#did the cockatrice know it was something other

[canonkiller]

sorry for the bad luck

[dunmeshistash]

do you think falin being still part dragon after her second ressurection will affect her lifespan? actually, do you know the average red dragon lifespan?

and since she only fused with the dragon, where did the feathers come from?

I don't have any information about monster lifespan but I wouldn't think it would affect hers. Right now she's more human than dragon.

Reptiles aren't that far from birds, there's even the thing about some dinosaurs having feathers, actually in the evolutionary line you could even say they ARE reptiles.

Basically, if you think a crocodilians are reptiles birds are too because crocodilians are more closely related to birds than to a lizard

Here's a fun video about it if you wanna check

Falin, differently from the red dragon I assume, is endothermic so she probably developed the feathers to keep her human part warm. There's no need for a fusion with a harpy like some people assume.

Anyway here's another post about Chimera Falin

edit: oh yeah here's her description from the adventurer's bible

"Falin's upper body, a dragon's lower body, and wings." No mentions of other monsters and her wings have dragon like bits? Idk where they came from so I assume it was Thistle

The only one that has something closer to that is a cockatrice (which is classified as a serpent) but they have two fingers

Harpies are classified as "Aves" and they have normal bird wings

[stressed-and-queer]

Reasons why Merlins s1 ep4 "The Poisoned Chalice" is one of my favorite episodes (spoilers)

Gaius giving Merlin a fake proverb and Merlin calling him out on it

Merlin: "Someone has to keep the place running"

Gaius: 🤨

Merlin gets so excited he gets to go to the ball and it's adorable

The iconic outfit Arthur picks out for him

Gwen teasing him about the hat

Arthur looking back at Merlin clearly amused

The moment "Clara" confirms that Arthur's cup is poisoned he immediately leaves to save Arthur

Arthur keeps on trying to take a sip of the cup thinking the speech is over only to be interrupted again 🤣

Merlin: *Takes Arthur's cup*

Arthur: #annoyed

Uther asks Merlin for proof about his claims about the cup being poisoned and Arthur immediately goes into protective boyfriend mode

Arthur got so worried when Uther decided he would drink the wine

To the point that he tried to drink it himself knowing there was a possibility it was poisoned.

He was literally willing to do that for a servant he met 4 EP ago

Continuing with the point that they met 4 EP ago, they've known each other for like what, a month at the most and Merlin was already willing to die for Arthur

"but if it's poisoned, he'll die :('

Arthur was so fucking worried when Merlin drank the wine, you could tell just by the way he stood

*Dramatic music playing after Merlin drank the wine for a dramatic pause* Merlin: ...It's fine

The fact that the poison took a few moments to kick in. Idk it made it seem more realistic

You cannot convince me Arthur wasn't planning on somehow getting Merlin back from Bayard

When Merlin starts to choke, Arthur's face immediately drops. There's just a look of pure worry and dread

When Merlin falls to the ground unconscious, Arthur is there by his side in a matter of seconds

Arthur didn't even think twice when he picked Merlin up to carry him to Gaius's physician chambers

Arthur asking if Merlin was going to be ok

Gaius explains how to save Merlin, and how dangerous a journey it would be and Arthur is still willing to go to save Merlin

Gaius: A single drip of venom from the Cockatrice would mean certain death

Arthur: Sounds like fun!

Morgana has so much faith that Arthur would save Merlin she wasn't even worried

She relieved Gwen from her duties for the rest of the night so she could take care of Merlin!!!

"I can't stand by and watch him die!"

" Then don't watch"

The ways those lines are delivered are sooooo good omg

The way Arthur leans against the fireplace

Morgana is the one that convinced Arthur to defy his father and save Merlin

Merlin saying a spell in his sleep

And Gaius having to cover for him because Gwen was literally right there

Gaius immediately knows it's Nimue that poisoned the cup when he finds out the poison has been magically enhanced

"He's just a boy"

"Have you seen your son recently?"

Merlin literally moans Arthur's name in his sleep

"Art-Arthur, Arthur...ngh" -Merlin s1 ep4

Even when Merlin is literally dying and unconscious he's still trying to save Arthur

The whole act that Nimue puts on that Arthur falls for instantly

When Arthur flights the Cockatrice with his sword. I love all the fancy movements Bradley had to learn for the role of Arthur

Merlin moaning Arthur's name pt2

Merlin tries to warn Arthur that it's a trap in his sleep

"Who are you!"

"The last face you'll ever see"

Merlin moans Arthurs name pt3

THE BALL OF LIGHT MERLIN CREATES TO HELP ARTHUR

"Do not let Merlin die because of something I did"

Arthur is willing to be put into the stocks for a month if it means Merlin gets the antidote

Arthur reaching for the flower through the bars of his cell

The way they snuck the flower out of the cell

"That's disgusting, you would be ashamed of yourself you're old enough to be her grandfather"

"I'm proud of you Arthur, never forget that"

Arthur went to check in on Merlin to make sure he was doing ok

"Arthur....thank you"

"You too, get some rest"

[waterdeep-weavemoss]

Unwind

Oopsie :) thank you for the prompt @lanafofana enjoy this filth.

Taglist:

@netherese0rb @boufsy @owlseeyoulaterpal

@auroraesmeraldarose @aryancunin @amorgansgal

Tav curled up in Gale’s favourite reading chair, a complicated text in her lap. She wore a dressing gown, Gale’s own. She loved to decode the works he was reading, add her own notes in the margins, insights or just her opinion on the magic within. Everything glowed with golden light as the sun was setting, peaceful and quiet.

And then the door banged open. Looking up, she watched Gale storm in, shattering the quiet with a string of curses and a face like he was going to hex someone. ‘Bad day, my love?’ she asked lightly.

He growled. ‘Understatement. Would you believe I got blamed for a portal opening into Calimshan?’ He seethed, throwing his long coat over the back of a chair, undoing a shirt button or two and rolling up the sleeves. ‘I wasn’t even in the vicinity! I was trying to get a student to stop goading a cockatrice. Honestly, it’s a wonder an entire class wasn’t petrified. And myself, thank you very much.’

‘I think you’d look excellent as a statue,’ Tav said airily. ‘It’s the cheekbones.’

He narrowed his eyes. ‘Well, I’ll have you know I was in mortal danger, actually, and-’

‘And now you’re not,’ said Tav, bookmarking her page and rising languidly to her feet.

‘Have you been writing in my tomes again?’ He crossed his arms. It never bothered him, not really, but he liked to play at angry on occasion.

‘Sorry professor.’ She watched the change in his expression with a satisfied smirk. ‘Oh my, have I hit a nerve?’

In seconds, Tav’s back slammed against the door, Gale’s hands clutching her shoulders. ‘Oh, very much so.’ His voice was low and dangerous, but by the way his eyes glittered, he was only playing. ‘But what to do about it?’

‘Oh, I don’t know,’ she said, feigning nonchalance. Her heart was slamming in her chest and he could feel it, he was so close.

‘That’s my dressing gown.’

‘Oops.’ She raised her eyebrows cheekily. ‘Sorry.’

‘Take it off.’ A command. Fun.

‘I regret to inform you that it’s not possible,’ she said. ‘Since you have me pinned against the wall. Let me go and maybe we can negotiate.’ He growled in response, tearing the robe from her body and tossing it over his shoulder. ‘Oh my. You’re so hot, you know that?’

He smirked. ‘Show me.’ She made to move and he grabbed her throat, holding her against the wall. ‘Ah-ah. Ask nicely.’

‘I hate you,’ she said, giggling.

‘Mmm. Funny. I recall you begging me to touch you last night. Such mixed signals…’

‘Hmph.’ She grabbed his wrist. ‘You won’t win.’

His eyes gleamed at the challenge. ‘Really now?’ He dipped his head and tugged at her nipple with his teeth. She squealed.

‘Filth!’ she cried. ‘Dirty tactics will get you nowhere, Dekarios.’

‘Oh, but they’re so fun.’ He pouted sweetly, and she couldn’t resist leaning forward to draw his lower lip between her teeth, savouring how he whimpered into her mouth. Her hands made quick work of his clothes and he kicked them aside as he picked her up, swept aside all the work on his desk and set her down, pinning her wrists above her head. ‘History is written by the victors my love, not by those who played fair.’

‘Hey!’ Tav squirmed, trying to break his grip, and he only held tighter. His other hand trailed up her body and across her ribs, and… she laughed. It was a bright little giggle, causing Gale to pause, grinning  so mischievously that her eyes widened in understanding. ‘Oh no. No, no no, don’t you dare!’

‘Dare what?’ he nosed at her throat, his fingers ghosting over her ribs again. She laughed again, a forceful burst. ‘Is something funny, my darling little dove?’

‘No!’

He did it again. She laughed again, and he began to tickle in earnest. ‘It seems you lose.’

‘No!’ she gasped through a deranged cackle. ‘Gale, stop! Stop!’ She was helpless, unable to do nothing as his slender fingers danced over her skin.

He paused. ‘Hmm.’ His tongue pressed to the pulse in her neck and she shivered, whimpering. He sucked a bruise into her skin and guided himself to her heat with his free hand. ‘Say please.’

‘Please,’ she said. ‘Please, gods please.’

‘Please what?’ His tongue swept her lower lip.

‘Oh I hate you,’ she snarled, bucking her hips. ‘Fuck me you fool!’

He nipped sharply at her ear as he thrust inside her, groaning at the strangled moan she gave in response. ‘I’ve had a bad day,’ he said huskily. ‘Don’t expect me to be gentle.’

A thrill went through her. He was true to his word, burying a hand in her hair and pulling, the other scratching down her side and settling in a bruising grip on her hip. Her back arched off the desk as he snarled with effort, sending her insides to jelly. ‘Oh, fuck,’ she cried, yelping when he tightened his grip on her hair. ‘Fuck!’

‘You’re so fucking hot like this,’ he rasped into her neck. ‘Wanton and whimpering my name. Fuck. Gods I could live in moments like this for eternity. Just hearing you scream…’

She was sobbing with pleasure now and came, her nails scratching his shoulder blades as she clenched around him. He moaned and seemed to slow, making her sigh in relief. Instead, a new determination seemed to seize him, and he slammed into her so hard she feared the desk might give way beneath them, until finally he came deep inside her and leaned back to watch tears course down her cheeks, her skin flushed and sweaty. His hair clung to his forehead, his own mouth open and swollen pink as he panted in exertion. Finally, he held her to him, running his fingers gently through her hair. They were both drowsy, and Gale picked her up to settle in his favourite chair, tucked against one another as the sky darkened outside.

[fiberturkey89]

Memorial (Dragons Rising Skylor Drabble)

Skylor stared at what was Nya's birthday pictures for the what was about thirteenth time today. Her eyes focused where the dates had been scratched out by a red marker- understanding as to why the Master of Water had taken the images from her and furiously began to scribble out the dates on both.

They'd been too busy to really do it at the time- but it had been Nya's birthday when she became one with the sea;

April 30th.

They had done a proper one when the time came around. At first, Nya was reluctant, brushing it off and downplayjng it as just another day on the calendar. But then Ray, Maya, and herself had shown up, alongside Garmadon and Misako, too.

Now here Skylor was; May first, three, nearing four years later, and only able to celebrate Nya's birthday once before The Merge took all of her friends from her. Umber slept in his nest quietly as Skylor leaned on a palm, seated at her kitchen table. Her memory doing all the work for her to put all the details of the birthday back into place.

Her eyes slowly went around the picture, smiling softly at the memory of what had been a happy but melancholy day - Kai and her were seated together, his arm wrapped around her shoulder, making a face while she tipped his nose in frosting. But his eyes betrayed a mirth in them; one seen only when he was with family.

Nya was beside Kai, and she was laughing with tears in her eyes at his failed attempt to flirt with her - Pixal and Zane bringing more food to the table with the help of Ray and Maya, the two Smith elders bearing proud smiles. The Nindroids talked to each other about something she couldn't really remember, but it did involve Zane helping with a girls' night out later. She did remember that part.

Morro, Cole, and Lloyd were fighting over the last plate of empanadas, the largest of the team keeping them out of reach while the kther two were doubling down on him and trying to get it out of his grasp. Lloyd hanging off of his arm while Morro was climbing up his back to reach for the plate.

Misako, Wu, and Garmadon were conversing awkwardly in the background - still getting used to one another after some time of being separated, and Skylor vividly remembering the latter gifting Nya a potted flower. Something about how "She rose up once more,". If you asked her, it was just his vague way of saying happy birthday.

A frown tugged on her lips when she remembered that Jay and Nya had a recent falling out. She even still had the note from the Master of Lightning, sitting placidly beside the little pile of photos. In fact, that's why he was absent from the photos themselves. He had been the one to take them.

Grasping the edges, she played with the paper, somehow having survived The Merge, covered in little stickers. It was his signature in a way. "Hey, Skylor? I know we don't really talk much at all - could you come over? Me and Zane and Pix and I wanted to throw a birthday party for her, and you two are pretty close, so it would mean a lot if you came."

She pulled up another image from the pile, all their spirits playing a game in the courtyard - playing dodgeball, eventually the Ninja had joined in on the fun, a snap shot of herself and Nya and Morro being the last ones standing against Mistral and Torrent.

She sighed, leaning back in her chair and staring outside into the illuminated city- her hands feeling the hunger for elemental powers as she beat them back. Kai's fire still clung stubbornly, but its flame was dying out- and she was afraid of when it would run its course.

Three years, and not a single hide nor hair of the Ninja. Eveen her knocks at the Monsastery, plus the barks from the Cockatrice wouldn't get a single response.

She knew they were alive, they had to be- she just wish they would come home to her sooner.

[morgana96]

My Oddly Specific FFXIV Cooking Headcanons

Morgana (my WoL): A master culinarian and hardcore gourmet. Her father is also an accomplished chef from whom she gained most of her experience. People have literally had "Ratatouille moments" while eating her food.

Haurchefant: A decent cook who's been improving recently thanks to tips he got from Morgana. But honestly, his real specialty is beverages — he makes the best hot cocoa in Coerthas, as well as several other drinks and cocktails.

Alphinaud: A reformed rich kid™ who can't cook to save his life. He's quite embarrassed to have gone this long without knowing how to even make simple meals. But recently, he's started taking occasional lessons from Morgana in an attempt to improve.

Alisaie: Another reformed rich kid™ who can't cook to save her life. She's also very embarrassed about it and is now taking lessons with Morgana, but she's managed to turn it into a race with Alphinaud to see who's first to make something edible.

Thancred: Technically a better cook than Alphinaud and Alisaie. He mainly knows bare minimum recipes from growing up on Limsa's streets, and he's not very good at seasoning food. He actually got motivated to improve a little while taking care of Ryne.

Urianger: Actually alright at cooking, but his tastes can be EXTREMELY weird. He'll make a perfectly normal meal one day, but then the next day he'll make one of those unhinged recipes you'd find in a vintage 70's cookbook.

Moenbryda: Not the best chef in the realm, but way better than Thancred and the twins. If she practices a recipe enough, she'll eventually get the hang of it — much like when she taught herself how to make cockatrice meatballs for Urianger.

Y'shtola: Got banned from Matoya's kitchen as a child and hasn't been seen cooking since. She also refuses to elaborate on what exactly she did to get herself banned.

G'raha: Has specific dishes he's good at making, but is well aware that he can't bake for shit. Ask him for a sandwich and he'll make you one with just the right amount of each ingredient. Ask him for a cake or a batch of cookies and the kitchen's at risk of going up in flames.

Tataru: A very talented culinarian. She and Morgana love to make food together — especially baked goods and sweets to share with their friends and Scion colleagues.

Krile: Doesn't cook much, but she's not too bad at it. She's memorized a handful of good recipes that she used to enjoy with her grandfather and other Students of Baldesion.

Estinien: People who don't know him well jump to the conclusion that he can't cook at all. But he's actually quite competent, especially compared to several other Scions. He learned from childhood how to build a fire and cook over an open flame, and while his skills in the kitchen aren't perfect, he can follow a recipe and make something at least decent.

Ysayle: Thinks she's not a very good cook, but actually isn't that bad. She was genuinely surprised when her soup was complimented during the journey to speak with Hraesvelgr, and once she gets a new start with the Scions, she asks Morgana to help her recreate some recipes her family used to make before the Calamity.

[alittlepudge-neverhurtnobody]

kinktober #17

Gaining Gamer 🎮 / Dungeon 🏰 (both-ish!)

Delicious Dungeon: Channel Trailer

farcilleskitchen☑️

102,422 views · 1 year ago

Welcome to the dungeon — er, kitchen! We’re Falin and Marcille, and we’re on a mission to cook every dish featured in everyone’s favorite dungeon game. 

New videos every other Tuesday! 

