#can it really be considered spoilers when this is the video that plays upon opening the event

[fishareglorious]

they puttin sonetto on death row⁉️⁉️ what the hell.

[iceglade]

wuk lamat could only have ever been a trans catgirl btw

1.4k words (sorry), dawntrail level 100 spoilers:

thats like the whole point when the dawntrail final arc antagonists are examinations/deconstructions the traditional gender roles. btw.

consider where mamook is in the story. consider who gulool ja ja is to tural.

ive been workshopping an essay about how a few of dawntrail's themes are connected, i think theres an in depth conversation that can be had...

95-100 cannot be separated from the cultural context that came before it , regarding the spirituality of Living Memory, sure, but also regarding legacy and filling the legendary gulool ja ja's shoes™ with mamook being where it is as the lid on a jar that was being filled the entire time to complete a jar mini ecosystem before we crack it open 30 years later in heritage found to see whats grown inside.

dawntrail doesnt go into sexism but it does go into racism, it does go into the psyche of the people who IN REAL WORLD TERMS want rich white men to be the ruling class and the people who arent traditional men who still support that concept. its all connected

like the WHOLE FIRST HALF OF THE GAME WAS ABOUT THE SECOND HALF OF THE GAME AND VICE VERSA GO BACK AND REPLAY THE FIRST PART PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. you NEED to learn about your culture and your traditions and your history and you NEED to embrace change and growth and outsider perspectives DO NOT TOSS ONE OUT FOR THE OTHER. THEY NEED TO WORK TOGETHER TO FILL THE IDEAL, REAL OR NOT, THAT YOU ARE TRYING TO FUFILL.

MAMOOK LEFT AN IMPRESSION ON ME and the solution presented was learn about one another. understand one another. know their problems. offer and accept help from outside perspectives and grow. which while neither perfect nor fully realized is a lot more than ive ever seen a video game do ever lol. history of war, lack of sunlight, difficulty with getting food, self inflicted self perpetuating community trauma, shunning outsiders, clinging to a status quo so toxic that its actively killing both adults and children - all of these are deeply, undeniably connected.

so.

i grew up in the south.. y'all know how it is!! in some places its BAD down here!!

BUILDING FROM THAT,

IMAGINE YOU LEARNED ALL THOSE LESSONS.

heritage found says okay, we did that. we listened to each other, we learned. we improved. and we did not force this growth upon anyone who didnt want it. we DIDNT abandon our culture or tradition. and STILL our problems persist!! people still die and to keep them alive we have to remember them but it hurts. it still hurts to mourn them. we are still haunted by our past and the burdens we inherited

THIS PLOT IS SOOOO STEEPED IN REAL WORLD CULTURAL PHENOMENON. BTW. THE SENSITIVITY READERS ARE OWED A CUT OUT OF EVERY DOLLAR SQUENIX GETS OFF OF THIS FOR THE REST OF TIME. AAGHH

CAUSE THIS COULDVE BEEN SO BAAADDDD , AND INSTEAD, I LOVVEEEED IT

idk...!!!!! i love living memory as an escalation of the idea that if they're remembered they never really die, but it hurts to remember. (GO BACK AND HANG OUT WITH THE YOK HUY RIGHT NOWWW) this is something real world people live by. was talking abt this with some friends and one of them mentioned living memory's color scheme "being the same orange being associated with ofrendas" in the same conversation where we were just. absorbing how deeply horrifying uploading your loved ones' memory to the cloud os (the wording used was, "the excision of memories of the dead"). one youtube comment said its like playing records of the dead and imagining they're alive again. i am haunted by erenville and graha - "i dont wish they were here again, i just wish they never died"

living memory is "if they're remembered they never really die" twisted to its illogical extreme.

the weight of that spirituality is no mistake. and shutting it down because is SUCH an ethically devastating thing to have to do even on top of your friends' parents passing on and you thinking the place was idk pretty or something (cause it rlly was) what the fuck what the fuuck

theres so much in this expansion about learning about and respecting other cultures and offering aid when its hurting others and themselves

which like makes me nervous for the patch quests btw because we need to talk about, that, vs , this is how we honor our dead

we had to shut it down because it was an active threat and was going to go nuclear but that was how they honored their dead

but i do trust this story. so i look forward to it.

all this to say i think it would be a misstep to have us go "hey dont do the soul thing do this instead". just as much as it would have been a HUGE misstep to have us be the protagonist of this expansion instead of lamat'yi.

AND FOR THE RECORD WUK HAD TO BE THE PROTAGONIST OF DAWNTRAIL FOR THIS REASON. I STAND BY THAT.

fuuuck, flaws and all, i love this game.

i have more to say about sphene and zoraal ja hold on this is all relevant to the original premise trust me.

SO YEAH.

but yeah its no surprise that

1. sphene, a traditionally feminine uwu perfect angel princess queen of REASON

2. (erenville voice) Zoraal Ja, The Warmongerer, Mine Is The Power Mine Is The Path, I Must Surpass My Man-The-Textbooks-Teach-About Father burnt out gifted oldest child king of RESOLVE

are DIRECTLY IN OPPOSITION to

1. wuk lamat, catgirl naruto young and dumb shonen protagonist with a big heart and an open mind warrior princess vow of RESOLVE

2. and koana, emotionally reserved well-studied STEM club vp advanced placement poly catboy vow of REASON

there are people who do not fit the stereotype who are suffering trying to achieve it who want it to end, and then there are people who Double Down.

regarding everyone who lives in tuliyollal and the extremely diverse area of tural, it cannot be stressed enough how Gulool Ja Ja is the guy they write the textbooks about. he is the perfect adventurer who traveled the world and united the people. in the context of the story he is the man on the cover of the fantasy novel ripped shirt rippling abs two swords and all. imagine being his gifted full of potential son ON TOP OF how insane being an oldest child makes you PLUS The War thats why zoraal ja is like that.

i love love love sphene. sphene is using zoraal ja. shes based off of the ideal of the sweet beloved disney princess/queen. she was using his agency like a weapon and her lack of agency as a shield and when he turned against her own people , which he said very clearly that he would do, wuk tells her that she needs to actually help the people she loves and do what she can do, and she interprets that from there - it just so happens that "true to herself" puts her in direct opposition to the person who was encouraging her to be that way.

for the homestuck fans shes a muse and hes a lord IM BEGGING YOU DONT CLICK OUT PLEASE LET ME FINISH MY SENTA

WUK AND KOANA WILL NOT FILL THE SHOES OF THE IDEAL MAN LEADER IN THE EYES OF THOSE WHO WANT A MORE TRADITIONAL LEADER UNTIL THEY MARCH UPON THEIR CASTLE AND STRIKE THEM DOWN WITH THE SAME HATRED THAT THEY STRUCK THE PAST GENERATION DOWN, zoraal ja says, in no uncertain terms

and zoraal ja is wrong.

they repel the second attack on tuliyollal because they ask for help. wuk DOES get a good hit on zoraal ja in heritage found. and zoraal ja throws away the ultimatum he himself delivered by throwing away his army, kidnapping his son, overdosing on aether, and leaving the moment its clear that brute force is not going to take wuk lamat's community away from her.

and sphene cant use him as an excuse anymore.

sphene was programmed to do ANYTHING to accomplish an infinitely increasingly difficult goal. she who cursed me with this soft and powerless nature. my desire to protect my people transcends all others. is there no way to make peace with tuliyollal? if it were you, could you have found a better way? i cant bear to lose them - not again!

there will only ever be more dead, forever.

i rlly want to go into that but its a completely separate topic for another time i just.. love these characters. i love what theyve done with this place.

but no parts 1 and 2 are the same part. dont discard tradition, dont reject innovation. wuk lamat put it best

@ bakool ja ja

@ sphene

what do YOU want? beyond the stereotype your community wanted you to fill?

[dylanakamura]

Why I Love Yume Nikki. In honor of finishing this amazing game a year ago today. Spoilers for the game's ending in Paragraphs 6 and 7, but the rest is spoiler free and can be read by anybody!

One Year ago today, I finished Yume Nikki, one of the most unique experiences with a game I had ever had up to that point, and to this day after experiencing countless amazing pieces of art Yume Nikki still stands tall among them as one of my favorites. Why is that? In this post I’d like to go over what makes Yume Nikki truly stick with me as well as many others, and why it appeals to me in a way few other works can.

The Game

Yume Nikki isn’t like most games. I wouldn’t even say it truly has a story to it. Yume Nikki is an experience. In the words of Kikiyama, the game's creator, “...this game allows you to explore the world inside a dream (thus its setting). There is no particular story or purpose. It simply is an exploring game.” The only instruction you get from the game is on how to save, how to go to sleep (entering the dream world a.k.a. Nexus), and the goal to collect all 24 effects you can find throughout the Nexus. From here, where you go is up to you. You can explore the many doors of the Nexus and all the weird environments and creatures it houses. The effects turn our main character, commonly known as Madotsuki, into different versions of herself or give her specific items such as turning her into a cat, giving her a bike, or making her ride a broom in a witches outfit. Outside of the opening instructions, the title card, and the menus there isn’t any dialogue to be found. All you can really do is explore at your own discretion, the events that occur in your playthrough are entirely yours to decide. It’s a totally alinear experience where you decide when the story begins and ends.

The World

You start the Game alone in Madotsuki’s apartment, which you cannot leave. It’s a lonely place with only a bookshelf, video game console, a diary to record her dreams, and her bed. The balcony isn’t any different, being very dull and dirty as well as fairly high from the ground, creating a greater sense of isolation for Madotsuki. When she heads to sleep she can enter the Nexus, the world of her own dreams. There are 12 doors leading to 12 different zones which all have their own mini zones, creatures, and themes. With the help of the effects you find, you can discover whole new areas as well as new interaction with the world itself. And on top of that, there are many secret events that only have a small chance of happening upon falling asleep, creating even more value to exploring every inch of this world. There are many theories as to what events of experiences led to Madotsuki’s mind becoming the way it has, but I’ll dive further into that in a later slide. I can see why this type of game isn;t appealing to everyone, who wants to sink time into a game that doesn;t answer your burning questions about the world, but I think that approach misses the point of the game entirely, so please give it a shot if you’ve never played the game before.

Madotsuki

Madotsuki isn’t really a common name in Japan. It’s actually the word for Window. Some fans even believe that Madotsuki isn;t even our playable character's name, but more symbolic of what she represents; a window into her dreams. Madotsuki’s shirt also resembles a window, and can even be interpreted as the japanese character 囧, which means “to shine” or “window” reinforcing Madotsuki’s role in the game. The last detail about Madotsuki I’d like to cover is her eyes. Throughout the game Madotsuki’s eyes are never open, the only time being when her Cat effect is active, but many don’t consider those red beady eyes to be her real eyes. Her eyes being closed are heavily interpretable as well, some believing they represent how Madotsuki is closing herself off from the world to live in her own dream world. But again, like everything with Yume Nikki, this is heavily interpretable as well.

Infinite Interpretability.

What I believe to be the strongest aspect of Yume Nikki is how anyone can play this game and put their own pieces together to construct their own narrative with what the game gives you. With the game and its creator not giving you a single answer or confirmation of any detail within the game besides how you play it, no interpretation can be wrong either. Every person's unique experience is, in a sense, canon. Part of why this game has continued to grow on me is that as my values on art, stories, games, etc. change, my own interpretation can change and evolve with it. My first impression of what took place in the game is far different from what it’s evolved into, but every step of the way since then, the way I’ve seen the story continues to be valid. And what’s so powerful about that is because it parallels life so beautifully. Everyone comes to their own conclusion on how they should live their lives, and you can’t truly rule out someone's own idea of what life means to them. And that idea can change and evolve as we all grow as people. Yume Nikki truly is one of the most perfect reflections of life that I've ever seen within art, which is kind of ironic for a game that feels so avant garde and strange in its world.

Spoiler Warning for the ending of Yume Nikki. If you want to go in blind for what the 24 effects do once you finish the game(which I highly, highly, HIGHLY recommend you do), please don’t read these next 2 paragraphs.

My Own Interpretations on Yume Nikki - 1

For the sake of example, I’d like to share how I saw Yume Nikki a year ago, and how I see it now. I believed that us, the player, acted as the subconscious within Madotsuki. Just like in a dream where we have no control of the direction it goes, Madotsuki isn’t in control when entering the Nexus, we are. We are the spirit in Madotsuki’s heart that helps her confront the trauma she’s experienced so she can take back her life from the grips of despair. In a sense, we are her human spirit to keep on living in a world that keeps pushing her down. My thoughts weren’t fully formed with this idea though, I couldn’t explain the ending, why she takes her own life after collecting the 24 effects and placing them as eggs in the center of the Nexus. I knew there were holes in my theory, but i didn;t see that as a bad thing, because in the end I still believed in the idea that everybody's own unique takeaway can coexist since again, there isn’t a single piece of evidence that can truly disprove anybody’s theory on the events of Yume Nikki. Even reading back on this theory, I can fill in those holes now and come up with a new thought process just as valid as my current one, or anyone’s current one.

My Own Interpretations on Yume Nikki - 2

My current interpretation on the other hand goes like this. Madotsuki is a troubled Hikkikomori. She’s been through countless traumatic events, to what extent we won’t ever truly know, but that’s not the point. I believe that Madotsuki finding all 24 effects and exploring the Mandala that is her own mind is her facing her trauma head on and internalizing it, and when she uses them it’s her learning to overcome those fears related to them. Her placing them all down as eggs is her finally coming to terms with everything that’s happened, and that gives her the power to move on. She finally found her true self and now has the power to finally wake up. When she wakes up and Leaps off her balcony, I believe this is also within her dream, since in the credits, we see inhabitants of the dream world dancing around the bloodstain on the ground. Not Madotsuki’s corpse, just a stain, which mirrors an area you can find in the Nexus. This symbolic death is the catalyst for her new life and the true journey ahead of her. I also believe in an opposing theory, one that’s the total opposite of what I’ve just laid out. Madotsuki collecting the effects burdens her, she can’t take all these memories of her trauma and dream manifestations of her worst moments. Her laying all the effects down overwhelms her into waking up and jumping. This Madotsuki is a cautionary tale. She wasn;t able to come to terms with her own life and ended it. The dream world creatures we see in the credits show that she’s returned to an eternal dream world never to wake up.

In Conclusion

These two interpretations are seemingly opposites, but the nature of Yume Nikki lets them both exist, along with many, many, many others. There are even countless fan games in the same format where people have put their own experiences and feelings into a game, such as Lisa the First, Yume 2kki, .flow, and probably hundreds of more with their own dedicated fan bases and own fan games. The powerful nature of Yume Nikki is how it brings out our own feelings. We can piece together stories that we like, that inspire us, that make us miserable, or that make us see life more clearly. Yume Nikki is a phenomenon like very few other works of art. It puts a mirror up to our own lives and experiences and if you put the thought into it like I have, it can truly be a life changing experience that I won’t soon forget, which is quite impressive for a game I’ve only spent maybe 10 hours in total playing. If you’ve made it this far into the post, please consider playing the game, it’s free on steam, it can run on any computer or even a phone I’m sure, and with an open mind it can be a beautiful time.

[boydiisaster]

It's so awesome there's blogs like yours out there trying to provide content for GN and Male fans. It's so hard to find anything even GN, and as a nonbinary person I just want you to know how much it's appreciated! If you're okay with taking requests right now, I have an Obey Me one? Do you have any headcanons on a poly/throuple relationship between a GN MC, Satan, and Solomon? Those two are surprisingly good friends in canon and alike in a lot of ways, I love them both so much!

throuple satan and solomon headcanons

reader: gender neutral, they/them pronouns

tw/cw: a bit of spoilers and fighting/blood mentions

author's note: AWW YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CRY YOU'RE SO NICE, ANON :,) i'm trying my hardest to provide more content for other male and gender neutral readers out there, so i really hope that what i write is enjoyable for yall <33 also i haven't the slightest idea of satan and solomon's canon relationship because i'm only at like lesson 30 smth and don't keep up with my messages so i just pulled most of their dynamic for this out of my ass ( ._.)

It was like a cat just met a dog when Satan and Solomon started dating. They have similarities, sure, but whereas Satan is cold and calculated with his spells, plans, and pranks, it's as if Solomon doesn't think. Like, ever.

How was someone so smart so insufferably stupid at the same time? It's as if Satan is his babysitter more than he's his boyfriend.

Oh god and when Solomon ropes you into doing something with him-

"I hate you both," Satan grumbles, checking your temperature and seeing how it's well above the normal temperature for humans. "Solomon, you can't just drag MC on all your dangerous adventures. They're much more human than you are."

"Just because I accidentally made a spell that cursed me with immortality doesn't mean I'm any less human than they are." Solomon crosses his arms at his boyfriend's hurtful words. "Besides, MC wanted to come with me. Isn't that right, MC?"

You didn't speak. That was probably because you had passed out from how incredibly fatigued you were. Your skin was sticky and noticeably sweaty, eyes closed shut while letting out painful whimpers.

"Tell me again just what happened to them?" Satan groans as he opens a spell book. God knows where he got it. He did that a lot. He was like a video game character or something the way he'd just pull books or spell jars from out his ass. He was always the one Mammon would ask for a pencil, because hell he had like hundreds on him at all times.

"Well," Solomon cheekily smiles and scratches the back of his neck. "We went looking for some herbs for a new spell I concocted."

"Uh huh?"

"And MC sort of... fell."

"What did they fall on, Solomon?"

Said man falls silent. "Solomon?" Satan drags out his lover's name, threatening him, to which all Solomon can do is smile again, this time more nervous.

"They kind of, maybe, fell into a bush of what could have been poisonous flowers...."

"What kind of poisonous flowers, Solomon?" Satan glares at him.

Solomon thinks for a moment, then clasps his hands together. "Let's just say that if we don't get Diavolo or Lucifer in the next," he looks toward a clock, "fifteen or so minutes, MC might fall asleep for probably a whole millennium."

That earns the sorcerer a big thwack to the back of his head by Satan's spell book.

That was probably the first major incident where you were dragged into Solomon's dangerous plans, but it certainly wasn't the last. Most of the time you either ended up with several scrapes or bruises, things Satan or Solomon could easily patch up on their own. But sometimes you'd come back missing a shirt or as a cat.

(It's hard for Satan to be mad at Solomon for accidentally turning you into a cat, but he manages it because you were furious.)

... You were a really cute cat though, MC.

A cat was frantically trying to climb up Satan's pant leg. He was out in the garden tending to his flowers when a kitty he'd never seen before made their way through the bushes and crashed into his leg.

"Hello little one," he smiled at the cat. "Are you lost?"

The cat let out a pitiful wail and latched themselves onto Satan's leg. Satan frowned a bit and started to get worried. "Are you hurt? What's wrong?"

He picked up the cat to examine them. They were a cute little thing with [eye color] eyes and a sleek fur coat. Satan couldn't see anything physically wrong with them. Their paws looked fine, and there was no blood anywhere.

"Did you lose your mom? Maybe your kitten?" he began to muse, then Solomon exploded through the bushes looking frantic as ever.

"Have you seen a cat?" he gasped for air. "About this tall, [eye color] eyes, clearly upset?"

"You mean this one?" Satan held up the cat he found.

"Yes! Give them here-"

The cat hissed and clawed at Solomon's hand, burying themselves further into Satan's grasp. They growled, then looked toward Satan to let out another pitiful whine.

"MC, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!" Solomon cried.

The cat hissed again.

"I'm sorry, did you just say MC?"

Solomon stiffened. He started to laugh nervously, fiddling with his cuffs. "Uh... would you break up with me if I told you I turned our darling MC into a tiny cat...? If so then no, I didn't say MC."

"You did what?!"

"Oh would you look at the time! I have a meeting with Lord Diavolo I must attend to right now, goodbye Satan, I love you!"

And then Solomon left, leaving Satan to fix whatever spell he put on their partner by himself. Satan wasn't angry about it, but the look of pure rage on your little furry face was enough to let Satan know that if he kept you as a cat for a moment longer you'd raise hell upon everyone in the vicinity.

Having a pact with a demon means that pretty much everything you do is shared with said demon. You feel emotions stronger, god forbid if you feel their specific emotions. You could be angry at Mammon for swiping a bag of candy you bought for yourself, but you act as if Mammon robbed you of every last thing you had just because of the pact you share with Satan. He feels awful about that, even though you reassure him time and time again that:

1.) It's not his fault, and

2.) You wanted a pact with him

Even so, please give Satan cuddles and kisses after he gets all sulky. He acts composed, but on the inside he's so incredibly self-conscious of both his sin and his pact with you.

"You need to be more careful," Satan quietly mused as he bandaged your hurt hands and face. You had gotten into a fight at school because a demon shoved you, and now you were currently inside Satan's room, getting blood all over his pretty carpet.

"I know," you softly sighed and hissed once the rubbing alcohol came into contact with the cuts on your face. "I just, I don't know. It set me off for some reason."

Your boyfriend hesitated for a moment, then applied a bandage to your cheek. "It's because of the pact."

"Satan-"

"You know I'm right, MC." Satan didn't look at you when he talked. Instead he looked at his lap, which had the first aid kit he was using to fix you up in it. "I know I talk about this a lot but... I am truly sorry for doing this to you."

"Hey," you cupped his cheek. "It's not your fault. I can learn to live with this. I learnt to handle my greed, envy, and gluttony when I built pacts with your brothers, right?"

"You shouldn't have to though. Maybe it's best if I-"

You silently kissed him. It was a bittersweet kiss, one filled with love yet unspeakable sadness and hurt. Satan was so self-conscious of his sin, yet you loved him still anyway. You wished he could see that.

"Don't finish that thought," you whispered as you pulled away. Resting your forehead against his, you continued. "I love you. Despite your sin, despite how you were born, despite everything; I love you. I chose you, and I wanted a pact with you." You smiled, and Satan couldn't help but blush at your next sentence.

"You silly demon. You really can't see how amazing you are, huh? It's okay though, because both me and Solomon will always be here to remind you."

Solomon touches all your pact marks constantly. When you take off your shirt it's hard to stop him from touching Leviathan's mark located directly on your back. He's always rubbing his fingers over Beelzebub's symbol on your stomach, always outlining Mammon's mark on your wrist. Sometimes he kisses Belphegor's symbol on your throat. When meeting your eyes, he never fails to stare into the one that holds Lucifer's mark, and even though you cover your thighs almost all the time, it's like Solomon can tell where Asmodeus's mark is. It's his favorite place on your thigh to touch.

You sighed whenever you felt Solomon's lips touch the small of your back. A smile made its way onto your own lips as you giggled.

"I didn't expect Satan to place his mark somewhere so... subtle," he admitted as he popped up to press a kiss to your cheek.

You looked at him out of the corner of your eye. He was playing with your wrist again, looking at the symbol of greed that adorns your skin.

"Solomon," you started.

Your lover hummed. You could tell he was beginning to grow drowsy. His eyes were closed and his movements slowed.

"Are you... jealous?"

That woke him up. He made you face him, and the expression he wore was unreadable. It worried you. Maybe you shouldn't have said that.

"I just mean, like," you grew embarrassed. "Um... you're always touching my pact marks, or always looking at them, and I don't know. Are you mad at me for them?"

The sorcerer gently grasped your hands. His fingers were weirdly soft considering how much he uses them. He sat there for a moment, just running his thumbs over your palms before speaking.

"I am a little," he admitted. "But I'm not mad at you. If anything I'm proud."

You smiled a bit. It was a lopsided and awkward sort of smile, but to Solomon it was the most beautiful thing in the world, as cheesy as that sounded.. He loves seeing his partners happy. He loves seeing you happy.

"You're much stronger than you think," Solomon continued. "Being able to hold seven different pact marks, ones belonging to Avatars, as a human with no sort of prior knowledge on magic?" He beamed. "You're incredible."

That only embarrassed you more. You groaned a bit and tried swatting Solomon away to hide your face, but your lover only pulled you in for a short yet loving kiss.

"You're cute, you know that?"

"You're cuter," you retorted. Solomon just smiled.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, dear. Speaking of which," he leaned back on your bed and made grabby hands at you, indicating that he wanted you to lay next to him. "I'm tired. Cuddle me."

"So needy," you joked, but instantly complied to Solomon's request. He was never like this in public. It was nice seeing him so open and vulnerable... and cute.

[mask131]

I watched Take me to your leader

... and it left me with a smile on my face.

SPOILERS AHEAD OF COURSE!

This first episode (well... seventh but first) was actually quite good, with a majestic first part and a funny second one. It doesn’t surprise me much because, again, no matter how shitty the season of AHS is, the first episode is always good. 

Given the story is clearly divided into two parts, I’ll see them one after another.

