#but this is also part of the reason why i barely care for tv series campion anymore

[handfulofmuses]

Kudos to Netflix Campion who went against Woundwort's orders without any regrets, didn't became an edge lord unlike his tv series counterpart didn't go boo hoo i'm about to betray my chief rabbit woe is me ): i absolutely have no honor ):, remained badass while he was at it by his tension with orchis

[koqabear]

(Un)Professional

♫: te pongo mal, Kali Uchis

“When Soobin struck up the proposition to be friends with benefits, he did it under the guise of remaining single and focusing on his music, adamant on keeping things “professional”— god forbid anyone else tries to get with you though, because maybe he didn’t really mean it when he told you no strings attached.”

Soobin x fem!reader

Genre: fwb to ???, pwp, kinda angst, smut, rockstar!au

Word count: 4.5K

warnings: soobin is actually kinda mean and toxic but they have their little redemption arc idk TT… barely edited sorry

smut warnings: mean/hard dom! soobin, sub!mc, mc is kinda bratty, so also brat tamer soobin hehe, rough sex, unprotected sex, pet names, (pretty, baby, etc.) possessiveness, jealousy, degrading, thigh riding, dry humping, breast play, edging, marking, biting, oral (f. rec.), fingering, dacryphilia, hair pulling, dumbification, creampie (lmk if i should add anything!)

Notes: this is a mini series that was made simply because i am an indecisive loser. don’t ask why i was listening to reggaeton for a rockstar au, it just happened 😭 also i wrote all these parts after midnight bc that’s the only time i was able to write i guess— in other words… don’t expect too much from this. 

Soobin doesn’t do relationships. 

There’s no room for something as fragile as that in his life, at least not when he’s traveling to a new state every day for his tours— the last thing Soobin would ever do is fuck up what he already has just for something as fickle as love. 

However, he is a man with needs��� needs that are gladly fulfilled by you, his pretty best friend that always travels with them. 

He’s known you long enough to have struck up this arrangement confidently; knowing there would be no strings attached, not able to form any feelings for someone he’s been content being just friends with for— well, forever. 

So this— his pounding heart, his brows that furrow together with frustration, his hands that grip his microphone a little tighter— is definitely new. 

There is no logical reason as to why he should be feeling like this; there’s no logical explanation as to why it’s been such an eyesore to watch Yeonjun interact with you the whole night, watching the way the man not so subtly sends winks and coy smiles in your direction, Soobin’s lips being bitten at as he watches the way you merely smile cutely in response. 

You don’t even act this way with him; every time you’ve come to their shows, you’ve always made it a point to act normal whenever Soobin comes around— just enough excitement to make you seem like a fan, but not enough to make it seem like you know him— you’ve learned this the hard way.

“Tone it down a bit next time, yeah?” Soobin told you once, as you laid in his hotel bed and surfed through the tv channels with droopy eyes, “If we’re gonna keep doing this, we should be professional about it.”

His words garnered a massive roll of your eyes— what the fuck did he even mean by that? It’s a concert, of course you had to seem excited— but it seems as though you took his comment to heart, watching the way your excitement dies down the moment Soobin approaches your side. 

No one’s watching you— no one cares about what faces you make or what you say when Soobin stands before you, but the thought of him telling you to keep it professional pisses you off so much that you decide to show him just how good of an actress you are; the difference of reactions is almost incredible, and you take in the way Soobin’s eyes narrow at the sight of you. 

There’s no reason he should get mad— after all, there’s nothing between you. 

Agreeing to this was a stupid idea. What kind of a self-destructive freak agrees to be friends with benefits with someone they had feelings for? A self-destructive freak like you apparently, because as you watch Soobin leave with one last glance at you, you can’t help but wish that he was just a bit mad. 

The two of you distract yourselves in your own ways; Soobin tries not to visit your section for the rest of the night, and you try to get the attention of the rest of the members in response— and the boys, surprised to see your excited attitude when they come around, are more than happy to oblige— and if the fans noticed that Soobin seemed to be in a bad mood for part of the show, well, that’s on him.

You feel a bit more tired than usual by the time the concert ends— you’re not sure why, but you find yourself trudging backstage because of that; maybe you should just go to the hotel instead of congratulating the boys for their show like you usually do. 

“Oh, hey ___!” Yeonjun spots you before you can turn on your heels and exit; you’re immediately putting on a bright smile as the said man throws an arm around you, still in his encore outfit as he drags you along the halls and undoubtedly to where the rest of the members are, “What’d you think of the concert? It was good huh?”

“As always,” you smile, nudging Yeonjun softly as he clearly waits for you to continue, “You were great out there, your energy was insane.”

“Why thank you,” he purrs, leaning in and watching as you scoff at him playfully, “Watching you enjoy yourself practically gave me all the energy I needed.”

You don’t find yourself surprised by his comment; Yeonjun is always like this, his flirty and suggestive behavior nothing out of the ordinary as you simply scold him to get out of your face— you’re so caught up in bickering with the man that you don’t notice the heated stare of another, brows twitching at the way you laugh and play along with Yeonjun.

After a moment though, you feel it— your head is turning before you can really process it, and you’re meeting eyes with Soobin, who looks… well, pissed off.

Before you can get a good look at his face, he’s standing abruptly; taking long strides to where you are, your heart beginning to pound at the sight of him slowing to a stop next to you. 

“Meet me outside.” His voice is gruff and on edge as he whispers the words lowly to you, walking off without another word as you simply turn to watch— because of course he wouldn’t try to get Yeonjun off you or outwardly ask for your attention, choosing instead to relay you a quiet message before he’s off, regardless of the way everyone sends him a confused look as they watch him leave. 

“He looks mad,” Yeonjun hums, watching as you shrug his arm off gently, “Gonna try to talk to him?”

You sigh, hoping he doesn’t see the way your hands grab at the hem of your shirt anxiously. 

“Yeah,” you say, then you’re off, barely able to turn the corner once you’ve exited before you’re harshly pulled by none other than Soobin.

“Ow— what the fuck—!” Soobin’s hold on your wrist is bruising as he pushes you into the room next door, a changing room that’s not meant to hold multiple people as he simply locks the door behind him and pushes you against the wall; he doesn’t bother to turn on the lights as he approaches you— the light that comes through the frosted window on the door becomes the only thing that allows you to see Soobin’s frustrated expression. 

“Had fun flirting with the others?” He asks, his lips so close that you’re able to feel the puff of his breath as he huffs in frustration— the room is so small as you press yourself against the wall, feeling as though Soobin is filling your senses and making you dizzy, “Was that your little way to try and get my attention? Because it fucking worked, you poor little thing.”

“The fuck are you talking about?” you hiss, pressing a hand against Soobin’s chest as you feel him try to swoop in to kiss you, his hands already sliding under the hem of your shirt to trace shapes along your skin, “I’m friends with the others too, you know.”

“Have you always been this friendly with them? Hmm?” he asks, slotting a knee between your legs as you’re left to look up at him speechlessly, “What, gonna try to fuck them next?” 

“Dude, what’s your fucking problem!” you hiss, punctuating your words with a punch to his chest as you glare at him, not lost upon the fact that his thigh is pressed firmly against your cunt, your skirt fanning along his leg and hiding the way he’s flexing and pushing it against you.

“And if I wanted to, then what?” you ask, pretending as though you haven’t given in to the way Soobin’s hands are guiding your hips, making you grind against him as he feels the way you become wet by his actions, “What’ll you do, get jealous? Try to stop me? That wouldn’t be very professional of you— I might as well ask Yeonjun if he’s free after this.”

“Don’t get fucking smart with me,” He says, a hand coming up to grab your cheeks and tilt your head toward him, “I’m not letting any other bitch get with you, touching what’s mine.”

It’s just his arrogance and possessiveness talking again— at least that’s what you tell yourself, failing to hold back your weak whimper as you roll your hips against him, feeling him press against your hip and rut his hard cock against you slowly. 

“I’m not fucking yours,” you grit out, your words muffled as you try to speak through the hold that Soobin still has on you, “The only reason why we’re still friends is so you can get a good fuck, don’t lie—”

Soobin is kissing you before you can finish your sentence— if he wasn’t angry before, he definitely was now, his teeth clashing against yours as he kisses you roughly and without control, a mess of spit as he bites down on your lip, drinking in your pained moan before he’s slipping his tongue in to get a taste.

He’s noticed the way your hips have begun to move erratically; your hands are gripping tightly at his shirt, probably stretching it out as you continue to moan into his mouth, a hand guiding your movements as he flexes and presses his thigh firmer against you, his free hand letting go of your face to slip under your shirt and get access to your breasts as he begins to roll and pinch your nipples between his fingers. 

“Do you like it when I treat you like this?” he asks breathlessly, finally pulling away to watch the way a string of saliva continues to connect you— the sight is filthy and has your brows furrowing as you bite your swollen lips in hopes to muffle your sounds, “Like you’re nothing more than a fucktoy for me to use after my shows? A good little thing to take my stress out on?”

The pleasure is beginning to build up— there’s a tight knot in your stomach, making your brain go foggy as you feel the way your clit rubs against Soobin’s thigh every time you angle your hips a certain way, feeling as you soak your panties and his sweats the longer you rut against him.

Soobin simply watches you with a small smile; his eyes are lidded as he leans back, eyes glued to the way you roll your hips against him, weak whines becoming louder and more frantic as you begin to pull at his shirt with wide, teary eyes. 

But before you can finally cum, he pulls away. You’re whining softly at the loss, hitting his chest petulantly as you curse at him under your breath— before you can land another hit, he grabs your wrists, freezing you entirely as he sends you a sly look, leaning in so he can whisper in your ear.

“You’ll let me fuck you, right? You can always go to someone else if you need to cum,” he says, waiting for your response as he begins to kiss and suck at the spot just under your ear, knowing how sensitive you are as he feels the way you attempt to curl into yourself.

“Fuck you,” you whine out, attempting to shake his hold off you, only to fail— he simply laughs softly, sinking his teeth into the marked flesh as he listens to the yelp you let out. 

“I’m trying,” he huffs out, finally pulling away as he sends you a childish grin, “Now be good and turn around for me, okay sweet thing?”

The nickname catches you so off guard that you don’t protest the way Soobin turns you around without another word, your cheek pressed against the wall and your hands held behind your back as you continue to curse at him quietly— and judging by the way Soobin simply laughs softly, he’s definitely enjoying himself, shameless as ever as you listen to the sounds of shifting behind you.

You hope he doesn’t notice the way your breath hitches as you feel him push your panties aside, his tip brushing against your entrance— swiping at your leaking slit to gather your wetness, clearly teasing you as he takes in the way you try to push back against him, letting out a soft please as you feel his tip sink into you slightly, feeling the way you stretch around him before he’s pulling back out.

“Please? Why are you begging for me, baby?” he asks, slowly beginning to push in as he watches you rest your forehead against the wall, letting out a shaky sigh at the stretch, “I’m not here for you— you can go to another one of your toys if you’re looking for someone to worship you.”

You can’t bring yourself to say anything as you feel him bottom out inside you— no matter how many times you find yourself in this situation, you can never get used to it, the size of him enough to have your eyes rolling back as you feel his tip prod at your cervix, hips flush against your ass as he begins to grind softly into you. 

It’s not enough— not for you, and certainly not for him, though he refuses to give you the pleasure of fucking you stupid so soon as he watches instead the way you begin to squirm, wanting more as you hang your head and try to fuck yourself against him— all attempts are quickly stopped as Soobin uses a hand to still your movement, firm on your waist and forcing you back against the wall as the other continues to bind your hands, pressing your fists against the small of your back and watching with a sly smile as you begin to arch in response. 

“Why are you so quiet?” he asks softly, leaning in to trail kisses along your neck, continuing his slow and agonizing pace, “Usually you’re so loud I have to keep a hand on your mouth.”

You refuse to give into him— refuse to let him hear what he wants, ignoring the ache between your legs and the fire in your stomach that just begs to be put out— but the way you’re leaking around Soobin’s length and clenching around him is giving you away, and it’s enough to have you turning away from him in hopes that he won’t be able to read your expression. 

This proves to be harder than you expected; Soobin’s hand has let go of your waist in favor to play with your clit, nimble fingers circling and pinching the bud as he begins to thrust shallowly, listening to the way you try to swallow your sounds and keep your eyes shut at the feeling— it isn’t long before he’s building you up again, taking in the way your legs shake and you begin to push back against him subconsciously, giving away just how needy you are as your fists tighten. 

You’re close, so fucking close, maybe if you stay quiet Soobin won’t notice— but, for a man who insists you two aren’t anything, he’s eerily aware of the way your body gets when you’re about to cum— meaning, all his movement immediately stops the moment you’re about to tumble over the edge, bottoming out inside you and laughing mockingly as he listens to the broken sound you let out. 

“Fuck, I’m so tired from today’s show,” Soobin groans, resting his forehead on your shoulder, beginning his slow, shallow thrusts again after a moment, “You don’t mind if I take it slow tonight, do you?”

You say nothing— you have yet to say anything that would irritate or please Soobin, and that in itself is enough to egg him on— because even if you refuse to talk, the way your body trembles from his touch and you bite your lips to suppress sounds is enough to tell him all he needs to know. 

The way you clench around Soobin when he begins to play with your clit almost has him cumming— he has to concentrate on not doing so as he takes in the weak whine you let out, your previous orgasms being built up once more as you let out a shaky sigh, listening to the wet sounds that come from the way Soobin fucks you. 

You’re trying so hard to remain neutral as he winds you up— but god, he knows you like the back of his hand, his hips rutting and rolling into you as he does everything to make you go insane, already feeling your high creep up on your from how up-tight your body is. 

“Feels good?” He asks, using your hands as leverage as he pulls you back into him for a particularly harsh thrust— the suddenness of it has you moaning loudly, your lips immediately pressing together as you feel your face grow hot— Soobin’s cocky laugh is both annoying and hot and you hate yourself for feeling that way. 

“Don’t worry, you don’t have to say anything,” he grins, picking up his pace as he watches the way you begin to break, weak moans and whines leaving you from how harshly he thrusts his cock into you, “I’ll do all the work, just stand there and look pretty, okay?”

You can feel your high approaching— it’s intense and fast, and you’re barely able to process the way your mouth falls open as you begin to chase the feeling, ready to fall over the edge and cream all over Soobin’s cock when—-

Like an absolute jerk, he pulls out. 

“You know what?” he says, talking more to himself than anything as he turns you back around and tucks himself back in, your back colliding with the wall behind you as your breath hitches, watching as he falls to his knees and sends you an innocent look, “I haven’t tasted you in so long, baby— fuck, I can’t help myself, I’ll be quick.”

Soobin is never like this— you’ve only ever experienced quickies backstage, so to say that you’re surprised to see the man dragging things out here is an understatement, letting out a shaky sigh as he throws your leg over his shoulder and scoots closer to you, burying himself under your skirt without hesitation. 

You’re practically dripping on the floor— it’s even worse when his fingers begin to prod at your entrance, feeling the way your walls clench wildly at the feeling and your hips thrust toward the sensation; Soobin’s tongue licks at your clit teasingly, taking his time to trace circles around it as he finally sinks his fingers inside you, curling them and pressing against all your sensitive spots as he takes in the way you squirm above him. 

Soobin’s face is practically suffocated by your cunt— you’re not sure how long he does this for, but he proceeds to bring you close to orgasm only to pull away a few more times, listening to the way you begin to cry and plead a bit more with each one. 

At some point— your fifth ruined orgasm, you think you’ve lost count— you find yourself pulling at his hair and begging, the words stuttered out through hiccups as you feel hot tears stream down your cheeks, pleading Soobin to let you cum as you grind your pussy along his face, feeling his tongue dip to your entrance before he’s back to teasing your clit, laughing softly at the sound before he finally emerges from under your skirt— his face is shiny and flushed as he looks up at you, sending you a grin that only has you pouting even more. 

“What’s wrong?” he asks, feigning concern as he begins to run his hands along your thighs, waiting patiently for you to respond as he begins trailing kisses up your legs, hearing your soft sniffles as he reaches your inner thighs, “Aren’t you enjoying yourself?”

“Soobin,” you whine, shutting your eyes as you feel his swollen lips leave opened-mouthed kisses on your inner thighs, already soaked with your arousal as he licks it up, only to begin biting and sucking at the area leisurely, “Soobin please—please let me cum, wanna cum so bad, please.”

