#cause the whole time I was waiting to see if Ted/ Rebecca would happen

[wlwgang]

Finally listening to Tate McRae and you know what greedy is a good little pop song I’ll give her that

[what-gs-watching]

"If that's a joke, I love it. If not, can't wait to unpack that with you later."

So, here’s a thing - winter makes me sad. I mean, it makes a lot of people sad, but also me. When I was younger I used to just cause a whole bunch of drama to get it out of my system but I’m an adult now and I’m still mostly fruitlessly job searching and I can’t really just go around starting fights anymore so I’m just sitting in my ennui, feeling unmoored. 

Which made me realize: I need Ted Lasso. Desperately.

Wherein, a low level American football coach moves to England to coach actual football (aka soccer) and ends up creating something so beautiful it’ll make you laugh and cry until you just can’t anymore.

If you’ve never seen Ted Lasso, first of all - how dare you? And secondly, start it now. Like, literally right now. It’s everything you didn’t know you needed. 

I will admit I didn’t get into it until my husband watched it and encouraged me into it because of my love for Jason Sudeikis. I tend to pick up unnatural obsessions for SNL alumni, I just want all of them to succeed, so I gave in and instantly lost my mind over it. I couldn’t get enough.

During the second season run, I literally had a standing weekly fifteen minute meeting with my engineers to talk about the latest episode and our theories on what would happen next, or what our favorite joke had been. There were MANY heated debates.

Before the third season came out, I made my family binge the first two seasons while we were on vacation. I remember my mom calling me after she and my dad had watched the series finale so we could talk about it - she’d never bought into a show like that before.  

Ted Lasso just brings people together, and I find it absolutely ridiculous that this poignant, wonderful, life affirming show came out of a bit that Sudeikis wrote in 2013 for an NBC Sports commercial. It’s mind boggling. 

You guys know, it’s all about the relationships for me, and that’s the entire show, really. Ted is unrelentingly positive and charming and understanding and the reason he likes coaching is because he wants to help his players be the best versions of themselves and wooooph throughout the show, you get that, for every single character, even Ted himself. It’s about loving each other and loving yourself and also somewhat about football and it’s just so fucking…delightful. 

And I’m obsessed with all of the different dynamics. Ted and Beard, and Roy and Ted and Beard, and Roy and Jamie, and Roy and Keeley, and fucking Keeley and Rebecca! If you need to see a perfect incredible WONDERFUL female friendship, it’s Rebecca and Keeley fucking Jones. Someone needs to write a long-winded essay about these two, because dear lord, I want a best friend like that. Everyone wants a best friend like that. Like, I just can’t with all of the messy, hilarious, beautiful relationships. I want to be part of them all.

Also,  it’s funny. Like, properly funny. Laugh-out-loud-no-matter-how-many-times-you’ve-seen-it funny. The bits are layered. And you’ll get something different out of them every single time. Nuance, gang. It’s all so nuanced. 

The first season is absolutely perfect. You get to know all of the characters and you get a general sense of what’s up. Everyone is kind of charming and you’re immediately annoyed with Rebecca and charmed by Roy even though he tries his best to be threatening, and you think that Nathan is adorable and you’re pulled into Ted’s unwavering enthusiasm and Beard’s silliness indulgence and straight-man stoicism and Keeley’s adorableness. And it’s WONDERFUL! I’ve seen season one at least four or five times, likely more. It’s everything.

There are so many good moments. At one point, Ted says he’s having salads for lunch with Higgins who is communications director or something and as Ted goes to leave Higgins says “Cesar you later!” and Ted BURSTS back in through the door and just yells “YES!” and it’s hilarious every time. 

When Ted and Beard realize that Roy is a bristling motherfucker who wants to hate everything, Ted says something like “wait til we win him over”, with Beard announcing “He’s. Going to be. Furious.” (And he was.)

It’s the little things in the first season that really endear you to Ted Lasso. It just wraps you up and makes you feel warm and appreciated, like there are people out there that are pure and good and they can make you feel pure and good too. 

And then you get into season two and you start to see behind the curtain. Ted’s really not okay with his divorce (which, I still think is because his wife couldn’t deal with his optimism? Which is so insane to me and I can’t even, I never forgave her like, what the fuck is that) and in general and they tackle a lot of mental health issues and social issues and it’s a bit hard to get through.

But at the same time, season two has some of my favorite bits? Which is confusing??! The scene where Sam asks Isaac for a haircut - everyone gets a single cut from the captain once a season - and the entire team watches and whoops and freaks out and it’s like, an intricate performance and everyone is just so fucking thrilled to be witnessing it? It’s weirdly beautiful. 

Ted and Beard teaching the entire team the choreography to NSYNC’s Bye Bye Bye so they can send off the team shrink in a ridiculous way? Incredible. When they finally get the dance right, they lose their fucking minds. It’s so JOYFUL.

The episode where Roy finally realizes he wants to join the coaching staff and he makes a dramatic trek to the stadium while “She’s a Rainbow” blares? The theme of that one was believing in rom-communism - to rouse the team Ted tells them “Fairy tales do not start nor do they end in the dark forest” and yo that’s so TRUE - and when Roy finally showed up on the pitch he said, “You had me at ‘coach’.” I cry every single time I see that one. I literally watched it twice in a week when getting the family into the show and I cried both times. Hard. 

I think part of the reason this show is so resonating is because dark shit happens, but a lot of really sweet things happen too. There’s an episode wherein Rebecca’s dad dies and they’re all attending the funeral but it still is somehow achingly funny too, even though you learn some terrible things about Ted and Rebecca both in that one. They really ride the line of darkness and light and it’s messy and that’s life.

And then season three is hard.  So much happens. And you know that you’re barreling toward the finale. There’s only 34 episodes in the entire series and it’s not nearly enough but they do try to make the most of their time. 

Watching the finale season in real time was really interesting though, I’ll say, because the fandom was so nuts at the time. So many random theories and outrage over some of the story points. And at the time I did kind of agree, but seeing it all back to back now in my first true binge, it all makes sense. Everyone had their own journey and some of them were ridiculous and maybe we just wanted things to stay the same because that’s how we fell in love with the characters but that’s not the point, gang. Shit is forever changing.

I’ll never get over the moment when Roy finally relents to the diamond dogs. Or Jamie teaching him how to ride a fucking bike in Amsterdam. Or when the team comes together to help Sam put his restaurant back together after it’s completely vandalized. Or Beard explaining to Nate his background with Ted, and offering his forgiveness to Nate as a way to honor everything Ted has done. Or Rebecca calling Roy out on his shit, saying that instead of helping himself he’d rather “eat shit soup and then complain about the portions”. 

There are so many little beautiful pieces. So many things that will pull at your heart strings and make you realize things that maybe have been niggling around in your brain but refusing to come forward because you were scared of them. Ted Lasso helps you be less scared of them. Ted Lasso helps you be less scared of everything, because it encourages you to accept yourself as you are.

In the final episode, Higgins says “Human beings are never gonna be perfect. The best we can do is to keep asking for help and accepting it when you can. And if you keep on doing that, you'll always be moving towards better.” 

And that’s what all of us need to understand. This show will ingrain that thought into you, and it’ll buoy you, and you won’t even realize it. 

So maybe now I’m feeling less ennui. Because I’m still laughing at the hijinx and basking in the wholesomeness and the amazingly perfect relationships  and the belief. Ted Lasso makes you fucking believe.

[euthoriaz]

HEY WHAT'S UP PEOPLE!! So sorry for being kinda inactive within the Cleon/Resident Evil fandom. BUT GUESS WHAT?!

THEY ALL ARE IN 1 MOVIE! And it's like one big reunion😭.

This is not a drill, guys.

I REPEAT. THIS. IS. NOT. A . DRILL.

