#divine clerk

[aurelion-solar]

Legends of Runeterra - The Darkin Saga: World Ender Mihira, Aspect of Justice - Divine Clerk - Seraphic Wyvern - Lawkeeper - Winged Messenger

[bueris]

RAH AN INCREDIBLE FIGHT FOR THE MOST PRICELESS OF REWARDS, OUR GLORIOUS FIGHTERS SHALL DUEL SO MAGNIFICENTLY CLOUDS WILL PART AND THE SUN ITSELF SHALL BARE WITNESS AND GAIN INSPIRATION FROM THEM. GODSPEED GLADIATORS 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

‼️ATTENTION‼️

THE FATED BATTLE BETWEEN @merlucide AND @riririnnnn HAS BEGUN.

‼️GATHER ROUND, GATHER CLOSE! TODAY, WITHIN THESE HALLOWED WALLS OF THE GRAND COLISEUM, AN EPIC CLASH UNLIKE ANY OTHER IS ABOUT TO UNFOLD! BEHOLD AS TWO FIERCE WARRIORS, FROM THE FAR REACHES OF OUR VAST EMPIRE, PREPARE TO ENGAGE IN A BATTLE FOR THE WORTHINESS OF @licoririce KISSES ‼️

our commentators are @someprettyname @soleilonthesun and @bueris

our medics on standby are @kurona-theshark and @sharkissm

our betting clerks are @luvingshidou and @hooudie212

‼️LET THE FIGHT BEGIN‼️

“AAAAAAAAHHHHHH”

“AAAAAAAAHHHHHH”

“HAAAH”

“OOASFH”

“HA!”

“HO”

“HAHAHA!”

“GOOOORAGGG”

”OOOFF”

‼️THE BATTLE IS SO FAR A DRAW?!? WHO WILL WIN??‼️

[homunculus-argument]

I think the reason why the super rural places are Like That is because there's just no stuff in there. Just sky and ground, no insulation between people, god and death. Heaven and Hell press against people from both above and below like a divine hydraulic press. Pressing people until they break one way or another, cracking, bending, exploding, whatever way each one does, and you either break and go to a church and start praying for real, or you break and shoot a gas station clerk while on meth.

[dresshistorynerd]

The Morrisian case against fast fashion

Today I discovered that H&M made a William Morris collection some years ago. The heath death of the universe can't come quickly enough. We can stop now. Satire is dead and we killed her.

It's not just the whole concept of H&M using William Morris' designs for their fast fashion which is insanity inducing, but also the critical response it garnered. Like sure, people did realize this is insane and there was a lot of think pieces about it at the time, but I read several of them and they all seem to still miss the point in spectacular way.

The basic premise of these think pieces go along the lines of: "Would William Morris spin in his grave with a speed of light because of the H&M collection of his designs? A difficult question indeed. William Morris was a complicated man. He wanted art to be affordable to everyone. Isn't H&M affordable? That kinda fits. Though probably he would have some concerns about H&M's practices."

On the surface - yes - but like in reality - fuck no. There's no nuance in this particular issue. He talked about many times what he though of the H&Ms of his time, the retailers selling poor quality industrially produced "fashionable" bullshit. We know exactly what he would have thought of H&M. Here's couple of quotes from his 1884 lecture "Art and Socialism", which makes it very clear.

"It would be an instructive day's work for any one of us who is strong enough to walk through two or three of the principal streets of London on a week-day, and take accurate note of everything in the shop windows which is embarrassing or superfluous to the daily life of a serious man. Nay, the most of these things no one, serious or unserious, wants at all; only a foolish habit makes even the lightest-minded of us suppose that he wants them, and to many people even of those who buy them they are obvious encumbrances to real work, thought and pleasure. But I beg you to think of the enormous mass of men who are occupied with this miserable trumpery, from the engineers who have had to make the machines for making them, down to the hapless clerks who sit day-long year after year in the horrible dens wherein the wholesale exchange of them is transacted, and the shopmen, who not daring to call their souls their own, retail them amidst numberless insults which they must not resent, to the idle public which doesn't want them but buys them to be bored by them and sick to death of them."

He is describing the birth of consumerism, which was taking form during his lifetime in the late Victorian Era, which fast fashion is the extreme logical conclusion of, and he fucking hated it. He specifically railed against endless consumerist products, which H&M is the perfect representation of. It was definitely not the art and beauty he believed everyone required and deserved. He makes the distinction often.

"Now if we are to have popular Art, or indeed Art of any kind, we must at once and for all be done with this luxury; it is the supplanter, the changeling of Art; so much so that by those who know of nothing better it has even been taken for Art, the divine solace of human labour, the romance of each day's hard practice of the difficult art of living."

"And here furthermore is at least a little sign whereby to distinguish between a rag of fashion and a work of Art: whereas the toys of fashion when the first gloss is worn off them do become obviously worthless even to the frivolous—a work of Art, be it ever so humble, is long lived; we never tire of it; as long as a scrap hangs together it is valuable and instructive to each new generation. All works of Art in short have the property of becoming venerable amidst decay: and reason good, for from the first there was a soul in them, the thought of man, which will be visible in them so long as the body exists in which they were implanted."

When he thought of popular Art he thought of the craftsmanship of the common people. The art people have made from useful everyday objects with skillful handicrafts. This is what he means by "divine solace of human labour". It's not reverence of Puritanical work ethic, on the contrary, it's the reverence of creation, of the earnest joy people feel when they get to express themselves through their creative pursuits. He certainly didn't believe in work for work's sake, work needed to be worthwhile and enjoyable. He summarized his own position on what labour should be thusly:

"It is right and necessary that all men should have work to do which shall be worth doing, and be of itself pleasant to do; and which should he done under such conditions as would make it neither over-wearisome nor over-anxious."

He urged his middle class audience to reject consumerism (the lecture was for a very much middle class atheist society):

"For I say again that in buying these things: 'Tis the lives of men you buy! Will you from mere folly and thoughtlessness make yourselves partakers of the guilt of those who compel their fellow men to labour uselessly?"

I think it's glaringly obvious H&M and fast fashion in general is what he would consider luxury. Rags of fashion that are just churned out and discarded without thought and produced by compelling people to labour uselessly. It's not popular art that's made by workers and craftsmen, who are able to express themselves through it. There's no agency for the abused workers in H&M's sweatshops, they are not expressing their joy of creation, they are simply labouring uselessly.

Morris didn't shame workers for buying affortable things even if they weren't Art with big A, because that's the problem he despised the whole economic system for, for taking away the popular Art from people, making it inaccessible, and selling back mass produced products with very little practical or aesthetic value. So I don't think he would have problem with people who can only afford fast fashion today. They are the victims of capitalism too, because Art has been taken away from them. But the idea that some of these think pieces had that perhaps the H&M's Morris collection can be good actually if you squint, that H&M has the capacity to bring the art and beauty Morris advocated for for the people, is level of stupidity that's hard to express in words.

Morris didn't believe anything made with exploited labour could be truly beautiful, truly art. In his 1879 lecture "The Art of the People" he put it like this:

"That thing which I understand by real art is the expression by man of his pleasure in labour."

The way I understand this, is that art is communication. Through it we communicate feelings, ideas and thoughts, that is it's purpose. So for that communication to work, for it to be imbued with message, the person making it needs to feel passion and love for it's creation. How can there be love and passion if the hands making the garment belong to a tired exploited worker who has no agency what so ever in their work and can only think about survival to the next day?

Beyond the fundamental exploitativeness of H&M and fast fashion, this collection would still get zero points on aesthetic values from Morris even with his own designs. Because the work itself was such an important part of art for Morris, good design was nothing without good craftsmanship. Good design in his mind was always relative and dependent on it's purpose.

"For everything made by man’s hands has a form, which must be either beautiful or ugly; beautiful if it is in accord with Nature, and helps her; ugly if it is discordant with Nature, and thwarts her; it cannot be indifferent." (The Lesser Arts, 1877)

Here when he says nature, he means the nature of the thing that is made - basically it's purpose and function - and the nature of the materials it's made from. Basically, the design must always be made to bring out the function of the art and the qualities of the material it's made from, not fight against them. This is because he believed handicrafts were uniquely suitable for expressing the love of creation, therefore superior labour, and to really bring out the qualities of the craftsmanship and enjoy the creative process, the design should be suitable for that craft. The other side, which was the joy of using and experiencing art, required the craft to be selected for the suitable purpose. Using poorly functioning furniture for example is not very enjoyable, nor is using clothing that's made from materials that are not suitable for the climactic conditions it's supposed to be used in.

