#communication needs to be a habit and its needed worked on for years in the roleplay community.

[terrminallycapricious]

((random thought here but if you wanna know how the relationship is between my muses and yours, feel free to ask. otherwise, do not assume things are bigger or whatever might be happening between them.))

[vixstarria]

Intimacy

Hello friends, have some soft Act 2 Astarion.  

Astarion’s struggle with sex and intimacy. Connected with my other fics but is a standalone, per usual. 

Astarion x Reader, Astarion x Tav, soft Astarion 

Hurt/comfort, some fluff if you squint, love, angst, mutual pining, Act 2 spoilers, some fairly softcore smut 

Approximately 1,600 words. 

AO3

“I have no idea what we’re doing,” he told you. You’d replayed that conversation over and over countless times in your mind, since.  

You had no idea what you were doing either. Oh, navigating an ordinary relationship was simple enough, and you’d had your fair share of those – even if they’d all ended in disappointment at best, so far. Being with someone who’d just escaped 200 years of abuse, however... That was something new.  

“I don't think I want you to think of me in terms of sex.” 

Well that was a fuck-up. He was walking sex. ...Most likely due to sheer force of habit, so necessary for survival over all those years, but still.  

“I love you.” 

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck...  

You were in over your head too. Completely. Hopelessly. In love with this catastrophe of a man.  

What were you to do with him now?  

Wait for him to take the lead in every physical interaction? It wasn’t in your nature to be so passive. He knew this. And you were sure he would love to be treated like spurned glass all of a sudden.  

Continue as you were? Even though now all you could think about was whether a touch might bring up a repulsive memory? Assume that you could singlehandedly overwrite centuries of disgust and loathing, overnight? How presumptuous and overbearing that would have been. 

Communicate? Ask? Listen? Sure. Absolutely. You did. Or tried, anyway. You were about as good at talking about these things as he was. And you didn’t really trust him to be completely honest at this point. Whether with you or his own self.  

And so you explored. Slowly, cautiously and attentively.

 

The most innocent touches seemed to bring him an inordinate amount of joy. You weren’t surprised.  

Passing him a vial of poison for his weapons and letting your fingers brush and caress one another’s, briefly. Wordlessly running a stray hand along his waist and planting a quick kiss under his ear while you walked past him as he stood talking with someone. Lingering with your foreheads or noses touching lightly after a kiss.

 

He leaped at any opportunity to massage your sore muscles or help you apply a salve, and you let him. It seemed he wanted to take care of you, and was working out all the ways how.  

He still pleasured you in different ways, at times.  

“You don’t have to...” 

“I want to,” he said. 

He just chose to keep his own pants on, now. You weren’t sure about his motivations. Could it be guilt? Or a misguided sense of self-worth? Did he still think this is all he was good for? Or, maybe you were completely overthinking it, and he was still just desperately horny, even if taking a step back. He was more present than before though, you could tell that much. 

You considered his reactions to other forms of touch, careful not to make your observation obvious. 

He hated being scratched. The entire area of his back covered in scars was off-limits for anything but embraces. He enjoyed playful bites, both giving and receiving. And more than anything, he loved holding you close, feeling as much of your body at once as possible, basking in its warmth.  

In turn, you were more than happy to wrap yourself around him when you could. 

“Why do you even like this?” he asked, apprehensive about it at first. “You don’t need to pretend for my sake. I can’t give you any warmth.” 

“I can give you mine,” you said, simply. “Besides, you obviously don’t remember what it’s like to lie in a puddle of sweat with someone who runs hot. This is a nice change.” you added after a moment of contemplation.  

You meant what you said, but you were dying to drag him into a hot bath, just to know what it would feel like for him to be warmed through. Maybe you’d get the chance once you got to Baldur’s Gate.

 

There happened to be a private room available at Last Light Inn that night. The group unanimously agreed that you and Astarion would take it, while the rest of your companions bunked in the common. 

“For Shar’s sake, piss off, none of us want to see or hear you two,” were the exact words of their blessing, delivered by Shadowheart. Karlach sanctified it by throwing a (deftly dodged) half-eaten apple at Astarion’s head.  

“Especially not hear!”

 

“I know this may come as a shock, but I’m actually not too fond of beds,” he said. 

“New memories, Astarion,” you shook your head. “Beds are non-negotiable. I wasn’t too fond of rutting in the dirt either.” 

“I’ll never grow tired of how poetic you are,” he smiled, unceremoniously throwing his gear on the floor. “New memories, you say?” 

A while later, you were straddling Astarion’s hips as he sat shirtless on the edge of the bed. 

“You know, you never did tell me what you like,” you sighed, your fingers in his hair as he kissed your neck.   

“Oh, what does anyone like? It’s all the same in the end,” he said, running his hands along your thighs. 

“That’s not true,” you murmured in his ear. “I can show you some things that are pretty unique to you right now,” you said and ran the tip of your tongue along the lower inner edge of his ear, making him shudder and let out a small moan.  

“You little devil, when did you figure that out?” he breathed.  

“When I happened to brush your ear a while back, like this,” you giggled, repeating the hand movement on his other ear, making him catch his breath slightly again, “and you just about started purring.” 

He just chuckled in response. 

“So what other secrets are you hiding?” you purred, kissing around his ear. “I might just need to kiss and caress every inch of your body to find out.” 

"Sounds like a terrible chore,” he said, falling back onto the bed and pulling you with him. “You don’t want to do that.” 

“Shut up and let me cherish you.” 

You kissed down along one side his neck, slowly, taking your time, pausing to lightly lick or nibble on any spot that made him hitch his breath. He was putty in your hands by the time you reached his collarbone. 

“Just don’t go any lower,” he said breathlessly. 

You hummed your agreement. You couldn’t handle going any lower yourself – you were completely intoxicated with the scent of his skin and the sound of his sighs of pleasure, if you went any lower, you would keep going, and you didn’t think it was a day for that yet.  

You continued up the other side of his neck instead.  

You hesitated for a moment before your lips reached the bite marks left by Cazador, but Astarion made no indication that he didn’t want you to keep going, and so you continued. He let out a soft whimper as your lips brushed the scars. 

“No?” you pulled back slightly, your hot breath still on his skin. He was lying with his eyes shut, head thrown back, neck completely exposed to you. 

“Yes...” he whispered, hoarsely. “Very yes... Softly...” 

You continued, lingering with your lips on the scars, as his fingers dug into the flesh of your hips, snapping them against his own and grinding you against an unmistakable erection. 

“I want you to make those marks your own... Yours and no one else’s...” he rasped. 

This is probably a mistake, you thought, but you could barely help yourself as you moaned into his neck and ran your tongue over the scars, making him growl and grind you into himself harder. The friction, the knowledge that he wanted it too was driving you mad.  

“I’m going to come if you don’t stop that,” you begged. 

“Go ahead,” he groaned. 

“Not without you.” 

Something in the energy changed then, and you lifted yourself off him, sitting up. Astarion stayed on his back a moment longer, before exhaling and also raising himself into a sitting position. You were still on his lap, facing him.  

“Listen,” he took your face in both hands, looking into your eyes intensely. “I want you so fucking bad, it hurts. I want to tear your clothes off and ravage you until you’re speaking in tongues. I do.” His voice was hoarse. He paused, before continuing. “But even more than that, I want to remember this, remember you, and not have any of the dirt from my past mixed into it. It’s difficult enough to keep it at bay as it is.” His eyes teared up at that. “And right now, for now, this is the only way I know how to do that.”  

“I’m sorry.” Tears sprang from your eyes. 

“No, you sweet idiot, you haven’t done anything wrong. I love you.” He gathered you in his arms, kissing away your tears as his own started to roll down. He sighed. “Great, now no one is coming, and everyone is crying.” 

You both burst out laughing as soon as those words were out of his mouth.  

You held each other a while longer, him stroking your back, before you broke the silence. 

“So the bite scars are pretty erogenous then?” 

“Extremely. Use that knowledge at your own risk and peril, darling.” 

He lifted your chin for a kiss. 

“Shall we go piss everyone off for a while, maybe steal Lae’zel’s boots, then come back here for more ‘memories’?” he asked.  

“Sounds childish and dangerous. I’m in.” 

You needed to clear your head too.  

