#dan looks okay but Jeremy looks like a natural

[fazcinatingblog]

Omg

[simptasia]

ages of LOST characters when we first meet them vs the ages of the actors when they first started playing them. reminder that the starting point of LOST is september 22nd 2004. if a character’s age seems one less than sounds right to you its because their birthday is coming up. if a character is missing from this it’s because we don’t know their age in canon (looking at you, desmond)

jack shephard: 34 matthew fox: 38

kate austen: 27 evangeline lilly: 25

hugo “hurley” reyes: 25 jorge garcia: 31

james “sawyer” ford: 35 josh holloway: 35

sawyer says he’s 35. but lostpedia only has sawyer’s birthyear, 1968, making him 36. however an easy explanation for this is that sawyer has a birthday coming up in the post september to december range (like many other characters here) thus making the birthyear and what sawyer said still right

john locke: 48 terry o’quinn: 52

sayid jarrah: 36 naveen andrews: 35

jin-soo kwon: 29 daniel dae kim: 36

sun-hwa kwon: 24 yunjin kim: 31

claire littleton: 21 emilie de ravin: 23

charlie pace: 27 dominic monaghan: 27

okay so an odd thing happened here. we don’t actually know charlie’s age in canon, except that based on a statement from liam that he’s absolutely less than 30. and basically what happened is there was big debate on lostpedia, the general gist being he’s 25 to 28, until everybody just gave up and they slapped dom’s birthday on charlie’s page. and it’s still there to this day

walt lloyd: 10 malcolm david kelley: 12

walt’s actor was gonna age outta the role anyways due to the nature of lost’s timeline but their first mistake was casting a 12 year old. like, hello, puberty?

shannon rutherford: 20 maggie grace: 21

boone carlyle: 23 ian somerhalder: 26

danielle rousseau: 44 mira furlan: 49

ethan rom: 27 william mapother: 39

the consequences of season 5 are starting to hit

bernard nadler: 56 or 57 sam anderson: 58

ana lucia cortez: 29 michelle rodriguez: 27

eko tunde: 35 adewale akinnuoye-agbaje: 38

alexandra “alex” rousseau/linus: 16 tania raymonde: 17

benjamin “ben” linus: 39 michael emerson: 51

this isn’t even due to later timeline decisions, they just decided to do this

miles straume: 27 ken leung: 38

daniel faraday: 26 jeremy davies: 39

charlotte lewis: 33 rebecca mader: 31

and theeere’s the season 5 whammy. for those who don’t know (you must be new to my blog) dan and miles ages differ so much from their actors because when our guys are in 1977, it suited the story and characters better for miles to be a baby and dan to be an embryo (and char to be 6) at the same time. the writers were set on 1977 being the year everybody got stuck in and that’s how we get daniel faraday being an oxford professor at fucking 18

it’s something that gets funnier and sadder the longer you think about it

anyways. thank you for your time!

[writingfromkitchenator]

1,500 Followers Challenge!

The Title/Trope Challenge!

Again, thank you all for all your support!  You are all amazing and I truly cannot thank you enough for helping me get this far.  It’s certainly a milestone that I never thought I’d see.

Straight to the challenge!

Basic rules apply ~ there are 30 songs and 30 quotes posted below, pick one from your fandom with your character.  This will be open for a while as 2 requests per song/quote.  The only rule is here is, is that the requests cannot be from the same fandom.  I will try and keep the lists as updated as I can to try and avoid cross overs!

The extra - This time around, send me either a title and/or a trope to base to the fic on.  They can be as weird and wonderful as you want, or something simple.  In your ask, just specify which you are sending me and I’ll do the rest from there!

Recap:

Send me an ask with your request

Include your fandom and character

Choose a song and quote

Give me a title and/or a trope to base the fic on!

In saying that, please remember that this is all just a bit of fun, I’m sure you can have a laugh at some of the quotes below (based off of some of my favourite movies).  Please send all requests through asks, it’s easier for me to keep track of, and let me know of any questions!  It is, of course, okay to request more than once!

For now, there is no closing date, we will just keep going until all the requests are full!  Requests will be closing 1st May.

Further info below the cut.

Songs

Evermore  ~ Dan Stevens (Beauty and the Beast) - Lord of the Rings

Protector  ~ City Wolf - Supernatural and The Hobbit

I  See the Light ~ Mandy Moore and Zachary Levi (Tangled) - Lord of the Rings

I'd  Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That) ~ Meat Loaf - Marvel and Supernatural

Bloodshot  ~ Sam Tinnesz

Let’s  Hear It For The Boy ~ Deniece Williams

All  Eyes On You ~ Smash Into Pieces

Feel  Invincible ~ Skillet

Natural  ~ Imagine Dragons - Lord of the Rings

Wrong  Side Of Heaven ~ Five Finger Death Punch

Shatter  Me ~ Lindsey Stirling Ft. Lzzy Hale - Supernatural

Feeling  Good ~ Nina Simone - The Hobbit and Marvel

Somebody  To Love ~ Queen - The Hobbit and The Witcher

Hurricane  ~ Thirty Seconds to Mars

You  Give Love A Bad Name ~ Bon Jovi - The Hobbit

Girls  Just Wanna Have Fun ~ Cyndi Lauper - Supernatural

Total  Eclipse of the Heart ~ Bonnie Tyler - The Hobbit

Don’t  You (Forget About Me) ~ Simple Minds

Hell  Ain’t a Bad Place to Be ~ AC/DC

Love  Is A War ~ Jeremy Renner

A  Reason to Fight ~ Disturbed - The Witcher

True  Love ~ P!nk ft. Lily Allen - Marvel and Supernatural

Poison  ~ Alice Cooper

Sucker  for Pain ~ Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa & Imagine Dragons w/ Logic & Ty  Dolla $ign ft X Ambassadors (Suicide Squad)

Hello  Hello ~ Elton John ft. Lady Gaga (Gnomeo and Juliet) - Lord of the Rings and Supernatural

I’m  Gonna Be (500 Miles) ~ The Proclaimers - Marvel and Lord of the Rings

I Will Always Love You ~ Whitney Houston  (The Bodyguard) - Supernatural and Lord of the Rings

When You Wish Upon A Star ~ Cliff Edwards  (Pinocchio) - The Hobbit

Raise Hell ~ Dorothy

Leave Me Lonely ~ Imelda May

Quotes

I mean, those people aren't exactly our regular customers. (Legion)

I would not have shown you such mercy. (Legion) - Lord of the Rings

When you hesitate, people die. (Doom)

Yeah, I was thinking about it. (Doom)

Will you please get this child off my leg? (Bedknobs and Broomsticks) - Supernatural

Do you poison the dragon or just the liver? (Bedknobs and Broomsticks)

I don't know about you, but I'd like to make today worth remembering. (The Music Man) - Supernatural and Lord of the Rings

A man can't turn tail and run just because a little personal risk is involved. (The Music  Man) - Marvel

You idiots! You fools! You imbeciles! (101 Dalmatians) - Supernatural

It was a beautiful spring day. Tedious time of the year for bachelors. (101  Dalmatians) - Marvel

I think I am familiar with the fact that you are going to ignore this problem until it  swims up and bites you in the ass. (Jaws) - Lord of the Rings

Smile you son of a bitch! (Jaws)

You never have control, that’s the illusion! (Jurassic Park) - The Hobbit

Boy, do I hate being right all the time.  (Jurassic  Park) - The Witcher

The suspense is terrible.  I hope it'll last. (Willy  Wonka and The Chocolate Factory) - Lord of the Rings

So shines a good deed in a weary world. (Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory)

That was naughty. (The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen) - The Hobbit and Supernatural

You broke my heart once. This time you missed. (The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen)

You know, he looks heroic and he walks fast, but he’s kind of got a negative attitude.  (The Meg) - The Lord of the Rings

Yeah, well, I’m not crazy, I’ve just seen things no one else has. (The Meg) - Marvel

Eight years is a long time. Can I make you a cup of tea? (Godzilla) - Marvel

As far as he's concerned, you're just a pair of breasts that talk. (Godzilla) - The Hobbit

Afraid? You don't know what afraid is. You will not last five minutes without me.  (Jumanji) - The Hobbit

Oh, okay, honey. Well, that would be cheating. (Jumanji) - The Hobbit

Carrots? Why is it always carrots? I didn't even eat carrots! (Atlantis: The Lost Empire) - Supernatural

I know what you seek, and you will not find it here. (Atlantis: The Lost Empire) - Supernatural and The Witcher

No. I can't do that, and if you were in my position, you'd do the same. (Alien)

When I give an order I expect to be obeyed. (Alien)

I think it's better to have ideas. You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier.  (Dogma) - Lord of the Rings

Well, I say we get drunk, because I'm all out of ideas. (Dogma) - Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit

Characters I will write for:

The Hobbit – Thorin, Fili, Kili, Dwalin, Bofur, Nori, Gloin (friends only), Frerin, Thranduil, Bard, Legolas, Bilbo, Lindir, Beorn

The Lord of the Rings – Aragorn, Boromir, Eomer, Faramir, Legolas, Gimli, Frodo, Merry, Pippin, Elrond, Haldir

Supernatural – Sam, Dean, Castiel, Crowley, Gabriel, Lucifer, Benny, Balthazar, Chuck, Garth, Mick, Gadreel, Charlie, Bobby

Marvel – Tony Stark, Clint Barton, Bruce Banner, Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Loki, Thor, Peter Quill, Logan, Stephen Strange, Carol Danvers, Sam Wilson, Heimdall

Dragon Age – Alistair, Anders, Cullen, Morrigan, Zevran, Leliana, Fenris, Sebastian, Iron Bull, Dorian, Cassandra, Blackwall, Varric

Harry Potter – Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, Neville, Remus, Sirius, Fred, George

Star Trek (Newer Films) – Kirk, Spock, Bones, Scotty

The Witcher (TV Series) – Geralt, Yennefer, Jaskier

Of course, this list isn’t a final thing, if you feel I could write a character, please just send me a message and I’ll let you know if I’m comfortable with it or not.

