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#c!ro seems like a very sad man
anonymous-dentist · 1 year
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Hi, I loved your c!roier x q!cellbit fic and I am happy that you are planning a sequel. Can I ask what was on c!roier mind while he was possessing q!roier body?
Okay, let me try and explain this as best I can without writing an alternate pov fic:
Chafaland is destroyed by this point in c!Roier's life. He just chose to stay behind just in case his child stopped being lost. He couldn't leave Sally 2, could he?
But then he gets Yoinked and stuck into another body in another dimension, swapping places with q!Roier, who has to sit in a destroyed Chafaland by himself surrounded by blood and aged and broken Baby Things for four days. But this isn't about him
c!Roier is very confused, but the first thing he really notices is the ring on his finger, and then there's the attractive man literally falling into his arms with a matching ring, and c!Roier fell in love at first sight
Roier's a smart guy in any universe, and c!Roier already had some experience with spells and rituals, so c!Roier figured out really quickly that he ended up in another dimension. He knew that he didn't belong, but he could tell that Cellbit didn't know. And that was perfect, actually! Because that meant that they were married! (Because that's definitely how that works)
c!Roier was so wrapped up in this fantasy domestic life he'd literally stumbled into that he never even noticed Cellbit figuring out what happened. He was so happy for the first time in... ever. He had finally gotten his happily ever after, even if it's technically not his
But c!Roier got around any possible moral problems by going "Well, I am Roier. So his happy ending is my happy ending!" and moving on before he could think too hard about it
But when he realized Cellbit was trying to send him back, c!Roier wasn't even angry. He realized that he couldn't be, because this was Roier's husband, the og Roier. Of course this Roier got to be married and happy, he deserved it. c!Roier didn't. He was going to be alone forever and ever
But then q!Cellbit told him that he should find his Cellbit. His Cell, Cellbo, Cellbit, whatever, and now he's hopeful for the first time in years and years and he's going to get married and they'll have a happy family and he'll name their child Sally 3 and it'll be a happily ever after
(Meanwhlie q!Roier comes back and is like. Goddamn, babe, that was one hell of a nightmare. I dreamed I was emo. And Cellbit just had to nod like "Yes ofc guapito ofc it was... just a dream...")
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pressplay-if · 1 month
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im on my knees begging u for zima's nsfw alphabet🥹🥹🥹🥹(also hope you're having a lovely day! love the IF so far!)
Alright alright haha. I've had a bunch of ppl begging for Zima's version now; don't worry, I hear y'all, I was just busy.
To preface: Zima would act very different with the MC as opposed to any other partner, so all these answers basically only apply to MC. With others, Zima is way less affected. Also, this is the longest of the RO alphabets, because Zima and MC's relationship is by far the most variable out of all of them.
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Depends. If it's a hatefuck, Zima is just gonna zip up, f!Zima maybe lingering for a second to redo her makeup, but won't say a word. They'll be too overwhelmed to talk. They're seething, but they're also really disappointed in themself and just plain scared. So no, there'll be no cuddling, no pillow talk, nothing.
If the hookup happens after a truce has been achieved between Zima and MC, they won't be as angry, but still really overwhelmed and sad. I don't want to go into what Zima would be like in an actual relationship too much bc there's so much that needs to happen in the story for them to get to that point that it'd make this answer highly spoilery.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Zima fluctuates between feeling incredibly sexy and absolutely hating everything about themselves. Sometimes, f!Zima loves her slight abs, other times she's downright scared they make her look like a man. Sometimes, she adores her large ass, other times, she thinks it makes her look fat. M!Zima loves his muscles and towering over people, but it only takes one bad memory to resurface and suddenly, he hates how heavy he is and wishes he was more toned and graceful. It's a constant up and down.
In a partner, Zima likes just about anything. It's always different things that draw them to someone. Fun fact: They actually like bigger stomachs, butts, etc., even though they're deadly afraid of having one themselves. They love smackable parts xD of course, it's not a requirement. Zima always finds sth else to be drawn to. To them, any person can be hot.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
It's a big shrug. Zima thinks cumming is overrated.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
No secret of their own, but here's a plot point that kind of fits and might be cool to know: as the band's rise goes on, Zima turns into a sex symbol. They openly enjoy this.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
They are the most experienced out of all the ROs!! DEFINITELY knows what they're doing.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Anything that has the other person lying down and Zima above them. Zima likes being in control, and watching the other person react to whatever they're doing. This might be different with the MC if it's a hatefuck. Zima might turn MC over to face away from them in that case.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Not humorous whatsoever. They're serious to the point of seeming methodical.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
F!Zima waxes her legs and bikini zone, like, religiously. She prefers this over shaving because the wax makes it so the hairs come back soft and not stubbly, and she has a high threshold for pain.
M!Zima has a lot of soft body hair which he rather likes, but he does shave his chest sometimes, because he sometimes goes onstage shirtless and oiled up to show off his muscles, and the oil makes the chest hair look all weird.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
messyyyy.... so messyyyy. It's too complicated to really describe; you'll have to wait and see how it is in the game.
BUT with a partner that's not the MC, Zima's pretty detached.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
They masturbate a lot, and they love using toys on themself.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
They like being in charge, and they like having the other person beg. Also they love using toys on the other person.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
A bed.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Could be anything! With the MC tho, it's mainly strong emotions. When they harmonize or sing into the same mic, Zima could melt right into a puddle. When they fight and tension is rising, there's a part in the back of Zima's mind that makes them want to tear their own clothes off right then and there.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Pretend like everything's alright and this is healthy.
[Okay guys I accidentally clicked "post" way too soon so Imma post the other letters separately. Sorry ;-;]
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micia-posts-stuff · 4 years
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Christmas levihan where they're both stuck in the town they work at so they decide to have dinner together at his place bc it's better than being alone and discover they actually do like each other 👀
For the first time in her life Hanji was going to spend Christmas alone. Usually during the holidays she would go back home and spend time with her parents, but because of a snowstorm, they had to cancel every flight for some days. She knew that was the right thing to do, but nonetheless she was upset about not being able to celebrate with her parents that year. Not only that, but every friend she had in that town was able to leave before the storm came, well every friend except one. And so there she were, alone in her apartment during Christmas Eve, texting Levi, one of her coworkers, hoping that he would accept her suggestion of spending Christmas together. Most people wouldn't have even tried, since Levi wasn't a very sociable person, but Hanji had always been particularly optimistic and so she had decided to give it a shot.
-Big Bro are ... sure... can't visit?-
Damn it, not only that stupid weather didn't allow Isabel and Furlan to come visit him for Christmas, but it was also disturbing the signal of the videocall, Levi was barely able to understand what the girl was trying to say. Well at least he was able to be in a videocall, he had spent the last hour trying to contact them, but the signal kept disappearing.
-No, they say the planes won't be available for another couple of days, for safety measures.-
-But tom... is... Birthday!-
-Ma... I c... try use... car- suggested Furlan.
-No, it's too risky, don't worry about me. Enjoy your Christmas-
Despite the bad internet connection, the sadness on their faces was clear.
-Buy you... spend y... birthd.... alone! -
-Really, it's ok-
-I... not o...- protested Isabel from the other side of the screen.
It hurted Levi to see Isabel so disappointed, but there wasn't much he could do. Since they were children she had always done her best to make sure he could enjoy his birthday, she said it was to thank Levi for all he had done for her and, despite Levi repeating again and again that it wasn't necessary, every year she prepared something special.
In that moment Levi phone started vibrating. The man glanced over it and read the message he had just received.
-Would it be better if I had some company?- asked with his eyes still on his phone screen.
-...mpany?-
-One of my coworkers asked me if I want to spend Christmas with her-
-Who?- asked Furlan out of curiosity.
-Hanji-
-T... candy lady! Y... should acce...- shouted Isabel enthusiastically
Isabel and Furlan met Hanji only a couple of times when they came to visit him. The brunette left a really good impression on Isabel, thanks to a bag of candy that she gifted her to get on her good side. For some reason Isabel seemed jealous of Hanji the first time they met, she even asked Levi if they were dating, Levi never understood where she got that idea from.
-See? Don't worry about me.-
Isabel face became sad again, she was happy Levi wasn't gonna spend his birthday alone, but she was still upset she couldn't see him.
-O... bye b... ...ro-
-Bye L... ...ve fun- added Furlan.
-Bye- as he said that the call ended, apparently the storm decided to close the call on his behalf.
Levi sighed, picked up the phone and answered Hanji.
Come to my apartment tomorrow at 5 pm
Hanji let out a scream of joy, it seemed like she wasn't gonna spend Christmas alone after all.
The next day the weather was slightly better, but at the tv they said it was going to get worse later. Hanji wore a warm coat and hurried towards Levi's house.
Levi let out an exasperated sigh. How was it possible that the weather was better, but the connection was even worse than the previous day? He wasn't even able to send a message to Furlan and Isabel. Levi looked at the time, he needed to clean the house before Hanji arrived, even if a normal person would have already defined it spotless.
While he was cleaning he started thinking about the person that was coming later. Despite never planning for it, the two of them often found themselves alone outside work, mostly because they lived not too far from each other, so they had often come back together after hanging out with their colleagues. Hanji was probably the person he was the closest to at work, but considering Levi's standards, they weren't too close. Still, thinking about it, Levi was surprised the brunette was the coworker that he had spent most time with. She was loud, eccentric and dirty, not the type of person Levi would normally choose to spend his time with, and yet the woman managed to put him at ease. Maybe that's why he didn't mind spending Christmas with her, well better than being alone anyway.... He thought, but then he stopped a moment. He, Levi Ackerman, actually preferred spending his time with someone, than being by himself? While he was thinkin that the doorbell rung.
-Merry Christmas!!- exclaimed the brunette as soon as he opened the door.
-Take off your shoes, you can leave the coat there-
-Roger that!-
Hanji took off her coat and followed Levi.
-I've never seen the inside of your apartment, it's lovely!-
-Thanks-
-And seems like I was right about you being a cleanfreak ahah-
-Uh?-
-I noticed your desk at work is always perfectly clean and in order-
-The same thing can't be said about yours...-
-Ahahah you noticed uh? But you see, mine is an organized chaos-
-Suuuure. Anyway sit there I'm going to start cooking-
-Already?-
-It's Christmas right? Aren't people supposed to have a big meal or something? Food doesn't cook itself-
-Let me help! We can cook together-
-You're not gonna blow up my kitchen right?-
-It only happened one time! I needed the office boiler for an experiment!-
-Yeah but because of that I need to heat my tea at home and by the time I'm at the office it's already cold-
-I'm sorry ahah, if you told me I would have offered you a hot beverage from the vending machine-
-Disgusting. Tea has to be done a certain way.-
-Are you some kind of tea expert?-
-No, it's just...-
-Hm?-
-Nothing, forget about it. Let's get cooking-
-Oh...- now Hanji was curious.
While Hanji was preparing the stew, Levi started assemble the appetizers. Hanji looked at him moving skillfully in the kitchen. His black locks were covering his eyes, but Hanji didn't miss the little sparkles that appeared in them every time a dish turned out the exact way he wanted.
-Hey, stay focused on the dish!-
-Oh right! I was just very curious, you seem like an expert!-
Levi glanced at what Hanji was making.
-Yours isn't so bad either-
-Not so bad? C'mon shorty you can do better than that!-
Levi stopped a moment. He didn't have a particularly friendly face and he knew it, add to that his rude manners and as a result people were usually scared of him. But it seemed like Hanji wasn't even remotely intimidated and he would have lied to himself if he didn't admit that it was a breath of fresh hair.
-Tch maybe if you cleaned those things you would have made a better dish, shitty glasses-
-Ahahaha, that's a pretty creative nickname I have to say, ok ok I admit my defeat- said Hanji laughing out loud. Levi looked at her happy face and felt his mouth twitch upward a little. He was staring a little bit longer that he intended and Hanji noticed it. Their eyes met for an instant before both of them looked away and returned to what they were doing, ignoring that weird feeling they both felt in that brief moment.
The food was ready by 7 pm and they decided to start eating. Everything was delicious, they did a very good job.
-Do you want some tea?-
-Am I really gonna taste the divine tea prepared by the famous Levi??- said Hanji jokingly.
-Tch you want it or not?-
-Obviously, this is once in a lifetime opportunity!-
Levi rolled his eyes and went in the kitchen. While he was gone his phone vibrated. Hanji glanced unconsciously at the screen and ran towards the kitchen.
-LEVI WHY YOU DIDN'T TELL ME???-
-Oi, don't shout like that, what happened?-
-WHY YOU DIDN'T TELL ME IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY???- said Hanji while showing Levi the screen of his phone, where the message from Isabel had just appeared.
-Oh, the connection is back.-
-Don't ignore my question!-
-Well, I didn't think we were that close. Do you know the birthday of every person that works with you?-
-Well no, but I know the birthdays of every coworker that I'm friend with!-
-And I'm included?-
-Of course you are! I should have bought you something! Tell me, there's something you'd like? I don't usually ask for people what they want for their birthday, I rather surprise them, but this is an emergency-
Levi stopped for a second. Until that day the only people Levi considered friends were Furlan and Isabel and he thought nobody else considered him their friend either. Thinking about it Hanji was very friendly with him, but she was very friendly with everyone, so he never thought much of it. Was he wrong?
-You don't need to give me anything-
-I insist!-
-Alright alright, I'll let you know if I want something-
-Perfect!- said Hanji with a smiley face.
They say down at the table and started drinking tea.
-Was Isabel and Furlan the ones you were supposed to spend your birthday with?-
-You remember them?-
-Of course I do. Are they your childhood friends?-
-They are family-
-Uh? You don't look nothing alike-
-Not that type of family.-
-Oh- Hanji looked at Levi, for some reason he had a sad expression on his face -Hey did something happen?- asked Hanji placing a hand on top of his. A shiver run down Levi's spine, he looked at the woman and sighed.
-They were the only ones by my side when my mom died.- he looked at the cup he was drinking from and a small sad smile appeared on his lips -she was the one who taught me how to make tea-
-Oh, I'm sorry to hear about that...-
Levi looked at Hanji. That was the first time he talked about that with someone that wasn't Isabel and Furlan.
-Don't make that face, feeling sad about the past is useless anyway-
Hanji was starting to understand Levi. He wasn't insensitive as most people might think, he just kept everything inside. -Maybe so, but if you need to talk to something you can come to me ok?-
They were in silence for a couple of seconds, looking at each other, her hands still on top of his. It felt warm... But in that moment something crashed on Levi's window.
-What was that!?-
-Ice. Seems like the weather is getting worse- answers Levi who went at the window to check.
-I should probably hurry up and leave then, it could last for hours-
-Oi, where are you going? It's dangerous outside, it's better if you stay here-
-Are you sure? I don't want to disturb too much, you were already kind enough to invite me here.-
-Don't be an idiot, I won't let you go out during a storm-
-Alright, thank you then-
They finished their tea and then they moved to the couch to watch a movie while they waited for the storm to end. It was getting cold, so they decided to share a blanket. They needed to be pretty close to fit both under it, yes it was because of the blanket they were sitting so close, no other reasons, just the blanket...
The two of them waited, but the weather didn't give any sing of improvement.
-Seems like it's going to continue all night- said Hanji when it was starting to get late.
Levi got up and went in another room. Hanji heard the sound of water coming from the bathroom. He came back some time later with some clothes in his hands.
-What are those for?-
-A pijama for you, you're gonna sleep here obviously and you should also take a bath.-
-A bath?? Here? You're joking right?-
-Hygiene is important wherever you go and it seems like you need one.-
-Ahahaha, you're very direct, are you?-
-I thought you picked that up by now-
-You're right, you're right-
Hanji went to take the bath Levi prepared for her and when she came out she found Levi bringing some pillows on the sofa.
-Aww thank you Levi, you should't have-
-What are you talking about four eyes? These are for me-
-Wait, if you sleep on the couch where do I sleep??-
-On the bed obviously, I thought you were smart.-
-What? No absolutely not! I'm not taking your bed, I'll sleep on the sofa.-
-Well too late, I'm already here- Levi said while he lay down on the couch.
-Hey!- Hanji rushed towards Levi and put her hand under him in an attempt of lifting him up.
-What are you...- few moments later Hanji was carrying Levi towards the bedroom bride style. -Wait! What? How??-
-Don't underestimate me shorty- Hanji dumped Levi on the bed and rushed towards the living room, lying the spot previously occupied by Levi, who reached her shortly after.
-Really?-
-Too late, I'm already here- said Hanji smiling.
Levi sighed -You know I can also lift you up right?-
-Yeah yeah, I saw those biceps-
-What?-
-Nothing.-
-Alright you left me no choice: I want you to sleep in the bed as my birthday present-
-Hey that's unfair!- shouted Hanji sitting up.
-You asked me if there was anything I would like-
-You're twisting my words!!!-
-Do you want to disappoint me the day of my birthday?-
-You sly shorty-
-A sly shorty whose birthday is today- said Levi grinning.
-Urgh fine! But you're gonna sleep in the bed too!-
Levi's checks became red and after a second of silence Hanji started blushing as well.
-What?- asked Levi breaking the silence.
-I-it's my Christmas wish, you haven't bought me a present right? So I get a wish.-
-The stores are close because of the storm.-
-Well that's not a good reason-
-You didn't get me a Christmas present either-
-Alright you get a Christmas wish too then-
Levi thought of asking to just sleep on the sofa while she stayed in the bed, but did he really want that?
-Let me dry your hair-
-Uh?-
-It's still wet from the bath-
-Oh... Sure... -
They were sitting on the couch, Hanji was bending forward hugging her knees, while Levi was behind her with his legs off the couch and his torso twisted towards the woman. His fingers traveled in her hair while he was drying it. It was incredibly soft. Levi looked at the brown locks with a bronze shade while he listened to the melody Hanji was unconsciously humming. A way better wish than the sofa.
-Hey- interrupted her after a while -you don't really need to sleep with me if you don't want to-
-It's ok- he said with a monotonous voice.
She turned around surprised and then smiled -Ok then-
They were lying back to back in the bed. They felt warm and they weren't sure if it was because of the blanket.
-Hey- whispered Hanji in the dark.
-What?-
-If there's a storm during easter we could celebrate together-
-We don't need a storm to spend time together-
-Uh?-
The man paused for a moment -I mean, we could hang out sometimes...-
Hanji turned around to face Levi's back -like a date?-
Levi also turned around -would it be ok if it was a date?-
Hanji smiled, Levi could barely see the reflection on her theet and her big brown eyes -Absolutely-
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hklunethewriter · 4 years
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But seriously, why do I never hear about Irene Iddesleigh around the Internet? It’s practically The Room of late Victorian literature! I have to tell y'all about this book. See here:
Got published because Amanda McKittrick Ros’s (the author’s) doting husband paid for it, but not for the “I want to have more control over publication/don’t need the traditional system” reasons—no, she simply thought her writing was too amazing for that
Mark Twain called it “one of the greatest unintentionally humorous novels of our time”
C. S. Lewis and J. R. R. Tolkien would deadass have reading parties where whoever could go the longest without laughing won
“Hope is like a shimmering oaken ship on the turbulent seas of discord, fear, and impertinence, cast by the hollow winds of despair. The sun’s rays of goodness and victory tumble down from the heavens, but lo! The clouds of uncertainty beat them back as though"—ALMOST EVERY PARAGRAPH IS LIKE THIS. Metaphors and similes and alliterations and melodrama is the entire book.
a humorist from that era named Barry Pain (lmao) called it the book of the century. At first he found it funny, but then apparently he “shrank before it in tears and terror”
When Ros read what Pain said, she called him a “clay crab of corruption” and then claimed he did it because he was secretly in love with her (my gosh. her mind)
And for all that, it’s not even just the outrageously
🌌 purple prose 🌌
that’s the whole issue here. The plot is basically just
Act I: I’m going to willingly marry a man I hate, and I hate him because he isn’t my secret lover >:(
Act II: I hate him even more each day but we have a kid, oh and I’m having an emotional affair with my secret lover
Act III: husband discovers affair and locked me in a “cursed” room for a year (Charlotte Brontë is literally shaking) but I escape to America with my lover. Huh? I have a child? Never heard of him
Act IV: I somehow legally marry my lover in America and will live there the next fifteen years, but whoops! Suddenly he’s super bad with money and also a drunk and abuser and hits me and then dies by suicide
Act V: I go back to England. Nobody recognizes me even though I’m, like, 35, but they all hate my guts and love my dead husband. My son got the whole story from his dad and hates me the most. I’m sad. I walk to a cottage my lover used to use and literally drop dead. The end
So if you’re looking for something ridiculous to read and be entertained by, I can heartily recommend Irene Iddesleigh. It’s about 100 pages, so it isn’t a slog (somehow)—I read it in an afternoon. You can read it storybook style here or find it over at Project Gutenberg. It’s what Tolkien and Lewis would want.
In case you aren’t convinced yet, though, allow me to show you.
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Until now he was inclined to be prejudiced against the snares and allurements of women, but he strongly resolved to try gradually and abandon every unkind thought harboured in his mind against them, fearing lest all his conjured imaginations were both unjust and selfish; and determined to drown them for ever in the clashing gulf of fate, felt a prouder and happier mortal than before.
But time would solve the problem and heal the wound which penetrated so deeply his bosom. Yea, a short time he hoped would bring his creeping fever of endearment under the binding stay of appointed authority, and heal its weakening effects with the sacred salve of truth.
Aka “my long-worn misogyny has just been reversed by a pretty woman”
Great
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Chapter IV: When on the eve of glory, whilst brooding over the prospects of a bright and happy future, whilst meditating upon the risky right of justice, there we remain, wanderers on the cloudy surface of mental woe, disappointment and danger, inhabitants of the grim sphere of anticipated imagery, partakers of the poisonous dregs of concocted injustice. Yet such is life.
Chapter VIII: A word of warning tends to great advantage when issued reverently from the lips of the estimable. It serves to allay the danger pending on reticence, and substantiates in a measure the confidence which has hitherto existed between the parties concerned. Again, a judicious advice, extended to the stubborn and self-willed, proves futile, and incurs the further malice and fiery indignation of the regardless, the reckless, and the uncharitable.
Chapter XIII: It is astounding to view the smallest article through a magnifying glass; how large and lustrous an atom of silver appears; how fat and fair the withered finger seems; how monstrously mighty an orange; how immeasurably great the football of youth; but these are as nought when the naked eye beholds the boulder of barred strength—a mountain of mystery.
Every chapter has a paragraph like this. I won’t spoil them for you.
Such is life.
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“My dearest and much beloved, I assure you your remarks have astounded me not a little! Your words sting like a wasp, though, I am quite convinced, unintentionally. You are well aware that within a short period I will be marked  out publicly as mistress of Dunfern mansion—an honour revered in every respect by me; an honour to which I at one time dare never aspire; an honour coveted by many much more worthy than I, whose parentage is as yet bathed in the ocean of oblivious ostentation, until some future day, when I trust it shall stand out boldly upon the brink of disclosure to dry its saturated form and watery wear with the heat of equality. You are about to place me in a position which cannot fail to wring from jealousy and covetousness their flaming torch of abuse. Yes, Sir John, on me you have not ceased to lavish every available treasure and token of your unbounded love. You have been  to me not only a loyal admirer, but a thoroughly upright and estimable example of life’s purest treasures. You have resolved to place me by your side as your equal, whilst wealth in boundless store is thirsting for your touch. You have elevated my unknown position to such a pitch as to defy taunt or jeer, and at any time if I may have, seemingly, ignored your advances, it was purely want of thought, and not through any underhand motive or scheme whatever.
“I assure you your allusion to my verbal answer last night is very pronounced, and may be overlooked on the ground of pure disappointment. Our time of singleness  is now short, and begging your forgiveness for my seeming neglect or indifference, I hope the tide, which until now has flown so gently, may not be stayed on the eve of entering the harbour of harmony, peace, and love.”
At the commencement of Irene’s answer of lavishing praises and flimsy apologies, her affianced moved to the opposite corner of the rustic building to scan the features of her he wholly worshipped and reluctantly doubted. Every sentence the able and beautiful girl uttered caused Sir John to shift his apparently uncomfortable person nearer and nearer, watching at the same time minutely the divine picture  of innocence, until at last, when her reply was ended, he found himself, altogether unconsciously, clasping her to his bosom, whilst the ruby rims which so recently proclaimed accusations and innocence met with unearthly sweetness, chasing every fault over the hills of doubt, until hidden in the hollow of immediate hate.
Ros is so close to being self-aware at the start of the last paragraph here, but then it’s lost in the same circular language found throughout. Ah, well.
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britishassistant · 4 years
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But I Like One Piece (5)
Naruto is not being helpful.
At all.
“Make him the orange curry.” He says. “I heard he loves curry, believe it.”
“You mean the chicken tikka masala, which you described as ‘fire in food form’?” She asks wryly.
He points a dramatic finger at her. “YOU ADMIT IT!”
“Inside voice please, Naruto-kun!” Okaa-sama calls from the other room.
“Sorry Mayu’s Okaa-san!” He calls back. “But yeah, you should make him eat the fire curry, believe it.”
She sighs. “I’m not gonna make him eat the ‘fire curry’. I’m not sure if I’m gonna make him any food yet.”
She looks up when he scoffs, but continues, “...I don’t know if he needs it or not—whether he’s going have a live-in caretaker, or go into the Orphanage with Lee or what. I’ll wait until he comes back to the Academy and then we’ll see.”
“S’not what it sounded like last week, believe it.” Naruto grumbles.
He’s sitting on the countertop and banging his heels against the cupboards behind her. Loudly.
She tries counting to ten in her head.
She makes it to seven.
She turns and grabs his ankles. “Look, what’s this about?”
“Nothin’! Leggo!” He scowls and tries to tug his legs out of her grip.
She wraps her arms around them to prevent his escape, scowling right back.
“You weren’t like this when I fed Sakura and Lee, or shared food with Kiba and Chouji.” She points out, tightening her grip to stop him from kneeing her in the chin on accident. “What’s so special about Uchiha?”
“Everyone thinks he’s special!” He yells, going red in the face. “They’re all like ‘oh, isn’t it sad he’s all alone’, like I wasn’t alone too!! I’m sorry his family died, but I never knew mine!! I never had mine!! And no–nobody e-ev-ever told me ‘sorry your parents are gone’ or c-c-cared about—about me being all on my own, except Jiji an’ Teuchi an’ Ayame an’ you an’ Okaa-san an’ Otou-san, an’—a-an’—”
She watches, horrified, as fat tears slide faster down his face. “An’—an’ now you’re gonna make food f’r him, and you’re gonna like him better’n me, jus’ like Jiji does, an’ you won’t wanna be my friend any-any—”
She pinches his arm sharply, ignoring his pained yelp.