The sound of your begging is welcomed to his ears— he looks up at you through his lashes, sparkling eyes a stark contrast to the filthy way he continues to mark your thighs, ignoring your soft whines that others will see them, please binnie…

“Others will see them?” he repeats, clenching his jaw at the way you nod frantically, a clear concern in your eyes— slowly, he stands, hooking your leg over his waist as he presses himself against you, hissing softly at the way you immediately soak through his sweats, “So what? Let them see. That way they know what happens when we’re alone.”

“But… we shouldn’t— you said we need to keep this hidden…” His words are nothing but confusing— you’re sure it reads on your face, because Soobin is aligning his cock with your entrance once more, chuckling softly at your expression before he shakes his head in exasperation.

“Did I? Well, I don’t wanna hide it anymore,” he says, eyes lidded and filled with need as he sinks himself slowly into you; your eyes are threatening to flutter shut at the sensation, only to be stopped at the feeling of Soobin cupping your chin, telling you softly look at me. before he finally bottoms out.

“Want everyone to know you’re mine,” he says, and you’re more than ready to respond with another mean comment before he continues, “And that I’m all yours. Don’t want anyone else to touch you.”

“W…what—?” your words are being cut short by the feeling of him fucking into you again, a hand coming up to grab his shoulder and your leg pulling him in closer in fear of having your orgasm ruined again— Soobin simply huffs, his hands going to hold onto your hips to fuck into you better, indulging in your fucked out face and dazed eyes as he smiles softly; slowly, he’s leaning in, lips brushing against yours as he speaks. 

“‘m so fucking stupid for starting all this,” he laughs softly, holding back a moan at the way you clench around him, your nails digging into your shoulder slightly, “Told myself I’d never catch any feelings like this— fuck, look at me now…”

“Just wanna keep you for myself— maybe I’m being selfish but… fuck,” you think you’re getting the gist of what he means— your free hand comes up to tangle itself in his hair as you close the gap between the two of you, hoping that you’re not misinterpreting his words as you feel him fuck you faster, setting a rhythm that has your eyes rolling back and your mouth falling open, so wound up from tonight that you think your legs might give out any moment now. 

“Soobin,” you whine out, pulling at his hair and shirt as you begin bucking your hips at him, trying to fuck yourself on his cock as you whine, “Please let me cum— please please please, need it so bad, just wanna cum, please?”

The way you’re whining and begging is more than enough to Soobin; he’s gripping your hips and fucking you harder, eyes widening slightly at the way your sounds increase in volume, too fucked dumb to even realize.

“Shit,” Soobin grits out, planting his hand on your mouth and telling you to quiet down, “You were really holding back, huh? There’s my girl, all loud and pretty for me.”

He’s cooing softly at the way tears well up in your eyes and spill promptly after; running over his skin, biting at his lip to suppress sounds of his own as he feels the way you become impossibly tight around him.

“You gonna cum? Pretty doll just wants to cream my cock, finally had enough of me using you, right?” The way you’re nodding mindlessly only spurs Soobin on, insanely turned on by the way you’ve become fucked stupid, “Come on baby, show me how good you feel, been waiting patiently to cum, such a perfect doll.”

He’s cooing softly and talking you through your orgasm— you don’t even realize that your legs have given out, and Soobin’s hands are flying to support you as he holds you up, pressing himself fully against you and grinding his hips into you as your head falls on his shoulder; your sounds are muffled by the fabric of his hoodie as you bury your head further into him, pressed entirely against the wall and left to Soobin’s mercy as you allow him to continue rutting into you slowly.

“Binnie,” you whine out, right next to his ears as you begin to speak quietly to him, “Want you to cum inside, fill me up please? Never wanted any other guys but you, just wanna feel you cum inside, please…”

Your soft pleas set Soobin off immediately— his hips are bucking into you so roughly that your body is jolting with every thrust, his head burying itself in your neck as he lets out a soft groan— you then feel the way he fills you up, warm cum staying inside from the way he continues to fuck you well after he’s calmed down, his shuddering breaths on your skin enough to know that how sensitive he is.

For a moment, you just stay there; pressed against the wall as Soobin slowly pulls his cock out of you, feeling the way his release begins to drip out from how much he filled you— your chest is heaving against his as you attempt to catch your breath, legs still weak as you take advantage of Soobin’s strength to help hold you up. 

Soobin’s arms wrap around your waist; he’s pulling you in even closer, your bodies melting together as he nuzzles his head into your neck, inhaling slowly as your own hesitant hands come up to embrace Soobin.

“Sorry I was so horrible to you,” he says, littering kisses on the exposed skin of your neck before he continues, “But I did mean that whole thing about catching feelings— the timing’s horrible, I know— but….”

You hum softly, as though lost in thought, “How long have you felt like this?”

“I… this whole time,” he admits, his face growing hotter at the confession, “I was just in denial half the time we did this whole thing— god, why do you think I suggested it in the first place…?”

You hold back a laugh— Soobin however, is nervous at your lack of reaction, pulling away from his hiding place to analyze your expression.

“I’m sorry. Is this weird? I understand if you don’t feel the same way, I’m really sorry if you felt uncomfortable with anything I did today, I seriously don’t know what I was thinking—“

You’re cutting him off with a kiss— but it’s gentle this time, and you really take a moment to feel his soft lips as you feel him smile against you, his cheeks warm under your touch as you finally pull away. 

“Soobin,” you say softly, smiling fondly at the way he lets out a soft hmm? in response, “I feel the same. But yeah, you were a fucking jerk with me.”

“I’m sorry,” he says immediately, cupping your face as he sports the look of a kicked puppy, eyes filled with nothing but guilt, “I’m sorry, I seriously never meant to go that far, I should’ve just asked you out like a normal person instead of being so mean.”

“I don’t know,” you say, pouting softly as his eyes widen softly, seemingly afraid of what you might say; you simply peck at his lips chastely, unable to hold back your laugh at his expression, “I kinda liked it.”

Your words are horribly confusing to Soobin— but hey, at least he knows how you feel. 

[melrosing]

so stuff I’ve not liked about the finale and S2 more generally…. unfortunately it’s a lot and i'm thinking i might need to say this in several parts but first and foremost: the pacing really was shit and i don't just mean there weren't enough action scenes i mean the whole season they've had almost nothing to say about these characters and have just been making us think they do by having them repeat the same ham-fisted monologues about power and peace and the cost of war and whatever whilst moving at a glacial pace from one minor plot point to another and by the end of it most of these characters STILL haven't changed, and where they have it feels undeserved, and yes they really are at roughly the place they started so what have they even got to show for these eight hours of TV?? like damn

and I do get that the writer's strike has really effected them here and HBO hacking two eps off their season affected them too and that really can't be helped. but the pacing has been pretty poor from kick off and I can't just put it down to this being a more 'internal' season. i do not care about big battles. it's fine to have a season of a show that’s more about the characters’ interiority rather than plot action. that’s the exact reason why I like AFFC so much.

but these characters barely have interiority like idk what to say. some like Rhaenyra, Jace and Alicent have been spouting the same monologues every episode about wanting peace/wanting agency/wanting peace again etc etc, and the more interesting moments like Alicent's apparent suicide attempts, Rhaenyra's butchering of the dragonseeds etc... I mean where IS the interiority here?? unless they are spelling out a character's thoughts in the most literal way they can (as per Jace's diatribes about the dragonseeds), they leave their audience to do absolutely all the work by showing us nothing, and just leaving us to figure that the characters must be having some kind of thoughts but y'all can decide what they are.

and even Daemon, whose entire ARC was about his interiority.... like look I was so so ready to love this arc. i love fucked up little dream sequences. i love harrenhal. i was really enjoying the angle they took with alys. i was here for it. but now we've seen the whole of his S2 arc, im going to say yes, it was intended as a redemption adjacent kind of arc, and it isn't a very good one. Daemon has a handful of weird dreams, gets shouted at by some Riverlands folk, and he's a changed man.

consider the character everyone compares Daemon to (and who I'm always more than happy to talk about) and that's Jaime. and look at the sheer ground covered in ASOS: Jaime breaks out of a dungeon, Jaime meets a younger version of himself, Jaime gets his hand hacked off, Jaime reveals his anime villain backstory in the bath, Jaime deals with Roose Bolton, Jaime has a weird weirwood dream, Jaime fights a fucking bear - and at this point we're still only about halfway through.

now in contrast, what have they actually managed to do with Daemon this season. where has that finale moment with Rhaenyra been earned. this is not slow pacing for the sake of powerful character development, it's slow because they don't have anything else to say.

and also look at the state of characters like Aemond who seemed really promising in S1, yet in this season he barely reflects on the fact that he hadn't meant to kill Luke, and this war is an accident that he started, etc etc - he's just a killing machine lol. there were some nice touches in there, like i say i enjoyed Helaena telling Aemond how he'll die in the finale. but I no longer trust these writers to do anything with their more inspired ideas because they just consistently fail to do so.

look at Baela!!! like my god, has Baela had the opportunity to do anything except A) what she's told and B) counsel men on their feelings. she has like one moment looking at Daemon and you feel like the series is going to explore how complex it is to be Daemon Targaryen's daughter.... but my god they never do!! so where IS this interiority we've spent eight episodes on! what have they got to show for it!!

and i talked more weeks back about how frustrating i've found the writing of women more generally in this series and as of the finale I am finding it so egregious and so condescending. women want peace. women want to protect their children. women are tired of men. women are tired of war. women are trying to end this war peacefully. women are pacifists. women hate violence. and so on and so on and so on like jesus christ who am i even talking about here. even i don't know. it's so boring. it's so dry. and it requires female characters to always be the paragons of virtue, never do anything truly condemnable, never be unlikeable, never fucking anything except stand around saying how much they hate this. im bored of it and it makes me angry that they would do this in a series that specifically seeks to make everyone grey and everyone complex - they keep suggesting that might extend to the women before abruptly shutting it down again. see Alicent and Rhaenyra even STILL, after EVERYTHING, trying to peacefully shut down the war for the sake of love and friendship in the goddamn finale. I don't believe it anymore!! it's not cute! it's just dull!!!

and finally that just kind of brings me to how shortsighted a lot of the plot developments seem, when you see how the characters fail to reckon with their pasts or shit that just happened. Rhaenyra and Mysaria make out, and then that's never mentioned again and the tone never changes between them. Rhaenyra is done thinking about Luke. Helaena is done thinking about Jaehaerys. Aegon actually didn't mention Jaehaerys in the list of things he's 'lost' in that finale. Alicent's relationship w Viserys was just now condensed to 'we were fond of each other but he always liked your mum better'

like idk it's just. if this season's pacing is all about giving characters the chance to change and grow into the people they'll be when this war REALLY kicks off.... do it. write it. do not just write the same monologue a dozen times and hope it'll hit harder with each. doesn't work like that. sorry.

[greenerteacups]

oooh please someday tell us what you think of GOT

oh, no, it's my fatal weakness! it's [checks notes] literally just the bare modicum of temptation! okay you got me.

SO. in order to tell what's wrong with game of thrones you kind of have to have read the books, because the books are the reason the show goes off the rails. i actually blame the showrunners relatively little in proportion to GRRM for how bad the show was (which I'm not gonna rehash here because if you're interested in GOT in any capacity you've already seen that horse flogged to death). people debate when GOT "got bad" in terms of writing, but regardless of when you think it dropped off, everyone agrees the quality declined sharply in season 8, and to a certain extent, season 7. these are the seasons that are more or less entirely spun from whole cloth, because season 7 marks the beginning of what will, if we ever see it, be the Winds of Winter storyline. it's the first part that isn't based on a book by George R.R. Martin. it's said that he gave the showrunners plot outlines, but we don't know how detailed they were, or how much the writers diverged from the blueprint — and honestly, considering the cumulative changes made to the story by that point, some stark divergence would have been required. (there's a reason for this. i'll get there in a sec.)

so far, i'm not saying anything all that original. a lot of people recognized how bad the show got as soon as they ran out of Book to adapt. (I think it's kind of weird that they agreed to make a show about an unfinished series in the first place — did GRRM figure that this was his one shot at a really good HBO adaptation, and forego misgivings about his ability to write two full books in however many years it took to adapt? did he think they would wait for him? did he not care that the series would eventually spoil his magnum opus, which he's spent the last three decades of his life writing? perplexing.) but the more interesting question is why the show got bad once it ran out of Book, because in my mind, that's not a given. a lot of great shows depart from the books they were based on. fanfiction does exactly that, all the time! if you have good writers who understand the characters they're working with, departure means a different story, not a worse one. now, the natural reply would be to say that the writers of GOT just aren't good, or at least aren't good at the things that make for great television, and that's why they needed the books as a structure, but I don't think that's true or fair, either. books and television are very different things. the pacing of a book is totally different from the pacing of a television show, and even an episodic book like ASOIAF is going to need a lot of work before it's remotely watchable as a series. bad writers cannot make great series of television, regardless of how good their source material is. sure, they didn't invent the characters of tyrion lannister and daenerys targaryen, but they sure as hell understood story structure well enough to write a damn compelling season of TV about them!

so but then: what gives? i actually do think it's a problem with the books! the show starts out as very faithful to the early books (namely, A Game of Thrones and A Clash of Kings) to the point that most plotlines are copied beat-for-beat. the story is constructed a little differently, and it's definitely condensed, but the meat is still there. and not surprisingly, the early books in ASOIAF are very tightly written. for how long they are, you wouldn't expect it, but on every page of those books, the plot is racing. you can practically watch george trying to beat the fucking clock. and he does! useful context here is that he originally thought GOT was going to be a trilogy, and so the scope of most threads in the first book or two would have been much smaller. it also helps that the first three books are in some respects self-contained stories. the first book is a mystery, the second and third are espionage and war dramas — and they're kept tight in order to serve those respective plots.

the trouble begins with A Feast for Crows, and arguably A Storm of Swords, because GRRM starts multiplying plotlines and treating the series as a story, rather than each individual book. he also massively underestimated the number of pages it would take him to get through certain plot beats — an assumption whose foundation is unclear, because from a reader's standpoint, there is a fucke tonne of shit in Feast and Dance that's spurious. I'm not talking about Brienne's Riverlands storyline (which I adore thematically but speaking honestly should have been its own novella, not a part of Feast proper). I'm talking about whole chapters where Tyrion is sitting on his ass in the river, just talking to people. (will I eat crow about this if these pay off in hugely satisfying ways in Winds or Dream? oh, totally. my brothers, i will gorge myself on sweet sweet corvid. i will wear a dunce cap in the square, and gleefully, if these turn out to not have been wastes of time. the fact that i am writing this means i am willing to stake a non-negligible amount of pride on the prediction that that will not happen). I'm talking about scenes where the characters stare at each other and talk idly about things that have already happened while the author describes things we already have seen in excruciating detail. i'm talking about threads that, while forgivable in a different novel, are unforgivable in this one, because you are neglecting your main characters and their story. and don't tell me you think that a day-by-day account tyrion's river cruise is necessary to telling his story, because in the count of monte cristo, the main guy disappears for nine years and comes hurtling back into the story as a vengeful aristocrat! and while time jumps like that don't work for everything, they certainly do work if what you're talking about isn't a major story thread!

now put aside whether or not all these meandering, unconcluded threads are enjoyable to read (as, in fairness, they often are!). think about them as if you're a tv showrunner. these bad boys are your worst nightmare. because while you know the author put them in for a reason, you haven't read the conclusion to the arc, so you don't know what that reason is. and even if the author tells you in broad strokes how things are going to end for any particular character (and this is a big "if," because GRRM's whole style is that he lets plots "develop as he goes," so I'm not actually convinced that he does have endings written out for most major characters), that still doesn't help you get them from point A (meandering storyline) to point B (actual conclusion). oh, and by the way, you have under a year to write this full season of television, while GRRM has been thinking about how to end the books for at least 10. all of this means you have to basically call an audible on whether or not certain arcs are going to pay off, and, if they are, whether they make for good television, and hence are worth writing. and you have to do that for every. single. unfinished. story. in the books.

