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muthaz-rapapa · 6 years ago

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Precure Super Stars: Best MHPC Moments

Other than the All Stars movie, this is the last time we’ll be seeing them on any screen for a while so of course I have to take a thousand screencaps to re-etch their image in my heart forever.

;_____________;

Also this is about the only thing that actually made me happy about this movie.

Warning: Spoilers, no cut and long post ahead.

AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

They can be doing the most mundane things and I’d still go crazy over how cute my girls are! x333

And the sweet smell was likely KiraPati falling from the sky along with Ichika and the others.

How those girls found a portal to the Magic World, we’ll probably never know but whatever.

My heroes~!!!

<3333

Haha, a little unfortunately for Mirai, she caught a bigger load than the other two did which ends up giving her slightly more trouble in maneuvering her broom.

Like needing to dodge hitting the rooftops, pillars, buildings...

...and crash-landing straight into the lake.

But she still managed!

That’s my Mirai! *so proud of her* ( ^ω^ )

Mirai and Riko going into squealing Mommies mode at the sight of Hugtan because it brings back memories of when they were raising Ha-chan together is just...it’s just...

...*breaks down crying* I’m sorry, it’s just too nostalgic in here...

And them not noticing Harry was hilarious. xDD;;;

Don’t mind, Harry~ (^ ^ ;)

I do say, I think MahoPre had the fiercest close-ups.

But then again, I didn’t have a lot of attention to spare for the other groups since I was so preoccupied with fawning over these three so I wouldn’t know, eheh~

Also, Sapphire Style~ <D

To be honest, this thing where the lead Cure gets separated from her group is very old already. But what makes it annoying is when they’re deliberately singled out in an All Stars movie so that for the majority of the movie, she can only interact with the other lead Cures...which is also old.

Something similar happened in All Stars Memories, too, but I don’t think that lasted too long and the circumstances were slightly different.

Anyway, this is another pattern Toei refuses to break and it irks me.

On another note, Riko is so quick to realize Usobakka’s next move and to act on it with Ha-chan to buy time for Mirai to escape with the others.

Cuz unlike them who can still use magic in their civilian forms, Ichika and Hana can’t. So they need at least one person who does have that power to stay behind in order to protect the others.

My girls are so grown-up! *wipes tear*

And this is a moment of anguish for me because for those of us who actually watched MahoPre in its entirety, we all know that Mirai does not do well when she’s forced apart from her friends (this is the reason why I cannot watch ep 49 without crying my heart out every. single. time!).

But the determined look Riko gives her stops Mirai from panicking and it’s this wordless exchange...

...down to the very last message conveyed even through their eye contact that tells everybody how well these two really understand each other.

And that’s only possible for people who have really, really, really close bonds.

Particularly the Cures that start out as pairs like Black & White.

That duality characteristic that’s present in their relationship is something that sets them apart from the other Cures.

It’s a very deep partnership. One that transcends even the boundaries of friendship.

And I hope that I’m not the only person who thought this but Mirai taking the lead here in the middle of all the chaos that’s happening really makes the whole situation look like her maternal instincts have kicked in and she’s gotta usher these young’uns away from the danger as fast as possible.

I’d say “senpai” but the Maho girls have matured so much, that term doesn’t feel like it’s enough to describe them, lol.

Excuse me for a second...*AHEM*...

ACCIO BROOM!

...ok, I’m done.

BWUAHAHA, Harry complaining ‘bout how they’re not moving fast enough and Mirai pretty much almost yelling back “It’s above the normal weight limit, pipe down, I’m driving!”

xDDD;;;;

Every time the girls use magic, I just go “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” cuz it’s just that awesome.

Magic is awesome.

God, I love MahoPre so damn much!

Technically, they did later on when they popped the bubbles by filling it up on the inside and that wouldn’t have happened if they didn’t use magic so Riko was right in attempting to all along.

Just as planned, eh, Riko? Hehe.

Ha-chan takes after Mirai and then some.

*squeals* I wanna hug my flower child all day long~! x3333

LMAO, man, the others must’ve been stuck in there for hours and are likely starving by now.

Ha-chan is so nice to provide for everyone. A true Mother Goddess.

AOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

XDDDDDD

This warms my heart like nothing else in the world can.

The faith they have in each other~ <3333

Also, Ha-chan is like super, ultra, beyond comprehension ADORABUBBLE~!!!!!!

She’s like *PLOP!* “Don’t worry~!”

KYAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Riko loves her wife.

Very much.

( ~ ∀ ^ )

And Ha-chan loves her mommies. <33

MOFURUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN~!!!!

I just realized I haven’t fangirled over her yet.

C’mere, cutie! *huggles her* x333

Ha-chan... (^ ∀ ^ ;;)

This speaks for itself.

And is the most important moment in the whole movie.

SHUT UP, IT IS!

lol, Riko naturally reaching hold up to hold her hat in place when they drop outta the monster’s stomach.

And then there’s Ha-chan who’s all “YEARSH, I’M OUT!!!”

HAVE YOU SEEN MY MIRACLE RAY OF SUNSHINE?!?!?!?!

ISN’T SHE THE MOST BEAUTIFULEST?!?!?!?!!?

ALEXANDRITE STYLE!!!!

...I’m gonna be such a wreck after I finish watching All Stars Memories.

And it’s all because of these girls.

Here’s a quick snap of Felice catching Yell.

She quite good at that.

*sighs contently*

<333

...Ok, here are the rest:

I’m surprised flowers didn’t start blooming everywhere like a hurricane around them cuz ‘m pretty sure the Yukari Touch™ is one of the few human abilities that can activate Ha-chan’s latent goddess powers.

You’re a talking hamster, Harry.

Why is this so strange to you?

From “mouse” to an “egg”.

Poor Harry keeps getting demoted everyday. ^^;

Of course, Mirai is making cookies in the shape of Mofurun.

And is Mofu-baby posing for reference?

Cutie bear~

Again with the strawberry melon pan. ^^;

THESE FOUR ARE THE ONLY ONES HOLDING HANDS IN THE ENDING!

AND MOFURUN ISH SO TINY!

ANDAND FELICE LOOKS SO SERENE AND AT PEACE IN HER PRIME HABITAT!!

ANDANDAND MIRACLE AND MAGICAL LOOKING SO IN LOVE!!!!!!!!

*JUST CRIES UNCONTROLLABLY FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK*

#crap i still haven't gotten around to rewatching and writing out episode reviews for MHPC yet #i need to find time to do that cuz once All Stars Memories is done I'm going to be in denial forever #until the next All Stars anniversary maybe #mahou tsukai precure #precure super stars #cure miracle #cure magical #cure felice #asahina mirai #izayoi riko #Hanami Kotoha #ha-chan #mofurun

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stargleeksil-blog · 7 years ago

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Criminal Minds s06e04 “Compromising Positions” review - or more aptly named, my goddess steps up to the challenge and descends from on high to help the mortals, loses her shit a bit, but then my puppy calms her down XD

Episode 04 – Compromising Positions

Hey guys! So last episode was all kinds of gross, and I’m hoping this will purge my retinas because I don’t think I can take it out of my head … that image of an old dude peeing his undershorts.

Bah.

Anyway, let’s see what happens.

Oh baby, sexy music. I like this one already XD

Sex in a car? Steamy.

Wait. The unsub is making them have sex in front of him? Well, that’s creepy. Fuck.

Damn.

And I’m still jealous of that fucking mug.

“Hey, good news.”

What?

“Ellie just got placed with a foster family, so, fingers crossed.”

Aw, that’s so awesome!

“Oh, that’s great. I’m happy for her.”

Me, too.

Wait. That couple wasn’t the only one? Oh damn.

“One week? That’s not much of a cooling-off period.”

Stating the obvious much?

“The Son of Sam had a short cooling-off period. He also attacked couples in cars.”

So it could be a copycat?

“Yeah, but the first couple were killed in their house.”

Guess not.

“He crosses racial lines.”

So not a racist asshole.

“And socio-economic ones.”

Well, that unchecks another box.

“That’s a big chance in crime scenes, car versus house. Two radically different MOs.”

“Not to mention he subdues two people. That takes a lot of skill.”

Gross.

“Is this right? They found a used condom on both the husbands?” What now?

“And both had Viagra in their systems and neither had a prescription.”

You need a prescription for that? Okay, good to know. And also, that unsub is one sadistic fucker that I don’t care to meet at any given moment.

“So the unsub gives the men Viagra and then forces them to have sex before he kills them.”

“And given the timetable, he’s gonna strike again soon.”

“Wheels up in three hours.”

Oh damn.

Hello, my darling goddess!!!!

“Garcia. What’s that?”

“My go bags.”

Your what bags?

“Where are you going?”

