#but this is what ive gathered personally
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pratically-imperfect · 19 days ago
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Caitlyn is so messy and complex of a character, and while her original goals were paved in good intentions, she's ultimately turned her back on it unwittingly. The grief, trauma, stress, and the weight of her name and new posts, it's all adding up. All while everyone around her on the topside slowly turns their backs to her previous convictions. So, in her anger - her agonizing RAGE - she turned on the last person who could keep her accountable, who held her beliefs. Because not only did Vi endorse taking the shot, make it clear, but she ended up preventing her from it. And Caitlyn...I 100% believe SHE believed she wouldn't have missed. But I also believe that, had she taken it, she would have. She lost what she's shooting for. It would be naive to think that, in a chaotic situation such as that, that she could thread the needle...and at what cost? If they weren't killed, they would have been deeply traumatized. Continuing a cycle.
All while at home, surrounded by people who bow to her, she's constantly having her original morals tested and questioned. And now she's got Ambessa in her ear, weaponizing all the vulnerabilities she's accumulated from: Being made to confront her privilege and prejudice, to being kidnapped, made a hostage, watched Jinx explode the tower and killed her mom, a terrorist attack at a MEMORIAL from the people she'd been wanting to help (turning this from Jinx being the solo scapegoat of her past prejudice, to being an act of the people of Zaun as well), and so many little things that just add up.
She lashes out, at the height of her distress - not necessarily in malice as that implies a true intent, this felt feral to me (and that FLASH of regret at the end of that stare, before she turns...) - because frankly she isn't thinking anymore. She isn't rational, and her actions are reactional. Her emotions are raw, overwhelming, and she feels like she's alone, and also like she needs to protect herself.
This of course doesn't excuse her behaviour. She said regrettably discriminatory things about the people of Zaun in her quest for blame and revenge. Of course she chose to rise to Ambessa's 'request.' And she rejected Vi both verbally and physically after making some very harmful, manipulative sounding statements to her. Caitlyn IS in the wrong. However what this does is explain things. Humans are complex and the world is PAVED in shades of grey. Our personalities change over time, we act differently with different people. The nicest people can still do bad things, just because their perspective makes it seem good. The evilest of people can, much in the same way, do good things but have bad ulterior motives.
There is so much going on than just this, or just that. There is more to this conversation than being apologetic only to Vi OR Caitlyn. They're both victims, they've both done bad, and they have both made mistakes, and neither of them are wholly GOOD or BAD.
We can laugh and say we support woman's wrongs, and continue to love and support our favourite girls, but it's important to look at the wider context, and that there's more to it all.
I think it's this messy complexity that makes us love them, and it's also what will make the payoff so much more sweet when the time comes...if it comes. I can hope.
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thegreatyin · 6 months ago
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this nemesis ambition started out a little slow but I am getting closer to finding that bastard who killed my wife, and I’ll not rest a minute now that im far closer to on his trail
sorry got in character for a second
Anyways fun ambition so far very fucked up though
congratulations on joining the murder club anon!!!! depending on who you ask the name refers to either people who have murdered or people who have witnessed murder. usually both. actually extremely often both. it's a swell time you'll feel right at home (don't mind our collective skyglass knife collection in the back)
#im still not far into nemesis personally but im very much enjoying it#honestly in a weird way it feels like it's moving faster than HD did. which. is funny bc nemesis is like The gated behind item grinds quest#idk. HD was a fun slowburn where we adventured around gathering our rogues gallery before the action kicked in#nemesis on the other hand feels like im picking up halfway through a batman serial#fallen london#ask#it's WAY more fucked up right off the bat than HD was. honestly ive thought abt red honey for ages. that's so fucked up#and we LEAD with that?? Okay#definitely a horrors-filled ambition befitting caeru (the guy who's constantly going through horrors)#it really encourages you to get fucked up and freaky and in ur character's headspace at basically every step along the way#i only have HD to compare it too but HD was like. a lot more interpretative in comparison? at least to me. that's what it felt like#and i adore HD for that dont get me wrong here#HD just also waited until like. halfway through before it asked what the scoundrel actually Wanted out of its heart's desire#nemesis in comparison is right off the bat who died? who are you mourning? anguish. justice. there must be vengeance.