H&M of course utterly fails in this. They use Morris' designs in fully unsuitable ways. They print patterns made for example for wall papers on poor quality fabrics with synthetics dyes they weren't made for. This line from one blog post I came across really got me: "Therefore, without cheapening the artistic value of Morris’ designs, H&M’s collection offers an unparalleled potential for accessibility to them." No. Fuck no. They do in fact cheapen Morris' designs in every single way possible. Literally this is atrocious.

Despite the popular depiction, Morris wasn't in fact against industrial machinery or industrial art even, or at least he wasn't once his views on art and politics matured. He did think technology was useful, but he thought the people should use industrial methods for the benefit of all, not be enslaved by the industrial machine.

"I have spoken of machinery being used freely for releasing people from the more mechanical and repulsive part of necessary labour; and I know that to some cultivated people, people of the artistic turn of mind, machinery is particularly distasteful, and they will be apt to say you will never get your surroundings pleasant so long as you are surrounded by machinery. I don't quite admit that; it is the allowing machines to be our masters and not our servants that so injures the beauty of life nowadays. In other words, it is the token of the terrible crime we have fallen into of using our control of the powers of Nature for the purpose of enslaving people, we care less meantime of how much happiness we rob their lives of." ("How we live and how we might live", 1887)

However, he thought that the designer should approach it the way they approached any craft, by designing for the strengths of the machine work.

"But if you have to design for machine-work, at least let your design show clearly what it is. Make it mechanical with a vengeance, at the same time as simple at possible. Don't try, for instance, to make a printed plate look like a hand-painted one: make it something which no one would try to do if he were painting by hand..." ("Art and the Beauty of the Earth", 1881)

He did use some machinery for fabric and wall paper printing, but he was very intentional about their use. Still his designs weren't made for the type of methods these modern H&M machinery uses and he did for example use natural dyes. Particularly insulting is that some of the H&M clothes are made from viscose, rayon made with viscose method. Viscose method is extremely toxic and is known to cause long term health consequences for the workers and the people in surrounding areas. This has been well proven knowledge for ages. William Morris' wall paper factory in the beginning used the typical method used at the time which involved arsenic, but once he learned this could pose risks for the workers, he changed the method. Many of the new synthetic dyes were toxic at the time, which is the major reason he so favoured natural dyes, known to not cause health issues for workers or pollute the environment.

The question many of these think pieces about the H&M Morris collection posed was, would Morris disapprove and should we care? The first part of that is very easy to answer. Yes. Of course Morris would disapprove. He is currently powering the whole of British Isles with purely the kinetic energy his grave-spinning produces. Should we care though? If you care about Morris' art, if you want to see more of that kind of art in this world, you should care. Morris' art is not about the superficial qualities. Copying his designs and aesthetics and styles, will only lead to hollow imitations, that are exactly what he described the rags of fashion to be; as the shininess of novelty wears off they will reveal themselves to be soulless, useless and utterly empty. This collection is just that. To see more of the kind of art that makes you feel like his art makes you feel, not just something that reminds you of that feeling, you should focus more on the way the art is made and less on the specific aesthetics. If his vision of labour and art was realised, all art produced of course wouldn't be loved by every person, but all of it would be loved by someone, even if that someone was just the maker. And that would be more worthwhile than every single rag of fast fashion.

I will stop William-Morris-posting now and return to my thesis.

The full texts I quoted here:

Art and Socialism The Art of the People The Lesser Arts How We Live and How We Might Live Art and the Beauty of the Earth

[perfectlyoongi]

JEALOUS!JUNGKOOK who watches you closely at every party. Jungkook didn’t even realize he was looking at you — it was something instinctive for him: to admire you, to pay attention to you and any of your actions to see if you needed him; simply having you always there in some way was the most natural thing for Jungkook. that’s why, when he followed you with his eyes, making sure you were having fun, he didn’t realize that he prolonged his attention when someone wanted to be nicer to you; or when someone wanted to take a little risk and try to touch you in some way, Jungkook simply couldn’t look away from you. Jungkook just wanted to make sure you were having fun, but that you weren’t having the time of your life without him. “oh, was i looking? sorry. i was just admiring how all the men here are mere children in adult bodies. just a thought, really”

JEALOUS!JUNGKOOK who made getting to know you a contest. Jungkook knew that, at the end of the day, he was the one who had you. he always saw you talking to everyone. your words came out freely without any problems, revealing fond memories and fantastic stories. in just a few hours, you made yourself known to those who wanted to know you. but none of them knew how you liked your coffee; none of them knew you were still crying over lost friendships; none of them knew how you liked to make your bed; none of them knew you, as you were, in your entirety. none of them except Jungkook. he was the only one who knew you. he was better than everyone. “what do you mean they only found out now that you don’t like elevators? you’ve been afraid of it since you were 5. frankly, they could be more considerate and walk up the stairs with you, but oh well.”

JEALOUS!JUNGKOOK who compares himself to everyone you talk to. you might be accepting a drink from that bank clerk, but Jungkook cooked for you every saturday. you’re laughing at the professor’s joke, but you ended up crying and clutching your stomach from laughing so hard with Jungkook. the engineer could have put his arm around your neck, but it was Jungkook who hugged you from behind when you felt under the weather. you’re telling the story of how your boss mistook you for an intern to the psychologist, but it was Jungkook who heard all your secrets. yes, they could be a lot of things, but none of them were Jungkook. “are you sure the story you just heard was the best you’ve ever heard? don’t you remember how you liked that story i told you so much that you called me at 4 in the morning asking how it ended?”

JEALOUS!JUNGKOOK who had no doubt that you would be happier by his side. no matter how many laughs and conversations you had with everyone else, Jungkook was still special, he knew it. he was the only one capable of turning your tears into melodious laughter, he was the only one capable of bringing you comfort on the coldest nights, he was the only one. yes. Jungkook didn’t need to worry — he was the one who knew you, who made you smile, who made you happy. no one else could make you feel grateful to be alive like Jungkook did. none of these people who wanted your attention knew how divine you were. only Jungkook — the only one capable of making you truly happy. “i know we agreed to marry each other if we’re single by 35, but i’m just suggesting you consider moving that date forward. that’s all.”

JEALOUS!JUNGKOOK who just wanted to make you smile like others did. yes, Jungkook was himself, and he was a lot to you, but he couldn’t make you smile like that. you had shining eyes, your skin was glowing, and your smile, as if drawn by the happiest artist, sculpted by the luckiest god, painted by the brightest star — your smile was everything. and Jungkook had never been able to put a smile like that on your face, a smile capable of stealing the light from the moon and the heat from the sun — pure, heartfelt, yours. “i noticed that you were enjoying the conversation with the group of professors. you looked really pretty smiling.”

JEALOUS!JUNGKOOK who doesn’t want to lose you, but he can’t ask you to stay. you were happy. you were having fun. you were charming the entire audience with your smile. you didn’t belong to Jungkook anymore — you never did. now you were theirs. of all those who admired you and wanted to know you better. and all Jungkook could do was look at you, admire you, see you conquering the entire world without any effort. like he always did. like he always will.

JEALOUS!JUNGKOOK who finally decided to talk to you. “when you were with the others and having fun with them it was as if you held my heart in your hands and squeezed it with your every laugh. i feel like i was never able to make you as happy as you were with them and i realized that that hurts, a lot. what i’m trying to say is that i like you, and that’s why i don’t like seeing you with others.”

[dailyadventureprompts]

Deity: Dispater, Lord of those Below

No Kings Beyond Death

A god of riches and horrors beneath the earth, protector and jailer of the departed souls, grim Dispater rules many realms with a stern hand and an iron will. Often cursed and seldom praised by mortals, it is this god's cosmic lot to keep order in the underworld, where the caverns of the mortal plane intersect with the labyrinths of the underdark and the shadowed halls of the dead.

While his worship overlaps with many other gods of death, few pray to Dispater as his heart is thought to be as cold and unmoving as stone, hardened by the grim work of keeping the domains to which psycopomps and other terminal forces deliver souls, ensuring that they neither have the chance to escape nor that they are picked off by fiends or other malign spirits.

Judges and other arbiters sometimes swear by him, especially when handling matters of life and death, as do miners, bankers, and others who work in precious metals or stones, as Dispater has a connection to caverns and other buried places. His clergy collects tribute in the form of those soft, perishable things that cannot be found below the earth: grain and livestock, flowers and wine. Their sacrifices of these things are said to pass on to the dead themselves, after their lord has taken his due tithe.

Adventure Hooks:

A monstrous bat haunts the countryside, endlessly harrying a graverobber who pilfered from a cemetery consecrated in Dispater's name. The exhausted scoundrel just so happens to have taken refuge in the same country inn as the party, passing himself off as a peddler who was shaken down by bandits. When the bat attacks that night (as he knows it will) he hopes to use the chaos to shift some of his plunder into the heroes' packs, diverting the creature and the divine wrath it represents.

