#chad piconjo

[beanpole-simp-bin]

“If you ever feel bad about your taste in men, I’m dating a man who texts me 'it’s Fat Cock Friday, see you after work' every single Friday :// and guess where I am every single Friday ://///“

Pico, about Piconjo

[pikafaawork]

the bois in the Christmas party🎄 (("This lame party don't start until my pants are off!" 😂😂😂 that's what I imagine Piconjo will say lol))

[beanpole-simp-bin]

Piconjo: Son of a- Pico: Language! Piconjo: -bitch! All obscenity requests must be submitted at least a half-hour in advance.

[beanpole-simp-bin]

Piconjo: Passive-aggressiveness is so lame. I support bashive-aggressiveness, smashive-aggressiveness. Pico: I hate to break it to you, but that’s just aggressiveness. Piconjo: I support hitting and smacking people who bother you even slightly.

[beanpole-simp-bin]

“No slight is too small or vague to be repaid with an artful, bizarrely elaborate, and crushing plot of vengeance.“

Piconjo

[beanpole-simp-bin]

“Isn’t it funny how everyone is a background character in other people’s stories? Except me, of course, because I’m sexy and important, but all of you guys.“

Piconjo

[beanpole-simp-bin]

″No matter how insecure or shitty you feel, just remember that my muscles are massive and I can punch through walls! <3″

Piconjo

[beanpole-simp-bin]

Chad!Piconjo Headcanons for Piconjo Day <3

Years ago, Piconjo sacrificed himself for Newgrounds to live in peace. However, as a god, his soul persisted and sought out a safe place to rest while he gathered energy to make a new body. Ghostonjo.

He's more like a poltergeist, able to affect physical objects a little bit. Mostly plays with this ability while he wanders the city, seeing things move and change without him. It makes him resentful at times, watching people live their lives while he's stuck just outside the mortal realm, but he remembers that he wanted this peace for them and brushes away the bad vibes. He'd do more to help, but the majority of his power is dormant, so all he can do is watch and advise if there are things to draw with.

He can shift between Chad and Stick forms, and he can do this as a ghost too. Riding on people's shoulders was a nice pastime, seeing things from other perspectives. It eventually taught him humility.

He's got a god complex. It makes sense, since he is one, but there are times it gets in the way of his relationships. Yes, he's stronger and more durable than mortals, he has an important job as god of the Portal, but that doesn't make them worthless. They're full of creativity and light he can't begin to imagine and it took a lot for him to see and accept that.

His pride can be a real obstacle at times, but he's taught himself to control the impulse to put others down and force his ideas to the front. That's not how you spread love, that's how to be a tyrant. Patience, Piconjo. One step at a time.

In life, he's 9'5". Just absolutely fucking massive, making his enemies feel like insects and his allies feel safe. Also gives the best hugs with those huge titties. He's killed people with his jugs, them's just facts. Never by accident, though! His self-control is excellent because he never wants innocents to be scared of his strength.

He doesn't like toads. Frogs are chill, the colorful ones are nice, but toads? Thin. Ice. If he spots one he will leave the immediate area. Killing unrelated animals is unacceptable, but that doesn't mean he wants to look at them.

Uses (or used) fire magic. He fancies himself a dragon at times, a big one with a wonderful smile. As a ghost, he can heat something if he focuses hard enough, but that's the furthest extent. Sigh. One day, he'll be at full power again.

Sitting still can be tough for him. Sure, there are times he can focus for long periods of time, but he's meant for exploration and fighting. To gather energy, he has to meditate near the source of his power, the Newgrounds Portal, and it's beyond difficult when his thoughts keep drifting to more exciting things.

His whole thing is inspiring people to believe in him and, by extension, their own power. The more people believe in a god, the stronger the god becomes and the more they can benefit their followers. In an ideal world, everyone holds love in their hearts and does their best to share it. The thought keeps him calm enough to meditate...most of the time.

He's double-cheeked up on this Thursday afternoon, along with all other times. It's followed him beyond the grave and he's the hottest ghost ever. He may not have legs anymore, but who needs legs when you've got a chest like that? The biggest shame is that he can't hug living people anymore, but there are other ghosts and they seem to enjoy it.

