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lilyofthesword-writes · 4 years ago

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Sorceress (Loki Oneshot)

Summary: Loki comes to stay at the Avengers Tower while you are away on a mission. He becomes quite interested in you when he learns you wield magic similar to him and Doctor Strange.

Pairing: Loki x F!Reader

Word Count: 5,260

Warnings/Disclaimers: Anxiety issues, brief mentions of blood loss and injury, Wanda being an awesome friend

Masterlist

You wound your way into the kitchen and flipped on the electric kettle. Gathering your mug, you pulled out your calming tea blend. Today was the first day of the semester, and it always made you anxious. You felt like you had not rested one bit over the summer break. It probably didn’t help that Fury had sent you on a mission for most of it and you just returned yesterday, but there wasn’t much you could do about it. Just keep moving. This was your life now.

You went over the mental checklist in your head. Syllabus, notes, handouts...

“And who might you be?”

The low, charming voice ripped you from your thoughts, causing you to jump and almost knock over your mug. Swinging around to face the intruder, you found Loki the God of Mischief hovering closely behind you. You had forgotten about Thor contacting you on your mission to tell you Loki would be kept at the Tower for his punishment. Tony made him call you, something he did when he was afraid of you being angry. You had heard Tony coaching Thor in the background of the call.

“Don’t do that!”

He chuckled, taking a step back. “My sincerest apologies.”

“Riiiight.”

You folded your arms and took in his appearance. He definitely did not look the same as he did on the news when he tried to take New York. From the images you had seen, his eyes were wild and sunken and his face gave off a sense of malnourishment. The god standing before you now looked healthy with bright not quite blue but not quite green eyes that held a sprinkle of boyish mischief. Maybe Thor had it right about the possible mind control.

“Shall we start anew?” He bowed lightly, delicately taking the fingers of your right hand in his, forcing you to uncross your arms. “I am Prince Loki of Asgard.”

Oh no... Boyo was laying it on thick.

Nervously clearing your throat, you introduced yourself.

“A lovely name, my lady. May I ask why I have not seen you here before?”

He was still holding your hand. You could feel his energy pushing against yours. Was he trying to test your abilities?

“I was on a mission overseas. Just got back last night.”

“That is a shame. I would have preferred your presence here when I first arrived.”

You heard the click of the kettle and pulled your hand away to pour the hot water in your mug. He seemed almost disappointed by the loss of contact.

“I heard from Wanda that it was pure chaos for a while. She practically begged me to abandon the mission and come home,” you chuckled. “Don’t know if that would have done any good though.”

Taking a sip of your still brewing tea, you realized Loki had retaken the step back from earlier and was nearly looming over you. You regained that space, heading for the door.

“Well, it was nice to meet you, but if you’ll excuse me, I need to finish preparing for class.”

You rocketed out the door before he had a chance to respond.

You flopped on your bed after taking a portal home. Your closest friend Wanda was there to greet you.

“So how are all the magic newbies you ditched me for?” she teased.

You huffed a laugh. “Same old, same old. College freshmen who think they already know everything. They’ll be in a world of hurt in the coming weeks.”

“At least being an adjunct professor has its perks, right?”

“Yeah. I have some semblance of a life.”

You both started giggling at that.

“Are you still going to eat with everyone for dinner tonight?”

“I don’t see why not. Today was only day one of classes. Nothing to grade yet.”

“Maybe Loki will chill out then.”

You casted Wanda a concerned look. “What do you mean?”

She rolled her eyes and sat up on the bed. “Ever since Thor mentioned you could wield magic, Loki kept asking when you would be back.”

“Huh,” you mulled. “Guess that would explain this morning.”

“This morning?”

You nodded and hummed. “Yeah. I was in the kitchen making tea when he showed up.”

“You talked to him before me?!” She shoved you playfully, feigning hurt feelings.

“Because I totally planned it,” you laughed.

“So what did you think?”

“You mean other than tall, dark and handsome?” You paused as she snickered. “He’s alright, I guess. He was being overly nice.”

Wanda scoffed. “That little... Okay. So, when he wasn’t holed up in his room or the library being all nice and quiet, he kept making all these snarky comments to everyone. Then, there was the pranking... He saved that mostly for Tony though.”

“So what you’re saying is to keep my guard up because he could go bipolar on me.”

“Yup.”

“Great... This is going to be fun... How long is he staying?”

“Indefinitely.”

All you could do was groan and hide your head in your pillow.

Dinner was suffocating to say the least. Loki joined the team in the dining area, apparently a rarity for him, and they were not happy about it. Well, it was mostly the original team members, the ones who fought against Loki in the Battle of New York. The newer members like you and Wanda, while not fond of him either, couldn’t care less. Thor seemed to be the only who was content, shoveling food down his throat, unable to read the room with a silence so palpable and deafening.

This is... awkward. Wanda spoke to you through her mind, something she usually did when she was uncomfortable but still needed to express herself.

No kidding. I’m thinking about ditching.

Aren’t you hungry though?

Starving! But I can’t eat like this. I’ll come back down in a couple of hours for something. Maybe I’ll watch a movie til then.

Room for one more?

Always!

With half your plate empty, you excused yourself and disposed of the scraps in the kitchen. Steve, who usually fussed at you about your not so great eating habits, did not say a word. Sneaking some snacks for the movie from the kitchen, you went back to your room to wait for Wanda who popped by about ten minutes later.

You woke with a start, stomach growling and gurgling. You blinked away the sleep from your eyes and looked around. Wanda was long gone. You guessed she went back to her room after you fell asleep at some point. She was at least nice enough to turn off the TV before disappearing.

Your belly rumbled, again. Reluctantly leaving behind the warmth of your blankets, you stumbled to your feet and hobbled to the kitchen. You reached for the light switch, the kitchen being too dim in the low lighting left on at night. The lights turned on before you could find it.

“I was wondering when you would arrive.” Your name slid off Loki’s tongue like silk.

Letting out a breath, you tempered your scowl. “What made you think I was coming down here?”

“Aside from the dinner you barely touched?” he chuckled as he traced a finger across the counter. “Well, it can be considered rude to hold a private conversation from such a small group of people.”

You shouldn’t have been surprised by a magic wielder being able to see what other magic wielders are doing.

You folded your arms. “It’s definitely considered rude to eavesdrop.”

“That is quite true.” His signature smirk graced his face. “Although, is it really eavesdropping when I did not listen to what was being said? I merely sensed the exchange of energies.”

“Sure...” You didn’t believe him, but you would let it go for now. It’s not like you two had said anything damning. You just needed to be a bit more careful moving forward. “Now would you be so kind as to stand aside? I would like something to eat, and you’re blocking the fridge.”

“My apologies, but perhaps I may be of better service to you with,” he snapped his fingers, “this.”

The leftovers from dinner instantly appeared piping hot on a plate.

“How did you-”

“Come now. I thought you were a sorceress,” he smirked teasingly.

There was the ego you were expecting.

“I can manage the same end result,” you pouted. “But... the steps leading to it would be different...”

“I could always show you how.”

That grin and those alluring aventurine eyes would be the death of you. You wanted so badly to say yes. While you had the schooling and moved on to helping others, there was still so much more to learn. To say you were eager would be an understatement. The problem was you just met this Trickster God. How could you trust him so soon?

“I... I appreciate the offer, but maybe another time.”

You tucked some of your hair behind your ear. Why did you feel guilty for turning him down?

“Of course. The offer remains standing. Enjoy your dinner, Sorceress,” he replied, his disappointed voice betraying his stoic demeanor.

With that, he swiftly left the room. Yeah. You felt bad. Maybe you would find a way to make it up to him.

Weeks later, and you were frustrated beyond belief. The last lesson you attempted to teach was going nowhere. You needed help, and you needed it now.

You sprung from your room with your notes and textbook and practically sprinted to the library where Loki could usually be found. You were right. There he was lounging with his back to you on one of the couches amongst the books, reading Dante’s Divine Comedy.

“To what do I owe the pleasure, Sorceress?” He didn’t even look up from the text. Not a good sign.

Taking a breath, you answered, “I was hoping I could get your help with something.”

That got his attention. “Oh? Would you not rather ask that Strange fellow the others prefer to associate with.” he scowled.

Great. Of course, he had to be in one of those moods today. His mood swings were to be expected but the timing was difficult to predict.

“Pff. The last time I asked him for help, he was a total ass. Just because he trained with a master overseas for a short period of time and has a photographic memory does not mean he fully understands every magical concept.” You brought your rant to a halt. You could say so much more but doubted anyone wanted to listen.

“Well, someone who sees that charlatan for what he truly is,” he snorted, snapping his book shut. “Now, pray tell, why would I assist you when your magic is so similar to his?”

Adding fuel to the fire. The rant was back on. With a huff, you came around to the front of the sofa and dropped your supplies on the coffee table, taking a seat next to him.

“You really want to get me started, don’t you? Look, I have been practicing and studying magic since I was child before I even knew what I was even doing. Hell, I’m still learning. That will never stop. I have worked my ass off to get this far. That’s why I get frustrated with Strange. He never believed in magic until it could help him in some fashion, and then he’s deemed a ‘master’ so soon after starting. Admittedly, yes, I am a bit jealous. However, I would not change how I have learned because it has allowed me to dig deeper and understand more.”

You inhaled deeply, signaling the end of your monologue. You had not really meant to go that far with it, but it was too late now. Your words hung in the air as Loki studied you.

“What do you need assistance with?” He flashed you a grin.

You silently screamed with relief. “Okay, so there was a theory I was trying to teach yesterday.” Flipping open the textbook to the right page, you brought your notebook and pen to your lap. “The students just aren’t getting it.”

Loki leaned over the table to read the book. “Magical Exchange: The Equal Exchange Theory...” His eyebrows could have rocketed off his forehead with how surprised he was. “This is an elementary subject.”

“It is a 101 course,” you shrugged. “I just don’t know how to explain it better. I’ve not taught a class that had issues with this before. This particular group has proven... Difficult.”

“Have you attempted a more... Oh what do you mortals call it,” he hummed. “A more ‘hands on’ approach?”

You sighed and unconsciously tapped your pen on your notebook. “Yeah. I tried to improvise like that when the text did nothing. It just made things worse.”

“I see...” His lips drooped into a frown. “Perhaps a new perspective is required.”

“You read my mind,” you teased, winking at him. You still had not forgotten that first day. “So if you were teaching this, how would you go about it?”

Clearing his throat, he picked up the text book and lounged back on the couch. An anxious silence droned on before he finally spoke again.

“This text describes the various classifications of what is considered Equal Exchange, yet there is little on what does not qualify.”

Loki proceeded on his own mini-lecture about the experiments performed by both mortals and Asgardians, many of which ended in failure due to the lack of Equal Exchange. One ended up being about the Philosopher’s Stone, a topic you had already learned quite a bit about. You scribbled notes as fast as you could, filling up a good quarter of your notebook when he had finished.

You chewed on the end of your pen while looking over your notes. “This could work. Between these explanations and showing some examples, they might grasp what all it means.” Letting out a tired sigh, you looked up at him with full sincerity. “Thank you, Loki. I owe you one.”

He chuckled deeply, sending shivers down your spine. What was he up to?

“There is one favor I wish to ask of you in exchange.”

You blinked deftly. “And what might that be?”

Taking your free hand in his, he gently swiped his thumb across your knuckles. “I merely ask for a dance.”

“A. Dance?” That was not what you had expected.

“Yes. Stark is holding one of his... illustrious parties next Saturday.”

Oh crap. You had purposely forgotten about that. Parties were not normally your thing.

“R-right! I forgot...” you mumbled, swiping your hair behind your ear.

“All I ask is one dance. Would that be acceptable?”

You gazed into his eyes where a dabble of insecure hope hid. “I... Yes. That would be nice.”

Your face felt like it was on fire when he kissed your knuckles, whispering, “Excellent,” before he helped you to your feet and gathered your belongings.

Saturday seemed to arrive all too quickly. Anxiety pulsated through your veins most of the day. Why were you so nervous? It was just one dance.

You sucked in a breath as you took in your appearance in the mirror. The off-the-shoulder, malachite dress hugged your form just right until it flowed gracefully from your hips to your knees. A silver pendant and heels tied off the look. You looked... Good. Better than you had anticipated. Now if you could just calm yourself down.

All those people, people you did not know for the most part would be there, too. Tony always invited so many guests no one else knew. But you also wouldn’t be alone. The whole team was going to be there. You would not be alone. One party should be manageable.

A knock at your door tore you from your spiraling thoughts. With a half-hearted sigh, you meandered to the door and open it to find Wanda and Vision. Wanda must have sensed your distress. She took one look at you, told Vision she would meet him downstairs, gave him a chaste kiss and stepped into your room, closing the door behind her.

“I-I don’t know if I can do this, Wanda.” You sat on the edge of your bed, thoughts of nausea swimming in your head.

She said your name with such resolution, your gaze snapped up to hers. “You can do this.”

“I don’t-”

“Don’t start. One, you look gorgeous. Two, you’re a professor AND Avenger. You teach in auditoriums and fight bad guys for a living. This party should not be a problem.”

“Small auditoriums...” you mumbled, earning you a look.

“Three, Vision and I will stay nearby. If any weirdo tries anything with you again, we’ll be there.”

Because you needed to remember the one party where some drunk rando was getting too handsy, the one where you had trouble controlling your abilities because you did not and do not like crowds. Tony, Steve and Wanda had to extract you after kicking out the drunk moron. That was your last party.

“I don’t want to be the third whe-”

“Shush. I’m not done.” She waved you off. “And four, once you have your dance, you can get the hell out of there. Okay?” She smiled sympathetically.

You nodded and looked at the floor. Wanda took you by the shoulders and forced you to stand.

“Alright, now breathe with me. Ground and center. Breathe. Raise your shields. Breathe.”

Doing what you were told, you started to feel better, the deep breaths helping the most.

“Better?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Let’s get going. Remember, you can do this.” She guided you towards the door.

“Right... I can do this...”

I can’t do this...

You leaned on a wall out of the way, sipping on a light cocktail that you had hoped would keep you calm. It didn’t. Between the flashing lights, pounding music and the chaotic array of energies emanating off the guests just made you want to crawl in a hole and bury yourself.

Wanda and Vision were out of your sight but you could still sense them nearby. They’d be there in a blink of an eye if you needed them, but you didn’t want to ruin their fun. It also did not help that Loki was nowhere to be seen. At first, you thought he and Thor were getting ready, but that thought was thrown out when Thor arrived fashionably late alone. Maybe Loki decided the whole thing was a waste of time and backed out of coming. Yeah. That had to be it which meant you could bug out of here early.

“There you are, Sorceress.”

Never mind. Just as you had moved to the bar to set your glass down, Loki showed up behind you. You spun around, dress flowing out as you did. He looked taken aback with his cheeks slightly flushed. He muttered something under his breath but the music and chatter drowned him out.

“I’m sorry? I didn’t catch that.”

He just shook his head, smiling as he reached out a hand for you. “Would you care to join me on the balcony?”

Balcony?! Why didn’t you think about going out there? It would be so much quieter.

“I would like that very much.” You took his hand and let him lead you outside.

The balcony was so much better. The doors muffled the incessant beat of the club music along with the yelling guests. You took in a deep breath, taking the chance to glance at Loki and appreciate his look.

Yup. Still attractive in Midgardian clothing. His designer suit looked as though it was made only for him, the black color matching his curling hair that brushed past his shoulders. The green tie brought out his eyes and made them seem more saturated like an emerald. You definitely appreciated the new style.

“You’re staring, Darling,” he chuckled.

“Sorry. I’m so used to seeing you in your Asgardian garb,” you flushed. “T-the change is not unwelcome though. You look great!”

Great. Where were your words when you needed them most? And did he call you “Darling”?

“Thank you, my dear. Now, about that dance...”

That’s when you realized he was still holding your hand.

“What about the music?”

“I have something better planned than the noise Stark has chosen.”

He pulled you close, one hand encased yours while the other placed your free hand on his shoulder before snapping his fingers and keeping you close by the small of your back. A record player appeared playing Merry-Go-Round of Life.

“Shall we?”

You smiled and nodded, “Yes.”

Loki swayed with you along the length of the balcony, leading you into spins in time with the music. Neither of you had said a word since you started moving, but you did not need to. Everything was perfect. You felt like you were dancing on clouds amongst the stars. All of your anxiety had melted away. Needless to say, you were disappointed when the song ended.

“I do not suppose I would be able to convince you for another dance?”

Loki held your hands in his as he pulled back. He seemed just as disappointed as you.

“Well,” you mocked contemplation, “That wasn’t part of the original agreement.”

The soft grip on your hands loosened even more.

“But, I don’t see why I can’t make an exception, especially seeing how your explanations went over so well with the students. I haven’t thanked you for that part,” you smirked and with a golden flourish of your hand, changed the music on the record player.

Loki’s grin put the starlight to shame as he brought you back to him. As one song ended, one of you would switch it out to keep the music going.

Neither of you knew how long you were out there for. It had to have been more than a couple of hours since Tony was the one to break up your private party.

“Reindeer Games, Magic Hands! Pack it up! Party guests have already left!”

Both of you grimaced, hating your nicknames. Regardless, Loki led you back inside. Wanda and Vision had stayed throughout the party while you were on the balcony, and gave both of you these little knowing looks as you passed them. Ignoring them, Loki walked you to your room.

“Thank you, Loki. You made the night much more enjoyable,” you smiled brightly.

He smiled back, playing with the fingers of your hands. “I am happy to be of assistance, Sorceress.”

A moment of silence and you stepped forward, thinking of something a touch bold. “You know, if this were to become a regular occurrence, I might be persuaded to show up at Stark’s parties more often.”

A low chuckle reverberated in his chest. “That could be arranged.”

“I hope so.” You leaned on your toes, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Thank you, again.”

You slipped past your door so quickly you didn’t notice the lightly dusted blush on Loki’s face.

Today was not a good day. Scratch that. It was a terrible day. Some senior in Advanced Summoning got cocky and accidentally summoned a few large, irate creatures from the Fae Realm. With you being an Avenger and working for the school, it was no surprise you were chosen to handle the situation. Killing would have been easier, but you could not bring yourself to do it. It’s not their fault they were ripped from their home and dropped in an unfamiliar world. You were able to open a portal and send them back but not without sustaining a critical injury. You were barely able to close the portal before passing out from blood loss.

You woke up in the medical wing of the campus, a fog clouding your brain. You felt the dull pain in your side where one of the creatures had swiped its claws whenever you tried to move.

“Oh! Please lie still!” A healer came rushing over. “You don’t want to reopen the wound. We’ve done all we can to heal you without overloading your body.”

You just nodded and rested your head on the pillow. Looking at the window, you noticed how dark it was.

“What time is it?”

The healer looked at you nervously. “A little after 10PM.”

Groaning, you sank into the pillow more. “Do you know where my phone is? I need to make a call.”

The team knew your schedule, and they were going to flip, especially Loki. You two had grown attached to each other since the start of your balcony dances (there had been at least six so far). The status of your relationship was in limbo, somewhere between friends and romantic partners. Neither of you seemed to know which way to go.

The healer left the room momentarily before rushing back in. Handing you your phone, she warned, “Now, your phone started going off non-stop since about six this evening. We had to answer just to see if it was important and if they could wait until you called back. Th-the man on the other end. He was.. Not. Pleased. He started demanding to know where you were...”

“I understand,” you cut her off softly. “If I could get some privacy please, I will call him.”

She nodded and headed to the door.

“And whatever else he said, don’t worry about it. I’ll make sure he behaves.”

The healer pursed her lips and closed the door behind her. What the hell did he say to her?

You picked Loki’s contact in your phone. He answered in barely one ring, calling out your name. “Norns, are you alright?! Where are you? What happened?”

“Loki, I’m fine. I’m still on campus. There was a little mishap that I had to take care of. Got a little banged up in the process, but everything is okay.” You added that last part quickly.

“A little mishap? You should have returned hours ago. Please, allow me to bring you home.”

“Loki, the school only allows faculty members and students on campus. The wards make sure of that. And despite the constant demands, even Fury and Strange have not been granted access. They don’t even know where to look. Besides, you’re on lockdown. Remember?” You tried to reason with him, but knew he would not give up so easily.

He pleaded your name. Lately, he almost always stuck to pet names for you, only using your name when he was truly upset. “Please... I need to know that you are in good health.”

“I am, Loki. I will more than likely be back at the Tower in the morning.”

“Not tonight?” His pout was clear even over the phone.

“It’s late and I doubt the healers would let me check myself out at this hour.”

“I- Alright.” The defeated tone in his voice made your heart break.

“I’ll call you in the morning, okay?”

“Please...”

“Goodnight, Loki.”

“Goodnight.”

As you pulled the phone away to hang up, you heard him call your name.

“Yes?”

“I... I will see you tomorrow.”

You hummed with a smile. “See you tomorrow.”

It was early morning when you finally left the campus. Loki didn’t answer his phone, so you left him a voicemail instead, fairly sure he knew how to access it. Cell phones still were not his strong suit, but he was getting better.

Stepping through the Tower doors, you were greeted by Happy who gave you the world’s most gentle bear hug. He had Friday let the others know you were headed up.

“By the way,” he yelled to you as you stepped in the elevator. “Loki was up all night worrying about you. You should go talk to him.” He winked at you.

You just shook your head as the elevator doors. When they reopened at the common room floor, you were greeted with Wanda tackling you before she dragged you out.

“Loki told us something went down at the University. What happened?!”

She pulled you into the common room to one of the sofas.

“Some moron was trying to impress a girl in Advanced Summoning. Brought in some undocumented creatures from the Fae Realm.”

“Of course... Now you were hurt? Where?” She started looking you over.

You lifted your shirt just enough to show the heavy bruising on your side. “The healers did a decent patch up. Just have to deal with this for a couple days, and then I’m good.”

“I wish I could help, but healing is not my forte.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m fine,” you smiled reassuringly, letting your shirt fall.

“Fine is not how you would have been classified yesterday,” a low voice came from behind the couch, startling you.

“L-Loki! I thought I had told you not to do that!” You clutched your chest, taking a deep breath.

“Darling, may I speak with you? Alone.” Loki gestured for you to follow him.

You squeezed Wanda’s hand apologetically. “I’ll come find you later.”

Loki led you out, down the hall and into the library. He didn’t say a word until he sat you down on the couch next to him, gaze on his lap.

“Loki... I-”

“Dove, what were you thinking taking on those beasts on your own?” He clutched your hands tightly.

“I didn’t have much of a choice. I’m one of the few stateside who is trained in battle magic,” you pleaded.

He was upset. It was obvious. Your heart shattered with how he looked at you, fear and worry melded into one.

“You could have called for assistance.”

“Loki, we’ve been over this-”

“Would they not have made an exception with their students in danger.” It was a statement. He was right about that.

“If there were time, yes. They needed to be dealt with immediately.” You tore your hands from his grasp and cupped his face for him to really look you in the eyes. “Loki. Everything turned out alright. I’m still here, and I’m okay.”

“And yet you almost were not.” His voice was so quiet, you barely heard him. “I... I do not...”

You stroked his cheeks with your thumbs, encouraging him to go on. He pulled one hand away to hold while leaning into the other.

“Just be more careful from now on. Please.”

“Of course.”

“Promise me.” He squeezed your hand.

“I will. But first.” You took your hand from his face. “Finish what you were saying.”

He froze. “I am not sure what you mean.”

“You cut yourself off three times within twenty-four hours. You always finish your sentences. Now. What were you going to say?”

He still was not used to being caught, his initial confusion evident in his eyes which then darted about the room nervously. You sighed, and with a golden flourish of your hand, the library doors shut and locked.

“There. No one to walk in and disturb us or overhear.”

Loki was silent. He stared at your hand that was intertwined with his, then met your eyes.

“I do not know what I would do without you,” he whispered, bringing you into his arms in one fluid motion, your head tucked under his chin.

The scent of cedar and sage filled your senses as you returned the embrace and carded your fingers through his hair.

“Well, that’s not something you need to think about. I’m not going anywhere,” you responded softly. “Promise.”

