#but this is a subtweet about italian

[viridesco]

not to be a weeb on main but learning japanese at school at the formative age of 12 gave me such unrealistic expectations for learning other foreign languages, like wydm you have more than 3 irregular verbs in ur whole language

[lorbanery]

Subtweeting Tiktok Drama: Ep #834

Listen

Italians have never been treated anywhere close to the way POC have been treated in the US, and certainly not in 2024.

However

This country is run by WASPs and they don't like anyone who isn't also a WASP.

So yeah, as an Italian-American who grew up in the heart of Italian-American culture hearing basic bitch WASPs complain from their beige houses about how Italian-American aesthetics are tacky and cheap and gaudy and slutty and trashy? I do get why the Italian-American contingent on Tiktok is getting salty about an army of WASP-y fashion girlies declaring "mob wife" the new hot fashion trend, and I'm not really surprised when they start making "white girl" cracks.

Because what the internet has coined "white girl" to mean is what I and the people where I grew up would call a "WASP", which is why I've been using that. A WASP is a White Anglo-Saxon Protestant. "White girl" culture, as defined by the internet, on an aesthetic level, means extreme minimalism, beige and white, maybe a single piece of jewelry, and maybe a designer purse, but a small one that doesn't have to hold more than your cell and wallet, and maybe an expensive trendy travel cup. That? Is a WASP.

It's not me, it's not anyone in my family, it's not anyone I grew up with, it's not an aesthetic I really saw until I started reaching outside of the bubble I grew up in. It's not my culture. I can assure you that when folks make fun of that concept of "white girl"? A lot of Italian-Americans have been laughing and nodding along with you.

Does that absolve us from the more rancid parts of "white girl" culture? Absolutely not. Italian-Americans have been just as vitriolically racist and antisemitic as the WASPs have. I mean, let's get down to the nitty gritty here, when people talk about White Flight in the '50s and '60s? In NYC at least? That was Italians moving out of the city prompted largely by the idea that there were fewer Black folks in the suburbs and therefore the suburbs were less ~*Scary*~. Like, I've heard horror stories about how Boomer Italians were treated growing up, and heard those same people turn around and say similar heinous shit about POC and Jewish folks. It's not like I don't understand why we get lumped in with the WASPs.

I just would like some nuance. I would like us to bring back the term WASP or, if that's actually a regional term, to spread it out a bit more. So that when folks are talking about the beige, minimalist, "clean eating" girlies, you can actually talk about them and not be confused when the folks those girlies are calling tacky, angry, garlic-smelling, greaseballs start complaining along with you.

[resmarted]

honestly i feel considerably calmer than ever before and have worked through a significant amount of my anger from a very traumatic hand i’ve been dealt. the frequent backhanded rude comments don’t go over my head i just don’t feel the need to correct everyone and spar in public where i do that thing and verbally decimate anyone who dare cross me so it becomes fodder for subtweets the next day or whatever. like i literally don’t care and it’s very liberating. i used to have a lot of hang ups on how i do things my own way and not by the book (which is obviously an outdated manual btw) and like, i haven’t read chocolate war in years but something about traditional comedy scene stuff really reminds me a lot of this cult mentality where if you don’t sell yourself we are all going to gang up on you for daring to refuse to join our aggro traditions, or like WHATEVER that vibe is i have always been very much the person who works quietly on something for months at a time and comes out of my hole to present it and goes back to edit and write new things. this idea that you need to be running the same jokes you wrote x amount of years ago into the ground in order to be considered a Real Comic is so bizarre and far past the expiration date in concept alone. i also just get sensory overload like cannot handle constant stimulation i get very exhausted in rooms full of people it takes a lot out of me and i don’t need to explain myself to someone who thinks they’re being slick by trying to sneak diss me me as loudly as possible in some side convo that i have no desire to pay attention to in the first place. like i’m glad you’re better than me on every level good for you homie idk what you want me to say to that. i can die having done a total of two performances and as long as they were solid and something i’m proud of it’s better to me than a million where i’m just going through the motions like a zombie robot BUT i am sure that’s not everyone’s experience it just feels like it is for me when i try to do literally anything at all the Normal Way. idk what to tell you man i don’t need to assert my dominance over things that are not that serious to me and thank god for that bc a few years ago anyone in the scene would have warned you i would have easily been like yo what the fuck did you just say? which is maybe what people want or have come to expect on some level and it’s like, i’m very anticlimactic in my emotional responses and lashings out i know it’s disappointing sorry!do you want to eat italian and hate on sammi or

