#but this explains why im so in love with remus

[redlight95]

how.

like how do I kin EVERY FUCKING SIRIUS CHARACTERIZATION.

from crimson rivers to kill your darlings, to disintegration to tcoptp to atyd...

bloody fuck is this a disease

[remusbuzzcutt]

sirius didn’t know why he chose to go on with astronomy throughout hogwarts. maybe he wanted to feel some sort of connection to his childhood or even himself/his namesake, but he never actually felt that connection. after a while, he considered dropping the subject in trade for one that felt easier such as muggle studies, but then someone caught his attention.

xenophilius always had a passion for the stars and the universe beyond earth’s territory. sirius saw him as a spacey, sort of esoteric, guy who tended to keep to himself. sirius found the other boy’s presence beyond intriguing and that was frankly the sole reason he hadn’t yet dropped the class. did he want to be friends with xeno? he didn’t think so. all sirius knew was that he wanted to know xeno or be some sort of acquaintance.

as time went on, they became just that; acquaintances. nothing more than exchanged comments or a brief snigger. xeno’s crude, potentially bordering on out-of-pocket, humour was perfect for sirius.

my vision??

[ellecdc]

hii!! i rlly like your writing and was wondering if you could do a request ? remus (or wolfstar ) x reader where its like posthogwarts and she went to a diff wizarding school and the wizard thing was hush hush cuz she was a muggle, but then one day she like accidentally uses magic and they were like “ omg wait what” and like yeah. anyways pls feel free to ignore this its a very odd request LMAO. thank you so so much for taking the time to read this !!! (im sorry if this sounds weird i dk how to talk to ppl) ok bye 🫶

this was a very cute prompt! thank you so much for your request and your patience in my writing it!

poly!wolfstar x fem!reader who they believe to be a muggle [1.8k words]

CW: fear of werewolf prejudice, fear of muggle born prejudice, I also included a line in French and you can find the translation at the bottom of the work

Sirius knew that they were, perhaps, being a little bit selfish by keeping such a big secret from you.

Statute of Secrecy be damned, they were well beyond the point in your relationship where they could have (and likely should have) told you that he and Remus were wizards (oh, and, while we’re at it, Remus turns into a beast once a month so there’s that, too). 

And while their friends all suspected it was Remus who was hesitant to tell you the truth on account of his lycanthropy, it had actually been Sirius who kept procrastinating the long overdue conversation.

But Sirius had to admit that he was very scared to tempt fate, because meeting you had been a complete fluke and he wasn’t willing to muck it up by scaring you off. How many times in one life did someone get the chance to meet a perfect angel?

Sirius had already met Remus which felt like nothing short of destiny, and then they met you, and that felt prophetic. And who was Sirius to mess with the prophecy? 

“You cannot chicken out tonight.” Remus muttered as Sirius rapped on your door, earning him an indignant scoff from his boyfriend. 

“I’ve never once chickened out in my entire life, thank you very much. That’s why I was sorted into Gryffindor.”

Remus merely snorted. “Sure, that’s why this is our seventh attempt at breaking the news, yeah?”

Sirius refused to look at Remus before banging (slightly louder) on your door once more before you finally opened up.

Gods you were so bloody beautiful; smiling like you couldn’t physically be any happier that your two boys were here, eyes excited and bright and so full of love and fuck sakes he couldn’t do it.

“Hey dove.” Remus greeted for the both of them, seeing as Sirius’ brain was short circuiting on account of your beauty and loveliness, pressing a kiss to your hairline and all but shoving Sirius past the threshold of your door. “It smells amazing, what are you making?”

Your smile seemed to grow impossibly brighter at the praise. “A vegetable bake! It’s sort of Mediterranean, and I’m making pasta to go with it.” You explained excitedly, and Sirius honestly felt like he was going to start overflowing with the amount of fondness he had for you.

“You going to say hello to our girl, Siri? Or are you just going to keep staring at her?” Remus taunted as he walked further into your flat to place the flowers he was carrying for you in a vase - the routine of bringing you bouquets every time they visited so practised that he knew where to find your vases. 

“Of course, gorgeous. Sorry for being rude.” He murmured as he pulled you into his chest and breathed you in. “You’ve got to stop answering the door looking so bloody beautiful; I completely forget myself.”

You giggled into his chest and then leaned on your tiptoes to press a chaste kiss to his lips that he - the selfish bastard - didn’t find nearly enough before he pulled you into a second deeper, lingering kiss. 

“It’s good to see you, Sirius.” 

Sirius sighed happily - because really, it was even better to see you - as he shuffled the two of you towards the kitchen Remus was now fussing in. 

“Beautiful!” You cheered as Remus positioned the bouquet in the middle of your kitchen island; and Sirius could see the mischief in Remus’ eyes even if you couldn’t.

“Just like you, dove.”

And, quite possibly one of their favourite sights, they watched you turn bashful as you opted to fuss with the arrangement instead of looking at either of them. 

“Listen, sweetheart, we were wondering if perhaps before we eat, we could chat with you about something?” Remus decided to rip the bandaid, and Sirius wanted to hex him for the way your body tensed and you looked at him with what appeared to be mild horror.

“Oh- uhm, okay, yeah, sure that’s… that’s fine.” You stuttered as you moved to the kitchen table to take a seat, both boys following obediently. 

Sirius watched as Remus moved last week's bouquet - which Sirius had secretly cast a stasis charm over so that they would last longer - out of the centre of the table and closer to Sirius so that they could both have a better view of you. 

“Is…everything okay?” You asked cautiously as you fiddled with the sleeve of your shirt. Sirius wanted to throw up. 

“Of course, dovey.” Remus assured you, though it was Sirius’ thigh he gave a comforting squeeze under the table. “We just know that we’ve been seeing each other for a while now, and we’ve grown to care about you quite a lot- you know that, right?”

Sirius watched as the divot between your brows only deepened as you nodded hesitantly. “So much, gorgeous; we care about you so much.” He insisted when it didn’t look like you truly believed them. 

“But we just, well, we haven’t been completely honest with you, is all. And now that we’re at this point in our relationship, we…we feel like we owe it to you to be honest.” Remus continued, clearly beginning to feel just as out of his depth as Sirius was. 

Your face fell completely blank, though Sirius could tell you were still tugging nervously at your shirt sleeve.

“Baby, I swear this isn’t bad, we- I rather think I’m in love with you, and-”

But as Sirius went to reach his hand over to rub at your arm in a way he hoped to be comforting, he ended up knocking over the vase stationed in front of him.

It didn’t break, thank Merlin, but it did topple over before Sirius could catch it and the water poured over the table.

Remus went to stand quickly to avoid being soaked, but no sooner had he pushed his chair away from the table was the vase floating towards you and the water completely vanished. 

Not looking at the boys in front of you, you righted the vase and repositioned the florals to your liking before looking up at Remus who was now standing and staring at you owlishly, and Sirius who was gaping at you from his seat.

“Did you just-” Sirius started, voice no more than a whisper, but was quickly cut off by the sound of a timer in the kitchen.

You waved your hand in that direction mindlessly before sinking back despondently in your chair and staring down at your lap, the timer silent.

“Y/N.” Remus rasped. “Did- was that…are you a witch?” 

You appeared to flinch as if you’d just realised what you’d done before you looked up; all colour seemingly draining from your face.

“What? I-” You started with a nervous chuckle. “I don’t know what you’re talking about? There’s no such thing as witches…”

But Sirius knew what he saw, the first could have been an accident - a trick of the mind - but the second act of magic was all the confirmation he needed.

Silently, Remus summoned the vase of flowers towards him before charming them to dance to imaginary music, plucking one from its stem and turning it gold before reaching across the table to put it behind your ear as you gaped at him. 

“You’re…a wizard?” You whispered in disbelief. 

At that, Sirius stood and spun, turning into Padfoot and panting excitedly at your feet as his tail whacked against the table leg with every wag.

A wet laugh escaped you before either boy realised you were wiping your eyes.

“Oh my gods?” 

“Awe, dovey.” Remus cooed as he moved over to Sirius’ chair so he could take your hands in his. “Don’t cry.”

“Is this what you guys were going to tell me?” You asked cautiously, hopefully. 

Padfoot melted back into Sirius, but he stayed kneeling at your feet as he rubbed soothing stripes up and down your calf. “Yes, baby; this was it.” He assured you. “I’m sorry we scared you.”

“So, that boarding school you went to in France?” Remus asked with an arched eyebrow.

“Beauxbatons.” You confirmed with a nod of your head. “And your boarding school in Scotland?”

“Hogwarts.” The two boys chorused, and you all let out a chuckle.

“It’s almost embarrassing that didn’t give it away right there.” You laughed breathlessly. 

“Since we’re, uh, being honest about stuff…” Remus continued, trailing off awkwardly as he shared a grimace with Sirius. “I’m also, well, I’m also a werewolf.” 

“Oh.” You breathed quietly. 

Sirius held his breath as he watched you consider this before you nodded your head decisively. 

“I’m muggleborn.” 

Sirius and Remus shared a quick look before Remus let out a disbelieving chuckle. “Is that- …what?”

“Baby, are you trading that information like we might think that’s a negative?” Sirius teased you lightly. 

“I suppose it depends on who you ask…” You whispered, and both boys softened. 

“Not us, dove.” Remus offered. “Good.” You smiled at him. “Then me too.”

“Is that really how you feel about it? About me?” Remus asked quietly. 

“No, it’s not how I feel about you.” You denied. “J'ai l'impression de tomber très amoureux de toi.” You admitted shyly, and Sirius couldn’t be held responsible for the mortifying cooing sound that resonated from the back of his throat. 

He grabbed your face roughly and started peppering you with kisses: “how”, a kiss, “did we”, a kiss, “manage to find”, another kiss, “the most brilliant and beautiful witch”, kiss kiss kiss, “in the whole world?” 

You were giggling and trying - not very hard, mind you - to pull away from Sirius’ ministrations when you stilled and let out a gasp.

“What?” Both boys paused.

“Supper!” You nearly shrieked as you went flying into the kitchen, muttering to yourself in French as you turned off the stove top and fussed with various pots and dishes. 

“I am so unbelievably in love with her.” Remus murmured, eyes glued to your form as you danced through the kitchen. 

Sirius scoffed as he leaned against his boyfriend with his arms crossed, feigning nonchalance. “I can’t believe you were so scared to tell her.”

Sirius didn’t need to look at Remus to know he was glaring at him; he could feel it.

But he also felt his heart grow three sizes when you turned to look at both of them with a beaming smile and a steaming dish in front of you, completely unphased that one of your boyfriends was a werewolf even though as a witch you knew exactly what that meant. And not only were you unphased, but you were still falling in love with them regardless.

Sirius had admittedly been very scared to tempt fate, because meeting you had been a complete fluke and he didn’t want to muck it up by scaring you off. Because really, how many times in one life did someone get the chance to meet a perfect angel?

If meeting Remus had been destiny, meeting you was prophetic; and who was Sirius to mess with the prophecy?

(translation: I feel like I’m very much falling in love with you).

[madwcman]

Hi sweetie (can I call you that? Sorry if it makes you uncomfortable) can I request something that goes like poly marauders x slytherin reader where they figure out they like reader and reader also likes them back but she feels like they don’t like her that way. Angst with fluff something like. Is okay if you can’t take care of yourself <33

a/n: i want to start off and say thank you for requesting and im so sorry i’m posting this late! but i hope you enjoy, this is my first time writing ploy! marauders so please be kind. also i’m not uncomfortable by you calling me sweetie!! :)

pairing: poly! marauders x slytherin! reader

having a crush on three out of the four marauders was just absolutely dense on your half. not only were you a close friend of theirs but james, sirius and remus were in a relationship together, joining in an already formed relationship seemed foolish to you. especially since they were so happy together. you gathered that james, remus and sirius just couldn’t see you in a romantic light.

so you decided to avoid them the best you could. and it wasn’t really that hard. considering you were a slytherin, you just hid in your dorm most of the time. other times where you would see the boys you would just ignore them. if they waved, smiled or even called out your name you would ignore them. and run in the other direction away from them.

