#but truthfully it's been hard to find the latter lately

[dreamiara]

sad again

[naoyoki]

content warning : afab!reader , nsfw , needles and blood (we're tattooing choso) , car sex , cowgirl , nipple play , doggy style . wrote this while watching 'can i solve pll season 2 before the reveal?' on yt lmao ... hope yall like this! pinned

marking ink on choso was always a pleasure from your end. this man has been nothing but nice and respectful towards you. a true and fit gentleman, a cutie even. although this peculiar trait was forged due to his shyness you reckoned, truthfully it didn't matter much really.

but todays appointment was far beyond whatever you had expected it to finish as.

choso desired a face tat, a straight rectangular line running across his nose. it was not only your first time doing such art on someone, it was his first and apparently only face tattoo he would ever get.

this was not only special, but extremely nerve wrecking for you both. it was your first time coming inches close to a clients face, especially one as handsome as choso.

goodness, you were in a daze as you straddled him, he was too large, you could not get as close as you wished to get the perfect angles and to not mess up, even when the stencil guided your every stroke. his thick, rough hands rested on your hips, securing your position over him and keeping you stable.

however, his touch kept your thumping heart far from stable. you could feel it up your throat peeking around, ready to rattle you out. your cunt was no different.

'is he hard or is he just this big while limp?'

and fuck, did you really wanted to find out. particularly wishing it was the latter. with such thought in mind your pussy marveled by the imaginative construct, continuously clenching onto nothing but the fabric of your underwear. as if calling your clients cock.

and it was hard, so unbelievably hard to keep up the façade. the buzzing of the pen and the constant gulping sounds choso made was the only thing that could be heard in the shop as the last ones for the day.

the intense white light of the lamp above gave you the access to see each and every tweak and tear coming from choso's face. but that did not distract you from the carnal needs.

and to your unknown dismay choso was well aware of your predicament. you were sitting on him. how could he not feel your pulsating and aching cunt over him? the pain of the piercing needles kept him at bay; strong and resilient.

he had booked so late in the evening because he wanted to ask you out but, sweet lord did he hit the jackpot with this one. his crush on him, dueling her unresistable desires. all because of him.

"done, you can open your eyes, cho." you finished wiping up the ink and blood that built up on the last needle stroke with a sterilized wipe, "here."

you handed him a paper towel, "i don't want tears in my chair." choso chuckled, moving his left hand to grab on to your waist— causing you to freeze under his touch, the other one catching the paper towel and collecting his tears.

"you gonna wrap it up." he gestured, while holding on to the crunched up paper towel as he sat straight looking you right in the eyes.

you divert your gaze from his, with the unsaid excuse to set a little special tape the wraps around the fresh ink. but he knew better.

with the art work done you lead the man towards the counter at the back of the shop, the cash exchange was swift. just as his confession.

in the middle of his short sentence of confession you had the initiative to lock your lips on his quite gently, "you could take me home and stay over..."

although you did not reach that far, "oh god, choso, fuck!"

you were absolutely right with your predictions a few minutes prior. he was huge, long and thick with veins decorating the whole length. your pussy leaked, your slick and precum sticking on his lap as you bounced on his dick at the backseat of your car.

the car shook with each plunging thrust you provoked. choso's grip on your ass did not falter, assisting you with his crazy force to bury his cock to reach deep inside you. but that was until his focus shifted towards your tits. meddleing around your shirt, choso, with one hand began to play with your right nipple.

"shit cho!" you jolted, weakening by his teasing touch and closing your walls tighter on him, "so f'king good. keep touching me like that."

"is it that good?" he pushed himself into you without warning and with no care, "c'mon baby, scream how good am i."

he wanted to keep you, he wanted to blow your mind, choso desired to keep his mark on you, for as long as you could remember him. and if using you as he pleased, then that will do. your puffed up clit brushed against his pelvis and his mushroom tip relished into kissing your cervix and the soft g spot tissue. you had begun to gulp on your gasps, he was splitting you open as he pleased, and calling out on it made you further aroused.

"you're so good, f-fuck, you-you're so much better than i coul-d ever imagine~!" you clutched onto his shoulder blades while you immersed yourself yourself to match his pistoning, astounding yourself as the rush of your release came so easy and quick.

you did not know if he finished alongside you, choso moaned deliciously while you jerk around his lenght. so you accounted his jizz dripped from your hole onto the leather seats. but choso had other ideas.

the buzz of your delectable orgasm was subduing when you found yourself on all fours and ass up.

"oh, no sweetheart. we're not finished yet." he whispered, wrapping his ringed hand gently around your throat as he teased your folds with his still hard-on.

[ihrtsevyn]

— PRETTY BOY . . . 𖤐 | j.g x reader

moved to: @kiemiu

genre fic, fluff, slight angst, hurt to comfort, oneshot.

warnings no smut, no use of specific race/age/gender. no pronouns used. no use of y/n. lowercase intended. loosely proofread. reader and johnnie are both emotional in this lmao.

summary after countless weeks of being cramped into your studio, you finally reveal the reason of your absence to a worried johnnie with one of your songs from your new album.

requested by anon you can find the link here !!

wc 1.6k

masterlist | main page <3

[ 03:46AM ]

your eyes continued to drift back and forth from your computer to the digital clock. you couldn't keep doing this. johnnie had already chewed you out earlier in the week for working so late.

you needed to get your sophomore album out before the deadline came and unfortunately the date of your release was set much earlier than you expected, meaning you had to cram yourself into your studio practically all day and night until you were finished.

it's hard to admit but your time spent in the studio had taken a toll on the relationship. johnnie didn't like it at all. he knew you weren't properly taking care of yourself in there, any time he'd peek his head in to check on you his worried state only increased.

your eyes were red from crying in frustration and staring at a computer screen all day long, your movements slow as a sloth because of the immense exhaustion, as well as boxes and bags of food discarded to the side, some untouched and left to rot while others remained half-eaten.

when you and johnnie got together you had vowed to each other that you'd be reliable to one another and help each other out in all situations. you wouldn't bottle things inside and you'd speak about your problems to each other. that was a promise. a promise you had seemed to forget as you ignored his countless advances to take care of you for your work.

johnnie quietly shuffled into your studio, trash bag in hand as he started to grab handfuls of wrappers and water bottles. you wouldn't have even realized he walked into your studio if the doorway wasn't left open.

you wanted to say something to him. a simple 'i love you' or even a 'thank you' but you couldn't build the strength to turn your head away from your screen even when he rested his hand upon your shoulder and gave you a soft kiss on the top of your head. and before you knew it, he was gone just as quick as he had arrived.

[ 5:33AM ]

you sighed in relief before plopping your head onto your desk. a watery almost pathetic laugh escaped your lips before you brought your hands to your face to muffle your sobs. you were finally done. so much work and effort had been put into your first independent album and the solace of being finished was the final nail in the coffin for you to burst into tears.

your eyes drifted drifted over to the digital clock on your desk again. you double-checked that you had your files saved and prepared to be sent out the following week before closing your laptop shut and stretching your limbs.

johnnie was either still awake or had fallen asleep by now, you were hoping for the latter as you made your way out of the studio and into your shared bedroom.

quietly you opened the bedroom door, peeking your head in only to see johnnie fast asleep on your side of the bed. you carefully shuffled into the bedroom with a small downturned smile on your face until you were standing over johnnie.

you crouched down in front of him to get a closer look at his face. he had been crying. his cheeks were rosy and puffy and around his eyes looked red and irritated as if he had been harshly scrubbing at them.

you resorted to giving him a quick and soft peck on the top of his head before evacuating to the bathroom. you felt so bad for neglecting johnnie the past few weeks. you truthfully hadn't meant to. work had overpowered your schedule and demanded all of your focus which meant there was no time for anyone and anything else.

you took to the shower to clear your thoughts. letting the warm water cascade down your body and relax your muscles. finally getting the chance to wash off all filth and grime from your body.

everything around you felt lighter and less depressing. you finally had the time to properly take care of yourself and not rush the routine because you had a pile of work to get to.

when you finally exited the bathroom you were surprised to be met with a dazed johnnie, fully sat up in bed and unconsciously picking at his cuticles. you could tell he was still tired but was forcing himself to be up, was he waiting for you?

"hey, sleepyhead." you murmured softly before making your way towards your shared bed.

"hey, taking a break?" he asked softly, his eyes wide and hopeful.

a knowing grin grew on your face.

"i'm all done. i just finished my final track an hour or so ago."

it took a full 10 seconds for it to fully registered in johnnie's head, his face contorting in confusion before settling on a blissful smile and wrapping his arms around your body.

his arms hugged around you tight before he tugged you on top of him. "you're not leaving my side for a month." he whispered in your ear, a serious tone in his voice but you knew he was joking.

you laughed lightly before settling comfortably on top of him. "i don't plan on leaving anytime soon."

a comfortable silence relaxed over the two of you as johnnie's hands smoothed over your waist, gently dragging his hands up and down.

you felt your eyelids get heavy before you suddenly jolted awake, rising above johnnie with wide eyes.

"are you okay? what's wrong?"

johnnie had a sense of urgency in his voice as he had slightly risen up himself, his now wide eyes trailing over your body to see if you had hurt yourself or if he had hurt you.

"before i get too comfortable i need to show you something." you quickly muttered. before johnnie could even respond you hopped out of the bed and grabbed one of his arms, dragging him right behind you and into your studio.

you were very private about your music, usually not letting anyone else listen to it besides another producer or composer, so johnnie was surprised when you plugged in a pair of headphones to your computer and handed them to him.

he slightly hesitated before taking them with wide eyes. "really? .. are you sure?"

you only nodded in return, eyes not straying away from your screen as you set up the audio for him to listen to.

he waited patiently next to you with the headphones secured on his head. he looked around your studio silently while fiddling with the wire.

"this was the last song i was working on...i made it for you so, it'd only make sense for you to hear it first, right?"

you voice was quiet and timid. you were nervous even though you shouldn't be. you've jokingly experienced with different instruments and vocals in your studio with johnnie right by your side joining in on the fun.

"you made a song about me?"

you nodded slowly, unsure eyes failing to keep in contact with his.

"it's basically a thank you to you as well as an apology."

"an apology? for what?"

"for not being an attentive significant other and just..being cooped up in my studio all day. that's not fair to you and..i'm sorry. really, i am."

he grabbed your hand softly before bringing it up to his lips. "don't be sorry, baby. work gets overwhelming sometimes. i know, just please...let me take care of you."

you nodded your head bashfully before whispering a quiet 'okay.'

"i can tell you're nervous, don't be. i already know im gonna love it." he murmured before pecking your fingers individually.

because you didn't want johnnie to stop being so affectionate with you, you resorted to using your other free hand and clicking play.

your eyes would nervously trail over to johnnie to gage his reaction at certain lyrics.

you could feel your palms getting sweatier as you waited for the song to end. writing love songs for people wasn't easy, but it was even harder to sit and watch johnnie listen to it with an unreadable expression.

you watched as his jaw clenched before he looked down at his lap, your hand still resting on his lap while he toys with your fingers.

you didn't know if he was loving the song or absolutely hating it which caused you to tense up.

you could hear the song slowing to an end in his headphones.

you watched as he slowly took the headphones off, his voice soft and slightly watery as he continued to avoid eye-contact with you.

"you think i'm pretty?" he asked, a small smile growing on his face.

"of course i do, johnnie. you're the prettiest boy i know."

he quickly wiped the stray tears that had fallen from his waterline before letting go of your hand to pull your chair closer to him, not that there was much space in between you two to begin with anyway.

without warning he wrapped his arms around you tightly, pulling your body into his once more.

"i love you so much, you don't even understand."

his sentence was muffled as he rested his head on top of yours but you were still able to fully understand his affectionate words.

"i love you more, my pretty boy." you whispered, rising your head from his chest to be able to look into his eyes that had already been trained on you.

he brought his hand from your waist to the side of your face. gently caressing the soft skin of your cheek with his thumb.

adorning eyes watched over you before he brought his lips to yours making your eyes flutter closed before leaning your full body into his, creating no room in between your bodies. you had forgotten how much you missed this feeling, the feeling of unabashed love and soft kisses.

johnnie was your safe place, your pretty boy, and you couldn't have been happier to be in his arms than in that moment.

a/n: i'm kinda shit at writing fics which is why i choose to write headcanons lol, hope you guys enjoyed it tho and ty for reading :D <33

[sweetadonisbutbetter]

Ur so pretty

A/n: HAI OMG- its been...a while...if anyone read it, I posted the WIP of this like all the way back in November last year. other notes are that there is no use of Y/N, and it is kept gender neutral, but it is implied to be WLW. but since it is no longer in my hands, take it as you will keke hope u enjoy!!!

Upon waking up, you already felt that it was going to be a long day, one that was longer than usual. The sores from numerous fights and hours of walking were ever present from the moment you opened your eyes; the feeling of the Astarion’s fangs wringing your neck numb. You mentally check off the numerous problems before you get out of your tent and set off for the day. Upon leaving the dimly lit tent, you were blinded slightly by the morning light. The smell of breakfast filled the air as idle chatter continued. You take a moment to look at your companions. Gale was the one cooking, making idle chatter with Wyll and Karlach, the latter who was most likely the one who started the fire. Lae’zel was by herself, sharpening one of her many swords. Astarion emerges from his tent, also having just woken up. You continue to scan the camp looking for someone in particular.

‘No sign of her…’ You think to yourself, pouting slightly. From the corner of your eyes, you see Astarion approaching you. Sighing, you reiterate the fact that although the day had just started, you could tell it was going to be a long day. 

“Glad to see you didn’t die last night.” He greets you with a smirk. You look at him, already feeling the regret of letting him feed and an oncoming headache. You pinch the bridge of your nose, hoping it will relieve some tension. 

“Well if someone didn’t take any more than he should have, I wouldn’t have passed out.” You quip, to which Astarion lets out a laugh. 

“I did not take any more than I normally do. You just lost a lot of blood yesterday.” He says as he crosses his arms and shifts to the side. You look at him blankly for a moment, thinking if it would be worth it to put a stake in his heart. Listing the pros and cons, it seems that keeping him alive has more pros, shockingly. Sighing once more, which was something that happened a lot when Astarion was around, you cast lesser restoration on yourself and begin to walk towards Gale, Karlach, and Wyll. However, before you can even approach the trio, you see Shadowheart emerge from her tent.

Your heart skips a beat as you look at her from afar. From the moment you had seen her while on the nautiloid, you had some sort of feelings stirring for her. Just a glance at her tells you how much of a beauty she is. The way her onyx hair framed her face, her braid that swished and would often rest on her shoulders, and the soft makeup that furthered her beauty in a way that felt almost godlike. Not to mention her eyes. The soft hazel green stood out with her darker eyeshadow, luring in the very person who looked into them. In your mind, she could rival the beauty of the gods and goddesses. However, it wasn’t just her physical beauty that lured you in, it was the subtle beauty that seemingly showed when she wasn’t paying attention.  The soft smile that creeps up her face when you were swarmed by children at the grove, or how she plays with Scratch when she thinks no one is paying attention. You would often find yourself looking forward to fights, just to get injured so she could heal you, watching how her hands would tenderly cover the wound. In essence, her mannerisms, voice, and beauty have bewitched you, terribly. Often you were left lying awake late at night, thinking back on any conversation or memories you have of her. 

Since the tiefling party a few nights ago, you have had numerous things to think of. Truthfully, you were elated that you had agreed to a drink with her, since in your mind it showed that she had a fraction of attraction towards you. While it was hard to tell how she truly felt since she was sharran and they were sworn to secrecy; you did not need words to know that she enjoyed the moment you two shared. The kiss you two shared, the talking and looking into one another's eyes until either the sun came up or sleep overtook you both. The morning after you two had talked about it, she agreed that there was something between the two of you. However, soon after she began to withdraw herself from you, she would avoid being alone with you, cut the conversation short, and even volunteer to stay behind at camp. It hurt to see her detach herself from any social interaction with you. You even knew that she was avoiding only you, catching glimpses of her talking to the others, chattering with Lae’zel even though they both differed. Rather than getting upset and confronting her, you kept it to yourself. Finding that it was better to give her space, something that she appreciated in the past, though it was turning out to be harder than you wanted it to be. 

“You know, it is rude to stare.” A voice cuts you out of your train of thought. Blinking, you look at the voice and see that it is Astarion. Confused as to what he is talking about, you give him a look. He rolls his eyes and smacks his teeth. “You have been staring at Shadowheart’s tent for a good while, my friend. A bit too long, might I add.”

Quietly, you let out an ‘oh’ before you turn towards your tent. You decide to start getting ready for the day, no longer hungry. Stripping your camp wear and donning your armor, you mentally summon all your courage so you can ask Shadowheart to accompany you, Gale, and Karlach. Finishing the knot of your boots, you equip your weapons and leave your tent, the blinding rays of the sun stinging your eyes for a brief moment.

‘Moonmadein please guide me.’ You utter in your thoughts before you make your way to Gale and Karlach. Even though you were nowhere near them, Karalach seemed to notice you were heading their way. Turning her head from her conversation with Gale, she makes eye contact with you. Her face seemingly lights up as small flames rise out of her skin.

“Mornin’ soldier!” She hollers. Gale says something to her in a quiet tone, one that you can’t hear. Whatever he told her caused the flames on her to diminish. Looking back at you, she gives a slightly nervous chuckle and says, “Sorry about that. Just excited to get on the road again.” 

“No worries, and good morning to you Karlach. You too Gale.” You reassure Karlach quickly before you greet the wizard. Gale smiles in return and greets a quick ‘morning’ before leaving, presumably to get his stuff for the road. You look back to Karlach and ask, “Have you seen Shadowheart?”

“Oh, I think I saw she went with Scratch into the woods,” Karlach says, her mood seemingly more down. She hesitates for a moment, before asking “Why?”

“I just want to see if she wants to join us on the road. It has been a bit since she left camp.” You explain, hoping you weren't evident in your real reason for talking to her. While it wasn’t a complete lie, it wasn't the whole truth. The half-truth was that you did want her to accompany you and walk around for a while; you did want to know if she wanted to leave camp for a while. You also just wanted a moment alone with her; for when there was a moment where everyone was walking, no direction in mind. It seemed that Karlach bought what you said, as she began to perk up a bit after your answer. However before anything else could be said, the bushes rustled slightly. You and Karlach turn to the noise, however, you don’t need to go and investigate since Scratch jumps from the bushes and runs toward you. He jumps onto your chest, tackling you to the ground before he starts to lick at your face. Laughing at the slightly ticklish feeling, you try to move him off of you, not too keen on smelling like dog breath or even having slobber on you so early in the day. Thankfully he gets off with ease and goes to bother someone else. Still chuckling, you get up from the ground, with the help of Karlach who is laughing with you. The rustling of leaves happens once more, catching your attention once more. This time it was Shadowheart who emerged from the woods. You briefly make eye contact with her, your heart skips a beat, and you move towards her. Though it seemed she noticed you moving, since she looked away first and headed back to her tent, not even uttering a greeting or looking back. Your shoulders sag, clearly dejected at her avoidance. ‘I can’t be like this all day. We have to move forward.’ You think to yourself, quickly shaking the feeling and standing up straighter, putting on the front that you were not bothered by it. 

