#but that still proves my point romance is alive
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cabeswaterdrowned · 1 year ago
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The way I love a spin-off paranormal/urban fantasy series of a more popular paranormal/urban fantasy series that’s set after the events of the first series with different characters and the female protagonist only featured in the last book or last couple of books of the original series but developed a friendship with the female lead of the og series in them, and the spin off is set in California where there’s a murder mystery going on and the main couple is a blonde girl with brown eyes and a brunette boy with green eyes who paints, and their love is forbidden because of the fantastical government which the storyline/themes are extremely critical of and also there’s familial/psuedo-familial drama and exploration of parts of the magical lore of the world the og series didn’t get into as much (witchcraft/alchemy for bl faeries for tda). 
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sorryimananti-romantic · 1 year ago
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Sunrise
soldier!san x soldier!reader
military dilf/milf agents working in the special forces au
word count: ~29k
genres and warnings: mostly angst, sometimes fluffy, smut (mdni), violence warnings, past trauma, blood and weapons, basically its war but san makes it better <3
synopsis: you and san are majors in the special forces, having trained together after your sector was occupied. you both work as partners in your team now, surviving through hell together and having each other's back. you think the idea of romance while being in the military is stupid for a number of reasons, but san thinks otherwise and decides to prove his point, making you question your beliefs.
manager-nim: @eightmakesonebraincell (we talked about ateez as military dilfs and this happened LOL)
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“I’ve had enough of grown men acting like children,” you muttered to yourself, trying to find the scissors in the box of instruments, shuffling them loudly and not realising you were holding your breath until the patient in front of you helped by picking the scissors right out as if they had been right there the entire time time. 
“What was that?”
You glared at the grown man you had referred to now having heard your complaint, a faint smirk crawling on his lips as if taunting you- and perhaps, he was. You were acting like a child too. You were feeling like a child ready to burst at him.
You said nothing, only cut the gauze and secured it around the wound you had just stitched. His eyes continued to bore holes into you and you continued to ignore it as you took the ointment and a cotton swab, applying it gently on his grazed cheekbone. 
“You’re clenching your jaw a bit too hard right now, Major Seo. You don’t want to end up being unable to sleep because your jaw hurts
 again.”
Referring to the time you hurt your jaw- the only time you lost your footing even in your own memory. It made it on your Top Embarrassing Moments list, and he was a part of every item on that list. And the fact that your squad wouldn’t let you live it down made it worse. After all, you had lost your footing and bumped into a shelf because Major Choi caught your eye when he was taking off his jacket.
Major Choi San. Your squad member but probably your worst enemy too. 
“At least I didn’t cut my arm trying to run after a cat, Major Choi.”
“The cat might have stepped on a landmine-”
“The cats are not that dumb,” you put a bandage on his cheekbone and intentionally pressed it harder than you had to, making sure this jab hurt with the one you had made verbally- referring to the time he almost stepped on a landmine after drinking. He had been grounded for weeks after and you had enjoyed every bit of peace that followed. “We literally have a mission in two days, Major.”
“Ah, don’t tell me you care,” Major Choi scoffed out loud and you couldn’t help but glance around you, noticing very well how the other nurses were eyeing the two of you while they treated their patients. You understood them but at the same time, you didn’t. You understood that most of them found him intimidating and for all the right reasons. You didn’t (though that was questionable too) because you two had trained together since the very beginning. 
So, why did Major Choi refuse to be treated by anyone else other than you? Was it simply to get on your nerves? In that case, he should know he was already doing a good enough job. Or was it because you two were the only ones who were still here, still alive, after spending almost a decade on the field together? Or maybe it was because of that one time you both shared a traumatic experience-
You didn’t care enough, you told yourself. 
“Of course I care,” you began, wrapping up the sprawled instruments on the trolley. “I will have to do twice the amount of work without you. And my risk of dying increases by a solid 14 percent. Of course I’d rather have you on the team.”
Major Choi rolled his eyes, getting up and wearing his jacket again, watching you close the medical kits and roll the trolley to a corner, shaking his head in amusement when you flipped a finger at him and went ahead to report him. He followed right behind you, wondering how to bait you into not reporting to their leader at all.
“Major Seo,” he called but you ignored him, knowing that ‘pleading’ tone very well. “Major Seo
 Pretty.”
You rolled your eyes so hard you felt a sharp pain go through your skull. He was always making something up with your last name ‘Seo’, adding adjectives so he could call you something like ‘so angry’ or ‘so bossy’. You hated it and it had been a mistake to react to it in the beginning because he never let it go again.
“Say something like that again and you’ll have me presenting an exaggerated report. You won’t be seeing sunlight for a while, Major.”
“So feisty,” he shook his head and you stopped, turning to glare at him and he realised then, shaking his head furiously. “I didn’t mean it like that. Promise.”
You sighed, tuning out his rambling and knocking at the squad leader’s door. When you heard the familiar clearing of his throat as an answer, you stepped inside and the two of you saluted in synchronisation until the man nodded.
“Sergeant Kim, reporting to you from Squad 8,” you called and the sergeant scoffed.
“Major Choi got in trouble again?”
“Yes, Sergeant,” Major Choi decided to speak for himself. “I was
 saving a cat from a landmine.”
“How many times have I told you to leave the cats alone, Major?”
“17 times as of now, Sergeant!” Major Choi saluted and you stifled a smile. The Sergeant asked you to report the damage and you did- it wasn’t too bad but if you had to go on the mission tomorrow instead of the day after like planned, he wouldn’t be able to join.
“If we have to go to the field tomorrow,” Sergeant Kim concluded, “You’ll stay back.”
“But, Sergeant-”
“And we better have clean rooms and a fresh meal when we get back,” Sergeant Kim glared at him. “If we go the day after
 then you can join.”
You felt the Major shift from one foot to another and were reminded of the boy he used to be- when he was still Choi San and not Major Choi- suddenly feeling nostalgic. Some habits never changed. The Major cleared his throat and saluted in answer and you followed, leaving to go back to your rooms. 
You both walked in silence as you approached the dorms and just as you were about to part ways, you heard Major Choi clear his throat and you spared a glance.
“I won’t be staying back, even if we have to go tomorrow,” his gaze was steel. “You, of all people, should know that.”
“I don’t want to risk bringing an injured squad member who could be a liability to the rest of us. You know that.”
The Major stifled a groan but before he could insist, you continued. “Do you remember the last time we took an injured member with us?”
His eyes flashed. “This is only a cut to my arm. It’s not something that will affect our mission.”
“Your aim could be affected. Whatever, there’s no point arguing with you,” you groaned, tired and ready to hit the bed and knock yourself out. “You’ll stay behind if we’re going tomorrow, end of the discussion.”
“We’ll see,” he said and you knew he meant that there was no way he wouldn’t join. You hoped Sergeant Kim, at least, wouldn’t give in to him tomorrow. You really could not lose another squad member just because they insisted on joining despite being injured, no matter how small the injury might be. 
So you did the only thing you could do- pray you wouldn’t have to go to the field tomorrow. But you knew that as a Major in the Special Forces, you always had to expect the worst. You did not have the luxury of hoping for a miracle. All you could do was pray and ignore the gnawing feeling in your gut which was answer enough.
And it was not like your prayers were answered because as you woke up at the crack of dawn, you noticed that it wasn’t as noisy as it used to be. Already knowing what was ahead, you wore your black and grey uniform and got ready, taking a few deep breaths in the room before straightening and stepping outside.
It was awfully empty too- none of the others from your squad or other squads exiting their rooms with puffy eyes or tired figures. When you heard the sound of a door opening, you turned to see your own squad member, Major Yu, looking as confused as you.
“Where are the others?” She asked.
“Exactly what I’m wondering,” you frowned. “Did they perhaps dispatch Squad 6 last night?”
“Not when I was awake,” she wiped the sleep from her eyes. “Let’s go. We might have to prepare for the mission today, it seems.”
With a sinking heart, you both decided to go to the Sergeant’s office first and just as you had thought, the mission had taken an unexpected turn last night. The secret operation the other squads had been on for the past few days had been discovered and Squad 6 had been dispatched to help them, but they needed to change shifts now. 
“It’s getting uglier- the enemy won’t let them go so easily,” Sergeant Kim said. “We’re carrying out our operation in 3 hours from now, so prepare for it. Make no mistakes- but first
 eat breakfast. I don’t want any of you looking pale because you didn’t eat.”
Major Yu smiled at that and the two of you saluted, about to exit when you turned. “Major Choi San insists on joining the operation.”
“He’s ready to go,” the Sergeant shook his head and you gaped at him. “He got up quite early today. As if he knew.”
Indeed, you spotted him in the cafeteria gulping down his breakfast as if he was short on time when he looked as prepared as one could be, dressed in his gear and loaded with weapons. You rolled your eyes, taking your tray of food to sit at the table next to him.
“All this effort. Did you change your bandages?”
The Major stopped in the middle of stuffing his face with rice. “Uh
 I thought I had to change it later?”
“You’re going to the field, you fool,” you couldn’t believe it. “What are you gonna do, ask me to change your bandage when we’re getting fired at from every direction?”
“Oh, but you’d do that for me, won’t you?” He teased and you pretended to throw up, Major Yu laughing at the two of you as she joined you. “Don’t worry. We can get the bandage changed now. I’ll undress for you-”
“And, there he is,” Major Yu sighed. “I really wonder what you’ve got against this poor girl, Major Choi. You should go to the medical ward- we have to prepare too.”
“Then the bandages can wait-”
“Ugh, okay, I’ll change them for you, we don’t want them infected,” you muttered, already feeling done for the day. He always had to be so stubborn. You simply did not have the time to entertain him. You had things to do- but first, you would change his bandages so he could get off your back and let you prepare in peace.
You had to admit- you were slightly amused to see him struggle unloading himself and taking off all the complicated belts and ropes before finally being able to take off his shirt so you could inspect his upper arm. You shook your head. “That’s what you get for being over-efficient. You could have waited until I woke up, but no. You had to be present before any of your squad members.”
“I knew you were not going to let me go, so I did what I had to.”
Even though working in the Special Forces had turned your heart to rock, it still fluttered whenever the man in front of you looked at you funny or said something like this. However, your face didn’t reveal any of it and you prayed he wasn’t observant enough to notice. 
“Well, I can’t stop you now,” you sighed in relief to see he was healing up well. “Be careful not to rip your stitches. I’ll be carrying a kit so if you feel like something is wrong, you need to tell me before it gets worse, okay?”
“Yes, boss.”
“And stop being so casual with me,” you glared at him before taping a new bandage to his arm and securing it well this time. 
“I literally called you ‘boss’,” Major Choi chuckled to himself. You poked your tongue in your cheek as you glared at him- or tried to, but his eyes curving when he laughed always put a smile on your own face. He noticed that and said, “You’re allowed to smile.”
“Whatever,” you chuckled. “Be careful out there, okay? We’re marching to Sector 1. It cannot get any more dangerous than that.”
“I know,” his tone grew grim and you knew you were both recalling the life-threatening situation you faced the last time you were there- about two years ago. “You’ll have my back, won’t you?”
“And you’ll have mine,” you said and he nodded. “Let’s all come back alive, okay?”
It was always like this between you two- especially after that incident a couple years ago. You two may tease each other to death and be out for each other like enemies but you trusted each other the most out of anyone else. Time and time again, you both proved what being a team meant. The Major got up and opened his mouth as if to say something but shook his head instead, and you resisted the urge to ask him to finish his thought, instead saying you’ll join him in the office after getting ready and went to prepare for the operation in your room.
It was a mechanical process now- gearing up in your uniform which was so black you would become one with the shadows, docking up on layers and ropes and packing your bag with all the necessities- a medical kit, some food rations, water, your radio and all the necessary equipment. Lastly, you hid weapons everywhere on yourself where you could, the only visible ones the guns around your belt and a sniper hanging by your shoulder.
You went to the office and found Major Kang and Major Choi Jongho already present, chatting with Major Yu. Your squad- and naturally, the rest started referring to Major Choi Jongho as ‘Major CJ’ which started as a joke first until it wasn’t anymore. You settled down near them and said hello, joining in the conversation- Major Yu detailing the events of the morning to them.
“So I genuinely thought someone had died, or worse, because it hasn’t been this silent around here since the time Major Han said she found Sergeant Kim attractive out loud,” Major Yu said and Major Kang burst into his trademark giggle that made everyone around him laugh. “So I found her looking as confused as me and she had that funny look on her face- you know the one she makes when she either has no idea what’s going on or when Major Choi says something weird-”
You rolled your eyes. Major Yu had to be the most laid back person in your squad and sometimes you wished she wasn’t so observant. “Whatever Major Choi does doesn’t affect me.”
“He literally makes you almost cry, but okay, we can pretend we don’t see that,” Major CJ said and the others grinned at you giving them the side-eye. 
“Where’s he now, anyway?” You wondered. “He was up and ready so early that I’m wondering if he went to bed like that-”
“And of course you wonder how I go to bed,” Major Choi said, entering the room and having heard the last part, making you wonder how he always managed to appear at the worst possible timing. “I had to do what I had to.”
“Still, I think it’s too much,” Major Kang shook his head. “We don’t take injured people to the field. You know the rules.”
“But this mission requires my presence- everyone’s presence. We’re all going in, whether you guys like it or not.”
“Alright,” you shrugged. “If you become a liability, we’ll leave you on the field and return. At least my nurse duties will decrease by half.”
“And I’d have the room to myself!” Major Kang cheered and Major CJ grinned. Major Choi, however, was sulking deeper with every passing minute and Major Yu poked his elbow right where you had stitched it, making him scowl and you wondered if she did it on purpose. 
“Ay, you know we wouldn’t do that to you,” she assured him. “But you have to admit, the thought of having one less person to write reports about is very tempting to me-”
“Please,” Major Choi groaned out loud and you silently laughed, knowing they were all trying to raise his spirits before the mission because he was the type to get very serious before going to the field.
A few moments later, Sergeant Kim and Major Han arrived in the office and all of you got up and saluted your leader before he settled down with you, now forming a little circle so he could look all of you in the eyes as he instructed you and shared the details. 
“I’m happy to see all of you present and healthy,” Sergeant Kim glared at Major Choi who pretended to be interested in the very boring ceiling all of a sudden. “We’re leaving in exactly 30 minutes from now and we will be on standby at the border of Sector 1 before we go in to extract Squad 7. Squad 5 will take care of Squad 6 so if you come across anyone from Squad 6, you will take them with you but alert 5 before you take another step, is that understood?”
“Yes, Sir!” Everyone said in unison.
“Just like always, we’re splitting into teams- I’m leading with Delta and Sierra as Team 1,” Sergeant Kim referred to Major Kang and Major Yu who straightened and nodded. “Fox and Victor as Team 3, Charlie and Echo as Team 2.”
You being Echo and Charlie being Major Choi- you met eyes for a moment before nodding. Sergeant Kim continued, “If the two of you require assistance, you will call either Fox or Victor,” he referred to Major Han and Major CJ. “And if they cannot join you, then Delta or Sierra will. You’re at the heart of the operation, though, so be careful, okay?”
“Okay,” Major Choi’s grip on his rifle tightened- something that went unobserved by most but then again, you were familiar with every movement of his body. 
“And lastly,” Sergeant Kim sighed- you all knew how much he hated delivering the final instruction which was- “If any of you is indisposed, you all know the rules. Our first priority is making sure the mission succeeds- and this time, it’s to extract Squad 7 who hold important data with them. Help will come later, till then
 you’ll be on your own. May the fates be with you.”
A collective sigh went through the room- it wasn’t because of the fear of being indisposed, but the fear someone else would be and you would have to leave them behind. That was the hardest part. Sergeant Kim got up. “You are allowed to request backup, remember that. I will be back in 30- check each other’s gears.”
The half an hour passed by in a flurry of light jokes, assuring taps, fixing some part of the gear and then waiting until Sergeant Kim arrived in gear and the seven of you proceeded to move to the basement where three cars waited for you with additional soldiers. You and Major Choi got inside your car and travelled in silence for the rest of the way, watching the expanse of barren fields until you reached the border of Sector 1. You leaned a bit to see the silhouette of buildings that were at the heart of Sector 1- a city that had once bloomed with life, now dead and infiltrated with terrorists. 
The city that had once been your home- and Major Choi’s, who was also staring into the distance with glazed eyes.
You proceeded to turn on the radio setup and connect it with the rest of the teams while Major Choi lazily cleaned his guns, sighing deeply in between. Once you were done testing your radios, you relaxed back and he finally spoke.
“Do you think we would have come across each other if Eden hadn’t attacked our home?”
You blinked at the sudden and personal question- another unusual thing from Major Choi today- you didn’t like being personal during a mission and he knew it. But the way you both had been stealing glances at what was once your home, you supposed curiosity got the better of him.
“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “Maybe? At some point of our life? Sector 1 isn’t too big.”
“I sometimes wonder if we were fated to meet each other,” he mused. “From being homeless to finding a place in the army- we have been together for a while, haven’t we?”
You pursed your lips- it still stung whenever you recalled the dark times. “Do you sometimes wonder what it would have been like if we didn’t make it in the army?”
“All the time,” he admitted, sounding grim. “But we
 We kept each other in check. We still do.”  You smiled at that and he joined, whispering, “We’ve kept each other alive.”
“Or maybe you have been stupid enough to not let me die- not without you,” you pointed out. “I still wonder what went through your head that one time you disobeyed all orders, risked your title and stayed back for me when I was indisposed.”
“But you did the same for me so many times,” he cocked his head. “You’ve risked your life for me more times than I can count.”
“We do that for everyone in our team,” you reminded him, though you knew he saw right through you. “We disobey orders all the time. I’m surprised they haven’t shuffled us around yet. Also, can you stop being sentimental right before a life-threatening mission?” You couldn’t help it and you both laughed. “There’s a time for everything, Major Choi San.”
He raised a brow at the way you called his name and you looked away- you could never meet his gaze long enough. Luckily, the radio sounded with your leader’s voice instructing you all to get out and walk on foot to the base in Sector 1 with your designated members and routes. You bumped fists with Major Choi before securing each other’s helmets, getting off the car and following the familiar barren road to the outskirts of the town, careful to avoid eyes but glad it was very hazy today.
The two of you walked in sync until you reached the abandoned hospital which was your station. You took the lead, he provided cover and you entered the building, inspecting it thoroughly as you made way to the 4th floor and took out the binoculars to monitor any sort of activity and help Sergeant Kim’s team get to the heart of the city. A few hours passed like that, mostly in silence, occasional comments or instructions passed through the radio, and you almost, almost relaxed until a loud blast shook you to the core, making you both instinctively duck down and cover each other, trying not to lose your footing as the ground beneath your feet rumbled.
A whistle rang in your ear and you took a few deep breaths- it wasn’t the first time you experienced a blast up close but it always made your heart sink in the worst possible way. You felt Major Choi squeezing your shoulder- you were alright. He was alright. You motioned okay at him and he peeked up from the window to inspect the damage and you followed after a moment. The six-story building that had been two streets away from you was now turning into rubble. 
“That is Squad 6’s station,” you said. “Squad 7 might have been in there. We should move.”
Major Choi nodded and spoke on his radio. “Alpha- you heard that?”
“Loud and clear,” Sergeant Kim’s voice sounded grim. “Do not move right now. You’re the closest- you might meet trouble on the way. Wait for my instruction.”
“Copy that,” he replied and you both decided to move up another floor and see if you could spot the enemy somewhere. You did- a couple of men in cloaks leaving from the West Exit and you alerted Team 3 who went to inspect as per your instructions.
“We have about 20 minutes until it gets dark, and then you can inspect the damage to Squad 6’s station while on your way to the enemy’s base,” Sergeant Kim ordered. “We have retrieved two of Squad 7’s members. Team 3?”
“We have retrieved three of Squad 6’s members,” Major CJ reported. “That leaves one member from each team- Squad 6 here says they were last seen near the enemy base.”
“Team 2 will take care of it then,” the Sergeant concluded. “Meet me at the North Exit, Victor and Fox. We’ll take care of the enemy there.”
“Copy that,” the rest of you reported and you prayed silently that everyone would make it back alive. Meanwhile, Major Choi offered you a sandwich from his bag and you ate it while you kept watch, thankful that your station still hadn’t been exposed to the enemy.
As soon as the sun set, you put on your night vision goggles and started following Major Choi out, hands gripping the rifle. You both trod like cats- silent and alert. You reached the rubble of what was once Squad 6’s base in a few minutes and searched for any signs of life but found none. 
“They must be around the enemy base somewhere then,” you said. “Let’s follow their last location.”
Your partner agreed and you both walked in silence yet again, hiding behind walls and rubble until you could spot the enemy base in your vision, noticing a few men walking around it, probably on guard duty. 
“What if they’re held hostage?” You asked.
“Our mission is to extract them wherever they are,” Major Choi reminded. “We can request backup.”
“Let’s inspect the area first and then create a distraction before we move inside,” you suggested and he agreed.
All your senses felt heightened as you parted ways- mostly because you felt a bit defenceless that he wasn’t providing cover like he usually did. All you could think about was remaining alert and not missing anything, and you counted seconds until you spotted the Major again and joined him, containing in your sigh of relief because the mission wasn’t over yet.
“Request backup?” You asked.
“I’ll ask them to meet us right here after we’re done extracting the agents,” he said and you nodded, watching him speak into his radio while you tightened your gloves, buzzing with eagerness to get this mission done and over with. The two of you went through interconnected buildings and doorways until you stood outside a door in the basement of one of the buildings that connected inside the enemy base- some path they probably hadn’t learned about, if you were lucky, since they had quite recently changed bases. You were about to break the door when the Major grabbed your wrist-
Quite gently, you noticed.
“If things go south, you know what to do, right?”
You scoffed. “Who are we kidding, Major? We were never ones to obey orders- at least not from each other.”
Major Choi groaned loudly, almost in amusement. “If things go south, you will call for an immediate backup request, not wait for me and make your way out, is that clear?”
You did not like being talked to in that tone so you snatched your wrist and poked his chest with your gloved finger. “The last time I told you this
 don’t even get me started.”
You both stared at each other, none of you giving in, his eyes locked on yours- the only thing you could see with the masks and the helmets. Your finger was still poking into his chest and he finally sighed, taking your hand in his and drawing it away. You swallowed the lump in your throat and shook your head. “If things look bleak, let’s not make them worse, okay?”
“Okay,” his voice was laced with amusement and you glared at him.
“I won’t be surprised if we have to change partners soon.”
“I won’t let them,” Major Choi promised. “You’re the only one I trust.”
“What did I tell you about not being sentimental during missions?” You broke the door, grimacing at the loud sounds that rang through the basement. “Let’s move, Charlie.”
“Got you, Echo,” he patted your back and you both stepped into the darkness, wearing your goggles again.
Every sound from that point on caught your attention. You could hear the Major’s breathing so you trained your ears to ignore it and focus on the other sounds. You walked along the path that only got narrower with each step and waited a few moments at the door which was the entrance inside the enemy base, letting the Major do his thing and check for any signs of life with his equipment.
“Empty room,” he whispered. “Go.”
You nodded and began unlocking the door with a set of pins, humming when it clicked in place and you opened the door- or tried to, since it was blocked. Major Choi helped you push it until the gap was big enough for you two to pass through and you carefully stepped inside.
“You remember the layout?” You asked and he nodded. “This must be the only storage room in the basement. Where do you reckon they would keep their hostages?”
“In the basement
 in the cells. If not, they’ve defected.”
“Unless-”
“Unless that’s their strategy,” he completed and you nodded, glad your partner was one to follow his instinct and heart instead of the book, which if you were honest simply did not have a few principles right. “Let’s inspect the cells first.”
“You ready?”
Major Choi mirrored your motions- adjusting his guns and fixing the daggers in his sleeves. “Let’s get the party started.”
After that, it was a flash of blood and screams as you both exited the storage room, exterminating any enemy in sight until you reached the cells and found one of your agents inside, a bloody mess himself. You broke his chains and asked his name and when he said his codename ‘Bravo’, you were glad he was in his senses.
“Where’s Agent Oscar?” You asked and he shook his head.
“They might have taken him for questioning- I heard the guards talk.”
You clenched your jaw- this was going to get messier then, especially with the Major already firing at the incoming stream of enemy guards. “You can walk?”
“Yes,” he said and you accompanied him to the storage room, the Major providing cover. You instructed Agent Bravo to follow the path to the exit where backup would arrive in a few minutes, handed him a loaded gun and secured the door after him. You joined the Major who had just finished with a fresh wave of guards.
“They’re onto us. Let’s make it quick. I’ll shell them.”
You nodded and you took the lead this time, taking the stairs and firing at anyone who was unfortunate enough to get in your way and you made your way up another flight after inspecting the rooms on the ground level. Thankfully, you and Major Choi only had minor scratches and grazes right now- nothing that kept you from moving forward.
You took a sharp turn but got pulled back as a bullet passed, missing you by a fraction. You spared a glance at Major Choi who gave you a warning look and you heard what he meant loud and clear- ‘be careful’. Before you could continue, he took the lead and you provided cover, letting him guide you both to the end of the hallway where he turned-
And found himself faced with 5 guns pointed at his head. You were outnumbered.
You paused as well, a couple of guards aiming their own gun at you from the other end. You clicked your tongue twice and your partner understood, raising his hands in surrender and you followed suit- but what the enemy did not know was that you had learned a few magic tricks when you were little. You never thought you’d use them in the military, but here you were, a grenade rolling down the hallway out of nowhere and you clicked your fingers.
Three.
The guards shouted and you rolled another grenade with a tap of your feet, the others wondering where the hell it appeared from when your own hands had been raised as long as the Major’s. 
Two.
Major Choi watched one of the guards point his guns at Agent Oscar who said a silent prayer as he looked up at the ceiling. 
One.
You smirked to yourself, clicking your tongue again. The guards in front of you took cover while the ones in the room shouted at each other, trying to come up with an escape plan now that the grenade was right at their feet but failing.
Zero.
You and Major Choi switched positions in a flash and while he covered you with his body, you shot at the 5 men in a series while the grenade behind you burst. Unfortunately, one of them managed to shoot at you and the bullet landed in your calf though your reaction only lasted a few seconds. You felt the Major’s body shake against yours as rubble fell on the two of you. You ignored the pain burning though your entire body and glanced up, sighing in relief when you saw that Oscar was fine.
“We’re exiting from the window,” Major Choi got up and started planting the hook to the wall and dropped the rope down the building, groaning when he spotted movement outside the building too. He aimed at them with his rifle and got rid of them while you took care of any approaching guards, finding a few moments of peace.
“We’re sliding down first- he can’t walk properly,” Major Choi had noticed Oscar’s mutilated leg. “You’ll follow after I give the signal, okay?”
“Okay,” you breathed heavily.
“You good?” He scanned you, noticing the blood dripping down. You nodded but he made quick work of pulling a piece of cloth from his bag and tying it around your leg, securing the bullet inside, the pain dimming since it wouldn’t jab with every movement you made now. Oscar stood watch in the meanwhile, inquiring about the rest of his squad and you told him they were extracted, which made his eyes fill with life again.
“Let’s move,” Major Choi called Oscar and you went back to covering for them while they escaped through the window. You sighed in relief when your radio sounded to alert you that they had made it to the ground safely but the relief didn’t last long as a bunch of guards came in your vision and you hid.
“Come down, now,” Major Choi called and you took a deep breath, knowing you would have to jump a good distance since you didn’t have enough time to simply slide down the rope all the way down. As if Major Choi had read your thoughts, he was there to cushion your jump and the three of you disappeared inside the alleyway, trying to navigate back to the spot where backup would be waiting. 
However, luck was not on your side tonight. One moment you were jogging to the building in front of you and the next, the three of you were thrown into the air, the bright fire blinding you momentarily despite your protective goggles. For a few seconds, all you did was stare at the sky, wondering if you had died or if the sky was simply so cloudy that not a single star could be seen. It wasn’t until you heard a familiar groan that you came back to your senses and crawled towards your partner.
“San- Are you okay?” You managed to ask- he seemed to have hit his head somewhere, blood trickling down his forehead.
“I’m good,” he exhaled. “Oscar?”
Oscar didn’t respond and you panicked, crawling desperately towards the limp figure and found his pulse growing fainter. You began dragging him with Major Choi to the nearest cover- a big chunk of cement and you stopped, out of breath. You took off your mask and checked your radio but it had broken. You muttered a series of curses, throwing your helmet away in anger while you planned your escape.
“Take Oscar with you to the basement- backup will be waiting,” you hoisted yourself up so you could lean against the rock. “I’ll join you.”
Major Choi narrowed his eyes, taking off his own mask. “You can’t walk, can you?”
“I don’t think I can right now, but I’ll be fine- I’ll be following close, I just need to catch my breath,” you coughed, mouth very dry. “Go, now. I can hide.”
“I’ll come back for you-”
“Don’t you dare,” you seethed. “It’s already been a bad day. Just take Oscar to the backup and wait for me there- do not send anyone else.”
“I won’t leave you in this state,” Major Choi announced- a plain and simple statement.
“Just go,” you begged. “Our mission won’t be complete until we deliver Oscar back. I’ll be fine- no one will come and check in here for a while. I’ll hide elsewhere.”
Major Choi looked conflicted, glancing back and forth between you and Oscar until you nudged his thigh with your boot. He crawled towards you, throwing off his helmet and your hand instinctively went to inspect his injury, sighing internally when you found it wasn’t as bad as you thought. 
What surprised you was him locking his forehead with yours as he said, “I promise I’ll be back.”
Before you could respond in any way, he had drawn back and was dragging Oscar, navigating through the rubble and meeting your eyes, pointing towards north. You understood and made a note to yourself to kill him if you made it out of here alive tonight. For now, you were going to hide in the rubble and watch them until they were out of sight. As soon as they were out of your vision, you relaxed and sat back down-
And heard the most horrible sound of gunshots in the direction Major Choi had gone- so horrible that your entire being shook. You immediately stood up and took out your binoculars to try and see if you could spot them but it was no use. 
You sat back down, looking up at the dark sky- where had it all gone wrong? It was like they were prepared, like they knew you were coming. Was there a rat in your base? Or was it obvious that the Special Forces never left their agents in the enemy’s hands? Were they expecting you because they knew you so well now?
You were glad it was so dark that the tears in your eyes didn’t blur your vision- there wasn’t anything to see anyway so you blindly started crawling towards north, staying as low as possible- you weren’t sure you could walk without limping now anyway. You went from hiding behind one chunk of rubble to another, checking your watch and knowing you didn’t have much time until someone would come to check if you made it out alive. 
After crawling endlessly, you checked your watch- it took you about forty minutes to simply reach the end of the destruction the blast had caused. You hid under a rock yet again, out of breath and with trembling hands you took out your bottle from the bag and drank a few sips, storing the rest for later in case you needed it. You could see your surroundings now thanks to the faint glow of streetlights in the distance and wondered if you should inspect your wound- Major Choi had done a good job of binding it. You decided to let it be and rest for a few minutes before moving forwards.
Forwards. For how long? You were already feeling groggy. Your eyes were twitching and you weren’t sure if you could remain awake if you weren’t moving.
So you decided to move. You prayed Major Choi would come back for you and disobey every order because only then you could know he was alive. For once, you wanted him to come back, because if he died-
You heard footsteps and you aimed your gun at the source, seeing the silhouette of someone walk, almost limp in your direction- the walk looked strangely familiar-
You lowered your gun when the outlines of his body became visible- it was Major Choi. He was alive-
“I searched for you everywhere,” Major Choi whispered harshly as he crouched down and a whimper escaped your mouth as he crushed you in a hug. “I thought I lost you, y/n.”
You shivered due to a number of reasons- he hadn’t called you by your name in a very, very long time. The last time he did was to wake you up when you both had been hostages together and even that had been years ago. The last time he hugged you was a memory you had almost forgotten too-
Not forgotten. Pushed in the deepest part of your memory so it wouldn’t come to you at unexpected times.
You were amazed by how awake you felt now that his arms were around you, his hand in your hair keeping your face tucked in the crook of his neck. You sighed deeply, your uneven breaths synchronising. You tugged at his shirt and perhaps, it was a wrong move. Perhaps he was suddenly aware of the position you were in because he pulled back-
You didn’t want him to pull back.
“I-” you cleared your throat. “I heard the gunshots- are you okay? Where’s Oscar?” You heard him suck in his breath when your hand touched his arm as you were drawing back and you touched the spot again, finding it wet and sticky-
Blood.
“What happened?”
“They must have spotted us- they fired. The first one hit Oscar in the head. I’m sorry-”
“But you’re okay?” You asked. “Only this?”
“Yeah, but we lost Oscar-” his voice shook and you put your hands on his.
“It’s okay,” you assured him. “Oscar might not have made it anyway- his pulse was very faint after the blast. You’re okay- god, I thought they got you, San, I really thought they did-”
You felt his body language shift after you called his name and you wondered just how much you both missed normal physical contact, normal human interactions since only the sound of your names on each other’s lips was making you react- perhaps even more than the casual displays of affection. You shook your head, willing yourself to focus. “What do we do?”
