#but our cousin came to visit for a few hours a couple days ago and she said she was really tired then yesterday she said she has covid

[guinevereslancelot]

not my mom getting covid after avoiding it this long 😭

[thescribblingtourist]

PEI: The Little House at 83 Reuben's Lane

There’s a small white house for sale on top of a bluff overlooking the Baltic River in Darnley, PEI. The owner is asking $249,900. Now before you plunk down a cool quarter of a million dollars, or something close to it, why don’t we go back in time…to 1956.

My mother’s cousin, Hazel Wall and her husband Reuben, bought what was then a tiny house converted from an old shed for $400. Reuben was fishing lobster and also farming on his father’s land in the Baltic at the time. He came home one day and said he had a notion to move to Darnley, and he had heard that Forbes Thompson had this small place for sale. At the time it was used by the night watchman, who kept the fires burning in the lobster factory. So the young Wall couple plunked down their $400 and went to work.

They had someone dig out the basement using a horse that pulled out dirt one slow bucket at a time. They poured a small foundation and moved into their new home in 1957.

While Reuben made lobster traps in the basement, Hazel was in the attic hammering nails into rough boards over two-by-fours to make a floor, all the while hunched over and crawling on her hands and knees. The only place she could stand up was the exact centre of the house.

The shed’s windows had been insulated with old jeans and rags, so Hazel yanked those out. She also used a fork to claw out the seaweed used to insulate the walls. Over time, it had dried out to the brittleness of potato chips. She hauled out mounds of it and tossed it over the bank. The old seaweed didn’t fall quite far enough to meet the outgoing tide, so remained there for years.

When they could afford real insulation for the attic, up went Hazel again. She remembers one day when her knee poked through the thin plywood floor, damaging their bedroom ceiling. To hide the blemish, they covered the hole with stucco. Lanterns fuelled with naptha gas provided light until electricity came a few years later.

I remember childhood visits to 83 Reuben’s Lane in the mid-1960s. We were always intrigued that they had a Radio Shack VHF radio on the shelf above their bed. They kept it on 24 hours a day to listen for fishermen who might be in trouble, weather bulletins and the occasional police radio traffic. To this day, Hazel has that same radio in her Kensington home. She says it hasn’t been turned off since the day they bought it…more than 50 years ago.

The house is just up the hill from where the old lobster plant stood, which had been owned by the McNutts of Malpeque and the Murphy family of Seaview. For a time, coal was hauled there and stored. My mother remembers working at the fish plant one summer when she was 14. Today the building is gone.

Reuben passed away in 1994 and Hazel stayed in the little house for another ten years. In 2004, a realtor suggested that she list it for the grand sum of $14,000. But no one wanted it. Not even to haul away to another property. Not even to get the acre of land and its panoramic view of the water.

So she gave the house to her family. A grand-daughter lived there for a short time. As did her son. It sold eventually, and in the years since, owners have added a door, laid new shingles, renovated the interior and built long, railed steps to both doors. It makes the 968-square foot house look much bigger than it is.

Now here we are in 2016, looking at the Internet ad for a house from our past.

The small white bungalow at 83 Reuben’s Lane – that was once an old shed, was bought for $400, whose basement was dug by horse and bucket, was insulated by old rags and seaweed, the house no one wanted – can now be yours for a paltry $249,900.

The ad describes it as ‘a unique waterfront home located on a stunning inlet in Darnley, sitting on a large 1.2 acre lot’.

Over the telephone, Hazel chuckles as she recalls the home’s humble beginnings. As she puts it, “Oh I suppose some fool with money will come along and take it.”

In 1956, to a young Island couple just starting out, it was a place to call home and start a family. And how do you put a price on that?

[xanadontit]

If my mom got therapy she could easily pay for a therapist’s kitchen remodel

Family shitshow but from MY side just to switch things up. Keep it fresh!

Background: my mom found out in her 40s that she was adopted at birth. She stumbled upon her adoption paperwork and was in shock. My grandpa was long gone and my grandma was dealing with dementia. Extended family didn’t offer much help and even my uncle said “They left the house on Christmas Eve to run an errand and came back with you. They said ‘this is your baby sister, NAME’ and we never talked about it again.” My uncle was 12.

My mom found her birth mother via a PI and it turns out she was the product of an extramarital affair. Her bio mom was married with three kids and when she told her husband she was pregnant by another man (obvious because he was stationed abroad) he told her to “deal with it” or he’d divorce her and take their children. Since it was 1955 the options were throw herself down some stairs or adoption, and she asked her MIL for help. The MIL got her in touch with my grandparents (she and my grandma were cousins) and they agreed to adopt the baby with a few stipulations: 1) closed adoption 2) my grandparents would pay all medical expenses 3) none of them would speak of this again. The birth mother agreed, and a few months later my grandparents picked her up from the hospital. A couple years later my grandparents moved to the mainland. The birth mother stayed with her husband until his death a few years ago and they went on to have one more child.

Mom has been in touch with her birth mother over the years, but it didn’t really pick up until her husband died. Apparently he was still salty about the affair 60 years later, but confessed on his deathbed that he made his wife give up a baby. Mom has met two of her half siblings and is touch with all of them. Three are still in Hawaii and one is just a little over an hour from my mom in CA. They have been enthusiastic about getting to know my mom and seem nice enough.

My mom wasn’t having much luck with finding her birth father; her bio mom’s husband was listed on the birth certificate and her bio mom couldn’t remember the guy’s last name (girl, I get it) giving my mom basically nothing to go on. 23andme gave her tons of matches on her bio mom’s side, but she recently got a hit on Ancestry. Her bio dad died last year. Through some FB sleuthing she found some siblings and reached out. She’s been talking to a half brother for a few days now. No one had any idea about her existence and she seems almost...offended? When I asked her what the hell she expected the man to say she admitted she didn’t know. “I had an affair with a married woman and she gave up our baby for adoption. No idea if it was a boy or a girl or where they live. Have fun!” Like, come on, Mom. 

We’ve been invited to the birth mother’s 90th birthday party this month and we’re going. My stepdad has finals and E opted to stay home and let us enjoy the mother-daughter trip (lol he just doesn’t want to deal with my mom and I totally respect that) so it’ll be the two of us. And yes, we both have mixed feelings about visiting Hawaii knowing the native population has been vocal about not bringing Covid to the islands but this woman is turning 90 and we’re not going to have a lot of chances. Plus as she said “Well, I’m inviting you and will give you a pass for being from the mainland.” Lol. 

Obviously some nerves are kicking in and we’ve been talking about the visit and my mom mentioned that she has an old photo of her birth dad from his obituary and is planning to show that to her birth mom and tell her the man is dead. I have no idea why - other than causing drama and hurting feelings in the name of “telling it like it is” - she is planning to do this. What does this serve? Who does this help? Can I not be there when this happens so none of these people think I condone this? 

It’s so on brand for my mom to be able to turn a trip to one of the most relaxing places on earth into something anxiety-inducing. I know she’s also relying on me to be her emotional support daughter and the fun, outgoing one as we meet 40+ relatives and if I don’t perform my duties to her liking it’ll be a whole thing. She did spring for first class tickets though so it won’t be all terrible!

[ibijau]

Oh, here's a prompt! Nie Huaisang travels back in time to ensure that Jin Guangyao stays away from the Jin sect. When he gets back, he's disturbed to find that not only is Meng Yao now his stepbrother (or has at least become a very respected disciple of the Nie sect), but is also now engaged to Lan Xichen. Cue screaming and/or fainting. But at least Minjue is still alive, right?

It was surprisingly easy to make it all happen, much to Nie Huaisang's surprise. In stories time travel was always so complicated to orchestrate, with so much to plan for... but Nie Huaisang had just done it, and it seemed to be working well.

His first stop had been to Meng Shi, shortly after the birth of her son. He could have gone back further and prevented her from ever having that son, but... but at the end of the day, he'd been impossibly fond of Meng Yao even if he'd grown to hate Jin Guangyao. The solution, then, had been to visit his mother and make sure she didn't fill her son's head with impossible dreams.

It had taken some money to get Meng Shi out of the brothel for a few days, and she'd been quite suspicious of him at first. But Nie Huaisang had been a gentleman, and she'd warmed up to him a little. She'd even given up on trying to seduce him once he'd explained that while not opposed to feminine charms on occasion, he mostly cut his sleeve. She'd acted quite sorry for him when he'd explained that actually, he'd just gotten out of a long relationship that had ended badly due to some trust issues and a the betrayal of a man they'd believed to be their friend. Meng Shi had shared a few stories as well, some her own, most her colleagues'.

By the time they'd arrived in Lanling, Nie Huaisang had become quite attached to Meng Shi, and decided he might change his plans a little, depending on what would happen in the next few days.

Meng Shi was not happy to meet other women who'd had the dubious pleasure of sharing Jin Guansghan's bed. She was even less happy to talk to them and learn that none of them, not a single one, had ever received money or attention again after he'd left them, not even those who'd had a child. One of them, the servant of a powerful family of merchants, had gone begging at the door of the Jin sect when her three years old daughter had fallen sick with something nobody understood. She'd been sent home under threats of a beating if she ever showed up again, and her daughter had died.

That had been nearly four years earlier. Jin Guangshan hadn't been sect leader yet, but he'd been his father's favourite and most spoiled son, so he would have had the power to do anything he pleased, including sending a doctor to his daughter, or having her brought into Jinlin Tai to make sure no dark spirit was attacking her. He wasn't even engaged to his wife at the time, so it was impossible to use her to excuse his lack of care. And he'd known about the child's sickness, because he'd happened to be passing by when the mother came begging for help. It was he who had ordered she be sent away, annoyed by her crying.

Meng Shi had gone paler and paler as that poor woman told her tale of sorrow, clutching her son tighter against her chest. When Nie Huaisang and her had returned to their inn, she had asked him why he'd wanted her to meet those other women.

“I just don't like what he's doing,” Nie Huaisang replied, a little embarrassed that he hadn't thought she might get curious. It was stupid of him. Meng Yao surely couldn't have gotten his brains from his father after all.

Meng Shi, sitting on her bed, rocked her infant son in her arms in silence for a moment.

“They were all weak,” she said after a while.

“Who?”

“Those other women. They were all weak.”

Nie Huaisang tensed, fearing that she might announce she was cut of another cloth, that she would persevere where they had given up, but Meng Shi only sighed and kissed her son's forehead.

“He picked them so they were young and would have no one to turn to. Servants and prostitutes and unwanted daughters... he picked us so we'd have no one to turn to when he'd abandon us, no one to defend our honour and force him to pay for the children he made us have. Women like us, it's our own fault for getting pregnant in the first place, isn't it?”

Nie Huaisang stared at her, and realised she was right. He'd been so busy collecting names, he hadn't paused to wonder if there had been a pattern to Jin Guangshan's actions.

“Are there any more you want me to meet?” Meng Shi asked.

“No, she was the last one.”

“Then I suppose we'll started heading back to Yunping City tomorrow. I'll have to make new plans for...”

“No, we're not going back,” Nie Huaisang announced, startling her. “It's too unfair if you go back, you deserve better. Both of you deserve better!”

She blinked a few times, and gave him an amused smile, still rocking her baby. She didn't believe him, of course. Nie Huaisang could hardly blame her for that. After her last experience with a cultivator...

But Meng Shi really did deserve better. Nevermind that in a future he hoped to have now prevented, he'd desecrated her body to get back at her son, this was a different thing. Meng Shi was not a bad person. He'd once thought her guilty of ambition at least, but after a couple weeks in her company, he realised she'd just been desperate for a chance to escape her lot in life. He couldn't really hate her for that, even if it had led to such tragedies after her death.