here's an example: in the books, Quentin Martell goes on a quest to marry Daenerys and gain a dragon. many chapters are spent detailing this quest. spoiler alert: he fails, and he gets charbroiled by dragons. GRRM includes this plot to set up the actions of House Martell in Winds, but the problem is that we don't know what House Martell does in Winds, because (see above) the book DNE. So, although we can reliably bet that the showrunners understand (1) Daenerys is coming to Westeros with her 3 fantasy nukes, and (2) at some point they're gonna have to deal with the invasion of frozombies from Canada, that DOESN'T mean they necessarily know exactly what's going to happen to Dorne, or House Martell. i mean, fuck! we don't even know if Martin knows what's going to happen to Dorne or House Martell, because he's said he's the kind of writer who doesn't set shit out beforehand! so for every "Cersei defaults on millions of dragons in loans from the notorious Bank of Nobody Fucks With Us, assumes this will have no repercussions for her reign or Westerosi politics in general" plotline — which might as well have a big glaring THIS WILL BE IMPORTANT stamp on top of the chapter heading — you have Arianne Martell trying to do a coup/parent trap switcheroo with Myrcella, or Euron the Goffick Antichrist, or Faegon Targaryen and JonCon preparing a Blackfyre restoration, or anything else that might pan out — but might not! And while that uncertainty about what's important to the "overall story" might be a realistic way of depicting human beings in a world ruled by chance and not Destiny, it makes for much better reading than viewing, because Game of Thrones as a fantasy television series was based on the first three books, which are much more traditional "there is a plot and main characters and you can generally tell who they are" kind of book. I see Feast and Dance as a kind of soft reboot for the series in this respect, because they recenter the story around a much larger cast and cast a much broader net in terms of which characters "deserve" narrative attention.

but if you're making a season of television, you can't do that, because you've already set up the basic premise and pacing of your story, and you can't suddenly pivot into a long-form tone poem about the horrors of war. so you have to cut something. but what are you gonna cut? bear in mind that you can't just Forget About Dorne, or the Iron Islands, or the Vale, or the North, or pretty much any region of the story, because it's all interconnected, but to fit in everything from the books would require pacing of the sort that no reasonable audience would ever tolerate. and bear in mind that the later books sprout a lot more of these baby-plots that could go somewhere, but also might end up being secondary or tertiary to the "main story," which, at the end of the day, is about dragons and ice zombies and the rot at the heart of the feudal power system glorified in classical fantasy. that's the story that you as the showrunner absolutely must give them an end to, and that's the story that should be your priority 1.

so you do a hack and slash job, and you mortar over whatever you cut out with storylines that you cook up yourself, but you can't go too far afield, because you still need all the characters more or less in place for the final showdown. so you pinch here and push credulity there, and you do your best to put the characters in more or less the same place they would have been if you kept the original, but on a shorter timeframe. and is it as good as the first seasons? of course not! because the material that you have is not suited to TV like the first seasons are. and not only that, but you are now working with source material that is actively fighting your attempt to constrain a linear and well-paced narrative on it. the text that you're working with changed structure when you weren't looking, and now you have to find some way to shanghai this new sprawling behemoth of a Thing into a television show. oh, and by the way, don't think that the (living) author of the source material will be any help with this, because even though he's got years of experience working in television writing, he doesn't actually know how all of these threads will tie together, which is possibly the reason that the next book has taken over 8 years (now 13 and counting) to write. oh and also, your showrunners are sick of this (in fairness, very difficult) job and they want to go write for star wars instead, so they've refused the extra time the studio offered them for pre-production and pushed through a bunch of first-draft scripts, creating a crunch culture of the type that spawns entirely avoidable mistakes, like, say, some poor set designer leaving a starbucks cup in frame.

anyway, that's what I think went wrong with game of thrones.

[am-i-interrupting]

For the Camera | Vox x OATSH Reader

No prior knowledge of the series required, other than reader is mixed.

Summary: You finally relented and agreed to film as a guest star in a show for your tv host friend. You end up having more fun than anticipated.

Warnings: implied racism, could be read as self image issues also

You knew you were being followed. It’s not like he was being subtle. He was basically running to catch up with you but you’d had your fair share of times where you had to move fast in heels as well as a head start.

You almost couldn’t believe the audacity but was it really do out of line for him? Maybe you just had problems with control. Okay, you knew you did but still! You’d known each other for over a year and a half now. He should know that too. Yet still, he pestered.

He kept pushing even when you shoved back. It didn’t make any sense. You could get most men to leave any subject be with a few well timed movements and words. Why was this one so hard? Why wouldn’t he just drop it?

“You do community theater!” he said as he finally caught up with you. “What’s the difference?”

“If I mess up in a community theater it’s their word against mine. If I mess up in front of a room of qualified actors and directors and set crew, not only am I getting ridiculed on a professional level but also they have proof,” you told him.

“You’ve been live on television before, what makes this different?” he asked. “I’ve messed up plenty and my reputation is still in tact.”

“But look at you,” you said with a gesture to him. “No one cares when someone like you messes up.”

“What are you,” his voice trailed off.

“It’s different, writing a book. No one has to see me when I write a book. The only reason people even know what I look like is because is because I went on your show one time and it wasn’t an art form. It was just an interview. People didn’t come to be entertained. They came to get information. A lot of people in the world don’t like looking at people like me.”

His brow furrowed as did his lips. He looked at you, softly shaking his head.

“Forget it,” you said. “I don’t even know why I’d try to explain. It’s not like you’d understand. You don’t have to put on this act but every single day I have to get up and put on a voice that isn’t mine and clothes that frankly, I don’t like and be so conscious of how I do everything just do people will have just a little bit of respect for me. Still, most of the time it’s in vain because a lot of people will still disrespect me based purely on the fact that I’m a woman. How could you understand that?”

You met his eyes for a moment but you couldn’t bare the look of confusion and pity on his face. You brushed past him and began walking away.

You’d barely gotten two yards away from him before he called out to you, “You’re right! I don’t understand what that’s like but you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and I like looking at you. Just think about it, please.”

You bit down on your lip as you felt it begin to tremble and cursed yourself as your eyes became watery. You didn’t say anything in reply, simply kept walking.

“Are you okay?” he asked beside you as you looked at the bustling set, having just come out of the dressing room. You didn’t answer, just twisted the sleeve of your dress. His hands clasped yours. “You’re going to do great.”

You looked up at him. “I’m not sure,” you said, your voice barely a whisper.

“I am.”

“Everyone in set!” the director called out.

He squeezed your hand. “You’ve got this and I’ll be right beside you the entire time.”

“I’ll track you down and kill ya if you aren’t,” you said, a bit of your southern accent slipping through before you quickly fixed it. He laughed but you didn’t find anything funny.

Then the filming process started. For the most part things went alright. Starting at the introductory scene was for the best as your nerves could come off as a character choice instead of genuine discomfort.

Of course there were some fumbles.

“Oh, you’re following me!” you said as the camera moved with you. “I didn’t know you could do that.”

You heard the man who’d brought you here try and fail to hold back a laugh. You whipped around towards him. “Don’t you laugh at me, mister. You know the only film experience I’ve had was on your show,” you said as you moved back to your original place beside him. He simply looked at you with a smile. “Shut up.”

He held his hands up. “I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t have to.”

For some reason, despite him telling you directly he messed up all the time, you didn’t expect him to.

You were both sitting in the couch, supposed to have a heart to heart between your characters.

“I don’t think your sister likes me,” you said.

He scooted closer to you. He shook his head as he brought his hand up to brush hair behind your ear. “If only I could remember the line and then we could play this scene so beautifully.”

The next day of filming went fairly similar as did the rest of the week. That was until the last day.

You were filming the final scene, a goodbye scene.

“I hate to say goodbye so soon,” you said. “It feels like I just got here.”

“It won’t be long before we can see each other again, dear, I promise,” he said. “The holidays are coming up soon.”

“Soon? If in nearly three months is soon to you then yes, I do suppose they are soon,” you said, letting sarcasm roll off your tongue.

“Then I suppose you don’t want an early gift?” he asked, looking at the train behind you, the station being bought out several hours to film.

“You’ve got a gift for me already?”

He looked down at you with a sly smile. Then he quickly slipped his hand around your waist and to the small of your back to pull you closer to him. He cupped your jaw with his hand as he drew you in for a kiss.

Vaguely you heard the director yelling well, directions for what to do. You weren’t entirely sure if you were following them and you didn’t exactly care.

As soon as his lips met yours, the entire world faded to black. The only thing in color was him. His hands on your back and your face. His body pressed against yours. The feeling of his shoulder underneath your arm. His hair, silky smooth underneath the layer stiff with gel. The hat that brushed against your hand and then fell in the floor as you ran your fingers through it.

He pulled away and you followed him.

You let your eyes remain closed for a moment as you found yourself already reminiscing. You dropped yourself down to the flats of your feet. You met his gaze which seemed just as hazed as your own.

Finding yourself once again in reality, where he’d just kissed you in front of a room of strangers (to you at least). “You cad,” you said breathlessly. His smile didn’t help you gain anymore oxygen

“Kissed her good, didn’t he?” a crew member said not knowing he was in earshot of you as you grabbed your things to leave.

“Ah, nothing special. It’s just television.”

You felt your heart tighten at the reminder. Quickly you grabbed your things and left, not hearing the first man say, “Looked special to me.”

[cassowariess]

Thinking about Daenerys Targaryen again and how there's such a fundamental misunderstanding of the character from both the fans and haters of her.

To be clear, I still think the way the TV series ended her arc was sloppily done, and the reason so many people were blindsided by it was because there were several narrative beats that were skipped. Yes, she is ruthless and violent throughout the series, but going from "I have distorted morals yet still think I'm doing the right thing" to 'I'm going to burn innocent civilians that never did me any harm and I have had zero contact with up until this point" is still a leap. A leap that could have been avoided if we'd had more scenes with her unravelling in private and less barely visible battle scenes. But, I digress. This isn't wholly about the TV series ending. It's about the character and how I disagree with people who are determined to paint her as an angelic saviour or evil incarnate. Both of which do the character a massive disservice.

What Dany is, is a severely damaged trauma victim who comes into possession of the in world version of nukes. In the books, she is 13 years old when she is sold to Khal Drogo. In both the books and the TV series, she is raped by him. I don't care how people romanticise it. She is. The fact that she falls in love with her captor is a completely understandable trauma response from a girl who has been abused by her brother up until that point. Khal Drogo is a monster, but he's a monster that protects Dany from Viserys and gives her some semblence of power for the first time in her life. You could even say he is her first "dragon." A sign of things to come.

More behind the cut to spare your dashboard (because it's long)

She's fully on board with Drogo violently pillaging villages to get gold and goods so she can take back the Iron Throne until she realises women are being raped. Something she can have empathy with. This is the first sign of Dany's moral compass. She doesn't want people to suffer the way she did.

At the same time, she doesn't understand the nuance of everything that is happening around her. Yes, she saves the women's lives, but she also expects them to be 100% grateful, even though she is part of the culture that raped and pillaged their homes. I suspect this is because the same thing happened to her with Drogo, so in her damaged mind, she's trying to save Mirri Maz Dur while not understanding why Mirri Maz Dur would be mistrustful of her. In the books it is unclear whether Mirri deliberately kills Drogo, or if this is simply what Dany has percieved. Either way, she thinks Mirri murdered her son deliberately, so she has her killed.

A lot of people point to this as proof she was always evil and her burning down King's Landing was inevitable, but Mirri Maz Dur (to Dany, anyway) did something "wrong" and therefore is, to Dany, an enemy. She had zero contact with the people of King's Landing. It would have made more sense for her to burn The North if she perceived them as her enemies. This is where I feel the TV series failed. It needed to show some plot beats before King's Landing burning, and the best way to do this would have been to show Dany having a mental breakdown in private. Even something as simple as crying and pacing would have worked.

G.R.R. Martin has already laid the groundwork for this in the books. The last time we see Dany in A Dance with Dragons she's literally losing her mind in a field somewhere after she cannot cope with ruling Meereen:

 “I am the blood of the dragon,” she told the grass, aloud. Once, the grass whispered back, until you chained your dragons in the dark. “Drogon killed a little girl. Her name was … her name …” Dany could not recall the child’s name. That made her so sad that she would have cried if all her tears had not been burned away. “I will never have a little girl. I was the Mother of Dragons.” Aye, the grass said, but you turned against your children... ...No. You are the blood of the dragon. The whispering was growing fainter, as if Ser Jorah were falling farther behind. Dragons plant no trees. Remember that. Remember who you are, what you were made to be. Remember your words. “Fire and Blood,” Daenerys told the swaying grass.

TV show wise, in the timeline this would be season 5. Skipping this scene, where she hallucinates and decides she can't deal with the pressure and nuances of ruling, was a big mistake. They could have put this scene, or one like it, anywhere in the narrative leading up to King's Landing and it would have made things SO MUCH clearer.

Trauma is complex, and the idea that a 13 year old kid whose coping mechanism is big lizards that breathe fire would be a stable paragon of virtue doesn't line up.

I know a lot of people either want her to be a saviour queen that overcomes her trauma or an evil fascist who was always bad, but Martin doesn't write that way. If he ever finishes the books (which is probably never lol) I'm sure he'll write her in a way that makes sense. Her arc is a Shakespearian tragedy because she might have been a great ruler, if she hadn't had such a painful and fucked up life.

[mikuni14]

The Sign - Ep 4

*sexy sound*: hooya! This series keeps on giving ✨

Let me start by saying that this whole police-investigative part is extremely silly, funny and not reflecting reality (apart from the moment when captain inspector team leader Akk says "that a victim is a victim no matter the gender"), but who am I kidding! I'm not here to analyze police work! So I completely ignore this part. Although I must admit that the police part provides incredible entertainment in the form of Captain Inspector Team Leader Akk (always), the introduction of a new, cool character accompanied by the dramatic sounds of classical music, or the interruption of an intense scene between MLs with important information about the discovery of severed genitalia 👌👌

Apart from that, as always, I like everything. I love how Tharn is shown as just a regular horny gay dude who just thinks about dicks lol How many other BLs, where b stands for BOY, show this? I also like that his fantasies are of him letting Phaya do things to him, being vulnerable by exposing his neck, being pinned down, covered by his lover's body. I also liked that Tharn relives these fantasies in the light of day and indulges in them 🤩 Oh, "sleep wherever you like" was an invitation and that's a fact you will have to pry from my cold, dead hands 😤

I love how this show keeps creating "their things", constantly building them into a couple that has their own behaviors and traits in common, before they even become a real couple. Now it's a shirt grabbing. I love it, I love it when something like this appears and I know 100% that I and the rest of the fans are in these moments like 👀👀 *di Caprio pointing at tv meme*. For me, it's a very important part of a romance when the couple has their "things". "Don't let me hear you talking about you being dead ever again" is such a powerful phrase. Raw. Just as Phaya likes.

I REALLY LIKED THIS WHOLE SCENE WITH THE FURIOUS PHAYA. Everything was perfect here. I really like that Phaya got the opportunity to show this side of him. That he is shown as an angry man, that he is not an ideal man who can control his - also negative - emotions in every situation. Normally, I don't like or tolerate such situations, because the reasons for such outbursts are usually stupid. In this case, I absolve Phaya of his aggressive behavior and his outburst of anger towards Tharn, pushing him away. It wasn't ignoring his calls, which Phaya immediately confronted and resolved. It wasn't an outburst out of jealousy or something like that. This is a completely different, serious situation that only partially concerns his relationship with Tharn. I'm absolutely sure that Phaya has often wondered whether he is mentally ill and that it is a source of a serious fear for him. Mental illness is a taboo in all cultures around the world, as Tharn himself says at the beginning of the series regarding his visions. A physically ill person will be perceived differently than a mentally ill person and Tharn knows this, PHAYA KNOWS THIS and Dr. Poison knows this. The second thing is that Phaya genuinely cares for and trusts Tharn. So at this point Phaya is in agony because not only has his most personal fears been brought to light, it was done by a stranger, a person he can't stand, who is his rival, who finishes him off with the final blow in a calm way when everything inside him is falling apart, but what's more, the blow came from a direction that Phaya DIDN'T expect at all. Phaya asks Tharn several times: "Why did you do that?" because he feels BETRAYED. Phaya is also a proud man who wants his beloved to see only "good and cool" qualities in him, which is completely normal in any relationship, hence his heartbreaking question "DO YOU THINK I'M NUTS?" Really, this scene is great: - Phaya angry, humiliated, hurt, betrayed, barely able to control himself (but even then he doesn't hurt Tharn, the scene is full of aggression and screaming, but Phaya never once crosses the impassable (for me) boundary, he doesn't beat Tharn, it's not even a fight, only two adult, trained men, one of whom pins the other) -Tharn, who is shocked because for the first time Phaya ignores him, does not look at him, it is clear that he is truly angry with him. You can see how Tharn is lost in this new situation, as he stands uncertainly and asks "I'm talking to you. Can you hear me?". And even then, he immediately shows concern for Phaya and his wound on his forehead

I'm grateful for showing this version of Phaya, and also for showing him as a silly, goofy guy throughout the episode in various funny scenes. 👌👌

My theory is that Tharn didn't tell the doctor about Phaya's dreams, I feel like the doctor KNOWS about everything and is a figure who simply has knowledge of what's going on as a deity. He knows when Tharn is especially close to Phaya, as seen in the temple scene, the kiss scene, in breaking of the photo frame, also when he tells Phaya that they will see each often other from now on, when he invites him to dinner with the clear intention of destroying him. I feel like the doc just KNOWS about Phaya's dreams.

