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lucagray813 · 1 day ago

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Shadow - Chapter 10

Title: Behind the Veil

Rating: T+

Word Count: ~10,000

Characters: Wukong, Macaque

Minor Characters: MK

Relationships: Macaque/Wukong

Minor Relationships: MK & Wukong

Summary: Macaque comes clean and walls and glamours finally fall. Their relationship will be all the better for it but it does result in a painful flashback to the worst day of their lives.

Additional Tags: Developing Relationship, Acquired Disability, Slice of Life, DBK is called Niú, PIF is called Gōngzhǔ

CW: Suggestive language, major character death, the following CWs are present but not graphic: self-mutilation, self-harm, blood and injury, violence

If you want to skip the MCD and the following CWs scroll past the italics after "His ears started ringing."

Link to AO3 Version

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----

Wukong had spent almost all of his time in the library, consolidating his understanding of everything pertaining to the soul. He wasn't an expert in every facet of a soul's "lifecycle" but he had plenty of experience sitting with his own and exploring it's nature and that knowledge was what he thought might be of use to Macaque.

There was a chance he was focusing a little too hard on what might have been a figure of speech but at the same time it wouldn't do Macaque any harm. He would argue that even if it didn't help specifically with finding the truth about the Void it could still help him come to terms with his fear.

He wondered if there was a way to more directly help Macaque beyond teaching him what he knew because he was sure Macaque was going to be a very reluctant student. He already knew how to meditate but it was normally with a focus on magic, not on anything spiritual. And Wukong knew from first hand experience how difficult and unpleasant sitting with who you really are could be.

He was probably not going to find an alternative method to verbal guidance before Macaque returned but he would keep looking into it. In the meantime, he could make sure he was fully prepared to try and teach, although that was probably going to mean a lot of meditation on his own first.

He generally did mediate every day but he'd be lying if he said it had become much less of a priority in recent years. But it was time to get back on the bandwagon in a big way. Admittedly, he'd probably have an easier time of it once Macaque was back because every time he sat down to try it he just couldn't resist astral projecting and checking on him.

Astral projection was a bit of a curious talent. You weren't really seeing another person's soul, just a visual representation of it and how it appeared had a lot to do with the perception and skill of the beholder. If MK were here instead of him, Macaque's soul wouldn't look the same way to him as it did to Wukong.

If you could reach the pinnacle of enlightenment then he was sure no soul would be a mystery to you but given his attachment to some very specific souls it was unlikely he was reaching that level anytime soon. And honestly he was ok with that.

It would have been handy just to be able to look at Macaque and know everything about him but for all that it could save them both some hardship, it would really take away from the thrill of discovery. Maybe there was a middle ground that was somehow attainable?

Idle thoughts for another day, he frowned slightly as he considered Macaque's soul. It was odd he couldn't see his scars or ears, not that one's physical appearance made any difference to their true soul, but it did often influence the projection of the unenlightened. Maybe it had something to do with how Macaque viewed himself? Or how he wanted to be seen?

It was probably the latter and that did really put a downer on his hopes that Macaque would be dropping his glamours again any time soon. He tried to tell himself it didn't matter, that there were more important matters to attend to, but it was always on the back of his mind.

Actually, another thing that struck him as strange was that he could see Macaque's surroundings, although that was perhaps a generous description for an endless world of darkness. Astral projection never usually made the physical world melt away. Anytime he contacted MK this way all he could see was a vision of his soul, he couldn't see where he was.

He tried to rack his brain for any time he had projected to Macaque outside of the Void and he found he couldn't recall a single time that wasn't from days long past. He didn't generally need to and it was a bit invasive - they had phones for a reason.

He thought it might be worth testing what happened when Macaque was in the physical realm with him because right now this was giving some credence to the theory that Macaque's soul was connected to this place in a pretty significant way.

He didn't want to consider any theory too deeply at the moment however not until Macaque was back to discuss things.

He supposed he had to be quite grateful to the monkeys for forcing him to take breaks and eat and sleep. Macaque would be furious if he came back to find he hadn't been taking care of himself but it was hard not to fret. Although even he could admit his check-ins were a little too frequent.

He started setting alarms for himself - no astral projecting allowed until the next one went off and the monkeys took this rule very seriously. Going to great lengths to ensure he adhered to it.

It was two days after Macaque left for the Void that something was different when he went to check on him. He wasn't lying down asleep anymore, in fact it looked like he was sitting talking to someone and Wukong had just interrupted. Macaque looked extraordinarily guilty as he stood up.

"Ah, Wukong, I was just on my way back!"

Confused, he asked, "Who are you talking to? Did someone else project to you?"

The only person he was aware of that could astral project that might have any interest in contacting Macaque was MK. And while he wasn't one hundred percent confident that MK knew absolutely nothing about the Void, it felt odd that he would be there now.

Macaque winced as he admitted, "Ah, no. I might have already left?" He hastened to add, "Literally like an hour ago! I, er, just needed to check up on some things?"

Later, he no doubt would be annoyed that Macaque hadn't come straight home or at least let him know he had left but right now he was a little more concerned with something else.

He clarified, "You're not in the Void right now, then?"

Clearly misinterpreting his tone, Macaque tried to pacify him, "No but I'll be with you in, like, five minutes. Less than five minutes. I just had to... Why are you looking at me like that?"

Macaque's soul was still surrounded by that same all consuming black and no part of him thought this was a good sign.

He rubbed at his temple, "Just get your ass back here now."

Macaque nodded quickly, "Absolutely. I'm basically already there."

