#cheats are off now unless i find a level somehow worse

[sonic-adventure-3]

FINALLY. CRAZY GADGET DONE. it only took 6 failures and infinite lives and rings

[randomlyjay]

Kev rubbed the bridge of his nose. It's a bad job, but he'd had worse. Being a bodyguard. Protecting dignitaries and covering up their secrets. Personal security for someone with more wealth than anyone should have. Other things he wasn't allowed to actually think about. Some NDAs had teeth, and they could bite down hard. This job didn't have those, mostly because no one would ever believe him if he mentioned it. They had old walkies-talkie but there were no phones or cameras on site, and no internet access at all. The creature in the cage could use those. One of the scientists - Emma - had tried to explain it to him, but Kev didn't get most of the words she'd used.

The Creature was a roiling mass of shadowy mass in the cage. The cage had layers, and symbols and was made of some weird glass that even the military didn't know about yet. It kept something caged that wasn't from here, on a level that was felt instinctively. The Creature had mass, and weight, and other things as well. If you looked at it for too long you stopped being able to see other things.

Kev didn't find it as scary as most of the other guards did. He'd been on a safari with his uncle when he was eight, still the best memory of his life. And later, he'd gone to a zoo. And the animals in it weren't the same. The Creature was like that: they had their own zoo, with a single exhibit. No one to show it off to, nothing they could do with it. Bragging rights, he imagined, between a few of the alphabet agencies.

He had his taser gun, mostly for use on himself if the Creature got free, a flashlight and proper body armour. They didn't have regular guns on site, to prevent suicides. Kev wasn't sure why it was such a big deal, but he knew that his reactions to the Creature weren't at all normal. Most people couldn't look at it for longer than ten seconds without getting a bit cray-cray, as Olga had put it.

Kev didn't bring it up with anyone. Someone would look into his record, and probably the expunged files and ask questions about cheating on a psych evaluation. Among other things. He let out a breath, wishing for a cig to be allowed on site and then paused as he shone his flashlight across the cage.

A boy was standing in front of it. The boy was eleven, with long hair in four shades of yellow, a rain jacket and wearing slippers. Nothing about that was normal, and he walked forward carefully, checking the charge on his taser. It was possible someone had brought a kid into the facility. It wasn't allowed, but Kev understood that didn't actually matter unless it did.

The boy was touching the cage with a hand and turned to look at Kev.

The safari didn't vanish. It couldn't. But a new perfect memory entered his head. The boy's grin was huge, and friendly, innocent and joyous and it it went through Kev like an earthquake. No one had a grin like that.

"Hi! Oomri!glup says you're nicer than most humans to them, but! you seem kind of worried?!" The boy stared up at Kev without a hint of fear to him at all. "I bet that's because Charlie is outside and she's really scary you know!"

And somehow, Kev did. The boy's voice wove beliefs and stories into him.

"I'm Jay, and I'm here to help Oomri!glup, who wants to go back home and can't make a Way."

"... you can do that?"

"Uh-huh!" The pride in those two words invoked a certainty beyond truth.

Kev heard a beep, and realized his taser had turned off, the battery drained. It was almost not a surprise to get nothing from the radio.

"You did something to my taser?"

"Oh! It didn't want to hurt anyone so I did a helping. I'm really good at those but I kinda have to do a big one now and that takes a lot of bindings."

The Creature was at the far corner of the glass, far from the boy. The colours of it had changed, in a way Kev couldn't have defined as most of them weren't colours you could see. It seemed to be writhing.

The boy crossed his arms. "I'm not going to hurt you! That would be mean, and just because some people hurt you doesn't mean everyone will."

The Creature moved closer, slowly.

Jay tapped the glass.

The glass rippled and was no longer there.

The boy held up a hand, and the Creature didn't move. It rippled too, and was simply no longer in the cage a moment later. Jay lowered his hand, taking a few deep breaths.

"Wow! That was really hard: Oomri!glup was from pretty far away and got really lost in some kind of trick but they are OK now and..." The boy pulled out a cell phone, checking a text. "Oh, that's a good point. Honcho has all the best points you know." The glass reappeared. It had a pink tint it had never had before.

The boy nodded to Kev. "I should check on Charlie now and - oh!" Alarms blared, sirens going off everywhere in the facility.

The boy snapped the fingers of his right hand. "That's not fair; I didn't do an oops at all."

The sirens vanished. A moment later the boy stepped sideways and was gone as well.

* Kev was debriefed violently. He explained the matter thrice, but for some reason never told anyone the Creature was called Oomri!glup: that seemed like something no one else should know.

They brought in an expert. The expert listened to his account, and then nodded once.

"The facility did not have jaysome insurance. That is hardly your fault."

And Kev was let go, with a year's pay and a proper NDA in place. He didn't know what would happen to everyone else who worked here, and wasn't about to ask. There were two messages on his phone when he returned to his apartment. One from his sister checking in, another from Jay asking if he needed a hug. Jay's name was added to his contacts as well.

Kev deleted the message, discovered he could not delete the contact.

He had a long shower, and slept.

“Earth’s military took him down like, 8 years ago? We’re basically torturing an elder god, there’s no way this ends well, but what can we do at this point?”

[consumeconstantly]

Lady Cross (first aid)

Summary: Somehow, Marinette always ends up biting off more than she can chew. It started off with a kid and a nasty gash on their knee. The sudden escalation to treating the new head of Gotham’s underworld? It can only be explained by the fact that she’s catnip for trouble. 

_____________________________________________

Marinette supposed she should have expected something like this to happen eventually.

Really, she patches up a few street kids and offers a meal and some resources and suddenly she's made a name for herself in the slums of Gotham. It’s not like she’s doing anything revolutionary. Well, okay, maybe she does cheat a little bit and uses her healing powers on a few of the tougher cases that really should have been out of her realm of expertise, but she’s living near the slums of Gotham for a reason. That reason being Marinette is just a little broke and can’t really afford to send everyone she comes across to the hospital, and the people who are injured certainly can’t. It’s not like she can leave them to die. That would be heartless.

When she stopped treating scrapes and cuts for kids on the streets as she came across them and instead found her apartment balcony frequented by families who needed her help, she couldn’t just say no. And so, more and more serious wounds started coming in. Kids brought their parents and friends. The parents and friends brought... well, if the police stopped by her apartment any time soon, she’s fairly certain they’d have a field day.

But again, it’s not like she’s going to turn these people into the police when they’ve come to her for help and have a small army of people who swear up and down that they’re good people and only doing what they have to do in order to get by.

Morality comes in such a variety of shades, who was she to judge? Ladybug and Marinette have both certainly had their fair share of mistakes that they’d gladly go back in time to rectify, and her hands weren’t clean of blood either. Sure, the Miraculous Cure may have brought people back, but their deaths were still on her. And Hawkmoth? Yeah, he’s alive now, but she hammered him into the pavement after dropping him from the top of the Eiffel tower, and she’s not going to pretend that she didn’t take a bit of morbid joy in that moment.

But back to the matter at hand. Which was, the notorious Red Hood—responsible for a coup amongst Gotham’s drug dealers and responsible for taking down a man whose morality truly vanished with the wind, Black Mask himself— was currently bleeding out on her second floor balcony, smoking a cigarette and lounging against the rail like he owned the place. 

“Lady Cross,” he inclined his head.

“Red Hood,” Marinette returned his greeting.

God, she really didn’t want to get involved with Red Hood. She wasn’t opposed to helping out street thugs and criminals, but Red Hood was a different league. He seemed to be a fairly decent guy, ensuring that kids weren’t dealt drugs and tried to keep them out of the circuit as much as possible. He took down plenty of worse criminals while he was at it. In fact, Marinette would go so far to say the Red Hood as one the good guys.

But the issue was, once she started treating people of a certain level, she’d be open game. And that didn’t seem very enticing to her. Not at all. Everyone knew that Red Hood had beef with the Bat Family for some reason or other, and also made enemies with almost every single rogue in Gotham, and a good number of enemies outside of it as well. Basically, Red Hood was a universal enemy of both the vigilantes and rogues. Someone she shouldn’t get involved with while she was trying to investigate the darkness surrounding Gotham whole running her online boutique and going to college at Gotham University.

Unfortunately, Tom and Sabine and her own stint as Ladybug taught her that she could never ignore someone in need. Marinette sighed and slid the mesh open, leading Red Hood to her living room. “Let’s get this over with, shall we?”

“Real nice place you got here,” he said.

With the mask covering the whole of his face, Marinette had no facial expressions to figure out whether he was poking fun at her current living situation or not. His voice sounded genuine, but vocal emotions were easy to fake.

The apartment she was living in was not on the nice side of town. There were three bullet holes in the wall between her living room and bedroom that she just didn’t have time to patch up, some pretty nasty looking stains on the ceiling near her kitchen, and a huge, spray painted red cross on one of her walls, which was where her street name derived from. Her floor and coffee table were also in states of disarray; she hadn’t gotten the opportunity to clean up after working on two commissions and the last guest whose wounds were heavy enough to warrant several rolls of gauze, which was now half stuffed into a garbage can sitting next to rolls of fabric. Perhaps not the neatest or most sanitary situation, but she didn’t have time to clean up before every single one of her unexpected guests came in.

Look, it wasn’t her fault that she didn’t have time to fix things up real nice and neat. She’d only been living in the apartment for a month and a half, and most times, she barely spent any time in it other than to sleep, cram last minute projects for her design course, or to help heal people. Her living situation wasn’t the biggest of worries.

“Sit,” Marinette gestured to the one of the few pieces of furniture that she specifically bought for the apartment. She didn’t mind the stained, half broken, and extremely creaky couch the last owners left behind for the first week, but after she started bringing back her first… visitors, it seemed important that the couch was comfortable, sturdy, and most crucially, cleanable.

Rummaging through a cabinet, she pulled out a tattered briefcase she thrifted a while back to keep all of her medical supplies in. Not the prettiest of things, but she tried not to keep expensive looking items in her apartment because she wasn’t a fan of getting mugged. The medicine she kept was already expensive enough, she didn’t need to attract everyone’s attention by owning one of those metal containers used in hospitals. Even though most of the people who dropped by her apartment were thankful to be treated, she had a few instances where people tried to steal things from her.

“What’s the damage, doc?” Red Hood’s voice came through rather tinny through his helmet. 

Marinette grimaced. The helmet must have awful air circulation. It looked like some sort of metal, and wet and metal never smelled good together. “I don’t know, you tell me.”

“Thought you were supposed to be some mystic healer who came from the far east.”

She paused and looked at the man, trying to judge whether he was racist as well as rude. “That’s rather insulting.” 

Red Hood shrugged. Marinette applauded the man for showing no outward sign of pain at that, even though there was a bullet embedded in his shoulder, and shrugging had to bite. “That’s what the word on the street is, though you sound French to me. Thought I’d come and check out who’s healing Gotham’s criminals. What’re you planning?”

“Sorry to foil your plans, but I’m not planning anything other than getting my college degree and not pissing off the people I live near.” She paused, flipping the lock on the briefcase upwards. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t use me as your go to healer from now on. You’re going to bring trouble my way.”

“Trouble? Me? Perish the thought.” His hand rested comfortably on the holister of his gun, ready to shoot if the girl pulled out a weapon from the briefcase. “We’ll talk about repeat appearances after I see how you do today.”

Marinette rolled her eyes. “Any wounds other than the obvious?”

“Just need the bullet out, and some stitches on the gash.” His shoulder and his abdomen, respectively. The gash looked nastier than the bullet; no shrapnel, but the cut on his stomach was jagged and wide. Not a normal, sharp blade. Probably needed a good cleaning.

She grabbed the tweezers, a sterilized needle, and medical thread. “That’s fine. Now are you going to undress, or am I going to have to cut your… costume… up?”

“Getting me naked already? We haven’t even had our first date yet.”

“Very funny, little Red Riding Hood. Now hop to it. I have class at 9 tomorrow and projects to finish tonight.” Somehow, trouble always seemed to find her when she least wanted it to. Not that she wanted to have trouble find her at all, but luck was a two way street, and for all that being Ladybug granted her good luck, she attracted criminals like catnip. 

“And here my informants had me thinking you were a regular Florence Nightingale.”

Marinette snorted. “They wish. I’ve got to ask who told you, because everybody should know the rules. You know, the ones where they don’t speak of my existence to their higher ups?”

“I’m not a rat,” Red Hood said, taking the top part of his outfit off. “And it’s not like you would have gone unnoticed anyways. You might be treating small timers now, but people catch on to healers pretty easy.”

“Because some gauze and sewing skills make me such a prime target.”

“No, your magic does.”

Shit. Marinette never told anyone she was using magic, and she rarely used it unless it was a dire situation. If she could patch them up using regular skills, she did. 

“Yeah right, if I had magic healing powers, do you think I’d be shoving my fingers into your shoulder to get a bullet out?”

“Not a very good liar, Lady Cross. You have this deer-caught-in-the-headlights look about you.”

“Thanks for the compliment. I’m also the deer that tramples through your windshield and takes a dump on the driver’s seat.” She maneuvered the tweezers a little rougher, hoping to make Red Hood hiss in pain. He just chuckled, amused. His high pain tolerance was getting rather annoying. She had half a mind to pour hydrogen peroxide over the wound just to see if that would make him show he was in pain, but thought better of it. Even though she didn’t like the man, she also didn’t want to piss him off. Or worse, have him come back and make her fix him up again. 

Threading the needle, she made quick, small stitches on his shoulder, sewing the bullet hole up, then put some petroleum jelly to speed up the healing process and reduce scarring. At least the wound was in a position that didn’t require a lot of gauze. She needed to go out and buy some more soon. She barely had enough to wrap around Red Hood’s waist.

“So, the magic,” Red Hood started. “Is it a conditional thing? Can you not use it all the time?”

“Again, I don’t have magic.” Marinette did have to use some antibacterial on the knife wound. He would need to take good care of that one to make sure it didn’t get infected. 

“So a meta, then. What are you doing in Gotham? Everybody knows Batman hates metas.”

“Not a meta, either, sorry to disappoint.” She tied off the gauze, then stood to wash her hands. “Make sure to clean the stomach wound well. Hope you have your tetanus shot, otherwise you should look into getting one.”

“Surprisingly, I’m inclined to believe you on the not-a-meta thing. Back to the first thing, then. Magic. Why don’t you show me the old razzle dazzle? Do you have to say one of those weird spells like the godmother in Cinderella? Bibbity bobbity boo?”

“You’re hilarious,” Marinette dead panned. 

“How’s this for magic? Bibbity bobbity boo, kindly leave. Shoo.” She followed his suggestion, made a show of jazz hands as well. “Pity I don’t use magic otherwise you’d be gone now. Anyways, it’s time for you to make your exit. It would be great if you didn't visit me again. Ever. Thanks.”

She ushered him out onto her patio, then slammed the sliding door. He saluted her before dropping off the side of the building. She could imagine the man under the helmet smirking.

Marinette ran a hand through her loose hair. “He’s going to come back, isn’t he.”

@jasonette-july-2k20

[halothenthehorns]

TLTNL- DEPARTMENT OF MYSTERIES

Lily's dark red hair could have actually been set ablaze and she wouldn't have noticed as she held Remus' gaze, her hand held out expectantly. Careful of each move he made, he passed it to her like a loaded gun, all eyes now on her as she started in as clear a voice as she could manage. She cared about Sirius like her own adopted, annoying as piss little brother, but only for the past three years or so. She had not a clue how to help any of them with a grief ten times her own, but damn it all, she was going to read her part and hope the universe would just do one kind thing for her and let this be the chapter with an answer already, they weren't going to last much longer without finding out what happened to him!

Harry got clumsily onto his horse, hampered by the beast still trying to lick his robes.

"Snack for the road," Sirius agreed.

"You really are lucky these things have been dealing with Hagrid all their life, otherwise that would be going an entirely different way," Remus muttered, but since they were all right next to each other they heard anyways and simply chose to ignore him.

He tried to get comfortable on the boney back, finding little notches behind the wing joints he could secure his feet in.

"You've even got practice from Buckbeak," James agreed, hardly believing his own words, that this was his son's life.

Around him, Neville was clinging to the Thestrals neck threatening to strangle the beast though it seemed not to mind, Luna was sitting sidesaddle as if she did this every day,

"Maybe she does," Sirius shrugged, now picturing her house with a herd of unicorns on the property, it fit her anyways.

while the other three were watching them with open mouths.

"I can imagine," Lily agreed. Even with Harry's descriptive depictions of them, all she could see in her mind was three of them apparently sitting on top of nothing, and sympathizing more with the other three.

  He impatiently asked what they were waiting for, and Ron pointed out they could hardly get on something they couldn't see.

Luna slipped off with ease and guided them each to one, helping them feel secure before she got back astride her own.

Ron kept running his hand along the silky mane, stating how mad this was, if only he could see it this would be slightly less mad!

Harry told him he'd better hope they stayed invisible.

Lily spluttered as she looked around desperately to him, but Harry couldn't find it in him to apologize for the bleak words, as he still wasn't sure if they remained true.

Then he told his Thestral to head to the Ministry of Magic, visitors entrance in London.

There was only a moment's hesitation, before he was launched into the air to a bright red sunset.

Harry couldn't feel that errant fascination. He could picture it, sitting around trying to pick their brains apart wondering the how's and why's a Thestral was able to do this, a magical ability or some inner bred trait...but he could not find the words to start anything of the sort.

On they soared, the air tearing through them at high velocity as the castle quickly faded in the background, the Thestrals taking them across wide mountains and soon even across tiny villages.

Ron was still shouting for all to here how bizarre this was, and Harry imagined it would be worse for those who were seemingly going along with this without support.

"Oi, Prongs, what about an invisible broom?" Sirius launched at him what was clearly an old thing between them, Sirius loved offering him new broom designs even if they only did appear on paper for now.

James still had to take a slow, careful breath to make sure he wouldn't start panicking again if he unclenched his throat before agreeing, "I can't believe we never thought of that. As often as we lived under the Cloak."

Night fell, the world around them turning into nothing but a sea of lights whenever they passed over a town now, and Harry cared nothing for it, still more concentrated on his scar and any foreign feelings. He still had nothing to go on, no jubilation or triumph, not even the burn he'd felt when Mr. Weasley had been attacked.

Lily's eyes burned, her throat like its own heavy weight trying to force her not to say those words. She just didn't want to believe this was happening...

Time flew by as fast as the beasts, who barely flapped their wings as fast as they traveled.

Sirius clenched his fists, it was getting harder all the time to hold onto his acceptance of this happening to him. Last time Harry had gone through a sensation like this he'd been speeding towards Order headquarters, to safety, now he was pelting into danger all for him, it wasn't right he'd never seemed to have done anything for Harry's life except cause him more trouble.

Harry's inner mind still arguing back and forth if he had time...but Sirius was still fighting, he could feel it; but if Sirius cracked...he'd know!

Lily could only read Harry's internal fight in a whisper, her voice would go no stronger, he just had to be right, Sirius would be okay...

This went on until the new sensation of the Thestral leaning down, and Harry slid forward almost onto its neck at such a fast descent.

Sirius muttered anxiously, as if he'd been hoping Harry would never get to this point. The others ignored him. Despite the fear clinging to them for Harry finally arriving, this had been what they'd been wanting, hoping for, Harry was going to save him just like he had so many others.

He thought he heard a shriek behind him and twisted around dangerously,

Lily's eyes nearly fell out of her head she jumped so hard, kept reading fast as she could, she knew Harry wasn't collapsing on himself just by her forceful tone, the promise of an immediate answer.

but could see no sign of a falling body . . . presumably they had all received a shock from the change of direction, just as he had.

Harry had still shook anew as he all too easily pictured it, that really could have been one of his friends and what would he have done? Stopped trying to get Sirius and go help them? The question was unbearable with no answer.

The lights below were flooding his vision now, coming in quickly until buildings were discernable, and then the Thestral gave a surprisingly light landing right next to the old vandalised telephone box.

James was having to fight off the urge to start screaming in frustration all over again. Of the last time Harry had been here, and how this was somehow unbelievably worse, far more precious than school expulsion.

Ron stumbled off of his at once, staggering around as if drunk while muttering never again, only to collide with yet another Thestral he couldn't see and stating never, ever again!*

Sirius' whole body was still shaking, and he wanted to pretend just for a moment it was all for Ron's unintentional humor right there at the poor lads expense.

Hermione and Ginny got off with just a bit more dignity, while the other three dismounted and looked at Harry expectantly, Luna asking what next as if this were a day trip.

"I really do like this one," Sirius politely informed Harry. "You clearly need her around more, never met a more level headed person."

Harry gave him an even look, considering no one had seemed to appreciate Hermione trying to keep her head while he was losing his, but the difference was fair, Luna was going along while keeping herself in check where as to them it felt as if Hermione was only hurting them more than helping them until it came down to it.

He gave his Thestral a quick, grateful pat,

Remus felt somewhere in him the gratitude as well, never failing to notice Harry's care for creatures that many wouldn't have given a passing glance to in this situation.

and went over to the telephone box, all of them cramming inside, and Ron having to bend his arm awkwardly to reach it while Harry told him the numbers to activate it.

"How on Earth did you remember that almost a year later?" Sirius demanded.

"It was a rather memorable day," Lily reminded when Harry's jaw was trembling too hard to figure his own response.

The welcoming voice greeted them and again asked who they were and to state their business.

Harry prattled off who all was in here quickly,

"Would have been an awkward moment if you'd suddenly realized you didn't know someone's last name," Sirius pointed out.

"Padfoot I swear-" James scowled at him for the near constant interruptions now when he just wanted to hear of him walking back out of this place.

Sirius just smirked, he wasn't going to stop and Prongs wasn't going to make him, his talking was the most reassurance he could offer them he was fine.

Remus sadly chose to indulge him as well, saying, "I'm just impressed Harry didn't try to say it was only him. It wouldn't have worked, the magic would register them all, but it's interesting he's not even thought of cheating the system even now."

"Truly Lily's Fawn," Sirius chuckled, never having more appreciated the blend of his best mate and the wife in this kid, and all the more fascinated he'd grown as such without having them around.

and said they were trying to save someone unless the Ministry wanted to do it first!

"Don't encourage them," Lily shivered, as that's all they needed, to get Sirius out of one danger only for him to be executed on the spot by some Ministry fool.

The voice thanked them and let six pins slide out of the slot again, Harry saw the top most one said his name and Rescue Mission.

Sirius managed an awkward kind of laugh they had a badge for that, though he was sure it was much simpler and the voice only reprinted the 'business.'

He was again warned to have his wand checked in the Atrium, and the moment Harry impatiently agreed the lift was moving.

Down below, the great hall was empty, not a soul in sight, even the grates had gone dark.

Lily's innards gave another squeeze, the pain as if fresh all over again. The visitors entrance should have been closed after visiting hours, the security guard should have at once noted their entrance. Impossibly, this was feeling more dangerous by the word.

Harry was once again wished a pleasant evening by the woman's voice,

"So do I," Sirius muttered, unable to think of the consequences if they weren't.

and the door opened to the great sight of the fountain.

"I have been wondering what Hermione would think of that thing," Sirius mock cheered.

James wrapped his arm tight around Sirius, to pull him in even closer, and try to muffle him for just a moment.

Harry disregarded it and ran right past, also going straight to the lifts without being stopped because the guards seat from before was vacant.

Whatever composure Sirius had once held finally slipped away, his breath came out in a hiss that may well have been his last. "Hermione was right."

"Sirius?" James demanded in concern.

"This is a set up," Lily was almost too horrified to whisper the words. "There should always be someone there!"

"Why?!" Remus rasped, his voice far more hoarse than after any full moon as this set in.

"I don't know," Sirius murmured, eyes locked on Harry's. It was a miracle if his pup could even hear them; he was stiff, pale, and looked in far more pain than they'd yet seen him which was really saying something. It terrified them all, that Harry had been set up and Sirius was the key in this happening, and they had just as many answers to this as they did if Sirius was going to be okay!

It made them all realize at once though, this was why Sirius hadn't yet been cast off as no use for whatever Voldemort wanted him to get, because Sirius wasn't supposed to be the one getting it. Somehow, he needed Harry for this, and Voldemort was just playing with a new toy in the meantime until Harry got there. The moment he arrived though...kill the spare, echoed in the back of all their minds so loud Voldemort could have been standing in the room hissing it for their ears.

Harry felt sure there should have been, and it felt ominous as he pushed the down button, the lift arriving causing far more noise than he remembered, the din would surely raise every alarm in the building.

'Normally it would have,' Remus found the urge somewhere in him to agree, but it helped nothing to still his thready heart beats. If even there was someone at the Ministry, it would only be another spare now...every single person with Harry somehow felt in even more danger than before this trap had been sprung.

Yet when they made it to the Department of Mysteries, the doors opened, still no one was there. Finally, after all those months, he was in person walking to the plain black door.

Harry's grip was turning bruising on his own head, he looked likely to rip his own ear off in moments. The deep feeling gnawing at him all year, warning of this place had finally come full front in understanding. He pleaded with his mind to take it back, he wouldn't make this mistake again, but as always, his pleas went ignored.

The others followed without question, Luna's mouth opened slightly gazing around.

Sirius found an odd noise pushing against his vocal cords, like a laugh did want to come through at Luna's reaction to all this.

He stopped just in front of the door, saying maybe they should have a look out-

"I get what you're trying to do," James shivered, his eyes still hardly following along in here less than ever even as he kept the minimal focus on what was being said, yet always feeling each word with the intensity of the answer he needed. "I wouldn't find it a good idea though Harry, being separated at a time like this when you have no clue if Voldemort's alone in there..." His voice failed, his own words weren't enough to convey whom he suddenly feared could be in there, simply watching all this happen. Harry had been bad enough, a genuine stab in his heart, but if he was in there...

All refused this idea, and Harry said no more about it as he pushed the door open, and stepped over the threshold.

'Shouldn't that have been locked?' Harry's mind pushed that thought so violently into his consciousness he curled into himself all over again, just wishing all this pain away. His dreams, for almost a year now, had always shown him nothing but this until much later, when something had changed and it was all too twisted together for him to understand the difference now...

Lily was struggling to grasp how Harry had done it. She was a fine tuned mess just imagining all this, she'd have been running forward and screaming for him, but then she supposed, that's how she felt right now just hearing about this. In fights with Death Eaters, against Voldemort himself, there had been no true feeling until much after the fact, and she fought for that now, some level of clear headedness Harry held in his time that seemed to be evading him in here having to relive this with them.

They were standing in a large, dark room, only lit with blue torches, the ceiling and floor indiscernible from each other so that they may have been standing in an endless dark water.

Some nerve ending not yet connected in his mind gave a hard thump at the reminder, far too lost in the background of memories yet collected to even be registered at a time like this.

Harry told the last person to close the door behind them, and instantly regretted it.

"Why?" Remus demanded.

"To not be caught from behind," Harry said slowly, though it was getting harder by the moment to stay in the moment of answering even the simplest questions of what had been running through his mind at the time.

In his dream, Harry had always walked purposefully across this room to the door immediately opposite the entrance and walked on.

"Because it's such a comfort Voldemort knew this place well enough he knew exactly where to go, even when he couldn't get in," Sirius said bitterly.

Now though, there were doors on all sides of him, even straight across it was impossible to tell which should he have picked. Then they began to move.

With a great rumbling, the wall spun in such a blur it left blue lights imprinted into their eyes, Hermione grabbed hold of Harry in fear as if the floor would start up as well.

Some absent part of James' mind honestly wondered at a time like this if Ron would get jealous of that too. Sirius must be rubbing off on him.

As suddenly as it had started, it all stopped, and everything became stationary once again.

"How the bloody hell did you end up in a maze again?" Remus demanded before he'd even thought of his own words; while Harry finally lost his fight and cried out in pain. His dry heaves promised any moment he was going to start vomiting all over again.

"I'm sorry!" Remus gasped, he couldn't believe he'd just said that! "I'm so sorry Harry, I-"

Harry didn't hear anymore, couldn't see anything but the dark black of the endless room and a graveyard.

"Moony, you idiot," Sirius primly informed him while Harry buried his face into Sirius' shoulder.

"I-"

"Shh," James shushed him, watching his son and thinking back to the other night, Harry calling out for Sirius with such insistence. It was all too clear why now, and Remus apologizing for his mouth getting away from him was not at all going to be held against him by them.

Past Harry's own heaving mind, it took him quite some time to hear anything else, and the first thing he heard was Sirius muttering something. This was hurting like nothing before, if ever he'd had one memory he wouldn't gain back it would have been whatever was waiting at the end of this particular journey, but finally he gained some stability back in him when he leaned back and looked his godfather in the face.