Wild theory time! To expand on my original theory, this old woman/girl has helped Wansarat in the past and is helping him now. Wansarat is reborn and in each incarnation dies in childhood as punishment for what he did while saving his lover, Garuda. But this time he survived because he was placed under the care of the abbot of the temple, which is,in a way, his temple. And now, for a first time, Wansarat as Tharn is all grown up and delicious and the one for whom Wansart was originally intended - Dr. Bitch - he finally has a chance to get him. If it weren't for that Pesky Bird 😀

[mochi-kitty]

Being an impulse fan is like walking the edge of a knife sometimes

Rant about cartoon impulse that morphs into complaints about the young justice show itself.

Please scroll I just needed to complain a little

cuz on one hand that’s my boy. My complicated driven and violent creature who sometimes doesn’t understand that danger is realTM… and to see him animated is a dream but the only place he’s really animated is in a half anime half cartoon low effort art style series that sorta got him right in the season they introduced him in but then when the show got rebooted they turned his cringe dial allllll the way up and it’s kind of painful to rewatch because they didn’t hold onto a single bit of his story in the reboot after season 2 and if you thought they hated writing him in the newer comics well they also hate to do it in animation (as said previously they just never know what to do with the flashes hence why Wally barely appeared in Justice league unlimited). Season 2 impulse was okay, I was happy with what I got. Season 3 kid flash was unbearable. Season 4 kid flash was better but not as good as season 2 and they brushed over his involvement like nothing.

It just sucks so much because an impulse series is never going to happen. The TV Industry is too far into other genres like Harley Quinn and kiteman to even attempt spending money on adapting the impulse comics even if it would find a small audience, the fandom is just too divided between the multiple interpretations that were created for Bart Allen over the years. From aging him down when he shouldn’t have been to making him more adult and then never using him or killing him off to make him young again.

And it SUCKS so much because was keeping his comic personality in the young Justice show too much to ask for? Could the writers really not find any use for him past season 2? Could they not be bothered to read up on his lore? Not even from the wiki?

I keep thinking of what it would be like if the show directors had just a little more wiggle room to work with. Like if they didn’t HAVE to keep a central plot involving 30 different characters to wrap up a 24 episode season with a big battle at the end only to remember in hindsight that they A. forgot some characters still had holes in their plots and B. no one got character development that was substantial enough to matter. We had up to nearly a decade between season 2 and season 3 and it was a miracle in itself that it even got this chance in the first place. Even I admit I was too excited to care at the time but now it’s kind of painful to find all the faults in it when it’s been left again on the back burner of a greedy studio. From the time skips to introducing SO MANY new characters all in one season,,, the show practically dug itself in a hole and I will die on this hill. I understand the time constraints, the money issues, the audience reacting to a new season years after the last one when we’ve turned the internet into a harsher judgement zone. They wanted to include every character DC ever created, if only to please that one DC fan who even knew about Halo or dolphins existence and then add in real world issues on top of that to make it relatable.

IMO they bit off more then they could chew. Despite what redditers will tell you, the time skips were a cheap way to avoid certain parts of the characters development and they hindered more then they helped. Not only did we not get to grow with our original team of hero’s, we had to accept that we wouldn’t get to see 7 years of their growth (not even in flashbacks). And it just kept happening in a lesser volume with each season. Add on top of that we had the 20 new people they’d introduce who’d get the same no development treatment. Season 4, of course, tried to course correct and made little arcs for the original characters to get developed. Almost 9 years within the story later and with one of the original dead for no reason.

I just keep wondering if they hadn’t done any of that, what it would be like. Even the big rolling up hill plot of 24 episodes that crests 14 minutes into the last 20 minute episode with the remaining 6 minutes being the down time. If we had it more like the original Justice league cartoon with part 1-2 episodes focusing on one major plot or issue with all or most team members showing up. Or if we had kept it like season 1 with the monster of the week style of episodes (see supernatural season 1 to know monster of the week better) would we have gotten better character development? Would it have paced out the big bad reveal at the end more efficiently? Would it have forced the writers to actually read up on the characters they were adapting past their surface level personality? We’ll never know.

I can’t even hate the young justice plot that much either because it’s not terrible, it just the way they play dolls with the characters that hurts because I want to love it. My fav has been animated and I can see them move past their still comic pages and hear them actually talk on screen, that alone should be enough but it’s not.

Not when I can’t rewatch any of it without the high chance of getting second hand embarrassment if I don’t pay attention to when I have to skip ahead. An issue that wouldn’t even be a thing if the writers had JUST ORGANIZED THEMSELVES A LITTLE BETTER AND READ THE DAMN CHARACTERS COMICS A LITTLE.

I can’t even talk about the outfits or art style or the battle animations or the relationships or the specific character based plot holes or the change of priority the reboot brought or idk maybe Wally’s death??

[violet-moonstone]

a slightly incoherent rant about fantasy adaptations, historical dramas, animation, and costume design:

fantasy shows (especially book adaptations) need to be animated more often, and/or made with better art direction

im tired of desaturated, lackluster visuals (especially when it comes to costumes) and this idea that dark fantasy should have dark colours...as if people aren't smart enough to know that a character in bright clothing is in a serious situation...you know...like real-life historical nobility

im tired of seeing wealthy characters rewear the same tired ass doublet every episode or have boring, unimaginative hairstyles (whichever fantasy show you're thinking about, yes that's what I'm talking about). and its much more practical to draw new clothing than to make it, especially in a tv series, which will likely require many more costumes than a movie.

animation also removes any issues with the actor not resembling the character or being the wrong age. any magic/effects will probably look much better too. you can make every single detail look exactly the way you want it

anyway

house of the dragon should have been freaking animated

also game of thrones -- although I think an animated version would be much better received by a western audience now than it would have been in 2011

can you imagine animated adaptations of asoiaf that are as faithful as possible to the books? paradise

sidenote: i also need there to be more consistency within fictional cultures when it comes to styles and silhouettes of clothing. i should be able to look at a character and point out distinct characteristics of their clothing that tell me where they're from, and they should be consistent with other characters of that culture and class.

i also strongly dislike the trope of raiding cultures, whether fictional or real, wearing scraps of grey-brown clothing peiced together -- looking at 99% of viking portrayals -- if they have no desire to wear/display the luxurious items they pillaged, then austerity should be a big part of their culture...and for that reason im willing to forgive how the ironborn look in GoT

i also hate outfits that just dont make sense...like not in an impractical, ostentatious way but in a..."how tf would someone put this on without modern fabric or zippers" way? or when someones outfit is completely nonsensical for the type of character they are. or when costumers just put little bits of shit in random places that dont make sense -- like they dont add functionality but they also dont make the character look any more interesting or believable. (looking at leather vests and bracers in every goddamn viking thing)

i think the vast majority of people dont care but man it bothers me

also i HATE when it looks like the characters aren't wearing LAYERS! like the queen is really wearing that gown against her BARE SKIN? ????

hhhhh

dont even get me started on modern makeup, hair, and overall anachronistic beauty standards (like weight! why are so many noblewomen so thin?) in historical adaptations

the way leftism leaves my body when i see a woman in a historical drama with her hair down (in a culture where that would be improper). PUT YOUR HAIR UP GODDAMMIT. WHERE ARE THE VEILS AND BONNETS AND HATS???

[archoneddzs15]

Sega Mega Drive - Tale Spin

Title: Tale Spin

Developer: Interactive Designs / Disney Software

Publisher: Sega of America

Release date: 14 December 1992

Catalogue No.: 1034

Genre: Platform Action

In the early ’90s, it started something huge with its cartoons that brought happiness to countless TV-watching children across the nation, and later happy nostalgic memories to those same children. They called it the Disney Afternoon, which brought together many of the greatest cartoon series ever created (in the sense of Children’s cartoons, obviously Family Guy and The Simpsons don’t compare). Shows like Ducktales, Darkwing Duck, Aladdin, The Gummi Bears, Chip & Dale’s Rescue Rangers, Gargoyles (aka the greatest cartoon they’ve done, EVER), Goof Troop, etc were shown on this for years, until Disney just seemed to stop caring and showed hog slop like 101 Dalmatians (Which is the reason Gargoyles was canceled) Disney’s Doug (EVIL) and Quack Pack. There was one show that was barely able to make it above the rest, but managed to do just that (except for Gargoyles, which simply owns your soul): Tale Spin.

You start off with a jungle-level, paddleball in hand. As you walk through the level, you’ll encounter (see; get jumped by) snakes, giant gorilla heads that shoot rocks, and crabs. As you try to figure out where to go in the water parts of the level, you’ll find your life bar slowly melting away. Soon, as you jump from behind a giant piece of rock, you find a small, red-shaped thing attached to your leg. After you jump repeatedly, you’ll realize this was one of the game’s greatest enemies that isn’t a kung-fu tiger, the crab! As you try to avoid them, it always seems like they’ll always be there, ready to strike and having you fly into the screen before you know it.

The basic controls are A for picking up normal boxes, which are used for stacking. B for attacking, and C for jumping. Stacking crates gets you to platforms that normally wouldn’t be reached. Your attack is either a paddleball or a slingshot, and your jump seems almost useless in plenty of situations, which is why box stacking is so important. You’ll be pissed off more than once by pressing the C button but not getting the desired jump you want. Hit detection seems to be a problem, where it seems like the game just doesn’t take you hitting a bad guy, but they’ll sure take in when you’re hit.

The graphics aren’t the best that they could be, considering this is Disney, and considering what graphics looked like back then in other games. While there are plenty of nice cartoony-looking graphics, they don’t seem to go where it counts, in the actual character sprites. Baloo and Kit walk like they have certain mental deficiencies. Even the actual background and foreground seem kind of grainy, making it hard to tell what’s going on once in a while.

Not a bad game, but it's just not what a game based on Tale Spin should play like. It's also a bit too hard for the game's target audience, the younger kids who actually watched DA in the early '90s. It's also just too cheap for its own good, making replay value very small.

This game was never released in Japan but there was an Asian release which is what I have here. The retail game is basically a carbon copy of the European version but with some differences, namely the "Asian version" emblem on the front. The instruction manual is the same as the PAL European manual too. The actual cartridge just looks like a Japanese Mega Drive cartridge.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

I don't watch a lot of US tv shows. Not because I think they are "bad", but more because they barely hold any appeal to me.

The last few I tried were like : let's start with a pointless sex scene, because dang, regular american boy loves that! Also, let's not pay anyone to do the light. Better if it's too dark to see anything at all 60% of the time, wow we're so gritty.

That said, I happened to stumble on Night Sky. And the reason I got interested was that for once, our two heroes were old people (and it's sci-fi, which I have always loved). And as the heroes, the tone of the first episode was very much slower, calmer and yet super interesting.

It had zero useless sex scenes the whole way, the plot unraveled at a pretty slow but good rhythm, the acting was good. Lovely.

and then.

and then, the number one reson why I've been mostly staying as far from US shows as humanly possible.

The reason why I absolutely despise 99% of all american TV shows.

They can't ever write a freaking ending, and you never know if a show is going to be "renewed" or not.

I've been watching so much shows from other countries where the show is clearly bought to last a set number of episodes, so there is always an ending. Good, bad, I don't even care, as long as it's there.

Now I'm left with no ending, more questions than answers, and the absolute certainty that this was my last ever foray into "made for the US" series.

What are your thoughts about that format? You obviously watch older movies, so I'm not sure if you are into shows at all. I'm curious.

Pfff, I watch sort of everything anon. And definitely tv series.

I wasn't sure how to answer your questions because there is a lot to unpack and honestly? In order to get an encompassing answer, I'd have to write a thesis. But I'll keep it short.

In terms of American shows not getting an ending and in turn, becoming a frustrating viewing experience, I'd say that it has more to do with current production practices and the industry at large, rather than the shows being American. The US has produced most of the greatest tv since its invention and we have experienced the golden age of television for the first couple of decades of the 21st century.

I'd say that the problem is represented by the streaming services and the run of the mill and cancelled shows are a product of that culture. Binge watching, too many projects getting a green light leading to a lot of trash as well, focusing too much on algorithm and quick social media response lead to abrupt cancellation. And sometimes they do it for tax purposes as well. It's the same in the film industry.

Getting out an entire season to streaming immediately hurts the people behind it. With cable tv, writers had a more long-term job, each season had more episodes, the episode was written specifically to fit in commercials as well. Direct to streaming changed that for the worst, hence the writers strike. There's a lot more to be said on this and you can watch this as well, it will help

Poor lighting has indeed been another criticism which I can understand. It's because they're shooting on digital and somehow it gives this illusion that it's more "realistic"? It's not, it's just lazy and it's a shame. Lighting in cinematography is an art and there's plenty of examples out there.

Lastly, the "useless sex scenes". I wonder what constitutes as useless for you though? The existence of a sex scene is not just for some "regular american boy". It's part of a lot of people's lives and being depicted in fiction is to be expected. There's nothing wrong with watching it, for everyone. Would it have a point only if it advances the plot? Could it not be another means of characterization? Of setting a mood? A commentary? Perhaps a glimpse into a life? There's plenty of reasons, even if it appears "pointless". It's unfortunate to see this trend nowadays, but at least it creates debates from people on all sides. I'd actually say that the lack of eroticism and the abundance of sexless characters in a lot of mainstream cinema/tv is creating a false, artificial image of a world that gets boring really fast and certainly a fictional Hollywood subpar to everything that came before.

[existentialflirt]

Head Canons Crowley

Just a small list to get them out there. Some devised with @v0litioncheck.

** Crowley does eat but very rarely. It falls under a fairly common theme in some of my head canons for him as "snake tendencies". He tends toward larger meals, after which he will take a lengthy nap. Usually around two days otherwise he's extremely cranky.

** In continuing with that theme, Crowley runs fairly cold. He greatly enjoys summer and may be found on top of high buildings in London basking in the sun (beaches are too crowded and people stare too much).

** Modern times (the 20th and 21th century) have been kind for Crowley, who really isn't too interested in doing his job. At least in the way Hell likes it done. He prefers a bit of chaos and bad vibes to murder and mayhem. Oh he'll inadvertently cause a death without too much of a twinge of guilt, but being directly involved just isn't his style. Anyway, humans do quite enough atrocities on their own, and all it takes is for a clever demon to keep abreast of the news and take the credit for inspiring the nastier bits.

** When Crowley was cast from heaven, his original name was stripped from him and he had to rename himself. Astonishingly, he was very bad at this. (Sorry, it never ceases to amaze me that in the same book/tv series we have a demon creative and with a powerful enough will to keep a burning car running to his destination yet calls himself Crawley and later changes it to Crowley which is barely more than an intonation change. That's just so funny to me. Definitely from Terry ahem.)

** A large portion of classical paintings and statues of Lucifer are actually modeled off Crowley, who did it all for a laugh after frequently being mistaken for him. Obviously he got in very big trouble down below when the big boss found out, but Lucifer let him off with a warning when Crowley explained how they sewed the seed of doubt and/or lust in the hearts of the devout (because you see, many paintings and statues of Lucifer, even ones in churches, are very sexy and very nude).

** While both demons and angels have the ability to shapeshift, there is some bureaucratic nonsense involved dependent on rank and severity of the change. When Aziraphale and Crowley posed as Brother Francis and Nanny Ashtoreth they were trying to fly under the radar of both Heaven and Hell and instead fashioned costumes (mostly Aziraphale's idea and design because he's dabbled in a bit of stagecraft). During that time, they co-habitate in a boathouse on the Dowlings' property aside from on days off, when they go to London to be themselves for awhile.