Nie Huaisang liked her now that he'd met her, and he couldn't condemn her and her son to a worse fate than what they'd have known without him.

He needed a plan.

He needed a smart plan.

He had a plan.

“So, I might have lied a little, you're going back to the brothel,” Nie Huaisang said, earning an unimpressed smirk. “But not for long! I'm going to try something but... would you be willing to lie about who sired your son?”

“Why not? At this point, the truth won't get me much.”

“Perfect. Then I'm going to warn my sect that I have fathered a child, and that I'm unable to care for it at the moment. I'll have to write to them but... but I know Nie zongzhu will immediately send for you. He'll probably ask after me, he hasn't seen me in nearly a decade, but I know he won't have forgotten his cousin Nie Xingyu, and he'll do what's right for my son and his mother.”

And there was no risk of the real Nie Xingyu ever returning to ruin that story, Nie Huaisang knew. His father's beloved cousin, who'd become a rogue cultivator after an argument with their grandfather, had actually died a year or two before Nie Mingjue was even born. A Night Hunt accident, one which Nie Huaisang had discovered by chance while investigating some of Jin Guangyao's crimes. But he remembered his father always hoped to see Nie Xingyu return, always speaking so highly of that cousin who had been almost a brother to him.

Nie Huaisang's father would be delighted to meet his cousin's son, and if “Nie Xingyu” asked for it he would buy Meng Shi's contract in a heartbeat. It would only be a matter of convincing sect leader Nie then, and Nie Huaisang wasn't worried about that. His father had kept all the letters his cousin used to send and read them to his sons, so Nie Huaisang was confident he could imitate his prose and handwriting, not to mention he too carried the Nie seal to mark that letter.

At worst, if it didn't work, Nie Huaisang could always find the money somewhere to buy that contract in person and try to find somewhere to leave Meng Shi, but he'd rather know that she and Meng Yao were safe and sound in the Unclean Realm.

Meng Shi, of course, looked unimpressed by his plan. She still thought he was lying, or trying to sell wonders like other men before him so they could share her bed for a reduced fee, or demand more of her than they'd paid for. Nie Huaisang didn't mind. If people's opinions of him mattered, he would have chosen a different way to avenge his brother, wouldn't he?

-

It took nearly a month after Nie Huaisang had brought Meng Shi back to her brother, but one morning, from the room he'd rented across the street, he saw a small group of Nie cultivators go in. His father was among them, and when they excited the building, he was carrying little Meng Yao in his arms and chatting cheerfully with Meng Shi who seemed shocked at this turn of events.

Unseen by her Nie Huaisang smiled, and went to activate the talisman that would take him back to his own time. Hopefully this would have been enough to save Nie Mingjue. And if it hadn't... well, he knew how to travel to the past now.

-

Nie Huaisang opened his eyes. He was in his room, and yet not. This was what used to be his room when he was young, before he became sect leader. A little smaller, a little more private, with a view on a small private garden where he kept his favourite birds. Hisroom, the one he'd always preferred, and had only abandoned in a desperate attempt to be the leader he'd thought his people would need. If he still lived in this room, then it meant Nie Huaisang wasn't sect leader.

Delighted by this apparent victory, Nie Huaisang sprung to his feet and rushed out of the room, only to run head first into someone.

He'd ran into that person enough times that he knew them instantly, even before seeing their face.

“Well someone is in a hurry,” Nie Mingjue said with a laugh.

A laugh.

Nie Mingjue was laughing. Nie Huaisang couldn't even remember the last time he'd heard his brother laugh like this. Not since the Sunshot Campaign, he thought.

“Your cousins haven't arrived yet,” said someone standing just a step behind Nie Mingjue, her voice also full of laughter. “You didn't oversleep, don't worry.”

It took all of Nie Huaisang's willpower to look away from his brother (Nie Mingjue, happy, laughing, healthy) but he managed it, because that other voice was a little too familiar.

It was odd to find Meng Shi in her fifties when just a few hours ago, Nie Huaisang had seen her in her early twenties. Her hair had turned grey, there were wrinkles on her face, and she had exchanged the bold colours she used to wear at the brothel for the muted tones the Nie sect favoured. It suited her. Growing old suited her, if only because she would never have had the chance, had Nie Huaisang not changed her fate.

“I think he's not quite awake yet,” Nie Mingjue teased when Nie Huaisang stared too long, poking his little brother in the shoulder. “But at least I don't have to drag him out of bed. Can I leave the rest to you, auntie?”

Meng Shi smiled, and assured him she'd make sure Nie Huaisang was ready for his cousins' arrival. Nie Mingjue thanked her and left. Nie Huaisang almost ran after him, suddenly needing to touch him, to hug him, to make sure this was real, that he had truly...

“Now it's finally you,” Meng Shi noted, earning a curious glance. “I've realised a few years ago that you looked oddly similar to the man who helped me. Too similar to simply count it as family resemblance. But until today, you didn't look quite right either.”

When Nie Huaisang could only blink at her, she laughed.

“I thought so. I've been wondering for years, but... you did something to change what was meant to happen, didn't you?”

“I did. I wanted... I needed to save certain people.”

“Your brother,” Meng Shi guessed.

Nie Huaisang nodded.

“And my son?”

He nodded again. “Where is he? Is he well? He learned cultivation, right?”

Meng Shi smiled proudly. “He's one of the best in his generation, people keep telling me. He's married now, and living with his husband, but they come visit often. They wanted me to come live with them in the Cloud Recesses, but it's too cold for me over there, and I like the friends I've made here in Qinghe, so I... is something wrong?”

Nie Huaisang nodded, then shook his head. “His husband?”

“A-Yao is married to Lan zongzhu,” she explained. “I would have preferred if he'd married a woman, but Lan zongzhu is a very good husband to him, and they always seem so very happy when they're together. It's all a mother can truly wish for, isn't it? To see her child settled and happy.”

Nie Huaisang said nothing.

He did not run back into his room, didn't hurriedly prepare some ink so he could draw another time travelling talisman and set things right. It was tempting, so tempting. But Nie Huaisang resisted that temptation, and forced himself to smile.

“I'm so happy for them,” he mumbled after a while, and hoped he would learn to mean it.

[mr2swap]

After Christmas: 2

I knew this would end badly since the first time my mother mentioned me this year we would travel to Texas to visit my aunt Adelyn and spend Christmas with her and her family, don't take it the wrong way, my aunt Adelyn is pretty cool and kind but … My cousins and the rest of their family is… disgusting.

Don't get me wrong, they are good people but spending more than 5 minutes in the same room with my cousins makes me want to change my last name and get away as quickly as possible from that smelly cabin they call a farm.

They're a bunch of idiot rednecks who hopefully finished high school, when you are clear that you will work your whole life among the pig shit and covered in dirt watching the corn grow on your family's farm, you don't have to make an effort to spend all the time. night studying for a math or english test ... or any other class.

the last time i visited my aunt's farm was a couple years ago and i swore i'd never go back to this dump, on that side of my family a party means blaring country music in her stinky barn with leftover shit from horse on the ground and everyone partying, eating and drinking beer like it was the last night of their lives, too loud and dirty for me.

so we packed our bags and took the train straight to texas, we left behind the white christmas i had waited so long to get to a hot ranch in the middle of nowhere, the view was pretty, blue skies and greenery was everywhere, well It was like that until I noticed who came to pick them up at the train station was my cousin Cooper.

He appeared with a smile showing his yellow and crooked teeth, without a shirt to protect him from the strong rays of the sun showing a pair of badly done tattoos and with a beer can in one hand and waving with the other.

-It seems that nothing has changed in years- I whispered to my mother before she turned to see me angry with a look in her eye that clearly said "be nice, don't say those things"

Thank god we only stayed for Christmas and tomorrow morning I would say goodbye to them so as not to see them again in another year, apparently not only Cooper had not changed anything in all these years the whole family was exactly how a band remembered her of rednecks, dirty and idiots. my mother was really happy to be reunited with her sister after so long and well I was just counting the hours on my phone to get out as quickly as possible.

when the night came the "Christmas" party started if you can call a bunch of drunk guys in a barn acting like dirty cavemen to Christmas, I preferred to get away from all that is not that I didn't like the party it's just that I would rather be having a quiet dinner with my parents than being at a noisy party and having to skip my routine at the gym because I drank my weight in beer the day before.

-cousin! why are you out here? Aren't you having fun? - When I thought I had escaped from my family when I returned home and sat down, Cooper appeared behind me with a big smile on his crooked teeth, he approached me with a couple of beers in his hands.

"It's ... it's just too much for me," I said clearly nervous. copper extended her hand to my chest with one of the beer cans and I politely declined saying that I was on a special diet -oh come on boy for a beer you won't lose your huge muscles, one won't hurt you- and when I notice that He wouldn't leave until I had a drink, took her hands and took a small sip while he looked at me with that crooked smile.

It tasted a little strange and I had never seen this brand in my city, otherwise when Cooper brought it it was open perhaps the gas had already escaped from the can, I don't usually drink a lot I prefer to spend the nights in the gym at my university or practicing some sport, although I have to admit that the beer didn't taste bad at all.

I and Cooper were talking for a while while we both drank a little the most hurried drank can after can and I just a few small sips of the beer that I had in my hands, maybe he was already completely drunk when he began to say how much he envied me ever since we were, I was always more, handsome, strong, smarter and had many more opportunities to go to university but the most important thing he told me was the last thing I heard from him -Whatever… see you next year cousin-

I don't know what exactly happened next, my mind is still very confused, I try to remember it but I can't, but the next day I woke up in Cooper's disgusting body with the biggest headache I've ever had in my fucking life and the horrible texas heat did not help me feel more comfortable, I was outside the house next to the pig pen, maybe Cooper dragged me here or maybe this body was so drunk that I forgot what happened the day before, I doubt that I can remember it some day.

And not only did my body reek of all the beer Cooper had drunk last night, but also the smelly sweat of a hot afternoon at the farm. Why the hell was it so hot? I searched my pockets for my cell phone and the only thing I found was Cooper's old cell phone. 2:35 PM my family was gone hours ago and Cooper was gone too.

Now the hideous tattoos, hairy armpits, that southern accent, crooked teeth, cooper's manners and intelligence, addiction to alcohol and marijuana, it was all mine now I just hope wherever that son of a bitch is he's prepared for next year…

------

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[it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream]

Opposites attract (Paul Lahote x Reader)

Warnings: swearing? I don't really think there are any tbh. 

Word count : 2.2k

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Sweet as pie. That’s the way people tend to describe you. So why on earth did you ever think that bad boy Paul Lahote would ever like you? It was stupid really. You’d had a crush on him since you were little and it didn’t seem to stop there. It wasn’t a phase you grew out of. Everything inside you screamed when he was near. But he hardly noticed you at all. None of the guys on the res did. At least, you didn’t think they did. You’d given up hope a long time ago that he would ever see you more than just a little girl he’d grown up with. 

Leah Clearwater, your best friend thought you were stupid. She didn’t understand why someone as nice as you would waste your time liking him anyway. He was hot headed, a flirt and extremely unpredictable. Leah didn’t like him partly because he was a member of Sams group, they had always been friendly but something had changed within some of the guys on the res. They were closer than ever now, like a little gang. It wasn’t only the boys who had changed, you’d notice a change in Leah too, maybe it wad because of all she had gone through, you couldn’t put your finger on it.

Leah and Sam had dated for three years, one day Sam up and left, no explanation, leaving Leah lost and alone. Then he decided to reappear and instead of giving Leah an explanation, broke up with her and started pursuing Leah’s cousin Emily young instead. Let’s just say she didn’t really get along with the guys anymore, or Emily, who she used to be so close with. You were her rock and she was yours. You know she never wanted to see you go through the same heartbreak. 

