#creepy peepee

[lucjanbnuuy]

And so the SPOOKY MONTH has begun >:]]]]

quick thing with you know who it still haunts me that he canonically uses those damn gifs.

[psy-pug]

OR

[equibo]

Please make this a thing

[creepyscritches]

There's no way to not feel like a clown when I fill out vet appointment forms with shit like Pee-Pee is stuffy but Stinky is fine he will be there bc Pee-Pee and Stinky are inseparable

[strawberrydolly333]

POV: rafe meets your sonny angels

rafe cameron walked into your room only to be met with an army of sonny angels, smiling at him. “shit kid, why the hell do you have these creepy dolls?”

“they’re not dolls rafey, they’re sonny angels!” you said, shoving a starfish one up his face with you smiling at him like the toy itself.

he grabbed it, inspecting the toy. it had wings on its back, buttcheeks completely bare, and its peepee sticking out. “jesus is this what you buy with my card?”

[lucy-the-demon]

Spooky dookie because I am a biological female and cannot use the creepy peepee because of my anatomy lmao

God I sound like Demetrius dafuq

The answer "or" is not accepted

damnit, how did you predict my next move? i was gonna say "or".

... spooky dookie.

[vitzi9]

Could you do a story but with male reader pleasee <3

Come out, come out

Creepy!Ethan Landry x Male!Reader

Masterlist if you want to read my other things.

CW/TW: Phone-sex, sub!Ethan, AMAB Reader, stalker Ethan, dirty talk from Ethan (like really), reader has a dick and has he/him pronouns, FILTHY

(put me in jail)

Been dead for months and came back to life for some smut, what a life man (I do not respect myself)

I didn't know if you meant male reader as in AMAB or else so I post this and I'll probably do others where reader's genitals parts are not specified.

05/05/2024 (3147 words)

Your relationship with Ethan was not the easiest. He was hard to understand, for anyone really. You’ve known each other for a few months, been really close as well. Chad, his roommate, was often absent. Whether working or out with friends. While Ethan was calmer, learning his lessons and globally just more insecure to go out that much.

Of course you’d offer to come to his place when he was bored or wanted to hang out with you. You met in class, you were paired together for a project and became good friends ever since. Ethan and you spent almost every afternoon after class at his place, talking, working or watching movies. He wasn’t an open man, for example, he categorically refuses you to enter his room. Though Chad, who you stumbled upon one day before he left for his girlfriend’s, assured you he was forbidden to enter as well.

Ethan was a private man, you did not know anything about his family or love interest, you did not even know whether he liked you or not, as you sure started to like him. How could you not ? He was kind, nerdy, smart and handsome. Sadly, you believed he never thought about you that way.

Until one night, after a movie session that exhausted you both, you found yourself cuddling on the couch, dizzy and half conscious.

It started when two men on screen start getting closer and closer to each other. You know how there's more gays showed on TV, sometimes you hate it because people look at you weird when this shows up, like you're the one who fucking put it in the movie.

But tonight, you hated it even more because your crush was here.

The worst is not knowing if Ethan is gay or not. Straight men love to laugh about gay sex, (why, you don't know but maybe it's funny) it's possible for him to start saying things like "Aha gay funny and weird aha peepee in the ass" or some shit. But Ethan's finger, who was on the cushion between you, inches towards your thigh. Confused, you tried to read his face but his eyes were solely in the screen, cheeks burning red.

It escalated quickly from there, he pulled you onto his lap, his hands were groping your ass, your lips on his, you touching his chest, his tongue against yours. You did not have sex with him as Chad came back in the middle of you humping his roommate, interrupting you and forcing you to separate from each other. You also did not have sex with him seeing as the next day he avoided you like the plague. You never actively told him of your attraction for men, but never hid it either. You left clues, small interactions when you’d mention finding someone handsome, never speaking about women you find sexy or, whatever straight men usually talk about. But you think you showed it enough that night.

Ethan, on the other hand, kept his love life pretty secret from you.

He never mentioned any crush or exes, whether it was men or women. Ethan could be friends with anyone, yes, you know that gay men could be friends with men as well but you were getting desperate to find out what he really was so you were taking what you could. What if he has a crush on Chad ? It was possible, after all. Or maybe he was talking to men online, you never know. But he could also very well talk to women online, and have a crush on a girl somewhere.

