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wannab-urs · 10 months ago

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Outtakes - Long ass fics

AO3 | Kofi | Main Masterlist | The Spreadsheet Masterlist

Howdy folks!

Here's a list of fics I've read that are either over 100k words or have 20+ chapters.

Summaries and tags are, in most cases, provided by the author - please be sure to read them as some of these fics may have content you do not wish to read.

Pedro boys currently included are: Din Djarin, Frankie Morales, Javier Peña, Joel Miller, Dave York, Dieter Bravo, Oberyn Martell, Jack Daniels, and Pedro Across the Street + a Din x Joel fic (no reader insert)

updated 7/22/2024

Din Djarin

Starlight by LovelessDagger | 300k

Summary: Nothing ever truly dies. Not the Empire, not the dark, not her. The Mandalorian should know this, and somewhere deep down he does. Whether he cares is a different story. Consequences and the whole of them be damned.

Tags: Assassins & Hitmen, Enemies to Lovers, Slow Burn, Blood and Violence, Explicit Language. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Morally Ambiguous Character, OFC, Trauma, Found Family, Betrayal, Secrets, Touch-Starved Din Djarin, Filled with existential dread, Sexual Tension, Heavy symbolism, two idiots with family issues form a family, Past Child Abuse, Mutual Pining, Angst, Eventual Smut, Clones, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Sith, Imperial Inquisitors, Secret Past, No one tells the truth, Metaphorical Addiction

I Only See Daylight by @millersdjarin | 141.6k

Summary: You’ve stayed in one place all this time, knowing that any move to leave could lead them to find you. When a Mandalorian and his child crash land on your home planet, you can't turn them away for help.

Tags: Smut, slow burn, post-canon, trauma, past emotional/physical abuse, relgious trauma, scars, negative self-image, found family, injury, heavy angst, fluff and love

A Fresh Start by @theidiotwhowritesthings | 140k

Summary: When you made plans for your future they never involved being hired by a Mandalorian to baby-sit his adorable, green gremlin of a child. However, after your life fell apart in the span of one disastrous night, you found it to be the only feasible option you had left. Nevarro was a far cry from Coruscant, but the thriving community turned out to be exactly what you needed. Every day you spend in Nevarro you fall more and more in love with your new life, but when your past rears its ugly head you find that perhaps peace wasn’t meant for everyone.

Tags: use of fake name, reader is hiding from a shady past, depressive symptoms, jealousy, pining, angst, hurt/comfort, medical trauma, nightmares, blood, injury, traumatic past, scars, slow burn, shooting training, sick child, fear and panic, canon typical violence, blackmailing, anxiety, self doubt, sexual tension, heavy petting, panic attack, male masturbation, arguing, mentions of alcohol and a bit of binge drinking, angst, people getting drunk, non descriptive torture, murder, fluff, mentions of death, non consensual groping of reader by a stranger, smut, oral f receiving

Stitches by @djarinsbeskar | 190k

Summary: What is a former combat medic to do when an injured Mandalorian stumbles upon her clinic one night on Klatooine?

Tags: Smut, action, fluff, angst, canon-typical violence

Beskar Doll by @justagalwhowrites | 232.4k

Summary: You have a knack for finding trouble, be it in the midst of Galactic Civil War or when trying to live the quiet life after getting out of the game. So when you're stuck fleeing your new home planet after pissing off the wrong people - again - there's only one person willing to take you: the Mandalorian. But after years of fighting faceless men, you're not the trusting type toward someone always wearing a helmet and the Mandalorian quickly suspects there's more to you than he knows.

Tags: Slow Burn, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Canon-Typical Violence, Pre-Canon, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Dry Humping, Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Mando'a Language (Star Wars), Protective Din Djarin, Touch-Starved Din Djarin, Din Djarin Removes the Helmet, Past Domestic Violence, Brat Tamer Din Djarin, Vaginal Fingering, Soft Din Djarin, POV Din Djarin, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Angst, Mandalorian Culture (Star Wars), Mutual Masturbation, Masturbation, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, PIV, Unsafe Sex, Consent King Din Djarin, Din Djarin's Helmet Stays on During Sex, Vaginal Sex, Din Djarin talks you through it, Making Love, Pregnancy

Best Kept Secret by @lincolndjarin | 188k

Summary: Married off to a prince on a planet that you hate? New husband doesn't know you, and doesn't want to know you? New husband gifts you a personal Mandalorian body guard as a wedding present? Mandalorian is a wiseass who won't leave you alone? Lucky you.

Tags: no y/n, Enemies to Lovers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Canon-Typical Violence, Princess!Reader, Arranged Marriage, bodyguard!din, Smut, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Glove Kink, Light Dom/sub, Switch Din Djarin, Switch Reader, Body Worship, Din Djarin Has a Breeding Kink, Hate Sex, Creampie, Sex Toys, Anal Play, Overstimulation, Multiple Orgasms, eventual pregnancy (right at the end)

Be-All and Endor by @djarins-cyare | 400k

Summary: Languishing in a dull and lonely existence on the forest moon of Endor after travelling there to help salvage Death Star wreckage, a nearly fatal encounter with a mysterious bounty hunter out in the forest heralds an opportunity to utilise long-forgotten skills and develop something more profound than you ever thought possible.

Tags: Slow Burn, Slow Build, Romance, Love, Sexual Tension, Eventual Smut, Smut, Sex, Sexual Content, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Relationships, Healthy Relationships, Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Injury, Dark Past, Additional Warnings In Author's Notes, Bounty Hunter Din Djarin, Soft Din Djarin, Touch-Starved Din Djarin, Din Djarin Needs a Hug, Smart Din Djarin, Soft Dominant Din Djarin, Ewok Species, Mandalorian Culture, Mando'a Language, New Razor Crest, Thoroughly Researched, Worldbuilding, No use of y/n.

A Place of Safety by The_InvisibleWoman (AO3) | 178k

Summary: Persuaded into picking up one last quarry on his way home, an exhausted Mandalorian is in no mood for you, but he slowly begins to think that things are not as they should be. You’ve been on the run for so long and you don’t even know who from, but when you are captured by the bounty hunter, you think it’s all over.

Tags: Smut, slow burn, protective!Din, touch starvation, Din Djarin's point of view, fluff, angst, mutual pining, enemies to friends to lovers, rescue, falling in love, flirting, close proximity, gentle kissing, gentle sex, cuddling, threats of sexual assault, attempted sexual assault, self harm, tickling, noncon

Wrest Pin by BalletOrchard (AO3) | 366k

Summary: “I can help you escape the planet,” Mando said sharply, “But I want information in return.” She looked up at him through the small hairs on her face and she whispered, sounding almost lost…As if she didn’t know what else to say… “I have no information.” Something Mando did not believe.

Tags: panic attacks, force sensitive!reader, unprotected PinV sex, smut, mando is a dick, angst, slow burn (romantically), touch starved!din, bickering, arguing, post season 1, fluff, ofc!evangeline, she like doesn’t get off the first time they fuck which i feel like is worth noting, feelings of regret, minor character death (evangeline’s whole fam), follows canon, mando lowkey keeping evangeline against her will but like she’s hiding from the empire so, near death experience(s), the helmet comes off, oral f receiving, blindfolding, shower sex

Somewhere Beautiful by @peetiespetals | 235k

Summary: You have been working as a slave since the demise of your people and destruction of your planet. A stranger passes through your life and you make a bid for freedom, thwarted by the very man who inspired you to reach for it. In a twist of fate, the two of you are thrown together and must learn how to live with each other as the lines between slave and master begin to blur. Can you really tell the difference between duty and devtion?

