#did you miss my heartbreaking poems?

[nicolegmattos]

Good at Failing

People have a way with words, don’t they?

Take “useless” as an example.

“Use-less”. Without use. Without purpose.

Useless.

That’s exactly how I’m feeling right now.

I failed.

I’ve been failing since before the Beginning.

I failed as an Angel. I failed as a Demon.

I failed at what was really important when it mattered the most.

And now I lost the only person I ever dared to care about.

My partner. My friend. My love.

Nothing makes sense anymore.

Not since he left me.

Not since Heaven took him away from me. Just like it has been doing my entire existence.

Always taking what I love the most.

Maybe I should stop trying.

Maybe I should just leave it like that.

Maybe I should try to keep him there instead. Far away from me.

Then, hopefully, maybe I would fail at that too.

Art by @lindele12

[emptyloneless]

[amalgamationink]

[diaryofasadfaerie]

One Day It’ll Be Alright

If you can hear me, please paint a smiley face in the clouds above,

or paint the skies pink and red with love

I still can hear your laugh echo in my head

but I wish you were really here instead

breathing without you feels like dread

i hold myself as I toss and weep in bed

the deafening silence fills the room

and all I can ever think about is you

how I’ll never see you again

it tears deep inside of me and scars me within

I try to write to you with paper and pen

but there’s too much to say to you

the ink just spills out, I can never win

how could you ever think the world could be a better place without you

and these memories can never be erased

I hold them close because it’s all I have left of you now

all I want to do is scream and shout

you’ve left a hole inside of me and there’s no way out

my sweet boy, I would have done anything to take your pain

and I know with mine, you’d do the same

all I do is sit here and call out your name

my body collapses into itself every night

just trying to tell myself one day it’ll be alright

-a.g.

[littlemisspascal]

Today marks the 3rd anniversary of my fic The Infinity Cube. I can still remember posting the first chapter, hoping at least one person out there liked it, and I can still remember how it felt to reach the end, a feat that wouldn't have been possible without the support of so many kind souls 💗 I wanted to make something for the occasion and having seen so many amazing web weavings out there, I thought I'd give it my best shot 😊

THE INFINITY CUBE: a journey home

Shades of Earth by Beth Revis // I Choose You by Adam Melchor // When Did It Happen? by Mary Oliver // First Love by Jennifer Franklin // The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde // The Bronze Horseman by Paullina Simons // The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman // 10 a.m Is When You Come To Me by Louise Bourgeois // Maybe In Another Universe, I Deserve You by Gaby Dunn // Maybe When the Time is Right You Will Find Me Again - K. Tolnoe // We Were Missing the Present by Mahmoud Darwish // Persona (1966) // Matched by Ally Condie // In the Pines by Alice Notley // It Wasn't Love // La Pointe Courte (1955) // "My better half" by Pablo J. Davis // The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller // Bioshock Infinite // Calling a Wolf a Wolf by Kaveh Akbar // Oh It Was Meant to Be - Kate McGahan // Pillow Thoughts by Courtney Peppernell // If My Body Could Speak by Blythe Baird // Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens // Unending Love by Rabindranath Tagore // The Blinding Star by Blanca Varela // Wild Spirit, Soft Heart by Butterflies Rising // Finding You by Kesha // Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want by The Smiths // Web weaving about the untold story in you // "Feel like making a deal with the devil?" // A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara // Reborn: Journals ad Notebooks by Susan Sontag // I love you like a rotten dog // Sax Rohmer #1 by The Mountain Goats // The Bubble (2022) // Rabbit Hole (2010) // Beginning with O by Olga Broumas // How many times can the same thing break your heart? // War of the Foxes by Richard Siken // On Death in Heartbreak // Lonely Day by System of A Down // This Road (The Mirror is a Trap) by Poe // Memory for Forgetfulness by Mahmoud Darwish // "Do you think we're soulmates in another universe?" // Radio Silence by Alice Oseman // "In one timeline we kiss" - Elizabeth Hewer // Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed // Almond Blossoms and Beyond by Mahmoud Darwish // X // The Collected Poems of Alvaro de Campos by Fernando Pessoa // Excerpt from Moony Moonless Sky's 'I am an observer, but not by choice' // @/lookoflove // Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg // "Do you know what it's like to live somewhere that loves you back?" - Danez Smith // Home by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros // The Chaos of Stars by Kiersten White // Home // You and Me

All Pedro Photos - Pinterest // Reader in my story is physically a blank slate, I just really like the photo of Javi + Gabriela touching foreheads

[songbird-of-eden]

A CLUE?! The Missing Death Theory

Good Omens S2 SPOILERS below!!!

