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virgo-mess · 4 months ago

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The Birds and the Bees

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Chapter List

1.Alexithymia- The Inability to Express your Feelings Parts 1 and 2

2.The Woes of Adolescence/ What the heck Happened that Summer Parts 1 and 2

3.Caught in a Summer Storm/ What the heck Happened that Christmas.

4.Summer Bluffs? Part 1

5.Disco, Strippers, and Margaritassss Part 2

6.Sleepless in a Hotel Suite Part 3

7.Shades of Pink

8.The Things I’ve Dreamed Part 1

9.Renewal Part 2

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And we've finally made it to part 2 of Chapter 2... Good grief I was hit with the most random wave of productivity. I'm making this post at 2 AM after writing for four hours. Sorry if there's any typos, this was honestly a product of me seeking comfort for my own inner turmoil and the result was FLUFFFF. So let me know what you think in the notes pleaseee, I beg. 👀

TW: Panic attacks, Kissing, and fluffffff. That's really it guys, enjoy!

The Woes of Adolescence/ What the Heck Happened That Summer Part 2

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“Yet the summer which was to change everything was coming nearer every day. When boys and girls are growing up, life can’t stand still, not even in the quietest of country towns; and they have to grow up, whether they will or no. That is what their elders are always forgetting.”- Willa Cather

Shay’s POV

The hours ticked by as Shay and Cash rummaged through boxes full of forgotten memories and unpacked feelings. Any lingering awkwardness from Cash’s prompt proposal for Shay to move in with him was long forgotten by the time Cash slipped away to get them takeout from the Trails End Bar in town. That intimate moment of fellow feeling they had shared had done a great job at prolonging the inevitable conversation they were bound to have for the time being. They spent the rest of their cleaning sipping on glasses of red wine and reminiscing about the happy carefree days of their youth. A prospect that usually had Shay in tears of hopeless yearning was currently filled with bashful giggles, rosy cheeks, longing glances, and fluttering butterflies. Shay supposed drinking wine with Cashton Ewing was a bad idea from the get-go, she was sure the consequences of such an act would be coming back to bite her in the ass soon enough. But she couldn’t help but want to enjoy a face paced blunder with her long-time crush while she could.

“I remember this sundress; you wore it on the last day of eighth grade” Cash mused pulling Shay’s old white sundress with sunflowers stitched on the bodice from one of the boxes with a soft smile on his face. Shay eyed the dress wearily; she remembered that unguarded garment and the scarring memory attached to it very well.

“Yeah, I did…” Shay mumbled before focusing her gaze back on the TV, she’d plugged in 13 Going on 30 not too long ago. The scene of Jenna’s less than stellar thirteenth birthday party was quickly unfolding on the screen. Shay couldn’t help but think about the last day of eighth grade, the day she’d tried her best to forget. Part of the reason she latched onto 13 Going on 30 was because she saw both herself and Cash reflected in Matt and Jenna. Shay felt like the movie was the closest she’d ever get to living out a romantic fantasy with Cash. Sometimes she’d forget she was watching a movie because there was a degree of mirrored likeness between her life and the world painted on the screen, from Jenna and Matt being best friends and neighbors, to Matt taking pictures like Cash, right down to Shay’s vexatious run ins with her own personal mean girl, Opal May Stevens. Shay had her fair share of mean girls throughout their childhood, that could only be expected when you were best friends with the prettiest boy in school. None of them were ever quite as mean as Opal May Stevens however, who had seemed to make it her mission to make Shay’s life a living nightmare about a month or two into that school year. Cash never seemed to notice of course and why would he really, Shay had all but figured out he had a thing for Opal May when she turned up at the movie theater that Valentines Day, she locked herself in a bathroom stall to cry. It wasn’t the first time Shay cried over Cash and Opal May nor would it be the last or even the worst. The worst breakdown she had in relation to her first crush and her childhood bully was reserved for the last day of eighth grade….

“You do always look great in a sundress you know that, Cherry Blossom. What happened that day anyway?” Cash’s voice lulled through the air, pulling Shay out of her dark inner ruminations quite suddenly. Shay’s green eyes strayed from the screen for a split second to see Cash’s ocean orbs gazing at her intensely.

“What?” Shay asked, her brows knitted together in confusion as she tried to recall what it was, they’d even been talking about. She’d gotten lost with the dull echoes of taunting children’s laughter reeling in the gloomy memory bank of her mind and the tiresome chanting of Opal May’s odious voice ringing in her ears. Shay felt Cash’s finger gingerly brush against her forearm, and she finally let her green eyes meet his blue ones. They gazed at her in a way that made her feel like he was trying to ground her and anchor her to him all at once. She always wondered how he could tell when she was being swept away in the murky currents of the more melodramatic waves of her angst filled musings.

“…The last day of school that year, I asked you to meet me out on the school lawn, near the gardens after school, remember? I waited for you, but you didn’t show and by the time I made it to your window it was locked, and you were hysterical…” Cash trailed, his thumb was now drawing soothing circles down the length of her arm so tenderly Shay thought her heart might burst. Shay found herself leaning towards Cash the way a moth is drawn to the light and warmth of a candle despite the way her brain was telling her it wouldn’t be a good idea. Her usual thoughts of caution were being overpowered by the shrill, odious singsong of Opal taunting “TWIRL” repeatedly.

People always talk about the prominent events in your life that change you for the better or for the worse. The ones that stick with you long after they’ve happened and even longer than you’d like them to. They’re pesky shadows that cling to your every move, tethered with you from the green cusp of adolescence to the weathered qualms of adulthood. Silently lurking, endlessly twisting, constantly weaving their influence over your unconscious thoughts and actions day in and day out.

Well, Shay’s earthshattering, life altering moment occurred on the last day of eighth grade and prompted her very first mental spiral. One that was bad enough for her mother to send her away for the summer and stick her in a therapy center in California. Of course, it was a long time coming at that point with her parent’s contentious divorce, Opal May mockingly reciting her end of the year English assignment to a group of her peers was just the final nail in the coffin that year. It only hurt all the more that the muse of that assignment was sitting right next to her now. Shay couldn’t help but assume Cash had something to do with Opal’s cruel joke to some degree…

“I didn’t show because Pete told me you wanted me to meet you by the science hall instead, remember? And I’m sure you know what happened and what Opal did, you had your fun joke let’s not rehash it.” Shay said dismissively, letting out a long sigh she busied herself rummaging through a box once more to take her mind off the memory fighting tooth and nail to free itself from the murky bank. Cash let out a sigh of his own, his fingers found their way to her thigh and resumed drawing soothing circles, but this time Shay found it more tantalizing than anything.

“Pete told you that… I never told him to tell you that Shay, I swear.” Cash’s voice was soft, but Shay could hear the overarching note of sincerity in his deep vibrato. Shay didn’t respond as her hand clutched a hard, glossy, and slightly weathered book and pulled it out of the box with a ghost of a smile on her lips. Her thumb glided down the picturesque lighthouse on the book’s cover, situated in front of a purple, pink, orange sunset.

“What’s it really matter now anyway Cashton? We can’t change the past and I don’t fancy dwelling on it all that much either.” Shay said again dismissively, her eyes were still trained on the book in her hands intently, Cash had given it to her as a gift one year. A photo guide of the most beautiful lighthouses the world had to offer because Shay loved them so much at the time. She still did, while she was living in New York she often wished the Statue of Liberty was a lighthouse instead. Shay felt Cash place a finger under her chin, gently urging her to meet his gaze and she did. Shay met his gaze with sad green eyes and a surprisingly heavy heart, despite the butterflies that fluttered in her stomach at the intimate action. She wished he would stop doing this stuff, touching her this way especially when it was clear it meant more to her than it did to him. Especially when it was clear it would always mean more to her than it did to him.

“It matters because you were a wreck that entire week Cherry Blossom, seeing you like that hurt you know. You were my best friend, you were so sad, you looked so broken, and for the first time ever I couldn’t fix it. Then you just went away for a whole summer, didn’t call, barely answered my letters, you shut me out and came back a different person Shay, that was scary” Cash admitted in a heartfelt tone, his thumb gently caressed her chin and his blue orbs bore into hers with an unreadable sort of intensity that Shay couldn’t place.

“Please don’t act like you don’t know what happened Cashton, you and Opal May spent the entire summer together while I was gone, and I know she couldn’t resist telling you about it. You didn’t miss me that much and it’s fine, really, I don’t care about things that happened when we were fourteen anymore, alright. I forgive you, let’s move on.” Shay lied, forcing a smile on her face, so she didn’t look as bitter as she felt inside. Cash’s expression hardened a bit, but his eyes looked as intense as ever before.

“Well, if you don’t care Shaylee Rose why is it you can’t tell me what happened or what happened to you that summer huh? I don’t appreciate you accusing me of doing something to intentionally hurt you, I’d never do that so would you please explain what it is you’re passive aggressively forgiving me for. Please… what did Opal do, did she hurt you?” Cash coaxed softly, Shay let out a sigh but made no effort to turn her face out of his grasp or move her body away from his tethering pull. She knew it was the wine talking for the both of them right about now, loosening their inhibitions enough to let his touches linger and to let her heart hope his touches meant more than they did.

“We need to talk about this Shaylee, I think we’d both feel better if we did…” Cash said in a gentle but serious tone, holding her gaze as his thumb trailed from her chin to her cheek. Shay let out an almost defeated sounding sigh, she knew he was right, she would feel better if she could find it in her to utter a word. She didn’t think she could, and she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to.

“Cashton Micheal, I don’t think I can talk about it, so can we please just keep going through this stuff… please” Shay pleaded feebly. Her panic at his prying was evident with every shaky syllable she uttered with tears brimming in her eyes, threatening to spill over any moment. Shay inhaled sharply and tried her best to blink the tears away, but a single tear broke free, rolling down the length of her flushed cheek seemingly in slow motion. Cash’s expression softened at the sight of the lone, melancholy drop of water almost immediately.

