#dallon replies

[lizardinkart]

The further I get into Ward the more insane I feel logging onto wormblr and seeing the absolute ravine between Amy: Worm/Ward character, and Amy: Wormblr’s Little Skrunkly. Not for any particular reason, but having to hold my beloved cringefail problematic lesbian AND the deeply unnerving impact Ward Amy is having on me at the same time is about to hospitalize me with whiplash

For example, I finished 19.3 last night (with THAT scene), opened tumblr to Not Think About That for a minute, I forgot I follow Top Tier Amy Enjoyers, and this was about my emotional experience:

(Also because I went looking for it today to not vaguepost, the post I was trying to remember was a @cpericardium amy sketch, that doodle affected me spiritually and also shot me in the face /lh)

[sunshineintomyveins]

[amateurgraphics]

brobecks-esc Dallon Weekes layout

[green-and-grey]

okay we got a 50/50 shot of guessing correctly

idkhow: Choose

[lakesbian]

okay, as i have been encouraged by the public (like 2 people) to go forward with this research, i present the very scientific Tier List of Blonde Wildbow Characters Ranked From Most to Least Likely to Have A Piss Kink. virtually no one wanted this post. i did not want this post. it is 2.1k words long. i wanted to inform you of that before you clicked read more in case you were just expecting a tier list image and did not actually want to read 2.1k words about piss kinks.

wherein:

the tier list exists because of this ask, which was written in jesting response to the subject of victoria dallon's canon piss kink (more on that below) and somewhat intentionally misrepresented by me as being contextless because i thought it was funny to crop it and reply with 'ok.' which led to a massive containment breach and several thousand people not realizing anon was trying to make a joke. sorry. my bad, anon.

here, "likelihood of having a piss kink" is defined as "likelihood of having a kink that involves primarily or significantly urine," and genre of piss kink shall be clarified for the characters where it's a possibility.

no pictures are included for the characters because not all of them have fanart and also there's a lot of them and the tier list is only so big and i'm lazy

characters i do not know well enough to vibe check are not included

rationally speaking it would make most sense to presume that unless a character has a canon or heavily implied piss kink it is heavily implausible for them to have one but this post would be boring and pointless if i went that route so i'm going to include some somewhat baseless vibe-checking/discussion of hypotheticals where it's not explicitly disproven or improbable. with my bestest attempts to remain reasonable levels of character accurate given the post circumstances.

our ranks here are:

canon: this character canonically has a piss kink

highly plausible: there is strong contextual evidence that could be used to argue for the presence of a piss kink

plausible: based on more vibes/less solid evidence than "highly plausible," but a piss kink is still possible

could go either way: there is a lack of evidence in either direction, there's no way to make a clear argument on the matter

not very plausible: there is decent contextual evidence or simply Character Vibes that could be used to argue against the presence of a piss kink

strong evidence against: it can be deemed nigh-certain that this character does not have a piss kink

The Chart:

the characters who were not included because i do not know them personally (opinions welcomed):

all three ashleys

bianca

The Analysis:

Canon:

victoria: stated by wildbow to have some kind of "preferred fluid" you shouldn't drink, knows what urine tastes like. canon watersports kink. i hate her. i hope she stands within 20 feet of fentanyl and overdoses and dies. i hope she goes down a slide too hard.

Highly Plausible:

citrine: we know that accord is certainly and without doubt enough of a control freak (<- said w/ deep affection) that he insists that his ambassadors refrain from Wanton and Unprofessional Bathroom Breaks, but also insists that they never indicate they have to pee (or engage in any other basic bodily function) ever because that's Icky and if they do he will want to Rube Goldberg Machine But The Machine Is A Saw Trap them about it. and we know that citrine gets off on him being a control freak. it can thus be reasonably extrapolated that she's constantly doing accidental omorashi w/ accord and is just as into that as she is all the other aspects of control. the piss is incidental--the main point is still whatever appeals to her about the control in general--but, like, The Piss Is There. extremely does not want to experience what would happen if she ever even remotely fucked up holding, but presumably enjoys the mortifying ordeal of attempting to politely excuse herself to the restroom and/or stoically holding so she doesn't have to excuse herself in the first place.

paige (pact): she textually, literally, canonically, For Fucking Real, is a lesbian who enters into the world of pactverse magic because she's tempted by a hypothetical dom/sub dynamic with a hot professor who is actually a sphinx. (if any of you who haven't read pact yet are reading this post. Please go read pact.) this extrapolation is less blatant than citrine, but it's by no means unreasonable to assume that there could be some bladder control going on here. she can go to the bathroom when she's a good girl and finishes answering all of isadora's questions. etc. hey do you think pactverse would have really hardcore RACK omorashi where you make a statement that you are NOT going to go until [x amount of time] and it's your karma on the line if you fuck it up. i bet people with executive dysfunction in pact do this type of shit a lot. they're like i am going to start my homework RIGHT NOW!!! and then they Have to. i digress.

Plausible:

peter: we have no information about his love life beyond him flirting with ainsley amidst a Serious Disaster involving Demons, so this is just vibes-based, but he's mean and manipulative and unpleasant in a specific way that could theoretically insinuate that he would enjoy accidentally-on-purpose preventing a girl from getting to the bathroom & watching her squirm. you'll have to trust me on this.

Could Go Either Way:

ellie: my consultant re the pelhams vibes-based ranked her higher than peter, but i don't see it. i could see her having one, but it'd be in a different and grosser direction than peter. i feel like blake's comparison of her to a weak, groveling dog in a pack may be relevant here.

rose (old): i don't strongly see it, but based on what we know about her sex life i wouldn't be surprised if she participated in any heat-of-the-moment watersports.