“It seems like she has no intent on leaving today. I suppose we could drag Astarion with us.” You jest lightly to Karlach. Wanting to leave sooner, you readjust your pack and look for Astarion. Thankfully, he seemed to have read your mind and was already in his gear. You look for Gale briefly and see that he is equally as ready. With a nod, the four of you leave camp and begin the day.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“Ugh, I feel I can sleep for days,” Karlach groans as she stretches her back. Letting out another exhausted sigh, she falls back. You nod in agreement, the weariness in your bones causing them to ache slightly more than they already were. While trying to stretch your back, you find it more difficult than normal, as you are in your armor. It was a long day, numerous battles and hours of walking. If there were only a handful of fights, you could handle that, however, it felt like it was battle after battle. The mere thought of the battles caused the bruises on your body to feel more prominent. Plopping down on a nearby tree trunk, you let your body relax as much as it can while sitting up. You look to Gale was already cooking, somehow already in his evening wear. The smell of the food made its way into your stomach, causing it to rumble. Looking around, you notice you can’t find Astarion. Assuming that he is relaxing in his tent, you sigh and lean back, still trying to find relief. 

However, you begin to become restless. Somehow through the aches and pain, you feel the need for fresh air, which is odd for being outside. Not being able to sit and just wait, you get up and begin to head to your tent. Before you head inside, you turn to Karlach and Gale. 

“You two can stay at camp tomorrow. Take the day to rest. I could bring Wyll and Lae’zel instead.” I say to Karlach and Gale. Gale doesn’t comment, rather focused on the meal he was making than what I was saying. I hear a faint groan, which you assume is Astarion. You begin to feel slightly bad, that he can’t get a day of rest, however with the avoidance from Shadowheart, there is bound to be one person who has to travel a little more. 

‘Hopefully, she will get over whatever hindrance she is dealing with…hope I didn’t do anything wrong.’ You think before shaking the thought. ‘I shouldn’t think about it too much.’

You rid your thoughts altogether, of what happened, what is, and what was to come; choosing not to think on it too much, you begin to take off your armor. It took you longer than normal, the aches in your body causing you to slow down. Eventually, you were in your evening wear; sitting on the floor, staring at your feet blankly. You didn’t notice how much the day had affected you, to the point you just wanted to seek the warmth of another person and just fall into the deepest sleep you could. However, the person’s warmth you wanted seemingly wanted nothing to do with you. You let out another deep sigh, kick off your boots, and turn to your bed, not wanting to eat. 

It seemed that no one noticed that you decided to turn in early for the night, or if they did no one came into your tent. You felt a tad grateful that no one came, feeling that no one's company would be enough. You lie in your tent, trying to sleep. However, no matter how much you slowed your breathing and kept your eyes closed, your body could not find itself to relax. With a sigh, you decide to give up on sleeping and leave your tent. Hastily throwing on your boots and mentally wishing it was late enough, you emerge from your tent and see that the camp is empty. The fire from supper was completely burnt out, and the large pile of dishes piled up near the lake camp was showing that everyone had indeed turned in for the night. Turning your head once again, you see Scratch and the owlbear cub huddled next to one another, sleeping soundly. You smile softly, your heart melting that they are bonding so well with one another. Trying to be as quiet as possible, you leave the camp and head into the nearby forest. 

In a moment in time when there were so many new feelings and unfamiliar things around you; from being abducted by illithids, seeing the hells, waking up in what seemed to be the middle of nowhere, and having an uninvited guest in your brain, the forest provided comfort. No matter where in Faerûn, trees will always be trees, the dirt path made by countless feet that trekked forward in their journeys, made you feel less alone and confused. Walking over bushes, you decide to mindlessly wander, not worrying about the pain in your feet or where you end up. There weren’t many sounds in the dead of night, other than the wind that shook the leaves and bushes, the distinct animal noises of nocturnal animals, and your footsteps. You don’t pay much attention to it, however, rather you choose to blank entirely. The traveling and battles from earlier in the day left you mentally exhausted, as well as physically but that was neither here nor there since you were always physically tired or sore, your mind was left both restless yet still. An internal paradox that you found yourself in recently. Much of how your relationship with Shadowheart was a paradox in itself. While it was difficult to say that you were in love with the mysterious woman, especially since it had not been too long since you two had met, it wasn’t hard to conclude that a part of you consistently yearned for her. Desired to hear the sound of her voice, to feel her gaze upon you, to comb her hair as it rested upon her shoulders, to have her touch you in ways that no other before has. A part of you dreamed that she could one day let you into her mind, into the deepest darkest parts of her mind, where you would find solace there as just she wormed her way into your mind. A constant plague that you could not rid of, not that you wanted to.

However, that was the lingering problem that shifted the foundation of what could be. The beliefs that you both hold make you enemies by default. The very belief that a sharran and a selunite even being friendly was unheard of. Nevertheless, you befriended one, hell you even kissed one, something that younger you would stress about, wondering if you were turning to the Lady of Loss. Not that you would, you find that the beliefs of your dear moon maiden held were truly a resonate of your own, and you weren’t saying that since you grew up with it. From your very limited understanding of the Lady of Loss, you found the very idea of wallowing in the dark with no hope seemed very unhealthy. From what Shadowheart told you, which was also as limited since her memory was removed, it seemed that Shar was lying to her followers, saying that she was easing their pain when in reality she was just adding to it. 

‘How could she worship a goddess that causes her to be left in the dark and pain,’ You wonder, looking at the ground as you walk and begin to pursue your lips. Eventually, you begin to slow down, coming to a full stop at the texture change from under your shoes. You look up and see a lake, one that is possibly connected to camp, as the moon dances on the water, light ripples distorting the image. Breathing in the sight, you consider undressing and wandering into the water, before shaking the thought. While it was tempting, you find that it would be a hassle putting your clothes back on. Instead, you kick off your sandals and roll up the legs of your pants, and wander to the water before seating yourself down, just far enough to where your butt won’t get too wet. There you sat for a while, taking in the sight, smell, and sounds of the area around you. You feel your mind slow down, your eyes getting heavy at the comfort of the water as it rocked and kissed higher on your calf. Just as you were about to leave yourself completely vulnerable to the wilderness and let your mind wander into the night sky, a voice rang through your ears.

“Well, I certainly did not expect you to be so far from camp.” 

Your eyes shot up, startling you awake. You don’t know who you were expecting when you turn your head, however, the last person that comes to mind is Shadowheart. Her hair was down from its chain and braid as it rested over her shoulder and draped to her mid-back. With that being the only outlier, Shadowheart looked the same as how she did the night before. Even though you wanted to say something, your mind was too slow to react, so you just looked at her. Embarrassed that you could not utter a sound, you turn your attention back to the lake.  She chuckles, a noise that reaches your ears and tickles them ever so slightly, and you feel your ears and face get warm. Focusing solely on the lake and the reflection of the moon, you could only listen as she shuffled behind you. Far too nervous to catch her gaze, but still nipping with curiosity at what she is doing, you look at her from the corner of your eyes. 

Not paying you any mind, she sat next to you, albeit a bit away from the water, which you assume was because she was not in favor of getting wet. Nervous that she will catch your gaze, you look away once more as the wind starts to softly blow. The both of you sit there in silence, unaware of what Shadowheart is thinking and you are far too nervous to break the silence, lest you say the wrong thing. 

‘Truthfully, what is the wrong thing to say?’ You mentally quip to yourself, ‘Rather…what is the right thing to say…Should I break the silence? Does Shadowheart have something to say? Why is she also out here? Did she foll-’

“Was..there any particular reason you left camp?” Shadowheart asks, her voice stopping your thoughts. You look at her, a stunned look on your face. You were astonished at the fact that she was actively engaging in conversation rather than avoiding it. She is facing forward but looking at you from the corner of her eyes. Feeling your face get warm at her stare, you turn your head once again. 

“I just..wanted some fresh air…” You murmur, bringing your knees closer to your chest and hugging them. You didn’t think to elaborate further, finding your reasoning sound enough. If you were completely honest with yourself, you were being slightly petty due to her avoidance. Shadowheart, who seemingly accepted the reasoning, sighed to herself, in a way that could be depicted as relief. Although you found it odd, you didn’t bring attention to it, rather resting your head on your knees. You both sat in silence, the sounds of the surrounding area being the only thing that stopped the moment from being dead quiet. Once again, content with the peace, you feel your eyes drooping once more.

“You didn’t come out here to meet anyone?” Shadowheart asks, breaking the silence and waking you up once more. Confused by her question and unsure if you even heard her correctly, you turn your body and look at her. She was actually looking at you, her head turned in your direction. Although it might have been your mind playing tricks on you or wishful thinking, it seemed that her eyes were a green of jealousy. Nonetheless, she blinks and it seems that she hid whatever emotion she was harboring.

“What? Why would I come out here to meet someone?” You ask her, as she shrugs and turns her head away from you, looking at the lake again. Thinking you weren’t getting an answer in response, your mind begins to wonder with various questions. Trying to make sense of your thoughts, you let one slip past the barriers of your lips. 

“Why have you been avoiding me?” You ask, your voice much softer than you wanted it to be. Sounding much more hurt than you wanted to reveal, your mind and voice wanting to show her how her avoidance pained you. Though you hate to admit it, you are sure your face is showing that pain just as much as your voice did. She doesn’t move, mimicking that of a statute; Neither do you, not to turn to look at her, in fear of her seeing your face and you never getting an answer. You both sit there for a moment, your question leaving you feeling like you just shouted into the void and expecting an answer back. 

After a moment, she lets out a breath, seemingly holding it in. As if she was not expecting that question and didn’t want to answer it. 

“I do not think we can be together.”

Upon hearing her words, you feel as if your very soul was de-rooted so violently, that it took the very foundation of who you were down. The void answered, with a truth that you avoided and did not want. The truth that haunted you after you kissed her under the moonlight and the stars away from the party. Plagued your mind when you would think of who you were and who she was. It seemed to have shattered every thought, every wish, and every dream you had of holding her and that she hold you in return. With all of the shattering going on in your mind, you cannot utter anything else other than a simple, “Oh.”

“It’s just…” Shadowheart trails off, trying to find her words. She seems to struggle for a bit, so you decide to make it easier for her and leave. 

With the hurt of your body and heart and the threat of tears in your eyes, you stand up. Not wanting your not-lover to see you cry, you quickly wipe the tears that were threatening to fall out and sniffle. Washing off your feet of any sand, you place your sandals on and head back to camp, not caring that you are leaving her behind. Not noticing Shadowheart pulled her knees to her chest, as she rested her head into her arms. Unknowing of the inner turmoil that was going on between her mind and her heart; the war between her sprouting care and affection for you and the dedication she has to her faith.

The way back was agonizing, your heart heavy with hurt and your mind yelling for sleep while also overthinking every bit of interaction with Shadowheart. The more you walked, the feeling of more tears threatened to fall and let you shed every ounce of heartache and misery. Picking up the pace, you cannot help but think about your reaction.

Surely you could have handled this way better in theory, but in practice? Was Shadowheart so deeply rooted into your mind, that the mere rejection shattered you whole? Did you crave her affection so badly that even the cold sharp end of a knife stab would have felt better than this? No matter how frigid and distant she was, how did you not lose an ounce of interest in her? Would you betray your goddess, just to be within Shadowheart’s gaze? 

It seemed that as you asked more questions to yourself, the lack of answers seemed to spiral into more questions. However, you knew that you would never be able to answer the questions that spiraled in your mind. Eventually, you stumbled upon the camp, seeing Astarion was the only one up and about. His eyes turned to you, gaze softening at the sight of you rather than a rabid animal or an enemy trying to attack in the night. Upon seeing your expression, one of anguish and with tears already falling, his face morphs into concern for a moment before blanking.

“Did something happen, o’ fearless leader?” He asked, using the nickname he used to tease you once you were bestowed the mantle of leader. Maybe calling you your nickname was his way of comforting you. Not that you stood around long enough to find out. Rather than answering him, you decide to go straight into your tent. He makes a noise, one that sounds like he wants you to stop, but he doesn’t move from his spot. 

Once inside your tent, you head to your sleeping bag and tuck yourself under it. Not wanting to wake everyone, but also needing to let out your emotions, you opt to cry silently into your hands. Trying whatever way to muffle your sobs as they wracked through your body. Curled up into yourself, you eventually fall into a dreamless sleep.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Upon waking up, you immediately notice the sunlight is more prominent through your tent's fabric. Finding this odd, you immediately sit up and try to leave your tent as fast as you can. Crawling to the tent flap, you squint your eyes at the bright light of the day, noticing that it is far past the normal time you awoke. You look up to confirm your suspicions and see that the sun is most definitely showing it was later in the day, almost to the midpoint of the sky. As you crawled out of the tent, emerging from the cocoon of emotions you barracked yourself in last night, you saw Wyll making his way to you. It took you a bit to stand up fully, while your body was mostly recovering from the longer-than-average rest, it was still sore from the battles and wandering you and your party had been doing these past weeks. The horned man was already in front of you by the time you stood tall, patiently waiting.

“Good morning,” He smiles softly at you. You nod back, your mood still somewhat in shambles due to your previous night's adventure. Rather, you had more pressing matters to attend to, such as-

“Why did no one wake me up?”

Wyll doesn’t say anything but stares at you with the same look.

“Astarion told us what happened last night,” He starts. Afraid of where this was going, you feel your heart and stomach plummet through the ground, possibly landing in the Underdark somewhere. Wyll seems to take notice of the mild panic on your face and corrects himself. “Rather, he told us you came back to camp a wreck. He told us he was unsure what could have distressed you so. Karalach and Gale were the ones to suggest that we leave you to rest.”

With his explanation, you start to relax a little bit. Of course, Asartion would tell everyone. Though you know you couldn’t be too angry at him, rather fond of the fact that he was worried. It warmed you a bit that even though the vampire elf kept his emotions to himself for the most part, he ditched that belief for just a moment and expressed worry. You make a mental note to thank him and work towards a better friendship with him. Pushing that thought to the back of your mind along with any residue of yesterday evening, you smile softly at Wyll.

“I appreciate that, thank you.” Your voice sounds way more stable than you thought it would be. “Though, in the future, I would appreciate being woken up, even if there is concern for me. After all, we don’t know how much time we have before the whole tadpole thing turns us into illithids.”

Wyll doesn’t say much, just hums and nods, before being called by Lae’zel. He whips his head before turning back to you with a shy smile, one that you return with your smile and shoo him away. He scampers to Lae’zel, leaving you alone still standing in front of your tent. You sigh and relax your body a bit before you head to go to the stash of food the camp keeps. After not eating much throughout the previous day, it was starting to catch up with you with your stomach growling. At the stash, you begin to look for something quick to fuel you before you attempt to cook anything. Finding nothing that piqued your interest, you decided to head into the forest to see if there was anything edible. As you were heading to leave the camp alone, you passed Karalach, whose back was to you. You step towards her and begin to call out to her, however before you can utter a sound you step on a branch, alerting her to your presence. Turning to the source, Karlach seems to move away from what-who she was interacting with. Just beyond Karalach was Shadowheart, with a look you cannot describe. You spend a while looking at her, so many mixed feelings rushing to you faster than anything you can describe. Before you got swept away in the tidal waves of emotions, Karlach’s voice snapped you out of the trance you were in. 

“Hey, soldier! How are you holdin’ up?” While her face had a big smile on it, it also had a look of concern. Turning your attention to the buff tiefling, you put on a strained smile before answering her.

“Better now that I’ve had more than 4 hours of sleep.” 

“Really?” Her shock was evident, as she shifted slightly so the front of her body was facing you. She makes a glance to Shadowheart, something you feel you cannot stomach to do at the moment. You nod and respond.

“Yeah…I was just about to head off.” 

“All alone?” Shadowheart says for the first time. Her voice rings in your ears as you feel your knees go weak for a moment. You cannot help but want to ignore her, to give her a taste of how she has made you feel; however, you decide against it, being in front of someone else.

 ‘That doesn’t mean I have to look at her.’ You reason to yourself before looking to the forest, trying not to make it obvious that you were avidly avoiding looking at her. “I wasn’t going to go far. Just wanted something light.”

Nothing is said for a moment before Shadowheart speaks again. 

“I’ll go wi-”

“There is no need. I can go alone.” You cut her off, your voice coming off more harshly than you expected it to. However you couldn’t find it in yourself at that moment to apologize, rather you say your quick goodbyes and leave. In your absence was a puzzled Karlach at the thick tension between yourself and Shadowheart. She doesn’t say much, still feeling the tension, quickly making up an excuse before leaving. In her wake was a Shadowheart who was staring off in the direction you took off in. Left in the shadow that she herself had cast upon you. 

However this time, the reason for it was known, and she had no one to blame but herself.

[aqricus]

I wanna squirt all over karma akabanes lap by accident from him just touching my clit for a lil bc im so easily overstimulated and a squirter and then he just goes feral and manhandles me so i cant squirm away mhh💗💗

so true, anon :( you never know what his intentions are when he pulls you into his lap--or ever, really, because he can smile in your face and behave so casually while his mind is operating a mile a minute trying to settle on a window of opportunity to mess with you somehow. when he coaxes you into sitting on his lap, he could simply be wanting to have you close and enjoy your presence, or he could be setting you up for a brutal round of edging. during the latter occasions, he's horrible.

while he had his suspicions, he didn't realize how sensitive you truly are until it was too late. having managed to snag you while you were passing by the couch in the living room, he'd be arbitrary about the way he handles you once he corrals you onto his lap--careless as he delivers light swats to your clit and works two of his fingers inside you to slowly stroke and caress your g-spot. his voice sounds so disinterested when he talks to you--not that you're focused enough to be able to understand him--but you can feel the intensity of his stare scorching the sensitive area between your legs.

he bounces from method to method, pulling his fingers free to toy with your clit for a minute before delving back into your cunt without warning, shoving you closer and closer to the crest of your orgasm yet never quite doing enough to shove you over. you can feel his lips tug into a wicked grin when he feels the way your clit throbs under his ministrations, and his smile only widens at the feeling of you shivering against him when he asks you if you're already about to cum.

truthfully, it had only been a taunt, a teasing jab at how responsive you are, each movement and touch eliciting either a twitch from your muscles or a whine from your throat. he didn't expect you to actually be far closer to the cusp of your orgasm than he'd anticipated. so, when he decides to return his attention to you after neglecting your pleasure and depriving you of his touch all together for a few minutes, he's rightfully--and pleasantly--surprised when he gently rolls the pad of his finger over the bundle of nerves, and you cum hard. it's unexpected, the way the lightest touch has your release manifesting in an abrupt gush of liquid and the muscles in your thighs twitching sporadically. he tenses beneath you at the feeling of your release dampening the material of his pants, eyes widening a slight fraction. consequently, his fingertips accidentally press a bit harder against your clit, milking the last droplets of your orgasm from you while you choke on the pitched gasp that's kicked from your throat.

he's still for a moment, gaze sweeping over your disheveled appearance, muscles rigid, merely analyzing you. his gaze flickers attentively to your face when your hand twists the material of his shirt into your fist; but, it's the breathy whimper of his name that drips from your lips that solidifies his next course of action. you barely have time to breathe, let alone react, before he your balance is skewed and your back lands on the couch beside him.

