#does he want to go apeshit or does he want to apeshit so he can stop suffering and fighting back against a world that keeps pulling

[zaunbinary]

it’s been said that they took a piece of sandpaper to jinxs character but holy shit. the last time we saw her lose someone she blew up the fucking council and when she loses isha, a child who reminded her so much of herself and died with jinxs gun in her hand, we don’t even get her name mentioned. isha filled the silco shaped void in jinxs chest. jinx needs someone to care for, someone to protect. she needs to be told to do things because she craves to be of service. she wants to be useful. whether that use is building a bomb or braiding hair, jinx yearns for purpose. without it she is so, so lonely.

what we hear silco say in the jail cell is a huge “he would not fucking say that moment” and yeah he wouldn’t and he isn’t. that’s not him. i’m giving more credit to the writers than what they probably deserve but silco is just a manifestation of what they need jinx to hear in that moment. it’s coming out of silcos mouth because jinx needs to hear someone she finds comfort in her saying it. what i would’ve done to align more to the silco we and jinx knew was have him still talking to her in the soft, comforting tone, but still enabling her worse behaviors. hearing it from him jinx would feel, for lack of a better term, like she’s getting permission to go apeshit. i wouldn’t stop there though. isha can’t talk so she can’t be a voice that actively haunts jinx, but silco can talk (and boy does he) what i would do is have hallucination silco appear alongside a version of isha and have him act as a mouthpiece for her. telling jinx what she wants to hear through the words of those she loved. everything she does she’d do it for them, it’s what they’d want her to do. they told her so.

it’d be awful for jinx to go through. it hurts to see her suffer. but this is a girl who’s whole trauma stems from being and feeling responsible for the death and error of everyone she loved. inder the right circumstances jinx could heal from all this, but those aren’t the circumstances that have been painted for her. there’s no world where jinxs grief, especially after losing isha, would be pretty or heroic.

[the-stove-is-divorced]

you. yes you, the one who wrote I've Got No Time to Live (And I Cant Say Goodbye) and Startled by Yourself (Still) aka the Doodleduo (MK&inkMK) fanfics that lives in my head rent free 24/7

you, author. i'd like to say thank you. theres barely any fics with them and seeing that you made TWO???? REALLY GOOD??? ONES????? EXPLODES. made my day.

also im making a physical book with one of them bc i need to read this at school too. 🥰🥰🥰 (also for practicing my book binding skills :P)

HI! Yes that is me! (*^^*)♡ AND TYSM!

I absolutely adore them SM, there's SO MUCH FUN you can have writing these two it drives me up the wall in the best way possible. And ofc! There's so little fics for them, and I LOVE THEM SM! Their interactions live in my head rent free 24/7. IT'S SO INTERESTING!

AND OMG I did not know the dynamic had a NAME? And good luck with the book binding skills! That's so exciting and I'm so flattered you're gonna do it with one of own my fics, thank you omg. ( 〃▽〃) You're making MY day with this message, ty! (´,,•ω•,,)♡

[sunny12th]

actually, it's weirder that she isn't angry about all that's happened to her. i think that's largely due to her not fully coming to terms with the trauma she's endured. she knows viserys was cruel to her, knows he sold her, but she just feels sad when she thinks of him. she believes her relationship with drogo ended with love as if that erases the painful abuse he inflicted on her at the beginning.

dany's moments of rage are usually about others, she's angry the Unsullied were treated how they were, she's angry her people of freedmen are hungry while slavers are feasting, she's angry at the injustice in essos. honestly i'd like to see dany get angry on her own behalf. so much of her story is about fighting for others, about raging against the oppression others have faced. i feel like it would be a moment of growth for dany to fight for herself, for what she wants, to allow herself to be selfish even. when has dany gotten to be selfish? to say "this is what i want and im gonna fucking take it. not for anyone else, for me." but of course that goes against who she is. a queen belongs to her people. a mother's first priority will always be her children.

it's her best quality, as a leader, but maybe it's one of her worst as a individual. we have to be selfish sometimes, we have to let ourselves want things and then go after them. dany wants daario but she puts him aside to marry a man she's not attracted to and who represents everything she hates. she wants to find a home in westeros but stays in meereen to protect the people there. she doesn't even wear the clothes she prefers because she thinks it's better for her people if she wears the tokar. the life she was building in meereen, before drogon saved her, would've been unhappy and short. if dany was half as mad with rage as some of the fandom believes then her life would be much simpler. instead, she makes herself miserable fighting for a peace that's impossible and directs her anger at herself.

i'm not saying i want dany to abandon her ideals. i love dany's journey in essos and i want her to continue it until slavery is eradicated, as it should be. this is all largely why i want daario to prove the fandom wrong. he made dany laugh in meereen, he makes her happy, and he fucks real good. i want dany to keep him with her, all the way to westeros. yeah yeah dany and jon are soulmates, sure. i do not care lol. i hope dany keeps daario as a paramour or consort or whatever the hell she wants. let her be selfish with him, since she won't allow herself to be selfish in any other way.

really grinds my gears to see people describe dany and her actions in essos as "fueled by rage and vengeance." for someone who's been sold and abused by her own brother, abused by her first husband, had her child murdered inside of her, dany is astonishingly not-angry. she's loving, affectionate, focused. she laughs. despite all she's endured, dany still laughs and is so open to others. she trusts and loves. daenerys is, above all else, resilient.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Daydream of a modern restaurant AU this morning where Ed's decided to make new name badges for his staff that include pronouns and Izzy just goes apeshit about it. Like "this is a Michelin-star restaurant Edward. We don't do that here Edward. Everyone is going to think you've gone woke Edward." And when Ed just sighs and asks him his pronouns for his badge, Izzy just does that thing transphobes do where they're like "I don't have any pronouns!!!" and storm off

So Ed decides. Okay. Malicious compliance time

When the new badges arrive, where everyone else's look like "Ed, he/him" Izzy's just says "Izzy, Izzy." Ed starts exclusively talking about Izzy like "hey, Fang, can you go check in with Izzy? Izzy said Izzy wanted to see you in Izzy's office" and when Izzy's like wtf Ed reminds him that he said he didn't have pronouns. Everyone else follows suit, except for Archie, who has in good faith assumed that Izzy is using his own name as a bold new set of neopronouns and is trying to figure out how to conjugate "Izzyself" pronouns

[triasticalwarlock]

More Adam brainrot with me(blood lust addition)-

Can I just talk about the size difference that you and Adam have in blood lust?