Scared didn't cover it, but somehow Remus' words also left him reeling from a different kind of pain, yet a reminder all the same of what he'd lived through. He'd been so sure he was going to die that night in the graveyard and he'd been wrong then, maybe he had this all wrong and it wasn't Sirius' life in danger but his own? If he came close to death again, that could certainly be what had him so far stretched for this day. Yes, that must be it, if he somehow traded himself for Sirius and something almost happened to him, he without a doubt could handle that. He turned back to his mother and finally found in him the steadiness he'd possed when going to rescue Sirius, now that he was much more easily able to ignore the fright from his past trying to tell him what was happening.

Remus still looked miserable he'd scared Harry so bad, but at the same time they all felt more hopeful than ever for the outcome that had to be true. Harry wasn't going to let what happened to Cedric happen again, that look of determination on his face promised that, right?

Harry said in frustration he had even less of a clue which door now, but Ginny pointed out they didn't even know how to get back now; which was all too true. Every door was as unremarkable as the last, their exit blending in with the door they still had no clue which to go through in the dozen around them.

"How the bloody hell do people actually work in this place?" Harry muttered belligerently. He may be sitting at a better place, but it hardly improved his mood past grating frustration he was still in there rather than running out with his godfather and friends.

"I have no clue," Lily said honestly, though she now had every intentions of asking someone, just in case.

Harry said they'd worry about that later.

Hermione warned Harry not to start shouting for Sirius. Harry hadn't needed that advice, all his instincts were warning him to remain quiet.

James made a huffy little noise, still wanting someone nearer to blame and landing on Hermione again, why had Harry wanted her to come along again if he'd said himself he didn't need her advice.

Ron asked where they were supposed to start, and Harry began to say he didn't- but then swallowed the rest.

"Probably best not to go admitting right now I had no clue what I was doing," Harry said morosely, though no one had needed that pause explained.

Instead he explained the dream, the room they were searching for, and so they could only try whatever was next. He marched forward to a door, and it opened with ease.

"All six of you should have tried a door at once," Remus ruffled his brow as he tried to work this out. "You said there's a dozen doors, give half of them a push, and then do the others."

"I'm wondering if they even could," Sirius disagreed. "I'll bet you can't open more than one at once."

"Plus, his friends were right, they really shouldn't be separated, even like that," James shivered yet again, though he'd never quite stopped. "Probably best to all focus on one at a time."

Inside was a small rectangular room much resembling a classroom, it even had desks,

"This place gets creepier every minute," Sirius shifted restlessly, not wanting to know what kind of classes were held in there.

but instead of a desk, there was a tank at the back of the room, floating in an eerie green liquid, that housed brains.

"What?" Remus barked in disgust.

Lily's squidged up face made it clear she had not misread that as she continued.

They inched closer, but their eyes did not deceive them, several of them were floating like grotesque cauliflowers.

James could think of nothing to say to that but, "Why?"

"For you I'm sure, clearly the first one wasn't doing you any good," Sirius offered.

James shook his head in disbelief at his idiotic friend even as that did manage to make him smile just for a moment again, though a reply escaped him, far too busy trying to get Lily to go on.

Harry muttered they should get out of here, this wasn't the right place, but Ron asked if they should try one of these doors?

Harry looked around and saw he was right, even along this room were yet more doors. How big was this place?

Lily wondered if she was the only one who remembered Snape, how positive she was he'd understood Harry and had sent word of what had happened. That meant the Order should have been there by now, honestly beaten Harry here as they'd have a much faster way of it. Was this already taken care of, Sirius was fine, and now they were searching for the kids? She certainly hoped so, though her fingers cramping along the pages only tensed more with hurt this couldn't just be done with, the suspense was going to kill her faster than anything now.

Harry insisted they should stick with his dream, and he'd gone from that first room into a glittering one. This wasn't it, so they should try again.

Before this door was closed though,

"How do you close a door without a handle?" Sirius muttered.

"Close it as you leave you ding-dong," Remus huffed back, though he wasn't surprised that was a concept that escaped him.

Hermione used the spell Flagrate on it, crossing a red x on the door with her own magical fire.

Once the door was closed, the spinning began again, except now the new color was added to the mix, and was still present when the doors stopped again, showing the door they'd just tried on their left.

"That's brilliant," James didn't have a touch of grudge in his voice as he complimented this, telling his mind to stop taking this out on Hermione when she was still the only one coming up with recurring plans for this.

Harry moved onto the next door.

In this was a large stone pit, the whole room nothing but steps descending down to a raised dais with its own set of stairs leading up to an aged arch with a long dark veil fluttering as if someone had just touched it.

The fear for Sirius' life was still running rampant through Lily, but some intrigue for this place was coloring just a bit of her tone so she finally didn't feel like she was reading about an Inferi. That brain room, now this, the Department of Mysteries really lived up to its name.

She dared not glance up at Harry again when he'd finally marshaled himself into control being in here, and everyone else was still keeping one protective eye on Sirius and the other on her for some kind of change that wasn't the kids poking around. Haste still left them all twitchy with no real movement to be had in here.

So they all missed the dread flinging back into Harry, whatever sense of security he'd once had failing him again as memory of this room was replaced...

Harry jumped curiously down the steps, asking who was in here?

"What the hell is that?" Sirius muttered, his lower lip sticking out slightly as he concentrated on this alone rather than where he was possibly one door off.

"It, sounds like a lethifold," Remus began a bit curiously, explaining for Harry's benefit even as he hadn't quite noticed yet he wasn't really paying much attention to the chatter around him. "Also known as a living shroud, it honestly looks like a shadow moving, it creeps up on people in their sleep and envelopes them, they pass right through it and are never seen again, I suppose they're eaten alive. Only known defence for it is actually a Patronus, which is why they're classified so dangerous, though they don't cause the same effects as a dementor. They're mainly found in the tropics though, I suppose they could be studying this one-"

"Must you relate everything back to beasts," James muttered with a small shake to his head, wishing he had more energy to pick on Moony for this. His father used to speak of the Department of Mysteries just like Arthur did, and whatever information was passed around only spoke of how ancient the place was, possibly the whole Ministry had been built around this one area. James honestly didn't think this was something so passable as that, and he had a nagging feeling this well could be the actual center of the whole place, and he didn't at all like the sound of it.

Harry went all the way up, right to the arch, and called out to Sirius.

Sirius gave a heavy sigh as he gave Harry's shoulder a comforting squeeze, noting how hard he was trembling again and still hoping he'd appear at Harry's side any moment now so they could all get out of there.

He had the strangest feeling that there was someone standing right behind the veil on the other side of the archway.

"I somehow doubt Voldemort has me hiding behind that puny thing with him," Sirius rolled his eyes as obvious as it was possible to do to keep Harry's attention now.

Harry dragged his eyes to his godfather's face, there was a truth and a lie somewhere in there, and it was impossible to know which was what.

Hermione hissed at him there was no one in here, they should keep going, but Harry was entranced now, finding the fluttering curtain such a curious sight he wanted to go up to it and push it aside, go through the arch himself.

"Oh great, this thing is even creepier than the last thing they came across!" Remus grumbled.

"Harry doesn't go through it," Sirius shrugged with confidence for that.

"Hermione gets him away," James agreed, trying to push Lily onto that part already.

Harry was still watching Sirius, his vision shaking so bad he could have fallen into a seizure any moment and not known the difference.

This close, he was sure he could hear whispering.

"Sirius isn't there Harry," James said through gritted teeth, he couldn't understand why Harry hadn't left yet when he realized this.

Lily grasped his hand with one of hers, looking first to him before telling Harry, "it's alright love, you'll get there."

Suddenly the image of The Mirror of Erised came back to Harry clearer than ever, and he had no will to understand why.**

Hermione was being insistent now, actually trying to pull Harry from the room, but he asked the others couldn't they hear that?

Luna agreed she could, there were people in there.

Lily felt her skin crawl, and it took all of her will to repress rubbing her hands along her arms, though somehow James understood anyways and did it for her. She snuggled into his weathered hands, grateful and wondering at how he managed to spare even a second of attention for her when he still could hardly breath in fear for what was happening to his brother.

Hermione's voice was hitting desperation as she shouted there was no 'in there.'

"Hermione really doesn't like this thing," Sirius pointed out.

"She doesn't understand it, and she has no immediate way to. Of course she doesn't," James shrugged.

Remus also was getting the start of a suspicion that Hermione had another reason somewhere in there, she had no connection to this thing.

Sirius wasn't in here, and they needed to go!

Something of that finally got through to Harry, but it was harder than it should have been for him to back up. Hermione was there though to lead him back out, and he wasn't the only one. Ron had to grab Neville's arm to bring him out as well, and Hermione was holding both Luna and Ginny's hand to escort their dazed gazes.

Remus had almost thought he'd had it for a second. His original idea wasn't holding as well, but considering lethifolds attacked those while they slept, perhaps they did create some form of whisper of their previous victims? All three who could see the Thestrals were apparently entranced by it, what if that thing spoke of death? Yet Ginny had apparently been affected by it to...but then again, she'd been a breath away from death in the Chamber. He made a disgruntled noise and told his mind to shut up, he had no want to linger on this place, Harry hopefully would never have to suffer another death again and the place was irrelevant.

Harry asked one last time what that could be, but Hermione said she was only sure it was dangerous as she crossed out that door before closing it.

"Hermione used to think I was dangerous too, oh, no wait, that one's still true," Sirius looked so proud of himself reminding them of that. It seemed impossible he was worried about his ego at a time like this, but clearly he was picturing Harry coming across him any second and seeing him in the most degrading position he could ever be in his life.

Harry just shook his head at his godfather, he'd never agreed with Hermione more in his life.

Once the place stopped spinning again, they tried the next door, which was the first and only one locked.***

"Is that one it?" James hissed, his hands tightening almost painfully around his wife now though Lily didn't feel a second of discomfort, it was grounding and helped her not to fly out of her mind with worry.

"No, no, must be something you need special access to," Remus babbled at the top of his lungs, trying to ignore his tunnel vision. "Everything else has been open and too easy, this must be something else."

Harry agreed, he had a funny little frown in place even as he said aloud, "yeah, don't think I actually go into this room."

Lily made a breathy little noise, some combination of discomfort and relief, her heart really was going to sink right out of her soon if this didn't end.

Hermione tried the Alohomora charm, but nothing happened.

"I wouldn't exactly be surprised, that spell doesn't fix everything, there's charms you can use to block charms," Lily muttered.

James moved to brushing at her hair, for the first time recognizing how grateful he was she was the one reading this. He wasn't sure what he'd do with himself when hers ended and if his began without any resolution but still more problems.

Harry even tried Sirius' knife he still had in his bag, but when he pulled the blade out from the crack in the wall, it had melted straight to the handle.

Sirius looked offended! "Oi, what the bloody hell is behind that thing!"

"Now I really don't want to know," Lily muttered, if it was warded powerfully enough to stop conventional means, she was more sure than ever it really was something she didn't want her son around.

Hermione decided they were leaving that room be, though Ron said what if that was really it with honest curiosity in place.

"I can understand that though," James sighed, another part of his life saying how cool all of this would have been to poke around any other circumstances.

Hermione reminded of Harry's dreams,

'Oh, so now his dreams are credible,' Remus thought bleakly, wishing for this attitude hours ago instead of for the first time wondering how long Frank and Alice had suffered before their damage had been irreparabile...

marking the door before they tried again, as it began spinning once they'd stepped back away from it.

Luna began to offer her own idea of what was in there,

"I'm sure she'll tell us," James told with whatever affection he could muster for a person who wasn't Sirius right now.

"Why was the wall moving? You didn't open a door," Remus muttered.

"I guess the room took that as intent and did it anyways," Harry shrugged.

Hermione said it was something blibbering before she could finish, and Neville gave a nervous laugh.

No one managed one in here, though Hermione's sarcasm right now was at least appreciated.

On the next door, Harry shouted they'd found it!

"Oh boy," James stated, trying to look over Lily's shoulder, to find at any moment what was going to happen already.

Lily wasn't giving him the chance, making sure he couldn't hurt himself by reading ahead by continuing loudly with determination now, this had to be the end, they couldn't stand anymore delays.

It was finally the room full of glittering lights sparkling off glass, which now that Harry was present saw the room dominated by a giant hour-glass that was filled with an egg that was slowly rising up, cracking as it went so that by the time it reached the top it was a fully hatched chick, but when it reached the top it sunk back down into its egg, reaching the bottom only to begin again when going up.

Harry released a suddenly heavy breath. For the first time since his vision of Sirius, his eyes traveled unfocused again, a memory trying to return to him, and he could almost hear the echo of someone calling his name, 'Harry, watch out-'

"Harry?"

Lily had frozen, everyone realized what he was doing now, and he softly whispered, "I wasn't having a go at my memories, I swear, just, this place-"

"You've been dreaming about it for ages, it's natural to start feeling overcrowded now remembering a dream coming to life," Sirius told him with comfort he was sure would help Harry to stop looking at him with that desperate face any second.

Harry didn't answer, the memory was already fading away but leaving him in no less dread of what happened in this place on any occasion.

The rest of the walls in the room were covered with every kind of clock imaginable, there was even a glass case dedicated to time-turners.

"It's a room for time," Sirius muttered in fascination, though for just a second he had a walk over the grave moment. Last time his life had been saved due to a time-turner, he didn't like the premonition Harry was walking through a room dedicated to studying that just before fetching his arse. He only hoped if something went wrong, at least Harry could come across something to help him this time as well.

Harry paid no mind to any of this as he darted through, wrenching the next available door open, they'd finally found the right place.

Lily couldn't help but still, every rampant emotion coursing through her reaching its peak all at once, and finally ebbing off for just a moment so she could collect herself. No more waiting, no more wondering, Harry was there, and whatever happened, was going to happen.

The room was large as a cathedral, with rows upon rows of shelves. Harry reminded they were looking for ninety-seven, and Hermione saw the nearest one was fifth-three,

"Why would you start-"

Remus was shushed again, and he'd never been more grateful for it. He more than anyone wished his mind would shut off, it hurt to breath enough as is without wasting the air on stupid questions.

to the right was fifty-four, so they went along that way. Harry struggled to hear anything as they took off, but no noise echoed except their own feet. Sirius was still okay though, he was possibly gagged, or even unconscious, it didn't mean...

Harry could hardly hear his mother, his own pulse thumping so loud in his ear. He cared not for anything but the steady presence of his godfather on his side, watching more than listening to those around him, it was too hard to take in every word but each syllable was held with all his concentration.

They stood grouped around the end of the row, gazing down the alley way.

There was nobody there.

It happened all at once, five heart beats stilled until every possible thing went flying through their mind too fast; he'd been stowed away, he was being tortured somewhere else now and brought back in front of Harry when needed- Harry made a noise first. Half a sob of relief, half a scream of surprise, and all around one of confusion.

Lily looked to him for some kind of answer, but it was impossible. He was actually making even less sense now than when the vision had first started. All they knew was a combination of their own fear and confusion, where was Sirius?

Harry insisted he must be down there, darting to the end with still nothing in sight. He even checked the next available rows as if he'd crawled away, and still there was no one in sight.

"I, don't, understand," James said slowly, scrutinizing Sirius now like he was still worried he'd vanish any second.

"Maybe, the Order really did come and help out already?" Remus tried to offer.

Lily shivered hard, something tight refusing to unclench in her as that still was no answer for the state Sirius was in.

Harry had no answer for any of them, feeling more every moment he only wished those around him would remain in this state of confusion, whatever lingering hope they were clinging to, because once that ended...

Hermione finally told Harry she didn't think Sirius was here.

"That's, supposed to be a good thing, Lily," Sirius said every word carefully, trying with all his might to put that into his own tone, but it was hard going.

"Right you are," Lily agreed without looking up. She'd gone in with this expecting some sort of fight between Harry and Voldemort again, now they felt more in limbo, a never ending state of fear for never being given an answer.

Nobody said a word, Harry started to feel sick with fear. He did not understand, Sirius had to be here, Harry had seen him.

"Then that's what happened!" James stated, there was no other option. "Clearly something happened in the meantime."

"The Order, or Merlin, maybe even the Ministry did find some way to step in," Remus uneasily agreed, trying to nod his head but really only getting a jerky movement in before Lily ignored the lot of them. She could feel they were trying to push into something more bearable, but her terror still resided.

He looked desperately around for some kind of clue, but there wasn't even a sign of a struggle.

Sirius hummed, nestled as he was it was harder to focus on what that could have been as he still kept eyes on Harry. He was more concerned his Godson may still well run into trouble before he caught up with him now, the idea of that ambush, that this was all set up had yet to be explained anymore than, well anything!

Ron called out to Harry, and at first Harry refused to turn back towards him, afraid Ron would tell him this was stupid and they should go back to school.

"You're not stupid!" Remus said at once, the word never should have crossed his mind when clearly something had happened, Harry just didn't know what yet.

"And Ron would never suggest otherwise," James agreed vehemently.

Instead Ron called for Harry to look at this, and he came back eagerly hoping he'd spotted something, but Ron was looking at the shelves. Now Harry stopped to look, he saw they were filled with a million glass spun orbs, all coated in dust. Some were dark, but others were lit up as if from the inside, like the one Ron was now looking at. Up close, they each had little plaques below them,

"Err," Sirius said with genuine concern now.

Lily blinked slowly, an itch at the nap of her neck promising this wasn't the kind of answer she'd been hoping for.

and the one Ron had spotted was dated sixteen years ago labeled;

S.P.T. to A.P.W.B.D.

Dark Lord

and (?)Harry Potter

"This is where the weapon's supposed to be," Remus recalled slowly, this information coming back to him now that their panic for Sirius had subsided for a moment.

"What are the odds something relating to Harry would be in the same place?" James agreed with a detached horror, he didn't believe in coincidences.

"That's a weapon?" Lily tried to scoff, not wanting to believe what they were trying to say for a moment.

"It's, something," Sirius agreed uneasily, as a memory tried to offer up what this could be, his old aunt telling a couple of kids the secrets the Ministry held.

Lily grumbled, but honestly paid it not too much mind, she still wanted more than anything to hear of Harry being out of there.

Ron was looking at the adjacent shelves and asked why none of them had one as well?

"Maybe they're in alphabetical order," Remus said snidely.

"Or Ron's just not important enough," Sirius shrugged.

"Well don't tell him that," Lily huffed.

Hermione told Harry she didn't think he should touch it, as Harry's hand had been reaching out to do.

"Neither do I!" Lily shrieked as she looked to Harry like he'd lost his mind. "Are you crazy Harry! You shouldn't be touching anything in there! Sirius wasn't in there, so you either keep looking for him or try to find someone else to find out what's going on!"

Harry kept wincing like each word had struck a blow in him.

Lily had seen she was on the last page, and while she wanted to keep informing him what an idiot her son was being, she supposed she could do that later when whatever this was stopped feeling like a mouse trap ready to snap shut. None of them had forgotten, this still felt like a trap, he'd made it here without any resistance from anyone, and they had no more explanation to that than when they started, only more questions.

Harry insisted it had his name on it, so with a reckless surge he grasped it in his hand. He'd hoped something would happen, but it only continued to swirl in his hand as if a miniature crystal ball of gray fog.

"Err, does it have an on switch?" Remus asked through that tingling feeling raising down his spine was quickly coursing out to the rest of his body, already leaving his fingers twitching for his wand any second.

"Don't know," Sirius honestly muttered, whatever details he'd tried to attain from his forgotten youth too mixed up to be of help now. "Maybe they should try breaking it open."

"That's your answer to everything," James huffed.

"He still shouldn't have even grabbed it," Lily snapped at the lot of them, anger was replacing fear, she wanted to smack her son upside the head for doing this when all she wanted him to do now was leave.

And then, from right behind them, a drawling voice spoke for Potter to give that to him.

"Who was that?" James demanded slowly.

Harry didn't even hear him, he didn't care! "Sirius isn't there," unbelievably that relief was still holding Harry together, even as something very painful tried to warn his hopes from springing too high, and he blissfully ignored it all. He'd been wrong, he'd suffered those consequences, and he wouldn't let them fall him again.

He got up and stretched, trying to walk away for just a moment to ignore that heavy weight mashing down on him for trying to remember something too early, for still feeling a part of him that knew that not to be true. Remus watched him go uncertainly, Harry growing more jittery by the second was not at all encouraging as they now had even more questions of who'd arrived, all but him seemed to agree it wasn't going to be a good thing!

Lily mutely handed the book to James while Sirius gave a flick of his wand and the living room righted itself. The couple got whizzed back across the room still partially seated and both glared at his innocent smile. James gazed heavily at the stupid book, wishing now more than ever Harry'd taken Sirius' offer when it had been given and skipped past all this while they had a chance. They'd suffered for nothing apparently, his idiot of a brother was okay, he must be! That was probably Moody right behind them, to tell them where Sirius finally was and get Harry out of there.

HPHPHP

* This one still manages to make me laugh every single time, Ron just has that effect on me I suppose.

** I also imagine Cedric said something along the lines of 'I don't blame you,' but I couldn't work out how to add that in.

***I also love the symbolism they go from the door of death to the door of love, feels appropriate.

[sahbibabe]

Hello, hope your doing well! I love your writing it's really good! Can I request a soulmate Au for Sekiro/wolf x reader, no.24 in a series format please?? 😊😅 I feel like sekiro doesn't get enough love Lol!

YES. YES. YES. Here you go~! I loved writing this. The timeline is extended more than it is in the game because it took me more than a month to beat the whole game and I doubt it takes just one day to go everywhere that Wolf did in that time.

Also, I have really strong feelings about the whole toxic 'family' relationship between Owl and Wolf. It makes me angry and pretty salty. It just came out in this.

Enjoy! ♡

"LORD KURO HAS EXPRESSED his desire to meet you." Emma sat across from you on a tatami mat, carefully pouring an herbal tea into two small cups. The glare of the sun, filtering through the open window where a nightjar stood guard, revealed dozens of sparkling gray strands in her hair, attesting to the sudden stress─and worry─that she had been confiding to you for the past couple or so weeks: that Lord Isshin grew steadily worse in condition. "He remembers you only vaguely and wishes to reacquaint himself… Should you wish, Lady [Name]."

      That was your title: Lady. Not washwoman, servant, maid, cook, or soldier; it was Lady. You had been elevated to that status on account of your military prowess long before Kuro had been revealed to be the Dragon's Heritage, but you had made it a point to be there when his mother, tragically, could not. Not after the fire.

      Kuro could have called you many things, if you had lingered in his life. He could have called you his aunt, his friend, or even his advisor, if he wanted. But he reminded you too much of your sister, his mother, and so you couldn't make yourself stay. It would be torture for him to see you, a twin reflection of his mother, as much as it would pain you to see him, a perfect resemblance of both father and mother. You had divested your abode─a small attachment towards the Serpent's Shrine, guarded by the sword wielding monkeys who favored your presence─of mirrors since then, unable to look at your own face.

      "If that's what he wants," you replied carefully, watching the shining beacon of your soulmate's danger meter rise steadily over the kanji for 'safe', 'threat', and jump right up to 'lethal'. You had watched this phenomena happen for years now, except for a brief period after the fire, but you couldn't say who it belonged to. There were plenty soldiers who risked their lives every day, but none of them had managed to cheat death so often as yours. "I don't believe he'll be safe in Ashina, not with the Dragon's Heritage."

       "You are correct." Emma set the tea pot down and offered you a cup. You took it from her one handed, preferring to warm your other hand in your lap. She took no offense, used to your daily problems with the chill. "Lord Kuro has already been taken by Lord Genichiro once. I do not doubt he would try once again. And there are others, a particular shinobi, whose motives are a mystery to me, that I don't trust."

       "You speak of Owl. Not… Wolf." You hesitated to call Kuro's loyal shinobi by that name. While it was common to do so, just like the names Orangutan and Kingfisher, you had difficulty equating such loyalty to a shinobi who most definitely would reject the Iron Code if given the chance. The meter dropped down to 'safe' again, and that knot in your throat lessened just a bit. "Am I right?"

       "Yes. He has been absent in all of this, and it's too suspicious for him to be so distant in the middle of such strife. With the ministry rallying, it's only a matter of time before things go from bad to worse. Which is why, if something happens to Wolf, as it did during the fire, I would like for you to be there to protect Lord Kuro."

       You were still young, still in your prime. You hadn't counted in many years, but you had to guess you were thirty five at the most, your sister being thirty when she passed. You were almost close to not being a spring chicken anymore. "If that is what you wish, my friend."

       Your journey to Ashina Castle was a short, but boring one. The soldiers bowed to you as you passed, putting up no sort of issue, glimpsing the family crest you wore attached to your obi. You had decided on a neutral colored yukata, designed for winter, and a thin haori to go over it and block out the cool air. Wearing a kimono would just be difficult at this point.

       When you made it to the tower lookout, you were greeted─surprisingly─by Kuro himself. Emma had told you that he rarely left the archives now that Genichiro was out on the loose, run rampant by the Rejuvenating Sediment, so it was a bit of a shock considering what you had been told. You realized that he had been watching you leap across the rooftops, too lazy to take the proper way, with a nightjar at your side to keep you from falling to your death.

        By his side, hand on a katana that had been named Kusabimaru, stood Wolf. You knew, almost instantly, that he was the one who had been causing your meter to skyrocket at various times of the day and fluctuate wildly. It was almost like a seventh sense, drawing you to him even though you didn't take a step in his direction. By looking at his face, the soulmate pull had been overrode by the desire to protect Kuro, and you found that admirable.

       So you looked away, those dark eyes still trained on you guardedly, and faced Kuro once more. He looked more and more like his parents as he aged, so much so that it was almost painful to look at him.

       He seemed to be having similar thoughts, eyebrows creased just slightly.

      "Lord Kuro," you greeted him, bowing slightly at the waist. That was where you differentiated from your sister; your voices were very different. Where your sister held a stern, throaty voice, yours was very soft and quiet, but held a hard edge that had Wolf on alert. "It's nice to see you again."

       "Lady [Name]." Kuro stepped forward, Wolf in his shadow. He reached out, hesitantly, but propriety stopped him from touching you. "I…"

     You smiled and kneeled down just slightly, careful not to dirty your yukata, and took his hands in yours. "It's alright. I know I look a lot like her. It's hard, isn't it?"

     He didn't say a word, but you could see it in his eyes that it did. You squeezed his hands and stood back to your full height, allowing his fingers to slip from yours. He was still so tiny.

      "Let us go inside. The birds have ears, here," you urged cautiously. Wolf seemed to realize what you were talking about and his eyebrows lowered suspiciously; typical.

       For the next few days, you relearned how to deal with children burdened with an enormous task. Sometimes, Kuro just wanted to be normal and have a normal life, which you understood. The life of the Dragon's Heritage did not come peacefully or cheaply; it was dangerous, rife with struggle. It was why, he told you over tea while Wolf was gone, that he wanted to end it.

      And you, like Emma, didn't want that to happen.

     You also, somehow, figured out that Wolf knew what you were to him, too. He never said much of anything at all to you, perhaps because of your relation to Kuro, and kept his distance when he was present. You were certain that Owl had ruined him in more ways than one with the Iron Code; you saw the drawn muscles in his face, when you were too young to have a soulmate meter, the ribs underneath that threadbare yukata. You knew that Owl starved him, probably beat lessons into him, to make him a cheaper asset to deal with. That was how Owl worked.

        It didn't stop you, or Kuro, from pressuring him to eat. Emma seemed to not want to cross that boundary of necessary acquaintance with him, which you were fine with. Kuro was good at coaxing him into eating, when he was even there, but all you had to do was set food in front of him and level him with an expectant stare, then turn to the window.

      Words seemed to escape him, most of the time, with you─but body language seemed just fine. It was easier to read to him, you supposed, being a shinobi, because intent was laid bare unless you knew how to hide it. You did. You didn't see the point when all he wanted was to protect Kuro.

       One night, while Kuro labored away over the books in the library, determined to find the source of a white flower, Wolf appeared in your quarters. He was severely wounded, the Dragon's Heritage unable to fix it quickly enough, and you darted towards him, catching him before he fell to the floor. He was worryingly light.

       As you laid him on your bed and began to clean out his wounds as best you could, you had to wonder why he didn't go to Emma. The gourd he had was empty; shouldn't she have been able to refill it? You let the gourd fill up a little bit and then made him drink it, careful to let him swallow on his own time and not choke.

       The flesh knitted before your eyes, as fast as lightning, but it was still fresh and raw, so you placed bandage wrappings over it. Whatever had attacked him had extremely long claws, as long as your body, and had gouged inch deep holes into his chest and back. They would scar, but he had plenty of other scars to be seen.