“Alright…shhh, we don’t have to talk about it. Don’t cry it’s okay.” Cash said in a low whisper. He wiped the lone drop away with the pad of his thumb tenderly before placing a kiss where it had just been. Shay fluttered her eyes closed and let out a content sigh at the feel of his lips against her wine flushed cheek. It surprised her how delicate his lips seemed to feel in contrast to his now giant muscled appearance. The gentleness reminded her so much of the Cash Ewing she knew before things changed so dramatically between them that fateful summer. Shay opened her eyes as she felt Cash start to gently toy with the ends of her hair.

“Maybe we should call it a day for now Cherry Blossom? It’s not like your mom is going to be back anytime soon. Why don’t we head out to the beach for a bit” Cash said in a soft tone, Shay felt a pang of guilt in her chest at the obvious sadness swirling in his blue eyes. Though his fingers were still toying with the ends of her blonde hair tenderly, Shay could feel him retreating from her on an emotional level and she couldn’t help but hate herself for it. That wasn’t her intention, she craved his vulnerability more than anything but only because her vulnerability was so difficult to articulate, so hard for her to put into words. She wished it wasn’t.

“Sure, I could go for a swim right about now. Let me just put some of this away first, remember this Cashy?” Shay asked, holding up the book with a trace of a genuine smile on her lips in an attempt to snuff the rising tension in the air. Cash’s blue eyes trailed over the lighthouse on the book’s cover with an almost melancholy expression on his face. Shay wasn’t sure what came over her but before she knew it her fingers were intertwined with Cash’s once more. Much in the same way he had grabbed her hand down in the kitchen though that somehow felt like a lifetime ago with everything that had played out between the two of them since they wandered upstairs. The wine was indeed a bad idea but at least they were holding hands again, Shay knew it wasn’t much but at least it was something. Cash’s expression softened as his eyes glanced down at their laced fingers before meeting Shay’s gaze with a sheepish grin on his face.

“Of course I do Cherry Blossom, I gave you that book for your tenth birthday. You were obsessed with lighthouses back then but judging by the dust on the cover I’d say that’s been up here since you got back that summer, huh” Cash said in a tone that he clearly wanted to sound nonchalant, but Shay could tell by the way his tongue glided over his inviting lower lip, it bothered him. A soft sigh escaped Shay’s lips and she found herself tightening her grip on his large hand quite suddenly. Partly to comfort him and partly to keep him from slipping away from her again.

“It wasn’t like that Cashy, I promise. I love this book, that empty book stand on my shelf was always meant for it, but my mom couldn’t remember where she put it when we started redecorating.” Shay said sincerely, it was true after all. Her mom had misplaced it shortly after they started painting over the pink clouds on her ceiling that September and Shay hadn’t seen It since then but, she looked for it every month for a year. “I have no idea how it ended up in the attic though. I swore I put it in my closet that day we started moving things, but you know my mom. Too nosy for her own good.” Shay tacked on jokingly, Cash chuckled softly with a sheepish grin still plastered on his face, but Shay could tell his blue eyes were searching her green eyes for something.

“So, you never looked inside of it then…” Cash trailed in a way that made Shay think he knew something she didn’t. His eyes quickly darted between hers and the lighthouse situated in front of that picturesque sunset several times before settling back on her face with an obvious blush on his cheeks.

“No, why, did you put something top secret inside of it? Am I going to find the map to DeDe Green’s missing gnome collection in here or something” Shay said in a teasing tone, Cash rolled his eyes, and another sheepish chuckle escaped his lips. Shay looked over at him curiously. She wasn’t sure what to make of his sheepishness, but she could only assume the two empty bottles of white wine they’d shared was the driving force behind the emotional roller coaster they’d taken the other on in the past few hours.

“Pete and I never touched those creepy gnomes Shaylee, I assure you. I don’t know why everyone always assumes we’re behind most of Plymouth’s long-standing mysteries, if anything you and I would be the more likely culprits. We were quite impish if you recall” Cash said with amused blue eyes, now it was Shay’s turn to roll her eyes though she now found herself eyeing Cash up in a sort of bashful curiosity.

“Well, if it’s not a map, what’d you put in here Cashton Micheal?” Shay asked, eyeing him up in lighthearted suspicion through her thick lashes. Cash bit down on his lip sheepishly, drawing small circles on the back of her hand so delicately it had Shay’s stomach swirling with bashful butterflies.

“Just a love letter or two… or fifty. Didn’t you notice it was thicker than usual” Cash said nonchalantly, Shay rolled her eyes at him once more, but they were still very much amused as they gazed into his deeply.

“Fine don’t tell me, I’ll just have to look for myself then huh” Shay said pointedly arching her eyebrow at him. Cash chuckled again; his cheeks were still adorably rosy under the golden hues of afternoon summer sun streaming in through the attic’s window. Shay stared at him for a long while, just admiring how pretty he looked wrapped in golden beams of light and felt her cheeks heat up for about the millionth time today. Still, she was happy most of the intense, mildly bitter tension that hung between them had dissipated even if it wouldn’t last long.

“Why don’t you believe me when I say these things Cherry Blossom, have I ever lied to you?” Cash asked in a teasing tone of his own, but his eyes were surprisingly sincere and undoubtedly vulnerable as they stared back at her intently.

“Probably because you’re Cashton Ewing, one half of Plymouth’s dynamic joking duo” Shay said pointedly, Cash let out a long sigh and resumed toying with the ends of her blonde hair. His thumb continued drawing circles on the back of the small hand that was still intertwined with his larger one. Shay inhaled sharply, having the sudden feeling Cash was going to kiss her though she wasn’t quite sure why. He hadn’t even inched closer to her, there was just a sudden shift in the air and a look in his eyes she couldn’t quite explain.

“You know, Pete and I only became close because I thought you read those letters I stuck in that book while you were away. So, I thought you just didn’t want me around you that much anymore” Cash admitted, his eyes were incredibly sincere, and his expression was quite serious with the afternoon gold dancing on his face. Shay looked at him in suspicious disbelief, searching his eyes for a tell or a ‘got ya’ of some kind but she couldn’t find one nestled in his orbs of ocean blue. Instead, they silently flicked to the thick book sat atop her lap, urging her to open it and find out the truth for herself. Shay wasn’t sure what to think, let alone do with herself if there was really a long-lost declaration of love nestled within the pages of the book he’d given her for her tenth birthday. She found herself replaying parts of the heart-to-heart mother daughter conversation she had shared with Maggie Harris before Cash came clambering through her bay window.

“…take going through your old things as an opportunity to look at stuff with a pair of fresh eyes, maybe there was something you missed the first time around, maybe you might even find yourself up there…hmm. Fourteen is a rough year for everybody, things that seemed easy to say suddenly aren’t…”

Shay swore she felt her stomach do a dozen flips as her green eyes settled on the picturesque lighthouse floating upon purple, orange pink hues and wispy clouds for a long moment. They flicked back to Cash momentarily, spotting the obvious sheepish grin still sat on his face as he gazed at her, and her heart knew he was telling the truth. Still, Shay found herself more conflicted than ever before, all the answers she yearned for from him her whole life were most definitely sat on her lap at this very moment. And yet part of her didn’t want it to be true because that would mean having no choice but to dredge up memories of that lonely summer. It wasn’t like she didn’t think Cash deserved to know, he did but part of her knew he deserved better than her. Shay didn’t want to admit everything wrong with them now, was her fault. She’d felt the pang of guilt in her chest more times than she could deny or play off in the last few days, and most especially in the last few hours. That deep seeded truth that she had quite possibly hurt him way more than he ever hurt her was too much to bear, too much to acknowledge. So, she bottled it all up and shielded herself behind plausible deniability. Habitual late-night mantras to try and convince herself that what she felt for and from him, wasn’t real. That the blushes, butterflies, and giddy hormones were never and could never be reciprocated because guarded, lonesome pining felt safer than unbridled love and passion. But now that Shay knew it was a tangible possibility, she found herself wanting it and him more than ever.

“Here” Cash all but crooned, lowering the hand that had just been toying with the ends of blonde hair he grasped her free hand and guided it to flip the book open. Shay felt a plethora of aroused giddy goosebumps prick her skin at the tenderly adorable action and found herself resisting the urge to crash her lips onto his more than ever before. The book now sat open on her lap and her green eyes instantly recognized photographs of smaller versions of Cash and her cuddled up under bright summer rays and blue skies. She remembered that day in Cape Cod quite clearly, they’d been looking for seashells in heaps of tan grainy sand the first summer after Huck Ewing left. Cash was notably happier that summer, Shay couldn’t help but smile at the memory despite how hard her heart was pounding at present moment.

“I remember that summer” Shay said in a soft breathless sounding tone, finally finding it in her to move and speak. She flipped through the pile of photos with a small smile on her lips, recalling every memory with a wistful feeling in her chest. One lone photo caught her eye, an old polaroid of Cash cuddled up in her bed asleep with the stuffed horse he’d won at the state fair for her the summer before eighth grade. Shay gingerly picked up the photo and closely inspected it with knitted brows. She couldn’t recall a time where she’d ever gotten out of bed before he did, even back then, she wasn’t an early bird like he was. She could tell by the soft glow spilling in through her smaller bedroom window, the picture was taken in the early hours of the morning.

