#but yeah my room is nice and the flat is pretty central and super close to the bus and train stations

[pinktinselmonstrosity]

i'm the only who's moved in to my flat so far this is so weird

[tonystarkficrecs]

Hey, i hate to bother you again, but have you seen endgame yet? Also do you have any really happy fics?

I have!! I’ll be doing my best to avoid spoiling anything for anyone and I’ll make another post about it, but if/when I rec any fics containing Endgame spoilers, I’ll be using the tags #endgame and #endgame spoilers. 

I’m putting the recs under a cut because this list grew really huge really fast (19 fics!!). They’re the happiest, fluffiest ones I can remember reading (and if that’s not enough, check out the fluff tag for more!). 

The (Not So) Great Pretender by RayShippouUchiha

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 19,585

Pairing: James “Bucky” Barnes/Tony Stark

Completed: Yes

“What,” Tony says softly but with a great depth of feeling, “the actual fuck just happened?”

“I believe, Sir,” JARVIS pipes up from the phone in his pocket, an unnecessary amount of what sounds like glee in his voice, “that you’ve once again managed to maintain your closely guarded secret identity. Truly your subterfuge skills know no bounds.“

“You’re an asshole J,” Tony mutters back as he reaches up to rub at his temple. He either has a headache coming on or a blood clot. At this point he’s honestly not sure which he’d prefer.

“I did learn from the best, Sir,” JARVIS tells him sunnily.

i babysat god and he stabbed me with a fork by surveycorpsjean

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 11,395

Pairing: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange

Completed: Yes

If these two idiots don’t sort out their shit real soon, Loki is going to stab everyone in this room and then himself.

What I Need I Just Don’t Have by gyzym

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 2,199

Pairing: James Rhodes/Tony Stark

Complete: Yes

If you want this choice position, have a cheery disposition. (Or: Tony needs an assistant. Rhodey needs a break.)

Phil Coulson’s Case Files of the Toasterverse by scifigrl47

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 287,890 (series)

Pairing: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark (+various other pairings)

Completed: No (most works in series completed) 

Short stories from the Toasterverse, because the author gets panicky writing long form stories built around plot and has to finish something in order to function.

Phil has problems with these people. So does the Author.

Late Nights and Bare Bottoms by Shi_Toyu

★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 1,947

Pairing: James “Bucky” Barnes/Tony Stark

Completed: Yes

Tony stared down at the gingerbread cookies that’d been placed on the edge of the work station. It’d been the smell that’d drawn him out of his tunnel vision. He didn’t normally smell gingerbread in the middle of August. He blinked hazily, but the plate of cookies didn’t disappear. They were still warm, too, when he picked one up and bit into it.

God, and delicious. He moaned and stuffed the rest of the cookie into his mouth, already reaching for another one.

“You like them.”

Tony nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of Bucky’s voice, but in a flat tone. The super soldier loomed behind his chair, hair a tangled mess and face completely blank. He was dressed in Clint’s ‘I love to rub my meat’ apron and what appeared to be nothing else.

“Uhhh… yes?”

don’t know why it took me so long to see by goodmorningbeloved

★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 11,209

Pairing: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Completed: Yes

“Oh, watch this,” Natasha says, propping her chin against her knuckles and turning a sweet gaze on him. “Tony, what’s it like dating a superhero?”

Tony bristles in irritation. “We’re not dating,” he snaps. “Captain America probably thinks he can get into anyone’s pants just ‘cause he’s got a mask, costume, and reputation, but not me, buddy. That shield? Gotta be overcompensating for something.” He adds, a bit petulantly, “Oh, and all that blue? Definitely more Steve’s color than his.”

-In which Tony is a genius in all matters except recognizing his boyfriend past a mask.

No, He’s Your Son by orphan_account

★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 1,420

Pairing: Gen (pre Tony Stark/Stephen Strange)

Completed: Yes

peter, on the phone: dad i forgot my homework can you drop it off in the seminar hall it’s empty don’t worry

strange: ok

strange, walking out of a portal into a hall filled with students:

peter, loudly: EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM OWES ME FIVE DOLLARS I TOLD YOU MY DAD WAS A WIZA-

may the fourth by irnan

★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 1,762

Pairing: Gen

Completed: Yes

So there’s this project Tony has been working on since he was ten years old which is only marginally less awesome than the specs for the TARDIS he totally could have built if Fury would’ve just let him had the Tesseract for a couple hours longer.

Peter Parker’s Step-By-Step Guide to Get These Two Dumbasses to Kiss Already by everythingsace

★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 3,781

Pairing: James Rhodes/Tony Stark

Complete: Yes

Rhodes was on the floor, his legs pulled up beside him, and Mr. Stark was kneeling down beside him, asking questions and checking if he was okay.With the biggest heart-eyes he’d ever seen.Peter’s jaw dropped as he stared, his eyes turning to Rhodes, only to realize that he had the doe eyes, too. Not quite as bad and obvious, but holy shit.Holy shit.

Tony Stark is the Alyssa Milano by Akira_of_the_Twilight

★ ★ ★

Words: 1,388

Pairing: Peter Quill/Tony Stark

Complete: Yes

Prompt: Starkquill where somehow Drax was the first one to notice that Tony and Peter were into each other, but he’s been around humans for a while now and he understands that if you tell them things directly they’ll just do the opposite and ruin everything for everyone, so he’s going to get them together using… metaphors

“Kidnapped, enjoys space, likes your music, and can dance,” Drax listed off.