"karma--" puzzled, you attempt to reach for him, but he's faster, swiftly gathering your wrists into one of his hands and locking them firmly against the cushioned arm of the couch. you can smell the faint fragrance of his cologne clinging to his shirt as he leans over you, the only source of light in the muted yet remarkably warm pools of gold being twin twinkles of mischief that cause goosebumps to arise across the expanse of your body. heat coalesces in the pit of your stomach at the tiny, knowing, upward quirk of his lips, and you find yourself clenching around empty air. the way he surveys you is almost wolfish as he lets his gaze linger on your covered chest before trickling down to where the hem of your tank top has lifted to expose a sliver of your waist. you feel bare, exposed, almost embarrassed by the way he has you cornered; and, your knees subconsciously draw closer together, only to bump into karma's waist.

you can't even close your legs, you realize. he's managed to situate himself between your thighs to prevent you from escaping or squirming away from him, and karma chuckles at the flash of clarity in your eyes. "you're sensitive." he proceeds as if it's something as simple as mentioning the weather. you inhale sharply when his hand snakes down your abdomen, fingertips ghosting over your clit. "how cute." he's mean, poking fun at you with that nearly patronizing lilt in his voice. "quite honestly, i never pegged you for someone who feels so . . . intensely, but you know, the more i think about it, the more fitting it seems." he rubs a single circle over your clit, only to laugh when your knees press harder into his waist and you start to struggle fruitlessly, feebly against his iron hold.

you can't even find it in yourself turn your head away to escape the piercing weight of his gaze, even as your ears burn. but, you do squeeze your eyes shut when he suddenly sinks his middle finger into your cunt, gritting your teeth against the moan that claws at your throat. "i don't think so." your eyes snap back open at the feeling of his breath fanning over your cheekbone, and you gasp at the sight of his face mere inches from yours. his eyes lance directly through you, spearing right to the core of your brain as he siphons every thought and decodes every shift in your expression. he tilts his head slightly, strands of hair tumbling across his forehead to fall into his eyes. "unfortunately, i didn't get to see your face before. but, this time . . ." he quirks his finger up with practiced ease, and you fail to muffle your next moan. his smile bears a tinge of warmth, the predatory acuity glimmering in his eyes now matched with a flicker of excitement.

"i'm going to see it all."

[conkniving]

banner resource. banner edited by @thvnderr

tw: drug abuse, murder/death mention, child neglect

i. the lovers' mask

a tale called the moon's anguish that has circulated anchorage for the past several decades has prompted some young lovers to exchange masks as a promise of devotion. what design would your muse theoretically think fits them?

fallon encompasses the phrase "blind in love" partially because she never knows until it's too late that she had been in love, and partially because she can't see any way out of it. for the better or worse. a perfect depiction of that would be a venetian mask without eyelets. stark white, littered with scratch writing over the entire face of it, containing pop culture quotes and quotes from the person in question — all to guide fallon in her sightlessness.

some might consider them leading a double life if they knew about...

stating something about the bastards is too easy an answer. it's nearly a given, though no one would dare publicly question fallon about her affiliation if they didn't fear immediate retaliation as they should. rather, a double life could be said about the covert addict life. it's easy to hide behind the booze and the pot as just facets of her lifestyle, a cigarette always to adorn the lips. but behind the backs of those she loves the most, tucked in dark corners and walking lonely streets, there's the surreptitious use of coke. and the desire for something more. stronger. intravenous...

what would be their own deal breaker in a relationship? would they die for love or kill for money?

betrayal. most can be forgiven but to stab fallon in the back after she trusted she could bare the vulnerable side of herself is to ensure a swift end to any relationship. and it won't be clean either. but if one were to be lucky enough to get beneath the armour, to touch the flesh and its weaknesses, she would certainly die for love. that's not to say she wouldn't kill for money, either.

they only have enough change for one call at the phonebooth, and someone with glaring red eyes and a spatula is standing across the street. who will they call?

stella, clarifying she only has a couple minutes to pull up before fallon takes care of this herself. or truthfully: sarai. just to let someone with medical expertise know where she is — whether it means fallon's the one who winds up injured or the creep is unclear.

ii. the zeitgeist of the 90's

their favourite slasher film is...

the slumber party massacre series. in general, fallon likes any slasher or horror film — the more b-rated, the better. satisfying her penchant for trashy media, the series is the sort that she can throw on her tv and let play in the background softly as if it's any other vinyl record to another.

in their free time, they enjoy going out and...

thrifting. it's not like fallon has a lot of cash to throw on on non-essentials: rent, food for her and cerberus, the gang, and her drugs. sweet thing grunge looks good second-hand, and she has an amateur hand at repairing an article to her standards. there's a balance of looking dirty and actually being dirty, the latter of which she despises. thrifting at consignment stores is a random activity that might draw the eye of those perplexed to discover her sifting through the racks, and then it starts to make sense. big headphones crowning her head and shielding her ears, a couple hangers draped over a shoulder while she inspects the cargo pants she knows she can dye black in her tub to fit the aesthetic; and if she only happens to find a shirt or belt she likes, it's easy to slip it on as part of the outfit and no one is the wiser.

a fashion fad of the times they adore that their friends would despise is...

the spiky space buns hairstyle. even a singular bun, as long as it's got straightened ends that jut out as if they're truly sharp, fallon will wear them despite the fact it's not exactly "hard" of her to do so.

how often do they order delivery from peppy's pizzeria? have they ever seen the walls ooze green slime in the pizzeria or the animatronics move on their own during their time in anchorage?

often. fallon doesn't like to cook unless it's easy and there's not enough in the budget to splurge on something more than dehydrated packets of ramen. peppy's subpar pizza is perfect as part of a hangover remedy or a pick-me-up after a long day that's become day. and due to those occurrences that often warp reality ( and not to mention the years of drug use ) fallon has caught movement in the peripheries that she chalks up to her own psychosis and paranoia playing tricks on her.

when they believed in christmas, were they told krampus would pay them a visit for being on the naughty list?

christmas wasn't a fixture in fallon's household even after they moved stateside. the whole knowledge of krampus came from fallon's own delve into folklore in high school, satiating that need for the dark and gritty, and was the whole inspiration for her own snowman she entered into the contest simply because she thought it would be funny to include something grotesque among the adorable entries. what she does believe in? karma. and it certainly divined exaction on her for that act since the krampus snowman had been "stolen" and implicated with the new year's atrocities. in a way... did krampus pay a visit for fallon's naughtiness?

what tall tale or superstition were they told as a child that still gives them the heebie jeebies?

when fallon first heard about w*ndigos. something about cannibalistic fiends morphed of humans prowling in the wilderness all across the world frightened her terribly as a child. even now, when she looks out into the woods from the motel, she can envision a twisted creature staring back, hopeful to devour her heart.

iii. the curse of the spider

are there family secrets or so-called curses that haunt them? ones that are known publicly or follow them figuratively?

until recently, fallon never spared another thought about her parents since she had moved out more than a decade ago. not as though they ever attempted to contact her either. which was fine, but perhaps she would have hoped they cared enough to tell her that the debts they left unpaid for so long had begun to catch up to her. haunting her now, both in the relationship it destroyed and the paranoia that she were to be snatched up at any moment, is the price of her head for her father's sins.

which of the seven sins would corrupt their morals?

wrath. that blind fury. it could turn her against every virtue she holds dear, the very people she would never want to lay a hand on. it wouldn't let go until she blinking back to awareness and she's left with the aftermath of her own possession.

the world remains the same for decades now. is ignorance bliss? or is there the shaky sense something is amiss that can't be ignored?

ignorance is bliss. fallon doesn't care ( or doesn't even realize ) that the world doesn't appear to have changed in an abnormally long period of time.

dreams are often influenced by the subconscious and sometimes distorted. in their deepest, darkest nightmares, how do they view themselves?

like a kicked dog. that she will never amount to anything more. that her time will come and pass, and no one will have noticed. utterly forgettable. unlovable.

iv. the crooked frame

what is their death wish? the perfect crime was constructed and someone else took their place. how did they originally die?

fallon is largely unaware of her own imposter. and she hopes that when her due is ready to be collected, that it goes swiftly. a bullet to the back of the head. dead before she hits the ground. originally? she had already been her parents' collateral once. a test subject sold off to wipe the slate clean and rid themselves of a burden. only, she came back... and different. wrong.

the muse couldn't be the one behind the tunnel of love outage because when the power went out, they were...

fucking stuck in there. the bruises on her waist indicate the fervor in which she escaped the metal confines of the ride trying to bar her there.

what would they consider their calling card?

haphazard drawing of a spiky, feral rat. in the dirt. in graffiti. in blood.

those with intermediate technical skills have used cracks and vpn's to improve the internet connection, but anything post-dating the 1990's is only accessible through the dark web. has the muse ever accessed the dark web? have they used it for any nefarious means or to purchase services?

fallon has never personally accessed it with her complete lack of technical skill. but she does have contacts, and therefore, been able to use the dark web for personal and work purposes. some jobs have been completed in order for some quick cash to supply the bastards, and she has been able to stock up on paraphernalia through these means.

[agroodolce]

2121 - 1221

The Angel Number 2121 means inner peace and spiritual harmony.  The Angel Number 1221 is a message from your guardian angels: they are with you, to support and guide you through a new beginning, a new phase in your life. 

These angel number are really important to me.

Firstly I noticed the latter: it was the time of the day in which the boy I’ve been dwelling on restlessly all spring and summer, finally delievered his photography class exam - which, really, was a tale about what actually happened to him on my birthday, last day of August. I had been upset with him about his no show, overthinking and convincing myself he just didn’t care enough to come - my mistake. While I’d been crying hysterically about him being a lying asshole, he truthfully was stuck in his room, quarantining for two whole weeks, burning with a virus-fueled fever. Piling my pride and my bitterness, I stared at the pictures, hit like a deer in the headlights: all the tears and distress and reeking anger I felt for one whole week were a projection of my own pessimistic expectations, none of it was ever real. He had never meant to hurt me. And maybe that, that last, shattering reality-check, after a whole summer away from him, had actually happened exactly as intended: a cleanse, before a new beginning. 

21:21 appeared to me in a setting that, to this day, I find hard to believe really ever happened: he had finally built the courage (or sheer curiosity, who knows?) to ask me out on a late night date at a pub - and there we were, anything but sober, speaking softly to each other, pretty faces chiselled by the shadows from the low orangish lights, jazz music and club remixes playing faintly above our heads. It wasn’t the first time we hung-out past the sunset, but it sure was the first time we hadn't picked any excuse to camouflage the genuine wish to see each other - alone, together. I checked the time on my phone, and squealed under my breath, greeted with yet another reason to believe I was, in fact, right: we’re meant to be together in this universe. That night I told him in poetic fashion I’d had a thing for him ever since I met him, and as pleasantly as unexpectedly I've been met by a blushy laughter and his beautiful smile - but oh, his smile is deceptive. As always, he drifted me so well from getting his thoughts on the matter, and after that night we haven’t really spoken about it again. It’s not that easy, being in love with your university coursemate: he found his way to claim the seat next to me everyday since that day, but that's been a habit of ours for months now - what’s not an habit, however, is the suddent inability to speak to each other we've been hit with, that’s killed our every convo since that night. I know I’m chickening away, but so is he. 

These past few days I’ve felt vulnerable: everything feels realer after telling him, and although I trust him, I’ve already used up all my cockiness. I’d decided I’d give him time, but really, for once I was the one needing it. Tonight, after days of lingering flashbacks and dead-end hypothesis, I checked the time on my desktop, and there it was: 2121. Guess I’ll take the hint, then. 

[pynkhues]

Hi! I am at anon who asked for advice.  my best friend invited me to the social event, being the people pleaser I am I agreed to it. I have the worst social anxiety, and much rather be home than out, especially in a weekday when I have so much homework to do. My friend is the complete opposite. She is a social butterfly and thrives in social situations. this is a work event and I know it’s something that is important to her. I know I’m overthinking but I regret saying yes because now I’m so anxious over it. How do I tell her I don’t really really wanna go ? Should I even back out especially so close to the event . I can’t Help but think that if the roles were reverse, she would do it for me. I feel like a bad friend if I say no, what do you think? Have you ever been in this kind of situation ? 

Hey! I'm so sorry for the late reply, anon, the last couple of days got away from me a bit (my sister and little nephews have come to stay today, and the lead-up to them being here was a bit more hectic than I anticipated, haha), so I might have missed the window for this, and I'm sorry if I have!

But to answer truthfully - - I don't know. It's hard to give advice in approaching a situation like this without knowing all the dynamics at play, but I do tend to think that honesty is generally a good thing.

A frank conversation with your friend about what both her and your own needs and capacity are could go a long way.

To me, in answering this though, I think there are actually two areas to be unpacked and explored, one being to do with your feelings of social anxiety, and the other being to do with the expected reciprocity of friendship. I might start with the latter, if that's okay, just because I think I have an easier answer for it, haha.

So yeah, look, when it comes to friendship, I do believe in give and take. I believe in 50/50, but that doesn't mean every interaction and every exchange needs to be reciprotated then and there, nor does it need to be received or given back in the same way. When I look at my closest friendships, there are time where I feel I've given 110% of it - whether through break-ups or other troubled friendships or the loss of a parent or just general mental health, but in most of those, there have been times I know I've taken the same levels of support from them too.

Life's long, and friendships that are built to last are going to have ebb and flow to them. Listening to what your friends need, and giving when you have the capacity to give, is really important, just as being able to speak and lean on them when they have the capacity to give and you need to take is important too.

Thing is though, it can't just exist for the big stuff. The little stuff matters too. I suspect I'm a little older than you, given your mention of homework, haha, so my advice-built-off-experience is that friendships can schism over small things, especially when small things take on greater meaning. I'm not saying this to guilt you - you shouldn't feel guilted at all - but you say this is important to your friend, which means you're right (and already a good friend) to treat it as A Real Decision whether or not to go.

This might not be the popular take on tumblr.com, but if it's important to her, I do think you should go. If she's invited you, with notice, it likely means that beyond it mattering to her, she wants you there, and even showing up can be something that deepens your connection and further realises your friendship. Because again, as you get older, you realise how much showing up for people matters.

If you can't though, if it is too much, then find ways to make it up to her that are more comfortable to you. I'm currently going through a very difficult situation with my sister in family court, and one of my best friends in the world can't listen to me talk about it because it's a professional conflict of interest (she works in family court! And could even potentially work on my sister's case!) and that's!! Really fucking hard!! But she's found other ways to support me in ways I didn't expect which can really be boiled down to just being really present as a friend even if she can't actually talk to me about this stuff going on in my life. (And we've booked in a weekend away for once court is done, haha).

Right now, it's not always what I need from her, but it's what she's able to give, and it's deliberate and feels omnipresent at this point, and I love her for that.

With your social anxiety - - I don't think I have it to the same extent as you, but I feel it. I have it. I love cancelling plans, haha, but I find that cancelling plans rarely feels good in the long run. A (different) very good friend of mine told me a few years ago that when it comes to managing social anxiety, you tend to regret going less than you regret not going at all, and I think that's true.

So here's my advice: try and go, if you can, and just prepare a few questions. The thing to remember is that people love to talk about themselves, most of the time - in my experience, at least - because they're also a little awkward and their own experiences are something that they feel comfortable talking about. To ask them about them as a result keeps the lens away from you, but also builds opportunities for connection.

Questions I find are good openers / convo re-starters:

How do you know [our mutual friend]?

What do you do for a living / what are you studying? Oh! Does your family have a background in that / do your parents work in that industry [always a great one to invite usually a deluge of emotion and stories]

Have you watched / read anything good recently?

Habe you watched / read anything crap recently?

How'd you get here tonight? [especially if you're in a public transport city - people love to bitch about PT]

[compliment an accessory / hairstyle / item of clothing]

So yes! Sorry, this might be too late (and maybe not what you want to hear) but I think in the first instance, I'd assess your capacity, and what your friend needs in the situation to understand yourself how much you'd be giving in going, but if it's not too much, I'd encourage you to go. I think just showing up for people means a lot - - everything, some of the time (a lot of the time) - - and hell, if it's crap, at least you might get a good story out of it.

[boxofbadaddiction]

Massage Therapy

George Weasley x Fem!Reader

Warnings: [SFW] Sexually Suggestive. Mentions of Friends with Benefits Arrangement. Crack Fic.

Summary: While everyone else goes for a run to the shop George gives Y/n a massage to help ease some of the pain in her back. But things go pear-shaped when Molly returns home.

Y/n had been an honorary Weasley for many years. She'd just about grown up alongside them since her parents moved to the same town when she was 9.

Overtime she grew especially close to one Weasley in particular.

George.

Their personalities complimented one another perfectly and so naturally it wasn't long before their feelings of friendship and familial love escalated to something more, and everyone could see it.

Honestly, their family and friends were just waiting for the inevitable moment when the pair finally admit their feelings for one another and get together. It was silly, they thought, for them to remain so oblivious to one anothers affections and prolong it any longer.

At least that's what everyone thought.

Truthfully, Y/n and George had been secretly exploring the limits of their relationship for a few months now. Cautiously dancing the fine line between friends and something more.

The late night rendezvous would beg the latter were true of course but regardless, labels weren't important. They wanted to take their own time to learn whether they were right for each other before letting in the pressure of everyone else's opinions by going public. For the meantime they were happy and that's all that mattered.

Y/n slowly trudged her way downstairs, fresh from a good, hot shower where she desperately tried to loosen the stiffness in her shoulders and lower back...to little avail. The knots and aches in her muscles were still very much there unfortunately.

"Hey" came the low voice of George from the lounge room. He got up quickly from the couch and moved to meet her at the base of the stairs; a dopey smile tugging on his lips as he took in her cosy appearance.

"Hey" Y/n smiled back to the boy as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"You look refreshed" he commented mockingly, playing on her earlier turn of phrase when she'd excused herself to the bathroom to 'freshen up'.

Her hands grazed across his biceps as she leant into his body further, tilting everso upwards in an inviting way, "Mmm, I am" Y/n mumbled in reply sighing against her lover in comfort. George leant down capturing her lips in a slow and sensual kiss.

"Mmp, wait-" Y/n spoke against his lips and tried to pull away from his arms. Her eyes frantically scanned the Kitchen and other rooms in view, "Where's-"

"No one's back yet." George assured her, seemingly having read her mind. The other occupants of the household had gone to the store to get some groceries for lunch and dinner unintentionally leaving the lovesick pair alone in a completely empty house.

With a harsh tug to her lower back George pulled Yn back flush against himself and kissed her with heightened passion. A single hand coming to caress the back of her head: fingers tangled in her damp locks of hair all the while his tongue danced across her own in perfect synchrony.

Y/n so wished she could enjoy the moment to it's fullest, however with the way he'd, unknowingly, agrivated her tender back muscles she was finding it hard to focus on anything other than the stinging pain nagging at her lower back and so she reluctantly pulled away once more.

With a steady hand to his chest she hung her head as she drew several long breaths with tightly shut eyes.

"What's wrong? Did I do something?" George asked with concern, seeing the way Y/n's features scrunched in a displeasing way. "I had brushed my teeth earlier, but while you were in the shower I found Ron's Bertie Botts stash and haven't gotten a nice one yet-" George rambled only to be cut off by Y/n.

"It's not you, Georgie. Don't worry you've done nothing wrong...although I did notice the Bean flavour and I'll admit it's not a girl's first wish when snogging her- uhm well, you get it."

"Then what's happened? You look like you're in pain." George stated looking her body over concernidly.

"A little" Y/n added honestly, "it's just these knots I have in my back. They're a right nuisance." She chuckled trying to make light of her current situation.

"Oh...did the shower not help?"

"It did a little but as much as I stretched I couldn't quite reach to work them out myself."

George's face wore a sympathetic kind of frown for the most of the conversation as it played out, until that final word left Y/ns lips and an idea sprung to mind. Now he was looking between her and the staircase with fixed contemplation. A small grin began working it's way out the more assured he became in his decision.

"Give me your hand for a second."

"What?"

