#but so are his crewmates
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One Piece AU: Dadan’s marriage dream: East Blue Saga
Luffi's journey has begun. Before entering the Grand Line, he found no less than 4 candidates: Gaimon, Zeff, Genzo and Dragon!
And without a doubt his favourite is Zeff! After all, two chefs in the family are better than one! Of course, Sanji alas is not convinced by the idea. Gaimon sadly dropped out of the competition. Genzo was quite a strong player. And our dear sisters were interested in matchmaking to some extent, but unfortunately extracting information from Luffy is not as easy as it seems. As for Dragon, despite meeting his son a couple of times in this AU, Luffy did not recognise him in the commotion. The question about Luffy's upbringing comes from the fact that he is unaware that his father's visits were only slightly more frequent than his own. Unfortunately for him, the idea of marriage has been picked up by Sabo and Koala, who, through a snail, informs Iva of this particular verbal exchange …
Sabo is currently particularly interested in whether Dragon and Dadan know each other. Koala simply believes that marriage could help with his image.
Dadan’s marriage dream: How it started? -> Link Luffy's Pirate Voyage -> Part 1 (East Blue) ~ here we are ~ -> Part 2 (Alabasta) ✨in plans✨
#Dadan's marriage dream#one piece#east blue saga#straw hat luffy#monkey d luffy#one piece luffy#revolutionary sabo#flame emperor sabo#one piece sabo#monkey d dragon#one piece koala#one piece gaimon#one piece genzo#one piece nojiko#one piece nami#cat bulgar nami#one piece zeff#red leg zeff#one piece sanji#black leg sanji#I'm not sure why I do this in color#but I do like it this way#Luffy is the gremlin#but so are his crewmates#Dragon really thought Garp was seeing his grandchildren more often#he was wrong
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i've been thinking about exactly why people portraying one of the other crew members successfully killing Jimmy as a "for what you did to Anya" kind of thing rubs me the wrong way a bit and it's because like..... this is just another form of taking agency away from Anya, in a way. it's kind of framing her as some meek, shivery woman-thing who's entirely at the mercy of the men around her, either to hurt her or save her.
(i understand these are mostly for wish fulfillment on the audience's behalf because everyone would like to see Jimmy pay for his crimes. whether or not this is the intention of the person writing it isn't really relevant, characterization happens with or without intent. i feel like it misses the point by portraying it as an 'ideal ending'.)
because... Anya is a capable person. she takes things into her own hands when she can. it was partially(?) her idea to get into the cargo,
(before he interrupts her.. remember when she interrupted Curly in the dead pixel segment?)
it was her idea to get the code scanner from the cockpit,
it was her idea to get the medication from behind the foam.
(the chance to do these things herself is not given to her.)
she'd been keeping Curly alive for months in a critical state somehow, her psych evaluations at the start are only so useless because Jimmy refuses to take it/her seriously and Curly is obviously biased when he puts it into his own hands. he's known him a long time, like he said. "I'll just put good for that one."
there's not a lot of material to work with because of how the game is framed, but it's there. we are working with two very biased perspectives and neither one lends Anya what she deserves
there's significant changes in how she speaks post- and pre- crash, and depending on who she happens to be talking to. i recommend re-reading her dialogue, because the difference is drastic
she acts the way she does around Jimmy because he has tangibly done horrible things to her, is actively hostile, and physically could not escape him by any means. she can't take away Curly's agency herself, in my eyes. you have to remember that Especially in the post-crash segments of the game, it's entirely from Jimmy's POV, and he obviously does not (and has never) thought very highly of her or treated her with a shred of respect
i've seen a general idea that she can't bear to hurt other people for any reason, but that doesn't really track to me. this is the real point of the post by the way
it seems based on the parts where she says she struggles to give Curly medication. "It just hurts him so much, I can't stand the noise." "It makes me nauseous."