“Our retreat spot is compromised,” Major Choi said, “I think we should head to safety first before we come up with a plan or try to revive your radio. Mine got lost.”
“Okay,” you breathed. “Where to?”
“North, I think,” he sighed. “We mentioned north quite a few times today to the squad. They should get the hint and find us there.”
“They should,” you agreed and he got up. You followed but stumbled on your feet and he caught your arm right on time. 
“Can you walk?”
“Let me try,” you said, looking around before taking a step and biting your lips so harshly it almost drew blood- the pain in your leg was burning you at this point. “I think I’ll be fine
 after a few steps.”
“You don’t look fine
 Major.”
You glared at him, taking another step and this time unable to control the hiss of pain. He tsk-ed. “Get on my back- it’ll save us time.”
“I’m sorry but you’re not in the best shape either,” you pointed out. “And there’s no way I’m getting on your back-”
“Major, now is not the time for the little game we play of who makes it out in better shape,” he took a step forward and you instinctively took one back, making him groan. “Get on my back- don’t make me carry you like a princess.”
“Fine,” you gave up, “You better run then. There’s no way they wouldn’t spot us.”
With that, you hopped on his back and he hooked his arms under your legs. Silently, he carried you all the way towards the north, never stopping to catch his breath though you could see he was struggling- after all, he was tired too. When you could see the North Exit gate, you motioned for him to go to find someplace to hide- there would surely be enemy prowling here after Team 1’s successful mission. So the Major finally slowed down and turned in an alley and you helped yourself down.
“I don’t think we should risk going inside one of these,” he said, glancing at the abandoned structures of what had to be houses or shops once. “We should wait until sunrise before we try something. Let’s hide somewhere- come on.”
He took your hand and you both trod silently, sticking to the walls until you found a spot where it looked like whoever cared had collected rubble there to keep the rest of the city clean. A shed roof lay on the floor, twisted, and you pointed towards it. San helped you walk towards it and you finally collapsed on the ground under it, stifling a groan. Now that you allowed yourself to relax, the weariness was catching up and making your head spin.
Major Choi didn’t miss it- he immediately dug into his bag and handed you his bottle and two of the sandwiches he still had left. You asked him to conserve the water, glad you had your own bottle and took the sandwich, though the overwhelmingness of everything was making you nauseous.
“Can I inspect your wound?” Major Choi asked. You shook your head. 
“I don’t think I can be quiet if you try to extract the bullet- I think
 I think I’ve lost a lot of blood,” you gulped, patting your trousers and finding them wet. “I shouldn’t sleep tonight.”
“I’ll make sure you don’t,” he took a deep breath and you could see the worry on his face even in the very faint light. “Someone should find us in the morning.”
“You’re okay, aren’t you? Anything odd you’re feeling?”
“Just the dull pain now,” he admitted. 
“You shouldn’t have come back, Major,” you chuckled, finishing the sandwich and urging him to eat his. He shook his head, offering it to you and you grabbed it only to stuff it in his mouth, making him chuckle. “You should have stayed behind. I would have been fine- someone would have come in the morning.”
“You know me,” He finished the sandwich in two bites, drinking a sip of water. “I don’t like making it back alone.”
You clicked your tongue in disappointment. “It’s a wonder they haven’t fired you yet. It really is.”
“I could say the same for you,” he raised a brow, shifting so he could sit beside you, back resting against the shed roof. “You’re not any different from me.”
You didn’t answer, recalling the old times. For a few moments, you were both silent and then the Major tapped your thigh and you hummed to tell him you were still awake.
“Don’t fall asleep- keep talking,” he ordered and you sighed. 
“You’re better at talking. I’m better at listening.”
“Just keep talking, for heaven’s sake,” he shifted to be closer to you so your shoulders were touching now. “Don’t say anything out loud- only whisper so you don’t get thirsty.”
“Okay,” you coughed a little, clenching your eyes shut when you felt a fresh wave of pain consume you. You felt the Major’s bare hands snake in yours and you smiled faintly.
“You shouldn’t have joined the mission today. Things could have been very different.”
“We’ll talk about that when we get back,” he dismissed. “Tell me what you want to do when you get back.”
“Sleep,” you laughed a little and he grinned. “What’s the time?”
“Almost midnight.”
“Damn it,” you sighed deeply. “I don’t think I’ll make it-”
“No,” he squeezed your hand. “I’m with you. I’m not letting anything happen to you. I won’t lose you- not like this.”
“Whatever,” you shrugged though you had to admit you were pleased to hear it. “Wait- isn’t that what I said when we were held hostages in Eden?”
“You remember?” He asked. You two hadn’t talked about the events of those three very, very long nights you had spent as hostages in Eden’s territory. “I thought you deleted that memory or something- you never addressed it again.”
“It’s not a good memory,” you said.
“True
 but some of my favourite memories are from those days,” he began. “I made it out alive solely because you refused to let me die.”
“Is that why you’re doing the same right now?” You asked.
“Maybe,” he said and you looked at your interlocked hands. “Maybe I like us as a team and don’t want to lose you. Maybe I like you even as a friend- after all, we’ve been together for so long, haven’t we?”
“Back when we were still a boy and a girl,” you recalled. “What happened to us
 San?”
There it was. The unintentional squeeze of his hand. You glanced at him and he met your eyes.
“Do you like it when I call you by your name?”
“Don’t you, y/n?”
Something like butterflies in your stomach as his deep voice sounded made you suck in a breath. “Well then
 should I call you San? At least for tonight? Just like the old times?”
“Just like the old times,” he smiled, looking ahead. “How did we get here?”
“We refused to let each other go because we were rivals back then, of sorts
 I’d say we still are- but we’re better as a team than rivals, aren’t we?” You said and San agreed. “It would just be even better if you stopped being an ass to me in routine.”
“It’s because I love to see you all riled up,” he said, body shaking with laughter. “It’s so easy to rile you up.”
You yawned big and wide and San waited until you were done. “You with me?”
“I am,” you told him. “Tell me then- do you do it on purpose? Only let me treat your wounds? I’m not your personal nurse, you know.”
“You know my reason,” San muttered. “Otherwise you would have downright refused. You know, don’t you?”
“Because you don’t like to show your scars to anyone
 And because I’ve seen every scar on your body since the beginning, haven’t I?”
“You’re the only one who looks without judgement,” he admitted. “You know I wasn’t always the best.”
“Look at you now!” you said dramatically. “The best of the best.”
“We are, as a team,” San pointed out. “You remember how bad we are when partnered with other members.”
“Ah, right,” you giggled and San looked at you in horror. “We don’t really coordinate with others, do we?”
“What is that sound you just produced,” San scoffed. “I wonder what other sounds you make, Major.”
“You want to find out?”
San looked away- how come you both had switched roles now? “Looks like the blood loss is really getting to your head now.”
“It is,” you admitted, sinking down a bit and resting your head on your partner’s shoulder, feeling him freeze for just a moment before he relaxed. “I don’t think I should talk anymore.”
“I’ll keep you awake with pain if I have to,” he promised and you grimaced- you had done the same to him once too. No doubt he would return the favour. “If I see you getting groggy, I’m going to press on the wound, you hear me?”
You almost cried- the pain was already too much, but you knew he was right. “Why are you being like this?”
“I would do this for anyone- I cannot let you die on my watch,” he announced. “Which reminds me- give me your radio.”
“Oh, right. Are you sure I’m not the only one suffering from blood loss?” You said which he ignored, crossing his legs as he started inspecting the radio remains. You lit your watch to provide him with better light and watched him twist wires and cut them with his teeth, attempting to revive it-
For a very small moment, the sound of static came through and you both almost rejoiced until it died down. You asked San to do whatever he just did again and he did but it wasn’t any use now. The radio was dead. 
You both slumped back to your original positions and this time you were the one who found San’s hand and squeezed it in assurance. “It’s okay. You’ll be fine.”
“We’ll be fine,” he sighed. “Stop considering yourself dead already. If you survived that moment when we were surrounded by seven guards earlier, you can survive the night too. Good work there, by the way.”
You grinned. “How did you know what I was planning? I was half worried you’d misunderstand the signal and get us all killed.”
“Oh please, when have I ever made that mistake?”
“Are we forgetting that one time when I was waving at you from a distance and you thought I was saying hi-” you paused when San chuckled.
“You were saying ‘get the hell away’, I know,” he shook his head. “I was just curious why.”
“You keep telling yourself that. The fact is, you made a mistake which got us both grounded for two weeks.”
“Yet here we are,” he scoffed. “Still a team. The best of the best.”
“Are we?” You thought out loud. “When we’re always at death’s door?”
“Well, let’s see,” San took a deep breath. “9 out of 10 missions are successful- that’s a pretty high rating for someone in Special Forces, don’t you think? And even if we’re compromised, we’ve never lost data. Even now, I retrieved the chip from Oscar,” he patted his pocket and you looked proud. “We just have to make it back alive now, so hang in there, alright?”
You were silent for a few moments, focusing on San absently caressing your hand and glancing at you a few times to make sure you were awake. You checked the time- there were still about 3 hours until sunrise.
San grunted in pain and you opened your eyes, realising you had almost dozed off. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he said but you noticed his eyes twitching. 
“How bad did you hit your head back then, Major Choi San?”
He rolled his eyes but you could tell it had to be something related to his head injury because his other injuries were minor. “I’m fine.”
“Can I see it? Properly?”
“I said I’m fine.”
And that’s how you knew he wasn’t. You shifted, ignoring the pain exploding through your leg as you put your injured leg over the Major’s to get half on top of him and access the other side of his head- the one you had noticed he kept away from your vision. San grabbed your wrists in an attempt to stop you but you glared at him, tski-ing in warning and he gave up, letting you inspect it.
It looked like a normal gash and it had stopped bleeding, so maybe it was a concussion. You sighed. “Are you feeling nauseous? Dizzy?”
“A little,” he admitted.
You pouted, going back to sitting next to him. “Looks like I’ll be the one keeping you awake for the night.”
He laughed to himself and you joined. “You’re making it sound like it's an awful task.”
“It is,” you rubbed your face. “Let’s not fall asleep, Choi San. Your turn to tell me what you would like to do when you go back.”
“Sleep,” he laughed and you poked his thigh. “Okay, I’d like to get a few days off. Should I get you some days off too?”
“What will we even do in our free time?” 
“We could go somewhere,” he looked at you. “Remember Sector 6?”
You didn’t expect him to bring up Sector 6. It was the one time you both almost crossed boundaries with each other- your squad had gotten a few days off and all of you decided to spend those days like ‘normal people’ in the ‘normal’ sector- the one known for its lively atmosphere. The town that never sleeps, it was called. Somehow, you and San strayed away from the rest of the team and had a night you would try to forget for the next few years, the one you were still trying to forget-
It wasn’t even anything much. You two had drank and danced in a club. You two had joked about getting hooked up except you two couldn’t stay away from each other even when you tried. Whenever you looked at someone, San would make some comment about what type of a person they were. You were ashamed to admit you did the same to him too- so you two only danced with each other- 
Only looked at each other. 
Something had changed after that. You couldn’t shake off the ghost of his hands on your waist, on your shoulders, a comfortable weight. You called each other by your names and it almost felt like you two were only civilians, friends who were flirting with each other. At one point, he had hugged you and told you that you were the best thing that happened to him, though you were pretty sure he forgot all about that the next day, since he claimed he remembered nothing- he wasn’t good with his drinks, so you believed him.
Until he brought it up again, now.
“Sector 6?” You scoffed. “Why would you want to go there again?”
“Do I really need a reason to relive that again?”
So cryptic. You tried to make sense of his words but you couldn’t.
“Well, if we live through tonight, might think about it then,” you said, trying not to recall the things you had said to San that night. Things you wished he really had forgotten. 
“Do you think we’ll live to see the sunrise?”
You glanced at San. He looked weary- perhaps, he really did need a break. You rarely ever saw him look weary. You did not like him with such low spirits. You only squeezed his hand and let the silence fall- you were both too tired to continue talking anyway, so you both resorted to tapping out morse code. It was nostalgic to talk that way, though all you were tapping was curses and ‘awake?’, it made you reminisce about your time together as agents. You supposed you would let the memories flash by- after all, you might really not live to see the sunrise. 
The two hours following had to be the longest of your life. Your fingers were tired from tapping to each other, but at least that meant you were alive. You would occasionally drink a sip of water or shake each other. Sometimes you would recall a funny memory and share a brief laugh. But by the end of it, you were both so groggy that you had to press into San’s now ripped stitches to make him wake up, earning a groan that was too loud for your liking. You also made him press on your wound and you cried this time. The pain was nowhere near dull.
You didn’t notice the sky getting lighter until the rays of sun hit your face and you looked at San who was almost dozing off. You shook him.
“Hey. We lived to see the sunrise.”
San opened his eyes, blinking a few times and you watched the sun cast shadows on the sharp angles of his face. His brown eyes looked warm as he smiled.
“We really did live to see the sunrise
”
You smiled, squeezing his hand. All you two had to do now was wait for a signal- there was this new kernel of hope in your heart that you would make it out alive now- even if backup never comes, you two would make it out alive somehow-
“I wish to see the rest of my sunrises with you too.”
You stopped in the middle of shuffling through your bag, not having the strength to meet his eyes- you recognised this tone of his voice so well you knew how he would be looking at you anyway. However, you couldn’t help the smile creeping up on your face and you took out your medical kit, finally having enough light and the newfound energy to do something about San’s wounds at least. 
“That’s
 not something you should be saying to me. You do not wish to see the rest of your sunrises with your partner in Special Forces, Major.”
“And if I do?”
You finally looked at him, narrowing your eyes. “I think I should have done something about your wounds earlier. You’re in a worse state than I am, and I am the one who got hit by a goddamn bullet.”
San chuckled, unbuttoning his shirt and letting you take care of his stitches- he knew you were doing it not because it was necessary but because you would have something to focus on. Perhaps you were dizzy for a different reason now, in which case

“You think I don’t mean it?”
“Major Choi San,” you warned-
“Look at me, y/n,” he called and you sighed deeply, finishing cleaning his wound and then meeting his eyes, your heart sinking at the way he was gazing at you. “You know I don’t lie. You know that. Everything that I say
 I mean it. I really, really do wish we’ll be together for a long time.”
“You like working as a team that much?” You tried joking but he shook his head, his hand finding yours and snaking up to caress your wrist. You gulped, finally looking at him and the two of you just stared at each other for a few moments.
“Whatever’s going on in your head
 don’t say it. Not now.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t think I’ll be able to make logical decisions right now,” you muttered, taking your hand away from him with immense willpower. 
If you expected San’s spirits to lower, he was smirking too hard for that right now. “So that means there is something, isn’t it? How long are we going to pretend we don’t like each other like that?”
“San-”
You heard the familiar sound of a high pitched frequency and turned towards the source, San getting up immediately and taking a look around, spotting a black flag raised in the air- backup.
“Finally,” you groaned in relief. “Help me up.”
“Finish your thoughts first,” San hovered over you and you rolled your eyes, knowing there was no way out of this.
“God, you’re insufferable,” you laughed, raising your hand and he helped you up, purposely pulling you to him so you bumped into his chest and you smacked it. “I think you’re the most annoying person in my life, but I like you anyway.”
“Perhaps you’re right- must be the blood loss speaking,” he couldn’t believe his ears. Normally, you would have pointed your gun at him and threatened to blow his brains out if he ever said something like that. “Let’s talk about it when we get back. For now
 thank you for being alive, y/n.”
“Thank you for coming back for me too, San,” you felt way too emotional all of a sudden. “I really thought something happened to you when I heard the gunshots- I just
 thank you.”
The Major brought a hand to your face and caressed it as if it was something he did every other day. He planted a lingering kiss to your forehead and you bit the inside of your cheek to contain the sigh that threatened to leave your mouth. He simply smiled when he met your eyes as he drew back and motioned for you to follow him.
—---------------------
Your team leader allowed you to rest first before he came to check on you both in the evening, looking scarier than ever, especially having caught you both with ‘stupid snacks’ like he used to refer to them, giggling like kids with the rest of your team.
“Major Choi and Major Seo,” he called and your grins fell. Major Yu attempted to hide the lollies but was interrupted by Major Kang, who had tried doing the same which just made them roll dramatically on the floor until they hit the Sergeant’s boot. His frown got deeper especially when Major CJ chuckled out loud and Major Han slapped his arm to shut him up.
“The two of you-” he began, taking a deep breath. “How the hell did you make it back alive this time? I think I'd better like you dead now.”
Major Kang snorted. San cleared his throat. “Major Seo kept me alive!”
“Major Choi kept me alive!” You responded and he groaned.
“I don’t care who kept whom alive- you need to present a full report to me right now. There’s something I need to check. The rest of you- out.”
The team left with a series of grunts and more than one ‘boomer’ thrown at the Sergeant which earned them a threatening (but playful) raise of fist in the air. You began narrating the events, San filling in the gaps occasionally. The Sergeant nodded along until you told him about being cornered by the guards when you found Oscar.
“Did you perhaps recognise any of those guards?”
“They were all wearing masks,” San looked at you and you nodded. “I noticed one of them had a tattoo on his wrist.”
“What kind of a tattoo? Do you think you can recognise it if I show you some pictures?” Sergeant Kim asked and Major Choi said he would try. You continued to narrate the rest of the story and San mentioned the chip he had handed in earlier when they arrived. 
“It’s a shame we lost Oscar, but good job staying alive and completing the mission- both of you,” Sergeant Kim acknowledged and you both relaxed in relief. “There is a reason I send you both in the heart of the operation most of the time- it’s because I trust you both. It’s not that I do not trust the others, but the three of us have worked together for the longest- and we were once a team, after all- back when I was still Major Kim,” he smiled and your heart warmed- the Sergeant wasn’t much older than you both and the three of you had been a trio back in your early days- though you both always called him your captain anyway. It’s like he was meant to lead. 
“I trust you both to complete the mission no matter what, and I trust you both to make it out alive each time- even if it takes days,” he continued. “For a while, I’ve been suspecting there’s a rat around us. I don’t know which squad or who, but the past few days have been a sign enough that we’ve been betrayed- especially since they captured so many of our agents. I want you both to stay alert and wary of everyone- even the ones in your squad,” he sounded disappointed. “I know you trust your squad but you both almost died today, and I cannot help but be worried.”
You watched the Sergeant sigh deeply. “Is there anyone you suspect?”
“Not at the moment, at least not from our squad,” he admitted. “Or maybe it’s because I’m making a mistake of trusting them. Perhaps I’m making a mistake in letting you both know too. Maybe the rat is one of you.”
“Yeah, it could totally be me,” you began, scoffing. “I asked to be shot so I could pretend to die and do what?”
“Or it could be me,” Major Choi chuckled. “I went back to finish Major Seo but ended up using my last shreds of humanity to save her instead. Should have killed her when I had the chance-”
“I’m only saying!” Sergeant Kim laughed this time but you weren’t having it. 
“You know what- maybe he’s the rat,” you looked at the Sergeant and San agreed. “He usually makes it out unscathed. Wonder what that means.”
“You both know there’s a reason why I rank higher than you both,” he scoffed. “With the amount of times you get hurt, I should lower your ranks-”
“Sergeant, we’re just joking. I trust you both. I really do. And I trust my squad too, but I’ll keep my guard up anyway.”
He nodded. “Take some rest, you both. Once you’re back, I have another task for the two of you- until then, I’ll take care of it.”
“What’s it about?” San asked but the Sergeant waved his hand and left. You pursed your lips.
“I knew it wasn’t simply bad luck- there must be someone who reports our activity to Eden.”
“And we can’t even narrow it down since there were four Squads involved in this mission,” San shook his head. “Do you think Sergeant Kim will be sending us on a false mission again?”
“I hope not,” you sighed, glancing at your bandaged leg, thankful the bullet hadn’t done much damage. “I need
 a break.”
San laughed at that. “When are you scheduled to get some days off?”
“In two months, I think,” you tried to recall the exact date. 
“That’s too far away. If we can’t have a break right now
 we could at least get some drinks together?”
“You can’t even hold your liquor, Major,” you muttered and he glared at you. You shrugged, “I’m not taking care of you if you get drunk again. Last time was enough.”
“What did I do last time?”
“See? You don’t even remember,” you muttered, looking away. Last time, and the time before, and every time San got drunk
 he was a mess- especially with you, and you weren’t sure if he realised it yet. “We could just go to town to get dinner. No drinks.”
“Come on, we haven’t let loose in a while-”
“Did someone say drinks?” Major CJ entered and you muttered ‘oh no’.
Because the next night, you heard a knock on your room around 10pm and you opened the door to see Major Han grinning widely.
“How’s your leg healing up?”
“Pretty well, actually,” you told her. “What’s got you so giddy?”
“We’re having drinks in Major CJ’s room,” she winked. “Even Sergeant Kim is there.”
“Oh, you better go then,” you winked back. “I think I’ll stay.”
“Oh no, you won’t,” she grabbed your hand and pulled you, making you squeal. “Sergeant Kim ordered me to bring you there.”
“No way he did,” you muttered. “Let me change?”
“Oh, you look fine,” she said, scanning your black tank top and shorts. “Absolutely ravishing.”
“Let me get a jacket, at least,” you laughed and she finally let go of you with a grin. You grabbed your uniform jacket and followed Major Han to the men’s dorm which was opposite yours, going in the direction of where all the noise was coming from-
It was a mess. Not just your squad- even some from Squad 6 were present. As soon as the Sergeant spotted you, he smirked. 
“Oh no. I’m going back-”
“No, you’re not,” Sergeant Kim got up and you attempted to leave but he grabbed your wrist and everyone else laughed.
“I’m here because I’m keeping an eye out for odd behaviour,” he whispered and you scoffed.
“You’re already almost drunk. I don’t think you can ‘keep an eye out’ for much longer
” you faltered when he glared at you- “... Sergeant.”
“I need you here too- you’re good at detecting odd behaviour,” he dragged you back towards the table and you sat between him and Major Kang. “Just like old times.”
“Just like old times,” you raised the drink he poured you, clicking with the rest on the table, Major San across from you, a flush already creeping up on his neck. “Just how long have you all been drinking?”
“It was going to be just us, but Sergeant Kim decided to join,” Major Kang began. “And then he called Major Yu- they’re boomer drinking buddies so they cannot even drink without each other.”
“I’m not a boomer
” Major Yu drawled. “I am the life of the party.”
You and Major Kang ignored her and you got into a discussion about who was the best drinker in the room- it was definitely Major CJ who Major Kang said had been drinking for an hour now but still looked fresh. You two began ranking the people in the room, occasionally passing a comment, purposely ignoring San’s watchful eyes on you.
“I think the worst has to be San,” you tsk-ed. “Look at him.”
Major Kang raised a brow at the way you addressed him- he had never heard you two call each other by your first names. In fact, all of you always referred to the other formally. 
“I think you must be pretty down on the ranking too if you’re calling him ‘San’,” Major Kang commented and you stared at him in confusion until it sank in. However, you could redeem yourself.
“I don’t think a Major looks like that,” you pointed at the very flushed, almost drowsy and very giggly Choi San and Major Kang almost choked on his drink as he laughed. San seemed to have noticed that and wasn’t having any of it now- he got up and went around the table to push Sergeant Kim away from you so he could sit with you.
“I bet he didn’t ask you to keep an eye out for something odd,” you scoffed. “You can’t even look after yourself right now.”
“I am a fully conscious individual right now,” he began and you shared a grin with Major Kang who was watching you two. “I may look red but I’m crystal clear inside.”
“Yeah? How many fingers do you see?” Major Kang raised three fingers.
“I’m not blind. Two.”
You hadn’t laughed this hard in such a long time that you had to put your head down, feeling dizzy for a moment. Major Kang was laughing just as hard, clapping along and you looked up to see San smiling at you.
“I know it’s three. I just wanted to make you laugh.”
“Ohh,” Major Kang looked between you two. “You can’t tell me something hasn’t changed between you two now, Major Seo.”
“He’s drunk,” you shook your head. “Everything that comes out of his mouth from this point on is nonsense.”
Thus started an argument between the three of you and halfway through it, you shut your eyes and tuned out the men on either side of you now in a heated discussion about something else entirely. You opened your eyes, wanting to rest your folded arms on the table but San was taking all the space. San, and his stupid muscular arms looking spectacular in his stupid white tank top-
Yes. You were definitely tipsy now. 
You definitely were, because for quite a while you simply watched the man crowding your personal space talk. You smiled at his little habits of blinking too many times when he felt dizzy or cracking his neck to shrug off the sleep. You itched to inquire about his healing progress- for all the times you complained about being his personal nurse, you sure were worried now. You licked your suddenly dry lips when he spared you a glance.
“You okay?”
“Move, you’re taking too much space,” you muttered, pushing his arm away with your elbow and he grinned. The Sergeant got San’s attention and you and Major Kang watched the others for the rest of the night-
Until most of the agents left and San was such a drunken mess that you couldn’t take it anymore.
“Will someone please take him to his room? Or just drop him here, I don’t even care,” you mumbled. “Just get him off of me, please.”
Major CJ was cackling. “I’m not touching him. He starts demanding cuddles.”
“Neither am I,” Major Kang was half asleep but not because he was drunk. 
“You both literally share a room, Major,” you glared at him.
“Jongho, do you mind if I crash over tonight?” Major Kang asked.
“Not at all,” he glanced at the Sergeant. “We can throw him on the couch, you can take his bed.”
“Wow,” you tsk-ed at all of them. “Traitors, all of you. Major Han?”
“I can’t even carry myself right now,” she said, almost tripping on her feet. “Why did Major Yu leave me all alone?”
“Probably to avoid this mess,” you muttered. “Major Choi San, wake the hell up, right now.”
“I wasn’t asleep,” he mumbled.
“Then get the hell away from me?” You glared at him in disbelief- he was using your arm on the table as a pillow and it was starting to hurt. “Go to your room and sleep.”
“Help me up then,” he said, not even opening his eyes. You looked up and gathered the last of your willpower to push his head away and pull his arm.
“Take his keys,” Major Kang tossed them in the air and you caught them, flipping a finger at him. He only laughed in dismissal. You asked San to at least cooperate with you a little and that your leg would hurt if you had to carry him, which was when he finally opened his eyes and straightened.
“You shouldn’t suggest drinks ever again,” you told him, hooking your arm in his and helping him walk straight. “Look at you. Such a mess.”
“You don’t look so bad either,” he grinned and you shook your head. He pointed at the room at the end of the hall and you looked around while you walked. 
“Is this your first time coming here?”
“No, but I haven’t ever visited your room since we got posted here,” you told him, unlocking his room and pushing the door open- it was pretty much the same as the other rooms but with beds on either corner of the room since he shared it with Major Kang. 
“There you go,” you tried unhooking your arm but he tucked it in. “I should go now, I’m tired. Let me go.”
“I don’t want to
” he pouted and you dug your nails in his arm until he winced and let your arm go. You laughed in victory, taking a step away.
“You’re supposed to heal me, not hurt me!” He rubbed at the marks your nails left but then stopped, admiring them. “You know what? I think I’ll keep them as a badge of honour anyway.”
“Wow, okay. Want me to give you some more? This time bloody marks, perhaps?”
The way San looked at you in that moment, his eyes slowly filling with mischief and lips curling into a smirk, you finally realised what you had said. This time, you were the one flushing and you turned to leave, muttering a bye but he caught your wrist.
“Maybe I’d like that.”
“You’re very, very drunk right now,” you laughed. “You won’t remember this tomorrow anyway.”
“You think the memories don’t come back to me?” He asked, his tone changing and you stopped struggling. “You think I forgot this exact moment? In Sector 6, when
” he pulled you towards him, making you face him. “When we danced all night long
 just like this,” he interlocked his fingers with yours, his other hand finding its way inside your jacket to rest on your hip. “Do you remember?”
You were afraid to ask just how much he remembered. You weren’t sure you could manage to form a question right now anyway, especially with the way he was looking at you. You could feel your walls coming down-
All it took was him bringing your interlocked hands closer to kiss your hand and you felt the years worth of effort melting in an instant. 
He had done the same thing that night, in Sector 6. And you had almost kissed him and told him how much he meant to you. But you had been drunk, and you had managed to keep yourself in control, though you couldn’t stop yourself from saying things you regretted saying ever since.
You were drunk tonight too- though you were pretty sure this was the most awake you had been for a while. San still had his lips on your hand, his eyes glazed as he looked at you.
“We shouldn’t- I was drunk-”
“Then tell me you didn’t mean anything you said back then,” he scoffed. “Tell me you don’t think about us every night before you sleep. And tell me you’re not holding yourself back right now, because Major
 I know you. I can see that you’re holding back.”
Indeed, he was familiar with every movement, every shift of your body like they were his own. He could read your eyes and your silence like you could read his. So when you didn’t respond, he dared to take another step and let his hand on your hip snake back so he could pull you closer, closer until you were flush against each other and you-
You couldn’t bear to look at him anymore, not without doing anything you might regret, so you did the next best thing and rested your head on his chest, making him freeze for the slightest moment before he relaxed and let go of your hand only to embrace you in a hug- a hug that made you melt into it and you wondered just how much you had craved this all along.
“Did I tell you how glad I am that you’re alive?” He mumbled, taking a deep breath when your arms finally went around his waist. You nodded, nuzzling the crook of his neck with your nose as a yes. He squeezed you in the hug before drawing back and kissing your forehead just like he had a couple nights ago. You inhaled deeply, wanting to stay in that moment forever. Perhaps he saw that- after all, this was probably the most vulnerable you had looked in front of him. Perhaps he wanted to test the waters- he kissed your cheek next, his hands resting on your shoulders.
“Do you still think I’m not in my senses?”
His words rang in your ears and for a few seconds, you just stared back at him, trying to get your brain to work and scream at you that this wasn’t something you should be doing, especially with someone you worked with. Not like this. Not now. But the silence in your brain was louder. You found yourself inching towards him, eyes fixed on his parted lips that looked like your salvation right now.
“I don’t want you to do something you will regret later-”
You ignored his warning and pulled him towards you, meeting his lips in a kiss. You drew back, finding him more surprised than you had thought- as if he hadn’t practically led you here with his own hands. You kissed his lips again, tasting the sweet tinge of alcohol- a reminder that perhaps, this wasn’t right. But you didn’t care. You’ve had enough of this. So you kissed him yet again, but he remained unmoving. You drew back and frowned in confusion.
“Why won’t you kiss me back, Sannie?”
It was like you calling him by that name undid something in him- he let out a guttural sound before cupping your face and kissing you back like it was the last time he would get to do so- and perhaps, he feared that it was. With your somewhat clouded minds, maybe this was just in the heat of the moment- for you- because he was so sure about himself. He had wanted you for so, so long and now that he finally had you-
You tried to meet the pace of his desperate kisses but it was overwhelming you, so you let him kiss you as he liked for a moment before breaking apart for air. You cupped his face, your heart breaking at the way he looked so unguarded.
“San- I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere- I’m right here.”
 “You’re here
 with me.”
“I’m here,” you nodded with a smile, pecking his lips. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
San understood and then kissed you so gently that the butterflies you got earlier in your stomach felt weak- this was how it should feel, like something in you was becoming undone and you could melt right there, in his arms, and be there forever. You wrapped your arms around his neck to meet his lips better and he held you close to him as if his arms were the only reason you were standing- you realised it was true because your knees were putty. He made you wrap your legs around him and pinned you to the wall, making you sit on his thigh while he kissed you.
The way he kissed
 you were absolutely losing it. The sound of his mouth on yours and the little grunts he produced were driving you crazy. The way his hands stayed on your waist, his thumbs hooking on your tank top made you shiver against him and he smiled into the kiss. And his tongue- oh goodness. He was incredible and you were wondering why you hadn’t done this earlier.
This time when you broke apart, he started trailing kisses down your neck and you shut your eyes in pleasure, rocking against his body, and when his lips stayed on one part of your skin unmoving but his hands gripped your hips, you realised he liked what you were doing. He liked you moving against his thigh. He looked up, a shit-eating grin on his face.
“Just how long have you wanted me, Major Seo?”
You raised a brow, annoyed, and smacked his arm, making him chuckle and capture your lips in a kiss again, guiding you towards his bed where he sat you, getting on top of you and you were both grinning and about to kiss again when-
When you both heard the sound of click on the door and couldn’t do anything but watch Major Kang enter, humming to himself, and then looking up- 
And freezing.
For a few moments, it was so silent that you could hear your own heartbeat in your ears.
“Uh
 carry on, please, don’t stop on my account,” he finally said, looking mortified. “I’ll just see myself out-”
“Wait-” you called but he only waved and disappeared, making you look at San-
And then you both burst into laughter, unable to tone it down, laughing as loudly as you could until you had tears in your eyes. San wiped his eyes, shaking his head at you.
“You really won’t be laughing like this tomorrow, y/n. I hope you will be, but I know you.”
Your smile slowly fell. You found San’s hand and looked at your interlocked hands for a long time. San didn’t ask what you were thinking- he knew anyways. So when you said you were going back to your room now, he let you- but not before he kissed you again and you responded enthusiastically- you really had no control over yourself tonight, it almost turned into another makeout session but San drew back.
