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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Top Gun (Movies) Rating: Mature Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Tom "Iceman" Kazansky/Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, Nick "Goose" Bradshaw & Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, Carole Bradshaw & Pete "Maverick" Mitchell Characters: Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, Nick "Goose" Bradshaw, Carole Bradshaw, Tom "Iceman" Kazansky Additional Tags: Canonical Character Death, Grief/Mourning, discussion of canonical character deaths, Mentions of Cancer, Canon Compliant, Magical Realism, Self-Acceptance, The Author Likes Fics About Walking Through The Underworld Too Much, Hopeful Ending Summary:
Maverick wakes up in the snow, helmet on, entire body aching intensely and parachute still attached.
It takes him about half an hour of trekking through the snow to notice that there’s anything amiss.
(Or: Maverick Mitchell is in the habit of talking to his ghosts. Usually, they don’t talk back.)
Hello~~
This fic was supposed to be my Halloween contribution. Obviously, that didn't happen LOL
I want to stress that you should MIND THE TAGS, lovelies! I am not joking about this one. It's sad, though there's a hopeful ending. I tried, anyway!
A huge thank you to Hawkey for the swift beta, and to the ENORMOUS team of cheerleaders who got me to this point (I, also, made myself sad writing this, if it helps LOL)
Title is from Traveling Song by Ryn Weaver, which is, I hope, the tone I leave you with. Give it a listen if you've never heard it!
Okay that's all. Enjoy!
#top gun#icemav#adi is a writer#tom iceman kazansky#nick goose bradshaw#carole bradshaw#pete maverick mitchell#major themes of death#discussion of cancer#mind the tags!!!#thank you to everyone how helped with this one#I hope you enjoy!#'til I meet you there#valley au
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What actually was Itachi's desease? Does anyone know?
I AM GETTING ITACHI ASKS! FINALLY!!! Though I imagine my answer might be disappointing :')
Itachi's Mysterious Illness
Length: • 3.2K Content: • Itachi's Illness as a Writing Tool • Itachi's Symptoms • Popular Diagnoses • Exploring Alternative Causes • My Thoughts and Theories
DISCLAIMER: I have no medical background and, for the most part, am relaying the findings of others, not my own. Some of the panels are out of order. Blue links are sources. The art in the header is mine.
Itachi's Illness as a Writing Tool
Itachi's illness is very much a mystery in canon. A side-note. Itachi doesn't make enough appearances in the story for us to get an elaborate picture of his health. While there are popular theories, the fact of the matter is, we just don't know for sure what he was suffering from.
Due to Itachi's illness not playing a larger role in the story, it is unlikely Kishimoto actually researched any particular disease to reference. He resorted to a fairly common trope called the "Incurable Cough of Death" which is known for taking inspiration from Tuberculosis and its bloody coughs. The author doesn't specify any illness. It is merely a plot device to push a storyline.
As a narrative device, you might even consider Itachi's illness as a metaphor. While dying young was a deliberate choice on Itachi's part, his illness further solidifies his decision, leaving him with no way back. It mirrors Itachi's lack of agency in life. And, of course, it also makes Itachi's suffering palpable and highlights it for the audience. Itachi is in agony, yet chooses to suffer for Sasuke's sake rather than taking the easy way out.
Of course, while Itachi's illness is an unspecified, plot- and/or narrative-device disease, that doesn't necessarily have to stop us from trying to find a real-world equivalent or an in-universe explanation. But to do so, we must describe his physical condition first.
Itachi's Symptoms
While hemoptysis is probably the trademark of Itachi's illness as portrayed in fandom, it can be argued he was experiencing a wider range of symptoms. None of these necessarily have to be the result of Itachi's illness but since they often come up in discussions, I will mention them anyway for the sake of completion.
Low BMI
To begin with, Itachi's body is in a fairly weak condition. For example, Itachi's BMI stands fairly low at 18.3 at the time of his death, which is considered to be slightly underweight. It is a slight drop from his 18.6 at 18 years old.
While BMI is not a professional way of measuring a person's health, it does bring things into perspective. Considering that Itachi is a physically active person, he probably had a low fat-to-muscle ratio. Combine that with his low BMI and we can fairly assume that Itachi had weight problems, assuming Kishimoto and/or his assistants put that much thought into those numbers.
Low Stamina According to Databooks
Itachi's stats in the Databooks also indicate somewhat of a physical weakness. While Itachi ties with Jiraiya in having the highest stat total in Sha no Sho (35.5 points), he has noticeably low stamina at a value of just 2.5 points. It is not a major deficit, but it is definitely odd, especially when putting things into perspective.
In the Databooks, characters with high stat totals usually have stat deficits at 3 or 3.5 points, not at 2.5. Stat deficits of 2.5 occur at slightly lower stat totals, like Might Guy who reaches a stat total of 31.5 and a hand seal deficit of 2.5.
