#but the point is its always either super easy or super hard/failure

[ambagel]

I'm just laughing at the difference between my Ruggie Birthday Jacket card pulls and my Masquerade Malleus card pulls. I started with roughly 140-ish pulls, but I had to go all the way to 200 pity for Malleus. I finished all the twistune missions and kept doing them for achivements, I was basically running twistunes all day long, I leveled up a bunch of R and Sr cards, at one point I accidentally wasted a ten pull on Jade's jacket banner and almost screamed. By the time I got the last pull I was so mad that I smacked the screen when he showed up. Then Ruggie, I save for months to make sure this won't happen again, and first try there he is 💃 I've since forgiven Malleus but it's very funny to me how different these two went🤸‍♀️ I expect my Silver birthday pulls to be hell

[daftpatience]

Dm tips! I'm quite passionate about ttrpgs so I've been having a think about things that might help, I really hope this comes across more as helpful and fun rather than overwhelming!! tldr Have fun with creating a story together and don't put too much pressure on yourself to do everything

- Don't be afraid to ask for help from the table when keeping track of things! Sometimes it can be hard to keep everything in your head as one person, and there's nothing wrong with asking others to help keep track of initiative, jot down notes, look up how magic items and spells work, exc.

- If you haven't heard of them yet/used them before, I would recommend looking into 'lines and veils' and other safety tools for playing ttrpgs; even if you think your game won't get too dark, in a game where people can get deeply emotionally invested in the world and their characters, its good to set clear boundaries and safety nets for what people are comfortable exploring + to what depth.

- Have plans that allow the world to bring the story to the players; players can do the darnedest stuff sometimes, and if you have a set module or story in mind, it can be easy to start feeling out of depth as the players take actions that lead them further and further away from what you had in mind/planned. There are a few things that can help with this, some examples being:

a) be loosey goosey about where things are until the players travel there: if your players need to find a specific ancient sword in an abandoned, cursed town, but they travel in the opposite direction of where you had planned the town to be, just move it so it crosses their path. If you want them to be able to choose between a few different paths but still want them to find this sword no matter what, you can also change the aesthetic of the town but keep the quest details the same: for example, if they choose to go to bright Bloomshearth rather than Wroughtfield, the town they find mysteriously abandoned might be overgrown with mysterious, colourful flowers, the sky always lit in a golden afternoon glow, rather than deep, dark vines and howling winds... that way there's still an element of choice without putting in too much extra work.

b) Ask yourself 'if the players don't accomplish xyz, what are the in-world consequences?' If they fail a quest to defeat all of the slimes in a tavern cellar, does the tavern keeper throw them out? Does the building later become overwhelmed with the infestation and cause an even larger fight than before? Do the party gain a negative reputation in the area for a job poorly done? On a larger scale, if they fail to prevent a villain from collecting all the artefacts they need to start an apocalypse, do they kidnap a player/beloved NPC to complete the ritual? Do local kingdoms start preparing for war, with soldiers marching the streets? Are villages the players visit become empty as people flee, or destroyed by enemy forces? You don't need to have absolutely specific answers, but asking yourself these kinds of questions beforehand gives you more control over where the story goes and means you don't have to rely on players successfully completing tasks in order to keep the ball rolling: the players don't always need to succeed, and failure can actually lead to some fascinating paths! It also gives you a chance to set stakes and get the players more invested in their world by giving their actions tangible weight and consequence. Said consequences don't have to been super serious in order to be engaging either, especially if you're playing something lighter or more silly: fit the consequences to the type of story you want to tell.

c) If the players don't do xyz, are there any NPCs that might instead? Or any NPCs that might be competing to complete a task/grab an item before the players can? This can invite a sense or urgency and challenge that some players enjoy, or if the NPC is on the players' side it can allow certain necessary/fun story points to continue on even if the party don't quite make it. This can be combined with the previous point too: if the party do not accomplish an important task, does the NPC have to make any sacrifices to complete it on their behalf? And if they're challenging the players and win against them, what will they do with that accomplishment/item?

- Invite the players to describe things and help paint the world: things like 'how does your character feel about this?', 'What memory or emotion does this scent/sound/place/exc. bring your character?', and 'what is your character hoping to find/get out of this situation?' can be great ways to gain insight into what's important to that character (great to note for any future shenanigans) and also invites people to openly collaborate on storytelling. If a character rolls incredibly well (or sometimes if they fail spectacularly too) on a skill check or attack roll, it can be fun to hand over the reigns and ask them to describe how they succeed at the task at hand, you might be surprised + inspired by what they come up with.

- if you're confused by a player's actions, it's okay to ask them what they are hoping to accomplish with their actions: sometimes it's not always clear and people are often eager to clarify when given the chance to do so, you don't have to try and guess! This also helps avoid situations of disappointment when a player rolls well and the results in-world aren't what they wanted to happen

- Have fun! Don't be afraid to improvise things in the moment, have a laugh with friends, and try to remember how awesome it is you're putting in so much thought and effort into making a story together: it can be really easy to fall into the trap of not feeling good enough as a dm, especially if a session doesn't go as you expect, and if that's the case don't be afraid to reach out and ask for some positive vibes/feedback on the game. Even the best dms can feel low after a sesh sometimes, so don't feel bad if it happens, especially in the first few sessions whilst getting the hang of it! Giving each other small compliments on player actions and dm storytelling immediately after a session has ended is a great way to check in with everyone and leave the session on a positive note too, in my experience!

Hope this is okay to send, I hope you have a blast!! :D

thank you so much, this is all WONDERFUL advice!!!!! ♥♥♥ im noting it all down in my little dm bible ✍

[xaracosmia]

ꕥ — WELCOME TO NEFE COSMIA, GIOVANNI SAKAKI. 🌓

ꕥ  — OOC INFORMATION;

name / alias: Twin  Age: 21+ Pronouns: she/they ooc contact: Twin_Destinies on Twitter other characters in xc: Nicholas Rush, Hermes, Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera

  ꕥ  — IC INFORMATION;

Name: Giovanni Sakaki Age: 35 Pronouns: He/Him Series: Pokemon  canon point: Between red/blue/yellow/firered/leafgreen and Gold/silver/heartgold/soulsilver

app triggers: Child neglect/abuse/abandonment, kidnapping, animal (pokemon) abuse, animal (pokemon) death, implications of gore, gangs, exploitation, world domination, death, murder, general dark themes.

  personality: Giovanni is, of course, the kind of man people want to follow. He’s charismatic and easy to look to as someone who knows what he’s doing. Whose ideals should be followed. He’s confident and ready to show the world what he and Team Rocket mean to do at any given moment, no matter how many times he fails. If he has one thing going for him, it’s an unprecedented level of determination and self-confidence that’s difficult to come by.

  But with that confidence comes arrogance, and he is not someone who plays well with others. He wants to be top growlithe, and he won’t let anyone stand in his way. He believes in his plans and ONLY his plans and it’s difficult for him to see reason, or to ever admit that he might be wrong about something. His cocky, smug attitude is not just a front- he really is an asshole most of the time. That’s what gets him the respect he craves.

  He is a very selfish man who wants what he wants and doesn’t care who gets hurt in the pursuit of it. He has a hard time understanding compassion and tends to blame everyone but himself when things go wrong.

  Is there anything redeeming about him? Giovanni is actually a bit more complex than just a villain for the sake of being a villain. Yes, power and using pokemon to take over the world are super important to him, but he values personal growth and can see the strength in others. He enjoys a challenge and more than once getting knocked down a peg has caused him to reevaluate himself and his goals. There’s a certain noble quality to him and even he is willing to aside his goals for the sake of something bigger. He is extremely loyal to his team and seeks ways to ensure they grow collectively.

   There’s something inside him, clawing to get to the surface, but so far he has managed to keep it contained. He may not seem to care about much, but there’s a reason he became known as Giovanni of the land. If nothing else, his fascination with ground-type pokemon has made him a formidable trainer who knows the value of hard work. Does he care about his pokemon?

  Hm hm. Who knows.

  something your muse struggles with: Doing what he truly thinks is right, Facing his issues, Changing his ways.                      

your muse’s greatest strength: Leadership qualities, Coming through in times of need, not giving up no matter how many ten year olds beat him.  

  history / background:  

  Over the years, Team Rocket became known as the largest threat within the Kanto region. There wasn’t a city, port or town that didn’t know about the criminal group or its intentions to use pokemon to take over the world. Team Rocket spread fear throughout the region, and even into other regions as its activities continued largely without conflict. No one seemed willing to try and take Team Rocket down, and even those who did usually met with failure. As the team continued to flourish, Giovanni found himself feeling dissatisfied with his life. Perhaps he had started to realize he had ended up falling for his mother’s wishes, or maybe he was just the type to always crave more. Either way, he started to look for other means of entertainment.

  While the Team Rocket Boss was feared by many, no one knew who that man actually was. Giovanni had done well to keep himself directly out of the limelight and anyone who suspected him really had no proof to back it up. Whispers on the wind. It was a golden opportunity, he realized. Why not use his anonymity to further his ambitions? He decided once again to focus on his training, though gone were the days where he thought he might become a normal trainer and have a happy life. Now all he could see were ways of using his skills as a trainer to get whatever power he wanted.

  He decided to set his headquarters in the city that started it all- Viridian. There he became the city’s ground-type gym leader, the last stop before proving your worth in the pokemon league. An incredibly difficult gym to battle, and the perfect cover to hide all his criminal acts behind. It seemed to ease the restlessness of his spirit, perhaps because it granted him a portion of the life he had always wanted but had never managed to get hold of. He was a gym leader. A real trainer. He fought trainers and saw their potential as the final challenge before the hardest stretch of their pokemon journey. In the years that followed, his gym leader life felt more like a separate persona rather than a means to hide his underworld dealings. He engaged in it whole-heartedly, even creating the Earthquake TM to give to trainers who managed to defeat him. His training with ground-types continued and he expanded the knowledge of ground types in general, going as far as writing a book for the younger generations to use as a means to strengthen their own ground-type pokemon. Hell, he was the first person to discover that Rhydon could evolve into Rhyperior. Part of his cover? Or a man getting lost in the fantasy of a normal life?

  But of course his criminal activities never stopped during that time. Even as he situated in his role as gym leader and progressed the standards of ground-type training, he continued to run Team Rocket, and their reputation continued to spread. It was on a heist in Johto that he encountered something that didn’t fit either of his current personas- love. He met a woman, a trainer, who ended up captivating him like no other. The two fell quickly in love and Giovanni found himself once more facing a complication in running the largest criminal organization in the world. How could he risk loving someone when so many people wanted his head on a platter? But he was still young and foolish, deciding that he could face anyone who tried to mess with his personal life. A decision that was, ultimately, the wrong one to make. After he and his wife had their first son, a red-headed boy he had named Silver, his wife was murdered in a raid. A painful reminder that the criminal world was no place for real happiness. After her passing, Giovanni fell further into the darkness he had created for himself, devoting more of his time to his criminal ways and less towards the things that now seemed like nothing but risks. Giovanni felt he had no choice but to continue leaving his mark on the world. There was nothing left for him but his legacy certainly would be made to linger. He focused his money and resources on a new project:

  Creating a pokemon so powerful no one would ever be able to stop him from whatever it was he wanted to do with the time he had left. He funded experiments led by a scientist named Fuji into the development of an all-powerful legendary pokemon recreated and enhanced from the DNA of the mythical pokemon known as Mew. 

  Eventually, a young trainer popped up and seemed the only one willing to try and stop Giovanni’s schemes, even managing to thwart a couple of his plans. While it really shouldn’t have bothered him, as a couple of foiled plans really weren’t enough to impact a large organization like Team Rocket, he found himself wondering if maybe he was losing his edge. Or was it his interest? He had been the leader of Team Rocket for so long and what had it gotten him? Death, loss… maybe even the illness that plagued him. He was disenchanted. Jaded. Tired. And the trainer… there was something special about them. The trainer had a spirit that reminded him of his own youth. Of his short-lived attempts to escape his criminal destiny. If he had succeeded, would he have turned out the same? A strong-willed trainer with a deep love of pokemon that was clear to anyone? He returned to Viridian after his failure to take over Silph Co, and he found himself seeing the gym as if for the first time all over again. How long had it been since it had last been open? Since he had last dawned the persona of Gym Leader? After running around away from the gym for so long, he returned to be challenged by the same trainer who had stopped him a couple of times before. The gym, for him, had turned into nothing more than a front for him to use to keep Team Rocket’s operations going, but somehow he was eager to fight the child who was responsible for ruining his little plot for Silph. He exposed himself as the leader of Team Rocket, no longer hiding the fact and giving up his gym’s cover in the process. Everyone would know that he was not just Giovanni of the Land, but also Giovanni, the leader of Team Rocket and one of the most feared men in Kanto. Of course, he ultimately lost against the trainer after an intense and prolonged battle that brought back all the memories of his past that he had allowed to be buried for so long, and as a result vowed to disband Team Rocket and rethink his position. He pondered whether or not he wanted to keep the team going, or if, just maybe, he had been wrong to use pokemon only for profit. His entire world was now in an upheaval. 

   He vanished from the world’s view for a long time. Giovanni went on a search to rediscover himself.

  For three years, no one heard anything from Team Rocket. But suddenly, they were back, and desperately trying to reclaim their name and call their leader to their side once more. They appeared in Johto, taking over the radio tower there to try and call him out of hiding. Their efforts, however, were useless. Though Giovanni was there, he didn’t appear, and they were stopped without him ever acknowledging them. 

  powers / abilities: None!

  inherent abilities: Nothing remarkable, he is a smart guy but not genius-level. Good marksmanship.

items / weapons:

Key stone (A stone that allows a pokemon to mega evolve if they also have a mega stone matching their species) 

Sync stone (A special stone that allows him to sync with a pokemon he has a deep bond with)

Z-ring (A device that allows a pokemon to use a powerful move known as a Z-move if they are holding a Z-crystal), 

Dynamax Band (A device that allows pokemon to Dynamax and Gigantamax when exposed to compatible power sources)

Portable PC (Allows him to swap pokeballs when needed.)

Rotom Phone  (A phone powered by a Rotom that has a multitude of functions including acting as a pokedex.)

  And uh. The pokemon.

  starting ability: None

starting item: Mewtwo

  extra: None

discord id: PokemonThief#9271

[forever-rogue]

Alright alright ty for responding! I’m super hyped abt this one hehe but here I go:

This is for Frankie Morales, who I love so freaking much ☺️

Okay okay here: A high school reunion where Frankie and Reader meet again after 10 years.

They had such a huge crush on one another and reader was ‘popular’ while Frankie was just shy/nerdy. Maybe they dated but had to separate while they were in college because of the distance but they still have feelings after all these years?

Also reader has learned that Frankie has a kid but didn’t know that his wife divorced him so she’s kind of upset until Frankie tells her (assuming she runs off or something?).

Eventually they start again in their relationship and it’s a fluffy and cute!

I love angst and fluff so since you like writing about those I thought you would be a great person to ask hehe. Anyways I love your works so much and thanks in advance if you write this! ❤️✨

A/N: this is literally just a ton of softness, enjoy! 💕

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: none

FRANKIE MASTERLIST

MASTERLIST

»»————-　♡　————-««

You could hardly believe your eyes as you scanned the room and found the one person you hadn’t been expecting to see. Out of all the people in the world, there was Frankie Morales, across the crowded ballroom, mingling with a few other of your old classmates. It had been two whole decades since you’d last seen him; two decades since you’d last kissed him, last told him you loved him, last held him. Back then you had been positive that you wouldn’t see the last of him. 

You knew he’d gone into the military after high school, greatly deviating from your plans of college, and ultimately causing your break up. You’d never heard a word from him or seen so much as a glimpse of him since the day of your graduation. At first you had been hopeful that you’d see him again sometime at some point, but the time had never come. That had led you to believe that he wouldn’t even be coming here tonight, to your class reunion. You could just picture him saying something along the lines of ‘why? what a silly waste of time!’ Unbeknownst to you, he hadn’t actually planned on coming - not until he’d gotten word through the grapevine that you’d be there. 