      You situated his clothing back to the way it was, returned to the windowsill where you had been reading a scroll lent to you by Isshin, and waited.

       Somehow, you had drifted off without noticing, the wooden scroll loose in your hand. You clenched it unconciously and opened your eyes, shocked to see the sun and not the moon. When you looked over, expecting to see Wolf still asleep, you were surprised to find him kneeling in front of you, head bowed, as if he had been waiting for you to wake up.

      "Wolf?" You whispered, voice hoarse, sliding sideways to place your feet on the tatami mat. "How long have you been awake?"

       "Not long." That could mean anything to him.

      "I see. How do you feel?" You got to your feet and kneeled down, resting your hand on his shoulder. He never looked at you, though you felt the muscle in his shoulder twitch in response. "You should still be resting."

        "I'll be fine. Thank you."

        "Of course." You blinked, eyes wide. "I'm your soulmate, aren't I? I wouldn't just let you bleed out and die."

        The telltale silence told you more than he could say.

        He had expected you to let him die.

       "Oh, Wolf," you sighed, urging him to his feet. He did so reluctantly, wary of your closeness but not fighting to push you away. "Owl ruined you more than I can even begin to understand."

       Again, he didn't speak, but he knew it was true.

       You smiled sadly at him, then reached up and pulled the ribbon keeping your hair tied in a loose bun. You grabbed his hand and pressed it into his palm, closing his fingers around it with your own.

       "There." You gently removed your hands; he opened his fist to stare at it. "Any time you feel any negative emotions, just look at that ribbon and remember what I told you. You can come here anytime you need me."

       He never said anything else, just left out the window he had come in through. For the first time since you had met him, he looked marginally more relaxed, more reassured, as if the idea of returning to someone who explicitly desired his presence was a comforting one.

      Over the next few months, Wolf never did pop in while you were awake, but he did leave little things for you to find when you awoke, like a small amount of rice from the Divine Child, a branch of gorgeous blossoms from the Fountainhead Palace, or even Lapis Lazuli, a precious stone that you had converted into a makeshift pendant.

       Kuro eventually slipped up and called you his aunt, which you delighted in. Isshin called you over for sake and old war stories, which you both recalled with excitement and solemnity. Emma brought you to visit Orangutan, who took one look at you and found himself remembering you on the battlefield; she helped you give offerings to your sister and brother-in-law's graves.

      But you knew that all of it was coming to an end.

       Just days before, Wolf had returned with the Gracious Gift of Tears. He had met your sad stare with one of hard resolve, and you knew that it was almost time. With the everblossom in hand, he had told you his decision secretly.

      He would die so that Kuro could live. And you had no issue with that; that was his life's purpose, the only purpose that Owl had given him that had benefited him. His love for Kuro was bright, innocent, and strong, even if he was oblivious that it was love.

       You had shed a few tears, of course, but you knew that above all, Kuro had wanted a normal life. There had been nothing else to discuss.

       That night, before Wolf was due to fight Genichiro one last time and─Kuro would tell you afterwards, when the sun had risen, Isshin as well─he had given you all he could offer a woman, and more, because after daybreak, the last immortal would be condemned.

       You had awoken to sunlight, bare and satiated, sad with the knowledge that your soulmate was no more. The meter flickered out of existence as if it had never been there to begin with.

      With Isshin and Wolf departed, there was no reason for you to remain in the rotting ruin of Ashina any longer. You gave Kuro your blessing to journey the world, as he had wished, and sent him off alongside Emma.

      Three months later, you would realize that Wolf had left you a gift; something most precious and valuable, something you would love until the day you died, and forever after that.

        A child.

       When you gave birth, Emma was there to help you. Orangutan had even departed from his temple to stand guard outside and greet the new life that had entered the world.

        It was a boy, Emma revealed with a small smile, and handed him to you. He looked nothing like you. With a faint dusting of black hair and dark eyes, he was every bit just like Wolf.

      And somewhere, out in the distance, you heard the Divine Dragon begin to sing.

[whyamistillwatchingtheseshows]

5 BL Male Characters I Love

Tagged by @negrowhat​

1. Lan Wangji from the Untamed  (which we only categorize as BL when technically it’s not but it is because of original source material but its not because of censorship but it is because of the actors Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo perfecting a peak level of pining, falling in love, and confession all through body language and stares...and perhaps a script that was delicately woven...even if lost in a bit of translation.)

Picking LWJ is me probably thinking more like “Choose Your Fighter.” That being said he’s probably my dream fantasy character. Full on, no joke. If I could be reincarnated into favorite characters, Lan Wangji would probably be my number one choice. Why you ask? Most people think of him as cold, unemotional, but honestly I think he’s so hypersensitive. It’s just not outwardly so like his equally hypersensitive husband. Wangji established himself as the fierce warrior with no voice, always finding the chaos, but soon enough, he found that voice. Found ways to be more expressive. Was it because of one man? Yes, probably, but either way I love this pining gay warrior. 

2. Fighter from Why RU? 

This boy, this character for me is the kind where I *hiss* and say stay away from me probably because at first he’s got that “fuck boy” attitude. Sort of like a mixture of seemingly arrogant with a dose of I’m sexy and I know it? Moving passed that (false judgment which actually now feels more descriptive of Tutor- he might be the fuck boy because I just thought of that scene where the basketball knocks shit out his hands and Fight’s trying to apologize and pick up his things and Tutor’s all like I can take care of myself, jumping on him for just being helpful...) Except somehow I find myself drawn to Fight. There’s something about him before he even talks to you (after you’ve made several wrong assumptions about this let’s just say stupidly good looking person), where you’re like yeah I’m already gone. What did you say? Oh, hi! You said hi. That’s cool. My name? Oh, I forgot my name...once you get passed that and actually get to know this character it’d make it far worse, because honestly I think it’s pretty clear that Fighter is unbelievably kind (+plus sweet, romantic, goofy) and for awhile there it looked like he was only kind to others (except Tutor when he had him alone) but he did in public spaces try to get him drinks and take care of him (thinking of that canteen scene where Tutor is so against the drink that Fight instead offers it up to Hwa). What I also like about Fighter is that he’s against confrontation unless he must go into defensive mode and if he does you better watch it. 

3. Sun from Dark Blue Kiss (really thought I’d choose Mork) 

It’s a close draw between the two of them, tbh. However, Sun might win the gauntlet because I feel more akin to him for some odd reason. Okay, so maybe it is both of them. So I’ll cheat on number 3 (sidenote did I already cheat on #2 because I talked an awful lot about Tutor too)? 

They have that constant “fight me” attitude, sometimes in a playful way and sometimes (maybe mostly) aggressively, but then of course somehow they turn out to be a pile of squishy, gooey, mush like fresh baked choco chip cookie. Maybe a little crisp on the edges, but in the middle it’s that ooey gooey goodness. 

4. King from My Engineer 

What is the Forest/Plant King? Chaotic good? Who knows, but I think I fell for him because they did solid character development for such a silly show. There was build up and pay off even on an individual level despite the pairing, if that makes sense. I think it’s also safe to say he’s basically a pure soul and why would anyone ever want to harm him. Yet, as we saw his head cannot be put through anymore...plus, he’s got an immeasurable amount of patience to work with Ram’s choice of rarely talking. 

5. Type from TharnType which is basically TharnType...

You know doing these and trying to separate them from their equally great partner is difficult. Thought I’d definitely go all WangXian with the first choice, however, I’m realizing it’s incredibly difficult to separate these two. They seem more glued to each other than FighterTutor. More emotionally and physically invested in the other than WangXian as well. I choose Type because he’s actually on a top 3 list in my head of characters that I feel most similar too. Somehow he makes it to the #3 spot on that list. Number 1 being Dean Winchester (from SPN) and #2 actually being #2 from this list. I think what gets me about Type is that same “fight me” attitude MorkSun have, and like them Type will go to town for the ones he loves. Yet of course, Type is also ooey gooey chocolate chip cookie goodness on the inside. He can be sweet, kind, romantic. After all, it’s still going to take him a lot of time to let go of his repressed anger and actually stop being so aggressive (though I think some of that hotheadedness ran in the family)!! 

No one asked for long drawn out explanations, but if you thought I could be brief. I can’t so I’m probably more like Wei Wuxian, but I aspire to have the resolve of Lan Wangji. I want to also honorable mention Tang Yi, if not just to shout out History 3 Trapped as a kick ass show. There’s also Two from Theory of Love. Then there’s also Shin from 3 Will Be Free, or the poly throuple that is NeoShinMiw because that you cannot make me break up. Then there’s also Win from Until We Meet Again. This list could be longer than 5 because in all truthfulness every character from each show I’ve watched has a sort of pros and cons list in my head....

Tagging @lostinbl​ @this-solaris-life​ @flower-of-the-desert​ @romanceismycallingcard​ @musicdramalove​​ @occasionally-writing​

[captcas]

Worth Fighting For (9/?)

WORTH FIGHTING FOR by capthamm

Killian “Hook” Jones is a dominate up and comer in the UFC while Emma “The Savior” Swan’s career was cut short. When Hook’s manager moves up and the office brings in UFC’s youngest legend to keep him in check, will either of them be able to handle it?

read on ao3 // tumblr: ch 1/ ch 2 / ch 3 / ch 4 / ch 5 / ch 6 / ch 7 / ch 8

[CHAPTER 9/?]

“Whoever invented folding chairs deserves a swift kick in the arse.” He points his fork at Emma as they talk over dinner. Her eyes sparkle with joy and he knows instantly he’s never seen anything more beautiful in his life.

“Jeeze, Jones, you are ancient.” She laughs, eyes rolling sarcastically, as she takes another sip of her rum and coke.

A woman after his own heart.

They’ve fallen into this easy conversation ever since he returned with the popcorn a few hours before– had he known that was the direct way to being her friend he would’ve bought an entire popcorn factory months ago. Emma watched the weigh-ins casually, knowing the ropes as much as anyone would, and it allowed them to bond a little over the sport which brought them together.

Thank God for UFC.

When she suggested they grab dinner at a restaurant beside the hotel, he hesitated at first, not wanting to push his luck, but when she took his hand and told him today should be a “cheat day”, he couldn’t have resisted if he tried. She definitely teased him for ordering a salad but he assured her that his youthful glow does require some maintenance. That’s all it took for the conversation to continue flowing as easy as ever. He glances towards his watch and realizes they’ve been talking non-stop for over an hour, Emma’s plate completely empty as the waiter takes it away.

He’s about to ask for the check when Emma speaks up, “Could we see the dessert menu, please?”

She smirks at him when he raises an eyebrow in question, before studying the small menu like she’d be tested on its contents. Emma ultimately orders strawberry shortcake before turning to him once again, “I always order dessert. I couldn’t have it for so many years when I was fighting and then with the morning sickness and then trying to get back to pre-baby weight… I just decided I shouldn’t have to live without dessert anymore… sure, I have to work a little harder at the gym each week, but it’s so worth it.” She’s interrupted by the waiter returning. He sets the red sugary cake in front of her and she turns to smile and give him her thanks before digging in.

Killian watches her in awe, entirely convinced there isn’t a single thing he doesn’t like about her.

She realizes he’s staring and chuckles before taking another bite, the blush rising on her high cheekbones. “Would you like some, Jones? You can’t really call it a cheat day if you order salad.”

He’s never had strawberry shortcake, but he’s positive he could never deny her anything, “Aye, Swan, just a bite.” He looks around for his fork, blushing himself when he realizes the waiter has already cleared it. She shrugs, unphased, and portions off a small bite for him. He grabs the fork from her, their fingers barely touching, but the electric currant shooting through his veins all the same. He has to withhold dirtier thoughts as he puts her fork in his mouth, now entirely aware of the tension building between the two of them. He swallows the slew of innuendos with the cake. Emma is looking at him expectantly, as though somehow his review of this entirely too sweet concoction will determine whether or not she likes it as well.

He smiles at the thought more than the dessert, but she seems satisfied. She takes her fork back and smiles. “What’s your favorite dessert?”

The question catches him off-guard. While seemingly trivial, it’s more personal than they’ve ventured thus far. (Besides the random truths Emma seems to drop out of nowhere.) He’s taken aback by her desire to know him , and has to hold down the one million questions he wishes to ask her. “I’ve never been much for dessert…” She gives him an entirely unamused look and he can’t help but laugh, “No, Swan, it’s true!”

“You have to have at least one guilty pleasure treat, Killian.”

He does. His mother’s chocolate cake. Did she just call him Killian? He takes a deep breath, knowing full well this could open up to deeper questions than favorite dessert. “Aye, love. I suppose I always loved my mother’s chocolate cake.”

She studies him, probably to make sure he’s answering truthfully, and then frowns, “Loved?”

He knew this was coming, and he wants her to know, but it doesn’t make it any easier. “Aye. My mother passed when I was 11.” He waits for pity or an “I'm so sorry” but it never comes. Instead she takes a deep breath of her own.

“That’s probably the real reason I love dessert so much. You never really get any when you’re a foster kid.”

She meets his eye and the air is taken from his lungs. She understands. It feels like a ton of bricks has been lifted off his chest, and she understands. All he can do is smile and nod, but he hopes she knows he understands too.

Emma smiles softly before declaring she’s “stuffed”. They call for the waiter and Emma insists she put it on the company card– “They’re only paying for one hotel room anyway.”

He chuckles, but nerves wash over him as her casual reminder of the situation which awaits them back at the hotel hits him like a high kick. Bloody hell.  

. . .

Killian Jones is really easy to talk to. So easy that it’s not until they’re walking back to the hotel that she even realizes she told him about her upbringing.

What the hell, Emma?

Her comfort level with Killian is something she’s hard pressed to ignore, but as they unlock the door to their room, she finds herself forced to confront it far sooner than she wanted to. She can’t help but track his every move as he leads her into the hotel room. He walks straight for the small sofa and she watches the muscles ripple through his arms as he lifts his duffle bag onto it. Sometimes she forgets he’s Killian “Hook” Jones the athlete and not just– well, just Killian. It’s times like this that she’s reminded how fit he is. When he realizes she hasn’t moved, Killian shoots a questioning look over his shoulder and Emma shakes herself out of it– whatever it is.

He scratches behind his ear and she can’t help but laugh, breaking the increasingly tense silence between them. “Uh… I’ll grab the couch, lov–Swan. I’m sure there’s extra blankets in here somewhere. Do you want to clean up first?”

Emma’s chest hurts when he shys away from calling her love, but can’t find it in herself to blame him– the word in this context threatening to hang between them like something more than a pet name. She nods in response and heads into the small bathroom. She immediately runs the cold water, splashing it over her face in an attempt to realign her senses. Emma stares at her reflection in the mirror and can’t help but notice she seems brighter, maybe even happier.

She ignores the twing in her gut telling her why.

Finishing up her nightly routine, she heads back into the main area to find Killian laying on the couch and scrolling through his phone. Emma holds back a giggle at the sight of the almost 6 foot man stretched across an equally long couch. He looks up when she flips on the lamp next to the bed and gives her a tight smile before heading into the bathroom himself. When she hears the shower turn on, she takes a deep breath, thankful for at least a small moment of alone time. She looks at the couch where he’s set up and can’t help but feel a bit guilty– the queen sized bed suddenly feeling way too big for one person.

Shit.

Emma makes up her mind as Killian unlocks the bathroom door and turns out the light. She works up the nerve to actually say something, but is only convinced when she sees him try and situate himself on the couch again. With a deep breath, she tries to hint at her decision casually, “That cannot possibly be comfortable.”

Killian jumps a bit at the sound of her voice and she snorts. The blush rises in his cheeks before he answers, “It’s quite alright, lass. I’ve slept on worse; at least I have a pillow.” He winks and she can’t stop her eyes from rolling dramatically. She knows he’d probably sleep on the floor if that was the only option, but she’s not evil .

“We’re both adults. I’m sure we can handle sharing a bed.” She doesn’t look him in the eye, finding a chip in the paint just above his right shoulder a safer place to land. Out of the corner of her eye she sees the smirk drop off his face.

“You don’t have to–”

She waves him off, finally making eye contact (fully aware he won’t move unless she does), “It’s fine, Jones. You can’t sleep on that couch, Robin will kill me if I fuck up your back.”

He laughs at the mention of his trainer and seems to relax a bit. “If you’re sure?”

She scoots to the left and pats the bed next to her, solidifying her decision. Killian smiles tightly before grabbing the pillow and blanket off the couch and sliding in next to her. Ever the gentleman, he continues to scroll through his phone.

Even still, Emma is positive he can hear her heart beating at least 180bmp.

She knows he’s following her lead, he’d probably sit up straight all night if that’s what she did. With a soft sigh, she lays down, grabbing her phone to set an alarm for the morning. “I’m gonna get up around 7. I hope that’s not too early?”

“Seven is perfect, love. I’m an early riser.” Killian looks at her when he says it – love– and she swears all the oxygen leaves her body. There’s probably nothing actually intimate about the way he’s staring at her, but the situation has Emma’s nerves firing on all cylinders.

“Oh. Great. I just usually take my morning run…” She trails off, realizing Killian doesn’t need an explanation, turning her head back to her phone as a much needed reprieve from the intensity of his eyes. She’s grateful when he breaks the silence.

“Aye, Swan. Me as well. Maybe…” He pauses and she looks up at him again. He shakes his head and turns back to what looks like a Twitter feed.

He’s nervous.

“Maybe you can join me! I’m not familiar with the area so it’d probably be safer… for both of us.” She���s not sure where it came from but her invitation is genuine. The nerves leave his face and are replaced with a boy-ish grin.

“I’d like that.” She takes in his smile and is pretty sure Michaelangelo couldn’t have chiseled someone so stunning.

Get a grip, Emma.

“Awesome. 7 it is then. Goodnight, Killian.” She doesn’t realize she called him Killian until she hears his breath hitch slightly. She rolls over, facing away from him before she does something absolutely stupid. The click of his phone locking signals his decision to sleep as well, and she feels him shift on his side of the bed. As his movement stops, Emma is able to fully relax, beginning to doze off much quicker than she expected. Right before she falls asleep completely, she swears she hears him speak in a soft whisper. “Goodnight, love.”

When she wakes up to his legs entangled in hers, she pretends to sleep as long as she can, taking in every moment of the early morning peace before she inevitably has to wake up. She manages to keep her breath even and eyes closed long enough for Killian to wake up and slowly work his way out of the bed. Even though the loss of his body heat feels like being shoved in a freezer, she stays still until she hears the click of the hotel room door. It’s then that she sits up, running her fingers through her hair and catches a brief whiff of his scent he left behind. She misses it the moment it dissipates.

Emma Swan, you are fucked.

. . .

The sun streaming through the window is the first clue that Killian isn’t in his flat– room darkening curtains being his only hope of sleeping past 5am– the second is the bright white pillow reflecting said sun beneath his head, and the third is the feeling of soft legs entangled in his own. It takes every ounce of muscle control he has not to move. As he takes in his current situation, he smells the sweet scent of vanilla which he can only trace to the mop of blonde curls which seem to have taken up residence on his chest. He subtly pinches himself in the side, positive this is just one of the many dreams he’s had of this nature.

He’s both parts relieved and terrified to realize he doesn’t need to wake up because he’s already wide awake.

He knows if Emma gets up now, any chance he has at waking up this way ever again, will run (probably literally) out the door. Reluctantly, he moves out from underneath her, feeling the loss of connection instantly and missing it just as suddenly. Grabbing his phone he checks the time. 6:30. He has another half hour before she wakes up, but he can’t risk losing her already… not when he hasn’t even had the chance to have her. He gets up from the bed and quietly leaves the room to grab them some coffee from the continental breakfast.

When he makes it back to the room, Emma is scrolling through her phone, fully dressed for their run. He checks his watch and finds it’s still before seven so she must have woken up on her own. He’s not sure what to say, but she looks up at him and he can’t help but apologize, “Good morning, Swan. I’m sorry if I woke you.”

“Morning. I– uh– woke up and you were gone.” She eyes the coffee cup in his hand, “Is that for me?”  He smiles at her and nods before reaching out to give her the correct cup. Her “coffee” is basically milk and sugar with a splash of coffee, and she would probably be unpleasantly surprised to taste his black brew. As she returns to her phone, sipping carefully on the hot beverage, Killian grabs his workout clothes from his duffle and heads into the bathroom to change.

Going on a run with Emma was probably not his best idea. For one thing, she's insanely athletic, always three or four paces in front of him, but mostly it's the way she looks. Her heavy breaths up and down as the sweat drips down her sharp face… not to mention the yoga pants.

He’s going to need a very cold shower after this.

They ultimately run about 8 miles before ending up back at the hotel doubled over and trying to catch their breath. “Not bad, Jones… you know, for an old man.” He’s entirely out of oxygen but can’t help but laugh as she smirks at him and cracks a joke.

He wants forever to be like this. Has he said bloody hell? Because bloody hell.

They walk back into the hotel, grabbing water bottles from the small convenient store, and heading up to their room. The entire time Killian feels like he’s walking on air. Emma is chatty and smiling and he’s stunned that he has played even a small part in that. She walks into the room before him, turning around to ask him if she can jump in the shower first and all he can do is smile and nod. In his time alone, he realizes he’s entirely too infatuated with someone who is completely off limits. Since he picked her up at her apartment yesterday, they’ve felt more like friends than coworkers and after last night, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want even more than that.

He can’t.

It’s not that he’s worried about his career– fuck the UFC for all he cares– but Emma has Henry to worry about and she’s worked hard to get to where she’s at; he can’t ruin that for her. He vows to himself that he won’t let whatever feelings he’s grown for her affect her life. He watches how she moves about that life, determined and courageous, and he falls a little harder every single day. He can’t do anything to ruin that. Seeing her soft smile when she finally exits the bathroom only solidifies his determination to do right by her; keep things on the side of business casual and make sure her career kickstarts. By all means Emma doesn’t need his help, but an extremely successful client couldn’t hurt. He silently adds a resolution to train, fight, and promote to the absolute best of his ability to his vow. He’ll win that belt and he’ll do it for her. He’ll do it all for her.

As if there’s another option.

[vagrantblvrd]

Jeremwood FAHC where battle buddies formed before they joined the crew? Everyone is terrified until they find the pair dead asleep on Gavin or Lindsay, or both, and they just look confused/pleased respectively, and shoo everyone away when they try and wake the pair up? And just, sheer shenanigans between all of them as they all settle into a the full force of the FAHC

Hmm, yes, yes, I see what you’re getting at with this, Anon?

But may I humbly suggest the reason these two Very Scary and Spooky figures choose Team Losers for their respective human pillows has to do with their Tragic Backstories?

For an example:

Before they became the Super Scary duo known throughout all Los Santos (and certain areas outside it, most of which have been reduced to rubble and charred remains because idiots) they were (baby) agents in An Agency somewhere?

Very hush, hush, totally no shady goings on here, no sir Mr. Government overwatch group!

Just patriotic assassinations and the whatnot.

Ryan is all clean-shaven and by the book. Perfect role model for the other baby agents who came after him.

Stellar record and all that, did everything Right.

And then the handler he’s had since graduating the academy retired. (Or is retired, something that plants the initial seed of unrest/suspicion in the back of Ryan’s mind about what he’s been doing all this time, but we’ll get to that later.

Anyway, he gets a shiny new handler in this guy all the way from England, kid with this accent who makes no damn sense and Ryan is >:( because he doesn’t trust him? (Gavin’s a goddamned kid, wet behind the ears and the most ridiculous questions and Ryan’s supposed to trust him to keep him alive?)

But then they get tossed into training exercises and simulations to get used to each other and as annoyed as Ryan is with the ceaseless chatter, Gavin’s always on point when it comes to getting Ryan through the exercise/simulation flawlessly. (Well, okay. There’s a miscommunication or two due to cultural differences but they sort it out before disaster befalls them.)

And at the end of things Ryan’s a little annoyed at the fact he can’t fault Gavin’s expertise at his job. Especially when he’s kind of glowering at Gavin after one of the “cultural differences” arguments and Gavin challenges Ryan to take over Gavin’s job while Gavin runs through the exercise/simulation.

All, “…what?” because his old handler wasn’t a field agent in any form of the word, amazing at her job, sure, but a klutz who only passed the annual certifications because Ryan and her previous agents kept on her about them to make sure she’d pass and all that.

And Gavin, okay. Goddamned twig and just look at him, no way he could pull off an assassination in a controlled setting like this, okay. Gavin just looks at him like he thinks Ryan’s chickening out, because of course he would, and Ryan will be goddmaned if he lets this twig of an asshole get away with that. (Or…something.)

Gavin chortles all the way down to the training room floor, grins up at the cameras he knows Ryan’s watching him through and tosses off a little salute before wading into the training exercise.

Entirely new one the two of them haven’t gone through yet because this is meant to be a test for both of them, right? Gavin going to their superiors and agents and whatevers involved in running these exercises for an official okay from them and all that. (He puts it forward as a bonding exercise, way to gain trust between partners which will up their efficiency rating and all that and of course their superiors are eager to jump at the chance to have the two of them reach active status all the sooner and the whatnot.)

So.

Ryan in Gavin’s little command center realizing he’s maybe made a misstep with this dare/bet? He’d been in the room once or twice before talking to his previous handler, but when Gavin came into the picture he’d had it upgraded. More cameras and gadgets and other bells and whistles Ryan isn’t sure what their function is?

And hes clumsier than he’d like about it, toggling between camera feeds to keep track of Gavin’s progress through the levels. Goddamned mansion the agency had built for this particular exercise and Gavin charming his way through with barely a ripple to mark his passing.

Hasn’t alerted anyone yet and Ryan is struggling to keep up with him and okay, yes, it’s definitely harder than it looks from the outside. (He’s always known it in the back of his head, but it’s different now, isn’t it?)

Things go…okay for a bit, but then their superior threw in a little plot twist towards the end, this Ultimate Test for the two of them they obviously didn’t anticipate and Ryan almost gets Gavin “killed”, sends him down a dead end corridor, guards closing in and they both know he fucked up, and Gavin looks right at the closest camera.

Should, by all rights, be furious with Ryan because he fucked up – but all he does is ask Ryan some simple little question, look up the blueprints on one on the computers and see if there’s a discrepancy with the layout of the area he’s in.

Contractors and clients and other bullshit he doesn’t have time to explain, because Plot Reasons. Mainly due to the fact Gavin got his hands on the real blueprints involved in building the course level they’re using for the exercise because he likes to be thorough like that. (Might be considered cheating, but he’s all about everything he can do to keep his agent alive, even in a supposedly safe environment like the agency training courses.)

Lo and behold there is, some botched bit with the ducts or something hastily covered up, Ryan’s hardly an expert despite all the time he’s spent crawling through various systems in his career to date.

Gavin grins as he backtracks and finds the botched bit of construction hastily covered over. Since the “building” the agency is using for this training exercise is an overblown set piece it’s just been wallpapered over or something else, and Gavin is easily able to get through it and escape that way, because Plot Reasons.

Ryan’s still a bit shaken at the close call and Gavin has to get him back on task of leading him out of the ducts he’s in, which he does. Watching silently as Gavin exits the training level with the McGuffin he was sent to steal and a dead target behind him.

He apologizes to Gavin for almost getting him killed, which Gavin laughs and dismisses because he knows it wasn’t intentional (right, Ryan?), but maybe now he understands Gavin’s up to the job of keeping Ryan alive if he’ll let him.

Their bosses side-eye them for basically Kobayashi Maru-ing their way out of the training exercise, but decide Gavin’s more of an asset than they anticipated and praise him for his thoroughness. (While making a mental note to keep an eye on him because he really shouldn’t have been able to get his hands on those blueprints, you know?)

Anyway, they work together for a year or two until Ryan gets picked for this new agency that’s come along in the meantime. Even shadier doings than his original agency and so sorry, but you’ll be given a new handler and a field partner and really, Agent Haywood, you’ll be doing your country a great service with this new agency.

There’s this whole Thing where they say their goodbyes and Gavin, who has a bad feeling about all of it, warns Ryan to watch hi back out there since Gavin won’t be there to do it for him. Ryan is all ??? and also ditto and a little if Gavin ever needs anything to contact him? Which Gavin promises to do with more vice versa, but honestly they know the odds of them ever meeting again are slim to none.

(And Ryan’s kind of right, when his old agency goes down in flames a half a year or so later. Sabotage and all that and so many dead with Gavin’s name of the list of casualties and okay, right, totally nothing suspect there. Ryan absolutely buys into that load of horseshit after the way he saw their agency being whittled down before Ryan was picked for his current agency, or course. Totally doesn’t have a little side-hobby of untangling that mess to get to the truth, goodness no.)