Look, just look. If adams hand is that big compared to lutes how big is it compared to yours? Like, your hand is just fucking engulfed in his, your hand is probably big enough just to wrap around his finger. A single finger, our hand must be the size of a peach or something. But the size difference just scratches the little itch in my brain to perfectly, so. :/

I know I've said this before, but imagine cuddling this dude. At our size in the story, if he picked you up, you would like a baby in his arms. He definitely likes to just grab your face and squish it, might shake you around lightly to. He would totally play with your ears, bending them and shifting them around, it helps him when he's stressed (he'll also squeeze your boobs/ass but we don't talk about that).

How he would just tower over you, he must have to bend his neck and back at a awkward angle just to look at you. If he got to his knees, he would probably still have to look down a little bit. He would let you hang onto his horns, sit on his shoulders, also letting you swing on his arms. Imagine him giving you his helmet, the mask overlapping your heads and a little bit of your shoulders. He is a little disappointed he can't preen your wings, but he doesn't hate them at all, likes to play with them actually, like your ears. And not only will he lend you his helmet, as well as his robe. And he'll let you keep it, he probably has more than a thousand of those things in his probably-house-like-closet.

Just like- LOOK

HIS HEAD IS SO MUCH BIGGER THAN LUTES. YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO BARLEY WRAP YOUR BODY AROUND IT. IF HE LAID HIS HEAD ON YOUR STOMACH, YOU COULD JUST- HUDHWMSJHXNDKFHFHDY

On to more sinister aspects-

I have full expectations that Adam is going to lose his shit at some point in this story, just lose his fucking mind. More than likely during the extermination(s). Just go apeshit. I personally think that Adam is going to be a fast burn even with you being a sinner because 1, the creator themself said they are shit at writing slowburn. And 2, in the SC (special chapter) they say, 'you've already met all the characters and they've all fallen into your hands', or something along those lines. So I think that Adam going to get obsessed pretty quickly. But back to what I was saying; he's more than likely going to lose his shit during the extermination because he can't reach you due to the others keeping him at bae, doesn't help that you're more than likely in the hotel it self because you know these motherfuckers are not going to take the chance of you getting hurt.

So he just starts shooting his holy light every where, screaming; 'get the fuck out of the way!' or, 'im going to kill all you motherfuckers!'. He just wants to take you 'home', and his pissed off because there's these little 'failures' (from what he calls them) keeping him from his main goal, other than killing all the residence of the hotel. But imagine if he does get to you, that he had lute hold vaggie out of the way and let Adam sneak in. You want to run up to him, he's your 'friend'. But you know that something isn't right with the way he's calling for you; his voice slightly shaking and desperate sounding, like he can't stand another second without you in his field if vision. His glowing gold eyes crazed and wide, like he can't let anything escape his friend of vision. Can't miss the chance of seeing you. And when he finally finds you, he grabs you, picking you up and forcfuly hugging you. Trying to soothe your cries, getting distressed and worried as you didn't calm down. Covering your mouth as he sneaks away to a portal to heaven, some how escaping everyone's field of vision. And as he stepped into the portal, he knew, he had you.

[yameoto]

NEW BOT ALERT! — new ex babysitter!sam carpenter bot for uh. health and wealth purposes. the concept was inspired by this excellent oneshot that drives me apeshit wild.

(ex) babysitter!sam headcanons.. because i’m doin those, now. expect a lot more to come.

✗ warnings ; large age gap (sam 26, reader 18-19), nsfw at bottom. dom/sub.

an absolute sucker for you. like when you were little and you wanted something— like an extra helping of dessert or to ditch out on homework: all you had to do was pout and blink up at her with those big, pleading doe eyes and she'd cave immediately. two seconds flat, easy. now? that still hasn't changed. you have her wrapped around your finger with a single look and it drives her crazy.

would spoil you to PIECES. ofc when u she used to babysit you she would pay for everything, but even now that you're a grown adult with an (albeit low-paying) part-time job, she'd find any excuse to spoil you. just.. coming home with random gifts at any point of the week. like it could be 4pm on a thurday afternoon and she could come up behind you like "baby, you know those headphones you really wanted..? well.."

or jst going out shopping with her and you wouldnt even have to ask for her to pay because she'd be striding to the counter with her card out, already.

definitely calling you "princess". i mean, that's what you are, right? you always have been, always will.

makes her knees weak when you call her "sammy" . you'd exclusively call her it when you were a kid and despite all efforts to prevent this, now, still makes her chest collapse when you say it. and when u add the cheeky little conjunction my, in front of it? oh, boy. just know you're getting more than a good night's kiss, tonight.

she loves it when you whine or beg her for anything. like.. loves.

she just likes taking care of you in general, so anytime you go to her for anything it makes her happy which is kind of fucking adorable. but she finds you coming to her for help adorable, too, so.. win-win?

can never stay mad at you. even on days where u make it your life's mission to annoy her (its your job to keep her on her toes!) she legitimately just.. can't — and believe her, she's tried. stuck in a perpetual state of mild exasperation.

veryyy protective nd possessive . but in more subtle manners like very adamantly refusing to let you walk on the side of pavement next to the road. or always having either an arm wound around your waist or your shoulders or interlocking your fingers — anything that keeps you safe and snug by her side. she’s just so used to the feeling of protecting u and she kinda just never wants it to stop.

..nsfw!

uses the fact she used to babysit you for EVIL. in stupid ways like smirking and asking if you want her to "tuck you in" before bed, except she's straddling your chest and gently prising your mouth open with her thumb and 'tucking you in' means 'choking on her cock'.

obsessed with bouncing you on her lap. u guys cld be doing something completely innocent, like watching tv with the whole gang in the room and she'll pull u onto her lap and slowly start to rock you on her thigh, like how u used to when u were a kid. except this time, you're both grown up and her knee's sliding upwards and pressing against your cunt and oh. whispering "shh," in your ear as she continues to grind her knee up your skirt, fucking purring at all the pretty little noises you make.

actively enjoys punishing you when you get too bratty. she finds your whines adorable, of course, but if she's feeling too grouchy she's not above replacing those complaints in your mouth with you know — something more substantial.

adores praising you and calling you endearments during sex. calling you a sweet little thing and whispering soft, reverential promises into your ear as she absolutely ruins you.

cups your jaw and forces you to look at her when you suck her off. utterly obsessed with that wide, glazed-over look in your eyes whenever you're on your knees for her. the way your adorable little puppy eyes go all glassy nd sparkly w tears when she rams her hips forward and makes you sputter. cradling the back of your head and holding you there as she thrusts, cooing sweet nothings while she bruises the back of her your throat.

