#but then her fans go about how she is the best lyricist or something and like- | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

opalobviously · 7 months ago

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Me personally, involving the Drake n Kendrick beef?

I'm a full Kendrick fan, West Coast Mfs-but, I can see what Drake was *going* for.

His problem was he was treating this like he was just battling a rapper with less numbers than him. On Paper? this is true, and Drake's strategy for the beef makes sense.

-Respond to Like that with push-ups, a decent hit, clearing out all of his opponents at once except for Kendrick (And, little did he know, Rick Ross n Future)

-troll a bit and goad Kendrick into responding faster so he could slam him (I don't think he went abt this right, and I will elaborate on that in a second)

-after he gets a chance to let his responses out? Killshot. Bring in the heavy hits, the allegations, make it clear you won the beef, and dip, make it clear the smaller artist simply isn't worth more time and effort.

It's overall not a bad strategy....on paper.

But this is Kendrick Lamar.

As Any Avid Kendrick Fan will tell you, Kendrick is a Masterful Lyricist, a pretty deep dude in general, and, above all, a man who is persistent in using his music to push a message no matter what. Beyond the Moral high ground this seems to place him on at times, that simply means he isn't gonna give up. Drake should have expected more bombs after Family matters-in fact, he should have expected a lot. So, I'm gonna be going over how I personally would have done the beef with Kendrick, because at a certain point it was inevitable.

Pushups:

To be perfectly honest, I think Pushups was a great song. It was a decent response to Like that, as well as snapping back at the other people aimed at Drake, like Rick Ross, Future, Metro Boomin, the Weeknd, and I believe Ja Morant, even aiming a light stray at J Cole for dipping. At this point in the beef, it was still up to either side, so I make no changes here.

Taylor Made Freestyle

Definitely what I consider the first Lyrical Fuck Up of the beef. Considering the Allegations on Drake not being a real rapper, being a culture Vulture, and having ghost writers, I genuinely cannot see how he thought using AI voices was a good idea in the slightest, not only of the legendary Snoop Dogg, but of the Late Great Tupac Shakur. In the eyes of almost anyone west Coast, it highlights the fact that you don't give a single solitary FUCK about the culture, much less are a part of it. What I do here, is simply adjust the angle. I still think that dropping Taylor Made is important, but I abandon the AI idea in it's entirety. Instead, I focus much more heavily on the Taylor swift and K dot thing, calling him pussy in as many ways as possible without using AI. Maybe a couple bars along the lines of:

Sniper from the mountain aiming low so I can Pop a Vet Aimed at the king but you missed, now I'm Cocking Back Can't believe some white chick is the reason you ain't Dropping yet She probably make you get her more money for her Private Jet

Reasonable lyrics for a beef like it was at the time I think. Contains a couple double entendres, sounds decent, hits pretty hard, and has the same general intent: Make Kendrick mad, and give him more that he has to respond to.

Family Matters

Family matters is probably drake's best song in the beef, and it makes sense. he had intended for it to be the KILLSHOT, and I am willing to wager that he had at least some parts of it ready as soon as he dropped Pushups, just waiting to see Kendrick's response so he could add something responding to his own song and make it a complete slam. If I'm Drake here, I focus more on the wife beater allegation, just by a little bit. To be clear, how Drake (or his ghost writers?) did it was very good, with a hard hitting quotable line

"When you put your hands on your girl, is it self defense cuz she bigger than you?"

Even my family, all west coast ride or dies, thought Drake got Kendrick when Family matters dropped. It was great, the timing of it, the intensity of it, the fact it dropped same day as 6:16 in LA, it was just awesome.

Then....the real bomb dropped.

Dealing with Meet the Grahams

It was at this point in the beef that Drake was CLEARLY cooked. that was a fucking horror scene. The worst part is that Drake couldn't use the same route: Kendrick aired out his own dirty laundry on Mr Morale. It would be stupid to try and use that angle anyway, Kendrick predicted it all the way back in Euphoria. So, the KILLSHOT didn't work. Here, if I'm Drake, I'm panicked, because a response is needed, but if it's lackluster, that's it. First, deny the allegations of pedophilia IMMEDEATELY (I'm pretending that in this universe I am a Drake, who did not commit anything listed here). The daughter I can reveal as a fake later, let them talk, let hype build up. but the Pedo shit? can't fly, can't let me turn into P Diddy. once that's in place, I spend maybe 2 days working on a final kill shot

The Heart Part 6

My problem with this one is that it felt like he was trying to go out on his own terms when the people clearly did not want that. his biggest fans needed to see him Whoop Kendrick back, not say it's summer vibes time. now, the fake daughter drop? genius if it's true, however, the IMMEDEATE denial of it earlier makes the move have less oomph, so I don't do that myself. also, FOR GODS SAKE DONT BRING UP MR MORALE IDIOT, HE LITERALLY TOLD EVERYONE YOU WOULD DO THAT IN LIKE THE FIRST PART OF EUPHORIA

"Fabricating stories on the family front, cuz you heard Mr Morale

A pathetic Master Manipulator I can smell the tales on you now..."

Exapserated sigh at this Canadian Dumbass

Anyway. What I do is the daughter drop, and deny, questioning the Validity of the rest of Kendrick's claims. Maybe, just maybe, make a hint to Michael Jackson having been Alleged of the same stuff? they never did prove he did it you know, and they straight up patted him down, took him to court, everything. It'd be a decent comparison, because a decent amount of people are still conflicted on whether he did it, even with all evidence pointing to say he did not. After that? idk, but I would personally make a song on BBL drizzy to make fun of Metro Groomin.

ACTUALLY.

that's exactly what I would do.

Make a song on BBL drizzy, dissing Kendrick for affiliating with Metro, of whom just as much if not more proof of grooming tendencies is out as Drake, thanks to those damn tweets (Metro was born in 1993, no matter how you spin it, the earliest of the tweets he was 18, 2011, and the tweet "She may be young but she ready" happens in 2014, when he's 21 years old. concerning to say the least)

"You a hypocrite Dot, Idiot Dot, and above all you a liar. How you shooting at any pervert that lives, but Metro's out the line of Fire?"

and yeah, that's about it.

Kendrick totally won btw, this is a theoretical "What if Drake was ACTUALLY a rapper, not a little bitch boy who uses ghostwriters and AI to do all his work?"

#kendrick lamar #drake #metro boomin

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atopearth · 3 months ago

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Scandal in the Spotlight Part 1 - Kyohei Rikudoh Route (up to S3 Give Me Forever)

I really like Scandal in the Spotlight!! I've only played like two stories though hahaha. I'm hoping the sequel stories are just as good so I'm excited~ Lmaoo when Kota called that creep a pig in a wig😂 Anyway, Kyohei is the first guy (which is usually the most popular one) but I've actually never played his story before! It's pretty funny because his looks are definitely my type! Lol when she accidentally sees him half-naked and she stares at him for so long, he's like why don't you take a picture😂😂 HAHAHAH OMG the heroine got a nosebleed😂😂😂 Now he thinks she's a pervert, that is hilarious but so embarrassing!!🤣 Honestly, I understand their desperation and stuff of needing a new lyricist after Ryo left, but I do remember thinking the guys are usually quite harsh with the heroine when it comes to writing lyrics. I mean, yeah they don't have a lot of time blah blah, but still.. Kyohei is an ass with how much he forces the heroine to write and says he'll destroy her screenwriting career if she runs away. Like yeah, he's probably doing it for "her sake" because she's giving up too easily, but really, his attitude and way of expressing it is veryyy unpleasant. I appreciate him for showing her how much people like the lyrics she wrote (that Ryo took) but yeah.

Wow, I knew Kyohei was harsh on himself and resolved to be at the top for some reason, but I didn't think he felt guilty for causing his father's death when he was only 27 because his father saved him from drowning and basically died in his place. It's something his father wouldn't regret, but I can see why it would hurt Kyohei. His father was so loved by his fans and everyone around the world, so if he's not as big as him, it would feel like his father "wasted" his life saving him, when really, Kyohei being alive and happy would be enough for any parent who loves their child. I'm glad that Kyohei showed such care for the heroine and tried to relieve a bit of the pressure he gave her before by telling her that Revance's success or failure isn't her problem nor is it solely dependent on her. It's silly of the heroine to be so focused on thinking about the lyrics that she ended up fainting in the bath, but the good thing is that at least Kyohei can see how seriously she is taking it. I love how when Shinya found out her real role in Revance and asked her to write songs for him, and she looked at Kyohei, and Kyohei told the heroine to not look at him because this is her life and she should decide for herself. Yeah, honestly his attitude isn't the best, but he's straightforward and honest, and I like that about him. He tells her how much he wants and needs her to be their songwriter and he doesn't hide how he told her more about his dad because he doesn't want her to leave and I admire how honest he is about trying to get her to stay with his own methods.

Honestly, Shinya liking the heroine is so random, but I guess he likes her more because she's interested in Kyohei more than for himself, since he seems obsessed with Kyohei lol. Considering how much experience Kyohei has and everything, I'm sure it's easier for him to deal with Shinya than it is to find a new song, so I definitely think the heroine is silly for giving up her lyrics in exchange for Shinya to keep her secret of being a ghostwriter etc, like lady, he's just going to keep doing this! Shinya is such a...weird guy lol. So creepy but just randomly redeems himself at the end? Naaah I don't think so lol, he's been such an ass. So I guess the romantic ending where the guys save Kyohei from making a scene is much better haha. Personally, I think the dramatic ending was better because it put more emphasis on the song, and I love how Kyohei showcased at the concert his ballad which was a reply to her love song. I just thought it was really sweet. But they do get some sexy time in the romantic ending so I guess you don't want to miss that out😂 Overall, I wasn't too impressed with Kyohei's main story since it definitely felt more like he was using her most of the time than he was in love with her, she was just like a bonus lol. Hopefully the sequels are better! I'm glad we got to see Kyohei's PoV because alot of the time I wasn't too sure how I felt about their relationship, and it felt like he cared but also didn't, so it was nice to see clarification that all along, he really did notice the heroine and care for her haha.

Honestly, even though it was frustrating that the heroine couldn't communicate with Kyohei properly even when he knew something was up and asked her directly about it, I couldn't help but feel for her. She is dating a celebrity that so many people love and want, it's hard for her to not feel like she's "nothing" compared to him and feel lost about whether she can handle seeing him with other women in commercials etc. I'm so glad Kyohei acknowledged her feelings and reassured her that they're valid, that he loves her, that he thinks she's amazing (which she is considering how great her lyrics are lol) and that if he's amazing, then the woman who made him fall for her must be even more amazing haha. I'm so happy that Kyohei got through to her how much he loves and cherishes her. Omg Kyohei getting into the bathtub with the heroine, hugging her from behind and kissing her is so hot, I love it. I agree with Ryo that he really did something unforgivable as a songwriter, which was to steal the heroine's lyrics, but you can tell how desperate and broken he must be if he was driven to do that. It doesn't make it better, but seeing how sad, how jealous he is of the heroine's talent and how he doesn't know how to get out of his slump is just heartbreaking imo.

It was sweet to see how confidently Kyohei answered that even if Ryo comes back, the heroine would still be their lyricist and that her songs are different from Ryo's and that her songs are just as important to Revance as Ryo's are. LMAO when the guys started playing the characters in the heroine's script. Legit died because of how corny the lines were but it was so funny seeing the guys act it out haha! On another note, it was really nice to see how strict Kyohei was in giving his opinion on the heroine's screenplay. He's harsh but direct and honest. Omg Kyohei enacting a wake up call for a show was so hot, I can see why the audience went crazy haha! So cool for the heroine that her script will be used for a play, that's definitely a great achievement! It honestly broke my heart when Kyohei said they should stop seeing each other, my first thought literally was, I don't want to break up! What is he saying! I know and recognise that it's difficult if he plans to expand into the international market while the heroine wants to stay here and focus on screenplays rather than lyrics but still! I am actually so glad Kyohei changed his mind and went back to apologise to the heroine and win her back. I loved how he used the audition to tell her that he wants them both to chase and achieve their dreams together and that he can't do it without her anymore. I think I especially loved the talk on the radio show when he said "even if it took longer to reach the end, I'd want to go with the person I love". Considering how long and how much Kyohei wants to achieve this dream of his, knowing that the heroine is important enough that he feels like delaying it to achieve it alongside her makes me happy. I really enjoyed the Sequel His PoV, I think it's always great to see how the Revance guys support each other, but it was also nice to see Kyohei struggle with his "selfishness" and his desires against what's best for the heroine.

Did the story ever mention Kyohei having a sister because I'm shocked!! I didn't realise he had a mother either hahaha! Anyway, I love how he helped the heroine get acknowledgment for her hard work as a writer on stage after the play, that was very sweet. Surprisingly, Kyohei's teenage years are much more interesting than I thought! Like it's basically what I expected minus the fact I didn't realise he had a sister and mother haha but it's really nice to see how everything fell into place as he gathered up the courage and ambition to live up to his father and surpass him. At least they get along haha, it's nice that the heroine has been accepted too. It's also nice to see that the group once upon a time had another guy that ended up leaving for his respective reasons and then meet him again. I'm quite happy for the heroine that she's getting to pursue her dreams as a writer and focusing on that, just not sure about the new guys lol. It's sweet to see Kyohei supporting her and encouraging her by checking in on her. I loved it when the heroine and Kyohei didn't meet for a week and she was so happy to see him, and he was like why is she just staring longingly when she can leap into his arms like she wants hahahha. Honestly, with how exhausted she must be churning out stories for Fumito to read, she definitely should because I would definitely want to haha! Kyohei's encouragement is honestly the best, it makes me feel touched and motivated too. He's right, our goals aren't something flimsy, just because we haven't been acknowledged yet doesn't mean we're no good! Ritsuto really is the type of guy to be really nice once he acknowledges or likes someone lol. I like his straightforward attitude towards Revance's first LA performance and I enjoyed the heroine giving her honest opinion about them not being able to capture the audience here, which is very understandable imo. They're nervous, it's their first gig, they're not used to the country and they haven't grasped the feel of the audience here even if they've done their research, and honestly, Japan and LA is very different vibes.

