#case in point: i almost tagged this post as ooc

[stsgluver]

𝐒𝐍𝐀𝐏𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓 𝐏𝐓.𝟒 — gojo satoru

synopsis. nobara can’t find the dvd anywhere and gojo has a decision to make

wc. 4k

tags. fluff, angst (kinda), reader is described as fem, possibly ooc gojo (my bad), cliffhanger-ish, any spelling mistakes blame on my cats, possible plotholes

a/n. several things to address: firstly my description of dvds and how they work ARE SO FLAWED IK DON'T JUDGE. secondly, look I get how rct works so not everything I say is accurate but like this is also about 2d men so who's to judge. finally I'm not too sure about this chapter so if its shit lmk BUT I HOPE YOU ALL LOVE IT THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT <333 ily all but I do have upcoming exams so the ending(s), won't be posted till possibly early February as I have to get back to studying :(

previous part / final part / series masterlist

“guys we’ve lost it.” nobara pushed up her mattress, phone pressed between her ear and her shoulder as she peered beneath the wooden slats. all there was was her suitcase and a bag from an expensive shop she’d convinced gojo to buy for her. “it’s gone. poof. here once and now it’s not.” the ‘it’ in question being the dvd they’d treasured for the last few weeks (well, yuuji and nobara anyways).

after gojo had taken the dvd – unbeknownst to the first years – nobara had ended up sleeping for the next fourty eight hours, and then afterwards spending several days catching up on the classwork she’d missed. she hadn’t had the time or energy to force her classmates into another movie night so now here they were, almost a week since it was last touched, finally realising its disappearance.

“do you want me and megumi to come help?” yuuji asked tentatively as he heard her curse as she dropped the mattress back down. nobara sighed, glancing around at the chaos she’d created. her room was a mess – drawers half open and half her clothes and books on the floor in case the dvd had slipped into a pile by accident. 

“it’s not in my room,” she said adamantly, pushing her hair back from her face in frustration as she struggled to piece together the final moments she had with the dvd. she could remember sending megumi away, beginning her little day of research and even some of the videos she watched (the arcade and the christmas reunion), but then she fell asleep and everything was hazy from there.

“when was the last time you had it?” megumi asked and nobara felt her eye twitch like she hadn't retraced her steps a million times already.

“the first day i was off sick. i was watching a few–”

“without us?” the pink haired sorcerer cut in with a gasp.

“what else was there to do?” nobara argued back with no bite but he quietened down nonetheless. 

a moment of silence settled between the three as each tried to figure out where it could have been misplaced or who could’ve accidentally picked it up. if nobara had dropped it somewhere outside of her dorm, could one of the older years taken it?

nobara was brought out of deep thought by yuuji flippantly asking: “did you watch any after sensei came to see you?” she froze at the implication of his words. at no point could she recall their teacher ever coming in to check on her – it had always been either yuuji, megumi or maki. 

“what?” 

several hours later, the three first years found themselves huddled on the benches, nobara in the middle and the boys either side of her. in front of them were the second years and gojo – the latter having said something to annoy maki as yuuta held her back from making a swing at their laughing teacher. the second year teacher was off ill today so the larger class meant that the three had a distraction as they tried to figure out what their next step was – if they even had one at this point.

the assumed facts were as such: the first years were no longer in possession of the dvd, and gojo had it. though there was little doubt that this was true, it didn’t stop them questioning the possibility – after all, megumi had pointed out, there’d been no alter in his behaviour whatsoever since the minute he’d checked on nobara. surely, even the strongest would be noticeably affected by a disk that immortalised a happiness and innocence he’d never be able to return to.

but then again, maybe this was just another thing that separated gojo from the rest of society. being the strongest came before all else, he didn’t have the time to mourn resurfaced memories.

“maybe he just doesn’t have it,” yuuji suggested.

“he has to,” nobara reaffirmed. at this point they’d exhausted all other options about where it could possibly be and surely they would have heard if one of the older years found what they had. “would he tell you if he had it?” she asked megumi.

“no,” megumi said quickly, shaking his head and leaning back on the bench as he looked over at gojo, “we… he wouldn’t talk to me about that. about them.”

“could we steal it back?” yuuji offered and nobara debated duct taping his mouth closed.

megumi scoffed, shaking his head, “he has six eyes. even if we tried, he’d know for sure it was us.”

“he already knows it was us,” nobara countered, not that she agreed with yuuji’s solution by any means. “which is why i don’t get why he hasn’t said anyth–”

“oi, you three!” the first years jumped apart from their circle, hearts pounding as gojo appeared before them with a smirk toying at the corner of his lips and his hands clasped behind his back. “whoever beats maki in hand to hand combat gets the day off tomorrow!”

“yuuji if you win, i’m taking your day off,” nobara called out as she trailed behind the aforementioned boy running to the centre of the field. 

“okay!”

unsurprisingly, all three first years lost against the second year. megumi came closest to winning but when he tried to use his cursed technique, gojo countered it, catching him off guard and giving maki the opportunity to sweep him off his feet with her staff.

gojo found himself still laughing over megumi’s shocked expression as he fell flat on his back as he stepped past the threshold of his office. even after all he’d taught the boy in combat, with no cursed technique it was hard to overcome the zenin girl’s strength and skill she’d mastered to take on her own clan.

he let out a small sigh as the door locked shut and, for the first time that day, he was alone with his own thoughts.

dropping down into his office chair, gojo crossed one leg over the other as he pulled open a drawer. on the top of a pile of unread paperwork for the higher ups was the dvd the first years were so fixated on. 

he wasn’t stupid; he knew eventually they would figure out he had it and, unlike himself, they’d been way less subtle once they’d put two and two together. yuuji’s speech had tripled in speed, nobara was way too keen on being anywhere but where he was and megumi… gojo couldn’t forget the guilt and hurt in the teenage boy’s eyes after telling him you were gone. it was here again, had been for several weeks, and it was only after stumbling upon the disk in nobara’s room that he’d understood why.

gojo gritted his teeth together as he held the disk up between shaky fingers. it was pathetic, he scolded himself, it was just a bit of plastic with memories lasered into divots in a never ending spiral. it wasn’t worth the heartache.

if he looked closely enough, he could see shoko’s name written on the centrepiece in faded black sharpie. after gojo had stumbled upon the old camera several years after graduating from jujutsu high, shoko had taken back the camera to transfer all of the old clips onto dvds and given him, herself, nanami and you your own copies. he couldn’t even remember where his and yours were anymore, in fact he’d pretty much forgotten about their existence until a week ago.

he wasn’t sure where shoko had lost the dvd for the first years to get their hands on it but he hadn’t worked up the courage to speak to her about it. he hadn’t worked up the courage to do anything more than just spin the disk between his fingers, cry about it for a bit, and go back to pretending he didn’t have the last remnants of his youth in his drawer.

gojo glanced between the disk and the laptop on his desk. it was the last step he needed to take to hear your voice again. it had been on repeat for the last week in his mind; you uttering his name and that innocent question, would you last beyond your teenage years?

he missed it, missed you so bad.

raising megumi was a lot harder without you there; you were his favourite after all, bridging the gap between the two when they bumped heads with their contrasting personalities. gojo was all rainbows and giggles and megumi was everything but. you were a happy medium, creating a balance that maintained order in the home you shared. it was a peace that megumi deserved after losing his parents.

gojo clicked his tongue, reaching across to press a button that opened up a space for the disk. slotting it in place, he clicked the device shut and held his breath as he waited. it took several seconds for the files to load and then there he was again, back in those fields under the large weeping willow that was your spot.

the video was paused, exactly where it had been left, except this time gojo could actually see the screen.

your face wasn’t in it, just his. his glasses were off – balanced on your head if he remembered correctly – as he used your lap as a pillow. one of your hands was holding the camera while the other was held over his eyes to block any sort of light. the only thing he could make out was your cursed energy.

you were nearing the end of your first year and whilst gojo was growing more powerful, he was also growing more and more reliant on his glasses to stop himself from becoming so overwhelmed with the constant information he received with his six eyes. he’d overworked himself that day, as he so often did, hence why you’d dragged him away from the school to the seclusion of the tree. 

your questions about the longevity of your relationship weren’t meant to hold deep meaning, you just wanted to take his mind off of the headaches. gojo would choose thinking about you over the searing pain in the back of his head any day. yaga said that once he had a better understanding of his reversed curse technique it wouldn’t be so bad but until then it was just about riding it out.

gojo snorted at the notion. his reversed curse technique only marginally helped. you were what got him through the days when he’d lock himself in his bedroom with blackout blinds pulled down, hiding under his covers till he felt like he could function in society again.

he didn’t unpause the video, however, instead clicking onto the main tab with all of the files stored. 

lifting up his blindfold and dropping it down onto the desk, gojo took a deep breath before he began scrolling. unlike when the first years were simply searching for the ones with their favourite thumbnail, gojo was specifically searching for the ones he knew focused on you.

he needed to hear your voice again, to play it on repeat until it became so ingrained into his skin he could feel your touch.

gojo halted the cursor over the familiar date of your birthday, clicking on it without a second thought as the video filled the screen. it buffered for a moment, giving him a view of the dorm he’d practically spent three years in (despite yaga’s constant complaints and reminders that dorms were segregated on gender).

in the corner of your room was a stack of plushies that he’d won for you at arcades, and your walls were covered in photobooth photos and polaroids of your group of friends. his personal favourite was the polaroid you had pinned just above your desk. it was the two of you on new years eve sharing your first kiss of the year, sparklers in hand and the faint pink of a firework in the background. on the bottom of the polaroid was haibara’s handwriting as he’d scribbled on the date and a small smiley face.

“happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you!” seventeen year old gojo sung in the video, swaying the camera side to side above a pile of duvet and pillows. you were somewhere in the middle, half asleep and trying to push yourself deeper into the comfort of your bed and further from whatever the screeching was in your room.

you’d never been a morning person whereas he, on the other hand, had a reserve of energy that never depleted. it was what made getting up at the crack of dawn on your birthday so much more entertaining for him. even as an adult, when the two of you lived together in the comfort of your own apartment, he would either force you to stay up until midnight or gently nudge you awake at 4am to tell you he loved you.

“satoru,” you whispered groggily when you gave up trying to ignore his awful singing, lifting your head up just enough to meet his eyes. he would have done anything to see you physically before him instead of watching you through the lens of a camera. to be looked at with love as you did and not a mix of fear and respect. “if yaga catches you–”

“i’m just singing happy birthday to my girl,” his younger self dismissed, plopping down onto the bed next to you. he preferred your bed over his, a softer mattress he used to argue when shoko would complain about him showing up at your shared dorm several nights in a row. that particular birthday, he was pretty sure she’d been sent on a training mission over in kyoto. gojo’s hand came into frame as he ran a gentle hand through your hair, giving it a little pat when you quietly hummed at the contact. “he can’t hate on me for that.”

“yes he can,” you retorted, rolling your eyes with a tired smile. gojo felt his chest tighten – two years without waking up by that very same smile after almost a decade of having it everyday.

“i’ll blame shoko,” gojo shrugged with a grin, kicking his legs up onto your bed, despite your small protest that he was taking up all of your space. like you weren’t just as clingy as he was.

you huffed out a quiet laugh, your elbow digging into your pillow as you rested your head in your hand to stare incredulously at your boyfriend. “shoko forced the strongest sorcerer of the modern day to enter the girls’ dorms? uh huh.”

“woah woah, i’m the strongest of all time baby, i don’t do second best,” he corrected, leaning down to give you a peck on the forehead. you scrunched your nose up at the contact, but even through the viewpoint of the camera, he can see how your eyes dropped down to his lips.

“i know you don’t,” you smiled and gojo dropped the camera down as he moved to give you your first real kiss of seventeen. present day gojo sucked in a breath, willing for himself to get through at least one several minute video of you until he started crying.

the kiss ended all too quickly as gojo shoved the camera back into your face, the flash causing you to squint and squeeze your eyes closed. “now smile and say cheese, you’re seventeen!”

“woo!” you cheered half heartedly, giving in to his infectious excitement. blowing the camera a tired kiss, you shuffled yourself back deep beneath your duvet. “now can i go back to sleep?”

“as long as i can stay.”

“fine,” you dragged out, though you both knew you wanted him to just as much. yaga be damned. the video ended several seconds later and an odd silence filled his office. 

he’d only ever watched several of these videos once or twice – back when he still had you to curl up into his side and reminisce with him and laugh at nanami’s old haircut. if he was being honest, he didn’t even remember he’d recorded that (though he was glad he did).

gojo was more confident this time when he scrolled, his hands no longer shaking as much as they had been as he smiled at the life he once had. a life with you and geto.

this time he stopped at a thumbnail with the three of you; gojo holding up the camera high as the three of you posed like it was a photo. it was at one of only a handful clan events you had attended together, with both you and geto as gojo’s plus ones. he and geto were in matching suits and you were in a floor length dress that he’d spent way too much money on (but you looked so pretty when you tried it on he couldn’t not get it for you).