ANYWAY.

Ryan gets paired up with Jeremy who is obviously a rookie agent out of whatever agency handed him over to their current agency.

Young and inexperienced in the field but eager to learn and smart as hell. Lot of potential and best of all doesn’t take Ryan’s bullshit, which is awesome.

There’s an adjustment period for both of them because their new agency is a bit more lax with the rules and regulations, and Jeremy rubs off on Ryan a little over time and vice versa.

They get this handler who is calm and professional – for the most part.

The three of them don’t really click as a team for their first few missions, but the third or fourth one in things go to shit in the most chaotic, bizarre ways possible?

And their handler, who up to this point has been completely normal proposes a ridiculous plan to get them out of their predicament and the worst thing is it works? Ryan in a goddamned clown suit and Jeremy posing as a cowboy (???) and they get their target and escape without incident somehow?

Get to listen to their handler howling with laughter as they speed away in a speedboat and share this look because what the hell? And Lindsay – of fucking course it’s Lindsay – getting herself under control to coordinate their extraction and whatnot.

Things get better (worse???) after that because their missions tend to go to shit more often than not requiring the most ridiculous plans to succeed and they’re still considered their agency’s top operatives.

Life has never been so strange for any of them.

Ryan loosens up, decides he likes the look of the beard he grew for a mission and keeps it unless there’s another mission that requires he shave it. (And then he goes right back to growing it out, and also just kind of loses his mind in general because no one can stay sane with both Jeremy and Lindsay in the mix, okay, no one.)

Lindsay starts joking around with them when they’re in the field and Jeremy is just. So flabbergasted at half the things she says and it’s all gloriously wonderful shenanigans and chaos and all that for a good long while for the three of them.

Lindsay watches these two idiots she’s responsible doing the Mutual Pining Thing and laughing at them because it’s pretty damn obvious they’re head over heals for one another?

All these little gestures between them in and out of the field, but then it just gets sad, you know?

Close calls thanks to the nature of their line of work, Jeremy sitting beside Ryan’s bed down in medical after a bad mission and vice versa. Longing Looks and Quiet Pining and Lindsay is their confidant and does her best to drops hints without betraying either of their trust in her.

Setting up situations where they have lunch or dinner together. The three of them out to have a dinner to celebrate some team milepost or whatever but she gets called away at the last minute for some minor  problem but no, really, you two enjoy yourselves they can do this again at a later date. (Heavy emphasis on the word date, but they’re too dense to pick up on it.)

And then! Just when she thinks they realize there’s a Mutual Pining Situation going on and might be about to do something about it?

Bad shit happens, because of course it does.

Someone contacts Lindsay, tells her trouble’s headed their way and to look out for her boys because they’re going to be at the heart of it, and Lindsay.

Oh, she knows exactly who sent her that message, the ones that follow because Gavin’s clever, right, but she’s just as good at her job as he is. (There’s this whole Thing where they met years ago, thanks to friendly inter-agency rivalries and Gavin worrying about idiot Ryan and just. Yeah.)

It’s thanks to him the three of them are prepared for the suicide mission meant to get rid of the Battle Buddies (the usual Conspiracy Plot Reasons) that allows them to fake their deaths. Handy little tip telling them a good place to hide out is Los Santos, and hey, take the scenic route just in case, which they do.

Meanwhile, Lindsay has all these files and the whatnot on what their agency have been up to that end up in the right hands, some reputable reporter or whoever and goes to lunch one day and forgets to go back afterwards.

Doesn’t go so far to fake her death, just disappears as far as the rest of the world is concerned while the agency more or less burns to the ground behind her.

She ends up in Los Santos too, gets a nice little apartment somewhere and gets a reputation for being a crazy cat lady with all the strays she looks after, fosters, handing them over to good homes and the like.

Hears rumors going around about this pair of mercs new on the scene a year or two later. Big scary bastard going around wearing a skull mask and his partner with the cowboy ensemble and laughs herself sick when she sees her boys on the news one night, because they haven’t changed a goddamned bit.

Wonders if they ever figured their shit out and makes plans to contact them to ask how they’ve been doing, but she gets a job offer before she can.

Some crew or other with a reputation of their own and this skinny prick of a Brit with the most obnoxious grin and gaudy sunglasses and the Fakes would be interested in someone with your particular skills, and is she interested?

Lindsay just looks at Gavin in his ridiculous get up and decides the hell with it, you know? She’s been on vacation long enough and if someone like him trusts these assholes she’s fine with it.

They hand her control of B-Team and she kind of loves it. The crew is her kind of chaotic and she gets why Gavin chose them out of all the crews in Los Santos.

No brainer when Geoff’s looking to expand the crew and there are these two idiots running around causing chaos without anyone to watch their backs but themselves. (Well, okay. And Gavin and Lindsay from the shadows, but they’re stretching themselves thin watching out for the Fakes and the Battle Buddies and it just makes sense to have them all under the same roof, so to speak.)

And then!

Ryan and Jeremy being ??? and !!! at seeing Gavin and Lindsay – initially suspicious because what are the odds?

Jeremy watching Ryan circling Gavin because it’s been years and he really wants to think he can trust the little shit, but so much has happened he’s not sure he can?(All this time he’s been trying to find out what happened to him only to see Gavin cozied up to the biggest crew in Los Santos???)

But then he realizes Lindsay trusts Gavin implicitly, that Gavin’s the reason the three of them made it out of the agency alive at all, and Gavin’s just giving him this little smile waiting for Ryan to make up his mind the way he did when they met all those years ago.

Various shenanigans as he realizes Gavin’s safe, the Fakes are safe, and Jeremy relaxes because he trusts Ryan’s judgment in this?

The two of them realize the others have no idea the four of them know each other from Before and get a kick out of fucking with them whenever they can, hence the human pillow Thing.

Big scary mercs napping like little kittens on them and everyone else being !!! because what do now??? while Gavin and Lindsay are like, no! They need their sleep, hush up or go away because you have no idea about these idiots and their sleeping habits! >:((((((((((

The slow realization the rest of the crew have that allowing the four of them to Shenanigate was a Terrible Idea as they rain chaos on Los Santos (and occasionally the crew itself).

Also?

Just shenanigans in general with Ryan being a creepy bastard and Jeremy being Jeremy and everyone worrying Gavin and Lindsay are going to be horribly murderized like the idiots they are because they just keep teasing and making fun of Ryan and Jeremy. Like. Mercilessly so the way they do the rest of the crew?

At least until something happens with someone from their old agencies out for Revenge and Gavin and Lindsay get grabbed and the crew going crazy trying to find them?

And then there’s the Battle Buddies all terrifyingly professional about ripping these bastards apart for touching their family – and their Tragic Backstories are revealed in which the crew had no idea about the (former) sekrit agents in their midst this whole time.

Also, also, the bastards who grabbed Gavin and Lindsay are suffering before the rescue party gets to their little hideout because Team Losers is a force to reckoned with on their own, you know?

Supposedly where the baddies want them, but the baddies miscalculated because they’re locked in there with Team Losers and oh God, make it stop, make it stop.

Absolutely no one on the crew’s side of things being surprised by this turn of events and it’s kind of a mercy killing for the baddies once they realize what’s going on.

Gavin and Lindsay just :DDDDDDDDDD “What took you guys so long?” even though they’re a bit bloodied up and kind of hurty feeling and everyone is just fucking Christ, you idiots.

And then shenanigans???

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

⚔️⚔️🏰🐲😭 DMODT last chapter. Full draft... unless I've forgotten something? 85

*** Epilogue *** It'd been a little over a year and half since Eren had last stepped foot in Mitras. The day they'd finally left the castle, both Armin and Mikasa had pleaded with him to stay, but he couldn't. It was time to leave, to start a real life with Levi outside the city and despite all the tears, he was excited. Excited for a future for his family where they'd no longer be expected to be anyone but themselves. It hadn't been easy to reestablish themselves, but the plot of land they wanted had been transferred into their family name, Armin making sure no matter what came that the their line would always own the plot a few hundred metres down from where construction of the orphanage began the following summer. Their own adventures with building were a fiasco. Having the space of the tower had been nice, but now he had children to think of, and with the clutch on the way, Eren only wanted enough space for their small family. His own little cottage, where he'd be playing housekeeper and wife. Levi felt it should be bigger for when guests came, which resulted in a compromise. Levi's study was built to back the nursery, with space for a spare bed should guests come. Using his magic to raise the walls from the ground, he'd felt like he was cheating, simply turning up to the middle of nowhere and magicking their house into existence. The walls he could do. The plumbing... not so much, and his skills with roof making... were nonexistent. Well, they existed, they were just slightly crooked... Levi laughing far too hard at his attempts, though after promised he'd take care of it, it was nearly a month of leaking ceilings before he did, and that was because his pride wouldn't accept help from the team of builders Armin had hired for the orphanage. They'd had a great laugh too. Much to Eren's embarrassment. It wasn't like he knew the building crew would be coming out to survey the orphanage site before they'd fixed things up. Yet, despite all that, Eren was having the time of his life. Luca loved the space, happy to run around and annoy anything that moved. They'd brought chicken with them when they'd left the city, only Luca didn't know they weren't for playing. More than a few sent to early deaths by the dragon trying to befriend them. Not making the same mistake twice, Levi built a barn to right of the house, space outside the structure for their horses, which gradually grew to house their cow, and then the replacement chickens Farlan and Isabel brought out with them on their first visit. Up from the barn Levi built a greenhouse for his herb collection, which Eren left to the professionals when it came to the glass fit out of the space. Gradually, over the next six months their home came together. Levi's vegetable patch requiring a small infusion of magic secretly more than once. His husband tried his hardest, but... Eren didn't know he kept killing everything. You sew the seeds. You water everything in. You weed and watch it grow. Somehow things went from being green one day, to yellow and brown withered sticks of sadness the next. After the third failed crop, the omega couldn't let his alpha continue to suffer. Denying all knowledge of magical intervention, yet they both knew it was there, but neither of them spoke of it. Especially when comparing Levi's vegetable patch with Eren's small orchard. They'd purchased a variety of fruits and vegetables when leaving Mitras in an attempt to stock up, which didn't happen with Luca around, so Eren had sewn the remnants and now was the proud owner of some very impressive apple trees that were starting to encroach on the left side of their cottage. Luca especially appreciated being able to steal apples when he felt, though most of his time was still spent chasing after Viren. The pair of them... he loved them... but they were as thick as thieves. If they could be in out, out of it, covered in it, or hiding it, they were. Viren's first steps had been at the castle, their pup then deciding to make them wait a week before trying again... and after that... he never stopped moving. Each time Eren took his eyes off him, he was off. More than once Luca had to hook him by his nappy to prevent his escape, and more than once he'd turned around for what seemed half a second only to turn back to find Luca covered in Viren's food... mostly thrown at him. Each day his son looked more like Levi, right down to the look of annoyance they'd both share when scolded over spilling water from the bath. Their house might not be the nicest, but Eren was extremely proud of it... once things had been straightened out. He loved to watch Levi and Viren in the garden, his husband would sit their son in his lap to pull weeds, or when he Levi would put Viren on the back of their cow. He honestly didn't know who looked more confused, but each time Viren would giggle and scream for his "daddy". Most of the time the pair were together outside, Luca would inside with him. Being too pregnant to pick him, Luca had had to conquer climbing up on the kitchen bench on his own. A space definitely not made for their son, but mercifully his growth had slowed down so he could only just wedge himself there, ready for pats, kisses, rubs and most importantly left over food. Levi was just as bad when he was cooking. As his pregnancy had progressed, his husband treated him like a princess while fucking him like a whore. Every single chore below waist level was taken care of by his alpha, and every single surface in their house had been christened at least once... Armin claiming he was traumatised for life from over hearing them when he and Mikasa came to visit for Eren's birthday. The joke was on him, they'd fallen into bed on the spare bed Armin was using earlier the same day... then we're forced to strip the whole bed with how carried away they'd been. Now... now he was regretting that sex ever existed. Levi had gone on the fortnightly run to the city for supplies, and almost the moment his mate had left, his waters had broken. Entertaining a toddler while cursing contractions and attempting to control his magic, was not making for a fun morning at all. With Viren on his hip, Eren was making breakfast when the telltale sudden short gushing feel had come, then the telltale trickle as the warmth spread down his inner thighs. Levi hadn't wanted to leave, teasing him over how sweet he'd smelt that morning as they lazed in bed basking in each other's warmth. Assuring him he'd be fine, he'd waved his husband off. Swearing without thinking, his son had promptly echoed his cry of "fuck", in his cute little voice... all of which had brought him to still standing in the kitchen attempting to make Viren's breakfast while Luca clawed at the kitchen door, probably trying to attempt to free himself so he could go find Levi and not have to deal with him in labour alone. With tears rolling down his face, rising panic and a contractions that he was sure he was never going to get used to, all he wanted to do was curl up in their nest and cry until Levi came home. * Reaching the end of the road to their property, Levi didn't feel right. Eren had assured him that he was alright, that nothing would happen while he was in town, and that nothing would happen for a few more weeks. Yet, the feeling in his gut was telling him otherwise. Faced with either riding home to find Eren perfectly fine and laughing in his face, or heading to town only to come home to some kind of emergency, he knew which he'd take. Unhitching the wagon from his horse, it was a choice that took no thought at all. The past year and a half hadn't all been sun and roses, in the early days he wasn't sure how they didn't kill each other, then there were Eren's nightmares, his nightmares, a leaking roof and lack plumbing... some days it was a damn miracle they'd even got their house together in the end. Mounting his horse, the filly shifted skittishly, barely used for much more than a cart horse. Nudging his heels into her sides, she reared, nearly throwing him in the process. God. He missed his old horse. Holding his reins tighter, her urged her into a gallop, kicking up dust recklessly as he raced to return home. Leaving his horse next to the front door, Levi didn't bother taking off his muddied boots as he jogged into their house, Eren would probably yell at him, but that was a discussion for another time. The moment he'd entered their yard he could feel his omega's pain. His gut feeling proving right again. Almost breaking the kitchen door down, he bellowed "Eren!" Only to realise Eren was still in the kitchen, Viren on his hip as he leaned heavily against the kitchen counter, Luca chirping and trilling as he nudged at Levi's legs "Levi... it's... it's started... I'm sorry..." What. Wait... oh... oh fuck... rushing to his side, he lifted Viren off Eren's hip "Ok. It's a bit early, but it's ok. What do you need?" Eren let out a long breath "I need to shower. Viren and Luca need breakfast..." "Ok... sh... sugar. Ok" Piping up, Viren smacked him with his hand "Fck" Blinking at his boy, he then shot Eren an accusing look "I didn't mean to. My waters broke and it slipped out... you'd be swearing too if you looked like someone had stuffed you with melons" By a year, Eren had looked like he was well and truly stuffed, by 13 months he was a horny mess with constant back pain. 15 months he looked like he couldn't get any damn bigger without physically bursting, it'd eased a little but he was well and truly bred to the brim "Let me get the boys settled. I don't want you getting in and out the bath on your own" "Mmm... mmm... ok... why is it that the contractions are always worse than the pushing part?" The pushing part was the part that had him worried. The contractions didn't cause Eren to shit blood or spend weeks torn and hurting... "Levi, don't you dare go pale like that. This is happening. It's going to take a few hours, but this is happening" "Sorry. You're right. Whatever you need" Giving him a pained smile, Eren pushed himself up to stand, his hands going to his hips as he whined softly in discomfort "Shower, and you'll need to write to Historia. She's supposed to be coming next week to stay, but fuck being in labour for that long" "Then... nest?" There nest had gone up nearly a month and a half ago, Eren blushing adorably when Levi had sprung him layering his clothes into their sheets and furs "Barn... need to organise the barn..." Out of concern for their house, they'd made space in the outer half of the barn where the hay usually lived. There was no way Eren could give birth anally with the size of the eggs he was carrying "Ok. Breakfast for the boys, shower and barn" "What did you do with the horse and cart?" "Well..." "I married an idiot. You feed the kids, I'm going to shower" "You're not getting in alone" "There's a chair. I'll be fine" "Eren..." Raising his scolding finger at him, Levi swallowed down a smile "Don't give that. I was freaking out until you walked through that door. You're here now... don't... don't make me think I have to go through this alone" Reaching out, Levi wrapped an arm around his omega "You're not alone. You're not. I could feel something was wrong. I couldn't go to town because I was so worried for you... I'm here now... you're not alone" Eren smelt intoxicating, Levi forced to pull away "You're ok, Sweet Boy. You're ok. I've got the boys, you shower and I'll be right in" Luca wouldn't settle, for the first time that Levi could remember the little dragon didn't want his food. He was still trying to nudge and rub against Levi's legs, pushing him towards the bathroom door, only for a crashing noise to come from the direction of the bathroom. Yelling at Luca to look after Viren, Levi ran straight into the kitchen door in his hurry to reach Eren, grazing himself impressively on the the wall as then tried to get through the door before it was open enough. Striding through to the bathroom, he found the shower rack had broken, causing the commotion. Eren was sitting in the shower chair he'd insisted on leaving in there given how helpful it'd been last time, trying to pick things up with his toes "What are you doing?" "I tried a little magic... and the rack fell down" "You scared the shit out of me. I thought I was rushing in here to find you on the floor" "I'm fine. My magic's just... off" "That's it. Shower time is over" His instincts couldn't take it "I only just got in!" "I can't... you can bath... but I can't..." Eren's face softened, Levi realising he was tearing up. Fuck. He'd forgotten to write to Historia and now his alpha was getting the better of him, not wanting anyone close to Eren at all "I'm ok. But if you want to me bath, you kind of need to help me?" "Sorry. I..." "Levi, it's ok. We talked about this. I'm going to be ok... it's going to be ok. Here, come here. Luca can watch Viren" It wasn't ok. Viren's birth had been hard... he'd truly thought Eren was going to die. Catching him watching him one night, Eren had drawn his fears out, holding him as he snivelled pathetically in fear of losing his husband "I'm sorry" "It's ok. Birth is scary. I'm scared too... but we have a few hours. My contractions aren't that close yet. Now, come bath in my juices with me" "That sounds revolting" "You're lucky. I'm sure my mucus plug..." The colour drained further from Levi's face "I don't think I want to know" "Probably not..." It wasn't his fault they ended up going for it like rabbits in the bathroom. One minute he was crying and Eren was crying, then Eren was in his lap and crying for a different reason. The only small mercy was that he didn't knot his mate, instead he slipped out at the last moment and had to deal with his omega pouting at him over it, despite the fact he'd come twice as it was. Nuzzling into him, Eren sighed softly against his cheek "I need to shift soon. I won't be able to talk to you" "So soon?" "Mmm. My magic's already playing up" "I'm not ready for this. I don't know how to... what to..." "Levi, you're going to be great. We've talked about this, and it's going to be easier as a dragon. Remember? I told you I'll write if something's wrong" A sketch with a claws not writing. What if Eren couldn't change back...? "I don't think I can do this alone. I know you said to write to Historia, but... my alpha... I'm failure as mate" "You're not a failure. We know how screwed up instincts can be. I trust you. You're my husband and I trust you. Can you bring the boys out to sit for a while? After I've shifted? Luca can handle Viren, but I need to know they're both ok" "I..." He didn't know what to say. It was absolutely horrible. He adored his boys, but Eren was all he could think of "You can do this. You did this last time" "And you bled. You bled and you hurt for weeks..." "But I recovered. And look at Viren. Our baby. Every single day I thank the gods for him. I thank you for him. You're letting your fear do a me" "You're saying I'm spiralling?" "You are. It's time to get out. Can you bring the furs from our nest? I want your scent" "My scared scent?" "Your scent is still yours. You're going to get through this" "I'm supposed to say that to you" "We'll get through this, Levi. Just you wait until you see how many eggs you've knocked into me" Apparently there was a chance of unfertilised eggs having not been absorbed completely and may be birthed. Not that he was going to be able to the tell the difference. The nursery had been set up with a crib loaded with furs to settle their clutch into... but would one crib be enough? His mate wasn't... he hadn't seen his toes or his junk in the last 9 months... "You're spiralling. Here, I'm done soaking. Help me up" Luca disappeared the moment Levi opened the kitchen door to retrieve everything Eren had asked for. His breakfast still untouched, while Viren had enjoyed himself by the look of it, his mashed apple smeared across the boy's face, hands, arms... the floor. The cupboard... Luca had obviously helped their toddler with the mess, before abandoning him to take all the blame, and leaving Levi to clean it all up. If Eren saw the mess, he'd probably break down into tears then try to clean it all up instead of fussing over where he wanted to give birth. The stables hadn't been Levi's first choice. He'd wanted Eren in a soft bed, warm and safe... then his omega pointed out that he needed to be in his dragon form, and that he'd lost control of his magic last time and that he liked their small cottage in one piece, and he'd folded like a deck of cards as he agreed to everything Eren wanted. Anything to get him through this alive and safe... even if it cost them the clutch in the process. Making it outside, Eren was sitting on a bail of hay, Luca standing next with him. Viren running to his brother, rather than his mother as he realised his best friend was right in front of him "Sorry. Daddy gave him mashed apple when he should have given him anything else" "It's fine. It gave Luca and I a chance to talk. He's scared, but he doesn't want to leave me. He's such a sweet boy" "He is. Now, I have all the blankets you want. Where should I place them?" "I was thinking of laying down with my head on the hay. I'll be on my side, so it'll be better to have them near my nose" "And you're going to shift soon?" Eren nodded "Yeah. It might help with the contractions too. I didn't miss them" "I... are you sure? So soon?" "Levi, I'll be ok. Luca won't leave my side, he's made that clear. When the... birth actually starts, he's going to play his part by watching Viren" It was his job to be by Eren's side. Luca was his damn son, not their baby sitter. He shouldn't have to be strong for his baby brother and his father who was having a miniature breakdown over Eren being so pained and in such a vulnerable position. Headbutting Eren lightly, Luca started licking at his cheek as Eren wrapped his arms around him "Ok. Yes. You're staying with me. Mummy isn't making you go away baby boy, and at the end of this, you're going to have more siblings to play with. You and Viren. You're my big baby boy, and I'm so proud to be your mother" Crying as Luca turned his attention away from him, Levi placed the bundle of furs down beside Eren so he could scoop their toddler up "Are you sure you're going to be able to communicate if something does go wrong?" "Yeah. Luca will know too. Come give me a kiss before I shift" Leaning down, Levi tried not to be jealous of Luca being in the way. Kissing his husband, he rested his face against Eren's "I'm not ready" "I can't exactly say no and try again later with this" "That's not what I mean. I want to talk to you. Hold your hand and rub your back. Know how bad it hurts and be with you" "I'm still me" That wasn't what he meant. Eren didn't sound happy with him, probably because he'd accidentally insinuated that dragons were too beastly to communicate "Message received. If you want to shift, go ahead. We'll be right here with you" "I know. Historia did say I should shift back pretty soon after I birth the last egg. I love you so much... and if it gets too much, or if my magic... if my magic is too much... take the boys and go" Tears rolled down Eren's cheeks. Levi feeling guilty for making his mate feel crappier when this was a real issue "I'm not going anywhere. Your magic won't hurt us" "I could bring the roof down on you" "And a freak storm could too" "Which would probably be my magic. I'm going to shift... before I end up crying even harder" "You're going to be ok" "Yeah... and we're going to have another pup or two..." "That are going to look just like you. With those pretty scales of yours" "No... I want them to look just like you. I love you" "I love you too. And I'm going to love them... whatever they look like" "You're making me cry" Like Levi wasn't also an emotional wreck "I'm sorry, Sweet Boy. You shift and get comfortable. I'm not going anywhere" * Eren's labour continued into the night. His husband panting as his contractions grew worse. Luca refused to leave his side, even for bed time. Their son insisted on laying with his nose against Eren's, licking, chirping softly, and nuzzling each time Eren would huff if pain, while Levi had a large clawed foot resting on his leg. He couldn't hold Eren's hand, so it was the closest he could be and the best he could do as he tried to keep Viren preoccupied. Forced to leave to given Viren his dinner and settle him in bed, he couldn't give two fucks about the mess he'd left out by his husband. Viren's lunch, three nappies, his lunch that he was forced to make after Eren glared at him when he returned without food. He'd also glared at him when Levi's horse had come wandering over, reminding them both that the alpha hadn't closed the gate, or moved the animals to the other end of the barn. Still. He didn't like leaving. He'd nearly missed being there as it was, sure he would have returned around sunset, yet Eren had been terrified over everything and he'd only been gone a good half hour to an hour tops that morning. He wouldn't have been able to even hold his husband before he shifted, nor sooth his worries, though Eren did most of the soothing. As the night progressed, the temperature dropped. Eren nuzzling at Luca until Luca finally headed into the house, the look on his face clear that he'd be back out the moment the sun rose. Finally alone with his omega, Eren whined softly, calling him closer. Moving to stand between his husband's front leg and saddle, Eren shifted again, trying to rub against him in his own dopey way "How do you feel? Can I get you anything?" His mate had barely drunk any of the water he'd brought from the well for him. Shaking his head, he shifted shakily onto his stomach "Hey, are you close? You need to be resting" Whining, Eren rolled back, nudging at him with his leg "You want me to check?" Huffing like he was relieved Levi finally got the message, he placed his hand on Eren's side as moved towards his slit. He hadn't thought about adding to the glowstones on the outer side of the barn, and regretted that Eren had to give birth in the dark with all the light and warmth of the house illuminated mere metres away. The first thing he noticed was Eren's dick. He'd forgotten how massive it was in his dragon form, and because his husband hadn't exactly had it hanging out with the kids around "You're horny? Is that it?" Huffing and rolling again, that was definitely it. He shouldn't be as surprised as he was. Eren had been a horny mess during the first clutch. Sliding his hand down, he skipped his mate's neglected dick, instead running his hand along Eren's opening. With his hand so close and intimate, he could feel the almost back to back ripple of his lover's strong muscles "You're close... it won't be long now" Thumping his tail, Eren didn't want to hear it "I feel like you're trying to tell me that if I don't make you cum, you're going to use your breath on me" When Eren didn't reply, Levi laughed softly "I told you'd I'd give you whatever you want and need" Lapping and sucking at the soft flesh of his mate's clit, Eren's tail was thudding as he huffed and groaned, wriggling against Levi's mouth as the alpha thoroughly pleasured him, he knew by the weak way Eren tried to trust he was close, his rhythm shot completely and his pace exhausted yer desperate. With the kids taking up so much of their time, and settling in, making their home a home and organising the farm, then the random visits from Isabel and Farlan and few from Mikasa and Armin, and, Ymir, Historia and their girls, the only them time they really got when was the kids were sleeping or busy, and there wasn't space enough in their room for Eren to shift. He wasn't sure he knew what he was doing, but Eren was enjoying it, and his mate tasted amazing... so it was kind of a win. Sucking harder, Eren threw his head back hard enough to shake the barn, his dick spasming as cum gushed to join the wet puddle beneath the spent organ. Pulling back with a smirk, he tried not to laugh at his mate. His own arousal a smouldering mess he wasn't sure what to do with "Good?" Thudding his tail weakly, Levi's ego was stroked by the affirmation. Mindful of the puddle, he moved back to Eren's soaked opening, slipping his hand in deeper this time to essentially "finger" his dragon, he could feel their eggs, so close to being birthed but again there was nothing he could do but wait, hoping that massaging the muscle wasn't actually making it feel even worse for his exhausted love. It was about 2 hours later that Eren finally birthed their first egg, a long and pained whine as the emerald egg slowly slid from him. Levi wincing at the size of the thing, easily as big as Luca's egg had been at time of his hatching and enough to make him nearly regret impregnating Eren by accident. Setting the egg down carefully, the second that slid out in the connecting... grossness?... he didn't know what to really call the bloody mucus, was smaller and plain green. Exactly the same as Eren's lifeless clutch. His heart dropped as the third egg was the same. Eren panting softly, despite the pain Levi could feel through their bond. His mate was trying his hardest to be strong, though his lungs must be giving him grief with the cold air, uncharacteristic of a spring night. The rest of the eggs came much more slowly than the four. The 6th another brilliant green egg, freckled with speckles of grey across the surface, yet the rest remained an empty clutch until they reached the last, the 9th egg a smaller egg than the previous two, Levi nearly placing it aside with those that were lifeless until he noticed that it shimmered grey under the light. Passing the birth, it took his husband half an hour before he took his human form again. Wrecked and dripping with sweat, Eren was barely conscious as Levi gathered him into a thick blanket, his mate trying to reach for their eggs as nasty coughs began to bubble. Nuzzling Eren's hair, he was forced to make the call. Eren needed warmth now, and to rest somewhere that wasn't a dirty and disgusting barn "You did so good. Three good eggs baby. Three. I'm so proud of you. So proud" Carrying his mate into the living room, he laid him down carefully in front of the fire place, Eren crying out weakly as Levi moved away from him "I'm going to get out clutch. Our beautiful clutch, and I'll be right back. You want to see our clutch, don't you?" Nodding wearily, Eren's eyes were sliding closed as he did "I'll be right back, beautiful boy. I'm so fucking proud of our family" He was crying. He couldn't help it. Three perfect eggs. Eren had given him three more children. He couldn't be happier or prouder. Returning with their eggs, Levi placed them down beside Eren, rousing him by cupping his husband's face. Exhausted green eyes blinking up at him questioningly "I've got our clutch, Sweet Boy. I thought you'd want to see them" Needing assistance, Eren's eyes filled with the same love and wonder he'd have for both Viren and Luca "I am so proud of you. You rest my love. I'll clean everything up" Like Eren's blooded thighs and arse. He prayed some of Eren's magic had healed things down there, but as he moved his mate to make preparations, he found him torn and bloodied. Not quite as badly as Viren, but enough to make his heart ache. This time they'd wait. Eren would go back onto contraceptives, and they'd wait for the time they were ready for another child, if they were ever really ready. They'd never planned for five children. Five small mouths to feed and five tiny personalities they'd be responsible for the rest of their lives. Though Eren was happy now, there was no way to tell if he'd feel that way with nightly feeds, nappies and long nights ahead of them. He could only pray this didn't break his husband or send him spiralling into a drop or melancholy episode that he couldn't recover from. He could only pray that he wouldn't lose his memory further, and wind up another "child" to his husband. He was so fucking proud of Eren. So proud the omega was his forever. And so beyond proud and relieved that only three eggs had been viable. Despite the exhaustion he felt, his primary concern was still Eren. Cleaning Eren carefully and applying ointment to the wounds, Levi moved him from in front of the fire to their bed. A fresh kettle of boiling water positioned so the steam rose into Eren's face to ease his breathing and coughing. Outside the sounds of a storm had begun to rage, the day the perfect kind for spending in bed, even if that hadn't been his intention all along. With their clutch wiped down and placed carefully into folded blankets it sat with the other eggs Eren had birthed, across from the omega so they'd be the first thing he saw once he woke. The bleeding between Eren's legs had eased, yet each cough seemed to expel a little more, so he'd left the towel there, knowing Eren would be embarrassed once he woke. Settling down beside his husband, Levi couldn't take his eyes off of him. So in love he wasn't sure love described his feeling anymore. They'd been through far too much to make it here, yet there was no place he'd rather be for the rest of his life. He didn't miss the castle like he probably should. He didn't miss the people like he probably should. He didn't miss the riches like he probably should. This was all thanks to Eren. As long as he had his husband by his side, he could do absolutely anything. * Propped up in bed, Eren was tender. He was sore in all the wrong places, and he was exhausted beyond words, yet he was happy. Beside him Levi had fallen asleep holding his hand, his head resting on the omega's shoulder exactly how he'd been when he'd been talking softly with him over their clutch. Three eggs. Two painfully large and a smaller third that had him worried for their child, but all of which intact and that was the main thing. He'd unexpectedly birthed 6 more eggs, which was upsetting to see given they could have been potential lives, yet relieving as hell given three eggs was equal parts ecstasy and stomach dropping fear. Curled around their clutch was Luca, who looked as proud as Levi and Eren both felt. Viren didn't understand that mummy was tender, so his son was sitting in his lap, nearly reducing him to tears but he couldn't let him go. This was his family. His crazy hectic family that had just grown by three more. Kissing Viren's hair, his pup was nearly asleep too. When Viren has started crying Luca had led him into their room. Levi climbing out of bed to clean their son up after he'd wet the bed, then feed him before returning him all smiles and giggles, both of them handing Eren a glass of water which he downed gratefully. Listening to the rain against the roof, he hoped the small and quiet moment wouldn't end. This is what his mind needed far more than walls of the castle. A solid floor with no dungeons or cells beneath. A roof over his head and ridiculous over the top love and pride for his family. Levi was apologetic when he woke, quick to lift Viren off his aching stomach as he scolding him for not waking him earlier. His poor husband had had to suffer through helping him birth their clutch, he deserved some kind of medal for his patience. Or at least a long holiday away. Preferably one where someone would wait on Levi like Levi was him. He felt bad knowing he'd be even more useless until his body healed and his magic returned, yet Levi was acting like all his demands were completely natural. Like he hadn't turned into some kind of hormonal monster obsessed with his dick more than his feelings for the last month or so. He didn't deserve such a wonderful husband. Despite Levi warning him not to push himself, Eren was never great at bedrest. Insisting that he needed to get up, he stubbornly refused to admit the idea was terrible as he shuffled through the house to the toilet, regretting every life choice once he'd sat. He regretted it even more when it came to cleaning up then shuffling back through the house to the kitchen where Levi was preparing what had to be dinner by now. Refusing to let him help, Eren retrieved the note pad and pencil he kept for jotting down things they needed from town to pen his letters to Historia, and Armin and Mikasa. All three of them were going to be mad at him for going into labour early. Historia was excited to be there for him. Freya just as excited for him, writing shortly after they'd moved out of the city. She'd been amazing when he'd been forced to set foot in Marley again, then stay for the month in the manor he loathed so much in order to sort things with Asana and Onyankopon. Both wonderful people, but not quite sure how to handle him when each room held nothing but pain for him. Handing the throne over had been cathartic. To be finally free of its shackles completely had taken weeks to set in. Yet the thing that had truly healed his heart on the past was when Levi took him to visit Zeke's grave. His husband simply announcing one morning that he needed to borrow Eren for the day, then handed him a bouquet of red flowers that he "needed for when they reached their destination". Everyone had been so careful when it came to mentioning Zeke around him that he hadn't thought they'd approve of him visiting his grave, so for Levi to go that far for him, to let him sit and pour his guilty out to the man he'd been so briefly married to... he didn't think any other alpha in the world could do it. Keeping a distance so that Eren might have some privacy, Levi had told him he was proud of him once he was done, and to know that Dina hadn't disposed of Zeke like was garbage... he'd needed all of it. When he thought of the past, all he could think of was that it seemed like a dream now. He'd wanted so desperately to learn magic. He'd forcibly educated himself into a neat book induced coma so he wouldn't simply be a housewife. So he'd be an amazing mage that changed the future. He'd never thought he'd be here, being a housewife and being as ok with it all he was. He loved their little farm. He loved being simple and normal. He loved that no one stared at him or judged him, and he felt proud keeping their house organised. He wasn't living up to Erwin's wishes of him being Armin's advisor, but it wasn't like he wasn't Armin's go to man with most things. A letter between the castle and their farm only took an hour or so to arrive. Armin frequently writing back and forth a dozen times a day, sending eagle after eagle when Eren would take too long to reply. His friend having established the orphanage was well on its way had turned his eyes to Shinganshima. The place of so many painful memories for the three of them was to be rebuilt. Mikasa had led a small army to clean the city of those less than desirables, most driven to crime with the unstable economics, and most sent to work prisons on the west side of the island where the goal was rehabilitation and training. The not so hopeful side being that there were those past such methods. Armin had been forced to see his first hanging, something that had distressed them both greatly and ended up with Armin coming for a weeklong visit to get his legs back under him. Being the idealistic and loving fool he was, the block where their family homes had sat were to be turned into memorial parks. They could never take back those memories, but it felt right to remember the good times and to provide other people with similar happy memories there. Once the official opening came, they'd all be attending, but that was sometime away. The only thing Eren regretted was that he'd never known what happened to Grandpa Arlet's, his mother's or his father's bodies, and wasn't able to lay the three most important parental figures of his childhood to rest. Sighing to himself, they were all thoughts for another day and his instincts were demanding he return to his clutch, despite wanting to finish his letter and to help Levi. Jumping as surprise kiss was dropped upon his head, Levi then slipped his arms around him, resting his chin on the omega's shoulder "Everything ok?" "Mmm. Yeah. Just thinking about what we've been through to get here" "A metric fuck tonne?" "Pretty much. I want to go back to our clutch, but I also want to finish these" "Historia? And to Armin and Mikasa?" "Yeah... you should write to Hanji and then to Isabel and Farlan. They'll all want to know" Isabel and Farlan were considering moving out to live closer, but Armin didn't trust anyone else with keeping the game populations in check, begging them to stay an extra winter before they moved out to work remotely. They'd be living on the other side of the road that lead to Mitras, closer to thicker woodland once things had settled. They'd even found a cottage to rent from a farmer with a rat problem. Farlan hadn't seemed convinced, while Isabel was over the moon. Naturally, Isabel got her way. They'd be keeping the store in Mitras and dividing their time in a move Levi called "stupid" "They can wait. I'm making some clear broth for you, your stomach will probably appreciate it more than anything heavy right now" "You're amazing" "I'm really not" "You are. I've been thinking about it nonstop... I wouldn't be alive without you. I couldn't do any of this without you... I'm sorry I've placed so much responsibility on your shoulders" "You haven't. You're selling yourself short my love. Go rest, if our roles were reversed you would be doing all of this for me. I'll finish the letters and sign them from both of us" "Thank you. My instincts want to stay in our nest, but my mind..." "Is telling you to be an idiot by moving far too soon. Rest. We've got three beautiful children to think of, and three beautiful eggs to be proud of" Leaning back as Levi stood, Eren stared up as his husband's face with a smile on his lips "I love you" "I love you too. My omega. My mate. My husband. My dragon. My Sweet Boy and stubborn little shit" Snorting out a giggle, Levi silenced him with a kiss "Now go" "Yes, master" "Don't start that shit unless you want a whole other clutch" "Oh god. Nope. My everything down there is a big fat nope right now. I'm behaving" "That's a first" "It might also be a last..." "Gods give me strength. Why did I marry you again?" "My charming personality and wit?" Levi shook his head "No. It was your arse. Definitely your arse" Faking offence, Eren pushed himself up to stand, forcing Levi to move out the way before he was headbutted. His alpha raising an eyebrow at him as he tried to appear huffy "Do these breasts mean nothing to you at all?" Taking a moment to gawk at him, Levi covered his mouth as he laughed "Go to bed already, you shit. I'll be right in" "Good. I wouldn't want this arse to be lonely" Moving to hug him again, Levi was careful not to press against his stomach "Oh come here. You know I love every single part of you" "You're a god damned sap, Levi Ackerman" "Only for you" Kissing him gently, the shared three more before Eren broke off with a happy hum "Mmm. Best alpha ever"