He hugged you close, pulling you into his lap. His chest rose with a deep breath before he kissed the top of your head.

#loki x reader #loki marvel #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki x you #marvel #marvel avengers #the avengers #s.h.i.e.l.d.#loki imagine #fanfiction #fanfic #loki fanfic #loki fanfiction #loki friggason #loki oneshot #wanda maximov #wanda #wanda marvel

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starglow-xx · 4 years ago

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checklist

heyo! i wrote and posted this on my quotev for keith’s birthday (october 23, 2020) and i finally made a tumblr for my fanfiction soo here it is!!

keith kogane x f! reader

genre: fluff and slight angst!

This was what you had planned and written out coming to the Garrison.

(y/n's) Checklist: Garrison Days

Get into the Garrison✔️ extra: best friend is here too! :)

Get a license to become a co-fighter pilot extra: we're getting there!

Make new friends!✔️ extra: pidgeon, lancelot, and sunshine :D

Graduate!

Okay, granted, it's a bit short, but nevertheless it's straightforward and guaranteed to not knock you off course.

Although, this was the list that she seemed to be following at the moment.

(y/n's) Mental Bullshit Checklist

Fall in love with your best friend✔️

Sneak out of the Garrison basically every night to meet up with said best friend who just so happened to be expelled✔��

Fall in love with your best friend✔️

Keep secrets from your other best friends✔️

oh and FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND

✔️

Can't forget that checkmark.

You sighed.

'Damn him and his pretty face.'

Sighing once more, you flopped backward against your bed holding your phone out away from your face staring at the time.

11:23 p.m.

'It's still early. I'm not meeting up with Keith for at least another half hour.'

You frowned at your phone.

'I wish time would go faster. Or better yet, just skip this.'

You put the phone down opting to stare at the ceiling instead. Frankly, you were exhausted. Keith always ends up keeping you up till the very early hours of the morning, just before daybreak, leaving you with a small amount of sleep.

'I mean we do this basically every night. It wouldn't hurt to bail on him just this once right? It's not like we end up finding any clues about Shiro or "the energy source".'

Frowning again at the thought of your lost older brother figure, you closed your eyes and placed your right forearm against your eyes, leaving your other hand against your stomach holding your phone.

'A quick nap wouldn't hurt now would it?'

You shut your eyes slowly and then you were out like a light.

You awoke to light knocking at your door.

Opening your eyes slowly, you stared up at the ceiling, and you wait until your eyes get adjusted to the dim lighting of your room.

'Wait a damn minute.'

You frantically sit upright looking for your phone before spotting it on the floor. You immediately grab it before widening your eyes in horror.

12:46 a.m.

'Shit.'

*knock knock knock*

The knocking of the metal door snapped you back into your senses, making you rush all over the room fixing your appearance while simultaneously packing a small bag.

*knock knock knock*

'There's no fucking way Keith broke into the Garrison. There's no fucking way he's outside my door. No fucking way.'

'Guess we'll just have to find out.'

Taking a big deep breath, you allow the metal door to open.

And you end up staring into the blue orbs of your flirtatious best friend Lance McClain.

A sigh of relief passes in between your breath and you smile as you lean against the frame of your door only then noticing Hunk's panicky presence behind the lanky male. Ignoring his nervousness, you wave at the soon to be yellow paladin, with him exchanging a fidgety smile and wave in return.

Taking note of your sigh and smile, Lance speaks up with a cocky, goofy grin on his face.

"Woah there pretty lady, happy to see me?~"

Rolling your eyes with an equally goofy grin on your face you respond.

"Ha! In your dreams McClain."

"But you're always in my dreams (y/n)!" he replies cheekily.

Playfully shoving the tall teen backward, you stifle a laugh. You always enjoy your time with Lance; it's always been like this, the playful banter, everything. Even since you met as kids at the Garrison.

"Okay! Okay! Jeez (n/n) so violent."

Rolling your eyes again, you take another look at the best friend duo before asking, "So, care to tell me why you're here in front of my dorm at like one in the morning?"

Lance opens his mouth only to have Hunk shove the both of you back into your room with him following and the metal door shutting behind the three of you.

Lance not liking how he was treated so roughly, started to whine, "Hunkkkk what was that forrr- MPPFH," only to get interrupted by Hunk placing a hand on both of your mouths.

"SHHH! We have to be quiet you guys," Hunk lowers his voice, "I heard a guard walking down the other hallway, I think he might turn the way next! Oh wait! I hear him shhhhh"

The three of you stood still and quiet as you hear the footsteps of the guard get closer and closer until eventually fading.

After that very close call, you all sigh in relief as you had done a few minutes prior.

Suddenly remembering the conversation from a few minutes ago also made you become more aware of the time. Taking a look at the clock on your dresser, you curse under your breath.

12:57 a.m.

Quickly taking out your phone from your satchel, you curse again seeing the missed calls and text messages from Keith.

57 missed calls & 6 unread messages

keef♡

where are you?

sent 12:03 a.m.

(y/n) answer.

sent 12:07 a.m.

(y/n) pick up the damn phone! I know you're tired and I always drag you out late but come on pick up.

sent 12:09 a.m.

Okay, okay I'm sorry. Don't be mad at me.

sent 12:10 a.m.

(y/n) damn it. Now's not the time to be mad at me or to be sleeping. I think we might actually find something this time, I can feel it.

sent 12:15 a.m.

Fine then. I'll go on my own this time.

sent 12:17 a.m.

Ah shit. The only time Keith texts you first, and it's because you were being an idiot and accidentally bailed on him. Now he thinks that you've ditched him. Knowing him, he's gonna feel way more upset than you think because of what happened with his mom, dad, and Shiro.

'Ah I fucked up this time didn't I?'

Breaking out of your thoughts, you realize that you have guests at the moment.

You whispered yelled at the two taller boys, "What are you two doing here?!"

Lance sulked, "Aw (n/n) I could've sworn you were happy to see us like five minutes ago."

"That was before you almost got me in trouble!"

And that's coming from the girl who sneaks out of the Garrison on a daily basis. But they don't need to know that.

Not yet at least.

Hunk (bless his soul) interrupts Lance once more as he opens up his mouth, "Lance here wants to do some "team bonding" so we were going to get both you and Pidge, but we saw Pidge run out of his dorm, but we still needed to get you and this is the worst team-building exercise ever."

Ahh that's right.

The four of you got scolded today after failing the simulation.

Hunk puked, Pidge removed his (you're still doubting if he is really a he, but no judgment there) safety harness, and Lance crashed the jet. You on the other received praise from Iverson after attempting to pull a safer (cough cough Lance) emergency landing, and trying to pull the team together.

Well, it's your job as the co-pilot to keep Lance in check, just like how you attempted to keep Keith in check. All your teachers and other friends warned you about sticking close to Keith. They never did understand that you two had a close bond.

You two grew up together after all.

"Seriously (l/n) stay away from Kogane. You're a bright kid, you got real skill. Don't get mixed up with that troublemaker."

You look down as Commander Iverson speaks to you.

"Well go along, break will be over soon enough. See you in class."

He walks down the hallway as Keith approaches you carefully as he enters from the other side of the nearby wall.

"You can stop you know. You always get in trouble for sticking with me. I'll understand." He says in a low voice looking down.

You, on the other hand, shoot your head up and quickly wrapping your arms around him surprising the young teen.

"Are you dumb?! I'd never leave you Keith! We'll go through thick and thin together remember?! If anything, you might be the one leaving me! You move too fast you might just leave me behind!" you exclaim while squeezing him tighter fully aware of the growing blush on your face.

He lightly laughs before wrapping his arms around your smaller frame squeezing you just as tight.

"Don't worry (y/n), I don't plan on it."

You refuse to let him go as you don't want him to see your red face, not knowing that he hasn't let go for the same reason.

As you both got older, around the disappearance of Shiro, Keith gets expelled, but the both of you still manage to keep in touch seeing as you frequently sneak out.

"Why don't you two go ahead? I was just about to get some shut-eye, so tell me how it goes tomorrow okay?"

Yes, sleep would be pretty nice, but in reality, you needed them to get out of here so you can find Keith.

Please say okay, please say okay, please say okay.

Scrunching his eyebrows, Lance denies your request, "What? No! You're part of the team, we need you there!"

'Damn it.'

Before you know it, you find yourself on the roof checking out Pidge's equipment.

"Stop touching my equipment!"

You and Hunk pouted.

Now, you find yourself and the other three spying on an alien ship on a small ledge after hearing the emergency lockdown announcement at the Garrison.

You blinked.

"Hmm hey, Lance?"

"Yes (y/n)?"

"Why the hell are we here?"

Lance stopped looking through the binoculars to look up at you.

"We need to find out what's going on! But we'll never get past those guards to take a look."

Pidge types away on his computer.

Hunk sighs, "Aww yeah, I guess there's nothing else but to get back to the barracks right?" and he gets up from his crouching position and starts to leave.

'Good idea Hunk.'

As you yourself start to head back, Pidge speaks up.

"Wait they set up a camera in there and I picked up its feed. Look."

The three of you gather around Pidge, only for your breath to hitch and for tears to start gathering in the corner of your eyes.

'Shiro?'

You think back to Keith's message.

"I think we might actually find something this time, I can feel it."

'Damn it, I hate it when he's right. I need to text Keith.'

You snap back into reality to dig through your bag only to hear Lance say, "No, what we need is a distraction."

As if on cue, a series of explosions go off in the distance.

'Oh no Keith I swear to God.'

"Ahh are those the aliens?! Are they here?! They got here so quick!"

Hunk continues to freak out, but Pidge interrupts him.

"No, those explosions were a distraction! For him. The Garrison is heading towards the blast, while he's sneaking through the other side!"

You could recognize that red hoverbike anywhere.

So, you quickly make your way down the small ledge ignoring the shouts of your friends.

"(y/n)! Wait! Oh that guy is always trying to one-up me!"

Lance quickly runs after you.

"Who is it?" Hunk asks.

"Keith!"

"What?! Are you sure?!" Hunk is quick on Lance's heels.

By now, you're way ahead of the three.

"Who?!" Pidge questions.

"(y/n)'s boyfriend!"

But not far enough to not hear that.

"I heard that Lance!"

(y/n's) Mental Bullshit Checklist

Find your lost brother figure��️

Get chased by the Garrison✔️

Realize that your bestest friend might be mad and hurt because of you✔️

Today is just not your day.

*A few minutes prior*

"Nope, no, n-n-no no you don't. I'm saving Shiro."

As Lance makes his way over to Keith and Shiro, you find yourself locking your (e/c) eyes with Keith's purple ones.

His eyes widened, not noticing Lance taking Shiro's other arm.

'Wait. Is that a metal prosthetic?'

"(y/n)?"

Snapping back into reality, (you seem to be spacing out a lot recently) you try and wrap yourself around this delicate situation.

Keith thinks you abandoned him on something that means a lot to him.

Keith is possibly mad at you.

Keith finds Shiro only for you, Lance, Hunk, and Pidge to barge in.

Keith might be thinking you left him alone for those three.

Keith looks hurt.

Your already teary eyes soften along with your voice, "Keith I-", only to get cut off by Keith himself.

"Who are you?" he quetions looking at Lance.

'Ouch.'

'I guess I deserved that.'

"Who am I? Uhh the name's Lance?"

Lance blinks waiting for Keith to recognize him. When he doesn't he speaks again.

"Uhh we were in the same class in the Garrison."

Keith still not recognizing him asks, "Really? Were you an engineer?"

Lance tired of his confusion clarifies, "What no. I'm a pilot. We were like rivals. You know, Lance and Keith neck and neck, and with (y/n) breaking up all our fights."

You deadpan at the brown-haired boy.

'Does he mean those petty fights where Keith doesn't acknowledge him, and I end up dragging him away?'

As if suddenly remembering, Keith says, "Oh wait I remember you. You're a cargo pilot."

"Well not anymore, I'm fighter class now thanks to you washing out."

Keith being Keith sarcastically congratulates him.

"Seriously, how are you (y/n)'s bestest friend?! You don't even know anything about her other best friends? And what's with the attitude?! I swear! I always tell her to stay away! You're a bad influence on her!"

You warn the blue-eyed boy, "Lance..."

"What?! I'm just trying to look out for you!"

*Flashback end*

Now, the five of you along with an unconscious Shiro are all on Keith's red hoverbike with the Garrison hot your trail.

Keith's driving, you're behind him, behind you is Lance, the Pidge and Shiro, and finally Hunk in the back.

Hunk's panicky voice carries through the air, "Oh man, Mr. Harris just wiped out Mr. Montgomery! No no, he's fine."

Keith speaks to you without looking back, "(y/n) hold on."

You quickly wrap your arms around his masculine chest.

'At least he isn't that mad to ignore me completely.'

"Big man lean right!"

Hunk quickly listens and leans right guiding the overworked machine to the right making it jump to another rock structure. That maneuver efficiently stops one of the two Garrison vehicles chasing you.

Your heart is pounding realizing that you're all heading towards a cliff.

"Uhh guys?!" Hunk promptly points out what you've just been dreading. "Is that a cliff up ahead?!"

You hear the screaming of your teammates behind you and Keith leans forward forcing you to do the same. He grips and twists the handlebars making the bike speed up while confirming Hunk's question.

"Yup."

You don't even have to look at him to know he has that hot stupid smirk on his face.

'Damn it. My heart just skipped a beat, and it's not because we're falling off a cliff.'

Lance continues to scream at Keith.

"What are you doing?! You're gonna kill us all!!"

Not giving Keith the time to respond, you answer Lance with your own yell while squeezing your eyes shut and squeezing Keith even tighter.

"Lance just shut up and trust him!"

Smoothly maneuvering his bike, Keith "lands" back on solid ground and zooms away.

You guys were alive.

Barely.

But that's beside the point.

(y/n's) Mental Bullshit Checklist

Save Shiro✔️

Almost get caught by the Garrison✔️

Almost die falling off a cliff✔️

Feel Keith's masculine chest✔️

You, Shiro, and Keith look at the sky as the sun begins to rise.

Once again, you blank out as you try to wrap your head around what had happened in the past few hours, missing Shiro and Keith's conversation and Shiro calling out your name.

"(-/n)"

"(y/n)"

"(y/n)!"

A sudden shake of your shoulder snapped you back into reality, making you turn your head towards Shiro who was looking at you worriedly and Keith who was looking down and his feet.

'Ah.'

'He's still upset.'

"Are you feeling okay (y/n)?" Shiro asks worriedly.

You look up at him, with a smile on your face and you cheerfully answer his question.

"Ahh Shiro, you haven't changed, always acting like a dad huh? If anything I should be asking you that question!"

His face showed mild surprise but then he chuckled and ruffled your hair making you squeal.

"You haven't changed much either (y/n). I'll be heading inside, are you two okay out here or are you gonna follow?"

Once again your focus falls on the rising sun.

"Nah, I think I'll just stay here for a bit longer. I can meet you guys in there a bit later."

"Okay, just be careful. You Keith?"

"I think I'll stay here a bit longer too. You can go meet up with the others."

You inwardly flinched. The two of you were going to be alone.

"Alright, I'll head back inside."

Now, it was just the two of you.

A light breeze past by, and you shivered. It was only then you realized you didn't have a jacket.

'I guess I didn't realize it was cold with everything going on.'

Your thoughts were once more interrupted by something getting draped around your shoulders.

Your eyes widened and you look over your shoulder to see Keith looking away from you now only in his black v-neck shirt.

You bashfully look away as you hold the collar of his jacket close so it stays on your shoulders, with your left arm hugging your body to keep the warmth. You mutter a quiet thanks only to have been met with silence.

It was like that for a while, until you couldn't help but speak.

"Keith I can-"

"Why were you with them?"

With your body now turned as to get a good look at him, you frowned as you process his question and because he still wouldn't look at you.

"Keith, they're my team, even if I didn't want to, I'd still go anyway. They're my best friends Keith you have to understa-"

"Are we not a team? Are we not best friends?"

You visibly irk as you get interrupted yet again.

"I never said that."

"You were thinking it."

"Dammit Keith! Let me talk!"

The purple-eyed boy finally turns to look at you with an agitated look on his face.

"Why should I?! You'll just leave like how everyone else did! It won't matter."

Frankly, you were hurt. Did he really think that you'd just leave him after years of memories and a childhood of growing up alongside each other? But, you understood why he was so upset. He was scared.

Not wanting to lose your childhood friend and your first love, you try and defuse the situation.

"Keith, I understand why you're so agitated right now, it's okay, I understand, I know-"

"Know what (y/n)?! You know nothing! You don't know anything! You don't understand anything!"

It's a good thing the both of you were at a far enough distance away from his shack.

He slowly walks towards you waving around his hands and arms to show how agitated he really was.

"What made you think you knew anything?!"

"Our friendship! Our trust! Our bond! Our everything Keith! Did any of that even matter to you?!"

"I don't think it mattered to you! If it did, you wouldn't have abandoned me! Especially since this was important to me!"

You couldn't believe your damn ears. You scoffed before yelling back, not caring about the tears starting to fall.

"I didn't fucking abandon you Keith! And don't you dare think that this thing was only important to you! Shiro means just as much to me and much as he does to you!"

"Then why the hell did you not show up?!"

"For God's sake, I was sleeping! Call it a lame excuse I don't care! Keith, I'm tired. Every single fucking day we're out till fucking daybreak. On top of that, I have class! I have training! It's fine for you because you don't even go to school anymore! You can sleep all day then explore all night! Me? I run every single day with less than four hours of sleep. It's a fucking blessing to even get one. I understand that you're scared! Cause I am too! We grew up together Keith! Do you know how devastated and worried I was after you got expelled?! I thought that was the end for us! Here you are yapping that you have it rough, that I abandoned you, and some other bullshit while I have it just as bad!"

Your voice was raw and cracking, tears streaming down your face, eyes starting to puff up, but at this point you didn't care. You didn't care if the others could hear you, you didn't care that Keith stopped yelling, you didn't care that his eyes finally softened and weren't sharp and spiteful anymore, you didn't care.

You didn't care because you felt your heart break. You want him to know. You want him to know how much you struggle every day, but most of all you want him to know how much you cared. You want him to know how much you care for him even if he doesn't really understand right now, even if he doesn't care for you as much as you do you, or if he doesn't care for you the way you want him to. You wanted him to know that you loved him. Him and only him. Even at the risk of rejection.

"(y/n)..."

"No! I listened to you, now you listen to me Keith Kogane! I understand that I hurt you! I understand that you have trust issues and that you don't want anyone to get too close only for them to leave, I understand! You don't want me to be another repeat of the people in the past; your mom, your dad, Shiro! I understand more than you think! I care about you so much so Keith...please."

At this point, Keith looked like he was going to cry too, and Keith never cries in front of you anymore.

"(Y-y/n) I-I didn't know. I-I'm sor-"

You stop him right there.

"Keith, you have nothing to apologize for. You didn't know cause I didn't tell you, I never wanted to tell you but but oh my God fuck. Keith, it's because I love you!"

There. It's out in the open. No going back now.

"I love you more than friends, more than best friends, more than siblings, Keith I love you with all of my heart! And it hurts so much seeing you like this. I don't need you to love me back, what I need you to do is to trust me. To trust me with everything you've got because there's no way in hell I'm going to get up and walk away from your life. I will always be there for you. I'm your best friend. Through thick and remember?"

You're choking on your own words, and your voice trembled with every other word you've said but it doesn't matter now. You did it. You confessed. Maybe now, your heart can be at peace.

You look up at the boy you've grown to love and you take a good look at him. His long dark locks, his captivating purple eyes, everything.

You take a good look because you believe that this is going to be the last good one you'll have. The last one before he'll shy away from you. But that's okay. It's okay because you'll always be there for him even if he won't be there for you.

You remove his jacket from your shoulders and gently take his hands placing the jacket into them. You feel his eyes on you and you look up at him placing a gentle smile on your features. You watch as his tear-streaked face looks at yours with so many emotions. More emotions than you've ever seen on him.

Your hands never left his and with one last act of bravery, you lean up and kiss his cheek.

You gently pull your hands out of his, and turn towards his shack.

You turn around and bravely smile at him and say, "I'll be heading back inside now okay? If you need anything, you know who to find."

You turn back around and you slowly walk away with one of your hands covering your mouth to cover up your soft sobs. You just really wanted a hug, and you plan on getting four big ones.

As for Keith, Keith can't seem to move.

Don't get mixed up, no no he isn't frozen because he couldn't believe his best friend just confessed to him.

Well actually that was one of the reasons, but that's not important right now.

Your confession and love? Oh boy, he thought that was only a crazy, hopeless dream. Something that he could've never thought would happen.

Let's face it, the boy's in love with you.

Head over heels really.

How could he not be?

You were a godsend in his eyes. You were kind to basically person that you've met, you're compassionate, you're intelligent, and so much more. Your good looks were only a bonus. And one of the most important things was that you were always there.

You were there to defend him, you were there to comfort him, you there to just be with him.

You were always there. You were there when he cried over his mom, you were there when his dad died, you were there when he found out about Shiro. You were right, the two of you went through thick and thin.

Getting back to the point, he couldn't seem to move was because he hurt you.

Yes, Keith can be an ass, but he's always made sure not to accidentally hurt you in any way shape, or form, but he did.

Seeing you with Lance, Hunk, and Pidge hurt. It stung like hell, but after what just happened, he knowing what he just did hurt far worse, but it hurt just a little bit more realizing that you would've probably planned on not letting him know about your struggles and pain ever. But, something changed, something changed your mind, so you told him.

Just like you wanted, you put your feelings and inner turmoils out in the open, and now he knows.

Seeing you standing there, pouring your feelings out to him voice raw and filled with emotions tears rapidly falling down your face, your trembling body, it, it was just too much for him.

And after you said that if he needed something, anything, he could go find you; it made him realize how he truly doesn't deserve you.

Yes, he has thought of it before. He can't help it with what seems like every single person in existence telling you that he's bad news or their doubts of him, and with his own insecurities. Truth be told, their words always end up right back into his head, no matter how long it's been.

"Stay away from Kogane"

"Don't get mixed up with that troublemaker."

'You don't deserve her.'

"(y/n) is that guy really your friend? He seems like he's a cold person."

"(y/n) that guy is trouble! Why do you hang out with him?!"

'She's too good for you.'

"Seriously, how are you (y/n)'s bestest friend?!"

"I always tell her to stay away! You're a bad influence on her!"

But even with all those words meant to scare you away, you stayed. He couldn't help but remember the words you told him long ago.

"Are you dumb?! I'd never leave you Keith! We'll go through thick and thin together remember?!"

It was then when Keith made his decision.

You were almost at the front door. Surprisingly not one of the four boys three actually, but you didn't know that yet checked outside after all that yelling. Not like they heard any of it

You were lost in your thoughts. Thoughts about Keith, your past, your pain, who would give the most comforting hug right now probably Hunk when someone I wonder who it could be grabbed your wrist and tugged you back so you would be facing him.

Knowing who it was you kept your eyes shut as if you didn't, you knew you were going to cry.

But Keith was stubborn. You of all people know that better than anyone.

"(y/n) look at me."

Keith was stubborn but it didn't mean that you weren't too.

Keith's voice cracked.

"(y/n) please."

Your resolve wavered, and it seems your hesitation was obvious as Keith softly spoke, "You don't have to say anything, I just want you to hear what I have to say."

You hesitantly opened your eyes and you could already feel your eyes watering again.

Keith's entire being seemed to deflate soften at your state.

"Okay, I know I don't deserve you, much less deserve you taking your time to listen to me right now but I just want you to know that I love you."

Your eyes widened. You weren't sure what you were expecting but it certainly wasn't that.

"Keith, if you're just saying that to-"

"(n/n) I promise you that I'm not just saying it because you said it to me. I'm saying it because I truly do love you."

Your voice was stuck in your throat and you gently shake off his hold on your wrist. You opt for wrapping your arms around yourself.

Your glassy eyes showed confusion and panic.

"I-I don't understand," you shakily argued.