Maybe tomorrow would be the day one of you would get closer to knowing what it was you were doing, and tell the other. Until then, at least you were in it together. 

~~~~~ 

The “I love you” is not canon for Act 2, but it is my headcanon, damnit.  

Like what you just read? Huzzah, there’s more! - Series master list

Next in series - Communication

AO3

[kleopatra45]

Moon in the Houses [Solar Return]

In astrology, a solar return chart is created for the exact moment the Sun returns to its natal position, which happens once a year around your birthday. This chart is used to forecast the year ahead. The position of the Moon in the solar return chart is particularly significant as it reflects your emotional focus and instinctual responses for the year.

Moon in the 1st House

This placement suggests a year where your emotions and instincts are closely tied to your sense of self and personal identity. You might feel more introspective and focused on understanding your emotional needs and desires. There could be a strong urge for self-expression and initiating new personal projects. Your emotional state may fluctuate more visibly to others, and you might seek emotional fulfillment through asserting your individuality and exploring new facets of your personality.

Moon in the 2nd House

Emotionally, you're likely to be focused on matters of material security, finances, and personal values. You may find comfort and emotional stability through financial stability or by indulging in material comforts. This placement suggests a year where your emotional well-being is closely tied to your sense of worth and what you consider valuable in your life. It's a time to reflect on how your values shape your emotional landscape and vice versa.

Moon in the 3rd House

With the Moon here, emotional energy is directed towards communication, learning, and intellectual pursuits. You may find yourself more emotionally engaged in discussions, writing, or learning new skills. Your emotional fulfillment may come through connecting with siblings, neighbors, or through short trips and local activities. It's a good time to nurture your mind and express your feelings through verbal or written means.

Moon in the 4th House

This placement suggests a year where home, family, and roots take center stage emotionally. You might feel a strong need for security and emotional comfort within your family or home environment. Your emotions are deeply tied to your sense of belonging and nurturing relationships with family members. It can be a time for healing old family wounds or strengthening bonds with loved ones. You may also find emotional solace through creating a more supportive and nurturing home environment.

Moon in the 5th House

Emotionally, you're drawn towards creativity, self-expression, romance, and pleasure. This placement suggests a year where you may find emotional fulfillment through hobbies, artistic pursuits, or romantic relationships. You may feel a stronger urge to express yourself creatively or to engage in activities that bring you joy and pleasure. It's a time to explore your passions and enjoy the lighter side of life.

Moon in the 6th House

With the Moon here, your emotional focus turns towards health, work, and daily routines. You may find emotional fulfillment through taking care of your physical well-being, establishing healthier habits, or finding satisfaction in your work environment. This placement suggests a year where you might be more attuned to the details of daily life and find emotional stability through a structured routine or by helping others in practical ways.

Moon in the 7th House

This placement suggests a year where relationships, partnerships, and one-on-one interactions are emotionally significant. You may find emotional fulfillment through establishing or deepening connections with others, both personally and professionally. Your emotional state is influenced by the quality of your relationships and your ability to find harmony and balance in them. It's a time to focus on cooperation, compromise, and understanding in your interactions with others.

Moon in the 8th House

Emotionally, you're likely to experience deep transformations, intense emotions, and a heightened awareness of shared resources and intimacy. This placement suggests a year where you may confront deep-seated fears or psychological issues, but also find emotional healing and renewal through confronting and processing them. Your emotional landscape is influenced by issues of trust, intimacy, and personal power dynamics. It's a time for profound emotional growth and facing hidden truths.

Moon in the 9th House

With the Moon here, your emotional energy is directed towards expansion, learning, and philosophical pursuits. You may find emotional fulfillment through travel, higher education, or exploring different belief systems. Your emotions are tied to your search for meaning and understanding the world on a broader scale. It's a time to explore new horizons, expand your perspective, and seek emotional growth through intellectual and spiritual pursuits.

Moon in the 10th House

This placement suggests a year where your emotional focus is on career, public image, and social status. You may find emotional fulfillment through achieving recognition, success, or a sense of accomplishment in your professional life. Your emotional well-being is tied to how you are perceived by others and your ability to achieve your ambitions. It's a time to focus on your goals, take on leadership roles, and establish a solid reputation in your field.

Moon in the 11th House

Emotionally, you're drawn towards friendships, social networks, and group activities. This placement suggests a year where you may find emotional fulfillment through involvement in social causes, community events, or through supportive friendships. Your emotional state is influenced by your sense of belonging to a larger group or community and your ability to connect with like-minded individuals. It's a time to nurture your friendships, expand your social circle, and contribute to collective goals.

Moon in the 12th House

With the Moon here, your emotional focus turns inward towards spirituality, introspection, and subconscious patterns. This placement suggests a year where you may experience heightened sensitivity, dreams, or intuitive insights. Your emotional well-being is influenced by solitude, introspection, and your ability to confront and release past emotional baggage. It's a time for spiritual growth, inner healing, and exploring the deeper layers of your psyche.

©️kleopatra45

[lilacstro]

your birthday and profections

hey!! I hope you all are doing fine. If its your birthday, then happy birthday haha(so random lmao) This is a long post, so you may need to read through :) Apart from your solar return, profection years are another way to check major themes of your year.

At its most basic, every age that’s a multiple of 12 is a 1st House year. So that’s when you turn 0, 12, 24, 36, 48, 60, 72 and so on.

Every year after is a 2nd house year, which is when you turn 1, 13, 25, 37, 49, 61, 73

3rd house year: 2, 14,26,38,50,62,74 and onwards

Once you know the house connected to your current age, you can plot your experience of life via the topics and themes of each of the 12 houses.

Themes House wise:

1st House - Self, Identity, Beginnings (YOU CHANGE)

Self-image, appearance, first impressions, approach to life, early environment, physical body, persona

2nd House - Value, Possessions (YOUR PERSONAL BELIEFS CHANGE)

Finances, personal resources, material wealth, values, self-worth, assets, possessions, spending habits

3rd House - Communication, Learning

Communication, siblings, local travel, early education, writing, neighbors, short trips, mental processes

4th House - Home, Family

Home, family, ancestry, roots, real estate, emotional foundation, private life, parents

5th House - Creativity, Pleasure

Creativity, romance, children, play, entertainment, hobbies, self-expression, speculation

6th House - Work, Health (TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH)

Daily work, service, health, routine, fitness, diet, pets, responsibilities

7th House - Partnerships

Marriage, partnerships, close relationships, contracts, public relations, collaboration

8th House - Transformation, Shared Resources

Transformation, death and rebirth, inheritance, shared resources, taxes, sexuality, mysteries, occult

9th House - Exploration, Higher Learning (YOUR LUCK CHANGES)

Higher education, philosophy, long-distance travel, religion, law, beliefs, exploration, publishing

10th House - Career, Public Life

Career, public image, reputation, social status, authority, ambitions, government, recognition

11th House - Social Networks, Aspirations

Keywords: Friendships, social groups, networks, aspirations, community, collective causes, social activities, ideals

12th House - Subconscious, Solitude (YOU CONNECT MORE WITH YOUR SOUL AND HIGHER SELF AND PURPOSE)

Subconscious, solitude, secrets, endings, spirituality, isolation, hidden enemies, mysticism

Your Time Lord for the Year

The other thing profections will do is turn on a planet as the ruler or ‘lord’ of your year ahead. This is called a time lord. This planet will be the traditional ruling planet of the sign on the profected house.

For example, your profected house by age is the 7th House, look at the sign in that house. Gemini in 7th? Mercury is the ruler. Taurus in 7th? Venus is your time lord.

This planet becomes a guiding influence for your year ahead. Not that if you have Venus as your time lord you will fall in love daily lmao, But rather, you will experience rulership of this planet affecting your themes of the year. I hope im making sense.

Planets in Houses

Next, check the placements and themes of your profected house in your natal chart. For instance, everyone turning 18 will be in a 7th house year BUT each person will have different planets in their 7th house, and a different sign ruling the house.

For example, my 7th house is empty, and in my 18th year nothing major or life changing has happened, I am on my gap year.

If you have Mars in your 7th House, then your Mars themes – developing or managing assertiveness in partnerships, dealing with a little tension, the impact other people have on your decision making process, that type of thing – are highlighted for that year.

If you have Pluto in your 7th house, then themes like power, struggles, isolation and transformation maybe highlighted that year.

I hope it makes sense, use this for both, your time lord and the ruler of your profected house: Sun: Vitality, Identity, Ego

Self-expression, leadership, creativity, purpose, individuality, confidence, recognition

Moon: Emotions, Nurturing, Instincts

Emotions, intuition, habits, home life, family, subconscious, nurturing, cycles, forming close relations

Mercury: Communication, Intellect, Movement

Communication, thinking, learning(even life lessons, or about yourself), travel, writing, siblings, negotiation, information, introspection

Venus: Love, Beauty, Harmony

Relationships, attraction, beauty, art, values, pleasure, social life, harmony, indulgence

Mars: Action, Desire, Conflict

Energy, drive, ambition, aggression, initiative, sexuality, competition, courage, assertiveness

Jupiter: Growth, Expansion, Wisdom

Growth, expansion, luck, optimism, philosophy, higher learning, travel, abundance, generosity

Saturn: Structure, Discipline, Limitation

Structure, discipline, responsibility, limitations, authority, perseverance, time, maturity, career

Uranus: Innovation, Change, Rebellion

Innovation, rebellion, change, freedom, individuality, technology, unexpected events, unconventionality

Neptune: Dreams, Intuition, Mysticism

Dreams, intuition, mysticism, spirituality, illusion, compassion, imagination, escapism, idealism

Pluto: Transformation, Power, Depth

Transformation, power, depth, rebirth, intensity, secrets, control, regeneration, shadow self

Chiron: Healing, Wounds, Growth

Healing, wounds, inner growth, wisdom, teaching, mentoring, empathy, vulnerability, self-discovery

PLANETS RULED BY AGE Ages 1 to 4 of your life is ruled by the Moon. Ages 5 to 14 is ruled by Mercury. Ages 15 to 22 is ruled by Venus. Ages 22 to 41 is ruled by the Sun. Ages 42 to 56 is ruled by Mars. Ages 57 to 68 is ruled by Jupiter. Ages 68 to death is ruled by Saturn.

I hope I explained it well, combining your profected house, time lord and the planets in the profected house and the ruling planet of your age, you can get some information about the themes and effects you might be experiencing in your life and use it as a guide for your betterment.

support me on ko-fi :)

Remember, nothing is bad/challenging and you always have free will for the most part of your life and you dont have to subscribe to things you dont wish for, all the best<33

If you want, leave suggestions and feedback for the next post in asks, and comments :)

[chaisshitposts]

𝐏𝐒𝐘𝐂𝐇-𝐊 / 𝐖𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐄 𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐅𝐒 + 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅-𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆

what is psych-k? •°. *࿐

according to the psych-k frequently asked questions, PSYCH-K, "is a proven and safe way to change subconscious beliefs that perpetuate old habits of thinking and behaving that you would like to change."^1 dumbing it down, you are using psych-k to tap into your subconscious and conscious simultaneously, rewiring your brain with a single affirmation. and while doing this, you may begin to have a rush of negative, limiting thoughts, but instead of pushing them away in frustration, you will invite them in. think of it like this... you are the teacher and your affirmation is a brand-new lecture. you're standing at the front of the room in front of many desks, all filled with 'students' aka your thoughts, emotions, etc. as you are 'lecturing' (repeating this affirmation over and over and over) the 'students' begin to disrupt you with hurtful words or overall trying to debate with your 'lecture'. how do you handle this? you continue to 'lecture', you can continue to listen to your 'students', and eventually, the 'students' will quiet down until there's complete silence and that's when your 'lecture' has started to implement its knowledge into your 'students'.

how does psych-k work? •°. *࿐

"PSYCH-K® is a unique process, having evolved from years of brain research and thousands of sessions with individuals and groups. It creates a receptive, “Whole-Brain State” that dramatically reduces unwanted resistance to change in the subconscious mind. The subconscious can be accessed in a way analogous to a personal computer. PSYCH-K® works as a kind of ‘mental keyboard’ — a user-friendly method of communicating with the subconscious mind that is simple, direct, and verifiable."^2

has there been scientific research on psych k? •°. *࿐

absolutely. if you'd like to read more about this, you can go here and download the various articles and give them a quick read.

how does psych-k differ from other methods as well as other healing techniques such as meditation? •°. *࿐

if you're looking for a thorough answer to this question, feel free to look at this for reference as it better explains the answer to this question in its entirety. the bottom line, however, is that this technique is just as important as others and is not meant to replace any other methods, it is simply another addition. many healing techniques will depend on outside sources of the person, such as a psychologist, hypnotist, or anyone with similar titles. however, psych-k will depend on the inner-workings of those who are performing it, psych-k simply provides the tools and you, the one who is getting into this 'whole brain state' are the one actually doing all of the work. you will be the one taking apart your limiting beliefs and replacing them with whatever you truly desire.

will it benefit me? •°. *࿐

PSYCH-K, "[...] enables you to communicate with your subconscious mind so you can change beliefs that are limiting your self-esteem, relationships, job performance, even your physical health…and much more! PSYCH-K® is popularly characterized as a spiritual process with psychological and physical benefits. While the term “psych” is often used as an abbreviation for “psychology,” in our case it is used as a variant spelling of the word psyche, meaning “mind,” “soul,” or “spirit.” The letter “K” represents the Key to sustainable success."^3

why should i test out the psych method? •°. *࿐

just like anything else, you do not need to try this out, however, what do you have to lose? the results may shock you.

can anyone do the psych-k technique? •°. *࿐

absolutely anyone can do the psych-k, it is not limited to any particular group of people, and it can effect people differently depending on how they use it.

how do i do psych-k? •°. *࿐

there are many videos on YouTube that will provide a visual guide of instructions on how to do it, however, this is the video that I use and I highly recommend that you watch the entire video to get a logical understanding of what's happening (if you prefer logical info like I do). and if you're having trouble figuring out how to position your hands, watch this video as well. I'd also like to mention that if you're unsure of which side of your brain has more resistance to a new belief, set yourself a timer for 5 minutes and do psych-k with your left ankle crossed over your right and your left hand crossed over your right. after the timer goes off, switch your right ankle to cross over your left, and your right hand to cross over your left. a l s o, if you decide to have resistance against this method bc or any method in general (bc you're stubborn perhaps), take the time to do psych-k and affirm that all methods work for you, boom, fuckin' foolproof.

can i use psych-k to manifest anything i desire? •°. *࿐

yes, yes you can, you're changing your beliefs right in the moment, there are no fuckin' limits unless you create those limits for yourself.

can i use psych k to enter the void state? •°. *࿐

yes, you can do anything you want with psych-k. @urgurljodie has a bit more information on this, but, i am aware that they sent an ask to someone and stated that while doing psych-k you should affirm that you're in the void state/in the void etc.

how do i know if I'm doing it right? •°. *࿐

there's no need to overcomplicate this, don't fear the replacement. simply sit down, get into position as instructed in the videos provided above, and follow their words. stay in the psych-k position for as long as needed, repeating your new belief over and over, invite the resistance in, and simply keep thinking this new thought until you no longer feel resistance towards your new belief. you'll know if you did it right, promise. may sound unbelievable at first, but again, what do you have to lose?

can i combine psych-k with the laws of manifestation? •°. *࿐

absolutely, use any affirmations you want.

do i have to do psych k to eliminate limiting beliefs? •°. *࿐

nope! this is simply just another method of sorts, you don't need to try anything you don't want to. no one is forcing this shit down your throat...

notes •°. *࿐

i'd recommend this technique that combines psychology and kinesiology to anyone and everyone who thinks they are struggling to build new beliefs or manifest their dream lives. the worse that could happen is that it doesn't work or it just takes you a little longer to replace the programming in your mind. give it a try and report your results. a l s o, before anyone comes at me i will give proper and due credit to @urgurljodie for bringing light to this technique to the tumblr void community, ya should be thanking them for this. this particular technique has thoroughly pleased the logical and more scientific-based limiting beliefs I've had for a while. this post was simply meant to add onto what's already been established, all due credits go to the developer of the technique of rob williams as well as the tumblr user mentioned above.

references.

all of the quoted information comes from this site.

1. https://psych-k.com/faq/#what

2. https://psych-k.com/faq/#what

3. https://psych-k.com/faq/#what

4. here's some information on muscle testing and psych-k

5. clearer instructions for the correct posture (en)

6. more information on the whole brain state

[just-your-average-tangerine]

So, a lot of people are talking on my 'people assume gay trans men aren't shamed for our sexualities' post about things like the transphobic use of fujoshi, and being called a straight girl, things of that nature.

Which is all very important, and so I'm not going to edit or add to that post. That post can be about that now. But that's not entirely what I meant, and I think this needs to be addressed as well so:

Cis gay men are shamed for their sexuality because men are "supposed" to be attracted to women, so being attracted to men deviates from that. Often, this shame and mistreatment starts young. Gay men grow up being taught that the attraction they experience is wrong, even before they're old enough to understand it.

And so people assume that gay trans men, raised as girls, aren't shamed in that way. We're attracted to the "correct" gender therfore there is no "deviance," and we're not treated as such. When that is, very often, not the case.

I've talked before about my joke that I knew I was a gay man before I knew I was a man. But I remember being 10 or 11 years old amd hearing my mothers very southern baptist friend who worked a museum in the park where pride was held, talking about "those men" and "how disgusting" it is and that she "wouldn't wish seeing that on anybody". And I remember sinking down in my chair, hoping no one saw me, because I knew she was talking about me. I didn't know what being gay was, I didn't know what pride was, but I knew that this thing she hated was me.

When I was taught that snapping a rubber band on your wrist is a good way to break a bad habit, I decided that I could "fix myself" by snapping the rubber band every time I felt even the most basic passing interest in the "wrong gender". Except, the interest I felt wrong about was my attraction to men. That's what I felt ashamed of, that's when I felt like I was doing something wrong. I would go through cycles of checking out a guy at the mall, feeling ashamed, snapping that rubber band, then realizing that was supposed to be right, forcing myself to check out girls, just to punish myself for it. By the time I started to accept my queerness, I convinced myself I was bisexual solely because I didn't feel like I was doing something wrong by being with a girl. It didn't appeal to me, I had no interest in being a relationship with a girl, especially not long term. But I wasn't ashamed of it, so it must be right.

I know so many other gay trans men who experienced things like this. And yet the assumption that we couldn't have this experience is used to deny us community with cis gay men on the grounds that we "just don't understand what its like to grow up gay."

[ghostieyanyan]

♡~Yandere Valentine in Twisted Wonderland~♡

Yan!Twisted wonderland x mc (separated)

sorry this is a bit late but here's some of my short takes on valentines day in twisted wonderland!

Warnings: yandere, lack of proof reading (sorry), collars, pet-play, drugs, manipulation, hinting nsfw, beating someone up, dead animal, wedding, hidden camera, (if theres anything missing please do tell me)

~~~~~

Riddle

Riddle has been planning something for you before February even started, probably before new year too. He understand that he doesn't really have a nurturing touch, thanks to his mom, like the others do. But that wouldn't stop him from trying his best to make you feel special.

He'll ask you to have tea with him and if you happen to be distracted by "other matters." he doesn't mind using his unique spell and pull you around by the collar, like a dog.

"its very rude to not pay attention to the person that invited you out.."

~~~~~

Trey

As a vice house warden, he understands that you'll be busy. not just Crowley giving you either impossible or pointless work, or the fact that every boy from each and every dorm are falling to their feet just for you on valentines day, hoping you'll notice them.

Trey knows he's not like some flash students here but he knows what he's good at and doesn't need to try too hard like some other desperate students.

"Hey, perfect! i made you something, your favorite, with a little personal Trey touch~ you should probably eat it all now. Before Grim does."

~~~~~

Cater

Cater is pretty good at getting your attentions. Magicless other worlder, he just has to invite you to something outside of NRC and then watch as your eyes sparkles. Kind of reminds him of a little kid that just need extra attention which he's happy to do.

He'll show you cool different places, shops and cafes. All these cool places are picture perfect and he just loves dressing up with you. from an outside eye, it almost looks like you 2 are dating~

"Perfect! Look at this! we should totally take a picture here with our treats! Say "Happy Valentines Day~!"

~~~~~

Ace

You were very confused on why Ace has been grumpy all day. you tried everything to make him feel better but nothing. You bought him food, drinks, candy from Sam's. nothing.

After the day was over, you made it back to the dorm and Ace decided to follow you back? you tried to ask him what's wrong buy he swiftly grabbed you and rush to your room!

"All day has been a pain.. everyone gawking at you. All the meaningless gifts. All of it! Tonight, you're gonna make it up to me by letting me sleep with you!"

~~~~~

Deuce

Deuce wants to turn a new leaf and doesn't want to look back at his delinquent side every again. he's a new deuce now, a student that's just trying to get good grades and trying to be well respected. but old habits die hard.

Any and every time some one even looks in your way, he's sending daggers at them. and if they don't get the hide, he'll tell you that he needs to use the restroom and for you to stay where you are until he's back. he'll be quick...