[cherry3point14]

Dean Winchester definitely isn't in love, so don't ask him about it    

DESCRIPTION: All the times that Dean definitely didn’t have any feelings for you and totally wasn’t pining away like a lovesick puppy, so if everyone could shut up about it that’d be great.

THIS IS A ONESHOT AS PART OF THE ALONE SERIES, WHICH YOU CAN READ HERE OR HERE (AO3), I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU READ THIS AFTER THAT FIC AS THIS IS AS ADD ON TO THAT STORY.

[A collection of Dean POV drabbles glued together to make a oneshot of how Dean fell in love with you (in the multi-chap fic Alone). Ranging from S9 E5 up to S10 E12. Characters: Dean, Sam, Reader. Warnings: MOC!Dean and mentions of Demon!Dean. 14 Year old Dean cannot control his body.]

AO3 link here if you would prefer.

The first time he sees you

The first time Dean sees you he thinks you're dead. He gets that familiar churn in his chest, guilt at having lost another one. You make three. They'd already found two dead girls downstairs so you, hanging there lifeless, makes three dead girls.

If only they'd have got here sooner but they weren't exactly scouring missing person reports while the Wicked Witch of the West was loose in the bunker. He knows sometimes they miss some, but it doesn't make it any easier and like every other time, he's still taking it personally. Three dead girls because of one bloodsucking Djinn, and him not getting there fast enough. The Djinn he can kill, it's harder to forgive himself.

Suddenly he wishes he'd twisted that knife into the son of a bitches heart a little deeper.

Course, that is before they actually get to you and your eyes flutter open. You look like you don't have blood left in you but somehow, you're still kicking. And just like that, he thinks he's going to get to save one as he tells Sam to cut you down. That'll do for today, just let him save one of you and maybe he'll be able to sleep tonight.

Then you talk. He's about to tell you not too, you're weak right now and you shouldn't be talking but you ask about the other one. Dean prepares to tell you about monsters being real and these ones in particular. Djinn are lonely cave dwellers. They live alone.

He never gets a chance before you grab the knife from Sam and shove Dean out of the way, with strength you shouldn't have after being drained of your blood for God knows how long. He doesn't even finish blinking and you've killed the Djinn who'd been lurking behind him and saved his ass instead.

And when he asks if you're a hunter you basically call him an idiot.

Somehow, Dean knows you'll be ok.

The first time you leave

Dean hadn't liked the idea of leaving you with Kevin at first. Sam had been insistent since you were in pretty bad shape after the Djinn and Dean could admit you did kind of save their lives right after they saved yours. But Kevin was family, Dean was just being careful.

You making fun of him down the phone hadn't really improved his opinion of you, he'd been really excited to see the squirrel.

It's when they get back to the bunker, and Dean still swears he's got an itch behind his ear, that he changes his mind about you.

Because Kevin—won't take breaks because he wants everything to be over and still mourning his mother—is running around the bunker playing hide and seek. Dean doesn't think he's ever seen the kid look like he's having so much fun. When Sam clears his throat to get Kevin's attention he looks embarrassed, but he still animatedly talks about the afternoon you've both spent playing cards and board games. He claims he only started because you were annoying him while you were bored, but then he's talking about his strategy in Monopoly that should have worked so maybe you'd cheated.

Damn. Dean kind of super fucking appreciates you making this kid take the day off because Kevin suddenly reminds him of the kid they first picked up all that time ago. The innocent kid from advanced placement before heaven and hell were after him. 

Although with his track record Dean should have known that the fun was never going to last.

He's never really heard something as loud as your scream and he's heard angels talk. He knows that might be a slight exaggeration, but it is goddam frightening when you're screaming so loud about finding Crowley.

Somehow, it's even worse when you leave quietly.

He takes you back to your car because he's not a dick. If you want to leave he's not going to try and stop you. Doing the sensitive thing is Sam's gig.

He's just glad when you stop crying on the journey because crying chicks are definitely not his rodeo. Not unless he's saving them anyway.

And despite your freak out, you don't seem like you need saving.

He's horrified when he sees what you consider a car. It's one of those things that's more computer than engine and you try to sell him on the heated seats. Of course, he can't show you that he's actually intrigued by that, not with Baby right there. His hand rests on her hood while he watches you get in your truck and spend a moment appreciating it before you come back. 

He doesn’t understand what there is to appreciate but he doesn’t say anything more about it. 

He makes you leave with his number and a promise to check-in, not before you insist he checks in with you.

Maybe he can manage that.

The first time you text

He's sitting in the car after having watched Cas go into his date when his phone goes off.

Breaking News. Bieber has been arrested. How are the pretty boys of America dealing with this crisis?

Dean can't help but smile at the screen. He hasn't heard from you since he drove away leaving you with your transformer truck and this is the first thing you text him?

No comment. And you've gotta keep my membership a secret.

He throws his phone down on the seat next to him and drives off hearing it buzz while he's on the road. He's smirking at the sound when the Sheriff calls and he changes direction to head to the station instead.

It's not until Cas is sliding out of the passenger seat the next morning, after his adventures in babysitting and Dean's own continuing adventures in angel killing, that he looks at the message you'd sent back the previous night.

A secret? Oh, you poor pretty dummy. It's true what they say, brains or brawn. Can't have it all.

Dean doesn't type back and instead opts to drive back to the bunker first. When he gets there Sam is, as ever, reading something that looks like the most boring book they own. And they have a whole library of boring.

He snaps a picture of Sam and sends it back with a caption.

This is what brains look like in its natural habitat. There's no case, he is choosing to do this for fun.

He sits down opposite Sam waiting for the reply, which only takes a minute.

What a nerd. I'll take a pretty face any day of the week.

He only realizes how much he's grinning when he hears Sam's voice, "what are you so happy about? How did it go with Cas?"

The first time he doesn't tell you something

He doesn't like watching Crowley walk up the stairs and out of sight. It makes his shoulders tense and his fingers twitch like they're missing a weapon. Too many times has he fallen into a pattern of working with Crowley and usually the outcome is the same, bad. But really what the hell is he supposed to do? He needs to find Sam and the angel currently taking his brother for a joy ride. He needs to focus on the person he can still save.

His brain is about to dwell on Kevin again when his phone vibrates in his pocket, like an electric shock, and your name flashes on the screen.

When he opens it there's a picture. You're holding your phone up for a selfie that encompasses your face and the table in front of you. Your free hand is lifting a fry from the plate of chili fries below, but it's still attached by stringy cheese and blobs of meat while your face is frozen in some over the top look of pleasure. Eyes rolling in the back of your head and tongue hanging out of your mouth. Underneath is a caption.

Better than sex.

He really tried to resist but the corners of his lips curl upwards for the briefest of seconds. It's a momentary reminder that everything isn't fire and brimstone and dick angels. But it's also a reminder he doesn't deserve. He slips his phone back into his pocket without replying and flushes that small spark of joy from his system.

The one thing he's grateful for is neither of you talks about the deep shit because he doesn't think he can bear to tell another person about Kevin. Even the idea of telling you, who only knew him for all of a few days, is too much anguish for Dean to consider. He buries that shit. He tells himself it's not something you do over text anyway and he can't call you from a CIA outpost either.

Then when Crowley returns with news of Baby he's back behind the wheel of the pimpmobile. He's got a brother to save and a mission.

The first time you don't text back

Dean is consumed by a lot of things. Guilt is probably the main one but, in fairness, he has a lot to feel guilty about. Anger is another. Before the mark, he could focus his anger, use it to sharpen his senses, make him a better hunter but now? With the mark slowly draining the things that make him Dean it's only the anger that remains. An unrestricted fury that swallows him whole sometimes.

Since he touched the first blade though, since he took a life with it, something else lights him up like the sky on 4th July. Need. Hunger. To hold the blade again and never let go. To kill with it. 

It's getting harder to fight the more he tries to. Every minute that passes he can feel the power surge up his arm like he's still holding it.

So, it's a relief to be distracted. He's mostly been distracting himself with his faithful friend, drink. She's comforting and safe and takes the edge off, if only temporarily.

The last few days there's been another, not necessarily good distraction, that he's been clinging to so tightly he's becoming stalker level obsessive but screw it, he's worried.

Sometimes you've made him wait a day for a reply, he assumes you're on a hunt, but it's been three days now with nothing. He's tried starting one of your casual arguments or sending you a joke about Sam being too tall to tie his own shoes, but nothing. Radio silence.

The concern is enough for him to break down and finally send you a message that straight up tells you he's worried.

Not heard from you in a few days, check-in at some point, ok?

He'd hoped it would be enough to force a reply if you knew he was serious. But he finds himself swirling his scotch in one hand and thumbing through his unanswered message history in the other. Which is looking one-sided and excessive on his part.

Then Crowley shows up. Dean barely resists punching the demon in the face and he only manages that since the bottom feeder has the blade and that's the only way to kill Abaddon. Dean does allow himself a huff and eye roll combo though, "you're like a bad case of the clap, every time I think you're gone you pop up again."

"Always the charmer." Is all the king of hell replies as Dean escapes to the pool table.

What follows is a few hours of annoyance. Trying to ignore the demon who is so intent on not being ignored, until finally Dean is saving Crowley from a low-level wannabe bad guy and burying all thoughts of you in favor of the thing he really needs to do. Kill Abaddon.

He guesses putting aside his worry is just one more thing to feel guilty about.

The second time you almost die on him

He hadn't realized how bothered he was about not hearing from you, now for four weeks and six days, until he's leaving the penthouse where he's just killed carrot top.

There's a lot of things he's repressed. It's a damn hobby of his. Dean Winchester hasn't had a good day if he hasn't swallowed a complicated emotion and washed it down with a whiskey chaser. Some come back to haunt him, some stay where he keeps them, mostly.

Not often do they come back as quickly as his concern for you.

He swears he tried to sleep when they got back to the bunker, but it was pointless. He had a case to work, the case just happened to be you.

One plus side of the mark of Cain? Better than any caffeine buzz when he needed to be focused. It's just that increasingly the focus becomes violent or murder-y.  

He checks the GPS on your car but it's static at some motel in Columbus. The address gets written down anyway, just in case, but if something happened to you he doubts they took you in your own truck. Then he checks in with a few hunters that he figures might be mutual acquaintances and the ones that are haven't heard from you either. It's when Sam wanders in that he tracks your phone and sees it hasn't had a ping in over a month.

Or about four weeks and six days, give or take.

It's a few miles from the motel your ridiculous red truck is sitting at and it's as good a place as any to start.

He's only half-aware he's been having a conversation with Sam the whole time.

Dean can feel the tension in his body as he drives, accompanied by that heavy, sickly feeling of anticipation he gets when he's on a hunt. The one that sits in his gut when he's trying to save someone.

Who knows, maybe you're fine. Maybe you've shacked up with a Townie and you've spent the last four weeks living carefree.

He knows that's not what's happened.

From the outside, the building looks like a piss poor version of every bad guy's lair ever. It's a few miles out of town against a lonely highway and looks about ten minutes away from crumbling under its own weight.

Sam tries to suggest scoping out the place before going in hot, but Dean shakes his head to end that train of thought before it starts. He doesn't care what's in there. With the blade tucked in the back of his jeans, he feels invincible but it's more than that. It's the familiar anger emanating from the mark. The vengeful fury that he can't control when his emotions are already running so high.

After all, he's already wasted four weeks and six days, give or take.

They kick down the main doors together, guns raised, but only his door splinters away from its hinges. His boots pound the concrete and he's ready for a fight, he needs a fight.

Except there are only two other people in the room. There's a woman standing over a table with something sharp in her hand and there's this other person. Chained to said table and as he gets closer, shouting for the stranger to get back, he sees the prisoners face.

Your face.

He's about to shoot the woman standing a few feet in front of him, with utter boredom on her face, but she flashes black eyes. It'd be easy to say that he's doing it for you, that shooting isn't good enough for this bitch who's been keeping you here. But as his fingers wrap around the hilt of the first blade forging a connection between the mark and the blade and his unfettered bloodlust, it's not about anything except the pure joy that he gets as he drives it into her chest.

Her death flashes in his eyes as he stands steadfast, watching the demon become nothing but an empty, dead shell. 

It's the voice he hasn't heard in months that pulls him back from the murderous haze. A quiet and broken whisper and then sobs. He turns his whole body in the direction of those sounds and takes in the sight of you. Mangled and bleeding. Some parts of you so bruised that he can't imagine what was done to cause it. The blade slips from his hand like he's scared the sight of it is going to frighten you.

The same hand that had held it, the same hand that had killed this Demon, curls into the ends of your hair while you cry. He wants to hold you, but he doesn't want to break you any more than you already are so this is all he can think to do. Shushing noises and his fingers tangled in the knots on your head.

This time he's not so sure you're going to be ok.

The first time he doesn't text you back

He sent the message before he summoned Crowley. It does nothing to ease how shitty he feels about this to you.

He can feel his phone buzzing continuously in his back pocket, you must be calling, when Crowley arrives with a complaint on his lips. 

All throughout the conversation, while Crowley spouts out his knowledge of the mark, that it's controlling him now and he'll die if he doesn't kill, the image of you bloody and broken is in the back of his head.

"And you're gonna help me."

Crowley actually looks interested, "and why am I going to do that?"

"Because I haven't killed you yet for what you did to her."

Crowley isn't stupid enough to laugh in Deans's face like he normally would, but he doesn't hold back the bite in his retort. "Oh squirrel. So sensitive still. Y/N got what was coming to her. Besides, what's to stop you killing me once you've got the blade and a full dose from the mark?"

Dean lets out a sigh. He's fighting the part of him that's still telling him not to do this.

"Because I want to gut Metatron more than I want you dead."

Crowley smiles. After a brief reprieve, Dean’s phone starts buzzing again. He takes it out only to turn it off before he nods and escapes with Crowley in tow.

The first time you don't say goodbye

He hasn't left his room since Cas left. He's been clawing at the inside of his head trying to piece things together but it's all half stories and half actual memories. And somehow karaoke remains.

So, Dean does what he does best. His reflex. He goes to grab a beer.

"Hunting felt like the thing I'd always been missing but my sister was going to have a career and kids and everything she ever wanted. I was going to make sure of it."

Your voice is quiet but not so quiet that it doesn't fill the library, the room acting like a huge echo chamber. He stops dead. Neither Cas or Sam had mentioned you were here but hearing your voice brings back bits and pieces. Enough that he can still remember what your neck felt like in his hand and the look in your eyes as you passed out after he'd smashed your head into a wall.

He stands there listening to you pour your heart out to Sam. You sister had been one of Azazel's, you'd burned them all and you couldn't find a way to bring your sister back.

Something flashes in his head. What you'd cried out in that warehouse. He'd never thought to ask you about it before they'd left you at that hospital but now it makes sense. Your sister had been a demon, a demon who tortured you, and he'd killed her.

Dean wants to jump out of the shadow he's hiding in when you blame yourself again. He doesn't. He's stopped in place when you say his name. Apparently, he knows something. What did he know?  

He's trying to remember when he hears Sam.

"So, you're not even going to say goodbye to him? You're just going to run away?"

A lump forms in Dean's throat. You were leaving because of something he knew but he couldn't remember. Maybe he could stop you.

He doesn't.

Because the thing he does know is that you deserve a chance to get away and go back to your old life. Hunting monsters without the big bad and without him. Dean's life has too many complications and you deserve to get out of that.

He nearly killed you and he nearly killed his brother. Sam wouldn't give up that easy but you? He could let you go.

The first time you come back

The rain is battering the outside of the bunker but it's quiet inside. Sam is gone and Dean is buried in a book looking for a thread of hope and finding none.

It's been quiet in the bunker for days. Since Charlie. Since what he did to Charlie.

But rain isn't loud enough to hide the pounding on the door, or the voice he hears as he's climbing the stairs.

"Strippergram, open up!"

He almost falters, almost trips over his own feet but somehow, he rights himself. His heart beating faster than necessary and his palms a little sweaty for his liking.

You're alive and, more than that, you're here.

As soon as he sees you it's like you haven't spent two months off the map. You're soaked, your clothes cling to every curve of your body in the rain, making you look fucking beautiful. Even if your loose hair is stuck to your forehead and you shiver in the cold.

For a while, it's like none of it happened. Him becoming a demon and running off with Crowley. You leaving without a goodbye. All erased while you stand there being idiots and trading jokes. For a few minutes even, the things he's done because of the mark get cast into the back of his mind.

Then you limp.

He's in the middle of explaining why 'Pour Some Sugar on Me' is one of the top three stripper songs of all time when his words stop. You're leaning on your right leg, right arm on the banister with an iron grip and you're dragging your left leg the rest of the way, down each step. While you don't seem to be about to immediately drop dead he's still concerned.

Of course, he had no idea what kind of injury you were going to admit to.

He shouldn't laugh. You got shot. But worrying takes a backseat when you tell him where you got shot. He's even grinning to himself as he gets the supplies needed to patch you up.

It's only when he opens the door to find you casually lying on the bed, ass up, that he doesn't find it so funny anymore. In fact, he tells you as much when you decide to slap your good ass cheek and make another joke.

He has to bite back a groan watching that.

He sinks into a comfortable position once he's concentrating on getting the bullet out of you. Then he can focus on the task in front of him and forget about your shapely, bare legs that look endless from this angle. It's not your ass he's touching with careful grazes and patient fingers, it's just a wound that he's fixing. Doesn't matter where it is.

That works fine until he puts a fresh bandage on and you immediately start trying to roll off the bed in your half-naked state.

He doesn't need to be told twice when you tell him to leave. He's just grateful that he manages to do it, honestly, he wouldn’t have been surprised if he'd been unable to move because of the situation in his pants. 

Thankfully you take a while to catch up with him, now in clean and dry clothes. And for some reason, he remembers what you said to Sam, not him, the day you left. About that always being your room and there's a warmth in his chest that you were actually telling the truth. You left clothes there, in your room.

His smile only gets wider when you ask about Sam. You've been here as long as you have and not noticed Sam is missing. He tells himself that it doesn’t mean anything but, what if it did?

