#clearly i've always made questionable shipping choices

[nightwriter357]

Smosh Summer Games: Ships 5

Hello friends! Here’s Part 5 of myDamien x Reader series centered around Smosh summer games. This one is definitely smut(18+) so prepare for that. Hope you're still enjoying the story and my ask is always open for suggestions or just general questions.

Love you allll

Part 5: Why won't anyone dance with me? Cause I wanna fuck you.

The group gathered in the lounge, excitement buzzing in the air. You and Damien exchanged a look, a mix of anticipation and nervous energy building between you.

Courtney nudged you with a mischievous grin. "So, what do you think the next game is?"

Before you could respond, the door burst open, and Spencer sauntered in with exaggerated flair. He was previously seen in a long judge's robe with an old-timey wig, but now the robe was cut to the same length as a miniskirt, revealing hairy legs and red flip-flops.

The wig was gone, but he still wore the whistle around his neck. He strutted into the room, dramatically posing as everyone turned to look. For a moment, there was a stunned silence, followed by an eruption of reactions.

Spencer raised his arms theatrically. "Behold, the new and improved judge!"

Everyone burst into laughter, some doubling over while others clapped in amusement.

"Oh my God, my eyes!" Shayne groaned, shielding his face.

"That is the worst thing I've ever seen," Amanda said, unable to stop laughing.

Ian leaned back, trying to keep a straight face. "That's... certainly a choice."

Arasha shook her head, grinning. "Spencer, what happened to you?"

Chanse managed to get out. "Dude, you look ridiculous!" Before going right nack to laughing again.

Trevor, however, was all smiles. "That looks awesome, bro!"

Spencer rolled his eyes good-naturedly, striking another pose. "Alright, alright, enough with the comments. Clearly, someone tried to sabotage my look, but all they did was make me even sexier."

He shot a glance at Courtney and Shayne, who both tried to look innocent, but their eyes darted to you and Damien.

Arasha's eyes widened. "Oh my God, you guys cut up his robe!"

Noah looked between you and Damien, realization dawning. "That makes so much sense. That's why you were being so weird this morning, you were distracting us."

Amanda nodded, laughing. "Oh yeah, you guys were acting crazy. Now it all makes sense."

Shayne, catching on to everyone's comments and piecing things together, added, "We did it yesterday, actually," giving you and Damien a knowing look. His tone implied he suspected there was more to your recent behavior.

Angela raised an eyebrow. "So there's no explanation for you guys being weird this morning?"

Damien shrugged, smirking. "We weren't being weird."

You chimed in, playfully addressing everyone who had commented. "Yeah, you guys are weird."

Spencer cleared his throat, regaining everyone's attention. "Alright, listen up! The next game is... Just Dance! Each ship gets one duet, and Ian and Anthony will have the final dance duel!"

Ian and Anthony exchanged a look, their playful rivalry flaring up immediately.

"Oh, you're going down, Padilla," Ian quipped, puffing out his chest.

Anthony smirked, crossing his arms. "Bring it, Hecox. You're about to witness dance perfection."

Courtney leaned in closer to you, her voice low and teasing. "Are you going to be able to focus with Damien all up in your space?"

You felt a mix of excitement and nerves tighten in your chest. Being this close to Damien, especially in front of everyone, was thrilling but also made you a bit anxious. You shot Courtney a look, trying to play it cool, but the smirk on her face told you she saw right through you.

Damien, catching the tail end of your conversation, leaned in, his voice flirty but low enough that no one else could hear. "I guess this means I get to touch you after all."

Your heart skipped a beat as you met his gaze. "Just try to keep up."

Courtney watched the exchange, clearly amused, knowing there was more going on between you two than you were ready to admit. Shayne, who hadn't even been told anything explicitly, seemed to be putting the pieces together too, exchanging a knowing glance with Courtney.

As the game was about to begin, you couldn't help but feel both happy and nervous. Being close to Damien, especially under the watchful eyes of everyone else, felt like walking a tightrope between excitement and the fear of giving too much away. You weren't sure how much people knew, but with the way Courtney and Shayne were acting, you were beginning to suspect that maybe you weren't as subtle as you thought.

As everyone gathered around the makeshift dance floor, the Just Dance game loaded up on the screen. Spencer, still looking gorgeous in his outfit, stood at the front, twirling his whistle on its cord. "Alright, let's get this party started! First up, we have... Arasha and Trevor!"

The opening notes of 'Uptown Funk' began to play, and Arasha and Trevor stepped forward. Their routine was full of energy, with Trevor throwing in some goofy moves while Arasha added flair with her sharp, confident steps. The two played off each other perfectly, getting the group hyped up with their enthusiastic performance.

Next up were Amanda and Angela, who danced to 'Single Ladies.' Amanda leaned into the choreography with sassy confidence, and Angela matched her energy, both clearly enjoying themselves. The room erupted in cheers when they nailed the iconic hand flip and ring finger move, everyone clapping along to the beat.

Courtney and Shayne took the stage next, performing to 'I Wanna Dance with Somebody.' Courtney's enthusiasm was infectious, while Shayne's moves were surprisingly smooth, showing off his hidden dance skills. They had the group laughing and cheering as they added their own twists to the routine.

Shayne grinned at Courtney and then turned to the others, confidently declaring, "There's no way we're losing this one, guys. 'Peg-leggers' for the win!"

After Noah and Keith's electrifying performance to Michael Jackson's 'Smooth Criminal,' Spencer called out, "Next up, we've got Damien and Y/n!"

The familiar opening notes of '(I've Had) The Time of My Life' filled the room, and you felt a rush of nerves. Dancing had never been your strong suit, and the pressure of performing in front of everyone-especially with Damien-was making you feel a little clumsy. You exchanged a quick look with Damien, who gave you a reassuring smile.

"We've got this," he whispered, his hand lingering on your back as you got into position.

The dance began with Damien dipping you low. His grip was steady, and for a moment, everything felt perfect. But as the routine continued, you found yourself getting more flustered. Damien's hands on your waist, guiding you through the steps, were distracting in a way you hadn't anticipated. You stumbled slightly as you spun out of his hold, catching yourself just in time.

"You okay?" Damien asked, his voice soft but amused.

"Yeah, just... trying to keep up," you replied with a sheepish smile, focusing on his movements to steady yourself.

The dance continued, and though you missed a step here and there, Damien was quick to cover for you, his hands finding your waist again and pulling you back into rhythm.

His touch was gentle but firm, guiding you through the more complicated moves. You couldn't help but feel like you were messing up more than usual, the combination of your nerves and the closeness to Damien making it hard to concentrate.

The room's attention was on you both, and you could hear a few whispered comments and cheers from the group.

"Damn, they're really into it," Noah whispered to Keith, who nodded in agreement.

"Look at those moves! Go, leg-peggers!" Tommy shouted, his voice filled with encouragement.

As the song built toward the iconic lift, you felt your heart race. This was the big moment. Taking a deep breath, you ran toward Damien, who lifted you effortlessly into the air. For a few seconds, it felt like everything else disappeared. The room erupted into applause and cheers as Damien held you steady, both of you grinning like idiots.

"Wow, didn't think they'd pull that off," Courtney muttered to Shayne, clearly impressed.

The performance ended with Damien lowering you gently back to the ground, both of you out of breath but smiling. The group erupted in applause, with a few hoots and whistles thrown in.

"That was incredible!" Angela yelled, clearly impressed, sipping on a glass of paint.. water.. it's probably water.

You glanced at Damien, who gave you a wink. "Told you we could do it, lover."

Next up were Chanse and Tommy, who danced to 'Toxic' by Britney Spears. Their performance was full of exaggerated moves and hilarious facial expressions, clearly playing up the dramatics for the crowd. The room was filled with laughter as Chanse did his best Britney impression, while Tommy leaned into the over-the-top choreography with a mischievous grin.

Finally, it was time for Ian and Anthony. As the first notes of 'You're the One That I Want' from 'Grease' played, the room buzzed with anticipation. Ian, always the performer, threw himself into the role of Sandy, prancing around with exaggerated hip sways and dramatic hair flips. Anthony, taking on the role of Danny, tried his best to keep up but ended up laughing halfway through as Ian's antics became increasingly ridiculous.

As the song reached its climax, Ian and Anthony leaned into each other, their faces inches apart before bursting into laughter. The room erupted in cheers and applause, everyone clearly enjoying the playful rivalry between the two.

Spencer stepped forward, trying to keep a straight face as he held up his whistle. "And the winners of this round are... the Peg-leggers!"

Ian pumped his fist in the air, grinning with satisfaction. "Yes! That's how it's done!" He turned to face the camera, his expression smug. "The score is now: Seamen: 2, Peg-leggers: 1. We're coming for you, Anthony."

Anthony rolled his eyes, but he couldn't hide his smile as the group cheered and laughed, everyone still buzzing from the excitement of the dance battle.

As you caught your breath, you couldn't help but feel a mix of relief and exhilaration. Dancing with Damien had been nerve-wracking, but it had also been... fun.

He leaned over to you, "you know, I've really had the time of my life, and I do owe it all to you".

You smiled back at Damien, "you swear that's the truth?"

The sun had set, casting a warm, amber glow over the dining area as everyone gathered around the long wooden table. After the intense Just Dance competition, the group had taken some time to freshen up, and now they were enjoying a well-deserved dinner.

You looked around the table, taking in the different conversations happening all at once. At one end, Arasha and Trevor were locked in a spirited exchange, their banter aimed squarely at Ian and Anthony, who were content to let the younger duo have their fun.

Trevor leaned in with a grin. "You know, Arasha and I were obviously the MVPs tonight. We're still in our prime, and sooo young compared to you old farts."

Arasha grinned mischievously. "You know, Trevor, every time I'm out in public, people ask me why I'm not at school. They can’t believe I'm old enough to be out on my own."

Trevor laughed, nodding in agreement. "Same! I get asked if I'm selling girl scout cookies all the time. I guess I just have that look about me."

Arasha smirked, leaning closer as if to share a secret. "Oh, and did you know that these guys," she gestured toward Ian and Anthony, "created a channel called ‘Smaush’ or something on YouTube… like 40 years ago?"

Trevor gasped, playing along. "No way! I didn’t know that, Arasha. Is that true?"

Ian and Anthony exchanged amused looks, but before they could respond, Arasha nodded seriously. " I saw it on tiktok so it must be true."

The two of them dissolved into laughter, high-fiving each other as the rest of the table chuckled along.

Across the table, Amanda and Angela were too absorbed in their own conversation to notice the banter.

Amanda pushed her chair back and stood up, gesturing animatedly. "Okay, so when we did this move," she demonstrated a quick dance step, "I was thinking, you could come up behind me and do this," she said, mimicking the action.

Angela nodded, standing up to join her. "Yeah, and then when we do that, we can hit the 'oh-oh-oh' part right on the beat!"

They both laughed, trying to synchronize their movements in the small space beside the table.

You couldn't help but smile as you watched them. The whole room felt alive, everyone caught up in their own little worlds of conversation and camaraderie. But despite the lively atmosphere, your attention kept drifting back to Damien, who was sitting in front of you, his presence impossible to ignore.

Every now and then, you felt his leg brush against yours under the table, a subtle but deliberate touch that sent a shiver up your spine. You tried to focus on your food, but it was hard not to be distracted by the warmth of his thigh against yours, the occasional graze of his hand against your arm as he reached for something.

Courtney, sitting across from you, caught your eye and smirked, leaning in slightly. "Are you going eat? Or is someone a little too distracted tonight?"

You rolled your eyes playfully, trying to brush it off. "I'm fine, Court. Just... enjoying the evening."

Damien, catching the exchange, leaned in closer, his voice a low murmur. "So, with the way things are going, do you think we could sneak off ? Just us?"

Before Damien could respond, a burst of laughter at the far end of the table caught your attention. Spencer had just made a playful jab at Tommy. "Spencer, you really don't think highly of me, do you?"

Your heart skipped a beat at the suggestion, and despite the temptation, you shook your head with a smile. "No way. That would be too suspicious, we've been going to bed early two nights in a row."

Without missing a beat, Spencer replied, "I actually think about you a lot when I'm high."

The entire table erupted in laughter, the unexpected punchline catching everyone off guard. You laughed along with them, feeling the warmth of the camaraderie wrapping around you like a comforting blanket.

As the laughter died down, Courtney leaned in again, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "Okay, you have to spill. You guys definitely didn't just accidentally kiss just once. I saw the way Damien was acting yesterday. I mean, when we walked in and saw you two with the mattresses put together, I knew something was up. Damien would not let you sleep on the floor."

You sighed, realizing there was no getting around it. "Okay yes, we've slept in the same bed, but only because it was uncomfortable. And the proximity... it's the only reason we kissed. We just got caught up in the moment, that's all. Nothing more is going to happen."

Courtney smirked, clearly not entirely convinced but willing to let the subject drop for now. "Alright, if you say so. Just know, I'm keeping an eye on you two."

You glanced at Damien, who was engaged in conversation with Noah across the table. He caught your eye and gave you a small, reassuring smile.

As the evening wound down, the lively atmosphere of the dinner began to quiet. Conversations slowed, and laughter became a background murmur as people started to drift away from the table. One by one, guests said their goodbyes, heading to their rooms or heading out for the night.

Soon, the only sounds left were the distant footsteps of the last few stragglers heading to their rooms and the occasional burst of laughter from the hallways. Damien and you eventually made your way to your room, later than usual, but the quiet of the house reminded you that you were among the few still awake.

As the door to the room clicked shut, the quiet of the night enveloped you both. You turned to Damien, your heart racing with a mix of anticipation and nervousness. "I need you tonight," you confessed, your voice almost trembling.

Damien's eyes searched yours, a mix of desire and concern. "Are you sure?" he asked softly.

You nodded, your resolve firm.

Damien stepped closer, his hands brushing lightly against your skin, causing you to shiver with each touch. His fingertips traced a path along your arms, down to your waist, and across your lower back. His lips followed, placing soft, reverent kisses on your exposed skin.

You let out a soft moan as his hands roamed your body. His breath was warm against your neck and you felt yourself craving more of his touch. You wrapped your hands behind his neck and lifted your head up to meet his lips. Kissing Damien was just as nice as it had been the night before but this time there was something more.

The kiss grew more intense as you both found your way to the bed. You pulled your shirt over your head, barely noticing Damien's eyes taking you in before you went to kiss him again. You both undressed as best you could, not wanting to break the kiss or stop touching.

His fingers alternated between light feathery touches and nails digging into your skin. Mostly he was on your thighs, squeezing and letting his fingers stroke over every part of you except for where you really wanted him. You broke the kiss and gently guided his hand to show him what you wanted.

You shivered as his fingers pressed up against you panties, "Damien, I need you now."

He started with a teasing touch, feeling the wetness of your panties through the fabric. "You're already wet," he murmured, his breath hot against your skin. His fingers lingered, stroking the fabric as he watched you squirm.

The slow removal of your panties felt almost ceremonial. Damien's touch grew bolder, his fingers gently brushing against your bare skin. His gaze was intense, filled with admiration and hunger. "Your body is so fucking perfect," he breathed, his eyes never leaving your face as he explored your body.

Your fingers found their way to his hardened cock, your touch tentative yet eager. As you stroked him, Damien's breath caught, his pleasure evident. One of his fingers slid inside you, moving with a deliberate rhythm. Your bodies were close, the heat between you palpable.

Damien's hands were a masterful combination of tenderness and need. One hand worked skillfully by your crotch, pumping into you, while the other grasped your breast, his nails gently digging into your skin. You responded to his touch with an eager passion, practically riding his finger as you let your hand run up and down his throbbing cock.

Damien's gaze was locked onto yours, his expression a mix of awe and hunger. "You feel incredible," he murmured, his voice husky with desire. "I can't get enough of you."

You panted, your breaths coming in short, ragged gasps as you moved against his fingers. "Damien," you whimpered, "please."

He pressed his body closer to yours, his eyes never leaving your face. "I want you so badly," he said, his voice a low growl. "Just seeing you like this, feeling you around me... it's everything."