it's not really the same thing as, say, hurting someone in self defense
this sounds like she did want the gun itself. this never felt worded like someone who would refuse to, at very least, threaten Jimmy with a gun, with violence. if she had been given the agency to make that decision on her own. she wasn't though
she still tries to reclaim some of it even as she's denied it
by the end she's still trying to keep that gun out of his hands
i think some people overly soften her, for similar reasons the game itself is trying to comment on. she's not a tender victim who couldn't cause pain to another out of the softness of her soul, she's a person who's had every last bit of agency ripped from her repeatedly until she couldn't take it anymore. that's the point. that's why framing her that way, "needing" someone to save her, is odd to me
she didn't need Curly to save her, she needed him to take responsibility
she didn't want to escalate things, but she's not an idiot. self defense was absolutely on her mind
but who knows im just saying shit *smiles serenely*
#dib noise#mouthwashing#sorryyyyyyyyy lol#i will defend you anya o7#its been fun to roll this game around in my brain. gives me something to do#long post#could be reaching though. it's unfortunate so much of her screentime is hammering home how poorly jimmy regards her#or her being scared/nervous in his presence#or trying to placate him#yes i know that's the point#are my feelings on how anya is treated by the the characters the fans and the game itself weirdly personal? yeah sorry#unfortunately i do think they didn't get the anya parts as solidly as the rest but oh well#everything has flaws#i've gone through a playthrough of this game like 10 times for this#you KNOW im sourcing my claims!!#not really an attack on the people who made the stuff i mentioned at the start#more of a commentary on how they relate with the source material itself#yes yes i know giving a crewmate a lethal weapon is probably not the best idea to curly#does that make this situation any less horrifying?#remember: these aren't real people. everything they do was written on purpose for a reason#i still need to write down my general thoughts on the game as a whole..#also not about one specific person post image writing ect it's a collection of things and ideas thrown onto one post#I'm not any good at ending posts like thase it kind of devolves by yhe end but thats ok
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zoro who is so caught off guard by sanji’s kinder actions towards him is one of my favorite tropes. sanji crafting him specialized post workout snacks personally adjusted for him but still down to fight and call him names. he’s still the biggest asshole zoro has ever had the displeasure of knowing, and he’s horribly considerate. he’s a little confused but doesn’t reject any of sanji’s specialized treats. it’s not like sanji is fawning and doting over him like he does nami, so zoro feels like he can cross off sanji actually liking him from his list of reasons as to why sanji is acting like this. but it’s still fucking strange..
meanwhile sanji is in his kitchen wondering how zoro hasn’t taken a damn hint yet
#i always thought sanji was really weird about showing affection to anybody who isnt nami or robin#bcz with them its just second nature like he likes them so much its so easy to shower them in love#meanwhile you have ZORO who is like#‘is that asshole trying to kill me?’#zoro who thinks its similar to when you get a dog excited to get into the car only for them to go to the vet#thinks sanji is ‘buttering him up’ for his own sick desire#sanji whose sick desire is literally just to make snacks for his crewmate as a display of care#doesnt even have to be romantic just wants to show a bit of appreciation#still tagging as zosan because. luv my babas#zoro: wtf is your problem#sanji who just made him lunch: MY problem??#zosan#one piece#txt#roronoa zoro#headcanon#sanji#vinsmoke sanji#zoro#prompt
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Lassen shoots his shot right out there in front of the entire crew and Freddie’s only response is “Hmmmmm….try harder :) :) :)”
#what’s funny is how Lassen is 100% ready to take that challenge#like sorry on the list of most unhinged ways to respond to a crewmate’s sudden interest in you#’you’ll have to catch me first’ is way up there#ministry of ungentlemanly warfare#anders lassen#i also laugh so hard every time at appleyard’s incredibly loud ANYWAY#hey can someone help me i’m developing brainrot over two characters in a guy ritchie film and their ten seconds of flirting#guy ritchie when i find you…#how dare you just give me *ONE* scene of intense flirting between the two most unhinged members of the crew#played by two incredibly attractive actors#costume design went crazy in that film- alan ritchson always looks one flex away from busting through his shirts#someone stop me from seeing it again…even tho i just saw it again
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Mihawk is coming back from a mission, strolling from the shore of Karai Bari, and over to his personal tent to rest and have a much desired bath. Cross Guild is still fairly new, dynamics are still being smoothed out, and he's still getting used to constantly being around so many people.
