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slytherinslut0 · 1 year ago

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MATTHEO RIDDLE- Beg For Me

Chapter Twenty Two-Info: You and Mattheo have been butting heads for months, since you were assigned as his tutor, and one day, during a session full of tense bickering, he has enough.

(This will essentially be a toxic book where we are Theos fucktoy. No love here, very minimal fluff.)

Tags: very angst. lots of emotions going on here. reader proves herself to the syltherin boys. honestly just a really playful, fun, light chapter.

FIND THE REST OF THE CHAPTERS HERE.

In the wake of Mattheo's cutting words, three days had passed--three seemingly endless days since he had slammed the door shut on your attempts to help him, his declaration of your connection being nothing more than a futile endeavour, one destined for ruin once the end of the school year rolled around still ringing in your ears like a haunting melody.

The echo of his harsh words reverberated within your mind, an incessant hologram with no escape, seeping into your thoughts during sleepless nights, intruding upon your attempts to focus on anything else. You weren't sure why those words had cut so fucking deep, because in the moment you'd hardly even flinched, but you couldn't ignore the lingering pain they caused.

And during those agonizing days, an uncomfortable tension settled between the two of you, hanging in the air like an unspoken truth. You took the hint, biting back the words that threatened to spill, choosing silence over confrontation. You trailed after him like a shadow in between classes, keenly aware that any attempt at conversation would only ignite another explosive clash, a battle neither of you felt prepared to wage again so soon.

The memory of your last argument lingered, its toxicity staining the air between you, leaving wounds too deep to heal without acknowledgment and remorse; two things neither of you seemed ready to give, quite yet.

But what really made matters worse, was that both of you were unyielding in your convictions--both of you shamelessly stubborn and unapologetic, neither of you feeling as though you were in the wrong. Mattheo barricaded himself behind walls, lashing out as if you were the enemy, despite your unwavering efforts to assist him--which, in turn, resulted in your pushiness. Your refusal to tolerate his aggression without challenge, became your armor, your way of standing your ground.

Maybe you had been too forceful, perhaps too harsh, but in your eyes, it was a response to the aggression he hurled your way. You couldn't simply let his hostility go unchecked; it was against your nature. And so, the standoff continued, a battle of wills and tempers, leaving both of you entrenched in your own convictions, neither of you willing to admit fault.

But today, you decided you weren't going to hide back anymore. You couldn't allow your stubbornness to completely destroy whatever progress you had made with Mattheo thus far. This was about more than just your pitiful feelings, or whatever emotions you had tied into the situation with that complicated boy. This was about being there for him, wether he wants you to be or not. Showing compassion and patience.

And so, summing newfound determination, you shook off the weight of your own melancholy and sought him out after dinner. Today, he and his group of friends had chosen the serene ambiance by the black lake as their study sanctuary, immersing themselves in the preparation for the upcoming charms exam next week.

Over the past three days, you had gradually grown somewhat acquainted with his friends. While you hadn't quite reached the level of camaraderie, there was a palpable shift in their attitudes towards you, a subtle warmth replacing the earlier distance. This change in dynamics became more evident, especially after the unsettling incident involving Berkshire, who still remained confined to the hospital wing, almost a week later.

With determined resolve, you traversed the courtyard and descended the hill toward the lake, drawing in a steadying breath. Each step echoed your silent promise: to honour Mattheo's boundaries, even if it felt like swallowing shards of glass. The crisp air seemed to echo your determination as you neared the group of Slytherin boys, their laughter and banter carried on the breeze.

Among them, Mattheo sat with his usual nonchalant demeanor, his tousled hair framing his intense eyes. A cigarette dangled effortlessly from his fingers, his bag slumped lazily beside him as he rested stoically against a tall tree, lost in conversation with Malfoy. As you veered closer, his gaze met yours briefly, as though he sensed your presence, the darkness within his eyes sending a shiver down your spine. Beside him, Blaise Zabini's face lit up with anticipation, a welcoming smile playing on his lips as he waved you over.

"Well good evening, little raven...always a pleasure," Blaise grinned, his tone teasing as he made room for you to sit down next to him. "Here to keep an eye on Riddle, are you?"

As you settled into the space between Blaise and Mattheo, the group of boys, including Theodore Nott, Draco Malfoy, and Regulus Black, welcomed you with light smiles and eager nods.

"Perhaps." You teased, sneaking a glance at Mattheo, his gaze planted on the cigarette between his fingers as he fiddled with it. "Or perhaps I'm here to make sure you lot don't burn down the entire forest during your little 'study session'..."

"Rest assured, we're Hogwarts' best-behaved troublemakers," Draco chuckled, his eyes glinting with mischief, a cocky smile playing on his lips. "But if you're worried about the forest, maybe you should stick around...your presence might just be the calming influence we need."

Your blush was undeniable as you smirked, meeting Draco's silver eyes across from Mattheo. He leaned back on his palms as his gaze darted over your features, the top buttons of his uniform shirt undone, exuding an air of effortless confidence.

"I know enough about you, Malfoy, to know that's the furthest thing from the truth," you said, your tone teasing. "But either way, I won't be going anywhere anytime soon...unfortunately for him, Riddle here is stuck with me for a few more weeks."

Blaise chuckled, his voice low and smooth. "Ah, the lucky bloke," he replied, his eyes meeting yours with a smouldering intensity. "If I had my way, you'd find yourself stuck with me, instead...and I assure you, it would be a much more enjoyable experience..."

You quirked an eyebrow. "Is that so?"

"Oh yes," he teased, his voice a playful melody as he shot Mattheo a knowing wink. "I know all too well the misery of enduring Riddle's icy presence all day; he could freeze a bloody dragon with that demeanor...it's almost cute that you think you'll be able to change him."

The timbre of his voice, a melodic dance of amusement, filled the space around you, and Mattheo's demeanor, once steely and composed, seemed to falter slightly under the weight of Blaise's remarks.

His features tightened, as if grappling with invisible chains, and your own smile, once confident, wavered slightly, betraying the impact of Blaise's words. Swallowing hard, you felt the weight of his teasing remarks settle in the pit of your stomach, a heavy reminder of the argument you and Mattheo had just a few days ago. Despite the discomfort, you summoned your courage, your voice soft yet resolute as you spoke.

"I'm not trying to change him, Blaise," your words hung in the air, delicate and firm, like a fragile thread of understanding. "I'm just here to support him...whenever he's ready to let me."

Your words lingered for a moment, underscoring your unwavering dedication to bolster Mattheo without imposing change upon his core. Although you were directing these words at Blaise, you hoped Mattheo had taken heed of them--as this mentorship, you understood now, was not about altering his identity; it was about assisting him in unraveling the internal struggles, urging him to redirect his anger into positive outlets rather than combatting every perceived threat with physical violence.

Blaise's eyes softened, his usual playful demeanor giving way to a more contemplative expression. He leaned in closer, his gaze scanning your features with a profound curiosity, as if searching for hidden depths within your soul. His voice, now tinged with awe and respect, broke the silence.

"Where have you been all this time, hm? He could have used someone like you years ago..." he murmured, his gaze shifting between you and Mattheo, a glint of intrigue shimmering in his dark eyes. "She must truly be something special for you to willingly sacrifice your freedom for her, Riddle."

"A special pain in my ass, yeah," Mattheo said, his voice seemingly devoid of emotion, a subtle hint of sarcasm lacing his words. As he took a draw of his cigarette, a flicker of annoyance flashed in his eyes, the smoke curling around him like a shield. "Nothing about this arrangement was willingly chosen, Zabini..."

Despite the gravity of his words, a rush of warmth surged within you at Mattheo's candid remark. Amusement sparked in your eyes, a glint of playful defiance as you tried to suppress a smirk that threatened to betray your composure.

"Don't let him fool you, he loves it..." your voice, low and teasing, hung in the air, the words daring and provocative as you shamelessly appraised Mattheo's hardened features. "Isn't that right, Riddle? You know you enjoy being kept on your toes for once..."

Mattheo met your gaze, his eyes narrowing slightly, but a flicker of amusement danced in their depths. Your boldness didn't go unnoticed, a silent understanding passing between you amidst the banter. With an air of nonchalance, he raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips as he brought his cigarette to his mouth once more.

"Yeah, that's what I enjoy," he drawled, his tone dry and drenched in sarcasm. "Being kept on my toes."

A rush of heat flooded your cheeks at Mattheo's sneakily playful words, your attempt to conceal your reaction falling short. Your eyes dropped to your lap, a feeble effort to shield your reddening face from the prying eyes around you. The charged words hung thick in the air, every gaze in the circle keenly aware of the subtle shift in dynamics. Before you could even think to react, Theodore Nott's voice, low and teasing, sliced through the tension, his eyes glinting with a playful gleam that hinted at secrets only he knew.

"Careful, Bella Mia..." he cautioned, his words hanging in the space between you, laden with enigmatic warnings. "You'll only get hurt."

Confusion knit your brows, a perplexed frown marring your features as you tried to decipher his cryptic statement.

"What?" you asked, your voice betraying your bewilderment.

"Your smile..." he replied with a knowing smirk, his tone light but filled with subtle implications, "...you look like you're about to fall in love."

The breath caught in your throat, the world around you momentarily blurring as Theodore's unexpected revelation hit you like a tidal wave. The color drained from your cheeks, leaving your face pale, and your heart thudded against your ribs with a fervent urgency, as if pleading for clarity. Flustered and unprepared, you turned your gaze toward Mattheo, seeking solace in his familiar presence.

Nervousness danced in your eyes, a desperate search for reassurance before you stammered out a denial, the words tumbling from your lips in a rush. "Fall...in love? With Mattheo? Sorry, no...no bloody way."

Your words spilled out in a hurried, almost desperate attempt to dispel the implication, yet there was an undeniable tremor in your voice, a subtle quiver that betrayed the unease settling deep within you. Mattheo's eyes met yours, but they held an emptiness, a haunting void that sent a shiver down your spine, something distant flickering within them, making your stomach twist in uneasy knots.

Around you, the group erupted into sneers and light chuckles, their amusement palpable as they sensed your flustered expression. But your attention remained fixated on Mattheo, his silent gaze carrying the weight of Theodore's words, a looming storm cloud hanging over your heads, heavy with unspoken implications.

In love. The notion seemed absurd, impossible even. No, it couldn't be true. There was no way.

"Nott's right, you'll only get hurt..." Malfoy's sneering voice cut through the air, his words laced with a malicious amusement as he cast a sideways glance at Theodore, who snickered in agreement. "You're far too innocent for Riddle... he'd chew you up and spit you out in a second...any of us would..."

He paused, his cold eyes darting from yours to Mattheo's, and back to yours again, as if sizing up the situation. A sly smirk played on his lips, the cruel glint in his eyes sharpening. "Well, perhaps not Notty boy here; he's a little softer."

A surge of heat coursed through your veins, igniting a fierce determination within you that contrasted sharply with the warm, gentle breeze caressing your skin. Despite the pressure weighing heavily upon you and the palpable weight of their expectations hanging in the air, you refused to succumb to their underestimation. With your pulse quickening, you squared your shoulders, locking eyes with Malfoy's cocky gaze.

"You know...I don't believe I'm as fragile as you all seem to think I am," you retorted, words laced with conviction, challenging their perception of you. "I can handle myself just fine."

"Don't let her appearance fool you," Mattheo's words, unexpectedly slicing through the charged atmosphere, nearly startled your heart out of your chest. His voice, dripping with playful irony, reverberated through your limbs as he spoke without even sparing you a glance, his dark hair framing his face and his whiskey eyes meeting Malfoy's with a challenging glint. "That pretty face hides one hell of a devilish mind."

A collective reaction rippled through the group of boys, their eyebrows shooting up in surprise, their smirks growing wider. The implications of Mattheo's remark hung thick in the air, sparking newfound curiosity and amusement that crackled in the atmosphere like electricity. Malfoy seized the opportunity, his smirk taking on a mischievous edge.

"Now you're calling her pretty, Riddle?" he teased, his tone laced with playful skepticism. "Are you sure there's nothing going on between you two? You have been spending a hell of a lot of time together..."

Simultaneously, you both shot back with lightening speed--your words colliding mid-air, overlapping with the others quick response in a chaotic symphony of denial.

"He wishes," you said, your voice carrying a playful edge--while at the same instant, Mattheo sneered, his tone dripping with sarcasm and wit. "In her bloody dreams," he said.

Your synchronized responses elicited another round of chuckles from the boys, a shared moment of camaraderie at the expense of you and Mattheo. The tension between the two of you remained, but the exchange had shifted into a playful rhythm, now, the unspoken dynamics between you two sparking curiosity among the others. Malfoy's chuckles gradually faded, replaced by a challenging glint in his eyes as he raised an eyebrow, a smirk curling his lips.

"Alright then...little good girl," he drawled, his tone laden with mischief. "Why don't you prove it?"

Your nerves prickled beneath your skin, a rush of anxiety coursing through your veins as you stammered, "Prove...it? Prove what?"

"Prove that you aren't as innocent and fragile as we think you are," he challenged, his words hanging in the air like a dare. "Prove that you're more than just your books and your pushy, smartass attitude."

Nervously, you glanced around the circle at each of the boys, their eyes fixed on you with wide grins of anticipation. The weight of their expectations pressed upon you, and you felt the intensity of the moment, wether you wished to ignore it or not. Mattheo didn't dare to meet your gaze, but you could sense the slight smirk playing on his lips as he casually fiddled with his cigarette. After a long, silent moment, you took a deep breath, steeling yourself for what was to come.

"Fine, Malfoy," you said, your voice steady despite the fluttering in your chest. "Challenge excepted."

With determination, you pushed off the ground, turning your attention away from the circle and toward the tranquil expanse of the black lake. The challenge had been accepted, and you were ready to prove that there was more to you than met the eye, ready to do whatever the hell you needed to earn their respect in your own damned way.

The boys surrounding you stared in wide-eyed shock as you swiftly shrugged off your uniform jacket, the soft fabric falling carelessly to the grassy ground. With a quick motion, you kicked off your shoes, the blades of grass tickling your feet beneath the fading sunlight--it was dark enough now that if you moved away from them, toward the edge of the lake, and stripped off your skirt and shirt, they wouldn't be able to see too much. Nevertheless, they'd still catch glimpses, and that was precisely the point.

Mattheo, still seated, shot you a puzzled look, his eyes narrowing with sheer confusion and concern.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he questioned, his voice slicing through the stunned silence. The weight of his gaze bore into you, searching for an explanation that might justify your unexpected actions. A surge of confidence pushed you forward, your resolve unwavering.

"I'm going to prove that I'm more than what you all think," you replied, your voice steady despite the adrenaline coursing through your veins. "And that sometimes, good girls do bad things, too."

Theodore Nott, always one to read the room, glanced between you and Mattheo, a sly smile playing on his lips. "This should be interesting," he murmured, his tone laced with amusement. "Salazar save us..."

With a newfound sense of liberation, you descended toward the tranquil lake, the gentle lapping of water against the shore a soothing melody in the background. The soft rustle of the wind caressed your ears, heightening the anticipation that hung thick in the air. As you began to undo the buttons on your uniform blouse, each delicate movement resonated with the weight of the challenge, setting your heart racing in your chest.

With every button that slipped out, the tension in the atmosphere grew palpable, the burning gazes of the captivated boys etched into your flesh. The fabric of your blouse glided off your shoulders, landing gracefully on the grass like a discarded shield at your feet. Standing there, clad in nothing but your bra and skirt, you felt a heady mix of exhilaration and vulnerability wash over you.

As the cool evening air enveloped your skin, you sensed a presence behind you. Slowly, you peeked over your shoulder to find Mattheo sprinting toward you, his brows furrowed in disbelief and his eyes widened in pure shock. He came to a halt just a few feet away, his voice laden with a mixture of astonishment and genuine concern.

"Have you lost your bloody mind?" he exclaimed, his words a sharp contrast to the stunned silence that had fallen over the group. "You're going to fucking freeze..."

His gaze flickered over you, a kaleidoscope of emotions playing in his eyes, the dominant one undeniably being shock, tinged with a hint of something else--something unspoken and complex. Under the intensity of his stare, you felt a rush of warmth suffuse your skin, a bold defiance kindling within you as your hands moved to the band of your skirt. With deliberate slowness, you teased the length of its waist, holding his eyes captive in a daring challenge.

"What's the matter, Riddle?" you purred, savoring the power in the moment, knowing he couldn't physically intervene in front of his friends without arousing suspicion. "Are you truly worried about me?" Your voice dropped into a low, nearly inaudible whisper as your smirk deepened, relishing the way his eyes tracked your hands. "Or...perhaps...you're just unable to handle other men looking at your property..."

Mattheo's frustration was palpable, his brows furrowing as he struggled to maintain his composure. Yet, beneath the annoyance, there was a glimmer of amusement, a reluctant acknowledgment of your audacity.

"You're playing with fire, again, aren't you?" he muttered, his tone a blend of exasperation and begrudging amusement. A wry smile tugged at the corner of his lips, a hint of admiration for your boldness despite the irritation simmering beneath the surface. "Just be careful you don't get burned."

"Oh, please," you retorted, unable to contain your smirk, the confidence in your voice echoing your daring spirit. "Witches don't burn."

With a swift, decisive motion, you cast your skirt aside, the fabric pooling on the grass as you dashed toward the lake with unbridled determination. Adrenaline coursed through your veins, dulling the edge of the initial shock as you plunged into the cold water. A sharp gasp cut through the night as the icy embrace of the lake stole your breath away, the shock of the temperature quickly giving way to exhilaration. In the background, the boys erupted into cheers and hollers, their admiration for your audacious leap resonating in the crisp evening air like a chorus of approval.

Meanwhile, at the shore, Mattheo stood half-stunned, his eyes widening in surprise before that sly smirk slowly crept back onto his face. He watched you with a mix of amusement and something else, something that look almost like an undeniable respect for your audacity. His fingers absently toyed with his cigarette as he observed your fearless actions, his usual stoic demeanor momentarily shattered by your bold act.

From the water, you observed the boys exchanging glances, their smirks hinting at a shared understanding that transcended words. With an unspoken agreement, they shrugged in unison, a collective "fuck it" echoing through the air. One by one, they rose to their feet, shedding their uniforms with carefree abandon until they stood just as exposed as you were. Their toned bodies glistened under the evening sky, the moonlight filtering through the clouds, casting a silvery glow upon their skin.

With lively laughter echoing through the night air, the boys sprinted toward you, their infectious excitement palpable even from a distance. They effortlessly brushed past Mattheo, who stood frozen in place, his expression a mosaic of shock and amusement, his eyes tracking each of his friends as they leaped into the water alongside you. As the cold water embraced them, the boys couldn't help but groan in unison, their playful complaints filling the air.

"Bloody hell, it's freezing..." Reggie exclaimed, eliciting chuckles from the others. “How the fuck did I think this was a good idea…”

Amidst the banter, they turned their attention to you, their expressions a blend of awe and admiration.

"You've definitely surprised us, little bird," Theodore teased, his tone laced with genuine respect. "Making this look so easy, aren't you?"

Malfoy's voice echoed with a mix of amusement and challenge as he shouted across the water to Mattheo.

"Riddle, don't be a killjoy," he taunted, a playful glint in his eyes. "I know you can't resist a good challenge...you're really going to let little raven here outshine you like this?”

The words hung in the air, a tempting dare that Mattheo couldn't ignore. He stood at the water's edge, his expression a mixture of hesitation and a playful grumbling--clearly debating whether to join the revelry or stay put. You grinned as you watched, his face sporting a resigned yet amused expression, as he finally succumbed, muttering under his breath as he peeled off his uniform with deliberate slowness.

"You guys are bloody mad," he grumbled as he folded his clothes neatly on the shore, his movements deliberate and slightly begrudging. "If we catch hypothermia, Raven, I'm blaming you."

Finally, with a sarcastic salute and a roll of his eyes, he took a deep breath and dove into the water, his entry marked by a splash that mirrored the energy and excitement of the night, everyone erupting into laughter at his little display. Mattheo waded over, his playful irritation evident in the way he shot you a mock glare before unleashing a playful splash, water droplets scattering in all directions.

"Mattheo!" You squealed, wiping the water from your face. "You bloody arse!"

His eyes twinkled with mischief, and he couldn't help but smirk as you retaliated, sending a splash of water right back at him. The tension from earlier had transformed into a playful energy, the group now engaged in a water fight, laughter filling the air as splashes and giggles and squeals intermingled.

Before you knew it, everyone was caught up in the spirited frenzy, water splashing in every direction as the boys chased each other, their playful shouts and laughter blending harmoniously. Mattheo, who had initially been the reluctant participant, seemed to revel in the chaos, his eyes sparkling with amusement as he retaliated with gusto, no longer holding back.

As the water fight intensified, you noticed Mattheo momentarily distracted, his attention diverted by the antics of the other boys. Seizing the opportunity, you discreetly gathered a handful of mud from the lakebed, forming it into a small, compact ball. With careful precision, you approached him from behind, your steps silent in the water, and with a swift motion, you lobbed the mud ball, aiming for Mattheo's shoulder.

The ball hit its mark perfectly, leaving a satisfying splatter of mud on his skin, the boys erupting into laughter, thoroughly entertained by your clever move. However, turning around, Mattheo's eyes widened in exaggerated shock, his voice tinged with playful hurt.

"Did you just fucking ambush me? In front of my own men?" he exclaimed, his tone laced with feigned betrayal as he theatrically wiped the mud off his skin. “You’re real fucking bold, aren’t you, Raven?”

You snickered, grinning at the fact you’d caught him off guard like that. “You know what they say…never drop your guard, Mattheo…”

A mischievous glint sparked in his eyes as he casually glanced over your shoulder, spotting Theodore wading in the water behind you and Malfoy standing just a bit to your side. A subtle shift occurred in Mattheo's demeanor, a silent understanding passing between him, Theodore, and Malfoy. Their eyes exchanged a knowing look, a shared sense of mischief darkening their expressions. Mattheo's voice, once filled with mock hurt, now dripped with wicked amusement as he issued his command.

"Grab her, boys," he ordered, his voice taking on a sinister edge, setting the stage for the impeding revenge. "Time to show the little bird what happens when you mess with a bunch of venomous snakes."

Excitement surged through your veins, a thrilling concoction of adrenaline and laughter, as you attempted to evade their grasp. Your heart raced, the pounding in your chest echoing the playful chaos around you. Despite your best efforts, Theodore's fingers wrapped firmly around your arm, and Malfoy's grip held your other, their strength ensuring your playful struggles were in vain.

“Come on, Mattheo!” You squirmed and giggled, a delightful blend of resistance and amusement, as you found yourself caught in their playful trap. “I’m sorry, please…”

Mattheo, his confidence soaring now that you were being successfully restrained, seized a hefty clump of mud, his fingers sinking into its cool, squishy texture. As he spun back around, his eyes locked onto yours, and with deliberate measured steps, he closed the distance between you, his movements exuding a cocky swagger that only intensified your anxiety.

"Any last words, Raven?" he taunted, his voice dripping with playful malice, the echoes of your impending fate resonating in the air like a looming storm. "If you wish to pathetically apologize for that ignorant display, now is the time to do so."

"Mattheo, please!" Desperation and regret flooded your voice, your pleas tumbling out in a desperate rush, mingling with the tension that hung heavy in the air. "I'm so sorry, please don't--I didn't mean to-"

But Mattheo merely shook his head, a triumphant smirk curving his lips, dismissing your words with a casual flick of his hand.

"Actually, just decided it's too late for ass-kissing now, princess," he sneered, his words cutting through the air like a sharp blade. "Brace yourself."

With a swift motion, he hurled the mud at you, the clump splattering against your chest. Laughter erupted from the boys, their camaraderie deepening in the chaos of the moment. And you, caught in their playful trap, couldn't help but join in the laughter, realizing that the evening had taken an unexpected turn, transforming into a memorable, joyous escapade under the moonlit sky.

As the boys finally released their grip, laughter still lingering in the air, Mattheo met your eyes, his gaze dipping over your mud-splattered form with a mix of amusement and something else you couldn't quite decipher.

Grumbling, you couldn't resist a playful jab, "You're such an ass."

His chuckle transformed into a self-assured grin, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Guilty as charged," he admitted, his voice teasing. "But you have to admit, it was worth it for that look on your face."

You let out a reluctant chuckle, realizing the absurdity of the situation. "Fine, you win this round," you conceded, unable to suppress a smile. "But don't get too comfortable; next time I'm bringing everything I got."

"I'm counting on it," Mattheo replied with a grin, a spark of anticipation in his eyes, acknowledging the challenge you had just thrown his way. “Wouldn’t be normal for you if you didn’t.”

After a little bit longer, the group of you finally emerged from the water, the stars twinkling overhead like diamonds scattered across the night sky. Laughter and playful groans of annoyance filled the air as you all struggled to peel your clothes back on, the urgency to get back to the castle evident in the chilly breeze that swept through the night.

With clothes clinging damply to your skin, you all made your way back, sharing stories and laughter along the path. The atmosphere was light, the shared escapade having created a bond among you, making the cold night feel a little warmer. As you approached the castle, a sense of accomplishment and newfound friendship enveloped the group, and you couldn't help but feel a thrill at the unexpected turn the night had taken, leaving you with a memory of an exhilarating adventure under the starlit sky.

