#but seasonal is about to hit h a R d this year

[vacantgodling]

I LOVE JOY AND WHIMSEY I LOVE IT I AM CLINGING ONTO IT I AM BREAKING MYSELF BUT FOR FUCKS SAKE I WILL LOVE IT AND LIVE

[mcgnagallsarmy]

Spuffy style Reading Challenge - #28: Alphabet Soup Challenge #2

A:

At Ease by The Danish Bird [NC-17]

Even with her eyes closed, Buffy would recognise this place in a second, and for a moment she wondered if she truly had ended up in a hell dimension this time. One that had doomed her to an eternity of Doublemeat Palace workdays. Buffy felt her lips moving, heard her own voice speaking, and as she opened her eyes she decided that a hell dimension definitely wasn’t ruled out just yet. “Welcome to the Doublemeat Palace, how may I help – “ She stared into Riley��s scarred face as she completed her sentence. “– you.” Her mom, Sunnydale, her home, Spike – There are many things Buffy misses in her life, but if she had gotten the choice to revisit a day that had already passed, this would so not be it!

B:

The Bad Penny by OffYourBird [R]

Six years ago, Buffy made a home in a new dimension with a Spike who defied every rule to be by her side. Now it’s time to put to rest unfinished business in her original dimension. However, a visit there quickly turns apocalyptic, and at the heart of it is the two vampires who set Buffy's original journey in motion, and both of them have a lot of explaining to do.

C:

Christmas Date by bewildered [NC-17]

Christmas Eve in Cleveland, 2004. Holiday request from Dark. Squeaking it in for the end of the Christmas Season. (It's only the 9th day of Christmas! That counts!)

D:

Drive by Holly [NC-17]

Freshly turned and very grumpy about it, Buffy finds herself in a weird place. One where her friends smell like food, her former mortal enemy smells like heaven, and the so-called love of her life has made it clear that killing her is on his to-do list. Throw in some overly zealous army guys and this is not Buffy's idea of a party. So she and Spike decide to hit the road at least long enough to figure out why neither of them can hit anything else. And since they're both single and free, well, Buffy wouldn't say no to a distraction from the never-ending laugh riot that is her life. And Spike can be very, very distracting. Good thing soulless vampires can't fall in love or she might be in trouble.

E:

Embers by Dusty [NC-17]

Spike's the best boyfriend. He fulfills all of Buffy's fantasies. All of them.

F:

Favor by EllieRose101 [NC-17]

Spike asks an impossible thing of Buffy––and is stunned when she says yes. Could he really have gone up in her estimation?

G:

Golden Hour by kennedynoelle [R]

Response to a challenge set by emilise: Spike never came to Sunnydale during the first few seasons. The first time Buffy sees him is during The Harsh Light of Day, sunbathing on campus adorned with the Gem of Amara. Oh no, she thinks, the pit of her stomach dropping and sending tinglies all over, he's hot. They start dating, Buffy unaware that her new boyfriend is a member of the undead. Of course, she has to find out eventually…

H:

The Halloween Series by spike_spetslayer [NC-17]

Buffy and Spike make an unbreakable pact during their first real confrontation in Season 2. Story includes spoilers from season 2 through season 7.

I:

If I Loved You Less by MillennialCryBaby [NC-17]

How long had Spike been gone? 147 days. 148 at midnight. Except maybe today won't count?

J:

Just to Reach You by Sunalso [R]

Post-Series. Spike and Buffy have been a couple for almost two years. The honeymoon is over and together they're discovering they still have a lot to learn about themselves, each other, and how this whole "normal" relationship thing works.

K:

Kaleidoscope by Lirazel [PG-13]

"Can you tell me, is this love that I'm seeing?" One by one, the people in Buffy and Spike's lives try to add up the obvious.

L:

Let it Burn! by Axell [Adult Only]

Her eyes followed the blood. Summers blood. She counted the drops. Ten. Then it stopped. If Dawn dies, I’m through. I don’t want to live in a world if these are the choices. Slowly, her head rose up. Their eyes met. Green and amber. A look passed between them then a nod. Her own voice echoed into her mind. I’m counting on you. To avenge her. Us. He made a promise. Until dusk will swallow them all.

M:

Melting Fire by Freecat [R]

Set right after Dead Things. The night after, all he wants is talk. The night after, there’s nothing she wants less than talking. And suddenly they find themselves in another dimension; one that Buffy can’t leave. There’s only one way to get her out. A way with consequences.

N:

Night Swimming by Geliot99 [R]

An unexpected heatwave in mid-March is reason enough for an impromptu pool party for the Scoobies. But when Richard takes a second stab* at winning Buffy's affections, Spike is all too keen to show her how much fun night swimming with a vampire can really be… *see what I did there? Set between 'Older and Far Away' and 'As You Were'

O:

One Step Away by violettathepiratequeen [PG]

Spike knows the way she dances. Not even Faith in Buffy's body can fool him.

P:

Pardon My French by Girlytek [R]

In retrospect, it was probably a bad idea to let Buffy perform a spell in French. Begins at No Place Like Home.

Q:

Quake by Holly [NC-17]

Following Tutor. Riley's kiss did nothing for her, which clearly means her night with Spike didn't take. But since the world is probably ending, Buffy decides one more lesson couldn't hurt.

R:

Rock Solid by Passion4Spike [NC-17]

Buffy comes to some realizations about herself, the nature of her love, and her feelings for Spike on the eve of the biggest fight of her life, but will it be too little, too late? Spoiler Alert: No, it won’t.

S:

Something Blue's Clues by cawthraven [PG-13]

Willow is just fed up with the way Buffy and Spike act around each other. What are they, five?

T:

Timelines,Schmimelines by bookishy [NC-17]

When Buffy’s sent back to her first year of college to retrieve an artifact for the future, she ends up on the day of the first inaugural Christmas Party at Casa del Xander. Or, time travel meets its greatest match, and that match is alcohol.

U:

Under The Influence by NautiBitz [NC-17]

A few nights after their engagement spell, Buffy has to watch Spike. Problem is, a psychedelic demon may have just spritzed her with a mind-altering substance. Will Spike seize the moment? Or will they just end up naked? HMMM.

V:

Vampire In Charcoal by Geliot99 [NC-17]

Hiring out her mother's art gallery for classes had been a stroke of genius, but when the life model for the upcoming class comes down with the flu and an extremely unsuitable replacement is found last minute, Buffy is faced with a lot more of her nemesis than she was ever anticipating.

W:

where the shadow ends by disco-tea [R]

For 147 days, Spike and Dawn grieve Buffy. This is a story of a vampire and a Key who try to cope with the loss of the one person who meant the most to them…and how they became a family along the way.

X:

Xerox by Holly [R]

Spike and Buffy leave Angel a parting gift.

Y:

You Learn by bramcrackers [Adult Only]

When Buffy learns about Angel’s history with Drusilla, she can’t ignore how he seems to keep everything about his past to himself unless forced. How can she love someone she doesn’t even know? A trip to a local mage later, she’s plunged headfirst into Angel’s entire sordid history in a series of visions. And dealing with all of that would have been a hell of a lot easier if Spike hadn’t somehow been pulled into it, happy to add the color commentary.

Z:

Zero by kantayra [NC-17]

Trapped together in an icy prison, Buffy and Spike find one way to turn up the heat.

[hxrricvnes]

c. | theodore lucas "theo" sinclair.

Fate. A word meaning destiny. Fate. A word meaning doom. - Benton James Kessler 

Is that WOLFGANG NOVOGRATZ? No, that’s just THEODORE SINCLAIR. They were born on 05/09/1997 and are a HYBRID: PSYCHIC/VAMPIRE living in Northknot Town. They work as a MECHANIC / TATTOO ARTIST AT INK AGAIN. Some say they're LAID-BACK and RESILIENT, but I’ve heard others say they're DISOBEDIENT and ALOOF. When you think of HIM, don’t you think of THE PURRING SOUND OF A MOTORCYCLE SPEEDING DOWN AN EMPTY ROAD, THE FEELING OF CALM IN A QUIET ROOM, AND THE SCENT OF BURNING PAGES TELLING TALES OF UNTOLD PROPHECIES?

A E S T H E T I C

rain hitting a leather jacket as the rider of a motorcycle drives down a winding path. pages turning from a book no one has read. the purring sound of a motorcycle speeding down an empty road. music blasting from headphones. the feeling of calm in a quiet room. and the scent of burning pages telling tales of untold prophecies.

M U S I C    P L A Y E R

“ I don't need that late night high... I'm floating on my low-key vibe. ” sex, drugs, etc. by beach weather “ Hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone. Engage with the pain as a motive. ” achilles come down by gang of youths “  And if the world don't break, I'll be shaking it. 'Cause I'm a young man after all. And when the seasons change, will you stand by me? 'Cause I'm a young man built to fall . ” mind over matter by young the giant

P E R S O N A L I T Y  

theodore is a friendly guy, he talks to everyone... even if he does keep it mostly surface level. he's always been best described as "low-key". both of his jobs require him to know how to talk to people. so he uses that even outside of work. after being changed into a hybrid vampire, he changed. with fewer predictions of the future, he's relaxed a little more. doesn't feel on edge all the time. but he does hate being a vampire. he's not someone who wanted to live forever.

H E A D C A N O N S

theo was born into a family that didn't know they had supernatural blood. when he had his first premonition, no body believed him. but then again, who would believe a four year old who spoke of planes crashing into new york. when what he saw came to be, his parents had almost forgot. it wasn't until he tried to worn his parents a year later that something bad was going to happen. he was too young to understand what he saw, but when a week later his father died in a crash that almost took theo and his mother as well... his mother started to realise what was happening. she didn't really understand it, in fact it scared her. she had thought he was CAUSING everything. however, people assumed she was crazy and theo was taken from. while is mother was institutionalised, theodore was taken and put into foster care. being moved from house to house, theo found is hard to make connections. adults never believed him and other children called him crazy. by ten, he stopped trying to share everything he saw. no one wanted him and he was tired of being the "crazy one". it was when he turned twelve that he was adopted by an elder french couple. they knew EXACTLY what he was and tried to help him. moving him to northknot and explaining everything the best they could. being the new kid had its perks. but also had it's disadvantages. people took one look at him and decided then and there what type of person he was. due to his standoffish attitude, most people didn't try to look a little closer. due to this, theo mainly kept to himself. about two years ago, theo decided to travel and explore the world. he was tired of northknot. tired of being what people thought of him. just wanted to see what else was out there. but a few months into his travels. he was attacked and turned again his will. when he woke up alone, he instantly knew what happened to him. despite figure a lot of the supernatural world out by himself, he was smart enough to know what this meant for him. he ran before his sire could return. spending some time getting used to the change. theo wait a bit before just coming back to northknot. he wanted to get settle into his new life before returning home where he knew he wouldn't have to worry anymore.

C O N N E C T I O N S

past friend. theo was never an overly popular kid. he was only ever close with a few people. but this person was someone he had (at the time) considered a best friend. as they grew older, they grew apart. more rumours spread about theo and this person, while they didn't add to the rumours, didn't help put a stop to them either. theo doesn't really blame them either, they wanted to be more social and the only way (it seemed) was to get their distance from him. they haven't spoke since theo left. vampire sire. can be plotted, but i'm looking for someone who had wanted to use his psychic abilities to their favour. they could be a member of the faction, whether they did it on their own or because they were told to... theo doesn't know them. when he woke up, he had been alone and left before they could get back. ex girlfriend. sylvia burke. theo, despite what people think, is a very kind guy when he cares. and man did he care about sylvie. he fell for her fast. which is probably why it didn't last. within a year, they just seemed to have grown apart. theodore still has a soft spot for the blonde, but it's more like a found memory at this point. someone he feeds off. (upcoming muse). again, despite the "bad boy" vibe people get from theo. he's a very kind and caring person. this person is someone he met before he was turned into a vampire. their someone he considers a friend and that he looks out for. when they offered him to feed from them, he took them up on it since they both trust each other enough for it to work. best friend/roommate. this person was someone who he met maybe a year after moving to northknot and actually stayed his friend. theo considers this person his best friend. when theo returned to northknot after a year away, the two decided to move in together

[brianjaeger]

2024 Academy Award Best Picture Nominees Guide For Those Who Haven’t Actually Watched Them

In a year when the names of pretty much every movie are combinations of random, non-descript words, and with a lineup of films that few people did actually watch or even legitimately know what they’re about (except Barbenheimer) - the Academy really tested the flimsy premise of this now decade-old bit.