The sight of him was enough to take your breath away; he still looked exactly the same after all this time, just older, hardened, and world weary. Much like yourself and everyone else here, you supposed. But when his soft, chocolate eyes met yours, you couldn’t help but grin at him, the corners of your mouth tugging upwards without a second thought. Turning to the group of women you were chatting with, you offered them a half hearted excuse and made your way over to teenage love. Frankie didn’t hesitate to do the same.

Meeting halfway in the middle, you almost crashed into each other, your body practically humming with excited nervous energy as you stared at Frankie - your Frankie. He smiled that same smile you’d fallen in love with all those years ago, his magnificent dimple making its appearance. 

“Frankie-”

“Honey Bee-”

“I can’t believe you’re here,” you both said excitedly, before breaking into a fit of giggles. At least you were on the same page about this one. Part of you had always wondered, even if just a small, tiny part of you, whether he held any disdain or dislike for you after you ended your relationship. It had been hard at the time, you were both lovestruck young fools, but you both knew at the time, even if only deep down, that it was the right thing to do. Maybe it had all happened the way it did for a reason. 

“Do you want to go outside? To the gardens?” he asked softly as you nodded in response. Without a moment of hesitation, he reached for your hand, clutching it tightly, but gently, in his much larger one, lacing your finger together without a second thought. Trailing behind his long strides, you couldn’t help but admire his frame; tall and broad, with just the right amount of softness that somehow remained firm. He’d gone from a good looking teenager to a handsome man. 

Once you were away from all the commotion and outside in the cool evening air in the gardens decorated with lightly twinkling lanterns, he paused and turned to study you. A look of pure adoration was etched into his eyes as his hands found either side of your face and he gently traced over your features. 

“You are just as beautiful today as you always have been,” he beamed at you, “my sweetest Bee. After all these years, I get to see you again.”

“Francisco…”

“May I kiss you?” as soon as his name fell so softly from your lips, he couldn’t help him. It was like he was eighteen again, and falling over, so easily, so effortlessly. You watched with wide, doe eyes, the most innocent expression on your face as you nodded before biting on your lip.

Before either of you could think too much about it, he crashed his lips onto yours and kissed you with a fervent, but gentle intensity. It was like no time had passed and neither of you had to think about it; it all worked so easily. Just like it had always been meant to be.

When you finally, reluctantly, pulled apart, you grinned at each other like fools. You couldn’t help but steal a few more kisses from him. “Frankie...I never thought I’d see you again. I can’t believe you’re here.”

“I wasn’t planning on coming,” he admitted sheepishly, looking down at his feet for a moment, “but I heard you were going to be here, and I had to come.”

“For me?” a flush rose into his cheeks as you beamed at him and offered up a shy nod.

“Of course,” he confessed, “why else? I always hoped I’d see you again one day...I never stopped thinking about you. How horribly cliche is that?”

“Well, even if it is, then I suppose that makes the two of us fools,” putting your hand on his cheek, you traced your thumb over his features, “you’d always cross my mind...a lot. Probably more than I should have…”

“Somethings never change, huh?” he laughed light as he led over to an empty bench surrounded by beautiful evening blossoms. You sat next time, watching with nervous intensity as he held your hand in his, “how’ve you been, Bee? Really? Tell me everything.”

“Only if you promise to do the same.”

“Always.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

And it was easy to talk to him; just like it always had been. In some ways, it was like no time had passed at all. With him you never had to think about what to say, or worry about him passing judgment or anything. It just was...and it was a beautiful thing. An odd longing feeling settled into your stomach the more you listened to him, leaning in closer and closer until you were almost in his lap. In some ways you wondered if it had always been him. Like you were both here again for a reason. You liked the idea that everything happened as it was meant to, as the universe willed it. 

“But then my wife…” as soon as the words hit your ears, you tilted your head to the side and gave him a confused expression. Wife, wife, wife. Holy shit.

Springing to your feet, your mind was reeling as you imagined all the ways in which you had fucked up, but Frankie was fast on his feet and was still right behind you, calling your name as he tried to catch up, reaching for your hand. Of all the things you had imagined, this wasn’t one of them. Eventually you stopped and turned to face with a wide eyed expression, “what do you mean wife? Frankie, I-I still have a lot of the same feelings I always did, but if you have a wife-”

“Bee, please no,” he shook his head fervently, trying to get you to calm down and calm his own racing heart, “no, no, no, I shouldn’t have said it like that - old habits die hard. I meant ex-wife. We’ve been…we’re divorced, and have been for over a year.”

As if to prove his point, he held up his left hand and showed you that he wasn’t wearing a wedding band. His own eyes flitted awkwardly to our own hand, almost as if to check that you weren’t someone else’s either. Instantly you felt foolish and silly, knowing it had been foolish to explode like that. You should have known better; Frankie would never lie to you, “I-I’m an idiot. I’m so sorry, Frankie. I just...I couldn’t handle the thought of you...well doing anything with someone’s married, or you being married to someone still. Needless to say, my own marriage didn’t end well; he cheated on me with multiple women.”

“I would never put you in that position,” he promised softly, “and I would never do that to anyone. Especially not to you, Honey Bee. If...if you’ll have me, however you want, I promise you I will never lie to you. I never have and never will.”

“Promise?” you looked at him with glossy eyes as your lip trembled, but he just nodded and reached for your hand, pulling you closer to him, “Francisco…”

“Of course,” he replied softly, “so full disclosure - I’m a divorced, single dad - very proud dad of the sassiest and sweetest little girl that is my world. I know that’s a lot, on top of everything else I’ve told you, but that’s...that’s what it is. Who I am. I guess it’s probably not what you were expecting...probably a let down.”

“No,” you promised him quickly, with a big, wide grin, “it’s wonderful. You’re wonderful, Frankie. None of those things are a letdown; you’re perfect. We’ve all got our issues - I’m a divorced, single dog mom that’s considered a failure by so many people because I went to college and ended up doing something completely different, and now run a small coffee shop. It’s not exactly lucrative, but I love it.”

“You always wanted a coffee shop,” he remembered; you’d told him about it more times than you could remember when you were just kids, “your dream came true!”

“It’s even better now,” you insisted softly, “because I’m here - with you. I think...I think it’s the only thing I’ve ever really wanted. Seeing you again, after all this time...it’s still you, Frankie.”

“After all this time?”

“Always.”

“Good,” he beamed at you, “I’m glad the feeling’s mutual. Honey Bee...may I kiss you again?”

“Mhmm.”

“And again and again and again?” you laughed at his playfulness, but underneath it all, you could see there was a serious side to all of this. He was looking at you like you had hung all the stars in the glittering night sky, “if you’ll still have me?”

“Always.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

Permanent Taglist: @secretsweetscollectionblog  @sheridans-dynamos  @queenbbarnes  @persephonesnebula   @ah-callie  @blushingwueen  @thisis-theway @rosetophighlander  @rae-gar-targaryen    @hiscyarika  @readsalot73  @huliabitch  @ollyoxenfrees @coffeeandtodd  @beepbeepsephy   @scarlettwitcher  @nerdyknightwritersblog  @choicesarcade  @arrowswithwifi  @everythingaboutnothingstuff  @suckerfor-fanfics  @bestintheparsec @javihoney  @aeryntheofficial  @hail-doodles @engineeredfiction @aeryntheofficial  @asgardianvamp21  @keithseabrook27  @karmezii  @dearspacepirates  @thatsuitlooksgoodonyou  @paintballkid711 @mrpascals @lv7867 @artsymaddie @gooddaykate @rosiefridayrogersunday @heyitmelexie @criminalmind1927 @justanotherblonde23 @coni-martina @thewayofthemandalorian @phoenixhalliwell @lucifer @cosmoschick @kochamcie @linkpk88 @leaiorganas @nikkixostan @haley-the-comet @chibi-yuki @computeringturtle @4ng3lf43 @intu-witch-tion @wondergal2001 @gingerbreadandpaper @willowtheewisp @milkxxkookies @smollpinkgirl @zukoyonce  @boomtownboy @velia27 

[sir-gale]

MHA hcs/bullet points for Valentines Day

(Ft. Midoriya, Todoroki and Bakugou)

Not sure how to describe this, but you know how most of the time we have these characters be gentlemen?

What if we did it to them.

That’s the synopsis. 

Warnings: FLUFF, SLIGHT ANGST, SLIGHT SWEARING

Izuku Midoriya

(a.k.a. Deku)

Izuku has always been a very affectionate person

He always wants to spoil you, he cuddles you, he just wants to do this because he’s just as serious about you two as he is with everything else. He doesn’t want you to feel alone even when he’s busy working hard to achieve his dream.

Being the number one hero would lose its meaning without you by his side after all,

Is honestly just the best boyfriend ever. Top tier.

So you two are out on a ~date~

Let’s be honest you can’t go anywhere without seeing all might merch

Especially now that Valentine’s Day is coming around

he’s being super attentive, connecting, just making you feel loved.

And then you two see an all might merch store

You, knowing this is Dekus favorite place to go for his gear, wanna go in and browse

He’s so hesitant about it because he knows how he is (fanboy and all)

“A-are you sure? I can get really get carried away, todays supposed to be about you!”

You WILL drag him in if you have to

Because seeing him looking around with stars in his eyes makes you happy

Of course, he is now invested in a particular item, and you wander off to do some viewing of your own

<And then you see it>

It’s an all might plushy holding/hugging a heart with the sentence ‘You are plus ultra!’

Oh yes. You were going to get this. You didn’t even look at the price tag.

When I say you SNATCHED this mf-

And sure enough your bby was still in his little happy fanboy space (we’ve all been there)

You buy it.

Cashier was a bit scared. Of you, I mean.

You didn’t take the bag. Just hid the plushie behind you, grabbed izuku by the hood, dragged him out

He was really confused and kind of scared, but seeing your detirmined excited face he calmed down

Before he could say anything you revealed the toy and——

He stood there

Your arms stretched out fully extending it towards him

And he just stared so you went

‘For you’ •^•

He cried.

He bawled.

Literal waterfalls.

He’s already hearing wedding bells.

He’s on cloud nine.

He hugs you so hard for like five minutes squeeling and just.. words of appreciation and love and gratitude

~(I don’t feel the need to make a comment that people were staring at the unveiling seen but just letting you know)~

He carries that plush tight against his chest for the rest of the day, your arms hooked together, no matter how uncomfortable it is to walk shoulder to shoulder like that.

He loves you so much. Thank you for doing this.

Shoto Todoroki

(a.k.a icyhot)

Todoroki has always tried to make up for his cold attitude and overall emotional absence with small things

Whether it be something that he bought, quality time, and other small things that wouldn’t mean much if it were anyone else

But you know. And you really appreciate how much he loves you and shows it.

Only problem is, he’s not sure what he’s doing. He knows that you love him, he knows that he loves you, he just wishes he has the courage to back it up with his words

(Little does he know you’ve been preparing a lil something for valentines day >:))

Whether your a perceptive person or not, after being with him you know how to tell it’s been a hard day for him. 

So when he calls you and asks if you want him to take you out, you say ‘no thanks baby’. He really questioned it

“Are you sure? Valentines day is coming up, we haven’t done much for the occasion..”

Once you reassure him, Todoroki is mildly relieved. He loves you, so so much and your presence makes him feel very good, but he just needs today to himself

that didn’t stop the guilt from pouring in. He didn’t want to be neglectful. The fear of that uncertainty in your relationship, he felt bad for doubting you and him. The entire trip home Shoto is in his own head on what couples ‘should’ be like. What a good boyfriend ‘should’ be.

Even though it was him having the bad day, even though you sounded perfectly chipper over the phone, and he was very much deflated, he was considering some sort of grand gesture or expensive gift.

Walking into the house, completely lost in thought, he almost didn’t notice the smooth white box with a note on it

‘Happy Valentines Day!~ You deserve it :)’ Was written on the sticky note

Shoto, now out of his head, opened up the box. Inside was a folded sweater. Before he read what was on it, he set it aside and read the paper at the bottom. 

‘I designed this myself. I hope you like it. I hope you know how much I love you. You are the only one for me, no matter how cheesy that sounds.’

Small smile returning to Todoroki's face, your handwriting always seemed to bless his eyes. Anything that made him feel that you were there made him forget how inadequate he felt.

He then took the sweater and decided to go to a mirror, only then putting it on.

It was a light cream color, easy on the eyes. It was perfectly baggy on him. The soft small text sown into the front read ‘~you have my heart~’ 

Shoto absolutely adored it. If only someone was there to take a picture because this man was smiling like an idiot

He looked down almost bashfully, and then he realized, that with the fabric pooling on his hands, there was something on the sleeves.

Half of a heart on one sleeve, half on the other

Raising his wrists, having them face upwards and connect, it made one whole heart.

His own heart nearly exploded when he realized

Than he literally had your heart in his hands

He loves you so fucking much. Thank you for making this.

Katsuki Bakugou

(a.k.a Kacchan)

Bakugou KNOWS he is an asshole

He doesn’t deny it.

So at the beginning of the relationship, anxious anger issues boom boom boy had been so scared to hurt you with either his words or his quirk

He either goes overboard with treating you in dates or is completely opposed to touching

Sometimes he juggles in both.

“Hey, get anything you want alright? No! I don’t need your hand!”

Whiplash.

Getting you gifts is his way of feeling good enough for you. It obviously really bothers you but you haven’t figured out the right time to bring it up

One day though, you two decided to stay home and relax. This doesn’t happen often, as Bakugou usually doesn’t think it’s good enough for you, but after a lot of convincing he agreed to stay inside. 

(You wanted to do this because you knew it was a bad day for him. He’s really out of it, making mistakes isn’t his thing)

This is a bit of a tricky situation for Katsuki, he realized he couldn’t just have a girlfriend without touching you no matter how much he tried to avoid it.

Okay but let’s be clear

It was VERY OBVIOUS that he wanted to touch you

It’s like he was trying to deny the fact that you had his eyes and ears, and he always fidgeted around

As if he wasn’t hot and sweaty enough -_-

Cut to him ready on the couch, movies almost on, you come out from the kitchen with two chai masala teas (extra spice in bakugou’s)

He doesn’t really know how to react to it. 

“Thanks.”

He wishes he could sound as grateful as he feels.

And then, suddenly, you get on the couch and pull him into your embrace, his head on your chest. 

“I know today sucks. Let me take care of you this time.”

“I love you Katsuki. I don’t need anymore jewlery. I just need your heart.”

He was damn near tears then. He was too tired to fight back and too emotional over his failures, he laid his head on your lap and for the rest of the night he was calmer than ever.

He loves you so much. Thank you.

[deltaengineering]

Spring Anime 2021: Embarrassment of Riches

So this current anime season absolutely stinks, which just makes the last one look even more impressive. Well, maybe not all of it...