“You should go. But when tomorrow comes
 don’t tell me you regret any of this, okay?”
“I won’t. I promise.”
He visibly relaxed. “Goodnight, y/n. I’ll come with you- I have to fetch Major Kang anyway. He might be traumatised.”
You chuckled, saying goodbye and going to your room and finding yourself unable to sleep because you couldn’t help replaying what just happened in your head- smiling like an idiot in love.
Maybe you were.
—--------------------------
“Can you stop looking at me like that?”
“Like what?” Major Kang raised his hands in surrender. “I’m not looking at you.”
You paused in the middle of cleaning your bullet wound to glare at the man in front of you who was also in the middle of changing his own bandages in the medical ward. He stifled a smile but failed, opting to turn his back to you instead.
“Just say it. Say it and get it over with.”
Major Kang sighed deeply. “Look, I’m not interested in what you and Major Choi do when you’re both alone- ” You threw the roll of surgical tape at him which he caught with a glare but he continued, “-I really did not have to see that sight when I came into my room, Major Seo. That’s all I’m saying.”
Years of training did not teach you how to keep the flush from your face. “I didn’t mean to-”
“Yeah, I’ve heard it before. ‘It just happened’- ”
“Shut up,” you groaned. “It really did just happen.”
“Don’t tell me it was your first time,” he scoffed and when he didn’t get a response, he gasped out loud, actually looking concerned for once. “It was your first time?”
“Yes,” you muttered, looking around and glad no one was in the vicinity. “If you’re thinking me and Major Choi are a thing, you’re wrong.”
“So you only made out yesterday because you were drunk?”
Was what you were asking yourself ever since the morning too. It was definitely not because you were drunk- moreover, you promised San that you would not regret this. 
And you did not. You were just confused about a number of things, especially how this would go on now. And you were glad the day was almost over and you still hadn’t come across San because you weren’t sure you could face him right now- you needed to get your thoughts straightened. 
“You’re confused,” Major Kang scanned your face with curiosity. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this confused, and I’ve known you for a very long time now. Something happened when you two were out there until we came to retrieve you, right?”
You sighed deeply, finishing bandaging your leg again and seating yourself on the corner of the bed. “I always thought that Major Choi joked around with me, but you know how he gets around me when he’s drunk, right?” Major Kang nodded and you continued. “I thought he only did that to rile me up or something-”
“He didn’t, but okay, carry on.”
You passed him a side-eye. “We’ve had a few moments in the past two years. Moments when I wondered if Major Choi was going to cross the boundaries of professionalism and do something that might change our dynamic-”
“Can you sound any more cryptic?” Major Kang sighed. “Just say that you like him.”
“I do!” You groaned out loud, burying your face in the bed. 
“Major Choi likes you too- you’ve just been too blind to see it.”
“I know.”
“Then I don’t see the problem?”
“I just
” you got up. “We’re special agents, Major Kang. Do you think it’s a wise decision to make? To be with a member of your team, of all the people in the world? We walk into death’s trap every other day and it’s honestly a miracle that we’re still alive, isn’t it? We’re on borrowed time. I just
 I cannot make this more complicated than it already is.”
“Hmm
 it makes sense,” Major Kang finished bandaging his own arm and sat next to you. “But that’s the agent in you speaking about all this professionalism and stuff. It’s not like the other agents here don’t have a family. Major Yu is a mother. You think she didn’t think about this before marrying a civilian?”
You bit your lips- it was true. Major Yu was someone you had immense respect for- she was balancing her work and personal life extremely well. As a mother, as someone with a family, she probably risked more than any one of you when going into missions. Major CJ was the only provider in his family too. 
“I think there’s something else you’re scared of
 and perhaps, you haven’t figured out what exactly that is yet,” Major Kang smiled knowingly. “I think you just need to go with the flow. If you really think you’re on borrowed time, shouldn’t you be living each moment to the fullest instead of holding yourself back?”
That line stuck with you. 
It stuck with you for the rest of the day, making you wonder just what would be so bad about being with Choi San and what was really stopping you and making you so afraid of the future.
You didn’t try to find Major Choi that day but you knew you couldn’t avoid him forever. You did come across him the next day but it was with everyone else and it was very casual- as if nothing had happened between you two. You were arguing just like usual, met up with Sergeant Kim to get the files and data for your next mission and the three of you planned a strategy for hours until you parted ways for the night. You wondered if he had actually been so drunk that he forgot the events of that night when a knock sounded on your door and you checked the time, wondering if it was one of the girls who needed something-
And blinked twice when you opened the door and found Major Choi in front of you.
“Is something wrong?” You asked, looking around, wondering if something had happened-
“Shouldn’t we talk?”
Oh. Your eyes went wide and you pulled him inside, shutting the door. “You shouldn’t come here so casually.”
“Why? Major CJ comes and goes as he pleases- I’ve never seen anyone feel strange about that.”
“Jongho is everyone’s baby here,” you told him. “He’s like our little brother. We don’t mind him,” you grinned. “However, you coming here is another story-”
“Oh? On a first name basis with Jongho yet the first time you called my name in years is because we thought we wouldn’t live to see the next day?”
You scanned his figure- he was still in his uniform and it looked like he hadn’t gone back to his room at all. He had removed the bandage from his cheekbone so there was a dull graze instead. His hair was no longer combed back but messily falling on his forehead as if he had been running his hands through them.
“If you wanted to be called by your name that bad, you could have just asked,” you said casually, steering towards the small kitchen in your room and offering him a drink. He raised a brow.
“Should we drink again?”
You sighed deeply, resting your figure against the counter and ditching the drinks. “You came to talk.”
“How’s your leg?”
“Oh, it’s fine,” you looked down at your bandaged calf. “How’s your arm?”
“What do I mean to you?”
The room fell silent. The silence was too suffocating. You did not realise how long you simply stared at San until he took a step towards you and you took a step back, watching hurt flash in his eyes.
“Wait, let me just
” you tried saying something to undo that moment, swallowing the anxious wave that spread through you. You took a deep breath and looked at the man-
The man who meant the world to you. The only person who had been in your life for so long and was such a big part of it. How could you ever tell him that with words? 
“Just tell me one thing, y/n,” he insisted, his voice low and so cautious. “Tell me if you regret where we are right now.”
“I don’t,” your response was immediate. “I don’t regret any moment of it.”
“Then what are you so afraid of?”
You looked away and this time you didn’t stop San as he inched closer towards you until he could hold your hands in his. “Tell me what’s holding you back.”
Your heart fluttered at the sight of your linked hands. You weren’t sure you could say anything that would not hurt him at that moment but there were some things you needed to address. “Should we really do this, Major? We’re special agents. We’re a team. You can’t tell me this is a good decision.”
“Do you think I care about that?” He asked. “We’re a team and we will continue to be a team. Nothing will change.”
“That’s a lie, though,” you smiled sadly as you looked at him. “Everything will change. Everything has changed.”
“Not for me,” he brought one hand to tuck your hair behind your ear, studying your eyes and trying to decipher the puzzling look in them. “I have loved you for so long that it’s become a part of me now.”
You shut your eyes, letting that sink in and when he took another step towards you, you didn’t stop him as he kissed your forehead. “I know you feel at least a fraction of what I feel for you. So tell me all your fears, y/n. I’m here.”
“Isn’t it obvious?” You laughed a bit. “I’ve always talked about professionalism, haven’t I? I’ve always talked about how unprofessional it is to have an intimate relationship with someone in this field when you don’t even know if you will live to see the next day. How can I do this and not be afraid, Major?”
“I mean
” he pouted. “You’re right but we’re still alive-”
“Major Choi San-”
“Okay, I’m sorry,” he laughed and you were kind of grateful that he was keeping it light because you weren’t sure what sort of a mess you would become otherwise. “I know what you mean. I feel that as much as you do. But y/n
” he caressed your cheek. “Every mission where we cheat death, I grow more and more afraid of losing you. And then I think about what I will regret if I lose you- not telling you how I feel about you. How much you mean to me.”
“That’s why I’m afraid, San,” you admitted. “I know one day it’s going to happen. I know why I’m here, I know how dangerous it is, and I have seen what happens when you lose someone in this manner. You know that.”
You were referring to your mother. He knew the stories about your family quite well- you told him when you first became friends. “This war is ugly. We’re here to end this and we will die in the process. It is our fate. We’re only going to make it more complicated for us if we do this.”
Major Choi did not like the way you thought about these things- time and time again, you both had been on opposite ends in this argument. He had tried so hard to break your walls and make you see life from an optimistic lens. He wished you could take a peek in his mind.
“I would rather die happy than to live regretting what I could have done for the rest of my life,” San said, making you lock eyes with him. “I would rather have known the taste of your lips, the feel of your skin on my skin than to imagine what it could have been,” he leaned down to whisper in your ears-
“And I would rather have known the sounds you make when I touch you, because god, I cannot get those sounds out of my head.”
Warmth pooled in your stomach at his words and perhaps he was good at triggering you to do things you wouldn’t normally do because you saw the opportunity and took it- you saw his bare neck and snaked your hand up to push the collar of his jacket to the side so you could plant a sweet kiss at the spot you had your eyes on- the spot that had made him squirm that night. This time, he was the one making those sounds and perhaps he was right-
You’d rather die having known all those things. Having known what he felt like, in every way possible.
San’s grip on your waist tightened a bit as you trailed kisses up his neck to his jaw and then caressed the scar on his cheekbone with your thumb. You were dazed in that moment and you did not want to think about anything else except the fact that he was so close to you right now, so close that you could feel the warmth of his body and it felt so welcoming. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, realising it might be your favourite spot. San let you have your moment until he hummed to make sure you were alright.
“What are you thinking, love?”
You sighed. How could you ever get used to him calling you ‘love’? How could you ever get used to being in his arms and feeling so safe? How could you go to the field with him covering you? You would want to shield him from everything. But then

You have always felt that way. Perhaps he was right. It wouldn’t be so different.
You didn’t respond. You drew back and scanned his face once before locking your gaze on his lips. He got the signal and he immediately planted his lips on yours and you kissed him, feeling every nerve in your body ignite with pleasure. One of his hands went to rest on the back of your neck, his thumb caressing your skin and guiding you as he kissed you better, deeper until you had to draw away and catch your breath.
You melted at the way he couldn’t open his eyes for a few moments. For the shortest moment, you could understand why you were afraid of all the wrong reasons, though that did nothing to soothe your anxiety. It was only San kissing you again that made you forget about all your fears and let yourself get lost in that moment. He picked you up effortlessly and took you to the couch, placing you down ever so gently as he got on top of you. 
“I need you to use your words,” San moved your hair away from your face gently, searching your eyes. “Tell me we’re good.”
“We’re good,” you nodded. “San, please-”
San realised what you meant when he noticed the position you both were in- he was hovering on top of you but his knee was dangerously close to your core. His breath got caught and he looked at you again but before you could take the matters into your own hands, he held your wrists.
“Tell me what you want.”
You groaned, looking away but San wasn’t having any of it. He leaned closer, turning your face to him gently by placing his fingers under your chin and made you lock eyes with him. You watched his lips curl into a smile and he said, “Look at you, Major. You’re all flushed.”
“Shut up,” you laughed, attempting to hide your face but he was grinning, not allowing you to do so. You huffed in defeat, locking eyes with him yet again, trailing one hand up his arm and then down his chest to unbutton his jacket slowly. San watched you while you did that and then his jacket fell open, leaving him with a black tank top underneath. You were about to snake both your hands under when he gripped your wrists again.
“You still haven’t answered me.”
“I want you,” you breathed, propelling yourself forward so you could meet his lips and you pecked them. “I want you, Major. I want to be with you for the rest of my life, however short it may be, even though the rational part of my brain still thinks it’s a bad idea,” you said, letting San fall back on the couch so you were now on top of him with your legs on either side of him. “I don’t know how long I’ve wanted you for, how long I’ve loved you because I know I do, I just
 never allowed myself to think about this, so,” you bit your lips, looking at him and finding his gaze overwhelming. His grip on your wrists loosened and you took that chance to place your hands on his collarbones, caressing them. “You mean so much to me. I will always be afraid of losing you. And I don’t know how we’ll figure this out- how I will figure this out since you seem to have the hang of it already, but
” you both laughed at that and you locked eyes with him. “I want you.”
San kissed you, lingering there. “Say that again.”
“I want you,” you breathed, meeting his lips again and opening your mouth as soon as his tongue swiped your lips, your arms going around his neck to hold him closer as you kissed. It wasn’t rushed yet there was a sense of urgency now that you both had bared your hearts to each other. And San wasn’t shy while making out with you at all. His hands were everywhere and soon, he shifted so he was back to being on top of you, which was when he started to trail his lips down your neck.
“Can I take this off?” He asked, fisting your shirt and you nodded, taking off his jacket first. He smirked, taking off your shirt for you and leaving you in a black athletic bra. He shook his head in amusement but went back to trailing kisses down your neck. You shut your eyes and lowered your defences- that was what he was aiming to do. His kisses were gradually releasing all the tension from your shoulders and you wondered how he knew that. His hands travelled up your waist and you opened your eyes, nodding and he wasted no time taking off your bra as well and when you pouted, he laughed, taking off his tank top.
“Now we’re even,” he grinned, looking shamelessly at you and you resisted the urge to fold in on yourself.
“No, we’re not,” you muttered. “And stop looking at me like I’m your last meal.”
San laughed heartily, kissing your lips and you smiled into the kiss. “You’re beautiful. So beautiful. Seo beautiful.”
“Shut up,” you groaned. “That joke is the worst thing I’ve heard.”
“It cracks you up everytime,” he muttered against your mouth, kissing you again and diving down, his hand cupping one of your breasts and playing with it while he kissed and licked and nibbled everywhere he could. You couldn’t breathe and you put a hand over your mouth as if you needed to stifle your sounds but he noticed that and held your hand away.
“Don’t be shy, Major. I need to hear you make all those pretty sounds.”
“God, you’re insufferable-” you began but he went to attack your sweet spot right at that moment, earning a little moan and then he smiled in victory, making you slap his arm. You decided that he had teased you enough and with your legs, you pushed him away to get back on top of him, your chests flush against each other and your arms around his neck, holding his face closer to yours as you kissed him deeply, rolling your hips on his lap and earning a loud groan from him. You grinned in the kiss but this time, it was you who groaned when he grabbed your waist and made you do that again.
“Don’t stop,” he pleaded, kissing you again and you nodded, matching his movements and finding him hard against your core. You weren’t trying to hold back your noises anymore and neither was he, and you were glad at least one of you had a room all to themself so you could do this without any worries. You gave up on kissing at some point and snaked your hands down his chest to the plane of his stomach, tracing his abs, and then down and down-
“Shall we take this to bed?” San suggested, stifling a groan when your hands played with the waistband of his pants. “You’re not shy anymore.”
You shrugged and he got up, making you wrap yourself around him, giggling as he made his way to your bed, dropping you gently. He caressed your injured leg. “We don’t want you to be uncomfortable, do we?”
You hummed, letting him take your trousers off and he got back on top of you, admiring your body and wondering where to start. You poked his stomach with your toes and he laughed, nuzzling your neck with his nose and you took a moment to memorise how that felt, because

You felt so, so safe. There were no alarms ringing in your head. There were no sounds alerting you except the sound of his breath or his kisses which relaxed you. There was no sense of rush, for all your talk about ‘being short on time’. You wrapped your arms around him and he was quick to detect the sudden shift in your mood but didn’t say anything. He knew you were figuring it out along the way now, and he was elated that you even gave him a chance to prove that it wasn’t as bad as you thought. He settled next to you, bringing you in his arms and you placed a leg on top of him. His hands went to cup your thigh and your breath hitched at the sensation of his hand so near where you wanted him so, so bad. You fiddled closer and he kissed your head, letting his hands caress your inner thigh.
“Are we good?”
“So good,” you almost moaned, kissing his lips again. You wanted- no, needed him at this point. And you were glad he understood you so well, so when his fingers slid inside your panties, you shuddered against him. He caressed your folds, finding you soaked and kissing you eagerly as he slid his fingers up your wet folds, rubbing your clit once and you moaned into the kiss, pushing your hips against his hand to meet his movements better. He continued like that, just teasing you and kissing all your moans away before he finally slid one finger inside you-
“Fuck,” he groaned in your ear. “You feel so good.”
You didn’t respond, shutting your eyes and letting him continue like that for a while until he slid another finger inside you and you groaned loudly.
“Gosh, you’re perfect,” he met your lips in an open mouthed kiss. “Look at you. All needy for me.”
“You look like you’ve done this before,” you bit your lips, stifling a moan. “You’re pretty good at what you’re doing.”
“Am I?” He grinned, pressing his thumb to your clit and making you squirm. “I think it’s just because I know you so well. I know exactly how to get you riled up, Major.”
You rolled your eyes but when he started to stop teasing and start pleasing, you brought him closer, your kisses messy and needier now as he drove you to the edge and he drew back to watch you fall apart on his fingers, shuddering deeply and out of breath. He peppered kisses on your face as you recovered from your high and you finally opened your eyes.
“Shall I return the favour?”
San raised a brow before it hit him and he groaned. “I don’t think I’ll be able to stop if you decide to touch me tonight, Major.”
“I never asked you to stop-”
“Shh,” he scolded, putting a finger on your lips and you took that chance to kiss it, making him laugh in disbelief. “I don’t want to rush anything with you,” he kissed you deeply. “I will have you soon, I promise that. I should let your leg heal first. I know it still hurts.”
You pouted deeply and he settled next to you, holding you in his arms. “Just let me hold you like this tonight, okay?”
“If that’s what you want,” you said, content to be right there. There was no better feeling than this. “I will have my revenge soon, though.”
“Oh? Is that how it is now?” 
“Yes,” you grinned, “I will settle the score soon.”
San shook his head in amusement and you teased each other for a while, occasionally riling the other up until you both fell asleep in each other’s arms.
—----------------------------
You were starting to understand why people always choose love no matter what their circumstances were. You were starting to understand how they found love even in the darkest of times, because

Choi San was making sure that you would never feel alone or sad again.
A lot had changed since that night. While working, you two were pretty much the same. He would still rile you up with his bad jokes (were they bad if they did make you crack up later?) and you would still threaten to off him each time. It was very casual like before, yet

He still refused to get his bandages changed by anyone else and invited himself to your room each morning and night so you could play his nurse. In the mornings since you were short on time and had to get to work, you two would joke around or share a light kiss which was routine now- you still marvelled at how it had become something you could call ‘routine’. But at night

You asked Major Kang later if he was lonely because his roommate was spending most of his nights in your room. He only laughed in response and said he couldn’t care less because Major Choi annoyed him enough in the day so he could make up for it. You tsk-ed at that, having missed the chance to use that card on San so he could stop coming to your room all the time- surely the others must have noticed now as well. But could you really put all the blame on him when you were just as eager to see him at nights as he was?
Perhaps, you were more to blame. He would come in your room with the excuse of you checking on his wounds, and each time you would end up tracing the scars on his body, kissing some of them and that would turn into a makeout session and more, until you were skin on skin. He would return the favour then- trace your scars but each time with a story-
“I wish I had reacted earlier so you wouldn’t have gotten this.”
“I wish I had been there instead of you.”
You knew that the Major had the softest heart since the beginning, but it still amazed you when he looked at you with such hurt in his eyes, as if it physically pained him to see your body littered with scars. You told him it was okay, that these scars were unavoidable and you didn’t think much of them, but he only responded that he found them beautiful- especially the ones you took for him.
“Oh? Can you count all the ones I took for you?” You had asked.
“I can. I bet you can count all the ones I took for you too,” he responded with a smirk. 
He was right. You could. You had his body memorised since the very beginning- you could trace each of his scars with your eyes shut. You told him that and he was pretty pleased to hear that, attacking you with newfound affection and adoration that sometimes you found overwhelming but loved anyway. Overwhelming only because you had pushed him away all these years and-
And because it reminded you of your parents. 
Your parents had been so much in love. Your mother would wait for the weekends when it was time for your father to visit from the army. She would become a different person in his presence and you had loved that about her. You often resented your mother for breaking apart after your father’s sudden death, but now you were starting to understand what she must have felt because you were sure you would be the same. However
 
She did not possess the power to protect her partner. You did.
You were thinking about that when San nuzzled your cheek and broke you out of your trance. “You’re zoning out, love.”
You realised that you were- you had been staring at the documents in your hands for far too long now. You cleared your throat and started arranging them again so you could get back to the page you had been reading before you got lost in your head. San watched you do so and asked, “Is something bothering you?”
“No, I was just thinking about a few things,” you said, remembering where your train of thoughts started when you found the page. “Look- that’s Agent Golf, right? From Squad 6?”
“Major Lee, yes,”  San scanned the page. “From that damned mission two years ago.”
You recalled that very well- the agents here still referred to that incident because everyone thought it had been a mistake to take an injured agent to the field. Sure, you needed manpower at that time and every soldier counted, but
 
You all could still have avoided Major Lee’s death.
“I don’t remember him much, I’m sure you’ve interacted with him more,” you began and San nodded in agreement, “Was he close to his squad members? Like we are?”
“He was one of the older members,” San recalled. “So I’m sure his juniors depended on him a lot.”
“Did they ever find his body? I remember the funeral but I remember they didn’t find a body.”
“I’ll have to ask Sergeant Kim. What are you thinking?”
“I’m just wondering
” you began, your gut feeling making you confused. “I’m wondering if he is still alive.”
“If he was
” San shifted towards you. “I’m sure someone would have gone to retrieve him or he would have found his way back. It’s been two years.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” you shook your head and put the page back inside the folder. “It’s sad. We don’t even know if he had a family.”
“I’m sure his squad members will be taking care of that,” San placed his hand on your shoulder, rubbing it assuringly. “What’s really bothering you, love?”
You passed him a side-eye as you smiled. He knew you too well. “Nothing. I just don’t like the idea of performing a background check on people we are supposed to trust. I don’t like the idea that there is a rat among us.”
San could understand. “I’m more surprised than mad. I don’t know why anyone would choose to do that- when Eden has destroyed our home and families.”
“Right? I’m trying to look into why anyone would do that in the first place. That way we would be able to narrow down our suspects.”
“And is that why you were looking into Major Lee? Do you think he might be alive?”
“I was probably overthinking,” you sighed, cracking your neck. “I’ll look into the rest later. Do you want some tea? Coffee?”
“Coffee, please,” San said and you nodded, kissing his temple and getting up to go to the kitchen. Today had been a long day and you were getting tired of suspecting everyone around you- at least not your squad. They could never do that. 
You were just mixing up different blends of coffee when you felt arms wrap around your waist and you jumped, making San laugh. “I didn’t even hear you!”
“I wasn’t trying to be silent. You’re too lost in your head tonight,” San kissed the top of your head. “Long day?”
“Since I can’t go to the field for a while, Major Yu is making me do all her paperwork while she goes in my place,” you sighed. “I like being in the field better. I can’t sit at the desk all day.”
“I miss you too,” San muttered and you laughed, trying to grab the sugar pot but San just held you closer, resting his head against yours. “I miss being on the field with you. I had to partner up with Major Yu- she couldn’t stop cracking jokes through the radio- I almost got caught because of her twice.”
“I think that’s how she copes,” you giggled. “And you better be careful. I’m done nursing your wounds.”
“Are you?” San backed away only to stare at you. “Because I distinctly recall you kissing all my wounds a couple nights ago-”
You smacked his chest, asking him to back away if he wanted his coffee, but when he swung you around whilst tickling you, you were positive your laugh must have rang throughout the dorms and you put a hand over your mouth when he placed you on the counter.
“Major Choi San, the entire dorm must have heard my laugh-”
San shut you up with a kiss, catching you by surprise. However, you were quick to melt into it, the butterflies in your stomach wild. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he deepened the kiss and when he broke apart, he watched you as you caught your breath, your lashes fluttering while you gazed at his lips- he was driving you insane. 
“You know how much I love it when you laugh, don’t you?”
You sighed internally- the Major was pretty direct with his words and feelings. No beating around the bush- not from him. Sometimes, you appreciated that because he was so clear and straightforward with you, no room left for confusion.
But at times when he said things like these

San smiled, watching your cheeks get flushed. “You know
 I never thought it was that simple to make you blush. With just words. You never blush when we make out or have sex, but
”
“What can I say? I’m not hard to please,” you laughed a bit, burying your face in his neck, still shy from his sudden comment. “Maybe you should have tried that instead of teasing me all this time.”
San hummed in agreement, running his hands down your arms and then snaking them inside your shirt to hold you at your waist. You kissed his neck in response, fisting his shirt and looking up at him. “This needs to go.”
“Oh?” San scoffed. “Not tired anymore, are you?”
“Oh, I still am,” you helped him take off his T-shirt, running your hands across the smooth planes of his chest. “I’m just waiting for you to do something about it.” 
“And? What would you like me to do about it?” San brought his hand up to your face to caress it as he looked at you lovingly, tracing the curves and edges of your face and sliding a thumb across your lips, a faint hint of smirk on his own lips as he slid his thumb inside your mouth. You pretended to bite him, making him grin but then you sucked on it until he looked pleased. He traced it across your lower lip again before kissing you softly.
“Words, love. I need your words.”
“You can do whatever you want to me-”
“That’s pretty vague,” San cocked his head. “I could leave you right here and go back to sleep.”
“Well then,” you huffed. “Why don’t you bend me over and fuck me? Is that what you want to hear?”
“Ah, that’s better,” San started taking off your clothes until you were in your panties only. You watched him take in the sight- he always did that. His eyes would travel everywhere along your body as he ran his rough palms across them, and then he would start kissing your neck, peppering kisses anywhere he liked until you were squirmy and needy for him. It was as if he aimed to please you and you alone- he wouldn’t let you have your way until he was done with you.
You clenched your thighs as he stopped sucking on the crook of your neck and he noticed, raising a brow. “Already needy for me?”
“Do something about it,” you said through gritted teeth and he let his hands run down your sides until he hooked his thumbs in the waistband of your panties. You spread your legs for him, your core throbbing painfully now- and perhaps, he could see it on how you furrowed your brows. San rubbed at your clothed clit and you moaned loudly-
And that was his undoing. He dragged you closer and slid his fingers under your panties, sliding them along your wet folds and sliding his tongue in your mouth simultaneously, making you grip his shoulders as he kissed you. You lifted yourself up so he could take off your panties and he did, bending down to slide them off your legs and gripping your thighs afterwards, spreading them to see the mess he had made-
“In just a few minutes
 you really want me that bad?” He commented and you groaned.
“Fuck you.”
“Oh, you will,” he promised, trailing kisses up your thighs and keeping them apart before his lips reached dangerously close to your core. He looked up at you once, settling on his knees before licking up a stripe and you cursed loudly, one hand supporting you up while the other automatically went to grip San’s hair-
Oh, how he loved that. He licked up again before his tongue dived inside you and his thumb started rubbing slow, slow and steady circles on your clit. It was too much and at the same time, it was not enough- you wanted him impossibly closer to you. He was driven by your moans and he was so good at what he was doing. You tried clenching your thighs but he wouldn’t let you. You moaned shamelessly when his nose rubbed against your clit as he shifted his position and at this point, he was practically making out with your clit. 
“San, please,” you begged. “I’m so close.”
He only hummed, inserting a finger inside you- he had done this enough times now to know exactly what drove you to the edge. The combination of his finger inside you, his nose rubbing against your clit and his tongue lapping your juices while he hummed against you drove you to your high and you tugged at his hair as you broke apart, clenching your thighs against his face but he did not stop- he continued with his ministrations until you were spent and you recovered from your orgasm. When he finally looked up at you, he grinned and you chuckled to yourself, running your hands through his hair. He got up and wiped his mouth with his hand.
“You’re delicious.”
“Shut up,” you smacked his chest but he shook his head, capturing your lips in an open mouthed kiss and diving his tongue inside so you could taste yourself on him and the way he kissed you, gripping your neck and hips and scooting you closer so you spread your legs and met his hard bulge made warmth pool in your stomach again for what was in store next.
“I’m nowhere near done, as you can already tell,” he muttered, tucking your hair back before taking out a condom from his pocket and shrugging down his trousers and boxers, his hard length swollen and ready to take you. You licked your lips at the sight and he noticed that, shaking his head in amusement as he pumped himself a few times before wrapping the condom around his length.
“Fuck me, San.”
“What?” 
“Fuck me, Major Choi San,” you said, not a shred of exhaustion in you as you wrapped your legs around his waist and brought him closer, his length wedged between the two of you. “I want you to fuck me right here, hard.”
San growled in your ear, biting your earlobe in response and positioning his cock to meet your wet folds, rubbing it against them a few times before sliding it inside you and you helped position yourself better, letting out a deep breath once he was fully wedged inside you-
And then he pumped himself in you- hard. 
Your eyes rolled back in pleasure and he started pumping his length in and out of you, kissing you anywhere his mouth could meet in between, your hands running across his back, chest, waist, and gripping at his hips. 
“Harder, San. Harder,” you begged. “I don’t want you to be soft this time.”
“Babe, do you want me to break you?” San asked, slowing down.
“Yes,” you breathed, kissing his lips. “Break me.”
San groaned, placing his hand on your neck and pushing you back until you were flat on the counter and you decided you liked this position better already, until-
Until he placed your legs on his shoulders and started pumping into you and your moans got uncontrollably loud, his length hitting you so deep in places you hadn’t discovered earlier.
“You like this, huh?” San groaned. “Want me to use you like a ragdoll?”
You only moaned in response, already close even though he seemed nowhere near done and you wondered if you really should have asked for this- though the pleasure now was nothing like what you had before. He took your hand and placed it on your stomach, pressing it so you could feel him pumping in and out of you, while his other hand remained on your neck, occasionally squeezing it lightly making your walls clench around him uncontrollably. 
“So tight for me,” San grunted, “Always so tight for me.”
“I’m so close-”
As soon as you said that, San squeezed the sides of your neck and pumped deeply into you, making you break apart with a loud moan, the orgasm heightened thanks to his hand on your neck. He continued for a few moments until he, too, groaned loudly and reached his orgasm, shaking as his body rested on top of you. 
You both stayed like that for a few moments with you caressing his head. When he recovered, he started peppering soft kisses all over your face, making you giggle. He drew back to lock eyes with you, and before he could say anything-
“I love you so much.”
His eyes went a little wide at the sudden confession. He smiled, pecking your lips. “I love you too. I’m glad you finally caved in, y/n. I’m glad you’re mine.”
“Hmm, you might need to be a little more convincing
”
San raised a brow, laughing loudly at your suggestion. He snatched a few tissues from the table and started cleaning your thighs.
“Next time you say that you’re tired,” he began. “I’ll understand that you just mean you want to be fucked-”
“San!” You laughed, getting up from the counter and down on the floor, your legs wobbly and you instinctively held on to him.
“You were saying?”
You glared at the man, smacking his chest as you muttered you were going to the shower. He shook his head, deciding to follow you there too.
—----------------------------
“Route 2 is clear, Team 1 please proceed forward,” you said into the radio, switching your position to the other window, making sure Team 1’s exit point was also clear. You heard a ‘copy that’ confirmation and zoomed in on the exit. 
“All clear on the West Exit. Team 2, please report your status?”
“We’re ready,” Major Choi’s voice sounded.
“Copy that. Proceed to the West Exit from Route 4. Team 3, I need confirmation for data retrieval?”
“Data retrieved,” Major Han responded. 
You moved to the other end of the room, signalling Major Yeom to keep watch on the West Exit while you checked Team 3’s route. After confirming a clear path, you called in the radio, “Team 3 towards North Exit- avoid Route 3. I spot movement.”
“Copy that,” Major Han confirmed and you watched for any signs of movement. All seemed clear and you allowed your shoulders to relax a bit, taking a deep breath. You switched positions with Major Yeom again, asking if everything seemed okay and he reported that it did.
“Team 1 has exited,” Sergeant Kim called. 
“Copy that,” you finally spotted Team 2 not far behind, Major Choi and Major Yu walking stealthily towards the gate, the enemy guard having disappeared to switch rotations. You watched them exit and exhaled another breath of relief.
“I’m spotting movement on the North Exit,” Major Yeom called and you waited until Team 2 was safely outside and signalled their exit before joining Major Yeom across the room. You zoomed in with your binoculars and indeed, three guards seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. You frowned, “Where did they come from?”
“I spotted them around that building,” Major Yeom pointed, turning on his radio and you nodded. He called, “Team 3, please halt. Proceed to find shelter- movement spotted near the North Exit at your 10 o’clock.”
“Copy that,” Major CJ answered. Major Yeom alerted the Squad 6 members waiting for Team 3 at the North Exit and you dared to ask him something.
“How has your squad been holding up after Agent Oscar?”
Major Yeom slowly brought the binoculars down, glancing at you for a moment. “Uh
 we’re holding up okay, for the most part. It’s not the first time this happened after all.”
You felt a sharp sting at his words but you knew what he meant. He was probably talking about the past members such as Major Lee and the others. “I know. Somehow
 you get used to being okay. You just have to be.”
“Yeah
” Major Yeom switched his binoculars. “You
 you saved Agent Bravo, right?”