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Chapter 23->

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killerlookz · 3 months ago

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No Going Back | Joost Klein

this is *technically* a prequel to this fic (heartbeat) but should be read after!!!!! as the "lore" is explained in that fic.

description: joost klein x f! reader- after getting into a new relationship, you had decided it was high time to cut off your ex-with-benefits, joost, but an encounter at a mutual friend's birthday party leaves you wondering if it's going to be easier said than done.

content: 18+ explicit smut, MDNI, RPF dry humping, unprotected PiV/creampie, slight overstim(?), cheating, toxic relationships, angst, some fluff, hurt/comfort... probably like way too much comfort, smoking/alcohol, drug ment. but as a metaphor.

THIS WORK CONTAINS RPF, AND HAS BEEN TAGGED APPROPRIATELY. PLEASE DO NOT CONTINUE IF THAT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE, BLOCK ME, AND BLOCK THE RPF TAG-

DO NOT SHARE MY WORK EITHER IN ITS ENTIRETY OR AS SCREENSHOTS ON OTHER SOCIAL MEDIAS,AGAIN I URGE YOU TO BLOCK ME AND THE RPF TAG INSTEAD OF EXPOSING THIS WORK TO A LARGER AUDIENCE THAT DID NOT ASK TO SEE IT.

THIS FIC IS ALSO SOLELY TAGGED IN THE X READER TAG, MEANING IF YOU'RE HERE YOU SEARCHED FOR IT... PLEASE CONSUME MEDIA RESPONSIBLY. (keep this in mind if you decide not to heed my warnings and continue reading or complain about it elsewhere)

word count: 10,728

fic soundtrack: Watercolor Eyes- Lana Del Rey, Blood on My Hands- The Sundays, Show Me the Real You- Moodring

"Now I find that I'm thigh deep, too young for the worst of my mind. You whisper behind me, "If I may make so bold". Call it young and wild, but I ran a mile in a minute... and there's no going back"

You should stop staring.

You're sure by now it's obvious, you're sure by now Joost can feel your eyes burning to him from where you sit directly across from him. The conversations around you are little distraction from your watchful gaze. Not even the feeling of your boyfriend, Michael's hand moving to rest on your thigh can pull you out of your trance.

Joost laughs at a joke Apson tells, one that you hadn't bothered to pay attention too. Instead your focus is fixated on the way Joost's face lights up at as his head tilts back slightly, amused by his friend's sense of humor. The dimples in his cheeks now prominent as his mouth opens, lips curling up into a wide grin. All the noise that surrounds you in the crowded restaurant is dampened by the sound of his laughter, a sweet music to your ears.

Joost's eyes meeting yours as his laughter subsides is finally enough to rip you from your stares. With a few quick blinks you're somewhat back to reality, tunnel vision disappearing. You pull your lips into a tight smile, unsure of if you should be embarrassed by your actions. Though embarrassment is hardly on your mind as Joost smiles back at you, which was more than you could hope for given the situation at hand.

It was probably naive of you to assume that getting into a new relationship would make things less complicated between you and Joost. But in your head, initially, it made perfect sense, a new relationship meant you could push your feelings into something different, perhaps finally get over what was supposed to be your ex-boyfriend.

But seeing Joost now, for the first time since you and Michael had started going out, you realize things aren't going to be so easy, that Joost, and the relationship that the two of you had wasn't something that you could just "get over". Especially not when instead of trying to move on after the breakup, the two of you would remain intimate. While intimacy now lacked the romance of your past relationship, your feelings lingered, unable to separate the Joost in front of you now from the Joost who was once your boyfriend.

A quick glance down at your lap leads you to finally notice Michael's hand on your thigh, the reminder that he in fact was the one here who was your boyfriend making your stomach sink. The uncomfortableness of the night was becoming too much to bare. Damn Julie for wanting to meet your new boyfriend on today of all days, and damn yourself for not being able to say no to your best friend on her birthday.

"So," You hear Julie start, looking toward you and Michael, "Michael, y/n tells me you're not from here, have you been in there Netherlands long?"

Michael furrows his eyebrows, you guess he's attempting to count the months since he left the states,

"Almost 8 months." He replies, his voice is flat, uninterested.

"That's nice," Julie smiles, "Do you plan on staying here for awhile?"

"Depends," He shrugs, his hand falling from your lap, a small wave of relief rushing over you. "I go wherever the money takes me. And right not the money is here."

"Well I guess that's not bad advice to live your life by," Julie nods, but she seems unsure of herself, Michael had that affect on people, making people question whether or not you were saying the right thing. You knew that well.

"It's the only advice to live your life by."

"Nah, nah, man," Joost shakes his head, "There's more to life than money. Where's the passion?"

You bite the inside of your cheeks, eyes flicking toward Michael. Michael chuckles, though, just like in everything else, there's a clear condescension in the way he laughs, making it more-so of a scoff.

"Don't be ridiculous," His dry, faux laughter continues, perhaps a little too long, "You're young, you'll find out soon enough. You don't really think you're going to be doing the music thing forever, do you? "

"Michael!" You place a firm hand down on the table, the silverware clattering slightly from the vibration of your hand.

"No, it's okay," Joost laughs uncomfortably. "Appreciate the honesty, Michael." An apparent bitterness in his voice, "But can't say I'll take your advice."

"Eh," Michael shrugs, "You say that now-"

"Alright!" Apson exclaims from beside Joost, clapping his hands together once, commanding the table's attention, "How about dessert?"

The tension is briefly lifted from the table as everyone looks at each other, nodding contently in agreement that it was, indeed, time for dessert.

You're nursing your second espresso martini while the table finishes up their dessert, combined with the glass-and-a-half of wine you had with dinner, you're certainly feeling, less tense.

You listen less than intently as Julie talks about a recent promotion that she got at work. Not that you're not proud enough of your friend to care, but you're not fully there. You inch your leg forward slightly, nudging your ankle against Joost's leg. You pretend not to notice as his gaze flicks towards you, instead you train your eyes on the plate on the table in front of you, moving around what remains of the food with your fork.

Julie is still explaining her new position as you bring your leg up higher, the top of your foot sliding up the fabric of Joost's pants until you reach his knee.

He's staring at you now, just as you had been staring at him before, you can feel it. Still attempting to keep an air of nonchalant you turn to try to focus on Julie's speech. At the same time you move forward slightly in your seat, extending your leg fully under the table, you press the ball of your foot to the inside of Joost's thigh.

You notice in your peripheral how his posture straightens as he sucks in a breath. You smile slightly, a light puff of air leaving your nostrils at his stifled reaction to your teasing.

Truthfully you weren't quite sure what you were doing, you full well had made plans to stay the night with Michael tonight. After all, your apartment was much farther away than his from the restaurant Julie had chosen for her birthday dinner, it was just much easier to stay with Michael and catch a train back home tomorrow during the daytime rather than traveling by yourself at night.

Despite your other plans, you press the point of your shoe a little higher up on Joost's thigh now, continuing to tease him. You have no real end goal in mind, and you really should be consumed with guilt at even thinking of touching a man other than Michael like this, but the alcohol has mellowed your inhibitions, and there's a certain thrill in doing something that you know you shouldn't be.

You feel Joost's hand against your leg, his fingers wrapping around your ankle, thumb gently caressing your skin. You fight back a smirk, after over a month of not seeing Joost you were ready to melt under his simple touch. His fingers tighten, then loosen around you again, and he continuously repeats the pattern, gently massaging you.

You're dangerously close to poking Joost's crotch with the tip of your shoe when Michael throws an arm around you, unexpectedly. You're startled, kicking forward slightly, forcing Joost's hand from your ankle. Joost presses a fist to his mouth, clearing his throat before pushing his seat back, causing your heel to fall to the ground.

"I need a cigarette," He mumbles as he stands up from the table, quickly hurrying away.

His abrupt exit halts the conversation, the table going silent with confusion.

"Um," You start, "I-uh- think I'm gonna have a smoke too." You nod quickly, untangling yourself from Michael's grasp, standing up, shuffling awkwardly from the table.

You quickly find your way outside, the air is brisk, a chill breeze blowing past you immediately making you realize you should have brought a jacket. Joost isn't too far out the door, an unlit cigarette pressed to his lips

"Can I get a cigarette?" Your heels clack loudly against the concrete as you step out onto the sidewalk.

Joost quickly whips his head toward you, ripping the cigarette from his mouth. Joost shakes his head, almost like he's in disbelief,

"What are you doing?" He's genuinely confused, a hint of interrogation in his voice.

You're taken aback by the force at which he asks, a tone he hadn't taken with you in awhile.

"Asking... for a cigarette?" It comes out more like a question, your eyebrows furrowed, words slow in equal confusion.

"No," He shakes his head again, "I mean in there- what was that about?" He raises a hand, vaguely gesturing towards the restaurant, "You have a boyfriend, remember?"

You do remember, unfortunately.

"So, I can't have a cigarette?" You ask slowly, your acute intoxication slipping its way into your words.

"Whatever," He scoffs, holding out his hand to give you the cigarette he was just about to smoke.

"Why are you being so weird?" You giggle, taking the cigarette from him, "Oh," You smile, "Can I get a light?"

"Jesus christ," His annoyance with the way you're playing dumb is apparent, and you know you won't be able to keep up the act forever. You bite the inside of your cheeks as he reaches his hands into his pockets, fumbling around for a lighter. It was naive of you to pretend like Joost wouldn't want to address the obvious elephant in the room.

You place the cigarette between your lips as Joost pulls out the lighter, his hand stretched out to pass it to you. You say nothing, only stick out your jaw slightly, the cigarette flicking upward. You want him to light it for you.

"You're evil," He clenches his jaw, his jaw line sharpening, cheeks hollowing, making the angular bones in his face more apparent. Still, Joost steps forward sightly, flicking the lighter against his thumb. A small orange flame erupts, and Joost lightly passes it to the end of your cigarette, holding the lighter there just long enough for it to light.

You inhale as Joost pulls the lighter back, you bring your hand to your lips, barely holding the cigarette between two fingers. The smoke fills your lungs, invading your senses as the warmth pricks at your throat.

You exhale, "That's not very nice." You frown.

"C'mon," Joost's expression suddenly changes, tilting his head to the side, he seems defeated, "Seriously, what are you doing?"

"I-" You think for a moment, "I don't know." You're equally as defeated now, the threat of having to cut things off with Joost is imminent. And it's what you should be doing, you should be giving Michael your undivided attention, its high time you should be leaving Joost in your past, where you know he belongs.

Your lips tremble as you push the cigarette back to them, the alcohol that once stripped you of your inhibitions suddenly making them so much worse.

"I don't understand you," Joost mutters, "You break up with me, you break my heart, decide you still want to fuck me for a year, then you run off, get a boyfriend, don't talk to me for over a month, and now all a sudden you're touching all over me under the dinner table like I'm the one you're going home with tonight, like you didn't break up with me a year ago."

It does sound bad when he puts it that way, your heart plummeting to your stomach under the heavy weight of guilt. You really fucked up this time.

"Joost-" You're cut off as the cigarette accidentally falls from your shaking hands. Shit. You force your gaze down to the pavement, unable to look at Joost as you crush the barely smoked cigarette under your shoe. "It's not that simple," Your voice is soft, barely returning the same confrontational tone he had given you.

Of course it isn't that simple. Why had he been acting like it was? As if you had broken up with him as a result of love lost between the two of you? As if you had just broken his heart for the fun of it? He of all people should know how hard it was for you to break up with him, what should have been a simple process turning into an hours long affair of you crying in each others arms, lamenting in how much you still loved him, and him desperately apologizing for not having given you everything you deserved.

"And you should know damn well how hard I tried to save our relationship, why else do you think I keep coming back?"

"Obviously you didn't try hard enough, or you wouldn't be here with another guy."

A strained laugh escapes your throat, amused by how absurd Joost is being now,

"No, Joost, you're the one who didn't try." You cross your arms across your chest, realizing just how cold the night air was, goosebumps littering your arms, "That's why we broke up in the first place, remember?" A year later and you still cannot escape the emotions of that night. You can't help but wonder if you'll ever be free from this feeling, or if you even want to be.

Emotions run high, and you can feel the tears brewing behind your eyes, threatening to spill with any sudden movement you make.

You blink once and a singular tear slips from your lash line, slowly caressing the curve of your cheek. Joost's expression suddenly changes, eyes widening, lips parting like he's about to speak.

"Hey, pumpkin," You hear a familiar voice call from behind you, the pet name makes your stomach churn, overwhelming you with such disgust you temporarily forget Joost in front of you. A hand against your back accompanies the voice, finally making you turn to face it.

With a sniffle and a few blinks you push back the emotions, a smile pulling at your lips with a chipper voice to match,

"Michael," You beam, "What's up?"

"I am so sorry honey, but I just remembered I have an early meeting tomorrow," His voice is barely apologetic, and you don't quite understand what he's getting at.

"Oh-uh-okay?" You furrow your eyebrows, unsure of why he's apologizing for having a meeting.

"So I'm going to head out now, I already left some money for the bill, I'll talk to you in the morning, okay?"

"But I thought I was going to come to your-" Michael doesn't let you finish your sentence,

"I know, pumpkin, I'm sorry, I just think it's best you don't stay over tonight." He nods.

"Oh, but it's dark I don't want to-" You're cut off again,

"Don't be ridiculous sweetheart, you'll be okay, see you soon, mkay?" He smiles.

You're hesitant to even speak again, knowing if you say too much he'll probably cut you off again. "Sure," You pull your lips into a tight smile, nodding in an attempt to hide your disappointment. There go your plans for the night. "Right, see you later." You try your best to bare a grin.

"Okay, bye pumpkin," He leans in for a quick kiss on the cheek before hurrying off, on his walk away he throws up a hand towards Joost, "Nice to meet you, buddy."

"Yeah, you too." Joost speaks slowly, though you're sure Michael doesn't even hear with the speed at which he walks away. You flick your eyes to Joost for a brief moment before immediately looking away, opting to no longer brave the cold and head straight for the restaurant bathroom.

You rush past the table your friends still sit at in the dimly lit restaurant, making your way to the back of the building. You fling over the bathroom door, a small relief washing over you when you realize it's only a singular stall before you lock the door behind you.

You place your hand above your eyes, pressing tightly as the tears begin to flow, all of your stupid decisions slapping you in the face at once. Unfortunately, your actions have consequences; and here you were, in a restaurant bathroom forced to bear the brunt of all of them now.

You had broken up with Joost to begin with, in part, to stop the arguing between you two. But it seemed like you could never help yourself, desperate to get Joost to see your side of things, a subconscious urge to finally get him to change, to get him to be the perfect boyfriend you had always dreamed him to be. You can only push so much, tonight being a sign that you were reaching the point where you can't push much more without things breaking.

You lift your hands from your eyes, and lean forward against the bathroom counter. Your hands press into the edge of the marble that surrounds the sink as you stretch your body towards the mirror, inspecting your face.

You're stained with the distinct mark of sadness, eyes now red, your face slightly puffy. You huff, allowing yourself, for just a moment to be grateful you had put on waterproof eyeliner tonight, saving yourself from a potentially greater mess on your face.

You watch yourself in the mirror intently, the glass reflecting back to you how truly pathetic you feel now. But you'll have enough time to feel pathetic once you get home, now, tonight, was about Julie, and it would be selfish of you to spend the rest of the night hiding out, smothering yourself in your own despair instead of celebrating your best friend.

You blink away the remaining tears in your eyes and gently press your fingers to your cheeks to rid the droplets from your skin. The fact you had been crying was apparent, but the restaurant was dark, and you hoped that the low mood lighting would be enough to hide that fact.

With a few deep breaths you're ready to unlock the bathroom door. The metal handle is cool under your shaky touch, you turn it, pulling back the door.

You jump back slightly when you realize there's someone standing behind it, the figure startling you, making your whole body jolt.

"Oh," You inhale sharply, recognizing the person behind the door as Joost, "Sorry, were you waiting for the bathroom? I'm gonna head back-" You speak quickly, head down anxious to get out of his way.

"Nee, I-" He grabs your arm lightly, not allowing you to leave the small corridor the bathroom was located in. He's about to say something else- but you look up at him, and his tone changes, "Oh," He sighs, not releasing his grip on your arm, in fact, only using it to bring you closer to him, "Tell me you weren't crying in there."

You assume he finally got to have that cigarette he wanted after he had given the first one to you, the familiar lingering scent of smoke and his cologne overwhelming your senses as he pulls you closer. The smell, a reminder of his proximity, should upset you, knowing you probably won't be able to enjoy it much longer, but your instincts kick in, and it's nothing but comfort.

"Joost," You start, placing your hand over where his grips your arm, ready to peel it off of you, "I'm okay, I really should be getting back to Julie."

"No, really," He tilts his head, "Tell me." You loosen your hand from where it rests on his, suddenly no longer so willing to part with his touch.

"I'm okay." Your voice a whisper now.

Joost stares down at you, and even now, you can't help but stare back at him. His pretty blue eyes are deep with emotion.

"I'm always doing that, hm?" There's a certain disappointment in his voice, as he moves closer to you, pressing his free hand to your cheek, "Making you cry?"

He's not entirely wrong, but you'd hate to admit it, much less admitting it to his face.

"I know you don't mean to," Your voice is soft, apologetic, like you're sorry for even crying in the first place, "Don't worry about it."

"I worry about everything," He chuckles, a poor attempt at lightening the mood, but it earns a small smile from you, and that's really all he can hope for. "But I was um- thinking I'll take you home? Just, you know, take the train with you, and shit."

"Oh-uh-"

"You can say no." He's quick to speak, "But I heard what Michael said, and I don't really like thinking of you going home by yourself so late."

It's thoughtful, even if he did just almost tear your heart out. You think for a moment, though it's not really necessary to, you already have an answer.

"That would be nice," You nod, "I'd like that."

Joost swipes his thumb against your cheek while he nods back to you, his opposite hand moving from its spot on your arm to snake around your back. His touch only solidifies the cycle you had found yourself tangled in for far too long, you upsetting one another to a point you shouldn't be able to return from, only to fall back in each others arms.

You know you should ask Joost to let go, to just accept his offer to take you home and leave it at that, and not let things go any further. But you'd be a liar to say you didn't love the way it felt when he touched you, the way even after all this time the feeling of his skin against yours still gives you butterflies in your stomach.

The two of you stare at each other silently until you let out a small giggle, realizing how weird it was for you to be sharing such a moment right outside the bathroom.

"I think we should probably head back to the table."

By the time you leave dinner you had regained that slight alcoholic buzz that the emotions of before had taken from you, a smile pressed on your lips as you waved your final goodbyes to your friends.

You turn towards the direction you should be heading, "ugh" You groan, realizing the journey ahead of you, it'll be at least another 45 minutes until you get home.

Another brisk wind blows past you, the prospective 45 minutes ahead of you suddenly feeling so much longer once you realize you'll be shivering for most of it.

"Cold?" Joost chuckles, watching you fold your arms across your torso, attempting to provide yourself with some heat.

"A little," You mumble.

"Mmm, I'm sorry," Joost hums, "Here," He begins sliding the black Ed Hardy zip-up he had been wearing off of his shoulders, revealing he had been wearing nothing but a T-shirt under the hoodie.

You hadn't asked for the sweatshirt, though you still feel a little bad taking it from him when he stretches an arm toward you, handing off the bunched up fabric.

"Are you sure?" You ask, glancing between the hoodie in his hands, and him.

"Yeah, you need it more, at least I'm wearing pants." He smiles, seeming happy enough to let you wear his sweatshirt. He had a fair point anyway, with you having chosen to forego any tights under your skirt tonight.

You slip your arms through the thick fabric, its soft inside immediately enveloping you in at least a little warmth. Joost's own body heat still lingers slightly in the material, a feeling you attempt to savor even as it quickly dissipates.

You're grateful for the slight warmth Joost's sweatshirt provides you, but it's still not enough, still shivering by the time you're on the train back home.

"Still cold?" Joost asks, though it's apparent the way you're folded in on yourself, trying to provide yourself with some heat.

You just hum in response, jaw too tight to talk.

"Oh," Joost coos, "Poor baby," He laughs, "Come here." He throws an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his chest. Him calling you "baby" catches you off guard, though you're sure it's more mocking than it is meant to be romantic. Still, you don't dare to say anything about it.

"You're warm," You sigh as you rest your head on Joost's shoulder, face buried in his neck. His body gives off a good amount of heat, feeling more comfortable as his arms wrap around you.

You shouldn't enjoy this as much as you do, and no matter how cold you are you really shouldn't be doing this at all, not as long as Michael was in the picture. But the gentle smell of Joost's cologne is intoxicating, its familiar comfort enough to enjoy the moment without a care in the world.

You close your eyes and snuggle closer into Joost, wrapping your arms around his torso, allowing yourself to relax entirely in his embrace. You can feel his pulse gently thumping from your position against his neck, and truthfully you'd love nothing more than to press soft kisses to the pumping vein and stain his skin with your lipstick. You hate the way your mind betrays your morality, allowing yourself to get lost in these fantasies that you know are no good for you.

"Don't fall asleep on me here," Joost chuckles, lightly caressing your back.

"No promises," You mumble, feeling the vibrations of your speech against his neck.

Luckily for Joost, you hadn't fallen asleep, not leaving him with the burden of waking you up once you had arrived at your stop and dragging you home half asleep.

Instead, by the time you're unlocking your apartment door, you're wide awake, too overwhelmed with emotions to be anywhere near tired. As you turn the doorknob to enter your apartment you look back toward Joost who's standing behind you, looking a little unsure of himself.

"Do you want to come in?" You smile, "You can stay the night, it's kind of late." As soon as the offer leaves your tongue you know there's no going back now.

"You don't mind?" He asks.

"Of course not." The entrance to your apartment now stands as a door to probable bad decisions, ready to be opened. You push open the door, revealing your darkened living room.

Your hit with a wave of nerves as you step over the threshold and into the apartment, anxious for what the night has in store for you. The door lingers open for a few moments longer as Joost enters behind you.

You flick on some lights, illuminating the space around you in a pale yellow glow.

"I think I'm going to get ready for bed," You say lowly, still not tired, but you're unsure of what else to do, "Um," You start to speak again, "I won't make you sleep on the couch, I don't mind sharing the bed." You turn to Joost, shrugging. You secretly hope Joost doesn't decide to take the couch anyway.

"Cool," He grins, eyes scanning the apartment awkwardly.

"Good," Your voice just above a whisper, "Uh, you can make yourself comfortable then, I'll be back." You nod before heading to the bathroom, ready to get your makeup off of your face.

You unzip Joost's hoodie, hooking it on the back of the bathroom door, not wanting to get it wet while washing your face. You head toward the sink, turning the faucet, staring at yourself in the mirror while you wait for the water to warm up.

You sigh, using this alone time to think long and hard about how you want this night to end. Off the top of your head, you know how you want the night to end, the man you were once certain was the love of your life was most definitely making himself comfortable in your bed, it seemed like a no brainer of how you want this night to end.

But it's not so easy to throw away your morality completely, though maybe you've already made your bed by asking Joost to stay the night. Michael would be mad regardless, perhaps there's no point of turning back now. You clench your jaw, deciding you're willing to go however far Joost is.

Another fifteen minutes in the bathroom and you're stepping out feeling a little better, nerves quelled by your extensive nightly self-care routine. You breathe in as you open the bathroom door, your mouth tingling from your minty toothpaste as you take the air in. You exhale as you exit the bathroom, walking towards your bedroom.

The door is open, the room dimly lit by the glow of your TV, and the light that shines in from your balcony window.

Joost lays comfortably in your bed, his lower body resting beneath your thick comforter, it's like he belongs there, resting so casually as if it was his bed too.

"You can turn on a light you know," You smile, your voice pulling him away from whatever he had been watching on TV.

"Oh," He sits up from his position against the pillows, "I wasn't sure if you wanted it on." He rolls over slightly, stretching an arm out to turn on the lamp that sits on your bedside table.

With a faint click your room is cast in a soft orange hue. You take a look around the now illuminated space, realizing you had forgotten to straighten up before you left for the night, some clothes scattered around the floor from your frantic search for the "perfect" outfit.

"Sorry about the mess," An unnecessary shyness in your voice, as Joost had certainly seen your room in worse states.

"I didn't even notice," He chuckles, "Guess I added to it," His head cocking towards your dresser, the pants he had been wearing messily folded with the belt still in the loops sitting on top of it.

You don't respond, instead bending down to unbuckle the ankle strap on your shoes before sliding them off. There's a relief as your feet hit the floor, no longer stuck in the forced uncomfortable position from your high heels. You place your shoes off to the side and close your bedroom door behind you as you step further in.

You walk towards you dresser, thumbing through a mountain of clothes to find something to sleep in, pulling out a T-shirt that had no doubt belonged to Joost some time ago.

"You know, your boyfriend's kind of a dick." Joost speaks unprompted.

"What?" You laugh, shutting one of the drawers to the dresser before spinning around to face Joost.

"Sorry," He furrows his eyebrows, "That was uncalled for. I was- just thinking about tonight, what he said, about the music stuff- and leaving you at the restaurant."

"Oh," You frown, he's not wrong, but you should probably defend your boyfriend, "Michael is just-" Nothing comes to mind, you cannot muster any sort of actual defense, "Yeah, I guess he can be sort of a dick." Your tone becomes dejected, an unfortunate realization that maybe, once again, you had't picked the right man.

"Wow," Joost seems amused, "Never seen you so quick to admit I'm right."

"Shut up," You roll your eyes, playfully scolding him, "Anyways, it's his loss really that he didn't take me home tonight." You pause, taking the intrigue on Joost's face, the way his eyes widen and his eyebrows raise, eager to listen to your complaints, as he for once, was finally not the subject of them. "Bought some cute new lingerie, which I wore tonight, and now he doesn't get to see it." A careful smirk pulling at your lips, "What a waste."