Rumour is, if you find a trail of archaic coins scattered along the road, following it will lead you to one of the mysterious grey merchants, traders from the underworld who deal in memories and mementos cast off by the dead. Woe to anyone who attempts to harry or cheat the merchant though, as they travel under the protection of the lord below.

Shortly after a resurrection of a partymember (that may or may not have gone wrong), the heroes are approached by a dour devil in clerk's garb who insists that they need to follow her into the underworld to help clear up some post-mortality paperwork, or else their friend's soul might be held in litigation for a literal eternity. "Clearing up" in this case involves helping to clear out a field office somewhere in the shadowfell overtaken by the unquiet dead, fending off hostile spirits while the devil and the deceased do a lightninground of signatures on the relevant forms.

Behind the scenes: Hades has fascinated me since I started learning a mythology, and that fascination has only grown as I've traced the idea of him through history and popculture.

Like all the other Greek gods, Hades gets a roman makeover in Pluto; god of earth, the underworld, and wealth. One of his titles "Dis Pater" literally means " Father of Riches", as the earth contains both mineral wealth and the wealth of good harvests.

Because of his association with the underworld Pluto/Dis Pater starts to get adapted into emerging Christian Mythology as the devil, as his realm of of Tartarus (and its punishments reserved for the most wicked) likewise becomes Hell (which exists to torture anyone who sins and doesn't believe).

Fast forward about a millennia and a half and you have the creators of d&d making all the different names for the devil into a rogue's gallery of different fiends. With Dispater's connection to greek mythology completely forgotten he gets sectioned off as the extra schemey member of hell's boyband, at once brilliantly adept at making plans and driven mad with his own paranoia. While this makes him a little more interesting than some of the other devils, it just wasn't enough for me in the end, so a revamp had to ensue.

I wanted to take things full circle and use Dispater's name to bring my own Hades analog into my game's mythology, a god not of death but specifically the underworld, fully drawing on the connotations of both afterlife and underground. Playing with motifs of kingship and a "death and taxes" sort of legalism also makes for unique themes when it comes to the subjectmatter of mortality: Dispater as death is owed tribute by natural and divine law, but that relationship also grants protections to the tributary. Imagine a paladin of Dispater saving someone's life from unlawful execution because they are owed a righteous death.

Thanks as always to @5ecardaday for the monster stats

Artsource

[theidiotwhowritesthings]

IS THERE A VERSION OF JOEL MILLER I WOULDN'T FUCK?

[a case study in how thirsty i am for this man.] [aka fic recommendations]

Unfortunately, in my extensive research on this topic, I have found some pretty damning evidence against my sanity.

dad's best friend!joel miller x fem!reader

Your Summer Dream [masterlist] by @swiftispunk It is a scientific fact that if you place Joel Miller on a beach he becomes 100x hotter. I don't make the rules, I just report them.

Creep it Real! by @swiftispunk I am a puddle. I melted and I'm a shallow pathetic puddle. Cowboy and Angel. I just hnnnnnggggg. I need him to ruin me pls dear god.

*I'm realizing if i include all the DBF!JM i read this will get very long, very quickly, and i think i have revealed enough of myself on this blog to highlight my very obvious daddy issues

**speaking of daddy issues...

stepdad!joel miller x fem!reader

Don't Be Cute, Be Nasty by @cockslutpadalecki i'm pretty sure this was the first stepdad!joel miller anything i read and it awoke something in my soul. it's always fun to reach new levels of my daddy issues and BY GOD was this just 🫠

Bad Girl [part i of many] by @seventeenpins he walks in on her while she's watching stepdaddy porn and good lord it gets filthier and filthier in the best kind of way.

boyfriend's dad!joel miller x fem!reader

Lost in the Dark [masterlist] by @iamasaddie i expected to be a slut reading this but then it made me an emotional slut out of nowhere i am obsessed. there is nothing i love more than being drawn in by my thots only to be hit by an emotional bus out of nowhere.

Thigh's Out AU [masterlist] by @toxicanonymity not only is this a boyfriend's dad AU, but said boyfriend's dad is a hot and slutty. just like i like my dilfs.

father-in-law!joel miller x fem!reader

Pink [masterlist] by @netherfeildren holy fuck. that's all. just holy fuck. this altered my genetic makeup.

Help, I'm Stuck! by @nosesitter spoiler alert: he takes her wedding ring off before dicking her down and I-- 👀 send help.

***i didn't think i had a lot of significant other's father!joel miller in my repertoire, but i had to stop myself again from listing them all on this one otherwise we'd be here all day. shit, i'm learning things about myself 🤡

dark therapist!joel miller x fem!reader

Session 1 by @elvinaa i think this only highlights how badly i need an actual therapist (as does this entire list actually).

sleazy gas station clerk!joel miller x fem!reader

Meet Me in the Back (1) & The Night is Dark Enough ... (2) written by @atticrissfinch It does not bode well for me that this version of Joel Miller made me so fucking feral. In no way, shape, nor form should a sleazy gas station clerk make me feel this way AND YET HERE WE ARE.

tattoo artist!joel miller x fem!reader

Honeyed [masterlist] by @softlyspector This one absolutely hits too close to home for me, but that's probably why I'm so obsessed with it. My touch adverse yet touch starved ass ate this up and left no crumbs😌

chiro!joel miller x fem!reader

Say Yes to Heaven by @pascalisbaby i thought the medical side of my brain would cringe at the doctor/patient dynamic but as it turns out my depravity knows no bounds 🥵

frat dad!joel miller x fem!reader

The Old College Try by @proxima-writes i didn't even know this was something i needed in my life until it came into my life. blessings🙏🏼

ceo!joel miller x fem!reader

Sex on Fire [masterlist] by @macfrog i don't think i need to harp on what that sugar daddy vibes do to me🤤

mafia!joel miller x fem!reader

Divine Dynasty by @cavillscurls Remember when I said putting Joel by a body of water makes him 100x hotter? The same applies to a Mafia AU. I can't explain it. I have no sound reasoning to support my claim other than "he hot tho".

pornstar!joel miller x fem!reader

I Know it When I See it [masterlist] by @bageldaddy 🔥🔥🔥 that is all.

maintenance man!joel miller x fem!reader

Maintenance Man [masterlist] by @gracieispunk toolbelt. say less.

slasher!joel miller x fem!reader

Slasher [masterlist] by @toxicanonymity i thought for sure, FOR SURE, this would be blind, pure, detached smut that i could enjoy with no emotional ties whatsoever. and then all of a sudden i'm feeling things??? he just loves his mom so much😭 mama's boy wants to be happy. JAIL. real jail for murderer joel miller. horny jail for me. and audacity jail for toxic b/c how dare you make me feel things for a serial killer😩

as i said previously, the evidence speaks for itself. i have yet to find a version of joel miller i could not immediately fuck. i'm actually planning (i have a lot of plans and no time smh), to go through all these on my recommendation blog w/play by play commentary so everyone can know just how unhinged i am for this guy.

but now!! you guys have a syllabus for my insanity!!

now, excuse me while i go find a therapist (a real one, not a hot/dark joel miller version of one) (although beggars can't be choosers right?👀)

dividers by @saradika

[hypothetipolls]

Trying to include everything that has been commented!

No. 1

No. 2

No. 3

This is No. 4

No. 5

No. 6

[stuckysbike]

His Prize part 3/3

A/n: All mistakes are my own. Written on my phone.

Bucky x Reader

AU: Bucky takes you on honeymoon.

Warnings: author overindulged in their own travel fantasy, p in v sex, Bucky is a sexy menace, happy ending. This is just sex folks, if you’re under 18 please don’t read!

———

“-and we just decided that we’ve been engaged long enough and want to get married.” Bucky finished.

The office in the courthouse was small but the harassed guy behind the desk recognised Bucky and his grumpy demeanour brightened right up after he explained he’d won the office betting pool after Bucky’s last fight.

“How long have you been engaged?” The clerk behind the desk asked as he noted your names into his system.

“About fourteen hours.”

You bit your lip to keep a giggle inside. The clerks eyes flew over both of you then back to his documents.

“We’ve been friends for years,” you added, concerned he would think you were a gold digger or an obsessed fan. “Been idiots in love just as long.”

Bucky squeezed your fingers and you smiled up at him. He couldn’t resist pecking a kiss to the tip of your nose. His eyes were shining bright and he looked relaxed and carefree. And happy.

Four hours later you were on a plane to Paris. Being your best friend you had always shared your dreams and quirky obsessions with Bucky. He had listened to your crazy ramblings, what’s more he was taking you on the trip of a lifetime. You didn’t think it was possible to love him more but he proved you wrong with his travel plans for the next three weeks.

