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miss-oranje-disco-dancer · 4 months

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lips of an angel

pairing: married! leon x marriage counselor! reader

cw: infidelity, p in v, oral, over-usage of 'good girl', regret, leon is an asshole (like, he's really a dick), reader is also not a good person (so, hopefully it's ooc for u lol), not proofread enough

summary: leon is married to ashley (she deserves better) and he cheats on her with reader who is the marriage counselor

a/n: based on a reddit post lol. also, it's time for us to admit that lips of an angel is such a fucking good song and leon would listen to it. (imagining this is id! leon and that song came out around that time so actually it's perfect. anyway, bye)

wc: 2.7k

[edit] taglist

@rigorwhoring

@dilfprayers

@porcelainseashore

@dollita-fawn

@xoxoloveless

@admirxation

@pawrincss

@onlyasimp4-2dbitches

@pr3ttyd0llie

It starts like many horror stories do: with a knock at the door. He's tall, dark, and handsome, standing in the doorframe. Except not that dark, not very tall at all, but incredibly handsome and you've come to find over the sessions you've spent together that his looks are your weakness. His weakness is you. And many other women. Including his wife, who usually attends these sessions, but tonight, he comes alone. Maybe it's the rain that's beating down on the windows - thought it should sound like a warning - that makes you feel sympathetic enough to let him in when you know you shouldn't.

You let him sit on your couch, but make him hang up his leather jacket on the coat rack so he doesn't ruin the furniture. So you can see his biceps better. And his forearms when he rolls up the sleeves of his dress shirt. The first two buttons are already undone, but that's how he always dresses. You know this because you spend too much time looking at him. What does his wife wear? Skirts? Dresses? Pantsuits? She could wear a goddamn clown costume to every session and you'd be none the wiser because you're staring at her husband like he's a piece of meat.

"Not that I'm unhappy to see you, but why are you here?" you ask him. "Your appointment isn't until Wednesday."

"I'm having marriage troubles. I thought you might be able to help."

It's in the job title: marriage counselor.

"Where's Ashley?" It's a loaded question, and the gun is pointed at your entire fucking career.

"She couldn't come. Plus, I don't think she'd like to know about these problems I'm having."

You take a deep breath, contemplating absolutely nothing because you've already made your choice. You made your choice months ago when you had your first appointment with the Kennedys.

“Remember when I said I had a history of cheating?”

“I do. Has this become a problem again?”

“Not exactly,” he says with a slight chuckle that you later find is ironic in nature. “But I’ve been having thoughts…”

“Are these thoughts sexual?”

“Very.”

“Have you tried taking care of it yourself?” You make a hand gesture to signal ‘if you know what I mean’ and pray he knows what you mean so you don’t have to say the words ‘jerk off’ explicitly.

“Yes, but it hasn’t worked.” He looks directly into your eyes when he says it.

"Are these thoughts about a specific person?"

"Yes."

His answers, which are limited to only a few words at a time, make you feel like you're shaking up a magic 8 ball, and the blue goop reveals a die that has little to say beyond 'It is certain', 'My sources say no', and 'Try again later'.

“Is there a way you could distance yourself from this person so you don’t have any potential ‘slip ups’?” you ask.

“Sure, but I’d have to stop counseling if I did.”

“Excuse me, Mr. Kennedy-”

“Leon.”

“Right. Leon, I’m not trying to be presumptuous, but are you insinuating that these thoughts are about me?”

“That they are.” His smile gives you a golden star-shaped sticker for guessing correctly.

You give him a scowl. "I'll set you up with a new therapist, then."

“Let me ask you something,” he says, leaning forward, staring right into your soul. “Are you attracted to me too?”

“I’m not comfortable answering-”

“That’s not a ‘no’. Is it?”

You try to wipe the look of shock arousal off your face.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to admit it. I remember you asking a lot of questions about my sex life, especially the parts that don’t involve my wife, and getting visibly flustered when I answered them.”

“Of course I asked questions like that. I’m a therapist. It’s what I do. I’m sorry if you-”

You should ask him to leave, separate yourself before you explode in frustration. Getting defensive is not a healthy way to argue. You know this. You've told him this.

“If I remember correctly you asked me about how I touch myself, when I do it, if I watch anything.” He doesn't wait for a response from you, but it wouldn't have come anyway. “And, the whole time you were sitting there chewing on your pen, pretending not to imagine it. And then writing it down in a hurry, making sure you got down every little detail.” He taps on your pad of paper.

“Can I see this for a moment?” He snags it from the table beside you and flips through the pages. Without thinking, you leap forward and try to snatch it from him, falling into his lap.

The embarrassing part is when he lifts you off of him. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“It’s highly confidential!”

“Mr and Mrs. Kennedy,” he begins to read imitating your voice.

“Enough.” You use your sternest voice with him - which is far from stern.

“It says right here that Mr. Kennedy is 'a total dick’ but ‘totally fuckable’.”

“It does not!”

“You’re right. It doesn’t. But you were thinking it. Weren’t you?” He looks up with a smile on his face that’s both charming and cruel.

"I'm not playing whatever game you're trying to play with me right now, Leon."

It's the devil's edition of 20 questions, it seems.

He flips the pad closed, and says, “I’ll leave right now if you answer one question truthfully.”

“Fine," you huff, snatching the pad of paper and stashing it out of his reach.

“Did you go home and touch yourself while thinking about me?”

You shake your head vehemently. "No. Absolutely not."

“You couldn’t even make it home, huh? You did it right here, didn’t you?”

You don't have to answer - the look on your face gives it away.

“Was it on the couch? Right where I was sitting? Where I'm sitting right now."

“Fine. You win, you got it right. Are you happy now?” You concede because you want to end this conversation as quickly as possible, so you can go hide your face and die.

You want him to fuck you within an inch of your life and then you'll die happily. La petite mort? That's what they call it, right? You want that.

Leon just hums in response, giving you no insight into his thoughts. Though it doesn't take a therapist to guess that he's mentally fucking you. To your surprise, he slaps his hands on his thighs and stands up.

When he gets to the door, you say, “Wait-”

“What?” He asks, nonchalant to such a degree that one might believe the events of the previous few minutes never transpired at all.

“What are you doing?”

“Leaving. Like I said I would.”

“You’re just gonna leave? Do you get off on embarrassing people? Is that it?”

“No. I get off to you, and you know that." He's oddly defensive despite having the upper hand. "I also know that a large part of you despises me, but it’s because there’s a part of you that wants to fuck me.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

He shrugs. “You’re the therapist, not me.”

“I’m telling your wife.”

“You’re going to tattle on me?" He laughs. “That wouldn’t be very HIPAA-compliant of you, would it?”

“Why are you doing this?" It feels like a nightmare that you can't escape where a terrifying shadowy figure is chasing you while you're screaming out for help and no one's listening. Except, this is more horrific due to the fact that you like it. Your thoughts about the man in front of you are downright depraved. You are both the monster, mirrors of each other.

"I thought you wanted to fix your marriage," you say.

“My wife wants to fix our marriage. You and I both know it’s doomed. But you’re not allowed to say that, are you?”

You shouldn't be saying half the things you are right now, but it's too late to turn back now. You are the sunk cost. And the ship that was the concept of 'fixing Leon's marriage' has already sailed.

“You want the truth? I’ve known since the moment you opened your mouth that your marriage was done.”

“Then why did you keep having sessions? Was it for the money?” He pauses. “I doubt it. You’re a good therapist. You could get other clients. There was another reason. And, we both know what that reason is, but I won’t make you say it. I’m not that mean.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“And that’s what you like most about me.”

“It is not.”

“Then what is it?”

“Fuck you!”

“Do you want to? I wouldn’t be opposed.”

“Convince me.”

“Haven’t I already?”

“No.”

“Then why are you asking me to convince you instead of telling me to fuck off? You just want me to come up with a reason that doesn’t make you feel bad about doing it.”

“And there isn’t one.”

“No, there isn’t," he says with a bit of pity, knowing he's dragging you down into the second circle of Hell with him.

“You have to swear to tell your wife.”

“Is that a yes?”

He did not swear to tell his wife, but Leon is a cheater and a liar already. If he swore to tell his wife, you'd only be an idiot to believe him.

“Lock the door.”

He turns around and flicks the lock. “Done.”

You stand up and his mouth is on yours. He’s the best kisser. Silver-tongued, you should've known it. You can fucking taste it too. Metallic. No, that's blood. You bit his lip hard enough to draw blood.

You’re the one who starts undressing him first but he doesn’t make fun of you. He helps you out of your top instead.

“Goddamn you have perfect tits. It’s a shame you always keep ‘em hidden.”

“It’s a professional environment.”

“Yeah, it’s so professional that you fuck your clients in it.”

“I’ve never done this before.”

"Don't worry. You’re not the first therapist I’ve fucked. I’ll lead.” Leon lays you down on the couch - roughly, but cradling your head so you don’t knock it on anything.

You gasp. "Leon, the couch is damp from your wet clothes," you whine.

"I promise it'll be soaked by the time I leave."

Before you can open your mouth, he’s kissing down your chest, making his way to your panties. His tongue is good at more than just talking. He has you unraveling within minutes, moaning obscenely.

“As much as love your pretty moans, baby, we’ve gotta be quiet. Don’t want you to get fired.”

“I deserve it.”

“No, you don’t. You’re a good therapist, and a good girl.”

“You think I’m a good girl?”

“So good. And you taste amazing.” He places a kiss on your clit and you nearly cry, having forgotten the feeling of his tongue in the mere seconds you spent without it. “I want you to come in my mouth.” He sucks on your clit until you do.

Leon's lips are dark and puffy when they meet yours - the ones on your face. He asks, “How did you imagine us doing it?”.

“Mostly me on top of you.”

“It’s a good idea, isn’t it?” he says, placing featherlight kisses from your jaw down your neck.

You shake your head. “None of this is.”

“I know. You've got morals. You’re a good girl.” He pauses before whispering into the shell of your ear, “That’s why you deserve to have me however you want me.”

His right hand is busy holding you steady so he fingers you with his left. You watch as his wedding band slips in and out of your pussy along with his middle finger, giving a double fuck you to his wife with each movement.

He seems fascinated by the squelching sounds, no longer focused on getting his dick inside you. The heavy rain outside covers up some of the noise but not enough to save you the embarrassment.

"Jesus. Just fuck me already." You try desperately to avoid sounding desperate, praying he takes your irritation at face value.

But you're too obvious, you wear your sick, sick heart on your sleeve.

"You want my dick that bad and you haven't even seen it yet."

"I hope it's as big as your ego."

"No you don't. That'd be painful, medically concerning probably."

You want to laugh because he manages to be funny and charming as hell despite being an absolute dick, but that fact makes you hate him more. And the blood that courses through you has nowhere to go but south.

All the while, his fingers refuse to leave your aching center. "Leon," you whine, pushing his hand away, "you're gonna make me cum again."

"I know," he purrs. "I wanna make up for all the months you've spent here by yourself, with your fingers inside you instead of mine."

"I was pretending they were yours." There's no point in saving the confession anymore.

"I'm sure you were, but I've got somethin' better for you, baby."

And, abruptly, he removes his fingers. You watch him unbuckle his belt, and despite this being your fantasy, you look at him like he's betrayed you.

"What?" he says, coyly, "I thought you wanted this."

"I do, but I was about to cum, and you just took your fingers away. You're such an asshole!" You pout like a bratty child.

"Yeah, I know I am," he says - his words are muffled by the square packet he tears with his teeth. He slides on the rubber barrier before he picks you up and sits you down on his cock, disregarding the obscene noises you make as he shoves himself inside you all at once.

You're wet but there's a stretch. His dick is big, maybe not as big as his ego, but bigger than any you've taken before. This is how he gets away with it, you think.

"Fuck, you're tight," he groans. His hands have an iron grip on your hips. "You've gotta learn to loosen up and relax. You're too high strung. This is probably good for you."

It's not, you'll find when the orgasm wears off, but right now it feels really fucking good.

His thumb circles your clit while you bounce up and down, working well in tandem. Ironic, as you've made so little progress in your weekly sessions. As expected, the dual stimulation makes you slick with arousal, opening you up for him.

His voice sounds distant, droned out by your own moans which get even louder as his words get filthier. "Bet all your advice didn't work 'cause your brain was all fuzzy thinking about what my cock would feel like inside you. Or maybe you did it on purpose 'cause you wanted me all to yourself."

"No… n-no-" you say, voice trembling just as your thighs do.

"S'okay, baby. Girls with messy pussies like you can't help it. Just need to get some dick in you and then you can go back to being a good girl."

Can you? Maybe you can a 'good girl' in the bedroom, but a morally-upstanding woman? Even in your own eyes, he's corrupted you.

Still, you call out for him, "Leon," you cry, the singular syllable drawn out. You are lucky that the thunder from the storm is louder than your voice could ever be.

"I know," he says, "I'm close too."

The way your walls squeeze him when you cum drags his own orgasm from him.

You are oddly dissatisfied at the fact that he spills into the condom, not into you. It feels so impersonal. Because it is. It doesn't escape you that he didn't say your name - not even a pet name - just a simple 'fuck' when he came.

You point him in the direction of the trashcan where he can throw away the physical evidence of the mess you've made.

His pants are back on in a second while you remain naked on the couch.

"Where are you going?"

"Home," he says. "Ashley's making dinner. Don't wanna keep her waiting."

"You're gonna go home to her?" you say, more disappointed than surprised.

"Yeah. What did you think I was going to do?"

Truly, you weren't thinking. If you were, you would not have had sex with Leon.

"I'm surprised you're not happy. I'm gonna go spend some quality time with my wife. That was your advice - wasn't it?"

"Yeah, but-"

"But what? You're our marriage counselor. I'm just trying to fix my marriage."

"You're doing an awful job."

"I know," he says, with his hand on the doorknob. "See you on Wednesday."

#leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy smut #leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy

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thecosmosdefys · 1 year

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hi how u doin?♥ would u do general relationship hcs for ghost and könig pls?? :)<3

What dating Ghost & König would be like

Pairings: Ghost x GN ! Reader, König x GN ! Reader

Warnings: Violence, Cussing, Death

Synopsis: Just headcanons of how I would think Ghost or König would be in a relationship!

Author's Note: HIIII! Im doing good thank you so much for asking! Also I wasnt sure if you meant like? Ghost x König or like X reader headcanons so I went with what I thought you mightve meant? If this isn't what you wanted don't be afraid to put in another ask for my inbox!!! Also just want to note how excited I get when someone puts an ask in my inbox- I get so excited- It literally makes my day! Love you guys <333

Dating Ghost

I feel like if you dated ghost, at first he would seem a little cold around you? Like he wouldn't know what to do with emotional or physical intimacy. He doesn't give you the cold shoulder but he is so awkward at it at first.

Don't expect him to say I love you first, or even realises he loves you? Like before you guys start dating he is always around you, and picking to go on missions with you if your apart of the 114, but he doesn't seem to realize even though everyone around him does.

Once he starts getting comfortable with the relationship, he is like showing you off to everyone. You're like his prized trophy and he could not be happier. Like he's telling everyone all the time about you, and even your little accomplishments, god he loves you so much!

He will do things he doesn't want to do, if it means he gets to see a smile on your face? Like he hates christmas parties, but if you find yourself wanting to host one? He's already making a list of who's invited and what you might need. (He may even wear one of those ugly christmas sweaters for you but don't count on it.)

Physical intimacy? To him thats just even holding hands and it takes months for him to open up to you like that. But after he opens up, god hes all over you. In the mornings he's hugging you from behind. Never stops kissing you in public. He is disguting with his PDA, hes all over you all the time, and sometimes its cute and then other times your like "Simonnn stoppp" and he will... for 3 minuites-

He is so domestic when he is at home. If you need anything he is absolutely helping you. He will be your little apprentice when your cooking and everything. Sinks broken? He's fixing it. You are missing an ingredient for your food or baking stuff? He's on his way to the store to get it for you. You haven't been able to clean up the house? He's on his hands and knees scrubbing.

If you have a mental illness? He's helping in anyway he can. Even when he's away hes making sure your taking medicine if you're taking it, or reminding you about your therapist appointments. He is all over helping and doing his best to help make life easier for you even if just by a little bit.

Dating König

Literally what the fuck. He is the biggest god damn teddy bear you have ever seen. Out in public he is brooding and angry looking, but in private? He's on his knees doing anything you want him to do.

He is the biggest fan of soft touches. If you're out in public at the grocery store he's 100% rubbing his thumb over your knuckles, or just being sweet. He might brush your hair out of your face if it's in it or hindering your sight.

He will do your little routines and when I tell you it is hilarious to see this big beefy man, with a pink glittery face mask on his face, man its hilarious. When he's home he's doing your little haircare and facial care routines with you. He's oiling his hair, or putting face masks on, maybe even little cucumbers on his eyes. (of course you're taking pictures for blackmail.)

He remembers the little things about you. Sometimes when he comes back from missions he will have picked up something, or bought something that reminds him of you, or something you like. You had mentioned to him that you love forget-me-nots and you came home one day noy realizing he was home, and there was a bunch of pressed, perserved, forget-me-nots in a frame. (He ended up hugging you from behind and almost scaring you into dropping it a few seconds later but that's irrelevant)

He may not be super public about your relationship with him, but it is pretty obvious. When your out in public, he's behind you scaring the shit out of anyone who may bother you. You're his and he wants everyone to know that. Maybe you hang out with the crew one day and he has his arms slung around you, or wrapped around you in some way that screams "This is mine".

He may not actively always do things in the house, but he hovers around. He also loves to leave little things so that when he is gone you remember things that are important for you to do, he knows you have a bit of a bad memory.

Just like ghost, if you have a mental illness he is all for supporting and helping you. If you need someone to talk to he is holding you in his arms as you talk to him. He even makes sure your meds are always accessable to you, and helps in any way he can.

#könig #könig x reader #konig call of duty #konig headcanons #konig x reader #konig x you #könig modern warfare #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #ghost x reader #simon riley fluff #simon riley comfort #cod mw2 #ghost x gn reader #simon ghost riley x reader

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sourcherryandsprinkles · 10 months

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Naughty or nice? | Ethan Landry x Reader

Advent calendar day five: Friendsmas + gift giving

Summary: The whole group gathers at Sam and Tara's for Friendsmas. Left to yourself in the living room, you and Ethan

my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time

—

The night before everyone went home for the holidays, you all gathered at Sam and Tara’s apartment for a Friendsmas dinner. The place was lightly decorated in the spirits with only a small Christmas tree and twinkling lights you and Tara hung up a few weeks ago. It wasn’t much, but it was better than nothing.

‘’These gingerbread cookies are hilarious,’’ Sam complimented when she saw everyone’s caricature portraits in the box.

Some had been more of a challenge to make than others, but you managed to make them all somewhat ressemblant to each of your friends. You even made Tara’s a tiny bit smaller than the others.

‘’You even made Chad’s big head accurate,’’ Mindy pointed out, a mischievous grin spreading across her face as she bit the arm of her cookie.

Chad scowled at her as he attempted to take a bite, only to have the head break off and tumble to the floor, making Mindy burst into laughter.

‘’Even the cookie-you can’t keep it on its shoulder!’’

In true sibling behavior, Chad flipped his sister off.

Having dealt with them since they were kids, Sam chose to leave them to their bickering and returned to her cooking. The water was boiling anyway.

She searched the counter for the box of pastas, only to realize that she forgot to stop at the store after her appointment with her therapist this morning. ‘’Ugh, I forgot to get macaroni for the mac’n’cheese… Can someone go to the bodega down the street, they should have some pastas? Any will do.’’

Tara, eager to escape vegetable-cutting duty, volunteered. ‘’I can go!’’

‘’I’ll go with you!’’ Chad said, going after her. ‘’The streets are icy, I wouldn’t want you to fall and get hurt or something.’’

You and Mindy shared a look once he was out of sight, knowing that it was cheap just an excuse to be alone with Tara. Hopefully he’ll stop chickening and finally make a move on her.

Leaving Sam with Mindy to finish dinner, you joined Ethan who was sitting alone in the living room. He was watching something on his phone, his attention absorbed by the tiny screen, and didn’t hear you coming.

‘’What are you watching?’’ you asked over his shoulder, a playful smile on your face.

He jumped, his heart hammering in his chest. ‘’Shit, you scared me.’’

You giggled as you walked around the couch and sat beside him. ‘’What are you watching,’’ you repeated.

Ethan shrugged, turning off his phone. ‘’Nothing. Just dumb things on youtube.’’

You hummed, taking a candy cane from the bowl on the table and trapped it between your red-coated lips. The sweet peppermint aroma filled the air as you leaned slightly closer to Ethan. ‘’So…have you been naughty or nice this year?’’

Ethan choked on air. His eyes flicked away from your mouth, a faint blush coloring his cheeks. ‘’W-what?’’ he stammered, the unexpected question taking him by surprise.

You chuckled, removing the candy cane from your lips. ‘’Just curious, you know? Santa's making his list and checking it twice.’’

Still flustered, the boy managed a nervous laugh. ‘’I guess I’ve been mostly nice? We volunteered together at the cat shelter last month and I helped you for your art project, does that gives me brownie points?’’

‘’You’re cute.’’ You leaned in and ghosted your hand up Ethan’s arm, wishing there wasn’t a sweater covering his bicep. ‘’Since you’ve been so nice, should I give you your Christmas present now?’’

An immediate panic struck his face. ‘’Christmas present?! I didn’t know— I’ve got nothing to give you…’’

You shushed him with a finger over his lips and, with your other hand, you pulled aside the left side of your wrapped sweater, flashing him your matching red lace bra. The article was very sheer and left nothing to the imagination, which made Ethan’s eyes go wide.