"sorry it took me a while, there was.. a long line... wanna get lunch now?"

~~~~~

Leona

Leona, normally, doesn't care for this holiday. his brother always ask him if he's "stolen any hearts" this year? its always the same answer. but this year was different.

For once, he gotten some valentines gift. he remembered, not because he was eavesdropping, he just sleeping and you and your friends were talking about valentines gifts. how you had too many and how you might have to do several trips to bring them back to your dorm...

when you looked at your pile of valentines, instead of valentines, you saw sand.. and a plush lion with a card, flowers, and chocolate..

~~~~~

Ruggie

Ruggie cant really communicate with his grandma that much, cause they're not in a position to have phones but he does send letters now and then.

Each letter has there, 'how are you?'s to their 'are you taking care of yourself?'s. Now his letters to his grandma had this mysterious person, and how 'he's feels his heart flutter whenever they're near.' there also might be some 'I'm worried that I'm not good enough' he was very happy to get this letter back

"don't worry, sweetheart~ you should bring them over and ill give them a good talking to."

~~~~~

Jack

Jack tried everything to stay away from you all day. You're smell was just too intoxicating for him. Jack didn't want to risk spending time with you and his instinct...

he could tell, the other beastmen felt the same way. So all day, he kept his distance while also putting other beastmen in their place when they get a little too handy with you. luckily you didn't notice a thing.

But when you approached him, he couldn't just push you away. you mean too much to him. he doesn't want you to see him like.. a monster.

"Hi, prefect. how's you're day..?"

~~~~~

Azul

Azul tried to just charm you with his charisma alone, no shady actions, no "read the fine print." it seem like he was on his best behavior all day. it made you feel uncomfortable for a hot while.. but after a few hours you gotten use to it.

It was all in Azul's plan. instead of flatly telling you or tricking you to form a contact with him. he was gonna show you that you could rely on him, to trust him. so when you do sign a contact with him, you're guard will be so low, you wouldn't ever dare look at the fine print

"Prefect? Would you like to stop by Mosta lounge for lunch? there's a special i know you'll love. oh! its on the house."

~~~~~

Jade

before valentines day, Jade asked you to go out with him on a hilling trip. you'll find great mushrooms and if you find any 'shiny treasure' you could keep it as payment. you felt bored at the time and went with it. it was pretty fun. Jade taught you about wildlife and camping and you just enjoyed being out and about, anywhere than Grim's messes was a fresh air.

But on one of the day's out, Jade fell and hurt himself! it'll take a while for you guys to head back so you both decided to just wait until it heals, or when jade is "strong enough" to head back.

"aww.. prefect, you're too sweet for taking care of me~"

~~~~~

Floyd

Floyd has been a pin to your side all day. every time you were just talking to your friends or in line for lunch or whatever, Floyd comes out of nowhere, picks you up and runs away from your friends. it doesn't help that his long legs gives him a big advantage. the fact you cant struggle that much and the fact that you're friends cant keep up with Floyd...

When he finally gets alone time with you he just wants to play or just stare at you... its a mix really. sometimes he'll tell you he wants to show you a trick he learned from the basketball club. sometimes he just wants to walk around with you on his shoulders. but one things for sure, everyone is staying far away from both of you...

"Shrimpy! look at this! it kind of reminds me of you.. cause you're smol~"

~~~~~

Kalim

Lets admit it, when Kalim falls in love, he falls HARD. Like he would spoil his love rotten if he could. But he knows that you wouldn't allow him to do so, cause you're just too sweet.

Kalim loves to watch you work sometimes, you're so hard working even though you're in a situation that he couldn't imagine. Far from home with no contacted to your families, that's terrible. but he'll show you that he could help solve all your problems. But he doesn't want to overwhelm you so he'll start small.

"HEY PREFECT!!! Look what i got you! Golden bangles! they have our initials on them too! Come on, try them on! I'll help."

~~~~~

Jamil

Jamil could easily used his unique spell on you but with it being Valentines day plus every student's having their eyes on you, he cant do it without getting caught. So, he'll have have to charm you with the next best thing, food.

He understand the for some people, food is their love language. He wasn't sure if that's you but he does know that you love his food. so a win is a win.

He'll make you not only your favorite foods but his own too. As a "get to know me" dish. Watching you enjoy his hard work, was like breathing fresh air. he loves your presence.

"here prefect, you can have more. i made it for you after all. hmm..? oh repayment? just repay me by spending the day with me.. just me."

~~~~~

Vil

Without warning, on a weekend, Vil grabs you and tells you get to dress. he's taking you out. You couldn't really say no to him so off you went.

He took you to store to store to store. Each store had either something he liked or something he didn't. did you have a say in anything? no.

It felt weird a bit but overtime that feeling went away and you were left with giving Vil a mini show fashion show... with just you and him...

~~~~~

Rook

Saying Rook loved you was an understatement. he loved your hair, your eyes, your walk, your demeaner, everything. On one of his strolls by your dorm, he noticed that you were taking care of a stray animal in your backyard.

You left food for it, you made a spot it could rest, you had a whole set up. even though you don't have a lot of money, you're golden heart shined through. He felt like cupid just struck him through the heart. He would like to do the same to you...

so on Valentines day, you found a box at your door step. inside the box... was your stray friend's lifeless body...

~~~~~

Epel

Epel's family loves to send him letters, he at least gets one every week. they're all mostly asking if he needs anything or family updates, etc. But now talks about you his letter. last time he visited his family, they kept asking about you.

Epel feeling the pressure of his family, told them that you and him were together and how you had "other things to take care of" and that's why you're not with him. they seem to calm down and jumped to another family topic. Now Epel has to convince you to "pretend" hopefully don't for long, that he was your boyfriend for his family.

"umm... hey prefect? i have a favor to ask you..?"

~~~~~

Idia

Idia normally doesn't care of any holidays, in general. he mainly does them for his brother or whenever a game was having a seasonal event. but he couldn't say he had someone special to "sit by the fireplace with him with hot chocolate" or "having a picnic out in spring" or even "being or having a valentine"... He didn't mind it...

which what he'll normally say, until he saw you with your pile of valentines day gifts! augh.. why do you have to be so popular?!

With a lot of pushing from ortho, he finally gave you your gift. it was a blue teddy that looked like hades. You didn't have to know about the hidden camera and mic in it. you could just thank him by sleeping with it~

~~~~~

Malleus

Malleus couldn't really celebrate valentine's day.. he's a prince of Briar Valley, after all. Having him give a valentines day gift can be interpreted as a marriage proposal. that will look every bad for Briar Valley. But the heart wants what it cant have~

His heart belonged to you and he would gladly throw away his position as a prince for you. or... he could just ask you to marry him?

He didn't want anything to come to harm you because of him, so in secret, he made you a wedding dress/suit. Until his graduation, he'll ask you to marry him and then he'll pick you up and off to Briar Valley, ruling together~

~~~~~

Lilia

Lilia loves a good trip. So many places to see, so many things to do. He wants to take you to see it all. why stay at NRC and just reading about other places when you could go out with him. he may be older but he could still protect you with all he has and he'll still be able to show you a fun time. Oh maybe he should show you how to fight?

He's had his eyes on you since you came to the school, you were so strange but you are never boring. something always happened with you around but you all ways find a way out of it. you're, well..... perfect.

"Prefect! guess who got 2 tickets to Shaftland! why just two? for me and you silly. come on, get your things. I'm gonna show you so much more of this twisted wonderland"

~~~~~

Silver

You understand that Silver is just a tried guy. so you do everything in your power to make sure he's okay and not gonna get hurt. After a while of this, you've noticed that Silver's holds on you, when ever you go and move him to a safer place, is more forceful than normal? You just told yourself that it was just sleepy silver but it doesn't seem like silver noticed and you didn't mind.

Whenever Silver was awake, you noticed that he's always just a call away. he wasn't over your shoulder or anything but you did see him more often than you usual did... were you thinking too much on this..?

"hey prefect? i got you some treats from Sam's... happy valentines day~"

~~~~~

Sebek

Sebek is loud. that is not an understatement. bet Sebek probably knows that too. he often uses it to tell other to "respected Malleus." but today he was oddly quiet? you tried to ask him if everything was okay, he said he's fine. Also whenever the other first years asked, he'll snap but not at his normal loud tone?

Without you realizing, Sebek was actually fighting an inner demon of his. Humans, like yourself, were so small and weak. yes, Silver is human too but he's a trained human, you weren't.

He sometimes wonders... how easy would it be to over-power yo-

~❦~❦~❦~

Che'nya

When Che'nya first appear in front of you with just his head, you, ace, and deuce all screamed. he loved it~ but your little squeak whenever you get scared, gets his blood pumping. like the rush you get when you catch you first mouse~

He started to visit more often then before, but not just to say hi to trey and riddle. but to spook their little perfect. a pick to the side here. a blowing into your ear there.

He just cant keep his hands off you! the best part, he doesn't have plans on even telling you it was him.

~~~~~

Neige

but to Vil's dismay, Neige kept bugging him about you! the mysterious manager~ Vil got so tired on it that he just pointed him to your dorm. Which Neige was happy to run to see you.

When he saw you place, he's heart broke a little. how could someone so lovely as you, live in a dump like this? He found you out in the back yard cleaning. it kind of reminded him of himself, run down building taking care of others. you were perfect for him!

"Heya! perfect, right? i was wondering, would you like to go on a date with me?"

~~~~~

Rollo

Rollo will not caught walking into THAT school. but that wont stop him from appreciating you. Whether it takes a few days to a few years, Rollo swears to himself that he will save you from the hell hole your in.

but in the mean time he'll send you some flowers and a gift basket filled with Fleur City treats and fun toys that you liked when you last visit. if only you were in that school and you were in his, he'll show you so much and treat you much better than those.. "monsters."

"If though I'm not there, i hope you enjoy my gift. maybe next time you could visit again and I'll give you a personal tour."

~❦~❦~❦~

you can see this as platonic or romantic

~~~~~

Crowley

Crowley is a very strange bird man? says he cares for you then runs away with his feather tail in between his legs. Or when he just hands you work when he could easily do them himself. He's a very strange man so when he was insisting on you to stay by his side all day? it confused you.

like he'll have you in his office and when you tell him you needed to go. he'll "get sad" and say "awww.. i guess ill just power through all this paper work"

you thought he just wanted you to do the paper work (that you could do) so you did. you didn't figure out that maybe he just wanted you by his side so no one could see/ give you anything for valentines day.

~~~~~

Crewel

Crewel is a very classic man. so when he asked you to help him with some of his designs, you were quite confused. why not ask Vil or anyone from pomefiore? nonetheless, you helped as best as you can. giving your input on designs, telling him what you thought looked nice, getting materials for him, etc.

After you helped him make a set, he asked you to model them for him. he "wanted it on an actual person than a motionless mannequin."

You didnt know that he was doing this so you wouldnt be laying down with dogs with fleas today. Crewel thinks all the boys in this school are just crazy the fact its valentines day. so having you help him was just killing 2 bird with one stone.

~~~~~

Trein

Trein's cat, Lucius, seemed fine to you. but you couldn't say much when Trein asked you to help him look after his beloved pet. plus a cat that doesn't call you Hedgeman felt nice. a cat that was just a normal cat, that can understand you and talk but you don't understand it...

On Valentines Day, Trein tells you about his wife and what they do together on this day. It was really sweet to hear an old man talk about his love, plus his life too.

It felt nice and you enjoyed the time you spend together. you still couldnt tell if Lucius was actually sick or if he was just winning about food...

~~~~~

Vargas

You had no idea what came over Vargas. But when it was gym time and there was any partner exercises, it seems like he'll give the poor guys, that asked you to be partners, more hard exercises.

it could be in your head but after you're done, you see the poor student crying for squats or something? Will he be okay?

"oh, don't worry about him. he's been slacking off recently so its just catching up with him. HAHA!"

~~~~~

Sam

Sam is quite busy on Valentines day. a lot of students ask for valentines day cards, bears, to flowers. some even get the custom order. with those custom orders, he realized a lot of them were for you... he might not be able to do anything.. but his friends might help.

when same gives the students the valentines day gifts, he has a shadow follow them and when they're not looking. the shadow destroys the gift and runs away.

it kills two bird with one stone. they cant give the perfect gifts and Sam still gets the money. oohh he loves what he does~

~~~~~

[lorelune]

bathtime

|| blade x reader || M || captive reader x necrobiome blade || wc: 5.1k  || ao3 || previous + next ->

Even the best bath water will find it difficult to cleanse 'sin'.

minors, antis, and ageless blogs dni

notes: well hello :3c welcome to part 3 of the architect-verse :3cc been cooking on this one for awhile 🙏 yandere blade is such a guy and scummy manipulative mommy kafka is so fun to write :3ccc thank you for beloved @ofmermaidstories for doing a read through on this one 🥺♥!! enjoy enjoy enjoy 💓

CW: dark content, yandere blade, captive/pet reader, discussions of noncon, references to past noncon on blade while he was underage and as an adult, references to past noncon on reader, use of the word rape, violence/thoughts of violence, past yingxing/dan feng, toxic blade/kafka

It’s normal for Blade to return to the Stellaron Hunters’ main vessel covered in assorted types of gore. Scraps of rent flesh, smears of blood, bile, scales— tendons and sinew wrapped under his forearms, clinging from the pressure of impact light-years away. The smell of it clings to him, still fresh, just barely beginning to rot. He stews in it during his typical return in small, covert starships. He half-suffocates with the stench of death.  

This is typical. Blade does not carry any opinion about it. If anything, he welcomes the potential of asphyxiation, though it never comes. 

Most routinely, Kafka will greet him as he returns and take him to clean up. Occasionally, when she is indisposed, Silver Wolf will be forced to hose him down in the communal gym shower or Sam will dunk him in the bath by the scruff of his neck. Blade does not... particularly enjoy the latter two options. Though he isn't sure entirely why, and he doesn't tend to dwell on it either. 

When Kafka collects him, it is easier, if nothing else. Less fuss, less grimacing over the smell of burgeoning rot and complaining that Blade should do this prior to arriving home. Blade doesn't care about the other Stellaron Hunters’ complaints, not really, but it does make the ordeal longer than it needs to be. 

(And maybe, maybe, he does not like being drenched in bone-chilling water and soaked clothing. He hates it.) 

Kafka will lead Blade back to her own room, strip him, and give him a warm bath. Frequently, she’ll take off her own clothing and join him. She’ll hold him close, his back to her front. Kafka likes when she is able to cow him into resting against her front, cow him into resting his cheek against her breasts while she scrubs away the worst of the grime. 