“hi this is mtv,” you clapped your hands together, “and welcome to my crib.” his younger self waved his hands around in the background (geto was recording), showing off the spiralling architecture that cost more money than fathomable. 

gojo quietly laughed in his office. the politics of clans and these events were the last reason he’d ever chosen to attend them. seeing you all dressed up and running around buildings with a million rooms were right at the top. his favourite had to be when both the first years, shoko and utahime had also been in attendance, but after haibara’s death, hanging around with the clans that upheld the institution that killed their friend seemed distasteful.

“this is my in house art museum collection.” you led geto along one of the vast corridors, pointing into a room with dozens of framed canvases of art from all across the globe. “this is where i come in for inspiration and to truly just feel art you know?”

“i wasn’t aware you had skills beyond stickmen,” geto interjected and you raised both your middle fingers at him.

“art is subjective, di–”

“woah, i have standards to uphold here,” gojo cupped a hand over your mouth, stopping any expletive leaving you. you hummed in annoyance and the white haired sorcerer grinned, nodding his head over to a partially opened door. “we don’t need to argue when we have a whole cinema room to ourselves.” gojo remembered the stain of red lipstick you’d left on his hand when he let you go (you’d refused to kiss him all evening because of your makeup).

the cinema room was massive: rows and rows of sleek leather seats that looked out of place when compared to the aesthetic of the building. this was someone’s home, though it looked like anything but.

“this is my cinema room,” geto held onto the back of one of the chairs as he loosened his tie. he lowered his voice as he leant closer to the camera gojo was now holding. “we used to have two but daddy converted the smaller one into a sauna so now we only have this one,” he said with an upturned nose, and you could be heard giggling in the background at his faux disgust.

you nor geto were from the same wealthy background as gojo was and loved to poke fun at his high status background.

“oi!” an official that was supposed to be watching for any curses or curse users that tried to sneak into the event pointed a light into the cinema room. “you kids shouldn’t be back here!”

gojo laughed, throwing the camera to geto as he grabbed your hand and led you quickly down the stairs to another exit at the bottom of the stairs. geto turned off the recording once he’d grabbed a hold of the device in favour of focusing on not being caught. it wasn’t like there would be any real consequence – they were with gojo satoru after all.

the white hair sorcerer smiled as he thought back to the rest of the night. obviously, you’d all managed to get away – though he had suffered your wrath at the fact your legs weren’t as long as their’s were and you were running in heels. two strikes, but he’d made it up to you by taking you out for ice cream instead of going back to hear the speeches.

it wasn’t an exaggeration to say gojo would have done anything for you then. 

gojo swallowed a lump in his throat as your last interaction came to mind. you were arguing, as you had been in the weeks up until megumi’s birthday as he inched closer and closer to being old enough to enrol in jujutsu high.

the only wish he’d ever refused to fulfil: keeping megumi away from jujutsu.

“he’s our responsibility.” you were yelling at him, desperate for him to understand your point of view and he was walking away. dodging your anger by going wherever his legs took him – anywhere but where you were. “we need to protect him. we can’t protect him if he becomes a sorcerer too.” 

“i can,” he insisted, halting in his place to turn and look down at you. his cursed technique was activated, though there was no need for it to be, and all it did was frustrate you further.

“i nearly died today!” you countered, pointing to your neck with a faint scar. shoko’s reversed cursed technique was almost perfect, but not even that could fully erase the deep lacerations that had almost taken your life. “where were you? you can’t be everywhere and help everyone at the same time. it’s just not possible.”

“i can try.” his jaw was tight as he responded through gritted teeth.

“and if that’s not enough?” you didn’t need to see his eyes to know his were locked directly onto yours, daring you to continue. he wouldn’t hurt you, would never dream of it, angry or not, but how could you of all people doubt him? “what then gojo satoru?” you uttered his full name like it was an insult, “you may be the strongest but he’s not. i’m not. we’re mortals compared to you.”

“you’re my family,” his voice broke.

“yu and suguru were family once too.”

gojo clenched his fists at the memory, at the reminder he walked out after that. you were trying to get him to see your concerns, and he’d taken that as you blaming him for the outcome of your close friends. that was the last time he ever saw you; tears welling up in the corner of your eyes at his insensitivity, at his inability to admit that maybe, just maybe, he too was just a mortal. 

everything you said was logical and made sense – he had almost lost you that day, having not initially received the message that you had needed backup as he was preoccupied with his own mission. by the time he had arrived, the curse had its claws dug deep into your skin and it had taken everything in him not to use hollow purple and bring the entire infrastructure down in seconds.

despite all he’d done to save you that day, he’d still lost you. he’d only delayed the seemingly inevitable by mere hours.

megumi sat up in bed at the sound of two knocks on the door. he highly doubted it would be yuuji since the pink haired sorcerer had only left several minutes prior, saying something about needing to meet panda. 

to his surprise, gojo stood before him, hands in the pockets of his pants as he half smiled at the younger boy. 

“is itadori here?” megumi hesitated before shaking his head. “good,” gojo held up the missing dvd, “we need to talk.”

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if ive missed anyone im so sorry send me a little reminder &lt;3

[chimericalilith]

Entangled Ribbons and Gifts

𐙚°˖➴ pairing. marius x fem!reader 𐙚°˖➴ tags. ooc, smut, lots of teasing, fluff, established relationship, bits of light bondage, both are top/bottom, multiple rounds 𐙚°˖➴ wc. 4.1k words 𐙚°˖➴ notes. inspired from marius MR christmas card. reader is a bit feisty, nickname; miss. first time posting so its simple layout we ball.

Tidying up some gift boxes, you finally finished another long list of gift wraps. Christmas always makes the business buzz, but it’s always so tiring. You sigh as you fix your posture and scan your finger for another list, waiting for you to wrap them all up. As your gaze transfixes on the list and your mind starts to wander which ones you should sort out in the workshop, a jingle sound spurred in as the door open, softly producing a creak of a sound.

You don’t bother looking up, your hand starts propping skillfully. Tying up the bows and cutting paper miniatures alongside carved letters with intense speed. It’s nearing Christmas Eve and you still haven’t thought up of how to surprise Marius, making your job more ironic. Unconsciously forgetting the opened door beforehand, there’s a sudden warmth wrapping around your waist that sends a jolt towards your body.

“Missy, what’s got your face all scrunched up?” Marius teased with a knowing smile, his wrap around your waist only getting tighter.

“Oh, I don’t know Mister. Maybe the fact that I’m carefully putting a wreath together and someone decided to surprise me which almost caused the unfurling of this whole thing. Almost pressed charges for my patience.” You met his gaze, lowering them to where his hand nestled comfortably.

Marius lowered his face to the nape of your neck, breathing hotly against it, lightly grazing your neck. A shiver ran to your body. Before, you slowly continue punching out snowflake papers for the gift wraps but now? Completely stopped on your tracks.

“I-I’m working right now. Plus, people can see us and it’s certainly not good for business.” You muttered, although you both secretly knew that it isn’t that much out of your realm. You did it before, besides you didn’t do anything about his hand that slowly slivers under your skirt.

“Hm? I don’t have any clue what you’re implying Miss. But…well, if you say so.” He gripped your thigh, swirled his fingers around it, and completely let you go. The warmth suddenly left you which inadvertently made you sigh. But that’s beside the point although his visit is an everlasting welcomed one, what’s with the sudden visit?

“With that out of the way, why did you come here? Did you want to put an order for a gift?” You asked, putting a certain distance between you two so he doesn’t try to do anything funny. Again. You spun your body around, preparing for a notepad to jot it down in case he does.

“Yeah. I’m planning to put together this event however I’m quite lacking in terms of this so-called professional eye for the quality. And that’s where you come Miss.” He winked, snatching a folded paper out of his shirt and surprisingly it’s a genuine contract stating my work.

“Well, I’d love to know how it feels to be employed by my own boyfriend but unfortunately, I’m swamped by work right now. Christmas season really is the gift-wrapping business’s main stage.” Lowering your gaze, feeling a tiny chip of guilt chiming in your heart.

‘Ah, no worries, Miss! I just thought that as a boyfriend I can help in terms of business. Which seems it isn’t needed, because it’s apparent everyone wants my girlfriend so much, she can’t even spare some time for me.” Marius pouted, although that pinkish hue peeking out of his ears betray him of how casual he took you calling him a your ‘boyfriend’. It didn’t completely miss you about how you two don’t meet as often now due to how swamped you are with your work. Seeing him right in front of you reminded of how much you missed him. It brings you back to Christmas of last year where you two are practically inseparable. He always readies you to work by propping earmuffs and cozying up your scarf to your neck.

He always made sure to cover up the hickeys well. Realizing your musings are turning to a certain direction, you completely shut it down and cleared your throat.

“…Well, I might not be able to fully help but I think I can assist you in simpler ways! I ordered too much ribbon cloth by accident. I think there’s a lot to spare for your event and it might spice it up better.” You cheerfully added, covering up the indecent thoughts you had while Marius has his eyes bore on you curiously.

“Only if it doesn’t burden you. But that will be super helpful. I’ll make sure my girlfriend is properly compensated.” Marius softly laughed, closing in the distance between the two of you and nuzzled his nose against yours.

“By the way, I think ribbons would look nice on you Miss.” He whispered in your ear, before pulling you into a hug and kissing your forehead. Feeling your face burn up, you pull his collar shirt and kissed him deeply. Tongue swirling until you’re out of breath.

“H-haa…Miss…” Your intertwined lips parted. Before he can do anything more, you immediately let go and push him out of the store. Sticking your tongue out, you look at his flustered face and feel smugness bubbling in your insides. Marius 0 – You 1. That is until you crouched out of embarrassment, face painted as red as the bulb ornaments decorating your store festively.

౨ৎ⋆˚｡⋆

You arrive at the event, carrying big boxes filled with satin silk. It is worth noting that the red and dark-light hue of green stash are abundant compared to other heaps of ribbon cloth. Picking up the boxes strains bits of your muscles that’s only used to meticulous work caused you to furrow your eyebrows, configuring an image of you taking multiple trips back-to-back to deliver it. Seems like your fate is sealed and all you can do is relish in its despair. That is, until Vincent showed up.

Perking your head up excitedly, you hurriedly greeted Vincent. Way too eager to get rid of this delivery and start up on decorating the ribbons instead. “Thank god you’re here Vincent! Am I too presumptuous to assume that you’re here for backup to pick all this up?” You exasperated a laugh, a bit desperate that you’re wrong and Vincent is indeed here to help you.

“Technically, I’m not here for that… But I am the in charge to bring the reinforcements specifically.” Hastily following up his speech, noticing your face falling in the middle of his sentence which quickly lit back up as fast as fairy light bulbs.

“Now, let us haste to the venue for the decoration.” Vincent said, instantly walking with you following with a haste. Upon entering the venue, the smell of cinnamon wafted throughout everything with a small hint of sugar canes mixed with hot chocolate scents. You can even smell the faint smell of the mint. It truly is a mesmerizing event, knocking you back to your senses that this is Pax Foundation we’re talking about so we’re not here to joke around.

“We have arrived at the venue, now if you will excuse me- “

“So? What do you think Miss?” Warm hands suddenly enveloped your shoulder, startling you which shocked you a bit which caused the voice to kick in a soft a laughter.

“Woah! Easy… I know you’re excited to meet me but let’s exert some patience, shall we?” Meeting Marius’s gaze, you see the glint in his eyes. Great, he’s going to tease that about you for the whole day now.

With Vincent nowhere to be found, your focus retrack back to Marius and you crossed your hands. “Hey, aren’t you the eager one to see me?” Pouting your lip ever-so-slightly, undoubtedly Marius bit the bait. His smirk growing bigger.

“Well, if you say so. Now, chop-chop! Get to work, dear Miss.” His face shifted suddenly, refusing to return your gaze. Shrugging, turning his back onto you, and stepping away. What a petty man! You thought, but before your hand reached him out you step back. Not wanting Marius to get the upper hand you decide to participate in this ‘nonchalant game’, aiming for the top spot.

Hence, you begrudgingly start putting up ribbons. Concocting placements that would strategically fit the best in the venue. Slowly, you completely forget the begrudging feeling and started humming to the tunes that played rhythmically in the background. Amidst it, your mind suddenly buzzed. That’s it! You finally know how to solve the looming problem that’s haunted your brain for days. Staring at the ribbons, you giggled. Marius is in for a surprise.

౨ৎ⋆˚｡⋆

Tipsily checking your watch, you see it’s 10.36 PM; 24th December of 2032. You took another sip of red wine Marius prepared you. Cozily waiting for the celebration of Christmas, you decide to spend it in a cabin with Marius. Intending to participate snowboarding, the plan didn’t happen. The snow piled up more than you two thoughts of and so, here you are. Nibbling your olives from the charcuterie board while excessively sipping wine.

You gaze at Marius sitting near the fireplace, deciding to join him. Bringing a giant blanket to cover the both of you, you cozily snug up on him. He embraces you softly, slowly resting his head towards the nape of your neck. Both of you enjoying this silent moment together. Moments pass but the drowsiness never hits you, rather it feels hot. Its like heat bubbling up inside, one look at Marius and you notice you’re not the only one.

Gazing each other, you slowly intertwine into a kiss. From soft wanting kisses it turned into a more ferocious one. Swirling each other’s tongue, panting out of breath whilst your hand crumpled his khaki shirt. Subconsciously, you unbutton few of the top ones. Riding off of the heat, you start to graze your teeth and lick his neck, paying extra attention to the veins.