Tags: smut, fluff and smut, angst, rough sex, bdsm, abandonment, neglect, physical abuse, love stories, shower sex, mutual masturbation, dom/sub undertones, oral sex, shameless smut, praise kink, bondage, biting, slow burn, spanking, orgasm control, orgasm delay/denial, cock warming, master/slave, vaginal fingering, deep throating, breast worship, pussy spanking, ball play, public creampie, edging, anal sex, foot jobs, handcuffs, cock bondage, panties in mouth, aftercare, jealous din djarin, hurt/comfort, overstimulation, strong female characters, hurt no comfort, porn with plot, sexual tension, porn with feelings, canon typical violence, slow romance, fluff and angst, anxiety, manhandling, pov second person, vaginal sex, nipple play, dirty talk, hair pulling

I Think of You by @prolix-yuy | 107k

Summary: A Mandalorian and a woman spend a night together, neither expecting the other to return. But the galaxy works in mysterious ways and many years later, despite a mission and a Creed and the cruelty of their lives, they find each other again and begin a journey of their own.

Tags: graphic smut, drinking, smoking, dirty talk, The Helmet Stays On, safe PiV sex, drinking, suggestive language, canonical-typical violence. mentions of past sexual experiences, angst and yearning, female masturbation, grinding, descriptions of male and female bodies, illness (not graphic), fingering (f receiving), male masturbation, sexy massage, hand kink, mutual masturbation, fingers in mouths, semi-unprotected PiV sex, descriptions of injuries, blood, and medical-ish procedures, allusions to sexual acts, hurt/comfort

Tied by @radiowallet | 26 chapters

Summary: Dr. Din Djarin is the top cardiothoracic surgeon in his field. His work is meticulous, his judgment unquestionable. And then he get’s a new first assist, who couldn’t give two shits about anyone’s reputation.

Tags: Smut, Cursing, Graphic violence, some questionable power dynamics.

Take Me to Church by @frannyzooey | 31 chapters

Summary: Set in a brothel in the late 1800’s in the Wild West, you’ve only been working there for a month when Din Djarin shows up. A bounty hunter who makes stops into town between jobs, he is known at the inn for his generous appetite and demanding preferences. Asking for you one night, he is pleased to learn you are well suited for him: your sweet nature soothing to his gruff temperament and surprising him with your ability to handle his rougher tastes. Demanding that you be made available to him every time he is in town, neither one of you is ready for where this request leads.

Tags: MFF, oral sex (female/male receiving), vaginal sex, dirty talk, mentions of murder, rope play, mutual masturbation, idk man lots of smut

Losing My Religion by @oonajaeadira | 108k

Summary: A Mandalorian comes looking for you with an assignment from an old friend, sending you on a mission and a union that you both need.

Tags: Smut, canon-typical violence, post-season two canon, reader is force sensitive, alternating point of view, angst, fluff, yearning, mind control, injuries, mourning a lost spouse, alcohol, feelings of betrayal, touch starvation, implied masturbation, kissing, bounty hunter kink, grinding and fingering, Mando'a language

A Shade That's New by FallenFern (AO3) | 111k

Summary: After Mando and Grogu part he goes back to bounty hunting. But its not enough. Desperate to feel again Mando accepts a more dangerous line of work. He joins your small crew on a new job, putting you in close proximity wether you like it or not. Wary of anyone, especially Mandalorians, you try to keep him at arms length. After all, anyone and everyone could be an enemy and you were going to treat him like one.Yeah, thats lasts long…

Tags: OFC!Shade, described as smaller than Mando, curly or wavy hair, able bodied, can blush/flush, Alternating 2nd Person POV. Smut, making shit up, not canon, after grogu and AU, emotional pain, plot with porn, enemies to lovers, slow burn, trauma, sexual tension, action and romance, blood and injury, blood kink, the helmet stays on, but it also comes off, blindfold, light bondage, sexual assualt, threats of rape (not by Mando), praise kink, begging, semi public sex, blaster kink, cock warming, daddy mando, oral sex (f and m receiving), smut marathon, I’ll kill anyone that touches you trope, demanding mando, comfort sex, minor character death, betrayal, mando to the rescue, revenge, reunion sex, say my name trope, edge play, rough sex, throat grabbing but not exactly choking

Scars and All by plaidamoosette (AO3) | 123k

Summary: Hidden away in the desert land of Jakku, you are slowly chipping away at the debt that you and your mother had accumulated following the death of your father to the horrible Denga Niima. But, after the recent passing of your mother, the debt has fallen on your shoulders. Using your skills as a mechanical engineer, you accumulate wealth for your slave master in the hopes that one day you will be free. Free to explore and live as your parents had always wished for you. But things change when you meet a certain bounty hunter when he comes to you to repair his ship. But, nothing is as it seems, and as the lies that were built around your life begin to crumble, you find yourself sucked into a journey of truth, betrayal, and... love.

Tags: Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Canon-Typical Violence, Angst, Drama, Deceased Parents, Indentured Servitude, Soft Din Djarin, Soft Dominant Din Djarin, POV Alternating, Din Djarin Removes the Helmet, Protective Din Djarin, Intimidation, Male Masturbation, Touch-Starved, Loss of Virginity, MC doesn't know how to take care of herself, Female Masturbation, Burried Trauma, Readers knows how to fight back, Mandalorians (Star Wars), Mandalorian Culture & Customs (Star Wars), Some Canon material, A whole lot of other made up stuff

Back to You by @kyberblade | 231k

Summary: You’ve been friends with Mando for years, and he drops by your hole in the wall bar from time to time to catch up. This time, however, he’s carrying an extra little green passenger with him. They are on the run, which is unsettling because Mando doesn’t run from things. Things run from him. A tracking fob, a dead body, and a confession later, all three of you set out to help the child find it’s kind. (Aka: a really typical Din x Force Sensitive reader plot, but instead of the going from stiff scary Mando to friendly Mando it’s gonna kinda go the opposite way. Not in a bad way but she’s gonna finally get to see what exactly he was running from all those times he came back to see her.)

Tags: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Angst, Humor, Friends to Lovers, Introspection, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Romantic Friendship, Emotions, Grogu | Baby Yoda Being a Little Shit, Din Djarin Needs a Hug, Protective Din Djarin, Good Parent Din Djarin, Soft Din Djarin, Force-Sensitive Reader, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Spicy thoughts, but no smut

Frankie Morales

Between the Raindrops by Jazzelsaur (AO3) | 148k

Summary: Two lives fall apart, then together. A journey told in parts and pieces. Frankie’s life is coming apart at the seams, when Ellie, a widow facing her own share of struggles, moves in next door. Together they find friendship, healing, and something more.

Tags: Widowed reader, divorced frankie, neighbors to friends to lovers, grief, mourning, angst, masturbation, pining, allusions to sex, eventual smut, slow burn, past drug use, alcohol, infertility, miscarriage mention, ptsd, handjobs, oral sex, smut, food, strained friendships, healing, allusions to verbal abuse, angst with a happy ending, idiots in lovedivorced!Frankie, widow!OC/reader, no one has kids, slow burn with great spicy scenes, smut! with plot

Sex Worker!Frankie AU by @prolix-yuy | 21 chapters

Summary: You’d never thought you’d be sitting on a hotel room bed, phone to your ear as you waited for someone on the other end to pick up. After a messy divorce you wanted something to ease the pain of loneliness. That something just happens to be the most gorgeous man you’ve ever seen, even if you had to pay for him.

Tags: Sex Worker!Frankie, implied other Triple Frontier Boys!Sex Workers, watch me make up shit about sex work, descriptions of male and female bodies, oral sex (F receiving), like super descriptive oral (there might be over 2500 words dedicated to Frankie’s talents), female masturbation, fingering (f receiving), safe PiV sex, a touch of Feral Frankie, one ass slap, fingers in mouths, some angst and feelings sprinkled in there for flavor.

Frankie Morales Box Set by @frannyzooey | 20 chapters

Summary: A series of one shots in which Frankie Morales shows you just how much he likes movie night.

