#customer service shenanigans

[psychicpinenut]

working customer service in relation to optics and glasses makes me have less and less sympathy for glass wearers like omg get lasik or something instead of whining about the colour of your glasses???

[jamboreeartsupplies]

she's taking calls ☎️

dial 666-444-1313 on any antique phone and wait 13 business years she may get back to you 🤡👻

[quietwingsinthesky]

very funny to me that even is very Not immortal. at best, their current age is fucky-wucky because getting stuck in a dimensional bubble and then unstuck via Shenanigans will do that to you. they don’t know how old they are but it’s probably older than they look, but they do know they aren’t going to live as long as either time lord in their life. and what im saying is that if there are Century Long Plots happening, even has to be dropped off at the end to wait like someone stuck at the bus stop to the apocalypse.

[nerdie-faerie]

Having a 9am class and an 8 hour shift the same day I have an assignment due so I haven't slept, is a recipe for disaster. Fingers crossed I don't bodily attack a customer 🤞

[pinkhairandpokemon]

I’m never going to Levincia again I stepped out onto the streets for five seconds and Iono dragged me into one of her streams

If you saw me on Iono Zone no you DIDN’T

-Blake

[boatboysrowout]

i’m in constant search of silly etho fics. surely someone else has written him as the annoying gremlin he is. surely <— on page 58 of the etho tag on ao3

[bumblebytes]

just had a customer whose teeth were all sharpened how are y'all

[zztibranul]

i work at a drive thru and i fucking LOVE to compliment every person who comes through my line!!! i love spreading kindness to strangers!!!! there is something so personally rewarding to my soul when i tell an old lady at the drive thru that i love her nails!!! we as a society need to give more harmless genuine compliments!!!

[analogboii]

pov you have me working open (6am) to close (930pm) two days in row and I'm filling out the paperwork

[beesonhoneytoast]

“a dubious little creature” -my coworker when i showed him this thing

[meatiershowers]

just realised my bro and I r the only ones on the cursed side of my family to go to a public school like. Ever. How do I not make a mess throwing up whilst laughing

[psychicpinenut]

starting to think humans can't be conditioned or the people i deal with are just fucking idiots

[malachite-iiarie]

Things I think should be radio rules at my store that apparently aren’t cause everyone keeps doing them

No whispering over the radio, it’s not quirky, it’s just annoying

If someone doesn’t answer after the 3rd call, don’t keep trying, call someone else

Don’t purposely throw your radio at a keyboard

Fighting over the radio isn’t a good way to handle a coworker argument, the whole store can hear you

Don’t hand someone a radio with the volume turned all the way up and not tell them it’s all the way up

Don’t put your radio in a place where it might accidentally turn on…like the bathroom…never again please

Don’t leave your radio somewhere then ask for a new one when you can’t find the old one

Learn the store emergency codes for the love of god

If you just heard 3 people call one guy in the past minute, he’s probably still busy with them, call someone else to help you with your problem

If the big boss is in make sure to answer or he will call out you and your entire department one by one (still sorry for that grocery, I just needed to know the price of bagels)

Don’t take your radio to a different state, didn’t think that one needed to be said since we are nowhere near the state boarder, but apparently it does

[sarcastic-elf]

Call Center shenanigans

Caller: Hey, I need to talk to someone about this.

Me: Let me get you to customer service

Caller: but they just transferred me to you, I was just over there.

Me: I'm sorry that happened, but let me get you to customer service so they can help you.

Caller: Why can't you help me?

Me: I don't have access to the tools I need to help you. One moment please.

[tinystepsforward]

autocrattic (more matt shenanigans, not tumblr this time)

I am almost definitely not the right person for this writeup, but I'm closer than most people on here, so here goes! This is all open-source tech drama, and I take my time laying out the context, but the short version is: Matt tried to extort another company, who immediately posted receipts, and now he's refusing to log off again. The long version is... long.