“With you, hopefully.”

Oh my darling honey, I love you so fucking much.

“Sir, I think we’re all still reeling since JJ left, and we are a man down, and you need a communication liaison.”

Wow. Seriously? AWESOME!

“Garcia …”

“Sir, please, hear me out. My job overlapped with JJ’s the most. I created the program that she used to present cases.”

Oh my god, I love her so much and how she’s eager to please and help.

“When you guys were out in the field, she coordinated your needs through me. It makes sense.”

“Garcia, there are aspects of the job for which you have no training.”

Well, I guess, but …

“You’re totally right, but … I’m willing to learn. “I’ll learn how to interact with families and local law enforcement and the media.”

“Sir, I’m willing to tone down my wardrobe choices.” NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“I’m ready to make that sacrifice if you just please give me a chance.”

WHOA.

“All right.”

YES!

“We could explore this on a trial basis. We’ll see how things go.”

“Are you up to speed on the case?”

“Yes.”

XDDDDDD

“Can you be ready in three hours?”

“I’m ready now.”

I love you so fucking much, gorgeous.

“See you on the plane.” YES!

“Okay.”

And then she actually realizes she’s coming in. LOL.

Abraham Lincoln: “Whatever you are, be a good one.”

Okay? So if you’re a killing sicko, you should be a good one? That makes no sense.

“I’m just waiting on a few last-minute details.”

Like what?

“I keep bumping on the fact that he makes a married couple have sex before he kills them. What is he accomplishing with that?”

“You know, the stabbing of wives is almost certainly piqueristic.”

Ew.

“The unsub gets sexual gratification from penetration with a knife.”

Do they have to make Gubler say those words?

“Most piquerists are impotent – men like Albert Fish, Iain Scoular, Andrei Chikatilo – so for him, it could be a substitute for sex.”

Hmm. Still weird hearing him talk about sex.

“The unsub could also be playing a mind game. Neither shot to the husband is clean, so they have to watch what he’s doing to their wives as they’re dying.”

Fucking a.

“So this guy challenges their manhood by forcing them to have sex, and then mocks them with the overkill. That kind of psychological torture makes him a sexual sadist.”

Well, yes, but you also shouldn’t be talking about sex, honey, cuz I’m getting wet over here.

“It would explain the amount of control he exhibits over the crime scene – the handcuffs, the condoms, the silenced weapon. He plans out every detail.”

Again with the poodle talking about adult content.

“If he’s that precise, he would be just as precise in his victimology. But he’s all over the map in terms of class and race.”

So what do we do now?

“Well, there must be something else about the couples that attracts him. Something that he couldn’t learn by stalking them anonymously.”

“Maybe the couples met the unsub before.”

Oh fuck.

“Rossi and Reid, will you handle the family interviews?”

“Morgan and Prentiss, go to the latest crime scene.”

And enter my goddess. Oh my god, what has she done to herself? BRING BACK THE ORIGINAL GARCIA!!!

“Well, look at you, look at you.”

I love how she turns every head on the plane.

“Meet your new communications liaison.”

Backtracking at seeing Hotch’s face.

“Trial communication liaison.”

“Garcia, I don’t get to say this often, but I had no idea there was this side of you.”

God, I love them so much.

“Well, I figure since I’m going to have to interact with the mass populace, I should dress in the traditional costume of a mere mortal.”

My goddess descends from on high.

Oh my darling is in pain, why?

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s my contact.”

My honey, that’s why I don’t wear them.

“It keeps getting weird and …”

“There it goes.”

“No.”

“Yes. No.”

XDDDD

Genius bit of comedy.

“Detective Crowley?”

“Hi. Miss Garcia.”

So weird hearing them refer to her as Miss Garcia XD

“It’s Doctor, not Agent. She was specific about that.”

I love how efficient and special my goddess is.

“What else was she specific about?”

“Excuse me. Are you Miss Garcia?”

Oh my god, I love this woman so much.

“You contacted the family members already?”

“Yes. Only two responded back immediately. That’s Robert Keppler’s dad, and then Scott Hartway’s mom will be here in about an hour. Is that enough time?”

“Yes. Perfect.”

Exactly.

“Okay, I’m gonna set up the boards unless you need something else.”

“No, we’re good.”

“And you were worried.”

XDDDDDDDDDDDDD

“He could have been lying in wait in the backseat, though.”

“No.”

Why not, honey?