Please of course note that all drabble requests are reader insert.  I will not do character pairings, but I will change to first/third person if you prefer reading that way.  Y/N will be the standard name though and remain that way.

For any Dragon Age requests, if you wish to appear as a certain race, please let me know.

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Probably crack and a result of staying up way too late, but how do you think an AU where Peter dated and married Naomi instead of Nora would go?

This officially goes on the list of “ships I never considered before, but now that you say it I can kinda see it.”  Peter’s clearly got a competency kink, between Eva and Nora.  Naomi deserves better than Dan.  They’re both overworked single parents who try to do what’s best for their kids, and don’t always succeed.  Peter’s good at the nurturing and hug-giving and supportive side of things, not so much at the day-to-day practicalities.  Naomi’s excellent at making sure everyone is fed and sheltered and keeping up in school, not so much at the touchy-feely stuff.  Yeah, I can see it.

Anyway:

They meet through the PTA, naturally.  Naomi’s there to stage a formal protest about the high school’s suspension of late-bus service, and Peter’s there because this is the once-a-month night out of the house that Marco keeps scheduling for him.  Naomi makes a sarcastic comment about the U.S. government’s idea of “sufficient funding”, Peter jumps in with a one-liner about science grants, and four hours later they’re still companionably trashing the NSF over their third round of bake sale brownies.  Peter makes the first move, of course.  Naomi sets the time, the venue, the curfew, the transportation, and the expectations for the night, of course.

Jake thinks this is the funniest thing that has ever happened to him in his entire life.  The more both Marco and Rachel call him to complain about their respective parents, the funnier he finds it to be.

Both Naomi and Peter are pleasantly surprised at how well their kids get along.  They were both vaguely aware that Marco and Rachel knew each other through school, but neither one is prepared for the instantaneous companionable banter the teenagers fall into the moment Peter first brings Marco over to meet Naomi.

The first four or five times Marco comes around Rachel’s house for dinner, Jordan hides under her hair and watches him in enraptured silence.  After about two months’ worth of this, Rachel drags Marco aside after an Animorphs meeting and has a stern conversation with him.

Neither of them will tell the others what they talk about, even though Ax expresses concern at the brilliant red shade both their faces have taken on and Cassie gives them a knowing smile.  Technically Tobias overhears the whole thing — the others tend to get so caught up in hawk eyes that they forget all about hawk ears — but he’s nice enough to keep his silence.

The next time Marco’s over at Rachel’s house, he lets out a seven-second belch after downing an entire can of Mountain Dew in one go.  Over the next ten minutes, he insults Jordan’s favorite boy band, picks his nose in front of everyone, claims he’s going to die alone because girls are gross, and (to Rachel’s quiet shock) too-casually acknowledges his raging crush on Brad Pitt.

Anyway, it works like a charm.  Jordan gets over her crush pretty quick after that.

“You didn’t have to go quite that hard in the paint, you know,” Rachel says to Marco much later.  “Pretending to like Brad Pitt, I mean.”

Marco is lying on her bed, looking through one of her back issues of CosmoGirl with the air of a forensic anthropologist picking apart the dismembered remains of a human sacrifice.  “What?” he says, back in that too-casual tone.  “I can appreciate a good pair of lips, no matter what type of human being they grow upon.”

Rachel spins around, looking away from the mirror where she was fixing her hair.  Marco is now staring at the magazine as if trying to detect a coded message between two lines of the spread comparing different brands of eyeliner.

“No matter what type?” she asks.

Marco lifts his chin.  He doesn’t back down, and he doesn’t laugh.  There’s a defiant set to his smirk, and the careful confidence in his expression is betrayed by the slight trembling of his fingers clenched around the Cosmo.

Their parents are engaged, that’s all.  And it’s not something he’s ever told anyone... but he also thinks it’s maybe the sort of thing that one tells one’s siblings.

“So you do agree with me and Cassie about Jeremy Jason McCole!” Rachel says triumphantly.

Marco gags so hard he risks straining his own throat muscles.  “I have taste!  You, clearly, have none.”

If Jordan still has any romantic interest in Marco at all even after the you’re going to be step-siblings news broke, it disappears the instant that Naomi announces Jordan and Sara are going to be sharing a room from now on, because Marco and Peter are moving in with them.  A week later, Jake’s mother has a stern conversation with him about the extent to which he’s been running up their phone bill.  He grumbles that he didn’t ask to be everyone’s agony aunt, but that doesn’t get him out of being grounded.

Marco teases Rachel endlessly when he figures out why she leaves her window open every night, even — especially — when it’s cold or rainy outside.  But he also helps cover for her and Tobias without being asked, and one night in gorilla morph he deforms the oak tree out in the back yard so that a sheltered branch rests directly underneath her windowsill.

Rachel stops in the door of Marco’s room the day after the confrontation with Visser One outside the fake hork-bajir valley.  She doesn’t bother to knock.  He didn’t bother to shut the door.

Marco’s sitting in the narrow space between his bed and the wall, staring at the blank blue paint in front of his face.  His knees are drawn up to his chest, his hands limp at his sides.

“They didn’t find a body,” Rachel says, blunt as ever, standing over him.  “I know that’s not good news or anything.  But I also figured you had a right to know.  There’s no sign of Vis—  Of her body.”

Marco squeezes his eyes shut, hard, but still can’t stop the tears.  “Shit.”  He lets his head fall back against the bedspread.  “Shit.”

Hesitating only a second, Rachel scoots in next to him.  She doesn’t try for a hug or anything stupid like that, but she sits shoulder-to-shoulder with him.  She’s the kind of person given to stillness, but she stays put as he struggles to breathe and swipes his sleeve across his face time and time again.

“It’s never going to end, is it,” Marco says at last, when he’s got enough air for words.

Rachel shrugs.  “I’m the wrong person to ask.”

“Shit,” he whispers again.  “Shit, shit, shit.”

“You wanna play Sega?” she asks.  “Not think for a while?”

Marco shakes his head violently.  “I just need some space, okay?”

“Sure.”  She stands.  “I’ll tell my mom not to expect you for dinner.”

Their parents are downstairs cooking.  Laughing.  Arguing companionably over one of Naomi’s cases.  Every clink of dishes, every fond word, feels like a spike driven under Rachel’s fingernails right now.  And if that’s how she feels...

“Anyway, I know you think I’m a crazy psycho killer, but for what it’s worth I think you made the right call.”  She says it sharply, standing to go.  Marco doesn’t respond, not that she expected him to, and she yanks his door shut when she goes.

Peter doesn’t try to be Rachel’s dad.  But he helps her with homework and shows up to her gymnastics meets and acts more excited than she is when she aces a history test.  He asks her what she wants to study in college, not whether she’s going or how they’re expected to pay for it.  He doesn’t try, and he does pretty well anyway.

The Animorphs meet in Rachel’s room almost as often as they do in Cassie’s barn.  It’s more centrally located, even if it doesn’t have nearly the selection of morphs right at hand.  Jake and Cassie both have preexisting excuses for showing up several times a week, and Tobias and Ax never bother using the front door anyway.  Marco’s also taken the time to confirm that no one in the house is a controller, so it saves everyone a little peace of mind.

Rachel wakes up screaming in the middle of the night.  No, that’s not it; she’s screaming in her sleep, and then Marco snaps the light on and wakes her.  He sets a glass of water on her nightstand.  Tilts the alarm clock so she can see the time.  Pokes her in the arm to remind her that she’s human, at least for now.  When it becomes obvious that she’s not going to talk about it, he turns and leaves without ever saying a word.

“I need you,” Marco says into the phone, middle of the night, apparently apropos of nothing.  “They took my dad.”  He gives the address, and then he hangs up.

He and Rachel have come to a decision, without discussion, without niceties like consulting Jake, by the time they’re done fighting off the half-dozen controllers who were dragging Peter toward the portable yeerk pool.  Rachel demorphs as Peter watches.  Marco goes through the explanation the first time, then the second.

Midway through the third round of attempts to convince Peter he’s not crazy, Rachel gives up.  She herds both Peter and Marco into the backseat, and drives back to the house.  “Pack for a long trip,” she tells them both, and goes upstairs to tell her mom.

Maybe, Jake concludes, exhausted just at the thought, they could’ve kept going if it was just his parents, or just Cassie’s.  But Rachel and Marco can’t both disappear without rousing too much suspicion, and getting rid of just one of them will put the yeerks on the tail of the other.  “I guess it’s time,” he says.  “Better get ready to tell our own parents, then.”

By the end of that day, Rachel’s and Marco’s blended family is in the hork-bajir valley.  By the time two days have passed, Jake’s and Cassie’s families are there too, even if Tom is currently secured with about a half-mile of duct tape and will need to be babysat by several hork-bajir for the next three days.  A week after that, Tobias shows up with Loren in tow.  One hellish mission later, and Visser One is dead, but her host is rapidly recovering.