Never mind that they share the same, red-tinged bathwater. 

(Occasionally, things escalate. Touch that volleys between innocent and clinical and sexual. Kafka will stroke down the planes of his body, reach for his cock, and bring him to release. It’s— it's nice. He thinks. He can't tell.) 

It's hard to tell anything in the steam of the bath. Though Kafka's presence renders his mara mute, proximity makes it writhe regardless. It is not a soundless beast, though it loses its words. Muddy feelings, rather than anything clear cut. It's a reprieve regardless. 

This is why Blade prefers to be cleaned by Kafka. 

... 

This mission, however, Blade receives a text from Kafka during his return journey that she will be out. Along with Silver Wolf. And that Sam is charging and shouldn't be disturbed.  

However— 

Kafka: 

why don't you see if our little stray is up for a bath, bladie? 

There's a thought. One Blade hadn't considered. 

(There's a whisper of a refusal in the back of his mind. 'No'. Blade is not sure why. It is quiet but sure of itself.) 

Blade: 

When will you be back. 

Kafka: 

tomorrow. don't wait up until then. listen, just ask. 

Kafka's mind weaving does not work over text. But it is, regardless, difficult to resist her command. This is habit. 

Blade idles outside of your room. He has dripped mess across the vessel and left little piles of flesh and muscle in his wake. The quiet sound of blood splattering against the floor (his, maybe, though his regeneration should be almost complete) makes him aware of this. 

It feels uncouth to enter your room like this. 

Blade shakes himself off and leaks scarlet droplets against the metal paneling. methodically, he releases the five locks on your door. Each clicks when fully disarmed, and by the time Blade enters, you're already looking up at the door, eyes wide. 

You're tucked into bed with a soft blanket over your lap. A tablet (a gift from silver wolf at Kafka's behest. For 'good behavior'. Not connected to any internet, but you've told Blade it helps pass the time.) 

The device is promptly forgotten as you push yourself out of bed, "Aeons, Blade, what happened? Are you hurt?" 

You approach him with no caution. It's reckless. It's foolish, especially with this much adrenaline tumbling around between his eyes and in his veins. He has the distinct urge to shove you away and into the floor. Compress you until you break and bleed and bleed and break. 

Blade does not. 

Instead, he lets you flit around him. He lets you draw your own conclusions. 

You are not foolish. You know he is dangerous; he knows you know this. It is your... good nature that creases the surely-soft skin between your brows. It's your kindness that has you frazzled, shaking in your hands as you hover over him. Searching for wounds that are mostly healed. 

"Blade, I said, are you hurt?" You ask, voice strained, bent at the waist while examining a slice in his pants. A lance had torn his calve wide open. It has already healed. 

"I'm fine." 

"Sure." You don't sound convinced, frowning. "You look like shit. Am I really supposed to believe that?" 

"I have already healed. my injuries are no longer a concern." 

"... Really?" 

"I am an abomination of Yaoshi. This is my nature." 

You already know this, yet you look defeated. Your jaw is tight. "Uh-huh. Alright. Fuck, do you feel alright?" 

"I'm fine. I need to be clean." 

"... Alright?" 

"I need to bathe." 

"... I see that... Do you want me to call Kafka?" 

"She's off ship." 

"Oh, fuck." you curse and shake your head. "I-is she going to be back soon?" 

"No. Help me instead." 

"M-me?" Your voice trembles and you take a fearful step back. Ever the skittish thing. something in him— sort of him— vibrates. 

"Yes." 

"Can you— not?" 

"It's cumbersome to wash on my own." 

"I see." You run a hand over your cheeks and adjust the wide collar of your shirt. It’s too big. It’s one of his— probably? A sleep shirt. One that Kafka stole from him to give to you. He knows you own several. "Alright. Okay. Fine. Fuck, I-I can help." 

You shoo him into your bathroom. 

You turn away from him almost immediately, poking around in a cabinet, plucking brightly colored products and muttering under your breath. Kafka mentioned that isolation is getting to you more than you think. She thinks it's cute. 

Blade wordlessly begins to strip. First off is his blood-soaked overcoat, shredded around his ribs and with massive gouges taken out of the back. Then his undershirt. Followed by his pants. One of his belts rings a metallic clink as he undoes it. 

You choose this moment to turn around and your eyes go wide. 

"BLADE!" You cover your eyes, dropping a bottle. "What are you— you can't just do that." 

"Do what?" 

"Get... naked?" 

"You are going to help me bathe. This is necessary." 

"I understand that." You sound exasperated. Your voice is shaky. The tone is pulling something in the back of his mind. The corners of his lips almost want to curl upwards. "But you can't just strip without warning. Aeons, have some manners." 

Blade nearly laughs— good-naturedly. The urge to is something dormant and poisonous. Seldom used. Usually it's a sharp impulse, but it's almost warm now. Tepid and pleasant.  

(All for you.) 

You cover your eyes as you fumble to turn on the tap, "At least go rinse off a little in the shower first, please?" 

Doable, albeit difficult. Blade grunts something akin to an affirmative and finds your shower. He turns the water on (hot or cold doesn't seem... relevant) and steps in. The spray pours down from the ceiling, sending the worst of the gore down the drain. 

Blade does not move for quite some time.  

"Blade?" you ask warily. "You... done in there?" 

It takes him a moment to reply. The cold spray lags him, "Yes." 

"... Can you come out? The bath is ready." 

He idles, thinking about your question. The softness of your voice. The candle that he can smell, lit on the countertop. You yourself, dressed in soft lounge clothes and covered in scars that strangers gave you. He thinks about the way skin and muscle rend under his blade. The way yours could. Under him. Under— 

"Blade." 

You open the glass shower door, worry-eyed. 

He blinks at you. 

Gently, you grab his arm. He flinches with it. Has half a mind to slam you into the tile until you pop like an perfectly ripe fruit— 

But he doesn't. 

"C’mon, bath time," you coax him out, dripping, careful to not look down. It’s a preservation of modesty. It feels useless, Blade thinks, as he pulls away to clamor into the bath. 

... There are bubbles. Fragrant and herbal, with a soft oil shimmering on the top of the water. It is the perfect temperature. It feels... good. He forgets how nice warmth is. He softens. You heave out a sigh and settle next to him, outside the bath. There's a dampened washcloth, already in your hand. 

"Is it okay if I touch you?" You ask. 

"I don't care." 

"Give me a yes or a no,” you press him, glaring a little. You roll up your sleeves and rise to your knees. 

"Yes, then." He does not care. Do you not understand? 

(You probably don't. You definitely don't.) 

Your expression is unreadable as you dunk the rag into the bathwater and begin to wash him. First his right arm, then his left. Gently rubbing him down, taking extra care with his hands. The rag is gentle over his stiff fingers. You check under each of his nails individually. 

You’re meticulous. 

You ask a question or two about how he washes himself, specifically his hair, but Blade can't give you answers. Kafka stocks his bathroom. His bottles are numbered, and he never deviates from their preassigned order. It is easier that way. Even in Kafka’s tub, she tends to use the same order of expensive-looking products that she favors.  

The treatment you’re currently giving him is not routine.  

The ends of your sleeves dip into the water as you stretch over the tub, toward his legs. Your tongue peaks out from your lips, bitten in concentration. (It’s cute.) Blade feels... compelled to assist you. He raises his leg up at the knee. Just as carefully, you scrub him down, and then focus on his other leg.  

The experience fills him with a sense of unease.  

(It’s too tender.) 

(You treat him too delicately. Even Kafka acknowledges the damage he carries, and her touch is only gentle to punctuate a roughness later on. She toys with him— it’s a farce. The way you touch him is too kind. You are too kind for him. It reminds him— makes him feel the ghost of a touch from hands more delicate and powerful than your own. From a different lifetime, blotted by Mara, corrupted and molten in his mind—) 

“Blade—?” Your voice is shaking, shattering. You’re frozen at the side of the tub.  

Blade blinks. 

He has his hand wrapped around your wrist; his grip swallowing the fragile limb. The force of it is bruising. He holds it under the water, forcing you to lean over the tub. You are submerged up to your elbow. Your expression is pinched, afraid. Your pupils pinpricked.  

An animal snared. 

His grip tightens.  

“Let go, please.” You ask, lip wobbling.  

He does not want to let go. He really does not want to let go. Blade cannot trace the feeling, it’s miasmatic. It was a bad idea to have you assist in bathing him. Mara webs itself behind his eyes. His jaw locks and breathes hard through his nose. He wants to sink his teeth into your throat. 

“Please, stop,” You whine— whimper while tugging against his hold. You are half bent over the bath. Your eyes water, all shiny.  

The tone does something to him. Many people plead around him— for their life, mercy, favor. It’s useless. He does not care. He has no reason to care. There are scripts to follow. However— there’s no script here. Just the warm suds, the blood pumping through your veins, and Blade’s tunneling vision. 

With a sharp pull, he drags you into the bath. 

You fall in headfirst. Instantly, you clamor at the side of the tub and his submerged legs to get yourself back above water. You scramble. It’s— cute. Your hair is slicked down around your face and forehead, eyes wide as you pant. His legs bracket your body. He tightens his thighs around you.  

Your thin clothes are soaked and cling to you. Fabric over curves and folds over your flesh. Blade’s half-hard and feels bad about it. 

(He can’t trace why. It’s far from the first time he’s been physically aroused in relation to you. It always makes him feel bad. Not with Mara, but something personal and sour and less mad. He hates it. He’s almost torn out a rib over the feeling.) 

You hover, frozen, between his legs. The only sounds in the bathroom are your panting breaths and the drips rolling off your body, into the bathwater. You swallow, trembling, but remaining otherwise unmoving. It occurs to Blade after a few tense moments that you are waiting for him to strike.  

Always like a little, frightened animal.  

(Something in him writhes.) 

He moves quickly, shooting a hand out to fist into your hair. His grip is unyielding, giving you no slack (though, he doesn’t yank and pull as he could. He could tear out chunks if he wanted. He just doesn’t want you to move.) He wants you closer— maybe. He wants you far away, thrown through one of the ship's thick windows and into the vacuum of space and dead. 

(Though, it wouldn’t be as satisfying for the void of space to kill you. He’d rather do it. He wants to do it, if you’re going to die.) 

You whine and paw at his wrists, babbling something.  

Blade feels disgusting as he drags your body to his, his chest to your back, and he curls over your form. His arms wind around your waist and squeeze. You scratch at him, beg maybe— he can’t tell, his ears are ringing. Your fists that slam into his shoulders and skull feel like swats from a declawed kitten. He doesn’t budge despite your protests.  

You stop fighting when you realize he isn’t hurting you. 

Blade doesn’t... want to hurt you. He thinks. Not really. Not in the way that Mara is screaming at him to. He isn’t content, you’re too warm and too alive to be this close to his body, but it's not bad. Contact both scratches an itch under his skin and aggravates a wound. It’s like a bath with Kafka, but worse— 

(Because part of him wants this.) 

Blade flinches when you go slack against him, chest heaving out breath. Even this little ‘scrap’ has tired you out. You’ve become weakened in your confined state— even if you really wanted to fight him, you don’t have the physical strength to be able to. 

You sniffle, covered in soaked clothes and soap suds. 

“Don’t cry.” Blade says without thinking. His voice is shot, dead-pan.  

Trembling, you shake your head, “I w-won’t.” 

It’s a lie. You’re already shaking in his arms. 

It’s— unfair. You’re most used to him, and less wary of him than Kafka. Part of him, a loud but small part of his mind, thinks that a bath together could be enjoyable— if he wasn’t washing blood and filth from his hair, and you weren’t shivering in your soaked day clothes. 

(‘This could be nice’, it urges.)  

His hands rub over your sides in small circles at the idea. 

You gasp and squirm, looking back at him with wild eyes, “Blade, please—” 

He stops, but his hold around your waist doesn’t waver. You sigh and lean back into his chest, deflating. Your eyes go half-lidded as you look toward the ceiling. They look— dull. Light and life drained. Like how they did when he and Kafka first collected you from that gilded planet. 

Blade knows that look— a dull mind and an active body. Your breath is still a bit too fast. Your heart is the same, running a prey-like rhythm. He assumes that you have left your body, gone elsewhere. 

“Hey.” He shakes you lightly, dragging you back to the cooling bath. “Help with my hair.” 

“... Hair?” You ask, voice soft and dreamy. “... Do you need me to wash it?” 

“Yes.” 

“... Okay.” You nod after a moment and rotate in his lap.  

Your shoulders sag forward as you fumble for shampoo and squirt a generous amount into your palm. Half of it misses and the gel sinks into the bathwater below.  

It’s unfair— part of him says again— he wants to tear it out and shred it between his teeth or under his blade. It screams that it's unfair that you dote on a creature like him. It’s unfair that you must shiver while lathering and rinsing his hair. That your pretty lips tremble with fear.  

The Mara writhes. He has not been human in so long. He does not deserve the gentleness you so often give him. Especially now, when he has dragged you closer, made you filthy with the stench of blood, and forced you so close. He wants to bite out your throat as you tip forward to grab a brightly colored bottle of oil and begin to work through the knots in his air. 

You are frowning. You are crying. 

He wants to eat you. 

Blade reaches for your chest, studying the way that the fabric clings to your skin-gone-gooseflesh. He finds the top button of your soft blouse in his own unsteady hands and undoes it. You freeze when he does, breath catching. 

You don’t breathe as he undoes another button.  

Then another. 

And another.  

You don’t breathe until the garment is nearly off. Just one button secures the fabric. He can see the peak of your breasts under the fabric, nipples pebbled in the cold. You’re so cold.  

(Blade wishes, dead Yingxing wishes, that he were warmer.) 

Your hand shoots out and wraps around his wrist, and in a small voice, you beg, “Please, d-don’t.” 

“You’re cold.” Blade says. He reaches past you, sloshing water, to turn on the spigot for hot water. “You will stay cold if you wear wet clothes.” 

You look at him strangely. At first, it’s wounded. Like you’ve been lanced through with Shard Sword, and now bear the gaping wound. It morphs to one of confusion, then you bite your lip. And grab his hands in your own and stare at them. 

“... That’s all?” You ask. 

“Mostly.” Blade replies. There’s— more. Far more. But nothing that is concrete enough, or important enough, to share with you. It would more than likely aggravate his spitting Mara.  

“Okay.” You reply, looking up from your joined hands. Your eyes are round and watery. “You’re not trying to rape me?” 

He freezes.  

The word ‘rape’ pulls something disgusting and festering up from Blade’s guts. Something he wants to purge. He has the distinct urge to lean over the side of the time and vomit, but he hasn’t eaten in the last forty-eight hours, so there’s nothing to heave up. So instead, he is still.  