“If they were facing forward, the unsub’s back here down low, he pops up with his gun, there’s no chance for them to fight back.”

Hmm.

“He could have used a Slim Jim to get in.”

He could have used a piece of processed corned beef to open a car window?

Gonna try it next time I get in a car.

“How did he force two people to have sex at gunpoint?”

“Viagra’s a vasodilator.”

A what now?

“It takes at least thirty minutes to get the blood vessels to relax properly. I mean, Scott’s fight or flight response would have kicked in.”

“His heart’s racing, his blood’s flowing to all his extremities, but not the right one.”

Right one? Oh you filthy boy.

“Maybe he got them to relax. He tells them he’ll let them live if they do this.”

“This guy has to control everything. That would include the environment, right?”

And he cranked up the heat to suit the mood.

“He didn’t want them getting cold?”

“This station wasn’t one of the presets. That means he tuned it for them.”

“It’s almost like he went out of his way to make sure they were comfortable.”

Yup.

“A sexual sadist wouldn’t do that. We need to take a look at the first crime scene.”

Yup.

So the guy’s son was a workaholic.

“So he was driven.”

“So both victims were alpha males?”

Whoa.

“It’s the only trait we could find that connects the couples.”

“We know that female type isn’t specific to this unsub, but what if it is?”

“Typically, alpha males only attack other alphas. That’s how the unsub sees himself.”

“He’s proving his dominance over his rival by obliterating their mate.”

Fuck.

“I’ll have Garcia pull up more personal information.”

Now, where is she?

“Detective, have you seen Ms. Garcia?”

“She’s outside talking to a reporter.”

A what now?

“Excuse me.”

Oh that reporter is an asshole.

“Okay, first of all, no comment means no comment. Second of all, that name of the killer – you came up with that name. We didn’t come up with that name.”

“You’ll hold the story?”

Yeah right.

“Have you cleared that with your editor?”

Don’t mess with them.

“Can you get him on the phone?”

“And the hold also applies to your blog that the paper hosts?”

Oh, he played her. Fuck.

“You sneaky son of a …”

“You’ll have your story when the Akron police make an arrest.”

Yup.

“Until then, the FBI has no comment, as Ms. Garcia stated. Thank you.”

“He lied. He lied to me.”

“No, he just counted on you not asking the right questions.”

Oh my darling, don’t beat yourself up about it.

“Why didn’t you check with me before you talked to him?” HEY! HEY! DO NOT GET MAD AT MY GODDESS!

“I looked everywhere and I couldn’t find you.”

“And I figured it was one of those things that you would just count on me to handle.”

I love you so much.

“Garcia, I appreciate the initiative, but when it comes to dealing with the press, let me handle things for now.”

Oh god.

“Yes, sir. Absolutely.”

“I need all the credit card and phone records for all the husbands. We think the unsub is targeting them first.”

“Okay.”

“Thank you.”

“Hotch, there’s something you need to see.”

Oh boy.

“This is the second crime scene. The unsub took the Hartways to lovers’ lane. Then he turned the heat up in the vehicle and turned the radio to a soul music station.”

“This is the first crime scene.”

“Al Green was in the CD player, candles had been lit.”

Romantic. “He’s staging the scene. Control is critical to him. We know this.”

“But to a different end than we initially thought.”

Huh?

“These murders are about the fantasy, only the fantasy isn’t sadistic, it’s romantic.”

“Well, we profiled from the interviews that he’s picking the husbands first. How’s that romantic?”

“Alpha males marry the most attractive females.”

“Once he meets the husband, he knows the wife is gonna fit his needs.”

“We know this unsub is impotent, but what we’re seeing here isn’t the usual psychological block keeping him from getting aroused. This is physiological.”

“He brings Viagra to the crime scenes. If he wanted, he could pop a pill, let the drug take effect. Instead, he gives it to the husbands. Why?”

“It’s not working for him anymore.”

“Something definitely happened to this guy. Prostate cancer, surgery, something.”

Oh boy.

“So why does he make the husband wear a condom?”

“Well, we don’t know the connection yet.”

“He’s going to kill the husbands anyway. He can’t perform on the wives. The condoms are redundant.”

This is so fucking weird.

“He’s acting out a fantasy in which contraception plays a key role.”

“Until we understand what the role is, we’re not gonna find him.”

So the fucker attacked again. God, that woman is brave.

“I just heard. The unsub shot both victims last night?”

“His routine was disrupted. That means he made a mistake.”