‘’Holy shit.’’

Just then, the door creaked open as Tara and Chad returned, snow covering their shoulders and heads. Snapping out of your bubble, you quickly covered up and loudly greeted the two. Tara gave you a strange look, her cheeks red from the cold, then hopped over to the couch to tackle you with her cold self.

—

Scream taglist: @misfityanii @beautybyfire @iluvscream191 @mariposa555 @bella7866 @o638 @lulubelle14 @luvvtxinityy @frasersgf @Eddiefrickenmunson @jasperr-the-friendly-ghost @ghostf4cee @thesebitcheslovesosadotcom @wandaswigglywoos @xjennyx2 @jennasslut @thatonesblog @mikaelsonsstuff @icarly23 @tcddszn @bt.oliana @skyesthebomb @a1mzcruml3y @red1culous @iluurmom @popeheywardssecretgf @michaelangdonsslut @byhrxb @kamthecoolest @kattybug @ravenstrueluv @landryslxys @die4niyahhh @sl4sh3rfuck3r @radiant-whore @Meadzy21 @luci1fer @nomorespahgetti @bloodyhw @depthsofdespairr @bellysbeach @wilmalovegood @loupiotesworld @wenvierismycomfort @t-candy @s-al-em @darylscvmdumpster @tommysaxes @adaydreamaway08 @johannelis2302nely @aqshua @lynbubble @luiise @planetkt @vampyrgoff @adrluvh @mymultiveres @miqi-16 @not-liah @lovenats01 @doestalker @lonelywitchv2 @lausley336 @arinexeisnotworking @halforangecuts @l3ndryz @ilovelandry @your-platonic-gay-lover @danniackerman @angelxxrose @lottiefromsam @thecrowdedstreetin1944 @cinnamonbun222 @angelxxrose @lottiefromsam @zoeynicolas @thecrowdedstreetin1944 @cinnamonbun222 @pumkinnroses @cruzgrecia @sunnysunny133696 @aesthetixhoe

All and more taglist: @spiokybirdstarfish @kenqki @liidiaaag @hawkegfs @gillybear17 @areaderinlove @acornacreacure @black-rose-29 @fudge13 @cece05 @rosie-cameron @Caxddce @laylasbunbunny @gemofthenight @beautyb1ade @hi-bored-as-fcuk-rn @lovelyy-moonlight @mellabella101 @vxnity713 @marzipaanz @bisexualgirlsblog @queenofslytherin889 @thatbxtchesblog @softb-tterfly @ethanlandrycanbreakmyheart @xyzstar @graceberman3 @Heartsforneteyamsully @aerangi @hallecarey1 @bxbyyyjocelyn @mikeyspinkcup @jackierose902109 @daisydark @laurasdrey @mischieftom @fanatic4niall @peterholland04 @idkwhattonamethisblogs @grxnde-dwt @lexasaurs634 @teeeree13 @notasadgirlipromise @zoeynicolas @thejuleshypothesis @multi-fandom-bi-bitch @lexasaurs634 @teeeree13 @notasadgirlipromise @thejuleshypothesis@Shasta89 @sierraluvz @specialk6802 @CZARINERA @katherinejess

#ethan landry x reader #ethan landry #ethan landry imagine #scream #scream imagine #scream 6

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allaboutnayeli · 8 months

Text

could've been [i.engen x reader]

prompt: after all the regret, ingrid finally changes. too bad you aren't there to see it.

author notes: this is my sorry for making ingrid so toxic in part one, i swear she is ten times better in this one. hope y'all enjoy itt! look at the bottom of the fic for another surprise.

warnings: angst but not in a (part one) way, lots of mentions of regret, ingrid gets help finally, rejection, and more 🤗

masterlist to other two parts

PLEASE, ALLOW ME TO SHOW

YOU SOMETHING

MM, SOMEBODY GIVE ME, YEAH

SOMEBODY GIVE ME, UH

SOMEBODY TELL ME THE ANSWERS

ME AND YOU ISN'T THE ANSWER (UH)

ME AND YOU ISN'T (NO)

MAYBE I'M TELLIN' MYSELF THAT

BUT THERE AIN'T NOTHIN' THAT'LL

CHANGE THAT

WHAT GOOD WOULD IT BE IF I KNEW

HOW YOU FELT ABOUT ME? (YEAH)

healing, change, forgiveness takes time. especially when one is trying to forgive themselves for their actions.

ingrid's therapist told her this in her most recent appointment when she broke down; her tears and words trying to express the guilt that still hangs heavy in her heart. the way she sobs almost makes it seem like she's the victim in the situation. that she was the one played with and cursed at and left to overthink. ingrid knows this. she knows how fucked up it looks to cry after being the one to do all the hurting, but her therapist reminded her that this is one step on the road to being better. those genuine tears of guilt shows remorse. now actions and effort needs to be put behind them so that those tears aren't put to waste.

when the norwegian whispers out, "what if i have done this sooner? do you think she would have left?" her therapist just gives her a small shake of the head before explaining that the past is the past.

"y/n is not the answer to all your problems. she's not the solution, you are. she may have been your first motivation, but now it's time for yourself to be the motivation. you are doing this for the betterment of you," the woman who goes by the name ms. alcaraz says. the way one of her legs are crossed over the other reminds ingrid of how you use to sit whenever listening to ingrid's rambles about her favorite show. y'all's favorite show. she always found it a little funny how many thoughts and items and mannerisms led back to you in her mind.

ms. alcaraz snaps her fingers to get ingrid out of her head. another thing the norwegian needs to work on; less focusing on the past and more looking at the future. "understand? enough dwelling on how you treated her and more working on the problems that led you to those actions," the therapist says as ingrid nods. that makes complete sense even if almost makes her heart snap in half. all she wants to do is remember and dwell and regret over and over again until she runs herself ragged.

the rest of the session is spent figuring out ways for ingrid to finally stop focusing all her on energy on the non-existent forgiveness she wanted from you and how she can finally start to forgive herself. ms. alcaraz proposes for her to write a letter to you. an actual physical letter. not a text from her fake page or an call from a text now number, a physical letter that ingrid would be forbidden to send. the norwegian wants to tell ms. alcaraz no. that this won't help anything. that it will actually make things worst and how she just couldn't do that but then she remembered how many times "couldn't do it" slipped out of her mouth when she talked to you. how badly that impacted your relationship. the fear that was vocal in those words always annoyed you; and ingrid knew this every single time. she just couldn't bring herself to push past that fear and do it. so no, this time around she can do it. will do it. if not for her then for you. even if you won't ever see it and it will just be laying on her desk for days to come, she had to do this.

you deserve an apology, some type of effort even if the only thing left of you in barcelona is just memories.

all ingrid thought about after leaving the session was what to say. what words could express how deeply she regrets everything and how wrong she was? god she just didn't know.

it has been three months since ingrid made the choice to go to therapy and do something about all her issues. for such a long time after you left all ingrid did was cry herself to sleep on her couch every night and then act completely fine all day in front of her "boyfriend" and everyone else. it took one month in therapy for her to break things off with him; her therapist explained to her how leading him on into believing their relationship was worth anything was wrong and will only lead to pain. not just for him, but for her too since being with someone she didn't love wasn't good for her mental health.

it was month two when she finally sat and accepted that she was a lesbian. "i'm a lesbian and i don't understand what that means for me? i can't... i don't know how to.." ingrid said one day at a session as she picked at the skin near her nails. the appointment was actually supposed to be focused on ingrid's fear of being judged and her fear of people's opinions but her vocally proclaiming that she is infact a lesbian led to a different direction for that day. the first direction was worked on in the next appointment with it being a perfect follow up to helping ingrid with her identity crisis.

month three's word of the month was fear. ingrid hated month three. every single last session was focused on what she fears, why she fears it, and how to overcome that fear. she hated it so badly just because the ingrained reaction to fear in her mind is to run. to shut down and isolate or to lash out and explode. there was never a in-between, but now it had to be. that's what she needed if she ever wanted to get better. that's what she needed to make sure all her regret didn't go to waste.

back to that dreadful letter. ingrid went straight to her desk when she reached her apartment. looking around her bedroom for some paper and pen so she could write down the apology she has been wanting to say to you for ages. ingrid finds a paper and a pen in mere minutes, but as she sits down at her desk she stalls for a moment.

is this even worth it? what if this makes everything worse? what if she spirals and can't even figure out what to say? too many what ifs. too much uncertainty. ingrid hated this. she hated that she couldn't just do it. what is her fucking problem?

tears well up in her eyes as she looks at the blank page. her mind was nothing like it. her mind is messy and full and feels like it's going to slip out of her brain onto the floor.

this won't help.

this won't change anything.

this can't change the past.

ingrid won't change, she can't, she's unable to. she's going to be stuck being a horrible person who can't do anything right. someone who fucks up everything in their life. a failure. no wonder you left; she was a fucking mess.

the norwegian doesn't even notice how her tears are now dripping onto the paper. no, no, no. she has to stop. she can't, won't, refuses to give up. if not for herself than at least for you.

do this for you, ingrid. letting your panic blur your vision won't lead to anything good. breathe, just breathe. let it go.

just write and say whatever is what ingrid mentally says to herself as she picks up the pen and starts writing. her fingers are so shaky that the letters on the page are hardly readable, but the emotions are there. the regret, the sorrow, the pain.

ingrid's so sorry.

and she had to make sure you knew that; in spirit. not in actuality.

so she writes and writes and writes until her fingers feel numb.

dear y/n,

i don't know how to start this off or even what to say. you will never see this, but i want it to be perfect. i ruined everything because i was just so afraid. i was scared to find out how people would react if they knew about us and instead of telling you more about my thoughts, i pushed you away. not just pushed you away, i exploded and treated you like shit to make sure you didn't to be near me. at first when i first started to act out i thought you would leave, but you didn't. why didn't you leave? i will never understand it. i'm so grateful you didn't because the moments when i wasn't being a horrible girlfriend, yes i can freely say that we were together now, were the best moments of my life in all honesty. you didn't give up on us, i did. i'm the one who kept running away. who kept using others to make it seem like our relationship was nothing important. you should have left and taught me lesson. well i guess you finally did, but that was after i put you though months of emotional pain. i was an awful girlfriend who let my own personal issues ruin everything and i ruined you. i know i did. and i'm so sorry. i love you, y/n. i love you so much and i don't know how i will ever move on.

IT COULD'VE BEEN RIGHT, BUT

I WAS WRONG (UH)

ONLY THINK 'BOUT YOU WHEN

I'M ALONE (YEAH)

THE PART OF ME THAT CARED IS

ALMOST GONE

AND I KNOW THAT I CAN'T GET CAUGHT UP

WE COULD'VE BEEN

AND WE TRY TO PRETEND

EVERY NOW AND AGAIN

WE DON'T DREAM ABOUT, DON'T

THINK ABOUT WHAT

WE COULD'VE BEEN

THOUGH I'M HOLDING IT IN

'CAUSE I KNOW IN THE END

YOU DREAM ABOUT, I THINK ABOUT WHAT

WE COULD'VE BEEN

WE COULD'VE BEEN (DAMN)

WE COULD'VE (DAMN)

when you first left you were the only thing filling up ingrid's thoughts. from the moment she woke up, while getting ready for the day, at practice, on the way back home from practice, at matches, during press conferences, every single moment that she was awake she thought about you.

however after the first few months of therapy, slowly but surely you started to slip her thoughts. she started to get back into her hobbies and became more focused at games. you were slowly becoming a memory for her; that didn't mean the regret and pain wasn't still there. those emotions will always hang in the back of her mind even when she moves on. to the day ingrid is on her deathbed, the bullshit she pulled on you will always stay there; that pain will be taken to the grave.

ms. alcaraz has helped her learn how to live on with those emotions. instead of shutting down whenever ingrid felt like everything was too much she would write or meditate or do yoga. anything to clear her mind.

but there's nights where all the norwegian can do is lay in bed. scrolling down on your instagram. even looking at content posted by the san diego wave social media just to get a glimpse of you. when she saw how you and that mystery brunette has already moved in with eachother she wanted to scream. all of those hours of therapy helped her, they really have, but still the immense urge to just explode rests on her chest.

the urge to just blow up your phone with a text now number. the violent urge to just text you on instagram over and over again until you either answer or block her fake page. the burning urge to leave very specific hate comments under your posts about only things she would know shimmers inside of her. however those urges are never answered.

ingrid has changed. she isn't her past self and she can finally feel proud about it. however still she couldn't block your instagram. her scrolling time has gone down from the entire night to just two hours with the help of therapy, but two hours is two hours too much. ingrid knows this.

she still wants some type of connection to you even if it's just a one way street. she can't help it, so for now she will scroll until she either feels satisfied or like she wants to pull out her hair.

after all that the norwegian wonders to herself what went wrong between you two; she already knows that answer. it was her. it was all her fault, but still it's fun to wonder how it would have been if you two had stayed together. if ingrid wasn't scared out of her mind of public scunity. god she hates the what if's that cloud her mind after seeing you happy with your new girlfriend for the ninth time that week.

sometimes, even though her therapist warned her that it could slow down the work ingrid has been doing on herself, ingrid thinks about a different reality. where you and her had an actual happy relationship that was public. you two would be loved by the public. living a great life together and when you two retire y'all would decide to adopt a little girl. the norwegian is unsure of what name you two would have picked out, but it would be gorgeous just like you. that faraway dream always ends with you two living out the rest of y'all's retired days in norway in a quiet neighborhood.

what she would do for that to be true is something she doesn't want to think about. ingrid still hates herself sometimes for what happened, but slowly you are leaving her life fully; and surprisingly she's not even sad about it. actually she welcomes it. those months of therapy are working their magic on her.

REMEMBER?

REMEMBER THE NIGHT IN MIAMI?

FIRST TIME YOU PUT YOUR ARMS

AROUND ME

I'M UP REMINISCIN' (OOH, YEAH)

AND THINKING 'BOUT YOU ISN'T HELPING

THINKING 'BOUT YOU DOESN'T TELL ME

WHAT GOOD WOULD IT DO IF I

DECIDE TO FACE THE TRUTH

IT COULD'VE BEEN RIGHT, BUT I WAS WRONG

ONLY THINK 'BOUT YOU WHEN I'M ALONE

YOU ONLY HIT ME UP WHEN SHE'S NOT HOME

AND THAT'S WHY I CAN'T GET CAUGHT UP

WE COULD'VE BEEN

AND WE TRY TO PRETEND

EVERY NOW AND AGAIN

WE DON'T DREAM ABOUT, DON'T

THINK ABOUT WHAT

WE COULD'VE BEEN (OH YEAH)

THOUGH I'M HOLDING IT IN

'CAUSE I KNOW IN THE END

YOU DREAM ABOUT, I THINK ABOUT WHAT

WE COULD'VE, WE COULD'VE BEEN

WHAT WE COULD'VE BEEN, WE COULD'VE BEEN

ingrid doesn't know when, but sometime after she hit the sixth month of therapy she started to move on from you. something she never thought she would be doing, but she also didn't think you would ever leave either or that she would be in therapy these days so ingrid got used to the surprises that invaded her life.

slowly her heart started to wander towards someone else. a certain tattooed spaniard whose smile sends shivers down her spine; mapi.

ingrid doesn't know when the lines between friendship and love started to blur with mapi, but they did. the spainard was someone she went to when everything got too overwhelming and her therapist's hours were closed. clinging to mapi's waist as her head rests on the defender chest. "sometimes i just feel so stuck you know.. like all my progress wasn't worth it," the norwegian mumbles. mapi's hands rub soft circles on her lower back as she listens. taking in every word ingrid says. "you're never stuck, life always has to move on. just try your best every time, ingrid" she says softly. that's how it always was when mapi comforted ingrid and frankly, the norwegian loves it.

their friendship wasn't always that close. back when you left, ingrid had isolated herself socially. she would go to outings with the team and her little cover-up boyfriend, but she wasn't talking as much as she usually was or drinking or just being her usual self. then after the third month of therapy ms. alcaraz helped her understand that isolation doesn't help anything and that she needs a support system, so ingrid started to go back into being more social. it really did help along with all the therapy she was doing.

then she just started to gravitate towards mapi. it was something alluring and fun about the defender. and it was the same for mapi. she thought ingrid was gorgeous since the first day they met, but never got a chance to get close to her. with ingrid's attention on her, mapi finally found the opportunity to become friends. maybe even more.

only a few weeks of this closeness and it bled into something more. ingrid would be scared of how fast things are going usually, this is how you two's mess of a relationship started, but her therapist has told her to welcome new things. not to run away from the things she wants anymore.

she wants mapi.

ingrid refused to let this new situation stay the way it is. she wanted a relationship, not a messy situationship. since she was the problem in you two's relationship, ingrid decided to be the one to start off on the right foot in this new one.

"can i take you out?" the norwegian asks one day while mapi was cooking some dinner in ingrid's apartment while wearing her pajamas; yeah this had to become something official sooner rather than later. they're already in too deep.

mapi gives her a quick glance over her shoulder, a small smirk on her lips. she just shrugs as she goes back to cooking. "i would love that," mapi says. bringing the freshly cooked food still in the pan over to the table. "i have plates you know" ingrid says playfully as she smiles. mapi rolls her eyes playfully as she turns back to the counter to grab two forks from the drawer. "we don't need them, chica" the spaniard chuckles as she sits down at the table. scooting her chair closer to ingrid's until their legs touch.

the warmth of the first bite was just like the warmth ingrid has been on the receiving end of. mapi is warm like the sun; an overwhelming presence that fills any room it steps in. mapi is ingrid's star and hopefully her only star for the rest of their lives.

the week after is when they decide to go out. it's on a sunday which has officially become their day since the two footballers always hang out on that day especially. spending the whole day together while doing mundane things. however this one was extra special, because they were going out instead of staying in.

ingrid stands in front of the floor length mirror in her living room. checking out the blue silk dress she decided to wear with black heels to match. is too formal? ingrid thinks to herself. she isn't able to dwell more on the topic as a knock at the door interrupts her thoughts.

mapi.

a smile already reaches the norwegian's face as she walks over to her front door. opening it to see a nicely dressed mapi. the spainard put on a black dress, similar to ingrid's. "didn't think we would be matching, bonita," mapi chuckles as she takes in ingrid's look. she looks gorgeous. mapi gets a bit distracting as she checks out ingrid before looking back at the woman's face. "huh? sorry. you're just too beautiful right now," mapi smiles.

"oh? more than usual?" ingrid jokes as she gestures for mapi to come inside. closing the door behind them before walking over to her couch to grab her jacket and purse. "hm of course not. you always look amazing. i just couldn't stop my eyes from wandering, that's all," mapi says as she leans against the door. smiling once ingrid turns back around and smiles back at her.

"let's go, bonita" the spainard says as she grabs ingrid's hand. interlocking it with hers. then they leave out of the door. a burst of giggles leaving them both as ingrid almost trips over her heels.

the rest of the night is full of happiness like that. the two footballers go out for dinner firstly then some ice cream for dessert and a small walk around the streets to end it off.

ingrid smiles at mapi as they stand in front of mapi's car. their date is sadly coming to an end and spending the night together wasn't in the question; can't go too fast. "can i kiss you?" mapi says softly as their hands interlock, swinging slightly. "i don't know, can you, maria?" mapi just laughs at ingrid's words before pulling her into a short kiss.

after savoring the moment, the two pull away from each other. shy smiles sitting on both of their lips. ingrid pecks mapi's cheek before letting go of her hand and running off to go inside her apartment building. mapi just chuckles as she watches ingrid run into the building.

ingrid's still smiling once she gets inside of her apartment. she couldn't believe how well the date went. those fears of possibly fucking up another relationship fade away as she changes out of her dress. kicking off her heels that been hurting her feet since they had ice cream.

as she slips into the shower, darker emotions cloud her mind. why does she suddenly feel guilty? those burning feelings of regret claw at her conscience as the hot water hits her body.

does she deserve to move on? after all the hurt she caused you, did she deserve to be happy with someone else?

the norwegian thinks back on you two's first unofficial date. with you both being too shy to call it an actual date; just calling it a simple hangout. it was a festival happening around this time in barcelona so of course you had to bring ingrid out there. that night was full of laughter and fun with it ending with a sweet kiss done near the beach. ingrid sometimes wonder what would have happened if she would have just asked you to be her girlfriend right after that moment. if she would have let your situation turn into an actual relationship. if she would had gone public with you on her social media months into the situationship like she did with that cover-up. would things be different? would you have been here right now and this night of fun of mapi would have never existed? for some reason ingrid frowns just thinking about that possibility.

in the past, all she wanted was to go back and fix everything so you two could be together in the present. however, now after her date with mapi she didn't want that. would it really have been better? the teenage puppy love feelings that were coursing through her isn't the same as the feelings she felt with you. the fear of being known tainted whatever love that was between you two.

it doesn't matter anymore. let it go. ingrid thinks to herself as she shuts off the water before stepping out of the shower. she looks at herself in the mirror as she dries her hair. she's done. ingrid realizes she has finally done it.

she has fallen out of love with you. out of love with constantly feeling the regret and guilt. ingrid is over you and ready to move onto more things in her life. ones that don't involve overthinking constantly about what she's done to you.

ingrid has forgiven herself.

that was the night ingrid blocked your instagram and deleted your number.

WHAT WE COULD'VE BEEN, YEAH

WHAT WE COULD'VE BEEN

AYY

WHAT WE COULD'VE BEEN

WHAT WE SHOULD'VE BEEN

IF I WASN'T, IF I WASN'T WITH SOMEBODY

IF YOU GOTTA HIDE IT, WHAT'S

THE POINT OF TRYING?