It’s like he can feel the rot. He’s not sure why. He knows what the word means, he is pretty sure he has been raped. Probably. Either when he was a young child, a refugee fleeing a massacred world, or maybe when he was the bedmate to a dragon. Maybe, probably, from Kafka, any number of times. Maybe last week. His mind is cloudy.  

What constitutes rape is foggy.  

He knows it would mean that he wants to have sex with you, and you wouldn’t want to have sex with him. 

And Blade— 

(He— He— doesn’t want to have sex with you? Or he does. Maybe. He wants to be close to you, inside you. He wants to curl around you and make you swear to never leave. He wants— he wants so much. Blade is selfish. But—) 

Not like that, he doesn’t think. Others have been, he’s sure— he’s sure.  

Mara pours into his mind, and he remembers then. Pieces of times, fragments of old memories, of rape. Of violation of all kinds.  

(At the hands of borisins holding him down as he screamed and cried, his body too little to do any fighting in the jaws of an Abundance beast.) 

(A tradesman who allowed him to stowaway on a cargo ship, destined for the Luofu. ‘Payment’ — the man had called it. For safe passage and a little sack of rice.) 

(Dan Feng, during one of his draconic ruts. He was the Child of a Cosmic Horror, ultimately. That’s all Aeons are, anyways. Yingxing had been split on his cock so many times, so full, he bled for a day, even with Dan Feng fussing over him with his cloudhymns, lucid-in-mind and torn apart by so much guilt for a wildly proud man.) 

(Kafka, a few days after she first picked him up from the surface of the asteroid Jingliu had been beating him into. Kafka, a few weeks after that— in a hotel that stank of blue emory roses. Kafka, a few weeks ago, draped over his shoulders between missions. There’s more. Memories drenched in the smell of her rich perfume. They tangle in feelings of comfort and revulsion.) 

Blade doesn’t want to do any of that to you. 

(He wants something with you— but—) 

(Not like that. He doesn’t want you to hurt.) 

“I’m not going to rape you.” He tells you. He hardly sounds like himself as the Mara quiets. 

He thumbs over your lips. There’s a scar in the middle of them where they had been split, repeatedly, and then healed over. You’d told him once that one of your old keepers used to deprive you of water if he felt like it. Your breath is hot against his fingertip. 

You say nothing, but your breath is still fast and shaky. Your eyes are wide. A feral, wild animal.  

“I’m not.” Blade tries to reassure you. You flinch with the sound of his voice. “You’re freezing. The bath can be refilled with warm water. Bathe.” 

Tears break over your lower lashes as you stare at him. He stares back. 

(He wonders what you’re thinking. If you have as much trouble thinking as he does— you probably do. You’ve sustained head trauma. Traumas. You’re both torn-up wrecks, maybe. It could provide him with some solace.) 

“... Okay.” You rub your eyes with balled up hands and laugh. “Okay.” 

Blade then helps you peel off your shirt. Then your shorts and underwear. When you’re bare, Blade drains most of the water from the, leaving you both with a layer of clinging bubbles protecting the barest bits of your modesty. You cover your chest and center with your hands, keeping your head down. Hiding your throat. 

He refills the tub with more soap— too much probably. Mountains of bubbles appear as he dumps in a glug of shimmering, emerald-colored oil. It swirls into the water as it rises. You relax as it rises over your chest. Your eyelids droop. You look so tired. 

Blade washes you like you did him.  

You face each other as he does. Your gaze never leaves him, though it goes glassy again. Unfocused. Blade can feel your heartbeat through your skin, slowing more and more with each pass of the warm, soapy rag he is using. He massages products into your hair. He thinks that he may be doing so in the correct order. He hopes he is. 

This close, he can see all of you. Most of you. Feel you too. He feels ridges and bumps of scars. Chunks of flesh that have been torn from you, replaced by cicatrix, uneven and unnatural under his touch. You shudder when he touches you, shivering despite the heat of the room. You’re sensitive. He doesn’t want Kafka to know. 

You feel different like this. Blade is unable to place why. 

When he is through with you, steam and bubbles still rising from the bath, you drag him closer. Your fingers dig into his biceps, latching on and scrambling to get closer. 

“... You really mean it, don’t you?” You ask. Your eyes are still unfocused. “You’re not going to? You’re not fucking with me?” 

“... What are you talking about?”  

An unrestrained smile stretches over your face, “You do mean it. You do. You do.” 

Blade can only guess what you mean. You clearly will not (or cannot) tell him. You shiver against a full body thing against him. It makes him uneasy. He flips you by the hips, so that your back is to his chest, and he can curl over your shoulders. He cast a shadow into the water. 

Indulgently, he presses his nose into your cheek. You smell like fresh soap and skin. He thinks if he licked you, you’d taste like salt. 

He doesn’t. 

When that’s all he does, you laugh.  

It’s a belting thing, the kind of sound that’s punched from your gut with the same force that could break ribs. Blade can imagine the sound and sensation of it obliterating your insides as your laughter bounces around the tile of the bathroom. It’s manic. It’s an unwell sound. You clutch a fist over your chest as you howl.  

You don’t stop for a while. 

It’s clearly too much. Blade can feel it. The sound echoes in his chest. It must be shredding yours.  

His arm wraps around your midsection as you do, and he tries to press you closer— he thinks. He thinks it might help. Your breath starts to shake, each inhale pitching high and sharp. You’re hyperventilating around your laughter. You’re hysterical, but don’t fight his hold. Even as tears drip down your cheeks, splattering into the bathwater. 

Blade says your name— it should come out sharply. He means it to. 

However, it is gentle. His voice is hushed and rough. 

“You’re alright.” He squeezes you until the breath is forced from your lungs, and there’s no fuel for your laughter anymore. “You’re okay.” 

With a choked, quiet sob, you reply, “I know.” 

... 

It’s later— much later. Maybe the next day.  

Your room still doesn’t have any way to keep time other than your little tablet, which has been powered off and charges across the room on top of your dresser, so Blade can only guess. 

He lays beside you in bed, propped up on an elbow. You sleep next time to him, relaxed and soft-jawed. The soft duvet is pulled up to your collarbones, and you curl into Blade. He’s— warmer than the rest of your room. Even if he does run too cold to be properly alive.  

He runs the side of his index finger over your face.  

You had been so tired after leaving the bath, you’d hardly been able to dress yourself— you hadn’t been able to. Blade to pick out sleep clothes and help you get into them. He chose whatever he could find that seemed. Soft. 

(A flowing, soft teal top and white shorts with golden thread sewn in the seams.) 

You fell asleep quickly after that and have been ever since. Blade had only meant to sit on the edge of your mattress.  

That did not happen. 

Instead, he’s tucked next to you. One of your hands fists the front of his shirt, and your body is angled toward him. Seeking. Wanting. 

Blade could take. 

He recognizes that. 

It’s a thought, though, not a temptation. Not after the bath. Not after feeling the ways in which your body has been torn apart and so painstakingly put itself back together. You are not a creature of Abundance, you are not built to live forever and to repair yourself endlessly like he is. Your vitality is finite. Every scar your flesh must restitch takes something from you and it will not be replaced.  

You will end. 

Your bedroom door clicks, five times, then opens with a whoosh of air. Kafka stands in the doorframe. A sickly-sweet smile stains her mouth. Her lipstick is the is freshly applied and glossy. 

“I see you got all cleaned up, Bladie,” her voice is silken and smooth. He could drown in it. “Was our little pup helpful?” 

“... Yes.” 

“Good.” Kafka hums. Her heels click against the floor, and she takes a place next to you. Even as the mattress dips, you don’t stir. “You’re so helpful with training them. Good boy.” 

Blade pauses his petting of you to glare and grunt at Kafka. She looks delighted. 

“I wasn’t aware I was assisting with any sort of training.” 

“It’s all implicit. As long as they’re getting comfortable, that’s what counts. Don’t worry your pretty little head about anything else.” 

Blade doesn’t like that answer.  

“I don’t want to see them hurt,” Blade says. 

“That’s sweet of you.” 

“I mean it, Kafka.” 

“I know, I know.” Kafka laughs. She sighs and falls into the bed, over the cushy duvet. She spoons you, flattening herself to your back and winding her arms around your waist. Your brow wrinkles and a little whimper scratches from your throat. “I’d like to see our new puppy kept in one piece too, Bladie. I’ve grown quite fond of them. However, we are both beholden to Destiny. If one of Elio’s scripts—” 

“I know.” Blade snaps. 

He does not want to think about it. 

His hand that had been petting you winds tightly into your hair and your face scrunches up.  

“Listen, Bladie, everything’s alright. You’re okay.” Kafka soothes, dropping a kiss onto your cheek. It leaves a smear. Kafka works Blade’s hand out of your hair. “Be good and keep them company while I give Elio a mission report.” 

“That’s what I have been doing.” 

“Then, keep it up.” 

Kafka rolls out of bed with a sigh, not a hair out of place. She leaves the room almost soundlessly, the door clicking as it relocks. Five times. 

Blade does as Kafka says. He keeps you company, sinking down into the mattress beside you. He wipes away the lipstick left over your cheek and presses a kiss to the spot. He lingers there.  

Kafka can have— a lot of him. But, perhaps, he will covet you, all for himself.  

(If the Mara in his mind had not been suppressed, perhaps he would have heard: 

(FOOL FOOL FOOL! DO YOU NOT REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU COVET AND CLING? DO NOT FORGET YOUR SINS! DO NOT FORGET HIS SINS—!) 

Instead, his mind is quiet. He pulls you closer and sleeps. Space is dead around him, and you are dead to the world in his undying arms. 

Blade thinks he likes when you bathe with him.  

[tarjapearce]

OMFG NOW U HAVE TO WRITE SOMETHING WITH MIGUEL AND READER INTRODUCING BABY BELLA (that’s just a nickname i’d give gabriella if she was my daughter 😭) TO FOOTBALL 😭😭😭😭😭😭

i’m from germany that’s FOOTBAAALLLL

I was watching a kid play after I came home from work and AHHH reminded me of this ask!! (And don't worry, over here in Honduras we call it football too c: ) Hope you like :')

WARNINGS: Fluff, domestic shenanigans ~

There was little changes in your life after Gabriella was born. Domestic life sure had its perks, and with Miguel everything was thrilling, exhausting and tearjerker.

You had moved to your new home. A two floored home that you and Miguel bought to grow in. Gabriel remained in his now single apartment, teasing his older brother to no end once he saw him with one of your aprons as he cooked dinner while you were bathing Gabi.

Chaos was a constant part of your lives, discovering things as new parents sparked things between your relationship with Miguel. Your teamwork had improved significantly, and so your communication.

Even though there were little misunderstandings here and there, Gabi seemed the common ground that you needed to not fall back into the bad habits pre-marriage you had and sometimes slipped away into your new stage of life.

Gabi or Gabibi, a little play word for Habibi, a little nickname you've given her after watching foreign novelas with Miguel, had grown into a wonderful one year old toddler. And today, she'd witness her Papa's first soccer game.

Chubby cheeks, vivacious eyes that followed Miguel everywhere, a bubbly laugh that instantly melt him was always there whenever he showed up.

His princesa, his Solecito was always shining hard on his rainy days or whenever he had a fight with you. But now, she was resting on your lap, looking for him among the other team players after you lathered her skin with sunscreen and put a little hat to avoid any discomfort.

It wasn't hard to miss her dear Papa, not when he yelled like no other to Peter, and was bossy enough to make him the captain.

Gabi's eyes followed Miguel and she'd squeal and blabble overjoyed whenever he dribbled and kicked the ball here and there. She'd make the grabby hands to him and mumble a pa pa while clapping whenever he was close enough.

"Yes, that's Papa"

You smooched her cheeks while she kept her eyes on Miguel. Another loud squeal came after the whistle echoed, announcing the half time.

Miguel approached and she called him with baby and drooly words. A toothless grin came into her face while Miguel loomed over the both. Just like you, her eyes always looked at him with such marvel it made him weak.

You handed him a towel to dry off the sweat. He then kissed your temple and took Gabi in his arms to them shower her chubby and lovely face in kisses, earning him a raucous laugh and squeal while her tiny hands touched his.

"If I get a to score a goal, is for you and Mama, ok?"

"Ma ma"

"She's been cheering for you nonstop."

You chuckled while getting her back to drink some water.

"I heard her over the field"

"Even though my ears have suffered a bit, she loves watching you play."

"Pa pa!"

"Yes, mi princesa?"

Gabi blabbed and clapped, eyes keen and settled on the ball.

"You think she likes it?"

You took her again as Miguel drank from his bottle.

"Wanna find out?"

---

And against all odds, Gabriella had seemed to take a liking in watching Miguel play. Things seemed to take a turn for her when there was game nights in your own home.

Meaning, Miguel, Peter, Jessica's husband and Gabriel would gather up in the living room to yell and watch at the screen, beverages and snacks on the table. Despite the noise, Gabi wanted to be there, next to Miguel.

It was comical and endearing to see her mimic him whenever he was angry. If he yelled, she'd give a presumably angry screech, and if he celebrated, Gabi would clap and burst into a laughing fit.

Miguel had gotten her a little soft ball that she loved kicking, Miguel would enter his narrator mode and build up the tension to then help his daughter score.

He lifted her up in the air and tickled her.

And now, seeing her kick the ball and play in a little league school team, made his chest swell in pride.

His smile widened as he waved back at Gabi, that had greeted him right after scoring her first goal ever. A little cupcake was to celebrate as you recorded while your dear six years old baby girl smeared Miguel's cheek with frosting.

[genericpuff]

With LO being done, a mass layoff apparently happening recently, and high profile creators like that of Bugtopia bailing from them, do you think Webtoons is gonna last much longer?

So I had heard about the layoff through the grapevine (as in, pals that I know who are aware of the situation) but honestly, I don't think this is the end of Webtoons as an app... I think this is definitely an end of a version of Webtoons that we were all familiar with as both creators and readers. I've been noticing this shift over the past couple years and now it seems to be coming to a head, a status quo shift from Webtoons being an earnest "anyone can find success with us" community of readers and indie creators to just another enshittified corporate platform that's only interested in churning out content to keep up its bottom line.

Before I continue, obligatory reminder that I am not an Originals creator, just a former Canvas creator and avid webcomic reader. None of this post is to accuse Webtoons of foul play or spread misinformation, these are simply my opinions based on my own experiences with the app and its staff, research that I've done into Webtoons' practices and history as a company, and firsthand + secondhand accounts of experiences on the backend from various Originals creators who have willingly spoken up on the matter. Take the following dissection and rant about Webtoons with mountains of salt.