George grabbed Y/ns right arm and held it high, stepping in closely he dipped his knees slightly and placed it over his shoulders. His left arm gently wrapped around her upper back as his right scooped in behind her knees and he hoist her into his arms; carrying her bridal style.

A surprised yelp came from Y/n as her feet left the ground, her other arm grabbing George's shoulder with frantic haste.

"George! What are you doing?"

"Come on, let's get those pesky knots out." He spoke as he began the ascension to his and Fred's bedroom.

"Just how do you figure we'll do that?"

"I'm giving you a massage." he smiled. Although Y/n was sure his intentions were pure that small mischievous glimmer behind his eyes had her suspicious.

Walking towards the room George kicked the door open and stepped carefully past the threshold. As he were but 3 steps from his bed he turned sharply in place and fell back onto the mattress. Another surprised yell, followed by an amused laugh, being elicit from Y/n who he watched closely with the utmost adoration and held her tightly to his chest.

Carefully he rolled over so her back was against the bed, legs left dangling from the knees off the edge and he hovered above her with a fond smile.

"Get comfortable...I'll go see if we have any oils I can use." His voice was quiet as he spoke, finishing the sentence with a tap to her nose with the pad of his forefinger before disappearing back out of the room.

Upon his return from the bathroom George had nudged the door to a near-close and drawn the curtains to block out a lot of the afternoon sun's abrasive light. Replaced instead by the calming flicker of a small scented candle he knicked from his Mother's collection; along side some of Ginnys cinnamon and green apple moisturiser.

Y/n was now laid face down on George's bed: her chest, neck and head supported by a pillow tucked tightly beneath her folded arms.

Her shorts had been pulled ever so slightly down, exposing the tops of her hips, whilst her shirt was pulled over her head; still covering her chest and the top most point of her arms.

George wasted little time getting to work. He applied a generous amount of the moisturiser to his hands and delicately placed his palms to her lower back causing Y/n to jolt at the sudden chill that came with the coldness of the cream meeting her warm skin.

George was straddling her thighs as his hands worked diligently to relieve the pent up tension in his lovers body.

The early set of small hisses of breath and painful chuckles at the tenderess had long since been replaced by soft moans and long sensual sighs as she melts completely beneath his touch.

Y/n was fighting the call of sleep which her body begged her to answer. The relief brought on from George's ministrations coupled with the delicate aroma of apple and cinnamon as it mingled with the candles fragrance was heavenly.

Meanwhile, downstairs, the Burrows other occupants were arriving home. Walking through the old homes back door alive with light chatter and many hands full of groceries.

"We're home, love birds!" Fred called as he disconnected from his small bicker with Ron turning to the lounge where he expected the pair to be. Disappointed to see they in fact weren't.

Molly followed in closely behind all the children instructing everyone where to put the various items they'd bought.

As she packed away her own bag of goods she turned with a flustered sigh to over look the kitchen and lounge mentally running through a check list of everyone present.

Ginny was packing away the dishes, Ron and Fred were unloading the remaining bags and Harry was cleaning up any rubbish that lay around. Leaving two individuals amiss.

"Fred?"

"Yeah, Ma?"

"Where's George and Y/n/n?"

"Mum, I've been home as long as you have." He spoke in an obvious and sarcastic tone. A confused kind of grimace came across her face at their absence. "Relax, they're probably just upstairs." Said Ron noticing his Mothers conflicted expression. Molly hummed absently in response running a tea towel through her fingers as she wondered.

"I might just go look for them, make sure everything's alright." She thought aloud, it were out of the ordinary behaviour for the pair not to be around when everyone else was. 'Perhaps they just didn't hear us come home.' She thought.

As Molly began to ascend the rickety staircase her ears were met with the familiar squeak of each floorboard but also the rather immodest and provocative moans of a young woman.

Her eyes went wide the more noise reached her ears.

Gentle gasps and snippets of muffled dialogue were emitting from the shared bedroom of her Twins. The door only just ajar allowing their voices to carry down the steps:

"How's that?" Her son's voice questioned.

"Mmm, harder." Y/ns voice replied. "Oh, Merlin-" she moaned.

"Hang on, let me try another angle. That feels better, doesn't it?" There's a low moan and hiss of pain from Y/n in reply. "I know it hurts right now Y/n/n but I'm nearly there just need to get a little deeper."

"AH! Shit- George!"

"Sorry, you're doing so well, Darling. Just a little more."

As shock subsided in Molly a new fear began to thrum in her chest. Without thinking her legs began to carry her as fast as they could towards the room, arms flailing as she began to shout. Various calls of half finished sentences being made in her charge.

"NO! NO! Enough!! IT IS TOO EARLY FOR ME TO BE A GRANDMOTHER!!" She bellowed, keeping her eyes trained to the ground as she barged in the room. "GEORGE! Off! Off! Stop it the BOTH OF YOU!" She continued, smacking at her son with her tea towel.

"OW!..MUM? What the bloody hell is wrong with you, Woman?"

"Don't you take that tone with me boy! You ought to be ashamed. There'll be none of that going on under my roof so long as I'm around, I can assure you!" She turned to the small candle flickering on the bedside table and blew it out quite aggressively.

"Mum, we weren't doing anything?" George speaks with an exasperated and frustrated tone.

"Oh weren't you? I've been on this earth a lot longer than you George Weasley I think I can tell when someone's having-" Mollys eyes finally meet with the pair and she takes in the sight.

George is fully clothed while Y/n is sat pulling her shirt on properly and her pants are, in fact, still on. However, there's tissues and moisturiser over the bed as well as the night stand and the scent of smoke from the extinguished candle reaches her nose, all of which confuses the older woman.

"Having what, Mum, a massage?" George snaps sarcastically.

The air between everyone becomes very awkward very quickly. Y/n is unable to speak from the shock and unease in her chest, rather hoping for the mattress to simply swallow her whole. The girl buries her face in the pillow she'd had placed under herself hugging it tightly to her chest.

"Uhh-" Molly grimaces as embarrassment begins to rise inside her.

"Y/n said she had a lot of pain in her shoulders so I offered to try work out the knots in her muscles. Turns out her back was a right mess, so I was helping her. Nearly had the last knot too until you came barrelling in like a maniac."

Molly's mouth were opening and closing at a loss for words. "...oh." she spoke simply.

"Well, lunch will be ready in 15 minutes I expect you both down there shortly...after you clean up this- right. I'll leave you to it." Molly spoke quickly, turning in place and walking from the room.

As she took fast steps from the room she bumped into Fred who was looking to his Mother with shock and amusement before walking into his room with a wide grin and a chuckle forming in his chest.

Y/n looked up from the pillow as she heard Molly's steps leave the room however groans, dropping her face into her hands, as Fred enters.

"What the bloody hell was all that about?" He laughs, having overhead his Mothers earlier shouts.

George can't help himself and starts laughing so hard he falls back onto his bed causing Fred to join in as he looks between the pair.

Y/n grabs the pillow and hits George with it. "It's. Not. Funny!" She speaks, each word emphasised by a smack with the pillow which George poorly deflects during his fit of laughter.

"I-I beg to differ." The younger twin struggles to speak through his laughter which just makes Y/n groan more.

"Right, well since this was your idea you can clean up." The girl snaps throwing the pillow in his face which he catches and smoothly moves to prop his head up watching her with a happy smile, "I'm going to brave the kitchen and help your Mother prepare lunch...hopefully she'll be able to look at me again after this."

"Goodluck with that, Y/n/n." Fred chuckles as she walks past him and out the room with a grumble of curses under her breath. The eldest twin peers from the doorway as she leaves to watch until she is out of earshot for him to speak to his brother.

George lets out a long sigh from where he's laid comfortably on the bed, one knee raised and swaying casually as his opposite arm supports his head, other rested across his stomach.

A dopey smile overcomes his features at the thought of his day. It were unfortunate of course that his Mother had to barge in and spoil his intimate moment with the woman he loves but really, he wouldn't change a moment of the day.

'Right,' He thinks 'we had probably go down too.'

With a heave of effort George throws himself up from the bed and stretches to wake up the parts of his body which had fallen asleep during his time with Y/n.

Fred walks over to George and nudges his shoulder playfully with a closed fist, "You know, had me excited for a second there. Thought you must have finally made your move on her and gotten somewhere while we were gone." He winks smiling to himself.

"Why do you think she's so sore?" George speaks with a deadpan expression.

He looks to his brother with a poker face and raises an eyebrow, watching as Freds smile fades; his eyes lose that teasing glint and his lips part in shock. George leaves without another word following Y/n to the kitchen.

When he reaches the stairs he lets a small, cocky grin break across his lips at the look left on Fred's face. His smile grows wider when he hears Freds voice call after him:

"WHAT! GEORGE-"

[kxowledge]

Haven’t done a proper update in ages and truthfully I’ve been neglecting this blog, but here it is:

Went to Glendalough for my birthday, which I enjoyed immensely. There’s some advantages to living in the British Isles, but I doubt I’ll be back in Ireland anytime soon. So far, it’s the worst country I’ve lived in and I will not miss it. There’s job aplenty, but the cost of living and the housing situation are not worth it. I know mine was a limited experience, but I also feel like Ireland has lost a lot of its cultural identity. Except for their accent, someone from Dublin and someone from England would not differ much, from what I could see. This of course is more accentuated in Dublin compared to rural places, but even those are losing so much of their heritage – their crafts, their cuisine, but also the natural landscape (which is stunning, but suffering and changing significantly). I’d recommend THIS series of documentaries and THIS cookbook if interested. It’s strange to think about the fact that someone of the people I’ve met have lived through the Troubles, yet now any sort of distinction with the UK seems to be non-existent. I am generalizing and really, I shouldn’t because I’ve also see inspiring local efforts at preserving biodiversity and bees and the Irish language and a connection with nature and art and crafts and so much more. And as much as I can complain about costs of living and housing, I know this sentiment is common. There’s potential for the future and it will be interesting to see how things will evolve.

Finally, finally!, done with the exam session. I’ve been enjoying hiking and swimming and being in the sun and now I also reading, beyond coursework. At least to a certain extent, because I still have two exams in September for theology and I need to start preparing for my Master’s degree. I’m excited for the latter, but also I wish I had more time so I could brush up on various topics in advance (econometrics, strategy, microeconomics).

Taking a gap year (turned into multiple years) was a good decision. [I know I promised various posts on this topic, and I will! I will! write them, but this is not it.] Very unexpectedly, one of the main positive things to come out of it is that… I have interests. All my time during my (first) BSc was geared towards survival – internships, jobs, what I learned, how I spent my free time. Either it was for basic necessities (money to buy food, building basic habits, etc) or in order to break into finance or find out what I was interested in when I realized I hated working in finance. It’s not that I didn’t have interests per se, but any interest was confined to that and never went beyond a simple ‘I would like to’. Doing new things is not always easy, true, but it was mostly that I didn’t have either time or money for any sort of hobby. Hobby being the wrong word, but also the only one available: by no means my chosen career is more important than these. And now I’m into wines and permaculture and gardening and bees and pottery and bouldering and botany and theology and philosophy and perfumes and embroidery – and there’s much more to explore! I enjoy a great variety of activities and make sure my life is filled with different interests, because it is enriched by it. Beyond simply the joy that all of these bring me (and will continue bringing me in the future), I also feel calmer about wanting to go into academia. It is my chosen field and I will try hard to make it my career, but if it doesn’t work out, I know I’ll still be okay, because beyond that there’s so much more.

Anyway, what brough the above stream of thought is that I’ve been really, really into perfumes lately. Love everything about them (except the prices). This June I attended a Frederic Malle event which gave me a deeper appreciation of some of their fragrances. I’ve also bought a Floraiku discovery set, which I’m excited about. Desperately want to sample some Carner Barcelona fragrances (I love Palo Santo and want to try Tardes and Latin Lover!). And so, so many more. I’m having such fun.

I guess that as a general update, I should talk also about faith, but I don’t really want to. I don’t like black/white distinctions and this is where I landed. Faith is fluid, faith is a path and a spectrum. I don’t believe God exists, but I want to and that is enough. Doubt is part of the Christian existence. I find value in religion and that is enough. I don’t know what this means in practice, but I’ll keep reading the Scriptures and I’ll keep attending mass (hopefully more regularly, still at distance for now, maybe in presence at one point). I’ll figure out things eventually, for now, this is enough. Faith can be a journey too.

As I mentioned before, I still have two exams to prepare before September, one on St Augustine, one on Practical Theology (I’ve chosen to focus on the baptism ritual in early Christian communities and on the Eucharist for the nonbaptised). A v busy summer indeed!

[mirkwoodsprinceofdoingtoomuch]

Slowly; All At Once.

Summary: A moment of vulnerability brings about a confession in the form of eight words.

Author's Note: I can't help myself when it comes to these two. (:

***

Eddie fell in love with Steve the way you fall asleep; slowly, then all at once.

He'd be kidding himself to say he didn't know or hadn't paid attention. He knew exactly when, where, and what. . . And he was enchanted from that moment on. But what Eddie didn't expect was how hard it would be to tell him.

For Eddie, love wasn't instant the way it was for Steve. He hadn't looked in the frightened brown eyes of this man and decided right there that he was the one, he hadn't felt a skip in the routine pattern of his heartbeat or desired to know everything there was about him. In fact, Eddie hated him, despised him. If it were between accepting Steve's help or selling himself out, he'd have chosen the latter on a good day. But it wasn't a good day, and he had no choice. He was on the run from a town that hated him for a murder he didn't commit; Steve was merely the means to an end, his only hope in an otherwise hopeless world.

Truthfully, it wasn't until the portal in Lovers Lake.

Sitting there in the boat with Steve preparing to jump into the water like it was just another Saturday night, leaving him with Nancy and Robin to wait and see if he'd find the portal. And then he had, and Eddie was proud. But then he was dragged back down, and he disappeared beneath the surface, and Eddie's heart was in his throat and he didn't know why.

Nancy and Robin certainly didn't hesitate to follow him down, and Eddie couldn't just sit there with Steve probably drowning. He was terrified of what he would discover through that portal, all of it just seemed so. . .unbelievable. But he was more terrified of Steve dying alone. He didn't even like the guy, not really, not yet. Well, he liked him enough to follow the girls through the unknown.

And then they found him. Steve. Those things had him, the Demobats, they'd called them. And Eddie couldn't just let him die. His heart was in his stomach then, his hands gripped tight around an oar from the boat, and all he could think about was how they were gonna get out of there alive. All of them. And Steve.

Then it was over, the bats were either dead or gone, but Steve looked rough. So rough. The Demobats “took a pound of flesh,” he said, and he was weak from blood loss and Eddie was simply weak in the presence of greatness.

“Earth to Munson,” Robin says, snapping her fingers near Eddie's face. It's not unusual for him to zone out like this lately.

He shakes his head, blinking back to life. “Huh? What the fuck, Buckley? Get your fingers out of my face,” he growls, it's non-threatening.

She laughs and hands him a beer. “Here. I won't ask.”

Eddie isn't sure if he's grateful or not. He and Robin are sort of friends now, thanks to Steve. He still finds her rambling annoying and the weird way she talks about movies and girls she's into and boobs at a thousand miles a minute a bit off-putting. But, for the most part, he likes her. She is Steve's best friend, and Eddie loves her for that. Someone has to take care of Harrington when he's busy.

“So,” she says, “how's he been lately? Better?”

“You spend more time with him during the day than I do, why are you asking me?” He doesn't mean to be a dick about it; he's tired and worried about Steve and they don't talk about what happened. Not as often as they probably should. He sighs, takes a sip of his beer, and stares out at the lake. “I don't know, man. We don't talk about it. He says he's fine but I touch him and he freaks out, you know? And then it's like he's back there again. . . Like he's almost dying again.”

Eddie kicks himself for how pathetic he must sound. He doesn't hold Steve's feelings against him, he understands better than anyone what he's going through. But Eddie talks when he's having a bad day, and Steve doesn't.

He shakes his head. “He say anything to you?”

“Not really, but you know Steve, he takes care of everyone else before he worries about himself.” Robin shrugs. “Have you guys tried talking about it together? I mean, you went through the same thing. Maybe it'll help to know he's not alone. In his feelings, you know? And if he's still holding onto that, then there's gotta be a reason why. Maybe he's waiting for you to say something.”

“Maybe,” he says.

The sound of tires on gravel approaching the front of the house pull their attention from the lake to the back door. Moments later, Steve makes his way through the house and Eddie hears the familiar clink of his keys on the kitchen counter before he joins them on the patio.

“How was work?” he asks and flinches at the roughness in his voice. This shouldn't feel as weird as it does, it's just Steve coming home from work. They do this every day.

Steve sighs and sits on the ground beside Eddie's deck chair. Robin passes him a beer and he takes a moment to open it, relish in the aroma, and let the contents pour down his throat in the longest sip Eddie's ever seen him take. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

“That bad?” Robin asks, intrigued. Amused.

“Buckley, every day I have to work with Keith by myself is a bad fucking day.”

Eddie grips onto the arms of his chair and his knuckles go white from the force. After everything that's happened, he hopes Steve will look into finding a new job. One that doesn't require working for a douchebag like Keith but despite the obvious downsides to the job, Steve thoroughly enjoys working at Family Video and Eddie supports him anyway. So on the bad days, he daydreams about punching Keith in his stupid face.

Steve's fingers find their way into the spaces between his and he relaxes into his chair. Damn it, Harrington. Let me be pissed off. Eddie thinks his anger is the only thing he has right now but it isn't, he has Steve. He flips his hand over so his palm is facing up and lets Steve take hold. Since that first night with his nightmares, this is as close as they come to touching these days and he figures Robin's right. . . Maybe they should talk.

And it's as if she's reading his mind when she stands from her seat, pours out the rest of her beer in the grass, and gives him a knowing look. Talk to him, she mouths. To Steve, she says, “See you tomorrow, dingus.”

“Robs, are you sure you don't want me to drop you off?” Steve asks, eyebrows furrowed as he watches her reach for the back door.

“Nah, it's 10 minutes.” She shakes her head gratefully. “Later, Munson.”

“Yeah, see you, Buckley.”

And with that, the Harrington-Munson backyard descends into silence.

***

It's a good three hours later before Eddie has any idea of what he wants to say.

He picks up the remote for the VHS player from the tiny makeshift end table beside him and presses PAUSE, effectively suspending John Bender in the middle of one of his many diatribes aimed at the four individuals he has the misfortune of being jailed in the library with on a Saturday morning. Eddie smiles sheepishly; The Breakfast Club has become one of his favourites, if not for the sole purpose of listening to Steve gush about his semi-likeness to the misguided misfit.

“Hey! What gives? We're at one of the best parts,” Steve protests, throwing his hands in the air.

Eddie breathes deep and it takes all he has not to chicken out of this conversation. He scratches his cheek nervously, watching Steve from the corner of his eyes. Now or never, Munson. It's a shitty pep talk, but it'll do.

He swallows. “I remember what it felt like,” he says timidly. “When its tail wrapped around my neck and suddenly I couldn't breathe. . . I was just there, on the ground, and there were dozens of teeth ripping into me. And I remember how dying felt.”

Their small living room is quiet except for the sounds of their breathing; Eddie's slow and uncertain, and Steve's shallow as if he were taken by surprise. Eddie tries to gauge his partner's reaction and finds himself at a loss. For all the ways he can usually read Steve like an open book, in this moment he senses the gap growing between them.

Steve recoils. He feels his heartbeat quicken, his breaths turn sharp and painful, and he feels reality around him fading into a distant dream.