rose (young): somehow coming in with the exact right bizarre psychosexual complexes to score higher than both blake and pre-meiosis thorburn. i don't think it's likely, but i somehow don't see a reason to mark her down as entirely implausible. her theoretical psychosexual complex about blake is marked by a few facts: she says that he has a "hate-on" for her, she does that weird thing where she hugs him for comfort & lets him give her his jacket (what if the lamb you were leading to slaughter was the man you could've been, and for just a moment, you wanted to take kindness from The Man You Could've Been despite the fact that, because you are not him, you will betray him regardless), when he sacrifices himself to fuse with/bolster her the fusing is described in ostensibly sexual language (being Inside her, the two halves grinding, etc), and she does that whole noticeable twice-over to his almost-naked body. she would absolutely never admit to wanting to fuck her "clone," but were she to envision it, the scenario she would mentally craft would involve blake wanting to fuck her (he never would & she knows this) and, like, eating her out like he wants to kill her or doing some boot frotting with splinters. oh and she would give him the most awkward dry unpleasant handjob on the planet where she's very clearly treating him like a program to experiment with, press button A and find out if it gets result B. I digress. one could also imagine a theoretical rose thorburn piss kink which remains an entirely subconscious psychosexual fixation that she freudian-slips into conversation at least once a la "hate-on," wherein the ideal scenario for her earlier into the book would be wetting herself for reasons entirely against her control despite being so very brave and stalwart and stoic, and imaginary blake is like "wow you were so brave and stoic about that...it's ok everyone has gotten into an awkward spot once or twice in their lives. in fact, [personal recounting of relevant horrible memory]. here have my jacket i will tie it around your waist for you with a lingering amount of physical contact." and later into the book that would switch to just Making The Fuck Up that he'd be really mean and humiliating about it and then getting mad about her imaginary vision of him doing that even though he literally would not do that ever. (the hypothetical of him being mean about it would be a kink thing for her also obviously. Hate On, she says.) okay sorry for talking so much about rose thorburn's psychosexual fixation with blake thorburn i think it's really funny for her to be extremely abnormal about the clonefucking quandary.

fell: i don't actually know him well enough to postulate what genre it would be if he hypothetically had one but despite not Expecting that he has one i wouldn't find it wholly implausible if wildbow got up tomorrow and made an announcement declaring that he does. i think this could be utilized primarily for the humor purposes of, like. blake being like "hey i know we can't really pull over right now BUT could you pull over? i need to take a leak. should i say want to? is it technically lying if i say need but it's not an emergency yet?" and fell being like No. Do Not Say Another Word On This Subject And Also I Hate You. which is because he is desperately and fervently and furiously and with great and genuine anger and rage attempting to Not think about Blake Thorburn, A Conventionally Attractive And Very Annoying Man, having to pee. but blake interprets it as fell being an asshole for no reason and is like ohhh ok fuck you i guess should i just pee on your seat then. you want me to ruin your car seat? [accusatory, fully bluffing, would rather kill himself than piss in fell's car] you're a car guy who doesn't even care about your fancy white upholstery? and fell is like [desperately doing mental math on if blake thorburn, whomst is already covered in fleas and bloods and mysterious liquids, would be petty enough to intentionally piss himself to ruin fell's car] . I will make you walk. like you can see my vision right.

Not Very Plausible:

kathryn: i simply do not see it. she could have something weird going on but it's not a piss kink. the vibes are not being served.

sandra: also a simple matter of the vibes not being there. has probably been exposed to it at one time or another but sees it as undignified and so on

callan: not sensing it

lisa: bathroom shit is surely beyond mundane to her just like everyone elses private bodily workings thoughts feelings etc. i dont even think she has any kinks or interest in sex in general

crystal: this is the only interesting one in this section! she was described to me as "very laid back, but also kind of passive. she's a slob in her private life. sort of goes with the flow to the point that it led her joining a paramilitary force with no oversight." i think being in the dallon-pelham torment nexus sort of intrinsically adds +20 Not Likely points unless youre victoria but i can only assume from this description of her personality that if someone she was fucking was into it she would just roll with it.

neil: was described to me as "neil barely gets anything. he's kind of reckless? he trained victoria a lot. he cheated on his wife with her sister. he liked knocking toddler-aged victoria over as a form of 'training.'" probably not very likely at all but who knows. maybe "declines to fuck sarah and watches panty pissing porn instead" is on his list of secrets next to "cheated on his wife with her sister."

Strong Evidence Against:

carol, paige (worm) (this is canary in case you forgot like i did), cuff, theo, sarah: the club of generic respectable milquetoast cishets who would not do any of that shit and would probably judge someone at least a little for any amount of kink (or in some cases even vanilla sex <3), with paige coming on on the less-judgemental end of the scale and carol coming in at the high end of the judgement scale.

ciara: not generic milquetoast or respectable but the idea of her being into it is just like. silly to me. faerie queens aren't into piss that would be ridiculous. unless they're pactverse faerie queens, then it's a "got bored of it 31 centuries ago" situation, but ciara is not a pactverse faerie.

elle: already struggles with keeping up with hygiene and like...general Existence. surely would not associate any bodily function w/ anything but a task to complete or a mess to clean (<- other task). also presumably might need help going to the bathroom/being reminded that she needs to go sometimes so that certainly would not b anywhere near sexual to her

scion: uh. well. I don't think he knows what any of that shit is to be real with you. Does he even fucking count as blonde?

blake: is textually extremely triggered and distressed and disgusted by being dirty/unclean & losing control over his physical body, to the point where not being able to regularly shave is actively seriously detrimental to his mental health. his tragic character arc of having his identity degraded to the point where "is that still blake" becomes debatable a la ship-of-theseus question is viscerally represented by the fact that bogeyman-blake is just constantly filthy, to the point of turning snow into gray, stained slush when he walks thru it. struggling to deal with basic bodily functions & cleanliness while homeless absolutely severely traumatized him. he would react to someone else wetting themselves with, like, appropriately blake-like levels of kindness & concern, but he would still 100% find the actual piss disgusting. he would try to avoid showing it, but he would find it disgusting. we see him reacting with immense horror to conquest threatening to make him soil himself. if he were ever actually forced into a circumstance where he was genuinely worried about the possibility of pissing himself--let alone if he actually did so--he would have a Category 5 DEFCON 1 Mental Health Moment. all of which is a great reason he should have pissed himself at least once during pact! (<- i just elaborated on this point at such great length i had to force myself to backspace it all and move onto the next bulletpoint)

PMT: exact same trauma as blake. because you know. They were Blake before they got got. unlike blake, still capable of wanting to fuck people, but, like, We Know They're Not Doing Anything With Piss. leatherdyke piss kinkster pmt is a beautiful beautiful vision but its not true.

there you go. thats it. thats the tierlist.