Ethan is cute, he’s sexy, even. Of course you’d be devastated after your kiss. He ignored you ! You read online of straight men trying things with men only for the thrill of it, to know how it is and everything but you never experienced it for yourself. Ethan isn’t like that, right ? Has he even had any partner before ? You don’t remember it.

It's dragging your own feet that you enter your apartment. Shoulders tensed and legs burning. Taking out your keys out of your pocket, you inch them towards the door only to let them drop on the ground. You sigh, feeling your nerves on the edge of exploding.

You crouch down, picking them up before putting it in the keyhole only for the key to be stuck. You frown and, confused, you push the door. It opens with no resistance.

What the... ? You didn't lock the door ? What crossed your mind this morning ! In such a crazy city no less ! But as there's no signs of any intruder being here or having been here, you simply unprepare yourself in the bathroom before enjoying a shower.

Drying up quickly, you realize having forgotten your pajamas in your bedroom. Towel around the waist, you search tiredly in your closet for any clothes you can sleep in. Seeing none, you question yourself about where you last put them. Did you put them in the washing machine ? You don't remember. Then where are your damn pajamas ? At one point, you grab a simple shirt before going back to the bathroom.

You place the towel on the heater for it to dry up but in doing so you take a look at yourself in the mirror. You frown.

What's that ? That's not your t-shirt ? You take it between your index and thumb, creasing the fabric. When was the last time you invited someone over ? Did it belong to one of your exes's ? You can't seem to remember.

You sniff it for a second, even if the odds were low, that maybe the person's smell would still be there. It's not, well, you don't think it is anyway. It smells clean, not a perfume, more like simple laundry.

As long as it's clean ! And nobody ever asked you to give it back so... Guess it's yours now. Before leaving for the kitchen, you check the pile of dirty clothes in your closet, learning with surprise that a lot of your supposed clean clothes are in it.

Okay, you're definitely going crazy to forget such things.

You rub your face, trying to wake you up before finally going to the kitchen. Phone is discarded on the counter while you search for anything good in the fridge. But a ringing followed by numerous vibrations grabs your attention away. Dragging your feet to your phone, you're confused at the sigh of a number you previously erased, waning to forget it.

Ethan Landry.

Ethan is calling you, you know it because you memorized his number. You let the ringtone pass, hoping he would give up. When your vocal messaging informed him to leave a message, you thought he would finally send you a text and let it go. But he called again, and again. Until you pick up, after the third call.

Only to be greeted by utter silence.

Great, he harasses you by phone and doesn't talk. What is wrong with him ? He better have good excuses.

“Ethan ? you ask, confused. A throat clearing on the other hand of the call is the only proof of his presence.

-Uh, hi, man. How, uh, how are you doing ? he asks, more awkward than ever. He’s out of breath.

Weird, why is he talking like that ? You check the time with a frown, he’s probably still in public transport, hence his breathless state. It’s Wednesday, the day he goes for errants. That’s probably where he was.

-I’m fine, man." You insisted particularly on the last word. "How are you doing ? Why the late call ? " It’s not that late by any means, it’s only 7PM (19h) but it’s confusing coming from him, especially after his long absence.

-I was just… Checking, I guess. It’s been a while.

Of course it has, he’s the one who ghosted you.

-Right, that's not really my fault though…” Awkward. What's he going to say now ? What does he really want ?

-Yeah, I kind of panicked, I guess. Sorry about that." And that's it. His sole excuse is "I panicked". Great. Nice. He clearly cares for you a lot ! How could you crush on this guy ?

You’re able to hear crumplings on his side, which makes you ask yourself whether he is really in transports or already home. Though, there is no way you’ll ask him directly, that’ll make him believe you still think about him and remember his week’s schedule. Which you do, you still think about him and know his damn schedule. Ethan takes a deep breath, as if to instill courage into himself.

“It’s gonna sound weird, I’m aware. He pauses, preparing you (or himself) to his next words. Can you just talk to me ? You can tell me anything, really.

-What ?

-I can't sleep.

Is that a good or bad thing that he thought about you before sleeping ? You’d say bad, as he ignored you for weeks before, visibly, deciding he needed you enough to come back.

-Wow, I’m flattered you thought about me to fall asleep. You say ironically. Am I that boring ?