The 1950s:

# I loved it. Truly I loved it. It felt majestic. 

I loved how it took back the codes and ideas of Asylum. I loved the homages and references to classic black and white horror movies and to alien movies. I loved the David Lynch references. The whole aesthetic is spot on! 

Acting so far is really good (but it doesn’t surprise me with such good actors). I love the opening credits - I knew upon seeing all those tentacles the aliens would have them, and the idea of the shell containing an octopus-like creature is wonderful. 

I do wonder if the use of white eyes is actually a reference to the “black-eyed kids” phenomenon? I feel it is. 

But one thing that bothered me was that the music was really loud... was it just me?

The 2020s:

# Okay, so on one side the transition did not surprise or shock me because the trailers and promos had warned me, and due to being a big AHS fan I am used to such transitions in genre, time, aesthetic. But I do recognize that to a less fanatic viewer the shock might be brutal, and the extreme shift might be disliked, so I’ll still consider this. 

# If the first arc seems to be Asylum-based, this one is definitively a throwback to the Coven era. The focus on young adults, characters stereotyped and exagerated just enough to be funny and carry a certain theatric feel to the story but not so much as the story can’t get realistic, the use of humor to ease in and prepare/play with the horror. 

# The humor and the characters, this light comedy-turning-into-horror style really pleased me and worked for me. Upon seeing the sequence begin I feared it would be “American Horror Stories” all over again, but here you have less over-working (or when things are a bit overdone they are clearly done purposely for the style and story), it feels more real though also exaggerated enough to be funny (and strangely realistic, you know it is this weird middle where something that looks a bit extravagant is actually more realistic than what fiction would show as “realist”. The “reality is unrealistic” trope. Anyway it’s just me).

# I was a bit bothered by the big focus on sex here (again, Stories flashbacks) but then I realized it actually worked damn fine. Not only is it again a way to bring back the topics of procreation, pregnancy and motherhood (very important to this mini-season), but it also helps setting a difference and clash between the two era, the conservative, well-dressed, very moral 50s versus the 2020s where sexuality is freedom, amusement, pride... 

# Again, the music was too strong. I think it was my video bugging. 

# I loved how throughout the episode they played with the tropes and core ideas of the USA ufology (though Double Feature is definitively NOT a season kind on animals, I think it has the highest number of animal dyings since Roanoke) - but they do not simply repeat it, they play with it. This is my main compliment for this episode: it is INVENTIVE! You feel a true inventivity here, it is crazy. The cow bit was beautifully disturbing. 

# Also just me or is the second part giving me some Mars Attack feels? I loved Burton’s Mars Attack.

# Note however that not everything is perfect, there are still small flaws here and there but they are mostly technical - for example when the four protags are in the car, and the light of the UFO flash in, you can notice that the actors react too fast, almost before the light appears. 

# It is quite interesting that they visibly did not take the same model as the aliens from Asylum. The current ones seem to have a more simplified design (the aliens of Asylum were giant-sized and with four arms and limbs allowing them to hang from ceilings and crawl on walls - though you saw this in deleted scenes and behind the scenes ; while these ones rather are human-sized and more humanoid in shape, if you don’t count the shell bit). Are they different kinds of aliens, or is this a reboot?

# Now, the final twist I knew already thank to the promo - I had guessed male pregnancy (and pregnancy in general, horror pregnancy) would play a part. Now, I know some people might be taking a step back from the idea all four of them are pregnant, because it has been used several times in comedy (and often poorly), but for me, again it worked. The last line was clearly a joke, and it worked as a joke, it was funny, but it also becomes unsettling in the context and the seriousness of it hits you at the same time you laugh. It is true definition of comedy-horror, where the horrific reveal work as such as much as a joke punchline.

I won’t lie, I am quite interested in which road they will take with these pregnancies - especially the male pregnancy stuff. I was always fascinated with alien reproduction system (some fictional works can get really creative), but the male pregnancy is very interesting in an horror perspective. You see, while mostly done in comedies, it was also done in horror a few times - and while it has a great potential it has rarely been done great. For example a recent example is “The Mortuary Collection”, which did a horror segment on male pregnancy, but it was just a lazy and gross story I want to erase from my mind. HOWEVER there is a very fascinating and interesting horror movie called “The Swimmers” that play with male pregnancy perfectly well, under the angles of vengeful ghosts and a protagonist descending into madness. (I also know there’s one example in Amulet but I haven’t watched it).

So yes it is a trope that has a lot of horror potential but has rarely been done well, so I am truly waiting to see how AHS will deal with it.

Anyway, overall, I would conclude with one word “inventive”. It feels fresh, it feels new, it feels majestic on one side and entertaining (in the good way) on the other. There is a true inventivity here that I felt was missing since a few seasons. 

So yeah I loved it. But so far I loved all openings of AHS so it doesn’t mean much X)

[tendouluvr]

songs i associate hq!! boys with [1]

- characters: bokuto, akaashi, nishinoya, hanamaki, tendō

- warnings: none (lmk if there’s any!), maybe bad grammar lol, slight timeskip spoiler for hanamaki and tendō

- wc: 175, 184, 129, 162, 228

a/n: this series is taking years off of my lifespan :’)

BOKUTO : sixpence none the richer - kiss me

#! you guys were on a date and stumbled upon a small park while walking. bokuto immediately lets go of your hand and run towards the swings. “push me! push me! babe, please push me!!!” he begs you as he tries to fit onto the swing that was clearly meant for kids (not like he wasn’t one though). “bo, you won’t fit, love. it’s too small, you’ll break it.” you softly sighed while making your way over to him. he was still trying to squeeze his broad shoulders in between the chains holding the swing up, but eventually gave up seeing there was no progress. “i’m too big for it :(,” he mumbled with a pout and turned to look at you. “what, do you want me to stretch the chains out?” you asked him after a few seconds of his staring. a smile started stretching its way onto his face and he declares, “no, you’re it!” tapping your shoulder, startling you, and instantly skipping his way across the park knowing you’ll catch up to him.

AKAASHI : m2m - pretty boy

#! akaashi’s head was gently resting on your thighs and you were softly tracing his features with your finger. today was one of the days where you both were free, so y’all decided to have a small picnic date in the field near your shared apartment. sitting with your legs stretched out in front of you, akaashi took the opportunity to place his head onto it. his soft hair tickles your thighs making you giggle and you moved around a bit to let him get comfier. the sun was shining just enough that it bounced off of his skin, highlighting his natural glow and he truly looked like an angel. “hey kaash, anyone ever told you that you’re super pretty?” you quietly mumbled while playing with tufts of his hair. he was silent for a bit, eyes closed to nuzzle his head further into your hand to seek the warmth he’s always craving for, then finally replying, “yeah, you. like all the time, sweetheart.” a small smile appeared on his usually expressionless face. “hmm, well it’s true and i’ll remind you every chance i get.”

NISHINOYA : punkinloveee - freak show

#! you entered the small house party right when the song started to play and as soon as the beat dropped, nishinoya found his eyes drifting to the front door where you were standing. he sees you raise your cup of whatever liquid was in it and you let out a, “party rockers in the house-,” before he immediately made his way to you and corrected you saying, “it’s party rock is-,” effectively making you whip your head towards him a little too fast. you both stared at each other for a bit before smashing your lips together. while still kissing, he grabbed onto your waist and slowly walked you towards a quieter corner of the house. “i’m nishinoya! but you can call me noya, yuu, yours, whatever you’d like!”

I HATE HIMMM hes so annoyingly cute yes this was literally taken from an alvin the chipmunk and levi meme thats so fucking funny

HANAMAKI : twin cabins - swing lynn

#! you guys went on vacation and while there, makki recorded many snippets of you, him, and the surroundings. when you finally came home, he edited all of the clips into one video and had this song playing in the background while quick clips of you guys holding hands while running, zoomed in snaps of you smiling and laughing, and multiple canon shots of both of y’all (but mainly you) are being played in tune with the beats of the song. the video continued to play until it faded out to black and all that could be seen was your reflection on the black phone screen. makki was sitting across from you, waiting for your reaction until you let out a quiet laugh while smiling and said, “maybe you should find a job related to film making.” it was meant to tease him for being unemployed at one point, but he knew from your soft smile and bright eyes, that you were happy.

TENDŌ : cigarettes after sex - sweet

#! tendō slowly opened his eyes as the bright morning sun shown through the sheer curtains covering the small balcony of his dainty paris apartment. he lets out a tiny grumble at the fact that he didnt wake up with his face stuffed into your neck, and turned his head to look at you on the other side. you were laying pressed against his side, arms clinging onto his and cheek squished on his shoulder. he smiles at the sight and moves the hand connected to the arm you’re grasping on to slide his soft fingers into yours. he feels you squeezing his hand and chuckles, the morning rasp making it sound a lot deeper and throatier than it should be. “g’morning, sunshine..you still sleeping?” he places a gentle kiss onto your forehead before moving to lay on his side. you felt him wrapping his long arms around you to pull your back to his chest. letting out a sigh and a groan, you forced yourself to say something back. “don’t you have to get up for work, ‘tori?” you’re not really sure if he heard considering your voice level is far below a whisper. he giggles as he buries his face into your neck and giving you a kiss there before replying, “mhm you’re totally right, i’ll be sure to bring back some chocolate for my sweet baby.”

[intomymindspace]

Video Games ✰ Tendou Satori

Video Games covered by The Young Professionals

tendou satori x gn reader

Through the Summer and the Fall // Haikyuu!! Songfic Series

a/n: hi everyone, I'm sorry for a posting a week late! I’ve been really unmotivated as of late for personal stuff but also because I'm lowkey still a little bummed that my Bokuto fic (definitely totally am not plugging it rn - totally do not click the link, ahaha 🥺) didn’t do as well as I hoped it would. But no matter! Here is the Tendou insert, as promised! It’s not the best, and I definitely have a bit of writers block and am behind schedule. I wish I could write his character and for him better considering how much I love him. Next will up be flattykawa 😌 and I will be posting it hopefully soon to help make up for last week’s missed post. I've also changed up this blog and have given it hopefully a better look - there is a new theme on desktop!

Warnings: part 3 spoilers for jojo’s bizarre adventure that include character death, my bb tori being insecure about him and his body but I love him and his flat a$$ so much, and as always, we clown on flattykawa in this household but all in good favor

It was a rainy day, and Tendou was quiet and content as he sat on your bed, reading the new Weekly Shonen Jump magazine that he had just been mailed. He had let Ushijima read it earlier - but as always, he only read the advertisements. You sat beside him on the floor, his long legs dangled off the edge of your bed, his foot brushing your arm every now and then. You were playing the new otome game you had bought a week ago on your console. On days like this, the two of you often fell into comfortable silences when hanging out with each other - and today was no different. There was nothing to do other than school work and go to practice - but even then, it wasn’t necessary for the third years to attend anymore. Not since they lost in the finals against Karasuno. 

He was pulled away from the panel he was reading when he heard you gasp - his crimson eyes flitting to your monitor to see what had happened.

“What happened?” You turned around to look up at him, an excited look on your face.

“Murasame Jinnosuke confessed his love for me! I didn’t expect it to happen so fast into the game.” He looked back at the screen to see a handsome samurai on your screen. Snickering, Tendou ruffled your hair.

“Good job, now just see if you can get a real guy to confess his undying love for you.” Squinting at him, you slapped his leg playfully.

“You’re supposed to be nice to me, Tori-kun.”

“When am I not?”

Ever since you had taken the place of Shiratorizawa’s volleyball club manager two years ago as a first year, you quickly bonded with the strange amalgamation of players. It had been a running gag between the third year players to find out what type of guys you liked. You could always be found on your phone during breaks playing otome games - and that was the beginning of the years of playful torment from your fellow classmates.

It wasn’t that you weren’t attractive or that you didn’t gain attention - every Valentines Day you always received several confessions and chocolates, but you always rejected them as kindly as possible. For someone who played as many otome games as you did, they were surprised to say the least when you had always declined the advances of many classmates, saying that they just weren’t your type with a kind smile on your face.

It was Tendou’s turn to squint as he turned his attention back to your screen as you continued to play through the game. He scoffed at some of the things the fictional samurai said to you - what was so special about him anyways?

This is my idea of fun

Playing video games

Tendou shut his manga volume, and he noticed your curious eyes looking at the cover. Smirking playfully at you, he poked your forehead.

“Suddenly interested in pirates?” You sat back, rolling your eyes.

“Maybe. Who’s the character on the front?” He stared down at the covered, humming.

“Shanks. Say, I never thought you were one to go for a tough-looking guy.” He held a mischievous grin on his lips.

“Ha! Sure. Keep thinking that, Tendou.” He feigned a gasp.

“You used my last name too? With no honorific? No nickname? The rudeness! I’m so hurt!” You couldn’t help but egg your friend along.

“Hmm, maybe I should start watching One Piece if he’s in it…” But before Tendou could clap back, Yamagata slid into the seat next to you, a teasing smile on his lips.

“Ah, so that’s your type, huh? Tough-looking guys with scars?” You rolled your eyes at the libero. “I’m pretty tough too, aren’t I?”

“As if.” But it didn’t stop them from the teasing.

So what if you maybe did prefer more muscular guys? Tendou didn’t understand why the thought hurt his feelings so much. He may not have the bulging muscles, but he was just as strong. He sighed to himself, watching you from across the table as you shoved Yamagata playfully. Why would you want to like someone like himself anyways?

It's you, it's you, it's all for you

Everything I do

Tendou entered your dorm room unannounced as he always did - but this time he was surprised to see you in tears as you huddled in your blanket, staring at the tv. The first thing you usually did was banter with him about his bad habit of not knocking, but all he could do is stand shocked in your doorway.

Instantly, his gleeful eyes turned blood red. Shutting your door behind him, he quickly made his way over to you, his eyebrows furrowed, a scowl on his lips.

“Who do I have to beat up?” A million thoughts were running through his head - were you made fun of? Did someone reject you? Did you receive a bad score on an exam? He wrapped his arms around you the second your tear-filled eyes looked up at him.

“Who did it? Who hurt your feelings?” His genuine care and questions only made you cry harder into his chest.

“Dio.” You said, but it was too muffled for him to hear. Pulling back, he gave you a quizzical look. You pointed at the scene that was unfolding on your tv.

“Dio killed Kakyoin.” Tendou immediately smacked a hand to his face. His eyes flickered to the screen to see a tall, muscular character slumped against a water tower, a hole in his torso with text on the screen saying “Kakyoin Noriaki has died.” He couldn't help but laugh.

“You want me to beat up the mighty and powerful vampire lord and stand user, Dio Brando? For killing the guy who licks cherries weird?”

Slapping his arm, you pouted at him through your ugly tears. “Don’t make fun of me! I really liked him.” Tendou kept on snickering as he rubbed your back.

“I know, I’m sorry. But it’s just too funny to just not tease you.”

As ridiculous as it sounded, Tendou wondered if you would ever cry for him the way you cried for Kakyoin. He smiled to himself as he stared down at your face that was still buried in his chest - he hoped you wouldn’t notice how fast his heart was beating at the notion of you coming to him for comfort.

Maybe your type was animated men.

I tell you all the time

Heaven is a place on earth with you

Tendou put his jump comic down and just watched your gameplay - he was too distracted by his thoughts of you to focus on the new chapter of My Hero Academia.

He couldn’t help but pine over you. You had been so open and kind to him from the first time you met him - he remembered that day with ease. You had looked so confident walking into the volleyball gym, introducing yourself to the players as their new manager.

He was genuinely surprised that you weren’t turned away by his quirks - and he was thankful that above all, you treated him just like you treated everyone else.

It seemed so easy for you to become friends with the other first years at the time. You found commonalities with each of them, and you even managed to break Ushijima out of his shell by the time you all first went to nationals. Tendou remembered the hours upon hours that the two of you spent together - whether it was hanging out in the dorm watching animes, giving him tips and encouragement on the court during timeouts, or quality conversations on long bus rides to and from games. If you had never joined as manager, Tendou would’ve never guessed that the two of you would become as close friends as you were now. And he had always been a good guesser.

As he stared at you, controller in your hand, he remembered why he realized he liked you so much - it wasn’t because you shared a strong love for manga and anime. Okay, well, maybe it was, but it wasn’t the commonality. It was because you understood and even empathized with escaping through these fictional stories.

He knew what it was like to want to escape - to want to find paradise away from everyday life. On the court, Tendou could sneak into the small slice of heaven that he visited when he played volleyball. Off the court, he wanted nothing more than to have you safe in his arms as the two of you escaped into the world of whatever show you had chosen to binge that day.

To him, you were just as heavenly as the defeated looks on his opponents’ faces that he craved to see - maybe even more.

Tell me all the things you want to do

I heard that you like the bad girls, honey, is that true?

You squealed excitedly as you waved the game in front of Semi’s face after practice had ended.

“Semi-semi! Look what just came in the mail!” He pushed your hand out of his face, scoffing.

“I can’t see it if you’re rubbing in my face like that, idiot.” The setter had a smile on his face nonetheless, making you laugh as he took a look at the game. His eyes widened.

“No way, Castlevania Judgement?!?!” You nodded proudly, smiling at Tendou and Ushijima as they walked over to see what the commotion was about. The middle blocker gawked at the game you held in your hands - the third years had been talking about the release of it for at least a few months now.

“You jealous? If you want, we can play after dinner.” Semi quickly nodded, and you looked at Tendou and Ushijima for their answers.

“What, when have I ever said no to wanting to play video games with you?” To his reply, the captain simply nodded.

“Thank you for your invite. I am happy to attend as well.”

Tendou and Ushijima sat on the edge of your bed as you and Semi sat in front of your tv, switching the controller after every chapter of the game. Ushijima had no interest in actually playing the game - and Tendou knew he would get a chance to play with you later. Semi was more excited for the game than he was anyways.

You couldn’t contain your excitement as you gushed over one of the main characters, Simon Belmont. From the looks of it, he was a powerful fighter - and Tendou sighed once again - he was super muscular and tough-looking too. You were too invested in the gameplay with Semi, that you weren’t paying attention to the conversation Tendou sparked with Ushijima.

“I don’t get what’s so special about him anyways.” The redhead had a pout on his face, his arms crossed. Ushijima was very aware of the middle blocker’s crush on you - his friend often coming to the captain for his advice. While Ushijima had almost no experience and knowledge at all in terms of dating, he was always observant of the people around him, and was very blunt.

“Tendou-kun, if you like them so much, it would just be better to ask. It is pointless to be jealous over every fictional character they like.” He couldn’t help but gawk at the monotonous tone and the serious look on his captain’s face.

“I’ll raise you a better one. It’s pointless to ask because their standards seem to be so high anyways.” Ushijima couldn’t help but stare at his friend.

“And why should that stop you? They’re not real.” Tendou sighed, exacerbated.

“I get it, I get it! I know they’re not just going to pop out from the screen or anything.”

“But?”

“But that doesn’t mean those aren’t their same standards to people they prefer in real life,” Tendou admitted, and Ushijima knew he hit the reason why. Tendou may be tall, but he was lean and lanky. The muscle he had was nowhere near that of any of the fictional guys you crushed on. What could you possibly want from someone way weaker - someone like him?

“They are not the type of person to go completely for the way someone’s body appears. If that were the case, they should’ve confessed their attraction to either myself or Yamagata by now, based on your logic. Besides, they told me they liked you.” Tendou couldn't help but roll his eyes, placing a hand over his heart.

“Wakatoshi-kun, you wound me. Of course they like me - they wouldn’t be my friend if they didn’t. Couldn't you at least sugar coat your advice sometimes?”

It's better than I ever even knew

They say that the world was built for two

Before the prefectural qualifiers in the fall, Shiratorizawa managed to snag a practice match with none other than Aoba Johsai. While there was clear tension throughout the entire time, the teams kept interactions outside the court lines as light-hearted as possible. Seijoh managed to snag victory during the first match, but Shiratorizawa hit back just as hard, winning the second match.

The boys were currently loading their bags into the bus as you supervised them, reminding them to triple check that they had everything. You were almost caught by surprise when a volleyball rolled towards you, hitting the back of your foot gently.

“Sumimasen.” You heard from several meters behind you, making you turn around. It was the Great King himself, Oikawa Tooru, that was slowly jogging towards you - it almost seemed like he was doing it in slow motion. Your fellow teammates heard the setter, their eyes sneakily following him as he got closer to you. They couldn't help but snicker at their so-called sworn enemy - it was obvious by the way that his aura sparkled around him and the smoulder on his face that he had rolled the ball your way to get your attention.

“I’m so sorry, could you get that for me?” You nodded, a polite smile on your face. The great Oikawa was definitely handsome, to say the least - and Tendou couldn't help the childish frown that filled his features. As you picked up the ball and handed it back to the setter, he flashed you a heart-stopping, pearly white smile.

“Thank you,” he said, taking the ball from you, brushing your fingers in the process. “You are the manager for Shiratorizawa, right? I didn’t catch your name earlier.” Oikawa ran a hand through his silky hair as you gave him your name.

“Wow,” he flashed you another smile, “such a beautiful name for someone just as gorgeous.” Semi couldn’t help but let a snort out at Oikawa’s compliment.

“Thank you.” You took the complement in stride, deciding it would be nice to say something back. “You played great today, Oikawa-san.” He laughed jovially.

“Thank you, you’re very kind. And cute. Would you be interested in catching boba with me sometime? I know a cute place that has good milk tea and milk bread.” Tendou rolled his eyes at Oikawa’s words. It probably was his plan all along - to try to bewitch the manager of Shiratorizawa. When Tendou saw a smile grow on your face, he couldn’t help but feel defeated. Were you actually going to say yes to him?

“I’m very flattered Oikawa-san. But I’m sorry, I must decline your offer.” Oikawa’s eyes widened in surprise. The Great King? Being rejected? “You’re not really my type.” You turned around, making your way onto the bus, leaving Oikawa with his jaw on the ground, the ace on Seijoh’s team as well as your teammates laughing their asses off at the scene that had just unfolded in front of their very eyes.

“That’s what you get, Crappykawa! You should’ve gone to Shiratorizawa!”

“Iwa-chan, that's not funny! I feel like my heart has been broken into thousands of pieces!”

“Well, if they’re gonna hit it, they better hit it til it breaks!”

“Pfft, I’m actually not surprised they didn’t say yes to him.” Semi commented, placing his duffle bag into the storage compartment. Tendou’s head quirked at the statement.

“Why’s that?” Reon asked, storing his things as well, making Semi and Yamagata snicker.

“Did you see how flat his ass was? I’m 100% sure their type is thicker guys. Like their ace, or something.” The three of them burst into laughter, Tendou only slightly laughing along as well. Ushijima only grunted in disagreement as he shut the compartment’s door.

���I believe their type is actually redheads.” All of the third years looked at their captain with wide eyes and dead silence - before laughing even harder. Semi slapped Ushijima’s bicep lightly, bending over. Tendou’s eyes widened - Ushijima was not the type to joke around, right?

“I didn’t think you actually knew how to crack jokes, Ushijima-kun!” The olive-haired man only looked down at his fellow third years in confusion.

“I am not joking. I simply just decided to ask them earlier, and I am only relaying the answer they gave me.” They couldn’t help but bend over, Yamagata even wiping tears from all the laughing.

“Stop! Your bluntness is only making it worse!” By the way the rest of his teammates reacted, Tendou believed Ushijima really must have been joking - in his own way. He had just picked a hair color different from Oikawa’s, right?

“Good one, Wakatoshi-kun.” Tendou let out a chuckle, giving his friend a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

Only worth living if somebody is loving you

And baby, now you do

Tendou’s eyes widened as he relieved all the memories. Was Ushijima actually serious? He had never asked his friend about it - but perhaps it was because he was too scared to actually know the truth. Quickly, Tendou pulled out his phone and googled each of the characters - Shanks, Kakyoin, and Simon. The samurai was still on your screen, and he flipped through the tabs on his internet browser, trying to find the similarities.

Obviously, they were all built rather strong - but Tendou couldn’t get what Ushijima said out of his head. They were all redheads, after all. Why hadn’t he noticed this before? He looked back at you, your attention still on the otome game. Should he ask you? Would it be weird? Tendou thought about texting Ushijima, but he quickly decided not to. He already knew what his friend would say. Right after he called your name gently, you set down the controller and turned to look up at him.

“What’s up, Tori-kun?” He had never felt this nervous before - it wasn’t even like he was going to confess to you or anything either.

“Uh - what’s your type? Like, in guys? I promise I won’t tease you this time, I just want to know.” Surprisingly, you smirked at him. What were you thinking?

“You gonna brag to Eita and Yato that you finally found out after all these years?” The apparent blush on Tendou’s cheeks only spread further.

“What? No, I wouldn’t do that… Unless I had to,” he said, trying his best to come off as his usual teasing self. This only made you snicker at him.

