#but to me the rest of her albums work better as a whole. who knows though perhaps sn tv will change my pov completely

[margaetyrell]

would people unfollow me massively if i say Better Than Revenge is easily one of Speak Now’s best songs

[srjlvr]

[ LET’S GET MARRIED ! ] — lhs <3

PAIRING. lee heeseung!student X femreader!student !

SYN. the uni is giving away free dorms! under one condition, in order to save your desperate broke ass student’s life, you’d have to get married. and who’d be the lucky person to marry you if not your childhood friend? no feelings involved of course!…..right?

GENRE. he fell first but she fell harder, basically being in denial for feelings at first, childhood friends to a married couple, fluff fluff fluff !

WARNINGS. mentions of getting married(obv), rest of enha and lesserafim’s yunjin & chaewon are in it too, mentions on having kids(no, there will be no kids here its nothing serious!!), mentions of food, being broke because of uni student life. (pls do lmk if i missed something!) || NOT PROOFREAD AND VERY POORLY WRITTEN!!

WORD-COUNT. 5.1k+ (damn!)

NOTE. this is me being extremely sorry for not continuing my heeseung smau by releasing a heeseung oneshot yay!! i actually got the inspiration from HAPPINESS (one of my fav kdramas!) please leave some feedbacks!! i really wanna know what you thought about it<3

when you were younger, you’ve made a wishing list to you in the future, as soon as you turn an adult.

three important wishes were ;

first, never go broke while being a uni student.

second, never get married before the age of 25.

third, never ever fall in love with your best friend since childhood, aka lee heeseung.

first one is already being a huge failure. younger you would be definitely disappointed in uni student you, not that you care that much, but being a broke student sucks.

“my parents are literally about to kick me out, i get that, i’m a 22 years old uni student who’s still living up their asses, they probably want some peaceful and quiet life” you smacked your head over the lunch table, both of your friends looking at you concerned.

“maybe it’s time for you to pay for the dor-“

“never! yunjin, tell her how broke i am”

“she has like 1 dollar in her bank account, she’s still taking loans from her parents” yunjin nodded and you rolled your eyes.

“you didn’t have to go that far”

“oh i did”

“oh i know! what if you just start working?” chaewon raised her voice a bit.

“i have no time!”

“excuses excuses blah blah blah” she mocked you.

“look at heeseung for example, he works in a part time job at the convenience store right next to uni” yunjin pointed out.

you searched through the lunch hall and found the one person you’ve been looking for, lee heeseung.

you’ve been stuck to him ever since childhood, with your mothers being the biggest best friends you’ve ever seen, it was pretty hard to not see him every day in your young days.

both of your mothers even got pregnant at the same time, and gave birth around the same time, you’re two days younger than him.

your photo album is full with pictures of you and him, and so are the hanged photos on your house wall.

your mother and his mother were your biggest shippers, forcing you both to hug each other and even wear matching clothes.

your elementary school memories are filled with heeseung next to you and the whole class shipping you two.

highschool days weren’t better either, guys who wanted to try a move on you were always so scared of heeseung, they were so sure you and him are dating, with the amount of glares they got from him it was really hard to think otherwise.

your highschool crushes rejected you, always giving the excuse of not wanting to be in a relationship, hiding the fact that heeseung warned them that if they’ll say yes he’ll make sure they never see a daylight again.

he was joking, really. he’s not the violent type, and he couldn’t really explain why was he feeling so jealous whenever he saw you confessing to a guy who isn’t him.

heeseung got used to watching you from afar and protecting you, and you got used to search him everywhere you go even in crowded places and having his company ever since childhood.

“hee!” you called and waved at him, he waved at you back with a smile on his face.

“i swear if i didn’t know both of you were childhood friends i would’ve think you’re a married couple or something” chaewon rolled her eyes and you scoffed.

heeseung continued his way to his usual table with his friends.

“thinking about ways to confess your love to her?” jake smirked and heeseung shook away his thoughts.

“hm? who?” he asked.

“it’s obvious who! don’t play dumb come on!” sunghoon playfully pushed the older one.

“we’re talking about Y/N! everyone in uni are talking about you, even those who know nothing about the two of you” jay remarked.

“there’s nothing between us, we’re just friends” heeseung shrugged.

“and i’m queen elizabeth” sunoo tsked.

heeseung rolled his eyes and began to eat, “you know, even if i did have a crush on her, why would she even accept my confession?”

“ohhhh~” his friends teased.

“it’s kind of obvious she likes you, we’ve watched her ever since we became friends with you, and the way she looks at you is just different” jungwon shrugged and ni-ki nodded.

“she’s always searching you in a crowded room, as if you’re her guardian angel and she only needs you in her life in order for it to be perfect” ni-ki then stole a few bites of heeseung’s meal.

“hey! not cool” heeseung scoffed and ni-ki giggled.

“it’s not bad to have a crush on your childhood friend, you know?” jake smiled, “sometimes all you need is a miracle” jay added.

“hey, let’s go on a work search for yo-“

“no no no yunjin not you too!!” you sobbed, “i have no time to work and i need to search for the cheapest dorm, a one i can actually afford as soon as possible”

“why don’t you just go and ask heeseung for help” chaewon shrugged.

“it’s not that easy, i don’t want him to worry about it too much, he works hard for his money too” you pout and they nodded.

“by the way! how’s the money for the uni dorms is going?” jake asked heeseung who was busy fighting with ni-ki over his food.

“i’m just a few shifts away from getting enough money, i’ll ask y/n to become my roommate as soon as— what?” he noticed his friends looking at him.

“y/n and you? being roommates?” sunoo teased.

“hey, me and y/n spent all our childhood together, my house is her house and her house is mine, it has been like that for a while” heeseung sighed and they all nodded hesitatly.

“still, you said y/n’s parents told you about her not being able to pay for the uni dorms, are you really willing to pay it all?” jungwon asked.

heeseung shrugged and took a bite from his food again, “it’s either that or she’ll get kicked out by her parents”

“you really are her guardian angel” ni-ki whispered.

“good morning! you have afternoon classes today right?” your mother woke you up with a smile smeared all over her face.

“mhhm” you hummed, still trying to adjust the bright sunlight that hit your face.

“i need you to bring some medicine for ms lee! she’s been sick and i bought her some things” your mother helped you to get up and shoved you a bag, “here”

“can you please just let me get—“

“you can get ready at theirs! quickly quickly go!” she pushed you outside of your house. damn, she really does hope you’d get out as soon as possible.

she was right though, heeseung’s house is your house, and your house is his. you have a few clothes and even a toothbrush at his house and he has the same at yours, getting ready there was never a problem to you.

a walk to their house is even less than 5 minutes so you weren’t worried about someone from your neighborhood getting a jumpscare and thinking you’re some kind of a zombie.

you took out the keys and opened the door, heeseung was sitting in the kitchen and eating his breakfast.

“don’t ask, been a rough morning, where’s mom by the way?” you asked him and he pointed at her room. you got used to call his mom your mom too.

you saw her sleeping so you left the bag and the medicine next to her, leaving a note saying good morning and instructions of how to take the medicine, as if she doesn’t know all of that.

“you have afternoon classes too?” you asked heeseung while getting ready. he was in his room, lying on his bed while playing some games on his phone.

“not really, i don’t have any class today” he chuckled.

“since when don’t you have any classes today?”

“ever since i decided that im too tired to go to uni”

you rolled your eyes and threw one of the pillows at him, “don’t be stupid! get up and get ready to go!”

he giggled and shook his head, “i’m joking, i took evening classes for today”

you pressed your lips together and nodded, you don’t know why but hearing him giggling always made your heart skip a beat, but you don’t have any feelings for him, like, at all. right?

afternoon classes started and before you knew it, it was already lunch time.

“y/n! you won’t believe it!!” chaewon shout.

“what is it?” you shout at her back even though you were sitting right in front of her.

“i found you a solution! you can get a free dorm!” she shout back.

“what!” you shout.

“can you stop shouting! for god’s sake you’re literally a 1 cm away from each other” yunjin, who was covering her ears yelled.

you and chaewon shared an eye contact and froze. yunjin is so scary when she’s angry.

“continue please” she coughed and let chaewon continue what she had to say.

“it might seem crazy what i’m about to say,” chaewon sighed, “the uni is giving away free dorms—“

“no way omg omg omg please tell me i’m dreaming this is not happening right now right this is not real righ—“

“under one condition!” she cut you off and took her phone out of her pocket to read the terms.

“in order to get a free dorm, you have to have at least one option applied ;

one, you’re younger than 18. two, you’ve been scoring A+ on ALL of your exams and three, you’re between the ages 18-25 and got married, or engaged” she finished reading and turned off her phone.

“but chaewon, i’m not younger than eighteen” you complained and rest your head on your arm who was lying on the table.

“nor scoring A+ on ALL of your exams” yunjin added.

“thanks yunjin, i needed that”

“always here to help”

“then you know what’s left” chaewon smirked and you sat up, looking at her with innocent eyes.

“no” you let out.

“oh yes”

“i have no one to marry to” you argued.

“yes you do!” yunjin replied.

“i do not!”

chaewon and yunjin raised a brow and crossed their arms, “you don’t?”

as heeseung entered the uni entrance, you ran towards his direction and stopped in front of him.

“y/n why are you still here—“

“let’s get married” you said it out loud in front of everyone who was around.

your surroundings suddenly became quiet and everyone was staring at you two, starting to whisper and waiting for heeseung’s answer.

instead of answering he grabbed your wrist and dragged you out of the entrance into a place in the garden next to the uni.

the walk there was making you so nervous and anxious, what if you were a bit too much? asking your childhood friend to marry you just to get a free dorm? are you that desperate?

when he finally stopped, he let go of your wrist and cupped your cheeks, looking straight into your eyes.

“what did you say?” he asked, his eyes looking for any sign or answer from you.

“i said, let’s get married”

heeseung could’ve swore his heart skipped a beat because he for real felt like he died at that spot.

“let me explain!” you said before he could respond.

“the uni are giving out free dorms to anyone who’s between the ages of 18-25 and is married or engaged” you sighed.

heeseung let go of his hold and sighed, looking down and closing his eyes.

you really didn’t mean that genuinely, did you? something in him really hoped you did.

“hee?” you asked, biting your lower lips, suddenly feeling more anxious than before

“sure, let’s get married” he chuckled.

you broke your second main wish on your list.

heeseung was just a few shifts away from getting enough money to get the both of you a place to live in, he could have told you that too, but he chose not to.

only crazy people would agree to this idea, you were so desperate that you actually just asked him to marry you, and he guessed he was one of those crazy people, because he had no idea why he said yes.

he had other way, without marrying you, but something about the idea of marrying you made him feel excited.

“i knew it i knew it! only crazy people would agr— wait what” you blinked a few times after you realized his answer.

“i said sure, let’s get married” he smiled softly and you were about to faint.

“no feelings are involved….right?” you hesitantly asked him, hoping he wouldn’t agree with you.

instead, he nodded slowly and hesitantly, “no feelings involved”

you regretted that sentence so bad because the day after, when he kneeled on one knee and held a ring out for you in front of everyone and proposed to you, your couldn’t lie to yourself anymore, you actually broke your third wish on your list a few years ago, you were in love with lee heeseung for years.

“y/l/n y/n, i have loved you ever since i can remember, i watched you grow up and grew up with you as well, i got used to being with you 24/7, i can’t see the rest of my life without you in it, will you make me the happiest man alive and agree to marry me?”

even though it was an act(according to you), it felt so real to the point where you cried and sobbed so badly, while putting on the ring he bought for you less than 24 hours ago.

it wasnt planned. the proposal wasn’t planned at all.

the plan was that you and heeseung will go to the uni secretariat and request an application for the free dorm since both of you are engaged now.

heeseung had no reason to put on this whole show and show everyone that you’re now engaged. you have no idea why he did it, and instead of getting angry at him, you fell in love with him even more.

it felt wrong, it felt not right.

but you didn’t care, you always knew your feelings for heeseung were somewhere deep inside your heart. you tried to push them away all the time, because there was no way your childhood friend, the popular boy in your highschool, the kid who grew up with you, had feelings for you.

you tried to deny your feelings but now you realized thrre was no use anymore, so you let yourself love him as much as you can.

it wasn’t the desperation that lead you to ask him to marry you, because then you’d ask literally any other guy, it was your pure love to him, to the guy who was always there for you when you needed him.

“heeseung! explain what was that!” his six other friends gathered in a circle, surrounding him and not letting him go.

“what was wha—“

“you and y/n? married?” jungwon shout.

“have you gone crazy?” jake added.

“and she said yes! something is not right” jay joined.

“yesterday you told us you have no feelings for her!” sunoo remarked.

“you didn’t even believe us when we told you she’s obviously in love with you” sunghoon tsked.

“something isn’t sitting right to me” ni-ki gasped.

“explain now!” they all said at the same time.

“calm down!” heeseung coughed, “i’ll explain to you everything later”

by later he meant after classes, at his house, together with you and your friends yunjin and chaewon.

“yunjin, chaewon” heeseung nodded at your friends.

“lee heeseung” they glared at him.

“come on! both of you knew about it even before” you pleaded.

“doesn’t change the fact that he’ll be stealing you from us now” they rolled their eyes.

“i’m still so confused” ni-ki tried to quicken everyone and get to the point.

“me and y/n are getting married—“

“yeah no shit sherlock” sunghoon cute him off and heeseung glared at him.

“anyway, y/n would you like the explain why?” he turned to you and smiled.

“the uni is giving away free dorms to married couples between 18-25 so—“

“you decided to get married to get a free dorm” jay finished your sentence.

“have you gone mad? heeseung worked his ass to get enough money to get the dorms for the bo— mhhhhmmm!!!” sunoo roamed but jake covered his mouth before he could continue.

“sunoo!!” jake coughed and turned to you with a smile, “don’t mind him he’s been stressed from work and uni lately”

the rest of you giggled awkwardly and tried to ease the atmosphere.

after you yunjin and chaewon left, the boys stayed with heeseung, looking at him with concern.

“what?” heeseung looked at them back with his bambi eyes.

“i don’t know hee, it feels like….she’s kind of using you” sunghoon spoke, jay slapped his arm and he whined.

“he’s right though, marrying you only to get a dorm is quite crazy” jungwon nodded.

“he’s even crazier for actually agreeing to all of this” ni-ki said and jake shushed him.

“ni-ki is right, i am crazy, i have no idea why i said yes but she wasn’t forcing anything on me” heeseung shrugged, “besides, i’ve liked her for so many years so—“

“ah ha!! we knew it!” they all said at the same time and heeseung sighed. what have he got himself into?

after everyone left, heeseung texted you, asking you to meet him in your usual spot.

you got ready and for the first time, you took a while to do so.

you stared at yourself in the mirror a few times and even checked different outfits. this has never happened to you ever before, especially not when you knew that you’re going to see heeseung.

heeseung saw you at your worst, why are you dressing up for him now then?

“i must be crazy, crazy crazy!” you shook away your thoughts and got out to meet your soon-to-be-husband.

“hee!” you saw his back facing you and as soon as he turned around you froze.

did he dress up for you too? why does he look so breathtaking suddenly? his bambi eyes match the rest of his beautiful features on his face so much, you’ve seen this man grow up, you know every detail about his face and you couldn’t explain why it was so sudden that you got caught by surprise because of his beauties.

shaking away your thoughts, you walked closer to him and smiled.

“hey hubby” you grinned.

“hubby?” he asked.

“a new nickname for my soon-to-be-husband” you chuckled and he nodded.

“i actually thought about something,” he turned to you, “our parents will figure it out sooner or later, should we tell them the truth or—“

“no, let them believe we’re getting married without any reason other than being in love”

you have no idea why you just said that. but you hid your face as soon as you realized what just came out of your mouth.

heeseung felt too flattered and suddenly didn’t know what to say. you keep on making him speechless.

“ahem,” he cleared his throat, “you do know that they’ll probably rush out things and even take the wedding plan to their own hands“

i don’t care, i’d like to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you as soon as i can. is what you wanted to say, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do so.

“y/n?” he asked. he noticed you were too deep in thoughts and waited for you to come back to sense.

“i’m aware” you nodded, “i’ve also got a text from the uni, we’ll be getting our dorm in the next week, so we should start preparing”

heeseung nodded and looked at you. you were suddenly feeling so nervous and shy to share an eye contact with him, so you broke it as he just kept staring at you and taking in your beauty.

“hey y/n” he said, “hm?”

“i don’t mind marrying you and spending the rest of my life being married to you”

you looked over him and he had the genuinest smile you’ve ever seen.

it felt like the world had froze, and the snow that was falling suddenly stopped, it felt like it was just the two of you in this whole world.

“YOU’RE GETTING WHAT?” your mother yelled.

you and heeseung planned a dinner with both of your parents, to announce the big news.

things became quite awkward between the two of you, ever since your last encounter with him you could barely face him.

his sudden confession freaked you out and the only thing that came out of your mouth was “oh, okay” in the most dry way ever.

you wanted to tell him you feel the same, you wanted to tell him that you’ve been in love with him ever since forever. but one moment that caught you off guard ruined your chance.

you were stupid, stupid and idiot. heeseung probably thinks you hate his guts now.

heeseung in the meantime felt like he was breaking apart slowly. oh, okay?? that’s all you had to answer?

he felt dumb, he felt hopeless. the confession was completely out of the blue and unplanned, your beauty hypnotized him and he was so mesmerized by you that the words just came out of his mouth naturally.

what if you hate his guts now? what if he made you uncomfortable? what if you’ll regret it the last minute because you weren’t feeling the same about him?

all of those questions were eating him alive, and you didn’t help either. each time he came up to you, you were suddenly in rush and told him you have to go, it was breaking him inside slowly.

the dinner was one chance to finally talk with you again.

“married, mom. we’re getting married” you repeat what you already said a few seconds ago.

“when? where? how?” heeseung’s mother asked.

heeseung looked at you and smiled warmly, “it just happened, we’ve been together ever since childhood, it already felt like being in a relationship for so long, so we decided to marry each other” he chuckled and held your hand tightly, “to belong to each other until the day we die”

your parents looked at the both of you. you were sharing eye contact for so long, with heeseung smiling at you, looking deep into your eyes, and with you looking at him with nothing but pure love in your eyes that was making everyone in the room feel so jealous of you two.

“now kiss!” your mother said.

you and heeseung broke the eye contact and blinked a few times.

“what?” you asked.

“kiss then! i want to picture it and keep it in my photo gallery forever!” his mother added.

you were about to speak up until heeseung held your cheek to turn you to face him and it was only a matter of seconds until you felt his lips on yours.

it was your first kiss ever, your first time kissing someone, and it was his as well, but he lead you on so good that it made it look less awkward.

you were his first kiss. you, his childhood friend, stole his first kiss.

“we knew that it’ll happen one day!!” your mothers cheered, “we even have a whole wedding plan ready!!”

you and heeseung broke the kiss and shared an eye contact again.

you didn’t need to hear him say to know how much love he holds for you, and how he cherishes you so much.

and your eyes told him everything, they held the answers to all of the questions that bothered him. you love him as much as he loves you.

“i can’t believe you’re getting married, my little angels” your parents cried altogether which made heeseung let go of his hold on you and grab some tissues to wipe their tears.

“i love that ring by the way! heeseung you did a great job” your mother gave him thumbs up and he chuckled.

if only she knew that it was a ring he bought you in less than 24 hours and even rushed your friends to come with him and help him pick it only because he wanted his whole life to properly propose you.

it was a moving day already and your parents helped you pack every last thing, they even cried through the way, how could their princess leave them so fast?

“you can visit our house anytime!” you tried to comfort them.

“we’ll update you before that, we don’t want to catch you while doing the thing you know” your mother winked and you rolled your eyes, “mom!”

“i see you’re all packed and ready” heeseung came in to check on you.

“she is! take her away already!” your mother complained.

“not before you take this with you!” she went away for a few seconds and came back with a huge wrapped photo frame.

“don’t open it yet!! only when you get into your new house and get everything in place!!” she excitedly hugged the both of you and you nodded.

moving in was quite rough, you had a lot of boxes to unpack and organized, and you and heeseung never felt more awkward after the first kiss you shared.

you’ve barely spoke with each other and your friends were starting to get concerned.

“he told me he doesn’t mind marrying me and spending the rest of his life with me” you pout.

yunjin and chaewon shout and giggled, “girl! he’s more than in love with you!! he’s lovesick!!” they both said.

“what did you answer then?” yunjin asked.

“i told him okay” you smacked your head on the table.

“no way” chaewon gasped.

“yes way” you whined.

“you’re stupid!!” they both smacked you.

“then!!” you shout, “we had our first kiss on dinner in front of our parents” you whispered that part.

“what did you say? couldn’t hear you” chaewon said.

“oh she said that they shared their first kiss on dinner with their— YOU HAD YOUR FIRST KISS WITH HEESEUNG??” yunjin’s eyes widened.

“what happened after that?” chaewon asked curiously.

“we just finished dinner, and now we barely even talk” you sighed, “each time i see him i’m just blushing and running away, i can’t face him!”

“you have to!! you’re moving in soon!!” yunjin argued and chaewon nodded.

“it’ll be the death of me” you sobbed and they chuckled.

you were right at first, but slowly and surely heeseung made a joke and both of you got back to normal in no time, as if nothing happened between you two.

you even helped him organizing his closet and his room, and he did the same.

after a long day you and heeseung finally laid down on your now shared sofa.

“it’s been a rough day” you sighed.

“should we order something?” he suggested and you nodded immediately. you ended up ordering your favorite food.

“let’s open up the picture!!” you said and grabbed the picture your mom gave you earlier today.

you and heeseung both unwrapped it together and revealed an old picture of you and heeseung hugging each other with a huge smile on your faces.

“look at us then and look at us now” he giggled.

both of you hanged the picture right above your sofa and kept staring at it for a while.

“hey hee,” you spoke, “yeah?”