The biggest sign of this shift I've seen has definitely gotta be the reduction of greenlit Canvas series in favor of imported Korean series. Now I will say there was a time that there genuinely were too many greenlit series, back when they used to do their launch weeks, and I think scaling that back isn't necessarily a bad thing to prevent oversaturation, but oversaturation is still very much happening, it's just through imported series now.

Though I will say a counter argument to this is that Webtoons' own audience has a habit of believing that EVERY piece of work needs to be read and kept up with. This is surely a side effect of Webtoons going from being a smaller platform with only a few select Originals series to suddenly launching hundreds more over the course of the last couple years, there WAS a time you could genuinely keep up with most of the series on the platform if you wanted, but now that's no longer possible, and while some would argue that's a flaw, I'd argue that greenlighting so many series isn't necessarily an invitation for you to read them all, it's just to buff up their library with more choices for those who are more particular about what they read. Do you enjoy isekai but don't like the one about the girl being reborn into her favorite medieval romance book? Well there are 50 other isekais set in medieval times for you to choose from.

That said, the ratio of greenlit Canvas series : Korean imports definitely feels like it's skewed more towards the latter over the past couple years, as we're now seeing them simply opt to import and translate series from their Naver platform. Some people don't really care or notice the difference, and there's certainly lots to be said about the popularity of many Korean works, but many other readers are now feeling iced out by the platform's sudden shift in art styles and storytelling tropes because Korean webtoons and manwhas do generally aim for a different audience than what a lot of veteran Webtoon users are used to. Plus from the creator side of things, it's undoubtedly making the playing grounds feel uneven where greenlit Canvas series now have to compete with the webtoons from overseas that are made in studios with teams of people and seem to also be paid far better than what NA creators are being paid. Webtoons already severely limits what series they choose to advertise and that's only gotten worse over the years with the ongoing oversaturation of the app's library.

That's only regarding quantity though, as there's surely lots to be said about how a lot of the higher quality stories are ones here made in North America, and a lot of that I feel has to do with the benefit of them being comics written in English by people who natively speak English. Unlike Korean manwha/webtoons, they don't have to go through the process of translation and localization which can unfortunately cause an otherwise well written manwha to lose its subtleties and specific writing choices due to rushed or poor translating (people who read scanlations of manga and manwha or who even just watch dubbed vs. subbed anime can certainly attest to this.)

With all that in mind, my own personal theory (*again, this is my opinion and tinfoil hat suspicions, not fact) is that Webtoons/Naver has essentially been outsourcing to North America to build up their app through titles like Lore Olympus, and now that that audience has been built, they seem to be bringing in their Korean series to benefit off that audience while reducing the amount of NA Canvas series they greenlight, particularly their most popular genres like Romance, Fantasy, and Action. How much they'll benefit, I can't say for certain, considering this is a company that has been operating in the red for years and IIRC they even practically admit to this in their IPO proposal (it's actually really funny to read if you're familiar with legal jargon and Webtoons as a company)

Fact of the matter though is that despite Webtoons building up that audience through legacy NA titles, they seem to have forgotten one fundamental thing - most of the people in that audience just don't seem to be interested in the content they're now trying to sell. Credit where credit is due, the aggressive marketing campaign surrounding Lore Olympus for the last 5 years did a great job at pulling in new people to the app, many of whom never read webtoons before. In all its flaws, Lore Olympus is very beginner friendly for people who are new to Webtoons, with guilty pleasure romance writing that a lot of NA readers enjoy nowadays and an art style that was very unique at the time.

But out of all those people who were attracted to the app through series like LO, how many do you think are reading Korean manwha? I don't have the numbers to back up this argument 🧂🧂🧂 but I personally doubt it's very many if all the complaints about Webtoons becoming 'samey' over the years is anything to go off of (right alongside the complaints of LO being marketed way too much lmao)

So no, I don't think Webtoons as a company is going anywhere. They've made it this long operating at a loss, mostly in part to their parent company Naver injecting them with funds (and for anyone unaware, Naver is essentially the Google of Korea, they're a massive tech company that owns Webtoons as a separate venture, not too different from Google owning Youtube in a sense) and now they're turning to public funding.

I do think Webtoons as we know it is dying and changing, for better and for worse however you may define it, and regardless of which way it goes, it's going to come with the consequential shift in both audience and creators that such a transformation brings. I was there when it happened to Tapas, I was there when it happened to DeviantArt, and now we're seeing it in real time with Webtoons all over again. Whether or not they rise from the ashes reborn anew or simply fester like a dying animal, that remains to be seen, but considering this is the same company that's currently exploiting and underpaying creators to keep their bottom line afloat, developing AI tools, and running an app that's held together with staples and glue and doesn't even have tagging implemented, I'm not holding my breath for the best case scenario. The company and its app may live on but the Webtoons that we knew for years is long gone and may never return again.

And that's my many cents on that.

[catmask]

Been meaning to catch more of your streams because they're so fun and relaxing and inspire me to do art alongside you! but I have a question?? How on earth have you managed to keep a streaming schedule? (kudos!!!!) I've tried it a few times and after about a month of consistency I get so tired and drop off of it, do you get guilt about rescheduling? (saw some announcement from the other day and it was so communicative and professional) and, how do you measure your own levels of energy to know how long you can stream for? Some people are just Built Different but I don't hear it often talked about how being social like that can drain people, especially when popular streamers in this era are usually streaming all day every single day of the week! Honestly love your work and everything you do, from what you share we seem to have a lot of similar tastes and experiences so I was just curious if this was something you encountered, and if so would love to hear any routines or strategies you have, if you're comfortable doing so! :3

for one thing, this isnt my first time around the bend! i used to stream about four years ago to a much smaller audience, and i feel like that gave me a lot of experience that was useful now as a streamer. i was also still in college/working full time then, so it sort of gave me the like... 'if i stop now im going to sink and die like a shark' mentality about a LOT of my hobbies. art and streaming both.

i do fully understand the feeling of burnout, and with anything you do its important to develop a gage as to how tired you are to determine whether or not you need to reschedule. killling your momentum of doing something can often result in dropping the habit altogether, but at the same time you are a human being with needs so theres gonna be some days you have to just call it off.

my internal 'system' for sickdays/delays is 'if i cant fix the problem in an hour, its a sick day, and if i can its a delay. if i can fix the problem in ten minutes and im avoiding it, then i need to remember im gonna have a lot of fun after its fixed and get up off my ass'

sometimes that 'problem' was as simple as 'i got yelled at at work today and idk if i can handle being smiley and funny for people when i feel like shit', but reminding myself that i always felt better after i streamed was often enough to pull me out of that. if the problem was i was tired/felt like shit, id take a delay and prepare a dinner, shower, and sit down for a bit. then id generally feel okay enough and streaming was no problem!

its easy to beat yourself up for not maintaining a consistent schedule fr streaming when you start out, but the thing you should really be asking yourself is - did you take care of yourself, the streamer, so that consistency was possible? good food, good sleep, and alone time to relax are imperative to any public facing activity, especially something like streaming!

[kmackatie]

I rise from the ashes because we got shadowgast content and this is super rough but is part of a longer thing I'm working on

In familiar practised motions, Essek draws his hands together and then apart, drawing energy between them ready to catch his words. “Caleb, I have activated the Tower. Your company would be welcome, we should talk. I have information both expected and not,” says Essek, voice soft in the room. There are no watchers, he confirmed that earlier, but years of habit are hard to break. He’s aware there are but a few words left of his allowance and can feel the thrum of it still waiting. And then, he adds, “You are missed, Liebling.” He releases the magic and feels it hover for a moment, and then it’s gone, snaking its way across the miles to the intended recipient. At least this time he is sure it will arrive, with the communications being restored and working again. He still feels lingering unease at all those weeks when messages fizzled out, when scrying failed to find its target, when he could only be sure of what was in front of him and what he could find with his own two feed. While he waits for the response—staying for now, on this plane (there is no need to test the stability of sending right now)—he pulls silver thread from his component pouch and dutifully threads it around the room. He doubts the Hells will disturb him, but he would still like to be warned about it. As he ties it off and sets the ward, he feels the swirl of dunamis a moment before it hits the back of his throat and Caleb’s voice enters his mind. I am relieved to hear from you. I… may take a little while until I can get away but I will be there. Don’t wait up. Essek chuckles at the last words and can imagine the look on Caleb’s face as he says them. It’s an old refrain between them, one born of habit and familiarity across many late nights and moments where one waits for the other, despite the fact Essek does not sleep and Caleb sleeps too much at tables and on couches.

[kleopatra45]

Stelliums in the Houses [Solar Return]

Aries

A stellium in Aries in your solar return chart brings an intense focus on action, independence, and new beginnings. This year, you’ll feel driven to assert yourself and take the lead in various aspects of life. Expect sudden bursts of energy and a desire to break free from anything holding you back. Your confidence and courage will be heightened, making it a powerful year for starting new ventures.

Taurus

With a Taurus stellium, the year is about stability, comfort, and building lasting foundations. You’ll find yourself drawn to material security and pleasures, with a strong focus on finances and personal values. This year encourages patience and persistence as you work toward your goals. Your appreciation for beauty and the finer things in life will be magnified, making it a great time to invest in what truly brings you joy.

Gemini

A Gemini stellium highlights communication, learning, and social connections. This year, expect an increase in mental activity and curiosity. You’ll be more inclined to explore new ideas, engage in conversations, and adapt to changes. Networking will be a significant theme, and your ability to multitask will be at its peak. It’s a year to embrace variety and stay open to new experiences.

Cancer

With a Cancer stellium, the focus shifts to home, family, and emotional security. This year, you’ll feel a strong pull toward nurturing relationships and creating a safe, comforting environment. Your intuition and sensitivity will be heightened, making it a year of deep emotional connections and self-care. Themes of protection and caregiving will dominate, and you may find yourself more attuned to the needs of others.

Leo

A Leo stellium brings a year of self-expression, creativity, and recognition. You’ll feel a heightened desire to shine and be seen, whether through creative projects, leadership roles, or personal achievements. This is a time to embrace your individuality and take pride in your accomplishments. Your charisma will be amplified, making it a year where you can inspire others and leave a lasting impression.

Virgo

With a Virgo stellium, the focus is on health, work, and service. This year, you’ll be driven to organize, analyze, and improve various areas of your life. Attention to detail will be key, and you may find yourself refining your routines and habits. This is a year for practical achievements and helping others, as your sense of duty and responsibility will be at the forefront.

Libra

A Libra stellium emphasizes relationships, harmony, and balance. This year, partnerships and collaborations will take center stage. You’ll be more focused on creating peace and finding common ground in your interactions. Aesthetic sensibilities will be heightened, making it a great time for artistic pursuits and beautifying your surroundings. The year encourages diplomacy and fairness in all your dealings.

Scorpio

With a Scorpio stellium, the year is marked by transformation, intensity, and deep emotional experiences. You’ll be drawn to uncover hidden truths and delve into the mysteries of life. This is a time for profound inner change and personal growth, often triggered by intense relationships or situations. Your resilience and determination will be tested, but they will also lead to significant breakthroughs.

Sagittarius

A Sagittarius stellium brings a year of exploration, learning, and expansion. You’ll feel a strong urge to seek out new experiences, whether through travel, education, or philosophical pursuits. This year is about broadening your horizons and embracing the unknown. Optimism and a sense of adventure will guide you, making it a time for growth and discovering new perspectives.

Capricorn

With a Capricorn stellium, the focus is on ambition, responsibility, and long-term goals. This year, you’ll be more disciplined and determined to achieve your objectives. Professional success and reputation will be significant themes, as you work diligently to build a solid foundation for the future. Patience and perseverance will be key, as you navigate challenges with a strategic mindset.

Aquarius

An Aquarius stellium emphasizes innovation, individuality, and social change. This year, you’ll be more inclined to think outside the box and challenge the status quo. Your focus will be on community, technology, and future-oriented goals. This is a time to embrace your uniqueness and contribute to causes that align with your values. Expect breakthroughs and a desire to connect with like-minded individuals.

Pisces

With a Pisces stellium, the year is about spirituality, creativity, and compassion. You’ll feel a strong connection to your intuition and the mystical side of life. This is a time for healing, artistic expression, and helping others. Your empathy and sensitivity will be heightened, making it a year of deep emotional and spiritual experiences. It’s a time to go with the flow and trust in the universe’s guidance.

I hope this helps! ♥️

©️kleopatra45

[aloneinthehellfire]

The Introduction

A (possible) brand new series featuring Robin Buckley x Reader set in ST4

Summary: When Vecna comes to town, Robin and her friends need all the help they can get in the final battle. The gang searches for an old friend she's never met before. But what Robin didn't know, was that the help would catch her attention in more ways than one.

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: canon deaths (mentions of vecna killings), reader appears at the end it is mostly a set up for the series, nothing really to report here tbh

[A/N: well hello there. I have *finally* storyboarded a new series that would be an episode by episode ST4 fic where Reader and Robin are endgame. It's something new and something I've been dying to create for a while now so I wanted to test the waters and see if anyone would be interested in reading this? I will literally take one person's yes and go with it, I am very persuadable]

The Introduction

Since when was it too much to ask for a normal spring break?

Robin had enough of the excitement in Hawkins last summer when she ended up in a secret Russian lab, tortured and shot full of some serum she was sure was unsanctioned.

The horrors of that day were flushed down that bathroom toilet along with those drugs, some kind of wave of reality hitting her hard when she realised she didn’t want to be alone anymore. She confided in her new friend, her closest friend, and hoped that it would end a horrible day with a weight off her shoulders.

And then she was crashing a car into a possessed guy and hurling fireworks at some freaky flesh monster. So, nothing good lasts forever.

But after that, it all had been pretty quiet. Robin worked Family Video every other evening and weekends, had Steve drive her to school for the first couple of weeks before it became a habit, secured her place in band and forgot that anything ever really happened. She didn’t want to remember. She wanted to graduate, to have that silly little crush on her bandmate, to save enough money to get out of Hawkins for good.

Then the first day of spring break hit. The first day. And she was stood there staring up at that TV, feeling nauseas in her uniform, knowing that the brutal death of a high school student wouldn’t be as simple as murder.

“So we got, uh, some good news and some bad news.” Dustin says awkwardly and Robin’s lips tighten, looking at where Eddie sat munching through Honeycomb cereal like it was his first meal in days. “How do you prefer it?”

“Bad news first, always.” Eddie responds with his mouth full.

Robin shifts on her feet. It would be dishonest to say that Dustin and Max dragged her into this. All they had done really was show up demanding their computers and a name. She didn’t have to help, or find the address, or go with them anywhere.