But tis the season! So sing along with me! My awards have a first name, it’s O-S-C-A-R!

My awards have a second name, it’s C-O-R-P-O-R-A-T-E-H-O-L-L-Y-W-O-O-D-W-I-L-L-S-O-O-N-B-R-E-A-K-I-T-S-P-R-O-M-I-S-E-T-O-T-H-E-U-N-I-O-N-S-A-N-D-C-R-E-A-T-E-A-L-L-O-F-T-H-E-S-E-M-O-V-I-E-S-W-I-T-H-A-I-I-N-T-H-E-F-U-T-U-R-E!

So, let’s dive in for this 10th rundown of the Best Picture nominees!

American Fiction

What Florida Governor Ron DeSantis calls critical race theory.

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

German Fiction is what those who planned to vote for DeSantis call Zone of Interest.

If this wins, Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty will announce it as La La Land.

Tracee Ellis Ross plays the role of Dr. Lisa Ellison. Other original names for characters were Myra Lucretia Taylor as Dr. Mary Lucretiason, Michael Cyril Creighton as Dr. Thomas Cyrilson and Sterling K. Brown as Dr. William K.-son.

Anatomy of a Fall

About 6-foot-2 and roughly 200 pounds at the time that he slapped Chris Rock at this awards show in 2022. 

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris? They call it Anatomie D'Une Cheese.

I thought it was a bit lazy that in order to play the half-blind son, director Justine Triet just put an eye-patch on Milo Machado-Graner and exclaimed, “Mon Dieu! Ze garçon is now half blind. Voir!

Eric Clapton’s least favorite Best Picture nominee.

Barbie

A sharp and immensely profitable attack upon the patriarchy and a film that became a rallying cry for female empowerment in Hollywood that garnered no Best Director or Best Actress nominations but nabbed a nom for penis-owning actor Ryan Gosling.

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

Hi Barbie!

One day during childhood, I agreed to play Barbies with my two sisters and my brother. But we played Saved By The Bell with Ken as Zack Morris, an Aladdin doll as A.C. Slater and various Barbies as Kelly, Jessie and Lisa. It was civil until I got bored and used another Ken doll to be Screech and all of a sudden gave him the power (ironically…Screech's last name was Powers) to fly and then pretended he was flying over the Dream House and farting and pooping down (also ironically in light of Dustin Diamond’s later activities) on everyone causing my sisters to scream at me while I cackled with laughter. Not really a joke. Just a real crystalized childhood memory that I'm sadly still kind of proud of and also still think is very funny.

Next year, the Polly Pocket movie will be a tremendous hit, break down traditional gender norms, and Austin Butler will be the only one nominated for an Oscar for playing Paul E. Pocket.

The Holdovers

A story about a group that has nowhere to go after they are abandoned in New England…the 2020 Patriots.

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

The lead role called for a “stubborn, curmudgeonly” character and Paul Giamatti just materialized on set.

To achieve Giamatti’s character Paul Hunham’s trademark lazy eye, Alexander Payne enlisted the help of Anatomy of a Fall director Justine Triet who came on set and addressed Giamatti’s right eye, saying, “Bonjour, eye! Do some work, s'il vous plaît. (Pauses for a beat.) Sacre bleu! Ze eye refuses to work. Zis is a lazy eye!”

This is the first collaboration between director Alexander Payne and actor Paul Giamatti since Sideways which now makes sense since there are various points in the film where a character, with absolutely no context or prompting, sips a glass of merlot and spits it on the ground screaming, “Merlot is the worst liquid in the universe!” But it was a bit much when the last scene of the movie was Paul Giamatti looking directly into the camera and saying, “Fuck you, merlot,” before the credits rolled.

Killers of the Flower Moon

Ernest in the Army. Ernest Scared Stupid. Ernest Goes to Jail.

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

Leonardo DiCaprio initially turned down the role when he learned that his romantic interest in the film, Mollie Kyle, was 137 years old, saying, "Maybe without the 7!"

IMDB lists this movie’s runtime in years.

Scorsese rejected composer Robbie Robertson’s first score for the film that included “‘Up on Cripple Creek…Is Where They Found Anna’s Body’”, “I Shall Be Released…Is What King Hale Tells Ernest While In Jail”, “The Weight…Of His Transgressions Caused Ernest to Testify Against His Uncle” and “Ophelia…Is Probably The Name of One of The Background Osage Women Characters, Oh Come On Marty, Just Put It In The Credits, People Love This Song”

Maestro

Seasoned musician Leonard Bernstein (Bradley Cooper) discovers-and falls in love with-struggling actress Felicia Montealegre (Carey Mulligaga). She has just about given up on her dream to make it big as an actress - until Leonard coaxes her into the spotlight. But even as Felicia’s career takes off, the personal side of their relationship is breaking down, as Leonard fights an ongoing battle with his own internal demons. Then, he pisses his pants at the Grammys.

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

Early critical reviews of the trailer focused on the “Anatomy of a Face”.

Just like in “A Star Is Born”, Bradley Cooper took vocal lessons to actually perform Leonard Bernstein's classic “Hallelujah”. (What’s that? There are two Jewish Leonards?)

Cooper spent nearly 45% of the film’s budget on that epic final battle scene between Bernstein and Lydia Tár.

Oppenheimer

Julius Robert Oppenheimer Schmidt! That's my name too! Whenever I got out, the people always shout, “There goes Julius Robert Oppenheimer Schmidt!” Na-na na-na na-na-na!

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

In an alternate scene, it's revealed that the exchange between Oppenheimer and Edison by the pond that caused Albert to react so sadly when walking past Robert Downey Jr. is that Oppenheimer tried to sneak a fart but then said, “Oh no. I just Oppensharted.”

Nolan took some liberties with the true story. In reality, the U.S. killed between 110,000 and 210,000 Japanese citizens…with kindness.

Since ABC does not include the Academy’s Scientific and Technical Awards during the broadcast, we will not see Cillian Murphy’s acceptance speech for Best Seated Mangina.

Past Lives

This film follows the stories of the characters’ souls across time, and the stories are interwoven as they advance, showing how they all interact in their “past lives”. The film explores how people's “past lives” are connected with and influence each other and…wait a second. Nope. That’s Cloud Atlas. (Do not watch Cloud Atlas.)

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

Due to scheduling conflicts with Poor Things, Emma Stone was unable to play the female Asian lead this time.

However, in the North Korean version of the film, Kim Jong Un played the role. And all the other roles. And won all of the Oscars. Ever.

This movie is a prequel to the movie Lives.

Poor Things

From Pixar comes the story of little Sally Sangiovese, a newly bottled red Italian wine who is separated from her Sangio-family and sent to the wine cellar. There, she’ll befriend Nelson Nebbiolo, a wizened red from the Piedmont region who is coming up on 30 years in the cellar but still hasn’t gotten over the loss of his Spanish love, Tia Tempranillo, who was pulled from the cellar for a quinceañera dinner the year prior. Together, the two will hatch a plan to release themselves from the cellar to reunite Sally with her family and Nelson con su amor. Along their adventurous aging process, audiences will discover that even when the bottle appears half-empty, you simply decant dampen the spirit of these…Pour Things!

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

Max McCandles was actually the original name of Lumière from Beauty and the Beast.

Unfortunately this story of a British woman receiving a brain transplant isn’t about J.K. Rowling.

This is the first movie written by new AI trained only on Dr. Seuss books, Kanye West’s Twitter feed and the dreams of Gary Busey.

The Zone of Interest

Rudolf the conflicted Nazi! Had a garden full of rows! Of plants his wife liked to tend to! Horrifically juxtaposed! Then one sunny German day, Hitler came to say, “Rudolf of the triple Reich, won't you Holocaust tonight!” Then, how he wrestled with morality! As he puked and thought, “Why me?!” Rudolf the conflicted Nazi! This one’s really hard for comedy!

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert…All Word-for-Word What Was Generated by ChatGPT:

The popularity of the film has already led to a sequel, Höss Party 2.

Probably also the title of one of the Mission Impossible movies.

I actually did watch every other movie nominated for Best Picture this year, but The Zone of Interest is the only one I did Nazi!

[weirdghostboi666]

Alright since it’s getting closer to spooky season and more haunted houses are opening up I figured I’d reblog this to spread some awareness about haunted houses and their actors, such as myself.

If you’re gonna be a dick and start getting pissed off at actors and start hitting them because you think it’s funny or you’re mad about them DOING THEIR JOBS BY SCARING YOU,

DON’T GO INTO A HAUNTED HOUSE.

That simple. I don’t care if you want to get into the Halloween spirit by going to a haunted house, don’t go in if you’re gonna get pissed off and physically assault the actors for doing their fucking job. I, like many other actors, do the whole haunted house actor thing because we love Halloween and scaring people and it gives us something to look forward to each year, but when assholes come through and start swinging it ruins it for us. So in conclusion,

If you’re gonna be a dick in a haunted house, d o n t g o t h r o u g h.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

I almost reblogged a PSA about not attacking scare actors at haunted houses and hayrides, some of whom are under age. It was a mostly good post, pointing out how dickish it is to hurt people because you think it’s funny.

But op lost me when they started talking softly to the people who do this without meaning to, suggesting that they take precautions like wearing crocs so it hurts less when you kick or keeping your hands in you pockets so you’d be less likely to hit. Giving your phone to a friend so you don’t clock someone with it.

But… my friends. If you’ve ever done this before – like hitting someone for scaring you in a situation you know is simulated because you paid to be let in – maybe the answer isn’t “wear soft shoes”.

Maybe don’t go in the first place.

I know, it’s spooky season and you like to be festive, but if the price of your holiday fun is that you’ll lose control of your actions and probably assault someone, you don’t any need tips and tricks other than “don’t pay people to scare you.” It’s a terrible thing to do to someone and they don’t deserve it. 

Also, I guarantee you they aren’t being paid enough.

[father-time-and-baby-new-year]

happy 200! i’m so glad to see your blog grow, it’s one of my favorites and i adore all your writing. i’ve never cried so much and i love the kind of unsettling feeling you write in your fics, it’s perfect in the category of yandere and dark content. in particular, i loved your drabble about shigaraki mourning over a dead reader and i’ve reread that one too many times to count haha! as for asks for headcannons and drabbles, it would be amazing to see that with bully!eren especially since he was such an awful person to the reader. i’d love to see him suffer honestly, but if you don’t want to write it, that’s completely fine! once again, i’m so proud of you for hitting 200! that’s such a huge milestone and hopefully, there will be many more in the future! :)

SYNOPSIS: bully!Eren has to navigate the world without you.

Pairing: Bully!Eren x Fem!Reader

A/N: I can't even explain in words how much I CHEESED at this message like my grin was ear to ear. can't explain how many times I read this. It singlehandedly made my day anon, and to repay you for my happiness....here is some angst. this is a slightly different route than the shiggy one but I hope it still suits you <3

TW: mentions of death, past dubcon/noncon, mentions of trauma, bullying, alcohol addiction, drunk driving, abusive behavior, revenge porn, nonconsensual photography/videography, mentions of infidelity, angst, so much of angst, violent behavior

WC: 2.5k

It's not like Eren had been doing a lot of soul-searching. He's not delusional enough to label his half-assed epiphany of "maybe I'm a shitty person" as soul searching.

It's just the conversation with his very sick mother burned holes through the back of his mind. Carla had asked about you and why you don't come by the house anymore. How she missed baking with you in the kitchen, and how you sweetly smiled whenever you would see soft creamy peaks form in the meringue.

Eren felt like he was swallowing needles as he assured his mother with false truths, that nothing was going on and distance between childhood friends is natural, and if it means so much--ok ok he'll bring you over.

He stays until he sees her chest slowly rising and falling into a gentle asleep. He touches the tip of his ears, unsurprised by how hot it was.

Eren, when you tell a lie, the tips of your ears turn red.