“I’m surprised you guys haven’t beat it out of Toshi-kun yet. I already told him a few months ago.” Tendou’s eyes widened at what you said.

“Huh?” You rolled your eyes at him.

“Yeah.” He couldn’t believe how casual you were about it. You were always so hellbent on keeping it from them - but perhaps it was because they made such a big deal out of it in the first place. Tendou didn’t exactly know how to respond to you - he was still trying to process the realization. So he had guessed wrong this whole time?

After sitting in silence for a couple of seconds, you gave him a playful smile. “Redheads,” you said, turning around and picking up your controller. Ushijima’s words echoed with yours in his brain.

Besides, they told me they liked you. Tendou let out a choked noise.

“I’ve made a mistake!”

You burst out laughing at Tendou’s exclamation. Setting your controller down once more, you stood up and turned, leaning your elbows against your bed. “You guys really are that oblivious, huh? Even Toshi-kun saw that I liked you. He went so far as to ask me about it too.” You propped up your head with your hand, staring at him. Getting past his initial shock, Tendou settled back down.

“How shallow of you,” he teased, leaning his head closer to yours. “I can’t believe the only reason why you like me is because my hair is red, yanno?” In return, you inched your face up closer to his as if you were challenging him.

“I know,” you said smugly, your eyes flickering down to his lips, “I’m such an awful friend. I’ll only break your heart once I replace you with another redhead.” He smirked as he noticed where your eyes had glanced. Tendou may have been oblivious, but he wasn’t called the Guess Monster for nothing.

“I’m guessing that you want to kiss me right now, hmm?” He asked quietly, dangerously moving closer to you - your faces now only mere inches apart. A blush crept onto both of your cheeks. You answered back, your voice nearly a whisper.

“Why don’t you find out for yourself, Guess Monster?”

Immediately, Tendou closed the distance between the two of you. Your lips were warm and soft, making him wish he had at least put on chapstick earlier. His heart was beating so hard inside of his chest that he was afraid you’d hear it, but you said nothing as the two of you pulled away. Saying nothing, he only smiled as he traced his fingers up your neck, cupping your jaw. Pulling you into a deeper kiss, he sighed contentedly as he felt your hands trail up his torso.

Kissing you felt like paradise.

As always, thank you so much for reading!! please like, reblog, and follow 🥺

~ Crystal

through the summer and the fall masterlist

blog masterlist

buy me a ko-fi! (but only if you want to and can)

BONUS

The following day, Tendou met you at your door to walk with you to lunch. With your hand in his, the two of you took your sweet time making your way to the cafeteria to meet up with the other third years. Today, Coach Washijo had asked for them to play a practice match against the Miyagi first years he was holding a training camp for. You decided to tag along since you had nothing planned to do for the weekend.

As you talked about a weird dream you had, Tendou couldn’t help but gaze adoringly at you - he couldn’t believe that you liked him, or that you were actually dating him now even if it had only been about twelve hours. The two of you waited in the lunch line, his chin resting on top of your head as he held both of your hands from behind you - it felt so natural to touch you. He could tell that people were staring - but none of it mattered when all he needed was the sound of your excited voice and the blatant look of love in your eyes.

Stepping away from your back slightly, he moved forward to gently place a kiss on your cheek - and that's when he heard the yells. The both of you turned to find your fellow third and second years staring at the two of you with wide eyes and mouths catching flies. Goshiki accompanied the team as well, his face beat red. Ushijima was behind the flustered first year, a rare half-smile on his face.

“Afternoon guys!” You had said it so casually as you leaned back into Tendou’s arms, allowing him to place a cheeky kiss on your temple - making Semi gag and Yamagata nearly tear up.

“I did tell you all that they preferred redheads.”

[taekooktimeline]

Start of May - mid May 2021

Start of May - mid May 2021, (released August 3, 2021):  Run 145 is filmed, which is a continuation of Run 120-121 that aired on December 15 and 22, 2020. The members must travel back in time to the Joseon Dynasty to find the headstone. 

Tae is already in character and starts a monologue -

I’m not a student of the Korean language but based on Tae’s pronunciation, and the similarity to Yoongi’s quip, it seems as if “did you ask me to forget” and “two trillion” are similar in Korean.

At Yoongi’s joke, the members laugh, with Jk looking to Tae and scrunching his nose.

Timestamp 1:47

Jk is a painter, with an individual mission to collect seven scarves in different colors.

Timestamp 7:30

Tae continues to be in character as he introduces himself as the Warrior Muhyul. 

Jk taps Tae’s equipment props while he’s theatrically introducing himself -

He playfully (and gently) goes for Jk’s neck, much to the group’s amusement. You can see Jk’s fond expression through the skit.

Timestamp 7:42 , or https://twitter.com/kthjjk_taekook/status/1422543884832358423?s=21 

https://twitter.com/kookvloversclub/status/1422578326183366661?s=21

The members laugh in amusement that Tae struggles for an inordinate length of time as a “warrior” to get the sword back in its holder. Tae joins in with his own boisterous laughter at his struggle, covering his face in doing so since his mustache and beard make to fall off when he laughs. Jungkook, being an attentive observer, notices this and brings it to the group’s attention.

Jungkook, being an attentive observer, notices this and brings it to the group’s attention.

Timestamp 8:07 or

https://twitter.com/btsupdate_7/status/1422552828158136332?s=21

Tae’s mission is to play an arrow throwing game three times with success.

Timestamp 8:12 

Upon entering the village, the first thing the group checks out is the wanted posters.

Jk immediately looks to Tae’s and jokes he’s the spy since his drawing is missing his mustache and beard.

Timestamp 11:06 or 

https://twitter.com/jksvnte/status/1422577895025827850?s=21 

Succeeding in their individual missions will unlock their respectively assigned abilities, so as members look for the missing headstone piece, they also are on a search for the tools that will aid them in unlocking their mystery abilities. 

Tae starts by gathering the scarves he sees (part of Jk’s mission). He also collects Jimin’s flowers and Jin’s puzzle piece.

A little into the game, Jungkook ends up running into Tae, who waits for the younger, who asks what he’s doing.

Tae turns over the scarves he’s found (Tae also gives Jimin his flowers later on so it can be deduced that Tae is helping members with their missions).

Tae has earned Jk’s trust, and Jk extends his hand out, to which Tae takes, briefly holding hands.

Sequence without subs -

Credits: @vantebear

Close up -

https://twitter.com/sasga_kv/status/1422539476904005639?s=21

They then team up to try to decipher the puzzle piece clue Tae found.

Timestamp starts at 20:31, or https://twitter.com/tigerbunnles/status/1422540910420631566?s=21

The royal army has spotted them. If caught by them, the member must complete a penalty. Jk and Tae take off running before Tae decides to “fight”, staying in character. Tae, in a scene reminiscent of Run 32, distracts the army and, in doing so, protects Jk from getting caught.

Jungkook intends to wait for Tae so they can continue on as a duo. He asks the film crew if it's an individual mission, and upon realising it’s not a penalty but just an individual mission, he still decides to wait for Tae. Tae, however, is still in the dark about the “penalty” and hence encourages JK to go,thinking he is protecting him. This explains why Jk is hesitant to leave as opposed to Tae who insisted on helping to protect Jk and encourage his escape.

Tae, continuing on as his character, insists he go on without him -

(Ignore the obnoxious, incredibly irrelevant subtext that BH seems to want to revert back to. It should go without stating the obvious that Tae did not say brothers at all in his dialogue) - 

Jk is endeared before taking off -

timestamp 21:29, or https://twitter.com/dailyofjk/status/1422541203585777672?s=21

https://twitter.com/_k91230v_/status/1422552565372305412?s=21 

https://twitter.com/hellotae_vv/status/1422592288765538304?s=21 

Compilation of run 32 compared to today’s run may be found here - 

Timestamp 18:13 - 18:34  https://www.vlive.tv/video/52630 

Video comparison - https://twitter.com/vantetum/status/1422544062243029003?s=20 

https://twitter.com/sasga_kv/status/1422546201736482822?s=21 

Keep in mind, Jungkook makes it clear in this episode that he’s going to complete his personal mission independently, forgoing teamwork, unlike some other members who believe teaming up is wisest.

timestamp 12:16

The fact that he waited for Tae shows that Tae gained his trust and he was willing to team up and not work as an individual. It should be noted though, that as the mission progressed, Jk was open to teaming up with others, as he inquired with Jimin about a puzzle piece he found (which was part of Jin’s challenge). 

Another thing worth noting is Jk was really cagey about what his personal mission is. This is understandable since three members are thieves looking to sabotage the game.

Timestamp 12:31

Interestingly, though, Tae seems to be aware that the scarves correlate to Jungkook’s individual mission. It’s speculative if Jk told him or if he just deduced (remember he does comment upon handing the scarves to Jk “you’re the painter”, which implies he just was able to just discern for himself, independently, that the scarves correlated to Jk). Remember, while the audience was clued in twice as to what each person’s challenge was, the members seem to be in the dark about each other’s individual missions (going off of Jimin’s conversation with Jungkook). You decide if this is important.

timestamp 13:37

The group takes a break. Tae playfully asks his crew to announce his arrival, to the members’ amusement.

If you zoom in, you can see Jk straining his neck to better see Tae -

and he bites his lip while looking at Tae -

https://twitter.com/_k91230v_/status/1422558697209745411?s=21

https://twitter.com/kv_real_luv_/status/1422543745883377665?s=21 

Clear version - https://twitter.com/kookbbwi/status/1422596503579906050?s=21 

After the lip bite, and leaning to get a better look, we get to see a clearer shot of a very Jk smitten at Tae’s arrival -

Timestamp 39:32, or https://twitter.com/loveis9597/status/1422540656744886272?s=21 

https://twitter.com/white_naru/status/1422541583036010503?s=21 

The members become suspicious that Tae is part of the thieves. Jungkook is defensive on Tae’s behalf, pointing out “Taehyungie hyung” helped him with his individual challenge.

Timestamp 45:16 or https://twitter.com/angel_hemaya/status/1422553196749365255?s=21 

Final end ments for this episode that may or may not mean anything -

The first two scarves Jungkook finds are purple and green. This is more than likely coincidental, since it’s random luck which scarves he encounters first. I would not consider this relevant to Taekook’s relationship, nor would I count it in the significance of purple and green continuing to crop up between them (microphones, Jk’s FESTA 2021 concert earring, bracelets, etc). However, since it’s a cute coincidence, I have chosen to include it for fun.

timestamp 14:30

Another angle -

https://twitter.com/kv_real_luv_/status/1422531491481800708?s=21

Raw - http://vlive.tv/video/257533 

Run 146 - Part 2 is a continuation of last week’s episode. Taekook walk side by side as the members head to the central houses to discuss.

no space -

You can see Taekook sticking close, trailing well behind the other members as they talk.

close up with arrow to more easily spot them -

Timestamp 42:04 or

https://twitter.com/9597gif/status/1425088823378259969?s=21 https://twitter.com/kthjjk_taekook/status/1425093557296242691?s=21

https://twitter.com/taekookfolder/status/1425083158660255745?s=21 

Raw - https://www.vlive.tv/post/0-24551057 

Run 147- wraps up the 3-part run series, which was a continuation of Run 120-121. Hobi, Jimin, Joon and Jungkook decide they’re the 4 “innocents” (meaning Tae, Yoongi and Jin are the thieves). Joon comments that Tae is laughing at their choice.

Tae -

Jimin chimes in that they are doomed if it is him. Jk chimes in Tae is not a thief-

This makes the other members pause on bringing him back with them to 2021.

Timestamp 30:45

This is more cute than anything. BTS are overcome with hysterical giggles as they debate if Jungkook is a thief. Jk asks -

And this causes Tae to collapse in laughter -

Timestamp 32:07 https://twitter.com/vanteficient/status/1427612766685302785?s=21 

The group gets confirmation via Tae’s question to staff that all wrong (not spies) will get spanked. Tae doesn’t want to be punished so he tells the group to take Jk out.

Jk insists he isn’t a thief.

Now Taekook accuse each other -

Timestamp 32:31 https://twitter.com/taekookfolder/status/1427618473522438148?s=21

Tae convinces the group to take him back to 2021, switching him out with Jk. Before they see if their guess is right, Tae points to Jk, who points back.

Spoiler - neither end up being the thief :)

Timestamp 36:01 https://twitter.com/taekookfolder/status/1427620487455199235?s=21 

Just for fun - Jungkook was seen wearing shoes the way Tae does (remember, Tae isn’t a fan of enclosing his feet).

https://twitter.com/hellotae_vv/status/1427616016167669767?s=21 

Raw - https://www.vlive.tv/post/1-24677297 

[blackjack-15]

Ziplines, Blood Ties, and Colonavirus — Thoughts on: The Silent Spy (SPY)

Previous Metas: SCK/SCK2, STFD, MHM, TRT, FIN, SSH, DOG, CAR, DDI, SHA, CUR, CLK, TRN, DAN, CRE, ICE, CRY, VEN, HAU, RAN, WAC, TOT, SAW, CAP, ASH, TMB, DED, GTH

Hello and welcome to a Nancy Drew meta series! 30 metas, 30 Nancy Drew Games that I’m comfortable with doing meta about. Hot takes, cold takes, and just Takes will abound, but one thing’s for sure: they’ll all be longer than I mean them to be.

Each meta will have different distinct sections: an Introduction, an exploration of the Title, an explanation of the Mystery, a run-through of the Suspects. Then, I’ll tackle some of my favorite and least favorite things about the game, and finish it off with ideas on how to improve it.

If any game requires an extra section or two, they’ll be listed in the paragraph above, along with my list of previous metas.

These metas are not spoiler free, though I’ll list any games/media that they might spoil here: SPY; mentions of the “Nancy Games” (ASH-SPY); SAW; mention of National Treasure (2004).

The Intro:

It’s our penultimate meta, and this time, it’s personal.

In every way, The Silent Spy is the culmination of the Nancy Games. Ever since her trip back home in ASH, Nancy has been increasingly featured in the games, showing us more of her personality, her life, and her backstory — all in an effort to lead up to this story, where we actually delve into Nancy’s place in the world and what it means that she lives in it.

And the answer to that is a lot less wholly idealistic than the franchise would have given 20+ games ago.

I don’t mean to say that SPY is a cynical game — it’s honestly fairly neutral, edging on positive — but that SPY accepts the fundamental truth that all of the Nancy games have been leading up to: that Nancy, though talented, hardworking, and connected, is simply another fish when it comes to the sea of life. She’s not unique in any way that really matters – look at her foils in Alexei, in Jamila, in Deirdre, in Jessalyn — and yet she continues to work hard, to solve puzzles, and to right old wrongs.

At least for me, this is a hopeful message. The point of “Nancy Drew, Girl Detective” is not that no one could do what she does, it’s not that she’s the best, most experienced sleuth in the world, and it’s not that she’s the Last, Best Hope of those who call upon her for aid. The point behind her character is that she’s a relatively normal (if wealthy) girl who does what she can, and chooses to do it again and again.

There’s a wonderful part in the equally wonderful movie National Treasure when our heroes are reading a part of the Declaration — the part talking about the right of the citizens to throw off a despotic government like the British had become — and Ben (Nicholas Cage, actually in a good movie for once!) defines it in modern speech:

“If there’s something wrong, those who have the ability to take action have the responsibility to take action.”

In the beginning of the Nancy Drew games series, Nancy is merely an intuitive puzzle solver. She gets her cases through family connections, turns up at places where mysteries happen to occur, etc. etc. As time goes on and she practices, she eventually comes to the point where she’s being hired for bigger and bigger cases, more and more regularly — in short, she starts to live the truth of that quote. Nancy is, at her core, someone with the ability to take action against things that are Wrong. Throughout this series — and most especially, throughout the “Nancy” games (ASH-SPY), she becomes someone who recognizes her responsibility to take action.

And that’s what’s showcased here in SPY. Upon arriving and learning that she’s been led to Glasgow under false circumstances, Nancy is immediately and wholly over her head — but she’s still someone who has the ability to take action to right a wrong. When she’s working against Revenant, warning the scientist, or reading through secret memo after secret memo, she’s not doing it with the intent to Save the World; she’s finishing Kate Drew’s last task. Her loyalty isn’t to Glasgow, to Cathedral, to MI5, or any other player in this story — her loyalty is to her mother, and to the task Kate Drew died while trying to finish.

Which is, in my view, the best possible motivation in a game that’s all about family.

With that discussion behind us, I want to talk a little bit here about the other theme of this game — power. Revenant, as the terrorist group that they are, want to seize power; their goal is to run Glasgow (branching off from there into a wider sphere, of course) through seizing power during a (self-induced) state of emergency — aka, what’s referred to in-game as the Colony operation.

This is, of course, Politics 101 — whip people up into a frenzy, come in promising to Save Everyone, and entrench yourself in power that you can’t be moved from with any amount of ease. And while Revenant planned it for 2005, it would work even better in 2013, when social media and instant, 24-hour news cycles can keep the fear alive far more effectively than Revenant would have hoped for nearly a decade prior.

Both in 2005 and 2013, Revenant nearly succeeds, only to be foiled by a red-head out of her depth but who tries anyway (the difference between the two, of course, is that Kate was isolated and Nancy had backup). The most startling thing — and one of my favorite things about this game – is that it doesn’t end with Nancy ‘killing’ Revenant once and for all, or even stopping the Colony Operation once and for all. Nancy is, in every way, out of her depth here; she’s not used by either side as an agent, or even as an asset — she is, as Zoe reminds her, a tool, valuable for what she might know, not for her skills, not for who she is, or what she works for.

As the games from TOT on have worked hard to expand Nancy’s world and tie it together, SPY shows the benefit of having a wide-open world: that the world goes on, people live and die, and secretive organizations (ATAC, Revenant, Cathedral, MI5…) plot and scheme to remake the world in their image.

This, in my view, is also a great thing. The thing that Nancy Drew books (and a lot of the early games) get wrong is that Nancy fixes (or is party to fixing) all of the problems introduced. The piano-playing girl that Nancy meets ends up with a Grandmaster as a teacher; the inheritance goes to the Worthy Widow and Her Daughter; Nancy rescues her tied-up father AND solves his case for his client all in one brilliant masterstroke.

That’s not to say that every story should have all of its threads dangling by the end, but Nancy is simply a smart and resourceful girl, working (most of the time) with her own relatively meager resources. She shouldn’t be the answer to the world’s problems, and I think it’s lovely that, especially in the Nancy games, she really isn’t. Nancy is a helper, and that’s far more valuable than being an omniscient, all-powerful being who can magically fix everyone’s problems just by being there.

The last thing I want to talk about in this introduction is how good SPY is for Nancy’s own personal lore. There’s a lot of fuss every time SPY is brought up about how “Nancy’s mom actually died when she was three!!” which, honestly, tells me that the 60s re-writes (which, yes, if you’re pedantic, started in ’59) did more damage than I had previously thought.

The original Nancy Drew books were written in the 30s by various ghostwriters, and were a little different from the yellow-bound 60s rewrites that most people consider the “old Nancy Drew books”. 30s Nancy Drew was a little closer to our games-universe Nancy; brash, outspoken, punishingly independent, and incredibly capable. She’s also a bit violent and unruly, has graduated from school at 16, lost her mother at 10, and does as she pleases with the occasional call home to reassure Carson or (more often) to ask a question about the law.

Sadly, other than taking out a few racial and societal overtones that weren’t really acceptable after 30 years — mostly by taking out any non-white characters and including different forms of bias, note — the yellow rewrites weren’t an improvement to the stories or to Nancy’s character. Nancy becomes less bold, less independent, and far more focused on describing each meal in punishing amounts of detail. The words “kindly” and “sweetly” were increasingly added after “Nancy said”, she’s far more deferential to authority, and her mother instead passes when Nancy is 3, rather than 10.

In changing the form of the media to video games, rather than books, what would eventually become HER had a choice; they could align themselves with the newest Nancy Drew books — the Nancy Drew Files and Nancy Drew on Campus, both of which were known for being Hotter and Sexier (and, in the case of Campus, ridiculously stupid) — or choose what people called “the classics” — the yellow-spine 60s rewrites, as the once-famous blue books had been all but forgotten in the 90s. In the first (and still one of the last, honestly) brilliant move of the series, HER chose to mix and match the things that made for good game fodder from (nearly, given how much the Campus books suck) every written incarnation of Nancy.

And, to their credit, they chose an important fact from the 30s: Nancy’s mother died when she was 10, not when she was 3.

Losing a parent is a defining moment no matter when it happens, but the exact effect often changes based on (among other things) the age of the child. In order for Nancy to be the kind of person who is influenced by the mystery of her mother’s death, her mother had to have died when Nancy could remember — thus, 3 is right out, as Nancy might remember tiny bits and pieces of the events leading up to and right after, but nothing else.

By taking bits and pieces of contrasting (and often contradictory) lore and making their own out of it, HER (and I’m hat-tipping Cathy and Nik especially here, given Nancy’s characterization spike beginning around WAC/TOT) gives us a version of Nancy that’s similar to the sleuth we know and love from the books and movies (ignoring the 2007 disaster) and, occasionally, TV shows, while still keeping her mostly consistent and showing us a few new flashes that make this character stand out and win her place in the Drewniverse.

Now, with all of that said, let’s move on to this game in specific, shall we?

The Title:

The Silent Spy, as a title, is one that is wonderfully mysterious and really makes you want to know more — right up until the title drop within the game itself, at which point it shifts from quite alluring to desperately sad and foreboding.

After all, “the only silent spy is a dead spy.”

As the game really is about our resident Silent Spy — Kate Drew and her actions and legacy — this is really the only title that the game could have had, and it suits it down to the ground, both with its mystery and with its sadness.

In life, Kate Drew was silenced, and in death, she is obviously necessarily silent — but Nancy reads her words, remembers her speech, listens to her voice, and, of course, hears her song, whenever the world is quiet enough. And I think that’s a wonderful dichotomy for the title to introduce before the game has even properly begun.

The Mystery:

Summoned to Scotland by a mysterious message and guided by a photograph of her mother, Nancy arrives ready to retrace her mother’s steps — only to be thrown into a world of espionage, gadgets, untraceable phone calls, and deadly mishaps. Her luggage (and her best clue about her mother) having been stolen, the presence of an old family friend who refuses to talk, an evasive skiptracer, an excitable local, and a clever intelligence agent all work together to ensure that Nancy is off-balance the minute she arrives.

All, of course, is even less what it seems than Nancy is prepared for, and she spends to game gloriously off-balance trying to keep up with the larger forces pushing and pulling her. She needs to retrace her mother’s steps, escape from certain death, dig deep into the pasts and presents of the people she meets, and do some impressive sleuthing of her own to even make the change from tool to player — and even that might not be enough to keep her safe when the dastardly minds at Revenant come a-knocking…

As a mystery — or as a collection of intertwined mysteries, honestly — SPY succeeds at what a lot of other games tried (and ultimately failed, in one way or another), which is to link all the happenings in the game together under one cohesive plot that grows more and more horrifying the more you think about it. GTH has a fandom reputation for fridge horror, but SPY holds its own easily when you consider Kate’s fatal chase, Moira’s abduction and guilt, the threats that Ewan and Alec operate under, and the life that Zoe leads on the regular.

Every action that Nancy takes benefits someone — whether it be Cathedral, Revenant, herself, or an interested third (fourth?) party — without her really meaning to, and the game is great in including another question in every reveal.

The beauty of SPY’s mystery(s) is that it takes careful reading, paying attention, and honestly replaying in order to grasp the enormity of every action. No matter how many times you play or replay, there’s something new to find — a time-sensitive conversation, an implication in a note, a theory behind the presence of a clue or a piece of (what you previously thought to be) set dressing — it honestly is limitless, and it just helps to contribute to the feeling that this is a world that Nancy isn’t meant to truly be fully immersed in.

And speaking of people who are immersed in that world…

The Suspects:

We’ll begin, for organization’s sake, with our out-and-out (current) agents first, then tackle our other suspects, then our Nancy-related people, and finish off with — for the final time in this series, as this is the last “Nancy” game — Nancy herself.

A new, yet returning character, Bridget Shaw is one of the cover identities of Zoe Wolfe — aka Samantha Quick, who Nancy impersonated in VEN and who helped the Hardy Boys in Treasure on the Tracks.

Prior to SPY, I had money for a very long time that Samantha Quick would eventually come into the game, and I was absolutely delighted with her appearance in SPY — where else would she be so well situated? Zoe is snarky, disillusioned, cynical, and sometimes downright nihilistic, but she’s also someone who took up a job that, percentage-wise, no one wants to or is able to do, because she’s alone:

“I work in the field for two reasons: one, I don’t need any help. And two, because no one would miss me if I fell off the grid.”