“dove, you’re avoiding us.” you look up from the book you were reading and see remus, james and sirius standing in front of you in the library. you’re surprised they’re all in the library, especially james and sirius considering they hate to be quiet and being quiet is the mandatory rule in the library.

“i don’t know what you mean.” you mutter quietly, looking back to your book. avoiding their narrow eyes. “yes you do.” sirius, speaks sourly as you hear the chairs scraping against the floors. looking back up, you see sirius and remus have taken a seat across from you while james sits beside you with a strained smile. “no sirius, i don’t.” you snap back, closing your book. you start to gather your things ready to take your leave to avoid the boys once again.

“will you please just talk to us?” you turn to james, as you stand from your chair. his hair is a little messy from him running his fingers through it, his face looks more red than usual. he looks at you with an angry face. he’s angry with you. “we just want to know what we did.” he waves his hand around between him, sirius and remus. you look at each of the boys with anticipation. you finally let out a sigh and sit back down.

“are you going to talk to us now?” remus asks, he sounds and looks hopeful. you shake your head miserably. this will surely end your friendship with the boys. “well are you going to explain?” sirius ask,

“i’ve been avoiding you three because i want to be with you guys romantically.” you admit, with a gloomy tone. “oh.” they all speak at the same time. you start to tear up and wait for them to reject you. and then later on break up the friendship you guys had. “dove, what’s wrong?” you hear remus get up from his seat across from you and bend down beside you. “dove?”

“are you guys going to stop being friends with me?” you mumble out. closing you eyes. “no, why would we honey?” james ask, rubbing your back softly. “because you guys don’t feel the same.”

“we never said that.” you hear sirius speak, he standing beside remus, he’s not good with comforting but you hear the worry in his tone. you can see he’s trying his best. “what?” you look up from your lap. to look at sirius in disbelief. “we’ve never said that, love.” sirius tells you sweetly, as he moves to bend down with remus.

“we’ve all have actually liked you for a while now.” james admits. “we’ve been meaning to tell you, but you’ve been avoiding us.” remus explains. laughing a little at the situation you guys were in. “oh,” you utter dumbly to yourself. sirius laughs, you feel a little embarrassed but can’t help but smile at yourself.

i’m sorry.” you laugh out, still nervous and embarrassed for avoiding them. you feel slightly silly. “there's no need to apologize,” james rushes out, feeling bad at the thought that you needed to apologize to them. “but you could make it up by going on a date with us.” sirius smiles as he moves in to kiss your cheek.

[ohwowimlonley]

poly!marauders x drunk!reader at a party and reader needy but they don’t want to help reader because they don’t want to do anything when reader basically unconscious of what’s happening because reader is drunk. So they try to explain to reader that they will gladly take care of them after they get better and go to bed. Thank you!

Small psa to all the people that have requested recently - im trying to get through all of them but some i want to write longer fics for and some im keeping in my inbox for blurbs! <3

—

You reach out for them blindly, fingers groping at dead air as you murmer their names. You’re strapped into the back passenger seat of James’ car on the way home from girls night. It’s safe to say that even three hours with Lily and Marlene drinking wine and gossiping about your boys had caused the three of you to go through maybe five bottles of wine between the three of you. Lily had called the boys to pick you up when it got too late, leading to them all but carrying you out to the car while you try to grab at them.

“Siri,” you muster up your sweetest voice, but it’s tinged with a slur and you can’t quite pinpoint where he is when you open your eyes to gaze at him. He makes a small sound from next to you, and his fingers finally brush yours, “you’re so pretty, d’you know that?”

“Oh yeah?” You can hear the grin in his voice, along with the other boys chuckles from the front seats. You squeeze his fingers and follow the line of his arm until you get to his jeans.

“Mhm,” you nod, clenching your fingers around his thigh and fumbling your way towards his crotch, “I tell the girls all about it, like how good you make me feel,”

“Alright, enough,” Remus calls from the passenger seat, leaning back to grip your arm and remove it from Sirius’ crotch. He shushes your whines at the loss lf contact, and fends you off as you lean forward and try to wrap your arm around his chest, “sit back, love, you know that’s not safe in a moving car,”

“But daddy,” you keen, tugging against your seatbelt and pouting around at your boyfriends as they gently keep you from touching them. As your last resort, you turn to James, “Jamsie, you’ll make me feel good, won’t you?”

“I’m sorry, sweetness,” he makes the briefest glimpse of eye contact with you as his head whips back to look through the rear window to check his clearance as he reverses into your driveway.

You don’t exactly remember the next five minutes of your life, it’s mostly a flurry of opening doors and light switches flicking before you’re sat squarely on your shared bed by Remus. The others aren’t far behind him, shutting the door behind them and busying themselves with clinking a glass of water onto the bedside table and finding pyjamas out for the four of you.

Your eyes brighten as James begins removing your dress, and you surge forward and plant a firm kiss on his plush lips. He indulges you for a brief moment before pulling away and tugging your clothes off, only to replace it with one of his tshirts.

“Jamesie,” you whine, wide eyes filling with tears as he moves away from you to begin changing himself, “why won’t you fuck me?”

“Oh, sweetness,” Remus turns in his spot as a tear dribbles down your cheek. He pulls the boys over to you and all of a sudden you’re crowded by your boyfriends.

“Baby,” Sirius takes your hand and crouches down to your level, “you know we love you, and we love makin’ you feel good, but you’ve had way too much to drink tonight,”

“No I haven’t,” you insist.

“Yes you have,” Remus does the same thing as your curly-haired boyfriend, bringing your fist up to smooth a kiss there, “how much wine did you drink with Lily and Marls? You know red is your weakness,”

“But- but that doesn’t mean anything, you can still fuck me,” you grip their hands tighter, nodding at your own words.

“No, baby, not when you’ve been drinking,” James, as always, has the most gentle voice of the three of them, “you’re not in your right mind when you’re drinking, right? You might say yes to something you might regret,”

“But we’ve had sex loads,” you complain, “and I’ve never regretted it before!”

“That’s not the point, sweetness,” Remus interjects, “look, why don’t we go to bed, and when we wake up, I promise we’ll make it up to you, okay?”

“But-“

“No buts,” Sirius extends back to his full height and presses a kiss to your forehead, “go to bed now, okay?”

“And drink some water before you fall asleep,” James reminds you, reaching over and handing you the glass as you resign yourself to silence, pouting to yourself.

“Will you at least kiss me?” Immidietly, you’re overwhelmed with kisses all over your face, causing you to giggle drunkenly at their affection.

[moonstruckme]

hii, can i get some thumbprint cookies?? im thinking about sirius and whimsy (gn) reader + birth chart/horoscope reading

your work is amazing and so are you, sending lots of love💞

Thank you lovely!

okay so first, I think it needs to be said, Sirius absolutely thinks he knows about horoscopes. he's fully and unjustifably confident in this

so when you start talking about horoscopes, he's like "oh, this is my area of expertise, babe. let me tell you all about yourself and all our friends"

then you start talking and he comes to realize he's only internalized stereotypes from the horoscope section of the newspaper and other oversimplified media

"what? but James is a aries, he's not like that"

when you start explaining all the different aspects of his chart he's completely mystified and gets really into it

considers trying to go through Kreacher to find out what time he was actually born, that's how desperate he is to know

of course, once you impart all this knowledge to him, it's now your shared knowledge, and he flaunts it like you've both been experts all along

"Remus, you know, we're both ruled by mars. that's why we're like this"

but at the end of the day, always looks to you to see if he's right, and grins pridefully whether you nod in approval or step in to correct him. his genius love

[dearharriet]

hi lovely ! it's milunalupin :)

could i please request remus + "i waited for you" ? 🫶🏼✨

hello my friend, ty for the request!! im working on my big boy fic for james rn but i wanted a little bit of remus as a break <3 (wc: 691)

“You smell good.”

Remus looks at the man taking a seat across from him, appalled by such a comment. Sirius looks equally stunned saying it, wrinkled nose a mirror of Remus’.

“Thank you?”

Sirius shakes his head like this is the wrong response.

“Why do you smell good?”

Remus rolls his eyes, keeping his posture aloof. “Took my annual bath last night.”

Sirius scoffs. “‘Bout time. Your stench was getting harsh on my delicate canine senses.”

That pulls a laugh from Remus, however small.

By the door, he sees you squeezing into the packed pub, side-stepping between rowdy groups of people and looking around. You’re wearing a mid-length skirt, and when you spot the two boys in their booth it swishes around each hasty step.

“Hi,” you breathe, “I’m sorry. They made me start inventory and then I just had to shower and—” Remus stands to offer you some seclusion via the walled side of the bench seat. You wave your rambling apologies away, winded from running around all day. “Nevermind. I need a drink, Remus. Come with?”

“Sit,” he demands softly, “I’ll fetch it.”

You do as you’re told, hanging onto Remus’ words like a takeout fortune, foolishly hopeful that they mean something. If Sirius didn’t demand so much attention, you’d probably turn them over in your head a lot longer, but he really, really does.

“Think you can show us lads up, eh missy?”

Smothering a smile, you stare Sirius down with false bluntness.

“Yep. You’re lucky I even came at all, honestly.”

Sirius laughs, spinning his glass, half empty and through sweating. You realize his drink is the only one on the table.

“I’m surprised you did. You’re so popular, but you stay humble for us.”

“I have to,” you agree, “I could’ve been with people a lot cooler than you guys, but I just felt so bad. You and Remus don’t have anyone else to hang out with now that James is married.”

“Moony, we’re being bullied,” says Sirius, raising his voice a touch to reach the boy in question. Remus places two new drinks on the maple tabletop, sliding in close to you.

“I’m sure we deserve it,” he says, passing one of the fresh glasses off to you. “We’re turning into losers.”

You bring the cool glass to your lips, relaxing further into the familiar booth cushion and eyeing Remus’ new drink.

“Is that your second?”

Remus shakes his head. “My first.”

He tracks your brows as they pull together. They’d been here almost a half hour already.

“I waited for you,” he explains, smiling gently. Your stomach leaps.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

Sirius jumps in, stepping on Remus’ toes.

“That’s what I told him,” he says, “I said you’re too sweet to mind.”

“Don’t listen to him,” Remus says, following up Sirius’ heel. His voice is still wearing the crooning silk he tends to direct towards you. “It’s the polite thing to do. Sirius just has poor manners.”

Across the way, the man in question sputters objections while you try not to laugh.

“I—I’m impolite? I’m impolite! Please. She’s the only one at this table who was late to a hangout one block away from her apartment. I had every right to drink my sorrows away.”

Remus ducks his head and shoots you a cat-like grin, but Sirius isn’t done.

“And it’s not being polite if you’re motivated by a massive crush, Moony, by the way. D’you know he’s wearing cologne?”

You stare at Sirius, because the alternative of looking at Remus (who is flushed beyond measure) is akin to a death sentence.

“Yes,” you admit. You’d smelled it on him when he stood up earlier, a fresh earthy scent that was too sharp to be soap. Sirius points at your face like he’s caught you.

“See? The only people who notice a guy wearing cologne are his miserable best mates, and girls who want to be waited on.” Remus shoots him a glare and he throws his hands up as if to say, sue me. “I’m just helping.”

Remus curses through an exhale and drops his head into his hands.