Wukong broke off the connection as Macaque turned around to explain to whoever he was with that he had to go.

...

Ok, apparently later was now. How dare he not come straight back here! Wukong had been worried sick for two days straight and he just went off to hang out with someone else? He was going to kick his ass when he appeared!

Which as promised only took about thirty seconds and Wukong didn't give him a chance to stammer out any platitudes before grabbing his shirt and shaking him, "Where the hell have you been? Do you have any idea how worried I've been? And you just went off gallivanting!?"

Macaque grabbed on to his wrists to try and stop him, "Alright! Alright! Stop! Let me explain!"

He stopped with the shaking but he still held him as if he threatened to start again at the slightest provocation, "Talk."

Macaque took a breath, "Look, I never usually come straight back from the Void, ok? Takes a bit to get used to being physical again. And then I like to check to see what I've missed - you know, see if I've got any calls or messages. Sometimes I even do a quick peek around the houses to make sure everyone is fine. Usually only takes an hour or two tops and then I come right here."

Wukong eyed him suspiciously, that all sounded reasonable but if that was true why was he behaving like he'd been caught doing something wrong, "Who were you talking to?"

Macaque coughed a little awkwardly before rubbing at his neck, "Bǎi Hé...?"

"You don't sound so sure of that."

Macaque sighed and stepped out of his grasp, which he begrudgingly allowed, "No, I really was talking to her. I... I wasn't quite ready to face the music and I was hoping she might be able to settle my nerves."

He frowned, "What did you think I was going to do when you got back?"

Aggrieved, Macaque responded, "It wasn't that. I was just... embarrassed about how I acted. I know I'm dramatic but that really was taking it too far - got us both upset over nothing."

It definitely wasn't over nothing but he couldn't disagree the whole thing could have been handled a lot better. Wukong had had the last two days to agonise and come to terms with it but Macaque hadn't - he'd basically been asleep the entire time - and he could understand why he might need a moment to lament things.

Deciding to be forgiving, he asked, "Did she help?"

A bit of the tension melting off him, Macaque responded, "A little. She didn't actually know what the problem was, so it was more of a general pep-talk/lecture to get a grip. Honestly, she can be a little merciless."

Wukong snorted, "I wonder where she got that from."

Macaque shrugged and lied, "I have no idea."

Fond against his will, he huffed. Before opening his arms, "Alright, I'm appeased. Get back over here so I can properly welcome you back."

Perhaps a little more eager than he intended, Macaque was quickly back in his space and holding him tightly. For this moment at least, all was forgiven as he relished in the feeling of having Macaque in his arms. To actually be able to touch him, instead of pretending to while he was astral projecting.

Their tails had intertwined almost immediately and as he pulled back to kiss Macaque's cheek, he quietly told him, "Welcome back."

Macaque placed a chaste kiss on his lips before answering, "Good to be back. Sorry I was gone for so long."

Part of him was tempted to forego any immediate conversation and just carry him to bed and snuggle up with him but if past experience had taught him anything it was that putting off important chats only made them more difficult.

So with a heroic effort, he led them to the couch instead, "C'mon, drama queen, let's get this show on the road. We've got a lot to talk about."

Despite sighing dramatically, Macaque followed him, flopping on the couch, as he commented, "I suppose so." But he sobered up quickly, "First and foremost though, I am sorry about, well, everything. Freaking out, keeping secrets... Doesn't really matter what reasons I had, it was shitty of me. I'm sorry."

As glad as he was for an apology, it really wasn't enough to completely pacify him, "The freaking out I can forgive but keeping secrets? Of that magnitude? I can't pretend I'm not still upset about it."

Everyone had their secrets, even him, and he didn't expect Macaque to tell him every little thing he'd ever thought or done but this was way too big for him not to have shared with him.

Macaque had said he deserved to know so he could have a choice and he did appreciate the sentiment but more than that if this was something that could have a big impact on either of them or their relationship then he just needed to be in the know in general.

Macaque accepted this easily, "I know. I always knew that I needed to tell you but... No, I don't want to make excuses. Look, I wish I could promise you there'll be no more secrets from now on but I can't... I promise to try though. Anything you ask me from now on, I'll do my best to be upfront about."

He would actually really like to hear Macaque's "excuses", he was pretty sure he understood why he'd kept this a secret and it felt important to talk about it but for now he decided to test Macaque on his word.

Getting straight into it, he asked, "How many people know about your condition? And about the Void?"

"Niú and Gōngzhǔ probably know about as much as you do now. Red Son knows more than anyone about my physical condition, but I've never told him about the Void, although I wouldn't put it past him to figure it out eventually. The only other person who knows anything about my condition, my vision and taste and the like, is Bǎi Hé but she knows absolutely nothing else."

He then hesitated and added, "For the sake of being upfront though... She has seen my scars and ears. She's the only one other than you."

Well that wasn't a question he was going to ask but now that he had the answer he was a little flummoxed, "Bǎi Hé has seen you without your glamours...? When? Why?"

It felt unfair to be upset about that but he hadn't even had a chance to look at them properly yet.

Macaque was surprisingly serious, "Wukong, if I tell you this, it doesn't leave this room. This is Bǎi Hé's business, alright? Swear, you won't breathe a word of this again."

A little shocked, he held up his hands, "I swear. Jeez. If it's that big a deal, you don't have to tell me."

He would very much like to know but Macaque's glamours were not actually under question here. Sure, Wukong was a little sensitive about it but at the end of the day that was his issue not Macaque's. Macaque didn't owe him his true appearance and definitely not any of Bǎi Hé's secrets.