Okay, it has been the nocturnal habit of mine over the last 3 days to suddenly dwell on the Good Omens finale and scrutinise every detail in a sleep-deprived thought soup.

And apparently, tonight, my last two remaining braincells fired up their little engines and decided to put something rather interesting together.

One thing that got me when I watched the finale was the book that Muriel was reading. "The Crow Road."

So I decided to give it a quick Google, and realised the opening line of the book is one that Gabriel, or Jim, stumbled across earlier in the season. It goes like this:

"It was the day my grandmother exploded. I sat in the crematorium, listening to my Uncle Hamish quietly snoring in harmony to Bach's Mass in B Minor, and I reflected that it always seemed to be death that drew me back to Gallanach."

Now, you may be thinking, okay, but what does this have to do with anything? And you would be right to be confused, but hear me out.

Death has a major, reoccurring influence in S2.

Yes, we have the obvious coffee shop "give me coffee or give me death" reference (this has a major point that I will get to a little later, but please, bear with me). But that is not the only one.

Throughout each episode, Death has been raised and eluded by numerous characters. In ep2, Jobe's family were saved by our ineffable duo. In ep3, we have the incident with the graverobber and stopping her from calling it a day. In ep4, we have the rise of the nazi zombies. In ep5, our unfortunate fellow from the ball gets thrown to the demons and appears to die, only to make a reappearance later on in ep6, albiet looking a little nibbled on.

And then there's the fact that miracles, as Crowley points out, are measured in "the power required to raise people from the dead."

Still with me? Okay good. Because its gonna get a little more crazy from here. Time to break out the funky tinfoil hats.

So, yes, many of the characters seemingly ellude death, right? Not a big point at first glance, considering the upbeat nature of the show... until you consider this.

Whilst in the coffee shop, the Metatron asks whether anyone ever chooses death instead of coffee. A weird line to be sure - perhaps an awkward statement of an angel unsure of how to interact with mortals. Totally plausible, right? Well, what if it was a test?

Nina claimed to remember everyone by what they order, and replied that no one has ever chosen death. I mean, I would hope so, but what if Death was no longer a thing that happened?

What if our devious Metatron wrote Death out of the Book of Life, considering that Death is a being instead of a simple concept as shown in S1 - and so the Metratron was asking as a test to gauge Nina's response. To figure out if his alteration had taken effect?

Okay, yes. It sounds a little wild, but if that is not the case, it does not mean that something is not going on with Death.

Going back to The Raven Road book, the plot follows a boy in pursuit of uncovering the mystery around his missing uncle. So perhaps, it is not so crazy after all to believe that something, or rather, someone is missing.

Which leads me to another missing creature.

Remember that heartbreaking line from Crowley? "You hear that? No nightingales?"

It was the dagger in many fan's hearts, but potentially held another meaning. Because in the poem: "Ode to a nightingale", the bird is used to represent, to an extent, death. As well as the concept of immortality.

Which means it's disappearance may be signalling a strange shift in the world.

Which brings me to my final point. We are in the home stretch now kiddos!

The second coming. The Metatron's grand plan.

In biblical text, it states that the Second Coming will be a sudden and unmistakable incident, like "a flash of lightning".

Now, where else did we see lightning? Hmmm. What about Crowley's enraged outburst that sealed poor Maggie and Nina in the coffee shop?

Which makes their line an episode or two later even more interesting...

Maggie: "Did it all start with the lightning?"

Crowley: "No, way before that."

Does this mean that events were starting to be influenced and set in motion way earlier as the Metatron began to tinker in the book?

We also have the name of S2 ep1 being called "The Arrival" - a name the Second Coming is sometimes referred to as, along with the text: "For the Lord himself, with a cry of command, with the archangel's call and with the sound of God's trumpet, will descend from heaven, and the dead in Christ will rise."

So, just take a moment to digest that.

An archangel's call. Well, we've had two of those - Gabriel calling on Aziraphale as well as Aziraphale being called to heaven. Then we have the trumpet that plays whenever Micheal and co descend from Heaven, a sound Aziraphale actually asks whether Maggie could hear.

Which leads to the final part: the dead in Christ will rise.

People are not dying as they should, be it from the influence of our ineffable duo, or perhaps, it is the Metatron's plan after all. A way to start the second coming.

Even the opening credits alludes to this with Crowley and Aziraphale seemingly leading a crowd of humans out of hell and through various time periods, but perhaps I really am getting ahead of myself.

