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gibsongibson92-blog · 6 years ago

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junker-town · 4 years ago

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20020: Questions and answers

The world of 20020 is a very strange one, and people are right to have questions. Jon answers some of them here.

I don’t know if I’ve ever had more fun working on a project than I did with 20020. It was a long time in the making, as was this website, Secret Base. We intend this to be a place where we tell stories, whether they happened last night, a hundred years ago, 18,000 years from now, or some nightmarish video game realm that exists outside of time. In that sense, 20020 doesn’t define this place. Secret Base is the place where something like 20020 can actually live. I don’t want to get too overdramatic; Secret Base is a website where me and a bunch of of other jerks make shit we hope you’ll like. It’s a place I love nonetheless.

I started planning 20020 about three years ago, and I wanted to make sure I wasn’t just writing a sequel to 17776 for its own sake. This time I wanted to piece together a single, cohesive story, rather than a series of loose vignettes. I also wanted to explore certain themes more specifically. What happens to the concept of time if time becomes infinite? What defines a “good game,” and can it be laid out completely by accident? Who are Americans – specifically, these Americans, us? What the Hell is this place, and what was it? What would we do with ourselves if we actually got everything we wanted?

I tried to make something bigger and better than 17776, rather than just bolting on another installment. Personally, I feel like I did, but ultimately, those of you who have read it can be the judge of that. At any rate, thank you so much for reading. I know it was a big ask of you – not only is it roughly as long as a book, it’s a mashup of two things that typically don’t go together. A lot of you came in with zero interest in American football, and a lot of you came in without any particular inclination to read a work of science fiction where humankind never explored space because it was too boring.

A couple of people deserve an extra-special thanks here. Graham MacAree edited the piece from start to finish, and help me close as many logical loopholes as we could, picking out every time a player broke a rule, or one rule was inconsistent with another rule. Throughout the whole process, Graham was totally bought in, and was always in favor of making it more weird over less weird.

Meanwhile, Frank Bi engineered the entire thing so it could actually exist on the Internet. I’m still amazed that some of these pages weigh upwards of 50 megabytes, and yet they scroll completely smoothly without glitching out and slowing down. Frank also built an app on the back end that allowed us to easily format things like dialogue.

Anyway. Earlier this week, I solicited any questions you might have had about 20020 – why I made it, how I made it, how the game works, or literally anything else about it. I received a few hundred of those, and while I couldn’t get to all of them, I’ve answered as many as I could. Thanks so much for sending them in.

* * *

I haven’t read it yet - is it good?

– Anonymous

yeah

20020 feels a lot lighter than 17776. Why did you decide to go with that tone?

– hali

It’s interesting to me that it struck that tone with you, and I’m actually glad it did, because at some points the story actually felt slightly darker to me than 17776 did. I had a couple of priorities this time around.

The first was to continue to avoid what I hopefully avoided in 17776, which was writing some kind of morality play. I am tired of reading stories and watching shows that are trying to teach me some kind of lesson. I’m a grown adult! You’re a television, I don’t want to learn concepts like “right and wrong” from you! Fuck off, loser!

Instead, I mean 17776 and 20020 as open-ended explorations of themes and concepts. It’s so great to see people walk away from them with different ideas. Some people see this post-scarcity eternal playpen as Heaven, some see it as a completely nightmarish existence, and some see it as a sometimes-promising, sometimes-unsettling in-between. Far be it from me to call it one way or the other.

when designing The Bowl Game, how bogged down did you get in rules/technicalities? a game of this scale seems so hard to effectively govern, and many readers seemed to get stuck on rules technicalities that didn’t affect the plot much. i guess a better way to phrase this question is: did you develop the rules of the game first and then write a plot around them, or did the rules emerge naturally as you wrote?

– Victoria (@dirtbagqueer)

This was by far the toughest part of the whole thing. The field itself actually inspired the entire story.

Early in 2018, a few months after finishing 17776, I had a little bit of time in between major projects, and that’s when I started drawing up the fields. The geometry and weird aesthetic of it fascinated me. At the same time, I had absolutely no fucking idea what to do with it. I wanted it to make some sort of sense somehow. I wanted to design actual good, solid gameplay within it, but I just could not figure out how to do it. Over the course of two years, I would occasionally open it up and stare at it, practically begging for some kind of solution to present itself.

It never did, and my stupid ass finally got the point: this thing is a tribute to chaotic, senseless institutions. It’s a monument of the absolute nonsense that spews forth from ostensibly rational architecture. Like, imagine the most grating, insulting, senseless corporate drivel you’ve ever heard. To me, this that in the form of a football field.

It all clicked from there. Who would come up with such a bewildering and obnoxious thing? Obviously, Juice would. He’s amused by the literal interpretations of things and he delights in inanity and chaos. I needed Ten to hibernate, because she loves well-considered, intelligent gameplay, and she would have shot him down at every opportunity.

From there, I just wrote the rules in accordance with what I felt would be the most interesting story. After looking at San Diego State’s sad little field, I realized I wanted them to star in the A-plot, and I’ll admit to writing some of the rules in service of their story.

Chapter 4’s Georgia Quarterback is introduced to us by screaming into a phone for a pizza that never gets to him. It’s the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time and I have to know, was there something or some things that inspired it?

– @Kay_N_B

That guy’s ripped straight out of real life. I used to work at a call center doing tech support for an Internet service provider. Legend has it that if you simply yell REPRESENTATIVE or SUPERVISOR to an automated system enough times, it will get you off hold and talking to someone more quickly. This was definitely not true, but it didn’t stop people from trying.

On one occasion, I picked up the phone to a woman yelling SUPERVISOR! SUPERVISOR! SUPERVISOR! SUPERVISOR! over and over and over. She was yelling it so loud that she couldn’t hear me. Or, more likely, she was just holding the receiver to her mouth without actually holding the speaker to her ear. At any rate, I just could not get through to her. After about two minutes of that, I hung up. Sometimes I wonder how much longer she sat there yelling like that.

Is Lori from the Illinois chess chapter the same Lori who talked to the Durabos in the Koy Detmer chapter in 17776?

– Ale

She is! Not for any particular reason, other than that I liked the idea of bringing someone back. She’s named after my fourth-grade teacher and ninth-grade science teacher.

Why do trains still run on diesel fuel and how does this not affect the climate/environment?

– Vince

In this universe, humans have learned how to perfectly synthesize fossil fuels that are environmentally harmless. (That’s why I was fine with Nick just carelessly pouring gallons of diesel fuel on the ground while he was fueling the train.) In my optimistic view of the real-life future, I’m sure we’ll opt to solar power or some other environmentally benign solution, but these peoples’ insistence on fossil fuels reflects what does and doesn’t change about you if you live for thousands of years. If there are no coming generations to prod you along and find solutions of their own, how much would we really be compelled to change?

That’s a foundational theory of this story, however right or wrong: change happens generationally far more than it does internally. Once we grow up, the cake’s baked. With no generations to come, there are no more agents of change, and we’re the same old slobs. I’m going to want to smell gasoline when I mow the lawn.

What would happen if a team relocated its stadium? Or repainted the field within their existing stadium at a slight angle?

– Dave

Another fundamental theme of this story is that humanity, or at least America, is very, very preservationist. Architecturally, very little has changed, because there’s a sense that if things change, they’ll never truly get back what they once had. Whether or not that’s healthy is entirely up for debate.

Someone in the 20020 thread (apologies, can’t find the comment and don’t remember who it was!) had the idea of one school building an apparatus underneath their field that would allow it to rotate. This would be both fascinating and an absolute nightmare to calculate/write, but I loved that.

How did you create the animations and videos and such with Google Earth?

– @xyleb_

Google Earth allows you to import image overlays and slap them over the terrain. It took me a long time to figure out how to get 111 image files to stretch all across the country without the frame rate slowing to like three frames per second. In the end, it was a matter of making the field image files just about as small as possible (20x1 pixels) and stretching them from coast to coast. Given that Google Earth was never intended to do anything like this, I’m kind of stunned by how well it worked.

How do you choose the names for the players? Are they based off people you know or do you just make up names you think sound cool?

– Arp1033

When it comes to naming characters, my biggest screwup was naming the Georgia Tech quarterback Connor O’Malley. Conner is a very, very college football quarterback name, so I just bullshitted a last name that I thought would fit. Not only is Connor O’Malley an actual public figure, he’s actually a guy I’m a fan of and have been aware of for some time, and yet I somehow never connected those dots until a reader pointed it out.

I tried to give lot of consideration to the naming of characters. Since I prioritized representation, I did want to signal that certain characters were Black, or Hispanic, or Asian. Sometimes this was because I felt it was essential to their character, and sometimes it was just for the sake of representation.

In a couple of circumstances, such as the UAB Steamroller poster in which I named literally 125 characters, I partially relied on name generators. Even with those, you have to be careful. At first, I used one that allowed you to generate names that are traditionally women’s names, or more typically Black names, or Asian names. So I was like, all right, give me 50 women’s names, and it returned a bunch of names like Heather and Sally and et cetera. Yes, of course there are Black women named Sally and Asian women named Heather, but if they all have such names, that doesn’t feel entirely representative. So I requested 20 typically Black women’s names, and like six of them were Keisha. All right, cool, thanks! In that case and a few others, I just ditched name generators entirely and took first names from people I’ve known personally.

If I recall correctly, in the 17776 q+a, you talked about Nines identity a little bit and how you wanted to include an NB character in your stories. In this story, is Nine using they/them pronouns a decision they have made to identify as NB?

– Anonymous

Yep, Nine is non-binary. In 17776, Nine was non-binary simply by virtue of only having been conscious for a few days and not even having the time to examine or consider it. But now it’s been a while, and they actively identify as NB.

do you plan on bringing back any other space probes, like hubble in ‘76?

– scotty

Yes! I’ll spill the beans on that now. Hubble was originally going to appear in 20020, but there was just too much other stuff to get to. He’ll be seen in 20021.

how do you manage to find the “non-dull” part of each of the stories you write? like how do you find the newspaper clippings, names, etc?

– Carter Briggs (@carter1137)

Before I started writing, I spent two whole months just scrolling across every single field. If I hit a town, a lake, a mountain, or even a road with a weird name, I’d stop and search the newspaper archives to see if I could find anything interesting. This was definitely a test of Nancy’s sentiment in 17776 that you can’t walk ten feet in American without running into a story.

Technically speaking, it turns out that this is more or less true, but the vast majority of these stories are UNBELIEVABLY FUCKING BORING. As far as a lot of town are concerned, if anything interesting ever happened there, it sure as Hell didn’t make the papers. I’d say a good 10 percent of old newspapers are just, “Mrs. Hubbard took a trip here to visit her sons.” Just a 19th-century proto-Facebook check-in app. But one time out of a hundred, I’d find out about the James gang’s forgotten stash, or the Stannard Rock Lighthouse, or the escapes of Eugene Jennings, and it was all worth it.

I feel really, really gratified by those. I’m not so sure anyone has explored American history the way I did – by literally drawing lines across it and following those lines. It’s a very silly, stupid way to do it, but if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have found some of these things that would otherwise have been lost to history.

What do the probe’s voices sound like over the phone? Synthesized? Uncannily human? Like a Siri kind of thing?

– Anonymous

They sound human, yeah. How exactly they sound, I can’t say, but I can kinda hear Juice. Despite being French, I hear him as a fast-talking, hyper-charismatic, high-energy Southern dude, like some guys I grew up around. Think some weird amalgamation that’s reminiscent of Matthew McConaughey and Chris Tucker.

what is the answer to nines postscript(what happens when a ball is on a intersection)

– Anonymous

So when a ball is on Field A, and it crosses Field B at an intersection, the scoreboard doesn’t change. It still belongs to Field A, and only transfers to Field B if the player makes a turn.

What do video games look like in the year 20020? Do they still make new games or do they just kind of permanently update the old ones, like an MMO or something?

– Ben

This is not necessarily canon, and is just my real-world feeling on the matter seeping out: the real frontiers in gaming aren’t about graphics or technical ability or anything like that, they’re about creativity and art. Like, Breath of the Wild? That plays at 720p on my Switch, and while it’s artistically breathtaking, I think that strictly from a technical perspective, it could have been made 10 or 15 years ago. And yet it’s probably the greatest video game ever made.

Was there always an intention to do multiple parts (17776, 20020, 20021), or did that evolve as you wrote? What does the idea generation stage look like for a story as massive and out there as this one?

– @stxnmxn

When I finished 17776, I knew I wanted to write a sequel at some point, but didn’t always imagine it in two parts. As recently as this summer, I’d planned on writing it all at once before Graham and I decided to break it up. I’d just found too much stuff to condense it into one thing.

Did you have fun writing it?

– benfrosh

yeah

ballground & ballplay — how did you think to link them to this story? were you looking for them? when did you make the connection to the fields?

– @heysihui

That was an unbelievable coincidence! Clemson’s field just ran across both of them. I knew for sure I wanted to talk some about indigenous peoples, and I’ve long been fascinated with the seemingly far-flung concept of replacing war with sports. It was just the perfect opportunity.

I loved how in 20020 there are so many smaller stories being retold, some of which even affect the larger story. Of all the places big and small visited over the course of 20020, which location had your favorite historical event? I think mine was the 1910 Emory Gap runaway train.