“Don’t.” She threatens, swallowing around a lump in her throat. “Don’t you dare spout that nonsense around me, Uzumaki Naruto, do you understand?! How could you—how could you even think that?!”
“You were gonna give him food.” He sniffs, glaring reproachfully.
“What—you think—you think I just feed people because I wanna be their friend?!” She asks, incredulous and insulted.
Naruto nods, hesitantly.
She drags her hands over her face, ignoring that they come away wet.
“Right. You listen to me Uzumaki, and you listen good. I. Will. Always. Feed. The. Hungry. Even if I hate their guts.”
Naruto blinks, looking slightly alarmed as she rants. “I didn’t even know Sakura’s name when we made that cake together! I just cooked with her because she was hungry. Shit, if my worst enemy were trying to kill me, and couldn’t finish the job because they were starving, I would feed them. Maybe with foods they hate, but I’d still feed them. Because I am a bloody professional and those who let people go hungry are scum.”
He startles back as she grabs his knees again. “You are not my friend because I fed you. You are my friend because you stuck around and took me to Ichiraku’s and defended me and you’re nice and funny and gave me a drawing of Luffy and Habu-san and I like you, you little shit. You’re my best friend. I am not replacing you. Not now, not ever. You’re stuck with me, whether you like it or not.”
Naruto gulps, eyes shining bright again and lower lip wobbling.
She sniffs fiercely, ignoring the trembling in her hands.
“Ketsugi Mayu.” Okaa-sama’s voice comes from behind her, and her blood runs cold. “What have I told you about using profanity?”
That’s how she ends up on another week-long ban from cooking.
Naruto tries to make it up to her with a stream of too-tight hugs.
It partly works. Partly.
Otou-sama clicks his tongue at her when he gets home and Okaa-sama tells him what happened, and musses up her hair.
Then he picks up Naruto and spins him around like he used to do to her when she was small, and carries him into the entrance hall to sit on the stairs, the one place in the house where there are no nearby windows.
She tries to listen in while she’s setting the table, standing closer to the door than she really needs to.
“...not for that, you’d be wearing a pelican...” is all she hears before Okaa-sama grabs her shoulder and steers her back into the kitchen.
Naruto’s eyes are swollen again when her father carries him back in for dinner.
Hers and Okaa-sama’s ramen still isn’t as good as Teuchi-sama’s at Ichiraku’s. But Naruto eats it just as quickly, eagerly gulping down the shoyu broth and pouting over-dramatically when there aren’t seconds.
Okaa-sama insists he wash his face before he leaves so his eyes aren’t sore tomorrow.
It’s cutting very close to his curfew when he finally leaves, twisting around to look back at them as he walks down the street.
Okaa-sama and Otou-sama hug her before she goes to bed that night and tell her how proud of her they are.
She returns the embrace greedily, whispering she’s proud of them too.
Sasuke Uchiha doesn’t return to school for another two weeks.
During that time, Kiba managed to insult Shino by repeatedly asking if he was sure his bugs weren’t fleas.
She didn’t understand the comment, until literal insects begin pouring out of Shino’s sleeves and chasing Kiba and Akamaru.
Well, that explained the buzzing.
Ino added to the pandemonium by shrieking so loud she thought her eardrums would burst and swatting a load of the insects in one swipe. Which made Shino howl in pain and turn his wrath on her as well.
The teacher had given them all detention, on the grounds that none of them stopped the incident from happening or went and snitched to him.
She sat between Shino and Sakura and doodled Usopp on the worksheet they were supposed to be working on.
Ino was sandwiched somewhat unwillingly by Chouji and Shikamaru, who were whispering furiously to her. Kiba was in a similar position with Hinata and Naruto.
“That person cannot be real, or you are bad at drawing.” Shino said, peeking at her paper. “Why? Because his nose is impractically long.”
“Shino!” Sakura hissed from her other side. “That’s not very nice!”
“He may not be real, but I like him anyway.” She replied, tapping the pencil against the paper. “His name is Usopp. He’s a pirate sharpshooter who can hit anything with a slingshot.”
“Unlikely. Why? Because a slingshot does not have half the accuracy or firing power of a bow, a shuriken, or a firing arm.”
“For him it does.” She says fondly. “He’s also a coward, but he’s brave when it counts and he loves insects. It’s funny, because they’re just about the one thing he doesn’t run away from.”
“Ah.” Shino says. He takes another, longer look at the drawing.
The next day, Ino and Kiba apologize to Shino with a wounded air.
He nods stiffly, but still flinches away from Ino.
At lunchtime, he sits in between Shikamaru and Chouji, and Ino switches places with her to be at the end of the table, away from him.
She offers him half of an egg and watercress sandwich. He accepts it with a nod.
He lifts his sleeve onto the table.
While everyone else draws in a wary breath, insects, shiny-black and dull brown, crawl out onto the table.
They crawl around and settle down and hold still in a certain pattern. Black ones mimicking waves of curls and dark eyes with long eyelashes. Brown ones outlining a bandana, a jawline and an impractically long nose.
It’s Usopp.
Or the not-very-good drawing of Usopp she showed him yesterday. But still. Usopp.
She grins widely, darting a pleased look up at him.
Shino nods again, the insects breaking formation and trundling back up his sleeve. He begins eating the sandwich.
She looks up to find Ino looking...strangely elated?
Sakura wiggles her eyebrows at her, mouthing ‘we are going to talk’.
She rolls her eyes and tucks into her own lunch.
“Mayu-chan, is it true you’re in love with Shino?!”
Naruto bursts out with this question just as Otou-sama takes a sip of his orange juice at breakfast.
Otou-sama chokes on his juice, and Okaa-sama leans over with a concerned “Anata!” as he coughs, going red in the face.
Gai-sensei stares at her, lower lip wobbling.
Lee just tilts his head at Naruto and goes, “Who is Shino?”
“He’sh the bug guy.” Naruto says with his mouth full, the traitor. “He did Mayu-chan a pishture with bugs.”
Rice falls from her chopsticks and splats onto the table.
“HOW YOUTHFUL!!!” Gai-sensei wails. “Mayu-chan is experiencing the blossoming of ROMANCE!!”
“No.” She says desperately. “I’m not. Really, really not.”
Shino is seven years old. She’s mentally twenty (most of the time) and not a pedophile.
“Ah! Congratulations, Mayu-chan!” Lee beams. “I hope your love is as passionate as the Will of Fire!”
Nami give her patience.
“Naruto, who did you hear this from?” She asks.
Her chopsticks creak in her grip.
“Sakura-chan!” He chirps, pointing an accusing finger at her. “She said you showed him a picture of long-nose-guy who likes bugs after Ino squished his, and then he did the picture in bugs, an’ you were really happy! She called it suuuuuuper ro-man-tick, believe it!”
“He’s not ‘long-nose-guy’.” She seethes, plotting Sakura’s demise. Or not demise. Inconvenient disappearance due to her hair turning green, maybe. “His name is Usopp.”
Okaa-sama kneels in front of her. “Mayu-chan...would you like us to send a request for marriage negotiations to this boy’s family?”
It goes so silent one could hear a pin drop.
“Marriage what.” She wheezes.
Okaa-sama squeezes her hands. “I know it may seem sudden.” She says. “But...with the Ketsugi clan being what it is...”
“What your mother’s trying to say Mayu-chan,” Her father cuts in, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “Is that clans are required to do things certain ways, or else they risk dissolution. Even branches like us. But we want you to be happy. And if you think that you l-love this boy, and that you would enjoy living your life with him...”
Her mouth works soundlessly. Naruto and Lee just look extremely confused.
Gai-sensei has stopped crying, at least. But he’s frowning, bushy brows furrowed.
“Your father and I...we were very lucky with each other.” Okaa-sama smiles softly. “We want you to have that same luck, or better, if you can.”
“You did not have a choice in your love?” Gai-sensei’s voice is strangely soft.
Her parents immediately fluster, going redder than beetroot.
“That’s, um—” Her father stammers. “We, ah—” Her mother squeaks.
“HOW INCREDIBLY YOUTHFUL OF YOU TWO!!!” He yells, tears springing anew to his eyes as he somehow sweeps both of her parents up in a hug. “TO MANAGE TO FIND LOVE IN EACH OTHER WHERE OTHERS ONLY CARED ABOUT OBLIGATION!! I AM OVERWHELMED WITH ADMIRATION FOR YOUR DEVOTION!!”
She can practically see the steam coming out of Otou-sama and Okaa-sama’s ears. That much blood in someone’s face can’t be healthy.
She shoves the last of her rice into her mouth, shooting Naruto a look that has him eating his double-time and helping to feed Lee the remnants of his breakfast while he’s left starry-eyed by the adults’ display.
She scribbles a brief note explaining that no, Shino’s just a friend, there’s no need for any marriage arrangements until she’s at least twenty.
Then she grabs Naruto, Lee, and their bentos, and runs like her life depends on it.
Sakura makes the mistake of waving when she sees them come in through the gate.
Her expression goes from smiling to wary when she sees Mayu drop the two boys and zero in on the pink-haired girl
“Haruno.” She growls. “Run.”
Haruno Sakura runs.
And escapes up into a tree. Which she’s never been very good at climbing.
She scowls and kicks the trunk, wishing it would break.
“Get down here so I can punch you in the shins.” She tells the tree grumpily.
“What?! Why?! I didn’t do anything!!” Sakura’s voice emerges from between the leaves.
“You told Naruto I was in love with Shino.” She hisses.
The tree is suspiciously quiet. “...No I didn’t.”
She raises her eyebrows. “Yeah, pray to Usopp to make you better at lying. Because that one’s awful.”
The tree’s leaves rustle indignantly. “But I didn’t! I was just talking to Ino about how you two would be cute as a couple, and Naruto was eavesdropping!!”
“You told INO?!” That’s it, her life here is over, time to run away to become a pirate before the engagement can be arranged.
“Sakura, I’ve just barely convinced my parents to stop planning marriage negotiations!!” She seethes. “Ino will tell everyone and set back all my progress!!”
There’s a moment of quiet.
Then a strange, high-pitched noise begins emanating from the tree. Across the schoolyard, Akamaru whimpers and buries his head in his paws. It sounds a bit like a dentist’s drill, so it takes her a moment to place it.
“NO!!” She roars, red-faced and pointing an accusing finger at the tree. “STOP SQUEALING! THIS IS NOT SOMETHING TO SQUEAL ABOUT!!”
Sakura does not listen.
She ends up squealing and kicking her little legs so hard she falls out of the tree.
Luckily Lee dives under her, and she considers the expression Sakura makes at realizing exactly who caught her adequate punishment.
It takes her an entire day to sort this mess out.
Ino and Sakura take sadistic joy in her suffering. Lee is confused but supportive. Hinata and Shikamaru stay out of it as much as they can.
Kiba and Naruto exploit it to tease her and Shino for all they’re worth. So does the rest of the class, once they realize they now have prime taunting material.
Hell, even the teacher gets in on it by telling Shino he doesn’t know what he sees in her, and that a kunoichi who wasn’t afraid of hand signs would be a much more suitable match for a clan heir like him.
She gets detention for flipping him off.
Only Shino and Chouji seem to be as upset as she is.
She never realized what a loyal and true friend Chouji was before this.
She needs to appreciate him more.
She brings extra pork belly for him in her lunch the next day, to thank him for not betraying her.
His eyes light up when she gives him the food and a hug, and he eats eagerly.
Shino spends all of that morning with his head on the table. He only turns it to the side when Shikamaru finally pokes him.
“I am contemplating running away.” He says solemnly. “Why? Because my father spent all of yesterday evening trying to reassure me about the rumors surrounding Ketsugi-san and myself and telling me I will be a catch when I am older.”
She grimaces in commiseration. She finally got through to her parents and Gai-sensei, but they had then insisted on telling her similar platitudes all throughout breakfast.
She thought she knew embarrassment. She was wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong.
Out of the corner of her eye, she spots a dark-haired head where there isn’t one normally.
She does a double take.
“Wait,” She asks, throughly confused. “When did Uchiha get back?”
The table freezes. Most of them twist around to confirm that, yes, Uchiha Sasuke is sitting at a desk at the far end of the classroom, glaring at them darkly while eating a tomato slice.
“Yesterday.” Shikamaru says dryly.
He then winces at Ino’s ear-piercing shriek, berating him loudly for not saying something earlier.
That people forget (mostly) about her and Shino is about the only good thing to come from Uchiha Sasuke’s return.
She vaguely remembers him pre-massacre. He seemed alright enough, but he hung out with a different group of people to her and Naruto, so they never interacted much.
Those people appear to be gone now though, given how alone he is now.
This suggests he never had any friends outside of his relatives, which she’ll admit is a bit odd, given how large that group was.
Guess there were more Uchiha in the class than she thought? But that doesn’t feel right...
Point is, he was an okay kid with friends.
Now, he’s...not.
Not for lack of trying of course. She finally understands what Naruto meant by “special”.
Even outside the well-wishers who repeatedly try to convey their condolences, half the girls in the class seem to lose their heads over him as the weeks go on.
Ino in particular begins to sing his praises endlessly, going on about how “aloof” and “cool” he is, to the point where Chouji, patient, kind Chouji, begs her to talk about anything else.
This is why she should’ve been reborn into One Piece. She wouldn’t have had to deal with this romance bullshit in a series where the main character’s asexual.
Sakura just sighs and stares at him, ignorant of how Naruto droops every time she does so.
(She tries to console him with extra food and too-tight hugs. It partly works. Partly.)
Even the teacher uses him as the standard against which all their work is judged, praising his stance in the Academy katas, his precision with throwing weapons, his answers on tests.
To hear others say it, Uchiha Sasuke is a prodigy who’s overcome his trauma through sheer determination and talent.
So why does he keep glowering at their lunchtime group like they’re somehow part of his tragedy?
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alchemist-shizun · 5 years
Text
I Can See My Kingdom Now
Read on Ao3!
Chapter 2: False Hope
Word Count: 4,462
Characters: Virgil, Roman, Logan, Patton.
Pairing(s): Eventual Logicality and Prinxiety. (hints to Royality, they’re forced into an arranged marriage)
Warnings: Minor character death, slight description. Mention of fire.
Summary:  Or of how the author wrote almost 10k words so they had to split up the chapter, Virge is sad, Ro loses things like Cinderella, Lo is done with life and Pat just wants p e a c e for once.
A/N: Some surname explainings from my ao3 notes since they may sound pretty odd: -Moros is the son of the Goddess of the night, Nyx, and he's the personification of inevitable and impending doom. I liked the dark aura. -Bia means brutal strength, I was studying ancient greek tragedy when I found this word and it inspired me. -Pais means boy, son (and also slave but we're leaving that out) and it fit with Patton also because of the alliteration. -Dianoia is a word used in ancient greek by Democritus, Plato and Aristotle and is linked with reasoning and one's way of thinking. (It's actually more complex than that but yeah)
That beign said, hope you enjoy!
❝ Remember me, though I have to say goodbye.
Remember me, don't let it make you cry.
For even if I'm far away I hold you in my heart.
I sing a secret song to you each night we are apart.❞
They did not hear it.
It was no kind of sound conceived for human perception. No kind of delicate melody to be appreciated. No kind of deafening cacophony to be maddened by.
None but the creatures of the sky would sense that crash like shattered glass, none but the creatures of the lakes, the rivers, the seas and the oceans would be troubled upon hearing the forming of an unfading damage in the poor boy's eyes and heart both.
They did not hear it, because when he started breaking down the queen was running toward her son to embrace him fiercely in her arms. They did not hear it because when he let out his first sob the king was tearing up, a hand covering his mouth, repeating “Roman” over and over until the name didn't make sense anymore.
Who the hell was even Roman?
They did not hear it because when he started lamenting under his breath, the crowd went loud with cheering. They did not hear it because the royalty began thanking everyone while he felt hopelessly still and incapable to move.
It was when he understood they were leaving that Virgil found a will to take action as Raegan- Roman? Paced toward the carriage, held endearingly by his parents, the sovereigns of Arcadia, about to disappear forever. An unbearable scene to watch.
They heard him, though, when their cheering was abruptly interrupted by the loud and heavy steps he took while running past the guards. They heard him when he pushed Logan and Patton aside to get to his best friend.
He was not going to leave him alone. They couldn't do that to him. They didn't have any right to rip away people from his life.
They heard him when he yelled as the guards held him still, because they, too, stopped moving in shock.
What he did not hear, though, was the complexion of Roman's feelings ever since he heard the news. First came disbelief, then he looked at Virgil and all he could see was pain. Then everything around him suddenly felt like family, something warm and loving making its way deep down in his guts for the first time in forever. He saw smiles and tears.
He was torn apart.
It felt wrong and right at the same time when he accepted his mother's affection, lacing his arms around her chest and burying his face on her upper sleeve as he felt his own eyes prickling with tears. He had little to no memory of his childhood, but surely her posture was familiar and he could almost see his father's demeanor in himself. It was his family, who came for him after seven years of believing he was on the unimportant side of the fairytale.
His thoughts got hazy when nostalgia already appeared in him, but excitement quickly took place as his parents held his hands and led him to the ostentatious carriage.
Wait. Discomfort set back on him.
He had just sat down and touched leather when noises other than the distant cheers filled up the air. Silence. Sudden pained protests, distressed sounds and afterwards the boys from Tinfea hopped on with sour expressions, as if they had just witnessed something they very much disliked.
Then Virgil broke free.
He lunged toward his best friend as Roman leaned out of the carriage; instinctively they both reached out for each other, waiting for their distance to shorten as much as it could. Roman had to at least wave him off properly.
Roman had so much on his mind he felt like his mind had gone blank, the only things he was certainly sure of were his surroundings, it was as if he had completely forgotten about the outside world and everything he had gone through up until that moment. He had no idea how he could have possibly forgotten how Virgil could have felt about the whole inconceivable situation. As a result, their last conversation ended up being fragmentary and disconnected.
« Virge- »
« Raeg- »
« I'm sorry, I'm- I don't- »
« What are- Where are you going? »
« Please, listen to me. »
« Get down from there! Just … come back- »
« Virgil. »
« It can't be you … »
« You're my best friend. I will- »
When Virgil thought he finally had a good grip on the other's wrist, a pissed off and impatient coachman decided it was the best moment for his horses to gallop away and ride back to the palace. Roman's hand abruptly slipped away from Virgil's, the last thing the village boy heard from the newly prince was a startled gasp, the last thing he saw was his eyes wide with melancholy.
Then he looked at his palm: the last thing that touched him. To his astonishment, he found Roman's bracelet, the one he had ever since he arrived at the village, it was a wide golden ring with an emerald attached to it and not even the goldsmith had any idea where it could have come from. It was the only material thing remaining of him, not the sight of his messy curls, or of his bright smile, nothing of his shiny persona.
Only gold and emerald. Like his hair and eyes glowing under the sun. He decided to hold onto it and keep it safe in his pocket. So he was still there somehow, huh?
Virgil had been silent for quite a while, all around him the world seemed to stop. None dared to speak up or approach him. None but his father. The man placed a hand on Virgil's shoulder and that sole touch was enough for his son to abruptly turn around and hug him fiercely. He did not know what to tell him, he couldn't just lie blatantly to him and install false hope in him, creating an illusion that would just break his soul in a million pieces, like the ones he saw in Logan's spell.
What was worrying him more was how Virgil wasn't responding to any of his chaos of emotions, he was just gripping his father's clothes tight as a salvation anchor from the pit of darkness in his chest. His fists were trembling, nails piercing through the fabric. No talking, no crying desperately, no yelling in childish sorrow.
They had just taken away his best friend, maybe the truest friend he could have ever asked for.
His mother walked up to them, eyes wide and watery, empathetic, a hand pressing to her lips, the other on her husband's arm. The same perplexity instilled in her.
Flashes of the rest of his childhood played in Virgil's head, making it harder to repress the hiccups. He couldn't get anything of that back, he couldn't …
Then one last image of Roman flashed in his mind, the one moment in which they looked at each other for the last time, in which the tips of their fingers were about to slip away for god knows how long. When the carriage started to move away from the village. He finally remembered there was a line he didn't register until that moment. One last message from Roman. A pledge. One he could stick to.
“I will come back to see you. I'll be- I'll be back. I promise.”
And it hit him. Harder than a sky falling on him. More blistering than a thousand burning phoenixes.
First a sob, then the earliest tears started flowing, his cheeks wet with salt and pure sadness, an uncontrollable shaking possessed his body without any intention to cease.
His crying grew louder with the more images and thoughts that gathered in his head, oppressing with darkness all the glimmers where consolation could shine through.
Virgil's mother kneeled down to be at eye-level with him, concern and understanding in her expression. She was cautious with him, attentive touches successfully failed to trigger worse reactions from her son; she clasped one of their hands together firmly. I'm right here.
Virgil stepped an inch away from his father, where he actually wanted to bury his whole being into.
He was still sobbing, eyes previously tightly shut opened just an instance, his face towards his mother, a silent call for help. She wiped away the nearly dry tears. You're not alone. She pushed him against her and picked him up, his face in the crane of her neck, while her hand caressed his hair and back, slowly soothing the hiccuping boy.
The family made their way through the crowd, where other orphan kids stood, silently crying, all types of villagers let them pass with compassionate expressions. Their acquaintances kindly approached and they both offered sad smiles; they could not perceive how tough it would be for a young boy like Virgil to lose someone close to him so suddenly. One of the most precious things you own as a child, ripped away out of nowhere.
The Royal Guard decided their job was done and that they could finally march away from that gloomy uncomfortable silence.
Virgil built up the courage to lift his heavy head a little, his nose and eyes barely emerging, he watched the guards leave as he himself was being carried to his home. He watched them prepare to go back to the palace, the same palace that Roman was going to live in for the rest of his life, the same palace that Virgil could not ever even think of brushing.
He held onto the last sentence he heard from him, firmly believing its every word and letter both. He repeated it in his mind until Roman's voice got stuck in his head like a mantra.
Little did he know that years would pass and hopelessness would come after him, deeper with each day, the sinking feeling getting worse as the seconds ticked.
It was all a lie. An older and more mature Virgil would have known better than to waste his time having useless high hopes.
But present Virgil, a child nonetheless, does not know this. He's still a believer.
And he does not know that Roman will never come back.
⋆ ⋆ ⋆
« How did it happen? » the ride back to the palace surely wasn't entirely silent.
It began with uneasiness set in every present person, coachman excluded since apparently he had better things to attend to than engage in a conversation full of emotion, questions and discoveries.
What had just happened with the villager kid left Roman staring down for a whole five minutes in a state of catalepsy, Patton tried his best to suppress the urge to pull him in a tight hug, which he seemed to need very much at the moment. But he was unreachable, tucked between his newly found parents.
He still gave him an empathetic look; Logan at his side too was far from comfortable, shifting in his place from time to time, he only looked out of the window to find pleasure in the beauty of nature once they had reached the charming forests Arcadia was famous for.
The queen, on the other hand, started soothing his son as soon as she sat down, drawing circles in his back with her open hand. Her motherly instincts knew better than to rub salt in the wound, she let him process what had just happened, giving him space and time to adjust to this new situation he apparently belonged to years earlier.
The king was patiently waiting for his son to speak up, to be the first to gain the courage to break the silence, it being to complain, be happy or whatever else was not important. There was time.
Time in which Roman started to feel better and finally looked up, to be met with Patton's shiny and encouraging eyes in front of him. He turned to glance at both his parents, a blank expression that only transpired confusion.
« Why? » was the only thing he let out in a murmur.
Taken aback, the queen battered her eyes for a moment before speaking. There was a slight clutching feeling in her chest. « What are you referring to, darling? »
« Myself. » his index was pointing himself. « Why is it me? How did you find me? Just ... what ... how did it happen? » there wasn't accusation in his words, they didn't sound bitter, more like curious, he was confused and wanted help to put some pieces back together.
And, of course, he asked the right people: Patton and Logan shared a worried look, what Roman was asking about was exactly the topic none dared to even cross their mind in Arcadia; surely he was their son and had all the right to know about the unfortunate episode, since it involved him in the first place, but he was still pretty young to be told such a cruel story.
Still, the king and queen had already decided it didn't matter, they were going to treat their only son as an equal about that particular topic, there was no need to sweeten the pill: he had to know the threats that he could have to face once he was going to be king. And they couldn't let out the possibility that something similar might happen again.
« Let me tell you a story, Roman. » the king was already interrupted by the boy, who had his hands up.
« Wait, is that- is that my real name? »
« Why yes, of course. Roman Bia. Do you not like it? »
« I do! It's just ... weird? » he made a face, disappointed by his choice of words « Everybody called me Raegan at the orphanage. » he admitted, voice lower with a veil of sadness over it.
His mother's expression softened as she put a hand on his shoulder « Would you like to keep that one instead? »
Well, that was a choice he had never considered probable, they even got Logan's attention with that suggestion: the mage had never known that was a thing royalty could do. Change someone's name? Unlikely, sure they had titles they preferred over their own names sometimes, but a completely different one was very rare. If not nonexistent.
Roman pondered the question for a while, going through everyone's face with glances, maybe looking for some kind of answer, which one was the right one? Which one did he like better? Which one fitted him? Did he want to stick to his fake past or his real present?
« I think ... I'll actually go with Roman? »
« Is that a question or an affirmation? » his father asked, clearly amused by the sight, his pensive son taking so seriously a simple query. Did he think they were testing him? Was he uncomfortable around them?
The way he responded, though, impressed the four of them all « I think it is only fair I keep using my real name, it's like going back to my true self, in a way, right? And it is fair to stick to what my parents have chosen for me. »
In awe, the only thing the King thought of doing was pulling his son in a tight hug, a smile quickly forming in his face.
« Very good thinking, Roman. » Logan finally dared to speak, then he leaned in to get a bit closer to him « But remember, what seems fair sometimes is not congruent with what you actually want for yourself, which is not to ignore. »
Roman battered his eyes, hardly understanding the point the seer was making, so Patton set in to intervene, pulling his friend back with a chuckle « He's just ten, Lo, I don't think he understands. » he then proceeded to show his brightest smile to the sovereigns « Please, carry on with your conversation. »
The queen offered another bright smile and they both thanked him.
« As much as Logan's argument was important as much as it was interesting, we'll have to postpone it for another day. » the King continued, receiving a bow of the head from Logan.
« Back to the story. You probably know that, as of now, our kingdom is the wealthiest one compared to the other four. » Roman nodded, remembering what he was taught in school.