"(y/n) you've always been there for me and that's something I will always be grateful for, and it's one of the many reasons why I fell for you."

You didn't respond. Instead, you continued to listen to him. You listened to him because he was allowing himself to be vulnerable. Even Keith was surprised by his own actions. Yes, times and times again has this broken boy show you his vulnerability, but he always made the effort to do so in a private setting.

Not right outside his door with his brother figure and three strangers waiting for him inside.

Keith gently tilts his head, "(y/n)..."

"Thank you. Thank you so much."

You softly gasped, not expecting the purple-eyed boy to give you his thanks.

From your angle you see a small smile on the boy's face which make your eyes water even more than they already have and your tears once again fall down your face, but at a slower speed.

"I will always appreciate you, and I will always be grateful for all the things you've done for me growing up. I love you. I love you so much, but I'm so sorry that I've been hurting you all this time. I understand if you'd rather go out with Lance seeing as he looks out for you-"

You cut him off with a tight hug that is filled to the brim with love, affection, and warmth. So much warmth. Keith is remain frozen not knowing what to do.

He wants to hug you so badly, but remains from doing so because he doesn't want to hurt you again, but he hears you mumble something that gives him so much reassurance, so much that he forgets all about his insecurities involving you.

"It's okay, Keith. We're okay."

With that, Keith's eyes start to glisten and he gives in and just lets go of reality for a moment to hug you. To hug you and let his tears fall because he knows he's safe with you.

That you are his home and he is yours in return.

(y/n's) Mental Bullshit Checklist

Release and spill all your feeling onto best friend✔️

Act like a crybaby in front of your best friend✔️

Confess to your best friend✔️

Think you get rejected by best friend✔️

Find out your feelings are reciprocated ✔️

omake!! :D

"Are you two getting inside or not?! We kinda have an alien problem on our hands!!"

You and Keith jolt out of your hug not expecting to be interrupted by your team pilot at such a vulnerable bonding moment. The both of you turn your heads to see Lance sticking himself out the window shaking his fist into the air as if he was an old geezer yelling at little kids to get off his lawn.

You see Keith visibly irk and you sweat drop seeing Lance duck back inside closing the window letting out a small shriek.

"Remind me to stab him later."

You look up at the boy who's still glaring at the now closed window and softly chuckle before letting out a small "don't" but a teeny weensy small side of you secretly not minding the planned assault.

You hoped Lance knew how dodge.

278 notes · View notes

ask-rp-devra · 4 years ago

Text

With autumn slowly creeping in, the team was busy every day, getting ready for the winter to come. The crops looked good, morning dew on them as the professor stumbled out with a few Pokemon, taking them out for a morning stretch and bathroom break. She ambled about the garden, mindlessly eating a berry or two, pulling the odd weed out, while sipping coffee in the quiet. It wouldn’t be long before the Galar region was to open a new area up to the general public, and seeing as the team now had a galarian resident on it, the woman decided it’d be wise to go back and get the remainder of Devra’s Pokemon. They’d been stashed at her family home from what she had gathered, and now the gates were being fully opened, they could apply to move to johto, to the island. She had to admit, the idea of the tundra area becoming accessible was a little daunting, peach had never been too resilient in the cold. Perhaps this would be a good test for her. Val was going to come along for this trip, she planned to just go for a field visit with her Pokemon, but with Devs enthusiasm to explore too, it seemed wise to team up and go together on the trip. The young intern had been steadily learning, and because of her, Peach was freed up to do more work in other areas, now less busy with the herds of non-grass types. She did however get to visit for fun more, which she had to admit was enjoyable. Secret meetings with the stantler had become her lunch breaks as of late, they all seemed very calm with the big leader around, Donut, peach’s dear baby boy. Sadly he couldn’t come with her on the trip, he would have been a perfect fit for the area and it’s cold.

Perhaps it’d be nice to just start fresh, see who she ended up with as a team. Her hand found Val mid thought, petting her stupidly warm body. At least they could get some time together. Val had been so upset about not being able to go to Galar the first time round, so now was the chance to make it up to the Pokemon.

Devra was up an hour before sunrise, a rhythm to her day now that just came easily to her now. She would get up, get dressed for the days needs, then feed her main team of Pokémon first. Once they were taken care of she made her way outside, heading over to the main stable and barn of her little pocket of the island. She went inside and flicked on some of the lights, not wanting to startle the sleeping Pokémon awake. Never the less, she was still greeted by some happy calls from stalls scattered around the building, the Pokémon inside having grown used to Devra’s routine by now. She grabbed her push cart full of different feed mixtures, humming to herself as she started feeding everyone down one side of the building then working her way back down the other side. The last stall she always took care of was that housing her favorite family. Her partner Pokémon Fiona was laying in hay next to her mate, Peach’s Pokémon Titan. While they still dozed there was already a nose poking over the stall door, little Aliza always excited to see her mom’s favorite human.

Not too long after her coffee, peach had thrown an outfit on, and ambled towards the stables, she needed a mount today, and figured it was a good time to pop across, see how everyone was doing. A few members of the barn groups had to be checked on, at least once or twice a week, peach could leave the busy work to Devra and she appreciated it, but still had to go do the general health checks needed to keep everyone monitored, especially as the winter was threatening to roll in heavily. She kicked the door too a bit, Val going in first, clocking Devra, leaning over the stall door to pet the young ponyta. Upon seeing peach Titan stretched his neck as high as possible, able to see over the stall doors, giving a cry to ‘come over here’.

“morning everyone, Dev, Fiona, lil baby bean lady. She smushed Alisa’s little face briefly before focusing on her big fire type who stayed lying down. “Buddy, parenthood has slowed you down.” She teased the Rapidash, his body finally getting up, looking more sprightly now, putting his entire face in hers, hot gross morning breath and all.

Devra had moved down a few stalls by the time the Professor came in. She had just opened the door to the pasture, letting out a handful of wooloo out so she could clean their stall. She grinned she heard her name called. “Morning Professor! Hi Valka!” She dusted herself off and went to join them, grinning as she watched Peach. “Titan had a particularly rude wake up call today. Aliza tried to jump over him again. Failed terribly though. Knocked the wind out of both of them for a second. I watched them though. They both got over it quick. And Fiona gave the little bean a good scolding.” She sighed, giving her own rapidash attention as she finally got up to the door.

“certainly giving them both a lot to deal with day to day. She’s getting so boisterous now.” Aliza was running in and out of the entry to the paddocks, running circles around a stray girafarig, small in size but otherwise ordinary looking. “you been spending time with her recently? She’s about ready to start doing some proper training, got all that energy and no where to direct it.” With a final pat to the family, they seemed happy to go out to graze.

the professor wandered from stall to stall, some Pokemon remaining in to avoid the morning frost, greeting her as she passed by. “‘have you given any thought to who to take with you on our trip back to Galar?” She mindlessly hung up any stray harnesses, returning items to their homes.

She followed along with the Professor, opening doors and adding water or feed here and there as they went. “I’m not sure. I was thinking Zek or Fiona. But Zek has gotten really into it with the bug community around here. The little ones love playing with him so much. They use him as a slide! But I think he really likes it too. He never turns them down. And Fiona...I think she’d like to stay with her man. We don’t know how long we’re going to be there after all.” She sighed, rubbing her neck as she let out three Kanto ponyta. “It’s a real head scratcher.”

The colder climate was an oncoming issue to prep for, hearing she had thought through taking Zek was very logical. That centiscorch had a lovely nature to travel with.

“‘how about the youngster, Aliza. She’s about ready to start seeing the world, and we won’t be gone for too long.” The family looked happy out in the field, but it was noticeable how much energy the little hybrid ponyta had now. The professor stooped to pet a passing wumple, placing him higher up to avoid getting stepped on.

“‘there’s also potentially one other Pokemon you might want to see before you make your mind up, rung of the litter, a bit scrappy but a good strong hybrid.” She left a lot of details out, the Pokemon she had in mind for the trip was a particularly fun little guy, but they had yet to home him. Perhaps this would be a good fit for both the Pokemon and Devra.

Devra finished the last of her tasks, closing the stall as she turned to Peach. “I was entertaining the idea of taking Aliza. It would be nice to have a good strong bond with her.” She brushed herself off again as they left the barn. “Well, if you think it’s a good idea to take a look then I’d love to see the little guy.”

The last time peach had checked the Pokemon in question was up near the water plant. Professor Grey was the owner of the young pokemons father, a rather gentle houndoom, who had been a household pet to both peach and grey for a fair few years now. The mother of the Pokemon was an arcanine, and having had her pups and completed her rehabilitation, she had since been rehomed, along with several brothers and sisters, all beautiful hybrids. The last, however, was very small and so he stayed behind and got extra care. Peach had been overly quiet, forgetting to speak out loud sometimes.

“I think you’ll really like them, they’re a bit different.”

Devra grinned as her friend Mel, a sweet little Chatot came over to join her. “I’m always up to meeting new Pokémon. And you know I’m a sucker for different. That part of the reason I’m so excited to go explore the Crown Tundra.”

She nodded once in response and glanced up at the clock hanging at the end of the barn.

“want to go now? Not got any patients until later today.”

She looked around the barn, doing one last run through of her mental checklist. “I’ve got the morning rounds done. And anyone that wants in the pasture is already outside. So I don’t see why we can’t go now.”

#professor peach #pokemon #crown tundra

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come-on-shitty-boys · 4 years ago

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//catching cooties. sugawara koushi//

Warnings: Mild swearing. Time-skip!Sugawara, so small spoiler warning

Word Count: 1.75K

Notes: I have so many requests to fill, but also Koushi hit me hard in the face with a book and said, “Love me.” Who was I to refuse? Koushi with kids? Y E S

Wallet. Phone. Keys. Bag. Coffee.

It was a routine at this point. Sugawara never left the house in the morning without those five things and it had been that way for almost four years. He would tuck his wallet in his back pocket of his pants and his phone in the front. The lanyard with all of his keys hung around his neck so he could back his bag for the day, sliding in folders of graded work, his book of lesson plans, his planner, anything he might have brought home to finish working on. He would place a kiss on your cheek, your nose, then your lips before taking his thermos from you, a tired “I love you” taking the place of words of thanks.

This shouldn’t have thrown him off as much as it did. You had the day off and decided to sleep in rather than wake up with his alarm like you usually would, but after so long of getting ready in the bathroom together, laughing over toaster-waffles, and gentle good-bye kisses, not having you awake to start his morning really messed up his routine. You weren’t peppering his face with kisses, trying to get him awake and when he would have inevitably rolled over, begging, “Five more minutes, please,” you didn’t lay on top of him and poke his cheeks until his eyes finally blinked open, that low groan leaving his lips as the morning sun filtered in through the blinds.

The loud ringing of his alarm at 5:30 had you shoving your head under a pillow while your husband desperately reached around for the snooze button. But, it seemed like hours had passed since then and yet, you and Koushi were still snuggled together under the warmth of the comforter. Your eyelids lifted heavily, reaching for your phone on the nightstand.

Those small numbers on the screen had you sitting up straight in a matter of milliseconds, a hand on your husband's shoulder, desperately shaking him awake. “Koushi, you need to get up.”

But, instead of heeding your words, he wrapped his arms securely around your waist, trying to nuzzle his face into your body. Sugawara Koushi was lost to the world, sleeping like an absolute log, not like that was anything new to you.

“Baby, it’s quarter after 7,” you say firmly, prying his hands off of you. On a normal morning, he’d be getting ready to leave. He’d be standing at the kitchen island, humming to himself while he packed his bag, but instead, here he was, still fast asleep.

But, oh, did the sound of that seven have his eyes opening at an alarming rate. Sugawara reached for his phone, praying that maybe you were lying to him, that maybe this was just some kind of prank to get him up, but that ‘7:17’ was too real to ignore. He threw the covers off, a frustrated “Shit!” being the only good morning exchanged. You can’t remember the last time that you had seen him move so fast. In less than five minutes, he was buttoning his shirt, jumping around the bedroom as if that would get his pants on any faster, a black belt being threaded through the loops and the light jingle of the buckle adding to the frantic atmosphere of the morning.

Koushi fumbled around, opening and closing drawers, a pair of socks in his hand, but the stress never left his eyes. “Where the hell did I put it? Not in the bathroom. Not on the nightstand,” he mutters under his breath, eyes scanning every possible surface in the room.

“What are you looking for, Kou?”

“Have you seen my watch?”

“I think you put it on the coffee table last night. I’ll go see,” you say, starting to get out of bed, but a pair of hands is pushing you back down to the mattress.

“No, you don’t have to work today. You should relax, sweetheart. Don’t worry about me.” Even amidst all his panic, Sugawara Koushi still continued to be the loving man that had your heart fluttering all of those years ago. The gentle tone to his voice and the soft kiss that he planted on your forehead was all it took to get you to lay back down, adhering to his wishes.

It was nearly 7:45 before you heard the familiar checklist leaving your husband’s lips. “Wallet. Phone. Keys. Bag. Coffee.” He did the signature pat of each item, nodding as everything he needed was accounted for. “Are we still getting lunch?” He asks, a hopeful smile on his face as he looks at you in the mirror, checking his appearance one final time.

“The noodle place on Sixth, right?”

“They have the best udon. You’re going to love it! I can meet you at noon, okay?” Sugawara leans down to place his routine kisses to your face, each small peck leaving your head feeling fuzzy from his tender touches.

The sound of the door closing behind him should’ve been the end to the chaos. You should have been able to rest your eyes for a few more hours and then go about enjoying your lazy day. But, alas, it seemed like you had only just closed your eyes and your phone was already playing that familiar tone to signal Koushi’s incoming call. “What’s up, Kou?”

He must’ve heard the exhaustion laced in those few syllables, because you could almost see the sadness in his eyes from the sorrowful tone. “I woke you up, didn’t I? I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

“You’re okay, baby. What’s going on? Is something wrong?”

“Well, kind of? Hikari, give Ryouta the cap to his marker back, please,” he states, the sharp contrast in the voice that he used with you and his ‘teacher's voice’ coming through as he switched from addressing you to his students. “Sorry about that. Anyway, in all of the commotion this morning, I think I forgot my grade book. Which wouldn’t be a big deal most days, but the end of the quarter is coming up and I’m already behind and-”

“I’ll be there soon, Koushi.”

He breathes a sigh of relief. “What would I do without you,” he says, the traces of his smile filtering into your ear.

“Not get your grade book, that’s for sure,” you laugh, swinging your legs off the edge of the bed. “I’ll see you in a bit, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you, sweetheart. It should be in the kitchen. If not, check the dining room. I would love to chat with you more, but I’m pretty sure the principal just walked by my door and saw me on my phone . . . So, I’m going to let you go, but I love you!”

“I love you too, Koushi. I’ll be there in about thirty minutes.”

“Okay, thank you again, seriously,” he says quietly, waiting for you to hum your response before he ends the call, sliding his phone back into his desk drawer.

Sugawara’s fingers laced through his hair as he leaned back in his chair. He couldn’t remember the last time that he had had a day that was this out of sorts. It seemed like everything that could go wrong, did. As if almost being late wasn’t enough, he had spilled his coffee on his way to work, a brown stain would be exposed on the cuff of his white shirt if he hadn’t rolled the sleeves up to his elbows. He had misplaced his lesson plans with all of his worksheets, a good explanation as to why his students had spent most of the morning doing arts and crafts rather than practicing sight words and their basic math skills. But, nonetheless, Mr. Sunshine himself never let his smile fade, keeping his energy up to give his students the best day possible.

The way his smile relaxed in relief at the sound of a knock on his classroom door was indescribable. It was like a wave of comfort had washed over him knowing that you were right there just a few feet away. There was a curious hush that fell over his students as they all turned their heads towards the door, markers and coloring pages now forgotten at the exciting prospect of a visitor. Had Mr. Sugawara planned a surprise party for them? Was one of them being called to the office to be picked up? But, you can imagine their shocked faces when the door was swung open to reveal some random person that they had never seen before.

Koushi, nonetheless, enveloped you in a tight hug, whispering gentle words of thanks against your skin over and over again as he took his grade book from your hands. The feeling of your body melding perfectly against his, just as it always had, had him melting against you, desperate for the comforting feeling of your hands tangling in his hair or running up and down his arms, but he was at work. He couldn’t relish in the sensation of your touch no matter how much he wanted to.

“Mr. Suga, sir?” One of his students piped up causing their teacher to pull away, that normal wide smile on his face.

“What’s up, kiddo?”

“Do you hug everyone who comes to your door?”

Sugawara laughed lightly as he shook his head. He reached down to take your hand, his thumb tracing along the back of your knuckles. The light tap of his fingers against the back of your hand in a silent, “I love you” made a small smile rise to your lips. “I don’t usually hug people when I answer the door, but this is my wife, so I thought I would make an exception.”

Another student raised their hand, speaking only when Sugawara called their name. “What’s a wife?”

“Well, it’s what people call the girl that you marry.”

“What if you marry a boy?”

“Then they’re called a ‘husband.’ So, Y/N is my wife and I’m her husband. Does that make sense?”

“But, don’t girls have cooties?” A little boy called out, scrunching up his features in disgust at the thought of getting anywhere near a girl.

Koushi grings gently in your direction, bumping his shoulder playfully against yours. “Some girls are just worth catching cooties for.”

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #sugawara x reader #sugawara #suga #sugawara koushi #koushi #imagine #x reader #fluff #idk i feel like i usually have more tags?#but i can't remember any of them for some reason?#timeskip!sugawara

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enigmainvestigations · 4 years ago

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AO3 post: ??? Series link: ???

Some of the paint was chipping off the mural. Its massive length spanned almost the entire wall of the walkway, making it almost fifteen feet long. The painting was rather crude in its depiction of the island, juvenile, as if it was created by an unskilled artist. Most of it was large blue strokes to represent water, with a large slab of green floating in the middle in an attempt to resemble the island. Blots of green brush strokes depicted trees, with blue four-leafed flowers speckling the landscape. The island was void of any buildings, except for a tiny mansion perched on the top of the green blob. At least the artist hadn’t taken too much liberty with the scale and hadn’t tried to make the mansion appear much larger than it should. There was tiny writing next to the mansion. It read: "Gotham House of Madness and Ill Humors"

Edward Nigma took a step back from the mural and concluded that perhaps it wasn’t supposed to be some beautiful depiction of a rich family’s property. But it did seem odd. What was the point of the mural if it was only going to be a slab of green painted over a slab of blue? And that begged the question: why was it painted at all? He tilted his head to look down the walkway to the mural’s end and heard someone call his last name from the hall behind him. They were far away, and he decided he didn’t need to hurry with his examination. Looking down to the other end of the mural, he saw there was a tiny blotch in the water, and Edward assumed it was supposed to be a boat. Strange to paint only one, he thought.

“Nigma.” The voice called again. This time it was much closer, and followed by the sounds of heavy footsteps advancing in his direction. They slowed as the orderly drew nearer and came to a stop at his side. “I know you heard me calling you. If ya wanna know what I think, that’s not the best way to start your first day in the wing.”

Edward ignored him and lifted a finger to point at the mural. “I’ve never seen this before.”

The orderly looked at the mural and shrugged. “Welp, you’ve never been in this wing before.”

“Doesn’t it seem strange to you?” Edward asked.

“Out of all the strange things I see in this building, it’s probably on the least strange side a’ things.” The orderly shifted his feet and waved a hand in front of Edward’s face to break his concentration on the painting. “You can stare at this later, alright? Dr. Leland wants ta see you.”

Edward found that odd. He had spoken to her yesterday morning, and she had implied it’d be a while before they’d speak again. A chime broke out over the loudspeakers, signifying the guard shift change. Edward let out a deep sigh and turned toward the orderly, noting the slight show of fear in his eyes. “Alright then, ready when you are.”

The man looked suspicious, yet grateful of Edward’s compliance. “Thanks, Edward. I’ll escort you over there.”

Normally, that suggestion would get on Edward’s nerves. It was understandable that a patient might need supervision, but it always felt like they were implying he needed babysitting, as if he’d fall down the elevator shaft if he was left on his own. Currently, though, he didn’t mind the offer. Not all of the guards were aware of his transfer, and the last thing he needed was for one to spot him and sound the alarm in fear of his attempted escape. That was the last thing he wanted, he didn’t feel like being tackled to the ground today.

As the two men proceeded down the hallway, the vapid sound of speech hit Edward’s ears. He was coming to the decision he didn’t like this ward as much as the Rutan Wing. Initially, he’d found the more populated wing to be more exciting. The groups of people were a welcome change after his previous surroundings outside the asylum, but those feelings were wearing off quickly. At least the Rutan Wing was quiet and mostly empty. It wasn’t entirely a “Wing” of the asylum, just a smaller ward, but his room had a decent view of the Trigate Bridge. The dayroom was typically empty, and he’d spent most of his time reading or listening to the guard’s radio at the security station. At the time, he felt that the lack of activity was dull, and he was itching for a change in the environment.

But, last night the orderlies and guards had come to his room and said he was being transferred. He’d assumed they were taking him to a more secure area of the asylum. But they’d brought him here, the wing at the front; the least secure wing in the whole building. At first, he’d seen this as an achievement. If Dr. Leland was moving him to the front wing, it must be a statement about his progress. That he could be trusted with less supervision, and that he was getting better. He’d never even seen these wards before, and it was fascinating to see how the non-threatening patients experienced the asylum. They were allowed to wander around the halls freely -- well, mostly freely. But, it was certainly much more freedom than Edward was used to on this island.

The issues that arose became clear rather fast. Since the other patients had more freedom, it meant he had to interact with them more than usual, and they interacted with him with much curiosity. He started to find the chatter, noise, and hectic energy of the ward unsettling. So unsettling that he found himself wandering the halls until he found a spot where the echoing voices were much quieter. His tiny room in Rutan was starting to sound like paradise compared to this.

The orderly motioned Edward down the hall that led to the main clerical offices. He’d been there a few times during his frequent lock-ups in the facility. Usually, it was during his multiple escapes from his cell -- either breaking into offices to snoop for information, or for stealing certain supplies to aid in a more dramatic escape from the asylum. He’d always enjoyed watching the police and guards try to figure out how he’d disappeared, or how he’d gathered the supplies to enact his theatrical exit. It had always been an exciting experience being here, until the Bat had designed him a new cell. Then he began to understand why the others disliked their confinement in Arkham so deeply.

The two men stopped at Dr. Leland’s office door, and Edward watched as the orderly knocked and opened the door for him to enter. “Nigma is here for his appointment, doctor.”

Dr. Leland thanked the orderly and motioned for Edward to sit in the guest seat in front of her desk. Sitting down, he made himself comfortable, though it was mostly for appearances. Dr. Joan Leland wasn’t an unintelligent woman, regardless of her sense of morality that certainly made her do stupid things. She was one of the “good ones,” believing that the patients in this asylum were capable of rehabilitation and living normal lives. This belief had remained firm, even after the magnitude of evidence she’d witnessed that proved she might be wrong.

Edward watched the doctor finish filing some paperwork, and he resisted the urge to fidget his fingers. Dr. Leland was smart and observant; she would certainly notice his unease. But Edward knew that she also didn’t do things without reason, and there were too many odd occurrences to indicate something was going on with his situation. Putting a file away in her desk drawer, the doctor finally looked at him -- right in the eye, as she usually did.

“Hello, Dr. Leland,” Edward said, trying to sound casual.

“Hello, Edward. How are you liking the Thayer Wing?” Dr. Leland asked with her typical direct approach.

“It's okay.”

“Just okay?” Dr. Leland arched her brow.

It looked like she found that in conflict with what she’d assumed, so Edward adjusted. “I'm enjoying the broader freedoms. I spent all morning in the library, that was enjoyable.”

Dr. Leland eyed him closely. She did this quite often, and it was obvious she did so when she was trying to decipher if Edward was lying. “That's good, I had a feeling you'd take advantage of that amenity immediately.” She scribbled down a few notes, then gave him a calm smile. “How are you adjusting to the people? The wing is much more populated than what you’re used to, has that been a concern?”

“No.” Edward lied.

