#deeptumblr

[liveleaker]

someone follows you with a username like moss-achilles and its either the weirdest deeptumblr form of lgbt with an orientation the likes of which you couldnt conjure and a bio 4 miles long, or the farthest right 32 year old reddit transfer whos quite probably a pedophile and adds comments to every single post he reblogs like "I laughed.🤣"

[miraclejin1204]

What if The Bughead Show is on hiatus because IRL Bughead is on their honeymoon? 🤔

[mhealy85]

Let's be real. Romeo was kind of a pussy.

[erotaekook]

Nobody knows the real me.Nobody knows how many times i've sat in my room and cried,how many times i've lost hope and how many times i've been let down. Nobody knows how many times i've had to hold back the tears. How many times i felt like i was about to snap but kept it in for the sake of others.Nobody knows the thoughts that go through my head whenever i'm sad,how horrible they are.Nobody knows me

Quotes like. com

[thedepthofthepond]

...and it's nothing like I've ever known before.

So, I just got back home from a VERY eventful weekend. I was at a friend's house from Friday, straight on through until Sunday evening. On Sunday, we went out and had a picnic, and I got to see some other friends, as well, which was a fantastic cap off to a great weekend. Of course, being around so many people was a little rough on me, considering my state of being an INTJ, but I can safely say that every second was worth the state of mush my brain is currently in. The friend whose house I was staying at is a friend I met exactly 3 months ago. Somehow, in that time, even though I live quite a ways away from her and my other friends, we've managed to a state in which I consider one of my best friends. At the picnic, I also got to see a couple other friends that I've known for a fair bit longer, which was fantastic. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out why one of my friends is adorable. And photogenic. I really don't know how she does it. It's impressive. I fear she's put myself and the others in a perpetual state of mind control, in which we do her bidding every time she makes an adorable squeak. At ANY rate, it was a fantastic weekend. When I was a little younger, I spent a lot of time by myself, even though I technically lived near some of my friends at the time. I've since moved, and I go to college a fair bit away from my current friends. I'm pretty far away from them, and yet, I can't recall a time I've felt closer to my friends. All things considered, I've spent the last several years of my life not really expecting people to want to be friends with me. I had good friends abandon me, and we went our separate ways. I've had best friends fall almost entirely out of contact. But, now, I'm surrounded by people that enjoy my company; That want me there. It's a very strange feeling. It's really nothing like I've ever known before. I guess that they are the friends that my old friends were supposed to be to me. I don't think about my old friends that much any more. I'm glad about that. I am just incredibly thankful for these people, and that they have a capacity for understanding my various quirks and idiosyncrasies. So, why exactly do I still have a picture of those old friends sitting on my desk? Why has it been sitting on my desk, even now that I've moved, for the last eight years? I have no idea. ... Actually, it's probably because I simply don't have a picture of all my new friends to replace it with. If I were to give a more complicated answer, I suppose I'd say it represents a different era of my life. It was taken at the Spring Fling dance of my 2nd grade year at elementary school. I was in public school from kindergarten through fifth grade, and then I was homeschooled from 6th until I went to college. I'm not even sure if I COULD bring myself to take it off my desk. Perhaps, one of these days, I could try. That'd probably do me some good. ... At any rate, I'm happy. I'm sort of a loner, so I'm kind of just used to being alone, of course. It's almost foreign having people that aren't my family that care about me so much. Foreign, but welcome, at the very least. ... Oh, darn, looks like I'm mildly sunburned from that picnic!

[thedepthofthepond]

Trust

Recently, I told a good friend of mine a big secret. I didn't know how she would react. I suppose, I was simply thinking "worst case scenario" the entire time, to avoid being disappointed by a bad reaction. I guess I just expected her to react badly. She didn't. I was confused. She carried on as normal with me. Nothing changed. I was very confused. If I may paste an excerpt from something I call a "Reflection," as they are stored in my Reflections folder in my computer: 'I do not fear they will hate me. No, that would be preferable. What I fear is far worse than something as simple and definable as hatred.

I fear their sadness.

I fear looking into their eyes as every perception they have had of me is torn to unequivocal shreds.'

Now, that portion of text is actually not about that first secret I told my friend. It is about something I think to be FAR more incriminating, and far more to be something likely to make whoever knows feel betrayed, or uncomfortable, or even more confused than before. Most of all, I don't want to hurt them. That is what I want least of all. I am a very protective friend. I can't stand the thought of any of them being hurt. [This one had to be edited slightly to avoid giving extra detail.]

 'It is for that reason that they remain in the dark – that their perceptions remain clouded. It is why I will put a smile on my face, and I will force that smile to mean nothing other than what I want it to.' Now, if one of my friends IS reading this blog, I would want them to know that I am very good at compartmentalizing my brain, and holding onto my secrets isn't as hard for me as I may make it out to be. I am perfectly capable of chewing on a secret, and being happy at the same time.