#capde

[badlydrawnronpa]

I MISSED MY SHOT

PLEASE ANYTHING WITH LUPIN III IM BEGGING YOU!

🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️

THIS IS A DANGANRONPA BLOG?

[mad-pride]

I made an Auditory Processing Disorder flag based on the awareness color (lime green) and how it personally feels for me :)

Thanks!

[nonspeakingkiku]

A note on Kiku's deafblindness.

Kiku has hearing and sight but both are unreliable. Kiku is still figuring out what is hard, what helps, and what this means for Kiku. Kiku grew up thinking Kiku was sighted and hearing and knowing now, that that isn't true. That Kiku is blind and is deaf, are big. Very big and a lot to process.

When Kiku first started really questioning if Kiku was actually blind, really actually considering the possibility that that is true, a very nice lady whose son is deafblind due to CVI and CAPD reached out to Kiku, and listened to Kiku, and confirmed that Kiku's experiences sound like CVI, and that Kiku very well might be deafblind based on Kiku's experiences and even more important, she talked about the trauma that others with CVI and CAPD/Cortical Deafness have experienced, by growing up deafblind and not even knowing it. At first Kiku thought, Kiku doesn't have trauma from that... But Kiku does... All the things that weren't believed, or understand, or listened to. Glossed over. Explained away. Every time someone said: Just pay more attention, just listen, it's right there just look, we called you five times why didn't you answer.

Kiku does have trauma from growing up deafblind and not knowing it. Kiku is so glad that Kiku knows now. Glad that Kiku can accommodate self now. Can learn to rely on things that work better than Kiku's hearing and sight, because they are not reliable. Familiar things are sometimes easier, familiar things can be easier to see, familiar sounds or speech can be easier to identify, although not always easier to understand. Especially speech. Most of the time speech sounds like gibberish. Sounds are hard to identify, can't always tell where sounds come from. Unfamiliar things are worse. Unfamiliar places are a swirl of confusing color, unfamiliar sounds make no sense. And sometimes especially when stresed, overwhelmed, tired, or similar even the familiar is lost in a swirl of colors or sounds. Too many things too many sounds. Is that rain or something else? Someone talking or a sound on the TV. A passing car or something else. The more sounds the harder it is to tell. And if hearing can't see well, and if seeing, actually seeing processing what looking at, can't hear. Will be looking at something and realise halfway through someone talking that they talking and Kiku didn't hear half of it.

But Kiku is learning things to help.

White cane

Braille

ASL

Take break to focus listen, so hear better. Still hard. Still hear gibberish often.

Take break from use sight. Use screenreader. Use braille to make note for self.

Rely on tools that help and loved ones.

Learn more, always learn.

Remember what used to do to help (hand trailing, spend time by self in familiar place, dark, limit sensory input. Block background noise to focus using sight. Block visual distraction to help hear somewhat better)

And things want to learn/have in future to help.

More ASL.

Deaf culture

Protactile ASL

To use white cane well

Hearing aids

Other things.

This post is mostly for self. Just dumping it all out to help process.

Will bio family accept all this... Probably not. They didn't see Kiku's disabilities the first time. But also they not the ones matter, not really. Ones that do, chosen family. The ones who accept Kiku for Kiku, disabilities and all. And are learning to help Kiku while Kiku learn to help self.

Also if Kiku has any deaf, blind, or deafblind followers who have anything they want to share, whether that is their own stories, resources, art, ect. That would be great. Kiku probably should have had all this a long time ago, (community and awareness of self) but Kiku is glad do now.

Thank to anyone who reads this.

[vil-nye]

THIS WAS ORIGINALLY A POST ABOUT APHRODITE SHE’LL UNDERSTAND.

I JUST GOT MY HEARING AIDS AND PEOPLE HEAR LIEK THIS??? I CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING. RELIABLY.

I NEED TO GO LISTEN TO MUSIC AND RE EVALUATE EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER KNOWN

[brainhearingjumble]

I was looking through a Snoopy children’s book and found this relatable scene.

Auditory Processing Disorder feels: when you can’t understand a person and you’re too exhausted to decipher what’s being said so you throw in the towel for the day.

[catholickedd]

augh we need more apd awareness/positivity in the world pleaseeeeee

[ivy-meshle]

[reggie-the-dyke]

ME WHEN

ME WHEN FEM!JD

[sunolls]

TENYA IIDA IS AMAZING?? LIKE I LOVE THID CHARACTER SM. HIS HERO NAME IS SUPER COOL TOO. 😭 BUT I CAN FIND ANY GOOD FIC'S FOR THE DUDE.. SO DOES ANY1 HAVE ANY RECOMMENDATIONS?

[octahedral-chaos]

I'm...really bad at making assumptions, so these are somewhere between assumption and conclusion, but:

- You're fascinated by rare, obscure, extinct, and/or speculated animal species. And I suspect love animals in general.

- And you love ecology/environmental study.

- Given the opportunity, you would happily spend at least a day as an animal, especially if it fit the above descriptors.

... I FEEL CALLED OUT-

AKA yes for all three!

[starburstsobsessions]

Hi everyone?! So I’d like to ask (inquire if you will) about some experiences others share? Starting from the beginning here, I very much feel like ever since I had a few bad ear infections back in late 2019-early 2020, my hearing and listening has not been the same. I’ve been googling (dangerous) and auditory processing disorder seems to disclose all of my concerns? I want to ask a majority of other people who have it though to possibly share experiences or at least give me the overview because google is again, dangerous??? It’s become such a frequent instead of fleeting problem these days that I want to ask if others have their own experiences.

