#church coulda got me hooked if instead of sitting there in silence while the pastor droned on

[chickenleafs-world]

Constantly thinking about the effects of being literal God on the young Jesus’s psyche. Like, was he waiting patiently, daydreaming about the day he’s get to meet each apostle, his closest friends? Did he weep at night after he and Judas shared a heartfelt moment, knowing that he would be betrayed and Judas would die in the potter’s field? Was it frustrating to be a baby, newly born and experiencing the world for the first time yet also deeply aware of how much was out there for him to experience?

Perhaps there was a time where baby Jesus had to be comforted every night by Marry and Joseph, because a kid bullied him and he knows the kid will feel bad but he also knows that the kid is going to die young and never get the chance to make it right. Maybe when the order to kill the young boys went out, the baby Jesus’s tears weren’t those of infant need but of grief for all the young boys he doomed by being born. Or he played matchmaker in the yard, as other kids played, knowing who would marry who and why and how much they loved each other.

But he was still just a boy. He knew so much but knew nothing, he could do everything, but nothing, he loved so much but couldn’t express it, he grieved a thousand times every day and celebrated ten thousand. And no one knew. Perhaps he cried when Judas left his room after a long talk, or perhaps he giggled, knowing how much more they would share before it was soured.

Constantly thinking about how Joseph probably died long before Jesus did. Did Jesus know? For a time did he stay uncharacteristically close to his father's side? Did he trail at his back? Did he grieve for the living?