So yep. Something is very up with Death.

Anyway. I need to be up in 5 hours for work. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk before the incoherent babbling begins.

[mackmp3]

dashboard simulator

mutual 1 : *picture of neil young with like seven pixels in it* oughh i can't even say she should have been at the club cos so much of her personality was not wanting to be at the club. she should have been at the farm

mutual 2 : *heartbreaking good omens meta* lol love these guys *ms paint gore meme* my baby angel <3 *gif set of The Kiss* they're so cute

mutual 3 : hey does anyone listen to throbbing grobbing nine inch ninch skinny pinny.

mutual 4 : *picture of gerard way's legs taken from very far away* WIFE she's co cute i need her

mutual 5 : *ask box flirting with mutual 4*

mutual 6 : lol here's some art i did in class today *stunningly realistic portrait drawn on the corner of a math test* *17 notes*

mutual 7 : *picture of bloody ribcage* she's like an angel. to me

mutual 2 : *twenty reblogs of good omens fanart in like four minutes*

mutual 8 : AHHHHH i can't beLEIVE i have to go talk to my professor AGAIN i just want to do my thesis on how this one french canadian folksong is actually highly representative of early 20th century morality struggles 😭😭😭 but NOOO apparently i need EVIDNECE TO BACK THAT UP

mutual 9 : haha guys is it normal to have like. random pain in all your joints. everyone has that right haha. *mutual 5 & like three other people shouting at them to see a doctor in the reblogs*

mutual 6 : oh yeah i wrote this poem ^-^ *most heartbreaking beautiful thing you've ever read.* *9 notes*

mutual 10 : rpf is moral & everyone should do it. anyways *picture of bob dylan* estrogen would have saved her

mutual 11 : david tennant tboy swag *12k notes*

mutual 4 : GERARDDDDDDDD

mutual 12 : * bunch of reblog of depeche mode pictures* oh yeah i remember seeing that concert in '87. love dave gahan <33

mutual 13 : *screenshot of david tennant* i thikn i hauve. covid

mutual 14 : *highly specific post* oh yeah reminds me of when i was an extra in an indie horror film my friend was making that was fun

mutual 4 : i miss my wifr gerard

mutual 7 : *saw bathroom scene gifset* *carrie covered in blood gifset* i nEED THISSSSS. want to be SOaKed in bLOOD. someone stab me i mean kiss me

mutual 1 : do you think csny ever had synced periods

mutual 4 : where are you gerard :(

mutual 15 : hey has anyone ever heard this song?? it's so good one of my favourites atm *link to a live bootleg of an unrelased song by a goth band no one else has heard of*

mutual 4 : gerar.d way

[harlowhockeystick]

i present to you, straight from the tortured poets department...poetic prompts written by the chairman herself.

⎯ send in any one of these poetic prompts, no more than two at a time please, and i will give you a gut wrenching, heart breaking, life giving, fresh air breathing blurb...just as the chairman intended.

sincerely, writer for the tortured poets department anthology specialist

fornight - "i love you, it's ruining my life"

the tortured poets department - "sometimes i wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me"

my boy only breaks his favorite toys - "he was my best friend"

down bad - "fuck it, i was in love"

so long, london - "you'll find someone"

but daddy i love him - "me and my wild boy, and all this wild joy"

fresh out the slammer - "i will never lose my baby again"

florida!!! - "love left me like this and i don't want to exist"

guilty as sin? - "without ever touching his skin, how can i be guilty as sin?"

who's afraid of little old me? - "so tell me everything is not about me"

i can fix him (no really i can) - "trust me, i can handle a dangerous man"

loml - "you said i'm the love of your life, about a million times"

i can do it with a broken heart - "you gotta fake it til you make it"

the smallest man who ever lived - "i don't miss what we had"

the alchemy - "he just comes running over to me"

clara bow - "you're the real thing"

the black dog - "i don't understand how you don't miss me"

imgonnagetyouback - "i can tell when someone wants me"

the albatross - "i'd visit in your dreams"

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus - "if you want to break my cold heart, say you loved me"

how did it end? - "but i still don't know, how did it end?"

so high school - "you knew what you wanted, and boy you got her"

i hate it here - "i'm bitter, but i swear i'm fine"

thanK you aIMee - "i can't forgive the way you made me feel"

i look in people's windows - "does it feel alright not to know me?"

the prophecy - "i'm so afraid i sealed my fate"

cassandra - "that's where i was when i lost it all"

peter - "i thought it was just goodbye for now"

the bolter - "oh, we must stop meeting like this"

robin - "you'll learn to bounce back"

the manuscript - "i'm not a donor, but i'd give you my heart if you needed it"

p.s. you can find in my directory, the list roster of different men i'll write poems for. please refer to that only, if you would. here is the link <3 oh, and send your requests here. you may also request from my au list, which is found here. that's all for now. see you when it's time to write about heartbreaking princes and screaming from tall towers.