It was summer break and you and Leah had decided to get away for a few weeks. Being surrounded by the same people day in and out got a bit much. Especially when you lived in the small community you did. You hadn’t gone too far away, only to Vancouver. It was just nice to have some freedom, be somewhere no one knew you. Leah was relieved to get away, it just meant she wouldn’t have to be around Sam as much. While you were studying a higher education, she had started a mechanic apprenticeship with the one and only Sam Uley, it was her best opportunity, even if she didn’t like to spend time near him, that’s what she told you anyway. 

It was your second week in Vancouver, you’d been sightseeing, visiting museums that would help with your studies but you also just took the time to relax. Everything was going amazing. Until that night.

The fancy restaurant had been your idea, you had both been enjoying your time away, but for some reason since arriving in Vancouver you’d been feeling off. Your mood swings were off the charts and you didn’t understand why, you never wanted to take anything out on Leah, you didn’t even have a reason to be moody, and yeah it was summer, but somedays you felt overly hot, like you had a fever and then it would disappear like it was nothing. This friend date was a way for you to make it up to her. She didn’t seem bothered by your change in attitude though, she seemed more concerned if anything.

You were both sat in the restaurant waiting for your food to arrive, talking about silly shit, laughing together obnoxiously, drinks flowing thanks to your fake ID, everything was going perfect until three men came floating through the front door. They were stunning. Absolutely beautiful. At this point you were sure you were staring, one of the men turned his head, caught your eye and winked at you flashing a toothy grin. You blushed and looked away, Leah kicked you under the table.

“What, he’s good looking, the red contact lenses are a bit strange though.” You titled your head to the side pondering the thought, not realising that Leah had gone extremely quiet. Then something weird happened. Your body started heating up like it had done in the past few days, your palms were sweaty, your hands shook a little and your head started to ache. You felt weird. You couldn’t focus. Leah was saying your name but you couldn’t really hear her, it was a little muffled and then…. then nothing. You were feeling alright again. You looked up Leah’s face one of terror mixed with concern. 

“Do you wanna get out of here? I saw a burger van on the way we could just go back to the room.” You nodded. Not feeling the fancy atmosphere anymore. Maybe you should see a Doctor. 

-Leah’s POV-

“Of all the places we could go, there’s leaches here too?” Leah was pissed, this is what she had been hoping to get away from but fate was a bitch. Not only that, but she was pretty sure her best friend was going through the change in front of her very eyes. She guessed she wasn’t the only female shifter anymore. 

At one point she had paused during the dinner. Actually at a couple of points. The first, when she had watched you sip two cocktails like they were water. She was impressed, goodie-too-shoes who? Second, when the leaches walked in through the very crowded restaurant, and third, when the pack back home had heard Leah’s thoughts, the boys were worked up. Sam being Sam, was ordering Leah back immediately, worried she would accidentally phase putting you at risk. Also, they were worried that you would shift for the first time. They all knew how unpredictable it could be. One little thing could set you off and BOOM, shift in front of hundred of humans. Leah being Leah liked to defy Sam, so it came as no shock that she refused to cut the trip short. She did have a valid point though, what would she tell Y/N? 

Leah was glad when she’d manage to persuade you to leave the building, burgers were actually sounding like a good idea right about now. Watching you sit and get wasted was fun, but she wished she could join in sometimes and not have to pretend. She was worried that the Vamps would follow after catching her scent. If they knew what was good for them, they’d stay away.

Leah kept on looking at you, she could sense something was wrong, she knew the signs having gone through them herself. One minute y/n was fine, the next sweating, the next she looked pissed, as much as Leah liked to handle things on her own, this was a big thing to deal with and she knew it, so it came as no surprise to her when Sam mind linked to say that a few of the guys were already on their way to your hotel to bring you guys home. She hated to admit that she was relieved. She looked to you again, now you were happily munching on your food, caught up in thought. 

“Hey Y/N, so uh, some of the guys from the Res are in Vancouver, how funny is that.” Leah laughed nervously, looking at your for any reaction. She watched as you screwed your nose up and then blushed. Her friends eyes widened. 

“That’s cool, Vancouver’s a big place though, I don’t think we have to worry about bumping into them. Weird how they ended up in the same place. I wonder if Paul is here…. I haven’t seen him in forever, it’s bound to have been at least 6 months by now.” Leah rolled her eyes and smiled at her best friend. She was still day dreaming over stupid Paul. She didn’t know what she found so fascinating about him. Sometimes you can’t help having a crush. Leah frowned. She knew all about how it could end up. 

“Who knows Y/N, fate is a funny thing, I wouldn’t worry about Paul, he’s normally caught up in his ego to notice other people anyway, if he didn’t notice you now he’s a lost cause, cause girl you look hawt.” Leah grinned and nudged Y/N with her arm, Y/N nudged her back and chuckled. It was almost 11pm by the time you made it back to the hotel lobby, you’d only just stepped in when you heard a noise from behind you. Leah turned around. Standing on the opposite side of the road were the Vampires that she’d seen only a couple of hours earlier. She growled lowly under her breath. Her mind focused on one thing only. Keeping you safe. 

“It’s okay Leah were almost there, just putting our clothes on.” Embry. His voice came through the link. Good, they were almost here. Hopefully when the vamps caught whiff of more shifters they’d leave for good. There’s no way they could shift in the middle of a city without being seen. 

Leah had told Y/N to wait at the bar for her while she “Took a call outside,” which really meant she was just waiting for the guys and making sure the vamps didn’t get through the door. When she turned her head she saw her friend chatting to the the bar man, flirting and sipping on more cocktails. She scoffed and rolled her eyes, god you were amazing. Not a care in the world. She frowned knowing soon enough your life wouldn’t be as simple. Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard growling, the boys had arrived and obviously the Vamps now got the memo because they ran off when they realised there was back up. 

Leah could finally relax, Embry, Quil, Jake and oh god.. Paul.. arrived just in time. Grinning at the she wolf like the idiots they were. 

“Took you long enough.” Leah smirked and elbowed Jake playfully. Paul was about to retort but he stopped and sniffed the air. The rest of the present pack looked confused. Leah turned around and noticed her friend walking towards them all with a shocked expression on her half drunk face. 

Then it all made sense. 

-Paul’s POV- 

God what a mess. Paul was pissed off as per. He’d had to cancel a date he had on his one night off to go and save Leah’s and Y/N’s ass’ in Vancouver. Of all nights. He obviously didn’t hesitate when Sam gave the orders, as much as it pissed him off he knew that if another pack member needed him he’d do everything he could to help, you were family. Not to mention, he as well as everyone else, didn’t need some new pup exposing the tribe secrets. Shifting in public would be good for no one. 

On the way the boys talked through the link, communicating with Leah periodically, making sure the Vamps had stayed well away. 

“So, when was the last time anyone actually saw Y/N?” Jake was the first to start the conversation. When was the last time Paul had seen you? He couldn’t remember, if he had to think about it, probably before her shifted, it had been a while, he knew you’d been studying higher education, and with all of the pack stuff, he didn’t tend to see anyone else other than his wolf brothers and sister. 

“I saw her not long ago, she was in the convenience store picking up groceries for her Pops, and damnnn she’s changed, not a little girl anymore.” Quil joked through the link, wolf whistling. Paul smirked, yeah right, he had always thought you were pretty, but you couldn’t have changed that much, you were still the little, younger dork that had grown up on the res. 

The conversation was cut short as they reached the outline of the trees, Sam had tied a bag of clothes around each of the wolves so when they shifted they could change instead of walking around in the nude. Maybe it would fly in the woods back home, but not in the middle of a city. They made light work of getting to the hotel and scaring the blood suckers away. Pussies. When they met Leah at the entrance. Paul wasn’t really focusing on the banter, he was too distracted by a familiar but heavenly scent. He sniffed trying to place it and then he saw her. 

Walking towards the group was Y/N. Her eyes a little glossy Paul could smell the alcohol, it wasn’t however, strong enough to cover up the heavenly scent he could smell radiating off the pup to be. 

"It's not like love at first sight, really. It's more like… gravity moves… suddenly. It's not the earth holding you here anymore, she does… You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that's a protector, or a lover, or a friend.” 

Jacobs words about imprinting ran in Paul’s head and his world suddenly tilted. The pack paused behind him, the wolves howling in his head through the bond. Leah looked shocked and the other guys just looked stupidly happy. 

Y/N was Paul’s imprint.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

As per usual, please let me know what you thought in the comments below and if you want to be tagged in future let me know xx 

PT2 --------------- click here!

[whimsicallyreading]

An angsty one-shot for your day. I stayed up way too late to write this.

CW- drinking

Aelin keeps the letters stacked neatly on her desk.

Each letter is stamped, addressed, and ready to mail. In tiny marks on the back, she writes the date every individual one was written. The envelopes are his favorite shade of green. A deep, pine color that she’d painstakingly scoured every stationary shop to find.

Delicately, Aelin seals the latest envelope and adds it to the growing pile.

My Love,

It’s almost winter here in Orynth. I know it’s your favorite season and you are probably sad to miss out, so I took a Polaroid of the clouds coming in over the staghorns for you.

Do you remember how we’d sit in front of Mistward every year and watch the first snow storm come in over the peeks? We would drink hot chocolate and talk for hours. About our families, our futures, anything and everything. It’s still one of my favorite traditions.

In fact, it’s where I am right now. Writing this letter to you. Just because you are overseas doesn’t mean you get to bail out. I bought two hot chocolates, but I suppose I’ll have to drink yours for you. What a shame.

Writing to Rowan was her weekly tradition since he got deployed. No matter how busy life got, every Friday she wrote him two full pages front to back. Whether she got to sit at her desk or had to scribble against the rusty bench at the bus stop, every inch was covered in her hand writing.

That was her personal rule. They had to be handwritten. Aelin felt it meant more that every piece of the letter was entirely from her. So she keeps a collection of colored pens handy for whenever the urge to speak to her husband grows to be too much.

At the bottom of the last page, next to her signature, Aelin always kisses the paper with red lipstick. Maybe it’s cheesy, but it’s the same shade she wore at their wedding.

You could see the ghosts of the color along his jawline in their favorite photos together. His beaming smile, the smudges of red on his face and the collar of his white dress shirt. A remnant from the happiest day of her life she thought would bring him comfort.

My love,

Winter is here! It’s so cold outside. You would say it’s this frigid every year, but it just feels different this time. Maybe it’s because you aren’t hear to snuggle up with and your side of the bed is empty? You were always so warm.

I keep your slippers by the couch. They are ridiculously huge on my feet, but I swear they still feel like you just walked in them. Your warmth is still there.

You would laugh if you saw me hobbling around the apartment in them. My toes slide all over the place. Truthfully, your feet are atrociously large, dear- Still they remind me of you, so I love them.

Aelin gets home late from work that night.

Humiliated tears sting her cheeks, even as she rubs them away. The feeling of that creep, Cairn’s, hands lingering on her ass.

She was used to fending off handsy patrons. What bothered Aelin is that when she complained to her boss, Erawan, he publicly berated her for instigating the customers.

None of the other waitresses would meet her eye when she looked for back up. Grave, the bartender, sniggered through the entire dressing down. Aelin could still feel their eyes on her skin as Erawan accused her of being provocative.

Rowan would have demanded she quit the job. He would have marched down to the bar and broken Cairn’s face. Possibly even held him back so Aelin could do it herself.

Aelin needs the money, though. Rowan’s accounts were frozen due to some stupid technicality at the bank. Without her paycheck, she would lose the apartment.

Sniffling, Aelin slides her feet into Rowan’s slippers and plops at her desk. It isn’t Friday yet, but she’s desperate to speak to him.