43K likes

498 comments

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Delicious Dungeon: Boiled Mimic

farcilleskitchen☑️

23,232 views · 1 year ago

Starting off easy(ish) with a deceptively delicious dish from early on in the dungeon. Will it transform into something we can enjoy irl too? P.S. bonus points to everyone who commented on our trailer to yell about how cute Falin is. ISN’T SHE?!?!? P.P.S. NEGATIVE bonus points to everyone who commented to tell me that my elf ears are distracting. IT’S CALLED AN HOMAGE, PEOPLE! 

New videos every other Tuesday! 

Marcille’s Instagram: arcane_ambrosia

Falin’s Instagram: bugoutwithfalin

10.5K likes

344 comments

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Delicious Dungeon: Risotto with Graveyard Mushrooms and Orc Cheese

farcilleskitchen☑️

26,458 views · 11 months ago

We didn’t pick these mushrooms from a graveyard, but we did walk by one on our way to the farmer’s market so it still counts. And we couldn’t decide on what cheese was the most orc-like so we picked ORK(NEY) CHEDDAR. This preparation is a little different from normal risotto because it calls for short-grain rice instead of long-grain, but it’s still delicious!

New videos every other Tuesday! 

Marcille 📸: arcane_ambrosia

Falin 📸: bugoutwithfalin

13.9K likes

398 comments

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Delicious Dungeon: Griffin’s Egg Quiche

farcilleskitchen☑️

32,495 views · 11 months ago

Have you ever tried ostrich eggs?! Neither have we! It’s a first for everyone this week, including Falin’s brother Laios who’s lurking in the background. (Hi, Laios!) Thanks to Falin & Laios’s Uncle Senshi for the eggs from his farm!

New videos every other Tuesday! 

Marcille 📸: arcane_ambrosia

Falin 📸: bugoutwithfalin

Senshi’s website: http://www.prodigiousprovisions.com 

16K likes

344 comments

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Delicious Dungeon: Grilled Cockatrice

farcilleskitchen☑️

399,994 views · 10 months ago

Falin said I couldn’t make a joke in this video about how we’re doing meat this week because everyone in the comments wants Laios’s meat SO BAD so I’m making it here HAHA! He’s not on Instagram, sorry everyone. ANYWAY! Today we’re making grilled cockatrice. This made enough for a family of 5, but luckily, we have Laios, so it all got eaten!

New videos every other Tuesday! 

Marcille 📸: arcane_ambrosia

Falin 📸: bugoutwithfalin

Senshi’s website: http://www.prodigiousprovisions.com 

17.3K likes

403 comments

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Delicious Dungeon: Jack O’Lantern Potage with Sauteed Dryad Buds and Cheese

farcilleskitchen☑️

42,587 views · 10 months ago

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! The truly scary thing about this video was how much cheese Laios ate behind the scenes. (I know it’s not Halloween YET, but squash blossoms are still in season right now and you’ll need them for this. Besides, all of October is Halloween for some of us.) 

New videos every other Tuesday! 

Marcille 📸: arcane_ambrosia

Falin 📸: bugoutwithfalin

Senshi’s website: http://www.prodigiousprovisions.com  

18.2K likes

487 comments

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Delicious Dungeon: Soul Eggs Benedict

farcilleskitchen☑️

50,943 views · 9 months ago

Benedict is a great topic for this video because SOMEONE barely even left us a bite after we spent ALL AFTERNOON in a HOT KITCHEN making it, LAIOS. #traitor #eggsbenedictarnold Anyway, you can use any eggs you like for this! Ours are duck eggs from Uncle Senshi. We told him how much you guys love him and he was so happy!!

New videos every other Tuesday! 

Marcille 📸: arcane_ambrosia

Falin 📸: bugoutwithfalin

Senshi’s website: http://www.prodigiousprovisions.com 

24.9K likes

504 comments

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MUKBANG | Eggs benedict 

LaiosTheDevourer

1,094 views · 9 months ago

I’ve seen a lot of these recently so I thought I’d try one too! Eating lots of eggs benedict cooked in the style of the dungeon game. Food prepared by my sister and her girlfriend, go check out their channel at farcilleskitchen!

52 likes

14 comments

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Delicious Dungeon DOUBLE FEATURE: Tentacle Gnocchi AND Tentacles with Vinegar Dressing

farcilleskitchen☑️

58,928 views · 9 months ago

… listen, sometimes life gives you a LOT of tentacles, and you gotta use them up somehow. Thanks again to Uncle Senshi for the boatload of squid he procured for us this week, definitely legally! And thanks to Laios for eating more tentacles than either of us thought possible.

New videos every other Tuesday! 

Marcille 📸: arcane_ambrosia

Falin 📸: bugoutwithfalin

Senshi’s website: http://www.prodigiousprovisions.com 

28K likes

555 comments

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MUKBANG | Wings on a full stomach

LaiosTheDevourer

2,304 views · 9 months ago

Hey, this is kind of fun! Thanks for all the comments, they were very nice. Today I’m having wings because the place I like has a deal on Wednesdays. I was already pretty full because I had a lot of squid earlier (very good!) but who can say no to wings? By the end I could barely move, I was so stuffed, but it was worth it!

123 likes

19 comments

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Delicious Dungeon: Hippogriff Soup Dumplings

farcilleskitchen☑️

63,082 views · 8 months ago ago

This week, we get freaky with PORK FAT, which was … not fun for one of us. Thanks to Uncle Senshi for sourcing the chicken! Also, guest appearance by Laios, who got freaky with so many soup dumplings that he had to unbutton his pants. #achievementunlocked?

New videos every other Tuesday! 

Marcille 📸: arcane_ambrosia

Falin 📸: bugoutwithfalin

Senshi’s website: http://www.prodigiousprovisions.com 

31.7K likes

602 comments

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NOT a mukbang | So much soup

LaiosTheDevourer

2,976 views · 8 months ago

You guys are so nice!! Thanks so much for the support. You really liked my last video when I was really full, so here’s another for you. My sister and her girlfriend made soup dumplings and had a lot of extras, so they gave them to me! Every time I move I can hear my stomach slosh :/ How many do you think I ate?

Food made by farcilleskitchen!

273 likes

21 comments

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Delicious Dungeon: Nightmares Steamed in Sake

farcilleskitchen☑️

78,146 views · 8 months ago

This week, we venture into new territory for one of our party members (not saying who because it will be abundantly clear in the video) and make OYSTERS! Some of us were very excited because “oysters are like if slime was edible.” Believe it or not, that did not help sell one great adventurer on this dish. Cooking wine will work for this recipe if you don’t have sake, but sake is the most authentic! Luckily it’s pretty easy to find in your local Asian market. #hmartforever

New videos every other Tuesday! 

Marcille 📸: arcane_ambrosia

Falin 📸: bugoutwithfalin

Senshi’s website: http://www.prodigiousprovisions.com 

45.5K likes

723 comments

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MUKBANG | Oysters!!

LaiosTheDevourer

3,415 views · 8 months ago

Wow! Thanks so much for the comments on my last video. I really appreciate it! Today it’s oysters in sake for lunch, and my friend didn’t want hers so I got them instead! I hadn’t thought about how many oysters I could eat until now, but I guess the answer is a lot. 

Food made by farcilleskitchen!

312 likes

26 comments

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Delicious Dungeon: Hamburg Steak with Changeling Sauce

farcilleskitchen☑️

84,458 views · 7 months ago

No changelings were harmed in the making of this dish! Just mushrooms, we promise. Thanks to Uncle Senshi for providing the meat AND produce for this video! Everyone go sign up for his farm newsletter or we’ll hold our next video hostage. [EDIT: We will not hold the next video hostage. But it would be nice if you signed up for Uncle Senshi’s newsletter. He includes a lot of pictures of cows! — Falin]

New videos every other Tuesday! 

Marcille 📸: arcane_ambrosia

Falin 📸: bugoutwithfalin

Senshi’s website: http://www.prodigiousprovisions.com 

48.1K likes

992 comments

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MUKBANG | Steak with mushroom sauce

LaiosTheDevourer

3,728 views · 7 months ago

I think these videos are making me fat … it’s getting harder to button my pants. But I persevere! Food is very important to me and I could never disappoint my wonderful followers! Haha. Anyway, here’s a couple of big steaks with mushroom sauce. Delicious!

Food made by farcilleskitchen!

345 likes

31 comments

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Delicious Dungeon: Head-Chopping Rabbit Gently Prepared Chicken Curry

farcilleskitchen☑️

97,124 views · 7 months ago

Sorry, everyone … we chickened (rabbitted?) out. While you may know us as the tough-as-nails, take-no-shit dungeon adventurers we play on this channel, we have a soft spot for rabbits so we made a big substitution in this one and used chicken thighs instead. You can use white meat if you prefer, but we used dark. And you may enjoy a picture of Marcille with her pet rabbits as an apology for deviating from the recipe. (Apologies to chicken owners. We don’t have any experience with chickens as pets but we acknowledge that you are out there and we’re sorry. It’s okay if you skip this one on principle.)

New videos every other Tuesday! 

Marcille 📸: arcane_ambrosia

Falin 📸: bugoutwithfalin

Senshi’s website: http://www.prodigiousprovisions.com 

53K likes

1,123 comments

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MUKBANG with burping | LOTS of curry

LaiosTheDevourer

3,415 views · 7 months ago

I ate too much :( Everyone was very nice about my last video so I hope you’ll be nice about this too! Sorry for all the burps, I couldn’t help myself. The curry was just so good! A perfect mix of creamy and spicy, and expertly seasoned!

Food made by farcilleskitchen!

379 likes

37 comments

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Delicious Dungeon: Roast Basilisk

farcilleskitchen☑️

102,405 views · 6 months ago

WOOOO WE BROKE 100K!! Thank you so much, everyone!! This week we’re ROASTIN’! And I don’t want to see a single comment about spit-roasting in the comments so don’t even think about it. More topically, YES Falin and I built this fire pit in our backyard ourselves! It’s great! You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a hot girl haul rocks around! We grew all the herbs in our garden and, of course, the Jersey Giant meat is courtesy of Uncle Senshi.

New videos every other Tuesday! 

Marcille 📸: arcane_ambrosia

Falin 📸: bugoutwithfalin

Senshi’s website: http://www.prodigiousprovisions.com 

59.2K likes

1,456 comments

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MUKBANG and post-mukbang weigh-in | Roast basilisk

LaiosTheDevourer

3,627 views · 6 months ago

So a couple of videos ago, I said I thought I was getting fat from doing these videos … we’ll see if it’s true! I ate so much roast basilisk before getting on the scale that I’m sure it added a few pounds.

Food made by farcilleskitchen!

392 likes

40 comments

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Delicious Dungeon: Rolled Harpy Egg Omelette

farcilleskitchen☑️

106,393 views · 6 months ago

Rolled omelettes are HARD but we make the best of it! The duck eggs we used for this recipe are Uncle Senshi’s farm. It’s not part of the recipe in-game, but we also fry up some bacon from Uncle Senshi just for kicks. What are eggs without bacon?? Fun fact: Marcille practiced rolling omelettes about 250 times so she could make it for Falin on Valentine’s Day. IT WORKED.

New videos every other Tuesday! 

Marcille 📸: arcane_ambrosia

Falin 📸: bugoutwithfalin

Senshi’s website: http://www.prodigiousprovisions.com 

61.4K likes

1,562 comments

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PROGRESS VIDEO | Old pants

LaiosTheDevourer

4,158 views · 6 months ago

My pants don’t fit! But I’m going to try them on anyway. Why don’t more people talk about how much fun it is to gain weight? What’s better than eating lots of amazing food?! I think being fat is a good sign that you know how to enjoy all the delights that life has to offer. What do you guys think?

423 likes

48 comments

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Delicious Dungeon: Man-Eating Plant Tart

farcilleskitchen☑️

108,837 views · 5 months ago

We’re going vegetarian this week because if I have to read one more comment about you guys begging to see more of Laios’s tHiCk CuT bAcOn I’m going to SCREAM! We used vegetable broth and agar-agar instead of chicken broth and gelatin for this dish so it’s truly vegetarian, but non-veggie options would also work fine. Also, we mention this in the video but I’ll say it again: this is a SAVORY tart! If it’s not sweet you’re doing it right!

New videos every other Tuesday! 

Marcille 📸: arcane_ambrosia

Falin 📸: bugoutwithfalin

Senshi’s website: http://www.prodigiousprovisions.com 

66.2K likes

1,684 comments

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MUKBANG | Bacon

LaiosTheDevourer

4,284 views · 5 months ago

Today I ate soooo much bacon. My sister was going to use it in a recipe, but then she and her girlfriend decided to make something else so they let me have it! I’m not as good at cooking but I do know how to fry bacon! This is the good stuff from a local farm run by my uncle and it made me feel so heavy when I was done. Oh man! Also, I wore a shirt I thought you guys would like — you can really see my belly now!

Food given by farcilleskitchen, made by me!

447 likes

52 comments

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Delicious Dungeon: Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom Omelette

farcilleskitchen☑️

112,458 views · 5 months ago

Back to omelettes this week because Uncle Senshi’s farm is just BOOMING with eggs. AND we’ll teach you the best way to eat mushrooms and you will never want to go back. P.S. if one more person makes a joke about how the man they want to eat is Laios I will figure out how to manually unsubscribe them from this channel

New videos every other Tuesday! 

Marcille 📸: arcane_ambrosia

Falin 📸: bugoutwithfalin

Senshi’s website: http://www.prodigiousprovisions.com 

73.8K likes

1,749 comments

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MUKBANG | Eggs

LaiosTheDevourer

4,462 views · 5 months ago

I should have saved some bacon from last week’s video! Today I decided to see how many deviled eggs I could eat and the answer is … well, the answer is always a lot! The more of these I do, the more I can eat :) And I think I’m starting to look it … 

Food given by farcilleskitchen, made by me!

460 likes

59 comments

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Delicious Dungeon: Sky Fish and Chips

farcilleskitchen☑️

115,343 views · 4 months ago

Your favorite adventurers bravely take on a new challenge: DEEP FRYING!! The goggles I’m wearing are excellent safety gear and not at all overkill. You should not approach deep frying with the devil-may-care attitude of a certain pair of Touden siblings. HOT OIL IS TO BE RESPECTED AND FEARED. P.S. Sorry about Laios’s GIANT BELCH in the background. He managed to do it at the single most difficult place to cut out or dub over so it’s still there. #yolo or whatever the youth are saying

New videos every other Tuesday! 

Marcille 📸: arcane_ambrosia

Falin 📸: bugoutwithfalin

Senshi’s website: http://www.prodigiousprovisions.com 

75.9 likes

1,978 comments

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NOT a mukbang | Way too much fried food and burps

LaiosTheDevourer

4,723 views · 4 months ago

I ate way too much fish and chips and my stomach hurts :( I had to put on my loosest pants and shirt because I felt so bloated. And I can’t stop burping … I wish I could say this would teach me a lesson but I know I’ll do it again!

Food made by farcilleskitchen!

486 likes

64 comments

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Delicious Dungeon: Mandrake Kakiage and Giant Bat Tempura

farcilleskitchen☑️

121,938 views · 4 months ago

In this house, we ♥️ tempura. You can use any meat in this recipe! We used duck since Uncle Senshi had some on hand, but chicken, pork, or turkey would work just as well. The moaning you hear in the background is the sound of a man who truly, madly, deeply believed he could eat five gigantic helpings of tempura and was sadly defeated. 

New videos every other Tuesday! 

Marcille 📸: arcane_ambrosia

Falin 📸: bugoutwithfalin

Senshi’s website: http://www.prodigiousprovisions.com 

79.3 likes

2,338 comments

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NOT a mukbang | Tempura aftermath and more burps

LaiosTheDevourer

4,901 views · 4 months ago

Aaaand … I did it again. We made tempura and I ate sooo much and now I feel so stuffed. My stomach hurts too much to move and all I can do is rub it and try to get the air out. No wonder my new pants don’t fit either …

Food made by farcilleskitchen!

503 likes

76 comments

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Delicious Dungeon: Kelpie Oil Soap

farcilleskitchen☑️

125,390 views · 3 months ago

APRIL FOOL!! Today’s recipe is NOT EDIBLE! DO NOT EAT IT! DON’T SAY WE DIDN’T WARN YOU!! You may not know this, but in her spare time Falin is an accomplished soap-maker! Today she’ll teach us how to make soap by hand with tallow from none other than Uncle Senshi. And then all of you guys in the comments can wash your mouths out from all the filthy things you say about Laios down there!

New videos every other Tuesday! 

Marcille 📸: arcane_ambrosia

Falin 📸: bugoutwithfalin

Senshi’s website: http://www.prodigiousprovisions.com  

83.5K likes

2,932 comments

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PROGRESS VIDEO | Weighing myself again

LaiosTheDevourer

5,078 views · 3 months ago

I’d say that you won’t believe that I popped another button off my pants, but you probably will because you see how much I eat here :) I’m getting fat and I’m pretty happy about it! I’ve gained 34 pounds since I started this channel and you can really tell. I’ve had to replace all my shirts, but I’ll try on some of the smaller ones just for you guys :)

Food made by farcilleskitchen!