The connection between you was electric, each touch, each kiss intensifying the moment. Damien's finger worked in you with a steady rhythm, pushing deeper, his movements expertly timed to match your needs. The way he touched you made you lose yourself in the pleasure, every sensation heightened.

Finally, as he positioned himself above you, his eyes locked onto yours. He entered you slowly, inch by inch, his gaze intense and filled with a mix of reverence and hunger. The sensation of him filling you up completely was overwhelming, his movements deep and deliberate.

The initial thrust was painstakingly slow, his cock stretching you out as he eased deeper, savoring every reaction on your face. His hands cradled your cheeks, his touch tender as he brushed away the sweat and tears from the corners of your eyes. He could feel you adjusting, accommodating his size, and he watched you closely, his breaths coming in steady, controlled pants.

As he continued to move inside you, each thrust was measured and deep. He could tell you were doing your best to take him fully, your moans growing louder with each inch he pushed deeper. His cock filled you completely, stretching you in ways that made every touch and movement feel profound and intimate.

Damien's hands roamed to your back, stroking and soothing as he watched the way your body responded to him. The overwhelming sensation of him filling you up was evident in your strained breaths and the way your hands clung to his back. Your legs wrapped around him instinctively, pulling him closer as if trying to meld your bodies into one.

Damien's voice was low, but commanding. "Can you be quiet for me? I need to fuck you harder. Look at me-I want to see you."

His thrusts grew faster and more intense, each movement hitting deep and hard. The rhythm was no longer slow but a relentless pounding that drove you both wild. Every powerful thrust elicited loud moans from you, your hands gripping his back desperately and your mouth finding places on his body to bite into to muffle your cries. Your body responded to his urgency, your legs clenching around him as he slammed into you with a fervent, almost frantic pace.

Damien's grunts and moans matched the intensity of his thrusts, his focus solely on the way you felt around him. He seemed addicted to the sensation, the feeling of you tightening around him, and he moved with a fierce, consuming need. The impact of his movements was overwhelming, a perfect storm of pleasure and pressure that had you crying out for more

As you neared your climax, you begged him, "Please don't stop, Damien. Keep fucking me like this, please."

Damien's response was a fervent promise. "I won't stop. I'd keep you like this forever if I could. Just watching that pretty expression on your face, hearing those sweet sounds from your lips... it's fucking perfect."

The intensity of your orgasm was overwhelming, your body clenching around him, driving him to his own release. He filled you completely, his final thrusts deep and powerful. You both collapsed on the bed, breathing heavily, the room echoing with the sounds of your shared pleasure.

As the last waves of climax subsided, you reached for each other, pulling into a tender embrace. The closeness was comforting, and you felt overwhelmed at what you had just shared.

'That was amazing," you whispered, your voice filled with wonder and satisfaction.

Damien nodded, his smile warm and genuine. "It was. I've never.. wow."

In the quiet of the room, with the weight of the night's passion settling over you both, you held each other close, savoring the intense bond that had just been solidified.

You looked over at him, with your cheek practically glued to his chest. " You are so not a shellfish lover."

He smiled at you, "but you do really grab everything with two hands".

Despite what just happened between you there was still a part of you that craved his closeness and still got a bit flustered and nervous when his lips touched yours.

You let out a small laugh as Damien pulled you into a kiss.

[mooonjin]

Likes and Dislikes

Notes: OKAY SOO i know its been a hot minute since i posted SORRRYYYY ive been soso busy with work but now i present to you... WRECKER FIC >:)

Pairing: Wrecker x gn!reader

Summary: Your alone time with Wrecker doesn't go as you expected.

Warnings/Tags: mentions of explosives, minor kissing, fluff, like really small angst??, slight yelling — tell me if I've missed anything!

Aboard the ship, the atmosphere had settled into a rare calm, the steady hum of the engines a background comfort as the squad drifted into their own routines. Wrecker was tinkering with a piece of armor and muttering about his latest encounter with some unfortunate droids. You’d been watching him for a while. In a rare moment of impulse, you broke the silence between you.

"What do you like?" you asked, surprising both him and yourself with the question.

He perked up, pausing his work to flash you a broad grin. "What do I like? There's a lot! Blowin' up stuff, battling clankers, sleeping, food... oh, especially those Mantell Mixes on Ord Mantell." His eyes twinkled with the enthusiasm that he seemed to carry with him no matter where they were or what they faced.

You raised an eyebrow, genuinely intrigued by his affection for a food snack that seemed to be more than just a treat. "Mantell Mix?" you asked.

"Yeah! They're like little crunchy things y'eat!" he said, as if this were some life-altering discovery.

You couldn’t help but chuckle, mirroring his smile. "I figured," you replied, before glancing away. You weren’t quite sure what made you ask, but something about his open nature encouraged honesty. "What about what you dislike?"

For once, he seemed stumped, his brow furrowing. He scratched his head thoughtfully before answering, "Hmm... that's a hard question. I don't know what I dislike. Maybe people tryin' to hurt Omega or my brothers." His tone softened at the mention of his squadmates, his loyalty showing through.

"That's sweet of you," you said with a small smile. The truth was, you admired how he protected those close to him. There was something unspoken in the way he looked out for them.

"Anything to keep 'em safe!" he said with conviction. "What about you? Do you have anything ya don't like?"

The question caught you off guard. You hesitated, glancing away before muttering, "War, inflation, you, smelly places, broken speeders, and Lotho Minor."

The silence that followed was broken by his startled laugh. "Wa— Wait... did you say 'you' as in me?" he asked, eyes wide.

"Yeah."

He looked hurt for a second, then almost amused. "Why don't y'like me?" he pressed, clearly curious, shuffling towards you.

Feeling defensive, you shot back, "No comment."

But he was persistent, a trait you both admired and found mildly annoying. "Hey, c'mon, you gotta comment! I wanna know why, cus' you're still talking to me." His grin widened, but there was a hint of genuine confusion in his eyes.

You looked away, a bit embarrassed. "You don’t need to know."

He crossed his arms, leaning closer. "Well, 'm gonna keep annoying ya if I don't get an answer," he declared, refusing to back down.

"Oh please, no," you groaned, rolling your eyes.

"Gotta tell me then!" he challenged.

You huffed, finally relenting. "I don’t dislike you."

"But you just said ya did! So do you like me or not?"

"Does it matter?" you asked, hoping to dodge further interrogation.

"Yes!" he answered firmly, leaving you with little choice.

You took a deep breath, feeling your patience slipping. "You’re so loud and always feel the need to inter—"

"Hey, well that's who I am!" he cut in without missing a beat, looking unapologetic.

"—rupt," you finished, giving him a sharp look. "This is why. You can never keep to yourself, and... you're so astute. You interact with people much easier than I can and always make good friends with people you don’t even know! You’re playful, and it makes it hard to watch when you’re trying to be all... lovey-dovey."

Wrecker blinked at that, momentarily silenced, a rare occurrence. His usual grin was replaced by something softer as you continued, words spilling out that you hadn’t realized you were holding back. "You’re so good with weapons and explosives and give great interest in stuff you’ve never seen before. You always complain when there’s no rations or when we encounter insects on missions! I hate how you laugh anyway when someone tells a bad joke."

He opened his mouth as if to say something, but you weren’t done yet, and your frustration finally found its voice. "I share my food with you, and you take it, but you never spare a second glance! I can never get myself to be versed in the world of explosives, so when we go dumpster diving, I can never have a conversation with you. I comment on how you look in your different sets of armor, but you never respond." You shrugged, attempting nonchalance. "So, you don’t like me."

For a moment, there was nothing but silence. Then he reached over, tilting your chin up, his gaze holding yours with an intensity you hadn’t expected. "There’s a reason why 'm holdin' your chin like this, y’know."

The moment hung between you, thick with words left unsaid and the quiet hum of the ship’s engine. Wrecker’s gaze softened, his hand still resting gently against your chin as he leaned a bit closer, eyes flickering between yours. You hadn’t expected him to be so tender yet so surprisingly hesitant.

He closed the gap slowly, his lips brushing yours in a kiss that was surprisingly gentle for someone so strong. It was warm and unexpectedly sweet, his hand moving to cradle the back of your head as if he was afraid you’d disappear if he didn’t hold on. The world around you fell away, and for that moment, there was only the warmth of his touch and the softness of his kiss.

Your heart skipped, the tenderness in his touch taking you by surprise. "W—What was that kiss for?" you stammered when he leaned in for a brief, unexpected kiss, his laughter rumbling low in his chest.

When he pulled back, his grin was even wider, a light flush colouring his cheeks. "To prove you wrong, haha! Guess ya didn’t dislike that too much, huh?"

He grinned, his eyes sparkling. "Okay, okay, y'dislike me—I know now! But we gotta continue with the rest. How about what ya like?"

He looked so serious, so hopeful, that you couldn’t help but soften. After a moment of silence, your answer slipped out quietly.

"...You."

-

Post-Notes: oops how was it? i kkinda thought it was cute this was mainly just dialogue practice since i cantr seem to read my own dialogue without cringing LOL

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[galexibrain]

Something that bugs me a little is the insistence that Gohan actively hates to fight period. Bc that's not true!

(This ignores everything that happened outside the original manga/the DBZ anime)

Yes, he lacks Goku's or Vegeta's laser-focus on all things martial arts, but let's be real, all half Saiyans do. Goten & Trunks sure have more passion for fighting than Gohan does but they're much more "human" about it than their dads and have other interests in their lives too.

But while Gohan originally became a fighter out of necessity and had little choice in the matter there are instances when he clearly shows that he is totally capable of enjoying himself in a fight.

For once there's obviously his fight against Cell - once he snapped his "Saiyan side" took the lead and he was enjoying himself a little too much (and ruined it, like a good Saiyan must).

But it also becomes clear in the early Buu arc. Yeah, initially he's not rly interested in the tournament and wouldn't have participated if not for Videl forcing him.

But once he was in he was in. He even got a little annoyed by Videl interrupting his training, and he did want to win. If he really hated it so much he could have entered with the plan of failing the preliminaries, or losing in the first round. But the thought never crossed his mind. I think if you'd suggested he botches it deliberately to get out of it he'd been horrified.

He was going to have fun with it! I think his most "Saiyan" trait is that he's a bit of a showman lol. He likes to be flashy! And he likes to boast! He COULD have just used a plain costume and mask to hide hid identity but nope, Great Saiyaman it is! He likes being seen and being known as a crazy strong superhero. Maybe he'd have been into pro-wrestling with their fancy costumes and showmanship

Even before things went off the rails at the tournament and Buu arc was set in motion he was ready to go. And yes his crush on Videl might have served as motivation: "haha cool she won't be disappointed if someone beats her dad! (I can date her if I beat her dad)" -> he WOULD have thrown Satan out of the ring if he'd gotten to fight him, no questions asked.

And once he, Goku & Vegeta are in Babidi's spaceship it gets even clearer: now, no one is forcing him to fight. Ofc Gohan always wanted to fight when it was necessary, even at 5yo he wouldn't stay home, he made it very clear that he was going to Namek.

But while they were going through the levels in Babidi's ship this still wasn't a serious thing. Pui Pui and Yakon were a joke for them. Vegeta was getting pissed, ok, but aside from that it was just fun and games for them, and Gohan could easily have said "nah have at it you two, I'm sitting this one out" but never once did he so much as consider NOT taking part in rock-paper-scissoring it out to decide who gets to go first.

He was eager to fight Dabra! Dabra told them to take him on 3:1 and Gohan flat out told him "no way, this is MY fight!". And if Vegeta had interfered with that fight to end it quicker I'm 100% sure Gohan would have decked him in the face and told him to fuck off. (Maybe that would have cooled Geets' mood a little lol.)

The problem isn't that Gohan hates fighting from the bottom of his heart. He doesn't. The problem is he grew up with a dad who was 100% a fighter and a mum who was 100% into education, and he didn't find a balance. He didn't even know that might be an option! He thought he'd HAVE to choose one thing, and one alone, and so he chose education.

Who could have taught him otherwise? Maaaaybe Piccolo (post-reunification with Kami), but tbh I think he didn't want to give Gohan the feeling he had to fight. I think Piccolo feels a little bad for putting 4-5yo Gohan through the wringer so much.

Like idk. Let my boy be both. Let him have Goku's legacy as well as make his own!

(I've read about Dragon Ball Online a little and tbh Gohan writing a book on ki and making it widely known? Perfect. I love it. Best idea ever. Probably the best thing that happened to DB since the original manga and Z anime ended. I am accepting this as canon 100%.)

[gunsatthaphan]

GMMTV 2024 part 1 - review

another year, another lineup, another post that no one asked for dhkgdf

But here are my thoughts on the announced shows from today (in order of announcement, BLs are marked with a 🏳️‍🌈, personal favorites are marked with a 🌟):

My Precious The Series: This project has been lingering around for 4 years now since it was announced and I'm tired lmao why are they making this into a series now??? I have many questions. I never had any desire to watch the movie, it seems like a generic coming of age drama oozing with unnecessary nostalgia so it's a pass for me. .

Ploy's Yearbook (🌟): I like this one!!!! It's giving I'm Tee Me Too but with a female ensemble cast, all of which are fantastic and also the rest of the cast is very promising and we're in for a lot of new ships - I was hoping Earth and the other 30yr olds would finally be free of the blue shorts but maybe this the last one 🤡 but anyway yes I will definitely be tuning into that one 👍🏻 .

We Are (🏳️‍🌈): I'm just gonna go ahead and assume this is the WabiSabi show because it looks terrible. Like how lazy do you have to be to just throw a bunch of BL side- and 1 mainstream couple into the same show with the most basic plot you can think of like what a joke?? WinnySatang are another side couple in this so either they're getting their actual debut show in part 2 or this has all been a scam lol. I expected a lot more, same goes for AouBoom and MarcPawin, who I was hoping would maybe get a comeback show. Also PondPhuwin going from NLMG to this is.... a choice. Don't wanna judge too fast but the trailer made it seem like no effort went into this at all. Hoping for a better end result. .

The Trainee (🏳️‍🌈): Oh look!!! It's OffGun show number 6 lmao rip. I'm not gonna comment on this matter again, I guess they'll just be around forever and that's that lmao. But anyway I'm a little confused by this show, the premise seems fun but?? I have questions lol. I'm excited to see View and Piploy though and I'll just keep an open mind. .

Only Boo (🏳️‍🌈): How did we go from Only Friends to Only Boo lmao what a downgrade. I wanted an all-newbie BL and I'm excited to finally see some new faces but I guess I fooled myself into anticipating a setting that's not highschool lmao. This is another show that I'm clearly too old for but it's also the MSP of 2024 and that ended up being nicer than expected so maybe this will be the same. We shall see. .

Pluto (🏳️‍🌈 🌟): I'm 😭😭😭 This was such a huge surprise I'm still shook lmao. Namtan and Film is not only a couple I never expected in 432 years lmao but also a very strong combination in terms of acting and I'm SO into it. They're revisiting a plot about a disability which is still something I'm dreading about Last Twilight so I guess it comes down to the director again. Let's hope they do it justice. Also the twin story could be tricky, I'm getting some Not Me vibes plot-wise but regardless the trailer looks super interesting to me, also Ciize and Kapook?? YES please. I'm so hyped for this!!!! 🥺 .

On Sale (🌟): Ghostbusters but make it TayNew? I love it lol this looks so fun, I'm very intrigued. I wasn't a huge fan of New before but he climbed up the ladder with The Warp Effect real fast because he undeniably excels at playing awkward goofy characters and this looks like another chance for him to showcase that lol. Him and Tay have always worked better as a comedic duo for me so I'm actually excited that this will be more of a bromance situation lol. Also Mook and Jan are excellent additions so I will be watching this for sure!! .

Ossan's Love Thailand (🏳️‍🌈, remake): I have very mixed feelings about this, I have not seen the original show but from what I've gathered, this does not seem fitting for EarthMix, also is it really necessary to remake another Japanese BL? But this is coming from someone who's not exactly a JBL connoisseur so I guess I'm biased. It seems that after MLC they became enthusiastic about the idea of casting EM in more mature roles which I endorse very much but aren't the people in the OG literally 40 💀 idk I'm curious to see what they make of it and also if we will ever get to see a trailer because we all know how that went with Cherry Magic lol. oh well. .