– @jj_jjjjj_jjjjjj

The story of Eugene Jennings takes it for me. I was so profoundly touched by the story of a guy who had an incredible gift for escaping. He wasn’t an evil person, he was just born into a world he wasn’t compatible with. I think lots and lots of people like him have lived and died, and I hope we don’t forget them. You can barely find anything about Jennings on the Internet; his story could only be found in old newspapers. I’m honored I got to tell his story. I sure as Hell won’t ever forget him.

first of all, thanks for making an explicitly lgbt couple, one where the romance is directly shown, part of your main cast for 20020. did you really give much thought to it, or was it a decision that felt natural?

– jijo, @optikalcrow

Part of the reason I wrote 17776 in the first place was to take football, which I view to be this spectacular, fascinating thing, and imagine a world where it’s opened up to every single type of person. A long while back, a friend and I were talking about football. He’s gay, and he supposed that while football seemed like the sort of thing he’d like, he never got into it growing up because he “never got the invite.”

So I did that as a means of sending an invite. More generally, I really liked the idea of making a gay couple the main characters because I almost never see that anywhere, and if I do, it’s probably a story about them being gay.

As I did last time, I wanted to represent people completely matter-of-factly. I don’t delve into the experience of being gay, because I don’t have valuable perspective to offer there, but I did want to establish Nick and Manny as fleshed-out, imperfect, warts-and-all human beings. Sometimes they argue, sometimes they make a bad call, sometimes they say stupid things, and sometimes they’re unsure of themselves, just like everybody else.

who is your favorite character to write for?

– @mwuffie

It was a lot of fun writing Nick and Manny’s pointless arguments. Mimi was great too, since she was inspired by a few people who are very close to me. But Bryce, the new Troy recruit from Chapter 10, might be my favorite.

I grew up around so many guys exactly like Bryce. A young guy who’s not sad, really, just mopey. He’s an asshole in a mostly benign way. He seems to want to do nothing but just sit in a parking lot smoking menthols and leaning against his Nissan, and mumble something about wanting to challenge someone to a street race but never, ever actually doing it. He doesn’t seem to actually like or dislike or want anything. You have absolutely no clue what makes him tick or what ever motivates him to do anything, or whether he likes you. He’s just kinda there, but you get the sense that he’s perfectly content. He fucking rules.

I also enjoyed hate-writing Chess Guy. I never bothered to give him a name because he didn’t deserve one. When Graham first read that chapter, the first thing he told me was, “I fucking hate chess guy.” Mission accomplished.

juice mentions in ch 7 that he worked with indigenous tribes to get permission for fields/players to cross native land (which, of course, all of america is native land). some tribes said no — are these tribal lands OOB and/or handled in the rules?

– lily b.

Yep, for the indigenous peoples who did not grant permission, those portions of the field are out of bounds. Some also have special conditions – for instance, a limit on how many players can be on the field at the same time. These changes aren’t reflected visually on the map for two reasons: first, I couldn’t quite figure out how to do it from a technical sense, and second, I didn’t think it was particularly important or appropriate for me to guess which tribes would and wouldn’t grant permission.

Why hasn’t technology really developed that much? Besides the nanobots, there really isn’t anything else. They still watch/follow games through normal tv’s/radios. Just wondering how boring this must be for anyone not involved in the football games.

– permian triassic extinction event

I think old people just like what they like and don’t need much more, and these are the oldest people in history. Just like folks from decades ago were perfectly fine with their three TV channels and crossword puzzle, I think we’d be okay with an eternity of, I don’t know, online gaming.

Not to be a downer but at times I felt almost guilty about this future with nothing left that needs to be done while we live in this society that’s a total hell-hole for so many. Did you have any feelings like that while writing? Is there a message here linking our harsh reality with the immortal 20020 world that went over my head?

– Anonymous

These times are full of struggle and defeat. The thing I want most and believe in most for this country and this world are things I might never get to see for myself. But god damn it, I will imagine them. It’s practice for the real thing. I believe that one day we’ll actually have the world we want, and we’d better have a plan when that day comes. What are we gonna do with it?

Is it pronounced 20020 or 20020

– Mylograms

20020, yeah.

Any other questions? Graham and I will be hanging out in the comments sections for a while, so feel free to yell at us down there.

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allenmendezsr · 4 years ago

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Here Is Secret # 1

True success and happiness comes when you are at peace spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially and mentally.

If any of those elements are missing, you will experience something known as call a spiritual imbalance.

And when it happens, you will forever feel a void within that can begin affecting you in more ways than you can imagine.

This spiritual imbalance is literally what separates those who experience success on all levels from those who work hard, pay their dues and still fail miserably.

Now realize that when I say failure, I’m not just talking about the act of not achieving a goal. I’m also talking about the feeling of being a failure.

Because let’s face it; your reality is nothing more than your perceived reality.

So if you FEEL like a failure, you are, no matter what great results you may have achieved in life.

This is often why we see people who seem to “have it all” like Hollywood celebrities or professional athletes who are constantly ruining their lives through the use of drugs, alcohol or anything else that they feel will mask the pain represented by the imbalance within them.

Haven’t you ever come across a person – who in your mind has everything anyone could ever ask for – but feels unfulfilled or as though they are a failure?

Most of the time we see people like this and can’t understand how they could feel like failures with what they have achieved in life – be it fame, fortune, stardom, wealth, etc.

But what is occurring here are the effects of spiritual imbalance. The void begins to take hold of the mind and they literally start creating a dark reality for themselves.

So let me ask you; is there a part (or parts) of your life that you just can’t seem to excel at no matter how hard you try?

Is there one area – that you wish for just a second – could come as easy to you as it does for others?

Are you beginning to think that maybe you’re “cursed” or that the Universe is working against you in this particular area for whatever reason?

Well I’m here to tell you that you can achieve success in EVERY single area of your life.

You just have to know how to solve the problem.

And that solution is what I realized in the second secret that to want to share with you today…

Here Is Secret # 2

The second secret that I want to share with you today has to do with miracles.

A miracle is defined as an unexpected event that takes place as a result of divine intervention.

Perhaps this has happened to you sometime in your life; you are in a situation where it seemed as though the odds were against you and there was no way possible that you could win and suddenly a life changing positive outcome took place in your favor.

Or maybe there was a point in your life where nothing seemed like it was going right and suddenly soaring out of the blue all these great things began to happen to you.

You may have called these things, miracles or good luck.

You may have attributed them to nothing more than mere chance, but the reality is that beneath the surface, something extremely fascinating and powerful is taking place.

You see whether you realize it or not your reality or what you experience in your reality is nothing more than what you perceive reality to be.

Therefore, the key to experiencing a life of joy, happiness and fulfillment lies within. It lies in being able to change your mind and your belief system.

This certainly may not be news to you and I’m sure you’ve heard countless people tell you this.

But what they haven’t told you is HOW you actually accomplish this goal.

And that’s what I want to share in the third secret.

Here Is Secret #3

Secret number three has to do with the most effective thing you can do to clear your mind; it’s called Meditation.

Now I know you may have heard of Meditation before, but you should realize (as I did) that Meditation is more than simply learning to relax.

Meditation is an incredibly profound system that helps you to totally change the way you view yourself and the world and, therefore, it radically impacts how you experience the world.

Mediation is like an “owner’s manual” for your mind.

It teaches you the importance of being aware of the workings of your mind and then helps you learn how to master your thoughts and feelings so you can actually become empowered to pick and choose what you think and feel and, as a result, pick and choose what you experience in your life.

Here’s What Countless Years Of Research And Experience Have Shown Me

Until you gain complete spiritual balance you will forever feel stuck in certain areas of your life which will cause a feeling of emptiness inside.

Until you begin to change your thought processes and give your mind what it needs, you won’t be able to solve this problem.

Without meditation, you can’t accomplish what I just mentioned.

While they may sound extremely simple, these 3 secrets that I have just shared with you basically encompass everything you ever need to know about attaining true spiritual Oneness with the Universe which will help you feel less stressed and anxious and more happy and empowered all at the same time.

Here’s The Truth

Even though what I’ve shared with you is simple, it’s not easy for many people.

You see, there’s a big difference between something being simple and something being easy.

Simple means the concept isn’t hard to understand. Easy means the concept can be applied with minimal effort.

And the truth is… meditation can be HARD work for some people.

Try telling someone who just lost their job or just came out of a long relationship to try to quiet their mind. It’s extremely challenging.

Knowing this, I set out on a life mission many years ago to create a system that could serve as a universal resource that ANYONE could use to master the art of mediation and begin manifesting miracles in their life simple AND easily.

And now, after years of research, practice, dedication and experience I’m happy to say that system is finally here.

Introducing “The Magical Keys of Self Mastery” by Yanni Maniates

(This program consists of a 175 page electronic manual along with a 35 page study guide and 3 hour audio)

Here’s a snapshot of what you will discover in this life changing program: The Unique Power Within – Here you’ll discover the key to utilizing the individual power that resides within you personally.

The Power Of Visualization – One of the main elements involved in utilizing the law of attraction is the ability to visualize the way you want your future to look. Here you will learn a how to effectively leverage the power of visualization.

The Key To The Opening Process – In order for the manifesting process to be effective, you must be open to receiving what the universe provides.

Achieving Internal Happiness – Here you’ll discover how you can find true happiness within regardless of what your external world looks like at all times and never take anything for granted.

Everyday Manifestation – Discover the secret to ensuring that every day of your life starts out in the right direction.

Creating Universal Response – Here you’ll discover exactly how you can create the response from the universe that you desire every single time.

Manifesting Miracles In Relationships – Here I’ll show you how to attract everything you’ve ever wanted in terms of relationships into your life.

The Role Of Self Reflection – Your view of yourself or your self reflection is extremely important in the manifesting process. Here I’ll show you how to ensure your outlook remains positive.

Overcoming Personality Obstacles – Manifesting miracles will at times involve dealing with difficult people. Here I’ll show you how to overcome any obstacles that you may come across so that the desired outcome always takes place regardless of who’s involved.

Paradigm Shift To Attract Money – Discover a powerful secret to using your perspective on life to attract more money into it.

The Key To Constant Happiness – Just because you have everything you’ve ever wanted in life doesn’t necessarily mean that you will always be happy. Here you’ll discover exactly how to do just that.

The Secret To Everyday Success – Learn a special technique to ensure every day is a successful and happy one.

The Importance Of Stillness – Discover the power of gaining complete oneness with the universe and clearing your mind.

The Keys to Relaxing and Managing Stress – Effortlessly release the debilitating effects of Stress.

Use These Techniques With Your Family and Children – Examples of how to incorporate these techniques into the core of your life.

Learn to “Listen” to the Wisdom Within You – Access the “still, small voice within” where all your Wisdom resides.

“Magical Keys is a gift to the world, written in the simplest, gentlest and most profound of languages–Love.”

“Magical Keys is a gift to the world, written in the simplest, gentlest and most profound of languages: “love. I can’t think of anyone else in this busy hectic world more qualified than Yanni to deliver this message of “connectedness” to the world. His words are genuine and effective because he walks the enlightened walk. Anyone who reads this book will be able to apply the lessons easily. The results will have immediate and long-lasting positive effects, which will also ripple out to the lives of those around them.”

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Loving husband, father, teacher of intuition, meditation and Self-Mastery and baseball coach, Yanni lives his life in the same way he writes; with warmth, simplicity, compassion, kindness, passion and always in alignment with the wisdom and joy of his soul. This book is a must-read for the student of meditation or intuition. Do yourself a favor and get a hold Magical Keys. You will be giving yourself a great gift!”

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“Yanni has penned a simple yet insightful masterpiece…”

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“Magical Keys is both heartfelt and practical.”

“If you want peace, Yanni Maniates shows you the path. He masterfully guides you to connect with the divine experience of both yourself and others. Yanni”s book, Magical Keys to Self-Mastery is both heartfelt and practical.” –Terri Marie, award-winning author of Be the Hero of Your Own Game.

http://www.herobookonline.com

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Action makes everything else effective.

Inaction makes everything else useless.

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1. How to prepare to meditate: 6:14

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Just so you know, you’ll be able to listen to all these audio files on your computer or download them and make CDs for listening while you are in your car. You might even want to download them to an iPod or other mp3 listening device so you can enjoy them at your convenience. The choice is yours. Now I’ve done my part. I’ve done the research and came up with a winning formula that I KNOW will change your life forever. Now it’s your turn. Own The Magical Keys To Self Mastery program today, and in as little as a few hours you can begin putting your new found knowledge to work………. and change your life.

To your success,

Yanni Maniates

One final note….

PS – Remember you have nothing to lose and everything to gain because if you are not 100% satisfied with this program, you can return it for a full refund

with no questions asked.

PPS – The first step toward manifesting miracles is taking action today. The

action you take today will positively impact your life moving forward. So don’t

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There is a 100% money-back guarantee for the whole Magical Keys to

Self-Mastery: Creating Miracles in Your Life package. If, for any reason,

you are not satisfied with Magical Keys, just let me know within 8 weeks

of your purchase and you’ll be given a courteous, prompt refund.

Remember, you can download Magical Keys and its bonuses almost

immediately after you purchase, even if it’s 2:00 o’clock in the morning.

