#do not read his wikipedia page it is inaccurate

[kaurwreck]

If y'all ever get sick of my bsd meta, take heart that at least you're not exposed to my more deranged takes, such as my sincere belief that bsd!Mori's blindspots in rationality are, in part, inspired by the same stubborn streak irl!Mori displayed in refusing to approach beriberi disease as being caused by nutritional deficiency instead of yet-named pathogenic bacteria. I save that batshittery for @sarahworm.

[stephensmithuk]

Bunny's cage: HMP Wormwood Scrubs

Bunny Manders spends his 18 months of 'porridge' at what is today called HM Prison Wormwood Scrubs, located south of the park of that name in London W12. The HM of course stands for "His Majesty's". While the UK does have some privately run prisons, this is not one of them.

The nearest Tube is East Action and the A40 Westway is close by if you want to visit. Hammersmith Hospital is next door, in case prisoners need to go there.

It has an iconic entrance - see below - which is commonly used for prison release scenes in TV and movies, such as The Italian Job.

(The interiors for that were filmed at the long-closed Kilmainham Gaol in Dublin, also a common filming location, turning up in, of all things, Into the Badlands.)

Even one of the Gorillaz ended up there...

"The Scrubs" as it is known, was started in 1874 to a design by Sir Edmund Frederick Du Cane, who gives his name to the road the prison is on. The British needed to construct new prisons to hold convicts after transportation to Australia ended in 1867, basically because the non-convict Australians had had enough of being used as a dumping ground for criminals.

Convicts from Millbank Prison were used to construct a temporary facility initially and then worked over the next sixteen years until the facility was complete in 1891. It would hold male and female prisoners until 1902. At that point, the last of the latter were transferred to Holloway and the prison has been male-only since, although there may be some female officers there.

It had been intended for as a long-term penitentiary but ended up becoming a local prison for those serving shorter terms at "His/Her Majesty's Pleasure" as the popular, but inaccurate term would have it.

(That term is legally used for young offenders convicted of murder as an alternative to a life sentence)

Wormwood Scrubs was your typical prison of the period, as this 1903 image shows:

The nets, still there today, are an anti-suicide measure.

This article shows what a single person cell at Wormwood Scrubs looked like in 2015:

A lot of the cells today are two-person ones with a bunk bed.

Anyway, going back to 1896. After the 'Separate System' of the 1840s had driven prisoners mad, a new approach was tried from the 1860s. Basically, the idea was to "scare 'em straight" - make prison just undesirable enough so convicts did not reoffend. Reform was seen as impossible and attempting it pointless.

Du Cane was going to make hard time ...

(Du Cane putting on Victorian sunglasses)

Hard.

(GIF of Victorian man screaming "Capital, dear chap!")

Du Cane called this '‘Hard Labour, Hard Fare and Hard Board’.

Hard Labour

Prisoners would spend long periods of time, like eight hours a day, doing physical labour that was often completely pointless.

Stuff like:

Walking on a rotary treadwheel like you were a hamster. Not connected to anything in most cases. You got breaks, but you were basically climbing the equivalent of the Matterhorn on a daily basis.

Turning a crank thousands of times. Again for no actual useful reason than to break your spirit.

Picking up a cannonball, carrying it at chest height across the yard and putting it down again. Prisons would have cannons used to announce executions, but those generally didn't fire actual live rounds.

Untwisting tar-covered old ropes from ships so the fibres could be used as caulking for waterproofing said ships. This was arguably the most useful task for society, but it was a nasty one, causing cramp and bleeding fingers. This was commonly done in workhouses to by those deemed unsuitable for other tasks - so children, commonly. You would be expected to do at least 3lbs a day if sentenced to hard labour.

Breaking rocks in the hard rain. You'd fought the law and the law won.

This was also done under the 'Silent System' - prisoners were banned from talking to each other.

There were in fact two classes of hard labour and also work in a trade. If you were deemed to be unfit for the first class, you could be put in the second. If for neither, you would be put in a trade.

Oscar Wilde was assigned to the second class, so picked oakum while at Wandsworth. However, even that was too much for him and he collapsed at chapel, rupturing his right eardrum and spending two months in the infirmary. Transferred to Reading, he eventually ended up in charge of distributing books to prisoners from the small prison library.

Indeed, prisoners would try anything to avoid the treadwheel, like eating soap or large quantities of salt. Collapsing at the wheel could result in serious injury or even death as you could be crushed by the still turning device unless someone spotted you.

There was no labour on Sundays or public holidays. I imagine you would spend most of your time in the cells. Something not much changed today, considering the 2021 inspection report of Wormwood Scrubs I found.

Wormwood Scrubs has in fact got a very large chapel and today it has an organ originally from a cinema in Ealing.

Hard Fare

The food was deliberately kept monotonous, but enough of it was provided to keep the prisoners alive and able to work. The main staple was gruel (hence "doing porridge") as in the workhouses or the oatmeal-based substitute stirabout. However, you would get other stuff for doing hard labour. The Victorians ate a lot more bread and potatoes then we do today for example.

A 2019 study by the University of Liverpool found that many of the 400 prisoners they looked at remained with the same BMI as they went in with - many even gained weight.

However, that was by no means the sole indication of health - prisons could easily provide vectors for infection, even if they were less overcrowded then before.

Hard Board

Prisoners had formerly slept in hammcocks - they now had hard boards to sleep on instead. They would also wear blue uniforms with broad arrows on, still something seen in cartoons.

Literature was limited - Wilde was initally limited only to the Bible and The Pilgrim's Progress. He was initially not even allowed pen and paper either.

I believe you were allowed to spend an hour in the yard each day, but this was walking in single file with again no talking.

I can imagine that even with a stove, your cell might get quite chilly in winter. Chillbains would have been common.

Rule-breaking could lead to various punishments including flogging. You might also be put solely on bread and water, a punishment still employed by the US Navy until 2019.

Summary

Wilde, who would write two books on his experience, never recovered from his prison time. He is thought to have got meningitis as a result of his fall and died in France three years after his release.

The effect of all this on offending rates was limited too - many would end doing further sentences. At least you got fed, something not guaranteed outside unless you headed for the workhouse.

The latter history of Wormwood Scrubs

However, reform had started of the system and conditions would become a good deal less harsh. The more pointless hard labour was abolished in 1902.

The First World War saw the Scrubs hold a number of conscientious objectors, who had refused even non-combat roles as they saw those as keeping the war going - when refused an exemption, they had refused to obey orders to report to barracks. Hubert W. Peet spent 112 days there and his account is now public domain:

The 'sequel' as I often call it saw Wormwood Scrubs cleared of prisoners and taken over by the War Department. MI5 spent a short time based there at the start of the war. Secretaries would often be two to a cell.

The prison returned to normal operations afterwards.

In 1966, it would see its most famous escape.

George Blake

George Blake was an SIS officer who had started working for Soviet intelligence as while imprisoned in the Korean War. He tipped off the Soviets about the tunnel the Allies would dig under the West Berlin/East Berlin border to tap military telephone lines. Being the cagey bees they were and not wanting to compromise Blake, they waited a year before 'discovering' the tunnel in a blaze of publicity. In fact, they appear to have not even made measures to restrict what the lines were used for and the West probably got some pretty good intel off it.

More seriously, Blake betrayed a large number of SIS agents to the Soviet bloc, many of whom ended up dead as a result.

Blake was arrested in 1961, ultimately made a full confession and in a private trial at the Old Bailey was sentenced to 42 years in prison; the maximum sentence for his actual offence was 14 years, but he was deemed to have committed five separate offences and some would run consecutively. This was the longest non-life sentence ever handed down in a British court.

In 1966, Blake was helped to escape by three former prisoners, two anti-nuclear campaigners and an Irish career criminal called Sean Bourke, who thought his sentence was inhuman. They also liked him. A walkie-talkie was smuggled in. During the weekly film show, Blake broke a window in his cell block, got to the perimeter wall and then climbed a rope ladder thrown over it, breaking his wrist on the way down.

Blake would eventually be smuggled out of the UK and to East Germany, along with Bourke. Blake was picked up by the KGB, taken to the USSR and remained in what become Russia until his death in 2020 aged 98, being given a funeral with military honours.

The anti-nuclear campaigners were charged with aiding his escape in 1991, claiming a moral defence. The jury, as British juries sometimes do, ignored the judge's instructions to convict them and instead declared them both not guilty. Bourke had returned to Ireland, where the Supreme Court refused to extradite him in 1973 in the grounds his crime was a political one. He would die in 1982 after collapsing walking down the road; one ex-KGB defector has claimed he was poisoned.

Penal dustbin

In 1979, IRA prisoners staged a rooftop protest over visiting rights. Then a riot over conditions, including awful toothpaste, resulted in a lot of injuries. The governor had resigned just before the riots and when the 1982 inquiry blamed the prison, he called the place a "penal dustbin".

The 1990s saw six officers convicted over brutality and large compensation payouts - the chief inspector of prisons told the place to improve or close.

Various inspection reports over the years have seen some improvements in conditions... largely as many prisoners spent most of their day in their cells.

Famous and infamous residents

Various well-known people have spent time in the Scrubs, including:

Horatio Bottomley, a newspaper mogul of the era who got seven years in 1922 for stealing money from a bonds fund.

Charles Bronson. Not the actor, but he inspired the man's use of that name.

Pete Doherty, for breaching probation, one of his several run-ins with the law over drugs use.

Lord Alfred Douglas, Wilde's lover.

Leslie Grantham, the later actor who spent ten years in prison for murdering a taxi driver during a robbery in West Germany, where he was serving in the British Army.

Timmy Murphy, a jockey convicted of indecent assault on an air stewardess.

Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones.

John Stonehouse, a former government minister who faked his death to get away from false accouting charges. Which didn't work.

Wormwood Scrubs today

Wormwood Scrubs is a Category B prison, equivalent to the US federal 'Medium Security', with five wings (the last completed in 1996) and some smaller units. It holds around 1,200 prisoners. More than it really should, common to many prisons today.

It is also a listed building and so cannot be demolished - it may well close in the near future and become a museum.

Prisoners are given a uniform, but allowed to wear some of their own clothes after a while if they behave - white and black are banned to avoid confusion with prison officers.

It also holds those on remand awaiting trial or sentence. These do not wear prison uniform.

There are now options for video calls and prisoners can have landlines in their cells to call approved numbers, although officers can of course listen in. You can even send and receive emails to those inside, although not directly.

I will leave you with the 2021 inspection report on the prison:

Anyway, Bunny would not have had a nice time of it. Especially without Raffles...

[transacewithapan]

Fun Facts about Tipping Point {An Eddsworld Series}

Since this series is my life atm, I decided to point out some fun facts about the development and stuff about it :)

Pre-Dev Facts/Before I started writing it:

I had the idea implanted in my head months before I started writing it (about late December of 2022). I could NOT stop thinking about it...

It was between a one shot book and this series, and I am so glad I chose the series lmao

I had gotten into Eddsworld before Surf & Turf Wars part 1 came out. I had heard of it years ago, and of the character 'Tord,' but had no idea where he was from until it ('it' being 'The End part 1') showed up on my recommendation page on YouTube.

I also happened upon ASDF, which my brother had quoted most of the lines from when we were younger. He seemed frustrated at me for not watching it sooner lol. I also recommended him to watch Eddsworld, and he still hasn't.

Anyway, back to my series... originally, Matt was going to be trans, but that would've made his childhood much harder, and I would have to make his aunts and uncles (not Bing) to be much stricter as they expect "nothing but the best." I'm going to be uploading a side story about Matt's family soon :)

The only trans people in my story are Pat and Larry. There hasn't been any recognition that Larry is trans since it just seems out of place everywhere I make note of it... it'll be more in the side stories.

I don't know if I said this in my series, but Margaret is the name of Edd's mother. Her nickname is Margot (named after Margot Robbie)

William and Henry are named after characters in Five Nights at Freddy's; the Purple Guy and his ex-business partner.

During the process Facts:

There's a character 'sheet' that I plan to add in to Tied me to Your Family Tree. It lists facts about the characters, and what they're like.

I had no idea what I was doing with Lynnedslag lmao. I promise I'll do him 'better' in the side stories

I had to do so much research for this; to Norwegian military rankings to converting Norwegian kroner to British pounds to seeing what kind of weapons they use... it was hard.

Eos (landlady), Aspen (florist), Evelyne (florist's girlfriend), and Kali (landlady's sibling) are actual friends of mine :)

It's noted that Tord is demisexual, meaning he may feel romantic attraction, but it takes some time for him to feel sexually attracted towards someone until he forms a strong bond with them.

My other favorite ship aside from TomMatt is MattTord, and I tried so hard to make it seem like they didn't like each other in that way, especially with their side story lmao

Matt's father being blind was a challenge for me since this is my first(?) time writing a disabled character. I had no idea what I was doing... I do know that blind people tend to be independent and their senses are 10x better than the average human, like... wow, they can tell when the dryer is done even when they're upstairs or 20 feet away-

I didn't intend for the main villains to be the fathers- it's just my repressed daddy issues lol. at least you get Arthur and Henry (but he's not in it lol)

The final story takes place in 2033-34 (10-11 years in the future)

The chemical that Diwi had was called 'Venomous Agent X,' known for "disrupting the body's signaling between the nervous and muscular systems, leading to a prolonged neuromuscular blockade, flaccid paralysis of all the muscles in the body including the diaphragm, and death by asphyxiation." It had been used to assassinate Kim Jung Un's brother at an airport. -Wikipedia on VX (nerve agent)

Dr. Mike would be disappointed in me because I was medically inaccurate in chapter 1 of chained in servility... you're supposed to do CHEST COMPRESSIONS, CHEST COMPRESSIONS, CHEST COMPRESSIONS AAAAAAAAA

I think that's all the facts I can think of for now...

READ THE SERIES, NERDS - IT'S SO CLOSE TO BEING DONE

[loebleopoldwp]

Peek behind the curtain, but I've been watching hbomberguy's recent video on the plagiarism problem on youtube and would highly recommend it. I don't watch Leopold-Loeb youtube videos or listen to podcasts about them anymore, but it reminded me of how terrible and lazy most of them are. 99% of them are a person reading the Wikipedia or Simon Baatz's Smithsonian article while another person goes "woah," "oh how terrible," or cracking weak jokes.