Zombieland Saga Revenge

First off, you don't need to tell me that the following is a severe outlier opinion. We good? Ok. ZLSR is, in a word, subpar. I liked S1 back in the day, but it was already in the process of getting lazy towards the end. S2 continues this trend and is basically just another idol show. And as someone who actually does watch other idol shows I have to say that it's not a particularly good one of those either. The zombie gimmick has mostly stopped mattering and we're just doing what every idol show does, only with the odd occasional sight gag. The alleged subversive qualities mostly amount to a flashback for Yuugiri, which is admittedly the best part of the show but feels like it barely has anything to do with anything. Apart from that, it's a bunch of generic idol plots, rehashed character beats, shoddy attempts at twists (while not connecting to any setups from S1), and the obligatory "idols give us hope" ending, which is terribly hackneyed and flat out bad. Tae gets further memed into the ground, because of course she does. And there's stuff that was simply never good to begin with, like Kotarou and his comedy schtick, which gets truly insufferable now that there's no qualities to distract from it. It really makes me think that S1 wasn't even all that good to begin with and seems like an attempt to turn this surprise success into an easy money longrunner with no edge and no ambitions. "The idol show for people who don't watch idol shows" indeed, but not the way you mean it. 4/10

Bakuten

But not to dwell on the failures, with the second show we're already above the cut — barely. This one got my attention with its really impressive performance scenes early on and it totally sticks to that, which is even more impressive. But besides that? Well, this is by far the most predictable show in a season where I watched an unambitious Kiraralike and put ZLS on blast for having no ideas. The characters are a mixed bag, some are cool (Shida, Asawo), some are very annoying (Mashiro), but those are the supports. The main cast is extremely one-dimensional, which is fine until they try to heap a ton of pathos on their lead, which doesn't go well. But I guess execution matters, and Bakuten is slick enough to get by. Writing this down in stark daylight I feel like I overrated this show somewhat (I actually put it over the next one originally, which definitely doesn't hold up when thinking about it), but I was indeed mostly entertained. 6/10

Yakunara Mug Cup mo

Yeah. Of course Mug Cup definitely doesn't invent or subvert anything either, but it's a pretty good Kiraralike that's always entertaining to watch. Explaining the qualities of such a nothing genre is as difficult as ever, but it mostly comes down to me liking the characters and it having nothing to annoy me. It's shorter than normal, which is a plus for slim shows like this. And yeah, you can make an excessive amount of dick jokes with the clay fondling. That helps too. Looks are just fine, pleasant but nothing out of the ordinary. Comfy low-effort anime. 6/10

Vivy: Fluorite Eye's Song

This one is decent, but sadly still a major letdown. Because the first few episodes of Vivy were excellent and kicked ass, but then it became increasingly clear that the writing can't cash the checks the ideas wrote while the action starts running into severely diminishing returns. Vivy just keeps slowly getting worse and worse as it goes on, not by a huge amount each episode but by the end there's a pretty sizeable gulf between potential and result. Going into detail would probably be a little much for this venue because there's a lot, but from the top level view the issue is that while Vivy has good fundamental ideas and steals at the right places, it just isn't a smart show — it's schlock, and by the end, poorly thought out schlock that tries to smooth out every problem with liberal application of the big feels hammer and le epic twist at that. Yeah, couldn't tell that the Re:Zero dude was aboard here, for sure. That said, it still works pretty well as entertaining schlock that is not to be taken too seriously, and the characters are generally just very fun to watch even when they're doing stupid things. Still, I can't in good conscience rate this higher than Beatless, a show that looks like butt but properly executes on its ideas. 6/10

Super Cub

So this is 100% a Honda commercial, and I got really mad a Yuru Camp last season for being a blatant shill. Yet I'm feeling this, what gives? I think the main difference is that Super Cub is specifically a commercial for one product (and a very iconic product at that), while Yuru Camp is so all over the place that it ends up mostly a commercial for consumerism in general. And when Super Cub goes too hard on the product (which it does), it's at least pretty entertaining. That's something about Super Cub in general: It goes hard. Your regular Kiraralike this is not, because it's uncommonly slow, focused and moody - yes, it almost measures up to Yuru Camp at its best and demolishes it at its worst. Also, it's just extremely amusing to see sadblob Koguma grow a huge grizzly biker beard and become a badass outlaw dad to her goofy wife and cute daughter, all thanks to the power of afforable personal transportation. Needless to say, that can get unintentionally silly, but Super Cub has so much charm that it doesn't matter — it's great when it's good and still funny when it's not. 7/10

Shadows House

Shadows House turned up with a lot of potential, and I have to say it at least delivered on most of it. It has some problems; notably I'm not a fan of how the entire middle turned out to be a tournament arc of sorts that seems curiously inspired by Resident Evil memes, crest-shaped intentations and boulder punching included. I also think that this is a show that would be perfectly fine without explaining much, but I guess it is a shounen manga after all so we got dumped on eventually anyway. At least that came late - close relative Promised Neverland didn't show that much restraint. Shadows House is generally well written though, with great characters, interesting interactions and a great hook. But what really makes it memorable is that it's exceptionally good at the cute/creepy contrast, something that is often tried but rarely works as well as here, with great character designs and very appropriate production. I hope this gets a sequel, because it seems like it's just getting started. 7/10

SSSS.Dynazenon

Coming in with a fondness for Gridman, Dynazenon didn't have to do much to convince me. The surprise though is that it's not a rehash even if it's basically the same show, a character drama where occasionally huge and goofy fights break out. Dynazenon is Gridman done better, and the interesting part is how it accomplishes this - mainly by being far more conventional. I do appreciate that Gridman went for something weird and almost experimental, but that only really paid off towards the end while most of the show was a distraction/holding pattern. It just didn't feel like there was enough material for a full series there, more like a movie maybe, if even that. Dynazenon fixes this by just being a TV show, with an actual cast of characters that each have their own arc. And by spreading the material this way, Dynazenon ends up having a lot more nuance than its intensely focused predecessor, while having the same themes and not actually being any deeper. In a way, Gridman ends up looking like the spinoff in retrospect, while Dynazenon is the full package. 8/10

Thunderbolt Fantasy S3

So how good was this season? So good that Thunderbolt Fantasy doesn't end up at the top, that's how. And all the elements that made Tbolt such a sure thing are still there, big hammy puppets doing stunts and scheming never gets old. However, I do have to note that at this point, the writing appears to have gotten too comfortable. I don't expect it to ever top the amazing S1 ending, but at this point it's like Tbolt has stopped trying to deliver on endings at all and seems in the process of retooling itself into a longrunner instead. Barely anything gets resolved in S3 (the climax is that the climax of S2 is resolved again, for good this time... maybe), and everything else is just setting up plotpoints for the next season. Tbolt is truly lucky that it doesn't actually need to resolve anything to be a great time, but at this point I have to say that I'd appreciate it if they wrapped it up with S4. 8/10

Nomad: Megalobox 2

Speaking of sequels to shows I liked, Nomad doesn't so much improve upon its predecessor but steamrolls right over it. This is a tall order, since Megalobox was surprisingly good for a sports shounen and had a real nice, heartwarming ending that Nomad instantly negates for purposes of drama and everyone being extremely miserable. That sounds like a pretty terrible idea - and it would be, if Nomad wasn't as excellent as it is. To call it not the same show would be an understatement, because it's a true sequel, not just the same characters doing their thing some more, or new characters doing the same thing as the old ones did. Indeed my biggest problem with Megalobox was that it still closely adhered to its genre template and was very predictable; Nomad fixes this issue thoroughly. Nomad is about questioning what being a hotblooded shounen protagonist eventually leads you to, and how to fix everything you screwed up by being one. You could call it a deconstruction, but that term has been so abused for cynical, edgy "thing you like actually sucks" takes that I feel like it doesn't really fit here. Nomad isn't cynical at all, it's just a character drama about some boxers past their prime, and it being a sequel to a show that is indeed rather formulaic just enhances the experience. My biggest issue with it was that I really like what they did with Joe in this story, so the big focus on Mac's backstory felt like a distraction for a long time. But in the end that turned out to be absolutely necessary to make the ending work. The ending's just great, by the way, and I shall say not more about it. 9/10

Odd Taxi

Yeah boy, here's the show that has apparently become somewhat of a "greatest show you didn't watch" meme, which I can feel smug about because I don't need YouTubers to tell me what's good and followed this from day one. Anyway, Odd Taxi is indeed great, the greatest show in a few years even. What starts out as seemingly a relaxed hangout show in the vein of Midnight Diners quickly turns into a psychological murder mystery while never losing its quirky humor. The character writing is outstanding, with even small bit players being on a level that the average anime wishes it could have for leads. And the rollout of the mystery is exemplary, with answers given and new questions raised every episode with a satisfying and logical payoff in the end. This is also the rare anime that has rock solid production from the first to the last second; it's never really flashy but excellently done and highly consistent nonetheless. And the music just owns. I have a few complaints, mainly that there's a few logical weaknesses in the story (which wouldn't even register in a lesser show, but sticks out here since the rest is so immaculately constructed) and that the ending overextends on the emotions when the rest of the show is so reserved and dry in comparison. But those are only the reasons why I didn't give it perfect marks, and I almost did that anyway. 9/10

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #135: Martha (Ruler)

Summer goes by so fast, doesn’t it? Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re making the last of the summer 1 servants, Martha! By the end of this build you too can punch a dragon so hard people on the other side get hurt.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: Mana prism power make up!

Race and Background

Martha’s still a Human, but since this is a variant of her normal build this is also a Variant Human. That gives her +1 Wisdom, +1 Constitution, proficiency in Animal Handling if the Tarrasque gets too uppity, and the Crusher feat. That nets you +1 Strength, and once per turn you can move a large or smaller creature when you hit it with a bludgeoning attack. Also, dealing critical damage with a bludgeoning attack gives advantage to all attack rolls against that creature for a round. We haven’t even hit level one yet and you’re already breaking bones.

Like last time, you’re still an Acolyte, giving you Insight and Religion proficiency. I don’t think I have to explain why those skills are good for Saint Martha.

Ability Scores

Despite everything you’re still a woman of the cloth, so your Wisdom should be as high as possible. Like I said in the opening your punches pack a punch, so Strength is second. Third is Constitution. Your Natural Body means you can shrug off poisons pretty easily. After that is Dexterity, because if you’re going to fight in a bikini you’d better be fast. Your Charisma isn’t great, mostly because we couldn’t make everything an 18, but we’re dumping Intelligence. It’s not like the other summer servants will notice.

Class Levels

1. If you want to punch through a dragon, monk levels are a must. First level monks get Martial Arts, letting you make an unarmed attack as a bonus action after you attack with your main action. There’s monk weapons too, but we’re just here for unarmed attacks. You can also use your dexterity instead of strength for attacks, but we’re not gonna do that. You can also use your martial arts die when you make unarmed damage rolls, and it grows as you level up. You also get Unarmored Defenses, giving you an AC of 10+ your wisdom mod + your dexterity mod to help with the whole “bikini armor” thing.

Finally, you get proficiency in Strength and Dexterity saves, as well as two monk skills. Athletics for a beach body, and History because you’re a servant, so duh.

2. Second level monks get Ki points, a number per short rest equal to your level, that you can spend to dash, disengage, dodge, or attack twice as a bonus action. You also get Unarmored Movement, increasing your walking speed as long as you’re only wearing a swimsuit. If the other players ask, it’s absolutely necessary.

3. Third level monks seek out a monastic tradition, and we’re going for a real throwback this time- the Way of Tranquility will give us all the holy power we need, and eventually, fists strong enough to tame a dragon. When you set down the Path of Tranquility you can cast Sanctuary on yourself for free once per minute. Any creature that tries to attack you must first make a wisdom save (dc 8+your wisdom modifier + proficiency) or redirect the attack. The effect still ends if you make an attack, but creatures that break through the effect are immune for an hour. 

You also get Healing Hands, giving you the same effects as a paladin’s Lay on Hands, but you get 10 times your level in healable HP each long rest. You can also replace a flurry of blows attack with this feature when you use it. Slap your party back to life!

You can also Deflect Missiles, reacting to incoming arrows and the like to reduce the damage you take. If you reduce it to zero, you can also spend a ki point to throw it back as a part of the same reaction!

4. Fourth level monks can Slow Fall, spending a reaction to reduce damage taken from falling. You also get your first Ability Score Improvement, bumping up your Wisdom for a higher AC and stronger Sanctuary.

5. Fifth level monks get an Extra Attack each attack action, and can turn their attacks into Stunning Strikes by spending ki, forcing the creature they hit to make a constitution save or be stunned for a round.

6.  Sixth level monks have magical hands thanks to their Ki-empowered Strikes, letting them get around resistances. Tranquility monks also become an Emissary of Peace, giving you advantage on charisma checks to calm down people, as long as they aren’t deception or intimidation checks. You also get proficiency in the persuasion skill.

7.  Your Evasion supercharges your dexterity saves, meaning you take half damage on failures and no damage on successes. If you’re going to tame a dragon you’d better get good at dealing with fire breath. Your Stillness of Mind also lets you end charms or frightening effects on yourself as an action. Honestly, you’re kind of the one who does the frightening around here.

8. Use this ASI to bump up your Strength for stronger and more accurate attacks. Now we’re talking.

9. Your Unarmored Movement Improvement lets you run on water and up walls, as long as your turn ends on solid ground. Perfect for those long walks on the beach.

10. Your Purity of Body makes you immune to disease and poison. Ki manipulation is really similar to being a cleric, now that we’re looking at it. Ah well, just makes it that much easier to reflavor it.

11. Eleventh level tranquility monks can Douse the Flames of War, using your action to force a wisdom save on a creature you touch. It automatically doesn’t work if the creature’s missing any HP, but if it does work it can’t deal damage or force saves for a minute, or until it’s attacked, takes damage, makes a saving throw, or sees its allies do any of the above.

12. Use this ASI to grab the Tough feat for a free 24 HP, plus two extra every time you level up. If you’re going to brawl, you’d better be ready to take some hits. For the lord, of course.

13. The Tongue of the Sun and Moon means that you now effectively speak and understand every spoken language. I mean, yeah, I guess that is technically a power Jesus gave to people, so it kinda fits. It also means you don’t have to wait for the translations Type Moon is never going to do on most of their work, so I envy you.

14. Your Diamond Soul gives you proficiency in all saving throws, and you can spend a ki point to re-roll a failed save. Pretty easy to reflavor that as god’s favor tbh.

15. Your Timeless Body now suffers no negative effects of old age (not that there’s any to begin with RAW) and you can’t be aged magically. Honestly that’s a really good thing considering we’re still sticking to the bikini.

Also you no longer need food or water, save it for your guests.

16. Use this ASI for more Strength, so you can punch even harder and nothing else. Stronks are always valid. You also get one point of Dexterity for... later.

17. If you’ve read this far, you’re probably thinking, “Fateandphantasms you dolt! You forgot to make this build super good at punching!” Hahaha, wrong. The final ability tranquility monks get is the Anger of a Gentle Soul. If you see a creature take someone else down to 0 HP, you can use your reaction to gain a damage bonus against them until the end of your next turn. That damage bonus is equal to your monk level. You can use this once per short rest.

18. Now that you can finally punch a hole through a Tarrasque, it’s time to diversify. As a Fighter, you get a Fighting Style: The Mariner fighting style gives you +1 to your AC, and you get a climbing and swimming speed, the perfect fit for a deserted island.

You also get a Second Wind, healing yourself as a bonus action, but honestly your healing hands are probably better.

19. Second level fighters get most of the reason we came here, Action Surge! Tack an extra action onto your turn for extra punching!

20. If you really want to powergame I’d suggest taking echo knight here for the extra attacks, but we’re sticking to character here, so go the way of the Champion for Improved Criticals. Now you deal critical hits on 19s and 20s!

Pros:

There’s a reason this UA isn’t really used any more. Adding a +17 modifier to your attack damage for a round means you can do ridiculous amounts of damage in a very short time. Toss in that action surge and a flurry of blows and you’re dealing 6d10+126 damage. That can ko a couple of builds on this account before we even start rolling!

Having proficiency on every save, nearly permanent Indomitable, and near permanent Sanctuary means you can just kind of ignore enemies if you don’t feel like fighting them. That doesn’t even get into the fact that you can shut them down on a save too.

You have more healing than a paladin, and you can move 110 feet in a round to administer that healing. If someone goes down, you can probably be there to help them back up. Or just kill whoever did it, either or.

Cons:

As a stronk, your AC isn’t amazing. It’s not even that bad, but when you’re a frontline fighter who can explode without warning you’re doing to bring a lot of attention on yourself, and that bikini isn’t going to help you here.

Playing to character means you’re only using your fists, which have a range of five feet. Flyers are going to be an issue, as are any monks who stuck it out until at least level 18.

A lot of this build is dependent on really old UA, so odds are most DMs aren’t going to let it slide for your average game. Ah well, Summer’s almost over anyway.

[shes-an-oddbird]

A Very long list of Season 5 Predictions/Wish List

I tried to hit as many of the characters as possible so this is really really long

The trickiest thing about this show seems to be the ever growing cast creating several stories at once and the fact that it’s a show about first responders so even characters that don’t seem like they would follow that career choice end up there and those that don’t sometimes feel out of place.

This is not to say that I don’t LOVE AND ADORE FIREFIGHTER ALBERT HAN! (but really kind of thought it came out of nowhere and yet I’m not surprised because what else were they going to do with him?)

It seems unlikely they’d assign Albert to the 118 unless Bobby requests him like he did with Eddie, but I think Bobby might have some hesitations about that. They’re already as close as family and sometimes make dangerous decisions because of it. He might feel its better for Albert to be with a different fire house or maybe Chimney would.