Peter grinned. “Yeah, pretty cool dude. I might actually miss him by the time we get him back to Earth.”

For a man who had been in search of a partner for as long as Drax had known him, Drax was surprised that Peter was unable to see his perfect match right before him.

Earthlings could be quite stupid sometimes.

Rocket Science by marsmaywander and orbingarrow

★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 12,094

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark

Completed: Yes

Sleep-deprived and under-caffeinated, grad student Tony falls asleep in a conveniently empty classroom and wakes up in the middle of Bruce’s Physics 101 course. After seeing a groggy Tony fumble a simple question, actual-student Bucky offers to tutor him. In a moment of “oh no; he’s cute” panic, Tony takes him up on it. Now, in addition to his already complicated life, Tony has to figure out the answer to the incredibly messy question: “How do you look like you’re failing the class, when you literally wrote the book?”

i stole the keys to this guy by kellifer_fic

★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 6,007

Pairing: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Completed: Yes

Where it was Nick Fury’s idea, but he didn’t mean it like that.

The Tongues of Men and Angels by copperbadge

★ ★ ★ ★

Words: 2,369

Pairing: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark

Completed: Yes

Extremis has a few unexpected benefits.

Pint-Sized Parker by flyingonfeatherlesswings

★ ★ ★

Words: 3,636

Pairing: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange

Completed: Yes

Tony is called away from a meeting to deal with a now toddler-aged Peter Parker, who went snooping around in Stephen Strange’s spells.

carpool introductions by sapphirestark

★ ★ ★

Words: 2,401

Pairing: Gen

Completed: Yes

“It’s - it’s nice to meet you too, Colonel Rhodes, sir. I’m Peter. Uh, Parker.”

“I heard.” Rhodey smiled. Well, teenage Tony had certainly never been this polite. “Just call me Rhodey, kid.”

“O-okay, Rhodey.” Peter’s timid smile transformed into a grin. Rhodey decided he would definitely rub that in Clint’s face the next time he claimed Rhodey wasn’t good with kids.

“Are you kidding me?” Tony interrupted from the driver’s seat. “He’s Rhodey after two minutes and you’re still calling me ’Mr Stark’?”

Angry Genius White Noise by copperbadge

★ ★ ★

Words: 520

Pairing: Tony Stark/Pepper Potts

Complete: Yes

One of Pepper’s favorite activities after a long day is putting on sci-fi movies and watching Tony dissect their bad science. He’ll happily spend two hours curled up against her and ranting about the flawed central plan in Armageddon and how REALLY, HE HOPES AN ASTEROID HEADS FOR EARTH, HE’LL SHOW HOLLYWOOD HOW TO REALISTICALLY AVOID AN EXTINCTION-LEVEL EVENT, DAMMIT. Pepper finds it oddly relaxing, like angry genius white noise. Add in Bruce, and she could sell tickets.

The More You Know by Nokomis

★ ★ ★

Words: 2,457

Pairing: Gen

Completed: Yes

Peter’s first post-mission Avengers hang out goes about as well as one would expect.

home is where the science is by IntrovertedOwl

★ ★ ★

Words: 2,566

Pairing: Gen

Completed: Yes

Tony wasn’t jealous.

The very idea was ridiculous. Laughable. Absurd.

In fact, he was pleased.

Yes, that’s what he was. Pleased. And a little smug.

But the Best of Men by lusilly

★ ★ ★

Words: 2,113

Pairing: Gen

Completed: Yes

In which Tony introduces a fifteen-year-old boy to Steve, and Steve is touched that Tony would introduce him to his son.

(Except he’s not Tony’s son, he’s the newest Avenger, and Tony’s just completely oblivious to how parental he’s become.)

[2k18leo]

“Could you be happy, here, with me?”

((You guys are super sweet with the nice comments I received from uploading my last piece of writing! This one is a lot longer than the previous.  Hope you enjoy! :) ))

“And you’re sure?” Leo asked, raising an eyebrow. He led you to the manhole cover in the alleyway on 6th.

“Hell yes, Leo!” You said excitedly. “I’m tired of only seeing you on rooftops and Central Park. You’ve been to my apartment. I think it’s only fair that I see where you live and thrive.”

He smiled at you, making his mask wrinkle a little near his eyes.

“Okay, but,” he began, “it’s not nearly as nice as your apartment, okay?” He put his hand out and grabbed yours, running his thumb back and forth along your fingers. “It’s… full of guys, for one thing. So—”

“Leo,” you began, cupping his cheek with your other hand, “you’re stalling. C’mon, I’ve already met your family -- I mean, except for your dad, but--”

“Yeah, well, he’s hardly off his lazy ass.”

“Leo!” you laughed, scolding him for that disrespectful comment.

You leaned up and kissed his cheek, “C’mon, I can’t pull up this sewer cover myself.”

“Alright, y/n, but just know … you asked for it.” Leo crouched down and pulled up the cover to reveal a dark opening.  You caught yourself staring at his flexing biceps for a moment. A soft warmth grew across your cheeks.  A smile formed on your face as you checked out the turtle you had a crush on.