Fans have been asking for Ada/Carlos/Billy/Sheva/Barry or basically every other RE characters to be in a movie TOGETHER. But this is just the beginning, folks. Let Capcom takes some baby steps cause I can see their effort in trying to hear us. On the other hand, we should be grateful for what we have right now (AKA THIS) rather than nothing at all.

I never once thought that Capcom would do this and making our wish comes true! We've been waiting for a long time. Even YEARS for this😭.

This, folks, in my humble opinion, is what a true fanservice is🥲👍🏻. Good move and marketing from Capcom! They know how to make such a powerful scene and poster to promote this movie!

Don't mind me attaching this again (cause I'm freaking excited😭).

This folks, this poster right here will always be iconic and historical for Resident Evil fans (both new and old generation).

I can't wait to see Leon and Jill interaction!

How do they meet?

Is Chris involved in them meeting each other?

Or is it because of the whole BSAA vs Government sort of thing?

SO MANY QUESTIONS I HAVE AND SO MANY DAMN SCENARIOS ALREADY PLAYING INSIDE MY HEAD JUST BECAUSE OF THAT.

Also, I mean yes I know that Leon and Jill will meet (I was shocked😂) B-BUT CLAIRE???? ESPECIALLY REBECCA?!! THIS IS BOTH OF THEM WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.

ALL. IN. ONE. MOVIE.

WHAT THE HELL IS GONNA HAPPEN IN DEATH ISLAND?

Something serious definitely happens if ALL OF THEM ARE POINTING THEIR GUNS LIKE THAT.

It's mortifying to see them taking action yet wonderful at the same time😂 Whoever the enemy is, they're a complete idiot for not throwing their ass out the second they see them like that💀

Like helloooooo??? Sir, Ma'am, for your informations, we have Chris a.k.a the boulder master, Leon our golden boy with that amazing hair, and I don't think I need to start with the women😂

If anything, HOW DOES EVERYONE MEET AT ONE MOMENT? CAPCOM BETTER PREPARE SOME GOOD STORYLINE RIGHT THERE AND NOT JUAT MAKING THEM MEET COINCIDENTALLY. That'd be weird💀

AND BASED ON THE SCREENSHOT, IT SEEMS LIKE THEY'RE GIVING CLAIRE SOME ACTIONS AND NOT SIDELINING HER!! Yay for this😭

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, (the most important part for me and other Cleon shippers😂)

Claire and Leon.

CLAIRE AND LEON.

THIS IS YOUR CHANCE CAPCOM,

YOUR DAMN CHANCE.

DON'T FREAKING RUIN IT😭

To see both Claire and Leon talking to each other or even have moments together will always make me happy. Over the moon precisely.

I-IF WE'RE EVER GONNA HAVE SOME CLEON MOMENTS-

I-MY HEART-😭

WELL WE BETTER BE THO😆. IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME. I'll cherish their moment, even the slightest bit, seconds by seconds. Hoping that we see both of them getting closer to each other because of the reconciliation😭. Just give me some Cleon moments please Capcom😩

There. I said it.

Thank you for coming to TED talk☺

[moon0fairy]

Ted Lasso 3x08 commentary aka me suffering:

Jamie as Richmonds talisman aww and him and Rojas making a goal hehe

Yes Rupert suffer

Ted :(

Wait is his full name Jake Jacob ??

Akwaard~

Uhh Jacks tattoos

Girlfriends

Preparing myself for the bad news

Not a Nate scene I expected, he‘s so awkward hdgsjs

Look not to judge anyone by their looks but Jade gives of queer vibes

Oh no Keeley :(

Loved the whole locker room scene. Trent + his rainbow cup, Beard and Roy just watching behind the window, Beard agreeing with what Trent said

Roy asking if he wanna talk about it, look at the growth !! And immediately regretting it haha

Omg Trent is about to experience the diamond dogs for the first time he ain‘t ready

Trent experiencing a cultural shook hdjsks he looks so confused

Trent: 🤨

„You can‘t worry about something that hasn‘t happened yet“ (good advice bestie, still won‘t take it)

the amount of time I need to recover from Trent‘s „woof“ is embarrassingly long

AND WE DIDN’T EVEN SEE TED’S REACTION

Not Nate thinking Rupert would come over 🫡

Trying to recreate his own Diamond Dogs oh boi, bro really needs someone to talk

Those are terrible tricks and I hope this one guy burns this book and never speaks of it again

Noo not Ted learning Oscar Wilde is dead 😭😭😭

Knock on wood

Keeley don‘t read the comments :(

That‘s a terrible statement oh wow

Damn Jamie thats an impressive collection

Oh no Colin bestie what are you saying, that‘s too much and completely inappropriate

Thank you Isaac!! Thank you Jamie!!!

Bumberbatch, I wanna know your secrets

You would think Colin would be extra careful

Pain suffering… are Roy and Jamie gonna try to comfort Keeley ????

What did Jamie see…

The look Isaac gave Colin, fearing for my life right now

Isaac you just gave a whole speech about not looking at photos without permission😭😭 the pure panic and fear in Colins face

Suffering, only suffering (predicting a Colin and Trent talking about it scene)

Not even a word, this hurts so bad

I hope that teacher rots in jail wtf

Now I‘m scared that Jack will release the statement against her will (People are making me doubt her and I hate it)

Roy… why would you ask that …

Yeah Jack you should have asked :(

Look if I didn‘t know better and you just gave me that scene, I would 100% believe that Ted and Beard are a gay couple with their son

Not the west ham match🤡 Beard you‘re iconic for that

Damn Henry really loves Nate huh

„Friend“.. didn‘t you say in the beginning you wanted to show everyone your „girlfriend“ ?? (Not that she has to be out to everyone but this felt different)

Mae being petty love that for her

„Cause my dad does.“🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

Rebecca asking the real questions, chapter Michelle is over!!

„You need to stop letting yesterday get in the way of today“

Jack…..

Jamie apologizing 🥹 being accountable matters !! Whoo

The whole scene about his password was hilarious jsksks

Henry ignoring Jake, that‘s right

[writingamongtheroses-archive]

Dorado Cousins

(That are written so far. Inspired by @rachywritessomething‘s question. Warning, mentions of death and blood, it’s long and there’s Spanish. I suggest SpanishDict.)

Liza forced herself to go home to shower- the hot office and fear for her life had produced sweat- and change before she went to tío Rafael's house.

The three-story house was where Liza had spent her childhood since she was ten. Her parents had disappeared after the same accident that left scars on her head and somehow, she ended up living with tío Rafael. She wasn't sure why- he was her great uncle, and she had Aunt Camilla-Rose and Uncle Jorge. But that did spare her from Candela.

Liza marched up to the door to give it a solid knock. There was a moment before the door opened, revealing Lynn. She had been a foster child when Liza moved in, although she had moved out years ago to become a cop. "Oh boy," Lynn said when she saw her. "You should probably wait, Abuelita-"

"¡Lynn! ¡Vuelve, querida, para que sepas dónde está la fiesta!"

Lynn turned to yell back. "Un minuto!" Liza had paled at the voice from inside by the time she turned back, rolling her eyes. "Sorry, Abuelita's here, raving about Candela's engagement party."

Liza winced. "Oh! Um..." She rolled her sleeve back to consult the notes written on her arms. "Who is she..."

Lynn took pity. "This guy named Tom. Don't tell her or Abuelita, but I don't think he was planning for it to go this far."

"Lynn!"

"Un minuto, Abuelita!"

There were scoff and some footsteps, approaching the door. Lynn gestured for her to run. "¡Un momento, dice..." Liza turned to sprint but froze at the old woman's voice. "¡Ah! Elizabeth, preciosa, ¡estás aquí!"

