THE SMALLEST CASKETS ARE THE HEAVIEST.
fatherhood . . . it was something he wished for , something he became okay with not having eventually. he’d been to war , he’d seen things ━ done things , he became comfortable with it just being himself & his string of broken hearts until diane came along . it hadn’t been something they planned , in all honesty he hadn’t even been sure what they were . . . a new girl in town , the prodigal son returning home ━ two people who fell hard & fast. he didn’t think he could fall any further and THEN . . . along came sara.
sara elise hopper was born april 22 , 1971 in hawkins , indiana. it was the moment that confirmed he would be getting out of his shithole of a hometown but with how unexpectedly sara had been brought into their lives, the couple stuck around for one more year ━ finishing out contracts with jobs & saving money before marrying & running off to new york. from the moment she’d been placed in his arms , sara had her father wrapped around her finger. he’d realized just how much that dream of fatherhood still meant to him and how he would do just about anything for the pink bundle in his.
as an only child raised with a man’s man as a father , jim hopper had no idea how to raise a daughter. it helped that she was such an easy baby ( as easy as it can be on first time parents ) . soon enough , detective hopper was thrust into the world of princess tea parties & encouraging dreams of one day making it to the moon. she was such a happy child , such a smart child , with her mother’s blonde curls & her father’s blue eyes content with running & laughing , making the game up as they went. one day she’s a princess , a knight , the best damn tea maker in new york city. the next she’s an astronaut , saving earth from the next disastrous event threatening their make believe livelihoods.
all the things about hawkins that had made him miserable , all the things about vietnam that had made him numb ━ it all melted away as the three of them settled into happily ever after , as they molded their little family. life stayed that way for a while ━ seven years to be exact.
it was in the fall of 1978 that things began to crumble. a routine day at the park just outside their neighborhood had taken a turn for the worst when sara , the child who had rarely even had a cold , couldn’t breathe. one stop at the emergency room later confirmed a parent’s worst nightmare. he always thought the hardest thing he’d been through were the things that happened in vietnam , things that haunted him every time he closed his eyes , and then he had to watch his little girl get weaker & weaker with every treatment. leukemia . no idea of a cause on the medical side , they said sometimes these things just happen ━ no rhyme no reason.
he knew. he’d done this. life had been too good & this was the universe’s way of knocking him back on his ass. they immediately began treatments any & all even with the slimmest of chances ━ they’d never given up hope but sara . . . sweet , small , sara. her tiny body just couldn’t keep up , life ended before it ever really began & suddenly jim & diane were alone ━ left only with an empty child’s bedroom & their memories as reminders of the mark she’d left on this world.
it wasn’t long before her death took a toll on the parents she left behind. diane wanted to grieve and move on , try again , they’d always be sara’s parents but life had to continue. jim was content with staying in this bubble . . . afraid that eventually he would forget her laugh , her smile , the weight of her pouncing his chest on a saturday morning and so . . . he drank. i began cashing in any and every prescription he could. he drank himself out of a marriage & a job.
suddenly the house was much too big while new york suddenly felt much too small & before he knew it , he was on the phone with indiana ━ returning home once more. he visited sara the day he split, leaving a bouquet of flowers & a small stuffed tiger in his place and with that . . . he never visited new york again.
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