I AIN'T JUST YOUR FRIEND, NO, WHAT'S

THE POINT OF LYING?

TRYA SELL A STORY AIN'T NOBODY BUYIN'

LOOK ME IN MY EYES, DON'T THAT FEEL NICE?

WHY SHOULD IT END? BABY I COULD'VE BEEN

I COULD'VE BEEN HIM, MORE

THAN YOUR FRIEND

JUST SAY WHERE AND WHEN, WHERE

TO MAKE A TRIP

BABY, MAKE A WISH, BE THE ONE I'M WITH

SHOULD'VE BEEN A, SHOULD'VE, COULD'VE,

WOULD HAVE BEEN, AYY

YEAH, I WOULD HAVE BEEN (DAMN)

YEAH, I WOULD HAVE BEEN (YEAH)

DAMN, DAMN (COULD'VE BEEN)

YEAH, WE COULD'VE BEEN (OH NO)

around four months later, after officially getting together with mapi, ingrid decides to face her biggest fear. the one that toppled you two's relationship.

she posts a photo of mapi kissing her on the cheek on her instagram. cutting off her phone the moment it's posted, she may not be scared of having a public lesbian relationship anymore but still she didn't want to look at the comments.

nearly a full year of therapy has changed her into a much better person and girlfriend. the teasing comments from her teammates about them not knowing she was into girls weren't as frightening as she thought they would be. the online discussion about the reveal of mapi and her relationship was more positive than she expected.

oh, it really was just the fear holding her back.

it has been months upon months since ingrid had last seen you and she was fine with keeping it that way. of course she knew eventually you two would see each other somewhere. the women's football world is only so big with most women footballers being around each other at the same events and campaigns. however she didn't think it would be so soon.

she had been invited to an event by puma for their new campaign with puma athletes. it was later on during the event when ingrid spots you. one moment she's eating peacefully on her pasta and the next she's looking up to see your eyes on her.

what..?

she doesn't remember you being a puma athlete. perhaps that partnership happened after she blocked your instagram. god, now all that pasta is about to come up out of her throat. ingrid wants to run and run until this night is just a distant memory, but she doesn't. because ingrid is a different woman now. she doesn't run away from her fears now, she faces them.

the eye contact between you two doesn't last long as you look away. ingrid's throat feels like it's collapsing in on itself as she stands up and heads towards the bathroom.

as the norwegian throws some water on her face before looking up in the mirror. you come into the bathroom, warily standing next to the door as you look at her. "i didn't expect to see you again," you say softly. ingrid gives you a glance before sighing. this was a chance to at least give you an apology.

"y/n, i'm so sorry. for everything. i ruined something that could have been great and i treated you horribly. you didn't deserve that.." ingrid says as she looks at her, trying to see your reaction. you stay silent as you gesture for her to continue. "i was so afraid and needed so much help. i'm sorry it took you being hurt enough to leave for me to get it. i been doing therapy for months now and i am a way better person now," ingrid gives you an apologetic smile, "just know it was all me. never you. everything that happened was never your fault, y/n."

silence fills up the room as she finishes talking. you just blankly stare at her. it unnerves her, but it's okay. she's ready to see whatever reaction you will give.

"i don't forgive you.." are the words that come out of your mouth. ingrid just nods; it's understandable after all she's done to you. "but i'm glad you got help. finally," you say. she can tell you are being genuine with your tone.

the two of you look at each other before you turn and leave the bathroom. ingrid leaves out a bit after. heading back to her table feeling lighter than before.

she didn't get forgiveness, but you acknowledged how much work she has done. that's all she needed.

author notes: LMAOO it took me so long to finish this, but it's done. so basically i made another version of this part where ingrid is a little less sane in the head and also i plan to make a part 3 focused on the reader. which will be the last part (unless i change my mind), so if y'all could vote on what y'all want me to post first please do.

#ingrid engen x reader #ingrid engen #woso x reader #woso fanfics #barcelona femeni #norwnt

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lastoneout · 24 days

Text

It's also like super fucking infuriating to see people continue to argue that generative AI is the best way for disabled and/or poor people to make art because like, you know what helps make art more accessible? Giving poor and disabled people money.

Like take me for instance, I'm disabled. I get severe migraines and intense leg/back pain if I sit at my computer for too long, my hEDS makes holding pens and pencils hard, my ADHD makes it hard for me to start certain tasks and/or stop them before I potentially hurt myself, my neck also hurts if I look down too much, my dyslexia AND my ADHD both make it difficult to keep track of a story as I write and use correct spelling and grammar, plus, I need to prioritize taking care of myself and going to appointments and keeping my house clean and that takes up a lot of my free time. All of these things make creating the kind of art I want to create difficult if not occasionally impossible.

So what do you think would solve my problems better? Giving me money so that I can have a drawing tablet and desk chair that won't hurt my neck or back, another tablet + pen and a lap table and comfortable body pillows for drawing in bed, easier transportation to my doctors appointments, effective treatment for my chronic pain and migraines, the ability hire someone to help me keep my house clean, a spelling/grammar checker that isn't complete ass, and a therapist and psychatrist who can help me manage my ADHD better?

Or an AI program that takes my input and spits out a drawing or story made of stolen content glued together that, in the case of the art, I cannot meaningfully edit without starting over, which also destroys the environment in the process?

Seems pretty obvious to me. I don't need AI, I need help to manage the things that are actually stopping me from being able to write and draw.

Or take my mom. She's had severe rhumatoid arthritis since she was a small child, her hands are deformed and she relies on her wheelchair to get around. She doesn't need AI to help her paint, she needs special paint brushes she can actually hold, a table her wheelchair will fit at, and someone to help her with personal hygiene/keep her house clean/take her to doctors appointments so she actually has free time to paint.

Does that poor kid growing up in public housing with parents who are too poor to afford art classes or supplies or to send them to college really need a computer program to draw for them, or do they need support to help them take those classes, buy drawing supplies, and money so they can go to college.

Blind people can paint, deaf musicians exist, people with missing limbs find all sorts of ways to make art, people with parkinson's paint with typewriters, my mother can't hold a normal paintbrush and she makes some of the most beautiful watercolor paintings I've ever seen, Van Gogh had bipolar disorder and only sold like one painting when he was alive, I mean for real how many different artists have you heard of who's biographies start with them being born into poverty?

This is not meant to be inspiration porn, these people are just ones who were able to find ways to make art despite their struggles. They shouldn't have had to struggle at all, but god imagine how many more artisrs and writers we could have had if none of them had to overcome those struggles. It breaks my heart to think of all the wonderful art that never got to exist because no one helped the people who could have made it actually have the time, money, support, and safety they needed to make it. AI would not have saved them because making art isn't the problem, being disadvantaged is the problem. Living in a world that refuses to make room for you is the problem. Being fucking poor is the problem. Humans have always found ways to make art despite huge barriers, the solution isn't a computer that makes art for them, it's SUPPORT AND MONEY SO THEY CAN OVERCOME THOSE BARRIERS AND MAKE THEIR OWN ART.

As a last example: I love watching dancing and I would love to be able to dance, but I'm terrible at it(I got kicked off a dance team for not being able to learn the dance at all despite spending weeks on it, idk my brain wasn't made for dancing) and my disabled body makes it more pain than pleasure if not actively dangerous, anyway. Having a robot dressed to look like me dance next to me while I get to watch would not make me feel like I'm getting to dance. It would actually be extremely fucking demoralizing and frustrating. I would hate that!!

Having an AI spit out a painting or book would not make me feel like I got to paint or write a book. It's a fucking anamatronic doll running on stolen ideas and it will never be the same as getting to actually expirience the joy of creating art first hand. AI is not the solution. Helping people who need it is the solution. And I am CONSTANTLY pissed to think about all the time and money that goes into these fucking AI programs that would be better spent helping disabled and poor people get the help they need so they can make art themselves, all while the people running the nightmare plagiarism pollution machines pretend that their horrible inventions exist to help people like me.

#anti-AI #actually disabled

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booppooo · 1 year

Note

ok so hear me out.. abby and/or ellie sexting or having phone sex?

Over The Phone.

Abby Anderson & Ellie Williams x Fem! Reader Headcannons

AN: ANON...I love you.

Warnings: sexting obvi, talk of nudes, crude language, text lingo?, modern AU ofc

Abby

Okay so the community has established that Abby is a personal trainer, paramedic, or physical therapist right?

I'm going with physical therapist - stick with me

Our girl is big and burly and so beautifully handsome

She's been helping a basketball player who recently busted her knee, and the athlete has been trying to put the moves on Abby

Abby isn't having it: "Hey, listen, I have a wife - you have to stop this. Our relationship is professional, nothing more."

And Abby is texting you about this on her break

Abby: I haven't been asked out in so long I almost didn't know what to say

You: I'm surprised more people don't ask you out, you're quite the catch

Abby: Oh, is that right?

You: Ofc it is...especially in bed ;)

Abby: Stop it, I'm at work.

You: Technically you're on break...

There's like a five minute pause and you thought maybe she had to rush off back to work. Oh, how you were wrong.

Abby: What would you do if I came home early?

You: What for?

Abby: To fuck you dumb? Why else?

You: Are you sexting me right now?!!

Abby: Yeah, go with it

You: Yes ma'am.

Abby: Goddamn - I could tear you apart right now

You: You know where I am baby, I'm always ready for you

Abby: Are you now? Show me.

Cue you sending some scrumptious nudes.

You: Are you sure you can't come home early? I want you so bad it hurts :(

Abby: I wish I could sweetheart. When I do get home I'll make up for it, trust me.

You: How you do plan to make it up? ;)

Abby: With seven inches of silicone

You: omg...go back to work

Ellie

We all know Ellie is a hard ass, she doesn't beat around the bush either

I think we've also decided she's a tattoo artist

And that's where it starts - you text her about an appointment to get another tat...but it quickly becomes more

You: *1 image attached* think you can do something like this on my arm?

Ellie: totally, when can you come in?

You: Anytime really, I don't have a time preference

Ellie: how's 12 sound? i'll get you smthin to eat too

You: You'd do that for meee?

Ellie: duh, gotta keep my fav girl fed

You: Ellie...are you flirting with me?

Ellie: no, if I were flirting with you, you could tell

You: Okay, prove it

Ellie: you'll see when you get here and there's only food for you

You: Uhhh you lost me

Ellie: why would I need anything to eat when I have you?

You: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT

Ellie: sure you can

You: Dude...

Ellie: *daddy

You: STOP IT

Ellie: you sure? you didn't come yet

You: This is getting ridiculous

Ellie: get your head out of the gutter i'm talking about showing up for the appt

You: Seriously?!

Ellie: no, just teasing you

Ellie: i will give you head tho

You: ELLIE.

#ellie williams x reader #ellie the last of us #ellie williams #ellie williams smut #ellie x you #abby anderson #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson fan fiction #abby x reader #abby anderson smut

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the-goldenbunny-diaries · 1 year

Text

Masseuse (M)

⚢ Pairing - Nayeon x Reader

✎ Word Count - 2.7k

☆ Genre - Smut

♡ Description - After being yelled at by your boss, you look for a source of release, deciding to make an appointment with a masseuse for a bit of stress relief. (A/N: This isn’t proofread so I apologize if there are typos.)

★・・・・・・★

"Really, Y/N! I can't believe you actually did that! Such a rookie mistake," Your boss shook his head, ridiculing you. You work at Sapphire Business Company, a division under Gem Industries. Sapphire works specifically with the customer support side of Gem. Unfortunately, you were caught up with her newest task: training a newbie, Tzuyu, who didn't know how to code a lost and replaced item properly. You were called into her boss's office because Tzuyu coded it as just a lost item that had not been replaced yet. So, returning to the present, your boss is yelling at you, blaming you for Tzuyu’s mistake.

"I really expected more from you. You've been working here for over 4 years now, Y/N. You should know better," He scorned. You tried your best to explain to him that it wasn't your fault, that it was your new coworker's mistake, but he wouldn't listen to you. You just had to sit back and listen to him blame you for something you didn't do.

"Y/N, you're now on probation starting now. You're not going to come into work tomorrow, nor for the rest of the week, and you're certainly not going to get paid for it either. Maybe you'll learn that you need to make sure everything is right before you send it in." You looked at your boss with an utterly shocked face, freezing in place. “You may leave now.” He spoke sternly before you politely bowed and walked out of his office. As soon as she left, however, you silently cursed him out.

“How could he blame me for something that Tzuyu did?” You thought to yourself. You felt a strange feeling coursing through your body, almost as if every muscle was tightening due to the stress that your boss just caused you. After a few minutes of this, it was almost painful to move due to how tight your muscles had become. It was an experience you’d never felt before and was certainly not one you would wish on your worst enemy.

You sighed as you finally sat down in your car, slightly relieving the pain in your body. "Shit, I've gotta fix this somehow. I’m not going to be able to do anything like this."

★・・・・・・★

Driving down the road seemed to calm you some, but even the soothing music couldn't help the tenseness inside your muscles. When you pulled up to a red light, you quickly grabbed your phone and looked up local massage places. The closest one with the highest reviews was Ciao Bella. You laughed at the name, which meant “Hello Beautiful” in Italian. Since the spa had the best reviews, you decided to give them a call. You rang the number as you continued to drive. After a few rings, a young female picked up.

"Hello. This is Ciao Bella Spa. This is Nayeon. How can I assist you today?" She said.

"Uhh, hi. I'm looking to schedule a massage for this afternoon." you almost stuttered. The voice that spoke to her over the phone was alluring and made her want to simply listen.

"Of course. Let me pull up the schedule for you." You heard some clicking before the woman spoke again. "Alright, so are you a first-time customer?" Nayeon asked.

"Y-yes." you almost died when she heard Nayeon’s little giggle over the phone.

"You're so cute. So, we have two massage therapists in today; one being myself and one being Sana. We're both pretty good, but I normally start with new clients." Nayeon explained.

"O-okay sure. What time are you a-available?" You asked, your voice continuing to fail you.

"I'm open anytime after 2." She said. You glanced down at my Apple watch and saw it was 1:47. You thought for a moment before speaking.

"Can I come in around 2:30? That gives me time to get from work over to you?" You responded, finally being able to speak without stuttering or pausing.

"Of course, I'll see you then---." Nayeon’s voice trailed off as if she was waiting for you to finish her sentence. You gasped as she totally forgot to give Nayeon her name.

"Oh my goodness. I am so sorry. I forgot to give you my name. I'm Y/L/N Y/F/N." she said.

"Alright, Y/N. You're in the books. I'll see you soon!" you smiled before you said goodbye and hung up. When you set your phone down, you looked in your rearview mirror and noticed that your cheeks were covered in a light pink hue.

"Why am I blushing," you asked yourself.

★・・・・・・★

You pulled up to Ciao Bella Spa a few minutes before you appointment, so you decided to go in a look around. As you entered the building, you immediately noticed that the whole spa was very modernized. You really liked the way it looked, and you instantly felt comfortable. As you slowly walked around, looking at all of the products laid out in the front of the store, a young woman walked around the corner and came up to you.

"You must be Y/N. I'm Nayeon." She smiled a gummy smile as she extended her hand out to you.

"Pleasure to meet you, Nayeon." You returned the smile and shook her hand.

Nayeon gestured to you to follow her over to the front counter. As she went around the back, she grabbed her a piece of paper and a clipboard. "If I could just have you fill this out for me real quick just so I can get a general idea of what you need." you nodded and sat down in one of the chairs in the main lobby. To sum up the form, it asked where her pain was, which right now was everywhere. You chuckled to yourself as uou filled it out and couldn't wait to see Nayeon's reaction.

Once you finished, you walked back up to the counter and gave the paper to Nayeon. She smiled before she skimmed over it. She gave you a funny look before she spoke.

"You hurt everywhere?" Nayeon laughed.

"Yup," you spoke, popping the P at the end. "Work stresses me out."

"Girl, same!" She smiled, and you both laughed. "Alright alright, let get you into the room and get you de-stressed." You followed her down a nice hallway and into a room with a sign above it that said: Venice. The room was extremely nice and was very calming. The lights were dimmed and there was a small water feature hanging on the far wall. Yiou looked around for a second before turning back to Nayeon.

"So, I'm going to leave you for a second. Just undress as much as you feel comfortable doing and hop on the table face up." Nayeon smiled before she left the room. You quickly took off her clothes until you was just in your underwear and climbed under the sheets on the table. She was surprised to feel that the table was warmed. You shifted around a few times until you were comfortable and closed you eyes. As you took a couple of deep breaths, you listened to the flowing water fountain. You was so relaxed that you almost dozed off until a knock on the door brought you back to Earth.

"You ready?" You heard Nayeon call from the other side of the door.

"Yes ma’am," you said as she opened the door.

"Y/N, I'm probably only a year or two older than you. You don't have to call me ma'am." She dimmed the lights further then walked over to the side of the table. She pulled out a couple of tools and oils before she sat in a rolling chair behind you.

"So, I want you to take a deep breath and close your eyes," Nayeon spoke in a very soothing tone. You did as she said as Nayeon started the massage. There’s two things you noticed immediately: 1) she was very good at what she does and 2) her hands were massive. You sighed as Nayeon’s fingers rubbed your temples, already relieving some of the tension. As she continued, she gave your head a massage, which caused a ton of chills to run down your body. Then, Nayeon moved to your upper body. She grabbed some of her massage oil, put it on her hands, and started to move them along your neck and shoulders. You internally laughed at the number of knots she felt Nayeon start to rub out. Her hands seemed to cover your entire shoulder and she continued massaging. As Nayeon finally rubbed out one of the bigger ones, you accidentally let out a sound that was similar to a moan.

You felt Nayeon pause for a moment before continuing to massage your neck. "You okay? Am I going too hard?" She asked you.

"N-no no, you're f-fine." You said, gripping the sheets underneath you and trying your best to keep in the sounds you desperately wanted to make as Nayeon continued to get the knots out of your neck. Everything she did just felt so pleasurable, especially with her massive hands, and sent shivers through your entire body. Nayeon must have been able to tell because, at that moment, your eyes went wide as you felt a pair of lips on her shoulder. At first, they were light pecks but soon turned into little kisses and nibbles. You couldn't hold back anymore and let out a moan. It wasn't loud, for you were trying to be quiet, but Nayeon definitely heard it.

"You like that, princess?" Nayeon spoke in a sultry tone, the pet name making everything hotter. All you could do was nod, for no words would come out of your mouth. Nayeon found your sweet spot, and you felt her smirk on her neck when she bit down on it, causing you to moan a little louder. "Shhhh." she cooed. "You've got to stay quiet."

You nodded again as you bit your lip, trying your best to hold back the sounds that fought to come out of your mouth. You watched as Nayeon got up from her chair and came around the table so that she was on your right side. Nayeon grabbed the sheet and folded it over so that your upper body was now exposed. You shivered as the cold air hit your skin, but that was quickly forgotten as Nayeon started to run her fingers across your chest. She started just below your collarbone and worked her way down towards your breasts. Heat instantly filled your cold body when her hands pinched your nipples, causing you to gasp. Your back arched into Nayeon’s touch as she continued to play around, teasing you like crazy.

At this point, you knew your underwear was soaked through. There was no way they weren't. If you was being honest with yourself, you was probably dripping onto the table. You tried to squeeze your thighs together to relieve some of the growing pressure between your legs. However, Nayeon wouldn't allow it. She removed one of her hands from your breast and use it to push your legs apart again, making you whine slightly.

"Patience is a virtue, baby girl." Nayeon husked. That alone turned you on even more. Your hands had not once moved from grasping the sheets, for you needed something to help with the building in your core. Continuing with what she started, Nayeon moved her hand back to your breast, making sure they were thoroughly massaged and your nipples were standing tall. Once they were, she slowly moved her hands south toward where you needed them most. However, she was going at a snail’s pace just to tease you more.

"N-Nayeon...." you moaned. "I--"

Nayeon just smirked as her hands reached the hem of your underwear. You quietly thanked the Lord above for not putting on granny panties. Nayeon grabbed the waistline, pulling them up slightly before letting it go, letting it snap against your skin. When a whine came out of your mouth, Nayeon ripped the rest of the sheet off your body, leaving you fully exposed, except for your underwear. Although, that didn't last long.

"Baby.... is this all for me?" She asked as she ran a long finger across your covered slit, feeling all your juices that soaked the fabric.

"Y-yes." you stuttered. "All for y-you."

Nayeon smiled smugly as she leaned down and grabbed your underwear with her teeth, pulling them down slowly, before discarding them to the side of the room and returning to her spot between your legs. You moaned just at the sight. The way Nayeon’s lustful eyes sparkled up at you almost had you cumming then and there. Her large bands started to caress your upper thighs and before long, you felt Nayeon’s tongue run a straight line up your now exposed slit, causing you to throw a hand over your mouth, muting a loud moan.

Nayeon expertly moved her tongue around in a figure-8 shape, causing you to lose your mind. You moved one of your hands from the sheet and laced it through Nayeon’s hair, pushing her head closer to your core. The pleasure got more intense, however, when her right hand moved from your thigh to your clit. If you weren’t already putty in this woman’s hands, you knew you were done for. As soon as Nayeon applied pressure, you had to bite down on your hand not to scream out Nayeon’s name. The amount of pleasure you were receiving was indescribable.

"P-please Nayeon" you whisper-yelled at her.

"You're not allowed to cum until I tell you, sweetheart. It'll be better in the end." Nayeon said as she continued to eat you out. You could almost feel the smirk against you as your back continued to arch and moans continued to spill out of your mouth.