If you don't need software context, scroll down/find the "ok tony that's enough. tell me what's actually happening" heading, or just go read the pink sections. Or look at this PDF.

the background

So. Matt's original Good Idea was starting WordPress with fellow developer Mike Little in 2003, which is free and open-source software (FOSS) that was originally just for blogging, but now powers lots of websites that do other things. In particular, Automattic acquired WooCommerce a long time ago, which is free online store software you can run on WordPress.

FOSS is... interesting. It's a world that ultimately is powered by people who believe deeply that information and resources should be free, but often have massive blind spots (for example, Wikipedia's consistently had issues with bias, since no amount of "anyone can edit" will overcome systemic bias in terms of who has time to edit or is not going to be driven away by the existing contributor culture). As with anything else that people spend thousands of hours doing online, there's drama. As with anything else that's technically free but can be monetized, there are:

Heaps of companies and solo developers who profit off WordPress themes, plugins, hosting, and other services;

Conflicts between volunteer contributors and for-profit contributors;

Annoying founders who get way too much credit for everything the project has become.

the WordPress ecosystem

A project as heavily used as WordPress (some double-digit percentage of the Internet uses WP. I refuse to believe it's the 43% that Matt claims it is, but it's a pretty large chunk) can't survive just on the spare hours of volunteers, especially in an increasingly monetised world where its users demand functional software, are less and less tech or FOSS literate, and its contributors have no fucking time to build things for that userbase.

Matt runs Automattic, which is a privately-traded, for-profit company. The free software is run by the WordPress Foundation, which is technically completely separate (wordpress.org). The main products Automattic offers are WordPress-related: WordPress.com, a host which was designed to be beginner-friendly; Jetpack, a suite of plugins which extend WordPress in a whole bunch of ways that may or may not make sense as one big product; WooCommerce, which I've already mentioned. There's also WordPress VIP, which is the fancy bespoke five-digit-plus option for enterprise customers. And there's Tumblr, if Matt ever succeeds in putting it on WordPress. (Every Tumblr or WordPress dev I know thinks that's fucking ridiculous and impossible. Automattic's hiring for it anyway.)

Automattic devotes a chunk of its employees toward developing Core, which is what people in the WordPress space call WordPress.org, the free software. This is part of an initiative called Five for the Future — 5% of your company's profits off WordPress should go back into making the project better. Many other companies don't do this.

There are lots of other companies in the space. GoDaddy, for example, barely gives back in any way (and also sucks). WP Engine is the company this drama is about. They don't really contribute to Core. They offer relatively expensive WordPress hosting, as well as providing a series of other WordPress-related products like LocalWP (local site development software), Advanced Custom Fields (the easiest way to set up advanced taxonomies and other fields when making new types of posts. If you don't know what this means don't worry about it), etc.

Anyway. Lots of strong personalities. Lots of for-profit companies. Lots of them getting invested in, or bought by, private equity firms.

Matt being Matt, tech being tech

As was said repeatedly when Matt was flipping out about Tumblr, all of the stuff happening at Automattic is pretty normal tech company behaviour. Shit gets worse. People get less for their money. WordPress.com used to be a really good place for people starting out with a website who didn't need "real" WordPress — for $48 a year on the Personal plan, you had really limited features (no plugins or other customisable extensions), but you had a simple website with good SEO that was pretty secure, relatively easy to use, and 24-hour access to Happiness Engineers (HEs for short. Bad job title. This was my job) who could walk you through everything no matter how bad at tech you were. Then Personal plan users got moved from chat to emails only. Emails started being responded to by contractors who didn't know as much as HEs did and certainly didn't get paid half as well. Then came AI, and the mandate for HEs to try to upsell everyone things they didn't necessarily need. (This is the point at which I quit.)

But as was said then as well, most tech CEOs don't publicly get into this kind of shitfight with their users. They're horrid tyrants, but they don't do it this publicly.

ok tony that's enough. tell me what's actually happening

WordCamp US, one of the biggest WordPress industry events of the year, is the backdrop for all this. It just finished.