It was understandable for Kyohei to feel jealous of Ritsuto in terms of being close to the heroine and as an established celebrity in this country. Especially considering how nice he is to the heroine and how much he helps her when that's what Kyohei used to do for her, but the best thing is that Kyohei didn't hide how bummed he was about it and actually told her. Ritsuto was definitely too much when he did what he did, that was really terrible considering they're not exactly on bad terms and he's trying to steal the heroine from Kyohei when he's down. Anyway, I loved how the answer they both reached was to stay true to themselves when it comes to their work and their life. I think it would have been better if we had a better grasp that the heroine was writing stories that's not her style as well but it's okay, the story focused on Revance and their struggles in adapting to a different country. It was nice to see Kyohei realise that regardless of what country it is, the people watch their performances wherever they are in the world so they'll love who they are and not what they expect them to be. Overall, I wasn't sure how to think of it when I first started but I actually really loved S2 with the heroine and Kyohei separated but in the same country working hard towards their individual goals with their individual struggles. Even though their work was different and they had different aims, they both found it difficult to adapt in a different country catering to the people around them rather than being true to themselves and what they love and want to show to people. Of course, not everyone gets to be like our main characters and get to stay true themselves and still be loved, but at least for this story we can relish in that, and that makes me happy for them. Seeing things from Kyohei's perspective really displays well how dejected he was all this time. Not only was he hit with rejection after rejection but with a lacking fanbase and no clear direction on how he wants the band to be, coupled with Ritsuto being amazing and popular, it's hard to stay cheerful and positive. I'm so glad Kyohei took the heroine out to Las Vegas and spent some quality time together whilst getting to watch a performance there and be inspired. I really feel like Fumito needs to let the heroine have time to experience things outside instead of just holing up at home writing lol.

Honestly, I find the heroine's decision to go back to Japan kind of weird? She has such a great opportunity to learn from Fumito aiming to improve her screenwriting, and he tells her what she needs improvement on and gives her opportunities etc and she wants to go back to Japan when she hasn't really learnt that much at all?? People would be dying for this opportunity! Like I understand that she feels like she's relying on others but when you first start out, having someone experienced look over your work and help you improve it is a dream come true. Like it's probably because Kyohei and them are going to go back so she needs an excuse to go back too but seriouslyyyy. It was so sweet how supportive all the guys were when the heroine was down from all the rejections, and it made me so happy for her that they tell her that at least one of them has to be free to hear her out whether it be happy news or good news, she's so lucky haha! It was so great to have Kyohei properly acknowledge the heroine as Revance's lyricist in their comeback concert, it made me so smile so much! Hearing Kyohei say he wants to write the lyrics for the song himself made me so happy for him, he really wants to surpass his father in everything he could do and do it even better. I like how even when the heroine is imagining Kyohei proposing to her, he's still as arrogant (in a cool way) as ever 🤣 I wonder if Kyohei feels like he's limiting the heroine and doesn't want her to be fixated on being Revance's lyricist when she can do so much more if she's not exclusive, and yeah being a lyricist and scriptwriter for her movie would be great and appealing, but more important than that is what the heroine wants to do. She didn't work so hard all this time to do stuff she doesn't want to do just because it gives her more fame or something, otherwise she could have stayed in LA. I'm kinda glad that she was able to feel things when Shinya played the song for her, it is her work after all and if she wants to do it, she should, otherwise she'll regret it. And I'm glad Kyohei knew that and that's why he wanted to push her, I think it was really cute when he called her Little Miss Rival haha, but I'm happy that the heroine finally truly feels like she's stepping into the world. I find it very silly that Shinya made a move that jeopardised the drama and didn't do anything about it and didn't get reprimanded or anything lol, but I admit that seeing Kyohei do that press conference with her really showed how much he cares for the heroine. I don't know how I ended up on the dramatic love ending lmao but I loved it especially when Kyohei used the heroine's rejected lyrics (that sounded too much like a proposal to Kyohei) to make a song and sing it to her at the concert, it was so touching! It also made me really happy that Kyohei achieved his dream and the heroine's song was a success. I loved Kyo's PoV because it was so wonderful to watch over him, Taka and Ryo band together to create the song that will surpass his father, and to see him play it for his mother to hear, that was really beautiful.

Overall, I am smitten with Kyohei. I actually love him and the heroine so much because it was so beautiful to watch them grow together. They both had dreams of creating hits in the industry whether it be for recognition or to surpass his father and I loved how step by step, they both encouraged each other, supported each other and loved each other despite all the setbacks and issues coming at them trying to break their determination. They wouldn't have been able to do it alone, but you could really see how by having each other, even if they were physically apart, just knowing that they respectively were working hard towards their dreams made them both never want to give up and do their best and I think watching over them do that was so touching and sweet. It also helps that Kyohei is charming, exudes confidence but not arrogant and is very loving. You can really feel how much he cherishes the heroine, how much he needs her just as much she needs him and how they really are equals by the end. I really enjoyed their story and their love and I'm not sure who else can top them!

#scandal in the spotlight #voltage inc

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greenerteacups · 7 months ago

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Merry Swiftmas! I saw your note at the end of the most recent chapter. What are you Tortured Poet Department thoughts and feelings?

Literally just got back from a listening party so this is all coming in VERY fresh and unprocessed but first reactions:

The unfortunate exigencies of Industry Shit have kind of hurt Swift creatively because (1) she's been taught she can have her cake and eat it too with the Grammy-winning 15-track sonically cohesive tone album if she just drops it separately as the first act of a 30-song behemoth deluxe edition/multiverse of bonus tracks, and (2) the Vault Tracks have taught her that fans actually do want to hear every single thing she writes, even if she (rightly) might have thought it wasn't release-quality 5-10 years ago. Long story short there is a good album in here but it needs to be TIGHTLY pruned out because a lot of these songs are either underwritten or underdeveloped or both. She should've focused her energy on improving a smaller set (i.e. cleaning out some of the clunker lines, tightening melodies, giving each song its own identity) and cutting like, more or less the last third of the tracks. That being said! I did like a lot of it.

I also think some people fail to understand Swift is a pop artist making pop music. When we say she's a good lyricist, we don't mean she's fucking Samuel Coleridge, it means she uses the medium of a pop song successfully to communicate a mood or an emotional experience. Pop is vernacular; it's supposed to evoke the kind of language you hear every day. Not surprisingly, I find her at her best when she's not trying to affect some kind of heightened poetic mood. Songs like "Would've, Could've, Should've" straddle this line pretty well for me, because it's not affected, it's just... intelligently thought-through. It's a single metaphor, taken from multiple angles, explained well, and set to a great melody. It's not trying to impress you, but it still does. Anyway.

Miscellaneous/specific thoughts:

"Guilty as Sin?" is my favorite, it's going to be one of my most played songs of the year, both for reasons of Oh Shit It Me and because I'm just straight up in love with the sound of this motherfucker. No analysis it makes the happy juices in the brain go

Other favorites: So Long London, Fresh Out The Slammer, The Bolter, Daddy I Love Him

"thank you aimee" is a reprise of "Mean" addressed semi-obviously to Kim K/the Collective Nation of Haters of Taylor Swift, which was a weak diss track when it was a teenager singing it and has not improved in the mouth of a 30-something artist

"But Daddy I Love Him" is conversely a very successful ironic reprise of "Love Story," and I'm fond of it because it reads like a love letter to the girls who grew up on that song

Interesting strains of Reputation on "Little Old Me," I feel like there was an earlier draft of this song that went harder on the Bad Blood/Don't Blame Me vibe, but she's still scarred from the critical reaction to reputation and hasn't fully gone there since. Which is why someday I will throttle the Pitchfork editor with my bare hands

Florida!!! feels like it needed some more production besides Jack Antonoff sitting on the synths with a jackhammer but I do like it. The bridge/second half sounds a lot like a Bleachers song (compliment)

"So High School" was sweet and I was surprised by how much I liked that and "The Alchemy," both of which are fun but ultimately simple and sentimental — which is GOOD to be clear I don't go looking for Proust in my pop music, and simplicity can be a virtue

However, I scream-laughed in a full room when I heard the line "you can ball and I know Aristotle," and I look forward to thinking about it once a day for the next forever. Insane. So good. Also, like — Taylor, have you read the Politics? You are legally obligated to tell us now if you have read the Politics.

#greenteacup asks

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chwrpg · 1 year ago

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EDWIN "TEDDY" LAFUENTE. rock star; twenty-one. xolo maridueña. OPEN.

and, as ted logan once said: “All we are is dust in the wind, dude.”

BEFORE THE PARTY

Edwin LaFuente— more commonly known by the nickname given to him by his legion of fans, Teddy might not be the brightest light bulb in the tool shed. No, that wasn't leading to a but. He's not exactly academically gifted and he'd be the first to let you know, although there's a variety of other things Teddy did very well. For one, his knack to perfectly assess someone's zodiac sign, it was almost freaky how well he could take one look at someone and know exactly what their sign was. His ability to never have a bad hair day. There wasn't a day those perfectly perfect curls on his head weren't perfect. And the worst part, he didn't even try. Not to mention, he'd been a star soccer player for a spell during his tenure at the famed Rosewood Academy, in fact that's what had allowed him to attend the school. Not that he stuck to it given that his true love had been one thing and one thing only. Music. Sure, his abilities on the field had been his golden ticket but music had been what fed his soul. For as long as he could remember ( a shocker he'd retained these moment given memory wasn't a thing Teddy was known for ) Teddy had a knack for music. A talent that his mother and father had stood divided on. See, his father believed in nurturing his god given talent whilst his mother didn't want her son to end up a lowly busker, singing his shoulda, woulda, coulda's for some spare change. She wanted him to thrive, to have a better life than the one she and her husband had. So she pushed for him to excel at things that would get him further ahead, academics and athletics but Teddy rejected these things at every pass— his father taking note of this pushback and instead fed his love for music. He'd get his son the latest Weezer record as he enjoyed the whimsy of their lyrics. He took Teddy to guitar lessons, as an incentive to get his son to try to placate his mother and it'd definitely worked. But he wasn't cut out for the Troy Bolton life. So as soon as he could, he devoted his entire life to the one thing he loved. Music. His passion soon translated to success, as he'd caught the attention of his classmate and fellow music aficionado— Benny Peleke. And the rest was as they say, history. The two couldn't be more different on paper; Benny having came from an affluent background, Teddy having not. Benny actually cared about his grades, whilst Teddy only cared because he didn't want to hear it from his mama. Benny had charm and charisma in droves, Teddy still got tongue tied at the mere thought of asking someone for their number. But what did they have in common? Their love for music. With Benny's knowledge in marketing and social media combined with Ted's talent, the two knew they had something. Benny then suggested that his main squeeze, Penny Lane sing vocals on their tracks. When the three came together, it'd been lightening in a bottle. Their name, their music instantly becoming inescapable. Soon, in came the accolades, the fame and by his side, his best friend. The person who'd made all of his dreams become a reality. He'd been able to do what he loved for a boat load of money, whilst making both of his parents proud of him. All was righteous in his world. Well... that was until Penny Lane had decided she was better off a solo act.

DURING THE PARTY

What was going to become of Benny and him? Like yeah, they would probably continue as a duo, and he wouldn't complain about that because he'd get to keep rocking out with his best bud... but it wasn't like neither one of them were lyricists. All those words, that was all Penny Lane's doing. He couldn't even begin to fathom how to put together a song. As Teddy continued to think about how different things were about to be for Benny and himself, he felt his mood start to mellow and that was the last thing he needed. No, what Benny and him needed was a good ol' night out. Something to simulate the mind, maybe that'll get words flowing out of the two of them. And luckily, they were back home in Rosewood, where every night was essentially a party. So he went about picking up their pre-party essentials, in hopes of getting Benny out of the funk he'd found himself post break up. Which he totally got, his main guy had just gotten his heart broken into a gazillion little pieces— but between us, Teddy had always thought Benny was way too good for Penny Lane, so he was going to do everything in his power to lift him back up. As he'd stepped out of the local supermarket, munchies in hand– he found himself blinded by a stray piece of paper. He reached up to remove it from his face, ready to toss it in the trash ( Teddy was strictly anti-litter) but curiosity got the best of him and he decided to read what was on it. That decision being one that Teddy would always be grateful for as the piece of paper was a flyer, one that was seeking band mates. A certain, Cliff Saito was looking to put together a band and well, Benny and himself were out a band member so perhaps... they were exactly what each other needed.

alternate faceclaims and prompts.

#teddy lafuente #ted logan #bill and ted's excellent adventure #openm #xolo maridueña

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rainingmbappe · 7 months ago

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i just listened to star by mitski and i won't lie to you that song was in my recommended for a few days before you had told me about it. i didn't check it out at first cause i don't listen to mitski that much (she makes me cry lol) but when you recommended it to me i thought "why not then".

i cannot really explain what i felt the first time i listened to it, yet i'm insanely grateful i was able to have my first listen because of you. even though the music video looks so "effortless" it feels so intimate and looks genuinely really beautiful. her expressions create a whole world, and i feel like a swiftie just describing everythingndfbsfbh but at least i can say that mitski is a real lyricist genius. (side eyeing the 14 y'os saying TTPD is the best album in the universe).

"keep a leftover light burning" this is so powerful idec, i always keep these memories with me, these times that made me so happy. and even though they don't feel so vivid anymore, they taste like leftovers yes, they warm my heart still. i can't even, i wish i had the ability to describe how i felt listening to that song (i'm listening to it again rn). i never had any relationship but i hold platonic love so deeply, much more than any romantic relationship i could ever have. i know this sounds contradictory and pathetic but i feel like i can be much more intimate with a friend through the things i feel and the things i say. i know i will never be judged by a true friend, i know i don't have to meet these certain expectations with them that would be needed in a romantic relationship (of course they're not the same but bfdbsjbfs idk if u get me).

i love to talk about anything with you, you feel so close and it soothes my soul to know that i'm not alone feeling so incredibly deep for some things people don't bat an eye for.

i was outside today with a friend and when i walked home i was drinking the last few drops of my redbull (this sounds so ridiculous) and had to look up and my eyes met the sky, i froze for a moment seeing the clouds move so fast because of the wind and i thought of you. i don't know, it feels comforting to know that we are both looking at the same moon, at the same sky, at the same sun. that even though you're a whole continent away, you're not that very far from me in reality. it's all about perspective. compared to the size of the universe that is always expanding, you're like a feet away from me.

sorry i'm talking too much, i'm just in my feels it's late and i miss you i wish i could have ig so we could talk about anything forever. i know that if i knew you irl i would bother you all the time with questions and tell you all the things that go through my mind, i never shut up.

i still have the dorian gray book and every time i read it i think of you. I had highlighted something that made me think of you, you had told me something personal and it reminded me of that thing but i had completely forgotten about it : "my dear fellow, i am not quite serious but i can't help detesting my relations. i suppose it comes from the fact that none of us can stand other people having the same faults as ourselves." i didn't highlight anything else in that book, just that one sentence. i'm so sorry this is getting so long dnjskjbfh you're probably tired of me rambling this much, just one thing, i loved your sky pics and i'm so glad you posted them. you and nikola have a real talent when it comes to capture the best sky pictures, it's like you own it.

i don't know what time it is for you it must be very late, have a good night and i hope you're doing well <3

Stop with the apologizing, you and I both know that I giggle and feel this kind of eternal bliss whenever I see your asks in my inbox. So yeah ssssshhhhhhh

Just wanna say how real that miski thing is. I literally avoid her music cause it's frankly too heavy for the everyday, plus I'm not the bigggeeessstt fan of her sound (still an amazing amazing artist nonetheless). Yk, I've said this a lot in my life, but the pursuit of romantic love seems a bit pointless to me as compared to any other strong bond. People might say that it's my inexperience that makes me say this, and I'm open to change, but I genuinely believe that platonic relationships are the fundamentals of being human. Experiencing such bonds in deep and profound ways stays and impacts people in such great ways. I think about familial relationships a lot too when I listen to star. I haven't lost anyone close in my life, but it's one of my irrational fears. And this song just struck that cord that, frankly, doesn't exist?? So that's so weird, isn't it. Then I started thinking about the platonic side of the song, which made it 939292 times worse loll

(BTW taylor shade SO REAAALLL)

And yes I get you completely. Friends don't jusdge you in that way yk??? Atleast some don't. And that feeling, ugh it's so so hard to describe but you know it if you've felt it.