“I don’t remember this one, when was this taken Cashy? We both know I’m never the first one out of bed” Shay said curiously, gingerly picking the picture out of the book and holding it up for him to see. Shay watched as Cash eyed the picture and swore, she saw another dusty pink blush sweep across his cheeks. Cash met her gaze with that emotion she could never quite place swirling in his eyes though her heart now told her what it could be, she couldn’t bring herself to believe it. At least not until three words rolled off his tongue and hit her ears like a warm lullaby, but part of her still felt like she’d never hear them. The nagging thought that his advances were purely sexual and nothing more had been nestled in the back of her mind since they had lunch with Pete and Daisy. Along with the even worse realization that she’d definitely allow it to happen just to finally have him, even if it was just once, even if it was just for a night and even if it didn’t mean the same thing to him as it would her. She’d handle the anguish of that earthshattering truth the morning after because she had to. Because, if his lips even brushed against hers, she knew, she wouldn’t be able to stop…

“That summer you went away I still slept in your room sometimes…all the time really. Your mom didn’t mind; I missed you and you weren’t answering the letters I mustered up the courage to send. I thought about flying out to California everyday just to see you, you know, but you said you needed space, and I didn’t want to intrude on your summer fun.” Cash admitted wholeheartedly, without even a hint of hesitation for Shay to fall back on. Shay took a deep breath, finding it in her somewhere, she turned to face him completely and with the action Cash’s thumb increased the pace of the circles he’d been drawing on the back of her hand. He was trying to sooth her in a way that made Shay feel they were on the same wavelength for the first time since they were thirteen. Shay found herself fighting the almost primal urge to capture him in a kiss once more because their eyes locked with such an intense familiarity it had her feeling breathless. As the first string of pure vulnerability rolled off her tongue with more ease than she thought she was capable of, since that morning they shared brunch. Even then she only scratched the surface, now she supposed she could say more without even going into the deepest crevasses that negatively shaped her woeful adolescence.

“I lied Cash, I didn’t want space, I wanted to be with you, and I wanted to write back but I didn’t know what to say. I was so confused about everything that summer, that whole year really. I just… didn’t know what to do, it definitely wasn’t fun, I was miserable without you, but I didn’t think you’d miss me that much because you had Opal.” Shay said, her voice was soft and trembling with every word, but her tone was perhaps the most honest it had been in years. She knew the confession wasn’t much in comparison to the things she held the closest to her chest, but she did see something within the blue orbs in front of her change. A look resembling realization but of what she did not know. She didn’t really have time to think much about it either because before she could register the fact that Cash’s face was inching closer to hers. Their lips brushed, in a way so unbelievably fleeting, yet so incredibly tantalizing, Shay thought she must have imagined it. In one of her daylight musings about amorous trysts with the boy next door, the only man who ever truly had her heart.

Shay gasped, gazing up at Cashton Ewing flushed and utterly dumbfounded when she realized he was so close to her, his handsome face was out of focus. All she could make out was a mess of blurry blue and the feel of his warm breath waltzing over her plump lips when the thought finally dawned on her that she hadn’t imagined it. Cash had in fact kissed her for the briefest of moments and with that realization, what was left of her faux resolve shattered. Shay didn’t give it much thought before she launched herself into Cash’s arms and crashed her lips onto to his, latching onto him like he was the only life preserver out in a sea of deep blue. Almost as if he was the only thing keeping her from being swept up in a tidal wave, the only thing keeping her from floating away, in a way he was.

Cash let out an audible groan that sent shockwaves of both arousal and pleasure radiating to Shay’s warm core. She felt dizzy as his strong arms snaked round the small of her back, carefully trying to pull her small frame even closer to his than she already was. Shay let out a breathless groan of her own as she tangled her small fingers in his soft grey tendrils the way she’d been dreaming of since they were teenagers. The kiss deepened in a way that teetered on a gentle, demanding sort of synchronized hunger that made everything around them seem to fade away. It was perhaps the most in sync, the most in the moment, Shay had felt with Cashton Ewing since that Valentine’s Day they laid on a frozen pond, staring up at the stars and feather like snowflakes. Shay had thought nothing could top the way she felt that night, lying next to him on a sheet of ice while he stared at her like she was the center of his whole world, but this moment took it all. It almost made the twelve years of silent pining and sleepless nights worth tiresome treading up a slippery slope, worth it. At least before reality set in and Shay found it in herself to let them both up for some much-needed air. They sat there in silence for what felt like forever. Eyes closed, panting, unmoving, and still clinging to each other in a sea of blue seemingly trying to process what had just happened. Shay immediately found herself wishing she hadn’t dared to come up from something as silly as oxygen because the act of doing so, brought her back to earth.

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Cash’s POV

Cash wasn’t quite sure what he had done to get to this moment. With Shay, the love of his life wrapped up in his arms. Kissing him the way he had only ever dreamt of for the past twelve years, part of him still couldn’t believe it was real. Not even when she pulled away to catch her breath, Cash found himself just staring at her. Taking in the way her perfect chest rose and fell while she sat straddling his lap, eyes closed, and cheeks tinted the most adorable shade of pink. It was moments like these Cash wished he had his camera; he’d take pictures of Shay all day if she’d let him the way she used to when they were free spirited kids running along sandy shores. Cash could never quite pinpoint why those days felt so far away. Perhaps it was the weight of getting older. The inability to block out the anxious internal ramblings that plague the dreaded period of one’s coming of age only seems to get harder as the years tick by. It’s only when you muster the courage to no longer let those anxious Broadway shows in your head no longer rule your life. Sometimes, it’s easier said than done but for reasons Cash couldn’t understand everything about that kiss felt easy, freeing even. The last time he’d felt this uninhibited was that summer before eighth grade, the last true summer he had Shay had spent together. Sometimes that summer felt like a lifetime ago, but this one kiss somehow made it feel closer than ever before, he could almost see it now. With the late evening sun streaming through the attic window, cascading over Shay’s sun kissed skin and short, bouncy blonde hair. It always seemed to frame her heart shaped face to some sort of ethereal perfection.

“How are you even real…” Cash breathed out just above a whisper, more so to himself than anything. His tone was soft but somehow still managed to make Shay jump in surprise where she still sat on his lap as his vibrato cut through the silence they’d fallen into. Cash held back an amused chuckle watching her pretty green eyes fly open to meet his smiling gaze. His smile faltered slightly as he quickly assessed that her green orbs were flooded with a stream of fear. He couldn’t remember the last time Shay had looked at him with anything other than what he could only describe as a cute sort of annoyed look on her face. Sometimes she put in the effort to hide it behind a tight smile that never quite reached her pretty eyes. Cash had grown to appreciate the effort because it meant maybe she thought about him half as much as he thought about her.

“Didn’t mean to frighten you, Cherry Blossom” Cash cooed, reassuringly tone running his hands down the small of her back in soothing motions with a bashful, yet comforting grin on his face. Shay wordlessly stared back at him for quite some time, her face and eyes were unusually expressive for the first time since they were hormonal teenagers.

“…I’m so sorry…” Shay finally croaked with tears brimming her eyes, her small arms wrapped around her torso in a clear effort to comfort herself. Cash couldn’t help the way felt his heart drop to his stomach at how frail her voice sounded as it floated out of her now quivering lips. This wasn’t the reaction he was hoping to get after an earth-shattering kiss like that, but it certainly put things in perspective for him. Shay’s inability to recount what really happened that day she refused to open her window or why she went away for a whole summer was one born out of anxiety and fear. Fear of judgment, the fear of Cash’s judgment to be exact. Cash watched Shay’s chest heave rapidly up and then down with soft blue eyes, a mix of sweat and tears fell from her rapidly moving eyes. They scanned the room, refusing to meet the blue eyes sat before them, searching for an exit the same way they had that last Thanksgiving they’d seen each other …

“You don’t have to be sorry, Cherry Blossom. I’m not…that was perfect” Cash said in a soft but careful tone, reaching up to wipe away tears rolling down her cheeks tenderly. He knew what he had to do now. It was something he should’ve at least done that Thanksgiving everything went wrong. Looking back at it now Cash could see that was the day Shay had tried to open the window for him again. He tried to convince himself she was just “asking for a friend” but he knew she wasn’t. Cash would be lying if he said his guilt for that wasn’t what spurred him to beat Tyler half to death in a hotel lobby that snowy day Shay called him in tears. A night Cash was most certain Shay didn’t remember but that was a conversation for another day, for now he’d comfort her in all the ways he wished he could over the last twelve years…

“I shouldn’t have done that. I’ve ruined everything… I’m so stupid!” Shay said between gasps and soft sobs. Cash shushed her, tightening his gentle hold on her now trembling body as she attempted to squirm off his lap. Cash knew what this had seen her like this only twice before. She was pulling away from him again both physically and emotionally the same way she had back then, and he wouldn’t let her do it. He couldn’t let her do it at least not now that he saw a possibility of this ending the way he’d only ever dreamt of… He just had to get her out of her head long enough to see that he’d loved her and always had.

“You didn’t ruin anything, Cherry Blossom, you’re not stupid. I’m going to take you downstairs it’s okay” Cash said calmly, still wiping away hot tears from her flushed cheeks with determination in his comforting blue eyes. Shay didn’t respond, her eyes seemed to still be looking for a flight-based exit strategy part of Cash wasn’t even sure if she heard him over her hyperventilating. Still, he guided her small trembling arms to grab hold of his neck.

“Hold on to me Cherry Blossom. You’re going to be okay; I’ve got you” Cash cooed in her ear reassuringly, moving his hands to grip the back of her thighs. He slowly rose to his feet taking great care not to jolt her already form too suddenly as he weaved his way through half unpacked tattered brown boxes. Shay seemed mostly unaware of what Cash was doing or where she even was until he made it to the top of the stairs, her small arms tightened around his neck greatly.

