#do you but now I gotta find new faves

[boxingcleverrr]

Me, watching all my favorite fanfic authors get more and more into kid/domestic au fic as we get older, as those things get less and less appealing to me as the years go by:

[https-murdock]

Be Good to Me - Matt Murdock

summary: do you deserve to come? matt isn’t so sure.

word count: ~1.2k

warning: mean!matt - blowjob, insults (not that bad?), unprotected sex (no!), orgasm denial, p in v, bondage, as per usual with me it’s my fave - porn no plot.

note: first time writing mean!matt ahhh, had a really fun time writing this - requested by our own @kit-murdock - thank you gorgeous ! hope it’s ok :)

matt knows how wet you are, he can smell it. does he care? no.

“knees, sweetheart.” he grimly says, eyes looking down in your direction with a new darkness that hasn’t quite shown itself before.

Dropping down onto your knees, the cold hard floor of his living room hits your skin fast. It’s painful, the way your weight is laying on your knees but again, you know he doesn’t care - he’s only here for his pleasure, and somehow that’s what’s making the slick soak your underwear so much.

“desperate, aren’t you?” He asks, belt buckle clinging as he slowly undoes it, taking it out of his suit pants and just holding it - almost as if he’s debating what to do next. “turn around.” he’s growling at you now, calloused hands grabbing at your shoulders and spinning you round forcibly when you don’t move quick enough for his liking.

“matt what-“ you start, before realising that you should probably leave him to do what he wants.

“quiet. i didn’t tell you to speak, did i sweetheart?” Matt says, he’s being stern now, it annoys him when you don’t do as you’re told. you get punished if you don’t do what he says - and often, that’s what you want.

but not tonight, you’re here to solely give Matt his pleasure - find delight in the way he responds to you.

He uses his belt to tie your hands behind your back, moulding you back into the way he wants you - on your knees, mouth open and looking up at him. As Matt is standing above you, the red lights from the billboard casing over his whole body, you know you’re in for a long, but fun, night.

“keep that pretty mouth open, dumb girl,” he begins, his hand gripping around your cheeks while your jaw drops open ready to take him, before he continues, “gonna take me? do as you’re told? gotta be good for me.” You nod, knowing he doesn’t want to hear your voice right now.

He takes his time stripping his clothes off, and you wonder if this will make him forget about the stress of his cases. Having you wrapped so tightly around him in any sense he wishes to use you.

slowly, you begin to feel the tip of his cock tapping at your lips - and you know what he means, but he says it before you can act, “come on, i know you know what to do. don’t act all stupid on me now.” he’s smirking, precum tapping onto your lips.

you let your tongue crawl from your mouth, desperate to taste him, matt letting his heavy cock fall onto it as you wrap your lips around the head. “good girl, just do as you’re told and you might get a treat.” he mutters, and the pulsing in your core gets stronger at the thought of him allowing you to come.

He’s twisting his fingers into your hair, both hands gripping at the back of your head as he begins thrusting his hips and hitting the back of your throat. There’s no time to take a breath as you let your eyes flutter closed and appreciate the taste of him all over you.

“A-ah shit, you do know what to do, fuck.” he’s giggling to himself, almost like he didn’t believe all the punishments you’ve endured had shown you how to please him.

you’re letting him use you, just sitting there and hoping he’ll let you finish and give you the pleasure of touching you. Matt’s hitting the back of your throat and sometimes staying there, holding your head down on his cock until he can tell you desperately need to breathe.

“you need to breathe? huh?” he’s asking, again holding you down and feeling the pulsing in your temples as your eyes stream. He lets you go, listening to the big breath you take when your head flies backwards off of him, laughing at you, “my stupid girl. can smell how wet you are for me, such a slut.”

“just need you, please.” you whisper, hoping the plea will reach his ears in a good manner.

“hmmm. no, you’re mine tonight, my little whore.” he grins, slapping your face gently a few times, feeling the drool around your mouth that you can’t wipe away, hands still bonded behind your back.

Matt drags you up, legs wobbling as he swings you over his shoulder, walking to the bedroom as you realise you’re in for a fight.

you’re thrown on the bed in an instant, the belt still tight around your wrists stinging slightly at the landing. “gonna use you. all mine. do whatever i want with you.” he’s almost talking to himself now, shoving his two middle fingers in your mouth and listening to the gag when he hits the back of your throat.

“ohhh sweetheart, you’re soaked. this wet for my cock huh?” he laughs, and your cheeks flush red with embarrassment, knowing how much slick sits between your legs.

“p-please. please.” it’s the only word that can even fall from your lips right now, the rest escaping you.

“so fucking desperate… all for this?” he asks, sheathing himself inside you in one fluid motion, making you scream out in a mixture of pain and pleasure at the feeling of him stretching you so good.

“hmmm, so tight still. always. my girl.” he’s muttering to himself, almost growling at you as he begins slamming his hips against you, the belt still tightly around your wrists as the pins and needles grows in them, the weight of matt on top of you, pressing your legs near your chest weighing you against them.

“so fucking wet for me, this is the effect i have on you?” you’re nodding frantically, feeling a little coil building below.

“don’t you dare come, little slut. don’t.” he’s saying, tugging you to the edge of the bed and standing up, still fucking into you but using those strong fingers to slap your pussy as he continues ravaging you.

“no, no no. matt, please.” you’re starting to beg, almost panic, because you know exactly what it means when he doesn’t let you come when he can feel it like he does now.

you’re moaning so loud he’s putting a hand over your mouth, “fuck, matt, h…”

“ah, shit. always so tight.” he’s grunting, and his hips are stuttering now. you know exactly what’s coming and you don’t like it, but he feels so good.

you feel it as soon as it happens, the hot white ropes filling you to the brim - and he pulls out.

as you realise you were right, a single, frustrated tear falls onto your cheek, as he throws a towel your way.

“please, matt i need to, i-“ you’re pleading to finish, desperate for him to tip you over the edge you’ve been craving from him this whole time.

“you think you deserve to come? i don’t think so.”

— tags

@lambmurdock @parker-murdock @silas-aeiou @blushingrn @audreyclimbs

[lucisfavoritedemon]

Straight to the Heart

Summary: What if Mabel put the Love potion on the wrong fries, leading her and Wendy on a quest to find Love God after the festival, some bonding between Dipper and Stan, and an unexpected love story.

Loosely based on this request from @thebestusernamepossible: Mabel adventure, with anyone, I just like Mabel and think she deserves to star in a mission. Maybe some Stan and Dipper bonding, they are my fave underrated duo.

Warnings: Fluff, unexpected romance, self-conscious thoughts, mild angst.

A/N: This took me a while to figure out what to write about, then I watched the Love God Episode and I couldn’t resist. Also this is the first time I’ve attempted writing something like this. So, I hope you enjoy 🙂

Mabel didn’t mean for it to happen, caught in the moment of trying to set up Robbie and Tambry; she didn’t pay attention to whose fries she sprinkled the love potion over. It wasn’t until the cook bagged up the order and walked over and handed them to none other than Y/n. Mabel ran to try to stop her, but Y/n was insistent that she get back to the shack.

Mabel rushed out and followed her. Mabel only hoped those fries were just for Y/n and she could keep her in her room until the potion wears off. Mabel watched from outside the window hoping and waiting.

“Stan! I’m back with your lunch!” Y/n yelled, setting the bag on the counter.

This was Mabel’s chance, but before she could try to climb through the window, Stan walked in and took the fries out of the bag, and opened them, “Ugh, did you let Mabel touch my food again?” Stan groaned out.

“Of course not, why do you ask?” Y/n walked back in after she had put her stuff away.

“My fries have glitter on them.”

“You want me to take them back?”

“No, no, it’s fine.” Stan stated and ate a fry. 

He looked at Y/n and suddenly felt something new, new and exciting. She suddenly looked so beautiful, more beautiful than he already thought she was. She started working for him many years ago when she moved to Gravity Falls after dropping out of college. He thought she was the perfect business partner, but nothing further developed between them. Stan secretly always had feelings for her, but not to this extent. He didn’t know how long he had been staring, but he soon realized she was giving him a concerned look.

“Everything okay Stan? Do the fries not taste good?” Y/n voice sounded worried and concerned. He wanted to say they were delicious, but her just standing there took every word from his brain from coming out in words.

“Perfect. I go now.” Was all he could get out as he took the rest of his food and bolted to the TV room. He thought he was safe to process what was going on.

Mabel, having watched this whole scene unfold, knew she had to undo what she did. She liked the fact that her Grunkle Stan was finally acting vulnerable, but this isn’t how she wanted him to confess his feelings for Y/n. She took off and went to find Wendy to help her find Love God and get the reversal potion.

~

Meanwhile, as Stan sits at the Game table in the TV room, Dipper walks in hearing his Grunkle talking to himself.

“Stan, you okay?”

“Dipper!” Stan sounded caught off guard, but also relieved, “you gotta help me!”

“Woah Grunkle Stan, what’s going on?”

“Something is happening to me. I was sitting in the kitchen eating the lunch I asked Y/n to get me, and suddenly, I took a bite, and looked at her, and she was standing there looking so beautiful. You’ve been in love with someone unattainable, right? You gotta know how to help me!”

Dipper rolled his eyes at Stan’s last comment, “look Grunkle Stan, maybe you finally realized that you have feelings for Y/N? It can come on suddenly.”

“Look, okay, I have sort of always had a thing for her, but I don’t what about today made her look so different.”

“Maybe your brain is telling you that maybe it’s time for you to tell her how you feel?”

“I-I don’t know. She’s just so…perfect. There is no way someone like her could be into a guy like me.”

“You never know. Why don’t I help you? I can help you come up with a romantic way to ask her on a date.”

“Y-you’d really do that for me kiddo?”

Dipper smiles and nods. Stan smiles back ready for whatever Dipper may have in store.

~

Mabel and Wendy meet at Wendy’s house to try to come up with a plan to find the Love God and reverse the spell.

“Look Mabel, is it really such a bad thing that Stan and Y/n become a thing?” Wendy asked.

“No, but I had a whole plan for that. They both have true feelings about each other. This throws off my whole plan. We have to reverse it. That and Stan was the only one that got the love potion.”

“Okay, so what’s the plan?”

“We have to find Love God, get the reversal and give it to Stan before something bad happens.”

“What could possibly happen?”

“She doesn’t return his feelings, he doesn’t eat, he doesn’t sleep. A lot of things Wendy!” Mabel yelled in panic.

“Woah, woah, it’s okay. We’ll figure it out. Don’t worry.” Wendy stated putting her hand on Mabel’s shoulder.

They devised a plan on how to get backstage to find Love God and to get his anti-love potion. Some of it fighting/punching Love God in the face knocking him unconscious, that bit being Wendy’s plan, but mostly sneaking around, and staying hidden to sneak the anti-love potion away from Love God.

~

“Okay Grunkle Stan, since you and Soos already planned on being at the Woodstick Festival, maybe you should ask her to go with you?” Dipper spoke to Stan as he got him changed into a nice new suit and tie.

“I-I don’t know kid. How do you know she is even interested?” Stan questioned.

“Just trust me Grunkle Stan. I’ll be there the whole time to help you if you need it. I promise.”

Stan let out a sigh and nodded, “okay kiddo, I’ll ask her, as long as you promise to step in and help me if my brain starts to do the thing it does where I just say whatever comes to it. Unless it’s a nice thing that is.”

“I promise. Now get out there and ask her on a date.” Dipper smiles and shoves his uncle out of the room to go find Y/n.

“H-hey Y/n…” Stan speaks up once he finds you in the living room watching TV.

She smiles at him, “oh hey Stan, you look nice today.” Her eyes check out his new suit and tie.

“Th-thank you. It’s new. Dipper picked it out for me,” Stan spoke nervously.

“It looks good. Kid did a very nice job. It suits you well.”

“Y/n, y-you know I was wondering if…I don’t know if you had plans tonight, but…um Soos and I are going to the Woodstick Festival…if you wanted to come with.”

She smiles fondly at him, “absolutely. I’d love to. Though, I didn’t think you liked the Woodstick Festival?”

“I don’t. Soos suggested I try to appeal to the young generation, saying I’m chasing away potential customers.”

“That’s a very good point.”

“So, you’re going with me?” Stan sort of smiled.

She smiled and nodded, “absolutely.”

“It’s a date then.” Stan chuckled then stopped once he realized what he said.

“It’s a date.” She smiled back.

~

After a few hours of getting ready for her date with Stan, they head off to the festival. Stan leaves Soos and Dipper to sew up the hot air balloon Stan planned, while he takes Y/n to a spot on the hill to watch the concert. He set up a little picnic for themselves and laid down a blanket. The night was looking perfect.

“I’m really happy you said yes to letting me take you on a date.” Stan stated as they sat down.

“Thank you for asking me to come. I always sort of liked you, Stan Pines. I was starting to wonder if you felt the same way about me.”

“I always have, but I never knew how to ask you. This afternoon though, it was like it was the easiest thing to realise and admit how I felt about you. Easier than anything I have ever done before.” Stan admitted.

Y/n smiles at him happily, “I’m glad it was.”

Stan smiled and pulled her close as they sat and watched the crowd below. Neither really paying attention to the music, but more paying attention to each other and the calm silence that fell between them. It was the easiest thing they had ever done was being here in the moment with one another. It was hard to focus on anything else.

Mabel and Wendy snuck into the festival. They had managed to get backstage and waited for the perfect moment to strike to steal the potion from Love God.

“Sound Check for Love God.” A stage manager came out and yelled at the van that he was in.

Love God came out and had his groupies mess his hair up before they all went backstage for the sound check. Mabel found her chance to hop in the back of the van where Love God left his belt of love potions laying around.

“Let’s see, summer love, puppy love, interspecies love, love of country music, ew. Ah ha! Anti-love, just spray on your victims and watch their heart die on the inside.” Mabel exclaimed in joy.

“Awesome, let's go find Y/n and Stan and spray them!” Wendy smiled from the side.

“Not so fast! So, you’re the person who has been stealing my potions,” Love God appeared out of nowhere, “I warned you kid, but you didn’t listen. Hey where you’d go.” He looked and realized Mabel and Wendy were running away from him.

He chased after them trying to get the potion back from them. They weaved in and out of the crowds. Love God even flew above them to try to catch them off guard, but with no luck. He finally had to do something that may throw one of them off guard, and that was visions of heartbreaks past. This affected Mabel more than Wendy, causing Mabel to give up the potion and it landing back in Love God’s hands.

“I’ll be right back toots, I’m gonna check on Soos and Dipper to see how the balloon is coming.” Stan smiled as he stood up.

Stan walked over to Soos and who were on the other side of the fence and asked how everything was going. He critiqued them on a few things, but the balloon was ready to lift into the air. Unfortunately, as the balloon lifted into the air, two letters ripped from the balloon, making the horrifying Stan balloon say ‘I EAT KIDS’ instead of ‘I HEART KIDS’.

Crowds were running and screaming from the monstrous balloon that now had caught fire. Stan, Soos, and Dipper ran off to follow where it was going. Y/n got up and ran after them, running at their heels. The balloon then settled down right on top of Love God, making him let go of the Anti-Love potion which he had finally let go of.

Once the excitement of the event settled, and the fire was put out, everyone turned and saw Stan and ran screaming and yelling, “he’s gonna eat us!” Y/n giggled at the remarks from everyone. After all the years of running away and secluding the business that could come from the festival, Stan was probably better off than trying to please the younger generation.

“Being loved by the youth is overrated, being feared, no that’s priceless.” Stan stated wrapping an arm around Y/n and patting Soos’s shoulder.

“I couldn’t agree more. You were probably better off steering clear rather than appeasing the youth anyways, but it made a pretty good first date story.” Y/n giggled, teasing him.

“F-first date? M-meaning you want more? With me?” Stan asked her in shock.

“Yeah, I’d love to go on another date with you, many more dates actually.” She smiled.

Stan couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed with happiness, he had no idea how it came to be, or what possessed him to even talk to Dipper about it, and get encouraged to ask her on a date, but he was happy he did.

“Y-you know, I wanted to ask you out for a while now, but I know the chaos of everything and running the shack with me, no time was really a good time, plus I never really knew how to tell you till today. I don’t know what you did to my fries, but whatever it was,” he grabbed Y/n by the hands, “I’m glad you did it because I would never have never gained enough courage to ask you out myself.”

Y/n smiles and kisses his cheek, “whatever stars aligned in our favor today Stan, I’m glad they did. You’ve always made me feel so special, but tonight has topped everything.”

Mabel watched their exchange unfold, and looked at the bottle. She couldn’t bring herself to spray them. They were happy and that’s all that mattered. Her Grunkle Stan finally had someone who could make him happy, and she was happy that person was Y/n. She did a lot for her uncle, and couldn’t ask for him to fall in love with anyone else.

“Having second thoughts there bud?” Wendy knelt down and whispered.