529 likes

82 comments

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Delicious Dungeon: Naturally Delicious Treasure Insect Snacks

farcilleskitchen

127,493 views · 3 months ago

You can eat this one, but I don’t know if you’ll want to. It’s Falin’s birthday so I let her choose the recipe this week. And she chose … crickets. So many crickets. In so many increasingly upsetting flavors. But I’m proud to say that I was a good sport and tasted all of them. I don’t know if I can pick which one was best. 🙃

New videos every other Tuesday! 

Marcille 📸: arcane_ambrosia

Falin 📸: bugoutwithfalin

Senshi’s website: http://www.prodigiousprovisions.com 

86.2K likes

2,839 comments

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MUKBANG?? | Crickets and more

LaiosTheDevourer☑️

5,212 views · 3 months ago

I tried eating crickets today!! I thought I would like them more but they were just kind of like eating potato chips with legs. They weren’t very filling, though, so I’ll have to make sure I eat something else too …

Food provided by farcilleskitchen!

581 likes

92 comments

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Delicious Dungeon: Doppelganger Takoyaki

farcilleskitchen☑️

131,348 · 2 months ago

Laios got REALLY excited about this one, so we let him help. Luckily, the only doppelganger in this video is Falin’s octopus-shaped spaghetti spoon, so no one’s feelings were hurt when we cooked them. But it turns out that neither of us actually likes octopus that much, so Laios had the best day of his life. 

New videos every other Tuesday! 

Marcille 📸: arcane_ambrosia

Falin 📸: bugoutwithfalin

Senshi’s website: http://www.prodigiousprovisions.com 

92.5K likes

3,493 comments

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MUKBANG | Takoyaki! and burps

LaiosTheDevourer

5,345views · 2 months ago

I ate so much takoyaki that I had to lie down. I’m sooo stuffed in this video so please excuse the burping! I had to take a nap afterward because I was too full to do anything else. The best kind of day!

Food made by farcilleskitchen — and me! I helped!

599 likes

106 comments

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Delicious Dungeon: Exorcism Sorbet

farcilleskitchen☑️

138,921 views · 2 months ago

You don’t need an ice cream maker to enjoy some delightful sorbet! We’re getting summer a little early here and it is HOT. Stay cool with us and we’ll show you how to make a boozy granita out of it too. P.S. We tried deeply to get Laios to wear a shirt in this video. He refused and cited the temperature. Sorry/you’re welcome. At least you can see that he’s proof that we actually can cook.

New videos every other Tuesday! 

Marcille 📸: arcane_ambrosia

Falin 📸: bugoutwithfalin

Senshi’s website: http://www.prodigiousprovisions.com 

96.7K likes

3,594 comments

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MUKBANG | Ice cream on a full stomach

LaiosTheDevourer

5,455 views · 2 months ago

It’s so hot that all I want to do is eat ice cream … so that’s what I did. I ate a lot of sorbet for breakfast so I was already full when I started this video, and by the end I was so stuffed that my stomach was barely soft at all! Did you notice that it’s starting to hang over my belt? :)

613 likes

127 comments

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Delicious Dungeon: Barometz Balut

farcilleskitchen☑️

145,029 views · 1 month ago

YOU ALL NEED JESUS OR SOMETHING, OH MY GOD. Sincere thanks to everyone who commented about THE RECIPE and not Laios’s dadbod. We’re here for a reason, people! And today that reason is to use up some pork chops from, you guessed it, Uncle Senshi. He doesn’t like modern technology so he refuses to be in a video, but he loves that you guys keep asking him to. And he says that you should use San Marzano tomatoes for this, if you can.

New videos every other Tuesday! 

Marcille 📸: arcane_ambrosia

Falin 📸: bugoutwithfalin

Senshi’s website: http://www.prodigiousprovisions.com 

100.4K likes

3,947 comments

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MUKBANG | Ribs

LaiosTheDevourer

5,521 views · 1 month ago

You guys requested a shirtless video so here you go! I feel so good in a bigger body. It’s really liberating! I can’t believe I haven’t done a video with ribs yet, they’re so good and satisfying! I always feel like I’m eating a wooly mammoth or something haha. Thanks for watching!

Food made by farcilleskitchen!

637 likes

142 comments

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Delicious Dungeon: Giant Parasite from Giant Kraken, Grilled Plain and Kabayaki-Style

farcilleskitchen☑️

153,304 views · 1 month ago

EEL, THE KING OF MEATS! (Or at least that’s what the crossword tells me every week. They LOVE the word ‘eel’ over there.) Anyway, come greel eel with us. We’re the reel deel. P.S. SORRY, I stand corrected! Thanks (??) to everyone who chimed in to let me know that whatever Laios has going on is significantly more than dadbod. If you have any other info like this, I’d like to direct you to my personal phone number: 1-800-DID-I-ASK. Thanks!

New videos every other Tuesday! 

Marcille 📸: arcane_ambrosia

Falin 📸: bugoutwithfalin

Senshi’s website: http://www.prodigiousprovisions.com 

106.4K likes

4,029 comments

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MUKBANG and weigh-in | Eel

LaiosTheDevourer

5,611 views · 1 month ago

I could eat eel all day … and today I kind of did! I weighed myself before and after so you can see how well I did :) I’m getting pretty heavy! I was editing this video and kept noticing how chubby my face is getting. I really like it! And thank you again for all your encouragement, it means a lot to me!

Food made by farcilleskitchen!

684 likes

159 comments

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Delicious Dungeon: Mandrake and Basilisk Omelette

farcilleskitchen☑️

169,246 views · 3 weeks ago

If you guys haven’t signed up for Uncle Senshi’s CSA program, you are severely missing out. He’s got boxes for fruits and vegetables, boxes for ALL KINDS OF EGGS, and boxes for fresh and cured meats! What are you waiting for??? Also, to everyone asking why I hate Laios, I don’t hate him!! He’s one of my best friends AND basically my brother in law so I have full roasting rights. I also wish he’d make his OWN CHANNEL so I could stop hearing about how much you guys wanna [REDACTED] him! 

New videos every other Tuesday! 

Marcille 📸: arcane_ambrosia

Falin 📸: bugoutwithfalin

Senshi’s website: http://www.prodigiousprovisions.com 

108.7K likes

4,594 comments

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NOT a mukbang | Achy belly and hiccups/burps

LaiosTheDevourer

5,697 views · 3 weeks ago

I went out for Korean barbecue with some friends and ate way too much! I could barely get up from the booth when we were done, and they teased me (nicely!) the whole drive home about how tubby I’m getting. It’s been a few hours and I still feel like I’m going to burst. I’ll need new pants again soon at this rate.

702 likes

183 comments

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Delicious Dungeon: (Marry Me) Phoenix Confit💍

farcilleskitchen☑️

204,589 views · 1 week ago

Fun fact: neither of us took French in school! In today’s video, we butcher the language of romance and tell you a little about our own love story in honor of a) our channel anniversary and b) FALIN SAYING YES!!! Like this phoenix confit, our romance burned LOW AND SLOW for many years, but also like this phoenix confit, it’s been absolutely delicious since we got our act together 🥰. Here’s to many more years of #Farcille, and to many more delicious adventures together. P.S. Thanks for making me aware that Laios DOES have his own channel. Uh, go check that out, I guess.

New videos every other Tuesday! 

Marcille 📸: arcane_ambrosia

Falin 📸: bugoutwithfalin

Laios📹: LaiosTheDevourer

Senshi’s website: http://www.prodigiousprovisions.com 

140.4K likes

6,208 comments

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PROGRESS VIDEO | Weighing myself and GOALS!

LaiosTheDevourer

5,817 views · 1 week ago

New pants! Guess what size I am now :) I’ve gained so much weight since starting this channel and I’ve never felt better! Today I’ll talk about my journey so far, what’s next, and how much I weigh right now. Very excited for what’s to come!!

764 likes

229 comments

[wisteriasymphony]

Pulcinelle - Strikeback...back.

ok fine i vagued about it guess i have to share now

“Whatever damage I can cause, I will not stop! Unless, someone brings me Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous!” 

A slow clap made itself known from the far corner of the observatory. Slow, pronounced, and condescending. Monarch didn’t remember being followed. He hadn’t noticed a second presence in the room at all, actually. And yet there it was, this unseen apparition heralding itself with a pitiful. mockery. of congratulation. Just. Like. This. 

Monarch turned to face this spirit, but found himself incapable. A paralysis like no other shot through every vein, his body suddenly turned to stone. The gaze of a basilisk—no, a cockatrice. Gabriel was suddenly acquainted with a twist on the feeling of being unable to breathe; Rather than holding a breath, his lungs were petrified and utterly devoid of air. As such, he could not even be comforted by the sounds of his own respiration to know he was alive. By all means, he was stuck in his own dead body. 

Golden heels struck the floor as the phantasm approached, now with a thin glass of white wine in one hand. The stranger took a long, deep breath (as if it knew Monarch’s plight, and mocked him), and simply said: 

“Do you really think things would be so easy for you?” 

The cockatrice walked around the frozen Monarch to face him. Through those eliptical glasses, Monarch took in what he could through his already bloodshot eyes. That red feathered mask and vermillion cravat, two golden claw-rings on each hand. Though his hands were devoid of feeling and his eyes rigid, Monarch knew on his right thumb he had the Rooster Miraculous. He strained in an effort to move even the smallest fraction, to speak even a single command. It was futile. 

“Tell me, in a few days I’ll make my own speech, and then we can compare the two, yes?” The cockatrice smiled, slipping off the claw-ring first. Rather than pocket it, he simply slipped it on his thumb, letting it turn the same bright shade of golden as the rest of his rings. “Oh, but you must want me to explain myself. Look at you, you’re practically seething.” 

There was something so familiar about that face that was eluding him. —Felix! Felix had betrayed him after all, that little monster. After regaining the true peacock miraculous, Felix must have simply created another of his kind to retrieve them just when Gabriel was sure he had finally won. Felix had swapped the Dog Miraculous for the Rooster, or had planted a fake in Ladybug’s yo-yo somehow. Perhaps this sentimonster was simply masquerading as a holder? Yet with every question Monarch could raise to himself, the cockatrice stripped him of his power. 

“The name is Pulcinelle,” the young man spoke, slipping off every choker and necklace off Monarch with a single hand. “Now, I want to stand in your way just as much as I want to stand in Ladybug’s way. Ergo, I’ve decided the best course of action is to withhold these miraculi from the both of you. That way, neither of you are winning!” 

Pulcinelle bent down to sever the braided thread of Monarch’s anklet with the nib of his quill, making sure to keep his glass upright as he did so. He could admit he’d had a few ideas for restraining Monarch–summoning iron chains, outright suffocating him, even transforming him into a small cube—but the paralyzing gaze was working wonders for how simple it was. Even as he plucked the clips and comb and circlet off Monarch’s head, not a single hair would move! 

“Now, as a final warning,” Pulcinelle spoke assuredly, fiddling with all of his newfound jewelry, “…I’m fully willing to kill you if I see fit. There’s nothing I want more than to see you fail.” 

Monarch still couldn’t move, couldn’t even cower or gasp or even sneer at Pulcinelle’s self-satisfied sedition. The cockatrice smiled coldly, breaking into a laugh at Monarch’s hideous frozen scowl. 

White wine was splashed onto Monarch’s face and directly into his eyes as Pulcinelle poured the remainder of his drink on top of his head. 

“The game is on, Gabriel! Do make it interesting for me.” 

And so he left Monarch standing there, for three breathless hours, before the man could finally feel the air rush through his throat once more and scream. 

[torihakaraublog]

Obey Me! NB "The Great Demonus Awards!" Pop Quiz

It's okay guys I'm normal I'm normal...

(Also wow I wrote each section shortly after finishing each event instead of weeks after xD)

At the start of this event I was a little hesitant because Beel knows more about food then drinks so it was kinda odd when you think about it that Mephi asked him for help. The other participants being: Satan, Levi, and Luke also seemed like odd choices.

Barbatos was a judge so he could not participate, but I would have chose Asmo and Lucifer (and maybe Solomon) to be in this event instead of the chosen 3 since they have expressed interest in high quality demonus in the past.

The team as was did work well as a group tho and the event played into everyone's talents so as it progressed it didn't seem out of place; Levi looking things up on the computer, Satan helping us in the library etc.

Beel is just so stinking cute and thoughtful! Ahhhhh! And he's not shy to speak his mind which is even more adorable!! He really tries to take tasks seriously.

While he's always thinking about food we are also always on his mind - knowing their is a special flower in the rainy area he enjoyed and wants us to try too.

I really liked the added line when he's making us burgers and decides to have the same one you pick as well TwT and when he notices their is alot of bugs and asks if we would like bug spray.

Glad we did not have to fight those aqua creatures. We gave them something they needed and we got what we needed in return. In fire territory it was elemental fire spirits that gave them to us?? Bit unclear if that means the fruit grows in both regions or not.

Spending time in Beel's room at the end to have ice cream was great! Was there a kiss or something I missed tho? Also the event just kinda cuts off. We get the fruit then don't make the demonus or go to the event.

Think it was continued in the UR+ card, which is pretty annoying for people (me) who weren't able to get it.

Surprisingly it seems Beel might be a focus on the next event as well?? + Bel.

Some Food Mentioned

depravity fruit

ecstasy oranges/??

thunder bloom

grimshine berries

cockatrice jerky

monster mangosteen-flavored ice cream

(Note: I don't put these food lists on all my posts, just when I feel like it.)

Luke Birthday 2024

Not too much to stay about this event, but it was cute! A little scavenger hunt type thing and yummy food.

Enjoyed that Solomon, Raphael, and Simeon were the other supporting character cause they made the most sense, but the brothers were still included at the end since Luke is part of their 'family'.

Some Food Mentioned

black tapir hamburg steak

black fried shrimp

omelet made with demon goose eggs

ketchup

shadow caramel

[darkwingphoenix]

New @loominggaia OCs (New planned and newly released), Made By Picrew

Some from Formations of a Kingdom, others for the future!

Rosaria, an adopted Fatui daughter of Cobalt's. He and Sai find her under the temporary care of Yae Miko when Maia is 4 years old. Her hair's a more magenta color, and the red and white are natural, as are many colors for Fatui

Yae Miko herself, tho dryads can't be represented well either :(. She essentially protected Rosaria from a gang of Kelvingyard slavers hunting for Fatui in the area by refusing to hand her over. The slavers couldn't legally fight her, so they had to let Rosaria go long enough for Yae to dump her on Cobalt.

Marine's firstborn son Capitano. Marine married Bozzag's right hand man and moved to Kelvingyard not long after. Capitano served at Kelvingyard for quite some time, but ultimately retired after he was the lone survivor of a cockatrice attack. He became his mother's bodyguard, and tends to hide his face in a black helmet he commissioned for himself.

He's about 4 when Maia was born, as Marine was quick to get married as soon as she was legally able to. Unlike Teal, though, she actually got a man her parents approved of, even if they had a big age gap (She was 16 and he was like 30-something). He has a pretty chill relationship with her, although they didn't interact much until he left Kelvingyard military service. This is him about 6 years after leaving Kelvingyard, right about when a lotta drama hits the royal family involving the missing members and Cobalt.

Signoro, Marine's second born son. However...

He never really felt like a boy, and in fact discovered he was a she, and secretly changed her name to Signora. Knowing Evangeline's hatred towards the LGBT, she managed to protest enough to get herself exiled to Damiscend, where she met Columbina while she did therapy. She also gets a stipend from her parents (Who don't even know she's trans, all they know is that she ain't repenting to get back into Evangeline).

She's now totally happy as a trans lesbian, and is even dating a naiyul and sirene. And as basically all of Skylie's trans nieces or nephews have, Saraia gave Signora free gender reassignment transmutation.

Columbina, Marine's firstborn daughter, younger than Capitano and Signora (Technically Signora would be Marine's second born son). She went insane after she was raped by a man her parents forced her to marry, and she killed her husband and fled to Damiscend, having hidden on board. After a few years of intensive therapy, she was able to recover, but never wants to set foot in Evangeline again. She eventually found out she's bigender and demiromantic.

She does eventually reconnect with her older siblings, but only does so because they were planning a secret rebellion against the House of Humanity with Skylie, and she was rearing to split some Lindist skull. She may be sane now, she's just very sadistic if she gets to get revenge.

Dottore, Marine's third son, and the youngest of the 4 siblings (And younger than Columbina by a mere 10 months), but older than Lumine. He's a closeted gay, and is dating a man in secret. They cover this by having "married" two lesbians (Dottore married his husband's twin, his hubby married his twin's wife) and doing a double cover for the two couples.