My Golden Blood (🏳️‍🌈🌟): Well well well. what do we have here. This is for sure the biggest surprise since Be My Favorite lmao I can't believe Gawin is bringing yet another retired BL actor back from the dead and this time it's supernatural kjdhgd. The vampire genre is something I never thought GMMTV would take on but like?? I'm excited?? I'm so happy to see my boy Gawin in another main role and Joss is such an interesting partner but he fits the genre very well imo lol. Also Neo and Mond?? I'm so ready. Hoping for a release around Halloween next year for obvious reasons lol ✌🏻 .

Kidnap (?): Another show another confusion lmao this looks like Double Savage 2.0 to me, Ohm is caught in another mafia situation but this time not with his brother but with someone who's either a bro or a 💖 bro 💖 lmao but this smells like bromance to me. Ohm would never. And besides that I'm not really intrigued. next. .

Summer Night: This is kinda strange because everything about this seems like a BL but... it's not? the first 30 seconds had me convinced PhuwinDunk were gonna be the new thing on the block lmao but yeah apparently not. If I squint my eyes I would think this is Hidden Agenda 2 but with more girls lol and tbh I expected another JD series but regardless the plot seems a bit generic to me so I'm on the fence about it for now. .

Wandee Goodday (🏳️‍🌈): This looks like the Walmart version of Only Friends tbh but guess what I'm on board lmao. It's AllThis Entertainment's new project which means no Eclipse Season 2 (thank god). Great and Inn are a pair I did not see coming and tbh I did not expect Great to even take on a BL role to begin with but I'm intrigued! The director has been moving on a vast spectrum of different genres lately and this is another one that's completely different from their previous works. But I'm excited. It looks kinky and violent. perfect. .

Highschool Frenemy: All I'm seeing is people beating each other up and calling each other friends afterwards so yeah. not my thing. next. .

My Love Mix-Up (🏳️‍🌈, remake): I'm not a huge fan of this, not just because I didn't like the original but because I was hoping to see GemFourth in a different setting. I'm confident they can do it justice though and deliver a good outcome, especially regarding the comedy, but other than that this isn't going on my watchlist for now. .

conclusion: this was a wild rollercoaster lol, every trailer was a stressful game of Het, Gay or Bromance lmao - The majority of this lineup was not to my liking but then again I appreciated the variety because from puppy love highschool romance to gay vampires is a spectrum you really can't complain about lmao. My 2 highlights for now are Pluto and My Golden Blood simply because they're both a massive surprise that they kept very well hidden lol, I'm also intrigued by Wandee Goodday and Ploy's Yearbook because those have great ensemble casts.

One thing I'm missing from the BL lineup though is a genuine romance, something that's deep and genuine and more mature. What they announced seems fun but for the most part either silly or drowned out by 32 couples at the same time lol. so I really hope we will get something a little more serious that also talks about lgbt issues in part 2; Something like Be My Favorite would be nice, maybe minus the supernatural element.

I did not expect them to announce 15 series already, considering this is only part 1 so who knows what part 2 will bring. I'm expecting FK to make an appearance as well as PerthChimon since they are the only 2 couples that have not shown up, also possibly JoongDunk because I can't imagine they would separate them just yet. Looking forward to December! ✌🏻

Don't hesitate to drop your thoughts below! 🧡

xxx

[poetryandbloods-blog]

I have seen you reblog and like some of my HP posts so I wanted to say Hi!

And I have a question for you. I know you love Drastoria so I wanted to ask what you love about it? I never read CC so I don't know Astoria well but the little I do know, I am not very impressed. I just have a lot of small hangups about Drastoria.

What initially drew you to it? Why do you think she is a good match for Draco? How do you feel about Astoria dying off? Are there things you dislike about the ship?

Hi, I really like your Tumblr!

First of all, I have to say that I don't like CC and I don't consider it canon, because it wasn't written by J.K.R., and also mainly because most of the characters are completely different from the personalities in the original books, including the Epilogue, so blatantly that not even age can be an excuse (I always wonder how much money they offered her to sign on for that atrocious story).

That said, I do like some of the characters there, particularly *Delphini*, Draco, Scorpius, and Astoria.When J.K.R. described who Draco married (a pureblood witch who rejects her upbringing and raises her son in a much more tolerant way, I fell in love with Astoria). And Scorpius is a captivating character who demonstrates a loving upbringing.

Astoria permeates CC like Lily should have permeated the books (but unfortunately she only appears at the end). The two seem like a functioning, adult couple who love each other and have overcome many obstacles (like Draco's questionable upbringing) to be together.

If you like Dramione or have read any of his fanfics, you will notice that they always follow this pattern (the girl who makes the former villain realize that his upbringing was not ideal).

Astoria was clearly not fragile if she stood up to her in-laws and didn't let her pureblood ideas contaminate her son.I think Dramione is more popular than Drastoria simply because we don't know about her in the books, Hermione is an important character in the story and the muggleborn/pureblood thing has more appeal than two purebloods together (I'm not knocking this couple, because there are great stories about both of them and Draco's development is often wonderful to read, I just want to point out that according to J.K.R., this development existed and we can prove it in CC).

I hate the blood curse thing and that she died, to me it was a form of punishment for Draco where a supposed villain can't really have a happy ending, and it's something I personally tend to ignore.Another point is that to me their relationship feels mature and healthy, in a way that the other couples in the books never did. I've said a few times that I hate Ginny/Harry (Ginny in book 6 is a walking Mary Sue) and Ron/Hermione seem like a hot couple that would break up after two months of dating.

But I'm going to give them a break here because when it comes to romance J.K.R. is not a good writer and her most believable couples are the ones we don't follow as much (Fleur/Bill and Tonks/Lupin, I'm thinking of you).

We don't have 7 books to learn about her, just a script for a play that reads like a really bad fanfic, but over the years I've created my own idea of ​​who she is and how this couple works, so much so that I've become very attached to both of them. @blvnk-art makes incredible drawings of the two of them (which I love to follow) which only made me like them even more.

They, along with Fleur/Bill and Lucius/Narcissa, are the only couples I have no criticism of in the books, as they seem very consistent together.

**I actually need to make an addendum here, I like the idea of ​​Delphini, but not the execution of the story or her personality, there was a huge potential to make her a parallel to her own father (orphan, unaware of his origins), but with a choice for the good, proving that blood is not always more important, but this was clearly wasted, or of course it could not be done, as it could affect the epilogue of the original books (but now I digress, as this has no point with the original question).**

[cactusspatz]

October recs

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Be safe, eat well, have fun, and read some fic during your food coma! I've got three Steve/Eddie fics for Stranger Things, and an assortment of Queen's Thief fics because Yuletide always sends me down the small fandoms rabbit hole.

STRANGER THINGS

blood between your teeth by rednights

The first time Eddie sees Steve Harrington with his face smashed in, he’s at the corner store off 6th Street choosing a frozen meal to bring home.

Really great AU where Eddie keeps running into badly-injured Steve after each season's big fight. This author writes them beautifully, in all their dorky, pining, good-hearted, accidental-hero glory.

His Majesty’s Jester by GreenQueenofClubs

The thing was, these popular types, the Royalty of High School Society? They just wanted to be entertained. They wanted something to break though the dull monotony of life at the top of the food chain, and if nothing happened to catch their interest, they made their own fun. Good thing Eddie was unparalleled at keeping little sheeps entertained.

Exactly the kind of over-dramatic thing Eddie would do to protect his friends, and I loved how he slowly figures out that Steve is a good guy (and then falls for him, obvs).

wishbone by greatunironic

"Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be." Stories with, about, or for Stephanie Harrington, basketball star + babysitter.

The first story is a really hot PWP before the big S4 battle, and the second is a lovely Wayne outsider-POV while Eddie is in the hospital.

QUEEN'S THIEF

Fist Fights and Fan Fiction: The Complicated Legacy of Eugenides & Irene by eponymiad

Who doesn't know Shakespeare's most famous romance, Eugenides & Irene? Shakespeare pulled his story from the real Eugenides the Great and Attolia Irene, a king and queen who reigned over what is now modern-day Ephestalia. Shakespeare’s fictionalization told a grand—if deeply fraught—love story, but the real life Eugenides and Irene’s love story is hotly debated by academics and the chronically online alike. Nowhere is this clearer than the talk page of the “Attolia (country)” Wikipedia article, where debates about whether Eugenides and Irene were ever truly in love have raged on since the site’s inception. We dug into why this long-dead couple inspired such controversial historical takes and found ourselves neck deep in academic fist fights, fanfiction, and the weirdest plot twist about my own past.

I love a good faux-academia story, and this canon is a perfect choice for that kind of outsider POV.

verisimilitude by jediseagull

A message, a fight, a question, an answer; or, a year after the war, Costis navigates court politics and the secrets that aren't.

Fantastic Costis POV as he tries to be a good friend even when his king is baffling.

There and Back Again by ama (Costis/Kamet)

After delivering his report to Eugenides, Costis goes home to visit his family. He wrestles with the new person he has become since he saw them last, the secrets he should reveal and the ones he can't, and his uncertain relationship with Kamet, who probably hates him. And looming over all of it is the king's mysterious suggestion about a ship he may or may not be taking to Roa.

Excellent look at Costis's side of that separation in TAT.

reaching home by sassaffrassa

"The king lifted a hand to her cheek and kissed her. It was not a kiss between strangers, not even a kiss between a bride and a groom. It was a kiss between a man and his wife, and when it was over, the king closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the hollow of the queen’s shoulder, like a man seeking respite, like a man reaching home at the end of the day."

Incredible fanart based on the above passage from KOA, and clearly inspired by that one play poster that Tumblr loves.

[bookofmirth]

I’m fairly new to the acotar fandom. Read all the books in January, and am curious as to Elain and Lucien pairing. So he’s her mate, but they’ve never had any interaction with each other until she was forcibly turned into Fae. It’s also been stated in the book that mated pairs are not always the right choice and the bond can be rejected. So why shouldn’t she reject the bond?

Hello! I hope your time in the fandom thus far has been enjoyable. Use that block button liberally though, that's my advice to you lol

This is an interesting question and it’s related to something I’ve been thinking about lately. However, imo the fandom, or some people in the fandom, are approaching this question in the wrong way. So my short answer is:

The real question we should be asking is why will Elain accept it? Because by making Elain and Lucien mates, sjm has already told us they are endgame.

You could stop reading there and get the gist of this whole post, but my longer answer explains why that’s the real question. I'm actually going to put the rest under the cut since it got long. Also to make it harder for the people I've blocked but still stalk me to read my post *finger guns*

Sjm uses the mating bond to tell us which couples were always meant to be together and will be endgame. Any time we learn about a mating bond with main characters, everything clicks into place and we know that that’s it. That’s that, it’s endgame, no more questions or messing around. That’s how the fandom viewed elucien from the moment that acomaf came out. It was a moment of “oh, that’s where she’s going, sounds good then!” It wasn’t until much later that some people got into their feelings about Mor and Lucien and Elain and Az and decided they’d prefer something different. But what a reader wants and what the writer intends are two different things, and because she made Elain and Lucien mates, it’s clear what she intends.

I've made a post about why it's important that the bond can be rejected, which is here, but the tl;dr is that if you know it can be rejected, then the characters still have some semblance of choice and it also creates much needed tension - in every romance novel, you know who is getting together, you just don't know how they will overcome their obstacles. For Elain and Lucien, the mating bond actually serves as an obstacle to their relationship that they have to figure out how to deal with. It's creating a lot of tension for them, which sjm said they will experience.

The thing I’ve been thinking about lately is which came first, the chicken or the egg, where the ship is the chicken and the mating bond is the egg. I think we can answer this one, though. Given the number of mates she writes and the fact that her characters go through multiple relationships before they get there, the ship comes first. She has even said that she when she writes, she decides what relationships are going to happen, and then she figures out how to get there.

(this is from here, thank you @yazthebookish Yazzy)

So that’s where the mating bond comes in. Sarah decides on the ship first, before anything to do with the world or plot, and the mating bond is one of the tools to get them there. The mating bond is honestly just incidental.

It's not that Sarah decides to make characters mates and then decides if they will stay together. She makes them mates because they will stay together.

Could this change? Sure. Do we have every single main character pairing being mated to make us feel pretty confident that this will remain the case? Yeah. I think it's also important to note that every example we have of an awkward or wrong mating bond is with extremely minor characters (save one example in hosab which is clearly, clearly being painted as a horrible shitty thing, and nothing like what Elain and Lucien are experiencing now, but even then it's side characters).

When sjm told us in acomaf that Elain and Lucien are mates, she was telling us that they are endgame. It’s as simple as that and she’s not a subtle writer. After that happened, she talked about them as a couple at book events because she was like “hey they all know, cat's out of the bag! Clearly I intend for them to be together so I can talk about it.” (I tried to find my post with all the screenshots but the tumblr search function SUCKS. If anyone else can find it I will love you forever.) Here is one post with a screenshot thank you @the-lonelybarricade!

Okay here is the post that has the best breakdown of what sjm has said re: Lucien, Elain, and being mates

I think it’s an interesting conversation to have, why would or should someone reject or accept a mating bond, hypothetically. But in reality, this is how sjm works. So maybe the question of why Elain should reject or accept the bond is an interesting one to ponder, but you don’t see those conversations about nessian and feysand (or rowaelin, or quinlar, or Kallias and Viviane, or anyone else) because we know what the mating bond means. So to me, those questions are interesting in the context of looking at the mating bond as a trope, as it's used by many many authors, but we already know what it means when sjm uses it. On a related note, here is a post with all the ways that characters think/speak about the mating bond in acotar. It's clearly a positive thing, and sjm has no intentions of writing it in a way that would lessen its importance, because that would then lessen the magic of when Feyre finds out about Rhys, and when Nesta struggles to accept that she has one with Cassian.

I think it's interesting to note that any time a character wonders if they have a mating bond, or expects to find out about it any day, they are wrong. Feyre wondered when hers and Tamlin's would show up, Rhys tells us that Az had been waiting for one with Mor, apparently now he's wondering that re: Elain, Lucien was waiting for his with Jesminda, and in ToG Aelin wonders if she has one with Chaol, or had one with Sam. None of those turned out well, though. (thank you @fracturedarkness and @highqueenmorrigan for helping me remember who did this. <3)

To your question though, I do think it would be an interesting thing to explore if Elain did reject the bond, or if Lucien did, and then what their relationship would be like afterwards. Lucien is still Feyre's friend and working with the Night Court. Elain is still living in the NC. It's not as if they would never see each other again, but they will always have the bond between them, even if they officially reject it. It'd be interesting to see how their relationship (platonic, romantic, whatever) developed without the pressure that the mating bond presents, but as it is, the mating bond is creating that tension for them. Which is tension that sjm said they will have in the freaking screenshots I can't find.

For me, them being mated is just a sign from the author that they are supposed to be endgame, and then the rest of it is us trying to figure out how that is going to happen, what it will look like.

Okay sorry this got really long, and tbh it doesn't need to be because I think that sjm is very clear in her intentions and we all know this, which is why you don't see people questioning the other mating bonds in the series, and why you see people trying to explain that canon facts are actually a huge conspiracy theory.

[kiss-my-freckle]

Perhaps Delena is lust-driven, or perhaps Stelena would've had as much sex as Delena if not for Stefan's desire to eat Elena every time they climbed into bed together. Perhaps it's good for Stefan to respect Elena's choices, or perhaps it's good that Damon challenges her choices. Perhaps it's good to fix flaws, and perhaps it's good to embrace them for what they are. Perhaps Damon and Stefan are written the way they are so that both are equally liked and equally hated.

Ship wars are hilarious to me because shippers never view the full picture. They just hate what they wanna hate. I recently came across some Damon-hating posts, and I'm like... wow, fans only accept half the truth and completely disregard the other half.