But he’s a regular so putting him with the 118 would be the best way to give him screen time

I personally think he’ll be assigned to the 133 since we’ve seen a bit of them this season. I’d love if there was a fun rivalry between the two firehouses (whichever one Albert ends up at.) I’ve said it before that the 118 is probably notorious at this point for the weird situations they get into. The teasing and the taunting would just be so much fun to watch. Albert talking to Chim or Buck and just being like, so the guys told me about this time…

Actually can we take a moment to appreciate that the 118 got ANOTHER firetruck destroyed and this one wasn’t even theirs. The 133 spends FIVE MINUTES with Buck and Eddie and their truck is in shambles.

On a more serious note, we might meet Chimney and Albert’s dad. I’m thinking he’s not going to be thrilled about his youngest joining the fire department and show up to talk some sense into him and scold Chimney for letting him do it.

I’m so confused about how much time has passed? How long does it take to become a firefighter? They must have some sort of plan for him because cutting out him going through training seems like a lost opportunity. It’s a story we haven’t really seen through anything but montages. Is it difficult? Would he try to quit? I’d have liked to see him making the decision in the first place.

putting the rest under here because its really a lot

We’ll also miss Eddie recovering (and Bobby too actually), which I’m a little bummed about but not devastated. It sounds like we won’t see much in the way of the effects of either shooting but can’t do anything about that now unless they flash back and have them work towards that moment on the roof.

My biggest concern with the time jump is missing literally any of Maddie’s story. I don’t know much about PPD or if its called recovery or overcoming it but I do want to see Maddie work through that and Chimney and the others supporting her.

I think her leaving the dispatch center will be temporary but it may take half or all of next season for her to return.

Maybe she’ll take over for May, if she does go off to school

Or May might continue working at Dispatch and going to school.

If she doesn’t go to school Athena is not going to be very happy with her. But maybe we could get Maddie and Josh being big siblings to May which is an underappreciated dynamic. Maybe it will help Maddie cope with how useless she’s feeling with Jee.

I’ll need to rewatch to see if they say what May wants to do but maybe she’ll study journalism or something that will keep her in the loop of the main characters the way it does Taylor.

And speaking of Taylor, she is actually a very interesting character, whether you like her (morally) or not. I think we’ll see more of her in season 5 and I genuinely think she’ll fall hard for Buck. And I think everyone needs to chill about how it’ll destroy her character.  We’ve already established that Taylor is like the female version of Buck (with a bit more sense maybe but a mirror if him non the less). If Buck is allowed to grow and want an actual relationship, is anyone really surprised they’d have Taylor go through that too.

She’s just a few steps behind, like he’s in relationship phase and she’s just coming to terms with her own feelings for him

My big concern, since they like to break Buck’s poor little heart, is that she’ll leave. She’ll get a job opportunity and pick it over Buck. I think it would be a hard decision for her but in character. Or maybe they’ll surprise us and make Buck and Taylor endgame (I know a lot of people don’t want to hear that but I could see it happening that way)

On the flip side I don’t know what’s going to happen with Eddie and Ana. I know she’s pretty much hated but its super unclear what the plan is other than that they’ll eventually break up per what Carla implied. I suspect they’ll be together for a bit of season five until Eddie figures out what’s up with what his heart wants. I don’t think Ana is some awful witch so the break up will probably be mutual or at the very least Ana won’t be surprised.

But hopefully we get more than just that as far as Eddie goes. The episodes we do get that are focused on him are really some of my favorites. They are wrapping up his moving on from Shannon arc which is cool. The trying to be a good father to Christopher will always be there, that’s something that will never change and always be a growing/learning experience.

I’d love to meet one or both of Eddie’s sisters. They don’t have to stick around long term like Albert did but to have them pop up with some crisis would be interesting and we could learn more about Eddie and the dynamic with his family which seems loving but strained.

Maybe we will see Eddie working more with Hen too. I was wondering if they’d make Eddie a full paramedic to take over for her eventually, which I decided they probably won’t do. But one episode of Buck distressed over the fact that he and Eddie wouldn’t be partners anymore would be fun drama.

The two really are just at a loss without each other and I love that. They get so pouty when they’re apart.

I don’t know what other plans they might have for Buck next season. I suspect we’ll see him worrying over Maddie and I’d kill to see him watching Jee-Yun.

I don’t know how old she’ll be because of the time jump but can you imagine Buck watching the baby and it just being an absolute disaster. So he starts calling everyone in a panic and we get firefam taking care of Baby Jee, maybe while Chim and Maddie are at a therapy session or just a weekend away for themselves.

I’m convinced the Baby would love Eddie. I think its just me projecting my desire for Eddie and Maddie to interact more. But like Hen teasing him because of course the baby loves him, all the girls love Eddie, he’s got the pretty face. Buck being super jealous that Jee likes him more. Eddie being genuinely surprised because he felt like such a failure when Chris was a baby. 

Denny, Harry and Christopher are all getting older too so there has got to be a story there with at least one, if not all of them. Harry was sidelined this season but I love that kid, he is the spawn of Athena and Michael and we already know he’s a little trouble maker. Match that with Christopher who is sassy and too smart for his own good and Denny who is clearly the good kid of the bunch. I don’t know, it’s another lost opportunity if they don’t do something with that.

They could assign Karen and Hen an older foster kid who’s maybe not such a good influence at first. Unless they opt for just younger ones, I’m not really sure how that works. But they could get one that’s not as easy as nia and they have to work for that bond.

Might be they adopt them at the end

I hope we see more of Hen’s mom and med school friends but not like a crazy amount. The cast is already too big but I love them so an occasional appearance would be welcome.

I love David and Michael too but they always seem like the hardest to work in because, as stated, they are not first responders. David is a doctor though so maybe we’ll see some interaction with him and Hen. And all the Bobby and Michael content is welcome.

I NEED A WEDDING NEXT SEASON! Just pick a pair and marry them please!!! Maddie and Chimney!!! Michael and David!!! Someone, please! Even just a proposal?! Maybe? Please?

And there will be another crossover event which is exciting because I really enjoyed the first one. I wonder if they’ll come to LA this time and what would bring them there. With the scheduling of the shows next season they won’t have to tie them together so much time frame wise. They literally could just be popping in for a visit. I’m not gonna lie when I thought about another crossover I really wanted Bobby the self-taught chef to meet Charles the actual chef but now I can’t have that and it makes me so sad.

Putting all this out there is a really good way to insure it never happens, but still, they seem like logical places to go as of the finale.

[zodiactalks]

Love Life with Leo Woman & 5 Brutal Truths

Leo women are known for their charm, their animal magnetism, their ability to stand-out no matter what, and their goal-oriented personalities.

They're also known for being stubborn to the point of stupidity, for thinking very highly of themselves and for needing heaps and heaps of personal space, followed by lots of time for themselves.

They're enigmatic, they're self-assured, they're a force to be reckoned and, above else, they're incredibly easy to fall in love with.

After all, who can resist a woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid of doing what she needs to do to get it?

If you're in love with a Leo woman, you're in for a treat, but to survive the experience, you need to know the following brutal truths.

#1. They're stupidly stubborn.

While they might call it determined, the truth is that Leo women are simply stubborn.

What's the difference, you ask? It's actually quite simple.

A determined woman will do anything she needs to do to achieve her goals, while a stubborn woman will try her best to prove you wrong, even if you're in the right, and she ends up looking like a fool.

Leo women are both.

They're determined when it comes to their professional life, their family life, and their goals. They're hard workers, they're patient, they're go-getters, and they're capable of achieving truly amazing things, but they're also stubborn.

Leo women can choose absurdly petty hills to die on out of sheer stubbornness. They're capable of undoing hours of hard work because it didn't go as they wanted it to, and they're capable of acting against their own best interests just to prove a point.

Do you know that phrase that goes "Cut the nose to spite the face"? That's Leo women at their worse.

The best way to deal with this?

Just let them be.

We don't mean roll over and accept you're wrong even if you're right. That's not going to help anyone; no, we mean 'recognize that she'll be on the defensive and act accordingly.'

When arguing with her, avoid calling her names or making argument about her. Simply state your point as impersonally and calmly as possible.

Once they calm down, they'll listen, but the more you push them, the more they'll push back.

#2. They're ego-maniacs

There's no nice way of putting it. Leo women think way too highly of themselves.

To be fair, there's plenty to admire about them. Leos are naturally charming, have impeccable taste, and are incredibly committed to their goals, which means they're often successful at what they want to achieve.

However, they're prone to obsessing over their good traits and overlooking the bad, resulting in the kind of woman who thinks she can do no wrong.

Leos can, and do, react poorly to criticism, which they often interpret as personal attacks rather than the advice it sometimes is.

Their desire to be admired and praised can also lead them to be unnecessarily competitive and showy, always on the look-out for opportunities to show off their skills and their smarts.

Leo women's ego can also lead them to believe their own hype, resulting in an individual that isn't aware of their failures or misjudges their skills and abilities. Not a crime by any stretch of the imagination, but a trait that will rear its head over and over again in a relationship with a Leo.

Suffice it to say, if a Leo claims to be an expert at anything, take it with a grain of salt. The reality, and their perception, aren't always the same.

#3. They love to annoy.

We mean this in the most loving way possible.

Leos love to mess with people, teasing, pranking, and joking around as a way to show they care. Though not their most well-known trait, Leos are huge jokers, and they're often looking for ways to make other people laugh.

It's not hard to believe, really. Leos love to be liked and desire being the center of attention, and what better way to charm people than by making them laugh?

The thing about Leo women, though, is that their humor often derives from making fun of others. We don't mean that they like to mock others or bully people to get their kicks.

No, Leo prefers joking around their friends and families, but they often choose to do it by teasing them or making small, personal jabs in the name of good fun.

If you have a thick skin and enjoy sarcastic, even black humor, chances are you'll get along with them wonderfully. If you don't, then you'll want to talk about that with your Leo lover. Otherwise, she'll probably make fun of you in a way you won't like.

#4. They have no time for nonsense.

Some women are perfectly fine with tenderly helping others when they're having trouble; some women are more than okay with people who put their feelings first; some women believe that participation alone is enough of a reason to feel proud and happy.

Leo women believe precisely none of that.

Leo women are strong, sharp, stubborn, self-assured, and both willing and capable of eating the world whole. They have no time or patience for people who second-guess themselves, for those who aren't willing to go after what they want or for those who give up easily.

What's more, Leo women aren't care-takers.

Oh, they'll try to help you, and they'll always be pushing you to excel yourself and your own expectations, but sooner rather than later, they'll pull away and expect you to do things yourself, regardless if you're ready or not.

Because of this, Leo women can't tolerate clingy, insecure partners. They don't want to be with someone who needs to be continuously reassured, nor they want to share their life with someone who will expect them to take every big choice in the relationship.

Leo women want to date an equal, and if you want to be their equal, you have pretty big shoes to fill.

#5. They're super affectionate.

Leo women may be independent and may need their space. They may pursue their goals relentlessly and may sometimes appear distant and aloof.

However, Leo women care profoundly and love intensely, and that applies to family, friends, and lovers alike.

They're protective, playful, loyal, fun, and, more than anything else, motivating. They'll continuously try to improve the lives of their loved ones, either by pushing them to improve themselves or by taking things into their own hands.

Though they may appear self-centered, Leos are always aware of the people they love and those who have helped them. They give back, happily and generously, whenever they can, and though they may not check on their loved ones daily, they sure as hell think about them.

It may not be evident at first, but one of the biggest motivators for Leo's thirst for success is to provide for their family and their loved ones. Success for success's sake is rarely something that appeals to Leos; No, they want to be the best, so that they can ensure the people they care about are happy and well cared for.

Acts of services may not be every Leo woman's love language, but they tend to be up there amongst the most popular.

[dweetwise]

Jeff ADOPTING THE LEGION! Like the glitch of 4 killers spawning and 1 survivor. The legion gets to have races and be stupid(er) for a match. Frank shows off how to totally do a gen!

[anon gets it. this was super fun to write, hope you enjoy!]

just legion being brats and jeff being a dad. some references to this ask!

Jeff babysits the Legion: ficlet

Jeff is in the middle of rolling up some bandages for his med-kit, waiting for the others to arrive at the pre-trial campfire. When the familiar smoky tendrils start creeping up his legs, he looks around with a frown on his face; nope, still just him. He’s reminded of the last time the Entity decided to start a trial with less than four survivors, and he groans in annoyance, hoping he doesn’t have to put up with three grizzlys this time.

When Jeff opens his eyes, he’s in the middle of Mt. Ormond's snowy grounds and predictably, he’s alone; not the most promising start. He reluctantly makes his way to the lodge, keeping a lookout for angry bears. With no heartbeat in earshot, Jeff crouches by the generator and gets to work, but as soon as the first piston starts moving, he realizes he has company.

“Well, well, well, look what we have here!” one of the Legion, he thinks Julie, sneers at him from the second floor, leaning cockily against the railing. “Man oh man, you came to the wrooong place,” a man in a skull mask comes up beside her, spinning his knife in a threatening manner. That must be Joey. “We’re gonna gut you like a pig,” Julie says, spitting out the word as she starts making her way down the stairs, sliding down the banister like an unruly child.

Jeff sighs and gets up on his feet. One of the Legion brats he can deal with, but two? Better to just get this over with.

“How are you both here?” Jeff asks, undisturbed by Julie getting right up in his face. “Not a very fair match, if you ask me.” “'Both’? You don’t know the half of it,” Joey snickers, probably sharing a knowing look with Julie; it’s hard to tell with the masks. Jeff is about to ask him to elaborate, when a sharp pain flares up his shoulder. “Oops, sorry!” a third member of the Legion--Susie, the one with braces, says from behind him, retracting the knife from his shoulder. “What’s a little stabby-stab between old friends, huh?” “I preferred when you paid me with beer, not stabs,” Jeff grits out through the pain, glancing at the faded mural he made for the group’s hangout what feels like a lifetime ago. “Ooh, he’s funny!” Julie mocks, gripping her knife better. “Don’t worry, you’ll scream soon enough,” she says, raising her hand. “That’s enough,” a familiar voice interrupts them and Julie lowers her hand without hesitation. Jeff sees Frank walk down the stairs with an annoying cocky swagger, Joey not far behind him. “How nice of you to intervene,” Jeff says to the group’s leader, trying to tone down his sarcasm. 

He’s always thought the Legion kids were nice enough on their own, becoming sort of an annoying hive mind when together, but Frank is by far the worst offender, turning into an insufferable asshole when he is with his little gang.

“Fatty,” Frank acknowledges him, making Julie snort. Jeff rolls his eyes at the juvenile humor. “Dude, what are you doing?” Joey questions. “Just kill him.” “One,” Frank begins, lifting his index finger. “This one’s the least dipshit survivor--not that that’s saying much. Two, as long as he’s alive, we can keep hanging out in the trial. And three--” Frank surges towards Joey, slamming him against a pillar and holding his knife against the other’s throat. “Don’t you dare fucking question me again or I’ll throw you on a hook and leave you to rot.”

Joey holds up his arms in surrender and Frank eventually lowers the knife, still leaning over the other teen menacingly. The air is tense with the threat of violence, and even Julie shifts awkwardly on her feet.

“Oooh!” Susie suddenly exclaims. “Was he the one who helped you when you were a baby survivor?” she asks cheerily, pointing at Jeff and innocently cocking her head.

As Frank sputters something unintelligible, clearly embarrassed, and Julie and Joey snicker to themselves, Jeff feels the tension fade and he can’t help but let out an amused huff of his own.

“I saved him! From a--from a fucking bear!” Frank eventually manages to stammer out. Jeff just smiles knowingly, and feels Frank’s stare digging holes into him as if daring him to bring up the events of their last trial together.

As it turns out, the Legion aren’t too bothered by keeping Jeff around so they can stay in the trial to fuck around. At first, they have a race along the long wall of the cabin, with Joey winning each one, until Jeff comes up with an idea.

“Why don’t I throw down some pallets and mark a couple windows, make an obstacle course for you guys?” “That sounds like fun!” Susie beams, bouncing on her feet and clapping her hands in excitement. “Whatever, I’ll still kick all your asses!” Joey boasts.

Jeff throws together a makeshift obstacle track around the shack side of the map, before giving a countdown to the bunch of unusually focused teens standing in a neat row. On his command, they take off in a frenzy, sprinting to the first window. It takes approximately five seconds for the fighting to start.