#it's a delightfully different vibe!! i like it!!!#oh god sorry anon im doing the classic yin talking way too much in the tags thing again#i havent had much excuse to talk abt nemesis and what i think of it so far and of course its rp effects on caeru#but i do have a handful of thoughts on it#it's good. im liking it so far. it's starting very strong if nothing else. and i have no spoiler knowledge of what happens in the future#beyond the choice between rewards at the very end#and im SO curious how we'll get to that point. what horrors will we adventure through next? off we go to find out!#it's biggest glaring weakness so far is how horrendously grindy it is. and like. ive been warned and done my research ahead of time#im doing it on the same account im seeking. i knew what i was getting into. but also gots damn.#in comparison HD's 5-card lodgings and dreamgate feel like footnotes#anyway while im already way too deep into rambling did you know the honey trip gives you fate?? insane. why does it do that. hilarious even
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unganseylike · 6 months ago
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for others who disliked adams greywaren ending, what do you think about the part of his ending with transferring schools?
Personally, i can see arguments for transferring (in terms of adam not having his fantasized perfectly linear path to success), but i want to see him stay and deal with his lies and mistakes. ik that sounds mean, but i intend it in the kindest way possible. like it could be helpful for him to distance himself from the person he invented at harvard and try again, but i want him to contend with that and reconcile his invention with the person he really is; i don’t think they are mutually exclusive!
maybe this comes down to your opinion of his crying club- whether you think theyre really his friends or not- but to me, i don’t think this effort to build community was wrong, even though it was unhealthy that he had to lie about his background to do it. i think adam needs to think about why he had this drive to create a friend group and why he felt like he couldn’t be the same person he was in henrietta. i want him to feel like he can be honest with the crying club, or at least that he can his genuine self with people outside the gangsey. he doesnt have to suddenly dump the whole truth on them, but i wish he could slowly let himself trust them, as they have trusted him with their troubles.
Obviously it was important for him and his character arc to leave henrietta and for him to want to leave behind the person he was there (and the fact that everyone there knew he was poor and a victim of abuse), but i’d like to see adam stay in place somewhere and work through who he is there. I feel like if he leaves and starts somewhere new, he’ll still have that instinct to leave behind this old version of adam and reinvent himself.
what do you all think? i know we all hate the adam becomes a fed thing, but wasnt sure what opinion is on this part
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screechingsandwichhologram · 2 months ago
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guys where did combeferre/eponine come from. genuine question.
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annot8 · 6 months ago
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finally starting to read the starlight archive!
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guckies · 1 year ago
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Ok guess it’s my time to speak up on tubbo and sunny stealing shit from Leo and Foolish… because I guess my /neg posts are a daily occurrence now… (This isn’t really heavy neg more just criticism, so beware.)
With them reading the lore book for foolish, I can’t say anything because it was out in the open and the admins should know better by now lol. They were lucky it was vague but from now I’ll will talk about everything else.
I can give a lot of slack to Sunny because Sunny doesn’t know what stuff is Leo’s and such. However the whole “they are so poor” act has got to drop, some of the eggs have tried that before and it just does not read well at all.
Encouraging/being okay with sunny possibly stealing Foolish’s first gift to Leo is crazy. Like they don’t know that but man, it’s name tagged and everything. So obviously you shouldn’t steal it because the context clues obviously point to it being either Leo’s or Foolish’s pet. Like just leave it alone or better yet go get your own pet and make it an adventure.