I love watching the ND games subvert their own formula, and Zoe is a great example of the “helper”-type suspect who really isn’t like your traditional “helper” at all. She’s there to do a job, and if sticking with Nancy helps her to do it, then that’s what she does. But she’s not there to Right some Great Wrong for the warm fuzzies of it all, or even because it’s Just and Right. She’s there because it’s her job, and her job is to play the game.

“It’ll be brief, painful, and full of garbage…but that’s life, isn’t it? And that’s the metaphor I’m riding into the grave.”

Next is our (kind of) double operative and partial culprit, Ewan McLeod (real name Sean Kent Davis) is a clever operative of Cathedral who decided that he wasn’t valued or important anywhere near as much as he should have been, and reached out to Revenant to supply them with information. Summoning Nancy to Scotland, Ewan is easily able to gain a portion of her trust as the Watcher in the Wires and is her tie to the relative safety of Cathedral.

As a culprit, Ewan is — ultimately — pitiable. Not that he’s not an egotist with a victim complex a mile wide, but when you actually look at the situation he’s in, it’s hard not to feel bad for him, even though he did it to himself. Having contacted Revenant, he’s now attempting to hold a tiger by the tail, praying it can’t eat him — and his worst fears come true, as his loved ones are threatened (“trying to keep my friends and family alive”, remember) and he’s discarded and made a target by the terrorists that he tried to use to make himself important.

Given the rather chilling threats made by Revenant, I’m inclined to believe that when we find him tied up, he didn’t do it to himself. Nancy would have noticed if the knots were too loose to have been done by a third party, and we know Revenant told him several times that if he wasn’t useful, he’d be punished.

While Ewan makes terrible choices, he’s also a pawn being played by a larger force — like everyone else in the game — and that is at least worth pity, if not forgiveness.

Next up is our former Cathedral agent and all-around tough cookie Moira Chisholm. As one of the people responsible for the events that led to Kate’s death — though no one but Revenant is responsible for killing her, note — Moira lives with guilt, regret, and a powerful sense of loneliness that only the loss of everyone you hold dear can bring.

Moira’s guilty of nothing in the present-day calamity, and helps Nancy the very best she can in her own limited power, but is ultimately a character for whom the past looms larger than the present can match. She has her hobbies, but her house is filled with memories of days when people sat on her couch and broke her teacups, not of hours reading alone.

She’s an intensely tragic character, and an example of what happens when your need to know the “truth” can get in the way of doing right by those you love. Moira lost everything to her previous job for Cathedral (who is implied to have left her, an otherwise dangerous free agent, alive because they knew (correctly!) she would become stagnant and docile under the weight of her own guilt, ouch), and yet she risks life and limb to help Nancy —not because she thinks it’ll exculpate her, but because Moira, at her core, wants to help the world, no matter what it’s taken from her.

Our final suspect is Glasgow’s resident skiptracer and unwilling pawn Alec Fell, who, along with Moira, can be traced back to Kate Drew’s death. Originally, Alec investigated a mysterious car crash — the one that killed Kate Drew — and, when he didn’t stop after a warning, had his office ransacked and burned. In the few months before the game starts, he experiences another break-in and his sister is kidnapped, with a message informing him that if he wants to guarantee her safety, to comply with Revenant’s orders.

Unlike Ewan, when pushed into a corner, Alec does his best to raise a little hell while still trying to keep his sister safe. For everything that he does on Revenant’s orders, he also helps Nancy out, finds her suitcase, locates Moira, tells Nancy where the cards are, and does his best to push back in other, little ways.

Sure Alec is guilty of a few things — most notably the fake shooting scare in Nancy’s room — but he’s a very active character, riding the rails and searching for anyone who can help put an end to this situation. It’s not for nothing that he’s a fan favorite, both for this game for the series at large, and his excellent VA and charming dialogue only make up half of his appeal.

On our Nancy side, we’ve got a few returning characters and one (semi) new one, so let’s go through them before getting (for the last time!) to the girl detective herself.

Carson Drew, father and golf model extraordinaire, is here to ground (as in steady, not punish) Nancy as she goes through this mystery. As the other person besides Nancy who was most affected by Kate’s death, Carson is an invaluable source of Kate-related knowledge, but is concerned foremost with his daughter’s safety.

For my money, the most important thing we learn about Carson here is that, well…he married the wrong woman as much as Kate married the wrong man. It’s sort of simplistic to say that their story shows that, in some cases, love doesn’t conquer all, but it’s true all the same.

Carson was happy to jet off to Scotland on occasion to visit Moira and her husband, but being happy to take vacations is a very different thing from a life constantly shifting and changing. He’s a prosecutor, so he has a strong sense of justice, but also has a strong sense of stability — he chose a career with a set trajectory and clearly defined rules.

Kate Austin, however, was a journalist who occasionally consulted for a Spy Organization when life got a little too boring (it’s important to note that she wasn’t a straight-out spy like Moira — she was far too free-spirited for that). She had all of Nancy’s inquisitiveness but more people skills than Nancy will probably ever have, and made friends easily.

It’s easy to see how she would have been attracted to the All-American, hardworking, solidly intelligent, emotionally balanced man, just as it’s easy to see how the slightly flashy, clever, inquisitive, intuitive redhead would have attracted him.

If this is starting to feel like I’m describing two other characters here…well, longtime readers of this meta series already know what happens when I use a paragraph to describe characters without using their names.

Kate is important in the game in that we’re shown her differences from and —more enlightening — similarities to Nancy. Nancy’s actions in this game are reflections on what Kate did (and what she would have done) as much as they show how the daughter diverges from the mother. And while Nancy doesn’t have her mother’s people skills or ease of making friendships, what she does have is her mother’s – and I’m going to use this word purposely — flightiness.

At the end of the day, Carson couldn’t be with Kate when she flitted off around the world, and Ned can’t be with Nancy when she does the same.

(I also find it interesting that we deal in the games only with Carson’s side of the family, and never even have a mention of Nancy’s maternal grandparents. Yes, I know Kate could have been an only child and her parents could already be dead…but I do like the possibility that they blame Carson for Kate’s death (entirely undeservedly!) and thus cut off contact. But this meta is for, well, meta, not fanfic.)

Ned Nickerson plays an important role in SPY in that he tries to help Nancy the best he can, even to the point of breaking and entering in her house (though really, it’s just entering, since he has permission) to find a document for her.

Ned comes off brilliantly in this game, but it’s important to note that his big, impressive (yet charmingly understated) speech isn’t to Nancy, but to Carson. And it doesn’t sway Nancy, it sways Carson. Because, at the end of the day, Carson can relate to lots of the pieces that make Ned what he is, and the situation that Ned finds himself in.

He’s wonderful, as boyfriends go; he calls her, encourages her, offers oddly prescient hints…but he doesn’t go with her. It’d be easy enough to make that a point in the series that, though we don’t see it happen, Ned often accompanies Nancy on her escapades, but instead we’re told — often through contention — that the exact opposite is true.

Ned is solid, true, intelligent, emotionally balanced and kind, but above all, Ned is stable. He’s enrolled in college — in an honors frat — and plays sports, attends his classes faithfully, remembers important dates…the list goes on and on. These are all wonderful characteristics for a boyfriend, but he, like Carson with Kate, ultimately isn’t what Nancy needs out of a relationship — and she is certainly not, like Kate with Carson, what Ned needs out of a relationship.

At the end of the day, both would need to compromise — Ned would need to set off with her sometimes, and Nancy would need to stay close to home sometimes — in order to make the other happy. And, well…nothing we have in any of the games says that either one would do that in the long term. Sure, Nancy returns home after the fight in CAP for ASH…but is in Egypt the very next game — immediately followed by Colorado, Georgia, and Scotland.

And honestly, this is the basis on which I disagree with Ned/Nancy as a couple. It serves neither one and, as we see in quite a few games where they squabble, they can make each other worse.

And speaking of our resident sleuth, let’s talk about Nancy Drew before wrapping up this character section.

In SPY, Nancy is — as mentioned above — a tool, used by both sides to get what they want without caring how it personally affects her. The big thing we learn about Nancy in this — and one of my favorite characteristics about her — is that Nancy is pretty ruthless. To me, it makes sense that, to get the information she wants, Nancy does what a terrorist organization tells her to because 1) it’s not her home immediately at risk, and 2) most importantly, Nancy has done bad things in the name of a good end in pretty much every game.

Lying, stealing, breaking priceless artifacts, endangering others — none of these are really new to Nancy, and what SPY does is brings that to the forefront. Sure, you as the player have the option not to do what Revenant tells Nancy to do…but then you miss out on big parts of Kate’s characterization — and, more importantly, a big part of Nancy’s.

In an unprecedented move, I’m going to reference National Treasure again, and quote part of Ben’s speech before he steals the Declaration:

“[A toast] to high treason…here’s to men who did what was considered wrong, in order to do what they thought was right — what they knew was right.”

To me, that shows us why Nancy does what she does — in SPY, and in every other game where she lies, cheats, and steals her way to the truth. She does it because, at the end of the day, Nancy is a person who is ruthless in her pursuit of her goal. And that’s a valuable trait.

Especially when one is dealing with spies, terrorists, and shady government operatives.

The Favorite:

I love most of SPY, so I’ll stick here with the things that especially stick out to me.

As covered above, I love: what this game does for the lore of the ND world; ‘Samantha Quick’; the many motivations of our suspects, and the emotional resonance that this game has.

Beyond that, there are a lot of little things. I absolutely love that they got the relative of the guy who plays Carson to play Nancy when she was little — that’s adorable to me. I love the cookie-making minigame, the outfit swap for Bridget/Zoe, the voice work for all of our suspects and helpers, and the beautiful locations (especially the spy cabin, both exterior and interior).

My favorite moment in the game is a sad one, but I’m a mercurial kind of person, so you should have really expected that. It’s actually Moira’s log/diary/letter to Kate (it functions as all three) after Cathedral deactivates her as an agent. I love a lot about it — the sad, almost desperate feeling to the words, the pen color changing as the seasons do — but nothing is better done than Moira’s last entry:

“It’s winter. It doesn’t matter that it’s winter, does it?”

My favorite puzzle is probably the zip-lining one. Sure, it’s easy, and sure, the animation makes me a little motion-sick, but it’s just….zip lines are just cool. That’s all there is to it. It appeals to the spy-loving idiot in me, and I think big-woosh-go-fast is stupid cool.

I also have to give a hat-tip to Kate’s letter — turning a fandom meme into a heartwarming story? Nik, you mad genius — and Nancy’s letter to Kate at the end. Both are beautifully written and are the perfect centerpiece to their respective characters, and both always put a smile on my face (and, at times, a tear in my eye) when reading them.

The last thing I really do have to mention here is Logan’s quasi-reappearance. I mentioned this in my “Top 5 Surprising Moments” meta, but I love, love, love that Logan is a Cathedral operative, and that he reported on Nancy during SAW. Not only does this continue to open up Nancy’s world, but it also shows that there are consequences to Nancy’s actions. She’s in rare form as far as rudeness goes in SAW, and SPY weaponizes that against her, giving Cathedral (and Revenant) a way to weaponize her feelings about her mother’s death and her — to be frank — inability to let things lie as they are.

The Un-Favorite:

There are a few things that aren’t quite my favorite in SPY, so let’s run through those as well.

First, in the common refrain of “small visual distinctions are difficult for me personally”, I didn’t like that there wasn’t enough contrast between a plain (on the bottom half) cookie and the orange/purple jelly. The shadow on the screen makes it kind of difficult to tell them apart, especially if there’s sprinkles and/or frosting on top of it, and I found that mildly frustrating, even though I love the minigame itself.

The second thing I don’t like is the option to skip the dialogue. Yes, this is present in most of the newer games, and I don’t like it in them either, but it’s especially egregious in SPY and LIE. Both of these games really rely on hints given in the dialogue (and of course, in the written materials hidden around the game) in order to get a full, clear view of what’s going on. The option is great on repeat plays, but I really do wish that it was disabled if it was your first save file on the game.

The last annoying thing is the Jabberwocky puzzle — or rather, the percentage of the jabberwocky puzzle that the player actually has to do. The puzzle as it stands feels very confusing, and the “hints” you get are quite unintuitive.

The record tells you basically how to create the encrypted message — it’s the first letter from each green word, the second from each orange word, etc., arranged in the order they appear in the poem — but when you start the poem, Nancy has already basically completed this step, and it’s up to you to do the actual decoding just through process of elimination.

It’s a puzzle of letter deduction, like in TMB and the minigame in ASH — and these are normally my favorite puzzles! — but it’s cloaked in the disguise of an encryption puzzle, and for that, it’s incredibly irritating.

The Fix:

So how would I fix The Silent Spy?

The first thing I’d do, which you can probably guess based on the above section, is to fix how the Jabberwocky poem is presented. Even a bit of dialogue establishing what the player actually has to do versus what Nancy does for the player would be helpful in working through it without bothering making the encrypted message oneself, and would set the player up to actually know what they’re doing, versus the mass of confusion that comes with the puzzle.

The only other change I would make would to put in one more flashback — that of 10-year-old Nancy’s perspective shortly after Kate’s death, perhaps after the funeral. We spend a lot of time in flashback seeing Kate before her death, and I think it would add to just a little bit more of seeing Nancy’s relationship with her mother if we could see the Drew house with her recently gone.

(And perhaps, see or hear Hannah? Please?)

The Silent Spy is a game that I find, on the whole, to be one of the best that Nik penned, and certainly a fitting end to the series of “Nancy Games” that gives us a little more perspective on our teeth sleuth. There are as many moments of joy as of sorrow, but in the end the player is left with the feeling that Nancy’s world is a little better for knowing more about her mother, and that whatever else Kate did and was, she left behind a world (both in game and breaking the fourth wall) that was better — and had ways to become even better than that — than it was when she lived in it.

[geekgemsspooksandtoons]

Continued thoughts on RE8

This was copied when I was making my DeviantArt journal about this. And ah, thank goodness, I don’t need to space out shit. Guess DA using numbers like that helps me out lol.

Hope the title is creative enough. But...the game has been out a month. But I'll tag spoilers anyway. So I got done with the game at 12:04 or well, I put my PS4 into rest mode to charge my controller. I'm gonna say three things.

Donna's death honestly fucked me up...and not in a good way.

Moreau is likely the best boss in the game. Maybe.

Shut your fucking hole is honestly funny.

Okay but yes, I finally played more of Resident Evil 8. And surprisingly, and I wanted to save and be done with the game after I got into the confrontation with Heisenberg.

Let me be honest with you all. Resident Evil 8 is a fine game. While I am still critical about it's story and what choices they made. The gameplay is pretty fine, and I think it's an overall nice or alright experience. While I don't think this is the best RE game ever. And I do think this game got too much of high praising. It was overhyped honestly. But I do feel like it becomes I guess more enjoyable as you play it.

Now I'm gonna go over me going through the sections I talked about real quick. And no, I didn't beat Heisenberg...I haven't yet.

Donna and Angie's section is maybe the best part of the game. Gonna admit when you go to House Beneviento, it's actually beautiful seeing a waterfall beside it. And while I do think the Silent Hill comparisons are...I'm no expert. I've only watched movie format of the first four Silent Hill games. But that part is where the game is scariest at. Despite me being annoyed by the puzzle stuff in one part of this game. Luckily, I feel great I decided not to look anything up.

But I guess it's the closest we'll get to a modern Silent Hill game. But I overall loved this part of the game. Despite I was being stupid and didn't put half of a child puzzle piece into a door for a few minutes. I will admit, I do feel like the puzzles are easier than usual than older RE games...which is kind of fine with me.

Also that giant fetus baby thing is fucking creepy. Thank God I wasn't devoured by it...but amused I was spooked by maybe the projection falling and bookcases moving. Which I dubbed Scooby Doo shit.

And...I'm sorry, I was not expecting Donna's death to go like that...like wow...despite what my friend told me about...wow...just saying, I am not selling Alcina Dimitrescu's or Moreau's remains to the Duke. And I'm sure as Hell not selling Angie either. Besides, I get a lot of money in this game already. Seriously, I'm loaded.

It's just silly like...I didn't want to go to Donna's house first but I had to. Will admit, I do feel like she was underdeveloped. And that could go as well to maybe the other lords. And I did go back to Donna's place to get her treasure...where I fought this fucking giant with an axe...and I'm really interested in who the Hell is that Claudia Beneviento. Considering she died very young.

Moreau's section was pretty fine. But I think along with Alcina's section, was a pretty nice place. While Donna's section seemed a bit more simple, it was more focused on, creeping the shit out of me. Yet I was still terrified being in Castle Dimitrescu because it was my first time...and may still could be scared if I replay the game again after I finish it.

Will admit, I was annoyed I got killed by Moreau three times in the water. I think the reason I liked his part because his boss felt very classic Resident Evil. Maybe almost like Nemesis when he's fully unleashed in the original RE3. I feel like Moreau was pretty unique. Despite at first...kind of wonder if I do want him to look more a Gilman creature. Because he's likely inspired by that those kinds of films.

Also I will admit this, him popping up as a huge fish at first spooked me. Continuing on, I have been going to wells and using the crank to collect shit. Which got me to collect Alcina's golden statue of herself. Which yes...is very narcissistic of her haha! Along with the treasure from Donna...and I forgot to mention I've finished those first three...weird ball games...

Gonna admit, I strangely feel reminded of Sonic Spinball and those pinball sections in the Sonic series. I sound stupid saying that. They are interesting puzzles. I'm just glad and to me personally, Alcina's ones was the most tricky.

So after I beat Moreau, I got the Wolfbane, which was the pistol I was very interested in and it killed that weird beast(Is it like a dog turned Lycan dog or something?)...in one shot...this is maybe the strongest gun in the game. Holy shit, Barry Burton would be proud.

But yeah, I went through the Lycan's den. Turns out, Heisenberg wasn't there. Also the grenade launcher is great to use too. And seriously, the amount of Lycans heads I've blown up with mainly a normal pistol amazes me. Holy crap, I killed a shit ton of them, so many heads blown up.

After getting that last flask and finally opening a way to Heisenberg's factory, I finally get to meet the fella. To be honest, I'm not huge on Karl's voice. I've heard it before, and I know the voice actor got inspiration from Nicholas Cage...but I just imagine Karl's voice to be different. Maybe Cage when his voice is higher pitched, but I forget. Maybe if I get used to it, I'll be fine with it. Here's one of the more amusing lords and...really, the four lords and a lot of other stuff is why I like this game.

What I hate is of what later on happens and...the future of these main games.

I also wanna say that the part I saved on is when I have to escape the factory. But holy shit, how the fuck can the Duke get into these fucking places or whatever. At least the Merchant made sense and whatever else...I'm rambling on. I just find it amusing that this huge character can get into certain places that would maybe seem impossible or not.

But yeah...I'm very likely close to the end of the game. Played a couple of hours. Maybe 3 to 4 or so. While I am...critical of this chapter of the RE franchise. There are things I genuinely liked. I just strangely hate...that this is the final product and we're gonna have to live with it. This is the RE game people are making memes about...I shouldn't be very excited for the new movie reboot this year...but that's what I'm more excited for.

The 25th anniversary of Resident Evil has been going good. Despite my feelings on this new main game.

I remember now, I feel like when I finish this game and I be more detailed with my criticisms. I've heard from a good friend of mine that Under The Mayo has similar opinions to us of how we feel about Resident Evil 8...yet before I decided to listen to the usual 1 hour version of the RE8 save room theme. Which is this.

Resident Evil 8: Village Save Room 1 Hour Extended - YouTube

A day ago, he posted a video that has this thumbnail and the title of how God Of War ruined Resident Evil...I'm really wondering how the fuck is that possible. And my usual bitching is about the fact we hardly see our old characters anymore(Such as Jill who isn't such a big focus anymore), some characters are not better expanded upon or whatever else, and the future...I'm just not interested. Despite I've said to a friend I could be interested in seeing how it goes...

I just explained a little of what I had problems with. I'm just gonna say Capcom needs to be a bit more ambitious and meaningful with their storytelling now. Which may sound stupid...I just want better for this series. And when mentioning that upcoming movie. If we ever get a movie adaption of RE7 and 8, ESPECIALLY 8, I want that to be a loose adaptation and some shit changed.

[evildoe-r]

sunstroke (bif x derby)

word count: 3,434

rating: T

main characters: bif taylor, derby harrington

spoilers for video game: yes (Dishonorable Fight and Complete Mayhem)

...now he had thrust his apology back into his hands. Bif was one of the few he could not freely take sincerity from, that was his own mistake, and one he just made deliberately. Presently, he felt sickening remorse pooling inside of him, steadily drowning him.

warning; very long post

I

It was a year nearing its lively prime stretching across dusty, strange Bullworth. The evening crept and called the fading light that spread its warm hue across the rooftops and glistened on uncertain waters. Bif made his way through the subdued small town, to return to his dorm at the Academy after he and his friends spent the day at the gym having sparring matches, choosing to spend the penultimate day of school there instead of waste it at Miss Peters’ traditionally mind numbing school play that took place at the end of each academic year. They’d all had a much better time in their gym - all of them except for the absent Derby, who he rarely saw anymore, even around the Harrington House. Derby, who once would let him walk alongside him as his right hand man. He couldn’t tell if he was avoiding him or it was simply coincidence - a coincidence that occurred directly after he had lost a boxing match to none other than new kid Jimmy Hopkins, and disgraced the Preps’ standing within the school hierarchy. 

He hated losing, but he hated the confusion that had followed even more, the vague insights and cues into Derby's fluctuating relationship with him on the rare occasion he did see him around. It was stupid to dwell on this, he knew it. But no matter how much he pushed aside the thought that Derby somehow hated him, it would creep up on him in the school hallways, in the classes he hadn't ditched, before he slept, always circling back to him. 

He had lingered around in the gym longer than the others. Somehow, even after the usual high he got from defeating an opponent in a sparring match, today his movements as he showered and dressed back into his uniform had been slow and his thoughts were cloudy. On the morning after tomorrow's summer day of suspended classes, they would all return home, far away from Bullworth Academy. 

Although the day had been hot, the evening lent a cool breeze which had given him some relief. Even after a cold shower, Bif felt too warm. His hair was still damp and he slicked a hand through it as he walked along the path looking out onto the sea. He could sense the day's sickening heat slowly retreating, which he was grateful for. He would have welcomed the warmth any other time, but all week his head swam with thoughts that made him almost weary. As he made his way toward the bridge, a pack of Greasers raced past him on their bikes, turning toward New Coventry and paying him no mind. Looking straight ahead, he narrowed his eyes against the waning sunlight. He heard their voices before he spotted them. It was Justin and Chad several feet in front of him, their backs turned to him, speaking excitedly and louder than usual. Bif almost halted in his path as he suddenly recognised that unbearably familiar voice mingling with theirs. 

Derby. 

He forced himself to continue walking as normal. Lighthearted laughter erupted from them before he heard Derby’s courteous parting dismissal as the other two departed towards the direction of the Academy. 

Shit.

Derby was left there, standing uphill in front of the setting sun like a great shadow. He watched Bif carefully, and now, Bif had no choice but to meet him and his gaze, always razor sharp.

Derby was the first to speak. 

“Bif.”

“Hey,” Bif tried. 

As he approached Derby, he couldn’t help but notice how he observed him, studied him so closely. Bif knew that Derby had seen him before he realised he was there, just as he saw everything. You didn’t just escape Derby’s notice.

“Thought you’d be back at the House by now,” Derby said.

“Well, yeah, I just got held up,” Bif replied, making an attempt for his voice to remain neutral. But he was scared, excited, anxious. He hadn't realised how much he had anticipated this, whether it was to confront him or to reconcile with him. He only wanted for things to return to what was supposed to be normal. 

But now, Derby’s voice was calm, slightly softer than usual. It eased him a little. Maybe he didn't hate him after all.

II

Derby watched his taller friend’s nervous hand run through his hair. The reddish brown strands were the color of fire in the last reach of the small town sunlight. 

“What’s the matter?” he asked. Bif’s green eyes widened a little in surprise at the question. 

“Uh, It’s nothing, Derby,” he finally said.

"You seem a bit on edge," Derby observed.

"Oh, boxing and all that. Parker gave me a hard time. But I won anyway, you know." 

Derby offered an acknowledging nod before changing the subject. “Well, I don’t plan on going back to the school grounds for another while.” He gazed out towards the sea, and then turned expectantly onto Bif, awaiting a response. 

"I guess I didn't either," his friend admitted. “I’ve had enough of that place right now.”

“Walk with me, then?” Derby straightened the clean white collar of his shirt. 

“Sure.”