Joost shakes his head, "Poor guy." despite his words it's clear he doesn't feel sorry for him, though, why would he, "But I mean-" He hesitates for a moment, "It doesn't have to be a waste."

"No?" You can feel your face grow hot, "What are you suggesting? That I go through the effort of posing for some pictures for him so he doesn't have to miss out?" You know he's not, but you need the confirmation.

Joost squints his eyes, shaking his head,

"I was actually, thinking of a different audience entirely."

"And that audience being..."

"Me."

"You?" The pair of you speak simultaneously

"Hmm," You pretend to think, as if this wasn't what you were hoping he'd say, "I'm sure you'll appreciate it more than he would anyway."

Joost nods fervently, as your hands fly to the hem of your shirt, quickly lifting the fabric over your head exposing the promised cute new bra. It was simple, black, lace, with a bow between the two cups, but you found it cute regardless, plus, it made your boobs look amazing.

A small smile on your face as you flick your eyes to Joost, who's now sitting up a little higher on the pillows, clearly amused, waiting on edge to see the matching panties. You continue to stare him down as you very slowly pull down the zipper on the back of your skirt.

"Need any help with that?" Joost raises an eyebrow, the question is purely rhetorical but you know he'd love nothing more right now than to get his hands on you.

"No, I think I got it." The zipper reaches as far down as it can go, the skirt loosening at your waist. You do the extra work to pull it over your thighs before letting it slip down past your knees to your ankles, kicking it off to the side.

The panties are just as simple as the bra, a plain black thong with a lacy trim, with a bow in the middle of the waist band to match.

Joost squints, "Oh, you know my eyesight is bad, come closer."

A slight giggle leaves your mouth as you scurry over to the bed in excited anticipation. You stand over where Joost lies now, biting down on your tongue so hard you're sure you'll draw blood. Joost's eager eyes swallow you whole, taking in every inch of your newly exposed body.

Joost sits up all the way, the comforter that once covered him slipping down his chest and into his lap. He swings his legs over so they hang off the bed before reaching out a hand, gently placing it on your hip,

"Oh, schatje," He mumbles, his thumb moving back and forth, gently caressing your skin. Every time Joost touched you like this it felt like the first, your muscles tensing under him. He slides his hand up your torso so it rests on your waist, groping your lightly. "Je bent zo mooi," (you look so beautiful) His eyes find yours, making sharp, and direct eye contact with each other as a smirk forms upon his lips, "I'll almost feel bad taking all this off of you."

"Taking it off me?" You gasp, pretending to be offended by his insinuation.

"No?" He asks, raising an eyebrow like it's a challenge.

"Yeah- I mean, It's kind of unfair, y'know, talking about getting me undressed when you're still pretty clothed."

"What?" He teases, "You want me naked, schatje?"

"Mmm," You purse your lips, "I didn't say that, just if I'm gonna stand here in nothing but my underwear, maybe you should have to take something off too."

"You don't drive much of a hard bargain." Joost smiles, his hands already eager to tear off his shirt, "But that's probably because I'd do anything for you."

"Anything?" You bite your lip, deep down you wish it was as true as he says it is now, just about anything seems like a more apt estimation. He'd do anything but be emotionally present when you need it, anything but listen to you when you say there's a problem in your relationship, anything but engage in healthy communication.

But now's not the time to worry about that, to worry about the past, or the future, not when Joost is undressing in front of you, pulling his black T-shirt over his head, messing up his already unruly blond hair.

The second his flesh is exposed you're already aching to put your hands all over him, yearning for the feeling of his soft skin below your hands.

"Better," The ends of your mouth pull upward in content,

"Don't think so," Joost pouts before looking down at himself, "I don't think we're even, I think... my chest is pretty exposed and you're still very... covered." He looks back at you, waving his hand in a circle as he gestures towards your bra.

"You're ridiculous," You let out a small laugh at the way Joost plays your game.

"No, just being fair," He grabs your hand, pulling you closer so you stand between his legs, "Like you say." He leans forward, placing a kiss just below your belly button, his hands moving to settle on the backs of your thighs, keeping you close to him.

"Right," You smile, "Fair." Your hands crawling up your sides, reading towards your back, quickly fumbling around with the clasp of your bra before unhooking it.

Joost looks up from where he's pressed against your stomach, watching with intent as you slide the straps down your arms, and eventually discarding the bra all together.

You're not as ashamed as you should be, standing in front of Joost like this, in fact, you rather like the way he drinks you in, wordlessly admiring you, devouring your frame with hungry eyes.

"C'mon," Joost pulls away from you, his hands leaving your thighs, "Lay down with me?"

You nod, stepping back from where you stand between his legs so he can crawl back into your bed, shifting to the middle of the mattress. You follow shortly after, crawling on top of the blankets, before making your way to Joost.

Immediately you're straddling him, your knees on either side of him as you sit on his thighs. You try to keep your eyes trained on his face, and pretend not to notice the rest of him, or the way he's beginning to strain against the tight confines of his underwear. But you'd be lying if you said you weren't feeling similarly to him now, a familiar pulsing in your inner thighs, thumping heavily, muscles tight.

"Here," Joost motions with both hands for you to come closer, to rest your bare chest against his. It's an offer you'd be stupid not to accept, leaning forward, feeling the warmth of his skin against yours. As you lean down, Joost's lips meet yours, enveloping you in a kiss so soft if it hadn't been coming from your ex, it would be romantic.

Or perhaps that fact had made it more romantic. Regardless you were lost in the way his lips worked slowly against yours, the two of you in perfect rhythm. You straighten your legs so you're laying completely on top of him. Joost's hands move to your waist, helping to position your hips. Your mouth opens slightly, gasping against Joost's lips once you finally feel him put you in the perfect position, the growing bulge in his underwear now right under your crotch.

"Right there," He mumbles before his mouth melts back into yours. You push your hips forward finding some friction between yours and Joost's bodies. You're pathetic, pathetic for him, but it's hard to care, not when he slips his tongue past your lips, hungrily exploring your mouth. Not when he holds your hips so tight his fingertips are sure to bruise your flesh, pulling you down towards him, letting you feel the full extent to how badly he needed you.

You roll your hips forward, your clit grinding against, what you assume is the tip of his now hardened cock. Joost groans into the kiss, clearly enjoying the sensation. By now the two of you would usually be scrambling to get each other naked, but the extra clothing, and the lack of penetration almost makes things more intimate. Joost turns his head for a moment to pull back from the kiss,

"Tell me if we start to take things too far." His voice is strained, and the slow caress of his thumb against your lower back ensuring how genuine each word he spoke was, "Promise?"

"Promise," You whisper.

Truthfully you were long past the point of "taking things too far", having already crossed a line when you decided to tease him under the table at the restaurant. This, now, was borderline unacceptable, fuck that, it was unacceptable- but neither of you seem to mind, Joost almost eager to be a "home wrecker", and you denying that you and Michael even had a home to wreck.

Despite how immoral this may be, you need more of Joost, the death grip he has on your hips has you moving far too slow for your complete and utter desperation.

"Faster," You sigh against Joost's lips, hoping he'll listen rather than using your request to tease you. Joost's hands move just below your ass, his blunt fingernails ripping into the backs of your thighs, spreading them further apart. With his new position you're able move more on your own, able to stimulate yourself more. Pushing your knees into the soft mattress, you begin to rut your hips faster, increasing the friction between you.

As hard as you try to keep a consistent pace, the burning desire in your core and the slick of your arousal make it almost impossible, unable to keep up with your own need.

"You like it like this?" Joost asks, almost breathless, a cockiness in his voice that tells you he already knows the answer.

"Mmhm," You hum lazily, letting your head drop from where you had been holding it up above Joost's, down to his shoulder. You're impossibly drunk off the way you feel, the way with each roll of your hips your clit grinds so perfectly against the length of Joost's cock. It's mind numbing how perfect you fit together, even stifled through your remaining clothes, you're filled with such pleasure.

You dig your fingers into the sides of Joost's arms, fingernails sure to leave little crescent moon shaped markings in his skin. You wish you could pull him closer, still feeling like there is a distance that needs to be closed between the two of you despite your position on top of him.

You clench your jaw, muscles tight at the way your body strains for him. Joost lets one hand climb up your thigh, palm now resting on the curve of you ass, before his fingernails return to your flesh, groping harshly, forcing you to grind harder against his cock. It's apparent that being away from each other for as short as a month was far too long.

You want to hold out for as long as possible, not wanting this feeling to fade, for it to be over in as quick as a few seconds as your orgasm rains over you- but its not so easy as the tightness builds between your thighs, and your movements become even sloppier than they were before.

You're a complete mess the way you whimper into the side of Joost's neck, only egged on by his obvious pulse thumping against your swollen lips.

Joost's own groans don't help holding you off from your impending climax, knowing how good this feels for him too, and that he's just as desperate for you as you are from him is just all too much for your brain to handle.

You know you're close when your legs start to tremble, and its not so easy to push yourself back and forth anymore,

"Tired already?" Joost teases, "Need me to help you?" He wraps two strong arms around your lower back, taking it upon himself to replicate your movements. Joost also thrusts his hips forward in time with you, only making your stimulation more intense.

"So good," The full breadth of you vocabulary seems to disappear, only able to slur together a few measly words to let Joost know how you were feeling, "Feels so good."

"I know it does," He sighs, "You close, schatje? Your legs are shaking."

"Very close," You screw your eyes tight, the hot simmering in your core about to turn over and reach its boiling point. Each and every one of your muscles are incredibly tight, bracing for your impending orgasm.

Joost holds you tighter upon hearing how close you were, determined to work you through your orgasm.

"Whenever you're ready," He encourages.

You could almost break a tooth with how tight your jaw is clenched, nothing but strained whines clawing their way out of your throat as you approach your climax.

The idea of cumming in your panties is a little embarrassing, but in the way that instead of making you want to crawl inside of your self in shame, it makes you only that much closer to finishing. Especially when combined with the filthiness of the fact you'll be ruining those panties over a different man than the one you bought them for. Joost had a habit of brining out the worst in you in the best ways, and now was no different.

"Joost," Your jaw finally unclenches in order for you to get one final word desperate out before your orgasm strikes you. A hot pang of electricity cracks throughout your entire body.

Joost's grip on you does not let up as you ride out your high, his voice nothing but a dull mumble of praises, "Ja, dat is het" (yeah that's it)

You continue to thrust against Joost until you're throbbing with overstimulation, gasping for air against Joost's neck.

"Is that all you got for me?" Joost asks, his words are lighthearted, not minding if you're too tired to continue for the night.

But you're not ready for the night to end, not so abruptly, just like that.

"Just," You inhale, your chest rising against Joost's, "Catching my breath." Exhale.

"Yeah," Joost laughs, high, and light- almost a giggle, "You were working pretty hard."

"Hmm," You hum, "You helped, a little." Acknowledging your orgasm was mainly due to your own work.

"I don't think that's enough," Joost pauses to place a kiss to the crown of your head, "Why don't you lay on your back so I can give you some real effort."

You peel yourself off of Joost's chest, bodies lightly sticky with sweat. You roll over, lightly thumping onto the mattress, landing on your back. Joost wastes no time in getting on top of you, perched on his hands and knees above you. A sight you had gotten used to by now, but it had never gotten less thrilling.

His unruly blonde locks spill over his forehead, some strands sticking against his skin with perspiration. His pupils are blown wide, looking like he's been rolling on molly, but his drug of choice tonight is you, your mere presence getting him higher than the finest pills or powder money could buy.

A lazy smirk draws across his swollen pink lips, a chuckle falling from them as they part,

"Don't laugh if I don't last too long," He jokes, bending his arms to lean forward and kiss your forehead, "You got me a little worked up."

"A little?"

"Very," He sighs in feigned defeat, "You drive me fucking crazy."

"Yeah, both in and out of the bedroom I'm sure." You grin, allowing yourself for just a moment to laugh at the ridiculousness of the antics you often pulled with Joost.

"Mhm," He nods, "But I probably deserve it."

"At least you're self aware, acceptance is the first step to recovery."

"Shut up," He laughs

"Make me," So cliche, You giggle.

It's a challenge Joost takes seriously, immediately catching your lips in another passionate kiss, rendering you unable to speak. You lift your arms, wrapping them around Joost's neck, pulling him down closer to you as you return his kiss.

He pulls away for a split instant, your arms falling to your side with a gentle thud.

"You're sure you want this?" His words are cautious, "We don't have to-"

"I wanna," You cut him off, "I want you." Emphasizing how badly it's him you want.

"In that case," He lifts himself from you, propped up on his knees as his hands reach for the waistband of his underwear. His fingers hook into the elastic, stretching it out slightly before pulling them down his thighs. You watch in anticipation as his cock springs free from the confines of the fabric. You shift your gaze between Joost's face and his dick, the tip a throbbing shade of red, leaky with pre-cum.

You curl your pointer finger towards you, beckoning for Joost to come closer as you prop yourself up on the pillows.

"How about we get these out of the way," Joost suggests, his hands finding their way into the elastic waistband of your panties. You nod, urging him to take them off, which he wastes no time doing.

As your panties come off you bend your legs, putting yourself on complete display for Joost. He grips the base of his cock in his palm, stroking up and down its shaft a few times, stopping at the tip momentarily to spread the clear pearl of precum that leaks from his slit around the head.

"Am I just supposed to stare while you jerk yourself off, or are you going to fuck me?" You tease.

"Patience is a virtue, schatje." He chastises, shaking his head back and forth.

"Fuck patience, I need you inside me." You whine, feeling your arousal growing once again at the anticipation of what's to come next.

"Fuck patience is right," He sighs, realizing what's in front of him.

Joost leans forward slowly to hover over you once more, his face close enough to you that the heat of his heavy breath is almost suffocating. You bite your lip, spreading your legs just a bit more, ready for him.

Joost's eyes trail down from your eyes to between your legs, ready to line himself up with your entrance, admiring every part of you along the way.

With the base of his cock held firmly in his hands, Joost sloppily pushes the tip through your soaked folds, collecting your arousal. You whine slightly, your whole body jerking as he passes your clit, still puffy and overstimulated from before.

Finally he lines himself up with your entrance, eyes flicking up towards you in search of a final nod of assurance, which you gladly give to him.

He pushes into you slowly, almost too slow, allowing you to feel all of him, every vein and curve as he enters you. You hold your breath as you wait for him to enter you completely, the way you stretch around him familiar yet incredibly overstimulating in your current state.

"You okay?" He exhales

"Y-yeah, keep going, please." You assure, nodding quickly.

Joost finally bottoms out, lingering fully inside of you before pulling most of the way out just as painfully slow,

It takes a few strokes for Joost to build up a pace, but once he does he's leaning over you once more. You raise both of your palms to his shoulders, gripping onto them for a split moment before sliding them down to his chest, running your hands over the tuft of dirty blonde hairs.

With each careful thrust into you, your breathing becomes heavier, your brain foggier, purely overwhelmed with the pleasure that is Joost.

"I missed this," Joost groans, "Fuck," He curses, pointed and sharp, "-'m'I gonna have to go another month without you after this? Don't know if I can handle that."

Having already crossed such a line in your relationship with Michael, it seemed unnecessary to deprive yourself of continuing to see Joost in this capacity again.

"Mmno," You slur, "Can have this whenever you want, whenever you want. Every day even."

"Every day, baby?" He raises an eyebrow, "What's the matter? Michael can't make you cum like I do?"

"Or at all," You sigh,

"Oh," Joost's expression is suddenly pained, "Not at all?"

"Barely." You clarify, not quite sure of why the topic of Michael is even being brought up during sex.

Joost lowers his head to your jaw, pressing open mouth kisses to your skin. His tongue is wet and warm, it's soothing, the sensation making you exhale in pure bliss.

"Just using me to cum then, hm?" His question not entirely serious.

"Oh shut up," You giggle, "That's what my fingers are for."

Joost places another sloppy kiss to your jaw before speaking again,

"And I don't suppose you're thinking of Michael when you're doing that?"

"Not exact-ly," You admit, the inflection of your voice raising on the last syllable as Joost begins to thrust into you harder.

"Care to enlighten me on what you do think about?" His voice leads you to believe he's confident that he's the one you think about when trying to get off, and of course, he's right.

"This, right here," You admit, breathing labored with Joost's sharp thrusts. "You," You swallow down a moan, "Fucking me." You bite your lip, "And when I don't feel like faking an orgasm, I imagine its you fucking me instead of Michael."

"Fuck, liefje," Joost lets out a low groan, "Gonna make me cum right now saying shit like that to me."

"Well it's true," You respond innocently, "Never gonna find anyone else like you." And part of you never wants to, Joost such a unique part of your life you'd never want to replace, no matter how rocky things have a habit of becoming between you.

Both of you cease to speak, no more sly remarks to make to each other, rather your bedroom filled only by the borderline pornographic noises you and Joost made together. The filthy wet slapping that bounced off the walls with each thrust, you whispered moans, and Joost's strained grunts instead filling the dead air.

You slide your hands towards Joost's neck, pressing down with your palms, careful not to choke him out, only wanting to feel him under you.

Joost seems like he's struggling to keep pace, his arms wavering on either side of you, signaling he was probably getting close, you're not far behind, but you can't help be disappointed, wishing this moment could last forever.

At this point, Joost knew your body by memory, knowing just where to thrust and at what pace to have you squirming and whimpering under him. And he was putting that knowledge to plenty good use now, the sound of your moans getting louder, and more unruly with each roll of his hips forward was music to his ears.

You feel your muscles tighten once more, already aching and sore from your prior activities, yet you don't let the strain distract you from your building climax. You know you won't be able to last much longer, not with the perfect angle Joost thrusts into you at, so deep with each stroke, and so delicately brushing over your sensitive clit every time he pulls out and subsequently dips back into you.

You keep your eyes trained on Joost for stability, watching the way his face contorts with each perfect thrust forward. He's pretty, almost impossibly so, in a way that makes it hard to care how frequently he seemed to make a mess of your life- it was all worth it, just to see that pretty face above you like this.

"You're staring," He can barely laugh, too out of breath, though he tries. Joost had always been amused by your infatuation with him, and even more so he loved to watch how shy you got when he called you out on it.

Your skin is hot, and not just from the obvious physical activity, it's a warmth that radiates from inside of you, burning every nerve. You let your head fall to the side, a sheepish smile stuck on your lips.

"Don't shy away from me, I'd like to stare at you too." He whines, coaxing you to look back at him.

Your eyes reach his once again, and you notice how his lips part in a deep gasp, ready to speak

"I'm close," His eyes screwing shut for a moment, "Do you want me to pull out?"

He'd never asked before, it had never been a problem, knowing full well you were on the pill.

"Huh-" You huff, "No"

"Just making sure," He speaks through gritted teeth, "Don't wanna be knocked up with another man's baby."

"Oh be quiet," You scold, realizing how badly you choosing to do this with him while you were with Michael had Joost reeling, obviously getting off on it. Getting off on the fact for what felt like for once in his life, he was the better man, and that he was obviously irreplaceable in your life.

"Fuck, schatje," He grunts, "You okay if I cum now?" Not like there was much of a choice, he didn't really have control over that sort of thing,

"Please," You plead, wanting nothing more than to take him to completion.

With a few sharp thrusts, ones that so deliciously hit that perfect spot inside of you, ones that leave you yelping so loud you're sure the neighbors will hear, Joost is spilling into you. His warm release coats your walls.

The feeling makes you clench, Joost sucking in a sharp breath at the way you grip him with his lingering thrusts. His hips sputter forward, sharply ramming into you, this one final move enough to set off your own expectant orgasm.

"Joost!" Your hands leave his neck, flying down to the bed to grab the comforter below you, gripping it harshly between your fingers for stability. Your whole body is overwhelmed by pleasure, and you begin to loose control, legs shaking, body squirming, noises you couldn't even know you could make leaving your lips. You're a complete mess, probably looking more like you're having an exorcism than having sex. But you can't help yourself, it's all too much, and feels all too good. "I'm-" You can't even finish your sentence before the walls of your pussy begin to flutter, your own release spilling out of you, mixing with Joost's to paint his cock with his few final lazy strokes.

Once your orgasm finally rolls over you, Joost is collapsing onto your chest, the pair of you desperate to catch your breaths. You release your grip from the comforter, fingers sore are you flex them, loosing them from their tightened position.

You know the impending wave of guilt is bound to crash into you at any moment, but at least for now you feel nice, Joost's hot, sweaty body atop you is a comforting weight, despite the way it slows your breathing.

You wrap your arms around his back, his skin sticky with perspiration, but you don't mind the way it feels, only wanting to be close to him. He's not quite ready to pull out of you yet, and you're not ready to let him go, instead both of you opt to enjoy the moment, letting your shallow breaths fill the room with eyes shut tight.

You press a kiss to Joost's forehead, unable to stop yourself from the mildly romantic gesture. It's clear Joost doesn't mind, placing a kiss to your shoulder from where his head lies on you.

After a few more minutes of embracing like this, Joost slowly begins to peel himself off of you. You watch intently as he lifts himself up, hair in every which direction, eyelids low, face heavy with lingering pleasure. You want nothing more than to pull him back down on you and stay like that, but you really need to catch your breath.

Carefully, Joost begins to pull out of you, your eyes fluttering shut at the sensation, a strangled whine leaving your throat.

"Sorry," Joost apologizes, finally pulling out of you completely. The way you can feel his release spilling out of you, onto your thighs makes you wince, a filthy reminder of what you had done. Joost most definitely notices the look on your face, backing off of the bed, "Hold on, I'll clean you up."

You assume Joost had run off to the bathroom, coming back a few moments later with a towel, gently patting it between your thighs, careful not to overstimulate you further.

"Gonna go onto the balcony for a smoke" He says, standing back up to redress himself in his underwear, "Want me to close the door behind me so it doesn't get cold in here?"

"It's okay," You sigh, finally having the strength to sit up. Your abdomen and legs are sore, letting you know tomorrow will be a challenge, "Just means you'll have to cuddle me when you get back in."

"Perfectly okay with that," He chuckles before heading to open up to the small balcony on the other side of your room.

A small breeze enters the room as the doors open, and soon the scent of smoke follows. The chill makes you want to hide under the covers, but something is pulling you to go out there with him. You quickly get up from the bed, fighting the cold as you scramble to put on the shirt you had picked out before and a new pair of underwear.

The cold of the outside fully hits you as you step onto the balcony, but it's hard to mind with Joost half-naked in front of you.

"You want a smoke?" He asks

"No, I'm good." You shake your head, "Just wanted to-" Your voice is soft as you wrap your arms around Joost's torso. He's still so warm despite the weather outside. He wraps his free arm behind you, pulling you close to him.

"That's alright," He mumbles into your hair, pressing his lips to the crown of your head. You find comfort in the slow thump of your heart, and this way his chest rises and falls each time he takes a drag of his cigarette. You wish things with Joost could be like this all the time, though really you knew this was the calm before the next storm.

It's nice to pretend, though, at least for now. Pretend he's still your boyfriend, and that everything had worked out between the two of you like it should have.

"You alright, liefje? You're being nicer to me than usual." His slight laughter vibrates against your cheek from where it's pressed to your chest, making you snuggle into him.

You know he's joking but it makes you feel a little bad, knowing you can be harsh on him over the smallest things sometimes.

"I don't know," You sigh, overwhelmed with emotion once more, "I think that- I don't know." You repeat, "Confused."

"I am too."

"I'm sorry." You know it's your fault just as much as it is his.

"Me too."

"I think I still love you." You don't think, you know, but you feign like you're unsure to make it less real.

"Schatje," He coos, rubbing his hand over your back.

"Am I crazy to think you might still love me too?"

"Not at all." He presses another kiss to your head, "I know I love you too."

You dread the moment when you'll have to return back to real life, the reality where Joost is nothing more than an ex boyfriend, and you're with Michael- but for now things are good. Joost will wake you up with head in the morning, and after you'll go to that breakfast place you like around the corner, still in your pajamas. The two of you will sit next to each other in the booth, and hold hands under the table before heading home to share a shower together. And inevitably as the day grows later, one of you will make the smallest slip up, say one wrong thing, and you'll be at each others throats again, ending the day crying, finally ignoring each other until its time to repeat the cycle over again.

But that was a problem for tomorrow, right now you're in his arms, and he's telling you how much he still loves you, and you can pretend for just a moment, that maybe, just maybe things will change.

a/n: weeee i wasn't expecting this to get so long XD......... <3 but im so excited to finally get this out... mwah mwah <3... if you're feeling kind, leave a comment or a reblog to let me know what you think! thank you :3

#joost klein x reader #joost klein x f! reader #joost klein smut #rpf #joost klein rpf #joost klein fic #heartbeat! au

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romeosharpae · 1 year ago

Text

“FOUR MONTHS”

theodore nott x reader

(Yes after one year I'm back with toxic Theodore Nott). You don't have to read part one..

Warnings; Possessive behavior, manipulation, toxic relationships, mentions of obsession, mature sex scenes, unprotected sex, rough sex, swearing, smoking, degradation (Not a lot), theodore nott × female feader, toxic! theodore nott

parts: 1,

There was something in the air this morning, a soothing feeling that made you a little more peppy. So as you skipped to the great hall, books clutched tightly to your chest, a small smile couldn’t help but to be on your lips.

It was the winter — your favorite season, so perhaps that was the reason for your sudden happiness this morning. You’d even wore a little grin through transfiguration, your least favorite class at Hogwarts.

But you were a happy girl generally, nice to everyone who crossed your path. You helped little first years avoid experiencing the wrath of Draco Malfoy. You also helped professors (For sure not Mcgonagal) help clean up after compliance lessons.

That’s just who you are.