For example, the popular youtube channel Legal Eagle did a video about them in 2020 which has over 1 million views. It's almost entirely taken from the Leopold-Loeb Wikipedia page and the 1925 article 'The Loeb-Leopold Murder of Franks in Chicago, May 21, 1924,' which can easily be accessed online with a quick google search. Specifically, his video is the wikipedia from the beginning until 7:15, then the article from 7:15-16:30. The rest is some original writing mixed with quotes from Darrow's closing argument seemingly taken from the wikipedia page.

If you read along for yourself you can see that things have been reworded and shortened and new inaccurate stuff has been made up, but from the beginning until 16:30 you can follow along with those two sources with no deviation in order. There are no sources given in the video, description or comments.

The shift from the wikipedia to the article is pretty jarring, as they're structurally very different, the article acting more as a timeline, so suddenly he begins giving times everything happened despite never doing that before.

The video also has a bunch of original art, but only three people are drawn based on actual photos of them: Crowe, Darrow and Caverly.

Leopold, Loeb, Mr. and Mrs. Franks, Bobby, George Porter Lewis, Lucille and Elizabeth Smith are drawn to look nothing like they actually did. Most people are wearing suspenders or overalls and seem to be dressed as farmers. The culvert, rented car, Leopold's home (drawn as a small shack) and Leopold's glasses also look nothing like they actually did. The drawings often contradict what the script is saying.

I considered making this a wordpress post with examples and more detail pointing out a lot of the inaccuracies, for example, did you know that the crime happened in 1929? That Leopold didn't speak until the age of 4 years old? That George Porter Lewis was a student in the zoology class Leopold taught?

I decided it wasn't worth it in 2020, and came to the same conclusion again tonight. I'd rather share new information than spend my time pointing out lazy research. But I cared enough to post about it a bit here, so some of that energy I had could be channeled somewhere.

[jdyf333]

from "ESP EXPERIMENTS WITH LSD-25 AND PSILOCYBIN: A Methodological Approach" by Roberto Cavanna and Emilio Servadio, 1964 by Davivid Rose Via Flickr: (They did NOT find any evidence that "extrasensory perception" [ESP] exists.) When I was 13 years old in 1964 and in the eighth grade, my parents were told that I was going to fail that year and have to do the eighth grade again unless I was allowed to go to Winston-Salem and participate in a residential "education experiment" called the "North Carolina Advancement School" (NCAS). After extensive testing I was told that I was to be part of an experiment in self-education. It was called "Group O". I was given an office, unlimited funding, and no adult supervision, free to come and go from the campus and the dorms as I saw fit. My family, who lived in a city quite distant from Winston-Salem, were NOT allowed to visit. I really had FUN! My research project was a study on the subject of ESP (extrasensory perception). I was already well-read on the subject and I contacted some researchers at a parapsychology lab at Duke University and J.B. Rhine and associates at the Foundation For Research On The Nature Of Man gave me valuable assistance in my work. When I read a report of experiments using LSD, etc. in ESP tests, I was fascinated. Having no access to LSD, I designed tests where I had my subjects (some hypnotized and some not) sniff glue. In other tests I administered electric shocks, sometimes in addition to hypnosis and glue-sniffing... ("...you are opening the gates of hell!!!..." ---powerful North Carolina legislator's wife, yelling at me about my ESP research, during her visit to NCAS.) ("The intake of drugs in connection with divinatory practices is probably as old as mankind." ---Cavanna and Servadio.) ("The results indicated accurate comparisons in approximately 1 in 3 of the targets for LSD, with a rate of only 1 in 10 for the no-drug control condition." ---David P. Luke, commenting on the research by Cavanna and Servadio, in "Psychedelic Substances and Paranormal Phenomena: A Review of the Research", the Rhine Research Center, in the Journal of Parapsychology, Durham, North Carolina, 2008. Rhine was a Christian, unfortunately. Some of his associates also had similar delusions and thus suffered from mental illness. It has been said that some of them falsified data. I definitely do not trust what the Rhine Research Center says.) ("In 1964, Federico Fellini experimented with LSD under the supervision of Emilio Servadio, his psychoanalyst during the 1954 production of La Strada." ---Wikipedia) ("HALLUCINOGEN---An intoxicant and narcotic, according to the additives used. It produces telepathy, fantastic visions, hallucinations, and other psychic effects. It is precognitive and psychic in its results." ---from page H-3, TABER'S CYCLOPEDIC MEDICAL DICTIONARY by Clarence Wilbur Taber [10th edition, 1965]. [I think the above definition is rather weird...]) ("MORE THAN HUMAN is a sci-fi novel by Theodore Sturgeon...in which a band of exceptional people 'blesh' [that is, blend and mesh] their consciousness to create a kind of super-being. 'I turned everyone on to that book in, like, 1965...This is what we can do; this is what we can be.'" ---Phil Lesh, quoted by Nick Paumgarten, The New Yorker, 11.26. 2012.) I was a big fan of science-fiction novels. More than a few of them mentioned J.B. Rhine and his famous ESP research. (Rhine was said to have been the person who coined the initialism ESP.) I was quite thrilled to have made contact with Rhine, and I am rather certain that I was unconsciously driven to inaccurately interpret my so-called "evidence" in such a way as to make it appear that ESP exists. ("There is more to a library than meets the eye": If you email me at jdyf333@gmail.com I will be more than pleased to email you a free copy of my 1,448-item annotated bibliography of drug literature.) A randomly-edited selection of approximately 700 of my pictures may be viewed by clicking on the link below: www.flickr.com/groups/psychedelicart/pool/43237970@N00/ Please click here to read my "autobiography": thewordsofjdyf333.blogspot.com/ And my Flicker "profile" page may be viewed by clicking on this link: www.flickr.com/people/jdyf333/ My telephone number is: 510-260-9695

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed - Episode 02

Warning: Spoilers for all 50 episodes!

(Masterpost ) (Previous Episode) (Next Episode)

Donkey Riding

way ho and away we go, donkey riding donkey riding way ho and away we go, riding on a donkey

Wei Wuxian and Apple are doing their best for the Ministry of Culture and Tourism. 

Xiao Zhan had trouble riding the donkey sitting side-saddle, so the Department of Questionable Practical Effects made him a fake leg to wear while riding regular style. 

Can you spot it? It’s very hard to spot. It is very convincing.

Simple Pleasures

Wei Wuxian takes his time wandering up the nearest mountain, and half of the cultivators in the land also wander up this mountain because...Night Hunting! The cultivators are hot and thirsty from walking because they forgot that they all know how to fly. 

Wei Wuxian relaxes by a well and listens to people stanning him. 

Also

I’m going to say it: Wei Wuxian never met a drinking vessel he couldn’t blow.

Everything is Beautiful at the Ballet

The actress who plays A-Yan is named Zhang Linran. She probably has studied dance since she was 4 and now she gets her big break which turns out to be feeding an apple to a donkey. So let’s pause for a second to look at how beautifully she moves.  

Reunions are Awkward, Part 1

Wei Wuxian meets up with one of his family members and it goes super well. 

I...like Jin Ling? He’s much less of a douchebag than his dad, his uncles Jin, Jiang, and Mo (the three stooges), and every damn one of his Jin cousins. He’s genuinely brave (his Dad’s primary good quality) and his hair is on fleek. He’s still a whiny diaper baby, but I like him. 

(much more after the cut!)

Then Jiang Cheng shows up, looking fine as hell and radiating peak arrogant-prick energy.

When he discovers that ‘Mo Xuanyu” stuck a piece of paper to Jin Ling, he tells the child to literally murder him. Excellent uncleing! A+++++ would recommend.  

“In fact, literally murder anyone who uses Yiling Laozu’s tools, like talismans, lure flags, or spirit compasses - basically murder everyone in the Lan Clan plus those other fanboys we saw coming up the hill. Then get out there and make some friends, goddamn it!”

These nets full of cultivators on this daytime night hunt are the only time we ever see anything in a net during a night hunt.  In fact dudes constantly go night hunting and the only prey we ever see is rock lady, murder turtle, and a couple of rag mops in the lake. 

You Are Not Qualified to Speak to Me

Also radiating arrogant-prick energy on this occasion is Lan Wangji. He has been using pettiness as a weapon since long before he met this Jiang Cheng turkey, and he *brings it* when Jiang Cheng tries to have a conversation with him.

Letting your eyes wander everywhere except to his punchable face while you ignore his passive-aggressive questions? Quality work. 

Dropping a silence spell on his child and then letting your own child explain it to him? Golden. 

Lan Wangji is never ever going to forgive Jiang Cheng for what he did on cliff day, and his silence here is as pointed as an ice pick. I suspect the last words Lan Wangji actually spoke to him were “Jiang Wanyin, stop it,” sixteen years ago. 

Jiang Cheng is actually the bigger person in this particular interaction, visibly mastering his temper and telling Jin Ling to take his medicine. 

Reflecting

Wei Wuxian hangs out by a beautiful river and hallucinates for a while. River Jiang Yanli is nurturing and River Jiang Cheng is pissed off, so there are no surprises there.  River Jiang Cheng thinks that Wei Wuxian is a promise-breaking douchebag. He’s not exactly wrong. 

Courtesy of convenient gossiping cultivators, Wei Wuxian discovers that the 16 year old arrogant kid from the Jin clan who his brother from the Jiang clan has custody of is actually and quite obviously Jin Rulan.

Well fuck I guess now I care about something, that’s inconvenient. 

Needing to help parent the child of the sister who parented him is what draws Wei Wuxian fully into his new life. 

As soon as he has this realization, Apple comes back from roaming around, and never gives him any trouble after this for the rest of the story. Which...probably doesn’t mean anything. 

Wen Gravesite

Does Wen Ning hang out here because it’s where he and his (dead) people came from? Oh great, now I am sad. 

Judging by all the leaves on this grave thingy I’m going to say that this grave tender dude is, ah, not very good at his job. 

Get him, Jingyi!

I feel like maybe we all focus too much on how Lan Jingyi is so hilarious and sardonic and not enough on how he is a such a biscuit. 

Soul Grass

As mentioned in the previous post, Chinese spiritual concepts don’t always translate well into English. Soul grass? Sure, why not. 

This is where Wei Wuxian’s Sherlock Holmes brain starts to work, although he still doesn’t remember really basic stuff about Dafan Mountain. Dying and changing bodies is rough on the old neurochemistry. This creates more opportunities for flashbacks, however, and if there’s one thing The Untamed deffo needs more of, it’s kissing flashbacks.

Temple Statue

Presumably grave-tender dude is also in charge of clearing away spiderwebs at the temple, because it’s not getting done. 

Jin Ling walks into the temple blaspheming at full volume. 

Since this isn’t a Greek story, he isn’t immediately struck blind for this. Then when he wishes for the statue to come alive, it obligingly does.  Everything’s coming up Rulan!

Wei Wuxian shows up to rescue all the kids by throwing talismans at the monster which does not tip anyone off to who he is. 

Baby Cultivator Babysitting

Lan Wangji chills out in the cultivators’ pavilion with Jiang Cheng and their mutual hate boners.

Meanwhile, Wei Wuxian forgets all about his nephew and turns into cool professor guy, explaining the basics of soul-eating to the baby cultivators and gleefully encouraging their fear of Hanguang-Jun’s punishments. 

Because the Lan babies are good filial children they are super respectful and engaged with this random adult who is lecturing them. They also - like their own Hanguang-Jun at their age - see and admire Wei Wuxian’s intellect. It’s easy to forget how extremely smart Wei Wuxian is, because of how extremely dumb Wei Wuxian is.

Lan Jingyi suddenly figures out Wei Wuxian is not crazy. 

Bis. Kit. 

Then Rock Lady shows up and Jin Ling sticks 6 arrows into her while Lans Jingyi and Sizhui stand around not bothering to draw their swords.

I see a lot of comments about the bad effects in the statue sequences but I think Rock Lady is all right. The figure animation is decent and the lighting is no worse on her than on everything else in the scene. Her hair is nice, for a rock person.

Admittedly I just finished watching Guardian which has CGI monsters so bad they may have injured my retinas and possibly also my DNA, so the bar, for me, is pretty low. Rock lady clears it with room to spare.   

Note: Wei Wuxian’s flute playing does zippity towards controlling the statue. Not sure what his plan was here.

Wen Ning Kicks Ass

Now we get to meet Wen Ning, who appears to be a stone-cold badass. Later we will discover how hilariously inaccurate that assessment is. 

While all versions of Wen Ning are delightful, this version of Wen Ning is also...strangely attractive? He’s got a Patti-Smith-Horses-Era vibe here, instead of his more usual lost-baby-dork vibe. And his dreamy “I have nails in my head” expression is intriguing. 

I mean, he’s not a total snack like zombie Song Lan or pre-zombie Song Lan or blind Song Lan or post-zombie Song Lan, but this look is a good one for Wen Ning, is what I’m saying.

Reunions are Awkward, Part 2

Lan Wangji, who has 99% already recognized Wei Wuxian because of the haunted sword and the fierce jawline and beautiful neck and tiny tiny waist, is summoned by his flute playing as inexorably as the Ghost General was. 

Jiang Cheng also recognizes Wei Wuxian and goes into full beatdown mode, thwarted (silently) by Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian attempts to preserve his incognito by sassing Jiang Cheng in as sibling-like a manner as possible. 

Hanguang-Jun’s Pro-Ghost Agenda Has Been Clear for Some Time

This Jiang/Lan fight is hilarious when you consider the implications.

Macroexpression vs. Microexpression

Mo Xuanyu brought Wei Wuxian back using sacrifice summons, a dark ritual invented by Wei Wuxian that he, most likely, did NOT show to Lan Wangji back in the day. So it’s a pretty safe bet that Lan Wangji doesn’t know that Wei Wuxian was gifted a body, rather than stealing one.

when your brother turns around, you must whip him you will never live it down unless you whip him

When Jiang Cheng lets loose with Zidian, it’s not just because he’s angry. He’s using purple power to force Wei Wuxian’s ghost out of the body he’s apparently possessed. And Lan Wangji instantly STOPS him from doing that.

Clan Leader Jiang: this person has been possessed, against their will, by an evil ghost

Future Chief Cultivator Lan: Counterpoint: I am banging the ghost

Flashback Time

Welcome to your 30-episode flashback!

Once I used to join in Every boy and girl was my friend Now there's revolution, but they don't know What they're fighting

Let us close our eyes Outside their lives go on much faster Oh, we won't give in We'll keep living in the past

Road Tripping to Summer School

Gosh I’m looking forward to younger, kinder, more relatable Jiang Cheng.