Additionally, characters with stamina deficits are usually associated with physical ailments. Orochimaru is basically suffering from necrosis, Hiruzen is 70 (his old age likely impacting his physical prowess), and Kakashi basically goes unconscious every time he uses the Sharingan as early on as chapter 16 of Naruto (indicating low chakra reserves).
Again, we better hope those numbers were intentional or this doesn't mean anything.
Noticeable Frailty
But now, let's take a look at the manga to search for evidence. What other fans before me have already pointed out is that Itachi's interactions with Kisame are fairly curious.
In a seemingly random scene, Kisame worries about the weather, claiming both he and Itachi will catch a cold if they stay out in the rain for too long. It is a somewhat strange suggestion, considering that this is coming from a shark man who primarily uses water ninjutsu in his battle tactics. You'd think he isn't bothered by some rain or chill if he is already getting wet this often.
Not that this applies to his partner, however.
In chapter #364 we get a repeat of this scene in which Kisame expresses worry only for Itachi rather than for the both of them. Kisame is made out to be explicitly caring toward Itachi and sensitive to his health and needs. But looking back at chapter #353, he refrains from hurting Itachi's pride by stating it out in the open.
This recontextualizes the scene from a few chapters earlier as this pattern in Kisame's behavior is actually consistent with the rest of chapter #353.
Kisame mentions that Itachi was absent from his most recent battle against Roshi. For unknown reasons, this causes Itachi's expression to turn somber or melancholic (though it could be argued he is smirking ever so slightly). Perhaps Itachi was reminded of his physical decline. Perhaps he regrets missing out on this last mission with Kisame.
Either way, Kisame picks up on Itachi's mood and quickly clarifies that this solo battle was the former Kiri-nin's idea and not at all Itachi's fault. While we cannot say for sure, the possibility that Kisame insisted on going without Itachi specifically to spare the Uchiha from putting unnecessary strain on his body is definitely there.
Kisame goes on to say he is tired, yet the first person to sit down in search of a break is Itachi - The same guy who didn't even fight Roshi and, at least technically, should be in better health than Kisame.
Kisame's worry for Itachi's health supports the idea that Itachi has been struggling for a while now - long enough for Kisame to pick up on Itachi's condition. He watches out for any strain or health risks that Itachi might unwittingly subject his body to, implying certain frailty that could be explained by a weak immune system and/or a weak and easily fatigued body.
During the Battle (Hemoptysis, Vision Loss, Heart Attack)
Besides this, Zetsu comments on Itachi's condition multiple times - both during and after the brothers' battle. He mentions that Itachi's movements were sloppy and wonders why he was coughing up blood. He hypothesizes that Itachi's body may have already been pre-damaged at that point.
Guessing by Zetsu's reaction, this must have been a recent decrease in Itachi's battle performance rather than a long-established issue. Combining this with Kisame's behavior (that instead implies a longer history) Itachi's condition has likely been bad for a longer time but never impacted him this severely until now. The illness may have just worsened naturally, but Itachi could've also stopped medicating or caught an additional infection.
During the actual battle, we see Itachi struggling with several more symptoms. He suffers from vision loss as well as from hemoptysis (bloody coughing) and what appears to be a heart attack or otherwise intense chest pain.
After the end of the battle, White Zetsu also theorizes that Itachi's symptoms may have simply been caused by the Sharingan, only for Black Zetsu to voice his uncertainty. An odd reaction, considering that Zetsu is one of the few characters that should be fairly knowledgeable about the Sharingan and its drawbacks. This implies that Itachi's symptoms are atypical of your usual Sharingan overuse.
Medication
Obito later explains that Itachi's illness was terminal and demanded regular medication to prolong the patient's lifespan. Obito unfortunately does not comment on the origins of Itachi's illness or any of his symptoms, though.
While not necessarily canon, in "Naruto Jinraiden: The Day the Wolf Howled", Itachi uses a drug called "Kotaro", which uses hallucinogenic substances. It is applied via the eyes and also helps with irritation of the Mangekyo Sharingan.
Popular Diagnoses
Once again, Itachi's symptoms are rather vague, befitting the Cough of Death trope. But some people have still managed to find likely candidates for real-world equivalents.
One such candidate is obviously Tuberculosis. It matches some of Itachi's symptoms, such as his coughing up blood, chest pain, weight loss, and tiredness. Another Tumblr user pointed out, however, that Tuberculosis is highly infectious. Had Itachi contracted the disease, other Akatsuki members would've fallen ill as well, not to mention Sasuke who came into contact with Itachi's blood and was supposed to inherit his eyes. This would've been beyond careless of Itachi. Any infectious, terminal diseases can therefore be safely ruled out.
The same user argued that Itachi may have had Lupus or ITP, both of which are immunological and therefore better suited for Itachi's diagnosis. It should be noted, however, that Itachi does not express many symptoms associated with Lupus, such as joint swelling, rashes, and skin lesions, and ITP is not particularly known (if at all) for hemoptysis.