Naomi and Eva circle each other like a pair of housecats thrust into the same room, at first.  They’re prim and aloof and wary, unable to know what to make of each other.  Peter helps exactly nothing by retreating from the conflict entirely, busying himself with an elaborate irrigation project the hork-bajir don’t actually need his help with.  But he can’t escape them forever.

One night, all three of them get roaring drunk on some kind of regrettable fermented-bark thing, and finally have it out.  Peter makes a passionate speech or two about his love for them both before retreating into morose silence.  Naomi’s sixth drink ends in her making an elaborate attempt to draw up a timeshare contract over who will keep Peter on which night.

Eva slams a hand down on the table, and they both fall silent.  She won’t share, she announces quietly, and she won’t be with a man who cannot choose.  She’ll find her own way.

Her own way, as it turns out, is even worse than Marco could have possibly imagined.

“Why?” Marco cries, flopping on the ground in the middle of the next Animorphs’ meeting.  “Why, why, why does this keep happening to me?”

“Pretty sure we’ve been over this before, back when it was your dad, and concluded it’s not about you,” Jake says.  “Anyway, the yeerks —”

“No!”  Marco sits up.  “We have more important things to talk about than yeerks.  Tobias, back me up on this!”

«Uh, yeah.»  Tobias looks over at Rachel.  «By the way, all those times you talked about how weird it was when your mom started dating again... Sorry for not being more sympathetic.  Now that I’m in your shoes...  It’s really weird.»

Rachel sniffs.  “You only met your mom like a month ago.  It’s still worse for me.”

“And it’s worst of all for me!”  Marco has flopped back over.  He emits a noise something like a wookiee being murdered.  “Please someone acknowledge that it’s worst of all for me!”

Cassie pats him on the back of the head.  “It’s worst of all for you,” she says.

“Thanks,” he says into the grass.

“Okay!”  Jake throws up his hands.  “Marco’s mom and Tobias’s mom have a thing going.  Now do we have it out of our systems?”

«Personally, I think Loren and Eva are most compatible,» Ax says.

«Nobody asked you,» Tobias snarks.  «And Jake, just imagine for a second if it was your mom who was macking on—»

“Nope!” Rachel says loudly.  “Nobody is thinking about anyone’s mom and anyone else’s mom.  Or dad.  We are ignoring it, we are pretending it’s not happening, we are carrying on as Marco and I have been for over a year now, we are killing yeerks.”

“Yeah, like I was saying.”  Jake rolls his eyes.  “There are aliens invading the planet, remember?”

“The horror,” Marco mumbles, still facedown in the grass.  “The horror!”

Cassie gives him another sympathetic pat on the back of the head.

[eggscelsior]

AU where Riko is the leader of The Elite Four

The Pokemon League Officials have started discussing the idea of a “final boss” after the Elite Four, the Pokemon Champion

And whether or not Kevin Day (Grass Type master) is more suited to the title than Riko (Water Type master)

Riko breaks Kevin’s Pokeball-throwing hand, and Kevin leaves, assumed to be unable to aim properly to catch a wild Pokemon ever again

(Kayleigh Day and Tetsuji Moriyama are the first two people to ever start making up rules for having Pokemon fights, before that Pokemon were either just wild or taken in as pets or taught work skills like Machokes)

Riko wants the attention of his father, Kengo Moriyama, who on the outside is just a businessman but actually is the leader of a criminal force called Team Rocket

Riko’s Perfect Court is the Perfect Elite Four, and Nathaniel Wesninski is supposed to be Number Four, taking after his father “The Butcher”’s proficiency for being a Steel Type gym leader

Neil Josten has been on the run for years, leaving his father’s Steel Pokemon behind him. He and his mother avoided battles and stayed out of Pokemon centers and hospitals, treating themselves and her Fighting type Pokemon to avoid being tracked through Pokemon ID numbers. When she died he released his mother’s Pokemon into the wild when he burned her remains on the beach, and settled in a tiny town no one’s heard of

He eventually joins the Trainer school there, desperate for Pokemon interaction, but the school is so tiny that they don’t teach all the Types, just the elementals, so Neil takes what he can get and accepts a Ponyta as his “starter” Pokemon

Fiery personality and good at running, they’re a great pair

Hernandez, the leader of the school, sends battle videos of Neil to his old friend Wymack

There are little street groups of friends that band together to train and try and get good enough to take the Pokemon League challenge

The “Foxes” are one of these, a bunch of misfits under the tutelage of Professor “Coach” Wymack, who has Fire Blast tattoos up his arms and whose partner Vulpix gives the Foxes their nickname

(When Seth is murdered and they’re down to nine trainers, Wymack uses a fire stone to evolve his Vulpix into Ninetails)

He only takes in the “worst of the worst”, people who he feels could use Pokemon training to get their lives back on track, who need the second chance. So they’re not a bunch of ten-year-olds, they’re older teens

They get in so much trouble that they have a Nurse Abby traveling with them instead of going to Nurse Abbys at Pokemon Centers

And Coach’s good friend and former Psychic Trainer Betsy Dobson, whose current partner Combee earns her the nickname Bee herself. Combee makes lots of honey and she loves to share sweets in her therapy sessions

Some trainer-pokemon pairings (I’m completely ignoring Regions and Generations for this):

You’d think Andrew would go for things with knives on them (Scyther, Beedrill, Skarmory), but no, he doesn’t need a Pokemon to physically protect him, he carries his own knives, which is why people are afraid of him and think he’s psychotic. He has Dark type Pokemon, chief of which are Murkrow and Mismagius. He has an eidetic memory and can easily memorize the base stats of all Pokemon types, the potential moves they can learn, and all the known caught Pokemon and commonly used battle items of a trainer they’re facing, and that’s why he’s such a great trainer

Nicky has a Feebas and he loudly proclaims to everyone who will listen that someday it will be the most gorg Milotic belonging to the most gorg gay trainer there is (Eric his fiance is a Hiker with Rock pokemon who lives in a different Region)

Aaron I’m-gonna-be-a-doctor Minyard has a Chancey

Katelyn is Abby’s assistant and has a yellow PomPom style Oricorio, she believes that cheerfulness and support are just as important to healing as medicine. Aaron is gaga for her, Andrew thinks she’s a perky waste of space

Half joking but not really, Kevin caught a Bellsprout right-handed and power-evolved it into a Victreebell that holds a fuckton of vodka in its pitcher to drown its food in instead of acid, so Kevin has an unending supply. (He had a Celebi but he has to earn its respect back by overcoming his injury and facing Riko again)

The girls, hoo fuck, Dan and her super tough Nidorina, Allison and Dragonite (her parents wanted her to have Beauty Contest Pokemon and not evolve her Dragonair but she Gave No Fucks), and Renee and her sweet-looking Mawile that can Fuck You Up if need be

Seth has uhhhh a Pidgeotto, Pidgeottos are assholes. 

Matt and his Salazzle (listen this boy’s type and also Type is Strong Badass Black Females okay)

Jeremy has a Mudsdale named Trojan, which his group of trainers are nicknamed after, and he’s the most sporting and sunny gym leader you ever did meet

Riko has a Tentacruel that he likes to use to restrain and/or whip or poison his victims, he’s a fucking jackass. He also has a Sharpedo for cutting people with

I’m getting way too deep into this AU but I’m going to leave off with Andrew telling Neil at some point “You’re more like a Mimikyu than a Vulpix, trying to blend in with the Pokemon that trainers go for so you can have battles, and changing your disguise any time someone gets close enough to see the clawed ghost underneath. I don’t trust you.” 

(But clearly Andrew finds Mimikyu fascinating lol)

(Andrew also obviously thinks Neil’s natural auburn is much more suited to his personality and trainer type than brown hair. Neil’s eventual burns suit him too, make him look like a seasoned Fire trainer.)

(Ponyta trusts Andrew enough to pet him without burning him with his mane, because Neil so clearly trusts and needs this man)

And also “Nathaniel...you were supposed to be an Elite Steel master” “I’m NEIL, I’m a Fire trainer now” “Your Ponyta isn’t strong enough to face Riko, you’re at a type disadvantage. He has to evolve into Rapidash, and quickly” “Will you still train me?” “Every night”

Bonus: Riko telling Neil “That name means ‘Champion’, you will never refer to yourself by it again, your name is Nathaniel” and Neil responding with a grin, teeth red from a bloody nose, “I knew there was a reason I picked it.”

[homeofthelonelywriter]

Drabbles!!

(A/N) So, I finally collected my favourite drabbles. Most of those below are from another blog, but I just can’t find him/her. So if those are your drabbles or you know the user those drabbles are from, please let me know, so I can give them the credit they deserve! How this works: Choose one or more prompts and a character and send me your request. You can do it as an anon, but if you do it non-anon like, I can tag you. And if you’d like any more details to be added (who says the line, for example) just add it to the request. You can find a list of characters I write for down below. The things you send me, will be turned into a oneshot.

1. “Close your eyes.“ – „I swear, if you’re doing something strange, I’ll kill you!”

2. “Are you…flirting with me?” – “About damned time you notice!”

3. “Please stop smiling at me. I keep messing everything up when you look at me like that!”

4. “You look so comfy and cuddle-able!”