"Play with your breasts, Y/N." She commanded before her fingers and her tongue switched places. You moved your left hand that had been white from gripping the sheet so hard to your left breast, kneading it as Nayeon had done before, although your hands were not as big as hers. Nayeon's tongue began to flick against your clit as her fingers started to poke and prod at your entrance, making you start to beg for her.

"N-Nayeon please." You never thought that you would stoop low enough to beg for something, but here you were and you didn't regret it. When you spoke, Nayeon slowly moved two long fingers into you, letting you get used to them before she started to pump them in and out. Once you got used to the speed, you started to move your hips in rhythm with Nayeon’s fingers. Within a couple of minutes, you could feel yourself getting closer to the edge, your core clenching around her fingers.

"I-I'm close, Nayeon." You moaned.

"Not yet." She smirked.

You whined as Nayeon pumped her long fingers quicker, making it a lot harder to hold in your impending orgasm.

"P-please Nayeon. I d-don't think I can h-hold it in anymore." You begged again.

"Cum for me, princess." You almost yelled as Nayeon said those words, finally feeling the release you'd been wanting. Your legs shook violently as your hips bucked against Nayeon’s fingers. She made sure she didn't let any of your cum go to waste, swallowing it all. Your whole body trembled as Nayeon started to slow down her fingers and her tongue, letting you come down from your high. You laid there panting as Nayeon grabbed the sheet again, laying it on top of you.

"How do you feel?" Nayeon asked you, a slight smirk visible on her face,

"Better. More relaxed." You breathed out, still out of breath from the mind-blowing orgasm that happened mere minutes ago.

"Glad I could help. I'll leave you to get dressed." Nayeon smiled as she left the room.

★・・・・・・★

As you went to get off the table, your legs gave out from underneath you, causing you to grab onto the table for stability. You quietly laughed at yourself. "She really did me good, didn't she?" As you get dressed, you glanced under the sheet Nayeon had placed on you and notice the dark spot where your cum had seeped onto the sheets. You’d have to apologize for the mess. As walked out of the room and went back into the main lobby, you saw Nayeon standing behind the counter with a bottle of water in her hand.

"Here, thought you might need this. Your throat might be dry from all that moaning." She whispered the last part, laughing as she saw the blush that crept onto your face.

"T-thanks. I’m sorry about the -uh- mess in there" you smiled shyly at her.

Nayeon smirked before opening the computer. "It’s no problem. I’ll keep them for your next visit.” You gasped while she just giggled and continued. “Speaking of which, when would you like to set up your next appointment?"

#kpopidol #kpop imagines #kpop gg #kpop #nayeon #twice nayeon #smut #twice smut #nayeon x reader #twice x reader #kpop smut

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gingergofastboatsmojito · 2 months

Text

Carmy Berzatto and his erotic transfer

All the things he says and some he doesn’t even dare to voice out, about the C person, are actually about Sydney.

The sublimation, emotional avoidance, denial, and projection are topics most of the fandom has already picked up on since S2 and all of us have talked about them often, obviously so did I:

Here

And here

Now, if we dig deeper, Carmy is what therapists usually call: a TRANSFER CLIENT.

Transference is a psychological mechanism that allows the person to direct feelings or desires related to an important figure in their life—such as a parent or a significant other—toward someone who is not that person.

*More about transference here.

It typically happens in the therapeutical context between therapist-client but it's not necessarily limited to that context as it can be very common in other scenarios, such as professional, educational, etc. Especially among those who tend to project. Like Carmy.

Let's recap, shall we?

“I know we’re not supposed to hang out until later” (after talking to Syd about silverware).

My favest: The kiss after Syd said: "Goodnight!"

“I have to call my GF” (right after hugging Syd for having passed the fire suppression test).

“She’s so great that scares the shit outta me” (while under the table with Syd).

“She’s peace” (I won’t even mention the panic attack at this point, which is what makes this literally illogical unless we frame it within a transfer context, which is exactly what Carmy's case would dictate to be done by a therapist IF HE WERE UNDER TREATMENT.) This would be sooooo easy if he just made an appointment with a therapist and a psychiatrist and saw them weekly. So easy! FML!

“Sorry” (after the Polka dot sauce to a person he never dared to call because the real person he wanted to say that to was the one he had JUST TALKED TO AND TURNED AROUND AND LEFT).

This is not just a projection, it’s full-on transfer, erotic transfer even, to be more specific. It is even more common in people with a history of abuse.

Source: Harvard LWW Journal.

Erotic transfer

As I mentioned above, this is quite common in a psychotherapeutic context. Interactions between therapist and patient are influenced by the feelings and impressions that develop during the therapeutic relationship. The terms transference and countertransference are used to describe this process. We have virtually a million papers on this particular topic, and all therapists know exactly how to deal with these cases and even use the countertransfer as a therapeutic tool. There are even lines of treatment based on transference and countertransference that have proven to help patients who experience this type of unconscious feelings toward their therapists.

There's a whole section in the code of conduct that determines the guidelines and limitations to deal with this and any other type of transference (there are multiple types) in a therapeutic environment, and all professionals have to comply with them at all times.

BUT

-This is gonna be a loooong question, fasten your seatbelts-

What happens when this is the case of a chef who is experiencing a sexualized transference in which he is unconsciously transferring his sexual fantasies about his business partner, containing elements that are primarily reverential, romantic, intimate, sensual, or sexual not toward his therapist but towards an Emergency Dr. who was his frustrated high school crush, whom obviously he has idealized because back then he couldn't even talk to her and just sketched her away in his notebook

And who has idealized him right back as well, because the crush was mutual.

Not to mention someone who is not avoidant, she's maybe even too forward:

Someone who goes after what she wants and just doesn't give a rat's ass about saying things like:

"Never apologize"

"No one is keeping score of dropped shoes"

"I love you"

there.

Then what?

Well:

And of course:

He ended up not choosing Claire this time around either, sure! But the transference remains as his undealt feelings of guilt and emotional avoidance are still part of the equation, and until those are fully elaborated consciously and he makes a conscious decision as to how to move forward, he will continue being stuck in this situation and transferring, projecting and sublimating his true desires onto a more attenable and convenient canvas:

How do erotic transferences end?

The only way is to put it on the table (absolutely no pun intended even though I am convinced this is gonna happen → THE ULTIMATE SYDCARMY TABLE SCENE).

On a more serious note, the only correct way to put an end to any type of transference in a therapeutic environment, in case that's the chosen course of action, is to put all the cards on the table and elaborate on the motivations, till the REAL MOTIVATIONS come up, as they never do at first.

The client has to realize ON THEIR OWN that their transferred feelings are nothing but representations of their inner feelings and are not occurring as a result of their relationship with the therapist but rather as an unconscious mechanism that enables them NOT TO DEAL with a subjacent CONFLICT that is being AVOIDED, once that conclusion is reached, the next step is to work on the reasons why that conflict is being avoided and what does the patient want to do about it. Do they wish to continue avoiding it? Why? What would be the implications of that status quo? Are they willing to deal with them? Is it wise? Is it just simpler? What if the opposite choice is made? Why would that be the case? What would be the implications of that? What can be gained and lost in the process or in the aftermath of it? In any case: What is required to go through with any of these potential courses of action? Does the patient currently have what is required? If that's not the case: Why not? Could they get it? How? Why wasn't that done before? Why now? Etc... The therapist has to become less of a “blank screen” and more interactive with the patient. There has to be a back-and-forth. It's a whole process.

That process is incredibly difficult in Carmy's case because the C person is not his therapist, doesn't have to or wants to follow a code of conduct, wouldn't know how to go about this whole process even if she did, and most importantly: Is in love with him.

Are we screwed?

No.

How come?

Because thank dog there's a Chaos menu on the table.

Can we just focus on the CHAOS MENU, PLEASE!?!?!

The chaos that constantly haunts Carmy is → THE MENU. Not the "peace".

And the menu is his link to Sydney and all she represents for him.

I have been saying this since before S3, and S3 has only confirmed my assumptions → Their menu is their red string.

They will have to at some point have a real conversation about the menu, not just a quick exchange of feedback about the daily rotation in between services.

The chaos will fall into place at some point so they can keep the restaurant open, win a star, etc.

Also, the conversation/closure with the C person will have to happen at some point too, next season.

So the cards will have to be put on the table, sooner or later.

Later is what the song foreshadowed and in Save it for later I trust (prefer Vedder's version).

Bonus track: THE SYDLUCA TRAP. Syd is following the same path. Mirroring Carmy. She's in the process to start sexually transferring her undealt-with sexual desires for Carmy to Luca.

Whilst I fully support this as a temporary fix and a plot device that can give us a few pretty interesting eps where Carmy becomes a jelly bomb and therefore is forced to stop denying what he truly feels for Syd, as I explained here, I can't support this behavior in the long run because as any transfer, it is UNHEALTHY for all parties involved. Sydluca is a plot device that needs to be handled with care because it can very well end up becoming a comfort zone that is nothing but a trap that will only serve one purpose: "compensation". That which cannot be experienced with whom she truly wants to experience it will be experienced with a substitute figure, and eventually, no matter how well this replacement goes, the constant ghost of: "What if" will haunt her because she has already gotten to this point with Carmy:

So now it's too late to compensate healthily and just move on. It would bring nothing but heartache in the long run. If Luca had come along sooner into Syd's life, the story would be very different. Same with C. But TIMING MATTERS. If I know this, I'm pretty sure Storer and Calo know it too, so I choose not to be worried about it.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

#sydcarmy #the bear #carmy berzatto #sydney adamu #carmy x sydney #the bear season 3 #the bear season 4 gingerpredictions #gingerpovs #the bear meta #sydcarmy meta #the bear fx #carmen berzatto #sydney x carmy #claire who?#the bear hulu #syd x carmen

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suguru-getos · 10 months

Text

| Aftermath | Keigo Takami x f!TherapistReader |

-> chapter one

summary: hawks who has just lost his quirk in the war & coping with his life as a quirkless man, decides to finally listen to his own self & seek therapy. why did he choose a quirkless therapist? maybe to seek solidarity— or maybe, he hoped you’d not judge him.

warnings: therapy, childhood!trauma, bnha!spoilers, mentions of inner child healing, keigo talks about his childhood, mentions of toxic!parenting, cocky!kei as always.

a/n: don't mind me giving my comfort character and my loml some healing lmaooo <33 i had sm fun writing this istg it made my heart warm. this is a slow burn fic, and the reader is a self-insert on some points because i can get self indulgent tehee!!

You wandered aimlessly, looking around the suite-like cabin and then down the skyline. Tokyo was always beautiful, even now when winters had just started to greet. There was a foggy blanket of clouds covering the labyrinth of buildings and you could never get over it. With your next client, it was obvious your thoughts were along the lines of… an Angel flying out in the skies keeping everyone safe, now reduced to someone without wings. Still an Angel though, but that's what you think. Maybe he doesn't.

You grimly sighed when your eyes wandered at the clock, there were still 30 minutes to your appointment, normally… someone like you would never get the opportunity to deal with heroes so popular. Hawks was a no show after the war, people thought he had died. People thought he left Japan for good. Though a faint glimmer of hope always made you want to believe he's still around. To your surprise when he was your client, you felt a knot on your stomach churn with anticipation and excitement.

You sat on your velvety chair, the lights dim and comfortable to the modernized architecture of your office. You gulped, opening his file and looking at the passport photograph of him. The scar he got in one of the fights in which a villain named Dabi publicized his kill was there, siren eyes staring into your very soul were there. How could you even try to open up someone who looks so ethereal and so threatening at the same time. You feel just as nervous as your first time, the personality that Hawks carries eating away at you slowly. You shook your head, jerking the thoughts away. Be professional, he is a client and you're doing your job.

If you hadn't been so dazed by your favorite hero and your crush; you were quite a number yourself. Cut-throat, not afraid to walk the talk, stern, fierce, kind and disciplined. People respect you and you command it when they don't. Not afraid to force someone to bend the knee if they indulge in animosity with you. It's just… Hawks was someone you admired oh-so-much! You had his merch and posters after all. Not that he would get to know that, oh no. That'd never happen.

Takami Keigo, 26, Born on December 28th. Blood group B+, MBTI-> ENTP, Schooling and training and everything was blank. Difficult, this would be a difficult case to deal with.

How did you fangirl over him? Well, that's perhaps for another day.

"Excuse me, Ma'am. He's here." Your assistant opened the door with a knock and you felt your stomach sink, biting your lip nervously and clearing your throat to gain composure.

"Hey there doc!" there he was, with his magical grin and long palms raised up to his eye level as he waved. Wearing denims and a loose fitted white T-Shirt. Casual, cute, confident.

"Oh hello Hawks!" You manifested the same energy, greeting him respectfully by standing up and bowing a little. "Jeez, can't get rid of the name yet huh?" He chuckles, though your mind has already starting to process if it was a fake one, the carefully crafted hero chuckle or was he genuinely this chill.

"I don't think so, whether or not you do hero work, you own the name." you responded with a smile, ushering him to take his seat. Oh he manspreads, leaning back and getting comfortable. Makes you wonder if he can see through the cracks of your personality just as you're trying to see in his. Who will unfold who first…

You closed the client book you had, looking into the beautiful goldens of his eyes and making eye contact. "So, I know the first session is usually the most awkward one. People try to get to know their shrink before letting themselves to open up." You glanced, and Hawks looked like he would devour you whole. He looked invested in your words, not in a faking concentration way… in a 'I will listen to what you have to say' way.

"Allow me to share some stuff about myself then, my name is Y/N. I am a therapist good morning. Apart from that, I like to participate in various hobbies like kickboxing, journalling, playing games, spending time with my cat, yada yada. I am an INTJ, I think MBTI has started taking the same wavelength in Japan as Korea huh? Everyone's obsessed with em' I think."

"Well" Hawks clicked his tongue, clearly unamused by your introduction, it was brief and curt. Not a fair deal for someone who will unravel him… then again, you are his therapist, not vice versa.

"I think so too, do you know, a lot of the fans pretend to be INTJs because they tend to be compatible with ENTPs?" He chuckled, rolling his eyes. God he does know everything… there was a whole article about this. "We could do the quiz together if you have your concerns." "Shyeah- no, I don't. Just sharin' yknow?" he winked, noticing how you nervously pressed your legs together. He was wearing Killian's Angel Share, and Bad Boy… one of your favorite scents & the effects were almost affecting you almost at a subconscious level.

"Mkay, gotcha! So, anyways… I don't want to force you to open up, take your time in it. Let's start simple. How are you?" You asked Hawks, and for a moment, the barest of seconds, you could see his eyes turn to a void. "Yeah, good, never been better you know? Vacationing now that I have a sick ton of money with practically nothin' to do. Ain't gonna waste it otherwise by being depressed."

You clicked your tongue, oh he would not open up huh? Well, not that you expected this to be an easy ride either. "Yeah, of course. Money does help… helps everyone. At the end of the day I'm sitting on this chair to be paid a hefty by you." You hum, crossing your legs and getting comfortable too. This would be a fierce mental war already. From the determination of a hero and from a healer who's been sought out by the same hero.

"Then again, it isn't everything."

Oh except if you could tell that to childhood Hawks, it was… it was everything. His eyes pale with the answer a little. "Led a very comfortable life haven't you?" He smirked, giving you a miniscule opening.

"Yeah, luckily." You responded, smiling… "Clearly you haven't."

Hawks stood silent at that, and that was an answer enough.

"You were a rich kid since you started your agency, was this your teens or childhood?" Before Hawks could decipher, the session had already begun.

"Well, I was the viral news subject after they found out I was Thief Takami's son." He raised a brow, and you nodded. "Shitty murderer dad, mum?" You felt bad on being so professional, but you also felt Hawks would push you away if you were too kind. Some people have stopped treating him as a person ever since All for One had taken his quirk away.

"Mum was well, absent, mentally." He responded, and shrugged. "Dad was abusive, used to beat me up as a child and mum was too engrossed in her own shit I suppose. Happy for her that she has a new life with a new husband and new kids." It was amusing how Hawks didn't sound salty about it… it could only mean detachment to the finest. A befitting coping mechanism.

"You didn't have to go through that, I'm guessing if I needed to ever, talk to baby Hawks, I can't have a childhood photograph?" You glanced hopefully. "Nah, not a single childhood photograph. Dad was too paranoid of things and mum didn't care."

"We usually uh, have this exercise you know? That you'd keep a picture of your childhood self at your bathroom mirror and remember who you're talking about whenever you feel self-doubt." You smiled, looking into his eyes with empathy but no pity.

"Well, too bad." He chuckled, embarrassed and definitely not liking this emotion.

"Who cares at the end of the day, it's just the first few years of your life." He responded again balming his own thoughts more so than talking to you.

"Yeah, but every phase of our life is important. When your father abused you, hit you, didn't you feel enraged? Or scared? Or both?" You bit your lip, trying to mentally detach as much as possible.

"I felt nothing. I just wanted to not end up like them. If I was as angry as him, then I would become like him. Even my childhood self knew I'm better than that." There was pride in his eyes when he said so.

"True, yes, however… no expectations from your mum to save you?" Hawks shook his head no, shrugging. "She'd get beaten up too."

You nodded, not writing anything down on the paper just yet.

"Alright, I want you to do something for me." He raised a brow when you said that, "I don't want us to traverse further until you try doing this, mkay?" You grinned, "Imagine someone coming to your home, breaking the door at the moment of your abuse, that someone is you. The big, pro hero, you. Then, I'd like you to hold little Keigo's hand, and take him out. How about that?"

Hawks gave you an expression which was a mixture of 'How absurd' and 'Interesting'.

"Do that for me, and do that as many times and in as many scenarios you feel like you needed to be protected. You needed to be healed from." You coo softly… meanwhile Hawks' brain lagged at you saying 'Little Keigo'. So far he thought you didn't know his name… despite it being telecasted worldwide. No, you just refer to old Keigo as Hawks, but little Keigo isn't Hawks… he's just Keigo.

Was he reading too much into this? Would you soon bridge the gap between little Keigo and Hawks? Would you call him Keigo too?

The alarm clock chimed, time was over. You glanced at it and then back at him. "Well, guess you wouldn't be bored anymore, of me." "Hey, give yourself some credit little Shrink." he winked, smirking, "You're really good at this, can't wait to see you next time." "Don't come until you don't do what I asked." "Sure thing jeez."

With that, he left, and you could almost kill yourself at the way you tried to imagine little Hawks in pain. No, attaching to clients is the biggest NO. Yet, you can't help but feel positive tingles at the thought of him doing that little exercise and telling you about it.

Until next time, Keigo Takami.

#hawks #hawks bnha #hawks x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #mha angst #hawks bnha angst #bnha spoilers #keigo takami #hawks x y/n #hawks x you #hawks x reader angst #bnha comfort #mha comfort #mha x reader angst #mha x reader comfort #aftermath hawks #hawks x f! reader #keigo takami x reader

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violet-fluff · 11 months

Text

💙 Post War! Levi x Nurse! Reader

Lending a Hand

@quantobono here’s your Levi x Nurse reader!

After the battle against Eren ended, Jean and Connie rushed Levi to the nearest medical tent they could find once they got back into Marley.

“Excuse me! We need help!” Jean yells as he helps Connie drag Levi into your medical tent.

You quickly turn around from your note taking to see the man these guys were carrying barely conscious.

“Oh! Lay him on the bed. What happened to him, do you know?” You ask as you peek out your tent and wave your nursing assistant, Rina, over.

Connie huffs as he tries to catch his breath. “His leg was bitten by a titan.”

You nod as you help Rina set up medical supplies. “What’s his name and who can I return him to?”

“His name is Levi and we’ll be here waiting for him. He’s our captain.” Jean explains.

Rina is cutting off Levi’s pants as you lean over to look at his face. “Hi, Levi. I’m Nurse y/n and I’m going to help take care of you, ok?”

Levi only grumbles as his dull grey eyes try to stay open.

“Quickly, Rina. He’s losing a lot of blood.” You place a glass nozzle attached to a tube over his mouth and nose. “You won’t feel any pain, ok?” You tell him as the gas slowly puts him into a deep sleep.

Some hours pass and Levi groggily wakes up and looks around confusingly. He’s not sure where he is but he sees you sitting at a desk writing something down and tries to speak but his mouth and throat are too dry.

You look up when you hear a noise to see Levi awake and trying to speak. You quickly grab a glass of water with a syringe and kneel next to his bedside.

“I’m going to give you some water.” You explain to him as you fill the syringe with water and slowly dribble it into his mouth.

Levi lets the water coat his mouth and throat and coughs as he tries to swallow.

“I’m Nurse y/n and you’re in my medical tent. Your friends brought you in here so I can treat your leg.” You tell Levi as you wait for him to be able to speak.

“When will you get started?” Is all he is able to croak out.

You giggle softly. “I’m already done! I’ve been done for the past four hours.”

Levi raises a brow in utter confusion.

You smile and remember Jean and Connie said they were all from Paradis Island. The medical technology there isn’t quite up to date as it is everywhere else.

“I gave you an anesthesia. It’s a gas that puts you to sleep so you aren’t conscious during surgery. It’s very convenient for you because it’s like you took a nice nap and woke up with everything done!”

Levi is too tired to understand further so he only nods. “How bad was my leg?”

“Well, it was a pretty deep bite, but luckily you have a lot of muscle that protected the vital arteries in your leg. That would have been really risky to stitch up and I most likely would have had to take your leg. But, fortunately for you, I was able to let you keep your leg! You will need to use a wheelchair for the time being and take physical therapy sessions to strengthen that leg enough to walk again.” You explain.

Levi clicks his tongue. “Great.”

***

About ten months pass by since you’ve been helping Levi. The head nurse appointed you to be Levi’s physical therapist after his wound healed since you already knew about his condition.

