#doctors refuse to see me

[lucadrawss]

"Imagine not being able to deal with change."

My brain doesn't process change like yours does. I have to have a set plan or routine, or else I shut down when trying to do simple tasks. Even the slightest change can send me spiralling.

[corallapis]

[expectiations]

The Husbands of River Song is not and has never been about the Eleventh Doctor being a deadbeat, distant husband (gross mischaracterization by the way) and the Twelfth Doctor being the "better, more mature, affectionate" husband.

It was about River Song. It was about River and how the events in Manhattan took such a toll on her. It was about letting us see River dealing with grief the way The Snowmen showed us how the Doctor coped after losing believing he had used up all his time with River.

Looking at THORS now with The Ruby's Curse in mind, I get the instinct (for lack of a word that I cannot remember) that the Manhattan incident Blue Roach read from River's diary was not the Manhattan episode that we saw in series 7.

On that note, I'd also like to bring up the fact that the Doctor grounds River and River grounds the Doctor. As Tree talked about in one of her tags, River's empathy is more cognitive than emotional and after musing on it for a bit – considering that the Doctor can no longer go to Manhattan (which may have changed in later series but I wouldn't know at the moment because I have yet to overcome series 7b) and that River does spend time with her parents in Manhattan post-TATM, would the latest Manhattan incident in River's diary be the funeral for Amy? Amy's death? Perhaps even Anthony's? I mean, we already know Rory died five years earlier than Amy. So, knowing how deep River's love for her mother is, it's not too farfetched to say that River spent that time with them. River was by their bedsides as they drew their last breath.

Then Rory's gone, Amy's gone, Anthony's gone. Where does that leave River? Where is the Doctor? (sulking on a cloud on top of Victorian London? trying to figure out the mystery of his newest companion? all while constantly mentioning a certain Professor Song who actually turns out to be his dearly sort of departed absolutely beloved wife?)

Without her parents (and her husband) to ground her, she goes on this maddened, grieving space Robin Hood spree. She seeks fun to fill in the void and takes up marriage as a hobby/side quest. Does she look for the Doctor? Perhaps. Yes, actually. Considering she crashed her latest sort-of-husband's ship onto a planet where she purported the TARDIS to be.

But... she's stealing the TARDIS. She could have just called the Doctor, yeah? So, she doesn't want the Doctor to know then. Well... yeah, considering she has two sort-of-husbands in hand.

So, River would just have gone on from one space Robin Hood spree to the next had the TARDIS not sort-of-stranded herself on Mendorax Dellora to make sure her Water stopped being stubborn and reconcile(?) with her Thief?

Also taking note of how River has read stories about them and knows that Darillium is purported to be their last night together (I could also bring up the fact that this is why I find it easy to digest the "River meeting regenerations of the Doctor younger than the Tenth Doctor makes sense and doesn't break cannon nor ruin SITL/FOTD" but that would take a whole other post). Does this River believe her time with the Eleventh Doctor has ended? The same way series 7b Eleven believed his time with older versions of River has ended? Is this all part of some grand fuckup in communication all thanks to their tangled timelines?

Maybe. Maybe not.

But has River not just been running from her family's death? Has River been running from her supposed last night with the Doctor?

"But River doesn't run." Oh yes. Yes, she does. She knows when to stand her ground. She knows when to charge. And she knows when to run.

"That's out of character for her." No, it's not. She's not invincible. She's this well trained assassin, yes. But invincible? No.

Invincible from the tendency to be blinded by their emotions? Obviously not.

River lies. And River runs.

She is not afraid of her death. She is afraid of the day when her husband, her Doctor, looks into her eyes and looks right through her. And it shouldn't kill her but it does. It did.

So she ran and ran until her bigger-on-the-inside Mum gently reached out and put her back together with the only person left who could ground her. Who she didn't recognize at first but still fell in love with (and would have loved even if he hadn't been revealed to be her actual, long missing husband). Who finally found out their last night wasn't just any night – it was a twenty-four year long last night. Who finally gave her a breather from all the running she'd been doing.

And oh what a night that was (it was the talk of the universe).

[causenessus]

feeling like tumblr is a job BUT IN A GOOD WAY like i sign on after my actual job onto my work (tumblr haikyuu smau writer hobby) computer (my home computer on it's last dying breath) to answer emails (reblog all of my moot's wonderful works) and write up reports (my own chapters LMAO)

[bizlybebo]

some1 tell me something to write/draw

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Zeb Wells I'm in your walls because what the actual fuck is this shit???

Because it definitely isn't something Spiderman whose gone out of his way to visit fans dying of cancer or other medical conditions or tried to save a homeless girl who was a fan of him only to be too late, would say.

[writeshite]

ok cool! then could you write a sub bottom dr strange x dom top male reader smut where reader uses magic/sorcery to tie stephen up? with a bit of a praise kink (reader praising stephen) too!

anything else is up to you!