There are.... a lot of posts by Matt across multiple platforms because, as always, he can't log off. But here's the broad strokes.

Sep 17

Matt publishes a wanky blog post about companies that profit off open source without giving back. It targets a specific company, WP Engine.

Compare the Five For the Future pages from Automattic and WP Engine, two companies that are roughly the same size with revenue in the ballpark of half a billion. These pledges are just a proxy and aren’t perfectly accurate, but as I write this, Automattic has 3,786 hours per week (not even counting me!), and WP Engine has 47 hours. WP Engine has good people, some of whom are listed on that page, but the company is controlled by Silver Lake, a private equity firm with $102 billion in assets under management. Silver Lake doesn’t give a dang about your Open Source ideals. It just wants a return on capital. So it’s at this point that I ask everyone in the WordPress community to vote with your wallet. Who are you giving your money to? Someone who’s going to nourish the ecosystem, or someone who’s going to frack every bit of value out of it until it withers?

(It's worth noting here that Automattic is funded in part by BlackRock, who Wikipedia calls "the world's largest asset manager".)

Sep 20 (WCUS final day)

WP Engine puts out a blog post detailing their contributions to WordPress.

Matt devotes his keynote/closing speech to slamming WP Engine.

He also implies people inside WP Engine are sending him information.

For the people sending me stuff from inside companies, please do not do it on your work device. Use a personal phone, Signal with disappearing messages, etc. I have a bunch of journalists happy to connect you with as well. #wcus — Twitter I know private equity and investors can be brutal (read the book Barbarians at the Gate). Please let me know if any employee faces firing or retaliation for speaking up about their company's participation (or lack thereof) in WordPress. We'll make sure it's a big public deal and that you get support. — Tumblr

Matt also puts out an offer live at WordCamp US:

“If anyone of you gets in trouble for speaking up in favor of WordPress and/or open source, reach out to me. I’ll do my best to help you find a new job.” — source tweet, RTed by Matt

He also puts up a poll asking the community if WP Engine should be allowed back at WordCamps.

Sep 21

Matt writes a blog post on the WordPress.org blog (the official project blog!): WP Engine is not WordPress.

He opens this blog post by claiming his mom was confused and thought WP Engine was official.

The blog post goes on about how WP Engine disabled post revisions (which is a pretty normal thing to do when you need to free up some resources), therefore being not "real" WordPress. (As I said earlier, WordPress.com disables most features for Personal and Premium plans. Or whatever those plans are called, they've been renamed like 12 times in the last few years. But that's a different complaint.)

Sep 22: More bullshit on Twitter. Matt makes a Reddit post on r/Wordpress about WP Engine that promptly gets deleted. Writeups start to come out:

Search Engine Journal: WordPress Co-Founder Mullenweg Sparks Backlash

TechCrunch: Matt Mullenweg calls WP Engine a ‘cancer to WordPress’ and urges community to switch providers

Sep 23 onward

Okay, time zones mean I can't effectively sequence the rest of this.

Matt defends himself on Reddit, casually mentioning that WP Engine is now suing him.

Also here's a decent writeup from someone involved with the community that may be of interest.

WP Engine drops the full PDF of their cease and desist, which includes screenshots of Matt apparently threatening them via text.

Twitter link | Direct PDF link

This PDF includes some truly fucked texts where Matt appears to be trying to get WP Engine to pay him money unless they want him to tell his audience at WCUS that they're evil.

Matt, after saying he's been sued and can't talk about it, hosts a Twitter Space and talks about it for a couple hours.

He also continues to post on Reddit, Twitter, and on the Core contributor Slack.

Here's a comment where he says WP Engine could have avoided this by paying Automattic 8% of their revenue.