+

thank you for reading! xx

masterlist

join the celebration! 🩷

[singmyaubade]

warning: cursing

cheating!boyfriend!james x female!reader

you opened the door to the empty charms classroom where your boyfriend had detention. you gasped, seeing your boyfriend and your best friends sister kissing.

"y/n." james said, already raising up.

anger, sadness, surprise, disgust.

multiple emotions engraved your entire body.

you were stuck in a trance, not being able to fully breathe, not knowing which emotion to act on. you could cry, hit him, yell at him, but none of them seemed right.

"y/n, look at me baby." james said, holding your shoulders, trying to make you look at him.

you looked at him, glassy-eyed.

"baby," he swallowed, "i swear it's not what you think at all." he tried to calm you down but you just couldn't breathe in this moment.

"what the fuck." is all you said.

you looked at your best friends sister, izzy evans. what angered you even more was that it was the sister of a girl he once loved. a girl he once imagined his whole life with.

"baby, let me explain to you what happened." james reasoned, trying to keep your eyes on him.

"fuck you." you spat, turning your heel, storming off into the hallway.

"y/n please." he ran after you, trying to touch your hand.

"james fleamont potter, i don't want to fucking hear it." you snapped, pointing your finger at him.

you knew he had never seen you so angry.

in fact, you guys never fought. your relationship was pure and loving, only having an argument when needed. every problem, you would make sure to talk it out and you gave him your all.

which is why it was so hard to stomach that he cheated.

now his eyes were teary, "i can guarantee it's not what you think, you can't believe that i would kiss her," he rationally said, "i love you."

you couldn't tell if he was being genuine which only rubbed you more the wrong way.

"is this the only time you guys have ever done anything like that?' you asked, willing to forgive if you knew this was the only time it had happened.

he looked guilty, "we have had a few incidents before,"

you scoffed, moving past him to your dorm.

he quickly moved in front of you, "but, i swear, i never went too far."

"good fucking job, you didn't got too far with your mistress, you asshole." you sneered.

"because it was a crush, we both had a little crus-" he explained, realizing his slip up at the end.

"are you fucking kidding me?" you asked.

"baby, i'm sorry, i didn't mean it." he said, kissing you but you pushed him roughly.

"you had a crush on her? a crush on the girl you loved for most of your hogwarts enrollment's sister?" you fumed, "get the fuck away from me." you moved past him and he didn't chase after you.

you were so angry, not knowing where to go.

you didn't want to go to your dorm and have to explain to lily evans, your best friend of seven years, that you caught her sister and your boyfriend who used to be in love with her kissing.

it wasn't fitting.

you just wanted to erase you and james off of this planet. you didn't wanna calm down and talk, you wanted to destroy everything that existed of you two.

so you were going to.

you stormed to the gryffindor common room, going up the stairs to the boys dormitory. you knocked three times, not harshly but just enough to get notice.

sirius opened the door, an red apple in his hand that were shaped by two bites.

"oh y/n, im sorry to tell you but loverboy isn't here yet." he said, jokingly.

you could tell he didn't know anything because he was acting how he usually did and if he did, it would be dramatic because it was sirius.

"i know!" you smiled, "i just wanted to wait for him in here." you said uppity as you usually did.

"alrighty." he said, leaving the door open for you.

you closed the door behind you, "hey y/n." remus said, reading his book in bed with his glasses.

"hey remmy." you greeted with a smile, "how are you?"

"good, how are you? everything alright?" he asked, noticing your smile was cracking.

"fine actually," you said, "just fine."

"okay." he said, not knowing if it was the truth or not.

"do you guys know where james's broom is?" you asked, "he's gonna do some late night practicing?"

"without me?" sirius groaned.

"he wanted to show me a few of his tricks." you smiled.

"well, its right under his bed." sirius pointed.

"thanks." you grinned at him.

you grabbed the nimbus one-thousand fifty-five from under james's bed. you admired the wood of the handle, running your nails along it.

you then grabbed it by the broom part and used it swipe all of the pictures of you and james on the ground which startled sirius and remus.

"y/n!" remus yelled, taking off his glasses.

you ignored him, smashing james's broom on his desk, trying to tear it in half. when you failed at that, you dropped the broom and grabbed the snow globe that you gave him for christmas and smashed it on the ground.

sirius was now slowly trying to move over to you but a part of him was scared.

you grabbed a picture of you and james that was moving, you kissing him on the cheek.

you remember that day like no other, valentines day. james had got you your favorite cake from kowalski quality baked goods. one that usually took months to aquire due to how popular the shop was.

you took in the picture one last time before smashing it to the ground harshly.

that's when remus decided to intervene.

he grabbed both of your hands and hugged your back, putting his arm on your collarbones.

"let me go remus." you said, crying.

"it's not worth it." he whispered in your ear, "whatever it is, it isn't worth it."

you sobbed, holding onto remus's arm.

the door opened and you knew it was james, you didn't even have to look.

before james could say anything, remus said, "sirius take her, i'll talk to prongs." he instructed.

"wait," james said before remus cut him off.

"you don't wanna have this conversation now, trust me." remus said.

remus let you go as you crumbled to your knees and sirius rushed over to you, making sure you were okay.

remus walked outside to james and you couldn't hear what they were saying. all you knew was that you were heartbroken and had no idea what to do.

"come on y/n, please get up," sirius pleaded, not wanting the glass to cut your knees.

"why did he like her?" you sobbed.

"you know prongs is stupid," sirius sighed, "he's not the smartest and that's not an excuse but i think sooner or later, you should really find the root of the problem."

you sniffled, "i never knew you could actually give good advice." you joked.

"well, i think the destroying of the objects in this room has opened my eyes." sirius laughed, "let me clean this up."

you nodded, stepping off of the glass, hissing because of the cuts on your knees.

"after i clean this up, i'll help you with the cuts." he said as you nodded.

you watched as sirius performed several charms and spells to clean up the mess and fixed the fixable objects. after he fixed what he could, he tried his best fifth year taught healing skills.

"thank you sirius." you looked at his eyes.

he smiled, delivering a kiss to your head before going outside to talk to james and remus.

after what felt like several minutes, the door opened and closed. you looked behind you to see james and you both kept eye contact.

you both didn't know what to say for a while, it was as if both of you had forgot all of the words of the human language.

james cleared his throat, "i wish i could tell you something that could fix everything and make us go back to normal but i don't know what to do." he admitted, "i regret what i did to you, it will probably be my biggest regret."

"i know." you said, teary-eyed.

your eyes had burned from crying so much.

"i don't know if we can fix this," you admitted as his mouth opened, "if you are having enough doubts to like another girl, i don't think we should be together."

he moved in front of you, going on his knees, "y/n i love you so much, more than i ever will love anyone else," he pleaded, "just let me prove it to you."

you put your hands in his, "i'm not trying to be cruel, i know we both love eachother but," you exhaled, "i can't be with you if when you hurt me, i feel like this." a tear fell down your cheek, "it's not healthy for either of us."

"please." his voice cracked.

"jamie, we have to let each other go." you calmly said.

"don't leave." he croaked.

your response was a kiss to his cheek before you got up and headed over to the door, not wanting to keep talking about the same thing.

it might not be the last time you guys have this talk but it was enough for you for now.

[letteredlettered]

Hi Im sure you answered this already but i sadly cant find it: how did end up shipping or rather writing drarry fics?

I've actually been asked quite a few times why I ship H/D. I never answer, because it's complicated and long and I have an essay on the subject, so I'll answer the 'how' question without addressing the 'why'.

Once upon a time, the internet was becoming a thing that people used regularly. The news kept talking about how the youths of the day were "surfing the 'net" and this was going to be the new normal. As usual, I could not identify with the 'youths of the day,' even though I was one. What could possibly be of interest to me on the internet? Reading books was far better than talking to other people. Then one day in my senior year of high school it dawned on me that you could possibly talk to other people about books, something I had never done before, as I didn't know anyone but my parents and brothers who ever read for fun, and my parents and brothers did not like to read things like Jane Austen. What if there were people on the 'net who liked Jane Austen??? Seemed fake, but I gave it a try.

The first Jane Austen website I found was Republic of Pemberley, which hosted something they called "Bits of Ivory." Through the "Ramble" board on Republic of Pemberley, I found out that there were "Bits of Ivory" elsewhere. It was called fanfic and hosted on fanfic.net.

Almost all of it that I was introduced to was Harry Potter fic, as HP was the megafandom of the time, and my Sense and Sensibility friend was obsessed with Snape, mainly because of Alan Rickman. I was also obsessed with Snape, though I must say that even though I had been obsessed with Alan Rickman since 1995, I never did like his casting as Snape and still don't. Anyway, I ended up getting interested in Snape/Hermione fic, and continued to be interested on and off for over the next five years.

I should pause at this moment to say that I had been writing fanfic since the fourth grade. I didn't know it was called fic. I didn't know other people did it. It never occurred to me to share it. When I found "Bits of Ivory" it actually took me a while to process that the stories there were in a similar vein to the stories I had been writing all my life, stories based on fiction by other people. It was just so wild to me that anyone would share that stuff, as though other people would want to read the different endings that they came up with, the self-inserts and the cross-overs they came up with.

I should also take this moment to say that I didn't really have slash ships. I was aware that slash existed, and I thought it was great. Sirius/Remus was a background ship everywhere at the time, and even though I didn't really see it in canon and wasn't terribly interested in it, I thought it was a nice thing. And when I started getting into X-Men through Wolverine/Rogue, it seemed obvious to me that Professor X and Magneto had a past sexual relationship. I, in fact, had an original story that I'd started writing in eleventh grade that had similar tension between two male characters, and the idea that they were in love and unable to have sex about it explained so much. And I wrote more original stories in college that were gay.

I think my problem was that the canons I was consuming were quite straight, and while I wasn't obsessed with writing canon-compliant fics, I was (and still am, to some extent) obsessed with writing characters who were true to canon. At the time sexuality seemed some kind of immutable thing to me that was deeply a part of who a character was. Also, sex to me was very Other; it meant something really deep and serious about you that obliterated other things you were. For instance, I was frustrated with all the Frodo/Sam porn, because I felt it obliterated their beautiful friendship and made their relationship about sex and being gay rather than the deep pure bond of friendship. So I was maybe kind of homophobic and confused.

Then I fell in love with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and while that canon has a lot of heteronormativity, it not only has a character who thought she was straight who realizes she's gay, it also has vampires who have lived for centuries and who have broken every kind of social norm that exists. It seemed silly to me to assume that Spike or Angel were straight, which is how I began shipping Spike/Angel, which is how I got absolutely obsessed with slash. It was so liberating to write porn where the power dynamic wasn't influenced by centuries of patriarchy! It was so liberating to write porn where I didn't have to think about my own anatomy or gender or position in a sexual dynamic! It was so liberating to write porn with a bunch of dicks!

Having discovered slash, I turned back to ye olde faithful fandom, which had ten billion fics about everything. I'm not sure I even tried Sirius/Remus, because I was still so uninterested in it, but now I read all the Snape slash, the majority of which seemed to be Harry/Snape. The thing is, I don't ship Harry/Snape. It can be very hot! But while the porn is fine and some of the stories are fun, these are not two people that I want to live happily ever after. I just think that the power dynamic between them, the history they have, and the personalities they are do not make me want to imagine them as a couple with a happy marriage who occasionally have the friends over for games of Quidditch and Exploding Snap. And while I like queer complicated, angsty stories, I also like a happy ending in a semi-heteronormative sense, especially for Harry Potter, who really seems to want one. So, I started looking for other Harry Potter slash.