“It also means he’s out of control. He’s enraged. He’s going to attack again soon.”

“Alpha male just like the others.”

“Can you just hold on for a moment?”

What?

“The offensive and defensive wounds all over his body. He was cuffed behind his back.”

“He still put up a hell of a fight.”

“Because he knew how.”

“That’s full-contact training.”

“Now, where would he learn something like that?”

“My assumption would be a mixed martial arts gym.”

Hmm.

So he might find them at gyms.

“I’ll follow up with the families.”

“Maybe she went for the gun in the drawer, forced the unsub to shoot her, and stopped him from following his ritual.”

“No, ‘cause there was a muzzle burn on her chest.”

So?

“He shot her at point blank range.”

Oh god.

“Okay, you’re the unsub, I’m Debra Wilson.”

“I have to get past you to get to that gun.”

Okay, Prentiss and Morgan roleplaying shouldn’t be this hot.

“Now, your 9-mm is right here at my chest.”

I want that chest.

“What am I doing?”

“She offered herself to him?”

“Well, why would she do that? Why not lock herself in the bathroom or run out the door?”

“Well, survival isn’t logical, it’s instinctual. Her instincts probably told her that this was her best shot.”

Yup.

“So she’s just seen her husband die in front of her. Then she comes on to the unsub?”

“An overt sexual expression.”

“Yeah, it’s almost flexible. She’s gone from one man to the next without hesitation.”

“He makes the husband wear a condom. What does that say about him?”

“That he’s protecting himself?”

“It’s a sexual scenario where you’re sharing a woman with another man.”

Wait. Are they seriously talking about swinging?

Oh damn.

“Am I crazy, or could this guy be a swinger?” Yep, they are.

“He could have been a part of that scene until the impotence kicked in. And now he’s just trying to recreate it.”

“These couples could have been his old partners.”

“Okay, so here’s what I found out. Only Paul Wilson trained at the MMA gym, but all the other husbands worked out regularly, from the local YMCA to expensive fitness clubs.”

“Makes sense. Alpha males care about their appearance.”

Ah-hem. Does that mean that Rossi doesn’t consider himself to be an alpha male? Damn.

“The gym is also a good place to stalk victims.”

“It still doesn’t tell us how he goes from finding husbands in a gym to getting inside their house.”

Nope.

“No, but it does give us a list from which we can eliminate.”

“Yeah, but we’ve got a bigger problem here. The unsub’s fantasy was interrupted. At the least, he’s hunting again tonight. At the worst, he’ll escalate his violence.”

Frack.

“Garcia.”

“Yes, sir.”

“We’ve got a possible lead in the husbands’ gym and health clubs. I need a list of everyone in and out.”

“Okay, so employees and members.”

“No, wider than that. Outside vendors, maintenance, trainers, everybody.”

Whoa.

“That’s a lot.”

Has my baby reached her limit? Oh boy.

“And I’m not done cataloging husbands’ records like you asked me to ‘cause I keep getting delayed.”

“Delayed how?”

“Uh, family members calling back, cops with questions. Also, I’m helping Morgan call swing clubs ‘cause we thought some of the victims might be swingers. They’re not. By the way, there’s more swing clubs in Akron than there really should be.”

Oh wow, that was fast.

“Garcia, I need you to prioritize this. We need to get ahead of this guy. He may strike again tonight.”

“Sir, may I please bring Kevin Lynch in?”

You want Lynch the Bitch?

“It could help me get it done, like, bang.”

“That’s fine, and if for some reason you get stuck, just let me know.”

“And tell Morgan and Prentiss we’re releasing the profile. Have them give it to everybody they’ve met in the swingers’ community.”

“Yes, yes, I can do that.”

My desperate honey.

“Jehovah’s Witnesses?”

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

“I’m Special Agent Prentiss. This is Special Agent Morgan. We’re with the FBI.”

“We heard that you ran Fabulous Fun and Over Forty?”

Wow. They’re chipper about accommodating the FBI. Damn.

“Sir, I totally appreciate the confidentiality your gym provides for its members, but this is a murder investigation, so obviously …”

“Hello?”

Oh hells no.

“Uncooperative.”

My frustrated lovely.

“Kevin, honey, say something helpful.”

“I’m almost done with members and employees. Outside vendors are gonna be tough, thought. It looks like a lot of these guys are paid under the table.”

“I know. W-2s are useless. Look at original service records only.”

“What is this operating system you’re working?”