Working with Levi is interesting. He has a strong personality with a lot of sarcasm, but you find it oddly charming. The two of you have become quite good friends.

“Leeeeeevi!” You sing as you walk into his house.

He scoffs when he sees you waltz in. “Do you not know what knocking is?” He says as he wheels in from the kitchen.

“You should really…I don’t know…lock the front door then? A murderer can come in.” You say matter of factly.

Levi rolls his eyes. “I think you’re worse than a murderer.”

You fein hurt. “You really just said that? After I got you a nice gift?” You tell him as you hold out a box.

Levi eyes the box suspiciously but takes it. “What is it?”

Rolling your eyes, you wave your hands forward. “Open it and find out!”

Levi opens the box to see three sticks lying next to each other. “Thanks?”

You laugh and grab the sticks. “Watch this.” You snap it forward and the sticks piece together in one long one.

“A new cane?” Levi questions.

“Not just any new cane,” You say excitedly,” but as you saw, you can compact it so it’s easier to carry when not in use. Also, I had them customize the handle.” You put the cane in his hand for him to inspect. “I know it’s a bit difficult for you to use your cane since you have to use your non-dominant hand, but the way this handle was made, you can still use that hand, or you can use your dominant one. It’s missing finger friendly!” You joke.

Levi gave a small smile as he held the cane in his injured hand with ease. “You’re right. It fits perfectly.” He says as he wiggles his three remaining fingers into the grooves. He tries to stand up so he can try the cane out but you notice something.

“Hey, sit back down, sir.”

Levi rolls his eyes. “I’m fine.”

“I can see a stiff knee from a mile away.” You say while squinting your eyes. “Sit and I’ll massage it. Then you can try your nifty toy!”

Levi huffs but does what he’s told. “You would make a fine captain with how bossy you are.”

Grabbing his leg, you feel the stiffness in his knee as you massage. Levi grunts in pain.

“I know. I’m sorry.” You wince as you continue pressing into his knee.

Ten minutes pass and you gently move Levi’s leg around to see it a lot more mobile than what it was. “So much better!”

“Yeah, thanks.” He says sheepishly.

“Did you need to take pain medication?”

Levi looks away embarrassed. “No.”

You and Levi spend the next few hours trying out his new cane and doing more exercises to stretch out his leg.

“Well I think we’re done here!” You clap as Levi plops onto the couch. His eyes widen when he sees you start to pack your supplies.

“Wait! My back really hurts. I think I may have over exerted myself.” He says and tries to stretch his back.

“Well that’s not good.” You frown. “Has your back always hurt after our sessions?”

“No. I guess it just started. But if you could stay until I go to bed just so I don’t risk hurting myself that would be great.”

You smile. “Levi, I know what you’re up to.”

Levi’s face scrunches. “What do you mean?”

“You don’t want me to leave.” You laugh when you see his face turn red. “You can just ask me to stay. I enjoy your company anyway.”

Levi’s heart races as you sit close to him on the couch. “You’re a brat.”

You grin as you lay your head on the back of the couch and just stare at him. Despite the scars crawling across his face and his dead eye, he was very good looking. You couldn’t admit you gained feelings for your patient as it was very unprofessional but you don’t know how much longer you could suppress it.

Levi looked back at you, admiring your beauty. He was never good in this area…love. But since his life was no longer on the line due to titans, he thought why not give love a try. It was like a culture shock when it hit him right away due to you being with him so much.

No words were said as the both of you leaned closer to one another and your lips touched in a gentle kiss. You felt Levi snake an arm around your waist as you wrap your arms around his shoulders.

Pulling away, you blushed and looked down. “Well, I’m glad the feelings mutual.”

Levi cupped your face to make you look back up at him. “I fell in love with you.”

“I fell in love with you too. But, I didn’t want to seem like a weirdo because I’m also your nurse.” You told him.

“People fall in love in all sorts of ways, right? You don’t have to stop being my nurse though. You give great massages.” He smiled.

You laugh and lean forward to kiss him again.

#levi ackerman #levi aot #levi attack on titan #attack on titan #captain levi #anime #levi x reader #fanfic #violet: levi ackerman oneshot

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feyhunter78 · 1 year

Text

Pink Pastels Pt 30

Description: You and Miguel have a talk about what happened with his mother. Pt 31

If someone asked you what happened, you really couldn’t tell them. One moment you’re listening to Connie talk about how inadequate you are and how much better Ava is…or was, but she doesn’t seem to know that? Then you heard her say that you would never be Gabi’s mother, and you lost it. You saw red, lost all your marbles, let go of the reins, every saying, every comparison, they’re all true.

You look around the room with tears in your eyes. Miguel has taken you to some side room in the hotel. It’s beautiful, and the heavy mahogany door cut off all sound from the party.

Your hand is bleeding, cut open by the glass you broke in your anger. It stains Miguel’s suit jacket, and you want to curl up and die. You’re just happy Brett had the sense to take Gabi back outside, so she didn’t see you go absolutely insane.

Miguel is kneeling in front of you, removing the glass from your palm, he’s so gentle, so kind, and you… You’re just a girl with a shitty dating record and jealousy? Protectiveness? Issues you definitely thought you had worked through. But apparently not.

Maybe you need to make another appointment with your therapist.

“Miguel, I’m so sorry, I can’t believe I did that. I didn’t mean to embarrass you, I just lost my temper and I swear this doesn’t happen often, and it’ll never happen again, and I’m just so, so, sorry, and so embarrassed.” You ramble, the apologies continuing to flow until Miguel presses his lips to yours.

“You were incredible. Mi ángel vicioso.” He breathes, cupping your face in his hands as he admires you. Trsl: my vicious angel.

You bite your lip, but the tears start falling, and soon any lingering rage has been washed away by the familiar waters of grief. “I didn’t mean to, really, she’s your mother and I should’ve been able to control myself, but she was so cruel and I—”

“She was out of line, you had a right to defend yourself, you are Gabi’s mother. What my mother says doesn’t matter. She doesn’t even know the truth, but we do.” Miguel’s voice drops to a whisper, and you immediately know what he’s talking about.

“She doesn’t know?”

He shakes his head, a sly grin on his face. “No, but she may soon enough.”

You furrow your brows. “What do you mean?”

Miguel smooths his thumbs across the skin under your eyes. “Don’t worry about it, I’ve got it taken care of.”

Part of you screams that you should ask questions, that you should worry and wonder about these things when Miguel gives you vague answers. But another part of you, the one that’s tired and just wants to be taken care of wins out, over and over again, and you just leave it be, content to trust Miguel. He’s Spiderman for crying out loud, the city’s hero, the man who saved you from that thug, and your shitty ex-boyfriend.

“You’re not mad?” You ask tearfully, meeting Miguel’s eyes.

He chuckles. “What did I tell you? I could never be angry with you, never.”

You sniffle but nod. “Okay, but I’m still sorry I embarrassed you in front of the whole gala.”

“I don’t care about them; all I care about is you and Gabi.” He reassures you.

You fiddle with the fabric of your dress, your mind swirling with memories. This wasn’t like you, not anymore, but ever since the Ava incident—no, ever since that text from your mother, you’ve been feeling off.

Miguel senses your sadness, like he always does. He can read you so well it’s almost intimidating, like he’s in your head or something.

He tilts your chin up, warm brown eyes searching your face. “What’s wrong?”

“I—it’s just…my mother texted me a few weeks ago, she wants to see me, said she’s been seeing someone that’s been really helping her, and she wants to make amends. I just—I don’t know, I’ve begged her to go to therapy time and time again, but now…” You wipe the tears from under your eyes, trying to salvage your makeup.

“But now you’re worried that it won’t be enough? That she’ll just want to move on as if nothing happened?” Miguel asks gently, pulling a handkerchief out of his suit pocket and using it to pat your cheeks dry, preventing your mascara from smudging even more.

How did he know that? How could he just pull your thoughts from your head and voice them so easily?

“Yeah, exactly.” You say, taking the handkerchief from him, needing something to hold in your hands.

“Well, you don’t have to go, you owe her nothing.” He tells you.

You shrug your shoulders helplessly. “She’s my mother, even if I can’t stand her most of the time, she still tried? I guess?”

Miguel nods, waiting for you to continue.

“And it’s not like she was a drug addict or a criminal, she’s successful, and people like her, my friends would never believe that she could be so mean because she was always so kind to them.”

“But to you? It seems that wasn’t the case?” Miguel asks, his hand settling on your knee, the weight of it a comfort.

“It’s just, she was my first hater, so to speaks. No matter what I did it wasn’t right, what I said, wore, accomplished, nothing, nothing was ever good enough. She always had a better way to do things, and if I didn’t do them her way, she would lose it.” You laugh bitterly, burying your face in your hands. “And she could never take what she dished out, if I got upset or angry, she’d act as if I was the villain. As if I was this horrid daughter who just took things too personally and had emotions only to guilt-trip and hurt her. It was so frustrating.”

Miguel hums sympathetically.

“So, I learned to keep everything bottled up, to smother my emotions before they appeared, so I wouldn’t inconvenience her. I was miserable, faking contentment as if I’d get an Oscar for it. Luckily my parents saw what was going on, and they intervened, but it was too late, the damage was already done.” Your voice goes quiet, those same walls you remember so well falling into place around your heart. Your sadness is gone, replaced by a chilling numbness. The cold is familiar, though, you welcome it.

“Y/N…I’m—I’m so sorry.” Miguel says, his tone colored with sadness.

You feel that same stab of guilt, the one that your mother drove into your heart each time your emotions disrupted her day, her good mood, her life. You were the one who caused a scene, not Miguel, he shouldn’t feel sorry for you. You messed the whole night up.

You remove your hands from your face, wiping away any remaining tears and sitting up straight, shoving down every emotion until you could give him a perfectly pleasant smile. “So that’s my sob story. But anyways we should go get Gabi, it’s getting late.”

Miguel, like always, reads you like a book, and sees what you’re doing. “You don’t need to hide from me, cariño, I want to see you, I want to feel the full force of your emotions, good or bad.”

You shake your head, already moving to stand from the ornate chair you’re sitting in. “It’s too much, I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“I want to y/n. You could never be too much, I want every part of you, every fiber of your being, every flaw and perfections, mi vida, there is nothing you could say or do that would turn me from you.” Miguel ties his handkerchief around your hand, all the glass now removed.

“Miguel…” You whisper sadly, not able to meet his eyes.

“I want you, whether you’re sweet, and loving, panicked and trembling, seductive and feisty, or even vicious and bloodthirsty. Every aspect of you I desire, every moment of every day, I desire you. In your entirety.” Miguel professes, holding your hands to his heart, his eyes finding yours.

You love him, you love him, you love him, you love him.

“Mi amor…” You breathe, blinking away happy tears.

“I have always desired to know you wholly, to see every part of you, and I’m grateful you’ve shown me this part, though I’m sorry my crazy mother brought it out of you.”

You both laugh at that, and it breaks you out of that icy numbness, bringing you back to the full warmth of Miguel.

“You’re too sweet to me.” You say, smiling up at Miguel.

He chuckles. “I don’t think that’s possible. Now, should we go get our daughter?”

Tag list: @miggyoharaswife, @badbishsblog, @imisshim2much, @wanderlustingcastaway, @lynn-9703, @sleepyamaya, @erensbbg, @sweetea85, @ilovemiguelohara, @natthernandez, @stxrrielle, @ihateuguys, @jenniferdixon05207, @blep-23, @luvisaaxoxo, @minimari415, @emerald-09, @violet-19999, @kenchosaikuo, @groovycass, @youcantseem3, @lovefks, @nightshxdex, @dusstory, @aesniri, @munsonssecretblog, @kirke-is-my-name, @starbearieee, @chatoicboy, @act1839, @needsleep3000, @totally-not-georgia, @witchy-lizard, @cxmeiloorun7, @justrandomlolidk, @chimpkinnuggies, @alicefallsintotherabbithole, @loser-alert, @wwwellacom, @ryantryan6969, @lollipopin, @blakeaha, @youcantseem3, @a-cult-leader, @verexi, @purpleskiesandroses, @they2luv1naia, @sophiaj650, @idolautism, @rheannajrs, @merakiq, @rexs-wife, @sukaretto-n, @twilight-loveer, @f1shb0nez, @callsign-blue, @marcelineormars

Pt 2: @sxnasbitch, @111gltzpzy, @lucilavenxoxo, @ray-rook, @elizamelody, @soapbar99, @trashieboii, @erissco, @gardenof-venus, @vlads-dracula3 , @yaoisenpaiii, @the-occasional-artist1125, @polireader, @mvchmp, @shadowxfheaven, @hxlytrin, @melomichuwu, @weirdothatwritess, @ash-aragami, @deguzu, @angelarcheangel, @nekotaetae, @milohatesspit, @lollipop974, @miggyyyyohara, @itzsab, @namjooningera, @hana-1235, @amberpanda99, @joceymoo, @tfamidoingwithmylife, @itsashree, @battinsonwhore05, @namjooningera, @tortilla-chips-and-allioli, @fluffy-koalala, @fandom-ash, @angelarcheangel, @yuuotosaka3, @latersgaters-steven, @ariparri, @wanda-maximoff-enthusiast, @lycaninelizard, @angelarcheangel, @yuuotosaka3, @allysunny, @lollipopin, @allysunny, @loves0phelia, @caslistener, @tayleighuh, @namtaeh, @freehentai, @hellomrstikbot, @comeonatmebruh, @jacejawp

#meg's writing #miguel’s pastels #this is just me working out my mommy issues in this chapter #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel ohara x you #miguel ohara x reader

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yelenasdiary · 11 months

Note

For flufftober: Middle sibling reader x older sister natasha and younger sister yelena. Reader was recently released from the subjugation of the red room and so theyre throwing a little welcome home party for reader. With cake and streamers and a polaroid camera. Some terrible music playing that they all jam too as they down too many bottles of vodka?

New Memories

Pairing: Older Siblings! Natasha & Yelena x Younger Sibling! GN! Reader

Summary: After a little over a year of therapy, your older sisters throw you a welcome home party.

Warnings: Fluff/Comfort, Mentions of Red Room, Subjugation, Drinking, Language Warning | 1.3K

Translations: Sestra (Sister),

AC: Thank you for requesting this, as I mentioned, I have combined with request with another, I hope you enjoy! x

October Special Masterlist

"Sestra, it'll be fun" Yelena argued with her Russian accent coming in thick. It was Halloween and your sisters, Natasha and Yelena planned a little party for you with the help of the other Avengers, Alexei and Melina. It's been a few short months since your year of therapy had gone from three sessions a week to weekly appointments, your therapist was proud of how far you'd come since your sisters saved you from the subjugation of Red Room and freed you from the control of General Dreykov. You hated that they wanted to throw a party in your honor, you never liked the fuss being about you.

"Lena, I know you and Nat are happy for me and trust me, I am proud of myself as well but I just don't think I want to have a party thrown to celebrate" you replied before letting your eyes fall back down to the book in your hands.

"It is not just to celebrate how far you have come" Yelena spoke as she took a seat at the end of your bed, forcing you to put your book down once more. "It's about making new memories, ones that are real, ones we get to keep and talk about in years to come. Natasha won't admit it but I know she would love to fill the photo album she has on her bookcase and I would like an updated photo of the three of us" your older sister by 2 years went on.

She had a point and that made it hard for you to turn her down. Looking back on the memories you had with your sisters, it was hard to remember. You were only 4 when the mission in Ohio was completed and you were ripped from Natasha's arms. After that, it was blurred moments of fake Christmases, thanksgivings and other holidays just to give you three a moment of something that felt somewhat normal.

"Fine" you playfully rolled your eyes at the blonde, "will Kate and Wanda be there?" you asked with hope. Yelena nodded, "who do you think were the first to jump at the idea of baking a cake" she replied.

"A cake? Really?" you asked with a slight frown, of course your family were going to make this a big deal and honestly, for Yelena to say this would be fun was a comment you never thought she would say about a party.

----

Music mixed with laughter and chatter filled the room, Kate wandered around taking polaroid photos of everybody and placed them in a small box for you to look back on at a later date. Eventually the room became quiet, around midnight people called it a night and headed to bed leaving you, Yelena and Natasha still up.

"Now we can really party" Natasha smiled as she placed a bottle of vodka on the table along with three shot glasses. "Amen to that!" you replied in a sigh of relief, too much socializing and now you were finally going to have the party you truly wanted with your sisters.

Yelena poured three shots as you and Natasha threw streamers at one another, you started it of course. "Stop acting like children, lets drink!" Yelena announced as she carefully yet skilfully sliding the shot glasses down the table to you and Nat without spilling a drop. You downed your shot the moment it hit your hand, the burn of the alcohol in the back of your throat reminding you why you loved vodka so much.

It was long before the bottle of vodka was finished, and another was placed on the table. Crumbs of cake slices littered the wooden table while the three of you made new memories, jokes and brought up old, good memories.

"SO BYE BYE MISS AMERICAN PIE, DROVE MY CHEVY TO THE LEVEE, BUT THE LEVEE WAS DRY" the three of you sung in sync, now each holding a bottle of vodka. Wanda and Kate had come down from upstairs and watched the drunk mess unfold. You were laughing, when Yelena pushed you to the floor for standing on her foot for the 5th time. Natasha had the polaroid camera in her hand taking very drunken and blurry photos of you and Yelena before turning the camera on herself to snap a selfie.

"Do you think Tony would get made if we stole one of his suits? I mean come on! those things look so fucking sick!" You looked between your sisters. Yelena turned to Nat, "I'm with Y/n, let's do it!" she said before taking another mouthful of vodka from the bottle.

"Should we stop them?" Kate whispered to Wanda who shook her head, "no, let them have their fun" the Sokovian replied before gesturing her head towards the stairs as a way to say let's go back to bed. "I kind of want to be awake early to see Tony's reaction" Kate whispered once more as she followed Wanda up the stairs.

"Alright but you gotta be quiet!" Natasha said, bringing her index finger to her lips in a shush motion.

Cheeky smiles tugged at the lips of you and your sister as Natasha led you both down the hall to the elevator, pressing the basement button.

----

"Can somebody tell me why the fuck I found 3 of my suits scattered around the damn compound?!" Tony asked with pure anger in his voice. Your head was pounding, it had clearly been a while since you got drunk as much as you did last night.

"Tony, shhhh!" you looked up at him before taking a sip of your coffee.

"Nothing is broken, nothing to stress about" Natasha tuned in, taking her hang over a lot better than you were. She looked as though she didn't even drink last night.

"That's not the point Romanoff and you know it!" Tony snapped, "the three of you are suspended until further notice so I suggest you start thinking about cleaning up the mess you made!" he added before storming out of the room.

"What mess?" you asked with a frown as Natasha sat down across from you at the dining table, peanut butter toast in her hand. "Oh, that is on you and Yelena to clean" she replied with a light chuckle as you rested your head on the table to catch a few extra minutes of shut eye.

Yelena came into the kitchen just how Natasha did, as if a hangover was non-existent. "HA! Looks like somebody needs a little more practice on how keep their vodka down" she spoke, her loud voice making your head pound harder than before. Slowly, you lifted your head to look up at your sister, giving her a look of death has she stole Natasha's mug of coffee, "please shut up" you replied before letting your head drop to the table once again.

"You and Y/n have to go clean up the yard today" Natasha said after swallowing a mouthful of her toast. "Yeah, I figured" Yelena chuckled, bringing the mug to her lips, "you better go take a shower sestra" she encouraged you only to earn a mumble and grumble in return as you took yourself to the showers.

"Another round tonight and they will be fine" Yelena looked at Natasha before taking another sip of Nat's coffee, Nat just chuckled, "I don't think they could handle another round" she replied as Wanda walked into the kitchen.

"You three had fun last night" she smiled softly as she placed a rather large handful of polaroid on the table in front of the two Russian sisters. Natasha reached for the small photos and flicked through them while Yelena watched, a smile tugging at both sisters lips as they saw how happy they looked, how much fun they had and how finally they had photos with real moments, real emotions and real love.

"Yeah, one of the best nights" Natasha spoke softly.

#yelenasdiary asks #scarletwidowblackwitch #fanfiction #yelena belova #marvel #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #yelena belova x reader #flufftober

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tealeavesandtrash · 6 months

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Wolfstar Micro Fic - @wolfstarmicrofic prompt: Amnesia - 750 Words

Remus sits on the sofa, staring at the bookshelf in front of him, wonders how many of those books are his, which ones he’s read or was excited to read. This is his life now. When he isn’t at doctors appointments, he’s staring at photos or objects pondering what history he has attached to them. This is his house, he knows logically it is - he’s in photos on the walls, his name is on the mail - but it feels like he’s living in a stranger's body. There are days he’d rather stay in hospital just to escape the relentless notion that he's an imposter in someone else life.

He can feel Sirius’ eyes on him, watching in anticipation, like any moment things will snap back into place. “Lily found some more photos,” Sirius says, “we could go through them today?” Remus nods, although he doesn’t feel like he has much choice in the matter. “Is she coming round?” “Yeah, but she won’t stay.” He likes Lily. He suspects they used to be very close, but it feels juvenile to ask outright if they’re best friends. Despite that, he slips back into the bedroom shortly after she arrives, feigning tiredness. It’s not a complete lie - he’s tired a lot which is supposedly a good sign that his brain is trying to fix itself. But he’s also tired of all the visitors - friends of theirs trying to help who don’t how to act around him and Remus is constantly running through a mental rolodex trying to find names for faces.