AND oh my god I teared up when I read the cloud thing. I think constantly about how starting from dinosaurs, to Shakespeare, to messi and you, we all share the same sky. Claimed by none, tainted by none. I love that. We look at the same moon. Our eyes look at the same thing in the flesh. Isn't that bizarre? Its like this invisible string that connects us. And I'm so sorry if I sound weird but. I think of you a lot. This was in March, when I was just thinking about how I'll probably never meet anyone like you again. And I thought you had left for good and forever and that you were lost in the world. Even if I wanted, I'd never be able to reach you. And that thought precisely freaked me tf out. Cause. You would just be lost forever, wouldn't you? And I couldn't stand that thought and I cried just a tinnnyyyy bit (istg don't juddgeeeee). But these asks are literally my whole world. You don't even I don't expect you to but just know that when you sent in that first one, I wasn't sure it was you but had this distinct feeling in my heart. And I couldn't be gladder that it IS you.

AWWWW I say this without exaggeration, if we knew eachother, we wouldn't get work done. Like ever. I already try to make these asks as long as I possibly can to never end talking to you, if we had any way of texting, I swear we'd talk alllllllll the time. And I think that would heal me tbh aodnlsnxlsjdke

Yk I want to shake you and tell you to never ever everrrr be sorry for talking too much atleast to me. If I havnt made it absolutely clear already, I love talking to you and the more the merrier hahaha. No but seriously, i love talking to you. The best yhing about us was we didn't have to pretend like we didn't have negative thoughts. Like all our thoughts we're roses and daisies. We talked about the hard and the bad stuff and then shared our mutual love for the cosmos, it was amazing. It IS amazing

It's almost 1 and I have online school tomorrow. I'm trying soooo hard not to throw a 5 yo-esque tantrum rn (ik online school is not that bad but even then I hate it)

I feel like I didn't respond to everything I wanted to. But tbh I could go on for foreverrrrrr. Maybe I'll edit it in the morning and add more hhehehhehe.

Also. I can't belive you still remember the Dorian Gray thing. I'll go cry now thanks a lot ksksksnzsmsmzwlz

Miss you terribly. I love you and hope you have a great night ahead <3

#skskskzjkw i love talking to you #even if its asks likeee #🔭🌌 anon

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gothicbarbie · 1 year ago

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I said to myself, someone who can watch such cringy BL movies is definitely also obsessed with Taylor Swift and her cringy romance lyrics and sure enough... y'all never grow up fr. Adult children.

LOL! Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning I see! Not sure why you are so concerned about my life and what I am doing, maybe go find something you enjoy for yourself babe and stop harassing strangers on the internet? You seem clearly miserable with your life.

And to answer your "question", I don't see Taylor's lyrics as cringey at all, she is one of the best lyricists of our time imo. Are a few of her songs "cringey"? Sure... but she also has numerous bangers and beautiful songs too... but I am fully aware of my love for "cheesey" and catchy pop music, I have no shame in that.

I will give you one thing, BL's are definitely cringey AF! But so are a lot of K-dramas that I watch, soaps, and teen dramas. But they can also be very fun to watch. I like romance, nothing immature about that imo. Just because you get older doesnt mean you stop liking the things you like lol.

I also watch numerous other movies and films including horror films which I adore (also can be "cringey")... and I listen to hell of a lot of other music artists. I like Taylor because I like how strong she is as a woman and I appreciate how hard she works and how much she gives to her fans.

Maybe stop caring about what other people think of you and you will be able to enjoy things in your life a little bit more! Just a suggestion. Have a nice day!

#asks #other stuff #taylor swift #rant

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imthebadguyyy · 4 years ago

Text

That's Our Baby !

Y/N L/N is the sixth member of One Direction, the biggest band in the world. When one of her best friends announces he's leaving, how do they cope?

-------------------------------------------------------

Sat in the studio, Louis and Y/N fiddled around with the guitars and drums present in the little room. They had been given the task of songwriting for their 5th album, and had gone on their songwriting getaway to the Maldives, along with Liam. They had been accompanied by other songwriters as well as producers.Niall and Harry had decided to stay back and join the songwriting trip later. So while they remained in LA, relaxing, the other three decided to get a head start on the writing.

"Hey Lou, what about "how many nights did it take to count the stars, that's the time it would take to fix my heart?"

" I like that. Maybe after that for like a chorus bit we could have something like, " if I tried, I know it would feel like infinity?"

"Yeah ! Like we can work on that a little more, but if we work with this, we can make a song out of it"

" We'll have to tell Liam too, he was so upset when we wrote Never Enough without him"

Laughing, the two walked into the kitchen of their rented villa, were Liam was sat with Patrick, one of their producers and lyricists. The villa was a beautiful one, with a view of the sea and the beach, and was the perfect place to come to make music. Y/N had picked it out, claiming that only a beach and sea air would really help them right truly outstanding music because "it's what our fans deserve Li!"

And so far, they had written nearly 5 songs, all finished during the early hours of the morning, as they videocalled the other two to let them know of their progress. It had been about 2 weeks since Zayn had announced that he was leaving the band, and even though they supported him publicly, secretly, Y/N was hurt. But she did a marvelous job of hiding it. In fact, she had suggested the holiday so that she could take time to cope with it herself. Harry and Niall were supposed to arrive the next day, when they would start recording the album in their little studio.

Having spaced out of the conversation in the kitchen, she jumped when she heard her name being called, and Liam looking at her with a concerned look in his eyes. " you alright babe ?"

"Yeah I'm fine, just really hungry"

Patrick chimed in saying "there's a great kebab place here, that has the best cocktails you could ever have with the most succulent kebabs too. And you have to try their mango chutney"

"That sounds great! Let's go then" Louis said, feeling his tummy growl as well.

"Wait I need to comb my hair and change my clothes !" Y/N exclaimed, running up to her room. She brushed out her wavy/curly/straight hair and pulled on a pretty newspaper print top and denim shorts. She put her sunglasses, phone, wallet and mini sunscreen in her bag, and pulled on her brown strapped sandals.

Running down, she stopped to look in the mirror, and joined the other 3 at the door. Julian, their other producer, was waiting as well, and smiled upon seeing her make her way to the door. "Come on Y/N ! We're all really hungry"

"Yeah yeah I'm coming. All this doesn't happen magically you know" she said, waving a hand around her face.

Laughing the group of 5 made their way to the Kebab shop, and enjoyed their fabulous meal of kebabs, rotis, and cocktails.

Halfway through their meal, Y/N heard her phone blow up with notifications. Slightly surprised, she pulled it out of her purse.

Opening it, the first thing she saw was 789 notifications fron Twitter, 345 from Instagram, and her WhatsApp blowing up. Slightly shocked she opened Twitter, to be met with the headline, "ZAYN MALIK'S TELL ALL INTERVIEW - THE FORMER BAND MEMBER OF ONE DIRECTION SPILLS THE BEANS ABOUT HIS EXPERIENCE IN THE BAND"

The first paragraph talked about how he didn't like the music they were making.

The second about how he didn't feel included.

The third about how he was never happy.

The fourth about how he struggled with anxiety.

Suddenly overwhelmed, Y/N couldn't breathe. Her chest was contracting and her eyes were burning. It was becoming harder and harder to breathe. Her mind was running too fast and an overwhelming sense of panic and fear was running through her heart. Louis, turning to look at her noticed how she was starting to shake.

Startled, he wrapped an arm around her and gently pushed her hair out of her face.

" you alright love ?"

Liam turned to look at her too, concern visible in his brown eyes.

"N/N you're shaking! What happened?!" He asked instantly moving over to give her a hug. Tears began to roll down her cheeks as her vision blurred completely and she tightened her arms around Liams chest as Louis gently played with her hair.

"Zayn said he wasn't happy! He said that he didn't like the music we made together"

Exchanging a look, Louis sighed and gently pulled her closer to him. "He didn't mean that babe. I promise he's alright"

"NO lou, he isn't alright. If he was okay and happy, he wouldn't have left. He would still be here. I know I sound selfish, but I thought we were supposed to be together as BAND for a long time. And we were supposed to be friends forever. Now you don't even talk to him, and he doesn't want anything to do with us. If you think that alright, then fine. But I don't think it is" she said, voice breaking as she turned to look at Louis with watery eyes. Patrick and Julian quietly sat there, unsure of how to deal with the situation. They understood why the girl was upset. She had been incredibly close to Zayn, and he had considered her a younger sister. When he had left, Y/N had curled up into her little shell even more, and had lost some of her happy go lucky, bubbly personality. They all felt it.

"Alright, I think we should go home now. It's nearly midnight anyway. Let's get some sleep and we can talk this over with Harry and Niall tomorrow. But you need your sleep darling. Come on let's go" Liam said, helping her get to her feet and wrapping an arm around her waist while Louis paid the bill. They made their way home and Y/N crashed onto her bed, tired out from the crying.

-------------------------------------------------------

"You're telling me that she had an anxiety attack and cried because of that interview ?" Niall asked, shock written over all his features. His blue eyes had crinkled with worry when he had heard about Y/N's breakdown from Louis and Liam, and his heart had gone out for the baby of the group.

Harry had remained silent, unsure of how to respond. He absolutely adored Y/N, and the thought of her crying made him sick to his stomach.

"Yes Niall. She cried and sobbed and said that we were supposed to stick together and all that. It was quite painful to watch really" Louis responded, still slightly shaken by Y/N's breakdown. Liam nodded eyes flickering up to the staircase as he heard her door open.

Awoken from her sleep, Y/N made her way down, rubbing her eyes, perking up instantly when she heard Harry and Niall's voices in the kitchen. Walking down she saw the boys, Liam standing near the sink with a cup of coffee in hand, Niall sitting at the table with a plate in front of him, Harry standing near the fridge with a slight frown on his face, long hair in a bun and Louis standing in front of the stove , frying some eggs. When she walked into the kitchen, she was instantly engulfed in hug by Harry, his long lanky figure wrapping around her shorter one. "You okay darling?" He asked, green eyes crinkled with worry.

"Yeah I'm alright I guess" she responded leaning into the hug. Pulling away, she went to hug Niall, engulfed once again a different hug, a small whine coming from Harry as she turned. Giggling she turned to him and said, " do you wanna cuddle ?"

"Yes !" The long haired man exclaimed, running up the stairs to go to her bedroom. Wrapping her hands around Niall and Liam's, she motioned to Louis to come and join them as well.

"Group cuddles!" She cheered as she led them up the stairs. Harry had already laid down on her bed, arms held out to the woman. She giggled and climbed onto the bed too, letting him wrap his arms around her waist. Niall was the next to join, moving closer to her tummy, as he rested his head on her belly and wrapped his arms around her legs. Louis moved to her other shoulder, resting his head on top of hers as he played with her long locks. Liam shuffled to the spot near Harry's legs, resting his head on her right thigh, and wrapping his arms around her legs as well.

All smushed together on the bed, they laughed and giggled for a while, as Y/N played with Niall and Liam's hair, and Harry traced figures on her collarbone and arms. Louis played with her hair, lulling her into a soft sleep. And as they all dozed off, Niall lifted his head to whisper one final sentence before they fell asleep. " that's Our Baby"

_______________________________

END.

This fic was longer than I expected.

Hope you liked it!

#harry styles x reader #niall horan x reader #liam payne x reader #louis tomlinson x reader #one direction #harry styles #niall horan #liam payne #louis tomlinson #zayn malik #Y/N #one direction fanfiction #one d imagines #one direction imagines #imthebadguyyyfics

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nahimjustfeelingit-writes · 3 years ago

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Ok so since you’re a Meagan fan maybe you can help me and to anyone else who loves her y’all can chime in below. Me and my sister were talking yesterday about music. Now this started bc we were in the car and mulatto song came on and I immediately switched it to Bluetooth. She asked why I turned it off, I said I don’t care for her music so then we started talking about music in general and Meagan came up now warning my sister is a Meagan Stan she goes hard for her like kodak does for trump🥴. She kept trying to push that Meg was a lyricist and one of the best rappers out right now she has all this range etc… I told her I don’t feel that way bc I have tried to give Megan music a shot but every song I’ve tried to play is about the same 3 things sex,alcohol or hating ass bitches. Now maybe I didn’t catch the right song but after 10 diff songs I got tired. However I don’t want to keep discrediting her if she is as talented and creative as some ppl say she is. It’s just not my cup of tea rn. I need music that feeds my psyche not fuels my libido. Also though from what I’ve heard she might have an alcohol problem and while idk if that’s true, ppl love making up rumors. I don’t want to support that type of music if it’s contributing to toxic habits. If you all know of any different songs from her I would love to try them out it just seems the ones I’ve listened to were pretty much the same.

So most of Meg’s music is about sex, drinking, how cocky she is, how she pimps niggas, how she loves her body, her being educated, having money, anime, her haters, etc. if you are looking for songs about her parents, her childhood, being in an abusive relationship, what’s going on like police brutality, or anything she’s been through like that I can’t think of anything. Megan doesn’t make songs like other female rappers who rap about real life struggles. Just because she doesn’t rap about those things like Lauren hill would or other female rappers like her doesn’t mean she isn’t lyrical. She actually can rap really really well, and she is one of the best honestly right now. She even said that she gets inspiration from 36 Mafia, Pimp C, Project Pat, etc. which makes since lol

I love that she raps about anime and she has great word play and she makes it very fun. Meg gets me hype she’s that home girl that you love to turn up with on the weekend lol. Every time I listen to her music it lifts my spirits. And I love how in your face she is too. Have you listened to her freestyles too? Circles is good and I love how her unreleased songs on Something For The Hotties is very southern and true to her as well. Her features are also great I loved her feature with BTS, Maroon 5, DJ Khaled, Ariana. Tina Snow Interlude is good. But all in all if she’s not for you that’s okay. Most artist rap about the same things. Just like R&B artists sing about sex and heartbreak. Just know she isn’t poetic like No Name, Lauren Hill, or anybody like that lol. But she could be if she wanted to. Also, her mother is another inspiration because she listened to a lot of her moms music which was similar lol so yeah.