He hadn't even thought about going back to his room and trying to read more lore. It hadn't crossed his mind once. Instead, he'd venomously defended his TV choices and made you a grilled cheese so that you could both drink the hard stuff. He wasn't sure when you last ate.

It's when you've both finally agreed to watch an old movie, although he doesn't remember which one, that you start drifting. He watches it out the corner of his eyes.

Your eyelids start getting too heavy for you to keep them open although you desperately try. You curl onto your side to get more comfortable and stretch your legs out before you realize your feet land in his lap and you quickly retract them. Not that he'd mind but he's past the point of using words as he watches you like a nature documentary.

Finally, when your eyes close this big, deep breath falls out of you and it seems to take away the last of your resistance because then your chest starts that gentle up and down of sleep. It only takes a few minutes before he decides to put you in bed since you start fidgeting for not having enough space and it bugs him.

That's definitely the reason he scoops you into his arms as gently as possible and takes his time slowly carrying you to your room.

Although when he gets you there it presents another problem. You keep trying to roll onto your back, which causes you to disturb your bullet wound, which makes you whimper and almost wake up. So, he stands there for a few minutes nudging you back onto your front, not because the noise you make when you almost wake up is the most helpless thing he's ever heard, but because you probably need your sleep.

It's how he ends up sitting in the chair and watching you. Not in a creepy sparkly vampire way but to make sure you don't rollover.

When you finally seem settled, by the fact that you're now sprawled out on your stomach making happy mumble sounds into your pillow, his own eyes get too heavy to keep open.

He definitely didn't wait till you were comfortable before he lets himself fall asleep. He wasn't tired until now is all. 

The first time you wake him up

He doesn't know what time it is or how long he was out but he does know that your hand is on his shoulder when he wakes up.

Dean cracks his eyes open and looks up at you, noticing how you smile when you call him 'dummy' and the way your eyes seem to sparkle when you mention pancakes. The happiness is so obvious that it's all he can manage to repeat it back, to make sure he was hearing you properly.

"Pancakes?"

You tell him to lie down and that's when he notices the ache in his back from sleeping propped up in this chair. He doesn't have time to tell you that you were right about it though because you wander off, presumably for the love of pancakes.

He stands up and stretches. It takes care of his back enough that he doesn't feel the need to lie down like he was told to and, with the promise of breakfast, he's done with sleep now. He notices the practically empty whiskey bottle as he slowly trudges his way to the kitchen and groans to himself.

Then he hears Sam in the kitchen. Dean hadn't realized he was back but he sure as shit could hear him talking to you. Sam was telling you about the mark, how it had gotten worse and Dean didn't need to see your face to hear the concern in your voice.

It's too early for him to control the anger in his veins as he asks to speak to Sam privately.

"Dean, what the hell? I can't get you out of your room, but Y/N shows up and you're watching TV and hanging out?" If Dean didn't know any better he'd think his little brother was jealous.

"What are you doing telling her how bad I've been?"

Sam's eyes appear to bug out of his head momentarily, "what like it's a secret now? She knows you have the mark, what's the problem telling her that you've been struggling? You have!"

Dean runs a hand down his face but it doesn't stop the words tumbling out, "because I don't want her to be afraid of me."

He doesn't know why but Sam stares dumbly like he's trying to work something out and in true annoying little brother fashion he steamrolls ahead with his assumptions once they are made. "If you feel like that about her why don't you… I mean I'd be ok with you asking her to stay, especially if it helps."

Dean feels warm on the back of his neck, but he furiously ignores it, "I don't know what you're talking about Sammy."

"What you mean the fact that last night was the first time in forever that you've slept more than an hour or hung out without some lore? Dude why don't you just ask her, as a friend even?"

This time his fist clenches and he struggles to release it. His voice is louder and more frustrated than he intended, "would you shut up I'm not asking."

Sam is doing his dumb puppy dog eyes now in an attempt to be convincing and understanding all at once, "But what if it makes a difference Dean. I mean she clearly-"

Dean pushes his index finger into Sam's chest, cutting him off with a glare, "You keep your mouth shut."

He has to walk away after that and not just because he can feel the pink on his ears. It's probably anger anyway, at Sam for butting in.

And then he trudges into the kitchen and you're flipping pancakes with a little sway in your hips as you do like there's a song in your head that he can't hear.

It's not weird that he wants to know what the song is.

The first time he fights with you

You somehow sneak into the room without him noticing. Maybe it's the fact that he's retreated back into his favorite new hobby, looking up mark lore, or maybe you're just sneaky.

When you ask about that text message he wishes he had more time. Even though he's been expecting this question since he sent it. There were so many things he's sorry for. He's sorry for calling Crowley in the first place, he's sorry for getting himself killed by Metatron, and turned into a demon. He's really fucking sorry about what he did as a demon but mostly he's sorry for what happened to you in the first place. He goes with his practiced answer though.

"That was when I started working with Crowley. He had the first blade and it was the only way I could kill Metatron. But after what he did to you, I thought…"

"You thought you owed me an apology for trying to save the world?"

How were you so understanding about this? He saw what had been done to you, or at least the after effects, the rest he can only imagine. And yet you were so quick to forgive him that he wonders if you were even mad at him for his adventures with the king of hell.

Then you have to go and ask about his argument with Sam at breakfast.

You keep asking and asking, a question for every answer that comes out of his mouth. And he jumps away from you because you're too close, but you follow him anyway. 

He doesn't want to talk about it, if he was going to ask you to stay he wants it to be different. He doesn't want it to be because of the mark or his screwed-up life.

Except translating those emotions to the mark is something different entirely. All it knows is that he's getting agitated, which leads to violence, which leads to the resentments he buried down deep about you leaving flying from his mouth before he can stop them.

He knows he's already too far gone but it's so easy to push your buttons, you haven't seen him at his worst, so you don't know what he's capable of, so you fight back. You argue. You challenge him until he says it.

"No worries honey. I didn't cry myself to sleep or anything. With your track record, I think I dodged a bullet."

When you answer him with, "go fuck yourself, Dean," he wants to stop. He wants to pull back and apologize. Just the way you say his name is enough to make his chest constrict.

But that's not what the mark wants. The mark wants him to have the last word, so he follows you as you leave.

He should have just let you go.

Sam shows up at the worst possible time and you tell him that you’re staying. Dean knows it's only to spite him for everything he's said but in some twisted way he's got exactly what he wanted. He can calm down now, right?

"LIKE HELL ARE YOU STAYING, I WANT YOU OUT!"

He roars it against her own battle cry but both of you end the same way. Trying to stare at each other until one of you spontaneously combusts.

Neither of you do.

Dean has no idea how but eventually he tears himself away. He shoots daggers at you one more time before he retreats to his room, and with a slam of the door, he hears you do the same.

So much for that.

The second time he goes through puberty

He's sitting on a bus. A goddamn bus.

He had to leave Tina there alone and he is sitting on a bus. In a hoodie. Looking like Bieber.

Dean really didn't want to play into the teenage stereotype, but this seemed totally unfair.

He's about ten minutes into the journey when he closes his eyes. Just for a minute. He hasn't slept in what feels like days and the rumble of the bloated bus engine lulls him to sleep.

It's been a while since Dean had a dream, in fact, he hasn't since well before he got the mark. Maybe not being able to dream another side effect nobody writes in the lore books.

But he's in his teenage body now so with no mark it's Dreamtown USA, population Dean Winchester.

At first, the weirdest thing about the dream is that he's an adult, like he had been a few hours ago. It's simple enough. He's in the bunker, cleaning his gun except he's butt naked. Feet crossed on the table while he leans back in his chair but naked. And he thinks it's hilarious, he's laughing and making a plan to get Sam to sit in his chair for dinner. This goes on for a while until the bunker door opens and closes and he looks up to see you there. Dressed like a pizza delivery girl. But in roller-skates that you somehow use to get down the stairs without breaking your neck.

Dream Dean seems to have no issues with the fact that he's naked, or that the pizza delivery girl, you, let yourself in. He's mainly concerned about the pizza.

"Delivery for Mr. Dick Hertz," your voice is a sultry tone as if you're trying to be a porn star. He laughs at the name thinking his joke hilarious, but your mouth falls open in shock when you realize what you just said. "Oh no, is it true? Does your dick… hurt?"

You're moving towards him now like you're floating, although, it's probably the skates, and you toss the pizza box to the table carelessly. As you reach him the baseball cap on your head is thrown away too and your hair falls around your face in bouncy pornstar curls. "Because if it does hurt, I'm sure I can help with that."

Dean sits forward now, the front legs of his chair slamming against the floor and he sits up straight. His hands reach out for you and pull you forward so you're straddling him on the chair, while he's still naked. "I'm sure you can, sweetheart," he says smiling up at you as his fingers skin the hem of your tee, dragging it up your body. You bend your arms and duck your head letting him throw the offending item over his shoulder, leaving you topless because, of course, you're not wearing a bra.

He grins as he leans himself forward, pressing his lips to the skin of your chest, while you giggle. It's only a moment later that you push him back and lean into his face, your lips so close to his he can almost taste them.

"If I'm going to help you, I'm going to need to finish getting out of these clothes first," you whisper before you close the gap, crashing your mouth into his.

"Hey kid, wake up!"

Dean sits up abruptly. A teenager again, on a bus, in a hoodie. He blinks to adjust his eyes to the light when he sees some old guy shouting at him, "the driver said this is your stop kid."

It's only as he stands up that he feels something wet. It's a strange experience because it's a feeling he remembers only consciously having twice before in his life. And both times he was, shockingly, a teenager.

"You've got to be freaking kidding me."

The first time he kisses you

Dean is enjoying the ride home like any other time he's been kept apart from Baby. His full focus is on how she's driving and if that's a smudge on her hood or an actual dent.

He's so engrossed with the sound of her engine that he doesn't really listen to Sam much. Dean will tell him later and Sam will get annoyed, but Dean knows he'll repeat all of it anyway.

Or at least he wasn't listening until Sam said it.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, I spoke to Y/N this morning and told her we're on our way back. She asked about us grabbing some dinner because, and I quote, 'she's not our maid'."

"What?" Dean asked suddenly very interested in every word his brother said.

"Well ok there was more than that, she went on about if we wanted a maid then we'd need to find a non-kinky one online, but I don't remember the whole thing word for word."

He can't believe his brother is as smart as he is and thinks the part that Dean wanted repeating was the maid thing. "Wait, so you're saying she's still at the bunker?"

Sam seems to catch on because he twists in his seat to look at Dean better with a smirk on his dumb face, "yes Dean, I'm saying she's still there. Like she said she would be."

Baby was used to sudden increases in speed but even this one made her jolt a little as Dean's foot hits the floor.

"Dean, what the hell? Is this about your, ahem, dream?"

He already regrets telling Sam about that but when he'd had to rush to the bathroom after arriving at the motel, Sam had forced the information out of him.

"Shut up Sammy," was Dean's eloquent response when, in fact, it was about the dream.

He'd been so sure that you would have left. After the fight, the way you'd both screamed at each other, more importantly, the things he'd said. You'd left before for a lot less. So, yeah, he'd been sure. He'd been expecting to come home to an empty bunker if he was lucky a note that didn't directly blame him even if it was his fault.

But you were still there. You'd stayed. He had no idea why you'd stayed but you had, and he wanted to be there ten minutes ago already, but Baby can only go so fast.

Denial was getting harder to maintain with the way he needed to be there already, the way his heart thumped in his chest or the fucking butterflies in his stomach. A man with the mark of Cain on his arm shouldn't be feeling butterflies in his gut, but here Dean is anyway. Maybe he wasn't ready to put words onto his feelings but fuck, if all he wanted to do was kiss you.

Sam wisely doesn't interrupt his daydreams for the rest of the way, he doesn't even mention that they haven't stopped for food.

When the bunker is in sight you're outside and Dean still doesn't believe it. 

You’re really there. You really stayed. 

You're in this outfit, God help him, it's cut-off jeans and t-shirt that is sticking to your skin on account of you cleaning your truck. He pulls up and throws Baby into park—he'll apologize for being so rough with her later—and as he slams the door you're offering to clean Baby later to make amends for raiding his car supplies.

Surely you couldn't have been this perfect the whole goddamn time.

Well, not perfect, considering your choice of wheels. 

He's by your side before you really finish the question. He's close enough that you have to stand up to full height and he can't help taking a second to look at you. Your hair is pulled onto the top of your head and there's a smudge of something on your cheek, your eyes are wide with oblivious innocence right until the last second before he kisses you.

In his dumb teenage dream, kissing you made him jizz in his pants, but this is even better. This is real. Plus he manages to control himself.

Your lips are full and soft and frozen for a split second until he runs his tongue over them. You taste like syrup and coffee and your mouth is warmer than his somehow. When you kiss him back his thumb rubs encouraging circles over your cheek, not that you need encouraging because you kiss him fiercely. You kiss him like you argue, with your entire soul.

When you can't breathe anymore, and you pull back, he tells you you're staying. And when you try to start a lecture, which he knows will be about not telling you what to do, he kisses you again.

Only partly to shut you up, mostly because once he's started he doesn't know how to stop.

[walkerismychoice]

Betrayal (Damien X MC)

Book: Perfect Match

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 1946

Author’s Note: This part 4 in the series chronicling my head-cannon of Damien and MC’s relationship up to present day, explaining why they have never been more than friends. Parts of this were not fun to write. Be warned there is angst. Parts 1-3 are linked below.

Part 1: For Safety | Part 2: Man of the Hour | Part 3: Sticky Situation

Shit, shit, shit. What am I doing here? Damien had thought about what he would do for a couple days before deciding to try and give Kyle the chance to do the right thing. He set up a meeting with Kyle at his office, which had seemed like the best option at the time. But now as he sat outside Kyle’s office doors, overcome with nerves, this idea didn’t seem so great anymore.

Kyle opened the office door, “Damien, please come in. What can I do for you? I’m not sure what legal services I can offer unless you are planning on turning your private business into a corporation.”

Damien closed the door on his way through. “I’m actually here on more of a personal matter. Do you have a few minutes?”

“Is this about Kai?”

“In a way, yes. I have something to show you. Damien spread the photos from Mike across Kyle’s desk.”

Kyle studied the photos and his expression turned from confusion to recognition to anger in a matter of moments. “Where did you get these? Were you following me? I should have known you were one of those sleazy PIs. You have probably been sleeping with Kai behind my back this whole time. You sure as hell spend more time with her than I do. I’ve seen the way you look at each other. ”

“Hey don’t turn this around on me. You are the one caught with his pants down, so to speak. I am just a good friend to Kai, and as her friend, I’m giving you the chance to make things right and tell her what’s going on.”

“This is between me and Kai. Leave my office now. You are not welcome back again.”

“You can kick me out, but I’m warning you: You tell Kai or I will tell her myself.” Damien slammed the office door and didn’t look back.

=====

Two days later, Damien hadn’t heard anything from Kai or Nadia that would suggest Kyle had fessed up to Kai. He walked up to the ladies’ apartment for their standing Friday night “date.” He was afraid Kyle might show up today just to spite him.

“Hey Damien, come in. Kai is sorry she can’t be here tonight, but Kyle surprised her last minute and is taking her for a long weekend in St. Thomas.”

Fuck. Damien hoped he didn’t say that out loud. He looked down at his phone and there was a text from Kai 10 minutes ago:

Sorry I had to ditch. Kyle is taking me away for the weekend last minute, and I couldn’t say no! Try not to miss me too much! 

“Damien, why do you look like your puppy just got run over by a truck?” Nadia questioned with concern. “I know Kai is your favorite, but we can still have fun.”

“No, no, it’s not that. Sorry Nadia. I am glad to see you. I just got a text about a case that is stressing me out,” he lied. Yes he was disappointed that Kai wouldn’t be there, but he was seriously worried about Kyle’s motives.  Kyle could barely find an evening to spend with Kai lately, and now as soon as Damien confronted him about the cheating, he was whisking Kai away on a romantic getaway? He had a pit in his stomach that was growing in size.

“I have just the thing to cheer you up!” Nadia held up two romantic comedies. “It’s my turn to choose and Kai isn’t here to help you overrule me this time.”

Damien groaned. “Okay, let’s get this over with.”

“Complain all you want Damien, but I know you secretly love these movies.”

Maybe Damien was a bit of a hopeless romantic deep down, but the last thing he needed right now was to watch anything that would make him imagine what kind of romance would be happening between Kyle and Kai in St. Thomas. He would just have to suffer in silence.

=====

“This view is amazing!” Kyle and Kai’s hotel room looked out over the ocean. Kai sat on the balcony enjoying a cup of coffee as she watched the sun rise. “You should come out here and see it.”

“Just give me a few minutes. I need to finish up some work emails.” Kyle shouted from inside the suite.

Typical. Kyle couldn’t even unplug for one weekend. This place was beautiful and would be super romantic, but Kai almost felt alone, even with Kyle right next to her.

Kyle emerged 10 minutes later, but the colorful sunrise has passed. “Okay, I’m yours for the rest of the day, I promise. Why don’t we spend the day relaxing on the beach? Then we can come back and rest up for a bit before dinner. I booked a reservation for Oceana at sunset. Both the food and the view are incredible.”

“Sounds like a good plan to me!” Kai was determined to try and give Kyle the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he really could devote a whole day to her.

As the day wore on, Kai was pleasantly surprised. She thought hell must have literally frozen over when Kyle left his phone in the room when they went to the beach.  They were exhausted from lying in the sun all day, so they had a relaxing nap before getting ready for dinner. Kyle wore a suit and Kai put on a nice cocktail dress before heading to the restaurant.

“Seafood is normally not my favorite, but everything was delicious. How did you know about this place Kyle?”

“One of my colleagues recommended it. Speaking of work…”

“Hey, I thought you weren’t going to talk about work for the rest of the day,” Kai scolded

“Well this is important. I found out this morning that I made junior partner! That is what I was emailing about.”

“Really? I am so happy for you…and for us.”

“Regarding us, I have one more surprise.” At that moment, a waiter brought out what looked like a dessert tray with a cover over the top.

“Hmm, you got us a yummy dessert to share?” Kai opened the lid, but there was no dessert inside. Instead there was a small velvet covered box. “What is-“

Before Kai could finish, Kyle grabbed the box, opened it, and got down on one knee. “Kai Park, will you marry me?”

Kai was stunned to say the least. She was not ready for this question yet. They had been dating a couple years, but she had several doubts. At the same time, Kyle was everything on paper that she thought she wanted. They could build the type of life together that she dreamed of having since she was a child. She couldn’t turn that down. “Yes! Yes, I will marry you Kyle Turner.”

=====

Damien was finishing up reviewing a case when he got a text from Kai. She would be getting back this afternoon and wanted to meet him and Nadia at the local diner they frequented for dinner. She had something to tell them. Damien was afraid to guess what her news was. He had a feeling that no matter what, it wouldn’t be good for him.

Nadia was already in their favorite booth when Damien Arrived. “I came straight from work, so I haven’t seen Kai yet. I’m excited to hear about her trip!”

“Yeah, it should be interesting,” Damien mumbled.

Just then, Kai walked in with a beaming smile on her face. This somehow made Damien worry more about what Kai was here to say.

Kai sat down next to Nadia, and before anyone could get a word in, she enthusiastically held up her left hand. On her ring finger was a huge sparkling diamond ring. Much larger than anything Damien could ever afford.

“Oh my god Kai! Congratulations!” Nadia practically jumped off the bench seat as she turned to hug Kai. Damien knew that Nadia wasn’t Kyle’s biggest fan either, but that she would support whatever made Kai happy.

Kai turned to Damien with anticipation as he sat silently. He was trying to act like everything was fine, but the bewildered look on his face probably gave him away. “Oh, congratulations.”

“Damien is something wrong?” Kai asked.

“I’m sorry; it was just a really long day at work. Who’s hungry? I’m hungry. Let’s order.” Damien had actually lost his appetite but he wanted to change the subject fast.

Damien picked at his food and hardly said a word throughout dinner. He was kicking himself for trying to give Kyle a chance to come clean. Now things were so much worse. Why hadn’t he just gone to Kai right away?

Everyone paid their checks and Kai and Nadia put their coats on. Damien had to tell her. It was now or never. “Hey Kai, umm, there is something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“You barely said a word all night. Now you are ready to talk?” Kai questioned with a nervous laugh.

Yep, she noticed something was off. “Yes, could you please come back to my place for a little bit? I have something to show you.”

“Damien, I’m pretty tired and I have to work tomorrow. Can we do this another day?”

“Please Kai…there is something I think you need to know now before you make any more decisions.”

“Damien, I’m not sure what you could possibly mean, but fine. Let’s make this quick.”

=====

What is up with Damien? Kai wondered. If he had feelings for her and waited until now to do anything about it he was too late.  It seemed really important to him to talk to her in private, so she agreed, but she was not looking forward to the conversation.

They were silence the whole cab ride to Damien’s house and on the way inside.

“Do you want any water, a glass of wine, anything?”

“No thank you Damien. I just want to know why you asked me here.”

“Okay, I guess we aren’t beating around the bush.” Damien walked over to his desk and pulled out a file folder. He placed some photos on the coffee table in front of the couch Kai was sitting on.

At first Kai didn’t notice who was in the photos, but then she realized it was Kyle and a woman…a woman that was most definitely not her. “What is this? How did you get these?” Kai asked with an accusatory tone.

“I had some suspicions that Kyle was cheating on you, so I hired a friend of mine to look into it.”

“How long have you known?”

“I just got the photos last week. I went to Kyle right away-“

“Wait, what? You went to Kyle first?” Kai’s head was swimming. She felt betrayed on multiple levels. “I don’t know if I’m more pissed off that you went to Kyle instead of me, or that you took it upon yourself to investigate this in the first place. I didn’t ask you to do this. It wasn’t your business!” Kai was shaking with anger.

“I was just trying to protect you Kai. If I had told you I just thought Kyle was cheating without having any proof, you probably wouldn’t have believed me and would have pushed me away then.”

“I can’t say how I would have reacted, but I don’t think I would have felt anywhere near as betrayed as I do now. I need some space Damien. Please don’t contact me. I’ll call you if and when I’m ready to talk.”

With that Kai walked out the door. She used every last bit of strength to make it back home before she completely fell apart.

[chasholidays]

Thanks for doing this again!! I'd love to read a Dancing with the Stars Bellarke AU if possible!!

The nice thing Clarke has found about Dancing with the Stars is that, as a general rule, the less she likes her celebrity partner, the sooner she’ll be eliminated.

It’s not a purposeful thing; she always does her best with every season, she’s way too competitive to not. But it tends to be hard, to work with people she dislikes, as the root cause of her dislike is generally that they won’t fucking listen to her. When she goes out early, it’s almost because her stupid celebrity refuses to listen to her or thinks she’s too harsh or the dance is too hard. It’s not like she usually gets to know them on any deep level; they spend a few weeks together in a surreal environment, and then she never sees them again.

Finn Collins, though. Finn Collins is new.

“You could just break one of his legs,” Bellamy suggests. They’re getting drinks and Bellamy is mocking her because while Ontari is something of a nightmare, she’s at least an expected kind of nightmare. She’s a controlling former actress who wants this to reboot her career and thinks Bellamy is there to serve her, not teach her. It sucks, but they’ve all dealt with that before. “Like, casually.”

Clarke snorts. “What’s the casual way to break someone’s legs? Ski mask and a tire iron?”

“I was thinking you just trip and fall and get him with your knee as you go down, but if you’ve got a ski mask and a tire iron–”

She elbows him. “Seriously, I’m worried that if he gets to the final he’s going to propose or something. Just to get audience votes.”

“That is how he got famous, right? Deciding he was going to marry a woman he barely knew?”

“If he tries to give me a rose I actually will break one of his legs,” she grumbles, and Bellamy laughs.

Finn’s not the first “star” to make it on the program because of his experience in reality TV, but Clarke will admit she finds him one of the least impressive. He went on The Bachelor despite, apparently, having a serious girlfriend, and he was somehow hoping that she wouldn’t find out because she hated reality TV, and that he’d be able to dump her cleanly if it went well.

Instead, it all blew up in his face, as he deserved, and by three months after his engagement at the end of the show, he was single and slightly infamous, which is, admittedly, the sweet spot for people who want to continue to appear on reality TV. He’s hosted some specials, been on some morning shows, and now seems to be known mostly as a pleasant, generic attractive white guy, like they didn’t have enough of those on TV already.

“If it makes you feel better, he’s not actually a good dancer, so he should get weeded out pretty soon,” Bellamy points out, practical as always. “He’s been scraping by on charm and luck. I’m just glad the charm stopped working on you.”

She makes a face. “It wasn’t working, I was being polite.”

“Because you didn’t know anything about him.”

“I’m still being polite.”

“I’m just saying, before I told you to google him, you actually kind of liked him.”

Clarke grins and nudges him. “So you were trying to save me?”

“Friends don’t let friends date former Bachelor contestants, Clarke.”

“Especially not ones who cheated on their real girlfriends. He would have lost me pretty soon anyway. He’s just so–”

“Finn?” Bellamy supplies.

“Pretty much. How’s Ontari doing? I feel like you aren’t complaining as much.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want to cut into your time,” he teases, and she elbows him again. He ducks his head, laughing, and Clarke finds herself smiling too. He’s in a good mood today, a rarity, and it’s nice to see him so relaxed. “Honestly, she’s fine. Don’t get me wrong, she hates me, thinks she knows better than I do, and if she could just be her own teacher and partner, she’d be fucking thrilled. But the judges keep praising all the stuff I say they will, so she’s coming around. And I’d take unnecessary asshole hostility over someone trying to hit on me every time.”

“So, my life is terribleand makes you feel better about yours?”

He raises his glass. “Appreciated.”

She shakes her head, smiling. “Happy to help.”

*

As with so many things, the Finn situation gets worse before it gets better. He’s one of those people who, as he gains experience and confidence, also gains opinions, and while that can be a good thing, his opinions are bad, and he should feel bad.

“He thinks we need to put more Bachelor stuff into the routine,” she tells Bellamy, a week later.

“I told you he wanted to give you a rose. I tried to warn you.”

“He used the word synergy.”

That makes him wince. “Jesus, really?”

“Synergy, I swear to god. He thinks the cross-promotional synergy will really help his brand.”

“If that’s an actual quote, I might break his leg.”

“It is.” She puts her head on his shoulder with a sigh. “I never thought basic competence would be this annoying.”

“Yeah, it’s a real burden.” He pauses, thinking something over. “Did he say what he thinks his brand is? Because asshole from The Bachelor is a pretty competitive field.”

“That’s why he wants to add dancing. None of the others are dancers.”

“I’ve seen him dance, he isn’t either.”

Clarke smiles. “Doesn’t that reflect on me? I’m the one who’s supposed to be teaching him.”

“You’re doing your best with what you have to work with.”

“Ontari is actually good.”

“She’s nominally a singer, so I guess she should be.”

“Nominally, you’re such a snob.”

“I just think when you autotune that much you should lose some of the credit for your musical skills,” he grumbles. Bellamy googles everyone who signs up for the show extensively, which is how he knows things like who Finn is and what Ontari’s music sounds like. Clarke’s experience tends to be more scattershot, with some people she recognizes and some she wouldn’t know were stars unless someone told her. Which doesn’t bother her, but she’s pretty sure Bellamy is still embarrassed about his first season, when they had Roan Churchill on the show and everyone else was star struck and Bellamy mistook him for a new PA.

So now he’s an expert.

“But she does actually have rhythm and some taste.”

“Let’s not get carried away. I’m still rooting for Monty.”

“Me too,” Clarke admits. Usually she roots for her own star, and then Bellamy’s, but since both of theirs suck, they had to find other people. Monty’s kind of quiet and dorky, famous as a cartoonist of all things, and everyone expected him to fail out basically immediately, but the guy can move. It’s kind of awesome.

“So, what does Finn do with the rose in this hypothetical dance?” he asks. “How bad is it?”

“It’s in his mouth.”

“For your disco week number?” Bellamy asks, sounding dubious.

“Don’t tell me you’re against disco roses.”

“At this point I think it’s safe to say I’m against Finn,” he grumbles. “I don’t really want you to get knocked out, but–yeah, if he could got horribly injured and you had to get a new partner, I could live with that.”

“Still working on how to break his legs and make it look like an accident. But if I figure out how, I’ll let you know.”

“If you need an alibi, just ask.”

She grins, kisses his cheek. “Yeah, I know.”

*

Clarke and Bellamy have been professionals on the show for six seasons together, but they’ve never actually danced together. It’s not something Clarke thinks about, not something she felt like she was missing in her life. She knows Bellamy is a great dancer, one of the best she’s ever seen, and she’s always thought it would be fun, but she hasn’t danced with plenty of people.