But Tubbo, I’m just so disappointed man. For being so smart he did not pick up on any of the context clue at Foolish’s house. Like the egg bed is right there you can clearly tell this is Leo’s room despite Foolish also making it his main hub. Yeah it’s Foolish’s main hub but also it’s Leo’s room first and foremost so you shouldn’t touch it. I don’t blame him for not knowing what chests are Leo’s but the fact he was stealing and encouraging sunny to steal was just so exhausting.
About Foolish knowing about the stealing, he’s probaby mentioned it like once ages ago and Foolish does not remember it at all, which is just almost as bad as stealing good items without telling. Which tubbo did when he stole 3 of Foolish’s mending books. Can he not just ask someone online or go grind for it himself?? Sure no one minds when people take the surplus of stuff they have but since he takes valuable stuff and he doesn’t know which chests are Leo’s, it just reads bad to the viewers…
Again part of minecraft is to grind your gear out, the fact that Tubbo has just been stealing valuable or hard to get items from people is so boring... Please just go get your own villager and do dungeons as a part of your stream content, because if you’re not playing with the long term goal in mind then why are you even playing?? Also yes his factory can be a long term goal but with how quickly he does it, it’s becoming a more medium length goal.
Seriously though by having moments in stream where you grind for the things you need is essential, otherwise content can become very repetitive and somewhat episode like. Please I beg, can’t you just go do an adventuring and resource gathering stream? Please! Like you stream almost 6-9 hours on qsmp and just steal resources? Just use up one of those hours to go and gather the resources.
Tl;dr - Tubbo really just needs to start adventuring and grinding gear by doing dungeons and getting villagers, he doesn’t even have to do it alone everyone knows morning crew would gladly tag along. The stealing bit is okay when the person has a surplus of that material but it’s getting boring…
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mayo-is-an-instrument · 5 months ago
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I made a boo oc!! I'll make more drawings to use them for when I start making "serious" YouTube videos :3
#mayodraws#dont really know what else to tag so#TIME FOR RAMBLING WOOHOO#im thinking of just getting rid of the name Mayo tbh#ive grown sick of it#honestly might just stick to my real name for everything atp#i use it for the entirety of discord now so 💀#i just feel like its not me if its not my actual name#its like its a separate identity of myself even if im the same person you know?#i like feeling that i am me even through a screen i am still me and not some offbrand representation of myself#so hey everyone my name is Hailey :3 feel free to call me that#soon enough ill change all my socials or the ones I actually use to be some form of 'Hailstorm' because it sounds cool imo#and its a nickname my sister gave me so it also means something special to me <3#should I have made a separate post for this? yes#is it too late? also yes#since im in a ramble session i may as well say more on my mind#im in a server for discord and i so badly have been trying to become friends with people there but holy shit even after like 2 months#i still cant gather courage to speak most of the time#hopefully ill open up more soon but man i need to just not be so shy 😭#are you having fun reading through the tags 💀💀#i would be surprised of anyone actually read all if them#if you did i hope you have a wonderful day 👍👍#also Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its Christmas totally#back onto the youtuve thing most of my videos are just shit like “toad screaming” or editing zelda cutscenes but at some point i want to#make scripted videos for nintendo related stuff#i already finished a script for ttyd and i know its not the best script but for being my first its good enough and ill learn along the way#okay im done yapping Happy St Patrick's Day
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dreamcast-official · 3 months ago
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everything ive learned about vtuber drama has been against my will
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seithr · 8 months ago
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Randomly remembered the half-reason i call my oc-verse by the name it has while laying in bed. One-half of the reason i still knew, but I had forgotten what had truly, really cemented it jointly until now
(it was a song from my favourite band I haven't listened to in a while.)
(the song fit so well at the time, still does, that i needed to hold onto it for the main protagonists forever, by partially naming their story in reference.)