The cost for the “Magical Keys” package is only $37 $27! Copyright 2007, 2010, 2011 “Magical Keys to Self-Mastery: Creating Miracles in Your Life All right reserved. Yanni Maniates, Mentor with the Masters” Press, Life Mastery Institute 520 Stevens Road Morrisville, PA 19067 Email: [email protected]

0 notes

becauseithrewgasandamatchonher · 7 years ago

Text

So can’t message you for some reason, doesn’t work when I send a message so why don’t we put everything under a read me so it doesn’t get so damn long.

One:

You know what if you won’t take my word for it listen to James Grossman the Executive Director of the American Historical Association:

James Grossman, the executive director of the American Historical Association, says that the increase in statues and monuments was clearly meant to send a message.

"These statues were meant to create legitimate garb for white supremacy," Grossman said. "Why would you put a statue of Robert E. Lee or Stonewall Jackson in 1948 in Baltimore?"

(http://www.npr.org/2017/08/20/544266880/confederate-statues-were-built-to-further-a-white-supremacist-future)

Or Doctor Mark Elliot:

“All of those monuments were there to teach values to people,” Elliott says. “That’s why they put them in the city squares. That’s why they put them in front of state buildings.” Many earlier memories had instead been placed in cemeteries.

The values these monuments stood for, he says, included a “glorification of the cause of the Civil War.”

(http://www.history.com/news/how-the-u-s-got-so-many-confederate-monuments)

I know you like to use your opinion instead of sources but I’m excited to see how you explain this away or discredit these people. Especially the guy in charge of the American Historical Association.

Two:

Oh yeah because few people on the left are burning stuff that suddenly means everyone who is left leaning is for that. Are you out of your fucking mind? This is fucking ridiculous you think they speak for the entirety of the Left?? Like show me facts. Show me statistics that it’s a wide spread thing on our side then maybe I’ll take these people seriously until then chill the fuck out.

Also let’s talk about this article in regards to colleges. First and foremost again with the misuse of freedom of speech unless you’re going to fight all the times students have gotten expelled from Universities for saying slurs and shit you really need to chill out with your problem you have with a University exercising their right to not allow someone on to the campus and people exercising their right to protest until they are heard.

There is a code of conduct at Universities and it’s beyond ridiculous if a school is okay with inviting someone that has said/done things that go against that code of conduct when if I a student did any of that I would be fucking expelled. Them bringing that person in shows what the schools values are before you say “well they aren’t students.” If I owned a school and decided I was going to let Sean Spencer [a neo nazi who has called for ethnic genocide] come speak to my students that would say something about myself and my schools values.

Ann Coulter has said some fucked up shit to include the homophobic word f*ggot. She’s said "We should invade their countries, kill their leaders, and convert them to Christianity." She’s said "I think the government should be spying on all Arabs, engaging in torture as a televised spectator sport, dropping daisy cutters wantonly throughout the Middle East and sending liberals to Guantanamo." She’s said “ Jews would be “perfected” once they became Christians.”

Do I need to keep going about the fucked up shit she has said? No one owes this woman a fucking platform she’s garbage. I read something once about how speech can be violent because of the effect it has on the body and the brain but there’s something that stands out to me:

The scientific findings I described above provide empirical guidance for which kinds of controversial speech should and shouldn’t be acceptable on campus and in civil society. In short, the answer depends on whether the speech is abusive or merely offensive.

Offensiveness is not bad for your body and brain. Your nervous system evolved to withstand periodic bouts of stress, such as fleeing from a tiger, taking a punch or encountering an odious idea in a university lecture.

Entertaining someone else’s distasteful perspective can be educational. Early in my career, I taught a course that covered the eugenics movement, which advocated the selective breeding of humans. Eugenics, in its time, became a scientific justification for racism. To help my students understand this ugly part of scientific history, I assigned them to debate its pros and cons. The students refused. No one was willing to argue, even as part of a classroom exercise, that certain races were genetically superior to others.

So I enlisted an African-American faculty member in my department to argue in favor of eugenics while I argued against; halfway through the debate, we switched sides. We were modeling for the students a fundamental principle of a university education, as well as civil society: When you’re forced to engage a position you strongly disagree with, you learn something about the other perspective as well as your own. The process feels unpleasant, but it’s a good kind of stress — temporary and not harmful to your body — and you reap the longer-term benefits of learning.

What’s bad for your nervous system, in contrast, are long stretches of simmering stress. If you spend a lot of time in a harsh environment worrying about your safety, that’s the kind of stress that brings on illness and remodels your brain. That’s also true of a political climate in which groups of people endlessly hurl hateful words at one another, and of rampant bullying in school or on social media. A culture of constant, casual brutality is toxic to the body, and we suffer for it.

That’s why it’s reasonable, scientifically speaking, not to allow a provocateur and hatemonger like Milo Yiannopoulos to speak at your school. He is part of something noxious, a campaign of abuse. There is nothing to be gained from debating him, for debate is not what he is offering.

On the other hand, when the political scientist Charles Murray argues that genetic factors help account for racial disparities in I.Q. scores, you might find his view to be repugnant and misguided, but it’s only offensive. It is offered as a scholarly hypothesis to be debated, not thrown like a grenade. There is a difference between permitting a culture of casual brutality and entertaining an opinion you strongly oppose. The former is a danger to a civil society (and to our health); the latter is the lifeblood of democracy.

By all means, we should have open conversations and vigorous debate about controversial or offensive topics. But we must also halt speech that bullies and torments. From the perspective of our brain cells, the latter is literally a form of violence.

(https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/14/opinion/sunday/when-is-speech-violence.html?mcubz=1)

Now can you say that being anti-Semitic [Jewish people will be perfected by becoming Christian] calling for the invasion, murder and forced conversion to Christianity [man that has a long history of fucking up countries] saying that we should televise and condone torture AND drop fucking bombs [daisy cutters] throughout the Middle East isn’t fucking abusive and oppressive? I mean you could but it’s garbage.

Three:

I love that you left out what that statement was in reference to. You said no one who is affected by it cares which was a blatant lie and you’ve obviously ignored the copious amounts of NA that have called for this stuff to be removed.

Your facts were called bullshit because they didn’t support your original statement.

You do realize it doesn’t fucking matter if 4.7 million don’t care right? Those 520k+ NA still exist and they give a damn so your statement the people affected don’t care is a fucking lie and using that article to push your narrative that is fucking wrong makes it bullshit. It’s not because I don’t like evidence. It’s because the evidence you have provided is garbage and doesn’t support the statement YOU FUCKING MADE. You don’t get to fucking decide an issue doesn’t matter because the majority of said group doesn’t care about it.

Four:

Nothing you said changes that the article detailed how to help the NA community. So either your article is good and the information is sound or it’s bad. You can’t pick and choose. You can’t use part of the articles information to back up your statement then trash the rest of it. Do you know how that makes a source look?

Doesn’t matter why you omitted it. The point remains it proved my point that the government was fucking the NA community over. Your source that you provided agrees that what the government is doing with the land [along with the cigerrets and the casinos] are hurting the community.

Hmmmm that’s fair the US has provided that but uhm just a quick thing:

Since it was first established within the old U.S. War Department in 1824, the Bureau of Indian Affairs (BIA) has distinguished itself as the most corrupt, ineffective and abusive agency in the federal government. Although the BIA now professes the greatest respect for "tribal sovereignty" and "tribal self-determination," there is precious little evidence of genuine concern for tribal autonomy in its administration of federal Indian policy as its recent illegal intervention into the internal affairs of the Cherokee Nation of Oklahoma substantiates. The overwhelming weight of evidence tells a very different story about BIA policy making. By any standard, the BIA is a colossal failure as a government agency and the dead weight of its administrative wreckage represents the single greatest obstacle to the freedom, prosperity, cultural integrity and progress of Native Americans. Until the BIA is abolished and federal Indian policy is fundamentally reformed, the future holds little promise of a significant change in the lives of Native Americans.

(http://www.cherokeeobserver.org/Issues/abolishbiapart2.html)

Five:

I don’t use reddit. Ever. So like again I say just say the shit you wanna say so I don’t waste my fucking time responding to it??

Six:

So the fact that they haven’t paid there bills somehow means they deserve to be living with dirty fucking pipes? They deserve the city officials to not fix the fucking pipes that a lot of them have been prosecuted over for their role in it?

The first thing that you said in this post was this: We’ve given you everything you want, but you just want more you greedy layabouts. So you didn’t originally say anything about people only complaining on twitter. Try reading through your own statements.

Seven:

You know how you said that I was misquoting you [which I wasn’t lol] it’s nice to see you doing the same thing. Here’s what I said:

ALSO I don’t know if you know this but not everyone is able to go out and do the stuff I do whether it’s age, whether it’s economical, whether it’s because they have a disability of some sort so calling them a lay about is so many levels of wrong not to mention talking this stuff on the internet can and often does get people involved who can do stuff to do so. You discounting the power of words and the internet is illogical and just to ridiculous for words.

At no point did I say that no one out of the people I listed could go out in protests but the fact remains that for every child, poor person, disabled person that can go there’s someone that can’t so again you calling these people layabouts is fucking garbage, but I love that you think the links you provided mean EVERYONE in those particular communities can do something.

Eight:

Yes. It’s quite possible since you’re more likely to live in poverty if you were in poverty as a child (https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/rich-kids-stay-rich-poor-kids-stay-poor/) (http://www.nccp.org/publications/pub_911.html) (https://www.brookings.edu/blog/social-mobility-memos/2016/02/19/a-college-degree-is-worth-less-if-you-are-raised-poor/) (http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2014/06/the-long-shadow-poverty-baltimore-poor-children/) and having literally all your money, land and shit stripped away from is a sure fire way to put people in poverty if I ever saw one.

I honestly can’t expect much from someone that thinks institutional oppression doesn’t exist. I mean I can’t blame you for not understanding this “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” thing is garbage and has always been garbage

Nine:

Read the following: (http://www.aaihs.org/slavery-the-13th-amendment-and-mass-incarceration-a-response-to-patrick-rael/) (http://www.historyisaweapon.com/defcon1/gilmoreprisonslavery.html) (https://www.afsc.org/story/slavery-mass-incarceration) (https://www.democracynow.org/2016/10/3/from_slavery_to_mass_incarceration_ava) (https://eji.org/enslavement-to-mass-incarceration-museum) (http://racism.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1470:institutionalized-slavery&catid=137&Itemid=155&showall=1&limitstart=)

Also let’s talk about your articles

The one talking about Black leaders: I’m all for admitting there were other circumstances as well but the idea that the war on drugs wasn’t to attack Black communities (http://jezebel.com/nixons-policy-advisor-admits-he-invented-war-on-drugs-t-1766359595) or that drugs weren’t funneled into the community (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/10/gary-webb-dark-alliance_n_5961748.html) is factually incorrect.

Also there being other contributing factors to Mass Incarceration doesn’t suddenly mean it didn’t start with slavery. That’s not how that works.

The first article:

Is the fact that Black politicians are on board with this and that there’s some racist black guy trying to put Black people in more economic poverty supposed to prove anything?

Ten:

Have you ever experienced poverty? Have you ever experienced being so poor you can’t feed your own children [due to racism in the job market and a slew of other things] that you turn to crime to feed said children? If the choice is between starvation for yourself and your children and committing a crime that’s not a real choice.

One I didn’t bring the law in to this [despite the fact there are numerous racist legal practices] but I’m glad you can recognize that stuff from 100 years ago can affect today albeit even if you’re saying so in just a legal capacity. But please tell me how your comment is right but mine is wrong when I say stuff from 100+ years ago can affect people today?

Eleven:

We are having a debate/argument/discussion whatever you want to call it and while you are right it’s not a research paper when you do this stuff you need to have your fact straight.

For example I haven’t gotten stuff wrong here that’s fine but nothing I’ve gotten wrong has presented me as a possible racist liar [your own actions even if they were by accident are the same actions that racist people have done. People I’ve had this conversation with before so if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck it’s a duck until I know otherwise. AGAIN that was your fault. My initial evaluation of you was your own fault.]

Twelve:

Don’t really care. If I’ve got the facts to back me up I’ll cuss all I want especially when it’s about topics that directly affect me and others like me. If you allow my insults to detract from the facts that’s something YOU need to work on not me because even if you had cussed me out I still would have read your sources and I would have replied to them in kind.

If my argument is supported by facts and you think me being mean to you delegitimizes my argument that is supported by facts that means you don’t care about the facts because someone was mean to you. People need to stop using people being mean to them as a way to negate facts.

Thirteen:

So I realized I didn’t actually link my source apparently lol?? I thought I did so that’s on me but it was a list of articles from google talking about the issue but I already know we are gonna run into this problem again later down so I’ll save what I am going to say for then.

Fourteen:

So all you’ve got is your opinions didn’t I say don’t bother responding if you couldn’t give me something other than your opinion?

However there is something I will address. Yes we commit more violent crimes I won’t ever deny that because I know it’s a fact. I frequently use those FBI tables in conversations. What I will say though is violent crimes doesn’t encompass everything so let’s talk about that other stuff:

Even more surprising is what gets left out of the chart: Blacks are far more likely to be arrested for selling or possessing drugs than whites, even though whites use drugs at the same rate. And whites are actually more likely to sell drugs:

Whites were about 45 percent more likely than blacks to sell drugs in 1980, according to an analysis of the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth by economist Robert Fairlie. This was consistent with a 1989 survey of youth in Boston. My own analysis of data from the 2012 National Survey on Drug Use and Health shows that 6.6 percent of white adolescents and young adults (aged 12 to 25) sold drugs, compared to just 5.0 percent of blacks (a 32 percent difference).

