#dan vs clark but make it baking

[storm-cloud-lightning]

I think the funniest thing about this is the implications that Danny thought he was dating a cute but sometimes flaky reporter (who may or may not also be married to Lois Lane, yay for poly) and doesn't know that he, a space obsessed nerd, is dating a literal alien. Imagine the angst on Clark's side so worried about it and then when the reveal inevitably happens Danny is just *wiggle wiggle* omg that is so cool!!! Have you been to space? Other planets!?!? What's that like!? Can I go too!?! Omg can I-? Etc etc and Clark is just like: uhhhh I was not expecting this. Despite knowing Danny LOVES space, he didn't know it was this much

The idea of Dan Phantom working in the politics sector of the Daily Planet is haunting my brain and it won’t leaveee

[britcision]

Okay but you KNOW Lex deciding Jack is Kryptonian and Dan is half Kryptonian is getting added to the Superman contingency plans

Like, he’s either contacting Jack to ask him to be a backup to stop Superman (and coincidentally come over be brainwashed become my weapon teehee)

(Jack enthusiastically agrees, either not knowing or forgetting that Superman is his future son in law)

Or he’s working out how to test his superman machines on Dan first, as his easiest to access Kryptonian

Lex Luthor trying to apply money or political pressure to the Daily Planet, not for Lois for a change but for Dan, and Dan just casually having Vlad buy the paper out so he can’t

Vlad trying to squash the next Lane Expose and having to stare Dan in the face when Dan comes right to his office personally to tell him to eat shit

Luthor testing shit on Dan is gonna fuck him right up though because he gets a new kryptonite ring and drops by all smug to watch the half alien squirm and Dan’s just

Fine

Lex is confused, is the kryptonite fake? A dud?

Casually getting closer and closer to test it, why isn’t it working, he used the same one on Superman and it was fine

And then Dan works out what he’s doing, phases the ring off his finger and Fucking Eats It in front of him

Also it is vitally important to me that:

1) the Kents know Clark is dating Danny and who Dan is to Danny

2) Dan has met the Kents at some point in the Midwestern Manners Duel

3) the Kents fucking adore Dan he got them special secret ghost ingredients for pie or some shit they’re ecstatic Clark has another country boy to hang out with

4) Clark, still considering Dan his nemesis, fucking HATES THIS. Ma always asks how his brother is (not even in law, Clark and Danny haven’t even discussed marriage, Ma!) and tells him to give Dan her best wishes and sends him cookies if Dan is sick

And he has to do it too, and pass the messages back, or Dan will mention it next time he runs into Ma and Clark will be In Trouble it is his greatest fear

The idea of Dan Phantom working in the politics sector of the Daily Planet is haunting my brain and it won’t leaveee