Once the manhole cover was completely off, the smell of the sewers hit you pretty instantaneously.  He put out a hand for you to help you down into the almost-pitch blackness that was the sewer. Hesitantly, you made your way down, gripping the rusted ladder bars that would soon take you into an underground world in which you’d be practically blind to. After you were far enough for Leo to climb in and pull the manhole cover back into place, you wished you had brought a flashlight. With no solid ground seemingly coming any closer under you, you tried your best to see through the jet black space, but nothing. The only reassurance that you weren’t alone was hearing Leo’s own steps on the bars right above you.

“I’m surprised you haven’t made a comment about the stench, yet,” said Leo, giving a laugh.

“I wasn’t gonna say anything.” You smiled up at him even though you doubted he could see it.

You finally hit a flat surface under your foot. It was nice to be off the ladder, but you still had no idea about your surroundings, so you tried to stay as close as possible. When Leo dropped down next to you, you could feel his fingers lace with yours.

“Okay,” he whispered, “Since you thought it was a good idea to wear that cute-ass outfit today—”

Your mouth dropped in a half-smile, “I wanted to look presentable when I met your father!” It was so dark, you could hardly tell if your eyes were open or shut. But, you could hear his soft laughter next to you.

“Whatever,” he scoffed. It was almost as if you could hear him smiling. Without any warning, his arm hooked under the back of your knees, making you let out a small gasp, and he picked you up bridal style. Your arms wrapped around his broad shoulders as he began to walk. While you were astonished that he was so calmly walking through this pitch black maze, you also figured that he had made this trip thousands of times. It took you far too long to realize that you had a flashlight on your phone. Pulling it out of your back pocket, you instantly illuminated the scene.

“Hm, so that’s what it looks like down here,” said Leo, thanking you for the light that he still had no need for.

He walked on and on for about ten minutes or so, having made multiple turns both right and left. The darkness beyond the shine of your flashlight was eerie and gave you goosebumps.

By the time you had lost count on how many turns he had made, you started to see a faint light in the distance.  Now, there were old subway tracks beneath his feet instead of the murky water that Leo stood in when he began the walk.  You let him put you down and the two of you walked the rest of the way side by side, each step making the light glow brighter.  It was an abandoned subway station, hardly recognizable, where they lived.  The only part that made you believe it used to be a station was the line of turnstiles at the entrance.  He led you up to the turnstiles and you saw his home for the first time.  It was actually beautiful, considering it was underground in a literal abandoned subway.  Walking in, you saw multi-colored lights strung up and around walls, bean bags scattered about what appeared to be the living room, and the entirety of the lair was even bigger than you had imagined.  

“Okay,” said Leo, “It’s not usually this nice.  The boys must’ve cleaned for once while I was out.”  He called out his brothers names to let him know he was back.

Donnie was the first in sight, walking by while fiddling with his gadgets on his arm.  His expression proved he was lost in thought, but the sight of you made his eyebrows fly up in surprise.  “Ah, y/n, yes, good to see you.  Always a pleasure--”

“Y/n’s here?” You heard a voice call from the other room.  Almost immediately, Mikey leapt in with a wide grin across his face.  “Hey, girl! How you been?” He greeted you with a hug around your middle.  You laughed and answered, saying that you had just recently landed a job at a local smoothie joint near your apartment.  

“I mean, it’s not pizza, but oooh, girl, I could get down with some smoothies!”

While Mikey started going off about a story recalling this one time Leo had made him laugh so hard some smoothie squirted out of his nose, you heard Donnie say that if anyone needed him, he would be in his lab.

Suddenly, a booming sound started, making you look around to find Raph running towards you.

“Y/n!” he shouted, slamming into you and wrapping you up in his huge arms.  You could feel the ground depart from your feet.  Picking you up was like lifting a feather for him.  

“It’s great to see you too, Raph!” You said through a strain.  

“Whoa, whoa,” you could hear Leo say somewhere beneath you, “That’s my girlfriend, don’t break her, Red.” His voice wasn’t full of concern, but more of laughter.  

Raph plopped you back down on your feet, “It’s been too long, Shorty.”

“Yeah, I guess it’s been about two weeks since I’ve seen you guys,” you replied, smiling up at him.

“Well, you here now!” Mikey leaned his elbow on your shoulder, “An’ we got a full day of crazy-fun things to show you!”

“We do?” Leo cocked an eyebrow.

“Hell yeah!” Raph fist-bumped Mikey, “C’mon, y/n, we got a video game set up so get ready to lose.”

You began following Raph and Mikey, laughing, “Nah, I’mma kick you right in the shell!”

Leo watched you walking off with his brothers.  A smile grew across his face; he was pleased to see how well you got along with his family.  

After about an hour of playing video games, the only one who you couldn’t beat was Mikey.  Donnie joined in when you all started playing foosball.  The boys were surprised how good you were at that game.

“Dude,” Mikey addressed Leo, “She’s kicking our asses!”

Leo laughed, “Yeah, why else do you think I’m on her team?” He sent a smirk in your direction as he nudged you with his elbow.

“Well, statistically speaking, someone else should have won by now.” Donnie said, frustrated that it had been over eight turns since he had made a shot.  

It wasn’t long before the turtles gave up trying to beat you at foosball, and moved to the living room for a movie. On the walk there, you saw a figure moving by.  It was short, grey, and had a long tail that trailed behind it.  You could only assume that this was--

“Oh, Pop!” Leo called to the figure, “This is y/n.” He put a hand around your waist and used the other to gesture to you.  “Y/n, this is my dad.”