...prick. 

Incidentally, until now this episode didn’t know that Jiang Cheng has smile muscles, and neither did the person who glued his wig on for him.

I Like Rabbits

Here we have our first rabbit in a large collection of rabbit iconography that appears in The Untamed. 

Instead of sending everyone to the Wikipedia page for Tu'er Shen I’m going to take this opportunity to rec the short film Kiss of the Rabbit God by Andrew Thomas Huang (tw: blood, tw:body-mod cutting) which you can read about and watch over at  Nowness.com 

Particularly if you are a queer person of Chinese heritage, check it out. 

So. What the fuck are these? Are they food? 

Are they made from wax? Or corn starch? or pig intestines? 

Wei Wuxian runs off to get laid drunk and Jiang Cheng grumps about it. Jiang Yanli reminds him that being free is a Jiang Clan Rule, so really Wei Wuxian is following the rules by not following the rules. Does that mean he’s not free? My head hurts. 

Jiang Cheng: yes but grump grump grump

Jiang Yanli: Nothing bad will ever happen because of A-Xian’s choices, trust me

Outro

Wei Wuxian faint tally: one  Caught by: the cold hard ground

Soundtrack: 1. Donkey Riding by Great Big Sea 2. Living in the Past by Jethro Tull 3. Whip It by Devo

Fic prompt:  Lan Wangji’s internal monologue while he sits in the pavilion with Jiang Cheng 

If you write a fic from this prompt and want to share, please post a link in comments!

Bonus: Wang Zuocheng, macro-expression king

Episode 03 Restless Rewatch coming soon!

[quillify-tries-to-talk]

I think I figured out the problems in Roshani Chokshi and Sandhya Menon's books (as much as I love them, their Indian rep doesn't resonate with me as much as I'd hoped).

DISCLAIMER: not hating. There are valid issues that PoC face in foreign countries and I'm not trying to invalidate them. This is just an opinion

A little background first. Contrary to what you're shown in Hollywood movies, south asian countries are not a wasteland of forests and slums, but the situation isn't great, either.

Majority of the population is somewhere in the middle class rungs that often comes with a plethora of issues starting from academic pressure to feelings of guilt and anxiety over spending money on yourself. And that is just the tip of the iceberg. (Colonial trauma is a bitchy, vicious cycle).

It is a privilege to leave the country, to have enough money to live an entire ocean away. Not all of us will ever be able to do that so we'll have to deal with whatever shit is thrown in our faces by the society and government (the CAA/NRC act, privatization of govt institutions, the farmer bills that aren't actually pro-farmer, covering up atrocities in the most outlandish ways, controlling media houses so actual news never reaches common people, catering to billionaires, mismanaging the pandemic and opening your eyes only when you see the ashes).

Not to mention a lot of Non-Resident Indians (NRIs) are wealthy, upper caste people, absolutely cloistered from the atrocities that occur everyday against marginalized communities.

So when I read books by Indian-American authors, my feelings are mixed. If they're set in historical times my anger is through the roof. Let's take an example.

Laila from The Gilded Wolves by Roshani Chokshi gave me immense joy at first for being beautiful, bold brown girl. But as I read further, my feelings started to grow more negative.

It's because of the way Chokshi did zero research on South Asian colonization of the British while waxing poetic about the tragic fates of her male characters. Laila is from Pondicherry, and the French colonized that place (we only get mentions of forests and magicians because apparently that's all there was in the 1800s, huh :))). We have no idea how she ended up in Paris, or how as an 18 year old brown girl she took up a job as a courtesan/sex worker (I don't have a problem with sex work, but I would like to know how she got that job and I would like to see her childhood and trauma explored. Okay, Severin gets pages of backstories about his fathers but his love interest doesn't?). She didn't have a surname first while everyone else did. And now, in the second book we move with the fact that we have zero ideas for her real name too. For a book that's about colonization, desi history gets ignored by the author, and instead Laila is sexualized af. I'd like to ask what's her role in the story beyond causing Severin angst, baking, reading objects for him, and being a generally sweet person? Chokshi keeps *telling* me that she isn't there for Severin and is her own person, but where's the proof? She has no backstory, no name, and no role beyond romance and smexy courtesan.

Like Wikipedia has a whole ass page. Wouldn't have taken much to just Google it all. And for an author of south asian ethnicity to ignore this, the way white historians do? Reeks of privilege.

Her MG series, The Pandava Quartet, is also set in America. A story.... about Hindu mythological legends... in America.... it was jarring to read, honestly. For once in my life I'd like to see something *not* being set in America. America is not the center of the world for crying out loud.

Same with Sandhya Menon's books. We'll leave out her twisted idea of feminism: gurls ruleeesss!! Boys droolzz. It was very obvious in When Dimple Met Rishi, with the way Dimple kept hitting and punching Rishi, and it was deemed as badass. All her boys have the same archetype: Love Interest Cameras.

Y'know, romance works with *two* characters, right? Two of them, each bringing something to the table for a healthy, balanced relationship that progresses slowly through various stages (because real life often isn't a Bollywood movie). Boys need to have good role models and a role beyond "hot, sexy love interest." Y'all have become the very thing you swore to destroy.

Wait, I derailed. Sorry.

Ahem. Back to the topic.

I shouldn't have been shocked, but I truly was while reading Menon's books. It just made me realize the privilege a lot of NRIs have and they don't even realize it.

Case in point: most of Menon's characters are all wealthy and loaded af, and that makes them extremely hard to relate to. They are disconnected from their culture, they don't speak any of the native languages, not even a little bit. The little mentions we got were so inaccurate, they made me grit my teeth and make a whole post about it. It feels as though she just slapped a south asian name on a white—I'm not even gonna call them characters—they're basically puppets for her romances (who tf kisses right into 3-4 chapters of a book, c'mon!).

I'd have expected such disconnect from a white author *side-eyes Cassandra Clare*, but not from someone of my own ethnicity. It was heartbreaking. I'm sorry if you don't agree but I had to get this off my chest

Again, BIPOC in foreign countries have issues that need to be examined, but we keep forgetting that most of them aren't in America. We're living in our countries, and there are a host of marginalized communities whose stories need to be heard, now more than ever.

[kellyvela]

Help! Is Sansa's page on wiki of ice & fire written by s@ns@n? I went there for first time to check some sansa info, only to see over focus on that tertiary character instead. It has more dump about their canon scenes inaccurately described like fanon metas than actual solo sansa stuff that's more important. Even the fanarts are about him. Sansa deserves better than this. If I hadn't read asoiaf, I would think he is main character & she is his side kick love interest 😭. Pls suggest diff sources

Is Sansa's page on wiki of ice & fire written by s@ns@n?

This sadly seems to be true.

At the end of the page you can read this:

This page uses content from the English Wikipedia. The original content was at House Stark. The list of authors can be seen in the page history of House Stark. As with A Wiki of Ice and Fire, the content of Wikipedia is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.

And Wikipedia articles can be written and edited by anyone, as far as I know..........

I went there for first time to check some sansa info, only to see over focus on that tertiary character instead.

This fandom treats him like a protagonist, byronic hero...

It has more dump about their canon scenes inaccurately described like fanon metas than actual solo sansa stuff that's more important.

This is sadly true, the Sansa Asoiaf Wiki is full of made up stuff from those shippers.

To warn Sansa about dangers she faces, Sandor Clegane tells the girl how his brother, Ser Gregor Clegane, burned his face.

He's is no POV, so how do they know this? He was angry at her calling his brother a knight.

Sansa develops a unique relationship with Sandor, who despite his brusque words and hideous demeanor treats her gently, protects her, and refuses to beat her at Joffrey's command. He privately mocks her for her naive nature but also displays sympathy for her predicament.

Oh look: "treats her gently" AND "mocks her" next to each other in the same sentence....

He never refused to beat her at Joffrey's command, Joffrey never asked him before and the only time he did, Dontos intervened, so we don't know if he would have refused Joffrey's orders or not...

After briefly thinking that it is Sandor and not Lothor who rescued her, Sansa dreams of Sandor in her marriage bed, as well as the deaths of Joffrey and Robb.

Sansa first dreamed about the deaths of Joffrey and Robb, then she dreamed of Tyrion during her wedding night and then Tyrion morphed into the hound. It was a nightmare about traumatizing events that the fandom and shippers believe it was a wet dream.

She also dreamed of marrying Joffrey that later morphed into Ilyn Payne. Was that a wet dream as well???

Even the fanarts are about him.

This is awful. And most of the fan-art pieces are a romanticization of the Blackwater scene, not the rape attempt that that really was.

Sansa deserves better than this.

YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

If I hadn't read asoiaf, I would think he is main character & she is his side kick love interest 😭.

Oh boy, this fandom and shippers write long ass essays claiming he is a byronic hero worthy to be compared with Lord Byron himself and even with King Arthur.........

Pls suggest diff sources

You can check here on tumblr, @sansakatara and @falconstarfall, write a lot about Sansa. They also reblog a lot from other blogs focused on Sansa.

(If you want to read my takes, my metas are compiled in my Sansa Blog. I mostly write about Jon and Sansa but I have some pieces that focused only on Sansa as well.)

[rosesloveletters]

As we approach the anniversary of Heath Ledger’s passing, I would like to use my platform to discuss a few things I find increasingly important that we, as fans, keep in mind: Do NOT mock his death. Do NOT harass his family, friends, etc. (don’t ever do this, but especially not this week or the day of.) Do NOT use his death to signify your online presence. Those of us who appreciate this hard-working, loving, giving soul deserve the freedom of expression granted to us, given that we remain within the bounds of positivity, consideration for others and for Heath Ledger himself. 

(image: Heath photographed for The West Australian on June 9th, 2001.)

I implore you to treat everyone with respect and to honor Heath in a way in which you would honor a loved one; be kind, courteous, respectful and tactful whenever you are discussing his passing and remain conscious of others and their feelings regarding this subject. It is a subject of sensitivity for many and I ask that you consider how others might feel when approached with the topic. Do NOT pass around photos of him that the paparazzi took on that fateful day. This is a blatant disregard for Heath and his privacy; He was unable to consent to having those photos taken, for obvious reasons, and I am certain that he would not have consented, given his distaste for the paparazzi and having felt as though his life was ‘on display’. 

Remember to treat him and others with respect. It is the bare minimum of common courtesy when dealing with such a raw topic; Heath would be honored by how most choose to remember him and I think that he would be humbled by the legacy he’s left behind.

On another, more important note, we must to remember a few things regarding the late Heath Ledger: 

He did not die because of his role as The Joker in ‘The Dark Knight’. 

He did NOT die of a suicide. 

Heath was struggling with insomnia, illness, his break-up with Michelle and (presumably) depression (though I don’t believe that was ever officially confirmed) at the time of his passing and we must remember how sensitive a subject this is, for his family, loved ones, friends and fans alike. 

For more factual information on his passing, I recommend visiting these links provided: 

Friends and Family Remember His Final Weeks 

Some important quotes from this article to take into consideration: 

“Gerry Grennell, Ledger’s friend and dialect coach who lived and worked with the star while he was shooting The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus in the final weeks of his life, spoke with PEOPLE in 2017 for a cover story on Ledger, nine years after the actor’s death. He recalled his friend being “exhausted, emotionally and physically” while battling a lingering pneumonia-type illness.”

“Grennell said the star’s mood was low. “He missed his girl, he missed his family, he missed his little girl — he desperately wanted to see her and hold her and play with her,” he added, referring to Ledger’s former girlfriend Michelle Williams and their then-2-year-old daughter, Matilda. “He was desperately unhappy, desperately sad.””

But in his final weeks, Grennell said Ledger knew he was spiraling. Still, he couldn’t stop himself from taking the pills. “He said, ‘I got to stop, it’s not helping, I’m not well, it’s making me feel more upset,’” Grennell continued. “It wasn’t helping with the relationship issues, it wasn’t helping with missing his kid, it wasn’t helping his sleeping — and he knew that.”

“Being such a social guy, having to be a bit of a hermit, or wear hats and glasses was super annoying,” he added, describing the lengths to which Ledger went to avoid the paparazzi. “His happiest I remember was times like when we were in Bondi on the beach catching waves, and nobody really looking his way, and when he moved to Brooklyn and could walk around with nobody bothering him.”

Heath Ledger’s Father Kim Speaks of Son’s Death - Trigger Warning: Kim Ledger mentions seeing EMS removing Heath’s body from his home in new York. This video and its message is EXTREMELY important; if you choose to view no other material listed here, please watch this short interview. 

Statements Made by Heath Ledger’s Sisters

Heath Ledger’s Sisters Clear Up Rumors About His Death In New Documentary

Some important quotes from this article to take into consideration: 

Though the doc doesn't elaborate on the "demons" that plagued Ledger's final days, it does change the narrative about his mental state at that time. According to the actor's family, Ledger's role in The Dark Knight didn't depress him, as so many tabloids had reported. It energized him."It was coming out that he was depressed and it was taking a toll, and we were going, 'What?'" Bell said. "It was the absolute opposite," Kate Ledger added. "He had an amazing sense of humor, and I guess only his close family and friends really knew that. But he was having fun. He wasn’t depressed about The Joker."

That's about as far as the film delves into Ledger's death. Instead, I Am Heath Ledger chooses to focus on his life. It may not be a complete picture of the actor, but after nearly a decade of rampant rumors and tabloid gossip, it's nice to see Heath through his own lens.

Speculation into Heath’s passing has been vast, leaving much to the media to exaggerate and perpetuate; there is very little evidence or proof that lends to the fact that Heath was an ‘addict’ as has been portrayed, however this statement can be found on his Wikipedia page: 

“Ledger was "widely reported to have struggled with substance abuse.” Following Ledger's death, Entertainment Tonight aired video footage from 2006 in which Ledger stated that he "'used to smoke five joints a day for 20 years” and news outlets reported that his drug abuse had prompted Williams to request that he move out of their apartment in Brooklyn. Ledger's publicist asserted that some reportage regarding Ledger and drugs had been inaccurate.”

When discussing his death, please keep in mind that a large portion about his personal life has been over-exaggerated and therefore, research is key.

Heath’s private life is not something we should pry into and we should be respectful of the fact that we simply do not have the information to conclusively determine certain theories. It is among human nature to ask questions and want answers, but it is our responsibility to know what is appropriate and how we should go about researching such a topic. 

