#but tysm for sending this in asdfghgfdsa tHESE WERE SO INTERESTING TO THINK ABT N ANSWER TBH

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im straight up copying nihi rn bc she sent me these but theyre gOOD so! does kael think he's a good person? and r there any emotions he can't handle, or is he good @ keeping his emotions in check?

hc/meta q’s / not a meme, i just wanted to talk abt kael so always accepting

The first question actually has a complicated answer; Kael doesn’t know what he thinks. He’s very much torn between being confident in his moral compass and the way it has developed since he left military life behind but, at the very time, he doesn’t know whether or not he really ought to trust his own perception of morality. Second-guessing himself? Second nature. Kael would certainly like to believe he’s a good person but he isn’t sure he has the right to decide on his own. This conviction that his past does and will always define him, despite the fact part of him knows it’s not true, keeps him from truly seeing himself as a wholly good person; there’s no erasing the fact that, above all else, he’s killed people. Innocent people. People raised and living the same way as him, used by the very same system and groomed from childhood to fight for a cause that was all but thrust upon their shoulders. That one detail really sticks with him. Yes, he did come to learn it was wrong but why did it take him so long? Why didn’t he always know? These are the sorts of questions he asks himself, even in spite of knowing it’s far more complicated than and he cannot help the way he was raised.

Even without all of that (although it’s kind of a hard thing to ignore because, as much as his past doesn’t define him per se, it has dictated who he has become), I think Kael just doesn’t know what to make of himself. He knows he’s not a bad person besides that but he doesn’t necessarily believe he’s a good person. He’s got flaws and a somewhat skewed moral compass. Kael cares a lot about his morals and stands by them, and he’d much rather help people than watch harm come to them but he tends to work according to his own rulebook. He’s more than willing to do things that might seem socially unacceptable if he believes that 1) there’s nothing really wrong with it/nobody’s going to get hurt and 2) it serves in doing good further down the line. 

I’d say that, at his core, Kael is a good person and, ultimately, he cares a lot about people as a whole. His decision to leave the Galbadian military was a largely moral decision and a decision he made because he cares about people. It doesn’t necessarily appear as though he’s this sort of person because nerves and a lack of opportunity to either integrate himself into normal society or cope with his trauma mean that he’s often closed off. That, and a naturally blunt disposition/sharp sense of humour tend to put him in situations where people assume he’s FAR colder than he is. Kael is actually a very warm and compassionate person and he really fucking cares. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that’s how Kael views it.

Leading on from that, the topic of emotions and how to handle them is equally complicated. Kael was raised to keep a tight grip on his emotions and to keep them from clouding his thoughts or, at the very least, from showing on his face. His upbringing was one that prioritised strength over most other traits and emotions were often branded weakness. This was never something Kael was good at. He’s always been a very emotional person and he tends to act on impulse, driven on by his feelings. Because of this, Kael did not learn to control his emotions but, in an attempt to avoid being scolded by his instructors or reprimanded (or even ridiculed) for his character, he instead learned how to mask his feelings. You could argue these two things are the same but what I mean to say is that these feelings didn’t become any less big or overwhelming for Kael, he just learned how to numb himself, even as a child. He’s a very internal person so he tends to let stuff bubble up on the inside without letting it show but that does not mean he ever learned how to control his emotions. Technically, this does mean he looks like someone who keeps his emotions in check but he can only pull it off for so long; if things grow to be too overwhelming, he WILL crack.

There are a few emotions, however, he struggles with hiding. Overall, he’s best at masking sadness and misery. I think people can tell that he’s not a particularly happy person overall but he’s learned to mostly keep to himself in that respect and to avoid letting on when he’s really feeling especially upset or low. If someone knows him well enough, they could probably work out when he’s faking his way through stuff but, to the untrained eye, things are less clear. 

As for what he’s worst at masking, it’s a tie between two. The first is anger. He can keep his anger to himself in less severe cases but when he’s really burning up and something has him really pissed off, especially something to which he holds some sort of moral objection, his anger is often very obvious. Despite what I said before, this is especially true if his anger mixes with sadness in some form (i.e; he’s angry because something has genuinely upset him). Again, Kael is very impulsive and lets his feelings inform most of his decisions, anger being no exception. In fact, he’s every easily blinded by his own anger if he’s upset enough. Kael isn’t an angry person overall, I wouldn’t say, and he certainly isn’t aggressive (and he isn’t violent unless threatened) but his anger is something he does struggle to control. 

The second emotion he has trouble masking is falls at the opposite end of the spectrum; joy. Although I can’t see why he’d have any need for such an ability, Kael isn’t great at covering up when he’s happy. I mean, say he does need to hide it for some reason, he’s usually very easy to read and, unlike the sadness scenario, this is possibly even easier if you’re not extremely close to him because there’s a definite shift in demeanour. To those who know him very well, this shift isn’t too shocking because Kael is naturally a more energetic and active person; he doesn’t really sit still (ever) and he’s a lot brighter than people expect him to be. A genuine very happy Kael tends to reflect this side of his personality a lot more so, if he’s really happy or excited about something, it will absolutely show, written clear across his face. He also tends to fidget a lot more (although this is also true if he’s upset or nervous; overall, he’s just very fidgety) but this mostly ties in with his inability to stay still for too long at a time.