The cabin lights were dimmed, seats reclined and Bucky was already asleep. You held his hand as you followed him into the land of nod.

—————

“Buck- James,” you breathed.

You felt chocked up, and tears threatened to spill.

“You okay Sugarplum?” Bucky pulled you into his side.

“I can’t,” you squeezed your eyes closed, but when you opened them, the view hadn’t changed.

The train sat idle but boarding. The rich blue carriages were elegant and you could feel the history and magic as you gazed at them as they hummed, awaiting their passengers.

“Welcome to the Orient Express my love,” Bucky sounded smug. You couldn’t even be angry at his cocky attitude all you wanted to do was kiss him. “We’re priority boarding, we’re in the Grand Suite.”

“Bucky,” you chocked out and he hugged you close and kissed your head.

“Come on Sugarplum, let’s get onboard,” he said pulling you along behind him.

The Orient Express was everything you had imagined. Your suite was perfect, compact yet elegant and not cramped. Crisp white linens covered the bed, and a small table complete with comfortable seats was placed a few feet away. The bathroom was neat with everything you needed and just enough room to move.

“Welcome Mr and Mrs Barnes,” your private butler said bowing at the waist. “Anything you need at all, just call.”

“Bucky,” you sighed looking up at him. He pulled you into his chest and dropped his lips to yours. You kissed him back, melting into his strength and sliding your arms around his neck.

“You know,” Bucky said pulling away, “I’m the happiest guy alive right now.”

“Oh yeah?” You asked.

“Got my best girl here in my arms, got a wonderful trip planned, got the world at my fingertips,” Bucky rested his forehead on yours. “I’m so in love with you.”

“Oh Buck, I love you so much.”

Bucky had showered and changed for dinner and had headed off to the bar for a drink whilst you took your time pampering yourself. By the time he returned you were putting the finishing touches to your makeup.

You stood as he entered your suite and he gasped. “Wow,” he murmured. The dress hugged your curves and set off your eyes and the heels lifted you a little closer to his lips. “What a wife.”

You giggled and took his hand, letting him lead you to the dining car. It was as beautiful as the rest of the train with carefully laid tables and soft comfortable seats.

The food was divine, and Bucky spent the entire time flirting with you and being his usual charming self. His eyes barely left you, and his feet were tangled with yours the entire evening. By the time you finished your cheese board and wine you were buzzing comfortably.

As you stepped back into your suite your heart was thumping in your chest. Bucky’s wide hands cupped your waist and he pulled you close, swaying on the spot. You rested your cheek on his chest and sank into him, letting him lead.

Bucky’s chin was resting on your temple, and as he pulled back his breath was warm on your skin. You glanced up at him, suddenly nervous. You had never been nervous with him before, not even your first time, but you were tonight.

“I want to make love to you Sugarplum,” Bucky growled. You could only nod, your voice lost.

His kiss was soft, but he rolled his tongue into your mouth seeking yours. You sighed against him as his hands travelled all over your waist and hips. You undressed each other slowly, and as Bucky got to your lace lingerie and stockings he groaned aloud.

“Fuck baby you look absolutely stunning,” he said as he eyed the plump swell of your breasts and your soft thighs. “I want to taste you.”

As you fell onto the thick duvet you bounced slightly but Bucky was over you, his mouth on your chest. He kissed his way down your body and hooked his fingers into your panties, trailing them over your legs.

“So goddamn wet,” Bucky moaned as he latched his mouth over your mound. He dragged his tongue through your slick folds then fluttered it against your swollen clit. Two thick fingers slid into your cunt and he sucked on your clit. You moaned as his pinky brushed your asshole.

Bucky wrapped his thick arms around your thighs and before you knew it he was on his back and you were hovering over his face. He pulled you down, his tongue pushing through your pussy to circle your clit. You cried out and buried your fingers in his hair.

You couldn’t take your eyes off his, and he didn’t look away, his eyes flicking over your body. You brought one hand to tug at your lace covered nipple, crying out as Bucky sucked harder on you. “I’m going to cum,” you warned him. Bucky doubled his efforts, the tip of his finger pressing into your back hole.

Your orgasm was intense, licking up your spine as you shuddered through it, and Bucky only stopped when you pushed his face away. He moved to kissing your thighs and even that had you jerking and tingling under his mouth.

You slumped to the side and Bucky followed you his mouth covering yours. You could taste yourself as you sucked his tongue, nipping the tip playfully. Bucky moaned and rested his weight on your body as you wrapped your legs around strong hips. You pushed your hands into his black briefs and Bucky rocked against you, his mouth not leaving yours.

“Babydoll, darlin’ please,” Bucky said as he kissed your cheeks. You squeezed his ass and nipped his throat as Bucky lined himself up. He pushed into you, his thick cock splitting you open.

“Oh,” You turned to find his lips. “Oh Bucky,” you threaded your fingers through his hair.

“Mrs Barnes,” he murmured, his lips curving into a smile. “My beautiful wife.” He used his thick arms to cage you in, them resting on either side of your head and you preened under his possessiveness.

You rocked together, his hips snapping into yours, a wide hand squeezing at your soft tits. He slipped his other hand behind you to remove your bra and soon his mouth was covering your nipple, teeth grazing the hard bud as you arched into his mouth.

You were startled when he moved suddenly, rolling into his back. Warm hands helped steady you and his thumbs grazed the tops of your stockings. “Ride me Mrs Barnes.”

You couldn’t help the smile on your face as you leaned in to kiss him, and then you sat up. Bucky tried to reach for your tits but you pushed his hands away.

“I’m going to give you a little show Mr Barnes,” you smirked. His lust filled eyes gave you confidence and you plucked at your nipples and squeezed your tits. The train rhythm helped you to rock on Bucky’s cock, and you matched the steady pace.

“Fuck Love, look at you, babydoll,” Bucky babbled. “Such a filthy wife I have.”

“You do have a filthy wife,” you promised him quirking an eyebrow and giving him your most salacious smirk. You slipped a hand behind you and let your fingertips graze his sensitive balls. Bucky cried out and bucked into you.

“You’re killing me darlin’,” Bucky huffed as you changed tactics, rolling your hips in figure eight shapes. You could feel your pleasure buzzing low in your tummy. You laced your fingers with Bucky’s and pushed his hands above his head. Your breasts were swaying in his face and his mouth was slack as he took you in. “I love you so much.”

You dropped close to kiss him and you felt that burn in your groin as your clit bumped his hard pubic bone. You came like that and Bucky wrapped his arms around you guiding you through it.

He flipped you, hooking a leg over his arm and a few pumps of his hips had him spilling inside you. The sensation triggered a further orgasm and you trembled underneath him.

“Sugarplum, baby I love you so much, I’m such an idiot,” he murmured.

“Shush,” you pushed at his shoulder. He rolled back taking you with him and then you eased yourself off him. “Wanna’ taste us Buck,” you said as you slithered down his body to clean his cock off.

Bucky watched you with wide eyes and you didn’t miss his cock twitching in your fingers. You giggled and pressed a kiss to his shaft.

“Come’ere darlin’, come kiss me,” Bucky said pulling you to him. You slid hands underneath his head and kissed his slow and deep, both of you moaning at the sensation.

Later, as you traced patterns on Bucky’s chest you felt more security in his arms than ever before. You fell asleep easily with the man you loved, with the man who loved you and dedicated his life to you.

[bits-and-babs]

☁️ - #20 with Javier Peña

“𝐈’𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞.”

pairing: Javier Peña x f!Reader

warnings: jealous Javier, mentions of alcohol, exhibitionism, p in v sex, angst if you squint

javi masterlist I| main masterlist |I follower celebration I| ask |I

The whiskey Javi had been sipping on all evening spills over the desk and wets the sheets branded with his ink. He shoves the sodden paper aside, pushing you over the table with a growl of your name.

“‘m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever even met that asshole.”

The amber liquid melts into the crisp fabric of your white linen shirt, bleeding through the fibres and rendering it opaque. It cools your skin, burning hot, thanks to Javi’s aggressive affections.

You hadn’t meant to mention him, your ex. It just slipped out with the tear that streamed from your eyes — you’d quickly wiped it with the back of your sleeve, but he saw. Your colleague saw, and he was going to make sure you didn’t mention him again.

Your fitted trousers are discarded somewhere in the office, pooled on the floor where anyone could waltz in and see them. But they’d see you first, bent over Javier Peña’s desk with him pushing your panties to the side and pulling his cock from his impossibly tight jeans.

Javi kicks your feet apart with the side of his shoe, his chest leaning over your back and pressing into it as he wraps his arm around your waist. He pulls you onto his length, groaning out something incoherent as you whine at the stretch. It stings like whisky itself. It burns but eases at the same time and tastes divine.