Dr. Leland didn’t catch the deception and began writing down a few more notes in his file. “I see. I know it's just been one day, but how do you feel about the new schedule?”

Edward found that a bit strange. He hadn’t been told of any schedule changes, but he decided not to dwell on it. “It's alright.”

The doctor nodded and flipped through a few pages in his patient logs. “I see your stitches were removed… you have a clean bill of health.” Signing off on some of the papers, she finally looked him in the eye again. “Are you still in communication with Ms. Quinzell?”

“No,” Edward said, a slight chuckle in his voice.

“Really?” Dr. Leland’s brow arched again.

Edward sighed. “You monitor everything I do, doc. You'd know before I would if she was trying to get in contact with me.”

The doctor leaned back in her seat, tapping her pen between her fingers as she examined him and Edward examined her in return. It seemed strange that she was more concerned about his contact with Harley than his adjustment to the new wing. He was starting to feel like she was going down some kind of checklist, but for what, he couldn’t imagine.

“If she does try to contact you, what would you do?”

Edward huffed. “I doubt she would, but I would just tell her to leave me alone.”

“You would?”

“Yes,” Edward answered, annoyance showing in his voice. “I'm sorry, doc, but what is going on here?”

“What makes you think something is?” After the words left her mouth, she appeared to catch herself and waved an apologetic hand in his direction. “I'm sorry, Edward. Sometimes it’s difficult to get my mind to drop old habits with you.” Dr. Leland set her pen down and rested her elbows on the desktop. “Edward, we had our meeting with the superintendents today. When Dr. Young heard about your progress, she was very impressed.”

That wasn’t the answer he was expecting, and he found himself confused on how best to respond. “Is that a good thing for me?”

Dr. Leland paused, and her eyes averted from Edward’s for a brief moment. “Things are being run differently here now. With new head doctors, new procedures --”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Edward cut her off. “Jerry is dead, and now things are different. I’ve heard all of that enough since I’ve been back. Can I ask you to please skip the public relations speech and just get to the point? Or would that request be considered part of my unproductive personality traits?”

“You're being released, Edward.” The doctor said flatly.

“I'm what, now?”

Dr. Leland paused again and folded her fingers together in an attempt to seem more forthcoming. “The head doctors think that, since you've progressed in your treatment, and you aren't exhibiting any aggressive tenancies -- they think you're a good candidate for the supervised release program.”

Edward stared at her, his disbelief apparent on his face. He let out a small chuckle. “This is a joke. This has got to be a joke, right?”

“No, it's not a joke.”

His eyes narrowed and his mouth was slightly agape as the weight of what she’d said set in. “Have you all gone insane? Has everyone in this building lost their minds? You can't release me.”

Dr. Leland jumped on that statement, quickly adding, “Why is that, Edward?”

“I can't go out there! I'm me!” he exclaimed, though tightly gripped the armrests of his chair to control his temper. Dr. Leland was watching him closely, her eyes searching for something as if she was looking for a clarification of some sort. Edward could feel his pulse rising and a tremble beginning in his hands. He leaned forward and spoke calmly, yet directly. “Look me in the eye, doc, and tell me you think I'm ready to be a part of society.”

The doctor contemplated that question for a moment before averting her eyes again. “You are no longer a danger to yourself or to others. That is the major reason you were the property of the state.”

Edward scoffed. “Oh, so now that I'm not dangerous I'm suddenly not "crazy" anymore, and I get kicked out?”

Dr. Leland’s eye very subtly twitched. “That's the way the rules work.”

Edward’s grip tightened on the armrests, his eyes darting around as his mind tried to come up with a solution. “Can I re-admit myself?”

“We're an asylum for the criminally insane, Edward, so, no. But you can admit yourself to a different hospital.”

“I can't believe this,” he said as he threw his hands up in exasperation.

Dr. Leland leaned forward, and lowered her voice in an attempt to calm him. “Edward, I know this is frightening. But you will have another doctor to continue to help you adjust --”

“I don’t want another doctor, I want you to be my doctor!” He noticed a somber realization flicker in her eyes, and he tried to slow his breathing. She had been his most frequently appointed doctor whenever he was at the asylum, and, once he’d made the decision to reach out, she’d been willing to listen to him. But that had taken years of sessions, years of him playing with her mind and refusing to speak. He’d had time to observe her, and he knew she would honestly provide assistance. The thought of talking with someone new was inconceivable.

Edward released his grip on the chair and rested his elbows on the desktop in front of him. “Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to just -- to start taking this seriously, and start letting my guard down?”

Dr. Leland leaned in more as well. “I know that was very hard for you, and I know that you can do it again.” Her expression was strong, as if she was trying to show him how much she believed those words. “Your new doctor won’t have as many patients, they’ll be able to give you more personalized care. It will be better for you.”

“Who are they?” Edward asked in a huff, “Who is my new doctor?”

A hint of sadness flared in Dr. Leland’s eye, and she tried to cover it up with a small smile. “I’m not sure, yet.”

“Wonderful.” He sighed and flopped back in his chair.

“Edward, you can do this,” she said, and her strong expression returned. “You need to keep reminding yourself why you wanted to make a change in your life. Keep that as your cornerstone, and try not to lose focus.”

He shook his head, still in disbelief, “I don’t… have anywhere to go.”

Dr. Leland gave him another sad smile. “You’ll be put on an assistance program. They’ll help you find a place to live, a place to work, and you’ll have some money to help you pay your bills.”

Edward chuckled at that. Yeah, I bet plenty of landlords in this city will be jumping at the chance to have you as a tenant, his thoughts chimed in, and he immediately tried to ignore them.

“How long?” He asked.

“I’m sorry?”

“How long until you all kick me out of here?”

“It takes about a week to get all the paperwork in order.” Noticing the cynical look on his face, Dr. Leland continued, “You can spend that time wisely. You should be thinking about what profession you’d like to go into.”

“What?” That statement yanked him from his internal thoughts.

“Well, you won’t be a criminal, and you’ll have a stamp of approval from the asylum. You should start considering what you’d like to do for employment. You’re very good at gathering information, perhaps you could be a journalist, or a researcher for one of the papers.”

Edward began fidgeting in his chair, and the trembling in his hands started to die down. That was a thought, but completely out of the question. If he was going to be out on the streets, the news of his release was going to spread like a wildfire in the underworld. And working for any news outlet would put him too close to the criminal activity in the city. That line of work would be unreasonably dangerous for him at the moment, but the suggestion had triggered his thoughts to wander. There were other professions he could get involved in, especially if he wanted to stay off of everyone’s radar.

Despite what the state might intend, he was sure they were going to have difficulty finding even a grocer that would allow him to mop their floors for a few measly cents a week. He could already see the hurdles they would have to jump through to find him employment, and something he’d heard on the guard’s radio in Rutan snuck into his memory. The city was desperate for new business owners after all the carnage on the streets the last few months. Many people had had to close down, and migration into the city had trickled down to nothing. The newscaster on the radio often mentioned the officials’ constant complaining about the dwindling funds in the budget.

His doctor shifted in her seat, and the movement pulled him out of his thoughts. She was staring at him, still examining him with those searching eyes. Dr. Leland normally would allow him to get lost in his thoughts, and she rarely interrupted him when he did. But, this time, she looked more curious than usual.

“Did that help calm you down, Edward?” She asked.

He slowly let out a breath, “Yeah.”

“Good. Just remember, you have more possibilities now than you did before, and many more options at your disposal. You don’t have to leave here and get lost again.”

Edward looked her in the eye, “Can I ask for something?”

“That depends on what it is.”

“Can I have some reading material?” Seeing her apprehension, he swiftly explained. “I just want to refresh my memory on the laws, and the current services available for opening a business.”

Dr. Leland tilted her head. “I don’t see why we couldn’t get you some books on the requirements. However, you’re going to have a lot of paperwork to go through the next few days. There is a lot of information you’ll need to get familiar with concerning the current services available to the survivors.” She picked up her pen and scribbled down something on one of her notepads. “I’d suggest you read through all of it, no matter how daunting the volume might be. Those conditions and services apply to you, too, remember.”

He gave a weak shrug. “I’ve never been intimidated by large volumes of information, doctor.”

She attempted to hide a smirk, and gave him a stern look. “Read through all of it, Edward.”

“Okay, fine. I’ll read through it.”

She nodded her approval, then turned her attention down to her notes. She pretended to contemplate them for a moment, and then looked back up at him and fixed her gaze with his. “I know we already went over this, but I’d like to go back to the subject of Ms. Quinzell.” She ignored Edward’s eye roll and set his large patient file aside. “It is a source of concern for me, Edward. I want to ensure that I have explained my position fully before you leave this facility.”

“What else is there --” Edward stopped himself, and his lips thinned. Taking a deep breath, he let it out and motioned for her to continue. “I’m sorry, doc. Go ahead, what is your concern?”

Dr. Leland seemed pleased with his composure. “I know you said you aren’t going to be in communication with her, but you haven’t ever fully explained why you two were in such close communication while she was here. The two of you haven’t ever been hostile toward each other, but you two also never paid much attention to one another. My concern is that something is going on.” She set her pen back down, and her shoulders slumped. “I’m not trying to pry into your personal business, but I’m afraid that if she contacts you then you will talk to her. I don’t think that is a good idea.”

Edward nodded and opened his mouth to speak, but Dr. Leland beat him to it.

“You are doing the hard work to try to live a better life. Ms. Quinzell spent her time here exhibiting her usual behavior, and then escaped from the facility. In my opinion, she is not on the same path that you are, and any communication with her would be detrimental to your rehabilitation.”

Edward fidgeted in his seat and nodded again. “I know, doctor. I think my reluctance to talk about this situation might have given you the wrong idea. Harley and I just -- we had very different experiences during the lockdown. I know it will sound cruel of me to say so, but I was genuinely really surprised that she survived. I was just curious how she did, that’s all. Honestly, doc, that’s it.”

Dr. Leland wasn’t buying that explanation, Edward could see it on her face, so he kept going. “And, I felt like I could talk to her about our experiences. It was easier to discuss it with her, since she was there, albeit under different circumstances, considering her side.”

Dr. Leland perked up, but she did a decent job of not letting her eagerness show too much, “You spoke to Ms. Quinzell about your time on the island?”

“Yeah. As I said, it was easier to talk to someone who already knew a lot of the circumstances.”

“Did it help to talk to her?”

“Kind of. Not really, actually.” Edward ruffled his hair, mentally kicking himself for bringing up the subject. “She understood some things, but -- I mean, it helped at first, but, now, I don’t know.” Edward adjusted his glasses and looked his doctor in the eye. “You don’t have to worry about me talking to her. Harley made her position quite clear, she has no intentions of quitting her criminal behavior. I don’t even see why she’d contact me, since I made my position clear as well.”

Dr. Leland stared at him in silence. She wasn’t showing any tells, but Edward could see it: she was still suspicious. Eventually, she stood from her seat and gave him a final look, “If she contacts you--”

“I won’t speak to her,” Edward confirmed.

The doctor nodded and picked up his patient file, setting it on the filing cabinet behind her. “I apologize for having to cut this discussion short, but I have a patient to assess. I’ll see to it that we get you those legal texts. If you need anything from me, just tell one of the nurses or the orderlies that you’d like to speak with me.”

Edward agreed and stood from his chair. The doctor stepped around her desk, and Edward moved backward toward the wall to keep a safe distance between them. Watching him, a smile crept across Dr. Leland’s lips. “You don’t need to keep your distance from me, Edward. You’re not in Intensive anymore.”

Hearing her words, he felt a bit foolish. He nodded to her to show that he understood, but remained standing by the wall. Dr. Leland took a step toward him, her smile shifting to a calmer one. “You’ll be alright. Just try not to let your negative thoughts hold you back, and stay on course. If you need me --”

“Yeah, don’t worry. I know where you work, I’m sure I can find you if I need you.” Edward said, triggering a small chuckle from Dr. Leland.

He walked with her out of the office, and she motioned for one of the guards to get Edward an escort. “So, thinking of making your own business. What line of work were you thinking of going into?”

Edward gave her a weak smile, “Finance.”

Dr. Leland gave him a suspicious look, but returned the smile. “Not a bad idea. Lots of money to be had in the world of taxes.”

“Yeah, that’s why I decided I should brush up on the laws.” Despite his honesty, she still looked concerned, though she didn’t voice it. She bid him good day, instructed him to follow the rules, and he watched as she hurried off down the hall to her next appointment. It took a few moments before an orderly showed up to take him back to his wing in the asylum, and he found himself bewildered again. He wasn’t used to being treated with so much lack of concern, and it was beginning to make him feel nervous.

As the two walked back to the Thayer wing, the orderly tried to make some small talk, though his choice in subjects made Edward quickly lose what little interest he’d had in the discussion. As they arrived at the heavy dividing door, the orderly motioned for Edward to go ahead of him and locked the security door behind him with a loud clang. The wandering patients took note of Edward’s return, and he hurried back to the empty hall to avoid the curious stares. His eyes landed on the mural immediately, and he slowed his pace as he walked up to it.

He found himself staring at the tiny, lone boat in the water, and a different sensation hit him. As he looked over the painting, he found that it had a charm to it he hadn’t noticed the first time. The starkness of the island felt calming, and the little blue flowers didn’t look so juvenile now. The blue void of the water was serene, as if it was a protective barrier surrounding the land. He was starting to feel like he understood what the artist was trying to convey. It was something that didn’t require masterful artistic skills to explain, which was probably why they didn’t bother. The island was a sanctuary from the outside world, a tiny home locked away by a river of water. Somewhere where the struggles on the lands surrounding it couldn’t touch. Though the mansion at the top still looked creepy.

Oh, so you’re happy being locked away on islands now? The thought came from nowhere, and he willed it to stop, but his mind persisted. The outside world is too frightening for you, so now you want to be like whatever patient painted this? Locked away in a cage where you’re safe, so the scary bad men can’t hurt you anymore?

His eyes narrowed as his temper began to rise. That wasn’t it, he just wasn’t ready to leave yet. Despite what the doctors said, he knew he hadn’t made enough progress. There were too many issues he was dealing with. He kept telling himself to keep things simple. To keep his world small, and not worry about the larger issues at hand. It wasn’t an emotional decision, it was a logical one. He wasn’t being a coward.

But he couldn’t shake the feelings, now that the thoughts had pointed them out. It could be that he was scared. That he was wasting valuable time sitting around in this cold building. The doctors didn’t want him here, and he’d lost his sanctuary of isolation from the other patients. He wondered why he felt so desperate to stay.

It’s because you’re afraid of what waits outside these walls, his thoughts concluded.

All at once, the mural in front of him had lost its appeal, and he had the impression of being right back where he’d started.

#writing post #Extra episodes #Prequel episode #canon post #Season 1 episodes #eddie post

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burstingsunrise · 4 years ago

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75. “I was just thinking about you.” and/or 79. “I’ll still be here when you’re ready.” with cashton? 🥺👉👈

thanks anon!! 💜💜 since my last cashton prompt was emo i went fluffier on this one and leaned into ashton’s caffeine addiction. words: 1927 tw: none on ao3 here. There’s a comforting routine to Calum’s mornings working at The High Ground. He clocks in early, when the sky is still pitch black, and spends an hour by himself going through the opening checklist. He savors this time alone in the dim shop lights. Most mornings he plays music and sings along as he stocks the cups and fills the bakery case, but some mornings he prefers to work in silence, just the hum of the refrigerators keeping him company.

The store opens at six and the first customers come trickling in before any of Calum’s coworkers show up. It’s usually regulars, the same handful of early birds day after day. Calum knows most of their orders by heart, except there’s one guy who’s always switching it up on him.

Calum still remembers the first time he came in, probably six months ago. He showed up two minutes after Calum unlocked the door and had greeted Calum with an enthusiastic good morning! as he stepped into the shop. It was confusing to Calum that anyone could be that alert at 6am without having had their coffee yet.

He didn’t have much time to ponder it, though, because the guy sidled up to the counter like he owned the place and gave Calum a disarming, expectant grin. Some people have smiles that seem flirty all the time, even in the most mundane situations. Calum can’t explain it - it’s just this innate thing that certain people have, a charisma or a twinkle in their eye that makes their smile feel like a secret. This guy had one of those smiles. It made Calum disoriented and fluttery, but in a nice way.

“Morning. What can I get for you?” Calum had asked, rushing to tighten his apron and pin on his name tag.

Usually customers know exactly what they want, or they spend a few seconds with their eyes scanning the menu board; maybe they ask Calum a fuckton of questions about how much milk is in a toffee latte and what’s the difference between a macchiato and a cappuccino and can they get that sugar free. But this guy just kept smiling at Calum, and just when Calum thought maybe this guy didn’t hear him or something, he finally said, “Large cold brew.”

“Sure. Can I get a name for that?” He was on autopilot; there hadn’t really been a need to ask for this guy’s name given the completely empty store, but at this point Calum was so used to asking that he probably said it in his sleep.

“Ashton.” The guy said it with a little shake of his head, and Calum noticed his honey-colored curls and found himself hoping this wouldn’t be the last time Ashton stopped by the coffee shop.

Calum rang up the order and started making the drink, and Ashton had watched him carefully from the other side of the counter. Normally this sort of behavior would make Calum anxious and annoyed - he hates when customers watch him like they’re just waiting for him to mess up. But there was nothing about Ashton’s energy that suggested he was worried Calum was going to screw up his order, so Calum found he didn’t mind being watched as he poured cold brew into a plastic cup and snapped a lid on it.

He slid it across the counter to Ashton. “Large cold brew for my favorite customer so far today.”

Ashton’s smile returned in full force, accompanied by a high-pitched chuckle that made Calum’s stomach swoop. “Thank you -” he paused to peek at Calum’s name tag. “Thank you, Calum. Is it always this quiet in here this time of day?”

“Yeah. Usually doesn’t pick up until seven or so.”

“Huh. You’re right on the way to my new office. Guess I know my new favorite coffee shop.”

“Why are you going into the office at 6am?” Calum asked. His face burned a little after the question slipped out. Ashton’s work schedule was not really any of his business.

But Ashton had just given Calum an embarrassed smile and a small shrug. “I like going in early when it’s quiet and there’s no one to distract me.” Calum can relate.

“Plus I get to leave early,” Ashton continued, “and it’s really fun walking out the door while all my coworkers have another two hours of work to look forward to.” He took a sip of his cold brew, and Calum noticed the sun had started coming up, casting a deep golden glow over the floor of the shop, the exact same color as Ashton’s drink.

“That’s the exact same reason why I like opening here.”.

Ashton nodded and raised his cup, turning toward the door. “A man with taste. I’ll see you tomorrow, Calum!”

The encounter had left Calum smiling, but he didn’t think much of it; didn’t even really expect to see Ashton again. But then he showed up the next morning, a mischievous grin on his face as he placed his order for “Calum’s favorite thing on the menu.” Calum had felt immense pressure, because his favorite thing on the menu was the dirty ginger chai and he was afraid it would be a bit over-the-top for someone who had ordered a straight cold brew the previous morning.

“Are you sure you want to trust me with this?” he asked, writing Ashton’s name on an empty cup even though the store was once again empty. “It’s pretty damn sweet.”

“Why am I not surprised?” Ashton chuckled and shook his head furiously, as if he was trying to dislodge a thought from his brain. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

Calum has no idea if Ashton ended up liking the dirty ginger chai or not, but he kept trusting Calum to surprise him with different drinks every day after that, so he must not have hated it.

Now Calum can’t remember a time before Ashton was part of his routine. It just goes without saying that Ashton will come through the door every morning between 6:02 and 6:11, and Calum will stop what he’s doing and start making him a drink; whatever feels right that day. He prides himself on anticipating Ashton’s vibe for the day and choosing something that will put a smile on his face when he takes the first sip.

He’s learned a lot about Ashton these past six months. He knows that when Ashton says morning instead of good morning!, he’s tired and he needs something with an extra kick of caffeine. He knows that when Ashton’s face is covered in stubble it’s because he’s running behind or feeling overwhelmed, and he needs something sweet as a treat. He knows that when Ashton leans a hip on the counter as he orders, it means he’s got some spare time and he plans to spend a few minutes chatting with Calum before he heads to work, so Calum goes all out to make him a drink worth talking about.

And it’s not just drinks. It’s actually a little frightening how well you can get to know a person just through spending a few minutes a day with them. Calum knows Ashton’s favorite song and the names of his siblings; knows that he likes to light scented candles to help him relax when he gets home from work and that he fancies himself a good cook but doesn’t have anyone to cook for.

It’s a strangely intimate amount of information to know about someone who tips you every day, but Calum collects every little tidbit of knowledge and tucks it into a safe corner of his brain. He finds himself randomly thinking, Oh, Ashton would probably like this song! as he listens through his Spotify Discover Weekly, or wishing he could text Ashton to ask him what kind of spice would work best for the black bean enchiladas he’s attempting to make for dinner.

It was inevitable that Calum would eventually slip up in front of Ashton. He’s cleaning up the dining room a few minutes after opening - it’s not normally part of his opening responsibilities, but the night shift was absolutely the B Team and they had completely slacked on clearing and wiping tables the night before. Calum comes across a catalog on the table in the corner, the kind of thing rich white ladies order throw pillows and jewelry from. The front page is a photo of cinnamon vanilla scented candles, and Calum wonders if Ashton would like them.

The bell chimes over the door and Ashton walks in as Calum is still bent over the catalog. “Good morning, Cal!” Ashton’s well-rested and clean-shaven, so it’s probably a flat white kind of day.

“Morning, Ash. I was just thinking about you,” Calum says, holding the catalog out to Ashton with a smirk.

Ashton takes it with a smile and a pleased quirk of his eyebrows, but his smile drops into a confused frown when he looks at the cover.

“I was wondering if you’d be into cinnamon vanilla. Since you like scented candles,” Calum clarifies, cheeks turning pink as he realizes how extremely weird and creepy he probably sounds.

“Oh!” Relief washes over Ashton’s face. “I thought you were about to recruit me for a pyramid scheme and that was going to be really awkward.”

Calum laughs and steps behind the counter to start on Ashton’s flat white. “Nah. Just wanted to check and see if you needed me to get you some candles next time I put in an order for seasonal throw pillows.”

Ashton chuckles at Calum and studies the catalog more carefully. “Cinnamon vanilla,” he ponders, tapping at his chin. “I’m pretty sure I’d like cinnamon vanilla.” He looks up to meet Calum’s eyes. “I’m just not sure if cinnamon vanilla likes me.”

Calum purses his lips, a little mystified, but Ashton’s always saying weird stuff, so he’s used to it at this point. Likes it, even, because it’s something interesting in his otherwise predictable day. “I’m sure cinnamon vanilla would love you,” he replies confidently.

Ashton leans closer to the counter, eyes wide and earnest. “I guess maybe I could ask cinnamon vanilla on a date, see how it goes before I commit to bringing it home.”

Okay, Ashton says weird things sometimes, but it is very possible they are no longer talking about candles at this point. “Maybe you should,” Calum says, hands shaking slightly as he adds a pump of vanilla syrup to Ashton’s cup. He sees Ashton’s grin out of the corner of his eye.

“I don’t know if I’m ready.”

“To ask cinnamon vanilla on a date?” Calum asks, glancing at Ashton as he pours steamed milk.

“Yeah. I need caffeine before I can be that bold.”

That’s something Calum can definitely help with. He adds a dash of cinnamon to the top of the drink before he slides it across the counter to Ashton.

“Cinnamon vanilla flat white for you,” he says urgently. He feels incredibly cliche about it, but how else is a barista supposed to flirt with a customer?

Ashton’s eyes light up and he greedily scoops up the drink. “That’s not on the menu.”

Calum waves him off. “Cinnamon vanilla wanted to make sure you knew it was interested.”

“Huh.” Ashton nods, eyeing Calum thoughtfully. “Maybe I’ll sit and stay for a bit while I drink it.”

“While you caffeinate,” Calum clarifies.

Ashton nods. “While I caffeinate.”

“Cool.” Calum snatches a rag off the counter to wipe down the espresso machine. “I’ll still be here when you’re ready.”