She turned, fixing a fake grin on her face at the sight of the old woman. "Abuelita!" The old woman pulled her into a hug. "¡Me alegro de verte! Otra vez."

"¡También me alegro de verte, nieta!" Abuelita pushed Liza away to smile even harder. That smile warned that talk about Candela, Abuelita's favorite, was incoming. Lynn and Liza shared winces. "¡¿Escuchaste las noticias?! Tom finalmente le ha propuesto a Candela!" She opened her mouth to reply, but her great-grandmother was already dragging her inside. They passed three more foster kids- Tucker, Huang Fu, and Anne- playing in the living room as they entered the kitchen. "Rafael, Candela y Tom, Marisol, mira quién vino de visita!"

Tío Rafael was sitting with Liza's cousin and her twin, as well as a blonde guy who must've been Tom, at the kitchen table. Rafael aimed a warm smile at his great-niece. "Hola, Liza."

"Hola, Tío Rafael." Liza turned her fake grin to Candela, who was gripping and nuzzling Tom's arm like there was no tomorrow. (He looked a bit lost.) "Congratulations, Candela," she said in English, for the benefit of Tom, as she pulled up her sleeve. "I'm so happy for you."

"Heh, it's no big deal," Candela said with a sweep of a hand, showing off the huge diamond on there. "I just knew Tom was the one." Liza shared an eye roll with Marisol and Lynn. "Anyway, the party's next weekend at 5. You can remember that, right?"

Everything went silent. Liza could feel everyone's eyes on them. She managed to regain her smile, nodding. "Of course! Now, as much as I enjoy your...company, I'm actually here to-"

"Oh my gosh! You have to hear how he proposed!"

Liza felt the urge to bang her head against something.

-_-

A large cardboard box, Liza and Ted Bear's Pizza written in neat cursive on the side, sat there. She grabbed it and clambered back down. From what she knew, most of her childhood had been spent at the place before her accident. Maybe the videos would explain why Ted looked surprised at her name, or even give some sort of hint of what the Puppet expected from her exactly.

Liza pushed the ladder back up to the ceiling and turned, prepared to start watching some cringe- "Liza?"

"Marisol?" She said, explanations welling up for the ghost gripping her shoulder and watching her cousin. "Why are you here?"

"I left my purse here." her cousin said, seeming to not even notice Doll. Did she not see her? "Why are you here?" Liza held up the box as an explanation. "Oh, yeah. You work there now, don't you..."

Liza nodded. "Yeah. Kinda got curious and decided to see if I could jolt anything."

"I'll watch with you!"

So that was how Liza found herself loading the first tape she found in while Marisol was popping popcorn.

-_-

"Huh...that was cute," Marisol said to break the silence. "What did you think Liza?" There was nothing. "Liza?"

Liza was hiding her face.

"Still weak to compliments, I see."

-_-

"Yes. They don't want anyone to know."

"Then how are you telling me?"

There was silence. Bun stared at Liza, her eyes slowly darkening. Remembering what happened when that had happened with Ted, she took a step back.

"I'm sorry, prima." She stiffened. The voice was Bun's, but it also sounded so small. "Lo siento. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm tired." A funny little noise escaped. It took her a moment to realize it was a wail. "I'm tired of being angry. I'm sick of this!" The last sentence came out with so much anger, it broke her heart. "But..." Hands rested on her shoulders. "We might be sick of it, but she's not."

"I'm guessing she is the one in Ted." The possessed Bun nodded. "Wait! There are five of the ghosts, but there's only four animatronics. Where's the..." She stopped as a cold realization crawled up her spine. "...fifth one." She turned to stare at Doll.

Like how dew would evaporate on a warm summer morning, Doll's features shifted. Liza felt her stomach attempt to riot as she took her in. Instead of unbroken skin and neat hair, her head looked crushed. Green eyes were almost falling out. The blood that leaked from her skull stained everything. Doll couldn't attach to her suit for some reason, which meant she had been left to wander the restaurant.

Until a sunny day in 2005.

Another push broke her out of her thoughts. "Look, it doesn't matter who is possessing who, you need to go!"

-_-

“You did it!”

Liza came slowly. When she opened her eyes, she was in an odd-colored void and felt weightless. “Okay,” she griped. “This is getting old.” Honestly, at this point, she had a right to complain.

“You did it!” This time, something wrapped around her. Liza glanced down to see the little ghost form of Manny.

“Oh, hey.” she said before pausing. “You can talk?”

He smiled. “Hi, prima.”

A gentle smile formed as she reached up to stroke her dead cousin’s cheek. “Hey, primo.” Despite being in the void, her voice was creaky with tears she was swallowing back. Now that she knew who he was, she could recognize his resemblance to Uncle Vincent and the pictures of long dead Aunt Candela.

“...Puppet’s really proud of you,” he said, snuggling into her touch. “He’s resting right now, he’s always tired after helping Goldie.”

“Goldie?” Looking around, Liza now recognized the void’s color.

It was gold.

“Yeah! Um...I used to be really scared of him.” Liza adjusted herself into a criss-cross position, cradling Manny in her lap. He adjusted to the new position easily. “But he’s sorry for hurting me. He even helped Doll fix you when Rebecca used Ted to hurt you!” Huh- that put the whole brain bleed theory about her eyes in a new light. She couldn’t help the touch to her forehead and the bared scars.

“He...uh, he did? Why?”

“Well…’cause we’re family. And family helps each other. Right?” Manny stared at her with eager eyes.

“Yeah.” Liza said after a moment. “Although someone should tell Abuelita that.”

“Daddy used to say someone should tell Abuelita a lot of things.”

She chuckled. “Yeah. Goldie...he called me a Suit.”

“Oh! Puppet’s my Suit, but we can’t switch out like you or Doll or Goldie can. And I’m sorry.” Manny said, eyes filling with tears. “It wasn’t- it shouldn’t have been like that. After...what happened to me and Doll, he got put away and now he doesn’t work. He was supposed to share power, not possess you, but he didn’t have a lot of options.”

Liza wiped away the tears that began to roll down his cheeks. “Hey, hey, don’t worry! I’m not mad, just a bit confused. That’s all.”

“So you’ll stay?!”

“Wha- Yes! Of course I’ll stay.”

He grinned brightly, tears beginning to dry. “Yay! She’ll stay! She’ll stay!” He began to bounce around the void, cheering. Liza chuckled as she watched him. Is this how their relationship would’ve been if he had lived? He soon returned to tackle her into another hug. “Gracias!”

“De nada.” she said. His sweet eagerness was honestly adorable. A sudden thought occurred to her. “Calworth! He didn’t kill Calworth, did he?!”

“No.” Manny shrugged. “You asked him not to, so he didn’t. Everyone is really close to their suits, he’ll listen to you. Puppet listens to me.”

Relief flooded through her. Calworth would receive the proper punishment. Killing was horrible. Nobody deserved to die, even if they were sick and twisted like the Threat. Liza shook her head at the thought that wasn’t hers, rubbing her head. “Puppet loves you a lot, you know.”

His smile turned shy. “Yeah, I know. It loves you too. It...loved Elijah too. That’s why it tried to give him Goldie’s power. But…” His smile was replaced by a sad frown. “Goldie...was too much.”

Oh.

That was how...

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. Elijah wanted it anyway, to make sure nothing like us happened again.” He suddenly sounded very old, reminding Liza that although it looked like he was younger and she was older, it was nothing like that. He was the older while she was the younger. “Goldie’s great to have around! He can protect us from Threats. But...he needs you.”

“I...thank you. For trusting me with this.”

Manny smiled. 

“I know you can do it.”

The void started to darken around them. Manny, however, glowed brighter.

The last thing Liza saw was the bright glow.

It was gold.

[dbtrilogy2]

Im Sorry(24)

Rebecca

Shaking my hair around snatching my glasses off I take a second scoping out the restaurant.