“i wouldn’t mind marrying you and spending the rest of my days with you too” you turned to him, “until the day i die”

“is that your way of telling me you love me too?” heeseung froze for a second. you caught him off guard for the countless time already.

although he understood very clearly your feelings after you shared your first kiss, hearing your words made his heart beat fast.

it was a confirmation for him that all of his feelings for you were actually mutual all this time.

instead of answering his questions you grabbed his shirt and kissed him.

he put his hands around your waist and pushed you closer to him, holding you tightly as if he’s too scared to let you go.

breaking off the kiss was hard, but the lack of oxygen was kicking in, you pressed your foreheads together, still with your eyes closed.

“does that answer your question?” you giggled and you felt him smiling.

“i don’t think so, i need a bit more of it to feel certain” he teased and you tsked.

“i don’t need to be in a relationship with you to feel certain about my feelings and my willingness to marry you, i want to spend my life with you, i love you” you said and pecked his lips.

“i love you too, y/n” he pecked your lips again and it suddenly got into a fight between you two about who pecks the other more, until it ended up in a long, deep kiss.

“so let me get this straight. you and heeseung had been in denial for many many years and manipulated yourself into thinking that you don’t like each other at all at all, then when y/n’s desperate and broke ass heard of a chance to get a free dorm by getting married, she went up to you, heeseung, and asked her to marry you, you agreed to the proposal because at one point you stopped lying to yourself and realized you’re actually lovesick, and the rest is history” ni-ki finally breathed out after almost rapping this whole story.

“by history i mean y/n waking up from her denial and realizing her feelings to you” he added.

“yes, exactly” heeseung nodded and you chuckled.

you were sitting together with your friends on one table, yunjin and chaewon who were already aware of the story added a few notes here and there as ni-ki summarized your whole story.

“this is a story to tell your children” jay smiled and the rest nodded.

“we’re not planning to get pregnant anytime soon, we didn’t even have a wedding yet” you sighed.

“you never know y/n, you never know!” sunoo slowly nodded.

“why did you say that as if you went through something familiar” jungwon teased.

“you never know y/n, you never know!” sunghoon mocked sunoo.

“that was a good one!” jake laughed with him.

“children, literal children who found themselves in uni somehow” you sighed.

“at this point we won’t even need to have any children when we have them” heeseung agreed with you.

“it doesn’t matter, as long as i’m with you” you smiled and pecked his lips.

“get a room you two will you!”

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••• copyright © srjlvr all rights are reserved.

[imaginesig]

“Could someone give a message to the smallest man who ever lived”

pt2: "Ditch the clowns, get the crown / baby I'm the one to beat"

Lewis Hamilton x Reader

SMAU

The reader is a singer-songwriter who just broke up with long term fiancé Lewis Hamilton. Of course she wrote a gut wrenching album to cope.

This is gonna be a lot of shitting on Lewis— absolutely no hate! I just love a good heartbreak and the Tortured Poets Department

Also dates aren’t accurate bc I don’t have time to worry abt all that and I totally stole all of this from real life- not an ounce of originality

yn_ln

Liked by lewishamilton, mercadesamgf1, user28, and 928,928 others

yn_ln: pinky promise to always by your side 🏎️

Tagged: lewishamilton

lewishamilton pinky promise to always be by YOUR side

yn_ln ♥️

mercadesamgf1 always a pleasure to host our pop princess!

yn_ln always a pleasure to be hosted!!

user1 looks always kill in the paddock

user2 ugh to be in the F1 paddock watching my driver fiancee on weekends I'n not touring

user3 stunning!!

user4 the pinky promise makes me physically ill😭

user5 fr WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN

carmenmmundt gorgeous! Always a good time with you 🫶

yn_ln dinner soon?

carmenmmundt yes please!!

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lewishamilton

Liked by yn_ln, user2, mercadesamgf1, and 810,298 others

lewishamilton: could’ve been better but back to work for next week

Tagged: yn_ln

user1 being a Hamilton fan used to be fun, I used to be happy

user2 the second photo is so fanfic coded I can't

user3 omg yes!!

user4 maybe Ferrari will be championship #8

user5 hottest couple in the paddock

mercadesamgf1 watch out Australia 👊💥

yn_ln

Liked by lewishamilton, sabrinacarpender, user92, and 929,290 others

yn_ln: Argentina I’m so glad we were able to dance my best dress with you! Until next time 🫶🎇

tagged: no one

user1 BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE

user2 babe wake up a dancing Taylor post just dropped

sabrinacarpender such an electric crowd!!

yn_ln thank you for your hype work

lewishamilton: wonderful show once again!!

user3 best night ever

user4 AHHH STUNNING

user5 manifesting tickets so hard rn

lewishamilton posted a story

Caption: Help me hold on to you ♥️

ynupdates

Liked by user1, user5, user9, and 819,109 others

ynupdates: Superstar Y/n L/n and boyfriend Lewis Hamilton after her show in Argentina!!

tagged: lewishamilton, yn_ln

user1 LMAO the update account rlly said she's everything and he's just Ken

user2 the wine was iconic!!

user3 omg that's my photo!!

user4 we thank you for your service

user5 you know she was jumping with joy bc of those boots

user6 omg irl! I can't imagine how her feet feel after heels all show

user7 they are so sweet

user8 get yourself a man who takes you out after work

user9 my fav couple fr fr

Twitter—

yn_ln

liked by sabrinacarpender, carmenmmundt, user9, and 928,029 others

ln_yn: Round of applause for Brazil for their incredible rain show!!

tagged no one

user1 the first pic 😳

user2 chills, literal chills

user3 the entire vibes of the whole show was wow

user4 I agree and I was watching through a fuzzy live stream

user5 anybody else need illicit affairs (angry verson) on Spotify now

user6 me me me!!

user7 Y/n make it happen

user8 it kinda felt personal ngl

user9 best night ever!! I went as fearless in a gold dress and to say I danced in a storm in my “best dress” with Y/n was incredible!!

user10 omg that’s so lucky!!

yn_ln

liked by user92, sabrinacarpender, girlsinred, and 928,929 others

yn_ln: Thank you South America for welcoming me with open arms for this leg of the tour!! I will miss you all dearly over break but rest and relaxation is important for an awesome European leg!!

tagged: no one

user1 I’m gonna miss the fuzzy live streams 😭

user2 gets some rest Queen!!

user3 I can’t wait for the second leg!! Let’s go Europe🫶🫶

user4 it’s go time to get my Eras outfit

user8 I need ideas!!

user4 me and my boyfriend are going as Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince

user9 I’m dressing in a white dress with a small veil that says “fucked in the head” and messed up makeup bc champagne problems is one of my favs

user10 I love it!!

user5 anybody else sad Lewis wasn’t at these last few shows, nor was she at any races or seen near mercades home base

user6 they’ve been together for 6 years, I’m not worried abt them spending some time focused on their jobs without each other

user7 yea and they’re really private so I’m sure they’ll catch up plenty during her break

lewishamilton

liked by mercadesamgf1, user1, user8, and 928,292 others

lewishamilton: not the results we needed but that’s what growing is all about

tagged: no one

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lewishamilton

liked by georgerussel, mercadesamgf1, user83, and 718,292 others

lewishamilton: that’s P2💪

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mercadesamgf1 that's our driver!!🏆

georgerussell congrats man! bloody good driving today

lewishamilton double point weekend

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Twitter—

yn_ln

liked by user4, user9, ynhq, and 918,918 others

yn_ln: All’s fair in love and poetry, April 4th

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comments have been limited

Twitter pre-album release—

Twitter post-album release—

yn_ln

liked by: user433, user94, user93, and 282,209 others

yn_ln: surprise!! "The Tortured Poets Department: Eros" out now!! This edition includes two new songs, "So High School" and "The Alchemy"

tagged: no one

comments have been disabled

[strwbrryeyes]

☼ intro (end of the world) ☼ (kageyama tobio x reader)

⟡ cw: she/her pronouns used but not much, lmk if i miss anything else

⟡ a/n: i have been wanting to write for this album since the day it came out so im gonna do little drabbles for the songs as a way to make up for my lack of writings/requests that i actually need to upload so i hope you all enjoy it :3

⟡ eternal sunshine masterlist

You had been dating Kageyama Tobio for a little over a year at this point. Everything was always moving so fast…for him. While Kageyama was constantly playing volleyball and traveling the country for official matches, you were in college working towards your dream career.

Although you and kageyama have made so many efforts to keep in contact regularly by video calling and texting constantly or even travelling to see each other when possible, it has been difficult to come to terms with the fact that you do not spend as much time as you want to with each other. It has gotten to the point where you don’t know if keeping this relationship going is even worth it anymore. Both you and Kageyama want to get through it, you have had countless talks about wanting it to work out and you both always come to the agreement that neither of you wouldn’t trade anything for the world.

You think you’re meant for each other but you keep thinking to yourself ‘why dont i know that he is the one for me? Why do I only think it?’ but of course, you shake it off and continue on with the relationship. Even with all of these thoughts of figuring out if you are supposed to be with him for life or not, there are moments where the tough times make the good times worth it…and that is what keeps the both of you going. One of those moments was on your birthday a few weeks ago when Kageyama decided to surprise you with a visit.

☼ ⋆。𖦹˚⋆

After a long day of classes and your job at a doggy daycare, all you wanted to do was lay down in your bed with some comfy pajamas, eating chips without regard for the crumbs that would land on your bed sheets all while watching your favorite reality show. It was a pretty solid plan but it all went down the drain the minute you stepped foot into the hallway that had your apartment and saw that your door was opened. Your whole body filled with dread as you walked closer, worried that you had just been robbed but as you got closer you saw a small trail of silver confetti leading you through the doorway and as soon as you stepped foot infront of the entrance of your apartment, you stopped all of you belonging onto the ground and ran to the one thing that could be better than a lazy night. Your boyfriend.

“Tobio! What are you doing here?” you ask Kageyama as you jump into his arms while you become a giggling mess (who is also crying).

“I couldn’t have my angel be all alone on her birthday!” Kageyama chuckles as he embraces you in his arms but is quickly confused when you fall silent right after he finishes speaking. “[name]? You good there?” he questions you as he puts you down to be greeted with the blank expression on your face.

“My birthday..?” cocking your head to the side, you look behind Kageyama to see decorations all over your living area, eyes landing on the big ‘happy birthday’ sign. You had completely forgotten today was your birthday. 

“Babe, don’t tell me you forgot your birthday?” Kageyama laughs out before pulling you in for another hug “and you say i’m the dense one.” he flicks your forehead before kissing it and all you can do is laugh along with him.

The rest of the night was pure bliss as you layed in bed with your loved one, eating your favorite type of sweet from your favortie bakery down the stree, while watching your reality tv show.

☼ ⋆。𖦹˚⋆

Thinking about this small but memorable event, you can’t help but smile as it helps you become certain that you and Kageyama are meant to be. You now knew that Kageyama Tobio would be the first and last person you run to if the world were to ever end and honestly, as your pulled out of your thoughts by your ringing phone that is signaling you that your boyfriend is calling you, you wouldn’t have it any other day.

[smicksstuff]

heyy i’m here with another alejandro garnacho x sabrina carpenter face claim smau, if you’re taking requests🫶

could you just do a couple posts of him supporting him at his matches and him supporting her at her concerts please? thank you sm, love your writing!!

the remix | alejandro garnacho

pairing: alejandro garnacho x female!popstar

warnings: swearing

face claim: sabrina carpenter

summary: follow closely the lives of manchester united’s starboy and the queen of hearts. its never a boring day with them 😉

yn.ln

Singapore

liked by garnacho7, ybsf, taylorswift, and 1,693,627 others

yn.ln thank you singapore ! i will be back soon 💋

view comments

garnacho7 mi vida ❤️

yn.ln te quiero mi corazon ❤️

user1 6 nights arent enough !!! come back i want moree

ybsf never gonna doubt singapore again

yn.ln you best believe me next time

ybsf 🤞🏼

ana.pinho so proud of you mi nina ❤️

liked by yn.ln, brunofernandes8 and 890 others

rasmus.hoejlund when do i get tickets to your concert ?

yn.ln soon amigo

-

March 17th, 2024

yn.ln posted a new story

-

garnacho7

liked by yn.ln, marcusrashford10, amaddiallo and 986,772 others

garnacho7 its a day filled with big wins ❤️

view comments

yn.ln today has got to be the best day ever !! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ CMON UNITED !!!!!!

user my little scouse heart cannot handle it 😭 why does she have to be a united girlie

user streaming yn.ln to get over this heartbreak 💔

manchesterunited 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽 great to have you back yn ❤️

lucialoi united duo are back 💋

yn.ln never getting rid of us that easy

rasmus.hoejlund @/yn.ln since you are backkkkkk…..

yn.ln patience my friend, just landed less than 24 hours ago

user ngl hoejlund asking for concert tixs with no shame is such a mood

user girl if your besties girl is yn.ln i’d shamelessly beg for tix too

user @/yn.ln new music sooon ?

-

yn.ln

liked by garnacho7, facupellistri, selenagomez and 1,377,829 others

yn.ln its good to be home 🏠❤️

view comments

garnacho7 never letting you leave again ! 😠❤️

rasmus.hoejlund get a room

kobbie there are kids on this app

user SHE IS IN THE STUDIO ! I REPEAT: SHE IS IN THE STUDIO

user pls im begging i want a teaser

user album listen party planning in the works! whos in ?

user ☝🏼

user ☝🏼

user everyone is excited about yn in the studio but im more interested why ale is dressed up so nice for the camera

user OMG IS HE IN THE MUSIC VIDEOS ?

user the delulu is strong now

-

April 21st, 2024

yn.ln

liked by garnacho7, ybsf, lukeshaw, marcusrashford10 and 902,727 others

yn.ln WEMBLEY BOUND ⚽️❤️

view comments

garnacho7 THATS HOW WE DO IT ❤️❤️❤️

manchesterunited ❤️⚽️💪🏽

jackgrealish see you in wembley

yn.ln you can bet on it

jackgrealish no matter how it goes still friends yeah

yn.ln 🤔🤔🤔 ill think about it

user not jack grealish in the comments

user to be fair the two of them have been friends for ages. not surprised

user jacko probably ensuring he still got friendship status at her concerts

-

May 26th, 2024

yn.ln

liked by garnacho7, masonmount, and 1,839,378 others

yn.ln manchester is forever red ❤️🏆

view comments

garnacho7 ❤️❤️❤️❤️

masonmount damn the pictures came out great! please send the rest !!

yn.ln yes sir sending now 🫡

masonmount totally forgot about the whole espresso incident

yn.ln 🤐🤐🤐

user what espresso incident??? i need to know

user awww to be yn

user best WAG ever

marcusrashford10 the photo quality is amazing! hiring you next time for photos 📸

yn.ln thanks rashy ! atleast if the singing doesnt work out i got my photo gig

marcusrashford10 “singing doesnt work out” fam you need a better reason, from what ive heard im never gonna be able to hire you 🙄

yn.ln since when did you become so sweet

marcusrashford10 always been short and sweet

liked by yn.ln and 890 others

user @/marcusrashford10 wdym “from what ive heard”

user has everyone at united heard the new album

rasmus.hoejlund 😏😏😏

user OMGGGG NO **** WAY

user YN RELEASE IT SOON! no way these footballers get to hear it before me !!!!!!!!!

-

May 27th, 2024

teamyn, yn.ln

liked by yn.ln, taylorswift, bensonboone, and 2,684,883

teamyn keep a lookout besties cause your girl yn is going back to wembley on June 16th !

🔗 in bio to secure your tickets for the Capital FM Summertime Ball.

ticket sales start 28 May 2024 @ 9am

view comments

rasmus.hoejlund please please please i want 2 tickets

yn.ln the day you dont get tickets is a day that will never come

rasmus.hoejlund @/garnacho7 your girl is the best

garnacho7 ofcourse i know that

garnacho7 finally get to see mi vida perform live !!! ❤️😆😁

yn.ln time for you to be the WAG now !!

garnacho7 im ready !! ive been waiting a long time for this

taylorswift you go girl !! so proud of you ❤️

yn.ln thank you taytay !!! ❤️

bensonboone we’re getting the band back together

yn.ln lets go rock wembleys socks off

-

June 16th, 2024

garnacho7

liked by yn.ln, masonmount, facupellistri and 1,399,637 others

garnacho7 thats MY girl !! ❤️ te quiero mi vida 💋

view comments

yn.ln thats MY boy ❤️ i love youuuu 💋💋💋

masonmount @/yn.ln more concert dates when 💳💸💰💳

marcusrashford10 you can take my money too

yn.ln calm down besties, just be patient

user something is cooking…. i just know it

user yn has changed the united boys

declanrice @/yn.ln after a banger like that, you better have more concert dates

yn.ln deccers you do realise when it happens you will be the first to know yeah

landonorris fancy performing at silverstone this year

yn.ln tempting offer 🤔 i might take you up on that lando

landonorris telling the organisers now

jackgrealish @/yn.ln that was one hell of a show ! you were amazing yn ! thank you for the tickets

yn.ln youre welcome jacko !! despite you being a bluey you will still get tickets

jackgrealish thats what i love to hear 🤍

-

June 17th, 2024

yn.ln posted a story

-

June 18th, 2024

yn.ln

liked by garnacho7, declanrice, landonorris and 3,637,727 others

yn.ln go stream please please please now !!

Short n’ Sweet album out 23 August 2024

🔗 in bio

view comments

garnacho7 FINALLY GET TO BLAST THIS IN THE CAR !!!!! ❤️

garnacho7 so proud of you mi vida ! cant wait for the full album to be released!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

yn.ln thank you mi corazon ❤️

user THIS SONG IS EVERYTHING

user its been on repeat all day

user MY QUEEN 👑👑👑

user GUYS!!! IT WAS RIGHT UNDER OUR NOSES THE WHOLE TIME

user wdym ??? what have i missed ??

user marcus mason and rasmus literally mentioned the album name and song titles in their comments

user it was all in plain sight

user they are f***g geniuses

user our queen spent too much time with taytay !

user these united boys know something 🤔

manchesterunited new song added to our playlist!! ❤️🎶

yn.ln you guys are too sweet

user GUYS THE MUSIC VIDEOOOOO

liked by user, yn.ln and 8,926 others

user my jaw is on the ground

user since WHENNNN

user i get the alejandro hype now. never did understand it but i do now

-

credits: all pictures are found from pinterest and instagram

a/n: sorry for the long wait!! thank you for reading this far!! If you have any one-shot scenarios send them to me!! I would love to try and recreate them for you ◡̈

[fa-by]

I LUV IT

Hi babies and dear Anons 👋🏼, me again 🙃. I posted a new Q&A yesterday, and @camrensrealbish (btw hi, bud 👋🏼😄) asked me in the comments if I could create a post just for I LUV IT's two analyses.

@camrensrealbish: “Hi Faby, I love the interpretation of I LUV IT. I luv it, I luv it, I luv it 👌😅. I think it explains so well that this era is not surface-level at all. That thought through lyricism and symbolism is definitely still here. And how we’re so eager to dismiss hyperpop as stupid and without substance, be it for our convictions about femininity or sexuality, or even caution because of how other people use women’s sexuality. But when done purposefully it just shows how showing someone’s sexuality in this way *can* be empowering and authentic. And I think this is the case here. Can you please post your song commentary in a separate post, please? I would like to share it properly 😘”.

I originally wanted to post the two analyses as I did here now, but I couldn't because Tumblr has limited the possibility of posting more than 30 pics and I don't know why the fuck 😤. So thank you, dear 🤗. You gave me the excuse to be able to do it 😉.

Enjoy 😊.

Hiii to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. I hope you're good too and about your ask, sure 😉.

So. I LUV IT ft. Playboi Carti released on March 27, 2024, is the first single for her fourth LP: C, XOXO. It's a hyperpop/experimental pop song and it samples Lemonade by Gucci Mane and interpolates Cockiness (Love It) by my queen RiRi (Rihanna). The studio recording with Carti was completed on Dec 17, 2023: (Carti's instastory)

Let me tell you something, this song was meant to shock. She pulled a Yes, and? and it worked 😎. For those of you who don't know what I'm referring to by that, I meant that Yes, and? was Ariana Grande's single for her album Eternal Sunshine and it's a diva house/dance-pop song, which was a different and unexpected genre especially then comparing it to the rest of the songs in the album when it was later released. It's a great song, but if it weren't for the concept that connects to two other songs, it would have nothing to do with the rest of the album musically and sonically speaking. It was a calculated idea to make it different from the rest. It's very smart and it's a good strategy for both a comeback and an album. I feel like I LUV IT is exactly the same thing. An impactful comeback was needed and this, together with the platinum blonde and the new era in general, served the purpose. The song was meant to be talked about for better or for worse. And guess what? Mission accomplished 😜.

This song is not for everyone. There are those who loved it right away, those who hated it and still do, and there are those who hated it and then slowly loved it. In reality, most people hated it and then loved it 🤣. I personally didn't hate it but I didn't love it right from the start either, not gonna lie. I just liked it 🤷🏻‍♀️. But after the third listen? Bouncing ass, tongue out, aaaand I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it 🤣!! This song is definitely a grower! The more you listen to it, the more you become addicted to it 😍.

But anyway. Unlike the video, the lyrics talk about sex. So let's get started. Oh and, of course, I won't include Carti's mumbled Atlanta rap or as his fans say, the Cartinese, simply because he wrote his part.

***Btw, I can no longer listen to Carti’s “Oh, you on the road now? - Oh, you grown now? - Oh, you too grown now” without bursting out laughing 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣. I can't help but hear Nas' imitation of Carti's voice in the HE KNOWS music video🤣🤣🤣. For me, those three sentences have now become just one repeated X3: “Oh, you on the floor now” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣***

Oh oh oh, last thing before starting. If you're a prude, LEAVE NOW. Skip the whole lyric analysis and go straight to the music video analysis. The song is about sex like I just said and I therefore won't hold back from explaining certain things, okay? I warned you 🙋🏻‍♀️. I don't wanna see complaints in the comments as happened years ago. Thank you.