It was quiet. The evening had completely settled upon the town, the sky a gradient of bright pink and a moody blue. Familiar lighthouse beams shone against the darkening horizon. The sound of the sea relaxed him, always inviting him to reminisce about his hazy days as a very young child, on holidays with his family to otherworldly time zones, where he would run on mystical white beaches while his father’s voice commanded him to behave, and so he did. But now, the sky was a soft bluish purple, and the quiet beach was dark and lulling and his friend was right beside him.

As they walked in silence together, Derby watched Bif, noting his furrowed brow, his mind seemingly unsettled. “Shall we walk down the pier?” he suggested, making his way down the wooden surface perpendicular to their path. Bif was at his elbow and slowly followed him down, his familiar movements sure and steady as his body, yet his face was always an open book. As the sun’s last rays leapt above the buildings, Derby knew he must be anticipating something, but he did not speak. 

III

Derby began to hum a slow, sonorous tune that he could not recognise. This was almost like old times. Derby by his side as they walked through Old Bullworth Vale, then down to the beach, spending the early summer days during free periods there, as he convinced Derby to go diving into the cool waters with him and swim to the lighthouses and back. 

They were alone here, besides a weary eyed middle aged man who could have been thirty five or fifty, in a slightly tatty grey suit who was leaning casually against the ledge looking down into the dark waters below them.

“Man, don’t do it!” Derby called with a grin. The stranger turned to them, and spat, before turning and walking away as he lit a cigarette. 

“I’ve seen that guy before,” Bif insisted. “Comes around here a lot, tries to go where it's quiet."

“Then it’s his unlucky day,” Derby smiled, as they watched the man depart. Despite himself, Bif laughed with him, his previous anxieties lapsing.

“Hey, can you believe Miss Peters had that dumb school play even with everything that happened?” Bif had suddenly felt lighter, and was in the mood for banter.

“Everyone made quite the mess of the school, that’s true,” Derby agreed, “But the auditorium seemed virtually untouched. I didn’t even see any renovations taking place there. I guess nobody bothered with it.

“You know, when father heard what happened he wasn't happy at all. He searched for a prestigious school worthy enough for his investment and then all hell breaks loose." He shook his head in disapproval.

“He’s considering transferring me somewhere else for my last academic year,” Derby confided. 

“Yeah?” Bif was oddly disheartened. “I thought your dad was busy with y'know, stuff.” Derby would occasionally mention his dad and how his business was fairing, but truthfully, Bif never had the patience nor the interest to hear it all out. 

“He is. He really doesn’t have time for all this,” he agreed. "But my God, what a state the school was in afterwards..." 

“Yeah, the place really turned into a total dumpster fire after Hopkins beat your-”

A look of irritation flickered over Derby’s face and Bif stopped short. “Uh, yeah, you know,” he said awkwardly, feigning an itch on his neck. He tried to think of something witty, but his head felt confused and muddled again. With nothing more to say, their conversation dissolved into silence, and they watched the waves in the distance for a while. The islands ahead were sharp shadows, only their dark outlines visible in the late evening light. 

It was certainly like old times, he thought. Nonetheless, something felt misplaced, wrong, and he was unable to focus. 

“Can we talk about it, Derby?” He was venturing blind into a conflict, he could feel it, but he had to try. “I don’t think I gotta explain what I mean.” He braced himself for surprise or even offense from his friend, but his face remained impassive. 

“I’m actually not sure what you mean.”

It was Bif’s turn to look annoyed. Reigning in his sudden anger, he found himself raising his voice more than intended. “You ignored me for ages, and now you’re acting as if everything’s normal.” 

Derby’s neutrality stubbornly asserted itself as he spoke. “There is nothing out of the ordinary here, Bif.”

“Were you mad after I lost to Jimmy?” Bif demanded.

“We have nothing to talk about regarding this matter, I mean it.”

“But you were avoiding me! You avoided me for weeks, Derby!” he said desperately.

“I don’t want to discuss this now-”

“Well I do!”

“Of course I was angry, Bif,” came the reply, and his mask of nonchalance had disappeared.

“I don’t need to explain why, you know that quite well. Can we drop it now?” the corners of his mouth quivered slightly and his voice rose and fell a little as if he couldn’t decide whether to be angry or not.

Bif gave an exasperated sigh as he dragged his hands down his face. Didn’t he realise the guilt he felt after he lost? He disgraced himself, and worse, Derby Harrington. He was one of his closest friends, yet he was unreachable all the same. You lost to him too, Derby, don't you remember?! 

Derby glared at him, jaw clenched. Those sharp eyes, and now he’s finally cutting. “You want me to say I lost too, is that it, Bif?”

There it is, and just how had he figured? It seemed like he could always see what was swimming past the surface, and sometimes, with Derby, he didn’t know himself. Always so precise, never anything less. He spoke of loss, and now he'd taken every word from him. 

IV

Derby recalled that day at the gym too well. Bif lying there, barely conscious, as Hopkins taunted them. It was undeniably embarrassing, and Bif would never know the sensation of anger and betrayal that had struck him afterwards. Not just Bif, but his supposed friends too, humiliated by an apparent nobody, suddenly crowned King. Bif seemed taken aback by his question, and he was unsure if he meant it rhetorically or not. He decided to allow him to feel shaken a moment, before he carried on. He needed to make him understand. 

“Have you ever thought about how the situation affected me, Bif? Just once?” 

Bif was angry, that much was too obvious, but his poise was diminished, almost giving way. He was more than angry, he was upset.

“That’s all I’ve been thinking about since that day, Derby,” he said, quietly this time. Suddenly, he turned away. Derby could hear the waves again for a brief moment, slow and rhythmic, distinctly timed. Bif seemed to focus on an object in the distance before he exhaled loudly and whirled to face Derby again.

"Why does any of this matter anyway? It was just a stupid boxing match!" 

"You think this is about boxing? Oh, you're so naive, Bif. " Derby was indignant. 

"Then what is it about?" Bif pressed him. “You just love patronizing me, I know you do.”

“Patronizing? Did you just learn that word from English class yesterday?” 

"Seriously? Whatever, you're too important to tell me anyways. Keep it to yourself, I don’t care."

He had avoided Bif in his shame, he knew that much. He would not ask questions about his whereabouts to other Preps, but he had picked up on his altered emotional state whenever he saw him, which he would insist to himself was a lesson of sorts, a justified consequence of his own failure. His friends had left him disgusted then, most of all Bif, who seemed to guard his champion title so fiercely beforehand. Bif, who he slowly and so carefully placed his shaky trust into.

“So you’re not even gotta admit you pretended I didn’t exist, right?” Bif looked like he found it impossible to stay still. His fists were clenched, and he seemed almost breathless.

“I would never admit something that wasn’t true.” But it is true, he knows.

“Fuck you, Derby.”

Derby almost flinched. His friend’s venom had left him witless, and he wanted to reply with equal scorn, but the rebuttal would not come.

“And guess what, maybe I didn’t wanna see your face either, Derby.”

“Good. I was getting pretty sick of you, you know.”

He rued his words as soon as they left him, and he averted his gaze. Bif was hurt by this, he knew, and this time, there was no reply, no hostility. A bitter quiet fell on them.

“I didn’t mean that truly, Bif. You know that.”

I’m sorry.

“Yeah.”

"Look, I'm sorry."

Bif voiced his apology like a tired surrender. Derby had never seen him like this. Not even on that day at the gym. There was a terrible vulnerability about the person who stood in front of him.

"Don't say sorry to me,  Bif." 

"I just felt like I owed you-"

"Don’t." he told him. “Don’t apologise.”

“Then what the hell, Derby?” His annoyance was tinged with relief, appearing  somewhat yielding, which Derby was grateful for, as an unexpected tiredness grabbed him. For once, he felt out of control of the unraveling before him. He was being hurled off the tracks and he was finding it hard to steer them both into his direction. He had wanted to see Bif today, take in the reassuring presence he gave him, which became so familiar to him over these past few years. They’d argued, and now he had thrust his apology back into his hands. Bif was one of the few he could not freely take sincerity from, that was his own mistake, and one he just made deliberately. Presently, he felt sickening remorse pooling inside of him, steadily drowning him. 

V

He'd fought with Derby before, but it was usually over something stupid. 

"My dad is more important than your dad!" He'd jokingly taunted one night in a slightly drunken daze, and Bif, also in a liquor induced stupor had gotten angrier than he'd wanted to be. 

Derby had turned away from him and Bif said nothing for some time. It was a similar feeling to the tiresome end of a gruelling fistfight, but he was unsure whether he had won or lost this time. Bif felt lighter now, but consequently emptier too. 

"Bif," Derby began slowly,  "I did wrong you. It was a mistake on my part." 

His admission was unexpected, for sure, and he found himself stricken. He would have felt less surprised if Derby had suddenly burst into awful, messy tears. 

"God, Derby, you weird me out. I’ve known you for years, but you still confuse me." 

He felt uneasy now, and he wished this would end. Derby turned, and Bif expected another disagreement to ensue, but there was none.

"Look, It's fine, Derby. I mean, I guess it’s not fine, but we don't have to bring it up anymore." I'm exhausted. "Let's just forget this, for now." 

Derby looked tired too, for once.

“Okay, Bif.”

He's as shaken as I am, he realised.

“Let’s start to head back. It’s late. If you have any more gripes about me, you can tell me directly on the way.”

At least he could retain his sense of humor.

But it really was late, Bif realised. The stars were coming out, and the town’s usual toll had trailed off into silence, save for the occasional car rumbling through the street. They made their way wordlessly across the pier, turning toward the Academy. He almost hated Derby that night, yet he still he wanted him by his side, and despite his fatigue, he wouldn’t have minded staying there a while longer with him. 

There was a peaceful air following them as they traveled to the place they’d had to call home for the school year. A yellow crescent moon was suspended in the cloudless dark sky. The night was warm, and still young. They would arrive well before midnight anyways, and when they reached the Academy, they knew it was past curfew, but Derby had made sure early on in the year that they would go unnoticed by the displeased prefects who wandered the school grounds with torches at night, looking for troublemakers. After all, they loved money, same as everyone else. And besides, it seemed pointless to enforce a curfew on the second last day of school. When they entered the house, the lights were dimmed and it was mostly quiet, except for the muffled sound of footsteps on one of the top floors. They started to make their way upstairs and through a carpeted hallway decorated with paintings and houseplants. Bif stopped suddenly.

“Wait, Derby, are you really leaving Bullworth?” 

He eyed Bif for a moment before answering. “I certainly hope not. How am I going to find so many lackeys who are willing to fight for me in a new school in so little time?” he said, looking at Bif, a laugh breaking out of his neutral expression, and Bif let out a chortle. 

“Man, hadn’t thought of that,”

They stood there in the faint lamplight, so mellow it made him slightly dizzy.

“I gotta go to bed, have an important day of doing nothing tomorrow,” Bif said. As Derby laughed, he looked younger, and for a brief second he was the person who would sneak out of dinner parties with him as a lark and explore the old, stately home they’d both been confined in for the evening, finding dubious locked doors and dusty basements.

“Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow then, Bif,” he said, laying a hand on his arm, suddenly pausing. He could feel his warmth through his cotton shirt. He realised how much he had sweated that evening in the summer heat, but either Derby didn’t care or didn’t pay any attention. A sensation in his chest exulted, unsettled him. There was the flicker of longing he’d experienced through the years, now plain and clear as day, and not so uncertain as it used to be. Derby seemed to linger there for a second, lifting his ambiguous gaze to his own eyes, keeping it there, making him restless, but in that moment, Derby began to back off into his room. And when he tore his hand away, Bif almost objected, calling his name and telling him to wait. Derby just stood there in anticipation, and when Bif asked if he was okay, he replied in that affected tone that Bif had always hated, asking why he shouldn’t be. Bif just shrugged his shoulders, and Derby then hastily bid him goodbye, retreating into his room. The door clicked shut, leaving him there.

When he finally went to bed, his frustration had begun to stir among his fatigue and he wondered if he was wrong to think he might fall asleep that night. At one point, the heat in his room was stifling, and he leapt up from his bed and threw open the windows. When he was finally able to close his eyes, he thought of Derby, the sea and its lighthouses, his wanting and his hurt, and the mess he’d thrown himself into. One more day and they’d be apart, and now he wished that he’d caught Derby’s arm before he’d made himself scarce that night.

______________________________________________________________

Notes

Hey, If you read the full thing, I greatly appreciate it! This was quite difficult to write at times because the characters of Bif and Derby were not given so much nuance in the game itself, so it was quite challenging to write a story that delves into their psyche and way of thinking. I wrote this with the intention of exploring their individual characters and feelings toward each other a bit further, especially after the events of the Dishonorable Fight and Complete Mayhem missions. The interactions and the implications of their relationship dynamic are quite interesting to me. Please feel free to tell me what you thought, and once again, thank you for reading!

-A

[plush-anon]

Happy Halloween Scooby Doo! Review

Muahahhhahahhahahaha! Thanks to the Walmart tradition of stocking movies for sale weeks before the intended release date, I have myself a copy of what claims to be Scooby Doo’s FIRST Halloween adventure!

…in spite of movies like Witch’s Ghost and Goblin King, holiday specials like WNSD’s A Scooby Doo Halloween (which had a haunted Scarecrow too…), BCSD’s EL Bandito (for Dia de los Muertos - obvs not the same, but most companies act like it) and Halloween, The NSDM’s Halloween Hassle at Dracula’s Castle, and the DTV short film Scooby Doo and the Spooky Scarecrow (which, ironically enough, did NOT take the opportunity to feature Dr. Jonathan Crane). 

So let us take a look now at Happy Halloween Scooby Doo! and see whether this film will be a graveyard smash of a treat, or a black licorice bomb of disappointment.

Full review (and SPOILERS TO GO WITH IT) are below the cut in my new review format; if all goes smoothly, I’ll go with this for future Scooby films.

WARNING: This review is very long.

One minor note before we begin: the Special Features actually include BCSD’s Halloween, WNSD’s A Scooby Doo Halloween, and PNSD’s Ghost Who’s Coming to Dinner

...so they were AWARE this was not the first Halloween adventure of the Scooby gang, and yet still use that tag line. Hm. 

Still, kudos for including them - this’ll help boost the reasons to keep this movie, if it turns out to be a real Milk Dud of a movie *ba-dum tish* :D

-----------

The movie starts off rather abruptly, actually - no slow pan over the setting, just WB Animation credit and BOOM, we’ve cut to a Halloween parade and Elvira is talking. 

I’m of a mixed opinion including Elvira on top of having Bill Nye and a Batman Rogue - while she most certainly fits the Scooby aesthetic, it doesn’t feel as grand an impact after her weird little cameo in Return to Zombie Island (ugh) and I’m not sure how well the movie will balance her in wait a minute

wait just a

WAIT A MINUTE

Did - did that parade float skeleton just sing Crystal Cove as the town’s name?

oh no. 

Oh No.

....also their song is terrible and they should feel terrible.

-------

Fred: We got him! Banh Mi Shop, second floor!

me: the heck is a Banh Mi Shop? *mild googling noises*

So I guess Jonathan Crane really had a craving for a Vietnamese sandwich before he enacted his Halloween scheme.

...you think he’s a lemongrass chicken type of guy or a BBQ pork guy? It’s always hard to guess at these things, esp when coffee and pumpkin spice aren’t on the table (as per fanon, of course)

-----

Velma: We have a flawless track record!

So I guess WB is just gonna ignore the past few DTV retcons established in 13 Ghosts and Return to Zombie Island?

I mean that rather defeats the purpose of them existing at all, but fcuk YEAH I can get behind throwing that retcon garbage out of canon!

And STAY OUT!!

------

Shaggy, talking about ghosts being real: I’m like the boy who cried wolf - I keep warning you but like, you won’t believe me until I finally get eaten!

Yet again, Warner Bros makes a wolf reference to Shaggy. Yet again, I am torn asunder between wanting werewolf!Shaggy in a new Scooby property, and fearing for the appearance of werewolf!Shaggy in a new Scooby property. 

-------

Velma: Point is, being afraid is a waste of time!

Scarecrow, LITERALLY EXPLODING THROUGH A BRICK WALL three buildings away:

------

He’s floating through the air and t-posing to assert his dominance 🤣🤣🤣

Gods bless animation 😁

------

Daphne @ Shag and Scoob locking themselves in the van: Are you serial?

Me: wait, SERIAL? *re-reads captions* yup, that says “serial”.  

Is this an editing mistake? I don’t think that works here…unless that’s supposed to be a joke on how they always do this. But then why would that be an irritating surprise, they literally do this EVERY episode 🙄

-------

Oh hey, Red Herring’s Party Screams truck has Red Herring running out of it

Could this be a hint to how the story goes? The villain appearing on a literal Red Herring?

Naaaaaah, WB’s not THAT smart

-------

So if we take @captainbaddecisions​​ crack theory on Jonathan Crane being Shaggy’s uncle seriously, does this mean that Jonathan is using magic to fly, float fear toxin orbs around himself, and making things explode, a la the family trait of Crack Theory A? 

Logically he’s probs using wires or magnets or some shit, but it’s a fun thought to entertain 😁

------

Welp, we finally get the opening credits! … with Jonathan Crane smashing through the Mystery Machine’s windshield, set to a slow poppy song straight from the 60s, and spewing the title of the film out in glittery pink mist.

All the while Scooby and Shaggy throw candy at each other, deliberately obtuse to the cloud of fear toxin enveloping their friends and the townsfolk, the steady destruction of the Mystery Machine they’re laying in as multiple cars crash into it and send it spiraling, and the general mayhem and destruction that Scarecrow is causing

Never change, guys, never change

--------

I just choked on my lemonade

There’s an article plastered to the roof of the Mystery Machine titled “Talking Dog Confounds, Ignites Ethics Debate Over Dog Labor”

ahahahahaha

-------

Annnnnnnnd there goes the Mystery Machine, tumbling in the air and over the roads with Shaggy and Scooby still inside without seat belts. Will they perish in this horrible road accident? Will Death finally come to claim them at last?

Of course not. This is Shaggy and Scooby we’re talking about - I’m almost positive they can survive anything up to and including a nuclear bomb. This is child’s play to them.

-------

So they “capture” Scarecrow… by pinning his cape to a tree with crossbow bolts. 

And they do not try to at least tie up his arms or his hands in ANY capacity. 

JUST the cape. 

...you know, Velma, for a team with a “flawless” track record, you guys are making a hecking TON of mistakes in facing against one of Batman’s ROGUES GALLERY, ESPECIALLY with no Batman in sight, good freakin’ grief. 😩

------

Yaaaaaaaaas, this Scarecrow design is LUSH

He’s got the lank, the height, the BTAS costume colors, the elongated face with beaky nose and pointed chin and angular cheekbones, the eyebags like Gucci, the furrowed brow… honestly the only thing missing is the more reddish color hair, and even that isn’t mandatory. I love 😍

Not to mention the HOT DAYUM voice he has - low and velvet rough and so godsdamned particular in a way that could either tie in to obscuring a southern accent as in fanon or just as a stringent academic, oh my yes. He’s voiced by someone called Dwight Schultz, who’s most well known for playing Captain ‘Howling Mad’ Murdock in the OG A-Team show, and someone called Reginald Barclay in Star Trek TNG and Voyager, if any of y’all know that character in particular. 

And of course, the first line he says is a delightfully wry “Oh, but I AM getting away with it,” with the sort of smirk that absolutely lends credence to why he’s a threat to Batman, and not some simpering wimp that can be defeated with some crossbow bolts in a tree.

I think I’m going to enjoy this movie at least somewhat, so long as we get to see him 🥰🥰🥰

(tho on a side note: Daphne why on EARTH are you trying to film Crane saying the meddling kids line? Do you have a video compilation of past villains who’ve done that, and you hope to add his to it? Was your phone damaged when you went up against the Riddler a few DTVs ago and you want a second shot at recording a Gotham Rogue saying it? Bc I don’t think a Gotham Rogue would be too pleased with seeing himself as a Mystery Meme on the Youtubes, you get what I’m saying?)

-------

Okay, so the floating orb things are explained away as fear toxin bomb drones somehow… despite looking nothing like the other drones and being much smaller with no visible propulsion, while also flying unassisted through and around objects to explode against places once flung…

(tho interesting note, none of them are aimed directly at the crowds, just behind them - odd, that)

But how did he heckin’ FLY at the beginning?

Yeah, they show him wearing wrist-mounted grappling hooks at the end of the intro song sequence, but they are NOWHERE IN SIGHT at the beginning - and I do mean in sight, since he emerges against a backdrop of flames. There was nothing there (see the T-pose above for further evidence), and nothing there when he FLEW THROUGH THE MYSTERY MACHINE’S WINDSHIELD AND FLEW BACK OUT AGAIN. And these things are pale silver, which stands out like crazy against the darker backgrounds, so no hand-wavy ‘they were always being used’ bullcrap we’ve seen in other movies. 

Hmmm *scribbles in notepad* note to self, add notation concerning Crack Theory A on magic!Shaggy to “Uncle Crane” theory files - evidence denotes that Crane is able to fly (or at least hover in mid-air unassisted) for terrorization purposes. May boost strength of CTA by family association, lending credence to magic inheritance along the bloodline...

------

“Avocado Toast Generation”? Crane, I honestly don’t know if you really mean that, or if you understand just how much that phrase gets under any Millennial/Gen Z kid’s skin. Having seen multiple variations of your character, it really could swing either way (tho kudos on the dead switch idea - very nice 👍🏻) 

Although this does lead to an interesting stand-off: Fred, upon seeing the town threatened with 3 days worth of fear toxin, immediately moves to let Crane go, while Velma stops him and refuses to consider compromising if it means Crane escapes.  They both look legitimately frustrated at the other for taking the stance they do. 

Fascinating~

------

Hmmm

Crane honey, I don’t know if your drones are made of flash paper and hope, or if Scooby and Shaggy are using the reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaally old candy (the stuff made about ~3 years ago most neighborhoods give out to the teenagers that knock around midnight on Halloween) to shoot them down, but either way you may wish to speak with the manufacturer about this

Then again, this IS Shaggy and Scooby - they probably could’ve spat marshmallows at the drones and brought them down with equal success and explosions 

(and good on them for shooting those down! Atta boy 👍🏻)

-------

Aw dang it

1. They still have Crane captured and now in handcuffs (despite having… you know… NOT been bound by anything except cross bolts in his curtain cape thing)

2. Dwight Schultz has decided to pitch his voice higher and more nasally than what he has. Hopefully this is more of an incredulous sort of pitch than something that sticks for the rest of the movie, ugh.

Also, I think they’re framing the movie to be more Velma-centric this time around - she’s the one explaining to Crane how they tracked him down, apparently through a piece of fan mail he sent Elvira (is that the only reason she’s there? Also why was Velma examining random pieces of fan mail for toxins, Elvira probs gets hundreds a week irl) and it looks like they’re framing something up on how fear isn’t something you can pretend isn’t there. neat!

------

whajit

53rd? 

53rd?!?!

ONLY 53rd?!?!?!?!

Boooo, Scarecrow’s WAY more popular than that! I call foul

---

Okay why is Daphne’s schtick so far to spit laaaaaaame slang after every sentence Velma says

I would rather this not be her schtick

Actually could she go back to filming mystery stuff, bc at least I can pretend it’ll build into the OG Zombie Island Daphne

----

Phew, his voice has returned to its low, raspy goodness

also, Crane needs to learn about personal space, good grief

(interesting clue brought up tho - Crane only steals tech that CAN’T leak his toxin, ergo it can’t be tracked until he releases it. Sensible use, given that Batman probs tracks it if it does.)

----

Velma: I’m not afraid of you, Crane. Fear is an illogical reaction to an imagined threat. 

Crane:

-----

Crane: Fearless, then. Intelligent. Proud and stubborn. You remind me very much of the one person in this world I care about. 

uhhhhhh

Yourself? Harley? Edward Nygma? Ichabod the raven? Idk, I’m honestly curious as to where this thread will go 🤔🤔🤔

-----

Fred, leaning against the Mystery Machine: Guys, it’s gonna be okay. She told me!

O_o

Fred? Honey? Are you sure you weren’t supposed to join Crane in the transport vehicle back to Arkham? 

----

OH SWEET JESUS SHAGGY GREW YAOI HANDS

WHAT THE HECK 

THAT’S WAY MORE UNNERVING THEN YOU GUYS NOT BEING AFRAID ANYMORE

(although the fact that they’re both unsettled by NOT constantly shaking or having their heart racing is honestly kind of heartbreaking. Y’all need therapy, good grief)

----

Shaggy and Scooby just chewed up candy (wrapper and all) to make themselves a Halloween costume of… what looks like barfed-up candy (ew)

Before then proceeding to dance so well that everyone around them also starts dancing in a 60s-70s era rainbow light show and giving them candy

I worry for these two sometimes - that kind of power seems to be getting to their head 😬😬😬

---

Oh hey, acid green toxic waste is spilling from an 18-wheeler onto the Fear Toxin drones and emitting a purple pink haze that envelops a pumpkin patch! That won’t do anything suspicious at all I bet!