This partly reflects racial differences in the drug markets in black and white communities. In poor black neighborhoods, drugs tend to be sold outdoors, in the open.

(https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2014/09/30/white-people-are-more-likely-to-deal-drugs-but-black-people-are-more-likely-to-get-arrested-for-it/?utm_term=.1797b7e3e9ef)

To compound on this cops just don’t seem to care about white people doing this stuff. (https://www.aclu.org/issues/mass-incarceration/smart-justice/war-marijuana-black-and-white) (https://privacysos.org/blog/there-goes-your-overtime-cop-explains-why-police-dont-target-powerful-whites-in-drug-enforcement/) The CIA definitely didn’t care when they were targeting Black people and Hippies.

Not to mention white people are now calling for a gentler war on drugs now because of a fucking heroin crisis (https://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/31/us/heroin-war-on-drugs-parents.html?mcubz=1) but I mean fuck the Black community right? Let’s support laws that put them in jail (http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/science/2014/08/racial_bias_in_criminal_justice_whites_don_t_want_to_reform_laws_that_harm.html)

Black people are more likely to have their cars searched despite the fact that they find more illegal stuff on white people (https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/10/27/police-are-searching-black-drivers-more-often-but-finding-more-illegal-stuff-with-white-drivers-2/?utm_term=.e402ec8667c4)

Black people are more likely to be stopped and frisked despite the fact that white people carry more contraband (https://thinkprogress.org/white-people-stopped-by-new-york-police-are-more-likely-to-have-guns-or-drugs-than-minorities-9bf579a2b9b3/)

And there’s this too: (https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2016/07/data-police-racial-bias)

So that information about violent crime doesn’t suddenly fix everything.

ALSO Black people are more likely to be in poverty so there’s a racial aspect to all of this isn’t if it isn’t the single contributing factor. One of the reasons is probably this: (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2915472/) or this: (http://www.epi.org/publication/african-americans-are-paid-less-than-whites-at-every-education-level/)

Fifteen:

Columbus was also trash and his statues need to be removed and Columbus day should be replaced with Indigenous People’s Day [it’s already happening but all of America needs to get with the times] again books, museums and mandatory curriculums exist that’s not gonna change.

Have you heard anyone call for the removal of museums that are about educating people? I know for a fact that the African American History and Heritage Museum has a section about Civil War and there’s no way people would remove that. Now a museum glorifying the actions of the Confederate sure remove it. History like that should be remembered not glorified.

Educating isn’t glorifying and if you can’t tell the difference between those two words I can’t help you. NOT TO FUCKING MENTION it’s the people that are supporting this shit that are ALL FOR revising ACTUAL HISTORY BOOKS that teach kids about this stuff. We aren’t the ones doing what you’re accusing us of. The right is.

Sixteen:

Soooo you’re against pedophilic material being censored since no one should be forcibly censored? I mean that’s cool…I guess….I can’t even.

Now obviously, I don’t actually believe you believe that but your stance is no censorship is good but if you budge that means in certain circumstances it is. So who are you to decide what those circumstances are? Mine reasons are based off the racist history of the statues and their continued presence in a society that claims to be post racial/racism

Seventeen:

So I’ve already proven that you’re wrong about why those statues were put up from two very reliable sources but I am eager to see how you plan to discredit them or if you’re even gonna bother providing sources and are going to use your opinion again which will not hold up to that.

Anyway those statues were put up to glorify the reasons the south seceded [racism along many other things] and to terrorize Black people. It wasn’t solely about memorializing their fallen [I’ll agree that was part of the reason] but like that part shouldn’t matter since the racism is quite clear now. At least to anyone that cares about sources.

Eighteen:

Things happened in the past that effect the present [which you agreed with] and therefore reconciliation should be made.

Also you didn’t have a single source to back up your opinions so you saying it’s not real doesn’t mean shit to me because your opinion doesn’t mean shit without fucking sources. Your word isn’t fucking fact.

OH MY GOD yes because a Black man managed to do that with some KKK members that means they can all have that happen? Didn’t you get “mad” at me earlier for something along these lines? You are a joke if you think the people he convered represent the entitirety of the population of the KKK which is said to be 3000 people (http://www.epi.org/publication/african-americans-are-paid-less-than-whites-at-every-education-level/) We don’t even have a number of how many people he converted but you wanna use that as proof that all these racist fucks aren’t gonna stay that way?

Fine I will change my stance THE MAJORITY OF THESE FUCKS will continue to be the way they are unless there are serious consequences for the fucking behavior whether it’s getting expelled from college, losing their job or someone beating the ever living shit out of them. This is not me saying I condone violence but my point stands.

Nineteen:

Do you realize the KKK have been marching around the US before this? Do you realize the Nazism and all that was on the rise before this happened? Also when it comes to PoC people claim the victim narrative is bullshit but let it be the KKK and Neo-Nazis all of a sudden it’s got legitimacy that’s racist bullshit.

Their beliefs don’t change facts. Their history is racist. The KKK is racist. Neo-Nazism is racist. The Confederacy seceded for multiple reasons but one of them was RACISM. The fact that people are claiming to agree with them is just more proof that our country is racist but of course no one will go for that because these people are the actual ones trying to erase fucking history.

Things aren’t always black and white. Things don’t always happen because of racism but you acting like systematic oppression doesn’t exist is factually incorrect, moronic and doesn’t help shit in tearing down these systems in order to help people.

REMINDER: PUT YOUR RESPONSE UNDER A READ MORE

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wingsy-keeper-of-songs · 7 years ago

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Kept Promises

Anon asked: Could you write a cute fic about Schultz and Nora having a fancy dinner together?

So I’ve been busy with work over the past few days, but I managed to get myself awake enough to pull this little number out of my head and onto the page. Here, we have Nora and Schultz catching up after a few months or upwards of about a year of separation. I’ve somewhat changed my take on their relationship. Where Nora was once his partner in crime, she’s now a dear friend King goes to visit after a particularly long bounty hunt. The two get closer and closer until one catches feelings for the other. Another thing, I based most of King’s interactions with Nora off of how he acted towards Hildy which was with the utmost respect, and he actually seemed a bit flustered. I mean, I would be too because Hildy is GORGEOUS. But I wondered if he acted like that around other ladies, and so this plot bunny evolved. Without further ado, here’s your request, Anon!

Standing there having a staring contest with the door was not solving anything, a lone gentleman thought to himself. If he were going to get anything done today, it ought to be at least a house call on a friend. Granted, his title of doctor was more of a ruse nowadays and he hadn’t made a house call in at least five years, but that was beside the point. It had been ages since his last visit and he was starting to think that perhaps he had the wrong address, but continued to stare at the door in front of him. If he were to knock, there would be a good chance that this was indeed the wrong house and he was internally panicking for nothing. But there was also a good chance of this being the correct house which was another thing entirely. He mulled the address over in his head, and debated with himself about knocking on the door.

However, it seemed the universe was in favor of embarrassing him today because the door opened and standing on the stairwell was indeed the person he had been trying to see.

“You’ve been standing outside my doorstep for at least ten minutes,” Nora informed him in her imperious fashion that he admired so much. “I was beginning to think you must have misplaced your mind.”

“I find I do that every so often,” Schultz replied with a small sheepish smile. “I was wondering whether or not I had the right house. I seemed to have misplaced your address.”

“And your plan was to simply stare at the door until it came to you?” She asked with a quirk of a perfectly arched eyebrow.

“Maybe,” he admitted. “But at least I have found the correct house.”

“Indeed,” she said, folding her arms over her chest. “What brings you by today?” Again, he smiled at her, taking note of the color rising in her cheeks.

“I thought to make a house call,” he informed her. “It has been quite some time since we spoke last. A few months, perhaps?”

“Longer,” the woman replied. “I’d thought to send you a letter, but you’re so nomadic. It would be quite pointless, wouldn’t you agree?”

“I would, but this is a conversation best held inside.” He nodded at the open door. “As long as you are not upset with me?” He trailed off, looking at her with his best impression of a sad dog. She hid a smile and beckoned him inside.

“Not as much as I ought to be,” she admitted. “In fact, I’m quite relieved to see you’re still standing. Come along inside, it’s been some time since our last chat.” With a sigh of relief that he didn’t realize he was holding back, he hopped up the few steps to the foyer and followed her up the stairs. “I’m to understand your bounty gave you quite the chase this time,” she said as they headed to the second floor. He shrugged.

“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” he said matter-of-factly. He was not prideful, nor was he boastful. “Though he did give a good chase. I managed to track him down to a seedy little establishment somewhere in Mississippi.” She grimaced at the thought.

“I never cared for Mississippi,” she said as she unlocked the door. “I’d been carted away to visit too many plantations over there. The weather is atrocious and I tend to avoid states that uphold slavery.” That was a bit rich, coming from a woman born in the American South, but he knew her well. Like himself, she was an abolitionist, and very fiercely so.

“I wasn’t fond of it myself,” he agreed because he wasn’t. “It was far too hot in my opinion. Not enough mountains either.”

“You Germans and your mountains,” she shook her head. “I’d head west if that was what you were looking for. And I’m told there are a few further north as well.”

“Well, the bounty was headed south, so naturally I followed him.” Schultz said. “I’m just glad our chase didn’t bring us closer to Candyland. I believe I still have a bit of a reputation there.” Nora headed into the kitchen, but she was still listening.

“If you had any sense at all, you’d stay far away from Candyland.” She said darkly. “Lord only knows what Calvin would do to you if he heard you were sniffing around his plantation again.”

“I haven’t been back since the previous visit,” Schultz said, brushing down his vest and looking offended at the very idea that he’d go looking for trouble. “Trust me, I know when to quit.”

“Lying does not become you,” Nora said as she came into the living room armed with tea. “You’re as stubborn as I am and twice as foolish. You would take any chance to invoke Calvin’s wrath, and the both of us know it. How Django put up with that is beyond me.”

“Have you seen him lately?” Schultz asked. “After we went our separate ways, I’m afraid I haven’t heard much from him or his lovely wife.”

“Broomhilda is pregnant,” Nora answered, timing it perfectly just as Schultz was about to take a drink. He nearly choked.

“What?” He said intelligently after reminding his lungs what air was.

“I believe you heard me the first time,” Nora said, hiding another smile. “She and Django have settled someplace in the North last I heard. She’s rather excited from what I can make of her letters. She’s such a sweet lady.” Schultz nodded.

“She and Django will be wonderful parents,” he said with a smile. “I have the utmost faith in them.”

“Of course you do, you love those two like they were family.” Nora said. “I believe you’ve managed to avoid my question, Dr. Schultz.” He frowned in confusion.

“I’m sorry?”

“The meaning of your visit,” Nora clarified. “Pleasant though it is, I’m afraid I still don’t rightly know what brought you here. It couldn’t have been just to see me. Is there another bounty?” Schultz wondered about that. He hadn’t thought about what to tell her when he’d come to visit. He just missed the lady, really. He’d gotten used to having someone along with him when he went hunting, but nowadays, it was a lonely business.

“No bounty,” he shook his head. “Truth be told, Eleanor, I came to see you because I missed you.”

“Oh?” Nora blinked. “Did you?” He nodded.

“Yes,” and he left it at that.

“Well, I suppose I ought to tell you that I missed you as well.” She replied with a fond smile. “Hardly anyone comes by to see me outside of the children, you know.” Schultz wondered about taking the hand that rested on the arm of her chair. Being a teacher wasn’t nearly as lonely as being a bounty hunter, but he could relate. He imagined children were only interesting after a short time. Though he was extremely patient and loved children, he had a bit of a wandering mind. Things tended to get boring for him rather quickly which was why he moved around so much. Well, that and also because he had yet to catch his brother’s murderers.

“And how are the children?” He inquired because it was polite and because he was interested. “Are they doing well?”

“As well as to be expected,” Nora sighed. “Our school is so small, and there are so many of them. Books are beginning to get hard to come by. Funding is at an all time low, that sort of thing. It seems our government doesn’t favor education as strongly as they ought to.”

“What a pity,” Schultz said with a sigh. “Education is quite literally the most important aspect in life, wouldn’t you say so?”

“As a teacher, I am bound to agree.” Nora replied. “Though even if I weren’t, I would agree still. But try explaining that to our governor. I’ve written to him several times, but each time it’s as if I were talking to the wallpaper.”

“The man is as dull as wallpaper,” Schultz mumbled, having met the man once. Nora laughed and he felt his heartbeat quicken.

“It really has been too long since I saw you last,” she informed him. “I’ve missed our conversations.”

“As have I. People often consider those who talk to the dead mad if they were to happen along them,” Schultz said with a self-deprecating chuckle.

“I would think you mad otherwise. I’ve seen that tooth cart of yours.” Nora laughed.

“I like my tooth cart.”

“I’m aware.” She paused for a moment and glanced at the clock. “I wonder,” she began. “You don’t have anywhere to be, do you?”

“Er, not that the moment.” Schultz said. “Why?”