Oh hell no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Okay, first of all, I created that program, and second of all, it is a poor carpenter and hacker who blames his tools.”

Do not, EVER, criticize my lovely’s work.

Wait. The family is here for interviews? Oh boy.

“But we’re about to deliver the profile. And there’s no one here to talk to them.”

“Can you ask them to wait?”

Oh dear.

“Kevin, compile!”

And don’t interrupt her again! “Detective?”

“I’ll talk to them.”

Wait. What?

“Oh, I miss you, JJ.”

Me too.

“And because of the repetition of details at the crime scenes, we know that his ritual is essential to him.”

“These patterns are how he maintains dominance in a world he feels powerless in, both sexually and socially.”

“The man we’re looking for is a troilist. Do you know what that is? It means that he gets off on staging a scene and participating in it.”

Ew.

“Such as recording sexual acts on camera or coming to parties like yours. The point is the performance.”

“Partner?”

What now?

So they require the men to come with women? Smart.

Kind of.

“Paul Wilson’s attack showed him how physically weak he was, and Debra Wilson’s enticement reminded him of how futile his fantasies were. And as a result of this, this unsub is what we call decompensating.”

Huh?

“We use it to describe the collapse of OCD patterns that mentally ill patients use to cope. Once one fails, they generally all do.”

Oh frack.

“The unsub’s ritualized fantasy has stopped working, and that makes him incredible dangerous.”

So he was into MMF. Damn.

“Wait a minute. This guy is an alpha male. Wouldn’t he be too possessive to share his partner?”

So he was getting off on the fact that he saved his wife from a married man?

I want to barf.

“Because the erotic charge of the role play is the consensual cheating.”

“Then at a certain point, he steps in. and shows his sexual superiority. He proves to the room and his wife that he’s the only one who can satisfy her.”

“Until his impotence destroyed his ability to do that.”

“Suddenly he’s not the only one questioning his manhood, she is, too.”

Fuck.

That shouldn’t be this hot to me.

“So maybe she cheated on him, or maybe she left, but either way, his wife was his first loss of control.”

“And if he’s decompensating, she’s the pattern he’ll attack next as part of the breakdown.”

Oh crap.

“The end result of decompensation is temporary psychotic break. He’ll revisit old patterns to see if they still work.”

“And when he finds that they don’t, he’ll be compelled to destroy them and anyone engaging in them.”

Fuck.

Swingers party. Fuck. They actually show it.

“Do you have a last name?”

“So you have sex, but you don’t ask for last names?”

Gimme a break, lady. That is seriously the most dangerous thing ever.

“All of the victims here tonight were men. Do you happen to know why?”

Nope.

That lady is no help whatsoever.

“Ms. Sanders, if the door was locked, how did he get in?”

Makes no fucking sense.

“Morgan says the hostess locked herself in here. It didn’t seem to slow him down.”

“This is a deadbolt.”

Whoa.

“The unsub could have easily shot his way through.”

“He picked the lock?” Why?

“He’d only do that out of habit. The deadbolt’s designed for security. It takes expertise to get past that.”

“You think he’s a locksmith?”

“We knew he was stalking his victims at the gym, but we never knew how he got into their lives. But when you’re working out, where’s the one place you leave everything personal?”

“In a locker.”

Oh my wonderful poodle.

“Garcia’s already ruled out gym employees and members.”

“How’s he getting in?”

“Could be a third-party vendor called in to install the lockers. And called back when someone loses their key.”

“All right. Come back to the station. We’ll work this up.”

“Garcia, I need you to pull all the locksmiths that the gym contracts out to.”

“That’s gonna take some time.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m still gathering the vendors, and not all the websites list the trainers that work there.”

“Did you call them?”

“Of course I called them, but some were cooperative and some weren’t, so I …”

“Garcia, I told you to come to me if you got stuck.”

Oh no, he didn’t!

“Look, you know usually I can do this kind of thing in no time,”

“But this office is a revolving door of people bugging me, and I cannot do two jobs at once!”

WHOA.

“Oh, my god, sir, I’m so sorry.”

Oh my darling.

“Garcia, there are eight new victims as of tonight, and more people are going to die. I need you to shut out all distractions and give me everything you’ve got.”

“Yes, sir. I’m here.”

Oh my darling honey.

“I’m present. Hit me.”

“I need employee rolls …”

“Of lock and key companies. I’m so on it.”

I love you.