(wait is Poison Ivy going to come into this at some point)

(also major kudos to the music here - very 80s horror synth, I like)

----

So the Pumpkins have grown faces, limbs, consciousness, the ability to fly and a lust for human flesh

And they appear to be led by the Pumpkin King of the Pumpkin Patch mentioned in the Charlie Brown Halloween special

He’s not as friendly as I pictured him being, sadly 😕

---

Why is this random ass cop coming up to FD&V to say that they’re in over their heads… AFTER the mystery’s been solved?

Like dude, you’re only making yourself suspicious at this point, go home

----

Huh, interesting - the gang are being interviewed for a tv news network while they’re considered the town heroes

Why am I getting bad vibes from this…

Eh, it’s probably nothing

----

Velma: {Shaggy and Scooby} are, um… REALLY into the Halloween spirit. 

Shaggy: THIS ISN’T COSPLAY, VELMA!

I’m dying 😂

------

Holy Shit

Velma just snapped and went off on Shaggy and Scooby for acting scared and doing nothing to help wrap up the mystery

(even though these guys are the ONLY reason that the gang didn’t have to choose between setting Scarecrow free and poisoning the entire town for 3 days straight, but hey, what do I know - I’m just writing an in-depth reaction post to this movie and taking note of details like this, clearly I know nothing *eye roll*)

Last time I saw Velma critique the guys’ usual mystery solving shenanigans, it was much more low-key and without knowing they were nearby

But I’m sure that’s just a coincidence

------

What the

Bills?

Bills?!?!

Fred just mentioned that fixing the Mystery Machine was going to leave a hefty bill and that they may need to get dishwashing jobs to earn money

Which is more of a job you might expect a high schooler to get on the go and yet

They actually have to pay bills 

How old are they here??!

------

wait a tic

THIS is how they introduce Bill Nye?

He just calls up Velma with no explanation other than Velma saying “Oh hey, it’s Bill Nye!”

I just - what?!?!

How do you know him so well that he can just pull up your number and call you, and then geT YOU A NEW FREAKING CAR LIKE

WHAT?!?!?!?

Was there a Scooby episode with him in the past two years where the fcuk did this come from

------

Also the car is dressed like Bill Nye

And he can talk to the gang directly as the car

So that he can solve mysteries with them whenever he wants

This… this was not what I was expecting to come about from the Bill Nye cameo 

(alas, poor predictions of being Crane’s roommate, you will not come to pass this day) 😔

-------

Ooooo, purple haze throbbing on the horizon! That’s always a good sign of things to come! 😀

------

 And now Daphne’s… asking Elvira to mentor her fashion wise. And Elvira’s taking her on as her unpaid intern/personal assistant.

Yooo, movie, can you pick a direction and stick with it for Daphne? You’ve gone from her spewing outdated slang to wanting a costume for trick-or-treating, and now this. 

-------

Welp, now I can say I saw a giant pumpkin dog vore an old woman

I didn’t WANT to see that mind, but I guess I can say it now 😐

------

OH SHIT NO

IT TURNED HER INTO A FLYING PUMPKIN SHAPED LIKE HER FACE

ABSOLUTELY UNSETTLING, 0/10 WOULD NOT RECOMMEND

-------

At least we get a nice scene of Daphne kicking the pumpkins’ collective butt

Something normal

------

Elvira: WOW! You’re a regular Mary Sue!

*falls over cackling*

------

And now there’s a giant purple fissure opening up in the concrete to swallow the town of Crystal Cove whole 

(good, i whisper softly into the darkness of my living room. Let it fall)

--------

Man, I feel so bad for this single father right now

He’s gotten wrapped up in all of this nonsense with his daughter, and he is just Distraught at being chased by Jackal Lanterns, having the town collapsing under his feet, and having to gorge jump in his sedan to get away from the worst of it

It’s okay, Mike Dad - we would feel the same way in your shoes

-------

Hologram Bill Nye is wearing Cat ears and cat whiskers/nose, and is cleaning his hands like a cat cleans its paws

Why was this the movie we found out Bill Nye was a furry

Why Warner Bros 

Why would you inflict this upon us in a Scooby Doo-Scarecrow mystery

-------

Hey, can Jonathan Crane return now? The movie needs its dignity back. 

------

A clue on the whys here - the town was built on top of a MASSIVE lithium deposit, with the talks to mine it being scrapped due to environmental concerns. That’s actually a decent lead in for why some 

-------

Welp

The Jackal Lanterns just went full Mad Max with the Halloween Parade floats and cars

No, I don’t have any idea why either, just roll with it

-------

Nice, they confirmed that Fred’s full name is still Frederick Herman Jones XD

Also a great little action sequence with Daphne - while there’s not much movement, they frame the scene dynamically, with some good quick wordplay. Very nice. 

--------

Velma has a mind palace

Aight

--------

Velma: Shaggy, I could kiss you!

Oh, to hear this as a child, when I still hardcore shipped Shelma *sigh*

------

Oh thank gods we’re going back to Scarecrow again

------

Shaggy ate some Scooby Snacks, leapt out of a moving vehicle, and onto the backs of two flying pumpkins that he promptly reined in to fly to Crane’s prison transport

...yet again, I am amazed at the sentences I am led to type for Scooby Doo DTVs

------

Ah, how very Hannibal Lector of you, Jon 

Man, he actually looks very meek in normal clothes - red long-sleeved shirt and grey slacks

-----

Hmmm

So Crane ISN’T behind the Jackal Lanterns - in fact he’s outright befuddled by them. This means his whole spiel to Velma earlier about both of them being caught in the same trap was… metaphorical? The breakdown doesn’t actually go into WHY he thinks they’re in the same trap - Crane’s whole schtick is tied to accepting fear, not denying it, so why would they be the same?

Either way, someone is using both him and Mystery Inc to do something to Crystal Cove (please be Red Herring, please be Red Herring, please be Red Herring)

Actually, that reference at the beginning really WAS a red herring - they framed it as being Jon the whole time when it wasn’t. Kudos!

Additional kudos to having Jon be seen more out of mask than in - he is a looker, and I aim to look as much as I can ;)

-------

Annnnd Daphne’s now trying to convince Elvira to switch clothes with her

I don’t get it - how on earth did we get from Daphne trying to find a good costume for trick-or-treating to asking Elvira to switch oh there it is nevermind.

-----

There is literally a scene where a giant buzzsaw is slicing towards Crane

and he just

stares at it

going “huh, that’s different”

And I LOVE IT

------

And here we have another fascinating scene: Velma going to free Crane from his cell, as Daphne tells her to just leave him to die by pumpkin

I’m wondering if they meant to draw a parallel between the two here - Velma starts by reciting a nursery rhyme, then overcoming her fears in order to release madness to take control. It’s not done very cleanly - mainly bc we barely have any time with Crane in this movie - but I wonder if they meant to insinuate that Crane was like Velma once, where he refused to acknowledge he was afraid, which caused him to lose focus on his initial goals

Idk, ignore my ramblings

---

Crane, smirking: I’ll need my personal effects - extenuating circumstances.

Me, fanning myself: I’ll need you to remove yours first

(i am not even kidding, Crane is an absolute DILF in this movie and it flusters me. Stupid sexy animation)

---

YAAAAAAAAAAASSSSS

SCARECROW TO THE MOTHERFCUKING RESCUE BABY, SCYTHE AND FCUKING ALL!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

----

FCUK YEAH THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING

HE HAS A DANCE LIKE QUALITY WITH SOME OF HIS FIGHTING MOVES

VIOLENT DANCING BRINGS THE GIANT JACKAL LANTERN DOWN BABY

THEN HE BACKFLIPS AND GYMNASTIC SWINGS INTO THE VAN

ROCK IT SCARECROW FCUKING ROCK IT

(minor note here, but the subtitles show Dr. Crane instead of Scarecrow - unsure if that’s more that the movie calls him Dr Crane or if it indicates he’s acting more heroic than villainous)

---

GODDAMNIT

THE GIANT PUMPKIN SNUCK VINES INTO THE VAN AND STOLE HIM BACK 

WHEN CRANE WAS... wearing a seatbelt before, but isn’t now.

...

BOOOOO

---

Yet again, we find a Scooby movie that attempts character development, but with Velma

Unlike Shaggy’s Showdown however, I’m mixed on how successful it is.

For starters, Velma hasn’t been this cocksure in other DTVs we’ve seen, so it’s a bit odd to see it now. While not 100% out of place - after all, the gang DID capture one of Batman’s Rogues Gallery on their own - it still feels a touch forced. Compare that to Shaggy’s Showdown, where Shaggy has ALWAYS been a coward (one that, in more recent years, writers have had willing to abandon his friends for safety), so the character development there feels more natural. 

The progression of events with Velma actually work somewhat okay - but again, here’s where past DTVs come to bite them in the ass. The past handful have had the gang be wrong, have had them fail, or catch the wrong guy. This makes Velma’s attitude here at odds with the other films, something that sticks more due to a character that’s appeared in the past few films as a minor inconvenience - a Sheriff who keeps telling the gang not to interfere, they’re doing things wrong, etc. If this had been a character who was completely wrong in the past AND SHOWN TO BE WRONG FOR HIS OPINIONS, while the gang never guessed wrong, this would work much better. Unfortunately, it doesn’t, and here we are. 

I think it would have flowed better if Velma’s cockiness came solely from catching Crane on their own. Have a random cop character or reporter or whatever (just not the recurring cop), insinuate that the gang is in too deep with Scarecrow, that he should be handled by the adults or professionals or whatever. Velma could bristle, overcompensate, and THEN fall from her pedestal like we see, reach out to the gang and commiserate over feeling scared, and grow. Again, it’s not too far to reach for, but they handle it poorly; as a result, the outcome feels a little more shoehorned in. 

It’s an honest shame, bc we haven’t had a Velma centered story since Frankencreepy, and we all remember what a hideous fcuking mess THAT was *shudders*. Still, it somewhat gets its point across, I guess.

---

Fred why did you rip your shirt off

Actually better question why do you not have nipples

--- 

Awwwwwww

Velma just apologized to Shag and Scoob for snapping at them earlier, and admits how she doesn’t appreciate how much they make Mystery Inc what it is

Also she eats a Scooby Snack with them and admits they taste pretty good

----

Huh

Velma’s mind palace is the Mystery Machine driving through space

Also Shaggy and Scooby are able to telepathically follow her in and communicate with her

Literally, they actually followed her into her head telepathically, and show her their memories of things she hasn’t gotten to see tonight (while also possibly enhancing her ability to remember things, given how much DETAIL she captures perfectly of things that she would maybe have glimpsed in a millisecond AT MOST)

...another tally for Crack Theory A of magic! Shaggy and Scooby *scribbles*

-------

Fred, be very very thankful that there are no people operating those pumpkins in person cause uhhhh

Those traps would be spraying red instead of orange

------

Another weird music choice - the gang goes up to fight the Jackal Lanterns, but the music is the same 60s bubble we heard earlier 

Not terribly atmospheric, really

(wouldn’t a Smashing Pumpkins cover of Scooby Doo be more appropriate, or did you guys spend all your money on hiring Elvira and Bill Nye?)

------

Dang

Velma just admitted her fears and jumped into the mouth of the Mega Pumpkin, before getting Fred to use the app from earlier to shut it down, revealing it to be a giant drone surrounded by smaller pumpkin drones

This feels… counterintuitive, but I’ll try to explain at the end

---

Okay

I’ll admit it

The Whodunnit is actually pretty decent in concept

There was a sprinkling of tidbits that could be assembled for the final conclusion and still make a decent amount of sense, all to find the sheriff doing it 

Only he isn’t a sheriff

He’s a former Tech CEO who was also busted by the gang years ago in a case the Sheriff kept bringing up throughout the movie - due to his prison sentence, he lost more than half his wealth and the opportunity to expand it further with the Crystal Cove Lithium deposits

He was also someone who sold tech to Crane for his fear toxin distribution, where he got the idea to frame him for it

(tho on a side note, Crane is an absolute dork and a terrible liar - just look at the email he sent XD and that profile pic, my gods)

He deliberately picked at the gang for the past few DTVs (specifically 2: Return to Zombie Island and Curse of the 13th Ghost) to fracture their confidence, undermine them, etc - all so that in one fell swoop, he could retake his fortune, frighten everyone in town away from the mines so they couldn’t interfere, frighten away the gang (while also ruining their reputation as mystery solvers), and take Crane off the docket so he couldn’t identify the CEO when he pretended to be the sheriff

This… is actually a pretty damn good plan, for a Scooby villain. He was patient, manipulative, and clever, learning how best to tie up loose ends and win back what he lost. A clever revenge story that came so close to coming to fruition, and could have honestly been sold convincingly… 

...if it hadn’t been done so much better in Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed. 

Yeeeaaaah, this movie basically lifts the rough framework up from that one - past mystery villain comes back to attack the gang and ruin their reputation (tho this one decides to also make his fortune back and tie up loose ends with former criminal contacts, a la Crane). Gang is embarrassed in front of the news folk, another villain is framed for it (like Old Man Wickles of the Black Knight fame), and the gang must reconcile to foil the villain for good.

Although it also??? Merges elements of Frankencreepy in it?? The movie is focused on Velma, who is struggling to admit when she’s wrong (which ties into her fear, somehow… I’ll think on that point a little) and things purportedly go haywire when she won’t bend. This… isn’t illustrated as well here, since there’s very little direct cause-and-effect from Velma’s actions that would prove this point - that insisting her way is the right, best, and therefore only way to go ends up making things worse.  

As much as I despised Frankencreepy (and I DESPISED IT), it did do that part well - showing that refusing to budge on something can lead to you hurting your friends (literally, in that one), and that admitting you were wrong and need help isn’t the end of the world. 

(that movie also had former villains returning to gain vengeance upon the gang using psychological warfare, hm - may need to go over that one again, unfortunately).

It’s a shame, too -  the basic elements for this plot are all here, they just need to be polished and reworked a bit to make a really fascinating movie. 

------

Anyways, back to the asshat CEO who just… faked being a sheriff. Because white people can get away with that so long as they have the outfit and the car *throws up hands* (the sad part is this is probably something that actually happens)

As he drives away we see a familiar silhouette looming in the cornfields, watching him approach

Velma had Bill Nye on speaker, so he could record the entire confession for the federal officers nearby (who were taking Scarecrow back to Arkham), and track the phone signal to his exact location

And right as his holographic call cuts out, we see the shadow of a Scarecrow looming over him, causing him to scream.

When the feds arrive at his final location, both his body and the money have vanished. The car still sits, engine running, before the crows leering over him from the field vanish into the sky. 

-------

Now that he’s dead, the gang walks and finds themselves at a Halloween party, with friendly faces and good food. The mystery is solved, though the culprit may never be found again. 

Then Daphne admits to NOT trying to steal Elvira’s costume for Halloween, but instead trying to steal Elvira’s identity and replace her. 

Something that she’s apparently nearly gotten away with on past mysteries working with Phillis Diller

*sighs* movie, why couldn’t you just stick to the costume schtick? This is just… so much worse. 

-----

From there, Elvira walks off to wrap things up, reveal the monster face on the back of her head sans wig (which was also a monkey), and start the credits, where we see the gang working to bring the Mystery Machine back to its former glory a la Frankenstein pastiche. 

This movie… this movie is a hot mess, but at least it’s an OKAY hot mess. 

It really does feel like someone started writing a decent Velma-focused movie concerning the Scarecrow and a past Mystery Inc villain interfering, but was bogged down by notes from higher-ups: Wait! Write in Elvira! Also write in Bill Nye! Hey, let’s have a Mad Max car chase with the Jackal Lanterns! And have Daphne obsessed with literally becoming Elvira! Also make reference to things that we’ll insist be explained this way instead of a way that makes sense! Great!

(seriously tho, we never find out who Crane cares about most that reminds him of Velma, what the heck?)

It’s like two or three different scripts were smooshed together without being cleaned up - stuff is said that doesn’t get resolved, the celebrity guests don’t get to breathe much and feel squished together, and the build-up for the villain feels… less impactful, even knowing that he’s been in the past two films. 

It might have worked if he’d been in… let’s say like 5 or 6 DTVs in a row, speaking roles for dissing the gang growing in each (ex start with “Good job kids! But maybe next time, leave it to the professionals, okay?” and growing more bitter from there), but only 2 feels kind of meh. Still, I do appreciate the clues we got to collect together, and they all work in the final breakdown of the scheme - some DTVs can feel like they pull stuff completely out of nowhere, so kudos there. 

I appreciate what they wanted to do with Velma - give her a character development arc similar to Shaggy’s in Shaggy’s Showdown. Unfortunately, it wasn’t set up quite so neatly: they blended her ‘refusal to admit fear’ with her overconfidence that she was always right, and it led to a weird conclusion. To face her fears, she leapt into the Giant Pumpkin, which… proved that she was right all along about it being fake, and that solves things somehow. It doesn’t address how she can get something wrong sometimes, it doesn’t really address what she’s afraid of (which is honestly quite good: she’s afraid of failing in a way that allows bad guys to escape justice and in a way that hurts her friends), it’s just a bit of a mess. Points for aiming the focus the right way (and in a way that DOESN’T sexualize the underage teenage girl, unlike some DTVs cough cough Frankencreepy cough cough), but it’s very very messy how it goes about it. 

The movie actually balanced pretty well for the whole gang - no excessive focus on one leaving the rest in the dust (too much at least - Fred was a touch underdeveloped, but nowhere near as annoying as past iterations have been. Shaggy and Scooby were kind of meh in some places but great in others, while Daphne was just odd. I think they were trying to recapture the BCSD Daphne characterization, but they failed. Still, she did spend some good time kicking ass with the pumpkins, so that was fun.

Now for the Rogue, Jonathan Crane. If you like Crane, this movie gives you: maniacal Scarecrow, calm and creepy Crane, a brief glimpse at fanboy!Crane (he admits in his own awkward way that he’s a fan of Elvira, and later tells her he loves her work - it’s fun), and (best of all for me) a heroic Crane - one who helps the protagonists and ends up kicking ass pretty damn well, brief as it was. And while DILF Crane is always a treat, he feels underutilized in this. In comparison, Scooby Doo/Batman Brave and the Bold really utilized a lot of different aspects of Riddler, to the point he actually does feel pretty menacing by the third act. It’s a shame we don’t quite get that with Crane, but I do love seeing him 1. More out of mask, and 2. Acting as a good guy (in his own way), so he’s enjoyable on the whole. 

I kind of wish that the whole movie was spent more with Crane, but again, the script is a bit of a mess on this part - the fact that he’s not completely screwed over is a goddamn miracle. 

Elvira was… okay. She didn’t have much of a purpose beyond getting the plot started and giving Daphne some hooks to play off of. Bill Nye (abrupt as his introduction was) did provide some necessary elements to the mystery, as well as the tech; he wasn’t too bad by the end. (still a touch bitter we didn’t get ex roommate Nye, but hey, what can you do)

Humor was… mixed. Some good, some meh, but very few long enough to feel painful. Some bits felt extraneous at times, but they did help to build to the conclusion, so points for effort.

At the end of the day though, I’m probably keeping this more for Jonathan Crane than anyone else. It does have a lot of fanfic potential tho 🤔🤔🤔

That’s all from me tonight, folks! Hope you enjoyed my own little breakdown of the movie. 

[radramblog]

Radiohead Retrospective Part 5: I forgot what I was gonna call this one

The previous few entries in this retrospective have had a big old lead-in, about where the band was and how the next album came to be. This gets somewhat awkward now, as we discuss Radiohead’s fifth album, Amnesiac.

The issue is, this tracks on this album were recorded in the same session as Kid A, and it was released just over half a year later, so there isn’t as much to talk about. Kid A was, obviously, huge, but its success wouldn’t affect Amnesiac that much. I guess it got a bunch of music videos? Like, Kid A didn’t have singles, so it didn’t have either those or B-sides.

Regardless, despite being recorded simultaneously, Amnesiac is not truly cut from the same cloth as Kid A. It’s a titch more traditional and less electronic, bringing in jazz influences and classical stuff in addition to the electronica the previous album debuted. It also apparently has krautrock influences, but I don’t really know what that means, so perhaps we should just dive into it and find out.

Much like Kid A and Everything In Its Right Place, Amnesiac opens on an electronic line, albeit one that is slightly less iconic. Packt Like Sardines In a Crushd Tin Box (the spelling errors are not mine) is a substantially more muted introduction, driven by a scattered electronic percussion and a very low melody. The lyrics are pretty simple, but “I’m a reasonable man, get off my case” is kind of just a great, memeable line I’m sure people have had fun with.

Packt Like Sardines does unfortunately introduce us to a problem surrounding Amnesiac, and the discussion surrounding it. It is extremely often considered an outtakes album, a smattering of disconnected tracks, and I consider that completely unfair to the album’s design. However, Packt does inevitably invite comparisons to Everything, and it doesn’t compare favourably. I still really like the song, it’s soft and somehow comfortable in its coldness, but Everything is, well, everything.

This theme may continue.

It is exceptionally frustrating that a higher-quality copy of this video isn’t available, because it’s really good.

There was a solid period where I considered Pyramid Song my favourite Radiohead track. It is impossibly deep, and beautiful, and above all else evocative. I have no idea why it’s called the way it is, a name echoing either geometry or the ancient past, but the little piano loop Pyramid Song is built upon is just…so much. The lyrics aren’t especially complex, but they manage to capture a very specific emotion of loss and grief, but of absolution, and just hnnng.

If you didn’t watch the video, by the way, go fucking do that. It might have the graphics of an early 00s video game cutscene, but it is genuinely as evocative and tragic as the song itself. Although according to the comments, Pyramid Song was apparently in Cyberpunk 2077, which on the one hand is cool it exposed a bunch of new people to this baller song, on the other hand it deserves so much better than being in that of all games.

I’m just going to say this ahead of time, I don’t think Radiohead captures beauty so well again until two albums from now.

We go from the utterly iconic Pyramid Song to the significantly less so Pulk/Pull Revolving Doors. I…really don’t know what there is to say about this one. It’s kind of an electronic soundscape more than a piece of music. It technically has lyrics, but they’re so heavily affected that it’s hard to see them as separate from the tune itself. I’ve spoken before about songs that are driving towards a point, that have a clear sense of forward motion from a repeating instrumental that feels like the consistent rattle of a train car. This song sort of has that, but without as much of the energy as those songs often have- it’s like a ride you have no control over. It’s basically fine, but I have no idea when I’d ever go out of my way to listen to this.

Also, what the fuck is a Pulk? That’s actually a word, I’m not getting a red underline like with Crushd, but I’m not sure if it’s an intentional misspelling or not.

The next song, You and Whose Army?, is something I remember as being way less subtle than it is. I mean the lyrics are very clearly directed at a person, and spoilers, it’s UK Prime Minister Tony Blair, but if you don’t know the period, or the band’s politics in general, it’s probably going to go right over your head.

It’s a song with two clear halves. One of them is quiet, muted even, subtle instrumentation over muffled vocals, and the second is swelling, and triumphant, powerful instrumentation over muffled vocals. The second half is a lot of fun, but it wouldn’t feel as paid off were it not for the first, so fair enough. I think I used to like this song a lot more than I do now, unfortunately.

I Might Be Wrong is probably the most traditional song we’ve seen from this band in a minute, huh. A bass-driven track that is unquestionably a rock song, even with more electronic percussion and effects on it. Try listening to this with headphones, by the way- it’s extremely heavily panned, something I picked up on in high school since every pair of earphones I’d get would break in one ear eventually.

Despite the previous track’s eventual energy, I Might Be Wrong conveys the general mood of the album- that is, it’s pretty mellow? Even as the bluesy groove keeps going, the track never gets as intense as even say No Surprises. It’s a bit of a vibe, isn’t it? I especially enjoy the little Afterword the song has, it’s not much but I feel like it really adds to the track as a whole.

Wait how the fuck is You And Whose Army? more popular than this? What 23 million people pop that song on the reg? I don’t understand.

Considering the subject matter of this song, and that I’d never watched it before, I was somewhat apprehensive clicking this music video. And…..yeah………..it sure is like that…..

Anyway so Knives Out is about eating people. Probably? That’s the text of it, the subtext is probably a fair bit deeper than that. Like taking advantage of what people leave behind in their absence in a more general, non-cannibalistic sense. Maybe.

I think this song is the most acoustic/least electronic song on the album? Save for one we’ll get to later, maybe. Its lyrics are kind of gross, but that’s allowed.