Tags: oral, PIV, cum eating, hand job, cockwarming, mutual masturbation, dirty talk, thigh riding, dry humping, lots of other shit

Javier Peña

Lie to Me by @iamskyereads | 151.8k

Summary: A recent transfer to the DEA from the FBI makes you a target of hazing from your co-workers. Choosing to forget your bad first day at a bar puts you on a path towards meeting a new acquaintance. An expert on deception and psychological profiling, you are adept at catching liars. What happens when an increasingly stressful work environment begins to test the limits of your personal life and the one man at the center of it all, Javier Peña? Afterall, everybody lies about something. But how many are you keeping from yourself?

Tags: An AU of Season 3 of Narcos.Language, Alcohol/Drinking, Smoking, POV Switches, assholery, office pranks/hazing, hatin on the FBI and the DEA too, but we all hate on the CIA the most, Praise Kink, Dirty Talk, thigh grinding, PIV sex, soft Javi, Pining, Sexual Frustration, Use of A Sex Toy, Edging, Oral Sex, Canon-Typical Violence, Guns, police raids, Parallel plots to the show, Smut, sloppy blowjobs, Shower Sex, Social Anxiety, Nightmares, Rough Sex, spitting, Semi-Public Sex, Office Sex, Love in an Elevator, death of background characters, kidnapping of background characters, Shootouts, Masturbation, Breeding Kink, discussions of fertility, kink negotiations, Spanking, Brat behavior, Mild D/s vibes, Creampie, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Sex in a Church, Unprotected Sex, TacVest!Javi, Orgasm Denial, Angst with a Happy Ending, Period-Typical Sexism, Hospital, scar, accident of background characters, historical classism/sexism/racism, Grief/Mourning, Body Insecurities, Cockwarming, threats of kidnapping reader, light teasing, Flirting

Learning to Live by @wheresarizona | 382k

Summary: While grocery shopping, you happen across a handsome man confused by some produce. Coming to his aid leads to an invitation for drinks, and next thing you know, you’re falling head over heels for Javier Peña—a good man who has trouble believing he is. Sparks fly when you meet and ignite an insatiable need that you both try to fight for the sake of taking things slow; Javi determined to do things right by you. The problem is, the two of you only have so much self-control.

Tags: Post-Colombia and Narcos S3, Story Starts in June 1998.POV Alternating, Soft Javier Peña, Meet-Cute, First Dates, Javier Peña Needs a Hug, Whirlwind Romance, Javier Getting the Love and Happiness He Deserves, Javier Is Stubborn At First, Javier Peña in Love, Javier Being a Consent King, Multiple Orgasms, Vaginal Fingering, Dirty Talk, Praise Kink, Hand Jobs, Come Eating, Phone Sex, Mutual Masturbation, Vaginal Sex, Creampie, Cunnilingus, Blow Jobs, Edgeplay, Body Worship, Shower Sex, Biting Javis Butt, Deepthroating, Biting, Javier Coming So Hard His Soul Leaves His Body, Spanking, Car Sex, Dry Humping, Public Thigh Riding, Face-Sitting, Dirty Dancing, Post-Sex Smoking, Aftercare, Feelings, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Slow Dancing, Protective Javier Peña, Jealous Javier Peña, Getting Tipsy With Javier, Javier In Grey Sweatpants, Alcohol, Small Towns, Food, Road Trips, Post-Canon, Face-Fucking, Breeding, Rimming, Anal Play, Romantic Comedy, Cockwarming, Grief/Mourning, past relationship trauma, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Horseback Riding, Love Confessions, Miscommunication, Arguing, Angst with a Happy Ending, Period-Typical Sexism, Canon Typical Drug Talk, Nude Photos, Overstimulation, Dysfunctional Family

Just Dumb Enough to Try by @whatsnewalycat | 108k

Summary: In 1993, you met Javier Peña in San Antonio. You made an emotional and physical connection with him. Now it’s 1998 and you’re starting a new chapter of life in Laredo with your fiancé. And who else walks back into the picture, but the man who left you high and dry five years ago.

Tags: alcohol use, Binge Drinking, Swearing, Recreational Drug Use, Cigarettes, Voyeurism, Smut, Bisexual main character, Touch-Starved, Female Masturbation, Vaginal Sex, Unprotected Sex, Dirty Talk, Teasing, Flirting, Mutual Pining, Cheating, Infidelity, Sexual Tension, Attempt at Humor, Soft Javier Peña, Movie Nerd Shit, use of daddy in a sexual context, Vulnerable Javier Peña, Angst and Feels, Family Issues, Mostly Post Season 3, Existential Crisis, Banter, Mental Health Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, friends to lovers to friends to lovers, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff and Humor, Oral Sex, Slow Burn, No beta idk I just got here, Fluff and Smut, Not Canon Compliant, Impact Play, Pain Kink, Domestic Violence, Praise Kink, Unplanned Pregnancy, Breeding Kink, Blood and Violence, Mild Gore, Kidnapping

Joel Miller

Feelings on Fire by @joelscruff | 110k

Summary: Back from school for the summer and staying with your devout Catholic parents, you ask Joel Miller to teach you guitar as an act of rebellion. Turns out, there's a lot more that he wants to teach you too...

Tags: Smut, age gap (reader is in her 20s, Joel is in his mid 50s), inexperienced/virgin reader, loss of virginity, corruption, mentions of religion/Catholicism, praise kink, pet names (babygirl, sweetheart, darling), dirty talk, masturbation, unprotected penetrative vaginal sex, creampies, cumplay, oral sex (female and male receiving), exhibitionism, size kink

Lavender by @justagalwhowrites | 253k

Summary: You're a college student in Austin, Texas, who gets a summer job nannying Sarah Miller. It's not long before her dad sees you as more than a babysitter - or more than a friend. But life - and an apocalypse - have other plans.

Tags: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Pre-Canon, Friends to Lovers, Protective Joel, Parent Joel, Joel is Bad at Feelings, Soft Joel, Fluff and Smut, Fluff, Angst, Smut, Vaginal Sex, Oral Sex, Loss of Virginity, Miscarriage, Sexual Coercion

Closer by @beardedjoel | 193k

Summary: you are staying with your parents, helping them move into their new house in austin. what happens when joel miller, the attractive neighbor you've been eyeing obsessively starts to show you some much wanted attention?

Tags: smut, age difference (joel is 42 and reader is 25), porn with some plot, inexperienced reader, soft!dom joel, boyfriend! joel, possessive! joel, mutual masturbation, rough sex, spanking, creampie, unprotected piv, oral (m + f receiving), dirty talk, overstimulation kink, praise kink, so many pet names it’s not even funny, consensual somnophilia, cockwarming

Yearling by @justagalwhowrites | 186k (as of ch 27)

Summary: After years of surviving in the wilds of Wyoming after the cordyceps outbreak, you find yourself in Jackson. It's a town filled with friendly faces and the kind of world you hardly remember, let alone can connect with or understand. But one man - Joel Miller, another loner, like you - makes you think that trying to find your place in society again might be worth it.

Tags: Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Protective Joel, Parent Joel, Angst, Soft Joel, Smut, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Past Sexual Abuse, Friends to Lovers

Hot and Heavy by @tieronecrush | 130k

Summary: Over the course of three summers, Joel Miller has become woven into the fabric of your life. You nanny his daughter, sneaking around in an illicit love affair. You keep coming home, and he keeps coming back to you. The last summer, you're home with no plans of leaving—and Joel seeks you out again. What chances do you have?

Tags: Neighbor!Joel, age gap, canon-divergence, no outbreak, alcohol consumption, mentions of food, pet names (sweetheart), familial and self pressure, reader is in college, nanny!reader, smut

Dave York

Notes on Tutoring by @honestly-shite | 189.9k

Summary: Mr. York becomes your new classical guitar tutor in your final year at music college. A dark, mysterious man, you struggle to get a read on him but that doesn’t stop you from finding many ways to push his buttons.