"You beat me here...how embarrassing."

A bitter chuckle leaves my lips. We get a table far from everyone else by my request. He pulled my chair out. I walk around sitting in the next chair.

"Can I start you all with anything?"

"I'll have a beer anything is fine just not lite and...."

"Two shots of Hennessy."

I'm here for one reason and one only. Soon as the waiter left he try's sparking up a conversation.

"New hair I like it."

"Mmhm." I take back my shots soon as their placed down.

"I'm glad you uh agreed to meeting me. Look um I just...I don't even know. You know I love you it was a mistake telling you what I did like that and I most defiantly regret it. To this day I can't get that look of hurt and betrayal you gave me that day. A second chance would be nice since we've been through it all together you had my back before all the money and fame but I know you deserve better so I won't be completely upset if you decide not to you know go with it. Whatever you wanna do I'm for it."

I've prepared for this moment as much as a person can. Mentally yes my mind has already decided fuck him and that island whore get my money take care of my kids. Emotionally on the other hand....after all he's my husband and the father of my kids. We've been together for so long and this is technically the first real bump in our relationship. I want to take him back with open arms but then I think about this whole situation all over again.

"Funny thing is you said something similar before we started therapy. I thought we just needed to talk have someone to be the mediator so things don't get out of hand or to help each other see the other side. Never would I had even began to think it would've reveal things so deep and in only a few visits."

"You know baby I never wanted to go in the first place but like always I made a sacrifice for you. I always put you first babe you mean everything to me."

He reached over taking my hand. Did he really just try to say this is my fault? I sit up straight taking my water in the hand he tried to reach for.

"Were you with her the days you went ghost?" I already knew he was but this was just gonna determined my next move.

"Honestly yes. She's a break from reality for me. I know it's not what you want to hear but if we really are gonna work this out honesty had to be present. "

"Oh what you had some kind of vacation with the woman you cheated on me with. You thought the best way to deal with a marital problem was to spend time with the cause of said problems?" He stutters over his words. "How stupid do you think I am?"

"Baby-"

"No...I don't want to hear any excuse you have I don't want to try and work this out anymore. I'm not gonna be a solo puller in this your not gonna make me look stupid because you no longer love me or your family."

"I do-"

"You don't. So here's what gonna happen I will file and all you need to do is sign your name. You'll see the kids if they want to see you I won't ask for child support or anything like that. I'm wiping my hands with you after basically forcing myself to stick it through for my kids. I refuse to stay when you don't to."

"Camila took chris back I don't understand why we can't just work through this. That's what married couples do they work together." His points at me starting to breath heavier. "Rebecca....baby please I'm begging you."

"You can't compare us to other Carlton. And even if I was to this still would be different because one: he confessed to his mistake right after it happened, two: he worked to right his wrong and most importantly he didn't go back to who he cheated with in fact he basically cut her off out of respect for his wife. If you would've done that like I asked before we hopefully wouldn't be here! God Carlton just be a man for once and own up to what you did."

We sat here for what felt so long. I never would've thought we would be here in this position. It was suppose to be till death do us part. Turns out all it takes is a island witch to do us part.

My phone vibrates from my lap.

Ted:I'm here

"Clearly you have nothing to say so I'm going to be on with the rest of my day." Putting shades on I stand hooking my purse on my arm.

As I walk pass him he pulls on my bag.

"Look I'm sorry things turned out like this."

"Are you really? People who are sorry try to fix what they've done. You didn't come look for me you did call...you ran right into her arms just like she wanted you to. I'm not about to fight a bitch over a dick. If your so called "sorry" prove it but don't waste my time. She so important then stay there." ........ Wiping my face I chuckle. Ted hands me a tissue. "I can't believe I'm still crying over this nigga. It's not worth it he's not worth it. I'm a fucking jewel a one of a kind."

"One can stay for so long. He's your husband father to your children you care and love this man. It's not gonna be a hop and skip to get over a heartbreak and betrayal. It's healthy to release these tears and pain so that you don't bottle it up becoming bitter I don't want that to taint your beauty."

He came by my shop to help with a couple things like lighting and what not. Soon as I got here it's just like I couldn't hold it any longer. I didn't want Carlton to see me like this hell I don't want Ted to see me. But at this moment with how hurt I am I'd rather get it all out over bottling it up. I don't want to become bitter like he said. Then she wins....technically she already has.

    Mona

Covering my face I rush into the police station with pissed off parents behind me. The officers in front held off the camera men best they could but these people are just ruthless.

I was discharged from the hospital last night but have to come in today to give my side of what happen and identify who did it. It's so many emotions running through my head I didn't even sleep last night. Just cried and cried. I feel so stupid.

For believing he actually liked me and wanted me. For turning on my own sister. And mostly betraying my parents trust in me. They haven't said much to me since the hospital. After getting the test results back it showed I didn't get anytime of STD or anything but what I was drugged with did some damage to my kidneys. Mom cried more than I did probably hearing that and dad he just looked at me.

"You all can wait here while I get the detectives on your case." The cop sat us in one of those rooms with a two way mirror.

I played with my sleeves nervously.

"Mona after this when we get home I need you to pack some clothes us your gonna stay with your grandparents for a while just until all this dies down. You'll do all your school work online for the rest of this quarter." Dad said speaking for the first time since last night.

I nod wiping my face. Two men in suits come in. One hands me a bottle of apple juice and a donut. "Goodmorning Mr and Mrs Washington. Goodmorning Mona...we hope this to be a quick process so you don't have to be here longer than needed. We've already gotten more than enough eye witnesses who were at the party now we just need some details from you. And please let us know everything and be completely honest."

They say putting a recorder on the table in front of me. "Are you comfortable with your parents being in the room?"

I nod. "Yes."

"Alright let's get right to it. How did you meet the student involved?"

"He's my ex boyfriends older brother. I only saw him when he would come home from college."

"How did the relationship began?"

Both mom and dad sat behind me watching close. "I-I noticed him looking at me when he'd pick up his brother and a few times I would go to their house he would smile and wink at me a lot. I decided to break up with my boyfriend and it just went from there."

"What was the relationship like?"

"Well um it was kept a secret so we mostly hung in his car. He would come to my school during lunch or after cheer practice. I would tell my parents I was with a friend or had detention."

"Ok now parents this may be hard to hear these next few questions but please just keep it together so we can get the answers needed. Now Mona before the events were you two sexually active together?"

They are gonna kill me. "Uh we um...it was only oral. The night at the party was the first time he tried more than that."

"Did you ever feel like you could possibly be in danger anytime with him?"

"No he made me feel mature always telling me how I'm not like girls my age and how different I am. I thought he really had some kind of feelings for me but then he laid it on me that he has a girlfriend. I felt so stupid but stayed...clearly I was doing something she wasn't I was important to him so much that he'd risk his relationship."

"But not his reputation since your relationship was clearly a secret. You didn't think that might've been a wake up call. Your only fourteen what could possibly make you feel like you needed this attention so bad you went looking in the wrong places?" The other detective asked. This was the first thing he's said since walking in.

"I became jealous of my sister I thought everyone liked her more than me then my parents started working a little more than usual. Just me being the spoiled brat I've always been."

"So are you saying your parents basically pushed you into the arms of this predator?"

"No! I'd never say that I lied about everything to them they believed me because well I'm their daughter. My mom tried to I guess patch things up but I ditched our plans."

Just thinking how I cried to her about feeling left out then ditched her. Anything could've happened that night I'd possibly would've never been able to spend time with her ever again.

"Now just tell me about this night in question and how it all reaches the point of you being in the hospital."

As much as I really don't want to relive this I have to.