“The Potters send their love,” Sirius says while laying the photos from Lily across the living room floor. Remus scans them, trying to identify them. It’s one of the memory exercises they keep pushing in therapy that feels more like a child’s game. He picks up a photo of a couple and a baby and Sirius gives him a hopeful smile. Remus doesn’t explain that he picked it because it’s the only picture of a redhead. When he first picked out a photo of his parents Sirius had been so excited, only to be crumble a moment later when Remus explained it was a simple process of elimination - they just shared the most resemblance with him. Remus stopped explaining his logic after that, save people the disappointment.

Nights are the worst. When he’d first come home, he refused to share a bed so Sirius insisted on taking the guest room. Not that it made a difference to Remus, he feels just as much a guest in the master bedroom as he would the guestroom. Sirius loiters outside his room when they say goodnight, the same way he does every night, like he’s half expecting Remus to invite him in. “Why are you being so patient with me?” Sirius looks at him with soft, sad eyes. “Because you’re my Moony,” he says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. The nickname feels foreign. Sirius says it with such revance but it means nothing to Remus. “I’m not though, I might never be him again.” “You will-” “-You don’t know that,” Remus cuts him off. “People keep saying that, like everything will suddenly fix itself, but you have no idea. No one does.” Sirius swallows, dropping in gaze. Remus might feel bad for snapping if he wasn’t so sick of everyone’s blind optimism. Sirius takes Remus’ hands, gently runs his thumb over his knuckles. “It doesn’t matter,” he says quietly. “You’ll always be my Moony, even if you don’t see it. Even if you never see it.”

Remus curls up in the middle of an empty bed, a thousand thoughts bouncing around his head as he replays Sirius’ words. He thinks about how alone he is, open and exposed in a room that feels too hollow. He thinks about how his therapist told him to embrace the unknown, push through the fear.

The floor is cold under his bare feet as he pads across the landing and slips into the guest room. The curtains are wide open, illuminating the room with moonlight which he's immensely grateful for. It doesn’t feel as claustrophobic. Sirius has his back to him, chest rising and falling with steady breaths. Remus doesn’t slip under the covers, this alone is a big enough step, but he does lie down next Sirius, close enough that they’re almost touching. Remus takes a deep breath to steady himself, lets himself adjust to the moment. Tentatively, he lets his eyes slip closed.

#idk how i feel about this one like i love the concept?? but idk i got the flow i wanted??#remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #remus x sirius #marauders #complete #oneshot #micro fiction #maddy writes #wolfstar fanfiction #marauders fanfiction #amnesia au #wolfstar microfic

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dirtybitfic · 7 months

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Therapy pt.1

matt sturniolo x y/n

Story contains- language, talking about sexual fantasies and issues, kinks, therapy session.

Pink-you purple- Leslie your best friend. blue -matt. orange the receptionist

story line- you start therapy to help with issues you had with partners in the past and not knowing how to fix them and feeling like your not finding people who match your wants and needs in the bedroom.

Y/n pov-

I just got ready to head to my first sex therapy session. I'm honestly mortified I even have to do this in the first place but Leslie my best friend said it would be helpful.

One week ago..

y/n I love you but you really need to go to someone professional about this

no absolutely not . im not going to a random person to try and figure out my sex issues .

I'm serious it can be really beneficial ! do you want to suffer for the rest of your life with partners who won't give you what you want or do you want to talk to a trained therapist who can help you find the right way to find what you want and why you want it

ughh I don't know I just don't like talking to people I don't know about shit like this .

I know it makes you anxious but some of your fantasies are a bit... extravagant and this therapist might be able to help you understand why you want things like that you know find out the underlying details you might not see for yourself

okay you have a point there.. okay maybe ill go once and if I like it ill stick with it if not then I won't go back

Yeah what's the worst that could happen

I blame you if it goes to shit

yeah yeah whatever your so dramatic

Present time

Im not gonna lie i'm so nervous about this whole thing. I never liked therapy in general . I only like talking about my life with people I trust so talking to a stranger about my sex problems sounds like hell.

Maybe Leslies right though this could end well and I might enjoy it but ... probably fucking not.

I just pulled up to the building and parked in the parking deck I was already 9 minutes late since parking in down town L.A is horrible so obviously thats not helping my anxiety at all.

I made my way to the lobby of the 26 story building and took the elevator up to the 20th floor.

walking out I noticed the seating area was very spacious but also dull.

all the furniture was black and white . Everything looked so clean and pristine I was almost scared to touch anything. As I walked up to the reception desk the young woman noticed me and smiled.

Hey you must be y/n . Your here for the 7:00 appointment right?

yes hi im so sorry im late parking was a mess

no worries matts last appointment is running a little behind anyways.Take a seat and ill let you know when to head back

okay thank you

I took a seat on one of the black couches and scrolled on my phone trying to busy my mind

After about 10 more minutes a couple walked out of the long hallway looking very pissed off and on edge .

I averted my attention back to my phone to avoid awkward eye contact.

Y/n Matt is ready for you if you'd like to head back

okay thank you

I make my way down the long hallway slowly still unsure of going through with this or not.

I reach the doors and softly push one open and walk in .

A man who im guessing is matt is sitting in a chair at a desk facing out to the windows so I can only see the back of his head.

I softly clear my throat.

hi Mr.sturniolo im y/n

he jolts in his chair

Oh hi im sorry your so quiet I didn't hear you come in he says as he spins around to face you and your breathe catches in your throat .

He is the most attractive man you've ever seen . Dark hair with bright blue eyes, nice stubble and tattoos adorned his left arm. Maybe this won't be so bad

I hold eye contact not saying anything but smiling awkwardly.

oh sorry please have a seat and we can get started

I take a seat in the chair opposite to him and softy set my phone on my lap and purse on the ground.

so y/n what made you choose to come see me

umm well it was a suggestion my beat friend made she said that it might help me work out some things that I might not be seeing for my self

okay well lets start off with your relationship backgrounds . How many relationships have you had and how long were they

well i've only had two real relationships. The first one was when I was a sophomore in high school it was about 6 months and my second one was my during summer going into sophomore year of college it was about 3 months.

okay ... why would you say the first relationship didn't work out?

Umm I don't know . He was pretty verbally abusive and made me feel bad about myself . He closed me off From my friends and threw temper tantrums in front of my parents which was very embarrassing but after a while I got fed up with the way he treated me even after I asked him to fix some things that I didn't like and he didn't so I broke up with him.

okay and how was the sexual relationship with him

I mean pretty good id say its one of the only reasons I stuck around for so long

okay so what made it good .?What are some things he did that you enjoyed?

well I don't know . He let me keep my shirt on so I liked that

he chuckled a little bit at your answer .

okay thats ... nice but name things he did that made you feel good . Did he talk you through it . touch you in a way that made you feel good ... things like that

yeah I mean he was my first everything . He would choke me which is something that I like ... he would give me hickeys in only places we could see which I thought was hot I guess. He would I guess praise me a little which made me feel good .

okay and did he ever prioritize your pleasure over his

n-no not really I mean he never made me cum

You were with him for 6 months and he didn't make you cum at all?

no I mean he would make me ummm you started to get nervous for some reason not wanting to say squirt.

So he made you squirt but never gave you a full orgasm

yeah

okay and what about the second relationship

well it was more of a glorified situationship but he was great until he wasn't . He treated me well always made me feel pretty and wanted. The sex was fucking amazing I mean he was the only man who ever gave me head and I used to hate the idea of having a man go down on me I still kinda do but he was so good at it . And he made me you know uh squirt a lot but again never made me orgasm or he'd have me right at the brink of orgasming and then he'd cum and that was it. But after 2 and a half months he got distant said he was going through a lot and pretty much ghosted me for 2 weeks so I broke it off and never spoke to him again.

okay and what are things he did during sex that you enjoyed.

well he would choke me and he'd degrade me which is something I love and he would slap me which I did have to ask him to do but he did it willingly and he would talk to me a lot during it which I liked especially when id be over stimulated and id be crying and he'd hold me closer but made me take it which I found really attractive . He also bit my shoulder sometimes which for some reason I liked . He also liked to leave hands prints on my ass which I loved too and I loved leaving scratch marks on his back and he also enjoyed it .

okay so what ive gathered so far is you like being choked , its easier for you squirt than it is to orgasm , you have a pain kink, you like receiving and leaving marks, you like impact play and with an educated guess your a submissive.

Y-yeah I mean you got all that from such little information...

well I mean it is my job y/n he smiles at you causing you to smile back .

That is true you say with a quite laugh

so what are somethings that you feel were missing from your past sexual partners or maybe somethings you wanted them to do but were too afraid to bring up

well I mean obviously Id like to find a man who Puts in the effort to make me cum . I also guess I wish id like my partners to be more vocal even if its just sounds I like to know im doing a good job and that I make them feel good. I also wish they would make me call them specific names... sometimes I don't find it hot to moan their names so I just don't . I also would like someone who fully dominates me you know bosses me around tells me exactly what to do and how to do it. I also wish that I could fully voice what I want but when I try I pussy out.

okay so obviously they haven't fully satisfied your wants and needs in the past. How do you usually feel after sex?

I guess used in a way . I haven't really had a guy yet who takes care of me after . They all have just gotten up threw me a towel to clean myself off and then I get dressed and leave.

so you crave the intimate parts as well as the sex. You want to feel taken care of after and not just like they got what they want and thats all

yeah exactly I mean thats why I haven't really had sex in a while I started to have a lot of mental challenges with myself and it created a lot of body image issues and I just got tired of feeling used

im sorry they made you feel that way. I think what a lot of guys fail to realize is girls minds are very different . They don't think the way they treat a girl after has that much effect but it does and ive seen through the years the toll that it can take on younger woman's minds that can even lead to eating disorders. Its very important to make woman feel loved and take care of even if the sex is rough and after they do something so small like running a bath to help you relax small things can really make a difference

exactly I want something like that but I feel like I always go for emotionally immature men who just see me as a piece off ass and get what they want then leave I just feel like its hard to find a man who will fit my every want and desire but I don't want to keep lowering my standards just so I can get fucked once and a while

You shouldn't have to lower your standards for that but it does sounds like being celibate isn't something you're happy about he says with a look on his face that you cant exactly read .

well no I mean I like having sex honestly sometimes I think I like it a bit too much . Im horny a lot and don't get me wrong toys are great but its never quite the same and having someone on top of me making me feel good

I understand what you mean . Don't take this the wrong way but do you think that you might be a sex addict

i... well maybe I don't know you say as your face gets red with embarrassment .

do you think that maybe looking into something like a bdsm club would be worth a try . Judging by the things you like that you've told me so far you need a dominant who not only wants to pleasure you but enjoys giving you everything you want

I don't know ive looked into it but they all seem weird and sketchy .

Well what is your dream man explain what he would look like what he would do to you that would meet your every deep desire

well I like a man who's taller than me who I can stand next to and feel small compared too but also feel protected by. I like a man who looks dark and mysterious kind of like if he walked into a room people would feel on edge and a bit scared. I like a man with dark hair and light eyes preferably with tattoos that has an energy to him that makes me feel slightly in danger even though im not. I want a man who asks me my kinks and fantasies and has no problem making them a reality .

And what is your darkest fantasy . one you've never told anybody he says leaning closer to you over the desk making your breathe hitch .

He narrows his eyes on you as he notices your breathing pattern changing and the way your thighs rub together as you squirm in your chair. With how attractive he is and the way he pins you down with his eye contact and all the sex talk it has you wet and horny.

I don't know if you really want to hear about that to be honest you'll probably think im crazy

I would never think that y/n you have to remember I hear about things like this on a day to day bases its nothing that I probably haven't heard before.

okay c-can I look in my notes app thats where I have them written in full detail

of course also lets move to the couch this seat gets uncomfortable after sitting in it all day

okay you say as you slowly get up making your way to the couch and taking a seat in the middle

he stands adjusting his pants and taking off his tie setting in on his chair as he unbuttons a couple of the top buttons of his dress shirt getting more comfortable since your his last client of the day.

he comes over and sits almost knee to knee with you causing your breathing to accelerate at the closeness between you both.

whenever your ready to share go ahead I promise this is a safe space I will not judge you

okay . Well my fantasy takes place in a grave yard...

okay scence set he says smiling over at you

well it starts off with me taking a walk in the grave yard kind of late and its dark and foggy as I make my way to the far back where there's tress and the larger graves I hear a branch snap like someone is watching me causing me to get nervous and a bit scared but I keep walking back further till I hit old decrepit stairs that lead into catacombs . As I make my way to the stairs I hear more branches snapping and look into the woods to see a man in a mask watching me as he slowly makes his way to me before I run down the stairs causing his to chase after me into the catacombs and before I can get father away he grabs me by my hair causing me to slam back into his big tall frame and fear to flood my body . Then he drags me into one of the open rooms with skulls adorning the walls and throws me on the ground ripping my clothes off and tying my hands behind my back so I cant move them or push him away as he slides into me roughly from the back and he fucks me so hard im crying and shaking under as he tells me how wet I am for him and how much of a good girl I am for letting him take me like this and makes beg him to let me cum so many times im crying and shaking . I also think it would be hot for him to create small cuts in my back with a knife every time I cum until they make up his initials in my back and he fills me to the brim with his cum.

you finally finish reading it and take a deep breathe even scared to look at him not wanting to see his face

y/n look at me

I cant

and why not he says in a deep raspy tone

because I just cant

he moves his hand to your back sliding up slowly until he reaches the back of your head tugging on your scalp causing you to gasp as he forces you too look at him.

I said I would not judge you and I meant that but when I tell you to look at me I expect you to treat me with respect and do as your told

y-yes mr sturniolo im sorry you wince when he lets go of the strong grip he had in your hair .

You were already wet from reading your dirtiest fantasy to him but then he did that and now you were a fucking water fall you could feel it seeping through your thong under your skirt.

you stare at him as he stares back as you with darkened eyes that have you melting into the couch feeling intimidated by the way he is looking at you so intensely.

there's a knock on the door causing you both to break out of the trance you were in and look over .

hey mr sturniolo I was just coming in to check if everything was okay its 20 minutes after my clock out time...

oh im so sorry Kayla you can head out we have some things to finish up on im sorry for holding you over

its okay see you Monday morning

she walks out leaving you and matt alone again.

if you need to go I understand I didn't realize we went over time

no its okay we still have some more stuff to talk about and to be honest I don't have anywhere to rush too

alright then what else do we have to talk about

what about this fantasy excites you the most

um I guess the fear of not knowing who's under the mask but also the fact they followed me I guess it makes me feel special and that he put in that much effort just to get me

Okay so fear turns you on?

I mean I guess but only in certain scenarios

okay so lets say you lived in a big house with a lot of land and you didn't have close neighbors and you had a stalker and he showed up every night watching you from far away . Is that something that would turn you on

yeah I mean the books I read have definitely tainted my mind but yes that would turn me on

what about having a stalker turns you on?

I guess the fact that they are so obsessed with me they feel the need to stalk and watch me

so you like the feeling of knowing someone is obsessed with you

yeah it would make me feel special I guess I don't know saying that out loud sounds concerning

no it doesn't I think you like attention you like knowing that someone is watching you and waiting to pounce on you when they want . You like thinking of someone taking you when they want and not having a say don't you

yeah I guess

so im guessing you also have a consensual non consensual kink ?

yeah you sigh . its kind of concerning how good he is at guessing your kinks and finding ways to get the information out of you without you having to just straight out say it. It honestly makes it less awkward .

so with the cnc kink what about it do you like?

I guess the fighting back I like to push buttons see how much of a fight I can put up until they finally brake and take their anger out on me

so your a brat?

excuse me you ask shocked at what he called you.

he laughs seeing you expression

y/n im not calling you a brat its a type of submissive trait you like getting a man annoyed at you so they punish you when they've had enough of your attitude

ohh yeah okay that makes more sense you say laughing softly to yourself

so you like being punished he says moving his leg closer to yours making them touch fully which has you pulsing around nothing. The way he speaks to you turns you on just the tones of his voice is deep yet soothing put there's also an underlying tones that makes it sounds like he's humiliating you with the words he speaks.

I mean I don't know ive never been punished a day in my life even as a kid I didn't get punished.

come here he says making you look at him confused

he softly grabs your arm then pulls you over his knees

w-what are you doing

don't worry this is strictly a lesson if you'd like me to stop I will but its easier to show you this way then explain with words

your breathing is loud at this point as your thighs squeeze together . the way he has you over his knees is doing something to you given the fact you know your ass is showing since your skirt is kind of short

are you okay with me showing you it will help you get an idea if being punished is something your into or not

you nod your head with cases him to jolt his knee up causing your body to bounce up and your skirt to ride up.

I need you to use your words y/n

y-yes this is okay I trust you

good now lets say I was your dominant okay. The thing I will be punishing you for is earlier can you tell me what that might be

ummm I don't know uh your voice coming out a little shaky. Your so turned on and you're sure if he looks down at any point he could see your soaked thong.

some on use your brain I know you'll figure it out he says as. you feel his hand on your back slowly rubbing small soothing circles

um when I didn't look at you after reading my fantasy

good girl thats exactly what I will punish you for and the punishment will be leaving my hand print on your ass would that be okay

y-yes

good now ill do 5 on each side okay if you want me to stop just tell me and I will okay

okay you say softly. The last thing you expected was for your first session to end with you over your therapists knee having a full demonstration of something you could be into.

his hand slides down your back to your ass as he rubs softly over your left cheek then his hand smacks down hard causing you to gasp.

thats one and I want you to count for me okay

y-yes sir

he groans causing you to blush and wait for the next smack

his hand comes down again making you squeak out Two

your doing good

after the last smack your breathing hard and your left cheek is stinging and pulsing in the spot he continuously hit.

his hand smacks down on your right cheek causing you to jolt forward .

fuck you gasp he hit harder than you expected.

you need me to stop

no im okay keep going

he finishes the last 4 and you're panting as your thighs are clenching together so hard you can feel the muscles straining. He helps you off his lap and you sit back down on the couch wincing in pain as your raw ass hits the surface.

he looks at you with dark blown out eyes with a slight smirk on his face.

well you obviously like being punished he says causing you to furrow your brows at him as you face got hotter.

oh yeah and how do you know that. you said in a snippy tone

because you clenched your thighs the entire time and ... I could see how soaked your thong was

your breathe hitched as you looked down at the ground trying to hide your embarrassment .

no need to be embarrassed . We did it to see if it was something you liked at it proved you did .

matt was about four years older than you making him 26 and you 22 which made this situation even hotter given the age gap.

yeah I know im just embarrassed I like it that much I guess

well I think we covered a good amount for out first session . When do you want to schedule your next meeting ?

do you have any openings on Tuesday ?

let me check he says getting up and going over to his desk to look at his computer .

he looked so hot leaning over his desk , his sleeves rolled up showing his toned forearms and his big veiny hands gripping the tables edge. God you wish you could have those hands around your neck. which makes you realize you forgot to mention one of your biggest kinks .

oh I did forget one kink that plays a roll in a lot

oh yeah and what is that he say still focusing on his computer

Hands you say biting your lip still looking at his hands.

he looks at you then notices you're looking at his hands causing his dick to stiffen even more in his pants. You hadn't noticed he had a hard on and he's glad about that. He's never had a client so close to his age that also fits everything he finds attractive . You're exactly the type of girl he's ever wanted , the perfect bratty submissive but he keeps it to himself knowing he's your therapist and he cant jeopardize your business relationship.

You snap out of it meeting his eyes as he's smirking at you causing your face to get red knowing he caught you looking at his hands.

I have two openings one in the afternoon for 1 pm or 7pm

can we do the 7 pm again

yeah of course ill put you in for 7pm

he finishes setting your appointment and starts grabbing his stuff you stand up off the couch and go to grab your phone where you had set it on his desk and grab your purse taking out your keys.

wait for me and ill walk you out its pretty late out you shouldn't be walking out of here on your own

okay thank you I mean you don't have to do that

no I insist he says before walking around his desk to you and leading you to the door.

he turns the lights off then locks his office doors then you both make your way down the hall to the sitting room area . He turns off all the overhead lights then meets you at the front entrance doors.

He locks those then you make your way to the elevators down to the parking deck.

so what did you think of your first session I know a lot of people don't like therapy

honestly I was really not excited but it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be

im glad I wasn't that bad

me too honestly I was expecting an old man not ...you

ill take that as a good thing

oh yeah no sorry I didn't mean it in a bad way im really glad your young it made me a little less nervous

im glad and I hope it helped to talk through some stuff

it did I mean I usually don't talk about most of this sex stuff with people so it felt good to get some of it out

well then I guess the therapy is doing its job

yeah I guess so you say smiling over at him

which floor did you park on

im pretty sure eight

cool me too ill walk you to your car

oh no you don't have to do that don't you have like a girlfriend to get home to or something

no actually I don't I do have brothers that are waiting for me to get them dinner though

oh well don't let me take more of your time im sure I can safely make it to my car

come on were in down town LA there could be crack heads roaming around ill walk you they can wait

fine if you insist

you make it down to the 8th floor of the parking deck and start walking in the direction of where you parked

so do you live with your brothers

yeah im actually a triplet so you know were very close we haven't really felt the need to move into our own places

oh wow thats cool I have an older brother but were not super close I always wished id had a twin sister though

how old is your brother

oh hes 26

ahh the older brother dynamic I get it its kind of hard to have a close relationship when your 4 years apart

yeah we've gotten closer through the years but you know he's a guy im a girl its different

yeah I get that

okay well this is me you say pointing to your car

thank you for walking me

of course its no problem see you Tuesday

yep see you Tuesday goodnight mr.sturniolo

goodnight y/n and just so you know you can call me matt

okay well good night matt you say as you start to get in your car .

he starts walking the opposite way to where he's parked as you start your car up and head home .