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gruviafan-forever · 4 years ago

Text

GRUVIA WEEK- DAY III

"DISCOVERY"

When Gray had reported the drone issues to Erza and Mr Dreyar, the agency was in fix about who could be going to this extent to know about one of their actor's personal lives.

"Looks like there are still some reporters who believe that photos stuff,"

Makarov said while rubbing his forehead.

"But Master didn't we announce it's just a hoax that should have calmed everyone down" Erza reasoned.

"That's not the case, Erza. It's more like these people are working to uncover Gray's secret and create some scandalous sensations"

Makarov said and tried calling his grandson, Laxus Dreyar who works in the police department.

After informing Laxus, Makarov seemed to have calmed down. That's when Erza informed Gray's decision to unravel his marriage.

"It's high time. However, it's a good decision" Makarov said with a smile.

He knew how hard Gray has worked for these four years to shape his career.

"Let's hope it goes accordingly. Tell Mr Jason to come and meet me. He needs to prepare an article about this and publish it the very next day of the award function on Sorceress Weekly. Also, I need to talk with Gray tomorrow, do inform him, Erza" Makarov informed.

"Yes Master," Erza said with a smile.

NEXT MORNING

Gray got ready for the upcoming event and told her he could come late at night so that they don't wait for him for dinner.

"Yes, Gray-sama. Today I was planning to take Yuki to the park so that she could play with kids of her age. But after what happened yesterday, I decided not to," Juvia said and was adjusting Gray's coat.

Gray began to ponder before he spoke again, "I know it's not right to keep her inside the house and deny her playing freedom. But the situation calls for it, we have to bear for a few more days, Juvia."

He said confidently and kissed her forehead.

It was still 9 AM and Yuki was still fast asleep. So the couple had time for themselves to enjoy their company.

"Sure Gray-sama. You take care. Don't go getting rigid suddenly. Be smiling and welcome your fans warmly. It's because of them you have gained this popularity, remember that Gray-sama."

Juvia lectured her husband like every time any event comes up.

"Yes, madam"

Gray rolled his eyes and smiled at the end. At times, she treated him like a child which he secretly liked.

"Good boy, now get going. I have a lot of chores to do today. If possible, can we go to the supermarket? They're few things which we need to purchase." Juvia consulted him.

Gray agreed and told them to be wary of their surroundings.

"Don't let Yuki wander off on her own. She's such a ball of energy. I know she is a bit difficult to control but look after her. I will take my leave, bye, wifey."

Gray leaned forward to kiss her lips and got one in return.

After bidding bye to her husband, Juvia got freshened up to kick start her day before her daughter woke up.

Soon Gray reached the mentioned location, he was escorted by his manager through the back exit.

"Good morning, Erza"

"Happy morning, Gray. How's Juvia and Yuki doing?"

"Oh, they are doing great. Did Mr Dreyar say anything about the issue?" Gray questioned her.

"Yeah… he wants to meet you after this event. So get ready for that."

Erza informed them and soon they reached the main cabin where every celebrity under the Fairy Tail banner was present.

They greeted each other before Gray went to his friend, Natsu Dragneel and his girlfriend, Lucy Heartfilia.

They bumped their fist and the first thing Natsu asked about was Yuki and Juvia.

Almost every single member of Fairy Tail knew about him so it was not a piece of surprise news for them.

"They are good. Juvia's been calling you two for dinner. Why don't you come by one day? And you too, Erza. Come with your boyfriend."

Gray teased the red-haired woman who had the courtesy to blush on hearing about her love interest.

"Sure, we will come by, once we get to enjoy some free time,"

Natsu said and Lucy nodded in agreement.

That's when Gajeel decided to enter their group. It had been three years since he joined Fairy Tail after his Phantom Band got disbanded.

It was Juvia who proposed Gajeel join this big agency. Gray had spoken about this to Mr Dreyar on his girlfriend's insistence.

Mr Dreyar readily agreed after seeing his performance, ever since, then, Gajeel had been performing for this agency.

His popularity soared after his debut. Gajeel was very much grateful to both Gray and Juvia.

Gajeel had insisted Juvia continue being his lyricist but she denied it as the agency had appointed their best Lyricist, Levy McGarden to aid her best friend.

Juvia knew Gajeel was smitten by her and didn't have the heart to the third wheel behind them.

Moreover, things happened which made her quit the part-time job which she was doing.

"Yo guys, it's been a long since I saw you all in existence. How's everything going on?"

Gajeel greeted and began with the conversation.

Gray greeted him back and soon everyone started to discuss the event and its aftermath.

It had been a month since Gray and Juvia had levelled up their relationship.

Gray's first tv drama shooting has been wrapped up. In a few more episodes, the drama reaches its conclusion.

For now, Gray enjoyed his free time before the shooting for the next drama commences.

The last two days were hectic for both of them as the agency had ordered Gray to move out of that lodging apartment to other high society flats which they had arranged for him.

This move was taken to avoid fans and reporters gathering around his place and prevented them from invading his privacy.

Juvia was sad hearing this news as now she will be left alone in his apartment.

Even her best friend had moved out to give privacy to her and Gray, same was the case with Gray, Natsu had moved out a couple of months as soon as he signed up for his first tv series.

Juvia tried to remain bold and not to tear up but nothing could get past Gray's eyes.

"Juvia"

Gray pouted, she was not paying attention to him and was just staring blankly at his shirt.

To remove her from trance, Gray hugged her from behind which startled her.

"Gray-sama"

"Oi!! What's with the long face? I have never seen you thinking like this. Are you perhaps trying to ditch me?" Gray teased her and kissed her neck.

Juvia turned around and hit his chest, "Don't joke like that. You know how much I love you. Stupid Gray"

Juvia sounded serious especially when he heard her calling him 'Gray'.

She never called him by name without a suffix. That's when he noticed she was crying.

Gray began to fidget and cupped her face, "Hey dear, what happened? Why are you crying?" He asked her worriedly.

Juvia began to wipe her tears off but it never stopped until she told him the reason.

"I feel we will stay apart, Gray-sama, emotionally too. I'm scared that I will be left all alone once again in my life. Of course, I'm being clingy on you but I couldn't help it."

She conveyed her feelings and hugged her lover tightly.

Gray felt happy that she opened up her fear. Even he didn't want to move away from her and from the morning was thinking of asking her to move in with me as his fiancee.

Yes, Gray wanted to marry her and have a lovely life with her. He knew from these 7 months of dating, that she was born for him and he for her.

He was going to propose to her tonight but it looks like the plan needs to be executed at the moment to make her feel assured of their relationship.

"Juvia, I.."

Before Gray could say anything, Juvia fell unconscious in his arms. He tried to wake her up but it was futile.

He carried her to the bedroom and went out to call a doctor from a nearby clinic.

Once the doctor had come and checked her up, Gray felt relief that she was alright and nothing to worry about except...

"WHAT??" Gray shrieked.

"Yes, Mr Fullbuster. Your girlfriend is pregnant. Congratulations, once Juvia wakes up, give her the medicine and go and visit the gynaecologist, they will guide you from there."

The doctor left him after advising him how to take care of a pregnant woman.

Gray couldn't believe what was happening at the moment. He had mixtures of thoughts and emotions.

But predominantly, it was happiness. He is going to be a father, that too really soon. He was going to lead a happy life with his beloved.

Soon, he was going to have a family which he and Juvia were denied from starting, this brought him happy tears and thanked the Gods for such a second chance.

Now all he hoped for was Juvia to feel the same as him.

After 30 minutes, Juvia woke up from her sleep, the first thing she saw was Gray resting beside her.

Juvia smiled at him and ruffled his hairs and that's when she noticed the ring on her finger.

She couldn't believe her eyes and closed her mouth with her palms to avoid shouting.

Slowly, Gray woke up and saw his girlfriend's surprised expression which brought a smile to his face.

"Well, calm down, Juvia"

Hearing his voice, Juvia pulled him into a hug and shouted 'yes'.

Gray chuckled, " I didn't even ask you yet"

Juvia began rubbing her face against his and kissed his forehead,

"I will marry you, Gray-sama."

Gray kissed her lips, "I was actually planning to do it tonight after dinner but here, I'm asking you 'Will you marry me?' "

"1000 times Yes… I'm waiting to live my life with you, Gray-sama…"

"So do I, dear"

Gray kissed her again.

Once their adrenaline has calmed down, Gray slowly broke the news.

"You know what, I found out something. Can you take a guess?"

Gray asked her while squeezing her palms.

Juvia wondered what it could be and accepted her defeat. Now she was curious what this could be.

"We are going to be parents. You are pregnant, Juvia. You are gonna be mama and I'm gonna be papa."

He said with a big smile and kissed her palm.

Then, he told her everything from the moment she fainted to till doctors departure.

Juvia was shedding happy tears and caressing her flat tummy for now. She was going to be a mother, she was going to have her own family now which she longed for since her childhood.

"Are you happy, Gray-sama?"

She wanted to know his feelings.

"My happiness goes beyond this world. I'm happy that we are gonna start be a family together. Juvia, let's get married tomorrow."

Gray shared his piece of mind.

"Thank you for sharing the same feeling as mine, Gray-sama. I love you a lot." Juvia said earnestly.

The very next day, they got their marriage registered in an office. Gray casually informed the recent events of his life to friends and Mr Dreyar.

They were shell shocked yet wished them both happiness enough for their life ahead.

That's when Mr Dreyar had told him to hide this news from the public as Gray was still a budding artist and this could hamper this growth.

Juvia agreed and supported this decision and even convinced Gray to agree with this. It's after sorting out these issues they finally went to their new home.

#gruvia #gruviaweek #gruvia week 2021 #gruvia week

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newsagogos · 4 years ago

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*chanting* stereo-types stereo-types stereo-types! how did they meet?? any cool tidbits on the other 2 members? did they ever collab with anyone :O

The stereo-types!! In the Zone’s top 10 bands, that of course since there’s only consistently 10 bands that stay together for longer than a month or so at a time, for creative differences and/or occupational hazards reasons.

They meet as any respectable band members meet; bargaining and subsequently getting kicked out from tcm’s. Of course, the power of complaining together pierces through the veil of death and saves the day. Usually. But in this case it forms you a fun little band. Well not right away, first one member must own a jeep -Witch knows how it’s running- with his sibling and must offer you both a ride to wherever you were going.

On the drive to the location route guano decided to take them to, it was particularly fond of the zone 5 sailing stones and none of them were really going anywhere particular to begin with, so no complaints on that part, they could not have ignored the elephant in the room: Pome’s bass that ey was clutching as if it was gonna sprout legs and run away and P.V.C’s guitar leaning against half a drum kit and some amps - said their sibling fixes them up for other bands to use.

One hefty argument later over if Richard Ai Yai Yai’s music could kill a drac -jury’s still out on this one, they all gather that the other parties enjoy making noise as much as they do. So they decided what the hell since they’re all crewless currently, why not try, it could be fun. So they made their way to another tcm front to bargain for half a drum kit to complete the set, having sent P.V.C’s sibling since she’s the only one who has not been banned from tcm today, day’s still young though.

And that’s basically how it happened, if one of them tells you some elaborate story involving a scarecrow, a rubber chicken and one duct tape roll, the girl’s just messing with you. She likes to see how many ridiculous things she can say before people call her out on it, she hasn’t figured out that limit yet, her reputation sure is something.

PomeGrenade! Sometimes Pome, sometimes PG rarely Grenade depending on who ey’s talking to anyway.

Much like the girl, is a wanderer, cannot and will not stay in one place for too long. Ey’s restlessness leads to recklessness most of the time and it lost em more than one crew, both literally and in a ‘don’t show your face around here again’ way. Ey’s the lead singer, not because eir voice is great but mostly cause ey loves the screaming and is the most willing to do the singing part. Can play both the bass and guitar. Loves to use the instruments in the most untraditional ways, if it can make noises and good vibrations then it’s good enough for em

P.V.C! tell you a secret, it stands for absolutely nothing, but they like to say something different each time, pirates vs cowboys? Piranha van crater? Whatever 3 words come to him on the spot. Speaking of words, he’s the lyricist of the group. I mean they all contribute and zone songs don’t really need words much but he’s good in that department. Also the one with the best voice but they’re not a big fan of singing. Is the designated driver, is an extremely shit driver, will not let anyone drive.

As mentioned above, they have a sibling. At the time they met the other two they’d only met 3 months ago, but hey who’s counting? Their sibling ends up being the techie/manager but is as much part of the band as anyone else. The girl and PG did not know her name until 2 months in, they were too embarrassed to ask about it after so long. Highly entertaining to watch what kind of elaborate nicknames they can come up with.

They collaborated with a short lived band once, the Pencil Chollas. The band broke up soon over some relationship drama. Something about hedgehog and foxtail getting together behind cottontop’s back and then hedge’s involvement with pinyon pine who was also with cottontop and juniper it was a whole mess i doubt anyone really knows what happened.

#well this became wordy no typos but i'm not rereading #tysm for the question<3 #top 10 joy moments is forgetting her own oc's pronouns and going to the post to figure them out #you know what #danger days #the stereo-types #asks #anon #:)<3

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intoxicatingimmediacy · 3 years ago

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How Tracee Ellis Ross and Daveed Diggs Bonded as Members of “the Curly-Hair Family”

Daveed Diggs was certain the Emmys had already happened—so certain, in fact, that he and his partner had booked a vacation for the day of the ceremony in September...

Vanity Fair: Can you guys tell me about when you first met? Was it on the set of Black-ish or before that?

Tracee Ellis Ross: Did we meet backstage at Hamilton?

Daveed Diggs: We must have, but I don’t remember most of that stuff. If I’m being honest, it was such a crazy time. So yeah, I’m sure we did then.

Ross: But I feel like we just did the obligatory—I was like, “thank you for being brilliant.” And you were like, “thank you for coming.”

Diggs: I’m sure I told you I was a huge fan of yours, because that’s true. I must have babbled something to you about The Lyricist Lounge. I don’t know if that was then or on the Black-ish set, but I’ve been a fan of yours for a very long time. And so I remember at some point feeling the need to just be like, just so you know, I know that you got bars, I watched you rap with Mos Def when he was up on a ledge and shit. Like I remember all that.

Ross: No, we actually had this conversation on Black-ish because I then told you the backstory on that, and the fact that it was so intense getting me to do those very, very limited amount of bars. And what Daveed does, he makes it look easy, but it is not. What these rappers and these lyricists and these artists do is not something that came naturally to my rhythmic talent. Yeah. So I remember, and by the way, I did not know who you were before going to the Broadway play, before going to see you on stage, but you are so dynamic, combined with the fact that we share the curly-hair family.

Diggs: Well, it’s funny when Kenya [Barris] was like, “so I have this idea. I’ve been thinking about you as Bow’s brother.” And I was just like, “look, you can stop right there. Yes, I want to do that.” I’ve been Team Rainbow on this show for so long. I feel like she’s always getting, people don’t really understand her like I understand her. But look, let me tell you what it’s like being a mixed kid from the Bay.