But he had a feeling Macaque felt the need to prove how serious he was about being honest.

"You don't need the details but just know she has a lot of scars from when the Lady Bone Demon had her. She was feeling really self-conscious about them so I took my glamours down so she knew I wasn't just talking shit just to make her feel better."

God, did Macaque love that kid. He wasn't sure there was anything he wouldn't do for her. He imagined that hadn't been easy for him - no doubt it was a very Lady Bone Demon heavy chat as well as being physically laid bare like that.

He couldn't help but ask, "I know I've never spent a lot of time with her but I don't remember seeing any scars...?"

"I set her up with some glamours but before that she used to basically cover up head to toe, wore a lot of make up, you would never have seen them."

Honestly, that was more than he needed to know, "You didn't need to tell me any of this."

"I know, and I probably shouldn't have, but you asked and I... I want to make it up to you for lying. And don't think I don't know how hung up you are on my glamours. But that's a conversation for another day, ok?"

He nodded eagerly, "Yeah. Of course. Whenever you're ready to talk about it, I'm all ears!"

He cringed a little at his enthusiasm but the fact that Macaque had brought it up had him feeling incredibly hopeful. And if he was being honest, it did go a long way to show him how serious he was.

But this was a tangent that didn't need any more time spent on it right now. He cleared his throat to dismiss any lingering embarrassment and said, "Ok, getting back on track. That's really the only people that know?"

Macaque looked a little unimpressed, "I'm as shocked as you are. Your student could do with a brush up on his observation skills. I think him and a couple of his friends have some suspicions but Red Son hasn't told them anything. He wouldn't dare."

He really did want to defend MK, Macaque was an impressive actor after all, but he felt a little embarrassed on his behalf that he hadn't seemed to have at least clocked that Macaque was pretty much blind. The greatest kindness he could do was move the conversation along however.

"Actually, talking about Red Son. I may have paid him and his folks a visit while you were away."

Macaque looked tired at just the thought, "Yeah, I figured. Let me guess, I'm due to get my ass handed to me?"

"Well, they did say that you were to visit them as soon as possible and they did look pretty pissed. So, I'm going to say chances are high?"

For all that he was upset with Macaque, he didn't think he would wish an angry Gōngzhǔ on anyone.

"Can't say I didn't see this coming. You managed to get back in one piece though?"

"Oh yeah, it was a little tense with Gōngzhǔ but I had such a good heart to heart with Niú afterwards. When did he get so wise and considerate, eh?"

"I think the same way you did but in the reverse order - marriage and a mountain."

Wukong wisely did not mention he had had a pretty famous third thing help with his character development, instead opting to tease, "You think I'm wise?"

"Wise-r. But not by much. Although, can't really say I've got a leg to stand on right now."

"Wow. You really have been humbled by this, haven't you?"

"Give me a couple of days and I'll be back on form."

He was already sounding way better than he had before he left and Wukong found he was almost reluctant to stir up any feelings of fear again but they had to talk about it.

"Yeah, about that. So I spoke with Niú and Gōngzhǔ, saw Red Son's reports and figured they've got that side of things well covered. So I've been thinking of other ways that I could try and help figure out if your condition really is deteriorating and I think I found it."

Macaque frowned but he didn't interrupt.

"You remember, you said you felt it in your soul that you would go back permanently one day? Well, I figured that was worth digging into. Explore where that's coming from and initially I thought I would just be teaching you how to meditate on your spirit, and that's definitely part of it, but when I astral projected to you earlier I saw something sort of concerning."

Macaque had predictably pulled some faces at the idea of spiritual meditation but he looked genuinely confused about his closing statement, "What did you see?"

"I looked like you were in the Void."

"What? What do you mean?"

"I mean I couldn't see anything but darkness and your soul. I thought that's just how it was when I projected to the Void but you weren't there, right?"

"You can see the Void...?"

He looked a little perturbed by this information and Wukong couldn't blame him, not if he was coming to the same conclusions he was. Macaque looked thoughtful and he waited to see what he came up with.

"That shouldn't be possible. You shouldn't see anything but a representation of my soul... Unless the darkness you're seeing is a part of that...?"

That was unfortunately what he had been thinking too.

It also struck him that he hadn't had to search for Macaque's soul. He had searched where he always did but somehow he had automatically been taken to where he had actually been - that wasn't how it was supposed to work and he shared this realisation with him.

Macaque was quiet as he processed this, before slowly theorising, "The Void isn't a place as such, it's more the space where everything exists, it's everywhere and nowhere all at once. If you were looking for my soul "in" the Void, then if I'm connected to it, I guess you'll always be able to find me regardless of if I'm there or not? But the fact that you're able to access the Void in any capacity..."

That actually had him perking up, "Hey, you're right. Maybe that's an angle we need to explore. We should see if MK or someone can also reach you there."

He was taken aback by how vehemently Macaque shot him down, "Absolutely not. No way. I'm not putting him at risk."

"Woah! At risk? What are you talking about? Worst case scenario, he can't reach you. Sure, he might get a little invested in helping but... What's with that face? What's wrong?"

He looked like he was considering something particularly unpleasant but he seemed to lose whatever argument he was having in his head. Again, he looked at him with the utmost seriousness, "Wukong, I'm going to show you something and you have to swear on the lives of our troupe that you'll never go looking for it, that you'll never use it."

His eyes widened at the stipulation, he wouldn't make him swear on the monkeys unless it was something beyond serious, "Macaque... I can't make that promise. Not without knowing what it is."

Another internal conflict seemed to ensue before defeatedly Macaque pulled something solid from the shadows. And while it looked different but there was no denying what it was.