** After long consideration and a careful bit of picking through Christian study, secular, and woo (New Age) pages (not fun! I swear Google has gotten fucking worse when it comes to research), and having been given one last clue in a late episode in series two, I've settled on Crowley having been a Seraph before he fell. Most of this decision is to due to snake imagery used in how they're described and it's a pretty good reason why he's stupid powerful. Seraphs are the highest rank in the angelic hierarchy and depending on who you ask, Lucifer was a Seraph before he fell (other sources claim him as Cherub, so idek. Judeo-Christian mythology is a fucking mess). Also a very good theory about why Hell lets him fuck around and do whatever he pleases for the most part. He has been punished for doing too ostentatious acts of kindness, but apparently not so much that he is ever demoted out of temptations. Perhaps having been the snake to corrupt Eve is too big of a gold star in his file to truly justify a demotion. Or he's just such a massive, willful pain in the ass that no one likes to deal with him for much more than a decade or two.

** So...Crowley's human identity appears to be vaguely criminal and definitely dodgy hard bastard. Because all roads lead me to Hellblazer eventually, yes Crowley does know John Constantine and they DO NOT like each other. Generally the idea is that they're bullshit artists that can smell the shit on one another. However they do have an understanding not to fuck around in each other's business.

** Crowley is single handedly keeping several record shops open around London because sometimes he needs to listen to something other than Queen.

[talenlee]

Pride Month 2023

In the major English-speaking parts of the worlds I’m familiar with (which weirdly, is not Nigeria, despite it having four times as many English speakers as my home country and Canada combined), June is Pride Month. This is because a number of inter-linked corporate interests have been able to maximise sharing economic value by treating England, Australia, Canada and America as if we all operate on roughly comparable time scales and interests. For this reason, June is the month where America celebrates Pride, in the ways America does, and the rest of us are already buying your t-shirts, so your rainbows show up on all our soda cans anyway. Happy Pride! Buy something.

The obligatory response is of course, ‘well, why?’ and not just why do we do Pride in June, but rather, why do we need Pride at all? After all, isn’t homophobia solved and fixed and now we’re just kind of tidying up around the edges? Of course not, and if you’re reading this you know that’s not true, because I am not some general access explainer, I’m the blog of a weirdo who likes board games and anime and has somehow captured an audience just barely larger than a really suspect church congregation. But why not talk about it anyway, in the specific vein of Hey I’ve been thinking about this a lot.

Jim Parsons is gay.

You probably don’t remember that name, but here’s a jog to your memory:

Jim Parsons is the 50 year old actor who played Sheldon Cooper on The Big Bang Theory for twelve years, starting in 2007. During the run of this series, he was the highest-paid TV actor in the world, earning a rate of 26 million dollars an episode. And trust me I’m trying so hard to not make cheap pops about how much I do not care for The Big Bang Theory. This is just a simple, clearly visible, and extremely high profile actor in a well-known, well-regarded role in the middle-of-the-road, approachable TV slush that everyone knew. I watched a bunch of The Big Bang Theory, certainly enough to have negative opinions about it.

Jim Parsons was outed as being gay in 2012.

That is to say, before 2012, despite being an incredibly public person in a public position, Parsons was not comfortable being openly and presently gay. He was a rich white guy, who in 2012, came out, at the age of 39. And when The Big Bang Theory was brand new, in 2008, interviewers were wondering…

Hey, is Johnny Galecki gay?

In 2010, Galecki responded – very gracefully, in a way – to questions about if he was gay, which was probably tied to the fact that he was probably aware of Parsons being gay and had maybe had a conversation with at least one gay person before. In that, he argued that he didn’t feel a need to address the question, because it wasn’t anything that needed addressing. Being gay was unremarkable. That’s pretty cool, it was a different attitude you were likely to get at the time.

It was 2010.

You might be right now having a thought about how you maybe remember seeing gifs of this. You might be remembering seeing The Big Bang Theory start and realise that you cared about the way it ended, in 2018. 2018, which was five years ago, which means that chances are good, if you’re like me, you blink and go ‘oh jeeze, that was that recent‘ followed by ‘hang on, that was that long ago?’ because our brains are mush and they don’t work right and the things that are familiar come to the memory easily. It feels like The Big Bang Theory is a reasonably recent show, and not something that’s been gone for five years. It won awards that people thought should be going to 30 Rock and How I Met Your Mother and those three shows being contemporary should also send a bit of a shiver through you about what the culture was like only a few years ago.

I know it can be hard to handle time right now. There’s a sort of brain rot around 2020 that’s made the already relentless advancement of time get stranger and worse. It feels like we’re in 2020 part 3, but that doesn’t make 2010 nearer than it was now. It was 13 years ago, so if you’re say, 21 years old, you maybe remember when The Big Bang Theory started, and ended, and in your lifetime Jim Parsons wasn’t comfortable coming out. Part of why, though was because he was scared of ocming out to his mother. Jim Parsons isn’t a millenial. He was born in 1973, which means his parents are what, from the 1950s?

The average age of Parliamentarian in Australia is 51. The average age of a Senator in America is 63. The average age of the house of Lords is dust.

I did not expect to spend my forties, as a bi adult, arguing with twenty-five year olds who believed they’d somehow been born into a world where homophobia was over and only the dreadfully old people that didn’t matter was part of their lives. I did not realise that I was going to watch these youths reinvent traditional catholocism from first principles out of misguided pieces of DNI and trigger warning lists. I did not realise at some point in my life, I was going to hear someone tell me that I was bad for mentioning that I’d been called a faggot.

But the fantasy that homophobia and queerphobia and transphobia are things of the past and we just need to sort things out and we’re done is not just fanciful (because I mean, look at the immense threat trans people are under, especially trans youth, especially trans youth of colour) but it also seems to think that at some point since say, oh, 2012 and now, every person older than me winked out of existence and did not in fact spend their time calcifying and corroding and reinforcing and recruiting in the name of maintaining their connection to the things that made them feel okay, and the only thing that makes that kind of person feel okay is power and how to exert it.

We have Pride month because corporations want to sell us rainbows.

We need Pride month because we always, always, always need to be ready to start another riot.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

#Diary #Meta #Politics #Queerness

[taeyamayang]

Hey hey hey! Sorry for the late reply but I FINALLY WROTE SOMETHING!! literally when you @‘d me the Ray Bradbury quote I was like “welp that’ll do it” and finished the kuroo Drabble. It’s def not my fav but it’s a start! After I wrote that I wrote a Yams story that was originally gonna be a part of a different series that I scrapped. But I really like the idea so I made it a one-shot. I really like it and am proud of it!! I just hope by the time you read this someone else besides me has read it 😅. I don’t Necessarily want it to blow up or anything but starting out as a fanfic writer is hard. How did you do it?

About the books thing growing up I lived with my grandparents and wasn’t really connected to the internet like kids my age were until like 8 (which is still v young but I grew up kinda fast so 8 was like 13 to me I guess) so I just read a lot cause we didn’t have much to do (and talking to people was hard- so books it was) besides watch the same old movies on VHS and play with Polly pockets. A lot of my toys were my aunts who was like a decade older than me as well. All of that was some of the reasons I identified a lot with the gen before me and I remember talking with my (other) aunt whose like nine years older and her friend reminiscing about when they were kids and I was like “ahh I remember those” and she’s like gIRL HOW U WERE LIKE TWO😭 fanfic has ruined actual books for me. Not saying fanfic is way better, and I still like to read actual books, but why get invested in all these new characters when you can read about the ones you already know and love? And plus it’s more convenient then actually carrying a book around.

OOH REMEMBER WHEN I TOLD YOU HOW I ALWAYS GET HIT WITH BALLS AND YOU WERE LIKE HEY THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD FANFIC IDEA? well that’s not exactly how it happened but guess what! I’m writting it! I have 630 words down so far so I know it’s at least gonna hit the 1000 mark at the rate I’m going. I’m so excited for you to read it!! Also I may take you up on the editing or what’s it called Beta reading? Where people read it over and give the ok to post? I was gonna do that with the Yams one shot but I was too excited! I will absolutely keep u in mind tho, thank you!!!

And for the thing about the schools and the pillows…I CANT BELIEVE I WAS RIGHT WHAT THE FUCK??? that is so wild to me omg. Also American tv is fucking weird when it comes to sex. Like when I was in high school only a few people had sex and it wasn’t a big deal? I mean I was very introverted and wasn’t popular so I might not be the best resource but still. Maybe it’s a newer thing not to care as much about sex with a more body positive gen or wherever but I don’t really think peer pressure or anything was a big deal. Honestly? Peer pressure in general barely exists anymore. Adults were always like “say no to peer pressure” when it was just one guy offering weed or whatever and a person saying nah and that was IT. I think there was more pressure in feeling left out if anything. The media is so weird portraying teens but we gotta remember- these are old people writting and producing these shows. They also get paid to make it dramatic and not realistic.

I hope everything worked out with your ex boyfriend/boyfriend! And I totally don’t think you are ranting and if you are, shot just call me a therapist LMAO. dating is so fucking messy. Everyone expects it to be certain kind of way and they get anxious when it’s not. People gotta learn that relationship differ for everyone and it’s ok to break up and move on when you feel like things aren’t working out! There doesn’t have to be hard feelings or anything either idk why society has to make breaking up so messy- I know it can be and things don’t always end well but they can end normally and you don’t need to feel bad about doing what’s best for both of y’all. Staying in a relationship that doesn’t feel right Is just bad for both parties. Then again, I’ve never really been in a relationship and I’m still a virgin because I’m demisexual and that strong connection is vital and I’m too fucking busy with my own shit to get that. But I think what I said still stands. Bruh I’ve been reading so much fanfic and while reading I’m like “wow this shit would never happen to me and my shy ass” bUT I STILL WANT A MEET CUTE!!! but I have to remember that I’m reading about anime men who are too good to be real LMAO. I have high standards ig. Finding a partner is gonna be fun. Also I know what you mean when you said being Intimate is hard because girls are taught to always say no to sex for multiple reasons. A. Religion and purity for being a female and slut shaming and B. R*pe and sexual assault. Like I listen to too many true crime stories! I know the statistics! And people just hook up with others??? Wtf??? Idk this might just be my demisexual ass but no thank youuuu

BRO I WISH I HAD SMALL FEET! THEY DONT MAKE CUTE SHOES FOR BIG ASS FEET LIKE MINEEEE. When I was a freshman I learned about how having small feet was attractive in china and how they would bind the feet of women to have small cute feet but I never heard of small feet being lucky. I did hear about big feet meaning big- uh I assume you know where I’m going with that.

I don’t read my journal that much cuz ig makes me wanna cry but I do read it when I feel particularly down. I still have contact with Kylie (I think I called her that- since i used fake names for them both) but we don’t talk much. Sadly I don’t have Daias number which makes me so sad cuz I miss her dearly.

Ok so the murder in my town was kinda on brand for it??? OK LEMME EXPLAIN. I live in an upper middle class town with good schools and such so a lot of wealthy families move here. Some areas of this town are more fancy than others (the farther away from downtown you are- i happen to live pretty close to downtown but ANYWAYS) even some big celebrities mentioned wanting to move here. my town has a pretty uppity spoiled reputation because of that. Like most of the crimes around here are from spoiled brats that get bored and do drugs or rob people. The culprit of this case was spoiled by his mother in every degree as a child and refused to be independent and when his mom cut him off he killed both of his parents and his one sister and her husband (bc the sister kept telling him and Their mom that he needs to get a life.) the sister and her husband live in the town over so technically it didn’t just happen in the town i live in (but!!! My old residental school was IN THAT TOWN! not the same area since they lived in the nice mansion part but still.) I also got lunch with my old teacher (the one with the books) and told her about the case and she original thought I was talking aBOUT A DIFFERENT MURDER! THAT HAPPENED EVEN CLOSER TO ME IN MY TOWN. she’s like “oh is it the case where the lady drowned her kids in the bathtub?” LIKE IM SORRY- WHAT??? she like “oh yeah it happened a lil while ago tho. The college bought the house and now they use it for administration or something since no one wanted to move there.” THIS IS THE SAME COLLEGE RIGHT DOWNTOWN!!! I PROBABLY WALKED PAST IT BEFORE WHEN I GOT LOST GETTING CUPCAKES. ok quick side note- my high school was downtown and we had free lunch where we can go off campus for food and I decided I wanted a cupcake from this cupcake place not that far from the school. Since I didn’t wanna be late I pulled up my old friend google maps to take me back the quickest way- THAT WAS A BAD IDEA!!!!! I ended up wayyyyy out of downtown and into this weird residental housing street soooo far away. I ended up calling my mom like “moooommmm…. I think I’m lost.” And she was like ???? “Aren’t u at school???” THEN I HAD TO SEND MY ADRESS AND SHE PICKED ME UP. I WAS SITTING ON THE SIDEWALK ALL ALONE AND SAD. I WAS LIKE 16!!! my mom wasn’t even mad LMAO. She just sighed and told me to get in. It was a good cupcake tho. ANYWAY BACK TO MURDER- apparently one of her students parents got murdered too or something like a decade ago… LET ME JUST RESTATE THAT I LIVE IN THE MOST PICKET FENCE UPPITY TOWN EVER. I know what I’m saying makes it look all shady but the town i live in is one of the safest towns in the country- let alone my state. It just goes to show a lot of shady things happen when you aren’t looking for them. A quick google search goes a looooong way if you know what I mean- hopefully that doesn’t scare you if it did I’m so sorryyyy lol.

I’ve heard a lot about some famous cases from Japan, like the one about the little girl that killed her classmate (THAT SOUNDS SO BAD OUT OF CONTEXT WTF) or the Kyoto Anime massacre and the Junko Furuta case. The last two are very interesting to me in different ways. The first because I’ve never heard of anything like that happening before and the outcome is very unique? If that is the right word and just different from other arson cases when it comes to the motive and even the aftermath is different, like the perpetrator being the first person to receive a full body artificial skin graft. And because Kyoto Animations is a very big anime company which produced movies and shows that I- a person so far away- has watched before. And the Junko Furuta case was one of the few cases that ever made me cry and stuck with me for a while (that makes me seem so cold blooded I just don’t cry often because when I do EVERYTHING comes out) - but it was some of the most gruesome shit I have ever heard. I feel like the way I’m mentioning them is kinda disrespectful but I don’t want to go into detail about them because A. It’s really depressing for a tumblr ask and B. I wouldn’t do the stories justice. You also probably know about them anyway since you also like true crime and live closer geographically but if not I heard both of these cases from the YouTuber I mentioned a few times before Elenor Neale. Junkos case is kind of similar to one that happened here about a girl named Sylvia Likens, just in terms of sheer brutality.

OK THATS ENOUGH MURDER! but I wish I lived closer to Japan, since my mom told me she’d take me there after I graduated at some point- but she needs to get on a smaller plane first since she’s never been on one and the first one she’s going on will not be the 14 hour flight to Japan. So now I’m kinda just waiting and saving up lol.

I believe you did tell me about hearing voices in your house! Very spooky indeed. One time in a different house, a doll appeared on my bed out of nowhere (apparently it was my aunts who gave me to Polly pockets so that part wasn’t that weird) but the doll had a gold necklace with a smiley face pendant with a big round nose. Everyone says they never seen it before and honestly? I believe them. I have no idea where it came from and I held it close to me (bc spooky things are cool) until my little sister got jealous and broke it smh.

OOOH IM SO EXCITED ABOUT YOUR STICKER BUSINESS!!! IT SOUNDS SO COOL! I don’t play Genshin myself but my best friend does so I know some things about it. Her fav character is childe so I know zhongli and how he’s a god of some sort that childe buys everything for. I know there is a best friend duo and one of them hunts ghosts (bc my bestie said they remind her of us) and i know that childe calls everyone comrade and he’s a fatui harbringer with a little brother who thinks he is a toy maker. Oh and pimon (I think is her name) is annoying and Klee is cute and makes bombs. Oh there’s also Ito who’s like an Oni that’s a himbo and Thoma (I like him a lot. He’s cute) with the lil doggo! Your Zhongli sticker is so cute!!!

I’m also glad you take time to chat with me!! It makes me so happy whenever I get these messages. I hope you like my writting! By the time you get this my bokuto fic should be out!!!