« There's a common legend that affirms that Arcadia is a land blessed by the Ancient Gods, who swore upon protecting it from every harm. Sadly, it is definitely not the case. There has been one particular night, in which our peace was disrupted: a young man had shown up at our castle, somehow avoiding the nightly sentinels we always keep around, he started a fire at the Throne Room, black unnatural flames were surrounding every tangible object. The flames managed to reach our room and we had servants to escort us out. »
« They didn't let me keep you. » Roman's mother remembered, a wave of sadness filling her voice. « In my arms. They were afraid we would all get hurt in panic. Then the unimaginable happened. » the boy was staring wide-eyed at the woman, expectant. « That wizard had appeared out of nowhere between us, I remember vividly how he garroted the servant who was carrying you in a split second. I feared the worst, but the servants were faster and immediately got us out of there. We screamed for your name, struggled to get back to you. But they believed our safety was more important. » she shuddered remembering the metal wire surrounded by odd neon green flames that made the cerulean eyes of the mad man flicker with insanity. Even the dark messy hair had seemed to change colour with that light.
« Nonsense. » the king continued « How could they think a child, you, wasn't just as significant? Eventually the best of our kingdom's mages showed up to clean up after the mess that awful man left behind, even the sovereigns of Tinfea came running to our rescue and if I remember correctly they had brought these two boys too. » he gestured to Logan and Patton, who simply smiled and stated that they were only six and seven but remembered perfectly that night.
« We were devastated since we could not find you anywhere, but when we eventually gave up, believing you were lost forever and that that fiend might have taken away your life too, it seemed fate wanted to give us another chance. » Roman's father's eyes shifted to the mage « A very young Logan had a vision out of the blue. He saw the sorcerer taking you in his arms and disappearing with a smirk on his face. Then he saw you, dropped in the middle of a forest, in the dark, dirty and bruised from the fall. »
« I believe it was the one you came out of earlier. » Logan interrupted, remembering that weird sense of familiarity as they had stepped into the village. It had given him a headache.
« Precisely, but of course, being from Tinfea, he had no clue where you could have been. But the most important thing was that we were sure you were alive and out of that bad guy's way. You had barely learned to walk in the past few months ... »
« Also, » Roman's mother continued, a smile tugging at her lips. « that seven-year-old Logan tried his best to explain what he saw, but the poor little boy was far too young to endure visions' powers already, so- »
« Please refrain from mentioning that particular. »
The woman ignored him. « -he fainted after working himself too hard. »
Roman looked at the seer, who now had placed two fingers on his forehead to sustain his head and prevent anybody to directly look at his eyes. « Why would you be ashamed of passing out? »
« Because it underlines my incapacity at the time of grasping the concept of my abilities. »
And for the second time, the little one was left with little to no understanding of the boy's way of talking, just why did he have to sound like that? Was he trying to impress someone?
« Oh, he still does that. » Patton jokingly commented, the others' amused eyes fixated on him. « He still pushes his every limit and risks his well-being almost daily, he doesn't even listen to me! » he lightly shoved his friend with one hand.
Logan made a face that silently yelled can you not?
Between laughs and scolds about taking care of yourself and how the mage wasn't exactly a good example or role model, Roman started to feel more at home and pleased by the new company he was having.
The two young boys in front of him properly introduced themselves as Patton Pàis, prince of Tinfea, and Logan Diànoia, seer, mage in training and future advisor of the king of the same reign. They were only thirteen and fourteen and yet those titles made them sound so solemn already.
Roman began to participate in their conversations more often, he desired to get to know them and let them, too, know what he had been up to for the whole period of time their contact was lost; Roman talked about the orphanage, how it worked and how they had treated every kid kindly and with dedication, how all the children he met were different and yet they felt like part of the same family altogether, he talked about the school, the subjects, all the interesting things he found out with either learning or reading, all the little friends he made in the playground.
He talked about the forests, nature itself, about the woodworker of the village, he didn't even skip all the times he got in trouble for running around with ...
He talked about ...
When his face darkened with negative feelings he couldn't give a proper name to, both his parents reached up to him, one of them asking what was the matter: he only looked up at them after a second he used to weigh his words, then he spoke with a feeble voice, uncertainty wandering around in his mind and prickling his thoughts with indelicate thorns.
« When will I be able to meet Virgil again? » innocent and expectant eyes looked up at the king.
« Oh, honey ... I'm not sure. » Never.
He couldn't bear to see Roman's expression saddening. « But I'm certain it will happen very soon. »
Liar.
This time, the believer was the little prince. Because he didn't yet know of all the time that was going to get ripped out of his hands by his brand new duties as a young prince. A young prince that, though, hadn't had any kind of education as such, truly a loss if they didn't force him to do accelerated and additional lessons, that were all about simply existing, but you had to do it royally.
Roman was unaware of all that, he just stepped out of the carriage to be met with a chimerical landscape, so much that he felt like his vision was foggy with the dreamy aura that the place sent off; he let himself wander until he reached a gate of white material that sparkled when hit by the sun; it was guarded by a myriad of knights in gold and red armors, all too identical to tell one from the other.
In the distance, in front of the longest and most decorated garden he could have ever seen, he could spot the majestic construction of the Royal Palace of Arcadia, it stood imposing, its size seemed frightening even from a wide distance, but it looked also inviting. The boy was tempted to run as fast as he could, at the cost to feel his lungs burning, if it meant he could reach the place, his new home, in no time.
As he was slowly approaching the first statues around him, kindly encouraged by the Guards around him, his parents decided there was another pressing matter which felt far more important, at this point in our story.
It was the exact thing Logan had predicted, of course he had been right.
« The moment we'll step out you will be taken back to your home kingdom, we wanted to tell you something first, of major importance. As you may know, we had assured we would have promised our son to whoever found him, once he'd reached eighteen. »
« Sir, I … » Patton didn't know how to act, he perfectly knew what was coming, as his friend did, judging by the way they shared the same look.
« We wanted to inform you our Roman will be engaged to you, obviously. Patton, your parents had already agreed on the marriage, but we will very soon give an official statement to the public. »
« I am honored, but I don't think it will be necessary- »
« Please Patton, let us be honored. We're noticing how you're growing up to be a magnanimous person, let alone a future kind-hearted king. And if we could unite Arcadia and Tinfea, the occasion would be thoroughly accepted. You have done so much for us, we owe you. »
Patton was taken aback by the seriousness of their words and the fondness of the sovereigns. He felt like he was getting too much credit for the little he did.
« But you don't … have to … I mean- » he stuttered, trying to find the right words, but their gazes, fixated on him, made sure he almost felt the need to comply.
Why couldn't he just make decisions for himself? Why did he feel the need to crumble under the weight of the curse? He couldn't just possibly refuse and explain that the reason why was … some sort of dark magic.
He sighed almost imperceptibly so that he didn't sound like he was struggling inside. « It'll be my pleasure to accept your decision. » he theatrically offered, bowing his head a little.
« Then it's settled. » the sovereigns were smiling brightly as they gave their farewells to both of the boys.
Patton didn't notice Logan hitting the back of the seat with his head, a hand covering his eyes as if he was having a headache, because he himself was too busy trying to distract himself from the noise in his head which was simply his own voice screaming at him for being too stupid with his choices.
Then again, he wondered why he couldn't make decisions for himself.
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Romeo x Reader 13 +21
A/N This is a fic from my Wattpad Prompts list. It was a requested one-shot
Prompts:
13: “How did we get into this mess?”
21: “This isn’t like you.”
High School AU
TW: A bit of swearing
~
"Sit down. Shut up. No talking." Mr. Weisel said as he led you both into the classroom where detention was being held.
You sat next to each other, at separate desks, and propped your bags up against the legs of the tables, as Mr. Weisel made his way up to the teachers' desk at the front of the room to talk to Mr. Seitz.
"How long are these two here for?" He looked up from where he was leaning on the desk with his head resting on one of his hands.
"Two weeks after school." Mr. Weisel replied. He sighed and looked back at you disapprovingly.
He started to make his way out when he stopped in between your desks.
"I'm disappointed in you two." And with that, he left.
"A'right...you know the rules. No phones, no talking and no leaving." You put your hand up, but Mr. Seitz had anticipated what you were going to say. "If you need the toilet, hold it in, unless it's an emergency. Then you put your hand up and ask me. If you're bored, do homework or something..." He put his head in his hands again and stopped talking.
'And so the boredom begins...' You thought as you settled down.
Although after-school detention was only an hour, it felt like so much longer. You had been in after-school detention before, so this wasn't a new experience for you; but Romeo wasn't a frequent flyer in detention, so this was a newer - even more boring - experience for him.
After about 15 minutes, Mr. Setiz, the gym teacher and the teacher who took detention, fell asleep at his desk up at the front of the room. You had sat further down in your chair, folded your arms over your chest and leaned your head back to stare up at the ceiling. 
You felt like you were going to win the staring contest with the spiders on the ceiling when Romeo leaned over the aisle and tapped you on the shoulder.
You sat back up and turned to look at him.
"Looks like Seitz is asleep at last..." You rolled your eyes with a slight smile.
"Yea..." You nodded slowly and checked your watch. "Wow! Record time! It usually takes him at least 20 minutes to fall asleep."
The room stayed silent, but for the slow breathing of the sleeping man and the footsteps of the janitors in the corridor behind you.
You had returned to your original position, but when you heard Romeo sigh deeply, you sat back up and unfolded your arms.
"Y'know, I've never been in after-school detention before..." He said wistfully. "I suppose you know what this is like though..." You nodded.
He opened his mouth like he was going to say something or ask a question, but when no sound came out, he closed it again. He looked like he was thinking something through very carefully, then his face twisted into a grimace.
"Are they gonna call my parents?" He asked after a while.
"Ok, first off, who's they?" You replied.
"The school..." He replied, slightly shakily. "Will they call my parents?"
You shrugged. "Dunno, maybe...Probably not for you, me yea." You paused, then seeing Romeo's worried - and slightly sad - expression. "Hey, don't worry Ro, this is your first after-school detention, right?" He nodded slowly. "You'll be fine. But it would be a good idea if you told your parents about it first, just in case the school does decide to call home. Trust me, I learned the hard way..." You trailed off and turned back to the front.
You both sighed in unison as you stared straight ahead.
Then Romeo turned back to you. "How'd we get into this mess?" He asked.
"I seem to remember Racer daring us to sneak into the principal's office and steal the biggest trophy." You replied dryly, still facing the front.
"Oh, yea...”
You both signed again and you cast your mind back to earlier that day.
~ Earlier that day - Lunch break ~
"C' mon Ro. Truth or dare?" Race asked, with a shit-eating grin on his face; that meant he had a chaotic evil idea in his head, and it almost never turned out well for the victim...
You, Romeo and Race were sitting at your usual lunch table, along with Jack, Crutchie, Davey, Mush, and Blink. You, as a group, had pushed the next table along together with yours, to make a super long table where all of the newsie friendship group could sit together.
It had become a tradition that all of you would have a gigantic game of Truth or Dare every lunch, and at that moment, it was Race's turn to ask.
"Truth or dare?" He asked again. Romeo carefully considered the options. He didn't really want to answer whatever question Race had thought up for him, but then again, the dares could get him into trouble.
"C'mon Ro! 3...2...1..." Race counted down and he was forced to choose something quickly.
"Dare!" He blurted out. Race's mischievous grin somehow got wider. 
"Ok...I, Racetrack Higgins, dare you to sneak into the Principal's office and steal the biggest trophy from the cabinet behind his desk. Then bring it outside to the benches in the square where we usually hang out."
"That's a really bad idea Race! My father will be really mad if he gets caught!" Kath stood up and glared at Race. Her father, Mr. Pulitzer, was the Principal at the Manhattan High School where all the newsies went, and he was never in a good mood.
Romeo's eyes widened in shock and he blinked very obviously several times.
"No. That'll get me into huge trouble if I get caught!" He was regretting saying dare.
"I'll do it with you." All eyes turned to you as you spoke, and you saw Kath roll her eyes as she sat down again. "I'll do it with you, and if we get caught, I'll say I told you to. That way, you won't get in as much trouble." Romeo turned to you, looking slightly relieved.
"Thanks. I'll do it." You both stood up. "Let's go." You smiled as the rest of the newsies watched you left the cafeteria.
Five minutes later, and you were sneaking down the strangely empty corridor. You approached Mr. Pulitzer's office and peeked inside.
"Is he in there?" Romeo whispered behind you and tugged your sleeve.
"No. Let's get this trophy and bolt." You tried the door handle and it was, surprisingly, unlocked. You turned your head around to glance at Romeo, you went in and he followed closely behind you.
His office was quite big, with a few chairs sat in front of his neat desk, with a glass cabinet stretched across the whole wall behind the desk; and there, right in the middle, was the trophy you had come to steal.
You both walked around opposite sides of the desk and you began searching for the key to the cabinet.
"Found it?" Romeo asked, hurriedly.
"Got it!" You answered a few seconds later, picking up a small, metal key up off the desk. You both examined it for a few seconds before you slotted it into the lock and turned it, hoping it was the right key.
A few soft clicks later, and the cabinet's glass panel door released so it was open a few centimetres. You pried it the rest of the way open and Romeo reached in a lifted the heavy trophy off the shelf.
"Right...let's get outta here." He said. Then, out of nowhere, you heard two sets of footsteps; one heavy and commanding, the other quick and hurried.
"Someone's coming!" Romeo exclaimed.
"Give it here!" You said, snatching the trophy out of his hands. To him, you seemed quite rude, but to you, it ensured that he didn't get all the blame and didn't get into as much trouble.
You had promised to take the blame, Romeo was also having a bit of a hard time, but he'd only told you about it and you thought it was your duty, as his best friend, to protect him, care for him, and be his common sense filter - although most of the time, he ended up being your common sense filter.
Just as you took the trophy, the office door opened and the imposing figure of Mr. Pulitzer stood framed in the doorway, with Miss Bunsen cowering slightly behind him. She must've heard what they were doing and got the headmaster...
"What on earth do you think you're doing in my office? And what are doing with that trophy?"
"I believe they broke in to steal it, Mr. Pulitzer." Miss Bunsen said.
"Well...What do you say for yourselves? Hmm?" All that time, both of you had stayed silent, but when it was your time to talk, you stepped forward before Romeo could get a word in sideways...
"It was me. I told Romeo to come in here and steal it, but I knew he wouldn't be able to...so...I came...and did it...instead..." You trailed off the end of your sentence because the imposing man in front of you, looked like he was either going to murder someone or explode. 
You stepped back again and cast your eyes downwards. You glanced over at Romeo, where he was staring at the floor. He looked like he'd seen a ghost, he was so scared...
The headmaster strode forwards and grabbed the trophy out of your hands. He walked around his desk, put it back in the cabinet, locked it and placed the key back down on his desk.
He then turned to face you. "Sit down." He said as he sat down in the chair behind the desk.
You both sat down in the chair in front of him and he started talking.
"I've got to say I'm angry and disappointed in you both. Especially you, Romeo, this isn't like you and I really expected more." He sighed. "Do you know how much trouble you both are in? Breaking into a teacher's office is serious." He raised his eyebrows like he was expecting an answer.
"The door was unlocked..." You said.
"Do not talk back to me!" He nearly shouted. Romeo nearly jumped out his skin at the sudden loud noise.
"You fucking asked!" You thought as you fell silent. 
"I'm giving you both after-school detention for the next two weeks and I'm considering calling your parents to tell them what you have done. Now leave and get to class." As he finished talking, the bell rang, signalling the end of lunch break and the start of 4th period.
You stood up in unison and left in silence.
"I'm sorry (Y/N)."
"Hey...why are you apologising?" You asked as you both walked through the crowds of teenagers, some stuffing their lockers, some standing around chatting, and some running to a class they're late for.
"For dragging you into this..." He murmured.
"Hey...It's alright Ro..." You stopped, wrapped your arm around his shoulders and gave him a hug to show you weren't mad at him.
"I chose to come with you, and I did promise to take the fall if we got caught. Everything'll be fine. After school detention isn't that bad. It's really boring at the worst." He shrugged and left you in the corridor.
~ Back in detention ~
"Oh yea...that's how..." He said, turning to face the front. Then he turned back to you. "Sorry if you thought I was mad at you. It's just...I've never been given after-school detention before...and, yea...I just...yea..." He trailed off and you both sighed.
"Hey...it's fine...seriously." He nodded and smiled slightly.
"Cool..."
Suddenly, an alarm sounded and Mr Weisel's head snapped up off the desk, from where he was sleeping.
"No talking. You've got 10 minutes left, then you can go home." You both turned to each other at the same time.
"Woah...we've been talking for ages!" You whispered. Romeo nodded and smiled with his eyebrows raised in surprise.
The next 10 minutes flew by and before you knew it, you were strolling out of school and into the car park.
"Hey, do you need a lift home? Specs has already gone." You asked.
"Yes please! I do not want to be stuck here!" He had clearly cheered up.
You both laughed and got into your small, silver car.
It took a good 15 minutes to drive to Romeo's house, and in all that time, neither of you talked. Not in an awkward way, it was just like...nothing needed to be said.
You pulled into Romeo's driveway and unlocked the car. 
"There you go."
"Thanks for the lift (Y/N)." He got out of the car and began walking up to his front door.
"Any time, Ro! See you tomorrow!" You called out after him.
Once he was safe inside, you whipped out your phone and texted Race.
You dickhead! :')
wdym?
"Oh yea...Race went home early...he doesn't know..." You thought.
nm tell u tomorrow
k cya then
oh wait how did the dare go?
tell you tomorrow
You reversed out the driveway and put some music on, as you drove another 10 minutes, back to your own house.
"Race is gonna love it when he finds out tomorrow..." You thought and laughed to yourself.
Thanks for driving me home btw
That's alright Ro any time cya tomorrow
~
A/N Welp, there you go! Check me out on Wattpad @/Gingers_Fanfics
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blaperile · 5 years
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Homestuck Epilogues - Meat - Page 1 & 2
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dcmissionaries · 6 years
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Little Onsen of Horrors
After their eventful evening at Shelles harbor, the Angels had gone back to their usual business of trying to defeat ghosts, thwart Shrouds plans, and take the blame for most of the city's problems. The morale had still been rather on the low side throughout the Abbey and, though many of the Angels were trying to find some way to decently keep themselves busy, it was beginning to show. A few of our heroes had convened in the Rec Room to pass the time while waiting for an ethereal warning from the sky. Jacket and Scrunchy shoved each other as they raced on a Rainbow Racetrack of Pain and Agony. Other Angels looked on with sadistic interest at best, taking sides as the two ruined their friendship slowly on Rainbow Road. The large oak doors at the front of the room bust open as the Templar made his way in, stopping to watch in horror as neither Jacket nor Scrunchy got first place- they were far too busy shaking each other and Shades and Blazer frantically tried to recover their losses and finish the game for them. No dice there. Strappon cleared his throat and got most of their attention. "I'm sure you lot are very tired, and as summer is ending I figured we should take a... Small vacation." He began, "Miss Pleats was very generous and gifted us with some gift certificates to a Japanese bath house here in Daten. It's quite popular." "That's pretty sweet of her!" Jacket chirped, "Never been to one of those before!" "Glad we can afford a fuckin vacation." Blazer said, dropping the controller with more interest on the conversation. "Finally."
Strappon and the Angels arrived at the Bathhouse some time later that week with some renewed vigor. As the party approached the building, they were greeted by a pair of little old ladies.
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"Welcome to our hot spring house, Angels! Please, make yourselves at home!" One of the ladies chirped, far more enthusiastic than her twin sister, "My name is Obi, and my sister here Medallion. We're glad to serve such a wonderful group of people." "Absolutely." Medallion said, though with significantly less enthusiasm. Still, she seemed welcoming. Strappon looked at the Angels with a rare smile. "Let's head on in, chaps." He said. With a vacation ahead of them, nothing should go wrong. ...Right?
As the Angels filed inside the inn's lobby, the twins were working dilig ently to register them to their rooms and handing out keys. Medallion co vered the basic floor plan while Obi described what other amenities the inn had to offer outside of its hot springs. There was a nice little rec room and private springs for fewer people if they so desired to use the m. The day was still young and while the twins were elderly, they certainly did tire out the Angels with activities. After a quick dinner break, An gels split up to either settle into their rooms or take advantage of all the hot springs had to offer.
SOPHIE:  Scrunchy was ready to relax, the week prior had been spent between hel  ping people move personal items and playing Mario Kart with Jacket. De  spite "technically" being able to drive with a permit now, there was n  o way she should be trusted on the road at this point, odds are she wo  uld have thrown a blue shell or two. So this day at the 'spa' was more   than welcome.
OMEGA:  Father Crucifix and Raincoat were in the lobby room talking to each ot  her. "And there is nothing you can do about!" Raincoat said as she loo  ked at Father Crucifix. "I tried everything in my power but what is do  ne is done..." Father Crucifix said as he looked down feeling sad. "Bu  llshit! All of it is Bullshit!" Raincoat said as she got angry at Fath  er Crucifix. "Please calm down, I'm angry to but like i said there is  nothing we can do." He said as he tries put his hand on her shoulder b  ut she started to walk away. "I'm going to take hot bath." She said as   he grabs a towel and walks into the hot springs. Father Crucifix sat  there thinking to himself for now.
RYAN:  "This is the life!" Thigh High dreamily sighed as she stretched her ar  ms above her head. Home life has been hectic lately, what with her aun  t moving in and her girlfriend moving out. Suffice to say, this downti  me is exactly what the angel needed.
BRIT:  Strappon settled into the male side of the hot springs, sliding into t  he water up past his shoulders. There was no one else there when he ha  d entered, so he chose this time to be some alone time to sit in the w  arm water and think about absolutely nothing.  Of course, as wonderful as being alone was, Jacket came barrelling in  past Scrunchie, wearing only a towel, and canonballed into the hot spr  ing. This sprayed _hot steamy water_ all over Strappon and whoever was   on the side.  Jacket popped his head up and gave a sheepish smile to Strappon.
SOPHIE:  Witch hat was still trying to find her footing among the angels of Dat  en, truth be told, less than a week ago she was still in the body of a   demon, so honestly? She didn't truly feel like.. well, whatever this  was, that she 'earned' it. However, she wanted to try and get to know  everyone a bit more at the very least. Without her girlfriend present  she kinda.. tried her best not to break anything. She was ready to hea  d over to the hot springs and take it easy.  Exiting her room with a towel draped around her, she e v e r s o c a r   e f u l l y shut the door behind her. She's not paying for damages. N  ot today. Not after 'Nam. Donny just liked bowling.  She carefully watched her footing and started out towards the 'Woman's  " side of the hot springs. Poor lesbian looked like a chicken in headl  ights.  Scrunchy blinked
SOPHIE:  After collecting herself from what just happened, Scrunchy took a runn  ing stance, akin to something you'd see right out of an action anime.  One leg forward, the other back, fists on the ground, until she flung  herself into a full forced sprint after Jacket, tripping on a rock aro  und the spring and cartwheeling through the air before plunking into t  he water. The splash created was at least worthy of a solid 8.
COFFIN:  Vampire Collar yawned softly, removing the hood of his cloak. He'd be  safe so there was no need to have it on. He made his way to the water  before being splashed with water. The boy now looked a lot like the ri  ng. He exhaled and folded his cloak. He held his towel before sinking  into the water. He was up to his nose. He blinked.              Mary J  anes ran past his grandmother and entered the water. He moved over to  Vamp and patted his pasty pal. Dzilla made her way to the women's sect  ion and the giant woman sunk into the steamy water. She let out a sigh  .          Foxstole entered and huffed. "There goes the privacy. Whaaa  tever."
OMEGA:  Raincoat took off her clothes and got into the Hot Springs with the ot  her girls. "Aaaaah nothing like a nice relaxing hot-springs to make yo  u feel better." Raincoat said with a calm relax smile on her face as s  he enjoys the spring.  Meanwhile, Boxer was in a private hot-springs alone and by himself wit  h no one. After everything that happen he just wanted to be alone. "St  upid Luna...Stupid Strappon...Stupid God!" Boxer said as angrily as he   punches this reflection. "Everything Stupid..." He said as he looked  down as everything was quiet.
KURP:  Shades and Sukajan had retreated into their own room for now, seeming  to have a discussion about something. What it was? Probably nothing se  rious and more pertaining to their hobbies.  Luna had sunk herself in the living area near the dining hall. There,  she let her mind melt away as the tv went on with whatever that channe  l was showing.  Archer was not far from her, making sure his feathers were up to snuff  .  Hot Pants slowly came out of his room. The man was holding a change of   clothes and a towel. There was something off about him, though. He ha  d a limp and he was hella limping towards one of the private springs a  nd quick before someone questioned his funny little walk.  Meanwhile Gogo was still in the lobby, busy with phone calls from what   anyone could assume to be with their manager.
OWLIE:  "Okay kids," Cardigan said as she ushered Henley Shirt, Sneakers and S  uspenders and gave them a cheeky smirk "Since Monocle and Polo's out o  f town, I'm in charge, Mono said something about 'make sure Suspenders   is at least 15 feet away from Sneakers', eh, don't care, just have fu  n" She winked at the blushing Sneakers and went to the female's area.  "C'mon, Sneaks!" Suspenders said as he grabbed the other boy's arm and   led him to the hot springs. Sneakers tried to protest but he was help  lessly dragged along.  "G-good day, sir strappon" Sneakers said as he went into the warm wate  r, an audible sigh escaped his lips. Suspenders came in as well and sa  t next to him.
SAIYAN:  Mesh Top, Wristband, Undershirt and Tuxedo Jacket arrived at the hot s  prings and stepped into their respective hot spring areas. Mesh Top an  d Wristband went in the girls area and Undershirt and Tuxedo Jacket we  nt to the males area. Mesh Top and Wristband went into the changing ro  om and began to take her clothes off.  "This is the life! We get to take our clothes off and relax" Wristband   said as she looked over and already saw that Mesh Top and completely  stripped before Wristband had even finished.  "Damn right!" She said as she grabbed a towel and waited for Wristband   to finish.  Wristband finished taking her clothes off and grabbed her towel. The t  wo of them both didn't bother covering themselves up as they the hoped   into the water and sighed.  Meanwhile, Undershirt and Tuxedo Jacket both were a bit more careful a  nd wrapped a towel around their waists before the slipped into the wat  er and sitting five feet apart because they're not gay.
KURP:  There was a child hiding in the plants. Obi is unable to remove him fr  om there and even Medallion is having trouble. Someone call the author  ities, he seems rabid.
OMEGA:  "I need to get my mind off this." Father Crucifix said to himself as h  e gets up and walks into the hot-springs with everyone. He takes off h  is clothes and puts them away then calmly goes into the hot-springs. "  This is nice." He said as he started to relaxing and letting go of all   the sad thoughts.  Raincoat and Boxer were doing their thing in the hot-spring.