[alexalblondo]

F1 teams what their actual anthem should be:

Mercedes: Wir sind Helden - Gekommen um zu bleiben:

sooo many songs that work but the line „We came to stay we won’t go away like a perfect stain“: tell me that song doesn’t scream Toto subtweeting Christian and Ferrari about being the girlboss™️ now? (alternate it’s Die Toten Hosen - Tage wie diese cause „On days like this we experience the best and there is no end in sight“ and … damn, I should have picked Haftbefehl - Chabos wissen wer der Babo ist, shouldn’t I?)

RedBull Racing: Reinhard Fendrich - I am from Austria:

a song about Austria (duh!) but it’s basically Reinhard dragging his country to hell and back then going: oh but I still love you, boo! I mean: „I know the rats, I know the stupidity […] I can do what I want, this is where I fit, this is where I belong“ 💔

McLaren: Atomic Kitten - The Tide Is High:

my heart said The Kooks or Razorlight but my brain said One Direction, so we compromised and ended with Atomic Kitten and a song that slaps (be glad it wasn’t Boyzone, fellas) … also both Lando and Daniel are girlbosses™️ and that song screams girl power (Spice Girls were out because someone had to go and marry a spice girl)

Aston Martin: Ed Sheeran - You need me I don’t need you

… I know what you’re thinking, but hear me out, okay? So Aston Martin is british but also really green right? You know which country is famously associated with the colour? Ireland! Who had a song about a girl from Ireland in the past few years? Ed! Where is Ed from? Britain! What other song was sung by Ed? You need me I don’t need you! - anyways, this is a long winded way of saying: I need someone to do a fancam of Seb/Lance holding winners trophies in Aston Martin suits while Ed sings: „They say I‘m up and coming like I‘m fucking in an elevator“ because that line is iconic and I did go to an Ed Sheeran concert just for this (worth it though) (Jk it’s Alles nur Geklaut - Die Prinzen, cause they drive a benz that glitters in the sun)

Alpine: Stromae - Papaoutai:

which is basically Esteban’s song now that Toto has George and Cyril left Renault (Nando, please be his new dad!)

Ferrari: Andrea Bocelli and Giorgia - Vivo per lei:

Idk I just realized I blocked out most of my italian knowledge but yeah, living for her? seems like Ferrari

Alpha Tauri: Il cocodrillo come fà?:

cause it’s a children song and AT is the junior team and also come on ya‘ll, it slaps and if the universe was fair we‘ll get a video of Pierre and Yuki singing it

Alfa Romeo: DJ Ötzi - Der DJ aus den Bergen:

gonna be honest, there is no deep connection here, I just think the song slaps and Sauber is swiss 🙈

Haas: Bruce Springsteen - Born in the USA:

nothing screams Haas 2021 like this song cause it’s basically a big „fuck u!“ but no one gets it (jk jk it’s some Russian electro)

Williams: Elton John - Rocket man:

cause both are iconic and british and it‘s one of my favorite all time songs and Idk, Frank Williams always reminds me of Elton

[honeyctm]

according to tmz’s latest update ,  𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐨  has just signed with  𝖛𝖎𝖑𝖎𝖋𝖞  … you know the twenty five year  𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒆𝒅  singer / songwriter ? the one who resembles 𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐚 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞 ? yeah , her ! they’re known for being  +𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐡𝐢𝐜  but also  -𝐯𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐧𝐠 . rumor has it ,  𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅 . hopefully , under new management , the  𝐜𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 will avoid being the subject of a new scandal .  [ emmy , 21+ , she/her , pst ]

hello everyone ! i am so excited to be here with you all on this brand new journey together ❤️ my name is emmy and i’m one of the admins . please , please seek me out for anything and everything , i’m more than willing to assist ! this is my problematic child honey . she’s a bit of a chaotic mess but i hope you all grow to love her just as much as i have . i can’t wait to plot with you guys ! 