As her hand flows across the paper, Aelin knows she won’t describe the days events to him. He’s under enough stress without her work drama adding to his worries.

My love,

Yulemas is next week. Aedion is in Caraverre with Lysandra and our new nephew. Lorcan and Elide are going up from Perranth to stay with them, but the roads are so frozen in Orynth I may just stay here this year.

Besides, work is busy right now. They need someone to man the place for the people with nowhere to go for the holidays.

Maybe I’ll host a little celebration at the bar. Like we did that one year when we got stuck in the Hostel in Rifthold. We made the best of a bad situation, and it was the first time you told me you loved me. I think I’d like to relive a little of that this year.

I miss you. Please come home.

Aelin lays in her bed the night before Yulemas and sobs.

Ugly, guttural noises spill from her chest and she soaks their pillows with tears. The newest envelope is clutched against her chest, and the building stacks mock her from their spot across the room.

Her heart is so raw. Aelin knew it was a bad idea to count the letters, but there was so many. Curiosity got the better of her, and now she was bleeding for her mistake.

Fifty-six.

A full year of letters she hadn’t been able to send.

Rowan had only ever written her twenty before he was declared missing in action.

A year ago, she’d been hanging bobbles and decorating a tree knowing her husband only had a few weeks left of his tour.

Aelin had painted a welcome home banner, and her whole family made plans to come and spend the holiday with the soon-to-be-reunited couple.

She had his slippers waiting by the door. Rowan’s favorite blanket was laundered and folded on his side of the bed in case he wanted to lay down. Aelin had it on good authority that the bed would be one of the first places they visited when he arrived. Emerys had even given her a mixture of their favorite hot chocolate to make.

Everything was perfectly in place for his return.

That’s what when the soldiers arrived at her door and her world fell apart.

Lorcan came home a week later. He hugged Elide and she cried into his shoulder. Happy tears. So unlike the ones Aelin had been shedding. Her friend beamed ear-to-ear, as the love of her life gathered her into his arms and squeezed.

It was a touching sight, but Aelin could feel the hot knife being twisted in her chest. Elide’s happiness caused her physical pain, and it made her feel so selfish. She didn’t begrudge Lorcan his life, or Elide her joy- Aelin just missed her own husband.

Elide and Lorcan spent Yulemas together. Kissing and holding hands. Lysandra finally announced her pregnancy. Aedion’s expression when he opened the box with the baby onesie inside was priceless. Her cousin whooped and hollered, almost dancing with the prospect of becoming a father.

Aelin smiled. She gave her congratulations and celebrated with her family. They hugged, and laughed. Aedion took care to include her in everything, and she played her part even as she tried to ignore the concerned looks her family exchanged behind her back.

Aelin made it to lunch before she couldn’t take it anymore.

Fenrys was the one to find her having a panic attack on the bathroom floor. She hadn’t even known it was a panic attack. Aelin just assumed the pain of losing her soulmate was finally killing her. The tightening of her chest and the body aches felt enough like a heart attack to be convincing.

He gathered Aelin in his arms and counted breaths with her. His twin brother Connal was lost in the same fight where Rowan had gone down. Fen had seen the whole thing from the cockpit of his plain, and nothing he did could’ve saved them.

He shared his pain, and for the first time Aelin felt like someone understood her.

Fenrys let her lean on him as they excused themselves from the celebrations. They drove to some bar in Caraverre and spent the rest of the day wallowing over whiskey.

Aedion came to collect their drunken asses later that evening. Worry etched into every line of his kind face. It only made her feel ashamed that she’d rained all over their happy day.

He was going to be a father, and she’d forced him to spend his time fretting over her instead of reveling in that news.

Now here she was a year later. Aelin wasn’t going to subject herself to that again. Couldn’t. She wouldn’t force her grief upon anyone else this year, either. Just because she was hurting didn’t mean that everyone else had to suffer with her.

So, as Yulemas Eve came, and before she could finally distract herself with work, Aelin pulled Rowan’s blanket over herself. She’d spritzed it with his cologne, donned his shirt, and pulled his socks over her feet. Aelin did everything she could to feel surrounded by him.

Then, alone in their bed, she watched as the clock ticked down to midnight.

Rowan,

Wherever you are, I hope my words reach you and that you know you aren’t alone. I wish with every ounce of my being that I could trade places with you- would give anything, just to know where you are.

It breaks my heart, to be without you. Every breath seems pointless. I lied in my last letter. The roads aren’t frozen. I’m not needed at work. No one really needs me to be around them. I just couldn’t spend another holiday surrounded by happy people when the other half of my heart is gone from me.

When you come home, I will feel like celebrating again. I’ll wrap my arms around you, and we can make up for lost time. Just please, don’t make me wait too much longer.

Merry Yulemas, my love. We will be together again one day.

Until then, I’ll keep on writing, only so long as you don’t yield.

Sincerely, your loving wife

Aelin

[miceenscene]

'tis the damn season

frankie/reader | childhood friends to lovers | pre-canon

wc: 1.8k/2.5k

summary: At one point in your lives, you knew Frankie better than anyone else on earth. When did that change?

warnings: none

an: don't let anyone tell you that second person doesn't work from another character's perspective, least of all yourself while editing

Masterpost | ao3

Chapter 2: Who am I Related to?

December 8, 2012 18:57

Hudson’s was a shitty bar just up highway 210 outside of Fort Bragg, the nearest watering hole to the base as the crow flies.

As a result, it served pretty damn near exclusively military personnel. When it changed ownership about four years back, the new management decided to reflect that and so the place looked like the Fourth of July and Top Gun had thrown up on it. Never mind that Fort Bragg was an Army base. Still, they had cheap booze and greasy food that was far better than the commissary, so it was always busy.

Pope had texted the usual suspects a few hours ago that he was heading to Hudson’s that evening, making Frankie immediately ditch his plans of drinking alone for drinking with Pope and whoever else showed up. Most likely just Benny and Ironhead now that Redfly had semi-retired down to Florida. It was a short drive to the bar from the dorms on base, but it was enough to make Frankie groan and press hands to his lower back as he got out of his car and made his way inside.

Pope was sitting at the bar and didn’t look up from texting on his phone as Frankie gingerly eased into the stool next to him.

“Hey, Fish,” Pope said, rereading the email.

“Hey.” At the bartender’s attention, Frankie pointed to Pope’s beer before daring a slight back stretch.

Pope sent his email and then looked over. “You alright?”

“Yeah, just finished PT.”

He chuckled once. “Back still fucked?”

“More tired than fucked anymore,” Frankie managed, shaking his head and wincing. The bartender delivered his beer, and Frankie took a swig. “When did we get old?”

“¿De qué estás hablando ‘nosotros’, viejo?”

Frankie jabbed an elbow and grinned slightly down at his next swig. “Culero.”

“Hey, before everyone gets here–” Pope looked at him, an oddly serious expression on his face for their usual bar. “I found out today you haven’t re-enlisted yet.”

Frankie immediately dropped his gaze to the suddenly very interesting glass in his hand. “Ah, no. No, I haven’t.”

“I’m trying to pull strings to get Benny into our unit full-time. I think he’d fit well with the team. Then Simmons tells me you haven’t signed your new papers yet. So what’s up?”

Frankie glanced over to see Pope still focused on him. “Nothing, nothing. I… I’m still thinking about it.”

He chuckled. “What’s there to think about?”

“We all want out someday, right? If we’re lucky enough to choose when we leave.”

“Yeah, but there’s thinking and thinking.” Pope smacked his shoulder. “What – are you gonna become a real estate agent like Redfly?”

No. Definitely not. Even just the idea of shilling condos was enough to make Frankie’s eyes glaze over. But still–

“Real estate agents make more money than we do.”

Pope made a considering face for a moment then brushed it off. “Yeah, but you’d miss it. You’re like me. We like the rush.”

Frankie nodded slightly. This is why he was still just thinking about it. It wasn’t a small thing to walk away from fourteen years with the Army. Especially since everyone knew the retirement benefits were absolute shit until you hit twenty. But he could already tell, he didn’t have another six years in him. He wasn’t even sure he had another deployment.

“You know the deadline’s New Year’s, right?” Pope said, cutting through his thoughts.

“Yeah, I know. I have some leave I have to take before the year’s out anyway.”

Pope nodded. “Good. Clear your head, get some perspective. See how fucking boring civvy life is, and then come back Jan 2 and join my team.”

Frankie smiled wryly; Pope always could make anything sound easy. “Something like that.”

“You have holiday plans then?” he asked, leaning an elbow on the bar.

Frankie sucked in breath. “I guess I’ll go back to my parents’. My mom’s been wanting me to visit for a while now.”

“How long’s it been?”

“I saw them in DC last summer, but I haven’t been back home… since I joined Delta.”

“Remind me where they’re at.”

“Up north. Little town in the middle of nowhere. Still in the same house I grew up in.” He could picture the wreath on the door, the twinkling lights his dad always strung across the front fence every December. A matching set used to be hung on the fence exactly opposite across the street. Who lived there now, he wondered. Would they put the tree in the front window too?

“Soldier coming home for Christmas. Sounds like a Hallmark movie.”

“Fuck you,” Frankie replied as the others finally arrived.

--

Frankie got his answer as he ducked out the front door of his parent’s house about a week later. His breath immediately fogged as he sucked in a few calming breaths of night air, the pressure in his head slowly levelling. Out in the still darkness, the noise level coming from the living room was finally manageable. Inside, with all of his cousins and his aunts and uncles and the music and everyone talking over each other and the heater set far too high for the number of people inside– he… he just needed a break.

Seven hours was a decent stint for his first day. He’d be around longer tomorrow. Wading in. That was the key. Because he was now the kind of person that had to treat time with his family like running a marathon. Apparently.

He walked down to the twinkling front fence, making a mental note to shovel the front walk tomorrow, and stopped. The house across the street – your house, as it would forever be in his mind – was completely dark. A small sign posted in the front yard announced some sort of home refurbishment company was going to be arriving soon. No doubt they would come in, strip away wallpaper and old tile and heart to paint it all beige and granite for the quick resell.

He hadn’t had the heart to ask his mother yet how long the house hadn’t belonged to your family. No need for another reminder of how much time had passed, how much he’d missed. He had more than enough already.

The front door opened behind him, casting a temporary warm glow across the dark snow, and his dad stepped out, pipe in hand. He meandered down the front steps to join Frankie at the gate, puffing a few times before speaking.

He shook his head. “It’d break his heart to see it so empty, but I understand why she sold,” he said, looking at the forlorn house with him.

“How long ago?” Frankie asked.

“Few months. Not too long after the funeral.” Dad looked his way for a moment. “I’ll give it ten minutes before I tell your mother you left.”

“I… thanks,” he replied weakly.

“Will you be back tomorrow?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll be back.”

Dad nodded slowly, leaving just the pipe smoke wafting between them for a minute. “Take it slow, no need to rush.”

“Thanks.” He stepped through the gate, fishing in his pocket for his car keys.

“Francisco,” he said, making Frankie stop and look at him. “We’re glad you’re back.”

Frankie just nodded and went to his car. Even though he couldn’t bear another minute in the noisy press of his loved ones, the idea of going back to his lonely hotel room was truly abysmal. So after some finagling with the ignition, he started the engine and headed to the one bar he’d ever been to in his hometown.

--

There were Christmas lights in the window and a dancing Santa on the bar as Frankie walked in. Some sort of forcibly cheery holiday classic played over the speakers tucked between quirky memorabilia that hung over every square inch of wall space. And even though public smoking had been outlawed by the state well over a decade ago, cigarette stench had sunk into the very foundation of the place.

It was nothing like Frankie remembered. But it would do.