He just wants to relax, but Crocodile still amanges to catch him along the way. "Welcome home," he says to Mihawk.
Mihawk just nods and continues on, but his brow raises just a smidge.
Then, he sees Buggy coming towards him further ahead.
Why is his tent so far away?
"Welcome back, Hawky!" Buggy says, full of cheer. "Glad you made it home!"
Mihawk acknowledges him much the same way he did Crocodile, and keeps walking.
As he continues on, something keeps repeating in his mind. "Welcome home. Glad you made it home! Home....Home."
When he reaches his tent, he sets down Yoru and hangs up his coat, letting his bare skin breath and sweat dissipate. He sits on his bed, looking around his space. This is it. This is his home now. This tent holds all his few possessions that he brought with him from Kuraigana. This is where he sleeps at night. This is where he can come back to, safe. This is home now.
Something catches his tired glance. A tray sitting on his desk. He gets up to go look at it, finding filled with sweet treats. Cookies, pastries, and a few pieces of fruit. There was also some scented bath oils in a small basket close by with a note attached. He recognized Buggy's handwriting.
'Welcome home! Time to relax!'
Again. Same phrase.
A slight tingle runs up his arms and back. It settles low in his chest and draws the weight away from his shoulders. He breathes.
The wind rustles the canvas of his tent.
This feels...nice.
This is home now.
This is his home.
#I feel like Mihawk would have the hardest time adjusting to the new living situation that is Cross Guild#Luckily he had practice with Perona and Zoro but still#He doesn't exactly want to be there. He was forced to leave Kuraigana. This is a business and survival situation.#So I'd imagine it might take him awhile to get comfortable there and fully come to accept his new crewmates/business partners#dracule mihawk#buggy the clown#sir crocodile#cross guild#bughawk#If you squint
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2. Art inspired by @kanronotatsu's There's things I want to say to you (but I'll just let you live) ( 1 | 3 | 4 )
#백설공주에게 죽음을#nohgoh#black out#snow white must die#fanart#I'm this close to breaking my hands lmao#it's the end of the month so it's been hella busy#had to finish this real quick cuz I wanted to do another fanfic to fanart#as for the hug scene I was really torn#I really liked the line where SC opened his arms to preclude the hug#but also the hug itself and them whispering I love you#but the open arms won in the end#ngl i really really enjoyed drawing that last one#hehe#no one better post this outside of tumblr#istfg#this remains between us crewmates#myart#frouponicart
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Ladies and gentlemen of the bad kids genderfuckery jury may I offer: Genderfluid Fabian
#gender norms are dead I dance now and what have you#more people should draw fabain in a skirt#he learns minor illusion purely for this reason#he comes out to terpsichore and she’s like ‘a true dancer. not only are you fluid on stage but in your soul as well. now do 15 pirouettes’#fabian tells her dad and his response is ‘he’s-sorry she’s her own darling manboygirlwoman!’#‘you know I had a crewmate that was like that! she was also part frog so that could’ve been part of it’#autism (mads) speaks#fabian aramais seacaster#fabian seacaster#fantasy high
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Meme draw over and fanart of Clay by @sillyweird
LOOK AT HIM. LOOK AT THIS CUTE GREMLIN WITH YOUR EYES.