⎯ j

[vigilanteashit]

Questions For A Coward

That kiss on the forehead,

what did it mean?

All of those confessions,

were they an avoidance of this one?

You say you made a mistake,

was it me or just the timing?

Maybe we were always something,

why didn’t you consider it was different in my head?

I’m not capable of those feelings,

if you knew me so well how couldn’t you see?

You heartbreak soaking my chest,

so who the hell are you to apologize?

I really thought it was you and I till the end,

how don’t you miss this friendship?

You saw me as potential, since you have none,

when did I start looking past it?

I saw your photos with your new friends,

where were they when you called for me?

You block me but I was “always the problem,”

can you explain that to me?

Keep telling me how to improve my writing,

do you really think that poem was romantic?

[andichoseyou]

THE ERAS TOUR ASK GAME!

💗Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince: it's been a long time coming... what was your opinion on the Lover album when it first came out, and what are your opinions on it now?

💗Cruel Summer: fever dream high... can you remember the best or worst summer of your life? if yes, can you explain why it was the best/worst?

💗The Man: i'm so sick of running as fast as i can... can you name some songs, movies, poems, etc that make you feel powerful? like you could do anything?

💗You Need To Calm Down: we've all got crowns... name 5 female artists (besides Taylor!) that you love!

💗Lover: can i go where you go... what are, in your opinion, the most romantic songs of all time?

💗The Archer: you could stay... at the end of the day, who do you choose? who is your person? your other half?

💗THE LOVER ERA: if you could add one Lover song to the setlist, which one would it be?

🌟Fearless: i don't know how it gets better than this... what was something that you were afraid to do, but did anyway? how did doing that make you feel?

🌟You Belong With Me: been here all along... what are your go-to karaoke songs?

🌟Love Story: we were both young when i first saw you... what were your favorite books/fairytales when you were younger?

🌟THE FEARLESS ERA: if you could add one Fearless song to the setlist, which one would it be?

🍂'Tis The Damn Season: it always leads to you and my hometown... what is your favorite spot in the town you grew up in? was it a restaurant? your childhood friend's house? the school you went to? someplace else?

🍂Willow: i come back stronger than a 90s trend... favorite 90s song?

🍂Marjorie: you're alive in my head... if you could have dinner with one person, dead or alive, who would it be?

🍂Champagne Problems: i dropped your hand while dancing... what was the last movie/show that made you cry?

🍂Tolerate It: tell me i've got it wrong somehow... rank every taylor swift track 5!

🍂THE EVERMORE ERA: if you could add one Evermore song to the setlist, which one would it be?

♟️...Ready For It?: in the middle of the night... what is the last dream that you can remember? what was it about?

♟️Delicate: isn't it?... what is your favorite taylor swift "question" lyric? (ex: "can i go where you go?" or "remember when you hit the brakes too soon?")

♟️Don't Blame Me: oh lord save me... all time favorite live taylor performance?

♟️Look What You Made Me Do: the old taylor can't come to the phone... what are your top 5 favorite taylor swift music videos?

♟️THE REPUTATION ERA: if you could add one Reputation song to the setlist, which one would it be?

💟Enchanted: this night is sparkling... favorite dress that taylor has worn? it can be on stage, on the red carpet, or just out and about... but it must be a dress!

💟Long Live: we will be remembered... what is your favorite Taylor related memory?

💟THE SPEAK NOW ERA: if you could add one Speak Now song to the setlist, which one would it be?

🧣22: it feels like one of those nights... when is your birthday? how old are you turning? what is something you want to do for it? do you have any birthday traditions?

🧣We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together: like, ever... best way to get over a break up? (romantic or platonic)

🧣I Knew You Were Trouble: so shame on me now... name 5 songs to scream-sing in the car with the windows down

🧣All Too Well (Ten Minute Version): i know it's long gone... what song(s) by taylor would you want a ten minute version of?

🧣THE RED ERA: if you could add one Red song to the setlist, which one would it be?

☕️The 1: i guess you never know... do you prefer The 1 or Invisible String?