The short creature looked up at you. It was a rat.  You don’t know why, but you had always pictured an old turtle when Leo spoke of his father.  But a rat?  I mean, you weren’t judging.  Everything about this family was different already.  That’s what you loved about it.  You put out a hand to greet the rodent.  It’s whiskers twitched momentarily, just as its snout did, sniffing you out.  His hands were full with a steaming cup of tea, yet he balanced the cup in one hand as he let go with the other to extend it to you.  The handshake was gentle, and he gave you a small smile, which you returned.  Though no words were said between the two of you, you felt that he accepted you at least as an acquaintance.  

After the rat hobbled away into what you figured was his room, you turned to Leo.

“Don’t worry,” he said, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, “He just doesn’t know you, yet.  Give it time.  C’mon, Mikey’s making popcorn.”

He led you over to the living room where a projector portrayed a screen on a wall.  Donnie was setting up the movie while Raph was lugging in a pile of blankets.  

“Okay, boys,” said Donnie, tinkering on the projector, “what genre are we thinking tonight?”

“Rom-com!” Raph shouted, dropping down into a bean bag chair.

Leo put a hand to his forehead as he said, “Raph, we did a rom-com last week and you were the only one that wanted to watch it then, and you’re the only one that wants to watch it now.” Leo smiled at you as you stifled a laugh. The two of you sat down on a single, large bean bag, his arm wrapping around you.

“Ooh, horror!” Mikey cried, walking in, balancing a few bowls of popcorn.

“What did you call me?” you shot him a look.  Mikey stopped in his tracks, his eyes staring wide and his face flushing of color.  

“I—wait—no, I didn’t mean—” Mikey stammered.  

You cracked up in laughter.  Leonardo grinned at you, letting out a small laugh of his own.  Your laugh was one of the many things that made Leo fall so damn hard for you.  When Mikey realized that you were making a joke, he heaved a sigh of relief.

“Yeah, D,” you said after your fit of laughter, “Horror sounds great.”

Mikey walked by, handing you a bowl of popcorn to share with Leo, “You two are perfect for each other.”

You looked up at Leo, smiling, and he did the same down to you, giving you a squeeze on your waist.  As Donnie began the movie, you nuzzled up next to the blue-clad, pulling a blanket over the two of you.  About half-way through the movie, you looked around at the others.  Donnie was asleep, his head leaning on a propped up arm.  Raph and Mikey were snuggled so close together with wide eyes, staring at the screen.  They both had blankets nearly covering their eyes for a jump scare that could spring out at any moment.  You figured Leo was asleep due to how still he had been for the past twenty minutes.  His chest rising and falling at a slow, steady rate, which moved you ever so slightly as you were leaning on him.  So, it definitely caught you off-guard when he whispered into your ear,

“Thank you.”

“For what?” You asked, drawing your eyes away from the screen to look up at his deep blue eyes.  You adored the faint glow of his red stripes due to the random flashes from the movie.

“For coming down here… for wanting to.”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I want to?” you whispered, furrowing your eyebrows.

“It’s just… here with us.  Do you think you could actually -- could you be happy, here, with me?  Like, really?”  His eyes were staring so deep into you, begging for a positive answer.  You don’t believe he has ever felt like this towards anyone else before you.  It probably wasn’t that often he brought a girl home.

A small smile flashed across your face as you answered sweetly, “Absolutely.”

A smile of his own, larger than yours, grew so wide it wrinkled his mask.  He closed his eyes, leaning down to touch his forehead to yours.  He let out a small laugh of relief before kissing you sweetly.  You could feel the arm he had already-wrapped around you flex as he wrapped the other arm around you in a hug.  He then began to cover you in kisses around the corner of your mouth, your cheek, and your jawline.  You giggled quietly until Raph and Mikey shushed the two of you.

“Ay!” Raph whispered loudly, “If you two are done bein’ all cute and--” he was cut off by a scream on the movie, making him gasp so loud he nearly screamed.

You and Leo chuckled at Raph, then silently decided it was best to continue respectfully watching the movie.  You nuzzled again into Leo, resting your head on his plastron.  You could feel him rest his cheek on the top of your head.  His thumb grazed back and forth across your arm.  Once again, your eyes looked between the sleeping Donnie, the terrified expressions of Raph and Mikey, and the turtle you rested on.  This was a life you could see yourself living.  It really was.  Right at Leo’s side.  Could life get any better than this?

[chibisquirt]

Celestial Navigation remix teaser

This isn’t even its final form.

No, seriously, this isn’t anywhere close to even a first chapter first draft.  It will change!  And I’m not writing it right now.  (I would say “I’m not writing The Thing,” except that that would be true, and this would be The Other Thing.)  I’ll probably seriously start work on this sometime in...  April?  May?  Right around then.  Definitely not during Remix Madness, not unless I can somehow work three work shifts and write *eyeballs it* 60-100k in two days.  

Don’t hold your breath.

But @sabrecmc​ said she loved my idea, and I wanted to get it down before I forgot it.  So this is... the start of an idea.

I had fun with it, anyway.

Tony stormed into the lab in a bitch of a mood, but he really didn't think he could be blamed.  Fury's words were still ringing in his ears like a boxing blow.  

“We have no problem with Iron Man; Iron man does damn good work.  And we have no problem with Tony Stark; Tony Stark is revolutionizing every lab we got in this damn place.  But Tony Stark and Iron Man being one and the same?  Yeah, that we kinda have a problem with.”