He's an accomplished medic, but a complete disaster at combat, but his dad doesn't mind as he helped save Capitano's life after the cockatrice attack. Both Signora and Columbina are very suspicious of how Dottore, his husband and their "wives" are, as Signora thinks it's way too much like what many gay couples do in Evangeline and Columbina just has a hypersensitive gaydar.

Also, he isn't blind, he just likes wearing a blindfold for the meme.

The birth order for the Evangeline Cousins (The kids adopted or born to the kids of Cerulea and Rodrig) is: Amber (Winter 6015), Capitano (Roughly 6017), Signora and Citrine (Both Spring of 6019), Columbina/Dottore (10 months apart during 6020, Marine was about to pop with him during Cobalt and Sai's wedding), Maia (Summer 6021), Lumine (Winter 6021), and Indigo (Summer 6024).

Rosaria spawned into existence about 1 year after Indigo was born, aged 6. Technically she's younger than Indigo, but she's been called Maia's big sister since forever.

Arlecchino, a Fatui slave in Marine's employ. She serves mostly as a handmaiden. She was captured just outside of Evangeline Capital with her little sister Furina (They say that, but they both spawned at the same time, and aren't likely actually genetically sisters).

Furina, Arle's little sister (Sorta). She's dating Lumine. She's also a slave in Marine's home. She and Arle were initially in the High Palace but were gifted to Marine and her husband after Lumine was born. Her eyes are WAY more blue than this tho

Sandrone, Capitano's fiancé. She decided to team up with him and his siblings, Maia, Tartaglia, Arlecchino, Pantalone, Pulcinella and Pierro to form the Eleven Harbingers. She usually operates with Capitano. (She looks basically like her dad but female).

Pierro, Capitano's mentor, Sandrone's father, Pulcinella's son, and the director and main founder of the Eleven Harbingers. Also has a ROCKING short beard, but this Picrew lacks a beard option. It was all his idea to set this group up in Kelvingyard too attempt to take it down without it collapsing every so often by Saraia or others. His goal with the Harbingers is to totally level the city without killing anyone who doesn't have to to make Evangeline finally stop funding it, and thus slow down the growth of the slave population.

This goal wasn't originally noble: Pierro was just sick and tired of people in his soldiery (He was a barracks trainer for Kelvingyard) being lazy because they were used to slaves. He eventually broke down with how annoying it was with how lazy Evangelites were being due to slavery and just wanted people to know how to clean their own damn rooms without yelling for a slave.

As he recruited Arlecchino, Furina (Who serves as a minor operative at times), Chevreuse (Another minor operative), Signora and Columbina, however, his vision towards ending Kelvingyard shifted from being pissed off towards lazy cadets into a denouncement of slavery as a concept, and eventually devolving into just saying "Fuck it, the House of Humanity and Modern Lindism is a scam for control and wealth and it needed to fucking die yesterday."

His father's kinda on the fence about this but doesn't mind, Sandrone and Capitano are down for it, Signora and Dottore are all for taking down the House of Humanity because it bans the LGBT, Arlecchino and Furina would directly benefit from taking it down and ending slavery, and Columbina's just here to murder people and play Minecraft, and her phone just died.

Pulcinella, Pierro's father. His wife (Pierro's mom) died about a decade before Pierro founds the Harbingers. He has a super thin villainous mustache, but he's a pretty nice guy. Likes to tell embarrassing stories of when Pierro was a baby tho.

[violetjedisylveon]

Spoiled Hatchlings

Summary: Datura spoils her grandkids. Eda feels guilty and tired. And needs a nap.

Word count: 3.2k

Warnings: exhaustion, trauma, mentioned trauma, guilt, angst, the usual but with more fluff around it now.

A/N: The series finale is today guys! Isn't that insane?! Can't really believe the Owl House is ending, but I know it won't really end for me, I'll just keep plugging along with my aus and ideas and keep coming back to the show like gravity falls. It's a lot like gravity falls for me, lots of good memories and times with my family, only the good memories I have with this is talking with friends, online and in person, about this and it being my secret little show I watch. I'm not going to lie, the Owl House and the toh fandom has been really fun and important to me, it's given me a lot of characters I can relate to, more than any other show I've watched, and it's given me a lot of fun times making stuff like this AU! It's one of my favorite shows!

Enough sappy talk, I know you're all here for Enzo and King getting spoiled so let the spoiling begin!

Eda raises two gods AU link here.

________________________________________________________________________________

Datura had a vast skill set, being well over a hundred years old meant she picked up more than a few things, but damn, could the Werebeast cook!

After Enzo had woken up, Eda had found her mentor in the kitchen cooking up all sorts of treats and dishes. Some of Eda's absolute favorites were subtly snuck in the variety of options laid out for them and despite her guilt, Eda couldn't help herself.

There was just something about Datura's cooking. Maybe it was nostalgia, maybe the fact it had been so long, maybe not having to do the work herself made it better, and maybe some of the Werebeast's fur fell in and did something to make food taste better. Regardless of the reason, Eda was thankful she didn't have to cook. It felt like her body was going to give up on her any second.

Enzo really liked Datura's blossom bread, fresh out of the oven with a thick, sweet syrup made from the kid's favorite fruit. King, like the little gluttonous monster he was, was eating just about anything in front of him and Nibs was enjoying a snack of boiled Cockatrice eggs, a favorite treat of most Cat Snakes, she was making a mess, small chunks of bloody red egg were scattered about with the powdery remains of the purple yolks. Datura had a taste for the poisonous flesh of Cockatrice.

Eda herself had taken some biscuits and selected from the assortment of fruits and other plants laid out. She took a bite from a Cattail, it was cooked to perfection, void of the toxic bitterness it had raw.

It was one of her favorite fruit snacks while living with Datura and immediately brought back memories of reading some old text by the fireplace on a cold winter day.

Fuck, the nostalgia of this place was hitting her so hard.

"Amanita, could you go gather some more fruit for me? I have a feeling Enzo would like to try some." Datura was saying to a swamp cat napping on the windowsill.

The mossy green creature stretched with a wide yawn and rose, the water plants growing along her back bobbed as she shook herself out. The swamp cat meowed at Datura in that high pitched, needy way most felines did.

Datura rolled her eyes but allowed the critter to crawl across her tail and onto her shoulder. Amanita promptly settled onto her chosen perch and began to rub her head against Datura's cheek, the pair of mushrooms on her head released a sweet scent.

From his spot in a hanging nest near Datura's peppers, Jalapeño growled at the swamp cat monopolizing Datura's attention. Eda smiled at the familiar scene, Jalapeño and Amanita certainly hadn't changed.

The Werebeast scratched the swamp cat under her chin, resulting in a loud purr from the critter.

"Enough making Peño jealous, go get the fruit." Datura scolded Amanita gently.

With an upset huff, Amanita leapt off Datura's shoulder and landed in front of Eda. She hissed and clapped her mushrooms together, sending a wave of rotten smelling spores into her face, then in that haughty feline manner, trotted off.

"Naughty Nita." Datura sighed, offering her a towel.

Eda took it and wiped the spores off.

"Naughty is one word I'd use." Eda grunted.

"Aren't you a little old to be picking fights with wildlife, kit?" Datura mused.

Enzo giggled at that. Eda rolled her eyes. Amanita, who as far as Eda knew was anywhere from twenty-three to who the fuck knows years old, had been hanging around Datura her whole life, there were pictures of Amanita as a kitten somewhere. Swamp cats tended to live pretty long as far as wildlife was concerned, she'd read somewhere that the lifespan was similar to a witch's.

I guess long lived felines attract each other. There were several colonies of swamp cats that made Datura's territory their home and, at least when she'd lived with the Werebeast, frequently came in to just hang out like they owned the place.

"Kit, are you listening?" Eda looked up at Datura, who she had just realised was talking to her.

"Uh…"

Datura flicked an ear and smiled at her.

"I was saying that I am going to check the new kits in Amanita's colony tomorrow afternoon, and your Owlet was wondering if you could stick around and see them. Maybe you could give me a hand, the breeding season was very successful from what I've heard." Datura said.

Eda looked down at Enzo next to her. They had withdrawn into themself, ears tucked tight against their head, facing away from her and nervously tapping his feet, er, foot in this case. She made a mental note to write down the withdrawal behavior for Clover.

"Enzo, do you want to stay?" She asked, gently resting a hand on their hunched shoulder.

"We don't have to! We can go if you want, it was stupid anyway!" Enzo said quickly.

Eda turned Enzo to face her and got them to look up. Why did they always look so scared to ask her something? They looked like she was about to hit them! It was going to kill her if it kept up.

"I can do something you want, Starshine, I'm pretty flexible if you haven't noticed." She paused, feeling their shoulders relax under her hands.

"If you wanna go do something, we can do it, it's not a problem, okay?" She said.

Once again, Enzo didn't look like they fully believed her that such simple things weren't a problem. But the kid nodded.

"I wanna see the baby kitties." They said timidly.

Eda smiled, Enzo rarely asked for things they wanted, they'd ask for things for King or Nibs, but not themself. It was a good start.

"Alright, we can go see them with Datura." Eda said.

Enzo smiled up at her like she put the moon in the sky. She ruffled their hair.

An impatient meow came from the table, Amanita was sitting with a basket of Blossom Bat fruit hanging from her mouth.

"Geesh, can't you wait a minute?" Eda asked, playfully batting the swamp cat back.

She hissed and dropped the basket in front of Enzo.

"I'm gonna find shit on my pillow, aren't I?" Eda asked Datura.

"You know Nita." She chuckled.

Eda rolled her eyes and turned back to her breakfast.

XXX

"I can help you with those." Eda offered, taking an armful of dishes to the sink for Datura.

"Why thank you, kit." Datuta said with a soft purr.

"Do you need my help?" Enzo asked.

In comparison to Datura, who towered above her at over seven feet, Enzo looked so small, the kid was less than half of Datura's height and they were sitting. She could only imagine how they compared to her beast form, Datura would absolutely dwarf him.

"No Owlet, you can explore outside for a bit, Nita and Peño can show you around. Just don't get up, okay?" Datura told Enzo.

They looked at her for permission.

"Are you sure?" They asked.

"I've got six limbs to wash with, we'll get along just fine without you, Owlet." Datura said with a flexing of her tentacles.

Datura gave her a sly, impish grin over her shoulder.

"Besides, I believe my kit wants to talk about things that little ears shouldn't hear." Datura whispered loudly.

Enzo giggled at the supposed secrecy.

"Now get going, it's a beautiful day for nestlings to enjoy the sun."

Datura made a gentle shooing motion at the kid.

They giggled and wheeled towards the door, they stopped and leaned over the counter, motioning for her to come closer.

"I like your mom, she's nice." Enzo whispered not so quietly into her ear.

Eda's face warmed, Datura laughed.

"Starshine, she's not-" Eda started.

"I like you too Owlet, you are very sweet." Datura cooed, giving them a gentle pat on the head.

Enzo beamed and gave her a nod, then wheeled out the door with a giddy laugh at how fast the wheelchair went on automatic mode.

Eda watched them go, she didn't have the heart to correct them, and she didn't want to open that can of worms just yet. She turned around, Datura was giving her a mischievous, amused grin, her pupils were dilated and her tail ticked with anticipation. Eda rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Go ahead." Not like I would be able to stop you anyway.

"So I'm your mom now, am I?" Datura chuckled.

"Didn't wanna explain it." Eda shrugged and turned to the dishes.

"Suit yourself, kit." Datura shrugged and settled in beside her.

Eda listened to the kids' laughter as she fell into the familiar routine of washing by Datura's side. Despite the playful gibe, it was an almost automatic thing.

Datura was humming softly and tapping her foot as she went, her tail moved in time with the beat. Birds and wildlife could be heard beyond the open window, flowers and swamp flora bloomed, perfuming the air in an earthy, natural aroma.

Everything, even Datura herself, was the same and everything was so different. No, she was what was different.

"What is it, kit?" Datura asked, reading her troubled mind just like she used too.

Eda took a breath, prepared to blunder an apology out, when she heard the kids laughing outside. Enzo's earlier withdrawal was called to the front of her mind. The kid had some issues, Clover had been able to confirm that much, and true to her word sent some tricks to handle it, but Eda hadn't been able to implement any of them yet, she didn't know how to introduce it to Enzo.

They might not even know that something was wrong! From what the kid said, there had been a time before whatever went down, and with the way they talked about him, she didn't think their father had been the one to screw them up, but it seemed like it had been a long time since they had seen their dad. A lot must've gone wrong since. It worried her how little of this puzzle she had.

An infant demon, a powerful, severely traumatized kid with an extreme, unexplained fear of the Emperor, both of unknown origin, sharing a father who was absent and probably dead. That was it.

"Are you worried about your Owlet?" Datura asked softly.

"How could you tell?" Eda asked dryly.

"When you reach a certain age, you get good at reading people, children can't conceal all the tells, just the most obvious ones. I knew something was up the moment I saw them. No one can hide the way they smell." Datura answered.

Eda sighed and stared at her reflection on the plate she was drying. She looked tired, more tired than when she brought the kids to the park. Maybe a few days with Datura wouldn't be such a bad idea. It would give the kid someone else he trusted.

"Yeah, something is definitely up." Eda admitted.

Datura hummed, her tail ticking back and forth. Eda saw the gears turning in her head as she formulated an idea.

"It seems that you need help with your hatchlings, kit." Datura said, grinning broadly at her.

"You know they really aren't my kids." Eda pointed out.

Datura leveled a doubtful stare at her and Eda conceded. It was sounding less true every time she said it.

"You're welcome to stay as long as you need, kit, your house demon should be fine by himself for a few days." Datura offered.

A few days without having to be soley responsible for two kids and herself sounded nice, and it wouldn't be right to just show up and leave. Plus Enzo needed a broader examination of their health, King too if, Datura could figure out what either of them were. And she might actually find the courage to apologize to her former mentor for all the trouble she brought into Datura's life.

"That doesn't sound too bad." Eda nodded.

Datura flashed her a wide, fanged grin and pulled her into her side. The Werebeast was purring up a storm.

"Excellent! Now, tell me all about your hatchlings." Datura purred.

Her pupils were so very wide. Excited was a gross understatement, Datura was absolutely thrilled.

A familiar warmth worked its way through Eda's body, easing the ache of her joints and guilt in her mind. Datura had always had that sort of calming effect on people, damn it felt good.

"Well, Enzo really likes Blossom Bat fruit, as you've probably noticed and they also like this type of squid, it's called nut head squid, used to eat it with their dad and, uh sister, I think." Eda said.

She didn't know exactly who the "Este" Enzo kept referring to was, her best guess was that sister they'd mentioned. It made enough sense.

She noticed Datura was looking at her weird.

"What?" She asked.

"You kept a straight face, you've matured a lot since I last saw you." Datura said.

Eda rolled her eyes.

"It's not like the kid knows, and I'm not about to explain all that to them." Eda grunted.

Datura laughed.

"What about the little one, what does he like?" She asked.

"Oh, King will eat anything that's not nailed down, he's an absolute glutton and a little monster about it too, the amount of times I've caught him trying to sneak something- guess I should expect it, they do live with me. Oh, and if he gets really mad he'll get all huffy and let out the most hilarious, adorable squeal you've ever heard, it's like a tea kettle!" Eda said.

"Oh I look forward to seeing that, and if they're anything like you at all, they'll learn to get away with mischief soon enough, enjoy the calm while it lasts." Datura advised with a chuckle.

"Was I really that bad?" Eda asked.

"You were positively horrible, kit, but not the worst kit I've had, actually, you were rather tame in comparison." Datura said.

The smile on her face told Eda the Werebeast was thinking back fondly of all the chaotic hellions she'd allowed into her home.

At least I'm not the worst.

XXX

Sickness tainted the air.

Datura set the bowl she was holding down and shook her witchling awake from her place curled by the warm fire. The child was underweight and racked with illness and infection. She stifled the growl that rose in her throat, the time for anger was later.

The witchling grumbled weakly and rolled to face her, sticky red tinted eyes stared up at her. Datura held out the bowl to her.

"Kit, I need you to drink this. It will make you feel better." She instructed.

The witchling gave her a distrusting look.

"She said all sorts of shit would make it better." She growled as she rolled over onto her back and covered her eyes with her bandaged arm.

Datura's tail twitched with irritation. The witchling clearly had some unresolved issues that, thus far she had refused to fully talk about. Datura hadn't asked for any information and let the witchling say what she was comfortable with, but comments like those were annoyingly vague.

"This is food, kit, you need food to stay alive." Datura explained.

The witchling lowered her arm slightly and gave the bowl a slightly less murderous, distrusting look.

"It's not some weird medicine?" She asked.

"In my experience, good food is its own medicine." Datura grinned.

The witchling sat up and hesitantly took the bowl and spoon offered. She took a cautious spoonful, her eyes lit up and she began eating faster.