“Fuck,” Javier huffs beside your ear, hooking his hand at the junction of your neck and shoulder. He uses that grip and pulls your body backwards to meet the blinding pace he sets the moment you’re comfortable with the intrusion.

It’s loud. It’s messy. The secretaries in the building no doubt hear this every night, have been the girl that Javier makes scream so that the whole office knows why the hookers he works with divulge their information. You don’t mind- he keeps his promise. You don’t remember your ex, and you don’t remember the office clerks; hell, you don’t remember your own name.

He reminds you of it with a heavy breath when he cums.

[alicearmageddon]

"The North Korean regime in the ‘50s developed a series of remarkably effective torture techniques, techniques that were so effective, in fact, that they were able to make captured American airmen admit to all sorts of atrocities they had not in fact committed, all the time, being convinced they had not, actually, been tortured. The techniques were quite simple. Just make the victim do something mildly uncomfortable—sit on the edge of chair, for example, or lean against a wall in a slightly awkward position—only, make them do it for an extremely long period of time. After eight hours the victim would be willing to do virtually anything to make it stop. But try going to the International Court of Justice at The Hague and tell them you’ve been made to sit on the edge of a chair all day. Even the victims were unwilling to describe their captors as torturers. When the CIA learned about these techniques—according to Korean friends of mine, they’re actually just particularly sadistic versions of classic Korean ways of punishing small children—they were intrigued, and, apparently, conducted extensive research on how they could be adopted for their own detention centers.

Again, sometimes, in Palestine, one feels one is in an entire country that’s being treated this way. Obviously, there is also outright torture, people who are actually being shot, beaten, tortured, or violently abused. But I’m speaking here even of the ones that aren’t. For most, it’s as if the very texture of everyday life has been designed to be intolerable—only, in a way that you can never quite say is exactly a human rights violation. There’s never enough water. Showering requires almost military discipline. You can’t get a permit. You’re always standing in line. If something breaks it’s impossible to get permission to fix it. Or else you can’t get spare parts. There are four different bodies of law that might apply to any legal situation (Ottoman, British, Jordanian, Israeli), it’s anyone’s guess which court will say what applies where, or what document is required, or acceptable. Most rules are not even supposed to make sense. It can take eight hours to drive 20 kilometers to see your girlfriend, and doing so will almost certainly mean having machine guns waved in your faces and being shouted at in a language you half understand by people who think you’re subhuman. So you do most of your dalliance by phone. When you can afford the minutes. There are endless traffic jams before and after checkpoints and drivers bicker and curse and try not to take it out on one another. Everyone lives no more than 12 or 15 miles from the Mediterranean but even on the hottest day, it’s absolutely impossible to get to the beach. Unless you climb the wall, there are places you can do that; but then you can expect to be hunted every moment by security patrols. Of course teenagers do it anyway. But it means swimming is always accompanied by the fear of being shot. If you’re a trader, or a laborer, or a driver, or a tobacco farmer, or clerk, the very process of subsistence is continual stream of minor humiliations. Your tomatoes are held and left two days to rot while someone grins at you. You have to beg to get your child out of detention. And if you do go to beseech the guards, those same guards might arbitrarily decide to hold you to pressure him to confess to rock-throwing, and suddenly you are in a concrete cell without cigarettes. Your toilet backs up. And you realize: you’re going to have to live like this forever. There is no “political process.” It will never end. Barring some kind of divine intervention, you can expect to be facing exactly this sort of terror and absurdity for the rest of your natural life."

-David Graeber, Reflections from a Visit to the West Bank

[the-garbanzo-annex-jr]

by Jessica Costescu

A Harvard University law student who was charged with two misdemeanors after accosting an Israeli classmate last October has now landed a job in Washington, D.C.'s public defender's office.

The student, identified in a Washington Free Beacon report as Harvard Law Review editor Ibrahim Bharmal, has landed an immigration law clerkship with the Public Defender Service for the District of Columbia, according to a LinkedIn post. Bharmal and divinity school graduate student Elom Tettey-Tamaklo were each charged with two misdemeanors on May 19 stemming from their conduct at an Oct. 18 "die-in" protest held outside Harvard Business School. Bharmal and Tettey-Tamaklo were captured on camera accosting a first-year Israeli business school student, surrounding the student and making it difficult for him to walk freely, as keffiyeh-clad onlookers shouted, "SHAME!"

Bharmal was charged with misdemeanor assault and battery and with violations of the Massachusetts Civil Rights Act, which prohibits attempts to "intimidate or interfere with … any other person in the free exercise or enjoyment of any right or privilege secured to him [or her] by the constitution." Bharmal is expected back in court in September for his arraignment and faces up to 100 days in jail for each count, court filings reviewed by the Free Beacon show.

There is no indication that Harvard has taken any disciplinary action against Bharmal. When asked if his pending charges and a possible conviction would impact his graduation—scheduled for next year��Harvard told the Free Beacon that it does "not comment on individual considerations related to discipline or student status."

Since the incident, Bharmal has remained in good standing with the school. In fact, Bharmal avoided discipline altogether, according to a January legal complaint. He is pursuing a joint degree program at the Ivy League university, namely a law degree and a master's in public policy, and still lists being an editor for the Harvard Law Review on his LinkedIn. Tettey-Tamaklo—the other student involved—was removed from his role as a freshman proctor in November, but otherwise, the school did "nothing to sanction" him, the complaint said.

Bharmal did not respond to a request for comment.

Meanwhile, on Tuesday, the D.C. public defender's office shared a post about Bharmal on LinkedIn, detailing his experience as a law clerk and thanking him for his "commitment to our clients." Bharmal says in the post that, after graduating Harvard, he would like to support "immigrants, asylum-seekers, and other newly arriving neighbors." The post also revealed a "fun fact" about Bharmal: "He is currently training to be a bollywood spin instructor...class sign-ups incoming."

The office did not respond to a request for comment on whether it was aware of Bharmal's ongoing legal proceedings.

[witchofanguish]

“And don’t tell me God works in mysterious ways,” Yossarian continued, hurtling on over her objection. “There’s nothing so mysterious about it. He’s not working at all. He’s playing. Or else He’s forgotten all about us. That’s the kind of God you people talk about–a country bumpkin, a clumsy, bungling, brainless, conceited, uncouth hayseed. Good God, how much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements? Why in the world did He ever create pain?” “Pain?” Lieutenant Scheisskopf’s wife pounced upon the word victoriously. “Pain is a useful symptom. Pain is a warning to us of bodily dangers.” “And who created the dangers?” Yossarian demanded. He laughed caustically. “Oh, He was really being charitable to us when He gave us pain! Why couldn’t He have used a doorbell instead to notify us, or one of His celestial choirs? Or a system of blue-and-red neon tubes right in the middle of each person’s forehead. Any jukebox manufacturer worth his salt could have done that. Why couldn’t He?” “People would certainly look silly walking around with red neon tubes in the middle of their foreheads.” “They certainly look beautiful now writhing in agony or stupefied with morphine, don’t they? What a colossal, immortal blunderer! When you consider the opportunity and power He had to really do a job, and then look at the stupid, ugly little mess He made of it instead, His sheer incompetence is almost staggering. It’s obvious He never met a payroll. Why, no self-respecting businessman would hire a bungler like Him as even a shipping clerk!”

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 10

Maximum Loser

Welcome back to Fantasy High where the Abernant sisters are having sandwiches in front of the burnt ruins of their old mansion. You know, normal sibling activities! As we learned last week, Aelwyn is working for Kipperlilly (Adaine calls her Cottoncandy Bitchfuck which is one of my faves just for the levels of obvious disdain and degrees of separation from the original name) and Adaine wants all the info ASAP. Here is a rundown of what Aelwyn tells her (along with speculation on my part):

KP seems to be loaded in a way that isn’t connected to her parents' jobs (Dad is a realtor and mom is a clerk for the treasurer’s office). [Could she possibly be getting the money from her party member with a rich dragon ancestor? And could she be using her mom’s government job to get inside info somehow?]

KP has been employing Aelwyn as her “arcane errand girl”. She’s basically been getting her magical contraband which Aelwyn figures are spell components. Adaine asks why their party wizard Oisin can’t just do it and Aelwyn says that KP was very adamant about him being “protected”. [Does that mean protected as in not in trouble so he doesn’t get expelled and mess up their party comp or protected as in “I don’t want him to know what I’m doing because he wouldn’t approve”?]

KP never had Aelwyn steal a cloud rider engine for her but she did have Aelwyn download schematics for one which she thinks was so that it would be on her browser history not KP’s. [Aelwyn, do NOT get framed for this girl’s crimes I’m BEGGING you.]

