#but rhats her guilt dripping hersekf talking | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

othercrossee · 2 years ago

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Could u imagine irida, altho trained for so long to be the next leader, never believed in herself to sucessfully be chosen? how she felt when her name was called upon after all day shed been telling her older friend palina she was the one to take on duty? Could u imagine the anxiety? The feeling that she had betrayed the only person who had treated her with an ounce of care? The feeling that her entire world was shifting? How she had to keep a smile and a prideful look to appear as the correct answer, a strong new leader to lead her people? How she realizes lina and her could never be friends on equal ground? Although it was never equal to begin with?

#z rambles #the *never equal to begin with* is about their age gap and personality differences. palina is older more calm collected responsible caring #and overall she was....perfect in iridas eyes. she admired her. maybe more than a friend and she was guilty #guilty of how much she was holding her driend to such extend but palina? seeinf irida train and become a leader was....conflicting #on one hand she deserves it she worked so hard but why am i. older and better in every way. discarded from the position #she was happy but she was upset. envious? but between them will aythinf change? hadnt they been.....equal?#baaically irida always see palina stabdinf taller better than her snd she was a mother figure she csnt surpass #so there was no equal in that dynamic #and now palina who had always been standinf tall feel irida is now above her and its strange she feels the dynamic had switched #and she wants it ti he normal. the same as back then but it csnt be cuz back then wasnt equal either #they were never stabding on equal ground. they were never close enough to understood each other #u see irida becoming leader wouldve put them on the same level right? but palina sees different and irida feels like its not right either #but rhats her guilt dripping hersekf talking #its just awful #its complex and its awful and things could nevee go back to how it was. cuz no natter what one of them or both will always be unhappy #to me. these two would have a talk and develop their relationship for years #this aint the type of shit that one talk was gonna fix everything. both of them got issues

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