The first issue on their list, is the fact that Damon rubbed Isobel's death in Alaric's face and hurt Elena's feelings in the process. They're obviously referring to 1x15. They completely ignore Stefan's side of the episode because it clearly makes them feel better. Never mind the fact that Alaric assumed Damon doesn't love, thus, doesn't get depressed. Never mind the fact that Alaric didn't think for one minute that perhaps watiing a bit to get answers about his dead wife would've been better because Damon might be mourning his own loss. Never mind the fact that Stefan didn't think to explain this to Alaric. Never mind the fact that Alaric was being quiet about his problem with Damon while Stefan questioned Damon about Isobel. Never mind the fact that in taking Stefan's advice, Alaric made himself look like a coward, solely reliant on Stefan to get answers from Damon about his own dead wife. Same for Elena. Never mind the fact that Stefan didn't think to tell Damon that Alaric's wife is Elena's mother. Never mind the fact that Stefan didn't think to tell Elena that Damon killed Alaric's wife. Never mind the fact that Damon and Alaric and Elena have no problem working together while Stefan is being tortured by Frederick. Damon AND Stefan AND Alaric AND Elena are to blame for what happened in 1x15. It's that simple. Never assume shit AND always get the whole story. A point Damon makes every time he tells Elena she doesn't have the entire story.

Like I said, perhaps Damon and Stefan are written the way they are so that both are equally liked and equally hated. Trust me, if Damon were as shitty as Stefan stans would like to believe, he wouldn't have so many stans. If Stefan were as shitty as Damon stans would like to believe, he wouldn't have so many stans. That's why I don't bother with ship wars. I vent on my own page so that people can accept what they read or scroll the fuck past it. I've never seen so many childish fans sitting in one place, but that's basically what I see on reddit.

[muskmelon-enjoyer-199x]

CW: trauma and teen titan shipping under the cut

kinda the deep lore here but there was a point in my life where shipping teen titans characters was intensely important to me

the terra season destroyed my 8 year old brain. Like, I had cutesy dreams about this stuff for YEARS. It was so important to me. It was serious business (although I now have to question my choice of Terra x Beast Boy). My ships were everything to me.

I wish I could still have dreams like that. I have scary sexual dreams a lot of the time. Sometimes I wake up screaming or I thrash around hard enough that I need to be forcibly woken up. The best sleep I have is when I'm using drugs or I'm physically exhausted, because then I don't dream.

It's hard to remember the last time I had a dream that didn't involve nonconsensual sex, violence, or people in my life betraying me. It's been that way for many years. It's the same situations over and over, but with different faces each time. Sometimes the situations seem true to my memory but faceswapped, and sometimes they seem more like their own self-contained stories that hit the same themes.

I guess my brain is replaying traumas, but I don't really remember all the details of things so well. A lot of my worst memories are from when I was on antipsychotics (for mood swings and "gender identity disorder"), and those years are very blurry. I can't remember a lot of my childhood clearly anymore at all, and I've read that can happen on those meds.

I don't usually talk about that much because people act weird. They say everyone feels that way or assume you mean like television-style amnesia. It's different, though. It's like a there is a dense fog and I can't always organize my thoughts. I can remember a lot of events, but the details are very hazy. I can see things happening in my mind's eye, but I can't see the faces. I often remember up to a point, and then it's an abrupt cutoff. I can't remember any more after those cutoffs. It's weird!

The last not-awful dream i can remember is this one where I could move my arms and legs like I was swimming in the air, except I could only go up or down. I had to pogo in different directions to get around. In some ways, I'm free. I can explore the Y axis with few limitations, but at the cost of having my other movements limited. If I stop swimming while exploring the sky, I start dropping fast. It's scary, and I have to be careful and try to break my fall. Eventually, I hit the ground hard and wake up in a cold sweat. It used to be a frequent recurring dream for me, but not lately.

I never really thought about the meaning of it too much, but it is interesting now that I type it out. That's kinda how being trans feels. I can explore my own gender how I please, but with outside limitations. I can swim and swim and be free as a woman, but it's exhausting to maintain and dangerous not to maintain.

When I was reallt sick, I never had dreams. My body was too weak and I was always on the verge of passing out. That was one of the things I liked about it, though. It destroyed my libido and made me stop having dreams.

It makes me kind of sad to say that I have starved and self-medicated and exhausted myself on purpose to kill my own dreams. I wish it wasn't that way. I'm just so tired of night terrors. It is so hard not sleeping through the night, especially when I keep finding myself screaming or writhing around fighting nothing or walking up drowning in sweat or covered in piss.

I think my last therapist was right and that I need PTSD treatment, but I don't want to go. I don't trust the psychiatrists. I don't want them to offer me any more pills. I don't want anyone to try to pressure me into letting them beam magnets through my skull again. I don't want to do EMDR exercises. What if they break me more?

Im watching teen titans again. I want to feel like the little girl I was in the 2000s, when I was just a little boy that played with girls and got called faggot a lot.

Im so angry they gave her antipsychotics. What the fuck? They say they were trying their best to help and that was just the way things were handled at the time, but it feels fake. They just want me to get over it on command or pretend to be normal and successful. I don't feel better when my problems are downplayed or blamed on me, though. I just feel worse every time it happens, and I fall off the "mostly-functioning adult" wagon for weeks at a time when it's my mom saying it (again).

Idk. I really want to be the girl I was before everything happened. I desperately want to be her again. I would do all kinds of crazy and illegal things just to be her again and have a chance to grow up on my own terms. I want to be that little girl so badly, but I don't know how to feel that way ever again

I feel like I never fully grew up fully, but I also feel like I grew up really fast at the same time

I feel so alone all the time. I tell people about these things and sometimes the only people who really relate are the really messy trans women that doomscroll on imageboards.

What does that say about me?

Should I go to treatment and just hope they don't make me any messier?

It's such a mess

Sloppy typing. Sorry.

[voxofthevoid]

i shall ask once more. \o/ 12, 26, 39 (is there another snippet in stock, void-sama?) and 55! <3

Welcome back 💚

List of questions here

(I should start keeping a list of things people call me on Tumblr...)

12. How does receiving or not receiving feedback/support impact you?

Like I said in response to another of these questions, I am not immune to having expectations...which have admittedly been skewed by hanging around in MCU/stucky (guys, you spoiled me).

Receiving feedback makes me happy, often derangedly happy. There's that simple pleasure in sharing something I made—something I put a lot of time, effort, and joy into—and seeing it have an effect on other people. There's a reason I reread my comments (and Tumblr tags, when applicable) a zillion times.

Not receiving it is predictably disappointing, though the intensity varies a lot with my level of investment in the fandom/ship and, more importantly, the particular story. You know those jokes about how the fics we work most on and are most proud of tend to be less well received than something we throw together in a hurry? Yeah, that's always an...interesting experience.

What feedback doesn't affect is whether I write or what I write. This wasn't the case until last year or so, but now, nearly everything I post is already fully written and being posted on a monthly schedule. It spares me from being discouraged in the middle of writing a fic. Similarly, darkfic tends to not be as popular as fluff or even hurt/comfort, but literally nothing else sparks up my brain like some gourmet fuckery, so nothing's going to make me stop writing those stories.

...holy shit, that got long.

26. Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

THE FUCKING KIDNAPPING FIC

I cannot tell you how weird/wild it is that this thing unraveled the way it did. I know I post a lot of multichapters for JJK, but I don't really consider them multichaps as such. More like...six-shots or something (don't ask). I was content poking at porny bits of canon divergence scenarios.

And then @nearalways asked one(1) question: What'd have happened if Yuuji had chosen not to be Sukuna's host when Gojou tells him to choose his hell? We'd also been talking a lot about how dead-eyed and done Yuuji looked in most of his middle school-era flashbacks. Long story very short, I wrote a 119k answer that has done irreparable damage to my sanity and irrevocably changed how I write Gojou in particular.

39. Share a snippet from a WIP

I always have snippets! Especially since I've got some...300k of JJK fic I haven't even posted yet. You can find it under the cut.

55. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

Yuuji, hands down. The whole reason I'm even in this fandom is because I adore that kid. I haven't been this fascinated by a shonen MC in ages. Me being me, this does mean I put him through unimaginable horrors though!

And no, not at all. You, uh, might notice that I tend to be very set in my opinions 😂

Snippet here:

Yuuji yanks at the hand pinning him down.

There’s a moment where it works. Gojou’s fingers loosen, and his whole rhythm falters, and Yuuji almost, almost frees himself, wholly intent on flipping them over, but then there’s a soft breath of laughter, and a second hand clamps down on the wrist Yuuji has nearly wrenched free.

He makes a furious final attempt, throwing the whole of his strength into it, but this time, Gojou’s hold doesn’t waver for even a second. He’s grinning down at Yuuji, the devil on his lips.

“Devious,” Gojou tells him; it sounds like a compliment. “You’ve grown stronger, Yuuji—much, much stronger.”

And that sounds like pure sex.

Yuuji’s hips buck up helplessly, and Gojou bears down against him, pinning him there too.

“Clearly,” Yuuji hisses through clenched teeth, “not enough.”

“I’m a different kind of beast,” Gojou says easily. His eyes grow heavy-lidded. “But one day soon, Yuuji, you’ll be able to hurt me. Really hurt me. Won’t that be fun?”

Yuuji’s brain is abruptly yanked away from his dick and shoved back into his skull. “What? No! I don’t want that!”

“Of course you do,” Gojou says, laughing. “You will. It’s alright. I’ll let you.”

“Gojou-sensei—”

“But that’s for later. What do you want right now, Yuuji?”

“You,” Yuuji says incredulously, a thousand meanings packed into that one word.

Gojou’s eyes narrow, a different kind of heat than the look he shot Yuuji before. “Don’t cop out on me now. What were you going to do, Yuuji?”

“Fucking—” Yuuji lifts his head just to slam it down on the mattress; it’s not satisfying at all. “I want to fucking touch you! What else!”

“Cute,” Gojou says, his smile growing wider and more unhinged at Yuuji’s growl. “Where, Yuuji? How? I’ve only been gone for nineteen days, but you already forgot the game. I trained you better than this.”

[escapismqueen]

Hey it's been a while since I've been on I saw that you recently made a new Jelly video I was about to watch it but seeing you upload it made me miss them. I still don't know if I'll watch season 3 sure I want to see the amazing love of the Jelly dating era but I know Jenny is going to ruin it like she did in the books they're going to character assassinate Jeremiah (even though he was the best part of the books not going to lie.) I hope she changes things and makes them endgame all we need is for them to stay together I need to see Belly fight for him more. Give me the Belly we saw in the finale where she was willing to leave Conrad there and go with Jeremiah. I don't need the toxic ship that the books had this is 2024 how people are still stanning the boring man Conrad I can never imagine he still hasn't been called out for his lies. Jeremiah didn't really have anyone on his side but Taylor I love her for that while Steven was a fake friend sure he wasn't that great in season 1 with him not wanting Belly to be with Jere but he's totally fine with Conrad after everything he's done?

Omg yes to all of this !!! Honestly I’ve been thinking about the way the show will end a lot lately and I just don’t see how making it a bonrad endgame would be a good thing. I’ve not read the books but I’ve listened to moments in the audio books here and there and the changes that were made from them to the show is so apparent and purposeful to me. Changes that make me go ‘why would Jenny change this unless she wanted to go for a different endgame this time’.

A lot of people say to me ‘yeah but in the books-‘ I don’t care. I love reading and I love books and clearly these books mean a lot to people but the show is not the books. The characters that we’ve seen on screen are not identical to the ones people read in the books. When you go in blind, not having read the books previously, you go in without a bias, which is important. The Conrad that we get in the show does not treat belly with the respect that she deserves. She even mentions at one point that he ‘gives and then takes away’ that’s toxic. The way he talks to her a lot of the time is honestly really rude, like calling her a baby and mocking her for knowing things about him. So much of his behaviour is a straight up red flag and so many Conrad stans tune a blind eye to it simply because they love book Conrad- which by the way, from what I’ve seen- WHY.

Jeremiah treats belly with respect. He’s there whenever she needs someone, he makes her happy and laugh and doesn’t make her question their relationship. She feels secure when she’s with Jere, when she’s with Conrad, she’s always on edge and she worried- it’s not healthy. Jere even put aside his own feelings because he loves both his brother and belly and at the end of the day wanted them to be happy, but belly chose jere. It would be beyond stupid now to have her go an change her mind AGAIN and get back with Conrad. And if one more person tells me what jere does in the third book, I’ll scream, because that is not show jere and making his character do that in the show would be the most ooc choice.

I’m sick of shows romanticising toxic behaviour. Just because belly fell in love with Conrad first, does not mean that she doesn’t love jere any less or that she will always love Conrad. People grow, people change, and she’s not a child anymore. Conrad is the guy you go through to learn a lesson, and grow from it and learn your worth. Jeremiah is the guy who makes you realise that you’re exactly who you need to be and that you’re lovable in whatever form you take. That’s what real love shows somebody.

[longeyelashedtragedy]

Have you already been asked for Deki?

nope! the Orange Guy (as he's been called lol) in my icon! thanks Anon for providing me with what's clearly going to be my most controversial post 🤪 (i don't know if i've ever used this emoji before, what a historic day)

favorite thing about them: it's gotta be his loyalty to the people he loves. sometimes it's even to the point of stupidity, or "you didn't have to do that." but i've never seen anything quite to his level of devotion and committment. all heart ZERO brain on this man. not one brain cell. it's all in the heart.

he's also really hilarious* and like. kinsey 7. nothing will convince me this man is not 100% gay and only married because he's a religious catholic.

(*i don't like most "comedy" because i have an odd sense of humor, and if i want to have a laugh, i'll more often than not put on some liverpool movren content because of how genuinely fucking funny they are together. i always wind up laughing out loud. standup comedians WISH they were movren however he is also funny on his own, albeit sometimes unintentionally...i think)

last--his appearance, duhhh. if i could look like a man i'd want to look like him, this is a known fact. he's got just the right vibe of strong, confident masculinity and the fucking shoulder/back/arm situation is 🔥

least favorite thing about him: ...do you hear me heaving a heavy sigh? lol. i won't go into the graphic details, but the amount of time i've spent being his pro bono defense attorney when it's not deserved! (some things are also not worthy of defending.)

i remember there was a post a while back that said something like "whatever your special interest was at the beginning of the pandemic is always going to have a weird level of significance to you." and at first i was like doesnt apply to me--football was my thing before the pandemic, and it still is. but then i remembered that the pandemic hit just as i was developing an interest in this fool 😂 i guess that explains everything.

favorite line: HOW DO I CHOOSE????? he's so quotable. he also once responded to one of my questions on an insta takeover--he only chose 3 twitter questions and i'm convinced he picked mine because my display name at the time was "Monlyfans" lmao. maybe on one of his lajvs with šime when he was like "who are all these people on instagram pretending to be me????" and šime was like "they're fanpages" or the classic on his southampton twitter takeover, "Peter Crouch is so tall OMG". orrr on his twitter q&a two years ago, when someone asked "your wife or Mo?" and he went "don't make me choose..."

brotp: oh it's gotta be him chilling with Domo, even though tbh. he's so GAY to me that most dudes he talks to make me wanna ship it, lol. i kind of liked him with timo at zenit...oh and when he was gay mentoring dalerka and mostovoy, who seemed to do very well with his teachings (RIP kustovoy)

notp: hmmm. deki x trashy american right wing culture, lmao

otp: it's always that impossible choice of šejan vs movren. they're both so different. something about movren really gets me because i think it has a lot of layers of depth that is not discussed, and i love the contrast especially toward the end of their time together at liverpool, of like global beloved star vs 4th choice center-back on the bench, and how dej had not one ounce of jealousy or resentment toward mo...Idk that's just quite special

random headcanon: i don't think i have one.

unpopular opinion: sigh...i've expressed this before and am Weary...but the lockdown fucked him up hard and he absolutely never recovered mentally. and that just makes me feel bad. you don't have to! but i do and i'm glad that i do. maybe it could have all been different yknow? especially because i've seen similar things happen to people i'm close to in real life.

song i associate with them: well, aside from 'sin pijama' lol...i only really associate songs with him because of my movren fanmix (only time i've ever made a good fanmix for a football ship! and as i've said, it's a very 'i liked the movie Garden State too much when i was a teenager' fanmix lol (guilty as charged)) (lmk if you want me to link it somewhere) some of them are more "mo," some are "dejan," and some are a mix. i'd say the dejan ones are:

-moment's silence (common tongue) by hozier: singing boldly about oral sex and the catholic church? that tracks.