#lethal company#masked#clay oc#not my art#socked meme#he kept stealing the crewmates#so his punishment was the sock#look how cute he ISSSSS AAAAAA
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Even more Outlander scenarios (feat Makuu and Hodari)
And taking it waaaaayyy too seriously bc of course they do nghfgfgfgd
(Ik there are two Kiburi and Makuu scenarios but I like playing around with it)
They would do this ONLY if it was for Ucheshi’s sake. They both love her in their own way and would do anything for her, so they would absolutely put their differences aside if she was in trouble
They’d honestly train each other in combat but I can see Kenge teaching Kiburi a couple of moves :)
It’s funny cuz it also works the other way around thanks to my demon Njano au lmao. But wizard Njano and demon Kenge sounds like a duo that’s really badass but really funny at the same time
WAIT THIS IS BRINGING ME BACK TO MY ONE CRACKSHIP IDEA BFHFGFGFHF. As an alternative to Njano x Hodari, Hodari sniffs the magic flower (the equivalent to a love potion) and now you got a tiny gecko falling in love with a big angry lizard
Idk who would hire HIM of all animals but I can definitely see it happening with a little help from the skinks! But being Janja, the spying backfires horribly 😭
OOOH THAT’S PERFECT FOR A HUMAN OR ZOOTOPIA AU! I can see Ushari wearing a suit and tie and Shupavu in a gorgeous red slitted dress
It probably takes a lot to get Kiburi to admit to something but chances are, Njano already knows about it hfhfhf
But it could also be talking about Kiburi confronting Njano about something NJANO has done in which case Njano’s just sitting there smiling like the little shit he is
“Despite being at a loss for words, Kiburi yelled at me for the next 45 minutes”
YOU FUCKING WOULD YOU FATASS JFHFHDHD
This is why Tamka and Nyororo could never be roommates cuz Tamka eats everything 😭
Nyororo: Tamka, did you eat the sweets that were in the cupboard?
Tamka: *with his mouth covered in chocolate* No…
Nyororo: Tamka, it had everything! Cookies, chocolate, fruit snacks-
Tamka: Don’t forget the lollipo—shit…
Hey, it’s the pirate au!! I can imagine Nyata not really paying attention and suddenly finding herself on Kiburi’s ship and she’s like “I’m on a pirate ship, aren’t I?”. Dw tho Nduli makes sure she gets home safetly :)
#these are way too fun to do lmao#the tamka and nyororo one is so funny to me#nduli would probably try to hide nyata from his crewmates in the pirate au tho#tlg outlanders#the lion guard
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adding this to my ragh and fabian toxic yaoi evidence folder
#these two.......#also kristens 'oh!'#after this scene tracker comes up to kristen and is like??? fabian and ragh are together??#and kristen is like huh yeah ig they are. didn't know fabian swung that way#like YEAH fabian doesn't either yet!!!#he's so. clueless bisexual coded#and tbf he's just as clueless about his affection for women too i think#like to him loving women is about status and conquest and loving men is about impossibly close comradery#like i dont think he's got a realistic or healthy concept of what romance looks like with anyone at this point lmao#the way a pirate loves and saves women as a way to prove hes a man#and the way a pirate loves his crewmates as irreplaceable comrades to the point of homoeroticism#i'm just saying he's so real for it and it makes me like. unwell.#fabian seacaster#fantasy high#kristen applebees#adaine abernant#ragh barkrock#fantasy high sophomore year
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not this mf getting his ass electrocuted for a second time (five minutes after this dialogue happened) so that both Nami AND Usopp could escape.
#like who tf are you trying to convince here? yourself?#i find it so fucking funny that the only difference between caring he shows towards his male and female crewmates#is his bitchy demeanor while talking to males.#but then i remember why he's so hostile towards men and i usually start crying ughhh i love my loser sm.#one piece#black leg sanji#usopp
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I know the dudebros who pitched the theory of Zoro scarring (possibly removing) his very own eye in order to draw out his Observation Haki did so because they thought it was cool and badass. But personally. I’d be fucking devastated man. Thinking of the context and specially considering Zoro’s mental state in Kuraigana Island after being left in pieces by Kuma and discovering he’d failed to be there for Luffy at Marineford- listen. He’s always been portrayed as having very self-punishing tendencies since at least Alabasta, so if this was truly what happened, I don’t think it’d be portrayed as an empowering moment of manliness at all. I certainly wouldn’t want it to be.