-No, you’re not… You’re not boring. He gulps his saliva. Just talk to me, please. I like your voice.

Something’s wrong with his voice. It’s like he remains out of breath. Maybe he’s running ? He’s a strong man, he’s probably doing a marathon or something. Wait, what are you talking about, he said he needed to sleep. He’s not running at all. Then what the hell ?

-Ethan, are you sure you’re okay ? You sound weird. What are you doing ?

-Nothing, he says, but you clearly hear him exhaling a long puff of air out of his nose. I think I’m a little sick.

-Ethan ? you ask again, resulting in him coughing after, you guess, badly swallowing his own saliva.

-Just talk to me, okay ? I’m on the edge of sleeping. Particular choice of words, Ethan.

-I don’t have anything to say, honestly. I worked today, that’s all.

-Tell me all about it.

You’re a cashier, there is literally nothing interesting enough to brag about. People are mean to you, others are nice. Being a cashier is long and boring.

-Helen, you know the girl with short hair I told you about, you start after seeing he wouldn’t let go. Ethan simply hums. She dropped the big pile of canned goods at the entrance and it fell on an old woman. She threatened to sue us.”

After this, you simply told him all about your day, even the most boring stuff. It was nice to have someone listening to you after a long day, on the other hand, it was Ethan you were talking to. Never had he interrupted you, only sometimes humming at your words or letting some kind of throaty sound out, making you aware he was still awake.

Sometimes as well, he would inhale, or exhale, louder, as if falling in and out of sleep.

But most of the time, his sheets would crease under him due to his constant movements. You don't know, but he seems agitated. Maybe he had a hard day ?

“...but he told me it was my job to clean after him ! I’m a cashier, not a slave. I told him I’d call the manager and, of course, he got escorted out. Seriously, people are so impolite, why do they think it’s okay to look down on me ? He did not answer, did he finally fall asleep ?

-Ethan ?” you ask, almost whispering.

He’s not sleeping, you realize. You clearly still hear his frantic breathing, he’s talking, too. You can’t quite understand but it looks like curses. “Ethan ?” you call. Putting the call on speaker, you listen carefully to each sound coming from him. What the hell is he doing ? Your ear catches another sound, lower, distant but very much here. Confusion paints your face, you approach your ear on the screen hoping to hear better.

Faint, swift wet sounds paired with his frantic breathing create an image of Ethan you never thought you’d hear. You can only think about one thing, him laying on his bed, jerking off talking to you.

This can’t be real. Ethan, it’s Ethan on the phone. He’s not a creep. He’s a shy man, and most of all, he’s straight. Ethan can’t be attracted to you, right ? Your heart is pounding in your rib cage from panic, stress, excitation; everything at once.

“Ethan are you fucking touching yourself over me right now ? he quietly moans.

-Yes, yes I am. Please don’t hang up, just… Just wait a little bit, please." His phone hits something, probably his chest, because now all you hear are the wet movements of his hand on his member.

Is it you or is it getting kind of hot in there ?

You stare at the wall, completely lost and overwhelmed by the situation, eyes not wanting to close. Ethan is jerking off on the phone, right now. He’s moaning, having stopped hiding by now. Is it a red flag ? It’s sort of weird to masturbate on the phone with someone not even aware of it. Ethan mutters something sounding like a question, you gulp, regaining your senses and asking him to repeat.

-I need to suck your dick really bad.

Oh !

Heat spread throughout your whole body in a generalized shiver at his words. You were absolutely burning from the inside. It’s now necessary to choose or you won’t be able to later. Are you really turned on or are you just missing being desired ? Are you excited by Ethan or do you just like the idea of him finally returning your affection ? You wouldn't have been turned on if your ex told you he's been touching himself and not even listening to you, in fact, you would have got angry and humiliated. But it's Ethan and you won't meet a man like him ever again.

-Face-time me, he pleads.

Taking your phone away from your ear, you click on the camera icon without thinking. Immediately, his clothed legs appear as well as his dick, your eyes going as wide as saucers. His jogging pants are soaked, it’s sticking to his skin through the fabric. Your member twitches in your pants, one of your hands quiver closer to it.

-Look at me, he whispers.

How many times has he came already ? And was it on the phone ? You didn’t even hear him ! His dick is shiny with cum, his hand is sliding on the tip, holding it firmly. His sighs only grow louder and louder. Backing against the counter, you start rubbing your dick through your pants, enthralled by the scene before you.