-the only living boy in new york by simon & garfunkel: uh the gayest and most loving song alive? but also the story behind it makes me think of what i said about movren earlier--the "flop" being just so happy for the star. (not saying paul simon is more of a "flop" than art garfunkel LOL but the idea of him writing a song for his friend going down to mexico to be in a movie, and just being affectionate and proud about it! idk!)

favorite picture of them: ahhh...how about:

also this from ligue 1 for the LOLS 😂 if i had a deki rainbow jersey i'd never take it off

[babygirltangerine]

I don't know, what exactly I hate about ladybug. I think it's the way he acts, and how everything always seems too go tight for him because he's the "funny American guy".

you're so right for that. like for real. but i also feel like things tend to go wrong for him, but they end up okay because he's the protagonist. and we're supposed to see him around these awesome badass characters and laugh because the contrast is so intense and he's clearly a bad choice of protag, and that's meant to be his charm (obviously a very bold choice). i do find it endearing a lot of the time, but it's definitely very important to question why he was made to be american and how his americanness affects the story, the way he interacts with the other characters and the environment. in a way i think his americanness is meant to add to his characterization as a very clueless person and as a protagonist that's out of his element in more ways than one. but at the same time it was a very tone deaf decision when the story and the characters are originally japanese. i don't think it was intentional, but regardless, making ladybug into a white american man who absentmindedly wreaks havoc on these other characters of color (and eventually multiple trains and an entire fucking town!!) and is one of the few survivors does seem to be uplifting american voices and perspectives and presences and you do have to look into the implications of that. so you're right to be annoyed with him!! this post hits on a lot of things that i'm talking about and that you seem to have picked up on, and i want to reiterate that you're incredibly valid for feeling that way, and you don't have to change your mind about it!

back to your initial fic-related question, i'm not sure if there are any fics that can change the way you feel, but a lot of people tend to write ladybug as a more fleshed out character who doesn't seem to begin and end with this clueless american ignorance. ladybug is interesting because i feel like he has a great basis to expand on in fanon, and in fics he can be silly and misguided and make the wrong moves with his heart in the right place, but i also see a lot of fics where he genuinely has grown a lot since the events of the movie and he's more emotionally intelligent after taking his therapy more seriously. those are the kinds of fics i like to see because i do feel that he doesn't really grow enough in the movie.

so he is more fleshed out in fanon, he's less caricature-ish and his americanness is less in your face. but that being said, its also important to acknowledge that as fanon (and tangybug fic in particular) tries to avoid characterizing ladybug as orientalist, it tends to do so by cutting out japanese characters and japanese culture entirely. movie ladybug can be read as this extremely american, sillygoofy white man who, even without meaning to, creates conflict along racial lines. and one of the reasons we don't tend to read him that way in tangybug fics is because his whiteness and his westernness become less of a source of contrast between him and the other characters, because tangybug fics are romance stories between a white american man and a white british man. i dont want to sound like im bashing the creators in this small fandom because i completely understand not wanting to write an orientalist character, and also because im so extremely grateful for everything these creators have poured their heart and energy into providing for us. we have amazing fan-created content here. and i'm one of the champions of the tangybug ship, but the content i've made for this fandom is not above critique either! these are just points that naturally arise in a fandom for a movie like bullet train.

tl/dr: you're right and you don't have to stop feeling that way! but you can enjoy ladybug/bullet train while criticizing it at the same time. in tangybug fics, these problems with ladybug's white americanness are often less pronounced, but the fandom is not above critique either. still, i hope you're able to find a balance somewhere between being aware of the flaws with ladybug/fanon/the movie in general and your enjoyment of these things!

[jxckyx3]

Hi!

A lot of personal stuff has happened lately and I dunno if I'll be able to post as much. Regardless, I'll try my best to keep working on chapters so when I DO get chances to post, I'll have stuff ready.

This goes for all my socials, such as Instagram, Tumblr, yada yada.

Like I've said many times, money here is a struggle and God knows how much I hate our landlord, as he likes to complain and bitch about rent and what not.

Surprise, surprise, -not- he's giving us a date till we hav'ta leave our damn house. Nothing too fuckin surprising. 🙄

Anyways, on a less serious note, here's a couple shot instead of a harem, and I hope you guys like it!!

(⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)

💜🖤💜

__________________________________

Ship: Nogla x Brian

Top: Brian

Bottom: Nogla

AU: /

Setting: /

Type: Fluff / Smut

Warning ⚠️: The chapter you're about to read contains heavy swearing, mention of homophobia, rough sex, praise kink, degrading, pain kink, sexual themes/acts, consumption of alcohol, dirty talk, drunk sex, sleep sex  and other mentions or situations that may disturb, trigger or offend the viewer. Reader's discretion is advised. 🔞

__________________________________

Third pov -

Brian and Nogla were close. No doubt about it. The two got along well—very well, in fact. For many reasons. There was the obvious ones; the two sharing the fact that they were Irish and the second reason being that they were very similar in character.

But there was always the unspoken reasons for their tight friendship.

They were always there when one needed comfort or just a person to talk to, they always had eachothers backs no matter what the situation was, and no matter how many fights and playful—or non playful— arguments they had, they always apologized and swept the brawl under the carpet.

As if they had no reason to stay mad at eachother. No matter the circumstances.

The two definitely had their own stronger connections with their other friends of course. But their own connection was one that they couldn't top.

They laughed at most of each other's jokes—even if at times Nogla was clueless on the matter—, they understood eachothers complex slang in words that always made them giggle with one another whenever the guys questioned them, and they completely accepted eachothers lifestyles and decisions.

For example; when Brian decided to work out everyday without a break, it made the guys worry that he would hurt himself by pushing too much for that healthy body structure he thrived for. Nogla was fine with it, and the guys questioned his opinion on the matter.

But months later, Brian was fine and in great shape. Better than what he was aiming for. Nogla had been smug that the guys worried over nothing.

Or the fact that Nogla ate junk food like he was the last man on planet earth and had all the rights to eat whatever he pleased. Like before, the guys told him it was a horrible idea, as Brian just waved it off like a funny joke.

Later it was found out, that Nogla didn't gain any weight from eating like a bear for weeks at end. If anything, he stayed the same lanky man he's always been. It was definitely surprising, and even more so that his blood sugar was of average.

The two trusted eachother what their own health, even if to the others their choices were questionable.

The two had a way of reading the situation with one another and always knew how to respond.

They were two peas in a pod. Absolutely inseparable.

And though they had a clear friendship, Brian always made jokes on how much he hated the other. He liked to dismiss all the comments that were of 'Friendship goals' or 'best dynamic duo'.

He liked to deny them. But David knew he was always joking no matter how serious he looked when saying it. Come on. They were clearly best friends since day one.

"I seriously hate you, Nogla." Brian would say. Wether it be because of something the other did to piss him off, or just to say it out of habit when running empty of jokes to say when he was lacking the comedic mood.

No matter what the reason was, Nogla would always respond lightly.

"I love ye too, Brian." He would smile and wave it off, earning laughs from their friends and curses from Brian.

However, long periods of time in friendship doesn't always stay the same. At least not in this case.

After years of their relationship, Nogla started to feel attracted to Brian.

It deeply confused him at first. Really, confused him.

He's always found Brian handsome and charming in how own way, yeah. With his quirky voice impressions and his contagious laugh that always got others to crack a smile when hearing his pig-like snorts.

Nogla knew Brian was an attractive guy. But he had never fallen for his ridiculous personality and cocky demeanor.

Or at least he thought he hadn't. He couldn't recall a time that he's even been nervous around the other.

So instead of confronting the situation head on, he brushed it off... But that didn't do much.

The more he hung out with the other, the more David realized, he wasn't just crushing. Oh no, he was madly in love.

With his best friend.

And he was scared of it. So unbelievably scared.

Brian was a person that he cared deeply for. More than he'd ever admit to anyone, or even himself. He's been through thick and thin with this man, and he could not- would not, ruin it.

In fear, he stayed closeted. Thinking his friends would judge him and the fans would hate him. Be disgusted by him. That Brian, would be disgusted by him.

Nogla could already see it happening. The harsh rejection from everyone and the undying thought that if he was found out, everything that he ever loved would vanish.

Everyone, that he even loved would vanish.

David couldn't stand the thought of that. The rejection, the fear, the anxiety. The hate.

So he kept it all bottled up, hoping to save his little weak heart.

He's had things like this happen before, but he couldn't go through it all over again. Not with his fans, not with his friends, not with Brian.

But as time carried on, it increasingly got worse.

The culprit himself wasn't making it any easier for the other Irishman, making it unbearable for him to hide it all.

Brian was always being touchy and flirty around David. They were jokes of course, and he's done them with everyone of their friends. It used to make Nogla uncomfortable and weirded out, and Brian liked to get that reaction out of him.

But that was all before Nogla fell for him. This time around, he wasn't disgusted by Brian or even cringing about how 'gay' he was acting. This time, Nogla was bothered. Hot and bothered.

He wouldn't allow Brian's teasing to get his hopes up, he wouldn't. But that didn't stop him from feeling excited because of it. Multiple times during these episodes he had whenever playing games, Nogla had to excuse himself for a glass of water, to cool himself down.

He's never touched himself at the thought of Brian. Oh God no, that would just be wrong. Instead, whenever Brian made him this way, he'd always wait it out.

He's never betray his friend in such a disgusting way.

But the teasing definitely made him crave Brian. It made him want to hold him, to be near him. To hear his voice next to him rather than through a shitty headset, because God knows how much sexier Brian's voice sounded in person.

And all Brian did, was add fuel to the already blazing fire, deep in Daithi's gut.

Nogla was glad his emotional craving was stronger than his sexual desire though.

But it was still annoying. More so than the touch starvation.

He wanted to hug Brian. To hold his hands. To kiss him, cuddle him, love him. Nogla wanted everything you could even think of when it came to a significant other.

His love for Brian was different than any love he's ever had, that's for sure. It was difficult dealing with these feelings. Especially since he trusted nobody enough to tell. And to make matters worse, the only person he could possibly trust with all the pent up frustration, was Brian, the man himself that he was trying to keep these feelings away from!

So Daithi did the only thing he could think of. Push his best friend away.

It was wrong, he knew. But he wanted to keep Brian safe. He wanted to keep himself, safe.

He couldn't go through another heartbreak after his first love broke up with him in college for some guy on a varsity football team.

He loved that girl, and she had just stabbed him in the back.

He knew Brian wouldn't be hard on him if he was rejected, but it would definitely break their strong relationship.

Nogla could not allow another relationship to die like that.

So he hung out with Smii7y and The Goons more. Trying to get away from his main friend group. Because if he stayed closer to them, Brian wasn't far behind.

Most of the time the guys were pretty understanding whenever he'd turn down a recording session with them to hang out with the other friend group, but from time to time they'd whine and demand and he'd have no choice but to give in.

Especially, when Brian was doing the demanding.

Of course, the sudden change in routine confused the fans, but they didn't say much other than question if anyone else noticed it too.

_

Three months Nogla delt with his emotions. Three months, that he had to keep his thoughts to himself. And that's something he's horrible, at doing.

All his effort. All his work. All for it to go to nothing, as here before him, stood Brian.

At his doorstep, in front of his house, just barely a foot away.

"Surprise bitch!" He exclaimed excitedly, tossing his suitcase to the side as he reached up and brought Nogla down for a bear crushing hug.

Nogla let it happen, eyes wide and arms hesitantly lifting his hands to pat Brian's back in a half-assed hug.

The man was... beyond confused seeing his friend in person, pulling back to ask questions. But he found he couldn't get a word in, as Brian was rambling happily.

"And so since it's been months since we've seen eachother, I thought I'd just show up and surprise ye! We can stream together, record vlogs and we can even finish t'at Cuphead round we never got ta! Sound fun right?!" He smiled.

God, David could already feel his heart pounding faster. Screaming at him to just grabs Brian's stupidly handsome face and kiss him.

"Y-yeah! That's sounds great..." He managed, feeling his face burn as he admired the blue running jacket that Brian wore often. It always made his muscles seem bigger in videos and now seeing it on him in person...was just so much better.

"...Are ye okay? Ye're red. Are ya sick? Oh my god, get inside."

Brian's sudden concern made Daithi flinch back into reality, humming in confusion as the shorter male quickly grabbed his suitcase off the floor and quickly pushed him inside, closing the door behind them.

"Wha? S-sick? I'm not—"

"Sit yer ass down you stubborn bitch. I'm gonna make ye some tea." Brian huffed, shoving Nogla down by his shoulders and forcing him to sit on the couch in the living room.

Nogla blinked in confusion. Brian disappearing to the kitchen before he had time to question.

Within a single minute, Brian was rushing back and placing a quilt over Nogla's lap, pushing his chest back so that he was leaning into the couch cushions.

"Uh, Bri—" He was cut off again.

"Why are ye wearing a fuckin' thin ass T-shirt? God damn Daithi, yer a grown man. Learn ta keep yer'self healthy." Brian huffed, grumbling in irritation as he quickly pulled his jacket off and easily slipped it over Nogla's head.

The latter was much skinnier and less muscle toned than Brian, so the clothing easily came a few sizes too big on his slim frame despite his height.

"You dumbass, if you were sick why didn't ye fuckin' call me? I would've gave ye moral support." Brian grumbled. Despite his slight irritation, it wasn't heated. It was more worried than anything.

Nogla blinked in confusion as Brian stomped back to the kitchen, preparing the tea as he sat in silence.

He could hear the mumbled curses from the kitchen, but chose to ignore them. Nogla was wearing Brian's jacket, and his personal smell filled his senses.

He found himself inhaling it in, holding his breath to let the smell linger regardless of if Brian had showed no sign of taking it back any time soon.

"God...I'm stupid." Nogla groaned, raising his hand to massage his temple. All of this so suddenly was giving him a headache.

"Yeah, ye are stupid. Ye didn't even have soup in yer kitchen. I expected ye ta at least have boxes of empty soup cups from DoorDash or some shit. Ye lazy ass." Brian mumbled in agreement as he headed back into the room, having a mug of tea and a plate of cookies he found in Nogla's cupboard.

Nogla flinched as he heard the other, watching his movements as he sat down next to him and set the dishes down.

Nogla looked down, noticing that underneath the jacket, Brian had been wearing a black tank top. And God, if he didn't look sexy before, he most definitely did now.

"Uh...yeah, I was hopin' it would go away naturally. I actually started ta feel better today." Nogla lied, snapping his eyes down as Brian handed him his cup.

Regardless of the heat resistant glass, Nogla pulled the sleeves of Brian's jacket up to his fingers and grabbed the cup sluggishly.

He hated to lie to Brian, but if that's way it took to hide himself, he'd white lie any day. He felt Brian's praying gaze on him as he sipped the warm tea, refusing to open his eyes and meet his gaze.

He sighed in relief once the warm caffeine hit his throat, reliving a few of his on-alert senses.

He opened his eyes and set the cup down on the table, not meeting Brian's gaze once. He took it that the other was silent, probably judging him on how unkept he was.

Nogla reached for one of the cookies with a satisfied hum, having forgotten he even had those.

When he finally met Brian's gaze, his eyes were sharp and unreadable. He stopped his movements, halting with the cookie in his hand.

"What?" He asked, aiming for a slightly offended tone to hide his nervousness. He swallowed softly as Brian's eyes narrowed at him, eyeing him up and down.

Nogla flet a shudder when Brian's eyes went up, then back down. Repeating once more.

"Did yer hair grow longer?" He finally asked.

"Huh?" Nogla asked, taken aback at the sudden question.

"Yer hair. It's down ta yer neck. Last time it was barely past your ears." He explained, stealing one of the cookies. Nogla sighed in relief, glad he wasn't caught in his lie.

"Yeah. Been too busy ta cut it." He said, a bit self conscious as he ran one of his hands through his hair, trying to push his bangs back, only for it to fall back in place.

"Might get an appointment soon." He excused, waving his hand as he took another bite of his cookie.