#do you understand what I’m getting at like hurting yourself so permanently at a vague attempt to become powerful just a little bit faster is#NOT GOOD. like listen to the hypothetical theyre posing about why Zoro would do that to himself#Its far more akin to Sanji allowing himself to be beaten almost to death by a woman due to his principles (frowned upon by the narrative)#Than Zoro allowing himself to be struck down by Mihawk in order to fall honorably (praised by the narrative!)#(because one is a meaningless sacrifice for arbitrary reasons and the other is a sacrifice meant to honor a dream and an oponent)#Since we know that eyeball removal isnt the only way to get observation haki then the gesture would be meaningless#just the result of a warped mentality regarding his own strength and role as a crewmate#if Oda wanted to take Zoro’s story down that path at any point in the story (not entirely unlikely?)#I doubt it would play out the way some of these dudes on twitter and reddit theorize. The tone they use when discussing this eye theory-#-just seems out of place to me.#roronoa zoro#one piece#my post
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Grudge Dolph - Hawkins Pirates
Going for a creepy scarecrow-type pose for our creepy voodoo pirates.
Moccasin-type shoes with miniature figureheads protruding from the front. Brown striped canvas skirt with tan patches sewn in, and a thick brown belt with little voodoo-heads hanging from it. Plain black button up shirt with the roger on the back (not pictured). Long blond hair and a nail-through-the-head gag like the roger, a single red candle earring, and black face paint around the mouth and eyes and in two lines down the face to resemble the roger.
#another creepy ship#fanart#one piece#cosplay ideas#one piece fanart#one piece fleet#cosplay#hawkins pirates#grudge dolph#basil hawkins#if i'm being honest I hate hawkins more than anyone else in one piece#yeah I know blackbeard exists#dofi exists#but Hawkins is a CLASS TRAITOR#and a coward#and there's nothing I hate more than a class traitor and and coward#if you're gonna be evil it better be because you're thriving not because you're a coward#also I hate his power so much#how does he have any crewmates???#no one can be on his crew of their own volition#he uses his crewmates as human shields no one signs up for that#oops carried away in the tags#enjoy
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scribbling down some stuff for an idea that's been poking at me for the past few days
#captain harlock#space pirate captain harlock#spch#tochiro oyama#digital#art#sketchbook#i feel better putting big blocks of text in the tags rather than the body so#the basic idea is that harlock is the one to die#rather than tochiro#and that in order to fulfill their dream tochiro takes up the role of captaining the arcadia and even uses the 'captain harlock' moniker#both to honor his friend and because the name has become more of a symbol#and harlock himself is the one to become the 42nd crewmate/inhabit the arcadia computer#i do not have a good idea of what becomes of mayu and emereldas in this au admittedly#since im kinda going for a mix of 78 and 84 here :P#anywho :P
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When Sanji is bitten by a spider that has eaten the Cupid-Cupid Fruit, the Straw Hats learn there is only one way to cure his illness.
A genuine love confession.
There’s only one crewmate capable of the job.
(read on ao3!!)
—
The Straw Hats have stopped at a small summer island to gather supplies, stock up on necessities, and do any repairs to the Sunny.
When the bulk of the hard work has been done, their captain insists on a bonfire, having found a perfect clearing in the forest.
Sanji’s by the grill, cooking up plenty of burgers, hotdogs, kebabs, and other barbecued treats to fill his crew’s voracious appetites.
He happily watches his crew enjoy their afternoon—Brook’s violin emitting a joyful tune, Nami and Robin engaged in an intense game of cards, Franky enthusiastically sketching something onto a large page, Zoro fast asleep on the grass, and Luffy, Chopper, and Usopp running around as they play their own variation of tag.
Perhaps Sanji’s gaze is drawn to one of his crewmates in particular, following the flow of his curly hair, smiling at the sound of his laughter.
Perhaps. Sanji won’t tell.
“Woah! Look at that!”