He and Pico aren't related. There's no way a human, especially such a short one, could ever hope to be related to someone as great as Piconjo.

That's what he thought until he made human friends and realized how cool they could be. He makes more of an effort to include everyone in a positive way. Except toadies, there's nothing redeemable about them besides the way they parted before his sword. He won't budge on that.

Pico's annoyingly overrated to him. Just because he's small, people fawn over him like he's sooo great. It used to rile Piconjo up, but watching the little guy now, he's grown to dislike those thoughts and actively replace them with more neutral ones. Pico's a hero like him, there's nothing to concern himself with. He can't reach the top shelf without a stepladder. Just because he's also ginger doesn't mean he's trying to compete (not that he can, anyway). It took a while, but eventually Piconjo's anger cooled into something far less straining on his soul and he's proud of himself for making such progress.

He uses leetspeak normally, but as long as those listening don't focus too much on it, it sounds normal. That's his magic at work. Reading his writing is a little harder, but again, with enough practice anyone can do it. Seeing his writings brings his loved ones comfort that he is indeed still here, it's just a matter of time until he comes back physically.

He never needed to eat, but he enjoys making foods of all sorts for his friends and anyone who needs it. Especially LegendaryDog. To help him feel included, Piconjo created recipes for dishes that would taste like human food without causing health problems. He wants to make sure LegendaryDog knows he's being recognized on the same level as humans, not as an animal. He deserves better than that, and Piconjo sends whoever tries petting LegendaryDog without consent to the moon. Or Hell, depending on how he's feeling.

He hassles his brother, Jerkoffman (Jay for short), into using his recipes by sliding the book to him whenever he's in the kitchen and opening it to a random page. Waffles? Waffles. Pie? Pie. Sometimes things don't turn out well, but Piconjo knows it keeps him from dwelling on darker thoughts.

He misses the people he was close to in life. It's his only regret. He knows they understand his absence but seeing them in mourning makes him feel terrible. He writes messages in dust and magnets and steam to lift their spirits.

It's fortunate, then, that LegendaryDog can see and hear him, because he's not sure what he'd do watching the pup mope around. His relief is palpable and his days are better.

His soul drifted around for a while, searching for the right body to incubate in. It had to be as close to Piconjo as possible to encourage recovery -- a place to root directly into the mortal world instead of the afterlife. Eventually, after quite the journey, his soul wandered into a stick world and nestled into the body of a newborn stick, and Piconjo was able to return to wander Newgrounds as a ghost.

That stick, influenced by Piconjo's soul, would grow and head to Newgrounds himself, turning into the grouchy, purple-shirted goblin we know and love: Rumble.

Piconjo's not sure how to feel about Rumble. Good thing: he can talk directly to him and finally have a real conversation. Bad: the bastard stole his name and power and uses them as his own. The chaos he makes causes Piconjo despair at times. He sacrificed his life, only for this to happen? No! How dare he?! But all he can do is berate Rumble from beyond the veil, which doesn't do much.

At some point they argue so much that Rumble gets killed, only to respawn by the Portal. It costs Piconjo all the energy he'd gathered until that point, and they quickly come to an agreement to save their arguments for safe places.

[beanpole-simp-bin]

“What the fuck is a talking stage? Worship me or die.”

Piconjo

[beanpole-simp-bin]

Piconjo: I hope there’s no rule here about causing a commotion. Pico: I mean, we didn’t really feel the need to put it up on a sign because, y'know, civilization... Piconjo: Well, I answer to a higher law.

[beanpole-simp-bin]

“My understanding of combat is fairly straightforward: hit enemies with a sword until they're dead. If they rise again, hit them again. Repeat as necessary.“

Piconjo

[beanpole-simp-bin]

Piconjo: *swings sword at Pico and misses* Pico: Strike one! Piconjo: That’s not how this works! *swings and misses again* Pico: Strike two! One more and you’re out. Piconjo, quietly: Fuck...

[pikafaawork]

A king 👑