“Mm…haa… right there Miss…” Marius panted, lifting you up to put you on his lap, direct contact with his clothed bulge. Heat swirling, pooling up your stomach making you dizzy. Trying to keep your head clear, you realize this is the perfect time for the surprise.

“…Marius…. hngg hold on. I… have something to give you…” You whisper weakly, desperately trying to keep the heat inside you from bubbling up. Wriggling your way out of his clutch, you softly put his hand off of your hips. Releasing the intact from his obvious bulge.

Unhappy with how the situation continued, Marius reaffirmed his grip onto yours. “Miss… really? Must it be right now?” Whining, his eyes sparked bits of desperation. Not wanting to release you. Biting back, you shift your fingers to his button shirt, freeing it from him by unbuttoning three buttons from the bottom. Slowly, you caress his abs, swirling it softly. Leaving a ghost of a touch, sending shivers down his spine.

“Now… let’s be a good boy and let me give you something. I promise, it’s worth the wait.” Emphasizing on each word, tapping on each of his abs. He squirmed, loosening his grip on you. Oh, how pretty your boyfriend looks. You wish he knew how his lips, plump after countless kisses you did and his face. His face stained with red from the mix of wine and the feverish heat that intoxicates the both of you.

Taking advantage of this moment, you hurriedly slip away and instantly rummaged your belongings until you find the right one. A red box, filled with beautiful ornaments but most importantly, ribbons. Bringing the box towards him, you scoot just right over to him and opened your mouth “Dear Marius, close your eyes.” Which surprisingly he obliged. Chuckling, you put one of the ribbons to cover up his eye.

“Uh… Miss? What is this for, perhaps?” Grunting, his vision taken away. Marius immediately jolted when you put your hands around his neck and went up close to his ear.

“Now, stay still. Why are you so nervous for? Are you thinking of something…bad?” You exaggerate your voice, sarcasm seeping through while making a mocking gasp. Doesn’t help how this seemed to turn Marius on more, as his cock visibly twitched.

Seeing as he is genuinely staying still, you start to prop up your craft. First, you’re taking the green ribbon, beautifully lush with a hue of lighter grass green. Going from bottom to top, you wrap it around his thigh. Making him buck down while you quickly stop and caress his chest. “Shh, take it easy. We’ll be there when I finish. So let me.” He only answered with another grunt. You continue to wrap around his chest, tying it up with a pretty little ribbon.

Feeling pretty satisfied with yourself, you hastily take another ribbon. It’s red this time. You carefully nudge your way around his neck. Making sure its loose, but he can feel it. You wrap it more times than before, finishing when it reaches his thigh. Nudging him to lay down, you stare at your masterpiece. Your own little gift. Admiring your hard work, you release the ribbon used to blindfold him and look at him expectantly.

“Oh… so this is your little gift to me. How’s it? Tying up a handsome man, very influential too nonetheless. Never expected you to have these thoughts regarding me. Been lonely, hm?” Marius remarked teasingly, but his face melts to a sweet smile. Well, that face is also soon wiped out of his face too. Because you started undressing in front of him.

Peeling off clothes one by one, you scoot closely over to him. It’s cold, and you’re naked. Plus, it’s super embarrassing but that part is soon erased when you start ravaging each other mouths once more. Even when all tied up, Marius still tries to use his tongue to overcome you. You slowly climb up his body, positioning your entrance towards his mouth.

“Lick.”

He did just that, and more. Needing a grip, you start tugging on his hair. At first, it’s a lick, but then he continued – deeper on you, swirling it inside of your clamp walls. Your hips instinctively buck, riding out your high off of his tongue. The cabin floors creak, he starts lapping your wet cunt up with no mercy. Noticing how much you’re enjoying it he ups the intensity, slathering himself in your juice.

“Miss, you look so fucking beautiful… bouncing up and down for me. Just like that…” Marius breathlessly mutters, continuing to lick all your juices. Suckling on your pearl, he coos and pushes hot breaths into it. Making you let out a whimper. Needing more, you push his head whilst jerking his hair, resulting his tongue reaching further into your walls. Clenching on it, you choked on his name and squirted all over his face.

Dazed off of your high, Marius starts to prop his body up. Making you feel just how clearly his cock is twitching, aching to be released. You shudder, the release left you beyond sensitive. “H…haa, Marius…wait….” You feel his hand getting untied, propping them on your naked hips.

“I’d love to Miss… so go on.” Marius smirked, knowing you’re still recovering from before. Refusing to give in to his whims, you start unbuckling his pants. He’s the gift, you’re the one that’s going to savor it. His tip leaking from pre-cum, is enormous. Standing upright you try to line it up with your entrance so it doesn’t slip and oh so slowly, you start to slid your cunt in.

‘Hngg…. Ha….aah….Marius…” You start to move it up and down, squelching noises echoed throughout the cabin. Your hand locking to his neck, needing a grip. You move achingly slow, Marius grunts becomes more and more visible. Visibly gripping the rug till his knuckles went white. You chuckle, nibbling your mouth up his ear while occasionally moaning. Reveling in the fact that there’s nothing he can do about it.

“I… c-can’t. You little minx… driving me insane.” Marius panted, hair damp from all the restraining he had to do. But all his words dry out when he feels you instantly clenching around him from his new nickname, chasing yet another high off of your own.

"F-fuck... didn't know you're sensitive like that Miss..." He whispered barely audible. Hot breaths scorches through your ear. Your own knees start to buckle, pace getting sloppier. Clenching all the while you pull out till his tip and crash down till it hits your cervix, Marius gasped out a moan and you feel it twitch. Skin against skin, you hug till your nails scratch against Marius’s back leaving marks while the two of you chase both of your high. Clenching as hard as you can, you both crash into climax at the same time. Mixing splashes of your fluids, leaving both of you delirium off of the heat.

“M-Miss, please… need more…” Marius whined, which earned a chuckle from you.

“Who’s the winner now?” You flicker your gaze away, musing. You did climax twice and he did only once, plus he obliged even if it was achingly slow for him. Fair game, you’ll let him off this one time.

“Fine.” You sigh, “One time, let’s see what you got. It’d be a shame if I couldn’t even reach orgasm though…” You scoffed playfully, which Marius started acting on. He starts spreading soft kisses. Your nape, your collarbone, your breast. Stopping on your breast, he trails down his fingers down till your stomach – causing an arch down your spine. Closing in on the lower part of your stomach, he starts to circle on your clit.

“F-fuck… you’re so wet. And you said no orgasm? Minx.” He hisses, jamming one finger into you ruthlessly. Your chest heaves, sucking in how expertly he’s using his finger to flicker in-between your walls. Increasing his digits, he jammed two fingers inside you. Relishing in the way you’re grinding against his hand, pinching your pearl which earned a shriek from you. But just before you’re so close… he lets it out.

“What’s that…f-for, Marius!?” You breathed heavily, sounding more desperate than you intended to.

“That’s what you get for trying to play by yourself. Now, open up.” Spreading your hips apart, Marius slid his cock in one thrust. Choking a sound, you grab him hastily for support. It’s an insanely different feeling from before. The intensity, different.

“Hng… Fuck. You’re s-so tight. Loosen up a bit…. will you…?” Hastening the pace, wet slapping sounds wafts through the cabin. Pressing on the bulge inside your stomach, Marius put another stimulation towards you. Trying your best not to lose through the haze of it, you scratch more and more of his back. Each thrust intensified, making louder noises, you start wrapping your legs around him.

“M-Marius…close…. Keep it going….” You blabbered, clenching. Moaning right up to your ear, Marius starts to lose his pace and his thrusts becomes sloppier. Pressing more tightly towards your bulge, you squirm and choked up a tired moan. Feeling you climax, Marius grunts and thrusted a few more till he also climaxed. Relieved, you start propping up your stiff muscles to relax. Only to behold the sight of Marius’s cock, still hard and ready for another round.

“Oh, come on now, Miss. Finish what you started!” Marius whined, which resulted in a pout. You refuse to relent; you already gave him one chance. Maybe you’re lenient with him sometimes, but that’s not today. Huffing, you thought of an idea.

“Okay.”

“Really? We- “

“However, there’s a requirement. You can’t go in. At all.” Sharply cutting him off, you scoffed. This sure is a payback for fucking you so hard before that your hips are basically sore. You see his face falling off.

“Th-that’s not fair.” Marius stuttered, dumbfounded over your answer.

“Well, you wanted something and I rewarded you. Won’t you reward me now for this thing I asked of you Marius. Please?” You mockingly pouted, wishing him to take the bait. He did take it, marvelously. He scoots over out of desperation and softly touched your thigh.

“So, anything… as long as it isn’t your clit can do right?” You slowly nod, starting to grapple what he meant by that. You spread your thigh open, cocking your head high. Signaling agreement to what he’s about to do.

“Well, good luck. Third’s time the charm after all… hm.” You hum, feeling happy over your plan working out. Every single one! Flawlessly. You sense a rubbing in your thigh and your head that’s up at the clouds drags back down to earth again. Flickering your gaze towards Marius. He starts speeding up, grinding against your thigh. Shoveling down all his embarrassment against his desires that’s burning him up. Panting and moaning, making a slobbery mess of himself. You position your thigh to assist him, scooting closer and humming on his ear. Teasing him, you sucked on his neck which propelled him to climax. An orgasm for a hickey, quite an equivalent exchange isn’t it.

౨ৎ⋆˚｡⋆

That was intense. You liked it, and Marius liked it though. However, it did take all the stamina out of you. You’re spent. Drowsily, you try to stand up. Hips being sore, the result of foul play of Marius. You wince, going back to your bed. But you can’t go to bed before taking a bath, that’s simply just isn’t an option. So, you sit. Contemplating on what to do.

Setting down bits of his work that he’s been doing, Marius slides to your side of the bed. Moving your hair to one side, resting his head carefully upon your neck while pulling you into a deep hug. He’s so tender with how he moves, careful not to put a single bit of weight upon your spent body. Slowly nuzzling his face to your cheek, he whispered “Care to take a bath, Miss?”.

He must have realized, breaking into a smile you eagerly nod. Propping you up, he carried you ala princess bridal style. Grinning, Marius strides towards the bathroom where a bathtub sits at the center of the bathroom with a bunch of lotion, creams, soaps, shampoo splayed out. Putting you down on a stool, he starts leveling the level of warmth for the water running through the bathtub. Busying himself with picking scents of soaps and shampoos, flickering his gaze towards you ever so slightly once in a while.

Once everything’s ready he makes a show out of it by sprinkling rose petals everywhere then insisting on carrying you. Not letting your feet touch the cool marble ground of the bathroom. He sets you in, then starts softly scrubbing your skin with a sponge. Smoothly handles your hair, making braids out of it in the process. He tends to you like you’re a budding flower, such care and tenderness. Every move earnest and once everything is done, he marvels at the sight of you. Making sure he doesn’t lose out; he scrubs the hell out of himself before both of you return to the couch.

“Marius, why did you specifically pick this cinnamon scent?”

“Well, because I noticed you wafting through the smell of the venue a few days ago and humming when the cinnamon ones are sprawled throughout. Can’t have you forgetting what the occasion is tomorrow.” He sarcastically added, knowing that the both of you just spend Christmas huddling on each other, drinking hot chocolates, and relishing each other’s gifts. Chuckling, you give into his arms. It’s ridden with peppermint. Complimenting the cinnamon. A lovely sight, and a memory that’s etched forever for future Christmas that is to come.

You and Marius sat in the sofa for what it seems a long while, when suddenly the hour beeps and Christmas tunes chimes in. Signifying the change of date into 25th of December, 2032.

Looking at each other, you both smiled tenderly.

“Merry Christmas, Marius.”

“Merry Christmas, Miss.”

“I’m insanely grateful for you, Miss. It shames me how word doesn’t justify but I’m happy to be your gift. Used whenever you like. Because, your own existence into my life has been the most magnificent gift of it all.” Marius spur out his words, pink hues covering his face making his glassy eyes stand out.

“Oh, Marius… You’re a gift to my life too. Life has been such a delight, and I can’t see myself without you.” You softly wrap your arms around his body, nuzzling against his cheek and returning his gaze. You don’t need a mirror to know that the both of you are making the same face right now.

You lean into Marius for a kiss, resulting in a long tender kiss filled with warmth. Both of you taste like candy canes you ate whilst sitting with Marius. Snuggling your head up Marius’s chest, you let out a satisfied sigh. Drowsiness washing the both of you, falling asleep leaning towards each other and awoken by the chirps of a chickadee. Welcoming a Christmas morning, unwrapping each other’s gifts with buzzing excitement.

[mina-ribbonheart]

Introduction!

Hello hello!

My name is Mina Ribbonheart. Where I'm from doesn't really matter, just know that if you go looking for it you won't find anything but a void. My pronouns are they/it, or occasionally she/her.

I am a scientist and a tinkerer -- I originally studied mythicals, particularly the artifacts they occasionally leave behind, and how those artifacts might be harnessed. I haven't been able to continue that research for quite some time now, but the progress I made was quite significant, and did save my life at one point.

I am also a sylveon- or, well, a hybrid. I'm pretty much what people would describe as an "anthro", though I tend to just call myself a sylveon for convince' sake.