[dallonqs]

hello everyone...I'm sure it's extremely obvious to anyone with Twitter but Dallon's personal account, @/DallonWeekes, has been hacked and he has been attempting to get it back for like six hours at this point. He thankfully still has access to the band account @/idkhow

if that wasn't enough, somebody ALSO uploaded Happiest Nuclear Winter to Spotify. DO NOT STREAM THIS VERSION. Dallon and Breezy have been working on an actual legal version of release that makes sure royalties go to EVERYONE involved in making the album, because he made Violent Things as a solo act under the Brobecks name and HNW was made with the old full band before they broke up.

And, of course, because he knows full well what it's like to have royalties stolen from you. DO. NOT. STREAM. THIS. ALBUM.

And until we get confirmation from the BAND account, do NOT believe that anything coming from his personal account or the Brobecks Spotify is real and from Dallon. As far as we know, he still has access to both his band account on Twitter and to both of his Instagram accounts.

I recommend not interacting with this hacker in any way—do not encourage them, do not let them block you or reply or follow you or do anything that will further fuck up Dallon's account and make it harder for him to sort things out when he is able to get it back.

[temporalarts]

Hello there, I have noticed you’re a well of knowledge when it comes to iDKHOW lore. I’m struggling to find good sources of information and I’d like to learn everything there is to know; do you know how I can do this? Anything I can read/watch? I did a surface-level lore dive a year or two back but I don’t fully remember everything and I’m seeing some stuff around Tumblr I never knew about. Call me Sally Mae because I intend on uncovering everything I can about this band’s lore ;)

hi there! sorry for the late answer, have had tumblr deleted for a while.

important information about idkhow lore first:

it is NOT required to know anything about the lore of idkhow to listen or enjoy idkhow. idkhow's lore is meant to be additional story to the band and is meant for fans to explore only if they are interested. idkhow's songs/lyrics by themselves do not have story meanings. it is hugely important to recognize that idkhow as music and idkhow as a story are separate entities.

idkhow's lore is a metaphorical story for dallon's experience within the music industry and celebrity la/hollywood culture. everything in the lore is symbolic for something in real life (for example, TELLEXX is a metaphor representation of the music industry). i implore anyone getting into the lore of idkhow to treat the lore with gently and respectfully because of that reason.

idkhow's lore has mostly been uncontinued since 2020/2021 since the release of razzmatazz. SRCHPRTY (main character of the lore) has been an abandoned account since june of 2021. this is for a multitude of reasons, including dallon not wanting to have a story line with each album, lack of label support, and lack of time for the lore. because of this, a lot of information about the lore has been lost to time and is no longer available to the public. gloom division (idkhow's most recent album) does have a lore behind it, but has not had a story run like razzmatazz had yet (it could in the future, but gloom division didn't have the time or budget to at this moment). lots of amazing archivists in the community are trying to preserve the lost content over the years (ill link one available one below), but please keep that in mind while looking into the lore.

you may see mentions of ryan seaman (also referred to as subject B) mentioned in the lore and some resources. ryan seaman was the previous drummer of idkhow and is no longer in or involved with idkhow since september 16th, 2023 (due to various reasons i wont go into here, but if you dont know look up the information to why online). idkhow is now and currently a solo project of dallon weekes, but if you see any reference of idkhow being a duo or see him in resources that is why.

that out of the way, here is all the resources I could come up with!

introductory idkhow lore carrd, made by my good friend @fadeyouout! very good start to everything in the lore!

full timeline of all events from current idkhow lore, made by me!

very good place to start with the lore is the srchprty conspiracy video. introductory video to srchprty's research, basic backstory for srchprty, and the main 3 questions in the story.

ALL srchrpty diaries: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6! watch these chronologically as they build off one another.

if you haven't already, look through srchprty's twitter and instagram accounts. look through tweet replies/instagram comments. srchprty regularly interacted with fans while he was active and a lot of story building with TELLEXX comes from those interactions.

physical copy only extras in razzmatazz, lyrics for indoctrination and tomorrow people. razzmatazz physical versions came with two exclusive spoken word tracks, indoctrination and tomorrow people, both directly from TELLEXX.

TELLEXX documents, found in physical copy only extras in razzmatazz lyric book. includes a internal TELLEXX letter and volunteer subject consent forms.

archive of all of idkhow's instagram posts (2017-2022) made by abstracttheart on twitter. most of idkhow posts on instagram has been deleted over the years, so this is a great resource to see those deleted posts. you can most lore related posts from 2020-2021.

the mysterious world of i dont know how but they found me, dork magazine interview with dallon on the razzmatazz lore and its metaphorical meanings to him. VERY important read in my own opinion!

instagram highlights from idkhowindo: part 1, 2, 2.5, 3. their account has since been abandoned, but the archived stories are from the time of srchprty's activity and has a lot of good information in them.

questions i have answered about some idkhow lore topics in detail: what happened to srchprty, what is TELLEXX, and who is subject a. if you have any questions about the lore that you need answers to feel free to shoot me an ask in my inbox! idkhow lore is my special interest and i love answering any questions new fans have.

idkhow.com from 2020-2022 (recommend scrolling through archives of the website from wayback machine from august 2020-december 2020). the idkhow.com website during razzmatazz lore was ran by srchprty and was being recovered during the razzmatazz lore after a previous shutdown by TELLEXX in 1996.

TELLEXX stress evaluation test: may see this referenced around different lore resources, this is the official website for the test. as well as a article from the coder on how the website works to give results which is a very interesting read.

qwerty translator: TELLEXX/srchprty uses a code called QWERTY code throughout the lore, which is a letter substitution code substituting the alphabet for the QWERTY keyboard (ex: A=Q, B=W, etc). very helpful for decoding those codes!

most "niche" idkhow lore information comes from video/text interviews with dallon from 2020/2021! hard to find every single interview he does talk about the lore, but any dive into interviews from 2020 and you can find moments where he talks about razzmatazz lore. some instagram interviews from 2020 have been archived on idkhows youtube for watch.

indie pop, deep lore, and fan theories: how idkhow give there fans more than just music, tone deaf article on lore

i will update whenever i can with whatever i can find, but that is all the available resources for the lore of idkhow currently. if you (or anyone) have any questions about specific things within the lore, feel free to shoot me a question in my inbox and i will try my best to answer! enjoy!

[kaftan]

@shakertwelve said:

the dallons are the waspiest wasps to ever wasp but the complex they gave her is definitely adjacent to catholic guilt, on account of the various major forms of american christianity sharing a lot of the same issues

This absolutely tracks. [Insert weak pun about WASPs and insect powers.] Diversity win: amy was raised with the worst features of TWO major Christian sects?