Do not pry into Heath’s private life; be mindful of the information you choose to share and treat him as you would treat any other person. Just because he is a “celebrity” does NOT mean that every detail of his life should be public access. Treat him how you would want to be treated; you are not entitled to his private life, nor is anyone other than those he was closest to. 

We have countless interviews and testimonies to his character from family and friends, those of which prove to be the most accurate. 

Check out this video: Famous People Talking About Heath Ledger to hear some of these positive testaments to his character.

Drug abuse is a very serious matter; I do not condone Heath’s decision to abuse prescription drugs, nor should any fan; his death provides a testament to the dangers of prescription pills and we should remember to be mindful of their effect. Prescription drug abuse is a serious matter and we should not overlook the seriousness of it.

If you or someone you know is suffering from Opioid drug abuse, visit the link provided for the CDC’s help and resources

Please remain respectful while researching his passing and use discretion. Information perpetuated by the media has proved time and time again to be harmful to those in the limelight and Heath was a victim of that as well. Respect the fact that we do not know of his private life and accept that we do not have the right to know. There is a large amount of information present, providing speculation into this subject and I advise you to research with caution, as some of it is damaging to Heath’s character. 

Most importantly, use this time to remember Heath for the incredibly gifted and talented soul that he was. As fans, it is important not only to understand his passing, but to keep his legacy alive through the ways in which we choose to honor and remember him. 

Heath Ledger’s death was a tragedy. His family and friends still grieve his passing and his daughter, Matilda, is without a father due to his premature death. Please be respectful and courteous of this and honor Heath in a way in which he would be proud of. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this lengthy post. With much controversy surrounding Ledger’s death, I felt it necessary to speak out on a couple of things, especially with the anniversary of his death coming up. Please feel free to add onto this post any way you would like, especially if you find more information that is factual and important to share within the community.

 I will reiterate: BE RESPECTFUL. BE COURTEOUS. BE KIND. Do NOT harass his family and friends. Do NOT mock his death. Do NOT share offensive/upsetting images or media that is damaging to his character, now or ever. Respect others who choose to use this time simply to remember this wonderful man for all that he was and do not discuss his passing with anyone who might be triggered by the mentioning of it. 

This community is a loving, caring and amazing place where we choose to remember Heath in our own ways and keep his memory alive through the creations and art we all share. Build each other up and listen to one another; treat each other as if you are looking at Heath directly and show the world the same kindness he showed while he was among us. 

Thank you. 

[ectonurites]

Conner Kent in Suicide Squad/the Infinite Frontier era: wtf is going on

Alright lads hello I just need to type out some theories/thoughts about what’s going on with my boy Kon right now. This is more for myself than anything else (just trying to organize my thoughts) but since some of y’all like to hear me talk about comics (and some of this discussion has already been happenin in my inbox) I figured i’d format it and put it on here too! its like 4k words and written over the last few days mostly at 3am. sorry <3 

this is basically just me going like

Also fair warning that like, I can be wrong and misinterpret things just as much as anyone else can, like I use panels to support why I think what I do but a lot of this stuff is subjective/complicated to understand so like... in general somethings should be taken with a grain of salt, especially because exactly what changes to the universe were made by Death Metal/Infinite Frontier haven’t been super super clearly defined yet. Also sometimes comic writers make the most random nonsensical shit happen, so I as a fan am also allowed to theorize about random nonsensical shit.

But to start: let’s backtrack!

Many months ago when Infinite Frontier was first announced they dropped some promotional art, and I remember being a little confused because. Well:

(Variant Cover spread for Justice League (2018) #59)

(Variant Cover spread for Superman (2018) #29)

Notice how Conner is back to his Teen Titans 2003 look up top, but in his YJ 2019 look at the bottom? This seemed weird to me! But then they announced that Conner would be part of the Suicide Squad ongoing title, in the T-shirt look, so I wrote this discrepancy off in my brain as ‘oh I guess that cover was just the last hurrah for punk Kon’ and moved on with life.

In Suicide Squad right away we learn he’s very much so there against his will:

(Suicide Squad (2021) #1)

Which corroborates more or less what we were also shown in Future State: Suicide Squad, although admittedly it tells... a slightly different version of the events. When I first saw both of these together I just chalked it up to being a bit inaccurate as it’s shown as a memory in Future State:

(Future State: Suicide Squad #2)

Issue 2 we saw him in action with the Squad, trying to do his best to still be a hero despite the team, but things get a little more interesting in the following issue. It starts off with an account of his history

(Suicide Squad (2021) #3)

This page gave me a few immediate red flags, mostly minor things that had to do with coloring, so more irl problems than things to take seriously in-universe (Kon’s pants are the wrong color in the first Superboy shot, and Bart’s Impulse costume is in Kid Flash colors instead of the correct Impulse ones) but then also it just bugged me the phrasing “he joined Young Justice” when he was a founder of the team, he didn’t join it he made it with Tim and Bart.

But again, chalked that stuff up to just.... writers/artists being inconsistent/unaware of things that they should be aware of, or even Nocturna just not being specific with details. But it did still strike me as a little odd considering the very accurate use of villains in those same shots, Scavenger who was a reoccurring bad guy from Kon’s solo days and showed up basically nowhere else (even holding the Spear of Lono and everything!) and Billy/Harm (Greta’s brother) from Young Justice.

But then a few pages later we got this:

(Suicide Squad (2021) #3)

Which is interesting. My first instinct was to think he’s being drugged w kryptonite or something thats leaving him hazy/out of it, but my thoughts on that have kinda changed, we’ll get there in a bit. But in general the context of ‘something’s wrong’ made the slight discrepancies on some details of his own history make more sense.

I also want to then bring up the next part to this story, the crossover issue in Teen Titans Academy.

(Teen Titans Academy #3)

So a few things. Does it feel weird to anyone else that Conner Kent, a known previous Titan who literally has a framed picture of himself in a case there, would set off alarm sensors like that? Wouldn’t he be... recognized as a Titan not an intruder by their sensors? Interesting! Anyways.

He looks really pained looking at that picture, and sad, and almost frustrated, which ya know makes sense and hurts my heart because he misses them! He misses his friends and being happy. 

But, importantly for a criticism I wanna make thats less theory related and more just me bein annoyed at Tim Sheridan, that’s a picture of Conner. Right there. That’s Superboy, on display at Teen Titans Academy, so the people who frequent this building would know who he is and what he looks like and be able to recognize him, he’s even in the same outfit and everything. Alinta recognized him at the end of Suicide Squad #3. 

So why does only one person during this big fight then comment on his presence?? Why doesn’t it get a bigger reaction???

(Teen Titans Academy #3)

And after the fight we don’t see any on panel moment of Wallace going up to the staff Titans (who weren’t present for the fight) and saying like “HEY NIGHTWING UHHH SUPERBOY WAS WITH THE SUICIDE SQUAD?” we just see him talking with his friends upset about Crush leaving. We see Alinta talking to them but we don’t see the exact dialogue. So I do just wanna take the writer by the shoulders and shake him a little bit and ask WHY because that just feels like... something you’d wanna address on panel! This is like the first time since joining the squad that Kon’s at all in contact with people from his life before Waller got involved, I feel like not addressing those people’s reactions to it/not discussing it at least a little bit on panel (especially when Conner CAME UP in the previous TTA issue, Dick brought him up and everything!!!) is a really odd choice. Maybe it’ll happen next issue and i’m just impatient, but who knows. Anyways, gripes with Sheridan aside, lets move on.

I wanna bring up how Conner... doesn’t really respond to Wallace’s question? At all? Except to just fight him off, not even an attempt at a ‘Sorry’ or anything? (the ‘Ha! That all you got?!’ seems to be coming from Culebra not Conner, although the placement of the bubble is vague enough it could be that it was supposed to be Conner? but it seems more like what she’d say, especially as she’s grabbing Emiko like that) That just feels weird. It feels off. In general he speaks so little in Suicide Squad #3 and this issue. Tbh it almost feels like he doesn’t really recognize Wallace which I mean I suppose they never exactly met (they would have theoretically during Death Metal, basically all past/present Titans were together for a while during that), but Kon’s been back in existing long enough he’d have a sense of who current heroes are anyways.

But right, so, lots of little things that feel weird... that gets us caught up to the most recently released comics... but in this household we look at solicits as they drop. Which gives us some info on what’s coming up a few months ahead of time, albeit without full context obviously. Issues #4 and #5 don’t mention Conner in their descriptions or show him on the covers at all, because there’s just other plot things going on, so ya know seems things will be quiet for him for a bit.

But then we got the August solicitations and oh BOY it’s a doozey for him! And some things start to kinda connect perhaps!

I want to just take a moment to look at that specific wording. “The teen calling himself Conner Kent” I’m probably reading too much into it but that feels deliberate, like why wouldn’t you just say ‘Conner Kent’? Usually these kinds of descriptions are trying to keep a low word count, not add in extra words that don’t need to be there. It makes it feel like that’s a name he’s using that... doesn’t actually belong to him.

So the theory I want to propose (that has been floating around already) is that based on these covers and the description, and how the Conner we’ve been seeing in Suicide Squad apparently talks about his own personal history like he’s ‘reading a wikipedia entry’ and had little response to people he should be aware of like Wallace and apparently isn’t recognized as a Titan through a bio-scan and also bearing in mind those initial promo arts with two separate looks at the same time for him... I think we're looking at a situation where the Conner in Suicide Squad so far has actually been a clone of original Conner (like... like he’s Match 2.0 or somethin) the whole time, that’s just not aware he’s not the original. 

Now that’s the base theory I wanna work with and build off of, but there’s MANY different directions that could go in/ways that could work.

For example, one idea is that the Conner we saw in #1 who was chained up is the original Conner, and he’s been being cloned and held captive, so everything else with Conner in Suicide Squad so far has been this Match 2.0 

Another idea could be the original Conner in #1 is also the Conner in #2 who Waller had then commented wasn’t ready during the mission in Arkham and had zapped with a lil Kryptonite, and after that moment she took him off the field because his spirit hadn’t been broken enough to be obedient (as he was a lot quieter in Issue #3 & the TTA crossover compared to #2, and #3 is when the Nocturna thing with the history happened)

Or it could even be original Conner in #1, then in #2 was one clone that wasn’t ‘ready’ that after that point she stopped using him, and switched to a diff clone for #3, because like that first cover did show a LOT of clones. That could be more just ‘artistic interpretation’ or something, covers sometimes do exaggerate/mislead, but it also could indicate we’re looking at a lot of clones.

(Suicide Squad (2021) #2)

With all of those in mind I also wanna bring up this little bit from Future State Suicide Squad:

(Future State: Suicide Squad #2)

Again Future State is a ‘possible future’ so stuff from it isn’t set in stone, but the idea of ‘she still has his YJ 2019 outfit somewhere’ makes me think it could be something along the lines of like, Clone!Conner finds original Conner and frees him and he gets back his YJ outfit, which could lead to like the imagery on that variant cover/the idea from my very first part of this post where I was talking about Kon being shown in both outfits in different places.

Alternatively entirely from all that, another option is that she maybe got ahold of what was needed to clone Kon, but doesn’t even have the original Kon in her possession. (again with the Future State thing, she could be lying since elsewhere in Future State we did also see a copy of YJ 2019 Kon’s costume in one of the Jon-focused Future State comics in a display case 🤷‍♂️) Which could also lead to that confrontation on the variant cover & the promo art thing... and could also explain why we have seen nothing about anyone looking for him, because in that sort of scenario he wouldn’t have even been missing in the first place.

There’s a lot of possibilities! It’s still too early to solidly know anything, but I feel pretty confident we’re entering another cloning related plot with our Clone Boy so it’s... ya know. Clone time. On the one hand it’s annoying because god we have done clone/multiple Kons plots before. We’ve done them so much.

BUT on the other hand, I think it could be interesting to use this situation to tie into some older stuff from pre-reboot that I can see some connections to, because due to Infinite Frontier altering the world and people’s memories it’s all technically fair game storytelling-wise again (and like, the use of Scavenger specifically in that flashback way above, who’s not a super well known villain in general, makes me think maaaaybe the writer did do some of their Kon homework)

Something also just dawned on me that i’m not quite sure what it means but still is worth mentioning: The Conner here in Suicide Squad is back in his Teen Titans Vol. 3 outfit, and his history as he tells it stops during Teen Titans Vol. 3. And doesn’t... mention when he died? It feels like it... stopped before that, because like I feel if he was telling his life history (even the wiki version LMAO) the part where he died and came back would be pretty important to bring up?? And Nocturna specifically says that he didn’t explain how that stuff from TT Vol. 3 then led to him in his current situation. That’s a pretty big gap (like uhhh everything from resurrection until he got lost on Gemworld + all the rest of the Young Justice 2019 stuff?) So like.. there could be something funky going on here that has to do with that. 

Similarly when he flashes back in Future State: Suicide Squad to his past it also goes right from Teen Titans Vol. 3 to the current Suicide Squad run? Like I get it’s one page so they can’t show that much, but the fact that there’s now two places that flash back to that same specific time period and nothing past it until the Suicide Squad feels just... noticeable! Not concretely indicative of something, but noteworthy.

(Future State: Suicide Squad #2)

Like...this almost has me thinking maybe it could be something where like, they tampered with his dead body and cloned from that? BECAUSE, for those of you who may not be familiar with how Kon’s resurrection (during Final Crisis: Legion of 3 Worlds) worked, when he came back there was time travel involved! He was brought back to life in the future (like. Legion of Superheroes era) because it was a process that took that thousand or so years to work/heal him (essentially because of his hybrid dna the process that healed Clark when he had died back in Death of Superman/Reign of the Supermen in the 90s just took a lot longer, but its the same Kryptonian healing chamber thing) meaning when he came back to the present alive again, his dead body was still also in the present just in it’s process of healing. Meaning especially if we’re bringing back stuff from before the reboot, Kon likely has his dead body just vibing out there while he’s goin around living life 🤷‍♂️

SO them doing something related to that could explain the choice to put him back in the T-shirt (since thats what he wore in the era his brain would be caught up to if we’re relating this to when he died) and why he’d recognize himself in a group photo with Bart, Cassie and Tim but maybe not someone like Wallace who didn’t exist back then. I don’t know, this branch of thought is still half baked. Will maybe come back and elaborate on this later. But I’m now really thinking there might be a connection to the early Teen Titans Vol. 3 era specifically because of it being referenced twice in stuff with this Suicide Squad.