The rowdy trio’s game of tag comes to a halt at Chopper’s cry. Luffy and Usopp look to where the reindeer is pointing, their eyes lighting up when they spot the thing that caught his attention.
“Cool!” Luffy begins to race over, but he’s stopped by Usopp.
“Wait! Don’t run, you’ll scare it!”
The trio carefully make their way over to a nearby tree, their attention grabbed by a fairly large spider.
Sanji shudders when he sees the creature. He looks away, focusing on the food. He is not interested in the further details of their exploration.
Luffy, Chopper, and Usopp fawn over the spider, speculating on its species and origins.
“It’s markings kinda look like hearts,” Usopp observes. “They’re even a pinkish-red colour.”
“Aw, so cute!” Chopper squeals.
“I’m gonna name it Cupid!” Luffy declares. “That guy’s in charge of hearts ‘n stuff, right? This lil' girl could be his pet or something,” he laughs.
A bit later, Sanji calls out to them. “Oi, get your asses over here, the food’s ready! And wash your hands if you’ve been touching bugs!”
Saying their goodbyes to Cupid, the boys rush over to claim their dinner.
The crew happily enjoys their meal, thanking Sanji with wide grins that only get wider when he presents them with dessert.
As the evening turns to night, the crew wind down, packing away their belongings and making their way back to the Sunny.
“Are you sure we can’t stay and camp?” Luffy whines. “It’s like, the perfect night for it! We've got the perfect spot!”
“No,” Nami denies flatly. “We didn’t bring the stuff for it and it’s already getting late. Plus, I want to sleep in my own bed. Now hurry up and get going! Franky! Turn on your flashlights, I can’t see!”
“One set of nipple lights, comin’ up! Ow!”
Usopp and Sanji take up the rear, picking up the last of Sanji’s portable kitchen gear. The chef is happily listening to the sniper’s latest tale when he feels a pinch on his ankle.
“Ow! What the hell?”
“Sanji! Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I think something just bit me.”
Usopp looks in the grass, trying to find the culprit. When he does, he gasps. “It’s the spider from before! Cupid, why’d you go and bite Sanji? That’s not nice!”
“‘Cause it’s a good for nothing insect,” Sanji grumbles.
“Actually, it’s an arachnid—”
“You better not have poisoned me, you stupid bug,” Sanji yells at the spider, which scurries away.
“It’d be venom, not poison.”
“You are not helping!” Sanji snaps. “What is this, a Robin impression? Stop with the unnecessary bug facts, this shit hurts!”
“Does it really? You should get Chopper to look at it as soon as we get back to the ship. Here, gimme your stuff, I’ll carry if for you.”
“I can carry it myself, asshole. I’m not that weak.”
“Really? ‘Cause if you’re in pain, the Great Usopp would be more than happy to carry you back to the Sunny.” Usopp smirks and flexes his muscular arms, sending Sanji a wink.
Sanji pretends like his heart isn’t trying to escape his chest and throw itself at Usopp’s feet.
Internally, Sanji is a mess. Externally, he rolls his eyes and hefts his baggage further in his arms.
“You do two push-ups and think you’re a strong guy now, huh? C’mon, let’s go before any other bugs try to make a meal outta me.”
When they make it back to the Sunny, all of their things put away, Usopp continues to hover by Sanji, his concern rising with each passing moment.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Usopp asks. “You’re all red. You shouldn’t be sweating this much.”
“‘M fine,” Sanji mumbles. The way he sways on the spot doesn’t do much to help his case.
Usopp holds him steady, in full crisis mode as he watches the usually stable chef falter. He hoists Sanji in his arms, dashing to the infirmary. “CHOPPER!”
“What happened?” the doctor asks. Usopp puts Sanji on the bed and recounts the tale.
By now, the rest of the crew has come to investigate the cause of the commotion. They all stand in the doorway, shocked to see their crewmate suddenly so ill.
“It’s only been like 20 minutes! Why does he look bad already? Sanji, don’t die!”