Ultimately, the real heart of the Amy conflict is that Amy is Catholic and the Dallons are Protestant

OBSESSED with this ask. Yeah I’ll incorporate that into my belief system

[shakertwelve]

new wave timeline talk

for @dw-flagler, responding to this post; under a cut for length

so, the worm wiki's reasoning on vicky and amy's ages (on the timeline page here) begins as follows:

Victoria, in 2011, is in her senior year of high school: she belongs to the age range of 17 to 18.[57] According to Victoria, she was seventeen when she arrived at the Asylum.[58] Victoria, in October 2015, notes the day after the Navigators Incident[59][60] that she is twenty-one.[61]

the problems start with that first line, the citation for which links to this spacebattles wog:

Her grades were good enough she could have skipped a grade, but she decided to stay in High School for mornings only, so she could remain in touch with friends and enjoy her senior year.

high school seniors are 17-18 in the sense that they turn 18 over the course of senior year; the cut-off is usually in september, such that anyone who's 17 by september is going into senior year. pre-timeskip worm takes place in spring of 2011, at the end of the 2010-2011 school year, so everyone but the youngest high school seniors [who have not skipped any grades] has already turned 18. the only way for victoria to still be 17 in the spring of her senior year, without skipping grades, would be for her to have a summer birthday (and it would have to be even later in the summer than when she entered the asylum). the above quote also confirms that she chose not to skip any years of school, even though her grades were good enough that she could've, so there's no way for her to be 17 years old and a graduating senior at the same time.

the other data points cited in that paragraph (victoria was 17 in june of 2011 when she entered the asylum, and she's 21 in october of 2015 during ward) cohere with each other and with other mentions of victoria's age in worm and worm wog, where she's consistently described as 17 pre-timeskip. knowing that she hasn't had her 22nd birthday yet in october of 2015 places the lower bound on her birthday in late october 1993, with the latest she could've been born, based purely on this information, being may of 1994.

given all that, what makes the most sense to me is to assume that victoria being a senior is a mistake; she's 17 years old and should be wrapping up her junior year in high school during pre-timeskip worm.

the next paragraph is about amy's age, and reads as follows:

According to Marquis, Amy was six before his incarceration in February 2000.[62][63] On June 4, 2011,[64] Marquis states that Amy is currently seventeen:[65] this is correct if she is six in February 2000 as Amy would be born before March 1994. Both Carol Dallon and Sarah Pelham believed Amy was Victoria's age (6) before Amy's adoption.[63][66] According to Amy, she was six when she was adopted and seventeen before she left Carol and Mark Dallon and went to the Birdcage.[67]

i consider marquis the most reliable source we have on amy's age, since he was in direct contact with amy's mother, who would definitely know, and the information he gives consistently places amy's birthday in the winter of 1993-1994. i've seen some people theorize that amy could be up to a year or two younger than vicky and the dallons just put them in the same school year out of convenience, but the only evidence for this is that carol and sarah guessed that amy was probably a bit younger than vicky just from looking at her, which doesn't mean much when you take into account that kids grow at different rates, amy is known to be smaller than vicky as an adult as well, and carol's description of young amy in her interlude isn't entirely objective in other ways, either. i've also seen the theory that amy is older than vicky and just doesn't know it, but i don't think that's too likely given this exchange from interlude 10.5:

Marquis frowned. “My daughter, she would be… what year is it? 2010?” “2011,” Lung replied. “She would be seventeen.”

if amy's birthday were in october or earlier, it would've made more sense for him to ask for the month as well; stating amy's age with confidence based purely on the year only works if she's born very close to the change of the year, and so is the same age for roughly all of the calendar year. so, my favored interpretation is that amy is younger than vicky, but not by very much.

the wiki continues:

In June 2011, Amy claims to Taylor that she is sixteen now; however, she presumably brings it up in the context of getting a non-government job and avoiding rules and regulations that apply to exploiting minors with powers.[68] Eric Pelham in 2011 is fifteen before his death:[48] Amy cannot have turned sixteen in 2011 as Eric is three years younger than Amy.[69]

as noted, this doesn't line up with anything else and is either amy lying or wildbow making a math error. eric being 15 and three years younger than the 17 year old dallons looks initially like a contradiction, but can be chalked up to him having just had his birthday and being between 2.5 and 3 years younger than them, such that he's 3 years younger for most of the year.

after this there's another section about school, in which i've highlighted the part i take issue with:

A short time after Crystal Pelham's trigger event, Victoria had to pick a class in the arts (i.e., art, music, or drama) for her next high school semester,[72] along with a specialized science class (i.e., chemistry, biology, or physics) for the first time.[73] Victoria is a freshman and not a sophomore because she would otherwise take a specialized science class in the fall.[74] As Amy also got these instructions and might be in the same art class as Victoria next semester, Amy must be in the same school and birth year as Victoria.[73][72] On the same day, Victoria also notes that Amy and herself are three years older than Eric Pelham.[69]

that citation links to this quote, from worm 5.4:

In biology, Madison used every excuse she could to use the pencil sharpener or talk to the teacher, and each time she passed my desk, she pushed everything I had on my desk to the floor. [...] “That’s September eighth,” I pointed out, “My first day back at school, last semester. September ninth-” “Excuse me, sorry. How many entries do you have?” “One for pretty much every school day starting last semester. Sorry, I only decided to keep track last summer.

the problem with this, of course, is that taylor goes to winslow high, while the dallons are at arcadia, so there's no reason to assume their school curricula work the same way; public schools are required to follow the same general educational guidelines, but i don't think you can use what year winslow students start taking biology to prove that arcadia students also take biology the same year. without accepting this premise, the entire paragraph of reasoning above doesn't matter except for the part about vicky and amy being three years older than eric, which we already knew.

circling back around to the subject of fleur, the wiki says:

According to Amy, Victoria and herself are not in middle school after Fleur died.[70] Her death happened in the latter half of 2007.[*] Victoria, in 2007, is not in elementary school as she graduated from middle school in June 2007.[57] Thus, Amy must have graduated middle school on or before June 2007, as she would otherwise be drastically younger than Victoria to not be in middle school.[70][63] Indeed, Victoria believes she and Amy got to high school at the same time.[71]

if we accept that fleur's death was in late 2007, the claim that amy and vicky weren't even in middle school yet when it happened doesn't make sense, since they would've been eight graders at the time. so our two options are that fleur died earlier than 2007, or it should say that they weren't in high school yet, not middle school.

my first reaction was to take the mention of the year more seriously than the mention of the grade, since, at this point, i have very little faith in the dallon kids' grade levels meaning anything. but as you noted in your post:

there's only one thing placing the boston games, and fleur's subsequent death, in 2007, which is ashley's narration in Eclipse X.8. But everything else points to it being 2 years earlier, in 2005. Actually, I'd say it would be even earlier, maybe 2003, 2002, because we know that new wave was struggling for "most of [Victoria's] childhood," and they were only struggling after Fleur's death.