“You look pretty today,” Is what Hermione Granger, your best friend, greets you with as you took a seat aside her. No you weren’t a Gryffindor — but you often found yourself sitting at the orange and red more than your own.

“Yeah, I like what you’ve done to your hair.” Harry Potter lowly added in with a sly smile, and you simply reflected it. Ron Weasley, who was aside Hermione let out a little snort in response to his best friend’s attempt to flirt.

Harry Potter – the boy who lived, the boy who everyone without any sort of spite or jealousy in their body adores. Sometimes you even found yourself admiring him — considering him as a form of replacement from your last fling.

“Thank you both,” You giggled,

“Well, I’m happy that your happy, Y/L/N” Hermione declared with a smile, “You see how much happier you are now? Compared to when you allowed that psycho to contr--"

And just like that, there was a damper in your happy mood.

Hermione always made extremely bold comments about your previous unhealthy relationship with Theodore Nott; Which is probably why he hated the fact you two were friends, not because she was a muggle. Truthfully, she’s the one that hyped you up to end things with him — but as you more think of it, she forced you too.

Because despite everything the tall raging brunette put you through, you still found your self right underneath him with a dizzy smile. But that hasn’t happened in four months, not since the day he dragged you out of the party. Shivers roll down your spin as you remember the events that happened that day,

You’ve got fourth months with his touch, without his complications.

And despite missing Theodore some nights, you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t a breath of fresh air. Like the air didn’t feel lighter without him breathing down your neck about showing any other male besides him attention – without him declaring that despite his lack of commit now, you’ll be baring his children later.

You recall how hearing those words made you feel months ago — Well, it did make you finish, but that’s completely besides the point — it finally made you realize that Theodore Not didn’t actually love you.

And neither did he want anyone else too.

Not because he loved you, but because had a unhinged obsession for you. The more you thought of it, the more you realized how clear Theo’s behavior displayed fixation.

How did you not realize it back in first year when he got seriously angry with Blaise Zabini for trying to be your friend?

It makes your stomach twist to think that you and Theodore's friendship was build off of an obsession – one that clearly grew worse as the years progressed.

"You alright over there, Y/L/N?" Ron questioned reluctantly,

You pulled yourself out of your thoughts, turning to him with a small awkward smile across your lips, "Yes I'm fine, just got a little distracted, that's all."

"You always seem to suddenly get distracted when I bring up Nott." Hermione mumble, rolling her eyes. Because you're always telling me to leave him.

Is what you wanted to say, but instead you settle for a simple shrug.

You were sitting criss-cross on an knitted blanket in front of the black lake, skimming over the newest daily prophet in your hands. The full moon reflected softly against the lake water, making you awe.

Everytime a full moon lit the sky your found yourself out here, enjoying the peace. And no one knew about it — you weren't a prefect and your house leader would kill you if they found out you were out here past hours.

Well, you thought no one knew about your secret adventures to the black lake.

It was not until the loud familiar scent of smoke filled your nostrils that you understood that someone was here also. And with the heavy cologne that mixed with it, you didn't have to look back to know who it was.

"Leave. Me. Alone" You growled sternly, ignoring the thudding in your heart.

Of course you'd still hang with Blaise and Pasny every now and then. But when Theo walked in you immediately flee, knowing that being around him would result with him being inside of you in moments.

And your sure he knew that, which is exactly why the brunette is here. "So you don't think I've done that enough for the past four fucking months, Y/N?"

Venom dripped from Theodore's voice, and had you not been so used to Theodore being upset with the stuff you do — The coldness of his tone would have made you scared enough to jump away from him.

Your head snapped back in his direction, generally you were a nice happy girl. But during the times you weren't so sweet, it was Theodore Nott who got that wrath.

Who brought out that side of you.

"No, No." Theo's jaw clenched at your harsh words, lips parting slightly to allow smoke to slip past them. "Because I want you to leave me alone for the rest of my life."

"Did Granger help you come up with that?" Theodore snickered. There wasn't a actual thought in your brain when you rolled your daily prophet and launched it in his direction. He kissed it teeth when the parchment landed softly on his cheek.

The brunette takes another hit short of his cigarette, not giving your outburst a reaction. You stand up to your feet, preparing to collect your stuff and go back on school grounds.

He threw the cigarette on the ground, approaching you. You take a step back, not wanting to feel his touch — the touch that you have been craving for four months.

“Why does everyone get the sweet little Y/N except for me?" He cooed, eyebrows raising.

"What did I do to deserve this nasty side of you Y/L/N, huh?" Everything. "Did I not fuck you good enough last time?"

"You know it is not about that!" You defensively shouted out. Tears began pricking at the corner of your eyes, processing that the only thing you are to him is a fuck. "--You know that it's never been about that!"

You had like Theodore since third year, immediately awed with the matured boy that he became over the summer. And Theo knew your feelings for him — in fact, you told Theo about your feelings right before you had sex for the first time — he just didn't care.

He stared down at you, beautiful eyes glistening underneath the moon light. For a moment you swear you see pity flash in his eyes.. or maybe regret?

It makes you frown — You didn't want Theodore to pity you. It made you feel weak, always finding yourself with him when your in your weakness moments. Because despite his blunt toxic behavior, before your separation, Theodore always is there when you fail a test you study hard for or had complications with your family – He's the shoulder that you lean on, and the root of your problems.

“I miss you"

Something about those words fueled your feelings more, anger bubbling higher. "No you don't Theodore, you miss having me wrapped around your finger."

That regret.. or pity fades away quickly, replaced with anger in seconds.

“Do you even know how many girls I have wrapped around my finger, Y/N?" His mean tone makes you let a small sob. "How many girls wish upon stars that I had the feelings for them that I do you?!" Theodore takes this moment to grab your chin, yanking you closer to him before you got a chance to stop him. He hovers over you, fingers digging into the flesh of your skin. Blue eyes looking down at you like your prey he's prepared to fight for.

“You don't really care about me!"

"Shut up." He growled.

His mouth attacks yours in a feral manner, making you gasp loudly. The faint taste of his chapstick spreads is in your mouth,

And being that naive girl you are, you welcomed his lips eagerly. The hairs of your skin stood up fully, mind becoming foggy while Theodore desperately slides his tongue into your mouth. It makes you sob out louder, tears slipping from your eyes.

Hermione would be so mad if she knew how easily you allowed him in — The lack of fight that you put up with Theo. But you tried, you really did for four entire months..

You really tried your best too stay away from the boy that you loved so deeply.

“I--T--" Is what you choked out moments before Theodore hand slides to the back of your throat, making the kiss much deeper and tongue sloppier. Your noses were smushed against each other — there was nothing you could make out but his scent.

You didn't exactly get to register when it happened or how it happened. But someway, probably with magic, you ended underneath Theodore on your blanket.

Without wasting another second Theodore hooks his finger into the waist band of your shorts and underwear. "Why is things always so complicated with you?"

His words were harsh and the glare on his beautifully structured pale face makes you cry out even harder. The pad of his thumb catches one of your tears when it falls,

“Y/N Why can't you understand that this is perfect?" He wondered bluntly. His eyes look down at your exposed area, "That this is where you should be, with me."

“No--No I shouldn't--" You shouted, Theo grabbed your legs and spread them as far as they could go. "-- Your no good for me"

That makes the brunette scoff defensively – surely thinking that Hermione fed you that. But you knew it was true – If you stuck beside Theodore, you'd be mental by thirty.

A loud gasp fell from your lips when Theo pushed himself into you without any warning. Theirs something in your body that became at ease with the familiar stretch,

As if it been begging for it.

Not giving you a chance to prepare yourself, Theodore bottomed out in you. He groaned loudly as you flutter against him, practically welcoming him in you.

Theo begins snapping his hips forward at a pace that makes your eyes squeeze shut. You wish that you could hate him,

"Yeah, but that doesn't matter.." He finally responded to your comment. The loose curls of his hair brushed against your forehead as Theo leaned down, lips grazing softly against yours. A high pitched whimper left your lips at every thrust he gave you, an hot pain spreading inside in your lower half. Yet you couldn't stop your hips from jumping up, begging for more. “I'm good right now, aren't I?" He mocked,

His tongue invaded your mouth, like he's attempting to swallow your face whole. You kissed back instantly, tongue lapping over his as you both moaned.

Some moments you wished to know what Theodore was thinking when the two of you were together — and other times you didn't, not actually wanting to be right about his lack of love towards you.

His mouth left yours, spit following suit. Instead he began sucking on the skin of your new and chest, leaving bruises. "Mine." Theo growled, squeezing your breast.

You just shook your head frantically at his possessive words, not being able to form a literal disagreement. You weren't Theodore’s.. and unfortunately he wasn't yours.

He squeezed you harder, thrust forming a harsher pace as well, knocking the wind out your chest and making you gasp.

Tears slipped from your eyes from the pleasure, and your fingers began scratching against his arms. If your mind hadn't been so fogged out, you'd be embarrassed from how fast your release caught up.

“Say you won't leave again..." Theo spoke words were stone cold and you tried ignoring them — knowing that you planned on going back into hiding from him.

His cold hand snakes up around your neck, giving it a tight squeeze that makes you squeal. Your sure he notices that your avoiding his request and perhaps that's why his hips began to move at a slower pace – But you really had not expected him to completely stop,

The was absolutely no way he was going to leave you on edge like that. As your eyes flew open you sobbed out, Theodore wore a plain expression. His light eyes were already looking directly into yours,

You attempted to take matters into your own hands by beginning to slip up his length. But Theodore, who clearly wasn't having none of it, pushed you away by your stomach, pulling out of you completely now.

"Say it, Y/N!" He slightly shook you, "Or I swear I'll leave you like this-- Say it--"

"I--I'm not gonna leave!" The words left unexpectedly from your lips. And you really wish you could say you only said it to get your release but that wouldn’t be true. “..Ever again"

Theodore smiled widely at your words, pressing his face against your neck. And you both let out a loud sigh of comfort when he slid back inside of you,

You don't even know how you lasted four months without him.

Part three>>>

#theodore nott #theodore nott x reader #smut #harry potter #theodore nott smut #theo nott #theodore nott x you #theodore nott fanfiction #hogwarts #lorenzo zurzolo #cherries #hp fic #hp fanfcition #hp fandom #slytherin

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throughparisallthroughrome · 3 months ago

Text

R U Mine?

Summary: Anakin has an on-again-off-again, friends-with-benefits type fling with the reader, who won’t commit to him because he’s in the order. She becomes resentful of that fact and eventually starts to make him jealous. anakin loses it

Wordcount: 6.1k

CW: Smut, oral sex (male receiving), cheating but not really, Anakin and reader both being toxic, cursing, drinking, not that proofread

A/N: I'm sorry this took so long to finish! I wanted it to be exactly how I pictured the song. I've also had COVID and just returned to college (taking 6 classes is insane). So, wish me luck! Lemme know if you want to be added to any taglists. As always, criticism is welcome and so is my ask box <3

masterlist.

Frustrated wasn’t the right word for what Anakin was feeling. Exasperated, maybe. Pissed? Oh abso-fucking-lutely.

The relationship Anakin had with you was… complicated to say the least. Far more than he wanted to admit- and far more than he ever liked. You swore up and down that you wanted him one day, and wouldn’t even look his direction the next. You’d get on your knees, begging for him, needing him to fuck you relentlessly; But tomorrow? Tomorrow you didn’t know his name. It suddenly became foreign to your tongue, perhaps just to spite him. That part he wasn’t entirely sure of. How could someone like you treat him like that? Lead him on just to break him the next day?

He just didn’t fucking get you. You were smart, funny, incredibly sexy, and an overall good person (when you weren’t pretending he didn’t exist). You claimed the hearts of many when you walked into a room, and the people you surrounded yourself with stay enamored, never straying too far away from your spell.

Things were far more uncomplicated at the beginning of your complicated relationship (if you could even call it that). Anakin never felt this anxiety- this fear. He wouldn’t ball his fists as he watched you flirt with another man. He wouldn’t hold his breath every time he saw you. He wouldn’t feel himself tense up after he’d cum, knowing where you would go. Of course, the more he got in trouble, the more he needed you. And that’s how he landed into the worst problem of them all.

You represented the Jedi as a lawyer, and Anakin found himself in your office from time to time. Platonically, of course. A few republic and Jedi issues on different missions brought him to you quite a few times. Whether it was for simple legal advice or he actually needed help, you were the first person he went to.

At first, he didn’t notice you much. You rarely made eye contact and stayed professional, asking a few questions occasionally as he shared parts of his missions that the council was concerned about possibly welcoming issues. The line of legality during a war can be very, very thin.

“Skywalker,” He snapped his head up, meeting your face as a grin broke out on your lips.

“I-I’m here.” He shifted up in his seat, glancing around the room for a moment before realizing he totally spaced out.

“You’re not yourself today,” You stand up from behind your desk, gracefully walking over and sitting in the seat next to him, holding his arm gently as you cocked your head and smiled.

“Wanna talk about it?”

The interaction was simple- effective. He was done for- instantly gone. He felt as if you flipped a switch in your personality just with your gaze in that very moment. You went from a peer to the most incredible thing he was blessed to lay eyes on. You were suddenly magnetic, and Anakin couldn’t fucking resist.

He opened up to you, feeling much better about it afterwards, and you told him he could come back and see you anytime he’d like- as a friend. And of course, Anakin could never resist your temptation. He came after every mission, looking forward to sitting in your office and just looking in your eyes as you intently listen. Feeling your eyes flicker down to his lips and back to his pupils. Watching as your hand snakes up and fixes the collar of your shirt, bringing his attention to your cleavage. He watched as you bit your lip intensely, breaking through your painted shiny lips into a little bit of blood.

And you knew you had him wrapped around your fucking finger.

Eventually, he asked for your contact information, “As friends,” he would say, knowing damn well it was never and would never be platonic. You talked a lot, exchanging various texts and phone calls, leading him on for weeks. He spent every waking moment thinking about you. The second you invited him out away from the Temple, another switch was flipped. Anakin’s fucking common sense.

The moment he took you home from the bar, your lips were on his feverishly, pulling him into your touch, grinding your hips against his groin. Again, he couldn’t resist. You were all he could fucking think about and here you were, practically begging for him with your tongue down his throat. He fucked you that night- the beginning of something beautiful, and fucking dangerous.

This, of course, went on for months. Those late nights, some drinks, his cock buried deep inside of you as you screamed out his name so loud you hardly had a voice the next day. You know it was wrong- he was bound by the code and you weren’t- you were taking advantage of that, advantage of him. But it felt so fucking good. And neither of you wanted to stop

Of course, neither of you expected to fall in love.

You felt something in the way he was gentle with you, the way he would brush your hair behind your cheek. The way he’d kiss your forehead while making love fucking, telling you how good you feel, how much he loved fucking you. And there was that word again. You began opening up to him, actually wanting to have a friendship aside from the casual fucking. The fucking needed the ‘casual’ part. For a while, it was straight fucking. But you still rejected him, seeing similar feelings bubble up in his eyes.

But Anakin knew he was in love a lot longer before you did. He knew it was wrong, but it only made him want you more. He knew it was bad, and he couldn’t help but be more enticed by the idea of it. The idea of you. He wanted to wake up next to you every morning, pulling you into his arms as he looked into your big doe eyes and kisses your soft lips. He wanted to come home to you, wanted to see your face light up as he swings open the front door. He wanted you to be his and only his. But he just couldn’t resist fucking you, either.

And yet you left him lonely and confused every time.

There were 3 instances he could remember where he knew you were driving him crazy- in all of the right ways. Whether it was your perfect tight pussy, those gorgeous round tits or the way you looked into his eyes, biting your lip and batting your eyelashes. You always got what you wanted from him- you were taking full advantage of the Jedi and he didn’t care.

He remembers a particularly awful mission, the separatists unexpectedly advanced on him and his battalion before they had the chance to escape. There were multiple casualties and the information ended up being lost, as well as all leads they had. It was a dead end- and Anakin was sick of dead ends.

He texted you a few times, feeling particularly annoyed by the ‘delivered’ that flashed on his phone as you never responded. He tried calling, only for it to go straight to voicemail. You were ignoring him? And for what?

He threw his phone down on his bed, leaning against his headboard and putting his face in his palms as he groaned loudly in annoyance from your rejection. He made you cum 8 times last night and you couldn’t text or call him back?

He bit his lip in frustration, thinking back onto the fond memories with you from the night before. He just needed some reassurance, after all, you two were friends, right..? He didn’t like his hesitation when he thought that. Were you really friends? Or was all of that confiding just to get into his pants knowing damn well it was against every moral he was supposed to have as a Jedi.

He abruptly stands up, realizing that maybe a night to himself would probably be better anyways. He needs a fucking drink- and he knows exactly where to go.

To say that he wasn’t going to Mazzy’s because that was where you two went for the first time and he liked the memory would be a lie. To say he wasn’t going to Mazzy’s in case he would run into you? Well, that was an even bigger fucking lie. And did he run into you…

He recalls sitting at the end of the bar, ordering a scotch from the pretty bartender and watching as she bent over to grab the bottle, showing off her tits as she gave him a wink. He nodded in response, giving a tight lipped smile while paying no mind to her advances. He grabs the scotch slightly aggressively off the bar, taking a large swig as he turns his attention away from the bartender to do a little people watching.

He skims the crowd, noticing quite a few familiar faces. For Coruscant, that was surprising. But this bar definitely had it’s regulars. He turns his attention back to the bar, watching the way the light bounced off of the multicolored glasses on the shelves as he traced his finger against the rim of his glass. And there it was. That fucking laugh.

He whipped his head so fucking fast to the location of the sound that the bartender could have sworn it almost fell off. And there you were… in all of your glory… cheating on him?

He recognized the dress, the long slit up your thigh leaving quite little to the imagination. You were practically sitting on this mans lap, laughing at his jokes and tracing his collarbone with your painted fingertip. He noticed the stain on the mans cheek, none other than your signature color. And it was extremely hard to look away from the dark spots littering your neck- the same place he left his hickeys before. He knew you had lovers before- but not like this.

His hand was clenched around his glass, his knuckles turning white as the glass threatened to break under his grip. He didn’t realize at what point he stood up and started walking over, but it had to be right after you began to aggressively make out with the stranger. He had seen enough.

“What the fuck is this?” He seethes, you pull away, slightly shocked but a smirk still trained on your painted lips.

“Ani- what are you doing here! Such a sight for poor eyes!” You cheer, throwing your arm with your cosmopolitan around the man’s neck you were with.

The mans eyes darkened and so did yours. You were clearly wasted, and Anakin felt his heart pound in his chest. You were in no position to consent to anything, much less be taken home by this man. He didn’t trust the scene that was being laid out in front of him.

He quickly grabbed your arm, pulling you off the man and spilling your drink on his chest. You yelped in surprise at his actions, but your cry quickly turned into giggles as you were amused by how irritated Anakin was. He was infuriated with you. You were being such a brat.

He opens the door to the bar and pulls you around the corner and down the alley.

“So aggressive.” You mumble and he huffs.

“What the fuck was that? What about us? How long have you been fucking around on me?”His hands pin you down against the rough bricks, his words loud and angry.

His brow twitches slightly as he waits for your response. Your mouth tugs into a smirk as you trace his collarbone through his shirt and let out a gentle laugh.

“I never said we were exclusive, Anakin.”

And there it was.

“I- oh,” His face drops at the sight of your smirk, along with his heart. “I understand,”

“Don’t worry, Ani,” You bite your lip and bring your hand to his cheek while he squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, “You mean more to me than any lousy fuck I have.”

His eyes shot open to meet yours as your smile grew. He was so fucking enamored with you that he didn’t mind the manipulation your words were laced with.

You leaned further into him and kissed his cheek, letting your hands roam on his body. He groaned slightly as your hands cupped him right where he needed you. You let your lips trail down his neck, hearing a couple soft groans leaving his lips. You pulled away lowered your voice to a whisper, he shivered as he felt your hot breath on his ear.

“It was nice to see you, Ani,” You pulled away and stumbled around the corner and back into the bar.

Anakin was speechless. He was sure his jaw dropped through the ground beneath him. He didn’t know what to do- or how to even move. And as much as it pained him to leave- his drink unfinished and his tab not paid- he fucking bolted back to the temple. There was no way he was walking back in there to see you again.

Weeks later, he did his best to put you out of his mind. He knew if he started letting his mind wander, it’d go right to you and your hold on him. His feelings- his cock. But then it’d wander back to seeing you kiss another man- another man’s marks littering your neck. He couldn’t bear the thought of either. Not right now.

It was hard to do anything around the temple- he’d search every corner for you. He thanked the maker the days he would get assigned missions and get out of there. Of course, since that night, they fell very few and far between.

And of course, Anakin always did catch glimpses of you in the Temple. He’d see you in your perfect little pantsuits with your clipboard talking to some other Jedi. If he was lucky, you’d have those slutty little glasses on. His pants would instantly tighten. It had been weeks since you slept together, and he couldn’t bare the idea of his hand, knowing exactly where his thoughts would wander. Every time you caught him staring- he was gone in an instant.

The second instance happened after another rough mission- but still a success nonetheless. After arriving back to the Temple, spending some time at the med bay, briefing the council, and filling out far too much paperwork, his communicator went off at his desk.

“Skywalker, speaking,” He grunted, flipping a few pages around as he scanned over his words in his mission report.

“Oh you sound particularly delightful today, Anakin,” He rolled his eyes at the sound of his old master, the sarcasm dripping off of his voice.

“To what do I owe the pleasure, Obi-Wan?” He smirked to himself, setting his pen down and leaning back in his chair.

“I’m afraid the Council has requested us to speak with Miss L/N about this mission,” Anakin instantly froze, his smile dropping, “I’m not exactly sure about the reasoning- but apparently she personally requested us. She had an interest in some parts of this mission,”

“Of fucking course,” Anakin grumbled, picking his pen up with the force and twirling it in the air as his scowl deepened.

“What was that?” Anakin froze, realizing who he was talking to.

“Nothing, Master. Will be there soon,” He quickly ended the call, leaning back in his chair and groaning as he thought about the mission. His pants had instantly tightened upon hearing your last name, and there was no time to wait for that to disappear.

He sulked and walked as slowly as he could on his way to your office, turning the familiar corners with a bad taste in his mouth. He heard your laugh from down the hall and felt his shoulders and cock stiffen.

He pushed open the door with the force, being met with you and Obi-Wan as you sat and discussed something, both of your faces beat red from laughing.

“Oh, Anakin,” Obi-Wan manages to breathe out, “Nice of you to show up,”

Anakin ignores his remark, sitting down on the sofa next to him and darkening his gaze towards you as his eyes trail down your body. The pantsuit you had on today was a deep red and tighter fitting than you normally wore. The shirt you had on underneath was skin tight, showing off your cleavage and the texture of the bra underneath. Anakin swore if he had looked longer he could see the lace of your bra peaking out, your nipples hardening underneath it.

He took a deep breath and shifted uncomfortably in his seat, feeling the tightness in his pants really start to get him as his eyes trailed back up to the smirk that painted your lips.

“So, why are we here?” He sneered as you raised a brow, your smile growing from his annoyance. Obi-Wan nudged his leg slightly, throwing him a glare. His expression didn’t waver.

“Sassy today, I see,” You giggled to yourself, watching his eyes grow darker, the bulge in his pants growing as well, “Just came to hear a few things about the mission-“

“Like what?” He interrupted, leaning back into his seat and huffing to himself in annoyance.

“Well, Skywalker, maybe if you let me finish I could tell you.” His gaze never faltered, so you let your smile drop. You sat up straighter and became suddenly much more professional.

“Just need to know the details, Anakin. Obi Wan already told me most of it-“

“Then why am I needed?” He crossed his arms and Obi-Wan turned to look at him.

“Well, Anakin, maybe if you let our friend explain, we could talk-“ Anakin scoffs loudly at Obi-Wan, and you feel the heat rise within you.

“Okay, fine. Fucking talk. Ask. Whatever.” He furrows his brows as he watches you cross your legs and cough slightly, your tits bouncing purely for his pleasure.

“As I was saying, just needed to make sure we don’t need to worry about any legal repercussions with Hynestia Prime. You have a tendency of getting in trouble in that area, Skywalker. You can’t blame me for wanting to check- especially with a monarchy as prominent as their’s.” You clicked your pen, bringing it to your lips and gently biting it as you waited for a response from Anakin.

“I’m sure Obi-Wan mentioned it was a fairly standard in and out mission-“

“No interruptions? No casualties?” You interrupted, leaning forward slightly and meeting his fairly irritated gaze.

“If you’d let me finish-“

“Skywalker, you interrupted first.” You leaned back in your chair, unclicking your pen and writing something down, avoiding his eyes, “Besides, it’s been a while since you’ve paid me a visit, anyways.”

Obi-Wan raises a brow and Anakin coughs awkwardly as you smirk at his reaction. He glared at you before clearing his throat once again.

“Hasn’t- uh- Hasn’t been necessary. Been on my best behavior.” He stuttered out, avoiding Obi-Wan’s eyes.

“Uh huh,” You smile to yourself, clicking your pen and standing up, bending over to grab something off the floor, “Well, I’ll have paperwork sent to your quarters. I hope your writing matches your words, Skywalker.”

You walk over to Obi-Wan, shaking his hand and telling him how nice it was to see him. You avoided Anakin’s gaze, but you could feel it burning on your skin as he never wavered from his position next to Kenobi.

“It’s been lovely, Y/N. Anakin, I’ll catch up with you later,” Anakin nods in response, not meeting his eyes as he keeps them fixed upon you. The second the door is latched shut, he’s immediately in your face.

