#but there are literally two other bits of fanart of him on the entire internet

[dionmagnus]

[soullessjack]

so before I conk out for the night I wanna try and explain all the more complicated stuff with baby!jack and like, how exactly it is more complicated, because not only do I think my own temper tends to make me address it very accusingly and in bad-faith, but also it’s just important to know in the long run. I really hope this is actually worth it because I am sadly very used to wasting my words on people who do not want to listen and also because I’m sleepy and delaying it to make this.

•••

first and foremost, jack being autistic was not something anybody in the show was planning or intending for his character. it wasn’t something alcal had in his head to portray jack and it wasn’t something he was directed to portray. jack is very much a case of what I call accidental autism, or having autism coding; all of the traits that were meant to indicate that he’s a supernatural being wound up aligning very well with autistic traits (as is the case with many nonhuman characters like robots or aliens). then, autistic people in the fandom pointed it out and made it a popular headcanon, which was then brought up to alcal at a convention and basically confirmed/canonized from there.

i wasn’t on tumblr in 2017 (unless you count opening link tabs from other websites) so I wasn’t “there” for babyjack, but you don’t really have to be there to get it. guy is chronologically three years old but an adult in every other way because supernatural creature logic, people wonder “hey what if he was his actual age.” and it’s cute for a little bit, it’s a chance for the poor heavily traumatized guy to catch a break. you see the appeal of that sort of content. nobody’s doing it with bad intentions or even the remotest idea of jack being autistic.

but even though I wasn’t on tumblr for jacks appearance on the show, again I did have minor access to tumblr posts via Pinterest and links, so I could see the “discussions” and whatever. and let me tell you. I was thirteen years old. in eighth grade. when he showed up. and even then I noticed this .. pattern? in the fanart and the talk and all and I remember specifically thinking “yeah I get it he’s baby, but can we actually talk about him” because literally nobody as far as I could see was doing it.

that was six-almost-seven years ago. I am now 19 years old, almost two years graduated from high school, and save for a few blogs (bless u for your work folks), there is still a shocking amount of ppl who just Do Not think about jack with any sort of nuance or complexity. who don’t even engage w his character unless he’s a babyI also didn’t keep up with babyjack cuz it never appealed to me in the first place, But as i got more engrossed in the fandom i saw that it pretty much became the only content being made for jacks character. no in depth discussion or actual canon fanart or anything like that for jack unless u go to a very tiny cobwebby corner of the fandom basically.

•••

if you’re wondering how this comes back to jack being autistic, don’t worry. this is the introduction to that topic. so reiterating the first two things:

in 2017 jack is immediately clocked as precious baby smol bean must protecc material and his whole age situation + all the trauma he basically speedruns leads to au’s where he matches his chronological age. poor boy never stood a chance at being examined critically as a complex person.

(also this is not a time-lined post but it’s very important to add 2017 to gauge the span of this content and also the internet fandom culture of that era).

somewhere down the line autistic fans pick up on Jack’s traits and connect it to our own traits. hashtag autistic jack kline is real and eventually it reaches the silly actor man alcal and the long short of his answer is “representation and having that kind of connection is important so if you think he’s autistic then he’s autistic.” canon by destiel rules basically

However, the entire time that jack is being recognized as autistic and praised/appreciated as representation, people are still going strong with baby!jack content, so strong in fact that it’s insisted as actual canon by some. and I kind of get it. they’re two lil headcanon niches and aren’t gonna cross paths a whole lot. but they still do because it’s the same character and people are sort of starting to connect the dots that Hey This Is Kind Of Weird. autism gang notices that baby gang’s reasoning for Jack being a baby (besides the age) is just his autistic traits. not great! not fun! people start making tiny criticisms of it here and there.

and of course there’s people in the fandom who want to Fuck The Guy and that totally does not pour gasoline on the fire when the discourse is about whether or not the Guy In Question is a mentally stunted large child or just a really autistic teenager.

.

I can’t finish this post I’m sorry I am Not going to bed at 3am again. TLDR every criticism is ignored and the babyjack people keep doing their thang and the really really annoying ones insist it’s canon and call u a pedophile if u want to fuck the guy and just refuse to really acknowledge that they are being ableist at the point in time after he is established to be autistic and also there’s multiple points in the show that literally make it so obvious he’s an adult but no. Ignore whatever u want to pretend he’s a baby.

TLDR again accidentally autistic character creates accidental ableism that people keep double downing on and NOW the general problem is that they are doubling down.

lastly. a LOT of you really and truly need to reconsider why the only way you are willing or able to engage with an autistic teenager character is if they are an infant with absolutely no semblance of personality or development from the actual show AND being specifically depicted this way in order to create the idea of your ship or found family being domestic AND you continuously ignore criticisms of it by autistic people who are telling you it is harmful and rooted in some bad shit. you really really truly genuinely no exaggeration really need to do some thinking about why the fuck you’re doing all that. Goodnight everybody

[bangobeep]

A Love Letter to Jazzpunk, by Ed

It's crazy how fast time can go by when you're enjoying yourself. It's been about three years since I first encountered this game, and I could not be happier with where it's brought me. I've learned so much and met so many wonderful people through it.

For a game that can be played in 2 hours and a half, it sure is complex; so full of jokes and content that can take literal hours to be taken apart. It's brought me closer to an appreciation of things like abstract art, the cyberpunk genre, analog tech, vintage clothing, suits, among a few others.

I remember my first interaction with the game. Funnily enough, it was not through Ranboo like what I usually tell. Back in the day, 2021, I was a mere high school student who, to cope with the horrors of the pandemic, used to be into the DSMP. Woo. Yeah. No shame in admittance. Well, only a little bit.

There was this one cosplayer I used to follow on TikTok (if I recall correctly, their name is Fern [they/them]); mainly because of their c!Foolish cosplay. I was drawn to them and their energy and the way they portrayed characters! So, naturally, I followed them and interacted with their videos every now and then.

On the 23rd of June of 2021, I found myself doom-scrolling on the app (as one does), and I came across one of their videos, though this one was not from any media I knew or was used to watching from them.

The song spy? by WHOKILLEDXIX started playing, and there he was. Glasses and (makeshift) orange tie. Business card. Coat. A little unhinged, yet classy. The Editor.

I feel as if I was so drawn to him because of what I wanted to do after high school. I wanted to study literature in college to become an editor myself! I wanted to correct people's texts, be annoying about it and get paid for it! And would you look at that, the name of the guy is quite literally The Editor. LOL.

As the days went by, I found myself going back to the video, waiting for them to upload more, to feed into my curiosity. I loved the video I saw so much I saved it to my gallery the exact same day I saw it.

Then came the second one, with actual footage from the game. "Quick, look behind you." The Director says, and the camera cuts to the ground, and Fern's shoes. I heard their voices for the first time. "Improvise, I know you'll do well by me." He says again, and I grow ever so drawn to it. Five videos are more than enough. And while I don't look it up just yet, it's in my head.

Until the 25th of July 2021! Like I said, I used to be into the DSMP, though by then, the fixation was fading, and I found myself in that limbo where nothing quite caught my attention. On that day, Ranboo tweeted something about a Jazzpunk stream, and it instantly caught my attention. I was quick to put down anything I was doing to find out what it really was.

And though I was not particularly interested in them, or their streams anymore, I was hooked! I was not the kind to stay for an entire stream, yet there I was. Two hours and thirty something minutes of being beamed in the brain with pure madness.

And then it was over. And I found myself gripping every single piece of fanart I could find with my bare hands, screaming because there had got to be more, right? There had to be more.

And there was! That's when Tumblr became my main form of internet presence. First was Instagram, then came Twitter, and well, would you look at that, I made it here.

I started drawing. I must admit, my first few drawings were atrocious, but looking back on them now, I feel proud. People say that when you fixate on something, your art develops as you go, and they're right!

A year and a half are all my prior account lasted. By the same name. I made a stupid joke to my boyfriend, sending one (1) spam message in their ask box and it was gone! And so, bangobeep 2.0 came to fruition. But that's not the point.

Back when I first got into the game, the need for connection was strong. I found myself craving the partnership; the long, late-night talks about little details of the game, the roleplaying, the scenario thinking, and so the Jazzpunk server came to life on the 13th of August 2021. Named Jazzpunk Moment. I sent a DM to the people I saw most often in the tag back then: Pangolin-404 and Vendotlover, both of which I admired very much!

I remember looking at their art and reading their fanfics and thinking to myself: 'Wow, what I'd give to be able to talk to the cool kids!' And well, I did! I talked to both, and they both agreed to give me their discord, after which they (and a few others with time) joined the server.

Some time after that, I befriended them personally through our mutual love for the game and similar interests, as well as through general chitter chatter about me being hyperactive when on caffeine, 404/Caligula telling me about Sammy Lawrence from Bendy and the Ink Machine, and Ven telling me of xeir OC whose name came from Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss. I’m happy to say nowadays I still talk to both Caligula and Ven very often. In fact! I consider Cali one of my best friends, and I am kinda gay dating Ven. So, you know. Fun things bring fun people together. :)

Then came around people like Jazz Jazzanon, Zippy Zippycup, Jazzhands, Noah, Wither, and a couple others that, while I won’t mention, made this experience something wonderful for me.

I can’t quite find the words to express this something so dear to me. Jazzpunk, as short as it is, changed my life in ways I could’ve never imagined. I’ve started researching things I thought I’d never be into, started books I loved, got into music I had never listened to before, and it all helped build me as a person these three years. It’s brought me unimaginable amounts of comfort and joy, and I don’t think I’ll ever find something else that will make me feel this whole.