SOPHIE:  Pumps had arrived pretty darn late to this event. She had gotten in a  bit of a mix up earlier concerning who had her laptop after last night  s 'movie night'. However, with her dumbass being the one looking for i  t, checking behind the desk at the family-owned-shop was the last thin  g she'd think of doing. After calming herself down from that fiasco, s  he recalled the angels and some humans were invited to go to this Bath   House. Checking the Address in her phone, she drove over to the place   and locked up her car. After stepping in she gave a small wave to the   twins and looked around the place until her eyes found a familiar fri  end.  The purple haired hooker walked up behind Luna and gently tapped the w  oman's shoulder, leaning her head over to whisper to the friend. _"Hey  , got room for one more?"_ She smiled, eliciting a soft chuckle.
RYAN:  "Hmm.... to get naked or watch to TV? Decisions, decisions..." Thigh H  igh rubbed her chin deep in thought before she was interrupted by a ph  one call. Fib'yuh'luh, being the doll that they are, was supervising t  he bakery so the angel could relax. However nice the gesture, Fib did  have a tendency to call to update Thigh High on every little thing tha  t happened.  "I guess I'll hang out in the lobby for a bit. I wouldn't want to Fib  to worry about me." She said as she plopped down on the couch in the l  iving area. Best to keep her pants on in the likely case her phone rin  gs again.
ROMAN:  With the news of the Abbey-wide vacation to an inn, Jersey had been qu  ick to sign themselves up. Even in all of their Really, the only activ  ity they were truly interested in at this point was the hot springs. T  hey'd always wanted to try one themselves after hearing about it, but  they couldn't go in with their sweater still on, could they? This serv  ed as a source of slight dismay, but also left them pondering. What co  uld they do? They really didn't want to appear shirtless, but dammit t  hey /really/ wanted to go into the hot springs!  Peeking around the corner towards the entrance of the hot springs, one   of their flat sleeves came up to rest in front of their mouth as Jers  ey squinted. Maybe they'd figure something out later, yeah! For now th  ey could just... do something like ping pong, right? Maybe, or who kno  ws? One of the other many inn activities seemed to be a good idea, and   with that they turned away and began their slow shuffle away from the   hot springs.
COFFIN:  Vampire Collar currently had a child mushing his face. The blanched ch  icken nugget of a boy was enjoying himself though. "Mary I know my ski  n is soft but why?"  Mary puffed his cheeks, "They're just so stretchyable uncle bat!" Stre  tchyable.  Was there a giant naked woman exploring? Yes. God help her.
OSCARK9:  Gloves was so happy to be here that he can't wait to relax his tired m  uscles in "The Bath House". Fighting ghosts and demons all day to prot  ecting Daten City can leave a stress to your entire body, but thank th  e lord that all the angels and heavenbents can have a relaxing day. As   he grab a towel, he went to the male side of the hot springs and get  his relaxation on. When he got their, he dip his right toes first in t  he hot spring. "Oh! Hot, hot hot!" He said to himself, pulling his toe  s out of the water quickly. Slowly and slowly putting it back in. Then   his left foot, and slowly putting his whole body, except his head, in   a warm hot water. "Ahhh!~" He said as be begins to relax.  Sapphire was also happy to be here and was amaze to see "The Bath Hous  e" for the first time. It was a sight to see and can't wait to relax i  n the spa. She grab herself a towel and went to the female side of the   hot springs. As she look at the hot springs water's reflection, she s  lowly gets in the hot spring with her left toes, then the right, then  her whole body, beside her head, into the water. "Now this is the life  .~" She said and begins her relaxation in a warm hot bath.
KURP:  Luna didn't even more her body, her eyes shifting in the direction Pum  ps was in. Of course, without moving her head, she was unable to see t  he girl and didn't bother anymore. She was mentally gone after an exha  usting and frustrating week.  Archer stretched before gesturing to Pumps, "She's fine, this is her v  ersion of letting loose."  The boy in the plants suddenly saw a bright...something walk past him.   He noticed it was a kid with features very close to his and wondered  something. With little notice, Haber reached out to Jersey, clawing in  to the kid's namesake. In his attempt to get Jersey to stop moving, he   fell flat on his face on the ground.  Obi sighed as she went in to clean whatever pots fell over.
OMEGA:  Father Crucifix and Raincoat were relaxing in their hot-springs while  Boxer was in a private hot-springs feeling sad and angry at the same t  ime.
BRIT:  Jacket made a strangled noise in response right as Scrunchy's whole bo  dy impacted into his face. The two sunk under the water and Strappon p  ulled himself as far into the side of the spring as he could.  "Jacket! THIS IS THE MALE SIDE!" He stuttered out, trying to keep his  privates under wraps, if you know what I mean. He has a towel, let him   live. He looked beside him at Sneakers and cleared his throat. "Ahem,   hello Sneakers. And... Suspenders was it?"  Jacket finally emerged from the water, holding Scrunchy up in the fash  ion of the "SANCTUARY" scene from Hunchback of Notre Dame. The towel w  rapped around her was pretty stuck there. Huh.  "You okay, Scrunch?" He asked, looking up at her.  Duster followed after Hot Pants. He held his stomach with a sigh.  "I hope settling into a hot bath will get rid of this ill feeling." He   said, "I wonder if I ate too much..."  Cowlneck shoved the door to the male side of the hot spring open. Full  -frontal nudity, he clearly had made his way there shamelessly without   anything to cover himself. A brave man. He then plopped himself into  the water by most of the other men that were trying to keep themselves   at a respectable distance. He sat right beside Father Crucifix, close   enough that their thighs were touching.  "Hey there, mind if I sit here?" He asked, flipping his hair and flash  ing a smile at the other man.
COFFIN:  Mary Janes was chilling and playing Pokemon Go. He was moving through  the water. He looked up from his phone and saw Cowlneck. "DIGLET."
OWLIE:  "Yep, That's me~" Suspenders said, smiling at Strappon before turning  his attention back to Sneakers.  Henley Shirt scowled at the sight of Tuxedo Jacket and decided to sit  as far away from him as possible. Sneakers caught sight of Mary Janes  and he beamed, he waddled through the water to meet his friend. Suspen  ders trailed behind him and seemed to be interested with something in  the water in front of him.  "Mary!" Sneakers said with a grin.  Meanwhile Cardigan was having the time of her life relaxing.
OMEGA:  "I don't mind at all, feel free to set anywhere you like." Father Curc  ifix said as he was in the calm zone. He was enjoying the warm water o  f the hot-springs as he didn't care.  Raincoat was still with the girls enjoying her hot-spring time. She lo  ved the water and this was where she became one with water as she beca  me so relax she started float around the hot-springs. "Paradise~" Rain  coat said with a smile as she floats.  Boxer was being sad and angry in the hot-springs. Someone help this bo  i.
KURP:  In the lobby area, Gogo, having a flip phone for the sake of being dra  matic, closed their phone in frustration. Whatever happened in that co  nversation, it definitely didn't go well. Scoffing, they looked around   and their eyes fell on Dermal who seemed to be minding his own busine  ss since they got here.    "You, get nude. You owe me a little 'service' after losing that bet fr  om a while ago."
SOPHIE:  Witch hat paused at the sight of a familiar face and gently tapped Thi  gh High's arm as she passed by, giving the girl a tiny wave. "Hey--aga  in-how's it going?" Witch hat sputtered out. God she felt out of place  . Plus the only thing keeping her decent was a towel. She was outa her   comfort zone to say the least. "--I uh. Would you mind joining me in  the hot springs?"  Pumps blinked and let out a tiny sigh. She leaned down and gently kiss  ed the top of Luna's head before backing off. Man, she was worried abo  ut this woman, but she figured she'd be best if her friend was left al  one for now.  Stepping back, she fixed the strap of her backpack over  her shoulder and looked around once more. After speaking with a lady b  ehind the desk she was given a key to a room and threw her stuff in th  ere.  For being the resident closet hooker the girl seemed hard pressed on s  taying dressed today. She ended up wandering out by the women's spring  s, but just sitting out by them, instead of in them. She seemed a touc  h lost in thought.  Scrunchy coughed up some water as gracefully as ever, giving a prompt  thumbs up. It was then she remembered once more why she was gay. Almos  t ignoring the entire scene she was causing she nodded towards Jacket,   carefully climbing up and to the edge of the spring. Still concealed  in her towel, though it be soaking now, she slowly realized something.  _"ooooh. this is the.. the guys.."_  _"ooooooooh."_  She looked over at Jacket and blinked, whispering in a somewhat obnoxi  ous manner. _"I; Scronch, took a calculated risk, but man was I bad at   math."_
COFFIN:  Mary Janes was laying in the water. He wiggled around and sung. "You,  you love it how I move you. You love it how I touch you, my one, when  all is said and done,you'll believe God is a vegan."  Vamp just blinked.
KURP:  Hot Pants stopped for a bit, looking up at Duster. He smacked his arm  a little as he opened the door to one of the private springs.  "Well, maybe if you didn't shove food down your gullet as fast, maybe  we wouldn't have these issues. I mean at least if you start getting si  ck, we can ask Shades since he suffers stomach issues too..."
RYAN:  Responding to the familiar voice Thigh nodded her head, "Oh sure let m  e just send out a quick text-" The angel's sentence trailed off as she   did a double take at the woman before her. Quickly dismissing the awk  ward staring session as she winked and pointed finger guns at Witch, "  I guess you look cute no matter what body you're in!"  Please tone it down Thigh High, your gay is showing.
EMI:  The purple-haired diva lifted his shades and shot a glance at Gogo.  "And here I thought this was a vacation. Your memory is better than I  anticipated, Gogo." He sighed, pulling off his shirt in a very showy m  anner and tossing it onto Veil. "Very well."
ROMAN:  The last thing they expected was to feel fingers curl into their jerse  y, jerking them backwards a bit in the process. But when the other eve  ntually went down as they went stock still, Jersey was brought down, u  nfortunately, like a bag of bricks next to him. Dazed for a moment, th  ey sat up and glanced around until they found the boy face down on the   ground. Gawking before Jersey's head slowly tilted, confusion was cle  arly written across their features.. "Uh- Are you okay?" A sleeve came   up, tentative and reaching out slowly as if unsure of patting him.
SAIYAN:  Undershirt gave Cowl neck a nasty look. He was totally breaking the 5  foot gap that all men must adhere to.  "Dude what the...whoa" Undershirt said to Cowl before he suddenly said   before he got dizzy for a moment.  Well that was fucking weird.
SOPHIE:  Witch hat couldn't help but blush a little bit at that last comment, s  he scratched her neck and laughed. The amount of gay tension between t  hese two was immense. You could physically see the gaydar. That's how  tense we talkin.  "ah! Well-thank you. I'm still getting used to this though. It's super   weird being in someone else's party--" She blinked, shaking head. "No  - Body-the girls name was party hat- I-"  She sighed, making sure the angel had gotten a chance to send the text   before holding her hand out to take so they could head towards the ho  t springs. Poor girl was beat red. Something felt a bit off. She could  n't tell if it was the gayness or if it was something she ate at this  point.
KURP:  "You only wish my memory was poor," they said, taking Dermal's shades  to shield their eyes from his chest. They know they wanted him nude bu  t they still feel like being dramatic.  They guided Dermal in the direction of the private springs, pushing as  ide some short stack and a well chiseled man out of the way. Or at lea  st they would of pushed Duster to the side but the man was solid as a  wall. They definitely took advantage of this to get a good feel of his    abs. Anyway, inside, the shades began fogging up with Gogo tossing t  hem behind, a cacophony of noises happening for comedic effect. As the  y began to strip themselves, they suddenly noticed Boxer was in the ro  om.  "OH. HEY, Dear... Didn't notice you took this one. There wasn't anythi  ng saying if it was in use or not."
KURP:  Meanwhile, Luna made a little noise as confirmation that she appreciat  ed the small gesture of affection from Pumps.  Haber slowly got on his knees and shook his head, getting pot dirt out   of his face by shaking it. He froze upon being asked a question and s  tared back in silence for a few moments before slowly nodding. Well, t  he language barrier was definitely going to be a problem.
RYAN:  Thigh High intertwined their fingers cause she ain't got no chill. "It  's cool," she said waving her free hand as if to swat away the tension   itself from the air, "Take it easy, we've got lots of time to talk. I   can't imagine what you're going through but there's no need to push y  ourself too hard, my dude!"
COFFIN:  Dzilla returned to the spring and she sat down in the water. She looke  d around, just naked people. Pretty normal.  Foxstole was chilling on her phone, legs crossed in the water. She cou  ld feel the gay.  Mary Janes was dancing around now around Vampire Collar. "I feel it af  ter munchies. A feeling that I can't fight, my one, it lingers when I'  m done. You'll believe God is a vegan."  Vampire Collar had his face in his hands. His nephew was weird. "God i  s a vegan?"
JAY:  Biretta came bursting through the door of the male's bathhouse, a gush  ing stream of light behind him in his wake. Though her appeared, while   completely hidden by shadows, to be donning his typical, over-the-top   robe, he was in reality clad in a pretty regular (black) bathrobe, co  mpletely undone and revealing his rather skimpy undergarments to the o  ther angels.  "I have arrived!" he bellowed.  He was so, completely extra.
OMEGA:  Boxer was looked down then got jumped by Gogo and the Seraph that made   him a fallen angel. "Oh Hey Gogo." Boxer said calmly as he looked at  them. But he looked at Dermal with anger for what he did to him. "What   is he doing here?" He ask as he looked at Gogo. Boxer didn't want Der  mal around because of what he did to him.  Raincoat was floating around in the hot-springs.
SAIYAN:  Tuxedo Jacket cringed at Birretta's entrance.  "Bro, why do you have to be so flashy with your entrance? We don't nee  d to see that!" He said as he covered his eyes.  He really should have expected it though, with this group. But he'd st  ill hoped that everyone would have minded their manners.
COFFIN:  Mary's doing the worm in the water. Take him home.
SOPHIE:  After being left to her thoughts for a little bit, Pumps collected her  self and undid the ponytail in her hair, propping herself up against t  he side of the woman's hotsprings. She looked around at the lovely con  testants on 'whos boobs float' and cracked a smile. Not because of the   boobs. Mainly cuz she didn't want to come off as dark and mysterious  around a bunch of naked women.  She locked eyes with Dzilla and a few others, waving slightly. "Hey, h  ow are all of you doin?" She asked, trying to start up a conversation.   Who knows, maybe only nude people can talk to eachother here. The wor  ld may never know.  Witch hat nervously pushed a strand of her hair back behind her ear an  d nodded, giving the High Priestess of Eyebrow-games a smile. "Thanks-  - I appreciate it a lot.." She trailed off before leading them back to  wards the hot springs. As the two entered, witch hat did her damn best   to stay covered until the water would do the work for her.  "How's everything been going for you lately by the way?" She asked Thi  gh high.
BRIT:  "It's okay, not like I haven't seen it all before!" Jacket laughed at  Scrunchy.  Cowlneck scoffed at Undershirt and slid over to Crucifix, but upon the   mention of Scrunchy his head snapped to look at the woman with the mo  st deadly glare he could muster.  /"YOU."/ He hissed, getting ready to pull himself out of the water whe  n Jacket snagged his waist.  "SCRUNCHY RUN, I HAVE MOM!" Jacket yelled, "Go to the woman's side, he  'll never go there! There's naked women!!"  Trying to go after her, Cowlneck pulled himself out of the water. Howe  ver, he barely got out of the water when he slipped onto his face with   a wet 'slap'. Jacket let go of him and swam off to another end of the   hot springs.  "Well I'm glad /you/ had your fun." Cowlneck grumbled as he slid back  into the water, "I'll have a word with you later. Right now, I'd rathe  r have a /relaxing day/."  Biretta's entrance made him scowl. He was supposed to be the flashy on  e.
EMI:  Dermal flashed the boy a toothy grin. He loved leaving lasting impress  ions on people.  "Ah, yes. I could ask you the same. I'm simply here to join my friend  here with some nice, relaxing boiled meats."  The Seraph removed his towel and sunk into the water, settling in.
ROMAN:  Watching as he got up with a bit of concern, Jersey pulled their sleev  e back and let it drop to their sleeve. When instead of speaking to an  swer the question, he nodded, they simply tilted their head. Was he pe  rhaps mute? And how curious! They'd rarely seen a human with features  like their own, it had their curiosity piqued now. Realizing they'd be  en staring for a moment, Jersey jerked out of their reverie and quickl  y piped up. "Ah! That's fine, and uh! I'd ask if you know how to sign  but... I can't really return the favor." Casually wiggle one of their  sleeves.
COFFIN:  Dzilla was confused by the copious amounts of tiddies. She looked down   at her dobonhonkeros and she blinked. "Behave breasts." She looked ba  ck up and her eyes met Pumps. Challenge accepted. "I'm quite confused,   but alright. Yourself?"
OMEGA:  "I got this place first, Seraph!" Boxer said angrily as he stand up an  d point at him. "You the hell out of here now." He said in a serious t  one at him. He didn't want this guy in his hot-spring because de-rank  him in front of everyone.  Raincoat and Father Crucifix were still relaxing.
SOPHIE:  Scrunchy bolted back, staring in utter shock. "JIMINY CRICKETS--MAN" S  he fastened the towel around herself and half-ran, half-flew over towa  rds the woman's side. However after a few minutes of standing there am  ong the...calmer side, she got bored. She poked her head over the rock   formation separating the two sides and yelled towards her friend. "SA  Y, AFTER THIS WANNA PLAY SOME MARIO KAR-" she began before losing her  footing and falling back into the woman's side. It was still unclear i  f there was property damage. Girl felt a bit dizzy after that for sure  .  Pumps stared, slightly concerned towards Scrunchy but shook it off. Gi  rl's made of fucking titanium anyways. "I'm alright. Kinda lost in tho  ught about things n stuff. The usual. What has you confused boo?" ~~Wh  at Pumps wouldn't say is that her little gay heart was concerned to hi  gh heaven with Luna's well-fare.~~
OSCARK9:  While Gloves was relaxing in the hot spring and looking at other man f  rom far distance, he notice few was coming in the hot springs and few.  ..well...being LOUD! Gloves didn't say nothing but putting his head mi  d-way under water, making bubbles out of his mouth, and seeing all the   crazy happening infront of him.  Meanwhile, Sapphire was relaxing in the warm water and looking up at t  he ceiling. Dosing her mind elsewhere, when she looks down at the wate  r, she sees Raincoat floating in the water. "Hey, Raincoat!" She said  to her, happily. "How's the hot spring?"
RYAN:  Sinking into the water Thigh High pursed her lips before answering Wit  ch Hat. "It's alright I guess. My family's back in town, I embarrassed   my twin brother on social media, and I broke up with my girlfriend."  She said while counting on her fingers as she listed recent events. Th  igh High paused on that last thought for a little while longer, "I don  't think I'll be seeing Cloak for a while though... But, change is nor  mally for the best." Que a clearly forced smile.  "But enough about my sad existence, what have you been up to? Besides,   you know." Thigh High asked as she will smith posed at Witch Hat's bo  dy.
OWLIE:  "Sneakksss" Suspenders, poking Sneaker's back, then lowering his voice   to a whisper "Wanna go use the private hot springs?"  He was smacked in the head by Sneakers, who frowned at him "Oh _hush_,   Suspenders" His face burned redder than his hair.   Sometimes it's hard to believe that guy is still fifteen.  Henley sat all by himself, which he didn't mind, he's already enjoying   his own company and admiring his reflection at the water.
KURP:  "Now, now, dear," Gogo said, placing a hand on Boxer's shoulder, "He's   a good...friend...of mine. And our superior, no less. Relax a little,   we're all here to hang out and maybe have a little /fun/ if you get w  hat I mean."  "Uh... Am, okay?"  Haber looked down at the ground, trying to find words to work with.  "English is no good? Spanish, mostly."  It had been a bit since either Shades or Sukajan had left their rooms.   It was safe to assume they were having their quality time if it weren  't for Sukajan busting out of his room, nearly giving Obi a heart atta  ck as she was delivering drinks around the building.  "Dear, is everything-" And Sukajan went running to the rest of the Hea  venbents, "Alright..."  She took one look inside the room and simply gasped before closing the   door. Wait until Medallion hears about this.  "GUYS. GUYS HELP. IT'S SHADES!" Sukajan yelled.  This got Luna to snap back into reality, looking alarmed as she turned   to Sukajan. Archer rolled his eyes before looking over the couch hims  elf.  "What. What happened that has you yelling bloody murder, you want us t  o get kicked out?"  "SHADES IS-"  "AN ALPACA!" Shades said, interrupting Sukajan after Shades somehow es  caped his closed room. He was in shambles, tears. He's ruined.  Luna stared in complete disbelief with Archer's mouth agape, unable to   process what he was seeing.
COFFIN:  Foxstole took this opportunity to play a song. In the distance you cou  ld hear, "/Bitch I'm a cow.Bitch I'm a cow. I'm not a cat I don't say  meow./" She smirked.  "Ahh I see.  I'm confused, why are the men separated? What is a bitch?  " Godzilla blinked.
SOPHIE:  PTJ essentially barrel rolled out of one of the restrooms. He was too  dead to process the fact his dad was now an alpacca. Go steal someone  elses fucking groove dude. Kid looked like he ate something that didn'  t agree with him.  Though, despite being completely fucked up, the kid, regardless, came  up behind Shades and pretended to be surprised.
OMEGA:  "Relaxing~" Raincaot said as she floats in the hot-springs for she was   full on sloth at this point. "I love this~" She said as she keeps flo  ating around with a smile on her face.  Boxer looked at Gogo and then looked back at Dermal. "If he says anyth  ing about me i want him out." Boxer said to Gogo as he sets back down  though keep looking at Dermal.  Father Crucifix was still relaxing~
JAY:  Biretta surveyed the group of males after he made his grand entrance,  smirking in spite of himself. He was clearly proud of his boisterous e  ntrance. Maybe today, he would get the recognition he deserved, or so  he thought.  He noticed someone in particular scowling at him while scanning the cr  owd, which piqued his interest. Approaching Cowlneck, he decided to sl  ide himself into the water as well. With absolutely no tact, he direct  ly asked. "Why, hello, there. You do not like my entrance?"
COFFIN:  "Cow!!!" Mary Janes screamed and hugged Shades. Yup. A cow.
SOPHIE:  Witch hat was about ready to give her friend a little shoulder-hug, wh  en a fucking furry came onto the battle field. _She knew it._  Though she was at a complete and total loss for words.  Scrunchy, lying upside down, looked inside the bath house and just bli  nked. "WE'RE DOOMED" she yelled, for effect.  Pumps took off her boot and hucked it at Scrunchy before standing up a  nd leaning over to Dzilla. "Men and women are separated because that's   just how this is, it stems from way back in the day so I can't really   give a just explanation. Also you should download urban dictionary."  Pumps rushed in towards Shades and kneeled down next to the dude. _"Ar  e you fuckin alright man."_
COFFIN:  Dzilla raised a thicc brow. "What is this urban dictionary?? What is a   download?" She came out with more questions and no answers. She would   have to ask Mary Janes.  Vampire Collar sunk into the water. This dad to be was stressed.  Foxstole kinda just laughed.
BRIT:  Duster looked up from the ground to see a pink alpaca barrel down the  hallway with wreckless abandon, followed by the proclaimation that tha  t was, in face, his brother.  "Got im Himmel..." He muttered, "Shades... What--"  He was interrupted by a coughing fit. Speaking was difficult and he wa  s feeling worse.  "You're quite... Flashy." Cowlneck replied to Biretta coldly, flipping   his hair. "I've no interest in a man who would upstage me."  There was screaming, and Cowlneck turned to see a pink Alpaca. Oh.  "Shades-- Is that... Are you...?" Strappon asked, pulling himself out  of the springs to approach him, "What in God's name happened?"
RYAN:  Thigh High blinked.
SOPHIE:  Everyone Blinked
EMI:  Dermal scoffed heavily at Boxer's comment.  "I don't /want/ to talk about you anyway. I like talking about the mos  t important man in my life." He pulled a mirror out of the water and w  inked at his reflection.  "Anyway, just get in here before the water gets too cold. I need someo  ne to keep it warm for me, Gogo."
SAIYAN:  Undershirt and Tuxedo Jacket looked over at Shady who had somehow turn  ed into an Alpaca. This was like something out of a Disney movie or so  mething. It was really hard to believe it was him, but it had Shady's  voice after all.  "Dude, what the fuck happened to you? How is this even possible?" Unde  rshirt asked his friend.  "Dude how are you gonna stream now?" Tuxedo Jacket asked.  Wristband and Mesh Top heard the commotion and both climbed on top of  the rock separating the two sides of the hot spring.  "Well holy shit, would you look at that" Mesh Top said, with a seeming   lack of care in her voice.  "Try to sound a bit more concerned, this is our friend we're looking a  t. At least I think so" Wristband replied.
OWLIE:  "What's with the commotion- oh shit" Henley said as he approached the  screaming group. A towel wrapped around his scrawny ass. "What the hel  l happened to him?"  Sneakers and Suspenders just stood in a corner and stared.
JAY:  Biretta seemed to grin, almost beaming at Cowlneck's response. Whether   Cowlneck meant to or not, he totally validated the angel. But before  he got too excited, he composed himself and relaxed his tensed muscles  .  "Ah, well... Good."  He was quickly interrupted by screaming, though he didn't really pay i  t any mind, only turning away from Cowlneck to think about how great h  is entrance was.
OMEGA:  "What with all the scre-" Father Crucifix was interrupted by a Pink Al  paca. "What the hell is a Pink Alpaca doing here?" He ask as he point  at the Pink Alpaca that is Shade.  "Prideful, i don't know why you haven't fallen yet yourself..." Boxer  muttered as he looked at Dermal. But he soon started to relax in the h  ot-spring letting the anger go.  Raincoat was relaxing and floating then bumped into the giant lady ang  el that is Drillza.
KURP:  With all the ruckus, Haber turned to look only to see a pink alpaca wi  th people proclaiming it was his older brother. He pointed to the dist  ressed animal and urged Jersey to follow.  Shades tore himself from the group, loudly sobbing as he held his hoov  es to his fave.  "I'm ruined!" He wailed, "I can't draw with these! My options are now  limited to acting ans breeding!"  Luna simply fainted, Archer catching her and flapping his free wing to   give her air.  Gogo snorted, "Calm your dick, I'm going- why is there bloody murder?"   They asked as they quickly opened the door to their onsen.  "Lords in Heaven. Dermal. It's My Little Pony in the other room."
RYAN:  Thigh High simply nodded her head. Of all the shit she's seen, was she   truly surprised by this outcome? The answer may shock you.  "What's brackin bruh? How you livin?" Asked Thigh High as if this was  a regular ol Tuesday.