Does this explanation make any sense? Does anyone know why I'm tearing up remembering this. Aahh
#(I'm emotional because I've been feeling bad about it all lately. enjoying things I make I mean—art or ocs or frivilous things.)#(So remembering that song and when it came out. That I couldn't see them in person. But i held onto it my own way. As something I loved)#(Something I still do love a lot... Parts of me saying no—you don't hate it. No. I'll help you remember more. I'm a little misty about it.)#The song is just The Killers - Run For Cover. I couldn't see them in person all those years ago—family went without me.#All my new oc rework with Zin and Hunter and Caia were like a year old or so.#It's a little silly. But the character Zin's derived from was a lightning mage so I stuck to it—I like monhun's zinogre for what its worth#So there's recurring theme and imagery. Thunder's not lightning but the sound and the feeling after the flash the flame and strike.#There's that meaningful thought—the story is the aftermath of a big tragedy. It matches what I like in monsters and other chars.#And at that time—my favourite band I missed out on puts out a really good song I download everywhere and it goes like:#He motioned me to the sky/ I heard heaven and thunder cry/ Run for cover/ Run while you can baby don't look back/ You gotta run for cover#And it goes on of course. The rest of the song's still really good. There's more that fits but point is; More evocative imagery.#So there. Why my bundle of OCs—Zinadia Hunter and Caia's story—is called Thunder 20XX. minus the 20XX. That's tongue-in-cheek#About some day I'll manage to make something tangeable or broadly shareable with them. I guarentee this century!#Thunder... oh my darling Thunder. Eight years man. More than that if I really want to count pre-rework INTO the complete original work. but#I like that it's definably 8. I like that I remembered I've always loved them a lot. Always been my thing to lean on even by name...#I need to get to sleep. Ive gotten a little more emotional over one song than I'd rather regularly be. Give it a listen maybe? Goodnight#Armour clanking#I need an oc tag#What have you gathered to report to your progenitors?🎶Are your excuses any better than your senator's🎶He held a conference#and his wife was standing by his side🎶He did her dirty but no-one died🎶#I saw Sonny Liston on the street last-night black-fisted and strong singing🎶Redemption song🎶#He motioned me to the sky🎶I heard heaven and thunder cry🎶RUN FOR COVER#What are you waiting for—a kiss or an apology?🎶You think by now you'd have an A in toxicology🎶#It's hard to pack the car when all you do is shame us🎶Even harder when the dirtbag's famous🎶#I saw my mother on the street last night all pretty and strong singin🎶The road is long🎶#I said 'Mama I know you tried!'🎶But she fell on her knees and cried🎶RUN FOR COVER#Just run for cover - you've got nothin left to lose...
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ozymoron · 6 months ago
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starting to think this website is bad for my mental health.....
#⚠️#personal#everytime i come on here and read a post thats discourse its like entering a boss battle against my ocd#like fuck! not again!!#i dont know the answer and my brains yelling at me if i dont reblog fast enough im a bad person and i cant scroll by either causr thatll#make me a bad person whos ignoring what seems to be an obvious problem and now im FUCKED!!!#yeah maybe i could just unfollow discourse people but theyre half the people i follow and also some of my mutuals and like#its not like i dont care about issues its just hard to engage with anything on here when my own mind keeps yelling at me im a horrible#person for not reblogging whatever new queer discourse post has appeared on my dash#its exhausting!#i wish spaces online were more ocd friendly! but they never will be! cause social media thrives off reactionary aggressive shit like#''reblog this or youre a TERRIBLE PERSON'' and even when the op isnt saying that and is like calmly explaining things or at least from what#i can gather from their tone over the internet which is hard to judge that voice is still in my head like people on here will label you a#shitty person for not reblogging certain posts and that scares me and my ocd so bad!#i do care its just hard to want to engage with anything when everyones so angry all the time#yeah people can be justified in that anger but still for people like me who struggle with moral ocd its hard#ive been considering jsut not reblogging discourse but i want to show solidarity with people this discourse is about#i want to show i care cause i do its just hard like#i feel like half the shit i reblog on here is a compulsion#yeah maybe i should spend less time on here but even when im trying to do that i still scroll on my dash for maybe like 5 minutes and ive#already been hit with like 20 different discourse posts#i jsut came on here for gotham fan content idk man
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silverislander · 1 year ago