I could go on and on about how I have projected so many little aspects of my life onto my interpretation of it. About how the way I interpret Polyblank is highly influenced by those I love. About how the paintings in The Editor’s house fit him and his personality, but those are topics for another day.

The world out there is wacky and crazy, and Jazzpunk does a great job at feeding into the fact it can be strange, it can be difficult, and it can be fun.

So, to 10 years of community, 10 years of happiness, 10 years of a game that will stay with me forever, and many more to come!

Thank you, Jazzpunk.

[halliescomut]

KinnPorsche Week 2022- Day 3: Favorite Couple

I did you a bit of a favor today and chose not to write a full thesis and I MADE YOU SOMETHING! (I don't know that it should be called fanart; I'm an internet old and I would just categorize it as a photo manip, but idk.)

So clearly, my chosen couple for this is Kim x Chay. I 'm not going to say they're the best couple, and technically, by the end of season one, they're not really a couple anymore, but their story just really hits me. It hits me because for both of them it's their first love. Like, there is an age difference there (of about 4 years I'm guessing) and initially I think we assume that because Kim is older, more worldly, he would have experienced love before, but I don't think that's true. I think Kim has had romantic/sexual relationships, but those don't have to involve love. I think due to his upbringing he would reflexively keep people at a distance, and I especially think he would avoid even the possibility of a true connection after Kinn's experience with Tawan. (I have my own headcanons about Kim's feelings being used against him by his father, and how his past has affected him, but I won't get into those here.) I think the lyrics for Why Don't You Stay pretty clearly express this as well:

All this time I sink, drowning like a stone - Tryna close my eyes, shut my ears on this throne - Losing my way home, then you came along - Everywhere we are, felt like where I belong - Lost in your eyes there was no place I could hide - Take me inside and let me live in your mind - No pain tonight, this place is reserved for only you and I - 'Cause I wanna stay on your side - Even if the world come crashing down tonight, we'll be fine - Hold me close and we'll just leave it all behind - Why don't you stay

My point is that, we are watching two people truly fall in love for the first time with Kim and Chay, and it's unique from the other couples of the series because Chay is so unguarded. And you're rooting for them, and Chay is this adorable piece of sentient sunshine and Kim has always felt like he's drowning in darkness and he's desperate for that light. And you know Chay is lonely, and you know Kim is lonely and you just want them to feel seen, and heard, and important, just for being who they are. So as noted in the quote in the picture, with first love you open yourself more than any other time. Because at that point you've never been hurt by a romantic partner, you've never experienced that loss, so you don't hold back the way you do every future time. And this type of love is so wonderfully portrayed in the series. Like it's heartbreaking to watch, not because you know they won't work, but just because we're all watching this knowing that first loves so rarely turn into only loves. Like, we kind of know the likely ending, but we're still hoping so hard.

I also really love the connection with music for them. There's a quote "where words fail, music speaks" (Hans Christian Anderson, apparently, who would have thought) and that's definitely a central theme in their love story. Chay's first connection to Kim is through his music, and, yes there's the fanboy aspect, but as Kim can't help but open up, Chay's feelings clearly become more than just idol worship. Like, yes without a full understanding of who Kim is, there's no possibility of a workable relationship, but my point is that by episode 12 Chay's feelings were definitely about more than just 'loving his music idol.' (gif credit to : julielilac )

And then we have Kim, who's probably dealing with someone for the first time who has a genuine interest in him as a person. He's literally spent his entire life being used as a pawn, being seen only as his name, a representative of his family, and then as WiK he's in this new position where he's more a product than a person. And remember that music connection; Chay loves the emotions in Kim's music, and he wants to know the person who made it. It's not just about WiK being famous. Of course Kim would find it incredibly hard to turn away from someone who SEES him, who WANTS to see him.

Watching Kim go through those moments over and over again where he's telling himself 'the best thing for Chay is for me to go', and warring with his heart because he doesn't want that. And like his siblings, he's never had the opportunity or ability to just allow himself to have something that's just for him.

I also do really like the creative decision of the show to present the depth of the relationship after it's already over. Like, you're watching these sweet moments for 7 episodes and then those last two where you fully get a glimpse of just how deep their connection had become, and your heart's broken all over again. It's just so well done.

I'm gonna stop here, because I should, and continuing on is just going to turn into character profiles, and that's not what this post is about. Special thanks to Jeff and Barcode for acting absolutely beautifully in this show. Absolutely amazing work.

Also, if you'd like maybe some insight into how I see Kim and this particular love story, I do have a songfic up (link). I'm working on a second chapter from Chay's perspective, but spending several hours a day writing these KP week posts is slowing me down a little.

[voidsung-icefire]

Is shipping ok?

I’m sorry if this might evolve into something really different about half way through. I am very frustrated by things I have been seeing for a while now and I just want to get it out of the way.

So shipping. Yes. Taking fictional characters and imagining them in relationships of various sorts. There are so many different reasons to ship, from thinking that the pairing has a lot of potential in canon, to simply thinking the two characters look attractive and wanting to enjoy some spicy art of them. There are as many different reasons to ship as there are ships. So...is shipping ever a bad thing?

It can be. It can definitely be in certain situations. The first being using it to taunt someone. If the only reason for your ship is so you can shove it in the face of someone you know doesn’t like it, then this is wrong. An example of this would be some people who ship Tracer with Soldier76 only so they can “fight back” against the LGBT community by annoying them with their art work. These shippers are not good. The second situation is a bully shipper, a person that goes and imposes their ship as if it had supreme value over others. Attacking people with different ships online, going as far as to attack creators of the original work because they believe their ship is somehow more important than what the original creator of the characers feels. An example would be certain Lapidot shippers who bullied a Steven Universe writer over the internet relentlessly because the characters were shown to be only friends in an episode she had a hand in writing. These behaviours are unacceptable.

But are their ships the same?

No. Of course not. The reason behind these specific shippers shipping, and the behaviour they had towards others are wrong, cruel and entitled. But others may like these pairings for different reasons and behave in a well mannered, polite and kind way towards others. It is not wrong for them to like these things. It is not the ships that are bad in this case, it is the behaviour of the people that is wrong.

Overall, shipping is ok. It is not canon. It is a fan creation. One can recognize the canon, appreciate it, and still make art of a different ship on the side for a multitude of reasons. And that’s ok. Maybe a canon pairing wasn’t to your taste, like how Katara ended with Aang in the Last Airbender. Maybe you would have liked her to be with Zuko more. You know that Aang was the one to get the girl in canon. You respect that. You can still make art and AU fanfiction where Zuko gets her in the end.

What about McHanzo? Big Overwatch ship. Entirely non-canon. The two characters have never met. McCree displays a very seductive personality with several lines particularly directed towards women. And although he can be bi, he himself stated one of the reasons Ashe was never his type is because she’s rich. And Hanzo is very much rich. And even has that rich kid snooty attitude. Nowhere near a canon ship. But it’s everywhere. And it is allowed to be. People are not doing anything wrong by making their own worlds where these characters can be together.

Maybe Widowtracer? Widowmaker was brainwashed and no longer feels most emotions, including love. Tracer currently has a very lovely girlfriend in canon. So Widowtracer is very much non-canon. But it is still ok to ship these two. For a number of reasons. Some just find them hot. Some want a Widowmaker redemption and see Tracer as a way for her to move on from her past. Some want the three ladies together as an OT3. You can write up various scenarios where Emily leaves Tracer for various reasons, and that is completely fine because that’s what fanfiction is all about. It’s your take on the scenario presented for you.

Maybe Pharmercy? Ah. An interesting one. Also entirely non-canon, but for a reason some more..distasteful people...seem to ignore. We have a bit of a Lapidot situation here, because, you see, Mercy is intended to be with Genji in canon. The two write letters to each other in the Christmas comic (the same comic that revealed Tracer to be gay, first showed Torb’s wife Ingrid, had Jack holding a picture of his ex Vincent, showed Ana’s ex Sam, showed possibly Reyes’ daughter he had with his ex, showed Widowmaker at her late husband’s grave...) and were intended to get voicelines during Valentine’s Day where they would exchange chocolates. A very romantic gesture. Well...some Pharmercy shippers threw a fit, bullied the creators and now those voicelines have never been pushed to the live game. But they still exist. So these specific shippers had bad manners and are thus wrong, but Pharmercy as a ship is still completely fine. If you recognize the canon, respect it, but still want to make art of these two ladies together for a number of reasons, that is completely acceptable.

And what about intercanon pairings, pairings that go as far as to break the boundries of fictional universes to bring characters together. Like Jack Frost with Elsa, or Merida with Hiccup. Characters that will never meet because they are from different worlds made by entirely differnet companies. And those are also ok. Completely fine. Go express yourself. Make art.

Now here’s why I was upset enough to write this. I have long been witnessing immense levels of hypocrisy in the shipping community. Where some ships are put on holy pedestals and considered to have some sort of moral superiority. And all other ships are somehow inherently wrong and the people who ship them, terrible people.

So here’s the question: is it ok to ship a canon gay character in a straight relationship?

And to that I answer...is it ok to ship a canon straight character in a gay relationship?

If you answer no to one but yes to the other....why is that? Why is it okay for one way but not the other, when both are exactly the same. Yes, canon, breaking canon...most shipping is breaking canon. All fanwork is breaking canon in some way because only what the creators create and declare is canon is, well...canon. So why is some canon breaking considered ok when others are not?