I knew that Harry/Draco was a juggernaut pairing, but I just hated Draco Malfoy so much. I honestly could not stand him. I used to go about saying that I hated him not only as a person (like, I also hated Snape as a person; he's a dick, and he's cruel to children! But he's a great character) but as a character. I just didn't like the function he played in the narrative. I like big, dramatic rivalries and evil vs good; meanwhile, Draco Malfoy is a little worm. So I kept thinking about reading HP slash, but resisting.

Then, one day, I was sleeping on the couch, and woke up suddenly with the idea that Draco Malfoy could be reformed. He could be sorry for all the shitty things he's done! He could be really apologetic! He could be really trying to make up for his past, and Harry could find this truly beautiful, and they could have sex about it!

Surprisingly, it was hard to find fic about this. For some reason, in most of the fic, it was Harry having to earn Malfoy's approval, instead of the other way around, which I found absolutely bonkers. But I eventually found Eclipse, by Mijan, which was just what I wanted. Then I was obsessed and was reading every Harry/Draco fic I could find.

Eventually, I even read the ones in which Harry was a cad and Draco Malfoy was a perfect snowflake who never did anything wrong. And then I started finding fics that really emphasized that Draco had a very different point of view of what happened, which showed that he really had no way to understand who Harry was, or what Harry had been through. In these fics, Harry had to do some work to understand Draco, which is what really sold me on the pairing. I still want fics in which Draco has to do a lot of heavy lifting to address his past and deal with the hurt he has caused and the violence of his previously genocidal outlook, but I love it when Harry, too, has to adjust. After saving the world and losing most people he loves and protecting the innocent and doing his exhausted little best to be honest and righteous and true, Harry Potter still has to do work, again, to overcome his past and find a peaceful life. And that's what made me start writing Harry/Draco, the end.

[mxqdii]

you taught me - r.b

pairings: regulus black x reader

summary: her last relationship was so toxic that it effects her relationship with regulus. he teaches her what it's like to actually loved and cared for.

warning(s): mentions of abuse, mentions of toxic relationship, sad reader, fluff/comfort from regulus, slight panic attack.

not proofread

it's a typical day, i head to the library to find a good book.

as i walk in, i see regulus and a smile hits my face, we've been dating for a while now. it's still a secret, only evan and barty know, but we’re gonna tell others eventually.

i look around, seeing the empty library and hugging regulus from behind

"hi regs!" i smile and he turns around, eyebrow raised

"regs?" he questions with a teasing smile and my face drops

"sorry! i didn't even know i said that, i can stop if you want it was an accident i swear!" i ramble on and his expression changes again

he looks at me now in confusion

"what..?" i ask quietly

"i was joking love, it's okay." he says and i raise my eyebrows

"oh.. okay.." i noted with a smile

---

later that evening, me and regulus are still in the library, my legs over his as we sit on the couch.

a book in my hand as i flip the pages

my eyes light up as i read about it and regulus notices

"what's got you so happy?" he says and i smile, looking at him

"well, i've actually read this book like 10 times.. i just, i've always really really loved it, like so much. anyways its about thsi girl named lydia and she has like, nobody- anyways she moves to this new town and finds this boy- anyways! sorry i could talk about it for like hours, but i wont" i ramble on

his eyes watch me in astonishment while i talk, listening intently.

and even though he doesn’t know what i'm talking about, he doesn't care. he likes seeing the ways my eyes light up when im talking about something i'm passionate about

he likes seeing my cheeky smile when i'm explaining the characters

"keep talking, i'm listening" he says and i go wide eyed

nobody has ever said that to me before.

i almost feel tears fill my eyes as i look down and let out a smile, this feeling is so unfamiliar.

---

i'm sitting in my room distancing myself from my boyfriend, my friends, everyone.

i miss regulus, which is exactly why im distancing myself

sounds stupid, but i'd feel bad bothering him by asking to hangout, so i'm in here instead.

i could hangout with sirius, remus and james... but i'm just not up to it right now

suddenly theres a knock on the door

i open it seeing regulus, letting out a sigh of relief and gesturing him in.

"hey, where've you been all day, i haven't seen you at all" he says and i feel the guilt wash over me

"i know i'm really sorry i just felt... bad" i say, sitting on my bed

"about what my love?" he asks, sitting next to me.

"no it's nothing it's fine" i say smiling and he shakes his head

"tell me" he speaks softly and i melt at the tone

"i don't know i just missed you but i didn't wanna bother you so i came here instead, i don't know it's stupid i'm sorry" i say, avoiding eye contact the whole time

"what? baby you could've just asked to hangout i was free all day" he says with a sad chuckle

"oh.. sorry" i mumble

he moves closer to me tucking my hair behind my ear

regulus was never usually a soft person, but something about me made him melt, he'd never admit that though.

something about how gentle and fragile i was made him feel the need to be the most loving person i could have

and he knew something had happened, the way i always apologized and second guessed my words, the way i was careful around him, the way i put him before myself

i didn't need to act that way around him though, but he didn't know how to tell me that, so instead he just decided to show me, as much as he could.

without saying anything, he pulled me into a loving hug, a hug i've never gotten before

i let myself melt into his warmth, feeling nothing but comfort in this moment.

---

me regulus were told to meet sirius, remus and james in the gryffindor common room, which isn't unusual considering we all hangout all the time.

we walk in to be met with uncomfortable tension and silence

"jesus who pissed us off" i say sarcastically and they stay quiet

"come on guys, what?" regulus says

"tell me y/n, how long have you been fucking my brother" sirius shouts and my eyes widen

"sirius-" i try to explain but he doesn't let me

"i mean really? my brother? that's low y/n" he says and i feel my chest tighten at the yelling

"and you!- one of my best friends? really??" sirius says, speaking to regulus now.

"sirius it's not like that" i say, still in my normal tone.

"like hell it is!" he argued

"you don''t understand- we're-" before finishing my sentence, sirius interrupts again

"you're what? in love? i don't care what you are, i care about you two not fucking telling me. i had to find out through some random ravenclaw! and to top it off it's my brother and my best friend, yet i wasn't the first to know??? unbelievable." he shouts

i don't even notice the way i'm shaking, the way it's become hard to breathe.

i feel so aware of everything, just not myself.

"sirius-" remus trys to interrupt to stop him

"sirius stop" regulus shouts

they continue yelling at eachother until sirius walks towards me

i tense my body, preparing for something i know all too well.

"i expected more from you y/n, i would've expected you to tell me about this shit" he argues, his voice still raised and his tone still bitter

"sirius- calm down" i say, not knowing what else to do

"calm down!?" he shouts, raising his hands in exasperation

his hands, his voice, his tone.

it was too familiar, so i did what i know

i used my hands to protect myself, covering my face.

i fucking flinched.

the room falls silent, not a single whisper, even from sirius.

still in my hiding position, i realize what i just did, how i just reacted, i know sirius would never hit me.

fuck, i messed up.

my hands lower from my face and i slowly turn my head towards sirius, scared to see his reaction

i look up at him, tears overflowing in my eyes

i see his softened expression, the look in his eyes, the way he immediately stopped

"did- did you think i was gonna.. hit you?" he hesitates, asking gently, softly.

i look around, seeing everyone looking at me

it's the look on regulus's face that makes me crack.

i look back at sirius and just scoff, running out of the common room and to my dorm.

i lock the door and absolutely break down sobbing, finding it hard to breathe.

i'm curled up on the floor, arms wrapped around my knees, hiding my face in them.

suddenly i feel hands on me, gasping at the sudden touch, i look up seeing regulus's soft gaze on me.

"hey, hey, it's me you're okay, i'm here love" he says wrapping me into a hug.

he pulls me on his lap and i wrap my legs around his waist, causing him to stand up and sit us down on my bed

(sorry if that didn't make sense)

i nuzzle my head into his neck as he rubs my back

"let it out love, i'm here." he says and i try to find the words to speak.

i pull away from the hug slightly and he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear

"i- he-" i try to explain but my words are being taken from me, like i'm being forbidded

"i know love, it's okay, i've got you."

my words being taken from me frustrates me even more, causing me to just lean into him and continue sobbing

he embraces me again, stroking my hair and whispering reassuring sweet nothings into my ear.

because of him, my sobs slowly turn into cries, and my cries slowly turn into sniffing and tears running down my face.

it was a start.

i pull away from our embrace again, scared to speak

i can't look at him, i know if i do i might break, so i keep my gaze shifted on my fingers, picking the skin off of them, a nervous habit.

he grabs my hands to stop me from picking them

"you don't have to say anything or just in general talk about it, not if you don't want to" he says and i sigh

"you have a right to know" i say shakily.

"can you look at me, please?" he asks and i hesitate

"i- i'm a mess" i sniffle, embarrassed.

his finger trails up to my chin, using it to tilt my head up.

the sight of my tear stained cheeks and red puffy nose breaks his heart

his eye contact, the look on his face, made me break, as i suspected

i tilt my head back down, letting out silent cries

"tu es en sécurité avec moi, je ne laisserai rien t'arriver" he says

even though i can't understand it, just the sound of his voice makes me feel better.

he uses his hands to cup my cheeks, making me look up again

he uses his thumb to wipe my tears

something that makes my heart swell, something i'm not used to

i watch him, no sign of disgust or shame on his face, just love, pure love.

"why?" i ask, him shifting his gaze back to my eyes.

"why what?" he replies

"why do you do this for me? why are you so nice to me?"

his heart shatters into a million pieces, expression softening even more

if that's even possible

"because i love you, and you deserve to be loved. i wish you could see that" he says

"i didn't and still don't wanna push you, but i notice things, i'm an observer. i notice your apologies and how you always seem scared around me, not scared of me, scared of yourself and what you might say, what i might do to you if you say the wrong thing" he starts to speak

i look down again as he continues to talk

"i just want you to know that i'd never do anything to hurt you, ever. you'll always be safe with me, no matter what you've heard before. i'd die before hurting you, and it breaks me to see you like this love" he says and another tear falls down my cheek

"i said it before, you have a right to know." i say with a shaky breath

"my last relationship.. it- it changed me. the guy i dated, he would use me and manipulate me and treated me more as his bitch then his girlfriend. he would- get really mad if i said or did something wrong, something he didn't like or something that embarrassed him. and sometimes when things got heated... he'd.. hit me and stuff.. and i knew it was wrong but it's what he made me think i deserved. so ever since then i've always felt like that's what i deserve, which is why i don't really know why you treat me the way you do, it's just very unfamiliar." i explain

he watches me, listening intently the whole time.

"i don't think i know what love is.." i mumble, ashamed.

"i didn't, for a long time. but eventually.. someone taught me."

he says and i look up at him confused

he smiles, rolling his eyes when i don't get the hint

"you, y/n, you taught me love." he says and my eyes widen

"me? i- i don't even know how to love someone i-" i start speaking but he stops me

"it's what you're doing, what you've been doing, you just never realized it. this whole time you've shown me love, it was unfamiliar because it was new. that unfamiliar feeling you've felt around me, it's love" he says

i take a second to think about his words.

thinking back to the feeling in my stomach when he'd talk to me, the way my heart fluttered when we'd hold hands, the way i longed for him when he wasn't around.

holy shit, i love regulus black.

"you- you're right" i say, realization clear in my tone

"i- i think i love you" i say, looking up at him

he smiles "i love you too darling, always have"

in that moment i knew i'd be alright, i knew i could give regulus my heart and trust him not to break it.

in that moment i knew, he taught me how to love.