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fully intended and foreseen consequence of coping better with my anxiety is that this blog will at some point inevitably become More Cringe and that point is SO close on the horizon. if you get mad at me for posting things i like on my blog that is for me you clearly have more issues than i do for worrying abt that possibility for hours on end
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#its tumblr were all cringe here. fucking grow up or leave genuinely#also i literally tag everything im into + trigger tags too. block tags or just unfollow me theres no hard feelings i prommy#anyway. ive been falling back into creepypasta which ive mentioned before i was super into as a teen! fun stuff#i love that the fandom is still alive and doing fun new stuff :') theres such good art out there!! and character interpretations!!!!#and ive also gotten really into league lore over the past few months actually. the arcane fixation has morphed#basically it went 'this character looks cool whats their deal. whats this region like. oh another neat character lets look into that'#and then suddenly i know too much™️ bc hyperfixations for me are about gathering information and stories like a raccoon#i have FEELINGS about it. post probably incoming soon abt that#and BRIAR!! shes a little gremlin i kind of love her already#levi.txt#will i delete this in the morning? lets see#but for real tho. im doing really good lately. things arent perfect but i feel like a person for once#i can talk to strangers without acting like a trapped prey animal! it turns out im fucking funny actually! people like my jokes#im SLEEPING again. regularly. that was an issue for nearly a year and im doing ok again (not perfect but hey! ~8hrs!!)#i can just. sit around in public now and not feel like im on a hidden camera show where everyone is judging the way i breathe#slowly switching from self deprecation 'i want to die' jokes to 'im literally gods favourite prince and the hottest bitch alive'#i still get really nervous but it doesnt feel like a personal flaw and it doesnt feel insurmountable anymore#so yeah naturally thats going to come with (hopefully) a lot less shame around things that i like#just asking kindly that people are normal abt it. this is me thriving i guess
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orcelito · 4 months ago
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I'm actually appalled at how much naruto shippuden filler I've skipped before. Like the prior two arcs were whatever. Kind of interesting, gave some extra perspectives on a few characters, but Eh
This third one, though. It's really going into Utakata to the point where I'm like. I can't believe I've always skipped this??? It's so interesting!!!! I really do hope that Naruto gets to learn he's a jinchuuriki too, bc even tho he's gonna get slurped up by that statue too, for Right Now at least, there's another jinchuuriki here. And Naruto has only met one before now (since he hasn't met Killer Bee yet). I think he deserves to get to know his fellow jinchuuriki.
#speculation nation#fanny watches naruto#makes me think of a fic i read that had all the jinchuuriki gathering together. really loved that thing.#idk i just think theyre so cool. the exclusive club of incredibly super powered yet also incredibly socially scorned people#only 9 of them!!! kind of!!!! except not for isobu. whatever happened there.#actually im looking forward to fully watching the show this time. for the First time.#when i was first watching shippuden it was only midway thru the first filler arc.#so uh. the third arc? of shippuden. which was relatively early all things considered.#and i kept up with the manga for a while. verging into the war era. tho i didnt get far enough to see the neji thing#though i do remember when it happened. me and my friends mourned for him 😭#but anyways. all that extra stuff on the bijuu and the jinchuuriki. i only really know it through fandom osmosis#and i Love these characters. but ive seen them in the show so little.#so im really enjoying getting to see utakata. his personality is not fully what i envisioned from his design.#his design looks so peaceful. just a chill dude. he's kind of an asshole though lmao#i dig it tho. i also really do like his design. utakata i am so happy to see you in action#even if it's gonna make the later stuff hurt more lol#listen i know the bijuu collection was to create high stakes for naruto. but i lament that nearly every other jinchuuriki end up doomed#like if it werent for chiyo gaara would be dead. and otherwise it's just killer bee and naruto.#yugito seems like she was so cool. and i wanna get to know fuu 🥺🥺🥺#hfkshfj i want to get to know them all......... waaaa
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smileymoth · 8 months ago
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Im like a joke, really. I post on tumblr like im the most specialest freak alive. Cmon now danny youll just scare people off making 2014 deviantart vent journal esq posts every few hours.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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...