I’ve heard the justification that you can’t ship a gay character in a straight ship because that is just a too important trait in a character to break. But why would the other way be ok then? Why is it ok to break the sexuality canon with straight characters but not gay ones? What about genderswaps? Would all rule63 fanart be inherently wrong because you’re breaking an important canon aspect?

What about all the reboots with different looking people in the lead? So let’s say...should Miles not exist because Spider-man was originally white? All the films that cast a woman to play a character that had always been established as male? These reboots have a right to exist. It’s artistic expression. It’s remix. It’s perfectly acceptable. Of course, there will be some backlash, there always is when you reinvent an established character that already has a sizeable fanbase. But ultimately, it is a matter of opinion on if someone likes the new version of the character or not. The new version its self is not right or wrong. It just...is. It just exists and does its own thing in its own way.

There are people who act like certain characters are inherently a certain way because a certain group somehow has....ownership...of the character. That Spider-man can only ever be white because he was white and belongs to white people. That’s not how that works. A character does not...belong to whatever arbitrary group because they have certain characteristics in common.

A character...is personality. It is actions. It is feelings. A character...is someone anyone could potentially relate to. That anyone can potentially like and dislike. It always just...baffles me when people act like they can only like and relate to a character if that character is an exact mirror of themselves. When I was a kid, I liked to watch Danny Phantom. And I thought he was cool. I liked how he had super powers. I liked how he fought the ghosts. I never once thought I couldn’t like him because he was a boy and I’m not. In Overwatch, I main Reaper. He’s an older latinx American man that I headcanon as bisexual. I am literally none of those things. He’s still my favorite. Soldier76 is gay. I’d say since most of the population is straight, it’s safe to assume most Soldier mains are straight. Should they stop playing this character because he’s gay and is somehow now off limits to straight people? No, of course not. Everyone can like or dislike any character.

Everyone can ship any character with any other character.

And some people don’t like that. Some people think...that certain groups...should have different sets of rules.

That’s not how it works. That’s not how equality works.

We are all human beings. If it works one way, it has to work the other way in return. A white character can be reimagined as black, a black character should be able to be reimagined as white. A male character can be rebooted as a female character, a female character can be rebooted as a male character. A straight character can be in a gay ship, a gay character should be able to be in a straight ship.

Some people think that certain groups should have different sets of rules. And that is unacceptable. You are not inherently better or more special or more important than others based on arbitrary traits you have had since birth.

If you think that certain people should have fewer rights based on the color of their skin, you are a racist. If you believe that certain people should have fewer rights based on their gender, you are a sexist. If you believe that certain people should have fewer rights based on their sexual orientation, then you are some form of bigot.

We are all human beings. We are all equal. We have the same rights, we play by the same rules. And if you advocate for something other than that, then you are not advocating for equality, so stop using that as your excuse.

Like the only group that should have special preferential treatment is people with disabilities because they simply cannot function properly if everything was left the same as it is for the majority of people. People in wheelchairs cannot use stairs. They need better access. That’s a given. But even they have the same laws, the same rights.

If you really still think that you deserve special treatment, that you should have additional freedoms, that certain people inherently deserve less than you and should have more restrictions placed on them, based on arbitrary traits they were born with and had no control over, then you are a terrible person. If you are going through a whole load of mental gymnastics and reaching out to find justifications for why you somehow deserve more than other people based on these traits, then you need to get out, talk to some real people and reevaluate certain things. If you can justify giving less freedom to others based on these arbitrary traits, you are opperating on the same mindset as genocidal tyrants.

And freakin read Animal Farm. If you haven’t, I’ll give you the TL:DR

Human farmer is an oppressor to the animals. The animals kick him out and establish equality. The pigs, after some convoluted stuff, decide that they deserve preferential treatment. The pigs thus become the oppressors over the other animals. The cycle continues, implying the pigs will be one day driven out and some other group will find some bs excuse for why they deserve more rights than the rest. Featuring the iconic line:

“All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”

[princettegil]

How A Stolen Book Changed My Life

(Also known as "Dragon Knights Saved My Life") It started on a day somewhere between late 2006 and very early 2007. I was 16 and in high school and convinced my parents to stop by the library in town instead of the one nearest my house. I was looking for some manga and I knew they had some. It was a paltry little offering, just a handful of volumes in a short shelf. A few random Yugioh volumes, some Dragon Ball Z, a few stray volumes of Naruto. Nothing caught my eye in particular so I decided to just pick at random. I grabbed a volume of Yugioh, another of some shoujo dream something or other and 2 volumes of a manga called Dragon Knights, volumes 22 and 23 respectively, the only ones they had. I recall flipping through the pages trying to determine which held more interest as I sat in the car while my family went into Walmart to do a little shopping. I don't recall much about the shoujo dream manga except that it had 'dream’ somewhere in the title and the Yugioh volume was just something to flip through to compare to the anime I had already seen. I had high hopes for that shoujo manga but it sadly disappointed (didn't help that it was volume 2 and I'd never even read volume 1.) So I read through character profiles and 'the story thus far’ in the Dragon Knights manga, having a hard time fitting faces from the older volumes artwork in the profiles with the newer style artwork in the books I had. It was going to be a 26 volume series and I had borrowed volumes 22 and 23 having never heard of nor read the earlier books. I was at a loss to the storyline even with the summary in the front of the book, none of the “main” characters seemed to be around much in these 2 books. But one caught my eye, a character named Gil. As it turns out I just happened upon 2 of the 4 books of the entire 26 volume series that focuses on this character! And I had no idea how that happenstance would change my life. Needless to say I fell in love with this character. I began to draw him, make up stories in my head with him, want to know more about him (ahh the trouble of loving a side character in a little known series!), read fanfiction about him. I wound up finding every Dragon Knights related website and forum I could searching for more information. I was obsessed. I tried my best to get my hands on the other volumes he featured in first before eventually trying to collect the entire series. I fell fast and I fell hard. This was my new favorite character, my new obsession to draw and trace and print and read and write and search about. I wanted any and everything Gil! But these were library books, they had to be returned in 2 weeks. But… I couldn't give them up now! Not when I had fell in love! There were no bookstores where I lived. My parents didn't have a credit card to order books online. The library was my only connection! I had never stolen anything in my life. I loved libraries! I knew how frustrating it was to want a book that someone borrowed from the library but never returned! But… this felt like fate! This was my soulmate made from ink! And so… I didn't return them. I kept them. Marked out the barcodes with Sharpies to match the book covers. Since I was the one who always checked the mail on my way home, I destroyed every letter from the library about fines so my parents would never know. I stayed nervous that they would still find out somehow though. That they'd be mad that I'd stole and that they'd have to pay hefty fines. Within two years though, another letter from the library arrived. My gut sunk with fear. They were going to get me now and lock me up in library thief jail! But instead the letter mentioned National Library Week and came with an amazing note: in celebration they had decided to forgive my fines. I was free! $50 in fines was something I no longer had to worry about! The books were mine and my parents would owe nothing for them or my sin! But the fire Gil sparked in me rose still, being an artist type this eventually led me to DeviantArt and posting a bit of my art and finding others fanart of my beloved Gil. I went onto a Dragon Knights forum and a Dragon Knights guild on Gaia Online. I was too shy and new to the series to speak up much but I remembered some of the recurring usernames from site to site. Time passed, I graduated, I moved to DC, started art school, wound up broke, lonely, depressed and severely in debt, I moved back to KY, I started community college, I used my tuition grant money to finally get internet at my home. I eventually caved and followed a few of my friends in joining Tumblr. I went there cause my friends had (for the time) abandoned to their Facebook's to congregrate on this new site and because my newest obsession, Magi, had lots of dedicated blogs and information located there. So I joined and then realized one of the recent Dragon Knights 'sites’ I had been following was actually a Tumblr blog! So I quickly followed it as my steadfast Gil obsession had never really lulled. Some more time passed and I graduated college and moved a few hours away to start my first real job. It was then that things went horrifically, wonderfully, horribly, wrong and so, so right! I started having anxiety attacks and a fellow member of the Dragon Knights (and Gil) fandom whose name I remembered over all those years had started messaging me right about the same time. This person's elder sibling had gone through similar things and so they were the first to reach out a helping hand and understanding heart full of advice and comraderie. And they continued to reach out. We became friends. I became friends with a few other Dragon Knights peeps as well. And then I fell in love with this helpful fellow fan. And then things went to hell. I started to become increasingly depressed, having more and more anxiety attacks. I began to self harm for the first time. I constantly planned out my own suicide. Through all of this, my new internet friend was there. Sometimes my episodes were because of him. I was new to the feelings of love and jealousy and obsession (with real people at least) and the hurt that comes with living alone, with not knowing where you fit in the world, with not knowing how you fit in this other person's life and what to do with all these new overwhelming feelings while also trying to find a new job and pay the bills and prove I could do this thing on my own. My emotions were a swirling rollercoaster ride from Hell but somehow, some way, he rode through them with me. He rode through them with cute little drawings of Gil, and fun games to distract me from my pain, comforting words, and plans to meet at a large anime con. We met. I was still in love but he was not. It hurt to be turned down but his presence was something I still loved having in my life. It was something that, through all the emotions and hurt and blood and suicide attempts, was still somehow there. He rode the rollercoaster hell ride with me and was still with me at the ending gates. I wound up moving back home, getting counseling, getting meds, and slowly working on getting back on my feet. I went through a few more jobs shakily. But I learned how to reach out when I needed too. Learned that boundaries were not a thing to be feared. That I was not alone. That there were people who cared about me. That I was not a monster. I went through a lot those few years. My sexuality changed again and again and even my gender changed in the end. (I still credit the friend I made via love of the Dragon Knights series on helping me through all that as well.) And now, here I am. 28 years old. Now identifying as transmale, pan-romantic and somewhere between asexual and demi-sexual ( as far as I know of at this moment.) I still have the occasional anxiety attack. There's still a scampering from the brain raccoons and all that the mischief they bring every now and again (from paranoia to depression and overthinking and dissociation.) But for the most part I've come to realize that I've grown a lot. I've changed a lot. I actually like most of how I am now. I'm happier. I'm more accepting of myself. I'm still hopelessly in love. And… I'm alive. You see, during that year I was on my own I tried to kill myself no less than 3 times and scarred my arms many, many times more than that. But I'm alive still. And through it all the person I thank most of all for that, the person who taught me how to breath, the person who unknowingly stole my heart, the person who showered me with art of our beloved Gil, the person who literally SAVED ME from myself - I met because I stole a couple books from a library over 10 years ago. A lifetime obsession, inspiration for art and stories and character building, a breath of life into discovering myself and who I am, a love that's still as deep now as it began, a friendship I thank the gods for every day, a true lifesaver in ever sense of the word, and even the namesake for my gender transition journey - ALL OF THIS AND MORE because I stole a couple of books from a library when I was a wee nerd.