“Agent Oscar too,” you pointed out, sparing him a glance. “Before the enemy fired and we lost Oscar. He wasn’t in the best state anyway- I think he lost his leg.”
“What do you mean?”
“What do you think they do to you when they capture you, Major?” You asked, not waiting for his response as you guided Team 3 to switch buildings. “Agent Oscar was unfortunate enough to be questioned by the enemy. They were getting answers out of him when we arrived- Major Choi and I.”
“I
 I did not know that,” Major Yeom sighed. 
“Team 3?” You called into the radio. “I think you have a tail.”
“Shall we split?” Major CJ asked.
“No, it’s better to stick together,” you answered, asking Major Yeom to guide Team 3 to the North Exit or steer them towards the West Exit while you went to the other corner of the room and took out the radio meant for you and the Sergeant only.
“Sergeant?”
“I’m here,” Sergeant Kim sounded grim already. “Team 3 has a tail?”
“You’re thinking what I’m thinking?” You asked, making sure to keep your voice low.
“I’m going to inspect everyone who’s back. I don’t care anymore,” Sergeant Kim began but you bit your lips in thought.
“Wait- not yet,” you told him. “It would make it too obvious. Let’s wait until we get back and we’ll see what we have to do.”
Sergeant Kim did not respond for a few seconds but then he gave you an okay and you went back to join Major Yeom. The Team was being guided to the North Exit now and you resorted to watching Major Yeom plan out a new route. You occasionally quipped in and it took another half an hour for Team 3 to make a safe exit at north and you finally sat down and drank water.
“Good job, Major,” you said and he passed a smile, nodding. “I’m wondering why they were being tailed. Nobody spotted them during the mission.”
“Maybe they watched and decided to confront them later,” Major Yeom shrugged and you agreed, though you highly doubted that. You both packed your gear and started to exit out of the building, going inside the basement and walking in silence along the path that connected to a building right outside the West Exit. Bumping fists with the Major after making it through, you walked to your car where Sergeant Kim awaited, looking-
“Very grumpy. You’re making it too obvious.”
“I can’t help it,” he said. “There is a rat in our base who knew we were going to be here today. Who knew exactly what our plan was.”
“Let’s talk about it when we get back,” you whispered, patting his arm and going to Major Choi who was waving at you, looking rather cheerful.
“What’s got you in a good mood today?”
“Ask her,” San pointed at Major Yu who was in a heated discussion with Major Kang. You stood next to San, listening to their discussion and smacking San’s thigh when he tried holding your hand. 
“-so I asked my husband if he could really get me some tickets to the festival. And he’s such a sweetheart- it was tough but he managed to get exactly 7 tickets for the 7 of us!” Major Yu grinned. “So we’re scheduling our vacation next month and all going to Sector 6. I don’t care if you have to go see your families or friends- you all are coming with me to Sector 6 first before you go home.”
Major Kang got up and saluted her dramatically, making everyone laugh. You looked at San who already had a shit-eating grin on his face. You leaned closer, “I know what’s going on in your head right now. Cleanse your brain.”
“Not a chance,” he blew a kiss and you swatted it, making a face, Major Kang noticing and pretending to throw up. Sergeant Kim ordered everyone to get inside the car and you began your way back to the base. During the ride, you kept replaying the events of this mission in your head, wondering how the enemy knew exactly where Team 3 was. There had to be someone who told the enemy about the mission and you felt nauseous at the thought that it could be someone you knew.
You met up with Major CJ and Major Han when you got back to the base and found them just as confused as you. Sergeant Kim was wise enough to not let the confusion spread any further, calling them in his office for individual reports. Meanwhile, San and you casually moved to a corner and he asked you what was up.
“Our mission almost got compromised today, San,” you admitted and he frowned. “Team 3 got a tail right when they were about to exit- we had to reroute them. Someone knew Team 3’s exact location, our routes, our exit points. We’ve been compromised, San. And I’m wondering how long this has been going- if we really could have saved more people had we found out earlier.”
San pursed his lips in thought. “Does Sergeant Kim know?” 
“Yeah, he caught on just as I did,” you nodded. “We need to do something about this before they retaliate, the enemy. Because if they’ve been gathering information so far
 I think they’ll strike soon, and it’s making me so worried-”
“Shh, it’s okay,” San came forward and wrapped you in a hug, not caring if anyone saw. You didn’t care either, simply relaxing in his arms. “We’ll figure it out together, okay? I think today’s mission might have narrowed our suspect list- this mission was supposed to be known only to a selected few.”
“I hope so,” you drew back. 
“Let’s go eat dinner before Sergeant Kim calls for us,” San suggested and you agreed, not really talking much and San let you sort your thoughts out while you ate. It was the Sergeant himself who found you both in the dining hall and the three of you decided to go to your room.
Sergeant Kim looked around a bit before settling on the couch beside San who had already made himself home on the other end. Sergeant Kim narrowed his eyes at him, “You look too comfortable here.”
“Ah, it must be your first time here, huh?” San scoffed. “Welcome to Mr. and Mrs. Choi’s residence-”
“What did you gather from Team 3’s report?” You interrupted, having brought the documents Sergeant Kim had handed you a few days earlier and joining the two, dragging a chair to sit across them. 
“Nothing much,” the Sergeant replied and you noticed San sulking at the way the two of you had ignored him completely. You shrugged at him as if to say ‘did you expect anything else?’. “They are pretty sure no one spotted them during the mission. Did you see anything suspicious while you kept watch?”
“Nothing until Team 3’s exit,” you told him. “The guards started moving towards where they were all of a sudden as if they knew. Major Yeom guided the team out for the most part.”
“Okay, so here’s the thing,” Sergeant Kim started spreading the pages on the table while he continued. “I don’t think there’s a pattern yet, but I think it’s safe to say that if there’s a rat and they’ve been watching our movements, they’re done simply watching. They’re retaliating. And we know that because in the past 4 months, our success rate has significantly dropped- and I’m not talking about the book definition of success.”
“You’re talking about the agents we’ve lost,” San said.
“That’s right,” the Sergeant nodded. “What do you think?”
You took a deep breath. “With both these missions, we were compromised on one of the routes known only within the base, right? With Squad 7 guiding us back at the base, and the rest of us in the field. Can we narrow it down somehow?”
“I have a feeling today didn’t go like they expected,” Sergeant Kim admitted. “If they tailed Team 3, they must have tried to accomplish something, right? What did they get accomplished though? Nothing. I think today is the first time they failed. In which case
”
“In which case they might retaliate,” you completed and he nodded, grim. “What changed today?”
“We can omit Squad 5 from the list of suspects, I think,” he answered. “That leaves us with our squad and Squad 6. I don’t think we should suspect Squad 7- if there’s a rat in there, they would find out themselves. It’s not like they were guiding us today either.”
“I really don’t think it’s someone from our squad,” San quipped in and you agreed.
“Squad 6, huh?” Sergeant Kim looked at the pages spread across the table- information of the current and former members of the squad. He picked Major Yeom’s page to get a closer look. “Did he know you were joining him today? At the station?”
“It was a last minute thing for me too, no one did,” you told him. “Do you think Major Yeom could be the rat?”
“Even if he is
 who is he reporting to? Is it someone in the base or someone outside?” Sergeant Kim sighed. “And can we really suspect Major Yeom? What about the others? One of them made a pretty stupid mistake in our previous mission, if I recall.”
“Plus, Major Yeom is the one who eventually guided Team 3 safely outside,” you glanced at San. “You’re friends with a few from Squad 6, right? Anyone exhibiting strange behaviour after our previous mission?”
“Not really, no,” San shook his head, leaning forward. “I don’t think us sitting and drawing conclusions like this will yield any results. We need to conduct a proper investigation into this before something worse happens. We should alert the Lieutenant.”
“I would have alerted him already had I secured some solid evidence. There’s no pattern yet and we’re trusting our guts. As much as I trust my gut and you both, I can’t simply go with that to the Lieutenant,” Sergeant Kim sighed loudly before slumping back and you made a face. 
“We have to follow protocol, huh?” San sighed too.
“The protocol sucks,” you groaned. “I’ll conduct my own investigation. Major Yeom did not know what state Agent Oscar had been in when we retrieved him- before we lost him. Why was he not aware? Do the rest know?”
“My job was to convey information to Sergeant Park,” Sergeant Kim raised a brow as he thought. “I don’t think he did that on purpose though.
“Ah. I forgot Sergeant Park is literally your best friend-”
“No, that’s not it,” Sergeant Kim laughed. “He must have told them that Oscar was held hostage and questioned before you retrieved him. Maybe he didn’t go into the details.”
“Maybe Major Yeom lied,” San pouted. “I trust Sergeant Park for some reason.”
“You trust everyone,” you retorted and San sulked further, sinking down into the couch. “Come on, Sergeant, we need to make a decision.”
“Let’s start with Squad 6- I’ll talk with Sergeant Park,” he decided. “He must be suspicious too with how things have been recently. But you two
 try not to make it too obvious, okay?”
You and San burst into a chorus of ‘as if’ and ‘you’re the most obvious one’ and Sergeant Kim decided to see himself out. You started gathering the documents, glancing once more at Major Yeom’s file. San gave your shoulder a comforting squeeze and you decided to trust your captain, relaxing into San’s touch.
—-------------------------
The sound of the alarm ringing loudly enough to wake the dead up had to be the most horrible sound you had ever heard in your life.
It had only played once before and it was a memory you wished you would forget- even now, for a few moments, you remained in your bed blinking and wondering if you were dreaming. It wasn’t until you heard the radio announcement that you got up abruptly and moved to grab your bulletproof vest and jacket, grabbing every weapon you had in your room, because-
The base was under attack.
It had only been a mere two days since your last mission, since Sergeant Kim and Park started investigating their squad members in secret. You wondered if it was somehow linked to their investigation- it had to be. As soon as you were prepared, you went outside, greeted by the rush of soldiers donning their jackets or loading their weapons. Amidst all the chaos, you spotted San and rushed towards him, holding his hand and squeezing it.
“Oh, you’re here,” he gave you a brief hug. “You’re thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Yeah, we need to find Sergeant Kim or Sergeant Park,” you said and he nodded, looking around once and dragging you into a corner. 
“Listen- I just asked and it’s not looking good. The enemy chose a direct attack this time and the Left Wing is compromised already. How’s your leg?”
“It’s good, San, don’t worry,” you assured him, and it was the truth. “There was a reason I joined the previous mission. You don’t need to worry about me.”
“I can’t help it,” he smiled, kissing your forehead. “Let’s go then. We have no time to waste.”
You nodded and the two of you started asking around for Sergeant Kim, knowing he wouldn’t be in his office but out fighting. Major Han spotted you both and dragged you to the weapons room-
“I’ve been charged with making sure you gear up like proper soldiers, and for exactly this reason,” she shook her head at the lack of helmet and equipment. “Sergeant Kim has put me in charge of leading our squad in his absence, so turn on your radios and follow me. The rest are waiting with him.”
You and San stifled your scoffs and wore the helmets, Major Han slapping you both on the neck and checking your gear, inquiring about your leg. She sighed, “We’ve already reported three casualties on the Left Wing. We will be in charge of driving them out, understood? Follow me.”
Your blood boiled at the number and you gripped your sniper as you made way to the Right Wing- the exit that your squad frequently used. As you reached closer, the sound of gunshots and soldiers shouting got louder. You spotted your members and Squad 6 ready and waiting, the Sergeants in a corner talking in hushed voices. As soon as Sergeant Kim spotted you both, he signalled and you both joined him.
“We’re waiting for orders from the Lieutenant before we go to help at the Left Wing- but I’m going to task you both for another mission. Sergeant Park?”
Sergeant Park nodded. “Major Yeom is missing. We have high suspicions to believe that he is the one who has been updating the enemy. He must have left earlier to either join them or hide. I need you both to find him and bring him back alive, is that understood?”
“Yes, Sergeant!” you both nodded. 
“I’m not entrusting my squad because of obvious reasons and sympathy factor, but Sergeant Kim here says you both are perfect for the job. Prove it.”
“And please stay safe, both of you,” Sergeant Kim huffed. “Don’t give me another heart attack. My lifespan has already decreased a good amount thanks to the two of you.”
San stifled a grin and you asked, “Do you have any suspects for who exactly Major Yeom might be providing information too? Or did you ever find out information on the man with the tattoo?” You recalled the man you had encountered while saving Agent Oscar.
“We believe it might be a group within the enemy, one specified to be spies,” Sergeant Kim said. “We haven’t seen it before, so we can’t say much. It’s only speculation.”
“Understood. We’ll take our leave then,” you said and the Sergeants nodded, making sure you had enough weapons before instructing you to find Squad 4 in the control room and start from there. You stayed on your toes the entire time, scanning everyone who crossed your path, looking for signs of anything suspicious because if Major Yeom had defected

There could very well be others. 
You reached the control room and the Sergeant let you in, already having heard from Sergeant Kim and Park. He guided you both to the CCTVs and you got a good look at what was going on- the soldiers were still fighting against the enemy at the Left Wing and the enemy was trying to push its way inside or circle around to the Right Wing. It looked ugly. San went to monitor what was happening inside and for a while you both stood observing the base until San spotted a few of the enemy soldiers squeezing their way inside. The Sergeant immediately alerted Squad 5 to take care of it and you both decided to check the unmonitored rooms for Major Yeom. 
“Shall we check the basement first? Or keep it for the end?” You asked.
“The basement can be accessed from outside too, right?” San asked, pausing to think. “Shall we look at the dorms first? Divide and conquer?”
“Sure,” you nodded, getting anxious. You were short on time- you needed to join your squad back at the Right Wing too. “Check the dorms first, meet outside. And then the offices, the weapon rooms, and let’s go to the basement together after?”
“Sure. you take the offices, I’ll take the weapon rooms,” San said and you both agreed, splitting immediately after connecting your radios.
About an hour passed by as you checked each level, meeting by the staircase with a confirmation of ‘all clear’. You found nothing and San informed Sergeant Kim about going to check the basement. Sergeant Kim told him to make it quick and meet him at the Right Wing. 
As the two of you descended into the eerie silence of the basement, a part of you wondered if this search was just a waste of time- why would Major Yeom be in the basement? He could have exited amidst this chaos at any time- or done whatever he needed to. The basement only contained storage rooms with the archives and some exit routes- but exit routes were more easily accessible on the ground level, so why would the enemy be there?
“You take the right side, I’ll take the left,” San said when you reached down. You nodded and patted his arm before parting ways, aiming your gun as you started checking the rooms- empty, empty, yet another empty room-
And then the sound of footsteps that did not belong to San.
You hid behind a shelf, trying to calculate the distance- it seemed like the person was going further away from you. You dared to take a peak and frowned at the sight of someone in the same uniform as yours, walking at high alert with their gun aimed and ready-
It was Squad 6’s badge. It had to be Major Yeom.
You started following him silently, not even daring to breathe any louder than necessary, and when the Major went inside one of the rooms, you quickened your pace and took a look inside that room-
He was alone and it looked like he was looking for something. He was searching through the files- for what?
You took a deep breath and entered the room with your gun pointed at the Major. “Hands up, drop your weapons, now.”
The Major froze, glancing at you once, not daring to turn. “Major Seo. I can explain-”
“Drop your weapons, now,” you seethed, stepping closer as he dropped his gun to the ground, the metal meeting the floor with a clang. You buried the muzzle of your gun in his back before ordering him to exit the room. The Major knew better than to disobey you and took slow and steady footsteps as per your instructions until you had him pinned to the wall so you could signal San.
“Charlie, I’ve got the mole,” you said into the radio, waiting for a response but when 10 seconds passed and you got none, you grabbed the Major’s collar and started steering him to the direction San had gone into earlier.
“Charlie? I need a response,” you called, panic starting to bubble in your heart. “Charlie, this is Echo, can you hear me?”
You wondered if his silence was because he found something or was in a situation where he needed to be silent- you simply prayed it was only that. However, having scoured the basement and finding no signs of San, you slammed the Major against the wall and dug your gun in his back. “Who was with you here?”
“No one-”
“Choose your answer carefully, I will not hesitate to shoot you down,” you warned and the Major scoffed. 
“I bet Sergeant Park wants me back alive.”
“He never said anything about you being unharmed, though,” you started dragging your gun down his thigh and Major Yeom groaned.
“Fine, there is someone. You should check the exit.”
“Take the lead,” you gave him space to walk, still holding him by his collar as he led you to the room at the other end of the basement- a storage room with one of its bookshelves now pushed away from the wall, behind which a door was slightly ajar.
“What were you trying to find in the archives?” You asked, nudging him to go ahead inside the passage. 
“I don’t know-”
“Like hell you don’t,” you entered the path, the smell of damp mud hitting you right away and you turned on the light on your helmet.
“I was only instructed to retrieve a specific document, which wasn’t even present there,” Major Yeom clicked his tongue in disappointment. “Look, I’ve got nothing against you- I know you’re following orders. But you really shouldn’t go to the end of this path.”
You didn’t stop walking. “I need to find Major Choi.”
“If he’s got Major Choi, you can forget about him-”
That was your last straw- you slammed the Major into the wall and dug your arm into his neck, your hand almost shaking as you pointed the gun at his temple. “Who?”
Major Yeom tried retaliating but you were quicker and you kicked his ankle harshly, effectively making him drop to his knees as you pointed your gun at his head. “I’ve had enough- your colleagues are dying out there fighting the enemy, Major Yeom. Just what have you gotten yourself into?”
“Are you sure they’re the enemy? Eden? We haven’t been saints either,” he scoffed, spitting on the ground. “You talk about principles and morals but where were your morals when you abandoned your colleagues when some mission went wrong, huh?”
Your heart sank. “If this is about Oscar, I did not abandon him-”
“Not him,” he shook his head. “The others. You and Major Choi
 you go back for each other, disobeying every protocol and you get an applause. Why did no one go back for Major Lee?”
You frowned. “I’m pretty sure Sergeant Park eventually went back for him. As for Major Choi and I
 you don’t know anything.”
“Sergeant Park never went back for him- or if he did, he didn’t try hard enough. Do you have any idea what they did to Major Lee?”
“Major Lee is dead,” you almost cried. “Forget about the past- why are you doing this now, huh? Who’s ordering you?”
“He’s not dead-”
“Stand back and drop your weapons, now.”
You froze- how did you not hear someone coming when even your hushed voices were echoing? Was the person already present and listening to your conversation? With the feeling of dread clouding your mind, you took a step back from Major Yeom and glanced up-
To see a masked man holding San at gunpoint.
And fortunately enough, Major Yeom took your stepping back as a sign to stand up and you did the first thing you thought sensible- mirror that masked man and hold Major Yeom at gunpoint. Major Yeom groaned as the muzzle of your gun buried painfully in his temple but you ignored it and glared at the man, trying not to meet eyes with San.
“So you’re the one who’s been ordering Major Yeom around, huh?” You asked. “Let go of Major Choi and I’ll let go of your man.”
The man’s deep laugh echoed through the passage. “Not that simple. You will obey every order I give you or else your Major Choi won’t live to see the sunrise.”
Something shattered in you at that moment as you recalled San’s words- “I wish to see the rest of my sunrises with you”. You finally dared to look at San, now rid of his helmet with a few bruises across his face. He shook his head subtly as if to say ‘do what you’re being told’ but you remained frozen in your spot.
“Take off your helmet. Let me see who you are,” the man ordered. You kept ahold of Major Yeom and removed your helmet, your jaw clenched painfully. You aimed the gun back at the Major and the man shook his head. 
“Drop your weapon and step away from him, Major Seo.”
Once again, you were surprised- just who was he? He must have seen the confusion on your face and he finally removed his mask-
It was Major Lee.
“Why?” was all you could ask. Major Lee only shook his head.
“You will not understand how it is like to be abandoned by your own people. And for what? For nothing,” he tsk-ed. “Do you remember that mission, Major? Do you remember how we marched into the enemy territory because we were going to retrieve stolen data? There was no stolen data,-”
“Major Lee, please listen to me,” you pleaded. “We’re soldiers. We obey orders. It is not our duty to question it- we’re only given orders. We don’t even know what we retrieve, you may be right, but
 if you have a problem with it, you should take it to the Headquarters or I don’t know
 the General, the higher-ups, anyone but us. So please let go of Major Choi, at least. Your fight is not with us.”
“You will let go of Major Yeom and step back,” his voice was cold and you shut your eyes in defeat. “And then I will decide what to do with Major Choi.”
“Major Lee-”
“Now!” He hit San with the grip of his gun on his forehead, instantly making you drop your gun with an ‘okay, okay!’ and you took a few steps back until Major Lee grunted in approval. “Kneel and face backwards.”
“Please let go of Major Choi-”
“Don’t make me do something you will regret,” he warned. “I will let go of him, but not right now. Kneel and face backwards- and you will count 100 seconds before you take one step. If I hear you, he dies, understood?”
You nodded through tears, looking at San once who only passed you a reassuring smile. You did as you were told and counted 1, hearing the footsteps fade and by the time you counted to 100, you had stopped sobbing and instead, anger- hot, boiling hot anger clouded all sense of rationality. You stood up and grabbed your gun and began running towards where they had taken Major Choi, praying he was okay all the while. But you reached the end of the passage which exited near the Right Wing and found no signs of Major Yeom and Major Lee. 
No signs of Choi San.
You took a deep breath, surveying the area- you could hear the sounds of a fight to your left so you reckoned Major Lee must have avoided that and gone in the opposite direction. You started marching to your right, taking out the radio that connected you to Sergeant Kim.
“Alpha, this is Echo, please respond. Alpha?”
You continued treading along the building for a few seconds which was when your radio sounded. “Alpha responding.”
“The mole and the rat have escaped with Charlie. I am going to retrieve Charlie. Awaiting no further orders.”
“Echo, halt where you are. I will join you-”
“I do not have the time, Sergeant,” you seethed into the radio, ditching all formalities. “They took him, okay? Major Lee took him and he feels betrayed by all of us. I don’t know what he will do to him, I need to save him.”
There was a few seconds of silence and you spotted movement towards the gate- two or three figures. It had to be them. You started running towards them, hearing the sound of a jeep in the distance and you ran faster, trying to make it in time but you would never make it- you took off the sniper from your shoulder and started shooting towards the men getting in the car but it was no use- you were too far away. The jeep took off, leaving you all alone in the middle of the abandoned post and you fell to your knees, trying to control your unsteady breathing and shake off the ringing in your ears realising later that Sergeant Kim was repeatedly calling your name into the radio.
“They got away,” you breathed, unable to control your sobs this time. “They’ve taken him.”
“Where are you?”
“The abandoned post,” you looked around. “I need to go-”
“Stay where you are,” he ordered. “I’m coming to get you. The fight is almost over anyway.”
You buried your head in your arms as you knelt on the ground, your mind already hyperfunctioning as it planned all possible routes they could have taken, all possible spots they could be going to. All you knew was you would have to go to Eden all alone and retrieve him at all costs. But you couldn’t help the fear and the dread, because something like this had never happened- not to him, at least. You had been taken by force once and San had disobeyed all orders and marched into the enemy territory to retrieve you-
And you would do the same for him. 
You did not realise how long you spent kneeling and planning through the utter pain of processing just what happened and the fear for San’s life when you heard a number of footsteps and you finally looked up to see not only Sergeant Kim but Major CJ and Major Yu.
“Oh, dear,” Major Yu shook her head at your state and knelt down, enveloping you in a hug. “It’s going to be okay. We will go back for him, okay?”
You nodded, breaking away and looking at Sergeant Kim who looked like he could pass out right there. “It’s Major Lee- I spotted his tattoo too, on the wrist. He’s the one who’s been sabotaging our missions, and I don’t know what he’s planning to do now. He said something about how our missions are baseless or something, I don’t know,” you sighed. “He has a problem with how things are being run. And now he’s taking it out on us.”
“I have a problem with how things are run here too,” Sergeant Kim sounded pissed. “But that does not mean I betray my people and side with the enemy for some petty revenge- even if something happens. We will go back for Major Choi, okay? But first you need to come back and plan-”
“I have no time to waste,” you shook your head fiercely. “You can join me later or not at all, for all I care, but I am leaving right now. I just need more weapons and I’m good-”
“Major Seo-”
“I cannot let anything happen to him!” You almost shouted, looking at Major Yu or Major CJ for help- surely they understood. “I finally, finally learned to live with myself and learned to function like a normal human being, I
” you breathed. “You know me, Sergeant. You know that I cannot live without him- I- “ you laughed at the irony of the situation. “I swore to never be like my mother but here I am.”
Major CJ turned as if to process what was happening and realisation dawned on Major Yu’s face. Sergeant Kim knelt down next to you. “You’re the strongest person I know here, Major. But please, think with your head for once. Come back with me, gear up properly, plan this and then leave-”
“You can do all of that and join me later,” you gave the final verdict. “I am leaving right now- keep me updated on the radio. And give me all of your bullets and weapons, dammit.”
Major CJ sighed. “Let me come with you. You don’t have to do this alone.”
Sergeant Kim groaned. “You think I don’t want to save him? I have to follow protocol- I cannot allow two of you to disappear-”
“It doesn’t matter anymore- someone needs to keep her grounded, and I can do that,” Major CJ offered you a hand and you smiled, taking it. “You can both give us your weapons and go back to the base, prepare and follow us right after. It shouldn’t be a problem anymore.”
Sergeant Kim considered for a few seconds before finally giving in, taking out his guns and daggers and Major Yu did the same. You both docked yourselves up and made sure everything was working.
“This is the last time I’m allowing this,” Sergeant Kim warned and you rolled your eyes. “Bring that brat back. And both of you
 don’t get hurt. That is an order- come back alive.”
“Yes, Sergeant!” You both saluted and he told you both to hurry on, calling in the radio to order a car for you two. You looked ahead at the horizon, the sky already starting to lighten.
You prayed you would watch the sunrise once again and got in the car.
—---------------------------
Major CJ was proving to be quite the strategist. He was keeping the mood light, probably because you appeared tense enough to make up for him too, and you had to stop and appreciate him at one point, which he just shyly dismissed.
“I really don’t think a defected soldier will have much influence around there, so if they allowed Major Lee in the enemy base in Sector 1
 that’s the only place he might go if he’s still working with them. Even if he’s not, Sector 1 is a pretty good place to start-”
“Stop calling him ‘Major’,” you growled. “Call him the motherfu-”
“-until we get some visual or locate Major Choi by some miracle,” Major CJ finished saying. “And stop being angry- it’s only going to cloud your decisions.”
“Oh no, not me,” you scoffed. “Anger fuels me and keeps me alive.”
“Whatever helps you,” Major CJ passed you a weird look.
You were both in Sector 1 now, going through the connected passages just like you had on your previous mission here. You could spot the enemy base now and you prayed Major CJ’s instinct was correct- San had to be there. 
“Do you think we should negotiate with Major Lee or just
 go berserk?” Major CJ asked and when the radio responded before you, you realised he had asked the Sergeant too.
“Let Major Seo do whatever she wishes,” the Sergeant sighed loudly. “I’ll leave my post once she’s back. She should be the Sergeant since she can make all her decisions herself now-”
“Oh, please, I would not have waited for you back there if that was the case,” you muttered. “Don’t fuel me any further right now, Captain.”
“Whatever. Try to negotiate first and see if you can get him to come back.”
“Permission to shoot otherwise? If things don’t look bright?”
“In case he tries to harm any of you, permission to shoot is granted,” Sergeant Park’s voice sounded. “For Major Yeom too. He is a defected soldier- his case must be handled differently from Major Lee because we thought him dead.”
“Copy that,” Major CJ responded. “Stepping within a 2 mile radius into the enemy base
 now.”
You took the lead, Major CJ providing cover and you couldn’t help but be reminded of San. Gritting your teeth and steeling your nerves, you loaded your guns and went into stealth mode-
And all hell went loose.
Major CJ was strong in every sense- he naturally took the lead as you eliminated guard after guard, forcing your way inside through a back door. And unsurprisingly, Major CJ was depending on his fists more in close combat and you would finish it off with bullets. You wondered if you two were syncing better because you were both fueled with the same purpose- to retrieve Major Choi.
“To the basement,” you motioned towards the stairs. “They keep the hostages there unless they’re being questioned.”
“They should have changed locations by now,” Major CJ flexed his arms, having suffocated one of the soldiers. “If Major Lee is in there
 he’s pretty fucking stupid.”
You grinned, covering for him as you both went downstairs, this time shelling the guards first before gunning them down. You told Major CJ to hold his own while you checked the rooms, finding one empty room after another-
Nothing. He wasn’t in the basement.
With pure adrenaline fuelling you now, you lead Major CJ upstairs to the same level you had found Agent Oscar on, shooting in succession at anyone who dared to cross your path, not caring if you hit a vital spot anymore- they had done enough damage tonight too. You hurried along the corridor towards the rooms at the end and spotted San tied to a chair, his head hanging down. You almost stepped inside the room but paused-
There had to be someone else in the room.
You glanced at Major CJ and nodded before pushing the door open with your foot and as soon as you spotted movement against the wall, you pointed your gun in that direction and shot at the lower region, successfully hitting Major Yeom in the thigh who shot reflexively at you in return but he was slower- you kicked his gun away and held him at gunpoint once again.
“That was quick,” he seethed through the pain.
“You took my partner, of course I was quick,” you hit his head with the grip of your gun, making him groan louder. “Where’s that bastard?”
“He knew you would come here,” Major Yeom spat. “He’s got plans for you-”
“Oh no, he hasn’t,” you grinned. “Major Lee got some abandonment issues, huh? He must have thought no one would come back for Major Choi. But did he ever think our squads would retaliate against his actions? Your colleagues will be joining soon, Major.”
Major Yeom paled. “They wouldn’t have allowed you to-”
“That’s the thing- Major Lee made it pretty clear what he was expecting, and all we had to do was the opposite. Sergeant Park is not pleased at two of his members defecting. You do know how he gets when he’s angry, right? He’s on his way here right now, so I’ll let him take care of you.”
Major CJ joined and told you that the rest of the members were already here. You allowed yourself to relax while he took care of Major Yeom and you walked to San, untying the ropes on his wrists and kissing his knuckles.
“Major Choi. Can you hear me?”
He did not respond. You figured he must have been drugged to unconsciousness. You held his face, tucking his hair back and examining the bruises there and then the rest of his body- at least he was unharmed. You bent down and with the help of Major CJ, you propped his body on your back, deciding to carry him out while Major CJ provided cover. A sense of relief started to wash over you as you made your way out, your members and Squad 6’s members passing smiles because as Sergeant Kim said when he joined you on this mission, some protocols really needed to change. It was high time and considering how Major Lee felt about his situation and Major Yeom joined him, they must have felt abandoned- perhaps for the right reasons. You had often felt that too, though you were lucky enough to have San as your partner who always had your back and broke protocols and disobeyed orders again and again for you. And the thought scared you- that if not for him, you might have turned into Major Lee too.
You exited the base and hopped into the car waiting for you, Major CJ helping you lay him down across the seat and you checked San’s pulse and monitored his breathing- he was okay. 
Major CJ said he was going to help the rest and left you and San alone in the car. The adrenaline started to wear off and with trembling hands, you examined the rest of his body for any signs of injuries, finding none and relaxing once again, resting your head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat while you waited for him to wake up. You shut your eyes, not sure if the sound in your ears was the sound of San’s heart or your own. 
You didn’t realise how tired you were until you felt a hand caress your head, tucking your hair behind your ears. You found yourself unable to open your eyes, a stream of fresh tears falling down on San’s jacket. His warm fingers wiped the tears away, caressing your cheek softly. 
“Won’t you look at me?”
You only buried your face in his chest, silently crying. San let you be for a few moments before he couldn’t take it anymore and nudged you to face him, seating himself up. You finally opened your eyes and let out a relieved laugh. San smiled in response, wiping your face with his sleeve. 
“You have no idea how much it hurts me to see you cry.”
“I’m crying because of you,” you said, sniffing. “Do you have any idea how scared I was?”
“I’m sorry,” he kissed your forehead, lingering. “I’m so sorry-”
“No, it’s not your fault,” you told him, cupping his face. “I’m just so glad that you’re okay, so glad,” you said, pecking his lips. “I was so scared-”
San captured your mouth in a kiss as a form of an apology and you took it, letting his hand guide you as he deepened the kiss. You fisted his shirt in one hand, the other finding his and intertwining with it. San broke away, your breaths lingering and you reached in to hug him, burying your face in the crook of his neck- your favourite spot. San caressed your back, holding you as close as he could. 
“You came back for me, huh?” San shook his head at the insanity of it. “Do you realise just what you did? Did you march here alone?”
“I almost did, but CJ joined and then the rest did- even Squad 6,” you told him, breaking away so you could look at him. “Captain wouldn’t let me go alone.”
“He’s always like this,” San laughed. “But you- you shouldn’t have been so reckless-”
“Says who? At least I had the others join later. You marched into enemy base alone to get me back 3 years ago-”
“That was different-”
“Yes, but that was more reckless,” you slapped his arm. “And anyways, I would have done this for you. You know I would have come for you. It’s a miracle I found you this quick.”