In the wake of Afghanistan, Tony had been adamant that Stark Industries would no longer make weapons that could fall into the wrong hands.  He couldn’t shut down every operation— SI was under contract for up to three more years, in some cases, and they couldn’t afford the fallout of breaking those deals— but all the contracts they were bidding on were dropped, and Tony had flat-out refused to consider any future deals making weapons.  

But he wasn’t willing to just shut down the company wholesale, so alternatives had to be found.  SI already made body armor and flight prototypes; Tony had ramped those categories up, adding green energy and communications to their list of milieus.  He had SI producing with his usual high standards within months, and SHIELD was his biggest contractor.  

Of course, once he had SHIELD clearance for those contracts— which weren’t being offered to the military yet— it made sense to bring Tony in as a contract engineer, too.  For the last three months, he had been romping around as many SHIELD research departments as he could find, and been playing merry hell with all of them.  (Except for linguistics; the linguists were a little weird, even for him.)   He already had a helicarrier under development, as well as some prototype hard-light armors that no one other than SHIELD would ever be willing to pay for.  He even had his hands in SHIELD’s perennially doomed efforts to create a super-soldier, not that he expected it to make a difference.  SHIELD had been failing at that one since back when they were the S.S.R., Tony didn’t exactly expect it to succeed now.  

The science division was about fifteen floors of the Triskellion (twenty-seventh to forty-second, in fact), but the central area of the twenty-seventh floor was its own little access way:  if you wanted to get anywhere in the science division, you had to go through there.  

Tony swanned into that science lobby like Alan Rickman entering a potions dungeon.  

“Alright, kids, show daddy the good stuff," he said, and a dozen Beta scientists leaped to obey.  Ten points to Ravenclaw, he thought, and sneered at the first project that came under his nose.  

Well, okay, come on— that wasn’t being in character, it was just a really bad design!  “Why did you put your damn rotors on the bottom, Evans?”  As if Tony didn’t already have a migraine...

“I thought— it’ll make for less wear on the bolts to heave up the body than to pull, right?  So—”

“First of all, no it won’t.  And second of all, it’ll increase the wear on the rotors themselves—”

“No, but— it lands in water, right?  I mean we’re not doing this from land, or anything—”

“ — and at those speeds, the water may as well be concrete!  This isn’t grade school—”

Evans got the message.

Tony worked his way through them, the UAV’s and the phasers and the—

“Please don’t call it that.”

“Well, if you come up with a better name than the ‘night-night gun’ I’m sure we’ll be happy to change it,” the little Beta huffed.

— and slowly worked his way through to the back of the lounge where the scruffy-looking Dr. Banner was waiting.  

“Done with the scrum?” Bruce asked.  He sipped his tea.  

“Mostly.  Saving the best for last.”  Tony pasted on an encouraging grin, just for him.  

It wasn’t Bruce’s fault, it really wasn’t.  Bruce was a good damned scientist, careful and thorough and painstaking, but with an effortless grasp of higher concepts of physics and chemistry that still seemed to elude some of his more decorated colleagues out there.  It was Bruce’s bad luck, though, to be assigned to the shittiest project in the whole place.  Seriously:  if the projects were potions students, Bruce’s was Neville Longbottom.  And it wasn’t fucking fair— but then, very few things were.

Plus, at this point, Bruce was contributing to his own relegation.  It wasn’t like his good work had gone unnoticed— if no one else had tried to scoop Bruce, then Tony would have.  But as Tony had been informed— repeatedly, and at a variety of volumes, some of which had not been necessary, thank you, Fury— Bruce had stubbornly insisted that he could crack his stupid Super-Soldier project, and had remained, slowly chipping away at it, for over a year after he could have been reassigned.

That was honestly the only reason Tony was even interested in the project.  It was a bad idea; far too much potential for abuse, for one thing— what if you super-soldiered the wrong guy, and got a madman?  So Tony jumped on board to help Bruce get done faster, and then he started screening the candidates, too— just to make sure they were all people he would trust with super-powers.  It took up more of his time than anything else he did here, but it was also a bigger challenge:  psych evaluation wasn’t exactly Tony’s strong suit.  See exhibit one:  Stane, Obediah, betrayals thereof.

“Got a new batch of subjects in,” Bruce said mildly.  “I know you like to meet them.”

“Fabulous; something else to fail at.”

Bruce stopped and pivoted halfway through the door of his department, raising his eyebrows in surprise.

Tony sighed.  “Nothing.  Meeting with Fury went... poorly.”  

Bruce tipped his head to the side, but didn’t push.  Very restful guy, Bruce.  Tony really did like him.  “First one’s through there,” was all he said, pushing through and back to the exam rooms.  Bruce’s department was set up so much like a doctor’s office that Tony suspected it had originally been intended to be one, and the decor didn’t help:  muted tones and uncomfortably-padded furniture.  He even had magazines in the waiting room, although, being for SHIELD agents, they were more Guns&Ammo than out-of-date US Weekly.  

Tony snagged the file out of the holder on the back of the first exam room door.  “Barnes, J. B., Level 3 SHIELD Agent,” he read off.  “Fabulous, more spies; just what we need.”