#ask #prompt #5sos fic #cashton fic #next on the list: more bake off malum #anon #this is a thing i did

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reeesea · 4 years ago

Text

Something Sweet: Part One

~the sweetest drink on the menu~

one ~ two ~ three ~ four ~ five ~ six ~ seven ~ eight ~ nine

pairing: just minsung, han jisung/lee minho

warnings: mild language (like barely)

words: 3.5k (2k too many ngl)

summary: Minho is working his usual shift at Seoul's most expensive high end restaurant, when a trio of new-comers arrive and by the end of Minho’s tedious night he’s plus one additional phone number.

a/n: To be honest this is the first thing I’ve ever written and actually posted. SO please accept this minsung one-shot that just came out of wanting more waiter Minho in my life. anyway if you read it and like it let me know, and maybe ill write more of it. In my head it has at least a few more chapters of non-plot where the other boys show up <3

---------------------

It had only been an hour since the dinner rush started and Minho was already counting the minutes until he could collect his tips and go home. Sure, he could think of countless more exhausting jobs compared to being a waiter at Menu 98 (an upscale restaurant in a part of town he most definitely did not live in), but today just hit different. He never had to do much more than just put on his Customer Server Smile ™, not mess up the orders, pour the wine without spilling, and recommend the highest priced appetizer if asked. Pretty simple stuff. Nothing too draining, but still the exhaustion set in, probably due to spending 2 more hours in the dance studio than he should’ve the previous day.

His feet were paying for those additional long hours trying to perfect choreo by making each minute of his shift more painful than the last. Even so, working at the ever popular restaurant paid for the daily discomfort that Minho may have felt from his blistered feet. The restaurant was a well known hot spot for anyone with enough money to casually spend the equivalent of three of Minho's paychecks on a meal. CEOs and their business partners along with idols and some lesser known celebrities made up most of their usual clientele on a casual Friday night like this one. The customers always came in waves on Friday evenings, parties of usually 4 or more coming in to celebrate some successful business venture that took place during the week. Great for Minho really, because that meant usually more wine, more appetizers, larger meals, and larger checks, which means bigger tips. His bank account really needed these Fridays especially if he was gong to keep saving up to finally pursue his dream.

A new party of six was just assigned to Minho’s section. Trademarked smile: on, Feet: still aching, Hours until close: at least another three. It looked like tonight it was going to be a long ass night.

An hour or so passed before Minho was able to get some form of rest from being out on the floor. Minho leaned his body weight against the wall near the back of the dining room, appreciating the brief calm before the night crowd started to roll in. Thoughts of the dance he was trying to choreograph flashed through his head. He hoped that the movements he’d chosen would be able to convey the emotions of the song he had in mind. The thought of asking Hyunjin to watch his performance briefly popped in his head, but before he could consider it further the hostess was calling his name.

“Minho! There's a new table for you in section three.” Minho moved from his comfortable position against the wall and went through his checklist; Apron? Flattened. Backup pens? Check. Hair gently moved out of his face to perfectly frame it? Check. Lastly, Polite customer service smile? Obviously.

The three boys at the table were definitely new customers to the restaurant. Minho observed that the three of them appeared to be blissfully unaware of the de facto business casual to fully formal dress code that the other patrons in the restaurant followed. The Trio seemed to sport the street style that you would see in the popular clubs not only a block away. Two of them clothed in almost all black outfits while the third wore a bright pink colored hoodie under his jean jacket.

“Hyung, I still can’t believe we did it! The crowd was huge, I mean after going on stage I don't even remember anything. I might have blacked out. Holy shit did I actually black out….” Pink hoodie seemed pretty animated about whatever the reason was for their meal out. Maybe a little too animated, as other tables glazed bitterly toward the source of their evening’s disruption.

Before approaching he considered the possibility that these boys being idols was likely, but Minho still found it odd for multiple reasons. He didn't recognize them at all as idols, which he was usually pretty good at keeping up with, and when idols did casually come in it was more likely to be on a weekday for an early dinner and not a late Friday night after the dinner rush. Nonetheless, with his perfect waiter image on, he walks over to the table never showing his curiosity.

“Good evening gentlemen, My name is Minho, and I’ll be serving you tonight. Is there anything I can get you to drink before your starters?” His script rolled politely off his tongue like it had the whole night. All complete with a slight smile and arms perfectly placed behind him, as carefully and as naturally as a doll whose been posed in the same position for the past six hours.

The wide set, somewhat brooding boy has already decided after glancing at the drink menu, “yeah I'll order a bottle of the house red for the table,” glancing up at Minho from beneath his black cap. Minho swiftly wrote down the order, and moved his glance over to the next boy at the table.

“Hyung, you're the only one of us who chooses to drink wine voluntarily,” Pink hoodie spoke up, seemingly upset about the prospect of drinking bitter fruit water.

“Jisung, you're just saying that because you can't handle anything that you can actually taste the alcohol in. I'll drink whatever Bin gets,” the handsome curly haired blonde mentions, glancing at the soft hoodied boy next to him with a look that reminds Minho of a disappointed father. Minho actively fights off the smirk that is wanting to form on his lips.

“WHAT that's not true, THAT ONE TIME I drank an entire bottle of-”

“Fine, fine just stop yelling. You’re gonna get us kicked out before we even get to eat” Mr. Black cap glances up at Minho again, but with a more apologetic look. “Add on an order of the fruitiest and sweetest drink you serve still with alcohol in it, for the small squirrel boy.” That last part came with a smirk from the dark haired speaker and a glare from from the ‘squirrel boy’ to his left.

Minho had trouble keeping the smirk from forming this time. And maybe his perfect image faltered for a second, but he was quick to recover, and confirmed their orders with a straight face and a promise to return with water as he left to give them time to select from the menu.

---

“Great now our waiter thinks I'm a whiny baby who looks like a squirrel. Wow, thanks Changbin-hyung.” Jisung grumbles and pinches his cheeks that cursed him with the rodent nickname.

“Good, at least he won’t be fooled into thinking you're anything but the truth”

“Yah! WHa-”

“Hey settle down you guys, lets try not to get kicked out please. Binnie recommended the food here, and I would very much like to eat it before we are politely asked to leave”

Jisung grumbles something inaudible at Chan’s request, and Changbin can't help but respond with a smirk at getting to see the younger be told off.

“Also we're supposed to be celebrating selling out our show so lets do that, yeah? First show 3racha single handedly sold out! WE did that!”

All three of them get proud smiles after that, and the bickering is left forgotten as the three recount the night, even though they had lived it together

“Not gonna lie, I think our Binnie stole the show tonight. You were on fire tonight man.” Chan said proudly, receiving a thankful smile from the younger boy, who had become shy and bashful at the praise.

“Though, Chan-hyung your rap was so charismatic tonight, you almost made that girl in front faint when you winked at her, the whole audience fucking lost it” Jisung had switched from literally yelling to just a whisper shout for emphasis.

“Hahaha, yeah I can't even believe that happened. Man, today’s energy was just different.” The smile on Chan’s face was blinding, as usual. “Hopefully we can get to play even bigger venues soon. I could get used to this...” Chan mused, seemingly already focused on the future plans of 3racha.

“Yeah, those paydays would be real nice right about now.”

“Bin-hyung, what are you talking about, you’re literally loaded. Plus since you got that producing job, we can actually pay the rent on the apartment you parents let us stay in '' Jisungs pretty thankful for all the support Changbins parents had given them, while the three of them worked toward their collective dream to make and perform music. But he thinks they all can agree that finally being able to use their own money to live instead of just relying on handouts and the kindness of friends or family to help keep them from becoming starved or homeless, is a new kind of satisfying that Jisung hadn’t considered before. Just look at them now, at one of the nicest (and most expensive) restaurants in Seoul, fighting over drinks and having a meal that would hopefully be the first of many celebrations for their groups accomplishments. The trio could all agree that the financial stress has been one of their greatest worries, and that beginning to escape it has been all kinds of relieving.

Before any of the boys could respond to Jisung’s comment, Minho had returned with three glasses of water, three glasses for wine, and a bottle of wine all balanced perfectly on a tray perched on the palm of his hand. Jisung had to admit it was impressive how he had managed to balance all of the glassware and liquids without losing balance, and while moving with more grace and agility than he would expect from your average waiter.

Before Jisung had even returned from his thoughts, three glasses of water and the expertly poured wine glasses, all set delicately without a single drop spilled, were identically placed in front of each of them. Graceful may have been an understatement.

“Have you decided what you would like to have tonight, gentlemen?” Their waiter Minho said, all with a gentle expression on his face.

No, the answer was no, but before Jisung could respond, Changbin had already ordered the pricey steak to go with his wine. Soon after, Chan ordered the surf and turf dish that had a stupidly complicated name that Jisung couldn’t pronounce. Jisung hadn’t even remembered them even looking at the menu, or maybe it was just him who had yet to even glanced at it. Details.

“Uhhhhh…” Jisung searched hopelessly over the menu and then at his friends, who stared blankly back at him, then back to the menu again. This was a regular occurrence when the three decided to go out and eat, when they weren’t holding themselves in their apartment for weeks at a time. Still, Jisung always ended up hopelessly unprepared to successfully order without awkward pauses and at least three consecutive strings of ‘hmm’s and ‘uhhh’s. And so,

“Hmmmmm…. I think.. Uhh…. maybe…” nothing was popping out at him, and Jisung was pretty sure at this point that he had forgotten how to read. “Ya know what, surprise me,” he decided this was the best response he could come up with.

“Surprise you?” Minho looked just as confused as Jisung felt.

“Yeah, is that an option? If not, I'm this close to just closing my eyes and pointing.” He says while dramatically closing his eyes and waving his finger over the menu. Once again Jisung was hopeless.

He hears a soft chuckle and opens his eyes just in time to catch their waiter’s lips curl in a sweet smile that makes his eyes turn into crescents. It lasts barely a second, before his face returns to his neutral customer service expression. But Jisung decides he really likes that smile, and a part of him is sad to see it retreat so soon.

“Well in that case, I can do the blind pointing for you, but I personally recommend the seasonally prepared local beef served on house baked brioche, that comes with garlic and parsley potato wedges. Does that sound alright?” Jisung felt he had said it faster and with more details just to confuse him.

Jisung stares at him blankly in response, and he's pretty sure four whole seconds pass in silence before the Pretty Waiter ™ follows up, an ever so slight smirk on his lips, “it's pretty much a really good local burger with homemade fries, I think it would be something you would enjoy.”

Jisung grins at that, “Oh! Yeah that does sound good...Thank you! I will have that.” For some reason he really likes the idea that their waiter chose something off the menu that was specially meant for him. Not that he wouldn't like all the nicer and fancier dishes they serve here with small plates with dry ice fog, but a part of him was more content in getting a dinner that didn't require him to question whether or not something on his plate was even edible. And the happy curiosity definitely had nothing to do with the way their waiter’s eyes sparkled when he talked or the barely-there smirk that Jisung just caught sight of.

“Alright then, I’ll put in these orders. Oh! And then I'll be right back with your speciality fruit drink,” He says that last part with a slightly more upbeat tone, resulting in another smirk to appear on Changbin’s face and a groan from a slightly embarrassed Jisung.

---

Minho surprised himself.

On any given day of work at Menu 98, he deathly avoids having to do anything more than the regular polite small talk. But for some reason, tonight he couldn’t stop himself from playing along with the antics of the cute boy at his table. The three boys were entertaining, and maybe he could blame the exhaustion and the numb pain in his heels, but the comical distraction was welcomed by Minho. He didn't even realize just how much he had been looking for a distraction from the long shift until it was staring right at him with big shiny eyes and a cute round face. Minho hurried back to enter in their orders, including his suggestion for the squirrel looking boy.

Minho wasn’t going to deny that the flustered boy at the table was cute, he was pretty aware how attractive all three the boys were when he took their orders. He had thought they were idols originally, so in Minho’s mind it made sense. Still, the waiter still felt something about the three was too unique to be categorized as just idols or trainees. As much as it may have piqued his curiosity though, Minho still got paid for his service not for his interests in customers, so he brushed it off almost as soon as it appeared.

The rest of the evening, Minho tended to all four of his assigned tables with his usual perfect server act and minimal small talk. When it came to the three somewhat boisterous customers in the corner table, Minho may or may not have allowed himself to subtly laugh at their arguments and antics. The dynamic of the three boys was slowly becoming the highlight of his late night shift. Each of their personalities greatly contrasted and amplified the other, making way for animated and comical exchanges and arguments between them.

When Minho had returned with a Strawberry daiquiri for the boy in pink, a chorus of giggles could be heard from the other two boys, while the other happily accepted the drink in substitute for the untouched glass of wine in front of him. Upon drinking it, the cute boy's eyes somehow widened further and shined more than Minho thought was possible. He flashed his heart-shaped smile as he thanked Minho for the drink.

Minho nodded in return, and internally decided that Heart-shaped smiles were his new favorite.

---

Jisung had been hyper since the show, and the energy was now focused on a new mission to see the pretty smile of their waiter again. Granted, he didn't have to try that much harder to gain the attention of the pretty waiter, being the loud and excitable person naturally he was. Every small grin that Jisung was able to pull out from under the other boy’s infuriatingly polite facade, was a major win in his book.

Chan, Changbin, and Jisung celebrated further by enjoying the food, which was all phenomenal, and discussing their next gig the coming week. The best way to celebrate one performance is to look towards the next, or someother random bullshit Changbin had said after a couple more glasses of wine.

Overall the night was a celebration of all of the dedication and hours they had put into their music, as well as their grind to perform and grow a somewhat sizable following. They were all high on the potential of finally getting to realize their dreams and reach their goals as a group, something none of them actually thought they would get to do together. The overwhelming happiness of the night easily made it one of Jisung's new favorite memories.

As the boys were finishing off their third--or forth--drink (Jisung definitely had another one of the strawberry drinks Minho had brought him), after dinner and figuring out their checks, Jisung felt a surge of boldness. Mostly due to having a few drinks in his system, and the slight infatuation he had with the pretty waiter's smile, Jisung decided ‘whats the worst thing that could happen? Rejection? lmao’ and wrote down his name and number on his receipt in hopes that Minho would actually read it, or maybe even contact him. Maybe.

It was a shot in the dark, but Jisung had been feeling a little high on life, and felt like he couldn’t leave without at least shooting his shot. Jisung and the other members of 3racha got up to leave, and Jisung searched out the waiter. He wasn’t able to see him in the mostly empty dining room now, but a hopeful part of him felt that he would see him again, leaving the restaurant with his arms around his members already bickering about who would get to shower first after their long night.

“I'm just saying, Chan-hyung I know for a fact that you’re not even going to make it to the front door before passing out, so I call dibs. And Jisung, I’m older than you so I get veto power over your rights and decisions as your hyung.”

Jisung was about to grumble in response but something about how Changbin’s smile was so carefree left him feeling like he deserved this victory. Changbin was definitely a little tipsy, but seeing his hyung so happy after such a rough week made Jisung glad to do anything to keep that smile there.

“Fine, fine hyung but you have to help me carry Chan-hyung up stairs when he inevitable falls asleep on me in the cab”

“I don't know what youre talking about,” Chan replies, already yawning, while climbing into the cab.

---

Minho was picking up the receipts from his tables when one of them caught his eye.

Hey, I’m Han Jisung ^~^ (the cute one in the pink hoodie!)

Thanks for your suggestions, best waiter ever!!!

I think your smile is beautiful, Maybe I’ll get to see it again sometime?

555-XXX-XXXX

Minho couldn't help but smile to himself. He’d been hit on occasionally by customers and has been given countless numbers, which usually don't make it much farther than the trash, but something about the innocence of the note and cuteness of the boy made him actually consider keeping it.

He scoffed to himself after a second of considering it. As cute as the boy was, and as sweet as the note was, Minho didn’t have time or energy to have another added person in his life. No matter romantically or platonically, new relationships were on his ‘things to stay away from if you ever wanna make it into the dance academy’ list. He already barely ever saw his roommates, and if they weren't all in the same dance troupe, they probably wouldn't talk much. All of their time was spent working and practicing, and he and his roommates only had enough energy and free time to spend a meal or two together on the weekends. There just wasn’t any more time for anything extra, no matter how nice the idea may sound.

He was about to give the little message the same treatment as the others as he cleaned up for the night, but a part of him couldn't bring himself to throw it away, and discreetly pocketed it instead out of instinct. Out of sight and out of mind as far as Minho was concerned.

-----

thank you if you read this far <3

one ~ two ~ three ~ four ~ five ~ six ~ seven ~ eight ~ nine

#stray kids #skz #minsung #stray kids fic #skz fic #han jisung #lee minho #lee know #I love my sons #gods menu #restaurant au

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spaceskam · 5 years ago

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our fainted thrill carries on (8/13)

another part of my season 2 fix it! enjoy the pain! warning for sexual content and angst

ao3

Michael was lured back to life by soft kisses on his chest.

A soft, slightly confused hum vibrated in his throat as his eyes slowly opened. The window, though it was covered with a thin curtain, showed that it was still dark outside. That didn’t stop those lips from moving up to his neck or those fingers from gliding across his stomach. His eyes left the window and went to Alex. It took him a few seconds to remember how exactly that happened.

“‘S early,” Michael grunted, voice hoarse and mind still a little foggy. It was hard to remember anything with Alex pressed up against him and kissing his skin.

“Yeah,” Alex whispered softly, pulling away just enough to look him in the eye. He was soft from sleep, eyes still a little tired and cheek red from being pressed against Michael’s skin all night. It was like he’d just woken up only a few seconds before Michael and immediately wanted his attention. That made his heart beat a little harder. “I’m sorry, you can go back to sleep if you want. Just, I have work and you have work and I wanted‒”

Michael silenced Alex by flipping them over, laying on top of him as he slowly woke himself up more. Alex smiled so wide, stretching just a little and using that as an excuse to arch his bare body into Michael’s. He was so relaxed, so happy, and Michael could hardly make sense of it. Did he always look like this when they hooked up or was this special somehow?

It didn’t really matter though as Michael nudged his nose against his cheek, pressing feather-light kisses to his jaw. Alex craned his neck to give him more space. Michael could hear him breathing, feel the way his arms wrapped around him, taste his skin. Everything was Alex. Everything was always, always, always Alex.

He kissed every inch of his skin that he could reach before dragging his tongue across the length of his jaw. Alex hummed, weaving his fingers into his hair and giving it a little tug to show his approval. Then Michael paused for a minute, letting himself enjoy the stillness of just being pressed against him and being allowed to have this. He wanted him so badly, he wanted them to be able to be in love and happy. He had been in love and happy. He trusted Alex to have good reasons to keep something from him. Part of him still trusted that he did.

But, fuck, that was harder to convince himself of when Alex was basically the only one he trusted.

Michael’s hands went to his thighs, hoisting them up to his hips and earning a little surprised gasp from the man himself at the escalation. Alex still held him close, though, and his thighs tightened around his hips as Michael dragged his teeth over a sore spot he’d made on his neck the night before. He was usually pretty good about not leaving marks, but last night he couldn’t help himself.

The mix of betrayal and absolute desire for Alex again made it hard to control himself.

Alex tilted his head, nudging Michael away from his neck to capture his lips in a kiss. Considering his mind was still hazy and the mood felt just right, Michael kissed back and let himself enjoy it. No matter what happened, no matter how bad he felt, he always enjoyed kissing Alex. Even last night when he felt like everything was shit, he could bury himself in that feeling.

“I love you,” Alex whispered into his mouth as Michael mindlessly tried to bury himself again and it made it harder. It felt wrong hearing that. Everyone lied to him about everything, what did love have to do with that?

So, as a way to silence him, he slid his arm between them and took Alex in his hand. He sucked in a breath, but he kissed him back just as fervently. Michael tried to forget everything except for his breaths, except for his skin, except for his lips, except for the whine he gave when he bit the bruise on his neck, except for the way his eyebrows met in the middle and his jaw dropped when Michael did that thing he liked. Because he knew what he liked. Because he knew Alex.

Or did he?

Because it didn’t seem to matter. The more he tried to silence him, the more he swallowed the confessions that felt hallow and made him feel even more unwanted than before, the more they came. Alex liked to give affirmation, but what had once been ‘god, you’re hot’ had turned into ‘fuck, I love you’. And how was he supposed to take that? Why did he have to change it?

You don’t lie to people you love.

Alex finished with no warning, messy and hot and all but plastering their chests together. He cursed and apologized with his hands still weaved into his hair, but Michael didn’t care. He had a lot of bigger worries than something like that. This was nothing new. Alex put his hand on his cheek and pulled him in for a kiss, sharing breath as he moved to reciprocate. Michael stopped him by pushing to his knees and letting Alex’s legs slide off him.

He stared down at him. Alex looked slightly confused, but too blissed out to really put it together. When was Alex going to tell him the truth? What happened to honesty?

“I’m gonna go take a shower,” Michael said. Alex grabbed his hand.

“Wait,” he breathed, sitting up and reaching for a kiss. Michael accepted it. “Let me join?”

And wasn’t it impossible to tell him no?

“Well, aren’t you bubbly.”

“Sorry,” Alex said, but he couldn’t deny it. His leg had been bouncing all day, vibrating with excited energy. Things were going good. Better than good. Not only had they had a massive fucking breakthrough, but he had Michael.

“Don’t apologize, happy looks good on you,” Cam said, giving him a smile.

They’d all met up after work to head to the school together, but Alex knew he was annoying. He’d been annoying all day and he didn’t give a shit. He’d never been so goddamn happy in his life. Finally, things were good. Finally.

“Wanna spill what’s got you so giddy? Because I know it’s not just what we found out last night,” Kyle pointed out. Which was true. They decided to let Cam do a little digging into her father’s side of the family and see what she could find. She apparently didn’t get along with her parents and hadn’t spoken to them in a very long time, so it made sense that that was why she hadn’t been pulled into M.V.C. by them. Point is, that meant there was a possibility they had no idea what she knew. Shit was going to be great.

“Well… I don’t know if you wanna hear about it,” Alex said, chewing on his bottom lip as he replayed the night before and the morning. They still needed to have a good, cohesive talk, but it’d been years since he had to use foundation to cover up a hickey and he felt too young to care for the time being.

“We’re your friends and you clearly wanna talk,” Kyle said. Alex didn’t need much more of a push.

“Guerin and I hooked up last night. And this morning, but, yeah, last night. Like, for real. Like, a thing. A thing, us,” Alex said, laughing to himself. He couldn’t wait to see him again, to kiss him. He couldn’t get enough. They were finally on the same page in the same book on the same sentence.

“That wasn’t already happening?” Cam asked at the same time Kyle asked, “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“No, it wasn’t happening, we were trying to navigate things without sex,” Alex said, squirming slightly as he continued to think about it. How the hell had he actually even gone that long? He’d been without him for hardly a few hours and all he wanted was to fuck until they were both numb. “But I think we’re in a good enough place where we can separate it and be adults about a relationship and alien bullshit.”

“And you’re sure?” Kyle clarified. Alex nodded.

“I’ve never been so sure about something in my life.”

“Well, then I support you.”

“Not gonna lie, it’s kinda weird seeing you so excited,” Cam said, “But I’m happy for you, Cap.”

The drive seemed to drag on for way longer than it needed to be and Alex was nearly crawling out of his skin. He felt so young and stupid, checking his phone over and over to see if Michael had texted him. He hadn’t, but he knew he was busy. Alex just couldn’t wait to see him.

To keep his mind distracted, he made a mental checklist of all the things they needed to talk about once they got home that night. The revised boundaries of their relationship, the third head of the trident, who the little boy was, and making sure they both wanted the same thing going forward. They’d been doing good, but they’d been known to let sex cloud their judgment and Alex was determined to avoid that.

They were going to be better.

Michael was already there, rummaging through his truck, whenever they pulled up at the school. Kyle and Cam gave Alex a little look that caused him to roll his eyes, but they both quickly went inside and left Alex alone with Michael. He was more than a little grateful for that.