Eddie knows this look; he's seen it before, too many times to count. He reaches for Steve's hand but he pulls away too quickly. Eddie is too invested in making this work to be offended. All that matters is Steve.

He hangs his head, hoping his next words come out right. . .

“I wasn't afraid, you know? Not until after. Not because I was going to die but because I didn't want to go without saying goodbye. Or without you knowing how I felt. That I knew what you went through and it was okay. . .you were okay.” He looks up to see Steve staring back at him with tears in his light brown eyes. He lifts his hand to his neck; he needs Steve to hear this, to understand it. “Sometimes it's like I can still feel it and if I think about it too long it feels like I'm right back at that night―” he pauses and reaches for Steve again.

This time he meets Eddie's hand halfway, his left one is around his neck mirroring his boyfriend's actions and Eddie knows he did it without thinking. He smiles softly. “Steve, if you can't― if you need more time to-to deal with all of this, then. . . I'll give it to you. I get it, I get you. But, man, you aren't alone. You don't have to carry this alone. Not anymore.”

Eddie isn't sure what he's expecting to happen, but he's certain it isn't what occurs in those next few moments as Steve launches himself across their small couch. He barely has time to brace for the impact or decide what to do with his hands before Steve's body settles against his.

“I wish I could forget. . .” Steve's voice is soft; if Eddie weren't paying attention he'd have missed it. “I want to forget how almost dying felt.”

Tears gather at the edges of the older man's eyes and he blinks them away. He presses a soft kiss against the crown of Steve's head and the light brown strands of his hair tickle Eddie's nose. No matter how hard it gets from tonight on, he knows they're in this. He is in this.

“Do you trust me, Stevie?”

“What kind of a dumb question is that?”

“Just answer it, do you trust me?”

He nods. “I trust you. Of course, I trust you, Eddie.”

As Steve looks up at him through his thick lashes, Eddie slides his right hand slowly up his arm and rests his palm lightly against his throat. Neither one moves or blinks, and Eddie hopes he isn't making a big mistake.

“Eddie?”

“Let me help you remember how living feels.”

The more he fought it, the harder he fell. Falling in love with Steve Harrington happened like falling asleep; slowly, then all at once. And Eddie Munson had never been happier to be wide awake.

[angelkurenai]

Beautifully reckless - Dean Winchester x Reader

Title: Beautifully reckless

Pairing: Michael!Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: None

Prompt: lately i just felt like reading a michael!dean fic, and since you're an amazing writer, I'd love to see you write a one shot/imagine with him. so here you go, reader is sam's and dean's friend who is a psychic, and after michael possesses dean, he starts feeling something for her that he never felt before? just some soft michael!dean, please? i love ur fics, they are truly unique and awesome to read

“Took you long enough, you bastard.”

The voice tone, to some extent, took Michael by surprise, to the point he jumped on the spot. Though he would never admit to that. He was used to respect, well, fear actually and he was used to hearing calculated and careful words. It wasn't like he had not been called that many more times before, but that was mostly in his face, and not behind his back (literally) and in such a tone. Not when everyone around him knew better than to push their luck. The fact that he really wasn't still around the people who used to tremble in fear when he was facing them, or not actually, and that he, Michael himself, wasn't entirely the same person as when he was in the Apocalypse world.

“I- Excuse me?” he couldn't stop the words from leaving his lips before he stopped in his steps and turned around to face the source of the voice that was so bold.

Within barely the span of a minute, he found himself being stunned twice... or maybe thrice, but there was barely any time to duel on that. Not in those first few seconds. Not when the sudden giddiness overwhelmed him and his breath came out shakily, as if somebody had just knocked it out of him. What was it that had just happened to him made him frown but his attention was instantly back on you.

The smile on the face of the person standing before him was not a surprise on it's own, seeing how much the sparkling and warm eyes told him that smiling was not a rare occurrence, but rather the fact that he had not expected such a friendly and caring, if the words were even enough to explain it, smile on your face after the way the words had sounded. Or perhaps it had indeed been all him and there had not been a real threat behind those words. He, after all, still kept forgetting that things had changed drastically.

“Let me guess-” the smile turned into a smirk, the teasing kind, the friendly and familiar kind of teasing he had truthfully never been on the receiving end and that sent him off balance “This is payback for those three weeks I stood you up in a row huh? Fair enough, fair enough. You had the right to not show up today either so I suppose I should be grateful you're here. And we're perfectly timed too.”

“Perfectly timed?” he repeated “I actually-” but before he could get to complete his sentence, he felt a pair of arms wrapping around him in what could clearly and very easily be described as a quick hug. It wasn't the long, tight and longing one he might have expected, probably because it hadn't been long since you had last been in touch, however that was not what he really dueled on at that moment. Not something he could duel on that is, not when he had to stop himself from returning the hug himself.

It was an impulse which he could again easily recognize, and even more easily blame on you. Because you had to be the one to blame, there was no other explanation. There was no other way to describe the way his body had just straight up frozen, not in shock but rather eager no less than a puppy (he could never admit to that) to turn to face you, eager to close the distance and eager to take everything in, whether it be by just getting to look at you or by, hopefully (why really?), getting to have you melt in his arms. Though shockingly enough he found himself doing the latter, feelings his muscles relax and a soft breath leave his lips when you were wrapped around him. It was strange, in a frightening way, and he had to push back all those feelings despite how he realized that it was easier to breathe with you there, without any weight resting on his chest. It was you who was responsible, that was easy to understand. What wasn't easy was the why. Why all of a sudden he felt this way with you?

“Gosh, Winchester-” ah yes, how did he not realize it? He was indeed the reason why and Michael hadn't even given his vessel a second thought, not until your eyes locked with his and his heart skipped a beat or two “I'll be able to see an angel's true form before you ever get rid of the green plaid huh?”

“I-” he looked down at himself, well aware that he hadn't had the chance to change Dean's clothes just yet “Funny enough, it was exactly what I had in mind too. Was actually planning on it.”

“Oh finally ready to dress to impress? Hm I wonder how I will be able to spot you next in the crowd. Was lucky this time I suppose.” you pulled away, playful smile ever present.

His eyes narrowed slightly in a way that must have scared his enemies in the past but that held no real threat this time, and maybe that was the most scary part: that he didn't meant it to be, especially to you “And... what makes you think I was actually heading this way?”

“Oh I see.” you placed your hand on your hips, nodding your head with a growing smirk “Feeling bold today. We haven't seen each other in quiet some time and here you come, ready to take me by surprise. I must warn you, though you already know, so I better say remind you-” you took a step closer to him and although he didn't let it show on his face, well, on Dean's face (or so he hoped) that didn't mean he didn't feel the flutter in his chest and the sudden weakness of his knees “You-” you poked his chest with your pointer and he could swear he felt the skin of his vessel start burning there, as if a fire was there that was only spreading “Would find it hard to surprise me, Dean. Not many people can, it's a tough challenge.”

“Well, you might have just done it there. It's time you finally found the right person because I was never one to say no to a challenge.” he felt his own lips form into a smirk, even though he was unable to believe how much he enjoyed seeing the sparkle of excitement in your eyes. Soon followed by the very familiar playfulness he could grow used to. And why shouldn't he? He had his sword, his perfect vessel, and nobody could take that away. He was in full control over Deans body and you clearly had not realized any difference, because apparently for what it mattered, maybe he was a lot like Dean after all- or at least could be, and that was more than enough.

“Bold of you to assume-” you pulled away and he had to stop himself- his vessel from taking a step forward to still be close with you “That it's a game with only one player. Let's see just how easily surprise you can be, Winchester. Feels like after years of friendship I might still be able to learn something new about you.”

“Then it would only be right to warn you I am not that easily taken by su-”

His words would have certainly held more value and determination, if not a chance at convincing you, if his voice had not wavered and, halfway through the sentence, they hadn't been cut off by a far-from-manly yelp that broke through his lips.

Well, if that wasn't a first. Again.

“Yeah, I get it. I get it. You macho man.” you scoffed, but the smirk on your lips was so playful that it almost made him forget what had just happened. Almost. Or maybe just for the moment, because he was sure he had a lot of thinking to do afterwards and maybe a much-needed conversation with his vessel about it.

“I- I didn't-” he blinked, more stunned with himself for reacting this way than anything else.

“'S alright-” you grinned at him in the end “Just, enough talking. Come on, this is no place for that kind of stuff.” you giggled and he got the impression that this wasn't a first for you, so really he ought to be prepared to be surprised in more ways than he could ever imagine.

“Wha- what a-are you-” it was so unlike him but everything about this situation was unlike anything he'd experienced before, he didn't really know what he should consider a normal reaction at this point.

“Wha- what?” you teased, mimicking him “Cat got your tongue, Winchester? Come on, move your pretty ass before they give our table away if we keep talking here.”

And just because he was such a fool for you already, or perhaps out of some inexplicable fear that your table would indeed be given away and you would have to part ways before he got enough of it, he didn't need to be told twice. He followed after you no better than a lost puppy, even if he'd deny it for the rest of his existence, not paying an ounce of attention as he should to the rest of his surroundings. And so, he didn't know what should alarm him more out of the two. The fact that it was easy to let go and relax so easily around you or the fact that he couldn't bring himself to be too far away from you.

Michael was confused. And whenever he was confused, as with anything in his entire existence ever since he was in heaven, he was intrigued. And whenever he was intrigued, he followed the one that interested him. Admittedly it had been centuries, if not ever before in his life, since the one to interest him in this way had been a person, and no less a woman like you.

“Feels like forever, doesn't it?” you breathed out as you both settled into your seats “I shouldn't tell you this but gosh... You're making me so sentimental and weak, Winchester, I'll have to change that somehow. But I have no idea how you do it in the first place, so...” you huffed with, narrowing your eyes at him.

“Good to know.” the easy smile on his lips felt both like his own and not “So I have to keep it up then.” and when he realized he too too much pleasure in your being playful with him, rolling your eyes, he didn't feel like questioning whose pleasure it was.

Your lips parted, and truth was he would have loved nothing more than to hear you tease him again, but he was also thankful for the interruption from the waitress and the moment of silence that followed afterwards, because at least then he had some time to gather his own thoughts, replay any moments that should have struck more than how beautiful your smile was or the way you looked at him.

Well, not him, Dean. But maybe-

“You said...” he started just as you'd given your orders, though he had barely cared about that when the thought crossed his mind “See an angel's true form?”

“Wha- Oh that.” you laughed, shaking your head “I'm not even close to that yet, I'm afraid. Not as much as I'd like but that's only because you're to blame, Winchester. I'm being as careful as I can so as expected things are going slow.”

“You've been... trying?” the confusion, if not the worry, was evident on his face much as he tried to hide it.

“If you say one more time that us psychics are too curious for our own good then I will kick you.” you said and proceeded to do just that under the table with your foot, managing to earn a small groan followed by a warm laugh from Dean.

“You said if. But I didn't say a damn thing!” he protested, still laughing and enjoying (far too much) the innocent shrug you gave him.

“Just taking precautions.” you grinned before you paused for a second too long and looked back up at him again with a softer smile, if he could even call it that, because it didn't reach your eyes not the way it should as he had observed the past couple minutes “I just...” you let a soft sigh “I'm sorry. I've- I know I've made you worry far too many times in the past. Scared you even. And well, you're no better sure, but I'm supposed to be the friend who has the functioning brain cells here and I haven't really lived up to that. I know-” another sigh and he was really starting to feel bothered by how much this seemed to stress you out, more than it stressed him out to keep up the act “I know how much you worry you. I really do. So I promise, even if it's hard for me, that I will hold back if I see things getting out of hand and I'm in danger again.”

The words rang in his ears louder than actual sirens ever could.

“Again?” he repeated with a raised eyebrow. He knew he probably looking more accusing than concerned, if not what he felt even more deep down: terrified. And he didn't even know what was more alarming anymore. The way his heart squeezed inside his chest or his palms clenched in order for his body to cope with the fact that his blood had ran cold and the shivers were far too unpleasant.

He didn't like it, he didn't like it one bit and he knew something had to be done about it.

“Figure of speech, I promise. There haven't been any close calls. At least- You know, ever since we last saw each other that is. But that too has been quiet some time. Speaking of which-” the smile returned on your lips and he had almost not realized it was not there until he understood how the uneasiness in his chest was also due to how you looked so distraught “How have things been for you hm? I haven't the slightest idea about what my two idiots have been up to lately. Is Sam alright?”

“Well, he's been... keeping busy, to say the least. Same goes for me. I wouldn't even know where to begin. Think of it as... a multiverse of madness being out there that needs the Winchesters to deal with.” he forced a small smile on his lips but he barely felt it to begin with, even if you were trying to stir the conversation away from any dangerous endeavors you might's recently had. And, truth be told, he couldn't even begin to think of all the times you might've gotten in trouble that weren't because of your own actions. The mere realization of that fact brought another unpleasant shiver down his spine.

“Ah, makes sense. We've been meeting up in this place at least once every week. 'S good though, I suppose, to take a break once in a while.” you gave a soft shrug, resting your chin on your palm and looked at him through your lashes “I am afraid we were both turning into two very sentimental fools, after all. Coming here, in the place we first met, after all these years.” a small laugh escaped your lips but he could hear the nervousness behind it, see how shy you were about it and deep down he loved seeing this side of you as well, if not wonder what else he could possibly do to evoke it “What are we anyway?”

The question did something to him and he soon realized it wasn't really him, but Dean. He couldn't always tell the difference, what with the Winchester being his perfect vessel, but in that moment he could, crystal clear. And once again it piqued his interest.

“Well, I don't know about you but I for one-” he paused to look into your eyes, to try and read some sort of emotion on your eyes that he might miss otherwise “Don't think I mind so much. Hell, I'll take pride in being always a fool for you.”

To see the way your eyes widened and your back straightened in surprise. Surprise that the words were said out loud or that they were said and were straight to the point, he couldn't tell. What he could tell was that you were not used to this and it was a good thing because things were changing and in a way this should too.

“Ah Dean, whatever happened to you these past months?” you looked away from him when you snapped out of the shock you were in, not that the small forced laugh was any indicator but the fact that you still felt stunned if not shy. You shook your head “Have some mercy on my poor heart, will you? Don't say things like that so carelessly.”

“I'm not being careless. If anything... I'm being honest.” and doing an incredible job at not showing how much that scares me but he couldn't really say that out loud and he knew “Besides, you were the one who started it.”

“Well, yes but actually no. This is what we do, Dean, you can't just go and- and be so... open about it. We-” a nervous laugh that he found too adorable for his poor heart's sake, well Dean's actually but it felt all the same at that moment “What was it that Sam called it? Uh yes, we're both too emotionally constipated to function like proper humans.”

“We don't talk about it remember?” you added in almost a whisper voice, making Michael wonder what was really there more than your playful banter and the way his vessel's heart couldn't rest for a minute “Besides, I know you're not as cool about it as you'd like to think. I can see it all over your face, so stop pretending Winchester.” you huffed, leaning back in your seat with your arms crossed over your chest, and he realized maybe he had underestimated you.

“And that is supposed to mean... what exactly?” he couldn't help the edge his voice took, too many years, centuries that felt an eternity, had taken their toll on him.

“Well, many things actually. But what matters most right now is one...” you tilted your head to the side, a soft expression on your face which stunned him momentarily “There's something on your mind.” it was a statement the left no room for debate “Wanna talk about it?”

The mere sincerity and care in your words were too much to believe in this entirely unprecedented event, and so it was no surprise when the words got stuck in his throat and his mind went entirely bank. Despite the lump that was stuck in his throat, despite how hard it was to swallow it over, the words in the very end formed before he could even comprehend it. And they were some of the most honest ones he'd spoke in a long time “Do I?” he questioned, mostly himself without any expectations for an answer “Funny...”

“What's funny about it?” naturally, though, you didn't hold back. It was clear that no matter how well you could read him, no matter how he was an open book to you, you wanted to know more of him. But which him was the real question.

Michael couldn't even remember when it was the last time that someone cared to know about him. Him, and not whoever had granted him access to wear around. Him, and not whatever face he had. Him, and how he felt. Him, and how he he thought. Him, and why he had done everything he did, what had led him to it and how he felt about it. It was a scary thought and feeling. Scary to hope there could be someone that would look past all of those layers, all that the eyes could see, and try to understand him. Scary that he wanted it, even more. Scary that after all this time, at the most tumultuous time and as he was in the right path to his goals, he felt the need for something so deep. Scary that it could lead him away from said path.

Who was even that reckless to try any of it though? Who could so carelessly approach him and-

“Nothing.” the question answered itself “It's just amusing how... strange it sounds to hear someone ask me if I wanna talk about what troubles me, after all this time. But-” he said as fast as he could, the second he saw you frown in worry “We have plenty of time to talk about that and I promise we will. Later. For now-” he grinned, leaning back in his seat “Seeing an angel's true form huh? That's quiet reckless, you know. If not stupid and careless...”

“Yeah, I know, I was just throwing out the idea that I might-”

“But also fun.” he added before you could get to complete your sentence, enjoying the way that after your frown a smile light up your face once he added with a smirk “Want any help with that?”

[inagetawaycarxo]

CPD PREFERENCE; Being Voight’s Daughter & Him Finding Out You’re Dating Someone From Intelligence.

❛❛ Love Count your blessing! inspired me to request this could I please get a cpd preference/headcanon of y/n being voights daughter and him finding out she is dating one of the team members! Maybe you could do a part 2 to Adams in this request🖤💙❤️❜❜-Anon

WARNINGS:   Crockett trying to steal y/n away from jay, kissing, fluff, angry! Hank, hank in general, whumps, hospitals, fighting, errors I missed.

A/N: Got a Chicago P.D. request? Send it in! REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

Kevin Atwater:

Hank opened the door to a coffee shop. Walking into the shop. He stopped in his tracks as he saw Kevin and you sitting in a booth. Holding each other’s hands. Beaming at each other.

Hank let out a grunt. Walking over to Kevin and you. Standing in front of the table Kevin and you were sitting in.

“So, when were you going to tell me?” Hank spoke. Making you jump in fright. Kevin’s eyes widen slightly before he composed himself. He knew eventually Hank was going to find out that Kevin was dating you.

“Dad,” You gasped out, craning your head to look at him. Gulping as Hank looked at you then at Kevin, face void of expression. Kevin looked more composed than you were. Kevin still held onto your hand.

“Look, Voight…” Kevin started to say only for Hank to interrupt him.

“I’m not mad that you are dating my daughter, I’m just mad the two of you hide it from me,” Hank spoke.

“I was afraid of how you were going to react, and by react, I mean threaten Kevin, or have his job, you weren’t that nice to my previous boyfriend,” You stated. Making Hank look at you for a second, raising his eyebrows, then let out a grunt.

“Do you blame me your track record of boyfriends isn’t exactly perfect,” Hank grumbled out.

“He's right, I mean the last boyfriend you had turned out to be a drug lord,” Kevin spoke. Making Hank nod his head in agreement.

“Hey, you are meant to be on my side,” You huffed out.

“I’m just telling it how it is, don’t get me started on the boyfriend before the drug lord,” Kevin spoke. Shrugging his shoulders. Making you narrow your eyes at him.

“He was a prick,” Hank grumbled out. Kevin nodded his head in agreement, while you looked at your dad then at Kevin in annoyance.

“Okay, I’m going to go get coffees, before my father and you decided to bring up more of my ex’s that you think are complete assholes,” You grumbled, getting up, rolling your eyes as you walked to the counter.

Kevin smiled at you lovingly as he watched you walk away. Hank sat down in front of Kevin.