Overall, I tend to enjoy anything that involves folklore, metaphysics, legendaries/mythicals, electronics, engineering, computers, or pretty much any other nerdy thing you can think of. If you can see someone wearing a labcoat of some variety doing it, I'm probably interested in it to some extent!

I have two pokemon of my own. The first is a Zorua named Vinegar -- my mother gave him to me, and she told me she named him for how mean and sour he acts towards everyone. Except me, apparently, because this bastard is the most cuddly Zorua I have ever met, but *only* for me.

The second 'mon is a Porygon-Z named Debug. They were originally a working 'mon I got to help me debug some lab equipment, but we ended up bonding after a while, and I've ended up modding 'em to hell and back by now. That thing could probably break through almost any firewall or security system you can think of that isn't being actively guarded by other Porygon.

Anyway, I hope y'all enjoy your time here! I don't know how often I'll be posting, but we'll see.

(OOC info under the cut)

(Right! Hello! The author behind this blog is @gracien-system, and because this is a sideblog, we follow from there, and we'll send asks through there if you have anons off.

Anyways, we use parenthesis for OOC and italics for actions [when applicable], but otherwise everything should be context-dependent.

Pelipper Mail is enabled, Pelipper unmail and Malice are disabled. Musharna Mail and Malice are both enabled. Magic anons are enabled on a case-by-case basis, if we don't want it to happen, we'll either post it with an OOC note voiding it, or just delete it.

This blog is likely to cover themes of loneliness, isolation, death, and other similarly heavy topics from time to time. We are *NOT* good at consistently tagging stuff, but we will try to tag posts that deal with stuff like that with #serious-moments.

If/when important lore posts or the like happen, we'll see if we can find a way to link them here or in a reblog, just for ease of access to information and the like.

Oh yeah, one more thing! The mod is an adult, and Mina is in her early 20s.)

[doodlegirl1998]

Wtf is happening in the manga!!??? I just went to anti bakugou/izuku deserves better tags to get my weekly dose of justified character criticals, and see how All might might be dead and does a homage to Bakugou in his final moments?? I am not touching that can of worms until later and never have been so glad to stop reading manga.

However, right now I want your opinion on vigilante Midoriya fics. This interesting concept unfortunately falls into the popularized trope, so most fics are almost the same. I did my own rant in my vlog, but am curious about what do you think of it as you are much more experienced in the criticism of mha

Hi @venting-ghostwolf 👋,

I know ☹️ so much has happened in the manga that I dislike at the moment that I don't blame you for giving up reading.

Also second, don't put yourself down I like reading you critiques and seeing your thoughts and posts too 🤗.

As for vigilante Midoriya fics, I like the premise of a Midoriya (usually quirkless) being a vigilante I feel like that's in character for him. But what I resent about them is the usual All Might Bashing / Dadzawa coupling that usually comes with it with an OOC Aizawa saying that "Of course you can be a hero while quirkless, problem child."

A few things:

Are we going to pretend this response is in character for Aizawa? This guy threatened to expel Izuku because OFA broke his arm! Canonically, he'd expell a quirkless student the first chance he got therefore with a quirkless vigilante he would encourage them to stop before they got themselves killed at minimum if not turn them into the police. Aizawa certainly wouldn't aid in Vigilante!Midoriya's activities like I've seen a few fics make him do.

I can read Dadzawa in a fic, it can be done well but what I resent is the large amount of AM bashing that usually comes with this trope. I can't stand it. Vigilante and Villian Midoriya fics I've seen are some of the worst offenders at this.

To add on to this, I can't stand it when fics have ALL MIGHT someone canonically disabled and who began his life quirkless act OOC levels of ableist, quirkist, awful or stupid to justify Dadzawa (and insert another mentor here in some cases) telling him off.

This scenario can lead to some good #Bakugou faces consequences outcomes if done right especially if Izuku gets some vigilante justice on him. But it also can be done very wrong with Izuku in some scenario's still admiring Bakugou and thinking he'll be an awesome hero which is gross🤢. Or Izuku 'taking the high road' and forgiving him, which is a...choice but after everything Bakugou has done to Izuku I feel like it falls flat.

However there's sometimes #good friend Bakugou which is wildly OOC - just make an OC to support Midoriya at that point because BAKUGOU wouldn't do it being the POS he is.

A lot of the time Inko is also either OOC levels of abusive or dead to justify the existence of vigilante Midoriya which I personally don't like much in a fic - the latter can be done well in some cases, the former is harder to do well and makes me nope out of a fic more often than not.

To be honest I haven't read a vigilante Midoriya fic in some time, I like the trope but I kept running into severe AM bashing and Inko being OOC levels of awful which made me annoyed.

[sp724]

((OOC pinned post time!

This blog is a roleplay blog meant to be an in-universe blog for Sidney Poindexter from Danny Phantom.

Anyone can interact or send asks, RP blog or not. In fact, asks are very much appreciated, seeing as this version of Sidney was murdered and he/his death would probably be well-known.

Supplementary material for this blog (such as the Wikipedia page Sidney mentions in the blog description, as well as some in-universe True Crime videos on Sidney) can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53753875/chapters/136071178

Mun is over 18, but muse is NOT. (Well. Mentally and physically he's not. He's been dead longer than that but... He can't mentally and physically age.)

This blog will definitely dip into some angst and darker topics at times, due to being run in-universe by a dead, bullied kid. I will try to tag things with the appropriate trigger warnings.

Bullying mentions will NOT be tagged, as the posts falling under that trigger warning include pretty much the entire blog.

More information about this blog below the cut.))

Headcanons:

Died after being shoved into his locker right before Spring Break and left there to starve.

Is a fairly famous case in the online True Crime community due to the mystery around what exactly happened, and the tragedy of him being so close to graduation.

17 years old, permanently.

Left the Ghost Zone at some point after the Christmas Truce, because he realized how many ghosts are bullies who are stronger than him, and he's afraid of a lot of them.

He hangs around the school because it's where he died and he feels an attachment to it. Danny gave him the go-ahead to go back to causing problems for bullies.

Tried to get Vlad to sue the Amity Park school district for him, but they don't have a case.

Blogs I consider to be within the same "canon" as this blog (either because I've interacted with them or because a blog I've interacted with has interacted with them):

@danny-fenton-blog (Danny)

@sam-manson-blog (Sam)

@tucker-foley (Tucker)

@mycelialmadness (Dani)

@therealvladmasters (Vlad)

@vladco-tech-official

@inevitablefuturephantom (Dan)

@paulina-sanchez (Paulina)

@/wes-weston-ghostly-blog (Wes)

@axion-labs-official

@insideaxionlabs

@the-box-ghost-blog

@technus-master-of-tech

@thefentonmeister

@jazz-fenton-blog

@ghost-zone-pd

Tags:

danny phantom rp & roleplay - on almost every post

daily stopbullying reblog - every day sidney reblogs a post linking to the website stopbullying.gov. this is the tag for those, so they can be blocked if you get annoyed by the spam.

ask - for answered asks

reblog - for non-original, not directly roleplay related posts

animal pictures - with the reblog tag, on pictures of animals

nostalgia - with the reblog tag, on things relating to the 1940s and 1950s. specifically things relating to the time period of 1944 to March 1958.

colors - with the reblog tag, on things with bright rainbow colors

funnier when dead - with the reblog tag, on things that. well. are funnier to sidney now that he's dead.

deathweek - tag for an event lasting from march 28th to april 7th.

Boundaries:

Pretty much anyone can interact, this includes personal accounts and RP blogs from different fandoms. I encourage people to interact with Sidney, in fact.

Asks that treat Sidney as fictional will not be answered, however. Please pretend Sidney is a real person in your ask.

Other:

The typing style I use for him is supposed to look like the way my grandma types. "Old person who barely knows computers/phones" vibe.

[redjaybird]

JAY’S RP PLOTTING CHEAT-SHEET

Want new-and-exciting plots for your character? Long to reach out to more of your followers, but don’t know where to start? Fear not! Fill out this form and give your RP partners both present and future all the of juicy jumping off points they need to help you get your characters acquainted.Be sure to tag the players whose characters YOU want more cues to interact with, and repost, don’t reblog! Feel free to add or remove sections as you see fit. Template here.

Mun name(s): Yams Mun pronouns: She/her/they/them, but also don't mind whatever OOC Contact: DMs or D.isco (mutuals/people I vibe with only ask for my d.isco)

Who the heck are my muses anyway:

He's a little shit that causes problems and pisses people off for the heck of it. A bit of an edgelord (is that an understatement?), rude, vulgar, and extremely tough to crack if you want him in friendlier stages. Good luck. He's not going to make it easy for you.

Points of interest:

He has various verses, some things may change depending on what verse things are in. Details in his design are important and have stories behind them. In his main verses, he has extra strengthened abilities and a little extra chaotic surprise, sometimes. He has a lot of anger issues and is really shit at dealing with other emotions, often turning them into anger, too, because he doesn't know how else to handle things. He likes to think of himself as a villain, but really he's more like an anti-hero. And he's got a whole revenge case he's trying to deal out. He's got some emotional issues that he refuses to talk about, and others he will just spill because he likes to talk about himself. And he's got trust issues.

What they’ve been up to recently:

Well, this varies for people and verses. Things won't be following the same paths for everyone he interacts with. In in his main f.c5 verse, he somehow got himself in a position where he's gotta help protect the Seeds, because of the relationship he ended up in with Jacob. Everything in the B.L verses kinda got put on hold, but these days its after his Arena fell. A vampire verse, in the f.c5 land, has been distressing him. Bloody City (original) verse is getting more developments lately (yeehaw). Depends on what version you wanna deal with, really.

Where to find them:

In general modern times, usually Chicago. In the borderlands, usually Pandora. In F.C3, on Rook Islands, hanging with the pirates. In F.C5, Hope County, usually in Jacob's region. Frontier, the pirate is in Montreal in the company of Mr. Grant and Mr. Pond.

Current plans:

Plans? What are plans? We'll have to see what unfolds. Anything could happen.

Desired interactions:

Enemies to awkward found family member, enemies/rivals, slow burns of any kind of relationship (because its almost always a slow burn with him), helping him learn to cook maybe? (his whole fear of stoves and fire issue man), dad bird dad bird dad bird dad bird (has an accidentally adopted daughter in some verses btw), etc.

Offered interactions:

Uh, do you like problematic little shits? Do you like conflict? Stories are boring without conflict, after all. And it makes the good times so much more worth it, you know? If you for some reason want him to work with you, however, the price is gonna be a little different. Because he doesn't care about money.

Current open post/s:

Keep an eye out for random IC posts, they happen a lot, and are generally open to anyone if they don't have a tag. (I don't always tag ic posts but I do always tag any trigger warnings when I think they need it.) Some will have specific verse tags, sometimes, just so you know where things will be focused on but yeah, generally most things are open unless someone specifically gets @'d on.

Anything else?:

[I'm not super great at writing, and am especially bad at describing things in words, but Jay will make up for a lot in dialogue because he loves talking. Interactions can inspire art, lots of drawing going on here. Also things never stop developing. I've been running this character for 12+ years now and I'm still developing him.]

Tagging: whoev's wants to do this thing go for it, i tried

[cooper-magnolia]

Hello! I’m Cooper! He/They/It/Faer, 16, licensed pokémon shelter guything, champion ranked trainer in Paldea from Galar, Shaymin chosen, and Naranja-Uva/Blueberry student!

I also have tamato the charizard, marley the zoroark, shaymin, a family abra, buddy the half hisuian Growlithe, Sprout the service sprigatito, itty bitty the bayleaf, my two rotoms riley and alvin, Zorueevee, an alpha eevee, Ponyfant and a runerigus that ran away from my biological mother

I’m mostly just here to hang out and scream into the void i guess lmao

Pokemon intros!

https://www.tumblr.com/cooper-magnolia/759902649213698048/ive-decided-to-start-making-little-infointro?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/cooper-magnolia/759906847923847168/image-id-cooper-and-scruffy-stand-by-a-height?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/cooper-magnolia/759912101847465984/image-id-cooper-and-remis-stand-by-a-height?source=share

what else should i put here,,

ooc info under the cut, whatever that means

OOC: Hey there! This is a PKMN IRL RP sideblog! General Unreality warning both for this being fiction and also because this character specifically has some derealization issues. Also warning for religious trauma, it might show up on this blog. I will try to tag anything potentially triggering that I post on here just in case but as a warning those are the two worst reoccurring themes on here I’m pretty sure.

With that out of the way, I’m Otto/Cooper! This character started out as a self insert almost a year ago when i first joined this community but they quickly became.. Not that. We still share an age, (kinda) pronouns, name, and some other things lol. But he’s very separate from me compared to when I first made this blog. I did already mention this earlier but just to be specific NO NSFW PLEASE!! Both mod and muse are minors.

Also, I’m not super active on rotomblr, I use gliscord for pkmn irl rp more often so you’ll probably see me more on there lol

DNI:

Terfs

NSFW blogs

Dream apologists

Wilbur apologists

MAPs

Rules:

Pelipper Mail and Magic Anons are okay but please do not go overboard! Don’t send like. Entire severed limbs or anything unless i say it’s ok. For magic anons I’ll accept low stakes things (sometimes i’ll accept heavier stuff for the sake of torturing the blorbo) but most of the time I won’t accept anything that directly changes the plot. If heavy plot things are happening or i just don’t think it would make sense to get an anon at a specific time, I’ll save it for later and respond to it when I can!