TAGLIST:

@stargirlv0id @strniolo @annaisabookworm

[herbologyprofessor]

my collected thoughts on the magic system of harry potter and what I would change to make it better.

i think that the harry potter magic system sucks!!

i mean, im sure this isnt a hot take but like...how is it that students at hogwarts school of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY graduate knowing how to use maybe a handfull of spells in combat? and they're the same spells that all the aurors and all the older members of the order and all the death eaters and even voldemort use?

and im especially talking about how weak it makes people who are supposed to be really powerful and dangerous seem. including the titular character Harry Potter himself. Harry uses spells in a unique way, dont get me wrong, but to me its all just so boring.

and im not saying it doesnt have to work like other fantasy stories, but if the main mechanism behind magic in harry potter is that you are either born with it or not, you dont need a wand but its exponentially more challenging without one (unless you have a unique skillset or education), intention matters, and there are spells that can grant magical abilities to objects. there is so much more possibility than just expelliarmus and expecto patronum. There has to be, or else why tf would hogwarts take 7 years of schooling to graduate from?

so here are some of my headcanons:

families have bloodline abilities

so, in the case of wizarding britan, there are families that want to stay pure such as the sacred 28 (or is it 27 i cant remember), and pure as in their blood and bloodline must stay pure (going so far as to marry your cousins, e.g. Orion and Walburga Black). If this is the case, and they wan't to preserve their magical bloodline so bad, they'd have to have something more than just "magic" to preserve.

I feel like its almost there in canon but falls short of being fully realized. I think of it kinda like how it works in naruto. Theres those who have a bloodline ability and then those that dont. You dont have to have one to be powerful, if you have one it dosent mean you will be powerful automatically.

The black family seems to carry the gene for metamorphmagus, but i wouldnt consder this a bloodline ability and think of it more like a random mutation passed on to teddy, which could occur in any magical person, (theres also the possibility that this was a more common ability in the black family but because of the lack of genetic diversity and inbreeding it was lost until Andromeda had Remadora with Ted, who was not pureblood. I think abilities have to do with the energy of magic that is either created or inherited, not so much genetics. Therefore, families dont pass on the same exact ability but something that is novel or slightly different from person to person.

The Lupins, for example, could be Beast Speakers. Maybe, a long time ago in the Lupin familiy, they kept wolves or something (explaining the surname which would have had something to do with occupation) and they learned from them how to speak with animals?Lyall, who canonically worked in the Department for the Control and Regulation of Dark Creatures, can speak to dark creatures, even werewolves who are transformed. Remus can speak to domesticated animals like cats and dogs, fancy mice, toads, etc. Remus is like Hogwarts' unofficial vet tech, and if you like atyd Remus, this fits in nicely as he specialized in Care of Magical Creatures.

The Potters, canonically, are linked to the Peverell family. The invisibility cloak has been passed down through generations and is still being passed down to Harry's children. I think a common headcanon, and one that i truly love, is that they use Death Magic. But, thats assuming the potters are the exact same family as the Peverells, which they are not. I think, in going along with the Peverell brothers creating the deathly hallows (using advanced death magic), the potters have a Sorcerer's Craft ability. What was the Potter family's source of new money? Fleamont's invention, Sleekeazey's. I know its a "potion", but what if its just like...coconut oil imbued with magical enchantments that make your hair perfect. James could have played a major hand in the creation of the Marauder's Map, an Extremely powerful magical object made to do the impossible task of mapping Hogwarts. And he did this in school. at like 14-15. Harry doesn't do anything that has to do with magic item creation, that I can remember (i haven't read the books in years), however he also had no connection to his family and likely wouldn't be able to learn without another Potter teaching him. BUT! Harry Potter is the master of death, meaning he can use all 3 of the deathly hallows without being corrupted, maybe this could be a side effect of how his Sorcerer's Craft manifests itself.

side tangent, but the reason I think this is an ability even though others have been known to make magical objects, is because the potters are able to do it very creatively, and early on in their lives. They are involved in every aspect of item creation, and they can enchant things in a way no other wizard could replicate, meaning their objects could not be mass produced without their explicit involvement. Maybe Sleekeasy's stops working so well once Fleamont dies, hence why Hermione says its too much hassle to use every day.

The Blacks, you might think, would be something to do with offensive, powerful, and deadly magic. While, yes, this is something that some members of the black family are gifted in, it is not their bloodline ability. I think that the Blacks are Seers. It's no coincidence their families long standing tradition of astrological names are prophetical for their lives. Walburga Black, for example, has the power of Augery. She asks the universe questions and receives omens as answers. She saw a black dog when asking the universe to tell her about her newborn son, hence the name Sirius. For Regulus, well, she saw water. Not knowing what to make of it, she refused to let Regulus near it for his entire childhood. Regulus, as an empath, has the ability of psychometry. The ability to gain information from an object by touching it, including humans ( he cant read minds, but can tell what someone has experienced in their life). This comes in great handiness when he goes to destroy the locket. Sirius, I believe, would have a mastery over tarot cards or oracle cards. He can glean deadly accurate readings, and has a keen ability to interpret meanings unknown to even the most practiced tarot readers. He has a special deck, one that his uncle Alphard gave to him when he found out Sirius could read tarot from Walburga (who, at the time, was very pleased with her Heir's ability). This comes with an emotional expense to Sirius, though, and at times, gives him answers he doesnt want to hear. The girls loved it though, and asked him to teach them. He tried but couldn't explain how he did it, since it's innate to his bloodline. Of course, you could obviously imagine this adding to the piles of angst surrounding the war, as Sirius had to have seen signs that his loved ones would die, making him think he could outsmart fate by changing the secret keeper...

I think this is getting too long, but I'm already thinking about part 2 because I have alot of thoughts about this...especially things that anyone could learn not just inheritied abilities.

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

Hellooo how are you

Just out of curiosity and complete respect, why do you not like the fanon marauders?

hihi !! there's a lot of reasons tbh. here's a very very short tldr.

have you read, or heard of, the webtoon 'boyfriends'? if that webtoon was a massive fandom - it would be this one. the marauders fandom is fetish content, straight porn, has no personality. it's giving gacha life mini movie made in 2014. not joking. it's giving wattpad, it's giving y/n. wolfstar is bible and i am about to burn it.

sirius is a one-dimensional twink. he is stupid (if he's smart it HAS to be clarified he's still remus' bitch), overdramatic, a cry-baby, a sex slut, constantly bullied, short, and generally just number two. he's abused, sure, but it's nothing explored besides how it affects his relationship with remus.

i hate it. he's such such such an interesting character. i want to cry every time i think of him. he went through so much and he's reduced to something that can't even be called a caricature of him, but just a weird bitch. moreover, i literally cannot believe the ONLY thing that's the same is how much he suffers. literally every univgerse, bro can NOT catch a break. square up tt marauders fandom.

for remus ugh ugh ugh he turns into the one, 1, uno, i, thing he did not want to be. a werewolf. he is literally fenrir greyback. he's a sex-addicted, abusive, druggie!! he's fucking fight club!! he's mean and egoistical, that's not him. there is literally, literally, no reason to do this. he's reduced to your average bad boy, he has daddy issues. that's fucking pathetic, because the only reason it's thought necessary that he has them is because discrimination is invalid and parental abuse is the only thing the marauders fandom will take seriously. not when it is sirius, though, no because he's dumb and stupid and a cockslut.

and james? i cannot explain how much i despise jegulus. i cannot. i cant. james is a stupid himbo people pleaser with no self esteem . go the fuckk awayyyy im not even. im too tired to explain this.

and peter. i never rant about him. god. i hate his entire fanon character. he was left out, it's canon!! but he wasn't a loser!! he was well-liked, he was a marauder he was intelligent enough to become an animagus - in fanon it's all gone. he's so ............. side character. he doesnt have a personality. he's all the traits you kinda want your characters to have but it doesn't fit so you put them on peter instead. i just. i like him a lot. i hate how he's watered down by the fandom who claims that they 'love young peter'.

this is like a short ass response but uhh yeah. i tried to be nice but like the marauders fandom and fanon is. wow.

[adh-james-version]

this is a list of the ships I hate/don’t like and why-

Jegulily (james x regulus x lily): what the actually fuck is this… Lily would NEVERRRR date regulus. They just wouldn’t work so for that reason jegulily would NEVER WORK-

Moonseeker (Regulus x Remus): PLATONIC ONLY NEVER ROMANTIC- I can’t see them as any more than book besties. I can’t even imagine them kissing…js eww

Bartylus (Regulus x Barty): NO NO NO NO NO regulus is NOT dating Barty JUST. NO. js liek Remus and regulus they are STRICTYL besties. I can see it as liek they were each others first love and then endgame Rosekiller and Jegulus but bartylus is fuxking terrible.

Starbucks (Sirius x James): what. The. Fuck. just NOOOOOO if u liek this ship please block me. IMMEDIATELY. I will NOT explain this just no they are platonic soulmates NOTHING romantic

Party(Barty x Peter): please be so fuxking fr. Im so sorry but Barty would HATE Peter. A meek person who gets run over by his own friend group… Barty definitely sees Peter as WEAK. So ffffuckkkkk no. Barty could never date Peter

And last and most DEFINITELY least….

Sirius x Regulus: get. the. fuck. out. It’s incest. I will not give any more explanation.

argue with ya mama- better yet- argue with the wall.

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 45

chapter 68:

1. “Some of those ashes could be Marlene.” bro wtf

2. listing out the names of the people who died in war destroyed me

3. james reacting to his father’s death by flinching away from effie had me broken. i’m destroyed. unwell

4. “The worst part is, when he says what he does next, it's not even a question. "After that, you're leaving."

Sirius' eyes flutter shut, and he croaks, "Yeah, Reggie, I'm leaving again."”

SCREAMING CRYING SOBBING IM UNWELL I WILL NEVER BE OKAY AGAIN!!! I WILL NEVER BE FINE AGAIN

5. “”Sirius, I love you more than anything. You're the first person in this world I ever loved at all. Not Mother, not Father, not James; it was you.”” STILL SCREAMING STILL CRYING STILL SOBBING STILL UNWELL

6. okay just all of the stuff with the black brothers has me in tears. their bond is unbreakable and my heart is in fact very breakable. i’m shattered over them

7. dorcas hasn’t left that spot in over twenty four hours and boy am i worried for her. she needs water. she needs to go pee, i’m sure. she needs to eat something and to rest

8. “Just not afraid to die, then?

No, I'm rather used to it, actually.”

STILL SCREAMING OVER MARLENE!!! STILL SOBBING ACTUALLY

9. “"You. Even you," Dorcas declares harshly, glaring at her. "I'd rather it be you. Instead of her, I'd rather you be dead."”

WOAH! hold up!!! i love marlene as much as the next gal, but nobody goes after my girl lily. she fought and fought and fought as well. she deserved to make it to this side of war too! she tried to keep marlene alive too. hold your horses dorcas.

10. 😧 did you just shoot my lily??? MY LILY??? holy fucking shit. she’s insane.

11. “Some of that blood must have been Marlene's. Dorcas wishes she had bathed in it; Dorcas wants to turn back time and drown in it.” 😟 i’m worried

12. “Never, through any of this, did [James] imagine losing his dad.” kill me. it would be more merciful than making me live after reading that

13. “Monty loved Sirius like a father did; Sirius is allowed to mourn him as a son would.” calling my freind again while sobbing brb

14. god I don’t know how to explain it, but every time pandora is mentioned and she’s alive i let out a huge sigh of relief

15. AROACE PANDORA SUPREMACY

16. i’m so horridly upset that lily lost almost everyone. she lost her family, she lost sybil, she lost kingsley, and dorcas tried to shoot her, so i’m pretty sure she lost her too. lily tried to not love anybody because she was scared of losing them, and sure enough, she was right

17. i get upset when everyone talks about going separate ways. i want everyone to live in one big town and live right next door to each other. i’m thinking hogwarts vibes (except better, ya know) or maybe the mansion they all lived in at the start of ahb!