The most popular theory is probably that Itachi had MPA. It is known for bloody coughs, cardiac failure, fatigue, weight loss, and in rare cases it may damage the eyes. But there are also people who disagree with the MPA theory, mostly due to his young age (which is atypical for MPA patients), but also because MPA causes diffuse alveolar hemorrhage, which the original poster deems more severe than just hemoptysis. While Itachi's symptoms match MPA somewhat, it might not be a perfect match.
But Itachi could have also died of lung cancer, Sarcoidosis, AIDS, SLD, Viral Perimyocarditis, Pneumonia, Paragonomiasis, Lymphoma, or something entirely different, due to the vagueness of his symptoms. But since we are talking about a fictional universe, it could also be a fictional disease or even a disease that attacks fictional parts of ninjas' anatomy (such as Tenketsu, Chakra Pathways, etc.).
And while I do like the idea of Itachi just being hated by life itself (vocaloid reference, haha) and developing a terminal condition on top of all his other sufferings, I could also see it being a manifestation of his guilt and trauma rather than just simply being an unrelated burden the universe put on him. Heartbreak Syndrome, basically.
Exploring Alternative Causes
Another way to explain Itachi's symptoms is by finding alternative causes. Believe it or not, but it is not 100% certain that Itachi had a disease in the traditional sense at all.
Obito Is a Liar
One of the reasons why is that Obito, unfortunately, is a liar. Especially in his conversation with Sasuke, his goal is to make Itachi as sympathetic to Sasuke as possible and demonize Konoha. Both are in an attempt to win over Sasuke's loyalty and Obito is not at all afraid of lying to Sasuke.
This is hinted at in the Databooks but also becomes evident in certain instances where Obito's exposition simply proves wrong - most notably the cause behind the Ninetails Attack. Obito's words directly clash with Itachi's and later Kushina's flashbacks.
Not to mention, Black Zetsu appears noticeably confused about Itachi's condition, leaving us to question how Obito acquired this much information on Itachi in the first place, if not through the Akatsuki's spy. Is Obito really this knowledgeable about Itachi? Would Itachi's condition really have been terminal? Did Itachi have his condition treated with medicine? Or is it all just a shot in the dark on Obito's part?
Long story short, we cannot trust Obito's word when making any claims about canon.
But now, let's find the promised alternative explanations.
Itachi's BMI Is a Lifestyle
To begin with, most of the Akatsuki members actually have low BMIs. Obviously, Nagato is severely underweight, but even characters like Sasori and Hidan score quite low. The average among the Akatsuki appears to be at 17.8 (or 18.2 if we exclude outliers like Nagato, Konan, and Kisame). This might reflect the Akatsukis' precarious living conditions or just the standard Ninja physique, rather than indicating any specific ailments among the Akatsuki members.
Of course, Kisame still manages to somehow reach a healthy BMI, but this might be the result of their respective diets rather than Itachi just magically losing weight. While Itachi dislikes steak (which has high calories and protein) he eats less nutritious foods like onigiri with seaweed, dango, and cabbage. Meanwhile, Kisame loves shrimp and crab (which are high in protein). And beyond that, Itachi could be suffering from mental illness instead, impacting his eating habits.
It should also be noted that low BMIs (as well as stress and trauma) can weaken the body's immune system and impair its ability to fight off common infections.
No Training, No Stamina
As previously mentioned, while Itachi's low stamina is highly unusual among characters of comparable caliber, it is just a small difference of 0.5 points. It might merely be the result of his fighting style which relies primarily on genjutsu or quick and painless assassinations rather than physically taxing maneuvers. This would be similar to Might Guy, who has a 2.5 deficit in hand seals due to a lack of practice.
But this explanation still begins to sound less sufficient when we look back at the manga itself. Itachi's interactions with Kisame in chapters #353 and #364 imply a certain frailty beyond just a simple lack of practice. But this is where Itachi's Sharingan becomes relevant.
Mangekyo and Susano'o Side Effects
Many fans underestimate the damage a Mangekyo Sharingan can inflict on its user. Most notably, the Mangekyo causes the user's eye to bleed and become irritated. Their eyesight deteriorates with repeated use until full blindness. (refer back to chapter #386). Those are not symptoms specific to Itachi at all and can therefore not exactly be traced back to any disease.
Additionally, the Mangekyo does not just affect the user's eyes. In the case of Susano'o specifically, it is stated to be hard on the user's body. Sasuke describes it as an unbearable pain affecting every cell in his body. And to top it off, it causes hemoptysis for Sasuke as well each time the Susano'o is in use.
It appears as though hemoptysis is not at all exclusive to Itachi but a Susano'o-specific symptom. It doesn't change that Zetsu remains puzzled about Itachi's bloody cough, so we have to assume Zetsu might just not be as much of an expert as previously assumed.
Assuming Itachi had already used the Susano'o at a point in time prior to his battle with Sasuke, it is possible that this jutsu has damaged Itachi's cells.
Since we know that the body's cells are partially responsible for chakra production, cell damage should logically impact a ninja's ability to produce chakra. Assuming Susano'o-conducted damage is at all permanent and that Itachi has ever used it prior to his battle with Sasuke, this may have caused an irreversible chakra shortage for Itachi.