You're not at school the next day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that.

Guilt is not an emotion he feels often but the events of the past weekend replay in his mind. It was just a dumb party that Floch threw, and he was surprised to find you cornered by a trio of thee dunderheads. Like a distorted fairytale, he swept you away from the bad guys like a knight in shining armor, to only shove you in an empty room and demand compensation for playing hero.

Fuck, with that big mouth, you would think that you'd know how to suck cock.

Use your tongue stupid slut. If you use teeth, I'll shove this dick in your ass without any prep.

No, I don't care, you're taking all of it.

There's a video on his camera roll. How could he not record it? You're sobbing, mascara running down your cheeks, looking so beautiful and ruined with jizz smeared at the corner of your mouth. He was brutally fucking your mouth, making you take all of his length.

Breathe through your nose dumb whore. Or else you're gonna run out of air.

You were pleading with whatever garbled sounds you were constricted into producing.

Breathe through your fucking nose. This is for your sake. Otherwise, I don't mind face fucking your lifeless body. You'd be more useful that way anyways.

Eren is conflicted with muting the video because he can't stand to hear himself like that. But he didn't want to miss out on your pitiful whines.

He remembers the distraught expression on your face when he was finally done with you. He tucked himself inside, and sneered, "I've got a girl coming here. Get lost." You looked so fucking distraught. Why? All he did was make you suck his dick. He didn't even fuck you.

He should have. Eren thinks grimly when he stares at your empty desk on the first day you didn't show up to school. He's gotten off to the video more than enough times than he can count over the weekend, and he was aching to see your pretty face twisted into a terrorized expression when he flipped up your skirt to grope your ass.

Kindly, Eren decides he'd allow you to have a rest day. But the second day, Eren pays a visit to your house finding it dark and locked, like no one was home and hadn't been there for a while.

On the third day, you're declared missing.

Your incompetent workaholic mother who finally came home and decided to give a damn reported you missing to the authorities who had scratched their heads because as far as they knew, the pivotal 72 hours were up.

Paradis was surrounded by forests. No one wanted to say it, but they were all thinking it. If you got lost in there, chances are you wouldn't make it out.

Eren wasn't always this admired and fawned over. He had his fair share of behavioral issues that frightened people (not you though, not then at least, not when you were children, and you still came back every day to play).

But when he channeled that anger into sports, there was somewhat of a star in the making, especially for some small-town boy. He was becoming extremely popular, and that's nice and all, but at the end of the day, he has a mother whose health was taking a sharp decline. He was constantly under stress, stress that he took out on you.

Where did his favorite stress-ball go?

It's all fucking surreal. Having detectives in the school. Not that there were many students to question (because christ, did you even have any friends after Eren turned everyone against you?).

Eren was questioned. He can't help but mirthfully chuckle. Maybe this was your grand plan, maybe you were able to finally sort out a mountain of evidence against him. If you were going to fuck him over, didn't you want to see it happen with your own two eyes?

The dark-haired boy wishes that was true. If you had gotten your revenge, would you be here? No, revenge isn't the right word. If you got any justice for what he made you suffer, would you come back?

Hi, I'm Detective Hange. I would like to ask you some questions today. You're Eren Yeager, right?

Yes, that's me.

How do you know ___?

We were childhood friends. We're uh, we're not as close anymore.

When was the last time you saw her?

Friday night at Floch's party-

-Floch Forster right? There were a number of kids there from your school.

Yeah. It was a big party. She uh, doesn't usually come to parties but she was there that night.

You were the last person to be seen with her. Other kids have said that they saw you and her entering a room together, and then only her leaving the said room.

[Sigh] Yeah we sorta...hooked up.

I thought you said you guys weren't close anymore.

You can be not close to someone and still hook up with them.

But you guys were close once right?

Yeah. Once.

The dark-haired boy asks if he was under any suspicion. The detective waves their hand in a dismissive gesture, “If her diary tells us anything, it’s only that she really liked you.”

Were detectives even allowed to divulge that sort of information? Eren doesn’t know but the stray detail that they offered off-handedly made him feel like he was swallowing needles.

At that point, Eren honestly still doesn't believe you're gone. You had a habit of running away, even when you were little kids, but you always came back.

Still, he participates in the search parties with a renewed vigor, even going alone in the forest with a flashlight on most nights.

And he's just so fucking tired. The darkest crevice of his mind almost wishes you were dead because this ignorance was just agony. Almost. Because he still clings to the feeling that one day, he’ll stroll into class and find you in your seat in the back of the class, looking out the window like some cliche shojo manga protagonist.

There are folders and folders on his phone. Albums. The most recent one is dedicated to your crying face as you were choking on his dick. Earlier albums are composed of creepshots of your panties, of that obscene o-face, of your skirt flipped up and your ass cheeks, pictures of your cleavage, videos of you thrashing as he dunked your head into toilets like a villainous middle school bully.

Pictures of your neck covered in hickeys, your naked breasts, ass cheeks striped with red after getting spanked, your leaking cunt, just endless and endless media dedicated to pieces and pieces of your body like you were never a whole person.

The earliest ones though tell a different tale, from off-guards to your drooling face as you napped in the middle of the day.

He has a favorite picture. Your eyes are watery from the cold, snowflakes stuck between lashes, nose and cheeks flushed red, and you're smiling. Smiling right to the camera. Right at him.

"Eren, are you taking a picture?" You asked, bouncing in place, giddy that it was finally snowing.

"Not of you, shut up. Get out of the way." His voice is gruff but not harsh.

You laughed and jumped into frame anyway, and the bright streetlamp behind you made you seem like you were wearing a halo.

He wishes he had more pictures of you being...yourself. Because now your crying face displayed over countless pixels haunt him. But like a fucking degenerate, he still jerks off to all the nudes he coerced from you. Sometimes he cries when he's jerking off which is probably the most pathetic thing he's ever done. This is what you've reduced him to.

He hates the sound of his own voice.

Breathe through your fucking nose. This is for your sake. Otherwise, I don't mind face fucking your lifeless body. You'd be more useful that way anyways.

Eren goes through the motions of life without really feeling like he's in the moment. Seasons change and time flies. His mother dies, and his withdrawn father dies a year later. He proposes to Mikasa because it's something he was always supposed to do. She loves him unconditionally, so even when he doesn't put any effort into the relationship but proposes, she says yes hoping he'll change and be a good husband.

He doesn't go to his parents' funerals because they're already dead. What's the point. He doesn't visit the candlelight vigils in your honor either. After tearing his ACL again and a somewhat traumatic injury, he kisses his pro-football career goodbye. To be totally honest, he's relieved. Because he had gotten quite bored, and maybe he was looking for excuses to quit the entire time. It's not like you'd be cheering on the bleachers anyways.

Mikasa has an affair, more out of a desire to see her fiancé feel something for her as opposed to any burning lust. But when she asks him if he's ever cared at all, with tears springing out of her eyes, he's just calmly drinking his fifth of whisky.

The dark-haired man doesn't even look up, "Let's break up."

"Is this about her, huh? Fucking get over it already Eren. She's GONE. And you have some big fucking audacity moping about her death like you weren't making her cry in the bathroom stalls every fucking day you piece of shit."

"Get out."

"You know what, I bet she killed herse-"

SMASH

The dark-haired woman doesn't finish her rant because the whiskey bottle smashes on the wall next to her head, sending glass everywhere and staining the carpet amber. She's unharmed, knowing it wasn't Eren's intention to hit her but Jesus Christ, what a monster.

She packs her bags and leaves the town like she should have a long time ago. All her friends had left years before and she stayed behind because that's where Eren was. She thanks her lucky stars that they didn't marry.

It's funny because he had always imagined himself being the first to move out of their small town, but he's the one staying. He can't leave this place. feels too tethered to ever leave. Every diner and liquor store is saturated with memories of you. He remembers buying cigarettes and exhaling the smoke to your face to piss you off in empty parking lots.

Maybe he stays in case you'll come back.

Eren's days consist of alcohol-fueled hazes. He doesn't know how his liver is still functioning. He doesn't know he's still alive after crashing his car into a tree when he was drunk out of his mind. He was on his way to get some more vodka.

He barely recognizes himself in the mirror anymore, not that he looks at himself much. His hair is long, nestled around his shoulder because he couldn't be bothered to cut it, dark circles under viridian eyes, and a perpetual stubble on his jaw.

His parents had left quite a sizable inheritance so there's no need to work but he's good with his hands. Likes crafting up birdhouses and cabinets, and occasionally does odd jobs around the neighborhood, never charging the elderly.

He's under the sink, tinkering with a wrench against the pipes when he hears the old lady coo at him.

"We're so lucky to have you Eren. I'm surprised a handsome young man like yourself doesn't have a special lady. The girls must be lining up at your door!"

The dark-haired man winces, and offers no comment, knowing that that the older lady was susceptible to long tangents.

"You know, we're getting a new neighbor." Eren grunts as a response. "They're young, I've heard. Isn't that exciting? Oh my, Eren! I think they're gonna be living in the house right next to yours..."

He tunes out the rest of the conversation because doesn't really care. He just hopes his new neighbors are quiet.

It's Sunday noon when obnoxious noises of moving trucks and people wake him up from his deep slumber. Eren's annoyed to wake up despite the fact he's probably been sleeping over 15 hours. He oscillates between getting too much sleep and getting none, his sleeping habits completely dependent on his dreams.

His nightmares are too visceral, visions of your corpse asking him if he'd enjoyed hollowing your soul with his teeth.

His dreams are achingly sweet. You in your prom gown, shining so iridescently like diamonds were sewn into the silk. He's dancing with you, holding you close, and then after you guys go to your favorite diner and gorge on burgers and milkshakes.

There's a peal of distinctly feminine laughter that stirs up Eren's senses. He's so pathetic, was the mere sound of a woman laughing getting him excited?

He sighs. He thinks of the whore he's frequently visited because of her resemblance to you. Hair color, skin color, face shape--with enough alcohol, he could really convince the person beneath him, was you. Maybe it's time to give her a call, but she's gotten so fucking needy and he hated how her voice didn't match yours.

The green-eyed man peers from the lace curtains, irritated by the brats playing on his lawn. A full family next door? Great, just what he needs.

The friendly knock on his door breaks him out of his daze. He contemplates whether he should answer but on the second more muted knock, he lets his feet guide him.

He turns the knob.

And Eren Yeager completely shatters.

Because it's you isn't it? You're the person standing in front of him? He can hear what you're saying but he doesn't really register it, soaking in the cadence of a voice he had long forgotten because all he had were pleading whimpers and frenzied moans stored on his cell.

He's shaking. Is he dreaming? He's dreaming, right? He knows it's you. You're older, far more beautiful than he's ever seen you. You have a different hairstyle, wearing clothes he would have mocked you for, and there's this joyfulness within you that makes you glow.

There's a mess of emotions electrifying in the pits of his stomach from euphoria, anger, and dread. He could feel his skin growing clammy like he was about to vomit at any second.

"Hey, are you all right?"

Doe eyes full of concern peer up at him. He voices out the syllables of your name like a desperate prayer.

You tilt your head to the side, "How do you know my name?"

[anewbeginningagain]

Thoughts on the team event? Will what happened there matter to the individual event?

I think my main thought is that I don't think I've ever seen a country wins a gold model and loses so much momentum in the process.

Russia won the gold medal we all knew they were all but a lock to win, but in the process it damaged the momentum of their skaters, and not in a small way too. I think they thought they were going to pull what Canada managed to pull 4 years ago - they too used as little substitutes as possible (Canada only on, Russia none). But what Canada managed to do is to create a strong positive momentum for Tessa and Scott and Duhamel/Radford (and to a lesser extent for Patrick and Gabby in the FS) while Russia hurt the momentum of two of their main gold medal prospects. Mark delivered about as good as he could so he's good, and while Kamila did make a mistake she still seems mostly untouchable. That's not the case with Mishina/Galliamov and Sinitsina/Kasalapov though.

For Mishina/Galliamov after a season of remarkable consistency they went clean and still lost to Sui/Han in the SP and then had a disastrous double fall on a lift exit in the FS (the moment their FS started I told @macaroni-rascal that he looks very tight). Both times they looked shocked and rattled by what happened.