ANYWAYS moving on, this is probably a shot in the dark and I only thought of it because I just was reading 90′s Superboy, but right away when thinking about ‘Amanda Waller’ and ‘Cloning Kon’ I was reminded of some stuff about the circumstances around the first clone that was made of Conner: Match.

(Superboy (1994) #35)

Match was created by an organization called ‘The Agenda’, that was after a while primarily under the control of The Contessa, Lex Luthor’s ex-wife, aided by Amanda Spence who had a personal grudge against Kon bc her dad was Paul Westfield the guy Kon was originally cloned from (before the Lex/Clark retcon). They were the big bad guys of an arc called The Evil Factory in Superboy (where Cadmus personnel got replaced with clones) which also then tied into the Sins of Youth event over in Young Justice (Remember how Match was posing as Superboy for a while there? yeah). After those plot lines finished the Agenda was pretty defeated (Amanda Spence was still out there and came back later but still) and... who got their hands on the remaining Agenda tech?

(Superboy (1994) #87)

Why none other than Amanda Waller herself!

If they re-canonized pieces of this (which also tied into Young Justice which ya know, YJ 2019 was all about re-establishing stuff from YJ even before Death Metal happened soooo) it would totally make sense for Waller to have complete access to the exact technology used to clone Conner before. 

Now, a thing to consider here though is what happened to Kon after he’d been cloned that first time, where his DNA got all destabilized by the process (and he needed to go through a procedure with Roxy as a genetic template to keep him together, which was how he got stuck at age 16 for a while). This was something where he was fine for a period of time before the side effects began to kick in. Now, I think it’s worth mentioning that was also back in the days where he was not yet Lex & Clark’s clone, but still Paul Westfield’s. So there could easily be a ‘now that certain Kryptonian genes have kicked in as he got his newer powers it doesn’t destabilize him the same way’ reasoning or something along those lines to avoid this problem. Alternatively, it could be an interesting thing to embrace rather than retcon away, especially if we’ve been seeing Clone Conner in action and Original Conner hasn’t been in our focus, things could be wrong with him that we just don’t know about.

Another branch of thinking that I think is even MORE a shot in the dark but could be interesting (or again even related to what I just said, could be a combo of things) is if this somehow ended up related to those clones that were reverse engineered from the remains of Match from the very end of Teen Titans Vol. 3

(Teen Titans (2003) #99)

All of them were then taken down with Kryptonite and killed in battle (by Rose & Damian) 

(Teen Titans (2003) #100)

But like... idk man if Waller got her hands on those corpses or even just the data from Dr. Caligan that he extracted from Match to make them... that could also be a potential way to make some new Conner clones, and that could be why the bio-scan thing at Titans Tower wouldn’t work properly because of the thing he says above about it not being a “complete match’

One thing I don’t think is the case, but has been brought up to me, is stuff with New 52 Kon. I’ve talked extensively about New 52 Kon in recent weeks because I read through all his stuff, but the thing that makes me shy away from him being part of this situation is the fact that... he’s not interchangeable with Kon the way I think some people think he is. He wouldn’t visually be recognized as Original Kon because he is literally on a genetic level a separate person. They’d prob look related, sure, like they’d pass for brothers because they both have Clark’s DNA, but New 52 Kon has Lois’ DNA and Original Kon has Lex’s. New 52 Kon would likely look more like Jon, rather than Kon. Lois specifically commented in an Action Comics issue that Kon had some resemblance to Lex, even. So like, things like Wallace recognizing him or him looking at his own matching reflection alongside the group picture at the Tower... those wouldn’t happen the same way if this was New 52 Kon.

Now I think it coooould theoretically be possible for Waller to have gotten her hands on that future N.O.W.H.E.R.E. cloning tech that had been used to make New 52 Kon, like I wouldn’t rule that out. Because she knows where the remains of their bases are as shown in Red Hood and the Outlaws (2016) #16-17, and like, Harvest is dead so she could easily just send teams out there to gather shit if she wanted. 

Onto some other things I don’t think are actually related but that I was reminded of/wanted to address:

I feel i’d be a bad timkon fan if during all of this discussion of past stories with cloning Kon I didn’t even bring up Tim’s cloning attempt stuff, but I think it would ultimately be unrelated. His tech was stolen from Luthor, and his attempts didn’t succeed because he was trying to build from scratch without Cadmus’ the data about how they altered the DNA from the original process. 

(Teen Titans Vol. 3 #34)

Then that initial cover for the annual really reminded me of part of the Hollow Men story from Superboy Vol. 5 just with like... Kon in a room full of copies of himself. I don’t think this story would be related either because it was more magic Tannarak stuff rather than regular cloning, but ya know. It’s the imagery.

(Superboy Vol. 5 #9)

It also really reminded me of the stuff from Hyper-Tension which was hypertime stuff not cloning but again just... visually.

(Superboy Vol. 4 #62)

In general I don’t think we’re EVER gonna see Black Zero or any of these multiverse Superboys again LMAO.

To try to sum up all of this in a way that might make sense here’s kinda a... flowchart of some of my main ideas for what the cloning situation could be/how the logic could work. Again this is borrowing stuff from across continuities because Infinite Frontier means theoretically anything’s fair game. (Also I don’t think I mentioned this earlier but I do mention it in the chart, but I think it’s also reasonable that Waller could get her hands on Cadmus tech if Cadmus is like properly made canon again. She just has funky government connections!)

Also I just now thought of this now several hours after I already made the chart and I don’t wanna remake it so sorry not incorporating it there but I remembered there was also that bit during House of Kent where Clark took Kon to the Hall of Justice and they were running some tests on him, so I’m thinking it’s also possible Waller got ahold of that data/that might be how she found out about Kon in the first place for this timeline. And they indicated that there was something wrong with him there, where he might eventually lose his powers or something, so maybe she tried to do cloning stuff to be able to have a copy of Superboy in his prime or something??? before that started kicking in. I don’t know, just more things to consider:

(Action Comics (2016) #1028)

ANYWAYS in conclusion: there is clone fuckery of some sort happening, I’m curious where it’s gonna go, and I just want Kon to be okay.

If you actually read this uhm. props to you bc this probably makes no sense to anyone but me its just word vomit <3 

[the-fixation-zone]

a drink from hell

okay so i haven’t written fanfic in literal years (and even then, it was only one, unpublished) and my writing in general is rusty, but i saw this  answer by @hurricanezukka and i just. i had to write something. so here it is! it doesn’t follow the prompt exactly, the plot got a little away from me, and if i didn’t just write something i was going to take a billion years on it/not finish it at all so! anyway! the Work!

~5k words

“Your change is three dollars.” Zuko hands over the bills, trying not to wrinkle his nose as yet another person purchases his Uncle’s…concoction. The customer smiles and walks down to the end of the counter, awaiting what Zuko believes can only loosely be considered a drink. He sighs through his nose, turns, and begins crafting. A Thai tea with…boba. He tries not to gag as he finishes it and hands it over with its obnoxiously large straw. The customer’s eyes light up when she sees it, her “thank you!” almost lost in the loud popping of the drink’s seal. Zuko does not say you’re welcome. Instead, he tries to keep his eyes from rolling and goes back to the register. Another day, another delusional person. When Uncle Iroh had said he wanted to try something new in his tea shop, Zuko hadn’t questioned it. It was his shop, after all, and Zuko was only there because of his Uncle’s love. Uncle obviously knew how to run a business without outside influence. But when Uncle had shown him the little…black…balls he intended to put into the most finely brewed tea in the city, Zuko had nearly put his foot down.

“Uncle. What…what are those.”

“They are tapioca balls, nephew! Don’t they look delicious? It will add a bit of fun to drinking tea, if I say so myself!”

Right. Fun. As if drinking hot (or, in this case, cold) leaf juice needed to be a diverting activity. Zuko had said nothing and had dutifully tried one. And then he had just as dutifully spit it out when Uncle wasn’t looking. Honestly, what the fuck was he thinking?

So now Zuko stands behind the counter of the Jasmine Dragon and waits for people to come in and order the monstrosity, forcing him to relive his waking nightmare. Cold tea. And tapioca balls. It isn’t enough to make him rethink working here, but it’s damn close.

“Gooooood afternoon! I hear you guys have something called boba tea?”

Zuko’s eyes clench close reflexively before he remembers the customer service etiquette Iroh tried to drill in him. He opens his eyes and says, through clenched teeth, “Yes. We do. Only place in the city.”

“Wooooow.” The customer is flashing him a bright smile, one that takes Zuko off-guard for a moment. Sure, sometimes customer’s smile at him. It’s usually because they want something. A bit knocked off the price of their drink; to be able to use an expired coupon. But this customer doesn’t seem to want anything. Just the boba. “Is it good?”

Zuko raises his eyes from the smile to the man’s eyes, intending on telling him the honest truth, but he’s arrested by how bright blue they are. Zuko forgets how to form sentences. The customer’s tanned skin makes his eyes look even bluer, the little blue beads in the single braid that comes down into his face tying the whole package together. He has laugh lines.

“Uh—what?”

The customer’s smile falters, just a bit. “The boba? Is it good? I mean, my sister says it’s great, but who can trust a little sister’s taste?” He winks, bringing Zuko into the joke. Zuko thinks about Azula’s taste in, well, anything, and finds himself nodding along.

“Yeah. Yeah, I understand. Uh, a lot of people say it’s good. Like, uh, it’s ordered a lot? Instead of regular tea?” Zuko does not know why he’s asking his customer these statements, but Zuko also doesn’t know why he isn’t just telling him that the boba fucking sucks and to try something else. Maybe it’s because the customer is still smiling, even though by now he’s sure to have gotten a proper look at Zuko’s marred face. Maybe it’s because his hair, the rest of it that’s not in the little braid but is instead in a wolftail, looks so soft…

Maybe Zuko is a bit preoccupied.

“Well, that’s good enough for me! How about I get a small black milk boba tea and let you know what I think?”

Zuko nods numbly, tells him how much it is, and exchanges currency. He’s fairly certain he doesn’t look at the till to do it, but the customer doesn’t say anything about incorrect change so maybe he’s done it right. Zuko makes the tea with shaking fingers. When he finishes, he turns and sees the customer leaning against the counter, looking down at his phone. He looks up, as if he knew Zuko was looking at him, and flashes that smile again. Zuko passes over the tea and their fingers brush.

“Thanks!”

“You’re welcome.”

Zuko watches as the customer walks to a table near the windows, pulls out a laptop (how long had he been wearing a messenger bag?) and gets to work. Zuko, unfortunately, finds it hard to get back to work for the rest of his shift.

 ***

Zuko’s off the next few days and he spends his free time reading. Mostly Wikipedia articles, but if pressed Zuko would defend his habits as educational to the last breath. Besides, it isn’t as if he is just reading them for fun, not that anyone asked. He’s editing. The nature of Wikipedia is such that anyone, even idiots, can create a page. It is a beautiful idea in theory, but in practice it gives Zuko a headache. He doesn’t edit every inaccurate page that he comes across (he’d get nothing else done) but he does look through pages he considers himself an expert on. Species of turtle, types of candle wax, the furnace manufacturing industry—well. There are plenty of things to keep him occupied until his next shift. He very pointedly does not think about the blue-eyed bombshell from the other day who stayed in the shop for several hours, long after he had finished his tea. He also doesn’t think about how, after finishing the tea, the blue-eyed customer had looked up and unerringly found Zuko’s eyes to give him a big, hammy thumbs up with another grin. He doesn’t think about how he’d fumbled the teacup that had been in his hand and blushed furiously, thanking the gods the cup had been empty. He doesn’t think about how, though he didn’t look back at the customer’s table ever again, he could feel the man’s eyes on him. He really doesn’t think about that.

Instead, he thinks about how someone has changed all the mentions of “tortoises” to “turtles” as he viciously changes them back. Honestly, if there weren’t a difference why would there be two separate words?

His next shift is an early one. 7am. Zuko doesn’t mind; he tends to rise early anyway. He comes in a few minutes before his shift starts, unlocking the door and bringing down chairs from their upside-down position on tables. He can hear Uncle in the back, counting change.

“Zuko, is that you?”

Zuko sighs. “Yes Uncle. Were you expecting someone else?”

Uncle Iroh’s chuckle can be heard clearly in the front room. “No, no, just glad you are here. Today is going to be a great day!” Uncle comes through the door to the back, tying his apron around his generous belly. Zuko still doesn’t understand why Uncle, the owner of this shop, insists on working when he could easily just hire someone to take his place. He’s asked a few times, wondering why his uncle doesn’t take an early (or, honestly, past due) retirement, but Uncle always gives him the same answer. He grins, slaps Zuko on the back, and says, “Can’t leave all the fun to the young!” before busying himself with some part of the tea process. Zuko doesn’t understand it, but he’s long learned not to question it. He grabs his own apron and gets behind the counter, taking the glass jars of tea out from the cabinets to display them next to the till. Uncle is insistent that people see the tea before it’s brewed, so they know exactly what they are getting. Zuko doesn’t get it. He looks in the jars and sees different shades of dried leaf, which doesn’t help him choose which one he’ll hate least. But Uncle is the boss, so.

The morning goes quickly, a rush hitting a half hour after they open and holding steady until around nine. Perks of being located near the college campus, the best of which being that students in the early morning are dead-eyed and silent. They take their caffeine and go, without much small talk. Zuko decides to take his break after the rush, knowing another one will start up again in an hour or so. Uncle had decided pretty early on that tea was much better with a snack, and so had added café food to the menu. Oatmeal, avocado toast, and smoothie bowls are part of the Jasmine Dragon’s repertoire, among other tasty things, which brings more people in for lunch than they’d get just serving tea. A blessing and a curse, Zuko thinks. A blessing, because more customers mean more tips. A curse because…well, customers. Zuko throws together a sandwich and starts to head to the back. Uncle always says he’s welcome to eat in the dining room, where the seats are more comfortable, but Zuko prefers not to be seen while he eats. Usually, Uncle leaves it just at that. Today, however, he pushes Zuko a little more.

“Are you sure, nephew? I chose these couches myself for their comfort! I think you will enjoy your lunch a bit better if you sit out here today.” Uncle has an odd twinkle in his eye as he says this, one Zuko doesn’t have the energy to parse through. He looks at the clock, then back at Uncle, and realizes if he wants to have any food at all it’s better to just give in now. Zuko shrugs and heads to the dining room instead, taking an armchair close to the back. The room is, thankfully, empty for now. Not knowing how long that will last, Zuko starts to take a bite of his sandwich when the bell over the door rings. He sighs, moving to get up, but Uncle waves him off and heads towards the till to take care of the customer. Grateful, Zuko sinks back into the armchair, eyes drifting to the newcomer in case they try to give Uncle any trouble. As his eyes find him, Zuko freezes. It’s. The blue-eyed man.