“What the fuck is your problem today? Saying that in front Obi-Wan? Risking my position as a Jedi?” You smiled under him, squeezing your thighs shut as he yelled in your face, “I mean- you are fucking unbelievable! Fucking ridiculous.” He turns away from you and begins pacing your office, rubbing his temple in annoyance.

You keep your mouth shut, your smile growing wider and the wetness growing in your panties as you watch the vein in his neck pop from anger. You walk up to him and push him on the sofa, getting on your knees in the process.

“What the fuck are you doing.” He seethes, watching you unbutton his pants.

“You’re so pent up darling,” You lick your lips as you palm him through his robes lightly, “When was the last time you gave yourself any satisfaction?”

“Y/N, please don’t-“ He’s cut off by his own groans at the feeling of you pulling out his dripping cock.

“Don’t what, baby?” You look up at him with your big doe eyes, batting your eyelashes as he groans one more time, pre cum practically pouring out of him and on your hand. “You don’t want me to take care of you?” You lift your hand up and lick the pre cum off slowly, never breaking eye contact as his breath hitches.

“I- Fuck- Ah- I don’t remember what I was saying,” You smirk at his words, gently jerking him off as you watch his eyes practically roll.

“That’s what I thought.”

You shove his cock down your throat brutally, instantly letting it hit the back. Anakin jumps slightly, letting out a loud moan at the feeling of you deepthroating him so quickly. You bob up and down, the tears flowing freely as you squeeze him in between your fingers. You could practically cum yourself with the noises he’s making.

“Y/N- Y/N- oh my fucking-“ He cuts himself off with another loud moan, feeling you milk his cock dry with your mouth. He didn’t even have to fuck your throat. You were doing it for him.

You kept going, feeling his cock spaz in your throat. He was close- very close. His moans grew louder, more raspy and whiny as you throat fucked him.

“Y/N- I’m gonna- I’m gonna cum- Ah-“ And with that, you shoved his cock all the way down your throat, licking the bottom of his shaft and giving his balls a gentle squeeze.

He loudly moans as his cock spazzes in your mouth, painting your throat white with his cum. You keep sucking and licking through his orgasm, feeling him squirm under your touch. There was more cum in your mouth than you have ever felt in your life.

You sit back, letting his cock flop back onto his lap. You open your mouth, letting the cum drip out and onto your tits as he watched with his mouth slightly agape, moaning at the sight.

“Y/N…” He whispers, watching you swallow his seed as he cups your face in his hand.

You stand up and grab a tissue for him, letting him clean up while you press a few kisses to his temple. He looks up at you and kisses you passionately, pulling away and smiling at you.

Interrupting your moment, the phone rings. You smirk at him one more time before getting back onto your feet, letting out a gentle groan as you make your way to your desk. Anakin’s eyes never leave your figure, watching your every move as his cock prepares for round two.

“Hey baby,” You answer the phone and Anakin instantly tenses, “No, I’m at work. Just been busy.” You turn to face Anakin and he’s already gone.

As much as you hate to say it, your heart ached a little at his absence.

The third and final instance Anakin would have never expected in a thousand years. But there you were.

He woke abruptly, not by a nightmare (at least yet), but to the sound of harsh knocks on his door.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes for a moment, the knocks unrelentless. Throwing the covers to the side, he stood up and put a robe and pants on, growing increasingly annoyed with whatever visitor thought it to be best to wake him up like this.

He aggressively throws open the door and his heart drops at the sight of you. Holy fuck- you were gorgeous. He felt his jaw drop slightly at you and the smirk spread on your face. He noticed a particular blush to your cheeks and he realized he could smell the liquor pouring off of you. Fuck.

“Baby,” You pushed him inside his quarters, your heels clanking against the ground as you kicked the door shut behind you, “Need you so bad,” You dropped your coat, revealing your lingerie underneath and he bit his lip.

“Y/N, what are you-“ Anakin’s cut off abruptly by your painted lips meeting his, and he stumbled back as your hand meets his cock. He groans into your mouth as you smile, deepening the kiss.

“Fuck-“ He finds himself moaning under your touch, unable to resist you as you let the lust take over.

Suddenly, his eyes widen and he pushes you off of him, catching his breath. You smirk at him, walking closer to kiss him once again only to be met with his hand on your chest, gently pushing you away from him once again.

“You’re drunk,” He breathes out, and you laugh.

“And? So what? I want you,” You whine, walking closer only to be met with his hand once again. “What’s your fucking problem?”

He scoffs at you, taking another step back away from you. “Y/N, you can’t just show up here fucking drunk and naked. What if someone saw you? What if-“

“For fucks sake will you just shut up and fuck me?” Again, you were met with resistance, his brows furrowing in annoyance.

“No, I’m not having sex with you. You’re being a brat. And you’re fucking drunk. I don’t want this.” He attempts to say calmly and you scoff at him.

“And you’re being a fucking dick.”

“I’m being a fucking dick?” He comes closer now, putting his finger on your chest accusingly, “You can’t keep your fucking legs shut! And to think that I thought we had something- meanwhile you’re calling every fucking man on Coruscant ‘baby’ while I go off to war thinking of you! Thinking that maybe- just maybe- you were thinking of me too! And fuck, was I so fucking wrong-”

“Shut the fuck up! You just want my pussy!” You stumble back away from him, avoiding his piercing gaze.

“That’s the fucking thing! I wish I did! But I don’t! I actually fucking like you. Like- a lot. And you’re so goddamn frustrating!” Anakin yells loudly, watching as you continue to pull away from him during his confession.

“You don’t mean that. You’re just saying-“ As you tried to continue, you were cut off by the sounds of your own screams, tripping over your coat and cutting yourself on a piece of metal on the floor.

“Shit- Y/N, come here baby.” Anakin immediately rushes to your aid, wincing slightly at your bloody knees on the ground below him.

“Ah fuck- Ani- It hurts,” You whine as he bites his lip at your tears, trying to figure out the best course of action.

“Here,” He puts his arms under your legs, pulling you into his chest as he picks you up and sets you on his bed. You wet his chest with your tears, emotions spilling over from the cuts and the fight. “Hold tight, sweetheart. I’m gonna clean you up, okay?”

He gets on his knees in front of you, wiping a tear from your eyes as he watches you concerned. He presses a gentle kiss to your forehead before getting up and hastily rushing to his bathroom. He throws open the cabinet, searching for first aid supplies as he hears your whines grow louder from the pain. The cuts were pretty deep and he cursed himself for leaving out a project so haphazardly on the floor.

“Give my hair a tug if it gets to be too much, yeah?” He gets on his knees in front of you as you give him a rushed nod. You giggle slightly at his request but the second the alcohol meets your bloody knees, your hands are in his hair and you let out a little yelp.

“You’re doing so well, sweetheart. I know it hurts- I’m so sorry. This will be better soon- I promise.” He mumbles to you as you continue to cry under his touch, waiting for the pain to end.

By the time he bandages you fully and gets some water in you, you’ve sobered up enough to realize your mistake. You had fallen way too hard for the Jedi in front of you- literally. And with your bloodied knees, it felt like the galaxy was telling you that.

He stands up and moves to the bathroom, putting his supplies away and washing his hands while you stand and grab your coat.

“I- Um- I’m sorry,” He pauses washing his hands, letting the water run over them as he slowly looks up at you. He can feel something’s wrong. He quickly dries them and makes his way over to you hesitantly.

“Y/N, what’s wrong? Did something else happen?” He tentatively puts his hand on your arm, his breath hitching as you move away from his touch.

“Yes- sorry- just made a mistake. Thank you for taking care of me. It was nice to see you.” You avoid his concerned gaze, holding your coat to your chest tightly as you make your way to the door.

“Y/N- Wait!” He grabs your arm once again, and you feel yourself wince at his touch, tears bubbling to your eyes that you didn’t know existed. “I don’t understand- what happened?”

“Ani- I just,” you take a deep breath, squeezing your hands into fists. Finally turning to face him, you whisper, “I-I I just can’t do this anymore.”

His face instantly drops at the sight of you. You were so raw and emotional suddenly, the alcohol leaving a nasty taste in your mouth and bringing out a new side to you. One he was unfamiliar with. Before he could respond, you had shed a tear and left his quarters, leaving him hurt and confused once again.

This was different, it felt different- he could recognize that. The way you left made him nauseous. The things you said. He couldn’t help but stand there stunned, unable to move for quite some time until he realized just what happened. You ended things with him. He was more confused than ever.

In the passing weeks, as much as Anakin wanted to respect your boundaries and your wishes- he felt it to be nearly impossible. He took on more responsibilities as a Jedi, increasing his efforts in the war and politically. He did everything he could to stay away from you and get you off of his mind.

He became more closed off, distracting himself from any pain he felt possible. The people around him noticed, offering help and guidance when they could. His own padawan and old master poked and prodded about him relentlessly, but he never gave in to their concern.

Occasionally, he’d catch glimpses of you throughout the temple, and instead of his cock hardening at the sight of you like it once did, his heart only hurt. Your smile made him nauseous, your laugh a knife twisting inside of him. As much as he cared for you, he hated the idea of you doing well. Moving on without him.

And there he was, doing exactly what you did to him…

He knocked harshly, enough that if he ran away at this point it’d be fucking embarrassing. He forced himself to do this- at least he was sober when you weren’t. And he wasn’t exactly here for sex, but if it happened, well… he always heard breakup sex was nice. If he could even call this a ‘breakup’.

Anakin felt himself start to sweat a little. He didn’t know what to expect from this. What to expect from you. You were always different, always surprising him. Even when he thought he knew you- or loved you- there was always something knew that attempted to change that.

But Anakin knew deep down how hard he had fallen for you. And just how impossible it would be to change that. And while he was already sweating from nerves, it quickly turned into anger. He loved you. Loved. And yet you continued to walk all over him and his emotions? What the fuck? Has he not shown you just how devoted he was to you? Why were you so-

“Anakin,” His eyes instantly met your tired ones, darkened with a certain rage you couldn’t quite make out. “What are you doing here?”

He was silent. The scary kind of Anakin silent that sent shivers down the spines of those who witnessed it. And man, you felt it. His eyes trailed up your body, the silky lace nightgown you wore suddenly felt more revealing than it did a few minutes prior. You felt your breath hitch in your throat from his silence, your fingers fidgeting with your nightgown as you unconsciously straightened your posture a bit.

“Anakin, what are you- Hey!” He suddenly welcomed himself in your apartment, pushing through you and into your living room. You slam the door behind you, turning and facing the angry man behind you.

“You shouldn’t be here.” You sigh, attempting to stay calm as you watched the taller man in front of you unravel.

“Why? Is there someone else here?” He seethes, stepping closer to you.

“No! And even if there was- that’s none of your fucking business, Anakin. We aren’t fucking together. You are just a good fuck and that is all.” You step closer, your words twisting like knives but he never backs down. His finger meets your chest accusingly, his lips upturning into a smirk.

“Y/N, we both know that’s not it.” You shudder under his gaze, turning away from him to conceal your emotions.

“Anakin- we can’t.” You state plainly, and for once he can’t read you.

“Why the fuck not?”

“Because we can’t!” You turn around and scream, “Because you’re a fucking JEDI and it’s against everything we stand for! And you’re the fucking chosen one! I’m not doing this. As much as I’d like to and as much as I fucking resent all of that- it doesn’t make the reality we are in any less of a problem.”

“I’d leave it all for you.”

“No you fucking won’t!” You give him a shove, “You’re so fucking frustrating!”

“I’m so fucking frustrating? That’s fucking rich.” He grabs your arm, forcing you to face him, “Do you know how fucking bad it hurts to watch you with other men? How hard it is to hear you call them baby? And you think that isn’t fucking frustrating? All I wanna fucking hear you say is that you’re mine. I just want you to be mine!”

“ANAKIN PLEASE!” You crumble beneath him, “It’s not like I fucking enjoy it! I spend my nights wishing it was you! It-It’s just all a fucking distraction! Because I want you so fucking bad and I can’t have you.” Your voice cracks slightly and his gaze softens upon seeing your teary eyes.

“I’m in love with you.”

“Anakin, please stop,” You fall to your knees, feeling your heart ache at his confession, “Please- we can’t do this.”

“Baby,” He sits down next you softly, holding you in his arms, “I will do everything I can to make this possible. We can keep it a secret for now and after the war? Who knows what’s possible.” You glance up at him, eyes glossy and lip quivering.

“I-I don’t know.” You whisper, avoiding his eyes, “I’ve spent so long pushing this down. Feeling resentment towards you and your status and the fact that we could never make this work. I spent so much time having really awful sex just to try and take my mind off of you.”

“Did it work?” He whispers back, his lips curving into a soft smile.

“No,” You hiccup, a blush spreading to your cheeks, “I kept accidentally moaning your name.” You both giggle and he pulls you into his arms.

“That’s my girl.”

He pulls you in once more, letting your tears dry as you both take in the comfortable silence surrounding you. You can feel his heartbeat slow, the tension leaving his muscles as he holds you close. He was finally relaxed, and so were you.

“Y/N, can I call you mine?” He whispers against your neck, and you can feel his nerves return.

“You got me, baby, I’m yours.”

295 notes · View notes

hyunj1nsbae · 3 months ago

Text

Distracted | H.H

Chapter 3

Synopsis: Caught in a whirlwind of emotions, you struggle with your complicated feelings for Hyunjin, who bullies you yet captivates your heart. When he starts getting close to the new girl, Yeji, jealousy drives you to confront him. The tension between you escalates, forcing you to face the thin line between love and hate.

Warnings: angst,toxic and manipulative Hyunjin, dirty talk, unprotected p in v (don’t do this😭), fingering, situationship?, some arguing and teasing, making out

Wc: 4.1k

Note : sorry this is kinda angsty I’ll make up for it somehow🥲

The morning sun poured through your bedroom window, spilling warm light across your floor. You lay in bed, tangled in sheets and thoughts of Hyunjin, the teasing bully whose presence had become a bittersweet part of your life. His smirks and taunts were now entangled with an inexplicable jealousy that had begun to fester within you. It didn’t help that he had recently been spending an alarming amount of time with a girl you’ve never seen before, Yeji, a girl who seemed to effortlessly draw his attention away from you.

You shoved your covers aside, dragging yourself out of bed and getting ready for another day at school. You tried to shake off the anxious feeling that had settled in your stomach, a lingering discomfort that grew each time you saw Hyunjin and Yeji together.

After hastily getting dressed, you made your way to school, your heart heavy with the uncertainty of the day ahead. Once you arrived, you spotted your friends Karina and Chaewon near your locker, their voices rising above the bustling noise of students.

“Hey! Over here!” Karina waved you over, her smile warm but fleeting as she noticed the distant look in your eyes.

“Hey,” you said, trying to mask your worries. “What’s up?”

“Just talking about the weekend plans! You’re coming, right?” Chaewon asked, her excitement palpable.

“Sure, sounds good,” you replied, forcing a smile. But your mind was elsewhere, fixated on the sight of Hyunjin and Yeji across the hallway, their heads bent close together in animated conversation. He was laughing—his real laugh, not the teasing chuckle he reserved for you—and it made your heart twist painfully.

“Y/N, you okay?” Karina asked, noticing your distracted gaze. “You seem a bit… off today.”

“I’m fine,” you said quickly, perhaps too quickly. “Just a little tired, I guess.”

As the three of you made your way to class, you couldn’t shake the image of Hyunjin and Yeji from your mind. It was infuriating how easily he had shifted his attention away from you, how he seemed so enchanted by her presence while ignoring you completely.

Throughout the morning, your classes dragged on, each tick of the clock amplifying your anxiety. You found it impossible to focus, your thoughts consumed by Hyunjin’s teasing glances and his recent friendship with Yeji.

I shouldn’t be jealous.

When lunch finally rolled around, you tried to breathe a sigh of relief, but the cafeteria was a minefield of reminders.

As you entered the bustling room, laughter echoed around you, and your gaze instinctively darted to the corner where Hyunjin and Yeji sat together. He leaned back in his chair, effortlessly charming, as Yeji leaned in, her hair cascading over her shoulder. They were deep in conversation, the chemistry between them painfully evident.

I shouldn’t be jealous.

“Y/N, over here!” Chaewon’s voice broke through your thoughts, and you turned to see her waving from a table with Karina. You made your way over, but your heart felt heavy as you tried to shake off the jealousy.

“Are you okay?” Karina asked, her brow furrowing in concern. “You’ve been acting weird.”

“I’m fine,” you insisted, but the words felt hollow even to you. “Just… a bit distracted.”

“Distracted by Hyunjin?” Chaewon teased lightly, trying to lift your spirits. But her comment only made the knot in your stomach tighten further.

“He’s just hanging out with Yeji a lot lately,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “It’s just… it bothers me.”

“Why? Are you interested in him?” Karina probed, her eyes narrowing playfully.

You hesitated, the truth lingering on the tip of your tongue. “No, it’s not like that. I just don’t want to be left behind, you know? He used to pay attention to me.”

“Maybe you should confront him about it,” Chaewon suggested, her tone serious. “You can’t keep bottling it up.”

Before you could respond, Hyunjin walked into the cafeteria, immediately drawing attention. The moment his eyes landed on you, his lips curved into a mischievous smirk, and you felt your heart race. He sauntered over, the confidence radiating off him like a magnet.

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite distraction,” he said, leaning casually against the table, his gaze locking onto you with an intensity that made your stomach flutter. “What’s wrong? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

“Nothing,” you shot back, irritation bubbling beneath the surface. “Why do you care?”

“Just wondering if you’re still sulking over me,” he teased, a smirk playing on his lips. The taunt stung, but you refused to let him see how much it affected you.

“Why would I sulk over someone who’s too busy with Yeji?” you retorted, your voice sharper than intended.

Hyunjin’s expression shifted, a flicker of amusement dancing in his eyes. “Jealous much? It’s cute to see you all worked up.”

“Jealous? I’m not jealous!” you snapped, crossing your arms in a futile attempt to shield yourself from his teasing. “I just think it’s pathetic how you can’t see how ridiculous you look.”

“Pathetic?” he echoed, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “That’s rich coming from someone who can’t take their eyes off me.”You could feel the heat rising in your cheeks, a mixture of embarrassment and frustration. “You think you’re so charming, don’t you?”

He leaned closer, the teasing gleam in his eyes making your heart race. “I know I am. But hey, don’t worry. You still have my attention—at least for now.”

“Wow, how generous of you,” you replied dryly, the sarcasm barely masking your hurt.

“Oh, come on. Don’t act like you’re not a little thrilled,” he said, waving a hand dismissively. “I’m just trying to have fun. Why don’t you join me?”

“Join you? You mean join you and Yeji?” you shot back, unable to hold back the bitterness.

His smirk faltered for a second, and he glanced back toward Yeji, who was still engrossed in conversation with a couple of other classmates. “She’s just a friend,” he said, his tone shifting slightly. “But I can see why you’d be worried. You might actually like me.”

“You’re unbelievable,” you muttered, shaking your head.

“Maybe I am,” he replied, a wicked grin creeping back onto his face. “But you’re the one who can’t stop thinking about me. Just admit it.”

You huffed, frustration bubbling over. “You think you can just toy with everyone’s feelings? You’re such a bully, Hyunjin.”

“A bully? Oh please, I’m just having a little fun,” he replied, his tone dismissive. “If you can’t handle it, that’s your problem.”

With that, he turned away, leaving you seething with a mix of anger and jealousy. You couldn’t believe how he had just brushed off your feelings, as if they were nothing more than a passing joke.

“Ugh, he’s insufferable,” you muttered to Karina and Chaewon as they exchanged worried glances.

“Maybe you should tell him how you really feel,” Karina suggested.

“Yeah, like he’d actually listen,” you replied bitterly. “He only cares about his own ego.”

As lunch wound down, you attempted to focus on the conversation with your friends, but Hyunjin’s words echoed in your mind. You couldn’t shake the feeling that you were slowly losing him to Yeji, and the jealousy was eating you alive.

After school, you headed to your favorite café to study with your friends. The atmosphere was relaxed, and you desperately tried to focus on your notes. Yet, every few minutes, your thoughts drifted back to Hyunjin and Yeji, the way they laughed together, the way he looked at her. It felt like a knife twisting in your chest.

“Y/N, are you even paying attention?” Chaewon’s voice broke through your haze.

“Sorry,” you said, forcing your eyes back to your notes. “Just… a lot on my mind.”

“Is it about Hyunjin?” Karina asked, her tone softer now.

“Yeah,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “I just can’t help but feel jealous every time I see him with her. It’s like he’s forgotten I exist.”

“Maybe he’s not as oblivious as you think,” Chaewon said, her eyes searching yours. “He could just be messing with you.”

You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “I don’t know. He’s such a bully. One minute he’s teasing me, and the next, he’s all over Yeji. It’s confusing.”

“Maybe you should call him out on it,” Karina suggested. “Tell him how you feel instead of keeping it bottled up.”

“I can’t just confront him. He’ll laugh at me,” you replied, frustration spilling over.

“Or he might actually take you seriously,” Chaewon countered, her voice firm. “You won’t know until you try.”

Just then, your phone buzzed with a message from Hyunjin, making your heart race. “Hey! Can’t wait to see you at the café. Just finishing up practice with Yeji.”

Your stomach twisted, the message feeling like a slap in the face. You quickly set your phone down, unable to process how easily he had shifted from your ‘friend’ to someone who could easily ignore your feelings.When Hyunjin arrived, his presence filled the café, the air around him buzzing with confidence. You felt a mix of excitement and dread as he approached, his usual smirk firmly in place.

“Well, look who’s still here!” he said, glancing around the table. “What are you all talking about? Miss me?”

“Hardly,” you shot back, your tone sharper than intended. He raised an eyebrow, clearly unfazed. “You know, you’re not as entertaining when you’re sulking.”

“Maybe I wouldn’t be sulking if you weren’t busy flirting with Yeji all the time,” you snapped, unable to keep the jealousy at bay.

Hyunjin chuckled, a cruel amusement dancing in his eyes. “Jealous much? You know I can hang out with whoever I want, right?”

“Yeah, I get that,” you shot back, your voice rising. “But you don’t have to flaunt it in front of me.”

“Flaunt? I’m just living my life. If you can’t handle it, that’s your issue,” he replied, leaning back in his chair with an air of arrogance.

“Why are you so mean?” you asked, frustration boiling over. “You think it’s funny to mess with everyone’s feelings?”

He leaned closer, a glint of mischief in his eyes. “Feelings? you should be grateful I even acknowledge you. You’re lucky I haven’t completely ignored you like you’re trying to do with me.”

“You’re impossible,” you shot back, your heart racing with anger and hurt.

“Maybe, but you’re the one who can’t seem to get over me,” he said, his tone teasing yet serious. “Just admit it—you’re into me.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but the words got caught in your throat. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing how much he affected you, but the truth was, you were still drawn to him despite the way he treated you.

“Whatever, Hyunjin. Do what you want,” you finally said, standing up to leave.

He watched you go, his expression unreadable, and as you exited the café, you felt a mix of anger and heartache. You knew you had to confront him, but the thought terrified you.

That evening, as you lay in bed, the tension from the day replayed in your mind. The jealousy, the teasing, and the way Hyunjin seemed to revel in making you feel small weighed heavily on your heart. Tomorrow, you resolved, you would find a way to tell him how you felt, no matter how scared you were. You couldn’t keep letting him bully you emotionally.

The next day, you approached school with a sense of determination. You were ready to face Hyunjin and confront the feelings that had been bubbling beneath the surface for too long. The air felt charged as you navigated the crowded hallways, searching for him amidst the throng of students.

When you finally spotted him, he was leaning against a locker, chatting with Yeji, the two of them laughing together in a way that made your heart sink. You took a deep breath, steeling yourself for the confrontation.

“Hyunjin,” you called out, trying to keep your voice steady.

He turned to you, that infuriating smirk creeping across his face. “What do you want?”

You felt a rush of frustration, but you pushed it down. “Can we talk?”

“Sure, but make it quick. I’m busy,” he said, waving a hand dismissively toward Yeji before turning his full attention to you.

You took a step closer, your heart pounding in your chest. “I’m tired of this, Hyunjin. Tired of you messing with my feelings. You think it’s funny, don’t you?”

“Messing with your feelings? I’m just having fun,” he replied, crossing his arms. “If you can’t handle it, that’s your problem.”

“It’s not just fun for me!” you snapped, your voice rising. “I care about you, and you act like I don’t exist when you’re with her!”

Hyunjin raised an eyebrow, surprise flickering across his face for a moment. “Care about me? You really think that’s how this works? You think I owe you something?”

“No, but I thought we had something,” you shot back, your heart racing. “You’re just going to throw that away because it’s convenient?”

“Throw it away?” he echoed, his expression shifting to annoyance. “You act like I’m the one playing games. You’re the one getting jealous over nothing.”

“It’s not nothing! You know how I feel!” you exclaimed, desperation creeping into your voice.

He stepped closer, a teasing glint in his eyes. “Then why don’t you just tell me you like me? Admit it.”

Your heart raced, the truth hanging heavy in the air between you. “I’m just tired of you being a bully.”

He smirked, his gaze locking onto yours with a predatory intensity. “A bully? Or just someone who knows how to have fun?”

“Both,” you replied, your voice trembling. “But you don’t have to be this way.”

“Maybe I like it this way,” he shot back, his voice dropping slightly, making your pulse quicken. “Maybe I like getting a reaction out of you.”