All of this, just for you ?

-I’m sorry, he whimpers, I’m sorry. I… His hips move against his hand to follow the movement but he moves so fast that his dick slips out of his hold, resulting in a frustrated sigh leaving his lips. Seeing him acting so desperate has you putting your hand in your pants immediately.

-I shouldn’t have ghosted you. He mutters, fueling your ego by finally obtaining remorse from him. It’s bad, but you’re so damn horny right now you’re drinking his words. We should’ve fucked that day…

-Yeah, you sigh dreamily, we should've.

-Let me see it, let me see your dick. With such hungry words, you can’t do much but oblige. You lower your pants enough to take out your cock, pointing the camera at it. Ethan moans, his hand going down to play with his balls. Knew you’d be sexy.

Fuck, the effect he has on you was almost worrying. You were so down bad for him, glad he’s in the same situation. Knowing he thought about you like that for a moment as well was so sexy you could burst in your pants.

Blinking slowly with eyes hazed by desire, you notice his legs moving to the side, spreading open. You now realize, even if it’s logical, that he’s in his room and that you’ve never seen it before. He displayed lot of posters on his walls, it's dark so it's hard to see what is it. Looking haphazardly around him, your eyes widen in confusion, curiosity replacing horniness for a brief moment.

Something caught your eyes in his room, you did not notice it until now as his dick was honestly more important than anything, but a book is on his bed. Your hand slows its movements on your member, utterly unhinged by its content. It’s not a book but a photo album, it’s disgustingly stained with cum and the picture in it is well too familiar for your liking.

-Ethan, is that…

My face ? you thought, not having enough strength to end your sentence.

-Yeah, he moans, so sexy like that. You’re so sexy when you don’t know I’m here. So handsome. My man, mine, so sexy.

What ?

-Want you to cum on my face like I cum on yours. His hand rubs frenetically at his dick. I’d... I'd swallow it all for you, he sighs. Want to be all yours. Forever. He ends his sentence on a shaky note, making you believe he was on the verge on coming.

His movements gained speed, wet sounds invading both his place and yours. You were second guessing everything really hard.

-Want to be your cumdump for you to use when you want...” Getting chill from his words, you hang up on the spot, throwing your phone on the counter before you. Looking down, you stare at your semi soft member, suddenly feeling disgusted by what you did. You get dressed up again, putting a hand on your tummy as if to prevent you from throwing up.

What the hell was that ?

Since when did Ethan… How did he… Why… He was jerking off to pictures of you ? What is wrong with him ? At one point, Ethan must have finished his business as your phone vibrates on the counter. You send daggers at it, not wanting to look at it one bit. But somehow, you do anyway, only to regret it instantly after. He sent you a photo.

A photo of that damned book, your head close-up full of his cum with his dick on the lower part of the screen, followed by a smiling emoji. You stare at it for a while, asking yourself at which point were you supposed to guess that Ethan was a psychopath. After some seconds, he sends you another text, one you almost shiver over.

“What do you think about coming over tomorrow ?“

[its-still-shrub]

Hello Babes,

🚫MDNI. Ppl younger than 21, instant block. No age on your blog instant block. Pedos, Anti-LGBTQ+, racists, and dick wagons, you can fuck off too🚫

I’m 30F, housewife, MILF, bi, monogamous, married, and not interested😇

Don’t expect a lot here. This place is NSFW 90% of the time. The rest is funny, cute, and creepy. There’s no rhyme or reason to it. You’ll find hard kinks here, so please proceed with caution as I will not be putting tw on most things. All my personal posts can be found under #pics or #text

I don’t follow back blogs with no personal photos or text posts.

I block super easy. NO I’m not trying to roleplay, or have any sexual conversation with you.

Remember, don’t be creepy, I don’t want to see your peepee.

DM’s are open to moots only, everyone else please use the ask or submissions box. Compliments and such are very much welcome!🫶🏻

Feel free to reblog my personal stuff! I love positive attention! Just keep your own commentary in the tags! Please and thank you!

To reiterate, 21+ only! I don’t care if you stalk my blog, but don’t interact or follow till you’re 21 please. I will be checking!