"You finished your lantern?"

The most notable feature was the vertical shutters that were currently hiding whatever was hiding inside. He was sure they could snap open at Macaque's command however.

Macaque nodded, "A while ago."

He had almost forgotten about it, it had been so long ago that he'd started working on it and he'd never offered any updates on how it was progressing. At the very beginning they had discussed what he was hoping to achieve and his worries over any unintentional functions but that was it.

He had a feeling that the lantern had not gone according to plan and that's why he hadn't been told it was finished.

Warily, he asked, "What does it do?"

"Not what I was hoping it would... I think I inadvertently created a gateway to the Void?"

He pointed at the lantern, "You're saying that I could use this to go to the Void?"

The lantern immediately disappeared back into the shadows as Macaque snapped, "No, that's the exact opposite of what I'm saying. You are not to use it. Your body can't exist in the Void. Only your soul can but it won't survive the experience."

He raised an eyebrow, "How do you know?"

Macaque huffed as he looked away, "How'd you think? I tested it. The few I decided didn't deserve mercy are alive and sorely wishing they weren't. Although, I'm not sure the ones I killed are actually any more at peace. No idea if they even made it to the Dìyù, and if they did who knows if their souls can actually be repaired."

"Jeez, Macaque. How many people have you used this on?"

"Four but trust me they all deserved it."

He'd be lying if said he felt totally comfortable with the fact that Macaque apparently still tortured and killed people. That was the kind of thing he wouldn't have batted an eyelash at back in the day, hell he'd done more than his fair share, but it really wasn't the done thing anymore.

Something must have shown on his face or in his magic because a little defensively, Macaque responded, "I don't just go around killing people for the hell of it but it's not like there's no risk of it when I'm allied with MK and the Demon Bull Clan."

It wasn't an unfair comment. He was sure being associated with him likely didn't help things either. It's not like he wasn't aware Macaque had killed people in recent years - it was sort of inevitable with the company Macaque kept - but they just didn't tend to discuss it in any great detail. Probably something they should address at some point.

"I know. I know. Sorry, I didn't mean to make a face or whatever. It just caught me off guard, I guess. Bottom line though is that the lantern is dangerous for most people but let's face it, I'm not most people."

Macaque looked like he wanted to maul him, and he hastened to add, "Look, I'm not saying I'm in a rush to put it to the test but I don't think we should rule it out completely. It feels pretty significant that I can astral project to you there, right?"

Macaque was not appeased, "I don't care. No matter what happens, you are not to use that lantern. No one is."

He wasn't promising never to use it but he wasn't going to go behind Macaque's back to mess with it, "Fine. But I still think we should get MK to-"

"No."

Alright, this clearly wasn't up for discussion. But he thought Macaque was being overly paranoid. A projection was not the same as sending someone's soul elsewhere and it had the added safety feature of having two anchor points, the projector and the target, albeit the former was more secure than the latter.

But he could see he was only upsetting Macaque, and so he conceded, "Alright. Alright. No getting anyone else involved in Void stuff. We'll do what we can just the two of us, ok?"

Honestly, Macaque didn't look keen on that either but he definitely wasn't winning that argument. And he seemed to accept this but he wasn't quite willing to let it go without a final warning.

"Wukong, you want to help me find ways to explore my soul? Fine. But I need you to understand why you can't take the risk on the Void. Try and imagine it - you have no body, you can't hear, see or feel. You can't speak and you are completely alone. That's enough to drive anyone crazy but then your soul is also aware of every shadow and shape in existence? Even if that didn't warp your soul, when you came back to your body, your mind wouldn't be able to comprehend it. Tell me you understand."

He didn't want to imagine it. It was the sort of thing nightmares were made of. But Macaque was able to survive it. Surely, he couldn't be the only one? But he put any thoughts of them somehow bridging the physical realm and the Void on the back burner for now. Hopefully a lot of meditation would turn up some answers in time.

As seriously as he could, he responded, "I do understand and I swear I'm not going to be reckless about this. I won't willingly put either of us in any sort of danger. I promise."

He withstood Macaque's scrutiny and after a moment he sighed, looking tired, "You haven't even considered the ramifications of me deteriorating, have you? You just believe this will all work out somehow."

He hadn't given it any thought beyond figuring out if it was possible and how to stop it. It didn't seem worth fretting over depressing hypotheticals until he'd at least done the former and he was pretty confident that they had plenty of time before any deteriorating might happen. It irked him slightly that Macaque's tone suggested that he was being naïve about this.

But he kept a level head, "I think we might need to work on finding some middle ground here. You think I'm being too optimistic, but I think you're being way too pessimistic. All the evidence suggests that if anything is happening to you then it's happening so slowly that we have plenty of time to figure it out. You said yourself it might take thousands of years for the Void to take you back. We don't need to obsess over worst case scenarios."

"Wukong..." He hesitated before he seemed to decide to go for it, "I know it's a running joke that we're married but I need you to really consider what it means to dedicate yourself to someone else - in sickness and in health, for better or worse. I need to know that you can think past how you feel right now."

He felt himself growing irritated with how little faith Macaque seemed to have in him but it was cut short as he remembered Niú's words.

Macaque knows what it is to love someone to his own detriment. I have witnessed his loyalty slowly destroy him once before. He does not wish that fate upon you.

The situation was more complex than a lack of faith. He stood by his opinion that Macaque was being pessimistic but he'd clearly given more thought to the future than Wukong had. Generally, he believed it was better to be in the moment than lose time worrying about things yet to happen but, like all things, there was a balance to strike.