5. “I can’t believe, how a few months ago I wanted to learn your name and now you’re eating breakfast in my shirt.”

6. “No…it’s just like…I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.”

7. “You can hurt yourself with that.” – uses weapon skilfully – “You were saying?”

8. “You know, to be a smartass, you have to be smart. Otherwise you’re just an ass.”

9. “IS THAT PAINT?” – “Nope, just my blood.”

10. “That looks infected.” – “It’s fine.” – “You’re dying!” – “Well…that’s fine too.”

11. “I can save you.” – “No, you can’t.”

12. “Do you think at all before you speak?”

13. “You know, unlike some other people, I don’t sleep with everyone I make eye contact with.”

14. “Promise me you’ll take better care of yourself.”

15. “I’ve made so many mistakes, but you’re not one of them.”

16. “You, didn’t do the dishes, I’m not doing you!”

17. “Hot, gorgeous, beautiful…whatever you want to call me.”

18. “Who are we ignoring?”

19. “I love sarcasm! It’s like punching people in the face with words.”

20. “You’re one insult away from starting a war.”

21. “I love you from the bottom from my heart, but I don’t trust you cooking. So stay out of my kitchen.”

22. “I have nothing to apologise for.”

23. “Don’t judge because I’m quiet. No one plans a murder out loud.”

24. “Why aren’t you worshipping me, mortal?” – “Not interested, thanks though.”

25. “I’m going to kill you!” – “Daring/Dude, I’m already dead.”

26. “It’s hard to have a heart, when you stopped so many others.”

27. “I’d like to apologies to everyone, for what’s about to happen.”

28. “Death is the only god, who will come if you call.”

29. “God damnit!” – “You can’t say that!” – “Okay. Satan bless it!”

30. “I hate you.” – “Why? I’m lovely!”

31. “Why were you trying to kill me?” – “I was hired to.”

32. “You’re…” – “Beautiful, gorgeous, immensely talented-“ – “…dangerous.”

33. “I know the voices aren’t real, but man, they come up with some great ideas!”

34. “All that blood looks good on you. It really brings out your eyes.”

35. “You see, my idea of ‘help from above’, is a sniper.”

36. “You’re a psychopath.” – “I prefer creative.”

37. “Excuse me? Which level of hell is this?”

38. “Fuck an apology! I’m not sorry for anything!”

39. “Who are you? Death?” – “Sometimes. Not today though.”

40. “I’d rather be spilling blood.”

41. “Spoiler alert: everybody dies.”

42. “No! I’m not feeling violent. I’m feeling creative with weapons.”

43. “Don’t you feel lonely living in your own little world?” – “Don’t you feel powerless living in other people’s world?”

44. “I may have, accidently adopted five cats.”

45. “The problem is: if I kiss you, I don’t think I’d be able to stop.”

46. “I can lose everything! But not you, oh god, not you!”

47. “Kill me if you must, but I will not bow to a king, who wears a crown studded with jewels of every life he’s taken.”

48. “I am the monster you created.”

49. “Why should I apologies for being the monster I’ve become? No one ever apologised for making me this way!”

50. “The chains may be broken, but are you truly free?”

51. “The devil’s got nothing on me, my friend.”

52. “Clever as the devil and twice as pretty.”

53. “Can I stay in the reality of your universe? Mine sucks.”

54. “So, what’s your plan?” – “My plan was to follow your plan!”

55. “I do what I want and you’ll do what you’re told!”

56. “This is my life now. I climbed that hill and I’ll die upon it.” – “Shut up! We’ve only been hiking for like five minutes!”

57. “I’m getting the distinct feeling that I’m not welcome here.”

58. “Don’t bleed on my floor!”

59. “…I think I broke him/her.”

60. “You’ve got to believe me!” – “Sorry, but I tend to not believe compelling liars.”

61. “I’d take a bullet for you, you know that.” – “You’re immortal. And I’m going to kill you if you keep saying that.”

62. “I know it’s three in the morning, but I can’t find my cat.”

63. “If you walk out that door…don’t you ever come back.”

64. “Will you just let me think for a minute and let me think?!”

65. “Ignore me. I didn’t see anything.”

66. “I’m in love…shit.”

67. “You look…” – “Beautiful, I know. Can we please move on now?”

68. “I’ve never stood a chance, did I?” – “That’s the sad part. You once did.”

69. “I thought you forgot about me.” – “Never.”

70. “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”

71. “We have like five people trying to kill us. What are we gonna do?” – “Well, it’s more like nine.” – “Oh well, I’m sorry I wasn’t specific enough!”

72. “Oh, look at all the pretties!” – “Can you please stop talking about assault rifles, the same way you talk about shoes?”

73. “I am way to sober for this shit.”

74. “Stop that.” – “Stop what?” – “That thing you’re doing with your face when you’re happy. It’s making me nauseous.”

75. “Take my hand.” – “Why?” – “I’m trying to ask you to marry me! So, take my damned hand!”

76. “Well, do as I say, not as I do.”

77. “Come here.” – “Why?” – “Just come here!” – “No, you’re gonna hit me!”

78. “I’m fine.” – “You don’t look fine.” – “Then stop looking.”

79. “You need to stop doing that!” – “Doing what?” – “Things that make me want to kiss you.”

80. “I’m not a doctor, but I think he’s dead.”

81. “I’d love to insult you, but I’m afraid I won’t do as well as nature did.”

82. “Want to come over? Nobody’s home.” – “On my way.” – “I’m here, where are you?” – “Told you nobody’s home.”

Characters:

Divergent:

Eric

Four

Hunger Games:

Peeta

Gale

Finnick

The walking dead:

Daryl

Negan

Rick

Glenn

NCIS:

Gibbs

Criminal MInds:

Hotchner

Spencer

Lord of the rings:

Aragorn

Legolas

Frodo

Sam

Merry

Pippin

The Hobbit:

Thranduil

White Collar:

Neal

Percy Jackson:

Percy

Luke

Riverdale:

Jughead

FP Jones

Harry Potter:

Harry

Ron

Draco

Fred & George

Tom Riddle

Snape

Neville

Marvel:

Loki

Thor

Captain America

Iron Man

Actors:

Tom Hiddleston

Benedict Cumberbatch

Jeffrey Dean Morgan

Sebastian Stan

Jai Courtney

Tom Felton

Jeremy Renner

Bill Skarsgard

YouTube:

Dan Howell

Markiplier

[andillcomebacktoyousomeday]

2/7/2018

My darling,

There is something in Japanese culture called a confession letter. The term itself is pretty self-explanatory, but an interesting thing about a confession letter is that you can give it someone you’ve never spoken to, but have adored. Thankfully, in this instance, I both know you and adore you, and I have the advantage in that you already know how I feel.

“anyway, just in case I forget to mention it, I love you. Did I get around to mentioning that?”                                 -JD Sallinger

The last four years have been hard on us Jon, in different ways, but in ways that no doubt changed us. I can confidently say that you are the biggest happening in my life thusfar; let me explain why. 

“there are moments which mark your life. Moments when you realize nothing would ever be the same, and time is divided into two parts-- before this, and after this”                              -Fallen, 1998

We shared a doughnut and had hot chocolate on our way to Hoover Dam. The water level was very low then; you had mentioned that to me. We walked up and down the shore, throwing rocks and talking. You noticed my flowery shoes (which I still have) and you were concerned that they would get ruined. After a while, we sat on some rocks and you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I told you that I wanted to wear skirts and travel and be barefoot and not pay bills and wear flowers in my hair. I laughed and said “but that’s not really realistic,” and without missing a beat, you said “well, why not?”

“before this and after this,” mind you. 

I didn’t know it at the time, but I had just had my Pam moment when she tells Jim that she knew she liked him after the mixed-berry yogurt incident. At that moment, as we’ve both explained to one another, what I thought was love was wrong. At this point, I had been with Jeremy for a year and a half, and not once had I felt anything close to what I felt in that moment with you. And I knew that to be with anyone but you would be settling. You were it, and I was scared. 

“Meanwhile, Delores says we’re put here to do one thing” * “One thing? What’s that?” * “Its different. Its different for everybody, hers is lasagna” “Lasagna?” “That’s just her opinion. But its like, when a moment comes...we either do the right thing or wrong”                             -Fallen, 1998

I did the wrong thing. I knew, deep, that I loved you, but I stayed with Jeremy because I was afraid. I was 19...who finds that person when they were 19? I felt like I had been asleep before you, and meeting you woke me up to all of the beauty I was missing. I had finally opened my eyes, and there you were, smiling at me and sitting on a rock. It was...overwhelming, for us both; what I felt was so powerful that there was no way you couldn’t feel it too. It was so big, bigger than me, and I was scared. 

Part II of why I was scared: (See *)-- my purpose, my “one thing” is to love. It is undoubtedly what I am best at and I feel fulfilled when I am showing someone that I love them. A person’s purpose, that’s a big deal Jon. I not only knew you were the person that I was supposed to...give this to/do this with, but I wanted to. I felt alive with you and I felt whole with you--who accomplishes their purpose at 19? All I wanted/needed was happening; what if I wasn’t ready? (we weren’t), what if I wasn’t good at it? what would the rest of my life look like? Too big, and I was too small. My formula before you was to be friends with someone for years before dating/showing interest in them. So imagine my surprise:

“your soul knew my soul            5 long before we needed skin       7 to spend a life in”                       5                            -Tyler Knott Gregson

Part III of why I was scared: I had no plan

Even still, I kepy getting closer to you. I took pictures for you, watched movies for you so that we could talk about them, I talked to you on the phone... I didn’t even talk to my own boyfriend on the phone. It became clear to me that I had to be very careful when I mentioned you to Jeremy; I shone so much brighter when I said your name. It was then I began to realize that being with Jeremy was no longer fair to anyone involved. This was another year after The Moment at Hoover. I was being heard, and I craved listening for the first time in my life. You called about the fucking pie...if The Moment at Hoover wasn’t the moment, that would’ve been it. Whenever I think about that moment, it seems unreal; what had I done to be treated this way? Did I deserve it?