⤷ ⋄ *  introducing honey caprio !

honey was born angela caprio to italian immigrant parents , angela and joseph in maryland . living a rather unproductive childhood , there was not much of her early childhood that is worth noting other than she adopted the name honey relatively young as she loathed sharing a name with a mother and it was an affectionate pet name her father gave her that she really liked . in school , honey was hardly remarkable in any sense . her grades were average , she had a solid friend group and was a member of the choir . her voice is always something that stood out , particularly her talented vocal range which helped cast her in several musical theater productions . so how did someone so genuinely normal sky rocket to stardom ? well , that’s a funny story , actually . ever hear of an industry plant ? you’re looking at one . and what exactly is an industry plant ? an artist that is suddenly skyrocketed to fame seemingly overnight , and that’s exactly what happened with honey . after graduating high school , honey had no intentions of seeking out a higher education . instead , she spent her youth partying with her friends , getting high , and making poor decisions . during one night of drunken karaoke , she was approached by a representative from a record company . a girl with zero ambition to do anything other than live her life to it’s fullest was suddenly being put in booths to sing her little heart out for some of the biggest producers in the game . while this was never a lifestyle that honey had thought plausible before , she quickly fit into the mold of what the record label was after : a sultry vocalist who is inherently messy . and thus , dangerous woman was born . it was a calculated release right down to the title track , the first single , and the overall aesthetic honey would portray . honey had very little input in dangerous woman , which launched her into a mainstream name overnight with her smokey music video and impressive range . suddenly she wasn’t a girl from maryland anymore . she was attending hollywood parties , having sex with big names . no one really knew where this girl came from --- she was suddenly here and in everyone’s faces and making appearances at nearly every award show . sweetener was the first album that honey had some creative control over . she was experienced now , a world tour behind her and a sturdy fan base . while she wasn’t pumping out hits , she was the topic of many headlines . too drunk to walk out of the club , multiple whirlwind romances that ended horrifically , and diva - esque behavior which was amplified by her infamous donut licking incident . shortly after sweetener was released with success , honey’s label gave her the go ahead to drop another album almost six months later , thank u next which earned her several grammy nominations . no one is really sure how a girl so messy became so damn famous , but her agent recommend that she find better management to keep her name in a more . . . ahem , positive light . she signed with vilify and embarked on another world tour which she recently wrapped . it’s rumored honey is currently working on new projects but she’s been keeping it low key . . . for now . 

⤷ ⋄ *  isms + head canons !

⤷  honey is . . . a leo to a fault . she’s playful , bright , but horribly demanding and stubborn . 

⤷  she’s bisexual and she’s honestly quite a shamelessly sexual individual . she isn’t the type to settle down to easily , though , and often juggles a handful of lovers instead of committing to just one person .

⤷  her sense of humor is really unique . she sarcastic and dry , but i would also consider her to be quite childish . she’s immature in what she finds amusing . 

⤷  she has all the canon tattoos that ariana grande has .

⤷  becoming a celebrity hasn’t really changed her personality too drastically , rather she’s very set in her ways and doesn’t often behave like a celebrity should . she isn’t very poised . she curses in interviews and on the red carpet .

⤷  while she is so successful musically , it wasn’t her passion until recently . now that she has more creative control of her music and has been taught the art of production , she is genuinely passionate over it . 

⤷  she literally won’t respond to angela , just don’t do it . don’t call her that . . . she’ll kick you right in the balls , i promise you .