[hackedmotionsensors]

Im not updated enough w the ships but did stony get wincested? I mean like. In the SPN fandom the biggest ship if not only at first was wincest, and then a new ship appeared called destiel and totally overpowered it? Thered be the common drama of ship wars but i wanted to know if thats what happened?

lol I guess!?!?! Kind of. I don’t think it was so much of an overpowering as it was a massive butting of heads. SteveTony is still a very big ship but Stucky is also a very popular ship though fairly new since most of it stems only from MCU. Kind of different than a ship encompassing only a TV show.

So here’s what happened. The full damned story. Probably fft. its gonna be a long one folks so strap in. This isn’t really a call out but if you were curious as to why there’s so much damned fighting in the marvel fandom over really dumb shit this is an unbiased as possible explanation. Beware. I think the whole thing is dumb but I got some extra time right now.

Back in 2006 and 2007 Marvel Comics decided to have an event. You probably heard about it and they made a big movie about it. Civil War. Civil War was promoted as being a huge rift that cut down through the lines of the Marvel 616 Universe. Do you register and be accounted for your actions as a super human, or do you protect the privacy of yourself and your loved ones in an effort to fight without the limitations of government and the fear you might be policed and punished just for having powers AND put your family at risk of Supervillains (many who are tech geniuses) accessing your information and attacking your loved ones.

That was the premise. What it ended up being was a huge divorce between Steve and Tony. Like LEGIT it read as this HUGE divorce. They’ve fought many times before but they always sort of end up back together as buds. Now as fandom we took that full stop as they are clearly in love. They are divorced.

And now Steve is dead. LETS FIX IT. So since 2006-2007 a huge wave of new fans started writing fanfic. Started doing fanart. We got horny Commander Rogers when Steve eventually came back. Tony wiped his brain and we got fics from that. Steve creates his own team and refuses to give Thor and Tony to Luke to use as Avengers.

Then in 2008 Iron Man 1 is released. A bit later Captain America is released. Having known about the comics before and the rift between the two this is where yours truly gets involved. *Smash bros voice LYDIA HAS ENTERED THE HORNY GAME* 

Captain America being released is also I believe the start of Steve/Bucky. Because in this universe Bucky isn’t a small child/teenager (A Robin to Cap’s Batman) so its less gross. (All things being honest I definitely drew bottom steve with young Bucky hohoho ho)

So then in 2012 Avenger 1 is released. And there’s a fresh wave of MCU fans. A lot came over from being 616/Ultimates fans but a lot were brand spanking new fans. 

And then Winter Soldier was released. And it was a big gay romance between Cap and Bucky and the power of LOOVE!!!! AND FRIENDSHIPP!!!!!! Like in the WInter Soldier comics Steve has to use a cosmic cube to free Bucky’s mind and in the movie all it took was Steve Can-do attitude and his pure kokoro.  Its great.

However. This is when TENSIONS RISE. Stucky being a relatively new ship and SteveTony being a fairly old ship have one common denominator and that’s Steve. And its the typical well this ship is better than that ship. This ship is older than that ship. This ship has more MEANING than that ship. This ship is PROBLEMATIC. And its been going on to this day. It escalated again when Civil War came out. Becaus Civil War is supposed to be a Steve movie but reads as an Avengers movie. But the big point of the movie is like in the comics the splitting of Steve and Tony. A big damned divorce. Now is that divorce a divorce because they can’t find a common ground, or is it that Steve’s love for Bucky over-rides his rational thought and makes him fairly hypocritical because well shit he just loves Bucky so much. He says it to Wanda “Rumlow said Bucky and I...”

It was a movie just asking for shipping wars to happen.

So that’s WHERE this stems from. But here’s the issue. I have no doubt there are plenty of SteveTony fans causing just as much shit as anyone else. But at least from my experience, the Stucky fans have been far and wide more aggressive in harassing artists, even artists who don’t speak English as a first language, harassing the actors, harassing the comic book writers and artists who don’t have anything to do with movies, claiming that they’re homophobic for wanting to have a story with Bucky (who is still in love with Natasha [and that’s a whole other ship war there]) team up with Hawkeye (who is also still mostly in love with Natasha) to hunt down Natasha. When the author said “Hey this story doesn’t have gay people in it unfortunately but here are a list of comics that have gay characters in it” they ignored them and continued saying they were being transphobic. Because the person happened to be a trans man and disagreeing with them was transphobia. Which had nothing to do with what had happened at all. They’re the same fans that in person and over radio harass Sebastian Stan so much that he has to hide who he’s dating. 

They’re the same types of fans who call me a hateful cunt (which..probably true lbr) but I haven’t done anything recently. They’re the types of fans who come up to me at a con and whisper “Are you a stucky or a stony fan” And I (Because I was raised right) tell them “Oh I like both but I have a preference for Stony”. And then the person walks away. I’ve had friends tell me of their own horror stories at artist alleys where Stucky fans will open a book (clearly labeled as stevetony) go “UGH GROSS” and then put it down.

They’re the types of fans who refuse to watch an Iron Man movie but will say things like “I wish Tony would get captured and tortured by Hydra so he would know what Bucky felt like” (Which...omg that’s literally the first 20 minutes of the first iron man and the start of the MCU my dude)

They’ve attacked Thorki (and other ships and don’t get me wrong I get why people would complain about Thorki. Thorki;s generally know and don’t care about those complaints)

They’ve made entire articles on CBR, on Polygon on other internet news pages, as editors they’ve had some feisty tweets that causes some fans to worry that storylines they were enjoying (ex: Bucky/Natasha’s relationship) will get lost and destroyed in favor of a ship.

Now generally. This isn’t anything unusual. These fans exist in every fandom. And I have Stucky friends, (My BFF, one of my coworkers) and we get along just fine. Because we’re old ass ladies who realize that a ship doesn’t define our life. I think Stucky has some of the most jaw droppingly beautiful artwork this fandom has produced.

They just unfortunately have a lot of bad apples that seem to have only time to hassle other people and try to tear down other fans and have the loudest voices.

Also I’m 1000000% not saying that SteveTony fans probably don’t start as much shit as the rest but from my experience and from what I’ve seen SteveTony fans only ever bitch about Stuckys after the fact. After they’ve been hassled or saw something that was really rude or very non-canon complaints (if that last bit makes sense)

Oddly enough it kind of died down a little with the MCU killing half of the cast including Bucky (he’ll be fine I’m sure). But occassionally someone gets a lot of built up energy and wants to come into my ask box and tell me that I’m an elitist shipper.

PERSONALLY. I like to think of SteveTony and Stucky as Coke and Pepsi. You’re going to have a preference for one or the other. And you’re either gonna tell the waiter “I’d rather have a water” instead of the opposite one that you like, just agree and order what they have bc honestly who cares its basically the same or you’re going to be rude to the waiter, complain the entire time, leave a bad review on yelp and not tip him.

[theteablogger]

Bullshit

Two things:

First of all, I’ve heard through the grapevine that Andy is sharing screenshots that allegedly prove that mine are fake. For what it’s worth, I have never in my life faked a screenshot of anything, let alone a screenshot of one of Andy’s posts. The most editing that I’ve done to them is to crop out extraneous material that might identify the person who sent them to me, to join screenshots together when it takes more than one to capture an entire post, to censor other people’s names and pictures or Andy’s own contact info, and occasionally to highlight something. That’s it.

Second, I’ve recently received screenshots of a Facebook post that shows what Andy is telling his friends about what’s recently happened in LA, and how Andy awareness bloggers and tf-talk are entirely to blame for it. I’m going to share it here and respond point-by-point. I realize that Andy is talking about more people than just me, but a) there are very few of us (outside tf-talk) posting about him now, and b) I can only speak for myself anyway. This is going to be long. Sorry.

(If you’d like a quick preview of Andy’s post, he’s been saying almost exactly the same things since at least 2012, so here you go.)

One major problem with this is that the “30 second cocktail party bio” is often all that people get. His former host was very clear that he hadn’t told her about leading two cults, sexually abusing people, mentally and emotionally abusing and manipulating people, and more. What little he did tell her, he blamed entirely on mental illness and made it sound like a lot of stupid internet drama.