Similarly, KP never texts Aelwyn any info. They always talk in person so she keeps clean at least on paper. 

There are two specific things that Aelwyn had to procure that were kind of hard to find because they’re more divine than arcane: Devil’s Nectar and Ambrosia. [We don’t learn what the properties of those are exactly but they seem pretty clearly to be the divine and infernal versions of the same thing. Maybe they can make a god or a devil? Sounds like it’s part of the resurrection plan–or maybe they want to raise a new god?]

Anyway, Aelwyn promises to shoot Adaine a text the next time KP reaches out to her so she can spy via scrying (I'm reminded of Spy, Tongue, Curse again). She also shows Adaine her tiny apartment full of senior cats and microwave dinner trays that’s sorely in need of a deep clean. Adaine invites her to swing by Mordred to get her laundry done and maybe hang out and Aelwyn seems tentatively receptive, even though the aggressive positivity of the house and its residents (who she does ultimately care about) majorly grates on her. 

[Also! Not plot relevant but their relationship progress is in full swing with open “I love yous”, only slightly undercut “I believe in yous”, and kisses blown as they say goodbye. I’m trying to be super streamlined with this recap so I can get it finished on time but I had to at least quickly mention how delighted I was by this scene which I have watched so many times. They’re doing it! Sisters!]

We next cut over to Riz who is in the car with his mom and he’s so so so over this whole semester. He keeps talking about everything that’s going on with the bored, anxious, almost whiny, but mostly resigned tone that makes her pull over and force him into a nap. Here are the mystery relevant bits of their conversation pre and post nap:

Sklonda’s case was defending a married firbolg couple–Alonso and Hespia Loam. Frosty Faire was supposed to be held at their farm but then they were accused of embezzling and the event pulled. [Firblog are giant-kin if that matters.]

They maintained their innocence and Sklonda believed them. The case was actually going to be a slam dunk because they found forgeries and docs submitted on their behalf. But then they got murdered so the case was over. [Forgeries and docs submitted on their behalf reminds me of Lucy’s god change form.]

Sklonda thought this case was strange because there’s no financial incentive to frame the loams. [Sounds like the motive could have been just moving the festival to a different location to me.]

The reason they were under suspicion was that amounts of money matching what was embezzled from Frosty Faire were deposited into the Loams' account but Sklonda was able to show that that was all bogus and that the Loams didn’t even use online banking and that a Bastion City VPN was involved. But again, before they could track that down beyond “somewhere in Solace” it got shut down due to the murders (which the cops are now investigating btw but this is a Brennan story so how useful will they really be? [This is also giving me KP vibes but in fairness, that girl is just suspicious.]

Lola Embers is the one who recommended the move from Loam Farms to the Thistlespring Tree. [A possible Ruben request since he’s her client?]

Riz also tells Sklonda all about what’s going on with the demon stuff and the Lucy stuff and the campaign stuff. Sklonda is concerned about the demon stuff but she’s honestly more concerned about Riz breaking his back and losing sleep over Kristen’s campaign. She’s very fired up and a bit incredulous that he’d work so hard for his friends who, from her POV, are always slightly bullying him (“Your name isn’t The Ball. It’s Riz!”). And, while she’s on it, he would be a great candidate himself! Riz assures her that their dynamic is fine and then worries her again right away by saying he’s absolutely gonna check out the crime scene. She sighs deeply and says they can check it out together because she knows she’s not talking her son out of it. (She also says she’ll try and get some info from her old co-workers but again, cops in a Brennan world so we’ll see how useful they are.)

Post Grix exploding, Jace hosts an impromptu assembly: Things are bad y’all! With Aguefort gone and Grix blown up (not to mention Yolanda dead), they’re getting to the point where it’s not clear that the school will be able to continue functioning. 

The whole cleric track is going pass/fail which none of the Rat Grinders seem to have strong reactions to (Ruben smirks and Buddy looks confused, but the rest look bored or unfazed). This news especially sucks for Freshmen and Sophomores who won’t be able to take the Last Stand exam Porter mentioned in an earlier episode. Some upperclassmen who maybe weren’t doing so hot (like Max and his party) look kinda stoked. Fig does insight on Jace and her roll is low (5) but he seems like he’s sincerely stressed about this unforeseen situation. 

Post assembly, Hilariel calls Fig (after 18 missed calls to Fabin’s phone which is on Do Not Disturb) to invite everyone over to spend The Lunar Yulenear (fantasy Christmas) with them (and also inform her that Gilear’s string of good luck is still going strong. He cracked his back while limboing and grained 2 inches in height!). Fig turns that into invites for everyone at Mordred (including Aelwyn who is a wanted criminal in Falinel and Sandra-Lynn who is Gilear’s unfaithful ex–wild crew). Fabian wants the chance to talk to his mom but by the time Fig hands over the phone, she’s already hung up. 

Riz fills everyone in on the Loam Farms situation and Gorgug worries that the soil at his house is corrupted now. Adaine reminds everyone that Fig is still super cursed and they should probably start looking into that soon. Kristen and Fig get naked for no reason so we’re gonna move on from that to Fabian getting a text from Mazey. Apparently she's just gotten some big news and she doesn’t know exactly who to talk to. He rushes away from his naked friends as quickly as he can (so valid) and goes to meet up with her. (While he’s en route, Riz wonders if the RG’s killed rats were being killed sacrificially and Fig wonders if Lucky FROSTblade had anything to do with the FROSTyfolk festival). 

Fabian meets up with Mazey who congratulates him for killing Grix since he mega-sucked and was shooting nets at kids. Then, she says that she knows that Fabian and his party have kinda always had the school’s back over the past few years and she trusts him which is why she’s telling him what she’s about to say. Remember how anything Aguefort says, even as a bit, is canon? Well, apparently he said once in an email that if there’s no principal then the school becomes a democracy and the student body president becomes principal. Fabian is baffled: surely the vice principal would become principal, right? But no. The system is set up so that there’s always one all powerful principal and one VP who is supposed to be Kalvaxus (remember, he was supposed to be imprisoned there forever). So she’d have to take classes (has to be a student enrolled in good faith) AND be principal and she doesn’t feel like she can do it. Fabian is awkward but encouraging and says he’ll do his best to help her and ask his friends for advice. When he does, Riz right away is like, "They’re gonna kill her, dude,” so Fabian rushes back and invites (practically begs) Mazey over after school so he can keep an eye on her. 

Once school is out, Fig does her bodyguard thing and secretly trails Mazey so she gets to Seacaster Manor safely. Once she’s there, she and Fabian have a bit of an awkward beat and then Mazey, who has clearly misread the situation, tries to make out with him. Fabian pulls back which makes Mazey confused and embarrassed. Fabian really quickly tries to reassure her that it’s not that he didn’t wanna kiss her. He’s just not in that mode right now and she’s in danger and they’re trying to kill her. She has NO idea what he’s talking about so he Facetimes Riz and the Mordred crew to explain. Mazey says that killing her wouldn’t make the killer the new Principal–it’s not Pokemon Champion rules. But Riz says that every person who’s had the top spot has been sidelined or killed so it’s safer to be careful. Maybe killing her would prompt an early election and whoever wins will be promoted early. She asks if this suspicion is just because they hate the Rat Grinders and Riz says that they have good reasons to be suspicious. They are all outraged though when Mazey says that the Ratgrinders famously hate them and have since Freshman year. [Hilarious that they were apparently publicly seething and haven’t been on the BK’s radar at all.]

Anyway, Mazey says she appreciates the concern but rushes to leave, embarrassed. Fabian tries to salvage the awkward encounter and tell Mazey that his reaction was about how stressed and worried he is, not about how he feels about her and Mazey seems genuinely concerned about him. Like, as a person. Is he eating? Is he sleeping? Is he being cared for in this big empty house? Fabian musters some bravado about how he’s a legend and the legend continues but it’s mixed in with some super obvious red flags about making his house a place people want to come to so he won’t be alone. Mazey says she’d still want to hang with him even if he wasn’t a Maximum Legend and then leaves to his cavernous, home, solo. 

Back to Adaine! Her next big roll is Mystery and she wants to learn about the giants and their gods. She uses a portent to get a 27 (which she needs because clues cost more right now) and here’s what she learns:

So first off, Ruvina is a Seasonal god (Winter) vs Sol, Helio, Cass, and Galicaea who are Celestial gods (Sun, Moon).

A bridal gift would only be given to the spouse of a sibling so that means that the missing dead god is Ruvina’s sibling. Brennan specifically mentions how hard/weird/complicated it would be to be prevented by Oblivati Mori from speaking of a spouse or sibling. 

There’s no mention of the missing god but there are mentions of the OTHER seasonal gods so Adaine can determine by process of elimination that the missing god is the summer one. 