Ross: Yeah. It was such a natural fit. And then they made it so much better with the way they wrote you. Johan is special.

Diggs: He’s special. He’s very special. And it fit like a glove. Very little acting happening for me.

I wanted to ask about Johan, because he blows in from France, basically, which knowing that this was filming in the fall of 2016 or summer 2016 feels very Thomas Jefferson coming down the staircase. Was that how that character got that way?

Diggs: I would imagine. I don’t know. Nobody ever told me. I very much remember my first table read there and I was all nervous. There were so many people there, this is a trip for a table read. Many years later he told me, that was because you were there. That many people didn’t usually come. But everyone was so obsessed with Hamilton, that they just wanted to see you. And he was like, I got nervous because I actually had no reason to assume that you could do this. I had just seen you in a musical and then put you in my TV show.

Ross: Oh, my God. Kenya is such a monster for saying that to you. That’s not true, because that’s not what he told me. He was convinced, I remember when he called me after he saw it and he was like, I have the best idea. And again, I’m telling you, when I saw you on stage—throughout my life, every once in a while you see people and you’re like, yeah, same tribe. You know what I mean? And usually the hair is the entrance into the indication. I’m like, we’re going to have definitely some things in common. And I want to know what product he uses, you know what I mean? But our table reads, which we have completely lost in this pandemic, were these very special, extraordinary things. Yes, there were more people there for you, but you got to feel the chemistry of all of us. And so, yeah, I do remember that day though, because that was really serious.

Daveed’s run on it came in this crazy period of work post-Hamilton, and also during the 2016 election. What do you remember from all of that?

Ross: Whiplash. Devastation. A lot of fear. So funny, we were on the precipice of so much more. I don’t know, there was a lot of wake up happening. It’s an interesting time to be on a show like Black-ish where we’re so topical and we dive in on that stuff. It made me appreciate the ability to use a platform to keep bringing light into the world, and joy, and also still talking about things and unpacking them without having to decide somebody is wrong or right. But just being able to explore them in joyful environments.

Diggs: Yeah. That show is so great at that. And it’s funny, professionally for me at that time, I was doing a bunch of things and learning so much, it almost feels separate from my emotional, personal, political journey. I was just on airplanes and in places—

Ross: You were moving a lot.

Diggs: Right? Because I was also doing Kimmy Schmidt and I was just all over the place. And so all of that was going on and then also the world was falling apart, but it was nice to work. For me, work was a good distraction from that, I guess. The times when I was on Black-ish were like, oh, we get to be in the world and also still be working and having fun, because the show was so good at that. Whereas a lot of other things that I was working on were just jobs separate from the world.

Ross: Yeah, you were moving at that point. I remember that time period, but it was a treat not only to have Daveed onset, but also for my character to have an identification with something beyond Dre’s family. Because in the Black-ish world, Bow’s point of view is an outlier point of view. And so as Daveed said, right at the beginning, when we first came on, to have somebody that actually knows that experience, not just because it’s written, but lives it in a different way. It was a really nice experience, for me, and I think for my character, if I can speak for the both of us.

What’s the contrast between going from something like Hamilton to a TV show?

Diggs: I mean, for me it was just all about learning. I didn’t know anything really. I left Hamilton and the next weekend was shooting Wonder, and then I went from there to L.A. and shot Tour De Pharmacy. And literally, I shot that for three days, and the fourth day I was on Black-ish. Broadway or doing plays, it’s repetition. It’s the art of, the goal is to make it feel new every time, right? That’s the trick. Doing TV, it’s definitely brand new every time. You don’t have to work for that. You get that part for free. The trick is playing the whole history of your relationships with all of these people as if they actually happened. But one of the great joys about being on Black-ish is just sitting around talking to everybody, soaking up game from Tracee or Anthony when he wasn’t talking shit about me, and Laurence—talking to Fish is my favorite stuff. I would just wait to find him sitting in a corner and just try to get him started.

Ross: Once you do though, you get some gems and pearls out of that man.

You guys have both moved on into more work creating and producing shows yourselves. Why is that the way forward for both of you?

Diggs: For me, it’s a continuation. I was always doing that, because no one wanted to make anything with me in it. And so we had to make it ourselves. But also, certain stories come your way that are, if you don’t tell them nobody’s going to. That’s actually the great part I’m finding about producing. It’s just that I get to help things exist because I want to watch them. I’m pretty self serving in a lot of ways.

Ross: I think I’ve always been producing. I think that I’ve always been that kind of actor. I always think of the whole thing. This is the beauty of what all of these different streaming platforms have offered, is that there is a democracy around, and a desire to keep filling our space with stories that represent the world we live in. And some of us, like Daveed and myself and Anthony, there are specific stories that we’re interested in telling. And you realize there’s a specific point of view that I want to share that is a gap in the world.

Does it feel like the industry is still moving in the right direction in terms of who gets to tell stories, like we are still opening up doors the way that we need to be?

Ross: I think for me, the biggest realization as I expand where my hands are in my career is the recognition that all aspects of this industry need fuller representation, all aspects. And that the pipeline is a little bit broken in terms of the standard that’s used to hire people in the executive positions, all these different places, that there needs to be real attention put there because without the conscious attention, it is not going to change. And that shift in equity around the table really needs absolute work. And so that’s also one of the beauties of being in this position is that I’m now in a space where I am behind the scenes, and I can say, I’m sorry, how much is she getting paid? And how much is he getting paid? And what’s the difference? Well, that’s just the way it’s been. Huh? I think that changes the dynamics, not only of the storytelling, but you look at the difference in the gaze that we’re looking through, through a camera lens, even changes how something looks and when you’re telling a story.

Diggs: That is so real, Tracee.

Ross: So real.

Diggs: And the thing about the Hollywood machine is it’s a big, slow moving machine and your intentions actually don’t matter very much. It was so interesting working with people who have the best intentions in the world and you still look around and most of your crew is white and you’re like, how did this happen? Because that’s where the machine knows how to look. It’s work. It’s actual work.

Ross: It’s actual work. And people, particularly in Hollywood, it’s a big well-oiled machine that’s been working in a certain way. So everybody figures it works. And there’s a lot of spaces in the machine that no one’s opened that door in a really long time, and you’re like, okay, so we need to go downstairs and open that door guys. There’s a weird part of the machine that’s just spilling out the same thing, and we need to go look in that room.

So these Emmys must be the last awards Hamilton can be eligible for, and Black-ish is filming its final season. How do you guys feel saying goodbye to these characters you’ve been living with or associated with for so long?

Diggs: I mean, I haven’t been living with Jefferson and Lafayette, I left them onstage. But other people have lived with them for quite a while, so it’s a bit of a different experience.

Ross: And will continue to, that’s so interesting. I imagine usually when you do a play, not everybody knows you as that.

Diggs: Almost nobody knows you as that, when you do a play. That’s kind of why you do plays.

Ross: Hamilton transcended that little scenario.

Diggs: It did a thing, and a great, wonderful thing that I’m incredibly proud to be a part of. But it is wild to keep revisiting those parts, I feel weird talking about it because I didn’t watch it yesterday and I don’t think about it ever until somebody brings it up. Like I was saying the other day, it’s like you had a kid that grew up or something and now I’m very proud of that kid, like, oh, that’s really cool that they’re off winning awards.

Hamilton would be in first grade by now.

Diggs: It’s won the spelling bee and citizenship award and all that stuff. Very proud of that kid.

Ross: I do have to say though, Daveed, that Hamilton transcended something, but also your portrayal and what you did on stage. There was a reverberation and something that you did with that role, and with that character, that I do think changed the way we see a black actor on stage, in a different way. I think the platform of Hamilton, specifically the role, and then what you did with it, the way you breathe life into it and gave it something, it’s understandable that it is continuing to live on. As an actor, it’s a funny thing, but from the outside looking in and somebody who saw you on stage and saw the TV, you know what I mean? So I do understand the ongoing relationship with that role and what you did with it.

Diggs: That’s the sweetest thing anybody’s ever said to me, and I think that’s what I mean about feeling proud of the thing. Because my only experience with it these days is as a fan of it. It’s just a weird thing as an actor, like you said, but I imagine it must be a much different kind of goodbye to Rainbow. I mean, you’ve lived with her for—

Ross: Eight years, almost nine years when we finish. What’s interesting is, this is my second time letting go of a long-time character. Letting go of Joan [her character on Girlfriends] was really challenging. I was so new to all of it that it just, it honestly felt a little scary, I just didn’t know how to navigate. It felt to me like what I imagined a basketball player retiring, or leaving the team they were on for a long time, because the pace that you keep for a 23 episode series is intense. You are in the water for more time out of the year than you’re out of the water. But the beauty of this is I get to walk into this final season, knowing it’s the final season. And the truth is for eight years, I have been challenged, intrigued, tickled, and annoyed by this woman that I’m playing. All of the above. And for me it just gets deeper and better every year. I get safer every year and I get to experience a new aspect of my skill, my talent, my thing, the thing I do. On Black-ish, 24 episodes a season, it’s like, how can I really allow this woman to be as full, as free, and as herself as she can be. And that is really fun to use my body and my being as that vehicle, it’s really fun. Particularly working with Anthony, the two of us, the way we fly together, it’s magical. It really is. Even if I don’t talk to him, like I’ve never been to his house, we don’t know each other that way. But what we know in our work relationship is magic.

Diggs: As an observer and a very close up observer too, it is really magic. And I say this about you all the time, too, the way that you fight for Bow is so inspirational. Getting to watch it, it taught me so much.

Ross: Yeah, you got to see some of that for real.

Diggs: Yeah. Watch you on set, really championing for your character, for her integrity, and her humanity, and for her fullness being like, this is a real person, don’t underserve her. I’ve taken that with me to all of my other jobs. I really learned it from you.

Is there anything else you guys want to say to each other?

Ross: I miss you.

Diggs: I miss you too.

#daveed diggs #tracee ellis ross

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rpf-bat · 4 years ago

Text

I Choose Defeat

Pairing: Gerard Way x Reader

Genre: Angst, Drama

Summary: Written for Gothtober 2020, Day 5. Prompt: “Killing Romance.”

When Gerard makes the decision to ‘kill’ My Chemical Romance, your hidden feelings for him, turn to despair. You’re crushed by the reality that he’s no longer your bandmate, but you try your best to move on. Four years later, you have a quiet life in New Jersey - and a child that isn’t is. But, when you get a call in the middle of the night, asking you to get the band back together, you find yourself jumping at the chance.

You and the other members of My Chemical Romance, sat around a coffee table, at Reprise Records headquarters. You sipped from your mug anxiously, unsure why Gerard had called this meeting.

Is this about the new studio space?, you wondered. He did say he wanted to build a new recording spot, on his property, so that we’ll have an easier time, putting together the rest of the new album.

But, something in his melancholy expression, told you that he wasn’t here, to show off blueprints. His hazel eyes seemed to stare right through you.

You glanced at Frank on your right, and Ray and Mikey on your left. They seemed nervous, too, as they waited for Gerard to speak. The silence in the room was deafening.

“So,” Gerard said finally, “I’ve decided I quit.”

“What?” you blinked.

“I no longer want to be the vocalist of My Chemical Romance,” Gerard spelled out. “I’m out.”

Four jaws dropped in unison. The mug nearly fell right out of your hand.

“That means that My Chemical Romance is….over with,” Mikey realized. “I mean, there’s no way in hell that we could continue the band without you.”

This much was obvious - Gerard was the group’s leader. It’s visionary. A drummer, such as yourself? Potentially replaceable. But the vocalist, lyricist, and frontman? No way. If he was done, his departure would be a bullet between My Chemical Romance’s eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Gerard sighed. “I’ve been trying, to act like everything’s fine, and keep working on new songs with you guys. But….my heart’s just not in it anymore.”

“What about the new album?!” Frank interjected. “The demos we’ve been working on so far….I thought those songs really had potential!”

“The guitar parts you wrote were good, Frankie,” Gerard admitted. “If you want to take those melodies, and recycle them into a new project, at some point? You definitely have my blessing to do that.”

“Frank might be fine forming some new band, with new people,” you said, tears forming in your eyes, “but, what about me? What am I supposed to do?”

You had dropped out of school, years ago, when Gerard asked you to drum for his band. And the truth was, that you had nothing to fall back on. You’d spent the last decade of your life, focused on nothing, but being in My Chem. Now, that career was just….gone.

“I was talking to Andy Hurley the other day,” Gerard said calmly. “He said, that when Fall Out Boy broke up, he became a touring drummer, for some other bands. Like, I think he went on the road with Earth Crisis for a while.”

“Oh, so you just have all the answers, is that it?” you snapped. You didn’t think, he’d really given that much thought, to how this would affect you, at all.

“Y/N, come on,” Ray intervened, putting a hand on your shoulder. “You have to admit….the last tour, was really hard on all of us.”

“He’s right,” Mikey sighed. “We were constantly jet lagged. I was eating No-Doz like candy, just to stay awake, during some of our shows.”

“I...I never said being in this band was easy,” you stammered, “but that doesn’t mean you just give up!”

“I can’t force it, if the passion’s just not there anymore!” Gerard insisted. “Do you remember the last show we played?”

“Yeah, what about it?” you demanded.

“I wasn’t even looking at the fucking crowd,” Gerard confessed. “Or at my mic. My head was somewhere completely else. I was looking at the sea, in the distance. I didn’t want to be on that stage. And I know that our performance suffered, because of that. It wasn’t my best work. If I can’t give the fans the show they deserve, I’d rather not do any more shows, at all.”

“You didn’t feel happy at all, when you were playing with us?” you realized.

“No,” Gerard said bluntly. “I felt nothing.”

Your chest hurt, and your eyes welled up with tears. Nothing?

Being onstage with Gerard, watching him sing, from behind your drum kit, was euphoria to you. A high that no drug could match. Listening to the crowd sing along with him, as you played your heart out....those were always the best nights of your life. But, clearly, he didn’t feel the same way, that you did.

You always thought you’d have more time with him. Whether it was in the studio, or on tour….you’d taken for granted, that you would have another opportunity, to tell him how you really felt.

You’d had feelings for him, for a long time. To put it frankly, you were in love with him.

I told myself, that as soon as we finished the record, I would confess my feelings to him, you recalled, your hands shaking. I didn’t want it to affect the work we were doing in the studio, so I was going to wait. But now the fifth MCR album, is never going to exist!

Even if your fantasies of dating him never materialized, you thought you would always have him, as a bandmate. Even if we never became boyfriend and girlfriend….we would still travel the world together, as singer and drummer. That was something I thought I could always rely on!

Now, everything you thought you’d have, was up in smoke. It was like the rug had been pulled out from under you.