Eyes automatically sweeping across the moderately busy room for a Thursday night, he headed for a stool at the far end of the bar, ordering a beer when the bartender came by. It was just one step up from swill, but comfortably numbing in its mediocrity. He looked across the room again, checking for familiar faces this time and finding none. No surprise there. A decade was a long time, and really he hadn’t been around too much for the years before that too.

There were couples on dates here, friend groups, some sort of girls’ night happening in the corner, a few loners like him hovering at the bar. Most everyone was smiling, talking, laughing so hard their whole bodies shook. A whole world of Normal. And Frankie was a tourist.

Pope was right. He couldn’t go back to this. He couldn’t make it through one whole day with blood relatives anymore. What was he thinking? That he could just settle into a normal life like the last decade of his work was nothing? Get a 9-to-5 and a mortgage and a girl – not that he’d ever had too much luck in that department. Especially when there was one girl that eclipsed all others, and he didn’t even know her phone number any more.

The door opened, making the Santa on the bar dance, and every thought in Frankie’s head immediately stopped. His eyes drew wide as he stared, jaw barely restrained from slapping against his chest. Was it really – course it was, there wasn’t anyone else it could be. A whole century could pass, and he’d still know that face.

It was you.

Live, in the flesh you. Cheeks pinked from the wind, haloed by the street lights outside, wrapped in a truly astonishing number of woolen layers. Not a half-remembered fantasy, but Real and breathing and even more beautiful than his memory had claimed.

He watched you shake a few flurries out of your hair and stomp the excess snow off your boots, shutting the door behind you as you waved to the bartender. Your gaze swung across the bar, completely skimming past him, and landed on the girls’ night in the corner. You smiled. He stared.

You began to head over to the people you were obviously here to meet. On nothing but pure instinct, he immediately got out of his stool and followed you. Falling into step behind you, he stretched a hand forward to hook a few fingers inside your elbow.

You looked back at him, and for a heart-breaking breath there was no recognition in your eyes.

Till he gave you a half-smile and said, “Hey Bo.”

You blinked, mouth dropping open. “Frankie?” you asked.

He nodded.

Your astonishment ballooned so wide it froze your whole face solid for a moment. Then you laughed, out of far more shock than amusement, and gave him a smile all his own. “Oh my god!! You’re here!”

You immediately wrapped him in a hug. And though it took him a moment to return it, for the first time in ten whole years, he was home.

Chapter 3: Not my Homeland Anymore

taglist: @kelenloth ; @darnitdraco ; @gracie7209 ; @616wilsons ; @icanbeyourjedi ; @astroboots ;

[fuckallthegood0nesweretaken]

Runs in the Family CH. One

Book: Chamber

Title: I’m a What?

Words: 2310

Warnings: None

A/N: This is the first chapter of my newest series. It is an eventual pairing of George x Reader with some unknown feelings and pining from both of them. Reader is Dudley’s little sister and a witch. Some things will stay the same while others will be changed. Enjoy!