&

even if amy (wildbow) misspoke and said middle school instead of high school, this still leaves a problem, because it occupies a lesser portion of Victoria and Amy's childhoods. I mean, if it is 2007, then that means Fleur died only a year before Victoria's trigger event, which seems crazy late to me.

and yeah, that actually does track better with the overall impression we're given of new wave's trajectory during vicky's childhood. if we assume this happened in 2005 rather than 2007, then it does bear out that amy and vicky "weren't even in middle school yet", if you assume that their school district only counted 7th and 8th grade as middle school (some schools include 6th grade as well, or even 5th and 6th grade, but a two-year middle school is totally normal).

this leaves the issue that ashley states she's 16 during the boston games, so we'd be making her two years older overall, meaning she'd be 26 in ward rather than 24, which seems a little out of keeping with breakthrough's overall teen-through-early-20s age group and with the dynamic she has with victoria, which feels like they're supposed to be pretty close to the same age. the other option is to keep ashley's birthday in 1991 and assume she just thinks she's 16 when she's actually 14 during the boston games, which shifts her character in a different way, playing up her tendency to exaggerate her own maturity in her own mind.

or we could say that the cape ashley fought was an unrelated heroine who just happened to also be using a fleur-de-lis symbol. or, like, a stranger-trump imitating fleur, or something. a wizard did it.

[watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees]

He dreams of revenge pt. 1

Dallon

this is going to be a two chapter story, inspired by this dream I had

word count: 2.7K

masterlist

TW: sibling death mention, suicide mention, referenced captivity and torture, suggestive themes (nothing 18+/nsfw happens, but there's a vibe), choking, fade-to-black ending, gun mention (hopefully i got all of it? lmk if i missed something)

I'm going to kill Wesley Shaw tonight.

I tried to accept it as a fact, doubting it would only bring about a load of unnecessary anxiety, and I didn't need anything that could potentially poison the success of this mission.

We had been planning the hit for months now, everything had to be perfect. Every step had been thought through well, we had plan Bs and Cs for each and every one of them. By the end of the night that monster would be dead.

Before we entered the convention centre, Bailey and I went over our cover stories and aliases, quick, as if we were reciting a a well-learned poem.

The only good thing, I could honestly say I liked about her, was that she spoke fast. Sure, she was a great cop, with a steady aim, and she was awfully insightful, she just never shut up, and I could never get over that.

I fought the assignment hard, when the project started, I'd have been willing to work with anyone, but her. If there was a chance for a slip of a tongue compromising the mission, I would want to prevent it, even if it ruined my reputation as a good partner to be assigned with.

Fuck Bailey. I planned on doing this right, thankfully our cover stories let us spend the first half of the evening separately. It was a safety measure we took, we pretend not to know each other, so if anything goes south, we don't drag each other down. I was entirely convinced this was put in the plan for my safety, I would never let myself get in trouble like that.

She got out of the car a block away from where I did. I was to arrive from another direction, at a different time.

"You're gonna do great, Dallon!" I heard the captain's voice throught the earpiece, I would discard immediately upon arrival. We didn't wish for luck on high stakes missions like this one.

"I know" I replied with full conviction. I was going to do great and Shaw would die and it was going to be perfect.

I got out of the car just in time to spot Bailey saunter inside, flashing her wristband to the security guard. I heard her laughter from where I stood, and felt an uneasy shiver run down my spine at the thought of having to "accidentally" run into her inside and rejoin forces for the takedown.

Phase one, I go inside and mingle. I already hated it, every ounce of willingness to talk had evaporated from me, as Bailey entered the building before I did. I still had a list of conversation starters and a hell of a great ability to lie my ass off going for me. I would not enjoy a second spent in this phase, but I'd do well enough.

It was too bright inside. My skin crawled with how many bodies pressed to my side as I tried to push through the crowd. I had to keep my eyes open and actually look, which took tremendous effort to keep up against the onslaught of sensations.

My heart jumped every time I saw a feature that slightly resembled the one haunting me in my nightmares. Every glimpse of light reflected from a pair of glasses, every face with black stubble on set me off to no end.

Phase two started, when I finally spotted him. He stood off to the side, surrounded by a close circle of people with a glass of champagne in hand, a horrendously smug smile on his face. The latter might have been my imagination, he could only have been smug if he considered himself the winner of the fight already, and he didn't even know about the operation. At the end of the night I planned to make that expression, while he bleeds out on the ground and I claim self-defense.

It started off easy, I positioned myself in the crowd so that I could keep an eye on Wesley at all times. This made it significantly harder to find my partner, who should also be looking for me after she found the target. He was hard to miss and however annoying Bailey was, she was a lot more comfortable getting lost in a crowd and had a decent amount of precision to spot him, maybe even faster than I did.

It wasn't time to get closer just yet, I needed to find Bailey, and start a conversation innocuously. For that to happen I needed to actually talk to people.

I joined a larger group, where a few others seemed to be just as much of an outsider as I was, so it isn't too weird that I joined. I laughed when the others did, tried to get a word in edgewise here and there, but I wasn't paying much attention.

I was scanning the crowd for my partner's outrageous golden dress and bright ginger hair. Against all odds, she was a lot harder to spot than Wesley Shaw, in his simple black suit. We locked eyes, it seemed she had found him as well. We had entered phase two.

We had to find our way to him. Not do dwell on the details, Bailey joined my group, then we went for drinks and pretended to introduce ourselves. We weren't missed after we left and let the crowd carry us to Wesley.

He wasn't surrounded as exclusively as I imagined, he was just an attendee like we were. It made our job all the more seamless.

When we joined the conversation he was a part of, we entered phase three. Get him alone and find something to arrest him for. We had a list of everything Wesley had ever done, incriminating himself, but it would be much easier, if he gave us a reason. I wasn't one for planting evidence and such things, that was usually below me. Not this time. Wesley Shaw was going down one way or another.