“Hey, Cowboy,” Alex called as he walked up to him, taking off the hat of his uniform. Michael looked over at him and sighed before turning back to his truck, pushing himself up and into the cab more. Alex took slow steps towards him, trying to gauge his body language. Had he had a bad day? “Hey,” he said again, softer this time, “You okay?”

“I am fine, so fine,” Michael said, slamming the door shut after coming out of the truck empty handed. Confusion hit Alex like a train and he instantly reached out to grab his wrist, stepping into his space. Michael looked past him rather than at him. It hurt more than words could say.

“Talk to me,” Alex said, trying to coax him into calming down rather than making it worse. Michael was a paragon of making his negativity contagious. Alex refused to let it happen today. “What happened? What do you need?”

Michael took three heavy breaths before looking at him, making eye contact so deliberate that it was nearly breathtaking. But, then again, Michael was breathtaking. Alex took another step, their chests pressing together. It was reminiscent of that morning, only with an extra barrier of clothing between them. Alex couldn’t help but think that, if it was gone, he’d feel better.

He brought his hand up to his cheek, watching the way his eyes closed at the feeling. Alex gently rubbed his thumb over his cheekbone and stepped in just a little closer, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. Michael swallowed and released a slow breath.

“Talk to me,” Alex repeated, staying close, “What upset you and how do we fix it?”

Michael opened his eyes and stared at him for all of two seconds before Alex’s back was shoved into the side of the truck. He skipped any form of sweet kisses, going straight for raunchy and explicit. It was all tongue, all teeth, all pressing against him in the most mind-numbing way.

He reciprocated easily despite the publicness of it all, reveling in how badly Michael seemed to want him. He liked being wanted. More importantly, he liked being wanted by him. So he matched his speed and his desire, holding him close and getting his fix. He genuinely didn’t know how he’d ever gone with him.

Still, Alex made a startled noise as he took it even a step further, wedging his knee between Alex’s thighs and grinding his hips down with a little too much force.

“Michael,” Alex said, pulling away to catch his breath. His hands grasped his hips, separating them just a little. “Hey, we’re here to work on bringing Max back, remember? We can do this later.”

Michael stared at him for a moment before nodding his head, peeling off of Alex and stepping too far away too quickly. Alex reached for his hand again.

“Hey,” he said, “I love you.”

“Yeah,” Michael breathed, walking out of Alex’s grasp and towards the school.

Dread seeped into Alex’s body as he began to realize that maybe they weren’t quite as on the same page as he thought.

What was the proper way to call someone out for being a liar?

“His heart is slowly repairing itself, yes, but, at this rate, it won’t be healed perfectly for years. We need something else or this is pointless,” Liz rattled off. Michael was staring at Alex, watching him handle the alien glass pieces with delicate, familiar hands. He was so fucking obvious.

“It’s not pointless,” Isobel argued. Liz just gave her a faux-sympathetic smile.

“Maybe we could make an alien-friendly LVAD?” Kyle suggested.

“Yeah, but then what? If we give him and LVAD, then he’ll spend his life waiting for a transplant that’ll never come,” Liz said.

“Maybe we use these,” Alex said, holding up the glass, “It’s living like their bodies, right? Why couldn’t we construct a pacemaker or something once he gets to a certain stage. Sure, not perfect, but tons of people live just fine with them.”

Liz’s face lit up. “Yes. Yes, we could definitely do that. Michael, this‒”

“No,” Michael said easily, shaking his head, “No, we’re not destroying or altering any of the ship pieces.”

The room fell quiet, the four of them sharing looks between each other and Michael. It was like they couldn’t come up with a reason why he might not want that. It was almost laughable.

“Michael, this is Max,” Isobel said. Michael shrugged.

“So? That ship is the only option I have to get the hell off this planet and I’m not letting you take it from me,” he said, his eyes involuntarily drifting to Alex. He looked hurt by that, but not surprised. Just hurt as if all of his fears had been confirmed. Michael shook his head. “And you knew that.”

“Okay, you’re just being selfish now,” Liz said, “We need your help.”

“And it’s not just your ship, Michael. Max and I have just as much of a right to it as you do,” Isobel said. Michael scoffed.

“Bullshit. Neither of you cared about ever finding it, you just care now. It’s mine and I say no,” Michael insisted.

“So, what, you’re still just gonna fuck off the planet?” Alex asked, voice showing just how obvious it was that hurt his feelings. How funny was that?

“Well, I wish I could, but I can’t,” Michael said, “Because someone has been keeping fucking pieces from me.”

Again, he could hear a pin drop. Alex just stared at him and Michael could see the gears turning in his head, his walls building and his mind calculating a perfect response. Michael hated it. He just wanted fucking honesty. Why was it so hard to get?

“So you found that,” Alex said simply, voice hardened. Michael gave a sharp laugh, throwing his arms out in disbelief.

“That’s all you have to say?! I call you out for fucking lying to me for months and that’s it?! When did you find it, Alex? Did you ever plan on telling me about it? I just, I have given you so many chances to tell me! I’ve asked you over and over if you were hiding something, and you always said no! What was the fucking point, Alex?! What was the point of acting like we’d changed or grown or done something different when you were just lying?” Michael unleashed, finally feeling like he was getting it off his chest. Suddenly, he could breathe again.

“We have changed,” Alex said. Except he wasn’t angry like anticipated, not even a shred antagonistic. He just looked torn and desperate. He looked like he did at Caulfield. Michael had to physically take a step back. “I didn’t mean to lie.”

“You did, though. You and Sanders were the only two fucking people who had no reason to lie to me and you both did. Both of you! Why am I surrounded by liars, huh?” Michael demanded. Alex’s eyes were slowly but surely getting teary like things were falling into place. Good. Michael didn’t like when they fell into place either.

“I’m sorry,” he said, voice tight as he willed his tears away, “I’m sorry for not telling you.”

“Then why didn’t you?!”

“Because I didn’t want you to leave!” Alex yelled, roughly wiping his face with his hand, “I just, I wanted you. Here. With me.”

Michael became increasingly aware of the fact that they weren’t alone, but it seemed Alex was forgetting about it more each second.

“So you lied to be selfish,” Michael simplified.

Alex made a hurt little noise and took a shaky breath, his bottom lip quivering before his hands went to cover his face. It was strange. Such a big part of Michael wanted to make it stop, wanted to say they could talk it out, wanted to hold him so he wouldn’t cry in front of their friends. But that little part that couldn’t let it go felt like it had lit his entire fucking body on fire and he just couldn’t.

“What was last night then?” Alex asked as he dropped his hands after composing himself for a moment, “What was the point of that? If you think I’m selfish and a liar, why would you do that? Was that some kind of punishment? Because it worked. I feel punished.”

Michael didn’t answer. He didn’t have one. He was just pissed for even more reasons than he’d entered the room with. Alex quickly excused himself and left the room and Michael followed it up by shattering all the beakers on the lab. That anger he felt was all consuming, filling him to the brim with betrayal and self-hatred and he was struggling to see where the line between the two was.

“Way to go,” Kyle scoffed, quickly making his way to follow Alex out of the room. That left Isobel, Cam, and Liz all staring at him like he was the asshole. Which he probably was.

“The third head of the trident is Cameron,” Cam announced, eying him with distaste, “So, Alex, Kyle, and I will do just fine dismantling that side of things, we don’t need your help. We’ll keep you safe, don’t worry. You’re still a dick.”

With that, she left the room as well. And then there were three.

“Really, Michael?” Isobel asked, “What the fuck was that? Last time we talked, you were on cloud nine, what was the point of all that? And what do you mean Sanders was lying to you? And how come there are the only two you trust?”

“Isobel, please, just… give me a minute,” he said, digging the heels of his hands against his eyes.

How the fuck was he going to learn how to go back to sleeping alone?

“Boys are stupid.”

“Let’s burn them.”

Alex huffed a laugh, tugging his blanket a little bit tighter around him as he leaned his head on Rosa’s shoulder. He felt stupid and childish as she stroked his hair, but he couldn’t bring himself to move. She’d been like a big sister to him and, while things had changed dramatically, she was still right there when he needed her. And, right now, he needed her.

“I just can’t believe he decided to be such a dick,” she scoffed. Alex swallowed hard, closing his eyes. “He could’ve just said he wasn’t ready to be in a legit relationship.”

“What, you think that’s what set him off?”

“Think about it, he admitted he knew about you having that piece for awhile, what changed expect getting closer to actually having to be in a devoted relationship?” Rosa pointed out. Alex shrugged slightly.

“Maybe. I think it was Sanders that tipped him over the edge.”

“Yeah, but that’s still stupid. If he’s going to take it out on you, then he’s a ticking time bomb and not worth your efforts,” she explained. He huffed a laugh.

“Says you. You dated a lot of ticking time bombs,” he pointed out.

“Which is exactly why I know,” Rosa said, “But maybe now’s the time to just… start taking a step back. He’s a piece of shit.”

Alex was hit with another wave of tears that he, personally, felt were pathetic.

“I thought you liked him.”

“I do,” Rosa sighed, “Well, I did. He was super immature about that. And that’s coming from me.”

Alex laughed a little and tried to believe that she was right, sinking into her side a little bit more as they tried to change the subject. It didn’t matter how much they tried, though, because Alex’s mind was stuck on Michael. He didn’t want to sleep alone. Actually, he knew he wasn’t going to be able to sleep alone. He already knew his night was going to consist of, staring at the cameras until the sun rose.

“You sure you’re going to be okay?” Rosa asked once it hit midnight. Alex had to be up for work in a few hours and, well, he needed to at least pretend he was going to sleep. So he smiled.

“Yeah, I’m a big boy, I can handle myself,” he insisted. She made a face and shook her head.

“Gross. Now get some sleep and if he tries to come here, I’ll kick his ass.”

“Sounds good,” Alex agreed.

Eventually, she went down into the bunker and he went to his bedroom. All the doors were locked, all the windows were locked, and all the cameras were on. He sat in bed, his laptop open as a distraction. He refused to lay down, unable to stomach the idea of smelling Michael on his sheets, and just scrolled through whatever would keep his mind distracted.

It was hard to rationalize how he’d fucked up so badly. He should’ve just told him whenever Michael asked if he was hiding anything. But, then again, wouldn’t Michael just find something else to be pissed about? Wasn’t that what he was good at? Maybe this blissful little blip in time was a fluke. Maybe this wasn’t real. Maybe they couldn’t have good things.

And yet, when Alex’s phone lit up with a text, he dove towards it like it was the last drop of water in the desert.

Michael: i’ll come get my stuff when you’re at work tomorrow.

Alex stared at it, waiting for more to come. Waiting for an apology or even an elaboration on anything he said or, fuck, he’d even be happy with anything other than that. He put his head in his hand as he waited, desperately needing something to tell him he hadn’t just been fooling himself this whole time.

Tell me you love me, Alex thought about typing, but he didn’t. That was desperate and he didn’t want to sound it. But, god, he wanted to hear those words again. Just one more time and he’d be okay.

And then the little text bubble popped up again.

Michael: it wasn’t a punishment. It was a distraction.

Alex realized then that he either had fallen in love with the stupidest man in the world or the cruelest.

#malex #malex fic #michael guerin #alex manes #roswell new mexico #my fic #our fainted thrill carries on #michael guerin is a dick here ngl

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it-lives-in-westchester · 4 years ago

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ILITW Fanfic

A/N: So PB crushed all of my hopes and dreams....which was also a great motivation for finishing this fanfic. This is how I personally think MC and Redfield!Noah first meeting went. It’s just filled with my own headcanons and such. Never published any fanfics here before, so please be gentle with me. Named MC Claudia because that is the name I gave her while playing.

Word count: 5272

Warnings: Some bad language and mentions of death/suicide.

The woods around the small town of Westchester, Oregon always had this eerie energy to it. Everyone knew about the wild animals that lived there, especially after the “feral animals” attacks last year. Even without the animal attacks during the homecoming dance at Westchester High, every generation could remember a tragic event that happened in those woods.

There are unmarked graves of people who were sacrificed in witch rituals. A sass suicide that happened in the 70s seemingly done by a creepy cult. Countless mysterious deaths that might have just been accidents or gruesome murders. More people one can count who walked into the woods and never came out again.

Claudia Harrington was well aware of the tragedies that have happened in the woods, after all, she had lived through two of them up close. Still kinda a miracle she survived both of those events, she was not sure if that was a blessing or not. Feeling more numb than ever and her insomnia getting worse than ever.

This was the 3. time this month she had tried to make a new system with the stuff in her room. Maybe she should listen to her mom more often with her having too much stuff in there. Opening one of her drawers, it was a pile of papers, that could have been from anywhere from a week ago or 5 years ago. She sighed deeply and started to make three different piles, one to keep, one that was just blank paper she could reuse and one to throw away. God, there was a lot of crap in there she noted.

Essays from High school, Reports of stuff, notes from Ava, drafts of short stories she had written, essays from her first year at college, checklists. Then something caught her attention. A handwritten letter, it was her handwriting she was sure of it.

"Happy Birthday!" was the first thing written on it. There were no memories she had written this. She continued reading it a bit curious.

"I can't believe you and Jane wou…." Claudia crumbled the piece of paper and threw it in the trash.

Now she remembered it was a stupid thing her consular said she should try. Writing letters to people that they would never read just say everything you wanted to tell them. Claudia did not feel like it helped a whole lot. She thought she had thrown them all away, guess she had not done that.

Continued to look through the paper pile. However, the “letter” she found earlier was the only thing that was on her mind. After a few minutes, she picked up the crumpled piece of paper from the trash and started to read for herself.

Happy Birthday!

I can’t believe you and Jane would have turn 18 today, I know kind of unbelievable, it seemed like it was just yesterday we believe turning 18 meant we were finally adults, oh how wrong we were right?

For being honest with you Noah I have no idea what to write here. This whole thing just feels wrong knowing you are not really gone. I just hope you are doing well, wherever you are.

You’re probably not, but hey I can pretend right?

Good wishes, Claudia.

After reading the whole thing Claudia swallowed a bit. She could not believe she had written this crap almost 2 years ago. Damn, it already been two years since it all happened? It still felt so fresh in her mind. It still stung, after finally reconnecting with Noah after years of not talking to each other. Feeling like things would be okay between them for the first time in a long while.

But then he had to throw all of that away, lying to her face about everything. Luring her and all of her friends to a messed up game of “Are you scared?”. Knowing full well it could end with death.

Oh, how she wished she could hate him for it, after all, he had threatened her with a knife and almost killed everyone because of sheer stupidity, but she could not do it. Still feeling terrible about the fate that Noah Marshall had met all those years ago in the ruins in the woods.

The "official" story about what happened to him, was that he had a mental breakdown because of unchecked mental illnesses and trauma with losing his sister at such a young age. Delusional and hurt going back to the unsafe caves where his sister died in a hope that it could bring her back. The cave collapsed with him inside and killed him.

It was dumb, but what else were the townsfolks of Westchester gonna believe. That the corrupt spirit of his sister manipulated him and then convinced it might be a good idea to sacrifice all of their friends in a hope to free her. Then sacrificing himself in the end so he could free her from that awful half-life she had been living for 10 years. Of course not. Sometimes Claudia even had a hard time believing it as the truth. Even though she witnessed it from start to finish. Still hoping she would see him again in the hallways at school during her senior year of high school.

It was still bothering her on some level that everyone, including her, was just to ignore it. Like everyone did last time after what happened to Jane. This time around they had decided to keep contact, but still.

It could all happen again, right? Some other stupid kids finding the ruins and getting the same life as Claudia and her friends had been living. No that could not happen. They had not fixed anything, it would come back. Maybe when they are 30 or something and has to deal with the consequences then.

Looking at the clock, it was around 04:45 am. Looking out of the window it was dark the only thing she could see was the snow on the ground that reflected the moon lightning. Maybe she should..no was she crazy?

Going back was the whole reason this all started again but at the same time. If she knew earlier that Redfield was gone and it was Jane, could she have prevented it? All that damage? All those deaths? Besides she was not tired so better do something that might be effective and not just scroll through social media till the sun came up, that had seemed to become a habit of lately.

Thank god her parents were gone for the weekend, so they did not have to question her on what she was doing at 05:00 am. Putting on her winter coat and boots while going outside to her backyard. Going past the tree Cody died in and then entering her shed.

It had been a while she had been inside the shed behind her house. An old flashlight that was her fathers was on a shelf, that could be useful. After picking up the that she noticed her bat, Barb lying against the wall. That might come in handy in case things went south like last time she thought, then she grabbed it before going out in the woods.

The woods had not changed over these past 2 years. Tall trees that made it impossible to see the night sky. Weird noises in a lot of places but certain areas where there was not a single sound you could hear. Having a weird feeling that someone or something was always watching you. It almost felt like for each step she took into the woods the heavy feeling in her chest became bigger. At least the snow on the ground made it easier to see where she was going, maybe the flashlight was not necessary.

Finally, she arrived at the clearing, this was here her, Ava, Andy, and Noah had found Dan in the woods, that seemed like it was forever ago.

Halfway to the ruins now, you can do it.

However when she was halfway through the clearing suddenly she heard a tree branch snap.

Almost just by instinct, Claudia turned around. What the hell was that noise? Behind her was nothing, maybe it was a bird or another small animal… c’mon Claudia that can’t be it. She took a better grip on her bat.

“Hello?” She said with a bit of uncertainty in her voice. Looking around between the trees, for something, anything. Nothing, just darkness looking back at her. Turning on her flashlight and she started to flash it between the trees like it would comfort her a lot more if she saw something like a deer. Even then the flashlight was old, maybe older than her, so it was not like it did help to see what was between the trees. She tried to listen if any more noises came, but nothing more happened. Nothing felt too of either. She dropped her shoulders a bit, hadn't even noticed how much tension she had put on them.

C'mon, I am not even there at the ruins yet, it just my mind playing tricks on me.

However, when she turned around to walk deeper in the woods she stopped. Two bright lights were staring right at her, with a dark shadow surrounding it, like ink spilling over. Her first reaction was to get away, far away. It was kinda a blur what happened next, it was just her acting on fear and panic at the moment. She was not even sure if she had screamed or not.

The next thing she could see was the stars filling the night sky with no clouds in sight. Claudia looked up trying to catch her breath. Had she fallen over? She tried to collect all of her thoughts in her head.

What the hell, what the hell, what the hell!? Okay just think.

What she had seen was what she thought, right? Wait that would mean…..

She bolted up, nothing was in front of her. No no-no-no. She frantically started to look around the place. It was real right? No hallucination or her lack of sleep made this up. She had seen it, what she had been looking for the reason she was even here in the first place.

Then she stopped looking around when she noticed the glowing eyes staring at her from behind a tree. When it saw that Claudia was looking at it, it came out of hiding. The glowing eyes belonged to a tall thin shadow creature. She noticed that it seemed to be floating a bit of the ground. The shape was like a man, with a head and arms. So from a distance, it would just look like that, a silhouette of a person. However, if you looked closer you could see that the arms were freakishly long with long sharp fingers at the end of them, and it was a lot taller than an average man.

"Hey" Rising from the ground and started to walk towards the shadow creature. "Didn't mean to do that, you just surprised me"

She noticed for each step she took the distance between them did not change. It took around five steps before she realized what was happening

For each step, she took forward the shadow took a step backward.

When she stopped walking so did the shadow creature.

"Okay then….I'll just stand here then, good for you?"

Planting her feet on the ground. Redfi...Noah was also standing still now. On the other side of the clearing. Just looking at her while holding a hand towards his "jaw". Not much of a conversation.

Guess I have to be the one to break the ice.

"Hello….how are you doing?" That made her cringe in an instance, oh Jesus Christ what kinda question was that. This was also the first time it dawned on her that she had no plans on what to do next. Damn those impulsive thoughts in her head. Well, now it was too late to go back with this.

There was no response to her question. Just the natural sounds from the woods like birds and other small creatures coming back to her.

Well, what kind of response was she expecting?

Oh, I have been doing well Claudia, you know expect for this whole being dead thing. Besides that great.

"That was a stupid question, I just realized that" She awkwardly continued. "Maybe you should say something instead because I suck at this as you can see" Could not help herself to laugh nervously after that. Like this was an awkward family reunion with an uncle asking what’s your plan after college and not her talking to an all-powerful forest spirit who could destroy the whole town if it felt like it. It did not seem like Noah even heard her saying anything or he had the most minimalistic reactions to things, she was about to continue talking.

Then she noticed that his eyes were not staring at her directly, but rather her hand. Was still holding a strong grip on Barb, wasn't she?

Oh shit, did I hit him? shit shit shit shIT! No, relax just….

Taking a few seconds of considerations before she dropped the bat on the ground, and then kicked it far enough away she could not reach for it. Noah’s glance followed the bat and then went back into staring right into her eyes when it was out of reach.

“See… Don’t want to hurt you” she tried to give a small smile to show that she was genuine. In hindsight, that statement was almost ridiculous. What would a bat with barbed wire do against an undead forest spirit? Like if he wanted he could have probably just thrown her against a rock breaking her back in an instant. Maybe he could just drop her onto a tree, as Jane did with Cody, better just break Claudia's neck in on swift motion or maybe I should stop thinking about all the ways I could die, sounds like a plan.

No big reactions from Noah unfortunately, the only thing he did was staring at her again, like he was studying her.

Why isn’t he saying anything?

Claudia almost felt like that made it worse than it was. It was not like Redfield or Jane was that talkative in this type of state either, but they were talking, be it pretty simple.

She did not know what would have felt worse between him saying nothing or him taunting her for letting him die because she was a coward like the others would have done. At this point, she was not even sure if coming back was a good idea at all.

C’mon, I can’t give up this easily. I have to try to say something different.

“Can you talk?” that came out a lot more annoyed than Claudia intended to sound like, now it almost felt dumb asking. At least it got a reaction out of Noah, he was now tilting his head and his eyes widened she could see that the colors in them turned neon blue. Almost like he was taken back by the question.

“.....yesssssss...?”

Claudia felt every hair on her body rise. Even felt like the temperature had gone more down. That voice was the same voice that had been haunting her nightmares for years. The whispering voice that seemed to break through the silence like nails against a chalkboard. Still, even if it sounded nothing like Noah, it had to be him, right? It could not be anyone else? Maybe he remembered nothing so she could not even say it was him, because nothing that made him Noah Marshall was even left.

Jane had remembered, right? Even after 10 years and without the advantage of any of her friends knowing it was her. So he had to remember something, he had to remember Claudia, right?

“Do you remember me?” There was no point dodging the question, Claudia just had to know if he did remember. Hoping there was still something of her old friend in there.

This was the first in a long time he broke eye contact and was looking at the ground instead. Claudia tried to take one step forward, this time he did not seem to mind. It almost looked like he was too deep in his thoughts to even notice.

“My name is Claudia, Claudia Harrington, I am… your friend?” She said that last part almost in a whisper, like who knows what to even call their relationship at this point. They have not seen or talked to each other for almost two years. Last time they talked he had held a knife against her throat and then she let him kill himself. What do you even call that? Besides all types of messed up.

"Claudia..mm?" He said most likely to himself. She tried to walk a few more steps. Without a warning, he turned his gaze back to her and Claudia stopped right in her track holding her breath. Feeling like it got stuck in her throat.

He was not moving, she was not sure if it was her imagination or not, but it felt like everything had turned eerily quiet even more than before. Nothing that was living in the woods was making any noises now or knew to stay far away from where they were standing.

She could hear her heart hammering in her chest and she was wondering if Noah could hear it too.

Why did I not tell anyone what I was planing before going out here? Well, they would have probably tried to stop me. Oh, fucking christ I'm gonna die here. Aren't I?

To Claudia, it almost looked like his eyes was flickering a bit. Then he started to float a bit closer to her, but when he was just about 6 feet away he stopped. He promptly straightens up all of a sudden, It almost looked like he remembered something else.

".....leave.."

"What!? Wait What?"

Claudia had no idea how to respond or what to do with this. Was she supposed to just leave? Stay? Ask what he meant by "leave"? Had she said something wrong? Was he mad at her for everything that happened? Was there just something else unrelated? What had she done wrong? Her thoughts ran rampant. This was not making any sense to her.