Sharingan Side Effects and Chakra Depletion
In general, besides the Susano'o, the Mangekyo is known for wearing out its users. Not just Kakashi, who famously ends up in the hospital each time he uses it, but Itachi too requires long rests after using the Mangekyo. Notably, Kisame describes using the Mangekyo as "dangerous".
Even the standard Sharingan can deplete the user's chakra to the point of being immobilized. As we can see in early Naruto chapters, the Sharingan can put Kakashi out of commission for a weak (refer to chapter #16). It appears as though chakra exhaustion causes muscle weakness (inability to move) and fatigue.
While not as extreme, this would explain Itachi's fatigue in his interaction with Kisame in chapter #353. In this chapter, we can see that Itachi's Sharingan has remained active for an unknown period of time and likely robbed Itachi of a portion of his chakra. If this is something he did regularly, it might also explain Kisame's concern for Itachi.
If we think about this one further, it could be argued that the heart, due to being a muscle, can fail in the case of excessive chakra exhaustion.
My Thoughts and Theories
Itachi's vision loss and hemoptysis can clearly be attributed to his excessive Mangekyo and Susano'o use, as far as I am concerned. And right now, all of Itachi's symptoms can be logically explained without adding an unknown disease into the mix.
Although Zetsu still remains an unreliable source in this instance (due to not knowing that hemoptysis is a common symptom induced in response to using Susano'o) it should be noted that unlike with Itachi, this does not result in a lethal outcome for Sasuke who, as opposed to Itachi, uses his Susano'o constantly. When hypothesizing that Itachi's body may have been damaged from the beginning, he probably wasn't far off. This is also what Itachi's interactions with Kisame seem to imply.
While Itachi's Mangekyo use and chakra exhaustion probably put the final nail in his coffin, it stands to reason that his body was prestressed by yet another condition that shrunk down his chakra reserves and left him, in Kisame's eyes, "frail". It's comparable to how many diseases such as AIDS, Diabetes, autoimmune diseases, or other conditions don't kill you on their own but instead lay the groundwork for a truly lethal illness.
But even then, this pre-sustained damage has logical explanations as well. His low fat could be the result of his lifestyle. His low stamina and chakra may be the result of repeated Sharingan/Susano'o use or a lack of practice. His heart attack may have been the result of ordinary chakra exhaustion. His immune system may have been weakened due to his low weight (but then again, he is not significantly underweight), stress, and/or trauma, resulting in the contraction of a regular infection as Itachi stood in the rain without protection. This explains his seemingly "sudden" decrease in battle performance.
Conversely, it is not unreasonable to assume Itachi indeed had an incurable condition - unrelated to Sharingan's drawbacks. While Obito and Zetsu are not at all reliable sources, they do push the "Itachi was ill" narrative rather hard and the story never cares enough to dispel their claims.
Beyond that, Itachi's symptoms can be viewed as a causality dilemma. What was first? The chicken or the egg? The immune system or the illness? While low weight, stress, and/or trauma can result in frequent infections, so can a major infection lead to increased stress or low weight. While blaming Itachi's poor condition on his lifestyle is a valid interpretation, it is not at all confirmed.
Narratively, it makes a lot of sense to burden Itachi with a painful, incurable disease. Aside from externalizing Itachi's suffering to the outside, where the audience can see it, it manages to evoke stronger sympathy from the reader, mixing in a sense of unfairness and tragedy.
But alas, this is not sufficient evidence, and instead, we could also view Itachi's damaged condition as a metaphor for how very often, life does not leave Itachi with any options other than harming himself. Due to his growing blindness, he is forced to use his Sharingan more frequently. Due to his status as Nukenin, he cannot take care of himself as diligently. And then those minor inconveniences spiral out of control, piling ailment after ailment on him.
Unfortunately, none of this leaves us with a definitive answer. Perhaps Itachi did have a terminal illness. Perhaps he did not. The story seems intentionally ambiguous.
#will i proceed to ignore my own analysis and headcanon itachi to have had lung cancer or another disease that causes hemoptysis?#unfortunately. yes.#you can tear this beautiful piece of angst from my cold dead hands#I like Itachi being terminally ill#that just makes him so much more in need of hugs#why does this essay have an inventory and a header image?#simple. it's because itachi is my fav and therefore deserves special treatment#and also i am still having illusions about creating an itachi master post in the future so i need everything structured and tidy for that#itachi#itachi uchiha#itachi's illness#itachi theory#naruto theory#naruto analysis#naruto discussion#naruto art#naruto#incurable cough of death#anon#ask#anon ask#naruto ask
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ASTROLOGY QUESTIONS
Hey! A quick engagement post for you all. I've been wanting to have wide discussions on these topics lately and wanted anyone who felt called to answer to express their feelings on any of the questions i have below! Please dont feel the need to hesitate, its all fun and just exploring each others minds lol.