His voice was deep, I could feel it rumble in my stomach and if I didn't know who he was, I would have even enjoyed it. Maybe... It was hard to say. All I could think about was Marci and the way she looked at me when we found her, and that I'm so close to making the fucker pay for it. I hated waiting.

"Do I know you from somewhere?" Wesley aimed the question at me, looking me up and down. I shivered.

"No, I don't think so" I smiled politely, and reached a hand out for him to shake. "Max Brown" It's Dallon Burke, and I'm going to kill you.

"Wesley Shaw. I swear I feel like we've met before" Do you even remember Marci? Here's a hint you, kidnapped her and tortured her for almost a year.

"I guess, I have one of those faces" She was my twin. We looked alike before you destroyed her.

"Yeah, probably" She killed herself. Did you even know that?

I had no way of keeping time as it passed by. People came and went, someone brought drinks at one point. I never left Wesley's side. The conversation was superficial, we chatted away about events, fundraisers and the dresscode, and I spoke to the best of my knowledge of what I thought Max Brown would say.

He didn't like strict black and white attires, much like the one Wesley wore. He preferred some frill and colour, as demonstrated by my dark blue, satin button-up.

I forcibly smiled as much as I could. I was used to doing it all the time, especially throughout the preparation process for this operation, because I didn't want to let everyone know how much I despised having to work with Bailey. I had reached my limit that evening and my jaw started to hurt.

I flirted with her and she with Wesley. We agreed on this beforehand, because there was no way in hell I would be able to keep up the facade for him, at least with her, I could practice beforehand.

She was smart to leave for a little while, so we didn't raise suspicion, as far as everyone else was aware, we we're strangers to each other as much as we were to them. After she got back, stumbling and slurring her words a little, acting drunk - at least I prayed it was an act, a rather prejudiced thought on my part - we set phase four into motion.

"Would you two care to join me for another drink?" the monster asked. Bailey stood close to him, leaning slightly on his shoulder, giggling like it was the best night of her life. Even though I knew it was fake, the sight left a sour taste in my mouth. "Maybe somewhere more private?"

"This place is crammed with people, do you know of some VIP area we hadn't been invited to?" I meant for the question to sound light, I think it came out a little awkward. He didn't seem to mind. Arrogant prick.

"I have a suite booked in the hotel next door" he replied smoothly. Bailey inched even closer to him, batting her eyelashes with not-so-secret intent.

"A suite? Are you rich or something?" She played dumb well. Her voice, usually sharp, even grating at times, was not soft and feminine. I wished she spoke more like that.

Wesley Shaw laughed and pulled her close by the waist. His hand didn't wander lower than it was appropriate.

"And you, Max?" He raised an eyebrow, as he inquired, I found it sort of comical as the frame of his glasses obstructed the view of the lower one. The sight of this monster of a man with only half a brow gave me enough material to laugh and smile in his direction.

"I'd love to" I made my voice deeper on purpose, so it sounded like I was actually into the idea.

We made our way back to the gates and walked over to the hotel. We locked arms with Bailey from both sides to keep her upright. I was starting to doubt whether she was actually sober.

Wesley Shaw's luxury suite was on the fifth floor. He invited us to sit in the living room, and opened up a bottle of wine from a wine cooler.

I wondered if he had brought that with himself for this occasion, or it was the courtesy of the hotel staff.

"Will you excuse me for a moment?" Wesley stood up abruptly, just after filling our glasses and making himself comfortable. "I have to make a phone call, it can't wait" He apologized again. I nodded, sure, it was fine, I was understanding. He walked into the bedroom and pulled the sliding door panel shut.

As soon as he was out of our line of sight Bailey straightened up and poured out half of what her glass contained on a plant next to the couch.

We heard as he picked up the phone, he paced the room. We couldn't hear much. Bailey immediately relaxed back against the cushions, when we heard him walk closer.

"This is going to take a while" Wesley came back to the living room, covering the microphone with one hand, he was half whispering. "You could make yourselves comfortable in the bedroom until then, my laptop is out here"

"Are you sure?" I asked with fake concern. Max Brown wouldn't want to be a rude guest. "We can leave and catch up later"

"I'm sure" He smiled warmly. It burnt my face. "Ten minutes at maximum, I'll try to make it in five, though" Wesley winked at me. I wanted to strangle him, but instead, I grabbed Bailey by the arm, maybe a bit stronger than it was necessary and pulled her up to come with me to the bedroom.

I pulled the door in, leaving it open an inch, so we could hear better.

Bailey was tense again, no sign of the alcohol induced lazy relaxed version of her. She sat on the edge of the bed, listening, still as a statue.

I concentrated as well. And when I finally picked up the thread of the conversation, I looked at Bailey in disbelief.

It couldn't have been this easy. He was dictating account numbers into the phone, with names and places. Wesley Shaw started phase five by himself.

The microphones sewn into our clothes were sensitive enough to pick all the sound up. We needed to get at least one of the devices out of here, so it can be traced immediately. Bailey was the one delivering it, I was tasked with keeping him there, using force if necessary, until we get the okay to arrest him.

Bailey put the drunken act back on. She stood up, swaying a little on her feet and walked out of the room. She whispered incoherently, from too far away and Wesley waved her off, apparently way too lost in his laptop screen.

She was out. I undid the top two buttons of my shirt and sat on the edge of the bed. I thought about how I should have drunk that glass of wine at least. Not like I needed the courage, I felt determined now more than ever. All I had to do was pull my gun, that had been safely tugged into it's strap on my ankle under my wide-legged dress pants...

I didn't feel the weight of it as I lifted my leg up. I tried the other, since I'm bad with directions, because maybe I just forgot.

There was no gun. I desperately tried to find the last moment I remembered having it. In the surveillance van I checked before I headed inside and then nothing.

Wesley had stopped talking, I realised a second too late. He was standing in the doorway, with a questioning look on his face. I looked terribly awkward, patting the side of my ankles, looking for my gun. I hoped he was drunk enough not to notice, though I didn't remember him having a single sip of any glass of beverage he had in his hands through the night.

I don't know why or how, but that set me off, and I knew that he knew. Still I tried to save the situation. If ot came to it, I would kill him with my bare hands.