“You’re blocking me, asshole!” “Frank broke the pallet!” “Cheater!” “JUUDGE!!” Julie’s annoyed whine has Jeff make his way over to the commotion. He sees Frank on the ground, laughing hysterically while Susie is on top of him and is slapping him with his own mask, with Joey standing next to them, sulking. Julie turns to Jeff and angrily points at the remains of a pallet and Frank’s iridescent button on his jacket. “Frank, you’re disqualified,” Jeff says. “It was just a prank, bro!” Frank laughs while shielding himself from Susie’s wrath.

The three remaining Legion members redo the race, with Julie winning by a landslide. She’s in the middle of boasting to an annoyed Joey, when Frank’s face, now maskless, lights up.

“Bet you guys don’t know how to repair a gen!” “Uhh, yeah, ‘cause we’re not a bunch of pussy survivors?” Joey says, not eager at the idea. “I think someone’s scared of losing. Again,” Frank eggs on. “Oh you’re on.”

Jeff ends up teaching the other three how to repair the machine while Frank just shows off and gives obnoxious comments at the others’ failures. Surprisingly, Susie eventually comes out on top, seeming to be the best mechanic out of the four.

“How are you so good at this?” Julie asks, zapping herself on the wires again. “It’s like a puzzle! Super easy!” Susie beams. “Yeah?? Well try to do it when a bear is on its way to eat you!” Frank argues, clearly annoyed at having been bested.

When the group leaves the generator, the four teens stop dead in their tracks and turn to look at something between two rocks. Jeff hears the familiar sound of echoing winds before he sees the hatch. Huh, he hadn’t even considered the fact it would have been open from the very start of the trial, seeing as he’s the only survivor. He could jump in right now and leave, or one of the killers could kick it shut, starting the two-minute endgame timer. Either way, the Legion’s time together (and his time with them, he reluctantly admits) would be cut short.

“You guys want to make a bonfire?” Jeff suggests, pretending not to notice the collective relief in the kids’ postures at his suggestion. “I doubt the hatch is going anywhere for a while.” “I saw some marshmallows in the lodge!” Susie exclaims.

Frank gathers some rubble for the fire, while Joey helps Jeff carry two couches up on a small hill and Susie and Julie find some marshmallows and blankets in the lodge.

“This is nice,” Susie says later, huddled up in a blanket, sitting between Joey and Jeff and looking up dreamily at the starry sky, fire crackling in front of her with four discarded masks next to it. “These taste like shit and the stars are fake as fuck,” Frank says, spitting out the roasted marshmallow and leaning back on the couch in annoyance. “Well, it’s the nicest we’ve had since we got here,” Susie says quietly, nibbling on her own marshmallow and pulling the blanket tighter around herself. “Susie’s right, lighten up,” Julie says, seemingly elbowing Frank under their shared blanket. “It’s been a fun day.” “Yeah, uh. Thanks, man,” Joey mumbles, and it takes Jeff a second to realize the man is addressing him. “Yess! Thanks for this awesome day Jeff!” Susie says, smile back on her face and actually leaning over to give Jeff a cute half-hug. “And, uh... sorry for stabbing you.” “Nothing a few bandages couldn’t fix,” Jeff says and gives the girl an encouraging pat on her back. “Feel free to come hang out whenever,” Julie says. “Yeah, Frank was right. You’re pretty cool,” Joey says. “I never said that!” Frank, predictably, denies. “But. You know. What she said. About hanging out,” he mutters, awkwardly looking away and gesturing at Julie. “Sure. This has been a nice change of pace. Maybe next time we can spray paint more of the lodge,” Jeff suggests with a small smile. “That would be so cool!” Susie beams. “You do realize we’re still gonna kill you in trials though?” Joey points out. “I wouldn’t expect any less.”

When Jeff finally, and a little reluctantly, makes his way out through the hatch, he finds an obscene amount of bloodpoints waiting for him outside of the trial. There’s also a note, with messy symbols scrawled in an unintelligible language that he can inexplicably read--ah, a note from the Entity. He barks out a hearty laugh as he makes out the contents of the note: “Babysitting bonus: +100 000 BP”.

[mc-critical]

Okay, but on the topic of odd story lines for Mahidevran...what did you make of her spending when head of the harem? I could get it to a certain extent because, of course, after being so overlooked she'd want to shower both her and her son in what was once theirs, but it was also a trait that had just been shown before and seemed super confusing as a result.

I think it made both narrative and thematic sense for the state Mahidevran was in and for the character arc she had to undergo.

It's kinda ironic, because if this were two and a half years ago, I would've ranted for the exact same thing - this arc had interesting stuff that either never had the chance to come up before, either came earlier just in very small doses, like Mahidevran's spending, Gülfem all of the sudden standing on her feet and starting to demand the respect she deserves and Hürrem being a harder version of her over the top self in S03 and placing in action such luxuriously well thought out, even contradictory (in terms of Valide) schemes that she never had before and didn't ever again since then; it looks as if these things were created or upped to eleven, specifically for this portion of the series, where they could just fill their purpose and never come back again. I had a problem with this, because what came out of it seemed to only be the hardening of characters just for the sake of convenience and the plot taking a far more bizarre and ruthless turn than everything the show had ever put out by this point, just for an arc, no less.

However, upon analyzing and rewatching, I came to appreciate everything this arc did, honestly, writing-wise it's such a delight. I feel this is the batch of episodes where the show took most risks in terms of the status quo, did interesting decisions, to say the least, and while doing so, it served the purpose of both lending a conflict for the season finale to fit its dramatic twisty soap opera needs, and presenting coherence for the theme and character development of the season - every plot thread that was built up finally paid off and Mahidevran ruling the harem, together with Gülfem, was shown as the last straw of the traditions Hürrem had to break or in this case, fight with, throughout the season, a chance was presented for her to get rid of all her enemies with their own failings and clear her way of the disadvantagous traditions for one last time. (as presented by her last encounter with Valide, which thematically and conveniently forgot everything that happened between them post-E55 and rather focused on being the last straw for Valide, symbolically burning the bridges between Hürrem and the rules Valide was a collective character for, forever.)

Mahidevran spending and wasting so much money on all these material and esthetic expenses makes sense, precisely because of the narrative purpose of Mahidevran ruling the harem - it was supposed to be the peak of that long and then ever going S02B arc of her reveling in power, the power that her status as a mother of the grown Mustafa, gives her. When she got exactly what she wanted, even the smallest, inevitable (because of the weird laws in-show, of course) grasp, the very thing she craved ever since she went back from Edirne and the very thing she capitalized on in episode 55 and then claimed as a mistake three episodes later, she took it for granted, as an obvious, easy win. She began to truly act as the Valide of the Palace, but not with the responsibility of it, rather with the wrong power that comes from it. She thought she was unstoppable, that she could do whatever she wanted and noone would stop her, because she rules over them now and if someone tries, so what, she has Ibrahim to count on! And Mahidevran wanted to demonstrate this (temporary) superiority aesthetic-wise, as well, putting herself (and Mustafa) in center stage, buying him so many kaftans for the sanjack; making the whole harem and castle in her image, for she bought golden plates and wanted to build her own hammam (as far as I recall?); perhaps wanting to be noticed for the changes she had made, because it is her time now and she could freely drown in her own desire for revenge and apply her own prejudices, regardless. (with her bying many dresses for the concubines in the harem that weren't in any way associated with Hürrem.)

[And while this is more of a theory of mine than it is an interpretation, I think that all the fancy dresses and crowns she put on during this period, were also quite a part of this spending and as such, even though it wasn't shown as explicitly before, it represents even more the very critical peak of her own descent into the ego-inflated abyss. She has always cared about her appearance, with the many scenes of her looking herself in the mirror and putting jewelry on, claiming to Mustafa that Topkapı is encrusted in diamonds in E01 etc. and these episodes upped it to eleven and put it to its logical extreme, Mahidevran is now above them all, so she might as well show it with all the dresses and crowns. (we even have Hürrem mocking her for it once in a scene in the hammam during the Isabella arc, then in E62 for why she cares so much when she sleeps alone in her bed and that one, despite of the outdated implication since she no longer loves SS, really hits home how pettily low Mahidevran has sunk.) ]

We should also keep in mind that her entire S02B arc was a series of failures. And the ruling of the harem, as the last stop, should show her fail terribly and hard, and the writers picked the spending to do the job. On one hand, I get why it seems odd to you, as well because E55 made her fall much bigger and scarier, there she was absolutely terrifying, with all the things she could and would do, they mattered much more. And the whole ruling the harem fiasco and the spending only look like a contrast, as a result, because.. she's spending the country's money, yes, but she's spending it due to her wounded pride and out of sheer pettiness, to toot her own horn, to make it clear to everyone out there, but especially to Hürrem, that she's won and they've lost. It all looks like more as a an outward addition of what E55 presented us, more of an downgrade than an upgrade. Instead of making her do something even more dangerous on a massive scale, we have her ego dominate everything on such a trivial way where she can't do as much damage. But on the other hand, the spending is a result of all of Mahidevran's character flaws empowering themselves in this arc, that render her to do stupid or unnecessary ruthless things and carelessly spend all this money, that she let herself be deceived by Iskender Celebi and Hürrem take the advantage.

It was, in a way, very psychological, to fulfill all of her missing needs and probably let her feel worth something. And it truly was presented as her biggest failing that, even if it wasn't as serious and crucial as E55 and it certainly was unexpected and bizarre, since it escalated very quickly, it was a logical last step and in general, I'm satisfied.

[seeds-and-sins]

F**kin' Diabolical (Chapter One)

Master List

Pairing: Homelander / Original Female Character, Billy Butcher / Original Female Character

Rating: M (Strong language, sexual themes)

Decription: Carly Danvers is a reporter/radio show host/annoying little piece of- For reasons unknown to Vought, she decided to start a one man investigation on Vought's operation. Her efforts had been quite successful so far, so much so that Stillwell would have done anything to see the young girl dead. Turns out Stillwell didn't have to do anything at all, while one piece of evidence against Vought causes Danvers to fly too close to the sun. And Homelander flies after her.

Notes: Carly Danvers is basically a play on Kara Danvers, A.K.A. Supergirl. Except my own take on it.

The hard part wasn't getting in, any idiot would know that, the hard part was getting out. For as fortified as the building was, she didn't really need much to bypass the security. They were used to pretty girls strutting themselves into the building, either for the Deep, or for an expo. Which these reasons often explained such an occurrence, and in this case, an expo was scheduled for the next three hours, a gala afterwards, pretty girls were in high demand for these events.

Her taking a walk through the main lobby of the building didn't go unnoticed, but it was long ignored after she 'accidentally' stumbled into the nearest security guard, mumbling something about the bathroom. With her head down she entered a small crowd of businessmen and women, making their way into the elevator. She would soon get off on a different floor, nobody would ask questions as they moved higher up the building's ladder. Corporate on top, Heroes on top, lobby on the bottom, events and offices all in between; marketing, studios, etc.

Of course, she was the last to exit. Stillwell's office was on the top floor, along with the board room, the helipad and the apartment style living quarters for the Seven. Carly wasn't by any means nervous, she had infiltrated Vought before and her failures didn't deter her from doing so. Her one drive, that Vought was a bunch of liars, that the Seven were as corrupt as anybody could be. She despised that they were lauded, hated that they got away with crimes normal individuals would otherwise not get away with. Supes had issues. She, as a reporter, wanted everyone to know. For years she had been slithering her way around Vought, capturing evidence, posting it online, getting eye witness testimonies, publishing it. She had grown a small base around the facts, that Vought wasn't all that great, but it wasn't enough. It was never enough. Her biggest accomplishment was just around the corner, a surprise interview with Madelyn Stillwell herself, a chance to finally get the answers she wanted.

She snuck her way out of the elevator as proud of herself as ever for making it this far, usually she was ransacked on her way through the double doors of the tower. She smugly made her way down the hall, taking glances at the obnoxious photo shots of the Seven hung up on the wall. She was so close too, if only she had been more vigilant. Even being vigilant though wouldn't have aided her mission.

Within seconds she was being slammed harshly up against the wall, a hand at her throat was all it really took. She kept herself calm, and unafraid, knowing that if she moved wrong the man before her could crack her neck with his pinky alone. His grin pierced her soul, and she soon returned it with her own grin, which only suited to make the Homelander more intrigued. His hands fell flat against the wall, on either side of her, barring her in with those thick sheets of muscle and superhuman power.

"Oh Carly, Carly," He taunted, one of his fingers brushing away the blonde strands that fell out before her face. She peered confidently into his steely gaze with her own brilliantly blue eyes. "Don't we have a restraining order on you?"

"Actually..." She piped in, with a tone as condescending as his own. She reached down into her jean pocket and retrieved a security card, from the guard she bumped into earlier. "I am not Carly today."

"Oh, of course," He chuckled, reaching down and inspecting the photo on the id. "Indeed, so you are Gary, is that correct?" He returned his hands to either side of her head, grinning at her, hoping to make her all the more inferior. But Carly's blood pressure never even so much as peaked and her heart rate was always the same as it had been before his presence was known. He never understood how she, compared to so many, remained so kempt under his sterling supervision. "A middle aged white man, that weighs over three hundred pounds?" She nodded her head, giggled a bit and he licked his lips.

"Exactly." Homelander rolled his eyes, haphazardly tossing the card over his shoulder.

"Seriously though, you shouldn't be here, its against the rules." His expression dropped into a stoic glare, but his eyes continued to intensely run up and down her body, almost hungry, hungry for something he could never have.

"When have you ever known me as someone who follows the rules?"

"That's a fair point." He nodded his head, "but seriously," He deadpanned. "I could kill you right now for trespassing, couldn't I? And it would be reasonable as you were the one breaking the law, wouldn't it?" She didn't react, which at times annoyed him, but he wouldn't give her the benefit of knowing that. He much rather preferred the playful banter to be honest, it made things so much more interesting for him.

"You aren't going to kill me, Homelander. It would look bad on Vought's part, wouldn't you agree?" She leaned in closer to his body, knowing she was playing with fire, hands pressing against the somewhat unrealistic pectoral muscles of his suit. "One of Vought's greatest enemies on the opposition, disappears after finding themselves in Vought's tower." Homelander glanced back and forth, up and down the hallway, as if he himself wouldn't hear the footsteps of an oncoming bystander from a mile away. "Oh, Homelander, does your dick cup need adjusting, or are you just happy to see me?"

"That's enough, citizen." He snarled between clenched teeth, shoving her back against the wall and she sighed her irritation with the whole situstion. She got so close to getting that interview, only a few steps away.

For a moment, she wondered why he was always so gentle with her. Obviously he was never slamming her up against the wall, or pushing her around at his fullest capacity, she was grateful for that. At the same time, it did hurt, he had left bruises on her arm before, he had nearly broken her wrist once. None of this was anything new, she had been between Homelander and a wall many times before. It seemed to be his favorite way of addressing her, but she could never tell. Homelander's intimidation tactics had stopped working months ago, so Stillwell had resorted to just discrediting Carly, ignoring her, but Carly was still determined.

"Urgh, I just wanted an interview with Stillwell."

"How did you even get in the building, huh?" He gave her some space, surprisingly, taking a step back and interlocking his hands behind his back. She crossed her arms and leaned on her hips, staring him down.

"How else do people enter this building? I walked in."

"Hmm, those fucking idiots." Homelander mumbled under his breath, making his way back towards the elevator. He expected her to follow close behind and she did. If she didn't it would be pointless, he would catch her and most likely carry her to the elevator as if she were a piece of paper.

"To be fair, they did suspect me at first but I'm just so pretty, ya'know?" He snorted at her remark and stopped at the elevator door, pressing the button and then tilting his head down over at her tiny self.

"Next time, it won't be so easy." The elevator dinged and the doors opened, Homelander smiled at her.

"I still will find a way, Homelander." She backpeddled into the elevator and he winked at her.

"I'm sure you will, Ms. Danvers, you always do."

"And you waiting for me on the other side, always makes it better, doesn't it?" He ignored that question as the doors closed shut, his smile falling into a grimace.

"Its not like that." He explained, turning to face an authoritative Ms.Stillwell, who had been patiently waiting for him to finish his conversation with Carly.