Song

Verse 1:

“Supersonic, in your orbit”

So, supersonic. One word from which two derive: super and sonic. Super: above the rest, better than the rest. Sonic: derived from the Latin ‘sonus’ which means sound. Super-sound. Basically a loud noise, a sound/sonic boom that (the actual meaning of supersonic:) breaks the acoustic barrier by traveling at a speed faster than the one of sound. A flight can be supersonic. As well as a missile and even a gun bullet.

An orbit is an ever-changing path one object in space takes around another. An unscientific example? A dog with its favorite toy often orbits their owner insistently because they want to play with them. Speaking from personal experience here 🤣.

***Oh and, lil fun fact. In prostitution specifically, orbit was, and perhaps still is, a code word for oral sex***

Ultimately, “Supersonic, in your orbit” means that Mila is this supersonic boom, this let's even say supersonic shock that orbits around her prey. As I've said many other times in my analysis, Mila likes to use wordplay in her songs and this is basically her artistic way of explaining sexual provocation. She's provoking her target.

“And I’m bad, diabolic”

It's giving intense energy and mischief out of the ordinary 😜. She knows she's good at it (provocation). She has a goal (to sleep with her) and succeeds because we have the aftermath of her intent in the next sentence.

“Bottle rocket, on the carpet”

Her favorite lyrics because many people didn't grasp the meaning 🤣. Definition of bottle rocket: a firework typically consisting of a cylindrical case that is partly filled with combustible material and fastened to a guiding stick which may be placed in a bottle to control the direction of the rocket's launch.

In this case, in sex, bottle rocket is the representation of cuming hard in an explosive way.

Rockets have a phallic shape, so the first thing that's assumed here is that it's the sperm that's on the carpet, also because the song acts as straight 🙄, but where's the deception? Even girls can give someone a bottle rocket. How? By being an explosion and not a normal female cum orgasm, with female ejaculation also known as squirting.

Ergo, she's talking about herself. This song is not about sex with a guy and I can even prove that with the next sentence.

“Threw it back and he caught it”

Round two, doggy-style position. Movements: “Threw it back” her ass “and she caught it” with the hands by placing it directly back on the face aka mouth-tongue (clue about the lil fun fact I mentioned earlier) or by directing the entrance of the cave of wonders on the dildo (since Camren loves toys so much 😜🤣🤭). But, given the “he” because, again, the song acts as straight 🙄, the meaning should make you think of the guiding on the dick. But no. As I said before, I can prove it.

When guys cum, it literally takes them a while before they can go again. Some need 10/15 minutes, others hours or directly the next day because they literally physically can't. It's rare anyway that they manage to go beyond the second round (unless they're in the midst of adolescence and are like 14/15 years old 🤣), and those who miraculously can make it, also last very little and their cum is also very little. And mind you, I'm not saying these things to belittle men. I'm not making anything up. It's the pure truth. Not only have I experienced it myself (cause yes, hi 👋🏼, I've been with my gf for 3 years but I'm bisexual and I've had relationships before her), but these are facts that you can even look up if you don't believe me.

It's obviously not the same for all guys and they're all different, but us girls literally need 5 seconds or nothing at all to recover, and we don't have limits like they do. Unlike males, we females can have multiple orgasms. Sexual arousal and orgasm are possible again right away. So no. It's impossible she was talking about a guy.

If she was really talking about a guy, it's impossible that immediately after his Bottle rocket, on the carpet (yet another proof that Mila was talking about her cuming, her squirting) he didn't need some enough available time for round two (Threw it back and he caught it). Let’s move on 💪🏼.

“I go soprano, baby, go down low”

Soprano in music is the highest note, so in this case, going soprano means she's screaming with pleasure. And in her euphoric state, she guides her partner back down there into her buried treasure.

“And when he leads, I gotta follow”

The movements. Like in dance. In partner dancing, there are those who lead and those who follow. They're designed roles to facilitate the movements. The one who leads manages the body of the one who follows and decides the dance steps and direction of travel from time to time.

The thing that makes me laugh about this part is the “when he leads”. “When” 🤣🤣🤣. Because she's the top and she's the one who leads most of the time because Laur's the bottom (even though they're both also switch) so when Lo leads, when, sometimes, occasionally, I gotta follow 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Oh Mila 🤦🏻‍♀️🙈🤣.

“I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral”

She feels out of control (spiral) because the ending is so beautiful that it almost makes her lose consciousness (blackin’ out).

“I need you now and tomorrow”

And forever.

I’d also like to add a deeper meaning of sex to I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral – I need you now and tomorrow. Although she said the song is about sex, she also said:

“Part of that cocktail is also the emotional drama between you and that person, and the chaos and butterflies and nerves and passion. It’s unsustainable and not peaceful and exhausting, but also, I LUV IT.” – “Now I feel kind of lonely and small and weird, but at the same time, I’m an adult and I feel so strong in other areas of my life, but not this one. There’s just the wrestling of those feelings without it being kind of neat or in a box. You can’t really say that it’s a sad song, you can’t really pin it down. It’s just kind of me wrestling with these feelings and me kind of being really present on a particular feeling and exploring it. I feel like a lot of songs on the album are that”.

So going deeper, “I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral” indicate her anxiety. Being on a spiral or simply spiraling, is an emotional state that rapidly worsens in a way that becomes increasingly difficult to control and often leads to short-term periods of anxiety or depression. Aka her OCD gets triggered. Which by the way, I remind you that for her leads to obsessions and repetitive thoughts. And in a certain way, we can also see it in the repetition of the same phrase in the chorus.

So here she's saying: 1) I’m blackin’ out, aka I'm going crazy, I'm freaking out (connection/thing that reminds me a lot of “Am I out of my head? Am I out of my mind?” Bad Things [analysis here (eleventh ask)]) 2) I’m on a spiral, aka I'm anxious, distressed, worried, fearful. Why? Because I don't wanna lose you aka 3): I need you now and tomorrow. This alludes to the desire for connection and intimacy that goes beyond sex.

Both meanings (sexual and deeper) however indicate the intensity of her uncontrollable and erratic emotions towards as she said “that person” Lauren. But she doesn't care. “It’s unsustainable and not peaceful and exhausting, but also, I…?” She…? She what? Sing it all together🎤🎵🎶👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼:

Chorus:

“I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, ooh

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it”

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7…...

27.   27……

27 times, huh? 😜 What a wonderful coincidence! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 of all the numbers, precisely the 27. Would you look at that 🤣🤣.

No seriously tho. The words have to fit and respect the tempo of the song, but coincidence or not it's still funny for me 🤭.

Post-Chorus 1:

“Lemons on the chain with the V-cuts (X2)

Lemons in their face, watch ’em freeze up (x2)”

This part was sampled from the song Lemonade by Gucci Mane. Lemons are basically yellow diamonds (known as Canary Diamonds) cut/engraved in the shape of the letter V (an expensive method of cutting diamonds).

The meaning behind that would be that people would “freeze up” in shock at seeing this display of wealth and success, these lemons/diamonds, “in their face”s. They're oh so surprised and intimidated that they even freeze up for this luxury lifestyle thrown in their faces.

Umm………. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Do we really care? Of that? Okay 🤣. About something she didn't even write? Something that she literally took copied and pasted into the song? Pfft, okay. Can we move on? Thank you 🤣.

Verse 2:

“Super twisted, sick addicted”

Twisted: someone who's mentally or emotionally unhealthy or disturbed: sick. --> Sick addicted: someone who's unable to stop doing something as a habit. Ergo, she's saying that she likes/enjoys it a lot and wants to spend as much time as possible doing what they're doing: sex.

Nonsexual meaning: She's using strong words to describe not only herself but also what their relationship is like. They may be twisted, and addicted, and toxic, and all the other things we've seen in their songs, but no matter what, she/they LUV IT, cause they luuuv each other.

“Kiss me hard, someday you’ll miss this”

A dig for all those times they break up or take breaks.

“Meteor shower, in your power”

What's a meteor shower?

The meteor shower is nothing other than what we commonly call shooting stars. These are obviously not stars, but meteors. Meteors are the aftermath of asteroids and comets that ORBITATED the SUN.

Asteroids (celestial bodies composed of rocky bodies) and comets (celestial bodies composed of frozen gases) become meteoroids when they fragment. In turn, meteoroids ignite and disintegrate when they enter our solar system, becoming meteors, ergo shooting stars. Those that don't disintegrate and manage to touch the earth's ground instead become meteorites.

How does a meteor shower happen?

The meteor shower happens when the earth, in its ORBIT around the SUN, crosses an area in which fragments of rock and dust (meteoroids) lost from a comet or an asteroid (celestial bodies made of rock, dust, and ice coming from the outermost areas of the solar system) are concentrated. When an asteroid and a comet heat up as they pass close to the sun, they reach such temperatures that they fragment even more (meteoroids) and when these very tiny fragments enter our atmosphere, they ignite and burn due to friction by generally developing tails, luminous trails (shooting stars) until they vaporize or leave debris (meteorites) behind.

Lil fun fact: some meteorites found on earth come from the MOON 🤭🤣. Most come from destroyed comets and asteroids, but some come from Mars or the moon.

So, after this compelling little science lesson, I can explain what Mila means by “Meteor shower, in your power”.

It's very simple actually. A meteor shower is a celestial event. She's comparing their sex to this astronomical phenomenon, the “Meteor shower”. The “in your power” is due to the fact that Lo’s the one who’s leading as we saw in “And when he leads, I gotta follow” in the first verse.

“Seein’ stars, oh my God”

The retina sends light signals to the brain by making sparks, stars, or flashes of light appear in the visual field. When does this happen? It usually has to do with the head. You've made a movement too fast, like standing up suddenly, or you've been hit on the head, or you're about to lose consciousness, etc. These are all negative aspects, but we're talking about something positive here. Sex.

This amazing sex (Meteor shower), this second round (Threw it back and she caught it), brings her to another orgasm (maybe even another Bottle rocket 🤷🏻‍♀️😏) during which she feels so bewildered, so dizzy, and she experiences this very surreal feeling that overwhelmed her by even Seein’ stars during it. Seein’ stars: to climax, to achieve orgasm.

This can very well be connected with ““I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral” She feels out of control (spiral) because the ending is so beautiful that it almost makes her lose consciousness (blackin’ out)” that I explained earlier.

Oh and, the “oh my God” was her, um 🤣, comment, to express that ending if it wasn't already obvious enough 🤣.

Bridge:

“Slow down, baby”

All of Playboi Carti's “Uh, uh, uh, uh” before Mila's “Slow down, baby”, at least to me, indicate the thrust of the act. Again, he “sings” them to prove the song is straight 🙄, but we know the truth. Anyway. The “Slow down, baby” means exactly that. Either Mila's settling down from the end of round two and needs a tiny bit more time to go as fast as they were going before, or she simply wants this third round to go at a slower pace than the previous one, or better yet, Slow down, baby like in ‘stop, it's my turn now’ (to lead).

Another proof that this doesn't talk about sex with a guy. As I said before, it's rare for guys to get beyond 2 rounds, so let alone a third one 🤣. Sorry, not sorry, but it's literally the truth 🤣.

And that's it. I luv the fact that Camila's lyrics in this song talk about sex but she uses words that still perfectly capture the magnetic attraction between the two of them. I luv how she's quite unapologetic about it. And I LUUUV how she also used these cosmic references in general, but above all, how they anyway hide in a certain way the two important celestial bodies in our sky and solar system: their representation, aka the moon and the sun.

Now let's move on to the music video where everything that could go wrong happens 👍🏼🤣. What is she trying to convey here? Let's find out.

Music video

Opening scene. A Robin Hood wannabe who takes coins from his pocket.

Three empty stationary police cars in a driveway while an aspiring lumberjack cop is, for what initially appears to be, cutting down a tree to prepare for winter.

KhaleesiMila enters the scene 5 seconds before she starts singing. She looks like she just came back home from the night before given her outfit and her slightly messy hair. But not her makeup. The makeup is perfect of course because it's still a music video 😉.

She enters the kitchen with a chocolate cake in one hand while with the other she nonchalantly tosses her heels in a spot where it's very usual for us girls to leave them 🤣: at the doorway or in the bedroom on the kitchen counter.

She starts singing and eating a piece of chocolate cake at the same time.

At the same moment as the first bite of the cake, we have a really well-done perfect transition of her spitting her mouthguard out in a somewhat snobbish but challenging and provocative way because she's ready to fight against a professional female wrestler.

Soon after we have a 3-second split shot of her chewing the cake in the kitchen again and her and Carti in the gas station, before cutting to a long one where we have the reappearance of the archer from the opening scene.

From this moment on, all the small shots, the little introductions that we initially had, are explained a little bit more extensively with longer scenes and shots. Still messy 🤣, but longer.

Hospital part 1

Now that we see the surroundings, we notice how Legolas wannabe is in the corridor of a hospital and that the coins he took from his pocket in the opening scene, he needed them to get something like a chocolate bar from the vending machine. After taking it, he walks back to a white-dressed Mila who's sitting with an arrow in her heart.

A flash passed before my eyes and for a moment I was back in 2019. Why? Liar. The cover art picture of the song portrays her as an angel with wings.

Camila explained that Cupid strikes her with his bow to make her fall from heaven and unmask her, by making her not so angelic anymore because she's actually a liar who's hiding something, that is a secret [hmm, I wonder which one 😏😎🤫🤐🤣]. This whole story created for the song inspired the visual for the entire album Romance (whole album inspired by the surrealism of a museum of love stories in heaven).

So I asked myself, what is this? A connection to Romance but direct to Liar? No. I'd say more that she paid homage to it since even though the lyrics are about sex, the ideology of the video is about their toxic relationship and how she knows it's toxic but she LUVs IT anyway.

Anyhow, I guess that at the arrow in the heart scene, you all thought that the Green Arrow wannabe was Cupid. Same thing here, mostly because of the connection with Liar. I initially thought: “Oooh, it's Cupid! Cupid shot her with his arrow, ergo she's in love. But she's lovesick, and because of this the hospital: love - sick”. Then I saw the whole scene (plus the ending which I'll explain, well, at the end 🤣) and I realized: “Nope. Not Cupid. Not Cupid at all. Hi, Lauren 👋🏼”.

***Let's be clear. This is a music video. A creative and imaginative way of portraying objects, people, and scenarios in general. Yes, it's Camila's POV, but Lauren isn't that bitchy and dickish in real life. Okay? Every artist does it. It's art. Literally, as the word implies.***

So, back to the scene. Rewind. Lauren Hawkeye wannabe takes the candy bar from the vending machine and goes back to Mila. *This is the point where I got to before.* He doesn't even look at her. He just sits. Contrary to her who follows him with her gaze as he sits down and she also turns her head to look at him one more time before looking straight ahead.

That chocolate bar or whatever the fuck it is, it's not even for her. He took it for himself without even having the thought of taking it for her or taking something for her as well. I mean he's like, he's there for her. He went with her and he accompanied her also because he hit her with an arrow. Like yeah, we know that. We can see that. But even though he's there for her, he at the same time doesn't acknowledge or address her at all. He's just there. Present and not. Waiting for her turn.

While she, even smiles with her mouth closed as he's returning to her, but it's a smile I'd say forced. A kind of smile that masks how uncomfortable she feels. It's a wan smile that shows no energy or enthusiasm. It's a stoical ‘grin-and-bear-it because you're used to it after all’ kind of expression. That smile alone makes you understand how ‘normal’ this situation is for her. She's so used to it that it's a standard routine for her. It doesn't come as a surprise.

In a situation like this one, in a hospital, with an arrow in the chest/heart, anger or pain or both reactions are what you expect to be shown by her. But no. She's just there. Waiting for her turn.

Meaning behind this? The arrow in the heart represents a metaphorical way to express the idea that love can be both powerful and overwhelming, capable of causing joy and pain in equal measure. In this case however, the arrow in the heart doesn't represent a tender sweet and romantic symbol of Cupid and Valentine's Day. It represents a heart-piercing emotional pain. In this case, that arrow is nothing more than a heart-stopping arrow through the heart.

Fight & Dogs

In the next scene we have the professional female wrestler again. Like when she spat her mouthguard out in the opening brief shot, Mila continues to have this defiant attitude *she’s so hot there btw 🤤🥵*.

She shows herself as very self-confident with this superior aura and this cockiness that gives off an ‘I can kick your ass’ vibe. All of this flies out the window the moment the wrestler makes her move against her and Mila shits in her pants and starts running away 🤣.

At the same time that she starts running, we have another perfect transition of a running dog.

Then we have another very brief shot of her continuing to eat the cake in the kitchen, before alternating the fight with the wrestler and not just one dog running randomly, but her being chased by no less than three dogs 🤣.

These two scenes are connected on the part of running for your life. Literally as far as the dogs are concerned 🤣. And speaking of the dogs, the scene represents the danger and risks of being in love with someone. It represents all the feelings of chaos that go along with it. It represents feeling afraid and helpless with a constant internal battle of anxiety and fear. Being chased by dogs is stressful, scary, and unpleasant, BUT, it's even adrenaline-pumping and the depiction of it, is basically like an excited nightmare that represents not knowing where things are leading. Running into the unknown. She's scared but she does it anyway because the journey is electrifying.

Going back and talking about the scene with the wrestler, the running scared to avoid the actual physical fight is the representation of avoiding the confrontation. And that's something we know Mila does thanks to both her and Lauren. We also know this because in 2016 she herself said that she avoids conflicts with people. It's a vice/bad habit that she's always had.

BUT, no matter how much she tries to run away and avoid this confrontation, it always happens. Sooner or later, she eventually always finds herself having to face the problem unwillingly or not. The representation of this in the video is when she's captured. We actually see this section almost at the end of the video after Carti’s “🎵tursin-eh-oh-and-halloh-eh-halloh-eh-halloh-I'm out o-controool🎵” 🤣🤣🤣. We see the wrestler chasing and catching Mila, which leads to the headlock wrestling move.

Now let's talk about this section with the headlock that we see both at the end and currently in the first chorus of the part of the video where we are. Specifically this one here. We see several headlocks in sequence, but the one I want to focus on is the second one, where the wrestler is enacting the chokehold with only one arm.

Like, umm… 🤭 The way you caress her arm and look at her, and the way you sing “I luv it” with your tongue sticking out in that seductive way 🔥.

I mean... Mila, honey…😏 I see you! 🤣

No wonder in the BTS of the video she said: “I've been the most excited for this scene all day”. Hmm 🤔, I wonder why is that 🤣🤣🤣. Just as I'm not surprised by the other clue she gave in the interview with Bru On The Radio when talking about the scene: “It's like a little homoerotic. It's cool! But um- * she bursts out laughing by looking to the side* -yeah”.

Homoerotic: 1) (especially of art, literature, drama, or the like) using symbolism, allusions, situations, etc., that invoke sexual attraction or activity between people of the same gender. Example: There's definitely some homoerotic subtext in that book. 2) having sexual attraction to people of one's own sex or gender, especially when that attraction is repressed. Example: To say a man has a “streak of lavender” means that he has homoerotic desires. 3) relating or involving sexual activity between people of the same sex. Specifically: marked by, revealing, or portraying sexual desire between people of the same sex.

I have nothing else to add, Your Honor. I have nothing else to add 😎🤣.

No but seriously now. She doesn't act that way during the other headlocks. In those, she tries to fight back and somehow defend herself by trying to free herself. We see her react in a rather normal way to that type of situation. But in that particular hold? Nope 🤣. We can see how much she likes it. How attracted and aroused she is. The reactions she has during the other headlocks represent her external side, what really happens and what she lets see. While in that particular one, we see the toxicity of what happens in her inner part. The “I luv it” to the choking which on a larger scale, represents her toxicity in loving the pain. Even though they're fighting and she hates the confrontation and is in pain, she LUVs IT anyway because she luvs HER.

***Mind you that this is only an additional representation and seen in a more generic way. I don't see it as fitting to the theme of the music video as much as the one I've already explained to you now.*** A broader meaning could also be the representation of how the love for Lauren is so strong that she can't fight it. We've seen this other times in the lyrics of songs like This Love [analysis here (the penultimate ask)] and Señorita [analysis here (the last ask)] where Mila was having an inner struggle because, on the one hand, she wanted to protect her feelings, and on the other, she couldn't resist her. Ergo, the scene where she tries to fight this love, the professional wrestler, but she loses and thus is ultimately defeated.

House

Next scene we have her continuing to eat the chocolate cake plus this guy who comes in and rides around her house on his motorcycle and she does nothing.

Let's dwell for a moment on her eating.

Where have we seen something like this before (besides the reality of everyday life)? In every damn movie and TV show since forever 🤣. Someone is sad for some X reason like they had a fight with someone, or they're going through a breakup, and what do they do? They eat either something chocolate or ice cream. 90% of the time it's something chocolate related. Why? Because when consumed, it releases endorphins in the brain that produce a mild feeling of euphoria by mimicking the feeling of being in love. This is why chocolate is called the love drug. It gives comfort and joy and when we're down, we emotionally crave chocolate because we're unsatisfied with something.

Her eating chocolate cake in this case is an indication of unsatisfied desires and emotional needs.

Now let's go back to the guy with the motorcycle. He's destroying everything in his path and she's simply there, munching on her cake unbothered.

He's causing a mess but she doesn't even try to stop him. She doesn't get angry, she doesn't scream, nothing. And why? Because as I said before by talking about that type of smile in the hospital, this situation is ‘normal’ for her. She doesn't react simply because she's used to it. The chaos of their relationship doesn't surprise her also because, I mean, it's been years and years.

The house depicts her head and what happens in it. Him destroying the house is a representation of how she sees his bringing chaos into her life and their relationship. On a deeper level, her not reacting to the destruction of the house represents the fact that she's so in love that she ignores bad and toxic behaviors. The whole scene represents the toxicity and destruction that a relationship can bring into your life but you keep trying because you LUV IT. Lauren brings love, happiness, passion, euphoria, but she also brings chaos which also encompasses mess, confusion, disarray, whether all good or bad. We also saw this type of example in the lyrics of Consequences [analysis here (penultimate ask)].

Successively we have a mix of scenes, among which are the cop one of the opening scene, the car one, and the bathroom one.