He nodded slowly, "Ok, you want me to think about it? I will. Give me some time and then we can talk about what the future might hold and how we feel about it."

Macaque looked surprised at his acceptance before he seemed to backpedal slightly, "Look, I know I'm being super down on everything, I don't want you to think I think we're doomed or whatever. I just... You're right, I'm probably overthinking it, let fear fester and take over."

He took hold of Macaque's hand, "Hey, I don't blame you for being scared, or for worrying about the future. Especially, now that I have some idea of why that is. You've given me a lot to think about, the least I can do is, y'know, actually think about it."

Macaque let out a long breath, "I... Appreciate that. I'll do my part too - I'll talk to you, I'll try not to be so afraid. I don't want to be so scared about the future I miss out on what we have right now. You... think you could help me with that?"

He was sure his expression was something achingly soft as he leaned his head against Macaque's before gently saying, "We are going to do so much mediating."

Macaque's responding groan was like music to his ears.

----

Despite, Macaque's admission that he was afraid, it was clear that being ill and stressed had greatly exacerbated things the other week and Wukong suspected he would not have the same struggle going to the Void next time, which somewhat decreased the urgency to find an immediate answer.

It helped that they were under no illusion that there was a quick fix for this situation and while they both were still very much committed to finding answers, they had instead chosen to focus on addressing their relationship for the time being.

It was very much a work in progress, figuring out how to temper their respective optimism and pessimism to find a middle ground, especially when the roles sometimes flipped, but overall he felt like they were making good progress.

Not to say every moment was filled with serious conversations or deep thoughts because life was very much still going on around them - monkeys were having drama, friends still wanted to meet up, there were plans they'd made to go out in advance that were now upon them and then there was just day to day living.

Although, one unexpected addition to his week had been Macaque's insistence that they consider experimenting with their magic, since somebody had told Niú and Gōngzhǔ that's what had been the kicking off point for the drama the other week.

He had spluttered defensively, "What was I supposed to tell them! "Oh yeah, turns out that I have a dick that fucking glows with magic and it was a bit much." Gōngzhǔ would have actually murdered me!"

Macaque had been in hysterics over his "magic dick" - he'd genuinely cried with laughter. Wukong put aside any embarrassment to make comments to keep him laughing for as long as possible. When he finally calmed down, it was to stroke his ego, "Honestly, magic dick is right. I can't tell you much I'm looking forward to having it again."

His face had been burning even as he tried to weakly argue, "You want to... Even after what happened?"

There had been an impish sparkle in Macaque's eye, "Between magic cock rings, experimenting with magic and some inspired ideas I have in mind, I think it would be a crime not to try again."

He was never going to live the "magic cock ring" thing down but he'd be lying if he said he didn't want to find ways to make sex work for them. He wasn't wholly convinced it was a good idea though and it had taken a fair bit of back and forth for Macaque to convince him that sex wasn't inherently dangerous for him. They just had to take their time with it and figure it out.

Despite feeling reassured, he knew he was going to be a bit overcautious for a while to come. Although, he had to admit he was both curious and a little terrified of what Macaque's "inspired ideas" were - with a grin full of mischief he had said he would reveal all when the time was right.

He was sure leaving him in the dark was a deliberate move to work him up because that was definitely the effect it had - unable to stop himself from trying to imagine what he might have planned.

For the moment though, he did his best to put any such salacious thoughts to the back of his mind. He was more than ready to hear Macaque's suggestions for magic experimentation.

"I want to stress test my tolerance for magic."

And he was immediately out. Macaque was quick to try and persuade him, "Don't dismiss it until you've heard the details. I'm not asking you to saturate me in magic until I call uncle and have to hightail it to the Void. I'm talking small-scale, carefully controlled, external experiments."

He was sure there was a silent "to start with" tacked on to the end of that but he let it go for the moment. In theory, knowing how much magic Macaque could comfortably handle before it became too much could be incredibly useful but he didn't like the idea of having to get close to the limit in order to find it.

But Macaque's initial request was just to experiment with different intensities of orbs of their magic to see how they reacted and that was such a benign ask that he was more than happy to oblige. They'd done similar exercises before when they had been trying to help him with his fear of foreign magic after all and there had been no issues then.

Macaque had looked increasingly thoughtful as they'd carried on and when asked he confessed, "Being totally honest, it's not just the intensity of magic that's the issue but the other metric I'm interested in is a little more difficult to figure out."

"What is it?"

Bizarrely, Macaque looked a little embarrassed, coughing a little before admitting, "Well, the intensity of emotion you're feeling might be just as important with regards to how overwhelming your magic is. It might be possible that I can actually handle quite a lot of your magic if there's not so much emotion behind it."

He hadn't really understood what he'd meant for a moment but the out of character bashfulness had made it click and he felt his face redden. When they had slept together, all he'd been able to think about was Macaque and while he hoped his feelings were coming across, he hadn't meant for it to happen quite so literally.

They couldn't quite meet each other's eyes as Macaque continued, "Yeah... Er, not saying it wasn't something to be able to feel how you felt in the moment but feeling someone else's emotions while you're having plenty of your own, on top of some magic sensitivity? It was... a lot."

He wasn't sure what the correct response was to that, but a little mortified to literally have thrust such raw, unguarded emotion on to Macaque, he tired, "I...Uh, Sorry? I mean, not about how I felt but- Er, actually maybe a little bit about how I felt? But I didn't mean to, y'know, have that happen."