"Sure its not, no matter how many times I ask you to get rid of her, you let her go every goddamned time." Stillwell stomped past him, her perfume wafting into his super senses and he sighed.

"Fuck." The human had made him soft, that was a fact, and Stillwell knew it as well as he did.

"Hello! My lovely diabolical hero haters, my name is Carly Danvers and we are here for my favorite segment on the show, 'Not so Super Superheroes'." An applaud from a fake audience, a foghorn blasted out loud and she exploded with laughter. She adjusted the mic towards her, along the headseat on her head. "So anyways, I have this guy that's been trying to get on my radio show for legit months now. I was advised not to allow it, but he brings some interesting superhero fallacies to the table. Without further a due, I introduce Doctor Miles Porter. Miles, how are you doing today?"

"I'm doing good, Carly. Fantastic actually."

"That's good to hear, so are you an actual doctor, or what?"

"Yes, actually, I have a PhD in Chemistry."

"Wow, very interesting, and you are a hero hater just like us?"

"Actually no, but I had a recent falling out with my job under Vought so I decided nows a good time as any to become one."

"Oh, alrighty then, this is perfect timing by the way. I heard you know a little about this conspiracy with the blue dope, would you like to elaborate?"

"Well, its not 'blue dope', its a compound..."

"JESSICA! Get your ass in here, right now." Stillwell shouted, hands clenched into fists at her sides as the one named Miles Porter further explained the elements of Compound V over a Live radio station.

"Uh sure, doc, but with all due respect I don't believe in that mumbo jumbo. Do you Allen?"

Stillwell exhaled a breath of relief for a moment, taking the file on Miles Porter from Jessica's trembling hands.

"Nope, not one bit, Carly." Allen was Carly's partner in crime so to speak, they had been friends since childhood.

"I mean, there are notable studies on evolution that completely debunk the blue dope conspriacy."

"Those studies are falsified by Vought, they just want us to think that heroes are natural so they can continue to profit off of them. Do you really think that you are just gonna spout powers out right now?"

"No, that's a bunch of bs, doc, and you know it. Evolution doesn't work like that. I'm just saying, a few generations from now all of us might have super powers. Who knows?"

"You're supposed to be a hero hater!" The doctor exclaimed.

"Now you listen, and you listen well. I never said I hate heroes because they were birthed from some stupid conspiracy juice. I said I hate them because of the shit they do, they don't apply themselves to the law. We don't need heroes like that."

"Well, at least she isn't feeding into the Compound V, scandal." A voice sounded out from behind Stillwell, she physically flinched and then turned to face Homelander. She flattened her pencil skirt as she did so, then waltzed over to her desk, the radio still playing in the background.

"Her following is quite strong, not enough but strong, and just the fact that its being talked about is despicable."

"Homelander is cool though." Carly said, Stillwell rolled her eyes and Homelander grinned.

"Yeah, I knew she'd say something along those lines." Homelander chuckled, Carly was an amusing blood bag that's for sure. He knew one day he'd probably have to kill her, but for now he will let her live. Stillwell can't control every aspect of Homelander's decisions.

"Oh hell yeah, Homelander is cool." Allen agreed, Stillwell nodded to Jessica, who was standing idly off to the side, to turn the radio off.

"Let's ask some of our listeners what they think, we've got father of two, Joe here. Hey Joe, what do you think about the blue-"

"And that's a wrap for us today on, The Not So Super Superheroes segment, thanks to everyone for tuning in. Don't forget to say sassy and hate heroes." Carly harshly threw her headseat off her head as soon as the 'On Air' light flashed off.

"Geez, man, you got so angry." She snapped at Doctor Miles, sitting comfortably in the seat across from her.

"Look, I thought this show would have been a good platform to release such information."

"I'm a girl about facts, ask Allen." Allen scratched his matted beard and nodded his head, "You embarrassed me, doc, and I don't take that lightly." She stood up, grabbing her papers and then moved to leave the room. Allen followed, only for them both to be stopped at the door.

"Wait!" The Doctor scrambled to his feet with a sigh, "I will show you! I can show you!" No one could hear them on the other side, the room was fairly sound proof when nobody was on air. The other employees tidied up, went over takes and funny sounds to use in tomorrow's segment on the Deep and his fish friends.

"I thought you were fired." Allen's dull voice reminded, the Doctor nodded his head.

"I was, but I am sure they haven't changed my card access, yet. I can take you to one of their labs-"

"No, thanks dude, you're crazy," Allen answered, turning into Carly, who was still standing solid at the door. He narrowed his eyes at Carly's face, thoughtful, curious. "No, Carly."

"It wouldn't hurt, Allen. Besides, whether he's telling the truth or not, getting into one of Voughts labs, what a story that is."

"Yes, exactly," The doctor snorted nervously, "I can show you everything you want to see."

[thesaunatest]

MY HUGE THEORY ON EL’S PLOTLINE IN S4

before you guys even start, YES I know that 99.9% of what I say is going to be wrong but this is literally just for fun.

its march 1986, middle of the school year and el HATES school

when we left her she was barely literate and had just started getting accostomed to speaking full sentences, NOWHERE NEAR a 9th grade level, so shes struggling in her classes to say the least

on top of that, she barely knows how to socialize with other people, so shes evidently getting picked on

with joyce and jonathan both working to keep the family afloat, will and el get left alone alot

but outside of the party, they socially have nothing in common

in fact, will is adapting to the new town a whole lot better than el. he fit right in with all the creative kids he met in class, but el didnt mesh with that crowd

anyway, our girl is sturggling

the only time she really has fun is when she visits hawkins, or when someone from the party visits them

which leads us to spring break

mike obviously comes to visit, and el doesnt want them to waste a single second so she begs mike and will to come explore the town with her

at this point joyce is already in her detective mode, hatching a rescue plan for hopper so she doesnt notice theyre gone

and jonathan is battling the heartbreak of nancy ghosting him when she was supposed to come visit

so the trio goes off on an adventure without anyone noticing.......... or so they think

because brenner is back, and he knows el is with the byers, but he cant go and snatch her because he doesnt have the resources all the way in california

in fact, he doesnt have the resources at all. his numbers experiment is seen as a catastrophic failure that lead to the deaths of hundreds of lab employees

the only way for him to redeem himself in the community, and gain his funding back is to present his peers with proof that the project can work, so he needs to get one of his numbers back

el is the only one he can track down, but he doesnt think he can do it himself. if she saw him, she could just kill him with her powers, he assumes because he doesnt know she lost them

so who does he employ to get el back to hawkins? lonnie byers

its almost too easy. it doesnt take much to bribe lonnie, and hey, its not like its his kid. so lonnie accepts the bribe, and goes all the way out to california to find el

he shows up at the byers house..... only to find it completely deserted. so he waits

and the trio finds him there after their day out (why are you here? what do you want? where are mom and jonathan?)

and lonnie, being as crafty as he is, comes up with a good excuse on the fly (hes craftier than i am because i genuinely have no idea what he would say)

anyway, he gets them in his car and on their way back to hawkins

jonathan shows up after theyve already left, and is too stoned tired to think anything of the empty house

and joyce is already halfway to russia

will knows his father. he knows that his father doesnt give a shit about him, the family, or anything about hawkins. he knows that his father wouldnt get involved in anything unless he had something to gain. so hes wraking his brain

maybe.... lonnie pulls over to take a suspicious phone call? maybe will figures out an inconsistency in his story? either way, the gang is onto lonnie and figures that they gotta get away from him and get back to joyce and jonathan

they tuck and roll out of the car. idk. all that matters is that they get out of there

as theyre rolling out of the car, el bonks her head a little and has a quick flashback to her time in the lab

since her intuition is always spot on, she takes this as a cue the breener is back and lonnie is working for him

she tells the boys it isnt safe to go back to california or hawkins, so they come up w an alternative plan, somewhere neither brenner nor lonnie would think to look for them

and while theyre on the road, they stop at a diner to eat (dont ask me where they got the money) and we get will leaving an emotional voicemail home, probably sobbing to jonathan about how much he means to will, which gives el an idea

because who has the resources to help her, as well as a desire for vengeance on brenner? kali

el uses her superb hitchiking skills to get them to chicago

maybe she just has some hints of her powers left, but it isnt too hard for el to find kali

she explains everything thats happened, and lets kali know that if she want revenge, the opportunity is hers

unfortunately, lonnie was hot on their trail, and called for reinforcements

theyre ambushed by the few employees brenner has working for him. initially, everyone is hiding, assisted by kali’s powers

but el knows they arent leaving empty handed, and would rather get taken away then have kali’s freedom taken from her

so el reveals herself, followed by mike because he wont leave her, followed by will because he wont leave mike

all three get taken away, back to hawkins lab, but now kali is even more motivated to bring down the lab once and for all

so kali and her gang get to hawkins, almost simultaniously with jonathan, who has been looking for his family in a frenzy since the morning he woke up to find eveyone gone, without even a note or a phone call, as well as argyle, who came along for the ride

the video store is being used as home base this season, so thats the first place they go, where they find steve, shortstaffed and not knowing whats going on because the whole team ditched him

they catch him up to speed on how EVERYONES GONE and steve catches them up to speed on how EVERYONE IS GETTING MURDERED

meanwhile, brenner has three predicaments

1) no matter what he does to el, what kind of torture he inflicts, she isnt using her powers because she doesnt have them. she tells him this several times. he refuses to believe it

2) lonnie byers is demanding his payment, which he didnt recieve because the deal was that he bring el to them, and he couldnt even do that

3) he has to find a way to dispose of mike and will, who he had no intention of bringing into the lab but theyre here and they know everything

and this is the moment where mike screws up by letting them know that people know theyre in the lab and people know about all the experiments and any second now, someones gonna come banging that door down to save us. nancy, jonathan, steve, robin max, lucas, dustin, kali-

and the second mike says her name he knows he screwed up

brenner decides in that moment that all he can do is round up everyone involved and get rid of them. conveniently, the string of murders occurring will serve as a good cover for what happened to them

and this is the part where joyce, murray, and hopper get back to hawkins

this is also the part where nancy and robin and the gang get back to hawkins

so nancy and robin immediately go to the video store armed with all the new information they learned from victor creel

..... and are met with jonathan, argyle, kali, and steve in pandemonium

they close the store for the day, and get ready to storm the lab

they realize that they need something from the school, so they head there to pick it up

and soon after arriving, theyre met with the all to familiar hawkins lab vans

they make a hasty escape, taking out some of the goons but they need to find a way to get the rest off their trail

they head for the woods, hoping to hide out in the cabin

meanwhile, the russia crew has taken the mostly demolished cabin as their haven to recover from whatever injuries they sustained

theyre all running through the woods, but they realize the people from the lab are closing in on them

and then nancy and jonathan pass a very familiar tree

they use whatever weapon they have on them to break through the bark, and head into the upside down

the lab people keep going into the woods, eventually finding hopper’s cabin

epic showdown between the russia crew and the lab people, joyce, murray and hopper win, they realize the lab is back, immediately head there realizing theyre gonna have to rescue someone

nancy and robin use the info they learned from victor creel to keep the gang alive in the upside down, max, argyle and eddie are freaking out because omg we’re in another dimention, we get some big reveal about the truth about the upside down and the gang makes their way out and head to the lab

and while this is all happening,we get some super emotional monologue between brenner and el (ala-the last 10 minutes of the truman show) and brenner realizes that el isnt going to be the naieve superweapn she used to be, and decides the best thing he can do with el is give her the standard punishment, time in the closet

and being in the closet triggers all sorts of flashbacks and emotions (mbb’s opportunity to show off her acting chops for an emmy)

joyce and hopper bust into the lab like they did in season 1, but this time they dont get caught

they decide to split up to cover more ground, and hopper finds el in the closet

and around the same time joyce finds mike and will and gets them out of there

here comes the REAL emotional performance

hopper sees her, we get a teary eyed “el!” “dad!”, and then hopper gets pulled away from el by lab workers

exactly the same way terry did

we’re watching this happen from el’s perspective, with a heart-wrenching “noooooooooo” from el, accompanied by cuts to every time el has had to be separated from someone she cares about (terry, the s1 ending, billy dying, her leaving kali in s2, saying goodbye to everyone on moving day, her being separated from mike and will when they got to the lab) accompanied by some terribly sad 80s song, then back to the present moment, she reaches her hand out and boom, the guards go flying. her powers are back

except she doesnt have control of them the way she did before, and now shes bringing the whole building down

her and hopper race to the the first floor, and meet joyce and the boys, they get out of the building at the very last second, and the whole thing collapses.

eventually they find the other group, the whole team is now together, they go and take down the big bad from the upside down, joyce almost KILLS lonnie

nancy and robin drop a huge bombshell that has to do with hawkins/the upside down, specifically pertaining to el, which they pieced together after talking to victor creel

we get a massive cliffhanger, season 5 starts like 10 minutes after the ending of season 4

[octerminal]

I’ve talked before about how Nadia being Earthborn is the central reason she’s renegade leaning, but I really want to get into it again because I’ve been listening to Hadestown a lot recently and that always makes me think of Nadia because the musical touches on how traumatizing poverty is. And also just because, well, I always want to talk about Nadia.

But before I can do that, I have to talk about a few other things first.

(This is going to be niche and also super self-indulgent, but it’s my blog, so who cares. Note that because of what both Hadestown and the Earthborn background entail, this is going to get slightly political. But again, it’s my blog, so who cares.)

Generally speaking, Mass Effect has an issue with downplaying trauma. Ashley, Tali, Garrus, and James all go through the traumatic experience of being sole (or almost sole) survivors. Tali goes through this twice, because the comics show that before she even met Shepard she lost the team she’d been traveling with. (And that’s not even counting the fact she also loses a chunk of her team on Freedom’s Progress. They use this trope with her a lot.) Liara loses her mother in the first game and she has almost no reaction. Shepard dies in the beginning of the second game and spends the rest joking about it, with very few opportunities to express anything but humor over the situation.

People respond to trauma differently, and the game is also told primarily from Shepard’s point of view, so consequently we only see what Shepard sees. All of these characters likely grieved in private, and they definitely do carry scars (literal and figurative) from what they’ve gone through. But I also think that Mass Effect likes making characters go through objectively traumatic things without fully considering how someone might act coming out of it. In fairness, that’s the fun of fanfic, and I also do think everyone on the Normandy has some degree of experience in compartmentalizing because they simply don’t have the time to sit down with their feelings. (A lot of them are also just averse to doing this.)

But exploring that trauma is what I’m interested in the most, and that’s how I approached Nadia. Earthborn is my favorite background for that reason. It’s not a single event that’s shaped their life thereafter, but a sustained stressful environment they endure for years and only escape once they sign up with the Alliance. And in that regard, Nadia rather sees it as trading one cage for another, but that’s neither here nor there.

Like, to go back to Hadestown (I swear I’m not going to write Hadestown meta on this blog), “When the Chips are Down” is one of my favorite numbers because it so accurately describes Nadia’s response to poverty. “How can you expect me to care about another person and put their wellbeing above my own, when doing that will result in my own death? How can you expect me to trust another person, when that could result in my own death? How are you going to lecture me on having no morals when if I had prioritized morality, I never would have survived?” (This is something I love bouncing off Kaidan, but I’ll get to that later.)

In other words, and this is an incredibly obvious thing to say, poverty is traumatizing and violent. It is an incredibly violent thing to put another human being through, to make them worry for their basic safety, to live their day to day in a constant limbo of uncertainty that permeates every facet of their life. Will you be able to eat today? Will you be able to sleep in a safe environment? Can you trust this person you’ve never met? Will trusting them endanger what little safety you’ve managed to achieve? How much money do you have? How long can you make that money last? Where will you be tomorrow? How about the day after?

This is something that leaves its mark on anyone it touches. It’s hard enough for an adult to plan for the future when they don’t have the luxury of knowing how they’ll even survive the week; when you’re a child, and that sort of stress is all that you’ve known, how do you even imagine a better life when you’ve known nothing different?

Before I get any further, I want to pause for a moment. Something that’s always been curious to me are the codex entries for Earth. Here’s a portion of ME1′s codex:

Here’s a portion of ME3′s codex:

(Written transcripts of the complete codex entries at the links.)