For Sinitsina/Katasalopv, I assume the strategy was to cement themselves as the team to win silver and maybe even challenge for gold. Instead, they lost to not just one but two US teams and are now appearing to be in a fight for a podium finish.

Both S/K and M/G can still deliver strong performances in the individual event and win the medals they are realistically aiming for (silver for S/K, gold for M/G), but if they won't a part of it will be the result of what happened in the team event.

Aside from Russia, Japan managed to set all of their skaters pretty nicely, Shoma and Yuma delivered personal best performances (and I think Kaori too), Wakaba and Kaori went clean and skated beautifully, Miura/Kihara look very solid for a top 5 (or 6) finish, and K/K might have gotten some of their nerves out and will skate stronger in the individual event. Overall a great success for team Japan.

the US managed to set up both H/D and C/B to a great start with both getting solid scores but most importantly both beating S/K (we all know they want a I.AM sweep of that dance podium). Nathan also delivered a personal best and got rid of some old daemons. Karen, Vincent and K/F all underperformed but didn't really hurt themselves as they are not aiming for a medal (Vincent might have at some point but with 3 bad FS in a row, it seems unlikely now even if we ignore the positive covid test).

Canada did well for Maddie who was the MVP and star of the team and the one who saved them and got them into the FS with the highest placements out of all the skaters. It also did OK for MT/M and J/R who skated solid programs. They did however pretty much broke Roman's spirit in the process. The biggest hit came for G/P who came here wanting to prove they are in the hunt for a bronze medal against H/D and C/B but ended up finishing way behind them.

And lastly China gave a great momentum boost to the amazing Sui/Han with a clean SP that won the event. Boyang skates as well as could be expected considering his struggles, but it was Peng/Jin and Wang/Liu who surprised me the most - Peng/Jin looked very shaky in the FS on elements they usually execute easily, Wang/Liu looked great but being away from I.AM really hurt their levels and they lost almost 3 BV points compared to what they usually get (which I hope they can fix for the individual event, especially for the one-foot and the weird combo lift levels who got level 3 for the straight line and 2 for the rotational). Still, advancing for the FS was a huge accomplishment for China so good on them.

[justmossyall]

lemme just talk about autumn for a second. autumn is the ultimate goblincore season and here's why:

(oh and before I start, I am quite passionate about this topic so this will be a long list. strap yourself in.)

SWEATER WEATHER. sweaters. sweaters are tied for the title of the most goblin piece of clothing with overalls and fingerless gloves. they're so fricking comfy. and when you get them, like, one size up, you can flap the sleeves. perfection. *chef's kiss*

colorful leaves!!!!!!! walking through the forest is wonderful enough during spring and summer, but in the fall, the trees evolve into Flareon and get all red and orange and YELLOW and brown and what's that? oh yeah, they become s u p r e m e l y c r u n c h y

soup time

warm beverages are a big yes during fall! tea? hit me up. hot coffee? you know it. hot chocolate? yes yes yes pass the marshmallows homie

blanketssssssssss. it's finally cold enough that you can pile under eight blankets and watch youtube and be a happy lil goblin >:D

MOSS GROWS BEST IN AUTUMN. LOOK IT UP.

I know I already talked about the weather a bit, but one more plus: it's neither searingly hot nor freezing cold, but in fact, it is the perfect weather, which means you can go explore nature and not be uncomfortable :D

candles!!! in my opinion, candles are the most ✨aesthetic✨ during autumn for some reason.

the overall atmosphere of autumn is just so cozy and loving. goblincore is (also in my opinion) one of the most welcoming and diverse aesthetics, and autumn just really feels goblincoreish. something about the warmth and beauty and coziness just resonates with my happy goblin heart :)

And now for the biggest one: HALLOWEEN. if this isn't the most goblin holiday, I don't know what is. you can dress up as whatever you want (or not at all), and you go around getting free candy from strangers? come on, yall. this needs to be a more common thing. I can't wait a whole year. gravity falls was onto something with the whole Summerween thing.

thank you for coming to my TED Talk. now if you'll excuse me, I have to go appreciate some moss.

(oh also it's my birthday in case anyone cares lmao)

[sinkix]

Haikyuu!!│Boys going grocery shopping w/ you! HC’s│Ft. Bokuto, Nishinoya, Terushima, Kuroo & Kunimi

I had this late night idea and just HAD to follow through, the chaos would be O F F T H E C H A R T S. Thank you to @deathcab4daddy​ for helping me brainstorm some good characters for this post lmao I love you bby and can’t wait to do a collab. <3

E N J O Y ~ 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

BOKUTO:

WHEN I TELL YOU THIS BOI PICKS UP EVERYTHING IN SIGHT LIKE A 6 YEAR OLD

 I FUCKING MEAN IT.

“(Y/N) we need this” 

“Bokuto we do not need a 7th jar of peanut butter.”

 “But (Y/N) it has a squirrel on the front-”

“BOKUTO I SWEAR TO GOD”

Tries to drift on the edge of the cart like something straight outta CSGO and the cart nearly obliterates under his weight.

V e r y l o u d u n e c c e s s a r i l y.

Everyone always stares at y’all when you’re going through the isles bc ur literally escorting a man-child sprawled in a shopping cart who’s going “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” at everything he sees like he’s a toddler at the zoo who’s never encountered a chimpanzee before.

Unless you have a bottomless bank account do NOT take him shopping of any kind he is LETHAL.

When you’re at the check-out he turns it into a basketball competition and tries to launch everything perfectly on to the conveyor belt.

Volleyball player? Nah this sis with the NBA now.

Do not ask him to go get something, he will return with at least 9 items you didn’t need and everything BUT the item you requested

He turned up with a whole ass pineapple, a jar of jam, a stick of butter and a bottle of olive oil.

Like,,,where is the correlation in those items???

Once made the mistake of asking him to grab some pads from the hygiene section and specified it HAD to be with wings

Boy showed up ten minutes later and looking very confuzzled.

You questioned why he has a pack of wingless pads in one hand and a can of red bull in the other.

He said it’s because they didn’t have any with wings so he figured the Redbull would suffice and do the job for you.

i-

NISHINOYA:

Can literally fit him in the little cart seat made for kids and he LOVES it lmaoooo IT’S SO CUTE MY HEART.

HE JUST SWINGS HIS LEGS EXCITABLY WHILE YOUR GETTING STUFF AAAAAAA

Ppl give you such weird looks though bc you have a guy who’s at least 14 years older than the intended demographic sitting there and raising his hands in elation over you copping a cookie dough pie and chucking it in.

Again, another who is VERY LOUD FOR NO REASON AT ALL.

Get’s out of the cart after a while bc his legs be growing numb and begins roaming around.

Someone came back with a feral Noya in hand stating “Is this your child” WNDKJWEFNWJEF.

M’AM HE’S LIKE 18 EXCUSE YOU.

Was salty about it for the rest of the day.

Just ruffle his hair and call him Senpai 

Problem solved.

Picks up tons of exotic fruit that look more like plastic or fuzzy poisonous plants and begs you to get them.

“Noya what the fuck is that.”

“...a Pitaya.”

“...”

“Can we get it-”

“no.”

“(Y/N)-”

“I SAID NO DAMMIT”

Last time you bought some strange fruit he took it to practise and got Tanaka to spike it LMAOOO

IT SPLATTERED E V E R Y W H E R E

AND OVER DAICHI’S SHIRT.

He begged you to no longer allow Noya to purchase weird fruits from then on since he is like a child with a nerf gun.

He once picked up a phat wrinkly purple fruit and turned to you asking if it was an overgrown raisin.

“Noya sweetie that’s a Date.”

HE FULLY TSK’ED AND THREW IT BACK SINCE IT REMINDED HIM OF DATE TECH I CAN’T.

My boy out here defending Asahi even in the Grocery Isles.

We stan a loyal king.

TERUSHIMA:

Another one who tries to stand on the ledge and the cart wheels almost collapse because it wasn’t designed to hold the weight of a young adult.

Oh young adult??? Sorry I mean’t MAN CHILD.

He treats a shopping experience as a time to practise his aim apparently because he ALWAYS THROWS SHIT AT YOU TO THE POINT YOU’RE THREATENED TO BE KICKED OUT.

Definitely picks up phallic looking objects and places them against his crotch, snorting and saying “Like what you see (Y/N)?”

Homeboy is stood there in front of a wife and child presenting his cucumber appendage for the world to see.

He once grabbed a pair of fat ass melons and pressed them against his chest, shaking them and belting the lyrics to ‘My Milkshake’ while begging you to SQUEEZE HIS MELONS.

“Look (Y/N) they’re bigger than yours!”

I just- 

I give up.

Constantly tries to sneak mutli-packs of energy drinks into the cart to the point you’re convinced he is going to keel over from heart failure and kidney stones by the age of 20.

Has his airpods in 90% of the time and treats the isles as his personal dance floor.

He busting them MOVES and performing the MJ moonwalk while in the dairy section.

ONCE HE SLID TOO FAST AND SLIPPED ON HIS REAR IN FRONT OF LIKE 12 PEOPLE LMAOO

He was DEAD silent the rest of the trip.

Probably the most serene shopping experience you’ve had to date.

The checkout clerks occasionally hit on Mr. Sore-Ass over here.

Until he opens his mouth and they realise he’s a total dolt and question how you have the patience for him.

You don’t know either honestly.

The whole bagging experience is spent with them shooting you sympathetic glances as if to say ‘sis you shoulda’ left him at home’.

Yes, yes you should have.

Never a dull moment with Teru as your shopping partner.

KUROO:

LITERALLY LIKE A MIDDLE-AGED MAN OR A TODDLER WHEN Y’ALL GO SHOPPING THERE IS NEVER AN EVEN MIDDLE-GROUND.

Frequently cracks lame-ass food puns or dad jokes that make you want to crawl into a hole and die.

You have competitions on who can come up with the most and the loser always faces a penalty.

Kuroo and creating penalties do NOT mix safely so you better hope you win.

“I love you a waffle lot.” 

Proceeds to hold up a wrapped waffle.

Ok that one was kinda cute you’ll let it slide.

“I ap-peach-iate you Kuroo.”

Cue HyenaLaugh.mp3

“Want a pizza me baby? Bitch peas, doughnut take me lightly.”

You changed your mind.

You didn’t talk to him the duration of that shopping experience, no penalty could be as horrifying as what just came out of his mouth.

“(Y/N)... sometimes I feel like you don’t carrot all.”

You slapped him with said carrot and obviously had to pay for it after.

You forced him to eat it raw.

He is the definition of Neutral disaster when you go shopping.

Shitty food puns aside, he is actually very responsible when making sure you both get what you need.

Not without tons of poking, prodding, and blowing into your ear while you’re trying to decide what ingredients to buy for dinner.

You contemplated serving him a plate of bubbling snot and moulded broccoli seasoned with rosemary.

Bone apple teeth, bitch.

Ofc you didn’t because he always pulls out the puppy eyes and cuddles card after since he knows he’s well and truly rattled your patience lmao.

Actually picks really healthy food options?? Being the captain of a team he has the responsibility of keeping his health in top condition and leading by example so at least he knows the right ingredients to make a bomb-ass and nutritious meal ig.

Y’all always bicker and tease each other at the checkout which is usually great amusement for the clerk serving you as they often smirk and perceive you as an old married couple.

Which tbh you kinda are, it feels like it at least.

Still such a big asshole though lmao you never leave the store without your sanity being scathed.

KUNIMI:

Honestly just wanted an excuse to make jokes at the expense of the Aoba Johsai teammates.

and what better candidate for cracking these than Kunimi.

He’s a very chill partner to have tag along with you on your endeavours.

Not without some grumbling and groaning on his part though, lazy bitch.

You always finish shopping trips with a busted lung at how much you have been laughing though with some of the SHADY ASS REMARKS HE MAKES ABOUT THE OTHER TEAM MATES.

You were outside the store when you both spotted an angry looking Doberman tied to a nearby post.

“Smh who let Kyotani outside again.”

You hadn’t even set foot in the store yet and he was already spitting flaming insults.

[Walking up to the automatic double doors]

“Damn Oikawa move out of my way.”