He wasn't sure why he was so embarrassed. He already knew that Macaque could pick up on his emotions pretty accurately through his magic just by being near him. Though he sort of likened that to being able to tell by someone's expression how they were feeling. But to be able to feel exactly what he'd been feeling in that moment? In all it's intensity? To know how absolutely sickeningly besotted he was with him?

He was never going to recover.

A little shyly, Macaque admitted, "I didn't hate it. It was... Pretty incredible actually. I, er, sort of wish you could know what it felt like but, y'know, the other way round."

He was powerless but to move closer as he asked, "Yeah...?"

"Yeah... Only fair, right? For you to know how I feel."

Later, he would ponder if it could be possible. If he honed his magic sensitivity to even a fraction of that of Macaque's maybe he would be able to feel it to some extent. There were doubtless plenty of exercises that he could try. And the payoff would definitely be worth the effort.

For right now though, he was a little too enamoured by the charged atmosphere that was surrounding them. Their tails found each other almost unthinkingly, but once hands started to find their way to hips and shoulders however he could only be thankful for how efficiently the shadows could get them somewhere private.

----

It was a rare thing for MK to drop by unannounced but apparently he'd been flying back home from visiting a friend when he realised how close to the island he was and had decided to drop in and say hi. He'd been apologetic for not calling ahead but Wukong had been quick to wave him off, he was always welcome here and Wukong was always happy to see him.

Macaque had, of course, heard him well before he reached them and had told him he would hang out elsewhere on the island so the two could catch up. It really wasn't necessary, it would be nice for all three of them to spend some time together, and he'd said as much. A quick compromise had been reached though, because as much as he'd meant what he'd said, he did love having some one-on-one time with MK. Macaque would join them in a little while.

Currently MK was showing him videos and pictures from Gōngzhǔ and Niú's most recent party and filling him in on highlights from the night. He'd already seen most of it online, and Macaque had been there so he'd already heard all the gossip but none of that was anywhere near a good enough reason to stop him from listening with rapt attention.

It was as he was flicking through the pictures that he stopped on one that had Macaque in the background with a woman beside him, he asked MK, "Oh, is that this Lady Jiānyá that Mac was telling me about?"

"Hm? Oh yeah! She would not leave him alone! I think she thought he was just playing hard to get or something? Which is weird because I thought it was pretty common knowledge that he was with you."

Well, it was common knowledge to those that knew them and probably anyone employed by the Demon Bull Clan but outside of that the world likely assumed the Monkey King was happily single, kicking back, enlightened, on Flower Fruit Mountain. And really it was probably better that way - it would bring Macaque no shortage of hardships to advertise who he was in a relationship with.

He considered the photo, interest in Lady Jiānyá already lost, as he focused on Macaque's outfit, "Well, with a getup like that who can blame her for trying her luck? I think that might be some of my finest work."

MK laughed, "Oh yeah, that's what she was interested in. Although, I've got to admit it is a super nice outfit. I can never get over the fact that you make all Mac's clothes from scratch! Maybe I should come to you next time I have to go to one of these parties!"

He had been teasing but Wukong's tail gave an excited little flick even as he tried to play it cool, "Y'know, I probably have some outfits that are just your size - how about we go have a look? See if there's anything you fancy."

Outfits that were exactly his size, made specifically for him. And he had designs for plenty more.

MK put up some token protests, but he was easily swayed and the two of them spent a very enjoyable afternoon trying on the various clothes that he had made for both of them.

MK had clocked on pretty fast that these outfits had been tailor made for him and he had questioned, a little suspiciously, how Wukong had possibly gotten his measurements. But that was an easy answer - the Tailor Trio, at Red Son's request, had made MK a number of outfits over the years and they weren't hard to bribe.

And then Macaque joined them and he had been disgusted by the lack of flair to this fashion show and so with a little bit of magic they had a mini cat walk with an audience to go with it. Macaque, star and director of the whole thing, obviously.

He was surprised no monkeys had been drawn to the fun and he had a feeling Macaque was possibly doing something to keep them at bay. Which he appreciated because to be honest he would be more than a little upset if they ruined any of these clothes.

By the end of the day, MK had a phone filled with pictures of the three of them and he had a feeling he might have to make some more clothes for some more people once a certain dragon saw them. But he found he wasn't too upset about that as he and Macaque cheerfully said their goodbyes to MK.

----

It was long after they'd had dinner that night that Macaque interrupted the show they were watching to say, "It wasn't just your outfit that had Lady Jiānyá all over me, y'know."

Wukong had looked at him uncomprehendingly for a long moment, before giving up, "What?"

Disinterestedly, he responded, "I could be wearing rags and I'd still have suitors begging for even a glance in their direction."

He turned so he could face Macaque, leaning back on the arm of the chair, bemused, "Oh? You trying to say I don't know that it wasn't just my incredible talent that had that demon fawning over you?"

"Wasn't just her. I basically have to fight off interested parties with a stick every time I attend one of those parties."

He propped his head up on his arm, as he grinned, "You don't say? Must be that humility of yours that they find so attractive."

He wasn't sure what Macaque's angle was here - was he fishing for compliments? Neither of them were really one for calling the other handsome or beautiful or the like but he wasn't against it in theory. Or did he want a reaction? It would be unusual but he could maybe see that being something Mac could be into.

It turned out to be neither.

"I know I'm no "Handsome" Monkey King but believe it or not people think I'm quite the looker." The façade broke, "Or they did. Back when my face actually looked like this."

Oh.

He sat up a little straighter, all humour leaving him, as he waited for Macaque to continue.