... part 2 coming soon.

#matt sturniolo #bd/sm daddy #therapist

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starcrossedxwriter · 1 year

Text

Built for Love Part 11 (MBJ x Famous Black OC)

Warnings: a bit of angst, lots of fluff, NSFW

A/N: I don't wanna give a single thing away about this chapter so I'm just gonna say enjoy!

“What are you doing outta bed?” Michael paused scrambling eggs on the stove to throw her a glance that matched the exasperation and annoyance in his tone. “I told you I’d bring it to you.”

Charlotte’s slippers made scuffing noises across the hardwood floor as she made her way to the kitchen island.

“Thank you but you’ve sequestered me in that bed since Saturday and I didn’t fight you on it once. It’s Wednesday and if I lay there for one more second, I was gonna lose my mind. I’ve slept enough for a lifetime.” She glanced down at the kitchen island, heavy laden with breakfast. She spied breakfast potatoes, bacon, sausage, fruit, and biscuits. “Now who is all this food for??”

“You,” he responded simply. “You needed sleep and now you need calories. You’ve been losing weight since we moved here and that stops now.”

Charlotte could not deny that was true. It was unintentional but her soft curves had certainly lost much of their curviness since she moved to New York. She was not at her skinniest by any means, but the rigorous performances and practices, her regular workout routine, and the stress caused the pounds to shed without her even realizing it.

She popped a piece of cantaloupe in her mouth as she walked up to him. “This is very sweet and everything smells delicious. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now go sit.”

Charlotte moaned. Dr. Jordan was the strictest fake doctor she had ever met in her life. He barely gave her a chance to stand and stretch her legs.

“Babeeeee,” she whined, wrapping her arms around his midsection. Her forehead rested on his back. “I can stand for a few minutes. He fucked up my upper body, my legs still work just fine.”

“You need to rest and relax, Charlotte. Damn,” he muttered under his breath. “Worst patient I’ve ever seen.”

“How many girls have you nursed back to health from near death, babe? Damn, I thought I was your first for once,” she joked. However, when it fell flat, she grimaced. “Too soon?”

“Wayyyy too soon, baby. How’re you feeling?”

“Fi-” she started to say but remembered her promise. It included this. She pressed her lips to his back, his taunt and bare muscles flexing at her touch.“B-better. Nightmares weren’t so bad last night… just a couple so that’s progress… torturously slow progress,” she added. “And I made an appointment with my old therapist. We’re gonna do virtual sessions till I get back to LA.”

Michael turned from the stove, still in the grip of her arms, to face her. He gave her an encouraging smile. “That’s great, Els.” He was proud of her, he knew how hard that was… that she likely felt as if she was backtracking or starting over. “Why didn’t you wake me last night?”

“You need to sleep too, Dr. Jordan. All this taking care of and fussing over me, I know you’re not resting.”

“I’ll rest when those heal.” He lifted her chin lightly to look at the bruising on her neck. He knew they would get worse before they got better but his eyes glazed over with rage every time he looked at her bruises, particularly the ones around her neck. He could make out exactly where his hands were, a temporary brand to what he tried to do.

Charlotte rubbed his arm, an attempt to soothe the brewing emotions she could feel inside him. She always admired his emotional intelligence, how he was able to reign in his emotions and rage even when he so clearly wanted to find the nearest punching bag or Shaun’s face and have at it. “I’ve had worse. It always looks way worse than it feels. Well, that’s not true. The first day, it felt worse than it looked. But it’s not too bad now. I promise. And I’d rather you rest now. I really am ok.”

Despite her assurances, she could tell he did not believe her. She sighed, wondering when she would earn his trust again. That was honestly the hardest part in all this for her, knowing that her actions had caused her to lose it in the first place.

“How long is it gonna take for you to trust me when I say that again?” She asked quietly. She wasn’t angry, there were consequences to her actions and this was one of them. But it did break her heart. She hated the idea that he did not trust her words. This was their first real issue as a couple, the first time she had to contend with them not being on the same page.

Michael sighed, his hand going to scratch the scruff of his beard for a moment. “It’s not a question of trust, Els. Because I do trust you. And I’m not tryin’ to hold this against you. But this taught me that for better or worse, your default is to deal with your shit alone. To hide and, if needed, lie to avoid bothering or worrying other people. And I get it, I understand why. But I won’t lie and pretend like this shit didn’t shake me up a lot. Being stuck in LA knowing something wasn’t right even though you promised it was. Seeing you after the show shaken and scared and not knowing why… seeing you nearly dead on the floor when I was one room over. That ain’t shit I’m gonna get outta my head anytime soon. When you say you’re good, I wanna know that’s true. But I also know it’s gonna take a lot more than a promise and a few days for that to happen. You gotta work on trusting me with your problems and your pain and that shit takes time. And in the meantime, I’m gonna work on taking you at your word but I might also just need… some reassurances that you’re really ok.”

She understood why Michael was being so protective. She could tell he still felt guilty, though he shouldn’t, about not being there to protect her in the first place. And now, he acted as if she needed to be wrapped in bubble wrap at all times. He barely let her out of his sight and if it was not an absolute necessity, he barely let her out of bed. She understood the impulse. If it made him feel better to fuss, she would not deny herself or him that.

“I understand. I didn’t think about how all of that would affect you… scare you. And I am sorry. Whatever reassurances you need and fussing you wanna do for as long as you wanna do it, I won’t fight you on it. Promise.”

“Thank you.” He kissed her nose, her face scrunching up a bit. “How’s the pain?”

“Manageable. Head is still pounding, everything’s a bit stiff but I feel like I can get up and move around a bit. Or at least move from the bed to the couch for a change of scenery. Maybe convince the best and sexiest doctor in New York to take me on a walk after breakfast so I can breathe some fresh air?”

He eyed her suspiciously. “You sure you're up for that?”

“Probably not up for a long one,” she admitted. “But even if it’s just 10 minutes… the cameras and reporters have finally moved on to bothering someone else. We could escape for a bit. I’m going a little stir crazy, Bakari.”

“Fine. Just for a bit then Avengers on the couch?”

“Thank youuuu.”

She ate quickly, finishing two plates at Michael’s insistence.

As they went into their bedroom to change, she raised an eyebrow in shock as Michael handed her one of his favorite sweaters. She had stolen quite a lot of his clothes in the last few months, in which they basically became her clothes and he never saw them again. However, this coveted sweater had always been out of her grasp. He had always made it clear it was one of the few items that were off limits because he knew he’d never get it back. However, she had tried it on one or twice when he wasn’t home and it was like wearing a cloud, so insanely soft.

“Wow… so this whole time all I needed to do was almost die to get this?? Chile, I would’ve done that months ago to get this sweater,” she joked. Though she could see the corner of his mouth twitch, he did not laugh. “Still too soon?”

“If it was too soon 20 minutes ago, it still is, Els.”

“Sorry, Jackson wasn’t a fan of my dark humor about dying the first time either. But it helps to find some humor in it… somewhere. And you gotta admit, it is kinda funny…” She remarked as she pulled on a pair of leggings. They still had to bundle up, one thing Charlotte did miss about LA was the perfect weather year around.

“Ain’t a single humorous thing about any of this, babe.”

“I dunno… I mean no, it isn’t funny. But also, it’s kinda crazy… Since I met him, Shaun’s gone out his way to try to kill me twice… and each time, I’ve survived. Like he is really bad at murder… terrible. I mean, not complaining… Thank God for it. But I would just stop trying if I was 0/2 with the same person, you know? That’s embarrassing??” That did make a small chuckle escape Michael’s lips. “See!! It is kinda funny when you actually think about it.”

“I’m ignoring you,” he called as he went into the closet to pull out their winter coats, baseball caps, and shades. Thankfully, the press and paparazzi surrounding their building had started to dissipate. They had gotten a couple glimpses of her family and Michael coming and going but none of her, thankfully. That was the only thing that would have made this whole ordeal worse, her bruised and battered form thrown across the front page of every newspaper. She knew it was still a possibility, pictures of her injuries from the hospital could leak. The downside of fame, nothing was truly private.

She shrugged as he helped her pull on her coat.

“I’m just saying he’s bad at killing or I am just that good at surviving,” she muttered. “Maybe they should cast me in Black Panther too?” At his confused stare, she smiled. “Cause I clearly have 9 lives like a cat? I could be like your sexy evil accomplice… The Golden Cheetah?”

That did make him laugh for the first time in several days. His hands grabbed her jacket to pull her close to him. “I’ll talk to Ryan about it, how about that?”

“That’s all I ask.” She stretched on her tiptoes to kiss him before he took her hand to lead them outside.

Their walk did not last too long as Michael knew it would not. Not because Charlotte was not up for it but because neither of them wanted to be out in the cold long. But she still appreciated his willingness to acquiesce to her small request. A walk was really the only public thing she cared to do, at least, until all the bruises faded. And she did appreciate the activity, she wanted to keep her limbs from going too stiff. She’d be back on stage next week, the one thing she did have to fight Michael on. Chris was on the verge of an ulcer every day she was out. He called to check on her everyday. She knew he actually cared about her but she also knew he wanted his leading lady back… ASAP. She already felt guilty ruining his opening night, the least she could do is not send him to the hospital from the stress.

But Michael did not push back too much once she promised to have security with her, given that Shaun was officially out on bail. Restraining order or not, she and Michael were not interested in testing whether Shaun would adhere to it. She let Michael pick and vet the guy, who came highly recommended.cHis accolades included knowing more than an acceptable amount of ways to kill someone with his bare hands so she could not deny she would feel more safe in his presence. And the theater security and box office had been alerted and prepped to ensure her ex did not step foot on the premises again. And he no longer, thankfully, even had a legitimate reason to, Chris letting her know he had been fired from his investment firm immediately after the news broke.

Charlotte knew she would not know real peace or be able to fully move on until he was behind bars, which the DA warned could take a year given the docket unless he accepted a plea. But she would accept the small wins and forms of justice that she could get, she knew it was far more than many in her position would ever see.

As she pulled her outer layers and hat off, she got a glimpse of her hair in the mirror.

“Ugh.”

“What?”

“My hair… How can you stand to look at me like this? I look like a troll doll. I’m gonna have to go to the salon or pay someone to come and wash it. I look crusty as hell.”

“How about we relax in the bath and I’ll wash it for you?”

Her face lit up. She remembered when they talked about a similar scene in Creed, the intimacy of helping Bianca do her hair. Her heart swelled at the idea of recreating such a moment. The role of victim and caregiver over the last few days had stripped a layer of emotional intimacy the pair was accustomed to. She knew it would come back eventually but she hoped, perhaps, this small act would speed things up a bit.

“Really?”

He gestured toward the bedroom, taking her hand to get ready for the tub.

Soon, she found herself resting against Michael’s chest in the bath, bubbles surrounding both of them. He did all the work, his fingertips softly massaging shampoo and conditioner in her tresses, Charlotte could’ve fallen to sleep right there.

“Can I ask you something?” Her soft voice breaking the silence between them as Michael worked diligently and carefully to avoid causing her pain. It had been on her mind since they got home, stationed at the forefront for the hours and hours she spent resting or recovering in his arms. Several days removed, the shock had worn off for both of them, she felt like enough time had passed to finally talk about things unrelated to what happened or her safety. They could talk about the future, one she prayed to God she did not completely destroy.

“Shoot.” He took note of the nervousness in her voice. He did not know what she could be about to ask him, what could cause her to be nervous. He was an open book.

“At the hospital… you said you wanted to marry me…” her voice grew quiet, one of her legs drawing into her chest. “Did you mean that? Do you still mean that? Or was it just, you know, you caught up in the emotion of everything?”

His massaging stilled for a moment before he answered, “Yes, yes, and no.” Simple and to the point as he resumed his task.

He could feel her body relax against him again at his answers.

“You don’t wanna elaborate on any of those answers?”

He laughed. “Nah cause it’s pretty cut and dry to me. I’m pretty set on spending the rest of my life with you.”

And that was not him just trying to assure her, it was the truth. He knew in his soul Charlotte was the end game for him well before they went on their first date. He had just been waiting for her to catch on. And once she did, every step he had taken since, including this move to New York, was with the intention of spending every day of the rest of his life with her.

“Even after all this? After I lied to you?”

Michael knew she still felt guilty. Between the two of them, there was much guilt to go around in their household over the last 72 hours. Some of it was fair and some of it was not. But just as he was trying to work through his own guilt, he did not want Charlotte to continue to hold onto hers when he had forgiven her.

“Els, I meant it when I said I forgive you. And when I say somethin’, I mean that shit. Stop beating yourself up over it. I’ve loved you since the moment you walked into the studio for our screen test. And I’ve just fell more and more in love with you with every passing day. All of this changed nothing for me, except reminding me that whatever time we have together, I don’t wanna waste it.”

Her hands played in the tall bubbles of the bath as she contemplated his words.

“That been on your mind since I said it?”

“Yea,” she admitted. “You know, all my time in bed gave me lots of time to ruminate,” she chuckled lightly. “It’s just… I mean we just have never talked about marriage a-and the long-term stuff. I mean and I get it, we haven’t even been together a year. But w-when you said that, it made me really happy because I feel the same about you. B-But then I just… you know, obsessed over it for the last three days wondering if all this changed your mind or made you question whether I’m the person you wanna spend the rest of your life with.”

“Nah, I would’ve married you after our first date if I could’ve.”

Charlotte chuckled and shook her head, small droplets of water spraying everywhere. “We would’ve been skipping about 10 steps there. I want a proposal,” she laughed. “Knowing you, it’ll be something sentimental that makes me break down in tears.”

Thank God she could not see the giant smirk that fell on his face.

“And a big wedding, I assume?”

Charlotte tilted her head as if to contemplate. She knew he expected the answer to be yes, after all most girls dream of a grand wedding. But that had never been her. “Honestly? I was never the girl to dream about the big princess wedding… just the prince,” she teased.

Michael ran a comb through a section of hair, working to detangle it. He was trying to be as gentle as possible, knowing her head still hurt, which meant the whole endeavor took longer than it should have.

“Am I living up to the childhood fantasy?” He asked.

“My wildest dreams couldn’t have conjured you up.”

“I aim to please.” He kissed her shoulder.

“I don’t even really care about planning it. I had to endure J and Lauren’s wedding planning and whew… miserableeee. And they couldn’t even enjoy the day that much. I dunno, I don’t want to be more worried about whether some elaborate affair is going according to plan instead of actually enjoying my wedding day? I wanna be celebrating our love and the first day of our life together. I mean yea, I want a wedding of some sort but it could have 25 people in your backyard. As long as I’m in a drop dead gorgeous dress and you’re waiting on me at the end of the aisle, I honestly don’t need or care about anything else. I’d be fine with a big one if you want one but someone else’s gotta plan it.”

“I’ve never put much thought into my wedding so you won’t get much argument outta me. I would push back on the backyard thing though. Maybe a small destination wedding or a small venue in LA, something like that.”

“I like the sound of that.”

“Speaking of destinations,” he mentioned, shifting gears of the conversation. If they went too much farther down this road, Michael would find a wedding planner to plan a small intimate ceremony for next week. “I think we’ll both finally have some time off in September when you finish here. Let me take you on a trip.”

“Oooo you tryin’ to fly ya girl out?” Michael rolled his eyes at her antics. “Where would you want to go?”

Michael immediately shook his head. His sweet girl was the opposite of decisive. She would let Michael make every decision if she could. And this time, he wanted to go where she wanted to go.

“Nahhh ma, it isn’t to celebrate me. It’s for you. Where do you want to go?”

“It should also be to celebrate us both… a bit delayed sure but we never really did anything to celebrate Creed. That’s your first big leading man blockbuster.” She flipped the script on him.

“Fine, it can be to celebrate us both but you still need to pick.”

“I really hate you,” she laughed. “Well, at least, help me narrow it down. What kind of vacation vibe would you want?”

“Preferably somewhere relaxing where I can have you naked or only in a bikini for most of the trip.”

She could not hide the sly grin on her face at his words, the heat that rose throughout her entire body. She forced the feeling to dampen. They had not had sex yet and given how the other night went, she imagined Michael would pump the brakes again. She understood, but she did not want to deal with the rejection again.

“The Caribbean is an option but September is dead in the middle of hurricane season, so we’d have to be ok with it being canceled potentially.” Michael smiled, he was never one to consider weather patterns before traveling. He barely checked the weather before he stepped outside each day. But of course, Charlotte would think about that. “We could do something like a spot along the Mediterranean? Or something like that. I’ve been wanting to go back to the Amalfi Coast but maybe we should go somewhere we both haven’t been?”

He learned something new about his girl every day. “When did you go there?”

“My first birthday after Shaun… My family surprised me with a vacation there. I had spent most of that whole first year miserable and in bed. The first six months were the hardest. But by the time my birthday came around, I was starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel but still wasn’t there. I was in therapy and still struggling to find me in all of it? And I was just really depressed so the trip was supposed to cheer me up a bit. Lauren, Jazz, one of our other friends, Chelsea, and I all went. And we had a ball,” Michael could feel her entire body light up as she spoke, as if the mere memories of that trip were fuel and power.

“We just ate and drank and ate some more and swam and went on boat rides and just… lived. God, it was the first time I felt uninhibited happiness and relaxation in years. It was kinda my Eat, Pray, Love moment as corny as that is,” she admitted. “One morning, I got up super early and went down to the beach by myself while we were in this town, Ravello. I had this necklace he gave me for my last birthday. Hideous, gaudy silver thing I’d never pick or wear myself. But I couldn’t let it go and clung to that stupid thing since the break up. Anyway, I watched the sun rise and I realized that I’d never be me again. The me before him was dead and gone. But I also realized that maybe that wasn’t a bad thing? Cause the me before him needed that necklace as proof that someone loved me, no matter how hideous and awful that love was. The me before him and during him needed any type of love, no matter the cost of it. And that part of me needed to die. So, instead of trying to resurrect the old me, I decided I would reconnect with the things that made me happy and forge something new. And then I ran into the water and tossed that terrible necklace into the sea. And then I regretted polluting the sea with something that was definitely not biodegradable,” Michael’s deep baritone filled her ears with laughter. “So long way of saying, it just represents new beginnings to me in some way. So even if we don’t go this time around, I’d want to go back with you at some point. But I’d honestly be fine with anywhere as long as I’m with you. So why don’t you just surprise me?”

“Fine. Don’t think I don’t realize you’re using my love of surprises against me.”

She turned and winked at him before he helped her stand and get in the shower to effectively rinse out all of the products. Their afternoon of hair styling continued as she sat between his legs on the couch, Avengers playing on the tv as he moisturized and styled her hair. She savored the help, she hated dealing with her mane of hair. And the intimacy it had created was exactly as she had hoped. And he did an excellent job. Though she could tell his arms were exhausted by the time he finished tying her scarf around her clean and moisturized curls and coils into a pineapple on the top of her head.

“You could’ve been a hairstylist in another life.”

“You didn’t tell me it was such a work out. Boxing didn’t hurt my arms this much,” he laughed.

“Well when you’re prepping for Creed 2 and wanna help me with my hair for extra arm training, let me know. I quite enjoyed not dealing with it for once.”

Her injuries made it difficult to cuddle on the couch as they wanted so Charlotte laid with her head on his lap, his hand resting on her arm as they watched the movie.

“Can I ask you something?” This time it was Michael’s turn, a question that had been on his mind for longer than a few days. He did not know if now was the right time or if there’d ever be a right time. And he did not expect an answer but he wanted her to know he would listen if she was ready to ever share it.

“Of course.”

“And you don’t gotta answer if you don’t want to. But you never told me… what made you finally decide to leave? Was it whatever you dreamed about that night you got sick?”

Charlotte’s eyes clenched shut. It was always a delicate balance. What of Shaun’s brutality to share and what not to. But she knew this was one of those things, the things she needed to learn to trust Michael specifically with. He was home and home was where you could bare it all… your whole soul. He asked and she would answer, no more hiding.

“There’s a lot I haven’t told you about him. I mean a lot of it was the same old same. But somethings, I said I’d never tell anyone, Jackson, Lauren… even you. A-and that nightmare, it was bad, don’t get me wrong. Definitely made the ‘the CIA couldn’t get this out of me,’ shortlist. But the breaking point was, he saw me talking to a reporter after a show one night and thought I was cheating, God he accused me of cheating like twice a week, which just made me so upset. We argued all the way home. He asked me if I wanted to leave him a-and in my frustration and anger, I told him he wasn’t giving me many reasons to stay. Looking back, it was a real stupid thing to say, like pouring gasoline on a fire. But I w-was just so tired, tired of feeling like I was killing myself every day to be perfect and love him and getting so much pain thrown back at me. When we got home, he beat me. T-that wasn’t the bad part, that was par for the course. But then… he dragged me out onto our 11th story balcony. He picked me up and threatened to throw me off until I swore I’d never leave.”

She watched as his entire body stiffened, his fists clenching with anger. She wanted to offer him some assurance, something to ease the feelings that brewed but there was not really anything that could be said. That story and her life just were what they were, upsetting and enraging and all.

“He played God with my life for a few minutes, though it felt like an eternity, my body balancing on the railing like a rag doll with only him holding me there. There was one point, I tipped so far back, I actually thought he had let go and I s-saw my whole life flash before my eyes. I always thought people were being dramatic when they said that. But it’s true. Like a movie in fast forward and all I saw was every mistake that led me to that moment. When he was satisfied that I had begged for my life enough, he let me down and drug me back inside to finish the night. He knew I didn’t have much fight left in me after that,” she whispered, her hand wiping a tear. “Ugh,” she could not contain the groan of frustration at her own emotions. She hated that he still had this effect on her. “I don’t know why I’m crying over this o-old shit,” she shook her head. “He doesn’t deserve it. A-anyway, I decided that the next day that I had to leave or I’d d-die. I made a p-plan and left a week later.”