Palm tree

We can finally see that this aspiring lumberjack cop is chopping this palm tree because Camila is on top of it.

Now, I have two interpretations for this. The palm tree represents Lauren/their toxic love in both interpretations.

N° 1, she's stuck on the tree. Being stuck represents her way of saying that there's no way out of their toxic relationship even though someone (represented by the cop) or more than someone (since there are 3 police cars even though we only see one cop) tries to get her out of this situation.

N° 2, the one I see as the most truthful, the most right one. She's not stuck on the tree. Mila is Walzing it 🤣🤣🤣 (for those who don't know, Dinah used to call Mila ‘Walz’ and here you can find the reason why the nickname was born). Her koalaing the tree also represents her co-dependence. She's clinging to it and doesn't want to let go.

She's on the very high point of the tree; visual meaning: danger. If she were to fall, she would die or be seriously injured. But she doesn't care. She's ready to risk her life. Deeper for the representation: her love is so strong, that she's ready to risk it (“I'll risk it all”, as we've already seen in Used to This [part of the interpretation that you can find in the analysis of Only Told the Moon here]). She's ready to risk everything/risk it all even if she were to lose her heart and if it were to affect even her mental and physical health as we've already seen in the lyrics of Consequences.

Even in this case, the cop represents someone or more than someone in her life who tries to get her out of this situation. They use extreme ways to do this, representative of getting her down: cutting down the tree. Why? Why doesn't this cop who clearly knows that this person is experiencing some kind of problem call the fire truck to bring a ladder to save her since that's what's normally done in these situations? Or he doesn't go directly and find one himself? Why doesn't he talk to her and try to reason with her to get her down?

Because it's not the first time this has happened. The cop (her family, her friends) is so used to and tired of seeing their on-again, off-again/cycle/loop/circle, that he decides to help her in a more brutal way in this case. Representation: chopping down the tree. It doesn't matter tho. It doesn't matter that other people try to help her in hard ways. She doesn't wanna lose her, and therefore she depicts how even though she knows it's a toxic relationship, she's clinging (codependent) to it and continues to love her because she doesn't want to depart/separate herself no matter what. Reason why we even see her singing “I luv it” while she’s glued to the tree.

Car

Speaking of falling (and how these two scenes are connected). Instead of that tree, here we see her having fallen over a car. Part of the car is destroyed, as is she. It's a representation of being in love and how it can sometimes destroy you. But again, we even see her singing “I luv it” because she doesn't care.

She doesn't care about falling and being crushed by/for her. They've taken a lot of risks over the years. They've suffered, they've hurt each other, and they've fallen down and gotten up every single time. And those wounds, in the video are represented as real wounds with cuts, bruises, gashes, and all that jazz.

She doesn't even care when we, the public and the fans, see her destroyed like that. We've seen it many times, especially after years and years spent growing up in the public eye. By this, I'm obviously referring to the woman who's immortalizing the scene with her phone.

Although that, it's also a representation of what would actually happen in today's world: instead of helping or calling an ambulance, the woman is filming or taking pics.

Bathroom & Bedroom

Contrary to the connection that the tree and the car scenes have, this one is connected to the ones of the dogs and the professional female wrestler.

We first see her in the bathroom. She looks in the mirror and even lifts her shirt up to look at her belly. Let's say normal things that we all do, and so far, nothing strange. Then we also see her perplexed and undecided tho (when she sighs with her finger in her mouth). And we see her rehearsing. We see her change her expression to a determined one and make the gun gesture with the fingers of her hand.

***Sorry but I have to tell you guys 🤣🤣🤣. I found it extremely funny how she made the gun gesture with her fingers precisely at “someday you’ll miss this”. THIS and bam: fingers out 😏😎🤣.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry 🤣🤣 one day she'll miss, what, Mila? Your gay fingers?🤣🤣🤣 Oooooookay 😉🤣***

Back to normal. All that represents her mentally preparing herself, and for what? For what we then see in the bedroom. Before heading there, we can see her expression of determination but more importantly, we can see her pissed-off expression.

She walks into the bedroom with this imaginary automatic machine gun that she uses to shoot and destroy the bed. As she does that, the footage also shows us the rest of the room, and what do I spy with my little eye 🧐? A frame hanging on the wall. And what's in that frame? Five boys with the word ‘sorry’ written on their backs.

Wait a second, wait a second… FIVE???? 😲 Five as a reference to Fifth Harmony? 😱 Five as in 5H because it's a hidden clue to confirm that she's talking about Lauren? 🤯 WHAAAAAT??? 😵

Yes, guys, yes. For those who haven't noticed, the answer is yes. Camila doesn't do things shittily. There's always meaning in the things she does, whether it's hidden or not. And if anyone tries to tell you otherwise or something different about that clue, don't be fooled. Why 5? Explain the 5 otherwise? They could've used a thousand different things like, for example, an apology/sorry note left on the bedside table, or even just one guy with sorry on his back in that frame since all of this is supposed to be straight and about a guy 🙄. But no. They used FIVE of them specifically.

Moving on.

The rehearsals she was doing in the bathroom that we later saw lead to the destruction of the bed with the imaginary automatic machine gun, were all due to Mila being pissed off about something Laur had done. Something we know thanks to the not-so-hidden apology message in the frame. Now I don't know about you 🎤🎶but I'm feeling 22 🎶🎤 sorry but I had to 🤣 but I know that even though Camila is magical, she doesn't really have powers 🤣. So even though this is the representation of her being pissed at Lo, she didn't actually shoot the bed. It was all in her head. She was just imagining doing it. Yeah, she was angry, but we also know that she'd run away in reality to try to avoid conflicts as we saw in the scene with the dogs and in the scene with the wrestler (aka Laur herself), during which, however, we also saw that the wrestler captures her and that therefore Mila was then forced to face.

Hospital part 2

During the mix of these three scenes (Palm Tree - Car - Bathroom & Bedroom) just discussed, we have two small shots of Mila in the hospital. The first during “oh my God” and the second during “I luv it”.

We see her looking in one direction before saying “oh my God”. It's an exasperated “oh my God” because no one's assisting her yet.

She sings “I luv it” by tapping her finger to her temple in rhythm but we can see how impatient she's starting to get for the wait. Yeah, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, but she's irritated and frustrated.

Gas station

Mila and her friends pull over into this gas station. A guy with long hair immediately approaches to serve them, but instead of refueling the car as we normally expected, he does it to them. He takes the pump and fills their glasses with gasoline, even though we know very well that it was actually nothing more than “some disgusting water-down apple juice”, according to Mila herself.

All this during “Lemons on the chain with the V-cuts (X4) - Lemons in their face, watch ’em freeze up (x4)” Oh well, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade Camila Cabello drinks gasoline 🤣.

Sorry, sorry 🤣. Joking aside now.

Drinking alcohol produces euphoria. It's stimulating, exciting, and lowers inhibitions and control. It's intoxicating, and although this word usually indicates something positive, it can also represent something negative especially when associated with alcohol. Drinking alcohol is intoxicating in a good way, but if done too much, it's intoxicating in a harmful way. In this case, alcohol is the representation of another hyperbolic metaphor. It's yet another concept represented in an exaggerated way. Gasoline, fuel, or whatever the hell it was, is obviously toxic. Ingesting it is dangerous. It's yet another representation of their toxic relationship and tendencies and how she doesn't care going against all common sense because she LUVs IT.

There would also be another possible meaning behind this scene due to Playboi Carti's verse. He talks about drugs (Novocaine and Mary Jane), luxury cars (Lamborghini Aventador SVJ), and rebellious life in general.

Novocaine is a drug used as a local anesthetic normally by dentists. Mary Jane is the literal English translation of the name Marijuana. Spanish: Maria/Mari. English translation: Mary. Spanish: Juana. English translation: Jane. Ergo, Marijuana: Mary Jane. In the past when drug users talked about marijuana, they called it Mary Jane so as not to arouse police suspicion.

I explained all this because specifically his talk about drugs made me think of a different possible meaning behind this scene. You see in the US, many drug dealers operate out of gas stations. Mila and her friends are getting gas at the gas station. In slang, ‘gas’ is a noun made popular by rappers to refer to weed/marijuana.

It might be that the scene has both meanings. Alcohol for her and drugs for him. Who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️. Maybe we would've seen it for real if Carti hadn't arrived late for the video shoot. But anyway.

Right after that, we have the dance scene. I have two interpretations for that even here. Both true.

The first one: Don't expect me to say sweet and predictable things like that she's dancing hypnotized because she's drunk on love 🤣. Nope. The blindfold is supposed to represent how blinded she is by love and shit, right? The typical phrase ‘love is blind’ that makes someone unable to see the flaws of the person they love. True, but at the same time in her case, bullshit tho. Buuuullshit! Because we saw throughout the video how she's aware of everything.

She chose to put the blindfold on and dance freely whether it's just for fun or distraction or to literally dance the pain away. She chose to put it on to ‘not see’ the flaws, the toxicity, and all the negative things. She knows. She knows they're there. It's just her choice to ignore them because, once again, she doesn't care because she luvs it and her.

The second one: Based on the getting gas in the previous shot, whether it's just alcohol or whether it's also marijuana, that's why right after that scene we see Carti with his hoodie backwards (it's literally backwards, look closely) before he starts singing and Mila and the girls dancing together blindfolded with X’s over their eyes.

It represents the beginning of the effect. 😵: literally the dizziness of drunkenness and/or stonedness. In a deeper way, it represents love being a drug/addiction to live to the fullest (dancing).

Again whether it's just alcohol or weed, that's also the reason why at the end of the video they're both comfortable and relaxed in eating calmly as if they don't have a care in the world (despite the video being completely the opposite). Both alcohol and weed increase hunger and appetite, sometimes leading to strange and uncontrollable cravings. That represents half to almost the end of the effect.

Hospital part 3

She's still waiting. She's still waiting for someone to help her remove that fucking arrow from her chest. The whole reason she's been there waiting for probably hours. Nurses even walk past in front of her but still no one assists her. As before, she's still annoyed, but now she's also discouraged and sad. Not only that, but the male version of a Katniss Everdeen wannabe is also gone. Representation of a breakup or one of their breaks. Mila's alone, and suddenly, the wound begins to bleed.

In this case, the arrow through her heart symbolizes feeling emotionally hurt. Since loving someone is not always a walk in dreamland, but it also consists of twists and turns and can really fucking hurt you, here we see how her heart starts dripping blood. The bleeding can also represent how toxic relationships leave you in the end. Again, love is pain but she LUVs IT.

Thing more important, the wound begins to bleed because she's no longer with her. It didn't do it the entire time Laur was with her, but her heart started to bleed in pain only after she left. Representation of how her heart, although already wounded (arrow) by her/for her, cannot bear to be without her (bleeding). As I also explained in my This Love’s interpretation, the choice over the years has often been between having her and suffering, or not having her at all, and as we know, she always chose her.

The end

So, that was the music video. It gave me Miami and Florida. It gave me GTA and crack house feelings 🤣. It gave me wildness and adrenaline. It gave me roller coaster. It gave me college students traveling for the holidays/Spring Breakers movie. *For those who don't know what I'm talking about 👇🏼*

Especially here with this promo.

*Last minute edit: she just said Spring Breakers is one of the inspired aesthetics for the new era*

She in specific, gave me addicted to pain. She gave me impulsiveness. She gave me a fast-paced lifestyle, full of passion, desire, and disregard for consequences. She gave me vibe. She gave me boujee. She gave me dance. She gave me actress and humor as has also happened in other videos in the past (although less than those ones) such as for example Havana, Liar, My Oh My, Bam Bam, Don’t Go Yet, etc. (it's not the first time Camila's been in ridiculous situations in her videos). She gave me chaos begets chaos, and in order to maintain sanity, one must embrace the insanity. Or in her case, a palm tree 🤣🤣🤣.

I mean, all in all and in its complexity, I really enjoyed it. She said the theme of the video is chaos and danger, and we saw that. In the interview with Bru On The Radio, still talking about the video, she said: “This complex feeling of loving the pain of something, or loving the messiness of something, or loving the chaos of something, really kind of like finding the beauty in that part of our humanity”. And we saw that too.

And as if it wasn't clear enough already, the video is an artistic representation of the toxic tendencies and behaviors of their toxic relationship in general throughout all these years. And yes, their as in both of them, not just her as in Lauren's. I told you guys in the beginning that it's Camila's POV and I explained that Lauren isn't that bitchy and dickish in real life, but we don't just see Laur's toxic tendencies and behaviors from Mila's POV in the video. We actually see Mila's a lot more. Let me explain.

We saw how Laur brings chaos into Mila's life and their relationship (house scene). She's hurt her (shot her with an arrow through the heart), she doesn't acknowledge her in the hospital, and she also leaves at the end. The leaving her there (breakup or break) in those conditions as well as not taking something for her too from the vending machine is a neglect; another trait of a toxic relationship. That's all. That's what we see as far as Lauren is concerned. Mila on the other hand…

She's the one who's unbothered, especially in the beginning, in having an arrow in her heart, aka being hurt. She's the one who doesn't react when Lo destroys the house, aka when Laur has toxic behavior towards her. Still her the one who runs away from her problems so as not to face them and avoids conflicts (dogs and wrestler). In fact, if that's why, I wanna put in a good word for Laur in this case since she fights her by forcing her to confront her, aka talk about their problems. Still Mila the one who uses an imaginary automatic machine gun to shoot and destroy the bed symbolically in her head just because she’s angry with her. She's the one who crashes herself on top of a car and risks her life on other occasions with the dogs, the palm tree, and by drinking gasoline. I mean, see what I mean?

Who's the most toxic one we see here? And again, this is just a video. Not the reality. I feel like I always have to specify these things with you guys because one never knows you misinterpreted it 🤣. But anyway. I'm happy Mila did it. I'm happy that Mila represented even her toxicity since for many years due to her songs people only and always blamed Lauren. It's something I've been saying for years 💁🏻‍♀️. They both have their faults. There are two people in the couple and there are always two sides to a story. Not just one.

In any case, that's it, dear Anon. I hope you enjoyed both analysis 🙃.

🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍

Aaand I'm done 👅. Thank you all for your asks and I hope I've been helpful this time too 🙃. As usual, I'm always available for those who have questions, so ask away 😄.

Remember to be nice. Always. Both with others and with yourselves. Be a good example. Be patient. Be safe and take care of yourselves. Don't let our ship sink. Keep shipping them, but please respectfully 🙏🏼. Sending you virtual love and hugs 🤗🤗🤗. I love you, babies. Always with love, F ❤️.

[isa-loves-you]

Telling People, You're a couple. | The Group Chat Head canons | Pt.2

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Soft willy- you and nick have been dating for almost 2 months now. It's still crazy to you that you have this man, I mean come one look at him he is the definition of what everyone wants to be or be with. respectful, good height, nice built, the funniest person you have ever met, sweet and caring nick was all these things; which is why you were kinda scared of telling people you were a couple.

It's not like you were the most horrible person to look at but you in your mind you just thought you were okay nothing special just your average joe, but to nick you were the most beautiful person he'd ever met so of course he wanted to show everyone how special he is to have you in his life. Ever since you guys started dating he's been trying to get your approval to tell his fans but you still felt a little anxious on the idea so nicked eventually stopped asking to respect your decision. 

One day you and nick were at a burger place eating lunch talking about his new album. “I don't know what I really want for the cover but I was kinda thinking if you would be able to pose for it?” Nick said looking hopeful at you “Nick I don't know, what if people connect the dots? I'm already on most of the tracks. It would be weird if I am also on the cover.”. He had to admit it would be kinda obvious but that was the whole point, he was happy that you were there to help accomplish the album and it would just be even more awesome if he got to see your face on the front of it all

“Here your refill sir” the waitress interrupted yours and nick conversation with a smile “oh thanks” “if you need anything, and i mean anything else just let me know” the waitress was basically eye fucking nick while saying her little beg of attention from nick. This mad you fucking livid like who  does she think she is talking to a random man like this and in front of his girlfriend out of all people.

“Thanks but i'm good” Nick let out an uncomfortable laugh while trying not to look at her anymore. You had to admit this girl was pretty but you were definitely better looking than her and that's all you needed in the moment to make a decision that went against your words. “You know what?I will pose for the cover "what do i have to hide” for the rest of the day. Nick couldn't stop thanking you and asking if you were sure about this but you already agreed and can't go back on it now.

Two weeks later you and Nick were drinking and  trying to think of all the different types of ways to take pictures. Since the songs on the album were based off of video games more specifically the games you could only play on the Nintendo DS you came up with  the idea of taking them on a DS. After three hours  later you and Nick finally captured the right picture to put on the album.

A couple of days passed, and Nick had posted the cover as a promotion which was the picture of you on a DS with a bold light blue font that read “Digital Dreams”. 

(This is sorta what I was going for. obvious if you don't like it you can totally imagine something else. Also credit to whoever these beautiful people are , I am jealous.)

In the caption of the post Nick had credited all the people who worked on the album including you but did it a completely different way. “I also want to thank my amazing partner for helping me throughout the process and even being on the album front and in the song @ ur username  i love you.”

You were surprised at the amount of people who were so supportive of you guys, of course there were some people who weren't, but you couldn't care. You were just happy that Nick was happy.

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Larry-  you were getting some food for you and Larry because he said he hasn't eaten all day. You and Larry have been dating for almost a month and it was the best thing that has happened to you in a while. Everyday with him was so much fun and the group was accepting of you for dating their friend.

You had gotten him and you something small because Nick and Tanner wanted you and Larry to go with them to dinner later but since Larry didn't eat you just grabbed something while you were out so he wouldn't be so hungry later. You had stepped into the house looking for Larry but he was in his room doing the podcast with the others.

You knocked on his door which he called out for you to open “dude you didn't have to do that thank you so much” “no problem it wasn't a bother to me”. You walked up to his desk to set the food down “hi everyone” you waved to all of the boys in the call which they waved back. 

You stood there for a couple more minutes talking to them before you left to go be on your phone and leave them back with their work. Almost 45 minutes later Nick, Larry, and Tanner came out so you guys could go to dinner and have a fun night out. 

You woke up the next morning in Larry's bed since you didn't want to drive home  last night. You see Larry at his desk looking at the podcast comments, you walk up to him and put a hand on his shoulder “so do they love me” you let out a small laugh. “They love you alright, it seems like they love you more than me” “well in that case switch me jobs, i would love to make dumb jokes all day “. you guys shared a laugh and a few more while looking at the comments. You were glad that the people who loved him were happy that he was with you.

[jrvanfleet]

When You’re an Addams 2 - j.t.k

18+ MINORS, DNI!!!

summary: after your daughter leaves with her uncle josh for the night, you and jake are finally left alone for some much needed quality time... [very much romantic husband!jake hehe]

pairing: jake x f. reader

warnings: !SMUT! unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it folks!), cockwarming, praise kink, oral sex (f. receiving), feet (but like not in a gross way... just... well...), body worshiping, overall sweet husband jake who just wants to treat you right

word count: 6k

a/n: so sorry this has LITERALLY taken two months for me to finish.. i know, i'm disappointed in myself too... but just so you know, this could technically be read as a stand alone smut... but there's a bit of context throughout that would make more sense if you read the PART ONE to this fic HERE! :) enjoy.

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The house was mostly dark when you and Jake stepped through the front entrance. Your husband’s fingers were interlaced with yours and didn’t let go even as he flipped on a singular lamp in the living room, casting the room in a soft warm glow. He led you over to the record player that sat along the far wall. Careful to keep the album he chose hidden from you, he pulled it from his collection and set the needle gently against the vinyl.

“What did you pick?” you asked when he turned around. Goosebumps rose on your skin from his gentle touch sweeping up your waist and around you, pulling you close to him.

“Just something to set the mood,” he murmured into your hair. “I have quite the night planned for you, my love.”

“Oh?”

“Mhm,” the right corner of his mouth was turned upwards as he pulled back to look you in the eyes. “No kids? A full night to have you all to myself?” He kissed you lightly. Your skin tingled as his hand swept from its place on your back to your ass, squeezing it to emphasize his point. “You better believe I have our whole night planned.”

The blood in your veins heated a few degrees.

“But,” he continued as music began playing out of the speakers, “since we’re still dressed up, we have to truly dance like Morticia and Gomez. Besides, we also have to wait for the food to be delivered.” A sheepish grin tugged on his face and you laughed. His fingers laced with yours as he pulled you closer.

“What did you order?” you asked.

He clicked his tongue right next to your ear.

“So many questions.” He leaned in towards you and kissed up your neck. “I suppose you’ll just have to wait and see.”

You chuckled lightly, letting him begin to lead you around the living room in an easy sway. The song he chose was a classic, one of your favorites off of the Etta James ‘At Last’ album. He began lightly humming the song as the two of you danced, fully at peace in your darkened living room.

As you moved, the hand he had placed at your waist slowly began to drift up and down your spine in long and languid strokes. The calluses on his fingers left more goosebumps in their wake along your bare back. His hand was content to stroke your skin and you softly placed your cheek on his shoulder, breathing in his scent. He smelled like whiskey and cigar smoke but as you rested your head there on his shoulder, you could almost catch the scent of something else underneath his usual smell. Something oddly familiar. The more you thought about it, you realized that the smell was that of your daughter’s hair detangler. The sweet scent of artificial green apple was too prominent to mistake for anything else. You laughed into the crook of his neck.

“What?” he asked.

You giggled again.

“What?”

“Did you use bug’s detangler?” you laughed again leaning back slightly and dragged a finger behind his ear to tuck a stray piece of hair that had escaped his low bun.

“As a matter of fact… I did,” he replied with absolutely no shame. He grinned at you as you laughed again. “What? It works and it smells good.”

You knew that he was trying to have a romantic moment with you there in the living room, but you couldn’t contain your laughter at how absolutely lovable he was. You loved that your relationship was this way, the perfect blend of sexy and humorous. Even in a sweet romantic gesture, you and Jake could laugh together without ruining the mood.

“You’re so unbelievably sexy, Mr. Kiszka,” you smiled as you leaned in to kiss him. He welcomed the kiss and his hand that was holding yours tightened in response.