“I’d never let you fall, Cherry Blossom, you know that” Cash cooed along with an unrestrained string of sweet nothings. They poured out of his mouth the way waves crash on the sandy shore, smoothing her over with everything he had in him. And for once it felt easy, showering Shay with praise and care the way she’d done for Cash every night he’d crawled through her window battered and bruised. That feeling he had for her on those nights, that level of reverence he held for her even then at the ripe age of 7 never went away. It only bloomed, blossoming the way a cherry blossom does in spring with dazzling hues of pink.

“My chest hurts, Cashy, I can’t breathe…” Shay finally said still struggling to catch her breath when Cash finally strode into the kitchen. Her face was pale, and tearstained as she gazed up at him with the most helpless green eyes, he’d ever seen on her in his life. Cash gently shushed her once more, planting a tender kiss in her soft blonde curls, part of him wanted to cry right along with her. There was so much pain in her eyes and Cash didn’t know how he hadn’t seen it before but now that he had he would do everything within his power to snuff it out.

“You’re having a panic attack, darling. Just breathe honey, I’ll get you some water and your snacks and we can watch some Harrison Ford movies” Cash crooned, attempting to set Shay’s shaky form on the living room sofa but her grip on his neck only tightened. Where she even found the strength to cling to him this was way beyond Cash right now.

“Please don’t let me go, Cashy” her shaky voice hit Cash’s ear like some soft lullaby, but it was enough to deter him from setting her on the sofa. Cash nodded, silently plopping down on the sofa with Shay gingerly cradled in his arms; the action was enough for Shay’s breathing to slowly even out. Her green eyes were still clouded with a subtle amount of fear as they gazed up into his timidly.

“I told you, no judgment on my part Cherry Blossom, remember?” Cash said placing a few more reassuring kisses into her soft curls with the same matured reverence he’d harbored for her since his youth. Before he softly wiped and kissed the few lingering tears on her flushed cheeks. It was hard to believe they’d had that conversation some hours ago a few feet from where they were no because it felt like they’d moved mountains since then. Cash felt Shay truly relax into his touch for the first time since they were kids. Smoothly melting into him and his comfort the way sand smooths under crashing waves of blue. Cash was sure it wouldn’t last too long; Shay had made it clear she was going to need a lot of reassurance if this thing between them was going to become anything like the way he hoped. Anything like the way he dreamed but for once Cash felt confident in his ability to get her there and that was more than enough…. That was everything.

🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝

#thomas ian griffith #black friday 2007 #cash x oc #summer romance #friends to lovers #cuteness

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latejulys · 4 years ago

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t a g g a m e s!

tag people you’d like to get to know better!

i was tagged on this by @ohyoungjae! thank you, rabz! 🌸

favourite colour(s): changes a lot, but currently i really like apricot!

last song i listened to: sofia the first’s theme song 😖

favourite musician(s): billie eilish, melanie martinez, ariana grande, kehlani, got7, seventeen, shinee

last film i watched: the breakfast club

last tv show i watched: running man (we don’t have tv anymore, so does netflix count? lol)

favourite character(s): inej ghafa, kaz brekker, victor (vicious), cather avery, marco alisdair

pets: 2 dogs and 1 cat

sweet, savoury, or spicy?: spicy!! (i used to bring a jar of chili garlic with me all the time lmao)

i’m tagging @jaebam, @offtodef, @jackbamiels, and @cerulians!

create your own mini world!

thank you for tagging me on this, @rozegolden! 🌷

i’m tagging @monjae, @defnabeom, @tuanm, @jj-nyoung, @mara-twins, @dawnofus, and @madeitwang in turn! you may create yours here. ✨

create your fantasy self!

@day6core tagged me on this. thank u, apoorva! 🥺

you may create your own here! i’m tagging @differentgame, @poisonbeom, @nuclearbeom, @moonpjms, @wangtuanian and @girlonpanic for this one. 🥰

this or that tag!

i was tagged by @jj-nyoung! thank uuu. 🥳

wind or rain // closed curtains or open window // bumblebees or butterflies // banana bread or cheesecake // tulips or roses // lemon & honey or apple & cinnamon // hillside cottage or city apartment // warm or cool // book or video game // organized bullet journal or cluttered sketchbook // smoothie or milkshake // sunshine or moonlight // relaxing or productivity // holding hands or back hugs // sunset at the beach or stargazing in a field // poetry or prose // candle or diffuser // longing for the past or longing for the future // vocals or instrumentals // snowy mountain or rolling green hills

in turn, i’m tagging @presenteyesonyou, @got7, @seunie, @gotseventeens, @m-yien, @bbygyeom, @tuangelic, @gotdef, @marktodef, @defsbeom, and @2seokk!

#i missed so many games dsjasdjfs sorry for getting back to them so late!!#i also didn't do other games bc i don't know much about them fdsjhsjs #i didn't wanna spam so i put them all in one post lmao i hope u guys don't mind!!#and thank u for thinking of me and including me in them #🥺🥺🥺#as always no pressure on doing this if you're tagged!!#if you aren't tagged and u wanna do this feel free to as well <3 tag me on yours so i can see it!!#game

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theartofkregdkelley · 4 years ago

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“The air is of silver and pearl; the night is liquid with moonlight.” – Willa Cather 🕰✨⚙ "Tempus Fugit (Time Flies) Suite: Vol. XLI" 🦋🗝🎨 Acrylic, Ink, Silver Leaf, Antique Clock & Watch Parts (springs, dials, bezels, hands, gears, cogs, etc) c.late 1800s to early 1900s, Antique Sheet Music c.1890s, Painted Feathers (Butterflies), Antique Skeleton Keys c.1800s, Glossy Epoxy Archival ArtResin Glaze (shines like glass), On Aluminum Panel, 44 x 21 x 4" *Available at Art On Duval, A Procaccini Gallery @artonduval www.kregkelley.com 👨‍🎨 #timeflies #tempusfugit #modernart #artlover #artcollector #artgallery #artfollower #clock #contemporaryartist #artistsofinstagram #artonduval #artsy #keywestartist #clockart #silverleaf #antiqueclock #clockpainting #artbasel #silverlinings #silver #contemporaryart #blackandwhite #interiordesign #pollock #clocklover #quicksilver #blackandsilver #artcollector #abstractexpressionist #luxury (at Art On Duval Key West, A Procaccini Gallery) https://www.instagram.com/p/CNk3dvUh0Mf/?igshid=1x1eebe9q3edw

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marsbluepillalicecawdron · 4 years ago

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Research Chitty chitty bang bang- child catcher

The Child Catcher is a character in the film Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968) and in the later stage musical adaptation. The Child Catcher is employed by Baron Bomburst and Baroness Bomburst to snatch and imprison children on the streets of Vulgaria.

The Child Catcher is depicted as a black-clad, large-nosed man who is employed to hunt down children and take them away. He carries a large net of the sort used to catch butterflies, and a rather menacing-looking hook such as those used by old-fashioned abortionists.

My goblin character is very similar to the child catcher because they both kidnap children be the child Cather does it because of Enforce Vulgaria's anti-child laws. and the goblin does it because children are young enough to believe in things which aren't real (but are they) like Pixie Dust.

https://villains.fandom.com/wiki/Child_Catcher

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smithlibrary · 5 years ago

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Read More 2020 Immigrant Experiences A book about a person building a life in a new country (fiction or nonfiction)

Biography A Dream Called Home by Reyna Grande Alexander Hamilton by Richard Sylla Call Me American by Abdi Nor Iftin An American Family by Khizr Khan The Immortal Irishman by Timothy Egan

Non-Fiction "They take our jobs!" by Aviva Chomsky Detained and Deported by Margaret Regan Hunting Season by Mirta A. Ojito 97 Orchard by Jane Ziegelman

Classic My Ántonia by Willa Cather

Fiction How the García Girls Lost their Accents by Julia Alvarez Brother by David Chariandy The Wangs vs. The World by Jade Chang Little Bee by Chris Cleave Dancing with Butterflies by Reyna Grande The Museum of Extraordinary Things by Alice Hoffman Bridge of Scarlet Leaves by Kristina McMorris The Hundred-foot Journey by Richard C. Morais The Queen of the Big Time by Adriana Trigiani

Graphic Novel Alpha: Abidjan to Paris by Bessora The Best We Could Do by Thi Bui

Romance The Immigrant Brides Collection

Young Adult Americanized by Sara Saedi Anya's Ghost by Brosgol Vera Illegal by Eoin Colfer Ink Knows No Borders

#readmore2020

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imthepunchlord · 7 years ago

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cather-wren

replied to your

post

Me Rewatching ML: Jackady

If you look at the cast it actually says that the man that plays Gabe also plays HM, though what I would like to know is that if they are the same person then why are the facial structures totally different? I think that in the origins episodes you can catch a glimpse of the bottom of before he transforms, and as you said before he has a pic of mom in the broach why would HM have a pic of her if he wasn’t Gabe, there are to many unanswered questions and not enough answers

I don’t know about counting a shared voice actor to suggest the same. There are voice actors who will play more than one character in a show, though it is usually restricted to background characters that have an ep or two where they appear.

Sharing the same VA also does add to the possibility of Gabriel being a red herring to HM, and ML has done a red herring before with Volpina, with so many thinking that she was going to be a hero and she wasn’t. But it could add to him being HM, though I’m not too sure if that is a strong enough point to Gabe being HM.

Physical features is another thing that bothers me, but I do factor in that we don’t know the limitations on miraculouses and how many physical changes they can make. For sure they can change eyes and hair, which seem easy to do. But changing body type, seems like a stretch but could be possible? We’ll have to see more miraculous heroes, but so far, with our current heroes I haven’t seen any physical changes aside from hair and eyes. Thus far, this suggests they can’t do changes to the body, like make a more narrow head squared.