[ethosnap]

Honestly I kind of disagree with that read. Not that bdubs isn't important to him, but I feel like etho is number 1 to BDUBS. It's the other way around. Etho for the most part always seems like he's at a loss whenever someone pledges their loyalty to Him, probably because it's a kind of commitment he doesn't have much say in. I think he'll stick with the tuff guys up until bdubs (who BTW was the one that initially suggested that they do every man for themselves, but also, is the one that keeps them together the Most by declaring himself leader, holding group meetings etc) (That one time Etho was leader feels partly like he did it to annoy bdubs lol) either 1) dies or 2) tries to squeeze him for commitment

There hasn't been a single season where Etho was there and supporting Bdubs during his final death, even when they were allied! And I think that pattern is why Bdubs suggested that their team operate the way that they do, so maybe it wouldn't hurt as much. But in spite of their apparent commitment to individuality, Bdubs is still upset about Etho's alliance with the family while Etho touts himself as 'unaligned' whenever convenient. I mean why wouldn't he take full advantage of their 'arrangement'?

I definitely don't think it's because Etho is rejecting Bdubs, I think it's like.... A slight misalignment. I don't know if this will be the season that breaks the pattern, but I do know that Etho is a bit more of a survivalist than people think, and he has trouble reciprocating relationships that require him to place anything above his survival. He will do his best until things get rough, but he's never once died in a self-sacrificial, glorious way. His final death has always been a lonely, desperate affair.

In 3rd life he fights at a distance from everyone else, and burns to death in a pit, just a little too far and quiet for anyone to help him

In last life, he veers far from the group during their charge and gets picked off alone in the woods by joel

In limited life he also immediately loses pearl and impulse and gets tag teamed by the meangills. He hurts himself and falls to his death. It should also be noted that the timed factor of this series would repeatedly push him into taking initiative, but his initial plan was just to steal pearl's kill lol.

In secret life he gets hunted down and killed by scar, still alone.

Double life is conspicuously absent because there was physically no way for him to 'escape' his commitment to joel.

I think it would be a really interesting turn of events if he DID go down for the team that was Designed so he didn't have to do that though, which is why I presented it as a possibility, but it's also not in line with the trend.

Thinking about the conversation etho had immediately after joining the 4Gs

Etho: "I'm a terrible teammate"

Scott: "As long as you don't betray us"

Etho: "I mean I've been betraying pretty much everybody this... (reconsiders) but I'll do my best"

And then shortly afterwards

Etho: "Let's keep this on the down low a little bit as well, because... mhm mhm, let's pretend like it doesn't even exist"

He clearly isn't ready to commit to the team, so I'm curious to see what'll happen when more people start dying. Will he pick a hill to die on, or will he cling to whoever has the best shot at winning?

Either way, at the moment, the 4Gs seem like yet another alliance of convenience and not a serious commitment. He's okay with selling his loyalty for 'more options'.

[ronearoundblindly]

omg not me freaking out that i am part of the group that gets bait gifs! FRIENDS!!!!!!! i'm fine. i'm chill. don't leave me!

This took me a minute to figure out what I wanted Sir Dorksalot to have done that was sketchy enough to have him make this face...

Watch The Fish, Jake Jensen x reader headcanon wholeass fic in bullet format because my god this got long

Warnings for mentions of masturbation and porn, accidental then totally intentional voyeurism, awkward and oblivious!Jake--so just Jake, yeah?--and smutty implications...

🥹 roommates to lovers 😊

you rent a pretty large house maybe even with one or two others at first, but they move out

jake has to use it as a crashpad sometimes because he'll be away for so long at a time, but he pays rent and the entire electrical & internet bill no matter what

you keep a fish tank in the living room

after jake comes back from months in hiding abroad away, he gets so excited to be home and spend time with his niece that he hosts an after-game pizza party for her soccer team

someone practices headbutting the ball inside and nearly topples the tank

jake catches the whole thing with his broad arm-span and a decent amount of strength just in time when it wobbles the whole table beneath it. his heart nearly stopped, and he's so grateful the glass didn't break. thank god you weren't home.

however, you insist on moving the fish to your room instead once he tells you.

jake's a little sad to see them go. he pouts so much you decide to take pity on him, buying a web cam to mount beside the tank so jake can watch them whenever he wants. he loves to do voices for each one, personalities, soap-opera-like dramatic storylines, the works

as an aside you ask him if the sound can be turned off on the camera. jake says yeah but he mostly means he can turn it to mute on his computer.

which he does, for the record, but he has to remember to do it each time he pulls up the feed of da fishies. honestly, half the time he's wearing headphones and the other half you aren't home while he puts the Marauders (because there's just one fat one) onto his third monitor for background.

so he forgets that the sound is on and a thing he might need to avoid

weeks later, maybe months, jake finally removes his headphones after a very long stint of coding, completely unaware of what time it is and that you are home in your room

at first, jake is dead convinced that some porn ad has popped up in a window behind his work, something he would go apeshit about and ransomware bomb the shit out of whoever wrote such slippery spam

the fish are peaceful as ever, blooping away whilst jake frantically closes program after program trying to find the hot chick moaning on his desktop...until it's all closed and the buzzing remains though his tower's fan stopped...then the squelching noise starts

jake is frozen in place, looking away from the fish like they're the damn problem, but he doesn't cut the feed

he...he shouldn't

he should turn it off or just mute it like he promised

and he tries

he tries really hard, gang

it's the cursor's fault that it hits the command to send the audio to his bluetooth headphones instead of mute

and he sets the headphones down on the keyboard, gnawing on his bottom lip and watching his closed bedroom door in anticipation of...getting caught, maybe? he's not sure

he watches the fish putter around like it's no big deal

which it isn't, right?

you're human. he's human. humans have urges. they touch themselves--they touch each other, too--and there's no harm in that. if anything...jake encourages it, or he would...if you knew that he knew about this

the noises are so faint from the itty bitty speakers two feet from his face, but he doesn't pick them up, still debating what to do

because there's a big difference between what jake should do in this situation and what he wants to do

he mutes audio and then cuts off the livestream

at least, that's what he did the first time it happened

he knows he's a perv. jake can't help it.