He laughed a little self-deprecatingly, "It feels like something I should have grown out of. The desire to have everyone looking at me in awe. God knows, without the glamours it wouldn't be anything close to awe they looked at me with. It would be with pity, revulsion, if they could even stand to look at me at all. I can't say that doesn't at least play a small part in why I can't take them down around you."

He would like to say that it didn't matter to him how Macaque looked, that he'd love him regardless, but while it may be true. It wasn't helpful, and that wasn't what he was worried about.

"Macaque... I can't say that I wouldn't look at you differently without your glamours. Especially, not at first. Pity and revulsion wouldn't get a look in but I couldn't pretend that it would never upset or anger me to see the evidence of everything you've been through. But I've also never really looked at you with awe because of your looks, y'know? Not because you aren't, y'know, objectively attractive or anything I just..."

It felt awkward to say he'd never really looked at Macaque's face and thought it was beautiful. But he hadn't ever thought of anyone's face like that. He understood what most people considered to be attractive but he had just never really understood it.

That's not to say that he didn't love Macaque's face. The way his eyes lit up with mischief, or the way he showed so many teeth when he laughed, or the hundreds of other little expressions he knew so well - they all certainly invoked beautiful feelings within him.

Maybe he was worrying over semantics but he didn't think that Mac's scars would stop him feeling that way.

But equally, he wasn't sure how he'd feel about having such prominent scars, he already hid the ones he did have from everyone but Macaque and the monkeys. And he could admit he had enough pride and vanity that he'd probably struggle with letting the world see him with scars like Macaque's.

He could tell himself all he wanted that he would still feel comfortable having his glamours off around Macaque but he wasn't sure if it was actually true.

Mac's didn't seem to take offence though, "I know... But the thought of standing next to you, the Handsome Monkey King, looking the way I do... It just fills me with shame."

It would be nothing short of insulting to mention he had his own scars that likely made him less attractive. It wasn't comparable, Macaque's scars were disfiguring, if he were to go without his glamours out in the world people would stop and stare.

But he wasn't out in the world, he was here, with him, and he shouldn't ever have to feel ashamed of how he looked, especially not in comparison to him but it didn't feel enough to say that.

Slowly he started, "How do we work on that? To make that feeling go away? What-?" He made a quiet, frustrated sound as tried to reword his question better, "How did you overcome that feeling last time? You know, when we were..."

Macaque looked faintly embarrassed as he looked away, "It was just a heat of the moment thing. I just... I know how badly you want to see me without my glamours and in that moment all I could feel was... was how much you loved me and... everything just felt right, like it would be ok, I wasn't thinking of the consequences. I... I just wanted to give as much as I was getting and to be as close to you as possible, no hiding away."

Macaque paused for a moment, clearly struggling to find the right words, before continuing, "I'm not saying I don't want that now, I do, but even if I can get over the shame. We don't, I mean, I don't want to-" he took a breath and faced him, "Wukong, some of my scars will just bring up a whole host of bad and awkward feelings. And we'll probably have to talk about it and I don't know if I'll ever be ready to talk about that day."

There was no need to ask what day he was referring to. They had talked around it during their big reconciliation years ago but neither of them had been prepared to discuss it in detail.

He had the sudden realisation that Macaque hadn't let down all his glamours last time, there were two glaring scars missing that his tired and hazy mind hadn't picked up on at the time. There should have been matching scars on Macaque's back and stomach.

His ears started ringing.

After their bloody fight, Macaque had made a desperate lunge for his master and all he had been able to think about was stopping him. He had brought his staff down on his back with such force that it went right through him, pinning him to the earth.

He hadn't paused, letting go of his staff and moving his master a safe distance away. But he hadn't been able to let go of his master's arms as he stood trembling as he heard the choked sobs from behind him, unable to comprehend what he had just done, immortality be damned.

Seconds had felt like an eternity before his master's gentle call of his name had registered. He had let go and slowly turned around to see that the gruesome scene he had created had gotten worse.

One eye was how it had been - swollen, the blood he'd gotten in it forcing it shut but the other... In the seconds he'd had his back turned Macaque had clawed it out.

He's not sure why he just stood there, watching as Macaque's hitching breaths faded to nothing. Distantly, he knew that he had to remove his staff so that the peaches could start to heal the wound but he couldn't move.

He'd killed Macaque.

The peaches would revive him but that didn't change what he'd done.

He had flinched at his master's featherlight touch on his shoulder, not able to hear whatever he might have been saying. It was enough to finally break his trance however and he unsteadily made his way over to Macaque.

His hands shook as they took hold of his staff, and a sob escaped him when it didn't immediately come free, embedded in the ground below, he didn't want to force it out. Thankfully, his master had followed him, quietly telling him to shrink it.

He narrowed it and pulled it free before staggering back and collapsing to his knees a short distance away, unable to look away.

Hollow and hoarse, he said, "Master, you have to get away. When he comes back, I don't know what he'll do. Go to the others. I... I'll think of something."

"Wukong, he's..."

"He's eaten the immortal peaches. In a few minutes he'll be breathing again, in a few hours he'll be standing. You need to leave."

His master had been doubtful and it had taken a desperate shout for him to leave for him to finally walk away.

He kept up his vigil as his mind desperately tried to think of what to do, of what to say. But it all became meaningless as minutes became hours and nothing changed - his wounds didn't heal, his chest didn't begin to rise and fall.

He had started to babble in that time - apologies, admonishments, pleas - becoming increasingly desperate as time went on. When eventually he found the strength to use his Golden Vision it revealed nothing but a corpse.

His staff rolled from his lap as he finally released it from the white knuckled hold he'd had on it, "Mac...?"