COFFIN:  Dzilla felt the bump and mentally prepared to R.K.O someone. She turne  d quickly and blinked down at the small ant. "Tiny girl do you live?"  She poked her stomach, it was like a /light/ punch.  Vampire Collar got out of the water and made his way over. "That..appe  ars to be an alpaca. Are you sure this place isn't cursed??"
ROMAN:  "Ah I see now! Sorry for assuming." They chuckled nervously, before th  eir attention was quickly drawn away from the situation at hand and di  rected towards a... pink alpaca? I'm sorry, what? Jersey does stand, r  eady to follow, "Do you have any idea whats going on?"
KURP:  Hots looked up at Duster with concern, holding his arm.  "I know your brother is a pressing issue, but you wanna have a sit? Lo  oks like Luna isn't doing too well either..."
EMI:  "Diplomatic immunity." Dermal replied, adjusting his bangs in his refl  ection. "That's nice, Gogo de- Wait. What?"  He stopped his nitpicking and his head snapped to Gogo. "Are you high?   I didn't know we were having that kind of party."
OMEGA:  Boxer raise his eyebrow and looked at Gogo. "What is it?" Boxer ask as   he looked at them kind of curious.  Raincoat giggle as Dizlla poked her belly. "Stop that tickles!" Rainco  at giggle as she floats in the hot-springs with a smile.
BRIT:  "Shades, calm yourself. Please. We'll figure out what happened..." Str  appon assured, petting his soft wool. He seemed to be unwittingly pett  ing Shades, "Why don't we... Clear the area so I can ask you some ques  tions?"  Jacket popped out of the water, shaking his head off.  "Yeah, I'm not feeling too great." He said, rubbing his stomach. He fe  lt queezy, "Oi, time to get some shut-eye, I guess."  Cowlneck simply stood up with a huff, angry that Biretta was no longer   paying him any mind and that Shades was now taking the attention away   from him. Fuck this shit. He stomped off to his room.
SOPHIE:  PTJ sat on the floor where Shades once was and just curled up on his s  ide. _"dad's an alpaca.. mom fucks ghosts.. "_ he muttered, feeling th  e cold embrace of death as he drifted off. Goodbye world.  On the other hand, Pumps just stood up and blinked, taking note of Lun  a fainting and.. well, Shades' midlife crisis. She exhaled. Why couldn  't they just _actually_ relax for once. She wondered over by Luna's si  de and leaned down. However as she wasn't a trained medical  professio  nal she just poked the girls cheek. That's it, smartass.  Witch hat descended into the bubbles of the hotspring, wide eyed. _"we  ll aside from it turning into a crazy town here, I'd say everything's  good. Sorry to hear about your girlfriend thwbobgh"_ She said, her las  t bit cut off via trying to talk underwater. Smart.
SAIYAN:  Undershirt looked around at all of the people starting to stare and mu  rmur about Shady’s condition. He felt like he should get everyone to g  o to their rooms and get some rest before this situation devolved into   madness. Plus, it was getting kind of late. He stood up and got every  one’s attention.  “Okay guys, I think we should go to our rooms for the night. We’ll thi  nk about a way to get Shady back to normal tomorrow. I think it’ll be  easier to come up with a plan when we’re well rested” he said as he wr  apped a towel around his waist and motioned for people to exit through   the doors.
COFFIN:  Dzilla shrugged and gently picked up Raincoat. "We must go inside. It  is not safe out here." She held her on one shoulder and she stormed of  f to get Mary Janes.  "Uh! Nana why are you-?" Mary Janes was picked up. "Nanaaaaa..I was ju  st having fuuuuun." He huffed and started to play candy crush in her a  rms.  Vampire Collar exhales and he slips on his cloak. "Probably the best i  dea...stay safe everyone." He waved and began to head for his room.
OMEGA:  "Alright..." Father Crucifix said as he gets out of the hot-springs an  d gets a towel around him. "I'll be in my room if anyone needs me." He   said as he grabs his clothes and goes to his room. That was strange b  ut relaxing hot-springs.  "No! I want to stay in the springs!" Raincoat said as she was really w  anted to get back to relaxing. Though the giant women was to strong an  d large.
OWLIE:  "You heard him," Cardigan said, sighing as she tugged on her robe, "Co  me along boys,"  Henley, Suspenders and Sneakers nodded and all three followed her and  they went to their separate rooms.
COFFIN:  "Most are going to their rooms. If you wish to go back, make sure you  aren't alone." Dzilla put Raincoat down and took her grandson.
OMEGA:  "Fine..." Raincoat pouted at the giant lady and grabbed her clothes he  ading to her room.
RYAN:  "It was bound to happen sooner or later." Thigh High shrugged. "You wa  nna get outta here? They seem to be trying to get us all out."
OSCARK9:  As Gloves seeing everyone getting out of the hot spring, so did he. He   grab his towel and wrap it around him. He can't believe that Shade tu  rn into an Alpaca that it made his mouth drop. Yet, it was a bad idea  since now he can taste men sweat. "Yuck!" As he got his stuff, got cha  nge, went to his room, and laid on his bed.  Sapphire got out of the pool with the rest of the gang with two towels   covering her top and bottom area, grabbing her stuff, got change, wen  t to her room, and also laid on her bed. She can't believe Shades turn   into a cute pinky Alpaca and wishes that she can hug the men and stay   a little longer in the hot spring, but orders are orders.
JAY:  It was Biretta's turn to scowl when everyone began to leave only a few   minutes after he arrived. Over what, a strange-colored alpaca? Begrud  gingly, Biretta eventually left the water himself, tying his half-soak  ed bathrobe to his waist properly before walking out with the rest of  the angels.
SOPHIE:  Witch hat nodded, grabbing her towel and getting out of the spring and   wrapping herself up. _"Yeah--I think that'd be a good idea.. I'm not  feelin too hot myself."_ She mumbled, gesturing for Thigh High to foll  ow suit.
COFFIN:  Foxstole noped out, no alpaca shenanigans for her.
A few hours had passed since everyone had gone to their rooms. There was a strange feeling in the air, as if things were about to get weird, and there were still unanswered questions. Like "Why is Shades suddenly an Alpaca?" Was this some silly gimmick? Strappon was petting Shades gently as the poor sap had finally stopped b awling his eyes out. It was almost like he hadn't stopped petting him si nce he had begun previously. "It's alright, Shades. We'll figure this out. We just need time to think ." Strappon offered, "Everyone else is sleeping, so it's best you try to get some rest." A loud yell emitted from somewhere in the onsen and what seemed like a f luorescent blue sentient mop came running in.
KURP:  "God I hope so, I can't take care of my baby looking like this! I can'  t draw nor stream under these conditions either."  Sukajan was also petting Shades, hopping the double petting would help   in keeping Shades calm. He was about to speak before there was even m  ore yelling.  "What the absolute fuck is happening?"  Luna had finally come to, Archer having a little beaming smile on his  face as he helped her sit up.  "Lady Luna! I'm so glad you're okay."  "I mean I guess I woke up....but I still don't feel well..."  "Now that you mention it, I don't feel well myself either," Archer res  ponded, holding his abdomen.
SAIYAN:  "AAAAAAAAAH I CAN'T SEE! WHAT'S HAPPENING?!" Undershirt yelled as he r  an through the onsen before running face first into a wall.  Mesh Top was next to emerge, with her pants that seemed to keep fallin  g down. It was as though they had become too big for her. She looked o  ver to a mirror and saw that she did look a quite a bit thinner.  "Great now my pants wont fit and my shirt is falling off! This sucks!  This is gonna make me trip!" Mesh said as she shuffled to Undershirt.  Meanwhile, Wristband came out screaming as well. This seemed to be a r  eally common theme with that.  "WHY ARE MY ARMS LOOKING LIKE NOODLES?" She yelled as she started to f  lail them around, making Johnny Test whip cracking noises constantly.  Lastly, Tuxedo Jacket came out in a panic to the rest of the group, wi  th a very large right arm.  "Okay before anyone asks, no I wasn't jacking it! I woke up like this  I swear!" He yelled, trying to qualm any suspicions that may arise fro  m his condition
KURP:  As the chaos died down from one of the Angels suddenly turning into an   animal out of the blue, Gogo was still glued to Dermal's side. They o  bviously weren't feeling well and questioned why Dermal was just fine.  "Well you certainly do look better to me... For once. I feel like deat  h. Also...Also like I have a bit more-"  Their tongue launched out of their mouth, sticking on to Dermal's side  .  "A bit more tongue," they managed.  As they put their tongue back in, they gave Dermal a cheeky smile, poi  nting to their lips.  "Hey, I have an idea."
SOPHIE:  Scrunchy sighed. Her hair was a mess. She sat up and yawned, with all  the screaming there was  no way she'd get a good night sleep. She went   to brush her teeth and started to raise the brush to her mouth when i  t hit her.  She was a horse, with the head of a horse and the body of a human. And   a pertruding horn. My god she was a unicorn. Still. No sense in havin  g had breath in a fever dream. That's surely what this was.  Meanwhile, Witch hat was a bit more annoyed. She had kept shuffling wi  th the blankets on her bed, trying to stay warm. Finally, annoyed, she   cried out "CAN'T i JUST GET SOME DARN SLE-"  she paused, looking around.  Why was she on the ceiling?  All the while, Pumps was oblivious to this whole fiasco. She, with her   rather expensive noise-canceling headphones, was jamming out to a new   bop she was working on. Sleep was for the weak. It wasn't until the s  creaming got closer to her room that she even realized there was an is  sue. Not having gotten any sleep, she was currently on her 24th hour o  f consciousness. So, in her daze, she got up to check on what was happ  ening and forgot to unplug her headphones, her laptop blasting chiptun  e music at really loud volumes. Honestly if it were any other time she  'd rush to mute it but.. Jesus, this was weird. She went back and mute  d her laptop before walking out into the hall in her kitty-pajamas wit  h cat-eared headphones on. _What the hell was happening?_  PTJ was experiencing his golden years, as he woke up to the stench of  his own fart. Amazing. He shakily reached for the sides of his bed so  he could stand up, carefully limping out into the hallway. _"HWAT IS I  T? WHAT ARE YOU SAYIN? "_ he shouted, before coughing. That was when r  eality hit him. _He was now old enough to get senior discounts at loca  l food places._
EMI:  Dermal blinked in awe, staring the the gears were turning, even after  his little tag-a-long was just knocked into the next room by a flying  tongue. Then it clicked.  "Oh. /Oh./ I think we can adjust."
JAY:  Biretta eventually emerged from his own room, tears streaming down his   face, and his accent making him nearly unintelligible to anyone else.   "Good God, what's with all the noise!?" He cried out, his question se  eming only to make his intense sobbing worse. He must have been crying   for some time, his eyes both looking quite reddened.  With a sniffle, he spoke again, loudly, "I'm sure all of this noise is   what's, what's... M-making me cryyyaaaaaahaahaahaa..." He fell to his   knees, burying his face into his palms to try and wipe the tears off.
COFFIN:  Vampire Collar was running around screaming, his hair was fire. Ghost  rider who?  Dzilla currently had the fists of ~~Ugandan knuckles~~ Popeye. She was   cupping her grandson.  Mary Janes was dancing around, the boy made silver surfer look straigh  t. "I'M SO SHINEY LOOK AT MEEEEE!!! THIS IS GOING ON MY VLOG!!!"  Foxstole was sitting in a corner sobbing. She had layers, ogre layers.
ROMAN:  As they awoke from their slumber through the racket, Jersey lifted a r  uffled sleeve to rub at their eyes only to blanch at the sight. For so  me reason their shirt was... changing color! It was a slow, soft shift   which had them gaping at the sight. Peering down, they found it was t  heir skin as well, and had them pushing off the bed and busting out in  to the hallway, skidding on their feet as Jersey nearly collided with  the wall. "Wha-What's going on!?"
RYAN:  Thigh High sat up as she too was awoken by obnoxious screaming. "What  the actual FUCK is going on that I can't possibly get my beauty sle-"  But the angel was stopped short in her tracks as her face came into co  ntact with the ceiling. Reeling back in pain, she toppled to floor in  an ungraceful mess.  Thigh High screamed as she stared down at her body which wasn't respon  ding like it normally would. "Okay, when I said I wanted legs for days   tHIS ISN'T WHAT I MEANT!!!" The angel's eyes almost popped out of her   head as she saw her legs, which had extended to a ridiculous length o  ver the course of a few hours.
OMEGA:  In Raincoat's Room, she had just got out of the shower and looked into   the mirror. She saw that she was..Invisible!? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH  HHHHHH!!!" Raincoat screamed as she was now invisible. This was somewh  at freaky and cool nonetheless.  In Boxer's Room, he got up from bed though he felt lightly stiff. "Wha  t the hell..." Boxer said as he looks at his hand and he saw they were  ...Plastic!? "OH GOD! I AM A ACTION FIGURE!" Boxer screamed as he got  freaked out by this and tried to walk out of his room.  In Father Crucifix's Room, he got up from is bed and check outside of  his room. "What is going on?" Father Crucifix ask as he open his door  and looked around.
OWLIE:  "Ahhhhhhhh!" Henley came out of his room , his breathing was loud, as  though he was screaming. Even he felt annoyed with himself for being s  o goddamn noisy.  "Shut the fuck up, Henley Shit!" Cardigan said, still in her robe, she   held her clothes which was encased in a thick sheet of ice. "Why did  I became Elsa in all of a sudden?"  "Rawrrr!" Suspenders said, trying to say something, but only dinosaur  noises came out of his mouth "Rawrr... Rawrrr!" He pointed at Sneakers   who was apparently a gigantic cat with the most deadpanned face of al  l.
KURP:  "There's no adjusting, honey. You /owe/ me," they said as they went in   to grab Dermal.  Luna spoke but there was something wrong. Archer looked down at her. H  er lips were moving but she was unable to speak. He pointed down to he  r and attempted to speak himself but only ended up clucking. He droppe  d Luna, covering his mouth out of pure shock.  Slowly, he uncovered it and tried to speak only to keep clucking. He w  as now hyperventilating.  Luna was trying to comfort the poor Angel but her words weren't simply   coming out. In her frustration, she yelled, but it sounded like her v  oice was going through 20 speakers at once.  "I SAID ARE YOU OKAY-"  She too covered her mouth.  There was a ringing in Sukajan's ears as he tried to clean out his ear  s only to realize that his...ears aren't there anymore. There was a cl  unking noise and as he looked at his hands did he realize that he was  made out of...wood?  "Oh..."  His reaction was underwhelming to say the least.  Shades began to sob again, his face stuffed in Strappon's shoulder.
OSCARK9:  As Gloves woke up from bed from people screaming, it made him mad from   awaking from his 9 hours of beauty rest. "HEY!" Gloves shouted. "QUIT   SCREAMING YO-" As he was trying to finish his sentence, his nose was  starting to wiggle. "Yo-Yo-Yo-YACHOO!" He sneeze loudly. And after tha  t sneeze, he sneeze again, again, and again. Continuously sneezing and   he can't control it. "WHAT-"Choo", IS-"Choo", GO- "Choo", IN- "Choo"  ON- "Choo", HERE- "Choo"!"  Sapphire woke up from people screaming and was mad also, but why does  she feel so wet? Pulling from her cover, her whole body was cover in s  lime and it feels like a frog slim. "AAAHHH!" She scream. Freaking out   for having slim on her skin, she jump out of bed and with that first  step, she immediately slip on a hard floor, hurting her rump. "OW!" Sh  e said, hurting.
BRIT:  Strappon looked around at everyone that was piling into the lounge now   with wreckless abandon. He pet Shades' face gently.  "Everyone, calm down!" He called, standing from Shady's side, "I'm sur  e we can find a cure to this..."  But how?  Just then, Duster came walking in, practically pulling Hot Pants who w  as clearly an elderly man.  "There's something wrong with him!" Came the voice of a child out of D  uster mouth. He snapped his mouth shut and sighed. He sounded like he  was about 10. "And Cowlneck. He's..."  "Right here!" Cowlneck yelled, trying to climb onto Duster's shoulder.   He was... About 4 inches in height. He was a tiny man. "FIX THIS."
JAY:  "I don't understand..." Biretta sniveled, snot dripping from his nose.   He was on all fours, pounding at the floor while his tears stained th  e carpeting. "How could this happen!? Aaaauuugh..."  He curled up in an awkward squatting ball, continuing to bawl.
BUMBLER BEE:  Dirndl had had a wonderfully pleasant time in the springs, silently re  flecting on her place here, reflecting on her sins and wondering why s  he wasn't facing her metaphorical demons... Then, when she felt positi  vely refreshed she had robed up and ended up falling asleep reading. S  he awoke to shouts from the hall, a bit of a grouchy riser from surpri  se naps. In her lovely robe, she opened the door to the cacophony of c  haos, standing there and staring in confusion. her hair was half down  from a ponytail, looking a bit tired and all around disbelieving.  Then she opened her mouth.  "How are the bangs of sound going from me so much after sun stops?!" s  he yelled, holding her ears and stopping. "... When how say me much?"  Rosary would actually show up for something fun! A nun of duty, she wa  sn't above getting friendly with her Abbey dwellers and enjoy an Onsen   as well! Relaxation, time from responsibility... but there was a nigg  ling feeling in her gut about how serene this place was. She had gone  to sleep early, relishing in walking around almost naked and not being   yelled at AGAIN. Footsteps, screaming, wails of despair hit her ears  and her big ruby eyes sprung open. "?!" She ran out, some angels able  to note the little girl running in a robe down the hall; where the hel  l were her parents?  "Strappon! What's going on?!" came a high pitched, infantile sort of v  oice, the same little girl sliding in and holding out her hands. She s  tared at some of the Angels--and the alpaca-- with a serious gaze. "..  . I KNEW IT."
SOPHIE:  Pumps covered her ears and walked around the hall, peeking in on every  one who's door had swung open. She was blissfully aware this couldn't  be a dream since she never went to sleep. She looked at her phone scre  en with a tired expression and considered calling the authorities but  questioned what good that would do. This is Daten after all.  After wondering around in the hallway for a bit she heard Luna's voice   practically match the decibel output of her headphones and she winced  . Finding their door, Pumps gently knocked on it. "Hey--Everyones turn  ed into some fuckin rejected X-Men out here-- Are you guys ok? Can I c  ome In? Do I needa call the authorities?" She stammered, hesitantly.  Scrunchy was useless at this point, she was horsefaced making kissy fa  ces at herself in the mirror.  Witch hat on the other hand was trying to get out of her room. After t  urning her hat into a scythe, she latched it around one of the corner-  walls of her room and flung herself towards the door, spinning the scy  the to break it open. Fuck not causing property damage.
KURP:  Upon hearing Duster's voice, Shades lost it and started laughing. He m  ocked Duster by saying, "No swearing on /my Christiiiiaaan seeerveeeee  r/ ."  "Shades, oh my God," Sukajan said as his eyes landed on Cowlneck. "Her  e," he said, taking Cowlneck from Duster, "I'll take care of him. He's   technically still grounded."  Luna examined Hots who was not really paying any mind to anything that   was happening. He was deaf, probably blind as well, and he was consta  ntly chewing on what we could only assume to be tapioca.
COFFIN:  Mary Janes started running around in a circle. "I CAME OUTTA TWILIGHT  BOI! WEEEEE!!!" He screamed and started break dancing.  Vampire Collar started whipping his hair around,"This is kind of cool.   Mary- Jesus Christ he's naked.." He facepalmed.  Dzilla dragged her hands behind her,"Mary put on your clothes!!"  Foxstole was compelled to sing all stars but she held it in deep.
OMEGA:  Father Crucifix was in his clothing and looked at the Chaos the angels   have turn into. "By the Lord, what the hell happen to you two!" Fathe  r Crucifix said as he runs over to Boxer but not seeing Raincoat. "Whe  re is Rai-AH!" He screamed as something just grabbed his butt. "She in  visible..." Boxer said as he looked at Father Crucifix. "Hehehehehe~"  Raincoat chuckles as she started to like being invisible now. "Oh Moth  er..." Father Crucifix sigh as he didn't know what was going on.
RYAN:  Thigh High unceremoniously began crawling along the floor since it was   too much of a hassle to attempt to move around on her stilt-like legs  . Arriving at the gathering of everyone else, she let out a victorious   whoop before pulling herself into a sitting position, her legs sweepi  ng the floor uncaring of whatever victims lie in their warpath.    "Man am I ever glad that I got these guns to help me out." Thigh High  breathily laughed as she flexed her arms.
SAIYAN:  "Why is this happening to us?!" Wristband asked as she came up to Stra  ppon, causing her noodle arms to whip crack into his face.  "Oops, sorry about that."  Meanwhile, Mesh Top continued to look in the mirror as it felt like he  r pants and clothes were becoming looser and looser. It was almost lik  e she could see herself getting thinner and thinner.  "This is kinda getting scary, I hope we can fix this." She said to her  self.  Tuxedo Jacket used his giant fucking arm to pick Undershirt up. He wal  ked around a bit only to run into Duster and almost stepping on Cowlne  ck.  "Ooof, sorry, I really can't see" he said as he apologized.
VANIR:  "Oh, this is quite wonderful!" Ballgown in her every out of character  simple dress, fashionably late in all of her glory stepped into the in  n and was immediately met with activities to spare her for weeks. This   was a trip that took her out of her comfort zone for sure, she wasn't   keen on taking group trips but seeing as even she needed a break from   the blood and guts scene of being a fallen angel. Coming from a rich  family most of her trips were sided with guards more than friends. "I  could get used to this, despite the change... what on earth is happeni  ng?"
SOPHIE:  PTJ wondered around the halls, confused, before pulling out his phone  and blinking a few times, trying to call "Mom", aka Sukajan, but inste  ad, calling _"Mom",_ a lady whome he, in a better state of mind, hoped   he wouldnt have to ever speak to. As the phone went to voice mail and   he heard his actual mothers voice, he coughed and replied after the t  one in an elderly voice. _"You a bich"_ he wheezed, before hanging up,   and looking around. _"Bingo?!"_ he shouted. That wasn't what he meant   to say. Why'd he say bingo.  Witch hat latched onto one of Thigh high's rather.. long. Legs. "dEAr  gOD WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T LET ME GO PLEASE" She cried, clinging on as  the latter half of her body started to float up into the air as if she   were made of helium.
OWLIE:  "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Henley screamed, wait no, he just took a deep br  eath. Cardigan glared at him and was tempted to freeze his face. "Plea  se tell me we can fix this, I already ruined all of my clothes,"  "Meow...." Sneakers mewled, Suspenders let out an animalistic grunt as   he began petting Sneakers' head, who instinctively began purring. The  n Suspenders felt his face burn red as Sneakers' tail rub itself again  st his leg.  "Uhh... Rawrr...?"
SOUP-KITTY:  Jong very silently strolled in, he looked a little more. Wet. Than usu  al. They say when you're pregnant you start to glow not, that you're s  uddenly made out of entirely H2O. He gently glanced around the room an  d tried to find his Fiance. He was confused as to what was going on. T  here was a wet trail behind him. Someone should probably put a wet flo  or sign there.  Pointe ran around in circles silently flashing and growing more and mo  re anxious. God help her.
OSCARK9:  "Aww-ACHOO!" He sneeze, continuously still. "This-CHOO! Su-CHOO!" Glov  es grabs a tissue infront of him and blow.  "Tell me about it!" Sapphire said, upset. "I couldn't stand for five s  econd without falling on the floor. I mean look at my skins!" She show  s her layer of slim of arms to them while standing. "I'M SLIMY AS A-"  Her legs began to slip and slid like crazy, FRO-O-O-OG!" She fell to t  he floor and her rumps hurt once more. "OW!"  Gloves help Sapphire up while sneezing still. "We-CHOO, Nee-CHOO, A-CH  OO, Cure CHOO!"
SOPHIE:  PTJ was very confused in all of this. He couldn't quite figure out wha  t was what. After essentially ripping off a piece of the wall to use a  s a crutch, he wondered around, knocking on doors. _"I needa pharmacy!  "_ he yelled, fixing his.. well, they weren't his, but he was wearing  some glasses. He coughed and pushed past Pumps, towards Luna.  He fixed his glasses and leaned in. _"Are you a pharmacy?"_
RYAN:  "Never let go Jac- I mean Witch Hat!" Thigh High dramatically yelled a  nd reached towards her companion. "I can offer you a piggyback ride, s  ince that's probably a better option than my stupid gams, right now at   least."
KURP:  Even with the Angels wrapped around their old, wizened fingers, they w  ere far too loud for either Obi or Medallion to keep their mind on tra  ct. It's gotten to the point where Medallion started complaining enoug  h to annoy Obi.  "FINE," Obi said, throwing her hands to the side, "We'll put them in l  ittle vials, ship them off to the office, and deal with them there, HA  PPY?"  Medallion sighed as she rubbed her temples, "It's a lot better than si  mply dealing with their screaming and having them cause more property  damage than necessary."  With a consensus,  the twins gathered up supplies  and started making  their way to the Angels. As they got closer, something else was coming   into view. It was two people macking on each other and this caused bo  th twins to yell out in fear only to realize who it was.  "Oh, it's only you two," Medallion snorted.  "Get a room!" Obi said  "Shut it old hag, go back to doing your jobs," Gogo hissed as they wen  t back to basically sucking the air out of Dermal.
VANIR:  Despite the ruckus, she went on, her eyes scanning her surroundings in   concern and her hands stayed folded in on themselves in order to avoi  d touching anything suspicious. Making her way to the bath house blind  ly, making faces of disgust and heavy doses of avoidance towards anyon  e she saw that was affected. She could tell there was no way that she  could help these people so she felt it was safe to just, not even go n  ear them, mostly for fear of catching something. "Please tell me there   are normal people here..."
OMEGA:  Father Crucifix goes up to Strappon as he need to talk with him. "Brot  her Strappon, what is going on? Do you think this attack by Hellcorp?"   Father Crucifix ask as he looked at him. "Clearly this has be some ki  nd of magic or something like that." He said as he looked at Strappon.  "I'm a Action Figure!" Boxer said as he tries to move but he can't do  it that well. "Where the hell is Gogo!?" He shouted more as he getting   angry. "I'M SO ANGRY!" Boxer said as he does action figure pose but w  ith angry face.  Raincoat was petting Shades because she was invisible.
COFFIN:  Vampire Collar walked up to his fiance. "Notice anything different abo  ut me?" He moves his flaming hair around. "Wow you're really wet. Are  you okay? Hold onto me I don't want you to slip."  Mary Janes wiggled his butt around, "SHINE BRIGHT LIKE A DIAMOND!"  Dzilla flopped her face in her giant hand.  Foxstole broke mirrors.