"Don't. I prefer it this way." Brian stated with a grin. Nogla refused to choke, mentally coaching himself to learn to chew again.

Fuck. It was already happening. His walls that he had worked so hard to build, were starting to crumble.

And all it took was a single compliment from Brian.

God, he was smitten.

_

Brian hummed happily as he set the phone down, positioning it towards himself and steadying it against the carton of eggs before making a noise of victory.

"Right Chat, so Nogla hates his eggs cooked all the way. The fucker likes ta slurp up his yolk like a slutty mick. So we're just gonna cook 'em easy." He explained knowingly, jokingly at his comment as he pulled the eggs out early.

He discussed with Nogla just yesterday that he had wanted to steam every other day with him. Starting from first thing in the morning, and ending last thing at night.

Nogla was hesitant giving the fans that much input on their personal lives, and he was scared he's do or say something he wouldn't be able to take back. But regardless, he agreed. Much to Brian's surprise.

The latter had expected the other to curse him out and rant at him about how stupid that was. Instead, he had gotten a hesitant nod and quiet hum of agreement.

"Speaking of which, where is t'at fucker?" Brian muttered. Ignoring the Chat laughing about his comment to look in the direction of the hall.

He clicked his tongue, setting the stove on low heat and brushing his hands on his sweats.

"Watch the food lads, make sure it doesn't burn." He sighed dramatically, shooting a quick eye roll at the Chat before heading into the hall.

"David, it's already nine in te feckin' morning! What are ye still sleeping!" He called raising his voice, using a playful irritation in his tone.

He stopped in front of the white door, gently knocking two times.

No response.

He huffed, groaning loudly as he threw his head back.

"Daithi, the stream's already runnin'! Chat is waiting on ya, c'mon yer gonna make me eggs burn!" He teased loudly, getting yet more silence in return.

Brian chuckled lightly, knowing the other had to be passed the fuck out still. Yesterday, Brian was sure Nogla was sick, but he had seemed to be getting better by the second, so he had hoped his work had paid off.

He grabbed the door handle and turned it experimentally, grinning to find it unlocked.

"David, wake te fuck up! I'm making... breakfast." Brian trailed off upon walking into the room.

Nogla was passed asleep—as expected — but he looked flushed and sweaty. He was squirming a bit, looking in distress.

Brian frowned, confused.

Nogla seemed alright yesterday. He could he still be sick after all of Brian's care?

He sighed in sympathy as Nogla's fists tightened into the sheets, panting lightly. He was still wearing Brian's jacket, and the latter slightly regretted putting it on him if it was gonna make him so flushed.

Brian stepped forward to wake the other. Maybe to wake him up so that he could prepare a soothing bath for him.

Brian reached his hands down to shake the other awake, but was stopped to a halt when a low groan left Nogla's parted lips.

Brian froze, snapping his eyes to his friends face in surprise.

Nogla's brows twitched, furrowing downward before another moan left his mouth along with a bit of drool.

Brian then stood up straight, easily connecting the dots.

Flushed skin, tossing and turning, drool, moaning, shaky breathing.

Nogla was having a wet dream.

This was out of Brian's control. He couldn't step in and help Nogla here. He stared at his flushed friend for a few seconds, pursing his lips in an unexplainable interest.

He then turned around and headed out the room, shutting the door softly behind him.

"Nogla! Wake te fuck up! Yer gonna make me burn the food ya fuck!" Brian shouted loudly, banging on the door as if he hadn't walked into the room in the first place.

He kept bagging and yelling till he heard a loud groan of complaint, cursing along with his name being grumbled in response.

"Now hurry yer arse up! We already got four hundred people waitin' on ya includin' me!" Brian laughed, dropping his smile as he turned away from the door and headed away.

Become of this... unexpected situation, he didn't know what to think.

What was he supposed to do? What was he supposed to say about that?

He couldn't think properly. So instead, he ignored it and head back with a blank expression, smiling and rolling his eyes playfully only once he was in the kitchen and in view of the Chat.

"He's not a morning person lads." He excused, chuckling to himself as he turned the stove back up to medium and took the eggs off the pan. Moving to place in the bacon instead.

Brian continued to talk to Chat as he cooked, trying his best to ignore what had just happened.

Nogla had entered the room just in time for Brian to finish making the pancakes, setting their plates.

"There he is Chat! Everyone say hi ta this sweepy head." Brian teased, reaching up to ruffle Nogla's hair.

The taller man huffed and pushed his hand away with a pout, moving past him to wave at Chat and steal a bacon from one of the plates.

"Here. Drink, ya fuck." Brian said jokingly, handing a cup of orange juice to Nogla.

"Mm, t'anks." He mumbled, gratefully taking the cup and taking a few gulps. He moaned at the delightful tang of the cool juice down his throat.

Brian froze. Only for a millisecond, but he did freeze. The sound reminded him of what he had just forgotten of this morning.

Brian glanced up at the Chat, hoping to distract himself. He wasn't gonna tell his friend he saw him having a wet dream. As funny as it was to probably see his embarrassed expression.

Irishfanlad: he's so cute when sleepy!!!

Bbsgod: aww his hairs all floofy!!!! XD

Brian Micheal Handjob03: is that Brians jacket?? (⁠☞⁠ ͡⁠°⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠°⁠)⁠☞

UrMomisGayxx: HeS sO aDoRaBLe?!?! 😩

Brian chuckled at the Chat, flicking his eyes up at Nogla, totally oblivious to all the attention.

He was absolutely clueless.

"Mmm, yer good at cookin' Bri." Nogla muttered, swiping another piece of bacon from the plate.

Brian scoffed, nodding in agreement.

"Of course I am. I would make a perfect husband fer ye." He joked, shooting the other his famous smirk. Nogla spit back into his juice, glaring at Brian with a flushed expression.

It was sort of like the same expression he had earlier in bed. Hot and bothered...

Brian chuckled as Nogla cursed him out, ignoring the slight flutter in his chest.

_

Only two days had passed since Brian came over, and Nogla was starting to question if he was capable enough to hold himself back anymore.

His love for Brian was getting stronger and stronger and having him here in person wasn't helping.

He stumbled slightly as Brian hung onto his side, mumbled nonsense as he tried to stand himself up again. Nogla cursed quietly as the action caused Brian to fall into him, his head swaying and bringing Brian's mouth close to his neck.

Nogla reached into his pocket for his keys, feeling his face flush more than it already was as he felt Brian's breath on his skin.

Earlier, Brian and him had played a few rounds of Cuphead, like he mentioned when he first arrived. The session had gotten heated and Brian ended the recording early.

He was mad at the game enough to give up mid way to take a break. Nogla had suggested getting lunch, or even going for a walk to help him calm down.

But Brian wasn't up for any of that. He wanted alcohol, and he had wanted it severely. He suggested that they go to a bar.

Nogla wasn't very on board with the idea but he knew it would help relieve Brian a bit and save him from getting yelled at for no reason or even a few shoves—even if Brian wasn't physically harmful no matter how mad.

Still, Nogla agreed.

They went to a bar he visited from time to time and they drank a bit. Eventually, Brian got a little too excited about it and decided they should go to another bar.

Nogla was confused, thinking Brian wasn't satisfied with their current location. So instead of questioning him, he just gave in like the love-struck idiot he was.

Next thing he knew, one thing led to another, and they started to bar hop.

Nogla hated bar hoping.

It was boring, exhausting, and overall a waste of time. He would have rather been at home dealing with an angry Brian than going around town from club to club.

But, he loved Brian. And bar hopping was something he liked to do. So Nogla let Brian have his fun, and even drank a few himself.

After hours of walking around, a few dozen drinks, and a few lectures to Brian from a few bouncers, and a shit ton of bars later, the two decided to call it quits and go back to Nogla's house.

Nogla was tired of the loud music, the sweaty people and the smelly vomit scent that came with the bars seemingly naturally, and he decided to tell Brian it was time to head back.

The latter was already blasted drunk, so he had no room to argue or disagree other than a few slurred whines in protest.

Nogla himself was drunk, but he sobered up a lot quicker than Brian.

Regardless, he still struggled to open the door to his house and stumble in with his friend. He closed the door behind them with a grunt and locked it, tossing his keys on the coffee table.

He threw Brian on the couch with a huff, earning a goofy chuckle from the man. Nogla rolled his eyes as he pulled a few tissues from the Kleenex on the coffee table, leaning forward to sit Brian up.

"Yer a mess." He muttered, blinking his eyes a bit to clear his blurry vision. It was a miracle how he had managed to walk them back home, carry both their weight, and manage to not get mugged.

Times like this though, he had wished he made friends in his neighborhood to pick him up or something. Alas, Nogla was very antisocial and likes to keep to himself.

"Fuck, my head's poundin'..." Brian winced, groaning as Nogla set a small pillow under his neck.

"T'ats what happens when ye try ta out drink a lumberjack. Te big fockers gonna win even'if ye're Irish." Nogla slurred, softly grabbing Brian's jaw to face him as he wiped away the beer and drool leaking down his chin.

"No, fuck'em. I- hic- I won." He waved at Daithi, his eyelids heavy as he smiled to himself. Nogla rolled his eyes, feeling a blush creep into his face at the smile.

"No, ye didn't. Ye fell off the barstool and blacked out for three minutes." Nogla sighed, grumbling as a new stream of drool leaked from Brian's mouth.

He looked up at his friend as he eyes slowly opened. His blue orbs looking darker than usual. Nogla quickly glanced away, cleaning the rest of the mess on Brian face before turning away and getting up to toss the tissues away.

Suddenly, he was pulled back by strong arms around his waist, pulling him back down into couch.

"No, stay wit me. It's cold." Brian hummed, nuzzling into Nogla's hair as he pulled him closer. Nogla felt his eyes widen, feeling his heart doing literal cartwheels in his chest.

"F-fuck off. Let me go ya bitch." Nogla grunted calmly, reaching down to pry Brian's hands off his waist.

"Mmm, no." Brian pouted playfully, placing a small kiss on Nogla's nape. The latter flinched at the feeling, mentally cursing as the grip on his weak body tightened.

"Brian!" Nogla exclaimed in protest, trying to turn and glare at the other. Brian just chuckled at the expression on his friend's face, finding it all too amusing.

"What? Is my love makin' ya shy?" He asked teasingly, earning a pinch to his hands. Regardless of the wince of pain he drew in, he didn't pull back.

Nogla grunted in Brian's hold, feeling his face burn hotter than it even had before.

This can't be happening. This can't be happening!

The alcohol clearly had a bad effect on Brian. This was common knowledge. But he's never been flirty when drunk. Brian was usually a happy, party drunk. He liked to dance and sing, regardless of if he had two right feet and his voice was off key.

It was one of the reasons Nogla loved him. Because Brian could care less about what other people thought of him. Doing and saying as he pleased, when he pleased.

But this was another kind of interaction Nogla had wished would never occur. It wasn't helping him for shit.

"Speechless are we? I t'ink I could squeeze a few words outta ya." Brian chuckled, his words flirtatious and his expression suggestive.

Nogla squeaked when he was abruptly turned and pulled into Brian's lap, immediately shooting his hands up to shove himself away. But Brian's daily workout era had been more than efficient.

He was ten times stronger than David in every way, and easily held him in place.

"Yer thighs are warm." Brian muttered in admiration, running his large hands up and down Nogla's jean-clad legs.

Nogla let whispered curses escape his lips as he grunted with effort, still trying to pull himself away.

He was embarrassed and flustered. Just like every other time Brian had flirted with him or teased him. But this was on a whole new level.

Brian had never put his hands on Nogla this way. And he's never spoke so sexually. It was more of cheesy pick-up lines or just 'ohh'ing as he hugged him softly.

This, was different.

Usually when Brian got like this, Nogla would tell him to fuck off, and he'd listen immediately. Not wanting to overdo it.

But now, Brian wasn't listening to him, and was groping him softly as if they've done this before.

It excited Nogla, but he couldn't. He just- he couldn't.

Brian was drunk. Way, too drunk. He didn't want to take advantage of his state because of his own emotions. That was low.

"Brian fu- stop squeezing' my ass!" Nogla huffed, trying to go for a more irritated tone. He's never actually yelled at Brian because of the teasing, and right now he regretted it the second he did because Brian, looked pissed.

"The fuck ye just say?" He asked, his voice deep and his eyes glaring.

"I- I...stop, yer drunk." Nogla stuttered in shock, trying to ignore the sudden change in attitude to put Brian in the right mind set.

"Drunk. So what if I'm drunk? What about it?" Brian growled, a small challenging grin breaking onto his lips.

Now right there, Nogla wasn't sure if he's ever been as turned on by something so scary, yet so sexy. But he knew he was now.

"Y-ye don't know what ye want. Yer just j-joking." Nogla explained, a bit hurt at his own words.

He knew Brian would never really do this. No matter how drunk, how high or how delusional. Brian just was raising the stakes higher to get a good laugh out of this...

🔞

"Oh..I know exactly what I want." Brian growled, immediately grabbing Nogla's attention when he felt a hand on the back of his neck.

Before he had time to question, he felt Brian smash his lips into his, his entire body painfully tensing in shock.

No. It's not real. It can't be.

"Shit, yer lips are so soft..." Brian mumbled once he pulled back, staring down at Nogla's pink lips before hungrily diving back in for more.

Nogla clenched his eye shut, opening them a few times and repeating the process. Trying to see if he was dreaming.

But according to the way his skin grew goosebumps once Brian's warm fingertips trailed under his shirt and up his spine, this was real.

He clentched his eyes shut again, keeping they closed this time when he felt Brian's forceful tongue enter his mouth.

His spit tasted of vodka and honey and fuck, was it intoxicating. Nogla found himself giving in. Submitting to the wonderful touches that Brian's hands left on his body.

He was losing control.

Brian sucked on his tongue harshly, drawing out a whine in protest. He tugged on Nogla's bottom lip, feeling the soft flesh with his teeth before pulling back. Nogla didn't even have time to speak, as Brian beat him to it.

"Y'know, a few days ago I saw ye havin'a wet dream in yer bed. Took me a while ta realize it, but after I did, all I wanted ta do was rip yer damn clothes off and fuck ya right there."

His words were low and husky, sending shivers down Nogla's back. He averted his gaze, his complaints dying on the tip of his tongue after those words.

What was he supposed to say to that? Curse him out? Ask him why he didn't mention it earlier? Demand him, where this was coming from?

All Nogla knew, was that he was embarrassed, and he didn't want to know more. But God must hate him regardless of how religious he was, because Brian spoke with another naughty remark.

"Ye probably would've liked t'at. Wouldn't ya. Ta have me strip ye naked and fuck the living shiet outta ya." He muttered into his ear, leaning up to do so. Nogla shook his head quickly, more complaints dying the more Brian spoke.

"Would have ya spread open and leaking with my fucking cum. Ye want t'at?" He asked in a low whisper, now pressing his lips right up against Nogla's ear.

"F-fuck." He finally managed, cursing himself for getting hard over this.

"I would've marked yer neck and bruised your skin with my fingers. Have your ass red and abused if I spanked ya..." He continued.

God, why did Brian have to be a master at dirty talk?

"Mmm, woulda had ye grinding on my cock fer more. Just...like...now." He sighed, earning a yelp as he pushed Nogla's ass down into his hardening member.

"I could probably do all that right now though...now t'at I think about it." He chuckled, getting one last shove from Nogla before his arms turned to jelly.

"Wanna try?" Brian grinned, filling Nogla's stomach with butterflies.

"Fuck...y-yes." he admitted sheepishly, still refusing to make eye contact. Brian groaned in victory, quickly flipping the two so he was hovering over Nogla, who was now laying on the couch.

"Gonna fuck you up till yer screaming for me ta stop." He growled, and Nogla's didn't know if he should feel aroused or scared. But he felt both.

He was panting, still in the stage of being shocked and confused as Brian ripped off his clothes, throwing them to God knows where.

Nogla instinctively covered his crotch, whimpering as Brian quickly yanked them back.

"God, yer skin is so...empty. 'M gonna mark the shit outta ya." He groaned, and before Nogla could protest, Brian was leaning down and he could feel teeth bite into the skin around his collarbone.