☕️Betty: i know i miss you... what taylor swift song do you feel like she wrote just for you? a song that you relate to so much that it feels like she got inside your brain?

☕️The Last Great American Dynasty: 50 years is a long time... if you could write an essay/book/song/etc about any historical figure, who would you choose and why?

☕️August: you were never mine... favorite month of the year? why is it your favorite?

☕️Illicit Affairs: don't call me kid, don't call me baby... top 3 favorite taylor swift bridges?

☕️My Tears Ricochet: why are you at the wake... what are your go-to songs for when you need a good cry? (doesn't just have to be taylor songs!)

☕️Cardigan: i knew you... what is your favorite piece of clothing that you own?

☕️THE FOLKLORE ERA: if you could add one Folklore song to the setlist, which one would it be?

🦋Style: take me home... if you could ask taylor to cover one song, which song would you choose?

🦋Blank Space: if the high was worth the pain... what was the first taylor song you ever heard?

🦋Shake It Off: it's gonna be alright... list ten things that make you happy!!!

🦋Wildest Dreams: i bet these memories follow you around... would you consider yourself an optimist or a pessimist?

🦋Bad Blood: blood runs cold... all time favorite taylor collab? who do you want to see her collab with next?

🦋THE 1989 ERA: if you could add one 1989 song to the setlist, which one would it be?

🍀Surprise Songs: what are your two dream surprise songs that you want to see live?

🌌Lavender Haze: i just need this love spiral... what is the funniest/stupidest rumor about taylor swift that you have seen/heard?

🌌Anti-Hero: too big to hang out... are you a sexy baby or a monster on the hill?

🌌Midnight Rain: all of me changed... do you prefer sunshine or the rain?

🌌Vigilante Shit: don't get sad, get even... post your favorite taylor pictures from the eras tour!!

🌌Bejeweled: a diamond's gotta shine... out of the 4 music videos from midnights that we have, which one is your favorite? which one is your least favorite?

🌌Mastermind: none of it was accidental... what is your favorite "big word" that taylor has used in a song? (ex: Machiavellian, incandescent)

🌌Karma: sweet like honey... karma is cat for taylor, but what is karma to you?

🌌THE MIDNIGHTS ERA: if you could add one Midnights song to the setlist, which one would it be?

[bullet-clubs-bitch]

Sixhundred and sixty six

A poem I wrote today on my 666th day of sobriety

TW: mentions of drugs, abuse SH etc

Today marks my Sixhundred and sixty six days day of sobriety. Sixhundred and sixty six days ago I decided to make a change. A change that would save my life.

In those sixhundred and sixty six days I have been able to see just who you truly are.

My mind was scrambled, I had been brainwashed by you. I believed you loved me and I truly loved you back. I want to know when you fell out of love? Why is it that you no longer loved me when I was clean.

For years you had taken advantage of me because I was unwell. You held me close as you kissed my scars, telling me that you would never hurt me but when in reality you would cause me the greatest heartbreak. You left me no choice, I hated who you had become. I handed you divorce papers and wondered if I was doing the right thing. Was I really willing to throw 10 years of marrage down the drain?

On my six-hundred and sixty sixth day of sobriety I see you only liked me because I was a mentaly unstable little girl, 12 years younger than you. When I looked at you I saw security, I felt safe. Only 21 and fresh out of the psych ward when I fell into your arms, now I am a 33 year old woman who wonders if I wasted my life on a man who never truly loved me, only likeing the idea of me.

Dispite us being divorced for some time now I can't seem to get you out of my head. You won't leave me alone, claiming I need you and I do need you. I miss you, I miss your touch, I miss the way you would make me feel but you can never know that.

Now I sit here admiring the fresh wound on my wrist, a wound you promised you would never cause yet you did.

On my sixhundreth and sixthy sixth day of sobrety instaid of poping pills in order to forget you I take a walk in the forest. I let the rain fall on my skin as I let myself forget about you.

As much as I try to forget you I'll never forget you. You will haunt my dreams for eternity. Right when I'm over you, you spawn back into my life. You can never admit you are wrong. Instaid you go out and paint yourself as innocent when I was the true victum of your crimes.

On my sixhundreth and sixty sixth day of sobriety I wonder what would happen if I never got clean. Would I still be with you? Would you still love me? Would I finnaly OD and rideoff into the sunset?

I'll never know the awnser to that question but I must know did any part of you truly love me or did you just like the idea of me.

On my six hundredth and sixty sixth day of sobriety I feel free. I feel like I can do anything, even leave you.