"Um...my friend and I got picked up from her house by Shawn and a friend of his. We got to the party and it was so many people I felt out of place almost like people could tell I wasn't suppose to be there. He left me to get us drinks basically forcing it down on me. I think I was two or three cups in before I started feeling almost like I was on a boat I couldn't keep my balance for anything."

"You were drunk?"

"Yes and he took me to the kitchen to get more but that's when two of his friends came over and asking what he was doing with me because they recognized me being my parents are famous."

"Were one of the friends a female?"

"Yes she was the one that offered to help me. I don't remember anything after that."

Mom came over holding me against her chest crying. I hugged her back as dad came in.

"I'm sorry...I-I didn't...I didn't know."

"You did great Mona all we need now is for you to confirm who we have is the one responsible."

They took us to a similar room being on the other side.

"I don't even know this girl I met her at the party how was I suppose to know she was underage!!"

He's denying me?

"Look kid there is so much we have on you it's really pointless to deny anything at this point."

"Ok ok I did know her but...she told me she was eighteen."

"He's lying....why is he doing this?" More tears began staining my cheeks.

"We've seen enough can we go now?" Dad pulled me away from the mirror.

"We just wait for a court date. Thank you all for coming in today I hope you are able to get through this."

Putting my hood back up we rushed out the station to the waiting car. I hate that I did this to them. I've basically shamed my family. I don't think sorry is enough anymore.

[bluewatsons]

Jessica Bennett, On Campus, Failure Is on the Syllabus, New York Times (June 24, 2017)

NORTHAMPTON, Mass. — Last year, during fall orientation at Smith College, and then again recently at final-exam time, students who wandered into the campus hub were faced with an unfamiliar situation: the worst failures of their peers projected onto a large screen.

“I failed my first college writing exam,” one student revealed.

“I came out to my mom, and she asked, ‘Is this until graduation?’” another said.

The faculty, too, contributed stories of screwing up.

“I failed out of college,” a popular English professor wrote. “Sophomore year. Flat-out, whole semester of F’s on the transcript, bombed out, washed out, flunked out.”

“I drafted a poem entitled ‘Chocolate Caramels,’ ” said a literature and American studies scholar, who noted that it “has been rejected by 21 journals … so far.”

This was not a hazing ritual, but part of a formalized program at the women’s college in which participants more accustomed to high test scores and perhaps a varsity letter consent to having their worst setbacks put on wide display.

“It was almost jarring,” said Carrie Lee Lancaster, 20, a rising junior. “On our campus, everything can feel like such a competition, I think we get caught up in this idea of presenting an image of perfection. So to see these failures being talked about openly, for me I sort of felt like, ‘O.K., this is O.K., everyone struggles.’”

The presentation is part of a new initiative at Smith, “Failing Well,” that aims to “destigmatize failure.” With workshops on impostor syndrome, discussions on perfectionism, as well as a campaign to remind students that 64 percent of their peers will get (gasp) a B-minus or lower, the program is part of a campuswide effort to foster student “resilience,” to use a buzzword of the moment.

“What we’re trying to teach is that failure is not a bug of learning, it’s the feature,” said Rachel Simmons, a leadership development specialist in Smith’s Wurtele Center for Work and Life and a kind of unofficial “failure czar” on campus. “It’s not something that should be locked out of the learning experience. For many of our students — those who have had to be almost perfect to get accepted into a school like Smith — failure can be an unfamiliar experience. So when it happens, it can be crippling.”

Ms. Simmons would know. She hid her own failure (dropping out of a prestigious scholarship program in her early 20s; told by her college president that she had embarrassed her school) for close to a decade. “For years, I thought it would ruin me,” she said.

Which is why, when students enroll in her program, they receive a certificate of failure upon entry, a kind of permission slip to fail. It reads: “You are hereby authorized to screw up, bomb or fail at one or more relationships, hookups, friendships, texts, exams, extracurriculars or any other choices associated with college … and still be a totally worthy, utterly excellent human.”

A number of students proudly hang it from their dormitory walls.

Preoccupied in the 1980s with success at any cost (think Gordon Gekko), the American business world now fetishizes failure, thanks to technology experimentalist heroes like Steve Jobs. But while the idea of “failing upward” has become a badge of honor in the start-up world — with blog posts, TED talks, even industry conferences — students are still focused on conventional metrics of achievement, campus administrators say.

Nearly perfect on paper, with résumés packed full of extracurricular activities, they seemed increasingly unable to cope with basic setbacks that come with college life: not getting a room assignment they wanted, getting wait-listed for a class or being rejected by clubs.

“We’re not talking about flunking out of pre-med or getting kicked out of college,” Ms. Simmons said. “We’re talking about students showing up in residential life offices distraught and inconsolable when they score less than an A-minus. Ending up in the counseling center after being rejected from a club. Students who are unable to ask for help when they need it, or so fearful of failing that they will avoid taking risks at all.”

Almost a decade ago, faculty at Stanford and Harvard coined the term “failure deprived” to describe what they were observing: the idea that, even as they were ever more outstanding on paper, students seemed unable to cope with simple struggles. “Many of our students just seemed stuck,” said Julie Lythcott-Haims, the former dean of freshmen at Stanford and the author of “How to Raise an Adult.”

They soon began connecting the dots: between what they were seeing anecdotally — the lack of coping skills — and what mental health data had shown for some time, including, according to the American College Health Association, an increase in depression and anxiety, overwhelming rates of stress and more demand for counseling services than campuses can keep up with.

It was Cornell that, in 2010 after a wave of student suicides, declared that it would be an “obligation of the university” to help students learn life skills. Not long after, Stanford started an initiative called the Resilience Project, in which prominent alumni recounted academic setbacks, recording them on video. “It was an attempt to normalize struggle,” Ms. Lythcott-Haims said.

A consortium of academics soon formed to share resources, and programs have quietly proliferated since then: the Success-Failure Project at Harvard, which features stories of rejection; the Princeton Perspective Project, encouraging conversation about setbacks and struggles; Penn Faces at the University of Pennsylvania, a play on the term used by students to describe those who have mastered the art of appearing happy even when struggling.

“There is this kind of expectation on students at a lot of these schools to be succeeding on every level: academically, socially, romantically, in our family lives, in our friendships,” said Emily Hoeven, a recent graduate who helped start the project in her junior year. “And also sleep eight hours a night, look great, work out and post about it all on social media. We wanted to show that life is not that perfect.”

At the University of Texas, Austin, there is now a free iPhone app, Thrive, that helps students “manage the ups and downs of campus life” through short videos and inspirational quotes. The University of California, Los Angeles has what it calls a head of student resilience on staff. While at Davidson College, a liberal arts school in North Carolina, there is a so-called failure fund, a series of $150 to $1,000 grants for students who want to pursue a creative endeavor, with no requirements that the idea be viable or work. “We encourage students to learn from their mistakes and lean into their failure,” the program’s news release states.

“For a long time, I think we assumed that this was the stuff that was automatically learned in childhood: that everyone struck out at the baseball diamond or lost the student council race,” said Donna Lisker, Smith’s dean of the college and vice president for student life. “The idea that an 18-year-old doesn’t know how to fail on the one hand sounds preposterous. But I think in many ways we’ve pulled kids away from those natural learning experiences.”

And so, universities are engaging in a kind of remedial education that involves talking, a lot, about what it means to fail.

“I think colleges are revamping what they believe it means to be well educated — that it’s not about your ability to write a thesis statement, but to bounce back when you’re told it doesn’t measure up,” said Ms. Simmons, the author of two books on girls’ self-esteem who is publishing a third, “Enough as She Is,” next year. “Especially now, with the current economy, students need tools to pivot between jobs, between careers, to work on short-term projects, to be self-employed. These are crucial life skills.”

If it all feels a bit like a “Portlandia” sketch, that’s because it actually was one: in which Fred and Carrie decide to hire a bully to teach grit to students, one who uses padded gym mats to make sure the children don’t actually get hurt.