“Because I think it would be nice if the two of us were to have dinner together tonight.” Nora replied. “I haven’t seen you in months and it feels nice to laugh again. We could catch up even more if you would like. There’s a little inn just south of here that would be lovely. Would you like to join me?” Schultz thought about this for a moment, mulling over the possibilities in his head.

“I would like nothing better,” he could hear himself saying. “Shall I drive you or shall we walk? How far is it?”

“Nothing too strenuous,” Nora said with a wave of her hand. “And I would think Fritz deserves a night off, don’t you?”

“The old fellow’s been feeling his age lately,” Schultz agreed. “As have I.” Nora smiled at him and shook her head.

“I highly doubt that. You seem as sprightly as ever to me.” Schultz could feel his face heating up, but he elected to ignore it.

“Is there a certain time you would like me to come by?” He asked by way of changing the conversation. Nora glanced at the clock again.

“I believe seven would be the most agreeable to me,” she said. “Does that work for you?”

“Seven it is then,” he said with a smile. He stood then and offered his hand to help her stand. She placed it in his carefully and he dared to give the top of her knuckles a chivalrous kiss. She smiled at him and playfully swatted his chest.

“Flatterer,” she mock-scolded him. “You treat me as if I were a real lady.”

“Who says you’re not?”

``` Seven rolled around much quicker than Schultz anticipated. He brushed down his dark vest and jacket, hoping to look at least somewhat presentable. Again, he found himself having a staring contest with the door, but instead of wallowing in his thoughts for ten minutes, he knocked. Nora came outside in a simple, yet very pretty baby blue gown. He didn’t know what she’d done to make herself look more attractive than she already was, but it certainly worked. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. She seemed to glide as she walked and when she smiled at him, he could barely breathe.

“You’re staring at me,” she chided gently. “Do I look all right?”

“Apologies,” he said as he shook himself out of his reverie. “And you look stunning.” Not that she didn’t already, but there was something different about her now.

“Charming,” she said with a delicate smile and she took his offered arm. “Thank you for the compliment. I would say you look handsome, but we both know you always do.” Schultz thought his face caught fire for a second.

“Er, thank you.” He said somewhat awkwardly as they walked together. The inn wasn’t too far from Nora’s apartment complex. It was just down the road a ways and the evening was cool. When they reached the inn, they chatted briefly about the tension between South and North and the inevitability of war. It wasn’t exactly pleasant dinner conversation, but it needed to be discussed.

“I would be very distraught if you were called away,” Nora informed him as they were seated. “Who else would I talk to?”

“I’m sure there are several people in town you could talk to,” Schultz said. “But the sentiment is appreciated.”

“Would you fight if you were asked to? Even though this isn’t your country?” Nora asked. He frowned, thinking on it.

“To be honest, I don’t really know.” He admitted. “I mean, I did write a few essays back in France and participated in the student rebellion. Granted, that didn’t end well. What I’m getting at is that I have fought both for my country and for others that needed me. Were I to be asked, I think I might. This is my home now, after all. I would do anything to protect it. And you.” He’d added that last part by mistake. It was a Freudian slip that he often got himself into when he was around her. That really needed to be rectified.

“I believe it’s your sense of justice that I find most appealing about you,” Nora said with a smile. “It may get you into trouble a lot of the time, but I find it quite attractive, if I were being honest.” He smiled back at her.

“Your appreciation is appreciated,” he teased a little.

Dinner was a chatty, yet quiet affair as most patrons were tired from a long journey and had gone to sleep. Catching up with the other’s lives was relatively pleasant. Aside from a few close calls, Schultz had managed to keep himself out of trouble. Nora’s students were beginning to learn to read Shakespeare and Nora had suggested that Schultz come to the classroom at some point to read with them.

“I can imagine you’d be quite good at it,” she said to him. “Though I’ve yet to hear a Macbeth with a German accent!”

The two had a quiet argument about who would pay the bill (Schultz won, naturally) before they headed out back to Nora’s home.

“Thank you for coming with me, King.” Nora said to him as they walked slowly together. “It was nice to chat with you again.”

“I quite enjoyed myself as well,” Schultz agreed, smiling at her as they meandered down the walk. “And I’m glad you asked. I probably would have sat on a dinner invitation for another five years had it been up to me to ask.” Nora laughed and he found himself admiring the line of her throat. He cleared his own when they reached her door. “I ought to say ‘auf wiedersehen.’”

“How does one say good night in German?” Nora asked as she turned to face him.

“Gute nacht,” he answered. She tucked her hair back.

“And if I were to say come see me again, what would you say to me?” She asked, looking directly into his eyes. He avoided hers, dropping his gaze to his feet.

“I would say ‘Ich verspreche, ich werde.’” He said quietly. She laid a hand on his cheek, causing his eyes to flick to hers.

“And what does that mean?”

“It means, I promise I will.” He replied, leaning into her touch. She smiled so softly at him, it was dangerously close to causing him to melt.

“And if I were to ask you to kiss me…” she started, and he needed no more further information than that. He kissed her swiftly and briefly before pulling back and looking a bit shocked.

“I, er, I’m sorry…that was…” he was normally such a garrulous gentleman and knew all the right things to say, but when it came to her, every bit of sense seemed to leave him. She continued to smile at him and stood on her toes to kiss him again. He went still at first, but he soon found himself realizing that she’d welcomed this and pressed himself into the kiss as well. His hands came up to cradle her face against his as he kissed her back. When she pulled back only to breathe, he saw stars in her eyes.

“Come and see me again,” she said breathlessly. “Do you promise?” He smiled at her softly and leaned in to kiss her again.

“I promise.”

#warning: long post is so long #Django fic #schultz/oc #I really like writing Schultz okay #he's so adorable and sweet and ahhhhhhh #I was really feeling the Django muse tonight #also tw: slavery mention #christoph waltz

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healthbolt-blog · 6 years ago

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New Post has been published on Health bolt

New Post has been published on http://www.healthbolt.net/cooking/nilus-healthy-cooking/

Nilus Healthy Cooking

Contents

Cook mushrooms healthy healthy ways

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Qualifying offers. presents recipes

Foods – complete overhaul

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96thdayofrage · 7 years ago

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BILL CURRY: Well, I have two somewhat complete different lines of thinking about this. For the first of which, I would somewhat disagree with you. I talk to my progressive friends every day who cite the things you've cited, how many elections we've meddled in. Not just meddled, we've deposed democratically elected leaders in Chile and in Iran to our own great detriment, and all over the world. Arbenz in Guatemala, it's an endless story. We'd be better off if the American people knew more about it. It would be a great collateral benefit of the current situation if we took the time to teach ourselves not only what we did but what came of it all, the ill that came with it. How often it backfired against us, even apart from the takings of human life and the violations of international law that were entailed in these intrusions.

If America learned just the basic principle that people should stay out of each others elections, that would be a great thing. That doesn't stop me from resenting this, nor does it stop me from seeing that this really did matter between Comey and Putin. I think they did elect Trump. I think that the overwhelming likelihood is that those interventions made enough of a difference. It put the American people in the position of thinking that Hillary's election would trigger endless special prosecutors, when in fact it's Trump's that would do that and is doing it. The first problem I think progressives have is the history I just talked about. The second problem is, like I very much do agree with what I assume to be the premise of your question, the Democratic establishment as it still continues to be personified by Hillary herself uses this as an excuse for all the things it did wrong. Hillary comes out and cites Comey, Putin, and misogyny as the reasons she lost. In fact, this election, no Democrat should have been within hailing distance, within stealing distance, of Donald Trump who is a narcissistic psychological wreck, a complete fraud, and by all textbook definitions a fascist.

The Democratic Party has not undertaken this debate within itself. Before the election people said that whoever lost would have a tremendous internal debate over first premises and core values. We lost and we're not having that debate. There's a case where you don't want to scapegoat the Comey/Putin stuff for a loss that you need to take responsibility for. At the same time, I do think that what happened is horrible. I think that action needs to be taken. I don't think that Trump was legitimately elected President. The fact that that happens all over the world and that it's often our fault doesn't alter my thinking about that.

PAUL JAY: Yeah, you can debate whether it made a difference to the actual outcome of the election. I highly doubt it, given that Clinton won the popular vote. It shouldn't just been in a few swing states that it made such a difference. Clearly the Trump campaign targeted these swing states and Clinton didn't target them properly or nearly enough. I also think I don't know of any Democrat that was a defender of the last eight years, a defender of the Obama administration, a defender of the status quo, if that's the primary message, and that was. Hillary's message was, "I'm going to continue the legacy of the Obama campaign, build on its achievements." How do you say that in rust belt states where people are suffering from policies that we know led to, what was it something like 90% or so of, the post '07-'08 crash--rise in income? 90% of that increase in income went to 1% of the population.

We know that the crisis was handled so much in favor of Wall Street, and so on, and so on. Everybody has heard these arguments. You can't go out and win an election based on that in states that are suffering so much. That's far more significant than the Comey thing. I'm not saying it didn't have an effect, but for a whole lot of reasons it certainly wasn't the primary issue. Not the least of which, I think most people in this country don't pay all that much attention to these kinds of things. What I'm saying is there's something more than that, which is the Russia phobia. The idea of trying to have a new Cold War. The constant use of the word when talking about Russia as our adversary.

Why is Russia 'our adversary'? Why isn't Germany our adversary? They just need an adversary. Yeah, they don't like a big country with a fairly big economy, nuclear weapons, that doesn't do what it's told. They don't like that it has a different strategy on Syria, and so on, and so on. To describe it in Cold War terms, and the Democratic Party driving this, that seems not a very constructive strategy. Especially if you want people to understand what's really wrong with the Trump administration.

BILL CURRY: Let me just point out a couple things. Again, I agree with much that you said but, no. The people who are pushing a $54 billion increase in our defense budget right now aren't citing the Russians as their adversary, and consider the threat of terrorism. Our problems are rising out of the Middle East, out of our own actions in the Middle East, I would add are discussed in probably another interview by and large. That's plenty of a dangerous other, a dangerous foreign other for people to gin up all kinds of emotions in the American electorate. I don't think anybody thinks they need the Russians to do that. I do believe that Putin, again, partly because he took our advice, this isn't like the Cold War. It's not a communist state; it's a fascist state.

It's a fascist state because they did what we told them to do. We sent American and British advisors in there during the fall of Gorbachev and the Yeltsin years, and we told them deregulate everything immediately. Privatize everything immediately and cut your social contract down to barebones austerity. That will promote growth and social progress. What it promoted instead was the development of the largest mafia the world has ever seen, the most extraordinary criminal cartel that has ever risen. That criminal cartel is a part of the governing coalition of the country. It's why Russian banknotes can't be taken in regular commerce in other countries. They've corrupted this country to the core. We should have a lot of problems with Russia. We should have a lot of problems with Russia. They're not of the traditional kind that you're describing and we should be approaching them in a different way.

To me, I'm not concerned about Democrats saying that Russia has interfered with this election and ought to be held in account. I'm worried about two things. One, what they don't say about the bigger reasons that they lost. I agree with you four square on that. There were things the Democratic Party did that Clinton did, that it's been doing for years, that cost it far more votes. The second thing on the national security front is that it would be nice to have some Democrat say what Ronald Reagan said in the last speech of his life, which is that you have to have multilateral decision making. You have to strengthen the United Nations. You can't be going around the world with all your six guns blazing forever with this ceaseless strategy of unilateral military interventionism, that our safety really resides in the rule of law rather than the force of arms.

The fact that we can't get anyone to question, to point out one of the many lessons of the last decade and a half in the Middle East is that these standing armies are of no use against any kind of enemy at this point. We're funding dinosaurs at the expense of people in America right now. That's a tragedy. There are other ways to approach this, but in the end I have to say when the smoke clears I'm still upset about this election. I still think in an election that close an intervention that big probably did make a difference. In any case, I want whoever did it to be caught and punished.

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battleofthebits · 8 years ago

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Won’t You Get Me Bodied