When he refers to “listing [his] birth name and literally every screen name [he’s] had or people have suspected was [him] since 1995,” that’s obviously about me. The reason that list is featured so prominently on my blog is that Andy has used so many aliases and screen names over the years that reading about his past can be very confusing for people. Many times, even recently, I’ve seen others express surprise that Thanfiction and Victoria Bitter (for example) are the same person, although they were familiar with most of the trouble that he’d caused under both of those names. I would never, ever mention Andy’s birth name if not for the fact that his earliest known online manipulation and lies were under that name. 

Now, here’s the really big issue, for me: I have never said that Andy is a sociopathic narcissist abuser. I have never tried to label him with any specific diagnosis or even a DSM category.

Once in 2014 (before I even had a blog) I submitted a post to 1-purp0se that included something about emotional vs. cognitive empathy, positing that Andy had the latter, but not the former. I’ve regretted that part of the post ever since because I am not a mental health professional and that was only my opinion. In the years since then, I have made sure that I could substantiate everything with screenshots and I have not made anything approaching a diagnostic claim.

I have always been very clear that I have never met or personally interacted with Andy. It’s there for all to see in my FAQ. Also, I have never, ever so much as implied that Andy has abused me in any way. Anyone who thinks that I have either has not actually read my blog, or has a serious reading comprehension problem. I have never even suggested that X was anything like Andy, and have only shared those stories on my blog in hopes of being helpful to other survivors. I am disgusted by the implication that everything that I post is merely a projection of my own experiences of abuse...and at the same time, darkly amused that this is the best Andy can do to refute anything that I’ve said about him.

I have never rejected, harassed, or attacked anyone who’s contacted me about Andy. I have been attacked and harassed by people attempting to defend Andy, and I had a bit of a meltdown in 2015 when I was attempting to defend one of Andy’s friends in tf-talk.

When Andy posts social justice things, he does so in a way that shows that he has little more than a surface-level understanding of the issues, and that he’s more concerned with appearing to espouse a currently popular cause than with actually supporting it. For example, while “raising awareness” about Ferguson, he repeatedly made analogies equating black people with dogs and wild animals. He told people affected by the late-2014 wave of fake suicides in SPN fandom how they were “allowed” to feel and respond. In 2016 he made a number of posts that included misleading and false election statistics, and was very dismissive of people’s concerns about a Trump presidency. That’s the tip of the iceberg, and all that was just on Tumblr. Andy whitesplains and mansplains all the damned time.

There’s “making new friends”, and then there’s forcibly inserting yourself into a pre-existing social circle, acting like you know them all extremely well, and putting intense pressure on them to introduce you to other friends of theirs who are either connected to or actually part of the cast of the webseries on which you are currently fixated. The latter is what he did in LA, according to people who were actually there and were involved.

When Andy says good things about his friends, or other people, they are often backhanded compliments (e.g., his incredibly condescending liveblog of a friend’s SPN fic) or blatant negging (such as making extremely hurtful and gross comments about a woman’s body and following them up with over-the-top assurances that he thinks she’s beautiful). Does he do this every time he makes a positive comment about someone? I have no idea. But it happens often enough to be cause for concern.

"If people say I don’t hurt them, it’s proof that they’re brainwashed or afraid of me, etc. If friends stand up for me, that’s proof that I have created a cultish, us-against-them mentality.”

That first sentence is part of what set off my 2015 meltdown, so I’m not even touching it. I have never said anything even close to that. I have often talked about the fact that Andy has led two actual cults, and that he fosters “us-vs-them” thinking in his friends because he did and he does. Many, many former friends of Andy’s have spoken about the us-vs-them thing, and it’s evident in many of his posts over the years. 

I have never said that Andy needs to tell everyone that he is “a sociopath who was intending to inflict pain.” What makes his “apology” posts fauxpologies is that he continually finds reasons to excuse or minimize acts of abuse he has committed, to explain things away as “misunderstandings”, and to deflect blame in a variety of ways. He also tends to make significant omissions and to bend the truth as far as he can unless/until he’s called out on it.

“We know the secret.” This is hilarious because that’s exactly what Andy used to tell the Bagenders and the DAYDians: “[XYZ everyday occurrence] seems insignificant to everyone else, but because we know the secret, we understand that it’s a message from Kali and Raz,” or what have you. I think there have been a handful of times that I’ve said that something Andy’s done would have sounded innocuous coming from anyone else, but takes on more sinister overtones when his history is taken into account. These things generally have to do with specific lies Andy has told, or with specific, documented ways that he has manipulated people in the past.

This is very misleading. No one has moved the goalposts; there never were any goalposts in the first place. Nobody said, “Andy, if you do these specific things, then we’ll believe that you’ve changed and we’ll never talk about you again.” I have said, and have seen other say, that maybe if he did this or that thing it might indicate that he was serious about changing, or that something that he was doing at the time was a reason to hope that he was honestly trying to change. I and many others have also said numerous times that part of the process of moving on for Andy would have to be leaving fandom for good. Andy is the one who decided that putting on a show of leaving fandom (but still sharing fanart and trying to get other fans’ and creators’ attention via mentions and fannish tweets) was the one and only thing he needed to do in order to convince everyone that he’s a different person. 

And this next bit is the real crux of the issue: even if he really had “ticked all [the] boxes” on an imaginary list of criteria that Turimel, or tf-talk, or the Andy awareness blogs, or whoever had given him...it wouldn’t matter because he is still engaging in many problematic and abusive behaviors. He is “actively, presently committing abuse”, and I believe that he is still dangerous. I refer you again to Molly’s post about his recent stay with her. On the other hand, I have never made any claim that he is abusing Meg or the cats, or about “dozens of other current victims”. (Past victims that we don’t know about? Sure. Although I’m not very fond of the word “victim”.)

I won’t claim that I stand behind everything that’s said on tf-talk, or every post that every other blogger has made. But by all means, try to claim that there’s bias and twisting in my timeline, when it’s full of substantiating evidence in Andy’s own words and in the words of people who have been hurt by him.

I’m not sure where he’s getting “a dozen” from. There are maybe five of us blogging about him sporadically on Tumblr now (very sporadically, in most cases), and an unknown number of anons in tf-talk and fail-fandomanon. Our blogs and tf-talk often go quiet for long periods of time, and he isn’t mentioned that frequently on FFA anymore...until something like this happens.

I love the implication that no one who’s decided to stay away from Andy based on the many warning posts about him, the contents of tf-talk, Abbey’s blog, my blog, etc. has actually read any of it. They’ve all just made blind assumptions. But Andy’s not saying anything bad about them! Oh, no, they’re still smart, reasonable, good, empathetic, woke, and the kind of people that he wants to be friends with and work with. See what I mean about saying shitty things about people and then following up with lavish praise? This is also exactly what this anon on FFA was talking about. Anyway, based on my Statcounter and the fact that Google Docs will show me how many people are currently reading the timeline whenever I open it, I’m going to say that far more than .0002% of people actually read this stuff.

And here it is: it is ALL OUR FAULT that Andy hasn’t changed, even though he’s trying so hard. Comparing himself to a snake that’s had its venom sacs (not poison, Andy) removed is very disingenuous as it implies that it is now impossible for him to do significant harm. That isn’t true of anyone, let alone someone with a 20-year history of lies, manipulation, and abuse. And he actually did “bite” someone recently--again, read Molly’s post, and realize that all happened just a few days ago.

The truth does speak for itself. Those people in LA already had serious concerns about Andy before they read about him online, but they had been cutting him a lot of slack. Molly was already aware that Andy was, for example, trying to dredge up her memories of extremely abusive past relationships in order to manipulate her. She and his friends had already realized that he was constantly lying to all of them about pretty much everything. They’d already pegged him as a performative ally. They’d noticed that he negged the hell out of trans and plus-size people, specifically playing on issues of gender/body dysmorphia, and that he was competitive and condescending toward other men. All of this was based on their own direct observations of his behavior, before they had any idea about his history. And the person who filled them in wasn’t a blogger or someone from tf-talk; it was a close friend of theirs who realized who he was and felt the need to warn them.

(Also? Even if none of the LA people would say that Andy had actually harmed them--I don’t know because I haven’t talked to them all--it is evident that he at least tried to harm them psychologically and emotionally. None of the above behaviors can be waved away as accidents, especially given that they were happening regularly and frequently.)

So what is Andy to do? Maybe stop doing the things listed above, for a start. If what his friends read online (again, after spending time with him in person for a couple weeks) really hadn’t matched what they knew of him personally, the outcome would have been very different. But they’d already been comparing notes on his shitty behavior, and when they read the links they’d been sent, everything that had been happening suddenly made sense. That’s why they kicked him out. If you’re a manipulative asshole, people may be willing to let things slide for a while--but when they find out that you’ve been doing the same shit and worse for 20 years, yes, everything might just be snatched away from you. And that’s your own fucking fault.

Here’s a further comment from Andy:

This is fucking disgusting.

Other than the occasional tf-talk anon, the only person who has regularly (as in, more than an off-hand comment) compared specific words and behaviors of Andy’s to a past abuser of their own was Delwynmarch. And that was several years ago; it’s been a long time since he posted anything at all. Del had his fair share of insightful, on-point analytical posts, too--like his breakdown of Andy’s attempt to explain away his admission of having committed rape and sexual abuse. It’s incredibly disingenuous and dismissive to suggest that the volumes of information and analysis that others have written amount to nothing more than projection, and that we’re just a bunch of poor, ignorant babies who don’t realize how misguided we are. He feels sorry for us. Give me a fucking break.