"Ba- Ashley f-felt sick, she said she'd, she'd be back later" I gulped. I fucked up, I was panicking and he knew "I- I told her not to come back, if, if she gets suck" I stammered. He merely hummed and crossed the space between us with three long strides. I was sitting on the bed, he looked tall.

I really thought I was a good liar. I had been a flawless one all night, why do I have to fuck it up the single most important minute?

"Maybe it's better like that, I'd hate to have to get rid of her, if she witnessed what's happening here" Wesley lifted my chin with a finger so I had to look him in the eye. I was frozen under his gaze. At least he didn't figure Bailey's cover out.

"You look so much like her, Dallon" he leaned down. He turned my face around to inspect it from every angle.

"I didn't think you would, but it's like she's right here. I don't know why you expected this little plan of yours to work"

"I'm going to kill you" I finally found my voice again. I pictured Marci's face, that was a carbon copy of my own, beat up, bruised and pale as a ghost. I looked healthy, no bruises or scars, maybe a slight tan I got from visiting our mother back home.

I was nothing like Marci.

"Sure, you will" Wesley laughed and his hand slid down from my chin to wrap around my throat.

"If only you had your gun" he whispered in my ear, hot and sticky, and he pushed me down on my back.

My hands flew to claw at the grip on my throat, but it was futile. I felt dark spots starting to dance around the edges of my vision, and they grew and grew until it all faded to black.

[f1rewalk3r]

funniest new wormblr character is the mf who namesearches amy just to reply “i hate amy dallon” under every post mentioning her

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

GET SPOTTED IN THE WILD🫵

But seriously, was anyone gonna tell me, or was I supposed to find out you're a green day fan from a months old comment in the replies of a post reblogged from one of my fav youtubers?

HELLO????? bestie i bought 21st century breakdown on cd last week!!! im not as big into them as some people but fuck yeah im a green day fan. idk how i feel still abt saviors though as an album (i do love bobby sox but hmmm) but i do fw their discography up to revolution radio.

i mean i had a big emo phase 😭. listened to green day, p!atd (unfortunately but my opinion is the dallon weeks era of panic! is their peak. vices genuinely held up.), fob, and mcr, and tøp. and all time low and blink-182, and paramore (RIOT! MY BELOVED). like i was all about a bunch of bands. big into pop-punk. waterparks is my favorite band (not intellectual property. the hyperpop era isn't it but double dare!!!!!)

neck deep (though im sure you arent familiar with either?) has been on my rotation?? dont listen to their 2020 album. it sucks. BUT THEIR LATEST??? the self titled album is great. been debating on going to their concert actually. the majority of their discography i love. pup too. im like all over the place?? but hell yeah im a green day fan. i got like 2 band tshirts of them. a few of their cds but i wanna get more of their albums physicallyyyy.

[asmileforyourscrapbooks]

HELP IM INDECISIVE

I want to write a fic butttttt.... I'm stuck between Ryllon (ryan ross x dallon weekes), or trying my hand at writing Y/N for the first time!!

[castallurspells]

Ok I cannot believe I’m about to post this because I dislike Brendon Urie just as much as the next person but here we go: Let’s not make up reasons to hate Brendon because it’s pointless and dumb.

I know we don’t like him. And there are valid reasons for not liking him. But making up things/assuming things and presenting them as fact just to slander him is not the way to go because it detracts from why you ACTUALLY should not support him.

I’ve seen people asking “What happened with Panic! at the Disco??? Why do we hate Brendon Urie???” and like a good chunk of the replies are “He sexually harassed several fans.” Which is untrue, as many (if not all) of the allegations against him are impossible to have happened in the first place. He has been, however, an enabler for all kinds of mistreatment of band members (Dallon + his family) and Zack Hall, who HAS sexually harassed fans. 

I’ve also seen claims being thrown around that Spencer/Jon/Ryan hate him because he ‘stole their music. They do not. They have stated multiple times, whether outright or not, that bygones are bygones and that they don’t resent him for continuing the band.* (In fact, Spencer works for FBR and Jon is openly nostalgic about his time in Panic!). HOWEVER, it is a valid opinion that Brendon should not have profited off of the Panic! name for as long as he did. (which I agree with) It’s just not good to throw around claims that the other former members also think so just because you hate Brendon, because they are still. People. *I know that one interview exists. Ryan and Jon have both later changed their opinions. My point overall is to not speculate too much on their relationship/thoughts on Brendon (this goes for Dallon as well) because it’s a little bit weird and invasive to twist their words to fit the ‘Brendon is an undeniably horrible person and everyone hates him’ narrative

TL;DR: Brendon is a bad person but let’s stop throwing around unsubstantiated claims about him and other people who were close to him.

[koral-has-entered-the-void]

Interlude (TW: death)

when I –

not if,

if got lost

with my

baby teeth and

nintendo ds games

at my

old home–

die.

when I die,

bury me in :

kids size 12 Comfycush Slip-Skool Vans, clear checkerboard with neon green laces and socks with black cats and pumpkins with hats.

girls 13/14 Target x Gwen Stefani Harajuku Mini Plaid Dress.

two cracked jade bracelets on my left wrist, once bright marbling now cloudy over a drop size ganglion cyst.

and two italian charm bracelets on the right; one with my name, and the other with gold embossed stars.

honors presents from my dad, two tiffany necklaces sandwiched between a tarnished, bootleg Clandestine Industries Bartskull necklace from Ebay.

my ma’s black Juicy heart earrings she gave me for my 6th grade formal before she yelled at me for losing them down the drain the morning after.

Nyx Epic Ink Eyeliner in black and their Vivid Matte Liquid Eyeliner in white, make sure they create a Nike swoosh cat wing and include two dots above.

Undone Beauty Lip to Cheek Palette in Dahlia for blush and Carmex for lips.

two fanned out buns, with a slightly to the right middle part and curtain bangs,

grown out roots and Good Dye Young, Toxicity mixed with Biz- 3:1 ratio.

and bury me with :

              my

Winnie the Pooh Baby Blanket.                       

Ma’s handmade stuffie, “Kangabear.”

Ma’s Nokia XpressMusic Sidekick.

Dad’s special occasion Kangol Baseball hat in plaid.

Dad’s Carhartt Navy Blue Hoodie.

Safire’s sparkly pink CHI straightener from 2013.

Scooby’s chain collar.

Loma’s Bowser collar.

Loma.

Nana’s Persian rug from the big house.