I’m somewhat frustrated by the lack of things I can think of to say, because I really like this song. It’s a lot like I Might Be Wrong, in that it’s a more chill rockier song than most of the album, but with a different sort of vibe. Uhh…yeah? Shrug? 8/10, would listen to again.

Anyway, we now hit Morning Bell/Amnesiac as track number 7, and it’s the least subtle reference to Kid A I guess you can think of. I mean, it’s a different version of the same song, much louder and more discordant. Bits of it sound like they could be comforting, but juxtaposed with some of the more distressing elements it’s a bit of a whirlwind.

I can comfortably say that Morning Bell/Amnesiac is A Good Song. However, I can’t really appreciate it as such, for a very silly reason. Since I thought the pun would be good, I had this track as my morning alarm for a very long time, and as a result, I cannot stand listening to it. Let this be a warning, never use a song you like to try and get out of bed, if you want to keep liking it.

Dollars and Cents is another sparse, low rock track that eventually builds into a bigger deal as it goes on. Honestly, it’s kind of hard to make out the instruments, a low cymbal line and loose guitar folding in on each other in the background. It, regrettably, doesn’t quite land on the same stick as many of the other tracks on the album, being basically fine but not really notable? And I think that’s the biggest difference between Amnesiac and Kid A, Amnesiac actually misses. Like, I always forget about In Limbo, but it’s unquestionably a good song. Between many of Amnesiac’s more experimental tracks not living quite up to snuff, and Dollars and Cents being largely okay, it’s no wonder why the album is often seen as the inferior follow-up.

This is not particularly helped by the ninth track, Hunting Bears, a loose guitar instrumental that doesn’t work nearly as well as Treefingers. It doesn’t have the vibe, and it doesn’t fit as cleanly in the middle of the album like that one does. It’s just, kind of, there. I genuinely usually skip it when I listen to this album, but I figured it wouldn’t be fair to do that here. It’s just, kind of, a miss. Pretty short, though- I could believe this originally having been part of Dollars and Cents, like a longer version of the end bit from I Might Be Wrong.

While I know this is a video for both Pulk/Pull and Like Spinning Plates, I associate it more with the latter. Not only is the version of Pulk/Pull very different from the album, well, you’ll see why I think the LSP bit is more memorable.

I think Like Spinning Plates is extremely cool. If nothing else, it’s super interesting how they got this to work. The vocal effect for the first verse was achieved by getting Thom to sing the lyrics, reversing that recording, having him memorise how that sounded and perform that, and then reversing that into the final results. How cool is that? I think it’s cool. Also at some points in the second verse, they’re playing a forwards and backwards vocal track simultaneously, which is a really neat effect.

The instrumental is…hard to describe. Apparently, it was a result of trying to make I Will (which would release one album later), which they reversed and played with to get this track. If you’re very familiar with that song, I suppose you could hear that, but I can’t. I just sit back and appreciate the music.

Amnesiac’s final track is Life in a Glasshouse, easily its most bombastic and jazzy. This sounds like a cabaret closer, a swaggering tragedy, an exploratory rehearsal of a final track. It also kind of sounds like a mental breakdown, which, mood.

There’s like, a whole band on this thing. Horns and woodwinds, a piano and probably more than one percussion element. The clarinet (?) noodling on the song is incredibly fun, giving it an almost playful edge, undercutting the downtempo mood of the song, and keeping it from being such a dirge. Especially as the track builds towards its finale, it’s clear that there was a bit more fun going on here. Of course, it can’t end on such a climax, as that little stitch of paranoia that ends up being the album’s closing word manages to sneak through.

And that ends Amnesiac. Now, obviously, it isn’t as good as Kid A. It’s less consistent, it doesn’t have Idioteque, et cetera. But I don’t actually think the comparison is as one to one as often it appears people do. The styles of the albums are completely different- Kid A incorporating so much ambient and electronic noise while Amnesiac has more of the acoustic and jazzy stuff going on. The two albums may have released closely, and recorded even moreso, but they are extremely different beasts at the end of the day.

It’s far from my favourite album of Radiohead’s, but I wouldn’t fault anyone for having it as theirs, you know.

We’ll get to my favourite album next week, where we will also see if I can either defend or maintain that opinion. Hail to the Thief beckons.

[flowitch]

supernatural and lgbtqia+ characters

DISCLAIMER: i love these characters, which is why i watch the show. i do also have many issues with the show and the writers. this isn’t a hate post for the story or the characters, just the way the characters have been treated. do not read this if you are not caught up and do not want spoilers. this is also kinda a mess but i got very passionate about this and wrote it during classes

Dean Winchester

i’m gonna start with my boy dean!! dean is mine along with many other people’s favorite characters because of how complex he is. and one of the things that adds depth to his character is his “journey” with his sexuality.

there are many examples of dean very clearly not being straight, and he is officially headcanoned (and i guess canon now) as bisexual. you don’t even need to include dean and cas scenes for examples of his bisexuality. here is a video showing examples without any cas scenes:

https://youtu.be/rQSPmmuLJB0

now that we’ve established he is bisexual, let’s talk about the contradiction between the writing of his sexuality and character. the one i’m itching to talk about first is the confession scene in 10x16.

https://youtu.be/IqBHkwi13ic

in this scene, dean says, and i quote, if you don’t want to watch the video and don’t remember, “There's things, there's...people...feelings that I- I want to experience differently. Maybe even for the first time.” there honestly is no other way to interpret this. i’ve tried to put myself in the mind of the writers and the homophobes but i genuinely cannot interpret this another way. this is very clearly about his sexuality, being that there were no love interests at the time that this would apply to (not that this would even apply to a straight couple anyway). and not only does this confession scene occur, but sam even comments on how he was in there for a long time and he could always talk to him if he needs to!!!! they could have easily not had sam say anything about how long he spent in there, being that we as the viewers have no clue as to how long he was in there. they wrote that specifically to show that what he said in there had meaning and importance.

the writers and the crew of the show play into dean’s sexuality consistently with scenes, song of the days from the crew, etc., but then deny that destiel or dean’s bisexuality is real. i think a lot of this has to do with the fact that dean has always been considered as a “macho man” who shows very little emotion and has trouble with vulnerability. and that’s true! he absolutely is. but this show had 15 years to allow him to slowly work through his feelings and his issues with his own sexuality and self. the confession is a great example of the writers being almost there and then never speaking about it again.

even if you aren’t bisexual, you can see how much biphobia there is in the world. and as a bisexual woman i can say that bisexuality in men is so looked down upon it’s disturbing. men coming to terms with their bisexuality, especially if they are considered straight and “manly”, always makes me so happy since it’s not as accepted as female bisexuality. and this is another reason why supernatural exploring dean’s bisexuality would have been so incredible. seeing a man on television who has a lot of internal issues come to terms with something so complex and life changing would have been monumental to so many people. the writers had an infinite amount of ways to go about this because of things that THEY wrote, and instead chose to ignore his sexuality and have him not respond to castiel’s confession in 15x18. it’s very clear he was in shock in that episode so i’m not mad, but it is also clear that they wrote it that way to not fully make deancas canon.

dean winchester is bisexual, and the writers wrote him that way. nobody pulled this out of their ass, destiel didn’t become popular randomly and for no reason, they wrote him this way. this is their own writing that they have chosen to ignore and contradict for 15 seasons and it’s disappointing.

Castiel

this entire post is being written on november 6, 2020. one day after 15x18 aired. castiel is now canonically queer, and was already sent to someplace worse than hell. because he was happy. which directly connected to his love for dean. i honestly don’t even have to write cas’ section because that is enough, but i’ll write about his mistreatment anyway.

we knew the only thing that would make cas truly happy would be something with dean. well we assumed the writers would make up some other bullshit, but we hoped that it had something to do with dean. and sure enough, it was his love confession. and what i loved about this was cas starts it off by saying two beautiful things. one, that he knows he can never have what he really wants (dean), but he’s just as happy telling dean he loves him. he doesn’t need to have him to be happy with where they end their story, as long as dean knows. and the other thing he starts off by saying is that he knows how dean sees himself. he lists off all of these extremely kind things about dean and how dean is what made cas care about the world. he is the reason castiel went from an emotionless soldier to a fallen angel that feels deep love for people.

this confession scene although tainted by the fact that he died right after, which we’ll talk about, and the fact that it took this damn long, really means a lot to me. it was so incredible seeing cas be unapologetically open, honest, in love, and himself. he was for the first time since we’ve known him, completely and totally content. he told the man he loves how incredible he thinks he is and how he loves him, and knew he was saving him from billie by doing it. we’ve never seen him that happy. and it’s heartbreaking. 

misha summed it up perfectly i think: “Tonight, watching Cas talk to Dean, I got lost in the story and forgot for a moment that I’m the one who plays that angel and I thought, “He’s how I want to be. He’s openhearted and he’s selfless and he’s true.”

this was the first time we saw cas living his whole truth, and he immediately died. in terms of just bad taste, sending someone who just came out to angel hell is very disturbing, but it’s just further proof of the writers not caring about their lgbtqia+ characters. it’s like they gave us what we wanted, but there just had to be a catch, right? these writers very clearly do not care about their queer characters or fans, and what they did to cas here shows that plain as day.

obviously i really do want dean to save cas from the empty to parallel cas saving him from hell, but do i think it’ll happen in these last two episodes? no. first off i just don’t think misha filmed for the last two episodes, but also, the writers have made it clear that they do not care about cas in general, nevermind their now love story. it just does not sit right with me that he got sent to the empty for eternity because he was finally his whole self and happy.

Charlie Bradbury (our world + au)

we have seen charlie bradbury die twice, both times for no reason at all. the first time we saw her die, it was by the hands of a NAZI, and her body was THROWN INTO A BATHTUB. like i said before with cas, that was explanation enough i mean come ON. the second time we witnessed charlie die was in 15x18, (along with the whole world i know bare with me), which we did NOT need to see. 

let’s start with the fact that for all of these characters, supernatural creates and writes them wonderfully for the most part. we fall in love with these characters because of the way they were written, acted, and the dynamic with other characters. unfortunately in supernatural, if you are queer or a woman or god forbid both, that dynamic with other characters will be the death of you. 

i’m gonna talk about each other her deaths individually. so her first death. the only reason for her death was to further sam and dean’s (mostly dean’s) man pain. although i eat up the reactions of other characters when another dies, this just felt completely unnecessary to me. the writers wrote a fan-favorite character, and decided that the best course of action was to brutally murder her to further dean’s mark of cain storyline. and i loved that storyline! i loved the scene of dean getting revenge for charlie! but it did not need to happen. the only thing the fans wanted was for her to be alive and well, get more screentime and possibly have a girlfriend. 

when directly asked why they thought killing charlie was a good idea, jeremy carver said: 

“That’s an excellent question, and it, it’s tough just because...any time you have a favorite character on a show...People die on the show. And, and, and...and, unfortunately...So...there’s so many ways to answer that. And I feel, I, I...it’s tough for me to answer. She’s an absolutely beloved character, beloved on the show...And when we’re in the writer’s room...we have to go where the story takes us. And we try and do it without, um...(insert fans booing and the cast laughing at him)...this is the world day of my life. And I’d like to thank everyone up here for the support.” (they were not helping).

not only did he not have a clue on how to answer a question that should have an understandable answer, but then the best thing that he could come up with is “we have to go where the story takes us.” but why would that possibly be where the story takes you? if supernatural had more diversity than straight white males and possibly one woman that dies or is evil, then fine kill off whoever you want even if i don’t like it. but it becomes a gender and sexuality issue when she is not only the only recurring female character at the time, but also the only recurring lgbtqia+ character at the time (minus cas). 

now the second time she’s died. mind you this isn’t our world’s charlie. they brought her back for the fans and for the cast/crew that love her and felicia. we’ve established that she’s here living her life someplace. we haven’t heard anything about her for a hot minute, and then they decide to bring her back for 15x18. i was thrilled! i could not wait to see her, and was even more excited when she showed up on my television. and then, even better, we found out she has a girlfriend who she lives with and is clearly happy/comfortable with. and then what happens, may you ask? her girlfriend, stevie, a queer woman of color, vanishes. boom another unnecessary lgbtqia+ and woman death that could have been avoided if they just wrote in sam and dean calling her for help. 

later on in the episode, everyone on earth excluding dean, sam, and jack are gone- completely vanished where they stood. charlie of course is among those people. bare with me here, i know everyone vanished and it’s not the same as the first one. but here’s my issue with it: she did not have to come back. i would have rather had donna say “jodie, the girls, charlie, they’re ready to go when you need them”, and then they all vanish off screen. but instead they went through the trouble of bringing her back, showing her happy, having her experience a painful loss, and then disappear anyway. what was the point in having her in the episode?

like i mentioned earlier with dean being representation for bisexual men, charlie was just that for lesbians!! the amount of posts i’ve seen on multiple platforms talking about how much they resonated with charlie or how heartbroken they were no longer having representation on their favorite show is awful. there was a kickass nerdy, kind, strong, loving lesbian on your show not once but twice (au charlie), and you blew it. 

Claire + Kaia (Dreamhunter)

this part isn’t going to be long because there are some exceptions: wayward sisters failed spinoff (i’m still heartbroken i want it so bad), kathryn newton’s new status and inability to be in the show, etc.. so i guess this will just be a short thing about wayward sisters and what that could mean for claire and kaia. 

they had already established in supernatural that kaia was claire’s first love. we had gotten some really cute scenes with them, and then wayward sisters was finally a possibility. if the show had gone through, which i’m not sure why it didn’t, claire and kaia’s relationship could have been a goldmine. young girls could see themselves represented by characters already adored by supernatural fans. it would’ve shown a beautiful wlw relationship between two young girls who are also kickass and can keep up with their elders/male counterparts. 

i can’t pin this on the writers sadly (lmao), but i am still upset that we didn’t get wayward sisters. it would’ve meant a lot to women and to the lgbtqia+ community. 

My thoughts

like i said in the disclaimer, i love these characters and the story of supernatural. i always will. but i can’t lie about how frustrating it is seeing women, lgbts and people of color get constantly disregarded and mistreated. the writers had 15 years to get with the times, and the growth of society. stuff that i saw in season one and wasn’t surprised by should not still be happening in season 15. having writers that are all straight white males/women is not enough anymore. it never was. there has to be something for everyone in a show as big as this. it’s not about meeting diversity requirements, it’s about actually having diversity because it’s real. there are no diversity requirements for people in society. these are just people of different races, ethnicities, sexualities, genders, etc. who want to see someone like them represented on the things that they watch. it’s a lonely feeling not being validated by a show that you love.  

i might make another post specifically for the women mistreatment and queerbaiting on this show but that’s all for my essay on why supernatural sucks at not mistreating their queer characters :)

[sserpente]

Another chance (SPOILERS!)

Synopsis: Five years after Loki’s death, your life in New Asgard is all but miserable. You miss him. You mourn him. And you would do anything in your power to get him back. So when Rocket and Bruce suddenly show up at Thor’s doorstep to recruit him for a mission to undo the damage Thanos has done, you take your chance and join them. You travel back in time only to come face to face with the man you love so dearly--back in 2012. Back when he was still alive. And when things go wrong and you suddenly find him snuffling the Tesseract, you selfishly throw all of your plans overboard. You cannot lose him. Not again. So you jump out the moment he opens up a portal, disappearing and taking you with him. You had only one last shot at bringing the man you love back. Now, you have one last shot at convincing him not to kill you. You have one last shot at saying your goodybe. You have one last shot at telling him you love him. Only what will happen once the Avengers have defeated Thanos and return the Infinity Stones where they belong? Will you stay trapped in the past, with a different Loki who does not know you yet? Will the man you were going to marry be lost forever? Or will there be another chance?

Pairing: Loki x Reader Chapter: 1/1 Words: 5842 Warnings:  SPOILERS FOR AVENGERS: ENDGAME, angst & fluff

You hated the sun. Hated how hopeful it looked when it crawled over the horizon and filled your surroundings with light and warmth. You longed to rip it out of the sky and drown it in the sparkling water to your feet.

Five years. Five years had passed since Loki’s death and your heart still felt like it had been crushed only yesterday. Not one night passed in which you did not wish for him to be back by your side, to wrap you in his strong arms and let you fall asleep against his chest, listening to his soothing heartbeat. Never again would you hear that calming sound. Never again would you hold his hand, kiss his lips and see that mischievous and playful smirk you had fallen in love with.

Your lips parted when the first tear drop escaped your eyes and united with the sea. You watched it draw circles on the surface. Over the last years, you had cried so much you were surprised there were any tears left in your body at all and yet here you were, getting lost in your undying grief and mourning once again.

Back when you had decided to come to New Asgard, as Thor had named the small village the remaining Asgardians settled down in, you had hoped it would help you feel closer to Loki. Your Loki. Your fiancé. Your almost-husband.

You had picked a wedding dress already. A green, strapless piece of silken fabric sparkling with one thousand golden gems—a ball gown fit for a princess. And a princess was what you would have become upon laying down your vows.

Sobbing quietly, you glanced down at your left hand, fondling the golden engagement ring with the green jewel and the tiny diamonds Loki had given to you.

Valkyrie had suggested you took it off. The ring held a promise Loki would never be able to fulfil now and it would be pointless, cruel to keep wearing a reminder of what you had lost, holding you back and keeping you from seeing a new future.

But there was no future without Loki. You had known the day you had stood on the edge of the pier, only a week after his death. The ring had felt heavy in your hand when you had attempted to toss it into the sea, angry at the man you loved for leaving you behind. You couldn’t do it. You couldn’t move on. You never would.

Thor was no help. He only ever made it worse and you avoided him as best as you could. The strong, brave and self-righteous man you had once known was gone. And ever since he had chopped off Thanos’ head, he had turned into a shadow of what he had once been, drinking too much ale and playing silly video games with Korg and Miek. Loki would have laughed at his appearance.

You lazily turned your head when heard the truck approach. While you expected it to be another delivery of goods for the village, you were all the more surprised to see the Hulk jumping off the load area, accompanied by a raccoon carrying a gun. A courtesy visit?

Frowning, you stood, following the two inside. It took you a moment to realise they were looking for Thor. Your heart sank to your boots once you were close enough to listen, leaning against the threshold of Thor’s door.

Quantum realm. Time travel. Infinity Stones. Thanos. One more chance. What you picked up made little to no sense at first. You had never understood all that science talk Tony Stark regularly turned your head with. But you didn’t need to. All that mattered was one more chance—and that you would have a shot getting your Loki back.

“I want to come too.” The words came out of your mouth before you had a chance to stop them, let alone consider what you were getting yourself into.

“Who’s this?” The raccoon threw in, earning him a dismissive glance.

“(Y/N).” Hulk… or was it Bruce… greeted politely. You nodded.

Thor only glared at you. You hadn’t exactly been on good terms lately. Loki had laid down his life for him, sacrificed himself for his only brother and he repaid him by getting drunk, threatening nerds online and refusing to remember him at all. One month ago, you had thrown a glass bottle at him.

When Thor still didn’t respond, Rocket shrugged. “We can use all the help we can get, (Y/N) whoever-you-are.”

Good. Because if Thor had already forgotten Loki, that was the least you could do. You owed it to him.

“Thor. Thank you for coming. What the hell happened to you?” It was Steve Rogers who greeted him first, pulling him in a friendly hug. You spotted Tony Stark and Natasha Romanoff as well as Clint Barton in the room.

“Who’s your friend?”

Your smile was restrained. There was at least one thing Thor and you had in common. Your emotions were no longer in your control.

“I’m (Y/N). I am… was… Loki’s fiancé.”

The room went silent so fast you could have heard a needle drop. Rocket, the raccoon, had no idea what was going on, yet out of the people in the room, it was only Thor and Nebula who remained unsurprised.

“This is awkward. What’s happening?” Rocket said.

“Nothing except for she was the fiancé of a war criminal and murderer.” Clint shot back, eyeing you down angrily. You sighed. You had expected this reaction. The Asgardians had come to terms with you already. The Avengers would take a while longer. “Why are you here? If you expect we’re going to bring him back of all people, you’re really wrong.”

“I know him. I met him. Loki didn’t attack your planet deliberately,” Nebula interrupted suddenly. “Thanos threatened to kill him if he didn’t comply. My father can be very convincing.”

Nebula. You knew her, Loki had told you about meeting her and Gamora when he was with Thanos. You were the only one he had told about the horrors and tortures he had gone through after his alleged deadly fall from the Bifrost. He had told you he had survived and come back as a different man and in return, you had told him that you loved the man he was now, that you would love the man he would one day become and surely, that you would have loved the man he once was. You almost smiled fondly at the memory. Without expressing it in words, you knew Loki could not quite believe he had found you.

You didn’t nearly spend enough time together before he had to die. He didn’t nearly experience as much happiness as he deserved. Nebula’s words brought tears to your ears—a gesture the Avengers did not fail to notice.

Natasha was the first one to lose her ice-cold demeanour towards you.

“Clint, if we want to do this, we need all the help we can get.” She repeated what Rocket had pointed out already. “Whatever it takes.”

You nodded, swallowing thickly to scare away the tears. “So what’s the plan?”

The past doesn’t change the future. Was that what Bruce had said? Your hopes collapsed in on themselves like a house of cards and still, you refused to curl up and believe he was supposed to be gone. Five years was not a long time then. He was Loki. The Trickster. The God of Mischief. There had to be a way. Somehow.

Your suit was tight. Scott had attempted to explain to you just how the quantum realm worked and why you had to dress like a domina in order to travel through time but you had shut down after two sentences. As long as you made it back and… back… alive and preferably, with Loki by your side, you would accept feeling like head cheese.

It was Natasha who had suggested you did not team up with Thor. Instead, just so both Tony and Steve could keep an eye on you, you were to go with them. Back to 2012 when Loki had attacked New York. Back to when Loki and you hadn’t met yet. Chewing on your lower lip nervously, you took a deep breath in a desperate attempt to stay calm.

Regardless. This was your one shot—and if Thor thought the same, he did not show. You wondered whether the idea of bringing his only brother back even occurred to him. For years now, you had thought you knew him—now, you were not so sure anymore.

Next thing you knew you flew. If you had to name the odd feeling cursing through your entire body, you would compare it to travelling by Bifrost—yet at the same time, it was completely different, like being sucked somewhere you did not belong. A different time.

And as fast as it had started, it was over again. It felt no different, like nothing had happened at all. You opened your eyes, not realising you had closed them in the first place only to come face to face with the streets of New York City—destroyed, full of debris and destruction. Loki’s work.

Swallowing thickly, you breathed out audibly to calm your rapid heartbeat.

“You know what to do. Let’s split up.”

“And don’t forget we have only one shot at this.” Scott brushed against your shoulder when he walked past you, ripping you from your paralysis. Stark Tower was close, too close. Your heart was aching at the very thought of the man you loved being safe and sound in this reality, this time.

Did you have a plan? Yes. But not in 2012. If you were going to bring Loki back, you would have to distract them just long enough to steal one of their magic vials to travel through time on your own. Was it sneaky, selfish and would you risk the entire universe crumbling to pieces, with billions mourning the loss they had to endure because of Thanos? Yes. But so were you. You were not going to live without Loki any longer. You could do this.

So, arriving at Stark Tower, you sat down and waited, knowing that the man you loved was only a few floors above you.

“You alright there, kid?”

“Don’t call me kid, Stark. I am (Y/A) years old, for Heaven’s sake.” Truth be told, however, you did not care what the billionaire called you. All you wanted was to distract yourself from a panic attack—or an emotional attack—or whatever the hell you professionally described travelling to the past to meet your now dead fiancé when he did not even know you yet. You doubted somebody had already invented a term for that tragic phenomenon.

And then the elevator doors opened and out of the lift stepped much younger Avengers than those you had met only a while ago. Your lips parted when you saw him. Shackled and muzzled, Thor dragged him along through the vast lobby past security guards and employees. There was only a hint of defeat in Loki’s blue eyes—the rest was mischief, triumph and undying arrogance.

It was the tiniest of smiles forming on your lips, for no matter how many setbacks he received, he never lost his confidence, at least from the outside. Behind closed doors, it had been your shoulders he had, for the first time in decades, cried on.

Your heart was beating so fast it physically hurt and skipping beat after beat all the same. You wanted to jump, rip that muzzle off his mouth and kiss him, wrap your arms around his strong body and hold him, telling him that everything would be okay, that you would fix this. But you couldn’t. You couldn’t, for you did not know what consequences such actions would hold and you couldn’t because Loki, in this very moment, had no idea who you even were. Your lower lip was shaking. Fuck. Perhaps it had been a bad idea to come after all.

Tony took action when Alexander Pierce stopped the whole lot of them to hand over the Tesseract all the while you turned around panicking, desperately trying to stop the hot tears worsening your sight from streaming down your cheeks. Suppressing a sob, you pressed yourself against the stone pillar.