Claudia looked up from the ground and Noah had not done anything. None of them had done anything. She noticed that his eyes seem to flicker a bit between the usual white, neon blue, and orange flames.

"No, I am not leaving until you answer my question," She said trying to sound as brave as possible.

"Do you remember me? Yes, or No" Trying to sound tough as hard when every instinct in her screamed she should run away and never look back.

Noah backed away and looked a bit to the left. Seemingly trying to avoid all eye contact with her.

"......Leave.." he said again, lower this time.

"No, answer my question!" Yelling back at him.

It seemed to get a reaction out of him. Turning his head and looking directly at her, she felt like his eyes were piercing through her soul.

Noah started to float a bit closer to Claudia, without breaking eye contact. He bends down so he was just a few inches away from her face. If he had been human Claudia would probably felt him breathing right up in her face and smelt his breath. Had she finally got him to remember something?

"LEEEEAVE!"

Claudia felt ringing in her ears that made her put her hands against her ears by reflex. She also closed her eyes shut to respond to the pain.

Nope, did not make him remember anything, just made it worse. Of course, I made it worse.

Slowly she opened her eyes. A face of nightmares was looking straight at her. The familiar skeletal face and bright orange eyes of flames. Which made her close her eyes immediately back again.

This situation is probably one where most would have run away screaming and never look back. Claudia was considering it. A part of her did not want to go until she got answers and a part of her felt frozen.

She was still holding her eyes shut. Nothing was happening, was he just standing in front of her? She knew something was in front of her and it was not moving. He had not hurt or touched her and the only thing he wanted was her leaving right?

She started to chant under breath

"I am not scared, I am not scared, I am not scared, I am not scared, I am not sc…"

"Huh….?" The whispering voice responded

Taking a deep breath, before opening her eyes again facing him.

"I am not scared of you" His eyes widened a bit like he was not expecting her to say that. "And I am not leaving you either," She said with the best poker face she was able to do while her heart felt like it would burst out of her ribcage at any moment.

The skeletal face with flame eyes was gone and the shadowy face with big neon blue eyes was back again. He backed away as well so he was not right up in her face and was standing a few feet away again.

"I am not leaving you okay, not again, I promise" Claudia took a hand towards him. He looked at it, almost unsure what she meant by it, Claudia continued talking:

"You don't deserve this, and I should have come back sooner, but I am here now, right?"

Trying to give a small smile. Noah glanced between her face and her hand. She stretched out her arm a bit closer to him. Maybe so he could take the hint.

"So maybe, we can be friends again?"

Suddenly Claudia saw that he tried to reach for her hand, but then he suddenly stopped. Almost frozen at the moment. He stood there for about half a minute.

"no" he started to say. He took back his hand. "no no no"

Claudia wanted to say something but Noah continued talking to himself seemingly forgetting that Claudia was even standing in front of him.

"Why back?.....worst...no no-no" He was hiding his face in his hands. Shaking his head back and forth. He continued rambling to himself for a while most of the words Claudia was catching was: "bad" "why" and "no".

"Noah? It's okay just…."

“DON’T!”

It seemed like the orange flames’ eyes were back again for a solid second. They disappeared just as quickly and he looked down at his own two hands and then at Claudia again.

".....Bye," he whispered and then turned around to leave her.

"Wait you can't just go!?" Claudia Yelled at him. He did not seem to care and continued floating away from her.

"After everything you did you can't just leave, you owe me something," she said in frustration. “bye” he replied with again. She ran so she was standing in front of him now and he stopped right in his track.

"What do you even want me to say or do?"

"...leave..." He said while walking straight through her. It did not feel much kinda like a cold breeze that went past her. Still made her shudder an insane amount.

“Hey!” She yelped and turned around to see him, still did not stop.

"...bye….leave..." he said again, waving a hand at her.

“I just want to talk! Come back! Please” It seemed like nothing she said was changing his mind, he was on the other side of clearing now. There was so much she wanted to say and in the end, she finally shouted at him:

“I’m sorry, OKAY!” she noticed Noah stopped walking away.

“.....what?” He turned around with wide eyes. Well no point holding back now, if she was never gonna see him again at least she can say everything she wanted to tell him before being gone forever. Taking a deep breath before continuing.

“I am sorry for everything that happened between us two.

I am sorry I trusted Redfield even though you were right about him.

I am sorry that I couldn’t save Jane from him as well.

I am sorry I left you after what happened to her.

I am sorry that you are…you’re..that you...” That was it, she broke, started to choke on a sob. Tears were starting to block her vision. She hid her face in her hands and continued to sob loudly to herself. When her knees started to feel weak she fell on the forest floor.

Maybe it was naive thinking that just spilling everything out was gonna make her feel or even make the situation at hand better.

It felt like an aching pain in her chest like her heart was being crushed by a pressure she could not see.

It was almost painful to breathe in. God if she started to throw up she would just die on the spot she felt like.

Guilt

That one terrible feeling she had felt constantly since the homecoming night. Been eating at her soul ever since everything happened. Thinking about all the things she could have done differently.

What if she was not an idiot as a child and backed away when a real-life ghost story wanted to be her friend.

What if she tried to talk to Noah after what happened to Jane, instead of a mutual avoidance of each other.

What if she had taken Jane’s place instead of being coward.

What if she had just tried harder to convince Noah it was another way to end Jane's messed up game.

None of her friends seemed to understand that. It did not matter how many times they told her "It's not your fault, you couldn't have stopped this" It still felt like it was her fault. Their choice that night was between life or death. They did not have to choose between killing another person or themself.

For Claudia, it felt like two people she cared about died because of her. Maybe she shouldn't feel bad after all those two tried to kill her and all of her friends. Still, she knew all the suffering they had gone through how much could have been prevented was the question if she had done different choices. Now she had the possibility to make amends with one of them and she messed up that too.

God, why can't I do anything right anymore? C'mon when was I doing anything right ever.

“...Stop crying..”

“What?” She looked up, her vision was a bit blurry because of the tears, but she did notice Noah was standing in front of her now, instead of the other side of the clearing. Then he lowered himself so they were more eye to eye.

“...Don’t cry….” He hesitantly reached out a hand and slowly patted her head for a while. She barely felt it, but that was definitely what he was doing.

"..Is..okay.." he continued talking with a bit of uncertainty, "… don't say sorry….is okay..." was he?

“....Are you comforting me?” Claudia did not know what to think, what was happening? Her worst childhood trauma, the monster who has been haunting her half her life, seemingly trying to cheer her up after upsetting her. When just moments earlier it seemed like he wanted nothing to do with her.

He froze immediately after she asked that. Almost like this was the first time he realized what he was actually doing.

“....working..?” He stopped doing, whatever he was doing. Holding his hands together, waiting for her response. It was hard reading his expression, it was after all just two bright lights that looked at her. It did not look like he had any anger behind his eyes like before as far as Claudia could tell.

“Yeah, we can say that” Claudia responded while wiping her tears away.

At least he did not leave like she feared he was going to do. It was kinda sweet, in a weird way. Maybe it was more of her old friend in there, someone who did care about her.

“....sorry too...” He quietly said. it was almost so low Claudia almost did not catch it at all.

“....hurt you...didn’t I?". He was fiddling with his fingers now and looking lower than before.

"you could say it like that" Claudia responded, a bit unsure what he was talking about this time.

"Sorry," he said again to her. "Sorry… messed up….sorry"

He could be talking about what had just happened, but Claudia's gut feeling was saying he was talking about something else. The whole reason why both of them were even here, to begin with.

"So, you do remember me?"

It was a few seconds of silence, Claudia feared a moment she had messed up again. Nevertheless, Noah started to nod a bit. Even looked like he was rolling with his eyes a bit.

"yes..of course…" she noticed that his eyes seemed to be smiling after he said that, if that even any made sense.

That made Claudia smile as well, she could feel her cheeks hurting.

"I knew you would" She finally said and she felt the tears were coming back again.

"wait… don't cry"

She started to laugh at that comment.

"No no, don't worry, I am crying now because I am so happy" She started to explain. It seemed like he tensed down a bit after she explained herself.

Then they were both sitting in silence for a while, what now? She had to admit it was kinda nice just sitting there with Noah. It was still something left of him inside this shadowy figure, now the question was how to save it. She had no ideas at the moment. Also what was she even gonna tell her friends, they were not so forgiving on what Noah had done. Also with the way he first responded to seeing her again, not the best reaction she could have hoped for. Guess she could tell them later when the time was right.

What snapped her out of her thoughts was a low hissing sound that seemed to get louder. Suddenly Noah went away and hid behind the treelines. Before Claudia could ask what was wrong she felt sunlight hitting her face that made her squint.

She had not noticed how bright it had gotten these past few hours. Guess fearing the ghost of a childhood friend might not even remember you were a bigger issue.

"Yeah….not a fan of sunlight I guess" Remembering how Redfield and Jane had reacted to it as well. She turned around where Noah was hiding between the trees.

"no...hurts a lot" Noah hissed while looking down where the sun was shining.

"I can come to visit again…. Next week? sounds good?" She gave him a thumbs up. He looked at her gesture for a while, before he copied it back. Then he was gone.

Claudia walked to were Barb was and picked the bat up.

"Well looks like I didn't need you," she said to it. She also realized that she never really apologized for potentially hitting Noah in the face, well could do that another time.

The woods were not as creepy with the morning lights shining through the tree. After around 15 minutes, she finally arrived back at her house. Going straight to her bedroom and crashed on her bed until the late afternoon.

#it lives in the woods #it lives beneath #ilitw #ilb #noah marshall #ilitw mc #fanfic #my writing #wellll this probarbly sucks #but I liked it enough to post it #sorry if the english is kinda crap because it's not my first language #claudia harrington

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nyrator · 4 years ago

Text

still feel like venting and rambling into spacee

broke up with kresna yesterday, he still hasn’t responded to me at all. I’m worried, but don’t want to keep pestering him, either. I know he really wanted us to be a thing, but I don’t think I’m built for a relationship. Maybe we can try again once the border is open and see how things go in person. But right now, we’re too frustrated and too weighed down by our own personal lives to harmonize well at the moment, and it’s not like I haven’t brought up the issue several times as well to brace him for it. Maybe it’ll just be a refreshing breather for the two of us to help get things back on track, but he can take things very personally. I hope I haven’t lost my best friend. I really, really hope I haven’t lost him for good.

He really is a good person. I can’t really give him what he needs right now- I just end up giving him more problems, and I hope this was the right decision. It felt like the only decision I had. I’m scared at how dangerous it might turn out to be. I still plan on treating him the same, if he chooses to accept it, he’s still my best friend like I said, but I feel it’s going to be a lot harder on him and I hope he can make it through this.

My boss texted me today and told me they’re closing the store down next month, which is sad. That floral shop was very good to me, I remember my boss wanting to downsize and just have me and her running the business together, if I ended up not moving to Canada. Sad that won’t happen, but glad she got a new job as a substitute teacher. They’re pretty sure I can get a manager job at any craft store if I applied (I’m doubtful), and I live somewhat close to some big ones (Joanns/Michaels/Hobby Lobby/etc), so maybe I’ll start applying there. I can’t imagine a lot of the smaller stores staying open (what is it, 20 percent of them went out of business so far since covid?), so probably not worth it to even apply to them. Will have to get a car, too. Have $10,000 in savings, theoretically it can last me all of 2021 without including spending it on a car.

Speaking about my budget out loud.

$125 a month in rent, ~$35 in electric, $65 on internet, and say ~$10 for four-ish loads of laundry a month = $235 on basic living.

Groceries, roughly $30 a month I’d say, I tend to not need much, and any food is covered under food stamps. ~$65 a month on cats. = ~ $330 a month I spend on average, plus any luxury items like video games that I might buy.

Right now I still receive about $220 every two weeks from unemployment, but that can disappear at any moment. Rent is income based, I don’t know if they took it with my unemployment or without since it was right when it got re-extended somehow, probably from covid. I was told $25 a month (I know, that’s absolutely insane), but the paperwork says $125 (still insane but I’ll take what I can get, rent is the one good thing I have going for me right now, thank you income-based senior apartment).

I also applied for another credit card, but still inexperienced at building credit- hopefully it builds quick enough where if I need a car, I can get a decent payment plan

In short, I can get by for a year without a job, theoretically, but I’d rather not. And the sooner I get a car, the better, probably- driving makes me extremely, extremely anxious, though, but I can’t really walk anywhere safely either thanks to the highways/interstates. There’s biking, but most things are on a highway uphill... And always the bus if they still run, but the bus I take is very limited on where it goes...

Another stimulus would be great (ah, politics), if only to help with the bigger purchases. Still like the idea of UBI too, even though it’s highly unlikely we’ll get anything like it any time soon.

I also thought about going back to school, maybe online courses, get something in computers. One for personal use- to make things like video games, but also to see if I can get a career in it. I know it’s a field that is in need of programmers, I just wonder if I’d be able to do it (or afford it...), feels like a big commitment for me.

Been in weird mode post-break up. Part of me does feel refreshed, like I can focus on myself again, on my projects. Another friend is trying to inspire our group to work on our fangames again before the New Year, and I feel like I might work on you&me again, finally. Maybe Ploom, too, or Skatered concept art. Maybe I’m just filling my head with these ideas to cope and not think about the terrible thing I’ve done, I dunno. Today depression hit a lot harder than yesterday.

Still playing with the idea of becoming a vtuber legitimately ever since an artist I followed became one, maybe as Lave, maybe as a completely original character and become totally anonymous about it. I’d probably do pre-recorded videos rather than streams, I’d imagine. I’m not a good speaker- not a lot to talk about, and I have a lisp and trip over my words a lot. I’d probably just play my favorite games (Yume Nikki, Cave Story, F-Zero GX, etc) and keep a shy, somewhat informational persona, or something, instead of the energetic reactionary ones I usually see. Beyond games, not sure- Q&As, if the audience is there for it, otherwise, hm. Maybe art recordings, I guess. I’d like to play music, but good ol’ dmca stuff still exists.

Chances are very slim this actually happens, and I feel like a dork for even entertaining the idea, but it’s something to think about to kill time, I suppose.

Healthwise, slowly getting back on track, but it varies. Starting to eat 1,500 calories again (mostly through chocolate, though), bought some foods to try, but no idea how to prepare. Today was a low energy kind of day, took three naps throughout it and still feel like laying in bed.

My sleep is still something- I’m always fascinated by sleep and parasomnia stuffs that I kind of want to experiment, but for my health I probably shouldn’t. One night recently I had a strange dream, more of a feeling, mixed with sleep paralysis and other things I shouldn’t mention. Got a few entries this month for my dream diary again, not sure if it’s from my crazy sleep schedules, or from actively keeping the diary again, or what.

Still on the fence about sharing the diary, if only because of how embarrassing it is. Maybe through RN, for some reason I like exposing those kinds of thoughts through RN to vent, I guess- it’s fun to embarrass Lave and not fun to embarrass me, even though that makes no sense. I don’t think I could draw those dreams, though, so maybe a written blog post on the RN blog...? I dunno.

Also slowly getting back into the ACNH life- realized I’m still missing a lot of furniture though, made a wishlist but haven’t really played with anyone lately, wish the Nooklings would actually sell new items (come on Nintendo, add another upgrade, please- I do wonder if more items than I think are limited in color selection per island, like the Nook items/surfboards). Might have to make a separate post for it laterr. Also updated my wardrobe in the game finally, not 100% on it (the skirt mainly, maybe the hat too) but overall it looks okay. Not sure why I’m such a huge fan of moccasins but pink ones are great (I’ve only owned brown ones irl). Still would like to own a hat like that, too... especially now that my hair is thinning more and more

also recipes are still a pain to get, made a checklist and it looks like I’m still missing roughly a third of the recipes, rippp (one day, giant teddy bear, wooden bookshelf, cool moon chair thing, etc...)

#text stuffs #nyrants #wondering if I should call them nyvents or something

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ayyoitsalex · 4 years ago

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Chapter 10 - My Time To Shine

From the time I was seventeen I've been responsible for the meals prepared at the biggest holiday of them all; Thanksgiving. It's taken over as my personal favorite because I get to spend the day doing what I love, and what I do best. When it comes to me cooking for thanksgiving, my family has learned a few things. I know what I'm doing, don't distract me, and don't change my music. We got the week off from school, so I stayed up at my parent's house to get prepped for the upcoming event. Everyone was curious as to what kind of stops I was pulling out this year, but as always I wasn't saying. I'd come up with some new ideas I wanted to try out, and this was as good a time as any. When my siblings moved out I had my choice of which room I wanted to call my own. I picked Selena's room since it came with the best sunset views, and got the best night time breezes. When I got to be around sixteen I made the decision to paint the walls from the dark purple to a red. I hoped Selena wouldn't be too upset at what I'd done to her room. When I moved out, our parents kept the room relatively the same, but now there's not a bunch of clothes on the floor like I'm used to seeing it. I woke up early Tuesday with the task of doing the shopping on my mind. I called up my siblings to see which one of them could accompany me. Only Natalie was available, so I waited for her to come and pick me up. Natalie unlocked the door and let herself in with baby Lexi in her arms. Before I could get up for a hug, she forced Lexi into my arms. "GOTTA PEE!" She screamed running to the bathroom. Lexi smiled at me as I held her close. "Your mommys so crazy Lexi. Did you know that?" "Yeah." She said laughing. Lexi can answer yes or no questions, but to whether or not she knows what it means remains to be seen. Natalie emerged from the bathroom looking relieved as ever. "Okay we ready?" She asked. "Yeah." Lexi said again putting her hands up. "Aha I guess that's a yes, let's get going!" I put Lexi in her carseat behind me. Natalie plugged in her phone and turned on the car. As the engine started the radio turned on. What came on wasn't music, but was some very intense whispering that sounded like it could be right in your ears. I gave Natalie a confused look before she practically slammed her hand into the off button. She fumbled around with her phone to put on actual music. "Um..what the fuck was that?" Natalie's face was turnning red. "Just some..patreon audio.." "What who's voice is that even?" "Dude it's so crazy it's this chick that does anime voices, but y'know makes them say bad things.." "Oh my god Natalie you're a freak haha." I palmed my face laughing hysterically. "Shut up! We all have our little things. This one just happens to be mine." "So..it's like audio porn?" "NO ABSOLUTELY NOT." She smacked the back of my head. "You little shit head.." "Ow!" "I am still your big sister y'know! Need to show me my respect!" We continued our drive to the store. When we got there Natalie just followed behind as I pulled items into the basket. I was on a mission to get everything i needed. I didn't look back a few times, and at times lost Natalie through the crowd. "Elizabeth! Slow down a little!" When we finished checking out we went back home to put them all into the fridge. "Jesus how big is this turkey?" "Fifteen pounds." I answered looking through the vegetables, and looking through my checklist. "Can I just say I'm so glad you're good at cooking?" She hugged me. "Aha you could stand to mention it more often." The front door unlocked by Selena with her kids and Sam. "Helllo?" Selena called out for anyone home. "We're in here!" I answered. The kids rushed into the living room diving onto the couches. "Excuse me boys!" I stood there hands on my hips. Cole and AJ looked at one another before making their way towards me. I leaned down. "Hi aunt Liz." They said together hugging me, and kissing my cheeks on each side. "Love you guys." I smiled mussing up their hair as they walked back. "Well hey sister, excited for thanksgiving?" I turned to Selena. "Always! Gotta break out my fancy maternity pants so I won't lose a button." "Oh my god haha." I started taking out bowls to do as much prep work as I could before hand to make my life easier. That meant dicing up my mire poix, dry brining my turkey, making my compound butter, and cutting up bread for stuffing. My sisters both gathered around like I was doing magic, when I was just peeling vegetables. They continued looking on amazed as I chopped vegetables so easily and at times without looking. It might be stupid but it really does make me feel special. It's not that my sisters are bad cooks, I think it's just the fact that I'm going to school for cooking they think I have some more efficient way of doing simple things. Which I totally do. "Lizzy are you sure you don't need any help?" Selena looked at me worried. I put down my knife and shook the aches out of my hand. "Yeah yeah I got it. You know me, I like doing it all." "Mm well if you say so. We can help too.." "I know I know, and I will need some help in the next couple days and maybe using you guys' ovens." "Jesus Liz what's all being made?" "Top secret!" Both Selena and Natalie rolled their eyes while I rubbed my hands together smiling devilishly. "Though if you really are set on helping these are some recipes you guys can do, and I made them as easy as possible." "Are you calling us stupid?! I HAVE A MASTERS DEGREE ELIZABETH!" Selena said faking getting mad. I rolled my eyes and went back to my cutting board. -Thursday- It's the big day and everything needs to go as planned or else I might kill somebody. I'm usually more go with the flow and easy going, but when it comes to cooking there is only one way to do things and it's my way. I was up around 5 am to start slow cooking some of the bigger proteins like the turkey and beef wellington I prepped the night before. Before putting the turkey into the oven I massaged the smoked garlic compoud butter underneath the skin. It's not the nicet feeling thing to do, but it makes a whole hell of a lot of difference down the line. I was still a bit sleepy, so I turned on the tv to wake me up a little. I flipped through the literal hundred of channels trying to find anything, but nothing was on. I turned on my newest favorite podcast and listened to "dead meat with James and Chelsea". I'm the only one of my family who is a huge horror movie buff. The only person I can get to go with me is Nathan, but he's not a addict like I am. Mom came down about an hour and a half after I did. "The only day I can expect you up this early." Mom laughed. "Well what can I say I love you all that much." I flashed a big smile to her. "Mm well happy thanksgiving my little head chef." She kissed the top of my head before going to get a cup of coffee. Nathan dropped by first around eight, and like the caring brother he is, he brought me breakfast. "Special delivery." He smirked handing me a bag of donuts. "Thanks brother!" I stuffed one in my mouth while giving him a hug. "Dinners gonna be ready about 4!" "Alright I'll have the girls all dressed and ready to see what you've come up with this year." "ITS FINNA BE LIT!" I smiled jumping up and down. "Right right..lit." Nathan not the one for today's slang terms. "Soph is making pies by the way!" Nathan said walking out the door. "Oh sweet! I knew I could trust one of you." -11 am- I was starting to get a little tired, but it wasn't anything I wasn't used to. I opened the fridge for the perfect remedy of an energy drink. I'd changed from my morning pajamas to a pair of jeans and my chef's coat to really feel the part. "Just like your father." Aunt Camryn said from behind me. I practically spit all over the fridge. "JESUS CHRIST." I put my hand over my chest. "I didn't hear anyone come in! My hearts like racing now." "Mm well thats from your lil energy nonsense. Drink coffee like an adult." "HUMPH. No coffees gross." "Peasant." Aunt Camryn muttered sipping her coffee. I turned my attention to the stove where I had potatoes, pasta, and stuffing working. Aunt Camryn peeked over my shoulder to see what I was working with, but I shielded her off. "No peeking!" I practically shrieked as aunt Camryn took a step back. "Good lord Elizabeth you're not re-inventing the wheel here." "This is the one time I get to show out and I want to surprise. So please shoo." I even gave her a little hand wave motion. Aunt Camryn looked like she was about to smack the life out of me. Mom walked in probably saving my face. "Nicole! She just told me to shoo!" She couldn't believe my audacity. "Haha c'mon Camryn leave Elizabeth to do her thing. You good here sweetie?" "Yeah I got it mom." She winked at me before guiding aunt Camryn into the other room. Selena walked in carrying trays of appetizers to appease guests while I finished cooking. "Well how's it coming along baby chef?" Selena smiled giving me a hug. "Everythings on schedule for 4 pm dinner." "Awesome, well I brought something special for you sincey you're being so great." She rummaged through the bags and pulled out a bowl of macaroni and cheese. It's my ultimate comfort food, and Selena would always make it for me when she would babysit. "YESS!" I ripped off the saran wrap and dug right in. I forgot I even had a hunger need until the first bite hit. "See not the only one who can cook. I also made more for dinner later for an extra side." "See you're helping!" I said like I was talking to one of her boys. "Funny." Selena looked at me arms crossed. I got up and gave her another hug and kiss as a thank you. Although I didn't wipe my mouth enough so Selena had bits of cheese on her. "*sigh I expect things like this from my kids, not my adult sister." She pulled out wipes for her face. "Oh! I have stuffing in that tray that needs to be finished off, can you do it in your oven please?" "Yeah sure, anything else?" I took a minute to run through the list in my head. "There's a tray of biscuits that need to be baked there. They're all portioned out, just put them in at 375, and brush the butter on top when they're done." "YES CHEF!" Selena saluted to me smiling. "Damn right yes chef!" "Okay we'll be back around 3." I pulled the turkey and beef at the same time to let them rest. The smell was absolutely intoxicating, roasted garlic, lemon, parsley, and bacon. It all was coming out the way in envisioned it. Mom helped me get all the serving plates while dad and uncle Logan set the table. Aunt Camryn "supervised" along with her glass of wine. My siblings all began to arrive with their families, so I stood at the door awaiting my tolls from the kids. "Happy thanksgiving auntie Liz here this is for you!" Daisy smiled happy as always. She hugged me tight and handed me a card she made of her handprint drawn into a turkey. "Thank you Daisy!" I squeezed her tight before moving onto the next in line. "What you got for me Julian?" I smiled down at him. He didn't say anything at first going straight into the hug. "Love you auntie Liz." AJ and Cole were next. "I wonder which of you loves me more..?" I said twiddling my thumbs. They shoved their way into my arms hugging as tight as they could. "Aha okay okay I see you both love me a lot." They laughed letting go. I looked at the table with the all the food I'd prepared along with sides prepared by everyone else, and marveled at it all. When everyone finally got a look at it they did as I did and were in awe of it. Along with the two stars of the show there was grilled asparagus, roasted brussel sprouts with pancetta, butter poached shrimp, pumpkin risotto, roasted acorn squash, mashed potatoes, creamed spinach, stuffing, baked macaroni and cheese with a parmesan crust, and garden salad. The smells mixed together in the dining room and I could see everyone starting to salivate just a little at the sight. The dessert table looked just as amazing with the contributions of my sister-in-laws and siblings. "Elizabeth this looks so good. You did a great job." Selena putting her hands over my shoulders. "Yeah good job Liz it smells incredible." Nathan said looking over all the choices spread across the table. "I can't believe you did this on your own.." Natalie smiled. They all surrounded me in a big group hug before we all joined hands. Dad looked to me and nodded. "Thank you god for bringing us all together and allowing me to show my family just how much they mean to me with a skill you've blessed me with. We give thanks for all the food we're about to have and pray for a good end to the coming year. Amen." "Amen." Everyone collectively answered back. Mom handed me my carving knife and I made the first cut into serving everyone. When everyone had a full plate we took our seats around the house. I plated up last and sat at the table between Sophia and Selena. "I'm so glad I've got my stretchy jeans on Liz. Cause definitely going back for more." Selena smiled eating. As dinner went on everyone would walk by and drop compliments to me and say thank you. It's what made it all worth it. Everyone seeing what I could do, and being recognized for it. I didn't care that my legs hurt from standing all day, my fingers had blisters from the knives, or I was tired beyond belief. Knowing that everyone enjoyed it so much made it worth going through. The kids dropped by me again to say thank you before starting dessert. "You did real good hon." Dad said kissing the top of my head as he walked towards the sink. "We'll all get the dishes sweetie. Take a break finally." Mom nudged me over to the recliner. "Yes will definitely do that." I collapsed into the chair, putting my feet up. The pain in my legs slowly subsiding while my body began to relax. I didn't move for a good twenty minutes before Selena walked by with two plates of pecan pie slices for the both of us. She handed one to me and we cheers'd our forks. I wasn't a pie person growing up, but they've grown on me. After dessert hit me everyone began contemplating the next step. My siblings finished off the dishes, and the kids were all starting to look sleepy. I cracked open another energy drink and split it with Selena. "So are we doing this?" Natalie asked eagerly. "Can you watch the kids?" Selena turned to mom. "We'll just put them to bed. We won't be gone more than a few hours." "Aw man guys go without me you know I hate it." Nathan waved off. "BABE! No way you gotta we can get a new tv." Sophia nudged him. Nathan's eye's lit up. "Yeah the kids can just sleep here while you're out. Oh