Tags: Smut, alternate universe, music college, age gap, teacher/student relationship, slow burn, PiV sex, power dynamics, angst, pining, alcohol and drinking

Dieter Bravo

Recovery Road by @chronically-ghosted | 108k

Summary: Dieter Bravo is on his last chance. Six months out of a two year stint in rehab, his marriage on the rocks, and his starlight fading, he reunites with an old director friend on a project that might save his career and his personal life in a single go. Enter Natalie Lorraine, his new enigmatic co-star. Together, they go on to lead a film that comes to define a generation – and are both mysteriously absent the night the film receives an Oscar for Best Picture. Their reasons for missing such a landmark event are their own.

Tags: Smut, age gap (Dieter is 35, reader is 22), drug usage, alcohol, smoking, infidelity, discussions of addiction and withdrawal, toxic relationships, masturbation, pining, angst, anxiety and anxiety attacks, mental illness, bad coping mechanisms, named reader, descriptions of reader's hair, bi!Dieter

Psychomanteum by @whatsnewalycat | 132.7k

Summary: You’ve recently taken on the customer-facing responsibilities of the small-scale cannabis bakery you and your late husband ran out of your apartment, which introduces you to occasional customer, Dieter Bravo. A friendship is sparked when you realize you have something in common: you’ve both died. What Dieter doesn’t tell you about his near-death experience, though, is that it foretold his life with you.

Tags: Smut (including - alternating power dynamics, consensual unprotected sex, penetrative vaginal sex, oral sex, anal sex), gried, alternating point of view, physical descriptions of OFC (including - tattoos, scars, being lifted by Dieter), drug use (including - smoking cannabis and consuming edibles, dropping acid, drinking alcohol, cocaine and morphine use), substance abuse, addiction, fame & paparazzi, canon divergent, suicidal thoughts and planning, divorce, near-death experiences, Bi4Bi romance, supernatural elements, ghosts and psychomanteums, spirituality, drag performance, long-distance relationship, friends to lovers dynamic, OFC is infertile, familial and relationship trauma - please refer to chapters for all warnings.

For the Love of Horror by @coulsons-fullmetal-cellist | 80 chapters

Summary: Dieter meets and falls in love with someone who absolutely loves horror films. The problem is, he's a big scaredy cat!

Tags: loose fit series, series of one shots and drabbles, tags on each chapter

Oberyn Martell

In Name Only by @forever-rogue | 21 chapters

Summary: Reader, the only daughter of late Lord and Lady Beesbury, is sent off to be married to Prince Oberyn Martell. After having been parted from her first love by her horrid mother, she refuses to marry a man she does not know or love and be pushed into a life of misery. But after threat of being cut off from everything she knew and loved, she finds herself leaving her home in Honeyholt and arriving in Sunspear, married to the Prince. Being the charming and kind Prince he is, Oberyn promises her that it does not have to be a true marriage, it can be a marriage in name only. Little does the newly anointed Lady Martell know, that being married to the Prince is so much more than she bargained for.

Tags: Smut, language, fluff, kissing, period-typical misogyny, angst, sensual touching, mentions of violence and injury, discussions of pregnancy, mentions of death

Jack "Whiskey" Daniels

Down the Rabbit-Hole by @absurdthirst, @wardenparker | 208k

Summary: When Jack accidentally shoots a civilian on a mission he takes on not only the guilt of the man’s death, but inherits his soulmate as well. To you, it’s a dream job with more perks than you can imagine - but for Jack it’s a nightmarish complication. Even more so when he starts to develop feelings.

Tags: mentions of deceased spouse, a lot of food and alcohol consumption, family recipes, age gap, cursing, Canon typical violence, Death, gun use, angst, Jack has a temper and Tequila has a dumb first name, Making Out, a bit of groping, heavy flirting, sexy shower time, a whole truck load of anger, Fisticuffs, a bunch of angry people being upset with each other, Kidnapping, Torture, burning victim with cigarettes, Broken Bones, a whole lot of gun pointing and talk about murder, medicine by injection, oral sex (f and m receiving), Outdoor Sex, Public Sex, Unprotected Sex, Vaginal Sex, Cream Pie, Cum Play, Anxiety, Accidental Hurt, panic attack (symptoms based on my own personal experiences), intrusive/racing thoughts, physical symptoms of anxiety, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Guilt, Possible Unwanted Pregnancy, Lies, Nausea/Illness, Talk of Abortion, canon typical injuries, Family Planning, Mentions of Sex Toys, Lingerie, Spanking, rough sex, Flirty and somewhat explicit banter, Pregnancy, Discussion of symptoms, Mood Swings, cemetery/deceased loved ones, speaking to deceased loved ones

Pedro Across The Street (Calls)

Good. Things. Take. Time. by @oonajaeadira | 22 chapters

Summary: PATS is a massage therapist with special services. Or so he claims. He gives you a three-hour session you’re both going to enjoy.

Tags: Explicit marathon wall to wall smut, masseuse!PATS, sex worker!PATS.

Din Djarin x Joel Miller

Cosmic Oddities by fromthewhales (AO3) | 106k

Summary: Turning a clan of two into a clan of four and asking the very important, albeit unhinged question: What if space dad and apocalypse dad were Weird About Each Other?

Tags: parental bonding, parallels, angst, everyone has issues, everyone needs a hug, touch starved din djarin, injuries, strangers to ??? to lovers, smashing the space western and the zombie western together like 2 ken dolls, trauma, crack-fic adjacent at times, hurt/comfort, soft not super explicit smut, self harm, found family, din djarin eventually removes the helmet, blindfold, long distance relationship, survivors guilt, angst with a happy ending, non sexual intimacy, it gets worse before it gets better, alcohol mention, game II canon divergent — but boy does it come close, canon typical violence, minor character death, major character injury, bi!din djarin, bi!joel miller

Various

The Infinity Cube by @littlemisspascal | 20 chapters

Summary: When you play with a strange cube, you’re transported out of your current reality with your boyfriend Marcus into brand new ones starring alternate versions of your boyfriend who look and act entirely different every time. With each encounter, you start to wonder if you’ll ever make it back to your real universe?

Tags: language, fluff, angst

#fic recs #the spreadsheet digest #fanfiction recommendations #pedro pascal #pedro pascal character fanfiction #ppcu fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfiction #the spreadsheet outtakes #outtakes

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creedslove · 1 year ago

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hii i'm the anon that has been obsessed to with dave too (you can call me dilf lover 😭😭🫡) but I have not forgot abt our husband joel, what about joel and reader being in a bar, he goes to the bathroom, and some jerk flirts with her, she screams for joel and joel comes outa nowhere and hits the man(?) and then he comforts you ( and maybe have passionate sex in the couch) that ends up in cuddles??😭

No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

A/N: I love Joel so much 🥺

• being with Joel meant you both were an attractive couple, which also meant that eventually some guy would flirt with you and some skank would flirt with your man

• overall, you both just thought it was amusing, being confident you would never exchange the connection you had with each other over some random person's flirt

• one of your favorite activities were definitely show some PDA in front of whoever tried flirting with one of you, it helped spice up the relationship a little bit

• however, you had to admit that female flirtation towards Joel was very often harmless, compared to what some guys did, because some of them were just pushy and insisting and they would only stop if Joel got in the middle of it, and not when you simply showed you weren't interested

• which was what happened that night you two were out for a couple of drinks: it had been a tiring week and you both decided you deserved some time off just to unwind and relax; it was a warm and pleasant evening and you both thought it was a nice idea to go to a bar, that way you could grab a drink, a bite to eat, enjoy each other's company and listen to some music