Stephen hadn't known how well he responded to praise, it hadn't been noticeable to him at first, but now, limbs tied by magic, and cock neglected between his legs, he leaned heavily into your touch, chasing after the high of your praise. He hung in the air, writhing against the bonds as he pleaded for some reprieve, "Shh," you said, "you're doing so well, Stephen."

"P–please," he begs. You loosen the bonds, allowing him to reach out for you.

"You've been so patient, honey," you tell him, drawing him in for a kiss; he whines when his arms are pulled above his head. "I know," you sympathize, slipping in so easily, his head lols against his arm. "There we go." You direct his head, and he follows pliantly, "Good boy," you coo. Stephen grips the bonds as you fuck him - despite the praise - you always did so roughly, "Look at you, taking me so well."

You allow his legs the freedom to move, and he wastes no time wrapping them around your waist, "You're such a good boy, aren't you, Stephen?" He nods. "I know it wasn't easy, but I'm so proud of you." He remembers being rather shit with his feelings; he's happy you're a lot more patient than he is, unsure as to how you managed to wait long enough for him to work with his own inner turmoil. He quivers when you hit that particular spot, tugging painfully at the bonds.

You move his arms manually, bringing them over your shoulders, still bound at the wrists, "There it is..." you snicker. Stephen has a second or two before you pound at it, deeper and deeper - he's sure his voice will be hoarse again tomorrow - he never has to do much, leaving you to bounce him on your cock. "Desperation looks good on you," you remark, and Stephen weeps when he feels the familiar press of magic against his member - personally crafted to keep him over the edge.

The spell breaks when you cum - crying when the build-up is over, and the rush of your cum fills him - he demands another kiss, happy when you indulge him. The bonds fizzle away, and he loosely clings to you, sagging into your arms when the fatigue hits him.

[timedyne]

i love looking at the games in my steam library and then not playing them. its like people who collect wine claiming they're saving it for a special occasion. well i'm not even doing that. my steam library is a dumpster and my brain just goes into lockdown apocalypse mode if i try and play anything thats not the same two games over and over again.

[lucadrawss]

MY FUCKIMG GARLIC BREAD

THE ONE THING THAT DIDN'T MAKE ME SICK

GONE BEFORE I HAD A CHANCE TO EAT IT

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

idk sometimes there is a certain absolute horror to be had when you snap out of it for a brief moment to remember how abnormal it all is

[captainfairygodmother]

That moment when you're determined to get a chapter out today because it's the one year anniversary of S2, but then your head decides to start shaking when you're 1k words in.

Well, guess it's time to break out the text to speech and go and grab a straw for my caffeine free diet coke.

[eldritchbean-shapeshifter]

I'm at work rn and I have some juice I bought in the fridge and drinking it is making me feel so euphoric.

It's a Cherry Cranberry Juice, and the color is like a reallly deep purply-red and it kinda looks like blood, which is making my vampire self verrry happy.

It's also nice because I've been having trouble eating so drinking juice helps with my appetite and gets me a little more nutrients than the snacks and processed food I've been able to stomach.

[dylanlila]

what i mean when i say that cameron is a better wilson to house than wilson is that house and cameron make better narrative foils because fundamentally they are the same and wilson and house are very different people. i understand this is a hot take.

[lunar-fey]

ohhhh my god. okay. so. my aunt does like, she buys random junk in bulk from retail wholesalers and then resells it on like, facebook marketplace and ebay and stuff. whatever. so my mom works for her. makes a flat $50 a day, regardless of the fact that shes disabled and doing hard labor for at least 8 hours a day, often 10+. and min wage here is $10 an hour but mom argued that $50 a day is still more than what she would make working the same hours at an actual job because of taxes...like girl that would be 50% taxes. you do not pay that fucking much. so thats already Bad.

but today mom shows me a video of a knife theyre gonna sell, and i watch 2 seconds and i realize its an automatic knife, and i tell her hey. thats illegal to possess in this state. let alone sell! and mom is like ohhh [aunt] knows what shes doing itll be fine.... we sell knives on there all the time she just doesnt put pictures and calls them something else on the listing to get around fb/ebays policies :)

LIKE. HELLO. THATS NOT BETTER. YOURE COMMITTING MULTIPLE CRIMES. *AS YOUR JOB.* and she was just like "its not a big deal she knows what shes doing." folks, this is the same aunt that, very illegally, paid me to sort through her clients confidential tax documents and bank records and stuff. because she works for a bank. and took the records home to sort them. i dont think she DOES know what shes doing, actually!

[arcadequeerz]

Constantly tellin myself I just need to get better.

[elysabeththequeene]

on a somewhat personal note, does anyone experience that thing in which you can go back and still enjoy this one hyperfixation / phase from many years ago despite the fact that it was happening at one of your darkest periods in life but you very much found comfort in it yet you can't seem to regress back into another one that happened around the same time too because it also still holds some underlying trauma that takes you back to that time