She wonders if Sol or Helio stole the summer domain since they’re sun gods but Brennan said if they did, it wasn’t in one violent act. There’s no obvious crusade or anything like that. 

There is a certain point where “Sun” starts being capitalized like a name (like how in the Bible God is He not he). 

The bridal gift is only mentioned in early texts, not recent ones. Recent texts have a lot of mentions of fire. 

She doesn’t find any text concerning the gods followers. She does however find text that says “Beware the blades of the red fire”. These seem to be connected to the shatter star rage crystals but there's no clear timeline of them showing up once the god died. It seems like they existed at the same time. 

So, a lot of info but no big Aha! moment yet. 

She rolls Work for her third track and fails so she takes a stress token (up to three now). She only rolls well enough to not get fired (which, girl, just get fired! Make money another way! Ask your newly caring sister for some funds and don’t ask where she got them!). 

Lastly she rolls to relax but fails (been there girl) and has a deeply unsatisfying massage given to her by Lydia. 

Kristen is up next and her first roll is Popularity (makes sense) on the middle schoolers (you lost me). In fairness to Ally, there is method to their madness. They said in the Adventuring Party that the idea was that the school is across the street from where the bodies were found so maybe they could do some recon. Still, on the face of it, bonkers plan and Riz is low key wondering if his mom was right about them picking the wrong candidate. Anyway, she passes and now has advantage on charming any new middle schooler she meets lol. Brennan also makes her roll Perception and on a 14 gives her nothing. Ominous! 

The second thing she’s interested in is Relationships and she wants to talk to Lydia and also Buddy. With Lydia, she wants to know if there’s a way for them to talk to Bakur. Lydia says that Bakur is conscious and aware but she can’t talk to him because it would compromise the security of his gem prison. However, if they come up with a safe way to talk to him she’s game to participate, especially since she’ll def be a target if stuff with Bakur’s god is going down. Lydia also mentions that it seems like Cass might have been especially vulnerable in the Astral Food Court which makes Kristen even more suspicious of Kalina than she already was since she was the one who suggested that plan in the first place. 

Riz does Detect Evil on Lydia with his necktie so he can recognize Bakur’s magical aura on anyone else in the future and Brennan says that will also give him the ability to recognize anyone connected to Bakur’s god in the future. (Riz also says he wants to do the same on a Helioic cleric and the moon, presumably for the same reason but he doesn’t explicitly get to it this session). 

They then check on Fig to try to figure out what the heck her deal is and they find a lot lol. There are four main things happening with her aura. The strongest is the anarchy sigil on her forehead that marks her as the Archdevil of Rebellion. The second is her burgeoning paladin rage aura which matches Lydia's but seems more fiery and is also unaligned. The third is her warlock mojo which is unaligned as well. And the fourth is the lemony yellow aura of her curse. Her being a tiefling doesn’t even crack the top five of what’s going on with her apparently! 

Anyway, on to her second relationship thing–Buddy. Kristen finds him putting a Rat Grinders sticker on her locker which she peels off, clearly annoyed. There are three main important parts of that conversation which are as follows:

Kristen asks if there’s any rage talk happening at the Helioic church right now and Buddy says that Sol is angry–lots of people left the church during the months of night situation which makes sense. Worshiping the sun god during eternal night feels like a losing proposition. 

Buddy thinks it would be a great idea for his grandpa–Helioic evangelist Bobby Dawn–to become the new Cleric teacher to save everyone from going Pass/Fail. Kristen thinks that sounds like a nightmare and I have to agree. Buddy says that it’s fine because the cleric teacher has to worship *some* god, right? Might as well be Helio. But we know that’s untrue because Yolanda gave up her active connection with a specific divinity in order to minister effectively to her whole class. And I can’t imagine whoever raised Buddy would make a fair teacher who’s welcoming to all faiths. 

Buddy wants to “take Kristen into counsel” about her brother who he thinks is going down a dangerous path as he’s being exposed to various worldly elements at Aguefort. I have no idea what Buddy considers a dangerous path–for all we know Bucky is actually fully fine and coming into his own. Buddy offers to take Bucky under his wing and Kristen casually but very firmly says, “I’ll never let you do that.” [She really should check on him though, just in general.]

They close the conversation off with some faux cheerful/polite sniping about how Kristen’s god died again (point Buddy) that ends with Kristen saying that Cass will come back again as opposed to Helio who only came back once (point Kristen!). [She also tells Buddy, as she’s wont to do, that she met Helio and thought he was a total frat boy loser–just mentioning it in case it comes up again. He seems pretty sure that Kristen will come around though. Tres prodigal son.] 

Fig’s turn! She aces her Paladin, Bard, and Warlock classes–A+ across the board. [She gets to roll her Bard class at a DC 5 even though it’s her second track for reasons Brennan doesn’t tell us. We also learn that Lucilla Lullaby is now on sabbatical after her conversation with Fig. Girl, go to therapy.]

Anyway, Fig is working with Porter and Zara and they want to talk to her. She’ll have to pick her pact soon and though she’s doing really well, they’re not quite buying that her powers are coming from her deviation to Cass or doubt. Porter recognizes that protective, German Shepherd energy in her and when Fig floats rage (protective rage) as what’s motivating her, he has a positive reaction. Him jumping on the rage thing would already be a little suspicious but the next thing he says is, "If there was some other power like that that you knew could support Cassandra, [and] was connected to your friend Kristen, maybe that's a worthwhile thing to explore.” And I very much want to know if that’s a Porter nudge or a Brennan nudge because that really sounds like he’s hinting towards Cass’s sibling. Incidentally, Porter is an Oath of Ancestors paladin and an earth gensai since we’re keeping track of affiliations. 

For her next track, Fig wants to roll Mustery and ooh boy, Nat 20!

Here’s her bonkers/genius plan: She disguises herself as Wanda and boards a bus she knows Ruben will be on from all her recon. Adaine casts Nystul's Magic Aura on her to make sure that any detection spells will ping as whatever they want them to and not Fig. When Ruben boards the bus, she says that when she made a hasty exit after the festival she was breaking up with her boyfriend and when he asks what music she’s listening to, she shows him a fake episode of the Complicated Women Podcast about Lucy Frostblade. Ruben is instantly rattled and starts looking for the podcast but “Wanda” says it was an early release episode she got because she knows the producers. She lies and says they’re talking bout how they found Lucy’s body and Ruben says he used to be in a party with her. When Fig asks what she was like, Ruben speaks positively of her. She says she was noble and stuck to her guns. He’s really itching to get more info about the podcast and Fig says that she’ll send him the MP3 if he gives her an email. Ruben gives her Lola’s email (They have SOL instead of AOL in Solace) and his cell and then Fig Dimension Doors away, mysterious as ever. 

For her final action, she tries to roll Relationships for Riz but she doesn’t roll high enough to catch him with how busy he is. She still leaves him a nice note and signs it from Gorgug. In response to that, Riz sends back a very long, gushy text that’s so grateful for the check in. Gorgug has no idea what he’s talking about but returns the gesture by making him an Artificer Infusion: A Medal of Wit which gives advantage on Int checks and throws for an hour (one time use). Cute all around!

Let’s close out the episode with Fabian. Popularity: 29. He’s maxed out the track. Any stranger he meets at Aguefort is charmed by him for a minute. He gets a neck tattoo that says Maximum Legend. For Mystery, he wants to check in with his dad to ask about Hell/Curse stuff (but he clearly mostly just wants to hear from his dad). He fails and takes a stress to succeed with the help of the AV Club. Skrank and Shellford help him set up a little broadcasting booth that can reach the Nine Hells assuming Bill has the correct equipment. He tries to broadcast and the equipment is working correctly but Brennan rolls a 3 in front of the board so he gets no response. He speaks into the void about how he’s a Maximum Legend while in his house, utterly alone. 

He rolls for Fighter: B. He rolls for Owlbears. Fail. He rolls for Bard–the DC is 25 and he gets a 24. He’s at four stress so the next token will be a rage token. The table persuades him to take Fig’s cursed Bardic instead. He gets a single point which gets him to the 25 which is a D. Then Brennan gives him a Con save. He fails. Brennan says that, with that fail, he loses control of an important bodily function. He gets to choose which one it is and in front of who like a nasty game of Clue and…look. I’m gonna try and say this as delicately as possible but Lou is not making this easy for me. Lou’s decision is that he will lose control of his bowels in the middle of bard class. That’s as far into it as I’m gonna go–if you want the gritty details you’ll have to get them from the man himself. 

Terpsicore, his teacher, is very supportive and kind about it, but one of his classmates, Quincy, takes his lute and breaks it, calls Fabian a Maximum Loser, and quits Aguefort on the spot. He headbutts the door, making his head bleed, and says, “I fucking hate this school!” 