Oikawa just tryna live and he keeps getting roasted for his flat cheeks 

#StopOikawaAssShaming

Ten minutes of scouring the store later he picks up a spikey Kiwano and compares it to Iwaizumi’s hair.

Proceeds to beg you not to tell my boy Iwa because he KNOWS he will get decked to the gym floor.

Passers by often wonder why you’re wheezing and producing noises like a boiling kettle.

When I tell you no one is safe, I mean N O O N E.

“These Yule logs really out here looking like Matsukawa’s brows.”

The finisher was when Kunimi picked up a turnip and said 

“Huh, kinda looks like Kindaichi.”

I just-

He could roast a whole chicken in minutes from the burn of these comments I stg.

You can now never look at the Seijou team without various foods or inanimate objects plaguing your thoughts.

Thanks, Kunimi.

[cacoetheswriting]

christmas alphabet - spencer reid

a/n: request: this is just fluff, no warnings in place. enjoy!! 

A = After Dark (a date after dark? late night cuddles? surprise mistletoe?)

On cold winter evenings, when Spencer is not travelling for work, the two of you like to cuddle up on the coach under a fluffy blanket. A cup of hot chocolate in hand; with an even number of marshmallows each. The night is either spent discussing both of your days in detail or watching old Christmas classics, like Miracle on 34th Street for example. 

B = Baking (how does baking sweets go? for or with someone?)

The brunette doctor is skilled at literally anything he sets his mind to, but baking is not his forte. The kitchen always ends up a huge mess, and whatever concoction he was attempting is dangerous to eat. However, Spencer enjoys baking with you. Together you make a quite the team and the gingerbread cookies are a big hit with the rest of his team.

C = Cold (it’s cold out! how do they react to the freezing winter air? does someone else help with fighting the cold?)

Spencer enjoys the lower temperatures, they’re a nice contrast to sunny stuffy Las Vegas where he grew up. You on the other hand struggle with the crispy icy air and often find yourself stealing his scarf for extra warmth when you’re out and about. 

D = Date (christmas date! how is it asked? where do they go?)

You ask the brunette agent to go ice-skating with you. Spencer is reluctant at first but you hold onto him tight and any fears wash away. You whirl together around the rink in slow circles, simply enjoying the moment. 

E = Evening Dance (a night at a ball? or maybe just silly dancing in the kitchen?)

Spencer catches you one wintery morning humming along to Blue Christmas by Elvis Presley. He gently takes your hand in his and the two of you slowly sway around the living room.

F = Fireplace (how do they spend their time by the fire? hang stockings? fall asleep on each other?)

The two of you bought stockings with your initials, a lovely red pair with a fuzzy top. Since there is no fireplace at your place Spencer hung them underneath your mounted television. And whenever you feel like cozying up on the coach together you simply turn on a ten-hour fireplace video on YouTube.

G = Grateful (how grateful are they to spend time with others? enjoy being alone or with others?)

The hazel-eyed doctor is extremely grateful to spend time with you, not only over the holidays. While he likes the occasional meet-up with his team for after work drinks at their favourite bar, Spencer definitely prefers spending time with you alone. He's loves comfortable company more than anything.

H = Hosting Family (how does family work? are they invited to others, or stay with their s/o?)

While Spencer would love to spend Christmas with his mom, his unpredictable hours don’t usually allow him to make set plans. Therefore instead you decide that you will spend the holidays with your family, and if by chance he is free to join he will. 

I = Invitation (a sudden invitation comes up! what’s it for? how do they react?)

An invitation arrives for dinner with his team and their loved ones on a faithful Saturday in December. Of course Spencer asks you to accompany him; he wouldn't have it any other way. You’ve met his friends before so you shouldn't be nervous, but yet for some reason you were. This occasion felt different somehow. More intimate. 

J = Just In Time (the present arrives just barely in time! how do they rush up to hand it to them? do they wait for the perfect time?)

Spencer spent weeks trying to decide what to get you for Christmas. Nothing he thought of seemed right. You weren’t a material person, which is one of your many qualities he adored. He wanted your present to be thoughtful, he wanted something meaningful. About a week before the holidays, he came across a website that sold customisable star maps. He ordered one then and there - a map that showcased the stars the night you first met.  

K = Kiss (how do they react to a kiss? flustered? happy? surprised?)

When Spencer first kissed you it was gentle, almost timid. As if he was afraid to fully let himself go. Now when he kisses you he does so with all his might and immense passion. He cups your face with his hands and pulls you in as close as humanly possible. 

L = Lights (christmas lights are important! how do they hang them? around the house? on the tree? outside? what kind of shenanigans go on?)

The brunette agent had given you a key to his apartment. One night in late November he comes home after working a case to find you already there, tangled in a rope of lights. You tried to surprise him by slightly decorating his place for the holidays, but instead found yourself entwined. Spencer can’t help but chuckle at the sight. He sets off to help you; after taking a picture to commemorate this precious moment.

M = Mistletoe (how do they react to suddenly being placed under a mistletoe with their crush/lover?)

He gets flustered at first, mainly because you’re in public and everyone is watching. But the second your lips brush against his the whole world dissolves and he gets completely lost in you. 

N = Naughty or Nice? (how has your character been this past year? are they a trickster or a good of heart?)

Definitely good of heart. Spencer is one of the kindest people you have ever met. He’s caring, he always puts you first and stops at nothing to make you happy. The only time you could describe him as naughty would be in bed.

O = Opening Presents (how do they react to opening presents?)

Eagerly, although very neatly. Even though he is extremely excited to see what you got him, the hazel-eyed doctor rips off the wrapping paper so precisely that it is actually good to reuse.  

P = Packaging (wrapping presents is never easy. how do they fair?)

Packing presents with Spencer is just as organised. All the pieces of the festive wrapping paper are a perfect size for each gif and the ribbon is measured before cut to the correct length; so that there is no waste. 

Q = Question (how do they confess? is it the big question, or something smaller but just as intimate?)

“Y/N?” Spencer catches your attention. You look up from the book in your lap and meet his honey gaze. “Yes?” “How would you feel about spending next years holiday in a cabin somewhere? Just the two of us?” A smile spread across your facial features. “I thought you didn't like to plan that far ahead, especially around Christmas time.” You teased. He smiled back at you. “I don’t, but with you I can break a few of my rules.”  

R = Relaxing (how do they relax with their s/o? the best ways? the cutest?)

Watching Christmas movies, cooking, discussing various topics, or sitting in comfortable silence and reading. Simply enjoying each others company. 

S = Snow (how do they like the snow?)

Spencer likes to share uncommon facts about the snow; more than the weather phenomenon itself. “Snow is actually translucent, not white.” The brunette doctor chimed as the two of you looked out the window admiring the first snowfall of the season. “It’s the light reflected off a snowflake’s faceted surface that creates its white appearance.” 

T = Tree (how do they decorate their tree?)

Gold fairy lights intertwined with a simple white wreathe hung loosely around the Christmas tree at your apartment. Mixed between the more traditional-looking gold bobbles were various fancier ornaments that reminded both of you of your relationship, such as: a stack of books,  R2-D2, fast food items, gin bottle, a coffee cup. 

U = Undying Love (how did they fall in love? what was the real moment they found out?)

Your constant smile and positive outlook on life, not to mention your delicate beauty, lured Spencer in right from the start. He fell for you hard and pretty early into your relationship. And now not a day goes by where he doesn't tell you just how much he loves you.  

V = Villa (how is it in their house? festive? normal? candles?)

Apart from the decorations you had plopped around, the doctors apartment remains normal. The two of you have focused more of your time and energy decorating your place - from the living room to the kitchen and bedroom, there is even a miniature Santa in the bathroom. 

W = Wish (what is their biggest wish for the coming year? or in general?)

Spencers biggest wish for the coming year would be to keep evolving in this relationship with you. He hopes to grow even closer with you, learn more about you and explore the world with you (if he ever gets the time off work). 

X = eXcitement (general excitement about christmas? love it? hate it?)

He’s excited because you’re excited. Seeing you so happy around the holiday season warms his heart and he hopes he’ll get to cherish these moments with you for years to come. 

Y = You (how does their s/o react to them being beautiful? handsome? to them in general in the christmas season? how in love are they?)

The brunette doctor constantly reminds you how perfect you are. Whether you’re dressed up for an evening at the bar with friends or simply sitting on the sofa in a matching wintery pyjama set, Spencer will be sure to point out just how beautiful you look. You of course do the same. There is something about hearing you say how handsome he looks that makes his heart skip a beat. 

Z = Zzzz… (how do they sleep? lots of blankets? none? cuddled closely to their loved one?)

Wrapped up in a large duvet and blankets mainly because you get cold during the night. Spencer’s arm is placed gently yet firmly around you. He holds you close, quietly snoring into the crook of your neck. 

-

masterlist

[mego42]

Shamelessly stealing @foxmagpie​’s monthly rec thing without the ability to get my life together to do these on a monthly basis so, seasonal recs! So excited to see if I manage to do this again with anything remotely resembling consistency but i’ve been keeping the notes for approximately 43 years (or since ~september, whatever that means) so by god i’m gonna use them. 

found my thrill - s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe​

Turner POV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

guys turner is SO OBSESSED with Beth and Rio

both canonically and in this fic

it’s gr9

also features a weirdly soothing and relatable cord untangling moment as a metaphor

truly disturbingly relatable turner pov tbh

relentless boomer disdain, always a plus

led to the creation of this monstrosity, not sure what kind of a monster would do that

War In My Mind - mintletters16

Backread!!!!

post-213, gorgeous character study 

guaranteed to make you feEl stUfF

I really love the like, cyclical, fractured pattern of Beth’s internal monologue, it gives the whole thing a really affecting at times dreamy, at times haunted vibe

the end twist is *chef’s kiss*

mourning bells - Ejunkiet / @ejunkiet​

Backread!!!!

Later s2 era, Rio’s at a funeral, gets drunk and calls Beth

V short, kind of…..mmm, not sweet, but almost? Idk

It’s got a wistful sort of almost/i can be quiet with you vibe that i go extremely bonkers for

delinquents - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Lol are any of you actually not reading this yet?

g o d ch 8 where do i start

First off how ABSOLUTELY VERY DARE for the tragic angst that is delinquents!beth boland. This poor baby, this precious bean. MUST PROTEC

SHE’S TRYING HER BEST AND I LOVE HER

zero percent deserves dean’s clammy hands, no i have not forgotten, tattooed on my brain, will never forgive

I also love love love love LOVE the ruby/stan subplot happening

(and ruby’s mom!!!!!) (seriously though you write the best moms)

oh god and baby beth starting to have confusing feelings about rio?????? *chef’s kiss*

p sure i was just like, straight screaming the entire end of the chapter

the dugout is like, pure serotonin

I can’t even talk about the closet

tHe teNsiOn

thank you i will take eleventy billion

don't give it a hand, offer it a soul - medievalraven / @medievalraven

am a desperate heaux for any fic that features rio and mick friendship

you are all incredibly shocked i know

still would not be mad if this swerved into rio x mick fake dating but beth x rio is cool too i guess

Speaking of things i am a desperate heaux for: DIANE!!!!!!!!

and DATING ANNIE???????????? Blessed

honestly this fic is worth it purely for the assertion that mick watches queer eye

Why don't we go to Venus? - watermelonriddles / @bensonstablers​

another grief study! 

apparently i was working through some stuff in september, idk, that was like 4 years ago

considering it’s the premise of the fic, i don’t think it’s a spoiler to say this fic is canon divergent and working with the premise that rio killed beth in 302

he is uh, not coping well

extremely haunted you might say

lots of marcus and rhea which is a delight!

rhea is to good for him tbh

i said what i said

truly top notch dream (nightmare?) sequences

the conversation at the end is extremely uncalled for

drop the game - Ejunkiet / @ejunkiet​

Backread!!!!

Am going to die mad Beth and Rio didn’t hook up in 211 but luckily this fic scratched the itch 

(temporarily, it’s a fairly permanent itch)

Bonus rec: missing scene series i wanna do bad things to you featuring 2x02 and 2x04

Viva Voce - zetuslapetus / @querenaxx​

Whoops we woke up married Vegas shenanigans!! 