San caressed your face. “Even if we were not
 like this?”
“We’ve always been in love, though,” you said and San caught your confession in it. “And I have realised now
 love is supposed to be a strength, not a weakness.”
San glanced outside, the sky glowing a beautiful pastel now and spotted the Sergeants collecting their members and arresting Major Lee and Major Yeom. When you counted the rest of your members, all safe and sound, you relaxed into San’s arms. The enemy was stupid to attack your base- of course you would have retaliated. San kissed your forehead. “We lived to see the sunrise yet again.”
“I wish to see the rest of my sunrises with you too,” you said and San smiled. You sealed that promise with a kiss.
To a better future. 
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wild-magic-oops · 1 year ago
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Personally I love both of Gale's romance scenes in Act 2 for different reasons, but people who say the regular one is the correct choice - I have to disagree. And my reasons are also why my canon choice is the Astral scene.
At the time of the scene Gale still thinks this would be his last night alive. He wants to give Tav his very best, to show his love in what he considers the most expressive way possible for him at the moment. He wants the night to be perfect. And magic is an integral and important part of his life, so it's natural that he wants to share that as well.
His love language is acts of service after all, and that's important. And this is what he's doing with the Astral scene. It's not about him trying to prove his usefulness once again, but an act of love instead. The Astral scene is him pouring his heart and soul into it, giving Tav his best bc he thinks they're worth it. It's important to him that it happen that way bc Tav is important to him. And if this is their one and only time together, he wants it to be the best possible.
Yes, telling him he's enough as he is, and making him believe that is the focal point of his romance. Making him learn to separate his magic from his self-worth is important as well. But there are times for that. And they're not the first night together imo.
Choosing the normal scene to me is not so much showing him that he's enough as he is, as it is refusing his enthusiasm to share himself with Tav the way he wants. In other words - imo it's ultimately about what Tav wants, and not what Gale needs.
For me the Astral scene is preferable bc it's more about Gale. He has issues with self-worth but letting him show Tav his best and impress them is not a bad thing and would not feed into his issues. Imo it's important to him to be given the chance to show off, especially bc his powers have been significantly reduced by the orb. And after he does, after he shows devotion and love to Tav, then it's the time to show that in return, and love him for who he is. But let him wow you first.
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scottxlogan · 3 months ago
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Helllloooozzz I got really into scogan recently and because people never tag it it’s been hard to find domestic family fics for them and family fics are my favourite thing like, ever, and there’s only so many times a kitty like me can attempt to sift thru the mpreg tag to find something readable before it’s noggin goes a bit loose, so have ya got any recs ?? ^w^ I’ve looked up so many rec lists but no one lists family fics specifically :’3
Welcome to the fandom! You'll find a lot of really nice people here who will be able to point you in the direction of what you're looking for as there are some who probably know better than I do. If you're looking to chat with other fans there's a Scogan Events discord at https://discord.gg/FmJ24gFJ6X that takes part in a Scogan related bingo for writing, art, etc and other small events all year long. Plus, there's some great people to chat about Scogan with too if you're looking to interact with others who love the ship.
As for recs, I'm going to throw this out here for some of my followers to see if they have some favorites that might help you find what you're looking for. Off hand I know that Tweedle has written a few family fics with Scogan. They're up at her AO3 page at https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiAnLake/. In terms of my own stories, I know I've done a few and I'll list them below. I'm sure I'm missing some, but if anyone else has some recs/suggestions, please help me out here and add them for @beepmeowz if you can.
My fics (off hand that I can think of them. Not all are domestic fluff, but I'm sure some of my followers here can help out with the list of family stories)
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Working It Out (One Shot/Rated T) Logan's stressed after finding Laura with a new companion who wants to be more than friends. Scott does his best to calm his husband down after Logan tries to follow Scott's approach to parenting.
Gone Forever (Multi-Chapter/Rated E) After the events of The Wolverine, Logan goes on a journey of his own to discover truths about the life he put behind him. An accident, a run in from a face from his past and a misunderstanding lead him closer to the truth he'd been seeking out, but will it be the key to his ending or his happily ever after? (This story features Scott as a single parent to a young Nathan as Logan finds himself finding love and embracing the family that was always just out of his reach)
Saturday Morning (One Shot/Rated G) Logan takes a moment to reflect on the blessings he's been given in his life.
We're All Different Now (One Shot/Rated M) When a mysterious woman from the future enlists Logan's help to change the past by saving Charles Xavier's life, Logan finds himself back in time at a pivotal place in time. With his mission to save Charles in mind Logan finds himself distracted by his feelings for Scott Summers, a man he loved and lost years before Logan was given a second chance to make things right. Armed with the mission to change only the fate of Charles and nothing else, Logan is torn between doing what was asked of him and following his heart to find a way to make things right with the one man he'd been forced to face a lifetime without the first time around. Will the second time around prove to be a means of repairing the damage that was done or will Scott and Logan's ill-fated romance repeat the same pattern with disastrous consequences?
And finally this one is a WIP series with a one shot and a multichapter, but it doesn't have a lot of family stuff yet as I have it still working out but it is a series that takes place after the movie Logan where Logan is still alive and finds his way back to Scott and Laura if you will.
It's up at
Scott makes a bold decision to resurrect his fallen lover, but in bringing Logan back to life, will it prove to be the key to saving the future or the key to destruction for humanity and mutants alike? How will Logan adjust to his return to a world that moved on in his absence?:
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freyjas-musings · 10 months ago
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Thank you so much for the response abt the bonus chapter💙
To clarify ⚠HOFAS AZ/NESTA/BRYCE BONUS SPOILERS AHEAD⚠
apparently since Azriel said he doesn’t have a mate in the bonus chapter Gwynriel is “debunked.” I feel like SJM included that just to show that Az doesn’t know yet, but it’s so interesting how different biases cause people to interpret the books differently.
I just wish people wouldn’t comment spoilers like that on posts not tagged as spoilers for the sake of argument
⚠ HOFAS SPOILERS⚠
Why would Az need a book if he has already found out who his mate is, is already in a relationship with her and has found growth and healing đŸ€” ?????
I would throw the world's biggest tantrum if I see his story happen off page 😅😅... So no thank you I will wait for his book.
The ACOTAR spin off's are based on individual couples getting together with an overarching plot . The Romance is central to the spin off books so it's never going to happen off page.
Just before someone says it's not true that SJM said that 😅😅😅
So, the obvious logic would be that an Azriel book would be about his journey, growth and healing with a Gwynriel romance and also have a connecting plot with plot lines ,if I were to guess it would illyrian and autumn and some connected to Nesta.
If anything the Az , Nesta and Bryces bonus establishes the following things:
1. The shadows aren't evil , they haven't disappeared. They are very much his companions as they always were and as they always will be ( SJMs words from Azriels bonus ACOSF) . They are wilder similar to that of Cormac from CC , they truly are Azriels companions.
2. They don't react to all music, as evidenced by the lack of a reaction when Bryce plays music on her phone. They only react to Azriel's voice, and dancing or singing is a playful positive thing and they dance to Gwyn( they danced with her breath as though they heard a silent music which in my opinion the mate bond, SJM described the bond as the song between mates souls) . There by proving they are indeed mates!!!!
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3. Azriel's mother is alive , he doesn't still talk about her but he loves her and is fiercely protective of her. It would be an important part in his healing and journey. Thereby further solidifying that his book is NEXT.
There are a lot more plot points I shall pull up once everyone has access to the book about why it's definitely going to be Azriels book.
Also, the sleeping beauty non sense based on stone mother and glass coffin is the worst reach ever , I can write why it's wrong on so many levels but I would be adding spoilers that aren't from the bonus and I don't want to do that.
All I will say is that the sleeping beauty reach was worse than Bread and Roses , I don't know how they keep outdoing their own levels of idiocy so well .
Sorry the answer was long but I would rather be thorough đŸ€—
AND THATS WHAT YOU MISSED ON GLEE
(You cool kids will need to tell me if I said it right 😅)
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the7thcrow · 2 years ago
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Not all that Glitters is Gold -> 09
series pairing: (fem) princess!reader x seonghwa x san x wooyoung. eventual polyamory.
series masterlist | previous chapter
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Part Nine: indignation, drasilisks, and a nail in the coffin.
series rating: 16+
series genre: action and adventure. romance. angst. fluff. suggestive. fantasy au.
series warnings: character death, blood and violence, weaponry, injury, suggestive content, mxm content, elements of misogyny, language, monsters. (will only be using chapter specific warnings for things not included on this list.)
summary: as a princess fleeing a royal assassination attempt, you have no choice but to put your trust in a band of three thieves in order to reach the kingdom of kuroku alive. however, amongst magic, deceit, and the bounty hunters that are hot on your trail, you realize that you might have stumbled upon a relationship far more complicated than what meets the eye.
chapter details beneath the cut ->
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wc: 14.0k
extra chapter warnings: n/a
chapter summary:
“Maybe we should take a step back and-” you start, but Woo cuts you off.
“Butt out, Libaiyan,” Woo says immediately, even if he does not look at you. “This isn’t your business.”
“It is her business,” San replies. “She’s just as wrapped up in this as the rest of us are.”
a/n: surprise! i'm still on semi-hiatus until the end of the school year, but i’m currently on my reading week break so i had a bit of down time. really been missing this story and these characters. hope you all enjoy! <3
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Seonghwa and Woo will neither speak nor look at you, although considering everything both their eyes and lips could say, you should be more grateful than saddened by that fact.
The four of you walk in silence along the mountain pass, just as you have for the last couple hours. Although there’s been no more than a few words exchanged between the men of your party, none of them have been with you. In fact, you don’t believe your existence has been acknowledged since yesterday morning.
Woo takes charge up front, Seonghwa a few metres behind him, you following suit with the same after himself. San takes up the rear, singular horse in tow behind him.
You had to sell the other horse to the inn as payment for the damages caused by the fight, as well as in return for the supplies and luggage that they’d confiscated from your room. Woo tried to argue with the inn-keeper that Yeosang had attacked him first, but the bounty hunters had long-since left and the inn’s damage needed to be repaired. It was just business, but you could tell she felt a little bad when the boys dejectedly left the horse in the stable.
The result is the remaining horse being unrideable. The animal carries the luggage you’d previously split across the two of them, and wouldn’t be able to handle the extra weight. It’s left you with a far slower journey, time practically standing still between your walking pace and the thick tension hanging in the air.
You feel awful.
You've hardly slept since they’d found out the truth. One night having been spent in endless tears, with your knees planted in the fallen rain and mud. The other in your own tent, although the cold quietness of it served as a reminder of Seonghwa’s absence, and subsequently of your lies.
You managed to convince them to take you on the rest of the journey, less for your own sake and more for theirs. You’re almost through the Burovian Mountains, the minor kingdom of Bebbanburg being your last city before Kuroku. Even if the navigation would be a little difficult, you likely could have managed it yourself.
However, you know that reaching Kuroku alone would feel hollow, considering you’d leave them with nothing but San’s practical death sentence. You couldn’t just abandon them in such utter shambles, even if ultimately that would prove the easiest point of action for yourself. No promises to keep, nor extra strings attached to your arrival at the Kuroken castle.
You’ve grown too attached to these men, you know that.
They’ve become a weakness of the most dangerous kind. The type that you’re aware of is a fault, but rather than overcoming it, you continue to feed into its fragility. You came back for them, and you’re willing to deal with the ridicule and liability that may encompass.
You’ll do what it takes to make this up to them, even if you’ve tarnished every bit of trust you’ve built, and inevitably you’ll be leaving them for good no matter the outcome.
A weakness they are indeed, and feed into that fragility you will.
Fortunately, not every bit of hope is lost for your retribution. You told them of your situation, of your plan to ask the royal family if they will follow through with the betrothal. You’ve also sworn to beg them for the money regardless of whether or not they accept.
After all, Seonghwa had made the conditions of your return very clear: If you have a way to get them the money, come back. If you don’t, then don’t even bother.
“I know it’s not what we agreed upon. Not even close,” you had said, voice raspy and face puffy from having spent the night crying. “But there’s a chance, and I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if we didn’t at least try.”
“You shouldn’t forgive yourself anyway,” Woo muttered, before standing up from his seat at the fire and shouldering his way past you. Pulling back the tent-flap he slipped under without another word. They only set up one tent.
You glanced at Seonghwa, whose gaze wandered away at the mention of your betrothal. You weren’t sure if he was hurt by the marriage itself, or angry that you hid it from him. Likely a little bit of both. He wouldn’t meet your eye.
“Alright,” a voice said from your right. San stood by the horse, packing up the dry nuts and coffee from their breakfast that morning. He gave you a small, weak smile. “We’ll try.”
So you’re trying, although not everyone seems equally as enthused by your plan. While neither have said anything out loud, you know that Seonghwa and Woo aren’t happy with the arrangement, and would choose to head home if they were given the choice. But it’s not their decision, it’s San’s. He’s the one who needs the money, therefore it’s his choice whether to give you a second chance.
For some reason, he has. In fact, he didn’t even seem to contemplate it much, agreeing to continue the journey with no arm-twisting needed. While Seonghwa and Woo’s sense of betrayal reads blatantly in both their expression and behaviour, San's is far less obvious.
You cast a glance over your shoulder at the swordsman, who meets your eyes almost immediately. He gives you a tight-lipped smile.
You’re having a hard time understanding him. He has plenty of reason to hate you - the most reason, debatably, considering it’s his money on the line - and yet, he’s not treating you with any sort of animosity.
He doesn’t appear happy by any means, gaze a little vacant and demeanor overall quiet as you continue to trudge along, but he doesn’t appear crushed. You’d like to talk to him about it, to understand where his head is at, but you don’t feel as if you have the right. You have lost the privilege of having any of these men confide in you.
If he wishes to speak about it, then he will approach you. Let him decide that on his own terms, rather than your pestering curiosity.
Up ahead, Woo takes a sharp turn off the main path, causing Seonghwa to halt and jog after him.
“Woo?” Seonghwa calls. “This isn’t the right way.”
“Shortcut,” Woo replies plainly, not even bothering to slow down.
“Are you sure?” Seonghwa asks. “Because this trail doesn’t look very worn-”
“It’s heading South down the mountain, which is exactly where we need to go,” Woo interrupts, finally pausing as he points at how the trail descends. It’s narrower than the main path, as well as more twisted and steep. “It’ll save us some time, now that we’re reduced to finishing this on foot.”
He doesn’t look at you as he says it, but the annoyance in his tone shows it’s quite blatantly a shot at you.
You don’t want to quip back, having no interest in starting an argument, but the trail ahead appears less than ideal. Almost frightening, as it begins to darken with the shadows of bushy, low-hanging trees. Its descent is steep, not enough to cause you trouble, but likely some for the horse. It’s a gamble, and one you aren’t certain is wise to take.
“Are you sure that it’s safe?” You ask, trying to keep your voice level but also gentle, non-accusatory. “Or that it’s actually going to bring us closer to Bebbanburg?”
Woo starts walking again without answering you, and you don’t miss the way the ground cracks beneath his boot, fist clenched at his side. It tears through the trail, forming a foot-long divide between you and the two men in front of you. If Woo notices what he’s created, he doesn’t show it, simply keeps storming down the mountain.
Looks like there isn’t much of a discussion to be had. You cast a wary glance over at San. He shrugs, grip tightening on the horse’s reign as he too moves forward, although you note the way his jaw sets firm. He’s aware it’s not the best idea, but he’s also not about to contest Woo right now, especially not in an act of defiance against you.
You sigh, although you put up no form of protest. This is who you are to them now. A ghost, your voice a whisper in the wind. You are there to get them the money, just as you were prior, only now all the bridges of understanding you’d built have crumbled.
Swallowing your worry, you step over the divide before trailing after them. So be it, this is what you deserve.
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“Woo, we should turn back,” Seonghwa says, the fourth time he’s voiced his concern in the last hour.
This time, Woo answers him with a grunt rather than any assurance or rebuttal. He likely doesn’t feel inclined to try and convince Seonghwa that the trail is safe - again - or perhaps it’s finally dawning on him that this wasn’t a good idea.
The trail has become even more narrow and steep, and San fights to keep the horse at bay behind you, gravel slipping and sliding beneath the animal's hooves as it whinnies in protest.
Hours have passed since you first began your descent, and the sun has become a simmering ember over the horizon, darkness falling heavy around you. The tree’s are barren with blackened bark, twisting and curling around the trail. The wind blows between them sharply, a high whistling noise in contrast to the peaceful rustle of leaves along the main path.
Night is falling, and with the trail’s steep incline and the wind’s unyielding chill, there is no option to set up camp. You either continue to trudge on through the darkness and further into the unknown, or waste a few hours heading back towards comfortable safety. You believe it’s obvious which option is more wise.
The horse slides down behind you, letting out a high-pitched whine as the rocks slide around its hooves. “Shit,” San mutters, clutching onto its reins to try and hold the animal in place, despite it weighing almost a ton and having the ability to crush him.
This isn’t going to work. Should you even make it to Bebbanburg by morning, you’ll be exhausted from the night-long journey and forced to waste the day with rest. If you’re bound to waste time anyway, there’s no sense in risking the loss of another horse and having San crushed in the process.
“Woo, we need to turn around,” you say. It’s the second time you’ve spoken all day, and your voice is a bit raspy from lack of use. When Woo doesn’t respond, you clear your throat. “This isn’t a good trail. San’s about to get crushed by the horse and there’s nowhere to set up camp for the night. We don’t even know for sure if this is taking us to Bebbanburg, let’s just go back to the main path.”
“You don’t get a say, Libaiyan,” he replies, ignoring both you and your reasoning as he does not even bother to cast a glance over his shoulder.
Frustration settles within your chest and you swallow down a haughty response. He’s being stubborn, but not only that, he’s being stupid. Woo has to know by now that this wasn’t a good idea, but if it means agreeing with you on anything, he’ll let his pride drive the lot of you into the ground.
“This has nothing to do with me, it’s common sense,” you reply. You’re aware that picking a fight is not the best course of action, but you also have no interest in wandering in this cold and barren forest all night due to an elemental’s pride. “Don’t make everyone suffer because of your hatred for me.”
“Right, because I am the one making everyone suffer. That’s rich,” Woo spits, finally stopping in his pursuit down the mountain, turning to face you. His eyes scream bloody murder.
“That’s not what I meant,” you sigh. “What I was saying was-”
“What you were saying was that you think you still have any sort of influence here,” Woo cuts you off, taking a few steps up the trail, gravel sliding beneath his boots as he places himself in front of you. When he speaks he presses a finger to your chest, accusatory. “Let me make this clear. We are delivering you, we are getting our money, and then we are done. You aren’t a person, you aren’t a part of our party. You are cargo, you are baggage, you are a burden. You have no say.”
“Fine,” you say through gritted teeth, fist clenched at your side as you swallow down your pride. You remind yourself that he is hurt, that he is also the man who bore his soul to you at the fire only days ago. It’s hard to do this when he looks at you as if you are something vile stuck to the bottom of his shoe. “Then at least listen to Seonghwa when he tells you the exact same thing.”
Woo scowls, huffing as he turns to face Seonghwa. When he speaks his tone isn’t angry, but it’s certainly frustrated. “You really want to go back?”
Seonghwa's eyes widen, only slightly, as his gaze flickers between yours and Woo’s. It’s the first time he’s met your eye over the last two days, and it almost immediately darts away. He swallows hard.
“No. We can keep going,” Seonghwa answers, and amidst your internal groaning of annoyance, there is also hurt. Seonghwa wants to go back, he knows it’s the better option, and yet he only agrees with Woo because he cannot bear doing so with you.
Woo blinks at him, surprised, before nodding. “Alright then,” he says, turning back towards the trail. “We keep moving.”
“No,” a voice protests, and this time it is neither Seonghwa or yourself, but San. One of his hands grips the horse’s reins tightly, while the other is wrapped around the animal's neck, still trying to prevent it from slipping. “Don’t be petty. She’s right, we’re going back.”
Woo’s gaze darkens, and you aren’t sure if it’s from San calling him petty, or stating that you’re right. Likely both.
“We’re not being petty,” he argues, spitting the word out like a curse. “I think we have fair reason not to trust her judgement.”
“Then trust mine,” San says lowly. Getting a better look at him, he appears worn. A dark circle of tiredness having creeped beneath his eye, he breathes heavily, grip shaking around the reins in his hand. He’s been at this for hours, and it appears his patience has begun to waver. “You’re being a fool, and this is ridiculous. It’s my money on the line here, I think you should remember that.”
“Of course we’re aware of that, but-” Woo starts.
“Then don’t make the journey harder than it needs to be,” San cuts him off, tone cold. “Don’t make borderline moronic decisions that have me carrying a horse down a mountain, or that would have us stranded for the night. This isn’t your battle to fight.”
“You aren’t the only one she hurt. You think Seonghwa doesn’t feel-”
“I wasn’t talking to Seonghwa.”
The silence that hangs in the air is glacial. Frozen in time as the seconds tick by, unmoving as neither of the two men budge. Woo’s jaw is set firm, twitching as if he wants to say something, but does not permit himself to let the words out.
It dawns on you that San does not know how deeply you hurt Woo. He does not know the depths of his past, the horrors of orphanage. Woo had made you swear not to tell him.
It’s immediate, how the guilt settles in your gut, and you try to remedy the situation.
“Maybe we should take a step back and-” you start, but Woo cuts you off.
“Butt out, Libaiyan,” Woo says immediately, even if he does not look at you. “This isn’t your business.”
“It is her business,” San replies. “She’s just as wrapped up in this as the rest of us are.”
At this Woo’s gaze finally does shift, into a look of complete and utter bewilderment. He baulks at the swordsman, eyebrows drawing together in disbelief as his mouth drops open, stunned. “Are you actually defending her right now?”
“I’m not defending her, I’m just saying you aren’t thinking clearly about this-”
“Oh, of course. I’m not thinking clearly! Me, not the guy who’s taking the side of a woman who scammed him out of a fortune. Naturally, I’m the problem-”
“You guys
” Seonghwa starts, too quiet to be heard over their arguing, as both Woo and San’s voice begins to raise louder.
“It was my fortune to be scammed out of,” San cuts back, rolling his good eye as he lets out a groan of frustration. You aren’t sure if you’ve ever seen San lose his temper like this, but the height of his voice matches Woo’s, as does his ferocity. “For the sake of the god’s Woo, if I - the one with his life on the line - can put my feelings aside to finish the journey, you think you’d be able to.”
Woo laughs at this, a cold sound. “I think you aren’t putting your feelings aside, and that’s the problem. Being a little blinded, are we?”
San scowls at this, giving him an incredulous stare. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“You guys,” Seonghwa starts again, and this time his voice is louder. Hand falling to his side, you notice his fingers grip around the knife on his belt, and you frown. However, his words go ignored.
“Oh, you know what I’m talking about,” Woo answers, tone dripping with annoyance. “You think I didn’t notice the longing, puppy-dog glances in her direction since the sand village? Then she betrays us and you’re smiling at her, San. Honestly.”
San’s eye widens as his jaw drops open, stupefied. “For fucks sake Woo, you’re being jealous? Right now? Are you kidding me?”
“Right, because I’m the one who’s delusional-”
“You guys!” Seonghwa finally shouts, and the two men momentarily break out of their argument. Seonghwa pulls the knife from his belt, sinking down to crouch lower onto his knees, eyes darting between the trees above you.
Sensing the urgency in Seonghwa’s demeanor, both Woo and San silence themselves, matching the empath as they crouch downward. You follow suit, an eerie chill passing through you as Seonghwa presses a finger to his lips. The forest is quiet, as the only sound is the wind as it blows between the trees and their blackened bark.
“What is it, Hwa?” San asks quietly, casting him a wary glance. His hand extends up to reach his blade fastened along his back, fingers clutched around the hilt.
“Do you hear that?” Seonghwa whispers, and you tune your ears into the forest’s sound, listening closer. A few minutes pass by in silence, when you admit to yourself that no, you don’t hear anything.
You’re about to tell this to Seonghwa when you still do not hear it, but rather see it. Something big, black, and scaly slithering along the tree a few paces to your left, blending into the bark so that if you weren’t on guard, you never would have seen it.
It looks almost exactly like a branch blowing in the wind, as it ripples along the barren wood, a shadow in the night’s darkness. Creeping its way up along the trunk, it extends itself to reach another tree, traveling between them. It’s only now that you see it that you can hear what Seonghwa had noticed, the slick noise of the beast traveling, scratchy against the wood.
Out of the corner of your eye, another branch moves.
Twisting to face it, you watch as another one of the monsters creeps along the trees. You cannot see its eyes nor its fangs, but it’s clearly some sort of serpent. A few feet long and thick as rope.
You swallow the frightened gasp that settles itself in your throat as another branch to your right moves. Then to your left, and another beside it. They’re everywhere.
When you bring your gaze down, you don’t realize what you’re searching for until you meet Seonghwa’s eyes. This time he does not look away from you, swallowing hard as he holds your gaze. His lips purse together. He’s afraid.
“We’re being hunted,” he whispers, and Woo nods, looking up and around just as you had. Gaze darting back and forth, he’s tallying them, you realize.
“Eight of them, by my count,” the elemental says, keeping his voice low. “What are they?”
“Basilisks,” San answers, followed by an unsteady breath.
Woo shakes his head. “They’re too small.”
“Children. That's why there’s so many of them.”
Woo nods, jaw tense as he flexes his fists in and out, quelching the small flames that continue to reappear within his palms. You don’t think he can help it.
“What do we do?” Seonghwa asks, and San considers the question for a long moment before responding.
“If they’re Basilisks that means they’re also blind,” he whispers, nodding to himself as he speaks. “If we’re quiet enough, we should be able to flee.”
Sharing a glance between the four of you, one that shares a mutual understanding of caution, Seonghwa takes a step forward. The rocks within the gravel of the trail protest, a crunching noise echoing from beneath his boot. The Basilisks begin to slither a little faster, and Seonghwa winces.
He corrects his next step, the crunch of the gravel much softer as he makes his way down the trail. To go up now is futile, as attempting to maintain silence will be much harder if fighting against the falling rocks.
Woo takes a step after him, light on his feet, with you following suit. You extend a hand out to San, who accepts it, his other still gripping the horse’s reins.
Turning his attention to the horse, he bows his head, ushering it to follow him. However, without an audible order, the animal doesn’t understand the command, huffing in annoyance at its reins being tugged.
San winces at the loudness of the noise, looking over his shoulder at both Woo and San. “Do we leave him?” He asks, voice so hushed it’s barely audible.
After a moment they nod. San drops the reins, and the group of you tread slowly down the hill. The swordsman keeps his hand out-stretched to calm the horse, hoping it won’t make another noise.
Fortunately, it doesn’t.
Unfortunately, it follows instead.
The rocks of the trail crunching loudly beneath its hooves, it follows after you, before beginning to lose its footing as the gravel slides. The horse lets out a loud sort of squealing noise, before slipping down the trail.
It would have crushed you, if it weren’t for the three black blurs that came darting from the forest’s thicket. Each of them lodging itself within the horse - one in its neck and the other two within its torso - the animal goes stumbling into the bush, letting out a loud whine of pain that makes your gut clench.
It’s quickly quelled by fear, however, as loud hissing noises emit from all around you, the trees shaking as all of the snakes begin to move. Alerted by the noise, you watch as many of their tails stick up, a rattling motion.
You don’t know much about snakes, but it doesn’t take a genius to know that that can’t be a good sign.
San and Seonghwa both immediately begin to run, instinct taking over where yours appear to be lacking. Woo swears beneath his breath. “For fuck’s sake,” he mutters, reaching out to grab your arm, grip firm. “Run!”
Pulling you after him, you both take off down the trail, the sound of slithering following close behind. A black dart flies over your shoulder, and you can feel the air rush passed as the beast narrowly misses your ear.
“They can pounce!” You yell, dread curling within your stomach. “We can’t outrun them!”
None of the men respond, but Woo does look over his shoulder, before releasing your arm and holding his own out steady behind him. Maintaining his pace, he summons a ball of flame before throwing it at one of the Basilisks, which appears to be nothing more than a black line zig-zagging across the trail.
However, instead of hitting the monster, Woo’s ball of fire is cut off.
By the beast's own flame.
The snake’s jaw falls open, sharp fangs glinting even in the darkness, and from its gaping mouth comes a large stream of burning orange heat. The flames collide with Woo’s own, diminishing it.
“Oh, shit,” Woo says, eyes wide. He turns forward again, shouting towards Seonghwa and San. “They may be blind, but they sure as hell aren’t Basilisks!”
San casts a glance over his shoulder to see what Woo is talking about, letting out a gasp as the beast begins to spit another stream of flame towards you. Woo blows it back in the opposite direction with a gust of wind, but the snake merely slithers through the flame, letting out an agitated hiss as it remains unscathed.
“Fuck, they’re fire-proof too!” Woo observes, quickening his pace as his adrenaline sparks higher. There appears to be fear in his eyes, genuine, an emotion you aren’t sure you’ve ever seen on him. “What should we do?”
“She’s right, we can’t outrun them,” San answers, hand drifting to the hilt of his blade. His sprint suddenly settles into a jog, and you nearly crash into him, stumbling as you maneuver yourself around him. “We only have one choice.”
When San unsheathes his sword, he twists around with it. A blur of motion, one of the snakes pounces forward, flying towards him with its mouth open and long fangs on display. It moves at lightning speed, like a black shadow whirling through the air.
San slices it clean in half.
The snake falls into two separate pieces on both sides of him, a thick black liquid oozing from where its body had been severed. It smells rancid, like something rotten as it spreads across the forest floor, acidic as the pebbles begin to sizzle and melt.
The other snakes chasing you begin to slow, as they dart themselves into the forest. You can still see them, as none of the bushes or trees have leaves to hide them. The blackened bark suddenly makes sense, the area over-run by the fire-breathing monsters.
You’d think it would have been nice for someone to have put a sign before the trail, warning of a flame-spitting-snake-monster breeding ground. Then again, perhaps nobody has survived to make note of one. Your stomach sinks at the thought.
A large stream of fire flies towards San, and the swordsman narrowly dodges it by twisting it to the left. Another blast of flame shoots out at him, and San ducks, the flames an inch away from searing his scalp.
San grits his teeth in annoyance, gaze darting around at the many snakes surrounding you. “Woo, can you ensure their flames won’t hit me?”
“But there’s so many of them-” Woo protests, although he’s quickly silenced by San casting him a glare, one that says: “I wasn’t asking if it would be easy.”
The elemental sighs, before shaking out his hands and shoulders. “I can do it.”
“Good,” San states, before bending low on his knees, standing light on the balls of his feet. Battle stance. “Then let’s work.”
When San begins to move, all the praise that Seonghwa had been spewing about him is immediately proven wrong.
It never even came close to illustrating the man’s skill.
San moves with an uncontested quickness, traveling through the air as if he were a part of it. His sword swings and twists as if it were its own being, an object cursed with a vengeance to destroy anything within its path.
The snakes fly at San from every angle, attracted to the sound of gravel crunching beneath him as he moves and parries between their attacks.
A snake springs from behind him, and San twists to avoid it without even a glance backwards. Meanwhile, another comes at him from his left, and despite being in the middle of a complicated twisting maneuver away from the other, he manages to swing at the beast through the motion.
He slices yet another snake in half, as Woo preoccupies himself with preventing San from having to also worry about their flames. The elemental keeps his hands outstretched, eyes darting between the monsters, watching for when their jaws drop open. It’s at lightning speed, reflexes nearly cat-like as Woo redirects their fire away from San. The monsters hiss in displeasure.
The sound of hissing slowly dies out as both the elemental and the swordsman master the beasts. San takes them down one by one, the black corrosive liquid in replacement of blood oozing thick across the forest floor.
You simply watch. Seonghwa stands next to you, rendered equally as useless considering his bow and arrows were left with the horse. Besides, you imagine that shooting one of these beasts would be nearly impossible, anyway. You consider trying to help with your own sword, but you’d likely be getting more in San’s way than actually assisting him.
You cast Seonghwa a glance, although he doesn’t meet it. His eyes are focused on San, jaw dropped open ever so slightly, watching the swordsman fight in awe. He does not look away.
San slays the final snake, breathing heavily as the monster tumbles to the ground. It looks far less menacing now, immobile and coated in black ooze and dirt.
“Let’s go get our supplies,” San says quietly, holding no sort of pride or glory at the impossibility he accomplished. He just looks tired.
In silent agreement, the four of you begin to walk back up the path. Towards their horse, which is surely dead. Another gone, and although you feel for them, you’re at the very least glad that this time you are not at fault.
San stops.
Unprepared, you run into him, bumping your nose against his back. “What are you-” you start, but he hushes you, gaze flickering back into the forest.
“Are there more?” Woo asks, tone dreadful.
San doesn’t respond right away, he doesn’t have to. The sound of something moving, slithering through the forest is immediately apparent, rocks either being crushed or slipping down the hill.
You look around, searching for the beasts. You catch sight of movement, something black and massive twisting through the bush, before it disappears behind a tree-trunk. Out of the corner of your eye, you spot another, slithering within the ashen underbrush. They appear bigger than the last, far longer as you cannot see their full length, body a couple feet thicker in girth.