#book

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varibean · 5 years ago

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figuring out how to fit

chapter 2! read chapter one here or here

Guy hadn’t realized that Sam’s shirt was, well, a shirt until two weeks of living with him.

They had fallen into a rhythm of sorts after a short time. Guy would wake up first, get the morning chores done, then Sam would be quick to follow to make breakfast. Sometimes he fixed two helpings of green eggs and ham and other times he would make Guy and oatmush drizzled with honey and topped with a strawberry because, while it was true that Guy did like the green dish, sometimes it was just a bit too much of a good thing for him. After eating he’d go off to work, leaving Sam to fill his day with whatever he pleased.

When he came home it was the same checklist as the morning but in reverse. Dinner would be fixed, dishes would be put away, depending on Sam’s earlier activities the apartment would be cleaned as they saw fit, they’d sit down and watch a show, and then the two of them would go to bed with Sam curled up against Guy’s side in a peaceful sleep.

That rhythm was disrupted slightly one night when the temperature rose so high that even the most air conditioned complexes were slightly damp with heat. It was an unexpected heat spike, with no one in town prepared for the weather and what it would bring. All day at work there had been nothing but air conditioner and ice maker repair for Guy, making him rightfully tired and a good bit sweaty when he returned home.

The heat was so bad that even Sam, ball of energy that he was, was lethargically laying on the couch as Guy stepped through the threshold.

“Oh I’m sorry, didn’t realize you were so busy. Should I come back later?” Guy said, sarcasm and humor dripping from his voice.

To his credit, Sam actually managed a drowsy, half hearted raspberry in Guy’s direction before flopping back against the couch once again.

The night moved slowly as ever. The two lazily made dinner and ate without much of their normal chit chat. Both were too hot and too worn to even bother with the dishes and after an icy shower for Guy followed by a cool bath for Sam, they decided to head off to bed without much of their usual nightly fanfare of cleaning and watching tv. It was fine by Guy, who wanted nothing more than a long night of sleep.

As he was getting himself tucked in however, Sam did something he’d never seen the slight Who do before. Sam reached down to the hem of his shirt, which Guy had always just assumed was part of the pattern of his fur, and lifted it above his head.

“It is definitely waaaaay too hot to sleep in that thing. I’m gonna have to wash it tomorrow just to today’s funky flow off of it.”

Guy only half paid attention to the words Sam was saying. His eyes were fixed on the other’s form, more accurately, his stomach. The fur on Sam’s chest faded in color as it got closer to his center. The bright and vibrant yellow fading to a calm and mellow shade of itself. It looked softer as well compared to the rest of himself. But the real attention grabber was the star, a light white color that almost faded in with the rest of the yellow, but was just bright enough to be seen, that was placed on his belly.

Without thinking about the words, Guy opened his mouth to state his observation.

“You’re part Sneetch.”

The words were blunt, with a hint of awe at this new fact that he had just learned about his best friend.

For a second he worried that he had said the wrong thing as he noticed Sam’s face blush a light pink in the fading light of their moonlit room.

“Uh, yeah I guess I am. I mean, I never really bothered to check with one of those Who-N-A test thingies but I sure do have the star!” Sam puffed up his form slightly and positioned his hands in a display like form for his star.

There was something stiff about his movements though that had nothing to do with the heat.

“Come on over here.” Guy said.

Even with the boiling heat Sam still gladly flopped onto Guy as if the Knox was a bed, his back pressed against the chubby comfort of his friend’s body.

In turn, Guy wrapped his arms around Sam. His fingers went to the soft pattern now on display and was pleased to find that the downy feather like texter was as fluffy as it had seemed from afar.

“Sam, your mom, was she also a-?”

“No. I mean, not that I could remember. Maybe she was half Sneetch or something but if she was I don’t remember it. I think I must’ve got it from my dad, whoever he might’ve been.”

Talking about Sam’s parents was always a hard subject. It had gotten easier with time, Sam always making plans to find her and recounting the few and far between stories of what he actually remembered about her to Guy.

The room was silent for so long that Guy thought for a moment that Sam had managed to drift off to sleep without his knowledge but he could feel the conscious breathing of his friend’s body against his own as they sat there; the kind of breathing that was too precise and even to be accidental.

“Back at the orphanage,” Sam started again suddenly, “the Sneetch kids would pick on me. The ones without stars said that I wasn’t good enough to play with them. And the ones with stars said that since my star wasn’t green I didn’t belong with them either. After that nobody wanted to play with me because if the Sneetch kids thought you were weird, everyone thought you were weird. So I started wearing a shirt to hide it. Seems pretty stupid to still do it now, I mean, I guess I just got used to it. Hiding it.”

Every fact Guy learned about Sam’s life before him hurt. How anyone could be so needlessly cruel to him seemed so absurd. But that thought just led to him thinking about his own behavior to Sam before he let him in and that hurt even more.

“They were nothing but a bunch of yipping stuck up snobs. They wouldn’t know a perfect star if it hit ‘em right in their beaks.”

With the moon fading behind wisps of clouds Guy couldn’t see Sam’s face, but he could just tell that the other was smiling.

The heat didn’t seem as unbearable anymore as Sam cuddled further against Guy’s fur. And when Guy finally fell asleep, it was with his hands tightly clasping Sam’s as they rested against the soft fluff of the star on his belly.

_________

The morning proved to be much more bearable than the night, with the previous temperatures cooling off drastically. It was still slightly unpleasant, but with the right attitude almost unnoticeable.

When Guy got up and ready that morning he elected to again forgo chores in favor of making breakfast. He wasn’t as good at cooking as Sam was but after a while he found himself becoming halfway decent in the kitchen.

He cracked the eggs, cooked up the ham, and buttered himself oat toast to go right as Sam woke up. He was sad to see that he had his shirt on once again, the golden white star covered up by the sunshine yellow fabric that faded in nicely with the rest of his fur.

“Well good morning and a rise and shine to you Mister Master Chef! I thought I smelled something utterly delectable cooking.”

Guy rolled his eyes at Sam’s cheery compliments. He didn’t doubt that Sam meant them with all of his heart but he always layered the flattery on thick.

“It’s just frying up eggs Sam. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out how to do it.”

“No but being a Master Inventor must help the process. You’ve got the nimble, inventive hands just ready to...do whatever it is that inventors do to make a good breakfast!.”

A plate was placed in front of Sam as Guy held himself back from rolling his eyes again. Twice in one minute couldn’t be healthy for his eyesight, he mused.

“Enjoy it because that’s the last of it we have. Gonna have to go grocery shopping here soon. I’ll pick something up for dinner tonight so don’t worry about it.”

“I never do.” Although the words coming out of Sam’s egg loaded mouth sounded more like ‘ah nempher dphf.’

It was odd how endeared Guy could be with other while egg yolk and ham gravy was dripping down the side of his face. One of Sam’s many charms was that he was the most charming when he wasn’t even trying.

So, with that thought lingering in his mind, Guy gathered up his toast and his work tools and before heading out the door, leaned down to kiss the corner of Sam’s mouth.

And with that he left, grinning like a cat who caught the canary.

#green eggs and ham #geah #briefcase buddies #briefcase boyfriends #guy am i #sam i am #zk fic #heyo!!!! smooch time!!!!

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homenum-revelio-hq · 5 years ago

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Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix, Gabe!

You have been accepted for the role of CARADOC DEARBORN, with your requested faceclaim change to Michael B. Jordan! Your application was so lovely. I particularly loved how you showed Caradoc’s personality as having changed since his mother’s death and their close relationship was beautiful. I also enjoyed how you incorporated Caradoc’s role in the Order and how he’s not always as he seems. I am so excited to have you as part of this roleplay!

Please take a look at the new member checklist and send in your account within 24 hours! Thank you for joining the fight against Voldemort!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME: Gabe

AGE: 22

TIMEZONE: GMT-3

ACTIVITY LEVEL: I’m really free lately so I can be around pretty easily, at least popping in every other day to do threads on most weeks. Weekends are a little busy for me, as I tend to take that aside for socializing, but on week days I’m pretty much always around. Especially in the evenings.

ANYTHING ELSE: [TRIGGERS REDACTED] As far as experience, I’ve been in several roleplay groups on tumblr for the past 8 years or so, many of them Harry Potter (and mostly marauders) themed! In fact, my first RP experience was a marauders era group when I was about 14 and barely knew English, so writing in this world always feels a bit like coming home.

CHARACTER DETAILS:

NAME: Caradoc Dearborn

AGE: 28

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: Cis male, he/him/his, pansexual. If you asked him, though, you probably wouldn’t get so quick of an answer (you’d probably get a lecture instead). Truth is, coming from a pureblood family, gender and sexuality haven’t ever been topics in the foreground of his mind. He’s more of a liberal when it comes to it, he’ll be attracted to whoever he feels attracted to, and that’s the end of that; labels are for muggles. He’s sure his father would want him to have a pureblood wife to give him a pureblood heir to carry the family name, but Caradoc isn’t too worried about that for now.

BLOOD STATUS: Pureblood

HOUSE ALUMNI: Hufflepuff

ANY CHANGES: I’d love to play him as Michael B. Jordan, if that’s okay! I find that his face fits better with what I have in mind, and Michael also has more resources, from what I’ve researched so far. I’m pretty visual when it comes to building characters, and I like to use gifs whenever I can, so having a proper range of resources is important to me.

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

PERSONALITY:

Caradoc’s personality can be divided into two big blocks of before and after – the big catalyst dividing them being his mother’s passing. He used to be all smiles and easy laughter before. Even with his parents’ constant warning, the severity of it all never used to bother him. He spent his years at Hogwarts charming away professors and making friends, and anyone would describe him as a laid back, easy-going bloke.

Now, not so much.In the current present, Caradoc has a lot more baggage weighing down on his shoulders. He is private, a lot more emotionally shut off, and his biggest focus is set on winning this war. Meeting new people and making friends isn’t his priority, and he doesn’t mind being called “boring” for not taking a joke if it means he’s keeping everyone in check. Contrary to popular belief, he is easily amused and can take a joke – he’s just not as good at externalizing it as everyone else. He has too much on his plate now, and most days, forcing out a smile feels like it might take all of his energy.

He is decisive to the point of stubbornness, and he’ll stand for what he believes in even if it drags him to an early grave, like a true Hufflepuff. He’s never been good with plants or caring for others’ health, like many others in his house, but he always had that same protectiveness in him. He’s empathetic and sensitive, carrying out what his mother had taught him, and his heart is bigger than his body, even if he doesn’t show it much.

A lot of people seem to trust him, and he doesn’t take that lightly. In fact, it’s part of the reason why he doesn’t worry about being called a stick-in-the-mud. He knows being more sober and stern is what makes him easy to trust, as opposed to many of his peers who are more out-going and childish. The amount of trust put on him doesn’t go unappreciated, and he always hopes to honor that sentiment.

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY:

Caradoc was born to a Hufflepuff mother and a Slytherin father, and as you would expect from such a pair, Caradoc would say he got the best of both worlds.

His mother was a kind soul, gentle and optimistic even in the darkest of times, a strongly opinionated woman who never bowed down to the magical society’s standards – it’s no wonder she ended up in Hufflepuff during her time at Hogwarts. She always made sure to cater to Caradoc’s softer side growing up, and he’s terribly grateful for it now. In the world they live in today, it’s more important than ever to be able to see the beauty in the small things, and if he still has the strength to hold on to any last slither of hope he has, he owes that to his mother.

Losing his mother made a great impact in Caradoc’s life. They were so close that he still feels as if a part of him died with her that day, and anyone who knew him before and after the incident might agree. He didn’t always carry the weight he does now, and he’d been a much different teenager. Once upon a time, when his biggest issues were simply potions lessons and house points, his face would light up with more ease and his laughter would boom across the dining halls more often than not. It was her death that changed him. He lost a best friend, his most important life support, and he vowed to never lose sight of what really matters, and make her fight count.

His father, who had always been a stricter parent, has found himself with hollow eyes and softer edges since the loss of his wife. He and Caradoc had never been too close, but grief pushed them together. For Caradoc, at sixteen, losing his mom felt like losing the glue that kept the family together. His father had always been caring, but he wasn’t a warm presence in their house; not distant, but callous, lacking some of the empathy that was so present in his wife’s personality.

Caradoc is closer to his father now than he was in teenage years, but he still wouldn’t say they’re good friends. They’re family, bonded through blood and grief more than anything, and as much as he loves his predecessor, he likes to keep things at an arms-length distance. The older man has very strict beliefs about how his son should live his life, ideals that are outdated and too biased, in Doc’s opinion, and on that they may never see eye-to-eye.

It hardly matters to Caradoc if he will find a pureblood woman to marry or not, let alone to have children with – he thinks bringing new children into their current world would be immoral, even. He doesn’t have time to think about futile things such as wedding plans when there’s a war happening in his backyard, though the idea forces its way across his mind weekly, every time his father mentions the possibility of an arranged union, if he fails to find someone for himself. The only thing that keeps him from caving to his father’s expectations is knowing that his mother, wherever she is, is probably rolling her eyes at them.

OCCUPATION:

Caradoc is an Obliviator, working for the ministry (and most of all, the Order) to keep their world safe behind closed doors. He likes to believe it’s the right field for him, as he’s able to help others and make himself useful, but it’s not always an easy job when he finds himself in crossroads between morality and safety. It’s tiring, and it takes an emotional toll bigger than he ever expected it to.

ROLE WITHIN THE ORDER/THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ORDER:

Keeping himself and everyone else centered – that’s Caradoc’s main goal.He’s aware of what the others say, and he’s been called many names, everything from hyper-focused to stick-in-the-mud, but it doesn’t bother him. If no one else will take the role of bad cop, he’ll gladly do so, and remind everyone that this is not a book club or meetings for afternoon tea, their fight has to come first. It’s easy for him to feel out of place in there, even as a member of the inner circle. Sometimes, it feels like he operates on a completely different system than the other members, at least emotionally. Overall, he has genuine faith that they can win this – otherwise he would’ve given up by now –, even if he’s not always so trusting of all the members.

SURVIVAL:

Caradoc stays low, and that isn’t so hard when you’re not looking to make new friends. He moves periodically, every year or so, and he always keeps a suitcase packed with his most precious belongings, just in case he needs a quick escape. He doesn’t exactly hide from the world, given his job as an Obliviator, but he keeps himself quiet enough that he doesn’t raise suspicion. For anyone outside of the Order, he’s just an odd bloke who gets his job done and doesn’t like to hang out much. In reality, Caradoc is constantly mapping out escape routes and keeping an eye on everyone around him, and he won’t hesitate to throw the first spell if he doesn’t see a way out.

RELATIONSHIPS:

Relationships can be hard for Caradoc for anyone who’s met him after the death of his mother. If a part of him truly died with her, that part was his emotional availability. Unlike many others, he’s seen what this war can do, how it can rip someone out of your life as quickly as the blink of an eye, and part of the reason he’s so closed off is to avoid losing someone again. He already has his dad to look after, and, as much as he’d like to deny it, all of the Order, too. These are people he holds near and dear to his heart, and he’s already painfully protective of them, he can’t let himself get any closer.

Some specifics that aren’t in his bio:

ALICE LONGBOTTOM: As much as he may not trust her husband, Caradoc is actually quite fond of Alice. She’s a solid presence in the Order, someone who isn’t as much of a firecracker as the newcomers, and yet, doesn’t carry the exhaustion some of the other older members have. She’s someone he trusts entirely, and he hopes she knows that.

DORCAS MEADOWS: She is annoying, that’s for sure. Even so, of course Caradoc would be fond of her, as a fellow Hufflepuff – and one that reminds him so much of his younger self, no less. He’ll probably deny it if you ask him, but he finds her antics quite entertaining, and he likes having her around. In fact, he thinks all of the younger members are incredibly important to keep the organization alive and burning, and he thinks their spirits are always uplifting to have around when his faith is running a little low. He’s never had a sibling, but he imagines this is what having a younger sister would be like.

CONNOR BROWN: There aren’t many people who remember the Caradoc from before, and maybe that’s why hanging out around Connor feels so easy, sometimes. The two couldn’t be more different from each other if they tried, but more often than not, Caradoc finds himself hanging around at the Ganymede Gentleman’s Club for his company, as well as to let himself be entertained by the various performers there. The place (and Connor) is usually bright and loud enough to clear his mind when he needs a distraction, and you might think he looks like someone is forcing him to be there, but you might just catch glimpses of a smile if you look closely enough.

OOC EXPLORATION:

SHIPS/ANTI-SHIPS: I don’t have any ships in mind yet. I think it’ll be extremely fun to watch him navigate a relationship and romance, if it happens, since he’s actively trying to avoid one. I’m definitely very open to it happening, even if it’s not my main focus or goal right now. Whoever he has chemistry with, I’ll be happy to write out.

WHAT PRIVILEGES AND BIASES DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE?

As much as the alumni of his house in particular are good at trying to end prejudice, Caradoc is still an only child of two purebloods, and bound to have some ideas drilled into him from before he could think for himself.

For the most part, he’s been good at breaking down stereotypes and rearranging his mind to be kinder towards others, and to recognize his privileges. But most importantly, he’s good at hiding it. Caradoc is inquisitive, but he’s the type to think three times before he speaks, which means he keeps a lot to himself. Despite his father’s strict and old-fashioned beliefs, he came out a pretty open-minded bloke, so he’ll listen to anyone who wants to share their story. He never claims to understand what other people go through, and he does his best to take their word for it when they speak up. He’s only mildly aware of his position in the world, as a man from a wealthy and well-known family, and how lucky he is for it.

That isn’t to say he doesn’t have his biases, of course. The ghost of his father’s underlying bigotry towards muggleborns is the only bias he’s painfully conscious of, and one still present, but that he actively fights to change. He still catches himself surprised when a muggleborn performs better than a pureblood at a magical task, and he still has the instinct to twist his nose at muggles’ weird habits and ways to raise their children, but he’s gotten better at catching those thoughts and shooing them away before they develop.

When it comes to werewolves, he definitely has a bone to pick. If asked, he’d tell you that it’s simply a horrible curse to fall upon someone and that he feels sorry for them, but if he ever found out about Remus, he’d be the first suggesting to kick the boy out of the Order. He doesn’t think they can be trusted. There’s not much they know about half-breeds in general, and when it comes to such an important cause like theirs, they can’t be taking any chances.

Another very specific, sort of odd bias he has would be against people who choose to build families in the world they currently live in. There are more pressing issues than diapers and bottles right now, and bringing an innocent child into this mess – not to mention when there are so many orphans out there – feels absurd to him. He understands accidents happen, but for the people who actively choose pregnancies in such chaos, he’s appalled.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO?

I found this place because a friend showed it to me, and I was terribly excited to join because boy oh boy, do I miss marauder-era groups. Fun fact, in my first ever group RP here on tumblr, I played a Caradoc for a while! It was short-lived and terrible because I was a teen learning to write, and I like this Doc much, much better. I was originally going to apply for Emmeline, ended up deciding against it because an app for her came in and I figured I’d fill another role – and it worked out for the best, because I’m so much more excited about Caradoc! I’m looking forward to exploring the relationships within the Order and seeing all the chaos that will surely happen once they all run loose. Doc is a character with a lot of space to grow and who could be in the middle of many plot points, being an assertive voice and part of the inner circle of the Order, so I’m thrilled about all of this.

PLOT DROP IDEAS (OPTIONAL): I’m not sure if it’s much of a plot drop idea, but I think Caradoc’s profession could be used as a reason for suspicion later on. It was Nicky who suggested it first, actually, that someone (likely muggleborn, since purebloods rely more on Obliviators) could start growing a little wary of his job. Since he works erasing people’s memories, it wouldn’t be crazy to wonder if he’s done it to any of them before – at least not in a time where everyone is doubting everyone. So that’s just a thought.

ANYTHING ELSE? Nope! Thank you for reading, and sorry for rambling! aaa

#homenumaccepted #harry potter rpg #hprp #harry potter roleplay #hp roleplay

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