Datura checked the witchling's wounds while she ate. The jagged lacerations were still raw, but healing nicely and due to her diligent care, were not infected. She rewrapped the wounds and sanitized the old wrappings with a quick spell.

The witchling had finished her soup and set the bowl aside by the time she was done. She had a satisfied grin on her fever flushed face.

"Did you enjoy it, kit?" Datura asked as she collected the bowl.

"It's amazing! You're a great cook." The witchling complimented.

"Thank you, kit, I'll be sure to make it for you when you're better." Datura said.

"What was it anyway?" She asked.

"A Cockatrice and willow leaf soup." Datura told her.

Realization dawned on the witchling's face, before she could object, Datura stopped her.

"You are sick, kit, the willow will reduce your fever and I used Cockatrice bones to make the broth. I'm not going to trick you again, but I need you to take medicine when I give it to you. I am not trying to kill you." Datura said sternly.

The witchling had her legs pulled to her chest, Datura recognized the posture from years of being a healer. Her witchling had more trauma than just her cursed state.

She did the only thing one could do in this situation, comfort the witchling. She sat next to her and began to run her fingers through the knotted mess of fiery hair.

Grooming was soothing to many beasts, and this child, while not one herself, had one in her that influenced her behaviors.

Soon, the witchling had relaxed enough that she was leaning against the Werebeast.

" … they tried so many things to fix it… she wouldn't leave me alone or let me out of her sight for more than two seconds… she made me do so many weird, uncomfortable things, brought me to some real creeps, some of that shit wasn't even medicine!… she never listened to me…" the witchling trailed off, fiddling with a stray lock of hair.

"She said she wanted it gone… no matter what… even if they had to tear it out of me… I don't know how… maybe it told me… but I knew that would kill me…" The witchling nervously glanced at her.

Datura could smell her terror, it came off in powerful waves. The witchling was trying to keep her emotions in check, and failing hard. Datura detangled her hands from the messy hair and cupped the witchling's face gently. She hesitantly leaned into the Werebeast's rough, weathered hands. Datura pressed their foreheads together.

"Listen to me, kit. I will not ever hurt you. I won't do anything that makes you uncomfortable, and I will tell you what I give you." She said softly.

"I am not going to try to remove your curse, as far as I'm concerned it's there to stay. Attempting to is a useless, traumatizing endeavor, and you've had more than enough of that. What I will do is teach you how to manage it and manage the beast when it takes control." Datura told her.

"You're not scared of it?" The witchling asked.

"Kit, I'm much bigger than it, and I have plenty of experience dealing with beasts, I'll figure out how it works and make a counter. I will be fine and you will be safe." Datura said.

The witchling smiled at her and finally allowed herself to relax. Datura went back to grooming the kit.

"Your hair is a disaster, kit." She commented.

The witchling mumbled something unintelligible, she was close to the land of sleep. She shivered and reached for the blanket. Datura felt a purr rumble in her throat, she shifted and curled around the witchling, letting her find comfort in her soft, thick fur.

"Sleep well, kit."

________________________________________________________________________________

Bet you weren't expecting that at the end, were you?

Next up, Datura continues spoiling her grandkids and teasing Eda about a certain songbird.

I decided Enzo is smol. They is 3'11" now, and will get slightly taller by luz's arrival, maybe they will be 4'1".

King, Enzo and Nibs all saw Eda and Datura interact once and just assumed Datura was Eda's mom, no questions asked. It's not that hard of an assumption to make, Datura certainly doesn't help the situation.

Also I might have the next chapter ready to post as soon as sunday. It might be a shorter one but I might have it ready enough.

Anyway, I decided to go into the episode almost 100% blind, didn't watch the trailer and have only seen little bits of it, I want to be surprised and I know I'm gonna get hurt but, price of being in this fandom. So it's gonna be fun and give me more ideas on what'll happen at that point in this au(it's gonna be worse, for sure 😈 ) enjoy the finale and lets send the Owl House off with a bang!

VJS Out!

[nehswritesstuffs]

Cora Week 2023 - 6 - Fantasy AU

It’s Cora Week, everyone, so time to celebrate our favorite doomed puppy clown with some fic!

Prior fills: Smile [FFN/AO3] - Gun [FFN/AO3]  - Season [FFN/AO3]  - [...]a change[...] [FFN/AO3] - Family [FFN/AO3]

1062 words; I was given an opening to write a fantasy AU and I’m running with it; basically everything’s the same except for the addition of one weird detail that could make or break the show nbd; I flirt with very recent manga spoilers with this one so please be forewarned; this is by far the longest of the fills and that’s alright since I wanted to make it LONGER but restrained myself because that was not the purpose here; technically contains stuff from the prior fill but not really

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“You must remember,” his father had said, so long ago now. It had been a quiet night, with Mother embroidering by the fire and Doffy already asleep from the day’s adventures. Father had pulled Rosi aside and set him on his knee like the proud papa he was. “You are only Human, Rosinante, but a very special Human.”

“Cousin Mjsogard says we are gods,” the boy parroted. “What does that mean?”

“It means that your cousin believes a lie, no more,” Father replied. He sighed, which he often did while talking about cousins and aunts and uncles and neighbors. “You, your mother, and I… we were all born as Humans, just as much as many of the people in Mary Geoise. It is something to love about yourself, to embrace, to love…”

“…and Doffy too!” Rosi’s face fell as he saw his father’s expression grow weary. “Is… is Doffy not a Human?”

“He is not, unfortunately,” Father said. “His birth had been foretold for a long, long time—no. He is not Human, not like us… and even then, not like you.”

“Like me…?”

“Yes.” Father’s face was so incredibly sad as he stroked his younger son’s hair. “You are the only one immune to Doffy’s power. It is not powerful now, but given time and practice, it will be deadly to others. You must learn how to protect him and those around you, or else the tales will come true.”

“What tales?”

“The Death of Joyboy and the Age of True Darkness.” Father stared at the fire for a moment, thinking. “It is why we shall be moving in a few weeks.”

“…moving?! Where?!”

“That remains to be seen, but you mustn’t tell, because Doffy mustn’t know until we are preparing to leave,” Father said. “This is a big change, and it will hopefully help you as you care for your brother.”

Rosi pondered that. “What is Doffy…?”

“That, my child, is something for another day.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Rosi was seven when he finally learned what his brother was.

“…a cockatrice…?” the boy wondered. He frowned almost exaggeratedly. “What’s that supposed to be?”

“The books in our old library said it was a powerful creature that could kill by looking into its eyes. Sometimes touching, sometimes breathing.” The older boy sifted through the trash and found some bread that wasn’t quite terrible, passing it to his brother. “They’re a type of dragon.”

“…but why…?”

“A cockatrice is supposed to be born when it’s time for the Celestial Dragons to defeat Joyboy,” Doffy said. “I was supposed to be the one to bring in the True Age of Dragons… but Father went and ruined it.”

“Why would you want to destroy Joyboy? People ask him to come and free them.”

“Exactly.” Rosi shivered as Doffy’s face got real scary. “Only the powerful get to truly be free. That’s what I’ll be: the most powerful person in the world. Greater than I—”

“No…!” Rosi dropped the bread and put his hands over his brother’s mouth. “We’re not supposed to!”

Doffy shrugged Rosi off and huffed indignantly—he knew his brother was right. “All I need to do is get strong, and then I can find Joyboy and look at him.”

“Why… why would you want to do that…?” Rosi picked up the bread and saw it was still close to edible. “He could be old already, or not even born. He could be a she, or an it, or a they—do we know if Joyboy is even Human? Already a slave?”

“All I know is this,” Doffy took off his sunglasses, his glare piercing and scary and full of rage, “is going to bring the New Age, and instead of the Dragons at the top, it will be me… us…” Something rustled in the garbage and both boys looked—the moment the elder brother saw the rat it began to convulse and froth at the mouth. Rosi turned away as Doffy reached for a rock, the sickening thud confirming that the poor rat had been put out of its misery. “Father can roast this over a fire.”

Rosi was certain he did not like rats, though he did pity them.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“He’s done a convincing job, Young Master, but how do we know this man is telling the truth?” Diamante frowned. He, Pica, and Trebol were in Doflamingo’s office, with the strange mute man who claimed to be their leader’s long-lost younger brother sitting off to the side. The three Elite Officers were wary of this man—he looked so much like their leader—and wondered.

“Indeed,” Trebol agreed. He sucked up a drip of snot into his nose with a snort. “Identifying marks can be faked and information learned.”

“Then let’s try something that can’t be faked or learned,” Doflamingo stated, voice even and dark. The Elite Officers all shuddered as Doflamingo went past them and stood in front of the stranger. “Stand.”

He did, then scribbled something on his pad of paper: What do you want?

“Look me in the eyes.”

Doflamingo took his sunglasses off and stared at the man. He stared right back, meeting his mangled gaze head-on without so much as a falter. Tears began to well in his good eye and he palmed them away.

“It’s him,” he said, trying not to sniffle. Doflamingo put his sunglasses back on and hugged Rosinante. “Welcome home, brother.”

“He survived?!” Diamante gasped.

“He’s not writhing in pain…” Pica marveled.

“Most people are rendered helpless in an instant!” Trebol puzzled.

“Not my brother—he’s the only one it doesn’t work against… always has.” Doflamingo led Rosinante towards the Elite Officers with a grin. “Gentlemen, I do believe we have a new Corazón for the Heart Seat after all.” He felt Rosinante tug at his shirt and he looked at the writing pad.

Rendered helpless? I thought your glare killed.

“Not anymore,” Doflamingo replied sadly. “It hurts, it tortures, but it’s not like it should be. You can thank our fool of a father for that.”

But you—Rosinante stopped writing when his brother’s hand rested on his.

“You have a lot to learn about the last few years, dearest brother,” he whispered. “Don’t worry—I’ll make sure you stay at my side… at the top…”

Rosinante gulped and nodded, though inwardly was doing a dance for joy.

He was in.

[alsosprachvelociraptor]

IMPERFECT CREATURES

The kingdom of Larnion, located north of the continent, is famous for being inhabited by elves: creatures of beauty and elegance, with extraordinary abilities, nobility of spirit and pure magic flowing through their veins. And yet, not all elves are perfect. Marquis Timothy Burch of BlackLake carries a generations-long curse, a deformed and weak body and occult magic, and lives a lonely but peaceful life- until an encounter with a bard with a hunched back and pale, misaligned irises turns his entire life upside down - for better or worse, not even Tim knows.

South Park - Stick of Truth AU + Post Covid. The designs will be inspired by SoT, but with the adult PC version. Contains violence and Jimmy's unfunny jokes. Exercise caution.

*

CHAPTER ONE

The orchestra played merrily as human servants darted here and there around the great throne hall of the Royal Castle of Larnion, voices in every elvish dialect of the realm overlapping melodiously like a choir to the music.

It was, that day, the one hundred and twenty-fifth birthday of Prince Roland of Larnion, King Kyle's son, who now sat proudly at his father's side instead of under the throne platform, where his younger sister still sat in her little girl's chair. 

Roland was similar to his father Kyle. Red, curly hair and large golden eyes were a sign of the highest elven nobility, though his curls were softer and longer than his father’s, his eyes larger, his face sprinkled with freckles. He still had to mature that nobility of spirit which, on the other hand, the man at his side unleashed with ease.

King Kyle was a tall, lanky elf with a strong physique and broad shoulders, his short, curly hair of a brilliant fiery red clasped in his usual heavy crown of woven golden branches, a short, elegant beard on his sharp face and his eyes as bright and golden as heliodor gems. Majestic and almost divine, wrapped in his long blood-red robe, Prince Roland paled beside him, but that was normal. Even Kyle, as a young elf, had looked like a lost child beside his father.

The blond Donnely, an earl from the capital province who often stayed at the castle, bowed before the throne, clutching a large gem in his hands. His family, the Donnelys, were owners of a mine taken from the orcs several centuries earlier.

"Donnely gave the prince a jewel, of course," sniggered Douglas Petuski, an elven knight with ash-coloured hair and amber eyes, a vivid orange typical of woodland elves, the ethnic group to which he belonged. Even though he was elegantly dressed, the stench of the wild had stuck to him, and would not slip away from his mud-coloured skin- not that he paid attention to it.

The four elves stood in the furthest corner of the room, in an area where they could talk freely without disturbing the tedious ceremony of welcoming the young heir into adulthood, squeezed into a corner near a black-veined marble fountain in the shape of a cornucopia.

"And what did you bring instead? A dog poo and a couple of sticks?" muttered the tall elf by his side, dressed in purple like the colour of his always slightly sad-looking eyes, and with long midnight-blue hair framing his pale face. The drow and the coppery-haired elf at his side let out a light chuckle, under Petuski's displeased gaze.

"A book and horses are a better gift, perhaps?" retorted Petuski, now almost offended. "Can you perhaps build a house, or build a fire with those?"

The drow, short and stocky, glared at him, her eyes red and evil. "This is no ordinary book. Dark magic of the dark realm, something you surely cannot understand, half-animal."

Petuski made to draw the sword hanging at his hip, and the drow swiped her obsidian-coloured fingers over the magic pendant hanging from her neck, but the strangled cry of the beast at the side of the last elf, who had not yet spoken and usually did not speak at all, silenced them both.

The beast, a cockatrice with blind eyes and a muzzle on its beak, rasped a kind of bellow and stomped on the ground a couple of times with its clawed, deformed paws, before returning to its owner, slipping between his heavy metal stick and his legs.

The elf, with short coppery hair on a head that was strangely large and unshapely for his race, and his very long ears pointing down rather than up, bent to stroke the sparse feathers of his cockatrice.

"Only a madman like Burch would bring a cockatrice to the king's court," Petuski replied, with a smile on his lips now.

Timothy Burch stood up straight, towering over the group of elves with whom he was waiting his turn, smiling at the deformed beast between his legs. "I never leave Gobbles alone," he muttered, slurring the words between his large, pointed teeth, something else he shared with no elf, not even the carnivorous drow at his side.

An embarrassed silence fell over the four, and when the king pronounced Lord Jason White's name, the tall, purple-robed elf with long strides walked towards the throne, showing the king and heir, with his merchant's charm, the splendid swords of dwarven forge he intended to gift to the young prince, whose golden eyes gleamed with the desire to wield those weapons and challenge some dummies in the king's private garden.

Then, the turn to show presents to the spoiled son of the king passed for lord Jason, and it was the turn of the next nobleman to delight the heir with gifts he would never use.

"Sir Timothy Burch, Marquis of BlackLake."

King Kyle's voice was crystal clear, and uncompromising. He wasn't going to wait for Gobbles' tantrums, or the marquis' slowed limp, and so Tim braced himself and walked briskly towards the throne, the cane ticking noisily by his side tapping repeatedly against the beautiful marble that made up the floors of the throne room.

He motioned to his servants, who were watching the proceedings from the door leading to the outer garden of the palace, to bring the horse inside while he tugged Gobbles, who was limping behind him.

Arriving in front of the throne, he lowered his head and bent over as much as he could, pressing hard on the stick and praying to the Gods that it would not slip on the smoothly polished floor. The metal tip of the stick moved, but almost immediately caught in a crack between two tiles, and Timothy felt his own heart skip a beat.

"Sire. Prince Roland, I offer you my warmest wishes."

When he looked up, he met Prince Roland's golden eyes, wide open in an emotion akin to fear. His perfect face was contracted into a grimace of horror, anguish, disgust. He did not respond to Timothy's wishes, and the copper-haired elf knew well why.

It was not the first time he had been treated like that, and it certainly would not be the last.

Elves were renowned for their beauty and elegance, perfect beings in such a dirty world, glints of pristine excellence - but Tim was not like that.

He was a deformed elf, sick and weak, who dared to present himself before the king of those creatures considered superior to every other race on the continent. With his deformed head and ears pointing downwards, long, misshapen legs that lacked the strength to keep him upright, and sparse copper hair on his sickly alabaster skin, Timothy Burch, the Marquis of BlackLake, was not someone looked upon favourably. The younger elves, like Roland and like his sister and like the other children who were present at that party, ran and hid and looked away when he passed by.

But his territories, a border march on a lake full of untamable creatures, were in the primary needs of the kingdom of Larnion, and King Kyle knew it well.

"Say thank you, Roland. Don't you dare disrespect the marquis." Kyle growled in a tone of voice as sharp as the blades the prince held in his hands, and perhaps that hurt even more. Roland nodded, looked away and kept his gaze down. "Excuse me. Thank you, Marquis Burch."

With a twinge of irritation in his soul, Timothy thought that if the boy was behaving in that way,  he really  wasn’t as mature as the evening’s ceremony supposedly suggested. He kept the thought to himself, however, because if there was one thing Tim was truly extraordinary at, it was keeping quiet.

With a snap of his fingers towards his servants, Timothy instead said something else; that little speech he had rehearsed for the occasion.