18. as much as it upsets me that sirius is going to be leaving james and effie and regulus, i’m genuinely so happy that sirius is going to stay with remus

19. oh. i see why sirius has to leave. it’s best for everyone to heal a little before sirius sees his james and regulus again. because otherwise they won’t be able to heal

20. i love wolfstar, and this is so emotional but like, “Just—for right now, what I need is to be with you. I want—that's what I want.” all that does is remind me of high school musical with the “ALL I WANNA DOOOO IS BEE WITH YOU! ONLY YOU! NO MATTER WHERE LIFE TAKES US, NOTHING CAN BREAK US APAAAART, YOU KNOW ITS TRUE, I JUST WANNA BE WITH YOUUUU”

21. ““I wish I did love him that way," Regulus confesses, "because it would have been easier than this. It would have been easier to define how losing him feels, but it's not. James, it's not."”

god, i ache for him. like so badly. i so badly want him to have barty back. more than any other character. (sorry to marlene and monty and sybil and literally everyone else who died)

22. “It's still been three days since the end of the war, and Regulus wonders when they'll stop measuring the passage of time that way.” 😟

23. “Doomed to be a great, big tragedy.” *eye twitch* i’m fine. *even bigger eye twitch*

24. look, i know in the future, everyone will be together again and as happy as they can ever be. but rn, i’m sad

chapter 69:

1. “"I don't care!" Aberforth shouts. "I don't give a damn about your fucked up love story with our sister's murderer, Albus! The fact that you even came to love him to begin with sickens me, let alone that you continued to after he killed Ariana, and still do to this day!"” hell yeah put him in his place

2. “The dead sister card is a little underhanded, admittedly, but Aberforth knows a thing or two about manipulation tactics. He'd have to. Albus is his older brother, after all.” LMAOOOOOO

3. lily mentioning children and sirius and remus just locking eyes and panicking was so fucking funny. bro i’m wheezing

4. BRO AND THEN REGULUS BEING LIKE “you’ve??? never thought about kids??????? wtf??? me and james are having four you little loser??????”

5. dorcas just marching in has me so fucking scared ngl

6. oh god, dorcas became the president coin in this. she wants to make a new hunger games. oh god. oh no

7. as horrifying as it was to see sirius’ train of thought, him being the first one to say no is so fucking satisfying oh my god

8. good for remus fucking standing up for lily. everyone is blaming lily, and finally remus speaks up that the blame cannot rest on lily alone

9. 😧😧 not albus suggesting the jegulus wedding to help with the aftermath. bro he’s fucking insane. it’s so hallow-like of him to suggest that oh my god

10. oh my god dorcas has gone insane, is she about to tell everyone how albus was in love with grindlewald. that’s fucking insane oh my god i can’t wait

11. oh my god it’s even better. it’s that he came up with the rule for the quarterly quell. oh my god this is gonna be great

12. 😧 holy shit. sirius just killed albus. imma be so real, i expected one person to not leave that table, and i thought it would be dorcas, not albus. i thought she would be killed

13. minerva asking lily to be a medic and help save albus, and lily just not will forever be iconic to me

14. as a punishment they banned sirius from the hallow 😭😭😭 babes they knew they had to come up with some punishment as like a way to show actions have consequences, but they chose one that sirius would love 😭😭 that’s so funny to me bro

15. alberforth finally leaving his home is a very satisfying character arch

16. “this story is, first and foremost, about siblings—primarily sirius and regulus ofc—like that is the whole point of this fic, the core of it over anything else. and that feels right considering the source material, like in thg, it was always about katniss' love for prim and how important that was over peeta or gale or anyone else. and i just. i really adore that, and hope i paid a good homage to that, because i really admire it.”

you did. you did pay homage to that. it was abundantly clear that this was about siblings. and i love you for it. thank you, if you see this

alrighty six more chapters to go! i’m in the home stretch yall

[futurewriter2000]

Needing You

A/N: I'm going to pull so much of personal experience from this that even I might cry at the end but I don't cry so I let's see how far I have healed. Not even gonna lie, this was harder to write than I thought. - It deleted itself in the middle of it so I had to REWRITE IT- but it turned out better than the first time.

REQUEST 15: "Optional("hey! I love your writing, so here's a request: could you do a shot about Remus X fem Slytherin who's James sister and they both have a secret relationship, and when he (James) finds out, Remus and the reader have a really strong fight when he says something like "he's my best friend, you're only an experience" (be free to change this) and they both broke up, and the reader doesn't even talk to james but rather just... isolates herself. nended however you like but IM BEGGING make it like really sad =)nHave a fantastic day! &lt;;3.")" #wattpad

XX

The sky was clear as day. It was the night and you had decided to finally swallow your anxiety and go out with your brother's friend. Your brother didn't mind. He just expected it to be a herbal gathering mission with his sister, when Remus told him about it. He didn't know the two of you were walking around the lake for three hours, holding hands because you almost slipped. Wishing you had planned that slip but you haven't. You put sneakers on in the winter- you haven't thought much with your head when it came to Remus. You just wanted to be next to him... and you were.

Your anxiety was piling up but you couldn't stop smiling. He was shaking, since he was only in a thin black T-shirt and a fancy coat that did not provide much warmth. You marveled at the stars and he pulled you close, showing you all the constallation you knew. You haven't been watching the stars. All the time, you kept thinking about kissing him- having your first kiss with your brother's friend, on whom you had a small crush when your brother was small. You completely forgot about Remus until a few weeks ago when you started to spend more time with your brother, as well as his friends.

The kiss happened on the bench. The lake was in front of you, the stars above and he simply leaned in, finally providing some warmth on his body.

This film has been replaying in your head for the past seven months. Every day, you rewatched it in your head, it seemed to be more magical. Every day when you saw him, touched him, kissing him- you fell in love deeper.

It was as if you were going insane just by loving him. You wanted him by your side all the time. It wasn't as if it wasn't difficult, seeing his friends forcing other girls on him when the two of you were sneaking around, knowing each other's bodies pretty well. You knew every scar, every mole, every inch of his body. You believed he knew yours as well.

Remus was a nerd. He pretended to be cool and collected but he just spent 20 minutes explaining medical propreties of three kind of herbs and how other wizards- Healers even can mix them up.

"What?" he said, quirking an eyebrow as you stayed quiet, smiling at him.

"What what?" you smiled brightly, your eyes glimmering with pure joy.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked.

"Like what?" you fixed your facial expression, hiding away the emotional depth you felt for this boy.

He stared at you for a moment and moved away from you. "Nothing." he said, starting to get dressed.

There it was. That awful feeling. That feeling of not knowing what he feels.

It always came to this. The two of you could talk forever into the night or into sex but never could the two of you talk about your feelings. You wanted to tell him. You did. You wanted to tell him that you were deeply obsessed with him. That you adored every single thing about his character and body- but there was a restrain. There was the familiar lump in your throat that blocked you from speaking any further.

He always had excuses. He was not good enough for you. He can't ruin his friendship with James... he's not looking for anything exclusive at the moment.

You moved to your pile of clothes and started to put on your underwear. I swear, your razor has never been so used in your entire life than in the past few months. You smiled at that and clicked your bra on.

He didn't even notice that your undergarments were matching. Something you felt as if your effort was for nothing, but you felt good when you did things like that. For him. To please him- do it for him... because you loved him.

"Hey..." he was by your side and you got startled a bit from your train of thoughts.

His eyes were lustful and his hands were possessive of your body. You smiled and wrapped your hands around his neck. "Hi." you said as his hand grabbed the hem of your underwear and let it go into a snap on your hip.

"This is really nice." he smiled, watching your breasts in your perky red bra.

"You like?"

"Haven't got a clear view before... but now that I do..." he said and tightened his grip around your waist. "You smell so good..." he continued, but this time it felt more as a growl than a whisper and he purged your lips with his.

It felt as if two universes were collapsing. That's how it felt, kissing the forbidden fruit for him and for you. Even though James presented a small obstacle in the way of your relationship, the whole secrecy seemed to be more exciting, causing more passionate interactions between the two of you the more you two continued this.

He backed you agains the bed... again but you laughed, pushing him away but holding onto his shirt collar. "We have to go, you know that."

He wailed like a small puppy. "I don't want to."

You pulled him into a kiss, just as passionate, just as strong and so hard to let go of it. "I-" you tried but he deepened it in that moment, causing you to heat up and back up on the bed as he crawled over you.

He raised himself up and tool a long look at you, just laying there as your foot found its way to his chest. He took a gentle hold of it and moved it onto his shoulder. "You're so beautiful."

And that was it. Small words, small gestures- you went for it all. Your love couldn't consume him all. It always wanted more.

These moments, your soul didn't care. It was happy, you were happy and you were glowing. Only your roommate was the one who knew about your secret and she didn't agree much with it. She said he didn't treat you as he should.

But you were happy and that was all that mattered.

"I love seeing you this happy but I'm so afraid that you'll get hurt." your roommate said as she made her way to your bed.

"He wouldn't hurt me. He said he would never hurt me."

"I don't know, (y/n)..." she continued but you only laughed and smiled. Something in your heart was so full of love that you couldn't keep it in. Even James thought there was something wrong when you hugged him more than you usually did.

He suspected something was going on with you but he had no clue what.

Or that's how you thought.

Remus came into the room and just as he closed the door, somebody pushed him against it. Defensively, he pushed the person away from him. "What the hell?!" he shouted and saw a pair of furius brown eyes staring at him. "James?!"

"Were you with my sister!?" he shouted, not as if he was asking, simply waiting for Remus to tell the truth he already knew. But how could he had found out. "Tell me!" he snapped, pushing Remus' shoulder. "Tell me that Peter didn't see you leaving Room of Requirements with my baby sister!"

Oh, that's how.

Remus shot his eyes at Peter, than back at James. His eyes let loose. He was tired... and ashamed. You and him talked many times about getting caught but he thought the two of you would end by now... but you didn't.

"It just happened mate."

"Fuck you, Moony!" he pushed him again. "Did the two of you kiss?!" he asked. "Were you her first kiss?!"

"Yeah, okay!" Remus lifted his hands in defense. He felt as if he was being interrogated by the Ministry at this poing.

James only stared at him for a minute, than turned around and ran his hands down his face. He mumbled something under his breath- something Remus couldn't hear.

He then turned around really carefully, trying to control the boiling blood that kept flooding into his brain. "I'm not even going to ask if the two of you shagged- I'm just going to tell you this." he said calmly, however, you could still hear the fury in his voice- the one he never used before, not once in all years of friendship. "You are going to my sister and you will tell her that it's over." he warned. "She doesn't need this Remus. What you have- she doesn't need this." he threw knives with his poisinous glare.

Remus couldn't even argue with him. He knew that this was the reason why James would never let the two of you be together. You didn't know... you didn't and it wasn't your fault but he started this mess, and he felt as if he owed it to James to finish it.

---

By now, you knew something was off. Whenever Remus seemed to stay away from you, you got a strong feeling in your stomach. The two of you could talk it out, always but this time, the feeling was extremely powerful and deep inside, you knew that it wasn't good.

So you avoided him too. You simply felt... afraid...

And James knew. He knew Remus hasn't spoken a word to you yet because you seemed to be cheery and all over the place. Jumping from one friend to the other.

'She seems so happy.' - he thought at first, seeing you talk to one of your friends from class. 'I'm glad he was her first everything... but she can't go through with this. She'd break.' He looked at Remus, who stared into the book, ignoring you completely.

James stood up and walked to him. "Go talk to her." he said, more of a warning than a suggestion. Remus looked up at his friend's eyes and saw the demand in his darkened look. "Now." he finished and walked away.