“They seem so happy, yeah it didn’t happen in the way I had planned, but maybe Grukle Stan is right, he would have never gotten the courage to ask her alone. Maybe he did need a push in the right direction. I can’t mess with the fate of their love Wendy.”

Wendy nods in response.

Stan turns to Dipper, “hey kiddo, thanks for the help. Without you, I may not have gotten that extra umph I needed to really ask Y/n out. You really helped me kiddo. You’re a true man Dipper.”

Dipper smiled at his uncle's praise, “thanks Grunkle Stan.”

The rest of the night the six of them sat and watched the concert happily as can be. It was the happiest any of them had been in a long time, and they all hoped that it would last a lifetime.

[madelynraemunson]

HEY MADDY, WHAT’S ON TV? 📺

𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭 (…𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬) part 1/2

🥡 steddie x freaky friday fanfiction • RATED: NC-17 🥡

SUMMARY: Dustin’s science experiment goes horribly wrong and his two ‘bickering besties’ have to suffer the consequences.

WORD COUNT: 11.4k words

CONTENTS CONTAIN: (EASTER) EGGS, WHEAT, METAL, PARALLELISMS, A PINCH OF COMEDY, ANGST, AND LOTS OF SWEARING

ALLERGENS: CHEESY, CORN(Y), SHELLFISH (sorry eddie)

author's note: might put this on ao3 idk this one's a big boi.... hey y'all! i’m a little late to the steddie body swap train, but have arrived nonetheless! also i’m so stoked that jamie lee curtis and lindsay lohan are currently working on a freaky friday 2!! one of my fave childhood movies and i can’t believe we’re getting a parte dos :,) also, jake alan = corroded coffin in this AU

🥠

“Jesus Chr��� what did you do to my hair?!”

“What did you do to MINE?!”

Perhaps a rewind is necessary. Metaphorically, of course. Time travel’s not real! ;)

      ◄ ◄ ◄  R E W I N D  🎞️

The year is 1989. Camp Knowhere. And since it’s the last year before he ages out of summer camp, Dustin Henderson is determined to 'WOW' everyone with his newest invention.

“They’re kinda like boner pills.”

“Oh...! WOW...?”

It’s not the weirdest thing Steve's heard come out of Dustin's mouth. In fact, he's practically immune to insanity at this point, having been surrounded by hormone-driven teenagers for a month and a half straight.

“Look I know, it sounds crazy,” Dustin pleads. “But imagine being able to walk a mile in someone's shoes just by eating a cookie. They'd be like the Viagras of empathy!"

Again, not the weirdest thing Dustin has said. 

And for as long as Curly keeps hanging out with Eddie Munson, his Other Older Male Friend (O.O.M.F.) constantly like he has been all summer, it certainly won’t be the last.

Being a volunteer camp counselor hasn’t panned out as expected for Steve Harrington. 

For the past six weeks, Dustin has spent most of his time locked in his cabin trying to perfect his new creation. But he's been MIA for so long, Steve hasn’t been able to teach him how to start a fire, pitch a tent, or even pick Dustin's brain about being his guest for Show and Tell. 

Making s’mores. Canoeing. Telling scary stories in the dark. Dustin and Steve are missing out on actual summer activities. The real reason he signed up to be counselor in the first place. 

But you know who has been able to spend time with Dustin?

"Eddie and I spent almost every night trying to come up with good fortunes," Henderson boasts.

Not the counselor, but the Certified Loiterer.

Steve bitterly kisses his teeth. “That’s awesome, man! But hey, speaking of spending—"

"They are so clever too. You gotta hear 'em!"

"I'm sure they are! But now that you're practically finished, I was sorta hoping—"

“AND,” Dustin adds. “if you get a good one you can add ‘in bed’ after for some comic relief.”

Steve crosses his arms as he finds himself fading back into silence.

“You are destined for great adventures…in bed,” Curly smirks, waving a fortune in Steve’s face. “You will be met with great luck this week... in bed. You are a pleasure to have around…in bed.”

“Agh, please tell me one of Harrington’s lays said that,” comes a voice. “Otherwise this interaction is very concerning.”

Dustin gasps. “EDDIE!”

Speaking of The Devil.

Like nails on a chalkboard, in walks Eddie Munson with his fucked up voice, fucked up rep, fucked up hair, and a fucked up sense of humor to match.

“Hey, Henderson,” Eddie gives a curt nod. “Hey, Steve.”

“Munson.”

“I was just telling Steve about my fortune cookies,” says Dustin. “I can’t wait to win people’s hearts over at Show and Tell, along with my spotlight secret weapon.”

“What’s your spotlight secret weapon?” Steve inquires.

“You’re looking at him,” Eddie quips. “I’m Dustin’s music act for his Show and Tell.”

There’s a pang in Steve’s heart that he wishes wasn’t there. All summer, the Retired Cub Scout had been secretly hoping that Dustin would ask him to be his Show and Tell buddy. He had so many survival skills up his sleeve that he wanted the little twerps to know before they age out. 

But the stars had other plans, he supposes.

“My friend’s friend’s dad is a music scout for Cardinal Records,” Dustin explains. “If he shows up and sees Eddie play, Corroded Coffin may have a chance!”

“Yup,” Eddie nods. “We’re performing our new song Take Me Away.”

He hands Steve a piece of crinkled paper from his back pocket, to which Steve reads after clearing the lump marinating in his throat.

“Don’t wanna grow up, I wanna get out. Hey, take me away,” Steve reads.

“Aren’t the lyrics so metal?!” Dustin beams in admiration.

“They’re uh, very edgy…” Steve shrugs.

“And incredibly fitting, when you consider the circumstances. Just wait ‘til you hear Eddie and his band perform it!”

“I think I’ll be busy with camp duties...” Steve grimaces, handing the sheet back over to Eddie. “Sorry.”

“No worries, they will just perform in your garage. They still gotta practice. Been needing another place to do so too."

Steve's eyes widen.

“What?!” he shakes his head. “Absolutely not. When did we agree on this?”

“Uh, beginning of summer?" Dustin points out. "You said you’d be willing to accommodate any of my needs. Especially since my mom’s gone to her spicy book retreat and basically threw away keys to the house.”

Steve now recalls telling Dustin that. But nowhere did it say babysitting his replacement would be in the cards.

"I'm sorry Harrington, I know I'm kinda butting in…" Eddie acknowledges.

Finally, something he and Steve can agree on.

"But we're kinda desperate at the moment, so it would mean the world. You won't even know we're there."

“It’s still no!” Harrington blubbers. “Okay? With the loud music and Eddie’s screaming, I’ll have the Loch Nora book club moms with pitchforks at my door. We have a reputation to uphold.”

“Who’s to say the Loch Nora moms don’t want in on all the angsty fun?” Eddie smirks. “Corroded Coffin’s an acquired taste, but I’m sure your… progressive… neighborhood wouldn’t mind.”

"It's not that," Steve shakes his head. "Even though we’re ‘progressive’, my neighborhood is still very much suburban-families-with-young-kids. They'd call the cops on us, for sure."

But Loch Nora was just a decoy for Steve’s true feelings. If everyone sees how cool Eddie is, they’re going to make him their Comfort Grown Up. Then where would Steve go?

Especially if they caught a glimpse of those big, brown eyes and the way they glisten in the amber sunset. And apparently Dustin’s caught wind of this Munson Magic as well; because not too long after, he’s imitating Eddie, the coercion-via-cuteness factor ramping higher on his part. And how could Steve say no to his lil face?

“Just this one time, Steve?” Dustin begs. “Please, please, pleaaase?”

“Dustin…” Steve shakes his head. 

“Pleaaase,” a pouty Eddie chimes in, slyly gazing up at Steve through his long, batty lashes. “We’ll behave, Stevie. We promise.”

But Harrington is standing his ground. Eddie already stole his best friend away from him. His gig. His spot at the Cool Adults table. Did he want Harrington’s life too?

“NO!” Steve insists. "NO!"

“YEAAAH!” Eddie croaks into the microphone while he seductively strums at his guitar. “YEEEEAAAHHHH!”

Performing in Steve’s garage was a YES-go after all. Especially if free bud has anything to do with it.

"This dude and his band are pretty good," Argyle comments as he takes a long, savoring drag from his hefty blunt. "Corroded Coffin, man. They're gonna be big one day."

"Just wait til you hear his guitar solo," Jonathan adds. "Eddie's been working on it all summer for Dustin’s show.”

The walls of the Harrington household are forced to withstand a migraine-inducing bass while everyone — but Steve —  jams out, losing themselves in a song about wanting to stay young forever.

“Don’t wanna grow up, I want to get out. Hey! Take me away…”

Jealousy festers within the host as he watches, taking in the sight of an awestruck Dustin playing his air guitar alongside Eddie, resonating with the lyrics the way he passionately yells,

“I wanna shout out, ‘take me away…away away away’…”

“Someone take me away,” Harrington’s inner monologue spews.

But it’s not that Steve hates the song, nor is he having a miserable time with everybody. It’s not that he hates Eddie or his stupid raspy voice, or the way he makes the guitar sing with every calculated twiddle of his fingers and every provocative buckling of his knees. In fact, it’s the opposite. Steve just didn’t want to admit that Dustin’s O.O.M.F. — and the other members of Corroded Coffin — were actually… pretty cool. 

And judging by the fact that Eddie was most likely Dustin’s first choice for the talent show, there was a cornier, more ominous second thing that Steve isn’t willing to admit: it’s that the exclusion really hurts him.

“Same old SHIT,” Eddie sings. “Never ends.”

“WHOA!” Harrington exclaims, waving his disapproving hands in the air.

The band stops the song immediately, the negative feedback from the amp plaguing the air while they stare around in confusion.

“What?” Eddie demands.

Any chance there was for Steve to try to humble 'The Freak', he took. And clearly this time around, there was no hesitation.

“You’re not really gonna say the S word when you perform at Show and Tell, are you?”

“The S word?” Munson retorts. “What, is this preschool?”

Ba-dum-tss! goes the drummer.

"Gareth," Eddie scowls.

Gareth Emerson digresses with a sheepish shrug.

“No," Steve shakes his head. "But it’s still a summer camp for kids.”

Eddie chuckles at this. “Come on, Harrington. Don’t act like YOU weren’t cussing up a storm at their age. The kids are all in their rebellious phase anyways. They’re gonna love it.”

Eddie’s known Steve since elementary school. This is the same guy who held swear contests, who cussed because he thought it made him look ‘mature’. The same guy that used to call women “bitches”. The same guy who almost got suspended because he and Tommy H. were yelling out slurs during an assembly, but luckily his superintendent mom was there to pull some strings to simmer it down to one afternoon of detention.

Harrington couldn’t possibly choose now to care about profanities.

“I’d rather you not bend the rules of Camp Knowhere.”

Bend the rules?!

It doesn’t take too long for Eddie to figure out that the issue goes beyond Camp Knowhere. In fact, both of Dustin’s O.O.M.F.s know that. 

 “Why the sudden change of character, Harrington?” Eddie crosses his arms. “Huh? After all these years?”

"All these years, what do you mean all these years?"

"You know exactly what I mean."

Captivated, nosy eyes bounce back and forth between the two as they argue... on and on and on and on.

“This happens every time,” Jonathan hisses to Robin at a low whisper so that they don’t hear. “Do you think they ever get tired of it?”

"I actually don't know what you mean," Steve counters. "And quite frankly, I feel like you don't seem to really know me at all."

“Hey, I’m just following your lead,” Eddie shrugs. “You never took time to get to know ME when we were in school. Unless I had something you and your friends wanted of course.”

“So all of this is MY fault?”

“I never said it was.”

It’s almost ritualistic at this point, the arguing. 

Just then, Gareth starts up again, issuing a theatrical drumroll to ease the tension. It only seems to make it worse, judging by how Eddie and Steve hiss at him immediately.

“GARETH!” “EMERSON!” 

The drummer refrains once more. 

Steve is quick to pick up where they left off. “I can read between the lines.”

“Crazy thing to say for someone who’s paid people to write his book reports.”  

“I’m just…looking out for everyone, okay?” Steve snaps, reverting the conversation back to the kids. “The children might not care, but it may look bad on the counselors. And I like my summer gig, spending time with my best friend. I don’t wanna jeopardize it.”

A self-serving response. Eddie knew to not put it past Harrington.

Regardless, Eddie chooses to comply. Not to give Steve what he wants, but because Dustin's happiness is on the line. And if his best friend is happy and Corroded Coffin gets a record deal, then Eddie wouldn’t have to deal with Steve Harrington or Hawkins much longer. 

The band starts up again and, this time, remains uninterrupted. 

Meanwhile, Steve sulks back in his seat, unable to pinpoint why he felt like the issue wasn’t resolved. But he soon realizes that for as long as Eddie Munson is part of the equation, the problem will remain a constant.

“Same old stuff,” Eddie bitterly corrects himself. “Never ends.”

“Fortune cookie, anyone?”

Two hours feel like days when everyone is stoned. And given that everyone’s too tired (and high) to drive themselves home, a sleepover at Steve’s quickly becomes inevitable. 

“Did we get the same fortune?” Jonathan asks Argyle.

“No, we didn’t,” he shakes his head. “Guess we’re not feeling sorry for each other tonight.”

Dustin chuckles.

“What are we feeling tonight? I’m thinking pizza.”

Leaving everyone else to decide on munchies, Steve and Eddie appoint themselves as the Designated Clean-Up Crew, searching for and rounding up any trash they see laying around.

“So, what are you up to nowadays?” Steve questions. “Since we graduated high school.”

“Oh, same old, same old,” Eddie offers a tense chuckle. “Still in The Biz, but the money’s good. Thankfully this time I’m doing it without my pops around.”

It strikes a nerve in Steve. He’d give anything to have his dad around. 

He also wouldn’t be proud to be in the same position as he was in high school. Didn’t Eddie want to grow as a person?

“That’s amaziiing.” Steve lies.

Uncomfortable now, Eddie clears his throat, shifting his attention back to Steve so that he can eat his own words.

“What about you? What’s The Hair been up to?”

“I work at Family Video and then help out at camp right after.”

“Try bringing that to the career fair,” Eddie scoffs jokingly.

“Sorry?”

“I said great gig you got there,” Munson perjures.

Their gazes meet for a brief, charged moment before quickly averting. 

Eddie watches Steve with both curiosity and disdain. 

This is who his best buddy is seeing on the side? It’s hard for Eddie to think of anything Dustin and Steve could possibly have in common. What would they even talk about? Maybe the new Brook Shields movie, hair gel, and their favorite ice cream flavors, but that’s just about it. And Steve Harrington doesn’t seem like the best influence for Dustin anyways.

Steve’s eyes flicker towards Eddie, trying to hide his scrutiny behind a thinly veiled expression of disinterest. 

He notes the way Eddie’s band tee has seen better days, the sleeves ripped and the print faded, and the way he absolutely reeks of Mary Jane and indistinct rubber from a Spirit Halloween store. If Dustin brought Eddie home to Mrs. Henderson, she’d probably stroke out. 

Just then, a very intoxicated Robin chimes in.

“Duuude, Eddie. It’d be awesome if Coffin got this gig.”

“Oh, I know right?” Eddie lights up immediately. “We’d be out of this rugged town once and for all and living life in the big city.”

The distaste for Eddie only amplifies with that statement. 

All of Steve’s life, he’s had nothing but good experiences in Hawkins. To have a “rough” upbringing, you had to be looking for trouble. Which is something Eddie and his father, Al seemed to have been doing since the beginning of time. 

“What’s so rugged about Hawkins?” Steve challenges Eddie.

“Wouldn’t you like to know…” Eddie mutters.

“I would, actually,” Steve taps his feet impatiently. “Go on, tell the class, Eddie. What is so rough-and-tough about this part of town?”

Eddie knows Steve is trying to set him up. He thinks for a moment, carefully crafting his words before speaking.

“There’s just…” Eddie says with trepidation. “A lack of equal opportunity to succeed. Always has been. But in the city, opportunity is everywhere. For everyone. Indy would be a perfect, clean slate for us.”

It’s like a sock to the face. 

Lack of opportunity? Eddie is most definitely looking for problems now. If he wouldn’t consider Steve being nice enough to lend him his garage — even when he didn’t like him — an ‘opportunity’ to succeed, then what would he consider?

“I mean, sure. Hawkins has issues like any other city, but I think there are equal opportunities for everyone,” Harrington protests. 

“Very rich coming from you, Suburbia.”

“Uh oh,” Dustin mutters.

Now Steve is pissed. 

Does Munson think that just because Steve lives in a nice house he’s never had problems in his life? With that logic, Eddie isn’t going to get himself very far. It’s very evident now, given where he currently is.

“Why can’t you accept the fact that life comes for others too?!” Steve spits. “Life is also hard for me, you know!”

“Guys…” Dustin starts.