"For Prince Roland, who will surely be as magnificent a king as his father is, I thought of the best steed."

Accompanied by two servants, a proud and mighty unicorn marched behind Timothy, his frightened cockatrice between his legs as the unicorn trotted along, so weightless that its hooves did not seem to touch the ground.

Roland rose to his feet with such vigour that he almost dropped the swords and jewels he held in his lap. "A unicorn, father!!!" he shouted with his voice full of emotion as never before that evening, as Timothy felt the hate-filled stares of the other elven nobles on his back.

The table was set and the food plentiful, but not excessively so. King Kyle was known not to overindulge in anything, and was renowned indeed for his skill in economy, aided by his genial cousin of the same name, Lord Kyle of the Windy Hills, who sat next to him at that moment. Lord Kyle had a notebook in his hands, and dark ringlets fell over his face, which appeared bluish-hued with how pale he was. Timothy was not close enough to eavesdrop on the conversation between the two royals, but a few words still reached his long ears, including bard, and bad idea.

There had never been a bard at any party hosted by King Kyle, as far as he could remember. Timothy's ears twitched on their own, trying to pick up those words from tables away, as only he could - his condition was not only physical, but also magical, and this was little known in the elven community. Using his abnormal abilities among others was not a good idea, but Timothy did it anyway. He was usually skilled enough to be able to hide what he was doing.

Silence fell over the room all of a sudden like a curtain of smoke, and Timothy felt his blood run cold in his veins. 

Were they watching him? Had they noticed his deformities, or his crooked-born cockatrice Gobbles, both of which all the elves he had known had remarked on so many times? Maybe they had caught him spying on the king with his cursed, secret magic?

Looking around, no, he realised that the attention was not on him, but on someone else.

Dragging his stocky, heavy legs behind him, came limping an elf of peculiar colours.

"Is it a drow?" Jason hissed to the elf seated next to him, whose golden ringlets tumbled over her long robe of red brocade. The warrior elf, Bebe, stood gazing in horror at the figure who was slowly walking down the hall, the same look all the elves wore in that moment, after all.

"No!" whispered Henrietta, the drow. “There are no malformed drow, perfection is in our nature! That thing is not one of us! What if it's a silver elf like you, instead?"

Jason hid a grimace of disgust only because he felt Timothy's neutral - but not quite so, really- gaze upon him.

The skin of the elf who was dangling in front of the royal table was not the pearly skin of silver elves, nor the sun-kissed skin of golden elves, nor the obsidian skin of drow. It was grey, like thunderclouds, and his hair was lead-coloured mottled with white - a disgrace to the elves - and his stocky body was bent in a way that was difficult for the eye to bear, for a creature that should have been synonymous with elegance. His spine curved in on itself, so that his head was nestled between his broad shoulders. His face was ungainly and his ears, which were long and curved with the tip bending down, were studded with different kinds of earrings. 

"I o-offer my greetings to the king of thi-this beautiful land, very much." stammered the elf in an overconfident voice, miming a bow as deep as the crutches that held him up would allow. Removing his right hand from the handleof the crutch that was secured under his strong arm, he grasped the neck of a large lute which was slung over his shoulders. "I am the b-best b-bard in Larnion, my name is Jimmy. Today is a happy day for the ki-kingdom, is it not? I have heard that the heir has reached maturity!"

King Kyle gave a tense smile to his host bard. "Yes, noble James. I called you because my son Roland loves songs. Don't you, Roland?" his father urged him, but the boy instead reserved for him the same look of terror he had given Timothy moments before.

Disgust.

Timothy felt his face boil with anger, but he restrained himself. Living amongst the other nobles, who were all obsessed with the perfect genetics of their race, was so unnerving. He hardly ever left his domains for that exact reason, and his parents had lived a life of seclusion for that exact reason, too.

"Is there any s-song you want to hear, my prince?" the bard asked. Roland kept quiet. At his side, the little princess Ethel sank her face into her arms and burst into a loud cry, which increased the muttering among the nobles. King Kyle's golden eyes widened as he passed his gaze over his sons, then his cousin, and finally to his trusted elf guard behind him, Ser Stanley of the Marshlands, who gaped for a split second before acting. "Er... er what about... starting with the classic stuff? Eh, Roland, do you want to hear some jokes?" the elf warrior, strong of body and quick of intellect, who often and willingly helped his beloved king on difficult occasions like those, urged him.

Roland nodded, lowering his head as the princess was escorted out by her nanny.

"Wow, what a great audience!" chuckled the bard to himself, before leaning on his crutches with his broad arms and forking his lute like a weapon. "No shame, my king, it happens often. Children run away at my arrival, and adults laugh. I usually p-prefer the latter, and that is what I want from you all today! A smile on my audience's lips is sweeter th-than wine on my tongue. Well, certainly sweeter than this wine you offer, my liege. S-somebody spent a little short on these supplies, eh?"

King Kyle turned to Lord Kyle, who had blushed to the tips of his ears, while the king laughed heartily. The other lords also followed him in a general giggle. Timothy remained upright and tense in his chair, with no sign of hilarity on his face.

The crippled elf began to play light accompanying notes on his lute, while he continued joking.

"Wow, what a great audience. The n-nobles drive me crazy, I love them. N-not just because their palaces are a delight to wander around in and be ho-hosted! All their secrets and shady dealings... do you know anything about that, ser, you behind the King, wa-wa-waa-gging your tail like a faithful lapdog?" he turned to Stan of the Marshes, who took a step back as the crowd erupted in laughter. Eventually a smile came to his lips tanned by the strong Larnion sun, as King Kyle clasped his red face between his hands.

"Ah, nothing like being back among the elves." cheered the bard, Jimmy, launching into a lute solo as he continued to speak. "You can't imagine the chaos in Kupa Keep. I-I've just been there. I had to wash myself three times in a row to get the stench of humans off me, and the foul v-voice of their Grand Wizard out of my ears!"

There was another loud roar of laughter all around, so loud that Gobbles squirmed between Timothy's legs, his head barely able to stay up to find Timothy's hand under the table. Tim stroked the long crooked neck, eagerly awaiting the moment when he could return to the room he had been assigned in the King's huge palace.

The bard pretended to sniff the air, then turned his gaze in the direction of Timothy's table, his eyes- the irises almost white, the black pupils pointing in opposite directions- searching for more victims. "Ah, that's where the st- the stench came from. The wild elf who doesn't wash, what an ah-ugly stereotype that isn't so much a stereotype this time, eh?"

Petuski spat out the wine he was drinking, while at his side Henrietta the drow matriarch burst into hysterical laughter.

"Ah, the stench is also of bad wine. Very ba-bad mix for a noble's nostrils. Only a drow would d-dare to be around you,” the bard continued, approaching the table limply. Even Petuski eventually burst out laughing.

Unfortunately, Timothy looked up from Gobbles and at the bard, only to find his eyes on him.

Oh no. Oh no, no no.

"I didn't kn-now even malformed elves could sit at the nobles' table," he said loudly, and everyone turned their eyes towards Timothy, his face growing red and hot and his fists clenching under the tablecloth. He ignored the bard, turning his gaze elsewhere.

He felt the weight of the grey elf on the table, directly in front of him. "Oh, were you offended? But no, g-ginger, I didn't mean to offend you. Can we be two crippled friends? We can s-swap crutches and all that stuff!"

Jason pressed both hands to his lips so that he wouldn't burst out laughing at Tim's side, who instead felt the back of his neck freeze and his forehead burn with rage.

He stood abruptly and, clutching the golden handle of his cane in one hand and Gobbles' leash in the other, moved away from the table. "My heartfelt apologies my King, I must go," growled Timothy through gritted teeth, without turning around.

There was a clatter of metal on the marble floor, faster than he thought possible- or perhaps Tim's movements were simply too slow- the bard stood before him, a crooked, wicked smile on his thin greyish lips.

"Hothead, are we? I mean, come on, I didn't mean to upset you! You're cu-cute, I like you. Why don't we d-do a performance together, you and me?"

The bard, Jimmy, smiled sincerely as he did not let Timothy, who was desperate to get out of the room, pass. He felt the eyes of every elf on his back, studying him - watching those two only vaguely elven-looking beasts bicker, two freaks, less than sentient beings at their mercy.

"I p-promise you will like it. Maybe one day people will like you as much as they like me! Maybe. Maybe with a silly little hat on that b-big head..."

At the sound of the nobles' laughter behind him, and the sight of the satisfied smile of that damn freak in front of him, Timothy felt something in him snap.

He let go of the cockatrice's leash.

Fast as ever, strong and full of rage and hatred, he threw a fist into the bard's face, feeling the man's lip split under his knuckles, his teeth breaking flesh and blood bursting forth.

All the bard could do was shut his eyes, almost falling backwards with the force of the punch, his lute falling to the marble floor with an empty wooden thud and a cacophony of snapping strings. Timothy hit him again - in the face, on one eye, on the temple, until the bard fell to the ground. Still Tim hadn’t had enough, and kicked him again once, maybe twice.

When he realised that the laughter had faded and silence had fallen on the room, Timothy's mind cleared enough for him to grasp the rope that served as a leash to Gobbles from beside the elf on the ground, and to yank the cockatrice out of the hall with long strides, and towards his room.

The only sound throughout the entire castle was his heavy, angry breath.

CHAPTER TWO

Timothy's room was, fortunately, located in one of the most isolated wings of the royal castle, where no one could bother him.

Sitting alone on the large double bed, Tim gazed at the excoriated and bloody knuckles of his right hand.

He had never been a violent man. Violence suited neither his meek and reserved nature nor the race to which he belonged, yet he had just beaten the hell out of that malformed elf without a second thought.

The blood on his hand was both his and the bard's, and it was plain to see. Timothy's was a bright and brilliant red, while the bard's was dark and thicker, sticky against his white skin. Their blood mixed in almost psychedelic ways as it flowed over his knuckles, which had been cut open by the bard's teeth. He watched, transfixed, instead of medicating himself, heedless of a few drops ending up on the dusty rug.

He clenched his fist.

No one had ever dared to address him in that tone, using those words. The other elves certainly had those thoughts, but no one dared to express them in words, let alone address them to his face.

But no, that damn bard, all crooked and limp, had found the courage to express them, and laugh at him, and look at him defiantly.

Timothy was not a violent man, but neither was he someone who would be so easily pushed around.

Served him right, Timothy thought then, waking up from the numbness he had collapsed into after reaching his temporary room, and jumping to his feet, causing Gobbles to flinch in the corner of the room where he had been sleeping on a pile of old blankets. He didn't quite know how Gobbles perceived the world, with his completely white, harmless eyes, which Tim assumed were blind. Maybe they really weren't, and Tim didn't care - Gobbles was his lifelong companion, blind or sighted.

Advancing without a cane, his heavy, unsteady legs moving awkwardly and his feet dragging on the floor, he lay down beside his animal and stroked the sparse but soft feathers between his twisted, useless wings.

"It's ok, Gobbles," he whispered softly.

His only regret about that angry outburst was having done it in front of Gobbles, a meek and mild creature who had never seen his master in that mood. Timothy hoped he hadn't really seen it.

"Can you forgive me?"

The cockatrice's serpentine tail wrapped around his leg as its birdlike beak gently tapped and nibbled at his fingers. Yes, Gobbles was a gentle and docile creature, incapable of feeling anger or hatred or embarrassment, unlike Timothy.

The feathers on Gobbles' neck puffed up all of a sudden, and a few moments later there was a knock on the bedroom door.

Tim froze on the spot, regretting not having brought his cane with him. It was a few metres away, leaning against the bed, but he was closer to the door than to the bed.

Whoever was on the other side of the door knocked again.

"Who is it?" Timmy asked, hoping for an answer, but no reply came to his rescue. Typical among nobles.

What if it was an ambassador of the king, recalling his horrible behaviour of a few hours earlier? Maybe it was Stan of the Marshes, ready to drag him by the arm to bow before the king and apologise for his amoral conduct in front of the whole court.

Feeling as though he was swallowing a boulder, Timothy stood up on his frail legs, and in a few short strides leaned against the door, removed the pin that held it shut, and turned the handle.

He had to lower his gaze at least half a metre to look into the elf's unnaturally pale eyes, with their pitch-black pupils in the middle of ice-coloured irises, one of them seeming to float in the blood-red sclera which was squeezed between swollen purple eyelids.

"Can we talk?" the bard said, a big smile on his bloody, broken lips.

Wow, Tim had really beaten him up. In addition to his disgustingly swollen eye and split lips, his cheekbone was bruised, and dried blood and dust in the shape of Timmy’s boots marked his tight, yellow hose. One of the crutches, little more than crudely inlaid branches held together by ragged metal pieces that split in two under his armpits, looked as if it would break in half at any moment.

"No." replied Timothy, trying to slam the door shut, only to find one of the bard's crutches stopping the door from closing.

"I mean come on, you owe me after wha-what you did to me. Look at m-me now! P-pretty p-please, Tim-Tim?"

"Don't call me that. I'm a marquis." hissed Timothy, glaring at the grey elf in front of - and below - him. He knew what he was doing, Tim was no fool. He wanted to play on Tim’s guilt, he wanted to try to manipulate him. Oh, by the gods, how stupid this bloody cripple was.

Timothy would have liked to slam the door in his face, right in his crooked mug, but perhaps beating him up again was not the best thing for his already poor reputation at King Kyle's court.

He opened the door to make sure no one was passing by, pushing the bard aside. No, no one was walking through these corridors. As far as he knew, the rooms adjacent to his were empty, because no one wanted to stay in that gloomy wing of the castle - no one wanted to stay near the marquis whose deformed body carried such a heavy curse, was the truth.

"Did anyone see you on your way here?" asked Timothy, but the other elf had already passed him, walking limply into the room.

"Why? Are you ashamed of me?"

"Yes."

"You are a b-big meanie, Tim-Tim!" chuckled the bard - Jimmy was his name if he remembered correctly - dropping the large pouch he carried on his shoulders to the ground. It must have contained at least the lute and the green cloak, since he currently wore neither. Timothy closed the door, pushed the metal hinge into the wood so that it could not be opened from the outside, and leaned against it as he studied the slow, trembling movements of the bard who had infiltrated his personal chamber.

If he wanted an apology, he would get it. It wouldn't be sincere, but Tim wasn't the type to carry on such pointless squabbles. He approached him and took a breath, ready to express his most insincere apology.

The bard, on the other hand, had other ideas. As soon as Timothy drew near, Jimmy’s big fist crashed into his abdomen, knocking the air from his lungs. The bard rested his other hand on Tim’s arm as he threw another punch at Tim's stomach, and then another until the taller elf fell to the ground, and then he was on him again.

Tim tried to resume breathing, the shock of the blows seeming to have closed off his lungs, but the bard's weight on his body prevented him from doing so. Jimmy forced a large forearm under Tim's chin, putting pressure on his throat.

There was primal and uncontrolled anger in his pale, disturbing eyes. "You made a f-f-fool out of me in front of the king, m-motherfucker.” snarled Jimmy, like a wild beast with blood between his crooked teeth and his grey face livid with fury and bruises.

Tim panicked. He had never been in a fight in his life. No one had ever dared to lay a hand on the scrawny, deformed elf. What was he supposed to do now? Was he going to die like this?

He brought his hands to the bard's face, pushing his fingers into his eyes, lips, nose, everywhere. He pressed on the open wounds and heard the other cry out as he squeezed his eyes shut.

Jimmy bit his fingers; Timmy felt teeth sink deep into his bones, but pressed his thumb against Jimmy’s swollen eye until he felt the heavier elf roll off him, the air rushing back into his tired lungs.

Tim couldn't allow the bard to resume his  attack, so he pounced, grabbing Jim by the hair and slamming his head repeatedly against the floor, which fortunately-for the bard- was covered by a dusty old rug. Jim screamed, his stubby legs flailing as Timothy sat on his pelvis in an attempt to block his every movement. Unfortunately, he had underestimated the bard's strength, who with a violent thrust of his hips knocked Tim off balance, throwing him to the ground at his side.

From that moment on, chaos ensued. He heard the bard shouting insults, and his own voice shouting obscenities in turn with little control. The two of them rolled on the rug in a riot of hands, fists, slaps and scratches, banging shoulders and backs and knees against furniture, cupboards and walls, shoving elbows into stomachs and fingers into eyes, giving painful headbutts forehead to forehead in a frenzy of sweat and blood and saliva and noise and screams and pain.

When Tim found himself with his back against the brick wall and one of the bard's hands in his hair, he surfaced enough from the fog of rage and heat of the fight to realise that this brawl was going nowhere. Why were they fighting?

"Stop it! STOP!" growled Timothy in a tone that was more animalistic than noble elf, slamming a hand into the face of the other elf, who this time did not bite him. His face was hot under Tim’s fingertips, his skin drenched in sweat. "Enough, this isn't leading to fucking anything!"