Next Chapter

RitF Masterlist

Harry Potter Masterlist 

Masterlist

~~~~~~~

You were not excited for the night. Your dad was having guests over so you had to spend the evening in a stuffy, itchy dress, be on your best behavior, and you couldn’t even talk to Harry. Sighing, you smoothed the skirt and walked downstairs.

 “Mummy, do I have to wear this? It’s so itchy,” you said.

 “Yes, darling. Only the best for our guests. Now come and help me with our dessert.”

 “Alright.”

 You helped her finish up with the cake while your dad helped Dudley put on his tie. Upstairs, Hedwig was making noise and your dad called out to Harry angrily.

 “If you can’t control that bloody bird, it’ll have to go,” Vernon said.

 “She’s just bored, daddy,” you said from the kitchen.

 “[Y/n]’s right. If I could let her out for an hour or two, she’ll be fine.”

 “Not a chance. I don’t need you sending any messages to your freaky friends.”

 “I haven’t had any messages,” Harry said sadly. You frowned and was about to say something when your brother pushed past Harry.

 “Who would want to be friends with you?” Dudley said.

 “That’s not nice, Dudley.” You were a little angry at your brother for treating Harry this way. Dudley just ignored you and you rolled your eyes at the way he tried to eat the cake before the guests came.

 “Now, when the Masons arrive, where will you be, Petunia?” Vernon said.

 “In the lounge, waiting to welcome them into our home.”

 “[Y/n], where will you be?”

 “I’ll be with mummy in the lounge,” you said.

 “Good. Dudley?”

 “I’ll be waiting to open the door,” Dudley said with a flourish of his arm. That’s when the three of them turned to Harry.

 “And you?” Vernon said, voice full of hate.

 “I’ll be in my bedroom, making no noise, and pretending that I don’t exist,” Harry said.

 “That’s right. This could be the day I make the biggest deal of my career and you will not mess it up.”

 Right then, the doorbell rang and Dudley rushed to the door.

 “I mean it, boy. Quiet!” Vernon then walked to join Dudley and you mouthed ‘sorry’ to Harry as he walked upstairs.

 The night went by slowly. Your dad kept making awful jokes and the Masons were eating it up. Sipping on your sparkling juice, you looked worriedly up at the ceiling when strange noises were coming out of Harry’s room. Vernon went up there once to shut him up but when you saw him chasing after the cake, your eyes widened.

 It took every bit of you not to laugh when the cake landed on Mrs. Mason. Everyone’s attention was on her but you saw Harry looking at something. You glanced down and saw a creature disappear before your eyes. The Masons left shortly after and your parents were furious at Harry for dropping the cake on Mrs. Masons head.

 ---

 The next day, Vernon installed a bunch of locks on the outside of Harry’s door and bars on the windows. You tried to stop him, even though you knew that nothing would. Watching, you shook your head before walking inside.

 That very night, you were woken up by a crash. You leapt out of bed and opened your door right as Vernon got to Harry’s door. It took him a minute to open all the locks and when he burst into Harry’s room, he grabbed Harry by the ankle.

 “Daddy, let go of him!” You said. You went to run into the room but Petunia stopped you.

 One of the boys taking Harry away yelled at the other to drive and that caused Vernon to fall out of the house. You and Dudley both yelled as he fell, worried that he was hurt. When you saw he wasn’t, you looked at Harry.

 You waved discreetly as they flew away. After they disappeared and it was confirmed that Vernon was alright, everyone went back to bed.

 ---

 A few days later, as you were eating breakfast, you heard three sharp knocks on the front door. Confused as to who was visiting, Vernon went to open the door.

 “Is this the residence of [y/n] Dursley?” A voice said.

 “Who’s asking?” Vernon said.

 “My name is Minerva McGonagall. I’m one of the professors at Hogwarts and I’m here to speak to Miss Dursley.”

 “What for?” Petunia asked. You could hear the shakiness in her voice and it worried you.

 “Mummy? Daddy? What’s going on?” You got up from the table and walked over to the door.

 “[Y/n], darling, go back to your food,” Petunia said.

 “Miss Dursley. I’m here to announce that you are a witch.” You looked at the woman with wide eyes and an open mouth.

 “No way. You’re kidding.”

 “I’m not. Your books and supplies are already bought and packed and in your trunk in your room. If you could come with me, I’ll take you to Ollivanders where we’ll get you your wand.”

 “No. Not a chance. You’re not taking my daughter anywhere!” Vernon said.

 “She has to go to Ollivanders and to Hogwarts. It’s imperative that she does,” McGonagall said.

 “Why?”

 “If Miss Dursley doesn’t get proper training on how to use her magic, bad things can happen. They won’t happen if she gets proper training.”

 You saw your dad start to argue, but you cut him off.

 “Daddy, I want to go. It’s my choice and you can’t stop me,” you said.

 “Alright,” Petunia said after a moment. Vernon opened his mouth but after a look from Petunia, he closed it. “I don’t like it either, but there’s nothing we can do. Take her.”

  “I’ll be outside,” McGonagall said. She tilted her head to your parents before walking away.

 You went to say something to your mom, but she avoided your gaze and said nothing. Your dad was fuming about the whole ordeal and Dudley just went back to shoveling food into his mouth. With a frown, you walked outside.

 ---

 After you had gotten your wand, you went back to your house. You were wanting to try out some spells from your textbooks, but you knew that if you did anything inside the house, your parents would have a cow. So you refrained from casting spells, but you did read through the entirety of most of your books.

 A few weeks later, Professor McGonagall came back.

 “It’s time for me to bring you to the school,” she said.

 “We arrive by train, right?” You asked her.

 “Yes. Are you all packed?” You nodded and ran upstairs to grab your trunk

 “I’ll visit when I can, okay? I love you,” you said, turning to your family. When Vernon said nothing, you felt tears start to form.

 “I love you, dear,” Petunia said as she gave you a hug. “We’ll see you for Christmas?”

 “Of course, mummy. Bye.” You waved to your family and took McGonagall’s outstretched hand and everything went black.

 ---

 When you came to, your head was pounding and you found yourself in the middle of King’s Cross.

 “Run between those two platforms and you’ll go to platform 9 ¾. The train leaves at precisely eleven. I’ll see you at the Sorting, Miss Dursley.”

 She disappeared with a sharp crack and you took a shaky breath before running through the wall. When you realized you had done it, you let out a laugh and walked to the train.

 Lugging your trunk onto the train, you found an empty compartment and sat down. You figured you had some time to kill seeing as it was only half past ten so you took out your textbooks and started to read. It was only when the train was about to pull away did someone else come into the compartment with you.

 “Mind if we sit here? Everywhere else is full,” someone said.

 “Of course.” You looked up and were face to face with two of the boys that helped Harry escape.

 “It’s you!” You said. “You were in the flying car that took Harry a couple nights ago.”

 “You’re his cousin, aren’t you?” One of them said.

 “I am. My name’s [y/n] Dursley.”

 “Fred Weasley.”

 “George Weasley.”

 “It’s nice to meet you,” you said, a smile on your face.

 ---

 “Harry didn’t tell us that you were a witch,” Fred said.

 “I didn’t even know until a couple weeks ago, actually. It came as a surprise and my parents didn’t like it.”

 “What all do you know about Hogwarts?” Fred asked.

 “I know that you’re separated into Houses. Harry is in Gryffindor, I believe. You also have a lot of classes and a game called Quidditch.”

 “You know about Quidditch?” Both the twins said.

 “I do. It seems fascinating and I’d love to play it. I’ve always wanted to be able to fly.”

 “What House do you think you’ll be? Freddie and I are in Gryffindor.”

 “I couldn’t tell you. To be honest, I haven’t given it much thought. There are five, right?”

 “Four. Gryffindor, Hufflepuff.”

 “Ravenclaw and Slytherin.”

 “You don’t want to be in Slytherin,” Fred said.

 “Why not?”

 “That’s the House that has made the most dark wizards,” George said.

 “You-Know-Who himself was a Slytherin along with all of his followers.”

 “Loads of bad people.”

 You stared at them for a minute before shivering.

 “Let’s hope I don’t get into Slytherin,” you said with a laugh.

 The rest of the ride was spent laughing and eating sweets. Lee Jordan, one of the twins’ friends, came into the compartment halfway through the ride. Once he found out that you hadn’t had any magical sweets before, he bought nearly the entire trolley for you to try. You didn’t want the train to stop but it did an hour later.

 Looking at the castle, awe in your eyes, you turned to the twins.

 “You’ll be fine,” George said.

 “Ginny, our sister, is starting Hogwarts this year too.”

 George called Ginny over and introduced you to her before he left with Fred and Lee.

 “Hello. It’s nice to meet you,” you said.

 “Likewise.”

 The two of you made small talk the entire way across the lake and up into the castle until you saw Professor McGonagall. She was standing at the top of the stairs, holding a giant scroll of paper.

 “In just a few minutes, we will walk into the Great Hall. When I call your name, you will walk forward and place the Sorting Hat on your head. It will tell you what House you belong in and you will go sit with that House.” The doors opened behind McGonagall. “Come on. Follow me.”

 You followed her, gripping your robes tightly. McGonagall was a few names in when she called yours. Swallowing harshly, you walked up as sat on the stool. The Sorting Hat was placed on your head and you took a shaky breath.

 “Where to put you,” the hat said. “You have a lot of ambition, but even more kindness. Patience too. I think I’ll put you in Hufflepuff!”

 The last word was shouted and you let out a laugh before getting off of the stool and walking over to the Hufflepuff table. The sorting was over soon and then the feast began. Your eyes widened as the food appeared right in front of you and on your plate.

 “It’s amazing, isn’t it?”

 “It is.” You looked to your left and saw a hand being held out to you.

 “I’m Cedric Diggory,” he said.

 “[Y/n] Dursley. Nice to meet you.” You shook his hand and he gave you a smile.

 “Nice to meet you too.”

 ---

 The next morning, you were led down to the Great Hall by your new friend Cedric. You saw Harry and after asking Cedric if it was allowed to sit at another Houses table, you ran over to him.

 “Harry!”

 “[Y/n]? What are you doing here?” Harry asked as he gave you a hug.

 “Well, a couple days after you left, Professor McGonagall came by the house and said that I was a witch. Mummy convinced dad to let me go and here I am! You weren’t on the train or at dinner. Where were you?”

 “I couldn’t get onto the platform. Ron couldn’t either. And before that, it wasn’t me who threw the cake onto Mrs. Masons head. It was a house-elf.”

 “A house-elf? I knew I saw something!”

 “Yeah. So Ron had the idea to take the car and fly to Hogwarts. We flew into a tree, it fought back, and now the car is somewhere in the forest. We were almost expelled but we just got detention and a letter back home,” Harry said.

 ��Well I’m glad that you’re not expelled.” You were going to say more when the twins walked up to you and put their arms around your shoulders.

 “[Y/n].”

 “You made it in Hufflepuff, I see,” Fred said.

 “Shame it wasn’t Gryffindor,” George teased.

 “I’m just glad it wasn’t Slytherin,” you said with a laugh.

 “You know the twins already?” Harry asked.

 “I do. They sat with me on the train.”

 “Come on, let’s eat.”

 The twins led you to the table and you sat between them. Ron and Hermione came up a minute later. You began to eat while Ron was taping his wand together. That’s when Ron got an owl.

 “Look, everyone. Weasley’s got himself a Howler.”

 “Howler?” You asked.

 “Just wait,” George said.

 “It’s gonna get loud.”

 And loud it was. The letter started screaming at Ron, saying that he was in so much trouble. After it was done, it blew a raspberry at him and tore itself up.

 “Well, you weren’t lying about it being loud,” you said after a few seconds.

 “At least we won’t have to worry about getting one of those from home,” Harry said. You laughed and shook your head.

[ebdaydreamer]

New Chapter

Written for @mashikkara for the @b99fandomevents summer fic exchange, inspired by the prompts ‘ 'Moving Houses' and 'Santiago getting a promotion'. I hope you like it!

Summary: Everything in Amy's life is going great: new house, new baby on the way and a promotion that takes her one step closer to her dream of Captain. She's happy - of course, she is - her life is going exactly how she planned. Except there's just one small catch...

[AO3]

“C’mon, Ames, this one is it, I can feel it!” Jake insisted, gently pulling his wife along.

Amy couldn’t help but giggle at his enthusiasm. “Babe, you’ve said that about the last three houses.”

“And? Were they really so bad?” Jake asked, “Or did they just not meet up to your impossible standards?”

“The first one was in a sketchy neighbourhood, the second one had a weird smell and the third one was a health hazard!” she insisted.

Jake rolled his eyes, “Squeaky stairs and a couple of broken cabinets are not health hazards, babe.”

Amy bit her lip as they reached the door of the fourth house, “It’s just… with another one on the way, and Mac still being so young I don’t want to have to spend months working on a house.”

Before Jake could reassure her, the estate agent opened the door. “Hi, you must be Jake and Amy. I’m Linda, c’mon in.”

They stepped inside to a spacious living area, complete with a fireplace and huge sliding glass doors that let them peer into the garden.

Linda began her tour, “So, as you know, this place has 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, one of which is just here-” she pointed at a door on the left, “and through here is the kitchen.” She led them through a large archway to the right, revealing what had to be a brand new kitchen in blue and white with an island that could seat 4 around it.

“Now obviously there’s not enough room in here for a dining area, but there’s enough space in the living area that you could find room in there if you need it.” She turned to face them with a smile, “How many of you will it be?”

“Four, in a few months,” said Amy, unable to stop herself from holding her bump and smiling. They’d hoped that they’d be moved into a house in time to have the sex reveal party there, but they were running out of time.

Linda’s smile brightened, “Congratulations! So you already have one? How old are they?”

“He’ll be five next month,” Jake answered. “He’s really excited.”

“Well you should know, the schools around here are excellent,” Linda assured them, “and there’s been quite an uptake of young families moving to this neighbourhood, so there are plenty of other kids to have playdates with.”

Amy’s grip on Jake’s arm tightened: that was exactly what they had wanted. Mac had tons of friends at school already, but most of them didn’t live close by. In fact, one of his closest friends - Jamie - had moved just a few streets over to this house a couple of months ago.

“Shall we explore upstairs next,” Linda asked, “or would you like to see the garden?”

*

Their tour ended in the smallest bedroom, and Linda left to give them a moment.

“Ames,” Jake called, pulling her attention away from the window, “I know there are other houses on your list but this-”

“Me too,” she smiled. “I can see this being our home, where we raise our family. And Mac will make so many new friends, and he can play in the garden, and we can get him that swingset he’s always wanted.”

“Yeah! And we can get a sandpit and some chairs and we can have barbecues with everyone from the Nine-Nine…” Jake trailed off as Amy’s face drop as she was reminded. “And, the Nine-Three once you become their favourite Lieutenant ever.”