So cute!!!!! So sexy!!!!! 

What more do you want?

am desperately obsessed with how beth can’t help stalking rio

feels right, feels organic

this makes me feel a lot of stuff about how they could be without their canon garbage between them

🎶 we could’ve had it aaaaaaaaaaall 🎶

you showed me colors (i can't see them with anyone else) - gild_fire / @gild-and-fire​

really into the use of color to illustrate beth’s emotional state, i feel like there’s a word for that but idk what it is

UNIMPORTANT

really nice job capturing beth’s inner vulnerability balanced by her outer stubbornness

am DESPERATELY into Mick playing matchmaker

more please???????

Both Sides of the Law - JoeyLee / @joeyjoeylee​

LAW SCHOOL AU! I suuuuuuper love Beth and Rio here (alt pov!! a gift!!!!) I love how initially prickly they are, I love how it’s evolving into a grudging respect, I love how INCREDIBLY AND HILARIOUSLY OBSESSED WITH EACH OTHER THEY ARE and neither one of them seems to see it

listen I know we’re all already foaming at the mouth over this one but as it’s gonna go down as one of my all time favorites it bears repeating/rereccing

cannot stress enough how masterful the use of POV is here, both voices feel completely true and distinct and I love how the alternating chapters revisit, reveal and emphasize pieces of each other

i can’t talk about this fic without hyperventilating

I LOVE IT SO MUCH YOU GUYS

the slow burn is going to ACTUALLY KILL ME

rip, no regrats

Earned It - wakeupflawless / @wakeupflawless​

spanking

that’s it that’s the pitch

H O T

living for beth’s exit in the first chapter, rio and i are both incredibly into it

second chapter also features violently possessive Rio who cannot deal with anyone messing with his girl so if that’s your thing boy howdy get on it

shake, baby, shake - openhearts

backread!!!!!

according to my bookmarks this was a reread but ???????

must’ve read it in the fugue state that followed reading for a moment we were strangers which is gr9 and I believe I have recced it before. If not, horrible oversight, reccing it now

beth and Rio POV lead up to the bathroom break, beautifully done, low-key feel bad reccing it bc the end point of both chapters makes me want to throw things but it’s super worth it for the tEnsiOn. ENJOY

What the Sea Wants, the Sea Will Have - flashindie / @pynkhues​

I’m assuming all of y’all are already reading this

If not OH MY GOD FIX YOUR LIVES

P I R A T E  A U

I’m sorry maybe you didn’t hear me piRaTE aU

meticulously researched, brain-meltingly vibrant, already painfully sexy slow-burning PIRATE AU

god where to start okay so first off, the world-building here straight up breaks my brain, sophie’s put in the work and it SHOWS

second, the atmosphere. i’m generally a pretty like, vague mental picture sort of reader but the sensory detail here grabs you by the throat and like, forcibly hauls you in whether your brain’s wired that way or no

and hey speaking of throats if you, like me, go a little funny about the knees at the idea of beth holding a knife to rio’s throat (he’s fine, calm down), there’s a v excellent beth-in-a-barrel moment for you

oh christ and the sexy tension

it’s gonna be a race to see which slow burn takes me out first, this or law school

Stunner - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Another high school AU, this time with baby Rio absolutely head over heels for his older sister’s bff

stunner!Rio has an emotional earnestness about him that I feel like delinquents!Rio has already outgrown and it’s so SWEET I can’t get enough

Desperately cute!!!!!!

alL he waNts iS foR beTh tO bE hiS girL

also unreasonably angsty???????

ANN ARBOR IS NOT THAT FAR MEGAN

A Heart's A Heavy Burden - tooshyforthis / @bathroombreaks​

Howl’s Moving Castle AU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love Howl’s!!!!!!!!!!!

perfect opp to roast Rio for being a Dramatique Heaux 

and it’s gonna be 9 chapters?????? H Y P E

author’s note boldly presumes I did not know I needed this AU when the reality is I did in fact know I needed this AU, I just wasn’t expecting anyone to deliver

so blessed

author also claims to not be team nose stud and yet it features prominently in all its magnificent glory

what is the truth dot gif

A Bit of a Stretch - septiembre / @septiembur​

SO????? CUTE?????????

would be on this list for Rio calling Beth E alone tbh

really really really really really love this Rio POV of being settled into a relationship with Beth

It manages to be sweetly domestic af while still holding the edge that makes brio brio which is a neat trick

@septiembur may be a witch

beth’s approach to getting rio to do yoga with her is hilarious and exactly right, canon-typical amounts of subtlety 

1000000/10

Post Break-Up Sex - femalegothic / @bethsuglywigs​

stg this was called Hit Shuffle

no matter

h O T

with a side of damn i’ve made some questionable choices in my life haven’t i introspection

(no regrats tho)

(esp not with this fic)

not the point of the fic by a long shot but i’m also extremely obsessed with Weed Eddie, so real

She drains my soul... she drains it not - niham87 / @niham87​

ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED WITH THIS CONCEPT

am a complete sucker for paranormal world building that satirizes bureaucracy 

Is that a trope? If so that’s my favorite

I did it. I’m picking a single favorite. You know what that is growth dot gif

ANYWAY i love the concept, i love the humor, i love beth instantly clicking with annie

I love her and mick’s sort of grudging professional courtesy

Love beth as a champion of environmental responsibility and all of the underworld being like …...okay??

cannot wait to see where this goes

Nine-Tenths - riosnecktattoo / @riosnecktattoo​

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

sometimes i think about rio putting beth’s hair in a ponytail and have to go lie down

science please explain why this rUinS mE

wait hold on i skipped ahead

HEY KIDS DO YOU LIKE UNBEARABLY CUTE DOMESTIC TENDERNESS

opens with rio sleepily holding beth’s hand to his heart so that’s the kind of thing you’ll be dealing with

uGH theY’RE sO CUTe

idk why precisely but rio adding hair ties to his bracelet collection is my undoing every time

Missed Call - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Rio doesn’t come home from a job when he’s supposed to. Beth (and I!!!!!!!) slowly loses her mind

Truly a masterpiece of rising tension

Will literally never forgive her for calling this light angst

I was SO STRESSED OUT

The first person to point out there was an author’s note at the beginning I obvs didn’t read is getting blocked

crush - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Listen even though this is centered around two OCs, they are OCs FROM a (n iconic) brio fic AND Beth, Ruby and Rio all make cameos (I mean, Rio’s pretty present since he lives in Mar’s mind rent free bc they are THE SWEETEST MOST ADORABLE BEST OF FRIENDS so idk if i’d call it a cameo but whatever)

and even if it didn’t feature any official GG characters I’d still rec is bc that’s mY SON AND this fic is TOO CUTE

I have so many feelings over mar and rio growing up and not knowing how to cope with girls becoming a Thing in their life and how it affects their friendship and mar feeling left behind but (SPOILERS) at the end of the story rio starts feeling that too and it’s so poignant knowing how that’s going to continue in delinquents

while mar may be my son, i also claim elena’s #1 stan status

before you’re like meg you’re only reccing it bc it’s a bday present ask yourselves do i really strike you as the kind of person that wouldn’t be equally obnoxious about this either way?

truly cannot fathom how hard i have fallen for these OCs i don’t normally do that

@foxmagpie is definitely a witch

The Ottoman - Niham87 / @niham87​

look i will be the first to admit that i don’t go near as bonkers over the ottoman line in 308 as y’all do

(don’t get me wrong, i love it!!! I love that he laughs and i love that she’s pleased it just doesn’t hit my lose my whole mind button like idk, the dubby or the 306 convo, idk why)

BUT i v v v much love the context this delightful Rio POV pwp gives it

am also absolutely feral for 209 missing scene fic

and anything that captures the complexity of Rio’s s3 feelings for Beth and how twisted they’ve become

so this scratches a bunch of itches, is what i’m trying to say

Bet On It - zetuslapetus / @querenaxx​

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

That’s what my brain does when I think about Beth and Rio meeting in ch 1

am DESPERATELY OBSESSED WITH the tension between the two of them in this fic

I love how it plays with the ways they have to rely on but don’t trust each other

plus FAKE DATING and BED SHARING (fair warning hasn’t happened yet but the set up is there)

originally supposed to be 2 chapters, already up to 4, prayer circle it goes on forever

do you like drugs (tonight) - s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe​

v important focus on hydration, other fic should take note

extremely about the use of cut to and then flashback to enhance the ‘we were on drugs’ vibe

speaking of, beth and rio absolutely would take ecstasy to prove they are fun bc they are the exact kind of idiots that would peer pressure themselves

so glad beth kept her purse, got a bit stressed there for a second, clutches in that kind of circumstance are A Risk

not that i would know

FLAWLESS USE OF VOICEMAIL TBH

really love the ongoing denial that they are remotely into each other while proceeding to demonstrate how they are in fact, extremely into each other, great vibe

rio dances

I know my brain broke too

mmmm bacon

Navigate A Broken Path - flashindie / @pynkhues​

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

I have a long standing tradition of getting unreasonably obsessed with side characters so i’m not like, entirely surprised by how obsessed i am with both Mick and Mary Pat but i never in a million years considered them as a ship

AND Y E T

they fit????? so perfectly?????? It’s amazing how she developes them individually enough that i look at them together and think ah yes this makes perfect sense for both characters

and they’re such an amazing foil to Beth and Rio? 

can ships have foils? do i know what a foil is? 

unimportant

GUYS you dON’T uNDERStAN d 

hell i don’t understand

how absolutely very dare you make me care about YET ANOTHER set of gg ‘verse children

do not read this fic if you have no interest in feelings you zero percent asked for

wHA t hAPPeNED iN aLASkA?????????

A Moment’s Silence - femalegothic / @bethsuglywigs​

*makes sign of the cross*

y’all are gonna make me rediscover religion

extremely appreciate the author’s note approach to backstory top notch prioritization

listen it’s basically 3k of beth deep throating rio idk what more you need me to say about it

it is…..good stuff

bless the kinkmeme or fest whatever we’re calling it

praise - civillove / @blainesebastian​

I mean you had me at “three times rio calls beth a good girl and one time he really means it”

ephemeral rio

I left that note for myself in here in the middle of the night and haven’t the foggiest what i was thinking but i stand by it none the less

okay okay i think i know what i meant, this fic (as do all of my fav civillove brio fics) has this sort of like, liminal, in the quiet moments feel to them that makes the moments and feelings somehow feel like i’m catching a glimpse of something secret and precious???

idk i just really like it okay

Heart and Soul - riosnecktattoo / @riosnecktattoo​

oh look more unbearably sweet domestic tenderness, this time to music

thank you ma’am for my life

rio remembers beth used to play piano and gets her one and revoltingly cute shenanigans result

also hilarity

and sexiness

this fic has it all, truly

shout out to mick who sees no reason to keep rio’s feelings to himself

good girls tumblr fic - prettylittlementirosa / @hypermania​​

cheating and reccing a whole series

It’s my list and i can do what i wanna

stop crying about it, it’s four fics and they’re all AMAZING absolutely impossible to pick a fav

truly flawless characterization, next level ability to capture evocative mood, cannot get enough

three’s a crowd: who knew ballroom dancing while dean watches and grinds his teeth could be so sexy 

(trick question everything about that premise sounds A++++ and boy howdy does it live up)

feel it on the way home: rio tries to break up with beth, it goes about as well as you’d expect

(thE angSty tenSioN)

i want to play the game: [from the floor] i’m still not ready to talk about it

(rio/turner, missing scene, 10000000% a taste of what went down in that hotel room)

june after dark: pitch perfect annie pov, really really love the take that Annie is the baby whisperer, can’t fully explain why but it feels incredibly right

(ANNIE X NANCY COULD WORK SO WELL YOU GUYS)

[mikah-writes]

nsfw a-z with joel miller

I do hope you all enjoy! I worked very hard on this so please let me know in an ask or message if you’d want more of this stuff with Joel <3

Warnings: BDSM talk, various kinks and fetishes being mentioned, Daddy kink, NSFW!!!