Neptune 12th housers - Do you ever feel silenced in your voice? Like the words you speak, the dreams you carry, people dont bother to listen? They just feel like its noise and dont participate in exploring who you are as an individual. It just feels lonesome.
Venus in the 1st - Do people have high standards and expectations on you? Especially on what you should be like in their own minds view? Ever had to deal with petty arguments that came from out of the blue, just to find out its cause they were secretly envious or had a crush on you?
Mars/Pluto Conjunction - Feel rageful often? How do you use this energy to bring attention to your emotions? Do you have a special outlet for this rage you carry?
Lilith in the 1st - Tired of people looking at you strange? Do you ever feel that you're 'odd looking'? Have others made you feel gross in your own skin? How often do you go to lakes and forests to clear your head?
Moon in Cancer in the 4th - Do you feel alluded or subjected to family issues more often than you should? Does family ever come around and make you feel lonesome, tiresome, and exhausting? like i mean all that you do for them is lovely, they just find it overbearing?
Moon in Taurus - Ever feel like your wants and desires are but a dream? People close the door on you when you express yourself, and only ever do they listen when your mad, bored, or tired? They only feel wanted when your not yourself, is that right?
Scorpio Venus - Is your love life boring? Like.. i got ask this lol. or was it boring BEFORE? At some point did you ever just do something so taboo and adventurous , it almost cost you your life? your past life.
did you get up one day and just figured you make the most of it? so it doesn't matter how much you express your 'lovin' (wink ;) lmao) to others as long as you got it out...?
Mercury in Aries - Does your blunt mouth get you in trouble? Do you ever just go off the dome and speak your ideas, feelings, and desires out loud it makes others think your crazy? Do people ever feel like telling you to have more 'tact' or grace in your speech? How often do you tell someone to fuck off? serious question.
Last one!!
Sun in Gemini - How many masks do you honestly keep up with? Do you ever show your true self to people? And i dont mean just one version just the whole spectrum of being a complex human.
How many secrets have you gotten out of others just by sitting quiet and observing? The spoken and unspoken ones i mean. People dont believe me when i say this, but i always say geminis are just scorpios who are very talkative lol.
None of these were to be shady, btw. I just wanted to converse and have fun with the topics lol.
Let me know in your replies babes!!!!
#astrology questions#astro asks#astro fun#astrology humor#astrology discussions#astrology observations#neptune 12th house#venus in the 1st#mercury in aries#sun in gemini#scorpio venus#moon in taurus#moon in the 4th#moon in cancer#lilith in the 1st house
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So what kind of a dad is q!Phil anyways?
So, Phil getting Tallulah and Chayanne to wear armour and learn how to fight. Also Bad doing this with Dapper, and the Brazilians trying to do this with Richas, and the french with Pomme, but when it gets discussed, it's mostly focusing on Phil because of the contrast of Wilbur not wanting his kids to have to fight. There's some really fun discussion that comes up with that!
And the interesting thing is that when we're trying to pull up other cultural touchpoints to compare phil-and-fighting-and-the-kids to, a lot of the other characters have very specific vibes, so to speak. I was in a discussion the other day where someone compared Phil in this with the dad in Supernatural, and him getting his sons to follow him on hunts. Cause he's a dad training his kids to fight, right? From a very young age? However, I don't think this is a perfect comparison, and I wanted to share the one that comes to mind for me, despite the fact that it deals with some pretty dark topics. This whole post deals with some dark topics, you might want to check the tags, just so you know.
Anyways, I never watched Supernatural, so I didn't do much more than think emoji in the moment when this comparison came up. But I checked in with friends who have watched it, and I think Phil QSMP and John Winchester Supernatural are acting from some pretty different places. John Supernatural is teaching his kids to fight because they have a duty and a lineage and have to help save the world, but at the same time there's this tragedy there that implies that he's so focused on his duty as a hunter that he's not seeing that maybe you don't need the kids for that. They could start when they were older—or maybe they could not start this! He essentially conscripts them into a battle that shapes the course of their lives, as little warriors, and they never have a choice in it. And he's not above using them as bait, because they're warriors, right? The battle is so important? They want to be involved, they want this (of course they want this, you're their dad, and they believe you that this is important). He's a true believer.
Whereas Phil is faced with a world that actively and constantly wants to kill his kids, and he's trying to train them to defend themselves. He's trying to say that there's danger out there, you take care of yourself, I'm going to put myself on the line for you, but if I fail, if I'm not there, you won't be defenseless if it comes down to it. I have had my beef with fics that take on this topic, in fact, because I've seen people write Phil as using his kids as bait to get to the codes or forgetting his kids in his code battle, and that's not how I interpret the character motivattion and actions. For me, the way I see it, Phil is always thinking of how best to defend the eggs, and everything else is in service to this. He's a man with anxiety on an island that wants to kill his kids, not a warrior in an epic battle.