“Not as sexy as you Mrs. Kiszka,” he said back, kissing your lips between each sultry word. You were both grinning like fools as your free hand snuck around to the back on his neck, digging into his hair and pulling him closer to you.

Jake moaned at the feeling of your fingers massaging the base of his neck and the sound set off something fiery in the pit of your stomach. As he kissed you deeper, his tongue swept into your mouth, which you reciprocated with your own moan.

He released your hand in favor of letting both his trail over you, stopping at your ass and grabbing at it in handfuls. He pulled you against him without breaking the kiss. Fully molded against him you could feel the prominence of his hardness pressing against your front. Your breathing was ragged but you didn’t care, you wished you could kiss him like this for eternity.

Jake’s mouth soon began to wander, softly biting and sucking at your throat as his hands kneaded your ass. You couldn’t contain your breathy moan as his lips found that perfect spot behind your ear that he knew made you melt. You grasped his hair tighter while your other hand found its way around to the small of his back and gripped at the dark grey fabric of his suit.

As his tongue dragged over the tender spot on your neck, you whispered a choked “Jak–” but your words were cut off with a startled gasp by a loud rapping on your front door. Jake chuckled against your throat, still slowly trailing his lips over the soft skin. He took his time to kiss his way up the side of your neck until his breath tickled the shell of your ear, making you shiver.

“That,” he whispered, “would be our dinner.” He took your earlobe between his teeth and gave it a gentle tug filled with promise. Your breath came out in shuddering gasps as he reluctantly detached himself from your body and made his way to the door.

You tried to slow your breathing as you watched him pull open the door and grinned when you saw the red smiley face with the words ‘Thank You!’ written all over the plastic takeout bag. Jake had ordered from your favorite Thai restaurant and your mouth began to water at the thought of the delicious sweet and spicy dishes that kept you and Jake returning at least once every other week.

Your husband dug his wallet out of his pocket, tipped the delivery driver, and thanked them before closing the door with his elbow, both his hands occupied by the bags of food.

“Have I told you that I love you?” you asked, walking over and taking one of the bags from his overflowing hands. You kissed him again, simply because you wanted to. He hummed his approval onto your lips.

“I think you may have told me once or twice.” The way his mouth quirked up made your heart melt with adoration. “Okay sugar, let’s see what we’ve got.” He strode into the kitchen, but not before giving your ass a firm smack, unable to keep his hands off you. You smiled and trailed after him.

He had ordered all your favorite dishes: Kaeng Kari Kai for you, Pad Thai for himself, with fresh spring rolls and lots of rice for you to share.

As you worked on taking everything out of the two bags, Jake set the table. You didn’t notice the candles he had placed between your two empty bowls until you turned, takeout boxes in hand. A soft gasp escaped your lips as he lit the last one, covering the room in a cozy glow.

“Did I forget my own birthday or something?” you laughed as he graciously pulled your chair out for you to sit.

“Is it such a crime to treat my woman every once in a while?” he joked back, kissing your temple before sitting in the seat opposite of you.

You couldn’t help but quickly dig into the food before you. The spicy yellow curry was just as delicious as ever and the spring rolls were the perfect antidote for the spices on your tongue.

The conversation between you and Jake flowed easily, just like it always had. Even after being married for years, there never seemed to be a shortage of things to talk about. He always interested you and you always interested him. While he talked, you couldn’t help but admire how delicious he looked in his suit and tie. Finishing your dish, you sat and ogled him a bit from across the table. In the background, the end of the record clicked to a stop. The only noise was the soft chirping of crickets outside and Jake’s raspy but comforting voice. You found yourself with your chin propped on your hand, watching him with rapt attention as he told you all about the new track he had worked on earlier in the day. His voice trailed off as comfortable silence fell between you.

“Tell me what you’re thinking, sugar,” he said, breaking the silence. His voice was dark and sultry.

“Mmm…” You tried to gather your thoughts, “I’m thinking about how I’m so lucky to have you.” You fiddled with your spoon in your now empty bowl. “I’m thinking about how I love you and your passions and how hard you work every day. I’m thinking about how incredible of a husband and father you are.” Your eyes met his and they burned with love while a soft smile began to form on his lips.

Slowly, you stood from the table and crossed over to where he sat. Your long black dress swished against the floor as you sat in his lap and looped your arms loosely around his neck. His warm hands immediately came to rest comfortably on your hip and thigh, rubbing soothing and loving circles in them with his thumbs.

“And I’m also thinking about how I can’t wait for you to make good on your promise.” You punctuated your sentence by slowly dragging the tip of your tongue along his jaw. He shuddered beneath you and the hands that rested on your body tightened in response.

“Oh?” He tried to keep the swagger in his voice but you felt the anticipation in his tone. His hands roved over you, finding the slit in your dress and dragging his fingers higher up your thigh. “And which promise is that exactly?” His lips found your shoulder as his hands continued their wandering.

This was exactly what you had wanted. Your heart pounded in your chest as you hummed in response, taking your hands and tilting his head to give your lips access to his neck.

Mustering up all the sexiness you could into your voice, you whispered in his ear, “You promised that you were going to peel this dress off of me.” Your teeth clamped on the skin of his jaw, just hard enough to encourage a soft moan from him and make him shift underneath you. You could feel how hard he still was and you did your best to wiggle your hips on top of him. He groaned and twisted so that he caught your lips with his own. It was a wet clash of tongues and teeth as he nodded fervently.

Somehow he maneuvered an arm under your knees and around your back and was standing so quickly you yelped in delighted surprise. He carried you bridal style down the darkened hallway, his lips never parting with your own.

“I always keep my promises.” His words rasped against your skin and you smiled devilishly against his lips as he kicked open your bedroom door.

The room was dark like the rest of the house, save for the dim light coming from the adjoining bathroom. He laid you down on the comforter of your shared bed with heartbreaking gentleness, looking down upon you.

You deliberately stretched your arms above your head, giving him the perfect view of all your curves.

“Well, Kiszka…” you taunted, “Show me what you’ve got.”

A fire danced in his eyes as he gazed at you with a hunger that made your stomach curl.

His fingers were slow as he delicately dragged them over the satin of your dress. You could feel the calluses through it as if the dress wasn’t there at all. His brown eyes were bright and he took in the sight of you sprawled out for him.

“I will keep my promise,” he muttered, his eyes never leaving your body, “but I don’t think I’m ready to have you out of this dress yet. You’re just so gorgeous.”

You could feel the blush spread over your face as his hands lightly dragged down the length of one of your legs. He’d been sweet to you all night, but for him to blatantly tell you that he thought you were gorgeous… Your cheeks burned and you bit your bottom lip to hide your grin.

You were still wearing your shoes and he lifted your leg, slowly pulling the heel off your foot. You didn’t wear heels often because they were uncomfortable and you wobbled a bit as you walked, but you’d sacrificed comfort for the night, the shoes finishing off your dramatic costume perfectly.

Jake dropped the heel on the floor, not caring where it ended up and you let out a groan as he began massaging a spot on the bottom of your foot you hadn’t realized was sore. He smiled a satisfied smile as he watched your head drop back in pleasure. His grin lingered as he worked the sore muscles and your breathing turned heavy when he reached for the other leg. He discarded the other shoe onto the floor with a definitive thump and you couldn’t help but moan at the way he knew exactly what you needed. In every aspect of your relationship. He wanted to treat you and though you always felt cherished with him, his specially planned date night made you nearly burst with love. And lust.

His hands worked over your foot in the most sinfully innocent way, making you hot and near dripping with anticipation.

“I hardly know where to begin,” he murmured. His lips connected with the inside of your ankle, pressing soft and taunting kisses over your skin.

You watched as his kisses gradually drifted up your calf. You couldn’t help but shift in his hold, encouraging him to continue his exploration.

His eyes locked with yours, the soft brown like dark, rich honey. With a painful deliberateness, he slowly sank to his knees before you. His lips continued their journey along the inside of your thigh, as if he were determined to map every bit of you. You sighed in contentment at the feeling of him on your skin. He always made you feel good, but he was taking extra care to make sure you were totally relaxed.

The hands that held your leg traveled in the same direction of his lips, dragging the fabric of your dress up your thighs until he reached where he could no longer push it up without your help. Without so much as a word from him, you lifted your hips and he urged the tight satin to bundle around your waist.

In the same moment he hissed a breath against the skin of your inner thigh.

“No underwear?” His eyes had darkened as they snapped to yours. You grinned wickedly even through the burning in your cheeks at his hungry gaze.

“You dirty mama,” he nearly groaned against you as he lightly bit down on your sensitive skin. The way his teeth felt against your skin caused a shaking moan to escape your lips. You could feel yourself getting wetter with every second that your husband knelt before you, teasing you with his mouth but never reaching exactly where you wanted him.

His breath fanned over you as he took the sight in of you laid out before him, your dress hiked up over your hips. Completely at his mercy. You watched him kneeling between your legs like a sinner at the altar.

“You’re not full?” you asked, grinning slightly at the starved and longing look plastered on his face. He didn’t catch the joke and arched a confused eyebrow at you.

“From dinner. You’re not full?” you asked again and your eyes tracked between his face and where he had just been staring. His following chuckle was dark and raspy.

“Oh sugar,” he said as he sucked another hickey into the inside of your leg. “I’m just getting started.”

With that, his hands firmly grabbed the outsides of your thighs, pulling them apart while his tongue dragged a long and languid stripe up your folds. A breathy, satisfied moan escaped your lips as he continued to dedicate his tongue to you.

Jake was relentless. His fingers dug into your legs, pinning them open and making it impossible for you to squirm away from him. His breathing was heavy as he lapped at your entrance. He sucked your clit into his mouth with a confidence that years of trust and learning each other’s tastes and wants had bonded you together with. Your breath hitched in your throat and your hips tried to lift of their own volition.

Before they could even move an inch, your husband’s thumbs dug into the tops of your hips, pulling them down and pinning them to the mattress. You bit your lip to suppress your moan at his complete control over you. One of your hands found its way into his hair and you pulled at it slightly while you grinded into his face.

His tongue was warm against you and he knew exactly where to tease you to have you completely writhing under him. He alternated between licking you and sucking your clit into his warm mouth, the pressure making your insides burn deliciously. Your fingers tightened in his hair, pulling a groan from his lips. The vibration mixed with the delicate scratch of his facial hair over your skin had you squeezing your eyes closed to take in the full pleasure.

“Jake,” you moaned as your fingers continued to massage into his hair.

“Mmm,” he hummed as one of his hands moved from your hip to where his mouth was focused, dragging two fingers up and down your folds in time with his licks.

The stars that erupted behind your closed eyes at his taunting touch had you crying out and then biting your lip to silence the sound. Your legs quivered around his head as he took those two fingers, now fully coated in your slick and his saliva, and teased them at your entrance.

He moaned into you as his fingers slid easily into you.

“Mmm,” he said again. “So warm.”

Though you tried to keep your eyes on the beautiful man kneeling in front of you, worshiping your body, you couldn’t stop your eyes from rolling in pleasure and tossing your head back as his skilled fingers hit that perfect spot within you.

He had teased you long enough, getting you ready for him long before he actually touched you. All evening, his teasing touches and innocent kisses along your skin, a sinful promise of what he had in store for you.

“You’re so gorgeous babe,” he rasped against your thigh. His thumb had replaced where his mouth had been on your clit as he kissed along the sensitive skin of your thighs, catching his breath. You couldn’t find words as his fingers kept their rhythm inside you, all you could manage was a whine at his praise.

“Give it to me, love.” His voice was smokey and dark. “Just relax and give into it.”

His thumb pressed hard into your sensitive flesh and his fingers moved expertly inside you, reaching further and urging you towards your release.

Your hand that wasn’t tangled in his hair reached down towards him. Your husband knew that since he couldn’t kiss you from that angle, you wanted another point of contact to ground you when you came. He interlaced his free hand with yours, kissing your knuckles. It was an innocent gesture which greatly contrasted with the actions of his other hand, but through it, you felt his utter love and devotion. You were completely surrounded by it.

Your orgasm crashed into you hard, leaving you gasping for air. Your husband’s fingers continued their movement, coaxing you through your high until they finally slowed with the heaving of your chest.

Jake lovingly kissed your hip, murmuring more words of praise as you fought to bring yourself back down to earth. He rose to his full height above you while a sweet and heavy feeling overtook your entire body. He smiled down at you, still sprawled across the bed, your dress now thoroughly wrinkled at your waist. Your eyes were heavy while watching him as he came down over you and kissed your face, starting at your neck, traveling over your jaw, until his breath fanned over your lips.

“Hi,” you said weakly, a sated smile on your lips. He chuckled and kissed you lightly.

“Hi.” His eyes crinkled with his returning smile. Lightly, his hands came to cradle your face, tucking a bit of hair behind your ears and tracing loving patterns into your skin as he stared at you.

After a few moments to catch your breath, his loving gaze began to heat your blood once more. You leaned towards him, capturing his lips with your own. He smiled as you deepened the kiss, stabilizing one hand on the bed beside your head when you grasped onto the back of his neck, pulling him closer to you.

Though Jake would be thoroughly happy to pleasure you with nothing in return, you were eager to treat him after the wonderful night he had planned out for you.

Your fingers trailed down his neck, clutching at the lapels of the jacket he still wore. As quickly as you could, you yanked him towards the space on the bed next to you without breaking the kiss, catching him by surprise. Within the same move with his back now on the sheets, you swung a leg over his hips to straddle him.

“That was fancy,” he chuckled, fully pinned to the mattress.

A wicked smile crept onto your face as you began grinding down onto him. You could feel how affected he was through his linen dress pants, his hips involuntarily trying to lift from the bed to find more friction.

His lips were plump from your kisses, but they felt perfect as he gently licked your bottom lip.

“Thank you,” you said onto his mouth.

“For what?” he laughed, his hands roaming over your hips and thighs, pulling you down over him.

“For tonight. For everything.”

“Everything,” he said with a teasing smile, “That covers a lot of ground. I must really be doing something right.”

You laughed and rolled your eyes.

“But I think your ‘thank you’ is too early,” he continued as he slid his hands up your waist and down your arms to where they still had a hold of his jacket. Without him needing to ask, you pushed the jacket off of him, leaning back for him to sit up slightly.

“Oh?” you replied, your fingers beginning to work on the dark red bowtie that you had gifted him. Your touch was gentle as you untied the fabric and pulled it from his collar, letting it dangle in front of him from a single finger.

Jake leaned forward once more, slowly taking the fabric hanging from your index finger between his teeth. You could feel your blood heat in your veins as he turned his head to the side and let the tie drop to the bed.

“Our night is far from finished.”

A fire danced in his eyes and you made quick work of the buttons on his dress shirt. It was far more than you were used to undoing, his everyday style usually in favor of leaving most of his shirt open. He watched your fingers move while he continued to pull your hips down to his, the moments of friction on your still sensitive flesh making it harder to focus on your task.

Finally, you slid your hands up his chest, moving your mouth to suck at the skin of his throat. He shuddered beneath you and gripped the back of your thighs with a shaky moan.

Between kisses on his neck you whispered to him exactly how you wanted him.

“I want to ride you.”

Catching his eye, you nodded up to the head of the bed, silently telling him to go and wait for you.

Jake couldn’t hide his smile as you leaned off of him so that he could move. You watched as his hands fumbled with the button of his pants, almost frantically trying to rid himself of them. His back rested half on the pillows and half on the headboard, waiting for you. He hissed in pleasure as he palmed himself through his underwear, keeping his gaze locked with yours as you slowly crawled up the bed.

You dragged your hand lightly over his cock, making his breath hitch as you teased him. Adjusting so that you were straddling him again, your fingers teased at the waistband of his underwear, pulling them off him and letting his cock spring free. Much to your delight, he was hard and leaking for you. You stroked him in your hand, barely applying any pressure. Below you, Jake’s chest heaved, his eyes closed in pure pleasure.

“Look at me baby,” you said to him as you kissed his jaw.

You were ready for him, he had treated you all night and now it was his turn to receive. Slowly, you dragged the head of his cock through your folds. His hands gripped the backs of your thighs while he watched, like a starved man, as his cock easily sunk into you with the slight movement of your hips. His eyebrows pinched together as you brought yourself up and then let gravity pull you back down.

Jake’s moans were like music in your ears. The music that all his fans wanted to hear but only you had the privilege to. Even after years of your steady relationship, you never got tired of the feeling. The feeling of him. Warm and hard inside you, filling you up. Stretching you out.

You moved a bit faster, taking one hand to grab the top of the headboard to give you more leverage. Whimpering as he moved inside you, you felt him deeper and deeper with each push of your hips.

“Wait a second, sugar,” he bit out. His bottom lip was tucked between his teeth as if the words coming out of his mouth were the last thing that he really wanted to do.

Your eyebrows creased in mild confusion but you did what he asked, letting yourself sink all the way onto him and coming to a stop. You could feel him twitch inside you as you held him and he groaned at his own frustration.

“What?” you asked, running your fingers through his hair, encouraging another twitch of his cock within you.

He moaned at your teasing touch but dragged his hands up your sides.

“I still have a promise to uphold,” he said, catching your eye and holding it while his fingers expertly found the small zipper at your back. You grinned at him as you sat there, so close to him, his fingers grazing over your exposed back until the zipper was all the way down. Jake leaned up and kissed the underside of your jaw. Soft moans escaped your lips as he stroked up and down your spine, basking in the feeling of your skin and your warmth. His lips sucked at the skin of your throat, slowly making their way to your collarbones. His taunting kisses had you squirming in his hold, shifting your hips.

Groaning loudly at the feeling of his cock moving inside you, he pressed his forehead in between your breasts and tried to take deep breaths to steady himself. Once your hips had settled on him once more, his hands found your shoulders, the collar of the dress slowly dragging down your arms to reveal your breasts.

His mouth followed where his hands trailed, taking his time to rub circles into your nipples and bite at the soft flesh. You gasped when his teeth sunk into you then quickly kissed and licked away the hurt.

The dress was fully open, hanging limp at your waist.

“Arms up beautiful,” your husband rasped in your ear as he gathered the fabric.

The satin scratched delightfully at your overheated skin as he pulled it up and over your body, leaving you fully revealed to him. Dropping the dress to the floor, he sighed as he took you in fully.

“My love,” he said as his hands came to rest on your hips, his gaze roving over your face, your chest, until they came to where you were connected. With his attention fully held, you lifted yourself up, already missing the feeling of him filling you. His fingers tightened on you while he hissed through his teeth at the stimulation. You grabbed the headboard again and pushed your hips down. Hard.

“That’s it sugar,” he moaned, guiding your hips and meeting your downward thrusts with upward strokes of his own. Your jaw hung open with heavy pants as you worked him deep into you, the feeling even richer after he made you hold it off.

Your muscles burned in the best way and you bit back a moan with your bottom lip between your teeth when he hit a particularly delicious spot.

“Hey,” he grunted. Detaching one of his hands from your hip, his thumb found your chin and pulled it down to him, freeing your lip from its place between your teeth. He kissed you hard while continuing to thrust into you. “I want to hear you,” he said in between kisses. “No kids in the house tonight, so I want to hear all of it.”

You quivered in his hold, his thumb still pressing into your chin.

“Understood?” he asked. His eyes burned with lust and he melted you with his stare. You nodded obediently, leaning in to kiss him again.

In a moment similar to one that had come before, Jake gripped your waist and you were suddenly flipped onto the bed under him in one fluid motion. You gasped as he continued to thrust into you.

“I said,” he murmured into your ear, “Do you understand?” Delicately he dragged your earlobe with his teeth, making you shiver and gasp.

“Yes–Yes I understand,” you stuttered, the mix of pleasure from his mouth, his cock, and his words making you dizzy. His smile was wicked as he dragged in and out of you.

You did exactly as you were told. With each movement of his hips against yours, unbridled cries of pleasure escaped your lips.

Jake found a rhythm above you, steadily pounding into you as your eyes rolled back with the feeling of him. You didn’t see him move his hand until you felt it pushing into your lower stomach.

“You feel me here sugar?” he asked and you cried out at the pressure, nodding furiously, obscenities falling from your lips. You could feel with each thrust against your cervix, where his cock seemed to meet the weight of his fingers. The soft flesh of your belly so warm and sensitive. His satisfied grin quickly faded into a gasp as his teasing touch caused you to tense around him, tightly clenching his cock.

“You’re doing so good, baby. You sound so pretty,” he praised, kissing your sweaty forehead as you panted. More of those sounds spilled from your lips, each one getting higher in pitch as he urged you towards your second release.

Lightly, his fingers trailed from your stomach to circle your clit in taunting circles, keeping time with his hard thrusts.

The moan that escaped you would’ve made you blush if you weren’t so lost in the pleasure of him. Jake was hitting you so right. He was so in tune to your body, it was easy for him to find that spot that made you hum and shake. His fingers swirled faster and rougher circles into your clit, making your back arch off the sheets and into his sweaty chest.

“Jake,” you moaned out, your nails clawing lines into his biceps. “I’m close.” Your words were barely audible as you gasped for air.

“I know, love. I know.” His breathing was just as uneven as your own and when you looked up at him, his eyes were screwed shut in pleasure and his mouth hung slightly open.

“Cum with me,” you panted and you could feel the force of your orgasm just within reach. Jake’s hips stuttered at your request and both his hands found your knees, pushing them open to reach even further into you.

He cried out as he finally released into you at the same moment your walls clenched and fluttered on their own accord. The pleasure covered your whole body, making you lightheaded and you drifted in the feeling for much longer than you normally did. Distantly, you could hear his shuddering moans mixed with your cries as you both found your release together.

You could feel his release warming you from the inside, the force of his orgasm dripping down your ass and onto the sheets as his hips finally worked their way to a stop.

Every part of him was shaking as he tried to carefully lower himself without crushing you. He usually shook after he came, but the force of his tremors made you smile and drag your fingers soothingly up and down his back. His head laid in the crook of your neck as he let out an exhausted sigh.

The two of you laid there, enveloped in each other’s warmth for a long while.