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Joel is a very cuddly person after sex, despite his outwardly exterior. You can find him snuggling up to his partner while leaving delicate kisses along her neck as they settle into bed for the night. Expect lots of soft singing and humming as he reassures you that you are cherished and adored by him. Especially if you two have done a dirty talking scene. He will assure you that any names he called you in bed are strictly fantasy and roleplay and that he does not mean it in the slightest.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

If he was honest, his favorite body part on himself is his biceps. He knows how much you adore his strength and loves to show it off in bed. His favorite part on you has to be a hard tie between your ass and your thighs. He loves how soft you are and isn’t afraid to cop a feel in and out of the bedroom if time allows it.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Joel LOVES watching you swallow his cum. He can’t get enough of it. A second runner up is creampies. Watching his seed slowly leak out of your pussy is a dream come true for him. Another contender is cumming all over your ass and/or tits. Anywhere on your body that he can get his hands on he wants to mark with his cum.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

One dirty secret of Joel’s is that he is a lover of feet. It’s nothing too extreme and he isn’t the type to sniff socks or suck on toes however you will catch him rubbing and massaging your soles a bit more often and somehow holding onto your feet while your legs are over his shoulders. He’s a lover of pretty painted toes. Simple.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

While his last married ended in shambles, he did pick up a thing or two on pleasing a woman. That experience has grown over the years with his small flings here and there with past girlfriends. So with you in the picture now, expect to have a very experienced Joel to guide you through all your secret kinks and fetishes.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

For Joel it’s a hard tie between doggystyle and cowgirl. Missionary used to be his thing back when he was a horny teenager but Joel has some years under his belt and has figured out what works best for him and his partners. He loves the way he can grip your hips and plow into you in doggystyle but adores the change of pace cowgirl gives where he lets you set the speed when riding him.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Joel is a mix of both. He can keep it together during an intense scene but if you start smiling and giggling at him (like you typically do), after a while he can’t keep it together and ends up breaking character by chuckling and asking “Darlin’, what’s so funny?”

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Joel is a hairy man and doesn’t see the need to shave or trim below the belt. He does’t expect that from his partner either. Just as long as you two are having fun and enjoying the moment, that’s all he asks. Pubes have never been an issue in Joel’s eyes and he honestly takes pride in the bush he rocks. Plus, who can find a razor during the outbreak? Let’s be real.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Joel is pretty romantic if I am being honest. He loves kissing you and looking into your eyes as he slowly fucks you. He’s much more of an observer and likes to watch your faces of pleasure as he touches you. He gets pretty deep in his role of being your dominant and takes pride in being the only one who sees you so thoroughly fucked after a session with him.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

While he won’t ever admit it to your face, he likes to jack off whenever he has the time to do so. Self pleasure is key. As naughty as this may be, he’s jacked it to the thought of you many times and even did it in the same room as you when you were sleeping. Before the outbreak, he loved taking his time jacking off and enjoying that post orgasm high. Now, quick and fast strokes are whats best to get him off and to stay alert. He doesn’t bask in the bliss anymore and tries to clean up as fast as he can.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Joel is an advocate of titjobs. While he is an ass man, something about sliding his cock in between a nice pair of breasts never fails to get him going. He loves pinching your nipples and loves to give your breasts a nice squeeze while he’s fucking them. He is a fan of bigger breasts but if you have a smaller chest, he will still love you the same! 

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Before (and even now) he has always appreciated a soft bed to pin you down and roughly fuck you in. Now that the outbreak is here, he loves to take you in semi-public places. Up against a table in the lookout or pushed upon the wall in a back alley somewhere in the city. Nothing will stop him from pounding into you if he has some privacy and the time to do so.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Simple answer: you. He cherishes the time he spends with you whether it be in public or private. But something about your scent drives you wild. You smell so feminine and it drives something primal inside him to just take you right then and there. It’s why he loves to kiss alongside your neck and leave hickies there. He gets to smell you better and mark up his woman. Two birds with one stone.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Joel isn’t the kinkiest person alive. While he loves choking, spanking, hair pulling, and biting, one thing he doesn’t want to partake in is bodily fluids. Saliva is fine for him (given he’s thought of spitting on your face and in your mouth on multiple occasions) but urine and feces? Nope. Joel loves to stay clean and those two things are the total opposite of what he wants. Plus urine and feces is a constant reminder of how bad the world has gone to shit (literally) and he doesn’t want to be reminded of that.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Joel LOVES to give oral. While he definitely doesn’t mind receiving a blowjob, something about the way his tongue feels inside of you makes it so addicting to him. He adores the taste of your pussy and honestly cannot get enough of it. The best feeling ever is having you wrap your legs around his neck while he goes to town on your clit.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Joel likes to switch it up every now and then. When it’s fast, his pace is brutal. His harsh deep thrusts are hard enough to leave slight bruising on your thighs. When it’s slow, expect soft and deep strokes that make you whimper until you cry. Either way, his main goal is to make you cum so hard you forget your name.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

As much as Joel likes quickies, he’s a fan of proper sex. Quickies get you off but proper sex is irreplaceable. The sounds. The intensity. The love. The cute faces you make when he hits that spot. He cannot get enough of you. Quickies can’t give him the same satisfaction that real sex gives.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Joel has always been a risk taker. He loves to experiment during sex and what he can do better to pleasure you more. He’s an experimentalist at heart. Semi-public sex is very arousing to him and the riskier it is, the more it gets him off. However, he is NOT one to be easily caught though the possibility of being caught is what gets him going.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Being a seasoned man in the sex department, expect to go around for at least an hour. Joel is all about the foreplay and the acts leading up to sex just as much as the actual act of sex itself. He can go for two rounds before having to hit the hay. However, given that he is getting older, his stamina will decline slightly though not by much.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He doesn’t own toys but doesn’t mind if his partner owns any. He’d honestly be surprised if you had any given the circumstances. He would use his partner’s toys on her as foreplay but will toss them aside once he’s actually ready to begin.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Joel is the KING of teasing!!! You’ve got to prove to him how much you wish to cum. He will edge you until you’re a drooling babbling mess. He will get you right there and then deny you and chuckle in your face about it.

“Oh you wanna cum? Beg for it then darlin’”.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He doesn’t get too loud during sex at all. Joel is more of a grunter than a moaner. When you’re gripping him in all the right ways. expect a curse or two to slip out.

“Fuck babygirl! You’re so wet for me. I love making a mess out of you.”

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Joel is a lover of degradation. He adores dirty talk and the filthier it is the better. He knows how it makes you so wet hearing his deep voice call you names.

“Does my filthy little whore want more of Daddy’s cock? Beg for it slut.”

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Joel, to put it in words, is hung like a horse and he is proud of it too! Eight inches in length and he is very girthy. Expect to be stretched to the max with him. He knows how his cock is drool worthy and loves whenever you get on your knees and start to tease him.

“Let’s see what that mouth of yours can do darlin’”.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Joel has always had a moderate sex drive. It was pretty high during his first marriage but after the divorce and his ex wife leaving him and Sarah, it decreased severely. Now it’s starting to pick up again after beginning a relationship with you. He now has the urge to masturbate again and wants to be closer to you.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Joel falls asleep pretty quickly after sex. He will get up to bring you a towel to wipe off any sweat but after he climbs back into bed, he is out like a light! No waking this sleeping bear unless you want to be punished for it (which could lead to a session of spanking and fyi being spanked by Joel ain’t that fun given his strength but hey maybe pain is your thing!)

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Sat[urday] 4 October 1834

7 5/..

12 3/4

No kiss ver[y] fine morn[in]g – out siding barn end for wind[ow] to be brok[e]n out for shop for Ch[arle]s H- [Howarth]

and wood to season in - br[eak]f[a]st at 9 1/2 and h[a]d Washingt[o]n till ab[ou]t 11 – his f[iel]d adjoin[in]g Hardcast[le]s cont[ai]ns

7964 y[ar]ds – cost h[i]m ab[ov]e £300 - calc[ulate]s frontage at 4/. p[e]r y[ar]d – where he wants to straighten

the fence (hedge) bet[ween] h[i]ms[elf] and me, ab[ou]t 50 y[ar]ds ac[re] – if I put the wall just behind the hedge, I sh[oul]d

want to ta[ke] at least 100 y[ar]ds at 3/. wh[a]t Pearson sold gr[ou]nd for for new Methodist chap[e]l to be built

on in Bramley lane - h[a]d bet[ter] buy the f[iel]d - w[oul]d ta[ke] £500 for it – A- [Adney] s[ai]d well! if I d[i]d n[o]t

ta[ke] it, perh[aps] W- [Washington] w[oul]d sell it to h[e]r - s[ai]d I w[oul]d th[in]k ab[ou]t it - gr[ea]t crowd at the Stags’ head

last night – Holt and W- [Washington] th[e]re lett[in]g the pit sink[in]g – John Mann took it at 23/. a y[ar]d

and driv[in]g for wat[e]r for Jo[h]n Bott[omel]y at 5/3 a y[ar]d and lit[tle] Jagger took the well-sink[in]g for Pickells

at Whiskum cot[tage] at 3/6 a y[ar]d Pickells took cart[in]g the stuff d[o]wn at 1/. a y[ar]d –

told W- [Washington] to set[tle] w[i]th Mark Town ab[ou]t an equival[en]t of manure in ret[ur]n for sell[in]g off his

oat straw – notices to quit s[e]nt to John Balmfirth John Oates and Th[oma]s Pearson in

1829 - disclaim[e]d the 2 latt[e]r – 1/6 each for serv[in]g th[e]m charg[e]d by Williamson a sheriffs’

offic[e]r - desir[e]d it to be p[ai]d – John Pearson says he succed[e]d his fath[e]r and f[ou]nd 3 f[iel]ds

plough[e]d out – the val[uatio]n of tenant right (w[i]thout skin-pits) am[oun]ts to £40 – Piece of druggett (dark

col[oure]d 66 y[ar]ds (good qual[it]y) at 2/9) ca[me] this morn[in]g fr[om] Ely Bates and c° Gibbet Lane - fr[om]

W-‘s [Washington] going ab[ou]t 11 for the rest of the day w[i]th Ch[arle]s H- [Howarth] or the masons or A- [Adney] planning ab[ou]t n[or]th ch[ambe]r and open[in]g prints fr[om] Lond[on] arriv[e]d yest[erday] – walk[e]d w[i]th h[e]r in the

gard[e]n 1 1/4 h[ou]r and th[e]n sat by h[e]r on the sofa in the bl[ue] r[oo]m 1/2 h[ou]r – lowish today about her aunt and

looking a little in her forlorn way   shall I be able to keep her right? out at 4 1/2 alone – 1 1/2 h[ou]r

in the walk - din[ner] at 6 35/.. - coff[ee] – A- [Adney] won 4 hits a [?] and th[e]n I g[o]t a gamm[o]n, and we ga[ve] up – we were th[e]n w[i]th my fath[e]r

and Mar[ia]n - st[ai]d w[i]th the latt[e]r till 9 55/.. - th[e]n 3/4 h[ou]r w[i]th my a[un]t – my fath[e]rs’ lit[tle] carr[ia]ge (britzka phaeton)

ca[me] th[i]s aft[ernoo]n by Percy of H[alifa]x pr[ice] p[ai]d d[o]wn £100 - wr[ote] the last 6 lines till 11 at

w[hi]ch h[ou]r F[ahrenheit] 64 1/2° - ver[y] fine day – A- [Adney] h[a]d a let[ter] th[i]s morn[in]g 3 p[ages] fr[om] the rev[eren]d Mr. Geo[rge] Fenton,

the ends fill[e]d and cross[e]d by his wife   to ask A- [Adney] to lend on their joint bond and on interest

four hundred pounds   helped A- [Adney] to indite letter civilly declining  saying she had had

within the last two years heavy expenses  more hung over her and she could not –

[im-totally-not-an-alien]

Final Fantasy 7 prompts # 34

1. Sephiroth makes Cloud have a full on mental breakdown and now he feels bad. On the other hand the blond is crying into his chest, and he's really not sure what to make of that.

2. Cloud Strife: King of the Chocobos

Yuffie wouldn't stop calling him that, particularly on the account that they were being followed be no less that nine chocobos. It doesn't help that it's mating season. Yuffie keeps telling him to flirt with them to get a free ride.