Zuko does not drop his sandwich.

The man walks to the counter, familiar grin on his face, and greets Uncle like they’re old friends. Zuko watches, confused, as they immediately launch into a hushed conversation too quiet for him to make out. He does catch Uncle attempting to subtly point in his direction, though, and feels his ears go red. Better not to worry about it, Zuko thinks, and hunches deeper into his armchair to nibble on his sandwich. Not worrying about it, he keeps his eye on the customer.

Eventually, after it seems the man has finally ordered, the customer moves down the counter away from Uncle, and Iroh starts his tea. Instead of looking at his phone like he did last time, the man looks directly at Zuko and makes a beeline for his corner. Zuko eats a bit faster.

“Hey! You on break?”

Zuko wishes he hadn’t eaten so fast. “Mmph? Uhk, er—”

The other man’s eyes fill with concern and he puts his hands up, palms out. “Whoa, whoa sorry! I should’ve waited, take your time!” He watches Zuko swallow with a soft smile, getting comfortable in a nearby armchair. Zuko tries to tone down his impression of a human tomato.

“I—fuck—hi. Hello. Again.”

The customer’s smile stays soft, but a light comes into his eyes. “Hello. Again. Name’s Sokka,” and he reaches a hand out to shake, “what’s yours?”

Zuko definitely drops his sandwich now (onto the table, thank fuck) and quickly meets the man’s—Sokka’s—hand with his own. Sokka’s hand is pleasantly cool. “Uh, I’m Zuko.”

“Zuko. Cool.” Sokka keeps looking at him, and smiling at him, and should Zuko let go now? Or is it okay, since Sokka hasn’t let go either? Zuko wracks his brain for the last time he shook anyone’s hand and how long the shake lasted and comes up maddeningly blank. Has Zuko shaken anyone else’s hand before?

Sokka’s smile grows. He slowly removes his hand from Zuko’s grip, fingers lingering. Zuko has just enough presence of mind to bring his hand back to his lap, and not leave it dangling in midair like an idiot. It’s a near thing, though.

“Uh, so. What were you and Uncle talking about?” Zuko asks, the first thing that comes to mind.

“Oh! That’s your uncle?” Sokka looks over his shoulder for a second, then looks back. “Oh, uh, nothing? Would you believe nothing? We were just shooting the breeze, you know, real casual small talk.” Sokka does not sound very convincing, but he also doesn’t sound like he’s going to change his story so Zuko doesn’t push it.

“Oh, okay. Yeah, he’s, uh, he’s good at that. Small talk.” Unlike me oh gods strike me down now.

“He seems like a good guy!” The nervous look leaves Sokka’s eyes, which is just as well because that means they’re not shifting all over the place and are firmly planted on Zuko’s face. “Must be nice to have such a nice uncle to work for. All the free boba you want! What a dream.”

Zuko’s eyes widen and he coughs. “Uh yeah. All the…the free b-boba…I’d want. Because it’s so good. Who doesn’t like boba? You like it, right?”

Before Sokka can answer, Uncle comes to their little corner with Sokka’s order: same as the other day, black milk tea with boba. This time, though, it’s a much bigger serving. Sokka’s eyes light up when he sees it, and he thanks Uncle profusely as he stabs into the drink’s seal. Zuko tries to hide his grimace, his question thoroughly answered. He looks at Uncle, intending on asking if he should get back to work, but Uncle just gives him a wink and walks off without saying anything. Flustered, Zuko stays put. Between slurps of tea, Sokka begins to ask him about himself and, helpless, Zuko answers. He makes sure to keep his eyes on Sokka’s face, rather than the abomination he’s inhaling, but really that’s not much better. Looking at Sokka makes Zuko feel like he’s on fire. Every time Sokka asks him something his tongue trips over itself trying to provide the best, most accurate answer. He’s sure he looks like a buffoon but Sokka never comments, just keeps smiling at him and encouraging him to answer. He just wants to know and Zuko doesn’t get it.

“Uh, so. What about you? You were working on something the other day…what was it?” Immediately Zuko wants to take it back, sure he’s asked something too personal, maybe the guy doesn’t want to talk about his work, honestly Zuko just think sometimes—

“Oh! I’m glad you asked, I’ve been meaning to bounce some ideas off someone!” Sokka’s eyes light up like he’s been given another boba as he launches into an explanation of his work. He’s a PhD student apparently, trying to hammer out a decent thesis proposal for his dissertation on medieval war tactics. War isn’t really Zuko’s interest, but he does know a bit about medieval history so he offers advice when he can. He’s sure it’s not very helpful, but Sokka seems to take it all very seriously, even pausing for a moment to bring his laptop out and take some notes. Zuko doesn’t have the heart to tell him most of his information was collected from his Wikipedia hunts. Before Zuko knows it, the lunch rush has come and gone and evening is swiftly approaching. When he finally notices a clock he swears, standing up quickly.

“Oh shit, I should go back to work! Oh man, I left Uncle all alone, I—” He looks around frantically hoping to catch his uncle’s eye.

Sokka stands too, seemingly also unconscious of the time. “Oh wow, yeah it’s later than I thought. I’ve got to go, Katara’s gonna kill me…” He quickly packs up his things, having over time brought out papers and folders along with his laptop, haphazardly shoving things back into his messenger bag. “This was good, though! I really liked talking to you. Until next time?” Sokka shoots Zuko a hopeful look as he puts his items away. Zuko blinks a few times, still in Red Alert mode, but takes a second to look back at Sokka. And nods.

“Yeah. Next time.”

***

Next time is apparently the very next day. Zuko isn’t scheduled but Uncle calls him in last minute, as Jin, one of the other employees of the Jasmine Dragon, apparently called in sick. Zuko isn’t planning on doing anything but sweep through Wikipedia so he agrees, taking a quick shower before heading over and arriving with his hair still a bit damp. Uncle gives him a wide smile when he sees him arrive, which Zuko returns, albeit in a more subdued manner, before he spots Jin behind him. His eyes narrow.

“Uncle. I thought you said Jin called in sick.”

“Ah, nephew, you see….” His uncle has the good grace to blush. “She had called in sick, but it seems she felt a bit better and decided to come in anyway!”

“Uncle, you called me twenty minutes ago. Did she get sick and better within the span of half an hour?”

Uncle shrugs, unperturbed by being called out in an obvious lie. “Who is to say, nephew? Illnesses come and go, sometimes. Since you are here already, why don’t I make it up to you? You go sit in your corner and I’ll bring you some tea!” Uncle has that look in his eye, the one Zuko knows means he’s been caught in something he can’t see yet, which doesn’t make any sense….

It’s then that Zuko looks to “his” corner. And sees Sokka sitting in the same chair as yesterday, tapping away on his laptop.

“Uncle! Did you--?” Zuko doesn’t even know how to finish the sentence, but one look at the conniving old man tells him all he needs to know. Zuko groans. “I’m going home, Uncle.”

“No, no! Why go home if you are already here? You may as well relax your poor feet and have some good conversation while you are at it. Go, go sit and I will bring you and your…companion some tea and pastries.” Uncle makes a shooing motion and Zuko finds his feet have decided to make their own decisions, choosing to carry him over to Sokka. Sokka seems to know he’s there because when he gets close, Sokka turns to greet him.

“Zuko! I didn’t know you were working today! Good to see you.” He indicates the chair opposite him, snug in the corner. “Join me?”

Zuko nods numbly and goes to sit. “I wasn’t working today. Uncle called me in, said Jin called out sick…but she’s not sick. She’s right over there.” He points to where Jin is laughing with Uncle about something. He hopes to the gods it’s not him.

“Hmm. Sick but not sick huh? Well, I guess it’s my lucky day then,” Sokka says, beaming a smile at Zuko. Zuko feels warm down to his toes and musters a small smile back.

“Yeah, I guess.” Zuko scratches the back of his neck, feeling the weight of conversation-making drop onto his shoulders. How do people do this?

Thankfully, Sokka seems to feel no such weight and launches right into a story about his sister and their roommate, a blind girl named Toph who sounds like a handful. Sokka doesn’t look like Zuko’s one-word answers bother him, seemingly content to talk about whatever, switching topics on a whim. It’s…comforting. When Sokka wants something from Zuko, he asks. He doesn’t push and doesn’t stray into awkward territory. He doesn’t’ ask about the scar. At one point, Zuko looks down and sees there’s tea in front of both of them, the usual for Sokka and a smaller version of the same for him along with two croissants. He didn’t even notice Uncle coming by. He doesn’t say anything about the cup of boba in front of him, choosing to pretend he doesn’t see it.

“Oh! Can I get your opinion on something?” Sokka asks, his laptop now out. He looks a little nervous, typing at some keys.

“Yeah, sure, I guess. What is it?” Zuko doesn’t know what Sokka could possibly want his opinion on, but he can’t possibly say no.

“Well, it’s this paragraph. I think I’m describing the reign of this king right, but the way you said it yesterday made so much more sense…” Sokka lifts his laptop to hand it over to Zuko, and Zuko doesn’t understand because he could just slide it over and—oh. Sokka’s fingers brush against Zuko’s in the handoff, and Zuko has no more complaints. He takes the laptop, feeling his face heat up, and tries not to fumble it as he turns it around.

“Oh, uh. Yeah, let me read it.” He does, half his mind on the highlighted paragraph and the other half on how nice Sokka’s fingers had felt on his. “This seems right. If anything I’d just, well…” He turns on track changes and does a few minor edits, hands it back. Hopes Sokka’s fingers will touch his again and is not disappointed. Sokka’s ears seem a bit red but otherwise he doesn’t seem to notice.

“Oh, great! Yeah, see that’s what I meant, you just are so good at that. The words, I mean.”

Zuko looks at him like there’s worms coming out of his eyes. Him? Good with words? What planet is Sokka from? He doesn’t say anything though, just shrugging.

The day passes the same as the one before, Sokka alternating between asking Zuko questions and working on his thesis proposal. Zuko tells him about his love of turtles, and his Wikipedia obsession, though he refrains from calling it an “obsession” and refers to it as “an academic obligation.” Sokka nods as if this makes sense. Zuko finds the courage to ask Sokka a bit too, about his sister (Katara, a bit of a pain but the way Sokka talks about her Zuko knows he loves her), his roommate Toph (exactly as much of a handful as that story made her sound like), his parents (dead mom, Zuko regrets asking, and great dad, Zuko really regrets asking) and his school program. Occasionally Zuko will catch Sokka looking at him in a way he can’t read, like Sokka is puzzling something out. When Zuko catches him, he raises his one eyebrow in question but Sokka shakes his head and goes back to his laptop. Zuko leaves it at that.

When it’s time for the Jasmine Dragon to close, neither are ready for it.

“Time sure flies, huh?” Sokka asks, looking genuinely bewildered at the position of the sun. “I should be getting back.”

“Yeah, me too.” Zuko stands, instinctively clearing the table. “This was. Nice. I’m…glad I came in today.”

Sokka gives him a soft smile, pausing in putting his laptop and papers away. “I’m glad too.”

***

For the next week, Zuko is working every day. When asked why he signed up for seven days in a row, Zuko shrugs.

“Rent is coming up.”

His Uncle, who is very familiar with his nephew’s finances, smiles and says nothing.

And if Zuko’s breaks are spent in the corner of the dining room with a certain blue-eyed regular, well. It’s nobody’s business but his.

He makes sure he doesn’t go over time, feeling guilty about the work he skipped last time, but when he goes back behind the till Sokka doesn’t leave. In fact, he just moves tables, sitting in a chair closer to the counter, angled towards Zuko. Zuko doesn’t know why, but he isn’t complaining. It’s much easier to watch Sokka this way.

The man really was beautiful. Zuko’s never been very good at describing people, wrinkling his nose at the labels people use for body parts. All he knew was that something about Sokka called to him, somewhere deep down, and he didn’t know what to do about it. Or if there was anything to do. Sokka was a customer, after all! He came for his (disgusting) tea and a quiet place to work. And, apparently, to talk to Zuko, sometimes. But that didn’t mean anything. Still. For seven days, Sokka came in and ordered his boba, they chatted during Zuko’s breaks, and Zuko watched him work when he had to go back behind the till. He might have dropped a mug or two. But who was counting? Apparently not Uncle, who only gives him mysterious looks whenever it happens and sweeps up the glass without comment. He also seems to be oddly occupied in the back of the shop, leaving Zuko at the front. Alone. On days when Uncle is not in the shop, but Jin or Piandao are working instead, they also seem to make themselves…scarce, unless there’s a rush. Zuko doesn’t question it, as it leaves him more chances to watch Sokka unobserved.

Somewhere in the middle of the week, Sokka starts coming up to the counter after the lunch rush to ask Zuko some more questions. Mostly about his proposal, but sometimes not. He always goes back to his chair when a customer comes in, ever courteous of Zuko’s job, but Zuko kind of wishes he wouldn’t. Zuko would much rather explain to Sokka his disinterest in organized sports than watch a customer stare at the menu above Zuko’s head for five minutes, just to give a fake laugh and ask what Zuko thinks they should get. Zuko really wishes they would stop asking his opinion on tea.

By the end of the week, Zuko desperately needs a break. All his clothes, even his non-work ones, reek of tea. He doesn’t know how, but they do, and he’s tired. His feet hurt. He thinks he’ll do something violent if he has to make small talk with another customer. But he looks over at Sokka and thinking about the prospect of not seeing him for a few days fills him with panic. Maybe he could come in anyway? But, surely that’d be obvious, right? Maybe he can ask Uncle to loudly call him on the phone…

It’s nearing closing time and Zuko is still thinking about what to do. Sokka’s still there, which isn’t unusual. He hasn’t left before closing time all week. He gets up, stretches, and starts packing his things away. Also not unusual. What is unusual is that, instead of giving Zuko a wave and heading out, he walks up to the counter.

“Hey.”

“…hey?” Zuko’s mind switches from thinking about how to see Sokka in the next few days to how to deal with the Sokka in front of him. “Want a tea for the road?”

“Well, actually…” Sokka brings a hand up to tug at his braid, biting his bottom lip. Zuko tries not to track this motion and utterly fails. “I was wondering. You, uh. You’ve been working a lot this week, haven’t you?”