Pls no godmoding. If you’re gonna do something with your characters that will have a specific direct effect on my character during an interaction between them. (Like. Please ask before stabbing him again.)

That’s all I can remember for now, Have a great day! (yippee i finally finished redoing the pinned post)

oh, and i might be adding arc tags at some point :]

[dojae-huh]

oh im sad that you dislike the new additions to the jaedo tag :( hopefully you'll find something to your tastes. but to put my defender-of-fanfic-writers cap on, in aus some degree of ooc is completely understandable. because they aren't the real jaedo, and aus bend the reality of the characters to fit narratives. just dont make them 100% ocs cuz then its no fun anymore. i guess im lenient hehe. but one of the reasons i rarely read canon compliant is because the ooc becomes too glaring in that case. aus have wiggle room.

about dotae: they were only winning the poll until the jaeyongers got wind of it, then literally jaeyong surpassed everyone else by a huge margin and when i saw it last/near the end it was almost 5k votes. dotae are too platonic to be a strong contender. the friendship rings felt like fanservice and never mentioned or used again since then. feels... contrived? they'll always have their moments though bc they are besties, so shippers will be fed. at least their interactions are not as awkward as some other ships.

now lets get cracky. what is up with jaerose? since you keep up with jaehyun, i wonder if you know how this ship started? (i searched the blog for it and only found one post about it). because i cant trace it back to any particular moment. is it just pure delusion? it seems so popular. there are so many incredible edits of them lol. they actually would look cute together, if jaehyun wasn't so... obviously head over heels for a man.

anyway jaedo is in the small moments people dont usually catch, not on the overt fanservice idols do purposely. that's why it isnt that popular, i guess. which is fine in the end of the day. they have each other and that's what truly matters.

Of course AU setting will change some character traits or the level of their expression (nurture), that's the point of an AU (what if). However, certain core characteristics (nature) should always stay for a character with a name of a real person/existent character to be recogniseable.

It's interesting that you call DoTae "too platonic", when I had debates here on the blog about Taeyong being gay/bi and being in love with Doyoung. DoTae is a ship like any other, there are shippers who believe in the couple (on the level shippers usually do, "in pretence") or who fight over top/bottom division.

Fanservice for 6k USD? Lol. Doyoung wore the ring for a long time and posted a photo of it when he wrote about Taeyong staying behind at home and healing. Tae took the ring for an important photoshoot. However, Tae didn't like that Do used the rings to cover up JaeDo, he wanted smth for them only. I guess with time Do got the memo. I don't think Do fulfilled Tae's original desire to have friendship rings correctly (maybe the model, maybe choosing them alone without Tae, showing it to fans, gifting them before going away to spend time with Jae, etc).

NCT 127 and BP debuted same year, as same gen and from the big3 neos are shipped with BP girls. I think JaeRose gained following when Jae hosted on Inkigayo. He looked at her, she looked at him, her friends giggled knowingly... Some ships gain popularity just because, without a real reason, just right place and time, good content creators, bored fans, "they look good together", whatever.

[whys-rotomblr-hub]

I'm finally done with the first round of updating the map! Which only means I've (hopefully) fixed every gramatical error and gotten almost everyone's notes to match their current lives (or something, I don't know how to express it but I already started writing the sentence). Next is to move the changelog out of the pinned post and to a note in the map, update the tagging system and then the last round checking everything I wrote in a text file while working on this.

Other than that, sorry to the user that used their normal blog as a rotomblr one too and that was going to move that to a separate blog (according to an ooc note I left in the map). I'm sure you announced which blog that is at some point, but I can't find it and it makes no sense to keep that blog there. I'm sure I'll find that blog at some point and it'll get added again, but I'm also sure you aren't reading this (Idk, this is more of a in case that user ever wants to know why they're not in the map anymore than anything.)

[t3chborb]

About me & this blog

Hello, call me T3, Birb, or Borb, whichever you prefer.

I've made this silly corner of the internet because I have an unhealthy obsession with a fictional character and want to contribute to the fandom, be it feeding the algorithms with likes n reblogs n shit or my own produce :P

Unique tags found on this blog:

Borb's Scribbles (art)

Borb's Rambles (thoughts, theories, etc)

Borb's Garbage Dump (works in progress, may or may not get finished)

Borb Answers (ask responses. May sometimes also feature scribbles and rambles, depending on the ask)

Not mine (obvious lol)

Unholy Abomination - universal mature tag, may contain either adultery or robot guts. Used liberally just in case, even if the art is technically sfw

Other noteworthy things:

English isn't my native language, my apologies if my words are hard to read or understand

This blog is hyperfocused on Ramram. Probably a stupid idea in the long run but this account is a semi-throwaway anyway

I don't reblog much as I lowkey don't see the point. This is a place for my produce, not a spam blog. That said reblogs do show up on the rare occasion. I do my best to make up for this by leaving likes and comments on other's posts to show support :)

I'm here to have a good time, not cause or experience discourse, so please don't be a jerk, just block me and ignore me if my existence bothers you

I am, to some extend, a pro-shipper. I barely have any preferences when it comes to Ram ships, I'm fine with just about any (including self-inserts and OCs)

There are some shipping dynamics I don't like, one or both characters being OOC as hell, general toxicity and abuse, underage x adult, non-con, things of that nature, but I'm fine with pretty much anything deemed "problematic", assuming the issue is handled reasonably well (and if it's not handled well... the creator has a right to vent via creative media, even if I don't like said media. Better have them let out their frustrations creatively than... you know. Actually acting on them.)

For Ram fandom's "problematic" ship specifically, I'm neutral on Ramyatta, slightly leaning towards the don't like it territory, but for reasons other than the whole pseudo-incest thing (it's not incest in my eyes because robots don't have genes and monastery titles, but I can see how Ram and Zen calling each other "brother" is offputting)

I generally don't take requests, but if I happen to vibe a lot with a certain concept, I might just draw it

I'm open to talking, but I'm shy and perfectionistic. So please don't take it personally if I don't respond for a while ;-; I'll try to do my best.

I am a-okay with naughty topics, just know that I'll probably be embarrassed about it

About my art:

Krita 5.2 + Huion Kamvas Pro 16

My "style" is inconsistent as fuck as I'm going to be experimenting a lot for improvement purposes

If you wish to use my art, I am fine with the following:

Profile pictures, profile backgrounds, device wallpapers (with credit provided somewhere easily accessible, if it's shown publicly)

Coloring uncolored lineart

Side Note 1: I would like to know about you using my work, but telling me isn't mandatory (provided you follow these rules)

Side Note 2: Almost all art posted has been heavily downscaled from the originals (about 3 times smaller), so they may look terrible in certain use cases. If you want the full res, reach out to me privately, I'll send it over if I'm confident that you won't misuse it

I am NOT fine with the following:

Commercial use of any kind

Feeding into AI generators

NFT nonsense

Modifications of any kind EXCEPT coloring plain lineart

Reposting anywhere, especially Tumblr. If you REALLY want to share my stuff, I'm flattered, but please use links instead...

[the-acid-pear]

Took me three days to finish the Salt Route concept video and god i'm gonna be such a hater im gonna put this under the cut but i don't want my poor ex to hear me complain so yall must suffer on her place

LIKE, MAN. I'll start off by saying the technical stuff was okay. I really enjoyed the music (gonna try find the fight song), the animations weren't perfect but were good enough and the random drawings were nice I liked those jumpscares. There's things like the shaking textboxes and Queen's fight background changing color which were Something but it was fine.

WHAT WAS NOT FINE WAS THE FUCKING LAG. THAT WAS SO FUCKING ANNOYING WHY ON EAAARTH DID THEY ADD LAG⁉️

Anyway even if you overlook the lag, the real problem of this video is the story on its own, which is arguably the most important part.

(also there were some issue with the pacing but more on that later-)

This recreation respected the main story beats but added sooo much in between. And some of it was alright! I loved the fucking Roulx bit so much and the Swatchling dying was cool too, but... Most other additions felt like so much.

Like, the problem really lies in the fact that you cannot forget what the source material is like. Even during Snowgrave this game remains goofy! Look at Spamton NEO's fight, the dialogue is so sad and yet so funny. HE EVEN TELLS YOU TO GO PLAY MINECRAP AT SOME POINT!

You cannot ignore the sheer goofiness in Spamton tagging along with Kris because he lost his goddamn keys. The video took itself way too seriously, when there was so much comedy to play off on! Roulx at least did his part for that 🙏😔

Unfortunately the absence of goofiness translates as an over presence of edginess. And with edginess comes out of characterness. And lord did this get kind of edgy. Like, I get it, snowgrave, manipulation and whatnot, but they ramped it waaay up to the point it just made Kris seem evil for no reason!

Because we sure as hell started this route but Kris was the one to continue it. Like when they tied Spamton up. What was up with that? Or hell, THE SOLID MINUTE BEATING HE TOOK. The player didn't instruct them to do any of those, Kris did it on their own. And it's almost fucking hilarious to see, but it's played completely straight, it's Narmy as fuck !!!!

Kris wasn't the only OOC tho, Spamton was too. Sure Kris has him at the foot of the canyon doing all the murdering himself, and the Addison bit was edgy but I can excuse it bc 1) I have a soft spot I'm not all hate 2) it was in the dream, but this puppet would NOT care about killing so many. His ass did not FLINCH when giving you the thorn ring. He was soooo okay with you freezing everyone, to act like this would be any different is just untrue.

And!!! And, another thing. The heart ripping off part. I have very mixed feelings about that... I mean, i think it's meant to have some Deeper Meaning? As to justify Spamton's ending? More on that in a second btw; but like, I think Spamton was just huffing copium to justify getting his ass handed by a 13 yo. So it's like... It's the same as I said with Spamton's reaction, Kris wouldn't care more about this than they cared about Snowgrave.

UNLESS they just tried to rip their heart out bc they fucking hated Spamton and couldn't stand being around his annoying ass any second longer, in which case the beating is justified too, but that's just a possible interpretation 👍 KEHEMDHNDDB

Like, so much would've had improved if this video stuck to the stablished in Snowgrave and in the og post, going not for physical abusive but psychological one. I'm sure the post said you had to CONVINCE Spamton, that would've been way more fitting to see! And it makes Kris neutral while we are evil.

But, hey, it wasn't all bad, so let me point out some bits I REALLY liked that I haven't pointed out yet like: the boat ride pic. The little comment as they pretended to be friends about it not being genuine was so good. The Swatchling dying and Queen trying to interrupt also was sick. Roulx, cannot stress that enough... SWATCH'S LIL GOOFY ASS LETTER, SAYING TO NOT BE BLUE. Also Swatch (or a Swatchling but I think it was the bird themselves) jumpscared me hard when they went behind the door. God, and the queen fight too, that was so faithful.

But! It segways me perfectly into my last complain which is ! The pacing of this video was so over the place omfg. There's so many scenes that did NOT need to be that long. Like c'mon, we already had deviations from the original gameplay, you don't need to make fights like 5 minutes long.

Wild to see how good the op was at some very hard attacks but how bad they were at others.

OVERALL 👏 no hard feelings toward the creator I fully encourage you watching the video and agreeing or disagreeing with me but man, how I wish it had been sillier. That's my final review of the salt route concept video 👍

[your-dandy-king]

Murat: Duroc fucking blew himself up? Oh, honey, you didn't need to do that. Larrey will take care of you, maybe ... maybe we can find some mechanical arms for you! I'm sure we'll be able to do something for you, love.

Standing up from where he's knelt by Duroc's side, Murat spreads his hands in a shrug to address Lannes. He's not going to deny it.

Murat: Yeah, I shoved her in a closet. And it wasn't the first time. Virginie is different than us, she's part of this place, and I don't think she can be separated from it in any case. She seems to appear whenever Bessie is at his worst. You let her out? I thought I piled enough junk in front of the door!

He sighs, exasperated, and thinking maybe he should have left a signed note behind that said, "DO NOT OPEN." Too late for that now.

Murat: I don't think he fully remembers her. He's blocked out some of the things he did in the last years he was alive, it's ... fragmented. I can't fully explain it, but I know forcing him to remember some things he may not be ready for won't be good for him. And Virginie is one of them, and that's why I stuck her in the closet, and I've had to put her in other places before that.

I've never had to injure or hurt her though,and I would avoid doing so for lots of reasons, mainly because I'm almost sure Bessie would feel it. Just making sure she's out of the way has been the safest. Bessie is connected with everything in here in some way, and everything is part of him.

He sighs again, worried for both Bessières and Duroc, and rubs his face. It's nice to have a face again. Then Murat turns to Lydia.

Murat: So you sang, right? And everything ... calmed down? Is that right? And that's why it seems better in here now, and not so foreboding now?

Maybe, he thinks, calculating, he can use this window of opportunity Mlle. Brown has created, and take her with him to go find Jean and get him out of here. Although, how the fuck is he going to explain Geraud's condition to him now? How to explain this to Helene, that her papa isn't going to be able to give her hugs for a while, if ever. Shit, shit, shit. Well, one thing at a time.