3. AVALANCHE giving Nanaki a bath, which somehow induces a water war

4. Protective Cloud looking out for Tifa. He somehow gets pulled into the "Bouncer" role

5. Vincent scaring off one of Clouds many stalkers (of which, Cloud is oblivious)

6. Tifa's wolf ring can call to/ summon Cloud in cases of emergencies via the wolf emblem on his pauldron. Kinda like a summon materia

7. I'm in love with the Commander Strife thing where he joins Shinra post time travel shenanigans and fixed everything.

So:

A. Commander Strife being babied by Genesis

B. Commander Strife becoming Zack and Clouds pseudo big brother

C. Sephiroth, Genesis, Angeal, Zack and Cloud try, and fail, to find out Commander Strifes first name.

D. Commander Strife babying the Infantrymen and looking out for them since few people in the company actually care about them.

E. Sephiroth and Commander Strife exploring the bond through the J-cells

F. Commander Strife is given a soft light blue sweater, "so he doesn't have to wear his uniform at the mall again"

G. Kunsel is obsessed with discovering Commander Strifes backstory. He has the corkboard with pictures and string and everything!

H. "Bold of you to assume I know what I'm doing." - Commander Strife

I. Someone vandalized six large walls within Shinras training facilities. Six whole beautiful and highly detailed paintings, each portraying one of the Commanders and one of the General. The last one was all of them together, standing side by side with thier swords at the ready.

The five people in question were so flattered that the investigation was halted and the paintings remained. The perpetrator(s?) was never caught.

J. Cadet Cloud sending home a picture of him and Commander Strife together, to his mom.

She couldn't help but laugh at the goofy faces they were making.

K. Commander Fair cackling madly as he sprinted down the corridors carrying a blushing Commander Strife while being chased by an enraged cake covered Reno.

....the troops decided that they saw nothing.

L. A picture at a holiday party with the four Commanders and the General, all with hot chocolate in hand and wearing a whipped cream mustache

M. Commander Strife just hands Zack a whistle and walks away.

Curious, Commander Fair blows the whistle, and is immediately swarmed by dogs.

N. Genesis drags Strife out on a spa day

O. The Commanders were all in a room when Zack started asking hypothetical questions about thigh high socks and stuff.

He questions how they keep them from sliding down.

Strife answers the question without thinking, and grumbled about how uncomfortable sagging thigh highs were.

===============================

He froze, jaw closing with an audible click and slowly looked behind him to see Genesis and Zack looking at him with an odd gleam in thier eyes.

"And pray tell, little bird," Genesis cooed with a overly sweet voice, "how would you know that?"

The blond panicked a little, "It's a long story."

Zack snuck up to his side and linked thier arms together, "A story that you will definitely be telling us...if you don't want any rumors!"

Cloud stared that them in disbelief, "You're blackmailing me?"

"Of course!" The redhead sang.

===============================

P. Cloud making Genesis a custom LOVELESS themed motorcycle as thanks for letting him cry on his shoulder. Literally.

Q. Everyone is in honeybee outfits. Reno snaps a picture, and runs for his life.

R. Commander Strife is confronted by a man who claims to be his father, which he knows is impossible for time traveler reasons.

He quickly realizes what the man wants when the guy demands a DNA test...after all, the science department has been practically foaming at the mouth, wanting a sample of his DNA.

S. Sephiroth never gave up on figuring out what the mysterious blonde was hiding. He becomes even more invested in his investigation when he hears him mention the Wutai princess by her first name. Suspicious.

T. While he was on the run with AVALANCHE, Strife had always slept with his group. Being the way he was he unconsciously sought out things that were both soft and firm to use as a pillow, which often lead him to sleeping on his team mates.

He wake with his head resting on Vincents chest, Barrets arm or Tifas abs and always, always, always, they would wake him gently by running thier fingers through his hair.

He missed them so much.

U. Vincent has rejoined the world, but refuses to fully rejoin the Turks. This doesn't stop them from throwing him a birthday party.

V. Vincent is commonly referred to as "Vincent the Vampire" and "My Valentine" by Zack and Genesis respectively.

W. Cloud met the chairman/ chairwoman for his fanclub and he realy wishes he didn't.

X. Commander Fair is forbidden from picking movies at movie night. Thats what he gets for bringing X-rated movies, Though the part that Strife didn't like was that everyone was trying to cover his eyes and ears. He wasn't a child!

Y. Commander Strife runs into younger Tifa and has to explain that no, he is not Cloud.

She doesn't believe him.

Z. Zack, Kunsel, and Sephiroth somehow wind up inside Commander Strifes head and decide to snoop. They find out everything and aren't sure how to proceed.

8. Time travel fix it, but from Kunsels perspective

9. Time travel fix it, but from Zacks point of view and he gets caught up in the madness

10. Time travel fix it, but from random SOLDIERS/ Turks point of view

11. Clouds mom goes back in time and takes her 13 year old son by the hand and, armed with only a few materia, marched into the ShinRa mansion and went strait to Vincent.

She gives the wide eyed Turk the tounge lashing of a lifetime. She becomes enraged however, after the former ShinRa spy gives her some flimsy excuse and slams his coffin closed. Long story short, she drags the man out by his cloak with her son close behind, fiddling with his small sword and glaring at the man as if daring him to do anything to his Ma.

Valentine is baffled.

12. Reno makes the wrong move and Cloud finally snaps, telling him exactly where he can shove his rod

13. Cloud is just so tired of being grossly hit on and sexually harassed. He starts coming up with one liners/ insults /refrances to combat the crude remarks.

Example:

Woman: How big is your ****?

Cloud: *said in the tone of those tootsiepop commercials* The world may never know.

14. Tifa gets turned into a frog, but doesn't turn back. Even when using maidens kisses and ensuna she remained an amphibian.

Aerith convinces Cloud to kiss Tifa, which he does, shyly on the cheek. She poofs back to her normal self and they both blush while the flower girl giggles.

No one even suspected that it was her doing.

15. Sephiroth revives and meets Cloud and Tifa's kids, who took one look at him and decided to latch onto his legs and demand his attention.

They also boldly declared him to be thier uncle/ the moon God, and tell him all about thier wierd family.

They told Sephiroth that he'd fit right in with AVALANCHE, to which he genuinely laughed at the irony of the situation.

[prismy-sprout]

*Applejack and Rainbow Dash are opening their wedding gifts after the ceremony* Applejack: Alright, so far we have... Our wedding cake from Pinkie, made with all the types of apples in Equestria, and even fresh Zap Apples. Now we can see why she asked us to postpone the event until the harvest season. Our wedding dresses from Rarity, we´re not the kind of mares to wear too fancy clothing, but Ah can asure you, we´ll be usin´ these ones for the next gala, she hitted the nail when we said we liked comfy clothing. Rainbow Dash: And Fluttershy´s gift, that´s possibly the best one yet. *Rainbow Dash points towards Tank who´s wearing a tuxedo and a small top hat, and Winona who´s wearing a gown and a flower crown* Twilight Sparkle: Which means that there´s only one gift left. This one is both from Cadence and I. *Twilight handles them a small wrapped package, it´s obviously a book* Applejack: You got us that farming book we saw ages ago on Canterlot´s library? Twilight Sparkle: Nope Rainbow Dash: Or a signed Daring Do book from A.K Yearling? Twilight Sparkle: Not even close Applejack and Rainbow Dash: *starts unwrapping the book, until it finally reveals the cover*

"The Art of Love and Other Couple´s Stuff"

By Princess Cadence Twilight Sparkle: It´s a book she´ll be releasing next year, but since you two just got married, she decided to give you girls the first copy. Fluttershy: That´s a very thoughtful gift from Cadence. Pinkie Pie: Yeah, who´s better to teach them about marriage than the princess of love herself. Rarity: It must be delightful, a whole book about love and romance, I can´t wait to get a copy for myself... Ummm, darlings, are you two ok? Applejack and Rainbow Dash: *their faces are bright red, after flipping a couple of pages, they realize the book is not only about how to handle a happy and healthy marriage. BUT ALSO is a book about the "other" kind of love* Applejack, nervous: Oh, it´s nothin´ were only... ummm... Rainbow Dash: Really flattered for such and awesome gift... YEAH, that´s it. *nervous laughter* Twilight Sparkle, knowing exactly why they got like that: I knew you girls would love it... Oh, I almost forgot, Cadence also sent this note with the book. *handles them a pink letter* Applejack and Rainbow Dash: *reading outloud* Be sure to tell me about EVERYTHING you´ve learn with this book, don´t skip any detail enjoy the book 💗 - Cadence Applejack and Rainbow Dash: *internally screaming*

[obscuralll]

Guys idk this random emptiness suddenly hits me fucking thanks togashi and now i just want to be nostalgic about how i met hxh bc no lie hxh shaped me

I started reading hxh when i was 10 i checked the publishing date of my vol 01 comic and it was 2013 yeah i know it was very late but i live in indonesia what do you expect

My first impressions

Gon *h-holds gently*

Killua *hhh-h-holds gentlier* sqroonch a fucking living heart *😟😟😱s r e e c h*

Kurapimom

Leoridad

Die tonpa

Illumi is mine MINE he cute asf i repeat cute as fuck oh and he prob plays minecraft

Rihanna where’s the album why you’re with the zoldyck

The zoldyck radiates same energy as the kardashian don’t change my mind

Hisoka you stay AWAY from the bois ass

And i refuse to think about what happened at the heaven arena...

Chrollo pls adopt me

Then i stopped around greed island arc bc there were no new volumes in my local book store for like a year💀💀

But thank god the anime was started to air in animax... i remember watching hxh was my coping mechanism on my awkward transition from elementary to middle school lmao

But the anime was only until the end of greed island i deadass thought it was the fucking end gon and killua had finally find ging so now it just ends?? You know what??? F u c k ! (idk it was kite, and the new seasons aired like more or less a year after that)

THEN THE COMICS REEMERGED FROM NO WHERE ALL SUDDENLY... Now it’s 🐜 time

But damn togashi... Since when it got so depressing???

And that’s on post chimera ant voidness✨

Around that time (or should i call it... The Great Depression) my aunt went to japan and bought me hxh vol 19 and the special hand book idk i don’t really know the name bc it’s entirely in japanese and hunter alphabet (yeah the “minecraft enchantment table alpahabet” lmao)

This book made me feel like a real hunter lol i used to always carrying it everywhere even though i can’t understand a word

Yeah i also did the water divination thing and i was so confident that i’m a specialist... Good old days

I made a nen poster which were my drawings of nen principles and types ajshsgs

My parents were confused as hell lolll

And i bought the hunter license and Gon’s necklace thing i still have it until now just don’t know where hhh

Hxh was the first anime that made me UGLY SOBBING especially in the comic bc it just hits different... But for real how can such a chemistry being built between a blind girl and a monstrous being??? I could write an essay for this but for now: respect togashi ✊

Hxh left me with so many questions there will be unlimited story if you breakdown all the important characters

I really want to know illumi’s teenage life

Hisoka’s past

Phantom troupe past (i remember in one flashback they were passing-throwing a cassette and it was drawn like it has crucial role BUT IT’S NVR MENTIONED AGAIN bet togashi forgot lol)

The troupe’ members character backgrounds (how they met, their personal life out of the troupe activities)

Gon’s birth (i read it some where that it might be possible that he has no biological mother bc gon was actually from gi card or sumn?? I need to research)

Nanika origin (the most make sense theory is nanika is ai from dark continent that might be brought by zzig zoldyck)

Netero-ging or Pariston-ging encounter

At this point idk how many times i have rewatched and rereading hxh... But i prefer reading actually and i still bought the physical comic too... The latest vol in my house atm is 36 and i continue by reading online

I just... Want to read new hxh😔🥺

...

I was 10

And now i’m almost 17

I’ve never been this obsessed and being in a fandom this long, despite all the ✨tortures💫either from the story itself or the hiatus

I’m so mad...but

I really pray for togashi’s health

It just... hxh is not just a fiction for me... Idk it feels real an essay may not be enough for me to describe it... haha💀

I literally forgot why am i writing this... It’s supposed to fill the void now i am the v o i d 😔😔😔