So overall I have this constant issue of people talking to me, with a few different almost constant outcomes???

•”Huh? What?”

•*repeats what I think they said* •entire misunderstanding of what I heard

•it is instantly forgotten or I only remember half of what I was told (“take out the trash and take it down to the curb” but I only take out the trash, go inside, and claim “you didn’t tell me to take it down to the curb 😭”)

Among that though other random things that seem to manifest off of it include???

•Everyone saying I talk too loudly even when I’m pretty sure I’m whispering

•Reading messages from friends, entirely misunderstanding, responding anyway, then apologizing bc I misunderstood (constant pain)

•Random back and forth ear pain despite no lingering infection or anything like that

•subtitles/cc are a MUST if I don’t have my headphones

•some other stuff?!? Idk what’s going on!!!!!!

like am I just distracted and flighty or??? Idk i do my very best to pay attention and listen but!!!! It’s been three years now and I just have concerns I guess

[nonspeakingkiku]

I’m curious, as a fully abled person, how do you interact with the world with your deadblindness? Are there specific things you struggle with more than others, are some days worse than others, can you tell when you’ll have a worse day or a better day?

Feel free to infodump to me I am autistic so I understand how easy it is to accidentally infodump

For Kiku

Kiku has CVI (cortical vision impairment) which is brain based rather than eye based, so Kiku's eyes work okay (other than being nearsighted which means things far off are blurry) and Kiku's brain has trouble processing what Kiku is seeing. Kiku has an easier time getting brain to process things that are familiar and/or brightly colored. Kiku doesn't have good depth perception (determining things like distance, size, ect) and has problems with lower visual field (stuff near the ground especially) and Kiku ofte won't see obstacles on the floor.

Things that aren't brightly colored or familiar are harder to find especially if there is clutter. Also reaching for items is hard because of depth perception. Often will come up short or reach too far. On a good day in a familiar environment Kiku is kind of like a sighted person. Well, a really clumsy sighted person. But on a bad day or in a unfamiliar environment it's ranges from really blurry and visual distortions to a swirl of colors or grey static.

Reading is really hard, especially if Kiku doesn't change font and background colors of text. Black and white with bigger text is readable, but strains Kiku's eyes and causes migraine s, dark background and bright text (so white on black or yellow on black) works better, but reading print is hard no matter the color so Kiku is learning braille.

Movement and bright colors attract Kiku's attention and helps Kiku see unless the object is moving too fast, then Kiku can't see the thing well (bugs are a nightmare).

Dark colored objects on a dark background or light colored objects on a light background are hard to see and will frequently get lost 😅 bright colors on a dark background are easiest to see.

Kiku loses things often, and has been told so many times that can be standing right on top of something and not find it.

Kiku deals with visual fatigue a lot (which eye strain and stuff is part of) and will just stare off because brain and eyes need a break. It looks like disasociation but it's not.

Also because Kiku can't see things coming until they get close, things seem to pop out at Kiku, kind of like jump scares. It's really disorienting. And Kiku has almost walked right into things and people because didn't know they were there.

Kiku thinks that's a good explaination.

As for Kiku's hearing, Kiku won't hear things at times, especially if Kiku isn't aware of something making a sound. And other times (a lot of the times) speech sounds like gibberish and Kiku has trouble determining what sounds are or where they are coming from. This affects Kiku's ability to communicate and can also affect safety if Kiku doesn't hear something important. It mostly affects communication.

Kiku suspects Kiku's deafness is also brain based, so it works similar to Kiku's blindness, some days are better than others.

Kiku can't be seeing things and hearing at the same time. If Kiku is actively focused on seeing Kiku can't hear well. And if Kiku is actively focused on hearing Kiku can't see well.

Kiku needs captions on things Kiku hasn't seen a lot or Kiku can't understand it some times. And other times Kiku can't watch the screen and has to listen. Depends on how Kiku is doing.

Kiku is light and noise sensitive due to chronic migraines.

Kiku hopes this answers your questions ☺️

And feel free to ask if you have any other questions. ☺️

[klavichord]

My hearing has been so bad lately ahhhh

[insane-cripplepunk]

God DAMNIT If I see one more caption making a joke that isn't in the text I'm gonna shoot it!

[aymethyst]

I hate english so much “just sound the word out to spell it!” But none of us pronounce it correctly. Mechanic but i say “ma can ick”. Not to mention i probably dont pronounce things correct i just pronounce them close enough that no one cares to tell the difference

[dukeofriven]

NANTERRE, FRANCE—In an ongoing struggle against ruling-class oppression, the people of France again protested in a way that Americans are welcome to at any time, sources confirmed Thursday. According to reports, French citizens across the country were spotted hitting the streets en masse as a unified front against the institutional bondage that seeks to subjugate them while never failing to apply forceful pressure every time injustice strikes, which Americans can and should feel free to do whenever they so choose. Several reports indicated that while Americans preferred inconsistent and corporatized state-sanctioned forms of demonstrations in which attendees are allowed to “participate” by taking selfies with the very lawmakers who shackle them to their suffering, they were at any point completely allowed to follow in the French tradition and create organic public expressions of self-determination in the face of persecution. At press time, over 10,000 Americans had liked a Pride month tweet from Burger King promoting their chicken sandwich.