There are possibilities as to why HM has the brooch aside from Gabriel wanting his wife back. She could be HM’s sister, which could offer a similarity between the two personality wise, being expressive and tempered; they could’ve been close friends, they could’ve been previous partners, her picture could be a memento to a promise or deal he made with Gabriel to bring her back in return for his help. Maybe he’s the reason Mama disappeared and he’s holding onto it because he feels guilty. Maybe she previously owned the butterfly miraculous, wound up loosing it, and this is his way of letting her be with it again.

Another thing that kind of bothers me is that Gabriel you clearly see missing and adoring Mama, and in Jackady, he mentions her quite a bit. But I never see anything of HM missing her or talking about her, I just see him want power. Only thing to suggest he may care for her is her picture in the brooch but she doesn’t seem to be a passionate objective of his, just the miraculouses and power.

It is very curious, and we can only wait for s2 to hopefully give an answer. When it comes back from the war. One day. I hope.

#miraculous ladybug #speculation #Hawkmoth #Gabriel Agreste #cather-wren

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bastiansbardicdepression · 7 years ago

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y top books: The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller- this is a beautifully written story that gets me extremely passionate about Greek history!! Love and Gelato by Jenna Evans Welch- super funny and cute!! Not your typical 'girls mom dies and she moves in w her dad' it's set in Italy and they live on a cemetery I believe? Character development and comedy are golden. A Little Something Different by Sandy Hall- a college love story told in 14 different points of view. You heard me. These include but are not limited to: the love interests, a bench, a squirrel, professors, ect. Super short, cute, and funny, I recommend it to everyone. FANGIRL by Rainbow Rowell- I love this so much, social butterfly twin and socially awkward twin go to college, don't share a room for the first time. Socially awkward one writes fabrication for Simon Snow (aka Harry Potter), doesn't expect to like college and finds love. The twins names are puns, Cath (possibly Cather I'm not sure, she's called Cath) and Wren. The Geek's Guide to Unrequited Love by Sarvenaz Tash- short and super funny, two best friends love comics and go to a convention together to meet the recluse author of their favorite comic, geek wants to tell best friend that he loves her, doesn't go according to plan. The chapter titles are hilarious: 'real life: the final frontier' 'what's the opposite of a redemption song?' 'A new hope' ect ect. Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo- I literally love this so much, the character development and characters in general are so incredible and unique, kind of medieval but also magical beings like benders from ATLA and LOK. A gang of misfits tries to do an impossible heist, and they all have maybe like 1 redeeming quality and incredibly tragic backstories. Finally, Tiger's Curse by Colleen Houck- this has been, and always will be, my favorite book of all time. A girl in Oregon works a temp job at a circus after graduating, and meets a white tiger who acts suspiciously human. Surprise!! He's a 300 year old Indian prince who has been cursed, and she needs to help break the curse. I love it so much, please read it!!

SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS

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networkingdefinition · 5 years ago

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Water Lily Quotes

Official Website: Water Lily Quotes

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• A pure drop of rain may fall on a beautiful water lily or on a dirty mud pond! This is exactly what happens when we are born! – Mehmet Murat Ildan • And you’re too nice,” he added, above the lap-lap of the water and the patter of sand on the water-lily leaves. “I was relying on you being too jealous to let that demon near the place. – Diana Wynne Jones

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Water+Lily', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_water-lily').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_water-lily img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • But, for all that, they had a very pleasant walk. The trees were bare of leaves, and the river was bare of water-lilies; but the sky was not bare of its beautiful blue, and the water reflected it, and a delicious wind ran with the stream, touching the surface crisply. – Charles Dickens • Every child should have mud pies, grasshoppers, water bugs, tadpoles, frogs, mud turtles, elderberries, wild strawberries, acorns, chestnuts, trees to climb. Brooks to wade, water lilies, woodchucks, bats, bees, butterflies, various animals to pet, hayfields, pine-cones, rocks to roll, sand, snakes, huckleberries and hornets; and any child who has been deprived of these has been deprived of the best part of education. – Luther Burbank • Everyone knows French artist Claude Monet’s “Water Lilies,” which he painted in his garden. You find the images everywhere from galleries to dorm rooms and dentists’ lounges. – Ari Shapiro

[clickbank-storefront-bestselling] • He goes along just as a water lily Gentle on the surface of his thoughts his body floats Unweighed down by passion or intensity Yet unaware of the depth upon which he coasts And he finds a home in me For what misfortune sows, he knows my touch will reap – Fiona Apple • I have sat here happy in the gardens, Watching the still pool and the reeds And the dark clouds. . . . But though I greatly delight In these and the water lilies, That which sets me nighest to weeping Is the rose and white colour of the smooth flag-stones, And the pale yellow grasses Among them. – Richard Aldington • I have to accept my role. I will never kill myself like Vincent Van Gogh. Nor will I paint beautiful water lilies like Monet. I can’t do that. I’m in the idiot role of being a kiddie book person. – Maurice Sendak • In 1879 the Bengali scholar S.M. Tagore compiled a more extensive list of ruby colors from the Purana sacred texts: ‘like the China rose, like blood, like the seeds of the pomegranate, like red lead, like the red lotus, like saffron, like the resin of certain trees, like the eyes of the Greek partridge or the Indian crane…and like the interior of the half-blown water lily.’ With so many gorgeous descriptive possibilities it is curious that in English the two ancient names for rubies have come to sound incredibly ugly. – Victoria Finlay • In a marshland amongst the crocodiles, there float beautiful water lilies! Even in the Hell, one can find the good and the beauty. – Mehmet Murat Ildan • It took me time to understand my water lilies. I had planted them for the pleasure of it; I grew them without ever thinking of painting them. – Claude Monet • Nature seemed to have adorned herself for our departure with a profusion of fringes and curls, mingled with the bright tints of flowers, reflected in the water. But we missed the white water-lily, which is the queen of river flowers, its reign being over for this season…. Many of this species inhabit our Concord water. – Henry David Thoreau • She left the web, she left the loom, She made three paces through the room, She saw the water-lily bloom, She saw the helmet and the plume, She look’d down to Camelot. Out flew the web and floated wide; The mirror crack’d from side to side; “The curse is come upon me,” cried The Lady of Shalott. – Alfred Lord Tennyson • Swan flocks of lilies shoreward lying, In sweetness, not in music, dying. – John Greenleaf Whittier • The first place that I can well remember was a large pleasant meadow with a pond clear water in it. Some shady trees leaned over it, and rushes and water-lilies grew at the deep end. – Anna Sewell • The sky was a midnight-blue, like warm, deep, blue water, and the moon seemed to lie on it like a water-lily, floating forward with an invisible current. – Willa Cather • The water-lily, in the midst of waters, opens its leaves and expands its petals, at the first pattering of the shower, and rejoices in the rain-drops with a quicker sympathy than the packed shrubs in the sandy desert. – Samuel Taylor Coleridge • The world must live. We are only one species among billions. The gods don’t love us any more than they love spiders or bears or whales or water lilies. – Daniel Quinn • Where Cezanne captured and intensified shards of the eternal (every pear far more sharply defined than it could be in life), Monet portrayed the changeability and flux of every moment. ‘The Water Lilies’ give you a jittery, amorphous sense of a world seen at the speed of light. – Jerry Saltz

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'a', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_a').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_a img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'e', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_e').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_e img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'i', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_i').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_i img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'o', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_o').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_o img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'u', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_u').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_u img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

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equitiesstocks · 5 years ago

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Water Lily Quotes

Official Website: Water Lily Quotes

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push();

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virgo-mess · 6 months ago

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The Birds and the Bees

🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝

Chapter List

1.Alexithymia- The Inability to Express your Feelings Parts 1 and 2

2.The Woes of Adolescence/ What the heck Happened that Summer Parts 1 and 2

3.Caught in a Summer Storm/ What the heck Happened that Christmas.

4.Summer Bluffs? Part 1

5.Disco, Strippers, and Margaritassss Part 2

6.Sleepless in a Hotel Suite Part 3

7.Shades of Pink

8.The Things I’ve Dreamed Part 1

9.Renewal Part 2

🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝

TW: Mostly just fluff and repressed feelings, I ended up splitting this chapter into two parts for my own sanity, ENJOY!

The Woes of Adolescence/ What the Heck Happened That Summer Part 1

🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝

Shay's Pov

The days leading up to the wedding ticked by like the hands track the minutes and hours on a clock, some days flew by, and others were agonizingly slow. Shay wasn’t sure which she preferred, the fast days were the ones where she and Cash had the most fun. They seemed to get along better on those days when the planning felt less like planning and more like hanging out, but not the way you hang out with a friend. It felt more like dating than anything and Shay found it comparable to those carefree, albeit fleeting beginnings of her relationship with Tyler and those early buddings of her crush on Cash. When the butterflies in her stomach were endless and the bashful giggles were a dime a dozen, the sweet days. The ones before Shay’s anxiety induced depressive spirals surfaced as a result of her parents’ contentious divorce and threw a wrench in her and Cash’s friendship. The quote on quote, sweet days, in her and Tyler’s relationship, however, were the ones before his narcissistic and abusive tendencies surfaced. Shay was about as happy as she could be in those days, having settled for being in a relationship with someone she only kind of liked because the person she really wanted felt just out of reach.

The slow, tedious days Shay and Cash spent planning, however, were a lot less fun. They were the days she and Cash seemed to do nothing except bicker, they couldn’t agree on anything on those days. That was the primary reason they still hadn’t managed to come to a consensus on the bachelor parties. Shay knew she was just being difficult but how could she not be? She had come to a point in her life where nothing made sense anymore and being with Cash, the man she could admit she wholeheartedly still loved, was only making her more confused. There were moments they’d shared over the past week or so, intimate ones, where Shay got the feeling, he wanted to kiss her as much as she wanted to kiss him. That talk at brunch about their dreams was one of a few. Shay couldn’t stop thinking about the way his fingers ran down her arm, the way his thumb caressed her cheek, and the way his ocean blue eyes gazed into her in a way that felt like he was seeing into her soul. Shay had evidently mistaken the emotions swirling in his blue orbs, but it wasn’t like it was the first time Cash had brought her hopes up to an embarrassing all-time high.