Add “teaching failure” to nap pods (yes, those exist) and campus petting zoos (also common), and you’ve got to wonder, as a cover story in Psychology Today questioned last year: At what point do colleges end up more like mental health wards than institutions of higher learning?

“Look, I don’t think there’s anything fundamentally wrong with trying to create experiences that are calming,” said Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist at Penn. “But I’d like to spend a bit more time figuring out what’s causing those stresses.”

Researchers say it’s a complicated interplay of child-rearing and culture: years of helicopter-parenting and micromanaging by anxious parents. “This is the generation that everyone gets a trophy,” said Rebecca Shaw, Smith’s director of residence life. College admissions mania, in which many middle- and upper-class students must navigate what Ms. Simmons calls a “‘Hunger Games’-like mentality” where the preparation starts early, the treadmill never stops and the stakes can feel impossibly high.

It is fear about the economy — Is the American dream still a possibility? Will I be able to get a job after graduation? — and added pressure to succeed felt by first-generation and low-income students: of being the first in their families to go to college; of having to send money home; or simply overcoming the worry that, as one engineering student put it, “maybe I was a quota.”

“I’m coming from a low-income, predominantly African-American community where there just aren’t resources,” said Arabia Simeon, 19, a junior at Smith. “So there is this added pressure of needing to do well.”

And there’s the adjustment, for many high-achieving students, of no longer being “the best and brightest” on campus, said Amy Jordan, the associate dean for undergraduate studies at Penn. Or what Smithies call “special snowflake syndrome.”

“We all came from high schools where we were all the exception to the rule — we were kind of special in some way, or people told us that,” said Cai Sherley, 20, seated in the campus cafe. Around her, Zoleka Mosiah, Ms. Simeon and Ms. Lancaster nodded in agreement. “So you get here and of course you want to recreate that,” Ms. Sherley said. “But here, everybody’s special. So nobody is special.”

Social media doesn’t help, because while students may know logically that no one goes through college or, let’s be honest, life without screw-ups, it can be pretty easy to convince yourself, by way of somebody else’s feed, “that everyone but you is a star,” said Jaycee Greeley, 19, a sophomore.

It is also a culture that has glorified being busy — or at the very least conflates those things with status. “There’s this idea that I’m not worthy if I’m not stressed and overwhelmed,” said Stacey Steinbach, a residential life coordinator at Smith. “And in some sense to not be stressed is a failing.”

It’s what Ms. Simmons calls “competitive stress”: the subject of her afternoon workshop on the campus lawn, to which she was luring students with ice cream and bingo.

When students arrived, the sundaes were there. But the bingo cards were a little different — filled with things like “I have 20 pages to write tonight,” “I’m too busy to eat” and “I’m so dead.” It was called “Stress Olympics.”

“It’s basically a play on competitive suffering,” said Casey Hecox, a 20-year-old junior. “It’s when we’re like, ‘I have three tests tomorrow.’ And then someone’s like, ‘I have five tests tomorrow, and all I’ve eaten is 5-hour Energy, and my dog is sick.’”

With only a few weeks before school was to let out, the stress pinwheel over summer internships and jobs — applications, recommendations, networking — was already at a steady buzz. What if they didn’t get one? Or the right one? “I’m not used to the whole ‘summer job’ concept, and I found the process quite intimidating,” said Ms. Mosiah, 21, a sophomore. “I had to ask for help from my friends and the on-campus resources to work through this. I’m not used to asking for help or being rejected this often, so I was really taken aback.”

Ms. Lancaster said, “Sometimes it’s hard not to take each and every rejection letter as a failure, but I’m trying to stay positive.”

Whatever happens, there will be plenty of time to talk about it when students return to campus in the fall.

[newstfionline]

On Campus, Failure Is on the Syllabus

By Jessica Bennett, NY Times, June 24, 2017

NORTHAMPTON, Mass.--Last year, during fall orientation at Smith College, and then again recently at final-exam time, students who wandered into the campus hub were faced with an unfamiliar situation: the worst failures of their peers projected onto a large screen.

“I failed my first college writing exam,” one student revealed.

The faculty, too, contributed stories of screwing up.

“I failed out of college,” a popular English professor wrote. “Sophomore year. Flat-out, whole semester of F’s on the transcript, bombed out, washed out, flunked out.”

“I drafted a poem entitled ‘Chocolate Caramels,’ “ said a literature and American studies scholar, who noted that it “has been rejected by 21 journals … so far.”

This was not a hazing ritual, but part of a formalized program at the women’s college in which participants more accustomed to high test scores and perhaps a varsity letter consent to having their worst setbacks put on wide display.

“It was almost jarring,” said Carrie Lee Lancaster, 20, a rising junior. “On our campus, everything can feel like such a competition, I think we get caught up in this idea of presenting an image of perfection. So to see these failures being talked about openly, for me I sort of felt like, ‘O.K., this is O.K., everyone struggles.’”

The presentation is part of a new initiative at Smith, “Failing Well,” that aims to “destigmatize failure.” With workshops on impostor syndrome, discussions on perfectionism, as well as a campaign to remind students that 64 percent of their peers will get (gasp) a B-minus or lower, the program is part of a campuswide effort to foster student “resilience,” to use a buzzword of the moment.

“What we’re trying to teach is that failure is not a bug of learning, it’s the feature,” said Rachel Simmons, a leadership development specialist in Smith’s Wurtele Center for Work and Life and a kind of unofficial “failure czar” on campus. “It’s not something that should be locked out of the learning experience. For many of our students--those who have had to be almost perfect to get accepted into a school like Smith--failure can be an unfamiliar experience. So when it happens, it can be crippling.”

Ms. Simmons would know. She hid her own failure (dropping out of a prestigious scholarship program in her early 20s; told by her college president that she had embarrassed her school) for close to a decade. “For years, I thought it would ruin me,” she said.

Which is why, when students enroll in her program, they receive a certificate of failure upon entry, a kind of permission slip to fail. It reads: “You are hereby authorized to screw up, bomb or fail at one or more relationships, hookups, friendships, texts, exams, extracurriculars or any other choices associated with college … and still be a totally worthy, utterly excellent human.”

A number of students proudly hang it from their dormitory walls.

Preoccupied in the 1980s with success at any cost (think Gordon Gekko), the American business world now fetishizes failure, thanks to technology experimentalist heroes like Steve Jobs. But while the idea of “failing upward” has become a badge of honor in the start-up world--with blog posts, TED talks, even industry conferences--students are still focused on conventional metrics of achievement, campus administrators say.

Nearly perfect on paper, with résumés packed full of extracurricular activities, they seemed increasingly unable to cope with basic setbacks that come with college life: not getting a room assignment they wanted, getting wait-listed for a class or being rejected by clubs.

“We’re not talking about flunking out of pre-med or getting kicked out of college,” Ms. Simmons said. “We’re talking about students showing up in residential life offices distraught and inconsolable when they score less than an A-minus. Ending up in the counseling center after being rejected from a club. Students who are unable to ask for help when they need it, or so fearful of failing that they will avoid taking risks at all.”

Almost a decade ago, faculty at Stanford and Harvard coined the term “failure deprived” to describe what they were observing: the idea that, even as they were ever more outstanding on paper, students seemed unable to cope with simple struggles. “Many of our students just seemed stuck,” said Julie Lythcott-Haims, the former dean of freshmen at Stanford and the author of “How to Raise an Adult.”

They soon began connecting the dots: between what they were seeing anecdotally--the lack of coping skills--and what mental health data had shown for some time, including, according to the American College Health Association, an increase in depression and anxiety, overwhelming rates of stress and more demand for counseling services than campuses can keep up with.