(Memory is a funny thing, no? Ask me to explain it if you’d like, and I will.)

When I was still with Jeremy was the first time you disappeared. You had told me that it was too hard, me being with Jeremy:

“when a moment comes...we either do the right thing, or wrong.”

You tried to explain to me, but I wasn’t capable of understanding what I didn’t understand (what happens when it is too big and I am too small). But you came back.

Time gone: 3 months

I leave Jeremy; I had realized the difference between love and in love--care to guess which was you? I come to see you at Miami; a whole weekend, a whole you to myself. The four hour backroads drive was more than worth it. I had unsurprisingly elected to share the bed with you for the weekend, and we rented 7 movies to keep us company in the unbearble heat. 

Little details: the mini lights that you had hung from the bottom of the top bunk, you kissing my inner thighs, me not wanting to move my leg during our movie theatre movie just in case you moved your hand, the most painful goodbye to date. 

The words “I love you” burned in my mouth as we lay there before leaving; I can see the exact moment very clearly. We said goodbye instead, afterall, you were going to be there all summer, and when I got home, I immediately tried to plan to see you again. Then:

Time gone (total): 1 year, 3 months

I was deeply hurt and confused. I thought that you had felt the same about me, but how could that be if you left? You don’t leave the people you love. Again, this is another example of how much I didn’t know: heartbreak. I thought when my 8th grade boyfriend broke up with me over instant messenger that that was heartbreak. This, you leaving, was much deeper than a heartbreak, so deep that I ached. You leaving also made it very clear to me that I was a very intense person, and a person that you were not ready for yet. I had done nothing but crash into you since we met, and your bruises were beginnging to show. 

I did not realize the damage I had caused, and it was selfish as a result. So much realization occurs after the fact. I had to rationalize you leaving to ever have any hope of moving past it (I didn’t); I blamed myself. What is interesting is that just recently I’ve begun to understand just how damaging that was. I was a person already filled with self-doubt, and then to place the blame on myself for the loss of the love of my life... I didn’t trust myself, so I became a person entirely different from myself. 

The most accurate way to describe this period was that something inside me had broken. My emotional nature had finally surfaced. I no longer trusted, I no longer opened up to anyone, I stared at my bookshelf a lot. I couldn’t listen to First Aid Kit or Bon Iver or Band of Horses. I couldn’t wear the swan shirt I had worn when we had shared our pie. I was angry and I was sad and I was exhausted from being both all of the time. But yet I still had to get up everyday and drive past Hoover to go to school. Your absence affected me so deeply; I could hear people getting tired of me. But I just couldn’t make sense of the fact that I had all of these feelings with no place to put them.

Sometime in September: “I’m back in Ohio and I’m thinkning we should talk.”

We had Mexican food and joked about the midget-sized jerseys framed and displayed on the wall. I had discovered that you had gotten a new car; I was still looking for your white Neon. You went to Hoover and explained to me why you had gone (I blamed the Oregon trees) and you had promised to do better going forward. You said you weren’t going to kiss me, but instead kissed my hand. I asked if you were okay. You said that you were and then we drove away.

Time gone (total): 5 years, 3 months

There are some things that I will reiterate here. I was depressed. There are no words for how the winters felt. I listened to First Aid Kit and visited Hoover when I needed to cry, otherwise I would numb myself to it. I no longer trusted; I had naiively assumed that just because I was good to people, that they would be good to me. I no longer trusted anyone to be good to me. I began as a person that trusted until given a reason not to--I became a person that didn’t trust until proven otherwise. I had to function as best I could with a missing piece. At times I had (unsuccessfully) foolishly convinced myself that I was over you (I now realize that I don’t think that would ever be possible) and quickly realized that you were like the tide. All of the beautiful things were still beautiful, but they were painful. People were still tired of me; “but you two didn’t acutally date, right?” They didn’t understand. And how could they when I am certain that they had never experienced this before? How could I expect them to understand what even I didn’t? Words are hard, but “lost” seems to be the best one. 

Cara: “Okay, dad, I love Marty” Dan: “Oh, please” Cara: “Dad! Stop, listen! I didn’t know right away! It took me a while!” Dan: “how long is a while?” Cara: “I’ve only known him for three weeks, but I knew in three days” Dan: “Three days?! You can’t know in three days!” Cara: “Yes you can!” Dan: “No, no.”                                                       **** Dan: “See, I got a little confused with Marie. I kind of lost my head, I got a little stupid because I love her. No...that’s not...I didn’t mean... I don’t lover her, and that’s not what I meant because, I mean, how could I love her? I’ve only known her---” Cara: “Three days” Dan: “Yeah, and how can you know in three days? Well, no. Yes, I do. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I... love her”                                                     -Dan in Real Life, 2007

They didn’t understand, and I still couldn’t, and I continued to blame myself. I constantly second-guessed myself or asked myself if I was making the right decision, in every aspect of my life. I was the reason that you had gone; it made the most sense. For 2 of the 4 years you had been gone, I was emotionally unreachable. When I finaly sat at the end of the day, I thought about whether or not you were okay, and if you missed me as much as I missed you. I went to Hoover Dam often during this time in hopes of catching you there. Alliance Data would bring lunch parties into Bdubs and I would wonder if you would show up and order your asian zing boneless. You once told me that you had called Bdubs to see if I was working, and hung up when I answered the phone. From that point on, I would wonder if every hang up that I got was you. The hurt and pain that I felt didn’t go away, but got easier to deal with. I knew that one day you and I would come back to eachother, but I didn’t trust that you would stay. How could I, afterall? I will be honest and tell you that this trust is something that I am currently struggling with--I am afraid that at any moment, I may do something that will scare you away (four years of blaming myself for leaving is not easily erased). I am trying, but I will need patience.

June 2017:

You like a 5-year-old Facebook post; First Aid Kit lyrics and the railroad tracks that you had sent me from Indiana. “Maybe it just popped up on his Facebook memories.” No, they didn’t understand. This meant something, After 4 years of silence, and this is the post that you picked? That you had searched for? “Thank you (thank you)”... "This may sound insane, but that seems like an echo to me. And I showed him that band...” They didn’t understand. If I didn’t know, my soul sure did. 

“I’ve come to the conclusion that our souls have known eachother for lifetimes, because that it the only way that a love on this level can exist”                                                           -Echo Durant, 2018

I waited...after 4 years of silence, why now? I was angry. Why that post? (I knew why). Why was it all that I could think about? Then it hit me: this was you coming back to me. You tell me of your past. This was especially hard to deal with. I had wondered and worried about whether or not you were okay, and you weren’t. I could’ve lost you Jon, permanently, and I wouldn’t have known. That is the thought that literally haunts me. Rememeber: to be with anyone but you would be settling. Remember: I knew you were the only person that I could give this to/do this with. I felt whole with you. I take you to Hoover, because where else would we go? That place was ours. 

Time gone (total): 5 years, 5 months

“I’m not in Ohio, I’m in Oregon.”

2,438.9 miles my darling, and yet this is the closest that we’ve been. “What do you mean he’s in Oregon? He didn’t tell you?” They didn’t understand. Under the trees is where you need to be. I am more and more beginning to trust that you will stay, and more importantly that you will stay safe. I trust the trees with you until I can be there. My friend Leia says that I should write a book about “our story,” and I suppose if I ever were, this is how it would begin. What I am most excited for is everything to come. 

“Anyway, just in case I forgot to mention it, I love you. Did I get around to mentioning that?”

“I belong with you, you belong with me, you’re my sweetheart”

“Stockholm’s cold but I’ve been told I was born to endure this kind of weather”

“if I was a flower growin’ wild and free, all I’d want is you to be my sweet honeybee”

“home is wherever I’m with you” ________________________________________________________________

“for I found myself attached to this railroad track, and I’ll come back to you, someday.”

________________________________________________________________

“Sometimes our bodies and souls scream things our mouths can’t. We’ve been screaming at eachother since we met.”

I know that my soul can only be the best version it can be when it is with your soul.

[deadpan-dan-blog]

Act 1: Goofing Off (pt. 1)

“Alright bro, here’s the deal; I’ll get you a 12 pack of whatever you want if you go around the parking lot and put stray carts in the shopping cart thingies- You know what I’m talking about?”

“Uh huh…”

“Also pick up any trash you come across. Don’t touch anything gross this time though or mom won’t let me hear the end of it- You hear me Germ?”

“Kaaay.”

“Good. Now what do you want, little bro?”

“Lemon-lime Fiasco.”

“Sure thing! Be back to check on you in a bit.” the older boy took the 12 year old’s hat and ruffled his feathers a bit, making him cringe, before gently replacing the hat. Germ looked at the high schoolers for a second, narrowed his eyes, then walked away.

“Seems like a good kid.” Dan said as they headed back to the Food Donkey.