Remus watched his best friend walk away, Sirius hiding away in discomfort, meanwhile Peter was lost in his own world. He looked at you on the other side of the room and just as he did, your eyes met. His heart stepped a beat, not knowing that it matched yours on the other side.

He shuffled in his seat for a second or two but cleared his throat and walked up.

It didn't take a lot of convincing to let you come with him. You loved him. You would be by his side every second that counted, if it wasn't for the circumstances the two of you were in.

The sky wasn't like before. It wasn't clear as day but it was still just enough chilly. He was about to graduate soon and you will go into your last year. You haven't talked about it yet but maybe this will finally be the conversation that clears all that mess up

You thought.

He couldn't get himself to say it. Your eyes shimmered so brightly- even on a day like this. How could he do this?

"Umm..."

You smiled and took a hold of his hand. "It's me Remus. You can always talk to me."

He swallowed hard and flickered his eyes from your hands to your eyes.

And then it was cold.

"James found out about us... and for me, I think, it's best for us to end this now. " he said, not letting you interrupt him when you started to process information. "I think it's best that we end this." he continued quietly, removing his hand from yours and avoiding your eyes... but you only stared, not blinking once... only stared.

He tried to smile but it wasn't sincere. At least not in your eyes. "We had so much fun- (y/n) but-"

"No..." you spoke weakly, clearing your voice and not letting a single tear fall from your eyes. "You can't just break up over this. James can understand- so he knows."

"No, (y/n)... listen..." he started but you interrupted him before he could continue.

"Why do you want to end it? Finally, James knows-"

"James doesn't want us to be together." he started to get more harsh with you.

"Well, that's his problem, not ours." you snapped back.

"What do you mean it's not our problem?! He's my best friend!"

"And he's my brother- if he was a real friend, he'd be happy for you."

"If he's a real brother, he'd make us break up!"

"What does that even mean?!"

Remus threw his head back. He cannot tell you. Not this. He could tell you a lot of things but the why... that he couldn't tell you. "It means it's over." he stood up.

"Don't you walk away from me!" you shouted behind him and grabbed his arm, turning him away.

"What don't you understand!?" he shouted back, pointing at his head with his fingers. "We were never meant to be, (y/n). It was a ride but we get off now!" he pointed at the floor, steaming from all the fury.

'Why couldn't you just let him go?'

"Oh, it definitely was a ride!" you scoffed, crossing your arms as he narrowed his eyes at your sarcasm. "But you're going to let one James get in the way between this?!"

"Yes!"

"Is HE THAT IMPORTANT, HUH?! WHY DID YOU EVEN CHOOSE ME THEN?!"

"YES!" he screamed at this point. "He is MORE important than you. He is MORE than you will ever be to me!" He lost his temper, blubbering out everything he thought. "I didn't choose you! You were just there- JUST FUCKING THERE- at the right place at the right time- THAT'S WHY YOU AND ME WOULD NEVER WORK OUT. You were an OPPORTUNITY!" he shouted, letting his eyes darken and glare at you maliciously. "And I took it gracefully." he finished in a low growl, his eyes shimmering when all of a sudden you took a step back.

...

...it's that how it felt?

It was like a click in his brain. He was too harsh. He was- you're still James' little sister- he still... "Shit, (y/n)..."

You pulled your hand away from his touch as he tried to take a hold of it. Physically, it wasn't possible for your world to be shaking at the moment... but somehow it has and you couldn't see.

"It came out really wrong-"

And your heart could, in logic, not hurt phisically. Hertbreak is psychollogical but then why did suddently feel as if it had been ripped out of your chest. A hole... a deep dark hole in your chest, sucking every last bit of your soul into it.

"(y/n), please say something. You just stepped on a nerve and I got angry-"

Was the world always this silent? Were the voices around you always this muffled. You couldn't hear, you couldn't feel.

You took a hold of your cold arms and the cold didn't hurt. Your fingertips... as blue and swollen as they were, they didn't pain.

"Come on, let's get inside."

You wish, you could have ran away but your legs felt numb, so you wobbled as far away from him as you could. The first corner you turned to, the moment your legs collapsed and you slid into the floor.

'Was I really this stupid?'

'What just happened?"

'What will my roommate say- she'll mock me-'

'He probably feels so great now that he knows I was in love with him.'

'Why does it hurt so much?'

Random thoughts came through your head. One running over the other- one as random as what to wear tomorrow. But the air was cold and you felt as if you deserved to freeze in it.

The stupidity, naivety and the immense ego death- everything has destroyed you. They say words cannot hurt you but they can. If they say it right, if they say it in the truthful manner- in a manner intended to hurt you... you?

So you thought back to the night the two of you first kissed. He said, the right place at the right time... that's all you were to him. A girl, who was there for him to use. A girl, he had no feelings for, not close to what you felt for the past few months. He kissed you and touched you, he had seen you naked and it didn't mean anything to him. He meant everything to you.

You were stupid. You thought he loves you. You thought you were special when he kissed you. That he found you attractive, beatiful- as he had said but you were just a day given opportunity.

If there was a monster that day, there, he would have kissed it. Because it was just there. Not because it cared for him, because it was his brother's best friend and it had trusted him with itself- no because the monster was just there, by the lake, at the same time like him.

Nothing. You meant... nothing.

---

Grey... the colours were grey. Every single one of them was gray, different shades of it. You promised yourself, you wouldn't let anybody affect you but you couldn't help the feeling in your chest, this soul sucking hole causing your whole body to ache. It felt as if your heart wasn't even there. He ripped it out and destroyed it.

You barely woke up, but you had to... for school. You had to go to school. Not that you cared anymore. You simply just existed. It was as if you couldn't remember when you got out of bed and when you got back into it. Time flew by like it didn't exist at all.

You didn't even know when one week passed by. It just did and nothing much mattered. You sat behind your desk and wrote your Transfiguration paper. It was when you were almost done when he altered your brain and there was the big pain in your throat. You swallowed it, closed your eyes and felt them burn.

You have to finish this. - you thought.

So you did and you forced him away. As soon as you did, you went to the bathroom and washed yourself. Then simply crawled to bed at six pm. It was your ruitine since then. You took a journal, you wrote it down, realising you cannot write things down without crying, so you grabbed the pillow and pushed it to your chest. You squeezed it so tightly in the meaning to place it into the empty hole in your chest.

It didn't cover, so you cried anyway. You did. No matter how hard you tried, you cried.

You don't remember what you talked with your roommates. You plastered a smile and nodded but avoided pretty much everybody.

Everything was a no for you.

A walk? - No.

Hogsmeade? - No.

Dinner? - No.

Study group? - No.

Roommates were a nice distraction but it wasn't enough for the pain. Even when James sent you a note, you always replied with a no. It was automatic by now. You said you had to study or that you were tired. You needed time for yourself. You needed to find your self-worth again because for the past months, you let your happiness depend on one person and that person just took all that happiness away from you.

So what you needed? It was work and sleep.

---

James knew you were heartbroken. He knew he was the annoying sibling but he wasn't used to being annoyed by you. You had always kept your emotions to yourself. The two of you weren't close emotionally but you had your own share of fun together. When he asked Remus when everything started, it was just around the time your bond started to get better. The two of you would spend much time together and you weren't so stuck up or annoyed at any slight inconvinience.

He never saw that side of you. The one that was emotionally opened to him. He didn't know it was Remus the sole reason for that. You were happy, excited and... well, in love. But it was the wrong person. Remus has something that he didn't wish for you to deal with. You were always the rebel of the family. He was the golden child but you were your own person. You didn't talk back t your parents as he did but you did all the things that you wanted. You did everything you wanted. That was your own magic. You were a rebel but you were a kind and understanding person.

James is the tough one in the group. He is the leader, the great one... even in your own family, he is the golden one, the perfect one but you always understood him the way nobody else did. You saw him, behind all of that facade. He loved being around you. You were his safe place. You were... his sister. The sister who gave him all the unsolicited advice and was there for him when nobody else was.

He didn't see much of you and most of the time you ignored his letters and messages. The times he did catch up to you, you excused yourself to go study and he knew you were furius at him because at times, you'd snap at him, throwing harsh words at him.

He knew you were sad and heartbroken but he also knew you'd move on sooner rather than later. You were just dramatic. Women always are.

It was to his surprise when he walked into the classroom and saw you sitting at one of the tables, laughing and smiling with a Ravenclaw his age.

It was Newt's and you were one year behind- so there was no reason you should be there.

Remus was more surprised than James. If he was bound to find out, he couldn't do it now. The protocol was to sit down and take the exam. No talking, no turning around but nothing could make him focus without knowing the truth about your attendence at this exam.

He could hear the professor something whisper in your ear but he couldn't understand it. Maybe, the professor realised you weren't supposed to be there either.

But nothing happened. You mumbled back and you stayed.

It was up until the exam was over when he turned around to see your chair empty, your robe disappearing behind the door. He ran after you but James had already caught up.

The two of you were already arguing.

"What do you mean you're graduating early?" James bulged his eyes out.

Graduating early?- Remus thought. You? Why would you ever graduate early, you hated studying.

"Why not? I've already taken most of the exams and I passed. McGonagall said if I roll up my sleeves and grab the whole thing, I can do it but the chance is small. Yet, here I am." you smiled and that twinkle in your eye that was known to more people to be the twinkle of up to no good.

What were you up to?

"You can't. You don't have any recommendations- not- no." James couldn't piece it together.

"Yes. I'm graduating and I am moving to southern Europe and I am never stepping foot in England ever again."

"Southern Europe?!" James shouted in disbelief. "You're shitting me?"

"I'm not. I have a plan to leave. I always had."

"That was your fairy tale. To live in Italy or Greece or some shit." he started to laugh.

"To be away from here." you said angrly. "I hate it here. I always had."

"No." said James.

"Yes..." mumbled Remus but nobody heard him due to the loud arguing between siblings.

You always said about leaving when the two of you were together. The beach, the culture... you said you felt as if nobody supported you here. The rebel of the family. You confided into him about how you felt there was zero effort made to make something out of you. All attention was always on James and that made you rebel in your family. You didn't want to be like James but everybody forced you to be at least somewhat like him. You said, how people take you for granted, underrating your power.

I guess, this was you taking your power into control.

Before he knew it, you were storming one way and James the other but unlike last time. He chose to follow you.

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS!" he shouted behind you.

"Watch me." you turned around to see him then back around to turn a corner.

He caught up and took a hold of your hand but you snapped it away as soon as it touched you.

Of course, you wanted to see him. Of course, you wanted to talk to him, you craved him but you were furius beside all things. God, you could have screamed at him right now and hug him at the same time.

"You can't do this because you're angry at me. Don't take it on James." he started but you laughed.

"You think, I'm doing this for you?" you laughed, poking his chest with your finger. "I just grabbed the opportunity, Remus. I was just there, at the right place at the right time." you lowered your voice, quoting him.

"Come on- you don't know the whole background-"

"No, you know what Remus. I chose you. I fucking chose you to be my first. That means that I decided to trust you with my soul as well as my body and trusting people isn't easy for me." you continued. "I let you in- quite literally- but I thought we were something and you surely played the role to make me feel that way." you smiled forcefully, hiding away the feeling in your chest. You had no idea how a heart that is no longer there can still break.

"I really cared about you. I still do."

"You moved on, two weeks after us." you finally let him show a bit of your emotions. "Two fucking weeks and another girl was under your arm- God fuck, Remus. The hell is wrong with you."

"A lot..."

"Fuck you for playing the victim all the time." you pushed him hard. "Fuck you- fuck you- fuck you!" you continued to shout angrily. "I won't play the victim because I am not one. I'm moving on- away from fuckheads like you." you spat out. "Because you could have had somebody who would have loved you for everything that you are. You won't find anybody who will be prepared to love you as much as I was. Remember that, Remus Lupin. You won." you threw your hands up in defeat and walked away.