Duroc slumps from where he was sitting, falling back, his entire body going limp.

Murat: Geraud?

Giving Duroc a shake doesn't wake him up. He doesn't wake up at all. He's alive, or whatever it is that passes for alive among ghosts. He's not deader. Yet, he seems to have fallen into a deep, deep sleep and nothing anyone does seems to stir him back to consciousness.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

Extended GM OOC:

Duroc's player has let me know she's has some RL issues going on that may take her away from Tumblr for an unknown amount of time. We discussed how things should be handled during her hiatus, and she agreed that Duroc will fall into a deep healing trance/coma for the duration of her absence.

As things stand now, Duroc is now completely incapacitated indefinitely. I wish @sillybumblebeegirl the best and I hope everything will work out for her!

I'm guessing this also means I'll be fully taking over Bessières from this point on for the time being.

For now, she's asked us to continue tagging her on every relevant post.

So here goes - tagging @askgeraudduroc, @the-adventures-of-lydia-brown, @murillo-enthusiast, @trauma-and-truffles, @carolinemurat, @armagnac-army! I have some ideas of how to proceed, but would love to hear from others.

All Together Again (For Now)

((For all the previous posts here's the Master List for the Phantoms of the Opera Campaign.))

((As last left off, Duroc was awake, Dr. Larrey has arrived, and the party is starting to come back together again.))

Roll call for everyone in this scene: Soult, Lannes, Lydia, Bory, Petiet, Lameth, Duroc, Caroline, Murat, the nixa, Ombre (in Soult's pocket) ((Am I missing anyone?))

As Lannes, Lydia, and Petiet limp their way back down the stairs and out, it may be noted that perhaps some of the murals and paintings have changed. There seem to be fewer tragedies, sinners burning in hellfire, martyred saints, and monstrous otherworldly creatures. Instead, they are replaced by pastoral and even almost-cheerful Rococo and Baroque scenes of fat cherubs, pretty ladies, prettier men, and verdant landscapes.

The lobby is as brightly lit as it's probably ever been, still clean and neat and completely dust free. Duroc is sitting up on the marble floor, his arms gone above the elbow. Tourniquets improvised from fabric ribbons have been used to tie off the stumps, but he doesn't appear to be in that much pain. Disoriented, but not in pain. Dr. Larrey is tending to him.

((Tagging @armagnac-army, @the-adventures-of-lydia-brown, @murillo-enthusiast, @trauma-and-truffles, @carolinemurat, @askgeraudduroc - oh my god i think that's everyone?))

((Everyone seems to have this in good hands, the GM will step in when necessary. OOC questions are welcome in DMs. Go run with it!))

[savedgames]

          —     You know you did well when you lose the game and your team still compliments you.

[mikanotes]

— tired diamond

chishiya x gn!reader

genre: angst, comfort

warnings: swearing, blood, death, killing, guns, probably ooc chishiya, chishiya feels emotions wow!!! /hj aib stuff

synopsis: it isn’t a game of russian roulette that you expected to be faced with when tagging along with chishiya to refill your visas. it isn’t a game of death based on luck that you expected to join with chishiya. alas. you did.

author’s note: aib season two celebratory post /j i’m writing this at almost 2am i’m rly tired so sorry for any mistakes and/or typos i love chishiya btw

The game of Russian Roulette was a simple game. And a well known one, at that. Perhaps because it was so simple.

So deadly.

“The practice of loading a bullet into one chamber of a revolver, spinning the cylinder, and then pulling the trigger while pointing the gun at one's own head.” a boy said very fast and very nervously. You and Chishiya both raised your eyebrows and the boy gulped, “A-According to Oxford Languages dictionary, which is basically the first source of any definition you’ll search on internet—”

“We know.” a girl said before Chishiya could get those exact same words out with a much calmer tone of voice. Even just from this remark, you could tell how annoyed the girl was, and thus, took it out by speaking passive-aggressively. An understandable manner of releasing your anger and anxiety, sure. One of many, perhaps the most commonly used. Chishiya chuckled like he could read your mind and you shared a knowing glance before turning your attention back to the revolver sitting in the middle of the table.

The gun had a bell glass on top of it, making it seem like some sort of piece of art in a museum. The table the ten players sat around was a large, long table with fancy decorations and nothing but a knife and a wine glass filled with water for each person sitting around it. The room was also very fancy-looking, adorned with actual artworks— paintings and sculptures and beautiful, old tapestries on its walls. Your fingers drummed on the surface of the table casually, as if everyone hadn’t been avoiding any movement towards any object in the room in case it would kill them.

Chishiya smiled in amusement at how casual you were. As usual. Perhaps your own way of trying to ignore your anxiety and fear and stress. Or perhaps because you were relaxed in the midst of it all— Which wouldn’t entirely surprise him, either. He couldn’t tell, despite knowing you for a good while, now. You were either really good at hiding your anxiety, or just chill. But anyways.

He sighed and looked away, tired. Maybe he should’ve gotten more sleep. Sleep before a game was supposed to be important. But he didn’t usually sleep much.

“Sorry, he’s talkative when he’s nervous.” a girl explained next to the walking-dictionary next to her. You and Chishiya nodded in understanding, while the annoyed girl shook her head in annoyance and clicked her tongue with a scoff. “Anyways, I’m sure you all know the game, right?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t.” someone said, holding up their hand. It was a girl with an outfit that made you wonder if she’d just left her bed after a comfortable nap. You raised your eyebrows. “What is it exactly? I got what the guy said, but I don’t get it.”

“You put the gun to your head with only one round.” you said, making a gun gesture with your hand and holding it up to the side of your own head. Then you made a “pew” sound and lifted your hand, before resting it on the table. “It’s a game of chance. Either it’s empty, either it kills you.”

That’s right. That’s the detail Chishiya, ace of Diamonds, missed. He spent the entire time of the first round of the game wondering why on Earth the game was a seven of diamonds and not of heart. Every time the gun sounded around the room, very slowly emptying the eight available bullets on the table, Chishiya sunk deeper into his chair, thumb slowly coming up to his lip as he bit on his nail in thought. There were eight bullets for ten people, which meant two people could come out alive. Probably. It was the logical explanation for it, and logic was the core of Diamonds games. But why was the deadly game of Russian Roulette with only players who knew each other not a game of Hearts? He couldn’t be sure he, or you, or anyone could make it out alive because despite there being two spots available for winners, it was still luck above anything else. How could a game of luck be classified Diamonds?

Diamonds. A game of intelligence.

He watched as you grabbed the gun casually, and his eyes widened. “[name], wait, don’t shoot.” he said hurriedly, but when you turned to look at him, you’d already pressed the trigger with the muzzle to your temple. His eyes widened in fear, a feeling he rarely felt due to him forcing it away. Fear. Absolute fear that rendered him speechless and frozen in place.

The key to the game was that nothing specified that you had to shoot your head. Russian Roulette was a game played while pointing the gun to your head— Typically. But if the rules only said “shoot the gun towards yourself”, it meant it could be anywhere from your head to the tip of your toes. That meant that the game was to empty the eight bullets, and not surviving a shot to the head as he originally, dumbly, idiotically, pathetically thought. It was a small detail, but now it was like a big, bright neon sign in front of him, mocking him for taking too long to notice it.

The ace of Diamonds? Yeah, he was definitely a fucking ace. Fucking up this badly was something he wasn’t used to— And caring so much about someone that caring about fucking up came after worrying about their wellbeing was even more unfamiliar. He hated it. He hated it because he was frozen and he didn’t know what to do. Everything was going to be his fault and usually that would be fine but he knew the moment your finger pressed the trigger and he failed to tell you what he realized at the right time that he would lose sleep over this. His reaching hand trembled.

He sat on the chair as the familiar robotic voice sounded the end of the game. He stared blankly at the splattered blood all around the table, at the corpses on the other seats. He bit the inside of his bottom lip with harsh force. He hadn’t felt the burning in his throat that usually came before crying in a very, very long time. He hated that he’d felt it for even just a few seconds.

You laughed beside him and got up. “What’s up? Did you really think I was gonna die?” you said, lightly pushing his shoulder, “Come on, now.”

“Don’t try to brag. You know you only got lucky.” he said calmly, before looking up at you. He smiled as he usually did. “If you did die because you were dumb enough not to understand, it wouldn’t be any of my concern.”

“Says who?” you said, “You’re the one supposed to understand the games better than anyone else. Especially Diamonds ones.”

He remained silent, fingers toying with his bottom lip. You scoffed and shook his shoulders before pulling him up. Before he could even say anything, you wrapped your arms around him. “It’s okay, I know you were fucking scared. So was I.”

“I wasn’t.” he said, not moving away, “Besides, the problem doesn’t lie here. The problem is that it took me this long to understand what was up with the rules of the game. I focused too much on the fact that two players could win and that it wasn’t fitting— I wasn’t focused enough, not on the right things. It could’ve cost us our lives.”

“Even geniuses have moments of weakness.” you said monotonously, but genuinely. “And this wasn’t even weakness. This was just a miss. It happens to everyone. Even you. Besides, you haven’t slept in way too long.”

He sighed, still annoyed, but still not pushing you away. “Let’s go back. I’m tired.” he said, setting a hand on your shoulder to move away, but only turning so you’d walk side by side. “This was a pain.”

You chuckled besides him and walked away from the bloodbath of the game.

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[reidgraygubler]

lonely moonlight (spencer reid/reader)

Title: lonely moonlight

Request: no

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Category: angst (w/ maybe the tiniest bit of fluff); songfic

Content Warning:  thoughts of wanting to cause harm, verbal arguments, mentions of divorce, intrusive thoughts, talks about abortion, mentions of bad mental health, ptsd (?), mentions of anxiety, mentions of needing to get help, someone walking out on their partner, pregnancy, mildly ooc spencer, post prison!reid, swearing (if any) (if i missed anything or something needs to be tagged, please message me and i’ll add it)

Word Count: 6,694

Summary: spencer left his partner and ends up regretting it. 

A/N: howdy partners! This is for @badthingshappenbingo​ (more about that later), blocking off the rejected apology square on my card (pictured at the bottom). this is very loosely based on the song lonely moonlight by ryan ross! this was something i don’t usually write. it’s probably the most angsty fic i’ve ever written... and it’s a little more on the “darker” side. please pay attention to the content warnings, and again if i missed anything, please message me! thank you everyone for the love and support on my other works!! check out my masterlist!

{***}{***}{***}

The days following up to me leaving were bad. I wondered if that’s what it was like for Aaron and Haley. Although, there were different circumstances between the two of them. Same with David and all 3 of his wives. But, who am I to compare my problems with my superiors and their problems. Although, their wives left them… Not the other way around. Not like how I left you.

I should have stayed. We could have figured everything out. But I left. I think it’s because I got scared and didn’t know how to talk to you. And the reason behind why I got scared is a valid reason… I wanted to cause harm...

“God! This is so ridiculous!” you shouted from across the living room. I watched as you looked around the room, at all the piled up books and files. “I just do not understand you!” Your shout was louder than before, causing me to flinch slightly.

“I don’t know what you want from me!” I returned the shout, watching as it was your turn to flinch. “What do you want!?! Huh!? You know I can’t read your mind!” I stared at you. I wish I had noticed you were crying before I yelled.  But that didn’t stop me… 

“Spencer!” The way your voice shook didn’t bother me. But what did bother me was the way my hand started to ball up. It scared me. I took a step back, pressing my body against the wall that was closer than I originally thought. 

I looked at you before I stormed out of the living room and out of the apartment all together. The sounds of your light footsteps followed behind me, and your faint voice calling out my name. I didn’t stop though, even as you begged me to stay. I couldn’t stay though… Not when I wanted to cause harm to someone I loved. 

So, I left.

{***}{***}{***}

I looked down at the file in hand, reading over the case we just returned from. You didn’t come with. It wasn’t the first case you missed, and it wouldn’t be the last. Everyone ignored how awkward and uncomfortable it was in the room where we sat to talk about our cases.

“Hey, Reid,” Luke’s voice pulled my eyes from my case and to look up at him. He nodded towards the door to the bullpen, causing me to follow his gesture. 

You were there, walking in like you knew what you wanted and that you were going to get it. I stood up and watched as you walked in more, scanning the room. Our eyes met and I dropped my shoulders as you walked towards Emily’s office. I tossed my file to my desk and practically ran up to you. I nearly tripped over my feet as I met you at the steps to the cat-walk.

“I don’t want to talk to you, Spencer,” you kept your voice low and your head held high. You didn’t even bother to look over at me. 

“Please, just a minute. Two minutes. And then you never have to talk to me… again…” I tried to hold my ground but failed when my words broke. My throat and lips nearly betrayed me, closing as the last few syllables failed to come from me. “Let me explain myself,” I whispered, looking at you. If I spoke any louder, I’d fear my voice would crack, forcing me to crack and become a ball of emotions.

You stopped right in front of Emily’s office and looked at me. You looked right at me… I honestly can’t remember the last time I remembered you looking at me, and not right through me. It was well before our last fight, and even before we even started fighting.

“I don’t want to talk to you. You lost that chance when you left,” your tone held authority. I was left speechless as you stepped into the office, shutting the door in my face. Emily closed the blinds, leaving me to wonder what the conversation would be about.