It was Cornell that, in 2010 after a wave of student suicides, declared that it would be an “obligation of the university” to help students learn life skills. Not long after, Stanford started an initiative called the Resilience Project, in which prominent alumni recounted academic setbacks, recording them on video. “It was an attempt to normalize struggle,” Ms. Lythcott-Haims said.

A consortium of academics soon formed to share resources, and programs have quietly proliferated since then: the Success-Failure Project at Harvard, which features stories of rejection; the Princeton Perspective Project, encouraging conversation about setbacks and struggles; Penn Faces at the University of Pennsylvania, a play on the term used by students to describe those who have mastered the art of appearing happy even when struggling.

“There is this kind of expectation on students at a lot of these schools to be succeeding on every level: academically, socially, romantically, in our family lives, in our friendships,” said Emily Hoeven, a recent graduate who helped start the project in her junior year. “And also sleep eight hours a night, look great, work out and post about it all on social media. We wanted to show that life is not that perfect.”

“For a long time, I think we assumed that this was the stuff that was automatically learned in childhood: that everyone struck out at the baseball diamond or lost the student council race,” said Donna Lisker, Smith’s dean of the college and vice president for student life. “The idea that an 18-year-old doesn’t know how to fail on the one hand sounds preposterous. But I think in many ways we’ve pulled kids away from those natural learning experiences.”

And so, universities are engaging in a kind of remedial education that involves talking, a lot, about what it means to fail.

“I think colleges are revamping what they believe it means to be well educated--that it’s not about your ability to write a thesis statement, but to bounce back when you’re told it doesn’t measure up,” said Ms. Simmons, the author of two books on girls’ self-esteem who is publishing a third, “Enough as She Is,” next year. “Especially now, with the current economy, students need tools to pivot between jobs, between careers, to work on short-term projects, to be self-employed. These are crucial life skills.”

If it all feels a bit like a “Portlandia” sketch, that’s because it actually was one: in which Fred and Carrie decide to hire a bully to teach grit to students, one who uses padded gym mats to make sure the children don’t actually get hurt.

Add “teaching failure” to nap pods (yes, those exist) and campus petting zoos (also common), and you’ve got to wonder, as a cover story in Psychology Today questioned last year: At what point do colleges end up more like mental health wards than institutions of higher learning?

“Look, I don’t think there’s anything fundamentally wrong with trying to create experiences that are calming,” said Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist at Penn. “But I’d like to spend a bit more time figuring out what’s causing those stresses.”

Researchers say it’s a complicated interplay of child-rearing and culture: years of helicopter-parenting and micromanaging by anxious parents. “This is the generation that everyone gets a trophy,” said Rebecca Shaw, Smith’s director of residence life. College admissions mania, in which many middle- and upper-class students must navigate what Ms. Simmons calls a “‘Hunger Games’-like mentality” where the preparation starts early, the treadmill never stops and the stakes can feel impossibly high.

And there’s the adjustment, for many high-achieving students, of no longer being “the best and brightest” on campus, said Amy Jordan, the associate dean for undergraduate studies at Penn. Or what Smithies call “special snowflake syndrome.”

“We all came from high schools where we were all the exception to the rule--we were kind of special in some way, or people told us that,” said Cai Sherley, 20, seated in the campus cafe. Around her, Zoleka Mosiah, Ms. Simeon and Ms. Lancaster nodded in agreement. “So you get here and of course you want to recreate that,” Ms. Sherley said. “But here, everybody’s special. So nobody is special.”

Social media doesn’t help, because while students may know logically that no one goes through college or, let’s be honest, life without screw-ups, it can be pretty easy to convince yourself, by way of somebody else’s feed, “that everyone but you is a star,” said Jaycee Greeley, 19, a sophomore.

It is also a culture that has glorified being busy--or at the very least conflates those things with status. “There’s this idea that I’m not worthy if I’m not stressed and overwhelmed,” said Stacey Steinbach, a residential life coordinator at Smith. “And in some sense to not be stressed is a failing.”

It’s what Ms. Simmons calls “competitive stress”: the subject of her afternoon workshop on the campus lawn, to which she was luring students with ice cream and bingo.

When students arrived, the sundaes were there. But the bingo cards were a little different--filled with things like “I have 20 pages to write tonight,” “I’m too busy to eat” and “I’m so dead.” It was called “Stress Olympics.”

“It’s basically a play on competitive suffering,” said Casey Hecox, a 20-year-old junior. “It’s when we’re like, ‘I have three tests tomorrow.’ And then someone’s like, ‘I have five tests tomorrow, and all I’ve eaten is 5-hour Energy, and my dog is sick.’”

[dbtrilogy2]

Shut it Down(7)

Mona

Uh school...the hell hole for everyone under law to attend. This place brings me down but it's ok because after school is what important. A game is coming up soon so we have cheer practice. It's an important game at that an away game with our rival school which oddly is the school dad went to. Apparently that's how mom and dad met. Anyway after that me and Stanley are going with mom and the aunts shopping for outfits for uncle Max pre-grand opening. See school is just a holding cell until adults are ready to deal with us again.

"Alright ladies now this practice is very important. We are going to the first away game of the new season and it just so happen to be with those bums downtown." The head rolled her eyes standing in front of us all. "We are gonna practice our team build up cheers and the taunting cheers starting with that one from the freshmans."

She clapped and we all stood getting ready to start stretching. Stanley and I were rocking our Ivy Park gear which by the way is a line coming out by queen B herself. Dad got the hook up and we got some early stuff to flaunt and probably some free promo.

"Cute shorts guys. What's ivy park?" One of the girls asked.

"Oh just a up coming clothing line from someone special." I smirk.

As we are finishing up our stretches the basketball team came in. They whistle at us like little fuck boys.

"Lookin good in those shorts Stanley!" One of them yelled over.

We all giggled at her pink face. The coach came in blowing his annoying whistle having them start their drills just as we start.

"Ok let's do hustle." The captain said.

We get in a straight line facing the team doing the stomp clap combo.

*H-H..HUS..T-T..TLE H-U-S-T-L-E hustle guys hustle hustle cobras hustle!*

"Ok next one let's go!"

*explode-ignite the cobra team is DYNAMITE DYNAMITE we're DYNAMITE we're tick tick tick tick BOOM! DYNAMITE!*

Xdance

We worked on other cheers then ended practice. We changed and wait back in the gym for mom to come pick us up. I was on my phone while Stanley was doing homework. I probably should be but I'll just wait until later it's Friday why rush?

"Sup ladies." Julian came sitting on the seat below us.

"Hey...you stink." He flipped me off which I just smiled at and blew a kiss. He picked up my bag of berry skittles taking some. "Hey stop! What do you want?"

"Just came to see what y'all still doing here for?"

"Mom is picking us up to go shopping for uncle Max restaurant." Stanley told him keeping her eyes on her homework.

"Dope. You look nice Stanley."

Scrunching my face I peak up. He was standing now in front of her smiling all wide and shit. Stanley blushed combing her fingers through her hair.

"T-thanks."

The coach called him back over. When he was far enough I took her folder getting her attention. "What the hell was that?"

"A compliment?"

"Nah don't act like that was a everyday compliment. He bit his lip at you!"

"So? Why you making it a big deal?"

"Maybe because you not only blushed but you did that thing in your hair with your fingers!" I've noticed those two lately and it's starting to look like something. "Does he like you ah do you like him!?"

"What I-I don't know what your talking about...your crazy." She chuckled taking back the folder.

"Oh my god Stanley you do like him! Wait no ew he's your cousin." I stepped down to the seat in front of her.

"Technically he's not...we are not related in anyway." She shrugged making me smile and hit her. "Ow stop!"

"You like him!"

"Could you be any louder?"

"So you do?"

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't say no either." She peaked up at me. "I knew something was up he always be all extra nice to you oh and he won you that poodle that you suddenly can't sleep peacefully without."