A bitter laugh expels from the pit of Eddie’s stomach.

“Life is hard for you?!” Eddie exclaims. “It’s hard for you? How can life be that hard? Hey, I’m Steve Harrington. My life consists of Daddy’s money, wearing hair pomade to the ceiling and getting rejected by girls!”

“Hey, why don’t we play that one song again!” Jonathan suggests. “You know the take me away, away, away, away, away!”

But Steve and Eddie are way too locked in, committed to tearing each other to bits because the other one started it. Eddie wanted to play that game huh?

“Well all YOU know is complaining about the consequences of your own actions!” Steve spews in return. “Oh look, I’m Eddie Munson, I’m painfully self-unaware, I’m inconsiderate of everyone around me, and I commit petty crimes then wonder why the cops hate me. AND I still live with my uncle – AT MY BIG AGE.”

“YOU STILL LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS, HOW IS THAT ANY DIFFERENT?”

“AND! You’re as loud as your guitar. NEW-NEW-NEW-NEWWW. How about you evaluate your priorities if you want a good life, Munson? And make sure you at least have some ammo under your belt before coming for me.”

“Wow,” Eddie laughs. “I don’t know anyone more tone deaf. You think my walk of life was a choice?! Not everyone was handed everything on a silver platter, Steve. Not everyone’s lives are perfect like yours!”

“Sweethearts, anybody?!” Robin butts in, desperately waving the candies in the air. “You are what you eat, and everyone in this room is VERY, VERY SWEET!”

But the boys are only getting started. If this is Robin’s version of sweet, she was about to know what sour is real quick.

“You think my life is perfect?! At least you have a father figure.”

“I want you to assess the room we’re in, Harrington,” Eddie implores. “Family must love you a lot if they’re letting you throw parties and use drugs that a loser like me was nice enough to hook you up with.”

“Leave what I do outside of camp out of this! You know, as a counselor I’m not sure I like my kids hanging out with some loitering criminal all the damn time.”

“Not sure I like them hanging out with someone who acts like an overbearing, insufferable parent.”

“At least I have parents.”

Simultaneous gasps fill the room. 

The color drains from Steve’s face when he realizes the damage he’s done. He watches as Eddie seemingly deflates, shrinking himself down at the shoulders, and then sulking in place. A blank stare overcasts his eyes, lips desperately trying not to quiver while in front of an involuntary audience. 

“That was not cool,” Steve breathes. “I’m sorry.”

But Eddie is past the point of forgiveness. And caring. Steve’s already embarrassed the fuck out of him, so what’s Dignity at this point? Steve won. Whatever game he was playing.

“You’re right, Steve,” Eddie nods, bitterly. “You have everything I want. So why can’t you just give me this one thing?”

Steve really fucked up this time. He doesn’t even know why he even said that. It isn’t necessarily a brag that Steve has parents if they aren’t active in his life. Did he really want the last word so badly, he willingly let his anger steer the direction of the conversation? Sure, Eddie has backed off now, but the thick veil of suppressed tears did not make it worth it.

“Here,” Eddie quips as he chucks Dustin’s invention at Steve’s chest. “You win. You want a cookie for it?”

Before leaving the room, Eddie helps himself to one as well. Steve watches ashamed as Eddie storms away, not seeming to care who he bumps into on his way out. With the intention to make amends, Steve darts after Eddie, following him to the bathroom only to have the door slammed in his face.

“Eddie!” Steve knocks. “Listen, I’m sorry, okay? I thought I’d gotten over my anger issues and pettiness, so I don’t know why I said all that. It’s something I need to work on, for sure.”

No response. Steve tries again.

“You guys sound really good…” he musters. “I wish I had the courage to put myself out there like that.”

Steve gently taps the door with two fingers now. 

“Eddie?”

On the other side of the wall, Eddie is angrily wiping away his tears, upset at himself for letting someone who wears women’s hairspray and Tiger Beat cologne get under his skin. 

Giving up now, Steve sighs to himself and turns around to prop his back against the door. And in case Eddie decides to come back out, Steve decides to wait a while longer, reading the fortune from his fortune cookie in the meantime. 

“A journey soon begins, its prize reflected in another’s eyes. When what you see is what you lack, then selfless love will change you back.”

“What could that possibly mean?” Steve thinks to himself as he takes a bite from the cookie. 

And at the same time on the other side, Eddie also cracks open his cookie. A nice little dessert with some kind words are sure to make him feel better. He reads his fortune.

“A journey soon begins, its prize reflected in another’s eyes. When what you see is what you lack, then selfless love will change you back.”

“…in bed,” he adds with a chuckle.

Just then the ground begins to rumble. 

The sudden JOLT causes Eddie to drop his cookie and latch onto the sink for stability. Meanwhile, Former Cub Scout Steve who knows everything about Stop-Drop-and-Roll dives for the nearest piece of furniture, crawling underneath to protect himself from any debris that may fall onto him.

“EVERYONE GET DOWN!”

“JESUS CHRIST!” Eddie yells.

Hawkins doesn’t get many earthquakes. But according to the news, Roane County was due for a big one. This could well be it. 

But as fast as the earthquake happens, it fades away. And next thing Eddie knows, he’s taking deep breaths, gathering his composure before he swings open that door. 

“Shit — Harrington, are you okay?”

Steve scans the room, looking around for any debris that may block his plight towards safety. 

“Yeah I’m fine, thanks Munson,” Steve gulps. He allows Eddie’s firm hand to hoist him up. “Just a bit shaken up. Are you okay?”

Eddie nods his head rapidly. “I’m fine too,” he insists. “I’m just worried about everyone else.”

Running back over to the garage now, a frantic Steve and Eddie call out to their friends to make sure they’re okay. But when they arrive, they’re shocked to see everyone conversing, laughing, and ordering pizza, almost as if nothing had ever happened.

Steve coughs to make his presence known. “Did you guys feel that?”

Everyone turns to them.

“Feel what?” Dustin inquires.

“There was an earthquake.”

“No, there wasn’t?” Robin cocks an eyebrow.

“Yes there was!” Eddie insists in agreement with Steve.

“Are you sure?” “An earthquake?”

“There wasn’t an earthquake.”

“What earthquake?”

“A chicken bake?” Argyle questions, clearly high as shit.

“An earthquake,” Jonathan repeats for him.

“An Earth Cake?!”

“QUAKE!” Jonathan hollers. “EARTHQUAKE!”

“EARTHQUAKE?!” the startled stoner yelps.

“No no no!” everyone yells out, doing their best to contain Argyle’s panic. “No, no, no!”

———

“You’re an asshole, Steve Harrington. I wish I could hate you.”

Eddie winces as his neck partially kinks, due to the fact that Steve was too short-fused to get him a pillow for tonight.

At least the futon is comfortable. After flopping around like a fish out of water for a few minutes, Eddie finally feels completely relaxed. And as he flips through his mental catalog of Dream Scenarios, the aspiring rockstar begins to drift off to Dreamland, envisioning his guitar solo and jamming out with his favorite herd of sheep.

Meanwhile upstairs, Steve is too emotionally uncomfortable to hit the hay.

“Get a grip, Munson,” Steve grumbles, angry at the thought of the freeloader below him. “If you stopped thinking the world is out to get you, maybe you’d actually see some progress in your life.”

After one last fluffing of his pillow, Steve reaches into his drawer and pops a gummy into his mouth, bracing himself for more Camp Knowhere shenanigans that lie ahead and having to deal with the Freakazoid-With-a-Victim-Complex in the morning. 

12:00 MIDNIGHT

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ [insert creepy, grandfather clock noises here]

8:00 AM

Obnoxious, fluffy duvet covers stir Eddie awake.

Maybe Steve did come with some goodies after all.

Munson begins to execute his morning routine: a gangly-limbed stretch followed by an exaggerated bellow and blissful smacking of his lips.

BONK.

A lamp on the nightstand interrupts his ritual. It is then that Eddie realizes.

He’s in a bedroom. 

“What the—” Munson mutters.

Sitting up slowly now, Eddie takes a moment to assess the room around him.

Trophies and medals. Cologne and hair gel. A work desk with a basketball net over it, and a Tommy Hilfiger pop-up shop in the closet.

He’s in Steve’s room.

But where is Steve?

Curious about the time and day, Eddie instinctively goes to consult his watch that normally rests on his wrist.

It’s not there. 

Eddie then looks at his hands…his palms… Not a single blister, callous or hangnail. Those are not his hands.

“Those aren’t mine…” he thinks to himself.

Eddie then runs some stressed fingers through his hair, only to discover that its length is half of what it was when he fell asleep last night.

“That’s not mine either.”

Eddie shoots up immediately. When he finds himself standing, Eddie notices his food belly is gone, and that six pack abs have taken its place. Eddie then stares down at his feet, which are now exponentially larger. And hairier. And his thighs, now they’re a lot bulkier.

Suddenly Eddie’s hands explore his thighs, grazing his quads shortly before going to grope the two plump mounds of tissue behind him, both cheeks comparably twice the surface area of his palms!

“That’s DEFINITELY not mine.”

Absolutely panicked now, Eddie releases his grip on the butt that isn’t his and dashes out the room.

It appears that he is somehow not in his body. And the only person in Loch Nora with a dump truck for an ass — that Eddie knows of — is Steve Harrington.

But if he's Steve, then where is Eddie’s body?

The couch.

Eddie bolts over to Steve’s living room in search of his corpse. And to his surprise, he does find himself there, the chest that was his – but not his – at the same time rising and depressing as he watches himself sleep. 

“Christ if that’s not Steve in there, then I’m dead,” Eddie thinks to himself. “And quite frankly, I don’t know which one is worse.” 

Eddie clears his throat.

"H-hello? Steve?”

Nothing.

“Steve?” Eddie attempts again. “Hey. Steve. It’s Eddie. Wake up!”

Nothing.

“This is an emergency, Steve. I need you to wake up now, please.”

He gets a good snore out of the entity. Completely frustrated now, Eddie does not hold back.

"This is alarming, Steve! WAKE UP!”

Eddie unearths the bottom half of Steve's…his… body by pushing the blanket aside. When he tugs at his legs, Presumably Steve retaliates, grabbing onto the arms of the sofa to keep him in place.

“EARTH. TO. KING. STEVE!” Eddie screams.

"Whaaat, dude?!" the host in Eddie’s body grumpily demands.

"Aha! So you are Steve!"

"Duh, who the fuck else?" It demands. "Are you still high?"

"If I was, then that would better explain this."

Steve must’ve really done too much last night. Because for a while there, the person who he assumed was Eddie sounded a heck of a lot like him.

"That’s fucking weird," Steve shakes his head, turning over to look at Eddie. "For a second there, you sounded a lot like m—AAAH OH MY GOD!"

Palms clasping his… (well, Eddie’s) mouth now, Steve can only gasp in horror.

"WHO are you?” he demands. “WHAT are you?"

"It's me! It's Eddie!" Eddie gulps. "I'm... I’M INSIDE OF YOU!”

There’s a pause.

“I don't like how I worded that,” he admits.

"Yeah, neither do I..." Steve agrees. Suddenly he squints. "Is that a zit on my forehead?"

He reaches to swat it but Eddie swats him away. Through Steve's gritted teeth, Eddie hisses,

"THAT'S what you're worried about right now? What in the sane hell is happening?!"

“This isn’t the first weird dream I’ve had after taking an edible,” Steve remarks.

“Harrington, this ISN’T a dream. Okay? This is real life.”

“Yeah, okay Munson,” Steve scoffs, finally hoisting himself off of the couch to pace around. “I know a dream when I’m in one. I just gotta… pinch myself or slap myself around and I’ll be awake.”

But Eddie wastes no time.

“OW!” Steve yelps. “You just pinched my nipple!”

“You mean my nipple?”

He does it again.

“OW! Quit it dude, that’s harassment.”

The two make their way over to a mirror in the living room. To test out the impossible, Steve raises his right hand. The mirror shows Eddie doing it. Eddie begins to touch his face. The mirror responds with Steve doing it. 

It’s the confirmation they were too in denial to come to terms with. They somehow switched bodies.

“Oh god, I’m…” Steve stammers. “Wow…”

“Oh…GOD!” Eddie shrieks. He inches closer to the mirror. “I’m like an off-brand George Michael!”

“HURTFUL—”

“Harrington!” Eddie exclaims, turning back around to face himself. “What was the last thing you remember from last night?”

“Uhh,” Steve stammers. “A-all I remember was us arguing during dinner time and going separate ways after. And then there was a big earthquake that everyone insists that they didn’t feel. And then…we all went to bed, and I forgot to get you a pillow.”

“It’s okay, I’m over it,” Eddie pants. “Way bigger issues than a pillow right now.”

“And now we’re here.”

The two frantically pace around the living room. How can something like this possibly happen?

"Okay,” Eddie exhales. “Yesterday we were here with everybody. All of us were seemingly having a good time until we got pretty into it. Then the earthquake happened, we went to bed, and woke up sober… but in different bodies. Is this like…a rare phenomenon…some kind of medical emergency?”

“I don’t know, dude,” Steve shrugs. “This has never happened to me before. There has to be a scientific explanation for this."

Suddenly their two brain cells click.

"Henderson," they utter in unison.

“It was probably Dustin’s Empathy science experiment,” Steve infers. “Although I'm not sure how a fortune cookie would take walking-in-another-person's-shoes so damn LITERAL."

"God, we’re cooked!” Eddie groans. “And we can’t tell anyone but our friends about it or else we’re REALLY gonna end up as test subjects!”

Eddie starts biting his new nails and frantically pacing back and forth. Meanwhile, Steve centers in on his breathing before emotionally responding to the situation in front of him.

“Okay…” Steve exhales. “Let me just gather my thoughts… You’re in my body and I’m in your body.”

“...Right,” Eddie nods, annoyed since they’d already established that. “Does it seem less scary now that you’ve said it out loud?”

“No,” Steve shakes his head.

“Alright, cool,” Eddie shrugs. “Just checking.”

They look at each other, absolutely petrified of the reality that has now sunk in. And before they seek any other forms of help, there was one more final thought the two needed to share alone… one O.O.M.F. (Other Older Male Friend) to another, in the comfort of Steve’s living room.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

[cue panicked guitar rift here 🎸⚡️]

“This is so not cool, man, this is SO not cool!”

Argyle, Jonathan, and Robin are the first ones at the scene. Along with Dustin, of course, who is now evidently spiraling. 

“I need some air,” Dustin sighs. “Oh my god oh my god oh my god.”

The scientist darts outside for a very reasonable and private mental breakdown. Meanwhile in his absence, everyone else attempts to get their Thinking Caps on.

“I mean…” Argyle pants. “It’s one thing to have a funky acid trip, it’s another to have an out-of-body experience…but this is…this is…”

“Freaky,” Jonathan finishes for him.

“It’s FREAKY!” Argyle agrees. “And it’s not like we can go to the cops, I mean, they'd never open their minds to something like this. They'd just ship us to the Kerley County KOOK HOUSE.”

“Or worse,” Eddie gulps. “The Lab.”

The room is drowned with frantic rambling once again as all the young adults talk over each other.

Will this be the new normal? A head-banging Steve and a preppy Eddie? It sounds like pure nightmare fuel. A disaster waiting to happen. And Dustin only programmed his fortune cookies for this… unintentionally. He didn’t program a way to undo it. 

Everyone is running out of ideas. That is until…

“Wait!” Robin exclaims. “What if you guys just…combined?”

The idea is met with retaliation.

“I beg your finest pardon?” “WE WHAT?!”

“Wait!” Eddie exclaims. “No, no, yeah! I get it. What if we… what if we just… RAN… into each other and the force will be great enough to switch us back?”

“Right! Right!” Steve frantically agrees. “Right, the greater the force, the greater the impact, and we’ll be back in our bodies in no time.”

Steve and Eddie are on opposite sides of the room before anyone else can register it. Kicking his foot around like a bull, Eddie warms himself up while Harrington takes deep breaths, grounding himself before the ordeal.

“Are they really about to…” Argyle begins.

“Sh.. sh..” Jonathan stops him.

“I really wanna see how this goes,” Robin adds.

“Okay,” Eddie huffs before he lets out a battle cry. “EN GUARDE!”

“OH GOD!” Steve shrieks.

“AHHHHHH!” 

“AHHHHHH!”

SMACK! PLOP!

Luckily the floor breaks their fall. The commotion grabs the attention of Dustin, who had just finished his meltdown. But at the sight of seeing his two friends attempt to combine, he could feel himself being launched into yet another one. 

“Okay,” Dustin sighs as he walks back in. “What the hell?!”

———

“Language, Dusty!”

The next brainiac to consult on the list is Suzie, Dustin’s girlfriend. Spawning from the Mormon Capital of the world (Salt Lake City, Utah), Little Miss Beauty and Brains is known to have a solution for just about anything. Until now, it seems.