“Stark… I can’t do this.” You choked out, glancing back to Loki.

“What? Of course you can.”

“No… No, I can’t, I thought I could but I can’t. He’s right there, Stark. Loki is right there and I can do nothing and it’s fucking ripping me apart from the inside.”

“Do it!” He whispered into his ear piece, turning his attention to you only reluctantly when Scott began wreaking havoc among the young Avengers. “Stay where you are, I’ll come pick you up, alright?” Surprisingly, Stark sounded a lot more understanding than you would have assumed—perhaps because by now, you were breathing heavily, sobbing relentlessly.

It was just then that Scott kicked the suitcase with the Tesseract in Tony’s direction, catching Loki’s attention. You immediately retreated even further, eyes darting back and forth between the suitcase and your fiancé right until Stark grabbed it and marched straight towards the elevator—that was until the Hulk burst through the door and knocked the billionaire off his feet.

Flinching, you stumbled back, hoping the green idiot would fail to notice you. Selfishly, you didn’t care about Tony. Instead, your eyes frantically searched the slippery floor for the Tesseract. You gasped when you found it, right at Loki’s feet who was looking at it promisingly.

You knew him well enough—and you were very well aware of what he was going to do next. You were not going to lose him again.

Next thing you knew you had already sprung into action and started at the man you loved, clinging on to him the moment he opened up a portal and disappeared. And you with him.

Stark had blown it but so had you. You were selfish, stupid and too impulsive for your own good. And don’t forget we have only one shot at this, you recalled Scott’s words. And you had wasted it, wasted it because you could not get your own, numbing emotions under control long enough to save Loki’s life. Because you wanted to be with him no matter the cost.

All air was knocked from your body when you collided with the hard ground, rolling over quickly to avoid any major injuries. You winced at the pain cursing through your limbs, yet it subsided rapidly when you realised what you had done.

Panting heavily, you turned over only to face a suspicious and mistrustful Loki glaring at you quizzically. The Tesseract had disappeared—most likely he kept it hidden inside one of his inter-dimensional pockets—you would never understand this kind of magic, after all.

It took you a moment to comprehend he was puzzled not just because a stranger had latched onto him during his sneaky escape but also because you were still crying. It only got worse when your eyes finally met, filling your belly with excited butterflies.

“Who are you?” He had gotten rid of the muzzle too. Abandoned, it lay on the ground, leaving only the shackles a problem. Well, you could help him with that. And yet, it felt like you had lost your voice entirely. Your lips parted in a desperate attempt to reply but what would you say? You couldn’t possibly tell him you were from the future… or could you? Would he believe you? You knew that this Loki right in front of you was a different man, more vulnerable and weary and you knew that he would not hesitate to kill you. You had to be careful. You had to try and elicit those feelings he had for you in your time right here, right now. Only one shot. And you would do what Loki always did—draw an advantage out of the situation presented to you.

“I-I… I… I shouldn’t even be here.” You finally uttered breathlessly, pausing briefly to take in your surroundings. You were in a forest. Dark, with rich trees and evergreen grass to your feet. “W-where are we?”

“Asgard.”

Under different circumstances, you would have smiled. Loki had always wanted to take you to Asgard. Before it was destroyed, he had raved about the library and the secret pathways he had found. He had raved about the beauty of the golden realm—some of the few memories he was still fond of.

“Tell me why I should not just kill you now. Your fellow agents would never find you here, after all.” He was right, they wouldn’t. Trapped in a different time, you were lost to Stark and Scott pretty much forever unless you found a way back on your own. But that was not the point.

“I’m not… I don’t work for SHIELD. It’s… it’s a long story.”

Sobbing once more, you rubbed your eyes to stop the tears to no avail, realising only now you were still kneeling on the ground. By now, Loki was towering above you—just like the first time you had actually met. It hurt incredibly, knowing he was right there in front of you and yet so far away.

“You will have to convince me with the short version, I’m afraid.” He mocked. Only because you knew Loki better than you knew yourself did you overhear the almost gentle undertone in his smooth voice. Loki was many things but he had never been cruel. His threat was but empty as long as you, alas involuntarily, showed him how broken you were.

From somewhere, you took the energy to nod submissively and stand, daring your knees to support you. No broken bones, no sprains, no blood. That was at least something.

“L-let me help you with those.” You said, pointing at his shackles. Loki frowned, not moving when you took a step toward him without showing any fear and reached for the Asgardian metal cuffs. You had been taught how to open them by none other than the man in front of you himself. Loki’s frown deepened when they fell off his wrists and onto the ground.

They had distracted you from your tears for a bit—but now that you were standing this close to the man you loved, meeting his stunning blue eyes and that flawless profile, you were taken instantly by another heart-breaking wave of grief, mourning and affection. The most painful combination of them all.

Crying silently, you studied him, meeting his still confused gaze.

“Loki…” You couldn’t help it, your body would not obey you. Your hand, trembling slightly, came up to cup his cheek, your thumb caressing his skin. Loki did not jerk away but neither did he lean into your touch the way he did in the future. No. The way he used to in the future. He froze when you leapt forward and buried your face in his chest, your arms wrapped tightly around his middle. For a few both painful and wonderfully soothing seconds, he let you hug him—then, effortlessly, he pushed you away firmly but meekly.

“Who are you?” He repeated, more intently this time.

Again, you hesitated. But if anyone could help you figure out a plan, it was Loki himself. Yes, you decided quickly. You would simply tell him. “I… I’m from the future. Now… now I know this sounds crazy but it’s true, look. Stark, he gave us this device—“ You pointed at the little gadget on the back of your hand. “—and… and we used it to travel back in time. He… he did it, Loki. Thanos. He found all the stones and he snapped his fingers and…” Holding back your tears, you recalled, reluctantly, how Loki had faced the cruel Titan one last time. How his dead body had dropped to the floor, broken. Another sob interrupted you, making your words nearly incomprehensible. “We… whoever’s left… this is our only chance so we came back here, to different time periods, collecting the stones before he can to reverse it all.”

Loki must have known by now you had lost someone as well, that you were grieving and hurting. But not in the way he thought you did. Or maybe he did. Loki had always been so incredibly perceptive he had figured out you were in love with him before you had done so yourself.

For an agonising moment, he said nothing, pondering. Then, eventually:

“If I let you return with the Tesseract…” You shook your head before he could even finish, albeit almost dazed by his words, but then again… Loki knew Thanos only too well. Like hell he would try and find him again, hence this lonely Asgardian forest. “I am stuck here. Now that I got separated from the others.”

“Then why did you hold on to me in the first place?”

Your lower lip wouldn’t stop shaking, your eyes never stopping to spill tears like heavy rain drops to water the earth. “Be-because I’m selfish,” you choked out. Once again, the God of Mischief frowned. Slowly, it appeared to dawn on him.

“When will I meet you?” He asked quietly, all hostility now vanished from his voice entirely. But what scared you about his question wasn’t if you were going to do any harm by telling him—it was the fact he must have known by now that he would die and relinquished to learn how and when it would happen and instead first asked at what point in his life he, out of all people, would find love and for once, be truly happy and feel cared for and secure.

You smiled despite your tears. “We meet on Earth. Five years from now.” Loki let your words sink in. Then, he nodded.

“There is a cabin not far from here where an old friend of mine resides. She will let me take shelter.” You nodded mutely. Angrboda. It had to be her. The sorceress was as stubborn as she was cunning which was why Odin had a long time ago banished her and young Loki, curious and mischievous, had then one day found and befriended her. The tricks he had been taught by this woman went beyond even Frigga’s capabilities. Loki had told you about her once.

He asked you several more questions about the future, about Thanos, the stones and what you knew about time travelling on your way to the cabin. His injuries had healed completely by now, you had watched them all disappear slowly. Your heart was beaming, your cheeks burning red. How could you convince yourself that this was not your Loki when he was as mischievous, charming and intelligent as yours? This Loki… he was merely a little more restrained, a little more scornful and simply… younger. Your both sad and relieved smile faded away quickly when you remembered that this Loki had no knowledge of his mother’s death. No knowledge of his own brother and father locking him up in the dungeons to rot in chains. No knowledge of how he was going to sacrifice his life for a man who now refused to even speak his name and acknowledge his fiancé.

Where were you, right now? No, that was the wrong question. When. When were you? If what Bruce Banner had said was true and changing the past would not directly affect the future, then what would happen in this reality, in this time? Now that Loki was here and far away from a cruel trial and verdict by the Allfather, how would his story continue? What if you… stayed with him?

Loki had fallen in love with you once. Could he possibly fall in love with you again? Could you be happy in this time, hiding away on Asgard? What would happen once the Avengers had reversed the snap and returned the stones to their original time periods?

You winced in pain when you felt the headache coming, both from all the unanswered questions tumbling through your head as well as all your tears. Loki noticed every move you made. One look at you sufficed to tell what was wrong—and he didn’t even need to know you yet.

Finally, the bedraggled cabin came in sight. He opened the thick wooden door without knocking, startling a beautiful woman whose human age you would estimate to be around forty. Still, she was breath-taking, her long black hair framing her face and falling over her shoulders like black gold.

“Loki. You’re alive.” Angrboda simply whispered, her grey eyes widened in shock. “I heard the queen was mourning. You fell from the bridge.”

Loki lifted his chin. It was clear to both of them that this was not the time to explain. “I need a place to stay. Odin, or anyone else for that matter, must not find me.”

“You are always welcome in this house. As is your mortal companion. It is (Y/N), am I correct?”

Your lips parted. You did not care how tear-dimmed you must have looked. “How do you know how I am? We never met. I mean… Loki hasn’t…” Angrboda raised her black eyebrows, stopping you mid-sentence.

“Take the room upstairs. Oh and… you both look like you need some strengthening potion. I will have some brewed for you.”

Mutely, the God of Mischief nodded, heading straight for the stairs. You hurried to follow after him.

You would never get enough of watching him. And as long as he was alive, you could live with the fact you were a stranger to him. Loki had barely acknowledged you ever since your arrival in the cabin but mainly because he had gone back downstairs and talked to Angrboda for what had felt like hours. You had attempted to eavesdrop but given up quickly once you realised she had cast a spell on the room.

Now you sat there on the huge double bed and black bed sheets, drinking your strengthening potion the sorceress had poured into a cup of tea. It tasted horrible but you gulped it down anyway, feeling better with every sip. Loki had returned ten minutes ago.

Silently, he stood by the window with his back turned to you and stared outside, pondering. You knew he could look into your mind if you let him, only now, however, were you desperate to touch his forehead with your palm instead.

Your tears had dried for now. There were boiling just underneath the surface, ready to drown you in a sea of pain and loss once more. You would speak quickly before they came to overwhelm you again.

“Loki.”

Slowly, he turned his head. Your heart almost stopped when he looked you straight in the eye. During all the time you had spent with him, you had learned to read his emotions through his eyes. This Loki was no different. But was that really appreciation sparkling in those blue irises? Was it longing and affection?

“I… I don’t know what’s going to happen. If I can just… stay in the past without doing any harm but I just…” There they were, betraying you. Hot tears burning in your eyes and rolling down your cheeks. “When I joined the Avengers on this mission, all I wanted to do was find a way to bring you back. I wanted to save you. Loki… no matter what is going to happen to you in the future, please know that none of it will be your fault and I’m sorry… I’m so sorry I was too fucking selfish to take my chance and bring you back to me. I…” You paused, shaken by a heart-breaking sob. “I love you so much.”

Loki seemed frozen in place but you could tell he was touched by your words, even if he could not possibly understand what they all meant just yet. The moment you broke out in tears was the moment he sat down on the bed and pulled you into his arms. Awkwardly. Like he did not know how to deal with your affection for him. But right now, it was all you needed.

“Did I give you this ring?” He asked quietly, glancing down at your nervous fingers playing with your engagement ring. You snuffled, nodding.

“It held a promise,” you responded. Loki seemed to understand immediately. A few seconds passed.

“How will I… how will it happen? And when?” He inquired then.

You swallowed. “Thanos. Six years from now.”

“I see.” Loki took a deep breath. “You should get some rest. Tomorrow is another day and Angrboda might just find a way to send you back to your own time.”

Oh. He did not want you to stay with him, then. Of course not. Why would he? This Loki didn’t love you. This Loki knew you had spoiled your chance to save his life and disappointed him just like everyone else.

He had left. When you opened your eyes the next morning after an almost sleepless and terrifying night full of bad dreams, fear and mourning, the other side of the bed was made and tidy. He was gone. You knew that your Loki would never leave you behind. But then again this had never been your Loki, after all. It would be unfair to blame him. He deserved freedom. Happiness. If in this reality, timeline, whatever Stark and you had created, he would find it, you would let him. Even if he found it without you. You should be grateful. Thanks to the Avengers, you had been able to talk to him again. You had been able to tell him how much you loved him.

Fighting hard not to start the day by crying yet again, you threw back the covers and frowned.

Angrboda had not owned any carpets last night. Where did they come from? Frowning, you took in your new surroundings. The blinds were still closed, it would be too dark to make out where you were until your eyes had gotten used to the almost-blackness around you.

You gasped when you bumped into someone’s solid body, stumbling backwards but a few steps—and then biting back your tears of both joy and grief when you recognised Loki standing right before you.

“I thought you…” You shook your head quickly. “Where are we, all of… a… sudden?” He did not need to answer you. You blinked, finally getting used to the lack of brightness. This was your little house in New Asgard.

“What happened? Where is Angrboda? Did you… did you bring us here? But… New Asgard was after…”

Loki smirked, letting you ponder for a few more moments.

“I am offended. Do you not recognise me, my sweet?”

“L-Loki? M-my Loki?”

“In the flesh…” Explanations did not matter, nor did letting him finish. Sobbing uncontrollably, you wrapped your arms around him and held him so tightly your muscles started to shake. It took him some effort to lean back a little to press his lips against yours—a gentle kiss which soon turned into a passionate, desperate battle of love.

Only when you were out of breath did you pull away reluctantly, still grasping his shoulders and looking into those blue eyes you could get lost in.

“You’re back… you’re alive… Loki… I’ve missed you so much…”

“I have missed you too, my sweet. I must admit, I do prefer Midgard over Hel.”

“But… but how? How can you be back? How can you be here?”

Loki smirked once more. “Come. Sit down.” Quickly, you obeyed, impatient for him to explain to you what in the nine realms had happened. You couldn’t stop touching him. Desperately, you reached for his hands, fondling them tenderly as he spoke.

“Angrboda explained it to me like this. I must admit, the Avengers have outdone themselves. When they took the various Infinity Stones from different moments in the past, they created separate timelines, one for each stone—and one in which I… or much rather… another version of me… could escape—with you.”

You nodded, eagerly. You loved the way he explained things. Loki’s voice was incredibly soothing. Even more so now that he told you the story of how he had cheated death yet again and come back to you.

“They succeeded. Thanos is gone.” He went on relieved. “But they had to return the stones to their respective timelines. Now… when they did that, each of the created timelines, including the one you had gotten trapped in, re-converged with the one you came from. The one in which I… died. And since the timeline was altered and I got away instead of being taken back to Asgard, I existed… twice.”

“But… you were dead.” You breathed.

“That I was. But I am also a god, my sweet. I continued to exist in Hel.” Only now did his words sink in. Loki did not go to Valhalla despite his heart-breaking sacrifice for Thor. He had been damned to spend his afterlife in Helheim. Quickly, you blinked your tears away.

“As there cannot exist two versions of one person at the same time—not in different time periods—when the timelines re-converged, so did I.”

“W-what does that mean?”

“My two timelines melted together. It means I lived two different lives. I have memories of meeting you that day… and I have memories of being sentenced by Odin. I died but I also… didn’t.”

“B-but… but how are you here? In New Asgard? I mean, you couldn’t have known where I was or… and how am I here? How did I not remain stuck in 2012?”

“Thanks to Angrboda. She indeed found a way to send you back when the timelines re-converged.” He paused, letting you recall how she had known who you were. “I knew we were headed to Midgard before Thanos attacked our ship. I knew where Thor intended to settle down. All I had to do was find you. You never left this place.” He said, knowingly. Still crying, you leaned forward and pulled him into another kiss.

You had missed him. You had missed him so much it physically hurt. His touch, his presence, his scent, his mischievous smirk. Sighing, you enjoyed his hands rubbing your back soothingly. Your Loki… you had your Loki back.

“I love you, my sweet (Y/N)…” He breathed into your mouth. It was one of those rare, cherished moments Loki voiced his feelings for you—he did not do so often. Not anymore. But he did when he was with you.

“I believe I gave you a promise.” He mumbled when he pulled away, caressing your cheek and smirking naughtily as he did. You grinned through your tears, realising with a start that you were going to be a bride. “And I want to marry you right now.” That you could be happy again. That everything was fine.

A/N: You remember Tom’s words? That everything’s fine? Honestly, I’m not sure how logical my time travel theory is but that’s something I’d love for to happen. I hope this “little” story helped a little. ♥

If you liked this story, I would be flattered if you supported me on KoFi! ko-fi.com/sserpente

[lost-in-zembla]

Disco Elysium or: How I learned to Stop Wallowing and Love the Game

I will now review a videogame. No real spoilers. Just very vague descriptions below.

My writing this is uncharacteristic of me. I find most writing surrounding the video game industry to be repugnant. The industry (including the media surrounding that industry) relies upon the subsumption of subcultures on the fringe into the very center of the infernal machine where the dedicated and nostalgic nature of its fanbase can be exploited for capital. It’s the same process that produces Iron Man Funko Pops. Call me a jaded and pretentious pseudointellectual poseur, but in the case of Marvel the idea that this fucking billion dollar franchise with the biggest actors in the world somehow retains this guise of this ‘geek’ subculture is disturbing to me.

(If you have played the game Disco Elysium, then you can probably already see part of why I enjoy it so goddamn much.)

I don’t mean we should gatekeep. My point is the media attached to these quote-geek-unquote industries wants to milk the same cash cow (e.g. 10 AWESOME THINGS IN THE LAST OF US 2!) Coming from an academic environment of criticism, I crave at least the appearance of an honest and thorough critique of art. In my experience, you really need to go past the surface to find any reliable ‘takes’ on contemporary videogames. That being said, there’s a lot of good work being done in the form of video essays.

In any case, I play videogames relatively often. Competitive shooters, mostly. But I suffer no story in videogames. Why would I? I read the most *genius* pieces of literature in the English language. I’m too *good* for that. So when I heard all the buzz about Disco Elysium last fall, it fell on deaf ears. Detectives? Disco? Isometry? Story-heavy. Ugh. I’m interested in none of that. But about a week ago, a friend of mine bought the game. Unlike me, he is a real adult with a real job so it was just a whim on his part, I believe. I looked at the game and, with Steam’s lax refund policy in mind, I bought it. In the past week I have put approximately thirty hours into this game. This review is a way for me to explore my own thoughts surrounding the game, thoughts that I didn’t include in my steam review (See below.)

So it was devastating, sure. And this devastation was somehow positive. One thing that I would like to make clear about me talking about this game is that it is fucking useless. Disco Elysium possesses that quality that exists in all great art; it is irreducible. When I try to explain this game to my friends, I find that my words fail to describe what’s so great about the game. Let me give you the elevator review I’ve come up with. *This game has allowed me to explore the breadth of human experience*. It’s an absolutely insane thing to say about a game. The writing, the art style, the story, the world, the RPG gameplay, they all work together to create a kind of experience that I have never encountered in a piece of art before aside from those few, fleeting moments when you feel as though you truly *get* an encyclopedic novel you’re reading (and in my case I usually don’t get it.)

I will not delve too deeply into the mechanics of the game. There are probably plenty of articles and videos that describe the game already. Put simply, the game is about choices. You can choose to solve the murder however you want. You can say absolutely batshit things to people. You can say mildly bemusing things. You can speak apocalyptic prophesies, espouse communism, conservatism, Moralism. race science.. There are moments when you genuinely *feel* like you can say anything, which is quite a feat when you really only have a few dialogue options at any given moment.

As you’ve noticed, this is not a review of the videogame. Playing this game after a tough breakup was sort of earth-shattering. I mean, not only am I navigating through a strange virtual world with its own history and culture and cosmological makeup, I’m diegetically grieving over being left by my *divinely* beautiful ex while I, the player, undergo a similar process and find similar coping mechanisms. Playing this game was like knowing the funniest clown in the world, a clown so funny that you thank him when he occasionally punches you in the chest to make you *feel things*.

The plan wasn’t to make a character whose qualities reflected my own. I just wanted to play the game. I wanted to win. It just so happened that because *I* was the one playing the game, the character essentially turned into me. It doesn’t help that I, too, have had my issues with alcohol, drugs, commitment, and mental health (in no particular order). The character ended up becoming *me* in a way that I’d never experienced before. I faced ethical dilemmas. My ideology was shaken. This game achieves unbelievable mimesis.

Here’s the wild thing: this game has changed me. I feel like a thirteen-year-old white boy who just watched The Boondock Saints and got a pretty okay over-the-pants handjob at the same time. I’m thinking about my life in terms of choices. The game enforces a kind of perspective of the world that highlights its contingency and the permanence of choices. You can, of course, save your progress in the game and reload whenever, but I found myself just sort of riding out the bad choices I made unless they were game-ruiningly catastrophic. (E.g. I had a “thought” equipped that made me fail every unrepeatable *red* check during a pivotal firefight; it was a hilarious disaster. We were essentially mowed down.) I stood by most of my bad choices. After all, I made the choice using the information I had at the time.

I am not good at this game. I absolutely bungled the investigation. I was just a pawn for forces far greater than myself. Seven people died, and I know that I could’ve saved a few of those people, if not all of them. I think about it sometimes. I think about what I could have done, how I could have gone deeper to find out what’s *really* going on, how I could take control of the investigation rather than be taken control of. Maybe I’ll play the game through again, but the first playthrough is kind of magical if you know absolutely nothing about the game like I did. If not for an absolute deus ex machina at the end, I would have been taken to the madhouse. It would have been an unbelievable failure.

During that deus ex machina moment, by the way, a goddamn tear rolled down my cheek. Yeah, I’m in a rough place, personally. But I don’t *cry* over characters in art. They’re not real. But damn if that changed.  I tell you it’s changed *me*. I care more for characters. I know they’re not real but they represent something that I can relate to, no matter who they are. This game has made me think about empathy more. Maybe it’s because I dumped all my points in the emotional skills. Maybe I’d be more violent if I rolled with the physical skills. Maybe I’d feel like a superstar if that’s what I chose to pursue in the game. Disco Elysium feels open-ended enough that if you sign up for the story, the aesthetic, and the investigation itself, then you can get whatever you want out of the experience. The game, again, achieves incredible mimesis.

The mimesis is so convincing in Disco Elysium that it feels as open-ended as reality, with one caveat: you *know* it's a game. You, as a player, know that the experience of Disco Elysium is a designed one, that it was created as a sort of origami structure, that there is narrative and, god help us, *meaning*. What this game-knowledge afforded me during my playthrough was the constant sensation of synchronicity. I found myself saying “I don’t know how this element will fold into the grand structure of the game, and it almost seems impossible that it should become part of the investigation narrative.” But because I know it’s a game, I am graced with the confidence of the highly religious. Everything will come together in the end.

This is not a review for a videogame. This is a confession. I am deeply flawed and I want to change that. My worldview has been shaken because of a videogame. I don’t want to be that kind of animal anymore.

I’m trying to empower myself, to become more aware that my choices do indeed matter, have always mattered. I’m trying to be more pragmatic, to consider the things I want to do in terms of their result rather than the momentary pleasure I will derive from doing them. Now *that’s* a change for me. 

I’m trying to be more empathetic, more willing to imagine the perspectives of others. 

I am trying to give the world around me the benefit of the doubt. It is easy for me to think of the world as a random coincidence of matter, but if you look at the world with totality in mind everything seems to take on this Spinozan glow of divinity. The human mind is a meaning-making machine, I think. If I look at the world as fundamentally devoid of meaning, then that is still meaning. It is nihil-ism. It’s still an -ism. But if I ascribe to the world a kind of glowing potential, as though meaning were to be found in every speck of matter, then I feel invited to participate in this massive dance that we’re all a part of. 

I’m trying to be more adventurous, because beneath the surface of things there seems to be a vast network of relationships, causation, possibility and, god help me, *story*. Or maybe it’s not beneath the surface of things, maybe there is no Deleuzian schizophrenic depth beneath the surface, perhaps the world is a homogenous and ever-developing surface upon which I constellate meaning and, thereby, create it. I’m trying to create a story for myself that will hold a candle to my experience playing Disco Elysium. I didn’t ask for this; it was just what I needed. It was, in a word, unforgettable.