Zuko blinks. Sokka had noticed? “Uh, yeah. I’m supposed to be off a couple days soon.”

“Okay. Okay, yeah, that makes sense, cool. Would…would tomorrow be one of those days?”

“Maybe? It, uh, could be? Why?”

Sokka tugs a final time at his braid before planting both hands on the counter. “Wellyousaidyoulikedturtlesright?”

Zuko frowns. “What?”

Sokka takes a deep breath. “Well. You said you liked. Turtles, right?”

Zuko nods slowly. “Yeah…?”

“Okay. Okay, so, I’m planning on going to the aquarium tomorrow. I have a free day from—” he gestures to the messenger bag on his shoulder, as if that explains anything at all, “—and was wondering if you wanted to join me?”

Zuko’s eyes widen. “Oh, like. You and me? At the aquarium?”

Sokka seems to gain his equilibrium in the face of Zuko’s awkwardness and grins. “Yeah, you and me. Like a date?” As confident as Sokka suddenly looks, Zuko can tell he’s a little nervous. Zuko rushes to reassure him.

“Yes! Yes. I would. I would like that. A date.”

“Great! Meet here at 2?”

“Yeah. See you then.”

Sokka leaves and Zuko allows himself a solitary fist pump.

***

The next day, Zuko comes in to find Sokka already out front, holding two cups.

“I thought I’d get us some boba for the trip over! Here,” and he hands one to Zuko. Zuko looks at it like it’s going to bite him. Sokka doesn’t notice, having already popped the seal on his and taking a big slurp. Zuko watches the boba balls go up the straw with dread.

“Come on, man, no need to be shy. Don’t even think you have to pay me back, just go ahead and enjoy!”

Zuko’s eye twitches but, as if on autopilot, he stabs into his drink. Takes a few sips. He tries his best, but a ball of boba gets stuck in his straw and he has no choice but to bring it all the way up. The moment it touches his tongue he makes the loudest retching sound, dropping his drink onto the pavement and launching the ball from his mouth to land on Sokka’s shirt.

Sokka, for his part, is in hysterics.

He laughs at him the whole way to the aquarium, and a bit more while they’re there for good measure. In fact, he doesn’t stop laughing until Zuko kisses him, right next to the turtle tank.

 fin

[mearchy]

Nicolò di Genova - Sword

Today I, a history nerd and relative newbie to the TOG fandom, want to talk about Nicky’s sword. Warning: This post is long.

(ik there are some history-centric TOG pages out there that may have covered this much better than I will, so feel free to leave a link!)

Okay, so just to clarify, we are talking about this thing:

In both the comics and the movie, Nicky’s sword appears to be a two-handed longsword (theoretically, longswords are two-handed while broadswords are not but a lot of people ignore this so... whatever). It has a T-type looking flared pommel and a curved quillon with a pointy bit in the middle (quillon is the crossbar above the sword grip, pommel is the flared part at the base of the grip). 

The implication, which I have seen expanded on in a lot of fics, is that this is a 1099-era sword that Nicky is fighting with, that is representative of the time period he comes from. (I would like to note that this is true for Joe- his kilij scimitar is in fact, a historically accurate weapon that would have likely been used in Jerusalem during the First Crusade. Kudos to Rucka for not just choosing the more well-known scimitar blade types, or following Wikipedia’s shitty and incorrect assertion that the kilij was solely an Ottoman blade. Then again, getting it right could have very well been an accident. ANYway.)

Here’s the issue: Nicky’s canon sword doesn’t really... exist? Historically speaking. To start with, Crusaders didn’t use two-handed swords. In fact, the two-handed longsword as we know it wasn’t introduced until at least the late 13th century, if not well into the 14th. Most Crusaders of Nicky’s time would have likely fought with a one-handed “arming” sword, which looked something like this:

(This specific example is 12th century but it fits the bill for style of 11th century swords as well.)

One-handed swords were a necessity because sword battles were almost always fought with a sword in one hand and a shield in the other, unless you were cavalry in which case you held on to the damn horse with your other hand. Fighting with a shield as a common practice was discarded later on, towards the 15th century, as plate armor became more common.

Also... arming an entire army with swords actually was very expensive, but I’m trying not to overcomplicate so let’s assume that because Nicky had a higher rank than the average soldier (in comic canon), he would have been supplied with a standard arming sword of the period. If you’re looking to write a historically accurate fic, know that the ordinary civilian soldiers probably would not have all had their own standard-issue arming swords. Many would have had... polearms. And stuff. 

I wish I could give you any kind of estimate about the real time period Nicky’s canon sword comes from, but when I tell you that I dug deep into my reservoirs of sword knowledge, that I spent hours going through museum archives for any kind of extant sword that perfectly resembles what he uses... it just... it just doesn’t really exist. 

Here are some leads, in case you care to pursue them or spin a story out of them:

Most non-decorative two-handed swords from Western Europe date to the 14th through 16th century and generally have straight quillons that are much longer than Nicky’s, and the blades are longer and thinner, meant for piercing armor with direct thrusts. Here is an Italian version of the two-handed sword that exemplifies this.

This German 14th/15th century sword is two-handed, and has a very vaguely similar pommel shape, but the blade width and quillon are off.

European hand-and-a-half swords like this are dated to the 14th-16th century, and have mid-sized hilts, and they can also have slightly wider blades and T-type pommels. However, ones with curved quillons are considered highly unusual.

As you can see, the biggest obstacle to a perfect match seems to be the artistic liberties taken with the quillon on Nicky’s sword, which I totally respect, although it does make it difficult to create a convincing backstory for it. Also, I’ve been characterizing his pommel as T-type even though it’s not really that, because I can’t figure out a more accurate categorisation. Again, that exact pommel... doesn’t really exist in historical swords 

It is worth noting that in the movie, when the camera pans in the mine that Andy says they’ve kept their stuff in since the 1150′s, we catch a brief and badly-lit glimpse of THIS:

WHICH IS, IN FACT, A CRUCIFORM ARMING SWORD WITH A DISK POMMEL THAT HAS THE EDGES CHAMFERED OFF AND A STRAIGHT QUILLON. I.e., a historically accurate late 12th-13th century Crusader sword. Still not quite on beat for the First Crusade but much closer to the correct era. Did someone doing props on set sneak this in here for vague historical accuracy? Was this Nicky’s sword during like... the Third Crusade? Did it become unusable from age but he kept it stored for sentimental value? I will let the fic writers decide... 

Ok that’s it for now. If you want me to actually cite my sources for more of this info, I can. 

PS: I haven’t read the comics all the way through yet, and I am also just some nerd who likes history and does research in my free time. If I missed anything or if any of my information is inaccurate, please argue aggressively with me and send me anon hate over it (not kidding :)!)

[the-busy-ghost]

Hi! I hope you're well - I was just wondering if you had any recommendations for interesting & engaging "introductory" texts about Scottish history (particularly between 500 and 1500 AD, although I know that's really broad!) No worries if you don't have any ideas or don't feel like answering such a vague question though! Have a lovely day :)

Hi! 

Apologies for the delayed response on this, I have no real excuse except being anxious that I wouldn’t be able to answer it perfectly. So I’ve decided to bite the bullet and answer somewhat imperfectly. This answer also depends on just exactly how much knowledge you already have of Scottish history, so if I’m being patronising and assuming too much ignorance, or alternatively if I’m not being clear enough, please let me know. 

The first thing I would always recommend before diving into serious literature is having a basic framework in the back of your mind. It may be an inaccurate framework but given that mediaeval Scottish history really isn’t taught or known to the same extent as say mediaeval English history, it is essential that you know where you are on a basic level, so you can both enjoy and learn from the texts that go into more detail. This basic background can come from almost anything- Braveheart and blatantly inaccurate novels aside. 

This is quite freeing because basically reading almost ANYTHING can be useful at first, and also first and foremost if you’re going to devote a considerable amount of time to something, you should work out how to make it fun and understandable.

I always had some idea of Scottish history since I was a kid but I got more into it in my late teens and I’ll be honest, though I probably don’t agree with anything in it pages now, one of the first books I picked up at the age of about sixteen was Neil Oliver’s ‘History of Scotland’ (released alongside the documentary series). Any basic ‘History of Scotland’ of that type (if it looks reasonably reputable) should give you a basic framework that you can build on- in the same way some people learn the kings and queens of England. Wikipedia could also work this way, though it may be more patchy. Other, slightly more reputable and in-depth but not really textbook, works of this kind include Stewart Ross’ “The Stewart Dynasty”; Alistair Moffat’s ‘The Borders’; popular (if coloured) biographies of people like Robert the Bruce, William Wallace, and Mary Queen of Scots (she’s post-medieval but still a relevant example); and even some of the older Victorian histories of people like Tytler (watch out though, they get weirdly ‘ethnic’ in their interpretations of some historical events and processes- some were convinced that there was a centuries-long feud between the “Celt” and the “Teuton”/”Saxon”). Even novels and songs- though sometimes highly inaccurate- can help with this, even if they’re Walter Scott. 

So I’m not going to be a purist and get snobby about Neil Oliver or Walter Scott even if I would never set store by any of the above works in an academic context (or even just a drunken argument). The first step in my view is literally to get a basic feel for what we *think* our history is (and enjoy learning about the different regions and cultures a bit!), and then you can set about dismantling all these stereotypes and misconceptions with better books. 

If you DO want a reasonably trustworthy general overview though, I believe that Fiona Watson has written one called “Scotland: From Prehistory to Present” and there must be a few others written by academics, it’s just been so long since I’ve read completely general histories I can’t really comment on this accurately.

Assuming you’re already aware of the above though and have a pretty good idea of what you’re dealing with then there are two next steps I would recommend.

The first are the series of texbooks/overviews that are often published by universities. Obviously since these are textbooks they are more introductory and general, but they do often cite academic articles and books that are more detailed. I have found a couple of series particularly useful and outlined the main titles below:

- The “New History of Scotland” series. This is a good series as most of the books were initially A5 sized or slightly bigger (so quick to read and easy to carry). Sadly this means that they do not employ footnotes/citations to any great extent, usually only providing a ‘Further Reading’ section at the end of the book. You can usually find old copies of these online for a reasonable price. This series includes, among others:

- “Warlords and Holy Men: Scotland, 80-1000”, by Alfred P  Smyth

- “Kingship and Unity: Scotland, 1000-1306″, by G.W.S. Barrow 

- “Independence and Nationhood: Scotland, 1306-1469″, by             Alexander Grant. (This one has a particularly good basic overview of diet, trade, e.t.c.)

- “Court, Kirk, and Community: Scotland, 1470-1625″, by Jenny Wormald

- “Power and Propaganda: Scotland, 1306-1488″, by Katie Stevenson (note- the previous titles listed were written in the 1980s and 90s, but this one was added to the series in 2014, so it’s more up to date in some ways though it’s up to you whether you think it’s more persuasive).

- The “New Edinburgh History of Scotland” series. These are bigger books than the previous series and are complete with on page citations and bibliography. They tend to all come in matching blue jackets, and I thought that secondhand copies of these would be slightly more expensive than the above but a quick search on amazon has surprised me, since a copy of Oram’s “Domination and Lordship” is several pounds cheaper than Grant’s “Independence and Nationhood”. Anyway these are slightly more in-depth than the above series, but work very well in tandem with those shorter books. The series includes:

- “From Pictland to Alba: 789-1070″, by Alex Woolf (it is a very long time since I read this, so I have to admit I have very little memory of its contents but I put it here for balance)

- “Domination and Lordship: Scotland, 1070-1230″, by Richard Oram (good used along with Kingship and Unity)

- “The Wars of Scotland, 1214-1371″, by Michael Brown

- “The First Stewart Dynasty In Scotland, 1371-1488″, by Stephen Boardman (full disclosure I have not read this one yet, but I have read some of Boardman’s other books).

- “Scotland Reformed, 1488-1587″, by Jane E.A. Dawson

- The “History of Everyday Life” series. These books are collections of essays on some selected aspects of day to day life in medieval Scotland and can provide some interesting reading and insights. Only one of the books in this series is relevant to our time period, but it may be worth checking out the other three since some customs and behavioural patterns from more recent times are worth comparing with the past. The volume covering the medieval period is “A History of Everyday Life in Medieval Scotland, 1000-1600″, edited by Edward Cowan and Lizanne Henderson.

- The “Northern World” series. This is not a series I’m particularly familiar with outside of some light reading while at university (mostly because these books can be really expensive compared to the previous ones mentioned). HOWEVER not only do they range across northern Europe (not just Scotland) but a couple of them help to balance out the Lowland focus which sometimes predominates in the above general overviews. There are quite a few interesting books in this series (identifiable usually by their purple jackets) but some that I know of include:

- “Kinship and Clientage: Highland Clanship, 1451-1609″ by Alison Cathcart.

- “The Lordship of the Isles”, edited by Richard Oram (this is a collection of essays)

There was also an older “Edinburgh History of Scotland” series published in the 1970s- some of the authors were better than others and they’re a bit dated now but they’re still a useful starting point. The series includes:

- “Scotland, the Making of the Kingdom”, by A.A.M. Duncan

- “Scotland: The Later Middle Ages”, by Ranald Nicholson

There are lots of other book series out there- the St Andrews Studies in Scottish History or the publications of old literature by the Scottish Text Society for example but I think I’ve listed enough to be getting on with. There are also a few books that I think make good general overviews (or are collections of interesting essays) that aren’t in a particular series:

- “Women in Scotland, 1100-1750”, edited by Elizabeth Ewan and Maureen M Meikle (this is a collection of essays rather than an overview of women’s history but it’s a good starter, and great if you only have fifteen minutes to spare)

- “Glory and Honour: The Renaissance in Scotland”, by Andrea Thomas (a beautiful coffee table book with lots of pictures of art and architecture). It starts in 1424.

- “The Kingdom of the Isles: Scotland’s Western Seaboard, c.1100-c.1336″, by R. Andrew MacDonald

- “The Black Douglases”, Michael Brown

- “Robert the Bruce’s Rivals: The Comyns, 1212-1314″, by Alan Young

- “The Northern Earldoms: Orkney and Caithness, 870-1470″, by Barbara E. Crawford

- “Scottish Independence and the Idea of Britain: From the Picts to Alexander III”, by Dauvit Broun

- “Virgins and Viragos: A History of Women in Scotland From 1080 to 1980″, by Rosalind K Marshall (Marshall has also written some good introductory overviews on Scottish queens, on Mary of Guise, and on the women around Mary, Queen of Scots, though these last two are sixteenth century).