I sulked back to my desk and lowered myself down to my seat. I kept my eyes on the closed-off room, waiting for you to leave. I didn’t want to miss what could be my last chance in ever talking to you again.

“How’d it go?” Luke asked as he appeared beside me and my desk. I sighed, glancing at him, taking my eyes off the door for a brief moment.

“She didn’t want to talk,” I whispered as Luke leaned against my desk. He was also looking at Emily’s office. I tried not to slouch, but it was so hard when it felt like a weight was on my shoulders, weighing me down.

“I don’t blame her,” Luke whispered, resting a hand on my shoulder. I swallowed roughly and closed my eyes. 

“Thanks for that, Luke,” I muttered before pulling my shoulder away from his touch.

“Is she talking to Emily?” Penelope’s voice caused me to open my eyes again. I looked at her and raised an eyebrow.

“You knew she was coming?” I looked right at Penelope. She was standing beside Luke and looking right at Emily’s office. Jennifer and Tara joined us, standing on the other side of my desk.  

“You were the only person she didn’t tell, Spencer,” Jennifer looked at me for a moment. She looked at me like I was the last person she wanted to be around. I didn’t realize you two were so close. You told her everything, and I knew it would come back to bite me in the ass. “In fact, you’re the only person here she doesn’t want to see right now.” her tone was cool, and still. And, it made me feel like the bad guy. To be fair… I already felt like the bad guy.

“There’s no need to point that out, Jennifer,” I muttered, picking up the file and looking over it. I tried my hardest to keep focus on the file, but it was so hard when everyone was around me, looking at Emily’s office.

“I wonder what they’re talking about,” Penelope whispered, wrapping her arm around Luke’s before resting her head on his shoulder. I swallowed roughly and looked over at the door before looking back at Jennifer. She was looking at me, her lips pierced together in a thin line. She was angry and there was nothing I could do to make her not angry. 

“Could be anything,” Tara returned. I tried my hardest to keep from rolling my eyes. But I so obviously failed.

“I heard she was transferring,” Jennifer looked away and at Tara. That was it. You were officially leaving and transferring out of the BAU. All Jennifer had to say was that you were leaving and I knew it was true. Again, you tell her everything. So, that’s why you were here… 

“That’s not true! She can’t leave!” Penelope protested. I let out an annoyed sigh. “She... She has to stay! She’s a part of the family!”  she continued. I almost wanted to snap at her. But, I wasn’t angry at Penelope. No, I wasn’t even mad at you. I was mad at myself.

“She told me that she was. Who knows what Emily is going to tell her.” Jennifer shrugged. I could still feel Jennifer’s eyes on me. Like her eyes were lasers boring a hole into my head.

“I hope wherever she transfers to… She enjoys… I’ll miss her a lot,” Tara walked around to her desk, finally leaving me alone. Now I just need everyone else to go. 

We sat in silence, staring at Emily’s door. I couldn’t help but feel my stomach bubble with too many emotions. I wanted to excuse myself to go to the bathroom, but the door to Emily’s office opened and you both stepped out. You guys shared a few more words before you looked over at the group watching for you. 

“We were just… Talking,” Penelope smiled at you. I wanted to glare, but I knew I shouldn’t direct my anger at her. In fact, I couldn’t direct my anger anywhere. It was my own fault you were leaving.

You looked away from the group before walking away from Emily. You walked over to my desk and the group of people around it. Our friends. Our family.

“Just talking to Emily about a few things. That’s all,” you whispered. A lie. You didn’t want to tell everyone that you had put in for a transfer… No, what will happen is we’ll all show up to the office, and your desk will be empty, clean of your stuff. “I, uh, wish I could stay. But, I’m having coffee with someone and I don’t want to be late,” you pressed with a fake smile, trying to convince us all you were fine, even though we all knew you weren’t fine. 

“You can’t leave,” Penelope looked at you with wide eyes. I could feel my heart rate picked up as I looked up at you. “We aren’t a family if you leave.” she continued, her voice pleading to you. You looked at Jennifer, clearly annoyed that she told everyone that you were leaving.

“Penelope,” Jennifer started, her tone warning.

“Now really isn’t the time, Pen… I seriously have to go. I can’t be late,” you looked at her and shook your head. The look on your face was incredibly apologetic and I knew you were sorry for everyone but me. “I’ll see you guys later,” you flashed everyone a smile before turning to leave. “Goodbye,” you mumbled as you looked at me one last time.

I sighed, dropping my shoulders, as I watched you leave the BAU for the last time. My eyes stayed frozen on the elevator doors as they closed, and I could feel a familiar wetness rolling down my cheeks. 

{***}{***}{***}

I’ll have to be honest, this isn’t the first or last day I’ve spent sitting in my office at home, regret filling my head and my heart. The sunset made the room look golden and the rays shone off the various reflective surfaces. 

I needed a change of scenery. My apartment, office, and BAU offices were starting to drag me down emotionally and mentally. All places that reminded me of you. So, I packed a book and other things and went to the nearby park… Which is where we’d gone on many picnics.

Why would I go to the park as the day turned into the night? You know, I’m not sure. I just needed something different and the park was the best thing I could think of. It was walking distance and I knew no one would be there to bother me.

That was until I saw you.

You were walking beside Jennifer on the far side of the park. Henry was running around, playing with a remote control car. Michael was sitting on your hip, his head resting on your shoulder as he slept. And something about that looked so natural to me. If I had known you were here with Jennifer and her kids, I wouldn’t have come. I swear. 

I kept my head low as I walked towards one of the park benches on the far side of the park. With my book in hand, I continued to pretend that I didn’t see you and prayed that you didn’t see me. I don’t know why I didn’t just leave and go to a different park… It was the familiarity of this one that made me feel safe. Or, maybe it was the chance of you seeing me, and wanting to talk.

“Uncle Spencer?” A young boy’s voice asked as a fire engine red remote control car hit my feet. I closed my book and looked up to see Henry standing in front of me.

“Henry,” I smiled at him. I closed my book and placed it back in my bag. “What are you doing here?" I asked, pretending that I didn't see his mom, little brother, and you. 

"Mom brought me," he smiled as he looked over towards Jennifer and you. "She wanted to talk to…" he trailed off the end of his sentence, not wanting to say your name. Jennifer and Will didn't tell him about what happened between us. But he was old enough to know. Considering any event we were both invited to, we avoided each other like the plague. I’m sure he thought it was weird that his aunt and uncle (his god-parents) stopped talking to each other and ignored each other every chance they had.  

"That's nice," I felt my smile falter as I nodded, "Is this the race car your dad got you?” I asked, keeping my eyes on Henry. He smiled and nodded as he picked up the car.

“Yeah, mom said I could bring it with while they talked,” he looked down at the toy. I smiled at him and nodded. “It doesn’t go very fast though,” he looked back up at me and pouted. 

“I’m sure you could make it go faster. With upgrades.” I smiled at him as he placed the car back to the ground. I watched as he drove the car and spun it out. I watched as he moved it back and forth on the sidewalk in front of us until he drove it away and towards people walking towards us. The small red car hit the feet of two people, causing both Henry and me to look up.

At first, I looked at Jennifer. I knew she wouldn’t be mad to see me. The tense expression her face held told me a different story. Her jaw was clenched and her lips were in a tight line. Her eyes were wide, but the emotion behind them frightened me a bit.

Then I looked over at you. Your hand was resting on Michael’s lower back as you held him. Your hair was in disarray that looked nice, but that’s how you usually wore it anyways. You had bags under your eyes, they were a deeper color than they were before, it was a clear sign that you had obviously lost sleep. And then you looked at me, fear and sadness in your eyes. The golden sunshine shone across your face, highlighting the important details. The details I loved. But, also details that you didn’t deserve to have, all because of the stress I caused.

I rushed to stand to my feet, my bag falling off the bench and spilling its contents all over the ground. I didn’t care though. I just wanted to talk to you. 

“H-hey,” I looked at you, then back at Jennifer, then back at you. You kept your eyes on me as I fumbled over my words, trying to find the right thing to say. “I was just… I just wanted to come out to read and go for a walk,” I spoke, trying to find a pliable excuse to be here, at the public park. It wasn’t even an excuse. I was actually here to read. I don’t know why I need to explain why I was here.

“You’re allowed to be at the park, Spencer,” you whispered back. I stared at you before I realized something. You spoke to me. And it was the first time too since you transferred out from the BAU. We stared at each other, feeling an awkward tension grow between us.

Jennifer cleared her throat, causing me to rip my eyes from you and look at the ground. I silently cursed myself when I noticed all my belongings on the ground. I fell to my knees and pushed all my things back into my bag.

“We should get going. I know Will should be home soon and we can get a head start on dinner.” Jennifer spoke, causing me to snap my head to look at her. You were staring at where I was standing, but not at me. 

“Yeah, yeah… That’s probably a good idea,” you looked at Jennifer and smiled, “Michael here is getting a little bit heavy,” you let out a very forced laugh. I stood back up before brushing the debris off my pants. You and Jennifer (even Henry) look at me with wide eyes.

“Can we talk?" I asked, nearly begging, as I looked at you. You refused to look at me again. And I could see a familiar wetness in your eyes. My shoulders instantly sagged as I looked at you and watched tears begin to form in your eyes. My heart sank to my stomach, which then sunk to the ground. “Please?” I whispered.

“Henry, are you ready to go?” You looked down at the boy, who was holding his red race car. I swallowed roughly, watching as you offered Henry your hand. You looked back at me before leading Henry away from Jennifer and I. 

I reached out my hand to stop you but failed when Jennifer stepped in front of me. I looked back at her, ready to protest her stopping me. 

“Jennifer, please,” I thought I shouted, but I’m sure it was hardly above a whisper. She dropped her hand from my arm and looked at the ground. I watched as you brought Henry and Michael back to the Jaraeu-LaMontange mini-van. Something about the way you carried Michael and helped Henry looked very natural. I couldn’t place my finger on why though.

“Leave her alone,” Jennifer whispered, pulling my attention back to her. I looked at her with wide eyes, my lips parted my mouth dry of words.

“I need to talk to her,” I whispered as I gathered my things again. I put the strap of my bag back over my body as I held a death-grip on my book. “I have to talk to her,” I turned to leave, but stopped when Jennifer grasped my hand again. “Jennifer,” I warned as I looked at her.

“She doesn’t want to talk to you right now. Okay? Give her time to figure stuff out,” she spoke. Her tone was low and had a certain demanding tone to it. “She went from having you in her life 24-7 to not having you at all. Give her time, Spence,”

“Okay, okay,” I whispered as I looked to the ground, “How much time?” I looked back up at Jennifer with tears threatening to fall. 

“I don’t know. You left her without an explanation, Spence. And she needs time to heal… To fix herself… To rebuild herself… She ju-” She bit her lips together to stop herself from saying something. I looked at her and raised an eyebrow.

“What’s wrong? She just what?” I dropped my shoulders as I looked at her. She looked at me and shook her head.

“Just leave her alone for right now. She’ll come to you when she’s ready,” Jennifer half-warned. I went to argue back but failed when she looked at me before leaving. I sat back down on the bench and buried my face into my hands. A frustrated sigh left my lips as I pushed my fingers through my hair. 

I looked up and over at the mini-van. You and Jennifer were sitting in the front seat, talking to each other. And I noticed that you looked over at me once or twice. I let out another frustrated sigh before standing up and walking back home.

The thoughts and memories filled my head of when you were mine and I was yours and before I made a stupid decision. The sunshine was almost fully gone by the time I returned home and it was safe to say this was another day I lost filled with regret.

{***}{***}{***}

My body jerked, forcing me to wake up and sit in bed. The bedding and blankets pooled around my waist as I felt the bed beside me. There was a moment where I forgot you weren’t there and panic settled in my stomach. And then I remembered. 

The darkness of the room started to feel claustrophobic and I panicked in the night. I nearly knocked everything off my nightstand as I went to turn the lamp.

You would always tell me not to be afraid of the dark (or anything for that matter). But, ever since I left and we no longer saw each other, I was afraid. I looked over at where you once slept and reached my hands out over the blankets to feel for you. Even though I knew you weren’t there, I wished you were.

I sighed deeply before kicking the blankets off me. My body was on auto-pilot, and I found myself in the kitchen. The tea kettle was on the stove, waiting for the water to warm up. The clock on the stove read 3:13 in the morning. 

The moonlight illuminated the living room, the silver lighting hitting the coffee table, floor, and the various stacks of books. It sort of reflected my mood for the last few months. I wondered if you felt this way. Probably not. 

I sat down on the couch and turned the lamp on. A random book was in my hand, and my nose was in it. I was not retaining any of the information as I read, or looked at the words. 

A knock on the door honestly scared me. I wasn’t expecting anyone at my home at 3:30 in the morning. I looked down at my book before placing it on the couch beside me. I grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around my body, hiding my pajamas from whoever was at the door. 

I don’t know who I was expecting when I looked through the peephole. Maybe it was a hitman coming to kill me. No, no that’s entirely too dark. Serial Killer? Maybe a burglar? No, burglars don’t knock. Could be Luke coming over, drunk because the woman he was sleeping with told him to leave. Or, maybe Penelope wanted to have a late-night Doctor Who marathon. Of all the people and things to be at my door… 

I wasn’t expecting you.