You glared at him, anger and desire warring within you. “You know what im done, I can’t do this anymore”

The confrontation with Hyunjin had left you seething, your heart racing with a mix of anger and something more confusing. You couldn’t shake the feeling of being pulled in by his magnetism, despite the cruel taunts he hurled your way. You turned away, trying to catch your breath as you walked down the dimly lit hallway, your thoughts a chaotic storm.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Hyunjin’s voice called out from behind you, dripping with mockery. You felt the familiar flutter of nerves in your stomach but forced yourself to keep walking, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a reaction.

You turned a corner, only to find him blocking your path, leaning casually against the wall with that infuriating smirk. “Running away again? You really can’t take it, can you?”

“Why do you always have to be such a jerk?” you shot back, frustration bubbling over. “I’m done with your games, Hyunjin.”

He pushed off the wall and stepped closer, invading your personal space. The air between you crackled with tension, and you could feel the heat radiating off him. “Games? You think this is a game?” His tone turned serious, and you could see the flicker of something darker in his eyes. “You’re the one who’s playing with fire.”

You swallowed hard, the proximity igniting something primal within you. “I’m not scared of you,” you said defiantly, though the way your heart raced betrayed your words.

“Is that so?” he asked, raising an eyebrow as he stepped even closer, until you could feel the heat of his body against yours. “Then why are you breathing so heavily? You’re telling me you don’t feel anything right now?” You opened your mouth to respond, but he closed the gap between you, capturing your lips with his in a forceful kiss. It was unexpected, and you gasped against him, your body reacting before your mind could catch up. His lips moved against yours with a fierce urgency, dominating the kiss in a way that left you breathless.

“Hyunjin,” you murmured, trying to pull away, but he gripped your waist, holding you in place as he deepened the kiss. His tongue slid against yours, igniting a fire deep within you. You felt a rush of heat surge through your body, your resolve beginning to crumble.

“Admit it,” he breathed against your lips, his eyes dark and intense. “You want this just as much as I do.” You fought against the tide of desire threatening to sweep you away. “I don’t want anything from you,” you said, but the words felt hollow, barely above a whisper.

“Liar,” he replied, smirking as he leaned in again, his lips brushing against your neck, sending shivers down your spine. “I can feel how much you want me. You’ve wanted this since the moment we started.”

Before you could protest, he turned you around, pushing you against the wall with a possessive grip. The cool surface sent a rush of adrenaline through you, heightening every sensation as he leaned in closer, his breath hot against your ear. “Let’s see how far you’re willing to go.”

“Hyunjin, don’t—” you started, but he cut you off with another heated kiss, his hands sliding under your shirt to explore your skin. The sensation of his fingertips against your waist sent your mind spiraling, and you couldn’t help but lean into him, craving more.

“Just stop talking,” he murmured against your lips, his eyes dark with lust as he continued his exploration, pushing your shirt higher until it bunched around your ribs. His fingers traced the curve of your waist, teasingly moving toward your chest.

“Just let go,” he urged, his voice low and sultry. “Trust me. I’ll take care of you.” You hesitated for a moment, your heart racing as you weighed your options, but the heat of the moment drowned out any lingering doubts. “Fine,” you said, your voice shaky but resolute. “But don’t think this means I’m falling for your tricks.”

His smirk widened, and he pressed his body against yours, pinning you against the wall. “Whatever you say,” he replied, his lips crashing down on yours again, more demanding this time. He was intoxicating, every kiss sending shockwaves of desire coursing through you, making it impossible to think straight.Hyunjin’s hands roamed lower, teasing the waistband of your skirt, fingers brushing against your skin with a skillful touch that made you gasp. “You’re so responsive,” he murmured, his lips trailing down your neck. “I love how easily you fall apart for me.”

“Shut up,” you breathed, but the words lacked conviction as he pressed kisses along your collarbone, igniting a fire deep within you.He grinned against your skin, the sound of his laughter sending heat to your cheeks. “Make me,” he taunted, his fingers finally slipping under your skirt, finding the edge of your panties. The sensation of his fingers grazing your thigh sent a rush of pleasure coursing through you, and you gasped, arching into him.

“Hyunjin,” you whimpered, feeling your resolve slipping away as he teased you, fingers brushing against your core. The thrill of being caught in this moment—of giving in to him—made your heart race.

“You like that?” he asked, his voice dripping with arrogance as he began to rub gentle circles against your panties. “You want me to keep going?”

“Y-yes,” you managed to stutter, your body betraying you as the heat pooled low in your stomach.

He smirked, a wicked gleam in his eyes. “Good girl,” he replied, his fingers sliding beneath the fabric, the contact sending shockwaves of pleasure through you. You gasped as he pressed against your sensitive clit, his fingers moving with a slowness that made you ache for more.

“Hyunjin, please,” you begged, your voice barely a whisper. “I need more.”

He chuckled darkly, clearly enjoying your desperation. “I knew you’d come around. Just a little more,” he teased, his fingers working magic as they circled and rubbed against you, each movement sending you higher and higher toward the edge.You felt yourself unraveling, the pleasure building to an unbearable peak as he continued his relentless assault. “I’m so close,” you gasped, feeling the tension coiling tighter and tighter.

“Let go for me,” he urged, his voice low and sultry as he increased the pace, his fingers moving faster against you. “I want to see you fall apart.”

With a final thrust of his fingers, the world exploded around you. Pleasure crashed over you like a tidal wave, and you cried out his name, your body shaking as you reached your peak. The intensity of your orgasm left you breathless, and you clung to him, feeling the aftershocks ripple through your body.

Hyunjin watched you with a smug satisfaction, his eyes dark and filled with desire as he leaned in closer. “You see? This is what happens when you stop pretending,” he murmured, his voice a sultry whisper against your ear. You swallowed hard, trying to catch your breath, but he wasn’t done with you yet. He stepped back slightly, enough to let you catch your breath, but the lustful glint in his eyes made it clear that he was far from finished. “Now it’s my turn,” he said, a wicked grin spreading across his face.

Before you could respond, he pushed you onto the desk, the cool surface pressing against your back as he climbed on top of you, trapping you beneath him. “Let’s see how good you really are,” he said, his voice low and commanding.You looked up at him, heart racing, feeling a mix of excitement and apprehension as he hovered over you. “Hyunjin, wait—” you started, but he silenced you with another fierce kiss, his hands gripping your wrists and pinning them above your head.

“I told you to stop talking,” he growled, his breath hot against your lips. “Just enjoy it.”

He leaned down, capturing your lips again, his body pressing against yours with an intensity that made your head spin. You could feel the heat radiating off him, the weight of his body a tantalizing reminder of his power over you.

As he moved against you, the friction ignited a new wave of desire, and you gasped against his mouth. “Hyunjin,” you moaned, your body arching into his, craving every ounce of him.

“See? You’re starting to understand,” he murmured, his lips trailing down your neck as he continued to grind against you, the sensations sending you spiraling again. “You want this just as much as I do.”

“Just shut up and kiss me,” you replied breathlessly, your body responding instinctively to him as he captured your lips once more, the kiss deepening as he thrust his hips against yours.

“Now you’re getting it,” he growled, the thrill of power evident in his tone. His hands roamed over your body, exploring every curve as he lost himself in you, a dangerous hunger driving his every move.He pressed harder against you, the desk creaking beneath the weight of your bodies as he continued to claim you, his kisses growing more urgent, more possessive. You could feel the heat rising within you again, every nerve ending alight with desire as he moved against you with relentless intensity.

“Hyunjin,” you gasped, your body responding to his every thrust, the tension building once more. You could feel the world around you fading, leaving only the two of you lost in this moment of reckless passion.

“Let go,” he commanded again, his voice low and filled with need. “I want to see you fall apart again.”

With every thrust, every kiss, you felt yourself teetering on the edge, the fire within you raging hotter than ever. “I’m ..so close,” you breathed, the urgency in your voice unmistakable.

“Good,” he replied, a dark satisfaction glimmering in his eyes as he quickened his pace, his body moving against yours with an unyielding rhythm. “Now, cum for me.”

With that final push, the world exploded around you once more, pleasure crashing over you as you cried out his name, the heat consuming you as you surrendered completely to the moment.

Hyunjin followed closely behind, his body shuddering as he reached his own peak, filling you completely as the two of you came together in a wave of ecstasy.As the waves of pleasure subsided, you lay there, breathless and spent, the tension that had ignited between you two dissolving into a warm afterglow.

Hyunjin leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “See? I knew you’d come around,” he said, a smug grin on his face, the arrogance in his tone unmistakable. You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the smile that tugged at your lips, knowing that despite everything, this connection was addictive.

One thing you knew for sure though - you couldnt keep up with this much longer.

ఌseries masterlist

#hyunjin imagines #hyunjin x reader #kpop smut #hwang hyunjin x reader #hyunjin smut #hwang hyunjin #stray kids smut

153 notes · View notes

iveriee · 1 year ago

Note

What about a one-shot where yan!Tom kidnaps reader and tries to make a point of the whole "you'll never escape me now" thing but reader goes "why would I want to leave? I love you" or something like that?

★;ANSWER: That's a really great idea! Once again, i apologise if this is rushed.

★;CATEGORY: A yandere x reader

★;PAIRING: Yan!Tom Riddle x Gn!Willing!Reader

★;SUMMARY: In which...you are trapped inside the Chamber of Secrets.. yet you do not seem to mind.

★;P.S: This contains severe mentions of obsessive and toxic behaviour, as well as stalking and kidnapping. This is only for entertainment purposes and I do not encourage such acts. My immediate thought after seeing this was, of course, the chamber of secrets, because what better place is there for such a situation? I apologise for the quality of this fic. I forgot to mention this in my introduction, but English is NOT my first language. I've been going through some complications with my friends, so i once again apologise for the length and quality .

Your eyes unlatched open. This was not [Your house] common room. Your back nudged a wall seemingly made out of archaic stone—Frigid wind smeared across you like an unyielding poltergeist, leaving your frame quivering. Upon the restoration of your vision, You had begun to make comprehension that you were in a perplexing chamber, all alone. Yet that was perhaps, only an illusion. As anomalous as it was, There was something —perhaps someone other than yourself that sauntered these glacial walls.

You had to think properly—Could this have been a mere jest? Or perhaps a mere dream? The thought seemed to birth solace somehow, like a cerulean lagoon in the midst of a withered desert, promising yet untrue. Your hands, of course—attempted to reach out for your wand only to met by your pockets being vacant, However, as some say, when one door closes, the other opens. In your case, it was no door that opened.

Footsteps, yes, indeed. Humanoid footsteps seemed to reach your ears—It would have been better if you were oblivious—if you did not know that something was here—One last resort was to sprint out, however, you had never been quite the runner. Faintly yet surely, you made your way across..this place, (whatever it was) as if a monstrosity might leap out out of the shadows and slit you to litter, until you were the barren dust of [Name] [Last Name].

Your heart almost concluded...There was someone's breath wandering above your shoulders—And henceforth when you turned your gaze behind—It was Tom-Freaking-Riddle! How amusing.. If you had perhaps attempted to tell such a thing, people would blaze into laughter—The suspension that this was a mere dream had become truly something you'd consider—and yet that was indeed reassuring in a way. Nobody possessing a right mind at Hogwarts would ever listen to your accusations. If you got out of here, that is. Fixing your vision and harbouring aspiration that this was a hallucination, It was, surely, him. It was that bewitching face of his that made your cheeks soak crimson—No, this was not the time. Your frame shuddered and henceforth, with a pond of courage flourishing inside of you. You met his gaze.

To gaze at his eyes was to gaze at a boundless puzzle—you could never comprehend it. Indeed, his last was Riddle afterall and you could not make of a reasoning when he smirked. His hands etched their passage to your cheeks—Perhaps lovingly?. No...That could not have been it. You aspired to question him...Why were you here? And quite even so, Why was he here? Yet words collapsed in your throat, never quite arriving at your mouth.

"Do you perhaps plan to stare all day long, my love?" He questioned, striding nearer. "Indeed if you strive to do so, i do not mind. However, i suppose I owe you an explanation, don't i?" He added curtly, his gaze weakening you like thunderous currents of the Black Lake. "It is quite complex to say very the least, So i must warn you to expect astonishment. [Name] [Last Name], i...love you." He murmured. The word 'Love' seemed,perhaps, unhomely to him, Your reasoning being when his face flashed a string of vulnerability that vanished in mere seconds. "In more accurate words, I desire you." Of course. It was mere desire, wasn't it? His words stung deeper than anticipated. "As you are well aware, i do not particularly enjoy sharing what is mine, and henceforth, here you are—locked up in the Chamber of Secrets, all mine with no route of escape whatsoever."

"Why would I even ought to escape?" You interrogated, tilting your head to the side. "I'd be content with residing here." You added in perplexity. "I suppose anyone would accept you being their kidnapper." To drown in honesty, You did not mind your current situation, Perhaps—You 'loved' him as well? No it could not have been such a feeling...He was a mere stranger to you.. Yet you felt inclined to stay, to embrace him, to be completely and utterly his..

His lips parted yet no words were heard. Never had you ever aspired that Tom Riddle would be astonished at your words. Of course, he collected himself after a mere second. The silence was serrating, like a honed dagger slicing through you, yet no pleas were heard from your throat. He grinned wickedly and tilted nearer, your noses bordering eachother as his hands seized your chin, angling it upwards. "I suppose I must reward you for your acceptance."

#harry potter #hp fandom #tom marvolo riddle #tom riddle #yandere tom riddle #tom riddle x reader #wizarding world #yandere tom riddle x reader #yandere x reader #yandere #willing!reader #hp fanfic #voldemort

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 7 months ago

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WIBTA if I played a matchmaker for my best friend & her crush?

So, background. I (M28) have a best friend, Kate (F24). We have great friendship going on, and we have never considered going romantic/sexual; we're not each other's type and we're both 100% content with being friends. The thing is, Kate has had extreme bad luck with men. She's rather attractive and popular with men, which led to some atrocious experiences with various garbage men, mostly prior to our meeting. She actually said I helped her realize her self-worth and made her less prone to diving headfirst into toxic flings, which is honestly one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. Then, Kate started chatting with Frank (M, probably mid-20s). All three of us are members of a Star Wars discussion group, since we're all fans (and Star Wars is basically what brought me and Kate together). Frank is genuinely nice, intelligent, mature, well-read and overall a great guy. We've had a few run-ins, so he knows that I exist, but I can't really say we're friends, although we probably would if we interacted more. Since then, Kate has been regularly gushing about how great Frank is and how he's the only man she could imagine having a genuine, long-term relationship with - and honestly, I'd be happy as hell if she finally settled with someone more mellow and mature. The problem is that Frank is passive as hell and probably wouldn't realize a girl is into him even if she wrote it on a banner and hung it in front of his house. And Kate isn't willing to make a move because she's full of doubts, especially if all her past disastrous flings make her unable to be genuinely in love with someone - she's also on the aromantic spectrum, which makes the whole thing even more complicated. So they're basically tiptoeing around each other all the time with neither one willing to make a move. Now here's my dilemma. I often have the urge to just text Frank privately, tell him that Kate would be willing to "risk" a relationship with him, perhaps send some screenshots of all the nice things she has said about him, just to finally motivate him to initiate something and break that stalemate between them. I've jokingly suggested this to Kate, and she strictly forbade me from doing that. Despite that, I want to do it, because I genuinely believe those two would be happy together and that Frank would be able to calm Kate's temper and change her life for the better, after all those horrible experiences. On the other hand, I'm aware I'd be acting behind her back and possibly betray her trust if I intervened, although I'm pretty sure I could keep it a secret between Frank and I.

TL;DR: My best friend Kate has a lot of bad experiences with garbage men. Recently, she fell in love with a smart, mature guy Frank who would be a great match for her, but neither of them is willing to make a move to initiate something. I've been considering to text Frank privately and tell him how Kate feels about him, but I'm afraid that acting behind Kate's back like this is a crappy thing to do.

WIBTA if I texted Frank and hopefully got things into motion?

#aita #am i the asshole

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anantaru · 1 year ago

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what would a situationship with scara be like?

cw. situationship, toxic by britney spears, gn! reader

situationship with scaramouche where he, and such general statement goes without noting further, wouldn't see nor care much about the surprising benefits he got and achieved the moment he spent more time with you— insignificant to how little you saw each other, settling, fleeting instances passing by in a second, strikingly did he not like nor crave the bottling happiness he felt with you, and how could you possibly blame him? when he never felt it before.

while, precisely look before you leap, but the man wasn't particularly as mean to you as you thought he would be, while on the same dime, did scaramouche always make sure that he didn't see this rasping situation with the both of you as anything more than what it actually was.

situationship with scaramouche where he wouldn't reach out to you in days, more often weeks, don't expect him to ask about your day either, treat you to a meal or act interested in any certain topics you might like to share with him out of affecting kindness. following your meet ups, and we will go into this more in depth, but kuni will usually wholly discard any crawling emotions he might perceive during it, and make it his own self protecting duty to part ways with you as soon as possible.

situationship with scaramouche where he will suddenly, in the middle of the night, knock on your door— unannounced and not making sense of anything he would say or declare, already being fully aware that there was no chance in this bloody scenario that you would ever turn him down nor refuse him entrance to your home. it's those mesmerizing eyes, and how he moves his lips slightly to indicate a smile, although fairly fake, it's impressive enough to easily wrap you around his finger.

situationship with scaramouche where he wouldn't engage in loads of small talk with you ever— if anything, he'd absolutely conquer the first chance he'd get to quickly place his lips on top of yours, so neither of you could voice anything. but, beware, he wasn't one to play with nor was the man stupid enough to dispense of everything you'd do. assuming you want to feel that way, scaramouche showers you with a sense of false security and a shadow like sensation of an emotion one might mistake for attraction, or genuine care.

situationship with scaramouche who, in plain sight, found you to be angelic, enchanting and easy on his pair of eyes, yet inwardly he'd think about it, he'd never tell you. from the stronger perception did he fantasize about it too when you weren't with him. you might wonder now how he'd act if you were to do something more reckless, for example, flirt with another person in front of him.

out of spite? perhaps, and maybe playing out the jealousy card wasn't a smart move either, but you were dying to find out if he was saying the truth back then— when he assured you, over and over, that he doesn't care if you were dating or becoming intimate with others aside from him, that you aren't that special to him, or special at all to further prove his false utterance. and never will be anything more in his life.

situationship with scaramouche who steps and contradicts himself within his own manner of thinking, when he notices that you were awfully too comfortable with another person who wasn't him. how dare you, he spat, anger squeezes the air from his lungs.

what he will do now wasn't a traditional, "stepping towards you and telling the person to leave you alone" no, not with him, scaramouche has a different perspective or solution whenever you were stepping away from how he wanted or expected you to act.

he has been at this long enough that he doesn't argue with you, scaramouche knows it'll only make things more complicated and jarring, and he is aware that this loneliness inside of him will forever be around, not even you could conquer it.

it's there, burning, gnawing itself into his cold flesh and limbs, giving him pains, and hurting his wounds. scaramouche recognized that it wouldn't change and even if he attempted to give this a go, between the both of you, he'd rather catch himself dead than messing up something that could become more, genuinely hurting you, even though he wasn't aware that he already did hurt you enough.

at the end of the day, he doesn't see you bawl your eyes out.

situationship with scaramouche who will easily lie and sneakily manufacture a false emergency you cannot cast aside, not when you're entirely stricken with a deep emotion of worry as all of your anxieties came tumbling back towards you, actively bleeding all over your skin as you sigh in despair.

at long last, what you did not expect, was scaramouche who had fooled you yet again and your face hardened, quivering in frustration at this situation you cannot possibly escape. but there was silence now, a gut destroying agony, no further explanations or broods he had even attempted to voice— the dark indigo haired couldn't even fathom that this might be the right way, simply conversation, so easily said yet so tremendously hard to do.

all you had found was the man who drove you insane, again and again, yet you cannot keep your hands off him, it was futile, and he's hiding his true self behind those lies and intrigues— but you get better at it, discerning and listening between his wording, a slow uncoiling of faint resentment flashing before your very eyes.

scaramouche keeps all his secrets untold to you as he touches your warm skin, it's different to his, and he bites down on his bottom lip when he recognizes the pacifying feeling rousing inside his chest again.

for he waits for you to unfold first, what you desire when he kisses your lips, what he was blocking beneath his heart, he cannot make peace with it— it's unspoken when he undresses your body and leaves you vulnerable for his eyes to feast on.

frankly, it was little by little breaking him apart, the possibility that you will be happy and fulfilled with somebody else. scaramouche falls into pieces from within if he wasn't close to you, he touches, kisses, even worships you if it makes you stay.

in the final analysis, he finds solace and melts into it, at the simply fantasy of something that could be more, but never will be more.

#scaramouche x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #scaramouche x you #genshin x you #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #scaramouche smut #genshin drabbles #genshin impact drabbles

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princess-of-the-corner · 29 days ago

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Tiger-Bee Timeline realization but Choe & Juleka would probably cram 'so much' relationship drama into a small amount of time.

Cos for both of them their hero identities are kind of a new lease on life, getting to be a new person, someone they like kind of deal.

For while QB is a bit boastful and blunt at times, she's generally regarded as a good, brave and worthwhile person and she's doing something constructive, that doesn't contradict how she was raised (Because no one in her life tried to shape her perception of what to do if she ever got magic powers.)

While for Juleka its confidence, strength, the spotlight, a chance to embrace her every wild impulse and instinct without reservation of restraint. She's not meek or cursed to be unseen here, so she's very bold and free. (& also confident enough to try and maybe consider making a move with Rose.)

So both of them are very inclined to embrace their powers, roles and new identities and have the freedom to spend a lot of time in them. & overall I imagine their dynamic is pretty good if unpredictable at times.

But!

As said, Juleka has had a crush on Rose since forever, and the bolstered confidence means either as Violet Tigress or Juleka she maybe makes an attempt. But in the former case, she's a bit too much, and in the latter, well unfortunate timing but Prince Ali is visiting.

oops.

So either way Juleka's not doing so hot, but then there's QB who can be a little clingy but offers a lot of similar adoring-ness to Rose. & they get along so well anyway and- cue rebound.

Big oof.

Chloe's inclined to fall hard and fast, she got a dearth of deep or healthy emotional connections. Adrien's the closest she has to a stable/healthy relationship that isn't either toxic and exploitative (her parents) or skewed by warped power dynamics (Sabrina). & Violet Tigress is her chosen partner, they 'must' be perfect for each other.

But then Ali leaves, and Rose kind of puts together what Juleka was going for, or gains the confidence to make a move of her own and well. Juleka's love Rose forever, and oh no, this isn't fair to QB, but- well technically they're different people right, personas at least, no that's not right, but.

Ooh dear.

Suffice to say things would be capital A, Awkward and given both of their respective backgrounds or interests, I could easily see the Tiger-Bee duo as having agreed to do interviews earlier. But by the time that rolls around their relationship is at best filed under the "Its complicated" tag.

But then if their IDs come out if only to each other, then there's another whole layer to it. Cos even if Chloe's been improving as a result of QB, or perhaps no improving as Chloe (She can compartmentalize her identities, the obligations of QB the hero & Chloe are different, different!) Well now that's another added layer of complexity so if they weren't tagged as such before-hand, they sure are now!

Then imagine this all happening over the course of like, half a season.

the best option is poly

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circledemptiness · 1 month ago

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Can't Get You Out Of My Head – Chapter 1

Fandom: Batman (Arkham Knight) Pairing: Edward Nigma (The Riddler) x Reader Rating: Explicit +18 Tags: Angst, Romance

Locked away in Arkham Asylum, the ghost of your complicated relationship with the Riddler still torments you –until an unforeseen reunion gives you the chance to exorcise your past.

✦ Chapter index ✦ Read on AO3

Hey Eddie, you’ve been inside my mind an awful lot, lately.

Your eyes open painfully as you emerge from a restless slumber. It isn’t the shy sun that woke you up, but the inmates screaming bloody murder at the top of their lungs, the guards shouting back threats and orders, banging against the crappy cell walls to scare the lunatics away. You sigh deeply, a tired sound of defeat, as you massage your temples and swallow thickly, desperate for a corner of peace. But there isn’t much to look at or hold onto in your cramped, filthy cell, devoured by rust and humidity.

The hand that was rubbing soothing circles on your forehead falls heavily onto the nasty, uncomfortable mattress. The familiar knot in your throat, which once burned and made silent tears roll down your cheeks, is merely uncomfortable now; you think that people must be right in the end –time must heal all wounds. Or something like that. Perhaps you’ve simply become numb to the utter hell that is Arkham Asylum. After all, you’ve been locked in here for the past eight months. Would be sad if you hadn’t gotten used to this new normal by now.

Breakfast, like every damn morning, has a rancid aftertaste of nightmare. It marks yet another day stuck in this shithole, surrounded by poor bastards who are either brain-dead or wish they were. Drawing aimless shapes with your spoon in your porridge, you glance at the other inmates in the cafeteria. There are the difficult ones, the ones who bite hard and yell even louder —that is, until a guard tases them, beats them, or puts them in solitary; there are the overmedicated ones, who are nothing but the shell of the person they once were, thanks to the chemicals pumped into their system, drooling over themselves and essentially turned mute; and there are the quiet ones who just hope to serve their time without attracting attention, without getting into trouble, fading into the cold walls. You belong to the latter group.

Once you’re done with your quick and disappointing breakfast, which you’re not entirely sure isn’t cardboard, you get rid of your tray and promptly retreat to your cell, under the curious or apathetic gazes of the other inmates. Your fingertips graze the soot-covered walls as you close your eyes, trying to escape to a world far away from Arkham –a world you know all too well. Clunking noises of machinery and electronic orchestras flood your memories, while toxic green lights flash behind your eyelids, replacing the screams and general chaos all around; you hum softly, letting your mind wander freely through familiar visions of the past.