• and the moment you set foot at that bar, you noticed a guy shooting his gaze at you, which didn't bother you one bit because you had Joel by your side but still, it was a little uncomfortable to be stared at like that for a while

• and yet, you shrugged it off and paid attention to your boyfriend, Joel was in a good mood, he was acting so sweet and flirty towards you it was the perfect mix that made your heart melt and your thighs press against each other

• so when Joel excused himself to go to the restroom, you nodded and blew him a kiss, finishing your burger in one bite and checking up your phone really quickly just to distract yourself a little

• and it was when that guy walked towards you; you didn't know him, he wasn't ugly but well, he wasn't Joel either therefore you weren't interested and it showed

• and you not only showed it, you said it out loud. Repeatedly and the guy simply kept insisting and insisting which made you uncomfortable and angry

• but the worst part was when he grabbed your arm and tried to drag you out of the table, you'd had enough, but he was stronger than you and you wouldn't stand a chance, so you called for Joel, since he was already making his way back to your table

• and your boyfriend was furious, I mean it, he was glaring daggers at the guy and spitting fire and any kind of attempt to be civil and simply talk things through died the moment he saw the man's grip on you

• Joel didn't think twice, he punched him because no one, and I mean it, no one messes up with his girl

• and of course it quickly became a commotion, so Joel paid the check and took you home

• when you both got home, he was incredibly sweet, assuring you things were alright and that he loved you; he also worried a little bit about you being scared of his reaction or thinking it was too much, but luckily that wasn't the case, you immediately cuddled up to him and snuggled your man

• you took his right hand and caressed and kisses his knuckles, showing you were thankful for his protection, even if you were feeling a little upset that jackass had ruined your evening with your man, you were also thankful to have Joel in your life

• he kissed your lips in return, and pulled you closer and with both of your hands caressing your bodies, it didn't take long for you to make love on your couch, after all, you loved each other and nothing and no one could break you two apart 💖

____

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal headcanon #pedro pascal headcanons #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #joel miller headcanons #joel miller headcanon

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illuminatedquill · 1 year ago

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Sabine Wren & Ahsoka Tano (Quick Analysis)

Fear is The Path

Alright, let's get into it.

For this post we're going to take a look into the Master/Apprentice relationship between Ahsoka Tano and Sabine Wren. Specifically, I'm going to be looking into why Ahsoka felt it necessary to walk away from Sabine's training as a Jedi.

In Ahsoka, we're pointed to a major historical event known as the Great Purge of Mandalore being the catalyst; the Empire carpet bombing the planet surface, killing millions of Mandalorians, scattering the remaining survivors to the stars and, for Sabine, causing the loss of her entire family: Alrich Wren (father), Countess Ursa Wren (mother), and Tristan Wren (brother).

Ahsoka, for reasons only known to herself, abandoned Sabine's Jedi training shortly after this event. We're given some insight via Huyang in Ahsoka 1x08, however:

Huyang: Ahsoka became afraid that Sabine was training to be a Jedi for the wrong reasons after what happened on Mandalore. Ezra: Which was? Huyang: At the end of the war, the Empire purged the entire surface of the planet, killing hundreds of thousands. Ezra: Her family? Huyang: Were all lost, sadly. At the time, Ahsoka felt that if Sabine unlocked her potential, she would become dangerous.

However, it's clear that Huyang doesn't have the full picture of the fallout between Ahsoka and Sabine. Sabine herself only has her own warped view of why Ahsoka left, as evidenced by Baylan's manipulation in Ahsoka 1x04:

Baylan: I know you feel that Ezra Bridger is the only family you have left. Your family died on Mandalore . . . because your Master didn't trust you.

Piecing together the, admittedly, few clues we have paints the picture that Ahsoka prevented Sabine from helping her family during the Purge - which led to their deaths.

It's understandable that Sabine would have been outraged; both at the loss of her family, her people, her way of life and also at her Master who, for whatever reason, did not want Sabine present on Mandalore to save her family.

Until Dave Filoni reveals the exact details of what happened during that event, we're left with speculation. My personal take is simply this: Ahsoka did not want Sabine to die alongside her family. It's what makes the most amount of sense to me.

Ahsoka cares about Sabine, like any Master would do for their student.

So - Sabine loses everything and begins to take steps towards a turn to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering, as Master Yoda says. Ahsoka, sensing this dark rage bloom in her student, decides to stop the training out of fear that Sabine becomes another Vader.

Except. That doesn't make any sense to me.

Because Ahsoka Tano is who she is.

Ahsoka survived her own Purge. The fall of the Jedi Order, her home, and the institution that she pledged most of her life to, the only family she had ever known.

Ahsoka knows this pain. She is, arguably, the best suited to steer Sabine away from a potential turn to the Dark Side after her student loses everything in the same way that she did.

Actress Rosario Dawson - and backed up by the hat man himself - has stated that Ahsoka has had plenty of opportunities to turn to the Dark Side. She's fought through two Galactic Civil Wars, seen everyone she loved die, and has been betrayed by the people she fought so hard to protect.

And, yet, Ahsoka Tano never turned. She stayed on her path, long and winding as it may be, and continued to serve the Light in the best way she knew how.

At some point, she takes on Sabine as a Padawan, seeing echoes of Anakin in her. Yes, there's the anger and the recklessness there that makes Ahsoka uneasy, but that's always been a part of Sabine's character. It's nothing new. She decided to take Sabine Wren as her apprentice, anyway, and it worked fine until the Purge.

So, what happened? What changed? What was the growing darkness in her Padawan that convinced Ahsoka Tano that the best course of action was to abandon the Jedi training - abandon Sabine entirely - at a time when she needed counseling the most?

Attachment. Sabine's attachment to Ezra.

Dave Filoni and the actress for Sabine Wren, the fantastic Natasha Liu Bordizzo, have both pointed out that there are echoes of Anakin in Sabine. In separate interviews, both spoke about the anger and recklessness in Sabine - but, more interesting, they did not acknowledge the major factor in Anakin's downfall.

Anakin's attachment to his loved ones. His inability to let go.

It's bizarre that they didn't talk about this and I suspect that it's on purpose. Because that is arguably the biggest reason why Anakin fell to the Dark Side. The anger and the recklessness were all symptoms of this larger issue for Anakin Skywalker.

And Ahsoka Tano sensed the same in Sabine Wren.

Let's look at evidence from another Filoni series, The Mandalorian. From episode 2x05, The Jedi, when Ahsoka is re-introduced into the Star Wars universe.

There's a pivotal moment when she meets Grogu and Force communes with him to get a sense of his history.

She senses "great fear and anger" in him at the beginning; it makes her wary, of course, but it doesn't seem to perturb her.

However, when Din asks if she can teach him, Ahsoka flatly rejects the idea for this reason:

youtube

What she says is vitally important:

Ahsoka: His attachment to you makes him vulnerable to his fears. His anger. Din: All the more reason to train him. Ahsoka: No. I've seen what such feelings can do to a fully trained Jedi Knight. To the best of us.

That's where Ahsoka draws the line in the sand; it's not the anger that scares her - it's Grogu's attachment to Din.

And, mind you, the timeline of this episode occurs after Ahsoka and Sabine had their split. So, even though she's clearly referencing Anakin here, I don't doubt that Sabine is also on her mind.

Think about it. Sabine has just lost everything - except for Ezra. The anger is something Ahsoka can deal with, but Sabine's attachment to Ezra is not; she knows it's the primary reason for Anakin's downfall and she was powerless to stop it.

That's what drives Ahsoka away. That is what scares her. She couldn't be there for Anakin, was blind to what was happening; and now, it's happening with Sabine.

The only path Ahsoka can see forward is to leave Sabine; prevent her Padawan from reaching full potential. It's an awful course to take and it leaves Sabine stranded, feeling alone, at a time when she needed mentorship and guidance the most.