As always, do whatever you want, just don’t be a dick ✌🏼

(Not) Yours,

Shrub

(Old blog stuff can be found under #old blog text and #old blog pic)

[jumblekinz]

on god imma take a spooky dookie here. a creepy peepee, even.

[hellomynameisalias]

1) creepy peepee

2) spooky dooky

[ughgoaway]

such a tough question but my 9 inch long hard dick is telling me creepy peepee

[papirouge]

Not here to debate with you about the ethics of abortion, but I don't think having a phobia of pregnancy is a moral failure. It's extremely harsh on your body and many women do suffer complications in childbirth. I don't know what pro lifers want people with pregnancy phobias to do. Like, do you guys want to forcibly impregnate them anyway to fulfill their WoManLy DuTiEs? Good luck making that work.

Besides, people who don't want kids shouldn't breed anyway.

There's a difference between a phobia and being straight up delusional and offensive.

To give you an example ; it's like people who have a phobia of sharks and say "their teeth are scary, I don't like their shape, their eyes, their wide mouth, etc" OK ✅

And those who are like : "sharks are disgusting creatures from hell and should all be killed" That's not ok, delusional and lowkey psychopathic.

Sorry but as a woman, i'm not going to let crazy self hating women mock and attack my biology out of their mental illness. That's not a phobia when you feel entitled to diss other humans being entire biology, with whom they were naturally born with. They're litterally calling innocent babies "sreeching gremlin" I DARE YOU to say that's not some sign of sociopathy.

And it wouldn't be so much annoying it it didn't came from the same crowd of so called "feminists" who pretend fighting for women to "love themselves in their natural state". Gurl, shut up, you HATE yourself and what your body can do. You'd rather mutilate yourself (while mocking TRA doing so to change gender) than life with a functioning reproductive system so much you're scare of getting pregnant. That's CRAZY and thats how bad as women removing their breast or moids cutting their peepees. I want people to start respecting their GOD GIVEN body for once and stop mutilating themselves over narcissism, fear, or "phobia".

At least redpiller moids have more legitimacy to mock women bodily functions because they don't have none, so they're not marking against their own side. It's crazy how on so many level redpiller moids are way more strategic, clever and cohesive in their train of thoughts compared to radfem. They hate women, and admit to only like *that part* for sex - but you'll NEVER.EVER hear them make fun of male biology like feminists do. Because they are way more protective of their gender rep than feminists are. Let that sink in.

And please, you guys need to stop with that borderline cumbrain creepy obsession with imagining people being out on the hunt to force preg women.... Beside rapists, NOBODY is forcing you to get pregnant. We are nobodies from the internet saying shit. The Handmaid's Tale is a BOOK. (I always found very ironic how the same radfem who made fun of Harry Potter stans are literally doing the same thing, making one (1) book storyline the fundamental basis of their world worldview - but I digress).

And no one is denying that pregnancy isn't hard on the body. By compelling people to have responsible and selective sex, pro lifers are more than anyone else conscious of how serious pregnancy is, and the toll it takes on the female body. However, maybe I would take a lil bit more your concern for complications related to pregnancy if pro choicers weren't constantly downplaying the health consequences of abortion and other (hormonal) birth control systems... It's funny how you'll act like pregnancy, a totally natural function our body was literally wired for, is violence against our body, but not....chemically or surgically violently halting a biological synchronicity to forcefully remove/expel body parts.... #abortionistmath

I feel like we're in a timeline where we're so far in the pendulum that went against the lalala glamorization of pregnancy (that's existed since a LOT of time tbh) that now it's trendy to HATE pregnancy, and pass it off as this traumatic almost torture experience that HAS to be avoided at any cost...

Me think many of you sound lowkey mentally ill (it's interesting you're talking about "phobia" because phobia are actual....illness that need to be cured lol That's not...a normal state of mind) and need to learn to be normal about pregnancy. I know I may sound harsh but I'm tired of grown adults getting offended over normal shit when they just need to see a psychologist lol

[peelf]

Would you rather take a creepy peepee or a spooky dookie

creepy peepee,,,

[grannie-nasty]

.

My poor husband thought he was marrying his dream girl and instead he got a lesbian who jump-scares him by pissing with the lights off and the door open and whispering “creepy peepee” as he walks past the bathroom

[adhd-tran-boi]

Spooky dookie or creepy peepee