it becomes a game of sorts. it's like practice recon for learning a target's routine. not that jake needs practice at the job he already fucking has but that's how his brain justifies laying on his own bed in the glow of the fish tank feed with his headphones turned way up

he knows your bed is on the other side of your room from when he moved the fish tank in

he knows what your underwear look like from the laundry room downstairs

he knows what you smell like from the shared bathroom and the products lining your shelf

he now knows there's a bottle of toy cleaner in one of your sink drawers

and he shouldn't but he absolutely touches himself listening to you, fists himself when you're fucking a toy he imagines six-shapes-to-Sunday, teases himself when all you're doing is breathing softly from across the whole house and he's cold and covered in cum by the end

to be fair, jake hates himself because of all this, but he is now mildly addicted

he doesn't even exit out of the livestream anymore. it just stays up on his monitor like a screensaver, but he doesn't realize that once he takes his headphones out of range, the audio transfers to his speakers again

so jake goes on a mission for a few days, and at some point while you are cleaning up your room, playing music, you find two pairs of jake's socks in your load of clean laundry and go to toss them in his room...where the same music you're listening to way down the hall is playing...in sync...

you're horrified and then embarrassed and then quickly realized it might mean nothing

you have to test if it means something

jake returns from his mission on complete autopilot

just so damn tired

throws down his duffle on top of some socks he doesn't remember leaving out and just hits the shower for a long, long time

he hasn't talked to you yet

he hasn't even seen you except your car is home and your door is shut

he goes about his business

the volume on his speakers isn't high but he hears you speaking and assumes you're on the phone

he pays it no mind. he is glad to be home, glad you're fine since he's just been in a part of the world where most people are not safe.

in a weird sort of way, he feels he's earned the mundane sort of comfort that comes from "the same ol'" of this house

he's wiped out, so he crawls into bed with his headphones immediately, hair barely toweled dry, not bothering with boxers because...why make more laundry?

and then the worst thing happens

there's a man's voice coming through his headphones, and jake scowls in frustration and rage

did you go and get a fucking boyfriend? in a couple of days? or goddamnit is this some tinder shit in his home right now?

but it only gets worse

he can hardly contain himself, what with the gagging sounds and this dude telling you to take it like the whore you are, and JAKE WILL LITERALLY BURN THIS PLACE DOWN

now his ass is putting on clothes

now his ass is ready to riot

the sex gets more and more degrading; spanking noises and even choking, but not in a seemingly consensual way, which is when jake rips his headphones off, storms down the hall and barrels straight through your bedroom door

where...you...aren't

no one is. no you. no man.

just your laptop sitting on your desk near the fish tank, playing the money shot of a porn video he was just listening to

get the fuck out. get out. get out. his brain screams, and he bolts

he makes it three feet before stopping short

you're standing at the top of the stairs, a bowl of ice cream in hand, licking the spoon unbelievably slowly with your whole tongue

you're fucked. you're fucked. you're fucked. his brain adds helpfully.

"hey, jakey," you say with a smile. "whatcha doing?"

A/N: this cat is officially my reaction to pretty much everything because...well...it's very accurate.

[Main Masterlist; Jake Jensen Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

THERE'S A SEQUEL!

[shima-draws]

IT'S NAHU TIME 🎉

More info on him below <3

Name: Nahu

Age: 24

Hair color: Orangish-pink

Eye color: Dark teal

Element: Darkness/Dragon

Nahu is THE boy of all time. He's lovable. He's STOOPID. He's absurdly powerful. He's really chill unless you mess with his friends, then he goes apeshit. He's got a boyish charm that every single member of his group is attracted to. He's the official leader of the group and they would do ANTYHING for him 🥺 He's got the sort of qualities that just naturally draw people in and make him someone worth following. He's got that sort of selfish selfless aspect that makes it so he does what he wants (a very "marches to the beat of his own drum" personality) but it always ends up benefiting other people somehow. He doesn't see the world in black and white; if someone is in trouble he'll do anything to help them even if they end up becoming his enemy down the line--that's just the kind of guy he is :"D He's not the type of person to hesitate, and this usually ends up getting him in trouble as he tends to dive into things headfirst without stopping to think, AKA he has no impulse control whatsoever so he's a walking danger magnet. He'll do things his own way and his friends have learned that there's no point in arguing against his decisions bc he'll turn around and do it anyway! They've gotten used to it at this point but sometimes they still question the way his mind works lmao

Despite the fact that he's kind of dense, he's shockingly perceptive when it counts, able to cut through right to the heart of things. Being a dragon elemental probably helps with that since it heightens his senses and makes him hyper aware of others and their true feelings. In the case of Ione this proves especially helpful since Nahu really doesn't have the attention span to properly learn sign language but he generally gets the gist of what Ione is trying to say even if he doesn't understand her entirely. This leads to interesting situations where Ione will say something and mean something completely different, and only Nahu can pick up on that due to being able to read her emotions better ;)

Again he's fiercely loyal, especially to his friends--he views any sort of betrayal on their behalf the ultimate sin, and will fight with his life to protect them. He's got an unwavering belief in all of them, even if the situation seems dire or if they lie to him for his own safety. He loves them like his family and will sacrifice anything for their happiness 😭 This leads to him being very stubborn in some cases.

Nahu has zero knowledge of what personal space is so he’s up in his squad’s business ALL the time. Which they get used to pretty quickly, since he’s so physically affectionate. His favorite thing to do is press his forehead against whoever he happens to be clinging to at the time. Whenever a new member joins and they happen to see Nahu doing the forehead touch they’re like oh hello what?? 😳 Nahu does this most often with Ezio bc Ezio was the first one to join up with him and is the most familiar with his affection. (Also it’s really fucking funny to just imagine Ezio, who is SO stoic and straight faced all the time, casually leaning into Nahu’s touch and knocking their foreheads together. They make me ill) Eventually it becomes a comfort thing for all of them. Since Nahu’s their leader whenever they’re unsure he’ll just look at them and KNOW and come over and lean his forehead against theirs and it’s so soft...

He loves exploring, viewing visiting any sort of new place and just traveling in general as a grand adventure. This leads him to dragging along other members of his group with him even if they protest :"D But it usually leads to something fun happening anyway!

When he was a child, Nahu was very close with another girl his age. They made many plans together, including growing up and going out on adventures, but unfortunately the girl had a terminal illness and passed away (in his arms, no less). This, in turn, triggered Nahu's magic to go out of control, causing the black "stains" on his arms that are basically an irreversible manifestation of his darkness magic. He was a bit self conscious of the way his arms looked at first but now he’s totally chill with it (and. When he uses his powers dragons scales sprout on his arms and glow and it’s sick as hell.)