 “I’m sorry for the language, Suzie. I’m just freaking out,” Dustin blubbers. “It’s not every day my best friends switch bodies and I have no idea how to change them back.”

“So let me get this straight…” Suzie sighs. “Steve is inside of Eddie, and Eddie is inside of Steve.”

“Okay, can we please stop wording it like that?!” Eddie pleads.

“Sorry, Steve.”

“I’M EDDIE!”

“Jiminy Cricket, this is so confusing.”

And what a sight for confused eyes it also is.  But as painful as it is to admit, it’s interesting watching “Steve Harrington” stomp at the ground muttering “Jesus H. Christ!” while “Eddie Munson” nitpicks everything about his hair in the mirror.

“Okay, let’s start from the beginning,” Suzie suggests. “How did this start? What did you use for your ingredients, Dusty Bun?”

“Passionfruit and cohosh,” Dustin answers firmly. “Well-known, NATURAL stimulants of oxytocin.”

“And you said they ate the cookies containing these ingredients?”

“Yes, and they got the same fortune which I programmed for them to feel empathy for each other when it happens. Their bodies should’ve released an immense amount of oxytocin. Instead, they uh well, they switched bodies.”

“Dusty Bun… there is no such thing as an oral oxytocin!”

“Why not?” Steve questions.

“Because it would just get destroyed in the GI tract,” Suzie explains. “Meaning there wouldn’t be any ‘stimulants’ to absorb into the bloodstream.”

“Meaning oxytocin would’ve never been released in the first place,” Eddie’s breath hitches.

“It’s also notorious for being unable to cross the blood-brain barrier,” Suzie adds. “Something always happens before it’s able to. This may as well be that something.”

“But… if it gets destroyed in the stomach…” Dustin wonders. “Then how the hell did Steve and Eddie still end up switching bodies?”

Suzie shoots Dustin a dirty look.

“How the heck…” he corrects himself.

Suzie softens up immediately. “I don’t know. Our Heavenly Father works in mysterious ways. This may have happened for a reason. I’m not sure what it is yet, but I’m sure it serves a Divine purpose.”

“Well, can it SERVE a little faster?” Eddie grumbles. “I’ve got a Show and Tell to practice for and Harrington’s got children to babysit. We obviously can’t do that for each other. People are going to think we’ve gone crazy.”

Suddenly a light bulb goes off in his head.

“Wait. Henderson! Give us a couple more cookies. Maybe if we get the same fortune again, we’ll switch back!”

“NO! No more cookies!” Steve butts in. “Who’s to say you won’t end up inside another person whose body you didn’t wanna be in?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Okay…” Dustin stops him, disgusted at the fact. “Enough.”

“Dustin is right,” Suzie nods. “Enough arguing for now, and no more fortune cookies with matching fortunes until we can find out what’s wrong!”

The boys watch as Suzie walks back towards her desk and returns with some papers and pencils.

“Here. My homework for you two is to write down every little detail there is to know about each other. This includes your day-to-day, your hobbies, and even habits. No one can know what is really going on behind the scenes.”

“Whoa whoa whoa, wait,” Eddie shakes his head. “I don’t like what you’re implying. We don’t have to… live life as each other… do we?!”

“In the meantime, yes. You do.” Suzie confirms. “And it will be uncomfortable, I’m not going to lie. But what else can we do?”

“Uh, go through all of Dustin’s fortune cookies until we find a pair so Steve and I can ingest THOSE!” Eddie points out.

“Yeah, and there goes BOTH my Show and Tell items!” Dustin hollers.

“Dusty, don’t worry,” Suzie speaks again. “You will get to showcase your friends and fortune cookies at Show and Tell. I’ll be doing my own research to ensure that this happens. This includes talking to some monks, priests, and rabbis. We WILL get to the bottom of this.”

The three leave Suzie’s cabin feeling absolutely defeated. 

Of course this would happen the summer Steve finally got his hair under control. And of course this would happen the moment Eddie has a potential record deal at the palm of his hands. Any other circumstance would have been okay, despite the freakiness factor. This was just shit timing if they ever did see it.

And if Suzie can’t fix it, they’re screwed.

When they get far enough away from the girls' cabins, Steve excuses himself to the nearest water fountain. In contrast, Eddie shows himself to the closest Porta-Potty, the safest place for him to have a conversation he wouldn’t be caught dead having.

“Hey God,” Eddie grumbles. “Me again.”

———

Adapting to each other’s lives certainly wasn’t easy.

It started with switching cars.

Steve’s BMW has sensitive brakes. Eddie’s beloved van, Halen, on the other hand requires more force, more aggression, something Eddie believed Steve would bust his toe doing.

And Eddie can only hope that when Steve is running around town as him, he doesn’t embarrass him all too much. He’s already not off to a good start, with a stupid Thundercats t-shirt on and his hair up in a bun.

“And when you’re outside with the kiddos, make sure they wear sunscreen,” Steve advises him. “You're a camp counselor, after all.”

“Got it.”

“And that an epipen is with you at all times,” Steve adds. “Some of the kids have bee and nut allergies and those reactions can be lethal.”

Make sure this. Make sure that. It’s odd for Eddie to be hearing it all in his own voice. Has Steve always been this annoying?

Eventually Eddie gets tired of it and consults his Walkman, blasting “Take Me Away” through his headphones to drown out Steve’s rambling. Rambling on and on and on and on… on and on and on and on….

“Eddie!” Steve shouts. “Are you listening?”

“Don’t wanna grow up I wanna get out,” Eddie sings. “HEY! Take me away.”

Eddie was listening. In fact he listens and pays attention more than Steve knows. He just doesn’t want to give him that satisfaction.

“I’m gonna get you a real job,” Steve says to Eddie.

“A real job?” Eddie tuts. “My job is real. I sell real drugs and bring in real money to help my Uncle afford our really real rent.”

“But I’m not gonna be the one doing it.”

“Sure you are. You’re me.”

“Munson, no!”

“Harrington, yes.”

“I’M NOT SELLING KETAMINE TO MINORS, EDDIE.”

“Aw. But you fit the stereotype,” Eddie smirks, rather cheekily. “Now chop chop, Rick’s expecting royalties on said sales.”

“Maybe I can land you a hospitality job. Or maybe a front desk job. Something that comes with benefits. Something practical.”

“A Munson with a normal job in Hawkins?” Eddie can’t believe his ears. “Yeah, good luck with that.”

Perhaps there is a silver lining in all of this. 

For the average Hawkins resident, getting a job is no issue. It was never a choice for Eddie. Given his father’s less-than-cookie-cutter reputation – and Eddie being an involuntary extension of him – he couldn’t believe Steve couldn’t grasp that getting a conventional job is hard. And Eddie always thought Harrington needed some humbling. This is the perfect scenario for it.

“Take your feet off your dash,” Steve grumbles. “Steve Harrington doesn’t do that.”

“AyAy, Captain.”

“And stop head-banging in my body, will ya?” Steve begs. “You’ll break a sweat and un-pomade my hair.”

“God, you’re so anal about everything, Steve!” Eddie scoffs. “I feel sorry for those kids, I really do.”

If Eddie’s going to be walking around in Steve’s body, he at least wanted to relax first. But even that was impossible, given that Steve is a talker and alleged goodie-two-shoes-who-discovered-empathy-on-drugs-and-that’s-all-he-preaches-now (with the rules of a mother whose son was allergic to everything but water).

The car ride is more tense and quiet as the two approach Knowhere. Eddie is quick to scurry out when Steve approaches the drop-off curb, a little speech already prepared from the first nerve Harrington managed to get on in the morning.

“Loosen up that manbun,” Eddie commands once he’s out of the car. “You look like the Buddha went thrifting in Chicago. You also need to unclench your asscheeks a bit more if you wanna be me. And to put more fiber in your diet. How’s that for advice?”

SLAM! goes the door. Steve normally would’ve been pissed, but since he’s driving Halen, he’s lenient about it. So he watches Eddie walk away, in a stride that looks like he's constantly got a wedgie, over to the camp and towards the kids he is to watch until Show and Tell Day.

“WEAR SUNSCREEN!” Steve hisses, one last time. “…I don’t play about my skin.”

———

“Hey, Steve!” a group of campers greet Eddie as he makes his way into Knowhere.

God, this is so weird.

“Hey…kiddos?” Eddie greets them in return.

“We’re gonna go diving in the lake, just letting you know.”

“Thanks for the invite,” Eddie tuts. “Sounds like a lot of fun. Just uh, wear sunscreen.”

“Well, we try to invite you but you never wanna come with us.”

“Says who?” Eddie demands. “It’s summer, everyone goes to the lake.”

“Everyone but you,” a kid points out. “You turn us down every time.”

“I do?”

“All the time,” another kid confirms. “You say it ruins your hair.”

"I was...joking," is all Eddie can come up with.

"Really? Because it doesn't sound like you were," another child counters. "You already don't like that the UV rays have the potential to damage your hair cuticles, which aids in your fear of dryness and breakage. Furthermore, swimming in a lake filled with miscellaneous, unidentified bacterium is another concern, apart from the warm water having the potential to dry your hair out even more. Also, at windy temperatures of about 80 degrees, typical for a Hawkins summer, your hair when damp will start to frizz. Which is where your pomade and Farrah Fawcett spray come in handy. And on summer days, you give your hair 32 hours before the next hair wash rotation, to which the cycle starts again. We know the drill, Steve. You've explained it multiple times. And we get it now that you don’t like the lake."

Even the kids think Harrington's insufferable. Eddie can only shake his head in disbelief.

"I'm not who I was a day ago," Eddie shrugs. "...literally."

"Huh?"

"You gonna let me join or what?"

Suddenly, the kids’ eyes begin to light up. Steve Harrington joining them at the lake? It was going to be the most fun day they’ve ever had!

"Sure!" the kids cheer excitedly. "Al-right! Steve is joining our party!"

Eddie smiles to himself, proud of the reaction he got from the eager children. Excited cheers? Smiling faces? Now THAT is how you Camp Counsel.

And now that Eddie thinks about it, he realizes something. He’s spent most of his youth in survival mode that he never got to let loose and have fun. And while he has Steve’s body and physical activity levels, he is certainly NOT about to let that go to waste. Pomade? Eddie thinks to himself. Meet Trash Can.

“Hey guys! Wait for me!” Eddie calls after the campers. “CANNONBALL!"

Meanwhile Steve sets off to find Eddie a job.

A real job.

He tries Hawkins Mart. The roller rink. The movie theater. The coffee shops. Something that involved social interaction and hard work. 

"Hi there," Steve grins politely. "I'm Eddie Munson, and I'd like to apply for a job."

But Hawkins is anything but receptive to it.

"No."

"Nope."

"Sorry."

"Munson, eh? You related to Al Munson?"

"NO!"

Apparently misdemeanors and run-ins with the law make it impossible to land a good gig. It was no wonder now why Eddie stayed where he was comfortable.

Though, it's unconventional.

Steve is just about to lose hope when those looking for help didn't even want him.

But he wasn’t giving up. There has to be something Steve can do to increase Eddie's chances of landing a good job.

Just then, he realizes. 

Maybe it’s not Eddie’s past, but his demeanor. The way he carries himself. If he didn’t dress like a vessel for Satan every single day, this conservative town would probably take him more seriously.

It's one of life's twisted games. Steve didn’t make the rules. And he sure as hell can't change it. 

But there is one thing he can help Eddie do. He can help Eddie play the game. Master it.

And that’s when Steve sees the scissors.

———

So you can say sunscreen is the least of everyone’s worries.

“Jesus Chr— what did you do to my hair?!”

“What did you do to MINE?!”

“I had to let her breathe man,” Eddie explains. “God, Harrington. No wonder you’re always in a mood. Holding your hair up with so much gel, MY HEAD FELT HEAVIER THAN A BOWLING BALL.”

“Oh yeah?” Steve challenges him. “Well your hair was so greasy, I could’ve pat it down with a paper towel like it’s PIZZA.”

The two are at it again, reaching at each other’s hair and then swatting each other away like flies. Suddenly Robin butts into the quarrel, emerging from the kitchen with amusement spread all across her face. 

“Oh…my…god…” she says.

Steve and Eddie simultaneously stop their bickering and pan their gazes over to her. Unable to contain her laughter, Robin releases a hearty chuckle in front of them.

“Holy shit, this is the greatest thing since disposable cameras,” Robin tsks. “On that note, let me go get mine.”

“NO!” both Steve and Eddie refuse.

“This is so humiliating!” Steve whines. “I look like someone literally mopped the floor with me!” 

“You're embarrassed?!” Eddie exclaims as he points to his own, original body. “Whose Peepaw died?! Why am I wearing a grandpa sweater sourced from the crusty back bins of Goodwill?!”

"I thought it'd be fitting attire for your library job that I got you."

"You got me a job at the LIBRARY?!” Eddie shrieks. “Out of all places?"

"No other place would hire you!"

"Can’t say I didn’t warn ya."

“And why does my hair LOOK LIKE THAT?!” Steve demands. “You went into the lake with the kids, didn’t you? DIDN’T YOU?!”

Eddie shakes his head at him, baffled. “God forbid, I – the camp counselor — do camp counselor things! I did exactly what you told me to do.”

“WHERE DID I SAY YOU COULD MESS UP MY HAIR?”

Steve takes a moment to mourn his glorious mane. Meanwhile, Eddie starts brainstorming how he’s going to rob a high end salon for all their hair growth serums. 

Just then, Robin reemerges from the shadows with her camera, panning it directly at the two of them, as if she were some eager journalist fighting for her spot on the front page of National Geographic.

“Say cheese, freaks!”

———

Eddie was having a hard time being Steve.

Being Hawkins’ most desirable male apart from Billy Hargrove was harder than he thought. Because while women worshiped the ground Steve walked on, it was hard for flight-risk teens to take the Pretty Boy seriously.

“Christopher!” Eddie hisses. “I told you to stop domesticating the raccoons, you little shit.”

Living in the trailer park, Eddie’s no stranger to those feral, yet adorable, beady-eyed beauties. And while they were cute, holding your hand, refurbishing your trash, and performing for crackers, there was an unspoken agreement when it came to those kinds of animals: you are to never take them in.

“But it’s for research!” Christopher pleads.

“I wouldn’t care if it was for the Nobel Peace Prize,” Eddie scolds him. He places his angry hands frustratedly on his hips. “Those things can be rabid, violent, and aggressive when you least expect it. Trust me on this. Raccoons are better left alone in the wild. They can’t live with people like us.”

A low, miserable groan furls at the base of the boy’s belly. He kicks at the dirt beneath him.

“Ugh, you ruin all the fun, Steve,” Christopher whines. “Eddie Munson would never treat us like this.”

That statement just about nipped Eddie in the soul. Was this what being a buzzkill is like? Little did Christopher know that it’s actually Eddie scolding him. And that the kids were not only hurting Steve’s feelings but his as well. 

Meanwhile Steve wasn’t having a grand time being Eddie either.

“HEY! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING BOY?!”

He almost died. Quite literally. And if it hadn’t been for Wayne launching himself across the room to stop it from happening, the odds of he and Eddie ever switching back would’ve gone from unlikely to zero.

“What?!” Steve demands.

“What do you mean, what?!” Wayne demands. “You eat that thing you’re going to wound up in the hospital! Again!”

Steve’s eyes trail down to the delicious shrimp tacos he had bought for takeout from Estrella’s. 

Eddie is deathly allergic to shellfish. And with just a single bite of that shrimp taco, he would be in the back of an ambulance with hives and a closed-up throat. And judging by the fact that Eddie and his uncle didn’t necessarily bring home the ‘big bucks’, an invoice from Hawkins Memorial Hospital wouldn’t be an ideal situation to put him through.

“We’re already two months behind on rent,” Wayne grumbles. “You eat those tacos, kick the bucket, and rack up them bills, I may as well join ya six feet under.”

No tacos, no time and a half at work, and no solution to the problem at hand. No wonder Eddie was always an angsty mess. It definitely showcases in those lyrics too.

———

“Take me away, away, away, AWAY”

A killer guitar solo rips through the Harrington garage as Eddie strums away at the chords. 

In hindsight, it looks like Steve is the rockstar. But the feral energy is unmistakably Munson’s, to which Dustin can’t help but get lost in, dancing along as a one-man-mosh-pit to the brilliance of Corroded Coffin’s discography.

“Same old stuff, it never ends.”

“The song sounds so cool hearing it in Steve’s voice,” Dustin beams. “And I can’t believe you put him in a crop top.”

“It’s like dressing up a Barbie doll,” Eddie jokes as he puts his guitar away. He then turns his torso towards Henderson’s field of view. “Look… Harrington’s an innie.”

Dustin cackles at the sight.

“Hahaha, no way!” he cheers. “I’m an outie.”

“Me too.”

The garage lets out an insulated hum as Steve strides in with the tacos. He cocks an eyebrow, confused at the sight of Dustin and Corroded Coffin comparing navels with each other. 