But it's all Ahsoka can think of. She cares about Sabine and is too blinded by her own fears to believe in her own ability to stop Sabine from falling into the same darkness that took Anakin.

Sabine only has Ezra now with Ahsoka gone. He's the only one she can save now, the only one she can do anything for. The loss of her family has caused her attachment, her feelings for Ezra, to sharpen into something deadly: possessiveness. The exact feeling that Jedi warned against.

Why didn't Ahsoka stop this from happening earlier?

Because this is Sabine and Ezra; we know Sabine and Ezra were close, as did Ahsoka. It's probable that Sabine's feelings were gradually heading in this direction and the Purge just gave it a decisive push to the inevitable conclusion.

Ahsoka, also, presumably knew how Sabine felt the entire time and didn't want to have an honest talk with her Padawan about it.

Because it's Sabine and Ahsoka herself was still operating under the influence of Anakin's legacy as Vader; she was scared to bring it out into the open, because she didn't know what to do if her fears were confirmed about Sabine's feelings.

I mean, it's obvious that this isn't the first time they've probably talked about this, as evidenced by this scene in Ahsoka 1x04:

youtube

Ahsoka knows. She comes the closest in this scene, out of everyone else in Sabine's life, to directly confront Sabine about her true feelings for her old friend.

She knows that there's more going on underneath the surface of Sabine regarding her feelings towards Ezra. It's not a conversation she wants to have in this moment (just look at the body language), but there's no other choice - not with the stakes this high.

There is no way that this is the first time Ahsoka has broached the subject about Ezra with her Padawan and, knowing Sabine, she probably walked away from every attempt a little more worried.

But Ahsoka refused to really have that open conversation with Sabine, settling only for these half-hearted comments and, in doing so, set up her student for failure. Sabine was unprepared; had no way of being vigilant towards her worst enemy - herself.

Ahsoka's actions, caused by fear of herself and Anakin's legacy, left Sabine vulnerable to her feelings.

They had been growing all this time and now, with no one to temper them, were allowed to become something more - something dangerous.

The Purge happened. Sabine's family died. Her people died. Mandalore was lost.

After that, Sabine had nothing left to lose. Her attachment to Ezra, her love for him - it made her vulnerable to her fear. Just as Ahsoka feared it would.

Sabine couldn't lose Ezra. Her love for him - her fear of losing him, like her family - dictated that no sacrifice was too great; no cost, too high.

And Baylan used it as the perfect weapon against her. "Do it. For Ezra."

We know the rest.

Sabine gambled. The galaxy lost.

Fear won.

#sabezra #sabine wren #ezra bridger #star wars rebels #ezrabine #star wars #ahsoka show #ahsoka tano #ahsoka meta #natasha liu bordizzo #ursa wren #alrich wren #tristan wren #clan wren #anakin skywalker #dave filoni

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impossibleprincess35 · 5 months ago

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Hello, I'm watching the clone wars again. and it had not caught my attention satine kryze until now, could you explain to me about his personality and character. Thank you for reading

Hi there!

Factually, Satine Kryze is the Duchess of Mandalore, and she is a pacifist, representing the New Mandalorians who have turned from the violent ways of their past. Without bias, it's pretty safe to say that she has a relatively high approval rating among her people, and she has done some incredible work rebuilding Mandalore following years of civil war among her people. Famously, Satine does not align Mandalore with the Republic or the Separatists in the Clone Wars, and instead, forms the Council of Neutral Systems, for other leaders who also eschew taking sides in the conflict. She is the daughter of a warlord (Duke Adonai Kryze, though other than his name, we know little of), and she has a sister, Bo-Katan Kryze, and a nephew, Korkie Kryze.

There are lots of little crumbs of information that Dave Filoni, Pablo Hidalgo, and one or two others involved in the making of "The Clone Wars" have dropped over the years in regards to things such as the age difference between Satine and Bo-Katan, and if there is another Kryze sibling to explain the nephew (who, it has been confirmed, is not Bo-Katan's child), but basically, nothing is established as canon, so we're all out there theorizing our asses off. :)

Also, when she was younger, she was put in the protection of Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn and his padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi, for a year. During this time, she and Obi-Wan fell in love, but they went their separate ways, choosing Mandalore and the Jedi Order over each other. (It's canon that she nicknamed him "Ben." Also, a big fan theory is that Korkie Kryze is actually Obi-Wan's son, but it's not canon, so.. *shrugs*)

All this being said, Satine's fascinating. She's haughty, she's ill-tempered, she's snippy, but she's also compassionate and she's scrappy. She loves Mandalore fiercely, enough to take principled stances that make her unpopular with the rest of the galaxy, and she shows mercy to even domestic terrorists who bomb her city.

In my humble opinion, she is a vastly complex character that deserves so much more exploration, but because there's very little about her in canon aside from her episodes in TCW and a few small mentions in books, most of what you'll find is fandom content.

But those who love her love her dearly, and those who hate her really fucking hate her, and you'll find most people feel strongly one way or the other.

Thanks for the ask and I hope this helps! If not, or if you have anything further, don't hesitate to reach out! I'm happy to answer/help/guide you in the right direction! :)

#asks answered #satine kryze #duchess satine

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lboogie1906 · 5 months ago

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Marietta Cooper Bryant (June 28, 1911 - October 14, 2004) was an Arizona educator and civil rights activist known for fighting for her right to teach in integrated classrooms before the SCOTUS case, Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka.

Born in Iconium, Oklahoma, not much is known about her early life. Documents reveal that she earned a BS in Home Economics from Oklahoma’s Colored Agricultural and Normal University.

She married Dave Bryant. After WWII, they moved to Miami, Arizona. She had obtained an Arizona teaching certificate and was offered a position at the Thomas Jefferson School for colored children in the Globe-Miami district.

She was a full-time tenured teacher with a contract, newly-passed legislation created a loophole. Teachers were initially protected by Arizona’s Tenure Law that stated teachers could not be unfairly dismissed from positions. The law stated that dismissals could be put forth if there was “good and just cause.” On March 15, 1951, a desegregation law was signed by Arizona Gov. Howard Pyle. Only three days before, they were told that their contracts would not be renewed. Colored children were being integrated into white public schools, but colored teachers were not being hired to teach in those schools.

They requested hearings with their respective school boards to argue against the unjust terminations. Their appeals were denied. The teachers sought the assistance of the Arizona Education Association, which hired legal representation for the teachers. The Gila County Superior Court ruled in favor of the teachers. The school boards appealed but lost. Both teachers were reinstated in 1952 and received a year’s back pay. She took a position teaching penmanship to grades 4-8 at the Bullion Plaza Elementary School in Miami, Arizona, where she remained until she retired.

She was inducted into the Arizona Women’s Hall of Fame posthumously. #africanhistory365 #africanexcellence

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boltlightning · 1 year ago

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So, Pinterest found out my love for Jorrington. However it showed me some other aesthetic scenes of AWE. Which makes me wonder, if he was still alive and survived, or perhaps kept alive by David Jonathan.

What side do YOU think he would be on in the stand off, why, and what would his response be?

Does this differ to you depending on how he would be alive (escapee or enslaved by Dave Johns)

I imagine angles could be: Civil yet sassy, violent either by skill or having more numbers, obedient (to whomever is his leader).

david jonathan..............

i've definitely thought about this an inordinate amount, and my biases are on fully display as i say norrington would be at elizabeth's side, or at least hovering behind her glowering, when dealing at the parlay.

i've gone through a lot of mental turbulence over a version of events where norrington ends up a pirate, because it's so antithetical to what he stands for both as a vessel of themes and a character with feelings, i have a hard time wrapping my head around it. i think he needed to die in the canon narrative. HOWEVER. i think there's a lot of good theme resolution if he metaphorically dies on the dutchman to save elizabeth, survives and escapes with her, and casts out his former self to become a pirate, even if just to kill cutler beckett in revenge. it's more about loyalty to elizabeth and revenge than it is actually believing in what the pirates stand for than anything, but even getting to that point requires a major ego death.

for all that the title is hollow, norrington is an admiral and a lifelong seaman. he could outgambit beckett in a fleet vs armada situation, were the fleet at his disposal not a pirate fleet, and i think he'd have real valuable input at the parlay...just nothing he'd want to reveal out of hand, like everyone else.