Bruce nodded unironically and headed to the lab— ostensibly to run tests, but Tony knew that was where he kept his teapot, and his mug was suspiciously empty.  Mark down another on the list of people who drink around me, Tony thought, although the thought was a lot fonder than it usually was.  “Be nice to that one,” Bruce instructed.  “I like him.”

“Good lord, why?”  Tony opened the door.  

“I’m serious, Tony; he’s on the short list.”

Tony blinked, and then without another word, stepped through, closing the door behind him.

J. B. Barnes was tall and fit, a Beta wearing a SHIELD uniform.  So, they hadn’t pulled him off of an assignment for this, then.  Closer examination revealed the cast on his left arm:  a-ha.  Benched, for now.  His hair was brown, eyes pale— blue or gray, hard to tell at this distance— and his ears, apparently, were sharp, because he was grinning.  

There was something familiar about that grin...  Tony shrugged it off.

“Name and birthday?”  

The grin barely faltered— no more than a sixteenth of an inch.

Okay, and right off the bat, that one was probably on Tony; they were required— stupid Bruce and his stupid scrupulousness about protocols— to confirm the identity of the people they were talking to before discussing any medical records.  But Tony didn’t have to say it quite so sharply.  He didn’t usually spit the words “name and birthday” like they were going to take out Gilderoy Lockhart, after all.  So once Barnes had confirmed that, yes, he had been born March 10th, twenty-one years ago, Tony settled into the little doctor’s stool, did a full rotation because wheelie stools never got old, and apologized.  “Been a long day,” he explained it, “people being difficult.”

“And by people you mean pirates?”

Tony almost didn’t get it for a second, because it was said so blandly it might as well have been asking his oatmeal preferences, and because it was so unexpected coming from a Level 3 agent.  “You usually that irreverent about Fury?  He might keel-haul you.”

Barnes grinned again.  “I have a well-established pattern of snark,” he admitted.  “There’s a reason I’m only a level three.”

Tony looked back at the chart again. “You’re a baby,” he said absently, “don’t take it personally—”

It was a pretty impressive chart, though.  “You can shoot.”  

“Yeah, a little.”

Barnes could probably win gold at the olympics and be set for life, given the numbers from his last round on range.  Sure. “A little,” Tony repeated dryly.  “Interrogation specialist, really?  ‘Exceptional problem solver,’ what does that even mean?  And you speak...”

“Five languages— well, okay, the Irish is mostly profanity.”

Tony hefted the file.  “This says four.  Counting the Irish.”

Barnes shrugged.  “The Klingon’s more recent,” he admitted, “and it really shouldn’t count anyway, there’s only, like, three thousand words—”

“Closer to thirty-five hundred.”

“It’s not Chinese, though, right?  I mean...”

Tony’s mouth twitched.  “It’s not Chinese, no.  Or... Russian, apparently.  Huh; eclectic.”  

“Thanks.”

“It wasn’t a compliment.”

“There a reason you’re busting my balls?”

Tony paused.  More of the snark?  Or was he really being too harsh?

“I mean, given that Doc Banner just told you he likes me.  Either you’re trying to break me— which, good luck, chill out though because it’s not going to happen— or you’re in a legitimate shitty mood.  In which case, I’d rather not be your punching bag.”

There was something about how he said it...  The young man wasn’t saying it to push, like another Alpha would have.  He wasn’t saying it defiantly, either; it wasn’t like he was daring Tony.  That one was a standard technique in Alphas and Betas alike:  the Alphas used it to start a fight, the Beta’s used it to make the Alphas look irrational and over-emotional.  It usually worked pretty well in either case, too, although Tony had seen it often enough in boardrooms that he could handle it.

But that wasn’t what was going on here, and the difference was so obvious it set Tony blinking.  The guy— Barnes— was just stating a fact, that was all.  “Here’s what I see, and that’s how it is.”  No bravado, no push— just truth.

Which neatly left only one possible response.  “Sorry,” Tony said again, and meant it this time.  “Pirates.  You know.”

“Perils of the high seas,” Barnes agreed.  “But it’s just us up here in the crow’s nest; you wanna talk about it?”

Tony laughed, impressed by the balls on the guy if nothing else.  “No.”

“Could help.”

“No,” Tony repeated, struggling to keep down the simmering heat that had been resting behind the arc reactor since his meeting with Fury delivered his ultimatum.

“Look, we like what you do, Tony— there’s no doubt about that— but Iron Man is too reckless, too borderline suicidal, to also be the guy essentially running every research operation we have!  Add to that, every analysis we’ve got—”

Tony had sent Natasha Romanov, sitting at the table with them, a dirty look, but she had just blinked slowly at him and Fury hadn’t checked his tide of words.  

“ — has indicated that Iron Man is a dysfunctional personality— and that was even before we knew he was also you.”  

Tony caught his breath.  Iron Man was the best of him; hearing that even his best wasn’t good enough... that hurt more than he wanted to admit.  And certainly not to Fury.  

“He is headstrong, disregards the standard protocols of operation, twice he’s put our other agents in danger—”

“Point of order:  he can’t put your ‘other’ agents in danger because he isn’t one—”

“I don’t care, Stark.  Make a show.  Be stable.  Invest in the future—”

“What do you think the whole ‘green energy’ thing is about?!”