Slowly, your breathing evened out and your heartbeats slowed enough for you to lift your head and place soft kisses on his temple.

“Babe,” you whispered. He groaned half heartedly. “Your cum is dripping down my leg.”

That got his attention. He lifted his head and cocked one eyebrow at you, dragging his gaze down to where his release was creating a small puddle on the sheets.

“Yeah, but you like it like that right?” He smirked at you when you scoffed and reluctantly pulled himself off you on still slightly shaky arms. He kissed your lips lightly before making his way to the bathroom to get a washcloth. You propped your head on your hand to watch his perfect ass as he walked away.

Sensing your eyes on him, he looked over his shoulder at you and winked devilishly. You laughed before flopping back onto the bed, thoroughly sore.

When he returned with the warm washcloth, you could hear the bath running in the next room. He delicately dragged the cloth up and down your legs before taking your hand to help you sit up. You couldn’t help but smile at his chivalry.

“You think you can walk, sugar?” he teased, kissing you again. You rolled your eyes but tried your best not to wobble as you took a small step towards the bathroom. “You go get in the bath, I’ll be right behind you.”

When you looked in the bathroom mirror, your makeup was surprisingly not as smudged as you’d expected, though your face was flushed and sweaty. The bathwater was the perfect warmth and Jake had put in some lavender bath salts that felt glorious against your skin as you sunk into the tub. A few minutes later he opened the door, two glasses of wine in his hands. You smiled as he handed you one and leaned forward, letting him settle behind you.

It felt perfect to be cradled between his legs, your head resting on his chest as he dragged his fingers lovingly up your arms.

“Jake,” you said, breaking the comfortable silence you had fallen into.

“Hmm?”

“I think Uncle Josh needs to start hosting more sleepovers.”

Jake laughed, his chest rumbling against your ear. He kissed the top of your head lightly.

“You got it, sugar.”

-JNR

[mastermindmp3]

If you just want the song analysis, skip to the next banner. However, I do think the context added by my rambling is at least interesting.

Hey, so remember how yesterday, I opened my analysis post with a comment about how I try to analyze the songs without analyzing Taylor Swift's life, because I feel it's limiting to my ability to understand the song. It's not a form of analysis I'm very good at either, frankly.

I feel like that comment goes especially so for But Daddy I Love Him. Because I was certainly there for the rat-filled fortnight, as in, he literally played guitar for Phoebe Bridgers at my show. And there's a lot I could say that has already been said, more eloquently and by people far more qualified.

I'm a biology student, not a sociologist. But as an Indigenous woman, there is a level of hurt that comes from the people we admire tolerating racism within their spaces, and how that can often play into revealing a pattern of behavior. On the opposite hand, I can see the annoyance (and indignation) that she was held more accountable for his actions than he was. Indeed, I believe that this is what the line "[My good name] is mine alone to disgrace" refers to. On the other, other hand, the whole situation leaves a powdery, bad taste in my mouth.

And now to never talk about that again, because I don't feel qualified to give you a conclusion on it. I'm still listening to the music, after all. The rest of my analysis will be from the perspective of the song as a story, not as diary, my preferred modus operandi.

I wanted to say all that as set up in: I didn't know what to think about this song. I was unsure what angle I wanted to talk about this song from, because divorcing it from the backlash was hard. She literally says "Scandal does funny things to pride," and we'll talk about that later.

Initially, I thought about covering against the grain readings. Recontextualizing the song completely, giving it a new meaning. I thought about maybe covering the history of forbidden romance as a genre (and its many evolutions, from ironically, interracial love stories to queer romance.) I even thought about talking about the Little Mermaid, tying the song into one of the pieces of iconic fiction, and tying that back into the idea of forbidden romance as a queer reading of straight fiction (Howard Ashman, the lead lyricist for Disney, ostensibly the heart of the Disney Renaissance, was a gay man whose partner accepted his Oscar after he had passed due to AIDs.)

And... none of that worked. There are like, five versions of this post in my google docs that will never see the light of day.

Sitting in standstill traffic trying to leave last night's Hozier concert, I finally came to a conclusion. Well, I didn't. Jean, who's previously helped me on both Little Tortured Poet's Department and My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys, made a comment that "Without the rest of the album, [But Daddy I Love Him] reads like any 2003 emo song about a sleazy bassist. Sure, we know better, but the singer doesn't."

And that got me thinking: TTPD is an album that is very much in conversation with itself, and Taylor's discography as a whole. I said, "How much does not knowing that wider context change the song?" That's an angle to analyze, baby!

alternative title that wouldn't leave my mind: Dark AU!Love Story, don't like don't read

But Daddy I Love Him is, out of the whole album, the song that benefits from context the most. It is petulant, petty, the speaker digging in her heels on the subject of true love. Indeed, Scandal does funny things to pride. I jokingly referred to it as "Dark Love Story," but the songs are foils ( and likely intentionally, since both songs have to the singer begging "Daddy" to let her have her lover. It also makes sense to foil one of her most popular songs, so that general audiences are likely to make the connection. )

We, the audience, know that the Speaker's romantic interest isn't good for her. We don't like him, because likely, we've already listened to the previous songs on the tracklist, and he's already clearly hurt the singer. The prelude (in the CD and Vinyl booklets) refers to the album as one story, which helps set up this framework in the listener's mind.

However, even in the context of the song, there are scant hints of this. The Speaker, with her rose colored glasses firmly on, still refers to her lover as "crazy."

There's also an interesting tie to her older works, known affectionately on Reddit as Car Lore in the use of cars as metaphor for romance. To quote the seminal essay by u/Alex_Demote, "But for Taylor, being in a car is often the same thing as being in a relationship."

Here, the speaker's lover "[floors] it through the fences" at her request and they only hear "screeching tires and true love" His actions are incredibly dangerous. Even if she's told him to slam through the fence, anyone who actually loves her would say no. A joy ride isn't worth risking your life.

By literal laws of physics, screeching tires are tires that aren't moving. Whether the speaker knows it or not, this romance won't go anywhere, or if it does... well.

I'm an Aston Martin that you steered straight into the ditch (imgonnagetyouback) / Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street (Red) / You were driving the getaway car, we were flying but we’d never get far (Getaway Car)

Though, do we know it's a car? Obviously, this is Car Lore I'm applying here, but our only other references to a land vehicle (aside from the Aston Martin, which is The Speaker) are in So High School, which has it's own parallels to But Daddy I Love Him, see below, and in imgonnagetyouback:

Whether I'm gonna be your wife or / Gonna smash up your bike, I haven't decided yet

And here comes my main point: Driving a car through a fence is reckless, yes, but not likely to be fatal. A bike? A bike? It's only with the context of the rest of the album that the danger our speaker was in comes into clear view. In the song itself, the Speaker only knows he's a bit of a troublemaker, but doesn't mind. She is either blind to the truth of the matter, or looking past it. After all, my boy only breaks his favorite toys. She'd rather burn her whole life down.

But, at the end of the song, her parents "came around" and while the "wine moms are still holding out," the Speaker seems quite happy to be "his lady." Time does give some perspective, but this song doesn't: though the final chorus could be reframed as about a new lover (as she says "Fuck 'em, it's over,") it still reads like everything worked out with her "wild boy."

Like I said on Down Bad, the songs on TTPD are slices of time. This song is the Speaker in a state of blind love, a poisoned honeymoon phase, and without the rest of the album of hindsight, the song just reads... Mean. The teenage prank of "I'm having his baby," refusing to "come to [her] senses," and even referring to herself as "not growing up at all," slamming through fences that someone else will have to fix. It's the exact kind of pettiness that a sixteen year old might pull.

Hey, speaking of sixteen: So High School. If But Daddy I Love Him is a dark take on forbidden love, So High School is its antidote, is that quintessential Boy Meets Girl, and plays deeply into high school cliches. It's also the only other mention of a land vehicle, to my knowledge. The speaker's infatuated with how her lover, "Got [her] car door, isn't that sweet?"

The other, very teenager-y love song on the record is so opposite. It's cheerful, and most importantly, the singer realizes it too. So High School serves to further contextualize But Daddy I Love Him as the speaker's attempt at a rebellious stage, and the rest of the album is her showing how it all crashed and burned.

Conclusion? Her daddy might love him, but he does NOT have land vehicle proficiency. And context can give far more perspective than time ever could.

also hey WDYM GET BACK HERE—

[bangtanhoneys]

Lights Will Guide You Home - Seokjin & Grace

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

Fix You - Coldplay

Mandatory military service.

18-24 months of service required of all able-bodied South Korean men aged 18 to 28.

Delayed so Kim Seokjin could continue being a member of BTS but now entering as a private citizen, not a member of Bangtan Sonyeondan.

It brought heartbreak to millions, no one more so than Grace Chu.

Of course, in private, this decision had been discussed and made very early on. Many discussions had taken place that Jin wanted to go into the military after their Maps of the Soul tour but then COVID hit, Butter and Dynamite arrived, Permission to Dance on Stage and then the FESTA announcement of their solo projects and then finally, finally, Busan.

Every time he had planned to go, there was a pushback and a delay and now he was finally going, December 13th 2022.

Privately, Grace had accepted it and had done her goodbyes to her boyfriend of four years. Together they had worked through their problems of being a couple and being in the biggest band ever seen, of Seokjin's insecurities of not being good enough, of Grace's problems with her identity. Together they had been through it all but now it would just be Grace, who would have to go through this another seven times.

It was the worst kind of heartache - knowing your loved one was only hours away yet on the front lines, limited phone calls or texts, days off were only a day and she wouldn't see him properly until 2024. Until that time, her schedule was packed to the rim with her own projects such as an album, a tour, photoshoots, contracts with designers, meetings and more. There wouldn't be time to understand the loss of one of her biggest supporters, there wouldn't be time to adjust to having none of them there.

It was a horrid awareness Grace was experiencing as she and the rest of BTS were saying goodbye.

Of course, they all put on brave faces, as they each took pictures with Seokjin and goofed off for the BANGTAN BOMB camera. It was easy to slip into the public persona even in front of families to starve off tears that threatened to spill over.

Hobi, understanding what was needed, managed to drag Jimin and Taehyung to distract the camera long enough for the couple to have their private moment (or as private as it was going to get).

"I'll contact you the moment I can," Seokjin's voice was muffled behind the mask he wore as he pulled Grace to his chest, allowing her to hide her face in it even if more a moment.

"And I'll keep you and ARMY updated as often as I can. Don't let Jungkook distract you too much, and work hard and send me photos of where you're going. And I'll make sure the guys are safe too. Oh and don't forget to eat, go home and see your parents and look after Min-Ji."

"Are you going away or am I?" Grace asked, chuckling as she reached up to use the cuff of her coat to wipe her cheeks. "And Jungkook won't leave me alone, I think he's pretty much moved in at this point."

It was just as hard for Jungkook. It had always been joked around that Seokjin was one of the main reasons Jungkook had stayed in BTS, he was the one who had raised the fifteen-year-old, helped him do his homework, take him to school, put up with his antics, and was Jungkook's safe place. He had been silent the whole day since they all arrived, barely able to say a word or two but he didn't need to.

Seokjin knew Jungkook's silence better than anyone.

I'll miss you. Don't get hurt and hurry back because it's going to hurt without you.

And Grace was exactly the same.

I'll miss you. I love you. Don't leave but I know you have to so hurry back because I can't do this life without you.

Seokjin pressed a kiss to Grace's forehead, knowing he couldn't do what he wanted to do while in front of everyone. But he didn't need to because Grace knew it all behind that kiss - I'll miss you as well and I'm proud of you.

Grace pulled away to let the boys continue their goodbyes and she used Namjoon's huge frame to take a moment to wipe her tears, to compose herself and slip back into her stage persona. Because it was easier to show that than it was to show what she was truly feeling.

Alone.

Namjoon glanced over his shoulder and gave his noona a gentle nudge to the shoulder, giving her his silent support. Yoongi came wandering over and reached up, making sure her mask was in place and gave her a look to say 'You've got this. We're here.'

Finally, Seokjin was called over to begin his entrance ceremony and Grace felt a hand slip into hers. She looked up to see the youngest, his eyes just as watery as hers even underneath that bucket hat and she gave his hand a squeeze back. Under his breath, he began humming Jin's Astronaut song causing her to smile.

It would hurt to do this seven more times, it would hurt to say goodbye over and over again and it would hurt to be standing on stage as the only member of BTS remaining but the countdown began to 2025 when all of them would be back in Grace's arms and they would be all together again.

She just had to wait. 

Note: Listen to Fix You by Coldplay and Jin's The Astronaut while reading this. I did that and I made myself cry.

[jeonjungkookenthusiast1997]

Echoes of the Past (3) - Chasing Distant Memories

Summary: After waking Chan up rather abruptly Y/N decides looking through some family photo albums could give them some answers. Who knows, this could be the moment that starts to change everything

Do not repost or translate my work!

Moodboard made by me! 😁

Content Warnings - cursing, sleepy Chan (yes that does need a trigger warning 🤭), flash backs, deep conversations, lots of feelings, Chan's demon form makes an appearance

Word Count: 4,135

Series Masterlist Navigation

Y/N awoke the next morning as rays of light streak through the gaps in her curtains, she rubs the palms of her hands against her eyes before rolling onto her side as she contemplates everything that happened last night. 

She got drunk with her friends and attempted to summon a demon 

She actually succeeded at summoning said demon to find that he knew who she was

She's a witch, her whole family in fact are witches and her mother had her memories erased by a powerful warlock

She has a soulmate and that soulmate happens to be a demon

She sighs softly, closing her eyes ``yup, that about covers it" she huffs as she pulls her sheets over her body before suddenly shooting upright in her bed… Bang Chan. He should still be downstairs. Y/N jumps out of bed, runs down her stairs and stops suddenly when she reaches the closed door to her living room. Taking a few deep breaths she opens the door as quietly as she can and slips inside, her eyes scan the room everything seemingly in order before her gaze falls onto her sofa with a sleeping Bang Chan splayed over it; his large body clearly far too big for the small furniture set. 

Y/N watches him like that for a few moments as she takes in his features. His platinum blonde hair has been lightly tousled from sleep, his face looks delicate and at peace as he rests. Looking down she notices he slept in his clothes making her brow furrow 'that can't have been comfortable', they would have to come up with better sleeping arrangements than this for the demon. For some reason the need to touch the sleeping demon overtakes her rational thoughts as gently she reaches out for his face, her fingers move some of his fringe away from his closed lids when suddenly a hand flies up to her wrist stopping her as Chan's eyes bolt open with his heart beating erratically. 

The startled demon blinks a few times, eyes flitting around the room before realising where he is, with a soft sigh he releases her wrist letting it drop to her side as a teasing smile sneaks onto his face "what are you doing?" His voice comes out raspy and deep as a look of sheer horror floods Y/N's face causing her to shake her head rapidly "I wasn't doing anything weird! I promise! I was just… you had-" Bang Chan watches amused as she stumbles over her words, nodding for her to continue trying to find a reasonable explanation "your hair fell over your eyes. I was just…moving it?" Her reasoning comes across as more of a question than a statement but given her clear embarrassment the demon decides to let it slide. Chan reaches his arms above his head as his bone crack loudly "sure sure" he plays along with a smile "how helpful of you" he snorts as she covers her face groaning loudly. 

Once Bang Chan has sat up and is readjusting his clothes she speaks up softly "to be honest I wasn't sure you'd still be here" his lips curve into a frown at her words "I wasn't even totally sure the whole thing hadn't been a dream, so thank you for still being here and proving I'm not insane I guess" the way her eyes slide off to the side make Chan shake his head in almost exasperation "I promised I'd still be here didn't I? I never break my promises, especially to you…" his own words trail off as he treads carefully with what he tells her "right yeah… soulmates" she adds while biting her lip. Y/N joins Chan on her sofa with her hands placed in her lap "I had hoped I'd remember something by the time I woke up" his body perks up as she talks "but no dice, sorry" both of their faces drop in disappointment, the blonde demon clears his throat "no need to apologise, it can't be helped. It's only been one night after all" she sighs slightly while, yes, it had only been one night it was still a frustrating situation to be left in. 

Suddenly a thought enters her mind as she snaps her fingers catching Chan's attention "do you think looking through old photo albums could help?" He thinks over her words for a moment before smiling "could do yeah, all we can do is try" at his confirmation that it could help, she races off upstairs to find the precious books. After a few long minutes she returns downstairs carefully holding two slightly dusty books, with a proud smile she presents them to the demon to take out of her arms so they can look through the scrapbooks together.

Y/N and Chan get through the first book with little success the only photos to be found cover the first 3 years of her life, the pages holding nothing but sweet childhood memories "sorry Chan" she mutters "we still have one more to look through though" she tries to keep up a good and hopeful atmosphere but she can see his mood starting to sour slightly, his cheerful comments about how cute she was as a toddler becoming less frequent. Y/N tenderly picks up the second book slowly turning the pages, her eyes scanning every photo and note just in case. She's about to turn to the next page when Chan's hand reaches out to stop her, there's a deep scowl adorning his face as he points to a young looking man with perfectly pretty features. 

Y/N notes that he has platinum blonde hair, something akin to Chan's not that she would say that openly, his eyes a vibrant shade of green with black slits in the middle of his eyes much like a cat though it's a little hard to make out anything else with the bad quality of the photo but she does notice his slightly sharpened canines "that's Park Jimin" she's about to comment on his unique looks but decides not to given how dark Chan's eyes have gotten. Y/N takes the photo out of its protective holder to examine it "y'know I'm kinda surprised my mum left this in here given how hard she worked to make sure I wouldn't have any involvement in this world" she turns the photo over in her hand, noticing Chan nodding along through her peripheral vision. On the back of the photo is written 'Jimin and 'mothers name' at Pandemonium, October 2001' Chan takes the photo out of her hand "Pandemonium huh? Makes sense that's Jimin’s club" Y/N makes a non commitment hum as she puts the photo back to continue flicking through the pictures. 

The duo get through a few more pages before Y/N's eyes drop to a set of photos which look like they were taken at a pumpkin patch, there's several photos of her as a child hunting through the field with her button nose tinted red and her hair in bunches. She smiles at the memories even if they are slightly hazy, she turns to Chan to explain "this day was one of the best moments I can remember from being a child, it was so fun hunting for the best pumpkins to carve and…" she turns her head to face Chan when she notices his eyes are cold and unreadable, his body stiff as he stares at the photos "Chan?" Her voice is quiet as she reaches out to touch his arm. 

Bang Chan jumps a little at the feeling of her hand squeezing his arm "how much of this day do you remember?" His voice is unwavering but something about his tone doesn't sit right with the young woman "to be honest, not a whole lot but when I look at these pictures a warm and happy feeling fills my heart… I know that probably sounds stupid but" Chan clears his throat stopping her train of thought "not stupid at all" his eyes are still somewhat cold but something akin to hope shines through. Y/N is about to ask him why he questioned her memories of that particular day when a stray polaroid falls to the fall between their feet, she bends to pick it up with Chan is quicker carefully lifting the photo to his eyes as he gasps holding the photo to her with a slight shaking hand. She takes the photo and instantly realises why he'd looked so shocked; the photo showed Y/N the same way as the others, with a big smile on her little cheeks, but this photo showed a young boy next to her. His blonde hair has some yellow leaves attached to the strands, a bright and proud smile is stretched over his pink cheeks and he's holding a pumpkin between both of their bodies. Y/N's breath catches in her throat as she gulps "is this…" Bang Chan nods slowly "yeah… that's us" he breathes out with a heavy sigh, her jaw drops open slightly at the revelation. It feels almost surreal they finally have some tangible proof of what Chan has been telling her 'so why does he look so sad?' she thinks as she reaches out to hold his hand. 

Chan doesn't say anything else for a moment he just holds a look of sadness on his face, finally he nudges her arm urging her to turn the photo over to see if there's anything written on the back. With a shaking hand she does so, turning the photo over and surely enough in black pen are the words 'Y/N and Bang Chan's pumpkin patch adventure, October 2002'. Y/N looks at Chan confused "if she was so set on erasing my memories, why keep this?" She asks him "perhaps she forgot about this photo or maybe it held too many memories for even her to completely erase" he suggests with sadness lacing his words. 

Y/N holds the photo close to her chest as a strange sense of familiarity spreads through her limbs, she's about to call out to Chan when suddenly in her mind's eye she watches a scene from her childhood play out. 

A younger version of herself as fat tears rolling down her chubby cheeks, she's sobbing as a younger Chan holds her in his arms "I'm sure it was an accident Y/N" he tries to soothe but she shakes her head "no! That boy destroyed my pumpkin on purpose!" She cries harder as her face is pulled into Chan's chest, he's rocking her back and forth while rubbing her back "we can find another one" the young blonde tries to reason "we can carve that one together so it'll be even more special" he smiles at he wipes the tears from her cheeks.

Y/N blinks rubbing her eyes hard as the scene before her eyes morphs again, later that same day another memory unfolds this time it shows the pair sat side by side at a table carving a new and bigger pumpkin

Bang Chan's soft giggles sound out into the cold autumnal air as he watches Y/N trying to make marks into the vegetable, with a huff and her arms crossed at her chest she grumbles "I can't do it! I give up!" The young demon shakes his head as she turns away. Chan suddenly lifts his hand, the familiar red sparks of his magic filling the air, he uses his finger to carve a funny face into the tough skin smiling with satisfaction when he's done. He lifts the pumpkin in the air and floats it over to her smiling shyly as he presents it to her "a pumpkin for you…my pumpkin" he giggles as a screech of happiness fills the air "I love it Channie!" The girl grins as she hugs the shy boy.

As her eyes adjust to being back in the real world she notices Chan knelt at the side with a frown on his face "Y/N?what happened? I was shouting your name but you weren't resp-" she stops him short with she whispers "I remember" the air between them becoming tense. His eyes widen a fraction as he stutters out a 'what?' "I remember this…" she points to the photos at the pumpkin patch "you called me your pumpkin just like you did last night" she blushes at the memory. Bang Chan's heart thuds harshly in his chest at her words "you remember…" his words trail off as a blush dusts his cheeks at her mentioning the nickname he'd given her as a child "I'm sorry about last night… I shouldn't have called you that, I just couldn't help myself after not seeing you again after so long" his eyes drop down slightly as she moves closer to him, her fingers run over his cheek with feather light touches ``don't apologise please, I like it" she whispers. 