“I like you Kevin, but if you hurt her, I will hurt you,” Hank spoke. Making Kevin look away from you to look at Hank.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Kevin answered truthfully. Making Hank smile.

“Good,” Hank replied. Turning his head to look at you, feeling ecstatic that you were finally in a good relationship…

Kim Burgess:

Kim quickly grabbed your wrist before you could punch the locker door.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Kim told you. Giving you a sympathetic look.

“She’s dead because I shot her, so, yeah it’s my fault,” You snapped. As tears blurred your vision.

“It was a good shot, okay, she had a gun, she didn’t listen to your orders, you had to,” Kim reassured you.

“At the end of the day, I’m the one that shot her,” You gasped out. Running your fingers through your hair. Back pressed against the locker. You slid down to the floor.

“Y/n,” Kim sighed, sitting down next to you. She wrapped her arms around you. Pulling you closer to her side.

“You did what you had to do,” She cooed.

Making you crane your head to look up at her. Tears falling from your eyes. It broke her heart.

“Don’t ever doubt yourself,” Kim spoke, as she unwrapped her right arm from you. Grabbing the side of your face. Leaning her head down to yours. Eye’s fluttering closed as her lips hovered above yours. Kim’s eyes fluttered closed as her lips touched yours. Making you let out a soft gasp.

The kiss didn’t last long, because the sound of someone clearing their throat made Kim and you pull away from each other.

Both of you looked in the direction of where the sound came from. Eyes widening in horror. Kim quickly unwrapped her arm from you. Getting up she tried to talk but Hank let out a grunt before she could even utter a single word. Making Kim’s heart pound faster. You got up slowly. Looking just as frightened as Kim looked.

“Just don’t let it interfere with your work,” He grunted. Giving Kim and you a hard glare before turning around and walking out of the room.

“Well, that went better than we thought it would, right or do you think he is going to kill me in my sleep,” She gasped out. Eyes wide with fright.

You slightly smiled at her. Walking closer to her till you stood in front of her. Cupping the side of her face. Thumbs caressing her cheeks.

“Relax Kim, it could have gone much worse, and by worse, I mean a yelling match,” You spoke. Making her slightly calm down.

“Least we don’t have to hide it from him anymore,” She spoke.

“Just the rest of the team though,” You spoke. Making her smile. She leaned her forehead against yours.

“I love you,” She beamed.

“I love you more,” You replied.

“Impossible,” she giggled.

Before you could respond, she grabbed the side of your face. Pressing a soft kiss against your lips…

Antonio Dawson:

Antonio grabbed the doorknob of your front door. Turning it open. His other hand grabbing your side. While your hands grabbed the side of his face. Pressing your body against his, as he pressed his back on the door. Opening the door. Antonio walked backwards into your apartment. One of your hands let go of the side of his face. Reaching out and closing the door.

Antonio and you pulled away from each other. Eyes still locked onto each other, as he stripped his jacket off, you did the same stripping your jacket off.

His hands grabbed the side of your face. Roughly pulling you closer to his body. His lips roughly pressing against yours. Making you let out a moan. Gripping his sides.

Antonio pushed you up against the wall, hands trailing down to your waist. Hiking you up. Your legs immediately wrapped around his waist.

Antonio broke the kiss, his lips going straight to your neck. Your head tilted to the side, as a moan escaped your mouth.

“I had a feeling something was going on between Antonio and you,” Your father spoke. Making a scream came from your mouth. Antonio quickly put your feet back on the ground. Both of you looking at Hank in shock.

“Dad,” You gasped out. Feeling slightly exposed even though you still had your clothes on. The only thing you stripped off was your jumper.

“Hank,” Antonio gasped out. Standing next to you. Antonio slightly stood in front of you. Making Hank raise his eyebrow at Antonio.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, one of your hands grabbed the back of his shirt for comfort.

“I think the better question is what are you doing kissing Antonio?” Hank’s voice boomed across

You gulped. While Antonio tried to play it cool. His protective side taking over.

“Because we are dating,” Antonio answered for you. Making you glare at the back of his head. Heart racing. You didn’t want them to fight in your place or fight at all. But your secret relationship with Antonio just got discovered.

“Ow, he was going to find out,” Antonio grunted as you pinched his arm. He looked over his shoulder to look at you.

“I prefer the latter, the much later,” You grunted.

“How long?” Hank asked. Making you gulp.

“For a while now,” Antonio answered, as Hank gave him a cold hard stare. Making you feel nervous.

“Look dad it wasn’t a spur of a moment or a one-night stand that led us together, it has been bubbling up for a while,” You spoke. Voice quaking with worry.

“Oh, I know, the long glances you give each other, the touches, I’m not an idiot,” Hank grunted. His eyes still locked on Antonio’s

“I love her Hank, more than anything,” Antonio spoke, staring at Hank with a genuine expression.

Hank grunted in response to what Antonio said.

“Just don’t break her heart,” Hank spoke.

“I would never,” Antonio responded.

“We will see,” Hank grumbled, turning around, and walking to your kitchen.

Antonio wrapped his arm around you, pulling you closer to his side. Pressing a soft kiss against the top of your head….

Greg ‘Mouse’ Gerwitz:

Mouse checked around the ward before stepping inside your room, he poked his head into your room, looking around your room to see if Hank was in the room.

A giggle escaped your mouth as you saw Mouse stick his head in.

“He's not here,” You spoke, voice slightly slurring from the pain meds they gave you.

Mouse slightly smiled. Stepping into the room. He closed the door, then pulled the curtain across.

“Unless he is hiding under the bed,” You joked, winking at him. Mouse grabbed a chair. Pulling it over to your side. Mouse sat on the chair. Grabbing ahold of your hand.

“How much pain meds are you on?” Mouse asked.

“Mmm, I don’t know enough that I don’t feel that searing pain in my shoulder.” You replied. Smiling lovingly at him.

“You had me worried, I thought you were going to die,” Mouse spoke. Bringing your hand up to his lips.

“Here I am still surviving,” You slurred, arching your brow at him.

Mouse tried to contain his chuckle but failed.

“Your cute,” You beamed.

“Yeah,” Mouse spoke, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink.

“Totally,” You slurred, raising your other hand to pinch his cheek.

The sound of the door sliding opened, made Mouse drop your hand, quickly, but it was too late Hank already saw Mouse holding your hand before he pulled his hand away.

“Sargeant Voight, this isn’t what it looks like, I was just visiting y/n,” Mouse gasped out. Making Hank look at Mouse, raising his eyebrows.

“Hi Dad,” You cheerily greeted him.

“This exactly what it looks like,” You slurred.

“We’re in love,” You beamed, Mouse gave you a mortified look. Feeling like the walls were closing around him.

Mouse turned his head to Hank.

“I would never hurt her,” Mouse tried to reassure your father.

“True,” You backed him up. Nodding your head.

“I love her,” Mouse told your father.

“Also, true, and I love him,” You beamed. Reaching your hand out to hold his hand pouting at him when you couldn’t grab his hand.

Hank’s cold expression turned into a smile. Finding the situation slightly amusing. Mouse was nervous while you were calm as ever.

“Guess, the cats out of the bag,” You stated. Shrugging your shoulders like it wasn’t a big deal.

Hank looked at Mouse. Giving him a serious look, which made Mouse shake in fear even more.

“If you hurt my daughter or break her heart, I will hurt you in ways worse then what you witnessed or went through in the military,” Hank threatened. Making Mouse gulp, he nodded his head yes, too afraid to speak. Not that he could get anything out.

“He isn’t joking on that,” You commented. Making Hank let out a chuckle. While Mouses eyes widen…

Jay Halstead:

Crockett raised his hand, making you let out a giggle, as you high fived his hand.

“You impress me every minute,” Crockett praised you. As he and you walked to the parking lot.

“Well, I do my best,” You chuckled. Gripping the strap of your backpack tighter.

“Perfection is the world,” Crockett praised you. Making you stop walking. Turning around to face him. Crockett turned his body to face you. Giving you a charming smile.

He quickly leaned down. Pressing his lips against yours passionately, taking you by surprise. you quickly pushed him off you. Looking at him with a shocked expression.

“I have a boyfriend,” You gasped out.

“Oh,” Crockett added. Looking heartbroken.

“It’s not that I don’t find you attractive or that you are undatable, it’s just I have…” You spoke, but Crockett cut you off.

“You have a boyfriend, I get it, sorry I kissed you,” Crockett spoke.

“Well, he is a lucky guy to have an amazing woman like you in his life,” Crockett spoke again.

“Yeah, water under the bridge,” You spoke. Giving him a half-smile.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Crockett spoke, turning around and walking away, making you let out a sigh. You turned around. The sound of a gun being fired sounded out through the car parking lot.

You let out a gasp as something ripped through your body. You looked down at your stomach, seeing a large pool of blood. You didn’t even notice the bright lights of the car's headlights or the sound of a car coming towards you. But Crockett did.

He turned around quickly rushing over to you, but it was too late.

“Y/n,” He shouted, as the car hit you, your body hitting the windshield of the car with so much force.

He quickly rushed over to you, as the car speed away.

Cupping your head. You looked up at him with a shocked expression. Blood dripping down from your head. Breathing swallow. Looking down your body to see a bullet wound, and a pool of blood staining your shirt.

“Y/n stay with me,” Crockett spoke. As he looked at your pupils.

“Tell J….” You gasped out, chocking on every word. Making Crockett panic.

“Tell J what? Y/n, you have to stay with me, okay,” Crockett spoke.

You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head. Eyes fluttering closed.

“Y/n,” Crockett panicked. Picking you up. He quickly rushed into the hospital. Going straight to the ER.

Maggie looked up as she saw Crockett holding you.

“Baghdad,” Maggie instructed him. Crockett quickly rushed to Baghdad, placing you on the bed. Putting the pulse oximetry on your index finger. The machine immediately beeped loudly.

“Y/n,” Will gasped out. Rushing over to Crockett, Maggie. April quickly rushed into the room.

“What happened?” Will asked as he repositioned your head to put intubate you. Will intubated you while Crockett cut your shirt to see the gunshot wound.

“She got shot then a car run over her,” Crockett replied.

“Did it exit?” Will asked as he bagged you.

Crockett rolled, shaking his head. Maggie helped Crockett roll you to your side. Seeing no exit wound. Maggie and Will looked at Crockett with hopeful eyes. Crockett shook his head.

“I need an x-ray,” Crockett demanded. Maggie quickly got one of the techs to come in.

Crockett, Will, April, and Maggie looked at the screen. Feeling more anxious as they saw the results.

“She needs to go to the operating room,” Crockett spoke. They all nodded. Transferring you upstairs…

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。

Hank held onto his vest as he stood outside the building intelligence raided. Watching the guys, they bust get put into the back seat of cop cars.

His phone ringing. Hank grabbed his phone, looking at the caller ID. He quickly pressed the green button. Raising the phone to his ear.

“Hello, Hank, your daughter had an accident, we believe it was an attempted murder,” Sharon spoke. Hank’s face went pale, as he heard that. His heart thumping in his ears.

Hank didn’t hear the rest of what Sharon was saying. He slowly lowered his phone from his hand. Pressing the end button.

Hank looked like he was going to be sick.

“You okay boss?” Adam asked, noticing Hanks pale expression.

“I have to go to the hospital, it’s y/n, someone tried to murder her,” Hank spoke in a rush. Rushing to his car.

The whole teams face dropped into a look of concern. As they heard the news. Jay looked the most distraught out of all of them. Heart hurting. Eyes filling up with tears.

Jay quickly took off his vest, rushing to his truck.

“Jay where are you going?” Hailey asked. Following him.

“To the hospital,” Jay responded, as he got into the vehicle. Slamming the door on her and speeding off. The rest of the team giving each other looks. Hailey turned around to face them. Giving them a look of defeat.

“We should investigate,” Hailey spoke. Making the rest of the team agree. Getting into their cars and driving to the hospital…

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。

Jay rushed into the ER. Heart racing.

“Will,” Jay gasped out as he saw his brother at the nurse’s station. Jay rushed over to Will. Clinging onto Will’s arm. As he cried.

“Jay,” Will spoke, pulling Jay into a private area. Away from nurses or anyone who was listening in.

“Is she okay? What room is she in? What floor?” Jay asked. Looking at his brother with tear-filled eyes.

“Jay, she’s hanging in there, she’s in recovery,  you should go before Hank finds out you are here or at least calm your emotions before you enter her room,” Will spoke. Giving his brother a concerned look. Jay shook his head.

“I don’t care about that, she’s in a hospital bed fighting for her life,” Jay snapped. Making Will pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration.

“Jay, you’re not thinking rationally,” Will huffed out.

“Yes, I am, my girlfriend is lying there and I’m talking to you about keeping my emotions in cheek,” Jay shouted.

“Girlfriend,” Hailey gasped out. Making Jay turn around to look at her. He gave her an annoyed expression for eavesdropping. It wasn’t any of her business, and as much as he valued her as a partner and friend now wasn’t the time for her to act shocked about finding out he was in a secret relationship, he would deal with it later.

“I don’t have time for this, yes my girlfriend, I’m going to see her,” Jay grumbled, walking off. Hailey looked at him with a hurt expression.

Will gave Hailey a reassuring smile.

“He didn’t mean it, y/n’s in recovery if you want to see her or hank, can’t miss her,” Will spoke, as he left Hailey to do his rounds.

Jay stood outside of your room. Finding the courage to tell your dad he as in a relationship with you, and they were hiding it from him.

Jay inhaled deeply then exhaled. Grabbing the door handle and sliding the door open. Feeling like he got his breath knocked out of him as he saw you lying on the hospital bed. A deep gash on your hairline. Cuts along the top of your eyebrows thought there were butterfly band-aids on them. A cut on your lip.

“Hank, there is something I need to tell you,” Jay gasped out. Heart racing.

“Did you find the guy who did this to her?” Hank asked. As he kept his eyes locked on you. Holding onto your hand. Jay’s heart ached to hold your hand. But he had to tell Hank he was dating you.

“Y/n and I have been in a relationship for a few months now, we just didn’t know how to tell you,” Jay confessed. Hank clenched his jaw. Making Jay nervous. Hank let go of your hand. Carefully put your hand down on the bed.

He stood up, the chair scraping on the ground. Making Jay slightly flinch. Hank lunged himself at Jay. Punching him in the face.

“This is all your fault that she is laying in a hospital bed, one of your enemies or someone who hates you did this to her, maybe it was Angela,” Ha growled with venom in his voice.

“It’s just as much my fault as yours, you have made more enemies than me,” Jay snapped out. Pushing Hank off him.

“Hey,” Crockett yelled pulling Hank off Jay. While Hailey rushed to Jay’s side, Hailey pushed away from Hailey. Hank and Jay glared at each other…

Vanessa Rojas:

Vanessa held the side of your face as she deepened the kiss. Your hands grabbing the lapels of her jacket. Pushing her back against the locker.

The sound of someone clearing their throat made Vanessa and you pull away from each other. Looking at where the sound came from.

Eyes widening in fear as Vanessa saw your dad standing in the middle of the room with a displeased look on his face. Scowling at Vanessa. Vanessa gulped before speaking. Feeling slightly intimated.

“I’m not using your daughter as a steppingstone,” She spoke up. Making Hanks gaze intensified. Almost like he was glaring daggers at her.

“I love your daughter, and I would never use her to get ahead in intelligence,” She spoke again. Trying to sound confident but she was scared.

Hank gave Vanessa one last cold hard glare, before walking off.

“Do you think he hates me?”  She asked as she turned around to face you.

“He’ll get over it,” You replied nonchalantly. Making Vanessa give you a look of surprise at how calm you were acting.

“Trust me, if he wanted to kill you he would have done it by now,” You replied. Making her give you a dumbfounded look.

“So, you love me huh?” You spoke. Smirking at her. Her heart fluttering.

“Too soon, isn’t it, I know it’s too early to say I love you’s but…” She spoke. Only for you to cut her off by grabbing the side of her face and pressing your lips against hers passionately.

“It’s never too soon,” You spoke into the kiss….

Adam Ruzek: {this is a part two of Count Your Blessing}

Adam let out a groan, as he ran his hand threw his hair. Looking at the piles of paperwork he had to do. Ever since Hank found him in bed with you, he has been hard on him. Snapping at him.

“Dude, what did you do to Voight?” Kevin asked.

“Dated his daughter,” Adam responded. Letting out another groan.

“Y/n and you? Damn, I always thought y/n and I had a thing,” Kevin responded.

“Unless you value your job, it’s probably best to stay away from her,” Adam responded, making Kevin let out a chuckle. Adam turned to look at Voight in his office to see Voight on the phone. Looking distressed.

Voight quickly hanged up the phone. Grabbing his jacket and walking out of his office.

“Voight, you okay?” Kevin asked.

“It’s y/n, she’s been in a car accident,” Hank answered, tears pricking his eyes. Adam felt his heart tightening.

Hank quickly walked off.

“You okay?” Kevin asked, noticing Adam’s reaction. Adam gulped.

“Yeah,” Adam replied. Looking at the pc screen.

Kevin let out a sigh.

“Go, see her,” Kevin spoke.

“We aren’t together anymore,” Adam spoke. Making Kevin let out a small chuckle.

“But you still feel something for her, go see her, I’ll cover for you,” Kevin spoke again, making Adam sigh. He got up in a rush. Grabbing his jacket and putting it on.

“I owe you,” Adam spoke.

“Sure do,” Kevin replied. As Adam rushed down the stairs and out of the station…

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。

“Dad, can you stop babying me, I’m honestly fine,” You sighed, trying to sit up but he stopped you.

“You’re not fine, you have two broken ribs, a concussion, a deep gash on your forehead not to mention a dislocated knee,” Hank responded. You tried to suppress an eye roll.

“But I’m alive,” You sighed.

“Barely, when I came in you were barely holding on to life, I thought you were dead, that guy t boned you, your car rolled, you are lucky you are even awake right now, ” Hank shouted, tears coming from his eyes. Making your eyes well up with tears.

“Hey, sh,” Hank cooed, hugging you as carefully as he could.

“You just scared me,” Hank sniffled. Pulling away. Grabbing the side of your face.

“I didn’t see him coming, dad, he just came out of nowhere, and the light was green, so I went through it,” You sobbed. Hank wiped your fallen tears away. Anger bubbling up inside of him at the other driver.

“I promise you, that guy who hit you won’t be ever getting his license he will be hit with charges,” Hank spoke. Making you frown.

“Dad,” You gasped out, looking at him with slightly wide eyes. Your heart rate picking up.

“I’ll be back, I have to take care of something,” Hank spoke. Leaning down and pressing a soft kiss on your forehead.

“Dad, please don’t do anything stupid.” You spoke, as he pulled away and walked out of your room.

You slightly sat up. Cringing in pain. Your eyes widen in shock as you saw Adam.

“Adam, what are you doing here?” You gasped out.

“I had to see you,” He gasped out. Rushing over to your side. Grabbing ahold of your hand.

“You should go, before my dad gets back,” You gasped out, trying to pull your hand away from his but failing.

“Your hurt,” Adam gasped out. Inspecting your wounds.

“Adam now is not a good time,” You panicked. Looking over his shoulder.

“I just had to make sure you were okay,” Adam spoke. His thumb caressing the back of his hand.

“I’ll just text you when he leaves the hospital, go before he murders you,” You spoke. Trying to push him away again but failed.

“I can’t keep hiding this from him,” He spoke. Making your heart rate speed up more. The machine beeping.

“No, he will murder you, Adam, you can’t,” You gasped out. Giving him a pleading look.