I have been open about being a survivor of abuse and having lost people in my life to cults. While that is part of what inspired me to start blogging about Andy, that doesn’t mean that it is the entire basis for all of my opinions and analysis. Andy is fond of analogies, so I’ll use one here: This is like saying that because I was once bitten by a dog, any time that I feel the need to correct my own dog’s behavior, I’m obviously just projecting my past experience onto him, so I should just back off and let him keep shitting on the rug.

Furthermore, as much as he likes to say that we don’t know him and therefore shouldn’t act like we understand him...I know Andy a hell of a lot better than he knows me. I’ve been reading others’ words about him since 2003, and I have probably millions of his own words about his life, his mental health, fandom, and a host of other topics, dating back to 1998. All he knows of me is what little he sees on this blog. 

Nice try, Andy, but I neither need nor want your sympathy. Nor do I accept any measure of blame for what happened last week. You did it to yourself.

[yeonchi]

2019 In Review

This year marked the start (or rather, a continuation) of my transition into society. It kind of sounds weird when I put it that way, but the truth is that I have much to learn about how society works and that despite all my time on the Internet, I’m gonna have to face up to reality sooner or later. I’ve never really created a name for myself outside of my anime posts, English dub rants, or even my work on preserving the Sea Princesses series, but I still hope to continue posting online at times.

Where previous reviews were released on New Year’s Eve, this year’s review will be released a bit earlier for reasons that I’ll elaborate on in this post. Let’s begin after the break.

Sea Princesses

2019 has been a big year for Sea Princesses. During the first half of the year, I worked on transcribing the episodes and writing plot details for the wiki, since not a lot of work was put into them since the other admin, Liggliluff, joined the wiki in 2015 and gave provision for them. In the second half of the year, I renovated the character pages, adding infoboxes and story involvement (highlights for the major characters) to them. I also created pages for the (named) animals that appeared in the series. Since the wiki is pretty much complete at this point with the addition of transcripts and episode plots, any further work on the wiki from me (in regards to the animated series) is up to whether I feel like doing any.

After six months of seeing no further uploads on the Mr Bean and Friends channel, I caved and decided to shell out some money on a premium account to download the Amazon Prime episodes someone had uploaded to a website. Six months after that, I found that someone had downloaded the episodes themselves and uploaded them to KimCartoon. I know this was way after everything I had done, but better late than never, I suppose. The sad thing was that a few weeks after that, someone reached out to me on the Lost Media Archive saying that they had ripped some of the episodes from ABC iView and put a link to their MEGA folder on 4chan /trash/ and not /co/, which led to me not realising it until he told me about it. Regardless, the split English episodes and Spanish Disney Channel raws are still in my cloud drive folder.

While working on the transcripts for the wiki, I also wrote a review of the series. After watching it, I found that there were quite a few disappointments here and there, but the series wasn’t as bad as I had remembered it. Also, from July to October this year, artist Princess Rainbow Channel did some amazing fanart of each character in the series (including background characters) that trumps everything I had seen before and possibly after. Feel free to check it out here along with my reaction and her response.

Public opinion of the series depends on where you are; in Brazil, people are still bringing it up in their childhood memories on Twitter (usually in response to the question “what were some cartoons you remember from when you were young”), while in Australia, you barely get anyone talking about the series and even if you did, quite a few of them would be people trashing it. I’d seen a couple of Americans who had apparently seen the series as well; aside from the Latin American Spanish version, I have no idea which channel the English version was broadcast or where, otherwise I’d have known by now.

So like I said, the wiki is pretty much complete in terms of the TV series. As for the Princesas do Mar books, I am hoping to cover them in the long term when I have the money and capacity to do so. If you want information about them now, then I’m hoping that someone (mostly from Brazil) will be kind enough to provide transcripts and/or snapshots of them. There won’t be anything about the books on the wiki (with the exception of Marcela and the titles of the books) until I get that information, whether it be from a kind volunteer or by myself, so the entire thing’s pretty much on hold until then.

One thing I realised - the author, Fabio Yabu, recently published the first volume of the Combo Rangers graphic novel for free on WEBTOON. No doubt about it, Sea Princesses would have been more popular if it had received as much love as Combo Rangers. Maybe it’s time that Yabu showed some love to the series after nearly a decade since the last Princesas do Mar book published by Panda Books - I wouldn’t mind seeing rereleases, a graphic novel, ebooks or a compendium of the ten books published by Panda Books (those are the titles that I’m hoping to focus on for the wiki, everything else is irrelevant). With my current situation right now, if I can’t get transcripts or screenshots, then I’d be more happy to spend my money buying ebooks than printed books from Brazil.

Doctor Who

Right at the start of the month, the release date for Doctor Who Series 12 was announced to be on New Year’s Day with subsequent episodes to air on Sundays. Like with Series 11, I’ll be continuing the Thirteenth Doctor reviews after the episode airs. The prelude post will come out later with more details. In fact, it’s because of this that I decided to release this post earlier instead of on New Year’s Eve. That’s pretty much the only reason.

English Dubbed Game News and English dub rants

In case you guys missed it, I’m fully moving on from talking about English dubbed games. I don’t know if anyone ever saw this coming since the end of the feud a couple of years back, but I guess my promise to stand tall back at the end of 2017 must sound ironic now.

As I explained back in September, I’ve lost interest in video games altogether and had conflicting thoughts on how to deal with the occasional toxic comments on my pages. I didn’t mention this back then, but in case you were wondering, no, all the Vic Mignogna stuff did not play a factor in my decision. I’ve never been a fan of him so I don’t care and to be fair, innocent or guilty, he is really only one voice actor. In terms of Koei Tecmo games, he only voiced two characters in Dynasty Warriors 7 and 8 (Jia Xu/Xiahou Ba) along with two characters in Samurai Warriors 3 (Mitsuhide Akechi/Yoshimoto Imagawa), which, I should remind you, never made it onto a Warriors Orochi game. If Koei Tecmo wanted to replace him when the allegations came out, they would have done it already. Ironically however, they did just that with Dynasty Warriors 9, but with the whole cast because of the voice actor strike.

Speaking of the voice actor strike, I’ve noticed something that I never did back when I was writing the rants; a lot of voice actors are part of SAG-AFTRA and I’ve deduced that Japanese game companies are being cheap and cutting corners in localisation (specifically, dubbing) because they don’t want to hire union actors because of the cost (presumably). Additionally, I’ve also read that union actors can’t openly do non-union work, which leads to them being uncredited officially. I know I’ve supported the union during the voice actor strike, but I can’t help but think that I should have criticised them at some point during my rants because their rules for union actors kind of play a factor in this whole debacle of video game dubbing.

I’ve suggested crowdfunding as a way to raise funds to hire (union) voice actors, but in recent years, I’ve seen them go the way of Western game companies and put out season passes and neverending DLC packs. Anyone who defends game companies for being cheap and not dubbing their games has no right to complain about them being greedy in other areas. I kind of saw it coming myself, which didn’t come as a surprise to me. As far as I’ve heard, there aren’t any loot boxes or pay-to-win gimmicks in Japanese games, so I guess I’m still relieved.

As for my opinion on all of this or Japanese game companies, including Koei Tecmo, they haven’t changed much, although I’ve become more and more apathetic towards them given my declining interest in video games. Much as I hate to admit, I’ve gotten back into playing older Warriors games I still have for nostalgia and because I was bored and wanted to procrastinate. This shows that regardless of my thoughts, I’m still grateful towards Koei Tecmo for the games that inspired me in certain aspects of my life.

I’m going to burn a few bridges here and say some fuck yous to a few groups. First of all is a big fuck you to the haters, namely the dub haters, sub purists and opinion-neutrals (that much is obvious). Next up is a fuck you to Japanese game companies for being cheap in localisation (and by extension, even cheaper in DLCs), then a smaller, belated and ironic fuck you to voice actor unions like SAG-AFTRA for making the rules that lead to Japanese game companies being cheap in the first place and enabling them to keep doing it. Finally, a really ironic fuck you goes to my fans and all other fans of English dubbing - the fact that nobody else had made something like EDGN by this point, let alone before I found and joined the page, is really telling of what little you do to promote dub advocacy, let alone not being aware that things like said page or #NoDubNoBuy exist or supporting them by liking or sharing my posts.

Anyway, the current plan is to finish posting whatever games I’ve got in the backlog before New Year’s Eve and then unpublish the page sometime after. I’m not going to delete the page out of respect to its creator, who despite still being an admin on the page, has never posted anything since I joined it. The games list will be kept up through this link for reference. Despite the fuck you I just gave my fans (particularly the 230-so followers on EDGN), I want to thank everyone for the support you gave over the years and invite you to continue following me on my Facebook and Tumblr pages.

The state of social media

I felt that I should address something given YouTube’s new measures regarding COPPA, not forgetting that they literally said that they have no obligation to host content. At the start of last year’s review, I stated that there was always something that managed to affect my Internet life in stupid ways. I haven’t been affected directly this year, but YouTube’s measures have led me to think about what would happen if Facebook were to follow suit, particularly because Tumblr already banned NSFW content at the end of last year and Twitter looks like it’s about to follow suit themselves.

Sure enough, YouTube suddenly updated their harassment policy, which resulted in the Leafy Content Cop being removed as a result of retroactive enforcement. I’ve got nothing much to say about this except that it just proves what we’ve been suspecting all along. To be honest, around the time of the NSFW ban on Tumblr, I was kind of expecting that the parody I did would get flagged ironically, but I guess it never got near the radar, not that there would be any justifiable grounds for it.