He groaned at the slight sting of pain, quickly washing over with pleasure as Brian's jeans ground into his naked boner.

"O-ow!" Nogla moaned out as the scratchy fabric rocked against his flushed member. Brian pulled back, raking his fingers down Nogla's ribcage on either side and leaving eight pink marks behind.

"You're so soft...fuck, ye're like every man's first gay wet dream." Brian groaned, flustering Nogla even more so than he already was. He whimpered quietly, biting his lip as he watched Brian reach up to pull his shirt and jacket off, then down to unbuckle his pants.

He should stop. He should stop Brian before this gets too far. But...he couldn't help it.

Nogla wasn't able to help the moan that escaped his lips once Brian pulled his cock out. Fully hard, long, and thick all around.

"I'm gonna ruin yer fuckin' innocence." He growled, leaning over Nogla and pushing in without a warning.

"Oh! F-fuck!" Nogla yelled, closing his watering eyes and gripping into the couch tightly.

He never pictured sex with Brian. No matter how much he desires the man. But if he had an opinion, he would've thought Brian was slow and gentle. Kind and loving.

But the way he was forcefully ramming in and out said otherwise.

"B-brian! Brian, it hurts! Fuck- slow down!" He managed to moan out desperately, thinking Brian wasn't gonna listen either way. But he did.

Brian came to an abrupt stop deep inside of Nogla, their hips connected skin to skin. Nogla felt a few tears of pain slid down his face as Brian leaned down to kiss them away, moving lower until his teeth were nipping at the skin on his neck.

Nogla gasped as he felt Brian's hot dick pulse inside of him. His ass stung for sure, but the small movement was definitely pleasurable.

"Fuck, got a little too comfortable. Sorry..." Brain apologized genuinely, his words still slurred from the alcohol minutes ago.

Nogla didn't respond, too busy feeling his cock rub into Brian's lower abs with each movement of the other.

It was the smallest feeling, but God did it feel good. He whimpered in need, unvoluntarily twisting his hips to gain more friction. The movement caused the shaft inside of him to shift, and press into his most sensitive spot.

He let out a gasped moan, fluttering his eyes at the newly found area. Brian didn't mention it as much as he wanted to, continuing to scrap his teeth and trail his wet tongue down Nogla's neck and chest.

Nogla raised his hands and pushed into the arm of the couch, pushing himself down into Brian. He moaned at the feeling, pushing himself lower and twisting his hips again to gain more friction.

"Told ya you'd be grinding on my cock." Brian finally spoke smugly, helping Nogla by pushing himself deeper into the other.

"Oh! Oh fffuck—" Nogla moaned shakily, biting his lip to hold in any more noises.

"Fuck, keep moaning like t'at. It's makin' me harder." Brian hissed, pulling out slowly.

Harder?! How could he possibly get any harder?!

Brian thrusted in quickly. Not as harsh as before, but still fast. Nogla had whimpered at the feeling, still a bit in pain but the burn felt nice.

"Gotta get ye wet." Brian muttered, drawing back as he sat up. Nogla watched as Brian pulled out, suddenly feeling very empty.

"C'mere." He growled, snatching Nogla by the hair and tugging softly. No enough to hurt him, but enough where he could feel it. Nogla whimpered quietly, obediently getting up to his knees. It took him a bit since he was still feeling a tab bit of pain in his nether region, but Brian let him take his time.

He sat Nogla up, admiring his form for a second. He looked so embarrassed and shy. Sitting on his knees with his legs spread and his chest and neck marked up.

"Fuck, I love your lips." Brian mumbled, bringing Nogla into another kiss. Nogla's heart did a backflip for a split second, thinking Brian was gonna say the words 'i love you'.

But they weren't, yet, they still meant just as much.

Nogla kissed back gently, getting Brian to slow down and match the pace.

He then pulled back and lowered Nogla's head, hand still threaded into his hair.

"Open yer mouth." He demanded, Nogla didn't complain. He easily parted his lips and allowed Brian to slid in. He pushed in a few inches, experimenting with the new heat.

He was four in and Nogla didn't seem to be complaining or struggling. He pushed in a bit further, groaning at how well his lips wrapped around his shaft.

"I really love your lips." He stated, sighing as he felt Nogla's throat constrict around his tip. Nogla's gagged once, but was immediately pulled off a bit by the hair.

Nogla had been in pain before, and now Brian was trying to restrain himself a bit so he didn't repeat the torture.

"Fuck- sit back up." Brian mumbled, slowly pulling Nogla off of him, watching in arousal as his lips glisten with spit in the moonlight of the room.

Nogla flickered his eyes up at Brian in confusion and askance, trying his best to keep his eyes away from the way the other grit his teeth in want.

Brian lied Nogla down gently, grabbing one of his small hands and holding it up to his mouth. He sucked on Nogla's dainty fingers slowly, careful not to bite him and hurt him any more than he already has.

Nogla whined at the sight, his skin turning a dark shade of red. God, what was Brian doing to his little heart?!

"Finger fuck yer'self fer me. I wanna see." He said, pulling Nogla's fingers from his mouth with a thick coat of saliva.

"W-what?! I-i dunno how... i-i—" Nogla stammered, his face flushing even more. If that was even possible. Brian chuckled at the adorable behavior, his eyes hazy from the alcohol.

"Or I can do it. Yer choice." He smirked, signifying that if he did it, he wouldn't hold back. Nogla gulped nervously, hesitantly lowering his hand under his leg and around to his entrance.

Brian sat back, his grin widening as Nogla's small fingers pushed into the delicate pink hole slowly, drawing out a small gasp.

Brian had already tore him open, so his fingers slid in easily. Nogla pumped them in and out slowly, whining at the feeling.

He hadn't fingered himself in so long, let alone masturbate. So having to do this—with Brian watching —was god damn nerve wracking.

Nogla huffed our small puffs of air as he added in a third finger, just slightly speeding up.

"That's it, keep goin' like t'at. I wanna see ye break yer'self fer me." Brian growled, causing Daithi to flutter his eyes shut when his walls tightened around his fingers.

"Add another. I want ye ta be ready fer me ta fuck you nice and good." Brian continued, running his hands up the under sides of Nogla's thighs.

The taller male gasped at the sudden skin contact, his thighs shaking as he arched his back to reach deeper. He followed ordered and added a forth finger, pushing down to the knuckle.

"Good boy...such a good boy Daithi." Brian whispered, earning a whimpery moan in reward for his dirty talk.

Brian then grabbed Nogla's wrist, helping thrust his fingers in and out. He could feel the way Nogla tightened on his fingers, using a little effort to drag them back out.

"Hell, you're so needy. Mmm, I want my cock in'ya." He growled, yanking Nogla's fingers out and pressing his wet prick to the pink hole once again.

Nogla tensed, expecting to feel pain like before. Instead, he felt bliss as Brian's head popped in, slowly sliding inch by inch, deeper and deeper until he could feel Brian's stomach against his dick again.

"So much easier." Brian mumbled, leaning down to trail kisses on Nogla's jawline as he started to thrust in and out.

Small gasps and shaky moans left Nogla's pink lips as Brian pushed into him, quickly deciding it was a good idea to speed up again.

Nogla yelped, latching to the cushions again as Brian slammed into him. He was panting and grunting like an animal, growling Nogla's name as he ran his nails down his pale body.

"So tight fer me...so god damn hot for me. Just me." Brian groaned possessively, adding more marks to the skin that was left untouched.

Nogla keened in pleasure, feeling his legs part more with each thrust Brian made. With each ram of his hips, Nogla could feel himself rock back and forth with Brian's effort.

His cock was deep and fast, going in and out a lot smoothly than previously. His hands were warm and firm on Nogla's thighs, keeping his spread open and vulnerable, just like Brian said.

Everything about this felt amazing to Nogla. The feeling, the emotion.

He didn't care to hide his sounds anymore. Moaning with every thrust and squeaking in shock when Brian's dick nailed his prostate unexpectedly. His noises were high pitched and toy like, it drove Brian to search for more.

"Ya like t'at? Ye like getting pounded like a slut? Yer suckin' me in so fucking well. God, yer a mess. If only ye could see how fucked up ya look right now David." Brian laughed smugly, watching the way Nogla's eyes seemed to be losing focus and crossing every now and then before blinking to regain his vision.

Nogla was tightening with every dirty word that left Brian's mouth, pushing the two close to their edge.

"Not gonna respond? Can't talk with all that screaming yer doing? Fuck you're so soft- even in the inside. So warms an...argh." Brian trailed off, closing his eyes and tightening his grip on Nogla's thighs at the welcomed pleasure.

"Fuck, I- I love you Brian." Nogla whispered, opening his eyes to look at his friend. He mentally sighed in relief, seeing as Brian was too busy feeling pleasure to pay any mind.

Nogla clentched around Brian tightly, feeling his whole body shake the more his prostate was hit.

"Fuck- cumming." Brian groaned, leaning forward as he thrusted harder. With a few more bucks he shot his load into Nogla's body, shocking the taller man at the strange, foreign feeling.

"Ah- my god!" He gasped, cumming at the way the hot semen slid deeper inside of him along with the jerky last minute thrusts Brian made.

Nogla's body tensed and he became blinded with white stars, gasping and convulsing as he rode out his high.

He felt Brian reach under him and force his back up to arch, planting soft kisses down the center of his belly. Nogla gasped softly with each peck, his whole body jolting when Brian left one last kiss on the head of his worn out penis.

"Fuck...'m tired." He groaned, sighing as he lied down on Nogla's body, wrapping his arms around him in a cuddle.

Nogla felt a wave of realization crash over him, his euphoric feeling fading away and getting replaced by fear.

What...had he just done?

He glanced down. Brian's head was tucked into his neck, already passed out with drool leaking from his mouth.

Nogla was scared.

Scared he'd just fucked everything up. He has sobered up over the last few minutes and though he was still clearly drunk, he was able to think about what he had done. What they had done.

He just had sex. Sex with his best friend. Sex with Brian.

He blinked, feeling tears threaten his eyes. He enjoyed it. He really did. But what would Brian think?

Nogla did the only thing he promised he wouldn't do. And that was to take advantage of Brian's drunk state.

He felt stupid. He felt disgusted in himself. He felt like he betrayed Brian.

He'll probably never trust him again. He might as well go pack Brian's shit and save him the time to that he didn't have to see another second of Nogla when he woke up.

Nogla would've just done that. But he couldn't even if he wanted.

Brian was still on top of him. Still inside of him. Passed out.

Nogla took a few deep breaths, calming himself down. There was no use in getting all shaken up when he knew it was gonna happen anyways.

Nogla was conflicted. He didn't know what to do.

He sighed sadly, looking down at his friend's sleepy face. Probably the last time he'll see him so peaceful. He leaned down and placed a tender kiss to his lips, immediately drawing back as he knew it was just as wrong.

Fuck, he just keeps screwing up.

He huffed, closing his eyes and resting his body. All he could do now was sleep and deal with the hurt in the morning.

_

Nogla hummed tiredly as he felt a wave of relaxation rush over him. He refused to open his eyes, not wanting to wake up from his peaceful slumber just yet.

His body was in bliss at the moment and he didn't want the feeling to leave. He moaned softly at the wonderful feeling, tilting his head and feeling his bangs brush into his lashes.

What this feeling was, he couldn't tell. But he liked it, and welcomed it happily.

He the jolted with a yelp, feeling a firm hit to his prostate.

He shot his blurry eyes open, blinking away the haze to see Brian hovering over him. Smirking down at him as he rubbed small circles into his hips with his thumbs.

"Morning, love." He greeted sweetly, smiling calmly as Nogla snapped his eyes back down to their joined hips in confusion.

"B-brian! What are ye- f-ah!" He moaned, feeling his legs shake as Brian thrusted back into him.

Nogla didn't speak further, too busy feeling Brian rock into him slowly. For some odd reason, Nogla felt close to a climax. His walls clentched tightly and his breaths turning into sharp gasps. He felt... sensitive?

He glanced up at Brian as he let another moan escape, taking note that he didn't look pissed. But instead, happy.

But he looked sweaty, and he himself was panting.

Had...had Brian been fucking him when he was asleep?

Nogla didn't have time to ask, as his gut was burning too close to an orgasm for his liking. He choked on a gasp, the noise coming out like a whine as Brian's hand reached out to slowly rub at Nogla's tip.

Brian was moving a lot slower than last night, but it somehow increased the other's pleasure.

Brian groaned quietly, his smirk widening when Nogla made eye contact. The smug look in his eyes was enough to push Nogla over the edge, hips and legs spasming as he came all over his chest for the second time in the last twenty four hours.

Gasps of overstimulation left his lips as Brian slowly stroked him up and down through his orgasm, not stoping his thrusting until he himself came. Nogla shivered at the now-familiar feeling of Brian's semen shooting into how body and filling him up, whimpering softly.

He lied in half confusion and half pleasure and Brian eyed him up, watching his body quiver at the remaining of his orgasm.

"Fuck... I'll never get tired of seein' t'at." He mumbled to himself, running his fingers through the ropes of cum that stained Nogla's chest.

"B-brian..." Nogla finally managed, flinching when Brian's eyes snapped up to meet his.

"Yeah?" He asked nonchalantly. Nogla was even more confused, looking at Brian in disbelief.

"W...I-i...yer not mad at me?" He asked hesitantly. Brian laughed at that, shaking his head.

"For what? Having sex with me when I was drunk?" He asked sarcastically. Nogla stiffened at that, and Brian realized he hit a nerve.

He smiled softly, leaning down to place a gentle kiss to his lips. Nogla didn't kiss back, and that was totally understandable. Brian pulled back before Nogla could even consider kissing back, sitting back up.

"No. I'm not. Plus, I fucked ye in yer sleep. We're even now." He said with a wide smile, taking amusement in the way he left Nogla red faced and speechless.

He needed further explanation and Brian was happy to provide that.

"When we had sex last night, I was drunk, yes. But I'm a responsible drunk. I'm always aware of all my actions and decisions. I was in complete control last night when I slept with ya." He said slowly, trying to satisfy Nogla's sleepy mind.

"S-so...ye didn't just sleep wit' me because I was the closest fuck?" He asked hesitantly, his eyes filled with hope as he looked up at the other. Brian hummed wIth a nod, confirming Nogla's words.

"I slept with you, because I wanted ta." He reassured him. Nogla nodded slowly in understanding, averting his gaze as he thought back to last night.

He then felt his face flush, remembered the small love confession he let slip out last night.

God he hopes Brian didn't remember it...

He swallowed nervously as he looked back up to meet Brian's piercing gaze. An awkward since fell between the two of them. A small smile on Brian's face and a nervous frown on Nogla's.

The taller quickly looked away, feeling his face heat up in embarrassment. Well shit, he was caught staring.

"...I love you too."

Nogla snapped his eyes up, his face dropping as he met the other's gaze again.

Nogla was confused, clearly.

"Y...you remember?" He asked in slight horror, wondering how much else the other remembered. Brian chuckled, nodding as he ran his hands over Nogla's thighs—that were still wrapped around his waist.

"Like I said, I'm a responsible drunk. I never forget what happens unless I'm completely wasted." He explained, laughing at the thought.

Nogla nodded again, suddenly at a loss of words. Again.

A lot was going on right now. Yet, so little. Brian showed up at his door, welcomed himself in, drove Nogla crazy with his teasing, got fucking hammered, fucked him, woke him up by fucking him again, and then returned the L word.

The L word. Brian returned it.

Nogla's heart pounded faster, coming into realization. Brian returned his love. Brian returned his feelings. Brian...loved him back?

Nogla looked up into Brian's blue orbs, already feeling content with the smile that was offered his way.

"I...love...you." Nogla repeated the words he had spoken last night. Wanting to hear Brian say it back once more to prove he was certain.

However, Nogla's tone was unconfident and shy. Brian noticed.

He laughed at the whispered words, sliding his hands down to Nogla's hips.

"Say it louder?" He suggested, keeping up that smile of his. Nogla frowned in confusion, regardless, being obedient.

"I...I love ye?" He now questioned. It was spoken louder, but still unconfident.

"Again." Brian demanded, leaning forward and moving his hands to rest on the couch on either side of Nogla's waist.