“I can’t keep our relationship a secret any longer,” Adam gasped out.

“You bastard,” Hank gasped out. Pulling Adam away from you and throwing him on the ground.

“Dad, no,” You shouted, gaining the attention of nurses.

“I told you to break up with her and you didn’t, you snuck behind my back,” Hank yelled. Pinning Adam to the ground by his shoulders. Nostrils flared, eyes narrowing into slits. Mouth set in a thin line.

“Sir, you need to step back,” Security commanded, pulling Hank off of Adam, another security guard helping the other guard out.

Hank glared at Adam, then looked at you shaking his head in disapproval, making you cry…

Hailey Upton:

Hailey’s jaw tightened. Jealousy spiking inside of her as she watched some scumbag run his hands up your legs, getting a little bit closer to you, as you twirled your straw around in the glass.

“What a pig,” She grumbled, venom in her voice. Making Jay look up from the monitor. Arching an eyebrow at her.

“Y/n can handle herself, plus she would say the safe word if she was uncomfortable,” Jay spoke, looking back at the monitor, this only seemed to irritate Hailey more.

Hailey clenched her fists into balls. Feeling disgusted at the guy for putting his hands on you.

“I’m going to go in,” Hailey announced. Taking her headphones off. She got up, but Jay stopped her.

“Woah, she’s doing fine,” Jay spoke, grabbing her forearm. Hailey shook her head, shaking off Jay’s grip. She turned around to look back at him. Glaring at him.

“She needs me,” Hailey spoke.

“Hailey, if you go in there you will blow her cover,” Jay argued with her.

“Then I’ll go in as her backup,” Hailey snapped.

“Hailey,” Jay snapped.

“You can’t stop me,” Hailey growled. Getting out of the van. Walking into the bar making you slightly sit up.

“What’s wrong?” The guy spoke, looking behind him.

“It’s nothing, I just really need my fix,” You spoke.

“Doesn’t look like nothing, I think your one of those undercover cops,” He spoke. Looking at you suspiciously. This made Hailey nervous. She was close enough to hear and see what was happening. Hailey grabbed her gun, drawing it out.

“What’s going on why is Hailey in there?” Hank spoke, through the walkie talkie. Jay inhaled then exhaled, grabbing the walkie talkie.

“Hailey thought y/n was made, so she came in,” Jay lied, covering for his partner. Hank let out a grunt.

“It’s just the withdrawals, I really need a fix,” You begged.

“Maybe, you should get help,” He spoke, making you slightly panic.

“Well, if I get help then you wouldn’t have any business, not to mention I can get you, potential customers,” You spoke. Giving him a sly smile.

“As well as please you,” You seductively spoke, running your index up his arm. Making Hailey get jealous.

The guy smirked at you. Hailey glared at him.

“Not here, out the back,” The guy spoke. Standing up.

“drugs first before I go down on you,” You demanded. Grabbing his forearm.

The guy let out a sigh, grabbing a packet out from his back pocket. Handing it over to you.

“Thanks,” You beamed. Smirking at him. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Hailey came towards the guy. Grabbing his arm roughly and pushing him against the counter with excessive force.

“CPD, you’re under arrest, ” Hailey yelled. Pressing him harder.

“You bitch,” He growled looking at you.

“Don’t talk to her like that asshole,” Hailey snapped, grabbing his head, and turning it roughly to face her.

“You’re going along for a long time,” She snarled out. Pulling him up and walking him out of the bar.

Hank gave the guy a cold hard stare, as Jay helped Hailey out.

His cold stare turned into a look of worry as you came out of the door.

“You okay?” Hank asked you.

“Yeah,” You replied, handing him the bag. Hank took the small bag from you, letting out a grunt. Handing it to another cop who walked by him.

“Y/n, what’s going on between Hailey and you?” Hank asked.

“Nothing,” You replied. Giving him a convincing smile. But he knew better.

“Hmm, by her reaction it seemed personal,” Hank spoke. Holding onto his vest.

“She’s just worried about me,” You replied.

“So, was I but I didn’t go and rush in there,” Hank responded.

“Look, Dad, I really have to get to my job, you know as a firefighter,” You huffed out. Leaning up and kissing his cheek.

“Be careful,” Hank spoke. Making you smile.

“Always am,” You responded, walking off.

“I’ll get a statement from you after your shift ends,” Hank spoke loudly.

“Looking forward to it,” You yelled. Getting into your car.

Hank looked back at Hailey to see her watching you.

“Doesn’t seem like nothing,” Hank muttered to himself….

[sapphire-dreamsky]

Past, Present, Future

Starring: Yuuji Itadori, Nobara Kugisaki, Megumi Fushiguro, Satoru Gojo, Reader, Sukuna

Pairing: Satoru Gojo/Reader

Warnings: Cheating is mentioned, Satoru might be ooc

A/N: I don’t condone cheating. I wanted this fic to be light and fun but it turned out a bit differently. I hope you enjoy it anyway! Also, in this fanfic, Satoru was an a** when he was younger.

It was not their fault they thought their sensei was single. While beautiful, Gojo was so immature that it was hard to imagine him with someone. This person deserves a trophy for being able to put up with the ball of energy and immaturity that was Gojo Satoru. Besides,...after the Kyoto Goodwill event, they heard some...ahem...interesting rumours concerning the white head. Apparently, their beloved idiotic sensei cannot settle down. There were so many rumours surrounding the strongest; some were hard to believe because of their level of ridiculousness, others were not so hard to believe because...well...it is Gojo Satoru. He could make anything possible. One of them, while ridiculous, seems highly probable. It was Utahime-sensei who told them about it when they pestered her about Gojo-sensei in his adolescent years. They wanted to be able to relate to him a little bit more. What they heard though, left their mind reeling with questions.

"Gojo-sensei dated more than twenty girls in a month?!"

That sounded so ridiculous, cruel, and impossible. However, Utahime was not one to lie or slander one's reputation like that. Even if it was someone as annoying as Gojo. After that, they were unable to picture their sensei as the type to settle down. It was just impossible. Even if that little anecdote was years ago, as Megumi specified to his friends. It was possible that Gojo changed and was not the same man anymore. But the other two’s minds were set on the fact that their sensei is a player. Or a serial-dater. Although, they have yet to catch him in the act. As of right now, they haven’t seen Gojo with anyone. Maybe Utahime did exaggerate his reputation a little after all. But their curiosity was already set. They wanted to catch their sensei in the act. So, they decided to trail their sensei when the latter was seen heading out in casual clothing and his horrible out-of-style glasses. Kugisaki sighed in despair when seeing the infamous pair of glasses on his face. She was persuaded that he couldn’t be heading out on a date with this offending accessory. 

Low and behold, they were able to trail Satoru without getting busted yet. Their training with the second-year students must have paid off! Or so the three ‘spies’ thought. Truthfully, Satoru noticed them a while ago. Actually, it was as soon as they left the school. But he thought their little game was amusing so he let it go on. After all, it wasn’t like he was trying to hide where he was going. If he was, he would have teleported to the alley near the cafe he loves to go to. Just thinking about the cafe and the sweets which they sell makes him salivate. He couldn’t wait to go and try out the new Friday special. So, with a new spring in his step, completely forgetting about his poor students who didn’t have long legs like his, he practically jogs to his favourite cafe, the new sweets calling for him. The three students curse as they are forced to practically run to catch up with their excited sensei. In their mind, Gojo was late as usual, and to not make his date angry, he was hurrying to their meeting place. An angry woman is scary. The proof of that statement lies in Kugisaki and Maki-senpai. Both were scary when angered.

The little cafe was quiet. There were not many people dining in. In fact, it was a perfect place to have a date in, Yuuji noted. Particularly if you don’t want to get caught dating multiple girls at the same time. Luckily for the three of them, the windows were see-through. They could easily see inside as their sensei plops down on one of the comfortable seats. Immediately, a waitress comes and takes his order. Yuuji and Nobara squint as they try to somehow decipher the exchange between the waitress and Gojo. 

‘‘Do you know what they are saying?’’

‘‘Of course not you idiot! They are too far.’’

The only proof of Gojo being on a date will have to be to see someone sit across Gojo then. The three of them desolate over that fact. Knowing their sensei, it could take forever before they realise he is, in the end, not on a date. 

‘‘I don’t think he is on a date.’’

Nobara and Yuuji look at Fushiguro with question marks on their head. The latter sigh, before pointing at their sensei.

‘‘If he was on a date, I think the date would have been waiting for a while now. No matter the circumstances, Gojo-sensei is always late.’’

‘‘Don’t you think he would try to make an exception for a date?’’, Yuuji ponders.

‘‘If he is dating around, I don’t think so. He could care less if he is on time.’’ After that, Nobara and Yuuji fell silent. They were losing their time after all. Sad and looking like kicked puppies at their failed mission, they were ready to head back to the campus when they noticed a young woman watching them with inquisitive eyes. 

‘‘Ah, uh, we were...uh’’

Yuuiji was not making any real sense as he tried to explain why they were hiding behind the bushes in the park. He quickly relaxes as she lets out a little laugh. ‘‘I see. So you are these guys then.’’ Before they could question her on what they mean, she continued. ‘‘Do you want to come to the little cafe? It’s on me.’’ 

That offer sounded suspicious but they were jujutsu sorcerers in training. They were sure they could handle a civilian. She doesn’t seem to have any curse energy. And if she was indeed linked to the group of curses after Yuuji, they could always count on their sensei who was currently typing on his phone. The woman’s phone went off at the same moment. Multiple arrays of texts follow each other. They felt sympathy for her phone as it seems to be getting bombarded by numerous texts. All of which she ignores as they follow her to the cafe. 

The inside of the cafe was as nice as they expected, if not much better. The smell of coffee and sweets was overwhelming but in a good way. Their sensei was seated at the far back of the cafe, meaning if they were noticed, they were screwed. They couldn’t really find any explanation on why a stranger would invite them in a cafe. One that is coincidentally the same as their sensei. Before they could steer away from the back though, the woman grabbed their shoulders and gently pushed them towards where their teacher was sitting. The latter was frowning at his phone, typing some more before the woman made her presence known. 

‘‘I’m here. There’s no need to send me multiple messages again.’’ 

Rolling her eyes, she pushed the three frozen students in front of him. ‘What is happening,’ is the only thought ringing in their minds as their teacher waved at them, grinning widely.

‘‘Oh? You found my beloved students?’’

‘‘They were hanging around in the bushes. You could have invited them in, instead of just sitting and dreaming about all the cavities you will get.’’

The woman sits in front of their teacher as the three young adolescents sit near her. They didn’t really understand the peculiar situation anymore. ‘Was this woman dating sensei?’ ‘She is far too nice to be dating him.’ ‘Oh no! She must not know about sensei’s reputation!’ These were the thoughts that simultaneously rang in their heads. One thing for sure, they had to warn her. She was nice enough to invite them on their date, they felt that she didn’t deserve the heartbreak. In fact, no woman deserved to be heartbroken by the cruelty of their sensei. 

The couple were discussing their respective days while waiting for the sweets Satoru ordered earlier. Both seemed to be on good terms, laughing at each other’s jokes. They were in all, having a good time. Yuuji felt guilty. What if in the end, Gojo-sensei was serious about her? But knowing their sensei, he had so many secrets that they felt they must at least tell her about Gojo’s habits. 

‘‘So...Uhm...Miss?’’

‘‘Ah. How rude of me! I didn’t introduce myself, did I? I’m (Y/N). You can just call me that. I don’t mind.’’

Her smile was so sweet that Kugisaki felt it was her duty to kick Gojo if he was indeed playing around.

‘‘How did you two meet? Are you a sorc- oof’’

The kick in the angle was by Megumi. The gloomy boy glared at Yuuji while drinking his drink silently. 

‘‘Funny thing is, we actually met when we were in high school. I didn’t go to that fancy school of yours though. I went to an all-girl school. I was in dire need of some sweets when we ran into each other and I spilled his drink. All over myself.’’

She glared at Gojo who only smiled innocently. He was not innocent, however. The students knew why the drink was only spilled on her while he remained spotless. 

‘‘And then did you start dating since then?’’

‘‘No. I hated him.’’ 

That statement did not surprise any of them. Gojo feigned hurt while he clutched onto his shirt. 

‘‘How could you hate me?! I am as sweet as a strawberry cake!’’

‘‘Maybe if someone poisoned it. Then yes. You would be the strawberry cake.’’

The students watched them banter back and forth. 

‘‘Then...when did you start dating?’’

‘‘Hmm...When did we start dating Satoru?’’

‘‘After I declared my love for you during our third meeting anniversary of course!’’

The students sweat-dropped. That sounds like something Satoru would do. 

‘‘But then...what about all the girls Utahime-sensei said you were dating? The twenty girls in a month?’’

Both Megumi and Nobara froze. As soon as the shock from Yuuji’s bluntness faded, they stomped on his feet. He winces at that. Even Sukuna, who didn’t mean to spy on them, but was curious about the annoying sorcerer let out a sigh at the lack of tack of his vessel. 

Satoru’s smile seemed frozen on his face. Nobody moved as they waited for the young woman’s reaction. The waitress brought in the sweets at that exact moment but no one dared to dig in the delicious food. Finally,

‘‘Oh, that. Yeah. I knew about it. Although it wasn't really twenty. It was five girls. He thought he was so slick with it too. He dated one of my ex-friends. I’m pretty sure you forgot about her though.’’

‘‘Ah...uh...I can’t remember…’’

Satoru seemed sheepish and awkward. Such a strange and alien sight of their always composed sensei.

‘‘Of course, you wouldn’t. You dated so many people I’m surprised they never found out. I would have slapped you if I was one of them. You got off easy.’’

(Y/N) drinks her coffee as if what she just said was a mere comment on the weather.  Satoru glances at his girlfriend every now and then while Yuuji was feeling awful. 

‘‘I am so sorry Gojo-sensei, (Y/n)-san! I shouldn’t have brought it up!’’

The female cocked her head to the side, throwing a slight smile in his way. 

‘‘It’s fine Itadori-kun. It’s not like I wanted to date him back then. I told you, didn’t I? I hated him.’’

This time, it was Kugisaki who was curious.

‘‘Then, how did you and sensei date? He dated your friend right?’’

(Y/n) shrugged carelessly, digging into her cake with her fork before thrusting it in Satoru’s face. The man was far too silent for his own good.

‘‘It was into our second years of being frenemies. He was awful as you must have heard. He was a true player back then. But then, mysteriously, he cleaned up his act. He broke up with my friend and seemingly with the other girls too. I didn’t see him hanging around the city with any girls for a good year, nor did he get any calls from any one of them when we hanged out. After all of this, my friend, the one who dated him, came to meet me after class and started shouting at me. Apparently, Satoru was in love with someone for real and after some digging, she came to the conclusion that it was my fault since I knew him as well. For her, I was jealous and tried to seduce him. It was a ridiculous and frivolous idea. Or so I thought. Because a year later that dork comes and tells me he loves me.’’

Yuuji and Megumi were in awe. So, their sensei really did go and date multiple girls at once? 

‘‘How were you certain he would never cheat?’’ This time it was Megumi asking the question. Surely, you must have had some reservations about dating such a character.

‘‘I was unsure of it too at first. I rejected him and stopped talking to him. He was persistent and wouldn’t stop. So I agreed to one date, which turned into multiple ones. As of now, I haven’t caught him cheating. But if he does, then I will get sad and leave him. I can’t stand cheaters. What he did is disgusting, but people do change I guess. That is, only if they really want to. A lesson for you kids. Don’t go and date someone who is horrible to you and think you can change them. In the end, only they can change themselves. They are not worth your time if they are stubborn and refuse to see the wrong in their actions.’’

She reaches over to squeeze Satoru’s hand. The latter was still quiet about it all. The silence continued even after the kids’ excused themselves, having been called back to the school by Nanami.

‘‘Aren’t you going to finish your cake? It’s your favourite, you know?’’

‘‘You know I would never cheat on you right? I was young and dumb and an asshole. And while I can’t take it back or apologise enough, I would never cheat on you.’’

(Y/n) only smiled at that. ‘‘I know. You have changed. You are not that guy anymore. You can’t change your past, but you can change your present self. I’m glad I met your students. They are a joyful bunch. When we have children one day, I hope they will be like them.’’ 

Satoru grinned, slowly reverting back to his old self. ‘‘I don’t know. I was thinking another me would be perfect.’’

‘‘If our child turns out like you, I’ll fear all my hair will turn as white as yours, dear. Now finish your cake. I want to go and check out that pet store you mentioned.’’

‘‘Right away, vanilla bean!’’

‘‘What did I tell you about nicknames Satoru?!’’

[jekunitrash]

A very short one-shot for Jeje and Mikuni's birthdays

I know I'm late for Mikuni, please just consider the story is taking place on October 1st.

Mikuni wasn't fond of parties. Not anymore, at least. There used to be a time when the manor got pretty lively on this particular day. But now, even though he wasn't there to witness it, he could imagine it was but a plain and normal day at the Alicein mansion. Of course, he'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy all the attention, the presents, the praises, and everything that came along with celebrating his birthday. It was just... something he could live without. Compared to the other, more considerable losses, this one was irrelevant. Laughable, even. And yet, it was at this very moment, that Mikuni felt the loneliest. It wasn't the celebration in itself he missed, but the people who were there to take part in it. People he loved and couldn't see anymore, people who had loved him in return and couldn't anymore. For quite various reasons, but the conclusion was the same. His deceased mother could never wish him happiness again, and neither would Misono nor his father.

Today could have been a delightful day, but all joy had died that night, as well. Celebrating had become meaningless, worse, it would be painful more than anything. From now on, Mikuni's birthday would be a regular day. That was what he wanted.

So why did his chest hurt so much? He had come to terms with his past decisions, since then. He'd known about the consequences. He preferred it being like this, a hundred times more than what could have been. But it still hurt. Maybe because this date was special, maybe because he only truly realized now all that he'd lost. Perhaps it was because he knew no one could make today the same as before, too. For all of those reasons, Mikuni felt empty like he hadn't felt in a while.

Then, he remembered a conversation he once had with Tsurugi. About being jealous of him. Obviously, the blond had denied it. What could he possibly envy about the raven? His situation was just as bad, if not worse than his. But as of now, it did feel like jealousy. Tsurugi may not have the best life here at C3, but he at least had Touma and a few friends to think about his birthday. Mikuni didn't even have that. It was such a pathetic thought, but it was true nonetheless. Tsurugi had something Mikuni didn't. And he sometimes hated him for it.

Jeje turned around upon hearing someone sneeze, and sighed when he saw it was only Tsurugi.

"Tissues... on the table...you should... dress warmer. Fall... is already here."

"Sure, thanks, Jeje-chan!" The man said, hopping on a chair. "This mission was so boring, I couldn't wait to come back. Where is Kuni?"

Jeje swayed from one foot to another, visibly uneasy.

"He is still... working. He said... he wanted calm and... silence."

Tsurugi downright pouted, a childish mannerism to express his disappointment. "Heeeeh, is he for real? Today is his birthday, though. Where is the fun in filling out paperwork?"

The vampire fumbled with his sleeves. "I don't think... he is... looking forward to his... birthday." He muttered, and Tsurugi noticed the hint of guilt in his voice.

"Well, for starters, did you wish him an happy birthday? That could help." He said, a brow raised.

"He... probably... doesn't want to hear it from me..."

The raven leaned forward, his elbows on the table and his chin resting on his hands. He looked irritated somehow and that sure was something new.

"Jeje-chan, that is, how should I put it? Yeah, you're being stupid."