⤷  if i had to compare her characters , i would say she’s a mixture of buffy summers , jim from the office , summer from rick and morty , & marquise from cruel intentions . 

⤷  her tendency to be impulsive gets her in a shit ton of trouble . she has horribly bad luck and is caught by the press doing nearly everything that she should keep hidden .

⤷  loathes being alone , she will have her friends live with her in her home rather than not have someone to go home to .

⤷  she isn’t the best romantic partner . a lot of her music reflects that , especially in thank u next . she doesn’t really seem to care about the way she acts , either . it’s important to note she hasn’t genuinely felt love before . she’s come close , but that exploded in her face . 

⤷  in contrast , honey is an excellent friend . she’s loyal . she’s fierce when it comes to her group . she’ll be the first one posting shit on ig , the first subtweeting . she relies on her friends for a great deal of support .

⤷  fame coming so quickly and so out of pocket really fucked with honey emotionally and psychologically . she suffers from anxiety , gets panic attacks , and often turns to drinking and drugs to combat those feelings .

⤷ ⋄ *  plot ideas !

⤷    platonic plots : best friend(s) , housemates , music collaborator , inspiration , writing buddies , party buddies , only friends when we’re high / drunk , we met backstage at an award show and have a budding friendship , you used to date my best friend but we got along so well we stayed friends , drug dealer , i got too drunk at a party and you looked after me , confidants , we went on a date but ended up being friends instead , theme park buddies , sibling like bond , we used to hate each other until we actually got to know each other , publicity friends , we used to date but now we’re just friends

⤷    romantic plots : forbidden romance / affair , hateship , exes with benefits , friends with benefits , publicity romance , heartbreak , i could’ve fallen in love with you but we never got the chance to make it real , we only hook up when we’re fucked up , you’re the boy / girl in my songs 

[ftazcras]

was  that  azura  chesky  i  just  saw  hurrying  across  the   quad  ?  you’d  think  they  would  know  what  happens  when  a  sophomore  is  late  to  class .  then  again  ,  the  fashion  major  has  been  known  to  be  pretty  finicky .  maybe  being  so  effulgent  helps  keep  them  out  of  trouble  .  i  heard  they  are  bicurious  and  love  daddy  kink  &  choking .

name   :  azura  juliette  chesky  .

nickname/s   :   az , zura  ,  aj  .

birthdate   :   november  fifth  ,  thus  making  her  a  scorpio  .

age   :   twenty  one  .

gender   :    cisfemale  ,  she   ╱  her . 

hometown   :  charlottesville   virginia   but  she  lived  in  venice  italy  for  four  years  after  mother  left  .

sexuality   :  bicurious  .

   INCEPTION :

honeyed  hues  and  rosy  lips  ,  you  are  porcelain   features  and   the  daughter  of  a  man  who  would  give  you  his  world  and  everything  beyond  that  ..  you  grew  up  with  financial  privilege  and  the  sound  of  sweet  laughter  falling  from  reflected  features  .   your  childhood  consisted  of  cotton  candy  skies  blending  into  the  craved  oceans  that  devour  painted  toe  nails  .  the   gentle  tug  on  your  arm  as  you  allow  your  twin  brother  to  pull  you  into  one  of  his  schemes  .   you  do  not  like  to  talk  about  the  day  your  mother  walked  out  on  you  ,  nor  the  nights  you  begged   the  skies  above  you  to  answer  all  of  the  why’s  you  had  ..  why  did  she  leave  ,  why  weren’t  you  good  enough ..  why  did  she  not  love  you .  it  shaped  you  more  then  you  would  like  ,  but  you’d  never  admit  that  .  