Amy had received her results of the Lieutenants exam two weeks ago now, but she hadn’t told anyone but Jake and Holt. There wasn’t a Lieutenant position available at the Nine-Nine, so Holt had helped her look into other precincts, sending a glowing recommendation over with her application, and she had quickly been accepted at the Nine-Three. Luckily, her new Captain (whoever they were, Holt had been very tight-lipped on the Nine-Three, assuring her it would be a great fit and asking her to trust him) had been very understanding about her pregnancy and the transfer wouldn’t be until she returned from maternity leave, so she still had a few months left with the Nine-Nine.

A few months left to tell the squad she was leaving.

Linda returned, peeping around the door. “So, how are we feeling?”

Jake and Amy didn’t even need to look at each other.

“We want to place an offer.”

*

“Charles, please don’t cry,” Jake begged.

Charles just sobbed louder. “How can I not! My best friend is moving away!”

“Charles, it’s not that far. You can still come visit us anytime.”

His best friend turned to him, face red and blotchy, “You mean it?”

“Of course, buddy!” Jake placed his hand on Charles’ shoulder. “Mac loves hanging out with his Uncle Charles and his cousin Nikolaj.”

“Nikolaj.”

“What about Auntie RoRo?” Rosa piqued up.

Amy answered her, “Of course, Rosa. Come round whenever.” Amy gestured around the briefing room, “All of you are welcome anytime.” She was sure Jake would be the only one to notice the tightness in her smile. He knew how eager she was to have the squad over, for them to feel at home to make up for not seeing them at work.

“And, you’re all welcome to our house-warming party,” Jake declared. “And our house-moving-in party, especially you, Terry. When are your next days off?”

Holt interrupted, “If that’s all, may I start the briefing, considering we are currently in the briefing room?”

“Actually, Captain, we do have one more announcement.” Amy could feel Jake shaking with anticipation, knowing he was revelling in Holt’s somewhat tired expression, but they knew he was used to the squad eating up briefing room time. Besides, their next announcement should cheer the robot up. “Now I know you’re all wondering, why the move?” 

“We are not,” said Rosa.

Jake ignored her, “You’re all on the edge of your seats! Amy, would you like to tell them why we’re moving?”

Amy grinned, “I’m pregnant.”

With an ear-splitting shriek, Charles fainted.

“Yes!” Jake cheered, high-fiving Amy, “We got him first time!”

*

This pregnancy was not going as smoothly as the first. Her doctors were worried because Mac was early, and she was a bit older, which meant increased risk. Amy was already on desk duty and couldn’t lift anything too heavy, soon enough she’d be on bed rest.

Her last couple of months at the Nine-Nine being spent like this: it saddened her a bit.

“Hey Sarge,” Rosa greeted, sitting across from Amy at her desk. “Or is it Lieutenant yet?”

Amy fought back any reaction. “Nope, still just Sarge.” She still hadn’t worked up the courage to tell the squad about her transfer. She needed to do it before she went on maternity leave, she needed to do it soon.

This weekend, at the house-warming party/sex reveal. Most of the renovations and decorations were done, the baby’s room was all that was left and they were waiting on Terry’s next day off so he could paint a mural.

“Did you need something?” Amy asked.

Rosa slapped a file down on her desk, “I’ve been staring at this for two hours and my brain is mush. I need a second pair of eyes.”

“Thank you,” Amy grabbed the file, “I’m bored out of my mind.”

Amy spent the rest of the day consulting Rosa on her case. Helping others out had been the only thing keeping her sane during desk duty, and Amy suspected Rosa had noticed, as she had been regularly slapping case files down on her desk claiming she needed a ‘fresh pair of eyes’, or ‘her specific expertise’.

Gripping the file, Amy felt her throat tighten. As much as she loved working with the whole squad, she’d probably miss cases with Rosa the most. Sure, she’d miss working with Jake, and they always did work really well together, but there was something about working cases with her best friend that made her day just a little brighter.

Amy almost told her about the transfer then and there but stopped herself. This weekend. She wanted to tell everyone at once, so she was committing to the party this weekend.

*

The weekend finally arrived and Amy’s stomach was in knots, but she refused to back down. She was a Santiago, goddamnit: when they made plans they stuck to them.

Guests were milling around the house, most of them being led by Mac who was giving them a tour, which seemed to linger for a very long time in his bedroom. His grandparents in particular - all three sets: Santiago, Peralta and Cozner-Holt - were made to sit through a long presentation about his toys.

It was fitting in a way: their first sex reveal party was ruined by the cake being destroyed and this one would be ruined by her announcing she was leaving all her friends.

“Ames,” Jakes grabbed her hands and Amy startled. She hadn’t noticed him approach. “Breathe, you’re freaking out.”

Amy inhaled deeply. “They’ll all be so upset, it’ll ruin the party!”

“Or, they could be super happy for you?” Jake wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “They’ve been even more anxious than you were waiting to hear about your Lieutenant exams results.”

“Mija,” a soft voice called out to her. Her mom, she hadn’t noticed her come over either. She really needed to calm down. “Are you alright? You look upset.”

“Just nerves, Camila,” Jake assured her. “Y’know, pregnancy and hormones. She’s just been a little anxious recently.”

Her mom cooed and Jake stood aside so she could embrace her. She began stroking her hair and Amy slowly felt herself calm down.

“Tell you what, why don’t we cut the cake now?” Jake suggested.

Amy nodded, staying in her mother’s arms as Jake left for the kitchen.

He came back carrying the beautiful white cake (that had not been baked by Peraltas this time) and placed it on the dining table.

“Everyone, if I could have your atten-”

Jake was cut off by the lights going out.

Amy groaned, “Please don’t tell me there’s been a power cut. Nothing good ever happens when I’m pregnant in a power cut.”

Lights suddenly returned to the room, but they were not the ones that had just gone out. Instead, the room was lit up with blue and pink laser lights.

Mac’s face lit up and he started pointing to the back door. “Auntie Gi!”

Everyone turned, to see the one and only Gina Linetti in the door frame. “Correct, Mac! Auntie Gina is here and the party can begin!”

The crowd started clapping: another classic Gina Linetti entrance.

“Gina!” Jake rushed to hug her. “I thought you couldn’t make it!”

She giggled, “Last minute change of plans, Jacob.”

“We’re glad you’re here, Gina,” Amy grinned, her mood thoroughly lifted. “But can we have the normal lights back, please?”

Gina rolled her eyes but clicked a button on a little remote in her hand, and the laser lights disappeared. “Thank you for being my prop man, Charles.”

“My pleasure,” Charles beamed, switching the lights back on, clearly very proud of himself. “But the suspense is killing me, can we cut the cake now?”

Laughter rippled across the room as everyone crowded around the table.

“Ok,” said Amy, grabbing the knife, the excitement beginning to bubble. “We are having a-”

She lifted up the slice of cake: pink.

“GIRL!”

“IT’S A GIRL!”

“Congratulations!”

“One of each!”

Charles burst into tears.

Once everyone had calmed down (well, Charles wasn’t exactly calm, per se, but he was calm enough) and had a slice of cake, Amy knew. It was time to rip off the band-aid.

“If I could have your attention, once again?”

The chatter quieted down, as people turned their gaze to Amy, who had stood up from her very comfy chair.

Band-aid: off.“I got my results from the Lieutenant’s exam. I’m gonna be a Lieutenant.”

Whoops and cheers rippled throughout the room. Her father raced over to embrace her, whispering in her ear, “I’m so proud of you.” Amy felt tears swell in her eyes at his words but fought them back. Not yet.

“But,” she had to shout, regaining everyone’s attention, “unfortunately, there isn’t a position open in the Nine-Nine, so I’m transferring to the Nine-Three.”

And everyone’s faces dropped.

The silence seemed to drag on forever, until Terry spoke up. “Congratulations, Amy. You’re gonna be a great Lieutenant and they’re gonna love you there.”

Some people perked up, congratulating her, but the squad was still clearly tense.

“When do you transfer?” Charles asked, his voice still hoarse from crying.

Amy tried to smile, “Not until after my maternity leave.”

“So you’ll be on desk duty, go on maternity leave and then that’s it?” Rosa snapped.

Her smile dropped, “Well, yeah, but I mean, we’ll still see each other all the time. You guys all have keys for the house.”

“I don’t,” Scully piped up for the first time.

“Me either,” echoed Hitchcock.

“Uhhhhhh,” said Jake and Amy in sync, staring at them for a moment, before ignoring them and turning back to Rosa.

“But none of us will ever work on a case with you again,” Rosa frowned. “How long have you known?”

“Rosa-” Amy began.

“How. Long. Have. You. Known?”

Amy began to stutter, which seemed to be answer enough for Rosa, who stormed off upstairs.

*

Whilst the mood of the party still wasn’t great, it had improved significantly as people chatted and danced to the music. Rosa still hadn’t come down.

Amy was sitting on the sofa, one of Mac’s juice boxes in hand, feeling guilty when a ‘thud’ alerted her to a presence next to her.

“She’ll get over it,” Gina told her. “Once she realises she’s sad, not angry and also super duper proud of you.”

Amy sighed, “I just feel so bad-”

“Don’t,” Gina cut her off. “Don’t feel bad for pursuing your career, your dreams. I certainly didn’t when I left the Nine-Nine. Does that make me a bad person?”

She smiled, “Of course not, but-”

“She’s just gonna miss you, dude,” Gina interrupted again. “Also means she’s stuck with Boyle and Jake most of the time, which sucks.”

Amy laughed, the guilt slowly ebbing away. “Thanks, Gina.”

“Don’t let other people stop you from achieving your dreams: new Gina-mandment.”

*

It was Amy’s last day at the Nine-Nine, and Rosa was still being stand-offish with her. It stung because it reminded Amy too much of when they first - before they were friends.

They were in the briefing room, and Amy had tried to sit next to Rosa, who immediately got up and made Scully switch seats with her. Amy had tried to listen to Holt, but all she could think about was the friend she hurt.

She zoned back in once she heard her name. “-Santiago’s last day with us here in the Nine-Nine before she goes on maternity leave, and then becomes a Lieutenant in the Nine-Three.”

He looked at her, a rare warm smile across his face, “We’re all very proud of you, and we’ll miss having you as one of our own.” He turned back to the squad, “I apologise for being so overly sentimental. Dismissed.”

Most of Amy’s last day at the Nine-Nina was taken up by people coming up to her, congratulating her on the baby, the promotion, saying they’ll miss her - everyone but the one person she wanted to hear it from the most.

It was near the end of her shift when Holt called her into his office.

“Everything alright, Sir?” she asked, lowering herself into the chair across from Holt.

Instead of answering, he asked a question of his own. “How has your last day been, Lieutenant?”

“Good,” Amy smiled. “Finished everything up,” she nodded, feeling the tears come on, “said my goodbyes.” She carried on nodding, fighting back the tears. Pregnancy and saying goodbye was not a good combination. She knew she’d be emotional wherever she left the Nine-Nine, but the pregnancy hormones were making it a thousand times worse.

His lips quirked upwards ever so slightly. “I just wanted to tell you again how proud of you I am. It has been my absolute honour to be your mentor, and I cannot wait to see you make improvements elsewhere within the NYPD. I hope your time here, with us, with me, proves itself useful…” he trailed off, the guise of formality dropping. “And I am so elated to see you succeed. I know it won’t be long until you yourself become a Captain, and make great change in this city.”

Amy was freely crying now. “Thank you, sir. I just want you to know that whatever good I do, whatever change I make, it will be because you helped me get there. You set the example. I can only hope to live up to you.”

Tears glistened in Holt’s eyes, “You already have.”

*

After crying with Holt for a while, Amy pulled herself together and left his office, heading to her desk to collect her things. As she was putting the last of her stuff in her bag she heard a cough. She looked up and saw the one person who’d been avoiding her all day.

“Look, dude, obviously I’m super happy for you,” Rosa said quickly, making it impossible for her to get a word in edgeways. “You totally deserve this and if you need to leave to get that amazing career that you deserve then of course you had to do it. You’re gonna crush it. I was upset that you didn’t tell me earlier, so we could’ve made the most of your time here. But then I realised whilst I was brooding that I was the one wasting the last of our time working together. But I was too stubborn to tell you that, but now you’re leaving I can tell you.” Rosa finally took a breath, her face getting red as her eyes began to water. “I’m sorry.”

Amy just pulled into the tightest hug a pregnancy belly would allow.

“As soon as I can we’re going on a girls night,” she declared.

Rosa chuckled into her shoulder “If anyone in your new precinct gives you crap just call me. I’ll bring my axe… and my throwing stars, just to be sure.”

The sleuth sisters laughed.

*

3 months later

“You sure you’ve got everything?” Jake asked as she got out of the car.

Amy rolled her eyes, “I’m sure. I’m not your child, you don’t need to fret over me.”

“I’ll send you updates if you send me updates,” Jake offered, getting out of the car to hug her goodbye. “And I’ll bring the kids when I pick you up later.”

She smiled at her doting husband. “Thank you. Have a good day.”

“You too.” He kissed her goodbye.

Amy watched him drive away before turning to the building before her: the Nine-Three. Her new precinct.

Walking into the building, Amy kept her eyes peeled for anyone she might know. There had to be a reason Holt recommended this place so highly yet refused to tell her anything about it. 

“Lieutenant Santiago!”

As much joy as being called that gave her, it was overshadowed by the joy at hearing that voice.

“Captain Kim!”

She turned around to the older woman holding out her hand. “Welcome to the Nine-Three, Lieutenant. I’m so glad to have you onboard.”

Amy spluttered, trying to get past her shock.

“So, a nice surprise?” she asked.

Finally finding her tongue, Amy cried, “Yes! Absolutely!”

“Good! I’ve been so excited to work with you, the wait was killing me,” Kim chuckled. “When Holt reached out to ask if we had an opening here and that you were looking to transfer, I said yes in a heartbeat.”

Amy’s eyebrows shot up, “Really? I thought with the impression the squad must have given, especially my husband…”

Kim waved her hand, “Oh no, water under the bridge. I actually found it inspiring how close you all were.” Kim began walking, leading her to her office. “After Holt was promoted again he reached out to apologise, and we got to talking. He gave me lots of advice on how being so close made you better detectives. And lots of other advice.” She opened the door to her office, gesturing at Amy to have a seat. “The last Lieutenant was an older gentleman. Good at his job, but very resistant to change. I hope with your help we’ll be able to do some good here and make this precinct an actual force for good in this city.”

Amy beamed. “I can’t wait to get started.”

[purplebass]