The bard's large fist clenched around Tim's slender wrist without squeezing. He pulled Tim’s hand away from his face, collapsing limply to the floor. "Fine." he sighed, voiceless and breathless.

Tim was not in much better shape, barely managing to sit up, his back twitching in excruciating pain as he leaned back against the rough wall with the last of his strength.

The room was half-destroyed. Well, only on the lower level, actually. They had knocked over a couple of chairs and all the clothes Tim had laid on top of them, the marquis' travel trunk was splintered, the bed was vaguely shifted, and the bedside table had been tipped over, the bedside lamp abandoned on the mattress.

Next to it, Gobbles was curled up on the covers, shivering and frightened. Oh no.

"Gobbles. No, Gobbles... come here, it's ok." Tim comforted him, trying to get back on his feet but failing. His back ached so much that every movement caused piercing twinges in his ribcage, and the punches he had received to his abdomen were so severe that even moving and sitting up straighter made him want to scream in pain. "Gobbles, come here, good boy." he called, and the cockatrice raised his heavy head, squaring Tim with his blank white eyes.

He stood up on his paws, jumped with difficulty off the bed and hobbled towards Tim, sitting heavily in the marquis' lap, who barely kept himself from screaming in pain. He gritted his teeth and breathed through his nose as the creature snuggled up to him. "It's all right, it's all right," he whispered, stroking the feathers now all ruffled in the terror the cockatrice must have felt during the fight.

Poor thing, he had nothing to do with it.

Gobbles flinched when the bard, Jimmy, moved from the supine position in which he had remained until then. He raised his head, looking at Tim and his pet with a smirk, and though it was not one of mockery, it was still unfriendly. "Well, we've let off st-steam now, haven't we? C-can we talk without biting each other’s throat now?"

"The only one who has bitten here is you." Timothy replied, his wounded and bloodied hand held down so as not to soil the cockatrice's feathers. He could not bend his fingers thanks to the bard’s bite, which had been as deep as it was ferocious.

Jimmy stretched out his big, trembling arms, and with difficulty dragged himself like a worm towards the wall, the same wall Tim was leaning against. He ended up at the marquis' side, too close for his liking, so that when he turned and sat down he ended up with his thigh against Timothy's, and his shoulder pushing him to the side.

"G-give me your hand." the bard ordered. Timothy did not react, staring at him resentfully and with distrust. The grey elf grabbed Tim's wrist, and Tim tried to pull back with a violent jerk, startling the cockatrice on his lap.

They both stopped, but Jimmy's big, calloused fingers stayed firmly around his wrist. "You do-do-doon-don't want to scare your turkey again, do you? I s-said, give me your hand."

No, Timothy did not trust him, not after spending that horrible evening in his company. But what could he do? Kick him out of his room, all bruised and bloodied, with his hose ripped and that lost puppy-dog look in those crooked pale eyes?

Timothy turned his gaze from the bard's face and offered his injured hand, looking away at nothing in particular.

Jimmy's fingers were wide, hard, warm and trembling; strong and weak at the same time. He felt the callused fingertips tracing the edges of his bites -made by him, by the way!- a warmth enveloping his hand that Tim knew well. When he turned to look at what Jimmy was doing, he saw a dim light between his fingers.

Magic.

The bard looked up at the taller elf, like a child caught red-handed in the biscuit jar.

"You know how to use magic?" Timothy asked, and Jimmy nodded, still a little confused.

"A little bit. Just the healing kind, you know, you may have no-noticed I have a bit of trouble containing my ah-anger."

Tim's fingers, which had previously been deep red with open flesh bitten to the bone, were now almost completely intact, a vague reddish wound on the middle and ring fingers the only reminder of that nasty bite.

"Would you be able to heal yourself quickly before leaving this room?"

Jimmy replied with another smirk, not letting go of his hand even though it was almost completely healed. He felt Jimmy's wide fingers slip between his own. "You want to send me away, already?"

"You've done enough already."

"Come on, marquis, it was just a t-tussle to settle the sc- the score. We have so much more to talk about. We're friends now, aren't we?"

The bard sighed, leaning his shoulder against Timothy, who was much taller than him even when sitting. "We could talk about our curses, or..."

Timothy sighed heavily, letting the bard at his side lean against him and run his hand gently down his arm in an all too clingy manner as Gobbles fell asleep heavily on his lap. That Jimmy thought he was smarter than he actually was.

Clearly, he had no room to stay in. Surely the king would not have wasted a room on that freak, whom his son did not even appreciate. Tim thought that perhaps it was also his fault. Perhaps, if he had not reacted that way, someone would have accommodated the bard in their room.

He suspected the bard had not performed in the hall for much longer after being beaten to a bloody pulp by Tim, since instead of getting drunk downstairs as all the bards Tim had known usually did, he was there, in Tim’s room, at that not-so-late hour.

Turning to Jimmy, who was looking him straight in the eye with a hopeful expression, Tim smelled the faint odour of smoke, and of alcohol, though not enough for the bard to be drunk. An elf did not get drunk with the same intensity and ease as other inferior species.

"I can even heal you! Those punches I gave you hurt p-pretty bad, huh?" chuckled Jimmy again, hope now mixed with despair in his eyes that pointed this way and that at the same time.

Timothy clenched his fists.

Could he leave that elf, malformed and injured, stranded in the harsh climate of the northern kingdom?

Was this something Tim's strict morals would allow him to do; was it a cruelty he could carry out without feeling guilty for centuries to come?

The answer was easy, unfortunately.

No.

As loud, bossy and annoying as Jimmy was, a ball and chain at Tim’s ankle and a thorn in his side, he was at the same time an imperfect creature just like himself. He was an outcast; an elf who could barely be considered as such and, above all, someone who desperately needed him.

"...all right, you can sleep here for the night. Shortly after dawn I will leave to return to my castle."

Clinging to his arm, Jimmy giggled, like a young girl might when attending her companion's wedding and dreaming of her own Prince Charming. "Oh my b-beautiful lord, you are so generous to let me sleep on your bed!"

"I am a marquis! And I never spoke of-!"

Jimmy broke away from him, beginning to crawl pathetically over the rug, rippling it and pulling portions of it behind him, all the way to the bed onto which he hoisted himself by clinging to its wooden frame, his strong biceps aided in part by his legs, which were not completely unresponsive. “I haven't slept on a bed in uhh... years? About ten or twenty! In Kupa Keep they used to m-make me sleep on the floor, in a stable. Straw is better than hard wood soiled with horse shit, th-that's true, but you can't imagine how many nasty little bugs luh-luh-luuh-... hide in it."

As gently as he could, Tim woke Gobbles, who struggled to raise his head, his long, thin neck turning in Tim’s approximate direction. Timothy lifted him up and leaned against his side as, clinging with difficulty to the bricks that barely protruded from the wall, he rose to his feet. His legs trembled, his knees ached with the strain of keeping the weight of his long, lean body on them, his back sent excruciating stabs of pain and his stomach had turned completely inside out from the punches. Tim tugged his shirt from his trousers, lifting it almost to his bony chest. Large, heavy purple bruises covered the alabaster-white skin of almost his entire abdominal region, from his ribs down to his navel. And they hurt like hell.

Timothy sagged against the wall behind him, sighing and searching for the strength to walk towards his bed. Why had he come here... couldn't he have just stayed at home and sent some servant to deliver that unicorn for the prince?

At his feet, metal clanked. His cane rolled towards him from where he had left it propped against the bed, before... everything happened.

He grabbed it with difficulty and leaned against it, breathing a sigh of relief. It was Jimmy, now lying awkwardly on his stomach on Timothy's bed, who had tossed it to him. He was smiling at him, his broad arms dangling lazily off the mattress.

"You said you de-decided to leave at dawn. You'd b-b-better come to sleep, it's not that many hours until s-sunrise now."

He did not like how the bard was taking so many liberties with him, the Marquis of BlackLake, but at the same time it was a comfort to have someone who spoke so freely to him, who wanted to speak not to someone else but to him, and in such an intimate context.

Timothy regretted a little that it would all be over in a few hours, but at the same time he was relieved. That Jimmy was a bitch.

Tim slumped towards the bed, bracing himself wearily against the mattress, at Jimmy's side. He would have liked to wear his own soft and comfy nightgown, but undressing under the icy-white gaze which would surely be fixed on him the whole time was not really something Tim wanted to do.

He just wanted to sleep, now.

He lay down as far away from Jimmy as possible - difficult to do, since the bard had decided to lie right in the middle of the bed, and despite how short and hunched he was, his shoulders were wide enough to occupy a good portion of the bed - and with a gesture of his fingers extinguished the torches that hung from the ceiling. It was a little magic that had served him well in his childhood, growing up unable to move and confined to a chair in his lonely castle.

"Wow!" he heard Jimmy say. He would rather not hear his voice, in the dark.

With a rustling of blankets, the familiar weight of Gobbles settled by his side, the cockatrice’s head resting on Timmy’s chest, demanding attention and cuddles before sleep as he had done every night for more than a century, his feathers all ruffled and soft under Timmy's tired hand.

And then, similarly, came more blanket shuffling, and a far less familiar weight on the other side of the bed: Jimmy's heavy head on his shoulder and his large hand slamming clumsily just above Timothy's bruised abdomen, causing him to hiss in pain. He did not chase the bard away just because, in the darkness of the room, he felt the warmth and saw the faint light of the healing magic the bard was applying to his aching body.

In the half-light he observed the cockatrice sleeping peacefully against his chest, the twisted and mangled body of a deformed beast who had found a safe haven in someone who could appreciate and love him. And then he passed his gaze over the deformed elf resting limply against his shoulder, his back hunched and his ears curved in an unnatural position, his tousled hair falling softly over his injured face and over Timothy's shoulder, his face relaxed almost into a smile.

Timothy cursed himself under his breath.

CHAPTER THREE

At dawn, as punctual as the bells of the capital city, the sharp gurgling of Gobbles the cockatrice signalled that the new day had begun, and it was time to wake up. It had been so for Timmy every dawn for the last few centuries. What had not been so was the jolting weight that fell suddenly upon his body.

"Shit! What the fah-fuck!? So scary! Fuck!"

Tim opened his eyes, the smile fading from his lips.

Oh, yeah. Right.

Jimmy.

He opened his eyes to find the bard sitting at his side, a frightened expression on his grey face, which was decidedly less swollen and purple than the previous evening. Gobbles was still singing in the dawn, and only stopped his cries to the rising sun when Timmy began lazily scratching the spot behind his eyes.

"G-gh-good morning, my lord." mused the bard once he had recovered from his fright, leaning heavily on one arm, the sun rising behind him and tinting his lead-coloured hair, not blue and not grey, neither black nor purple, with a soft golden halo. In that light, in the gloom, with that gentle smile and broad shoulders and soft, tousled hair, he almost looked like someone Timothy would like to wake up next to every morning.

Sadly, Jimmy also had the gift of speech.

"I slept reeeeally well on this b-bed, my lord, but that hen snores, very much. You duh-don't snore. But you are a little still and cold. It doesn't m-mah-matter, I've kept you warm, scrawny as you are, you d-definitely needed it! Ah, I'm soooooo tired, I've sp-pent a lot of energy healing you... maybe you could let me sleep here a little lo-longer, huh?" he blurted, lazily settling back into the bed, his head on the same pillow Timothy was still lying on. Tim hadn't understood half the words the bard had blurted out. He didn't really care.

The bard shifted and rested his head right on Timmy's long ear, tugging on the earring-studded tip. Timothy had to pull back because Jimmy didn't seem to want to move, his face far too close to Tim's, his breath hot on the marquis' freckled, flushed face.

Timothy sat up, tired of the closeness, and tired in general. "It is time for me to get ready, I must leave for my castle. The journey is long."

He saw the bard's pale pink tongue sticking out from between his greyish lips. "You can undress in front of me if you want. Go right ahead, come on. It's fine with me... m-more than fine!"

Arrogant little grey bastard.

Jimmy pulled his big arms behind his head and arched his back in a motion which was halfway between the languorous stretch of a lazy cat and a disgustingly obscene pose. Nevertheless, Tim kept watching him, unwillingly bewitched.

"Do you want me to undress f-first, so that you might feel less embarrassed...?"

“No!”

The bard sighed, struggling to sit up on the bed. It broke the strange spell Tim had fallen into, and he could finally look away, away from that body, so deformed and yet, and yet so...

"I'm leaving now, d-don't worry. But first I want something."

Timothy grabbed the cane leaning against the side of the bed and clutched it between his fingers, ready to violently kick the bard out of the room if he dared to try blackmailing him, or ask for money. Tim would accept no compromise. What did that bard want from him? Why did he seem so obsessed with him, what on earth had his mind - not particularly brilliant or capable of complex subterfuges and plans, Timothy thought maliciously - found of interest in the deformed marquis of a distant and not particularly rich or famous region?

Yet the bard smiled slyly, his stubby, crooked legs dangling over the edge of the mattress. "A kiss?"

Timothy widened his eyes, which pricked with the sudden sting of wetness. He quickly blinked back the unshed tears. A kiss?

A kiss?

The marquis jumped to his feet, waking up Gobbles, who lazily ruffled his feathers and, with a slowness and calm which was at odds with the tension and embarrassment that had fallen over the room, jumped off the mattress and hobbled over to the corner, on top of the clothes that had fallen to the floor the night before, to continue his morning nap.

Tim did not pay too much attention to this, because his entire focus was on the bard and his proposal.

'I won't t-tell anyone, pinkie swear. I just want to steal a l-l-little kiss, so how about that? I'll disappear afterwards, I promise." continued Jimmy, whose words were certainly reassuring, but whose smirk and vague blush said otherwise.

Tim stood still, pondering the situation.

Physical contact was frowned upon in Elvish society, intimacy seen as something superfluous for creatures who lived nearly a millennium, and reserved for securing a future for their kind. To elves, it was associated with those inferior creatures whose minds and souls were confined to the lowest existential plane.

But... but Tim wanted to kiss Jimmy, and push him onto the mattress, and feel the heat of his body against him again, this time with more force and passion...

Ah, what was the point of abiding by the social norms of his race if he did not even meet its physical requirements?

“Why?” the marquis asked, hiding all those thoughts behind a simple yet difficult question.

Jimmy, arms outstretched behind him, white irises watching the floor and the ceiling at the same time, shrugged his arched shoulders dismissively. "Why not? You're c-cute. I like gingers, very much. And b-besides, you and I are different from all the other elves, aren't we? J-juh-just you and me in this whole castle. Maybe even in the whole kingdom. I've never k-kissed anyone like you... like me."

Timothy lowered his gaze, staring at the sack Jimmy had brought the night before; a medium-sized, filthy heap of fabric into which the entire load of Jimmy’s  lengthy middle-aged life had been condensed. But his mind was elsewhere.

He sounded sincere. He had no reason to lie. If Jimmy wanted to find comfort in someone, who better than a similar soul; who better than Tim? 

Could Tim find comfort in Jimmy, in turn?

"Fine." he replied simply, perhaps not completely lucid, newly awake after a restless night, still with the memory of the knuckles and elbows of that same elf that was now waiting on the bed with open arms.

The marquis made his way over, placing one knee on the mattress beside Jimmy, who was looking at him like a stray dog waiting for a hot meal, fervent and excited, his cross-eyed eyes wide open and his wet, pink tongue dampening his still-wounded lips.

"Will you leave afterwards?"

"I will do anything you want, my lord," whispered Jimmy, in a tone totally different from any he had heard the night before and that very morning.

Tim’s thigh brushed against the bard's, and he rested his hands on his broad, solid shoulders - it was the first time he had touched Jimmy without intending to hurt him, and under Timothy's fingertips the yellow shirt - what a clownish colour without dignity or seriousness! –seemed thinner than it looked. He could feel the warmth of his skin under it, the tense muscle of someone who walked and stood only by the strength of his arms, which were now stretched behind his body.

All right, it was about time. It wasn't the first time Timothy had kissed someone, of course, but... how many centuries had passed since he had refused to take a wife and continue his family, trying to break the curse that had haunted his family tree for who knows how many generations, so many that he had lost count of the millennia of elven history?

Timothy bent over the other elf, shorter than him by quite a bit, who did not seem to move in anticipation. He couldn't tell if he was looking at him, due to his eyes pointing in every direction except at Tim himself, but from his smile he really seemed incredibly amused.

Tim moved closer until he felt the tip of his nose against Jimmy's, and still the bard didn't move. His breath warmed Timothy's lips, and the instinct to pull back was as strong as it was to jump on him and shove his tongue down his throat.

"D-do it, what are you waiting for?" whispered Jimmy, close enough that Timmy could feel his lips moving, and for a moment Timothy just listened, unable to react. "I know you want it. You want it even m-more than I do. You hypocrite."