His eyes flick up at her words and before he can realise what he's doing, his eyes are trained on her lips with his head inching closer. Their lips are about to touch when suddenly Y/N's tummy rumbles making Chan laugh softly, he pulls away shaking his head "we haven't made breakfast yet I almost forgot" disappointment coats her tongue as she covers her face groaning "will I ever stop embarrassing myself around you?" She whines as he laughs at her "come on" he smiles and tugs her hand pulling her into her kitchen. 

Y/N sits herself on one of her kitchen counters as Chan busies himself with grabbing a pan "how does pancakes sound?" A sound of appreciation leaves her body as she licks her lips almost able to taste the food "oh yum I love pancakes" he chuckles softly as he comments "I know, I remember you devouring them nearly every morning" her eyes a fraction at his words "I keep forgetting you know more about me than I know about you, I didn't even know demons could or needed to cook" bending down to grab some ingredients from her fridge he decides to give her a little more knowledge on his kind "we don't have to eat as much as humans do or the same things humans do it's more of a personal choice. I spent so much time here though as a kid that I got a taste for it" Y/N smiles at that, they seemed to be thick as thieves when they were younger given what she could tell from the brief memory she was able to claw back from the deep abscesses of her mind. Chan sets about making the pancake mix quickly, setting the batter into the pan in almost perfect circles before turning to face her “I have to admit i practised making these, wanted to perfect the process in case I got the chance to make them for you” by the time he had finished his sentence his back was turned to her once again as he focused on not burning the food, Y/N could still just make out the light red hue that had taken over the tips of his ears and she found that little fact rather endearing. With the pancakes almost done Y/N jumps down off the bench to grab two plates and places them across from each other at a little table she had in her kitchen, once everything was plated up and they were sat across from each other Y/N decided she wanted to know more about his parents and the soulmate bond they shared “so your mum and dad, did they say much about the situation when i seemingly stopped summoning you? I mean that must have come outta the blue right? I'm kind of surprised no-one came looking for an explanation” Chan takes a big bite of one of the fluffy pancakes on his plate nodding as he swallowed “out of the blue is definitely on the money, you'd been summoning me pretty consistently that's why my mother told me about the bond in the first place” Y/N is watching Chan intently as he speaks “when that suddenly stopped and the pain made its appearance, my father was furious demanding answers. I was told he sent a messenger to your realm in search of you and your family, when he finally came back all I was told was that you didn't wanna see me anymore” his lips drop into a small frown at the clearly painful memories making Y/N frown in turn knowing she had inadvertently broken his heart, she reaches her hand over the table to rest on top of his “knowing my mum and what she's clearly capable of she probably just sent him away without ever seeing me. I'm so sorry Chan” he squeezes her hand in return “don't apologise you couldn't have done anything to stop this. I'm just glad I'm here now even if it was a mistake and your memories have been altered” they share a soft smile before they finish eating. Once they're both finished Y/N grabs the plates to clean “thank you for the pancakes, they were delicious' ' a proud smile crosses the demon's face making her giggle, for a demon he's very patient and sweet not what she would have expected at all, the thought burns at her chest as it makes her mothers betrayal even harder to understand. If Chan had been some vicious brute out to steal her soul and destroy Earth she could have justified it but he's not like that at all, since arriving here he's done everything to make sure she was comfortable going at her pace every step of the way. 

Y/N and Chan spend much of the rest of the day this way, looking for clues around the house and chatting about their lives since her last summoning of him. She told him all about school and college, all some of the short lived relationships she’d had which never panned out very well which was probably due to the demon in front of her to some extent. Chan had told her about his training to be a succubus and having to learn his place in the hierarchy of Hell, he even confessed he would sneak away from his home sometimes to check on her to make sure she was safe, happy and most importantly still alive. Confused by the last part of his stories she can’t help but question “if you could travel to the human realm that whole time, couldn't you have come to visit me?” a deep sigh leaves his body when she asks this “no unfortunately not, after we made contact with your mum she made me promise to never intervene with your life, to never come to you unless you called for me” Y/N’s eyes widen at this “that scheming witch!” shocked at her outburst Chan can't help but laugh “she made sure I wouldn't remember you and that you wouldn't come to find me! Oh I'm so going to kill her when I see her” Y/N may be joking but she is steaming with anger at the meddling in her future. Chan understands her anger and he feels it too but doesn't want the ugly feeling to ruin their bonding “it's frustrating I know that pumpkin but let's not dwell on this yeah?” his soft and patient smile coaxes her out of anger she was feeling helping to ground her in reality “yeah its shitty but at least we managed to find our way back to each other” Chan’s heart stutters in his chest at her words, the feeling fills his chest until he's pulling her into his arms and holding her close as her own heart beat speeds up.

Chan lets out a shuddered breath "exactly Y/N" Chan whispers softly with his face nuzzled against her hair, his strong arms holding her close "and now that we've found our way back to each other nothing can keep us apart" Chan can't help but close his eyes to savour the moment. He had waited for years to have the chance to hold her like this, it almost feels like a dream to him. Y/N pulls away slightly to look up into Chan's eyes as "thank you for not giving up hope on me, I know it hasn't even been one full day since I summoned you but" she gulps as he looks at her with a serious look on his face "I feel drawn to you, more so than I have with anyone else and I know it's because we're soulmates and we're magically linked but I didn't think I'd feel affected by it so soon" Chan nods in understanding with a soft smile "I feel it to, that your opening up to me. Feels like a warm hug is wrapped around my heart" Chan hesitantly moves his hand up to rub Y/N's cheek with his thumb. 

Y/N's eyes flutter shut with a sigh of contentment at the soft touch, her head leans into his hand as affection grips at her heart. Feeling her response, Chan's heart swells with happiness and love "thank you for trusting me pumpkin" he smiles with his cute dimples showing. Y/N opens her eyes at the term of endearment, her eyes drift down to Chan's plump lips resting there for a moment before looking back up to his face "no thank you for being so sweet to me even after all the hurt and time that has passed" Chan's other hand comes up to rest on her cheek, both hands rubbing small circles against her jaw "I've waited a long time for this moment, I won't let it slip away so easily" his leans in closer as his nose brushes with her own giving her time to pull away if she felt uncomfortable. Y/N leans in closing the gap between their bodies as she places a soft chaste kiss against Chan's lips, feeling the soft kiss Chan's heart leaps with joy. He responds gently, his lips pressing back against hers, their kiss slow and sweet as he pours his love into the kiss. His hands keep a gentle but firm hold on her face as he keeps her close. 

After a few tender moments Y/N pulls away to catch her breath, they both share a smile as Y/N rests her forehead against Chan's. Chan's eyes twinkle with happiness as he looks at the girl beside him, his heart swelling with love and contentment. He gently places a soft kiss on the tip of her nose, feeling her warmth seep into him "I'm guessing this means you won't mind me calling you pumpkin from now on" he grins cheekily as they pull away from each other slightly. Y/N giggles as she pushes his chest away playfully "no I wouldn't mind, I'd quite like it actually" she mumbles shyly Chan's grin grows wider at her response "you truly are something special pumpkin" he leans in again, this time for a tender kiss on her forehead before pulling back to maintain their close yet comfortable proximity.

After a long day they decide to order some food and decide on a Chinese take out, they sit side by side on her sofa watching Howl's Moving Castle which was one of Y/N's favourites. Y/N is cuddled into Chan's chest with his chin atop her head, his hand rubs slow circles into the skin of her hip and his eyes are closed in pure contentment. Y/N tilts her head slightly to look up at Chan's face "since you're a demon and everything do you have horns? Or a tail? Or wings?" Chan's eyebrow raise at her sudden questions but he laughs at her inquisitiveness "horns yes, a tail no and wings yes" her eyes twinkle with interest as he answers her "can I see?" A shocked sound leaves his throat as he shifts slightly to look at her "you really want to see?" Y/N nods her head with a grin on her face "unless you feel uncomfortable then please don't feel like you have to but yeah I'd like to see when you're happy enough to show me" Chan takes a moment to think over her request "I don't want to scare you pumpkin, you've just started to trust me…" Y/N's hands come to rest at his face looking earnestly into his unsure eyes "I promise I won't freak out or push you away" Bang Chan looks off back at the TV for a moment before closing his eyes, he takes a few deep breaths as his body starts to shift. 

First to make an appearance are his horns and they're absolutely beautiful, they twist upwards away from his head and are black but have an almost pink tint to the tips of his horns. Next are his wings, he has two smaller wings which protrude from his back. They're black and curved at the ends looking a lot like bat wings. The air between the two is somewhat tense as Y/N asks in a quiet voice "am I allowed to touch?" Chan doesn't answer her question for a few beats making her think she has offended him "yeah go for it" his voice is soft and calm but she can feel that he's uneasy probably not expecting this outcome from tonight. Y/N's hands reach out for his horns first, as delicately as she can she runs her fingers over the ridges that curve around his head memorising the feel of them against her hands. As her fingers reach the tips of his horns Bang Chan's body shivers slightly, his hands coming up to grip her wrists tightly. The sudden action makes Y/N gasp and she's about to start apologising when she notices how blown out his beautiful eyes are "my horns can be a little… sensitive" Chan gulps as he sucks his plump bottom lip between his teeth "should've warned you, sorry pumpkin" she quickly retracts her fingers while shaking her head "no no don't apologise! I'm sorry if I've made you feel uncomfortable Chan" a soft whine leaves his lips, so soft in fact Y/N almost doesn't hear it as Chan speaks quickly "not uncomfortable, please don't apologise" his body shifts away from her own slightly as his eyes look around the room, a soft blush painting his cheeks 'oh' she quickly realised what has happened as she rushes out her next words "I can stop if you'd like" Bang Chan wordlessly moves his her hands to his wings "it's okay, I want you to be comfortable around me no matter what form I'm in" her hands move on their own this time, she runs her fingers over the tips of his wings feeling the soft skin that rests there. Once Chan is happy Y/N's curiosity has been quenched he reverts back to his human form to avoid any more…incidents with his body. 

Y/N thanks Chan for indulging her then moves onto her next thought process "are you staying here again or will you be leaving to go home?" Now that he's calmed down a little Chan moves back to Y/N's side taking his place next to her "I'll stay here tonight if that's okay with you pumpkin," he responds with a soft smile "I promised to stay by your side and protect you, I can't do that from Hell'' she hums in affirmation "well I was thinking, I don't want you staying on the sofa" Chan's face drops slightly but he nods dutifully "okay yeah, I can find a nearby hotel or someth-" his rambling makes her giggle "no silly that wasn't what I meant! I want you to…stay upstairs with me, in my bed" at her words Chan's eyes widen almost bulging out of his head as he chokes slightly on his own saliva "w-what? Are you sure Y/N? I can manage on the sofa" Y/N smiles at his reaction but stays firm on her idea "I'd be much happier if you were sleeping somewhere better suited for your body and honestly I'd make me feel safer now I know what's out there in the world" Chan smiles fondly at her as he moves a lock of hair from her face to behind her ear, his fingers stroking over her jaw as he does "as long as it's what you want" as if on cue Y/N yawns rubbing her eyes. 

Chan stands and stretches letting out a groan, reaching his hand out to her "come on pumpkin, let's get you upstairs" Y/N nods and takes his hand gratefully. Y/N showers first, making sure to wash up a little more thoroughly than she usually would knowing Chan will be sleeping beside her. Once she's done she offers the shower to the demon who smiles at her offer taking her up on the opportunity to enjoy the hot water. Y/N leaves some baggy clothes for Chan to change into near the door then settles down into her sheets as she waits for him to finish and join her. 

Once he's done cleaning himself up he shuffles bashfully into her bed, slipping himself in behind her. Instinctively he wraps his arms around her waist pulling her body close, his nose nuzzles into her neck as he inhales her comforting scent. Y/N intertwines her fingers with his own as she snuggles her back against his chest "thank you for spending the day with me Chan" the demon is practically purring against her back as he enjoys the close contact his chest grumbling happily "of course pumpkin, I'd spend every day here in the human realm if I could spend it with you. Goodnight Y/N" he whispers as he places a soft kiss to her cheek "goodnight Chan" she replies as her eyes drift closed, safe in the knowledge her body is wrapped up closely against Chan's. 

Beautiful banners by @cafekitsune 💙

[sweetmariihs2]

How AURORA's album "The Gods We Can Touch" fits perfectly The Hunchback Of Notre Dame religious oppression theme —————— ⊹₊ ⋆. ♱ ₊˚ .⊹

I am NOT active in this fandom, but I have some things to say about it that might interest you guys. After this post I will go back to posting about my current fandom as always.

Basically, I watched The Hunchback of Notre Dame for the first time in my life last month because I'm hyperfocused on Disney films, specifically the classic 2D films.

It's a masterpiece, really, I wouldn't add anything to the story, everything it's just *chef's kiss*

BUT I WOULD LIKE TO MENTION THAT, ONE OF MY FAVORITE SINGERS, AURORA, HAS A WHOLE ALBUM ABOUT RELIGIOUS ABUSE AND NEGLIGENCE, PREJUDICE, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT and I just can't be normal about it

This album is called The Gods We Can Touch.

Yeah the title is pretty clear, while it's still open to interpretation. A huge part of this album is about religion, but also there is a huge part about respect, love and humanity, and she's not only inspired by christianity but also greek mythology. (Aurora says she loves the idea of imperfect gods, because this makes them closer to us, and maybe that's what the title is about. But she also says she sees God in the world around her, the love, the nature, the people, and maybe that's what she can touch. I don't know :/ let's go back to the Hunchback of Notre Dame stuff)

I won't go into detail about this right now, but we all know that there are many (many) people who use faith as an excuse to commit atrocities like Frollo, and this album is about that, I'm not really good at explaining so showing works better for me, some of Aurora's takes are:

The way people use religion to often demonize human behaviors, such as sexuality;

We need to choose between what's right or wrong, there's no in between, which is... questionable;

(Some) People use religion to opress, disrespect and blame anyone who's just living a free life;

And Aurora doesn't like to explain her lyrics, she leaves them up for interpretation. Although their meanings are really clear, I personally see these songs as an ironic criticism of these oppressions, not so much about God himself, but about the people who use his name to oppress. (She's an atheist, so I HIGHLY believe that she's talking about God himself, her lyrics seem to be talking to those people while disguising them as talking to God, and the message is very clear.)

This theme is extremely addressed in the movie, BUT this fandom doesn't know these songs yet. AND THEY NEED TO. IT'S A PITY THEY DON'T KNOW THEM.

Something I HATE is having to watch 'long' videos that I'm not interested in, so if you want to give it a chance but the length of the songs makes you discouraged, just listen to the first 30/40 seconds and decide if you want to watch the rest or not. I know how you feel. I will add videos with lyrics for the songs for people who understand English more easily if they can read the words (like me)

The four songs she really focus on this topic are: Heathens, You Keep Me Crawling, Blood In The Wine and The Devil Is Human.

These songs talk about the same topic but with intensities, explicitness and harshness at different levels. The first song is soft and proposes questioning, the second song talks in a desperate tone about how something that should bring her comfort is just abuse in disguise, the third song portrays revolt and sings the lyrics in a more explicit way, and the last song is harsher, which speaks in a more bold and direct way, like poison.

The song Heathens is soft and makes us question, in a slightly interpretative but still direct way, about what is said to be a sin but is just oppression. How people condemn "sinners" as heathens when everything we come into contact with is considered sin. These lyrics are a little confusing and require interpretation, but it is possible to understand what she meant with them.

You Keep Me Crawling has a double meaning. Both match Frollo really well (lmao). The first is clearer because she says how small and humiliated she feels, begging "on her knees", and this just hurts her — it's not a love relationship, but oppression, "Giving into love should never hurt for me, giving into love should set me free..." But there is also another interpretation, which is that of an abusive relationship, as I said I'm not very good at explanations so it's better for you to read the lyrics (or listen to the song which is a better option). These lyrics really remind me both of Quasimodo and Esmeralda, each one of them with their own situations.

The third song is about the pride of being a "sinner", if being a 'sinner' means being free and loving others. As I said, those lyrics are more explicit and they don't require so many interpretation like the last one. "I was given a name (I'm a human) before I was given blood (before violence), like you were given your faith before there was made a God (you're like this, but not because of your religion, you're evil because that's what you are)" it's pretty clear for me, her word choice and the way she sings these it's simply breathtaking. It's perfect for Esmeralda btw

And finally the song that motivated me to make the post, The Devil Is Human. Again, the title has to do with human beings always being condemned to sin and called pagans, on a level that humanity is so demonized by people, that this title means "our humanity is so hated that we are compared to the devil himself ". "The worst sin we can commit is to give in to what human beings were made to do: love." And again this is where the phrase "proud to be a sinner" comes from, as it is not about true sin, but accepting the judgments placed upon you just because you are... free. (You will be called a sinner if you are part of the LGBTQI+ community for example, even though loving should not be considered a sin. But that's not all, there are more reasons why she says this, such as cultural diversity on the planet and women's independence often result in violence, like the burning of witches, persecution, and more. You know what I'm talking about.)

In this song she sings in a more defiant way, and it seems like she is referring to God, but in fact she is referring to the people who contribute to the culture of hate and intolerance (at least in my interpretation). She's not afraid to be outrageous, bold, tough with her words, and doesn't regret anything she says. Reminds me of Esmeralda's actions and words towards Frollo! She has the same attitude!

This song was previously exclusive to vinyl and later became a single/deluxe. I believe it's because it would be too controversial to be placed on the main album. It would cause revolt and misinterpretations! And she didn't even made an official lyric video to it. That's fanmade.

So basically that's it! I was looking at some reviews of Hunchback Of Notre Dame and this came to my mind, and I hate the fact that people in this fabdom don't know about this wonderful album, as it fits perfectly with some themes in the film.

[sinisxtea]

DOYOUNG ALBUM THOUGHTS

ok welcome to my album review rant today we're reviewing doyoung's album. it's a quite lengthy album too. tbh surprised at the amount of songs i actually enjoyed because ballards are usually a hit or miss for me, because i don't like hearing just straight vocals.

(im a doyoung stan i must stream yknow)

not going to review every song on the album bc i tuned out some of them... 😭

little light

upon first listen, i lowkey almost tuned it out, i'm sorry... but second time listening to it, since it is the title track, i'm paying more attention to it. the song is very j-pop coded?? in my opinion, the ballad-rock kinda vibe does fit doyoung and this was what i expected, but a teeny tiny part of me was hoping for a little bit more sm core style of music, with the experimental stuff, but this works too. havent watched the mv yet but i'll check it out soon, maybe look up the lyrics translation, cause songs have more meaning when you understand the lyrics too.

from little wave

tell me why it's giving mario kart... imagine listening to this while driving on rainbow road damn. no but this is such a car cruising driving song, and i pretty much liked it immediately upon first listen. the chorus is SO GOOD??? like doyoungs vocals shine on the whole album cause he's that talented but this one really demonstrates it i think. you can disagree with me lmfao idc. it's kinda giving 80s love ballad, and that's such a beautiful vibe of music i really like it a lot...

time machine

lowkey was a surprise to see mark and taeyeon featured on the album, but i actually really like this one. the vocals hard carried obviously, but mark + doyoung combo really hits hard lowkey they should do more stuff like this together. i'm a sucker for male-female vocal duets, so this one was so cute and sweet. i know why mark considers himself an "ARTIST" not a rapper lmfao. (also im waiting for mark's solo album...... SM PLEASE)

lost in california

THIS IS THE SONG I WILL BE REPLAYING OVER AND OVER THIS MONTH I THINK. hello it's so good why wasn't this the title track? it reminds me of "i don't think that i like her anymore" by charlie puth and that song hits hard. also the vibes are immaculate. seems way more sm core than ballad so obviously i prefer this lmfao... love the little harpsicord instrumental too that was so neat. sm pick ur title tracks better thanks.

rest

i got more appreciative of the song after the chorus came on, but it gives like jpop vibes?? jpop really has that hard metal/rock aspect, and this album has quite a few songs like that. all in all, this wasn't really a favorite favorite, but it definitely stood out to me because it wasn't a ballad lmfaooo. didn't add this one to my playlist but i do think it's pretty good.

dallas love field

this is so country coded guys...... and guess who actually listens to country? me anyways neat cause it's called dallas love field... but regardless i quite enjoyed this a lot, and seeing the country core vibes radiate off of this... like damn im gonna make doyoung cowboy edits soon just watch. (for legal reasons thats a joke im a doyoung stan don't come for me) the only weird part is the bridge, with all the voices chiming in, but other than that i like the phillips phillips vibes that remind me of my 2010s era.

[lil-melody-moon]

Year Summary #2

We're here today to talk about music, yeah? Yeah...

Okay, let's do it like that. I've left off the last one with me getting into The Doors and let's pick it from that point!

This is long so...

I really went deep with The Doors. Honestly I'm glad I've got the chance to start my old music journey from them. Their lyrics are everything, music is something no one can replicate. Jim's voice is one of a kind, still sending shivers down my spine whenever I hear him. Not to mention the rest of the guys. Ray's beautiful playing, Robby's amazing guitar which sounds like nothing I've ever heard before, John's incredible drumming - while not paying much attention to his work at the very beginning I started doing so and damn his skill is amazing really. Honestly, I would like to get my hands on his book, the one he released this year.