[dearreader]

hello fellow members of the tortured poets department.

i would like to enter into evidence the last of the standard tracks for the album with clara bow.

previous days:

fortnight; THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT; my boy only breaks his favorite toys; down bad; so long, london; but daddy i love him; fresh out the slammer+florida!!!; guilty as sin?; who’s afraid of little old me?; i can fix him (no really i can); loml+chloe et al. (part 0.5); i can do it with a broken heart; the smallest man who ever lived, the alchemy

this song is so wonderful. it’s a song that discusses fame and the medias obsession with the “it girl” and i think will hopefully start a larger conversation around the medias consumption of celebrities.

i also do love how stevie nicks does the opening poem to the album, and dedicates it for both her and taylor about a shared experience they have, then as the song progresses we learn that nicks was one of the songs povs. it makes me wonder if this was something taylor drew the connection of between bow and nicks herself or if this was an actual conversation she experienced at some point. that a producer said she looked like clara bow, the next it girl, and we follow her story.

because recently everyone has talked about how taylor looks like nicks during the folklore set, hell i even made jokes about how she was daisy jones. and we know the second verse is taylor’s experience and how she aquired her crown and how she’s now trapped here.

it feels very raw and emotional with lines like “did you know all your life you’d be picked like a rose?” saying that they’d be chosen out of every flower in the garden but that would actually kill them. and that there were plenty more girls that came before all of them but these three have stood out amongst the rest and are still in conversations today?

probably the most heartbreaking part is that it ends with taylor setting up the next it girl. saying she looks like her and the cycle will repeat. i see a lot of people missing this point and say “oh that’s about sabrina/gracie/olivia” and so on. when the point is that it isn’t a good thing they’ll be another big name. there will be one day someone who is bigger than taylor and will inspire new waves of hate and love and support who the world will watch break or rise above it. saying these girls are the next taylor swift is setting them up for what the three ladies before endured. it’s not something we should want for them.

but even though we know this the media will still find the next girl and we’ll all watch this unfold again. which is the horrifying part. that some other girl will endure all that and more than taylor or stevie or clara. none of them should’ve gone through that and yet they did and it’ll continue on.

the futures bright, dazzling…

[always-coffee]

Show Me Your Fucking Heart

Note: This is my newsletter for this week, which I decided to share here, too. If you'd like to subscribed, it's free! (https://buttondown.com/alwayscoffee)

The other day, I wrote this:

Life’s short.

We are all often aching in one way or another.

Send the text. Share the photo. Make a gesture.

Love without hesitation or reservation or regret. Care without holding back.

Pet a dog. Walk barefoot through grass. Make a date. Take a chance. Kiss someone who thinks you hung the moon.

I believe this, 100%.

Showing care is, in my estimation, easy. Give someone a (sincere) compliment. (“I love that color shirt on you!” “You look pretty/handsome!” “I love your brain.”) I have never given an insincere compliment in my life, and I give them all the time. I am unfailingly, sometimes ridiculously, sincere.

Let someone know you’re thinking of them. How? Take two seconds and text them. “Thinking of you — hope your day is good.” Share a silly selfie or a pet photo or a meme! These little things can turn any day around, truly.

Call them. I’m weirdly less good at initiating phone calls, but if you call me and I care, I will pick up the phone. (Have I told you to call me at any point? Congrats, I care.) On tiring drives, I will sit on the phone with a friend, either listening or nattering away. If you need me, I’m there.

Send snail mail! Send a surprise prezzie!

Whenever I get a text from someone I care about, I smile. I know this makes me a dork, but I’m okay with that. I love being thought of. It’s easy to forget, sometimes, that we matter. Or how much. Or to who. These little things are bright constellations, small joys, life rafts.

For me, too, making solid plans is the antidote to a particular heartbreak. When someone is the opposite of reliable, it can make you feel small. There were things in the past that I tolerated and no longer do. But those things left a mark, too. We all have sensitive spots, things that ache when the world shifts a little sideways, like a bad knee in the rain. For me, it’s a solid yes or nothing. I’m exuberant and never go after anything or anyone I don’t fully want. Life’s too short for tepid, and I’ve got better ways to spend my time.

The reverse is also true. Give me a sincere yes and plans. This is the roadmap to my heart. It’s not a difficult path to follow, if you’re paying attention. And chances are, I’ll try to show you, even if I’m shy about it. I appreciate sincerity and certainty. No halfway, no half-measures. Forget the pretty and the polite. Show me your guts, the messy bits, the honest things. And if you say something, mean it—with more than just your mouth.