“He is, he can be a real werido though.” his friend replied

“How so?” Dan asked as the automatic doors opened and the friends walked toward the registers.

“Okay so, few months back,” he began “before you started working here, I had him doing the parking lot, like usual, yeah? And- Hang on. Heeey Beth! We finished the parking lot.”

“That was quick…” she said with suspicion.

“I’m always quick. It’s called experience, Beth! Think you’d have some after working here for a decade or whatever. Also people put their carts away for us, so courteous! I love this town. Seeya in a bit!” Beth gave a questioning look. Though younger than thirty she already had wrinkles, probably from chain-smoking, Dan thought

“It’s done, really.” Dan assured her “We’re gonna go do inventory. With both of us on it, we should be able to get out of here at closing.”

“Riiight… I’ll do front then.” Beth said unenthused.

“Thanks Beth.” Dan said before jogging slightly to catch up to his coworker, who hadn’t bothered to stop.

“Okay so anyway, my bro’s doing the parking lot right?”

“Yeah?”

“So I come out with his stuff and everything’s done but he’s nowhere to be seen!”

“Oh no.”

“So I start yellin’ ‘Jeremy! Jeremy!’ for like 10 minutes! Until he comes back and I ask him what the eff, dude? Turns out he found a dead possum and instead of not touching it like a normal person, he carried it off to the woods so he could ‘lay it to rest with it’s own kind’ or something.”

“Wow.”

“So I tell him ‘You better go inside the store and wash your hands or so help me God! And don’t touch anything or you’ll start a plague or something.’ You know what he did?”

“hehe What?” Dan asked with anticipation as he grabbed a scan gun.

“He looked me right in the eye, yelled ‘GERM WARFARE!’ grabbed the soda out of my hands and ran away!” Dan burst into laughter.

“HAHAHAHAH haha oh my haha oh my god”

“And thus he is dubbed.” he concluded

“Heeeeh indeed” Dan agreed, as his laughter devolved into wheezing. “Here, you want the gun? heh”

“Yeah yeah- gimme.” he fiddled with the buttons until the red light shone at the end.

“Okay, maybe that’s a bit odd but aren’t we all? Especially you, James.” Dan said to his friend, who was holding the scan gun like a Navy Seal, flashing the red light at the wall.

“What? Naah.”

“Uh yaah. You’re weird, dude. Must run in the family. Except your brother’s like, goofy, but you’re, like, an asshole.” Dan said teasingly

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” he said indignantly

“Remember when you basically told Miss Quelcy that her art class sucked and her nose was crooked?” Dan began handing items to James for him to scan and enter how many were in stock.

“What? The sheet said to give my honest feedback so I did! I didn’t think she was gonna cry about it.” James explained.

“What did you expect? You don’t just say stuff like that to people, dude. They get, like, offended.”

“Is that my fault though? Should I just lie to people?”

“Just find something nice to say, I guess.” Dan suggested

“She never found anything nice to say about my artwork.” James pouted

“Damn…” Dan was slightly taken aback, “Well the school gave her like no funding for that class.”

“Then why make us take it? Really sounds like this is the school’s fault.”

“You didn’t have to say that about her nose though.” Dan insisted

“It asked for additional comments and she said to fill out every section. She was literally asking for it. I thought it would be funny. Anyway, I apologized!”

“Yeah you said ‘I’m sorry your nose is crooked.’”

“Yeah?��� James held his hand up in a questioning gesture.

“I can’t quite tell if you’re an asshole or just dumb.” Dan admitted.

“I could kill you right now, Danny-boy.” James threatened.

“Uh huh” Dan brushed off the threat focusing on the shelf he was rearranging.

“Boom!” James fired the scan light directly at Dan’s face.

“Ah my eyes! What the hell?!” Dan complained

“Oh sorry. You know I’d never want to hurt your pretty little eyes.” James mocked

“Do you really wanna get in a fist fight right now?” Dan asked

“Yes.”

“You sure you want some of this, short stuff?” Dan asked with a sideways look as they squared up in the back room.

“I’m one of the best wrestlers in our region!” James stated indignantly.

“In your weight class maybe. I’m like 20lbs heavier than you though.”

“Stop stalling! You don’t stand a chance, Danielle.” James lowered his head and entered a fighting pose

“Oh now it’s personal, Jamie!” Dan matched James pose then they clashed. Dan threw out a few playful punches to begin with, utilizing his range advantage. James grabbed one of Dan’s punches and counter-attacked, trying to play it off as effortless. Dan dodged and rewarded his hubris by tackling James to the ground. The boys wrestled for a bit with Dan getting the upper hand, then James, then Dan again. Eventually, they ended up in a pushing match, legs bent, arms locked, in a match of pure strength and Dan would win imminently…

Or so he thought. James instead let up completely on his end, allowing Dan to unexpectedly push him over and used the momentum as he rolled backward to flip Dan over his body with his legs. Dan fell onto his back on the floor and before he could react, James used the opportunity to jump on top of Dan and pin him. Dan struggled to regain freedom.

“That was a dirty trick!” Dan complained

“Told ya!” James said triumphantly

Dan continued to struggle for a moment until he realized he was vaguely enjoying the feel of James’ body on top of his, though he would never admit it and certainly didn’t want to bump James the wrong way and make this even more embarrassing for himself. He was looking Dan in the eyes with an oblivious grin. Dan’s blue-green eyes stared into James’ maroon ones for longer than two friends normally should, but to look away now would be to admit defeat. However, James’ gaze, dark with cocky mischief and a glimmer of child-like innocence, as well as their bodies rubbing together was starting to get the better of him.

“You can get off me now.” Dan said breaking eye contact in embarrassment.

“You gotta tap out, dude!” James insisted. Dan gave an irritated look before reluctantly tapping the ground to signal his defeat. James jumped off of Dan as quickly as he had jumped on and offered his hand to help his friend up.

“That trick won’t work twice.” Dan warned as he accepted James’ hand and returned to his feet.

“We’ll have a rematch sometime, but first, lets go check on my brother.” James walked out of the backroom without waiting for his friend, like always, giving Dan some time to calm down and readjust himself before following. That was… weird. We’ve done that before but I’ve never...

Author Note:

[[DISCLAIMER I am not a writer I’m just doing this for fun. This is full of personal headcanons you can accept or reject at your discretion. I debated James Warton’s height internally for a long time, for example. More Germ in the next part coming tomorrow. I have planned 3 acts I’m not sure when act 2 will be done though. I hope you enjoy it even if the main cast is missing. It’s nice to know what came before in Possum Springs though right? I may incorporate more characters in the future but only if it comes to me naturally.]]

[allforthequeen]

Mine

Pairing: Andreil

Prompt: “@mac-noa Could you do a prompt where Neil gets hit on by a lot of people and is completely oblivious about it. The foxes think it’s hilarious and Andrew doesn’t mind as long as they don’t get too close”

The first time it happened, Neil was already late for practice as a consequence of falling asleep in the library again.

 As he flew down the steps, Neil felt his phone vibrate, and seconds after he stopped to dig it out of his pocket he was tumbling as the weight of another body went with him. When he hit the pavement, the body sprawled out on top of him groaned a little bit before jumping off of him shrieking in delight. “Oh my god you’re on the Exy team!” Neil rolled over onto his back to see a small girl, hair pulled up into a tight ponytail to keep it from covering her obnoxiously bright “Go Foxes!” sweatshirt. “Sorry, what?” Neil squinted and sat up a little bit and ran a hand through his hair. “No, don’t even apologize oh my god I don’t even care. You’re Neil Josten!” The girl continued to squeal excitedly and Neil groaned as the high pitched sounds rang in his ears. Before he could say anything else, a strong hand scooped him up from underneath his arm. “Yep and Neil is late for Exy practice so he’s gotta go. Sorry again.” Matt’s voice stirred Neil out of the shock of falling down a flight of stairs and he heard him chuckle as he dragged him off to the car. 

The second time it happened, the team was seated in a booth at Sweetie’s during another of their rare outings together. Neil was sat on the edge, across from Andrew and next to Allison who was quietly tapping away on her phone. A waitress had just taken their order before another one showed up to drop off waters for the lot. “Hey sugar what happened to your head there?” Her voice dripped with a thick southern accent and it made Neil cringe as his hand reached up to brush over the cut on his forehead from his fall the week before. “I fell.” He replied simply. “Aw, little clumsy are we now. You ought to be more careful, don’t wanna ruin that pretty face of yours.” Neil felt Allison shaking in silent laughter next to him and he could feel Andrew’s stare. “What? Thanks, I guess.” Neil didn’t get it. The waitress winked and flounced away, and Neil turned his confused gaze to his teammates who began to cough and return to nonexistent conversations in an attempt to conceal their laughter. By the time the ice cream was delivered, a single napkin had been slid in front of Neil with a name and a phone number. Neil didn’t even get a chance to notice it before Andrew snatched it up and the whole team was dying from laughter, only stopping after the look Andrew shot them threatened to ruin their night of team bonding.