BRIT:  "Wow, everyone is screaming." Jacket stated. He took a good look aroun  d the room at the freak show that seemed to be made up of his friends  and compatriots.  Strappon pinched the bridge of his nose, massaging it slightly.  "Everyone shut up!" Duster screamed like a little boy throwing a fit.  He sat with a huff next to Hot Pants and opened another convenient cup   of tapioca and handed it to him. Keep him entertained so he doesn't b  reak anything. God he hated old people, they were so funny-looking.  "Thank you Duster." Strappon said, dusting himself off, "Now, if every  one will /remain calm/, we can talk about this. Let's split up and loo  k for some clues as to why this happened. I have a sneaking suspicion  the ladies who run this place have something to do with this."  "I'll pop 'em!" Jacket said, swinging his arm in an air-punch. A vase  fell over behind him, almost falling in him, but he hopped to miss it.  "No, that's elder abuse." Cowlneck yelled from the floor. He was almos  t stepped on, and he kicked Undershirt in response. "You damn ruffian!   Watch where your awful, clumsy feet land! You could have /crushed/ me  !"
BUMBLER BEE:  Rosary slowly calmed down, realizing everyone here was... suddenly tal  ler. "What the fuuuuu..." she said, walking into the room and looking  at Ballgown incredulously before trying to push through the panicking  mass of Heavenly rejects.  Dirndl would walk in behind Ballgown calmly, confused and hair still m  essy. "For how come the letter mixes are hearing so mumble-jumbled?!"  she asked as the room quieted, extending her arms out.
SOPHIE:  Pumps blinked, completely out of her element. She mindlessly drudged t  hrough the hallway, headphones around her neck. 911 was punched in on  her phone but she was so sleep deprived she couldn't commit to calling   the authorities. She suddenly was awoken out of her tired daze by a s  trobing light-- THE POLICE?  NO!  HER SISTER!  Her sister?  HER SISTER! WHAT THE HECK!  Pumps picked up her younger sister and threw her over her shoulder. _"  You know, I leave for 5 hours to find my laptop, I come here, and ever  yone's a knock off xman. Come on you freaky flashlight, I'm gunna pop  someone for this bullshit. I was about ready to SLEEP."_
SOPHIE:  Witch hat cried, nodding slightly at Thigh High's proposal. "Yeah, pro  bably-" she whimpered, zero-G pushing off of T-Pain's legs and sweepin  g around to her neck where she grabbed on from behind. "You know, any  other time I'd love to float, but now? ffUCK THIS."
SOUP-KITTY:  Jong looked at vamp and softly sighed. "Im literally just water right  now how I even have a corporeal form eludes me." he tried his best to  not get his beloved wet but to no avail. He held on to him regardless,   it would be bad if he slipped on himself. "maybe theres a container y  ou can carry me around in so i don't just, leak everywhere?"  Pointe was caught off guard at this and tried to wiggle out of it but  it was as if someone really had called 9-1-1 cause the girl was strobi  n'. She opted to stay still. The strobing stopped.
SOPHIE:  Pumps held her phone up to Pointe and groaned. "Call the police if you   want, though I doubt that'll do us any good. Also, good morning princ  ess, the earth says help, and uh, Update, your boyfriends in his golde  n years I think. So try not to think about his dick."  Scrunchy casually walked out of the hallway and flipped her beautiful  mane for everyone to see. That's when she realized this wasn't a dream   and she let out a rather confused and scared honk.
OMEGA:  Father Crucifix went to find the Old Ladies so he could talk to them.  Boxer went to go find Gogo to know where they were. Raincoat was still   petting Shades because he was fluffy pink alpaca.
KURP:  While this invisible force was petting him, Shades was eating a nice o  l'big plate of hay depressingly. It's all he could do at the moment as   he was slowly coming to accept that he was now stuck like this. An al  paca who's only good for acting and some other skeezy stuff. And his w  ool. Don't forget his soft wool.  Sukajan gave a thumbs up to Strappon as he got Luna to tag along with  him, Archer sticking close to Luna as if it was his duty or some shit.  "Oh good," Sukajan started, "The self proclaimed body guard, I definit  ely feel much safer."  Archer huffed, crossing his arms at Sukajan's comment before his eyes  widened, pointing to Sukajan's face.  "What..?" Asked Sukajan as he noticed his nose extending. Oh great, he  's Pinochio.  "Fan-fucking-tastic. ALRIGHT, let's just go before those two oba-sans  split."  Hots meanwhile entertained himself with the second cup of tapioca. Del  icious  Haber was confused as he approached Duster, twiddling his hair in betw  een his fingers. He was definitely nervous but he'd rather be nervous  than feeling bad for suddenly ditching the other kid. He wasn't a peop  le person, after all.
COFFIN:  Vampire Collar blinked,"Huh.." He looked around and found a bucket. "W  ill this do darling? It's all I've saddly got nothing else."  Mary Janes was spinning around on the floor, thing his flashlight on h  imself. "I'm so shineeeeeeey Jong lookie!!"
OMEGA:  "Now where are those two?" Father Crucifix ask himself as he was looki  ng around for Obi and Medallion. Father Crucifix didn't know what was  going on but he had his theories. He thought this might be a demon att  ack or maybe a ghost. Either way he was going to find out what is happ  ening.  "Gogo!" Boxer called out as he looked around for them. He was walking  like a action figure which he wasn't liking.  Raincoat was still petting Shades this time under his chin. She was re  ally having a fun time with this.
OSCARK9:  Hearing Strappon orders, Gloves looks for some clues along with Slippe  ry Sapphire and since it's dangerous for her to be walking with no blu  e sandals on, she ask Gloves for assistance. Gloves nod to her and sne  eze at the same time, holding her slimy waist side, both are off to se  arch for clues.
SOPHIE:  PTJ was playing go-fish with a wall, and the wall was winning.
SAIYAN:  Undershirt felt like he was bit by a mosquito as he was kicked by Cowl  neck. To be honest, he really couldn't go anywhere without running int  o something so he decided that it would be best for him to stay put.  Meanwhile, Noodleband ran into Dirndl and Ballgown.  "Oh hey, I didn't know you were here, Dirndl! I would say glad you cou  ld make it but... you know" she said to her as her noodle arms whip cr  acked into Dirndl's face.  "But I say we start looking for those two ladies and see if they know  anything."  Meanwhile, TJ and Mesh walked over to Jong. Mesh Top somehow managed t  o make it over there without tripping more than 5 times.  "Oh hey, you're Jong right? I haven't had much of a chance to talk wit  h you" Tuxedo Jacket said.  "Yeah same here, I wish we could talk under some easier circumstances"   Mesh top said.
SOUP-KITTY:  Jong somehow managed to fit in the bucket? Honestly fuck physics and t  he laws of conservation of matter or whatever the fuck field of scienc  e this is relevant to, hes bucket-husband now. Blessed be.  Pointe meanwhile, shrieked and catched on fire- hades style- and screa  med "PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUT MY BOYFRIEND'S DICK-" It was in that mo  ment she had noticed PTJ losing against the wall. Holy shit.
KURP:  Gogo nearly sputtered inside of Dermal's mouth as he heard Boxer's voi  ce in the distance. They pushed Dermal away, wiping their mouth on a c  onveniently pulled out napkin.  "That'll have to do for now. Unless you want to make the boy-toy angry  ?" They asked, quirking a brow.
OWLIE:  Sneakers' head perked up as he thought something moved near Mary Janes  ' feet. Fuck, it was a red dot. He began to chase after it, nearly kno  cking Mary Janes over as he tried to catch it.  Cardigan and Suspenders turned to look at Henley, he is both laughing  and screaming at the same time at the top of his lungs, he had a laser   pointer in his hand.  "Stop that!" Cardigan chided, normally she would've joined in but she'  s too pissed, she grabbed the laser pointer and immediately ice spread   around it.
COFFIN:  Vampire Collar held his husband close to his chest. "You're really cut  e in a bucket ya know." He kissed his water boy's head.  Mary Janes screeches as the giant cat knocks him down. "KITTY HI." He  pets his friend.
SOPHIE:  Pumps rolled her eyes and sighed. "Yeah yeah, whatever you say Hades."   She groaned, carying her sister over her shoulder. "So, I'm trying to   think. I figured you guys ate dinner here right? Since you didnt have   dinner before you left for this place last night..  I showed up later   and just sat around when everything went to shit. So. Something in th  e food? I don't know. "  Pumps sighed, walking down the hall and past PTJ. She tapped his back  and firmly stated "ASK IF THEY HAVE ANY 3'S" And the boy nodded, then  promptly yelling Bingo afterwards.  Upon hearing that, Pumps groaned and back-tracked, walking over to PTJ   and lifting him up. "Come on. You come too." She muttered.  "Are we going to go get some werthers originals?" He asked. excited.  Pumps sighed and looked around for Luna. Maybe she could ask her for i  nformation.  PTJ looked towards Pointe and blinked. "H-Hey, Pointe-- Is that you?"  He grumbled. "The f-food here was shit. I told you so. Y-aaaa boi was  right, schmookums." He winked. Before exhaling. _"I don't know what is   happening with my dialect right now."_
EMI:  Dermal gasped for air after his throat was cleared of muscle and he po  litely dabbed the spit from his face. He cleared his throat.  "I could care less who I get angry. I guess we should be more involved   in this plot, then..."
RYAN:  Readjusting Witch Hat, Thigh High began to try and stand up. "Alright  hold on my dude, I'm gonna try to stand up so uh, let me know if I get   too close to the ceiling." She announced as she moved as slowly as po  ssible.  "It's gonna be a long day if I have to crawl the whole way, considerin  g it is the only method of transportation that won't flail my legs aro  und like a skip it game from hell." Thigh High sheepishly laughed.
OMEGA:  Boxer soon found Gogo and saw them with Dermal. "What the hell are you   doing with him?" Boxer ask as he glared at Dermal. Seeing that face o  f his made him want to punch it but he knew that couldn't so he hold i  n the anger.
BUMBLER BEE:  Dirndl smiled in relief. At least Wristband was here. She was smart, s  he was capable...  She had fucking taffy arms.  Dirndl nodded to her friend's words in understanding, shouting out as  she was whipped in the face. "GAH! The skin of my face that is of owni  ng to self! OW!" she said, hunched over a moment before taking a breat  h. This was a weird night. "... Is it right all." she said, putting he  r hands out in front of her.  Rosary had gone to Strappon, still unaware of her own sordid fate. "Th  at two old hags...!" she said, sticking out her lip and pouting under  her dark hair. "What, did I get shrunk or something else out of a 90s  trope?" she shook her hands, laughing calmly.
SOUP-KITTY:  Jong smiled at Vampire Collar and quickly the smile turned into a grim  ace, for he had heard Boxer's voice. He somehow retreated further into   the bucket. "oh god please not today" he whispered.  Pointe silently reached for PTJ's hand, and held it. This was very fre  aky but she still loved him very much. As she did this, she went into  police siren mode and strobed for a hot sec.She quietly smiled at him.
KURP:  "How much more do we need to be involved outside of macking and acting   sketchy?" Gogo asked, pointing to what we could presume to be the aud  ience.  They sighed as they heard Boxer coming in on them. They turned around  to him, not smiling nor anything.  "Listen, Boxer. Dear. There are just some things you can't give me tha  t Dermal can. I'm just doing what I can to survive you could say and D  ermal here owes me," they said, pinching Dermal's cheeks.  "What we have is more of a publicity thing to help you."  As Sukajan and his group moved around, they come across another elderl  y man and Sukajan recognizes this to be PTJ. If he wasn't made of wood  , he would feel his heart sinking.  "What happened to him?" He asked, going in to assess PTJ.
OWLIE:  "Meow..?" Sneakers purred as he rubbed his face against Mary Janes han  d. Suspenders huffed a bit as he watched from the distance.  "Rawr..." He said with a hint of annoyance in his voice. Cardigan chuc  kled.
COFFIN:  Vampire Collar blinks and shoves the bucket in his robe. "Not to fucki  ng day bitch." He saddled away.  Mary Janes was break dancing on the floor but it looked a lot like a s  eizure. He was trying his best. He gave the giant kitty a kiss on the  nose, not knowing it was Sneakers.
SAIYAN:  Wristband looked inquisitively at Dirndl. She wasn't sure what she was   saying if she was being honest. It was like she was saying random wor  ds together. Maybe it was a foreign thing.  "Anyway, you want to help me look for those two?" she asked her.
EMI:  "So no head?" Dermal asked flatly.  "Oh, well whatever. Why are you so..." He gestured to all of Boxer. "I   mean, more than usual, anyway."  Dermal walked into the next room and saw the cacophony of afflicted an  gels doing... Well, Angel things.
OMEGA:  "So, your basically fucking him?" Boxer ask as he point to Dermal. "Li  sten, i want my job back so how about you focus on that." He said as h  e looked at Gogo then at Dermal. "Pride and Lust, wow, you are really  good Seraph. Can't when you get promoted to Fallen Angel." Boxer said  as he looks at him as he watched him go into the room.
SOPHIE:  Pumps looked at Sukajan and sighed. "Hell if I know, boy keeps flippin  g between talking like an old fart and just straight up farting. It's  concerning. Meanwhile my sister here-" She paused, to shake Pointe (wh  o was over her shoulder) "Is a functioning strobe light."  PTJ slowly waved his free hand and smiled. "I bet allll aces at poker  night back at the retirement home sonny-" he coughed, placing his hand   on his back. "Ok. Seriously, this being old is getting old real fast.   I think the food was messed with, I felt like crap after eating. Why  are you-" He coughed, "Whats a whippersnapper like you bein made outa  wood for, ma?"  Pumps exhaled. "Have you seen Luna around by the way? There's so much  chaos going on right now I just-- this is freaky as hell."  PTJ looked very confused.
OWLIE:  Sneakers was shooketh, but he didn't  moved away, in fact, he's actual  ly enjoying it. Meanwhile Suspenders watched Mary Janes kiss Sneakers'   nose and let out a loud roar.  He walked over them and put his arms around Sneakers' furry neck and g  rowled lightly as if he was saying '_He's mine_'
BRIT:  Duster pulled Shady along with a sign and headed in one direction.  "I'll take Shady to see what I can do about calming him down." He said  , petting his fluff, "You go ahead and find the old ladies."  Strappon nodded and turned to see a few other people had gone looking.  "Alright, official split. If anyone else would like to head on with me  , I'll be checking their offices." He said, "There's quite a bit of ch  aos already, so I don't doubt they've hidden themselves."  Jacket ran up to Suspenders and Sneakers, gasping at the sight of a la  rge cat.  "Wow, a cat! Who is this supposed to be??" He asked, looking up and do  wn trying to figure it out. He tapped his chin. "Wow, this is pretty f  ucked up, huh?"
COFFIN:  Mary giggled and continued to kiss the kitty's face.  Mary heard the r  oar and he rised a brow.  "You didn't do that kitty?" Mary saw Suspend  ers and he frowned. "Hey! I wanna kiss the kitty!" He crossed his arms  .  Foxstole floped on the floor. "HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET DICK LIKE THIS  ???"
EMI:  "What I do is none of your business, Boner." Dermal said, waving his h  and dismissively. "And whatever Gogo decides to do with you is none of   mine."  He spun around and poked Boxer's nose.  "I may help along the way, so  you might want to change that cute little attitude of yours. You do a  great job at losing your titles, don't you?"
VANIR:  Regretting ever stepping foot in this place she backtracks almost imme  diately. She went to her room, sat down at one of the armchairs provid  ed and headed a great big sigh. "I'm too old for this."
SOPHIE:  Scrunchy, upon seeing Jacket, galloped over to her best friend and spu  ttered, sadly. _"JACKET, I THOUGHT I WAS HAVING A NIGHTMARE, or a real  ly good dream BUT ITS A REAL NIGHTMARE-"_ She cried out, gesturing to  her uni-horn. ___"I MEAN LOOK AT ME, I'M HORNY-"___
JAY:  "Oh god, we're all... All... Fuuuuhuhuhuuucked!" Biretta lamented, per  haps a little too much, considering he had been crying like an infant  child for the last 15 minutes. At the very least, he was able to get b  ack on his feet, tears streaming down his face and staining more and m  ore of his soaking robe.  "I... *Sniff* I'll go with you, venerable... L-leader... Ahuhuuu... I'  m so sorry, I can't... H-help this..." Biretta was physically trying t  o fight the crying, but only managed to snivel and let tears build up  until it was difficult to see. Still, he tried to give Strappon a reas  suring smile.
OWLIE:  "Rawwrr!" Suspended glared at him, then at Jacket, Sneakers looked aro  und, confused at the attention he's getting.  "I feel you sister, no one's gonna want a handjob from me because I mi  ght give them a frostbite" Cardigan said to Fox Stole with an annoyed  sigh.
OSCARK9:  When they turn their heads at Strappon to hear that he's going to thei  r office. "What for us Strappon!" Sapphire said to him. Both of them w  alk to him steady like.  "We-CHOO, right-CHOO, Be-CHOO, Hin-CHOO YO-HOO!" Gloves said, sneezing   hard.  "Blush you, Gloves." She said, feeling bad for him.
KURP:  "If the food's the cause, then the food turned me into Pinochio," Suka  jan said as he pointed behind him.  Luna was there, she waved to Pumps with a little smile. Archer waved a  s well, just behind Luna.  "They can't speak because Luna destroys things with her voice if she r  aises it and bird boy here is finally a chicken."  Archer clucked angrily at Sukajan before shutting himself up.  "WHAT can calm me down, Duster? /Tell me/, what?" He said, walking in  the direction Duster was taking him, if anything he walked around like   he had ants in his wool.  "I can't do anything with these hooves!"  "You see dear?" Gogo said, turning to Boxer, "If you behave, we all be  nefit."
VANIR:  Throwing her head back, she sighed once again then stood to look throu  gh her dresses which were neatly hung in the closet. She chose and ove  r the top bathrobe and left her room once again to avoid any contact f  rom any other heaven-bent or fallen angel along the halls, and when me  t with one she would shield her eyes and walk pass them in order to ru  sh into the hot spring so she can calm her nerves. "This is a nightmar  e, oh boy is this a nightmare."
BUMBLER BEE:  Dirndl pouted to her companion, thinking back to the over seasoned mea  l they'd been served... glaring. "The women of rapid life length! Fuck  !" she stared at her mouth at the word. She had meant to say 'damn it  all.' She nodded. "Myself shall went to the bad person by for you." sh  e said to Wristband, using something new Wristy had taught her; finger   guns.  Rosary tapped her little foot, looking up as Strappon called for a gro  up to go. "Here, I'll go with you, Strappon." she said, hands on her n  onexistent hips and not noticing a damn thing wrong with that. She had   trouble getting to his side, though she was pretty quick for being ba  refoot.
OMEGA:  Boxer was about to punch him but he stopped, he was going to hold his  anger in. "Shut up, you know nothing about me." Boxer said as he point  s back at him. He then turns around and starts to walk away but then t  urn to look at Gogo. "Come on, we are searching for clues." He said as   he walks to away to search for clues.  Father Crucifix was searching for Obi and Medallion.  Raincoat was riding on Shades as she keeps petting him.
COFFIN:  Mary Janes death glared Suspenders. He walks up to Sneakers and he kis  ses his snoot. He walks away flipping the pinkie.  Dzilla sobbed and Foxstole screamed.  Vampire Collar was looking around with his pregnant husband to be.
KURP:  Gogo yawned, tapping Dermal on the shoulder, "Hey, at least pretend to   care for a bit. Gotta keep your quota up."  They giggled at the thought of looking for clues, taking out a compact   mirror from God knows where.  "Clues? No. My mirror needs me."
SOUP-KITTY:  Jong occasionally peeked out of his bucket to help search for clues.  Pointe just stared at her boyfriend and held his hand reassuringly.
BRIT:  Strappon pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and sighed, handing i  t off to Biretta and then petting his shoulder.  "You should drink something, you're probably going to get dehydrated a  t this point." He said.  He handed another handkerchief to Gloves.  "We have to speak with them. If they're not there, then we need to loo  k, they can't be far."  Strappon just looked around at the group gathering by him, almost inst  inctively grabbing Rosary's hand.  "Alright, let's go."  Jacket backed up a little, raising his hands defensively.  "Whoa, it's okay, Dino-boy! I like cats, it's cool!" He laughed, befor  e seeing a unicorn-headed Scrunchy come running at him. He almost shit   himself, to be honest. "SCRUNCH-??"  "Now, Shades," Duster began, trying to sound as adult as possible whic  h only resulted in him sounding like a child mimicing an authority fig  ure in a mocking tone, "maybe if you relax, you can actually tell us w  hat happened before all this. A bath will do you good to clear your he  ad."  He gingerly pet Raincoat on the head. There was an invisible girl ridi  ng his brother...  Duster headed into the main bath area and was greeted by what looked l  ike an apothecary. There were various bottles of different colors and  sizes all lined up around the edge.
SOPHIE:  Pumps blinked and waved at the two of them, nudging Pointe for her pho  ne back. Once in hand she held it towards Luna. "here, you can type up   stuff and use text to voice? Or if you know ASL, I gotcha covered the  re."  PTJ cracked his knuckles before breaking his hand and sighing. That wa  sn't smart. "Sonny, I got a plan. It takes old people to ___find___ ol  d people. I'll be your personal bloodhound."
EMI:  "You look perfect, darling. Let the peons search for their secrets, we   have careers to fix, don't we?" Dermal hummed, putting his arm around   them and taking a peek into their mirror for himself.
OMEGA:  Raincoat continue riding and petting the pink Alpaca that is Shades.
SOPHIE:  Wherever cuddles was, she was still hot and ready.
OSCARK9:  "Tha-Choo! Yo-OOO!" Gloves said to Strappon as he took the handkerchie  f and glow it.  As they noded to him, they follow Strappon.
OWLIE:  Suspenders rolled his eyes as he watch Mary and Jacket walk away. He p  ulled Sneakers closer to him. At this point Sneakers was too uncomfort  able with the attention, he broke free of Suspender's grasp and began  walking around. Henley was still screaming and Cardigan kept complaini  ng while dragging her hand on the wall, leaving a trail of ice.
KURP:  Gogo huffed, shoving Dermal away and closing their mirror, "Anyway..."
 Shades stared at the apothecary, arching a brow in curiosity. He got c  loser to it, sniffing it a little bit and looking around.  "This...Gives me some Disney movie vibes. You know the one I'm referri  ng to, right?" He would not forgive his mother if Duster had not watch  ed the Emperor's New Groove.  Luna nodded as she grabbed the phone. She texted and put the speak to  talk option.  "Do old people just have a radar for each other?"
COFFIN:  Vampire Collar pet his water boy. He loved his shape of water boy. He  searched more of the storage rooms.  Mary found the kitty and used the light of his phone to make mini make  shift pointers. "Mr or Ms kitty! I have pointers."  Dzilla dragged her hands behind her and teamed up with Foxstole. "This   suuuuucks ass." Fox groaned.
JAY:  Biretta nodded in agreement with Strappon, dabbing at his face with it   to try drying at least some of the tears covering his face. Pulling a   jar of holy water from his robe, he opened the bottle to drink, but q  uickly cried out again.  "Aaack... Aaaahaahaaa... I-I forgot, I filled this with... W-with fuck  ing vodkaaahaahaa... I'll just drink Jong if I'm thirstyyyhee... I gue  ss..."
COFFIN:  "You will dehydrate." Vamp sped walked past Biretta.
OWLIE:  Sneakers heard Mary call him and he bounded after the light, trying to   catch it with his paws, yowling a bit when he can't catch it. Damn th  at light, why can't he catch it?
JAY:  Biretta's crying got notably louder.
SAIYAN:  Wristband just shook her head at Dirndl. It was obvious that this was  her condition that she was given.  "I'll just pretend I understood what you said" she said.
COFFIN:  Mary Janes shined the light on himself and he danced around. God was c  ertainly a vegan. He dooted over to the kitty and he hugged Sneakers.  "Fluffy!"
/LAST TIME ON DCM/: Angels were invited to have a little stay at a local onsen thanks to Mis s Pleats. As Angels were enjoying their stay, many began to feel ill sho rtly after dinner and all Hell broke loose when Shades appeared before e veryone as a pink, talking alpaca. Once Strappon managed to calm everyone and tried to device a plan, more and more Angels appeared with afflictions. In the chaos, he deduced that these afflictions had something to do with the elderly pair of twins an d split up his Heavenbents to search for them. Just who are these twins? Will everyone revert back to their normal selv es? Will Shades have to deal with his hooves? We'll find out today!
OMEGA:  Father Crucifix was looking for those old ladies trying to find out wh  ere they were last time. Boxer was looking for clues but that was hard   for he was plastic and Raincoat was riding Shades the Alpaca as she p  et him. So, Yeah everything was going good.
OSCARK9:  Following Strappon group, Gloves was holding Sapphire's waist line so  she wouldn't fall to the floor and constantly sneezing the other direc  tion, away from others from his cold. He looks like a sick dog that ha  d a bad flu on a 4th of July and he really hate this affliction so muc  h and if this keeps up, he might blow others away by his sneeze while  getting a bloody nose. Luckily, he doesn't have bloody nose, just clea  r snots, but lets not jinx it. Continuously walking, he pulls out the  handkerchief from his left pocket that Strappon gave him and blow his  nose into it. Not to hard, but letting some of the snots out. ("God gi  ve me strength.") He thinks to himself.  Sapphire looks at Gloves and feels bad for the poor guy being sick wit  h this affliction. Keeping steady, she patted his back with her slimy  hand with her right hand. Even though it's stupid to touch others with   her slimy hand, she letting him know that he's doing a good job keepi  ng her steady.  Gloves felt the slime as she pet his back and it did made shiver a lit  tle, but regardless, he gave her a light smile in return.
VANIR:  Stepping into the inn, Mirror Mask was met with Ballgown, who had call  ed Yeezy, who had called Mirror. He had a reason he refused to come al  l this way for a vacation, he hated going out of his comfort zone more   than Ballgown did. Though the problem sounded much more serious when  he heard that it was Ballgown who needed him. She usually can keep eve  rything under control herself. He kept it in mind to give her his numb  er after this was worked out.  "Oh, gosh! Mirror Mask! Please help everyone has gone crazy, and I'm a  ctually starting to think I might be hallucinating, it's insane here!"   She was obviously stressed to no end, and she was met with a simple n  od of the man's head. His head swiveled carefully over the area and al  lowed her to lead him to the heart of the problem.
OWLIE:  Sneakers purred, he rubbed his head against his friend as he felt Mary   Janes hugged him.  Cardigan was already tired of everything, she was cold, everything she   touch freezes, she can't even dress properly. _Fuck, this sucks ass_  She thought as she walked around the halls.  Henley tried to hold his breath in order to stop his loud, screaming b  reathing. His face became a bit blue as he held it in for a few second  s before gasping for air and resumed screaming.