"I l-love you." He stuttered, glancing down at Brian's body before looking back up to his eyes. He had a pretty solid idea of what Brian was doing.

"C'mon sweetheart, ye can do better than that." Brian smirked, slowly sliding one of his hands up the center of Nogla's chest.

"I love you. I love you, Brian... always." He pushed out, forcing himself to hold their gaze and not wandering to the hand moving past his throat to caress his face.

"Good boy." Brian praised, satisfied with the confident awnser. Nogla shuddered at the pet name, lifting his hands to Brian's hair as the shorter male leaned down and pressed their lips into a passionate kiss.

Brian hummed at the feeling of Nogla's soft pillowy lips, recalling they were just as soft last night. His hands, threading through his hair felt magical. Nogla's lashes were fluttering again his skin and fuck did it feel right. Nogla moaned into his mouth softly, submissively opening his mouth when Brian licked his bottom lip.

Brian felt love... But an unfamiliar love.

Not the childhood crush kind of way, not the family kind of way and definitely not the platonic way. He felt a different kind of love.

He felt...true love.

He pulled back slowly, looking into those bright green eyes that always held so much life and love for anyone that he knew.

But when they looked at Brian, they were practically filled with hearts. Pupils dilating with love.

Now everything made sense to Brian. The weird eye glances, the red faces when he was teased, the missed recoding sessions.

Nogla loved him...and Brian felt nothing more, than the need and want to return that love.

"Uh...c-can we get up now? Ye're kinda...still in me and there's jizz runnin' down my legs..." Nogla said bashfully, bringing Brian out of his trance.

"Shut up, you love it." Brian teased, earning an almost immediate glare and blush in response.

"N-no I don't!" He protests. Brian laughed at the obvious denial and embarrassment.

"Mhm, even after shuddering when I filled you up last night? Ye definitely like if." He grinned, hovering over his fri- well, technically, now lover.

"Sh-shut up! Ugh, ye're so annoyin'!" Nogla exclaimed, groaning in embarrassment as he covered his face with his hands.

Brian laughed at that. He's always loved teasing people, but Nogla in particular. It felt natural and fun. In a friendly sort of way.

But now, it occured to Brian that it wasn't because of that, but a new eye opening reason.

Love.

"Say it one more time, please?" He asked softly, smiling down at the other. Nogla glared through his fingers, the action much too adorable for Brian to comprehend.

Nogla wanted to curse him out for embarrassing him and making fun of him.

However...there was a clear adoration in Brian eyes. One that Nogla's never quite seen before.

"I love you." He stated softly.

Brian sighed lovingly, closing his eyes as he leaned down and ran his nose along Nogla's jawline in content.

"I love ye too, Daithi." He said truthfully, and gently. Nogla smiled, feeling the warmth invade his body as he embraced the beautiful man above him.

He couldn't have been any happier.

"Now get yer dick outta me. 'M hungry." He pouted. Brian laughed, nodding in agreement.

"Me too. As much as I'd love ta just fuck ye again." He admitted shamelessly.

"Brian!" Nogla exclaimed.

"Alright, alright. I'm getting up, jeez." He laughed at the flustered expression the other had.

9856 words    

__________________________________

Welp! Here ya go!

Btw, for anyone wondering or sensitive to rough intimacy, everything in this shot is COMPLETELY CONSENSUAL!

I've read some kinky shit that other people have posted and despite how aggressive—and I mean AGGRESSIVE, it was labeled as consensual.

So our little jelly bean in the story was in completely safe hands, not to worry!!

😂

Anyways, I hope you guys liked it!!

Stay healthy, stay safe, stay beautiful!

Until next time my loves!!

(⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)

💜🖤💜

- Jacky    

__________________________________

Featured or mentioned characters:

Main -

Nogla - Nogla, Daithi, David

Terroriser - Brian

Featured -

Smii7y

The Goons

[squirrelno2]

Jesse Lives AU, pt 4

What is a schedule? Are these even remotely similar in length? Am I ever posting this anywhere other than Tumblr? These are the questions that have no answer.

Under the cut: Jesse and Jale go exploring and finally get off-world. (Apparently tumblr hates me so never mind on that last part I guess I'm writing part five based off my memory of the fuckton of content I wrote that Tumblr just lost. Have fun with what I've got though)

Previous: 1, 2, 3

Next: 5

Jale went around the side of the crash, knowing better than to try and enter a ship at the engine end when it had only recently wrecked. He and a still-complaining Jesse found their way in at the hangar bay doors.

With the angle the ship had hit the ground at, just walking through wasn't always feasible. Jale and Jesse clambered awkwardly over the hulls of shuttles and starfighters in the hangar. Jale kept one eye on the clone as they went. He didn't trust Jesse not to start waving that blaster around again, or worse.

"Here," Jale said when he found a starfighter that wasn't completely crumpled in the impact. "Give me a hand."

"Clearly you work on your own," Jesse said. "Can't you handle this shit?"

Jale rolled his eyes and slammed his foot into the window. It took a few tries, but it finally shifted under his weight and shattered inward.

"Wait here, then," Jale said. "And if I find something that's obviously personal, I'll take it and I won't tell you."

He smirked at the sound Jesse made as he climbed up to watch as Jale swung himself inside.

There wasn't quite enough room for Jale to get his tools from his pack. He looked up at Jesse, weighing his options, and decided he would just have to remove what he could by hand. Jale crouched over the control panel and got to work prying it open with his fingernails.

"Wouldn't that work better with a tool of some kind?" Jesse asked. Jale scowled and gave the panel a vicious tug. It finally popped loose, bending one of his nails in the process. Jale bit back a curse. He didn't want to give the clone any satisfaction.

"I happen to be good at what I do," Jale said with dignity. Jesse snorted.

"Right," he said. "Who wouldn't boast of their skills in graverobbing?"

Normally when dealing with bitchy assholes Jale would imagine the wires he was tugging were the person's hair. Unfortunately, Jesse had only the barest hint of fuzz on his scalp. Jale tugged the targeting system out of the ship and settled for pretending he'd just shoved Jesse off the starfighter's hull.

"You got your prize. Can we go?" Jesse asked as Jale pulled himself back up.

"You can, if you want to walk around with that head wound on an unfamiliar moon. I have more work to do."

"It's healed," Jesse said.

"So you just didn't wipe off the dried blood as some kind of fashion choice?"

"If you're so worried about me, we ought to go."

"Don't read into it," Jale scoffed. "With you here, I can carry more, which means we're both less likely to get dumped on the first hellpit of a planet that crew finds." He hopped down. Jesse followed more slowly; his face twitched as he touched the ground, like he was in pain. Jale wondered if the clone was hurt anywhere other than his head. His mother would eat him alive if she knew he was dragging an injured man around a wreck instead of finding medical care, but then again it wasn't like his mother would ever meet Jesse.

"And when are you going to be satisfied? What are you looking for?"

"Anything I can sell," Jale said grimly. The floor slanted up away from them, made even harder to navigate by the wall that had been punctured in the crash and now poked jagged edges into Jale's way. Awkwardly, he climbed the wreckage, hoping Jesse wouldn't test his larger bulk on it until Jale had made it up. He had no such luck - Jesse apparently refused to let Jale out of his sight - but thankfully the surface held.

Jale looked into the hall, trying to see where he should go next.

"What's this way?" he asked. "Engines?"

"Medbay," Jesse said tightly.

"Oh, good," Jale said. "That shit sells."

"You're not touching the medbay," Jesse said. "I'll take you to the engine room. But you aren't going anywhere near - near the medbay."

"Something you don't want me to see?" Jale asked.

"Someone I don't want to unbury," Jesse said. Jale couldn't hold in a small "ew" at the thought. He hadn't realized there might be bodies in there, but decomposition certainly wasn't his thing. He could stick with the rest of it today.

The engine room was still a little smoky, even days after the crash. Jale gave the hyperdrive a wide berth. He'd have to be an idiot to poke around there.

Some of the fuel reserves were intact, and Jale carefully inspected it to be sure he wasn't going to blow them up if he took a barrel.

"I'm not carrying that," Jesse said. Jale rolled his eyes.

"I can manage it," he said.

Jesse clearly didn't believe him. Jale, who normally rolled barrels like these, scowled and heaved it up into his arms.

"You're an idiot," Jesse observed.

"Shut up," Jale grunted, setting the barrel down by the door.

"Is that it?" Jesse asked. Jale sighed, turning to look. The engines were worse off than he'd hoped, but he could probably strip a few parts.

"I'm going to head up there," Jale said, indicating the upper level.

"The lifts aren't going to work."

"I have done this before, thank you. I know what I'm doing."

Grateful for the awkward slant of the ship, Jale hoisted himself up on a computer and jumped for a sort of ledge that had been created when something on the other side slammed into the wall. Carefully, he snuck along it and reached up for the edge of the catwalk.

"You're not tall enough for that!"

Jale jumped at the clone's voice, and frantically grabbed at the surface beneath him.

"Are you trying to kill me?" he demanded. Jesse raised an eyebrow as he peered up at Jale. Jale hated him a little more.

The worst of it was that Jesse wasn't wrong. Jale took his bag off his back and pulled a rope from it. With a toss, a careful knot, and an emphatic tug, he had another way up. Jale began the climb, trying to ignore the ache in his shoulders and the expressions he imagined Jesse making.

The upper level was a lot less stable than it had looked. It creaked under Jale's feet. He drew a steadying breath and carefully did not look down.

"No wonder this ship crashed. You people can't even put railings on these walkways," Jale called, trying to distract himself from the shaking under his feet.

"Is everything a joke to you?" Jesse snapped. "Why don't you dedicate some of that thought to keeping yourself from falling and shut up about my dead siblings?"

Jale grimaced. He could, perhaps, see how that had been in poor taste.

He wasn't wrong, though.

He found the equipment he was looking for, a kind of monitor to help look at the hyperdrive when it was unstable. It was one of the few elements of an engine this big that could be installed on smaller ships like the one he'd begged passage on. Unfortunately for him, it was significantly better secured here than on the smaller wrecks he'd been working lately.

Jale started to unscrew the corners of the monitor. Three were reachable, but the far top corner was just out of range as the walkway curved away from the monitor.

"Almost done?" Jesse called as the catwalk groaned.

"I just have to get this screw -"

His joke about railings came back to haunt him. Jale's foot slipped as he leaned out over the gap, sending him tumbling. He flailed, barely managing to grab the edge. He was dangling over the gap - not as far down as if the engines were below, but enough that he'd break a bone or two. Jale wondered if he could swing himself enough to land where Jesse was -

Where was Jesse?

"Hey, idiot!"

Jale nearly let go in his surprise at seeing Jesse kneeling above him. With a grunt, Jesse grabbed him by the forearms.

"Try not being deadweight," Jesse said through gritted teeth. Jale dug his fingernails into Jesse's arms in response as the clone pulled him up. For a second, he was on top of the clone, trying to catch his breath. Annoyingly, Jesse had nice eyes.

Then Jesse shoved at his chest.

"Get up," he snapped. "How the hell are you still alive? You can't have been doing this long."

"As though you're the expert?" Jale spat. He got to his feet. Begrudgingly, because this was another thing his mother would eat him alive about, he added, "Thanks for the save."

"Yeah, well," Jesse said. "Don't read too much into it."

[starsarefire824]

Heeey moot! Just woke up! Even though I'm late, I just wanted to say that you deserve to write whatever tf you want and I'm sorry some peeps were harassing you about The Pact. I don't think folks know how hard it is to not only write, but then to post it for others to see. So, for them to criticize you when it's just a fun fic that they can ignore or filter out (tags on ao3 are meant to be used geez) its wild to me. You're doing something very unique with the characters and including a lot of different subgroups of the queer community splendidly while keeping them flawed like real teens - all in 1 fic. As a demi ace myself, I was so happy to see you incorporate that in your fic respectively and a lot of my queer Sex Ed came from detailed, researched fics bc even though my parents and school system talked to me about sex, there was nothing for the queer kids, let alone ace kids to get guidance on. So, for fic readers/writers like me, using fics to explore sexuality was a godsend.

Can't help but also think it's the biphobia kicking in again, specifically for characters like Mike. No one has a problem hc Max as bi even though it seems like lumax is clearly endgame over elmax or elumax, but when it comes to Mike being bi it's like the world is ending despite it clearly being byler endgame. I personally ship all hcs of Mike's sexuality cuz only Robin and Will have been confirmed queer. Everyone else in ST to me is undisclosed until stated straight or queer. But again that's me.

Also love your poly rep cuz my sib is poly and so were some of my grandma's cousins from 1950s-now. So, again, all or most sexualities explored in fics is a must, regardless if you ship it. I've always been a polypartycule shipper and enjoy how you include all party members and mention Duzie sometimes cuz too many times I found fics/hcs excluding the fact Dustin has a stable relationship with Suzie in favor of just highlighting byler and elumax as the romantic ones of the party.

Sorry for the rant but I had to let it out. I hated scrolling through my feed and seeing that post you made of folks getting heated over fiction like you're gonna convince the Duffers to change the whole script. Anyways I hope my support is felt. This is still me typing in a sleep daze and yeah. I'll continue reading your work cuz I enjoy good writers first and foremost and omg lol you made it having some harrassers cuz the greatest books were on the banned book list. Not saying you deserve the irrational hate, but that's how I'm framing it - this is giving "banned book energy" just cuz The Pact is exploring romantic madwheeler when no one cares about byclair or henderhop or henclair (despite folks labeling El as a lesbian). Anyways, you do you moot be blessed out here

Hello deer moot!!!! <33

Thanks so much for the positive vibes!!! I truly appreciate it. I guess I was just feeling a little let down that a select few people made it so far into a fic and then were angry about the way things were going and/or felt the need for me to tell them the ending. At first it didn't bother me, but after answering the same questions 1,000 times and trying to sort of reassure everyone it got to a point of being exhausting! I want to talk about the fic, but I don't really want to have to defend my writing/story/ship choices every chapter. It's kind of exhausting and was bringing me down a little bit. But anyway, enough about that.

I am SO GLAD that you are like...really vibing with some of the choices in that story? Especially with your unique pov being demi ace and having poly family. I think that fanfiction can be a very important tool for a lot of teen when it comes to exploring sex, especially if it's not a cis het-normative type or even just....dealing with sex from a young person's pov and all of the obstacles that everyone faces in that regard. Also, I think it can just open up a conversation or make a person think about things that maybe they might not of before etc etc. Or! They can just enjoy those scenes for the writing/good time. I'm here for all of it.

I'm not sure if it's a biphobia thing? It honestly hadn't occurred to me, but you may possibly be right. I know a lot of people headcanon Mike as gay, which I fully support. I wouldn't be surprised if that is the case. I think if Byler happens in canon, he'll be unlabeled. BUT I do like to write Mike as bi, I personally think that there were feelings for El at some point. I personally headcanon him as a bi-romantic, and sexually leaning towards men. But that's just me....

But anyway, as that pertains to madwheeler, I also really enjoy the bi for bi Max and Mike dynamic, specifically because it's fun to write, and secondly it's another thing to add to their already similar personalities. And yea. I agree... unless a character's sexuality is specifically stated like El and Will's, there is room for exploration for most characters and that's what fanfic and art is for.

I do think there is this strange thought process regarding bi characters, that if they have a relationship with a person of the opposite sex it's like they're not "queer enough" for other people. Like it's somehow lesser than if Mike has a relationship with a woman, even though he already, in canon, is well, with a woman. And that people tend to forget that people are still bi, still queer, even if they are in the most outwardly straight presenting relationship, cause let's face it....you can't really help who you're attracted to and who you fall in love with. it just is.

And when it comes to the madwheeler in this fic, I am fully aware it is one of the least popular ships out there, but again, that is one of the reasons I wanted to explore it. And a a bi, poly person my self it was really interesting putting these characters in a dynamic where they were both involved with people of differing genders and orientations. It gives you a lot to work with when it comes to having things to write about! シ

And as you said, it also allows for some messy, realistic teenage angst! Which I am always a fan of! ;)

Anyway, thank you for the rant. I appreciate it so much, and am honestly still blown away by the positive responses to this story. Even if it's not everyone's cup of tea!