Does this mean that the eggs are gonna grow up and go to therapy about their childhood full of danger? Hell yeah they wll. This is not an ideal childhood. But— and this is the crucial thing— they're going to grow up. Same with Dapper, same with Richas, same with Pomme— living your life under constant need to teleport out to safety is bad, objectively, but when the alternative is living in the moment until you die, I think the teleporting out is better, actually.
And the comparison that comes to mind for me, because of my personal experience, is not examples in media of parents training their kids to fight, but examples in media or in real life of parents dealing with serious and or terminal illness in kids. Cause that's what my family did. And boy is there resonance there.
I don't know of any parent of a kid with cancer who likes putting their kid through treatment. Chemotherapy sucks, radiation sucks, surgery sucks, immunotherapy sucks, none of this is good. I have seen this tear up parents (and siblings) inside. But it's better than letting their kids DIE, isn't it? And before you say well, obviously everyone is on the same page when it comes to things like chemotherapy, I have *seen* people go out there and post at cancer families about how they can't believe they're putting poison in their children's bodies when they should just eat better, etc. (This take reminds me strongly of the "she shoudln't wear armour cause she shouldn't have to fight" take about Tallulah.) Serious illness in kids forces you into terrible situations, but the only saving grace is that they're better than the alternative, you hope.
The only thing that makes me go ehhhhh maybe with Phil and the Mr Supernatural is him letting Chayanne fight, but Chayanne is a kid being hunted whose sister (also being hunted) is disabled, and this happens whether or not Chayanne is involved, and he wants to try and defend her so bad. I don't think saying "let her die if necessary, don't intervene" is going to be a conversation that ends up with less trauma, if you know what I mean. That is simply a situation that has no real win conditions out of it. At least this way he feels like he has some control? (Note: this is a bad situation, there's no getting around it.)
QSMP is so often a story about forces beyond our control trying to destroy us, and while Supernatural and its ilk also has that tone, within Supernatural there's at least a population that doesn't have to be part of the battle, so opting into the battle becomes on some level a choice, and involving children in that is also a choice, one that you can hold up to the standards of allowing children to have a childhood and go "is this ethical". On Quesadilla island, there's literally no opting out of this fight. There are malevolent forces that are directly trying to destroy you, destroy your children, and the question of allowing children to have a childhood has been effectively taken out of your hands. You simply have to do the best with the situation you have, and have a birthday party while keeping the armour on. And this reminds me much more strongly of situations like childhood cancer, than it does of cases in media of people concripting their children into battle.
In both cases children are trying to fight malevolent entities that want them dead, as pushed to fight by their parents, but boy, at least to me, the tone is pretty different. I think the question of "is it self defense or did you choose to be here" is pretty important.
#cw child death#cw cancer#cw childhood cancer#cw child abuse#discourse#qsmp#philza#fandom meta#bad dad phil discussion
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logan and wade helping each other deal w their chronic pain <3
#having a metal skeleton and literally being made of cancer cannot be fun#i recently read a fic where wade would pick fights w logan bc the endorphins from the exercise and pain from being stabbed distracted him#from the pain of his cancer#and i thought that was a very interesting take on pain management that can only be done with these characters#could also look at it from a self harm perspective…. but i digress#i think we should all be discussing their chronic pain more#anyway#poolverine#deadpool#wolverine#txt
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every now and again i come across a gifset and i am hit with the full force realization of exactly the kind of psychosexual.... well it was certainly a psychosexual something or other! between hickey and crozier. like. christ alive. there is something fucking wrong with you two.
#terror blogging#i feel like. i just don't see the amount of discussion i would expect to see.#about crozier's by proxy gang rape disciplinary exercise#crozier had to cut a lot out of himself to survive the expedition and yes much of the cancer was English. but plenty of it was his own.
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So one of the things that made me cry (and laugh) the most, when reading the whole series was in Debriefing when Ice has surgery and Mav kisses him on the forehead, then Ice types out “I am cured” with like no punctuation. (Because of course Ice is the punctuation man 99% of the time.)
One, Ice is actually so fucking funny with the “I am cured.” Like no one would believe how funny he actually is. (And I headcanon that Mav knows this, of course, but almost no one else believes him. Which drives him up the wall.) Two, that exchange was so simple but so loving??? Foaming at the mouth here. Especially after those crazy 30 years. So my question is, what are Ice and Mav’s kisses of choice? Forehead, cheek, regular ol’ lips, the world is their secretly sappy oyster.
I haven’t read that chapter of debriefing since fucking last October! Whoa! not sure how i feel about it .
regular ol’ on the lips :) it means something more than all the rest, it’s romantic in a way none of the others are (which is why it’s so dangerous)
okay yes re: ice being funny yes. wait wait wait let me find it in my doc hold on
here!