SAIYAN:  Mesh Top kept looking around for the two old ladies that ran the shop,   all of the while trying to keep her pants up, which wasn't going very   well. Eventually she just got frustrated from having to deal with the  m that she just kicked them off.  "There, that's better, I do hope we can get this fixed" she said walki  ng back to Strappon.  She was just too lazy to keep looking, so she just sat down on the flo  or next to him. She was sure that someone would be able to find them.
BUMBLER BEE:  Dirndl slumped as Wristband gave her such cruel words. "I am to speaki  ng of my sorry. A pair of we shall found the elderly double children!"   she said, her tone changing to one of determination. She took her hai  r full down, hair golden like a daffodil framed a pure face, fire in g  reen eyes. At least she was still pretty...  Rosary had begun to walk when... STRAPPON GRABBED HER HAND. She stared  , little mouth smiling giddily as she felt it. "Ohoho!" she said, laug  hing at the turn of events. "Afraid to lose me, Sir Strappon?" she ask  ed teasingly, her giggle high pitched and definitely the sound a happy   child. She coughed lightly; serious stuff. She could wait for Strappo  n's confession! "Where do you think they would be hiding?"
COFFIN:  Mary Janes giggled and he smooched his friends cheek. "C'mon kitty, we  're gonna find these old ladies and show em who's boss!" He squeaked.  The disco ball boy lead the way, using his teddy as a flashlight where   they needed it.  Vampire Collar was trying really hard not to accidentally boil his lov  er.  He kept the bucket close to his hips.  Foxstole and Dzilla were looking together, well, Fox was sitting on Dz  illa's massive hands while she dragged the angel. "You are no help ugl  y woman."
SAIYAN:  Wristband smiled. Even though Dirndl was talking like a person just le  arning English, she was able understand her enough.  "Yeah! And when we find them, I'm gonna whip them into submission! Now   let's go searching!" she said before marching onward.
VANIR:  Ballgown did her best to track down Strapon to inform him that Mirror  Mask was here to help with hunting down the culprit of this mess. Once   she found him she informed him of why Mirror was there in the first p  lace. He wasn't even in his normal attire, just in his mask and a tank   top with sweatpants, he was definitely here on short notice to help h  is fellow angels out.  "So sorry to stop you at this moment Strapon but I brought someone of  use to hopefully make this go a little faster!"
OWLIE:  Sneakers followed Mary while an agitated-looking Suspenders trailed be  hind them.  Henley decided to tag along Gloves and Sapphire Necklace. His screams/  breaths echoed throughout the halls. Cardigan went with Dzilla and Fox   Stole, she giggled at Dzilla's statement.  "Come on now, Dzilla, she's not ugly, in fact she looks..." Cardigan t  hought of other words "...Exotic?"
BRIT:  Strappon looked down at Sister Rosary with a curious expression.  "I'm going straight to their office first. There's a chance they'll be   there, of course." He explained. He nodded at Ballgown and Mirror Mas  k, "Thank you for your assistance. We need more... Less afflicted eyes  ."  Gloves sneezed again, causing Strappon to flinch. He picked up a box o  f tissues nearby and handed them to him, then watched as Wristband beg  an to storm off.  "Let's head to the office."  He guided them to the main office and knocked firmly on the door, wait  ing for the response.  "Excuse me, madams!" He called, "We would like to have a word with you  . This is incredibly important."  In the meantime, Duster had approached the strange bottles by the bath   and tried to see if he could read the labels. Of course, they were no  t labeled at all. Of course. Cowlneck hopped off his shoulder to see i  f he could find any use for them.  "Maybe we can try throwing a few of these in to see if they work?" He  asked, still sounding very much like a child, "Can't make you any wors  e. If anything, you'll change color, or into something with thumbs."  "Come on! At least one of these should say 'DRINK ME' so I could get b  igger!" Cowlneck whined.
COFFIN:  Mary held his teddy on his shoulder, it's glowing eyes stared at Suspe  nders. Creepy.  Dzilla kept walking and searching. She turned to Cardigan, "I will put   it more gently. She looks like the rotted cheese of a goat." She nodd  ed, accurate statement.  Foxstole huffed and crossed her arms, "Says the one with yaoi hands on   steroids." She laid on her hands.
VANIR:  Mirror Mask nodded and left a gentle touch to Ballgowns shoulder as a  signal to just go to her room and wait it out. She understood and took   no time in arguing, shuffling off to the rooms. He followed Strapon w  ithout question, and stood behind him patiently, listening and waiting  .
SOPHIE:  PTJ was lost, in plain sight the old man boy was lost. He seemed insis  tent on yelling bingo while looking at an uno card he found in his poc  ket to double check that it was, in fact, _"a bingo"._ He had slipped  away from Pumps for what seemed like a single minute before becoming h  opelessly lost again.
OSCARK9:  Gloves and Sapphire turn their heads towards Henley as he approach to  them. Even though Henley voice went up to eleven, Gloves is still happ  y to see him join the group. "Well-Choo, come-Choo!" Gloves said, snee  zing in the other direction. His head turn towards Strappon as he gave   him a box of tissues, "Tha-choo, yo-OOO!" He said to Strappon, receiv  ing the box, pull two tissues out, and blowing into it. Again, not too   hard and trying to prevent bloody nose.  Sapphire wave to Henley to as a sign of a 'Hello' with a light smile o  n her face.
OMEGA:  Father Crucifix was still looking around for the ladies soon finding h  imself with Strappon Group and seeing Ballgown. "Miss Ballgown, it is  good to see you again." Father Crucifix said to her with a smile on hi  s face.  Boxer was looking for Clues and Raincoat was still petting and riding  Shades the Alpaca.
BUMBLER BEE:  The little Sister nodded, smiling confidently. Straight, concise, to t  he point! She thought, glad to have her hand held. Whatever they did t  o her made it so hard to walk at a grown man's pace! "Good, I like thi  s plan!  We'll show them what fo-" she stopped to let Strappon speak o  ut sternly, and... knock. Rosary blinked.  No. No freakin' way. She stared blankly at the door, then Strappon, th  en the door. "I'm going to say they're probably not in there. If they  are they're senile and even more stupid than I thought. Here, I'm gonn  a break it down!" she said excitedly, lifting her foot and hopping for  ward in an attempt to kick it down!  Strappon felt the little hand exit his and Sister Rosary land flat on  the floor with a >thud!< and groan of discomfort after her foot feebly   hit the wood.  Dirndl nodded to Wristband's statement, cracking her knuckles and grin  ning. "And so! How far to place looking in the beginning?" she asked,  wondering where to search first.
KURP:  "Drinking won't fix everything, Cowlneck," Shades huffed as he looked  at his reflection in the water.  There wasn't anything to lose... Well, more than he already lost. What   could possibly go wrong? Duster's probably right. At least he may tur  n into something with thumbs so he can play games and draw. He walked  into the water and lied down.  "Alright, well. Hit me."  Sukajan was in deep thought before he snapped back into reality, reali  zing he somehow lost his boy. Or. His boy had disappeared all of a sud  den. He was freaking out. He held up his finger to Pumps as he went of  f to find PTJ.  Luna came in closer to Pumps, considering she did have the other's pho  ne, and considering she'd stick with Pumps she tried to shoo off Arche  r. He's a nice kid and all, but insufferable.  Archer got the memo and huffed a cluck, crossing his arms as he stompe  d off. Fine, he'll look for the old ugly oba-sans by himself and he'll   be the hero of the day. It didn't take long until he bumped into Tuxe  do Jacket who he clucked at loudly for just being in his way.
OWLIE:  Henley Shirt just gave Sapphire a small smile and, waved back meekly.  Cardigan snorted and burst out laughing, stopping for a split second a  s she almost clapped Dzilla in the back.  Suspenders averted his eyes and began sweating nervously as he saw Mar  y's teddy bear bore its creepy eyes at him.
SAIYAN:  TJ just jumped back at the clucking madman that was Archer.  "Boy what the fuck?! Why are you clucking at me?!" he yelled.  Meanwhile, Wristband stopped her march and tapped her chin. She though  t about where to start their search and eventually just came up with t  he idea to start looking in every room that this place had.  "I guess we start our search here" She said as she whipped her arm tow  ards the closest door to them, hoping that Dirndl would open it for he  r.
SOPHIE:  Pumps pat Luna's shoulder rather gently and tried to be re-assuring. "  Hey, some of the best time spent together is in silence." She smiled,  holding out her hand to the angel. "Though, when all this is said and  done I'd really love to hear your voice again~" She winked with a smal  l laugh. She had only seen those 2 old hags once, when she was getting   the keys to her room. So she had to wrack her brain just to make sure   she was looking for _them_ and say.. well, not PTJ or his brother.  PTJ held up his uno card for all to see, his Duel Disk displaying the  rest of his hand proudly. It was one thing to question why the boy was   an old man suddenly, and where those eyeglasses he had got came from-  -or even how that one wall was beating him at go fish but.. This was s  omething else.  He fixed his dentures in his mouth with his tongue as any old hunk of  man might before going in for the sloppy, and expelled the small amoun  t of air from his lungs to proudly shout ___"BINGO, DANGNABBIT!"___
COFFIN:  Dzilla started laughing, her laugh was loud and full. She kicked open  a door and started to look about the room.  "You coulda asked me to open it ya moose!" Foxstole snapped before sha  king her head. She got up and started to look around. "Hmm..any hidden   passages?" She started tapping her foot about to check.  Mary Jane's teddy turned it's head and hugged its owner. Mothers love  was weird. "Hmmm..where would two old ladies hide their bath stuff..oo  ! By the springs!"  He started to make his way there. Has he forgotten   he was naked? Yup.  Vampire Collar was already checking the water. He figured the chemistr  y minor would help him some.
BRIT:  There was the sound of moving furnature on the other side of the door,   like someone had been statled.  "Uh, nice try, Sister." Strappon said, clearing his throat. "Someone h  as to be in there..."  He puffed out his chest and put on his game face.  "Madams! Please, if you let us in now we won't cause you any more trou  ble! I don't wish to contact the authorities!" He called in, his voice   stern.  "If you think drinking doesn't solve your problems, you should address   my husband." Cowlneck snorted, grabbing a bottle, "Take this, heathen  ."  He tossed it in as hard as he could before Duster could stop him. He w  as helpless to the little man.
VANIR:  "I can open the door." It was more like a dull 'please let me kick dow  n the door' more than a suggestion or a question. Mirror Mask was prac  tically shaking with annoyance at how tedious this seemed.
KURP:  Archer let out a low chirp as he pointed to his throat, hoping the guy   would understand that his voice is literally fucked. Maybe he'd belie  ve him if he started speaking, which he did. Actual chicken noises cam  e out of his mouth as he spoke and once more crossed his arms in frust  ration. Hopefully that answers the guy's questions.  Luna smiled with a slight blush at Pump's words and began texting on t  he phone.  /"That's kind of you to say. Maybe when this all blows over, we could  do some karaoke?"/  As Sukajan looked for his wizened child, he noticed Strappon and co. a  t the office door. He was about to address them as Obi walked up behin  d them and gasped before running away. Sukajan pointed in her directio  n, calling out,  "There she goes, get her before she runs away!"  As the flask hit the water, he poofed. The dust settled and Shades pic  ked up his hands to his face to see two hands with thumbs. He had hand  s! Oh, joyous day! But his relief would not last to long as he turned  around to a mirror just behind him. He was. He was an old world monkey  .  "Oh fuck off..."
VANIR:  "Oh! UH, hello Father, its good to see you again as well. Despite the  current stress put upon us at the moment." Ballgown stopped suddenly,  smiling, her hair a mess and her self confidence going down a bit just   for the sheer purpouse that her dress has come undone in the back and   her slip on shoes have started to unstrap in her panic.
OWLIE:  Sneakers looked at the Teddy, weird. He brought one of his paws up and   tried to swat the teddy bear off Mary.  "Uh, I don't think so," Cardigan replied, looking around, then she tri  pped and accidentally touched the floor, and instantly the floor was e  ncased with ice like a skating rink.
SAIYAN:  Tuxedo Jacket finally got it that, yes this was in fact the illness he   was afflicted with.  "Well damn dude! That sucks! And I thought I had it bad. At least I ca  n still talk. Anyway, any idea where those two ladies are?" he asked A  rcher.
BRIT:  "That would not... be necessary, Mister Mask." Strappon said, "We must   be firm, but polite."  Then he heard Sukajan address Obi and whipped around. He sputtered a l  ittle.  "Okay, that's out the window!" He called, pointing after Obi, "Break d  own the door and chase the old woman!"
SOPHIE:  PTJ dropped his duel deck and brought out his war trumpet and gave it  a.. a very wholehearted... but weak doot-doot to indicate it was rabbi  t season. That's how these things worked. In a raspy, lack luster voic  e he shouted "cHARGE!", before .."running" in the complete opposite di  rection of Obi.
VANIR:  Mirror didnt waste time in kicking down the door in one blow, he didnt   have his boots on but his sneakers did just find to send it flying. "  Its open."
OMEGA:  "I understand today has been Chaotic if one might put it." Father Cruc  ifix said with a smile back as he looked at her. "THE OLD WOMEN IS GET  TING AWAY!" He called out as he runs after Obi.  Raincoat fell off of Shades because he turn into a Monkey now.  Boxer was still looking for clues until he heard people shouting that  the Old Lady was getting away. "Action Time!" Boxer said as he tries t  o run.
VANIR:  "oh jee- god da- fuck." Ballgown strapped her shoe back on, tied her d  ress on tight and launched herself after the woman, keeping her eyes l  ocked on the target.
OSCARK9:  Ears perk up, Gloves turn towards to Obi running away and made a sicke  ning angry expression. "OH NO YOU-CHOO!" Gloves shouted. Summoning his   angelic wings, he flew after the lady.  Quick thinking, she also summons her angelic wings and follow Gloves.  "GET BACK HERE!" Sapphire shouted at Obi.
SOPHIE:  Pumps nodded in response to what Luna had typed out, "I think that'd b  e nice. You know, like.. Maybe an _actual_ break from all this chaos.  Cuz honestly dear, you _kinda need one."_ She whispered that last part  , with a somewhat saddened laugh. To say she was worried about Luna's  mental well-being was the understatement of the year.  Upon hearing alert of one of the two (2) old hags escaping, Pumps kind  ly gestured forward and laughed. "Ladies first?"
COFFIN:  Mary Janes felt the pull of his bear and he nearly hissed. He turned t  o Sneakers, "Noooo. Touching her is gonna make her zap! Be careful kit  ty!" He ruffled his hair. The bear just blinked and chilled.  "You probably could not find it easily. This is a bath house, not a Bo  nd movie." Dzilla looked down at Fox.  Foxstole proceeded to bust her ass on the floor. "Fuuuck a duck!" She  huffed and pretty much looked like Banbi trying to get up.  Dzilla sits on her hands and lets it happen.  Vampire took a blood break with his hubby.
BRIT:  Duster stared blankly at the monkey that was now Shady. Cowlneck was n  ow laughing harder than he ever had in his life, tears in his eyes.  "Okay. So, let's try throwing things in." He said, "I don't wanna tell   people I'm related to a monkey."  He picked up another bottle and tossed it in, fingers crossed.  As the door to the office flew off its hinges, Medallion was present t  rying to pack what seemed like an obscene amount of objects into a sui  tcase. She turned around and made some sort of strangled scream. She t  hrew the suitcase at them and whizzed past them on... A broom.
VANIR:  Mirror mask took out his sphynx, the weapon of his choice since a chil  d, a puppet master he is. He threw the cat forward, attempting to catc  h the witch before she got too far from him, and for extra messure ran   after her.
BUMBLER BEE:  Rosary sat up and rubbed her head, looking up at Strappon as the Dad v  oice intensified. She sighed out softly, standing up and having to adj  ust her balance. She turned just as Sukajan addressed the old broad! “  Ah! Let’s go! Wait up you old spinster!” She shouted in a cracking voi  ce, picking up her robe and bolting!
SOUP-KITTY:  Jong rose out of the bucket just enough to plant a kiss on his hubby's   cheek before purposefully splashing himself on the flying on lady. he   was now on her as he is water and therefore makes things wet. God Ble  ss. "Being on a lady whos on a flying broom is kinda lit" He said. You   go you funky little pregnant pile of water.  Pointe's "where is PTJ" radar and the screaming of bingo led her to hi  m. She took his hand and led him in the right direction.
SAIYAN:  Mesh Top heard the commotion of what was going on, but couldn't summon   the will power to move. Undershirt was blind, so he too just stood by   and waited.  Meanwhile, Wristband and Tuxedo Jacket both heard the commotion going  on.  "What the hell? Let's see what's going on" TJ said as he ran as best a  s he could off towards the source of the sound.  "Hey! That sounds like they found them! Come on Dirndl!" she said as s  he flailed off to the sound,
OWLIE:  Henley heard Sukajan and he immediately dashed after Obi, screaming. S  neakers just looked at Mary with big eyes but he did not attempt to to  uch the bear. Cardigan noticed the commotion and exited the room. ther  e she saw the angels chasing the old hag.
SOPHIE:  Witch hat, where ever she was, could see someone _else._ was on a broo  m. ___First of all how dare they. Second of all how dare they. Third o  f all, if that broom doesn't have a name, they're not real witches.___  Despite not fully being able to control her floating, she was using he  r broom-scythe and wings to propel herself forward, and as if it were  a match of Quidditch; she was soon flying next to Medallion.  "Say! Lovely flying weather we're having hUH?" She asked, squinting he  r eyes. This person was someone she'd like to know, her name was Horto  n and she sees a hoe.  Meanwhile, PTJ gently pat Pointe's hand and smiled. _"Aw, there you ar  e sweetie. Thank you, I keep getting lost. Grandpa here needs his beng  ay."_
OMEGA:  Boxer the Action Figure and Raincoat the Invisible Girl run after the  old lady that is dashing along with Father Crucifix. "WITCH!" Father C  rucifix shouted as he points at the old ladies.
COFFIN:  Vampire Collar,"You're such an adorab- JONG NO." Vampire Collar procee  ded to run after his Fiji water boy. "BABY OFF THE FLYING OLD WOMAN."  He grabbed the bucket. Witches? A panicking Vampire? What was this Hal  loween?  Mary Janes heard the screams and he fist pumped the air. "Let's go!" H  e ran towards the noise and saw the woman. He grabs his phone and he T   poses, flashing his light on himself. It was definitely blinding. He  wiggled around to move the light.  Dzilla started to run and drag Foxstole. "TO BATTLE!!!"
SOPHIE:  Witch hat blinked upon hearing the first half of her name and turned t  owards Crucifix and she pointed at herself, mouthing, but not saying t  he words, _"Who, Me?"_ , despite being in the middle of a rather impor  tant chase.
OMEGA:  "No them!" Father Crucifix answer as he points to the Old Ladies.
BUMBLER BEE:  Dirndl nodded to her companion, going to open the door to help the spa  ghetti woman; when she heard the commotion too! She growled under her  breath, following at a safe distance behind Wristy in a flat out run!  “End the going, mal-meaning aged woman!” She ordered, frowning.
KURP:  Archer couldn't even had a cluck in edgewise before TJ ran off to go a  fter the old lady. Oh no, this guy wasn't going to take his spot light  . Running after TJ, he saw one of the old biddies, Obi, run past them.   He nearly lunged at her before covering his ears from Henley's...scre  am breathing? God only knows.  Luna smiled at Pumps, nodding. Though it seems that the old ladies wer  e of priority right now. With little hesitation, she took off her name  sake and launched her summoned lance at Medallion who just whizzed pas  t them. If these were the Olympics, she would of gotten gold from both   her form and throw, but it wasn't enough to land the hit on the old h  ag.  Once again, Shades poofed and it seemed like he was gone until he walk  ed a little forward from the water. Turns out he's now a turtle.
OWLIE:  Sneakers hissed as he chased Medallion. Henley ran faster, his scream  breaths are getting louder and louder as the adrenaline kicked in.
SOUP-KITTY:  Pointe's head snapped around 180 degrees when she heard "witch" being  shouted "I HEARD YOU WAS TALKIN SHIT, AND DIDN T THINK THAT I WOULD HE  AR IT- oh he meant the old ladies." Her strobelight body was strobing  to the beat of hollaback girl.
BRIT:  "Well, shit." Duster whispered, grabbing another bottle. Before he cou  ld throw it in, Cowlneck kicked two in at once.  "Faster, damn you! We should find something quicker!" He yelled, "If w  e find the one that makes him bigger, I'll benefit from it, too!"  Medallion, now wet with pregnant sentient water and being pursued by a   witch, screeched to a stop and rammed through the crowd again in the  opposite direction.  "Take that, you fools!" She cackled. Suddenly, the bright child caused   her to become slightly blind and she veered down another hallway scre  aming.
SOPHIE:  Somewhere deep in the void, Flatcap blinked.
COFFIN:  "HECK YEAH I DID THAT!!" Mary Janes ran after the witch," C'MON CLUB K  IDS GUY AND MR KITTY!!"  Vampire Collar terminator ran after the old lady. No body takes his fi  ance and his kids. His flaming hair lit the way. "VINO ÎNAPOI AICI!!!"  Dzilla screamed and chased after the group.  Foxstole ran and threw her heels at the old lady's broom ,"TAKE MY GUC  CI BITCHLET"
OWLIE:  Suspenders roared like a goddamn T-rex as he, Sneakers that giant cat  and Mary the gay tin man chased the witch
SOUP-KITTY:  Jong, taking things into his own hands for the sake of being helpful,  decided to try and shock the old lady into stopping. So he did what wa  ter does, and he covered her face so it was pretty much submerged in w  ater.  Pointe had PTJ sit in a corner with her. Cant risk him getting hurt! S  he- as the kids say- protecc.
OMEGA:  Father Crucifix, Boxer, and Raincoat were still chasing the Witches.
OSCARK9:  Gloves and Sapphire were still chasing Obi in mid-air and MAN SHE'S FA  ST!
SOPHIE:  Pumps blinked, still giving Luna a golfclap in appreciation of such an   amazing toss. That form.. Simply stunning, awe inspiring. But alas, a  ppreciating the giant woman's body would have to wait. She stared as t  he 'Witch'.. _what a waste of the word on such a prune. Her mom was mo  re of a witch with just her pinkie toe than this lady was in her entir  e being. Whatever the fuck that meant._  --SHE STARED AS THE WITCH, Ch  anged directions before heading down a hall nearby.  Witch hat, almost struck by Luna's weapon, had swiftly changed directi  ons, grabbing it on the way back while flying after that darned hag. A  s she passed by Luna, she came to a quick stop, trying to keep herself   at a reasonable... Floating height, handing the weapon back to her fr  iend. "Here ya go!" She whispered before darting off after the WANNA-B  E.  Well that was.. convenient. "Ok think, uh-" Pumps mumbled, whirling up   some air beneath her feat and letting a tiny fist pump escape from he  r excitement. YAAS BITCH SHE WAS FLOATIN. She repeated the action and  raised Luna with her before remembering the fact that angels, in fact,   have wings. Oh well. She felt cool.  Deciding against verbal confirmation since only one of them could supp  ly that at the moment, Pumps nodded off towards the old ladies and gri  nned, lunging herself forward through the hallway with her wind-based  magic.  She had slid off her headphones from around her neck and started to sp  in them around like a lasso to the side, prepping to YEET em at SOME O  LD FOLK. Shit only costed 8 dollars at least, She could get a new pair   sometime later.
SOPHIE:  PTJ quietly pulled out a bag of Werthers Originals from his pocket and   held some out to Pointe before grimacing. _"Where the hell did these  come from."_
SAIYAN:  With the chase a foot, both Tuxedo Jacket and Wristband chased the wit  ches around the complex.  "Come one Dirndl! We gotta catch them!" Wristband said as she ran afte  r them.
COFFIN:  Mary Janes ran after the wicked witch of the wet. "COME BACK HERE W-__  WITH MY BROTHER__" Someone's disco balls dropped.  Vampire Collar kept up his speed and he took out his lycans. The boy w  as not fucking around.  Dzilla clicked curses in her native tongue as her hands slammed into t  hings behind her.  Foxstole took out her weapon. /Not in her swamp./
KURP:  Sukajan had been giving chase to Obi himself who had acquire a broom o  f her own to zoom around the onsen. At this point he'd given up, remem  bering that he's yet to locate PTJ on his own.  Luna had just noticed what Pumps was trying to achieve, giving the oth  er a small smile before she grabbed Pump's waist and summoned her wing  s. Using the wind magic as a thruster of sorts, she sped past Witch Ha  t and locked on to Medallion, readying her lance.  As that was happening, Obi was cackling as she left her chases in the  dust. She was looking behind her, not where she was going and because  of it, she intercepted with and slammed into her twin, Medallion. The  force caused the two to fuse, spinning around a little as they now app  eared as a singular entity. A shapely, younger woman with huge bodonke  rs. I'm talking some huge, humongous hungolomghononoloughongous.  The sudden transformation cause Luna to hit breaks on her wings, crash  ing into some furniture just out of shot.  The first flask went into the tub and Shades, this time, turned into a   bird who felt compelled to fight his own reflection. He was about to  throw down until the second flask went in which made him grow bigger.  Now this was a predicament.
BRIT:  Duster immediately threw another flask into the water to stop Shades'  growth.  "No, no property damage!" He yelled, "NO."  Cowlneck screamed as the vial hit the water before he had time to reac  t.  "YOU FOOL. THAT WOULD HAVE FIXED ME!" He screeched.  "That would have made you more of a problem." Duster said offhandedly.  Strappon skid to a stop to see the fusion with mouth agape.  "S-sister, do you... See this?" He asked to the nearest person to him,   Rosary.
OMEGA:  Boxer and Father Crucifix stopped as they looked at the women with hug  e bodonkers. Raincoat who was invisible keep running at the Witch and  jumped at her to grapple them. "I GOTCHA YOU!" Raincoat shouted as tri  es to hold her down.
COFFIN:  /Dzilla throws a fucking sofa./  Mary Janes screams,"NANA NOT THE SOFA COME ON!!"  Foxstole taps out and pants, she just uses her wings to get closer.  Vampire Collar was fucking ghost rider and he hopped onto the couch fl  inging seven foot woman. Name a better duo, he'll wait.
OSCARK9:  Gloves and Sapphire hit their breaks mid-air to see the two old ladies   fuse into one shapely, younger woman with huge bodonkers. It made the  ir jaw drop, and Gloves snot turn from once a clear snot, into a red t  hick blood.