You were standing on the other side, your eyes red and puffy from crying and your hair still in messy disarray (this time it was because of restless sleep and a clear emotional breakdown). I couldn’t tell if the makeup you had on during the day was washed away by your tears, or if you cleaned your face before the day ended. But I could see faint streaks on your cheeks. You wore a pair of flannel pants with a very big sweater. 

It had been a few days (okay, weeks… Month and a half…) since I saw you at the park. My heart nearly stilled as I looked at you in the peephole. My body was paralyzed against the door. I watched as you lifted your hand and knocked again.

Except you didn’t get to knock, I had pulled the door open before you hit the door. You looked at me with shock on your face. 

“Sorry, I wasn’t expecting you to be awake,” you whispered, dropping your gaze from my face. I stared at you with wide eyes. You came, expecting me to be asleep… I wondered what you would have done if I was asleep, and if you would have told me you showed up to my house so early in the morning (or late at night. Depends on how you look at it.).

“No, no… It’s okay. I was awake anyway. I was working on some files,” I lied and waved my hand off like it was nothing. “No, wait… Sorry. I was already awake. I was reading The Narrative of John Smith. I wasn’t doing any extra work,” I looked back at you. 

“Why… Why were you awake?” you asked, furrowing your eyebrows. I watched as you brought your hand to your lips and bit your thumbnail. That was one of the many nervous ticks you had, and I wanted nothing more than for you to not be nervous around me. 

“Couldn’t sleep. So I thought I’d have some tea and read a little bit.” I looked over my shoulder towards my book and teacup. I quickly looked back at you, scared you wouldn’t actually be there when I looked back. I let out a sigh of relief when my eyes landed on you. “What are you doing here?” I watched as you looked at the door jamb.

“I, uh, I’m ready to, uh… I’m ready to talk,” you whispered as you looked at me. You folded your arms over your chest as you kept your eyes on me. This was the first time I noticed that you looked different. And not because you were awake at 3:30 in the morning in the midst of a breakdown. You looked different and I didn’t know how to explain it. 

“You’re… You’re ready to talk?” I asked, my voice suddenly trembling as I looked at you. You nodded as you wiped your eyes with your fingers. 

“Yeah, yeah, uh…” you wrinkled your nose as you looked at the ground. “Figured it was time. Been a few months and wanted to talk,” you whispered at the ground. I stepped to the side and pulled the door open more. 

“Do you want tea?” I asked, knowing tea calms you down. You looked back up at me and nodded lightly. You stepped into my apartment (which at some point was our apartment) and went right to the couch. I stood still for a moment before retreating to the kitchen.

I quickly poured the hot water into a new teacup. I grabbed a chamomile tea bag, the milk, and a bottle of honey before going back out to you. 

“Chamomile… I brought you the milk and honey too. If you want something else and sugar… Or… Anything.” I whispered as I sat back down where I once was. I placed the items on the coffee table. 

“Thank you,” you whispered, putting the tea bag into the cup.

“Is everything okay?” I asked, trying to figure out why the hell you were here and if I was actually dreaming. You steeped the bag a little bit in the water, your eyes looking at the steam swirling off the water. 

“I could lie and say yes, but I don’t think that’d be fair to you, Spencer,” you finally looked at me. Tears were sitting in your eyes, threatening to fall. I shifted in my seat, turning to look at you more. “Everything is not okay,” you whispered, your voice breaking. I scanned the room, looking for a box of tissues. I got up and grabbed them for you. You took a few before blowing your nose. 

“I’m-”

“Let me talk… Please, before you apologize,” you cut me off as you looked at me. I nodded and kept my eyes on you. You were still looking at me, the tears started rolling down your cheeks and you used your sleeve to dry them. You licked your lips as you looked for the right words to say. “JJ didn’t want me to come over,” you whispered, finally taking your eyes off me. You looked back at the steaming water. I could feel a familiar anger bubbling in my stomach, that was directed towards Jennifer. Of course, she didn’t want you to come over. “So I left when I knew she was asleep. I think the last time I did that was when I was 16,” you let out a dry laugh before you sipped your tea.  

I stared at you, taking in the way you sat in a moment of silence. You were probably thinking of what you wanted to say. You were never good with words and articulating them. But, neither was I. “You know, like when you would sneak out of your house so whoever you were with didn’t wake up? God, I did that a lot as a teenager,” you laughed before sipping your tea. You shivered as the hot tea went down your throat. “Anyways, sorry… Basically, JJ doesn’t know I’m here,” you momentarily glanced at me before looking back at your tea. 

“I won’t tell her you came,” I whispered as I turned to face you more. I watched as you leaned over and placed the teacup on the coffee table. You grabbed a random throw pillow off the couch and hugged it close to your body, as if it was some sort of protection.

“I don’t think you understand how hard life has been for me the last couple of months, Spencer,” you whispered, keeping your eyes anywhere but me. I furrowed my eyebrows, not because I was confused. But because I wasn’t sure what you were going to say. “And… and I’ve been trying to wrap my head around why you left, and what I did wrong to make you leave, and… I’m still working on getting better… But, I found something out and it broke me back down…” you whispered as you looked over at me. You were very cautious as you looked at me. Tears were fresh in your eyes again, and I knew you weren’t going to be able to control them. You sniffled and closed your eyes.

“What’s wrong,” I asked, keeping my voice low. I didn’t want it to go any louder in fear of my voice breaking the slightest bit. Tears started to blur my vision as I looked at you. 

“Why’d you leave me in the first place?” You asked instead of answering me. Part of me wanted to point out that you answered my question with a question. But I didn’t bother.

“I got scared of losing you,” I whispered and looked down at the couch. That was partly true. I did, indeed, fear losing you. That wasn’t the whole truth… I was scared of losing you but I was more scared of hurting you.

I wrinkled my nose as tears started running down my cheeks. “And, I didn’t think about the consequences and outcome of me just… leaving,” I looked up at you. I left out the true reasoning for me leaving you. I could tell you knew I was leaving something out. But neither of us wanted to point it out.

“You did a lot more than lose me, Spencer,” you dryly laughed again as you spoke. I swallowed roughly and nodded.

“Yes, I know. And it was a mistake. You don’t understand how much I regret leaving. I’ve never wanted to take something back so badly in my entire li-”

“I’m pregnant, Spencer,” you cut me off and spoke. Your tone was filled with authority and you were so sure when you spoke. It totally caught me off guard, I wasn’t sure if I heard you correctly.

“I’m… I’m sorry. Wh-what? You’re what?” I stared at you, my lips parted and eyes wide. I swear my heart stopped as I tried to comprehend what you said. Or… it was going so fast and I just couldn't feel it.

“I’m pregnant. And, obviously, it’s yours. I’ve contemplated so many things. But, I think you would have killed me if you didn’t know,” you whispered as you looked away from me. I looked at you, trying to find the right words to say, but I couldn’t figure out what to say.

Then I thought back to the park. You were so dismissive, which is allowed considering the things I had done and said to you. Or the lack of things said to you. But then I remembered how natural Michael looked in your arms and how you were with Henry and how different you seemed. Jennifer was talking about you, about you just-ing something but she cut herself off… Jennifer knows. 

“Does Jennifer-”

“Yes, she knows. She knew when we saw you at the park… And she knew when I talked to Emily about transferring,” you whispered, picking at the fabric of pajamas. Your voice was so soft, I felt bad for leaving you and I tried to not be mad at you for keeping something so big from me. “Emily knows too…” you answered my next question.

“You’ve known for that long?” I finally found words to say. You looked at me like you were a kid who was getting in trouble. But you weren’t getting in trouble. I was just… Mad at myself. 

“I… I, uh, I didn’t know what to do. And, JJ was the only person I could talk to about it.” Your words were soft and quiet and you avoided me and my eyes like the plague. 

I wanted to be mad… But I didn’t exactly have the right to be mad at you. After all the things I did to you? It wasn’t fair if I snapped at you. You knew this too. You knew me well enough to know that I wanted to be mad.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” I asked after some time had passed. It felt like hours, but in reality, it was only a mere few minutes. 

“Because… I wasn’t sure if I was going to stay in DC… I wasn’t sure if I even wanted it…”

“Clearly you do if you’re telling me,” I whispered and looked at you. You looked at me, ready to protest, but failed when you realized I was right. You knew I was right. Why else would you be telling me that you’re pregnant if you didn’t want it? You dropped your head before nodding.  

“There’s more to you leaving me though, isn’t there? It wasn't just about losing me,” you asked, changing the subject back to me. You didn’t want to talk about your pregnancy that you’ve known about for several months. So, I swallowed roughly before nodding. “What was it? Were you cheating on me? Were you bored with me? Did I do something wrong? Was it something I did? Or was it something I didn't do?” 

“You didn’t do anything wrong… It was all me…” I paused and looked up at you. You were looking at me, intently watching me. I took a deep breath as I lifted my hand to wipe your cheeks. “I wasn’t cheating on you, and I wasn’t bored with you,” I pulled my hand back to my lap and flexed my fingers. “I think it was just… Work was getting overwhelming… And,” my words trailed off for a moment, causing me to sigh. 

“That’s not a good enough reason, Spencer, you know that,” you looked at me and shook your head. Your tone was short. There was no hiding it, you knew there was something else. I just didn’t have the heart to tell you the truth… But, I had to.

“The issue stopped being the actual problem… and it became me wanting to hurt you… And… And I never want to feel that way… Be-because I love you.” I looked up at you, watching the tears slip down your cheeks. “I don’t want to hurt the people that I love,” my voice was hardly above a whisper, “I guess… I-I need help, and I didn’t realize it till… till I had those thoughts,” I could feel my words shaking as I spoke. You looked at me with worry in your eyes. 

“Spencer,” you whispered. I looked up at you and watched as you reached over, nervously placing your hand on my knee. I looked at you and let out a deep breath. Part of me wasn’t so sure we should be having this conversation at 4 in the morning. But here we are, having it. “After everything you’ve been through, with… With prison, and… and Cat, and Scratch…” your words trailed off as you spoke of the horrors I’ve lived through within the last few years, “Of course you need help… And… And we can get you the help that you need,” you whispered as you looked up at me. My eyes stayed glued to the hand you had resting on my knee. You were here… With me...

“It was just too much… And… I-I’m happy I didn’t do anything…. To…” I paused and took a shaky breath, but also to keep myself from saying that I almost did hurt you. Although, I did hurt you when I left. “I just didn’t know how to ask for help, even when I didn’t reali-”

"Spencer,” you started, your voice low and quiet. I could hear the raspiness in your voice. I’m sure it was the exhaustion of life for you. And it was my fault... 

“I’m sorry for hurting you,” I whispered. I knew just saying sorry wasn’t going to be enough. Something else needed to be said, but I didn’t know what. “I’m so sorry,” I couldn’t help but repeat my apology even as I brought a hand to cover my eyes, and as I fell forward to let a sob go through my body. 

“Hey, hey, Spence, it’s okay…” You whispered as you rested a hand on my back. I could feel you move closer to me as you embraced me better. I sat up and looked over at you. “I… I can’t accept your apology right… right now… But, I think we can work on it. We both need help… We can help and heal… Together…” you turned to face me more. Your gentle hands grasped both mine, holding them in the space between our bodies.

“It’s something we’ll both have to work on,” you looked at me before looking down at our hands. I stared at you, waiting to hear you continue. My heart was beating faster than it should and I was only a little worried about it stopping. I could feel my palms getting hot and sweaty on the leather couch. 

“You… You…” I swallowed roughly and squeezed my eyes shut. Tears rolled down my cheeks, causing me to roughly push them away.

“Obviously I want you back in my life, Spencer. I’m sure you’re aware of how hard these few months have been for me,” you whispered, your voice so soft, I’m happy there were no other sounds. I’m sure I wouldn’t have heard you if it was 4 in the afternoon instead of 4 in the morning. “But, you have to understand, things are going to have to change in order for us to work. Especially now… that I’m pregnant,” you whispered and nodded. 

“Of course! No, I know that! I understand that more than anything in the world.” I moved closer to you and nodded. My heart finally returned to it’s normal speed. “I’ll stay. And not because you’re pregnant. I knew I wanted you back right when I realized my mistake,” I whispered, looking down at our hands. Your hand was on top of mine, and your thumb rubbed the back of my hand. “I can’t apologize enough, because no matter how many times I apologize… Sorry won’t be enough.” I wrinkled my nose and looked back at you.

“I’m not going to give you anymore second chances, Spencer. Please, understand that… You have to get help… If not for me, or yourself, for our child…” You spoke with a sureness in your voice. You knew what you wanted, and you knew you were going to get it. Honestly, I was going to give it to you too. 

“No, no, I do… I do understand… I’ll get all the help I can. I promise,” I kept my eyes on you. A worried feeling overtook my body, I was worried that all of this was just a dream and you’d be gone when I’d wake up. But you were here and it wasn’t just a dream.

At this point, I’d be willing to do anything to keep you safe, and our unborn child safe. I knew I didn’t want to mess this up. I didn’t want to miss any moments or chances of a family. Considering you were my family and I’ve known that for a long time. I didn’t want to lose any more time with you. These last few months without you were the roughest, and I didn’t want that anymore.

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