From there I've stumbled upon The Beatles, just to drown in them. Literally drown. This is where I've started realizing that in the end I was listening to old music since the get go. One of the first two songs I remember hearing is "All You Need Is Love" by The Beatles. Even if it was a small fragment, I still remember the commercial they used it in and I could be what, 2 or 3 years old maybe? That's pretty young to remember something, song especially. Anyway, I wanted to give them a solid chance and only recalling that I know that "Yellow Submarine" song, I started from the album with the original score of the animated movie. Once I heard the first chord and words and Ringo's voice I was gone. I literally cried, I didn't hear this song for two years or more, I was hit with so much nostalgia, everything just came back to me. This tiny song appeared in my life when I was a shut in, when my grandpa was slowly dying, when I was close friends with a very toxic person and well, this tiny tune was my light in those awful times. Always managing to make me smile, dance a little bit and you know, I just started searching who sings it, knowing all four were singing on albums. Once I've found Ringo, I settled in the music, loving the old albums, going insane about "Help!" album especially, later "Abbey Road" - luck wanted that I got them very quickly and since then they are at home.

Ringo Starr was probably the first drummer to show me that drums can sound nice when they are not on the first place in a song, although the next phase, which is his solo work - not entire, I still have a lot of albums to listen to - I can certainly say that even if his drumming is tame for the most part, especially comparing to John Bonham's for example, it still is amazing, has its own charm and just makes me swing from one side to the other. And I will say this: Ringo took The Beatles' whole charm of music and put it back in in his solo works, mainly in his band era "Ringo Starr and His All-Starr Band". There's a certain shift between the 90s album "Time Takes Time" and his earlier works and this shift came in with full force, making his music even better than it normally was. Now, I might talk about his music like it would be the best thing in the world and you can tell me that it is mainly because I'm a Ringo girl myself, but like... His music is good, okay? Even my mom couldn't say no when I played her some songs - I think I actually made her a fan, but shhh ;3

And then, right after Ringo came Paul McCartney. He was slowly sneaking in from the beginning of my Beatles phase, but slowly, slowly, he finally got to me at May - we're not even half year through! He tried with music, I really started loving his music from "Help!" album - "Another Girl", "I've Just Seen a Face" my beloved <3 - and from there it only went downwards for me. Not only other songs of his started to get stuck in my head, but he started appearing on tumblr, facebook and then it was the day when I saw him in the 90s. Let's make a place for "Hope of Deliverance" here, because that song started it all in this year! And then I saw old Macca and again, I was gone. I'm weak to old Paul, no shame on that, but like... It took this guy so much to get to me! He tried through his solo career - first song I heard by him is "Wonderful Christmastime" - but also through collaborations - "The Girl Is Mine", "Say Say Say" - some Wings here and there - I actually got so shocked that I know "Live and Let Die" when i heard it! - and finally through The Beatles, succeeding just...

To be kicked out by John Bonham and my summer phase on Led Zeppelin. Now, I talked about Led Zep in the last year, but this band is never going away - just like The Beatles and one more band, but THAT later. I was actually still searching for my favorite band member at that time until it hit me why I started listening to them in the first place. Sure, Jimmy got me with "Babe I'm Gonna Leave You", sure Robert's voice is incredible - "Since I've Been Loving You", "I"m Gonna Crawl" OH MY GOD - but then I came to realization that the drums always hit where it should and it was when I started listening to the drums closely, just to be blown away for the third fucking time with this band! It was at the end of July and beginning of August and you know, I knew the whole discography already, but I kept discovering new gems and i still do. Mentioned earlier "I'm Gonna Crawl" is the latest obsession of mine, again John's drumming and Robert's vocals, but mainly the drumming! BUT, the PEAK is motherfucking "In My Time of Dying" and that won't ever change. I think only John's drum solos can compete with this one, nothing else can - unless I discover something else, but I talk about this song each time someone mentions Led Zeppelin so yeah. This is how bad it is XD

And here, we are in August... I was getting my ass into The Rolling Stones, when dad came by, saying "Let me show you Deep Purple!" and he did. I liked Jon Lord from the get go, but what actually convinced me to this band was this: I bought the "Made in Japan" album and heard "The Mule". PC went on full, speakers as well, Ian just blew me away! Then I listened to other songs. "Child in Time" getting to me right away, "Burn" album being the first one I listened on my own and the "Sail Away" becoming my favorite song. But that phase was short lived really. I still am up for listening to the rest of their discography, heck I most certainly will, they are amazing, but like... The end of August was nearing, 23rd exactly...

And you know, I was minding my own business on tumblr, really. Not searching for anything to get obsessed about, like I had whole Deep Purple to listen to, Rainbow came back as well - Cozy Powell, my beloved! - I just passed by the chance to buy "Brainwashed" by George Harrison and I was quite sad about that. I think I was listening to "Deep Purple in Rock" by that time, getting familiar with it when I started seeing someone on here. And you know, it never happens that I fall for someone only by seeing pics - I actually started listening to The Rolling Stones like that, seeing Charlie Watts and immediately getting interested - but like there has to be an exception once in a while and this one was none other than Keith Moon.

Let's go back to May or June real quick. Sometimes when mom is using pc I'm watching a music channel with dad and it happened that they played "My Generation" by The Who. Dad was complaining, he doesn't like them, but I was listening, came the end of the song, the drummer just going fucking nuts and I was like: "Fuck, he's good". I recalled that at that freaking day in August, finally having the chance to see him and I... I was blown away by one gifset. I actually didn't want to believe it was him. First time seeing Keith all elegant in a suit, that did things to me, but like then it calmed down, only to come back at September. And during this time I kept seeing "Who's Next" album in the record store, something telling me to buy it, but I didn't for some weird reason. The album disappeared at mentioned September, but like, this is exactly what fucking happened:

Keith Moon appeared on my dash again because it was 7th of September so like this is when I accidentally learned when he died

Then, when I was listening to music at night at the 10th of September spotify decided that it will randomly play me "Love Ain't for Keeping" and I, after hearing for years from parents that The Who isn't a good band, I was fucking blown away by this song. I had to check on spotify who plays it and I couldn't fucking believe it XD

Skip ahead to 13th of September and me saying "Alright, I will listen to this freaking album". I literally felt like "Who's Next" was haunting me - first at the record store and then when it was gone on spotify - so I gave in eventually. I recognized two songs from it immediately: "Baba O'Riley" and "Won't Get Fooled Again" recalling them from a tv series, freaking knowing there was one more they used, but that wasn't what was important at that day to me

I literally had to pause after it ended, I was fucking shaking and that like never happened to me after listening to the album. And sitting in that silence I heard a sudden voice in my head: "Finally back home"

A week later I've found the third song they used in the tv series "Who Are You" and that made me realize something. That my whole interest in music, my whole love towards drumming, my specific taste in it, that I love when drummers go crazy on them is because of Keith Moon

This crazy idiot was the first drummer I heard, who got me mesmerized by his playing. I remember to this day the moment I walked in the living room when mom was watching the tv series and the opening played. I was standing in the hall, mesmerized, so imagine my reaction when I finally made a whole loop back, after saying in the last year that I want to come back to my old self, finding it right there. Yes, i cried. Yes, I got attached to Keith Moon so much so that it's almost insane. And you know what? I'm fine with how things are right now. I feel like I stopped my search in music and I'm fine to settle in with Keith as my favorite drummer and for The Who to became the third band that I will come back to all the time, just like with Led Zeppelin and The Beatles. I'm feeling like at home with them, with him mostly, so I'm staying. I'm not moving my ass anywhere.

And just like that you thought it'll be over? HAHA, NO. Right after that came rolling The Police, Pink Floyd and The Moody Blues. Each band I enjoy a lot.

The Police for the drummer - Copeland, you're an amazing drummer!

Pink Floyd for the mood and lyrics - I'm more in the Waters and Gilmour era, but Syd Barrett is my baby <3 Also Rick Wright <3

The Moody Blues for everything - I might have only listened to one album, but "Nights in White Satin" is a MASTERPIECE!

And THAT, all of THAT concludes this year. With addition to dropping out of heavy metal, but I've mentioned that in the last post. All drummers who are responsible for that thing are named above!

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 3/21/2023

i didn't want to sit down and write this bc i was having too much fun playing viddy gaem

listening

IT'S QUICKER AND EASIER TO EAT YOUR YOUNG!!!

"i'm starving...darling,,," is very sexy but the way the lyrics slowly slide into something more and more horrifying until the chorus hits??? mwah. lovely.

my one critique is that this song is...breathy, for lack of a better word? does not showcase the man's magnificent pipes. oh well! there are other songs.

how'd i find this: im gay, also he is one of the most popular indie artists in the World. his first album went platinum six fucking times.

-

reading

i read all of frank miller's sin city bc im on a noir kick and i didn't have a good time. the closest i got to fun was (deadly little, always described as "deadly little") Miho, a mute japanese??? generic asian??? assassin who is tits out not in these panels but in almost all others, rollerblading around mowing down guys with her katana. that was a painful sentence to write.

i read a lot of genre fiction. i read a lot of older genre fiction. they are not written with me, a bisexual "woman", in mind. and that’s ok bc not everything has to be written with me in mind. rarely have i read something that is more For The Boys Only!!! than frank miller’s sin city. felt kind of gross and a little put off the whole time i read these and they made me a little bit upset and afraid of men in a way i have not felt since high school. now it does feel odd to go “i didn’t think this noir was very pleasant >:(“ but miller’s work feels unpleasant and distinct from, say, chandler or hammett in a way i am still having trouble articulating. it is possible that the misogyny in chandler is a flavor i already know and barely register the taste of anymore. it may be that i got tired of looking at miller's women with twelve-inch waists and nipples as full and perky as their mouths.

mostly i think the labor market in sin city is super fucked up. women in sin city exist to have their value extracted from them in a way that is different and worse than normal capitalism. like, i can see how someone would read these comics and go full SWERF. women are literal trophies, both arm candy and in a very upsetting trophy hunting way. especially in the final volume, women are machines of potential profit. aside from one landlady and one cop and one child who grows up to be a prostitute, all the women in this whole city seem to be prostitutes or prostitutes who have married up and out. like there aren’t really even any women on the street just walking or in diners. it’s all dudes.

this is probably a comics vs novels thing, but miller is often sadistic in a way that chandler is not. a guy dies on a page to make cool art. they fuckin mow through dozens of goons a volume. if a guy dies in chandler it’s usually bc chandler's philip marlowe has stumbled across a dead body accident and it becomes a tremendous pain in order to tip off the cops that a body needs retrieving without getting framed for the kill. marlowe (and by extension chandler) is a people person-- he is a detective bc he likes figuring out what makes people tick. he is alert and it's hard to get one over on him but his resting state is congenial. despite his job, he still does believe in the concept of justice.

sin city (more of a comment than a question) says "if people piss you off you should kill them." this is not to make light of the very real Situations that protagonists in sin city find themselves, but there are very few problem solving skills on display other than "apply dick" or "apply gun". VERY RARELY, "apply pussy". that last one almost never works out tho.

aside from All That, it does contain some of the best straight up art (not just comics art) ive ever seen. the command of light and shadow is incredible. the command of negative space is incredible. panels aren’t busy unless they’re showing the chaos of a scene. he doesn't draw every single brick bc that's not important to the scene. it’s really quite stunning.

also the MOVEMENT in this fringe is incredible. do u see what i mean about the nipples tho

-

watching

i gotta lotta fuckin bones to pick with the manda/lorian but they're all spoilery. this shit fucking sucks man. it's twenty fucking twenty three we have had well over a century to master storytelling through the art of the moving image.

all three eps so far have felt very weirdly edited-- like a lot of changes happened after filming and there wasn't enough time for pickups?? this is a gajillion dollar show just reshoot some shit on your little fake stage i am Begging you. at least bo-katan looked hot. god she's awful i love her

again again i say to ye, what if star wars was good? i am slightly terrified that andor may have ruined me for any s/tar wars that follows but by any metric these first three s3 mando eps are simply not good television.

-

playing

ty @pasta-pardner for gifting me Weird West some weeks ago bc it is the new thing i am obsessed with. this first trailer gives a better sense of the Vibes than the launch trailers imo

i find it is scratching a lot of the rpg itches that new vegas does: you wander around beautiful western settings running into weird shit, followed around by a hot butch you've recruited to your cause. unlike new vegas, it is a little less forgiving and you have to really scrap and loot everything that isn't nailed down.

this is a top-down action rpg with a weird little aiming system that is sort of a 3D twinstick? it takes some getting used to, and shooting is not the part of any game i am particularly good at. here's xbox wire's screenshot, which gives a good idea of how isometric it is and what enemy detection looks like. i do wish i could expand the minimap, bc some of the locations like mines or bigger towns can really sprawl.

i have one big annoyance bc it is a thing that made me take a break and sulk for a bit: as you're traveling across the map (not open world, location-based), you can run into Travel Encounters. you can decline to engage with some of them. you cannot save within or between the encounters unless you stop and make camp. if you're on a long journey to a different corner of the map, you might run into three Travel Encounters. if you die on the third, you are catapulted back to your starting point. this is tremendously annoying in the early game, so either take short trips or get good at about-facing and exiting areas quickly.

a writer i admire likes games that let him tell stories about what happened in the game to other people-- this is a game that very much facilitates that. i was ambushed during a Travel Encounter by the some outlaws, bc i accidentally let one escape while i was trying to collect a bounty on his boss, and that specific named grunt came back with a Vendetta. but! i met a dying outlaw from the band who kidnapped my character's husband in a different second encounter, swapped some bandages for a treasure map, and he is now a Friend for Life. so he showed back up to help me during that ambush AGAINST FELLOW OUTLAWS WHO SEEM TO HAVE SOME SORT OF MEMORANDUM OF UNDERSTANDING??? mWAH. DELICIOUS. LOVE SYSTEMS INTEROPERATING.

ive put like six hours into this, and it has five chapters with five different characters. i have not progressed past the first chapter bc i am having so much fun poking around. i am so so so grateful that the first character is a wife seeking revenge and not the other way around. ppl are throwing big baby tantrums in the steam forums about this but you know what? some husbands should be macguffins sometimes. widens their perspective.

i am fascinated by the drips and drabs of lore this game is feeding me. there's an order of witches with huge underground temples that (crucially!) they did not build, but have adopted for their own uses without really understanding who built them and why. i want to know so much more about their whole shit. there are werewolves but idk what their deal is bc i haven't met any yet.

i am a simple woman! i only demand perfect cowboy western-flavored rpgs and so far this is holding up. i will have more thoughts as i go along but goddamn is it fun to play. we truly do love a competent little rpg with interesting lore and good stealth mechanics that lets you loot everything in sight.

-

making

mostly fallow week, wrists hurty

made this tuna-chickpea salad for lunch. it is quite rich for a lunch. there are a lot of components that may be challenging to digest all together for a milennial with tummy troubles.

this would have definitely been improved by solid instead of cheap chunk tuna (or salmon. this would be great with canned salmon) and if i actually chopped the baby spinach instead of going "it's fine" and flinging it all in. or maybe wilting the spinach, but that's a lot of extra work and this would be a very warm, wet salad :/ the point is the chickpeas really want to sink to the bottom. i like that there is no cooking involved, only assembling, but realistically i have only half of these ingredients in my house at any given time. screengrabs from the site bc i paid a dollar but there's no reason you have to

[lyriquette]

Old RWBY AU description from the Frosen Steel server 12/24/2020:

noticing the trend that I was really really inspired that December 2020.

Anyway Silkpants!Weiss AU and drunkhacker!Willow blowing up on Jacques and manages to take out the company with her. Also the concept of a Ballmer peak (from xkcd) is that a certain precise blood alcohol level confers superhuman programming ability.

----

lilac — 12/24/2020 7:03 PM

Also silkpants!Weiss AU. Nail is that Jacques actually laid a hand on the kids and Willow goes berserk, baulking the unsaid patriarchial traditions in her family. She takes down the company with her own hands by revealing every dirty secret of the SDC which causes the Atlasian government to dismantle the company. Because of her assistance, she's awarded the rest of the liquid assets of the Schnee company, Jacques goes to jail, and Willow's all wow this went better than I could've ever imagined.

Changes involve the schneeblings are closer to each other, Willow works with Polendina and Atlas as the resident hacker and programmer, and Weiss ends up at Atlas than Beacon. Inspired by her mom taking out the thorn in the family, Weiss becomes the big bully of the family, except it's the other rich people that's scared of her.

Bully the weak? Hell no, I’m bullying the strong. Don't like it? You can bite me.

---

“Think it's funny tormenting little kids and making them eat garbage? Come on. Torment me then," said a bobcut-donning Weiss.

“Miss Schnee. It was just a jok-"

Slap.

“I just smacked you with a wad of Lien. It was just a joke.-" Weiss rebutted having pulled a stack of cash from her purse.

“you,” guy holding his face, “When my father hears an-"

Smack. Another stack of Lien hit the floor. A cracking of knuckles.

“It doesn't matter who comes now,” Weiss said as she brandished a pair of knuckledusters, “you're going to lick the floor clean, or I'm going to beat you until you're done.”

---

Part of the reason why the Schnee family doesn’t get messed with despite Weiss's antics is because Willow is a ticking time bomb for everyone. She's a good hacker and an even more protective mom. Someone tried to block Winter's advancement in the military unjustifiably, and Willow responded with releasing her blackmail material on that person, a small part that she's accumulated for years just being a drunk hacker – cause of the phenomenon of Ballmer Peak where a certain blood alcohol level confers superhuman programming skills where she so happened to sit in a majority of the time.

And Willow's like yeah all I care about is making money to support my family and my kids. If you mess with my kids, I don’t care if we both go to ruin. Momma Bear Schnee.

She also discovers the loophole in Atlasian security aka Watt's hack, so the whole system gets a revamp which gets important later with the CCT. Willow still drinks. But only at work. She's the only one allowed to do so cause she can’t program otherwise. “I don’t know how I finished the project. I blacked out and there it was." ????

------

lilac — 12/24/2020 7:06 PM

Yeeee. And also I just imagine someone high in the government going "come on girl what can you do to me." And Weiss releases a multi-continent album with every song dedicated to lambasting the guy and highlighting every bit of corruption and dark point in his career.

Needless to say, he doesn't stay in power xD

lilac — 12/24/2020 7:59 PM

-------

--------

The million lien question. 8) well, it's definitely gonna be Frostbyte first. Willow already works with Polendina in this AU, and Penny's creation and testing is completed earlier in canon. So Weiss'll get to interact with Penny a bit before Atlas and probably will be part of the same team eventually.

Penny doesn't quite get why everyone (mostly the affluent folk) seems to be scared of her friend. It's not like Weiss keeps wads of cash in her purse to smack people with, right? Also, Weiss acts pretty normal and nice when she isn't provoked. Even has a blog just dedicated to her finding dogs and petting them. The Schnee Mansion itself is practically a kennel. Momma Schnee is all whatever makes you happy. Whitley is also weak to dogs and is thinking about becoming a vet in the future given his proximity to them. Winter is allergic sadly but still all "who's an adorable cutie ah-choo!"

I digress.. anyway. So Penny's origins and high up connections aren't known. Per her papers, she only has Pietro as her father, and he's not immediately recognizable as someone special. So people insult her for both her lack of social standing and her quirkiness. Then someone makes the stupid mistake of doing it in front of Weiss.

Later the CCT tower has a couple new additions hogtied and spinning around by their waists on a rope. And they're all screaming "if you mess with Penny, you're messing with Weiss" while in tears. They do this because Weiss promised something far worse if they didn't.

Penny, having teen novel romances and fanfic as her cross-references, take it as a declaration of love. She ends up being the one who supports Weiss and also curbs her need to be and be seen as strong.

---

Headmaster's Office:

Ironwood, sighing as he sees Weiss: what did you do now?

Weiss, unrepentantly: I strung people up from the CCT tower again.

Ironwood: Weiss. The CCT tower is not your personal billboard. Not to mention that messing around with it can have consequences for everyone, even if you're not touching the tower when you climb up.

Weiss: …

Ironwood: …

Weiss: This conversation is going pretty differently compared to our usual ones.

Ironwood: How so?

Weiss: For one, you aren't yelling at me for beating up other people again.. I was getting worried that I ended up in some freaky alternate universe or something.

Ironwood, darkly amused: Would you actually listen if I told you to stop beating other people up?

Weiss pretends to ponder the question a bit before shaking her head.

Weiss: probably not.

Ironwood, rolling eyes: I figured. Besides I know why you did it, and though I can’t officially condone your actions, I can turn a blind eye.

Weiss: soo. If I don’t use the CCT as my billboard, can I hogtie people and hang them from other places?

Ironwood: …just go away already.

Weiss just laughs.

---

lilac — 12/24/2020 8:45 PM

"Please don't start anything in Vale. My dads told me to ask," Penny said with a soft giggle while giving Weiss a hug as they went on the plane.

"Anything else the Headmaster wanted to tell me?" Weiss asked, returning the hug.

"Don't mess with the ciivies. It's one thing to do it in Atlas since it's your home. Another to do it in another continent while being a Hunter,” Penny shrugged, “That's all.”

"Is there anything -you- want to tell me?” Weiss said playfully.

“I love you,” Penny replied with a smile.

“I-I-…” Weiss stuttered, a hint of pink of her cheeks. Every single time. And she still couldn’t say the words she wanted to say to her girlfriend. They just catch in her throat like they always did.

Penny pecked her on the cheek happily. “Don't worry. I know your feelings. See you in Vale!” she finished as she ran towards her designated plane with a wave.

"Ah. Penny! Uh bye!" Replied a flustered Weiss.

--

Streets of Vale during Vytal festival:

Some fancy, bright red car is driving beside her ugly rent-a-car at night. It's been cutting her off repeatedly after she had honked at them for doing it previously. A couple of other cars and a motorcycle were still on the road.

The red luxuxy car drove to her rental's side once more, the people within hollering and making lewd gestures and comments before cutting her off and forcing her to brake.

Continuing to ignore them after a dozen times of this, Weiss finally hears an interesting tidbit as they drove by her for the umpteenth time.

“We're all Hunters. -hic-. From Beacon. Got all that aura and stamina. How about a night Snow Angel?”

Hollers from the back of the car.

Hunters? Really now.

Weiss’s lips curved into the not-smile.

“She's smiling! What a sl-" Whatever the brown-haired guy was going to say trailed off as they sped past her again and hit their brakes.

She didn’t bother to hit hers this time.

Crash! Screech! Crunch! (edited)