“We need to rethink this unsub’s decompensation.”

What now?

“We thought his wife would be the next logical target, especially if she left him, but if it’s other men, he could blame them for breaking up his marriage.”

“It’s the same thought process that started him hunting alpha males to begin with.”

“And what does that tell us about where he might be going?”

“Nothing. But it might tell us where he’s been.”

Okay, where?

“After his wife left, he sought out some of her partners and killed them.”

“You want to look at unsolved murders?”

“Crowley can pull them for us, match them based on the unsub’s caliber.”

Oh boy.

“Good. You might also need to give Garcia a hand working the locksmith angle.”

“Is there some reason she can’t cover that on her own?”

Well ….

“She’s juggling two jobs. She might needs some help.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I appreciate that. Thank you for the information. Okay, bye-bye.”

She’s so cute!

“How are you holding up?”

Oh my darling boy.

“The gyms found out about the massacre, so now they’re giving me information on the locksmiths, and that’s a whole other can of worms. And … I’m fine.”

No, she isn’t.

“Garcia …”

“JJ did so much. I am in so over my head, I’m swimming …”

“Oh, my god, I hate these things.”

“Here, let me help.”

Oh my chivalrous honey.

“Take them out.”

“Where’s your saline?”

How does he know about that?

“Front pocket of my bag.”

“You know what your only mistake has been since you started?”

“Oh, hooray. More criticism.”

“You are trying to replace JJ. No one can replace JJ.”

“Now take the other one out, too.”

“I’m not trying to replace her. I’m trying to do this job the way she’d want it done.”

“You know what JJ would want? She’d want you to find a way to do this job on your own terms.”

“Play to your strengths.”

“Okay, all my extensive knowledge of operating systems and internet protocol is not really gonna help me out here.”

Oh come on, honey.

“That’s not what I’m talking about.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You need to go OG. Original Garcia.”

“Derek Morgan, I’m a little blind right now, but it appears the rough blur that is you just threw out my only pair of contact lenses.”

“There she is. I know you.”

Oh my god, I love those two so much.

“How often do I tell you I love you?”

“Every day. It’s implied.”

I love those two and they need to make out and fuck already.

“Now … the locksmiths. Can I help?”

“You just did. I know what to do.”

XDDDDDDDDDDDDD I love them so much.

“Hello. This is Penny Garcia. I’m with the phone company.”

AND SHE IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Oh, we’re the phone company, so we know that.”

“I’m calling because one of your employees is past due, and he listed you as his most recent employer.”

Uh-oh, he’s trying to evade her.

“Well, that settles that, then. I’m just going to turn this over to the IRS.”

I love this lady so much.

“Well, I’m glad you asked, ‘cause this is my pickle. I have a gentleman that uses a bunch of different last names, but he keeps using the same first name, James, over and over. And the password is Maryann on all of his accounts.”

“He wouldn’t happen to be working tonight, would he?”

“Okay. Thank you very much. Bye-bye.”

I love you, Garcia!

“I got it!”

“Got what?”

“The unsub!”

I love how Crowley’s like, who the fuck is this and what happened to Miss Garcia? XDDDDDD

“His name is James Thomas. He did work at all the gyms the husbands went to.”

“Is that not enough information? Oh, I have so much more.”

“Last year he suffered from a condition called prostatic hyper dysplasia. Routine surgery took a wrong turn, snip snip, they had to remove the whole prostrate tamale. Boss says he didn’t show up for work today, but this … is his home address.”

“Garcia, you should have let me know before you contacted his employer.”

SERIOUSLY???????????????????

“Otherwise, well done.”

Oh god, I’m so happy right now.

She’s literally patting herself on the back.

I love you, Kirsten!

“We need a SWAT team at this address.”

“FBI! We’re coming in!”

“Clear.”

“Show me your hands.”

Whoa. Hold up. Is that lady his wife? And is she pregnant?

Are they off the mark?

“Where’s your husband?”

“There’s a gun locker in the closet. It’s empty.”

Oh boy.

“Get up. you’re gonna help us find him.”

“This is who your husband has killed so far.”

“Recognize that last crime scene?”

Oh, they’re trying to go all alpha male on her. It’s hot.

“He would because he’s not the father of your baby.”

Oh damn.

And yet she is adamant it is.

“She’s not going to give him up.”

“She’s the wife of an alpha male. She depends on him psychologically.”

“Is there any chance that the unsub is the father?”