(more thoughts below this got out of hand)

furthermore: consider that the pearl and dutchman have their final standoff during a maelstrom. his canonical ego death happened while chasing the pearl into a hurricane; if he follows elizabeth, he can help steer the pearl out of a storm to safety. the bookends! the parallels!!!

in this consideration i do imagine he's somewhere between the snarky-yet-stuffy cotbp and scruffy-and-blunt dmc norringtons, as you say. that's a great read, and a fun little thought experiment about who he is without the blade of duty/expectation hanging over his neck. civil with a sharp tongue and little reason to hold it back, but with renewed purpose and less of a vendetta against the world at large.

tldr: swap out his literal death with a metaphorical one and he'd follow elizabeth anywhere, especially to battle

(not to self-promo on an ask from a friend but i did write a 20k fic about this very subject; i'd change some stuff now but the bulk of my thoughts are in this big ass thesis. thank you for your time now back to the show)

although..........i am thinking very hard about the idea that he, like jones, is still being forced into service here? like maybe beckett keeps swann as a hostage not to keep elizabeth compliant, but to keep norrington compliant, to make sure the dutchman follows orders in the big fight.

(aside: i don't think norrington fears death or would want to live as anyone besides himself, so he'd never accept jones' offer of undeath unless it was to protect someone else from the same fate. hmm hmm much to consider)

either way: beckett brings norrington to the parlay just to flaunt "look how many of your people i have in my charge! haha!" maybe norrington is trying to drop hints to elizabeth that her father is still alive during the parlay, but she's focused on will being there ALSO trying to drop hints, and it gets messy fast.

having received confirmation that everyone ignores the puppet admiral and uses him for leverage, norrington frees both jack AND governor swann and escapes into the narrative. or something. hmm i'll workshop it

this is a very interesting idea!!! thank you so much for the ask

#local girl has written thousands and thousands of words about this guy and still can't use his first name because we're not personal friends #anyway. thank you again!!!!!!!!! i hope this suffices #always happy to field hypotheticals like this i love to talk #replies #homelesspersonchic

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mostlysignssomeportents · 2 years ago

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Ireland's privacy regulator is a gamekeeper-turned-poacher

This Saturday (May 20), I’ll be at the GAITHERSBURG Book Festival with my novel Red Team Blues; then on May 22, I’m keynoting Public Knowledge’s Emerging Tech conference in DC.

On May 23, I’ll be in TORONTO for a book launch that’s part of WEPFest, a benefit for the West End Phoenix, onstage with Dave Bidini (The Rheostatics), Ron Diebert (Citizen Lab) and the whistleblower Dr Nancy Olivieri.

When the EU passed its landmark General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR), it seemed like a privacy miracle. Despite the most aggressive lobbying Europe had ever seen, 500 million Europeans were now guaranteed a digital private life. Could this really be?

If you’d like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here’s a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/15/finnegans-snooze/#dirty-old-town

Well, yes…and no. Despite flaws (Right to Be Forgotten), the GDPR has strong, well-crafted, badly needed privacy protections. But to get those protections, Europeans need their privacy regulators to enforce the rules.

That’s where the GDPR miracle founders. Europe includes several tax-havens — Malta, Cyprus, the Netherlands, Luxembourg, Ireland — that compete to offer the most favorable terms to international corporations and other criminals. For these havens, paying little to no tax is just table-stakes. As these countries vie to sell themselves out to giant companies, they compete to offer a favorable regulatory environment, insulating companies from lawsuits over corruption, labor abuses and other crimes.

All of this is made possible — and even encouraged — by the design of European federalism, which lets companies easily shift which flag of convenience they fly. Once a company re-homes in a country, it can force Europeans across the union to seek justice in that country’s courts, under the looming threat that the company will up sticks for another haven if the law doesn’t bend over backwards to protect corporate citizens from the grievances of flesh-and-blood humans.

Big Tech’s most aggressive privacy invaders have long flown Irish flags. Ireland is “headquarters” to Google, Meta, Tinder, Apple, Airbnb, Yahoo and many other tech companies. In exchange for locating a handful of jobs to Ireland, these companies are allowed to maintain the pretense that their global earnings are afloat in the Irish Sea, in a state of perfect, untaxable grace.

That cozy relationship meant that the US tech giants were well-situated to sabotage Ireland’s privacy regulator, who would be the first port of call for Europeans whose privacy had been violated by American firms. For many years, it’s been obvious that the Irish Data Protection Commission was a sleeping watchdog, with infinite tolerance for the companies that pretend to make Ireland their homes. 87% of Irish data protection claims involve just eight giant US companies (that pretend to be Irish).

But among for hardened GDPR warriors, the real extent of the Data Protection Commissioner’s uselessness is genuinely shocking. A new report from the Irish Council for Civil Liberties reveals that the DPC isn’t merely tolerant of privacy crimes, they’re gamekeepers turned poachers, active collaborators in privacy abuse:

https://www.iccl.ie/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/5-years-GDPR-crisis.pdf

The report’s headline figure really tells the story: the European Data Protection Board — which oversees Ireland’s DPC — overturns the Irish regulator’s judgments 75% of the time. It’s actually worse than it appears: that figure only includes appeals of the DPC’s enforcement actions, where the DPC bestirred itself to put on trousers and show up for work to investigate a privacy claim, only to find that the corporation was utterly blameless.

But the DPC almost never takes enforcement actions. Instead, the regulator remains in its pajamas, watching cartoons and eating breakfast cereal, and offers an “amicable resolution” (that is, a settlement) to the accused company. 83% of the cases brought before the DPC are settled with an “amicable resolution.”

Corporations can bargain for multiple, consecutive amicable resolutions, allowing them to repeatedly break the law and treat the fines — which they negotiate themselves — as part of the price of doing business.

This is illegal. European law demands that cases that involve repeat offenders, or that are likely to affect many people, must be fully investigated.

Ireland’s government has stonewalled on calls for an independent review of the DPC. The DPC continues to abet lawlessness, allowing corporations to use privacy invasive techniques for surveillance, discrimination and manipulation. In 2022, the DPC concluded 64% of its cases with mere reprimands — not even a slap on the wrist.

Meanwhile, the DPC trails the EU in issuing “compliance orders” — which directly regulate the conduct of privacy-invading companies — only issuing 49 such orders in the past 4.5 years. The DPC has only issues 28 of the GDPR’s “one-stop-shop” fines.

The EU has 26 other national privacy regulators, but under the GDPR, they aren’t allowed to act until the DPC delivers its draft decisions. The DPC is lavishly funded, with a budget in the EU’s top five, but all that money gets pissed up against a wall, with inaction ruling the day.

Despite the collusion between the tech giants and the Irish state, time is running out for America’s surveillance-crazed tech monopolists. The GDPR does allow Europeans to challenge the DPR’s do-nothing rulings in European court, after a long, meandering process. That process is finally bearing fruit: in 2021, Johnny Ryan and the Irish Council for Civil Liberties brought a case in Germany against the ad-tech lobby group IAB:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/06/16/inside-the-clock-tower/#inference

And the activist Max Schrems and the group NOYB brought a case against Google in Austria:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/05/15/out-here-everything-hurts/#noyb

But Europeans should not have to drag tech giants out of Ireland to get justice. It’s long past time for the EU to force Ireland to clean up its act. The EU Commission is set to publish a proposal on how to reform Ireland’s DPA, but more muscular action is needed. In the new report, the Irish Council For Civil Liberties calls on the European Commissioner for Justice, Didier Reynders, to treat this issue with the urgency and seriousness that it warrants. As the ICCL says, “the EU can not be a regulatory superpower unless it enforces its own laws.”