“What did I just walk into?”

Eddie’s eyes light up at the sight of Steve.

“Ooh, is that Estrella’s I smell?” he inquires.

“All yours,” Steve grumbles. “Found out today that I can’t have shellfish.”

Eddie smirks at the realization.

“But I can,” he sings. “Because I’m Steve Harrington.”

Eddie rushes over to Steve to acquire the food. Steve goes over to greet the rest of the boys and to issue Dustin a long-awaited high five.

“Mmm…” Eddie coos. “Take a good look at these washboard abs, Innie. They’ll be gone for as long as I can have these tacos.”

Steve makes a face. “I can’t believe you put me in a crop top.”

“I can’t believe you cut my hair,” Eddie shrugs.

But he seems to have gotten over the fact. Hair will grow back. There were larger issues at hand today. Like how exactly Eddie is going to perform with Corroded Coffin at Show and Tell.

“Listen,” Eddie wipes his mouth. “Harrington. I have a favor. If worse comes to worst and we can’t switch back on time, I need you to perform as me for Show and Tell.”

“And why exactly would I do that?”

“Because it’s our one shot to make it big.”

“Again, why would I do that?”

“Because you love me,” Eddie sneers.

But his face drops when Steve doesn’t return the energy. 

Nowhere in the fine print did it say ‘Steve Owes Eddie’. So why would Steve bother? It’s a lot for Eddie to ask of someone he’s openly mocked for years. But now that he needs something, suddenly Steve is the coolest person in the world? It doesn’t work like that. 

“Hey…” Eddie begins. “I know you don’t like me, okay? Whatever animosity you have towards me, I hope we can move on from it one day.” 

Steve refuses to meet Eddie’s eyes.

“If you do this for me, I’ll be eternally grateful,” Munson adds. “And maybe just maybe — when Corroded Coffin makes it big and we start touring around the world — I’ll be out of your hair forever. Literally.”

“Seems transactional.” 

It leaves a bad taste in Eddie’s mouth. It was always ‘Terms and Conditions’ with Harrington. Never has he ever considered the other person’s feelings. Never has he ever done anything out of the goodness of his heart. It was always, “What do I get out of it?”. Always some sort of fucked up business move. Just like his father.

“You view everything as a transaction, don’t you?” Eddie scoffs. 

“Why would I do favors for someone who’s done nothing but disrespect me? I value my time and energy. I’m not wasting it on you.” 

“But you can waste it on being a camp counselor, right? The kids aren’t so hot about you anyways, so I don’t know why you keep showing up.”

“Because Dustin is there. Because I’m a good friend. You wouldn’t know sacrifice and loyalty if it hit you in the face.”

“Ah, there it is. The performative activism in plain sight. We all know that this is about Dustin. AAAAlways been that way.”

“Of course my summer is about Dustin,” Steve argues. “You’ve had him all year. Spending every second with him and breathing down his neck.”

“I’M the one spending too much time with him?” Eddie scoffs. “Breathing down his neck?! You’re the one who got a gig to be closer to him.”

“Does it register with you that it’s because I DON’T SEE HIM MUCH AT ALL ANYMORE?” Steve shouts. “He’s always at your stupid D&D games and never wants to hang out with me! You’re taking the spotlight, like you always seem to do!”

“That’s IT!” Dustin barks. “I have HAD it with you two fighting all the time.”

Finally, it’s quiet. And normally the two would be stoked about it, but seeing Dustin on the brink of tears does not make the last word worthwhile at all.

“Not even a life-changing catastrophe will make you guys stop! You’re in each other’s bodies for Christ’s sake and still going at it like cats and dogs.”

Dustin starts back towards the house, kicking at the chords beneath his feet that are blocking his dramatic exit. All Dustin has ever wanted from those two – and quite literally every adult in his life – was co-existence. A notion so easy, yet no one has ever been able to give him that. Not even with his damn empathy cookies.

“It all makes me feel like a failure. Locking myself in my cabin for six weeks to have my fortune cookies yield THESE results? My last year at camp too.”

“Dustin–”

“And if you guys keep this up, then I don’t wanna spend the rest of my summer with either of you. How’s that for compromise?”

“Hey. Buddy…” Steve starts again.

“Henderson!” Eddie calls at the same time.

But it’s already too late. Off Dustin goes, Camp Nowhere notebook in his arms, walkie in his pocket, and car keys jingling furiously around his fingers. Nothing worth displaying at Show and Tell if the grown ups were going to act younger than the campers there. And if Dustin’s anger wasn’t already prominent, the way he backs out of Steve’s driveway is a dead giveaway, judging by the screeching tires and the pop of the engine as he steps on the gas.

“Damn,” Jeff comments. “Taco ‘bout a tough crowd…”

Ba-dum-tss! the drum sounds.

“GARETH!” Steve and Eddie growl.

"Scott Clarke."

Hearing that name nearly gives Eddie whiplash. Especially because it came out of Steve’s mouth.

"Huh?"

Steve repeats himself. "Scott Clarke? Our middle school science teacher?”

Steve is perched at the bottom of the stairs, wading aimlessly around in guilt. Eddie watches as he props himself against the rails of his fancy staircase, almost as if to serenade him with an apology song of sorts. 

"When we were kids, he headed the Hawkins Middle AV Club,” Steve recalls. “Nancy was in it, and so was Mike and so was Sinclair, Baby Byers, and Dustin.”

“Go on…”

“Well…whenever they ran into trouble, Mr. Clarke was always there to help,” Harrington shrugs. “Always been very personable, non-judgmental, and most of all, he’s knowledgeable.”

“Okay…”

 “And with his degree from MIT, he’d be the one most likely able to get us out of this mess,” Steve emphasizes. “Just in time for Show and Tell.”

“What makes you think he’d want to help former students like us?” Eddie demands. “We weren’t in the AV club or anything.”

“Because he cares, Eddie. Current students or not.”

There’s a pause.

“Remember that one time you came into homeroom with a black eye?” Steve reflects. “And Clarke made you stay after class so he could ask if everything was okay at home?”

Attempting to mask the mushy feelings underneath, Eddie simply shrugs. Steve persists.

“Other teachers would have assumed you got in a fight or something. Even if that was the case, none of them cared to look further into it. No one except Mr. Clarke.” 

“Yeah,” Eddie admits, choked up now. “Yeah, I almost forgot about that.”

It actually was a fight that happened that day. Some random kid at school. But there were also times Eddie has gotten in scuffles with his father, typically when Al Munson stumbled home too drunk for his own good and tried laying a hand on either him or Uncle Wayne. And Mr. Clarke, having grown up with Al, knew what he was capable of. Meaning it was his unspoken civil duty to look out for (Munson) Junior.

“And,” Harrington sighs. “I’m kinda really desperate here. I want you to be able to perform at Dustin’s Show and Tell. You and the band have a shot at this. I wholeheartedly believe that. And I don’t have much faith in my ability to perform as you. Neither does Dustin, it seems.”

“Steve…” Eddie begins. 

“And sure, I was upset about not being Henderson’s first choice for a while,” Steve rambles. “But I’ll be okay. The kids can learn survival skills another time. ”

Grateful tears start to form in Eddie’s eyes. He’s never seen this side of Steve before. 

“My hopes and dreams don’t depend on Show and Tell,” Steve mumbles. “And if it means a producer from Cardinal Records is going to be there, then getting Wayne and yourself out of debt does.”

Their eyes meet again.

“I can’t take that away from you.”

Suddenly the rocker feels his knees buckle.

It feels as if Eddie’s soul is about to leave his body. Or Steve’s in this sense. Struggling to keep his composure, the ever-so-rugged Eddie Munson clears his throat.

“…I didn’t think you paid attention to any of that, Steve.”

“I pay attention more than you think,” Steve counters. “And if my observations are right, Mr. Clarke might have the answer.”

Steve shrugs, dangling the keys to Eddie’s van around his fingers. He hula hoops them around as Eddie remains floored, pondering above him.

“Well?” says Steve. “You just gonna stand there and gawk, ‘Harrington’? Come on.”

Perhaps walking and gawking would be more productive. Without further hesitation, Eddie races down the steps and follows closely behind Steve before shutting the door to the house.

“Wipe your feet,” Steve commands as he unlocks the doors to Halen.

“What do you mean wipe my feet?” Eddie snaps. “It’s MY van!”

“Yeah, but I’m the one who’s been driving it,” Steve counters with a glare. “And I’m saying wipe your feet.”

Nonetheless, Eddie sighs and does as he’s told. But he’s not happy about it. 

Never in a million years did he think Steve Harrington would tell him how to run his own van. Nor did he think Harrington would actually end up being a good dude. Both were very humbling experiences. And while King Steve drives them off to Hawkins Middle, willingly blasting Metallica and doing his best to head-bang, Eddie crosses his arms and stares blankly out the passenger side window.

“I’m never eating anything Dustin makes me again.”

———

"So..." Eddie prompts. "Can you fix us?"’

“If it isn’t broken, then do not fix it,” Mr. Clarke advises. 

There was only so much that could be disclosed to their former teacher. Being an educator also meant being a mandated reporter, and it’s without a doubt government officials would bust down the doors of Camp Knowhere and run a freak raid on Dustin’s science experiment had they known the truth. Steve and Eddie had to gloss over practically everything.

“I appreciate and am honored to know you two trust me with your dilemma,” Mr. Clarke nods. “That being said, it is normal for gentlemen your age to go through an identity crisis after experimenting with recreational drugs. It will subside, but only if you don’t fight it.”

A decade can certainly change things. Steve and Eddie never expected their most logic-driven teacher to embrace his heart, dressed in a brown linen robe, as he calmly kept them on standby with soothing, meditative “Ommm”s while they spiraled into desperation in his ‘BACK TO (S)C(H)OOL’ classroom.

“But what is the science behind this?” Steve demands. “Is something happening in the…the… what did Suzie call it? The blood-brain barrier? Why would… Harrington and I both feel like we are living the life of the other person?”

“To question everything is to not know peace,” Mr. Clarke soothes them.

He’s saying this while criss-cross-apple-sauce on his desk, by the way.

“Sometimes, it is best to simply let things be,” the educator warns. “By going against the grain of the water, you are blocking the potential you can reach if you had been in a flow state.”

“Good God, you choose NOW to go on a spiritual retreat?!” Eddie hisses. “When we need science and your genius mind the most?!”

“If not now, then when?” Mr. Clarke mumbles. “If not you, then who?”

For the first time in his life, Eddie feels plagued with academic regret. He wishes he paid attention in Clarke’s class. Meanwhile Steve is considering having a word with his superintendent mother, because no way in hell is some barefoot, most-likely-vegan lunatic about to indoctrinate the future kids of America. 

“If not you… then who?” Clarke repeats. “If there's one thing I learned during my time in research… and mindful meditation…  it's that sometimes the answer is right in front of you. Or within."

Steve and Eddie look at each other.

"The world is full of obvious things," Mr. Clarke says. "...which nobody, by any chance, ever observes. Sherlock Holmes."

Accepting the absolute bust, Steve and Eddie storm out of the door and back down the stairs of their prepubescent alma mater. 

“Son of a bitch,” Eddie curses under his breath. “The damn hippies got to him before we did.”

As the two walk down the stairs, Steve sneaks a few quick glances Eddie’s way. Seeing him upset didn’t necessarily make him feel so hot. The answer is clear: they need to venture beyond a Mormon child and a middle school science teacher. They need to consult the big dogs. 

“We can go to the Indianapolis Science Center,” Steve suggests. “And maybe ask some people there. There’s also the university. If we flag down a professor from the physics or chemistry department, maybe they can offer us some insight. Or…”

“Just give it a rest, Steve,” Eddie surrenders.

“What?” Steve questions. “No! We’ve got to figure this out before Show and Tell. It’s in a couple days.”

“What’s a couple days?” Eddie demands. “We’ve been like this for nearly a week. What makes you think it won’t last another week? Or indefinitely.”

Eddie kicks at an empty carton of orange juice at his feet while Steve watches with an overwhelming sense of guilt. He didn’t want Eddie to give up. Not yet, at least.

“Hey I’m not going to let you blow this shot, Munson,” Steve demands firmly. “I know how much this means to you. This could finally be your ticket out of Hawkins. You guys were meant for the Big City.”

“No,” Eddie disagrees, absentmindedly. 

Eddie’s gaze veers off to the side, a sadness in his eyes so profound that Steve almost starts tearing up as well. 

“All… the answers… point…to no,” Eddie continues. “Can you imagine what the world would be like if everyone followed their dreams? We’d have no one doing the conventional jobs. It's not in my cards, I fear. Maybe I was always meant to stay in Hawkins, being everyone’s weed man and no one’s first choice.”

“Eddie…”

“But thanks for trying though, Harrington. Doesn’t go unnoticed.”

———

To be continued…

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[majorproblems77]

Sacred Realm updated which means im actually so excited to be making this omg

Hi there Sacred Realm fans! :D

It is I, the one who makes the analysis posts on various comics on the internet. (With permission course) Because I love doing them and they bring me joy.

If you are unaware of what Sacred Realm is, it's a Legend of Zelda AU about a new Link who gets a little medallion that makes him a badass, also it can hold the spirits of heroes from across the realms (Including my fave boy ever okay)

Before I begin, I'll get the important stuff done, This is done with permission from @zelda-the-sacred-realm, and all art from the comics belongs to the comic artist. Please do me a favour and go and check it out because it's a wonderful comic and extremely well-drawn and written.

Now, grab some popcorn, and a drink and please enjoy me rambling about a comic that I enjoy so much. :D

Lets begin!

First, some sass

Damn, possessed Link got a mouth on him. Low key I love him, he looks like he could go for round two like right now. Wouldn't be surprised if he went for the hero of time next.

My eyebrows shot up at this.

Time KNOW's

let me repeat that

TIME KNOWS. HE KNOWS WHATEVER IS IN THE MEDALLION CAUSING THIS.

(More on this later)

He knows he knows he knows he knows he knows

I can hear the mocking voice of Link while he is saying this. Time has experience with this particular entity before.

Okay, so here is when it gets interesting.

Possessed Link or this entity I suppose, referring to Time and in turn Hylians as 'Your Race' Tells me a couple of things.

This thing in the medallion isn't a Hylian spirit. So as much and as fun as a dark link theory is, I dont think it could be.

Time arguing that we're not perfect, again referring to Hylians sounds very much like an "I'm speaking with a god speech"

I present my theory on what is in the medallion.

An extra spirit, a god of some description, from the spirit realm. Out to get revenge on Hylians.

Time has been to the spirit realm, in his games. (I am under the assumption that those still occur in this canon please do correct me if I'm wrong here.)

I'm convinced that this thing in the medallion is a deity of some kind because of the eye colour. I can't get over it.

This style of blue, with no pupils.

We've seen it before.

On Hylia.

From Chapter 2 fate PT2

And here is the first time we see it on Link for comparison, With Sky's alongside him for comparison for what Hylian eyes look like.

From Chapter 2 Fate PT3

The colour isn't exact so it can't be Hylia herself I dont think, but, i believe that there is a spirit trying to escape the sacred realm and is using Link to do it.

Okay, enough of my conspiracy theories moving on!

Link you gotta wake up!

Sky thinks so, I love the coloured speech bubble, what a good idea.

OH BOY I LOVE THESE PANELS

You know those scenes in video games when you're fighting off something that's trying to possess you and you have that ominous-sounding echo that seems to reverberate through your head. But is also muffled at the same time?

(If I find a game example I'll link it)

This. Put that noise you think off over this.

KICK ITS BUTT LINK GET IT, GET BACK IN HERE.

These five panels tell so much when it comes to how much effort Link has to go through to fight off the medallion possession. I wonder if its going to be easier or harder for him to fight it off as he gains spirits in the medallion.

You can really feel his struggle and I just love it. The visual storytelling is incredible in this comic and I will fan girl about it all day because I just love it so much

I'm thinking he says this to gauge just how bad this possession is. time seems like the guy who would, especially as he already seems to know what this is.

I wonder if he really is the hero of realms?

Yes, Time. Yes, he is.

The face he dosent remember any time he's possessed by the medallion is a little worrying.

Makes me think that could be used later.

Like, Link dosent remember fighting this ice comet now. What if he fights an enemy while possessed, breaks the possession then has to relearn how to defeat it because as possessed link he's not gained any information.

Man Link is a cinnamon roll sometimes and I love him dearly okay.

Alrighty, thats me finished with my rambling. Thank you so much for sticking with me through this! And thanks again to @zelda-the-sacred-realm for the permission to do these i really appreciate it.

Please please go and check out the rest of the comic if you haven't it's amazing :D

Thats me finished for this chapter, so I'll be headed out!