“Garcia said the prostate surgery was over a year ago, and there’s no record of insemination.”

Nope.

“We need to ground her back into reality, give her something to hold on to for truth.”

“Did you get those files we asked for, the unsolved murder?”

“Great, thanks.”

Where is my poodle going with this? “If the unsub did kill someone in those files, it’s more likely the father of her child. If it’s an old swinging partner, he’d be easy to track down.”

“If we show her the files and he’s not in there, we could lose her for good.”

“Yeah, but if the father is in there, it could shake her loose.”

Oh wow.

“That baby is the only thing she would prioritize over her husband.”

“I think I can do it. I can get her to cooperate.”

“How?”

Yeah, how?

“Right now, two alpha males are in there attacking her marriage. She’ll react the same way to anyone challenging her husband’s dominance.”

“But I’m not a threat. I think she’ll listen to me.”

“So, I read this pretty fascinating theory recently.”

“It said that humans weren’t designed to be monogamous, that in our hunter-gatherer phase, women took several mates. The idea was that if the men in the tribe didn’t know who the father was, they’d all be more invested in the child. Interesting, huh?”

To you.

“Truthfully, your lifestyle is, um, it’s a sociological marvel.”

Seriously?

“Don’t get me wrong. I don’t judge you.”

“But I do think that the only reason you got into that was to make your husband happy. Just like you only got pregnant after his surgery to make him happy, only, I don’t think that it’s working.”

“So he didn’t change around, like, month four or five of the pregnancy when you started to show?”

Whoa.

“He didn’t get moody or withdrawn or anything?”

“How about last night, when he came home with cuts and bruises? Didn’t you ask him about that?”

“How about killing the man who got you pregnant? Do you think he’s capable of that?”

“These files are recent unsolved murders, men who have been killed since you conceived. Now, if I’m right about your husband, I think that the father of your child is somewhere in here.”

Oh god.

Boom. They got the truth.

“Maryann, we need you to tell us what you and your husband used to do before you got married. What your habits were.”

“No, your sexual habits.”

Oh boy.

So he made her flirt and then go in and assert his dominance? Seriously? Oh god, I want to hit him.

“He’s in the middle of the bar. There’s no way to take him down without risking collateral damage.”

“This guy’s looking for a spark.”

“Then we’ll need a distraction.”

A what now?

“What are you doing?”

“He’s gone back to his old patterns. He wants to play the game he played with his wife.”

“Debra Wilson played that game and it got her killed, Prentiss.”

“All right, keep his focus off the crowd long enough for us to take him down.”

“You guys better have my back.”

“We will.”

Good.

Oh god, Prentiss flirting shouldn’t make me this horny.

Hotch in the club is weird.

Morgan in the club is hot as fuck.

And he’s made her. Fuck.

Yes.

She got him.

Fuck you, asshole.

“FBI! Nobody move!”

“This situation is under control.”

Andre Berthiaume: “We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing our own skin.”

Powerful stuff, dude.

My lovely back in her lair.

“Garcia …”

“Sir, I’m scanning the open case files. My plan is to have this office paperless in a month.”

My green goddess.

“That can wait.”

Can it?

“When Gideon left the BAU, I found myself taking on too much responsibility. And I quickly realized that I could only do the job that I was good at.”

“I’ve seen you give everything to this case and to this team for the last few days, but the truth is, we need you here.”

“Oh, thank God.”

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, KIRSTEN!

“Sir, I do not want that job. I mean, I want part of the job.”

“I want the part that keeps me here, ‘cause here I’m Mozart, but out there, I was like a monkey playing the trumpet, and you guys need Mozart.”

“You did fine.”

I love you.

“What if we split the job? You can handle intake and resources here at Quantico, we can cover the rest in the field, and when we need you, you’ll still travel with us?”

“You can do that?”

“Of course.”

“But I let you down.”

“In no way whatsoever.”

XDDDDDDDDDDDDD “I kind of lost my marbles out there.”

“Garcia, when you applied for this job, you gave me your resume on homemade pink stationery. I realized than that you were … unique.”

Damn straight.

“And I wouldn’t want you to change that.”

I love this show so much.

So this episode was awesome. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the deaths are awful, and emily putting herself out there like that had me nervous as fuck. But this was awesome in every other aspect regarding my honeys, talking about sex and stuff and Penelope losing her shit, I love this episode so much.

Can’t wait to see what this season has in store for us.

I’ll see you next time, my lovelies <3

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