The urge to be a part of something always had been a habit of hers. The only reason she joined the marching band was because she figured she’d be safe there. The Russian radio communication was only of interest because she craved involvement. And now she had Steve, her best friend. Where he went, she followed. Which is why she was stood here now, contemplating her decisions.

She was scared, afraid that last year would have only been the baby of all problems she would have to face in Hawkins. And it was understandable, she wasn’t built for pressure situations. If anyone could take a look inside her brain, they’d be questioning why she was even here in the first place.

She has this theory where her mind and her body act completely differently. She’ll rethink everything until she’s overthinking it, but her body will never not react immediately. Whether its her mouth rambling or her legs running, her mind and body haven’t been in sync for a while now.

“Alright, bad news.” Dustin shifts in his seat and Robin exchanges a wary look with Steve. “We tapped into the Hawkins PD dispatch with our Cerebro, and they’re definitely looking for you.”

Eddie’s face falls and Robin hates seeing the way the light in his eyes dim even darker.

“Also, they’re, uh, pretty convinced you killed Chrissy.”

“Like, 100% kind of convinced.” Max chimes in.

“And the good news?” Eddie looks for Dustin’s answer but Robin spoke first.

“Your name hasn’t gone public yet.” She says, resting her arm against a shelf. She really felt for him. He didn’t deserve this. “But if we found out about you, it’s a matter of time before others do, too. And once that gets out, everyone and their shallow-minded mother is gonna be gunning for you.”

“Hunt the freak, right?” Eddie spits and Robin feels that little stab in her chest. Hunt the freak.

“Exactly.” She says and Eddie curses under his breath.

“So, before that happens, we need to find Vecna, kill him, and prove your innocence.” Dustin tries to bring a positive note, Eddie’s face remaining unswayed.

“That’s all, Dustin? That’s all?”

“Yeah, no, that’s pretty much it.” He concludes, the older boy looking very unconvinced. Robin can’t help but think that Dustin almost was as bad as she was in these situations.

“Listen, Eddie, I know everything Dustin is saying sounds totally delusional, but we’ve actually been through this kind of thing before. I mean, they have... a -a few times, and- and I have… once.” Robin adds, hoping that somewhere in her ramble there was a coherent message that he shouldn’t be afraid. “Mine was more human-flesh-based, and theirs was more smoke-related, but bottom line is, collectively, I really feel like we got this.”

“Yeah, see, we usually rely on this girl who has super powers.” Steve follows her direction and Robin nods, “But, uh, those went bye-bye, so…”

Everyone’s faces start to scrunch in realisation.

Robin searches for words. “So, we’re technically in- in more of the…”

“Kinda…”

“Brainstorming phase.” Max decides and they all hum in agreement.

“Brainstorming.” Steve snaps his fingers.

“There… there’s nothing to worry about.” Dustin splutters and Steve nods along with him.

If Eddie had been following on at all before, he was completely lost now, looking at them like they were maniacs. They tried their best, Robin thought just as a high-pitched noise started approaching in the distance. Sirens.

“Tarp.” Robin immediately says, pointing to Eddie. “Tarp. Tarp.”

Everyone starts scrambling to their feet and rushing to the windows, Robin’s heart rate unusually high. She hadn’t even experienced what she would assume to be the worst of it yet and she was already hating every second.

Her eyes follow the police cars and the ambulances drive directly past the boathouse, further down the road. Towards the trailer park.

“Trailer park.” Steve mutters, on the same page as her.

“They might have found something new.” Max suggests, looking at her friends in worry.

“Or someone new.” Robin grimaces and they all frown. “The ambulance.”

“Shit, okay, we need to-” Steve turns around, “Hey, Eddie.”

The tarp comes flying off once again, his hair looking a little dishevelled as he still tightly hugged the cereal box.

“You gonna be alright here?” He asks, and the boy simply shrugs.

“We’ll be back when we find out more.” Dustin promises, nodding. “With food.”

Either he didn’t mind or was too freaked out to argue, but Eddie remained impartial on their decision. It was a matter of time before they’re all clambering into Steve’s car, following the same route the police had taken earlier.

“What if the place is completely cornered off and we can’t see anything?” Robin voices her worry, Dustin’s eyes flickering to hers in the rear view mirror.

“It’s too early for that. Plus Max lives there, we can just say we’re dropping her off.”

The girl in question nods her head, her bottom lip stuck between her teeth.

“Doesn’t look like we need to worry about that.” Steve says and everyone’s heads turn to look ahead, focusing on a familiar girl stood among the cops, looking like she wanted to be anywhere else.

Once the car stops, their doors are opened and they all stand, patiently waiting. Even from a distance, Robin could see Nancy’s face light up with gratitude that she wasn’t alone.

Just as Nancy makes an excuse to walk over, Robin’s eyes are already scanning the place, actively ignoring the sheet covering something on the ground. There was this pit in her stomach, an unsettling mix of regret and panic. Whatever they were dealing with this time, she knew it was going to take more than an array of fireworks.

They were alone now, any help shipped away to California, and she was still barely caught up with their previous battles.

Robin really didn’t remember life before sitting around a picnic bench discussing freaky incidents that always seemed to link back to the Upside Down. Maybe that day in the lab had ruined her brain chemistry in a way that reduced her life before as meaningless. Or maybe her life before just wasn’t any better. Either way, a police report of a dead student wasn’t normally followed by a theory of some weird mind wizard from an alternate dimension. Then again, anything was possible in Hawkins.

“So you’re saying that this thing that killed Fred and Chrissy, it’s from the Upside Down?” Nancy asks, but it wasn’t the same scepticism Eddie had.

“If the shoe fits.” Steve raises his brow with a sigh.

“Our working theory is that he attacks with a spell, or... a curse.” Dustin says, “Now, whether or not he’s doing the bidding of the Mind Flayer or just loves killing teens, we don’t know.”

“All we know is this is something different.” Max frowns. “Something new.”

“Doesn’t make sense.” Nancy mutters beside her, looking down.

“It’s only a theory.” Dustin defends but Nancy shakes her head.

“No, Fred and Chrissy don’t make sense. I mean… why them?”

Dustin shrugs. “Maybe they were just in the wrong place? They were both at the game.”

“And near the trailer park.” Max cuts in.

“We’re at the trailer park.” Steve comments, looking around. “Uh… should we maybe not be here?”

A shiver rolls down Robin’s neck as she peers around, the wind picking up at the worst moment. It was eerie here, even without the knowledge of two murdered kids.

“There is something about this place.” Nancy shares, “Fred started acting weird the second we got here.”

Robin’s heart jumps. “Acting weird as in…?”

“Scared, on edge, upset.” Nancy explains, her brows permanently scrunched together.

“Max said Chrissy was upset too.” Dustin looks at her.

“Yeah, but not here.” She frowns. “She was crying in the bathroom at school.”

Robin’s mind began flittering around with theories, nonsensical ones for the most part until she pulled out something that felt comprehensible to their case.

“Serial killers stalk their prey before they strike, right?” Robin begins, forcing herself to reduce the speed of her words to ensure they were properly heard. “So, maybe Fred and Chrissy saw this Vecman.”

“Vecna.” Dustin corrects and she represses the urge to roll her eyes.

“I dunno about you guys, but if I saw some freaky wizard monster, I would mention it to someone.” Steve expresses.

“Maybe they did.” Max theorises, “I saw Chrissy leaving Ms Kelley’s office. If you saw a monster, you… you wouldn’t go to the police. They’d never believe you. But you might go to your-”

“Your shrink.” Robin finishes and the younger girl nods. “They keep files, right? Maybe something in Chrissy’s file will point us in the right direction of who, uh… Vecna is.”

“It’s worth a shot.” Max says and Dustin nods.

“But how are we meant to get it?” Steve frowns, “It’s the counsellor's office, wouldn’t they be locking that thing up tight? The whole school, even.”

“I can get the key.” Max says with confidence, “Ms Kelley said I could come to her house out of hours if I need it, maybe I can find where she keeps her keys and sneak out before she realises.”

Rather than question her alibi, it seemed like everyone was in agreement. They were off that bench in a second flat and following Steve to his car. Robin was trying to push away that fear of the unknown, the anxiety that they would find an answer they wouldn’t like.

She always loved puzzles, brain teasers, classic crosswords. Solving that Russian broadcast was a riddle she enjoyed, assuming it would be nothing but a small summer project to cure her boredom of the ice cream slinging world. But beyond games and word scrambles, she felt completely useless.

“Woah, woah, Nance.”

Robin snaps out of her haze to turn back around, her hand still steady on the passenger door.

“Nance!” Steve calls out and Nancy guiltily turns around from where she was straying from the group. “Nance, where you going?”

“Oh, there’s just something I wanna check on first.” She dismisses, her footsteps still leading her back to her own car. She looked like a woman on a mission.

“Something you maybe wanna share with the rest of us?” Dustin says and Nancy scrunches her face.

“I don’t wanna waste your time, it’s a real shot in the dark.”

“Yeah, okay. Are you out of your mind?” Steve expresses and Robin’s eyebrow raises. “Flying solo with this Vecna creep on the loose? No, it’s too dangerous. You need… you need someone to…”

There’s a pause and Robin’s mind is already drifting when keys are suddenly being hurled at her, only catching them in the last second.

“Here. I’ll stick with Nance, alright? You guys take the car, check out the shrink.” Steve says and she blinks at the metal in her palm.

“I don’t think you want me driving your car.” She points at it.

“Why?”

“I don’t have a license.”

“Why don’t you have a license?”

“I’m poor.”

“I can drive.” Max suggests and Steve is quick to protest.

“No, no, never again. Please. Anybody but you, no.” His eyes drift to Dustin’s smile. “No chance.”

“Look, if it helps, I’m not gonna be alone for very long, okay?” Nancy interjects with a smile. “I… I need to call in a favour.”

“Call in a favour?” Steve frowns, “Who?”

Nancy purses her lips and looks down, shrugging. Robin notices Steve’s stance shifting into one she had labelled ‘the annoyed babysitter’; hands on hips, a slight furrow in the brows and a pouty lip. She had to refrain from pointing it out as she had done many times before, usually resulting in a random object thrown at her head.

“Y/n.” Nancy eventually says and Steve groans.

“No, come on. Literally anyone else.” He protests, shoulders dropping in defeat.

“What’s wrong with Y/n?” Dustin frowns, shaking his head.

“She’s just…” Steve sighs, not bothering to finish the sentence. Robin mouths your name, no familiar face ringing a bell.

“Whatever she is, she’s saved our asses on multiple occasions.” Max spoke up, Dustin nodding in agreement.

“It’s…” Steve starts, shaking his head. “She’s not even in town, is she?”

“She’s visiting her grandparents.” Nancy shrugs. “Look, we don’t have time to argue about it, I’m heading to the library.”

“And what if you don’t make it there, huh?” Steve objects, “What if Y/n is busy? Do we really want to drag another person into this?”

“We need all the help we can get.” Nancy says.

“Do we really want to drag Y/n into this?” He rephrases and Robin watches Nancy’s eyes dart away. Whoever you were, you were a sore subject it seemed. But they didn’t have time to be arguing about this.

“All right, okay. This is stupid.” Robin finally breaks, snagging the exposed radio from Dustin’s backpack and thrusting Steve’s keys back at him. “Us ladies will stick together. Unless you think we need you to protect us.”

Steve pulls a face at her and she laughs, already walking away.

“Be careful!” He shouts after her and she throws up a peace sign.

In all honesty, she was relieved to be heading to a library instead of sitting around in a silent car with her own thoughts. Anything but that.

“So, um… who’s Y/n?” Robin queries as Nancy starts up the car.

“An old friend.” She explains briefly, waiting until the others had driven off before following them out.

“She wasn’t at Starcourt, right?” Robin frowns, repeating your name in her head over and over.

“Uh, no. I don’t think you would’ve met her. She was with me and Jonathan, at the hospital, and…” Her voice trailed off, lips tightening.

“And?” Robin prompts but Nancy simply shakes her head with a smile.

“It doesn’t matter.”

As she looked over, she could just read a hint of guilt on her expression, a hard stare on the road ahead as she turns towards the public library. Robin wasn’t always the greatest at reading social cues, only when she was rambling and paying more attention on getting her thoughts out than how people were receiving them. There was something different about the way they were talking about you, however, like there was something unspoken.

The first thing Nancy did was find a phone.

Robin could just make out Nancy’s expressions in the payphone as she stood waiting by the car, her brows scrunched and mouth constantly moving. When she finally hung up, she wrapped her arms around herself and headed back to the Robin, nodding.

“She’s meeting us in a few minutes.” She explained, and Robin figured she didn’t want to talk about it any further. So, as she made a turn to the library, Robin decided on a different bugging query.

“Okay so, help me get this straight.” She starts as they climb the steps, the bell tolling above the building. She was recalling Nancy’s brief summary on the drive over. “Eddie’s uncle, Wayne, thinks that Victor Creel escaped from Pennhurst Asylum and that he’s the one running around Hawkins committing all these murders?”

“Pretty much.” Nancy responds with a tight-lipped smile. Robin wasn’t finished.

“But Victor committed the eyeball murders, like, way back in the ‘50s.” Robin frowns and Nancy pulls open the door.

“Well, ‘59.” She says.

“So, that means these murders predate Eleven in the Upside Down by about 30 years?” She continued as they walk up to the librarian’s desk.

“Yeah.” Nancy responds bluntly.

“Which makes spooky Victor Creel like 70 years old.”

“Yep.” She reaches out and dings the bell.

“So…” Robin keeps talking, occupying her brain with this theory so she didn’t have to worry about anything else. “He’s a grandpa murderer who can turn invisible and lift people into the air.”

Nancy takes a breath. “It doesn’t make sense. I know. That’s why I said it was a shot in the dark.”

She rings the bell again and, once again, Robin doesn’t catch the hint Nancy’s throwing her way.

“I know. I just thought that by ‘shot in the dark’ you were being modest or hiding something super solid up your sleeve that you were gonna wow us with later.”

Nancy rings the bell twice this time but Robin barely registers it.

“But this is really, truly a shot in the dark. Like, we are snipers with blindfolds on who’ve been spun around 50 times.”

She starts ringing the bell rapidly and Robin looks down at it with a frown, finally realising she’s yet again talked too much.

“Coming!” The librarian calls out, carrying a stack of books.

“Hi, sorry, we’re in a bit of a rush.” Nancy smiles apologetically at her, “Could we get the keys to the basement archives?”

“Of course. Give me one sec.” The woman nods, turning away.

Robin stares down at her hands before the anxiety takes over.

“Did I come off mean or condescending or something?” She blurts and Nancy hesitates.