#Let this post make up for no wip Wednesday#augh ough#don’t like thinking about it#ice’s/val’s cancer is my ‘i don’t want to talk about it’#PLEASE don’t talk to me about how ice Will probably die before mav i simply do not want to discuss it i simply won’t think about it just#like ugh don’t ugh ough it is so painful sometimes i just. Like. i fucking hate old people ngl like this is so awful#regarding this post specifically:#this is Christmas 2014#i feel like: why Ice fell in love with maverick is pretty easy and obvious#why maverick fell in love with ice is pure selfishness#no one else ever gets to see the real ice#as my cyclone said about mav—‘You’re the only one of us who knows anything of him at all’#and he feels lucky beyond belief for that but he is also not interested at all in sharing#pete maverick mitchell#tom iceman kazansky#top gun#icemav#asks#edts notes
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TARLOS | S1E4 | Part 5 [TK only] FULL TARLOS STORYLINE | ONLY TARLOS SCENES
#911 lone star#tarlos#911lsedit#tvedit#gayedit#tarlosedit#full tarlos story#tk strand#owen strand#judd ryder#ronen rubinstein#rob lowe#jim parrack#gay#gay tv series#queer media#s1e4: act of god#tk only clip#cw cancer#cw discussion of addiction#*queue
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The Mifune meme made me realise "wait, people dont really talk about him that often, dont they?"
Think about it, isnt it strange? He appeals both to boys as the stoic badass samurai ("Omg he doesnt need a demon weapon, his soul is worth 99!") and to girls as a pretty boy to ship with the other pretty boys (as they do with Spirit and Stein, but maybe Im being too dismisive and thats cause those two have shared backstory)
But no matter how controversial it is to say that what I just implied, it's no question that Mifune had all the atributes to be made into a fanfavorite - "Oh he's so cool and serious but he also protects the innocent look how friendly he is with kids!" "Wow is he a bad guy or good guy??! What intrigue" "wow look how epic his battles with BS are!" and (manga spoilers) "Wow what a dignified death, how tragic and sad, yet how beautiful!"
The joke is, this might sound as if I was some fanboy crying about people not appreciating a charachter - but the thing is I dont really care about him myself lol.
Like on an "intelectuall" level I get that I should but somehow he was allways just ok, had cool scenes and is more likeable than not, but somehow he never really "connnected" or "resonated" with me (what zero demon weapons does to a mf?)
So with that said:
#soul eater#mifune#oppinion#discussion#discourse#idk#atleast the whole infinity swords stuff is cool#Do you think having him end up with Azusa and raising Angela with her is a good idea or worse than when people casually used “cancer” online
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WIP Wednesday
Operation Groundhog AU again today! Warning for mentions of cancer ('86 Ice had to find out about that eventually...)
“He’s thinking of retiring end of the year, actually,” the Captain says, and Ice feels his own tension ratchet up again. “No, no--damn, you are hard on yourself.” The Captain laughs. “It’s because the next presidential election is next year. If he retires now, he’ll be at five years as a civilian at the end of the next term--eligible for SecNav at the start of the term of whoever that President is. I think he’s had his fill of this one,” the Captain muses. “But either way, the point is: this isn’t even really the end of his career, as far as he’s concerned.” The Captain nudges their shoulders together. “Not sure if you’ve noticed, but he--you--are an ambitious sonuvabitch.”
“I have noticed that, sir,” Ice admits.
“I’ll bet you have. You know he didn’t even take time off during chemo? He grumbled about having to schedule three day weekends once a month.”
Ice snorts.
The Captain smiles wider. “Yeah. He thought he was pretty funny with that one, too. The rest of us were ready to kill him ourselves, mind.”
“Sorry,” Ice says.
“Liar,” the Captain says, voice achingly fond, and then slaps his thighs. “Alright, I said fifteen minutes, and we’re getting close. Let’s go, Lieutenant. We have a debrief to complete.”
#adi is a writer#the process#wip wednesday#icemav#wip snippet#warning for#discussion of cancer#discussion of chemo
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man i just don't enjoy a villain protagonist. remember when that was a massive thing here years ago?? like people ate that shit up
#im not insane for this right? it was a big thing#i love a good villain but as a pov character.... nahhhhhhh#so i finally watched breaking bad and it's a great show but just so not my thing#i feel like s4 would've been a perfect end because genuinely? i don't want to know any more#getting through s5 was like pulling teeth#this show is so deeply american (neutral statement!! i get it! it's compelling) but to me... we didn't need to see walt get his due#it feels very idk. moralistic fairytale. to me. the rise and fall of it all#i think the story would've been more compelling if it was left open-ended#and more tragic too!#like i do NOT root for walt. he's fucking awful. i want him to get caught. and yet somehow watching s5 is so so so so deeply frustrating#the real tragedy here is that a chemistry teacher can't pay off his cancer treatments#chat tag#also please don't come on this post and tell me i missed the point of the show i'm not interested in that sort of discussion#anyway. good show or whatever
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so humans 210 years post war have probably evolved some natural resistance to radiation, which makes sense since a lot of wasteland creatures have also done that ANYWAY
Do you think the Sole Survivor would end up developing cancer eventually? They wouldn’t have that immunity and would be more vulnerable to radiation, the radiation drugs would probably stave it off for a while but I still see the damage radiation plays on a persons dna catching up after a while.