And here! Take some cat pics as a treat!

i'm back with a communicable brain. dude, would you believe that i am building a sleigh.. a freaking life sized santa sleigh for christmas?? it's for community competition and i was tasked to build a sleigh and 9 reindeers. ugh, it's fun but very tiring i might be able to show you the sleigh the next time i write to you.

i read feline antics and kuroo in your fic is canon!! omg lol and when you mentioned about yams fic i was like "wait...why is the fic not on my dash (considering that i have few mutuals/following)." then it turns out I DIDN'T FOLLOW YOU?? WHAT THE HECK i swear i thought i did last time i read feline antics but my pea brain forgot or thought i did (i'm very forgetful if you hadn't catch on yet. might as well name myself dori ffs) anyway, so i followed you and saw your yams fic and holy shit??? 6k?? DUDE 6K?? woah, i am so so proud of you because i remember you mentioned to me before that you couldn't write anything/one shots because you always tend to drop them off or left them unfinishes bUT 6K?? DAAAMN. i really like the way you portrayed yamaguchi's anxiety because it's raw, heartfelt in a way that i could feel his worries through your writing. i'm sorry if this entire paragraph is a commentary about your recent works gsmsbsns lol and about beta reading... ARE YOU SURE?? ME?? WHAT AM I?? kidding but i'm always down maybe we can talk over it on discord if you have one (i rarely open my dms here bc opening dms means opening notifications and if im not in the right mood to check notifs i tend to forget to reply to comments, ask games, etc. aghh you know that gsnsbs)

how i started out as a fic writer is not actually a plan lmao after watching haikyuu i reopened my dying tumblr blog bc i know that great artists thrive here so i wanted to check out artworks of haikyuu. then, i saw that a number of blogs writes for haikyuu and i was like "wow fics are still a thing here on tumblr, huh." then i tried writing my own and took my tendency to daydream about my fixations to my advantage. i love thinking about how these set of characters react to a situation (this prolly the reason why i took up psychology as a major lol i love observing people and their personality and behavior) then out of whim i posted. not really thinking of numbers or feedbacks, i posted bc i know that only a few people will get to see it so there are less judgments on me since i'm a beginner writer on this platform. then, as i kept posting more and more people came to my blog. and although now, i still am not a huge blog, it's always good to keep a mindset that you're writing for yourself (tho numbers are rewarding, we get that) and that the people who read your works doesn't know you. you can't be judged based on your writing bc that's just one side of who you are and it also comforts me to think that there people who genuinely enjoy my work. i'll be lying if i say that there are no times where my priorities lean towards writing for my audience. i did at one point but ended on a writer's block lol. if you keep it that way you'll end up burntout (this happened to me too before heh). so, in short, i started writing just because i can and i didn't really thought about the negative things people will think of me, i just did bc i enjoyed it. also, i think consistency plays a huge role in thisㅡnot only to keep people engaged but also to keep writing as a habit. if you make it a habit, your writing gets better and better. that's just based on my experience lol. alsooo tho one year of writing here is still a short-time, i have never encountered anyone calling me a shitty writer and to stop writing because my words are useless and childish LOL what i'm trying to say is worries about people judging you and your work doesn't happen often and if that ever happens, they're the problem, never yours. so yeah i keep that in mind too. AND if that ever happens to you, i'll be on the frontline defending you. leave the roasting to me lol.

about the tv shows and sex (i feel like i have to at least give a topic beforeni start a paragraph bc i reply SO LATE that i feel like you might have forgotten what we were talking about) i agree! it's more of the pressure of being left out. one is pressured to hangout after school because of the fear of not being included in a group. tho i was peer pressure to kiss someone in class for fun but i was like "uhm, nope!" so i made a petty (i think wise *wink*) excuse of going to the comfort room first before doing it but what i did was i went straight home without telling anyone. i am not doing that for their entertainment lol 💀and that's cool kids for you 💀

OH! ex boyfriend... uh.. it's a girlfriend 🤣 everything worked well so thanks! we broke up lmaooooo welp it's for the best. im onto finding a better match i guess lol bruuhh i get the strong connection but besides that i also want someone to balance me out. i'm literally just a speck of dust sometimes, you know floating and minding my own business aka my fixations and hobbies in life. kudos to you tho! you give spot on advice. i mean having zero experience is okay when you give out relationship advices bc to me i think that's a fresh perspective.

yeah, small feet are lucky. small faces are pretty. button noses are pretty. small curvy lips are pretty. everything has to be small to be lucky or pretty but eyes... IT HAS TO HUGE AND DOE-LIKE i swear to fucking god the beauty standard here is ridiculous tho people my age dont usuallu give a fuck about it lol but the older generations OH THEY DO but that doesnt matter we were taught to respect elders and their opinions (as part of our culture) but that doesn't mean we will up to their unrealistic expectations. oh just to mention to you! when i was a kid i was pretty active. i play outside a lot and i love ride my bicycle and do races with my friends. one time my aunt (my father's sister) warned me of not "playing too much" bc my calves will develop man like muscles and it's not a good for a girl to have calf muscles because if i wear a dress and heeled shoes it will show. i was i think 8 or 9 and i was like... sOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT so i went to my mom and told her about it and she was like "what?! she told you that?! that's an exaggeration! just keep cycling or running, don't mind her." (my mom doesnt really care about physical looks whereas my aunts-dad side CARE A LOT) they don't even like women wearing clothes that are too revealing so what i did was i wore a tube on a relative's birthday party. they cant call me out bc they know my dad doesnt care (he even buys me cropped tops) and my mom too. anyway, so yes small ankles and calves are a thing too. IT'S RIDICULOUS I SWEAR.

oh god the murders in your town?? THAT SOUNDS LIKE FROM AMERICAN HORROR STORY OR SMTH. is it not weird that the college bought where the murder took place? like if i were to study there i'll be thinking about it a lot... actually... that sounds a bit like my uni... not exactly my uni but the place where my uni sits. so my country was under a colony before (war times and all that) and the city where my uni is the main city where the locals and foreigners interacted during 1800s and since the woke locals are against the colonization, a lot of them were shot, killed, and thrown to the nearby river. and if you take a few strides from my uni there's like an underground tunnel recently discovered that turned into a tourist spot. it's downright creepy because the way down to the tunnel and the tunnel itself is sketchy tight, the way/tunnel leads to a huge boxed underground like a deadend. my friends and i went afterclass and when we reached the dead end we looked up and see like a railing(?) idk how to describe it but other tourists were shock that people are piling underground and they can see us. apparently, that hole used to be a prison for locals who fought for our freedom (and other criminals too) they were kept and stuck undergound, left them there to die (die of starvation and stuff). it was creepy bc i was literally standing where almost hundreds of people died and i didn't know. we only knew of it when we reached the dead end. as it turns out, there are many other tunnels with the same structure near the place. sooo yeah.

omg speaking of the two japanese murders you mentioned i dont know about them so ill check it out!! and about your cupcake incident OMG THATS SO CUTE WTH IM SORRY FOR LAUGHIN but i just think its adorable that you ended up lost for a good cupcake. cant blame you tho i loveee a good cupcake. where you able to get back in class without an earful?

ahhhh i live near japan but i can't fly there yet bc of school (but since i graduated who knows heh). you know how crazy asian schools are? yes, they're crazy. so my family and i barely have time to travel outside of the country without taking a week off from school. we traveled once before to two countries it was hongkong and vietnam but i had to file a one week leave (it was tedious with all the papers i have to submit and all that ugh) and thank god that one week is just school festival week so i didnt miss anything besides the fun. that was in elementary but came middle school and high school.. heckkk after class study sessions is real like the one in anime especially if you're a senior. i remember my mom's friend being a math teacher so every summer i go to their place to train my skills in math and i'm begging my mom not to drop me off to their place 💀 imagine spending summer solving math problems HA! still, i'm never the best in math lol

thanks for the wishes i hope to launch my sticker shop soon apparently i hae forgotten my skills on photoshop HA HA HA and i'm trying to recall my lessons on it BUT FUCKKK anyway you a lot for someone who doesnt play genshin if you ever plan on playing it soon let me know!! i would love to know (its funny how you mentioned almost all daddies of genshin bc saaaame ughh childe supreme sugardaddy and a meme)

here are some haikyuu stickers i made recently it isnt final yet butttt here have a look!

WHY ARE YOUR CATS SO PHOTOGENIC?? THEYRE ALL SO BEAUTIFUL AND SOOO CALMING TO LOOK AT!! THATS UNFAIR bc momo knows when a cam is pointed at her and she just runs away. and the huge pikachu too!! I WANT THAT AAAHHH

here have momo sitting on the sleigh im working on hehe

sorry for the long wait but i lovee writing to you whenever i receive a message from you i get all excited! you're a good communicator and thanks for waiting for my replies since i take eons to do so. i hope you keep writing!! i'll always be here to support a friend and a fellow writer. cheers!

[cjsinkythoughts]

Inner Conflict

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 3586

Warnings: !FATWS SPOILERS!, Cursing, Some Angst, Some Fluff, Sam and Bucky being idiots, Mentions of PTSD, Anxiety, and Depression

A/N: Here’s Part Three to my FATWS Series, which I’m making a masterlist for that you can find Here. 

Uh…it’s a little long, and I apologize for that. It doesn’t even encompass the whole second episode, only the first half, so a Part 3.5 will be coming out later today probably (it’s my day off work so I have all day to relax and write!) I tried not doing a line for line rewrite of the episode, but there are quotes from the show in here. Mostly it’s Reader’s thoughts and feelings towards what’s happening while conversations are going on around. Reader’s backstory is a bit more unfurled. It’s more action packed and more scene-for-scene of the episode than the previous two. Less emotions shared and less hurt/comfort type of thing, but that’ll be back in the next part probably along with more scenes not in the show. The next part I’m planning won’t be as long, it’ll mainly just be the Couples Therapy scene and a bit more angst with her and Sam and her and Bucky.

Because there’s four more episodes and I don’t know what’s going to happen in them, I’m kinda hesitant on spilling out exactly what is going on with the Reader and what her role was on the original team, but we’ll get there. Also, I wasn’t expecting to be writing multiple pieces for one episode, but if the other episodes are as packed as this one, prepare yourself for more parts than anticipated. We’re already on Part 3 and I’ve got Part 3.5 coming. Just bare with me as I don’t know what’s going to happen in future episodes! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy it! 

(Not beta’d so excuse any mistakes.)

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT!

Walking out of the shower, ruffling a towel through your hair to dry it off, you froze at the sound of the TV. A sigh left your lips. It’s all he’d been doing the last few days - watching the news. Keeping up with the tour for the new Captain America.

You peeked out of the small bedroom to find Bucky sitting on the floor, brow creased as he watched John Walker talk to the Good Morning America hostess.

“You shouldn’t be watching that.” You spoke up, leaning on the doorway, still patting your hair dry. He glanced over to you, taking in the towel wrapped around you, before looking back at the TV. Seeing you like that wasn’t anything new. “Buck, I’m serious. Brooding over it won’t make anything better.”

“What do you want me to do?”

You let out a sigh, shifting your feet and biting your lip as you thought about how to respond. “I-I haven’t figured it out yet. But obsessing over the new guy-”

“Aren’t you mad?”

You frowned at his question, his eyes meeting yours once more. “I told you already that I am.”

He tilted his head, which he did when he was confused, his eyes narrowing. “Why don’t you show it? Why aren’t you screaming or cursing or crying or something? You, of all people-”

“Because it won’t help anything, Buck.” You shook your head, pushing off the wall. “I want to. But if I let myself go down that road…” Dropping your gaze to the floor, you take a breath, collecting your thoughts. “This is such a complicated situation, James. I’m being contacted left and right for a statement on the new Captain. People trying to see my reaction. Senators trying to get me to meet with him. I can’t let myself snap. I can’t.”

He scowled. “They’re still bothering you?”

A dry chuckle escaped your lips and you nodded. “Makes me miss the days when no one knew who I was; when I was the behind-the-scenes seventh Avenger. But I made that choice to come out, and I have to deal with the consequences now. Blowing up will only-”

“Even though I never met him…he feels like a brother.”

That one statement stopped you in your tracks. Bucky’s head whipped back to the TV, his jaw ticking, his nose scrunching up.

“Did he really just say that?”

Bucky merely nodded, his chest heaving as he tried getting his breathing under control. “Feel like snapping now?”

You purse your lips as you held in the tears stinging your eyes. After composing yourself, you moved over and grabbed the remote, letting out a tiny sniffle as you did so. You tentatively touched Bucky’s shoulder, silently asking him if he needed anything from you. His response was to open his arms, so you quickly got down besides him to hold him.

“He is my brother, doll.”

“I know, Buck.” You pressed a soft kiss to his head, which rested against your bare shoulder.

Your bare knees are pressed harshly against the wooden panels of the floor, and you’re twisted awkwardly, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. As long as he was comfortable, you would take the uncomfortable position. As long as he was being held, you would take the soreness it would leave. As long as you could help him be some sort of okay, you would take not being okay in this position.

 You two sat like that for a few more moments before your phone buzzed. You gave a sigh, pulling back and holding his cheeks in either hand. He wasn’t crying, although he was on the verge of doing so. You’d seen him cry before, so you knew he didn’t mind. For you it was a different story.

Bucky had maybe seen you cry twice since the whole Blip thing went down. And one of them was over the phone, so he didn’t see it so much as he heard it. You didn’t let yourself cry in front of him. Or anyone, for that matter. It was a part of you. The only person you ever felt comfortable enough around to cry in front of…wasn’t there. And you couldn’t change that.

“We’ll figure it out.” You told him, nodding gently and letting a small, sad smile quirk the corners of your lips up. “Okay? We’ll figure it out.”

The clench in his jaw loosened as your fingers worked circles into the hinge, making him relax and nod back. You pressed a tender kiss to his forehead before standing up, moving across the room to where your phone was on the counter. You assumed it’d be another government official or news reporter, so you were slightly shocked to see ‘Sammy’ flashing up at you.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you read his message, a slight pout forming on your face. 

“Doll?” Toned arms wrapped around you, warm and cool, his chin setting on your shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s Sam. He needs my help with something.”

“I’m coming with you.”

You turned in his arms, eyes narrowing in suspicion. “Why?”

He shrugged, licking his lips. “You might need help.”

“Bucky, you can’t go if you’re just going to yell at him.”

“I won’t.”

You studied his features. He was lying, you knew that. Of course he was going to snap at Sam for giving up the shield. He was mad and they got on each others’ nerves every chance they could find, so of course he was going to.

But you still found yourself saying yes and telling him to go pack a bag. You were never able to say no to Steve and it seemed that got passed on. What a nuisance it was.

****************

And you were so right. It was the first thing he said once Sam came into view coming down the stairs.

“You shouldn’t have given up the shield, Sam.”

“James.” You squeezed the hand he was holding, voice pleading for him not to do this right now. He huffed, stepping back to let you greet Sam properly, giving the man a hug. “Hi, Sammy.”

“It’s been a while.” Sam commented, pulling back and holding you by the shoulders. “You look good. Not that you’ve ever looked otherwise.”

You gave him a small smile. “You do too.”

“Thanks for coming. I know it’s short notice, but-”

“It’s fine, Sam. Really.” You insist.

Sam nodded, before eyeing Bucky. “Did you have to bring him?”

“Samuel-”

“This is wrong.” Bucky cut in, staring Sam down, falling into step besides him as the man started heading outside.

“James-”

“Hey, hey. Look. I’m working, all right?”

You rolled your eyes as the two started arguing, stopping your stride to take a breather. You used to joke about babysitting them, but it didn’t feel like a joke anymore and you were getting tired of it. All the bickering for no reason. The contempt they held for one another. Steve made you promise that you would look out for them, and you were trying, but they weren’t making it easy.

When you joined them again, you raised an eyebrow at the direction the conversation turned. How the hell did they get from arguing about the shield to what a wizard is?

“Ahh! Haha! A sorcerer is a wizard without a hat!”

You gave Sam a look as he babbled about how he was right. “Sorcerer Mickey has a hat. Isn’t that, like, how he gets his powers and everything?”

Bucky grinned at you. “Thank you!”

“Excuse you!” Sam scoffed, pointing an accusing finger at you. “We were having a conversation!”

“Yeah. A stupid conversation I just ended. Now I’m gonna be in the plane. Feel free to join me when you’re done being idiots.”

They both spluttered, but you were already walking away, leaving no room for arguments. As you loaded onto the plane, you spotted the Lieutenant whom Sam mentioned who had been helping him out with missions. Torres, you thought, remembering his name from a previous phone call with your friend.

“You Lieutenant Torres?” You asked, walking up to him.