“How many are there?” You ask, trying to keep your voice low.
“Not many,” San answers, although for some reason he sounds more devastated than relieved by the fact. “Only one.”
You cast him a confused glance, prepared to point out the third beast you see slithering behind a rock.
“Fuck,” Woo whispers, the realization dawning on him just as it does you.
The first beast you saw that had crawled up the tree
 it has also slithered itself around one of its branches, before connecting itself to the next one.
The second beast that slithered through the underbrush, its torso does not disappear behind a blackened bush, it continues past it. All the way to the third beast, its body twisted around a rock before curling up yet another tree stump.
There are not many beasts, but one. One massive snake that’s body has completely surrounded you. It hangs across the trees, trails through the underbrush, curls around rocks and stumps alike. Black scales slithering in the shadows, it’s everywhere.
“Where is its head?” Seonghwa asks, looking up into the trees, eyes full of worry.
The silence in response to his question is a testament to how nobody is sure of the answer. Woo crouches down, grabbing a large rock. He weighs it in his hand, as if to deem whether or not it is heavy enough, then brings his arm back and throws it down the trail.
It sails a solid distance away from you before falling back down. Skipping a few times, it loudly crashes against different small stones with each of its jumps.
Less than a few seconds after it settles, the rock is devoured whole.
The beast appears in a whirl of darkness and motion. Flying down from the tree-tops, its open mouth - which is a few feet long, by your estimate - contains massive fangs that drip with a white venom as it swallows the rock.
The monstrous snake hisses with satisfaction, pink and ribbed tongue flickering out in front of it. It lets out a breath, and the faintest hint of flames flare out from the monster’s nose. The beast's black tail continues to fall down from the tree’s, and you can hear it moving all around you. Tens, maybe even hundreds of feet long.
It begins to slither along the ground, making zig-zags along the trail as it surrounds the smaller snakes that San had slain. It stops in front of one, nudging its body with the tip of its nose, to which the smaller snake flops over lifelessly
“Shit,” San whispers, gaze flickering between the massive snake and the ones he’d discerned to be children. “That’s mom.”
The snake continues to hiss, becoming increasingly agitated as it lets out a strange, mangled growling noise. It’s of a higher-pitch, breaking slightly, and the beast lets out a blast of fire that scorches the area around it. It’s upset, and part of yourself - the tiny fraction that is not consumed by fear - feels almost guilty.
Then it turns to face you.
Its face is difficult to make out. Features indiscernible as its scales are the colour of midnight, a stark contrast to the bold pink of its gaping mouth. The white venom from its fangs continues to drip onto the soil, equally as corrosive as its blood.
What’s most terrifying however, are its eyes. Gleaming rubies glowing within the darkness, they shine a bright red. They’re also cloudy, like fogged windows, a testament to the monster’s blindness. Even though it looks in your direction, you know it cannot see you.
And yet, it doesn’t move. It’s face hovers a couple dozen feet before you, tongue flickering. It huffs once more, a bright orange flare puffing from its mouth.
“It must be some sort of Basilisk and Dragon hybrid. Both rare, both deadly,” San whispers, expression grim.
Woo nods to himself, lip briefly curving upwards. “A Drasilisk,” he offers.
San gives him a look of disbelief. “What is wrong with you?”
“Would both of you quit it,” Seonghwa says, voice a panicked whisper. His gaze flickers between them and the beast, before swallowing hard. “What are we going to do?”
“It’s blind. So if we don’t make any noise, it’ll leave eventually,” San answers, and Seonghwa nods. It seems plausible enough of a plan, reasonable enough to work. Besides, your content with nobody having to try and fight this thing, whether that be you or any of them.
The snake curls upwards from its place on the ground, coils forming around itself as it hovers in the air, looming tall. It lets out another broken whine, this time louder. Amplified by the mountains, it echoes all around you. It resembles a woman screaming.
The beast flares its nostrils, the action accompanied by a quiet puffing sound. It’s not the same as it had done before, accompanied by fire and annoyance. Instead, it sounds like an inhale rather than an exhale.
The beast continues to make the sound over and over again, nose outstretched as it twists back and forth, almost as if it’s
 sniffing.
It begins to move towards you, slithering slowly, following your scent down the trail as it creeps closer.
“You think just standing here is a good idea now?” Woo asks, a ball of flame forming within his hand. It’s useless, considering the beast is fireproof, but perhaps it provides him comfort. A false sense of control.
“No,” San says plainly, rolling up his sleeves before unsheathing his sword. “Ready to go again?”
“You aren’t seriously thinking of fighting that thing are you?” You ask, because it sounds ridiculous. The smaller snakes in relation to this monster is like comparing a puppy to a wolf. It’s a death mission, suicide.
“Not much of a choice,” San breathes, before rushing towards the beast. Woo lets out a shout of panicked protest, and while his intentions may have been good, the beast perks up in acknowledgement of their presence.
It lets out a vicious, blood curdling roar - a sound you never thought could come from a snake - and with it comes a blast of fire. Like an avalanche of flame, red and orange flurries tumble down the trail. Even from a fair distance away you can feel its heat immediately, and San only manages to avoid the flame by diving out into the bush.
Even so, it catches his ankle, the flames alighting his trousers. He extinguishes them with a handful of dirt, casting an annoyed glare in Woo’s direction. “Thanks a lot,” he says, both in relation to the elemental having alerted the beast and failing to redirect its flame.
Woo doesn’t apologize, but he does raise his hands in front of himself, prepared for the beast's next blast of fire.
San rushes towards the monster once more, the necessity for speed obvious, as its gaping mouth extends to where he’d just been standing. The beast instead collides with the ground, venom squirting into where its fangs sink into the soil.
San’s good eye widens, as if realizing how close he’s dancing on death’s doorstep.
While his attention is preoccupied, the beast's long torso swings towards him. The monster commands its body like a whip, extending itself to meet the swordsman with an alarming amount of force. From the sheer power of the strike, you fear he may fall.
However, when it pulls its body back, San isn’t on the ground. He’s not standing either. In fact, he’s not anywhere.
Your brows furrow into confusion. Focusing your gaze, you search for San amongst the darkness, unable to find him where he’d previously stood. As if he’d been wiped from existence.
Then you notice a flash of colour amidst the beast's jet-black body.
San clings to the monster as it raises itself into the air. Arms held around its torso, he holds onto it with sheer core-strength, face twisted with the necessary effort.
He caught it. Somehow, he managed to catch the three-foot wide whip hurtling towards him.
Seonghwa cheers in a rally of support, and you nearly clap in amazement, as well as disbelief.
San pulls himself up so that he is sitting on top of the beast, legs wrapped around its torso as if he were riding it. With a hand clutching onto one of its scales, he uses the other to lift his sword into the air. The sword gleams in the moonlight as he raises it high, like a knight from a storybook as he brings it down, triumphant and glorious.
The sword bounces off of the beast's scales.
San’s brows furrows, and instead of a plunging motion, he attempts to slice the beast as he had the smaller ones. Once again, the sword merely rebounds off of the monster, useless.
The snake lets out a roar of annoyance, becoming aware of the nuisance that has attached himself to its back. It launches itself upwards, before immediately descending down, the rest of its body following in a peristaltic motion. The ripple ascends towards San like a massive wave, and the swordsman’s face settles into an expression that says nothing less than “Fuck me”.
When the snake’s body launches upward beneath him, San attempts to hold on, but the effort is futile. The scale beneath his hand rips off, and he is sent flying. Losing the grip on his sword, it goes soaring out into the forest, disappearing into the underbrush.
If there is any sort of optimism to be found in the situation, it’s in that at least San is sent hurtling towards you rather than in the opposite direction. He crashes into the ground, catching himself on his forearms, bare skin shredded as he slides along the trail’s rocks and gravel.
Wincing, he does not allow himself to dwell on the pain, as he shakily pushes himself back up and unto his feet. His arms are stained pure red, the layer of flesh wiped clean off. He swears beneath his breath, before yanking both of his sleeves down as if he cannot stand to look at it.
“Well,” Woo says, a look of disgust on his face as blood begins to soak through the fabric of San’s tunic. “Are you done?”
“I’m done,” San hisses through gritted teeth.
Woo nods. “We run then?”
San looks over to the snake, who lets out a loud hissing noise as more fire sparks from its nose. “Yeah,” he breathes. “We run.”
The four of you take off down the trail. Keeping one eye over your shoulder, the beast turns to face you all, letting out a violent roar that shakes the ground. It opens its mouth, another avalanche of flame tumbling down the trail.
Woo twists around, running backwards as he redirects the flames into the forest. Sweat has begun to bead on his brow, and you believe it has little to do with the actual warmth of the fire, but instead the effort required in combating it.
This isn’t going to work. You can’t outrun this monster, just as San can’t slay it and Woo cannot hold off its flames forever.
You’re going to die.
The realization is not as startling as it should be. After all, the brink of death is a place you’ve found yourself numerous times the last few weeks. Beginning at outrunning the black-clad men in your castle, followed by about a dozen more deadly challenges since.
Which means there must be a way to maneuver your way out of this one too. What you need is a change in perspective, in strategy.
You cast another glance over your shoulder, the snake only a dozen feet from you now, long body winding back and forth behind it.
“We need to split up!” You shout, to which Woo shoots you an incredulous glance.
“So it can pick us off one by one?” He retorts, appalled by the idea. You shake your head.
“It can’t see us,” you say, words tumbling immediately from your lips as you think of them. “If noise starts coming from different directions, we may be able to confuse it.”
He opens his mouth, prepared to shut down the idea, but pauses. His eyes light up in realization that it actually might work, before filling with annoyance at remembering that the idea is also yours.
“Dammit, Libaiyan,” Woo mutters, turning around once again to redirect the monster’s flames. He groans in frustration. “Fine. We split up.”
“We all run into the forest on the count of three,” San chimes in. He casts a glance at each of you in turn. You, Woo, and Seonghwa all give a nod of affirmation, and San swallows hard, breathing heavy as he speaks.
“Three
two
one!”
The four of you split off from one another. You and Woo both sprint to your right, while San and Seonghwa turn left. You run through the forest, no trails to be found, narrowly avoiding the sharp branches of the ashen trees.
You can hear the snake behind you, the beast also having chosen to go right rather than left.“Great,” you think pleasantly, taking a sharp twist westward as the hissing grows louder behind you. “Just my luck.”
Another blast of fire erupts from its mouth, and you dart behind a tree to avoid being swallowed by its flames. The large glowing blaze emerges from both sides of you, and the heat is scolding against your skin, burning even if not directly touching you.
The monster appears beside you, lightning-fast as it continues in the direction you had been running. It passes right by you, continuing down further into the forest.
You let out a sigh of relief, as the beast continues to move further and further away, its head becoming a small - well, smaller - shadow in the distance. Its body continues to move beside you, the hundreds of feet winding down like the string of a fishing pole. Careful to keep your footsteps quiet as you walk, you tread with caution back towards the trail.
Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Woo doing the same a few trees away. You catch his eye, and he gives a curt nod, before heading over to you.
“Is it really gone
 Just like that?” You ask, astounded by the ease of your escape.
“Looks like it,” Woo replies, although the unease in his tone sounds like he’s not quite convinced himself.
However, he does continue moving forward, and you jog to catch up behind him. You don’t say anything, not wanting to push your luck. It appears that at least for the moment, he’s forgotten to be hostile towards you, and you’re more than willing to soak in a rare fraction of peace in the man’s presence.
It’s after less than a minute of walking - the trail appearing just a few metres in front of you - that Woo stops. You come to a halt, raising an eyebrow. He doesn’t notice, gaze fixated on the tail that continues to wind down.
“Is it just me,” he starts, before swallowing hard. “Or is it moving faster?”
You narrow your eyes, as it’s a bit difficult to tell. The scales create almost an illusion against the blackness of the ash, making it hard to notice that it’s moving at all, but you think he’s right. It is moving faster, which is strange considering there isn’t actually anything for it to be chasing, so why speed up?
The answer becomes obvious when both you and Woo look back into the shadows of the forest, only to see a dark, twisted silhouette reappearing in the distance.
The beast let’s out another harrowing roar, fire once again exploding out from its gaping mouth. The trees there are not as barren as the ones closest to the trail, and you watch as the leaves catch fire around it, casting a smouldering glow that expands as more begin to burn. It’s ominous, like hundreds of small candles being lit all at once, and your breath dies in your throat.
You feel a hand wrap around your forearm, yanking you sideways. You stumble as Woo pulls you into him, his back pressed against the bark of a tree, hiding the both of you. His eyes are wide, but surprisingly calm. Alert but poised, as he listens as the sound of the beast’s hissing becomes closer.
Terror seizes within your chest. At least when you were running you had something to focus on, to keep your mind busy. Sitting here as the beast moves closer makes you feel helpless, like predator and prey.
Woo suddenly places his hand over your mouth, and you realize that your breathing has become heavy. Not out of tiredness, but panic. You glance up at him, although he does not meet your eyes, his own gaze trained forward. Avoidant as his jaw is set firm in annoyance.
He detests you, and yet here you are, pressed against his chest with his fingers settled on your lips. He wants you dead, and yet it appears a part of him will not let it happen so easily.
Even now, Woo is not as cruel as he believes himself to be, and you feel almost sorry for him.
The monster roars once more, and this time sparks billow to your left, the two of you finally within the beast’s reach. The sound of its scales sliding through the dirt becomes softer, as the monster begins to slow down in its pursuit. You note the familiar noise of puffing air, as the beast catches a whiff of your scent.
Woo’s eyes fall shut and his grip on your arm tightens, as if he needs something to hold onto.
For that something to be you, this really may be the end.
Your eyes still do not leave Woo’s own, even if his are not open to meet yours. When you speak you keep your voice low, so quiet that rather than hearing your words, he can likely better feel them with his fingers against your lips.
“I’m sorry,” you say. Woo’s eyes open at this, meeting your own. He does not smile. He neither nods nor whispers any form of acceptance.
Yet, he also does not deny them. At the very least, you know that he heard you in your sincerity, and perhaps that is the most that you can ask for.
Closing your eyes, you place your hand on his tunic, fingers clutching onto its fabric. The beast’s sniffing has become louder, only a dozen feet off by your estimate.
“Hey!” A voice suddenly shouts. It’s far off, much deeper into the forest. When he shouts again, you can tell that it’s San. “Hey! Over here!”
The beast lets out a loud roar and fire engulfs the tree you’re hiding behind, flames rolling out on both sides of you. Woo pulls you further into him, away from the heat that nips at your exposed flesh, causing you to wince.
Then the monster takes off, deeper down into the forest, leaving the two of you behind. Woo removes his hand from your lips, and the two of you take a moment to breathe, heavy and relieved.
This relief is short-lived, however, as Woo’s eyes widen. Realization dawning on him.
He scowls, shoving you off of him. “That dumbass,” he spits, before taking off into the forest, following the monster that has now shifted its pursuit onto San. Chasing after him, you follow the monster's tail as it winds and twists through the trees, moving at rapid speed.
When you finally catch up to them all, the forest has been replaced by some sort of clearing, the wind fierce and ground coated in jagged rock rather than dirt. Looking ahead, you can see that past the monster pursuing both San and Seonghwa is
 nothing.
The rocky landscape cuts off, and past it all you can see is empty space, followed by the next mountain over in the distance. A cliff. Your heart pounds faster.
Woo appears to notice the sudden drop the same time you do, his pace quickening as he summons a ball of fire in his hand, throwing it towards the beast. It does nothing, of course, merely bouncing off of its scales. It doesn’t even grab the monster’s attention, its focus trained solely on the two men in front of it, not even noticing that you and Woo have nearly closed the distance.
Seonghwa’s hand slips into San’s, and both he and the swordsman share a look. Nothing is said, but as they both nod, there seems to be some sort of understanding made between them.
Together they run off the edge of the cliff.
“No!” Woo shouts, although it’s more of a horrified shriek than anything else. The monster twists away from the cliff’s edge, not interested in following suit in their plummet.
It all happens in the split of a second, as Woo grabs your hand and drags you with him. He makes massive leaps and bounds, desperate as he pulls the two of you past the beast.
Not only past the beast, but down the make-shift pathway created by its absence and over the cliff’s edge.
The moment your feet leave the comfortable firmness of the ground, dangling in the weightless state of limbo between the earth and sky, you decide that this is a feeling that you never want to experience again. Fortunately, it appears you won’t have to worry about this, considering you won’t be living much longer.
Your stomach plummets as you do, tunic billowing out behind you as you fall through the air. Looking down, your eyes sting from the wind blowing upwards, although you force yourself to keep them open.
You see San and Seonghwa falling beneath you, a solid distance away but also not yet having splattered against the ground.
Or
not ground
water.
Water.
A massive lake expanding from the cliff's edge all the way to the next mountain. A beautiful blue lake, reflecting the light of the moon against the night sky, glassy in its stillness.
It’s not ground beneath you, it’s water.
Despite yourself, you laugh. A joyous, disbelieving laugh at the sheer luck of it.
What are the odds that out of all the cliff’s you could have thrown yourself off of, it would have been one with a deep and expansive stash of water beneath it? Next to none, and you can’t help but smile.
Woo drops your hand, extending both of his own out in front of him and down towards the lake. Clenching both of his hands into fists, you watch as the lake breaks its stillness by beginning to ripple. Good, otherwise you may as well be falling onto cement. He then pulls his arms upward, and the water rapidly rises, minimizing the fall by at least fifty extra feet.
Woo manages the maneuver just in time, as both San and Seonghwa crash into the lake a mere second before yourselves.
The water is a blast of cold, engulfing you as its chill settles deep within your bones. You made sure to land feet-first with your body tight. You remember years ago Mingi telling you that was the right way to land, the only way, if you had hope of not compressing your spine or breaking any bones. This was after he’d had water training during his earlier years in the kingdom guard. He’d been gone for a week near Dildysus’ shores, coming back tanned and with a dozen stories to tell. At the time you were envious of not being able to go with him, pettily treating him with a cold shoulder and avoidant gaze. Now you’re just eternally grateful he took the time to share with you some of what he’d learnt.
You open your eyes and are greeted with what is mostly darkness, although you can make out the bubbles of your breath and a few dark blurs that you sincerely hope are the boys. Kicking upwards, the bottoms of your feet burn, ankle aching in a way that you’re sure it’s at least minorly fractured.
With the severity you could have had in your injuries, you can’t bring yourself to fret over it.
Face breaking past the surface, you take in a massive gulp of air, the wind having been completely knocked from your lungs upon impact. San and Seonghwa both turn to face you, Woo popping up soon afterwards. None of you speak right away, taking a moment to catch your breath, to take in the inconceivable fact that you all are still alive.
Eventually, San speaks, motioning behind you. “Make our way over there?”
None of you respond, it’s not necessary. Instead you simply set in motion towards the shoreline, to safety at last.
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When you reach the shore, it’s on your stomach compared to your feet. Dragging yourself up onto the beach - which is more dirt than sand - you pull the rest of your body up by your elbows.
The couple of miles you had to swim felt a lot longer than it looked, even with Woo creating a current to help carry you the length of the distance.
San is a little ways ahead of you, pulling himself up into a seated position before flopping down onto his back, chest heaving as he looks up at the stars.
You hear Seonghwa cough from behind, wet and hoarse in a way that you can tell he’s choking on water that he swallowed. You cast him a glance, the empath sitting slumped on his knees, Woo giving him a firm slap to the back that causes him to cough up even more water.
You lay down, sand embedding itself in your hair and rough along your cheek, but you can’t hold yourself up any longer.
What a sorry bunch the lot of you are.
“All our supplies,” Woo says eventually, defeated as he lets out a guttural cough before continuing. “It’s all gone. Our tents, our horse, our food, our sleeping bags, everything. Gone.”
“Just be thankful we’re alive,” San retorts bluntly.
You know that’s not the best thing to say at the moment, and you brace yourself for Woo’s response.
“Oh, sure. All thanks to you, right?” Woo says, glowering. “What were you thinking, shouting after it like that?”
“I was thinking about saving your life,” San responds, tone far more calm than Woo’s.
“My life didn’t need saving.”
“It definitely did,” you think, but you know better than to interject yourself into this.
“What you were doing was almost getting yourself killed,” Woo continues, voice rising with every word. “I mean really, what was the plan San? You threw yourself - no, sorry, you and Seonghwa - off a cliff! You think that’s some kind of heroic gesture, that I’d be thankful?”
San does not respond.
“No, seriously. Tell me, San, because that has to be the stupidest thing you’ve ever done, and I’m at a loss at what you were possibly thinking.”
San does not look away from the sky as he speaks. “Would you two go check if there’s any place we can take shelter around here? I need to speak with Woo alone.”
Seonghwa and you share a nervous glance. He purses his lips together, worried about what may be said and what that may mean for the rest of your journey.
Although, this isn’t either of your business, and you both awkwardly rise to your feet. “Alright,” Seonghwa says, the two of you beginning to make your way down the beach.
You try to catch his eye again, to see what he may be thinking about all of this, but he keeps his gaze straight ahead. The two of you don’t talk again even as you make it past the beach, down the open field and into the forest’s thicket.
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San waits until the two of you are completely out of sight, having disappeared from the shoreline and into the woods. He still does not look at Woo, does not want to see his angry furrowed brows, his tense jaw and clenched fists. The stars are easier to speak to.
He isn’t sure where he gains the strength to say it. Perhaps there is something about surviving a plummet to your death that makes you take a step back and think about things. San doesn’t really know. He just speaks.
“Maybe I was thinking the same thing as you when you dragged her off that cliff with you. That same reckless, thoughtless panic that you felt when you saw me go over and decided to throw yourself after me. That blind instinct that says I’m willing to die in a heartbeat, so long as it gives you a chance to survive.”
San waits for Woo to say something, but he does not. Although the swordsman can hear him shuffle, clearly growing uncomfortable, exposed.
Amidst Woo’s silence, San connects Kuroku’s constellation in his mind. He and sister used to search for them in the night sky when he was little, finding Libaiya’s sun and Zaria’s siren amidst the bountiful little glowing beads. That was before Jude died. Before everything became so damn complicated.
San sighs. “I’m tired, Woo.”
There’s so much that he could be referencing, too much, but Woo understands it to be about the journey. “I know,” he says, his voice softening slightly. “But we’ll get to Kuroku soon, and then things can go back to normal.”
San laughs, a breathy chuckle. “Normal,” he says, mulling over the word, the silliness of it. “What is our normal?”
“What do you mean?” Woo asks, prodding a little further after being met with silence. “San?”
“When are we not fighting? Or avoiding each other? Or pretending this limbo we’re in doesn’t matter when it so obviously does?”
When his words are met with silence, San swallows hard. His throat feels tight, almost sticky. Like his body is begging him not to do this, his heart screaming at him to not say anything, not to burn this bridge even if it’s falling apart at his feet.
But San has to do this. If not for his heart, then for his sanity.
“We’re killing each other, Woo,” he whispers, still not looking at him. Not letting himself be swayed. “Or at least
 you’re killing me.”
There’s a thick silence that follows these words, that leaves San a little surprised. He’d expected the elemental to get defensive or angry, just as he had been up the mountain earlier. Instead he remains quiet, hesitant.
Perhaps he can tell that this time is different.
“What are you saying, San?” Woo asks, quiet.
“I’m saying that I’m done,” San replies. “I can’t keep fighting like this, I can’t keep watching you throw yourself into open fire over jealousy, I can’t keep letting this thing between us put everyone in danger.”
San drops his voice to a whisper, so quiet that he isn’t sure if Woo can even hear him, the words too vulnerable to be said so loud. “I can’t keep waking up alone.”
San can hear Woo swallow, hard and thick. When he speaks, his voice is shaky.
“Is this about her?” Woo asks, but his tone is not accusatory, nor angry and jealous as he so often is when the subject of you arises. Instead it is broken, defeated. Rejected.
“No,” San answers, and it’s with a small laugh. Not of the condescending kind, just a hum towards the idea of all of this starting with you, as if he’d only started feeling this way mere weeks ago. “She may have been the final nail in the coffin, but we’ve been hammering for years, Woo.”
Another silent pause, before the elemental’s voice becomes even smaller. “Is there anything I could do to change your mind?”
San considers this. May as well be honest.  “Yes, but you couldn’t do it.”
“What is it?” Woo asks immediately, driven by scheer instinct. Willing to do what it takes, willing to be thoughtless and reckless. Willing to jump off any cliff need be.
“You would need to give me all of you,” San says softly, a comet whirling by in the sky above him, as if what he’s saying is some sort of wish. Fool’s hope. “No bits and pieces. No secrets, just full honesty. Nothing hidden. Stripped bare.”
“You already have
” Woo rushes, before abruptly trailing off. San finally looks up at him, pushing himself back onto his elbows, meeting the elemental’s eyes.
Woo’s face has fallen, mouth drawn open as the words fail to come out, as he realizes they would be a lie.
San does not have all of him. There are things he won’t share, vulnerabilities hidden deep within him, a part of himself that he is not willing to unravel.
San wishes the Woo would take a breath, then unwind himself. That he would explain everything, why he pushes San away yet refuses to let him out of his reach, or why he needs San so badly on the coldest of winter nights, but disappears come the sunrise in the morning.
He’s always believed that this is because Woo also loves Seonghwa, that there is space in his heart reserved for another, a place that San can never hold no matter how much he tries.
But the way that Woo looks at him now, his mouth drawn open and eyes wide with an agonizing desperation, San knows that there is something deeper than that. Something dark, something holding the elemental back, something that Woo’s heart pleads for San to know but is unwilling to actually share.
Something that Woo will never tell him, that makes him wonder if he truly knows the elemental at all, and San is too tired to hold on to false hope any longer.
“We’ll get to Kuroku, then we’ll go home and figure out what we’re going to do about this,” San says finally, and he knows his voice sounds cold. Inside his heart is screaming, wailing, clawing for attention. His mind shuts it down. “For now let’s just finish what we started.”
“Okay,” Woo answers, gaze falling down from San’s, staring at the ground. The little speckles of grey-coloured sand surround them, murky and wet, cold. San wants to reach out and touch him. Hold him, kiss him, make him feel better. He stops himself.
He supposes that this will take a lot of time to go away. So be it.
“I’m going to go see where they ran off to,” San says. He rises to his feet, and his knees feel like jelly. He wants to collapse, his brain buzzing, vision foggy within this state of delirium. It feels like he’s not in control, cutting himself off from his emotions leaving him empty and hollow, weightless.
“Okay,” Woo says again, even quieter than the last, still not looking at him.
“Don’t stay out here too long. It’s cold and you’re soaked,” San says, before his feet are moving towards the forest and away from the beach, footprints trailing behind him on the sand.
“Sure,” Woo says, and his voice shakes. There’s a certain wetness to it, raspy as it rises up from his throat, and San realizes the elemental is holding back tears. It nearly stalls him, as San isn’t sure if he’s ever seen the elemental cry beyond a few silent tears.
He knows he would not be able to handle it, and so he continues forward, leaving Woo behind.
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When San finds you in the cave that you and Seonghwa found, his expression is solemn. Sitting down a couple feet to your left, he reaches behind him to remove his sword from its sheath, only to remember that it’s no longer there. It’s somewhere back up the cliff, lost to the bushes after he’d been thrown off the monster’s back.
Upon realizing it’s gone, San sighs. He runs his hands through his hair, before keeping them placed on the back of his neck, as if he can no longer hold his head up on his own.
“Impressive fire,” he says suddenly, in reference to the hand-made fire crafted in front of you. It is rather impressive, made of a bounty of small sticks and logs all arranged in an intricate fashion, as well as some sort of fern stuffing the middle that helped get it started.
You chuckle, the thought of you containing the wilderness skills to make something like this amusing. “Seonghwa started it,” you explain, and San smiles, before glancing around the darkness of the cave.
“Where is he?” He asks.
You nod towards the cave’s exit. “Took a walk in the forest.”
San quirks an eyebrow. “It’s the middle of the night, almost sunrise.”
“Yeah, well,” you start, albeit awkwardly. You don’t want to sound too self-pitiful.  “I don’t think he felt comfortable sitting alone with me.”
San’s smile falls, own eye drifting from yours to the flames. “Ah.”
You decide to change the subject. “Where’s Woo?”
“Down at the beach.”
When he doesn’t add anything else, you know that he doesn’t wish to speak about the elemental any longer.
The two of you sit in a not-so-comfortable silence, before you notice the dried blood on his tunic, having soaked through the fabric of both of his forearms. Amidst the more immediate danger, you’d forgotten the nasty fall he’d taken from the beast’s back, having wiped the skin clean off. You grimace at the thought.
“Your arms,” you start, clearing your throat. “Do they hurt?”
San glances down at them, eye widening as if to say: “Oh, right. That happened.”
“Uh, not really,” he says, before pulling up one of his sleeves. His breath catches at the sight of the skin, painted with bright bloody patches and a consistent red all throughout. He lets out an uncomfortable laugh, in shock. “Although, it looks like they should, doesn’t it?”
You frown, chewing on the inside of your cheek. “Do you want me to clean them?”
“We don’t have salve anymore, remember?” San says with a nonchalant shrug, brushing it off.
“Still,” you start, glancing behind you. “Even just some water could help.”
Before he can protest otherwise, you rise to your feet. The sound of dripping water can be heard from deeper within the cave, loud enough that you figure it would be a quicker journey than walking back to the shore. Besides, you want to give Woo his space.
Following the dripping, darkness swells around you, the light of the fire fading in the growing distance. You and Seonghwa hadn’t ventured any further than the opening, not wanting to risk stumbling upon any more deadly monsters in your search for shelter. Fortunately, you find the source of the dripping before the darkness becomes too thick. It falls as a steady stream, trailing from the top of the cave, likely sourced by a pond of sorts further up the mountain.
Taking a page from Seonghwa’s book, you rip off the bottom of your tunic, using it as a make-shift cloth as you soak it in the falling stream.
When you make your way back to San, he gives you a soft smile, although it quickly falls as you begin to dab at the scrapes with the shirt-cloth. He winces, attempting to tug his arm away, but you keep your grip on his wrist firm.
You don’t need to explain it to him, he’s surely had enough injuries to know that momentary pain is a small price to pay against infection. He stops pulling, letting his arm fall limp in your grasp. His gaze drifts up from his arm to your face, settling there for a moment, before trailing back down.
“San
” you start, hesitant as you trail the cloth along his skin. Perhaps it is unwise to ask, to risk stirring the pot more than you already have, but you need to know. “Why are you letting me do this? Why aren’t you avoiding me like Seonghwa, or yelling at me like Woo?”
When he doesn’t respond right away, the question quickly turns into a nervous ramble. “I mean, I screwed you over. You need that money, San. How can you just sit there and
and smile at me, knowing what I did to you? To all of you?”
That same soft, sad smile spreads over his lips now as you say those words. He sighs, although it is not a defeated or exhausted sound, more contemplative. When he looks up, his gaze is more gentle than you deserve.
“I probably should be more mad at you, shouldn’t I?” He says, letting out a quiet laugh that’s more a quick puff of air through his nose.
You respond with a nod, pursing your lips together. He sighs. “I guess
 I guess I just get it. I know what it’s like to be desperate for something, to do things that you know are wrong and eat you up inside, but it feels like there’s no other option.”
Your brows furrow, watching him carefully. You don’t look away when he meets your eyes, a way of asking without saying anything aloud. He hesitates for only a moment, before swallowing hard, good eye flickering downward and away from yours.
“In the year after Jay killed my family, before I met Woo, I was living in The Cat’s Cradle. I had nowhere else to go, and to work towards paying off my debt, I had to work as his errand boy.”
San swallows hard, squinching his eye shut as if relieving it all. “I did a lot of things I’m not proud of, that I hated myself for then and still do now. Spying on people who had just as little as I had, who were also in debt to Jay, ratting them out. I may not have actually killed anyone, but I may as well have by turning them into him.”
“San
” You start, but trail off as you’re unsure of what to say.
“I guess in a way I always knew it was too good to be true,” San says softly, lip curving upward, although it’s more defeated than anything else. “It would be too easy. Much easier than I deserve.”
You open your mouth to say something, to likely spout your condolences and that he certainly does not deserve what you’ve done to him, but he must not want to hear it.
“I can tell that the world hasn’t been kind to you, just as it hasn’t been to me,” he says, not giving you the chance to speak. “Your family is also dead. Powerful men are also hunting you. You also have nothing left.”
Tears well in your eyes, and he takes the cloth from your hand, setting it down on the ground. He replaces it with his own hand, gentle as his fingers intertwine with yours. “I may be disappointed, but I can’t be mad. It’d be too hypocritical.”
It’s too kind, too understanding. The tears begin to slip from your eyes, and he reaches forward with his other hand to wipe at them, grazing his thumb along your cheekbone. When it makes its way to the corner of your face, he keeps it there, the rest of his hand cradling your head.
“Don’t cry,” he mumbles, thumb rubbing back and forth against your skin. “I said this to make you feel better, not to make you cry.”