Due to the trauma of his friend's death, whenever someone in his friend group gets sick, Nahu freaks out and mother hens to the extreme. Generally he's a very carefree person so it's always very jarring for them to see him so worried (since he's always got the utmost confidence in them too). He's just not the worrying type! They end up having to take care of him more than the other way around. It's very sweet (but also sad considering the reason behind it).

Nahu hasn't cried once since before his childhood friend died, and honestly he really hasn't taken the time to come to terms with her death, instead choosing to ignore any mention of it entirely. It's just trauma he's never recovered from, and he stubbornly refuses any attempt in bringing it up, even to his squad. This has definitely caused some tension between him and the girl's father, who just wants Nahu to accept her death so he can move on :"( Nahu just doesn't want to accept it. Despite him being very open with his emotions this is the one case where he keeps a very tight lid on them. When he cries for the first time in front of his friends they flip their SHIT because they've never seen him cry before.

I haven't hashed out too much of his own personal goals yet; I can say tho that he's searching for his mother who disappeared when he was still a baby. His father is a famous adventurer who kinda took off on him as well so he grew up under the care of several others. Nahu's never held this against his father; he's not really the type to care much about that. Instead he finds his father's dream-chasing adventures to be quite inspiring, which eventually leads to him making the decision to leave on his own and find his mom.

Anyway I love him he is THE baby boy ever send tweet

[tizeline]

What do you think the tiz-turtles would think of their canon counterparts?

Ah man, pretty safe to say the The Drax Bros would feel quite put off by their canon counterparts, and vice versa XD The Mikeys especially I feel would have MAJOR beef lmaooo at least TSAU!Mikey wouldn't STAND canon!Mikey

Comperatively, the Donnies would obviously get along a lot better considering they're a lot more similar. They WOULD, however, diss each other's battleshells

Canon!Donnie: You made a battle shell that only covers half of your softshell?? How is that going to function as armour when it leaves most of you exposed?? TSAU!Donnie: What's the use of armour when I can simply dodge any attacks? But no wonder you're not dodging anything with that giant slab of metal weighing you down constantly!

Ironically enough, I feel like Canon!Donnie would get along way better with TSAU!Mikey than TSAU!Donnie does. Like yeah sure, the whole "hating humanity" thing is a bit off-putting, but unlike his AU counterpart, Canon!Donnie already has a softspot for Mikey and as such would be a lot more supportive in his evil endevours lol. Like, if this alternate version of his beloved baby brother wants to go apeshit and cause a little bit of destruction here and there, maybe he should be allowed to do so??? As a treat???

TSAU!Donnie would also be... uh... a BIT jealous of Canon!Donnie. Canon!Donnie gets to grow up with all of his brothers, they're all raised by Splinter, and they DON'T hate humanity? Why doesn't TSAU!Donnie get that?? Canon!Donnie gets to have his whole family while TSAU!Donnie is being forced to choose between the two separate parts of it. Not fair! >:,[

[gaoau]

would rather kms than make my only winbre post be about Suo's stupid ass, so it's time to talk about Nirei cause i love him. i read a post and my blood started boiling i dont fuck around so now i gotta defend him with my life. also cause im sick and tired of him not being deemed marketable enough to be included in merch and collab illusts when he's a whole—if not the most important—third of the main trio. (theres something to be said about Tsugeura too, considering they don't use him but love using Kiryuu, but that's a different conversation.)

anyway, on Nirei and the exceptionality of being ordinary.

manga spoilers btw also disclaimer im not eloquent at all i just say things.

there's something about Nirei that just simply isn't special and i think that's wonderful. not in a mean-spirited sense; Nirei is the most regular out of anyone in Furin, so much so that he had to buy an ugly shirt he didn't even like to stand out. he's just a kid with a notebook and a simple backstory trying to follow a hero's example. he's nothing extraordinary, especially seeing the people he's surrounded by. physically, he's very limited, which he knows and doesn't ignore at all, so he can't do much in fights. no one is more acutely aware of his own limits than Nirei. i was reading the first couple chapters again and it breaks my heart to hear his efforts be dismissed as "playing hero," because Nirei is the biggest hero in this whole manga.

it's true, yeah, he can't fight. he's more like another average citizen of Makochi than he is a Bofurin member sometimes. he lacks fighting abilities, his diplomacy isn't particularly the best, and he's two seconds away from going into cardiac arrest at almost all times. but it's not like he gives a shit. every single time he gets beaten into the ground, he picks himself back up immediately. he takes hit after hit, time and time again, because no matter how battered or defenseless he is, his drive to stay and protect the town is ridiculously strong. he does go down when he can't take any more (keel), but it's with improvement and training that he manages to throw his first—albeit useless—punch (noroshi or whatever this arc is called idk). improvement that, mind you, comes from recognizing his own limitations.

some have called him reckless (Suo), but i disagree, because Nirei is right. i know the kids would rather look out for him and have him uninjured by the end of a scuffle, but he doesn't need to be coddled. everybody else jumps into a brawl and gets a broken nose regardless of their fighting skills. Nirei isn't any different. he knows he's limited, he knows he can't fight, he knows he's nothing special. he risks it all anyway, because even though he wasn't built for fighting, he's more than prepared to try over and over again until his efforts are enough to make a difference. he's looked at Sakura's back and thought he couldn't match him, that Sakura gets back up even when he's almost fully tapped out, that he's not needed because Sakura's stronger and will be okay without him.

maybe he's right about this, too. i'm inclined to disagree, but i understand where he's coming from. Nirei chases, Nirei can't stop running because he'll fall behind all these phenomenal beasts that can hold their own. i'm so glad the conclusion he reached was "okay, i gotta step up my game," but i'm not really surprised. this is Nirei Akihiko we're talking about and, i think Suo put it best, he wants to become stronger more than anybody.

he's been at a disadvantage this whole time, "playing hero" rather than being an "actual" hero, but he has a goal. if he has to tear himself apart to stand next to Sakura, he will. he doesn't have to, of course, he's already more than useful the way he is, but when you're so ordinary that you get lost in the crowd, standing beside someone so exemplary makes you want more.

honestly, Nirei's fucking wild. lil bro's actually crazy. we've seen characters go apeshit, but no one in this entire manga is nearly as insane as he is. i appreciate Suo telling him to slow down and chill out, cause he was fully intending to kill himself learning how to fight with zero foundation. my guy was more than ready to actually fight Endo. he meant that. it's a good thing he's properly learning how to defend himself, considering he probably lacks the muscle to go on the offense. those are his limits and he knows that. it frustrates him, but it definitely does little to stop him, because look how big his back is. i hope somebody tells him, after all of this is over, that he's doing more than enough, more than great.