It comes up primarily because Bellamy and Ontari somehow get eliminated before she and Finn do, which is just absurd. It’s not like Clarke likesOntari–quite the opposite–but she was without a doubt a much better dancer than Finn is, and she definitely should have stayed longer.

On the bright side, Bellamy is no longer the competition, but he’s still her friend, so he’s just hanging around offering commentary on their moves. It’s kind of cheating, probably, but it’s not like he isn’t offering commentary on other people’s routines. She’s just his favorite, and he hates Finn, so he’s doing it extra for them.

“This is impossible!” Finn finally says, in exasperation. “No one could do this!”

“That’s just bullshit,” Bellamy says, mild. “Just because you can’t doesn’t mean it’s impossible.”

“Yeah? Then you do it.”

It’s an incredibly stupid thing to say, and Finn realizes it maybe a second after he says it, but it’s too late.

“Sure,” says Bellamy. He glances at his friend Miller, who’s behind the camera today. “Assuming that’s cool.”

“I don’t give a shit,” says Miller. “They might not use the footage but go for it.”

“Clarke?” he asks, and Clarke finds that she really, really wants to.

It’s a surprise, but it shouldn’t be.

“It would probably be good to get a demonstration in. You know it?”

“Yeah, I know it.” His eyes sweep over her, just once, like he’s checking in, and then he offers his hand.

She’ll be the first person to admit the whole thing works a lot better with Bellamy than it does with Finn. It’s less that sexual attraction is required for dance–it definitely isn’t–and more that comfort with the partner helps.

But it’s also a little bit that it’s a sexy song, and a sexy dance, and given her choice between dirty dancing with Finn and dirty dancing with Bellamy, Bellamy wins every time.

The speed was what was tripping Finn up, mostly, and some of the more complicated footwork, but of course Bellamy doesn’t struggle with that. He’s light on his feet, his movements sure, and his eyes never leave hers. It’s close and hot and intimate and like no other dancing has ever been, like no other partner has ever been. Her whole life, nothing has ever been like this.

By the time they’re done, everyone is staring at them, and Clarke’s wondering if she’s allowed to drag him off somewhere and fuck him now, or if she’s required to wait until later.

Judging from his expression, he’s wondering the same thing, but he makes up his mind first. “See?” he says, to no one in particular. “Anyone can do it.”

“Yeah, that’s the lesson we learned there,” says Miller, dry.

Finn, on the other hand, is just sort of gaping at them; Clarke offers him a sunny smile. “I don’t think it’s the choreography,” she says, and that makes him close his mouth.

“No,” he says, at last. “Probably not.”

*

Bellamy is waiting for her when she leaves the showers after, looking like an anxious kid after his first school dance, of all things.

“Hi,” she says.

“Hi. I thought I could, uh–I thought we should talk.”

“Talk?” she asks, amused. “You want to talk?”

“What’s wrong with talking?”

“Nothing. But it seems kind of unnecessary.”

“Unnecessary,” he repeats, but there’s a smile lurking around his mouth.

“Was some part of what happened there unclear?” she asks, trailing her fingers up his chest.

“I hope not,” he says, and leans down to kiss her.

So they’re definitely on the same page.

*

When she and Finn get eliminated that week, she assumes that it’s partly because they included some of the footage of her and Bellamy practicing together, and nothing she and Finn did came even close to being that good.

Bellamy assumes so too, because he greets her with a kiss and, “See? We got rid of him.”

“I don’t know if that counts.”

“He’s gone and we’re together,” he points out. “That sounds like winning to me.”

It’s hard to argue with that logic, and she cuddles into his arms, warm and perfectly content, despite the loss. “Yeah,” she says. “When you put it like that.”

[notsoguiltykpop]

Partners in Crime pt2

Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Fluff, humor, angst, light smut (probably just implied)

Arranged marriage, fake relationship

You were in love with someone else, he was in love with himself. Was there ever  a chance for the engagement to work out?

Part 1

It was pouring rain when you and Taehyung made your way back inside. Your plan wasn’t to get drenched, but the rain hit so fast that by the time you were out of the maze it was already too late. You made your way across the lawn gingerly, trying to keep the heel of your shoes from sinking into the mud.

“Are we really going to do this?” You asked as you neared the house. Taehyungs plan still seemed absurd, but you were willing to try if he was--if nothing else, just for as long as it took for you to think of a better plan.

“I don’t see any other options, do you?” He said, just as you stepped wrong and lost your balance. You would have been fine, but Taehyung took the opportunity to quite literally sweep you off your feet. He picked you up bridal style, giving you a wink. “Might as well start now, right?”

You nodded, not quite sure of what to say. Your mother would be watching from inside, that much was guaranteed, and this certainly would look good. But it still felt strange, being in someone’s arms that weren’t Hoseoks. When you first started dating, he picked you up every chance he got because it would make you blush and giggle like crazy. Now, you weren’t sure when the last time was that he had done so--you put it down to always being tired from working so many hours.

Taehyung carried you the rest of the way to the house, with you trying not to think about how strange all of this was going to be. Even if you and Taehyung were faking it, the thought of going on dates with him, holding hands with him, kissing him... It all felt so wrong.

You were set down gently on the tile floor inside the house, the butler having opened the door for the two of you.

“Dekerd, could you do me a favor and find her something dry to change into while I grab a towel?” Taehyung asked the butler, who nodded curtly before leaving. You had no idea where you mother and his family had gone, and you looked around the large room as you waited. Unsurprisingly, you mother appeared out of nowhere the second that Taehyung was gone, hurrying over to you, putting a hand on your elbow.

“How did it go?” She asked in a hurried whisper. “You haven’t already ruined things have you?”

You bit your tongue before you could say something you’d regret. If Taehyungs plan was going to have any chance of working, you needed to keep your cool.

“No, he’s actually... Kind of nice.” This was true, and you were thankful for it; your mother always knew if you were lying.

“Kind of? He carried you across the lawn in the rain, I’d say that’s more than kind of nice.” Your mother narrowed her eyes at you. “But I must say, don’t make him do that again. He’ll break his back carrying you around.” Your mother looked you up and down as she said the words, and you thought you might not be able keep your mouth shut for much longer.

“I didn’t make him do anything...” You started.

“She didn’t even really have a say in the matter.” Taehyung had shown up at your side without your realizing it, and your mother looked almost as surprised to see him. “I’ll be sure to ask next time.” He gave your mother a dazzling smile that you thought could have melted icebergs. He wrapped your shoulders in a towel as he spoke, rubbing your arms gently to dry you off.

“Thank you.” You said quietly, giving him a small smile. Fake or not, it was nice to be doted on.

“Dekerd found you some clothes that should fit you good enough, while you change I’ll put on some hot chocolate.” You hated the little voice in the back of your head asking when the last time Hoseok had made you a hot drink, or anything of the sort, was. 

You nodded deftly. Taehyung was good at the whole sweet-almost-fiance thing, to your relief. Now all you had to do was slowly pretend to forget about Hoseok and put aside your feelings for a while. It was a lot easier said than done. 

Not even a week later, the wedding plans were starting to be put into place. This was mainly due to your mother pushing for it, eager to get it over with. Once it was done, the two companies would start work together with a new trust--something they lost long ago as they rivaled with one another, fighting over who would be the best hotel business in the country. Bangtan won--by a lot--but your mother never outwardly acknowledged it. This deal would ensure that your families business stayed out of bankruptcy, and would elevate Bangtan to new levels. The only problem was neither of them trusted the other not to sabotage the whole thing.  

How either of them thought you, someone who wasn’t involved with the company at all, marrying the heir of Bangtan was going to help anything was beyond you. If anything, the fact that your mother was willing to trade you to her worst enemies should have shown that she wouldn’t care if ruining Bangtan ruined you. The Kims were sorely mistaken in assuming this would grant them any kind of protection against her if that was their aim.

Not that it really mattered. With any luck, your marriage to Taehyung would only last a month at most.

“Why isn’t there any food in the fridge?” You asked, though you suspected you knew the answer. Matilda, the house maid, looked at your guiltily.

“Your mother says you aren’t to eat more than one meal a day, and that it can’t be more than five hundred calories.”

“Is she crazy?” Your eyes widened at her words. “I’ll die!”

Matilda rubbed her neck, avoiding eye contact. “She said you’ll probably cheat on the diet, so you won’t die. Probably.”

You couldn’t believe this. “She needs me alive for the wedding, which means she’s going to have to let me eat.” You snapped, turning away from her to take your keys from where you left them the previous day. If there wasn’t food in the house, you’d just have to buy some.

Slowly, you turned back to Matilda. “Where are my car keys?” You asked, and she continued looking at the floor.

“Hidden.”

There was pause as you blinked at her. Your mother really had gone to far this time, it was your car that you payed for with your own money, she had no right to take away the keys like you were some unruly sixteen year old. “Fine. Then I’ll walk to Duncan Donuts and stuff my face without my car.”

You turned on your heel and walked to the front door. There was only so much of your mothers insanity that you could put up with. You threw the door open only to find yourself face-to-face with Taehyung.

“Oh.” You blinked at him. “What are you doing here?”

“I thought I’d take you out for breakfast--unless you have other plans, that is.”

That was convenient. “Yeah. No. I mean, I’d like that.” You suspected your mother set this up. She made sure you were hungry and wanted out of the house, and then made Taehyung that escape. It was clever, but little did she know you would have agreed anyway. The more time you spent with Taehyung, the better. You still had to appear slightly resentful of the plan for the time being, if you had a change of heart too suddenly she would be suspicious, but with each time seeing him you would get a little less outwardly angry. Or, that was the plan. “This wasn’t your idea, was it?”

Taehyung laughed. “A little bird told me you were feeling a little down and needed some cheering up.” You saw his eyes flick to Matilda for a fraction of a second. Your mother was home somewhere, and the maid would probably report to her as soon as the conversation was through.

“Well, that little bird was right. Let’s go.”

Taehyung picked out a cafe that had the best waffles you had eaten in a long time, that was also packed with people chatting. It was a Saturday, so you weren’t surprised at the noise that surrounded the two of you.

“We should be able to talk here.” He said, leaning forward over the table. “I’m fairly sure your mother had us followed, but they won’t be able to hear us over all this racket.”

Of course she would have you followed, probably to make sure you didn’t screw things up. “Good thinking,” You said with a nod. “I guess I should try to look happy if we’re being watched.”

“Don’t sound so sad, you’re not the only one with paranoid parents. Mine have tapped my phone.” Taehyung sighed.

“You’re kidding.” You whispered, and Taehyung shook his head.

“Nope. You see why I want to get away from them? I’m their own son and yet they trust me about as far as they can throw me--which isn’t far, they both have bad backs.”

“In their defense, you are planning to take several million dollars from them and then disappear. Maybe they have a reason not to trust you.” You couldn’t help the slight laugh that escaped your lips. Taehyung was surprisingly easy to talk to, something you weren’t expecting at all. Part of you still wanted to dislike him, but there wasn’t much to dislike. It was his plan that was going to get both of you out of this mess, and he was being quite professional about it. 

“Shh, they don’t know that!” But Taehyung grinned back as he spoke. “But I’ll admit I’ve done a few things to lose their trust. What about you? Is there some reason your mother has you followed on a breakfast date with your fiance?”

Him saying the words out loud felt strange. Fiance. You were engaged. While the date hadn’t been set for sure, you’d be married in about three months--and not to Hoseok.

“Not really, other than the fact she knows I’m in love with someone else. She still thinks I’m going to ruin it somehow.”

Taehyung nodded slowly. “I suppose you are going to--but not alone. This marriage is going to go down in history books for all the damage it’s going to cause--just not to us.”

“It’s kind of funny, isn’t it?” You mused quietly. “We’re exactly what our parents are worried about, aren’t we?”

“Not quite.” Taehyung replied. “We’re worse.”

Over breakfast, you discussed the plan in more detail. The more you thought about it, the more you felt that your mother wasn’t going to lose her hold on you just by having Hoseok hired by Bangtan--you needed to put a dent in her credibility, as well as her wallet. 

“We have a few options. We could blackmail her, but that’s only a short-term solution.” Taehyung leaned back in his chair as he thought. “I think our best bet is starting a nasty rumor or two.” 

You raised your eyebrows. “How will that help?” 

“We put doubt into peoples minds about how she’s running her business. If it gains enough traction, it’ll be all over the news in a matter of weeks. She’ll spend an insane amount trying to buy silence from the news”

You nodded along with his words. “And what then?” 

“She’ll probably try to redirect attention onto us and our marriage. It’ll help, but won’t cover everything up. With any luck, she’ll sign the company over to your sister once things settle down after we’re married; she won’t want to risk doing it while all eyes are on her every move, but she’ll want to do it soon because the board of directors will likely have lost trust in her. If it works, it’ll take away a huge amount of her power.”

“It’s a long shot.” You said. Taehyung really had been trained from a young age to think like a business man, and it was surprisingly helpful. 

“Do you have any better ideas?” Taehyung asked. 

“Not a single one.” 

“If nothing else, you’ll have a good laugh watching as she scrambled to save face.” Taehyung pointed out. 

“Unless she sues us for defamation.” You countered. 

“We might go to jail anyway.” Taehyung shrugged. “I’m willing to take the risk if you are.” 

After you ate as many waffles as you could, Taehyung brought you to a jewelry store. There, he had you try on ring after ring, telling you that the more official things were, the more seriously you would seem to be taking things.

“Find something you could wear after the divorce, maybe.” Taehyung said in the car. “It’s not like I’m going to want it back, so you might as well like it.”

He then took you to another three stores, until you picked out five of your favorite rings, all entirely different. You realized that you had never given much thought into what kind of engagement ring you wanted, always thinking it matter much more who the person was than the metal on your finger.

“I’ll be back.” Taehyung told the women behind the glass counter when you still couldn’t decide. Really, the ring wasn’t a big deal, but Taehyung was still about to spend a lot of money on one so you didn’t want to pick something you’d regret later.

“Have you talked to Hoseok recently?” Taehyung asked when you were back in his car. You shook your head, looking down at your phone in your lap. You had been hoping to hear something from him, anything from him, but he hadn’t replied to your texts in several days. “He doesn’t like the plan?” Taehyung continued, and you hesitated.

“I haven’t told him about it.” You said honestly. “I’ve been so paranoid that my mother’s listening in on my phone calls through the walls that I wanted to tell him in person. But I haven’t found a way to slip out without being noticed, and he’s not replying to my texts.”

Hoseok always replied to your texts in a timely manner, unless he was mad about something or needed some space to think. Apparently, your attempt at proposing to him had pushed him away, which was the last thing you needed at the moment.

“You could call him now, if you want.” Taehyung offered, and you were surprised you hadn’t thought of it. But you shook your head after thinking about it for a moment.

“If he wanted to talk, he would text me. He just needs some time to think things over, that’s all.” You said, and Taehyung nodded. You hadn’t told him about your marriage proposal, and didn’t really want to. It was embarrassing enough without Taehyung knowing, and it wasn’t like there was anything he could do to fix whatever wedge you had driven between you and Hoseok.

“He’ll come around.” Taehyung said confidently, and you hoped he was right. He had to be. You were doing all of this for him, after all. 

A/N This feels really short but it’s over 2k words long, maybe I’ve just gotten accustomed to writing longer chapters now? Anyway, thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts and feelings about it! <3 <3 <3

[alainawriteswwe]

Pride and Prejudice and Wrestling – Part 2

Characters: Seth Rollins x Reader, Cesaro, Dean Ambrose

Summary: When a superstar Hollywood actress (The Reader), interacts with WWE Superstar Seth Rollins at Monday Night Raw, sparks fly. Can Rollins overcome his pride and convince the reader to take a chance on him when she’s still recovering from a nasty scandal caused by her cheating fiancé?

Warnings: Lots of flirting, angsty longing and maybe some bad words

Tags: @caramara3 @hardcorewwetrash

– Part 2: Now Don’t F*ck It Up

She was as sexy as she looked in her movies. Feisty too. That was a pleasant surprise. And Seth Freakin’ Rollins does not like surprises, unless I am doling them out at the end of a steel chair.

She could give as well as she could take with her cutting words and I liked that in a woman. She was strong and that made our interaction fun. A good adversary, one that is up to your level and causes you to challenge your plans and make better ones, is always hard to find.

It was obvious that she wanted me. She couldn’t hide that despite the fact that she’s a great actress with two Oscars on her mantlepiece. The body never lies. I saw the way she looked at me. The way her teeth scraped that plump bottom lip of hers in longing when she thought I didn’t see her looking.

And now I was looking forward to our next sparring match. There was no doubt in my mind that Sasha was going to convince our guest from tinseltown to hang with us after we left the arena. Most nights after a show, if we weren’t on the road immediately, people went out for a meal or to a club. If I wanted to be social, I went to a club on my own for a drink. If I was lucky, maybe I would not come back to my hotel room alone. But most nights it was going out to dinner with Cesaro or straight to my room to tweak my performance for the show and plot how I could be even better tomorrow.

But tonight, I was going out with the usual crew. Karaoke was the contest, bragging rights were on the line and it would be my pleasure to dish out some stinging comebacks to our Princess. Honestly, I couldn’t wait. But first, I had a show to do.

Monday night Raw started thirty minutes ago and the gorilla was a hive of people going to and fro. Promos and backstage segments were being filmed, superstars were being called for their turn in the squared circle. Professionals were working hard to give the WWE universe the best show possible.

It was one of the reasons I loved being here. Why I fought so hard and climbed over every obstacle to get to the main roster. It was all about being in that ring, man. Hearing the roar of the crowd and giving them everything you had. The chance to show your talent against the best in your field and to climb for that next championship.

Everyone thinks that because matches are, hmm, let’s say pre-determined, that putting a belt round your waist doesn’t mean much. That’s a lie. I scrap every night at house shows trying to show the people upstairs that the championship should be on me. That I can carry this company. And while I might not have a belt to sling over my shoulder right now, with a little focus, some great promos and a interesting angle, I know it is just a matter of time before I will be back in the title hunt. I just have to make sure I am ready. No distractions.

My Hollywood Princess, well, she is definitely a distraction. But a temporary one. Tomorrow, I will be leaving Miami for home, and little miss feisty will be going back to Hollywood to have people fawn over her. Oddly, the thought wasn’t as pleasing as I first thought it would be.

“Have you seen her?” Cesaro asked as he handed me a bottle of water backstage so I could wet my hair.

“Who?”

“You know. Our guest tonight. She is gorgeous. Much tinier in person than she appears on screen.”

“Man, you do know the movie screen makes her much bigger.” Cesaro rolled his eyes and sipped his pre-match pressed juice.

“Besides, I didn’t notice her that much.” I took the cap off the water, letting it fall down the back of my hair in a controlled fashion. I always took care to scrunch the ends with my hand to keep water flying everywhere like I was a dog coming out a bath.

“Don’t lie to me, Rollins. Everyone backstage is buzzing about your meeting with her earlier tonight.” The Swiss Cyborg paused. A grin filling his handsomely chiseled face. “Besides, I know your secret.”

I put the water bottle down. Daring my friend with a look that said he shouldn’t go further with this.

“You have a crush on her.” I tried to put my hand up in protest but Cesaro swatted it away.

“You can’t hide it from me Rollins. You always watch her movies if they are available on long haul flights, whether its some blockbuster space saga or romantic comedy or a historical drama. You talk about how great a actress she is all the time. You also read that scandal about her with great interest.”

I narrowed my eyes. Cesaro is fantastic, a great friend on the road but he could also be a little too accurate with his observations. He always had a opinion, Swiss neutrality be damned.

I put my hands on my hips in a defensive stance. “Enough about the scandal. I only paid attention because she was treated like crap and she didn’t deserve it.”

Cesaro considered this, then continued. “Ahh, protective.” He patted me on the shoulder. “Just make sure I get my wedding invite. I will need a custom suit made and I need to give my tailor in Milan advanced notice.”

Damn. Now Cesaro was teasing me. A good natured ribbing but still. I didn’t like it. Why was he pushing with this?

I shrugged. “It’s not like that. I just,” I sighed. “I know what its like to have your name, your reputation dragged in public.”

“Well maybe you could console her before you leave for Iowa and its beckoning cows. Give her advice.”

“I don’t have any good advice.”I hung my head. “I caused my scandals. She didn’t.”

I shuddered internally, like I do whenever I think about that time. The initial sex scandal almost ended my career as well as my engagement, but Hunter had been understanding while still being irate. I had caused the company embarrassment. Bad publicity. I had ruined the official website’s social media stream with my “leaked” nudes.

The dressing down was severe and in that one chilling moment, I saw my lifelong dream floating away. No, not floating. I was throwing it away. For a woman. Twelve years of hard work, injuries, and achievement put at risk over a beautiful girl.

Hunter chalked it up to being on the road. Being lonely and making poor decisions at midnight when inhibitions are low and consequences seem impossible.

But there were no excuses. I had been wrong. I cheated. I also thought I was in love. That the risks were worth it. But I just got burned. And I burned people I cared about. My now ex-fiancee, my mom. Even my dog Kevin who was now living between two homes. Losing him in the “divorce” was honestly the hardest.

No. Not true. Nothing was worse than having to explain this kind of scandal to the people you care about. To tell your mom who loves you dearly that this is not a clipping from a newspaper that she wants to put in the scrapbooks she has had of you since you were a kid.

“What are you guys talking about?”

I turned and saw her there. My Hollywood Princess. And now I suddenly realized why Cesaro asked if I had seen her.

To say she was gorgeous standing there in front of me was a understatement. She was wearing her outfit for our segment. It was my shirt. My Kingslayer shirt. Modified to make it as sexy as possible. The fitted t-shirt was now cropped to show off her extremely toned abs. It stretched teasingly across her breasts and fell off one shoulder which just made me want to touch her. How was it possible for her to make shoulders sexy?

She paired that with black leather leggings that seemed poured on to her long legs and a pair of silver high heeled sandals. Her wavy shoulder length hair was now super straight and all sleek and shiny. I wanted to grab it in my hands and pull her head back for a deep kiss. The makeup ladies had given her a real rock n roll look with her eye makeup. Smoky eyes, Sasha told me it was called once.

Suddenly I wanted to pull our guest into a private locker room and indulge in this thing simmering between us. Her wearing my shirt did something to me. Proved that somehow the universe was saying she was mine. I could feel my body begin to respond to her. Oh no, no, no. Not now. I needed to be professional now and I cannot go out to the ring with a hard on. Think of something, anything but her. Who won the main event of Mania in 1993, 2000, 2005, 2008, 2010.

Cesaro spoke up. “Are you ready to be a WWE Superstar?,” he asked her.

“Sure. If Seth can do it then anyone can.” She looked at me with the smuggest grin. Is that what I looked like when I did it?

Cesaro doubled over in laughter. “I like you,” he said to her between deep guffaws.

Then he slapped me on the back. “You’ve met your match, Rollins. It’s about time.”

“Yeah. Yeah.”

I turned to look at her one last time before she went through the curtain. She looked excited, but also anxious, and nervous. I wanted to give her a hug. Tell her to take a deep breath and enjoy it because it will be over in a blink of an eye.

Then her music hit. The generic music for all guests on Raw. I gently grabbed her shoulders, pushing her through the curtain. “Don’t f*ck it up, Princess.” Then she was gone.

—

I could kill him. But he had literally given me the push I needed. When the music hit, I panicked. I was going out there to be embraced or booed by the WWE universe. The moment I felt Seth’s strong hands embrace me and push me towards the curtain, I knew I had to buck up. Put on the mask of confidence I had developed as a actress.

The music was generic but the pop from the crowd was unexpected. There was loud cheering, whoops. I made my way down the ramp, strutting and waving at the crowd as images of me from my latest movie appeared on the screens flanking me on either side.

I approached the ring, being careful as I ducked under the ropes with my heels and then I was being interviewed on Miz TV. The segment went well. Miz and I got into it as he got upset that I did not consider him a true Hollywood A-lister. Then he disparaged my Seth shirt saying it was obvious I had poor taste if I was a fan of the Kingslayer.

Hit Seth’s music to a huge pop. He came down the ramp like he owned the place and strutted into the ring, taking The Miz down in a verbally blistering promo. I felt proud of him as he came to my aid, even if it was only in service of this feud.

When the Miz verbally dealt me a low blow with a reference to my recent scandal, Seth stepped forward to punch him but not before I could get there first, landing a punch with my fist on the A-lister’s perfectly square jaw. The Miz played it for all it was worth and it was suddenly a brawl as the Miz and his Miztourage started wailing on Seth while I got in a shouting match with Maryse.

And then Dean’s music hit and the arena erupted. He came out to support Seth and they started to wail on The Miz and his cronies, even though the numbers were not in their favor.

Maryse and I slid out of the ring, watching the fight with awe. Then, after the dust settled, The Miz challenged Seth and Dean to a handicap match for later in the show.

But that didn’t stop me taunting Maryse and her husband from the apron, which caused Seth to slide out the ring and sling me over his shoulder. He carried me up the ramp, his arms securing me by the back of my knees while I continued yelling at Maryse and The Miz. Dean followed behind us, taunting them as well.

When we got back through the curtain, Seth did not put me down. He looked at me from over his shoulder. “You know what, I think I enjoy throwing you over my shoulder and carrying you off.”

I just sighed. Could he see my annoyance when I was literally upside down? “Caveman instincts kicking in, huh.”

He gave that little hyena like cackle he was infamous for. “Something like that.” He paused a second. “You know, you did good out there, man.”

“Why do you say that? You’re always calling me, man.”

He shrugged his shoulders even though he was still holding me. “I don’t know. It’s just an expression I use.”

Even though he could not see it, I threw my bottom lip out in a pout. “Well I am not a man.”

“That is definitely true from where I am standing.”

He swatted my butt lightly with his hand. I should have been offended but secretly, well, I really liked it. What would it be like for him to continue doing that? A good and proper spanking with his large hands continually making contact with my ass?

I was going to interject, to complain about his manhandling of me, especially in a space that anyone could walk by, but he cut in.

“You are definitely not a man. You’re a Hollywood Princess. All spoiled and pampered. I bet you have two assistants who do your every bidding. They fetch you lattes, and listen to your every command.”

“Put me down!” I rained my fists on his back.

He chuckled. “As you wish Princess. I am sorry you have to be around such a uncouth servant.”

Seth began to put me on my feet, letting me slide slowly down the front of his body until I was staring up at him. I was kinda bereft that he had put me down even though I asked for it. I felt, well, secure in his arms all high in the air. It was a feeling I had not felt since childhood.

I looked up at him. He looked dangerous. His hair all wild, and wet, a wayward strand stuck to his cheek. His eyes were looking at my lips like they were the best temptation in the world. I wanted to lean up. To have him meet me half way by leaning down and kissing me. I licked my lips in anticipation greedily. I felt my chest rise and fall. My nipples tighten. My core heated, begging me to give it what it desired. Seth.

My hands were still on his chest. I was jealous he was still wearing his Burn It Down t-shirt. I wanted to feel him with no barrier between his skin and my hands. I knew what he would be like underneath that shirt. Hard muscles and sculpted abs that I could explore for hours with my fingers, my mouth and my tongue before dipping a bit lower.

I closed my eyes and parted my lips in anticipation of a kiss when Dean blew the moment by coming through the curtain. I stepped away from Seth who was still looking at me intently with soft brown eyes.

“Wow! That was great.” Dean cracked his knuckles and stretched his neck. Can’t wait for later.” He slapped Seth on the back. “We will give ‘em all a great match tonight.”

Then Dean looked at me. “You did great kid. A real natural out there. I wonder if you could actually wrestle, given the chance?”

I blushed at that. Me, wrestling with proper theme music, gimmick and outfits. Me as a “diva” cutting promos and pulling submission holds on Alexa Bliss for the belt. How wild would that be? But it would also be an insult to those women and all their hard work if I just rolled up one day and started wrestling for the hell of it.

“Oh I like the fight scenes in my movies, learning the fight choreography and stuff but that’s way different than being in a ring. I would worry I’d hurt someone.”

I looked at Seth who considered my words before speaking in a huff. “You should also be scared of getting hurt yourself.”

He grabbed a water bottle and set off to the back where a curtained area had been cordoned off for interviews. “Let’s go, Deano. We’ve got a promo to shoot with your wife.”

And then they were off. But I watched the interview and backstage vignette they filmed from a distance. It was funny and poignant as Dean still tried to confess to Seth that he didn’t care about him despite his actions to always have his back. That they were no longer brothers to the bone as Booker T called them.