Anyone who celebrates censorship or deplatforming with the same argument that “private companies can do whatever they want” should really look at themselves in the mirror because if any of this has proved anything, it’s that anyone can be censored or deplatformed with or without reason whether they’re following the rules or not. You’re all just sitting ducks and you don’t even know it even though you play by their rules in the hope that you won’t be next.

On a more lighter note, I wonder if I should use paragraph gaps instead of horizontal rules in future posts, given that Tumblr removed functionality for the latter in the rich text editor. Sure, I could manually add them in the HTML editor, but it would mean that they would disappear when I switched back to the rich text editor, regardless of whether I saved or not, and it would absolutely kill me to put them back in the exact same spots when I’ve changed something there.

In regards to Hong Kong

Back in August, I made a post about how I nearly got deplatformed from Facebook by the guy behind the feud because of what I said in my repostings of Hong Kong news. I really want to look back and laugh at it now not only because him doing so made him look like a pro-Beijing supporter, but because a pro-Beijing politician he scapegoated as a dub hater in a parody post to evade my criticism of him as such lost his seat in the district council to a pro-democracy newcomer.

In that post, I admitted that I did use some racial slurs in some of my repostings. Given the escalating violence (on both sides, police and protesters) since the start of the protests in June, I’m just gonna come right out and say it - if I could use one word to describe it and the negative reaction from those against the protesters (around the world), it would be the hard-r n-word. I used that word against said pro-Beijing politician because like many other people, I don’t think he’s a good person in any way. He’s advocated violence against pro-democracy supporters, has suspected links to the triads and commended old men in white shirts attacking people in black shirts at a train station following a protest some distance away. If that third thing doesn’t remind you of white (shirt) supremacy, then I don’t know what will. Let’s not forget that at the time, I reposted some news about him not being admitted as a solicitor in England and Wales, making him a “fake lawyer n-word”.

In case there are people who disagree with my (former) use of the slur, I want to acknowledge something here. I know I’m using the slur towards Chinese people instead of its historical target, namely people of African origin, but if it helps move the focus away from the latter, then so be it. If I could find another (preferably stronger) word to describe it, then I would, but at this point, I should be lucky that I’m able to control my anger and not use the actual word itself. If you don’t like how I used the n-word at all, then fuck you, you missed the point, but of course, you’re free to leave.

I don’t want to talk about the finer details or criticisms of any party involved in the protests, but I’m quite amazed with the pro-democracy protesters’ motto of not splitting their movement, not condemning the violence from the radical side and not ratting anyone out. In my interpretation, the radical protesters know that their so-called “violence” is illegal, but the other protesters can’t condemn them because words have barely had any effect on the government and they know that the radical protesters are the only people who have a chance of making the government cave into their demands or expose the true sides of Hong Kong and China’s governments to the international community, because their failure to do so five years ago was because they failed to keep their movement together. I probably don’t know as much about this compared to Hong Kong locals or immigrants, but I wager that at least some of my interpretation is spot on.

Two years ago, I said on my personal Facebook page, “I hope that the future of Hong Kong and its politics will improve for the benefit of the people, especially the younger generations, given everything that has happened up to now”. I know it may seem ironic right now, but I believe that the future will continue to improve for the better, but if it turns to the worst, then I hope that due justice may be served.

At the start of this post, I said that I was undergoing a transition into society. I’ll be finishing my university course and graduating at the end of next year, so at this point, I’m currently out looking for work. A lot of people make it look easy, but in truth, it’s been quite excruciating for me; because of some government benefit thing I signed up for, I have a quota of job applications that I need to send per month. It sounds easy, but after a while, it becomes so hard when you look at a job you think you’ll like and realise that you don’t have the necessary skills or experience for it. All I can say for myself is that I’ll keep praying for guidance and hope that I can find something that fits with my timetable, at least until I graduate.

See you all on the other side in 2020.

[cait-writes-stuff]

Yuri!!! On Ice Fic Recs

I’ve been reading a lot of fics lately so I figured I share some of my favorites with y’all. There are a lot of good ones out there that I’m sure I missed (and I’ll add to this list as I find more) but these are the one’s that I’ve been reading lately. 

Of Dahlias and Deadlines by Ingthing (WIP): HOLY SHIT THIS FIC GUYS. This is the infamous Florist & Wedding Planner AU that I never shut up about. I seriously cannot recommend it enough. It’s one of my absolute favorites of all time. 

Summary: All Victor wants is to get dahlias for Khloe and Brad's wedding in under 24 hours.Hope comes in the form of the little family florist in his neighborhood and the quiet smiles of one Katsuki Yuuri.The florist Yuuri and wedding planner Victor AU no one asked for but everyone needed!

Beautiful by saltycvs (WIP): This one’s really cute and definitely worth the read. 

Summary: Basically Yuuri writes trashy gay romance novels for a living and he hires Victor to help him out with Russian translations needed for his next book.  

Met By Accident by paxton1976 (WIP): Warning about this one: Heavy mentions of parental abuse and Yuuri’s drinking goes a bit too far at one point (sexual assault) (happens during chapters 28/29 and can be skipped without losing any plot), character death. It’s overall a very sweet fic and it’s one of my favorites. 

Summary: Victor and Yuuri literally crash into each other  when their cars are caught in a fender bender. It’s basically an ordinary everyday falling in love story.

Love Unseen by KaylaBellissima (WIP): I absolute ADORE this fic. Basically it’s an AU where Yuuri went blind after a skating accident and Victor comes to Hasetsu to take a break from skating. I love how pure and cute this fic is. I highly recommend it!!!

Summary: AU where Yuuri went blind within the first year or so after he became a fan of Victor, and never pursued figure skating for himself. Told through Victor.

The Boyfriend Experience by cryingoverspilledvodka (WIP): I like this one because they both fall in love with each other but Yuuri’s a stubborn butt and thinks Victor only sees him for the sex (which is totally not true). Lotsa angst, lotsa smut, oodles of fluff in between. 

Summary: Katsuki Yuuri is an accomplished escort at 23, operating under the pseudonym Eros, in Detroit. When one of his favourite clients sets him up with none other than world-renowned figure skater Victor Nikiforov, the delicate balance between Yuuri's personal and professional life teeters ever closer towards ruin.

PS I miss you. by  Viktor__Nikiforov (WIP): Yuuri’s an aspiring artist and Victor’s his normal figure skating legend self. They meet on the internet after Victor finds Yuuri’s fanart and they eventually start dating. Online love turns into irl love. So cute, so floof, much smut.

Summary: When Yuuri's Idol follows him on instagram, praising his art, Yuuri might have had a heartattack. But what happens when their internet friendship becomes more. Can it work? Internet love AU that noone really asked for.

Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches by Reiya (Complete): The ultimate Rivalry AU. I honestly love this fic so much. It’s so beautifully written and really pulls at my heartstrings. Mucho recommended. Lotta angst, lotta smut, lotta pining but with a happy ending!

Summary: ‘…Of all the rivalries in the world of sports over the years, perhaps none has become so legendary as that of Russian figure skater Viktor Nikiforov and his rival, Japanese Yuuri Katsuki…’

A single event changes the course of Yuuri’s life, throwing him into a bitter rivalry with Viktor Nikiforov that spans across his entire skating career. But as the years go on, rivalry and hatred begin to develop into something very different and Yuuri doesn’t seem to be able to stay away, no matter how hard he tries.

Hatred and love are two sides of the same coin and even though everything changes, some things are still meant to be.

Of Bright Stars and Burning Hearts by Reiya (WIP):  This one is Victor’s POV for Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches. It helps to read UMFB first. Lotta angst, lotta smut, lotta pining. 

Summary: Viktor doesn’t remember the first time he met Yuuri Katsuki. This however, is what Viktor does remember…

Part 2 of the Rivals series and companion fic to ‘Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches’. One small change alters the course of both Viktor and Yuuri’s entire lives, throwing them into a bitter rivalry that spans across many years and creates a world where they both tell a very different side to the story.

Like a Fairytale by lucycamui (Complete): Y’all know I love me some AUs (hell most of the fics on this list are some sort of AU). This one is basically a Cinderella AU where Yuuri is a skilled baker who’s family provides the palace with goodies for a ball and Victor is of course the beautiful prince charming that throws a second ball just to get the chance to see his cute lil’ baker again.

Summary: In which Prince Victor gets swept off his feet at a royal banquet and will go to any length to find his 'Cinderella' Yuuri. (And Phichit is the fairy godmother who has no idea what he's doing).   

[snowdropsandtigers]

I'd love to see you talk about the Black Magician Trilogy! I don't have a specific date in mind, so feel free to slot it in wherever, but it's always exciting to find other fans!

I am so sorry thisis late. I planned for it to be up at the end of January and then gotbusy, and it had been so long since I’ve talked to another fan Ineeded to figure out where to start.  I knew it would be a longpost—I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to make it long out offeeling rusty, but I knew it would be if I really got into it. Sohere it is at last.

Before I get intothe books themselves, I want to spend two paragraphs on somethingthat defined my experience with the series: the Black Magiciantrilogy forums I joined as “LittleRaven” during the mid2000s. Idedicate this post to its members. Wherever you are now, I love you.