to be fair, fighting isn't even where he shines, and that's okay. he's not strong enough to beat anyone's ass and he doesn't need to be, either. he doesn't need to be a leader like Sakura or a devotee like Sugishita or mimic whatever the fuck Suo's got going on. in the words of my favorite pink curse, the real heroes are the ones who support from the back, and that's exactly what Nirei does. he's said it himself, he wants to guide Sakura all the way to the top and he can, because he thrives in being another citizen of Makochi. he's a regular person and i think that's what makes him so compelling and important.

there's something so fascinating about his simplicity. he really is nothing more than just an ordinary kid. put him in a normal high-school classroom and he'll pass his midterms with a 75. he recognizes what he's good at, of course, he knows the town inside out and it's very useful, especially to Sakura. he's amazing support. it really doesn't seem like it and people love to completely dismiss him, but i wanna be outrageous and call him the backbone of these kids. he was Sakura's first friend and he continues to be the one pushing and prodding to make sure he stands back up every single time. he's more necessary than anyone gives him credit for. i have no doubt in my mind that, if it weren't for him, Sakura wouldn't be able to do half the things he's managing. even Suo, who's out here acting like he knows the secrets of the universe, has to stop and reorganize his ideas when Nirei talks.

if Suo is the heart (debatable, but okay, whatever bro says) and brain, i'd like to think Nirei is the spirit and the soul. there's no chance the kids would work so smoothly without Nirei around—which, yes, arguably the same could be said of all of them, but i've seen Nirei be dismissed as a Zenitsu looking ass gag character and i've never had to hold back a kys so hard. idk for sure what the general consensus on him is cause i've only ever seen him used in the context of ships and never on his own, which honestly makes me a little sad. especially after seeing the popularity poll cause he didn't even make it into the top 5 with not even 1k points personal offense tbh i need a word with the voters. what i've gathered is that aint nobody gaf about his ass im devastated Suo has to fuck off (13k votes is crazy gang come on). which i don't understand. take him out of the equation and everything falls apart. Sakura's the sword, Suo's the strategy, and Nirei is the ambition, the desire, the force, the feelings.

there's much to be said about how he's treated, not only in-universe, but also by the people consuming the media and the pr team. i don't fuck with shipping, but when i'm scrolling through my timeline, Nirei only exists in the context of somebody's favorite ship. and don't fucking get me started on the mischaracterization. look me in the eye and tell me Nirei doesn't have more conviction than any of these dumbass kids. yes, he gets scared and he's fucking horrified most of the time, but motherfucker he's fighting. he's out there in the frontlines, making himself useful, biting more than he can chew and then some. i dare you to treat him like wittle baby that needs protection.

if not for his uniqueness, look at him for his regularity, because i find it endearingly wonderful. i think there's something so special about the ordinary. he deserves a lot more than what he's getting so these mfs better put him in all collab illusts cause if i have to see Kaji in his place one more time i will personally book a flight. okay thank you thats all i promise ill never come back here have day.

[thoodleoo]

hi! i was looking through your Aeneas posts because I absolutely loooveee the Aeneid and Aeneas as a character, and I just wanted to ask, what specific traits does Aeneas have that make you enjoy him and his story? Thank you for fueling my love for this epic haha! :)

ohhh man okay so. the thing with aeneas is he's the son of a goddess and a super powerful warrior but he's also like. he's some guy, yknow? children of gods are a dime a dozen in the bronze age theres like 8 billion of them even zeus cant give all of his kids special treatment because then nobody would be able to kill anyone in wars and then ares would get mad and we all know how THAT would end. and the thing is hes not even his own mom's specialist little boy he's barely even in the top three. yeah she'll rescue him when diomedes goes apeshit or whatever but she also rescues paris from menelaus's sexy powerful headcrushing thighs (shame, really) and really of all the pretty boys it's clear who her favorite is and spoiler alert: it's not the one who's her son. so we've got this guy who's not important enough for mom to talk to him but he's too important to die at troy like he really really wants to so he kind of just goes and does whatever he figures he's supposed to. and he's not really good at any of it and in fact is arguably kind of bad at a lot of it, which isn't entirely his fault because he's really living out somebody else's life story and getting dragged around by the thread of fate like a chihuahua being forced to go on a hike in spite of its stubby little legs and wet eyes that are prone to popping out of their sockets if it gets tossed around a little too hard. actually like you know how in a lot of horse sports it's kind of accepted at the highest levels that some people are going to pump those critters full of painkillers so they can still compete while injured? aeneas is that horse. aphrodite keeps loading him up with ketamine and endorphins or whatever so he can drag himself to italy subsiding on a diet of survivor's guilt and pietas and THEN. when he has a chance to break the cycle that made him the most eligible (read: most alive and not-helenus) prince of troy hes like actually you know what. Fuck this and straight up kills a guy begging for his life on his knees because if you want a goddamn homeric hero then youre gonna Get a goddamn homeric hero like it or not

i just think he's a lot of fun

[yes-i-write-fanfiction]

Below is why I think these bots would be fun to see;

-Knockout would become a famous model and Breakdown would be his bodyguard. I just think it would be funny to see Knockout caught up in a rogue attack and go absolutely apeshit on some poor goon that accidentally stained his 5 000 dollar designer jacket. Breakdown has to pull him of the poor man like "Babe, babe, it's ok, we'll get you a new jacket. How about a nice new suit too? That sound good?" Meanwhile the goon is fucking traumatized.

-Wreck Gar sees that Gotham is covered in trash and makes it his own personal mission to collect all of it and create his own trash kingdom. Gotham's streets have never been cleaner.

-I just want to see Kup train the batfam. And act old with Alfred. Perhaps save one of the vigilantes after they get captured, using nothing but his holoform, a bottle of liquor, a stun gun and guerilla tactics.

-You look me in the eyes and tell me Tarantulas wouldn't fit right in in Gotham. His freaky ass belongs there. He would sneak into Arkham to observe the patients, just for fun. Maybe terrorize them a little. "Doctor, the spider talks to me!" "Sure pal, of course it does. Did you take your medicine today?"

-Thundercracker becomes a best selling author in Gotham by writing about his experiences in the war (everyone thinks its just a very detailed fictional world). Jason gets absolutely hooked on the series and meets him one day while Thundercracker is out walking Buster. Jason promptly nerds out.