Little gestures matter. Show up for the people who show up for you. Don’t worry if it’s too much or silly or anything like that. Follow your damn heart, and the rest will sort itself out.

Did you miss my new poem at The Deadlands? You’re in luck. You can read it here: https://thedeadlands.com/issue-35/the-high-priestess/.

[tigerlilycorinne]

Is It Bad If My Gums Bleed When I Floss? Review:

10/10!! Or: 5 stars out of 5!

(Yes, it is bad if your gums bleed when you floss.)

This poetry collection is utterly stunning. It gathers together so many ideas that I love to see written about (including but not limited to: the entanglement of love, desire, pain, grief, trauma and healing, and the tragedy of memory and lost youth) into one incredible, cohesive, and connected experience. It follows a dental student, Netty, through her life, from childhood crushes and naivete to sexual desire and sexual trauma, to a beautiful point even with this pain with the love of her life. It is a breathtaking experience, the kind of work you have to be curled up with, at a time and place where it’s possible for you to put it down and close your eyes and breathe deeply before you keep reading. It made me cry multiple times, at this intersection between recognition, tragedy, and joy. I’m happy for Netty and heartbroken for her and everything in between. These poems portray Netty’s humanity in such an intimate, honest, and internal way.

As someone who doesn’t read poetry that often, I was absolutely delighted to understand the narrative that runs through each poem: it is understandable, never confusing, and never so on the nose that it feels like spoon feeding. It gives so much meaning without getting tangled in cross-metaphor, it paints vivid emotion without becoming melodramatic, it draws striking images without getting stuck in descriptive tangent, and it is heartbreakingly earnest without ever crossing into cliche. Behind each pause, space, repeated phrase, and bolded letter is a careful intent—Blue is an artist creating the most authentic and meaningful art-experience with deliberation and rhythm; someone who knows how to best communicate experience in a way that’s both receivable and gut wrenching. Each poem feels essential to the work as a whole; the collection is infinitely more than the sum of its parts because each poem is so deeply interconnected with each other poem: Netty wouldn’t be the same without every single entry.

It is about so many things—exploration of the development of queer desire and comp-het, the way a trauma follows you and the strength it takes to live and love even if it cannot leave you, and, of course, teeth—but most of all it feels like a comprehensively tragic and hopeful collection about the heartbreaking process of growing up. It is steeped in grief for Netty herself. For the Netty before she learned the bad things of the world. It is full of sadness and still recognizes that everyone moves through this loss of innocence; everyone begins wishing their baby teeth meant something more to someone (“I guess I just wanted it to mean more to you / than it did.” (“2004”)) and ends up aware of the darker ideas surrounding keeping a child’s teeth (“I think I get it—what kind of / person / keeps a child’s teeth?” (“Daddy”)). Everyone makes mistakes, or gets taken advantage of, and finds a way to blame themselves, and everyone mourns and misses who they were before the pain. Ultimately, this poetry collection feels to me like an extensive, difficult, beautiful journey to find who Netty is not outside or minus her sadness and her self-grief, but who she is with it. It’s about finding love that doesn’t evoke gore and destruction.

Though it’s difficult to pick favorite poems in a collection that feels as if each poem is most valuable next to each other poem in the collection, I’d have to pick “Career Day,” “Adolescence,” “Anthropophagus,” “Apostrophe,” “Sticky,” “Butterbugs” “Coffee Stains,” and “Things That Don’t Mean Anything At All” (it should say something that I had to list THIS MANY favorite poems). Each made me take a breath before I kept reading. I’m absolutely in love with every one of them.

I love this dearly and I will never forget it.

If you want to pre-order it, go here

If you want to read its goodreads listing go here

[cowboy-heart]

'my eden' - a poem about repression, heartbreak, trauma and childhood.

inspired by the quote: "nobody can stay in the garden of Eden...I wonder why" (James Baldwin, 'Giovanni's Room')

(ID in read more)