- Any of Alexander Fenton’s books on agricultural history- they don’t deal exclusively (or even mainly) with the medieval period, and they’re not the most up to date but they are still useful handbooks.

There are also lots of shorter academic articles on JSTOR and elsewhere, as well as online networks for things like Scottish Women’s History and Environmental History. 

The second step I would recommend is using biographies- biography is not always the most useful form of historical writing, but they do have their own benefits. For this time period most of the full book-length biographies of individuals are royal figures (though lots of other people are covered in academic articles).

For some figures it’s wise to have several biographies on hand since they’re well-known or controversial- for example, for Robert Bruce, you could start with an older bio like G.W.S. Barrows “Robert Bruce and the Community of the Realm of Scotland” and then supplement it with a more modern biography like that written by Michael Penman or by Colm McNamee. In other cases, a historical figure may not be quite so well known so jumping straight into an academic biography of them, which hops around and analyses expenditure and parliaments, may be a bit confusing- for example, for King James IV, it may be useful to start with R.L. Mackie’s (admittedly dated and a bit romantic) biography to get an idea of the structure of the king’s reign before diving into Norman MacDougall’s more scholarly biography.

Other biographies/overview of royal reigns include Richard Oram’s works on David I and Alexander II; D.D.R. Owen’s bio of William the Lion (this is an interesting one, since it’s written by a French professor rather than a straightforward historian so there’s a big focus on the importance of literature); Andrew Fisher’s bio of William Wallace; Stephen Boardman’s survey of the reigns of Robert II and Robert III; the two biographies of James I written by E.W.M. Balfour-Melville and Michael Brown; Christine McGladdery’s ‘James II’ and Norman McDougall’s ‘James III’; and Annie Dunlop’s biography of Bishop Kennedy.

Lastly once you feel you’ve got a bit of a grip on some secondary source material (or really, as soon as you like) I do recommend checking out some of the primary source material as soon as possible. A LOT of primary sources of medieval Scottish history were printed during the Victorian and Edwardian periods and now thanks to digitisation projects many of them are available online- from chronicles like those of Melrose, John of Fordun and Andrew Wyntoun (and useful English chronicles like Lanercost and Scalachronica); to acts of parliament and accounts of royal expenditure (Treasurer’s Accounts; Exchequer Rolls); to letters of the nobility and poetry. Personally, I find that you learn as much from working directly with the words of historical figures themselves, even if you’re untrained in source handling, as you would from a whole host of textbooks (also it lets you get used to the languages- Scots is straightforward enough to pick up even if you don’t have Latin or Gaelic). If you ever have trouble finding these let me know and I might be able to point you in the right direction. 

It is also worth bearing in mind that sixteenth century sources may shed a lot of light on earlier periods.

Anyway hopefully this helped but if you have any other questions please let me know and I will endeavour to reply quicker this time!

*One last disclaimer, the above list of texts is based purely on my own experiences and what my brain could remember quickly- it is not to reflect a bias or to promote these texts above the works of other historians. It is also not an exhaustive or comprehensive list (and some dearly beloved books are not included- but I tried to stick to simple overviews/textbooks and a few other interesting surveys).

And people are very welcome to add to this since there’s lots I’ve missed!

Lastly try to have a bit of fun with it. Some of these books are very informative but can drag at times- on those occasions I highly recommend taking a break and trying to get outside to a hill or a castle, or if you can’t do that try putting an old ballad on on youtube, and physically look at or listen to the thing you’re studying.

[elizabethan-memes]

Hi! Do you have any suggestions in terms of books about Jane Grey? I'm trying to find ones that are reliable and you're someone whose opinion I value on stuff like this.

I’m humbled by your faith in me :)

ODNB is almost always a good place to start for biographies, although I don’t hold the ODNB article on Jane Boleyn in high regard. I have not read a Jane Grey bio personally, but the most recent that I know of is Crown of Blood: The Deadly Inheritance of Lady Jane Grey by Nicola Tallis. Not a fan of the melodramatic title, but it has very good reviews both for prose quality and scholarship. Usually the most recent biographies are the most up to date. Usually. 

Eric Ives is also held in high regard for his biography of Anne Boleyn and he has a book called Jane Grey: A Tudor Mystery that’s older but might still be worth checking out.

If you want something fictional to consume, the movie Lady Jane (1986) is awesome though probably inaccurate in places. It doesn’t seem to still be on Netflix :( But there’s a ‘cultural portrayals of jane Grey’ wikipedia page that lists the novels, paintings, operas,  films and tv shows that she’s in. I’m a particular fan of the famous Delaroche painting of her execution. Fun fact: it was my phone background for a while. 

[chaoskirin2]

As a long time Queen fan, is there anything you know about John Deacon that most fans are unaware of or forgotten? Any misconceptions? There is a lot about him but I hear all sorts of rumors like the stripper story.

I wish I could answer this with actual information. It would be great if I had something to bring to the fandom. Cool facts. Amusing anecdotes. But I don’t.

What I can say is this:

You can sense a lot about a person by how they present themselves. I think on some level, everyone has an empathic connection with the people they admire. Sometimes we find kindred spirits or people we look up to. We always want to say “My fave would never!” but the truth is, the people we look up to are human, too. They have their flaws and vices just like everyone else does.

Because people aren’t just black and white. We’re not all separated into “hero” and “villain.” There’s no alignment chart that encompasses whole populations. Sometimes bad people do good things. And sometimes good people do bad things. We should always look at the whole, and see any individual as a complete, balanced person.

We can identify and praise the good, but we can also examine and denounce the bad.

It’s important to not turn a blind eye to the bad things. But I think we also have a responsibility, before we attack, demean, or cast someone out, to verify that those things about them are true. The internet brings us into a world where published accusations have no filter, reach masses, and spread like wildfire. Before rumors can be contained and lies extinguished, too many people get absorbed into a groupthink mentality and lock themselves in an echo chamber where reality doesn’t shine.

I looked into the story of John and the adult club with an open mind. I knew I might find that it was all true in the end, and that would have been disappointing. But the important thing is that I didn’t trust the writings of an infamous, sensationalist tabloid and did the necessary work to uncover its veracity. I didn’t want to pry into John Deacon’s private life, but I think as his fans, we owe it to him not to spread false information.

And it wasn’t an easy process. In my original conversations with Sophisticats, I was told they wouldn’t talk to me unless I was seeking an audition. In fact, I didn’t hear back on the answers to my questions until months later, long after I published the original debunking. (I’ll post that under a read more below.)

In the end, I think Deacon has given us an indescribable part of himself that can’t be quantified or be given a price tag. And we owe him his privacy. We also owe him the courtesy to not seek out scandal just because he is a quiet, private man.

My original debunking of the Sophisticats Bullshit:

After carefulconsideration, I've decided to fact-check the story about John Deacon's forayinto strip clubs, titled "Queen's Boring Bassist," published in theDaily Mail on January 30, 2005.

 First, looking at theDaily Mail's track record, it is considered to be an unreliable, far-right(conservative) newspaper. According to readers on Quora, it "has zerocredibility" and is "sensationalist nonsense." User GraemeShimmin states that he uses the Daily Mail as a reverse fact-check: "if the Daily Mail says something is true thenI assume it is untrue."According to Media Bias/Fact Check (mediabiasfactcheck.com/daily-mail/) thepaper has a "poor track record with fact-checkers.) The Wikipedia articleabout the Daily Mail states that it is unreliable and biased, and has also beencriticized for instances of copyright violation.

 It has also come underfire in the past for its powerful bias. In the 1930s, the Daily Mail ranseveral articles praising Nazism and Fascism. Virgin Trains recently stoppedstocking the Daily Mail due to its strong-right stance as beinganti-immigration and anti-LGBT, among other things.

 Most notably, severalcelebrities, including Diana Rigg, Elton John, and J. K. Rowling, have brought successfullawsuits against the Daily Mail for publishing false information. Of particularinterest, and almost directly related to the subject matter of this fact-check,Melania Trump received a settlement based on allegations published in the DailyMail stating that she had been an "escort" in the 1990s.

 Wikipedia will also notallow the Daily Mail to be used as a source.

 The article itself ispoorly-written, is riddled with grammatical and punctuation errors, andcontains a general lack of impartiality. Any publication with integrity willhave a preference for neutral language which does not lead its readers to aparticular conclusion. It also contains heavy speculation pertaining toDeacon's decision to not tour or give interviews related to Queen.

 It makes the medicallyinaccurate statement that Freddie Mercury "died of AIDS." (it isimpossible to die from AIDS. People who suffer the disease die due tocomplications from AIDS' attack on the immune system. In Mercury's case, hepassed away due to bronchopneumonia related to AIDS.)

 Lastly, there are nocorroborating sources - no other articles in any publications mention that JohnDeacon ever visited a strip club or had an affair. Compare this to theextensive coverage of Brian May's marriage problems with his current wife,Anita Dobson. Needless to say, it is extremely important that multiple sourcesverify any information for it to be considered true. Of note, other far-rightsources that publish articles with no corroborating sources include BreitbartNews and the Westboro Baptist Church.

 It was very interestingthat the Daily Mail has a quote by Opposition dancer Jenny Fewins, but it isnot attributed. I found the quote's source by accident, when looking forinformation about her and her credibility. The quote in the Daily Mail wasstolen from a book called Queen: TheEarly Years by Mark Hodkinson, with no credit given. This was a surprising,but welcome, confirmation of the sources that state that the Daily Mail hasbeen cited for copyright infringement. The part about Freddie Mercury arrivingat the wedding wearing a feather boa, as well as Roger Taylor's assessment ofDeacon's personality, are also from the same book, and also uncredited.

 Both anecdotes are alsotruncated and incomplete, and spliced with false paraphrasing. For example,Roger Taylor did not say, "We were so over-the-top, we thought thatbecause he was quiet, he would fit in with us without too much upheaval."The correct quote from the original source is, "We thought he was great.We were all so used to each other, and so over the top. We thought that becausehe was quiet, he would fit in with us without too much upheaval. He was a greatbass player, too -- and the fact that he was a wizard with electronics was alsoa deciding factor."

 I cannot find any sourcefor the quote by Robert Ahwai, nor much about him, other than the fact that itseems he is a real person. His quote in the article, if it is real, is alsospeculative, and from a person who only knew Deacon from college and had noassociation with him at the time of Freddie Mercury's death.

 Unfortunately, whilesearching for information about whether or not Deacon's relationship withdancer Emma Shelley was, indeed, an affair (as well as whether or not sheexisted) I had to compare information about the affairs of Brian May and RogerTaylor. The reason behind this endeavor is to set the bar for how much information ispublished about the personal lives of Queen members. In my search, I foundseveral articles about May's affair with secretary Julie Glover, as well as ahandful of candid photographs. I also found a few articles, and one picture,about Roger Taylor's affair with Fay Lawrence. Despite celebrities' attempts tokeep extramarital affairs secret, there are always a few photographs thatappear, especially in the UK, where tabloid press is viciously always on thelookout for gossip. Paparazzi can earn quite a bit of money from an exclusivephoto.

 When Simon Langer and hispartner, John McKeown, took over the Sophisticats strip club in 2001, heestablished several club rules, which directly conflict with information fromthe article. First, that clients in the strip club are not allowed to have anycontact whatsoever with the dancers. The article states that Shelley was a"lap dancer," which would, of course, require some pretty close contact.

 Second, dancers are notpermitted to accept addresses or phone numbers from clients. Clients whoacquire personal information are not permitted back into the club, and thedancers are terminated.

 I attempted to findcontact information for Mr. Langer or Mr. McKeown, however, I was unable tofind any current addresses or phone numbers. In hopes that an email would reachthe proper entities, I sent a message to the account set up for bookings andauditions, which was the only email address listed on the site.

 I wished to ask about howstrictly the rules are enforced. I also found it odd that apparently Mr. Langerhad no problem with giving out client information to the Daily Mail,specifically stating that he knew Deacon visited the establishment. Even more shocking,he gave out information about his employees - someone named "Olga"with no last name given, as well as Emma Shelley. This seemed like a breach oftrust to me.

 The strip club that Johnis said to have attended, Sophisticats, does indeed exist. As Sophisticats hasno contact information on their website, I messaged their page on Facebook,asking as to whether they employed any women named "Olga" or"Emma Shelley" circa 2000-2001. I also located an email address aftersome extensive searching, and sent the same question to that email, as well.

 Unfortunately,Sophisticats declined comment to my inquiry. The only response I received askedwhether or not I planned on auditioning.

 The strangest thing aboutJohn Deacon's alleged affair with Emma Shelley is that one particular photo isposed, as if taken with his permission. Considering the fact that multiplesources (including the Daily Mail, which published the photo) state that Deaconis secretive and reclusive, he would not pose for a photo with a mistress if hewished to keep the affair secret. This photo is also blurry, which is atechnique of photomanipulators who have severely edited a photo. Had Deaconactually posed for this photo, there would be no need for it to be blurry, asthe photographer wouldn't have had to rush to take it. Interestingly, it isalso impossible to tell whether or not the man in the photo is actually JohnDeacon.

The answer to this point might seem obvious - the photos were taken in secret.However, with the saturation and contrast in these photos (a point I willexplore in more detail shortly) they must have been taken with a flash. Whileit might have been possible to take such a photo with a high ISO, the entirepicture would have been extremely bright and grainy. If you check the photos,you'll see that there is absolutely no grain indicative of a high ISO, nor isthere enough blurriness to support a conclusion that any grain was removed. Thebrightness of the subject matter and the extreme black background can only meanthat a flash was used.

 Which Deacon would havenoticed. As would have the dancer in the photos. The person who took the photoslikely would have had his camera confiscated, and would have been escorted outof the club - they would not have had the opportunity to take one photo, thenmove, and take a second photo.

 And... This is as far as Igot with the research before I stopped working on it. As I was unable to getany further information (including from another club that may have beeninvolved - Stringfellows) I could not continue my research. Take from this whatyou will.Sorry about the incompleteness of this. It's all I was able to accomplish.

[dramaphan]

When someone asks who is Dan, Phil should just read out loud Dan's wikipedia page.

He can’t even do that because Dan’s Wikipedia page is incredibly inaccurate. It still says he’s a youtuber best known for his channels Daniel Howell and DanAndPhilGAMES