Another, 20 hours ago, where he says he's being downvoted by "trolls, probably WPE employees"

At some point, Matt updates the WordPress Foundation trademark policy. I am 90% sure this was him — it's not legalese and makes no fucking sense to single out WP Engine.

Old text: The abbreviation “WP” is not covered by the WordPress trademarks and you are free to use it in any way you see fit. New text: The abbreviation “WP” is not covered by the WordPress trademarks, but please don’t use it in a way that confuses people. For example, many people think WP Engine is “WordPress Engine” and officially associated with WordPress, which it’s not. They have never once even donated to the WordPress Foundation, despite making billions of revenue on top of WordPress.

Sep 25: Automattic puts up their own legal response.

anyway this fucking sucks

This is bigger than anything Matt's done before. I'm so worried about my friends who're still there. The internal ramifications have... been not great so far, including that Matt's naturally being extra gung-ho about "you're either for me or against me and if you're against me then don't bother working your two weeks".

Despite everything, I like WordPress. (If you dig into this, you'll see plenty of people commenting about blocks or Gutenberg or React other things they hate. Unlike many of the old FOSSheads, I actually also think Gutenberg/the block editor was a good idea, even if it was poorly implemented.)

I think that the original mission — to make it so anyone can spin up a website that's easy enough to use and blog with — is a good thing. I think, despite all the ways being part of FOSS communities since my early teens has led to all kinds of racist, homophobic and sexual harm for me and for many other people, that free and open-source software is important.

So many people were already burning out of the project. Matt has been doing this for so long that those with long memories can recite all the ways he's wrecked shit back a decade or more. Most of us are exhausted and need to make money to live. The world is worse than it ever was.

Social media sucks worse and worse, and this was a world in which people missed old webrings, old blogs, RSS readers, the world where you curated your own whimsical, unpaid corner of the Internet. I started actually actively using my own WordPress blog this year, and I've really enjoyed it.

And people don't want to deal with any of this.

The thing is, Matt's right about one thing: capital is ruining free open-source software. What he's wrong about is everything else: the idea that WordPress.com isn't enshittifying (or confusing) at a much higher rate than WP Engine, the idea that WP Engine or Silver Lake are the only big players in the field, the notion that he's part of the solution and not part of the problem.

But he's started a battle where there are no winners but the lawyers who get paid to duke it out, and all the volunteers who've survived this long in an ecosystem increasingly dominated by big money are giving up and leaving.

Anyway if you got this far, consider donating to someone on gazafunds.com. It'll take much less time than reading this did.

[modawg]

i’m gonna be honest i can’t read modern highschool pjo fics bc y’all keep tryina put the seven in certain cliques and it just doesn’t work for me

instead i raise you minimum wage job au like they all work at walmart or chipotle together; or my personal fav their all life guards bc i feel like that shit would just be funny asf

and the camps are the high schools they go to except they aren’t really talked abt much other then a “oh yeah i know hazel bc we go to the same highschool” yada yada

however i feel like theyd be split into who works with who the most based off the camps too like maybe reyna and jason work the most together as manager pairs bc in the books their praetors together if that makes sense but bottom line they all work together

i just feel like that’s the next best thing that would make the most sense in the funniest way

the workplace drama the coworker relations the shenanigans it would be so good

i could see annabeth jason percy and reyna being the managers bc they’ve been there the longest and everyone else are just the workers always scheduled with them

it’s not like the world rests on their shoulders but their the ones holding that shit show together yk

i think it’s better then in a school au bc it doesn’t really add social hierarchy of “this is nico he’s the loser freak w no friends” and just that their all teens who work at this one shitty job and make 10-15$ an hour

the only ppl who take it seriously are annabeth reyna and frank hazel does too sometimes but only when one of those three are watching

everyone else is a little too self aware to give af

jason used to care bc this was his first job but now he’s super chill he knows how to do everything so he doesn’t have to take it too seriously bc he knows in the end if he puts on his customer service voice it’ll all be ok (also he can lock in when he has to)