-Just full on pandemonium with the Scavengers. Krok tries to organize them so they can find a way back home but these idiots keep going on side quests. They were supposed to steal some Wayne tech? Sorry, Misfire got caught up in a riddle contest with the Riddler and Spinister is having a BBQ with Solomon Grundy.

-Airachnid becomes a serial killer/hitman in Gotham and quickly earns a reputation as a brutal and efficient killer. Not really that funny but a lot of potential for drama. She sets her eyes on her newest hit; Bruce Wayne.

-Swindle is fucking living life in Gotham, selling repurposed cybertronian tech to rogues. Not even necessarily weapons, just random pieces of regular cybertronian tools, like bottle cap openers that get repurposed into actual weapons by the criminals. Well, now he's on the batfam's watch list and has go into hiding.

-Ok, listen, First Aid is a freak. A well meaning freak but a freak nonetheless. So when he finds a vigilante bleeding out in an alleyway, of course he's gonna help them! But not before taking a picture of their wound and sampling their blood. Not for nefarious purposes! He just thinks it's interesting. But now the batfam tries he's going to try and clone them.

-All the rogues and vigilantes of Gotham band together to stop Shockwave. He's just trying to make his way home but his experiments and casual disregard for human life makes him such a threat that even sworn enemies have to put their differences aside if they want to survive.

-Predaking befriends Cass and she doesn't tell the batfam cause this is her alien friend and they've already got their own (Batman&Superman, Nightwing&Starfire, Red Hood&Bizarro, Red Robin&Super Boy, Robin&the other Super Boy etc.). Of course Robin eventually finds out and he's so mad cause that's a robot/alien/dragon! She can't just keep him to herself! That's so selfish of her! Meanwhile, Predaking is like "Where the fuck am I?"

[lovelyiida]

mha marriage headcanons<3

INCLUDES: bakugo, iida, midoriya, denki, kirishima, sero

WARNINGS: implied fem reader, vulgar language, sexual themes.

MASTERLIST

WORDS: 0.9K

KATSUKI BAKUGO

• the both of you always have hectic schedules...being pro heroes and all.

even when you guys are apart, you never shut up about each other. Especially bakugo whether that be interviews, events, etc. he's always about 'my wife my wife my wife.'

when both of you finally have time off, you need to be physically ripped off one another. hip to hip, chest to chest, lips to lips, you name it.

he loves it when he's finally able to relax from his hard days and come home and cuddle with his wife, he's not able to show his timid side all the time, he was so thankful for you.

you were the sun, moon, and stars for him. nothing you could do was bad in his eyes.

that's why if anyone ever talked shit about you, he'd lose his shit.

pull the "do you know who the fuck I am? Do you know who my wife is?"

he's just so happy to have you.

IZUKU MIDORIYA

the. perfect. husband.

anything you want, you get.

hair? done. nails? did.

he feels bad that he's never really there due to him being the top pro hero. so he always makes sure you're taken care of.

multiple calls day and night, he loves to hear your voice...or moans.

loves to show you off when he can, usually at special events where he's able to bring a date.

"hey! have you met my wife? she's lovely isn't she?"

"yeah my wife and I have been married for three years now, she's the most perfect wife I could ever have!"

TENYA IIDA

high school sweethearts, proposed at graduation.

had the biggest wedding out of everyone

values both of your privacy very deeply, one day he caught a peeping tom at your vacation villa. finding out that it was the paparazzi, he punched him square in the mouth.

wants kids, very, VERY, badly.

preferably 3 (2 boys and 1 girl).

if you ever were pregnant, he'd spoil you ROTTEN.

not one finger would be lifted.

sadly, Iida is the type to have favorites (he's a girl dad, no questions)

will do anything and everything for you, sometimes he does too much.

"I don't need your help, Iida"

"baby please."

SHOUTO TODOROKI

he didn't love you at first...

forced into a quirk marriage, it was cold, quiet, and lonely.

things would be so awkward, laying in a bed with a stranger that you are miraculously married to.

he knew that you didn't want your marriage to turn out like this, not speaking to each other only when necessary, empty conversations, and no signs of love or adoration besides a hand held in public outings.

so he decided to get to know you.

sooner than later, your relationship began to blossom into a beautiful relationship. the both of you felt like teenagers falling in love, the bond you discovered was so deep and intimate, it was love at second sight.

he became absolutely smitten for you, so smitten, he decided he wanted to get re-married. and you gladly complied.

BIG RING. BIG WEDDING. BIG CAKE.

he cried seeing you walk down the aisle, he honestly cried the whole wedding. he was so thankful for a woman like you in his life.

HUGE HONEYMOON.

EJIRO KIRISHIMA

beautiful marriage, a happy home , and way too many kids. six youngsters in total, 4 girls and 2 boys.

no one expected you to have so many kids, he just can't help to be all over your beautiful body.

from the loud tea partys with sharp plastic tiaras and itchy too-toos, to the late video game nights, he loves every moment with his children. and to top it off, he gets to kiss you goodnight.

even though you two have so many children, they have never been seen by the public. only photos of them when they were just born.

if he ever found out that his children were exposed to the media, he will go apeshit.

loves all of his kids, there are no favorites in this household.

but if he did have a favorite, it would be you.

DENKI KAMINARI

also, high school sweethearts, split up before graduation but got back together two years later.

it took a couple of years before Denki popped the big question, he wanted to be sure about your relationship before he made such a big commitment.

the proposal was intimate and private, just like the wedding. only your and his closest friends and family could attend. he wanted to make sure things were absolutely perfect.

the both of you are the peoples' favorite couple, always seen on variety shows/competitions.

CANNOT keep his hands off of you, no matter where you are.

in private or in public, his hand would be on your lower back when standing, or when you'd be sitting next to him he would rest his head on top of yours whilst his hand caressing your thigh.

from someone who is known to be of higher energy, he loves that he's able to be his calmer self around you.

he just can't get enough of you.

SERO HANTA

the last to marry

he loves you SO MUCH

he also had a big wedding, but the honeymoon was amazing, so amazing, it became the reason why you had two beautiful children today.

while they may not be angels, they are yours.

sometimes sero and your little devils would play pranks on you, hearing their loud giggles and tiny footstep ran away from you, it was annoying but you loved it.

sometimes you would come home from a patrolling shift and see sero singing the kids to sleep as he softly strings at his guitar.

you think to yourself how you wouldn't have it any other way.

hello guys!!! glad to be back for a little, I know I've been gone for a long time but I've been in school and it's currently beating my ass. hopefully I'll have more time to write soon.

also, like my new user and theme??