Papa’s hand-painted “Bear” 3XL T-shirt.

Princess and the Pauper singing Erica Barbie Doll.

i-Pod shuffle with the entirety of our shared i-Tunes library.

Skullcandy black gummy headphones.

a few

cans of coke.

box cutters.

miscellaneous music buttons; Green Day, Nirvana, MCR.

Littlest Pet Shop Figures.

heart-shaped rocks.

butterfly clips.

ticket stubs from October and November of 2022.

poems.

              and

daisies from Alyssia.

journals from Renee.

Silly Bandz from Tyler.

printed Twitter replies of Gerard Way and Dallon Weekes.

Yeezy slides from Jake.

trinkets and trolls from Lily.

and finally, don’t forget

a deluxe copy of Infinity on High.

so when I –

not if,

when I die                         

you can

remember my

materials        

or incinerate everything

and press me into Track 11 of the vinyl

I mentioned above.

[lakesbian]

and now for our Checking In With The Dallon Sisters poasting

Panacea shook her head, “Tattletale found a way around my sister’s invincibility. Glory Girl was bitten pretty badly, which is why I didn’t come sooner. I think it hits you harder, psychologically, when you’re pretty much invincible but you get hurt anyways. But we’re okay now. She’s healed but sulking. I- I’m alright. Bump on my head, but I’m okay.”

victoria is demonstrably having a bad time with the previously noted psychological pain of being forcibly reminded that, no matter how hard she tries, she will never be the spotless, invincible, perfect hero she wants to be. the bug bites suck obviously but the "sulking" After being healed is an indicator of where it really hurt--not just physically.

(amy's power reminds me of. do you guys know that one tumblr post about the concept of exploring the horror potential inherent to D&D-esque fantasy healers? like, the horror inherent to being perfectly, magically healed from horrifying injury a hundred times over, and being expected to just get up and keep fighting afterwards, without any regards to how your mental health is doing. that's exactly how amy's power functions: you're made physically better than ever, and expected to get back up and keep being a hero, but you still have the memory of the pain and the lingering psychological aftereffects. but, like, you're fine now, so you just need to get over it and go back to throwing yourself in the line of fire, okay?)

amy is also right off the bat clearly not doing so hot--she's acting very shy and withdrawn and unsure compared to both of her prior appearances. obviously that is due to the horror of some random villain going "btw, remember that you're ontologically an invader into the family you are trying to belong in!" but i think it's probably compounded by the fact that amy is so used to being treated either 1. like she's intrinsically awful/unwanted or 2. like she's only valuable/desirable as a resource by Everyone But Victoria that walking into a room of heroes w/o victoria by her side is always liable to make her insecure and withdrawn.

oh, and the burnout. obviously the severe fucking burnout.

“No, I hated that he would have a normal life, because I’d given up mine.  I was scared that I might intentionally make a mistake.  That I might let myself fuck up the procedure with this kid.  I could have killed him or ruined his life, but it would have eased the pressure.  Lowered expectations, you know?  Maybe it would have even lowered my own expectations for myself.  I… I was just so tired.  So exhausted.  I actually considered, for the briefest moment, abandoning a child to suffer or die.” “That sounds like more than just exhaustion,” Gallant replied, quietly. “Is this how it starts?  Is this the point I start becoming like my father, whoever he was?”

the "every second i rest, someone dies" conundrum would be nightmarish for her even if she had the healthiest social support net on the planet, but her circumstances make it infinitely worse. she's treated by everyone in her "family" but victoria like an invader, and even victoria has unintentionally stressed the importance of using her healing power in the way that the family wants (i.e. to cover up victoria's police brutality) in order to Be A Good Family Member. amy has internalized that being a good dallon is the same as being a good hero, and failing at being a dallon is the same as being overcome by her ontologically criminal roots. so she works herself to the bone, and when she inevitably starts to falter, she views it as an indicator of something intrinsically wrong with her rather than as a sign that her family + society's expectations for her are harmful and unfair.

and dean's advice for her only reinforces this further:

Gallant let out a slow breath, “I could say no, that you’re never going to be like your father. But I’d be lying. Any of us, all of us, we run the risk of finding our own way down that path. I can see the strain you’re experiencing, the stress. I’ve seen people snap because of less. So yeah. It’s possible.”

he suggests that she try to take a break, but only in the service of "so you can heal more people in the long run." he validates the idea that she could go "down that path," as if becoming a villain--becoming A Bad Person--is a risk all heroes have to fight against on an individual level, as opposed to criminality being a result of circumstance and not even inherently immoral. and of course dean thinks that way--he's a millionaire child soldier, his entire life is predicated on individualist thought with ignorance to the ways in which systematic factors impact people. acknowledging that amy is being horrifically mistreated would mean not only acknowledging the flaws in the PRT system, but acknowledging what might lead people to stray from it, and he simply can't do that. it goes counter to every idea that his life is built on.

he never even tells anyone that amy thought about letting a child die, or if he did, it didn't go anywhere. she was desperate for help all along, increasingly ready to explode, and everyone just ignored it. because as she says:

"My sister’s all I’ve got. The only person with no expectations, who knows me as a person. Carol never really wanted me.  Mark is clinically depressed, so as nice as he is, he’s too focused on himself to really be a dad. My aunt and uncle are sweet, but they’ve got their own problems. So it’s just me and Victoria. Has been almost from the beginning."

this is also where we see another more blatant sign of her crush on victoria--it's very ambiguous as to whether dean is interpreting amy's feelings towards him as meaning "wants to date me" or "jealous of me for dating victoria" but i think it's probably the former because there's no way he would keep his mouth shut if it was the latter, lmao. really what this scene is doing is introducing all of the stressors amy is experiencing that, because they're going unaddressed, because everyone else is refusing to address them and she has internalized that's how it should be, are going to boil over horrifically later on. that burnout and fear of accidentally-on-purpose making a mistake will lead to truly being unable to heal victoria later on. that sense of obligation, that if she can't keep healing she's turning into her father, will contribute to her being unable to just walk away from victoria instead of trying to heal her. her crush on victoria--the ultimate example of how her should-be family has ostracized her--will boil over in the impulsive brain alteration & the sexual nature of the wretch's design.

and all of this would've been avoidable if not for, as mentioned in the prior post abt this interlude, the dallons' and the PRT's enforcement of wallpapering over the kid heroes' pain to Keep Up The Show.