“Gerard, how could you?!” you cried, unable to stop the tears, from falling from your eyes. “Don’t you get it? I don’t want to be in any band, if it’s not with you!”

“Y/N, I’m sorry…,” Gerard began, seeming taken aback, by how deeply, his words had wounded you.

“Save it!” you barked. “I don’t want to hear it!”

You grabbed your keys, and stormed out of the room.

“Y/N! Wait!” Gerard cried.

His voice didn’t stop you. If nothing was what he felt, sharing the stage with you….then, nothing was exactly what you would be to each other, from this day on.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

FOUR YEARS LATER

You’d moved back to New Jersey, after the band broke up. Los Angeles held nothing for you anymore, but memories. All you wanted was to forget.

You’d tried to fill the void in your heart, by blowing money on vinyls. You thought maybe, if you turned the volume all the way up, and made the whole house shake with sound, you wouldn’t be able to hear Gerard’s voice, in the back of your head. I felt nothing.

Your time together had been special to you….but, clearly, you thought, it hadn’t been special to him. So, when the guy at the record store, had asked for your number, you’d given it to him.

You thought you could get over Gerard, by jumping into bed with someone else. Patrick certainly wasn’t unattractive. And, he was never unkind to you. When he told you that he loved you, you said it back.

But…..you didn’t mean it. Deep down in your heart, you knew you were still in love with Gerard. And the worst part was, Patrick knew it, too. So, the relationship failed. Of course it did.

But, it had left you with one good thing: a child. You loved your daughter, even though you didn’t love her father. Motherhood had given you a reason to get out of bed every day. Even if you felt like your life was in shambles, you still had a responsibility, to be there for her.

She looked up at you, with innocent blue eyes, as you tucked her into bed.

“Mommy need hug?” she asked, holding her teddy bear tightly.

“No, sweetheart,” you sighed, ashamed that your mental state was so obvious, even to a toddler. “Mommy’s okay.”

You thought to yourself, as you kissed her goodnight, that she might be the only person in this world, to ever truly love you unconditionally.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

You were sitting at the kitchen table, alone with your thoughts, and a glass of Pinot, when the phone rang. You wondered who it could be, at this hour.

“Hey, Y/N,” said a familiar voice, when you picked up.

“Frank?” you blinked. “What’s up?”

“How are you doing?” your former bandmate asked gently.

“Pretty good,” you lied. “It’s been a while.”

“It has,” Frank admitted. “I just got done with a tour, not too long ago.”

Right, you remembered. He’s got his own little solo project now.

“What are you calling yourselves these days?” you asked. “The Cellabration?”

“No, it’s The Patience now,” Frank corrected. “Man, I really wish I could have convinced you to join us. You know you were my first pick, for a drummer.”

“You found a better one,” you shrugged. “I bought a copy of your CD. It sounds like Matt Olsson is doing a hell of a job.”

“I’ll tell him you said that,” Frank chuckled. “You been up to much, music wise?”

“Nah,” you confessed. “I mean, I did a little production stuff, for an indie label, here in town. But mostly, I’ve just been living off royalties, and child support.”

“Fair enough,” Frank replied. “How’s the little one doing?”

“Lena‘s doing great,” you smiled. “She’s full of energy, like most three year olds are.”

You heard Frank laughing.

“What?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I still can’t believe,” Frank snickered, “that you named your daughter Helena.”

“Of course I did,” you said wistfully. “Of all the songs we ever composed together, I think that was my favorite.”

“Honestly, it’s one of my favorites, too,” Frank confessed.

“How are Lily and Cherry?” you asked. “And Miles?”

“The twins just had their seventh birthday,” Frank said proudly. “God, they’re getting so big. And Miles just started kindergarten, he loves it.”

“That’s great,” you smiled. “Lena and I, should come over and visit you guys soon.”

“I’d really like that,” Frank agreed. “I mean, you’re right down the road, after all.”

It was true - Frank, was the only other former band member, who had returned to New Jersey, after things went south.

“....That’s actually part of, what I wanted to talk to you about,” Frank said, after a moment.

“What do you mean?” you wondered.

“So….you and I, still hang out all the time,” Frank began.

“...Yeah?” you nodded. Where was he going with this?

“But, you also visited Ray not too long ago, right?” he asked.

“Uh, yeah, last fall,” you recalled. “He invited me down to his house in California. He wanted me to play drums, for a track on Remember The Laughter.”

It had been nice to see him again - and even nicer, to get out of the East Coast snow.

“But, while you were in LA, you also hung out with Mikey, right?” Frank asked.

“Yeah,” you confirmed. “He asked me to go to a Dodgers game with him, while I was in town. It was pretty fun. He was asking me for parenting advice the whole time, because Kristin was pregnant with Rowan.”

All of the former members of My Chemical Romance were parents now….except one. But, you didn’t want to talk about him. To your chagrin, this was the exact person, whom Frank asked about next.

“What about Gerard?” he demanded.

“What about him?” you scoffed. Even after all this time, thinking about him, still hurt.

“I was texting Gee last night,” Frank explained. “Y/N….he told me that you haven’t gone and seen him, even once, since the day the band broke up.”

“It’s true,” you admitted.

“Shit, man,” Frank swore. “It’s been four years. Do you really hate him, that much?”

“I don’t hate him,” you said softly.

“Could’ve fooled me,” Frank tutted. “Was it really necessary, to block his number?”

“It was,” you insisted. “I have nothing to say to him.”

“Well,” Frank revealed, “he had something, that he wanted me to say to you.”

Your eyes widened.

“What is it?!” you demanded.

“Damn,” Frank teased. “You sound pretty eager, for someone who refuses to speak to him directly. For the record, it’s kinda childish, if you ask me! You and I are both in our thirties now - and he just turned fuckin’ forty. And I still have to be a go-between, for you two?”

“Just tell me what he said, already,” you said impatiently.

“Fine, fine,” Frank sighed. “I’ll get to the point.”

“Well, what is it?” What could he possibly have to say, after all this time?

“He asked me,” Frank whispered, “if you would be interested, in getting the band back together.”

You dropped the phone in shock. It hit the tile floor, with a crash. You were lucky, that the noise didn’t wake Lena. You bit your lip. You wanted to scream, but you couldn’t.

Was this real?! you thought, your hands shaking. Oh, god, please let it be real.

You’d wanted to hear those words for so long. Despite all your anger and resentment towards Gerard….you wanted him, to miss you. You wanted him, to want to get onstage with you again. Because deep down….you still wanted, that, too.

You picked the phone up off the floor, and pressed it to your ear again.

“Damn, Y/N, what was that?” Frank gaped.

“Sorry,” you mumbled. “I can hear you now. So….tell me again? Exactly what he said?”

“He said he wants to get all five of us in a room together,” Frank explained. “Just...try and jam for a little bit, and see where it goes from there.”

“Where?” you asked. “LA, I’m guessing?”

“Yeah….”

“Ok, when?” you interrupted. “I can try and find a sitter, to watch Lena for a weekend, so….”

“Slow down!” Frank urged. “What the fuck, Y/N?”

“What do you mean, what the fuck?” you asked, eyes narrowing.

“You just told me, you haven’t said two words to Gerard, since 2013!” Frank reminded. “Now, all of a sudden, you’re chomping at the bit, to get on a plane, and go see him?”

He had a point. You hated yourself for this. You’d spent the last four years, trying desperately to forget about Gerard. Now, as soon as he dangled the possibility of a reunion in front of you, you were wagging your tail like a dog for him.

He still has me in the palm of your hand, you realized, cheeks burning. I hate it.

“We weren’t sure,” Frank confessed, “if you would want to be part of the reunion at all. You guys didn’t leave things on the best of terms. Like...when you see him again, what the hell are you gonna say to him?”

“I….I don’t know,” you realized. You thought about it for a moment.

“One thing’s for sure,” you decided. “If My Chemical Romance is having a reunion, you’re sure as hell, not gonna have it without me.”

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

You hesitated in the studio doorway, your hand shaking on the door handle.

Come on, you told yourself. You’ve come all this way. The flight from La Guardia to LAX was seven hours long. You had all that time, to talk yourself out of doing this. But, you’re here now. You’ve decided this is what you want.

Steeling yourself, you turned the knob, and entered the room.

He was there, as soon as you walked in. His hair was a natural brown now - not the short blonde it had been, the last time you’d seen him. It had become streaked with grey - but, then again, so had yours. Despite the lines of middle age, that had now begun to crease his face, he was still so, breathtakingly handsome.

“Hey, Y/N,” Gerard said, his voice melting you like butter. “You look great.”

You didn’t say so do you - even though it was true.

“H-how you have been?” you asked, trying to hide your shakes.

“I’ve been well,” Gerard smiled. “How’s Patrick?”

“We’re divorced,” you said dryly.

“....Oh,” Gerard gasped. “Oh, fuck, Y/N, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”

“You would, if you shot me an email, once in a while,” you snapped, remembering that you were supposed to ‘hate’ him.

“Oh, so my number’s blocked, but an email’s fine with you?” Gerard huffed. “How am I supposed to know that? The telephone works both ways, you know.”

“Guys!” interrupted the voice of the reason. “Can you not? Please?”

“Ray!” you gasped, turning to face your frizzy-haired friend. “How are you? It’s so good to see you!”

“It’s good to see you, too, Y/N,” Ray smiled. “I missed you.”

“I missed you guys, too,” said another familiar voice, as Mikey entered the room.

“Hey!” you smiled, walking over to greet him. “How’s the baby doing?”

“She’s beautiful,” Mikey said proudly. “How’s Helena?”

“Little Lena is getting bigger every day,” you smiled. “She’s adorable.”

“You can compare baby pictures later,” joked another voice. “I’d win that contest, anyway. I have three cuties at home.”

“Hi, Frank!” Mikey grinned. “How have you been, dude?”

“Pretty good,” Frank smiled, setting down his guitar case. “Looks like the gang’s all here.”

You looked around the room, scarcely believing it was true. But, you didn’t have to pinch yourself. It was real- all five members of My Chemical Romance, were together again.

“Are you ready to jam?” Ray grinned.

“Absolutely,” you said, surprising yourself.

“What should we play first?” Frank asked, taking his guitar out of its case, and hooking the strap over his shoulder.

“Good question,” Gerard shrugged, walking over to the microphone stand, and adjusting it to his height.

“What about ‘Helena’?” Mikey suggested, tuning his bass.

“Sounds good to me,” you replied. You sat down, behind the drum kit, that the studio space owned. You still had your original kit - with the Danger Days “Exterminate” drum cover - in your basement, back home.

You picked up your sticks. It had been so long, but holding them in your hands, felt so right, in a way that you couldn’t describe.

“Ray, you wanna start us off?” Gerard asked.

“Alright,” Ray nodded. “One, two, three, four…”

He began to play the opening notes, that you knew so well.

“Long ago,” Gerard crooned, “just like the hearse you, died to get in again…”

Your cymbals joined him - and at just the right time, too. Like muscle memory coming back.

“We are,” Gerard sang, “so far from you!”

Mikey and Frank’s parts kicked in, and you felt a wave of adrenaline, that hit you so fast, it almost made you miss the beat.

“Burning on…,” Gerard continued, surprisingly in-key.

“Just like a match you strike to incineraaaaate!” Ray harmonized, “the lives of everyone you knoooow!”

The two men sounded incredible together, given that the last time they’d performed this song, was 2012. It was like riding a bike, you realized. You guys had played this one together, so many times, that it only took being next to each other, to unlock it all again.

You felt a wave of nostalgia, as the song continued:

And what's the worst you take (worst you take)

From every heart you break (heart you break)

And like the blade you stain (blade you stain)

Well, I've been holding on tonight

What's the worst that I can say?

Things are better if I stay

So long and goodnight

So long not goodnight

“....Fuck, that sounded so good!” Gerard grinned, stopping after the chorus. “I thought we’d be really rusty!”

“I know, right?” Ray laughed.

Suddenly, Gerard’s smile faded, as he turned back, and looked at you. “....Y/N?”

“What?” you asked. “I agree, that was decent.”

“Y/N….you’re crying,” Gerard said softly.

“Huh?” you blinked. You set your drumstick down, and touched your finger to your eye. It came away wet.

Fuck, you realized, he’s right. You hadn’t even noticed. Despite the sharp words you’d exchanged, when you walked in the door, playing together, had made your true feelings plain. You had missed this. You had missed this so much.

“I….I think I need a smoke break,” you stammered, and headed for the door.

“Y/N! Wait!” Gerard called. It sounded just like deja vu.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

He found you outside, holding a cigarette in your shaking palm. You could barely see the lighter through your tears. The stupid flame wouldn’t catch.

“You want me to get that?” Gerard offered.

“No!” you sniffed. “Just, go away!”

Ignoring you, Gerard took the lighter from your hand.

“Here,” he said, and lit the cigarette for you. You took a drag.

“....You want one?” you offered, awkwardly handing him the pack, as you wiped your eyes.

“Nah,” Gerard shook his head. “I quit.”

“...Did you really?” you blinked, surprised.

“Yeah, just this year,” Gerard nodded. “I figured, if we were gonna do this, I wanted to make sure, that my lungs were in good shape.”

“....How long have you known, that you wanted to come back?” you wondered.

“Not long,” Gerard confessed. “Honestly, I thought you would say no.”

“To you?” you laughed, bitterly. “Never.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Gerard raised an eyebrow. “I thought you can’t stand me, these days.”

“Gee,” you sighed. “Listen….I never hated you.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“It wasn’t hate, that kept me away,” you confessed. “It was love.”

“Love?” Gerard repeated, confused.

“You broke my heart,” you explained, “when you killed the band.”

“Yeah, all the guys were heartbroken, when I told them it was over,” Gerard acknowledged.

“No,” you shook your head. “You don’t understand.”

“Then, explain it to me!” Gerard demanded. “Nobody was happy with me with that day, but you’re the only one who cut off all contact afterwards! And I have spent every day, of the last four years, wondering why!”

“Because I was in love with you, you idiot!” you cried.

Gerard gasped, staring at you in shock.

Fuck, you trembled. I can’t believe I said that out loud.

“You….wanted to be with me?” Gerard asked, eyes wide.

“Of course I did,” you said, beginning to cry again. “But, you didn’t even want me as a bandmate anymore - let alone a lover. You didn’t feel a thing - you gave up our life’s work, like it was nothing to you.”

“Y/N, I was relapsing,” Gerard said softly, staring at his shoes.

“You….you what?”

“During the World Contamination Tour,” Gerard admitted, shame-faced. “The stress of being on the road, it was just too much for me. I was seven years sober, and I fell off the wagon. I hated myself for it. But I knew, if we started another album cycle, and went on another tour, after that….I was going to do it again.”

“That’s why you wanted to quit the band?” you realized. “I never knew….”

“You never let me explain myself!” Gerard reminded. “You just took off!”

“B-but, I never noticed you drinking, when we were on tour….” you stammered.