He stood unsteadily, hand outreached as he took a step closer, only for Macaque's body to suddenly start to melt in a familiar purple hue. He tripped as he tried to get to him but by the time he fell to his knees beside where he had been he was grasping at shadows.

He swallowed down his nausea. Just the mention of that day was enough to leave him feeling sick and retched. He did his best to focus on Macaque in front of him, here and alive.

He took a steadying breath, "I understand. I don't think I'm ready to talk about it either. I... I didn't mean to put any pressure on you about your glamours. I'd be lying if I didn't want to see you without them but you have your reasons for keeping them on and I promise I respect that. You never have to take them off if you don't want to. I won't ever ask you to."

Macaque looked a little frustrated, "But that's the thing. I do want to take them off, I just can't work up the nerve."

Wukong considered this carefully before tentatively suggesting, "I know it might involve a bit of work on reconfiguring things on your end but maybe you can just take off some of your glamours...? Like, so maybe just some of your scars show or your ears maybe?"

Macaque looked uncertain as he responded, "Yeah, I... I could maybe do that. I only have a couple of spots with extra glamours but I could try and change that..."

He was quick to reassure him, "You don't have to though! I'm just spitballing ideas!"

"No, it's a good idea. I should have thought of it myself really. I'll think about it." He then stood up, "I think I need a minute though."

Despite the bolt of anxiety that went through him, he nodded, "Yeah, sure, of course. I, er, I'll be right here."

Macaque walked over to him and brought a hand to his face as he kissed his cheek, "I'll just be in my room."

He hesitated, before giving into the urge to wrap his arms tightly around him for only a moment. He might want to be as close as possible to Macaque after remembering that awful day but he could imagine remembering the same thing might cause him to want the exact opposite.

He let him go with a quiet, "I love you."

"I love you too. I'll get you in bed later, ok?"

"Ok."

----

Glamours didn't come up again for a little while, Wukong determined not to mention them before Macaque did.

But it really shouldn't have come as a surprise to him when one day between getting up to grab a drink from the kitchen and coming back to sit on the couch Macaque had taken down some of his glamours with absolutely no warning.

He choked on his drink as he noticed that two ears had become six and he wasted precious time coughing up a lung. Despite laughing at him, it was clear Macaque was tense, clearly nervous about how their appearance would be received.

That didn't stop Wukong from cursing him and complaining that he'd done that on purpose but once the theatrics were out the way he let his eyes have their fill, flicking between each set and taking in every little detail.

The left set were exactly as they'd always been but Macaque hadn't opted to hide away the scarring on the right and Wukong felt an odd mix of gratitude and pride towards him for that.

He shuffled closer, raising his hands slowly, "Can I...?"

Macaque closed his eyes as he nodded and Wukong couldn't stop himself from keeping his touch feather soft as he ran his fingers along them with reverence. The texture on his right ears was notably different but he was in no way deterred.

"Can I...?"

Macaque nodded again, not needing any clarification, as he tilted his head so his good ears were closer to him.

This had been a favourite game of Wukong's back when they were younger. Tackling Macaque so he could cup his ears and see how they were glowing. You could only see the faint light in the dark but they had been the prettiest colours.

They had never been able to figure out why they glowed or if the different colours meant anything. All six ears always glowed the same colour but nothing seemed to prompt a particular shade to appear. Macaque's emotions or his physical state didn't seem to matter, not did any environmental factor. They just glowed however they liked.

He found himself nervous to see if they still glowed or if the Void had taken that from him too. He didn't let himself hesitate however, cupping his hands around all three ears and bringing his face right up next to them, he couldn't explain the relief he felt when he saw the faintest lavender glow from within.

He gave a small laugh as he pulled back, feeling a little emotional, he said, "They still glow."

He wasn't sure what to make of Macaque's expression as he asked, "What colour?"

"Lavender."

His expression fell slightly but he turned his head and offered the other set of ears before he could ask, "Check the other ones for me?"

He did so and it was with great reluctance he pulled back and told him, "I don't see anything."

He looked like he'd been expecting as much as Wukong moved his hands away so that Macaque could bring up one of his own to lightly touch his ears, "I guess I should be grateful that the left ones glow at all. Even if they probably don't glow the same as they did. I have a feeling they won't change from that colour."

Wukong brought up a hand to rest on his good ears, gently running his thumb over them, "I'll check them again later. But for what it's worth, they're still one of the prettiest colours I've ever seen."

Macaque huffed a little laugh, "Well, listen to you, Casanova."

"I'm serious. I hope you're prepared for me to try and get a look at them every time your ears are unglamoured."

Macaque rolled his eyes, "Just like back in the day, eh?"

He grinned, "Not quite because now every time I look at them I'll pay the toll."

"Oh? What toll?"

He leaned in close and placed a gentle kiss on the rim of each of his left ears. The last one he left with an audible "mwah", before pulling back and looking pleased with himself.

Macaque laughed, "You think that's the price of admission, huh? That all the "one of the prettiest colour you've ever seen" is worth to you?"

He kissed his lips before pulling back just enough to say, "Name your price. I'll pay anything for the privilege."

Macaque's tone was full of the mischief he loved so much, "Anything? That's brave of you. You sure about that?"

"When have I ever backed down? Try me."

He felt Macaque's hands slide up his thighs to rest on his hips, "How about we take this somewhere more comfortable and negotiate the terms? I want to see how persuasive you can be."

The answer was very.

Especially, when three sets of ears proved even more sensitive to honeyed words infused with magic than one.

--Chapter End--

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