The puppy dog look Seth gave the camera when he was rejected by Dean squeezed my heart even though I knew it was all an act for the cameras. I still wanted to go to him and make it better with a kiss or two or twenty. But like Dean, I was also guarding my heart from the Kingslayer.

—

[aeroknot]

ok! I rewatched earp-ep 2x10 when I was less deliriously exhausted and instead just delirious from excitement

reactions & some screencaps under the cut, including but not limited to such gems as.......

“…k I know this is a really sad moment but dolls’ face when waverly admits she cheated is Legendary”

& “this wayhaught scene literally invented romantic angst” 

& “so much 'our sister slash daughter waverly has just implicated you, my husband, in an omission slash betrayal equivocal to a punishment worse than death by icebox’ “

& ““I’m gonna milk that bitch like a snake” is incontestably my favorite line a protagonist has said about their promise of retribution against the antagonist” :

WAVERLY DIDN’T COME TO LOSE EITHER WITCH

“I’m talking biblical….. Armageddon….season 19 of America’s next top model combined” I am Deceased

I AM IN LOVE. MY CHILD. MY IDOL. MY SUNSHINE.

I’m going to find you some licorice if it kills me. I love that she calls them by brand and he just calls them licorice and I don’t know why I love it

…k I know this is a really sad moment but dolls’ face when waverly admits she cheated is Legendary:

ummmmm total parent vibes from wyndolls in the whole ‘rosita’s a revenant’ reveal. so much eye contact talking. so much “ok…. Laterrr” 😂 so much 'our sister slash daughter waverly has just implicated you, my husband, in an omission slash betrayal equivocal to a punishment worse than death by icebox’

 haaha calamity Jane BTW Y'ALL I JUST LEARNED one of the old movies from the 50s called calamity jane was VERY LESBIAN CODED AND I’M SCREAMING AT EMILY ANDRAS LIKE. FUCK. could your attention to detail be any more on my own wavelength woman?!?? I fucking love that kinda world-building shit. I fucking DO that kinda shit!!!! IDOL!!? (someone else might have already made this connection and shared this amongst the earpers/wayhaught shippers but I’m just still… Wow)

this wayhaught scene literally invented romantic angst

there is SO MUCH blue and orange this episode… my Broncos eyes are tingling

“komodos are really cool” I love everything you choose to be waverly earp (p.s. next time you watch this treat yourself to dolls’ face in the background while they talk about komodos. headcanon: wynonna adds Komodo to her repertoire of heckling nicknames for dolls)

DAMN IT SENSITIVITY TRAINING Xavier and Wynonna smacking Jeremy is…Perfect. Great tandem scolding. I am so amused

anyone else find Jeremey’s “no you’re human” a little suspect? like… the *you’re* part just seems so emphatic… as if he’s making a distinction between himself and her?! it could just be more of the 'waves might be half revenant’ plot undertones, but it could also be…? Jeremy is not just human either?

Dominique and the mug…. Dominique. WAVERLY. Jeremy!!!

I could barely understand him and had to turn on subtitles…Jeremy says “as gross as that sounds” and dolls says “man I’ve seen you eat; I don’t get grossed out” could be nothing, innocuous. could be…??? jeremy is a gross literal monster while eating????

“I’m gonna milk that bitch like a snake” is incontestably my favorite line a protagonist has said about their promise of retribution against the antagonist

I am so glad Bobo’s back. I felt really really cheated and empty when he was gone. I had sworn to myself there was way more potential for his impact on the story and I was Right and I am So Glad they saw it that way too

what’s a 3 of diamonds mean fuck I should have paid more attention during the 263 times my grandma tried to teach me card games

Rosie you are good and precious and I am heartbroken by your situation–and you and waverly and this possibly half-revenant baby are the reasons why I’m praying (and theorizing) there’s a loophole in the curse that allows for your salvation

the return of snarky dolls in a hat. God 💦. this reminds me a customer yesterday was talking about memory problems and I said “oh boy I can relate, it’s gotten so bad for me lately” and I’m fully convinced it’s Depression Brain but that’s not something you say to customers so I was coming up with some other reason and then she interjects with “oh but you’re too young for that! you know what it might mean!! you might be pregnant !!” and I had to restrain myself from also revealing too much and not saying “unless you can get pregnant from watching a hot actor play a hot sexy dragon man, that ain’t it” HAH

I bark out harsh, loud laughter every time Xavier Dolls says “bummer”

dolls being protective of the Earp heir in a cap while he falters almost imperceptibly as it’s revealed he was also kidnapped is my heart’s angst aesthetic

I want shae’s dress. like so bad. also kinda wish my name was shae. (hmm… maybe that’s gonna be stored in the frivolous pseudonym bank in my head?) I had a regular play date with a shae when I was very young, like right before kindergarten. she had a sister named chanel and her house was huge because her family was very rich.

NEDLEY! WOW! we got no seals here [lists all hunting game in the area] the fuck! KINKY ARE YOU SURE YOU’RE NOT THE REAL MERCEDES I knew you were sassy and an officer but I didn’t know you were Officer Sass of Sassy Town

I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE WE WENT FROM DEPUTY MARSHAL “COLLATERAL DAMAGE TO WIN THE WAR” TO XAVIER “YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THE WOMAN YOU LOVE SO WHY NOT BREAK THE THIRD SEAL” DOLLS

dolls and waverly platonic sibling-ish love and affection 😩😭😍 👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯

I love doc and I want nonna happy but also…. Ugh I am biased and I still get nervous with their chemistry 😅

WYNONNA!! Shit!! MAMA CAME TO PLAY INDEED

hmmm!! Jeremy’s somewhat threatening tone… “oh yeah we *will* talk about it wynonna…” I’m so intrigued. and I bet Jeremy loves Dolls and Rosita best so this experimenting on them shit probably hurt extra hard

LOOK AT MY ROUND DAUGHTER WHOM I BIRTHED WHO IS ABOUT TO BIRTH HER OWN PROGENY LOOKIT THE PEPPY IN HER STEPPY A PRECIOUS PUNCHING SECRET-AGENT-DONUT

WYNONNA an actual ANGEL

LORT her hair and her humongous fur collar and her leadership and her protectiveness and her exuberance and her standoffish beauty and just… SHE *IS* A MOUNTAIN LION

fuck I wish it had been Mattie fuck off Gretta this is so stressful I wasn’t stressed throughout the whole episode and now I’m just ?????????

DOC I’M SO SO SO SORRY UGHHHHH I AM IN ACTUAL PAIN FOR YOU HOLY SHIT

dolls’ shirt changed too not just waverly’s outfit – I knew something had shifted with his scene but didn’t realize it was the shirt

what the fuck is that stupid metal plate?! is it like… a seal to an anti-demon??? MegaAngel3000 unleashed to fight MegaDemon3000?

I wonder if Wynonna’s in a mystical Purgatory within the city of Purgatory… bc that level of Meta just seems completely up mine and Emily’s alleys

I also feel like Bobo’s gonna come back into play next episode, maybe even be where Wynonna is???

I also hope Waverly saying to dolls “I’ll never forget this” is gonna be foreshadowing to her somehow remembering her dolls and her sister

laksjdlkfa;klsdfk falskdjflaksd f hOMG!?!?

[coffeecupandteatime]

Obscure Review #2

It’s time to spork fics and ruin lives. We have a new member in the party joining us for the one of you who may care. I’m Coffee. The new guy is called Jagerbomb (All his text is bolded). He’s an asshole. Just like the rest of us.

Hello! I smell incoming horseshiiiiit

Hello again, I’m Tea.

As usual, we will be incredibly offensive. Don’t take it too personally.

I entered the boat that was going to take me home with Emily.

And already, I’m lost. There’s this thing called establishing the scene,

Off to a fantastic start. Why don’t we just ignore process and jump right in?

Shouldn’t it be Emily and I? We in Peru still or in the US?

So many unnecessary prepositions… And we just started.

The people working on the ship got our luggage that we left outside.

You’ve never been on a regular passenger boat before, have you?

I don’t see how this contributes to plot or in fact anything.

I mean you’ve been on this trip how many times?

I went down the hall to find Angel, Emily following me. As I found the door I knew would be his room until we got home.

How did you know? Can you please stop with the all-knowing character narrator shtick?

I open the door to see Angel sitting on the floor, playing Black Ops 2 with his heavy metal music blasting through his headphones.

Ah, I see we haven’t completely forgotten about MC’s favorite punching bag. For a second, I thought she might have left him behind.

From the way she’s writing, she might as well have, but then who would give her any ounce of attention?

Poor kid, sister must be on an everlasting PMS.

I walk over towards him and yank his headphones off his head. He turns around (COMMA) startled.

Cos that’s not a bitch move at all. And you called him a hell spawn. Why would she immediately jump to yanking the headphones off his head?You care about your brother how much again?

This just makes you look more like a bitch. Yanking headphones like that could break them (And I’m sure their expensive considering your mother’s unexplained wealth).

" What the hell?!"

Indeed.

This is the most realistic reaction ever. *sarcasm*

Excellent dialogue.

A+

He turns back to the game only to find himself surrounded by zombies with 0 (zero) bullets. " You made me lose! I was about to get to level 25. That would have been a new record since I've only been playing for like, 30 minutes!"

Have you played before? I’ve never heard of someone reaching that level so fast. I smell aimbot. Also, how does this forward plot? We don’t care what game he’s playing.

The amount of filler text is atrocious. Literally nothing is happening. Why hasn’t the plot moved forward?

I smile in victory. Then I frown. " Mind telling me why your eye looks like it's getting a bruise?" I touched his eye and he winced in pain. I sigh.

So expressive, also nice detective skills. I’m surprised you show that much care.

This dialogue is going to give me an aneurysm

Yes, lets just touch the bruise and make it worse.

Poke. Poke.

" Mom was so happy when she found out you haven't gotten in any fights and somehow you managed to screw it all up on the last day before Winter Break. She told me she was going to get you something as a reward."

More filler. Also, why would she tell YOU only? I’m sure telling him directly would’ve worked better.

Glad to see you have your priorities straight. He’s hurt and all you can think about is how upset mommy is going to be.

Well shes’s gotta have something to focus on.

“I’m mommy angel, and you’re just the spawn of Satan.”

" It wasn't suppose to bruise so quickly." He said under his breath. Emily walks over and crouches down to inspect his eye. He starts blusing

Ah, the elusive verb ‘blusing’.

Blusing sounds like a fancy burp.

Or a fairy sneeze.

Or a unicorn fart.

Or a fancy cat puking.

but she doesn't since she's worried.

Good job Friend #1. Your ability to care for a human being has reached the level of staring at it until it feels better.

Yep, because staring is the best cure dontcha know?

She doesn’t WHAT! Notice!? Cos I’ve noticed alot of horsehit in the first minute of reading.

" It could use some ice. It will slow down the swelling. You should stop getting in to (into) fights. What did you do to provoke the guy?" she asked. Angel rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

The only thing I can think of right now is Emily staring blankly at him, expressionless at eye level and saying all of this in a monotone.

She isn’t from Twilight dammit. But, at least Bella and her love got married.

At least Bella had some level of emotion and yes Emily, let’s just assume it’s Angels fault, great detective skills hon.

I say, what an analysis Detective Friend #1

I think she just likes to assume Angel’s at fault for everything.

It’s always Angel’s fault.

Cos he’s the son of Satan.

" Maybe I said I caught his girlfriend making out with one of the guys he hangs out with and they looked like they were enjoying it. They were even using tongue and I told him her tongue looked really nice and wet. Then he punched me and I think I sprained his arm. I don't know. The teacher separated us before I could do any real damage."

Just say the girlfriend is cheating, no one checks out a person’s tongue. Unless he’s got some freaky tongue fetish that we don’t know about.

Well telling another guy his girl’s TONGUE looks nice and wet (Ugh, the cringe) is generally a bad thing. Why not be a good person and just tell him you saw his girl cheating?

WHY DO WE NEED TO KNOW THIS?

COS WE LOVE FILLER, COFFEE!

" I thought your school was an only boys school." I stated.

Right, because you for some reason care enough to know about his school, but he sneezes the wrong way -and so help you, God- he deserves punishment.

Blunt the knives and bend the forks, we have a contradiction of character.

Why blunt the knives? I thought that’s how she punished him. Also surprised we didn’t get a mini story about this apparent fight. I guess she DOESN’T know all guys!

" It is but his girlfriend comes to our school on Fridays to make out with him. She usually comes in around lunch break and they skip the rest of classes to be in the bathroom. I walked in on them and she had her shirt off. I walked right out after that and I held it in for the rest of the day. But the only good thing about that was I got to see a hot girl with her shirt off."

What the hell. How did you write this with a straight face?

What can I even say to this? Oh right! WHAT THE FUCK!? Why are you mentioning this? Is it’ plot related? Also: Angel staring at a girl’s chest and is the worst thing he’s done, still not enough to be called demon spawn.

She’s playing off the stereotypical male. All they want is sex and to see women shirtless.

Gotta see them titties though.

That’s my line.

I could tell Emily was jealous. She was probably thinking of something she could do to make him think she was hotter.

OH MY SWEET JESUS! Now THIS does NOT need to be said or even allowed, they are FIFTEEN!

And this is all Friend #1 amounts to.

That line makes me think of one particular Goddess.

Let’s just lower her some more. Yep A+ writing skills.

" You're such a pervert Angel."

Just because he said that once it automatically makes him a pervert. You have to make it show that he’s perverted, not just state it.  

And people thought I was bad.

You are.

I have standards. I don’t stare at people’s partners.

" It probably would have been better if she didn't have her bra on."

TAKE THE HINT, BOY. DOES THE TERM SELF-PRESERVATION MEAN NOTHING?!

THAT’S NOT HOW YOU SURVIVE A WOMAN’S WRATH DUMBASS!

Should I call the coroner? You, my friend are digging your own grave.

"I need to take a shower. See you guys later." Emily walked out of Angel's room after that.

Now, does she need to actually shower, or cry to herself because her precious ‘boo’ saw another girl’s tits? I’m going with the latter.

Right, announce to the declared pervert that you, a female, are going to wash.

The plot of this story is less clear than an episode of Brickleberry.

Brickleberry is a straight line compared to this shit.

"Well, I'm going to see if anyone on the ship has some Hot Cheetos." I wasn't going to actually do that. I was going to take a quick nap but if I told Angel that he would not let me sleep to get revenge for his stupid game. I walked to the other side of the hall and opened the room that was mine.

I’m sure your ‘pervert’ of a brother is busy peeping on poorly developed Friend #1

Again, gotta see them titties though.

And dat ass.

We have no class here. Just offensive humor and asshattery.

Could just say “my room”, not the “room that was mine”. It sounds like you’re trying too hard to fill the spaces with prose.

A bed with a purple comforter greeted me. I locked the door behind me and set my alarm on my phone to wake me up in 30 minutes before I jumped on the bed. It was so soft and warm. (COMMA DAMMIT) And the sound of the waves splashing against the ship is so relaxing. My last thought before I went to sleep was, 'Something is going to happen when we get home. I just hope it isn't bad.'

I wasn’t aware bed comforters were sentient enough to greet. Also, “AND” DOES NOT START A SENTENCE.

You could just say a big, soft bed instead of breaking it up into little sentences.

WHERE IS THE RELEVANCE!? Also, I’m surprise you avoided saying “The waves sounded like they were calling me”. Also, if you locked the door, why would you be worried about telling him you wanted to sleep? (ง •̀_•́)ง I promptly flip this shitshow off.

I woke up to the sound of banging on my door. I checked my phone to see I still had 3 minutes before the alarm would go off. I groaned and got up from my comfortable spot on my bed and went to open my door. On the other side was Emily. She was in her bra and panties only.

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU JUST STANDING OUT THERE?!?!

AT LEAST PUT ON A ROBE, COME ON, YOU’RE FIFTEEN! HAVE SOME DECENCY IN HALLWAYS!

(ง •̀_•́)ง FIFTEEN DAMMIT! FIFTEEN! Is the author an angsty preteen?

I dunno. Look on the bright side at least she isn’t wandering around in lingerie.

Lord knows...

Part of me feels murderous, the other wants a drink. BRING ME THE GIN!

"What the hell are you doing in the hallway with only that?" she ignored me and grabbed me and took me to her room which was right next to mine.

PLOT TWIST. Friend #1 reveals dramatically that she didn’t like the punching bag. She liked the MC.

I’m half expecting that to be honest.

Please tell me this ain’t the start of a poorly done lemon?

When we entered her room, her bed was filled with a bunch of clothes that seemed to be a bit too revealing. I was surprised at all the clothes she had taken out of her bag.

This surprises you beeecause..? Are we sure she’s fifteen? I know I didn’t have any revealing clothes at that age, let alone walked a hallway  in only panties and a bra.

This scene is every pedo’s dream.

20 Minutes Later

Timeskipping goes in the actual story, not it’s own line.

What were you doing in those twenty minutes exactly? Were you watching paint dry? Give us some indication of what’s happening!

"How do I look?" Emily posed for me to see the outfit she was wearing that she hoped would seduce Angel.

She’s fifteen, what fifteen year old uses the word seduce? Hoping to bang maybe but not seduce.

I’d be VERY surprised if her mother isn’t Aphrodite.

I looked up from my phone with what I hope was a bored expression. I looked at Emily's outfit.

I get the feeling MC has a thing for Friend #1. So what exactly does Friend #1 look like? You just glossed over her.

I’m sure Angel’s more interested in his aimbot on Zombies.

 If it’s as revealing as I think it is, then those titties are everywhere.

Keep in mind, this is a fifteen year old.

(ง •̀_•́)ง Stop the Jailbaiting! I need a drink. NOW!

I gestured for Emily to turn around. Then I observed her from behind before stand up and walking to the pile of clothes we had been through and pulled out a pair of booty shorts.

JAILBAIT DAMMIT!

Booty booty butt cheeks.

Why does she need to fucking SEDUCE him!?

She’s hoping to lucky, that’s why.

Are we SURE she loves him? Cos right now it’s sounding more like she wants the D.

"If you're going to wear a bikini to dinner at least wear something over your bottom part." Then a thought came in my mind.

Oh, really? That’s your master plan. Wear a swimsuit to dinner. Yes, definitely gonna get some.

I hope this is just a dinner for you three. Also! WHERE IS THE ADULT SUPERVISION!

I NEED AN ADULT.

You are an adult.

WE’RE ALL ADULTS!

"I'm going to tell Angel to get his swimming shorts ready so we can all go to the pool on the deck. Then when dinner is over, after Angel comes back in his swimming shorts take off your shorts and sweater in slow motion while he's watching your every move."

What sort of plan is that? Is he just that goddamn perverted? Also, are you on a fucking cruise ship or something?!

Okay, seriously? What is the point of adding unneeded teenage sexual tension? Its awful to read and adds nothing to the plot. 

You know, I’d actually leave this poor excuse of a bet alone if it weren’t for the fact it’s JAILBAIT! Also how do you know he’ll still have his shorts on after?

She smirked evilly and I grinned.

Glad to see that Friend #1 still can’t think for herself.

Bitchy Sister appears to enjoy harassing her brother by scheming with “friends”. 

I can just imagine her being like a android, saying all of this in a monotone voice with mechanical beeps and boops in between all while staring blankly into the distance.

So she’s Kristen Stewart? No emotion in her speech.

"Wear your swimming suit under your clothes and then take the clothes off when he's gone so when he comes back you're already in the water and he won't feel uncomfortable watching me strip off my clothes with his sister."

YOU JUST CALLED ANGEL A PERVERT EARLIER!

HAVEN’T YOU SAID IT ENOUGH TIMES?!

Yes, this was my master plan to get Angel to notice Emily's curves and to admit his love towards her.

I believe you mean lust.

I believe you’re going to give Angel more reason to be a ‘Hellspawn’. I bet you if those two do bang, Katherine's going to BLAME Angel for ‘ruining’ her friend.

Actually it’s going to be blaming her brother because he got some while she didn’t.

And then it will all be over with and Emily will stop bugging me about how much she wants to be with Angel. And believe me I don't want to hear my best friend tell me about how she wishes she could grab my brother and have a make-out session with him and how she wishes he would hold her and how his touches would send her shivers and how he would touch her gently and how he would do whatever he wanted with her.

I’m going to vomit. (ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง

The way this is written makes me think we’re dealing with a sex driven teen who either lacks imagination or has never had sex.

Take it from an expert. USE PROPER AGES YOU DEGENERATE!

Yeah, that's when I realized when her crush was becoming more of an obsession.

Because Friend #1 amounts to nothing more.

If by that you mean she just wants to bang him then yes.

Because she’s a horny teen girl. Yet you bitch about your brother’s perverseness.

Then I had to get them together so she wouldn't tell me those things about my brother and just do that with him. Cause believe me, no sister wants to hear sexual things about her brother.

You do realize you’d end up hearing them go at it and hear all the details during girl talk right? You are in the room across from your brother after all.

But that was what you were narrating before!

JESUS H. CHRIST!

And if this plan backfires, I'm going to spend all night up until I think of a decent one. And I'm kind of desperate to get Emily to shut up about my brother.

 So if I have to send her naked to my brother's room to get them together, I'll do it in a blink of an eye. I'm just thankful that I'll be arriving home in 2 (two. SPELL IT OUT!) days.

…..Do I HAVE to say something here?

I do not recommend it, but she doesn’t sound so desperate if her master plan is to send Friend #1 (*beep boop*) out in a swimsuit.

Why is she just now helping her friend out?

Then I have more of a chance of getting away from Emily in case this backfires, cause there's not many things that keep you busy on a ship and let you avoid your friend so she won't bug you about your brother being hot.

I’m pretty sure the punching bag isn’t my brother.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIP!?!?!

MC’s mother most likely bought with money she pulled out of her ass.

FUCK YOUR PLANS!

Okay,

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-

WHY THE FUCK DID YOU START A SENTENCE WITH OKAY?!

I’m not even wasting another werewolf meme on this shit show. They don’t deserve their grace.

I'm out in the hall and walking towards Angel's door. A few more meters and then this might all be over. I open the door quietly in case I startle him and make him lose and then he'll be angry at me and won't agree to go to the pool with me and Emily. He's on the computer.

You didn’t care before about startling, making him angry or his objecting to your plans  so why would you care now?

"Angel, do you want to come to the pool with me and Angel?"

“Angel go to the the pool with Angel.” is there an Angel clone walking around? Also its Angel and I, not me and Angel.

Is there a THIRD sibling with the same name? Did Emily change her name to Angel to sound more like a third rate hooker?

Friend #1 was demoted to Punchingbag #2

I hate MC. Seriously, my old OC had better class. THAT was a shit show.

We shall spork him another day. Fuhuhuhuhu~

He turned to me and gave me a look that said, 'Since when do you invite me to do things with you and Emily?'

Never obviously.

That should have been immediately suspicious.

I’m currently drinking a bottle of Fireball. This story is THAT fucking bad.

But his reply made my heart leap out of excitement, "Sure."

Why would your heart leap? Shouldn’t it be Emily’s?

Friend #1 has been further demoted to MC’s foil.

Permission to barf at the accidental twincest?

Oh, that’s right. MC is talking...

Go right ahead.

-Intense vomiting-

"Get your swimming shorts ready." When I walked out of his room I did a pre-victory dance.

You wrote it out like you’re about to get some instead of Friend #1. 

I can smell the hormones and self-insert.

After Dinner

PUT IT IN A SENTENCE!

YOU LIKE FILLER SO GODDAMN MUCH! WHY CAN'T YOUR LAZY ASS WRITE ONE GODDAMN SENTENCE.

"Okay, it's time to put this pan into action!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Huh, where’d the pan come from?

I thought Pan faded away and got replaced by Grover :^)

It’s the pan I’m going to beat her with.

Don’t insult the plan.

*pan

I quickly took off my clothes to expose my black bikini.

NO ONE CARES!

(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง(ง •̀_•́)ง

Angel just went back to his room to change. It will probably be 5 minutes until he returns. I already had one of the ship attendants clean Emily's room so she can make-out with Angel.

That’s… An oddly specific request.Can’t imagine how that conversation went down.

That attendant is also probably installing cameras to watch them.

Well..this just got weird.

I personally put the candles in there and instructed a random person cleaning the hall to light them after they were finished cleaning the hall. And then I had the chef prepare chocolate filled strawberries.

Chocolate filled?

Why the fuck not? She can have anyone do anything on this cruise-not-cruise-ship. Dolla dolla bills, yo. 

GOD DAMMIT! IT’S COVERED! NOT FILLED!

But there is such a thing.

So if anything gets screwed up, it will probably be emi;y's fault.

Punching Bag #2 got demoted to Failure.

WOW. Even further demoted to emi;y.

Toss her under the ship.

Toss who? MC or Failure?

Throw both overboard. I’m done!

"Emily don't be nervous. If you don't screw this up, Angel will make-out with you on your bed."

How is this incentive to go along with your plan?

HOLY SHIT. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

WHY ARE YOU WHORING HER OUT DAMMIT! WHAT IS THE PLOT!? I LITERALLY SPIT MY WHISKEY OUT!

Emily wasn't as nervous after I told her that.

You’re right. She was probably more nervous.

You just straight up told her not to fuck up or your brother won’t fuck her up.

I quickly got in the pool and waited for Angel. I can hear him. He's close. Once he was in front of Emily he stood there.

Filler.

STOP! (ง •̀_•́)ง

You really like that emoticon.

It fits, doesn't it?

" Why aren't you in your bathing suit?" She glanced at me before she started to take off her sweater in slow motion. He watched her and he had his mouth so open, I never thought it was possible to have it open that wide. As she proceed to her booty shorts I could see his eyes were hungry to see more of her skin. 'It's working!'

Hungry to see more of her skin? What kind of messed up wording for foreplay is this?

I’m surprised you know what foreplay is, Tea.

His mouth is so wide because he’s wondering why Emily’s being so forward after so fuckign LONG DAMMIT!

He’s probably appalled that his alpha bitch sister is watching.

I feel the FBI breathing down our backs. As well as Posidemort.

*gigglesnort*

‘I watch as Emily reaches down to Angel’s-’ And let’s just hang ourselves now.

I’ll tie the nooses.

I’ll kick the stools.

I’ll write the suicide notes.

TRIGGERED!

When she was finished she jumped in the water splashing Angel. As her head popped

YES!

out from underwater she turned to Angel.

DAMN IT!

Well shit, I was hoping we’d get lucky there.

I hear the police sirens. Wait that’s the ambulance. 

"Aren't you going to join us?" He quickly recovered and jumped in. After that we played for a while until we got tired. But I know my plan worked because I heard him ask her if they could talk.

‘I’m sorry, but Angel.exe has stopped working.’

Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again?

Is it plugged in?

I sense a windows 10 Update. We’ll be back in about… Five hours.

I had to stop from doing another victory dance. After I went to my room. And in the morning, at breakfast they wouldn't stop staring at each other. Everything was perfect.

Unlike your attitude.

Are those commas I see? HOLY SHIT! IT’S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!

It was like that for the next day too. I couldn't have been more happy. Then when we got home igot that feeling again.

Ah, another elusive word, “igot”.

It sounds like a magical fairy out of D&D.

Igot sound’s like a poorly made Minecraft mod item. BEHOLD THE IRON IGOT!

That something was going to happen.

Couldn’t put that in the previous sentence instead of… Pausing for dramatic effect.

Nope, we gotta add unnecessary tension.

YOU GET A PAUSE! YOU GET A PAUSE! EVERYONE GETS A PAUSE!

And it was going to happen soon. But I shook the feeling off. And I convinced my mom to let Emily sleepover.

After she banged your brother. That’s what every responsible mom should do.

Not so she could tell me how things were going with her and Angel but to spend time with her since she was with Angel most of the time when we came home and I kind of felt left out.

Holy mother of run-on sentences…

Wolf of Trost is starting to look better to read right now.

Fuhuhuhuhu~ That sounds like it would be the perfect rite of passage.

I say we start that next! SPORK ME! Ah fuck that sounded wrong.

A little bit. Okay, a lot.

I don’t get it.

Maybe when you’re older Coffee, maybe when you’re older.

I’m an adult though...

That was the night it happened.

The night you were finally realizing how much of a poor author you are?

DUN DUN DUUUN! Twas the night this terrible story came to a close. Everyone died. THE END.

And the villagers rejoice.

CONCLUSION

Nothing happened, except teenage hormones 1/10. The only saving grace was that this chapter was short.

Because of unwarranted teenage angst I give this a 1/10.

I give this a 0/0, I screamed too much at my screen.

-Coffee, Tea, and Jagerbomb