“I hid it well,” Gerard sighed. “I didn’t want to disappoint you. You thought I was such a great guy….I didn’t want you to see the truth about me.”

“You are a great guy, Gee,” you assured him. “I’m sorry. I wouldn’t gotten so angry at you, for making the choice you made, if I had known how badly you were struggling, on the inside….”

“It was kill the band,” Gerard revealed, “or fall back into the bad habits, that were going to kill me.”

“I….I don’t want you to get killed, Gerard,” you sobbed. “I would never, ever want that. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, for how I’ve treated you, this whole time….”

“I’m sorry, too,” Gerard said, reaching a gentle hand up, to wipe the tear from your eye. “I’m sorry, that I was so self-absorbed, that I never realized, how you felt about me.”

“I hid that well, too,” you confessed.

“I would never have wasted the last four years of my life like this,” Gerard sighed, “if I had known, that my feelings were reciprocated.”

“Re…Reciprocated?” you repeated. No….could he mean….?

“After you went back to Jersey,” Gerard bared his soul, “I felt like there was a hole in my heart. And I didn’t know why. By the time I figured it out - by the time I was sober, and mentally stable again, and the type of man you actually deserved - goddamnit, Y/N, you were married to someone else!”

“I only accepted Patrick’s proposal, because I was pregnant,” you admitted, embarrassed. “And I only slept with him, in the first place, to try and convince myself, that I was capable of wanting, somebody who wasn’t you.”

“But….you and Patrick split up,” Gerard realized. “Fuck. Y/N. If I had known, that you two weren’t still together….I would have been on a plane to New Jersey, months ago, begging you for another chance.”

“I don’t want him,” you cried. “I want you, Gerard. I always did. I wished Lena was yours, because the wanting never stopped. I want you still!”

“Then, be mine, damnit!” Gerard cried, and took you in his arms. He kissed your tear stained face, and your sobbing finally stopped, as his lips crashed into yours.

He tasted so sweet….everything you’d wanted, and more. It was like a dream come true.

“The guys are waiting inside,” you reminded, “for us to go back in there, and play some more songs with them.”

“Let then wait,” Gerard shushed you, pulling you in again. “I’ve waited four years for this.”

He kissed you, and you felt as if you could fly. All was, finally, right with the world again.

#gerard way x reader #gerard way imagine #band member reader #gothtober #damn I actually really like how this one turned out #I was listening to Forget Me Too by MGK while I was writing it #idk the vibes are the same

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therappundit · 4 years ago

Text

Best of the 1st Half: 2020′s Best Rap Projects (*so far*)...

“I’ve had, the halftime of my life...!”

*record scratch*

2020, WHAT THE F**K. 😳

Ohhh what a first half it has been. If 2020 ended today, it would still be one of the most historic years in a century...and NOT in a pleasant way. Years from now 2020 will be studied for the long-term damage caused by the COVID-19 pandemic, the potential breaking point (hopefully??) of this country’s ignorance to systematic racism and the need for a complete overhaul of our police departments, and of course, whatever the hell comes from the November Presidential election....and, not to mention whatever additional ‘tbd’ chaos rings in the second half of ‘20 that we haven’t even heard about yet!? These are trying times, folks.

My whole life, I have tried to use humor and entertainment to help me with processing high levels of stress and anxiety. This year, that process has felt more daunting than usual. I am writing less and less, and often find Twitter to be too dark of a place for me to navigate. It’s anything but a fulfilling “escape”. Still, I am constantly inspired by all of the new music that fills my headspace during life’s precious little moments, and it really keeps me grounded in the day to day.

At the end of 2019, I wrote the below in one of my posts. It took me back to a special feeling that I had, at a moment when the future seemed more like an opportunity, rather than a worrisome question mark. I’m going to work towards finding that place again, and I wanted to re-share this because it speaks to how the love of any art can be a healthy reminder of what we have to be thankful for in our daily lives:

“Regardless of how you feel about this list, I hope that you visit (or re-visit) any one of these pieces of strong work and find the same level of enjoyment that I did. I loved so much rap music this year and I could not be more excited about what the future holds. On a personal note, in 2019 I found myself even more in love with my wife, feeling luckier than I have in a long time, more satisfied with my hobbies and passions, and above all else, more in awe of my child (and anyone that ever raised a child) than ever before. I became a father for the first time in 2019, so as my baby daughter continues to fill my heart, I am beginning to wonder what she will think of her father’s love for this art form that has brought him so much joy over the years…I suppose time will tell.”

This list is long, because I think the talent that went into these projects is worth your time (and I put a lot of thought into creating this list as well...I do not work in the industry or know anyone that does, and I do not have any real platform - I just do this because I love the music).

If you are an artist on this list, I want to thank you, because you helped me stay positive and focused on a brighter future that I hope will soon come to us all...because everyone has been through something this year, and we deserve better. So salute to you and many, many others. 🙏🙏🙏

- THE Rap Pundit

The “Rules” for my list of the Best Projects of Q1-Q2 2020:

- the album/mixtape/EP/project/whatever you want to call it had to be released this year, by June 26, 2020

- the project must have at least 6 songs

- these rankings are a combination of my own personal preference, my take on overall quality of the project (whether it speaks deeply to my sensibilities or not), and how the final product compares to other work from the artists’ peers that occupy the same lane/‘sub-genre’ of rap music

So here we go 👀...

1. The Price of Tea in China by Boldy James and The Alchemist

Sometimes the greatest albums are not the most ambitious or flashy, they are remembered based off the strength of artistic chemistry and execution. Basketball fans know the beauty of a perfectly timed chest pass to a teammate streaking towards the basket can be more impressive than a behind the back pass that’s simply done for the sake of showing everyone that you can do a fancy pass. Staying with that theme, The Price of Tea in China is The Alchemist doing his best John Stockton impression, serving to Boldy James’ Karl Malone, and by album’s end you realize that Boldy scored a quiet 40 points while making this rap shit look like an easy lay-up.

TPOTIC finds Boldy sprinkling every ounce of his Detroit seasoning into Al’s pot to yield one of the most Mobb Deep-esque collaboration albums since Mobb Deep was dropping albums. In turn, this project is not only Boldy’s greatest work, but it serves as a re-introduction of a veteran MC that is suddenly more relevant than ever. Much like what Freddie Gibbs and Madlib did with 2019′s Bandana, this project is a great lesson on what MC and Producer chemistry can sound like when both parties are 100% on the same page when it comes to message, tone, and aesthetic goals.

It would make sense that Boldy James would fall into the Griselda fold, because much like Westside Gunn, Conway The Machine and Benny The Butcher, he comes from a city with a rich rap music scene that still struggles to reach the level of exposure that the NYCs, L.A.’s, Chicago's and Atlanta’s have basked in for so long. He writes from a place of “been there, done that”, showing a rich attention to detail that separates his street tales from that of his peers in the same way someone telling a story second or third hand can’t match the level of detail that an eye witness has saved in the memory bank. Boldy has survived both real world and music business challenges to rise from the ashes of “hey whatever happened to so & so, he was about to blow” conversations to reach a new peak in his mid-30′s. He deserved this suite of incredible Alchemist soundscapes (Al is deep in his bag here, delivering some of his most low-key impressive instrumentals in years), and like his super-producer buddy, Boldy is looking down at us from atop an already prolific 2020 at its’ midpoint.

I’m not sure anyone can match the chemistry that Prodigy and Mobb Deep had with The Alchemist, but in 2020, The Price of Tea in China delivers some of the most brutally subdued, occasionally humorous, stripped down rap records since P was throwing TV’s at us like he had nothing left to lose. If The Price of Tea in China isn’t holding the championship at year’s end, it still deserves to be mentioned as an impressive work by one of the strongest title-worthy unions running the pick and roll in the genre today.

2. Àdá Irin by Navy Blue

Okay let’s be honest: the “sub-genre” that is often referred to as lo-fi rap music (whether you consider it an actual lane or not, I know you know what I’m talking about...which I suppose proves its’ existence, right?), is beginning to suffer from the same affliction that all other sub-genres tend to suffer from once the word is out that this is “the thing” that the kids find trendy right now. A lot of folks in this lane sound *exactly* the same to the average listener. I’m not even the average listener, and I often feel that way. The irony that comes with being part of the sound that’s supposed to be bucking the mainstream clone machine turning into a mini-clone machine itself, means that the window is in danger of closing to avoid over-saturation of the artists that are already thriving between the gravelly, whisper-welcoming walls of Soundcloud URLs and Bandcamp EPs being slid to their heady fanbase with zero promotion. So with that all being said...why give Navy Blue a chance?

Navy Blue lacks the name recognition of many of his peers (for now), but he has now been thriving in the lo-fi pocket for some time as both a MC and producer, a young artist that’s closely connected to the lane’s most famous figureheads (Earl Sweatshirt, and to some extent, Mach-Hommy), as well as less heralded trailblazers like MIKE and the whole sLUms collective. Sure you can check out Navy’s Soundcloud page to get a taste of his work, but with this Àdá Irin album, we don’t just hear raw snippets of a freshly discovered unsigned talent. With this album we hear Navy as a self-assured solo artist, capable of sharing an inspirational song with the likes of Ka and sounding like every bit of the veteran next to the iconic soft-spoken lyricist. This is a very, very impressive debut full length album that showcases the best that the (sub)genre has to offer: some experimentation, jazzy loops, the diary-like intimacy of words that sit like dust on an old basement book shelf, and the raw emotions that come from working through love, pain and loss in real time. In 2020 there may be nothing completely new under the sun, but it’s the aesthetic choices that Navy Blue makes with every verse and every instrumental that make Àdá Irin feel like a perfect balance of beauty and sadness. If you want to dip a toe in this water but you’re not sure you can get into the mumblecore-ish world of MIKE, MAVI, Medhane or Earl’s work from the past two years, this Navy Blue album might actually be the perfect intro.

3. A Written Testimony by Jay Electronica (featuring JAY-Z)

Not a lot of positive breaking news in 2020...but when Jay Electronica surprised Twitter with a few cryptic Tweets back in February, implying that he was dropping an album (and Jay-Z would likely be involved), the rap game was set ablaze with excitement, skepticism, disbelief, and hope (albeit with some measured caution there as well).

This is something that fans, and arguably the entire rap world, had been clamoring for for a decade, many long since moving on believing that Jay Elec’s debut album had gone the way of Detox, sharing “1a & 1b” status as the most eagerly anticipated projects none of us seriously expected to hear.

Then it dropped....and then it went. In a Twitter-run rap world, quality is too often measured by how long a piece of art stays within the “trending” mix, as opposed to...well, whether or not it’s actually good! The truth is, A Written Testimony is not just good, it’s very, very good, and while it’s not the “Illmatic 2″ that some may have been expecting, realistically it’s superior to what I imagined a new project from such a reclusive artist would sound like in 2020. If you at least try to table the expectations laid out when “Exhibit C” came out in 2009...I think you will find a project (it’s up to you whether or not you want to count this a “solo debut” or not, but at this point, it’s new Jay Electronica - can we just leave it at that??) stacked with memorable moments, quotable gems throughout, stellar production (this is one of the best produced projects of 2020 by far, not sure how/why this piece of the puzzle would receive anything less than acclaim), and some moments of questionable preaching made more palatable by a strong overall voice and package.

Jay Electronica raps with conviction throughout, and while the project feels brief, it lasts long enough to be more than a quick feeling, even if many feel that it’s not long enough to feel like a full album. If "Exhibit C" was the teaser then this is the redband trailer, flashing enough skill and details to resonate for far longer than its’ duration. Much has been said about the heavy hand of JAY-Z on most of the project’s 7 tracks, but let’s be clear, this is not Watch The Throne 2 (even though at points, it may feel like something along those lines). Yes, in impressive fashion, Hov comes through riding shotgun to show a deeper shade of one of his more complex dimensions, with many of his rhymes begging for dissection with every bar. However, AWT features a JAY-Z that’s rapping through Jay Electronica’s lens, not by any means where 4:44 or Everything Is Love left off. This is definitely a Jay Electronica album. AWT dives in and out of Jay Electronica’s beliefs in broad strokes that appear and disappear rather quickly, but even when certain verses raise more questions than provide answers, every song still has at least a handful of the gripping words that remind us of what made Jay Elec-Hanukkah sound like the chosen one in the first place (his tussle with writer’s block and hesitation to put out any art make for some of the projects most engaging moments).

If A Written Testimony is the last Jay Electronica album we ever here - which I truly hope it is not the case - it is still a memorable piece of work. So if you were one of the folks that moved on from it after the “surprise” of Jay finally dropping a project subsided, I hope you change that stance and revisit it once again.

4. Descendants of Cain by Ka

“Quiet and frigid disposition, growin' up in the cold / Surprised I ain't get high from what I was low enough to behold / Like when Pops shot at the neighbor's shop, put one in his head / He knew how he grew me, threw me the gun, a hundred, and fled / Didn't play, 'fore po' arose dispose of exhibit A / I was raised to age a few years in a day / If not elite, didn't eat if you didn't pray / As much as I heal, had to deal, all my scars are here to stay / Our senseis spent days peddling / Our heroes sold heroin.” - Ka, “Patron Saints”

He makes it seem almost too easy. If the writing wasn't so gripping, you might not even revisit it. Ka’s Descendants of Cain arrived with little fanfare, except for the collective awe of his humble but religiously devoted fan-base. The religious devotion is an important piece here, as Cain adds to Ka’s quietly impressive discography another strong album that leans on classic scribes as inspiration to spin poignant metaphors on Brooklyn street philosophy.

This time, the classic work is the Christian Bible, and Ka being the brilliant MC/poet that he is, seems to have little trouble working with the medium to preach without sounding preachy, and wax familiar-sounding nostalgia over wax that sounds as dusty as it feels fresh, rich, and urgent. Producing much of the album himself, along with a few trusted collaborators, the album’s strength is in its’ density, as each song feels like it requires a pause to unpack every bar...and to be honest, that’s exactly the type of attention this work deserves. If you missed this one in the first half of 2020′s feverish dump of new releases, you need to remedy that immediately.

5. Pray for Paris by Westside Gunn

If The Alchemist is the overall rap music MVP for his many contributions to 2020 thus far, Westside Gunn may deserve at least a few honorable mentions. From becoming the ambassador of Buffalo New York to stepping up as an ambassador of the underground rap resurgence, I don’t think any other rap artist has done more to run with the torch that Roc Marciano has been waving for a damn decade than the Griselda mastermind. If you happened to hear Gunn name-dropping to Peter Rosenberg on Rosenberg’s long-standing Real Late show on Hot 97, you know exactly what I mean. Shouting-out close allies and lesser known peers alike, Gunn’s presence proudly announced the underground movement’s invasion of the highly known New York City radio station. It felt like ECW invading WWE’s Monday Night Raw all over again. Of course Gunn’s voice was met with more ears than usual during that interview, since that appearance came hot off the heels of the release of his much discussed side project turned full-blown album, Pray for Paris.