In both of them, they talk about how humanity is in a new golden age. A lot of pollution and common diseases have been eliminated. The colonies have brought in more resources. There's even been some correction to the damage early climate change caused. Then the Fire Nation—I mean, Reapers, attacked and ruined all of this. Except, take a closer look at ME1′s codex:

“While every human enjoys longer and better life than ever, the gap between rich and poor widens daily. [...] Less fortunate regions have not progressed beyond 20th century technology, and are often smog-choked, overpopulated slums.”

This seems incompatible with the idea of Earth being in a golden age. How can Earth be thriving if the class disparity is growing, not narrowing? How can Earth be thriving if entire swaths are still "smog-choked” and using centuries old outdated technology?

It’s not incompatible if the idea is that Earth has entered a golden age only for the ones who can afford it. And this is the reality Earthborn Shepards were raised in: the idea that their suffering is an unimportant, insignificant underbelly to an otherwise “prospering” homeworld.

So, resuming with that in mind: the way Nadia sees it is that to allow poverty to exist is an inherent societal failure that reflects on the government. This is why Nadia has no loyalty to the Alliance, and why she doesn’t trust them. This is why she subsequently has no loyalty to the Council, and why she doesn’t trust them, either. It doesn’t matter that the Alliance and the Council weren’t personally responsible for her childhood, because they’re still governments. She knows that governments will lie and exploit and allow for people like her to fall through the cracks if it will benefit them. She knows they will broadcast only the best of what they have to offer while conveniently pretending people like her don’t exist.

Like, personal politics aside, as shown above with the codex entries, this is just...canon. And Thane’s loyalty highlights poverty on the Citadel through Mouse and the concept of “duct rats,” so we know that it exists there, too. How the Council presumably feels about poverty on their station is outlined if you speak to Avina on the Citadel in the second game:

AVINA: Asari futurists believe poverty cannot be eliminated without “cornucopia” technology, which will create anything the user desires. Such technology is unknown outside science fiction.

Essentially: yeah, unfortunately, poverty exists on the station, but what can you do? Believing poverty is avoidable is actually utopian and therefore unrealistic, sorry! 

But when you meet Anoleis on Noveria as Earthborn, he can literally tell you poverty doesn’t exist on Sur’Kesh. (And sure, he could be lying, and we have no proof either way. It doesn’t erase the fact that, at the very least, the existence of widespread poverty is something that even a corrupt and money embezzling salarian thinks is an easy jab.)

ANOLEIS: My homeworld is clean. Poverty is non-existent. If you take some perverse pride in that overheated, acid-washed slum, that is your business.

There’s nothing about the Alliance and poverty that I know of¹, which makes sense considering the main branch of the Alliance we see throughout the games is its military branch. There are still plenty of instances in the trilogy where the Alliance does exploit the vulnerable, or attempts to cover up their self-inflicted shortcomings. An obvious one is with Kaidan and Conatix; Kaidan literally tells you the Alliance is the one who “made mistakes.” That in their haste, they allowed a man to brutalize children for the sake of research. And when it backfired, they sealed the documents and pretended it never happened.

UNC: The Negotiation is one of my favorite ME1 missions for this reason, too—it highlights a part of the Alliance the series doesn’t really focus on otherwise. Darius tells you that the entire reason he’s operating in the region at all is because the Alliance is the one who set him up there. 

DARIUS: You see this gun? This is your gun. Your military set me up here, and now it wants to pretend it doesn’t know me! But I know the truth. The Alliance needed me here! So treat me with the respect I deserve!

SHEPARD: You said we set you up. Did the Alliance give you weapons?

DARIUS: After the batarians were driven out of the Verge, the Alliance wanted to stabilize the region. I had the strongest syndicate in the area. They gave me the weapons and money I needed to take over.

After the mission, Hackett implies the entire reason he sent renegade Shepard to cover a diplomatic negotiation is because he expected and wanted them to kill Darius, because he was now more trouble than he was worth.

HACKETT: I’m sorry that you were unable to negotiate with Darius peacefully. His death is regrettable. Nevertheless, the resulting chaos will create a power vacuum that makes future raids upon our miners unlikely.

SHEPARD: You didn’t think I’d negotiate with him. You wanted me to kill him.

HACKETT: Sometimes extreme measures must be taken to ensure humanity’s safety. Or did you think you were the only one willing to break the rules to get the job done?

(Link, so you can watch the mission yourself.)

None of this is me saying the Council and the Alliance have no redeemable features whatsoever, or that they have never contributed positively to galactic wellbeing. It’s just me citing instances in canon that support why Nadia has the opinion she does of them, and why she’s not exactly incorrect in having them. 

So, to loop this back around to Kaidan? As I said, he’s not a stranger to government-level negligence. But Kaidan had a much different reaction than Nadia did, and this is something that absolutely fascinates her once she finds out.

Before that, though: the two of them don’t really hit it off in the beginning—though they’re both still professional—and this is mainly due to Nadia being, well, Nadia. She is not a people person and she never tries to be, which consequently makes her off-putting to most people. On her end, she’s generally unimpressed and uninterested in the people around her. She sees a lot of them as puzzles to be solved and then to move on from, or threats to assess.² The rare times someone does pique her interest enough to act on it, she still prefers to not linger around for long. So, you know, just general unhealthy behavior.

So, Eden Prime is illuminating for them both. Like, on Kaidan’s end: Nadia comes off as callous. She doesn’t care about the colonists, she doesn’t care about Jenkins’ death. On Nadia’s end: Kaidan comes off as naive. How has he been a marine for this long and she has to tell him to suck it up after someone dies? (This is one of the reasons why she didn’t want to work with regular marines again; in my canon, Anderson had to needle her³ into accepting the Normandy position.)

But the truth of it is that the reason Nadia comes off as callous is because she’s thoroughly desensitized. Like, when you grow up poor, on the streets, and in a gang? You’re both witnessing and being put through a lot of traumatizing situations. Akuze, of course, only adds onto this. There’s this one dialogue option in the beginning of the second game when Miranda and Jacob are assessing Shepard’s memory, and while Nadia doesn’t take this option in canon, it is how she feels:

JACOB: You enlisted, and you survived a thresher maw attack that wiped out the rest of your team. Do you remember that?

SHEPARD: Yeah, I remember it. Everyone screaming, gunfire, blood everywhere. I was the only one focused on survival.

Paragon Shepard focuses entirely on the other marines: how they were their friends, how something like that can destroy you if you let it.

Renegade Shepard barely thinks of anyone else at all. There were fifty other marines on Akuze, and renegade Shepard thinks they survived simply because they were the only one focused on it. For Nadia, that’s because that’s what her entire life has already been until that point.

Look, there are a lot of different ways to play renegade; it runs a much larger gamut than paragon, in my opinion. Nadia is more of a neutral renegade. She’s not particularly bigoted, just dispassionate and apathetic⁴. She resorts to violence and intimidation because it’s the easiest way to control her surroundings, not because she thinks what she’s doing is particularly righteous⁵. This can get brought up in Samara’s loyalty when talking with Morinth:

MORINTH: Violence is the surest expression of power.

SHEPARD: Violence is a means to an end. Power is that end.

Like, Nadia is a person who’s had to live a life surrounded by violence, not because it’s what she initially chose, but because it was repeatedly inflicted on her. She didn’t have the luxury of nursing her compassion and generosity, or of prioritizing morality. Those things would’ve gotten her killed. What she focused on instead was survival: the best way to survive, the easiest way to survive, the way that consistently ensured her own safety. This meant violence, and in order to survive, she became very good at inflicting violence.

That’s what I meant when I said Nadia thinks she traded one cage for another: the Alliance wasn’t freedom in the truest sense; she’s still doing what she ultimately would’ve done if she had remained with the Reds⁶. She’s just doing it with government approval and a steadier paycheck. She knows she’s still being used, and it’s only who’s using her that’s changed. All that’s to say, she isn’t an N7 ranked infiltrator because she feels strongly about protecting Alliance space and dirtying her hands to do it. She’s an N7 ranked infiltrator because it’s simply what she’s good at.

One of my favorite renegade lines in the entire trilogy is during Thane’s loyalty because it perfectly highlights Nadia’s philosophy on her situation:

SHEPARD: Your father and I have killed a lot of people. You haven’t. There’s no reason you should start.

To Nadia, her life is what it is because of the circumstances she was raised in and the decisions she made in response to that. She doesn’t deflect blame for the sort of person she’s become; she holds herself the correct amount of responsible.

She kills people for the Alliance, she kills people for the Council, she kills people for Cerberus. Other Shepards might dress it up differently when death is unavoidable: “it’s a shame, but it was necessary,” said along with the appropriate amount of guilt. Or: they were a terrorist, they were a mercenary, they forced my hand. To Nadia, it’s all death, and there’s no inherent difference between killing someone “to protect humanity” (read: protect the Alliance’s interests) or killing someone “to protect the galaxy” (read: protect the Council’s interests) and simply killing someone in a situation paragon Shepards would deem unnecessary. And to Nadia, if you haven’t had to live a life like this—why start? You still have other options. Use them.

One thing I love about Hadestown is how it discusses the simple accessibility of being able to live your life, let alone live it virtuously. Like whether or not I agree with that, it’s an interesting thing to explore, and it gets brought up multiple times:

“When you’re hungry and there ain’t enough to go round / ain’t no length to which a girl won’t go / [...] and sometimes you think / you would do anything / just to fill your belly full of food” 

“See how the vipers and vultures surround you / and they’ll take you down, they’ll pick you clean / if you stick around such a desperate scene / see, people get mean when the chips are down” 

“Aim for the heart / shoot to kill / if you don’t do it, then the other one will / [...] nobody’s righteous / nobody’s proud / nobody’s innocent / now that the chips are down” 

“Go ahead and lay the blame / talk of virtue / talk of sin / wouldn’t you have done the same? / in her shoes / in her skin / you can have your principles when you’ve got a belly full” 

“I did what I had to do / that’s what they did too” 

“Some flowers bloom / where the green grass grows / our praise is not for them / but the ones who bloom in the bitter snow” 

Again, I’m not going to meta about Hadestown⁷ and the precise context for these verses are different in that canon (for starters, Eurydice never kills anyone), but the concept is similar: when you’re poor, you’re often driven to desperate measures to survive. Sometimes that means stepping over other people, or otherwise ignoring how your actions will affect them. Often, this is to your own detriment. And it’s really, really easy to cast judgment on the poor people driven to these decisions when you were never in their position. It’s really easy to just live when you’re not in a situation where you had to worry about your survival on a day-by-day basis.

I bring up Hadestown because it’s a nice conduit to explain Nadia’s issues. She’s not renegade because she thinks she’s on a crusade and anyone who gets in her way is acceptable collateral damage. She’s renegade because her survival depended on it, and as Sha’ira points out, it’s what has allowed her continual survival:

“I see your skin, tough as the scales of any turian. Unyielding. A wall between you and everyone else. But it protects you, makes you strong. That strength is what kept you alive when everyone else around you was dying. You alone survived. You will continue to survive.”

For her to survive her childhood, she had to step over other people and put herself first. This meant not allowing herself to get close to other people, and to not care about them beyond what they can give her to ensure her own survival.

And this is why Kaidan interests her. Kaidan’s response to brain camp wasn’t to minimize the importance of his morality, it was to double down on it. (Yes, partially to his own detriment, but that’s a different post.) His response wasn’t to distrust others, because after all, one of his defining characteristics is his compassion. It’s just that Kaidan’s inclined to troubleshoot everything, even his interactions with other people. He might be “once burned, twice shy” but he’s not going to be “once burned, byedon’tfollowmeI’mgoingtorelyonlyonmyselfforever.”

Like, he still wants to help...

SHEPARD: So why are you telling me this? Are you saying I’m cutting corners somewhere?

KAIDAN: I’m saying...it’s probably inevitable that we’ll have to. And when that happens, I want to help you. When someone important to you is up on a ledge, you help them. Keep them from mistakes better made by a kid.

SHEPARD: I’m a big girl, Alenko. I don’t need your help.

KAIDAN: I didn’t say you needed it, I said I’m offering it.⁸

...even though his desire to help (because he cares, because he thinks it’s the right thing to do) is precisely what led to the culmination of his trauma.

KAIDAN: He hurt Rahna. Broke her arm. She reached for a glass of water instead of pulling it biotically. She just wanted a drink without getting a nosebleed, you know? Like an idiot, I stood up. Didn’t know what I was gonna do...just, something.

He figures out what went wrong and tries to avoid repeating that mistake. He doesn’t just stop trying at all. He doesn’t lose his faith in having faith.

It’s antithetical to how Nadia responded to her own circumstances, and she can’t quite process the logic behind...why you would be this way. It’s not that she expects everyone to be like her. She’s seen a lot of different people traumatized, and consequently a lot of different ways people have reacted to trauma. It’s more like: “fool me once” is enough for Nadia. There are no second chances after that. She sees no point in ruminating over why something went wrong. Just accept that it did. (Or don’t, but never think about it, anyway.) She thinks living any other way is akin to, I don’t know, laying down in a snake pit right after one just bit you. Stupid, in other words.

(I should also clarify: this is mainly when it concerns people. She will troubleshoot when it comes to things like tech.)

Like, I’ve joked about this to a friend, but when Nadia first reads Kaidan’s file⁹ her impression is: alright, boy scout. Then she actually meets him and she thinks her assessment was more or less spot on, and she loses whatever vestiges of interest his file did manage to leave despite its otherwise boy-scouty-ness. 

But the thing is, Kaidan isn’t naive. He chooses to have the faith he has in the Alliance despite what they’ve put him through. He’s acutely aware that the Alliance is capable of mistakes, because he’s been on the receiving end of it—yet he still wants to help and feels that as a biotic, the Alliance is his best avenue to do that:

KAIDAN: I’m not looking for “the dream.” I just want to do some good. See what’s out here. 

KAIDAN: Commander, I thought real hard about how to use my talents. When I swore the oath to defend the Alliance, it wasn’t on a whim.

Like, Nadia thinks Kaidan giving his loyalty to the Alliance is a stupid reaction, yes (in fairness, Nadia thinks loyalty to organizations in general is stupid), but it still fascinates her precisely because Kaidan has some semblance of an idea of what the Alliance’s negligence can and has caused, and yet he still continues to put his faith in them. Kaidan hasn’t had the easiest life¹⁰, but instead of closing himself off, his reaction was to give the Alliance a second chance, to still place his faith in others, all because he still wanted to do some good.

It’s not what Nadia has done, and she can’t say she understands it, but realizing that Kaidan isn’t the ignorant boy scout she pegged him as goes a long way when it comes to the development of their relationship. (For instance: it allows the relationship to develop at all, lmao.) And the development of their relationship is one of the early domino pieces in a long line of dominoes that sets Nadia down a much healthier path.¹¹

~

¹ We do know, however, that the Alliance does offer to pay college/university tuition in exchange for serving with them in some capacity, thanks to conversations with Traynor and Ashley.

² You know that one Iron Bull banter with Cole where he talks about how one of the first things he does when he meets a new person is to figure out the best way to kill them? Yeah, that’s Nadia.

³ This is because Anderson’s brain is huge, and he understood no one can forever live life the way Nadia was living hers unless they’re a death seeker.

⁴ One of the most in character renegade lines in the trilogy is, once again, during Thane’s loyalty (a big reason why it’s one of my favorites: it’s really, really good Nadia content) when you choose the first renegade check during the interrogation. Shepard sounds so bored, so matter-of-fact. That’s the kind of renegade Nadia is.

⁵ This is probably worse to some people compared to “hard” renegade, since at least “hard” renegade can genuinely believe in what they’re doing, even if others consider it evil. Fortunately, I don’t care.

⁶ I don’t really think she killed anyone during her time with the Reds. (Or, if she did, it was only one person and it would’ve been near the end of her time with them.) I think they primarily used her for cybercrime. She still would’ve witnessed and been expected to participate in a lot of beatings, etc. And, as previously said, had she stayed with the Reds I do think this would’ve ultimately progressed into her killing for them, too.

⁷ Though if you enjoy criticisms of capitalism, an exploration into the traumatizing effects of poverty, and an ultimately hopeful message that meaningful change is possible even when everyone is conditioned to believe it’s not, I recommend giving it a listen. It’s easy to follow along through audio alone, but you can find a low quality bootleg pretty easily, too. (Be warned that some of the songs will differ from the official album recording, though.)