He blinked, before his eyes widened, a grin appearing on his face. He seemed young, which you were perfectly okay with considering you’ve been working alongside old men for the past decade. It was always nice to work with a fresh face, which you found after you started working with Wanda and Peter.

The thought of the two youngest members made you falter, not having heard from either of them since Christmas almost six months prior, but you quickly recovered yourself, shaking away the worries you had for them.

“You’re Y/N Y/L/N! I’m a huge fan! I’ve read all your files!”

Chuckling a little, you held out your hand. “Most of those are heavily classified.”

He ducked his head with a little blush, rubbing the back of his neck after shaking your hand. “I, uh, I might’ve…used connections.”

“It’s okay.” You reassured him, throwing him a wink. “I won’t tell. Can you tell me what’s going on? Sam didn’t exactly explain the situation.”

He nodded, getting into ‘work mode’, something you’ve seen in most military men, informing you of their recent missions and the group known as the Flag-Smashers and giving you a file on them. He was in the middle of telling you about his solo mission in Germany when your two fellas came in, sending each other small glares, but remaining quiet.

Bucky caught your eye and sent an apologetic look your way, to which you just smiled at before turning back to Torres.

“Well I’m glad you’re okay.” You told him once he was done.

“Oh yeah. It wasn’t that bad.”

You laughed and nodded. “I’m sure. You seem like a tough kid.”

He smiled, before looking around and jabbing his thumb behind his shoulder. “I-I’ve gotta go, but-”

“We can talk later.” You promised with a grin.

“Really?!”

“Of course! I have a feeling we’ll be working together more, and I like getting to know who’s gonna have my back.”

He beamed and nodded, walking backwards. “That’d be awesome! Talk to you later then!”

You giggled as he turned around and jogged off, pumping his fist in the air. You turned to a grinning Sam and nodded towards where Torres left. “I like him. Seems like a nice kid.”

“He is. Very energetic. A little reckless, but he’s got a good heart.”

You hummed, the smile falling from your face as you flipped through the file Torres gave you. “So…Munich?”

“Yeah. Listen, I’m sorry again for taking you away from the search, but-”

“Search is off.” You informed him quickly, not looking up. “Until further notice.”

The plane went quiet, before Sam cleared his throat. “So…no sign of Wanda yet, then?”

You shut the file, looking up at the men whose features were laced with concern. “I’m gonna go talk to the pilot. Behave while I’m gone. No pushing each other off the plane.”

“Doll?”

You were stopped by the hand that grabbed your wrist as you passed Bucky. You shot him another smile, knowing it wasn’t convincing enough for him, but it being the best one you had. “I’m okay. I’ve just gotta ask him some questions.”

************

Opening your mouth to stop him, you groaned when Bucky jumped out of the plane before you could speak. First Sam jumps without sharing the plan, then Bucky jumps without having a plan. Or a parachute. Or wings. Or anything.

Torres looked at you, but all you could do was shrug. “I dunno what to tell you, kid.”

“You’re not gonna do that, are you?”

“No.” You reassured him, shaking your head. “I’m gonna wait ‘til we land like a normal person and take my bike. I just have to pray that they’ll wait to do anything stupid until I get there.”

They didn’t wait. You’re pretty sure they didn’t even think about waiting. By the time you got to them, they were fighting - and losing, might you add - to six really strong people on top of two semi trucks.

Because why wouldn’t they?

Oh, oh. And on top of that, the fake was there, throwing the shield. The shield that didn’t belong to him. The shield that meant so much more than he would ever know.

“Hi, doll! Sorry we started the party without you!” Bucky shouted from where he was hanging off the edge, that close to the street and getting his head torn off by the tire.

“I’m so tired of babysitting you two, you know that?!”

“Oh! Sorry we’re such an inconvenience for you! Blame him! He jumped the gun!” Sam shouted, coming to fly next to you as you rolled up your sleeves, standing on your bike, using one hand to steer.

“Can I get a little help already?!”

“Sam-!”

“On it!”

Knowing that no matter how much they pissed each other off, Sam would make sure Bucky was okay and vice versa, you focused on getting to the top, where Walker and a buddy of his were struggling a little bit.

You climbed up to the roof of the semi no one was on, wincing when you heard your bike skidding across the pavement. There goes half your salary.

You couldn’t dwell on it for very long, considering one of the guys appeared in front of you. You recognized the fighting - the strength - and faltered, a memory resurfacing at a very bad time.

~

“C’mon, honey. You can do better than that.” Steve grinned at you, holding out a hand to help you up.

“Excuse me for not having super strength, Rogers.” You huffed out, taking it and letting him pull you up.

“You don’t need to be stronger than me. You just need to be smarter.”

“That’ll be easy.” You teased, stretching your arms before getting into your stance again. “You’re a dumbass sometimes.”

“Yeah, well, who chose to be friends with this dumbass?”

“Everyone needs a dumbass for a friend.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “So I’m your dumbass?”

“If you want.”

The grin he shot you made your heart skip a beat. “If you’ll have me.”

~

You blinked, but Steve wasn’t in front of you anymore and you weren’t in the gym in DC. 

The guy caught the punch you distractedly threw and twisted your arm, making you cry out, kicking him in the back of the knee and flipping him over your shoulder.

You went to kick him again, but he caught your leg and threw you against the side of the other semi. You were able to grab onto where Bucky had ripped through the side, but you winced as the metal cut through your palm. Sam had just flown under the trucks, taking Buck with him, and you knew when a fight wasn’t worth it, so you quickly moved around the truck, letting Walker and his pal distract the Flag-Smashers, before letting yourself fall onto the side where the grass was.

You wanted to lay there, to catch your breath and curse yourself for getting distracted. You hadn’t had a flashback like that in a while. But you didn’t let yourself. You had to make sure the guys were okay.

Standing up made you cringe; you could feel the throbbing in your shoulder from where it was no doubt dislocated and your leg was aching, the muscle probably pulled when the guy threw you.

“Doll!” You turned, seeing Bucky and Sam sprinting towards you a few yards down the road. “Hey, hey.” Bucky immediately had his hands hovering over you, scanning your body. “Are you okay?”

You nodded, shoving his hands away. “I’m fine.”

“What’s wrong with your shoulder?”

“I think I dislocated it.”

Sam frowned. “What the hell happened?”

You gave him a weird look, starting to limp across the field to where you noticed a side road earlier. “They were super soldiers, Sam. And we got our asses kicked.”

“Yeah, but you know how to fight a super soldier-”

“It’s been a while.”

“Bullshit.” Sam side stepped in front of you, making you stop. “What happened?”

“I-I just got distracted, okay?”

“Y/N. Look at me.” Bucky took your face between his palms, eyes worried. “Are you okay?”

You nodded. A tired sigh left your lips and you looked anywhere but his eyes. “Yeah. I’m fine. Just hurting. My leg, I think I pulled it or something-”

“C’mere.” Bucky turned and crouched down, making you blink.

“What?”

“You shouldn’t be walking. We don’t wanna make it worse.”

“But it’s just a strain, it won’t-”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Just get on the man’s back, Y/N.”

You bit your lip before sighing and carefully climbing on his back. He shifted you gently, making sure to hold your leg with caution, leaning his head into yours when you hooked your chin on his shoulder. “You-you don’t have to talk about what happened. Just-just know that when you do…I’ll be here, okay?”

You nodded, moving to press your nose against the column of his throat. “Okay.”

But you could never tell them. How could you? How could you tell the world’s longest POW that you were having nightmares? How could you complain to an Air Force vet who served two tours in Afghanistan and watched his best friend get blown out of the air that you were having flashbacks?

You weren’t sure if it was PTSD or anxiety or depression. Maybe all three. It didn’t matter, though, because you didn’t want to admit it. You wouldn’t admit it. No one thought the Blip messed you up that badly. No one thought Steve leaving did that much damage. And you were okay with that. You were okay with them thinking you were healing - that you were fine - because they needed to see that it could be done. That they could be fine, too. Especially the men walking, Sam teasing Bucky per usual.

It wasn’t until a horn honked that you allowed yourself to be pulled out of your thoughts. A scoff left you when you realized who it was, switching the side you were laying on so your cheek pressed up against the cool metal of his left shoulder, facing away from the jeep.

You tried ignoring the guy as he talked about working together and shit, taking a shuddering breath, making Bucky squeeze your uninjured thigh. There was no way you were working with him. You couldn’t. It’d be like betraying Steve and you didn’t need that on top of all the other things you were dealing with.

You couldn’t deny the need for a ride though. The airport was 20 miles away and you were hurting pretty bad. You suspected that was the reason the guys relented, Bucky tenderly setting you down in the jeep between him and Sam, careful of your injuries.

You stared at your lap as Walker and Sam talked shop. You understood where they were coming from, you were always able to see both sides of the coin, but it didn’t mean you were going to willingly work with him.

“I got mad respect for all of y’all, but you were kind of getting your asses kicked till we showed up.”

You scoffed at that, finally raising your eyes to meet Walker’s friend’s. “Like you were doing any better?”

Bucky reached over to grab her hand that was resting on her lap. “You know, I’ve been trying to get in contact with you.” Walker faced you, eyes raking down your form. Bucky shifted in his spot, but you ran your thumb over his knuckles before he could do or say anything stupid.

“Yeah. I know. My phone hasn’t stopped blowing up for a week. Thanks for that, by the way.”

Walker frowned. “If you just answered-”

“I don’t care who you are. I don’t care what you’ve done. I’ve been a little busy doing my job to blow smoke up your ass on national television. Sorry if my saving people’s lives has been an inconvenience for you, but some wannabe playing dress up isn’t my top priority.”

Walker’s brows furrowed and he was about to say something, when Bucky cut in, asking his friend who he was. You were already that close to jumping out of the jeep, when the guy, Hoskins, told you three that he went by ‘Battlestar’.

If the situation wasn’t so aggravating, you would’ve laughed when Bucky immediately told the driver to stop, opening the door before the car even stopped. “C’mere, doll.” He murmured, lifting you up into his arms bridal style, before walking off, tuning out Walker as he shouted after you two.

You pouted a little when you saw Sam still talking to the guy. “What’re they talking about, Buck?”

“Some nonsense about him not replacing Steve. Just trying to be the best Captain America he can.”

You laid your head against Bucky’s chest. “The best Captain America is Steve. He can never be Steve.”

“I know, doll.”

“Steve told me once that all he was trying to do was be a good man…it’ll always amaze me that he didn’t see he was the best.”

You missed the distraught look Bucky shot towards you, the look in his eyes almost heartbroken while you talked fondly about his best friend. The tortured scrunch to his features seemed to melt away at your next words, though, and he held you tighter as you curled into his hold.

“Just like it amazes me that you don’t know how important you are to me too, Buckaroo.”

[harrywritingsbyme]

Puffy Little Peach

Based Off Of This Ask

And This One

A/N: I’m OBSESSED with this concept…like to say it’s hot would be a complete understatement!! There’s also no real plot to this one...just some hot shit with Harry and Y/n😋😌So I hope it doesn’t suck ass and you guys actually like it…enjoy🙃

5.2k wordss

“Oh my goodness.” Harry gawks, now completely stopped in his tracks, focusing in on the sight in front of him. His eyes were practically bulging out of his head, his mouth was on the verge of spilling over from how hard he was beginning to salivate, and his cock was rapidly swelling in his pants. Why was Harry like this?  Well, there were many layers and reasons as to why Harry was going into sensory overload right now. But the short and sweet answer to that question, the common ground for all of said reasons, would be you. 

But here’s the not so short and sweet answer...

For starters, you were just minding your own business and relaxing in bed. You’d taken care of everything that required your attention for the day and you were just taking some time to relax, and do absolutely nothing. You were all nice and comfy in the soft and plushy sweatshirt and sweatpants set you’d gotten a couple weeks ago and had fallen head over heels in love with, and you were cuddled up with one of Harry’s pillows. Since he was taking care of something’s himself, the pillow was the best thing you were going to get for the time being. Now while you were just lying in bed and embracing all comfy and cozy of it all, you were mindlessly scrolling and clicking through your phone, you watched a little tv at some point, and you even got a little nap in. You were very much so relaxed and not doing a single thing the way you intended. That is, until Harry finished up with everything he had to take care of before coming upstairs to find you. 

And once he did...your stint of doing absolutely nothing came to an end. Well, sort of. 

When he first stepped foot into the room, you didn’t even realize that he’d come in. Not only was your back turned away from bed door, but you also had the volume on your phone turned up a bit so you couldn’t exactly hear him either. But when you felt the end of the bed dip, you immediately turned your attention in that direction to spot Harry’s newfound presence in the room. You don’t hesitate to drop your phone and take your earbuds out, and Harry doesn’t hesitate to bypass crawling up the bed and lying next to you, and go straight to crawling up the bed and on top of you. Like he wastes absolutely no time at all. 

And at first it was all cute and sweet. Harry was on top of you, sponging little kisses on your lips and all over your face and neck while he lightly tickled at your sides. You couldn’t stop laughing and squirming below him, trying to wriggle out of his grip as he continued to kiss and tickle you. Harry loved giving you all the attention in the world and just making you laugh, so he didn’t intend on stopping for a good little while. Whenever he let up on the tickles and stuck to just kissing you, you thought that you were in the clear. But he’d pick right back up and start tickling you again, leaving you to fall right back into a fit of laughter beneath him. Eventually, after a series of “my stomach hurts” and little tears streaming down your face from laughing so hard, Harry finally let up.

The two of you then proceeded to talk about your days and all, ever once in a while stopping, mid sentence by the way, to kiss each other. These stops were often initiated by Harry and would last a couple minuets if he was able to successfully wrap you up in and just melt you into the kiss. And about 99.999% of the time, he was in fact successful. You just couldn’t help but melt into them. They were so soft, yet firm if that made any type of sense. Like while he gingerly moved his lips against yours, he still managed to reaffirm his control over the kiss. Not to mention the way he held you the entire time. Whether you two were talking or kissing, he always had his free hand cupped around the side of your waist underneath your sweatshirt. He’d either just hold you there, or he’d squeeze you a little, or smooth his hand across your soft stomach, occasionally dipping his fingertips just below the waistband of your sweats.

Now given the fact that Harry was in fact himself, the cute and fluffy little atmosphere surrounding you two was quickly (but not too quickly) scrapped and turned into a full on hot and heavy one. You were no longer pushing back the curls that fell in his face when he lifted his head back up from your neck or from kissing you. Instead, you were pushing your fingers up into the curls that were at the nape of his neck as he pushed his lower half against yours. You welcomed the feeling of Harry’s tongue gliding against yours and exploring your mouth. You two were swallowing each others moans as you kissed, barely parting from each others lips to catch your breaths.

“Y’just so pretty.” He’d softly moan against your lips every once in a while before continuing to kiss you. And as he did this, his hand that was once sitting at your waist, began to wander up your shirt. As he does this, he discovers that you’re not wearing a bra, meaning that your supple breasts were bare and able to be played with immediately.

And for Harry, immediately, meant immediately. Harry was quick to cup the soft flesh in his hand, causing you to let out a string of moans into his mouth. Feeling his large hands around you all of a sudden caused a shiver to run up your spine and goosebumps to spread across your body. Along with kneading at your ample breasts, Harry also brought his forefinger and thumb to your now pebbled nipples to pinch and roll them around a little. That sensation alone sent even more chills and goosebumps across your body, and it caused your panties to dampen even more. After giving all of his attention to only half of your chest, Harry adjusts himself on top of you in a way that would allow him to play with both of them at the same time. Unfortunately though, he wouldn’t be able to lick into your mouth the way he was before. Which prompted you to let out a little whimper at the loss of his lips against yours. But you weren’t too upset with that since Harry definitely made up for it in the way he played with you afterwards. 

After simply toying with your other breast in the same way he did the first, Harry brought his mouth into play. He got rid of your sweatshirt that was already pushed up as high as possible to expose your chest, leaving your upper portion entirely bare. He then proceeds to lay between your legs, and wrap one of his hands around one of your breasts before taking the other into his mouth. If you two weren’t in that much of a rush or a rush at all, Harry always took the time to mouth at your chest. He was absolutely obsessed with stuffing his mouth with your supple breasts and just sucking on them. He also loved sucking on your pert nipples. He loved to suck on them and even lightly bite down onto them if he wanted to make you moan even louder. Which speaking of moans, you and Harry’s moans never stopped. Harry’s were quite muffled due to the fact that his mouth was full at the moment and yours were the exact opposite. They were filling the room and beautifully ringing into Harry’s ears. Following the same pattern as before, once he’s done mouthing at one side, he moves to the other. Again, the two of you continuously moaning, you from the sensation, and Harry from the sheer enjoyment of it all. 