By now most fervent rap fans know the story behind the album (a project that miraculously arrived to completion while Gunn was suffering from the affects of coronavirus), but for many Pray for Paris is the introduction to the story of Griselda Records and the world that they revel in. If Conway the Machine and Benny the Butcher are responsible for the Griselda team’s grittiest street tales, Westside Gunn’s success leans on his ability to blur the line between all-too-real violence and cartoon violence, splattered with elite luxury references and shout-outs for his fellow wrestling addicts. The song titles are merely scattered trains of thoughts that may or may not have anything directly to do with a song’s actual meaning, it’s like naming your child ‘brunch in Williamsburg’ just because it was the last meal you happened to have that day. An audience brought up on Lil Wayne as the God MC may be completely lost at the appeal, but audiences brought up on Wu, DOOM and Sean Price know exactly what vibe Westisde Gunn is going for.

At times Gunn can come across as more of a talent curator than a stand alone MC, so if this is the album that takes Gunn to the next level as a rap star, it would make him the most unselfish rap star to come along in some time. A rapper doesn’t jump on an Alchemist produced track with the likes of Freddie Gibbs and Roc Marciano and expect to leave with anything but the Bronze medal. The same can be said for his chopped and screwed contribution to “Claiborne Kick”, which clearly belongs to Boldy James. That’s not to say that Gunn’s verse is a weak moment on any of the joints on Paris, but the fact that he consistently surrounds himself with high caliber writers confirms that he is well aware that the quality of the final product will be determined by the team involved, not just the artists’ name on the album cover.

For someone that considers himself more of an artist than a rapper, he continues to paint intriguing collages with every album, featuring him at the center of an ever-expanding portrait of MCs, producers, singers, designers, and dancers. Pray for Paris is a typical Griselda project that also happens to sport the potential of something larger than most of their fanbase ever imagined. Yes we get the dark backdrops, elite underground production, and quotables throughout, but we also get a few additional shades, as Gunn dabbles with a “beauty and the beast” dynamic that cleanly pairs his violent imagery with fashionista pomp and circumstance (which no doubt helped draw the likes of Wale and Tyler, the Creator to this project). But t’s all less of a solo album to push a mainstream solo career forward, and much more of a cannonball through the mainstream wall, just to allow some sunlight to shine on his people...and his city, for that matter - because best believe, Paris may be the inspiration behind the project but Buffalo, New York is still with him every step of the way.

6. Alfredo by Freddie Gibbs and The Alchemist

A highly enjoyable surprise drop from two-thirds of the potent combination that gave us the fan favorite project that was Fetti (shout-out to Curren$y, though), Alfredo feels like the perfect treat to hold us over during these trying times. It feels rushed, but simultaneously sharp and activated. It has the feeling of a controlled experiment that was slapped together in separate rooms, rather than carefully curated by multiple artists hunched over the same mixer for days on end. Alfredo is more of a display of two power hitters putting on an impressive showing at a Home Run Derby, rather than the collaboration that has been slowly simmering for years...but that’s also part of the fun, because it feels like Al & Fredo (eh?) were just as excited to release it as we all were to hear it.

Neither party is reinventing the wheel here, but if you are going to have a rapper and a producer connect for an album of great rapping over great beats, you would be hard pressed to find a more natural pairing than these two. The Alchemist delivers with samples that channel the speakeasy jazz of an old piano, and Freddie is simply the king of hard-rap soul right now, so he excels on every song. There are moments of darkness, moments of hope, and moments of self reflection (Gibbs is a logical choice to swing haymakers back at cops abusing their power), all delivered by Freddie at a break-neck speed over Al's significantly less urgent production....as if Gibbs frantically spilled his guts to his buddy over the phone while Al was kickin’ back with a joint saying “uh-huh...yup, I hear ya man.” The final result is an effective one, if not a quick teaser of what a lengthier amount of collaboration time between the two might sound like. It should also be said that the guest verses on this album (especially those from Tyler, The Creator and Conway) took this album up a few spots on this ‘best of’ list. Alfredo is easily one of the strongest surprises of 2020.

7. Reasonable Drought by Stove God Cook$ and Roc Marciano

There is a tradition in the rap music biz that newer/younger artists are often shepherded along by more seasoned artists in order to insure that the less experienced artist is blessed with the built-in audience that comes with a co-sign. It doesn’t always work, but typically the initiation comes with a solid musical foundation on a debut project accompanied by a greener MC still finding his/her way. Not the case with Stove God Cook$, he is perhaps the most unexpectedly fresh MC to be cut from classic rap cloth since Griselda & Mach-Hommy began to build cult-like followings.

While Reasonable Drought (and seriously, how bold of a title is that for a debut!?) is blessed by the impressive production and mentorship of underground rap icon Roc Marciano, it truly is the lesser known MC himself that captures the imagination right from the get-go. When I say that in my life time, I cannot recall such a strong debut performance by a MC that I have heard virtually no work from prior to his 2019 emergence, with the help of minimal publicity/ad budget (if any? Cook$ was barely on social media until *after* his album had already been released) on his way to dropping an album with zero features...then you should take my recommendation very seriously. Fresh style, some of the most rewind-worthy quotables in recent memory (an Uncle Buck reference!? Bow down, people), and a new following built exclusively on the word of mouth of equal-minded folks that were blown away by a project many copped on a passing whim... it’s clear that this moment could be the beginning of an amazing, fascinating career.

Similar to Roc Marciano before him, Cook$ possesses a rare flare with his wordplay and delivery that makes even the ugliest tales of coke dealing and disrespectful criminal activity sound like the colorful exploits of a post-Blaxploitation hero. He delivers every bar with the uber-specific word choice of Roc, but the outgoing swag of a Max B. The man that has people that never touched cocaine in their life singing that they’re “smelling like a brick right now”, is smelling like a winner in 2020 and beyond.

8. Battle Scar Decorated by Monday Night & Henny L.O.

Last call to board the Mutant Academy bandwagon!

I have been saying that this deep underground collective of MCs & producers has been low key having a banner year all year long, and scrolling through this list you can see exactly what I mean. Henny L.O. is too good to be slotted as just a battle rapper, while Monday Night is far too strong of a presence to be considered a mere associate of the core Mutant team. When you think of Mutant Academy and their respective affiliated acts, think of them as a gathering of solo artists that happen to make dope rap music together, but all parties involved are capable of standing on their own two. I think that’s what consistently impresses me about their projects...hat, and the lack of filler material.

Along with a deep Rolodex of mostly under-the-radar talent, the hunger and confidence of a thriving Richmond, Viriginia rap scene is present on every track of Battle Scar Decorated. Much like many of my favorite albums of 2020, there is no reinventing of the wheel here, the triumph is in the execution. Monday & Henny tag in and out, each with the confidence that they have spit the best verse on the song before they have even finished. It’s that level of ability combined with a shocking amount of production talent that makes Battle Scar Decorated essential listening to anyone that wants to be reminded of a vibe that hasn’t been in abundance in the underground rap scene since L.A. in the late 90′s. It wouldn’t be fair to talk about how much I enjoyed this project without including the great producers involved, so a big s/o to: Sycho Sid, C.R.I.S.T.E.N, James Couch, Savvy, Heather Grey, and Ewonne.

9. Eastern Medicine, Western Illness by Preservation

Accompanied by a who’s who of underground hip-hop’s finest (Roc Marciano, Mach-Hommy, Your Old Droog, Quelle Chris, Nickelus F, Tree, Navy Blue, Billy Woods, Ka *and more* - I mean seriously!?), Preservation has assembled an impressively cohesive compilation album both sonically and thematically.

Incorporating record samples from his travels in China, Eastern Medicine, Western Illness feels born in simplicity even though it is anything but a casual collection of dope verses over tightly wound production. A quietly gifted producer, Preservation knows how to squeeze the best out of his guests without shouting the results through the speakers, the choices are more subtle but yield a high impact and replay value. Listening to the project feels more like listening to a secret, unreleased project, because it’s hard to believe that this much talent would gift this much high caliber writing to a compilation of songs...although that was not uncommon in the 90′s and early 00′s (ah, I’m showing my old age again). Perhaps that’s a testament to Preservation’s vision, a DJ/producer with a relatively small catalog built on curated quality (see his fantastic 2015 collaboration with Ka on Days With Dr. Yen Lo). Eastern Medicine has enough talent involved that it could have been a worthy listen even if it was just as a hodgepodge of donated loosies, so the fact that the final product is so much more than that makes it an album that warrants a great deal of more attention.

10. The Allegory by Royce Da 5′9″

No accomplished lyricist makes life harder on himself than Royce Da 5′9″. Be it his tendency to cram personal observations and disclosures in and around his punchlines, or experimenting production wise, the Detroit veteran is intent on finding new ways to approach fine wine music, tossing more complex offerings into his catalog over the past few years. Things are no different with The Allegory.

Not only did Royce once again pen an album that speaks to his ability to cope with his own past and present, he inserts himself in the producer chair as well, addressing the trials and tribulations of the increasingly problematic world around him, over backdrops crafted by only his hand a a few trusted peers. The effect is mostly successful, with the production exceeding the expectations of many (myself included), while the writing is at times both thought-provoking and in need of further exploration on Royce’s part. The guest features range from effective to scene stealing (not because Royce ‘s verse is outshined, but there are moments where it seems as if the guest is better suited over Royce’s own production than he is). If you’re Royce Da 5′9″ and you release an album titled The Allegory, no one should expect a simple quick fix of bars over easily digestible instrumentals. The highs come in abundance, and while the lows come in small trip-ups and the occasional skit that the listener probably could have done without, you get the sense that with some editing and further focus of his lofty goals, his sermons could have been sharpened into a more effective analysis of many of his topics (the music business, being black in America, history, conspiracy theories), resulting in an incredible album instead of a very good one. Nevertheless, it is all worth the ride to hear the latest work from one of rap music’s most gifted MC’s from the past decade. If The Allegory isn’t a home-run, it’s at the very least a strong base hit.

Top 50 (all belong in the Top 10-25, but...there’s only 25 spots in the Top 25, soooo):

11. Cold Water by Medhane

12. Shrines by Armand Hammer

13. Bag Talk by yungmorpheus & Pink Siifu

14. Try Again by ovrkast.

15. RTJ4 by Run The Jewels

16. Noise Kandy 4 by Rome Streetz

17. Innocent Country 2 by Quelle Chris

18. Weight of the World by MIKE

19. Sages by Henny L.O. & Ohbliv

20. Milestones by Skyzoo

21. Carpe Noctem by Big Ghost Ltd

22. Lake Water by SeKwence

23. At the End of the Day. by Fly Anakin

24. Sole Food by Deniro Farrar

25. The Oracle 3 by Grafh

26. The Blue Tape by Tree

27. lo&behold by lojii

28. Infinite Wisdom by Lord Jah-Monte Ogbon

29. FULL CIRCLE by Medhane

30. UNLOCKED by Denzel Curry & Kenny Beats

31. The Throwaways by The Opioid Era

32. Anyways by Young Nudy

33. PTSD (Deluxe) by G Herbo

34. Holly Favored by Monday Night & Foisey

35. THE GOAT by Polo G

36. Demon & Mufasa by Yhung T.O. & DaBoii

37. The Face of Jason by ANKHLEJOHN

38. My Turn by Lil Baby

39. No One Mourns the Wicked by Conway & Big Ghost Ltd.

40. Two4one by Jay Worthy

41. Free Drakeo by Drakeo

42. Alone Time by YL

43. Assata by CV$ a.k.a. Con$piracy & Teller Bank$

44. Thug Tear by Big Kashuna O.G. & Monday Night

45. Ways and Means by Rasheed Chappell & 38 Spesh

46. IMMORTALKOMBAT by Al Divino & Estee Nack

47. Young & Turnt 2 by 42 Dugg

48. Sleeper Effect by Sleep Sinatra

49. Juno by Che Noir & 38 Spesh

50. LULU by Conway & The Alchemist

THE REST OF THE BEST (all belong in the Top 50 releases of 2020, but..what can I say, blame 2020 for being such a stacked year for music/events I guess):

Black Schemata by yungmorpheus, The Smartest by Tee Grizzley, Polly by the Powder Keg by Chuck Chan & Pad Scientist, High Off Life by Future, Gotham City Album by Plex Diamonds, Memphis Massacre 2 by Duke Deuce, Poetic Substance by RIM & Vinyl Villain, Styles David: Ghost Your Enthusiasm by Styles P, MF Bloo by Bloo & Spanish Ran, LSD by The Leonard Simpson Duo & Guilty Simpson, Funeral by Lil Wayne, RAW UNKNOWN by Spectacular Diagnostics, Nezzie’s Star by Eddie Kaine, ShrapKnel (self-titled), The Bluest Note by Skyzoo & Dumbo Station, WUNNA by Gunna, Get Money Teach Babies by Heist Life & Spanish Ran, Open Casket by Killer Kane, 6 Rings by Yung Mal, The Beauty of It by Eto, Meet The Woo 2 by Pop Smoke, Fresh Air by UFO Fev & Statik Selektah, Vito by Vince Ash, GRIMM & EViL by GRiMM Doza, RUDEBWOY by CJ Fly, Rocket to Nebula by Killah Priest, EVERYTHING by Kota the Friend, NO Blade of Grass by V Don, Eternal Atake by Lil Uzi Vert, I’m My Brother’s Keeper by Yella Beezy & Trapboy Freddy, Carhartt Champions by Tree Mason, Viral Viral! by Dunbar, Rowhouse Whispers by Ray West & Zilla Rocca, Magneto Was Right #4 by Raz Fresco, DUMP LIFE by Tha God Fahim, Jay NiCE & Left Lane Didon, Burn One, Tap In, Zone Out by Dot Demo, FNTG: From Niggaz to Godz by Squeegie O, PANAGNL4E, Vol. 2 by Los and Nutty, Death 2 All Haterz 2 by Rigz & Symph, Thank You For Using GTL by Drakeo & JoogSzn, Adjust to the Game by Larry June, Martyr’s Prayer by Elcamino & 38 Spesh, BETTER by Deante’ Hitchcock, Attack of the Future Shocked, Flesh Covered, Meatbags of the 85 by $ilkMoney, No Cosign Just Cocaine 3 by Ty Farris, Hear No Equal by Chuuwee, MSYKM by Tsu Surf, Your Birthday’s Cancelled by Iron Wigs, Spring Clean by Curren$y & Fuse, Arctic Plus Degrees (The Sun Don’t Chill Allah) by Planet Asia & DirtyDiggs, Psychological Cheat Sheet by Vic Spencer, Glass 2.0 by Meyhem Lauren & Harry Fraud, Trust the Chain by Planet Asia & 38 Spesh, Director’s Cut (Scene Two) by Ransom & Nicholas Craven, and Son Of A Gun by Key Glock.

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