⁸ If the remaster brings better lighting to Kaidan’s little hub area and doesn’t hideously whitewash him like in ME3, this is absolutely one of the first things I’m going to gif because it’s one of my favorite moments in the entire romance.

⁹ Nadia reads the files of everyone she’s going to work with, not because she’s particularly interested in them, but because she wants to know what level of incompetency to expect.

¹⁰ Unrelatedly: ask me about my headcanon about how disgustingly rich Kaidan’s family is, and how much Nadia wants to kill him when she finds this out.

¹¹ This is absolutely not saying love, romantic or otherwise, cures her lifetime worth of unpacked trauma.

[gothfoxx]

a story to a prompt that went too off target but i still liked

But that’s only when you have to deal with rookie heroes and their basic mistakes, not a villain who see a 3 on 1 fight and wants to help. Which was sweet of Torrent, don’t get me wrong, but these kids are C maybe B-class at best and not a threat. So when he burst onto the scene and declared himself my protector it really shouldn’t have been a big surprise. What was surprising was the kids not backing off even though it was better for them to call in a senior hero and follow at a distance!

“Ha, foul villain, you won’t get away from us just because you called in reinforcements!” The loud kid with the super-strength shouted as he punched a chunk of broken concrete towards them.(that’s points off for endangering civilians and not keeping damage down) A blast of water shot the chunk back at the kids, thankfully the kids were pushed back by the gust the first punch made. (The wind has always been easiest for me to control and easiest for others to not take notice of)

The kid that could float pushed off the ground to try to confront Torrent, not a smart move considering he just tossed a object bigger and heavier than her. So guess it’s time to step up and tr- “Stupid hero! You think you can stop me?” Torrent shouts, ok less thinking more doing!

Quick as a sneeze I jump in front of the float kid and pie her in the face with a whip cream pie, Torrent pulls back his attack just in time to miss hitting me or the kid. "Trix, love, let me handle these degenerates. You could get hurt with all this rubble." He calls towards me in a genuinely concerned voice, again sweet but he was messing with my job! I was going to answer but the third hero-kid popped up behind him and used a metal pole to knock Torrent out. Which ok props for taking out an A class villain but now the water he was controlling was going to fall on civilians, a tidal wave worth of water falling hard on bystanders that the kids had ignored(more points taken away, so so so many points) like a pile of bricks.

The strength kid grabs the float girl since she still has cream all over her face blocking her sight and the warp kid pops back to their side to pop them all to safety in the blink of an eye. Um What? Were they just going to leave now? after all this? They were leaving a villain to fall to his unwarranted death, another 'villain' to escape, and towns people to be crushed by a wall of water that they are responsible for. Ok, they fail.

I was going to lose my Joke!Villain job for this but screw it, im a protector of the people first, all people. I let the wind feel my intentions and it whisks Torrent to the roof of a building, water listens to him like a limb listens to the brain but for me? Water bends to my will as easy as breathing. I know that my eyes spark with energy and the wig i use to hide my own has blown off, but that doesnt matter as i send the water into the storm drains and sewers. And since im already sure to lose my job at this point I dont see a reason not to just fix some of these building before they collapse. Concreat lifts back into place and melts seamlessly in place with just a thought, there are gasps as the people who thought they were going to die realize the threat is over and set eyes on the figure that saved them. The new will be all over this before i even get back to base to get chewed out.

"Gaia?" the warp kid and his team mates are behind me as i land on the pavement, they sound so excited but there is a storm brewing inside me that needs to be let ou. "No. No you three dont get to be happy or excited or star struck! You almost died and then you were going to let other people die! You should have popped away as soon as Torrent arrived and informed a senor hero about the incident! I have never had a group fail so badly in a mock encounter, five years of training exercises and never have i had a group put so many people in danger, including themselves!" I shout at them, their awestruck faces turning to frowns and pinched looks. By now police and some full time heroes had made it to the scene so I could leave the kids and mess to them while i went to check on Torrent.

The guy was awake now and looking very hurt when i landed on the edge next to him, "So you didnt need my help?" "no" "And you are actually a hero? "yeah" "Does that mean we were never friends?" "Torren-Cory, you are a lovely guy. You never made Trix feel like a failure or make fun of her, made her smile after fail heists. You were a great friend and im sorry i lied, i was never meant to get to know any real villains but you reached out and were so sweet. I. I never knew if someone was just pretending to be my friend as a kid, people were scared of me or wanted to use me. It was nice to know you just wanted to be a friend because you wanted to know me and not for some other reason. So yeah, you might have made friends with Trix but Trix is me, sorta." He looks away from me for a minute then back at my probably still sparking eyes, "We could leave." I must make a face because he looks sad, "I mean, we could just go and live normal lives. Not even like together together, just...Friends." And wouldnt that be grand? A life away from all the stupid fighting and being monitored because you have world ending power over the elements, no more training snot-nosed privileged kids, just talking about our favorite books and laughing at tv shows. A normal life with probably my only friend.

"Cory, I cant go. They track me, its in my spine where i cant get it out. I want to, i would love to leave with you. But i just cant." I hope he knows that i mean it, how ive thought about leaving before, going to his lair and just never leaving as Gaia again. We dont have a lot of time left before another hero comes up here to check things out so i reach over and squeeze his hand. "Live a good life for both of us ok." Neither of us address the tears we're both shedding, this got too real too fast for either of us in truth, "I'll make a good life and ill find a way to get you help." he declares as he stands, water pooling under his feet and raising him into the air. It hurts, I lost a friend and my freedom today, being a joke!villain was the only time i didnt have a voice speaking in my ear. I hope you keep your promise.

[demonfox38]

Completed - Zelda II: The Adventure of Link

Oh, my language is going to be vulgar on this one.

So, I'm a crusty millennial who likes old garbage. Most of the media I like is old enough to drink and be a member of the US congress, but probably couldn't be due to the country that produced it. Now, I'd like to think that I've got good reasons to like older media, particularly when it comes to video games. It's a bit hard for my NES to bug me for microtransactions/DLC and emanate the screams of children and man-children alike. But, as much as I like my retro junk, there's one thing I'm very, very happy about regarding modern video games. The variety of game types now-a-days is a blessing. It's rare that someone is stellar at all game types, and I sure have my weaknesses.

It took me a long time to realize that I could be good at video games, and I wholly blame the glut of 1980s platforming games on that.

Look, platforming is not a forgiving genre. Particularly, back in the day where you had characters dying in 1-3 hits before factoring in death pits. It existed then for the reason that fourteen million instakill indie horror games exist now. Instantly killing the player is a lot easier to code than, say, having to track a health bar or their new position as an enemy swats them into a different room. Sometimes, a coder's gotta do what they can to keep themselves sane.

But, from a player's perspective, this style sucks!

Getting good at a platforming game requires practicing the same levels over and over again, developing a sense of your character's inertia and limitations. Without a save state or a warp to narrow in on a particularly troublesome location, it's hard to get learning to stick. You could lose a lot of games and time trying to put it all together. And some poor little character is always suffering because of your ineptitude! Such failure feels like a fork in an electrical socket. Succeeding in these circumstances requires a great deal of emotional resilience and a contrary attitude. And you know what? That's just not something I had as a kid. In fact, one could say I had my aggression and competitive drive scolded out of me. I'm just now getting that back.

So, yeah. I had a little trouble with "Zelda II: The Adventure of Link."

"Zelda II" is part of a trifecta of NES games that get routinely shit on by retro reviewers. Like its peers "Super Mario Bros. 2" and "Castlevania II", this game is generally considered an inferior game due to an extreme change of gameplay and appearance from its predecessors. And you know what? That attitude sucks. I'd rather have a variety of different games with a cast I like than have them pigeon-holed into one genre. In "Zelda II"'s case, however? The game mechanic shift was so extreme that I can easily see the ire it raises. Hell, I felt it. I wouldn't go so far to say that it's the worst Zelda game ever, but man, does it have structural defects.

In "Zelda II", Link's goal is to save an ensorcelled Zelda from eternal slumber by picking up a Triforce chunk that was pitched into a fuck-off palace way at the edge of Hyrule. (No, not the Zelda from the first game. Another Zelda. Same Link, though.) To do that, he's got to slap six gemstones into various temples across the countryside. Naturally, that includes picking up his trusty sword, leaping into battle, and then maybe straight into a death pit.

That's right. This Zelda is actually a Mario.

Further complicating the matter is a sharp switch in battle style and item accruement. While the previous Zelda game was about room management and ranged combat (or at least, as much as that was allowed), this game is all about jamming Link's dinky sword into an enemy's face and running off as fast as he can. Now, Link can learn a few tricks to help with the slash and dash, like directional stab mechanics and spells. But, as far as getting new weapons to help you? Sorry, bud. No bombs or boomerangs here. Well, except for the assholes throwing boomerangs at you, anyway. You just can't steal them.

The game encourages polishing the player's skill with Link through a level system. After acquiring XP through good ol' fashioned monster murdering, Link can cash his points out, improving his life, magic, or attack power. As the player levels him up, stats become more costly to improve. If Link gets a total game over before you use your XP, it is wiped out. Alright, fine. Fair, I guess. But, I wouldn't recommend looking at Japanese footage of this game if you don't want to give yourself a migraine. It turns out that as a part of some rebalancing, the level-up system was stacked to try and keep players from dumping all of their points into a single stat early into the game. Particularly, attack. Considering how painful and annoying enemy logic gets in this game, it's such a drag to learn that Japanese players literally could cut their way right out of that struggle. Thanks for dicking with the game design again, American publishers.

I guess we got better looking sprites and sound effects out of the deal? Hooray for wiggly Barba.

Even with leveling mechanics and a handful of heart and magic containers, this Link feels much frailer than the original Zelda's Link. Like, it's hard to believe he's supposed to be the same guy. Even at max health and defense, you could get Link wiped out with 8-32 hits (as opposed to 16-64 hits from the first game.) Exacerbating that is a life system that can yoink those health bars at any pit's whim and Link's range/health restoration being tied to a limited pool of magic. It feels like you're playing with a ceramic replica of the original character. You can make it work in a fight, sure, but you'd rather have a sword than a shard of a broken teapot.

If you don't have a bushido-level acceptance of death, you're not going to make it very far in this game. I'm not being hyperbolic. You have to accept that you are going to kill Link. You're going to watch that little fairy boy fade to black as the world flashes around him, and you're going to see that a lot. You're going to toss his bitch ass into the river to get a game over and restock your lives because fuck if you're going to wipe out inside a dungeon and have to start your bitch ass back at Zelda's temple again. That little counter on the main menu isn't how many times you have wiped out. It's how many times you've clawed your way out of the abyss with a middle finger raised.

Oh. Minor epilepsy warning on boss and Link deaths, by the way.

Having gone full bleak there for a moment, there are a few pieces of knowledge that can help slow down the cycle of life and death:

There are towns with nice ladies in red dresses and orange robes that will heal your ass for free. You should talk with them a lot.

There are classes of enemies that will drop items after they have been killed six times. Most of the time, this is a magic bottle that restores MP. Sometimes, it's a bag of experience. No monster will drop anything to heal your HP.

Also, some enemies are literal rat bastards that steal your XP. Some also give you no XP on killing them. Yeah. I know. Annoying.

The Life spell is in Saria. The downward stab is in Mido. (I realize these are very strange sentences if you're more familiar with "Ocarina of Time.") Getting these can make a night and day difference in surviving the game. So, keep that in mind.

You do get a spell that will turn you into a fairy. You can use it to game pits and sneak past lock doors. Just don't abuse it too much. It's expensive.

The dungeons have this little statue in front of them that you can whack with your sword. In most locations, it'll drop either a magic bottle or an Iron Knuckle. Game entering and exiting a dungeon as much as possible to restore yourself to full vitality.

You can get into random fights on the overworld (represented either by a little black blob or a more threatening human-sized blob.) Staying on gold roads will mean these encounters produce no enemies.

Also, you can use those random battles to override forced platforming sections. Not that I would recommend cheating in such a fashion. 😉

The game will give you a level up after you plug a gemstone into a dungeon. If you're close to leveling up anyway, turn around and grind up to the top, cash in what you've got, and then go pitch that gem.

Link has a crouch, not a duck. You think pressing down on the D-pad will evade projectiles aimed at your face, but it does not. Crouching is only good for blocking floor-level garbage. It's best not to think of the down button as much as possible, really. Only use it to pick up crap off the ground and cheese the final boss. Otherwise, jump.

I know that I said earlier that "Zelda II" is mechanically like a Mario game, but you know what other perspective might help? Try and play Link as a Metroidvania Castlevania character. There's an attack style in games like "Castlevania: Symphony of the Night" and "Aria of Sorrow" where you walk, jump, and attack in such a way that you never stop moving forward. That's what you've got to do. Walk, jump at an enemy, bonk on forehead. (Depending on how fast you press the attack button, you may need to delay swinging your sword just a teeny bit. At least, I had a bad habit of swinging too early.) With any luck, when you hit the ground, you will be able to keep on moving. You do not want to get stuck playing "poke-the-hole" with your enemies, particularly with how turtle-y some of them can get.

So, the game's a brutal bitch, but I don't want to spend the entire time shitting on it. Let's talk about improvements.

Honestly, I like the sprite style of the side-scrolling sections better than the previous game. Everyone/thing has more room to be rendered, so they look clearer. I can't say the monster or dungeon design here is my favorite, but hey. Easy to see. Yippie. Could have used a map though. Maybe some more tile textures in the dungeons?

NO. STOP. BE NICE.

There are more people around that want to help Link out. Like, whole towns filled with helpful healing ladies and dudes that will teach you magic and the occasional sword strike. Most of their conversation makes sense (although, there's a memetastic fault in translation regarding a character being named Error instead of what I'm assuming should have been Errol.) People good. Want to help people. People help me.

Except for towns where some of the people are monsters, and one of the times they overlapped a healing lady to get text box priority, and then they killed me. Boo.

I'M SORRY. I HAD A HARD TIME.

The music variety is pleasant. Only a few tracks have escaped the game to go into use elsewhere, but there's only one that I'm really iffy on. The NA release did a fine job transposing what they could using a different sound chip, and there are striking uses of the sample channel being used in ominous situations.

But…like…I struggle to see where fighting through this game is worth it. And maybe it comes down to the final boss. Like, the penultimate one? Absolutely cool. A bitch to fight, but I can't knock how massive and intricate its sprite is. But, the final boss? I suppose it comes down to personal tastes, but I find mirror matches/rivals to be exceedingly dull. Like, good for you. You know how I fight. I do too. Come back to me when you know the weaknesses of my style and use a fresh set of skills to throw at me.

Like, it's not the worst ending in the Zelda series. (My vote for that would go to "Link's Awakening.") You do get Zelda saved. But, given that the final boss is some kind of dark clone of yourself…it begs a lot of questions. Was there any concrete plan for the forces of darkness in Hyrule, or were various monster tribes just scuffling around, being dicks without any overarching plan? Were some monsters trying to keep you out of the Great Palace for a good reason? Would there have been any threat of Ganon reviving at all if Link just…sat on his ass behind a castle for the next century or managed his anxiety in a different way? Why does the manual bother to separate Zeldas and the game does not? Oh, wait. The Japanese intro correctly distinguishes this and the American one does not. Why am I not surprised? What's the difference if you don't see the Zelda you saved from the first game, anyway?

This game is a lot of work. I had to psych myself up to play it every time, and by the end, I was rattled enough by my nerves that I literally camped in my bathroom for a few minutes just to make sure I didn't get sick on the couch. Very stressful. And I'm not sure that stress was worth it, frankly. Life's hard enough as it is right now. I literally have a stress rash on my neck from the shit I'm going through in real life. No, you did not need to know about that. But maybe you need to know that I've been having a hard time lately, and this game did nothing to alleviate me from the stresses of reality. And what's the point in checking out from reality if a fantasy world is just going to make me miserable, too?

There are better games to play in this style. Hell, there are better games on the NES in this style. You know what you should go play? "Faxanadu." It's uglier than "Zelda II", sure. An absolute idiot when it comes to basic mathematics. But it's very chill about platforming and death. And maybe I just want to chill the fuck out for a while.