Check, Please! and Yuri!!! on Ice crossover fic. 4.2 K, minor Jack/Bitty and Victor/Yuuri. I promise there’s YoI characters despite the opening scene being 100% Check Please. Read it on Ao3 here.

“Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh, my god.”

Jack stopped in the doorway and went through his mental tally of Reasons Bittle Is Having A Minor Breakdown. Bitty was hunched over his laptop, staring at it with awed disbelief, but — as Jack checked every month — there were no upcoming concerts or awards shows of the kind that usually merited this sort of a response. Bitty used his phone for email, so he couldn’t have gotten an offer to collab with anyone, and nobody had molested any of his pies recently.

That left only one tactic: direct questioning. “Is something wrong, Bits?” Jack asked, fully aware that if something important was going on, he would trigger another meltdown like the fiasco back in 2013.

“Wrong? Are you crazy?” Bittle said, catapulting up from the bed and shoving his laptop in Jack’s face.

The laptop, as far as Jack could tell, was showing nothing more important than some bird-boned ice dancers. “Uh?” Jack managed.

“Jack, Four Continents is in Boston this year!” Bitty said, in the exact same tone that he used when Beyonce did… well, anything… and the Great Phelps-Bittle Jam Feud was settled in Suzanne’s favor. Jack might have no idea what Four Continents was, or why it was so important to Bittle, but by God, he was going to learn.

“Sounds like it’s pretty important to you,” Jack said. Active listening; Lardo would be proud.

“It is, yeah. Do you know anybody who could get us tickets? I don’t wanna ask for much, but it used to be my dream to compete there, and it’s so close…”

“Yeah, definitely,” Jack said. “One of Dad’s friends’ wives is pretty pally with the ISU, and she should be able to hook us up.”

“And this friend’s wife wouldn’t happen to be an international figure skating champ you’ve never told me you know, would she?”

“A figure skating champion who can get you the tickets you want, Bits,” Jack said. “Maybe even rinkside.”

@omgcheckplease

OH MY GOD

8:23 PM · Jan 14, 2016

@omgcheckplease

SWEET MOTHER MARY FOUR CONTINENTS IS RIGHT NEXT DOOR

8:24 PM · Jan 14, 2016

@omgcheckplease

AND GUESS WHOSE AMAZING BOYFRIEND HAS TIX

8:47 PM · Jan 14, 2016

@omgcheckplease

I know, I have a French exam that Monday but WHATEVER I can do my homework in the Uber

8:47 PM · Jan 14, 2016

@omgcheckplease

And congrats to @leodelhielo on making it in! Us Southern boys gotta stick together!

8:49 PM · Jan 14, 2016

Leo made a habit of keeping up with his old competitors. Some people just faded out of the sport and didn’t do anything of note, but others went to college or pursued interesting careers. He figured it was a good way to get a look at his options post-figure skating, and besides, some of those guys had been cool. It was nice to keep in touch, or at least stalk their social media. He hadn’t been expecting a nostalgia follow to @ him, though.

He remembered following this account. He’d been Googling a list of boys who’d made it to regionals, and found not only a college and major but a Twitter, attached to one Eric Bittle. Leo dimly remembered him: won Southern Junior Regionals 2010, peppy as anything. The guy had brought tiny pies to the party afterwards, pissed off at least three skaters’ nutritionists, and then vanished from the sport despite what every announcer had said was astounding potential. And had apparently ended up in Boston, attached to a hockey team.

It couldn’t hurt to acknowledge an old acquaintance, and Leo didn’t have anybody managing his social media anyway. He dashed off a quick tweet.

@leodelhielo

@omgcheckplease thanks! we should totally catch up sometime.

9:17 PM · Jan 14, 2016

@omgcheckplease

Sweet! @leodelhielo I was actually planning a party that weekend, so…

9:21 PM · Jan 14, 2016

Jack heard a piercing screech from the kitchen and ran in to check that Bitty hadn’t gotten hurt and another surprise album hadn’t dropped. “What’s going on, bud?”

“Leo de la Iglesia just @-ed me. Leo de la Iglesia is in my DMs. Leo de la Iglesia thinks it would be totally swawesome to come to the Haus after Four Continents and bring his skater friends.” Bitty looked up from his phone with reverence in his eyes. “Jack. He used the word ‘swawesome.’”

“Sounds cool,” Jack offered.

“It is so not cool, Mister Zimmermann. I have to make plans! I have to figure out who all is coming, email their nutritionists so I can set up an appropriate menu, do a deep-clean of the Haus — what if one of them gets a virus from the couch? — and let the boys know to give them their privacy. There’s so much work to do, oh my god.”

“And you’ll love every minute of it.”

Agreeing to bring Leo’s friends to a college town forty minutes from the rink right after Four Continents was far more difficult than firing off a promise to do so. Seung-Gil hated loud noises, alcohol, and fun, so he was right out. Guang-hong might be down, but would be just about impossible to sneak into a frat party when he looked twelve on a good day. Otabek… was Otabek. Leo was planning on asking JJ, because Leo was a nice person, dammit, but that invite might make the night sound more boring than JJ would ever stand for. Phichit would be much easier to lure in with the promise of a genuine American frat party. And if Leo played his cards right, and was very, very lucky, through persuading Phichit he might get to Yuuri.

Leo had seen rather too much of Yuuri with drunks, but he’d never actually seen Yuuri get hammered, and there were all kinds of rumors. Yuuri had reportedly barely touched the champagne at the GPF banquet this year, claiming he wanted to actually remember this night, thanks, which as far as Leo was concerned might as well be an invitation to get him blackout drunk. All he had to do was handle the situation with care.

hey, you doing anything after Four Continents?

Phichit

not yet

you got any ideas?

yeah, this guy I know from juniors lives in a frat house and makes amazing pie

he invited us all to dinner and a frat party

You in?

Phichit

you bet ur ass I am

sweet, can you bring yuuri with you?

Phichit

uhhhhh

maybe

think about it

this is a chance to get him totally wasted

see if the rumors are true

*and* get photographic evidence

all for the cost of an Uber to Samwell

Phichit

well when you put it like that

I’ll see what I can do

Yuuri had no idea why he was here. Getting his first real gold of the year had felt pretty nice, but after the win all he’d wanted to do was cuddle with his fiancé. Instead, Hurricane Phichit had burst into his room, said only, “Yuuri! We’re headed out in ten minutes! Grab your best party outfit!” and dragged him into an Uber while Victor was distracted by a crowd of fans. Apparently there was some kind of party, somewhere, and Phichit’s radar for a good, Yuuri-embarrassing time was just as strong as it had been in Detroit.

“Don’t you have a leg injury?” Yuuri asked.

“A of all, this sprain has been healing for a week; second of B, I just won bronze with it; and thirdly, you don’t need your legs when you’re doing a kegstand,” Phichit grinned.

Yuuri was doomed.

The house was… well. Yuuri would have liked to say it was nice enough, but that would have been a lie against God and architecture. It looked, frankly, like a crack den. With very spiffy curtains. “You’re sure this is the place?”

“Yeah, number 151.” Phichit carefully did not hobble up to the door.

A tall guy with a bemused look on his face was sitting on a chair on the roof above the porch. “Bitty!” he yelled into the house. “There’s more short guys showing up! Did you invite a gymnastics team over?”

A blond a little taller than Phichit opened the door in oven mitts. “Hi there,” he said, “ignore Tango, he’s, uh, special. Everyone else is ready to eat, unless JJ shows up out of the blue, and I’ve been instructed not to tweet about this party until Uber rush pricing starts, so that’s not very likely.”

“Uh, thanks?” Yuuri said.

“No problem! We’ve had some problems in the past with big personalities ruining the ambience, and I wouldn’t want that to happen tonight. Now, I’ve stuck to healthier food than I normally would, so you don’t have to worry too much about portion control. After dinner, we’re going to be pre-gaming and setting up for about an hour, and then the full-on kegster starts. No judgement if either of you want to leave before then. Any questions?”

“You’re Eric, right?” Phichit asked. “The guy Leo knew from Juniors?”

“Oh, where are my manners?” said Eric. “Yeah, that’s my name, but you can call me Bitty; everyone does around here. Pleased to meet you two!”

Bitty led them inside to a veritable buffet line and half of the men’s singles competitors, along with a decent number of jocks and, inexplicably, a tiny Southeast Asian girl. He introduced Phichit and Yuuri to his teammates, but the names were indistinguishable: everyone was called something random like Birker or Dexy.

“I know,” said a tall Black guy with killer cheekbones, “we’ve all got weird nicknames. It’s all a long and storied hockey tradition, like weird pre-game superstitions or everyone hating the Flyers.” And then he and a loud, blond, giant white guy launched a full-on Powerpoint presentation about the history of hockey names and how to make your own.

“So my hockey name would be what, Chiter?” Phichit asked, when he thought he had the hang of it.

Some dude with a mustache stared into his soul for a second and said,“Bruh, no. Cheetah.”

“Yeah, figure skaters are speedy little fuckers, right?” Loud Guy said around a mouthful of chicken breast. “Bitty beats everyone in suicides. Now, the rest of you guys gotta make your own nicknames, Shitty’s genius won’t stick around. Do your names sound like anything cool in your own language? Animals or weapons or something?”

“Oh my god,” Phichit said. “Yuuri. Katsudon. Plisetsky was right about you all along!” Yuuri was flailing and making the usual panicky noises that indicated Phichit was onto something.

“That’s not really—” Yuuri started to say, but Phichit interrupted him.

“Katsudon and Cheetah,” he mused. “Cheetah and Katsudon.” It was only natural at that point to force Yuuri into a selfie, captioned, “Me and katsukiyuuri at an #Epikegster pregame! #cheetah #katsudon #nameamoreepicduo #illwait #hockeynicknames #makeyourown!”

After the last bite of souffle had been eaten — “don’t worry,” Eric had said, “they’re actually pretty low in sugar and you get a ton of protein!” ― and the dishes had been heaped in the sink to ignore, the older jocks and the tiny girl went out to grab beer and… well, nobody was sure what Tiny Girl was up to, but it had something to do with pregaming.

“Okay,” Loud Guy said, after Tiny Girl returned with a projector from somewhere and the skaters had been assembled on a revoltingly filthy green couch. “In honor of Cheetah, here, who says he’s seen every figure skating movie ever made but never fucking got to Blades of Glory—”

“Like you’ve ever seen Shall We Skate?” Phichit fired back.

“Dude,” said Cheekbones, “that movie’s in Thai and Holtzy can barely manage English.”

“What, and subtitles aren’t a thing in America?”

“We are doing a very special pregame today,” Mustache said, barrelling over the incipient movie argument. “The Blades of Glory drinking game: drink every time Chazz and Jimmy get in a fight, every time Chazz mentions his sex addiction, and every time figure skating just doesn’t work like that. Two drinks for every outdated cringey gay joke, and finish your drink every time the parents’ death gets mentioned. If we notice any slow-sipping, you’ll have to finish your drink on the spot. Ready?”

“How many lines am I gonna be able to quote out of context and embarrass Yuuri?” Phichit asked.

“He’s skating with another dude in exhibitions, right? Started in Detroit?” Loud Guy said.

“Yup.”

“Oh, around half the movie.”

And Loud Guy was right. Phichit ended up elbowing Yuuri when the announcers talked about Chazz’ upbringing in Detroit’s sewer skating scene, groaning at the hideous excuses for choreography, and whispering, “Look, it’s you and Yurio! He’s even got the haircut!” every time Jimmy and Chazz laid into each other. By the time the Iron Lotus subplot came up, he was buzzed enough to genuinely consider the physics of a bullshit movie-magic pairs skating move.

“I don’t think they would actually have been able to cut her head off,” Phichit said to nobody in particular. “Cut her throat, yeah, but there’s not enough momentum to cut through the spine. What do you think, Yuuri?” he asked, and turned to his friend, who was looking a little green.

“I think I’m gonna help the jocks set up,” Yuuri said, and fled the room.

Different strokes for different folks, Phichit figured, and took another drink— Chazz and Jimmy were fighting again.

It didn’t take long after that for the kegster to start in earnest. Students filed into the house, Loud Guy and Cheekbones brought in a keg, and before Phichit knew it, D.R.A.M. was blaring at full volume. But as Phichit got his ass kicked at flip cup, he couldn’t help but wonder where Yuuri had gone off to.

It wasn’t that Yuuri was having a bad night. Everyone was incredibly friendly and it barely mattered that he couldn’t socialize when the entire point of the night was getting hammered in creative ways. He didn’t so much greet people as slide between different drinking games. But an hour or so later and five drinks in, he was beginning to question the contents of whatever “tub juice” was.

He shambled towards the kitchen — which was blocked off with CAUTION tape and a sign reading “absolutely NO puking on appliances- ERB” — and found that somebody else had had the same idea. Somebody else looked a little like a much taller and ripped JJ, and was sitting at the table contemplating a can of root beer. Yuuri took a sip of the tub juice and tried to look as if he were neither drunk off his ass nor interested in conversation.

A few moments passed in mutually-appreciated silence.

“It’s a lot sometimes, isn’t it?” Root Beer Guy said, finally. “All the people and the socializing, and the compulsory drinking.”

“It’s not like I mind all that much,” Yuuri said. “The drinking helps with the people.”

“You’re one of the figure skaters Bittle invited, right? Katsuki?”

“The captains told me I’m supposed to call myself Katsudon now, but yeah.”

“They would. Well, I heard from Bittle that one of the reasons your friends wanted you to come tonight is to get you black-out wasted. Apparently they want to take pictures, maybe put a video on Youtube. You weren’t in on this, I’m guessing?”

“Oh God no.”

Root Beer Guy sighed. “That’s what I thought. Well, Shits is always going on about how the Haus is supposed to be a safer space, and we have to be part of consent culture and everything. I guess part of that is not forcing booze down people’s throats. Anyone tries to get you to drink when you aren’t feeling it, I’ll be here with my root beer.”

“Thanks, I guess? But I’m pretty awful at interacting without getting drunk.”

“Fair. One thing, though. You might wanna lay off the tub juice, that stuff’s basically Hi-C and Everclear.”

Yuuri squinted at his cup’s contents. “Really? I’m on my third cup and it doesn’t seem like it’s doing anything.”

“If tub juice doesn’t get you drunk, nothing will,” said Root Beer Guy. “Just keep it in mind, eh? I’d be a shitty ex-captain if I let guests get forced into situations they weren’t comfortable with.”