“ — personally invest.  Hell, get yourself an Omega!  Pop out a couple kids!  We’ll all pray the brains are heritable and the personality isn’t.  Just... don’t break things, for once in your goddamn life.  Show me you can be a team player, and I’ll think about it.  Show me you’re not an adrenaline-junkie mess, and I’ll welcome you back with open arms!  But until that happens, Iron Man— and you— are barred from all aspects of the Avengers Initiative.”

Fury had almost made it to the door when Tony’s head snapped up.  “You know,” he called, “if you don’t break things, you can’t put them back together with improvements!”

The only answer was the whisper-soft slide of the Black Widow’s boots as she followed Fury out the door.

“Unless you’ve got an Omega in your pocket,” Tony said now, his voice approximately as dry as a dead cactus, “I’m shit out of luck.”

Barnes froze.  He blinked, and then blinked again.  He looked around the room as if scanning for cameras before bringing his head back around to meet Tony’s eyes.  “I mean...”  He rubbed his palms along his navy blue trousers as if he were trying to rid them of sweat.  “...You can’t tell Fury.”

Tony froze, thinking about it.  It had been an offhand joke, a throwaway line designed to get the conversation back on course.  But then again...

Tony was about to make a very, very, very large mistake. He tossed Barnes’ file on the counter.  

“Tell me more.”

[star-trekkin-across-theuniverse]

Vital Signs, Part 5

Word Count: 2099 Tags: @to-pick-ourselves-up-7 and @outside-the-government, @jimfromsales, @donnaintx 

I woke up to my pager and was momentarily disoriented. I lifted my head from the textbook I’d dozed off into, wiped the drool from the corner of my mouth and checked the message. As usual, I was wanted in the ER.

After returning to finish my residency at Midtown General, it became apparent very quickly that SHIELD, and in particular Director Fury, had made it clear to my residency program that I was to be accelerated through to finish as soon as possible, and that I needed my focus to be trauma. As a result, I always kept a clean set of clothes in my locker, and I hadn’t seen my apartment in about 6 days. TV shows might lead you to believe that a lot of naughty happens in the on-call rooms, but I would have killed anyone who came near me looking for blow off steam. I was too tired and too worried about my boards.

I ran down to the ER to find out what was happening. I checked in with the triage nurse.

“Hey, thanks for answering my page. There’s a really hot guy here with a deep laceration on his arm, and he said he knows you and only wants you to treat him. Curtain two.” She handed me the chart. I flipped it open as I opened the curtain and couldn’t help but smile when I looked up.

“Captain Rogers! It’s been too long,” I said warmly. He smiled back and then directed his gaze to his arm. He pulled back the makeshift dressing he was holding on it. I dropped the chart.

“Holy shit, Steve. What the hell?” The gash in his forearm was about 3 inches long and oozing blood. I grabbed a pair of gloves and started poking at it.

“Would you believe this is a gym injury?” He blushed.

“Really? The equipment is fighting back?” I pulled a dressing cart behind the curtain and set about cleaning it up. It was a clean tear, but it was deep.

“Actually, yeah. It’s a long story, but part of a press machine popped apart.”

“At least I know your tetanus shot is up to date,” I laughed, “but you’re going to have to help me out. I know your healing is accelerated, but is it enhanced too? If you were a normal guy I would put a couple of internal stitches in and then stitch up the laceration, but I don’t know if that’s appropriate here? You must have been hurt at some point during the war, right? What did the docs do then?” I was trying to keep quiet. Most people had no idea that Captain America had been found, and thawed back into life. It was probably why he sought me out for treatment.

“I’m not magical, Lex. If you would put stitches in a normal guy, then I need them too. I’ll just need them out sooner than the average guy,” he chuckled. I shot him a look and opened the dressing cart to dig for sutures. I stitched his wound closed and put a dressing on it.

“I’m going to guess you’re still susceptible to infection as well, so I’m going to give you a shot of penicillin too. But otherwise, you are all fixed up. I can take those out in a few days for you, pretty much as soon as they start to itch.” I wrote the penicillin order in his chart and dropped it back in the chart rack so the nurse could get the med ready. I returned to his bedside to clean up.

“You didn’t mention you were a doctor when we spoke.”

“Because I wasn’t, Steve.”

“But your name tag says Doctor now, Lex. I might have been asleep for a while, but I know med school takes longer than a few weeks.”

“It’s a long story.” I gestured to the busy ER.

“Meet me for dinner sometime and tell me about it,” he shrugged, and stood up.

“Why, Captain Rogers, are you asking me on a date?” I couldn’t help but smile. He was very hot. And he seemed really nice, so far. And he was Captain Fucking America, which was kind of cool, and seemed to suggest he was probably a pretty decent guy.

“I don’t know. Am I?” He seemed surprised, and looked down at his feet before looking back up at me. “Listen, I’ve been told that I can use my phone to send letters, if I have your phone number. Is that true?” He dug into his pocket for his phone.

“It is. Do you want me to put my number in there for you?”

“Yeah, I’m still figuring it out. I feel pretty stupid sometimes.” He handed it to me. I added my number, and sent myself a text from his phone so I had his as well before handing it back.

“There, now I have your number too. I’m supposed to have tomorrow and Thursday off, but I’ve been up for about 36 hours, so I am not going to be great company tomorrow. Let me know if Thursday works for you.”

“Sure. Thanks Lex. I don’t know a lot of people, and Fury has asked me to keep a low profile,” he blushed. I had to wonder exactly how awkward he’d been before he got the super serum that turned him into a hero. He seemed awfully shy.