#it's so weird trying to describe yourself when u really aren't something u used to be#like until i was probably 21 or so id say i was shy. very very shy. but now im like was that even true? was i ever shy bc im not now#maybe i was just quiet and anxious. maybe thats just what being shy is. but im still both of those things but im not shy#im sorta like a hermit. i dont really go around ppl if i can avoid it but i dont hate being around ppl. its just that im less anxious when#im alone. but if u put me around ppl i like to talk to them so im not shy. ill say whatever. i dont really give a fuck#but if u throw me in a group i go back to being a non entity. i guess thats just being an introvert with an asocial streak#thats a thing i noticed while i was at the grad weekend i attended in march. the group would gather and do things while i kinda just#wandered away from them to poke at trees and sit in the snow. i dunno i just feel better away from ppl. my brain gets a lot louder if ive#been too social. which is a shame bc its interesting to watch ppl and understand how thry work#my friend came over to day goodbye before i leave next week. which was nice. i wish we would have hung out more in person but so it goes#and i think in my head im a lot more contained thst i actually am. like if u set me a task that becomes my focus but im also sorta all over#the place. partly bc i think my brain works on like a lag. and also my mood is a little elevated rn so im sorta like *jazz hands* and#talking too fast and too much and oversharing. yesterday i was instrucing an undergrad and felt so bad bc my brain was all over the place.#could not b made linear. im tired now tho bc theres nothing more draining than being emotionally honest and talking for like 2hrs. woof. it#so hot. like fucking so hot bc the monsoons have started and humidity is up so my swamp cooler is fucked and its gotta b at least 80 degree#inside my apartment. holy christ. and the temp has been over 100 degrees for like at least 2 weeks. its so hot its kinda alarming. and im#glad my friend was also freaked out by how hot its been bc oh god its hot. and i cant focus. ive done fuck all today. but i did get rid of#couch which is so so so great. ugh. someone make the sun stop making it so hot#unrelated#its been over 100 degrees outside for like 2 weeks. not on my apartment#and when i say i wish i spent more time with my friend irl. i mean it in a distant sort of way. like thats how im supposed to feel. like i#dont kno if thats actually what i feel or i kno im supposed to b social but idk if i actually mean it
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imthatqueerkid · 1 year ago
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CRUSH BLOGGING DAY 365!!!!!!
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zemnarihah · 1 year ago
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man
#i went to go see my dad bc his mom died this morning. and he was like clearly having a hard time with it i think more so than he was really#letting on. and its weird bc i was telling erik how it feels like nowadays this is like. a different version of my dad like it really doesn#feel like the same person who traumatized me and my siblings growing up. that feels like a ghost almost idk. but he was talking to me abt#his mom who from the little bits ive gathered here and there i can assume she was pretty emotionally abusive to him. but he said.#'my mom definitely made a few mistakes with me. but i have to try to move on and live my life as best as i can'. god i felt like i was#looking in a mirror. he seemed so sad it was like he was trying to convince himself. and trying so hard not to be mad even though he has#every right to. but i guess at a certain point you do have to let it go. idk. i guess i never really see him be very vulnerable except when#it comes to the church. he did talk about the church as well he said that as much as she mistreated him hes grateful she gave him faith in#god and that he thinks thats the most important thing a parent can give their child. and i didnt rlly know what to say ig mostly i was just#letting him talk. but god. it was hard. i hope maybe this is like.his chance to let go of all the hurt from his childhood. that he gets to#finally grieve it along with her. idk.#i feel like my view of my father gets more complicated every year i get older. i just dont always know how to reckon with it.
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