It happened again once they reached the club, Neil went with Andrew to fetch drinks from Roland as usual and Roland returned with a tray in one hand and a glass in the other. “This is for you,” Roland said as he handed over the impossibly full tray over to Andrew, “and this,” as he held the glass out to Neil, “is for you.” Neil stared at the glass in Roland’s outstretched hand without any intention of taking it. “I don’t drink.” Roland laughed, “Oh I know, it’s not from me, that gentleman over there threatened to jump my bar if I didn’t send this over.” Roland set the glass down and walked away before Neil had a chance to reply, and he guided his stare to where Roland had pointed to see a man, presumably in his mid to late thirties, smiling at Neil. Andrew snorted and grabbed Neil’s arm with his free hand, guiding him back to the table and leaving Roland’s drink at the bar. “What took so long! I was beginning to think I was gonna die waiting at this nasty table” Nicky exclaimed, stealing the tray from Andrew and distributing drinks to the others. “Some dude was holding us up, well more specifically towards Neil,” Andrew replied, bored. Dan coughed in an unsuccessful attempt to cover a laugh and Neil looked at Andrew blankly. By the time the group had all been dragged into the center of the dance floor, everyone except for Neil Andrew and Renee was drunk. An overly giddy Nicky danced his way over to Neil and Andrew and yelled “Hey! Neil! Some old dude’s been cruisin’ you for the last 5 minutes! Want me to get him off your back?” Neil looked around to spot the man from the bar a few feet away from where Dan and Matt were dancing, once again he smiled at Neil. “ Um, no I’m alright Andrew’s here.” Nicky laughed, “Ok, but when the cops come, I’m running.” Neil turned back around to see Andrew, standing with his arms crossed while Renee and Allison danced around him. “Hey, what’s a nice boy like yourself doing without a date on the dance floor.” Neil turned to look at the man as his hand settled on Neil’s shoulder. Andrew was by his side at the next second, “I’d watch what I do next if I were you,” his voice was tense. The man laughed and squeezed Neil’s shoulder, “Ah you’re not alone. Don’t worry, your boyfriend can dance with us too if he wants to, the more the merrier.” Neil didn’t even know that Andrew had moved until the man was pinned face down on the floor with Andrew’s knee in his back and arms around his neck. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Matt and Renee handing money to a smug Allison. 

Neil began to grow more confused as the weeks passed by. The people he met treated him strangely and their interactions always caused whichever one of his friends who were with him to stifle laughs that didn’t go unnoticed by Neil. Their second game of the fall season the Foxes were to face the USC Trojans. Kevin was in an unsurprisingly good mood when they set out to warm up and hour before first serve and his excitement showed when he spotted Trojan captain Jeremy Knox step onto the court. The Foxes and the Trojans greeted each other in good nature (or as good of nature as Aaron and Andrew could manage) before the Foxes set out on their laps around the court. 

Halfway through their third lap Neil bent down to tie his shoe, and seconds later he was sprawled out on the court with the Trojans backliner groaning in pain a few feet away. “What happened? Are you okay?” a still startled Neil moved over to the backliner, and saw a bruise the size of an Exy ball beginning to form on his upper arm. Jean ran over with Jeremy close at his heels “Idiot took a hit from a stray ball for you. It would have hit you in the head since you are,” he paused when Jeremy sent him a look as hostile as Jeremy Knox could be, “vertically challenged.” Jeremy still slapped him on the backside of his head, but a small smile could be seen on Jean’s face. “Why would you do that, what if you got seriously hurt?” Neil interrogated the Trojan, who had now sat up and was holding his arm. “That face, can’t let that get too beat up.” He coughed a nervous cough and quickly followed, “and we can’t have you injured and unable to play before the game even starts. I’ve been dreaming about this game for weeks, the day when I finally get to go against Neil Josten on the court.” He placed his hand lightly on Neil’s knee, and Neil stared at him dumbly.

He heard the other Foxes in the distance as they sniggered and laughed. “Wh-” he was cut off by Kevin who walked over to him and rolled his eyes at Neil. He started speaking in rapid French, “If you say ‘what’ one more time I will personally see that you do not play this game. How can one person be so dumb, it’s been months of these ridiculous encounters and you still can not take a hint. People like to flirt with you Neil, and you look at them as if they’re growing a second head. We have so many bets placed on you, and I lost money to Allison a few weeks ago because Andrew lost his shit when that geriatric creep got too close to you. Open your eyes Neil” Kevin paused and then continued in English. “The next time I see you and your stupidity again you will be running drills until your arms fall off.” and with that, he walked away. The backliner looked sheepishly at Neil, then slightly in fear as Andrew walked up to take his place at Neil’s side. “Watch yourself,” he growled, as he guided Neil away from the crowd of players that had formed around them. “Why didn’t you say anything?” Neil asked Andrew as they made their way towards the locker room. Andrew sighed and replied without looking at Neil, “I’m not gonna be your fucking knight in shining armor or protect you like you’re my bitch every time some waste of oxygen talks to you. I simply don’t like when people touch what’s mine.” Neil grinned, and wrapped his arm around Andrew’s shoulder to kiss the top of his head, causing Andrew to glare at him but not pull away. 

[ricky-rampage]

Favorite Movies 2016

Ah, 2016. Honestly, the less said about it, the better. But I’m a sucker for making lists and I think I’ll always have a compulsivity to make my top ten movies list of the year until the day cinema ends (which will hopefully be never). This wasn’t a particularly great year for film; there was a lot of “okay,” plenty of “meh,” but not too much “holy effing shit where’s the bottom of my jaw?!” However, there thankfully were ten movies that tickled my fancy. They are:

10. MIDNIGHT SPECIAL--This one surprised me. It lacks a true heart, or the heart keeps bouncing around between different characters while never fully latching on, but I still found myself enthralled. The way little bits are revealed here and there always felt natural and smooth, never forced. Jeff Nichols is skilled in nuance, which has been hit or miss for me with his past work. This is the first time I really got what he was going for. Now he just needs to inject some heart into his stories and he’ll be a master (I’m hoping Loving accomplishes this).

9. THE NICE GUYS--While it’s no Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, it’s still a worthy entry into the buddy cop mystery movie. Russell Crowe and Ryan Gosling’s chemistry sparkles. The dialogue is original and hilarious. There’s a star turn from young Angourie Rice. It kind of devolves into standard shootout flare by the end, but the journey up to that point was pure entertainment.

8. MANCHESTER BY THE SEA--Though I wish I was more emotionally affected by this film, it’s still a very well done and well acted take on grief. It’s one of those movies where not a lot really happens, but everything happens. Casey Affleck, Michelle Williams and Lucas Hedges are all amazing, and the dialogue is some of the most realistically funny writing I’ve seen uttered on screen in a long time.

7. CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR--I think this is the most thematically resonant entry into the Marvel Cinematic Universe, especially in this sudden era of fake news. We believe the story with which we’re being presented, even when we don’t have all the facts. It’s about perspective. When it comes to clashing perspectives, communication is key; having a dialogue about issues insures a healthy debate and hopefully a satisfying compromise. When it’s superheroes having the debate, though, dialogue is tough and everyone ends up brawling at an airport hangar. Don’t forget this is popcorn fodder, but it was my favorite popcorn fodder of the year.

6. KUBO & THE TWO STRINGS--a visually astounding work of art. Watching this film just gave me a sense of joy that other animated films didn’t give me this year (I’m looking at you, Finding Dory, you and your pointlessness). This is a tale about a storyteller who finds himself in one of his own stories, becoming the hero he never knew he was born to be. A lot of it is silly, but most of it is fun, and all of it is beautiful.

5. THE WITCH--Funny story, I went to go see this a week or two after it came out with my friend, Sean, but we only stayed in the theater for about thirty minutes because of the worst film audience I’d ever experienced. Someone behind us was translating the whole film to his friend from English to Spanish, a mentally disabled man in front of us kept laughing at inappropriate times and shaking his head violently back and forth, and overall, your run-of-the-mill talking and cell phone usage from everyone else. Months later, I watched the movie on Amazon, and it was great. The end.

4. ARRIVAL--The thinking person’s alien invasion movie. This doesn’t have to rely on special effects or big action. This is a story about understanding one another that just happens to have aliens and special effects in it. Amy Adams gives an understated performance as a linguist caught in the middle of a mystery that almost everyone else sees as having a cut-and-dry solution. Jeremy Renner and Forrest Whitaker are just kind of there, but who cares? This is Adams’ story. A story of her character understanding her past, present, future, and herself. And it has aliens.

3. MOONLIGHT--So rarely does a movie come along that feels so un-Hollywood. Something that just comes off as HUMAN and never becomes melodramatic or dull. Moonlight pulls it off in strides. The story of a boy, then an adolescent, and then a man, and what it means to be all of them, sometimes all at once (I guess that only really applies for the last one, but it’s still there). Chrion is a character caught in the middle of too many worlds and I felt his uncertainty as he does his best to explore who he really is. Never exploitative, always real, Moonlight is kind of amazing.

2. LA LA LAND--This movie should not have been as remarkable as it is. It’s a fairly standard story, it’s a cheesy musical, and it’s not based on any preexisting material, which in this day and age, we know is a big no-no *barfs and dies*. But somehow, everything in this movie is near perfection. The songs: catchy and wondrous. The direction: Damien Chazelle, you are a god among insects. The performances: nothing flashy from Emma Stone or Ryan Gosling here, but I believed everything they did, including breaking into song and dance. All at once, La La Land is a tribute to classic cinema, a glimpse into where cinema is heading, and a time-honored tale of pursuing your dreams and the sacrifices that come along with that pursuit.