Hope you have a wonderful day! :D

[cherrybloosomgirl29]

Full House AU Part 3: Shopping

cover image by: @sunfloweraroace

Summary: Logan has to leave town for a mutant summit; he trusts Wade to keep up with the girls training. Wade has a different idea of fun… (Based on results from the poll)

A/N: This has been my fave idea so far! I hope ya’ll enjoy. I'm probably gonna have another poll for the next idea. From here on out this will be a weekly series that will be posted each Monday. If you have any ideas for future chapters or storylines please comment!

“Wade, I'm trusting you to do this while I’m gone at the summit, okay?”

Logan was just about to leave for a summit on mutant rights. He is attending as moral support for his fellow X-Men, Jean and Storm. They will be giving a speech on mutant rights and activism in front of thousands of guests.

”I got it Lo.’ Give the girls a training session and help them study for their combat tests,” Wade says while helping his husband pack.

”Okay, but no funny business okay? Take them to the danger room, help them with their homework, make them dinner, and then tell them to go to bed,” Logan says with a serious look on his face. He knew Wade tended to get a little off track when hanging out with the girls.

“Yes sir,” Wade says while giving Logan an exaggerated military salute.

A few hours later Logan is on his way to Los Angeles for the summit, while Wade and Logan’s four foster daughters, Rogue, Kitty, Jubilee, and Laura, have just arrived home from school. Wade gives each of his daughters a kiss on the forehead as they come in.

“How was school girls? Were you and Remy caught sneaking out of class again? Yeah, I heard about that” He says with a smirk while looking at Rogue.

”No but Remy asked Rogue to go homecoming with him!” Kitty squeals.

“Yeah, he painted a whole bouquet of roses black just for her!” Jubilee gushes; happy for her sister.

Laura smirks clearly, finding her usually cool goth older sister blushing.

Wade smiles. He is proud of all the progress Rogue has made since she was welcomed into his and Logan’s home. Just a short while ago Rogue was too scared to touch a guy much less date him; now she was going to a school dance.

”Well I’m happy for you Peanut. However, we have a lot of work to do. We gotta train in the danger room for a bit then get working on some schoolwork.” He tries his best to exude the serious aura that makes the girls heed Logan’s commands.

“AWWWW why?” Jubilee pouts, “I was gonna play my new game.”

“I was gonna listen to the new Ethel Cain album.” Rogue sighs disappointed.

Laura motions to a stack of comics in her hand indicating she found reading the new releases more important than training at the moment.

”I was gonna force Rogue to come with me to the boutique to pick out her homecoming dress.” Kitty says while looking down at the ground.

That… that gave Wade an idea. No. He promised Logan he would help the girls get their tasks done.

”None of your usual funny business,” he thought to himself.

An hour later the girls were hard at work in the danger room. Rogue was using her super strength to rescue Jubilee from a crumbled building in the simulation while Kitty was using her phasing ability to rescue Laura from a prison cell.

After they have completed the challenge, Wade tells the girls to take a break.

”You’d look stunning in an emerald green dress.”

“Or maybe with a little tiara to match?”

”You should wear heels!”

Suddenly the talk of the girls about Rogue’s homecoming outfit becomes overwhelming as all the girls are talking over each other at once.

”All right! All right!” Wade raises his voice so the girls can hear him over their chatter.

”Okay, I know you girls are very excited about Rogue’s plans. And, I know you are not gonna be able to settle down and work on school assignments until Rogue gets her dressed. Soooooooooo we are going on a family shopping trip.” Wade was trying to justify his actions to himself. He secretly just wanted to spoil his daughters and get them all pretty outfits to wear.

The girls all jump in excitement. Even though Laura wouldn’t be able to attend homecoming being too young, she still wanted to see her sister look all pretty.

“And ALL of you are getting something pretty and badass to wear. You don’t need dates to have fun at a dance. Any guy or girl would be lucky to have a night out with you.” Wade says visibly excited about being able to spoil his daughters.

About half an hour later they arrive at a boutique that sells formal dresses.

”Alright! We are not gonna be looking at price tags today girls, pick out whatever makes you feel beautiful.” Wade says giving the girls free reign over the store.

”And you are gonna be my little helper!” Wade says, looking at Laura. “You’re gonna use that brutally honest side that you got from your father and make sure your sisters pick out the outfit that suits them best.”

Laura smiles at Wade ready to help her sister.

Rogue was up first. Her three top choices were a black skin-tight satin dress paired with black formal gloves, a short dark green velvet dress with a corset top, and a long dark purple dress that had a high waistline and a puffy skirt.

After a harsh judgment from Laura, she decided on the green one ultimately. She paired the dress with black platform heels and black formal gloves.

Kitty was stuck between choosing a short satin pink dress and a long tight light blue dress. The grossed-out expression on Laura’s face alerts her immediately that the blue dress is not the one for her.

Jubilee is immediately drawn to a fancy yellow jumpsuit that suits her unique style. Luckily, Laura loves it as well.

After Wade pays for the girls’ outfits, he stares at the receipt in shock.

Logan was gonna kill him. Maybe worse considering he can’t actually die. He was sure whatever Logan was gonna do once he saw how much money he spent was way worse than death.

The next night Logan came home from his summit. When he got home he immediately went looking for his husband

“Wade. I saw the charge on my credit card. A THOUSAND DOLLARS?! FOR WHAT???”

Wade looks down sheepishly. “I just wanted to help Rogue feel more confident.”

Logan raises his eyebrow at him. “Did you at least train with them?”

Wade nods “Oh yes I did! They were much more productive after getting them the dresses! And… I actually spent one thousand and five dollars.” He says while pulling out a coffee mug with words “World’s Best Husband” on it.

Logan takes the mug and lets out a small smile. “Okay… I guess your way works too sometimes. I don’t always have to be so strict on the girls.”

”Well if it wasn’t for you we would never get anything done. I would have drained our bank account ages ago.”

The girls watch their dads interact and sigh. They complement each other perfectly.

[vtoriacore]

✧ all eyes on you

note: this gotta be my fave vil piece ive ever written god damn i think this is me at my peak with writing. ill never write so well again and that sucks 💀 this is like 2.4k words and i swear half of it is vils outfit description /j someone also tell me why this is becoming a vil cantered blog LMAO

warning: slightly suggestive? bit of kissing at the end but nothing explicit! some jealousy that could be interpreted as slightly yandere/toxic but not really. gn!reader

synopsis: i cannot be bothered coming up with something elaborate after writing this. -> you're in a club. you dance w a random person. vil sees you. lights camera action bestie, the stage is yours to share and exit to the very end.

reblogs much appreciated, mwah 💞💓

He's already had too much Hennessy, he knew it. But looking at you through his translucent, violet sun glasses (perfectly matching his alluring eyes) he couldn't help but want to drink you in even more. It was no surprise you were here, in the same damn exclusive club as him, dancing with some nobody - no chemistry, no feelings attached.

He gripped the glass tighter, sharp lavender nails digging into his palm enough to leave marks. The sight was nothing short of infuriating, and he wanted to do nothing more but to rip you away from the leech vying for your attention when it should only be on him. Slamming the drink onto the table with a low growl, he stood up, all eyes immediately on him.

And why wouldn't they be? As always, he was the best dressed on the scene - the rich lilac, laced, mini slip-dress perfectly hugging his curves and off shoulder matching bolero cardigan accentuating his clavicles. And with every click of his six inch plum coloured t-strap d'orsay platforms (perfectly matching the beat of the current song) he grew more and more aware of the irony of the scene; virtually everyone was admiring his form, none of whom he would spare a single glance, but you.

Golden, diamond shaped earrings jangling as he walked (something he found rather irritating the more he focused on it), Vil tucked his purse closer to his side with a nonchalant flip of his platinum blonde locks. Normally, he'd feel very confident with his stature and mannerisms, but the way you still haven't graced him with even a single look, he felt it diminish. Oh, how he hated, down-right despised the effect you had on him! What right did you, so insignificant- ah no, that'd be too harsh considering he only ever silently sought out your approval and affection, but he'd digress. What right did you have making him feel this worthless, when he has never looked better? Never felt better?

The première of this new movie, Vil being the lead protagonist, was supposed to be the best fucking night of his life! He'd already strolled the red carpet as if he owned the event, knowing damn well it wasn't the truth because even then he was only seeking your eyes and finding them to be on anything but him. How could you disregard him so coldly, even now as he was approaching your form, more restless than ever?

"[Name], fancy seeing you here of all places," voice levelled, Vil addressed you directly; he wanted you to feel nervous under his gaze once you turned, it's what you deserve after causing him this much distress when it was supposed to be his big night. His official debut into the world of heroism.

"Ah, Schoenheit. Of course you'd run into me," he absolutely hated your wording, you were making him seem desparate - and although he was, you had no right even alluding to such thing!

"Disregarding that, it's quite rude not facing someone when they're speaking to you," he felt his nerves almost snap, seeing you turn around only to grace him with a teasing smirk, head tilted and eyes full of recognition.

"What, you miss me checking you out?" you licked your bottom lip, and it drove him almost as insane as your biting remark.

"I have the whole world focused on me, the last thing I'd need is you 'checking' me out," he rolled his eyes, shimmery gold eyeshadow accentuating the gesture.

"And here I thought we'd finally get some privacy so I could admire you," you laughed, and it brought him great satisfaction seeing the person behind you narrow their eyes in discontent. Without so much as a word, they slinked away with a small click of their tongue, something Vil would comment on in a later interview just out of spite. Was it petty? Maybe, but no one disrespects him and gets away with it - especially if they dare affiliate themselves with you.

"Is that what you were hoping for?" Vil raised a perfectly done eyebrow, crossing his arms in the process. He loved the way your eyes momentarily travelled to his chest before meeting his again.

"Sure, we can go with that if it soothes your ego," you looked to the left, observing the crowd watching the interaction with great interest before narrowing your eyes at the person who walked away from you. It irked him that you cared enough about that leech to even remember dancing with them, but your annoyance at them made it worth it - it was a sign you wouldn't seek them out at the very least!

"Interesting you'd say that, seeing your own just got shattered by . . . who was that again? One of the background characters who couldn't act to save their own life?" he knew his perfect, award winning smile would irritate you as always - it was both a great pleasure and a disdain seeing you vexxed by the accusation.

"You're the one who interrupted me, you know," you placed a hand on your hip, staring Vil down (well, up), and his eyes couldn't help but rake over the upper half of your body. He knew it was probably the alcohol doing most of the thinking, but coupled with the ultraviolet lighting , he just couldn't help but wonder how good you'd feel against him in that moment - away from prying eyes of course.

"I did you a favour dear, I assume you've seen them seizing up our director just then?" you merely shrugged at the assertion, instead focusing on your perfectly done nails.

"Yeah I figured they'd try him next, anything for the headlines speculating who they're fucking, no?" you smiled once you finished your unnecessary examination, looking at Vil once more. He couldn't help but let out a low chuckle at the accusation, so genuine it turned a few heads your direction once more. And oh did Vil absolutely relish the envious stares directed your way, knowing damn well none of them could take your place.

"Very bold statement, you do know it's going to make the news and affect my own reputation?" he leaned in, whispering directly into your ear and yet all you could focus on was the gold rimmed necklace with the initials of your first and last name. Once he pulled away, Vil simply smiled - the way you suddenly flushed up made him somewhat giddy. There was no way in hell you'd even direct your gaze on anything other than him for the rest of the night, and the countless rumours of this encounter coupled with the accessory were certainly going to keep you up at night.

"W-well . . . With what you're pulling right now, I could really say the same," he found your aggrevated stutter endearing, simply shrugging as if unaffected by anything you do when the contrary applied.

"You're acting as if it isn't going to be good publicity, with your role as the lead romantic interest, this could be good for both of us," Vil knew you couldn't disagree with this, watching as for once you tried coming up with something to dspute the statement, to no avail.

"Whatever, I've had too much to drink to deal with this," you sighed out, beginning to walk away from him. This of course, wouldn't do - you were once again making him seem as if he were the one that should be following after you.

"Right, goodnight [Name]," he nodded at your back, beginning to turn around only to stop short once he noticed you turn your head, eyes brimming with confusion; it was perfect, you didn't expect a single thing and fell straight for the bait!

" . . . Oh," you furrowed your eyebrows, so softly no one but him would catch on. He was so used to seeing and observing you that by now, Vil had perfectly memorised each and every one of your gestures and mannerisms. This, although something he prided himself on as he was quite perceptive, was simply maddening. His hyper-awareness of having you on his mind too much and for way too long didn't help this fact either.

"What is it?" he was going to get a straightforward answer from you for a change, and he realised you knew it from the little twitch of your lips. You certainly weren't an easy read, to the outsiders of course.

"Well, I just thought . . ." you were reluctant to voice your thoughts, coaxing him into softening his features as silent encouragement - something you picked up on after a few brief seconds.

"I just thought you might want to come somewhere more quiet, with me" you almost whispered, no doubt letting the alcohol affect some of your judgement. Under normal circumstances, Vil knew you'd probably make more sassy remarks but this? You weren't even attempting to make your tone seem insincere, face devoid of your usual show of defiance to anything he does. Such simple action, and yet it had his pulse quicken by too much of a large margin to be considered a normal reaction.

"On second thought, that seems like the perfect remedy for my oncoming headache," he let a faux smile overtake his face, walking closer and closer up to you, until your arms were brushing against each other. To anyone else, it'd simply seem as though the club was too full, but you both knew the intimacy that came with the action - Vil found it unnerving, just how warm it made his face feel when he's already kissed you countless times, both in practice and for the official filming of the scenes. But he did suppose this was something done out of one's volition, so who could realistically fault him for feeling this way?

"You know, absolutely no one uses the corner booths, even though they're all secluded from the main body of the building and perfect to hide away," you spoke up, rather shyly for someone of your disposition, but Vil found it absolutely delightful. Everything he'd done in an effort to get you to himself was finally paying off.

"Well, this is a club for a reason. Most people don't come here to sit around," he purposefully brushed his fingers against yours, the cold, no doubt expensive jewelled rings causing goosebumps to erupt all over your arm.

"Hah, surely they get tired at some point," you playfully rolled your eyes as the both of you walked through a dark archway, music slowly fading to a pleasant, muted buzz.

"Alcohol seems to have the opposite effect it's supposed to when you're clubbing, you'll come to learn soon enough," Vil flashed you a smirk, his cherry red lips catching your attention momentarily before you glanced away. He wondered if he should be happy at your sudden change of personality- was this the real you or just another elaborate show? Either way, he loved it.

"Are you implying something there, Schoenheit?" your teasing, accusatory remark made him click his tongue in a faux display of displeasure before he replied with his own, "Must you analyse every one of my statements?"

"It's not my fault they're usually loaded," your genuine giggle almost made him break the façade.

"How flattering you think me this complex," your smile dropped at that before you turned to fully face Vil, almost catching him off guard as he stopped to mirrror your action with intrigue painting his lilac irises.

"You are," barely two words and he could feel his breath hitch - and the worst part, he didn't even know why! Was it the lack of people around that made this moment feel so intimate? Or was it the courtesy of the dim room with its scarlet lighting making it seem like some romantic scene from a movie?

"You know . . . I still don't understand," you started to speak, voice low yet sincere. He felt himself drawing in a breath but before he could ask anything you spoke up yet again, "Am I overthinking it . . . ?"

"Overthinking what?" it was a miracle he could even speak clearly with how intently you were observing him. He knew he looked perfect, but with your gaze boring so deeply into him, he felt like you could see every flaw - he can't recall a time he felt so vulnerable.

"Ah . . . Nevermind. Ignore me, I wasn't thinking straight," your sudden shake of the head popped the bubble of tension you both felt. Vil felt his eyebrows furrow, a slight pout forming on his face.

"No. You will tell me," he asserted with a hardened resolve, coming ever closer to you as you backed up; his step forward, your step back. Rinse and repeat. Yet when your back had finally hit the ebony wall, you averted your gaze instead of saying anything.

"[Name], I'm serious, don't make me pry it out a different method," Vil leaned in closer to you, grabbing your chin gently to make you look right at him. He'd be damned if he let you slip away now, just when you were about to reveal everything.

"Are you serious, though?" your disappointed gaze had his heart momentarily shatter and before his emotions got the better of him, you once again murmured before he could even breathe, "about me . . .?"

His lips parted, and for the first time in what felt like forever, he felt speechless. Was there even a way for him to convey just how serious he was about you using words, using actions, using feelings alone? Vil could physically feel the pressure of the tension pushing down onto him, and his grip on you loosened.

"I-I see," you closed your eyes in defeat at the silence, and in that very moment he hated himself more than ever.

"I am. Believe me, I am so very serious, so very sure about you. Forgive my silence, I didn't expect to . . . " he trailed off, not thinking straight when you graced him with the sight of your brilliant eyes once more. The surprised flush of your cheeks made him feel slightly nervous; his feelings were out in the open, but would you reciprocate?