PERSONALITY  AND  FAST  FACTS  :  

effulgence  in  human  form  is  accurate  for  azura,  she  is  a  bubbly   energetic child  who  does  not  know  how  to  stop  her  lips  from  rambling  .   as  her  brother  would  announce  ,  she  likes  the  sound  of  her  own  voice  (  despite  everyone  else  around  her  having  a  different  opinion .  )  

she  is  clumsy  ,  which  is  ironic  considering  she  is  a  beast  on  a  cheer  mat  .  but  the  minute  she’s  off  she’s  tripping  .  falling  .  busting  ass  .  all  of  her  most  embarrassing  moments  consist  of  her   falling .

she  is  a  goof  ball  ,  tends  to  always  be  teasing  someone  .  

entirely  affectionate  and  not  always  in  a  sexual  way  ,  she  genuinely  just  enjoys  simple  acts  such  as  holding  your  hand  .  resting  her  head  on  your  shoulder  .  she  is  the  friend  that  is  always  jumping  all  over  you  ,  will  sit  on  your  lap  despite  there  being  an  open  spot  right  there  .  and  of  course  ,  when  in  an  relationship  her  affection  does  not  differ  .  this  intensifies  when  she’s  drunk  .

despite  her  being  a  doll  baby  ,  when  it  comes  to  getting  to  know  her  on  an  emotional  level  she  can  be  difficult .  hard  to  please  ,  hard  to  get  .  

she  is  convinced  everyone  will  leave  her  ,  and  with  that  she  is  either  clinging  to  you  or  is  pretending  like  you  dont  mean  anything  to  her  to  help  convince  herself  that  when  you  do  leave  it  wont  hurt  .  

her   abandonment  is  not  something  she  admits  to  herself  ?  but  mostly  it’s  because  she’s  playing  this  game  of  hey  i  barely  even  remember  her  who  even  cares  i  dont  need  anyone  who  doesnt  need  me  .

she  is  entirely  loyal  to  her  friends  ,  and  takes  loyalty  seriously  .  there’s  nothing  worse  you  can  do  then  betray  her  (  or  lie  to  her  )  .

she  craves  meaningful  bonds  with  others  ,,,  it’s  her  most  toxic  and  selfish  trait  .  has  this  weird  thing  of  needing  to  know  that  if  she  disappeared  one  day  that  people  would  miss  her  ..   lose  their   minds  .  it  ties  into  her  constantly  feeling  disposable .

is  passionate  about  everything  she  does . super  ambitious    likes  having  things  to  put  her  energy  into  .

she  hates  being  viewed  as  anything  but  the  fun  loving  angel  she  usually  is  and  with  that  she  rarely  speaks  about  her  negative  emotions . refuses  to  cry  in  public .  which  is  funny  because  she  is  definitely  a  insensitive  to  the  streets  and  sensitive  in  private  kind  of  person  .

she  is  learning  that  being  her  sensitive  vulnerable  person  is  not  a  bad  thing  but  its  hard  for  her .

is  an  adrenaline  junkie  !!  likes  doing  things  that  make  her  heart  race  !!  loves  travelling  but  that’s  her  dads fault  .  

would  live  on  the  beach  if  she  could  (  she  grew  up  on  a  beach  literally  lived  in  the  water  )  .

she  grew  up  involved  in  almost  every  sport  .  soccer  ,  volleyball  ,  softball  ,  cheerleading  ,  she  even  did  competitive  surfing for  two  years .

cheerleading  is  her  sport  .  and  it  is  something  she  still  does  in  college  and  damn  is  she  good  at  it  .  ( prefers tumbling to most things ) 

she  is  one  of  those  party  girls  i  can  already  feel  in  .  stumbling  in  at  four  am  and  still  getting  up  at  nine  am  to  head  off  to  class  and  then  practice  before  doing  it  all  over  again  ..  she   is  adventurous  and  never  says  no  to  something  that  seems  fun  so  ??   dont  tempt  her .

she  speaks  fluent  italian !! 

highkeys  likes  being  handled  .  rough  sex  is  just  up  her  alley  .  likes  being  spanked  .  aggressiveness  turns  her  on  .   clearly  she  loves  being  choked .  is  definitely  a  please  daddy  puppy  eyes  and  all  kind  of  girl  .   more  submissive  then  anything else  .  cuffs  ,  ropes  ,  she’ll  do  it  .  oral  ,  tends  to  love  giving  but  who  doesnt  love   receiving  .  the  more  comfortable  she  is  with  you  the  more  she’ll  tend  to  do  . 