1. A MONSTER CALLS--This happens every year: my two favorite movies come down to what affects me emotionally and what wows me with its sheer filmmaking prowess. And like every year, the emotional film takes the cake. A Monster Calls caused me to suppress literal howls in a crowded theater, and I know I’m not the only one who experienced such a sensation. Ugly, ugly tears, and I’m grateful for every single one. Even if you haven’t experienced the tragic loss of a loved one, A Monster Calls is incredibly effective thanks to its beautiful performances from Felicity Jones, Sigourney Weaver and young stand-out Lewis MacDougall. It hooked me, reeled me in, and continues to squeeze me tightly in a comforting embrace (you know, like you usually do with fish). That’s why it’s my favorite film of the year.

Movies I didn’t manage to see in time: Silence, Sing Street, Hell or High Water, 20th Century Women, The Founder, Hunt For the Wilderpeople.

Favorite performances of the year: Hailee Steinfeld in The Edge of Seventeen, Aaron Taylor-Johnson in Nocturnal Animals, Lucas Hedges in Manchester By the Sea, Emma Stone in La La Land, Dan Fogler in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.

Special Jury Prize: Paint It Black. I’m not sure when this will get an official release, but I saw it at the Mill Valley Film Festival and it’s a disturbing treat.

Now for five movies that kind of stunk. Well, more than kind of. A few of them burned my sinuses away.

-1. X-MEN: APOCALYPSE--Out of the near two and a half hour runtime, I’d say there’s barely ninety minutes of actual story here. The rest is plodding, (not very good) effects-driven schlock and fan service. It lacks purpose; it’s just sort of there.

-2. THE GIRL ON THE TRAIN--Hitchcock you are not. Even Gone Girl you are not. Shit, you’re barely Hollywood Homicide (how’s that for a reference?).

-3. BATMAN V. SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE--Can anyone tell me what this movie was about besides franchise building? No? Moving on then.

-4. SUICIDE SQUAD--Is this film the perfect example of A) studios interfering with a director’s vision, B) a film believing it can get by on massive hype while remaining limp and unnecessary, or C) just pure dumbness? I’ll go with D) all of the above.

-5. INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE--I’ll quote from my review from last summer because I don’t want to waste any more brain power coming up with new ways to shit on this piece of shit: “...a slapdash string of CGI vomit, shoehorned references to the first film for nostalgia’s sake, and not a lick of emotional depth whatsoever.” So. Fucking. Worthless.

Please be good, 2017. Pretty please. All the cherries on top.

[gokinjeespot]

off the rack #1244

Monday, January 7, 2019

 I hope you all are having a happier New Year than I did. Our Aunt Helen passed away just before the end of 2018 out in Victoria and my Grandma passed away January 4. Both ladies were in their nineties and lived full and loving lives. That eases my sadness a lot. Another big loss for me was when The Comicshop in Vancouver closed its doors forever on January 4 as well. The Comicshop was where I started my comics retailing career in 1980, working there for 10 years. It was where I was head hunted to manage The Silver Snail in Ottawa where I worked happily from 1990 to 2015. I took over writing "off the rack" from Chris Brayshaw in the late eighties and continue to express my thoughts on the comic books that I read every week. I have talked to both Keith Bickford and Brent Stratichuk, the two stalwart lads whose capable hands I left the 'Shop with and they are doing okay. I tried to console them by sharing my experiences when The Silver Snail in Ottawa closed after 25 years. The Comicshop lasted 44 years and it will be missed by everyone who became a part of the family generated there over those years.

 Endings give way to new beginnings and I hope the start of 2019 begins to look better for everyone.

 Penny presented me with The Complete Far Side for Christmas and I finished reading all three volumes by New Year's Day. Aside from delighting in Gary Larson's warped sense of humour again I greatly enjoyed the letters that were included alongside some of his cartoons. I especially liked the letters to newspaper editors complaining about some of them. I wonder how much more outrage we would be able to see now with the prevalence of social media. There are also a few pages of Gary writing about his time doing the strip which made me appreciate them even more.

 Iron Man #7 - Dan Slott with Jeremy Whitley (writers) Valerio Schiti (art) Edgar Delgado (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). Stark Realities part 2. As exciting and beautifully drawn as this issue is I have to wonder when Tony Stark is going to stop trying to fix the world's problems with tech that can then be hacked and endanger innocent lives. Remember when Reed Richards used to do that too? Uh oh, Dan Slott also writes Fantastic Four so I guess we'll be seeing this plot device used again.

 Marvel Knights #5 - Matthew Rosenberg  & Donny Cates (writers) Niko Henrichon (art) Laurent Grossat (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). What seems to be a fight of misunderstanding turns out to be a shocking revelation when the Black Panther and the four woke super heroes meet. You can tell that this isn't the "real" Marvel U because the Kingpin would not have been able to overpower Doctor Doom like that. The twist at the end persuaded me to keep reading.

 Immortal Hulk #11 - Al Ewing (writer) Joe Bennett (pencils) Ruy Jose (inks) Paul Mounts (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). This issue would feel right at home in a comparative religion class. What is the nature of hell? That's where the Hulk finds himself after his fight with the Absorbing Man. I appreciate the higher level of writing that this book has. It stimulates my brain.

 Archie #701 - Nick Spencer (writer) Marguerite Sauvage (art) Jack Morelli (letters). Archie has a new girlfriend? I like the possibilities that this new relationship has to offer. The mystery surrounding the disappearance of Reggie's dad is going to shock the town of Riverdale and that's more than enough reason to keep reading this book.

 Books of Magic #3 - Kat Howard (writer) Tom Fowler (illustrator) Jordan Boyd (colours) Todd Klein (letters). It was nice to see the tribute to Stan Lee by the Distinguished Competition.

 Action Comics #1006 - Brian Michael Bendis (writer) Ryan Sook (art) Brad Anderson (colours) Josh Reed (letters). Invisible Mafia part 6. You would think that with this story's title that when we finally meet the villain plaguing Superman that it would be some Don Corleone type guy. Nope, no Italians here. It's round two of Superman versus the Red Cloud. I liked how the big blue boy scout tried to reason with the big red deadly gas bag. The last page made me smile with its homage to Action Comics #1. Ryan Sook is making this book a real treat to read.

 Runaways #17 - Rainbow Rowell (writer) Kris Anka (art) Matthew Wilson (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). That Was Yesterday Part 5. Time's up. The bad guys are back and they are going to wipe out humanity. Things get very complicated as these young heroes try to save the world. There's a hint to a time travel solution and I really hope they don't go that route. I like how one of the bad guys and one of the good guys flip the script. I can't wait to see what happens next.

 Man Without Fear #1 - Jed MacKay (writer) Danilo S. Beyruth (art) Andres Mossa (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). I stopped reading Daredevil a little while ago. It was one of my favourite titles for a very long time, but the addition of a sidekick and the bad guy with the multi-fingered hands turned me off. Then I find out that they "killed" DD and launched this new title. This first issue runs the gamut of all the incarnations that the blind super hero has had. It was neat for me because I've been around for all of it. I don't know that a new reader would appreciate all the changes and might even get confused by the different costumes. So Matt Murdock isn't dead. He's lying in a coma and his best friend Foggy Nelson comes to visit. This gives Jed MacKay a chance to tell you what makes Daredevil tick. I couldn't help but notice that the ghost tormenting Matt was wearing yellow and thinking what a coincidence it was that the Flash wears red and one of the Flash's arch villains wears yellow. I liked this enough to want to see how they're going to bring back the Man Without Fear. We don't have to wait long because #2 hits the racks on January 9.

 Champions #1 - Jim Zub (writer) Steven Cummings (art) Marcio Menyz & Erick Arciniega (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). I like this team of teen super heroes even though they are basically the Young Avengers. The biggest change in this relaunch is that the team has way more members. The original core members are still around but all the new faces had me wondering where they came from. Then there are the changes to some familiar characters. Amadeus Cho is now Brawn. Did something happen to his brain? Sam Alexander lost his Nova powers? Where did Snowguard come from? Is she Canadian? I'm sure if I kept reading all these questions will be answered as the kids go global in their mission to make a difference. Certainly the surprise villain on the last page piqued my curiosity.

 Heroes in Crisis #4 - Tom King (writer) Clay Mann (art) Tomeu Morey (colours) Clayton Cowles (letters). The cover shows Harley Quinn holding a smoking gun, standing over Wally West with one foot on his chest. If that doesn't get you to buy this comic book I don't know what will. We're four issues in to this murder mystery and I am slowly gaining some comprehension as to what Sanctuary is and how it relates to what's happening. My favourite thing this issue: the new Batgirl.

 Conan the Barbarian #1/LGY #276 - Jason Aaron (writer) Mahmud Asrar (art) Matthew Wilson (colours) VC's Travis Lanham (letters). The Life and Death of Conan part 1. For a time in my teens I was a rabid Robert E. Howard fanatic. I scoured book stores old and new for anything he wrote. I devoured his Conan books and cherished the ones with the covers by Frank Frazetta. I didn't start buying the Marvel original run of the comic book with #1 but purchased the very first issue (#4) that I saw on the spinner racks. I am waiting for the release of Volume One of the Conan Omnibus soon. Re-reading those Roy Thomas stories and relishing Barry Smith's art again is going to be a pleasure. I'm glad Jason Aaron is writing this new book. If anyone can capture the sense of adventure that R.E.H. did it's Jason. Mahmud Asrar's art is right up there with John Buscema so it's an easy decision to add this to my "must Read" list.