“Shaylee, where are you?” Shay’s mother, Maggie Harris’ chipper voice floated out at Shay from somewhere down the hallway near her bedroom. Shay craned her neck to peer down the hallway from her current sprawled out position on the living room couch and saw her mom standing in the hall with a suitcase by her side for the trip she was taking this week with Cash’s mom Jo. Her long blonde hair was pulled back into a high ponytail and her blue eyes were scanning Shay’s empty bedroom slowly, people often mistook Shay and her mom for sisters more so than mother and daughter. Shay never really thought they looked all that much alike aside from the blonde hair. Shay had her father, Beau Harris’ eyes, whom she only really saw on holidays because their close relationship suffered significantly when she came home from school early one day to find him cheating. Not that Beau Harris hadn’t tried to adamantly repair the rift that his infidelity had caused between them, in fact he still called her once a week to catch up and ask her how she was doing. The answer was always the same of course, fine just fine. Shay supposed she should forgive him by now but for whatever reason, she couldn’t help but still feel so betrayed.

“I’m in the living room” Shay said, turning back around to put a bookmark in the book she’d been reading before fully sitting up. She filled most of the time she wasn’t wedding planning or hanging out with Cash reading, she hadn’t really had a chance to read for pleasure with all the long and often times sleepless nights she spent going through client files and crunching numbers back in New York.

“There you are, what are you reading? You know you’ve got boxes full of books in the attic still, I thought you were going to ask Cash to come over and help you with all that stuff up there?” her mom said, walking into their open concept kitchen and living room with her suitcase rolling behind her. Shay didn’t miss the almost impish grin on her face as she stared at her from the kitchen island and eyed her mother suspiciously from her spot on the couch with an arched eyebrow. Maggie Harris had been nosier than usual these few weeks that Shay had been home and that was saying a lot, to say the least. After that summer between eighth grade and high school, Maggie Harris, had become a bit of a hover parent. Not that Shay could blame her, that meltdown she had on the last day of school that year, the day she locked Cash out, refused to open the window, and screamed at him for the first time ever was a rollercoaster for them all.

“Between wedding planning and trying to talk him into a western themed bachelor party I forgot, I guess… Why are you looking at me like that?” Shay asked her wearily, the impish grin on her mom’s face only seemed to grow as she shuffled towards the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water.

“I’m not looking at you like anything, pumpkin but I figured you forgot so I asked him myself. Jo put a lot of his stuff from the basement up there when she was having it renovated and with both of you lovebirds gone for the past two years, we haven’t gotten around to getting everything back over there. Cash said he’s more than happy to help you with the attic and to keep you company while I’m gone” She replied taking a seat on one of the bar stools near the island with the same grin on her face. Shay felt her cheeks flush at her mom insinuating that she and Cash were anything more than friends.

“Mom, Cash is only hanging out with me because Pete and Daisy gave him no choice... we’re just friends. I can go through the stuff in the attic by myself and make sure he gets his stuff back; I don’t need a babysitter. I’m fine, really.” Shay sighed; she knew what her mom meant by Cash keeping her company. She knew it as soon as Miss DeDe Green stopped her at the farmers market last weekend and asked, “But how are you really cupcake?”.

“I know you don’t need a babysitter Shaylee Rose; Cash isn’t coming to babysit you at all. Have you ever considered he just likes spending time with you, I only asked him to help you with the attic he’s the one that wanted to keep you company.” Maggie said there was a sincere note in her tone, but Shay still found herself highly doubting her words given her mother’s meddlesome history.

“Uh huh, and what excuse was that mom” Shay huffed, rising from her spot on the couch she felt a bit, exasperated as she walked over to join her at the island. Maggie chuckled under her breath as she reached out to stroke Shay’s cheek affectionately.

“His exact words were ‘She’s got to stop leaving unlocked lower-level windows around your house Mrs. Harris, it’s not safe. I’ll help her with the attic and crash on the couch for a few nights, so she doesn’t get kidnapped.’” she said with amusement swirling in her blue eyes.

“That’s what I said but he insisted I leave it unlocked for him like I used to, or he’d wake me up before 9:30” Shay huffed rolling her eyes to herself at Cash’s silly antics, he had reined in a good portion of his usually, incessant teasing over the days they’d spent together, much to Shay’s surprise. At least when they weren’t having a bicker fest that is, an action which had Shay feeling as confused and besotted as she was when she was fourteen. Which only meant all those anxious and insecure tendencies she had during those bewildering days of her early teens were starting to resurface the more time she spent with him. She could tell Cash was really putting forth the effort not to escalate their bickering into full on arguments, but part of Shay found herself wanting him to. There was so much to be said and they both knew it…

“That sounds like another excuse to spend time with you to me. He sure had a lot of them when you were kids too.” Her mom said with a fond smile on her face. Like she was recalling memories of the summers their families spent down in Cape Cod before happy homes became less happy. Doomed in the gloom of a tumultuous melodrama, fit for a some scandalous tell-all, at least that’s what everyone in town said.

“What do you mean.” Shay said, propping an elbow up on the granite counter, she rested her chin in the palm of her hand and looked at her mother in expectation and mild suspicion. She could feel one of her mother’s deep, heart to heart chats quickly approaching and Shay wasn’t sure if she could handle another one, it would be about the fourth heart to heart chat since Shay had come home. Cash of course had been the subject of every single one of them.

“Well, he didn’t have to spend the night every day after Huck was gone did he?” Maggie said with a knowing smile though her blue eyes were still incredibly impish as they held Shay’s gaze. Shay pondered her statement for a brief moment, she hadn’t really considered the fact Cash didn’t have to spend as much time with her as he did back then after Huck Ewing went to prison and basically dropped off the face of the earth after his release. Shay always just assumed it was because Jo needed someone to keep an eye on Cash while she was busy putting in extra hours at work so she and Cash wouldn’t have to move to a more affordable section of Plymouth.

“I don’t know, I guess I never really thought much about it because he stopped doing it by the time I got home that summer. He kind of just left me alone” Shay said, she caught a glimpse of a memory in her mother’s eyes like she was recalling something Shay knew nothing about. She wished her mom, Daisy, and Pete would just get over wanting her and Cash to talk everything out and just spill whatever it was they were all holding back. It was very obvious they all knew something she didn’t…

“Did he or maybe you were just having a hard time seeing too far outside of yourself, Shaylee?” Maggie asked in a soft but pointed tone, Shay let out another sigh partly in exasperation and partly in relief that the awaited heart to heart was finally being laid out on the table.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Shay asked mostly just to humor her mother but also because she was genuinely curious what wise, parent psychology mumbo jumbo she was preparing to throw at her today. Shay watched the last remnants of the impish proclivities leave her mom’s blue eyes, they became a soft mix of maternal seriousness and sincerity as they gazed into Shay’s green ones.

“You were very much going through the woes of adolescence that summer, pumpkin, that whole year really. There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s normal and scientifically proven teens are a little self-centered during those years. Adolescent egocentrism is what they call it, it makes it hard for you to accept other points of views, makes you feel like the world’s out to get you, and everyone is judging you. Even if they’re not and I know the divorce only made this worse for you.” Her mom admitted in a soft tone. Shay wordlessly nodded her head in acknowledgement, feeling a little exposed among other things.

“Oh, so you think because I was suffering from Adolescent egocentrism among other things, I may be misremembering things about Cash and our friendship. Okay mom…” Shay muttered more to herself than anything else, her mother wasn’t wrong, and she found it mildly irritating. That age when you realized your parents were right, that they did get it, and they weren’t just saying it because they’re your parents, was actually no less aggravating than the age when you shouted the opposite at them constantly. Shay wasn’t quite ready to give her a “you were right mom” just yet…

“You could be… take going through your old things as an opportunity to look at stuff with a pair of fresh eyes, maybe there was something you missed the first time around, maybe you might even find yourself up there…hmm. Fourteen is a rough year for everybody, things that seemed easy to say suddenly aren’t. The woes...” Maggie trailed with a faint smile on her face because she of course knew what Shay was actually thinking. Shay rolled her eyes to herself and wondered why her mom’s motherly intuition radar was always on the up and up.

“The woes of adolescence got it mom no need to get so philosophical on me…” Shay said just as a soft thud came from her bedroom. Shay rolled her eyes, peering down the hall she saw Cash clamber in through her bedroom window with a large black duffle on one arm and a few bags of groceries on the other. He set his duffle near her bed before his tall, muscled frame stalked down the hall and into the kitchen with the groceries and a big grin on his face.

“Hey Mrs. Harris, Cherry Blossom” he greeted in a cheery tone and dumped the bags on the kitchen island. Shay peered down at all the bags to find a plethora of her favorite snacks, candy, and a few decks of playing cards.

“Not babysitting me, huh, he brought games and snacks…” Shay said raising an eyebrow at her mom pointedly, Maggie flashed her an almost sheepish smile. Cash looked down at her amused as he rounded the island and wrapped his strong arms around Shay’s waist in the form of a tender embrace. Shay jumped slightly in surprise at the action because she still wasn’t used to Cash being this touchy with her. The hugs after that lonely summer were so far and few between but each one still had nervous, smitten butterflies swirling in her stomach every time.