Usopp’s dramatic cry unfortunately has some merit. Sanji doesn’t look well. He is the complete opposite of the perfect picture of health he was less than an hour ago. In just a few minutes, Sanji seems to have lost all of his energy. He’s flushed and sweating, breathing heavily and brows furrowed as he fights some type of pain. Even his usually shiny hair is limp and brittle-looking.
Usopp’s heart positively breaks at the sight.
“I can’t make him a proper anti-venom without knowing exactly what type of spider that was,” Chopper states. He clicks his tongue as he looks at the inflamed, red bite mark on Sanji’s ankle.
“Brook, you help me get Sanji out of this suit. Everyone else, get out so I can treat him. Now!”
The rest of the crew gather on the deck, concern on all of their faces.
“Usopp,” Robin says, pulling the sniper from his worsening spiral of anxiety. “You said Sanji was bit by the same spider that you saw in the forest, right? Draw me a picture. We can use it to get information from the locals.”
Usopp nods. He runs off to the galley and grabs a sketchpad nestled between Sanji’s collection of recipes and cookbooks. Before long, he’s got multiple drawings of the spider, complete with colours and accurate depictions of its heart-shaped markings.
Franky and Nami go to the hospital to ask about an anti-venom while Luffy, Zoro, and Robin go ask around town.
On the Sunny, Usopp paces back and forth, biting his nails and their beds away to nothing as worry engulfs him. He peeks into the infirmary, heart breaking a little more every time he catches a glimpse of Sanji’s pained face.
“Sanji will be alright,” Brook assures him when he exits the room. “He’s stable for now. Our cook is strong. He’s got the best doctor caring for him and crewmates desperately seeking out information. He’ll pull through.”
Usopp tries his very best to believe him.
The rest of the crew returns to the Sunny in less than an hour. Everyone, except Sanji, who’s resting in the infirmary, gathers at the kitchen table.
“Turns out that our little spider has eaten a Devil Fruit,” Robin tells them. “Everyone in the area is familiar with the spider that has eaten the Cupid-Cupid fruit.”
“Wait, the spider is actually related to Cupid? That’s hilarious! I’m like a fortune teller! Hahahaha! Ow!” Luffy rubs his sore head, pouting at Nami.
“A bite from the Cupid Spider can do multiple things, depending on who is bitten," Robin continues. "However, it only causes illness in someone who has a requited love but has not actually expressed their love. To save Sanji, whoever is in love with him must tell him the breadth of their true feelings, lest he remain bedridden forever. Or worse.”
The crew sits in silence for a moment, reflecting on the information.
“Alright, who’s in love with Sanji?” Luffy demands.
All eyes go to Usopp.
He is so red in the face Chopper is concerned he'll pass out. His eyes are so wide Zoro wonders if they'll pop out of his head.
"What are you waiting for?" Nami cries. "Get in there and confess your love so Sanji gets better!"
"I-I-I-I-I-I'm not—"
"Oh, please, this is not the time for your anxious, denial bullshit! Go fix Sanji!"
"Can't we just kill the spider instead?" he suggests meekly.
Luffy and Chopper gasp in betrayal.
"That would be a bad idea," Robin warns. "That spider is very well-respected on this island. Causing it harm would no doubt incur the wrath of all the locals. There is nothing you can do but speak from the heart."
"You got this, Usopp-bro! Just tell Sanji how you feel! It'll turn out super!"
On stiff legs and with wobbly knees, Usopp leaves the galley and makes his way back to the infirmary, deaf to the sounds of his crew's encouragements.
Despite his desperate pleas to the universe, Sanji is awake when Usopp steps inside. He looks even worse than before. His skin is pale, covered in a sheen of sweat. His eyes are lidded and he's got bags under them like he hasn't slept in days. But even still, a smile lights up his face when he sees the sniper.
"Usopp," he says, voice quiet and raspier than usual. His smile is no less bright.
"Sanji," Usopp returns, taking a seat next to the bed. "I've got news. So, turns out that the spider that bit you has a Devil Fruit power."