The taller man was about to get irritated as well, but Tsurugi went on.

"Look, what I'm saying is, you can't know how he feels nor what he wants if you don't ask or try. Kuni-chan has no one besides you to remember - well, I happen to know because it's written on his registration - but anyway, of course it would make him happy to hear it. That's only natural. Even if he denies or try to hide it behind a facade, he has a heart. And he's too sensitive for his own liking."

Jeje bit on his lower lip, pondering on what the raven had just said. He knew his eve had been moody since this morning, just as he knew his family's absence, today of all days, was weighing on him. He just felt like it wasn't his part to play.

"Even so..." he began eventually, "I can't replace... his family. It will never... be the same, for him."

Tsurugi was quiet for a moment, as for once, he was thinking of the best way to say things. It was soon obvious what he should tell Jeje.

"Okay, you may be right. It will indeed never be the same. But it doesn't have to be such a bad thing. What I mean is, from now on, what you have to do is to make it as good as you can. And then, little by little, you will both get new habits and find a way of your own to celebrate it. Kuni-chan... he's stubborn, and I'm sure he can be resentful, but he has a sense of what's right and what's not. So it's unlikely that he hates you to begin with. Therefore, being wished a happy birthday, even if you're not best friends, would still make him a little joyful."

Silence followed his statement. Jeje couldn't argue against that, as his analysis of Mikuni was so sharp. He was admittedly impressed, since Tsurugi always acted like an idiot. He hadn't thought he could have such a good understanding of people. After being stared at insistently for a solid thirty seconds, Jeje resigned himself.

"Alright... I will... talk to him."

The raven smiled like a contented child, his arms proudly crossed on his chest.

"Good, good!"

The afternoon was near it's end when Mikuni got it over with, not that it mattered. All he wanted was for this day to finish quickly, so maybe the one after he would forget about it already. It was so frustrating. He knew there was nothing he could do to change anything now, but it was bugging him nonetheless. It was as though a little, pestering voice kept reminding him, 'hey, you're all alone for your birthday. You ruined everything, so this is entirely your fault, tough'. And at this point he was tempted to go to sleep if it meant it would shut up. It would most likely have to wait, if the knock on the door was anything to go by.

He'd be lying again if he said he wasn't a tad bit surprised to see Jeje.

" What? I said I needed calm, didn't I?"

While it was far from an engaging start, his tone wasn't as spiteful as he had meant it to be. He had mostly sounded tired.

"I know... but you've been here all afternoon and... I thought you should... take a break." Jeje mumbled, which made Mikuni look at him quizzically. He had never acted out of his own initiative before. Rather, he had never gone against his eve's indications.

"Oh." Mikuni said, "Well, there is no need anyway. I'm done."

"That's... good."

Well, now it was awkward. Mikuni wasn't too sure, be it because of the fatigue or the unrealistic side of the situation, but was Jeje acting shy?

"Yeah, I guess." He spoke, "If that was all-"

But, unexpectedly enough, Jeje wasn't done, and Mikuni stopped midway after hearing a distant voice.

"Ha..."

The blond eve frowned, Jeje was being so weird and he had no idea why. Plus, he wasn't in the mood and it was beginning to annoy him.

"What?" He asked, and this time the vampire straightened his posture a little more.

"... happy birthday."

Mikuni legit blinked, his mouth slightly open in disbelief. "Huh?" He genuinely thought he had misheard, that he was imagining things. But his servamp surprised him even more by repeating that sentence. Louder, and firmer.

"Happy birthday, Mikuni."

The eve closed his mouth, opened it again, and in the end closed it. His troath felt dry for some reason, and his chest stinged in a manner that was oddly familiar. It was a strange warmth that spread and that he used to identify as joy.

Jeje was standing here, perfectly still, apparently waiting for an answer of sort. The way his mouth formed a line indicated that he wasn't too sure of what to do next, and Mikuni himself would have liked a notice.

At last, the only logical thing he could do was to thank him, and even then, he had trouble to process it. The embarrassed mess who spoke was totally not him, either.

"Oh, yeah. Right. Thank you."

Jeje seemed to relax afterwards, but it was still strangely tense. Mostly because Mikuni had a hard time believing it had happened. The vampire tried to think of a normal thing to do in this situation, or remember something the Alicein used to do on their birthdays. But then he recalled that Tsurugi had adviced to do something new, and decided he should just ask his eve at this point.

"So... Is there something... you want to do? Or eat?"

Truthfully, Mikuni's face was priceless, and perhaps someday he could even laugh about it, but not now. Right now Jeje was relieved, above all things.

"Some good tea would be nice, I suppose." Mikuni said eventually. "Also, a midnight stroll in the park. And why not cake, but I'm not going to eat it by myself, so... "

It was Jeje's turn to be started, and despite not being fond of sweet things, he couldn't turn down the offer.

"I... see. Then... I'll... have some. If that's... okay."

And then, Mikuni smiled for the first time in months.

"That would be alright."

Jeje poured a second cup of Ceylan tea for his eve, while the latter cut the small cake they had just bought. Tsurugi's present had been to negotiate a night out of C3 base without surveillance, and it was admittedly the best. Mikuni had cringed upon having the raven pester him about his birthday, of course, but his soft expression later on had told Jeje that he was thankful. The servamp could feel himself smiling, ever so slightly, as he put the cup on the table, and he was glad for the way it had all played out in the end. Mikuni was indeed loving his birthday, in a way, despite everything, and it was all the vampire could ask for.

It was when they were coming back from their walk, couple hours later, that Mikuni asked him out of the blue.

"By the way, Jeje. When is your birthday?"

Then again, it startled him. For one thing, no one had asked him that in a long, very long time. And for another one, he had stopped caring since he had become an immortal monster and had incidentally forgotten about it.

"I... don't know." He replied simply.

Mikuni hummed, and when the clocks indicated one minute past midnight, arbitrarily declared,

"In that case, your birthday should be today".

[selfilluminatingkyu]

Dancing with the Devil(s): Chapter IV

Previous|Current|Next

F!Reader x Adult Trio; this takes place during the same timeline as Season 3 of HxH but the events with Kuropika and the crew are just shifted a little. Things will align back up within the next couple of chapters.

Warnings: Subtle Mentions of Torture and Abuse.

Word Count: 3.1K (She a lil short) 

As the name rattles off of Hisoka’s lips, you furrow your eyebrows. Is he someone you know? Is he someone you should know? A thousand thoughts run through you head in the span of a second and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that there is a reason behind why Hisoka would ask you whether or not you knew someone. 

You also weren’t completely insufferable in your lack of underworld knowledge. You knew who the Zoldycks were. Had heard many of the wealthy families mention the name before. Wealthy families got to where they were not because they didn’t deal in shady things…they just happened to have enough money to pay someone else to do it for them…and keep it from ever tracing back to them. 

You remember being at a gala not to terribly long ago. The patriarch on the family hosting the event had left midway through to speak to an older man with grey/white hair. You’d gone to the bathroom when he’d walked out of the office with the other man—who’d looked extremely pale and weathered as compared to when they’d left. You’d smiled and apologized, telling them you’d gotten turned around on your way back to the party, and the man with the grey/white hair, Zeno Zoldyck you’d come to learn, had simply smiled at you before nodding to the host. The other man had disappeared out of view and the two of you were left alone.  

“My, my you have grown into a beautiful young woman since the last time I saw you y/n.” He’d said and you could only blink, registering quickly the sheer power rolling off this man. There was no malice behind it, nor intimidation effect, it was simply him. 

“I’m sorry sir, and forgive me for being rude, but do we know each other? I don’t recall ever having met you before.” You said, smiling softly but anxiously, wracking your brain for anything to give you a clue as to not incur your mother’s wrath for forgetting a powerful man’s name and presence. 

He chuckled, walking closer to you, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. “No need to worry dear, we’ve never met before per se, but I do know who you are. I’m well aware of your parents’…pursuits. Your name has come up in conversation before and the last time I saw you or a photo of you, you were quite small. Maybe no older than 10 or 11. I was merely making an observation.” 

You smiled again and nodded you head, understanding and yet feeling embarrassed and ashamed that you probably looked no better than a filly up for auction, because truthfully…you weren’t. 

“Oh! Well it’s nice to meet you—” 

“Zeno, Zeno Zoldyck. And it’s nice to finally meet you as well y/n y/l/n. And I’m sure this won’t be the last time we see each other.” 

Thinking back on that situation now, back on the first time you ever met Zeno, you wondered how exactly it was your name had ever befallen the ears of the Zoldyck patriarch. Regardless, to be asked about a Zoldyck was odd, even coming from Hisoka. 

“I know of the Zoldycks, I’ve met Zeno a couple of times. But I’m not well versed in the members of the family. Is there any particular reason why you ask Hisoka?” You ask, thinking it over more as you answered, wondering where the missing link was in your knowledge. But when you looked up, in that moment, when the words had only just left you mouth, the look in Hisoka’s eyes made you think that not knowing may have been a small grace than a hinderance. And in that moment, you were somewhat grateful the water was already growing cold, because the shock of chill that ran through the air wasn’t nearly as potent. 

The small seep of bloodlust in the air made you take in a breath and try to sink into the furthest side of the tub away from him. The hairs on your body stood up and gooseflesh peppered across your skin. You bit back the whimper that wanted to escape and instead looked at the imposing man before you with wide eyes. The shift in demeanor, you realized, was not direct at you but something else entirely. 

“Did you ever see the man you were initially going to be engaged to?” Hisoka asked and this made you pause because you had told Chrollo of your past but not the rest of the Troupe and you were certain that it was not information passed along to them as they’d been dismissed when the discussion had happened. 

Was this slip up intentional, to make you put the pieces together or had Hisoka’s apparently bloodlust caused his tongue to run away from him? If you were a wagering girl, and you really weren’t, you would’ve bet on the former instead of the latter. Hisoka was calculating and manipulative. You knew his interest in you had made you into a new toy to play with and this seemed like a twist in his play with you. Keeping this in mind, you responded accordingly. 

“Yes, once, late one night when I snuck into my father’s office. I wanted to see what he looked like. This elusive person who was supposedly going to be my husband. He was attractive, but I never was told his name because, for whatever reason, my parents ended up forgoing the engagement. I was never told why exactly, and it never dawned on me to ask honestly.” You chose your words carefully, watching him the entire time to gage the way he reacted. 

That wasn’t entirely a lie, it wasn’t also entirely the truth. You knew why you parents had never gone through with the engagement; the family, while incredibly powerful and wealthy, was part of the seedy underground and that didn’t bode well with their agenda. A family like the Zoldycks fit perfectly within that description you realized. Although, it was an inclining you’d had after the second time you’d met the Zoldyck patriarch and his son, Silva, the current head of the family and business. They’d been nice, familiar even, and they’d been assessing you. At the time, you hadn’t exactly been sure as to why, but you’d wondered if they’d been the family who’d been very adamant about marrying you to their eldest son. 

However, they thought had derailed when Zeno had made an offhanded comment about wondering if you’d be into younger men and you’d been utterly confused. Were they not them? Were you mistaken and they too were now interested after meeting you? You’d never truly gotten your answer though because the next time you saw them, it had been a strained meeting as you’d been their target. Why Zeno had come and told your parents that information instead of just doing his job, and risking his reputation in the process, had puzzled you even more. 

“HISOKA! Enough!” The roar from Phinks had startled you as had the slamming of your bedroom door. Curling in on yourself, you’d just managed to cover yourself before Phinks and Shalnark had busted through.  “Keep your bloodlust in check, it’s giving me a headache. And what are you even doing in here you pervy bastard? Leave the poor girl alone. You’re needed downstairs anyway, something’s come up.” 

Both blonde men gave you a quick once over, probably making sure that you weren’t harmed by the magician but nodding their heads towards the door. Shalnark gave you a smile and a wave before trailing behind Phinks. “Come on Hisoka, don’t want to keep the boss waiting.” 

Hisoka turned, beginning to move towards the door again before stopping. “Don’t think too hard on it little dove. We wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.” 

And with that he’d walked out, slamming the bedroom door behind him, leaving you utterly confused and feeling chilled to the bone. 

Was this Illumi Zoldyck guy your previous potential fiancé? 

Was there another member of the Zoldyck’s who had almost taken that roll instead? 

Or was Hisoka just trying to find out some sort of other information that you just weren’t able to see yet? 

You didn’t know the answer to those questions right now…but you were certain you were going to get them, whether you wanted to know or not. 

That night, you’d gone to bed shortly after you’d forced yourself to climb out of the bathtub. The water had grown cold, and your skin was pruning uncomfortably. The peace in which you had hope to find, even a sliver of, had never come to you, so you hoped maybe sleep would just be a void. 

And while you hadn’t been completely wrong, you also hadn’t been completely right. 

At first, you’d fallen asleep easily, not even the noises of what was taking place downstairs had deterred you from finding solace in the black abyss. However, that had apparently been short lived as a few hours later, you’d slipped into a nightmare.  

You were surrounded by people you didn’t know, and they were talking about you, looking down on you. It was then you realized that you were strapped to a table and that you had wires running from your body to machines. They didn’t appear to be normal medical equipment though, but you couldn’t say for certain that they were made out of nen either. Regardless, seeing the wiring connecting to your body and then to unknown machines left your blood running cold and your mind running a mile a minute as to how to get yourself out of this situation. 

“She’s extraordinary. Just extraordinary! With powers like hers…you could rule the world…could rule worlds. There is an unlimited number of things you could do and accomplish with this kind of power. Who knows where it stops!” The excited voice from beside you startled you. 

The small man in a lab coat and mask was standing closest too you, scribbling things on a clipboard as he looked at you in awe. You tried to ask what was going on, how you had gotten here, what he was talking about, but nothing came out. Not even a whimper and whisper of breath. You frantically looked around, trying to find a face, a friend, anyone you recognized and kept coming up empty. The faces were blurred, and your eyes began to strain. The sound of voices chattering and a machine clicking barely registered to you…

…but the pain certainly did.

Excruciating was putting it mildly and you quickly understood why you were bound, outside of not allowing you to flee your captors. The pain seared through even molecule in your body and those that it hadn’t even created yet. Your back arched off the table and your mouth dropped open in a silent scream. Your throat felt raw, like you’d done it before…possibly even several times before. The only thing that actually seemed to escape you were the tears from the corner of your eyes as the pain stopped and deftly you registered that the machines had stopped but the voices had picked up. 

What they were saying, you couldn’t tell. But as the noise kicked up tenfold, the pain did as well, and this time when you screamed…a noise came with it. 

“Y/n wake up! It’s just a dream! You’re fine. Wake up!” You bolted up right, screaming yourself hoarse as the pain creeped its way from fantasy into reality. It jarred you to the bone and without thinking you struck out at the closest thing, sending it hurling away from you in an effort to end whatever was causing you pain. 

What you hadn’t realized was that that “thing” in which you had sent flying had been Chrollo. Didn’t realize it was him till he was nearly striking the wall on the other side of the room, caught off guard by your sudden attack and the power behind it. It was also then that you realized there was an aura radiating around you and there was immense power coming from it. 

You looked to Chrollo wondering if he had always been this strong and had somehow been masking it. But looking at him, seeing the wild, almost gleeful look in his eyes, made you realize that the power was not coming from him…but yourself. 

“I need you to breathe for me y/n and focus on controlling the aura that’s around you. If you don’t get a control over it, it’ll continue to seep out of you, and you’ll pass out from the loss.” He spoke softly, walking up to you slowly like you would a terrified animal, afraid that in its fear, will lash out at you and go for your jugular. 

However, his tactics were a bit sabotaged when Franklin and Feitan came flying into the room, nen activated and ready to take on anyone who posed a threat. The hostile energy pouring out of them had your fear peaking again, the faces from your dream flashing before your eyes and the power in which you’d thrown at Chrollo was surging again, zeroing in on the new threats and detonating without so much as a blink from you. 

Both of their boys went flying as well, Chrollo, seemingly reading your nanosecond of a shift in body language, braced in anticipation, activating his own aura, and deflecting easily. As he seemed to watch two of his strongest members go soaring across the room as if it was no big deal, the look in his eyes seemed to increase tenfold and suddenly he was behind you, wrapping himself around you and smothering you face into his chest. 

“Shhh, you’re okay. They aren’t going to hurt you. No one here is going to hurt you little one. I promise.” He stroked your hair and while you realize the sentiment that he was going for, the affection left you feeling even more displaced. 

You could feel your body seemingly gearing up for another act and, despite still being unsure as to where these people lie on the spectrum between friend and foe, you did not want to hurt them anymore than you already had. With that in mind, you tried to even your breathing out; tried to think of a dam stopping the free flow of water, and all thing similar to keep yourself from exploding with aura again. And that, coupled with Chrollo’s continued words of assurance, seemed to do the trick, and stop up the free flow of energy. 

As the bubble around you seemed to smooth and flow but not run, you realized you’d started to sob at some point, the tears streaming down your face and a near continual stream of whimpers and apologies pouring from your mouth. Apologies to Chrollo for the initial attack, apologies to Franklin and Feitan who’d only come to make sure everything was okay. You didn’t know what was going on or how things had escalated so quickly but you were sorry and you hadn’t meant to hurt them. 

You weren’t entirely certain the message hadn’t gotten out clearly, if the pissed off look on Feitan’s face was anything to go by, but you weren’t entirely certain that hadn’t been there prior as the man seemed to wear a scowl frequently. 

“What…happened…?” Feitain asked and you could feel Chrollo shift, looking at them while maintaining the comforting stroking on your hair. 

“I’m not sure. I came up here to check on her when I felt a spike in aura and heard her crying out. I couldn’t sense another presence outside of her own, but we’ve met nen users capable of cloaking themselves before. However, when I came in, she was thrashing about, when I woke up her…the same thing that happened to you happened to me.” 

“Clearly not as hard though. You seem fine. I feel like I’m going to be sore for days after that power she just threw at us.” Franklin muttered rubbing at his arm and stomach. 

“Such…a…. baby…” Feitan muttered, earning a side-eyed glare from Franklin. 

“I wouldn’t say it was any less powerful, it was more like she registered who was in the room with her right as she threw the power out. I’m almost certain she did the same with you, and my presence so close by also muted her attack, afraid she’d hurt me in an effort to harm you two.” 

Franklin and Feitan looked from Chrollo to you and then back to Chrollo before looking at each other in disbelief. “You’re saying that wasn’t her full power?” Franklin asked, the shock and awe clearly evident in his voice. 

“That’s exactly what I’m saying. I can’t even begin to feel the depths of her power, let alone where it ends.” 

The words seemed to hang in the air, all three men seemingly having a silent conversation that you were not perve to, nor did you think you ever would be. You had known from the start, regardless of what degree of comradery you obtained with these people you would always be an outsider, never allowed to fully know the scope of everything. You’d never be told all of the details, never know the full extent of all of their abilities, never know the ins and outs of it all. And you did not mind that, not at the moment at least, because for what you did not know, you had come to understand that these were dangerous people, people that were probably on several hit lists and wanted by many…and you did not know if you ever wanted to truly be associated with them. 

While sitting in the tub, you’d come to the conclusion that you would use them to obtain the skills necessary to save your younger siblings…and that would be the extent of it. You were not a killer, did not fancy yourself someone who killed for sport or out of the desire to prove you were stronger or better than others. No, you did not believe your wants in life to align at all with those of the people in this group nor did you think they ever would. So you’d do what was necessary to be able to get your siblings back, to be able to protect them and keep them safe till they were capable of doing as such on their own. But once you’d achieved that goal…you were as good as gone.