SAIYAN:  Wristband and Tuxedo Jacket both arrived together and saw that the two   old ladies from before had somehow fused together into one younger wo  man.  "Okay this has to be some sort of fetish" Wristband said as she watche  d bewildered at what had just transpired.  "That makes no sense how could she be younger?" TJ said
SOUP-KITTY:  Jong was caught in the middle of this fusion and was kinda confused. S  till, he's keeping up them drowning efforts. Those tiddies didnt matte  r to him, even if they were big. He had a pair of his own, the only di  fference being he didnt want to have them, but thats besides the point  . Jong was tired of tiddy. "Yo what the fuc k? this is just a cheap ta  ctic to make weak old ladies stronger." He went back to trying to stop   the fusion by drowning.  Pointe took a candy and placed a kiss gently on top of PTJ's head. She   then decided to pull out her starfury, set it on fire, and charged at   the fusion. she strobed the whole way there.
COFFIN:  Mary Janes proceeded to punch the powdered milk sack.
OWLIE:  "What the fuck?" Cardigan said, she stopped next to Sneakers the giant   cat. Suspenders just grunted and rolled his eye. Henley let out a hig  h pitched scream as he stopped running, looking at the fusion.
KURP:  Shades vision was blurred as he transformed into another animal. As hi  s vision focused, he saw the vague shape of his first form and nearly  cheered before realizing that he wasn't exactly the same.  "YEAH I'M BACK TO- Wait. NO I'M NOT! I'm a llama!"  "What's the fucking difference?" Cowlneck asked, more or less a little   /salty/ that his only cure was used up.  "This."  Shades spat at Cowlneck, basically plastering the small man to the wal  l of the shelf.  Off in another part of the building, Gogo finally resurfaced looking m  ore refreshed and peppier than they were in the morning.  "I do say, I gotta thank you for the meal, dear."
SOPHIE:  You know, despite the current situation with . well. Some massive bado  nkarahoogaloogs being forged out of two old women. Pumps was dealing w  ith a badonker problem of her own. After the rather abrupt crash, she  found her head wedged in between her friend's... serious honkers. Not  that she would have minded, but to her dismay, 1) they were still in t  he middle of a fight against some tit lady, and 2) Well, they weren't  quite at a point in their friendship where this would be acceptable. P  umps simply raised her hand in the air and gave a thumbs up to indicat  e she was alive at least, though not for long if she had to stay in th  is position. _2 chicks, chillin in a bath house, 1 milometer apart and   they're not gay. Yet._
BRIT:  Despite the blatant attempt to suffocate her, the fusion shook the wat  erboy and The Invisible Girl off in a struggle. She saw all the people   around her and grimaced.  "Shit, let's get out of here!" She said, making her way out of the are  a as fast as possible.  "After... Them!" Strappon demanded, "Whatever just happened! Don't let   them get away!"  The fusion lady went jetting into the nearest way out- which happened  to be the bath house.  Duster looked up from his concentrated furrow to see a large woman wit  h enormous... tracts of land. He screamed, and it was the least manly  thing he'd done in his life. He sounded like a little girl. The scream   shocked the fusion lady, causing them to scream, too.
OSCARK9:  Snapping back into reality, Gloves and Sapphire chase after the fusion   woman once again in mid-air.
SAIYAN:  Tuxedo Jacket looked as the woman ran off to the bath house.  "YOU WONT GET AWAY FROM ME! Come on Archer!" Tuxedo yelled as he ran o  ff after the witch again.  "Yeah let's go Dirndl!" Wristband yelled, following TJ's lead.
EMI:  Elsewhere, Dermal and Gogo emerged from a closet, one looking satisfie  d and licking their lips and the other limping.  "Well, I'm up for a good soak now that we got that out of our system..  ." Dermal managed to say, rubbing his behind gently. The two entered t  he bathhouse only to be greeted by a banshee-like scream and a large o  ld woman with humongous bazongongalas drooping down to her toes.  Dermal then looked only more exhausted. "I hate Angels."
OMEGA:  Boxer and Father Crucifix shake their heads and run after the fusion.  Raincoat ran after the lady too.
SOPHIE:  Witch hat blinked. Those were some serious bohongalogadonkeramungos. A  fter collecting herself, she tightened her grip on her broom and soare  d after the fusion.  ___"HEY--UHM"___ she paused, keeping pace next to the giant woman. ___  "I'd understand if there was a misunderstanding but mam..s.. I'm real  sick and tired of floaTING?"___ She blurted out, using her wings to pu  sh herself back down. Lord she was out in the open. Next thing you kno  w she'd be in the stratosphere if she wasn't careful.
COFFIN:  Vampire Collar tried to skid to a stop but momentum said fuck your chi  cken strips so he ran right into the wall.  Mary Janes screamed like the little man he was and it was horrifying.  He turned on his teddy tazer and dipped her into the water. "I AM PIKA  BOO!!" Pray for this boy.  Dzilla screamed and managed to throw on of her axes. Foxstole held a f  ew an started to throw them too.
SOUP-KITTY:  Jong, being fucking pissed that he was shooken off, darted off directl  y into more water. He was done with this bullshit. Suddenly all the wa  ter from the bathouse had become part of his body, and there he was, a   big ol water boy. You know he had to do it to em. He stood in front o  f the fusion, he looked kinda angry tbh. He noticed mary dipping the t  eddy tazer in water. "HEY MARY DO YOU THINK YOU CAN LIKE, TURN THAT TA  ZER ON AND THROW IT INSIDE ME?"  Pointe threw Starfury at the fusion's butt.
KURP:  Luna gasped as she got up, not really paying any mind to the poor sap  between her own cleavage. Sitting up Pumps, she tore off her heels and   caught up with the rest of the group.  Shades screamed as well mostly because others were also screaming. Hap  pens when your anxiety is through the roof. In his panic, Shades went  in and grabbed a vial of his own and threw it at the screaming lady.  As the vial came into contact with them, their shapely form poofed, un  fusing them and turning them into a pair of flamingos. Well. They're t  echnically still a pair of tits. Their sudden form shift helped them a  void Starfury.  With this, they ran out of the room, past dumbfounded Heavenbents. Or  that would of been the case if they actually weren't running around in   circles from utter confusion.
KURP:  Also Archer's basically being choked as he's being dragged around Tuxe  do Jacket.
BRIT:  The idea struck Duster to continue to throw vials at the two old birds  . He began throwing them with wreckless abandon, each one that made co  ntact with them turned them into a different form.  "Everyone, start throwing these at them!" He called, "Block them off!"  "S-stop that!! Those are not toys!" Medallion squawked, skidding to a  stop and barely evading being caught by Strappon who had lept to hold  her down, "They were hard to make!!"
COFFIN:  "JEAN THONG DE'NIM YOU ARE NOT FRYING OUR CHILDREN." Vampire Collar ye  lled as he peeled himself from the wall.  Mary Janes shrugs," OKEY DOKEY SMOKEY!" He turns on the tazer and he t  hrow it into his brother.  Vamp's soul /leaves./  Dzilla stared up at Jong and blinked. "Huh."
OMEGA:  Boxer, Raincoat, and Father Crucifix started to throw vials at them.
SOUP-KITTY:  Jong literally grabs the gosh darned flamingos and hopefully stuns the  m.
SOPHIE:  Pumps slowly stood to her feet, still a bit dazed from how much tit sh  e just experienced in the past minute. Stumbling around, she picked up   a couple vials and carefully hucked them at the two twins. Lord knows   she didnt want any of this getting on her. She was PURE.  Meanwhile, witch hat simply waved at JONGO.
SAIYAN:  Tuxedo Jacket and Wristband didn't waste any time. Wristband whipped a   bunch at them, while Tuxedo Jacket used his giant fucking hand to gra  b like 50 at once and just chucked them at the lady.  "Take this you old hags turned hot!" He yelled at them.
KURP:  "They also costed us a fortune, STOP IT!!" Obi shrieked as she went fr  om a flamingo to a cat with two small horns protruding from her head.  "Oh  no!" She squeaked before covering her mouth quickly, "Wait, is th  at /my voice/? AAAAAAAAAAAAAA."  She was pelted with more potions which turned her into different other   animals before she simply flopped to the ground as a tired, horned pi  glet.
OWLIE:  "Then fucking fix us, you hags," Cardigan said, she chucked a frozen s  olid vial at one of the ladies. Sneakers hissed at Medallion, his claw  s were exposed. Henley must've been the only one left screaming, not t  hat he can help it.
OSCARK9:  Gloves and Sapphire snap their heads at Duster to hear his voice. Nodd  ing and turn quickly towards some vases, they began to throw at the tw  o old woman with no holding back.  "YEAH!" They say, agreeing with Cardigan.
BRIT:  Medallion screeched as she was hit by another vial and turned into a k  iwi as she was grappled by Jong. Jong would then be hit by the same vi  al and also be turned into a kiwi.  She managed to patter away, evading many of the potions as she was now   quite small. She cackled loudly as she sped past the Heavenebents who   tried to capture her.
SOUP-KITTY:  Jong is now a kiwi. Pointe picked up starfury and chiffon- I mean jong  , and put him on her head. There was now a strobelight teen with a kiw  i on her head waving a big sword trying to catch another kiwi. Jong cr  ies.
SOPHIE:  Scrunchy, A horse headed freak, wasn't quite feeling right. Not knowin  g where she herself even was, she watched a kiwi bird totter past her.   Without thinking twice, she reached in her pocket and pulled out a sc  runchy, turning it into a slingshot and taking aim. In the back of her   head she wanted to believe this was wrong but.. _it felt so right._
COFFIN:  Vampire Collar was currently passed out on the ground, his hair was pr  obably lighting things on fire. Probably. Mary done yeeted his soul.  Mary Janes ran up to Pointe, unintentionally spreading the strobe ligh  ts. "Jong!!" He grabbed his teddy and he ran at the lady screaming.  Dzilla was just proud of her boy.  Fox wanted death.
BRIT:  Scrunchy's aim was awful, but somehow. /Somehow/ it hit the kiwi-Medal  lion and caused her to fly into the air. She was then pelted with seve  ral potions midair, and flopped to the ground as a large snake.  The snake frantically attempted to slither away, but was suddenly pile  d on by Jacket, who had been behind Scrunchy, and wrassled into submis  sion. Tied into a knot.  "GREAT LEVIATHAN, UNHAND ME YOU GRUBBY CHILD!" Came the voice of not M  edallion, but another rather familiar demon voice.
BRIT:  "Wow, either you added some years on you... Or you ain't no old lady."   Jacket said, holding the now knotted snake away from himself. The kno  t just hung limp and tired with a heavy sigh.  "That voice is familiar." Duster said, turning to Shades, "Isn't that  your friend's husband?"
OMEGA:  "Leviathan..." Father Crucifix said as he stopped throwing vials at th  e witches. "Their Demons or Witches that worship the Snake of Envy!" H  e said as he points at them. Boxer and Raincoat look at the watches ke  eping their eyes on them.
SOPHIE:  Scrunchy stared at the snake and slowly raised her slingshot again, in   case they were bout to start shit.
SAIYAN:  Undershirt and Mesh Top managed to find their way to where the two old   ladies were tied up, while Tuxedo Jacket and Wristband panted a bit a  t the exertion it took to chase these two down.  "Jesus, that took so much effort" Tuxedo Jacket said as he wiped the s  weat from his brow with his giant hand.
OSCARK9:  Gloves and Sapphire flew down with the rest of the dang while summonin  g their holy namesakes out.
OWLIE:  "Calm the hell down, preacher man" Cardigan said, eyeing the snake. Sn  eakers curled up in a corner and took a nap. Henley was still screamin  g and Suspenders looked at the other angels and heavenbent humans with   confusion,
COFFIN:  Mary Janes looked at Father Crucifix like /bitch/, "You just made that   up my dude snakes are cool." He cranked up his teddy and sat next to  Sneakers.  Vampire Collar came to and he walked over to Pointe. He took his fianc  e and he blinked, did he nearly pee himself? Maybe. Was he scared? Nah  . Upset? Maybe.  Dzilla cracks her giant knuckles.
KURP:  The pig-Obi snapped as soon as she heard Medallion's voice shift, "YOU   IDIOT, YOU BLEW OUR COVER-" She, or rather he, shut his yap up as soo  n as his actual voice came back.  Luna came in to apprehend the piglet, sitting him up in her arms to wh  ich he tried to wiggle out of before tiring himself.  But now he had the high ground from his snake friend.  "This is why mom doesn't fuCKING LOVE YOU."  Shades stared at the snake, then slowly approached him.  "Oh hi, Amulet. How's your sex life?"
SAIYAN:  Undershirt moved in a way that conveyed surprise because, let's favce  it, he wasn't able to see anything but blue hair.  "Wait you know this guy?" He asked Shady.
OMEGA:  "Leviathan is one of the Angels that fallen from Grace. Read the Bible   sometimes." Father Crucifix said as he looked at Mary. "Also, snakes  aren't cool." He said as he looks back at the demons getting his Holy  Water ready.
KURP:  "He's my friend's husband. A, uh, rather colorful individual," he said  .  "I take it the kids are good? Job doing okay? Going out often with you  r husband?"
COFFIN:  Mary blinks, "The only thing I read is people." Said the gay tin man.
BRIT:  "What a rude little piglet." Amulet hissed at the other demon. He look  ed at Shades with the least amused face a snake could muster.  Duster took him from Jacket before he could hurt himself, his grip was   bone-breakingly strong. It made Amulet scrunch up further into more o  f a hanging ball of scales. His face was barely sticking out.  "Putmedown." He said quickly.
EMI:  "She doesn't love any of us." Dermal replied flatly. He walked over to   the group, attempting to conceal his limp, finally deciding to be soc  ial.  "Well, at least we found out why this whole thing turned into a shit s  how. I'm glad I lost my appetite yesterday."
OMEGA:  "Shade, why are you talking to the enemy?" Father Crucifix ask as he l  ooked at Shade and walked up to the demons. "Now then, tell us how to  turn the angel back or get splash with Holy Water." He said as he got  his flash of holy water out ready to splash.
SOUP-KITTY:  Jong hops up and starts pecking crucifix's head angrily with each angr  y peck the words "cease" could be heard.  Pointe patted Vamp on the back "dont worry so much, Jong seems to be o  kay. I mean, look at that dork." Pointe pointed at Jong.
BRIT:  "Holy water doesn't effect us, you daft idiot." Amulet snorted, "If yo  u're so against demons maybe you shouldn't be accepting passes from si  nners."  Strappon sighed deeply, approaching the set of demons among his Angels   with his hands on his hips.  "Well, that explains everything." He said, "Now reverse these terrible   effects or we'll find better uses for these forms of yours."  "Anything's a dildo if you're brave enough!" Jacket chirped.
SOPHIE:  Scrunchy stared at Jacket and simply placed hands over her unicorn hor  n in fear.
SAIYAN:  Mesh Top looked at the pig and couldn't help herself from drooling a b  it. It had been a long while since she's eaten and pork sounded really   good right now.  "Hey, how about we have a pig roast tonight? Sound good to anyone else  ?" she asked the crowd.
OWLIE:  "Well shit, even I'm not that brave," Cardigan muttered.
COFFIN:  Lava boy exhaled, "I can't help it...god that's really cute.." He shoo  k his head and pet the small fluff ball he called a fiance. "I recall  my cousin lost a small piglet in his anal cavity." Vamp stated matter-  of-factly.  Mary blinked, "What's a dildo?" He turned to kitty.  Dzilla blonked. "What is do dil?"  Foxstole started losing her shit.
OSCARK9:  "I'll use my-Choo! Pyroman-Choo! For-Choo! That-CHOO!" Gloves said, sn  eezing bloody snots as he ignit his gauntlets on fire. "Hold him down!  "
KURP:  Mesh Top's words clearly distressed the piglet who started squealing a  nd wiggling around in Luna's arm. She had an iron grip on him, clearly   not letting go.  "Okay, okay! FINE. We'll revert you pathetic lot back. Just promise th  at nothing will befall us."  "Yeah, you better," said Gogo, coming into the room, "This tongue is n  ice and all, but I keep biting myself a bit too much."
OWLIE:  Sneakers just slept through the clamoring of the angels and heavenbent  s, he purred softly and brushed his tail against Mary Janes.
COFFIN:  Mary Janes shrugged and shut off his teddy. He plopped against the gia  nt cat boy and hugged him close. He was out.
BRIT:  "Also as payment, we will enjoy the rest of this vacation here /undist  urbed/." Strappon snorted, "Miss Pleats spent the money to send us her  e, it's not fair she would have to pay for this."  "Please, for the love of God, just turn us back." Duster pleaded, "I'v  e almost crushed by ex-boyfriend twice."  "Okay! FINE." Amulet hissed.  Duster set him down and Amulet managed to change himself back to... Hi  mself. He shook off and smoothed his hair back. He moved his hands in  some way and the room was shrouded in a thick mist.  When the mist cleared, everyone had resumed their normal forms! No wei  rd forms, no strange voices, just normal!  But Amulet and Sash had disappeared.
SOPHIE:  Witch hat abruptly fell from the ceiling.
OMEGA:  "Yay! I'm no longer a Action Figure!" Boxer cheered as he wasn't plast  ic anymore. "Awwww I'm not invisible anymore." Raincoat cried as she l  iked being invisible for the part of this vacation.
OWLIE:  Sneakers woke up from his nap and found Mary Janes hugging him, which  would normally not bother him but the boy was nAKED.  "Uhh... M-Mary?" Sneakers said, blushing as he poked the other boy's f  ace.  "Oh.. Fuck, my throat hurts," Henley said, his voice hoarse.  "Oh thank god," Cardigan said, sighing with relief.
SOUP-KITTY:  Jong who had been standing on Father Crucifix's head, landed on him p  much. He was a full sized boy again. And not chiffon. Lit. But ouch.  Pointe stopped being the captain of the elderly police strobe light un  it. She quickly ran to find PTJ after excusing herself.
OSCARK9:  Gloves bloody nose ain't running no more and Sapphire once slimy skin  ain't slimy no more, especially no falling down. Both of them was smil  ing brightly at each other, "YAHOO! WE'RE BACK!" Gloves said, feeling  energies and healthy again.
OMEGA:  "ARGH!" Father Crucifix cried out as Jong was now on his Head. "GET OF  F MY HEAD!" He shouted at Jong as he was on his head.
SOPHIE:  Well. He at least didn't look completely like an old geezer but his mi  nd was clear again. Though he looked more like a man in their mid 50's  . Hey just sighed to himself and mumbled, _"There goes that senior cit  izen discount at the movies."_
SAIYAN:  Mesh Top felt her figure fill back out to her normal size. She smiled  as she began to run her hands over her curves to make sure it was real  ly happening.  "Haha! I'm back to normal!" Mesh Top said with uncharacteristic excite  ment in her voice.  Wristband and Tuxedo Jacket both smiled as they felt their arms go bac  k to normal and Undershirt sighed in relief as he felt his hair recede   and stand back up in his normal spikes.
KURP:  Luna noticed that the piglet was now gone from her hands, "That wasn't   a very smooth disappearing act," she said, happy her voice was now...  normal, "The guy literally yanked the pig out of my hands..."  Shades was dazed as he clung behind Cowlneck, using him as cover. The  man was naked as well.  Archer was practically yelling now that his voice was back, cursing at   Tuxedo Jacket for the 'horrible' treatment.  Sukajan had appeared tardy to the party, but he was fine as well despi  te not being in the room. Perhaps Amulet did him a solid considering S  hades knows where the demon lived. He saw that Shades was back to norm  al, but lacked clothes. Oh bother.  Kindly shoving Cowlneck to the side, Sukajan wrapped his namesake arou  nd Shades' waist to cover his privates.  "We're not staying here, we're going home, okay?"  To which Shades nodded as he was escorted back to his room.  Haberdasher finally came out of hiding. He was okay.
COFFIN:  Mary Janes woke up to the pokes and he blinked slowly. "Huh..? Sneaky  why are you poking me? Where did the cat-" He sits up and sees that he  's naked. He screeches and he uses the teddy to cover himself. His fac  e was beet red at this point. "ohmygodohmygod"  Vampire Collar sighed happily as his hair was no longer flaming. He ki  cked father aside and hugged his preg baby. "Imsohappyyourenotabird."  Foxstole looked at herself in the mirror,"I'M FUCKABLE AGAIN!!!"  Dzilla looks at her hands and shrugs.
SOUP-KITTY:  Jong stood up, his legs very wobbly as he wasnt really used to walking   again entirely, but he held on for dear life to Vamp. He buried his f  ace in his fiance's neck, and spoke softly. "Im sorry.."
OMEGA:  "That's Alright." Father Crucifix said as he dust himself off and got  up from the ground.
BRIT:  "That's debatable!" Jacket yelled over to Fox Stole. Rude.  He turned to Scrunchy and immediately mooshed her face with his hands.  "Hey! You got a baby face again!" He said, rubbing her cheeks more.  Cowlneck was hugging himself. He was so happy to be normal-sized, and  was then shoved by Sukajan.  "Fuck you." He snorted, "I'm going to enjoy myself while I'm still her  e."  He stormed over to the bath and stopped himself.  "WAIT THIS WATER IS CONTAMINATED." He announced.  "Well... I guess we'll have to have a relaxing day at the Abbey, then.   Let's get some rest and maybe we can compile a party there." Strappon   laughed, "Sleep would be an excellent idea right now."
OWLIE:  "Uh... I'm the cat, Mary," Sneakers said sheepishly. Suspenders ran up   to them and help both of them stand up.
SOUP-KITTY:  "not at you." Jong snapped. his head turning all the way around like a  n owl, clearly pissed that the intimate moment with his beloved was in  terrupted. Jong hissed audibly.
OMEGA:  "Rude..." Father Crucifix muttered as he walks over to Raincoat and Bo  xer. "I'm glad you too are back to normal." He said as he hugs them. B  oxer and Raincoat hug back as they smile.
KURP:  From the wreckage of the room where Luna and Pumps crash landed, Leon  "Leon" Leonhart sprang out. His breathing was labored and was bent on  finding the Angels. He opened the door to the bath house and pointed a  t them.  "/YOU/."  He said, in a strained, yet gruff voice.  "THE FUCK DID YOU GUYS /DO/. THIS PLACE IS RUINED! I WAS ENJOYING MY V  ACATION."
COFFIN:  Vampire Collar pet Jong's hair, he was happy his baby was alright. Vam  pire Collar stared daggers at Crucifix. "/Sufla pe un pula si mor/" He   kissed his baby.  Mary Janes hid his face,"Oh my god I was kissing you." He stood and he  ld the bear against him.  Foxsole blinked. "Okay he's cute."  Dzilla just shrugged, "Meh."
SOPHIE:  Scrunchy laughed, hugging her best friend and giving him a tiny kiss o  n the cheek. "What a relief!" She sighed, before double taking. _"What   changed about you anyways?"_  Pumps just looked back, wide eyed, to see a man under where she and Lu  na had been a brief time earlier.  "Aw shit-hey man I'm sorry-"
BRIT:  "You know, I just don't know." Jacket sighed, "Ah, well. Wish I had a  horse ass. Then we coulda make a whole unicorn!"  "Simple." Duster said. He put his hand over his mouth, surprised by hi  s once-again adult voice. "Well, I guess everything is back to normal.   Thank God."
KURP:  "DON'T. TOUCH." Leon yelled out as Pumps tried to talk to him.
OMEGA:  Father Crucifix was having his family hug with Boxer and Raincoat.
OWLIE:  "Yeah, you did," Suspenders huffed, Sneakers just gave his friend a so  ft smile, even though his face was red with embarrassment. Cardigan fi  shed her phone out of the pocket of her robe and grimaced when she saw   she had 15 missed calls from Monocle. Shit.
COFFIN:  Mary Janes raised a puppy brow. "And who the neck are you?" He squinte  d.
OSCARK9:  Gloves turn to the angry Leon, "If I could say a few words as a Virtue   Angel, I would like to state that we got Sid-effect by the old maiden  s, which turns out they where  witches, then in actuality, they were d  emons in disguise. We stop them in a cause of large property damage, t  he demons turns our Sid-effects back to normal, gone, and we're going  back at the abbey." Gloves said. "We're sorry if your vacation's ruin,   but if you like, you can come to our Abbey for another relaxation par  ty?" He question him. "I'll start a BBQ."
SOPHIE:  Pumps just placed a hand on Gloves' shoulder and pulled him back. "Hey  -man-maybe we shouldnt poke the bear ay?" she blinked, after already b  eing snapped at.
KURP:  Leon stared angrily at Gloves, shoving the guy as he walked between bo  th him and Pumps. "I'm booking out."
OWLIE:  "I'm Suspenders," He said, grinning at Mary Janes, putting an arm arou  nd Sneakers' shoulders "I'm Sneakers' boyfriend."  "No you're not," Sneakers said flatly  "_Not yet~_" Suspenders replied
OSCARK9:  Gloves turns to Pumps with a curious look, "I'm just trying to be nice  ." He told her. Waiting for a response, Leon shove him and Pumps and i  t made him frown as he left. "Aww."
SOPHIE:  Pumps just firmly pat Gloves' shoulder. And that's what disappointment   feels like right there. Welcome to the club.
OMEGA:  Boxer gets out of the hug and hugs Sneakers. "HERE IS UNCLE BOXER!" Bo  xer said as he hugs Sneakers with a big smile on his face. Raincoat an  d Father Crucifix chuckle as they saw Boxer do that.
SOUP-KITTY:  Pointe couldnt find ptj, and walks up to raincoat, pulls her close, di  ps her and kisses her passionately. She then drops her. "Nope still no  t gay."
COFFIN:  Mary Janes cracks up,"You? Seriously? That's cute. I know Sneakers has   way better taste." He stuck out his tongue.
OMEGA:  Raincoat was surprise by the passionate kiss then she was on the groun  d. "You alright..." Father Crucifix ask as he looked at her. "I think  i might be Bisexual." Raincoat said as she blushes on the ground.
OWLIE:  "_Íosa Críost_...!" Sneakers yelped at the sudden contact from Boxer.  Suspenders glared at Mary Janes, for once he's at loss for words.
OMEGA:  "I missed you little guy!" Boxer said as he hugs Sneakers tighter to t  he point he was squeezing air out of him. Strong Hug.
SOUP-KITTY:  Summer shows up, a day late, with starbucks. "Did I miss anything?"
Thanks to the work of the Angels, the Onsen was returned to normal and b ack in running order by the end of the night. They were invited to stay, but ultimately ended up crashing back at the Abbey and having a big par ty the next day. There may or may not have been a pig roast. And so, the Angels have finally had a restful couple of days. However, s omething sinister hangs in the air as their reputation continued to be s landered on television and the string of missing persons coming to light more and more every day. Will the Angels get to have another restful day?
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