WANTED  CONNECTIONS  :  

platonic  soulmates  .  i  mean  picture  your  favorite  tv  duo  and  this  is  them  .  i  want  the  full  nine  yards  .  knowing  everything  about  each  other  to  their  orders  at  taco  bell  to  their  biggest  regrets .  summer  breaks  and  winter  breaks  you  can  spot  them  on  one  another  stories  doing  something  absolutely  stupid  .  they  text  non  stop  just  to  talk  shit  and  vent  about  their  day  ..  non  sexual  bubble  baths  .  sharing  clothing  .  anytime  one  posts  a  picture  you  can  see  the  other  in  the  comments  with  an  annoying   yesssssss  baby  .  

a  group  of  friends  !!  i  just  want  a  group  of  three  of  four  that  are  always  together  doing  the  most  .  they  have  a  groupchat  ,  post  pictures  non  stop  on  instagram  together  .   snapchat  stories  while  one’s  yelling  at  the  other  and  the  other  two  are  doing  something  stupid  and  laughing  about  it  .  inside  jokes  and  even  petty  arguments  that  always  end  up  in  being  solved  …  of  course  after  a  few  subtweets .

the  first  love  ?   good  terms  or  bad  terms   .  each  other’s  first  everything  .  still  have  such  a  soft  spot  for  one  another  .  could  still  be  friends  .  

an  on  and  off  lover  ..  something  a  little  messy  .  stupid  things  like  arguing  about  seeing  another  girl  on  his  story  or  watching  her  run  off  with  another  guy  .  late  night  texts  and  soft  forehead  kisses  .  only  if  they  could  get  their  shit  together  and  admit  how  much  they  actually  love  each  other  .

confidant  ?  something  real  soft  .  opening  up  about  their  darkest  secrets  .  her  finally  admitting  to  someone  that  she’s  scared  everyone  will  leave  her  .  drunk  sobs  as  they  play  with  her  hair  and  tell  her  everything  is  okay  .  that  she  will  be  okay  .

a  partner  in  crime  .  almost  getting  arrested  together  ?  three  am  stops  at  diners  to  eat  pancakes  and  bacon  .  vacations  that  consist  of  things  they  can  not  repeat  .  encouraging  each  other  to  take  that  last  shot  or  hook  up  with  that  person  .

friends  with  benefits  .  it  does  not  mean  anything  .  it  doesnt  ,  it  really  does  not  ..  or  at  least  thats  what  they  tell  each  other .   pulling  on  another  way  from  the  crowd  to  have  a  quickie  in  the  bathroom  .  late  night  on  rooftops  giggling  and  smoking  .  blowjobs  before  practices  and  games  .  wondering  if  they’re  more  then  friends

honestly  ??  give  me  all  types  of  plots  with  different  dynamics  .  i  live  for  cute  friendships  and  angst  angst  angst  .  i  want  childhood  friends  that  remind  her  of  when  times  were  much  simpler  .  family  friends  she  considers  cousins  because  that’s  how  close  they  are  .  ex  friends  that  refuse  to  speak  to  each  other  .  ex  friends  with  benefits  that  stopped  because  one  caught  feelings  or  maybe  they  were  just  bored  .  bad  influences  and  good  influences  ..  toxic  friendships  because  not  friends  and  then  friends  again  is  so  common .  one  sided  friendships  .  unlikely  friends .  love  /  hate  relationships  !  ex  best  friends  who  miss  each  other  like  crazy  ,  old  flings  and  teammates  .  study  buddies  who  help  her  keep  her  grades  up  in  the  mist   of  crazy  stories  and  hangovers .  friends  who  only  get  along  when  they’r e  both  drunk  out  their  minds .  actual  cousins  from  her  mothers  side  ???  her  dad’s sides  ?