“No.”

“Right.” Robin sighs, still staring at her, “Sorry. It’s just, you seem annoyed. You don’t know me very well. I don’t really have a filter or a strong grasp of social cues.”

“Okay.” Nancy whispers.

“So if I say something that upsets you, just know that I know it’s a flaw. Believe me, my mother reminds me daily.”

Nancy nods quickly, pretending to be interested. “Got it.”

“Alright, ladies.” The librarian returns with a smile, holding out a set of keys. “Here you go. Have fun.”

“Yep.” Nancy accepts them, forcing a smile. “We’ll… try.”

She starts walking away while Robin remains there frozen, earning a grin from the woman opposite. Robin simply shrugs and begrudgingly follows Nancy.

The archive room was… dusty. A little too dusty to Robin’s liking. Everything was old and smelt weird. Nancy starting looking over some books, inspecting the covers before spotting the Microfilm Readers.

“We should probably get a start while we wait for Y/n.” Nancy says, sitting at the machine and Robin hesitantly leans against it, pursing her lips. Nancy notices and looks up at her, already anticipating another ramble. “Yes?”

“So… Y/n?” Robin holds out her hands, “I don’t want to keep being nosy but, uh… how does she fit into all of this?”

Nancy reluctantly turns towards her with a smile. “She’s been a part of our, uh, group for a while now. Since Will was possessed.”

Robin blinks. “Right.”

“She was the one who figured out heat was their weakness – the things that live in the Upside Down. I’ve known her since we were kids and she’s always been amazing at…” Nancy searches for a term, “Detective stuff.”

“Detective stuff, right.” Robin nods and Nancy slowly turns back to what she was doing. “So, like…”

Nancy sighs and Robin shuts her mouth.

“Sorry, I’ll shut up.” She raises her hands in surrender and Nancy scrunches her face.

“No, I’m sorry. It’s just… I haven’t seen her in a while so I… I’m not trying to be rude, there’s just a lot going on.” She explains apologetically, surrendering her attempt at scrolling through the machine. “I can’t believe I’m dragging her into this.”

“Why are you?” Robin asks genuinely and Nancy tilts her head in contemplation.

“She did a project a few years back on the Creels.” Nancy begins, resting her chin on her hand. “She was researching into small town murders. Y/n was obsessed with the unexplained ones. She likes uncovering truths, solving the mystery. I don’t remember how far she got with this but she’ll have more than enough information to get us started.”

“Right, right.” Robin slowly nods, thinking it all over. You weren’t the new addition she assumed you would be. In fact, she was the only one here who was really new to everything.“Should I be here?”

“Sorry?” Nancy frowns.

“I mean, it sounds like you two are pretty close. And I- I don’t want to ruin the reunion or whatever, I don’t even know how to- I suck at meeting new people, basically.” Robin stresses, holding up her hand when Nancy tries to protest, “I already know. Everyone I meet pretty much hates me from the get go. I’m already ruining it with you and we’ve literally met before. Briefly. But still, I- I don’t know this Y/n and I don’t want to annoy her out of helping you-”

“Robin.” Nancy laughs, “It’s fine. Y/n isn’t like that. To be honest… you’ll probably get along.”

“What does that-”

Her words are cut off by the sound of the door opening and slamming shut, the wooden steps creaking beneath the weight of descending footsteps. They both whip their heads to the noise to see someone stood there with a folder in their hands.

“Got here as fast as I could.” You say, letting out a breath and smiling Nancy. You quickly notice the girl standing beside her with a startled look on her face. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“No, you- we were, just- I’m Robin.” She stuttered, her face flushing with embarrassment before she turns away from you. Calm down, she begs herself.

Nancy looks at her in confusion, “Are you-”

“I’m good.” She insists and Nancy shakes her head, getting up from her seat.

“Hi, Y/n.” She smiles, walking over to you. “Thank you for coming.”

“Of course.” You say, but your heart didn’t really feel in it. “I brought the project you wanted. It’s got the newspaper reports from the original killings. If that’s of any help.”

“It is, thank you so much.” Nancy takes it from your hands and starts flipping through, carefully reading each of your headings and findings.

You shift on your feet before glancing at Robin, her eyes widening slightly when you look at her.

“I’m Y/n.” You offer and she nods quickly.

“Yeah, I, uh, I know.” She laughs awkwardly, “Nice to put a face to the name.”

An incredibly gorgeous face, Robin screams inside. Of all the problems she was facing today, this shouldn’t be one of them. Monsters, Russians, that was pretty much up her alley right now. Sudden introductions of pretty girls that literally took her breath away? Not on her bingo card.

Robin noticed the tension in the air between you and Nancy, that same unspoken theory recycling in her mind. What happened last year? Why weren’t you there at Starcourt? Why were you back?

She didn’t really know if she would regret knowing the answers. All she knew was that you had been here all of two minutes and Robin already felt like you were going to change her life.

Because, you were. In more ways than one.

Update: The Pariahs That Saved The World

[if you want there to be more chapters, pls comment below or leave it in my asks to be added to a taglist, i don't want to post something no one wants to read <3]

[savemohamedfamily123]

I'm Mohammed Ayoub Al-Madhoun, a Palestinian from Gaza, I am 25 years old, married and have two beautiful daughters, Masa, who is three years old, and Misk, who is ten months old.

We used to live a safe life full of joy and prosperity. We worked hard without any slacking during the past 5 years.

I graduated from the Gaza Community Training College, majoring in mechanical engineering, but there were no job opportunities, so I resorted to looking for new ways of working.

I worked as a taxi driver to provide the basic necessities of life, such as food, drink and shelter.

We started building our new house a very short time before the war, and it seems that we have become without anything.

Unfortunately, there are still large financial payments that have not been paid yet, approximately ten thousand dollars.

I was able to own a car in installments a few months before the war, unfortunately I do not know its fate as I was unable to take it to the southern Gaza Strip because we left with nothing on foot, and when I was able to complete its installments, the seller began to demand his right.

It is very difficult to say that we have lost everything, it is like a recurring nightmare that we live every day, we have lost our beautiful and peaceful life and our warm and safe home, our dreams of a bright future have been shattered.

We were forced to evacuate our home after the army bombed the house adjacent to our home in Jabalia neighborhood and our home was severely damaged to the point that it was no longer habitable.

We left everything from food, drink and clothing in our homes, and we left our home and headed to the southern part of the Strip hoping for a better and safer life, but unfortunately there is no longer a safe place in Gaza, and I also need an eye operation that is very expensive and needs to be performed abroad.

Therefore, I am forced to communicate and ask for help from you, hoping that you will extend a helping hand to us in our difficult and difficult days.Every donation will greatly affect our ability to deal with these enormous challenges, and provide basic necessities such as food, drink, clothing and treatment in particular.

I am very optimistic about returning to the life I have always wanted. Your invaluable help will be used to provide for my family's basic needs and restore our home when it's time to return.

God Bless You

I ASK ALL OF YOU TO HELP MY FAMILY AND DONATE IN THE LINK PLEASE🍉

@buttercupart @appsa @timetogetafirst @brutalgeneration , @schoolhater , @aces-and-anime , @turian , @malcriada , @magnusandalec , @transmutationisms , @brokenbells , @neptunesbounty @sar-sora @imjustheretotrytohelp @mothblossoms @jezior0 @cenobug @aristote @aristotel @mangocheesecakes @kyra45-helping-others @7bitter-sweet-blog @tortiefrancis @feluka @terrorist4-blog-blog @irhabiya @commissions4aid-international @wellwaterhysteria @aristotlestrology @komsomolka @xinakwans @heritageposts @nibeul @mortalityplays @queerstoriesqdm @sayruq @fridgebrilliance-blog-blog @27-moonlightbabe-blog @tamakid @familyabolisher @fleshdyk3 @meaganfoskin @briarhips @dirhwangdaseul-archived @mahoushojoe

[highlordofkrypton]

ACOTAR FANDOM ANALYSIS

…because apparently I miss academics?

PART 1 - CONTEXT & FACTORS TO CONSIDER

This was originally supposed to be an addition to @praetorqueenreyna’s post, but it started to get long and I didn’t wanna clutter your post. If you haven’t seen her essay on ACOTAR fandom culture, please do check it out because she made amazing and very valid points that I’m just gonna ramble on top of.

OKAY, APPARENTLY, THIS IS GONNA HAVE MULTIPLE PARTS. AFTER I WROTE THIS I REALIZE THERE’S SO MUCH.

I do want to disclaim that this isn’t targeted to any one part of the fandom, merely observations from someone who is relatively new to the ACOTAR fandom (around April-ish). I’m also way too lazy to get sources and stuff. I’m also missing a lot of fandom history.

ABOUT FANDOM CULTURE

At its core, fandom culture is niche. It’s strange, it’s not cool in a popular way, it’s geeky, it’s awkward, it’s community-oriented and a place detached from the mainstream. Hobbies, interests and discussions that you couldn’t really have these conversations with anyone in your day to day because they needed to engage with the piece of media and even then, they needed to care about it enough to create, deconstruct, reconstruct, and contribute to the fandom.

Fandom comes with a sense of belonging. It’s about liking the media, yes, but it’s about liking the media enough that you want to immerse yourself in it. You want more than just the book, the show, the song, etc.

With fandom, especially on Tumblr, there are subcultures within fandom, based on a character, a ship, a spinoff, etc. Fans can find (or create) a community to connect with on specific parts of a media, and that’s a beautiful thing. While fandom is not perfect, and it has its dark, embarrassing, painful moments, over the years it’s developed its own unspoken rules. Most of the ‘subcultures’ stay among them, and even with drama, the overlap isn’t as constant as ACOTAR. Usually, it comes in waves, and evens out eventually.

Most importantly, fandom is a place where you can just be yourself. You can shake off the weight of the outside world, and just do your thing! There are so many politics at play and rules in your day-to-day life, why not get a little weird? Fandom is a place where you find your other weirdos, and the judgmental people are usually a minority.  It can also be really small and you know everyone in the fandom—shoutout to my other 4 Orm Marius homies!!

POST-PANDEMIC CONTEXT AND THIRD PLACES

When the pandemic hit, in places that were locked down, habits needed to change and there was nowhere to go. You couldn’t really escape, so online was the best place. You had people returning to old hobbies, such as crafts, gaming, reading, etc. You also had people searching for new things to partake in. Either boredom, coping with the new way of the world or just finding people to talk to, those are valid reasons.

I’d like to introduce the notion of third places. Third place is considered to be a place that is not home, work or school. It is a place where you can get out of your routine and decompress. Libraries, coffee shops, going to the bar, or anywhere else where you can just step away from the grind and the routine. These are social spots that help alleviate the weight of your daily pressures. For some, their third place was strictly an in-person event.

With the arrival of the pandemic, these third places became inaccessible and even after lockdown was lifted, some of these places were irrevocably changed—either they closed permanently or the hours changed in such a way that they were not accessible. For example, I used to spend a lot of time in my favourite bookstore because it would open at 8AM and close at 10PM. After the pandemic, it opens at 10AM and closes at 5PM. For someone who works, I can no longer use this as my ‘third place’.

For many fandom members, their third place was online. They already know the rules of etiquette from observing, and joining out of their own curiosity. Time spent in fandom teaches you the unspoken tenets of interaction. ‘Don’t like, don’t read,’ is one example. Additionally, being part of a small fandom, but loving something so much that you want to connect with someone, anyone, teaches you to be a lot more respectful of the space you’re entering. You may not like everyone all the time, but ultimately, your enjoyment of your fandom should precede everything else.

Joining a fandom on your own, or with a small group, is completely different from joining en masse. Now, you have many people seeking a place to ‘connect’ coming in with their preconceived notions learned from other places. Maybe a different subculture that isn’t fandom. Maybe an assumption of how fandom should be. 

BOOKTOK VS. FANDOM - CLIQUES VS. COMMUNITIES

I’ve heard the argument that the ‘popular kids’ joining fandom is ruining fandom. I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, trying to look at the demographics of BookTok and the patterns of behaviour that are associated with BookTok vs. fandom. I’m on BookTok, but I look for smaller communities, but I see all the drama, all the time.

Here are a few of my assessments:

All social media platforms allow you to cater your page and feed to what YOU want, but not all social media is community based. It is geared for content to consume, and feeds the algorithm to keep you on the platform, so that companies can pay the platform for advertising.

Most other social media encourage you to use parts if not your entire identity (photos, video, name, etc.) and I believe that creates a direct correlation to a person’s sense of validation when receiving likes, comments, engagement. Tumblr, on the other hand, rarely focuses on the identity of the person behind the screen, but rather you build your identity through what you share, the posts you make or reblog. It has shifted to be more similar to other social media (for moniessssss) but it wasn’t like this years ago. Over a decade ago, Tumblr used to be the only place where I could get fandom stuff and Deviantart.

Other social media platforms emphasize that you are the product. With the success of influencers, many people try to replicate the same success by using themselves, their talent and most importantly, their opinions on social media. BookTok is essentially an online book club, which means that it’s mostly sharing thoughts, and less about creation.

Content on social media, put out by influencers is created not with the intention for interaction, but rather, reach. People aren't used to the pushback and continuous discourse that happens on Tumblr where many people can chime in at once.

The desire to belong compounded with the impact of influencers on social media naturally sets people into two categories: creators and consumers. Content creators who have achieved success are placed on the same pedestal our modern society places celebrities on. Due to their following, some people might believe their opinions are more valid because there is a large number of people following them. Some people might be influenced by the ‘majority’ they see following an influencer, which is part of the course. That’s why they’re called influencers.

As a former marketing specialist, I’d like to assert that there are so many more factors in play than a valid take. Aesthetics are a big part of it, and charisma. Both of which fall under the same attributes as the ‘popular’ kids in school. As someone with a lot of charisma in person, I know for a fact that if you package something prettily enough, you can get away with anything.

The problem is: fandom doesn’t work like that.

Fandom is a place where unpopular opinions and niche things thrive. It’s the place where no one cares if you’re cool, and the pretty things come in forms of art (crafts, visual art, writing, etc.). It’s also a place for discourse for those who enjoy that, digging deeper into themes and what not.

The problem is: you have a subculture that is largely an echo chamber and largely one-sided 'community' entering a space with an established dynamic with a lot of back and forth. Sometimes, the rule in fandom is that the rules don’t apply. 

I believe that this isn’t the root of the toxicity, but elements to consider when speaking of the ACOTAR fandom which, like Reyna said, feels like an amplification of the worst elements of fandom.

It's super late here, so I'll come back to actually start saying something LMAO CAUSE THIS FEELS LIKE A WHOLE LOT OF NOTHING.