He didn't need to ponder the question too long, for in the next moment and without any hesitation, you were pulling him flush against you in an effort to connect your lips. He found himself tilting his head, slipping his sunglasses off with one hand before abandoning them and his purse both on the ground. It didn't matter they were both expensive and about to be ruined, not when the price of your feelings would be too disrespectful to compare to some lousy materialistic items he could replace later.

His hands found purchase on your waist, gently caressing the curvature in an effort to memorise every inch; the way you leaned into him more had him ignoring his burning lungs as they cried out for oxygen. With the way you felt against him, Vil only wanted to breathe you in; everything else be damned. He couldn't deny the disappointment when you had pulled away, but the sight of your burning face and lidded eyes made it worth breaking away anyway.

"I- . . . Damn, I'm sorry," your sudden nervous laugh caused a small smile to rise up on his own flushed face.

"You will be. No one gets away smudging my lipstick darling," you relaxed into Vil's arms at the remark, and he absolutely relished in the bliss of your content gaze and serene demeanor.

"And how do I pay back, hm?" you regained your confidence, but found it quickly simmer down once he spoke again, "Let me smudge yours even more."

You didn't hesitate to pull him back in for a second.

[stabbyfoxandrew]

Favorite aftg fics?

oh i have several bestie. these will be ones i've read recently because my memory don't go too far back :') also i wasn't what sort you're lookin for so there's... horny and non-horny options : )

non-horny (may contain smut but it's not the focus):

Push to Talk by alexjosten (andreil) neil gets a job as a firewatcher in national park and andrew is his supervisor and they communicate only via radios. at first. this one is just great, loved it a lot!!

Hereafter by potentialfate (andreil) andrew is dead and it's his job to help the souls of the dead get to the afterlife. only... he keeps meeting a boy who can see him on jobs. a boy whose name and appearance keep changing...

slipstreams by boxysmiles (andreil) neil starts to get triggered by random things and can't figure out why. eventually they realize he was waterboarded in the nest.

Found us by Cherubine (andreil) andreil are both ravens and find out they're soulmates in the nest! D:

you ain't gotta go home (but i wish you would) by incogneat_oh (andreil) the boys have an argument and each of them goes to talk to wymack about it. and he ends up helpin them fix it by doing nothing

how could I fear any hurricane by wentwxrths (jeaneil) nathaniel protects jean in the nest. : )

doin' time by misterpadfoot (kandrew) kevin has feelings, andrew has threats- and kisses

TKO by Anonymous (no ship) the busboy who knocks neil out takes him home to recover. features a sweet oc who takes care of neil and who stands up to andrew. theo is my new fave character ok

purely smut:

hold me and explore me by kevjean (kerejean) kevin's wound up and needs to be taken care of : ) bdsm elements. incredibly horny. trans kevin. epic

You Want to See? by lady_flash (kandreil) kandrew are away from home. they fuck in a hotel room and video call neil so he can watch :3

better safe than damned by nanatsuyu (andreil) magical universe. neil summons a tentacle monster to blow off steam, andrew walks in on... them. it's good i promise. love nana's stuff!

Balance Restoration by HereBeChickens (andreil) andrew in a chastity cage, neil fucks him real good. nicenice

and... that's it for now anon sorry i'm so bloomin' late answering. but making fic rec lists is hard for stupid guys okay TWT hope you enjoy! <333

[niceminipotato]

What are some of your favorite Lady D fics? I just saw your post and it's a fic I've never read before! Do you have any other (perhaps ones that aren't as popular or that are older) that you recommend?

Anon!! Hi 👋🏻

I shall absolutely share some of my faves. I only say some because I know I’ll forget some. Have a new phone so my open tabs were sent to the ether. My tablet has them but I don’t have it on me right now.

I will separate by Completed vs In Progress. Make sure to read the content warnings just in case. Gotta always take care of yourself. Also these include Lady D x Reader and Lady D x OC. Oh and these are all in AO3 😉

Ok here we go…

Completed:

Bewitched by Soft_astral

I'm Begging for Mercy on my Mind by AYeti (remember to read the warnings/tags)

Found by WitchyLove14

Safety by DemonOfPuns (I know it’s better known but still a fave so I gotta ya know)

Has Anyone Ever Held You? by theacerbicace (short and sweet)

Different Blood by Miss_V_257 (I remember finding this one and being like, where the hell have you been? lol)

The Photographer by ZeroInvador

In progress:

Some Monsters Are Born by Wolfsbane14

Queen of the Damned by Wolfsbane14

Shield Me also by Wolfsbane14

Maiden of Thorns, Countess of Blood by Radioactive Paws

The Lord’s Cook by Spurs_That_Jingle

The Devil’s Den by littlelesbinonny

I’ll Make You Sing by tabtab317

Alcina’s New Maid by WillaLove75

The crystal is not for display by LadyOrlando (I read this whole thing last night lol and yes it has made it to faves)

The Fake Maid by decapitatedlegume

Untamable by Miss_V_257

Always Faithful by BlueFalcon (I know this one is the one that prompted you to ask but I shall say it again)

A Villainess' Perfect Partner by thesilverawooooo (this may have been discontinued but what is up is pretty good so I don’t mind it I can make up my imaginary endings until the author comes back 😉)

Failing Grace by me 😉😉😉 nah just kidding. Wow I gave you 20 lol guess that’s a lot lol. I hope you find things you haven’t read before. Let me know if there’s any you think should also be on my list. I’m always down for more Lady D amazingness.

[barbieb0y]

okay. i finished the 2.0/floor it! to the golden city event story. thoughts/ramble under the cut bc spoilers

i feel like. the plot is kinda all over the place ?? it starts off with this legers dude wanting to meet with j for "a slice of that new age market pie" which means .... what exactly? am i just dumb?? i still dont get what he wanted from j that has to do with the new age market and/or manus vindicslay. i'd appreciate it if someone can explain to my dumbass. but then, understandably so, the j gang sees legers and his cronies as a threat to haight street. and then it leads to ... j wanting to visit his sister paulina/polly at the foundation

i feel like there couldve been a better lead-up to this other than "man we shouldve left like polly did but now we gotta deal with some baddies". like idk it feels abrupt to just cut to them visiting the foundation. but then theyre like oh polly couldnt have died bc her hand doesnt match this old pic we have of her and it's kinda silly and they raise a commotion and bla bla bla the foundation chases after them bc of it (i find it funny how thats how they get the foundation in on the bigger problem thats brewing underneath everything). matilda is tasked with catching the men and then through matilda's diviner skills, they confirm that polly's dead. manus vindicslay comes to stir shit up again so matilda's like okay fine i'll help you guys

fast forward they stumble upon the underground market blah blah blah mercuria is evil ⁉️ except i actually. dont understand what her role is here. like at first i thought that might be the point of her character bc she never stays in one place so she never stays in one role but idk. for someone who seems to be so important in this event, her motivations are unclear. but anyway

i dont understand the whole "oh we planned this all along" think they pulled either like??? what. did they plan exactly? the ambush and j faking a death and working alongside legers?? none of this was explained properly right??? or am i dumb???? ngl when i was playing through that scene i was like "are they expecting the audience to be smart enough to piece everything together?" my mind started to wonder like if they pulled a persona 5 and have a whole scene explaining their plan, would that be underestimating their audience? MAN IDK BUT THEY DIDNT SAY SHIT ABOUT THIS PLAN UNTIL THAT SCENE PLAYED. i definitely related to matilda in that moment 😭😭😭

but anyway what i liked and not-confusing about this event is the characterization of the characters (aside from mercuria). everyone feels consistent, from j all the way to eternity. im glad the quality of the character writing is still intact at least, for the most part

the character dynamics are also quite well-written, especially between j and polly. it's as heart-wrenching as i expected it to be. thinking about it actively gives me emotional damage. the fact that it took me more than a dozen chapters for me to realize that j sees polly in matilda. seeing his friendships is also heartwarming and it showcases j's personality quite well. his dynamic with pioneer is also cute. theres always something funny coming out of their dialogue when they interact

the setting is an interesting choice, it's enlightening to see how it impacts the worldview of the characters and their motivations. the poverty, disease, crime, and neglect of it all. the new age market is intriguing is a nice choice to get a lot of people of different backgrounds and stuff to gather in one place. not much to say beyond that

tldr: i dont know what the hell happened story-wise but it Happened but i truly love all the characters in it and how they interact with each other and their environment. this event story brought me Massive Pain™️, especially when paulina is on screen

not my fave event (which may be surprising bc j is in this event, i know), rayashki takes the cake for that, but i would be lying if i said i dislike this event. in fact, it's made me want to cry a few times. if it wasnt for the confusing pacing, i wouldve been more moved

[upslapmeal]

Boom

So I had vaguely seen things about Moffat coming back, but I'd always interpreted the 'next' series as being... the NEXT series. after the upcoming one. anyway BIG ol' surprise in the opening titles lol

are these those anglican marines back from what?? s5? s6?

....is this a flashback? I think those guys had the same name

we're finding out he swapped a duty and now he's injured

oh wait it’s not a flashback lmao

this is where being bad at faces fails me

is this an american ambulance situation where they cost too much and ruin your life?

ah

they ruin your life in another significant way

‘villengard’ assuming this is pre-bananas lol

*dramatically throws open tardis doors* 'someone needs me!!!'

Fifteen’s theme is so good

Moffat??????? well that explains the anglican marines

Fifteen is excellent at answering questions. shame they're not the questions Ruby is asking

‘one wrong move and boom’ eyy title drop

when can Twelve and Fifteen bond over capitalism and being scottish

‘i’m not even screaming. yet.’ yeah

‘it’s going to be tricky’ ‘it’s going to be a MOMENT YEAH’

gotta think of health and safety at war what can I say! only the finest ventilated air before our ambulances murder you

Ruby on her first planet <3 (though only now after 6 months?? Fifteen you've been slacking clearly!)

‘he was being sMELTED??’ ‘it’s a good word smelted’ 'NOT AT THE MOMENT???’ obviously Fifteen's not having the best time but poor Ruby lmao

‘ooooh I am. havin’ a day 🙃��’ never has a Doctor been so me. minus the landmine.

Ruby don’t make the Doctor laugh when he’s balancing on one leg!!

oh man the Doctor really IS having a day

ok those soldiers are definitely not the same guy lol but I could have sworn they had the same name!

‘everything is possible. everywhere is a beach eventually’ RIP Mundy left out of that lil callback to earlier

Ruby grabbing the gun, shooting it and yelling is v much banging the pipes in Space Babies lol

love that her instinct is make noise and yell, think later

meanwhile Splice is chilling with her lil photo album

…did I mishear shoot me little bitch??

oh lol ‘shoot me a little bit'

nooo Ruby!!

‘I can’t think unless I’m talking and I can only talk to you’ oh that is VERY Twelve Clara

and also a lot to put on someone you’ve known for so little time that they’re only just seeing their first planet RIP

Fifteen: do you get it do you get it!! Ruby: 😴

'there are no Kastarions’ big Doctor’s Daughter vibes

Thirteen: have faith!!! <3 Fifteen: >:(

love fifteen giving his big speech with snot running down his lip. giving Nine in Dalek

‘how much of the countdown left’ ‘3 minutes maybe’ I mean you said 5 minutes 4 minutes ago

speaking of which what is the point of assessing for life and having a countdown if it just blows anyway

(to give it flashy lights and features I know)

bud I appreciate the romance going on here but now is maybe not the time

oh yeah very much not the time

…..delighted that Ruby hasn’t been smelted. yet.

(.....also 3 minutes have now passed. where is the boom the title promised!!)

the deaths are stacking up and Splice is just having the best chill time lol

oh the ambulance is the twist lady!

just for the record it took that failsafe 8 minutes to trigger

lol poor confused Ruby. honestly rude to die and miss the action

there’s the closeup from the trailer!!

who knew that serene deep breath came shortly after prolonged near death by landmine

‘he’s not gone. he’s just dead’ <3

‘you keep the faith Splice’ there we go

‘snow isn’t snow until it falls’ maybe it’s just my love for Twelve’s era but I’ve been endeared to these nonsense Moffatisms lol

ok looking at the credits those characters have different names but they're still similar! you can’t have two characters with similar names played by incredibly similar-looking people and expect us to tell them apart??

WAIT HANG ON

varada sethu????? as in new companion???????

is Mundy coming back?????? or is this a Karen Gillan situation?

Really enjoyed this one!! Easily my fave of the first three, very tense and WHAT a showcase for Ncuti!!! Absolute powerhouse. However. On rewatch I really did notice how much Ruby was written like Clara lol. Ah Moff you've got your strengths and weaknesses like us all

[jazeswhbhaven]

RIP Satan stans

PB fumbled the plot for this Torture card so bad (눈_눈) hearing about the premise of "MC in Gabriel's body getting handsy with Satan while he's bound" immediately set off alarm bells in my head i didn't even wanna find out what happens til the end

writing noncon is already a struggle in and of itself, needing to make sure it doesn't become full on SA....this just showed you need to put a lot more care and caution when doing these kind of stuff

yea the game can be all braindead horny no braincells or sense in sight but you gotta be tasteful sometimes 💀 i dont think they learned anything from the Christmas cards...

Satan gets neglected for so long only to get an awful card...

the art is immaculate as usual and im sad that the accompanying story is abysmal (imo at least)

- a very 'disappointed but not surprised' 🦐

🦐!!!!! My OC Astra is punching the air right now, like there was so much to unpack. The only damn saving grace for the most part was the chat (though it was much shorter than usual...) and what I saw for the date story where Satan was being himself again and cuddly/stubborn lol

When it comes to writing noncon, it has to be done right as you said. It wasn't done right and I'm pretty sure whoever is writing this thought that maybe with the date story to follow it wouldn't "be so bad" but most folks can't get access to that stuff so they're just left with the main card story and a bad taste in their mouth. The card art is great as per usual (though that new Belphie pose has me saying no I do not like it) but I hope the VA got paid well for this because I feel he did a lot of good vocals just to be wasted on subpar movement/interaction for Satan's adore mode.

I recently posted my react for this card and though I feel I may have went in so hard, maybe I needed to this time around lol I do hope whatever card we get next for him is better. But we'll see...it seems they only prioritize the faves...mean Beel's torture card will probably be paywalled but have a better story...

[panelshowsource]

i know people get a lil over-the-top with their line-up predictions

(i feel like i have so much to say about this but don't wanna get into it bc it's not nice to make fun of people for simply being excited about stuff?? but how are you gonna hear there's an "american comedy actor" on the upcoming series and sincerely suggest it's possibly let alone likely a-list hollywood star paul rudd... i love the enthusiasm but some of y'all gotta come back down to earth that's all i'm saying 😩)

but is it too much to ask for graham to just be on new year treat? 🥺 PLEASE? 🥺

omg so cute 💕 there are some people i just KNOW you guys are gonna go crazy for or fall in love with once you see them on something, she was like textbook tumblr crush hahaha

in case you didn't know she's one of the only co-writers of guy mont spelling bee so check that series out if you love her humour!! she is also on s01e01 of the nz ver :)

btw you didn't fall in love w her as hard as robbie did hehehe he is fan goals 🤭

sorry i am late to this ask — did you mean the last one laughing uk version? YES so excited especially because he's co-hosting with roisin and i love how funny he finds her! people have their predictions and i am gonna put it out there for a second time that i think joe lycett and judi love are underrated horses in this race. i know judi loves a laugh BUT she can hold her character with the best of them...👀

we need more new shows!!! i miss everyone ;;

THE REST IS ENTERTAINMENT OF COURSE!!!

wow i'd never heard of this channel (sorry i really don't know youtubers — but i'd like to! i keep saying i want to get into the history and zoology sectors of youtube essays (pls send if you have any you love lol)) but i'm glad to see the pod being used as a legitimate point of research!

bc casual listeners may not realise that when marina & richard address topics and answer audience questions, they're going to specialists in the industry — actors, writers, producers, showrunners, journalists, investors — and getting their input before coming on the pod for discussions. that's a major part of what gives the podcast the depth and authority we find so fascinating!

but was he wrong!! lmao he's so quick

ooo thanks i appreciate it! i listened to the sue perkins and nish kumar episodes and they were really fun — especially because i love goss and little personal life easter eggs. if you have a fave episode lmk!!

i can't say the format of the show blows my mind, but i do think with the right guests it can be fun — and elis is def one of my faves (he's such an underrated yapper)!! i loved alex, ivo, rose, sam as well. i do worry the show won't be worth a full episode listen with the wrong guest or chemistry, but for now i'm staying tuned in! i'll try to post some clips from it too

—

PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS / NON-PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS FAQ / TAGS / ASK

[janzoo]

OC Smash or Pass: Drakyr Saovine

Rules: pretty self explanatory. include physical descriptions or pics, and propaganda. the “other” label can be used for “sexuality misalignment” (ie: oc is femme and you’re gay, vice versa or you aren’t into smashing but a specific thing you wanna do with them like perhaps hug or study them under a microscope idc).