How he would have loved to hit him again-

He slammed his lips against Jimmy’s in a burst of anger, with his mouth closed and no more thought; he pushed forward with such fury that he tipped the bard back onto the mattress, Tim on top of him.

Tim squeezed his eyes shut, He felt Jimmy's hot tongue against his lips, and his teeth against his tongue, and his breath like steam on his face.

One of the bard's big arms looped around his shoulders, the other around his waist, his thighs tightening around Tim's hips; Jimmy clung to him as though his very life depended on it.

The kiss was little more than a frenzied mess of spit and teeth, more painful than it was pleasant. Jim's teeth kept unintentionally clenching on Timothy's tongue and lips - or maybe it was all on purpose? - and Timmy in turn paid no attention to it,  instead pushing, licking, and clinging to the body beneath him, which was soft and hard at the same time and hot, so hot.

Timothy only snapped back to reality when, beneath him, Jimmy struggled to break away from the kiss that was lasting far too long, tipping his head back and taking a loud breath at the top of his lungs. Only then did Tim remember to breathe too, his face hot and his lips aching.

Jimmy was chuckling, but this laugh was a lighthearted giggle of hilarity; the bard seemed genuinely happy. His face was now more pink than grey and his dark and silver hair clung to his sweat-drenched forehead. His lips were red and swollen.

Without thinking, pushing aside the moral rules and the animosity he felt for that profiteer bastard, Tim reached out his hand and brushed the wet hair from his face. Jimmy responded with an almost innocent smile.

Ah, damn, he was adorable...

"S-se-second round?" whispered Jimmy, his face still close to Tim's, too close to say no. So Tim said nothing; unhurriedly closed his eyes and slowly leaned into  Jimmy again, relaxing into the pressure of his soft lips and the tickling warmth of his breath.

The tension in both of them seemed to have dissolved completely. Jimmy's large hands were gentle as he stroked the bony expanse of the marquis' gaunt back. Tim's hands roamed across the hard muscle of Jimmy's shoulders and down his broad chest, and at Timothy's light touch on his large pecs, the bard responded with a soft giggle against his lips, shifting slightly beneath him.

The tips of their noses bumped a couple of times as they tried to find the right angle for a better kiss, and Jimmy replied with another whispered giggle, and Tim with a smile.

Gobbles started to sing.

And a few moments later, knock-knock.

The handle of the chamber door rattled noisily a couple of times, its hinges loosened by wear and tear and old age, with an annoying metallic clang.

"Marquis Burch?" came the voice of one of Timothy's servants, a distant, dissonant echo from outside the door. "The door is locked- Marquis? Marquis!"

Tim lifted himself up on his elbows with an angry snarl, but Jimmy was of a different mind, still clinging to him, his hands clawing at Tim’s back as he pulled him down, towards himself.

"What do you want?" Timothy growled at the servant beyond the door.

"Marquis, it is almost time to go, I didn't see you among the other nobles at breakfast in the..."

Timothy was barely listening, truth be told. Jimmy was still kissing him, leaving little kisses at the corner of his mouth, along his jawline, up to his ear, a dangerous game that Tim was not avoiding in any way. On the contrary. It tasted like adolescence, a boyish game in which Timothy, in his lonely youth, had never participated.

"Yes, I'm coming. Give me-"

That damned bard chose that exact moment to press his tongue behind Tim’s ear. Tim bit his lower lip to prevent himself from letting a loud moan escape, and the bard snickered quietly as he moved off the spot, leaving a cooling streak of spit between the marquis' ear and hairline.

Little arrogant bastard.

"Marquis, are you alright…?"

"I'm fine!" Timothy replied hurriedly, glaring at the bard below him, who was grinning with mischievous glee.

He wanted to play? Well then they would play.

"I'll get ready now, I just overslept," Tim said with confidence and pressed his hand to the bard's chest, under his crooked, pale, and now very curious gaze.

He caressed Jimmy’s chest through his shirt, barely touching the bard's nipples and feeling the telltale hardness of metal under his fingers. The bastard wore a nipple ring. Really, it was no surprise. Timmy should have expected it from him. He gripped the ring between his forefinger and thumb and, without warning, tugged it through the fabric. Jimmy hissed through clenched teeth, the tone of his voice high with pain - and probably something else.

"Is there someone with you?!" the servant's voice was all too surprised at the thought of Timothy with someone, and that annoyed the marquis quite a bit.

Was the thought of Timothy being intimate with someone so extraordinary? After all, who would ever lie with an ugly and deformed being, a cursed creature, if not obliged by the very marriage bond that Timothy had decided not to contract? This was what he thought, this was what everyone thought, even his own servants?

For just half a morning he had stopped thinking about the awful world he was forced to live in and the rules he was forced to abide by, but that society seemed to nag and follow him with even more relentless intensity than that bard did.

"No. It's just Gobbles," lied the marquis, letting go of the bard underneath him, whose hand immediately went to soothe the pain at his chest. "Now go away, what are you still doing here?" Tim finished, and the sound of the servant's receding footsteps indicated that he was indeed gone.

And now what?

Timothy should have shouted those words at the bard who had slipped into his room the previous night and dared to hit him, but instead that bard was in Tim’s bed, his calloused fingers on Tim’s face and, as soon as the servant's footsteps were so far away that they were indistinguishable, his lips on Tim’s again.

"You have to go." Tim's words were half-hearted and addressed to no one really. To Jimmy, or to himself?

Jimmy nodded, his eyes half-closed and his eyelids heavy and purplish, one swollen and darker than the other, though definitely less than the night before. He brought his hand to Tim's reddened lower lip- sore after so many kisses and bites, swollen and warm and delicate to Jimmy’s touch- and wiped away a streak of saliva which  probably belonged to both of them, gently, almost sweetly.

"I know." he replied, with a disarming simplicity to which Tim could not respond. Too many feelings were coursing through him, all at the same time. He was intimidated by them, and confused.

Timothy slid to the side, over blankets cooled by the cold winter morning of the northern kingdom, limply abandoning himself to the mattress whose chill contrasted so sharply with the warmth of the bard who was struggling to sit up in the middle of the bed.

The bard’s crutches were lying on the floor, not far from the bed, close enough that Jimmy could grab one and, with its help, bring the other close.

Putting pressure on his large forearms, the bard stood, slipping the wooden and metal crutches under his armpits to hold up his heavy and massive - and warm and attractive and very comfortable - body.

The marquis lay tiredly on the bed and watched that enemy, stranger, lover, slip into the heavy green cloak which he kept in the tattered sack, covering his body once more. He watched him, sack slung over his shoulder, fight against the lock of the door with his clumsy fingers. And Timothy simply could not move, this time not because of the pain in his weak joints.

Jimmy turned one last time, a wide, crooked grin on his half swollen, half flushed face. "See you, my lord."

Without elegance, the elf drew himself slowly through the doorway and from the sight of Timothy, who still did not know whether to feel relief or bitterness at knowing Jimmy was now, once and for all, out of his life.

In the bed in the corner of the room, where he had been comfily curled up, Gobbles awoke, and tried to climb onto the bed, and failed the first time. His crooked little legs clung to the covers in vain, and he fell backwards onto the carpet with an almost comical thud. Timothy sighed, rolling onto the bed just to grab Gobbles and lift him up, helping him with  his efforts. The cockatrice jumped awkwardly onto the bed, flapping his useless, crooked basilisk wings, and dropped right where Jimmy had been lying just before, taking advantage of the warmth left on the blankets by the elf.

More footsteps sounded, announcing the return of his servant, who this time found the door ajar. The servant opened it wide and looked to where the marquis lay on the bed, still dressed in the previous evening's clothes, rumpled and bruised, gaze lost in the void.

"Marquis...?" he asked again, and Timothy lifted his head to stare at him with hatred and anger, irises now green, now blue, infused with pure magic, iridescent and never the same colour.

"I know, by the Gods! Fine, whatever! Is my bath ready?!" barked Timothy, more nervous than usual, rising to his feet with snappy movements.

"Well, it was ready almost an hour ago..." the servant muttered as his lord retrieved his own walking cane. The marquis’ grip on the cane was strong and angry, his knuckles poking out from ivory-coloured skin.

"...but now the water will be cold!" the servant complained. Timothy walked past him, unconcerned.

“That's better." growled Tim, adjusting himself in the trousers that were fortunately large enough to hide the painful erection which had remained untouched until that moment- and hoping that a cold bath would take away the heavy feeling of guilt in his chest, and frustration from his crotch.

[smol-feralgremlin]

Get to Know a Character from my Wip

Done got tagged by @andromedaexists

I'm going to pick Theo from my wip The Wandering Order(this title really needs to change, oh boy)

Relationship Status:

Currently pining after a certain Wanderer.

Favorite Color:

He's refused to have one favourite colour, not after Wren called him "a peacock of a man"

Blue, green, purple, and gold.

He's incorporated them into his long coat with its design of peacock feathers. He's styled himself as the Peacock Bard for this.

Favorite Food:

Curry. Loves curry. Will eat his weight in curry if he has the money for it. Complains that Praikan curry is not quite right, but he'll eat it because it's curry.

Song Stuck In Their Head:

Whatever he's trying to compose at the moment. Wren is unhelpful and he keeps losing where he is because of some comment or another she makes.

Last Thing They Searched:

The case of his fiddle for another gods blasted string.

Time:

"I don't know, midday? It's cloudy so I can't quite tell. Hey Wren! What time is it?"

Last Thing They Read:

The board in the middle of a town square for something that would

Last Book They Enjoyed Reading:

A book of poems, most of them of an erotic nature. He'll tell you its for the beautiful descriptions so he can use them in composing his songs. Bit of misdirection, because he also used some of the more erotic stuff to get some extra tips when he was pulled into playing for a group of young men. He did earn some good money for that one.

Favorite Thing To Cook/Bake:

Campfire oat cakes

Favorite Thing To Do In Their Free Time:

Nap. Genuinely, Theo loves his naps. Travelling by foot for the most part is not easy. That fiddle gets heavy after awhile. Not to mention that a not small part of that time is spent dodging the Scouts and trying to avoid military outposts and groups.

A close second is just sitting quietly and playing his fiddle to match the scene around him.

Most Niche Dislike:

The rhyming inconsistencies other traveling bards have when performing really old songs. Wren has had to drag him from more than one tavern when he started getting riled up about it.

"They should know better! It's not proper and its sloppy to the ear of anyone who knows!" "Let it go." "Absolutely NOT!" "Then we're leaving. There's another place that has a good hot chicken pie."

Opinion On Circuses:

He grew up in a circus so he's fond of them. Unfortunately his parents owned the circus he grew up in and they forcibly enlisted him in the military after they had a massive freak out about his "lack of manliness"

Circuses outside of his parents though are great though.

Do They Have A Good Sense Of Direction?:

It's pretty decent, but he does mess up on occasion. The one little ditty he composed after an Encounter has him rescuing an unnamed Wanderer from the two cockatrices. Wren just rolls her eyes and goes back to her drink.

tagging -> @fearofahumanplanet @dogmomwrites @adtula @ghost-town-story

[write-hand-side]

It’s been 8 years. Three years of training, and on the last year, when he could finally get out of his service, they got news of Elydia laying siege to the Western Fortress. He hadn’t realized things could get worse than academy days.

Beside him, Rynsed pushes himself up to his knees, eyes unfocused and alarmed where they land on his. His hair is matted and wild with blood, and his 8 years means he knows exactly what Kirin means by rain.

Across from him the general barks a laugh.

“Insane. Of course.” He turns to his men with a snide smile. “I told you, didn’t I? We couldn’t catch the code because there wasn’t one.”

For an Elydian, that’s almost surprising. They’re a superstitious lot, even for a fighting clan, and there’s no shortage of mages or Lesser Living in their ranks, besides.

For an Elydian, it’s remarkably non-superstitious. Even living in military camps, there can’t be any shortage of mages or Lesser Living to keep them apprehensive.

Perhaps he’s just stupid. Perhaps he is crazy. Kirin certainly felt crazy back then.

The academy was posh and pristine, something for noble second sons and the luckiest guards’ sons. Even with a put-upon accent, everything else about Kirin stuck at odds, like a cowlick on a groom. A boy like him — and he was a boy then, though he hasn’t been in years — didn’t belong near Central, too far to tend at fields and too shaded to tan his face.

Still, he knows the bishop showed more mercy than most would have when he found Kirin with the cockatrice.

He hadn’t known about the poison then — he was a boy, only a boy, and every child made mistakes. But. Well. Most kids’ mistakes weren’t murder, and the Bishop’s draft had been a kindness over the other villagers finding out that he’d been playing with a cockatrice by the freshwater.

Either way, there was little choice, and then Kirin was a Western Villager in the Central Capitol.

He was put with the Spearman for a week, an effort, he’s sure, to push him as far as they could in the “right” path away from the animals and into a hunting brigade.

They moved him by the week’s end.

They tried the Armsmen next, and, when that didn’t work, the Line Closers, the Swordsmen, the Armor Front, and the Crease Breakers; on and on for long weeks and lucky seasons, where Bishop and Headmaster tentatively relaxed in the quiet before another transfer demand.

The mages were a last choice. Inyed’s was sparse in its use of magic and military mages were only even instated in the last century. That made it an interesting mix of tight-knit and closely monitored that meant the Bishop and Head were always a little too aware that they didn’t know all Kirin did under cover of his comrades.

There were no more transfer orders.

He would have gladly learned there, let them control his movements and teach him to never catch another eye. Of course, he was encouraged to work past that, but three years of service, even with only two under mage unit command, meant he was more than equipped to return to his village and make a living. Even if they had found out in the intervening years of his role in the village poisoning, inadvertent as it had been, he’d be able to make do just fine in a neighboring village and keep in contact with his family in a way his Bishop-read, military-approved, quarter-annual, one-way letters from the Capital could never come close to. Either way, he wouldn’t know his family’s views until he visited.

And he’d never know after the Western Encroach took their village.

It helps to think about it sometimes, to imagine their faces and their unmarked, curtained corpses every time he needs the power to kill. Here, on the battlefield, he doesn’t hesitate.

“Any last words, Commander?”

In one smooth movement, the cold steel of the general’s sword comes to a rest beneath his chin and Kirin glances up.

“You really don’t believe me,” he says absently.

It’s a wonder sometimes that he keeps managing to pull this one off.

A huff. “Even the heavens opening up won’t help you. I’ll take that as a no, then?”

“Well, maybe not the heavens, no, but it doesn’t have to be rain water for it to be a rain-“

-drop.

The first scream rings out.

The general’s head snaps over and Kirin takes a quiet stand and steps back.

“I never said it was just a rain shower, General.”

His eyes shoot back to Kirin’s, frantic and wide, still uncomprehending as dragonflame lights the air and more men fall. It’s an understandable confusion, he supposed.

Even in Elydia, it was rare to find a Beast Speaker.

“You gaze upon your crushed army and my massed forces, why do you smile?”. The captured general looked to the cloudless sky before answering “Because it’s about to rain”

[despair-to-future-arcs]

How’s everyone?

'Relieve that the papers were done cause dang, they were very boring but at least we won't have to do that anymore.'

Yeah no kidding, but tomorrow we got shit to take care of.

Indeed we need to get the key cards from their respective locations to get the briefcases.

Really Fusako? Do you know where it is?

Yes I do believe so, even if I don't remember the tragedy, I do at least remember where I put the card key and we did speak with Kyoko, Byakuya and Makoto of what is to happen which they inform Future Foundation; I believe me and Takuma are going with Kyosuke Munakata.

Same with me and Juzo Sakakura, while Coach Nekomaru is out for the fight, I can at least do something to help out and put a stop to some stuff.

Same with me and Tomohiko with the chairmen and Daisaku Bandai, mostly as ours isn't guarded by despairs but something else...

Something...else?

Indeed, instead of the despairs; they are protected by my clan, the hoofed horned devils, the cockatrices of dawn, the slothful beast of filth and other creatures I've train well!

...What?

I think he means goats, chickens, pigs and other farm animals.

Exactly, seems Hajime has learn how I work, even by their appearance they are creatures you don't want to cross, especially if you value your life.

And they are train very well, all Tomohiko needs to do is call them off and then we shall get in!

Oh but it seems another foundation is coming to assist us so we need to be careful as well.

Well I suppose we should then, just be careful when out there.

Right, I guess for now; the rest of us will stay here then.

Yeah while myself and Mikan need to look at our time at Hope's Peak as well, so there's that.

'Whoa whoa, I'm not sure I heard but did Hiyoko not insult Mikan, that's a first!'

What? The hell, sorry I don't understand...

She says that she's surprise you didn't insult Mikan which I gotta agree, what happen?

Look, I'm just...I'm tired from the therapy session, I'm... not in the best mood, especially after some... revelations I discover.

Well okay Hiyoko, just try and take it easy...

... (Speaking of Mikan, I notice she's over at Nagi's table again.)