“I guess I will,” Yuuri said, and made his way out of the room. If tub juice wasn’t working for him, maybe beer would.

Phichit was having the time of his life. The music was pounding, his friends were dancing, and two gorgeous hockey players were helping him out of a kegstand. “Alright,” said Cheekbones, “pong table’s open! You got a partner?”

“Sure,” Phichit said. “Anybody know where Yuuri is?”

“Cute Japanese kid? Just came out of the kitchen with Jack,” Tiny Girl said from the table. “You sure you want to go with him? He looks pretty sloshed.”

“Dude, Yuuri is the best pong partner. He’s, like, a Hoover for booze and he never loses his coordination. He’s a freak of nature or something.”

“Your funeral,” said Tiny Girl. “Now, Haus rules are as follows. No smacking the ball away if it bounces, blowing and fingering are forbidden, and shots before the last cup are mandatory. Got it?”

“Yeah, but are we playing singles or doubles?” Phichit asked.

“Two of you, one of me,” Tiny Girl grinned. “If I can handle Kent Parson and half the Falconers, I can take a couple figure skaters.”

Yuuri wandered over, finished his cup of tub juice, and the game began. In short order, Tiny Girl had changed her tune.

“Aight, that’s a bounce off the ceiling, you drink four cups,” she said, and then, “The fuck, Katsuki? You’re allowed to alternate those, you’ve already been drinking half of Cheetah’s.”

“I’m fine, thanks,” Yuuri said, and chugged all of them. “Phichit’s got the alcohol tolerance of one of his hamsters, we’ve been playing pong like this for years. We end up equally wasted, so it’s not like I’m cheating.”

The game went on like that for a while, Yuuri and Tiny Girl landing all their shots, to the point where Phichit ducked out in favor of filming the legend unfolding in front of him. Finally, Tiny Girl and Yuuri had one cup left each. It was Yuuri’s turn. Somehow he managed to down the shot and bounce the ball into Tiny Girl's cup at the very edge of the table, and the room exploded.

“Holy shit!” Loud Guy said, “somebody just fucking beat Lardo at pong.”

“Barely,” Yuuri said, somehow managing to be self-defeating and plastered at the same time.

"Are you kidding me?" Mustache chipped in. "I never thought I'd see the goddamn day."

“His aim gets better when he gets drunker,” Phichit said. “I tried to warn you.”

“I’m still the undisputed Haus flip-cup champ,” said Tiny Girl.

“Really? Let’s see about that,” Yuuri said. Drunk Yuuri was finally coming out of his modest megane shell, and Phichit was going to be around to film every second.

“Hey,” Guang-hong asked Phichit around 1 AM, “has anybody seen Leo around?”

“I lost track of him after they started playing “Vivir Mi Vida” and he freaked out,” Phichit said. “How come?”

“Eric’s totally wasted and we need a translator.”

Phichit thought for a second. “From English? We’re using English right now.”

“No,” Guang-hong said, “from Southerner. He’s slurring all his words and allergic to consonants and the last phrase I heard from him was ‘Y’all boutta git sum.’ Leo’s from Houston, he knows that accent.”

“She like music, she from Houuu-ston, like Auntie Yonce,” a familiar voice warbled from Phichit’s seven. He reached out and grabbed Leo from the mass of partiers around them.

“Leo,” Guang-hong said with a valiant attempt at sobriety, “we need you to translate what Bitty’s saying. He’s getting up in Yuuri’s face and I just heard him saying everyone was gonna get something.”

“We don’t need to worry about a fight, Yuuri’s not a fighty drunk,” Phichit added, “but he might cry all over the host and that would just be embarrassing for everyone.”

Leo squinted at Phichit as if his eyes weren’t quite focusing right. “Wouldn’t you want that?” he asked. “You could film it and add it to your Yuuri Blackmail Stash.”

“It’s not a blackmail stash, it’s just a thing friends— look, we don’t have time for this!”

“Aight,” Leo said, “lemme at ‘im and I’ll do my best.”

They elbowed their way over to the circle of onlookers surrounding a slurring Bittle and confused Yuuri, both drunk off their asses. “Aintcha never done no dance-offs b’fore?” Eric said.

“Have you ever been in a dance-off?” Leo translated, enunciating carefully and swaying slightly.

“‘S rumors. Like, tons of ‘em, ‘n’ all of ‘em gotcha winnin’ ‘gainst some miiiiiiighty tough competition,” Eric continued.

“Many rumors claim that you’ve won previous dance-offs against very tough opponents,” said Leo, deadpan.

“An’ I’m thinkin’, how ‘bout it, huh? You an’ me, here ‘n’ now, mano a mano,” Eric concluded.

“And I think we should have a dance-off here and now,” Leo said.

Yuuri blinked. “Thass wha’ he’s sayin’?” he asked. Drunk Yuuri was its own dialect, heavy with slurs and sobbing and the Saga-Ben he never quite scrubbed from his accent. Luckily, Phichit was fluent.

“Yep,” he confirmed. “You down?”

It was a foregone conclusion; between the tub juice and the pong and the kegstands, Yuuri was a good eight drinks in, and eight-drinks Yuuri was a walking bad decision. “Am I down?” Yuuri said, looking like he was about to laugh, or maybe fall over. “Phichit, ‘m a gold medalist, gonna kick ass at Worlds. I think I can take an American who doesn’ even know how t’ breakdance.”

“Famous last words, buddy,” Phichit said, but he stepped back. If this disaster happened, somebody had better preserve it for posterity, and that somebody was going to be him.

“Hey, Cheetah!” Eric hollered, and hurled his phone at Phichit. “Use my phone, I gotta Youtube channel that’s gonna wanna see this.”

The phone was already set to record, so Phichit had nothing to do but stand in a clear spot, press a button, and hold on for the ride.

“Get Me Bodied” blasted through the speakers and Phichit had no adequate words to describe what came next. There was quite a bit of breakdancing on Yuuri’s part— Phichit thought he could recognize that K-kick from the banquet photos— and Eric was shaking his ass like the world was ending and twirling around like a bizarre headbanging ballerina. Between the two of them, Phichit thought they’d used a bit of every kind of dance Phichit knew, and a few he didn’t. As the music ended, Eric came out of a giant spin and… fell? On purpose? He didn’t look hurt, and it had been timed to the music, so probably it was deliberate.

“That’s a death drop, what Bittle ended with. Although I don’t know what you call the spin he did going into it,” said Otabek from behind Phichit’s shoulder, and since when had Otabek even been at this party?

“I’ve been here all night, you just haven’t noticed because I’m not a rowdy drunk like some people,” Otabek said. “I DJ on the side, and there’s always somebody asking for the latest American hits. I figured it would be field research.”

“Okay,” said Yuuri from where he was draped against the banister, “so who won?”

Phichit pressed STOP and the recording cut out. “Everybody who just witnessed that. Maaaybe Eric, by a tiny margin? But most of all, Eric’s twitter followers,” he said, and uploaded the video.

“I’m so gonna regret that tomorrow,” Eric said, accepting a bottle of water from his boyfriend.

“I’m regretting it already,” Yuuri said. As Yuuri was tragically boyfriend-less until Victor tracked them down, Phichit grabbed some water for him.

“But oh my god, Eric, that move you did at the end? You have to teach us!” Guang-hong piped up.

“Yeah,” Phichit chirped, “Yuuri can fall on purpose for once.”

“I really hate you sometimes, Phichit, “ said Yuuri.

“Hate me later, it’s time for a podium selfie!” Phichit said, throwing Eric’s phone back to him.

Eric carefully took a photo with Yuuri, and Phichit wrote the caption for him: “4CC gold medalist katsukiyuuri and the reigning Haus Dance-Off Champion! #Epikegster #danceoffroyalty #yourfavescouldnever” The party wound down after that, and around 2 AM everybody headed back to their hotels after extracting a deal: Eric would teach them how to do a death drop someday if Yuuri helped him land a quad loop.

Bitty woke up in the middle of the night with an enormous headache, aching joints, and several thousand new followers. His phone had apparently alerted him to all of them at once, and didn’t stop buzzing for the five minutes it took Bitty to scroll to the source of the problem. Sure, the dance-off video accounted for his new Twitter followers, but why on earth was his Instagram blowing up?

And then he saw the selfie, and more importantly, the top comment.

“Jack. Jack, if you love me at all, you have to see this.”

“Bits, it’s four in the morning.”

“Look at this. Look at it. Viktor. Nikiforov. Just. Liked. My. Photo. He complimented my selfie prowess, Jack!”

“...Who?”

“I’m divorcing you.”

“We’re not even engaged!”

#omgcheckplease #yuri on ice #eric bittle #phichit chulanot #katsuki yuuri #seriously how do you tag all these characters #I won't even fucking bother #look if you're here for the Yuri On Ice I swear it gets there eventually #Four Continents would never be in Boston but wutever I do what I want

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theliterateape · 6 years ago

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The Diary Entries of Jim Mattis from the Three Days Leading Up to His Resignation

By Peter Kremidas

December 17th, 2018

Dear Diary,

I arrived promptly, 10:58am to the oval office to deliver my report on the situation in Syria to The President. He was yelling at his secretary again. This time it was for getting the wrong flavor of Go-gurt. Luckily, I’d had the foresight to stuff my briefcase with pizza lunchables before leaving for work. I distracted the president with a lunchable, making eye contact with the secretary to let her know it was safe to run. He grabbed the package and sat with it. I took my seat. The president happily sucked down the sauce first before moving on to finishing each ingredient one by one.

“Sir,” I said, “I must advise you, withdrawing our troops would be seen as a betrayal by our allies, and severely weaken the international interests of both ourselves and those same allies.”

“Uh,” the president replied, “Okay. But can you show me a picture of that?”

Confused, I asked him what exactly he wanted a picture of.

“Of, you know, I mean how do you know, without a picture, how can you tell our allies will be upset, you know, if you don’t even have a picture of it?” He stuffed three pizza crusts at once through his puckered lips and bit, flinging half a pizza crust’s worth of crumbs onto the same desk upon which the emancipation proclamation was signed.

The President of The United States pushed them together into a little crumb hill as I spoke. “So, okay,” I replied, “just so we are clear, sir, are you suggesting that I provide you with a photograph of how our allies feel about us—”

“In the future.” he interrupted, his eyes painted with a senile, almost innocent glaze.

“In the future,” I echoed.

“I don’t appreciate the tone, Jim Jim.” I have asked The President so many times to please not call me “Jim Jim”. He pinched some crumbs off the top of his little crumb pile and rubbed them on his gums with his index finger, “but yeth, that ith exthactly what I’m thaying.”

So many thoughts and yet no capacity to speak. My tongue trapped between questions as to where to even fucking begin with that, and which room full of monkeys and typewriters is writing his lines. All the while terrified that an honest answer, to any of them, would be a blast rocket cocaine electric guitar squeal fuck machine straight to madness. Dare I ask? I realize I should say ‘no’, but just hear me out.

The war for control over my speech powers raged. Meanwhile, I made two interrogative grunts.

The president was waving me before I reached any conclusions.

“Jim. I mean ‘Jim Jim’. Jim Jim, I’m a very busy man and it is time for nap time. Do me a favor and come back tomorrow with some actual ideas, you…cuck.”

The president measured my response, “That’s right,” he said, satisfied, “What am I paying you for anyway?” He slammed the door on his way out.

Before bed I checked my fact-a-day calendar. A group of pugs is called a “grumble”.

December 18th, 2018

Dear Diary,

The president enthusiastically greeted me into The Oval Office this morning. “Jim Jim!” he breathed, “have a seat.” He put a book down in front of me, pushing his index finger into the cover, “Have you seen this shit? Man, is this Amelia Bedelia a fuck up or what? It’s just a book. Have you read it? Yeah, that’s just something I do. I read. I was actually born with a reading brain, you know. I can definitely read. A lot of people say to me, they say, let me tell ya, here’s what they say, they tell me that I’m the most impressive person they know, at reading. Have you heard back about suing NBC yet?”

“Mr. President, need I remind you that not your attorney. I am here to advise regarding the situation in Syr—.”

“I gotta say, I’m not a fan of this back talk and insubmarineation, Jim Jim.”

I sought clarity, “Do you mean “insubordination”, sir?”

“There he goes again,” he said, “Well, what do you have for me? Keep talking, I’m just transitioning into criss cross applesauce.”

“Well, Mr. President,” I began, “according to this data we may be leaving potentially tens of thousands of civilians in harms way if we abdicate our responsibilities in the region—”

The president fell out of his chair trying to cross his legs. He laid on the floor, pretending it was purpose. “Wow, carpets are soft.”

“—additionally we would effectively be handing power over the country to Basar Al-Assad.”

The president practically leapt off the floor and upright into his chair. He seemed winded. “You mean the guy from is is? I hate is is. Very bad people. The worst.”

“No, sir,” I learned years ago not to correct the president on his pronunciation of ISIS. “But, to your point, we would be ceding power to them as well.”

“To who?”

“To IS—, uh, to is is. Sir.”

“Uh-huh,” he dug into his desk and started rifling through several tubes of Go-gurt. I noticed they were all banana flavored. He buzzed his secretary, “Denise, how many times do I have to tell you that fake banana never tastes like real banana?”

“Mr. President?”

“I can’t talk right now, Jim Jim. My secretary is being a real Amelia Bedelia right now. That’s a literary reference. Come back tomorrow.”

“Same time, sir?”

But he had already stormed out, ranting about grapes.

Today the calendar says that it takes, on average, 364 licks to get to the center of a tootsie pop. I need to remember that.

December 19th, 2018

Dear Diary,

The president was not in the oval office this morning. After several inquires with the secret service, who seemed indifferent, I eventually found him in the Roosevelt conference room arguing with a 6 year old Girl Scout national essay winner over a game of Connect Four.

“Mr. President,” I interrupted.

He ignored me, “No, Amber, that’s a bullshit move. It doesn’t count if you connect five.”

“Excuse me, Mr. President,” I attempted.

“Who are you? Whatever. Sit down. I’m almost done crushing this loser.”

“You have a loud mouth and a great big pumpkin head,” said the little girl, in fairness.

“...How...dare…” his face was reddening.

“Mr. President!” I interrupted “It’s Jim Mattis, sir. I’m here regarding the meeting we scheduled yesterday.”

“What? Oh. Hey, Jim Jim. Give me the latest on is is.” The President waved a hand and an aid led Amber out by the hand. She turned around and defiantly stuck out her tongue towards the back of The President’s head. I gave her a small nod.