Tagged here by @thevikingwoman thank you! This has turned out to be the best character info/lore page I've put together for Drakyr so far so I'm glad for the tag. 💙

Tagging - oh man who hasn't been tagged in this by now lol uhh @rabid-catboy @paintedscales @hopes-legacy @sebille @raynshyu

@ishgard @dytabytes @hydaelyns-bitch @forishgard @morgan-aleghieri and whoever else wants to do this, it's fun!

(7.0 graphics w/photoshopped black sclera. The beach pic is a remake of an old fave.)

(Pre-7.0 graphics)

(The last pic is from here, with some lore and the original (real person!) pose.)

Quick Facts

Height: 5'2"/159cm

Age: I'm still working out her timeline, but she's in her early 30s by the end of Dawntrail.

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Bisexual

Pros

An excellent cook/baker! She is a level 100 Culinarian and absolutely shows it. She also loves tea and is adept at crafting blends.

A foodie in general - come enjoy lots of good/new food with her!

Generally very handy and an excellent craftswoman

Confident

Loyal and dependable

Very passionate and compassionate - she's gotta lotta heart 💙

Not afraid to do dirty work (as long as she can have a good bath afterwards)

An amazing musician, vocalist, and instrumental composer.

Drakyr is in excellent physical condition. She was an athlete and hunter before becoming a warrior proper.

Good sense of sportsmanship. (She does preen over her victories, but has enough class to save it until she's among the right crowd. She also does appreciates the competition and doesn't think less of them for losing to her.)

She's generally good at turning negative experiences into lessons as opposed to being dragged down by them. (She's not immune to grief and the like; this is after the initial shock has passed, so to speak.)

Body- and sex-positive.

Cons

Vain - not in that she flaunts her looks over others, but she spends a lot of time and effort on her appearance. What other people do or don't do with their appearance is on them, but she has to look her best.

Claustrophobic

Ruthless in that once she gets started on something, it's difficult to slow, stop, or redirect her.

Will try to fix everyone's problems.

Is prone to heading into danger/potential traps because she figures that, as the Warrior of Freakin' Light/Darkness, she can handle whatever gets thrown at her.

She is stage-shy about singing in particular, and doesn't do it often unless enough of the audience consists of people she trusts. Struggles to come up with lyrics for her compositions.

Her loyalty can blind her to the wrongdoings of those she's loyal to.

Details

Primarily a Bard, and was raised in a travelling show/competition - she can entertain and handle being the centre of attention.

She's competitive (put here because that can be both a pro and con lol)

Her family/tribe was killed in the Calamity, save for her younger sister, Lakelta. (I do have something in the works of her finding some surviving tribe members that were abducted/conscripted by the Garlean Empire, but the idea is still very tentative/WIP.)

A night-person

Drakyr prefers to carry both titles of Warror of Light and Darkness, in acknowledgement of everything that happened in Shadowbringers, and of the fact that there is no one "evil element". (I'd love to make some kind of combined title for her, like "Warrior of Twilight". But I'm wary of getting Twilight series remarks in turn. 😬)

Drakyr is spiritual, and does revere Nhaama and Oschon as her personal deities. (Less so the latter after Myths of the Realm, though she does occasionally send a prayer/well-wishes his way anyway.) She spends enough time in Ishgard to pay respects to Halone too.

A "work hard, play hard" type who enjoys relaxing/decompressing with a good meal, a soak in a hot tub, and some chill sightseeing/stargazing/lazing around - parallel play is a bonus for any of these. ("Play hard" in that she completely shuts out "work" and any thoughts of it unless an absolute emergency comes up.)

Loves water and swimming, though prefers freshwater over saltwater.

Drakyr believes that destruction is easy, but that ease is a sort of cheat that makes it seem more intimidating and powerful. True power lies in the ability to create and construct.

Not afraid to throw around her weight as Warrior of Light/Darkness (again, can be both a pro and con).

Her intelligence is much more applied as opposed to booksmarts. She's had to stop Alphinaud or other scholars/Scions from what feels like talking at her and have them show her what they need/mean. What books she has are field guides and story books. She does some light journaling.

She loves holidays! Her birthday is on All Saints' Wake/Halloween.

Pierced nipples (link contains non-sexual nudity). She has several different kinds and can change what colour they glow as. Wears simple rings by default.

You can find more info in Drakyr's lore tag.

Sexuality: First and foremost, it doesn't matter to her if it's vanilla or kinky, slow or fast, as long as there is passion. Otherwise she's an open-minded switch, though she does have a bit of a preference for topping-from-the-bottom. Haurchefant introduced her to some kinks that she enjoys still, namely shibari, light dom/sub, and using/wearing leather. (She is not a lacy gal.) Drakyr also enjoys intimacy for more than just insert-dick-into-hole; it's still sex to her whether there was penetration or not. She especially loves oral (both ways). When in a top/dom position, she is patient and gives lots of praise.

Emotionally: Again, she is passionate - she puts her whole heart into whatever she does. By that I don't mean high-energy - passionate as in her partners will never feel the need to question her conviction. She is unwavering in her love. She is a wellspring of adoration and affection. She's in it for keeps. Drakyr also tends to make herself a sanctuary for her loved ones. They can find solace in her presence, and safety at her back. She expects the same in return from her partners. Drakyr loves to love and be loved.

Cast your vote!

[plaindangan]

October Update + New Event!

Update Below

(Your Hostess pops into view!~)

Puhuhuhuhuhu!!! Hello my precious little participants!! Welcome to the 1st Annual Jabberwock Island Survival Game!!! Hosted by none other than your favorite bear/humanoid robot thing - Monokuma-Chan!~

…Eh?!!! What do you mean I’m in the least popular requested?!!! ;_; Ugh, this wounds me more than learning my cherished manga had to wrap everything up in less than five chapters!!

Hm?? What’s that you say? To you, beyond the 4th wall, you never heard of it before in your life? Aren’t you supposed to be a part of the info savvy generation?!!!! How un-bear-able!!!!

But, I’d be a bad Headmistress if I didn’t educate my precious audience, so I’ll give you the scoop on this sensual situation:

As the name suggests, it’s up to every player here to survive on Jabberwock Island up until November 1st! Seems easy enough, yeah? Weeeeeell, it won’t be!! Because thanks to a certain genius bimbo we got some actual stakes here!!!

See, Jabberwock Island is INFESTED with ghouls!!!!!!

(...Or zombies if you prefer, blegh)

Naming conventions aside, these will be your main foes they must outwit and outrun, for they have quite the taste for flesh~ Now, should also note, they don’t really want to eat your brains or skin off…but, they are into another sort of ‘flesh tasting’~

Yeah, since this is Miu, she pretty much created absolute sex ghouls that look hawt as Hell (gotta emphasis no rot, just gray skin, white eyes, with curvy-ass to hunky bodies here) and want nothing more than to fuck the players sideways!! Though, there is a catch to this. See, it wouldn’t be a good undead apocalypse if there wasn’t a way for the ghouls to increase their numbers, right?~

Basically any player who winds up being fucked silly by these guys will become a ghoul themselves, becoming a member of the horny horde~ Completely unable to think of anything but fucking the next person they see!!! Puhuhuhuhhuhu!!!

Also, don’t worry your little heads about whether or not your faves will be like that forever if caught or even if we snatched them against their wills. We’ve made sure that not only is everyone aware they’ll be fixed up in a jiffy afterwards, but all have signed on…….mostly since the thought of being chased, trying to avoid falling into temptation and being fucking railed by a hot ass monster does hold an immense appeal to these freaky lot~

Here’s how it’ll go for First Round:

Available Islands for the players will be:

Central Island, First Island and Second Island!! 

Because there’s no fun if all the islands were available right off the bat!!! It’s all up to them to see if they can survive this first wave up until Oct 7th!! Puhuhuhu!! Wonder who's gonna get out during this time~

-

Hello, welcome to the new event for the Halloween Season!!!! I was inspired to try my hand at it thanks to the great @ghostsbest and their own zombie survival game last year for their Fangan blog @sdranothersmut.

In this case, it’s pretty much all the muses of PlainDangan trying to rough it out. Following in Ghost’s set-up, they have 4 ‘chances’ to so to speak before a ghoul could get to them and turn them into apart of the horny dead~ If you’re also wondering

As the asker, you can decide how a muse eventually winds up in the situation they’re in, though whether or not that results in loss of ‘armor’ depends on the whims of the die (and, occasionally, if I just find it fitting. Mostly dice and I would tell you otherwise XD)

In this case:

Roll 1-2: Muse keeps the armor

Roll 3-4: Muse loses 1 armor

Roll 5-6: Muse loses 2 armor

Likewise, of if the muse has no armor than 3 and above is gonna be wraps for them~

Which brings us to the other aspect of this game…for now~

Muse Zombies! Muses Zombies are stronger than normal zombies, dealing 2 armor loss on a 3-4 roll, and 3 armor loss on a 5-6 roll. At least, in terms of encounters they are neutral against.

Depending on who gets turned, they might do better or worse against certain Muses than others. For example, a Ghoul Akane, might do really well against a weaker muse…but someone of the same strength as her or greater could be able to repel her better.

In this case, for types I feel would have the advantage, they need to hit a 1-2 to escape, as 3-4 now becomes 3 armor loss and 5-6 is 4 straight. Which, depending on how a muse is currently with their armor, could mean another one joins the horde~ This system also works vice-versa, with the defending muse being in a better position as the encounter would become just a regular zombie encounter.

Can have asks with up to 4 muses in them. When that happens, who loses out and who gains will be determined by a bit of randomization as well, in addition to taking in what the scenario wants.

Finally, use Survival Jabberwock (SJ) for

Anyways, for now, that’s pretty much the gift of things! Hope you enjoy this event and send the asks in to see who might survive it all! You can still send in regular asks too as well! Though am super leaning on Halloween or monster based asks too!!!

…

Oh, also Tribe Nine girls can now be asked, with Kuronaka and Haru as their guys' representatives for now! Finished their anime and got to know more about its closed beta so felt it was right have them join the Tookyoverse

Mainline: Komaru, Hiyoko, Akane, Sakura, Kyoko, Kanon, Peko, Ruruka, Miaya, Maki, Tenko, Himiko, Older WOH

Fangan: Hu Jing, J, Rose, Eva, Wenona, Eloise, Emma, Iroha, Kanade, Akane Taira, Mikako, Rei

Tookyo: Fubuki, Guillame, Melami, Iruka, Nun, Enyne, Ryo, Swindler, Pupil, Enoki, Minami, Tsuki, Saori, Yui Kamiki

Special: Juniper Shields (Successor Beta), Reiko Kamitsuki, DR0/Student Council Asks, Killer Killer girls asks,, Yori Fuchisaki, Kotone Naegi, Sato, Miyadera

Genderbend: Kyosuke, Juzo, Makoto, Komaru, Byakuya, Kokichi, Rantaro, Mahiru, Mikan, Kazuichi, Leon, Kiyo

[bosskie]

Molluck's Emotions 'n' Faces

I barely felt like drawing a few days ago but I just kept seeing a certain image of Molluck inside my head, so I started doodling him, yet again... This doesn't look like what I had inside my head since it made no sense to me when I tried to draw it... So yeah, here's just some random Molluck sketches I did to practice his face anatomy. I didn't mean to render these sketches, but like I have said, I'm bad at drawing simple stuff...

It seems like I do like to mix realism and cartoony elements together, I just haven't noticed it this clearly before... I had no idea what effect to draw that angry Molluck to have, so I ended up 'setting his head on fire'... You surely don't wanna make him angry! Though I gotta say that I love drawing angry faces, so this is yet one more reason why I love drawing Molluck this much.

I don't know how odd it's to see me drawing him mainly without his scars but it's just about that I tend to picture him before 'that disaster'. I also think that that his black suit fits better this new Molluck and that purple suit fits the best those previous Mollucks, so that's why I also keep this same suit. He is a very stylish Gluk!

I also have been thinking his face recently, in a certain way (of course I think about his face, like every day). He seems to look the most like 'a traditional Glukkon', or how I should say... He looks surprisingly a lot like he did in Abe's Oddysee. Yes, I could make this comparison between that New 'n' Tasty one too, but I prefer doing it this way, especially when I prefer this AO Molluck over NnT one (though, when it comes to anatomy, NnT is probably better... Yes, his body has a bit different anatomy in these games, especially arms, but when it comes to his hands, well, that concept art wins... Yeah, I'm basically mixing my fave Molluck stuff from different 'versions'. But enough about his body, for now.).

Here's an image to illustrate what I see:

Yeah, not the best quality but hopefully you see the main stuff here. First, he got similar cheeks; I'm not sure how to describe them but they have like two parts. The shape of his forehead, like the area around his eyes, is similar but also the shape of his eyes. (A little note: I have noticed that his eyes are a bit different in the actual cutscenes, and it's probably due to that this is a concept art piece, made on the 3D model, like his suit ain't actually a 3D thing but a drawing.) The basic shape of his head is the same in general, like his ears have the similar shape too. His chin has that 'separate part' in the middle of it. And yeah, his mouth looks pretty similar too. When I took that one screenshot for the ask, I also thought while looking at this Glukkon sign in it that man, this looks like Molluck's shape:

So yeah, Molluck is indeed 'the Glukkon'. But I also tend to think that he has very delicate features, or I at least tend to think this, that he looks very elegant and therefore he is such a beautiful Glukkon. Yes, I prefer to call him beautiful than handsome since like I said, I find him just elegant, adorable, endearing, even dainty, and so on, those kinda soft/feminine adjectives, so he is indeed beautiful for me. Though yes, he do is also handsome but I just prefer those adjectives about him. Frankly, I feel kinda alone with this but I guess that one reason for it is the orientation but also my personality, my own preference, and so on...

Yeah, it also has came to my mind to think that probably some people (would) find my Molluck sculpt creepy... Like there are people who do find him scary/intimidating but well, also ugly. But for me, he is just so adorable, beautiful, and well, my ideal man... They say that some people have unrealistic beauty standards, well, look at mine then, they totally are unrealistic! But I still managed to find 'my man', so no problem. (Y) I just have like zero interest in dating and other stuff like that IRL, so this is just my way to be, having a fictional partner. I know how some people see it, would see me as a weirdo, but I'm not gonna change myself for them. I'm so used to be seen as odd, so I kinda have no way to be 'normal' anyway, why I even should be like that. It used to depress me back then but then I started to embrace my 'oddness', especially after finding Oddworld, so yeah, I just tend to describe myself as 'an odd man' these days.

Also yeah, Molluck's species is also sapient and he do can express himself, so I just see there shouldn't be any problem in this way. Though, sometimes I wonder if he would really be into a relationship like this since he is so into his business, getting his moolah, and so on, but also probably has this attitude that Glukkons are 'higher/better species' than many others, making me wonder how he would see humans since yeah, I do am a human in my self-insert world with him, look like I do IRL. But I still see him having a certain kind and soft side inside him that he must hide, like I genuinely find him friendly, so I feel like my own species wouldn't be a problem for him, even if humans look similar to Mudokons. Also, I bet that he enjoys having someone to pamper him, that he can be himself with someone and having someone that understands him. Just no matter what has been said about him, I still find him a lovely Gluk!

Um yeah, I'm not sure of what else to say here but that yesterday, I saw some unseen Molluck and Glukkon stuff for me from that rare Oddworld artbook, the First 10 Years of Oddworld. (I gotta own it one day.) Man, it made me laugh a lot when I saw that storyboard for the ending of AO. Like, Molluck seems to swear and then, when Abe tries to chant, he just blows smoke into his face; just loved that stuff! I just can totally see Molluck doing that stuff, and man, I would love to create something related to this! Also yeah, it also made me laugh a lot when the book called that young Glukkons flushing their pet Fleeches down the toilet as 'the rite of passage'. In our world, people abandon their pets in the streets, but in Oddworld, they are flushed down the toilet; which one is worse? Well, probably depends on the species of the pet. I still need to draw a Glukkon with a Fleech... I just cannot really figure out how to draw young Glukkons... Like, I really wish to draw Molluck as a child with his Fleech pet... Well, just gotta try it one day. I have wanted to draw a Glukkon with a Fleech since I heard about the whole thing in the game but drawing young Glukkons has felt impossible...

But yeah, just so much stuff to create! Maybe I should just draw like a child, you know, just not really care about the result, just do it! There somewhere I still just prefer to see my stuff as amateur stuff, like I'm only a hobbyist anyway, not a professional; my stuff doesn't look like professional to me anyway, I know what it lacks of. I just personally think that my stuff doesn't have a high quality, barely good; it's just 'okay' for me. Sometimes, I just tend to think that every person I see here draws better than me and therefore I should stop posting my trash... Though, I don't even wanna really think about who draws the best, just focus on what the drawing is about.

~ Gotta just keep creating!