#fallout#fo4#fallout 4#this is a long winded way of saying I’m thinking of giving my sole survivor cancer#think it helps to fit that person out of time thing#the world is so much more hostile for them now#discuss amongst yourselves
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like if i can be totally honest, i live in fear of the day my mother informs me she's chosen medical assistance in dying. maybe that's selfish of me but i spent a good part of my teen years into my early 20s believing that she would kill herself if i moved out, so i'd really rather not have that fear come true a decade later with help from the detestable canadian government.
#beldam speaks: personal#motherposting#i think it's been over 15 years since her cancer diagnosis#could also be that my own fear of death/the obliteration of the self that it represents hangs over any discussion of my loved ones dying
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it sucks that so much of my family has also dealt with cancer but it's really lovely that they were able to give me warnings about things
#a friend of mine just had a computer glitch and lost a bunch of work and i said it sucked and i'm sorry and asked if he could email his prof#and he's i think just really upset about it as i would be too bc that does suck so bad#but i don't have the energy to commiserate. i feel like a steaming pile of shit right now. i only got home 30 minutes ago from the hospital#and i have to go back tomorrow and then spend the rest of the day probably feeling like this while also having to go to another appointment#bc i need to get my earrings changed out so i can take them out for my body scan#and then going home with earl and setting up. and finally getting a bday gift to my friend as well and dropping that off#i feel increasingly gross and sick rn and this was just one injection#but my relatives were like 'listen. no one in your life is going to get this unless they've had cancer. and it sucks but that's how it is'#and i'm just very glad i got that heads up because i'm getting a lot of love and support from relatives now#esp the ones who also dealt with cancer#but it's just been radio silence from friends. and i get it i get they have their own lives and might not know what to say#but it does still hurt a little#i do have one friend who has been lovely and accommodating with the diet i have to be on#but my other best friend is just. i think with his school he has his own friends and his own life but. yeah. it just hurts a little#maybe i'm being irrational idk. something to discuss with my therapist today at our appointment#not everything is about me etc etc#this is the same friend who lost his work that i mentioned in the tags#cancer tw
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Not sure if anyone is gonna care about this as much as I do, but I’m throwing it out into the MMFD Fandom ether here on Tumblr just in case.
So…Let’s discuss: My Mad Fat Diary character Zodiac Signs✨
I’ve done a bit of research (aka rewatching certain episodes lol) and some of their signs are confirmed:
Izzy is a Cancer (her birthday is near/on July 10th according to S1E1 when Rae meets the gang for the first time and Izzy is celebrating her 16th birthday at the pub)
Rae is a Sagittarius (she says this in S1E2)
Archie is an Aries (Rae says this in S1E2)
Chloe is a Scorpio/Sagittarius Cusp (her 17th birthday party in S2E5)
And I have a theories about what Finn and Chop might be but I can't recall if there’s ever been anything confirmed or any proof in the show...does anyone else have thoughts/theories or am I the only one that thinks about these types of things when I'm rewatching the show for the Nth time/reading or writing fanfic lol 🤪
#mmfd#my mad fat diary#mmfd fandom#my mad fat diary fandom#Izzy being a Cancer makes so much sense to me tbh#idk if Rae's exact bday is mentioned in the show but I get December Sag vibes from Rae opposed to November Sag vibes#I don't see Archie being an Aries but I also have only interacted with Aries women so maybe Aries men have different energy??? idk#I really hope this post finds the right people bc I need to discuss Finn and Chop's signs or I will just keep assuming I'm right lol#At first I thought Chloe might be a Virgo/Libra and it didn't feel right but Scorpio/Sag makes so much sense to me tbh
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.
#my papa was diagnosed w lung and colon cancer. and he's too frail to do anything about it. so he's essentially just going to slowly die#they're not sure how long it'll take. or how advanced the cancer is. but it's there. and it will take him.#my grandma is also descending into bad dementia from her multiple traumatic brain injuries#it's gotten noticeably worse this past month#she needs to stop driving but I'm the only person in the family w a driver's license who can get to her#so if anyone was to pick up the slack it would be me.#aside from literally not having time nor money for that. I don't know how to handle this sort of grief#I'm 26 but I haven't come to terms w the fact that there is a quickly approaching day#where I'm going to wake up and my grandparents aren't going to be around any more#and I won't see them ever again.#I know I shouldn't borrow grief. but how do you avoid it.#and my granddad too.#and I can't really discuss this with anyone else. my siblings should be the ones that I could unpack this with#but bc of the age gaps between most of us they have an entirely different relationship with these people than I do#I remember everything. picking my granddad up from the airport. him giving me tootsie rolls. crying when we dropped him back off.#going fishing w my papa. bringing the fish back and watching my grandma gut and filet them. building a sandbox with him.#shelling pecans w my grandma. watching court tv while she made breakfast. her trying and failing to teach me how to swim.#it's not fair that I'm going to be the only person who remembers those things. and that to some degree I already am.
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