“Sorry,” you say, with a breathy laugh. It quickly falters, fading into a stifled sob. Your lip quivers, face contorting inward on itself. Mingi always said you were an ugly crier.
“I’m sorry, San,” you say, and this time it is different. This time it is so much more.
He smiles. “I know.”
The silence that surrounds the two of you is thick. He continues to watch you, eye holding yours. A part of you wants to shy away, knowing how weak you look, the vulnerability in your swollen eyes and trembling lips.
Yet, you don’t, because at the same time you feel safe. You don’t know the last time you felt so truly understood, the last time you were stripped bare. Not lying, not pretending to be someone you are not, not walking on the egg-shells of a mistake.
And in the face of that person - the person that you truly are, horrible faults and all - he does not shy away.
He has seen you unravelled but holds you all the same, and amidst the situation's ugliness, it is the most accepted you have ever felt.
San leans in, slow and careful, like the air has transformed into molasses. His gaze falls, lingering on your lips. Your heart races as he draws closer, quickening beats that echo through you.
When he’s only a few inches away, he stops, and something flickers over his features. Sorrow, hurt, and all the emotions that have been building for so very long. In you, in him, in all of you.
Somehow, you know that this hurt is not about you, about this moment. This pure and vulnerable moment that he does not wish to taint with the pain of something else.
Instead of finding your own, his lips drift upwards, settling onto your cheek. Onto a stray tear that slipped past his thumb, gentle as he removes the wetness from your skin.
He pulls back to place his forehead against your own. He is warm, breath holding that same rich scent of coffee as it did a couple days ago. It’s cozy, comforting, and you feel the need to let him know how deeply you appreciate this. Appreciate him.
“Thank you,” you whisper, sitting in the promise of a kiss, noses brushing but lips never quite touching.
While he does not say anything out loud, the way his hand gently squeezes your own tells you everything that you could have wanted to hear.
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Wooyoung pauses at the entrance of the cave. Having followed the flickering light of the fire and the sound of hushed voices, he wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting to find.
However, whatever he may have anticipated, it was not Seonghwa sitting outside of the cave with his arms drawn around his knees, avoiding the display of you and San huddled around the fire. Your faces are pressed so close together that Wooyoung wonders if the two of you had just finished sharing a kiss.
His eyes are puffy and his nose is stuffed. He feels gross. Wooyoung hasn’t cried in a long time, at least not like that. Maybe since Yeonjun and Winter, which makes sense, as this is the closest he’s felt since then to losing someone he loves. Any tears he’s shed from then on have either been minimal, or born from pure fury. These were neither.
He sits in the entrance for at least a minute, and when it doesn’t seem like the two of you are going to stop any time soon, he walks over to sit with Seonghwa.
The empath glances up at him, letting out a short sigh. “Hey,” he says, shuffling over to make space next to him.
“Hey,” Wooyoung replies, taking a seat. Despite himself, Wooyoung sniffles, and Seonghwa’s gaze darts over. Wooyoung knows that he’s giving him the look without having to meet the blonde’s eyes.
“Do you want me to-”
Wooyoung’s answer is immediate, knowing exactly what it is the empath plans to offer. “No.”
“Alright,” Seonghwa says quietly, casting a glance behind him, at the two of you by the flames. Wooyoung notices that Seonghwa doesn’t seem angry. He’s not fuming or sulking, more so impatient, fingers tapping along his knees as he seems to simply be waiting for the two of you to finish.
Wooyoung doesn’t get it, how Seonghwa handles these things. How he doesn’t explode. How he doesn’t lose himself in anger the way Wooyoung does. How he avoids your gaze rather than stares daggers into it.
He turns to Seonghwa, nodding towards the both of you. “Aren’t you mad?” He asks.
“No
 Yes? I don’t know,” Seonghwa starts, a tad frustrated. He leans back so that his head presses against the cave's rocky exterior, lips drawn into a weak smile. “If San can forgive her, I'll let him. It’s not my place to foster grudges for him.”
That’s not really what Wooyoung meant, and he tries to be a little more direct.
“How does it not bother you seeing them like that?” Wooyoung asks, along with the unspoken question: “How do I make it not bother me?”
Seonghwa laughs, although it is low and unhumourous “There isn’t any jealousy to be had, Woo. She isn’t mine to keep. She never has been, even when I thought of it as
more than it was. I always knew that it wasn’t meant to last longer than Kuroku. We’ve just reached the ending a little sooner than I expected.”
When Wooyoung doesn’t respond, Seonghwa shrugs. “If she can bring San a little peace, well, why should I not let her?”
Wooyoung doesn’t know what to say to that. When he looks at you he sees the Libaiyan orphanage, he hears the oath he gave swearing complete obedience to your father three times a day. He thinks of those nights he spent dreaming of your entire family's demise, of what he would give to be the one to set that kingdom on fire.
But he also sees the broken girl crying over the horrors she committed. He sees your worried gaze lifting him from the sauna’s fog and casting him a trusting glance across the table when trying to trick the mimic.
He sees you knees deep in the mud, begging him to understand that you never knew about the orphanages. Tears in your eyes as the two of you were at death's door, whispering about how sorry you were.
How can you be both of those people at once? How can you be his greatest enemy, but also the only person he’s been able to tell the truth about his past?
He hates you. He also doesn't.
Wooyoung doesn't know what to feel. He wishes he could just be angry. It's so much easier to be angry than anything else. Than this, whatever it is.
Wooyoung sighs, casting a glance back at both you and San. You’ve finally pulled apart, backs turned as you both watch the flames. He can hear you whispering, and would be able to eavesdrop if he wanted to, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t want to hear what San might be saying to you.
With the thought of San returning to his mind, his face immediately feels too hot again, throat scratchy and his eyes wet.
He relives it. San’s cold voice, his defeated laugh, his footsteps following behind him as he left Wooyoung in the chilly, wet sand.
“You would need to give me all of you,” San had said, right after saying it was something that Wooyoung could never do.
The worst part? He’s right.
Wooyoung’s chest aches, and then it begins to shake, convulsing. The sobs rattle within him as he does not allow them to be released from his mouth. San can’t hear him, he will not make this any worse than it already is.
“We’re killing each other, Woo. Or at least
 you’re killing me.” San’s words.
“We both loved you, and this is what we get for it?” Winter.
Two different beats to the same drum. Is this what he does to the people he loves? Hurts them? Makes them feel worthless? Kills them, or at least their souls?
He’s always feared of getting too close to San, of what he might do if he let down those remaining walls. If he would hurt him, if he would lose him.
He’s always tried so hard not to lose San. Steering the swordsman away from any perceived danger. From you, initially. Trying to protect him in any way he can. Even when it’s irrational, even when he knows it's only pissing San off, he’s never been able to help himself.
When San threw himself off the cliff, Wooyoung felt the world crumble to ash around him. It was Yeonjun all over again, the moment his head cracked against that rock, and nothing else mattered.
That would not happen to San. Not again, Wooyoung would not let it. He would not lose him.
Well, here he is, having lost him anyway, just in a different way. Perhaps it was inevitable, doomed from the moment they met, yet another curse on the god’s behalf.
Perhaps San is better off without him. Safer.
Wooyoung places his palm over his own mouth, stifling another sob. He feels a hand settle on his shoulder. Seonghwa. Fingers moving back and forth, he rubs the area around his neck in a soothing, comforting fashion.
Wooyoung would normally shove his hand away, tell him to piss off. Don’t get too close to this, don’t trouble yourself with my problems, take your hand away from the flames or else you’re going to get burned.
He doesn’t. Instead Wooyoung lets Seonghwa touch him. He does not move closer, he does not place his head on the empath's shoulder. He does not fully accept it, but he also does not push him away.
And for tonight alone, Wooyoung breaks.
~~~~~
next chapter.
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tmntkiseki · 8 months ago
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Actually, going back to yesterday's topic of TMNT 2003 and it's lack of romantic subplots with the turtles themselves, I think this is the part where I mention that TMNT 2003 actually came into my life at just the perfect time?
So a little over a year ago, I ended my first serious relationship as an adult. I don't like talking about my ex too much even now, but we were together for over five years and after the break up, the next several months were spent stewing in a boiling pot of rage, sadness, and regret. I wanna say all my negative feelings towards my ex and our relationship peaked during May - July 2023 and didn't simmer down until around autumn, which coincidentally was about when I started watching TMNT 2003. (I'm also convinced that a lot of the stress from the breakup led to some of the minor-yet-concerning health problems I've been dealing with over the last several months, but I have no way of proving that.)
One of the big problems is that, at the time I broke up with my ex, I tended to watch/play a lot of romance-focused media. Under normal circumstances, I'd still be able to regularly engage with a lot of the shows and video games I normally do without being becoming a bitter ball of anguish. Unfortunately, within a couple of months of breaking up with ex, games I used to love like Rune Factory 4 Special or shows like Snow White with the Red Hair became absolutely unbearable play/watch because of all the negative feelings I had towards my ex. If a love interest wasn't reminding me of my ex with certain...behaviors, I was looking at a relationship onscreen and thinking to myself "Why couldn't we be like that?" It was a nightmare.
Fast forward (lmao) to... god, when did I start watching TMNT 2003? I wanna say I started watching it either late August or early September? The pipeline of how I ended up watching TMNT 2003 is a weird one, but there were a couple of things that stuck out to me when I first started watching it. For starters, even though it was a Western cartoon, there were certain quirks about it that reminded me of the anime I usually watch (namely the fight choreography and being so heavily plot-focused rather than episodic in its storytelling) and I found myself gravitating towards it because of that alone. And I just love the characters. The turtles themselves are incredibly well-rounded with their own strengths and flaws, and the supporting cast and antagonists make the world feel very alive and lived-in. (I personally can't get over how half the time the turtles aren't even attempting to get into trouble; they usually just end up walking into the plot of the week purely by accident.)
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But besides that, as I mentioned in my other post, even though there are a couple of romantic subplots in the show, most notably the April/Casey one that spans pretty much the entire series, the turtles themselves never end up entering a serious relationship with anyone. The closest we ever get to romance with one of the turtles is Don's one-sided crush on April, which was never going to go anywhere on account of her being an adult and ending up with Casey, and I wanna say the crush is almost entirely dropped by midway through Season 3. Beyond that, the turtles are never shown becoming physically attracted to anyone and all their important relationships--Splinter, April, Casey, Klunk, Leatherhead, Honeycutt, Sydney, Angel, the Professor, the Justice Force, Traximus, the Daimyo, Usagi, Gen, Renet, the Ancient One, the Acolytes, Cody, Serling, and Starlee--are all strictly platonic. And you know what? That's okay by my book.
It is a fact that society regularly insists that the key to happiness is finding your One True Love and places more emphasis on romantic relationships than platonic ones. I personally don't want to die alone, but at this point in my life, I don't need a romantic relationship to be happy--in fact, I think being in a relationship would just complicate things when I'm still getting my shit together as is. When you look at Leo, Raph, Don, and Mikey within the context 2003, I cannot recall a single moment where one of them complains about how their status as a one-of-a-kind mutant turtle means they'll probably never land a partner and as far as I can tell, they seem perfectly happy as is. They have each other, they have Splinter, April and Casey are there too, Klunk, all their other friends--really, what would giving one of the boys a love interest do for them? The answer; not all that much, honestly. In fact, I feel like the risk of giving any of the 2003 turtles a love interest far outweighs the reward.
Now, mind you, I don't think it's impossible to give one of the 2003 turtles a serious love interest--in fact, I have a lot of thoughts about how it could be done right--and that it actually would be something worth exploring in a reboot/sequel series that'll likely never happen, but again, I don't think that TMNT 2003 suffers for the lack of turtle romances and is perfectly fine as is. 2003!Leo, Raph, Don, and Mikey are very lovable characters and are able to have fulfilling relationships without any of them being romantic in nature and I think that's a good message to send to people, whether you're a young kid or a grown adult. Romance is great, but so is a crushing bear hug from your three brothers, your rat dad, and the two humans you adopted.
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byersfanclub · 2 years ago
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call it controversial, I'm speaking my mind and if you don’t agree with me then so be it, atp idc what ppl may think about my opinion on this matter but as someone who views mike wheeler as a closeted gay person, meaning mlm, he is a boy who likes other boys and that’s it then I’m also someone who believes mike has never had actual romantic feelings for el at ANY point in the show. I don’t sit around and harass people who believe otherwise. 
mike is not even the FIRST person to show el kindness once she escaped the lab, it’s benny hammond. mike is the second person to truly show el some kindness and basic human decency by allowing her into his home and getting her clean, dry clothes. it’s something I hope anyone would do for anyone in that sort of situation BUT don’t forget it’s also mike’s idea to “send her back to pennhurst or wherever she came from” and comes up with the plan on the spot right then and there to have her go out the back door and knock on the front door and his mom will figure out what to do. they never had any plans on keeping el around until they found out she knew who will was, that he was alive and that she had fucking superpowers. I get kinda sick of ppl trying to twist this around. this is factual, it’s not some anti-m1leve3n thing ppl made up, it is canon. to say mike never wanted to get rid of el at first is just a straight up lie, his main priority was finding will, but he wasn’t going to be an asshole and leave a girl outside in the pouring rain.  
all mike cares about in s1 is finding will. I find it odd that some ppl don’t believe this, whether you think he could have grew a crush on el or not. he literally starts to disassociate, begs to help look for him, sneaks out of his home at night, bikes home and sobs into his moms arms when he thinks will is dead, is outright RUDE to el afterwards until she proves that will is still alive. 
both Lucas and Nancy say things that try to allude to mike liking el, which literally has nothing to fucking do with the plot of s1 AT ALL and they literally have no scenes that I can genuinely go back and look at and be like “aww that's so cute and romantic, I hope they’ll kiss and end up together” 
their kiss was never scripted and it wasn’t even meant to happen, it was something millie suggested and its funny that they chose to do it right after she asks if mike will be like her fucking BROTHER and he goes “no, well, I guess it’s sort of the same” like my brother in christ in what world is a date/boyfriend the same as a brother? he’s not stupid, even 12 year olds know the difference between a brother and a boyfriend. I genuinely think it’s because mike has never CARED about that sort of thing before, because he’s just a kid who wants to play games with his friends, uninterested in girls and dating in general. 
so, when I say that mike unintentionally uses el as his “beard” it’s not meant to be insulting towards el, because el is also using mike to try and be a normal girl. they are both just trying to be normal when both of them know they AREN’T. 
el is the first girl not immediately grossed out by mike, it’s because she doesn’t view him as anything other than a person, she’s not thinking about him romantically at all, she’s a 12 yr old girl that just escaped being in a scientific lab her whole life, romance isn’t going to be on the forefront of her mind, she probably doesn’t even know wtf romantic love even is. you think they’re showing Casablanca in the Hawkins national lab? I don’t think so. 
s2 shows mikes lack of interest in girls even more, and ppl using the reasoning that its because he “loves el” like idk how to tell you this, he knew her FOR ONE WEEK and she barely spoke the entire time and mike was focused on will all of s1. be so for real. really. his lack of interest in girls comes in the form of things more subtle like the dragons lair scene, which has mike and will off to the side, blank faced as dustin and lucas sort of duel for princess daphne. then there’s more upfront moments like mike being completely uninterested in max, while even will seems to be at least a little curious about her (ofc not romantically like dustin and lucas) 
don't even get me started on mikes monologue to will in s2 being 10x more romantic than mike’s “love confession” monologue in s4 which fell flat on 90% of the audience (on purpose, I see u duffers)
the snowball scene isn’t meant to be a romantic scene for m1lev3n but it gets interpreted as one because of they way they film it, and it’s literally done that way ON PURPOSE. they are tricking you, me, the entire audience into believing mike is so upset because el isn’t there. but his reactions to will getting asked to dance and afterwards (with dustin also being upset over Lucas and max) are clear. then they show us Nancy asking dustin to dance along with el showing up to the snowball to dance with mike? 
The ending of s2 solidified mike using el as a cover for his queerness, to be normal, because he was aware that he was DIFFERENT. this is why m1lev3n is so insufferable to people in s3 because its written to be insufferable. they don’t want you to like it. to finally see mike and el as a couple? it’s annoying, ppl don’t like it, the characters themselves are over it and even el herself. 
then there’s will and mikes fight scene which is 10x more breakup coded than m1lev3ns ACTUAL breakup? bro had mike sobbing and throwing up as he biked across town in the pouring rain to apologize, meanwhile all mike did was eat Doritos and burp while complaining abt el breaking up with him, calling her a different species and such. he didn’t actually care deep down, it was more annoying and frustrating that she broke up with him than emotional because he didn’t love her romantically, he’s just mad that he lost his cover that keeps him appearing as normal as possible. 
the ending of s3 solidifies to me that el is ALSO using mike to be and feel normal, because they’d been broken up for months at this point and she suddenly feels the need to kiss him and tell him she loves him too? while mike literally tries to avoid remembering the shit he said earlier in the season, because he didn’t mean it and if he did, he wouldn’t have acted the way he fucking did in s4. BFFR. el only wanted mike back because she lost hopper. 
hoppers letter is meant to be familiar love between el and hopper and it’s meant to allude to the growing romantic tension between mike and will as well, in stranger things, there’s double, triple, quadruple meanings to everything and this is one of them. mike KNOWS he does not love el, he knows this in s2, he knows this during s3, he knows this coming into s4. mike is desperate to not lose her as his cover because as much as mike is “himself” back in Hawkins, he still can’t stop thinking about will because Hawkins isn’t the same without him. he knows he’s thinking about will too much, that he worries about el so much because he’s unable to face his true feelings that he has for will and not her and mike believes that el genuinely loves him (she doesn’t). 
this brings me to believe their official split is going to be a lot more mutual than ppl believe. el has come to terms that her and mike are over during nina, I believe el suspects/knows that mike is gay/likes will. their sbp talk paralleling jack and joey from Dawsons creek is almost too spot on for it not to mean something, especially to know will still pining and jealous over them right after it. 
in conclusion, im tired of pretending I ever thought mike and el were ever a cute ship, they weren’t. there was no spark between them for me and many others. it was like they were being forced into my face and I think the duffers did this with so much intention. not only did they straightbait robin and steve so well, but them “shoving” a straight ship into our face in the way mainstreams shows get criticized by homophobes for gay ships. it’s no wonder one of their favorite shows is Dawsons creek. 
mike wheeler is gay and never liked el. el hopper got caught up in mike’s internal conflict and also latched onto him for a sense of security and to feel like a normal teenage girl. 
fin. 
126 notes · View notes
everlastingdreams · 10 months ago
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The Weeping Monk x Reader : Born In The Dawn Chapter 37
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Story Summary: Locked inside a dark room in a dungeon, kept alive only for your power, you believed you’d never see the daylight again. That is until the Weeping Monk finds his way down and steals you from your captors. It is the beginning of a journey that leads you through hardship and newfound hope, but nothing is assured in a world that is changing for the Fey. The magic that runs in your veins is drawing out the worst the world has to offer, does it include the man who pulled you from the dark?
Chapter Title: Pater Familias
Notes: /
Warnings: Grief. Violence. Torture. Sexual Assault. Rape Threat. Gore. Enemies To Lovers. Pining. Trauma. Flagellation. Manipulation. Strong Language. Blood. Gore?. Misogyny. PTSD. Spicy and smut parts. Slight redemption arc.
Other warnings: Jealousy. Forbidden Love. Romance. Slow-burn

Word count of this fic: +220K
Chapter:  37/41
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Somewhere in the night, you had ended up half-draped over him. Leg between his, arm around him. Dawn was approaching when you crawled out of bed without waking him. You hated to get out, to be back in the cold and out of the warmth he had to offer. He looked peacefully asleep, and you doubted that he had ever been so comfortable with a distance between him and his weapons at night.
After washing up, the evidence of the night was gone from your skin. It still felt like it had been a dream, one look at the bed proved that it wasn’t. You got dressed after plucking your clothes up from the floor where they had been discarded. You even picked up his and placed them on the bed. He could not stay here for much longer, the sun was about to rise and soon it would become difficult to leave this room without being noticed.
You sat down beside him on the bed, brushing a stray lock of hair from his eyes, “Lancelot?”
He slept so deeply that it looked like he had not even stirred in his sleep last night. With some soft little taps against the tip of his nose with your finger, you hoped to annoy him enough to wake. Around the fourth time, his hand flew to your wrist and held it still.
By the familiar scent and annoying actions, he knew who was doing this without having to open his eyes.
You pried his fingers loose from your wrist. “It’s almost dawn. If you want to wash before you leave, now is the time to get up.”
He inhaled deeply, opening his eyes and letting them adjust to the surroundings, “Is there another reason why you want me to leave your bed?”
Did he really think you wanted him to leave after last night?
You couldn’t resist teasing him a bit, “Gods, Lancelot. You weren’t that bad.”
It almost had him fooled, until he saw you grinning. His eyes narrowed at the blatant attempt to jest with him, he fired back, “And you were not this mouthy last night.”
Your eyes narrowed back at him, and you rose from the bed again. “I’ve put your clothes on the bed for you.”
You pointed at them. When he moved the sheets to get out of the bed, you forced yourself to look away.
He noticed the reaction, finding it quite endearing to see you shy away whilst trying to hide it. Like it dented your pride to admit that you became flustered at the sight of him like this.
“You can look, if you want.” He felt not a hint of shame to be bare near you after last night. “I do not mind.”
You bit your lip and send your gaze to the ceiling. “I’m just not used to it yet. I don’t really know how to respond, or act near someone who’s bare. Even if the person pleases my eyes.”
He did not bother to get dressed quickly, he did reach for his trousers first. “I have carnal knowledge of you now, therefore I see no reason to hide myself from you. I hope in time you will feel more comfortable.”
Lancelot began to tie the cords of his trousers until they were secured.
“I’m not uncomfortable.” You protested.
“You did not dare to look at me.” He countered.
Well

“I looked.” You admitted.
His brow arched when realizing he had not seen that you must have taken a peek. You pressed your lips together in an attempt to hide the smile.
“I see.” He picked his shirt up to put it on.
Your eyes fell on the fabric in his hands and how it would steal the sight very soon. You got closer to him, reaching out to let your fingers walk over his chest and up to his neck. The look in his eyes changed rapidly, that tilt of his head betrayed his thoughts.
You quickly pulled your hand back. “Don’t even think about it. People will be walking through that hall very soon. We’re not the only ones who have woken up.”
To return to reality after living inside a dream was never simple.
He straightened his back, and after he put on the shirt he picked up his jerkin. “I shall wash in my own quarters, it is better this way.”
You nodded and started to help him close the belts of the jerkin.
He jested about it, “It is easier to handle them when our hands are not shaking.”
You snorted a laugh. “Much easier.”
He picked up his belts with weapons next, and you grabbed the vambraces.
You traded the vambraces for the belts. “Here, you do these and I’ll do the belts.”
“Thank you.” He smirked and took to the task of putting the vambraces on while you put the belts on him.
As you closed them, he chuckled at the tugging that accompanied it.
“Your cloak
” You spotted it not far from the door, still on the ground, and picked it up, “You hide a lot of beauty under this, you know?”
He was stunned for a moment, then let his gaze roll over your form. “So do you.”
You shook your head at it whilst smiling. “Such flattery. One would think you were trying to get me into your bed.”
There was that head tilt again, but his tone gave away that he knew it was a risky thing to say, “Or yours.”
Brave of him, even though he had said it like an uncertain child asking for another sweet. You tossed the cloak over his shoulders, helping him with it. “I’m glad you seem to be content with me, it must have been good for you to wish for more.”
It was impossible not to feel good with that knowledge, he even looked at you with the same hunger, like you were still bare.
“Content
” He muttered, and put the cloak on properly, “You were more than I could ever pray for.”
You kept your eyes fixed on the leather straps of the cloak as you fixed a fold in them. His words were a salve to your wounded heart, they had put you on the verge of tears. He curled a finger under your chin, making your eyes lift to his to study them.
He knew. He just knew that deep down your heart was hurt by the past with Matthew, it had been taken for granted. He saw himself in you, in that broken heart that had wanted to be loved by those who carelessly broke it. Love was an action, words meant nothing if not proven to be true.
You saw him lean in for a kiss and spoke as his lips closed in, “And you are all I wanted.”
His mouth curved into that boyish smile as he pressed it to yours. The sound of a door opening nearby pulled you back to reality.
“I should go.” He said.
“I’ll go and see if it’s safe.” You moved past him and towards the door.
Outside in the hall, sunlight began to creep into the fort. You listened for a moment, then beckoned for him. He hurried out of the room, but turned to look after taking some steps away.
‘Go’ You mouthed to him.
Thankfully he listened, because someone stepped out of their room just as he had turned the corner.
~~~♡~~~♡~~~♧~~~♡~~~♡~~~
Before you could even enter the dinning hall for breakfast, Ser Florent approached and stopped only a few steps away from you and Lancelot. The knight had heard of the plans for the chapel from Helio. “I have news from the healers who are interested in volunteering in our holy infirmary.” He flashed a smirk. “There is only one problem they have notified me off.”
What sort of problem?” You asked, concerned.
He looked at Lancelot and pulled a small map from where he kept it rolled up under his arm, pointing at a certain spot. “There are some herbs they need, herbs they claim that grow in abundance in a place right here.”
Lancelot closed his eyes and sighed, already guessing where this conversation was heading. “I know where it is.”
Ser Florent continued, “I am asking you to go and collect these herbs, because I have been notified by Percival that you possess a rather intriguingly strong sense of smell.”
Lancelot looked somewhat embarrassed that Ser Florent knew of it.
“Are you up for the task?” The knight looked at you and Lancelot expectantly. “With my permission for this, you can leave this hill.”
The Ash Man was not keen on the idea to take you along so close to Uther’s grounds. “I am. But perhaps it is better if she-”
Ser Florent shook his head. “If you run into trouble, you have a healer with you.”
You weren’t going to stay behind. “I’m coming with you.”
The knight was pleased to hear how determined you were, and Lancelot gave a nod of acknowledgment.
“Here is a list of the herbs needed. Please, head out now. We need these herbs.” Ser Florent handed Lancelot a small piece of parchment.
“I shall bring them to you.” Lancelot said.
The knight walked away after wishing you ‘good luck’ .
“Are we going now?” You asked.
“It is best.” Lancelot said as he began walking towards the exit of the fort. “Let us hope we do not run into Uther’s soldiers.”
“Let us hope.” You said.
~~~♡~~~♡~~~♀~~~♡~~~♡~~~
With the Ash Man’s gift for scents, finding the herbs went rather smooth. You had stuffed your satchel full of them, make certain that there would be enough to last a while. It had taken little over an hour to get to this place in the forest, but only minutes to find and gather the herbs, at this pace you’d be home again before midday even. After getting your hands dirty to get the herbs, you had washed them in the river before returning to the waiting horses.
“I need a moment, I’ll be right back.” He suddenly said.
“For what?” It was an innocent inquiry.
He blinked twice, then was bluntly honest. “The water I drank is seeking it’s way out.”
The laugh that rippled out of you was loud, “I’ll wait here.” you told him.
He headed into the discretion of the trees. You were kicking some leaves around, entertaining yourself as you waited, there was some distance between yourself and the horses. A voice rang loud over the silence of the forest.
“It’s her!” One was heard shouting.
The aggression in those few words made fear run down your spine. It had come from close-by, too close-by. You pivoted on your heels, the sun made the silver of the symbol shine from afar. A pendant hanged from the man’s neck, the symbol of the Brotherhood. Your mouth opened to shout for Lancelot, a gasp forced it’s way out instead when someone tackled you roughly to the ground.
The sword at your hip was stolen and tossed further away, out of your reach. There were two of them, one covered your mouth to keep you quiet, another came to help him and tied your wrists behind your back with a long piece of rag. They pulled you up from the ground and started to pull you along.
Not again. Not again. Not again

The thought that they could be dragging you to a dungeon to imprison you was enough to panic. For just the smallest moment, the hand left your mouth to take hold on your arm and keep you under control. It happened by instinct when you screamed out Lancelot’s name in terror, you couldn’t have prevented it. You struggled against them until the tallest Brother gave a backhanded slap, hard, across your face. The fall was anything but soft, maybe it was even more painful than the hit. Nausea set in quickly, your vision darkened, you must have hit your head on the ground. A burst of bright green light blinded the eyes of all involved.
Your vision went dark completely.
The first thing you felt when regaining consciousness completely, was the warmth of the sun on your body. You blinked your eyes open, your body slowly returned to it’s normal state. Your head felt so light that it felt unlikely that you could lift it up from the grass.
The earthy smell of the soil, mixed with those of withering leaves, helped to bring you back to the present. But there was something else, that touch you knew so well.
Lancelot gingerly brushed the back of his fingers along your cheek and temple. How long had he been trying to wake you?
You found the heavens clouded by concern when looking into his eyes. “What happened?
”
“I do not know.” He said, confused. “Are you alright?”
It took a moment to reply, as if your brain needed to check if all the limbs you had were still present. “I think so.”
He sat down just beside you, relieved.
Memories were catching up with you. That bright light
 that strange warmth that had accompanied it. It couldn’t be

He was looking into his hands, and you noticed that the leaf-like markings were glowing to live, he opened and closed them continuously as if he believed it would stop.
You sat upright, practically crawling closer to him. “Are you alright?”
The glow that lived in his markings seemed eerily familiar. One look around told that the attackers were nowhere in sight anymore. He was yet to answer your question.
“Lancelot. What happened to the Brothers?” You asked.
“I dragged them away. I didn’t want you to see.”
He didn’t want you to see what he had done. It was a gruesome sight.
“I just
 grabbed his arm
” His eyes never lifted from his hands. “There was fire. It consumed them.” His voice trailed off, weakening.
Their charred remains were barely recognizable anymore.
You slowly reached for his hand, he closed it into a fist, as if he feared what could happen if you were to touch the marks now.
He tried to make sense of it. “The Hidden
 I heard their wrath and it surged through me. Bonded with my own. And then there was fire.”
“Green fire?” You asked
He nodded.
Carefully you took hold of his hand, folding it open and tracing the intricate leaves patterns on his palm with the tips of your fingers. “Fey Fire, Lancelot. You created Fey Fire.”
There was no other explanation. It even made perfect sense considering his heritage.
“Are you worried you cannot control it?” You wondered.
He slowly shook his head, relaxing under the caress of your fingers. “I know I can. I wanted to harm them. I caused it subconsciously, but I did cause it.”
Quite a pair. One that healed and one that burned.
The magic present in his glowing marks made your own respond in return, you weren’t even healing him and still your eyes were overtaken by the green glow.
“You can feel it.” Lancelot breathed out at the sight of them. “That power
”
You nodded and tried to calm your racing heart, there was so much power running through him, and by the Hidden’s link you could feel it in your bones.
You put his hand in your lap, holding it in your own. “That never happened before?”
“Never.” He shook his head. “Do you believe it could be because I am beginning to accept what I am?”
Your palm brushed over his hand, soothing the tense muscles in it. “It is very possible. You could have been repressing this all your life.”
Lancelot sat quietly, index finger stroking along your knuckles, eyes never lifting from your intertwined hands. “When you screamed, I felt my blood run cold. And then I saw them, how they struck you down
” He swallowed. “I felt the fire in my blood before it even presented itself. I wanted to kill them, but I never thought this would happen.”
He took hold of your hand, tugging at it a little until you got closer.
“Show me.” You squeezed his hand.
He misunderstood and showed you the palm of his hand, the glow was starting to fade along with the markings.
You repeated, sending him a knowing look. “Show me.”
He looked away, but could not pretend for long that he preferred the view of trees over the view of you. Then he stood up from the ground, you followed suit. Lancelot chose a fallen branch from the dozens that were scattered around.
“Don’t be afraid.” He exhaled shakily. “Please, don’t be afraid.”
You stood strong, not letting any reaction show on your face. That attempt failed when the pattern of leaves spread over the skin of his hand, and it brought forth the birth of the green flames that now burned the branch. It was awe inducing. The Fey Fire did not burn him. He came closer to you, letting you see what the Fey had considered lost decades ago. You could weep from joy. The Hidden sounded so, so pleased. He took a couple of calming, deep breaths, and the flames slowly extinguished until nothing but the burned branch remained. He let it fall to the ground. For a moment you said nothing, too stupefied to speak. He was breathing harder, waiting for any sort of response.
“That was amazing!” You flung your arms around him.
He went rigid for a second, then gave in to the embrace wholeheartedly. His markings retreated as if they knew they were never to cause you harm.
“Can we
 keep this between us?” He quietly asked. “I do not want it to be known. Not yet. Not until the Fey know that they do not have to fear me.”
How clever was it to keep such big secrets? Bringing people back from the dead
 creating Fey Fire

“I understand your concern. I was wondering if maybe we should at least tell my parents? It’s just
 I fear the secrets are going to build themselves up too far, I don’t want us to be buried and burdened with them.”
He leaned back, collecting your hands in his.
You offered to share your own secrets as well. “I will tell them of what I did, of how the Reaper killed you, how I truly accepted my duty as summoner when I brought you back.”
For a moment, he was quietly thinking. Then a nod. “Then I will notify them of my power as well.”
A breath of relief left you. “Yes?”