Sanji scoffs. "Of course it does. Just my fucking luck. So, what? It ate the Sick-Sick fruit and now I'll feel like shit forever?"
Usopp chuckles drily. "No, nothing like that. We can actually help you pretty easily. Or, I can, anyway. I just... I have to... to..."
The sniper closes his eyes as a fresh wave of anxiety washes over him. He can't do this! It's too scary! But he has to.
How many times has he been in this position? Forced to watch someone he loves suffer from an illness, unable to do anything but try and distract them from their pain.
This time is different. Usopp can stop this. He can stop Sanji's suffering. All he has to do is be honest.
Well, best to rip off the band-aid.
Taking a deep breath, Usopp grabs Sanji's clammy hand in both of his. "I love you!"
"I-I've loved you for a long time, Sanji," Usopp admits, and the words start flowing, unable to stop. "I don't know when exactly it started, but I know that I do because I think you're so amazing! You're so cool, and strong, and talented. I love that you act all grumpy but you're actually extremely kind and considerate. I love spending time with you! I love it when you tell me stories about Zeff and the Baratie. I love that you always ask me questions when I'm telling you about something because you make me feel heard. I love that you always wrap your arms around me when we party. I love it when you smile at me and dance with me.
"I love how you look in the early morning and when the sun is setting. Well, I love how you look all the time because you're so gorgeous it isn't fair! All handsome and pretty at the same time. You dress nice, and you smell nice, and you make me food and protect me—! Sanji, I love you!
"I'm sorry it took a stupid spider to force me to say it but I lov-"
Usopp's speech is cut off as desperate lips meet his own. He melts into Sanji's embrace, returning the kiss with all he's got. His heart is beating so fast he thinks it might pop right out of his chest, but nothing could possibly take him away from this moment.
When they pull apart, foreheads resting against one another, Usopp is taken aback by Sanji's appearance. He looks as healthy as ever, save for his very intense blush. But his eyes are shining and his smile is hopeful and adoring.
"Do you mean it, Usopp? Do you really feel that way about me?"
"I do. A-And you? D-do you feel...?"
"The same," Sanji promises. "Everything that you said, I feel the same way. Usopp, I love you! I—did you really just cure me with a love confession?"
Usopp blinks, and then he bursts out into laughter. Sanji joins him, the two holding one another as they laugh at the absurdity of the situation, their hearts full to bursting.
"Anything is possible on the Grand Line," Usopp reminds him. "Especially for the number one lover on the seas, the great Captain Usopp!"
"Number one lover, huh? I don't know if I believe that." Sanji pulls Usopp in close, whispering into his ear. "I think you'll have to show me."
"T-that can be arranged."
Usopp leans in and Sanji goes to meet him, lips pressing together again, and again, and again.
#btw robin was 100% lying about the islanders caring about the spiders they do not give af#but she had to make sure her crewmates got together!! what a good friend#poor chopper couldn't go back into the infirmary all night#believe it or not this was supposed to be a drabble or fic outline...... idk what happened#i just wanted an excuse to write sanuso and the strawhats. sue me.#this was so fun i love these two!!! sanji HATES that a bug can be accredited to his relationship btw. usopp loves it.#'she was our guardian angel!! our cupid!!' 'NO!!!!!'#i couldn't figure out how to include this but the more in love u are the worse ur symptoms. which is why sanji was so sick so fast.#he was too gay and too in love WOW that's hilarious. i love them.#sanuso#usosan#sanji#usopp.#black leg sanji#god usopp#one piece#strawhats#red's fic
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me at 11pm watching another creepy ass voyager episode about vidiians
#i think i will have terrible nightmares about them#why is voyager so CREEPY#and the one that killed their crewmate and put crewmate's face onto his so that klingon belanna would like him more GET THE FUCK OUT#thank god she killed him omg that was so bad i need something chill to relax#star trek#star trek voyager#st voyager#st voy#star trek voy#b'elanna torres#b'elanna
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