[ID: an original poem titled 'My Eden':

we all have our Edens, we either flee from it or chase it till our knees buckle and break. this Oedipal Eden, the innocence before the judgement, the rain on your skin before your clothes weigh you down, wet and heavy. often we chase but cannot catch, but how could we? you’re never a child twice, and nothing is the same as that first time. fingers in hair, lips on naval, sheets tangled in our feet like holy vines. even a lifetime would not be long enough to be here in this moment and then it passes anyway, and the sheets let you go. either you run from this shame this truth in you, bury your Eden in the cavity of the opposite sex, a corporate tie, a white picket fence, at the bottom of a bottle of whiskey. or you let it whisk you, seek the ecstasy of Eden, the first tender touch before the fall, eyes locked on the unattainable. but the sick truth is that the more you pursue, the more likely you are to miss spotting the upcoming potholes of the human condition. perhaps it was only your Eden they wanted, perhaps there was none left in them, or perhaps they saw the rotten fruit in your eyes and your starving tongue. after all, once your Eden is behind you, you can’t look back. you are not Orpheus, your Eurydice was never there for you to lose all over again, and we did not succumb to the viper. you took the fruit from it with both hands, all the knowledge to better appreciate what you have but then it’s gone gone in a single swallowed night. you’re your father’s son, alright. nobody can stay in the Garden of Eden, I wonder why. but really, who would want to? we can’t have back our Eden but, baby, we both have ribs to spare.

[cooking-with-hailstones]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks for the tags y'all! @mistresslrigtar @zeldadiarist @ladyhoneydee y'all go read their stuff it's so good

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Just 8, but it's about to increase! ;)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

58,767!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Legend of Zelda - All BOTW so far. I have some ideas for other Zelda games but they remain as ideas for now.

I also have a short Marvel story from my Steve/Bucky days circa 2013.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Shadows - An Epistolary Poem from Steve Rogers to Bucky Barnes

Is that a yes? (Zelink oneshot, NSFW)

That child of mine (my beloved longfic - I promise I'm coming back to this story soon! I miss it so much)

Silk and moonlight (with art from the magnificent @bahbahhh)

A chance encounter at the blood clinic (modern Zelink au that is very silly but you gotta be ok with blood donation)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Absolutely! I am a sucker for attention and I love talking about stories with people.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh DEFINITELY That child of mine. It's not even finished yet but there is some goooood angst coming, and I already know how it's going to end (I've actually written a good chunk of the finale already) and it's gonna be heartbreaking.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably A chance enounter? They get each other's number and the promise of a cute date.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope! I've only gotten some (requested) constructive criticism. I do have a fic planned that I anticipate being kinda contentious? But I'm already planning on limiting comments on that one lol.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yee! I've never written anything hardcore but I do really like writing and reading sexy scenes. I'm not much of a PWP kind of person (give me all of the emotional context) but I'm a big believer that sex and intimacy are fundamentally human experiences and can serve a story in so many beautiful and interesting ways.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I continue to chip away at my Deep Space 9/TotK crossover idea. It's gonna happen one day... maybe...

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, but maybe I'll try re-writing one of my stories in French sometime as a project.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No but I would LOVE to. The closest is when B and I collaborated and I wrote a story and she did the art.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Zelink, definitely. People whose souls are inextricably bound to one another and keep finding each other, lifetime after lifetime? That's the good shit right there. Obsessed.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

The story that walked into my head that made me start writing. It's a crazy ambitious story - Basic premise is that instead of the Sheikah technology being banned by the ancient king, the Sheikah themselves were banished from the lands of Hyrule. In the interim, Hyrule has been through many wars, dynasties and factions have all risen and fallen, and the bloodline of the Goddess has been forgotten. No one remembers any of the old stories. Zelda is a farm girl training to become a healer like her mother, Link is the son of the king who won the throne after lead a successful campaign against the Zora, and into all of this comes a young Impa, drawn back to Hyrule after thousands of years away, tormented by visions of calamity, a prophecy her people have passed down for millenia, knowing that Hylia would recall them to the land of their ancestors when the time was right. It's anti-monarchy, it's about climate change, it's about falling in love and renouncing power in order to fulfill a greater purpose, it's about knowing yourself, it's about righting ancestral wrongs, and I do not think it will ever be finished but I do like to come back to it every once in a while.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Coming up with interesting concepts!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Executing interesting concepts?

But in all seriousness, I know I still have a lot to learn as a writer. I'm overly descriptive, I have long run-on sentences, dialogue tags are my nemesis, and I struggle to write with real depth of character.

I do think I'm a good storyteller. I am just still honing those skills.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think it's great! I am obsessed with conlangs - I think they're so fucking cool. For writing in existing languages, as long as you're familiar with the language, or getting someone to look it over and not just running things through google translate, I think that's wonderful.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Captain America.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

That child of mine my beloved

This was really fun, thanks y'all!

Tagging @louwhose @newtsnaturethings @wanderingnightingale and @bahbahhh ! I'm sure y'all have already been tagged but add me to the pile of fans who want to hear more about your work :D