“Yes.” Another nod. “I trust them.”
“Even my father?” You asked.
“Despite his distrust towards me, I believe he will be content to know that Fey Fire is not extinct after all.” He said. “And perhaps he will not wish to kill me then, when he learns of the depths to our bond.”
You tried to smile, knowing that your father would kill the gods themselves if he believed them to be a threat to his family. “Good. Keep those positive thoughts.”
“How encouraging.” He jested, grinning as he let go of you. “When do you wish to speak of this to them?”
The sooner, the better. “When we get back. Or I will lose the courage.”
“Very well. But first we will need to bring these herbs to Florent.” He took your arm and guided you to the horses.
With his hands on your waist, he seemed to calculate whether or not you were steady enough on your feet to mount Aella.
“Be careful.” He whispered, seemingly reluctant to let go.
You carefully pulled yourself into the saddle and gave a reassuring nod down at him. When you didn’t fall off your horse, he went towards Goliath and got into the saddle as well. Steering the steed closer and reaching over to hold onto Aella’s reins, leading her along.
~~~♡~~~♡~~~◇~~~♡~~~♡~~~
After bringing the herbs to Ser Florent, and giving him a brief explanation about what had happened, you found yourself in the dining hall. The space was empty, apart from Lancelot, your parents and yourself.
The Ash Man looked at you, tilting his head, giving you the word to start this.
“There is something important Lancelot and I wish to tell you.” Your eyes darted between the faces of your parents.
Helio’s expression changed instantly. “Gods.”
Mirena touched his arm, hearing the cold tone. “Let them speak first, dear.”
It was as if your lips failed to part to bring the words out, you had to take a second to be able to.
“When we were captured by the Reaper, he wanted to prove that the Dawn Folk were the key to immortality. It was insane. He made me try to revive the men he killed, men of the Brotherhood.” You began to fidget at the memory. “My magic was not strong enough. And as a means to ‘encourage’ me, he
” The words got stuck in your throat, you were blinking fast against the tears that threatened to form. “He stabbed Lancelot through the heart with a knife.”
Helio and Mirena were shocked by the information.
“Then how is he here now?” Helio gestured to Lancelot.
“I promised the Hidden I would be their summoner, if they gave me the strength to bring him back.” You quietly said. “I accepted their offer.”
Mirena had covered her mouth with her hand, eyes wide.
“You are truly a summoner now?” Helio was surprised to hear that you finally had fully accepted their call.
You nodded, eyes fixed on the floor often. “I am. But
 I believe they only gave me this power to save Lancelot, because they have chosen him as summoner of the Ash Folk. I remember how enraged they were, this power
 it was something they were reluctant to give.”
Mirena was looking at Lancelot, as if she was was looking at a ghost.
Helio stepped closer to you, “The Hidden are powerful, but even they know there is a limit, a boundary that should not be crossed. This kind of power, even for Dawn Folk, must be used with the balance of life and death in mind. You know this.”
You swayed a bit unstable on your feet when he put a hand on your shoulder. “I know. I will not abuse this power. I hope to never use it again, it took so much from my strength.”
He gave it a squeeze and withdrew his hand. “As your father, I demand you do not surrender your own life to save another. But I understand why you had to do what you did.”
Mirena spoke to Lancelot. “I believe there is something you wish to say?”
The Ash Man gave a nod and stepped forward. “It is true, I have heard the Hidden’s call since I was a boy. Up until weeks ago, I refused to acknowledge it. Now, the more I have begun to accept my heritage, the more I feel their presence. I believe they have chosen me to be the summoner of my clan, perhaps because I may be the last of the Ash Folk left.” He folded his fidgeting hands together behind his back. “Today, I experienced what it meant to be of my clan. Two of the Brotherhood had found y/n, I stopped them from taking her. The Hidden’s fury, at the thought of losing a summoner, awakened a power within me I did not know I possessed.”
Helio was listening intently, albeit a bit impatient, “What sort of power?”
Lancelot breathed out the answer, locking eyes on Helio’s face. “Fey Fire.”
Your parents were staring at him for a while.
“Do you have it contained?” Helio finally spoke, and raised a brow in suspicion.
“I believe I do.” Lancelot tried to not let his voice shake.
Helio was stern about it. “Good. We do not want any accidents in our home. Understood?”
The Ash Man fixed his eyes to the floor and tilted his head. “Of course, Sir.”
“We were hoping that this knowledge would not go further than the four of us.” You quickly told them.
Helio scoffed. “Letting knowledge such as this travel further would bring nothing but risks. They already destroyed our clan for our healing, I do not want to know what they would do if they knew one of us can raise the dead. And Fey Fire? The fire that forged the most powerful weapons in the world. Yes, it is best if this is kept quiet.”
You were so relieved to hear it.
Mirena was still processing the news, she cleared her throat, “Was there anything else you wished to tell us?”
You looked at Lancelot, then both shook your heads.
“Thank the gods.” Helio said, sounding oddly relieved. “Mirena
”
Your father took her hand and leaded her out of the dining hall, undoubtedly to discuss this with her alone.
“You did well.” You told Lancelot.
He gave a nod, swallowing down the anxiousness still caught in his throat. “So did you.”
He looked to the closed door, and took hold of your hand for just a moment, a reassuring gesture. He released your hand when the first people entered the dining hall to eat their midday meal.
“Shall we take a seat?” He asked.
“Of course.” You said and went to pick where to sit.
~~~♡~~~♡~~~◇~~~♡~~~♡~~~
Late midday, Lancelot was called upon by Ser Florent to discuss what needed to be done in the chapel. To the Ash Man’s relief, the knights were willing to listen to what he had to say.
Ser Florent gave his opinion to them on the matter. “We owe it to the Dawn Folk to ensure that they remain in good health. These are the last survivors of their clan, we cannot risk any of them to be drained of all their life’s energy by healing. Lancelot is right, we need the chapel to become a place for healers and even volunteers to unite.”
An older knight gave some resistance. “But the chapel carries a bad name among the Fey here.”
Lancelot was leaning against a table, overhearing their discussion. “It will not remain a chapel. It will become a place of healing and not in the spiritual manner of the word.”
The old knight hummed and looked at the younger one beside him, who simply shrugged his shoulders.
“Any other question or concerns? Speak them now.” Ser Florent asked, and when no one reacted said, “Good. We travel to the village today and recruit those with knowledge of healing. Ser. Baron, you will visit the lumberman and arrange for wood to use in restoring the building. Ser. George, seek volunteers who are willing to aid in the build.”
“Yes, Ser.” They exclaimed in unison.
Ser Florent gave a nod of acknowledgment to Lancelot.
The door of the dining hall opened behind the knight and Helio walked into the room. It registered too late that the Dawn Man had a loaded crossbow ready in hand. The speed at which Helio aimed and fired off the bolt was impressive to say the least. The unsuspecting Ash Man barely managed to turn his body sideways as it flew an inch past him and landed loudly into the wall. Helio was readying another bolt while Lancelot was still processing what was happening. Even the knights were shocked by the unexpected attack on him.
When he finally looked at the face of the man, he saw the pure rage roaring in his eyes. That was not the look of a man who could be reasoned with. What was he supposed to do? Try to disarm the enraged father of the woman he loved and risk injuring him, or flee?
He raised a hand in surrender. “Helio-”
Lancelot had to duck for the bolt that nearly landed in his head this time.
Ser Florent moved to stand in between Helio and Lancelot, raising his hands in both surrender and plea, “Helio, what is going on?! Speak to me!”
Helio simply readied another bolt and aimed again. “I warned him! Step aside, Florent.”
Even the knight wondered what the bloody hell the Ash Man had done for this to happen. Ser Florent took a wild guess that Helio might suspect that there was something between you and the Ash Man, and tried to diffuse the situation. “Helio, we cannot murder people over rumors.”
Helio bit the words at them, “I know he was in my daughter’s chamber last night, and left just before dawn!” He spat the words at Lancelot,“Someone saw you! You filthy bastard!”
Lancelot felt himself go pale, something the knights around him must have noticed.
Ser Florent knew that he was the only one standing between the Ash Man and a bolt now, “Don’t say a thing.” The knight spoke to him, then turned to Helio. “He has helped us, Helio. Even if it is true that he
 we should not kill him-”
Helio kept his eyes on his target. “Do you deny it?!”
Lancelot felt the eyes of the room on him as he decided to speak the truth. “I do not.”
The Dawn Man’s voice was venomous and low, “Did you share her bed?”
“Helio, please-” Ser Florent desperately tried to prevent bloodshed.
“Did you?!” Helio shouted out.
He could not keep running away from the truth. Sooner or later they would find out, and if he lied about it now it would not help him later.
“Yes.” He told Helio the truth.
The knights began to mumble to each other instantly.
Helio took aim and Ser Florent feared for his life. “Whoa! Helio, come now. I understand, I really do. But if you kill him, you will hurt your daughter too.”
“My daughter is strong, she will be alright.” Helio tried to get a good aim past the knight.
The persistence of the knight was getting on Helio’s nerves and he commanded the others to aid him, “Seize him! I will learn the truth out of him!”
Ser Florent was powerless against the order of his commander and had to watch how the others seized the Ash Man and brought him to his knees. The cold steel of Ser. Baron’s sword touched Lancelot’s throat. Helio lowered the crossbow, only to punch Lancelot across the face.
He had seen it coming, it wasn’t the first time he had faced an angry father figure. Still, the force of it made his head spin and he tasted blood in his mouth.
In his rage, Helio’s voice gave away the sorrow he felt, “She is my child! My child! And you sullied her! Why?!” He was breathing heavily. “There is an old saying. One I might believe is befitting for you. To what you’ve done!”
The Dawn Man took a moment to breath.
“The child that is rejected by the village will burn it down to feel it’s warmth.” Helio said it slowly. “That is what you have done to our people. Burn their homes, their families, their hope. And now you have come here to do the same with my family.”
The man’s words cut through him like burning hot steel.
“I gave you a chance. I risked my name and honor for you when I defended you against our people!” Helio shouted it at him. “I grant you shelter, and you take my daughter?”
The Dawn Man’s words hurt him far more than the punch had. He could not bring a word out, not because the man was furious, but because he could hear the heartbreak under that fury. He looked up at him and saw beyond the rage, seeing only a father who wished for nothing else than to keep his child safe. Father Carden would have never done this for him.
The confession felt like a weight lifting off of him. “I love her.”
Helio’s expression changed only for a second, then turned cold again, “How could you know what love is?”
Lancelot dropped his gaze to the floor, but forced himself to not let his confession be mocked or seen as a lie. “She taught me what it is. Everyday, again and again, it is what she is.”
To him, you were the embodiment of the term. What was love? You. You were love itself in his eyes.
Helio lifted the crossbow and held it close to Lancelot’s face. “My daughter deserves better!”
Those weeping eyes looked past the crossbow, and up into the ones who held such rage and despair. “End my life if you must, but do not let her see my death.”
He had never forgotten your screams and cries as he had once faded away into the darkness alone. Death was merciful, but not for those who suffered the grief.
“I do not want to face this world alone.” Lancelot’s gaze and voice lowered. “Not without her. Never again.”
He had never sounded so certain, so frightened, and tired of all the world had forced him to undergo.
The Fey’s greatest warrior was down on his knees, pleading for mercy on the suffering he had always kept inside. The Ash Man shut his eyes and bend his head down into submission when the crossbow was aimed to his forehead.
Taglist:
@ourlazydetectivekitten​​ @the-great-adventures-of-me​ @linkpk88​​  @fxrchxldws​​  @elenaoftheturks​​ @slytherlight​​ @beananacake​​    @crystallizedtime​​  @moonlightaura03​​  @angrygardendeer​​  @have-aheart​​   @5am-cigarette​​ @arcanenature​​  @thewinterskywalker​​ @notyourwildestdream​​ @coloursforyourportrait​​ @koressecretidentity​​ @nike90​​ @n1ghtlux​​ @rachlovesactors​​ @luckyzipperscissorsbat​​ @morena-doing-stuff​​  @the-fangirl-diaries​​ @gipsydanger17​​ @heavenly1927​​  @phantasmalbeiing  @labyrinthonmymind  @asarcastic-thiamstan​​  @rainyv-skies @kissingandromeda @stclairesplace @​​katjusja @isla-bell-blog @beebeerockknot @sahvlren
Please let me know if you want to be added or removed from the taglist of this story.
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casanovawrites · 1 year ago
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random sentence prompts  ━ from various tv shows, part 3
if you’ve got something good, that just means someone wants to take it, right?
i am not gonna watch that happen again.
i like rules. they bring order to the chaos.
you’re my favorite person in the world, but you’re acting weird.
i don’t want to be anyone’s hero. i just want to be safe and boring and happy.
we did so many bad things. it’s all burnt in my brain.
i know that i am flawed, but i am trying to be better.
if you think i’m a killer, prove it.
i’m, like, perpetually single.
no one in the world had more reasons not to believe in me, but you still did.
everyone expects me to have it all together, but i just don’t.
i don’t care what other people think about me. your opinion is the only one that mattered.
if you’re always a disappointment, then it’s impossible to disappoint.
i got so wrapped up in my own dreams and feelings. i took what we had for granted.
what we are to each other is so much more complicated than any stupid wife or husband or girlfriend. 
it’s too much for me, you needing me.
i want us to go back. back before the mistakes, the lies. back to when we were unstoppable. 
i guess all the time i feel like i’m kind of trapped because i can’t describe how i’m feeling.
you deserve better than me.
everyone keeps saying the only thing that will make this better is time and maybe space.
i didn’t want you to leave last night. 
got to clear the skies for some blue skies, right?
i just don’t want to get hurt again.
everything’s still unresolved, you know?
nobody deserves romance more than you. 
i don't know when i'm going to get over this. but i want to be beside you when that day comes.
is it cold in here, or is it just me?
i’ll get blamed if something bad happens to you.
i’ve got one rule for you. dance with me.
why is this so hard?
can we keep having dramatic yet memorable dates?
if you tell me right now that you’ll never forgive me until the end of time, i’ll leave you alone.
i’m not the problem. you are.
you two are weird in all the same ways. 
forget other people’s definitions. be who you want to be.
if i love you now, imagine how much i’ll love the person you become?
i just don’t see it adding up to happiness for any of us.
i kind of felt like you were running away from me.
i’m not a stranger. i’m just strange. 
every time i do something to be happy, someone gets hurt. 
all year, i’ve tried to do the right thing, but what do i get in return?
you strike me as a queen without her crown.
we’ll always find our way back to each other. 
what’s the point of fighting so hard to stay alive if we’re just going to die alone?
you know there’s a chance. that’s what you can’t square. that’s what hurts.
things went bad for you, things went bad for me.
it’s not that i’m like you. it’s that i love you.
i’m losing my fucking mind, and i’m terrified. 
you knocked me off balance in a good way.
he knew what to do. he always did. and he was a fucking asshole about it.
you should get the hell away from me. i’m poison. i ruin people.
you sound like a bad romantic comedy.
i think we can make long distance work.
you’re not a victim. you’re a killer.
i know kids lie to their parents about stuff,  but you don’t do that. it’s not you. 
you can come back from this. i know you can. you have to. 
people die, they become a threat.
you’re either the cat or the mouse.
when you go down, i hope i’m there to see it.
we’ve always needed each other. that’s what our entire relationship’s been about.
i’m not evil. i just did an evil thing, one i deeply regret.
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theroseandthebeast · 11 months ago
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Yuletide 2023 Recs, Batch Two
17 recs for Castlevania: Nocturne, The Chronicles of Riddick, Crimson Peak, Critical Role / EXU Calamity, Daisy Jones & The Six, The Devil Went Down To Georgia, Dracula, Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
The Safety of Abstaining, Courteously, Olrox/Original Male Character + Mizrak/Olrox
Love is a dangerous thing for all vampires. It makes them vulnerable. Olrox has had the misfortune of experiencing this first hand. He is not doing that again.
Strange Allies, Olrox/Mizrak + Mizrak/Richter Belmont
Mizrak can’t figure out why Richter Belmont is still alive.
Three Principles, Dame Vaako/Vaako
Society among the Necromongers is cruel and ruthless. Death is the natural order of things, and life is to be endured. This is the story of the man and woman who would become Lord and Dame Vaako. Don't forget: you keep what you kill.
Blood in the Snow, Lucille Sharpe/Thomas Sharpe
Before the house, there was the earth, and the blood.
tempter or the tempted, Asmodeus the Lord of the Nine Hells/Zerxus Ilerez
“The tempter or the tempted, who sins most?” - William Shakespeare Zerxus won't give up trying to save Asmodeus. Asmodeus won't stop trying to damn Zerxus.
You Wanna Try That Again?, Billy Dunne/Daisy Jones
There are so many lines in the sand between Daisy and Billy - boundaries they won't cross, words they won't say, urges they won't give into. Right up until they do.
The Devil Went Down to Georgia Station, Gen, The Devil & Johnny
Me, I was just about ready to play the fool myself when the Devil arrived. You see, the sector sheriff had died a little while back, and the spaceways were so infested with bandits that no law-abiding ship dared to fly. The bandits didn't come stop at Georgia Station for a drink and a fiddler either—nobody comes down here unless they've got a resupply contract, for there's only one safe route in. I was feeling my old wanderlust, what with being cooped up in one place for so long, and besides my free meals were getting smaller by the day. That's why, when the Devil came sauntering into the station's only saloon and slid into the booth across from me, bringing out her fiddle from Devil-knows-where, I listened when she made me a deal.
The Calm before the Storm, Gen, The Captain of the Demeter
The Demeter's log was not the only tale of note to be found upon the ship.
Sanguine, Gen, John Seward
John is having bad dreams. Most of all, he dreams that Quincey might not be as dead as everyone thinks he is.
Into That, Edgin Darvis/Xenk Yendar
Edgin returns the Helmet of Disjunction. Xenk rewards him.
Not Certainty, But Hope, Edgin Darvis/Xenk Yendar
In which Xenk proposes. "I'm sorry, but I'm going to need you to repeat that," Edgin said. "I have come here to ask your hand in marriage," Xenk said in that annoyingly calm voice, like dropping in on someone at their local pub and asking them to marry you was just like popping next door and asking for a cup of sugar from the neighbor, "that we might infiltrate a temple of Ilmater and discover the means by which so many happy couples have disappeared."
Deception Check, Edgin Darvis/Xenk Yendar
Ed had lied a lot. Did lie a lot. There was a lot of lying, was his point. But the trouble and the lying did not typically involve Xenk Yendar, and this was proving to be the problem. (or, Edgin Darvis attempts to lie and rolls a one.)
Legends & Lore, Edgin Darvis/Xenk Yendar
Xenk gets truth potioned and doesn't say anything interesting at all.
Ink of the Covenant, Gen, Edgin Darvis & Holga Kilgore
Holga and Edgin get drunk. Edgin gets a tattoo. Standard 8th day in Targos, really.
it's a (fake) love story, baby (just say yes), Edgin Darvis/Xenk Yendar
“Back up,” Edgin said. “Explain how that’s connected to me going with you to a wedding.”
Perception Check (Roll for Romance), Edgin Darvis/Xenk Yendar
"I bet Xenk fucks like a metronome, too. You know." Holga makes a highly suggestive, repetitive gesture. "In, out. In, out. No variation. Same exact rhythm every time. Boring." Edgin stares at her, torn between horror and fascination. "You've really thought about this, huh?" (So has he. Unfortunately.)
you'll find us in the meadowland, Edgin Darvis/Xenk Yendar
Xenk let himself in with a slow turn of his key in the lock. The obedient door let out not a solitary creak or groan. It had better not; he plied the thing with oil as often as he cleaned any of his gear. There was a little moonlight seeping in through the window - enough to see the shape of the man rifling through his things. He was standing at Xenk’s desk, tucked into the corner and lined by shelves stacked with holy texts. Not his most valuable, of course - he wouldn’t be so careless as to keep the most precious of his collection here - but any one of them would feed a hungry man for a few days, at least. And yet this man wasn’t hungry, and he was no ordinary thief. Xenk judged this not only by the strong slope of his shoulders and broad back and the fine weave of his coat but also by the fact that he had recently been awarded the highest honours the Lord of Neverwinter could bestow. No, Edgin could want for nothing; even he could not have spent his rewards so quickly. There was only one explanation. This was an affliction of the soul.
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catt-nuevenor · 1 year ago
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Same person who sent the initial bg3 ask here! I absolutely love your analysis of Shadowheart! I agree with you about her big act 3 choice (trying to be vague just incase others don't want spoilers). I was surprised that the majority of online opinions I've seen argue that the other choice is the better ending for Shadowheart. I just want her to be free and happy—even if the journey to happiness is rocky lol.
"It's the same bg3 person again b/c I also love gushing about this game and I ran out of room lol. As far as starting a Dark Urge run, I 100% have to recommend romancing Astarion. Though, it's 100X better on a run where you decide to be good and resist the urge. It's actually surprisingly wholesome and low-key so much better than romancing him as a normal Tav. He's surprisingly supportive and there's so many great moments where you talk about resisting and becoming better people together."
---
Glad you enjoyed my responding gushing and rambles. I do think the framing of the last scene with Shadowheart's questline perpetuates a lot of the opinions on her parents alive being the better option. I suppose it's neater too, since the game ends a relatively short time afterwards and unlike BG2 we don't get long epilogue cards describing what happens in the long term. No chance to see the full consequences of what being the unfortunate plaything of a vindictive goddess does to a person.
"I felt the wound last night, while you were sleeping. Like some sadistic child, de-winging a fly."
A lifetime with that isn't one I'd wish on anyone.
Onto the Dark Urge playthrough. Astarion and I have a hate/tolerate relationship. If I could lean wholly into the darker options (to get Astarion to the point of liking the Main Character enough), or a straight romance, I'm sure it would prove very entertaining, especially from what I know of the events and 'incidents' involving the Dark Urge. As it is, I was planning on romancing Lae'zel.
I'll popcorn my way through Astarion's excellent personality and romance through the medium of Youtube in the end, I suspect. Tens of hours, even with a quick playthrough of BG3 (I've never been good at speedrunning games), is a long time for me to 'play straight' or otherwise cuddle up to a chap if I had someone other than a female main character.
I will forever adore Astarion's response to Araj (the drow potion lady) in the city:
Araj: "Ah, and the heart-stopping bloodsucker. I hope you've changed your mind. My neck is yours, any time."
Astarion: "And I will keep refusing until the end of đŸŽ”timeđŸŽ”!"
But we make snarky allies at best.
The end of his questline makes me overall begrudgingly fond of him. Like a great fluffy Persian cat that you just know is going to take the utmost pleasure in biting you, but you still let snuggle up to you regardless.
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soraeia · 10 months ago
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At @godforsakcn/@sansloii's request, Kallen/Taeseong!
Damn....*exhales*...woo....where do I evEN BEGIN with this bastard.
For one thing, if Savane didn't exist---the role of the Dominion of Lust(which doesn't just involve Lust in my canon, but also love and obsession) would immediately fly to Taeseong. He loves to the point where it could be toxic. To others. Not really to the object of his affections, because he will treat them so preciously.
When this man falls, he CRASHES THROUGH THE EARTH. His heart just has this iron grip on his entire being and if his beloved is fire then he will let himself burn to feel their warmth.
I mean...he can be a fully functional human being as long as his beloved is alive. But do not get me started on if they died. I mentioned this before, but he will react in exactly the same way C.astlevania D.racula did and that is precisely why I do not give him a verse where he has powerful, world-ending power.
I actually have an old short story where he does, but ssshhh...actually that story kinda proves that if the world is hurting his s/o then he will hurt the world if he could---
Small notes
I was going to go with the classic red rose because he is in his heart and soul a deep romantic, but then I considered the black rose. Because it doesn't occur naturally, it's artificially made like how Charidynn made him into an artificial demon! But still with the romance vibes! Also edgy, bc mans is a bit edgy. :D....there's more symbolism but I'm too lazy for all that.
In most verses, Allisae was his first love/marriage and they were deeply in love. In any verse where he doesn't have Jaime, then he's either silently pining after Alli or madly in love her or some...very tragic thing bc my brain loves to hurt Kallen/Taeseong.
In regular verse, Jaime's existence is the only thing stopping Taeseong from succumbing to the curse. If she dies, Taeseong's sanity implodes. *makes eye contact with Hollis* So if Hollis decides to be mean then good luck, Lera--
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rebel-moon-obsessed · 7 months ago
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Moon Child, Chapter 3: en route to Daggus
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summary, details and links below the cut ❀
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Summary:
For the past decade, Kai has navigated the galaxy's seedy underbelly as a smuggler and bounty hunter, thriving on betrayal and darams. As business booms, he finds himself in need of a co-pilot.
Enter Thia, a mysterious and vexing addition to his crew. Despite her enigmatic nature and penchant for irritation, she proves herself capable in the cockpit.
With Thia by his side, Kai enjoys the newfound comfort of a second pilot, until a fateful encounter thrusts them both into a deal of unprecedented magnitude.
One that could spell fortune or doom for them both.
one sentence premise → "Rebel Moon, Part One" written from Kai's pov. Follows the movie closely with the addition of Thia (ofc) and a different ending (Kai doesn't die).
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Tags: action/adventure - canon universe - happy ending - falling in love - unrequited love for a long while - No Smut - original character(s) - pov 3rd person - Pov Kai - slow build - romance - he fell first - she's taking her goddamn time - trauma - canon compliant - but he lives - plot heavy - m/f - ofc - canon deaths - except for Kai - mofo lives -
Trigger Warnings: Past abuse - mention of Sexual Assault - mention of Sex Trafficking - mention of Prostitution - PTSD - Trauma -
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Author Notes:
"Moon Child" is a series of FanFics written in 3 parts. "Part One: cutthroat business", covers the first movie with the addition of my original female character, Thia. "Part Two : xxx", will cover the second movie with Kai being alive. "Part Three: xxx", will take place after the 2nd movie.
Part One should be between 13-16 chapters, each chapter being between 2k and 4k words. It's the whole movie re-written from Kai's point of view with added scenes and details, a few things are changed (such as dialogues) and of course there is also the presence of Thia which heavily impacts the plot.
This fic will heavily focus on the plot from Kai's point of view, the romance being sub plot and slow burn. It's unrequited love until either the end of part two or part three (still not decided). Kai's backstory and homeworld will be explored!
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links:
on wattpad -> Moon Child, Part One: Cutthroat Business
and ao3 -> Moon Child, Part One: Cutthroat Business
wiki page -> Moon Child Series
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I do hope you enjoy and please don't hesitate to interact/comment/leave a kudo/vote. It's the best way to express you enjoyed someone's work ❀
chapters published every friday!
happy reading ❀
EDIT: oops didn't realize I was using the same gifs from last post, changing them right now đŸ©”
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lloydfrontera · 11 months ago
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do you think it would be better if instead of the last-minute cramming of alloy romance into the last couple of chapters and an extra or two + a throwaway mention of Javier/silurian in the sequel, it was Javier/silurian written in the last couple of chapters and the extras, with rakiel mentioning in a throwaway manner that Lloyd ended up marrying Alicia?
alksdhsjka nooo that would actually be kinda worse imo lmao
like. my main issue with silurian is that giving her a love interest completely erases the point of her character. especially marrying her to someone like javier who by the end of the novel is a national hero so to speak. like. her entire thing was about her being overlooked for being a girl, being told the only thing she could do for her family and city was to marry well and have children that would eventually inherit her father's position and then proving that she's worth much more than that. that she deserves to be her father's heir more than anyone else ever could, not just because she's his goddamn daughter, but also because she's kind and courageous and has risked her life to protect her city.
yes eventually she would've had to marry to keep the family name alive. but i would argue that the only way to show that onscreen without erasing her arc would have been for her to marry completely out of love to an absolute nobody and then for her children to have her last name and not her husband's.
which is not what happens with javier! i mean, i don't know about the love part, javier really doesn't give a lot of details in the one line where he thinks about her, but their children carry the asrahan name and they have their own territory in the border of the empire. her legacy, her name, her city... none of it matters at all three hundred years later.
alicia gets to leave an empire, lloyd changes the history of construction and engineering in the whole continent, javier leaves a legacy of swordsmanship that is the signature move of the imperial family and silurian is... the mother of javier's children. that's all she's reduced to.
i don't like it! i'm sure it wasn't written in a deliberately malicious or misogynistic way but it doesn't sit right with me. and i don't think it's something that could be fixed just by giving their romance more screen time.
as for alloyd... there's very little that could make me feel okay with lloyd marrying into the royal family and leaving his home the way he very clearly and repeatedly expressed he didn't want to, but i guess not being explicitly shown that it happened fifteen days after he came back home, not being reminded that alicia is still under the influence of an external force that makes her trust lloyd over her own suspicions and not being told that lloyd's partner was chosen via a swordsmanship competition the most powerful swordsman in-universe wasn't allowed to participate in... i guess that could make it slightly more palatable. i suppose.
god i really am a little hater aren't i i am so sorry nonnie i promise to be nicer next time ajsjakskd
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eolewyn1010 · 6 months ago
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Charité, season 4 - episode 4
I'm here to spoiler, and don't say I didn't warn you!
"Two more Paleobacterium deaths" - not Maral's very first patient tho! He will conveniently stay alive until the very end.
Does anyone else think it'll be a depressing blow to Julia to come home and find that, when Maral finally puts in an effort into unpacking boxes to furnish their new home, all she unpacks is her work stuff?
"Extreme heat wave continues" - but we won't show our protagonists sweating! They have to look like models.
It's not that actress' fault, but her facial structure reminds me uncomfortably of season 2's Magda Goebbels. Plus, she's 1st, dressed like she has too much money (and she probably has if she can afford 4 in vitro treatments), and 2nd, remarkably unscathed for someone who has recently been in a car accident that ended fatally for another participant.
Julia. This woman is pregnant and very freshly widowed. Refer her to grief counseling?
Nurse Kachel is only around to literally open doors and talk some platitudes in Berlin dialect, huh?
Nice of Maral to give away a ticket for an event she planned to go visit with her wife. Oughta be good for the marriage.
Also, what do you mean "men's team or women's"? Does that mean sports are still segregated in a way that makes them inaccessible to nonbinary people?
Dylan, just report her. At this point, her trying to treat a patient is illegal. She should not even be in the tract.
With the background that Ferhat probably attempted suicide at some point, it feels hypocritical of him to be opposed to his patient choosing death over a living situation he deems unbearable.
Wait a minute. She's 16 weeks into pregnancy and already knows her baby is gonna be a boy. But Julia's test was the first that turned up the microplastic poisoning? How quickly does that develop / how incompetent was her previous doctor?
Come on, Julia, you can't be surprised that she's desperate to keep the baby.
I'm not entirely sure why they have to plant the child back in at all. If they have artificial (and completely disease-free) wombs at their disposal, wouldn't it be the safest course to keep the fetus in there until maturity?
It's very rude to develop a revolutionary kind of surgery and then not haste to train others to do it when it treats an issue that a ton of people worldwide are likely to have. 1st season at least had a reason for not many doctors knowing a certain kind of surgery - modern medicine was in its baby shoes and worldwide networking was scarce and slow. But with all that technology? Get teaching!
If you're suicidal, try romance! It solves all depressions! ...Honestly, fuck Ferhat. For someone who also gets to do psychotherapeutic treatment, he's so bad at human emotions.
Marlene is one of very few characters this season I give a damn about, and she's being stood up by this dumbass Ferhat. Ugh.
Maral. Wine is not a balanced diet.
"You wanna talk about your work? No, I get to complain about my work now!" Maral, you suck as a wife.
And then, literally just after that, she has the absolute GALL to accuse Julia of not listening to her about her problems! What the actual fuck. Maral, you suck as a wife!
You also have no right to deny Julia information about her son.
"From my perspective, yes." Have you ever talked to your wife in the past weeks, even once? Sheesh.
That telling-off was so overdue. So obviously, the next thing Maral does? Get drunk, be a workaholic, and go to extremes to prove a point! Woo! It's feminism when it's women who make the bad choices! I hope she knows she's on one level with Robert Koch now. And that is so not a compliment.
Discount Daniel StrĂ€ĂŸer would seem even shadier if I he weren't surrounded by bad CGI.
Thanks, Nils, for calling Maral the asshole that she is.
Emilia, if you think Charité has to protect its precious reputation, you go and solve the medical mysteries yourself.
Wow. Wow, Ferhat. This episode is titled "Courage", not "Violation Of Your Patient's Bodily Autonomy". wtf, why is this guy a doctor.
Dylan, you should have Maral arrested. She's a walking (ok, lying-down) breach of infection protection law.
Way to go, Julia! And please change your gloves before you operate any further. That's fucking disgusting.
Does anyone else find it sus that Dylan, Maral's declared but male rival at the hospital whom she keeps trashtalking and tyrannizing at work, gets to look so much more affectionate with her than her actual wife?
Thoughts on this season's questionable queer rep aside - my problem is that Maral's behavior doesn't feel as though she wants to save lives. It feels like she wants to prove at any cost that she is right. That is an unsympathetic feature in everyone and a potentially catastrophic one in a doctor. And Ferhat isn't far behind. Are these supposed to be protagonists?
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