“Hadn’t planned on babysitting although I am the oldest and the most mature out of the two of us blondie. We’re just best friends having a sleepover like old times.” Cash said teasingly into her ear, Shay felt his chest rumble against her back as he let out a soft chuckle and placed a long kiss into her hair, gingerly. Shay felt her stomach do about a dozen nervous flips and let out an almost nervous giggle despite herself at the display of affection.

“I think that’s the best joke you’ve made in a long time, Cash, Cash parties always a smash” Shay said nonchalantly, ignoring the way her cheeks flushed a bright, rosy shade of pink at the feel of his lips brushing against her ear as she craned her neck to give him a teasing smile.

“I resent that title, Cherry Blossom; Pete was the one throwing the parties I was just providing the space. Cute jammies by the way” Cash crooned, toying with the thin strap of her floral top as he stared down at her with a coquettish smile on his face. Shay rolled her eyes at him almost playfully though she was sure her face was the brightest shade of pink imaginable by now. She hadn’t missed the way his eyes would linger on certain areas of her body the last few days and she’d be lying if she said it didn’t give her a bit of an ego boost though Shay wasn’t sure what to do with that information.

“Yeah, a space for underage drinking. How’d you become a cop again, were all your teachers at the academy divorcees that caressed your muscles during target practice or something?” Shay said teasingly, though the thought of Cash being in such a predicament had her heart twinging with jealousy. Cash let out another soft chuckle, his blue eyes were swirling with amusement and his smile was still tormentingly coquettish as his arms tightened their hold around Shay’s waist ever so slightly.

“No but if you’re looking for an excuse to caress my muscles darling, you don’t need one. You can touch ‘em all you want while I’m moving boxes in the attic, can’t believe you forgot to ask me to give you a hand for a whole week Shaylee.” Cash said teasingly, Shay rolled her eyes again though her heart was racing a mile a minute at the mere thought of running her hands down the length of his arms and chest. She’d had a number of heated dreams about doing just that since she was a hormonal teenager and even more so now that she was a lost, single woman approaching her thirties. This past week alone Shay had endless dreams about the amorous entanglements that would follow her running her hands along his chiseled form in both a passionate want and need. Fantasizing really, and no amount of time, distance, or the mental cage that came with a traumatic sham of a relationship could prevent her mind from getting lost in a maze of steamy yet romantic trysts with the man that really had her heart. Shay held onto those deeply personal entanglements and yearnings in her perfectly crafted, sheltered fantasy world of unbridled passion and romance. A world void of the fears and loud thoughts that talked her out of crossing that pesky imaginary line Shay had convinced herself lay between her and Cash Ewing. Shay gazed up at Cash absentmindedly for what felt like forever, he held her gaze with an unreadable emotion now swirling in his ocean blue eyes though his smile was still mildly coquettish even as beaming as it was at the present moment. Maggie Harris cleared her throat, breaking the brief stretch of silence that had lulled in the air. Shay felt her cheeks heat up again under her mother’s amused gaze.

“Skipped my mind, he’s been very distracting you know mom, with his Casanova ways.” Shay said, she felt Cash tighten his hold on her waist yet again and his chest rumble against her back tantalizingly. She gazed back at him still rosy cheeked as she tried to stifle an amused, slightly smitten, giggle under her breath.

“I think you’re starting to like my Casanova ways, Sweetheart.” Cash crooned in a flirty tone and rested his chin on her shoulder with an almost sheepish grin on his face as he stared deeply into her eyes. Shay stared back at him, completely breathless with the familiar fluttering of butterflies in her stomach. She found herself resisting the strong urge to kiss him again, she’d been resisting the urge to throw herself at him for days now and she wondered just how long she’d be able to keep it up. That imaginary line between them grew blurrier with each of the clocks tedious ticking hands. Shay’s mom cleared her throat again, pulling Shay and Cash out of their intimate staring contest with an almost smug smirk on her lips.

“You two are going to have a lot of fun this week, I can already tell so it’s best I get out of your flirty way. Please keep her busy Cashton, when you’re not here all she does is lay around all day and watch TV.” Her mom said pointedly as she slipped off the bar stool and made her way towards the pair, wheeling her suitcase behind her. Shay let out a breathless sigh and narrowed her eyes at her mom’s subtle attempt at bringing the long-buried events of that lonely summer to the surface again. If there was one thing Maggie Harris would go down in history for, it would be stirring the pot.

“That’s not true… today I laid around and read a book.” Shay said giving her mom a weary look in warning. Shay didn’t think she could handle trudging up the past yet, though she wasn’t sure why such a thing scared her so deeply. It’s not like Cash could gossip about her past predicament to the whole school now or anything, so what was standing in her way?

“Make sure she eats something too.” Maggie said, ignoring Shay’s statement as she focused her blue eyes on Cash. Shay’s eyes only narrowed further as she looked quickly between her mother and Cash with a scowl-like pout on her face. She couldn’t believe the two of them were actually trying to have a silent conversation in front of her right now, all while Cash still had her wrapped up in his arms.

“Alright Mrs. Harris” Cash said, lifting his chin off Shay’s shoulder he flashed her what she could only assume was an attempt at a reassuring smile. Shay looked up at him suspiciously and wondered just what he and her mother had discussed when she wasn’t around and when they even had managed to make time to talk about her.

“This sounds an awful lot like babysitting to me…” Shay muttered under her breath, Cash flashed her another smile and began dragging his hands in soothing motions along her exposed waist and navel. The action was almost titillating enough to make Shay forget how annoyed she was getting with her mom’s meddlesome scheming. Shay felt a small wave of arousal wash over her at the feel of Cash’s large, warm hands caressing her now goosebump ridden skin. She found herself stifling a surely erotic sounding sigh of contentment as she gazed up at him doe eyed, nibbling on the inner side of her cheek while her stomach did excitedly nervous flips. Cash seemed to only pick up on her nerves though, he bowed down to place another tender kiss in her hair with a trace of a blush on his cheeks. Shay’s eyes fluttered closed, trying to rein in the now ragged breaths of want and need, escaping her lips. The clock’s tedious ticking seemed to slow to a pause for the briefest of moments and that invisible line was quite nearly erased from Shay’s mind when Cash’s lips left her hair and dared to ghost her flushed cheek. Shay’s eyes snapped open in a bashful surprise and met Cash’s deep blue orbs and sheepish grin once more. But the moment was over as quickly as it began, and the imaginary clocks tedious ticking resumed in Shay’s head with an almost spiteful vengeance as Maggie Harris’ next words hit Shay’s ears.

“She’s been a little depressed, you know.” Her mom said in a soft matter of fact type of tone that made Shay’s jaw clench in frustration. She so wished her mother would stop telling people her problems and diagnosing her whenever she saw fit. Sure, Shay was down in the dumps the past few months… or years, but that didn’t mean she was beyond repair…

“Mom! Stop telling people I’m depressed!” Shay scolded her with a now prominent scowl on her face though her stomach still made excited flips with each soothing pass Cash’s large, calloused hands made over her exposed skin. It wasn’t enough to subside Shay’s annoyance as she glared at her mother with a flushed face.

“Relax pumpkin, it’s just Cash.” Maggie said softly, but her tone was dismissive. Shay let out an exasperated, low groan and ignored the way Cash immediately pulled her small frame closer to his chest when she tried to take an attempt at an intimidating step towards her smug looking mother.

“It’s not just Cash, I know you told DeDe Green the same thing!” Shay said pointedly, Maggie let out an exasperated sigh of her own and gave Shay one of her scolding, maternal stares. Shay let out another groan, though it sounded more like a growl with her increasing annoyance, Cash increased the pace of the soothing patterns his slightly rough finger pads made against Shay’s skin.

“Okay! Mrs. Harris, I think my mom is waiting for you in the car. Pretty sure I heard her honk the horn. You guys go have a good time at the festival this week, Shay and I will get that attic all cleaned out for you, don’t worry.” Cash said reassuringly, he made a few more soothing caresses before finally letting go of Shay’s waist to grab her mom’s suitcase. The loss of Cash’s warm body against hers left Shay feeling cold and almost empty as his sudden shift away from her brought her back to reality. The invisible line was becoming less blurry, but Shay still found herself reaching back out to him with a shaky hand instinctively because all she ever wanted was to feel his warm touch all over her skin forever. Cash glanced back at her with a soft expression on his face and laced her small shaky fingers with his large steady ones. Shay flushed again, this time in embarrassment that she’d reached out for Cash without even thinking about it though part of her wished she could do things without thinking about it all the time. Especially when it came to Cashton Ewing.

“Okay, bye you two have fun but beha…” Maggie Harris didn’t get to finish her sentence because Cash began insistently ushering her towards the front door, rolling the suitcase with one hand while his other held Shay’s so tenderly she thought her heart might burst as his thumb caressed the back of her hand. Shay couldn’t help but stare at their interlocked fingers with a bashfully smitten blush and smile on her face, she could hear her mother babbling about something, but it sounded a lot like when the adults on Charlie Brown talk, utter nonsense.

“Yeah, okay, bye mom, have fun.” Shay said in a dismissive tone that definitely sounded snarky, but Shay was still too focused on Cash and her interlocked fingers to care. It still caught her by surprise when he’d hold her hand even though he held it the whole way into the restaurant mere days ago. In the moment, their tender touches and instant chemistry always made sense to Shay, but the aftermath always left her feeling so confused. She often found herself rethinking every detail of the time they spent together when she sat awake in the wee hours of the morning staring out her window. Something she’d be doing tonight without a doubt, to talk herself out of her brain mistaking Cash’s… friendliness for anything more than it was, for anything more than it meant to him even if it meant the world to her…

“Bye Mrs. Harris, tell my mom bye again for me” Cash said sharply, Shay looked up from their hands for a moment to watch Cash usher her mom out the door hastily before all but slamming it shut. Shay gazed up at him sheepishly through her thick lashes, her mind was still reeling a mile a minute and she found she was unsure of what to do with herself. There were voices in her head screaming at her to let go of his large hand, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. In fact, Shay found herself inching closer to him mindlessly.