“Mr. President, I must insist that you rethink this strategy. The long term implications could prove—”

He cut me off. “Uh-huh. Jim Jim, let me ask you something. Would pulling out of Syria be helpful to Russia? I’m asking for a friend.”

I explained that it would create a power vacuum in the region that the Russian government would likely fill in, thereby expanding Vladimir Putin’s influence over the middle east, and thus his power to continue to destabilize western governments.

“Wow. Well, okay, Jim Jim. You’ve convinced me. I will remove all our troops from Syria. And I will do it today.”

“Sir,” I snapped back, losing my composure for a moment, “Sir. To be clear, I have repeatedly advised against removing our troops out from the region.”

“I’m not removing them, I’m pulling them out. Duh-doy. Stop being such an Amelia Bedelia.”

I let me head hang down to mask my sigh.

“It’s a literary reference.”

“I am aware, Mr. President,” I surrendered, “Will there be anything else, sir?”

“Would you like to play a round of Connect Three with me?”

Even though I knew his need for companionship was the only pill that could wake up his humanity, I also knew that it would just disappear into a hole that even becoming the most powerful man in the world wasn’t able to fill. I also knew that same said lack is a function of his toxicity. The strongest element of his character, unknown to him, was how suddenly, how severely he repulsed immediately upon inspection closer than a television screen. This blustering, loveless son who grew up to be a loveless father, having only ever known attachment in the context of business and never family. The monkey in Harlow’s experiment that only ever knew the mother made of metal wire. I would pity him if weren’t for the uncomfortable lingering suspicion laying undigested in my gut that he wanted me to feel that way. That it was, in fact, his whole angle.

“...No thank you, sir. I will simply take my leave with your permission,” I said

“Suit yourself. I didn’t want to play with you anyway,” is all he left me with.

According to the calendar, on this day in 1776, Thomas Paine published the first of his “American Crisis” essays. It began, “These are the times that try men’s souls.”

#Peter Kremidas #Trump #Mattis #Politics #politics #Barely non-fiction

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fadingfartconnoisseur · 8 years ago

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For the Love of God, Don’t Sew a Canadian Flag on Your Backpack

There are so many travel urban legends out there. The belief that dressing up and being polite at check-in will get you a free upgrade to business class. The Paris restaurant where the food is so good, you’ll cry, and prices haven’t changed since the 1980s. The mysterious Thai island that no “tourists” know about.

But the biggest myth of all? The crowds of American travelers with Canadian flag patches sewn to their backpacks.

Image: Venture Vancouver

Do these travelers actually exist?

When I brought up the subject of traveling as an American during a Trump presidency, I was shocked at how many of my readers talked about Americans masquerading as Canadians with a Canadian flag patch sewn on their backpacks.

“I’m doing that before I travel next!” several of them claimed.

I have never seen an American with a Canadian flag patch. Ever.

Hell, it’s rare to see any kind of patch sewn on a backpack nowadays.

That said, I’ve heard story after story of these travelers existing. You’ve probably heard them, too. But here’s the thing — these stories almost always seem to be secondhand. A few of them have actually seen them, sure, but most people have only heard of Americans doing this and can’t recall a specific point when they saw it with their own eyes.

Because of this, I seriously doubt that most of these people who claim to have seen Americans pretending to be Canadian have actually seen them.

It’s like saying, “Oh yeah, I heard tons of people saw Mike Pence on Grindr the night of the inauguration.” If you hear it often enough, you start to believe you saw it with your own eyes.

But what hurt me was hearing how many of my American readers were eager to start pretending to be Canadian on the road. I don’t want anyone to do that, and I don’t think it does us any favors.

Traveling Under Obama vs. Traveling Under Bush

Now, granted, most of my long-term international travels have been during the Obama Administration, and generally speaking, President Obama is highly respected around the world.

But I’ve also traveled extensively during the Bush Administration, albeit mostly in Europe. I was in Italy during his reelection in 2004. And he was far less respected around the world.

(Even when I arrived in France in 2001, pre-9/11, as soon as I met my host family, they immediately wanted to talk about Bush. One of the first things the father said to me was “Il est cowboy!“)

When Bush was president, I would constantly field questions about his policies, especially around the war in Iraq.

By contrast, during the Obama years, criticism of America was far rarer. Most of it tended to focus on healthcare and gun violence. Obama was rarely criticized, and if he was, it was usually about drone strikes.

With a new era under Donald Trump, it’s going to be similar to the Bush years.

That’s the reason that lots of Americans want to be undercover Canadians. They want to escape the constant questions. They don’t want to be shamed. I get it, but that’s not the right course of action.

Why Pretending to be a Canadian a Bad Idea

Canada is a fantastic country. Gorgeous landscapes, very friendly people, delicious food, astonishing diversity. Plus, the Canadian dollar is weak and it’s a bargain to visit right now. I haven’t visited Canada in a long time, but I hope to visit at least two different regions this year. In short, if you’re Canadian, you’re very lucky.

That said, as lovely as it is, you shouldn’t lie and say you’re Canadian. Why?

Most people are happy to meet Americans. Because most people are nice, period. If you treat people with kindness, they will very likely treat you with kindness in return. And some countries, like Kosovo, welcome Americans with joyful enthusiasm!

Most people understand that governments do not always represent people. If people were judged based on the worst decisions of their governments, everybody would hate everyone.

Most people understand that Trump is deeply unpopular in America. He entered the presidency with the lowest ratings in 40 years; national and international news coverage has reflected this unpopularity. The 2016 election was a major international story. People understand that it was a contentious and close election, and that many people are not happy with Trump being president.

Canadians are everywhere. Any actual Canadian will see through your act the moment they ask, “Where are you from?” and realize you have no knowledge of Canadian geography or expressions.

Canada is also more prominent on the international stage today. Canadian politics used to rarely make international headlines, but that all changed with the election of Justin Trudeau. Suddenly Canadian political news started going viral, like the reveal of Trudeau’s remarkably diverse Cabinet. Non-Canadians may want to talk about Trudeau and if you don’t even know what party he’s from, you’re not going to look good.

If you lie to people initially, then tell the truth once you trust them, you are going to look like an idiot. They may be hurt; they may roll their eyes. They may say, “What’s the big deal?” Save yourself the grief.

Use This As an Opportunity

But most importantly, owning your Americanness is vital to creating understanding around the world. If you’re against Donald Trump, let people know why. Show people that not everyone in America thinks that Trump is good for America. (And hell, if you’re a Trump fan, do the same thing! Share your point of view.)

It’s good to plan out what you want to say ahead of time. Here’s what I plan to say:

“I didn’t vote for Trump. I campaigned and volunteered for Hillary, for Obama before her, and I’ve been a liberal my whole life. I think Trump’s policies are bad for the country and his election is an embarrassment.

“I run my own business and was only able to do so because of Obamacare. Some of my biggest worries are that Obamacare will be repealed without a replacement, leaving me and 20 million Americans without healthcare; that new Supreme Court justices will overturn Roe v. Wade and women won’t have access to safe and legal abortions; that more black Americans will be murdered by the police; that my friends’ children with autism will lose the right to be educated in public schools; that the threat of climate change will worsen and be ignored; and that Trump’s pettiness and fixation on revenge will anger the wrong leader and get us into another war.

“But my biggest worry is how often Trump and his team lie, even about things that can be disproved instantly, and how his supporters will believe the lies because everything they disagree with is ‘fake news.’ I don’t know how to fight this.

“I’m not the only person who feels this way — 3.7 million people marched against Trump in the US alone. 1 out of every 100 Americans protested — that is insane. There were protests on seven continents. Yes, including Antarctica!

“Personally, I don’t think Trump will make it through four years. I think he going to get overwhelmed and go back to New York, letting Pence do all the work while he retains the title of President. And nobody in Congress will do a thing about it.”

That’s my story. Feel free to use any part of it you’d like — but put your own spin on it.

How to Talk to People

When Bush was president, the question I would get the most while traveling was, “Why? Why would anyone vote for him in the first place? Why would anyone reelect him?!”

Expect to get similar questions with Trump. Here are some talking points if you need them:

Why did Trump win?

Lots of Americans felt like they weren’t being heard in Washington and that their lives weren’t getting better, and the best way to enact change was to elect an outsider. Many of these people were white working class voters in regions like the Rust Belt (Wisconsin-Michigan-Ohio-Pennsylvania) where automation has killed the manufacturing industry and lots of people are unemployed or underemployed. Trump spoke directly to these voters throughout his campaign.

Trump also ran a campaign with racially charged rhetoric. Many people found it refreshing that a candidate made it okay to be “not politically correct” anymore. The KKK endorsed him and celebrated his election.

There are other reasons. Some Republicans will vote for any Republican, no matter how vile. Republicans also tend to have more single-issue voters than Democrats. These voters will always support the anti-choice or pro-gun candidate, both of which Trump was.

Then there were many people who didn’t like Hillary. Many people painted her and Trump as equally bad options. Many supporters of Bernie Sanders thought that he should have been the Democratic candidate and they chose to vote third party or not at all.

And then there was the murkiness of the election — Russia’s interference, as well as FBI Director James Comey releasing damaging but ultimately meaningless information about Clinton shortly before the election.

Believe me, that’s just the tip of the iceberg as to why Trump won. Political scientists will be engrossed in the 2016 election for generations.

But why didn’t people like Obama?

Lots of people are racist. Far more than would admit to it. This is why Obama had to be the perfect candidate with a perfect family. Ta-Nehisi Coates said it best: “To be president, [Obama] had to be scholarly, intelligent, president of the Harvard Law Review, the product of some of our greatest educational institutions, capable of talking to two different worlds…Donald Trump had to be rich and white.”

Racist people want to destroy every one of Obama’s accomplishments. They even love aspects of Obamacare, like allowing people with pre-existing conditions to get health insurance; they just don’t like that Obama created it. As Van Jones said on election night, “This was a whitelash.”

Some people’s health insurance became more expensive when Obamacare went into effect. Obamacare gave 20 million people health insurance and reduced costs for most people, but it wasn’t perfect for everyone, and people whose costs went up were angry.

While much of the country recovered significantly from the 2008 recession when Obama took office, urban areas tended to bounce back more strongly than rural areas and many people in rural areas thought their lives were the same or worse since 2008.

But why didn’t Hillary win if she got nearly 3 million more votes?

The Electoral College awards votes per state based on population, and rural states get slightly more votes. It was originally created to give slave states more votes without letting the slaves vote themselves; it was also created to prevent a demagogue from taking office just in case the people elected a madman (that worked out terrifically). The Electoral College usually lines up with the popular vote, but sometimes it doesn’t. Bush lost the popular vote but won the Electoral College in 2000.

Hillary won by a huge margin in solidly blue states like California, where a win was predetermined; Trump won by a very slim margin in swing states like Michigan, where a win was vital.

The Electoral College is outdated and needs to go. But with a Republican-controlled government, the chances of that happening anytime soon are slim.

The One Exception

The only time that I would recommend lying about being American is if doing so would keep you safe in an otherwise dangerous situation. There may be a time when it’s best to lie low and hide your nationality until you’re in a safer position.

Just remember:

Not wanting to talk about Donald Trump again is not a dangerous situation.

Thinking that someone might make fun of you is not a dangerous situation.

But if you somehow get swept into an anti-American demonstration on the street, yes, that’s when it’s time to lie and say you’re Canadian. But you’re unlikely to fall into a situation like that unless you go looking for it. And it’s best to get yourself the fuck away rather than spend time chatting.

And One Last Caveat…

If anything, Trump has shown us that he will act recklessly at best, vindictively at worst. He’s repeatedly shown a disdain for facts, an obsession with those who have wronged him, and that he cares more about Putin than the majority of Americans who did not vote for him.

So it’s very likely that something bad could happen under a president like this. War. And worse. Things so bad I don’t even want to type them.

If that happens, all bets are off. Save yourselves.

The photos in this post were taken during the Women’s March in New York City, where I was among 400,000 women and allies warning the new administration not to cut off our rights. Thank you to everyone who marched. Remember to be politically active, hold your representatives accountable, and take concentrated actions every week — we’re going to need all the momentum we can get.

Americans, would you ever pretend to be Canadian? Or do you think it’s a bad idea? What’s going to happen over the next four years? Share away!

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allenmendezsr · 4 years ago

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