She cover her face clearly blushing. "Can you please stop?"

"Awwwwww this is so cute!"

"Whatever he probably doesn't even like me back."

"Bitch....shut up yes he does. He probably just doesn't know how to tell you guys are weird when they like a girl. When their younger they hit us when their older they act like we're another species."

Sitting back in my seat we watched them run drills or whatever. Julian got the ball doing a bunch of tricks. He stepped to the line looking over quickly then shot letting the net make a sound. Looking back over he points at us. Laughing I shake her.

Mom text us to come out. On the way I catch Sam in the halls.

"Baby!" He looked back chuckling catching me when I ran into his arm. "Why are you here?"

"Debate team it just ended. My brother is here picking me up. Hey Stanley." She waved.

"Oh ok when's your next debate so I can come see you kick ass." We held hands walking out the school.

"I'll let you know. Text me later." He kissed my cheek heading to a car parked in front of mom truck.

A guy leaned on the hood on his phone. He looked up nodding at Sam then looked our way. My eyes widen as I stopped. He smiled licking his lips walking back over to the driver side.

"Mona stop that's a grown man." Stanley hit me.

"So he was eyeing me." I smirk.

"Yeah whatever...jailbait."

"Shut up!"

Camila

"How was school girls?

"Same way it always full of simple book stuff ignorant kids and asshole teachers."

Sighing I look back at Mona while Isabel and Rebecca laughed.

"You are your mothers child." Isabel said patting her head. "I hope you getting good grades tho hate the place all you want without education your just another pretty face."

"Of course I get good grades which is why I stay with haters. They just mad because I'm beautiful, I'm smart, I'm talented and I got a fat-"

"Mona!" Rebecca and Isabel even Stanley started hollering laughing. "I knew I should've beat you more when you were younger."

"Girl bye you barely laid a hand on any of those kids of yours cause big bad cammy gets all soft when it comes to her kids." Rebecca teased.

"Shut up not everyone enjoys hitting their kids like you psycho mom."

"Hey I'll take that name proudly." She flipped her hair back. "Drive faster damn it!"

"Where are we going anyway what happen to looking for outfits?" Stanley said speaking for the first time since getting in. She's my little shy baby.

"We are but first I'm meeting with someone about my own shop. Then we'll go focus on our outfits for tomorrow night."

"Oh your building you own shop?" Mona looked up from her phone. "Hire me?"

"To do what your fourteen boo?"

"I can do whatever as long as I'm getting paid."

"For what your spoiled ass gets everything from your weak daddy."

"Mom your just as spoiled as me why you always dogging me! We should be bonding from how spoiled we both are." She gave me soft eyes.

"Damn...it's like you were cloned."

"Shut up Rebecca!" We all laughed as I pull up to the empty building. A guy in a suit stood inside walking around.

We all climb out heading inside with her. The guy smiled coming over.

"What beautiful woman you all are. My name is Ted."

"Hi thank you for letting me see the place." Rebecca shook his hand. He smiled holding on for a while.

She chuckled sliding her hand back and started looking around with us. It was a nice space with the the paint beautiful furniture it could be really great.

"I can already see myself getting customers into the changing rooms here and Stanley at the cash register right...here. Aunt becca as you can see I'm planning this whole place myself."

She rolled her eyes telling us how she wants to set everything up. She even has a grand opening party in mind already. Ted hands her a pair of keys and a folder shaking her hand again just not as awkward this time.

"So why are you selling this place?"

"Oh uh it was suppose to be for my fiancé but...she left me for zero was suppose to be my best friend. I bought it for her but she's doesn't deserve it so I'm selling it to get back what I lost."

"Damn." Rebecca and Mona both said.

I slapped Mona head glaring.

"Well sorry to hear that I hope you recover soon and thank you very much for this."

"Oh no problem just make sure I get invited to that grand opening it sounds great."

"Sure of course thank you again."

He showed himself out. We waited until he had pulled off to get at our girl.

"Ay aunt becca...I know someone who likes you!" Stanley teased tickling up her arm.

"Girl bye! He can look all he wants but my husband would beat his ass if he was ever to step out of line...if my husband would learn to take himself away from his work." She sighed rolling her eyes.

"Uh oh Stanley looks like we gotta step out for a second."

"No girls it's ok nothing bad happened. It's just Carlton for some reason grew the thought I would like or approve him working all days at all times just to get gifts here and there. As my husband I just thought he would know me better than that."

"Oh yeah I dealt with this when me and Chris got back together. It was like he was handing me a ribbon box every week and I just had to shit it down. You just have to make sure he gets your not like these gold digging bitches out here you don't need him to buy you thing after thing to keep you happy." I told her.

She locked up the shop then we decided to go across the street to the Starbucks for a quick drink.

"I did and I'm hoping he understood. I'd rather him be home with me and the kids over him being at work just so my wrist can be dripping in ice. I swear I love that man to death but he can be so slow sometimes."

"I think that's all men they just get all dumb when they fall for a woman." Isabel smirk shrugging.

We got in line ready to order. Stanley showed us something called a secret menu so we all ordered from there.

Camila:21. caramel snickerdoodle macchiato Isabel:warm sugar cookie Rebecca:butterbeer frappuccino Stanley:fuzzy peach tea Mona:raspberry cheesecake latte

Once we got them and we're ready to leave we noticed flashes. It was like we all thought the same thing and groan all together.

"Hello ladies you all look beautiful." One of the camera men said walking in front of us.

"Thank you." I smiled pulling my shades out and on.

"What is this a family day for just the ladies?" Another asked.

"Something like that." Isabel answered.

"How's school for you two young ladies?"

"As great as it'll get." Mona answered for them both.

"So Rebecca you are a designer mom of two with a producer and designer husband, Camila is a dancer mom of six with a do everything husband...Isabel the teacher mom of two what does your man do?"

"He's a chef in fact he will be having a big pre-grand opening for his own restaurant tomorrow which everyone should be at." She smiled.

"Nice plug there supporting you man...nice. So uh Camila news is your working with an artist signed to Chris label Beats Records named Robin?"

"Yeah in order to get some buzz going on her song coming out soon I'll be doing choreography to the song."

"Ok so you supporting the artist or your husband?"

"Um both...she has a uh interesting voice and style of music." I sighed finally reaching the car.

"Oh good to know one of you is nice. Not sure if you knew but she was asked about you doing this and according to her it's more a privilege to you."

I climb in starting up the car waiting for the rest of them to get in. "Oh really?"

"Yeah she tweeted how she's afraid you might not be able to live up to your older work now."

"Mhm ok thanks for that have a nice day." I pull off quick. "I hate sneaky bitches!"

"Ay this chick went on a interview!" Mona yelled. "Ma turn on the blue tooth."

"So being that you are on the label of Christopher Washington have you been able to meet his wife the wonder dancer?"

She laughed. "Um wonder dancer? I will say Camila is amazing I am a fan but I mean come on it's been a while and she has six kids now the two youngest probably aren't even potty trained yet. That's no shade or anything but my song Work is up beat it's a get turnt up I don't want it to be to much for her."

I chuckled hitting the wheel. People have been leaving me the hell alone letting me do what I do!

"See this is why I use to be that bitch somebody always testing me and when I get at they neck...suddenly I'm the crazy one!?"

I dropped of Rebecca and Isabel at their homes then took me and my girls home.

"Don't even listen to that trick ma you still got it." Stanley winked nudging me.

It was about time to start on dinner before Chris and the other got here but I'm still tripping. This bitch out there trynna make people doubt me because I done got a little older and had more kids but that hasn't changed a thing. This dance about to shut everybody the hell up hopefully for good.

@FirstLadyW:five kids later age ain't nothin but a number #haterswillcallphotoshop