I love the BlackMagician trilogy* the way I love Harry Potter. The books still feellike home to me. Part of the reason is the fandom: while Harry Potterfandom does have that sense of familiarity and coziness as I rememberdays past, it was in the Black Magician trilogy fandom that I found acommunity. Specifically, in the Black Magician trilogy forums (June2006-October/November 2012) hosted on then-platform Forumer (Ithink.) This was the first time I was ever an active part of fandom.I’d left reviews on fics, sure. I’d joined Yahoo Groups andoccasionally commented. I’d even written/plotted one or two ficsfor my earliest fandoms, Pokemon and Sailor Moon, though I neverposted them. But in the forums, I meta’d. I squeed. I posted mypoetry. I shared and even modded one of the subforums for a fewyears. (I was The Librarian of the fanfic/original fiction section.) We even talked about social issues with the books and the fandomresponse, without it ever becoming a war. It was one of thefriendliest fandoms I’d ever known, and small, so everyone kneweach other. I joined the first summer—probably the first monthtoo—after nearly two years of barely finding any fanworks for oneof my favorite series in the world, and I was not disappointed. Therewere years I didn’t show up a lot, but I always came back. ThenForumer sold its forums to Yuku and Yuku closed it down. It said thatmembers had been sent an invitation, and that it would reopen theforums as soon as one of the administrators made contact. I don’tknow why—to save space? In that case, the forums must have beenwiped from the Internet years ago because both our administratorswere long gone. One of the moderators, another member who, like me,had been there since the beginning, tried to contact the admin who’dstuck around longest and had no luck. I only knew this because Iremembered a member’s FF.Net alias and made a desperate attempt tofind out what was going on. I still miss it. The place had sloweddown a lot, but was still active everyday, and occasionally an oldermember would peek back in. Even when it seemed like we had saideverything we could about the books, we could still chat about otherfiction and even a little about our lives. The series would cycleback into discussion regardless, especially when the prequel and thesequels began coming out. (I really regret that it happened before Icould finish the last book and talk about it.) I’ve never been socomfortable in a fandom before and I haven’t been since.

Traces remain, atleast. We had a website with fanart; Trudi Canavan even commented inthe guestbook once. It was up the lasttime I checked, though my bookmarks were lost in a crash and I’veforgotten the link’s URL. (I searched before posting and it’s frozen. :C ) I remember Sheepy-Pie creating character plushies and thatshe gave some to Canavan at an event. They were so adorable! Iremember Lady Laura and Kasloumor and j-mercuryuk, Ronan, Akkarin,Lorlyn, ShadowEmpress, Lady Vinara, andso many others; I’ve only mentioned the people who stick out forhaving been there the longest or in the periods I was most active.

Now, the seriesitself. At fourteen, I was hooked by the heroine and the classpolitics; I don’t think much of the fantasy I’d read before thendealt with the latter, and while a marginalized protagonist wasnothing strange, Sonea’s reserved personality for most of the booksand her alienation worked on a different level for me**. She was aworking class girl on the edge of poverty being displaced into theslums. The tension of the two different lives she was pulled tobefore she became a magician got me and really grounded hercharacter. Grounded is the right word, really. She had old friends inthe slums she still loved but was distant from, and it made sensewith her background and the world-building. She remains distrustfulof the magicians and the higher-class world they’re connected tothroughout the entire series. She’s never popular, though sometimesrespected. She was hated and harassed, and often isolated to apainful degree, but she had people who cared. This sounds a bitvague; let’s say the second book—The Novice, for anyreaders unfamiliar—is a bit like the fifth book of Harry Potter, ifHarry was more isolated from his loved ones and more conscious of whyhis environment is working the way it is.  If instead of having afriend group where it’s “us against the world” adventures, he’dhad friends in different places—literally or figuratively—whohelp when they can, complicated by the difficulties of plot andsetting and life choices. I love Sonea’s reactions throughout:practical, carefully responsive to genuine attempts to reach out,perceptive, intense empathetic, blunt, impulsive, and very strictabout her personal code of ethics. Also, she liked poetry and thenarrative didn’t use that to create a hazy image of her as wispyand romantic. I liked that detail!

And she could besoft without being soft—she would help someone, she would treatpeople with respect for their humanity, but it didn’t mean she hadto be forgiving and throw herself into them. Or that she had toforget. If she didn’t fight someone, or didn’t fight the wayothers might expect, it was well-grounded in her personality, and  nomatter what she always resisted in whatever way she could, regardlessof it being glamorous in even the fictional kind of way. She hadtenacity. Sonea is a prime example of Goodis Not Soft. She was sensible, tough, and kind. As I said,empathetic. The way the first two books moved the plot while buildingher character made the third book work very well for me as payoff. Itwas always my favorite: the nature of the plot twist and Sonea’sresponse to it made perfect sense for who she’d been until now, andthe love story is one of my favorite executions of my favorite kindof ship, the heroine/antagonist. In large part because this was herstory. It wasn’t his story, or their story as a couple—althoughhis characterization, and that of everyone else, was well-served andcared about—but hers.  The books cared so much about Sonea’sinteriority and never subordinated her to the needs of plot, theme,or another character. I could believe why she loved and respected him(again, for the unfamiliar reader: the romance is not at theforefront of the story at any point.) I could believe why she wouldmake the decisions she made, in and out of romance, based on what shethought of the world and what she thought of herself. She’s soinformed by everything that came before, so solid. And I love thatshe made them; Sonea drives so much of her own story, especially inthe first and third books. She’s so active in the last one! Evenwhen she’s not as in charge of her life, I love how the books, assaid above, care very much about exploring her point of view in everysituation. Having limited choices, limited agency, doesn’t everreduce her to a prop: she remains three-dimensional, our clearprotagonist.  Sonea is well-rooted in her background, in the plot,and in the class politics story the narrative is interested intelling.    

The sequels aren’tas much about her, but they do present a believable trajectory forher character. Sonea is older, still fighting the world around herbecause she must, and because she cares, and taking support where shecan as soon as she recognizes it. The way she handles her son isperfect. And while I don’t have a rosy opinion of her new loveinterest, I love that the romance didn’t come with a capital R!It’s just someone she grows to trust and care for and wants to havesex with. I came away with the distinct impression that he loved herand she just liked him all right, and that that was just fine by thenarrative. Positive even, a good ending that left her story in aplace of renewal and refreshment. The sequel trilogy does well byher.

Another thing ofnote: I hadn’t realized it on the first read-through, but betweensome cultural details, the physical descriptions of Sonea and otherKyralians, and the author saying on her website (in a FAQ or a blogpost) that she was influenced by anime and Japan for Kyralia, Soneais the first POC and WOC protagonist I ever encountered in fantasyfiction, outside of anime/manga and Disney Princesses. I’m glad shewas done so well. I won’t say I’m without reservations on raceand this series, though; but I’ve never felt qualified to talkabout it. I am a brown woman, but I’m unsure of exactly whatcontext to place the series in, so I don’t know how to talk aboutthe ways it interacts with that context. I’ll just say that beforethe sequel trilogy, it bothered me that the darker-skinned Sachakanswere associated with slavery and decadence. I did think the sequeland prequel improved on this very much.

Something else thesequels did better with was the queer stuff. I liked Dannyl andTayend in the first trilogy, but they get a whole lot moreexploration in the second. And Lilia is one of the few lesbianprotagonists I’ve found in fantasy fiction. I did have issues withthe twist in the Naki plotline, but I’m glad she got a goodgirlfriend in the end. And a mentor in Sonea! If I remember it right;I don’t think I’ve reread the books since The Traitor Queencame out, and I’m not sure I reread that one. I think I was toobummed by losing the forums at the same time, and not having a placeto immerse myself in anymore.  So I don’t know how much I can sayabout the execution. But I did think Canavan did a fine job with hercharacterization, and I’m glad she went for more representation,more queer characters and more queer relationships that get narrativeattention and depth.  

I’ve gone on solong and I didn’t even talk about the prequel! I focused the poston Sonea and the prequel is set centuries before her time.  Iremember thinking it was a very effective setup for the futureconflicts Canavan had developed and would continue to develop in thesequel trilogy; I love that she’s so committed to the ramificationsof her political world-building on the characters and the plot. Itfelt, as her other works have done, bittersweet and real.

 Overall, I thinkTrudi Canavan does an excellent job of following fantasy tropes tocreate something that sets itself apart from the rest. Her scope isepic and personal, grounded in the characters, who are grounded inthe world-building. Everything is so well-integrated, feels socohesive. This is one of the most, if not the most, loving and richexecutions of the “poor orphan child with mysteriously powerfulmagic” stories I have ever encountered.***

It’s been a longtime since my last reread—probably since 2012, when the last bookcame out. I feel the urge to go back. Thank you so much for this ask!I hadn’t talked about these books in literally years; I was myability to do that had gone stale, and here I am, being so happy totalk about why I loved them. This has been a wonderful time to write.I’m only sorry it took so long to get out!

*It’s been aseries for years now, but I keep defaulting to “trilogy” when Ithink about it. I’ve been a fan for a long time. I greatly enjoyedthe rest of the books, but the original trilogy does occupy a spaceas as the trilogy for more than half the time I spent infandom, if memory serves. (And now I’ve checked, I remember thatthe sequels are called The Traitor Spy trilogy. So there’s thattoo!)

**Now I realizeshe’s a precursor to Emma Swan. I love finding connections betweencharacters I love. Although every time I connect someone to Emma SwanI always add “if Once Upon a Time’s narrative cared about herlike these other narratives do with their heroines!” Every time.

***I also lovedAlison Croggon’s books (The Naming and sequels—I thinkit’s the Pellinor series) for this, and talked about it on the BMTforums. I wasn’t the only one who loved them! They do have a moremythic, Tolkien-like tone and story than the Black Magician books,which are more overtly human-scaled. I compare them because they’reboth careful and detailed about their stories, and their narrativesshow love for the heroines by exploring their interiority, from painto joy, with dedication and respect.