Catch me on tour with Red Team Blues in Toronto, DC, Gaithersburg, Oxford, Hay, Manchester, Nottingham, London, and Berlin!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/15/finnegans-snooze/#dirty-old-town

[Image ID: A toddler playing with toy cars. The cars are Irish police cars. The toddler's head has been replaced with the menacing, glowing red eye of HAL9000 from Stanley Kubrick's '2001: A Space Odyssey.' The toddler's knit cap is decorated with the logos for Apple, Google, Facebook and Tinder.]

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

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thebestbatz · 1 year ago

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The half life brain rot is taking me again so uhh.. anyone remember civil protection? I loved that shit

#mike and dave are the only cop duo ever #they should kiss maybe #civil protection #accursed farms #ross scott #mike and dave #batzys.txt #txt

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dreaminginthedeepsouth · 2 years ago

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Dave Granlund

* * * *

Keep calm and carry on. ::: March 20, 2023

Robert B. Hubbell

I acknowledge that the motto used by the British government to sustain public morale before the German blitz in 1940 has been overused. But the sentiment is appropriate for this moment in American history. In the next several months, a former president will likely face three indictments in three jurisdictions for three separate sets of crimes—all of which relate to his effort to gain or retain the presidency. That's a lot! To say the indictments will dominate American politics for years to come would be an understatement.

A "once-in-the-life-of-a-nation" event will be made more trying because Trump has signaled his defense strategy—threatening violence to intimidate the participants in the judicial process, to disrupt the proceedings, and to undermine the legitimacy of the verdicts. Although we do not have confirmation that Trump will be indicted, he and his legal team have begun leaking information to the press and mounting attacks from Trump's vanity social media platform. Based on those statements, Trump expects to be indicted, to surrender, and to enter a plea this week.

In language eerily reminiscent of Trump's incitement on January 6th, Trump posted a statement calling on his supporters to "PROTEST, TAKE OUR NATION BACK!" That was the only encouragement Trump's followers needed to set social media aflame with calls to violence to protect Trump. Basement-dwelling trolls and miscreants called for MAGA extremists to create a "patriot moat" around Mar-a-Lago and to commence a "civil war." See Rolling Stone, MAGA Forum Suggests 'Patriot Moat' at Mar-a-Lago to Stop Trump Arrest.

Marjorie Taylor Greene echoed those calls with a tweet urging Republicans to adopt a "scorched earth" strategy and claimed that "feds" would turn the MAGA protests into "violence." (FYI: a common conspiracy theory about January 6th asserts that "feds" provoked the protestors to violence.)

The most disgraceful reaction came from Speaker Kevin McCarthy, who should have condemned Trump's oblique call for violence. Instead, McCarthy legitimized Trump's call to "take back our nation" by tweeting that he is

directing relevant committees to immediately investigate if federal funds are being used to subvert our democracy by interfering in elections with politically motivated prosecutions.

Huh? Someone needs to do a wellness check on McCarthy to see if he is okay. His statement was so monumentally stupid that he might be feigning illness to distract from the fact he did not immediately rebuke Trump's implied call for violence. His failure to condemn Trump makes McCarthy an accessory to any violence that follows. He has disgraced the Speaker's office in a way seldom seen in our nation's history.

[Update: Late Sunday evening, McCarthy tried to walk back the implications of Trump's post and McCarthy's tweet. McCarthy called for "calmness," saying,

"I think the thing that you may misinterpret when President Trump talks and someone says that they can protest, he's probably referring to my tweet: educate people about what's going on. He's not talking in a harmful way, and nobody should."

As I said above: "Huh?"]

After January 6th, it would be irresponsible to dismiss the potential for violence. Indeed, it seems inevitable that there will be isolated incidents during proceedings that will span years. Trump will use his campaign rallies to inflame passions and foment unrest.

But . . . we should keep calm and carry on. Whatever happens, our system of justice is bigger and more durable than Trump. He is using the threat of violence to instill fear and raise anxiety in those who seek justice. We cannot surrender to the second-rate tactics of a third-rate demagogue.

Remaining calm will require discipline and perspective, especially because any violence will be amplified and distorted by the media beyond all recognition. The media expects violence and is prepared to deliver round-the-clock replays of every incident without respite or perspective.

If violence occurs, we need only reflect on the vastness of America, on its size and heft, on its immensity and scale to place the incidents in perspective. If several dozen protestors disrupt traffic in four blocks of Manhattan, that leaves 332 million Americans peacefully going about their lives in nearly four million square miles of a land that remains effectively boundless more than two centuries after its founding.

Perspective will not diminish the significance or depravity of any violence, but it will help us remain focused and committed to ensuring that justice prevails—come what may. In this, we cannot fail. We must not. If we retreat or relent because of threats of violence, the rule of law is no more.

While we should not underestimate the danger posed by Trump, America's strength is rooted in justice and fortified by righteousness. That strength will allow America to hold Trump accountable for his crimes and endure for generations to come. Future generations will know Trump as a faithless servant and traitor—and as a convicted felon.

Keep calm and carry on. We have elections to win in 2024 and cannot be distracted by the slow wheels of justice.

This explains a lot.

The current wave of retrograde extremism and mean-spirited divisiveness is sometimes difficult to comprehend. One partial explanation is that an entire generation of white Christian evangelicals see their ranks and power slipping away, and they are angry and fearful about the future. That is the thesis of Jennifer Rubin's op-ed in the Washington Post, Why white Christian nationalists are in such a panic.

Rubin writes about the newly released PRRI 2022 Census of American Religion— based on over 40,000 interviews conducted last year. In short, the census confirms a decades-long decline in the absolute and relative portion of Americans who identify as white Christians. The percentage decline of white Christians has been dramatic: 2008 (54%), 2014 (47%), and 2022 (42%).

Per the report, the MAGA subset of white Christians has been particularly hard hit by the decline:

The group that has declined the most is at the core of the MAGA movement, the group most devoted to Christian nationalism. "White evangelical Protestants have experienced the steepest decline. As recently as 2006, white evangelical Protestants comprised nearly one-quarter of Americans (23%). By the time of Trump's rise to power, their numbers had dipped to 16.8%," Jones explains. "Today, white evangelical Protestants comprise only 13.6% of Americans."

In a closely divided electorate, a dedicated group representing 13.6% of the population can nonetheless have an outsized impact on elections decided by a few hundred or a few thousand votes. That, in turn, explains the unholy dedication of white Christians to the suppression of votes.

The shrinking number of Americans who identify as Christians should be a cause for reflection and introspection. It is not—at least not for MAGA Christians. Per Rubin:

With those kind of numbers, the responsible thing to do would be to think about "fixing" what's wrong by adapting to a changing market. Instead, many in this cohort have doubled down, becoming the foot soldiers in the red-hatted MAGA movement. The decline isn't going to be reversed by angry, gray-haired folks demanding abortion bans and "don't say gay" bills.

While we can never count on Republicans to defeat themselves, neither should we overestimate the strength of our opponent. The current wave of anti-choice, anti-LGBTQ legislation across the nation is being driven by a shrinking minority of religious extremists who appear to be driving people away from their church with their politics. That fact should help us maintain perspective about our prospects for success in reversing the wave of hate-based legislation sweeping the nation.

[Robert B. Hubbell Newsletter]

#political cartoon.#broken Republican party #Robert B. Hubbel Newsletter #Robert B. Hubbell #MAGA Republicans #Christian Nationalism #white supremecy #evangelical

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