Which, on the one hand, valid sentiment to the latest bout of (almost literal in this instance) Aguefort bullshit. But headbutting the door to the point that he’s bleeding? Sounds a little bit like rage star effects to me. Is it connected? Or was this just the last shitty straw for Quincy? We’ll have to tune in next time to find out!

Honor Roll

Fig for Her Clutch Investigation Skills

Fig has honestly been killing it just in general lately. A pluses across the board? What a GPA jump! But I have to particularly commend her for skillfully keeping Ruben on the hook the way she has. This is maybe her most perfect ratio of bit to plan so far. It’s so funny but also going so well. And that Nat 20? Chef’s Kiss. 

Detention 

Lou (the player) for Describing [REDACTED]in Graphic Detail

I don’t care if Quincy was affected by the rage star or not. He was right. That *was* nasty. 

[five-miles-over]

Scavenger Hunt

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Summary: Loki has you go on a scavenger hunt one afternoon, not telling you what he has in store for you.

Warnings: a little angst, pre-established relationship (can be platonic or romantic)

"This looks like something stolen from the Graham Norton Show." You raised an eyebrow when Loki handed you an orange and purple card.

"It's a scavenger hunt." Loki said with a twinkle in his eye. "Every clue leads you to the next one."

"I know how a scavenger hunt works, Loki." You rolled your eyes and flipped over the card. "Was this your idea, or is this some ridiculous team-bonding activity put together by Steve Rogers?"

"No. You see,…I have some errands to do, but at the same time, I have an obligatory excursion with the Lady Valkyrie."

You crossed your arms. "So why the scavenger hunt?" Loki brightly answered. "Well, it makes the errands all the more fun!"

"Alright, but you owe me, Loki." 

"Good girl." The God of Mischief kissed you not the cheek and disappeared into thin air.

You glanced down and saw that the first card, which told you to pick up six cupcakes ordered under Loki's name. The cupcakes were from a specific café….that just so happened to be the place where you and Loki had your first date, which was set up by a far-too-enthusiastic Thor. The moment you got there, a waiter brought you a "complimentary" cupcake of your favorite flavor…along with another orange and purple card. 

The second card took you to the library, on the pretext of picking up a book that was on hold for Loki. There, the librarian handed you the book - Divine Comedy by Dante - and another book that you recognized. It was Pride and Prejudice, one of the first pieces of "Midgardian literature" that you introduced to Loki, a book that you were all too happy to fangirl over. But inside the book was - yes- another orange and purple card. 

The third card sent you to pick up Loki's dry-cleaning. (Really, Loki? Dry cleaning?) At the dry-cleaners, the person at the register handed you a transparent garment bag containing a black tuxedo with a ruffled white shirt. And then you were given a second garment bag with an emerald green gown embellished with diamonds. You couldn't help but stare a few moments at the pretty, expensive-looking gown. Before the person at the register could hand you another card, you made a mental note to ask Loki about the gown and whom it was for. You guessed it was probably for himself for the times he was feeling fabulous. Actually, Loki also liked to wear absolutely nothing when he was feeling his most fabulous…but that didn't matter right now.

The fourth card took you to the park where Loki confessed his love for you for the first time, on the pretext of picking up Loki's forgotten jacket and buying a bouquet of white flowers.

The fifth card took you across the city just to get a particular bottle of liquor that Loki had liked. Okay, now this guy was having a little too much fun with you right now. 

You were relieved when the sixth card, given to you by the liquor store clerk, led you back to the Avengers compound, to the same room where you began this entire scavenger hunt. You huffed a little, setting the box of cupcakes, the books, the two garment bags, Loki's jacket, the flowers, and liquor gently on a table. "Loki? Loki, where are you?" Loki stood in the middle of the Avengers' common room, wearing polished gold armor over a black and green leather tunic with long, dark trousers. His hair was combed perfectly in place, and his hands clasped behind his back. He stood surrounded by a few candles and fairy lights hanging against the curtains. "Okay, I need answers…" You sighed, already tired from running around all afternoon. "Loki, I got your things, just tell me what the gown is for and the…the liquor and the…Are you throwing a party or something?" "I'm getting married."

"What?!" You gulped, reaching for the nearest couch. "I…what? You're getting married, why didn't you tell me? And…" You felt your head start to spin, preparing yourself for the worst. Whatever happened to all the times he said he loved you? Was he just using you to put together some kind of romantic gesture for someone else, just a tool?! Perhaps this is what you get for letting the God of Mischief into your life. Betrayal. "Well, I hope they make you happy, Loki." You relented, putting your head in your hands.

"She does." 

"Good." You murmured, trying your best not to cry in this moment. That was the last thing you wanted him to see. "Is that gown for her too?"

"Hm-hm. Of course, it'll probably end up on the floor after the engagement party, hehe."

"Loki, I am in no mood for your jokes right now." After a few moments, you looked up. 

"Come on,…have a sense of humor."

"NO!" You yelled, getting up from the couch. "No, I will not have a sense of humor right now! You used me! You used me, and lied to me. You told me to do all of these errands, like picking up dry cleaning, and buying liquor, without telling me that you were going to propose to someone else! You could have at least told me, just so I'd have some kind of closure. But no, you couldn't even think to do that. You told me it was a scavenger hunt, like I wasn't worth knowing the truth.

I...I did this because I care about you, Loki! I care about you like some kind of idiot who actually thought that you might like me the same way that I liked you. That right there, making me like you might just be the worst thing you have ever done me." You took a moment to breathe, and ran your hands through your hair. 

"Ugh…And you made me even pick up her engagement dress! What kind of person makes someone do that?!" You couldn't even think about the words you were spitting out, too busy with the hot tears clouding your vision. 

"The kind of person who knows how good it'll look when you wear it."

"What?!" You were taken aback all of a sudden. 

Loki approached you with a hint of nervousness. "Darling, you are one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I know I'm not easy to be with, that I drive you mad sometimes, and I make you put up with a lot. I...I should've practiced this more." He laughed under his breath. "Why didn't I?" Blinking, he pushed his hair back before continuing. 

"What I'm trying to say is,...my life has never been the same since I met you. You're the most steadfast ally, a wonderful friend, and best of all, you are the most passionate and loyal person I have ever known. I could never imagine my life without you, and I never want to. That's how much I love you." The God of Mischief fell to one knee, and held up a small emerald ring with a gold band.

"Will you marry me?"

[coinandcandle]

Lammas

Learn about the holiday of Lammas!

What is Lammas?

Lammas, Lammas Day, Loaf Mass, Loaf Mass Day—however you’d like to call it—is a holiday celebrated originally by Christian Anglo-Saxons. Lammas is also called “the feast of first fruits” and is a harvest festival taking place on August 1st in the northern hemisphere (February 1st in the southern hemisphere).

Some neopagan religions, namely Wicca, would later add this holiday to their sabbats (see: Wheel of the Year). Due to various reasons, the holiday Lughnasadh—a festival historically celebrated in Ireland—became conflated with Lammas, and the two are often used interchangeably. For a short explanation as to why this is an issue, please see this post.

Etymology

Lammas comes from the Old English hlāfmæsse, or “Loaf mass”. This most likely references the tradition of making a loaf of bread with the crop harvested on Lammastide.

History

In the past, it was customary to bring a loaf of bread to one’s local church to be blessed or to have a procession from the church to a bakery wherein those who are working will be blessed. The blessed bread may also be used for the Eucharist.

Throughout Britain in the Middle Ages fairs would be celebrated, feasts would be had, rent would be paid, and local elections held.

Note: Lammas may have pre-Christian influences but the festivities we know of and its name come from a distinctly English and Christina era. It was not “stolen” from pagans.

Modern Day Lammas

These are simply suggestions, anything that can be seen as traditional will be marked with a (T).

Correspondences

Deities

The Christian God (T), Lugh, Demeter, Freyr, Osiris, and many of the harvest/agricultural deities.

Rocks, Crystals, Minerals, Etc

Sunstone, amber, gold, iron

Herbs and Plants

Wheat, cereals, corn (T), blackberries, blueberries, bilberries

Activities

Bake bread (T)

Hold a bonfire

Harvest crops (T) or tend to houseplants

Practice divination

Create or cast spells involving equity and justice

Visit a bakery (and tip your bakers if possible!)

Pray for blessings

Feast (T)

Offerings

Beer

Bread or other baked goods (T)

Any of the herbs or rocks mentioned above

Support local farmers

Dance or sing

Honor your ancestors, gods, or spirits with an altar or a space at your feast

References and Resources

Lammas - Britannica

A Little History of Lammas - A Clerk of Oxford

Lammas - Wikipedia

Stations of the Sun - Ronald Hutton

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