“I’m sorry, honeybee.” There were no other words he could offer, though those sounded inadequate in the space. With every story she told him, he felt like a layer of the complex onion that was her peeled back. “I should’ve killed him,” he muttered, more to himself than to her. And it was true. The fact that he still drew breath was enraging, another thing he felt guilty for. For not ending the monster that haunted her.

Charlotte reached over and grabbed his hand, their fingers interlocking. “Your soul is too good to be tainted by him. Besides, you did quite a number on him from what I heard. I didn’t know you had hands like that in real life, baby Creed,” she teased, thankful her joke caused a small smile to grace his features. “God, I wish I could’ve seen it… Saying that makes me feel like a terrible person,” her head fell into her hand, propped up against the back of the couch. “But j-just to see him, for once, feel a fraction of what I felt. Feels like a bit of justice for it all.”

“That doesn’t make you a terrible person. You’re far from a terrible person. If he dropped dead tomorrow, you would be justified if you threw a damn party. Hell, I would throw a party and I only met him once. You’re allowed to want justice for all of it.”

“Thanks.” She shifted, bringing her feet under her. “You know what’s crazy about it? I always regretted him… Regretted meeting him, agreeing to that first date, staying through all of that. B-but the last couple days, I’ve been thinking about my life right now… the last few months are the first time that I’ve felt like I was at home, like I know who I am and my soul is at peace. It’s pretty damn good. A little damaged around the edges, sure, but still so amazing that… If I had to go back and do it all again, I know in my soul I-I’d walk that same jagged path through all the pain, a-and landmines, and everything else if it was what I needed to do to end up here again, if it meant I would find home again.”

“And where’s home?” his voice was quiet as if he was worried the answer would not be what he expected, as if he were afraid to hear it.

Charlotte tilted her head to study him, her hand going to cup his cheek, the scruff of his beard tickling her palm.

“You.”

Waves of guilt crashed over him, causing a tear to fall. The first one he had shed since the hospital. Charlotte whisked it away with her thumb.

“Not feelin’ like I deserve that right now. You were in trouble and I didn’t even see it till it was too late. I never should’ve left you here. I couldn’t even keep you safe. What kinda fuckin’ home is that?”

The guilt in his voice broke her heart. She moved, slowly and stiffly, but moved to slide into his lap. Her hands rested on his shoulders as she looked at him.

“Look at me.” It was her turn to demand as he so often did, demand that he overcome the guilt and shame that forced his eyes away from hers. She knew it was difficult, had struggled to find his eyes too many times for fear she would see confirmation of her guilt, her shame, her unworthiness. But it was never there and he would not find that in her eyes today either.

“Every single time I’ve ever needed you, you were right on time. This was no exception. The truth is, you’ve been keeping me safe since the day I met you. I was so lost before I met you. I-I had healed my heart a-and my mind and my body as best I could. But my soul, I had vowed never to let someone so close to it again, had boarded it up with walls so high it would be impossible to let someone in again. To let someone see me again. And that was fuckin’ lonely,” she admitted. “A-and exhausting to force myself to keep my guards up like that, to deny everything I’d always wanted… a partner who saw me in my entirety and loved me for all of it. But I did it b-because it w-was better than the alternative. A-And then I met you. And you instantly knew the me I hid from everyone, you knew my soul and what it needed to finally mend. And you slowly but surely broke down every wall and barrier I had fought so hard to keep up so you could ensure I got what I needed, a safe place to land. And every day since, you’ve seen my soul in its entirety, all its light and darkness, its hopes and fears, its permanently damaged pieces and those that’ve healed. And you’ve loved me beyond my wildest dreams for it all. You are my peace and my solace and my safety every moment… that is the best home I could’ve ever hoped for.”

She wiped her tears that fell before offering. “He w-wanted me to deny t-that. Before he…” she lifted her own eyes to the ceiling as she re-lived that moment. “Told me it was him or no one, wanted me to tell him I would c-choose him. And I couldn’t. It’s insane,” she acknowledged. “And I knew you’d p-probably tell me just to lie to save myself. But I couldn’t deny what I’ve known to be true since we kissed in your apartment in Philly. You are it for me. You are my choice every day, every time, no matter.”

His lips crashed against hers, his arms wrapping around her tightly to pull her into his chest. Michael knew the depths of Charlotte’s love for him without a doubt. And he loved receiving a tear-inducing speech about it as much as he enjoyed doling them out on her. However, to know that, even in what could’ve been her last moments, she chose to love him loudly and unapologetically, hit his soul harder than he had ever experienced before.

No more words passed between them, each touch was a silent declaration of love between them that they did not have the words to capture. The day had laid them both bare in a way they had never experienced before or expected. And it was not their trauma guiding them, it was pure love. A desire and need to connect mind, body, and soul.

“You want… need me to stop?” He whispered as she sucked on the soft skin of his neck. In his heart, he knew the answer before the words left his mouth. He could tell in her movements that stopping would be near impossible this time. But he had to check, had to double check before they went down this road.

She immediately shook her head. Charlotte’s brain was mush, a complete fog of desire, need, and pleasure as she kissed every inch of exposed skin she could find. She had never yearned for a person as much as she yearned for the man beneath her. She wanted everything, all of him. She knew now, in hindsight, that the first night, she had wanted him for all the wrong reasons. And she was grateful that he, once again, saved her from herself. But now, in this moment, she wanted to feel him, feel his gentle touch and caress, and savor every moment of his love for her. And she wanted him to feel her, not her brokenness and fear, but the life pumping through her veins, the love she held for him, that he was her choice.

“No,” she whispered back, he was thankful to hear that word leave her lips. “Do you wanna stop?”

“Not this time.”

“Good.”

Michael immediately wrapped his hands behind her thighs and hoisted her up to carry her into their bedroom. She let him guide her to their bed, laying her down gently as he removed both of their clothes. Charlotte instinctively wanted to shrink up and cover herself, hyper aware of the bruises that littered her form.

Sensing her thoughts, Michael immediately leaned over her and started to press his lips to each one, gentle and lingering kisses on every cut, scrap, and bruise that sent jolts of electricity through her form. A silent but touching reminder that she survived and told her he did not care how they looked. He worked his way down her body slowly but this time it was not the usual teasing he liked to do. He simply wanted to savor every second of it.

He handled her with such care, as if she were perfectly sculpted glass that would shatter if he pushed too hard, too fast. She was not fragile, he knew that. She was strong and powerful. But her wounds were fresh. Fresh enough that he used every moment to assure her that his touch was different, would never hurt her as he had, and would never treat her body and soul with such pain and callousness. It had taken great restraint not to taste her or bury himself inside her the last few days, to be as close to her as he could, feel the life pumping in her veins. But she needed time and so did he, to reckon with what they both almost lost.

He could feel the frenzy beneath him as he worked, her body writhing with silent pleas that begged for more. But he did not want to rush. He remembered their first time, slow and measured as he took her apart piece by piece. He understood the impulse to rush but they had time, he kept reminding himself. Time with each other.

He returned to her lips, a quiet directive to slow down landing on her ears.

“Slow down, baby,” he muttered, “Slow down.” Their foreheads rested against each other as he forced her to take a breath.

“I need…” her words trailed off as she whimpered, her fingers twisted in the soft fabric of his t-shirt as if he’d turn to dust before her eyes if she let go of him. Her eyes searched his for understanding, that he knew exactly what she so desperately needed.

“I know, I know.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek, her head leaning into it to find his lips again. “Hey, hey. Look at me.” Their eyes connected, brimming with tears as she took in his undying love for her. “We’re both here, safe and sound, and no one’s going anywhere. I promise. Let me take care of you.”

At her nods, he resumed his touching until he found himself at the treasure trove between her thighs, her flower dripping and begging to be touched by the man she loved. And that was all he needed as he spread her legs and wrapped his lips around her bud.

Charlotte’s back immediately arched off the bed as he feasted on her. It had only been days but she had missed the feeling of his tongue on her and inside her. He spelled out his love for her in gentle caresses that made her head spin.

She melted against his mouth like chocolate, her cries of pleasure crescendoing with every movement of his skilled tongue.

“That’s it baby, let me hear you.” He slid two fingers inside of her, increasing the sensations that already threatened to overwhelm her.

Charlotte felt as if her body was in overdrive. Her hips rocked to meet every thrust of his hand, her thighs clamped around his head as he feasted on her. It did not matter how many times his mouth found its way to her core, he managed to reduce her to a mewling puddle begging for more, every time.

And usually, she let him stay between her thighs as long as he wanted, pulling out as many climaxes as he could. But this time, she needed more. She knew he wanted to take his time, take her apart and put her back together. But she could not wait. Her soul could not wait. She needed to feel him inside her. So much had been taken from her, so much had left her feeling empty in this life until Michael. Michael filled her up where her past and present trauma only drained her. And right now, she wanted to be filled. The emptiness ached and she wanted to be filled to the brim and overflow.

She pulled him from between her thighs, bringing his lips to hers. She relished in the taste of herself but only for a moment before she whispered.

“I need you. Inside me. I c-can’t… can’t wait,” she panted. “W-we have all night b-but I need to feel you now.”

He acquiesced, the vulnerability in her voice more than enough to forgo his original plan.

He kept her eyes on his as he thrust inside of her slowly. Charlotte moaned at the delicious stretch he always provided. Months, it had been months since she first felt that stretch and it still caused a gasp to escape her lips, her eyes to see stars, and every thought in her head to shatter.

“J-Just like that,” she whimpered, all her senses squarely focused on him and the pleasure he graciously provided. All she could feel was the sparks of bliss at the end of every stroke and the trail of fire that marked where his hands roamed as he explored her body. All she could hear were the symphony of their moans, his deep grunts as he fucked her and her screams of pleasure. All she could see were his brown eyes, a look in them that made her own eyes mist with tears. She did not know why she was crying, whether it be from the intense pleasure or the look in his eye, a look that no man before him had ever given her, a look she would have never deemed herself worthy of. The look of pure love and adoration.

Michael’s hips drove into her over, a primal growl escaping him as her muscles clenched around him repeatedly as he curved into her g-spot, their bodies made for each other. His eyes never left hers with every push forward and retreat.

As he pulled out every trick he could think of to please her, pour his love into her, Michael could not help but think about how he almost lost this. How he almost lost her. He had plans for this insanely beautiful woman beneath… plans to grow old with her, to celebrate every milestone and moment of his life and hers together, to build a life and family with her. And all of it could’ve been gone. He had never experienced this before, a year ago he could not even convince Charlotte to go out on a date with him but now? He could not fathom his life without her. And that brief moment where he had to consider such a life… it had shattered him in ways he never knew a person could be shattered.

“I love you,” his voice shook as tears sprang to his eyes. “Fuck, I love you so much.”

“I-I l-love… you,” she moaned back, her words choppy and broken between her pants and moans.

His mind drifted to the ring that he kept stashed in his bedside table, hidden in a box he knew Charlotte would never bother to open or examine closely. A ring he had started to design the day after that gala, the night she told him about her ex and decided to overcome her fears to choose him.

He knew she did not believe him when he said he had known he wanted to marry her since then. It sounded far-fetched, he recognized, to know that so early. Afterall, his friends called him foolish for designing and buying a ring for a woman who rejected him mere months prior. “Take your time,” they had all cautioned. “Make sure she is what you want.” But Charlotte was the one thing, the only thing, in this universe that he did not need time to consider, that he knew without a shadow of a doubt that he wanted. And he used this moment, every second spent in her sanctuary to show her how deeply his love for her ran, past his mind, past his heart. He loved her with every fiber of his soul.

“You know how beautiful you are?” He asked as he draped her legs over his shoulder and leaned over to rest his forehead against hers. Charlotte gasped at the angle, he had not changed his pace one bit but this position allowed him to reach the depths of her pleasure center. Those tears she had kept in now spilled over as his words filled her heart and he filled her body with every stroke. That ache of emptiness? Gone. She was overflowing. “Do you know how much… I love you?”

She cried out, unable to form real words or thoughts beyond obscenities and his name, which flowed without thought from her lips.

“I’ll spend every day of my life loving you, keeping you safe. There’s nothing in this world I won’t do for you, Els. Nothing. ” His word was punctuated by a particularly deep thrust that turned Charlotte into a babbling mess as she came. “That’s it, baby. Cum for me.”

“More. Harder. Everything you have, please,” her voice was strained, trying to speak while her body calmed down again. She understood his gentleness, appreciated it. But now, she wanted to feel him in the depths of her bones. She was his and she wanted to feel that in every ounce of her being.

Michael helped her flip over onto her stomach, this time instructing her to hold onto the headboard so she did not have to lay on the bed. He allowed her a moment to situate herself in the position he so enjoyed. He still practiced some restraint, refusing to unleash his usual power onto her still healing body. But he loosened the reins just enough to give her what she wanted and needed.

There was nothing slow about how he rammed into her, her body thrusting forward with every delicious slam of his hips into hers. She was thankful he thought of the headboard, giving her the leverage laying face down on the bed would not have and protecting her bruises.

“Yes! Y-Yes! T-thank you,” she moaned out as he fucked her with abandon. She surrendered to the pleasure, her screams bouncing off the walls as he made her cum again and again and again.

He took her in any and every position that would not cause her pain. He buried his face between her legs and feasted off of her before plunging into her again, Charlotte allowing her body to be at his mercy. They had all night and all the time in the world and she wanted him to use every moment of it.

***

When Charlotte stirred again, she glanced over to find Michael sound asleep next to her. It was still dark outside, the clock reading 4:30 am. She laid there for a few moments, letting the soft sounds of Michael’s soft snores fill her ears. She turned and watched him for a few moments, the steady rise and fall of his chest. As she listened to him, the final part of a song she had been writing swelled in her heart. And when the pen called her, she did not dare ignore it. As quietly as she could, she climbed out of their bed and wrapped herself in her robe.

She tiptoed out of their room and into the living room, grabbing her pen and notebook before retreating to the balcony of their apartment. She had rarely been out here, her own fear of them and the frigid New York winters keeping her from enjoying this one feature of their home. But tonight, not even her past or the cold chill could send her back inside. She curled up in a blanket in one of the chairs as she listened to the bustling sounds of the city fill her ears.

It did not matter what time of day it was, New York City was always awake, always moving, always alive. Her lungs breathed in as much of the frigid air as they could before she breathed it back out. She knew she could not stay out there too long, it was freezing. But she also knew this was the only spot her singing would not wake up her sleeping boyfriend.

Baby, the sound of you

Better than a harmony

I want you off my mind

And on me

Holding me closer than we've ever been before

This ain't a dream

You're here with me

Boy, it don't get no better than you

For you, I wanna take my time

All night

She closed her eyes, curled in a small ball, as her siren song filled the night sky though she knew no one but her and God would ever hear it. But that was fine, she preferred it. This was just for her, just for her to commemorate the love she found and was grateful to God for.

I wanna love you in every kind of way

I wanna please you, no matter how long it takes

If the world should end tomorrow and we only have today

I'm gonna love you in every kind of way

Give you all, give you all of me

Her eyes only opened at the faint creaks of a door, surprised to find Michael standing in the doorway of the balcony as she finished the last line. However, as she started to stand and finish singing, he shook his head.

“Don’t stop. I wanna hear you.”

And so she continued, this time, her eyes on his as she finished her song, the second verse she had been struggling with flowing from her lips as if it had lived in her heart all along.

When you need it

'Cause I need it

I wanna fall like your favorite season

I'll never get up

Stay here forever, babe

It don't get no better than this

Your kiss

I wanna love you in every kind of way

I wanna please you, no matter how long it takes

If the world should end tomorrow and we only have today

I'm gonna love you in every kind of way

I wanna love you in every kind of way

I wanna please you, no matter how long it takes

If the world should end tomorrow and we only have today

I'm gonna love you in every kind of way

When she was finished, she sat up in the chair and glanced at him.

“I’m sorry, thought going out here wouldn’t wake you.”

He shook his head. “Bed’s cold without you, went looking for you and heard your voice. Wanted to hear you.”

She smiled. “I’m glad you heard it… it was about you anyway,” she winked. “Back to bed?”

“Umm… before we g-go,” he stammered slightly, Charlotte surprised to find a nervous energy suddenly surrounding him. He was usually so confident and assured, nervous was a rare emotion on him. “I have something for you.” He meandered to the balcony railing, standing directly in front of her before he pulled out the arm that he had bent behind his back, a small black velvet box in his hand.

“You didn’t need to get me anything,” she offered with a small smile. If he had not been so nervous, he would have laughed at how she missed the obvious. The size of the box really only lent itself to one thing and she had not picked up on it yet. “Though I’m sure it’s beautiful.”

He slid the box into her hand, Charlotte expecting to find a necklace or pair of earrings or something small nestled in the luxury box. However, all the wind seemed to knock out of her as she opened to find a sparkling and mesmerizing engagement ring, a giant pear shaped diamond set in the center with elegant but subtle diamonds nestled in the rose gold band around it. It was simple and yet, the most gorgeous ring she had ever seen in her life.

She glanced up from the box to find Michael in front of her on one knee. Every question that rose to her lips immediately vanished, caught in her throat as shock swept all of her senses. Her heart was beating so hard, she wondered if it was possible for it to beat straight out of her chest.

“A-are you serious? I-If this is j-just a dream…” she whispered, her eyes moving to the sky as if she was talking to God.

“N-No, this is real. Charlotte, I’ve loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you. Every day, you love me with your whole being. You support my dreams, however far fetched and foolish they may seem, you push me to be the best man I can be. Not just for you and my family but for myself. With you, I’ve always been right at home. Falling in love with you is both the greatest decision of my life and the easiest one I’ve ever made. And every day, I thank God for bringing you and your beauty, your laugh, your spirit into my life. I don’t know what the future looks like, I don’t know how much time we have with each other. But I know that I want to spend every moment of my life loving you and being loved by you. So, this is me being sentimental and making you break down in tears,” he joked to their earlier conversations. “Charlotte Elsbeth Bennet, will you marry me?”

Charlotte’s breathing was choppy as she took in his words. Tears flowed earnestly as she tried to form a sentence.

“M-Michael… God I love you so much. B-But are you s-sure about this? I k-know with everything that’s happened… W-we haven’t even been together for a year. Are you s-sure I’m what you want?”

“I’ve had this ring for months… I started designing it the day after the gala last summer. I was waiting for the perfect moment, wanting to plan the perfect proposal for you back in LA. But what happened reminded me that I don’t want to waste our time planning perfect or ideal moments. I just want to live in all those moments with you, by my side. All day, something kept pulling me to this ring, telling me that this was our moment. And I think it’s because our best moments, the realest ones for us, are just us… being us, comfortable and safe with each other. No planning, no overthinking, no obsessing. Just being home with each other. So here I am, unsure about so much, the future and where this life will take me and us. But this moment,” his hand rubbed her knee, her face covered by both her hands as she quietly cried. “This decision is the surest I’ve ever been in my life. I am sure about you. I’ve never been so certain that you were the woman for me. Marry me.”

Charlotte immediately launched herself from her seat and into his arms, the small box still wrapped tightly in her hand as she held him.

“I love you so much,” she whispered before kissing him, her body resting on his bent knee.

“I love you too…” he paused, realizing he never actually heard the magic word. “So is that a yes… or?”

She let out a watery laugh. “A million times, yes! Yes, yes, yes!” The box fell in her lap as she cupped his face in her hands. “ Now you’re really stuck with me, Mr. Jordan.” she teased as her hands wiped the tears that flowed earnestly from her eyes.

He took the box from her and slid the ring on her finger, his heart swelling at how she admired the piece. She was not much of a jewelry wearer so he went for a ring that was simple, one she would not mind wearing every day, but was worthy of her hand.

He wiped a tear from his eye and chuckled. “Good, that’s what I was hoping for. Mrs. Jordan has a nice ring to it.” He pressed his lips to her ring finger. His deep baritone filled the cold air as he let out an excited yell, standing and spinning Charlotte around. “Wanna go to the courthouse tomorrow?”

“Slow downnnnn. Another surprise this week might actually kill me,” she laughed. “Anndddd I wanna be my usual flawless self for our wedding photos,” she gestured toward her bruised face.

“You’re always flawless to me.”

“Alright I already said yes, don’t lay it on so thick,” she offered in jest, causing him to pepper her face with kisses.

“Well how about I take you back to bed and warm you up and I can make you say yes a couple more times?”

She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, “I think I’d rather you make me scream it.”

“Oh that was always the plan.”

And before she knew it, Michael had her on her back, their hands interlaced on the pillow as he made her scream that beautiful word over and over again until the sun came up.

Tag List: @certifiedlesbianbaddie @bangtanxmegan @reelwriter19 @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @hi888888sworld @msniaimani @destinio1 @lynaye1993 @chaoticevilbakugo @blackerthings @pipsqueak-98 @miyuhpapayuh @passionxwrites @gopaperless @injerafiend

A/N: Our babiesssssss!! I went back and forth on the proposal scene for a while lol and this just felt right so I hope you all enjoyed it! Every Kind of Way by HER is one of my favorite songs. This is not the end of our story buttttt we are getting close. Just three or four more chapters to go.

Drop a comment and let me know what you think/let me know if you want to be tagged!

#black writers #michael b jordan #michael b jordan x oc #mbjordanedit #michael b jordan x reader #creed 3 #black panther #michael b jordan fanfic #adonis creed #creed iii #mbj fanfic #mbjedit #michael b jordan smut

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