Once he’s all done with your chest and is ready to move on to the lower part of you, Harry begins to kiss down your body. Instead of starting at your chest, he comes back up to your lips to sponge a few kisses onto your lips and to lick into your mouth a little before leaving a trail of wet kisses down your throat, and to each of your nipples, taking a moment to suck on them a little. He then leaves a kiss on the area between your breasts before continuing on his journey down your body. He leaves a ton of kisses along your midsection, taking the time to appreciate your body. 

To say that Harry was obsessed with your body would be a bit of an understatement. Harry loved every single inch of your body. If it was on you, Harry loved it. He wished you just walked around the house naked so that he could see all of you all the time. Harry would literally die for you and your curves. He was absolutely in love with your rounded figure and if he was given the platform to express how much he loved your figure, he was going to make sure he did it. Whether it be by means of constantly touching or squeezing you, whispering into your ear about how amazing you looked and how bad he wanted you, bringing one of your hands to the front of his pants so that you could feel just how hard he was from just staring at your body, or just worshiping your body like he was kind of doing now. Along with his kisses, Harry sang your praises and just gushed all over you, he would even bite at the flesh of your stomach a little. Your body was just so soft and it was like he became a puddle whenever he touched you. And a bit of a horny teenage boy.

When he reaches the waistband of your sweats, Harry quickly sits himself on his calves between your legs so that he can “properly” pull your pants down. 

“Wanna unveil your lower half baby.” He explains, hooking his fingers into  both sides of the waistband of your sweats. 

“Whatever you say Harry.” You chuckle, playfully rolling your eyes at how serious he was when it came to getting you naked. In response, Harry quickly pops the elastic against your skin before hooking his fingers back in. He then beings to ever so slowly pull your sweats down. He makes it about halfway down your thighs before he’s stopped in his tracks all together. 

“Oh my goodness.” Harry gawks, completely taken aback by the sight in front of him. Not to say that he was upset with it or anything. In fact, Harry was mesmerized at the sight. Now along with your beautiful, perfectly rounded figure, you also had something just as beautiful and rounded going on between your legs. The area between your legs was absolutely amazing and perfect to Harry. 

He loved to cup your fleshy mound in his hand at any given time. If you two weren’t cockwarming at night, he’d always have a hand in your panties holding your plushy cunt in the palm of his hand. Even if he’s driving, Harry would either be holding your hand or cupping your pussy because of how plushy and soft and plump you were. That’s why he loved when you wore dresses or skirts. Even though he didn’t mind undoing your pants if it meant getting to your cunt, he definitely preferred having easy access to you and being able to just hold you in his hand. Harry also loved it when you wore leggings. Like not only were your delectable curves on display, your puffy peach as Harry liked to call it was also on display. It didn’t matter if you wore panties or not, there would always be a defined outline of your pussy through the material. Along with the overall rounded shape of your mound, he was also able to see where your fleshy folds met. And it was even more defined when you decided to tease him and not wear panties when you joined him for a workout. At one point, Harry had to take your out to buy more leggings because he’d be so turned on that he’d tear a hole in the crotch area and just fuck you right then and there. Harry was never, nor did he ever want to, kick his obsession. It was just never going to happen. 

“They were the only ones I had before doing laundry. Plus they’re not exactly uncomfortable.” You say, explaining why you had such a pretty and tiny thong on, breaking Harry right out of his perverted thoughts. 

“I just wanna take a bite outta you.” Harry groans, completely disregarding your explanation (which he thought was actually adorable…like you actually felt the need to explain, to him of all people, why your pussy was bursting out of an itty bitty thong) and feeling his cock twitch in his pants. The thong wasn’t doing its job of covering you in the front at least, if anything, it was being swallowed up by your fleshy cunt. “Such a pretty little pair of panties.” Harry sighs, staring at how your amazingly delicious and juicy cunt as he loved to describe it, was practically bursting out of and engulfing the thong you had on. “Can you um- lets just get these off of you first.” Harry says, changing his direction to you and quickly helping you out of your sweats before tossing them somewhere behind him. He also pushes your legs further apart, only making the panties even more useless when it came to covering your cunt, and in turn, giving him an even better view. “Now I want you t’pull them up from here baby.” Harry instructs, reaching out to pull one of your hands that was lying on your stomach down to the top of your panties to show you from where he wanted you to pull. After he does this, you follow his direction, tugging your panties up a bit, causing them to move further up between your folds.

By now your lips were fully exposed on either side of the sting of fabric that was practically inside of you at this point. Upon seeing this, Harry couldn’t help but to reach down between your legs and pinch the two fleshy lips between his fore finger and thumb. You were so soft, plushy, and sticky between his fingers. And Harry couldn’t help but to play with you a bit. As he continued to squeeze you between his fingers, your mind was racing. On one hand you had Harry obsessing over you and just worshiping you, which never failed to make you all blushy. And then on the other hand, Harry was touching you and was completely entranced with your body, which made you incredibly needy for him. You were fighting with wanting to snap your legs shut from how exposed you were for him, and with wanting him to touch you even more. And on top of all that, you were fiercely tugging your lower lip between your teeth, trying your hardest to hold back the little moans that were threatening to spill out from how much you enjoyed the way you were being touched. But you couldn’t help but to let out a little yelp and moan when Harry pushed one of his fingers in between your lips to pull the sizable portion of your panties that had been engulfed by your pussy back out and to the side.

After squeezing, poking, prodding, and obsessing over your pussy a bit more, Harry finally removes his hand from between your legs(and the other from his pants). He then glides his hands up your thighs, to which he gives a good squeeze because he just can’t help himself, and he brings his hands all the way up to your hips where the bands of your panties were resting. The sight of the elastic slightly digging into your soft and fleshy hips alone was enough to make Harry of wild. He hooks his fingers into the thin bands before pulling them down from your hips and off your body, leaving you completely bare and spread before him. He’s quick to toss the panties in the same direction as your pants from earlier, immediately bringing his focus back to you once the last piece of your clothing was completely out of the way. 

“Have I told you how stunning you are?!” Harry randomly asks, taking a moment to take all of your now fully naked body in. Before making another move, Harry just had to sit back and look at you. 

“I think you have at just about every moment you could possibly find.” You softly reply, fighting the intense urge to snatch up one of the pillows next to your head to cover your face.

“Well I’m just gonna say it again…” Harry begins, slowly lowering himself on top of you, bringing himself up a bit so that his face could hover over yours. As he momentarily lays himself on top of you, you could feel his very hard cock pressing right into where your lower stomach and the upper portion of your mound began. He was pressing right into where you were feeling the most pressure, and he was so close to where you needed him the most. “And again, and again, and until I can’t say it anymore.” He continues, bringing his face down to yours, and pushing himself into you a tad bit harder. “You are the most stunning creature I’ve ever laid eyes on.” He whispers, looking you right in the eyes as he uttered every word. Harry then brings his mouth to yours, locking your lips in a kiss that was filled with passion, adoration, and lust.

As Harry kissed you, his tongue explored your mouth and his hands explored your body as if they’d never done it a thousand times before. You could feel his hands moving across your entire body. They started at your chest, fondling your supple and ample breasts again and rolling your pert nipples between his fingers. His hands then traveled down your sides, using his grip on you as leverage a bit to rut himself against you, receiving some of the mounting pressure in his cock. Harry pushes his hands further down your body and right between your legs. When he hears  a muffled little whimper escape your mouth, Harry decides to tease you a bit and slowly glides his hand down your mound, wanting you to beg him a little. And that you did, whenever he’d stop his hand from going further, you’d immediately whine into his mouth and buck up into his hand, causing Harry to chuckle against your lips at how needy you were before continuing on. Eventually, after he’s had is fair share of teasing you, Harry brings his hand down to your folds and pushes two fingers in between. He drags them up and down, starting at the very top near your clit, and pushing them all they way down between your lips and to your entrance where he slightly nudges with his fingertips. As he does this, he focuses in on your entrance and your clit. Whenever he came back to your clit, he’d start circling your clit and the sensitive area right underneath it and would not let up. Like you’d be moaning up a storm and squirming underneath him and he’d still be working in your clit. Your sensitivity was already heightened after everything that went down before he even started toying with your clit, so to have him barely letting up on your incredibly sensitive button was a lot for you to handle.

But after a little while longer, Harry finally lets up on your pussy and brings his kisses down your body for the second time, only this time, he keeps his eyes trained on yours as he sponges wet open mouthed kisses along your body. When he makes it back down between your legs, there isn’t a second to spare before Harry begins mouthing at your cunt. He’d been dying to do this since he first pulled down your pants to discover your cunt bursting out of that thong of yours. Your cunt was already so plump and juicy against his fingers, it felt ten times as plump and juicy against his mouth. He was in heaven as he mouthed at your cunt. For the first couple of minuets, all he could do was suck on the fleshy lips of your pussy, loving how thick they were. He even went as far as to pinch them together between his fingers and just suck them into his mouth and lick in between them. Harry then pushes your legs up a bit before resting his forearms on your spread thighs (this also helps for when you try to snap them shut when it got to be too much) and brings his hands in to pull your fleshy cunt apart to really expose all of you to him. And in no time, his mouth is attached to your clit. One minute he was harshly sucking on your clit, and the next he was slowly sucking on you and lapping his tongue back and forth against your clit. As he sucks on your button, Harry couldn’t help but give in to his body; he starts to grind himself down into the bed, trying to relieve the intense throbbing in his cock. He was beyond turned on and he couldn’t help himself. He loved having your body on display and he loved being able to play around with and pleasure you. And then to see your delicious cunt bursting out of those so called panties?! He was definitely in need of a release. And so were you. 

With all of he built up need and pressure and sensitivity, on top of the fact that Harry was practically moaning into your clit, it was nearly impossible for you to hold yourself from letting go. And because Harry had become an expert on your releases, he could sense this in the way your moons had turned to whimpers, you were fighting to close your thighs even more, and you hands were wound even tighter in his hair. To make you go even crazier, Harry let go of one of your lips and brought his now free hand down to your entrance where he began to push one of his fingers in and out of you. He then began to slobber and suck even harder on your clit, making it pretty much impossible to hold back any longer. And with that, Harry had you squirting all over his face and the bed. As you let go, Harry doesn’t let up on your clit or your entrance. He keeps fingering you and flicking his tongue back and forth on your button, and he keeps moving his finger in and out of your tight little entrance. Once your release had come to an end, you began thrashing against Harry, needing to take a little break before going any further. He can hear you whimpering that you can’t take anymore but he doesn’t let up. He was so close to his release and he couldn’t stop just yet. To help you out a bit, he eased up on your clit a bit and began to lick all of you and sucking on your lips again until he came. Not too long after you reached your climax, Harry began to feel his rumbling even louder in the pit of his stomach. Eventually becoming so loud he couldn’t ignore it, nor hold back anymore. His hips and mouth came to a halt, and he let completely let go. 

“Fuck fuck fuck!” Harry loudly groans, feeling his warm cum involuntarily spurting from the head of his cock and into his pants. He just couldn’t hold it anymore, you felt, looked, and tasted too good for him to hold himself off anymore. The fact that he didn’t cum already was an accomplishment in itself. Just hearing him moaning and cumming between your legs sent shockwaves to your clit and through your body. 

Once he’s all done Harry stays between your legs and rests his head on one of your soft thighs, taking a moment to recover from his intense release, even though he was still very hard. After about ten or so minutes of just lying there and recovering from those earth shattering releases, Harry finally musters up enough energy to go again and take care of his cock once more. 

“Wanna go again sweets?” Harry asks, breaking the silence as he reaches over to softly squeeze at your equally as soft thigh.

“Don’t think I can...that one was a lot.” You mumble tiredly. “I just got feeling in my legs again.” You continue on. 

“I’ll do all the work baby.” Harry whines, trying to get you to cave. “Then I’ll let your pussy rest.” He offers. 

“Okay fine...you better be glad I want you inside anyways.” You agree, making sure to give him a little attitude. 

As soon as he hears you agree, Harry springs up from your thigh and immediately instructs you on how he wants you. He’s quick to help flip you onto your front, and help get a pillow up underneath your hips. And again, before going any further, Harry takes a moment to appreciate your body. This time, taking the time to gawk at your ass and your thighs. When it came to his favorite positions, Harry’s top position would be you lying on your front. Mainly because he can really pound into you from this angle, but also because he gets to watch your ass and thighs jiggle with every thrust. He loved watching the soft flesh move back and forth with his movements. Plus he loved being able to almost ride your from behind. And he also loved having to pull your ass apart to really see his cock disappearing in and out of your pussy. 

“Fuck Y/n, I can see your sweet and plump little peach from back here.” He groans. Harry would never get over the sight of your puffy little pussy between your fleshy thighs and ass. He couldn’t wait to fuck you and have all of his creamy and sticky cum pooling between your plump lips. The simple thought of that caused Harry’s cock to twitch, signaling to him that he needed to be inside of you immediately. Harry swiftly moves on top of your thighs, lifting himself up a bit to line himself up with your entrance, or at least what he could see from behind. He then nudges his cock past your outer lips to actually align himself with your entrance. When he does this, Harry could hear the sort of creamy sound of his cock pushing past all of your delicious flesh and juices to push inside of you. And then Harry finally begins to sink into your pussy, slowly filling you to the brim with his cock.

“So big!” You mewl, feeling the slight sting from his girthy shaft forcing your walls apart to fit. No matter how many times he’s pushed into you, this feeling would never change.

“Gotta have a big and thick cock for this thick, yet incredibly tiny pussy of yours.” Harry groans, pulling your ass apart to watch his cock disappear into you and feeling your narrow walls stretch to fit his cock. 

Once he’s all the way inside of you, Harry is quick to tighten his grip on the flesh of your ass and begins to piston his hips into you from behind. Thrust after thrust he fucks his cock into you, making sure you feel every last inch and every last stroke inside of you. Both you and Harry were moaning uncontrollably, the both of you still very sensitive from your first releases. You were letting out a perfect mix of cries, moans, and whimpers, every once in a while muffling them by biting into the sheets below you. Unless you asked or begged for it, Harry wasn’t going to go easy on you. So you weren’t surprised with his rough, and very pleasurable thrusts.  They felt so good that you were even becoming a bit lightheaded. This feeling only intensified when Harry laid down on top of you with his mouth right at your ear, whispering the filthiest things and growling into your ear. He was going on and on about how good your pussy was gripping his cock and how he couldn’t wait to make a mess of your insides with his second load cum. He also couldn’t help but to ramble on and on about how puffy your little peach was and how he absolutely loved playing with it. Harry felt like he was in cloud nine. He had his cock buried deep inside your pussy, you were falling apart on him, and he got to listen to your sweet moans, whimpers, and cries along with the sound of his hips slapping against your ass and thighs, and the wet sounds of his cock fucking your pussy. 

Because he was so turned on and desperate to cum again, it wasn’t longer before Harry could feel his second release bubbling up in the pit of his stomach. His hips became a bit staggered as he continued to fuck his cock down into you. He could feel you tightening up around him too and since he wanted the two of you to cum together, Harry pushes a hand down between your body and the bed to squeeze at your fleshy upper mound before pushing it further down towards your clit. 

“Y’cute little button is buried underneath all your meaty pussy baby.” Harry growls into your neck, quickly unearthing your clit and immediately circling it around the hypersensitive bundle of nerves. “Want you t’cum with me baby!” Harry grumbles into your ear as your whimpers intensify. “Can y’do that f’me sweets?” Harry coos, his tone completely juxtaposing the way he’s harshly rubbing at your clit and slamming his hips down into you.

“Mhm! Wanna cum with you!” You cry out to him, feeling the very familiar and overwhelming feeling that came along with your releases. 

“You can do it baby, let go with me!” Harry pants, not being able to hold off any longer. He delivers two final thrusts into you before exploding inside of your warm cunt. And you’re not too far behind, cumming seconds after Harry. You end up squirting for the second time, completely letting go and ending up completely worn out. Harry too was completely worn out with this release milking him for everything he had. It didn’t help that your walls were contracting and quite literally milking his cock. 

But Harry could care less, he’d end up doing just about anything when it came to your puffy little peach. 

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