Hey Eddie, I’ve been thinking about you and I a lot.

Your bed creaks infernally loudly as your body falls onto it, lethargic and empty, stripped of all life and desire. Rolling onto your side, you mechanically pull your knees to your chest, burying your head in the cocoon you've created, holding your fatigued body. Deep breaths.

Every day gets better, you convince yourself; you have to, or you'll lose more than just your freedom in this rotten place. Despite your most valiant efforts not to teeter on the edge of insanity, there are always days like today when bitterness takes over, leaving something sour in your mouth –tastes like regrets and shameful memories of him.

Would be so much easier if you hated him, but you know that isn't true. Not when you're fighting so hard to remember him, remember the features of his face that time has dulled. Memories of him come in flashes, and burn like them, too. Your mind seems to have done a spectacular job of erasing him, erasing everything about him that hurts. But your heart resists, stubbornly refusing to let go. A voracious passion that stirs your innards unpleasantly, like a sickness, a plague that nothing can cure.

A loud, yet friendly knock on your door snaps you back to the grim reality, pulling you out of your distressed episode. You shift in bed, grunting at the unsolicited visitor as you drag your body to the door, rubbing your bright, tear-filled eyes on the sleeve of your beige facility shirt. Another inmate greets you with a meek smile, leaning against the metallic frame. His name is Dennis, a broad, tall man, who you can never quite tell if he's "fully there" anymore. His voice has a sing-song quality, much too cheerful for your gloomy mood.

"Wanna watch TV? Better than spending the day sulking, or what?" he snorts.

You nod. Yeah, yeah, you want to watch the damn TV. Why not.

Hey Eddie, I can’t get you out of my head, you know.

You absentmindedly watch the dusty screen in the hobby room, surrounded by other companions huddled in front of the idiotic romcom. Some of them laugh far too loudly at a joke from last decade, and even Dennis seems amused beyond reason. Nice distraction, you suppose; too bad it isn’t nearly good enough to truly pull you out of your train of thought –or really, make you laugh. But wait, there’s a romantic scene now. The lunatics whistle and coo with "aww"s and "oww"s as the characters kiss and embrace, and it makes you feel funny, shifting uncomfortably in your seat. You cross your arms over your chest and frown as something tingles in a special part of your heart, like it’s piercing through you.

Images flash through your mind, as if someone is pinching your brain at strategic points, fueled by a cruel need to torment you. Pain shoots down to your stomach, tying a knot so tightly that you swear something’s going to burst in your guts, spilling its contents onto the damn plastic chair. Each heartbeat stings, feeling like someone’s driving a nail into your bones, and yet you don’t scream; you merely endure the sharp memories that now feel like insults.

You become an unwilling spectator of a movie you wish you could forget entirely. Can almost feel his hands caressing the back of your neck. His adoring gaze silently pleading with you. The taste of his chapped lips.

You look down at your feet. Dennis nudges your elbow and offers you one of his trademark dead-inside smiles, and you nod, returning a soft grin. Fucking Dennis.

The pain doesn’t stop. That feeling, it burns your throat, closing it to the point where it’s nearly impossible to swallow. You can’t quite describe the precise nature of the torrent of emotions flooding through you –a filthy mix of sadness, regret, spite, and fury. Feels like they grow in intensity and violence the longer you let them fester. Digging your fingernails into your forearms, you hold yourself until your knuckles turn white, half-moons carved into your skin.

There’s a static noise in your brain now as you gaze far too intently at the once-white, now greyish wall in front of you. There’s a stain on the wall, probably from an insect that has been smashed not so terribly long ago. It doesn’t even look all that wrong, with all the filth surrounding it –surrounding you. Probably how you feel too, right now. An insect smashed against the wall. That’s how it all started anyway, isn’t it? Eight months ago.

Hey Eddie, you still haunt me.

You witnessed the rise and fall of the Riddler. His brilliant intellect shining through impeccably crafted designs, each cunning scheme infused with a passion that only he possessed. You also observed his sanity regressing to the most miserable depths of delusion, nurtured by an ardent hatred and an insatiable desire for revenge. And somewhere right in the middle, you were there.

Once his nameless assistant, you poured your sweat and blood into his cause –a cause you somewhat believed in. Not so much in the chaos and violence he spread, but in the exhilarating thrill of being so close to his glory. It was addictive.

To you, he appeared as an angel made of light, a deity among the mediocre plebeians, and you were merely a mortal, worshiping him reverently if it meant catching a glimpse of his triumphant smile, witnessing his success, and basking in all his magnificence. You lived for his design –perhaps you lived for him, really; after all, you always felt like an empty shell, forever lacking purpose in your life.

You still can’t pinpoint the exact moment you became aware of your own feelings, but you do remember the intensity of your passion for him, how it burned inside you. As a result, quite sadly, you excused his constant moodiness and frustrated insults, glossing over his explosive anger and unwelcome ruthlessness. You never really did anything to deserve such treatment, but, truthfully, a single triumphant smile from him was all it took to make you forget everything else. The sparkles in his emerald eyes kept you from leaving, even though you considered it quite frequently.

Surprisingly, over time, he even grew accustomed to your presence, visibly appreciated your patience. You were no longer just a nameless, burdensome assistant. Most importantly, he loved that you loved him. Your balmy and encouraging words, along with your compliance and submissive nature, filled a void he desperately tried to conceal and ignore –a deep-rooted illness that plagued him. Your love was nurturing, your love was safe, your love was unconditional.

Progressively, almost insidiously, the boundaries of your once strictly professional relationship became unclear and undefined. Pet names were occasionally exchanged, a chaste touch sometimes concluded the day, and deeper, more intimate conversations became less and less unusual. This only fueled the ever-growing, ferocious fire burning inside you, and although you remained starved for more, you suspected (well, hoped, really) that he felt the same.

One fateful night would forever alter the nature of your relationship –or so you thought. You can still recall the infernal noise of machinery growling and screeching in the iron hell of his hideout, vivid green lights glaring against the walls and casting strange silhouettes, while steam hissed from heavy pipes like devilish snakes. In the center of this almost arena-like space stood a terrifying giant of metal –a golem designed to assure Edward’s triumph and crush his mediocre, insufferable caped opponent.

Edward screamed as his creation came to life, a raw yell of success, primal and visceral in essence, expressing all his excitement, hard work, and furious desire for revenge. Finally, it was complete –the ultimate weapon that would surely lead him to victory. And you were standing right next to him, bearing witness to this moment in history, your heart racing so frantically in your chest that it felt like it might explode.

But what truly pushes you over the edge is the way he looked at you –with the brightest eyes, two emeralds glowing in the dim, iron-clad room. His gaze, so intense and almost childlike in its essence, conveyed more than words ever could. And when he smiled at you, wide and full of teeth, a smile so pure and honest, you felt it deep in your core: there was no appropriate response, nothing that could capture the moment. Words have become utterly meaningless.

It happened almost organically, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. In one fluid motion, you moved toward his enthralled form, your hands reaching up to cup his face. Before he could react, you pulled him into a kiss –tender and chaste, yet it only felt natural. For a moment, surprise froze him in place, his eyes wide and blinking owlishly, but then you felt him relax in your embrace. One arm snaked around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer as he kissed you back with the unrestrained passion of the emotionally starved man that he was.

His chapped lips tasted of dirt and sweat, the remnants of days spent in hard labor; his scent was just as raw –pungent and animalistic. You wish you could call it repulsive, but it really was the exact opposite; every part of him ignited a fire deep behind your navel, a heat you never knew you could feel, and couldn’t have imagined needing so intensely –like water to drink or air to breathe.

Swallowing each other’s gasps, sharing the same breath, you became a single creature of desire and affection. You lost yourself in him, savoring the warmth of his hand as it roamed over your back –both pulling you closer and exploring the softness of your skin beneath your shirt, while his other hand gripped the nape of your neck, fingers tangled in your hair, as if holding on to prevent you from vanishing. If only he knew how far from the truth that was.

You deepened the kiss, savoring the softness of his tongue and the taste of his mouth, all while tugging desperately at his filthy shirt, never wanting to let him go. In that moment, you swear you could have died right there, in his arms, within the metal Eden he had crafted with his own two hands –as if he were both Creator and the first Man, and you, his creation and other half.

But you didn’t die, in the end, and the piercing shriek of an alarm tore you both from that otherworldly embrace. His hands still held you by the waist as he looked at you through half-lidded eyes, the green of his irises nearly swallowed by an obsidian sea. His parted lips, swollen from your shared passion, his flushed cheeks, and his soft panting mirrored the storm within you. You had no doubt you looked much the same, your hands still cradling his face, thumbs gently tracing circles over his fatigued skin. His gaze held so much –so much left unsaid– but in your heart, you wanted to believe there was a confession there, silent but true. In the end, you never knew.

He left the arena eventually, drawn away by the pressing matters that demanded his attention. After all, there was still so much work to do –his vengeance couldn’t wait, his victory couldn’t wait. But for a fleeting moment, you had truly felt like a part of it, part of the grand design he had spent years crafting and perfecting. You were wrong, of course. And when he pulled his body away from yours, stealing all the warmth you had shared, you felt cold and lonely once again.

Neither of you ever mentioned the events of that night again, even though it left you with even more doubts and questions. He didn’t try to kiss you after that, which you had almost expected. What you hadn’t anticipated was that all the small gestures of affection –his occasional touches throughout the day, his terms of endearment, your intimate conversations– would stop altogether as well. Now, every time he was around you, he seemed conflicted, pensive, troubled; a sight obvious even to you. More doubts plagued your mind and twisted your heart: was the answer he was searching for not as clear to him as it was to you? Did he not love you back?

You had spent months trying to decipher the emotional riddle that was Edward Nigma, and you were convinced you had him all figured out by now. You shared entire evenings together, exchanging secrets and deep memories he had never revealed to anyone else, baring his soul to you like never before. You wanted to believe in his love so deeply that there was no room for doubt in your mind. To you, this passionate kiss only confirmed what you had always believed –or rather, what you thought you knew. Were you truly that blind?

For weeks, or perhaps months, you chased after him, chased after his love, with painful patience and delusion. There was something profoundly pathetic in the way you offered him a professional, polite distance while drowning him in flattery and praise. You encouraged him even when it wasn’t needed, all in the desperate hope of seeing half a smirk or even receiving a slight nod in your direction, which you welcomed with the devotion of a dog wagging its tail for an undeserving master.

A few times, you tried to rekindle the faint spark that once flickered between you. But when his only response to your fingers brushing against his shoulders was to flinch and turn away, redirecting his attention elsewhere, you realized that the fire had long since burned out. The rejection never stopped hurting, no matter how many times you tried to subtly seduce him.

Eventually, even you grew weary of his mercurial temper. You can’t quite recall the final catalyst, but one night, you decided to choose yourself instead. You ended the exhausting song and dance you had performed for the faintest glimpse of his attention. He had been starving you emotionally, while you kept him full and glowing. Surely, even you deserved better.

And so, at the end of your tasks, you simply wished him goodnight, as you always did. He turned his head in your direction and gave you a cold nod, never offering more than a fleeting acknowledgment. As he always did. But this time, it felt different. That night, you began mourning what had never truly existed.

You began rationalizing, compartmentalizing –anything to stop yourself from drowning in parasitic thoughts. You flirted with him, and it escalated into a kiss. That’s all it ever was. The reality of your relationship came crashing down, shattering inside you, sending tremors through your body with the bitterness of withdrawal as you processed it all, alone in your bed. You knew you had to end this charade and reclaim ownership of your thoughts, your feelings, your life.

You stopped wishing him goodnight and no longer brought him fresh water when he neglected his own needs. You stopped asking about his latest creations, and stopped praising him constantly. Gradually, day by day, you withdrew emotionally, picking up the pieces of your heart scattered in the aftermath, protecting yourself as you built walls around your feelings.

The most intriguing reaction came then; his behavior shifted, almost imperceptibly at first. One evening, after another long day of work, as you silently gathered your belongings to leave the iron room, his voice echoed faintly behind you –a hesitant, “Goodnight?”, which sounded almost like a needy question. Was he offended that you had withdrawn your small gestures of care? Hurt, perhaps? You weren’t entirely sure. But the next day, Edward was in a foul mood, marked by bouts of misplaced anger and frustration. And the day after that, it only worsened. The more you withheld your affection, the more his temper soured. It made sense, really -he loved feeling loved. You might have laughed at the irony, if only your heart wasn’t aching so deeply.

Hey Eddie, was it really all inside my head?

As days stretched into weeks, the tension between you grew unbearable. Edward’s tantrums became an almost daily ritual, his anger igniting at the smallest –and, frankly, often absurd– mistakes. Yet, through it all, you remained composed, offering only quiet apologies, fully aware that this wasn’t about your errors or submission. You refused to give in to his provocations, unwilling to let him punish you for the tangled emotions he couldn’t untie or understand.

After one particular one-sided fight –another conflict that seemed to arise from nothing, a feeble excuse on his part to provoke a reaction, to ignite some passion within you– heavy words spilled from his mouth like a wretched torrent of insults, laced with anger and, perhaps, something else, something deeper, more visceral. His voice broke almost imperceptibly, his composure faltering as his final words struck you like a blade, cutting something deep within you.

“You don’t understand! You don’t understand anything!”

And despite the loud, oppressive environment, everything suddenly fell silent. His expression was distorted in panic, frustration, and something that almost resembled despair –a sight that was strangely heartbreaking, though you couldn’t quite explain why. Pressing your lips into a thin line, your brow furrowed with anguish, and you sighed, defeated. That was the tragedy of your relationship; you wanted to understand him –if only he would let you.

“Show me, then. What don’t I understand?” you murmured, your voice as soft and calm as possible, offering what felt like an olive branch, maybe even a truce. But he said nothing.

His silence carried the bitter weight of failure, and as the ache in your chest swelled into something more fierce, you sighed, closing your eyes in an attempt to gather your fractured thoughts and soothe the storm of emotions. Then, you felt it -his warmth, growing closer, the space between you shrinking until his breath brushed your skin, like a soft wave lapping at the shores of your face. His lips almost brushed yours, barely a whisper away from your flushed skin, as if hesitating, seeking permission, or needing you to lead the final step and close the distance; perhaps it was all of those things at once.

Your throat tightened, and you remained immobile –unsure, overwhelmed. And just as quickly as it appeared, his warmth vanished, leaving behind only the silence as he quietly left the room under your agonising gaze.

You often wondered if it was a mistake to maintain this false boundary, to let him throw his passionate tantrums while you withheld the affection that once sustained him, even as he, in return, left you starved. But as your eyes glowed with unshed tears, the ache of unrequited love tightening in your chest, you reminded yourself that you couldn’t go back. You were too old, too drained to play these endless games –even with him, even with the Riddler.

Every now and then, you’d extend an olive branch, testing the waters by sharing something about your day like you used to, trying to open a dialogue beyond the rigid confines of your work. That was the most you allowed yourself to offer. Yet, he remained perfectly uninterested, his pride too wounded to admit what he truly craved from you. Stubborn asshole.

An inmate yells as the episode wraps up, immediately bringing you back to the present. You flinch, startled, suddenly reminded that you’re still very much trapped here, and still very much pissed. Dennis turns to you, flashing a grin that’s more wolf than man, his expression wrecked and ravaged as he asks what you thought of the latest episode.

The man has always had a thing for his soap operas. Why, you have no idea –but he never misses a single one, even though they’re all on DVD and could be watched any time. He could even ask a guard to play one whenever he wanted. But you guess watching it at a scheduled time gives him the illusion of spontaneity, like he’s back at home in front of the TV (did he even have a home left on the outside?). Something like that. You’re not sure you understand half of what’s going on in the back of his brain anyway.

Hell, you’re not even sure you know what’s wrong with you, most of the time.

✦ Next Chapter

#edward nigma #edward nygma #edward nashton #arkham knight riddler #the riddler #edward nygma x reader #edward nigma x reader #edward nashton x reader #the riddler x reader

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animeyanderelover · 1 year ago

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Anon: Hello, anon req for letter E, K, R, V with Megumi & Inumaki (JJK), Sado (Bleach), Lavi (DGM), please and thank you!

Tw: Yandere themes, toxic relationship, possessiveness behavior, obsession, delusional thoughts, overprotective behavior, stalking, manipulation, clinginess, jealousy, paranoia, abduction, isolation

Yandere Alphabet

Sado Yasutora

Earnest-How intense and dangerous are they really?

🛡️Sado would be together with Orihime the tamest one from the original Ichigo squad. He’s a pacifist and uses violence only when it is to protect someone and is lucid about his obsession. What can be pointed out but really is no fault of his might be that the average person isn’t going to just approach you without any care when Sado is with you. We’re talking about a guy nearly 2 meters tall after all so perhaps it’s understandable why they would be a bit intimidated by Chad. If you’re a social and extroverted person, this factor might dull a bit of your fun though. I’d say worst aspect is that Sado is loyal to his core. This might sound flattering at first but that is until you realize the implications of this. This man is fully committed to you and ready to die for you. He’s much more selfless than most other Yandere and perhaps it’s that selflessness that might scare you a bit.

Kidnap-When and why would they kidnap their darling? How much would they plan ahead?

🛡️With Chad you have a lower risk of being abducted because he takes good care of you. He’s protective but mature enough to tone those urges of his down so he doesn’t restrict your life. Obviously he’s going to be a tad bit more careful though as he can see Hollows you can’t see and has been involved in some very life-threatening fights. I’d say the chance for a more permanent abduction would involve an incident where he feels like he could have done more to prevent it. That can obviously include the chance of Hollows attacking you but it can be implied to much more mundane accidents in the normal world too. That would be most likely the point where he wouldn’t be able to win a fight against his nerves anymore. Why don’t you just stay with him for a longer period of time? Please…just let him take care of you for a while now. He’s very insistent on his will as you will figure out and it’ll be one of the few times where you find yourself arguing with him.

🛡️It won’t be a one-night plan nor will he brood very much about it. After such a terrible case where he has been triggered enough to be even pushed this far, he knows that he has to act soon. First and foremost he would stock up on items and stuff you’ll need to live healthy and comfortable. Sado values your comfort and your happiness and whilst he is sure that an abduction will most likely rob you of your ability to be as happy and joyful as you normally are, he still tries the best he can do within the new situation. He ponders the most on what he will tell you when you realize what he’s doing and the confrontation is the part he dreads the most. He knows that he is wrong which makes all of this much more complicated, he doesn’t know what he could say to defend his actions against you. Chad doesn’t tell you about it until the last second either and you don’t assume anything to be wrong. Not until you’re already in his house and he blocks the door, too ashamed to even look you into your eyes.

Race-How fast would it take for them to grow toxic feelings? How do they realize?

🛡️I do see him as a guy who has started wearing his heart more on his sleeve ever since he befriended Ichigo. Yes, he is a rather quiet person normally but if you don’t get discouraged by his lack of speech nor fear his built, getting to know him and getting closer to him isn’t as hard as you might believe. Whilst Sado is quick to grow to care about someone, an obsession takes much longer. Perhaps it is a crush after a few months, perhaps it is love after a year but this is a far cry from obsession yet. He’d have to know you for a much longer period of time and vice versa if love should ever be dragged into the dark and twisted emotional aspect of devotion and attraction. By the time his feelings start getting twisted, both of you probably know each other from the inside out already and might as well be already in an established relationship.

🛡️Because it is such a long process of developing a real obsession and because the changes are subtle, even Chad is a bit slower to realize that something has changed at all. He’s always been loyal and devoted to everyone he cares about. His behavior doesn’t change visibly either so he has no one who could point it out to him either. I’d say that the one thing he can pin his change of feelings down on is his increase in worries about your safety. Sado has always been a bit protective over you due to seeing Hollows but that seems to slowly expand to the point where he finds himself being worried about situations he has never really considered as dangerous before. He has his intrusive thoughts but he hushes them down quite well in his mind, otherwise he might develop the nasty habit of being a bit paranoid over you.

Voice-If their darling asks them for something, would they give it to them? How much do they do in general for them?

🛡️In most cases, Chad won’t hesitate or think much about it if his s/o would ask him for something. His devotion and loyalty does make him prone to caving in quite easily to your every whim and need. This makes him prone to spoiling his s/o a bit too often but it isn’t to the point where it is really exaggerated or ridiculous. He isn’t just throwing out money blindly nor is he doing absolutely everything for you either. He is speaking up about it when he isn’t comfortable with what you’re asking him off, in most cases because he’s worried that it might potentially be a risk for your health. Such objections are rare and few though so if his darling desires something material or needs Sado to do something specific, they can count on him.

🛡️Overall Sado is doing a lot for his s/o too even if they aren’t asking him for anything. He’s always going out of his way to ensure that you feel comfortable and happy and tries to surround you with people and stuff that always makes you feel safe and joyful. He’s quite attentive and usually always sticks up on everything you need so if you feel like you are about to run out of your favorite snacks or certain products, Chad has oftentimes already bought it for you again. He keeps a close eye on you and your needs but not to the extent where it makes you feel uncomfortable and creepy but makes you feel appreciated and cared for. If he notices that you’re feeling down, he steps his usual care up a bit in an attempt to comfort you and cheer you up by buying you small and cute stuff or by encouraging you to go outside and/or do something relaxing.

Lavi Bookman

Earnest-How intense and dangerous are they really?

🔨You tend to get way too easily fooled around Lavi which is simply a result of his insightfulness and the change of his entire personality for missions and inspections. He doesn't know what else to do as he essentially never had a personality or identity of his own. He's the next Bookman and that's all he's ever known to be. This adaption skills to fit his personality within what you feel most comfortable with is probably the most dangerous skill he has because he can blend in like a chameleon and change his demeanor whenever it is needed. Even if you might think of him as goofy, don't let yourself be deceived as this is merely a charade of Lavi which he can change quickly to gain the sympathy and the favor of a lot of people in your life. This also implies that he is even able to put up a facade to scare and frighten you if there should ever be the need for that. Lavi essentially never stays the same, his whole personality can adapt and change and that makes him unpredictable.

Kidnap-When and why would they kidnap their darling? How much would they plan ahead?

🔨Lavi can't do much as long as the old Bookman is still with him because that old man would never tolerate him abducting his s/o. In his company the best Lavi can do is lie to you by using his manipulation or convincing others to lock you away or just keep you away from any danger. It is only as soon as he has officially the title of Bookman and is by himself that it dawns on him that he is now free to do as he wants. That sudden freedom and the power that comes with it scares a small part of him but it's in that moment that you're suddenly at a constant risk to be taken because as a Bookman he can never stay in the same place for a long time. Ultimately this undeniable lifestyle he has a Bookman is what would at the very last push him to try to convince you to travel with him or in the worst scenario to abduct you.

🔨You'd think that he would have made grand plans as soon as the old man can't travel with him anymore and he officially takes over as new Bookman. Truthfully though, he is so used to the man's presence that it somehow slips his mind that one day the old man can't accompany him anymore as he is the closest thing to a parental figure Lavi has. Without him anymore though, Lavi realizes how lonely it'll be from now on, especially without you. With the ability to act freely though, Lavi can't deny that he starts planning what he should do now. He definitely wants to convince you to come with him and what to do if beguiling doesn't work on you. There's never a strict plan though because it's near impossible to plan ahead if he can never settle down unless he trains another successor and if he doesn't know when he has to travel where for how long.

Race-How fast would it take for them to grow toxic feelings? How do they realize?

🔨He cozies up to people for the sake of watching history unfold itself but the old man has always told him that as a Bookman he is never allowed to bond with someone. So even if he might act at first friendly towards you or you might just be someone he perceives as beautiful, this isn't him being genuine. He's being wary due to his duty as a Bookman so to genuinely develop an obsession for someone requires him to know you for a longer period of time. Funnily enough the process itself from transferring from love to obsession isn't even that long nor difficult as the mere concept of sincere feelings towards someone is foreign and unknown for him as it has never happened throughout his whole life.

🔨With his feelings all mixed up, Lavi has to navigate through a labyrinth that consists of his own feelings. The mere notice that his feelings go deeper than they are supposed to go and the fact that he feels attachment towards you goes against his principles and the world he has known so far so Lavi denies himself those emotions. Those pent-up emotions crack up his normally flawless charade though as he always slips up around you. This is unusual and has never happened before to him, makes him dread how serious the situation really is. He's focusing too much on you, ignores even other beautiful women in favor of you and initially can't hold up his mask around you. All signs that eventually lead him to the realization that his interest might go deeper than he might have ever anticipated.

Voice-If their darling asks them for something, would they give it to them? How much do they do in general for them?

🔨Lavi would love to act on his lovesick emotions at times on sheer impulse alone but he always tries to keep a bit of levelheadedness. Especially during the early stages of his obsession would he make an effort to never make himself suspicious by being too friendly with you nor being too rude to you as both could lead to unwanted attention. As he gradually warms up around you and the idea of holding genuine affection for someone, he starts being more willing around you. He has certain phases where he is very affectionate and would go above and beyond to fulfill you your wishes you ask him for and in other moments he appears to be calmer and composed again and wouldn't actively spoil you.

🔨Undeniable is though that Lavi looks out a lot for you and always makes sure that you have enough in your life to be satisfied and healthy. He always guarantees a mimimum you have to have in your life and if you lack something that is included in this minimum, he always goes out of his way to ensure that you have it. He takes importance to remind you about such basic things you need in your life more than riches or jewelry as you don't need unnecessary items in your life to survive if you should ever be mad that you couldn't purchase something you wanted. That isn't to say that sometimes he will fall into a mood where he literally tries to gift and buy you such stuff if he has the money for it to cater to your happiness. But only if he is in the mood because he shifts his focus elsewhere in your life otherwise.