“You don’t need to apologize for wanting to be friends, Steve. I’m lonely too.”

“Thursday then,” he said and shook my hand, which was a little weird. I nodded and excused myself. I checked in with the head nurse to make sure he got his antibiotic shot, and went back to the on-call room to keep studying. If I was going to take an evening off to hang out, I needed to redouble my study efforts. The boards were in just a few weeks.

I was jogging through Central Park when my text alert chirped in my ear. I stopped running and pulled my phone out of the running sleeve to check the message and immediately cracked up.

“Dear Alexandra,

I hope you are well and got some sleep last night. The weather has been great the last couple of days, it would be a shame for you to miss out on enjoying it. Further to our conversation on Tuesday at the hospital, I wanted to make sure you were still available for dinner tonight. If you are, I would like to meet you at the hospital at 1800, and from there we can continue out for the evening. I am looking forward to seeing you, and hope you enjoy the plans I’ve made. Please let me know if you received this letter. It seems very strange to be sending you a letter through this tiny phone.

Sincerely,

Captain Steve Rogers”

I was laughing so hard I started to cough and had to sit down on a bench. I quickly typed a response, careful to make sure it would make sense and not seem short with him and continued on with my run. I received another text back from him as I was running up the stairs to my apartment.

“Lex,

Thank you for writing back so quickly. I had no idea the letter would reach you as fast as it did. I’m glad we can still get together. And thank you, I will remind you to show me how to make text messaging easier. I would appreciate it. I’m having a hard time with how much technology has changed.

Steve”

He was so naïve it hurt. And I was really looking forward to our ‘date’.

True to his word, at six p.m., Steve was waiting outside the doors of the ER. Even better, he was holding out a Starbucks cup.

“The clerk said I should try a caramel macchiato, but I like mine black. I hope you do too,” he smiled. I was totally taken in by his offer, and accepted the coffee while giving him a quick appraisal. Yep, lots had changed since the 1940s. He was wearing a button down shirt, open at the collar, and I could see he had a white t-shirt underneath it. It was paired with khaki Dockers that were belted appropriately at his waist, and not hanging down showing the top of his underpants off. He looked old-fashioned and at the same time, so incredibly hot.

“You look great, Steve,” I offered.

“Thanks, you look fantastic. I had no idea your hair was so long. Or so red,” he said. And then blushed.

I’d been careful in picking out what to wear. So far, he’d only actually seen me in scrubs or my archery whites, and he’d been back long enough that I didn’t think the pants on women would be really shocking anymore, but I opted to wear a wrap dress anyhow. And to be honest, it was the only dress I had. I was wearing a heeled boot that brought my height to just above his shoulder, which was nice. I usually wore flats around guys just because anything more than 2 inches and I wound up six feet tall. It’s unnerving to be that tall. Steve was tall enough that I didn’t look like a giant. I linked my arm in his and smiled at him.

“Where to, Cap?”

“I hope this isn’t too forward, but I was hoping we could go to my apartment. I’ve discovered that I really like cooking since I’ve been… back.” He waited for my response.

“I love a man who can cook.” We walked off the same direction I’d come from and when he stopped in front of my building I couldn’t help but laugh.

“You live here?” I asked. He nodded. I held my door key up.

“It must be SHIELD building,” he laughed.

He definitely had the better apartment. I had a bachelor suite, no bedroom, tiny kitchen, miniature bathroom. He had a separate bedroom, and a decent sized kitchen that opened into a living room that was roomy enough to accommodate a big TV. I was jealous. The aroma in the apartment was amazing. He’d obviously figured out enough about the 21st century to realize that I was not going to have a problem having dinner at his place, as he’d already set something in the oven. Whatever it was, it was mouth watering. I sat down on a bar stool across the counter from where he was working and watched him. He immediately set about making a salad, obviously not used to company, as he was humming tunelessly. To say I was smitten would be an understatement. He probably drank a gallon of milk every day and cared for orphans too.

“What’s that you’re humming?” I couldn’t resist asking. He turned bright red.

“Oh, uh. It’s old. You probably wouldn’t know it. Glenn Miller.”

“Love Glenn Miller. I just didn’t recognize the tune.” My grandfather had been in a band in the 40s, and his love of playing had been one of the highlights of my childhood. The thought gave me pause. Steve was probably born around the same time.

“Yeah, the serum didn’t cure me of being tone deaf,” he laughed, “Oh, I’m a terrible host. Can I offer you a drink? I have Coca-Cola or milk. Or water, I guess.” I bit the inside of my cheek. He did drink milk.

“Still working on my coffee, but thanks.” We sat in an amiable silence for a while as he continued to prepare dinner.

“It smells amazing,” I offered when he pulled the pan out of the oven. He dished up and came and sat on the bar stool beside me to eat. But first he said grace. I wasn’t sure who was suffering worse culture shock, him or me. Alone in his apartment we were equally odd to one another. I could understand wanting to spend the evening together here. After dinner, he invited me to stay for a movie. I decided I probably could stay, as I just needed to go down a single flight of stairs to get home. I got comfortable on the couch while he made popcorn and chatted excitedly about how much he was enjoying catching up on the movies he’d messed.

I woke up to my phone ringing, stretched out on the couch under a blanket, with the sun shining brightly into my eyes.

“Yeah?” I answered.

“Dr. Richmond. You are late for rounds.” It was the chief attending at the hospital.