“She’s getting to be too much in her old divorcee age, we have to get her a boyfriend or something…” Shay said jokingly though her expression was incredibly sheepish as she gazed up at Cash with doe like green eyes. Cash bit down on his lip and let out another soft chuckle as he gazed back down at her with a coquettish glint in his blue eyes once more. The action had Shay getting swept up in another brief current of arousal and she found herself biting down on her own lip with a dusty pink blush spreading across her cheeks. Her eyes lingered on his lips for longer than necessary…

“Her and my mom both, they’re a little too invested in our lives… They’re going to spend the whole festival gabbing about us you know.” Cash crooned causing Shay to pull her eyes off his lips to meet his gaze with a sheepish smile on her face. Cash returned her gaze of course but she could’ve sworn Cash’s blue orbs had been lingering on her lips the same way her green ones had been on his. Shay awkwardly cleared her throat and realized their fingers were still perfectly intertwined like two pieces of a puzzle. Sometimes Shay thought she and Cash were made for each other because she never really felt complete unless he was somewhere near. In fact, she felt mostly empty without him she swore he was the only one who could make her feel anything and everything….

“Yeah, I’m sure they are…I’m uh, not depressed you know.” Shay trailed softly, finally making an attempt to move towards the attic staircase. She half expected Cash to just let go of her hand at that point, but he didn’t. His grip only tightened on Shay’s small hand as they ventured down the hall towards the attic, almost like he was trying to keep her from slipping away from him somehow though she was sure it was just her mind running away from her again. Shay wondered how he hadn’t figured out she never wanted to slip away from him to begin with. If he’d asked her not to go to NYU all those years ago, she would’ve stayed in a heartbeat, without a second thought but he never did. So, she went off to live something resembling a life though it felt more like existing than living.

“I know you’re not depressed Cherry Blossom…nothing wrong with saying you’re having a hard time though. You wouldn’t be the only one, you know so, no judgement on my part beautiful.” Cash said in a gentle tone of reassurance, Shay felt her cheeks heat up again at the word beautiful rolling off his tongue effortlessly though she couldn’t help the wave of suspicion that washed over her. He hardly ever commented on her appearance after that bittersweet Valentines Day at the movies. Which she took as confirmation of his guilt for inviting her to fifth wheel on his double date at the time. Sure, Cash tried to make it up to her by taking her ice skating and buying her heaps of her favorite candy before retreating back to her house for one of their traditional movie nights.

“Right, Casanova. Are things not going so well for you over in New Jersey?” Shay said lightheartedly though her tone was sincere as she met his gaze for the first time since they wandered out of the kitchen. Cash looked down at her with an unreadable emotion swirling in his eyes just as they stopped their stroll at the bottom of the attic stairs. Shay could feel the sudden emotional shift between them almost instantly and she found herself regretting asking such a prying. She knew a serious conversation between them was inevitable, but she so wished it could wait until she was done holding his hand…

“Jersey is… alright I guess I don’t really know many people outside of the department so, it gets a little lonely. I spend most of my free time staring out my apartment window, watching the waves on the Hudson River.” Cash said softly, Shay caught the faintest hint of a blush sweep across his cheeks at the admittance and found herself wondering why he found such a detail embarrassing.

“I think most adults do that Cashy that’s nothing to be embarrassed about, making friends in adulthood is hard I only talk to people from work too. At least you have a good view of the water, my loft is big and all, but all that space makes it feel quite lonesome and on top of that it only has views of the Manhattan skyline. I’d prefer the Hudson River; you know for homesick sake.” Shay said sheepishly, she wasn’t sure why she’d openly complained about her sequestered loft in such a way. She’d complained about such a thing once to a coworker and was met with the poor little rich girl spiel about how she should be grateful she had a nice expensive loft in the heart of Manhattan. And Shay could understand why she should be grateful to some extent, but a spacious loft didn’t take away the fact she now had no one to share it with. Cash tugged on Shay’s arm slightly, pulling her out of her inner ramblings with a serious look in his ocean blue eyes.

“Well, my apartment is on the smaller side, but I’ve got a view of the river and Manhattan Cherry Blossom. I wouldn’t even charge you rent considering you’re on the fence about making a career shift and all…” Cash trailed nonchalantly, Shay raised her brows at him in dumfounded surprised as she processed what he was proposing to her right now. They’d had several conversations like this when they were kids, she remembered a particular conversation when they were about ten. When Cash declared they’d run away from Plymouth and be together forever, promises only a child untainted by the morose weight of adulthood or the woes of adolescence could make.

“Are you…asking me to move in with you Cashton?” Shay asked with her eyebrows still raised in surprise even as her green eyes took in the fact that his expression was undoubtedly sincere. Cash nodded his head almost instantly.

“Well yeah, I think it would solve both of our lonesome problems and you’ll save a ton of money moving out of the city. Just letting you know it’s an option, I don’t need an answer right away or anything just think about it Cherry Blossom.” Cash shrugged nonchalantly, in a way that made it seem he was talking about something as casual as the weather. Shay nodded her head in acknowledgement even though she had no intention of actually considering such a proposition. Her feelings for Cash Ewing were way too deep for Shay to needlessly torture herself by being his roommate no matter how much she wanted to.

“I don’t think I want a roommate Cash but thanks anyway…um, let’s get started on cleaning huh” Shay said shifting the conversation to something seemingly less daunting and awkward for the time being. Cash nodded his head wordlessly, but Shay thought she saw a hint of dejection in his eyes even as he tightened his grip on her hand yet again as she began to walk up the stairs. An obvious thick layer of uncomfortable silence had fallen between them now and Shay couldn’t help the guilt now swirling in her stomach at the look on Cash’s face no matter how brief it was.

“I haven’t been up here in ages… I see your mom’s been busy with renovation too. It’s very cozy up here now” Cash said trying to ease some of the tension in the air when they halted at the top of the stairs. Shay nodded her head in agreement, taking in the new plush sectional, freshly painted walls and sleek entertainment center her mom had put in the attic sometime over the last few years.

“That makes two of us, no clue why she wanted a second living room, but it looks nice. The last time I was up here I was redoing my bedroom, that’s what most of this stuff is. Some of it’s yours too though I guess, from when your mom redid the basement. You want to bring some boxes over and I’ll plug in a movie?” Shay asked softly, Cash nodded his head once again, but Shay was happy to see a smile make its way onto his face for the first time since they left the kitchen.

“Sure thing gorgeous, but I’m going to need my hand back” Cash said in a soft teasing tone that had Shay’s face flushing a vibrant shade of pink. She reluctantly unlatched her now clammy hand from Cash’s larger one just as a sheepishly nervous string of laughter escaped her lips. She could hear Cash chuckling under his breath before placing a ginger kiss into her hair for the third time today.

“We’ll be holding hands again before the days over, trust me, Cherry Blossom. Why’d you redo your room anyway if you don’t mind me asking” Cash said lightheartedly, Shay watched him pile large cardboard boxes into his strong arms for an embarrassing amount of time. She couldn’t help but be transfixed by the way his rippling biceps flexed with every move he made She had to all but force her feet to walk over to the entertainment center so she could focus her eyes and rein in the implosion of impure thoughts and inklings that stomped through her head at the sight.

“Just wanted something new it was all a bit juvenile, and I know you thought the pink and orange were nauseatingly obnoxious. I thought you’d like the muted blues and grays better, but you didn’t really come over that much after that summer a…” Shay shrugged to herself as her hands rummaged through the entertainment center’s cabinets full of old DVDs and VHS cassette tapes.

“No Shay, I loved your bedroom that way what gave you the idea that I didn’t?” Cash asked seriously. Shay could tell he was near the couch now even with her back turned towards the TV, she let out a soft sigh as she finally settled on When Harry Met Sally for the time being.

“Cash, you don’t have to lie alright I heard you telling Pete and Opal May that you hated it, it’s really okay. I don’t care about it anymore believe me.” Shay said dismissively, placing the disc in the player and hitting the close button. She made sure to wipe the trace of a scowl off her face before she turned around to meet Cash’s gaze, his eyes looked a mix of confusion, anger, and offended all at the same time when they met hers from his spot on the couch. He looked surprisingly small surrounded by heaps of brown boxes full of long forgotten repressed memories and feelings….

“I don’t know what you overheard Shaylee but it’s just not true. I really liked your room I spent more time in yours than I did my own because everything in it was warm and comforting. Especially when my dad was around, I couldn’t really sleep well anywhere else because I felt safest there with you.” Cash said in a way that was so soft and vulnerable Shay swore she felt her heart melt and shatter simultaneously. Shay’s brain didn’t quite register exactly when her feet had carried her over to the couch or Cash’s side but before she knew it, they were face to face. Close enough to kiss him if she wanted to but she couldn't go there…

“If I knew it was that level of comforting for you Cashy, I never would have changed it, I’m so sorry…” Shay’s voice was barely a whisper by the time her arms had flung themselves around his neck in the form of a tender embrace. She could feel Cash snake, his strong arms around her waist and the warm tantalizing caress of his hot breath hitting her cheek and hair as he buried his face in the crook of her neck.

“It’s okay Cherry Blossom, really” Cash cooed out in a reassuring tone just as his hands started to run along her spine in soothing circles. Shay let out a content sounding sigh at the action and felt small waves of whatever emotion was bubbling inside her leave her small form with every pass Cash’s hands gently made over her exposed skin.

🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦��🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝🐦🐝

#thomas ian griffith #cash x oc #eventual smut #summer romance #friends to lovers #not so slow burn 👀

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