Fushiguro Megumi

Earnest-How intense and dangerous are they really?

💙With Megumi you as his darling are most certainly on the worse side if I had to be honest. Megumi is quite a mess on the inside even if his permanently stoic face might give the illusion that he doesn't care. His paranoia, his urge to protect you, his introverted and stressed behavior around everyone that is around him, especially in your company, and his own insecurities are your worst enemies. He seemingly doesn't trust anyone around you, not even his and your own friends are exceptions to that. There is always something he doesn't like about other people or something about them he feels like might end up getting you in troubles and in the worst case he doesn't want you around them because he fears you might like them more than him. No matter how much you reassure him, he'll always relapse and ask you instead to spend time with him alone rather than going out. So you're stuck with him, slowly isolated and forced to neglect other relationships in favor of calming his insecurities and his paranoia that will never fade away.

Kidnap-When and why would they kidnap their darling? How much would they plan ahead?

💙I've already mentioned it in my Hc's for Megumi but chances to be abducted are higher with him. His limitless paranoia and ever-present insecurities surrounding you and your safety will be his motives if he should ever abduct you. You just have to give one of those fears of his the last push and lead his mind to crumble apart. You could get in danger for normal or curse-related reasons, you could shatter his mind by leaving him for someone else because you're fed up with his antics or you could simply neglect him without intention by focusing on something or someone else and push his already wavering sanity over the edge. His paranoia and irrational fear will do the rest for you even if nothing has technically happened. Let his mind run wild and overthink all by itself and you'll get the same results no matter what.

💙He isn't fully spontanous but waiting for too long would be agonizing and torture for Megumi so he won't plan too far ahead either. He plans ahead to not be fully unprepared because he does understand the consequences of an abduction. He thinks about aspects such as where he will abduct you and if he will knock you out or use other ways to lure you where he plans to keep you and how he will provide from you then because you can bet your kidney that he won't let you leave for a while. Those plans would be easier fulfilled if Megumi has his own residence at that point where he can keep you but if he's still under Gojo's watch and a student, he obviously has less freedom to act as he wishes he could. That doesn't mean that it'll discourage him though.

Race-How fast would it take for them to grow toxic feelings? How do they realize?

💙For Megumi to actually obsess over someone, his darling needs to pour patience and time into this boy if they even want him to open up somehow around him. Megumi rarely feels comfortable around people as they're more than often the main source of his stress so you really shouldn't be too pushy unless you want to have him avoid you. It takes a lot of time and trust for Megumi to trust someone and genuinely care about them, considering the way he grew up without any parents to take care of him and had only his sister to rely on. An obsession is a really long process because even the aspect of falling in love is a very delicate topic for the jujutsu sorcerer. Once it has come to the point of no return though, you can be assured that Megumi would never give you up or let you leave him. Never.

💙When Megumi gains romantic feelings of you without any obsessive tendencies, you don't know about it. Because he never tells you anything about it when he himself comes to terms that he loves you. He already hesitates and panics slightly at this stage as he doesn't know what to do with his feelings and keeps quiet about it ultimately in some silent hope that it'll go away. His hesitation and unwillingness to tell anyone about it and just pent everything up is the fault for his feelings to escalate even further. It is his downright co-dependency that has him realize his unhealthy attachment as every stressful situation always brings up thoughts about you and an impulsive need to see you, be alone with you, cope via you. His inner peace is disturbed as all feelings and thoughts lead back to you and he only feels somewhat relaxed when around you.

Voice-If their darling asks them for something, would they give it to them? How much do they do in general for them?

💙If it involves anything of you wanting to do something for someone else for the sole purpose of impressing them and gaining their favor, you can count him out. If it is something that isn't realistic for him to do and that might put him in an uncomfortable situation without any deeper motives of him protecting you or something along those lines, Megumi has no problems denying you your wishes. Otherwise he'll see what he can do and how much money he's willing to spend on you without draining his resources. He gets very paranoid and twitchy though if you seek out help through someone else and not him because he views this as a breach of trust from your side, enough to make his mind spin. Do you see him as incompetent? Has he done something that offended you? Why aren't you asking him? If you need help, come to him! Don't ask anyone else...

💙He focuses on your safety and protection over your own indulgence in little things. He's paranoid and worried about curses in your area and gets rid of as much as he can with the help of his shikai and is just as dedicated when it comes to the people surrounding you. Admittedly, Megumi does a lot of things for you you'd never want him to do because it involves scaring certain people he doesn't trust for his mostly paranoid reasons and telling them to stay away from you. He does such acts for you though and in his mind it is perfectly justified for him to act the way he does. It hurts him immensely though when you react angrily and disappointed because of them. He's done it because he loves you and wants you safe. Why can't you appreciate him at least a little bit for it...?

Inumaki Toge

Earnest-How intense and dangerous are they really?

🗣️A clear threat that is there is Inumaki's inherited cursed speech and even though he would rarely ever use that on his lover, on the first glance this is the most obvious reason why he would be seen as dangerous. Toge knows that too. He knows what possibilities he has because of his inherited power. If you would look at his emotional situation though, Inumaki is rather stable in comparison to some other students such as Yuta or Megumi. He's very calm and insightful, cares about his s/o and his antics are even rather endearing at times simply to make you more comfortable around him due to his inability to converse with you in a normal way, especially if you don't fully understand him yet. Perhaps you could count his emotional calmness as a double-edged sword though because in certain situations it is very scary to see him so composed.

Kidnap-When and why would they kidnap their darling? How much would they plan ahead?

🗣️Toge's reason for an abduction would be out of protective reasons because otherwise he wouldn't be able to justify such a thing with his own morals. He isn't very paranoid nor possessive otherwise so he has no motives to kidnap you otherwise than a life-threatening situation or maybe, maybe, a potential separation from you that he can't stop or prevent through more convenient meassurements. An abduction isn't a case of forever isolation and imprisonment in his case though but more a method to wait until the situation isn't as dangerous and risky anymore in which case he would grant you the privilege of moving around freely again. Of course you can't tell anyone else about what happened though.

🗣️His cursed speech feels like an abuse of power so he genuinely tries to only use it as a last resort if he can't convince you otherwise to please just let him take over your life for a moment. Toge feels in moments of dangers responsible for you so if he sees no other way than temporary abduction and other attempts to solve the problem haven't worked, he will be rather determined to pull through with it until he deems everything to be safe and fine again. Here his scary composure comes into play because despite the little hint of guilt in his eyes, he is firm with such a decision once he makes it. The contrast to your own turbulent feelings against his quiet and convinced demeanor makes for quite the strong and unsettling contrast in this scenario.

Race-How fast would it take for them to grow toxic feelings? How do they realize?

🗣️You might let yourself get fooled by his initial appearance and mistake him as someone quiet and aloof but Inumaki is beyond that first impression kind and caring. Earning his attention and his platonic love for you isn't that hard for you with a bit of time spent together and fooling around together. I'd say that even having him love you in more romantic ways isn't as hard if you just hang out enough with him. Obviously that will be easier though once you learn to understand his special speech and can communicate better with him. Only the final step to an obsession is the biggest struggle because Toge is very in tune with his emotions as he is very mature for his age. He realizes that something is going not quite right with his feelings for you and tries to prevent it from escalating. Without much success obviously.

🗣️He would never abuse his cursed speech for his own selfish purposes but the intrusive thoughts of doing so pop up the worse his feelings for you get. Not against you but for the largest part against those who wrong you and make your life at times a bit hellish. The impulse to use his cursed speech, make them stop or even hurt them with his ability when he feels his ire raise are first signs that something isn't going right with him. Especially if those people are non-sorcerers and he knows that they wouldn't stand a chance against him. The second sign would be the developing habit of his to just trail behind you without you being aware of it. It often starts with him thinking that one or two minutes will be enough only that those few short minutes quickly turn into half an hour before he even knows it with him still following you around.

Voice-If their darling asks them for something, would they give it to them? How much do they do in general for them?

🗣️He's relatively chill if it comes to doing you a favor or two or three. Running a few errands for you is something he has been doing ever since he only thought of you as a close friend and that hasn't changed even with his obsession. He doesn't have an insane dedication to it though so if he has other stuff to do at the moment, he will tell you so. He feels quite apologetic though if you should give him a sad face and promises to do it for you as soon as he has finished whatever else he's occupied with at the moment. He doesn't even care much if people like Panda or Maki tease him for his obvious soft spot and gossip that he'd never do such stuff for them. If he can help you and make you happy within your own life, he's feeling quite fulfilled and content.

🗣️He's a tiny bit like Yuji in the way that he likes to buy you small gifts or snacks once he has gained romantic feelings, especially if you two should be in a relationship at that point. He isn't as spoiling as Yuji but you get once or twice a week such little treats from him without you ever asking for it. If he thinks that you need something, he doesn't ask you if you actually need it most of the time but just gets it for you instead. Better more than less after all, isn't he right? I mean, he even comes to visit you in your home when he finds out that you have to do a lot of household chores and just helps you, even if you tell him that he doesn't have to help you and that you will do it somehow alone. If he senses that you're nervous or stressed about something, you should always expect him to support and help you in whatever way he can.

#yandere bleach #yandere sado #yandere sado yasutora #yandere d. gray-man #yandere dgm #yandere lavi #yandere lavi bookman #yandere jujutsu kaisen #yandere jjk #yandere megumi #yandere fushiguro megumi #yandere inumaki #yandere inumaki toge

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mazzystar24 · 6 months ago

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Here's the thing and I'm not saying it's ok, it's obviously not in any way, shape or form, but since I'm assuming you have all the tags of bucktommy filtered perhaps you haven't seen it. Most of the bucktommy blogs (including ones that also ship buddie) have gotten many many hate asks, insulting them, accusing them of something, and just being incredibly disgusting. You literally can't go to the bucktommy tag without finding many posts of buddie fans who tag bucktommy saying shit about the ship, the actors, and the people who ship them. Saying that bucktommy shippers must feel threatened by buddie going canon and that's why they are rude is absolutely crazy (though there might be some that do, who knows?). Now, I'm sure that going to the buddie tag is also hard to do and there must be people who post shit about buddie and I know there are many blogs that are anti the extreme buddie fans. So, what I'm trying to say is that both ships have people that are purposely posting things to make the others mad, that are actively trying to continue this -frankly- stupid ship war. And they are being racist (on both sides, not just bucktommy shippers, I saw a bucktommy blog from a POC person get an ask calling them the n* word) and just plain awful. So, assuming that buddie blogs are better and do nothing wrong is incorrect, and it goes the other way as well. I really don't understand how people can be so mean, and so self-centered over two ships that who even knows what's going to happen? Everyone, absolutely everyone should do better. No one is better than the other one.

Hi anon!

Okay in case you don’t know my blog here is my usual warning that I will be bullet pointing but I promise I’m not trying to be curt/rude (cos you genuinely don’t seem to be on the attack or anything) I just can like explain my thought process better when I can like break it down into chunks 🫡

• I’m assuming you saw either this post which I do end with saying “Like we get it some buddie fans were dicks to you or you disagree or they did something or whatever the fuck but dont start being dicks to an entire fandom???” (Which I feel like it kinda gets the point across of like in general what people shouldn’t do but also it was in the context of me saying that that day there was a surge in the anti buddie fans in the tag, but I also do acknowledge that there will have been buddie fans who have been dicks to them, so I never “assumed that buddie fans are better and never did anything wrong”) Or this one which is just a whole post about why people shouldn’t be misusing tags rather than making people block them and obviously I’m talking in both posts about what I’ve personally seen which is the anti buddie accounts but the principle applies for both and I agree 100% and I did actually make a post earlier than that here where I do talk about both ends and misusing tags as well as not using discourse tags and I talk about both the anti bucktommy/ toxic buddie fans and anti buddie/toxic bucktommy fans so while I understand that you may not have seen that post and out of context it may seem like I only view one side as being better than the other I actually have pointed out before that it’s both and I urge both to just be respectful in fandom spaces, that’s why I even mentioned in the post where I’m complaining about people spamming the buddie tag that I always just politely ask whichever one I see (which again based off what I engage with happens to be the people spamming the buddie tag) but I did make a whole three parter post about how people can improve fandom spaces and how everyone should be doing better

• I actually don’t have the bucktommy tags filtered because as I’ve mentioned before I genuinely don’t dislike them and enjoy seeing their scenes and dynamic they’re just not endgame for me

• okay the racism is a more complicated topic so I do wanna preface this with saying I’m a poc before I have any toxic fans jumping into my inbox calling me a “dumb white bitch” again 😭😭- I don’t know how the racism toward the bucktommy fandom has been -not that any amount of racism is fine obviously like genuinely to those blogs that got shit said I genuinely hope you’re fine- but the toxic bucktommy fans have become a wholeass section of the fandom being racist, which is why I point it out because it’s not one or two incidences but rather an entire subset pushing racist narratives or just posting shit that’s racist u(and again my heart fully goes out to the bucktommy fans who had to deal with people being racist to them I am just personally going based off what I’ve seen and it’s the fact that there are SO MANY racist anti buddie accounts if that makes sense so it’s more widespread in that case)

• as for the comment about toxic bucktommy fans feeling threatened and that’s why there was a rise, i actually didn’t say that but it was pointed out to me by people in my comments and I was like that makes sense and honestly it does because it absolutely tracks that when one side of the fandom is feeling optimistic about something that hints at their ship the other side’s toxic fans will want to put a damper on that, just like I can probably guess that toxic buddie fans probably hounded the bucktommy tag around the time the hospital kiss happened, like it just makes sense

Thanks anon for the ask because I genuinely do agree with most of what you said, and you were respectful with it which I appreciate, but I genuinely urge you in the politest way I can to just check out people’s accounts before sending an ask like this because context is genuinely key and people aren’t gonna be reiterating that it happens on either end when talking about something in the context of one end if that makes sense? And I personally do try to acknowledge it as much as possible even in the posts that I assume you were referring to🫶🫶🫶

#911 #buddie #evan buckley #911 abc #eddie diaz #911 fox #evan buck buckley #911onfox #buckley diaz family #911 discourse #fandom discourse #asks open #send asks #send me asks #answered asks #asks

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anonymouschishiyaimaginesandmore · 2 years ago

Text

BestFriend!Chishiya

Minors, do not read! Contains mentions of smutty behavior!

MASTERLIST (up-to-date)

This is Part 2 !!HERE!! is Part 1 !!HERE!! is Part 3 !!HERE!! is Part 4!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Alice in Borderland/Imawa no Kuni no Alice characters or original stories, only the plot of this fanfic. Alice in Borderland/Imawa no Kuni no Alice characters and original storyline belong to Haro Aso, who made the Manga the Series is based on.

Trigger Warning: Explicit Smut in later Parts, both Characters are Teens, Slight Toxic Behavior, Complicated Consensual/Not-Consensual Behavior Summery: Chishiya x Female Reader

BestFriend!Chishiya has been watching you closely ever since that one day, posing as the ever so unbothered best friend of yours, who was, in no way, interested in what happened nor what it could mean to you. Things are supposed to feel normal. Boring. As black and white as ever. Just the two of you. As friends. But that wasn’t the case anymore, at least not for you.

BestFriend!Chishiya eyes lay carefully on your figure, while you are pretty much slumped over your homework. You feel his stare. At least you think you do, cause every time you look up, his brown chocolate orbs, framed by peroxide blond strands, are focused on his books instead and it confuses you. A lot. Are you going crazy?

BestFriend!Chishiya knows it does and he also knows that you can feel him starring right into your soul. It amuses him how you react. Thought it only animates him to do it more often and see how far he could drive you up the wall. You, on the other hand feel like you can’t trust your own instincts anymore. Whenever you look up, sure to catch his attention on yourself, only for it to be somewhere else, he does grand you with a tired look of his own, asking less interested “Is there something?” only for you to shake your head and return to your notes and scribbles of halfhearted done work.

In the past, you were always sure when BestFriend!Chishiya was staring at you. You caught him but it was ok because it was nothing than just a game. You were confident to know when he tried to poke you with his mind directely and see if you react, but now, after that fateful day, your instincts seem to play with you, or does he? You believe to know when his eyes roam your body, but as soon as you look up, you are only met by his presence, not his attention. You can’t help but think, maybe, just maybe, it is just in your head.

Perhaps you wish for BestFriend!Chishiyas attention? Maybe, after what he asked of you, so blatant, so easy, but still so consequential, it toys with your head? It can’t be. Shouldn’t be. Wont. BestFriend!Chishiya isn’t this kind of person. You have never seen him interested in anyone, beside his work and some side projects, but persons? Actual Human beings? Not if it didn’t benefit his future career or any other entertainment, so even if he looks at you. Even if your mind isn’t playing games on you and making you see and feel things that aren’t there. Even if. It doesn’t matter because he surely sees you with no different eyes than before.

BestFriend!Chishiya says “Speak up”, ripping you out of your thoughts and this time, when you do look up, his attention is undeniably on you “Huh?” you ask confused, tho you have a feeling what he meant “You haven’t asked me to help you with your homework yet, but I can see from here that most of it is either incorrect or so farfetched, it’s not rhetorical anymore, but a fable”

BestFriend!Chishiya watches you lower your gaze, playing the dumb one, what isn’t that hard, since compared to him, you are practically dumb “I have no idea what you are talking about”

BestFriend!Chishiya grabs your book and notes, turning it towards himself and scans thru it, before a smirk appears on his handsome face. Did you just think handsome? Oh god no… “Who is axelot the great? Any why did he conquer your pants?”

BestFriend!Chishiya admires your confused face as you take your book back from him, reading over your notes and mentally slapping your head at least 5 times. You know that your brain isn’t fully there. More likely over the place, just like your mind. Every sentence you read, needed to be re-read at least 5 times before it sunk halfway in, what made you slower than usual but such errors? That was truly stupid, and you feel your cheeks flush and palms getting sweaty at the realization, just how far away your thoughts had been during homework.

“Didn’t know your pants can be conquered” mocked BestFriend!Chishiya amused and you flash him daggers, words shaky as you open your mouth, wanting to bark at him, but what comes out is barely above a whisper “Shut up”

BestFriend!Chishiya notes with amusement your obvious embarrassment. It can be captured with a camera, that’s how evident it is. So you give up, for the day, scrambling your papers together, wanting nothing more than to leave this uncomfortable situation. The Last days you have done nothing but waiting for something to happen. A sign, that what happened, did happen and wasn’t just a dream or something. That it was real, but BestFriend!Chishiya has gone back to his usual self so fast, you almost got whiplash from it.

It is like all you two did, all BestFriend!Chishiya did, with you, all the touches and words and everything was nothing more than an illusion and it makes you crazy. It makes you question yourself if you have gone insane and dreamed it all up. After all he never lost a word about it, never brought it up, never asked how you felt after his hands had touched every piece of skin, no matter where. And as if he hasn’t made you touch him. Him. It!!!

BestFriend!Chishiya stops your actions, taking your book right out of your arms and opening it at the last page he read one movement ago. It impresses you every time how perfect he does things. How nothing he makes, ever contained any failures. No step ever went into the wrong direction and no word was less correct than the ones before and all that followed.

BestFriend!Chishiya was perfect. His whole actions always had been, but now, it is like the colors he forced you to see, also reflect on him in a way, that makes you see more of him. Truly him. Not just your best friend. More of how perfect his body is. How manly he is. Why did you never see him like that before? Is it because until that day, BestFriend!Chishiya was nothing but a friend and not a guy? And seeing his sex made you realize he was one all along? Is one.

No, that was wrong. BestFriend!Chishiya is no guy, he is a man. There is no way just a guy could be so talented with his hands like BestFriend!Chishiya was. No guy is so gifted like him in certain places, no one and yes you looked the average up on the internet afterwards. BestFriend!Chishiya is certainly not one of them. He is so…big.

BestFriend!Chishiya proceeds to correct your writing as if it was nothing to him and with a totally collected appearance. Like your stupidity is no problem at all. Like all of this is just an everyday happening. And it makes you angry that he treats it that way. Then again, it also makes you angry that you feel the way you do and the emotions that you shouldn’t feel. Then again, can you really blame him for the thoughts you have and the way he faces them?

BestFriend!Chishiya made sure, that day, what his action meant for him, beforehand and you knew that. You agreed to it and now, you have the audacity to be angry he doesn’t feel more? That his mind isn’t as scattered as yours. Unable to focus on simple tasks. How fucked up are you exactly?

You sit down again, giving up on your intentions of leaving. It would only throw off questions like why and to be honest you can’t really answer them correctly without admitting your messy brain, so you give up and look at him instead. Really look at him, up and down, trying to see what really changed about him, because you feel like a lot did, but then again, also nothing. BestFriend!Chishiya is still just him, and way more. Gosh your mind is truly a mess. You can’t even think straight!

“You are starring” No question, no reminder of your unnatural behavior, just an obvious statement and you smile. Sure, a lot has changed, but BestFriend!Chishiya was still the same in many ways, after all.

“I was thinking.”

BestFriend!Chishiya chuckles, his eyes not leaving the book in his hands. Red pencil correcting every mistake of yours like a teacher. But a handsome one “About?”

“Just” you start but interrupt yourself, because the words in your mouth seem like another elusive explanation instead of the truth “I thought…no I questioned myself…did it really happen?”

“Did what really happen?” BestFriend!Chishiya makes a big X over a whole paragraph of your writing and you swallow. This action makes you rethink your words again. Your sentences made sense to you when you wrote them down, but to see how wrong they are now, makes you self-conscious of your ability to judge the situation rightfully. Probably, you are wrong after all. Have you gone insane?

“You know what.”

“I don’t” says BestFriend!Chishiya nonchalantly, another paragraph falling victim to his sharp eyes. You highly doubt his statement, looking at him with a bitch please expression.

“Don’t play dumb. It's not convincing.”

BestFriend!Chishiya stops his actions. He freezes in his position for what felt like minutes. Red pencil in his right hand, head lowered, gaze towards your work. Completely in his element and still. Time froze him up. Or maybe you did? “Do you really not know…what I mean?” you ask, words stuttering again, but this time your tone was at least content. Demanding an answer. Or was no answer the actual one?

BestFriend!Chishiya sighs heavily. Head rising, massaging his nape, he finally turns to you, with the oh so familiar playful smile on his face “I do know what you mean” This isn’t enough. You need him to say it out loud, so it was clear, the two of you are talking about the same thing. You need him to admit it in a full sentence that it really really happened.

“And what is that?” you ask, swallowing nervously. BestFriend!Chishiya doesn’t miss is. The way your breath picks up. How your chest raises with anticipation, expecting his answer, and hoping for the right one “I asked you to undress for me. Then I touched you on places that seems like you haven’t showed anyone else before me. At least your reaction to this whole topic tells me this” if possible, your heart races even more, lungs hitching like a broken-down car. You bite your bottom lip, unbeknown to yourself, but BestFriend!Chishiya sees it and cant refrain from smirking amused “Then you expected me to be turned on by your naked body and I tried to make you understand that it takes more than just some skin and flash to truly…excite me”.

You say nothing. Thoughts racing in your mind, BestFriend!Chishiya sees all the wheels turning, so he adds casually “Ah. That’s right, there was something else, I forgot. You touched me too. Or did I make you touch me? Who knows?”

BestFriend!Chishiya takes your silence as an invitation to lean forward and the fact that you don’t back away, is enough for him to proceed “Wanna see it again?” your eyes widen “Last time you barely got the chance to take in the sighed. Must have been your first time seeing one in real life, hm?”

BestFriend!Chishiya notices how you chew on your poor lip, unsure what to answer. If you should even answer at all, but you can’t help yourself from looking down at his hidden sex. The picture of it was engraved in your mind, never able to forget. Ever. Even if you wanted to. Do you want to? Who knows. However, you did somehow crave for your fingers to feel him again. Want to explore him the way he did with you. But your thoughts are focused only on one of his parts and BestFriend!Chishiya knows it by the way you eye his lower body, trying to undress him with your mind and feel every blue vain around the limb flash, meandering a way to its pink head “All you have to do is ask” BestFriend!Chishiya whispers, watching with delight how your fingers twitch with expectancy “You know. Like I did”

Your eyes rip from his dark pants when you are sure, no when you could swear you saw something move inside. Could it be? BestFriend!Chishiya sees how shocked you are at this realization, questioning if you really saw what you saw and it pleased him. The plea in your eyes, the black of your pupils widening to it extant with want, maybe even lust? He has no time to find out, because something scared you so much, you stumble practically to your feet, shoving everything you can get in one move inside your backpack and swinging it over your shoulder, rushing out of his room and with that out of his apartment, but before you are out the door, you hear BestFriend!Chishiya shout to you “Write me when you are home. I will bring your book with me tomorrow” and this was all that was said, before you were out and on your way home.

At home, no one asks you why you look so over the places. No one realizes how dirty your thoughts are and you don’t want to tell them, until you lay in bed, with your pajama on and damp hair from the quick shower, holding your smartphone clutched to your chest.

BestFriend!Chishiya. You forgot to write him. Or more like you didn’t forget but you pushed it aside, hoping to. The universe isn’t on your side tho, cause while lying around like that, you felt bad that maybe he could be worried about you, and you made him feel like that intentional.

BestFriend!Chishiya looks at his phone when the familiar ping sound of his notification chimes. He sits on his bed with his laptop on his folded legs, scrolling thru news all over the world and his mind taking in all the information’s like a sponge sucking up water. When he sees the message is from you, he smirks mischievous and moves the electronic device from his body, sinking deeper into his pillows.

YOU: Sorry I forgot to text you YOU: Been kind of busy since I got home

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