- lovleyiida<3

[oswinsdolma]

the bbc merlin writers actually went so hard when they decided "actually no, magic isn't some grotesque perversion of the natural order, it is nature itself" because like. it would have been so easy to write merlin's internal conflict as one between the inherent evil of magic and the good of humanity, to put arthur in the right for his persecution and to turn merlin into some kind of doomed hero within himself, but no. because in the end, magic had very little to do with anything, it was just something that was there. morgana didn't turn evil because she was magic, she did because she was scared and angry and manipulated. merlin doesn't wait for arthur because of the promise of a golden age, at least not really; he does it because he loves arthur and wants him back. in the disiir episode, if it had only ever been about restoring magic to camelot, merlin should have sacrificed arthur in a heartbeat for the promise of magic's legalisation. hell, even mordred didn't kill arthur because of his views on magic, he did so because arthur took away the person he loved. like yeah it's a fantasy show and magic is a massive part of that world, but in the end it was a story about people, and all the hopes and dreams within it are deeply and tragically human, and that's what makes it a good story, what keeps us going apeshit over it even ten years after it ended. in a way, there are two shows in the same way there are two merlins: one about magic, "emrys" and the other about friendship, and like merlin, the audience has to choose which one we should care about most. and every time, we make the same choice as he did: we, however foolishly, choose humanity. we sob at the tragic trajectory and scream as we see destiny gathering traction, but isn't that the point of tragedy?? if we followed logic over emotion, tragedy would never take place, but equally, if we followed logic over emotion, the idea of tragedy itself would become lost to obselescebce. the whole point of the show is to tell us that "no, we can't define things as one or the other, because anything with meaning exists as something more complex, because to give something meaning is to perceive it with a human gaze". magic may be a force of nature, but good and evil are ideas perpetuated by our innate, incurable humanity, and it is here we have a choice. we can't choose our destinies but we can choose from which direction to embrace it, and that's a surprisingly radical, beautiful thing.

[chimaeray]

Mouthwashing thoughts assembled from my Discord messages with a friend while we both go apeshit about it

Spoilers this is your only warning because I will be getting RIGHT into it. Things are not organized super well it's all braindump baby. CW for game topics including sexual assault, torture, and general misery.

Jimmy's so certain everyone is or should be like him that he can't imagine anyone actually caring about other people. From Anya asking for any help and care whatsoever being a nuisance to him, to Swansea keeping watch at the utility room just trying to keep Daisuke safe and put him in that cryopod once everyone else was too far gone. This is unfathomable to Jimmy, who's first instinct upon learning they were all getting terminated was to belittle and shame everyone as a way to guilt Curly further. Of course including Curly himself, who was struggling (kind of having a midlife crisis) and putting on airs to keep everyone else calm and okay for this one last job. Jimmy is so sure of himself being able to fix things like Curly does, and figuring out how they can "both be heroes in this," that he makes a dying man eat his own flesh and then freezes him under the idea that this is GOOD and RIGHT. He doesn't care about the misery and pain Curly is in at this point. At first he seemed happy Curly was helpless and incapable. He seems to take satisfaction in volunteering to force-feed those painkillers, after he ridicules Anya first. He's so sure Curly should be grateful and thank him for all of this. He can't take responsibility even when he kills himself, all he does is reassure himself he did the best he could at every moment and fixed it all in the end. Curly will be miserable for the rest of the life he may or may not have. Jimmy got his, alright. Curly was feeling unsatisfied with his life, so isn't this better now? Curly says he doesn't want his life to feel like something he has to escape, but now his own mutilated body is the prison. While he watches and hears everyone else die, and he can't even try to fix it anymore. He missed his chance to do anything about Jimmy before it was too late. And when Jimmy says he can still fix this, make sure they survive and will be okay, Curly wheezes and laughs at him.

My take on Curly is that he did his best by and large, but he valued his relationship with Jimmy and trying to salvage it more than he should have especially when Anya told him she was raped. He is still a man in a place of power that didn't want to rock the boat too much, and that ended up enabling someone that would rather implode the whole fucking thing. After everything Anya still chose to die with him. She loved him(in the very least platonic but I know romantic was teased), still felt safest with him, and wanted to keep them both safe from Jimmy. So she locked them into a room together to die, quietly, away from him. Even if that made Curly witness as she overdosed and died. She had the gun hidden away with them, out of Jimmy's reach. Until Jimmy manipulates Daisuke into crawling up that vent, sentencing a young and hopeful man to a miserably painful death. Jimmy doesn't even respect Anya's authority and capability as the nurse (at all) enough to have listened when she said the mouthwash would be too sugary to use as an antiseptic. He still pours it onto Daisuke's wounds, because his short-sighted selfishness used up the entirety of the last bottle of antiseptic they had to poison Swansea.

(Daisuke is literally in an osha training video that's like "If you know it's dangerous don't do it! Even if a supervisor says so!")

By the end Jimmy only feels guilty for some of it. He knows he sentenced them all to a miserable death but he only feels guilty for Daisuke, and then Curly to a point. He doesn't really regret Swansea that much, it seems mostly like he's bothered he got caught (Swansea even tries leveling with him, to some extent--somewhere between a confessional and a final reach to see if he can be reached at all). He only worries about what having to deal with a baby might mean for him, but he doesn't give a shit about Anya at all. She's a non-issue in his mind, just some pathetic and poor girl that couldn't even get through schooling. He's only worried about the fact that a baby means he'd have to be responsible for it, and whatever discipline may come from the last remains of the company for sexually assaulting the nurse. Her suffering matters so little to him, if at all even considering he smears her entirely out of his perception while looking for antiseptic.

He's such an unreliable asshole he can't even confront himself, he has to use Curly and Polle as his conscience in his hallucinations.

The party scene is so intense. What a way to illustrate how off the deep end he is and it feels deserved. It's not just used to show he's insane and trying to cope by pretending they're all alive. It's everything he wanted. Praise, adoration, respect. Part of what I think is very interesting is he refuses to admit they're fully gone, but he doesn't necessarily deny their appearances. He isn't fixing them to look normal in his hallucinations, it's still their dead bodies he's propped up in chairs around him. Like a really weird coping mechanism to assure himself that its fine, he did it, he did a good job. Now he just needs to eat and celebrate with everyone! They just need to eat a little bit of Curly, get through one more meal, it'll be okay!