And it was one of those things that stick with you. It stuck with Remus because he didn't see you anywhere else anymore. Neither did James. He didn't know whether you were dead or alive. The graduation, they both looked for you but nowhere.

You disappeared from his life and it was until then when his life started to fall apart for him. You told me he could be whatever he wanted to be- even an auror. You supported him the way nobody else could and you accepted every flaw. He knew you would love him even more if he told you his secret but he thought.... he thought the two of you would stay friends. He thought, he had time with you. He thought he would appologise and the two of you would eventually talk.

He needed somebody. He needed somebody to talk to- always. Sirius was in Azkaban and James was dead. And all he could think about was needing you.

[aanoia]

Also also what about mine by Taylor swift with Remus?!?

It's out finally! I don't know why this was so hard to make lmfao.

Mine

Remus Lupin x reader words; 2226 (222 has been showing up EVERYWHERE and it's funny bc i found out my life path number is 11/2) song; Mine by T Swizzle (Taylor Swift) Warnings; death? idek gonna be working on requests for a while tonight by the way so expect more coming out! I just got my own henna cones bc im obsessed with henna i think it's so gorgeous (i would go to an actual henna artist to get it done bc i SUCK (for now) and we love supporting small businesses, but the only time there's one in my city is during the fair so i decided to buy my own) anywho have fun, LOVE YOU LOVING-AND-DREAMING &lt;3

Oh-oh, oh-oh

Oh-oh, oh-oh

You were in college working part time waitin' tables

Left a small town, never looked back

“Mr. Lupin, would you like to explain what is so interesting about Miss L/n, or may we continue with no distractions?” Professor McGonagall asked and I looked up from my paper as Sirius let out little laughs. Remus turned red as he smiled sheepishly at McGonagall.

“You may continue.” He said quietly and she nodded, smirking slightly.

“Thank you for your permission.” She said sarcastically and continued. Remus glanced at me again and I looked back down to my paper, pretending not to notice.

I was a flight risk with a fear of falling

Wonderin' why we bother with love if it never lasts

“Siriu-”

Sirius put his finger on my lips, silencing me as Remus tried to pull his friend away. “No, listen up, missy. I understand your parents suck at being married, mine do too, but that’s no reason to keep rejecting my poor best friend here when you’re obviously in love with him. You will go out with him, and you will have a good time. Understood?” He demanded and I nodded, flashing Remus a small smile.

I say, "Can you believe it?"

As we're lying on the couch

The moment, I can see it

Yes, yes, I can see it now

“I’m so glad you said yes.” Remus said softly, placing a gentle kiss on the top of my head.

I giggled quietly, “Yes, I am too, Rem.” I sighed happily as the fire quietly crackled, shaking my head slightly at the whole reason we were officially together. Damn Sirius.

Do you remember we were sitting there by the water?

You put your arm around me for the first time

My laughter echoed throughout the courtyard as I ran from Remus as quickly as I could. My legs burned and they involuntarily slowed, allowing Remus to catch up to me and wrap his arms around me in a big hug, swinging us side to side as we both laughed loudly.

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

You are the best thing that's ever been mine

I slapped my hand over my mouth, trying to quiet my breathing as we hid from the caretaker. I looked at Remus with wide eyes and he just grinned at me, proud he finally got me to break a rule and go out past curfew. I shook my head, thankful my hand was covering the small smile gracing my lips.

Flash forward, and we're taking on the world together

And there's a drawer of my things at your place

“I’m home!” Remus called out loudly and I snorted, walking out of the kitchen and leaning against the doorframe with my arms crossed.

“Just move in already.” I suggested and he smiled and shook his head.

“Sure.” He agreed and my eyes widened, my arms dropped to my sides as my back straightened out.

“Really?” He nodded with a smile and I laughed happily, throwing my arms around him in a big hug. “Finally.”

You learn my secrets, and you figure out why I'm guarded

You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes

“We are not your parents, Y/n.” Remus said, trying to grab ahold of my hand but I pulled away, tears stinging my eyes.

“You’re not, Rem, you obviously aren’t. But what if I am?” I whispered, a tear falling down my cheek.

He wiped the tear away and let his hand rest on my face, “What if you aren’t?” He challenged, kissing my forehead softly.

But we got bills to pay

We got nothing figured out

“No, only two. If we have three, one will feel left out.” I said and Remus shook his head.

“No, everything happens in trios. They’re much better than duos.”

\ “I don’t care. Two is better anyway, easier to take care of.”

“But thre-”

I glared at the man in front of me, “I don’t care. Two cats, that’s it.”

When it was hard to take

Yes, yes, this is what I thought about

“You got three, didn’t you?” I asked as I stood at the front door, already hearing the loud meowing from inside.

Remus smiled sheepishly and shrugged, “Perhaps.”

Do you remember we were sitting there by the water?

You put your arm around me for the first time

My hand flew to my mouth as waves crashed against the shore.

Remus knelt in front of me, a nervous smile on his face as James, Sirius, Lily, and the newest member of our family, Harry, stood around us. Sirius held tightly onto the big camera as he chanted yes.

“Remus- yes, oh my, yes!” I exclaimed, not giving him time to stand up and instead kneeled down to kiss him, forgetting about the ring as his back hit the sand, our laughter following as a loud click and flash filled our senses.

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

You are the best thing that's ever been mine

“Remember, no cake in my face.” I warned Remus as we were about to cut our wedding cake.

He smiled, “Of course.”

I winked to Sirius, who once again had a camera, and held in my laughs as the knife sunk into the cake. Instead of waiting for the piece to be fully cut, I grabbed a chunk of cake from the opposite side - the camera clicked and flashed - and smashed it into Remus’ face. He froze before wiping the cake from his eyes and looking at me with a familiar glint in his eyes.

“I’m gonna get you.”

Do you remember all the city lights on the water?

You saw me start to believe for the first time

The lights of the eiffel tower shined brightly onto the water as I watched with awe in my eyes. Remus looked at me fondly, love coursing through his veins as he gazed at his wife.

“You’re beautiful.” He whispered and I looked at him, a blush spilling over my cheeks. Truthfully, he was the beautiful one. The way the lights highlighted his face and sparkled in his honey brown eyes entranced me as I smiled.

“You’re beautiful, as well.” 

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Oh-oh, oh

Remus narrowed his eyes at the girl Sirius brought to Christmas dinner. Usually, it didn’t matter to him what anyone was wearing, as long as they liked it it was fine. But wearing something that's easily comparable to what a stripper would wear to a dinner where you were informed about children being present, was a little far.

“Remus.” I gently grabbed his hand. “I know you don’t like her, I don’t either, but please be civil.”

“What if we prank her?” He whispered back.

I snorted, but my smile dropped as I realized he was being serious, “No, what?”

He nodded, “Please?”

I hesitated before sighing, “Fine. Let’s do it.”

I quietly walked back from the bathroom and froze as I saw the prank had worked. Sirius’ new girl was screeching loudly as her skin turned green and warts popped up randomly. I looked Remus in the eye as he held in his laughter. I winked at him and he smiled proudly, we did it. The best part, by far, was the loud giggling of baby Harry as he watched the witch begin to cry angrily. I picked up the boy and laughed with him, gently tickling his sides only making his laughs harder.

And I remember that fight, 2:30 a.m

As everything was slipping right out of our hands

“No, goddamnit, Y/n, it’s my life!” Remus yelled and I shook my head.

“No, Remus, it’s our life! It became our life when you married me!” I yelled back louder, briefly glancing at the clock and internally wincing. 2:26 AM the clock read. 

“I want to be a teacher, what’s so bad about that?” 

I threw my hands up, “Do you listen to me, Remus? I’ve told you over and over it’s fucking Hogwarts! I love that place but these past few years it’s gotten dangerous! I won’t let you teach there.” I explained as tears stung at my eyes.

“I don’t care! You don’t get an opinion on this!”

I ran out crying, and you followed me out into the street

I pushed the door open roughly and ran to the street, the rain beating down on me as I sobbed and fell to my knees. The water collected on the rough cement soaked my pajama pants, only making me cry harder at the small inconvenience. 

Braced myself for the goodbye

'Cause that's all I've ever known

The door slammed open again and I shut my eyes tightly, preparing myself for the inevitable. My body shook, from the cold or the crying, I really didn't know. Probably both. I waited for him to ask for the rings back and leave me there on my own.

I opened my eyes and watched Remus’ figure get closer as I struggled to take the rings off.

“What are you doing?” He asked, fear in his voice.

“I already know you want them back.”

Then you took me by surprise

You said, "I'll never leave you alone"

To my surprise, he wrapped his arms around me tightly, swaying side to side slightly like he always did.

“Never.” He whispered.

You said, "I remember how we felt, sitting by the water

And every time I look at you, it's like the first time

“Y/n?” He asked above the rain.

“Yeah?”

“Do you remember when we were running around the courtyard because you were being a grumpy pants and wouldn’t hug me?”

I nodded and smiled fondly at the memory. “Yeah, and then you caught me by the lake and we almost fell in.” He pulled away and looked at me fondly.

I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter

She is the best thing that's ever been mine"

“That’s the moment I knew I was gonna marry you one day. That’s when I knew I loved you and never wanted to be away from you.”

I looked at him with a small smile, “Really?”

He nodded, “I swear on my beautiful wife.”

Hold on and make it last

Hold on, never turn back

I sat quietly on the train, reading my book as nostalgia filled my body. Remus sat next to me, his coat draped over his eyes so he could rest. I glanced at him and sighed, shaking my head and wondering how he convinced me to not only let him teach, but also have me co-teach Care of Magical Creatures with Hagrid.

“This is the only open compartment.” A voice said and I looked up from my book. My breath left my body as I saw a familiar boy walk through the compartment door, a boy and a girl following after him. 

The boy looked at me with a small smile. “I’m sorry. Is it alright if we sit in here? Everywhere else is full.” 

I nodded with a smile, “Of course.” He glanced at Remus’ sleeping figure and sat across from me.

“My names Harry Potter, and this is Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley. Are you a new professor?” Harry asked and my heart clenched.

“Yes, I am. Professor L/n, pleasure to meet you three, I’ll be co-teaching with Hagrid, I’m sure you know him. This lump next to me is my husband, also a new professor. Professor Lupin, unfortunately he’s exhausted so he’s simply napping.”

Harry nodded in understanding, “Is he our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher?”

“Yes, he is.”

(Hold on) you made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

(Hold on) you are the best thing that's ever been mine

“Well, well, well.” I said, leaning against the doorframe as I watched Remus and Sirius hug. Sirius pulled away and looked at me with a smirk. “If it isn’t Sirius Black, back from Azkaban.”

“I’m innocent, Y/n/n. I swea-”

I cut him off with a big hug, winking at Remus who smiled at me gratefully. “I know you are, Sirius. I know.”

Do you believe it?

We're gonna make it now

“If we di-”

“We won’t.” Remus persisted.

“Rem. If we die, just know how much I love you, alright? You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I’m so grateful to have you as my husband and my best friend.”

Remus sighed and nodded, “I love you too. But we won’t die, my love. We’ve got someone to live for.” I smiled as we both looked to our newborn son who gurgled quietly in his sleep.

“Yes, we have someone to live for.”

And I can see it (yeah, yeah)

I watched in horror as the group of Death Eater’s pointed their wands together. I grabbed Remus’ hand tightly as they muttered a powerful spell together, sending Remus and I flying back before the world went dark and Sirius’ voice filled my eyes.

“Finally.” He said.

“We’ve been waiting forever for you two to die.” A new voice said. James?

“You two gits, be quiet.” Lily. “Welcome home.”

I can see it now

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