#2 Celbratory Fic! And it's another one with Jesse and his uncles + cousins. This time, Jesse spends time with uncle Gabriel, Thomas, Anna and Grace. You can just say is a continuation of this other fic I've posted a few days ago. The next fic will be about Grace and Christopher (also: anon, I hope you don't mind I'll use your prompt!). I also hint at this in this fic. So, happy reading! ✨

Characters: Jesse Blackthorn, Thomas Lightwood, Gabriel Lightwood, Anna Lightwood, Grace Blackthorn, Lucie Herondale

Jesse sat across his cousin Thomas in the carriage, and it was a bright morning. He forgot how hot the weather could turn towards the summer season, and wished he hadn’t worn a coat, because the air in the vehicle was stale, and he was sweating. Too late. Too late and too bad the windows seemed to be stuck, but at least they had almost arrived at his uncle Gabriel’s house.

“Are you adapting well?” Thomas asked him.

“Uncle Gabriel and aunt Cecily are very kind,” he said. He accepted to live at their house for the time being, while he continued training to become a shadowhunter. “And Anna decided to give me her room while I’m there. I can’t express my gratitude enough.”

Thomas smiled. “Don’t mention it. You’re part of our family. But even if you weren’t, we would still help you, Jesse.”

Jesse couldn’t help but grin, and blush a little. He remembered when he was a child. His mother never failed to mention how his uncles and their families were corrupted, evil, and they needed to be kept at arm’s length, if he ever were to cross paths. But his relatives had been nothing short of welcoming.

“Looks like we’re here,” Thomas announced, glancing outside. “By the angel, uncle!” he exclaimed next, as he opened the door to get off.

Jesse exited after him, and saw his uncle Gabriel touching the side of his shoulder. “Is everything alright?” he asked. Thomas seemed to have stormed inside already.

Gabriel looked up, and winced a little. “Yes, yes. I wanted to open the door for you, but Thomas beat me to it,” he shrugged. “Did you have fun at Gideon and Sophie’s?”

Jesse nodded. “They took me around Idris. It was really nice,” he said. He had seen Idris already, when he was a ghost. But seeing it during the day was something entirely different. He liked the shadowhunter city, and the life that came with it. Although, if he had to be honest, he preferred the area where Blackthorn Manor was located, at the edge of Brocelind forest, where there was nothing else but vegetation around him. And Herondale Manor.

“I’m glad, I’m glad,” Gabriel replied. “When you’re ready, we will accompany you to the manor like you asked last time. Do you still want to renovate it?”

“I think it’s my duty as the last Blackthorn alive.” It felt weird to utter the word alive without thinking himself dead. I am alive. I am alive. I am living. “And I want to see if there is something that can be salvaged from the ruins. You know, family heirlooms, and things like that.” There weren’t many things in the manor that Jesse had cared about, because admittedly, there hadn’t been much to begin with. He hoped that most of the items he used whenever they were there, like the old books which probably belonged to his father or grandparents, hadn’t been destroyed in the fire. He had cherished those books. They were one of the few goods that had given him a glimpse of how his father might have been around his age. He didn’t live that long, after all.

Sometimes, he found himself thinking about Rupert. How life might have turned out, if he hadn’t lost his life before he was born. Now his uncles, aunts and cousins were the closest thing he had to a family. His uncle Gabriel offered to teach him how to use the bow and arrow, which had surprised Jesse. He hadn’t asked anyone to help him with training. He was happy someone offered to help him.

“I’ve always wanted to learn how to use it, but we didn’t have one at Chiswick,” he told Gabriel in the training room of the London Institute, where there was more space available to practice.

Gabriel had made a face. “Strange. There was one which belonged to me, but maybe,” he had shaken his head, lost in thought. “Nevermind. Let’s get started, shall we?”

And then he had spent the day learning how to hold the bow and shoot. It hadn’t been easy, and his shoulders were a little stiff, but he had managed to pull a few good shoots by the end of their session. His uncle had patted his shoulder lightly and had congratulated him. It felt good.

“Not bad for your first time,” he had commented. “How did you find the bow?”

“I think I like it.”

“If we train more, you will get even better. No pressure.”

Jesse wasn’t sure if the bow and arrow was his weapon of choice, but he surely wanted to know more about it. “Thanks, uncle Gabriel,” he had replied, making his uncle’s face brighten.

It was the first time he had called him uncle.

Gabriel and Jesse reached the drawing room. Perched on an armchair, newspaper in hand, sat his cousin Anna Lightwood. “About time, cousin. My tea’s got cold,” she said, twirling the cup in her slender fingers for show. It was empty.

Jesse had heard a lot about Anna. Had seen her while he was a ghost as well. She had a reputation for being fashionable and very direct, confident. Two things he didn’t think he was, but not everyone was perfect, and he was sure that Anna had demons of her own. Perhaps, someday they would talk about it like cousins did. He believed.

“You know that our family’s carriage is slow, Anna,” said Thomas from the window, his arms crossed on his chest.

“Right. Anyway, you’re here, finally,” she said, rising from her seat. “Are you excited that we’re about to redo your wardrobe?”

“I trust your judgement” he answered. “But please, don’t make me ridiculous.”

“You, ridiculous?” Anna’s eyebrows shot up in disbelief. “You could never be ridiculous with such features. Trust me on that. I will make your black hair and green eyes combination shine.”

“If you say so,” he pursed his lips. “Grace,” he said then, as his sister crossed the threshold. She had been staying at the Lightwoods as well, but lately she had been spending more time at Grosvenor Square, where the Fairchilds lived. She told him that she liked to help his cousin Christopher in the lab, and that she wanted to learn more about science. Jesse couldn’t object about that, because he knew that his sister could never truly pursue what she wanted. He just wanted her to be happy, and if science was what she was interested in, so be it.

“I’m sorry I’m late, but I had to change.”

“Did my brother burn something again?” Anna asked. “Last time I wanted to watch what he was doing, he ruined my tie.”

“And he almost burnt my eyebrows once,” Thomas reminded them.

“Nothing of the sort,” Grace said. “It’s late, isn’t it? Shouldn’t we go?” she asked hurriedly, as if she didn’t want to continue that conversation. She barely talked about what happened in the lab, and he guessed she didn’t want to. Not that he wanted to know. He respected her privacy, but not everyone did.

Thomas stayed behind because he had something to do, whereas Jesse, Anna and Grace decided to take a walk to get to the shops where they could find something for him. They didn’t disguise themselves, which he liked. It made him feel part of the world again, to be seen by people. The street Anna had taken them teemed with pedestrians going about their day, and they reached the clothing shop soon. It had a big sign on it, and some dresses on display.

Anna decided that purple and burgundy were Jesse’s color, and she chose a couple of waistcoats. She insisted that she would pay, saying they were a welcoming gift. Now they were visiting the third shop, which was a three floor building which sold different items for men and women alike. He believed they had bought several pieces already, but Anna was convinced that he needed a coat for the winter season, even if it was almost summer. Ah, and a bathing suit. Really? As she was looking around to find the perfect piece, he decided to take a tour around the store, since he had never seen one like that before.

He was by himself as he waited, because Grace excused herself that she also needed to look for something. He walked around and glanced at the accessories and the clothes, until something caught his eye.

“I don’t think that is her style,” Grace said, reappearing by his side as if she had appeared out of thin air.

He lifted a brow. “I don’t know who you’re talking about,” he feigned ignorance. “And how do you know what her style is?”

“You’re right, I have no idea about that. Although I’ve paid attention to her, I’m not sure.”

“About what?” he peered at her as she was checking something from the same rack.

Grace gave him an unreadable look. “She seems fickle. I’m worried that now that she managed to bring you back, she won’t be interested anymore.”

“I understand your concern, Grace,” he told her flatly. “But I can assure you, it’s nothing like that.”

“Has she told you she loves you already?”

“How do you know that?” he asked, blushing, glancing away.

“She did,” Grace said, inclining her head. “I can’t believe it. I thought she would never.”

Jesse didn’t know how Grace had realized that, but he could tell that she understood his feelings, and she didn’t want him to get hurt. He was about to ask her something, when Anna interrupted them.

“This looks refined, cousin,” she commented. “Lucie will like it,” she added, before she stormed away again.

Jesse and Grace exchanged a glance, and the latter grinned. He felt his cheeks warm, and he walked away before his sister could notice he was blushing.

...

A few hours and several bags of clothes and accessories later, they all went back to the Lightwood residence. Anna was pleased with what she had chosen for Jesse, and said that she’d be looking forward to seeing him in one of them at the next event, whatever that might be.

“Anna has a good eye for fashion,” Grace commented, holding two bags of clothes as well. “Do you think she likes us?”

“Why wouldn’t she?” Jesse shrugged. It was a curious question he did not expect.

“Well, you’re her cousin, whereas I’m -” Grace stopped mid-sentence, making Jesse wait. “Lucie.”

She turned abruptly, as if she had been caught with her hands in the cookie jar. She glanced at Grace, then at him. “Hello, Grace. Hello, Jesse.”

“What are you doing here?” Grace asked bluntly. It sounded a bit like an accusation, but considering the conversation they had had in the shop earlier, he expected it. Grace was wary of Lucie.

Lucie sighed, and managed a smile. She wasn’t wearing a hat nor gloves, and he suspected she had been waiting for them. He glowed inside. She came to see him. Which excuse would she use today? He bit his lip expectantly, amused.

“I had to run an errand for… for aunt Cecy,” she mumbled, clutching her hands nervously. “She needed something to do something, I guess.”

Grace wasn’t convinced at all, but she let her go. “See you next time,” she just said, then gazed up at Jesse one last time before leaving them alone.

Once Grace was out of sight and out of earshot, Lucie advanced. She offered him her best smile, which he exchanged with one of his own.

“Nice excuse you’ve got here, huh,” he said.

“Was it that obvious?”

“She already knows, Lucie,” he revealed, to which Lucie just nodded. “You know that Anna took me shopping today,” he changed the topic quickly. He opened his arms, and she hurried to him and put her hands behind his back, and her head on his chest. He closed her in an embrace, and interlaced his fingers behind her neck.

“Did you buy a lot of things?” she asked excitedly. “I can’t wait to see you in one of the suits you bought with Anna.”

“You will see them soon enough, I think. Isn’t there a party next week? At the London Institute?”

“Is it?” she glanced up. “I didn’t. Why has no one notified me?”

“Do not sound so angry,” he chided, a smile dancing on his lips. “No one knows.”

“Are you teasing me, Jesse Blackthorn?” she raised an eyebrow.

“Yes,” he admitted. “I have something for you,” he said, and produced a small pouch from his pocket. “Here.”

Lucie examined it, and then looked inside. There was a silver comb with a butterfly decoration in it. “It’s precious,” she told him. Unable to hide her joy, she hugged him again, this time more tightly than before. “I really like it.”

“I’m glad,” he remarked, caressing the back of her neck. “I had to make up for the one I couldn’t retrieve from Chiswick.”

“Nevermind about that. I like this one more,” she said, and raised her head so that he could kiss her.

Someone cleared their voice, and they separated. It wasn’t a secret that they were together… to most. But probably, not everyone had caught up.

“Does Will know about this?” Gabriel asked, but they could tell he wasn’t serious, just curious. And he was smiling.

“Come on, Gabriel. Leave them alone,” Cecily intervened, taking her husband’s arm to lead him away, winking at them. “They were just embracing.”

“He will know next week,” Jesse said, making Gabriel and Cecily stop in their tracks. “That I plan to spend the rest of my life with Lucie, however long that might be.”

Lucie opened her mouth in surprise, and looked at him. “Jesse, are you...”

“Yes. Are you?”

“Undoubtedly, yes!” she exclaimed, embracing him again.

“Did he just propose to her or it’s my impression?” Gabriel wondered out loud.

“He did. Yes, he sure did,” Cecily said, and dragged a blabbering Gabriel away, while Jesse basked in his own happiness with Lucie, and he felt alive.

Taglist (if you want to be added or removed, send me a PM): @princesslucinda @kit-12 @immortal-enemies @lucian-evander @esa-emery @danieldyers @blackthorn-trash @rinadragomir @fortunesandfables @itsdaughterofthemoon @silvenys@thomastair3 @livvyheronstairs @ holding-infinity-and-a-book @lovelaces @axoloteca @autumnangel20 @cordelia-cardale @lucie-blackthorns

[tomfreakinghollandneedsaoscar]

Ice Cream Princess

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Reader

Summary: There isn't a day that JJ doesn't come to visit you at work. On the day he doesn't, you decide to visit him at work instead.

Word Count: 1,876

Note: A Stranger Things and Outer banks crossover imagine that no one asked for. Please give me feedback on anything but the title, I'm judging it and laughing at myself because of it. I hope you love it!

An ice-cream parlor opens up across the street of The Wreck. The owner quickly judges all of the teenagers that come in looking for a part-time summer job. Luckily for you, your older cousin Robin sweet talks her way - agrees to watch his daughter- to get Hopper to hire you on the spot.

Your favorite co-worker is Steve. Both of you share stories and talk about anything and everything. You're weren't too surprised to find he hang outs with "lil punks".

He has a childish side that comes out when it's you two in the shop. If a touron gives you a weird feeling and tries to flirt with you, Steve takes over like a protective older brother. You started calling him mom when he bossed you around the first time.

Last night there was a party held by the Pogues at the Boneyard. When Robin's girlfriend texts you saying that she woke up with a hangover, you agree with her that it would be best if you cover her shrift.

When you get to the shop on your bike, you park it next to Steve car and cringe when the annoying front door bell rings as you enter. "I'm surprised to see your face this morning."

"Good or bad surprised, mom?" He rolls his eyes as you walk past him and pat his shoulder.

He yells, "the worst!" As you make your way to the small back room and put your backpack in your locker.

You grab the lanyard Pope gave to you and trace the lil doodles Kiara drew on your nametag.

Clocking in, you wave at Hopper through his open office window. He learns further in his chair, arms across his chest.

"You work too much."

"You don't pay me enough."

Humming to the radio that's connected to the speakers that hang from the ceiling, you look over Steve shoulder to see which Playlist he's playing.

You mutter, "I hate that thing" when the bell rings.

JJ is leading everyone, arms flaring around as he jumps on top of the counter. He bends one knee underneath his other leg to sit more comfortably sideways and grins at you.

"You're ass is going to break that and you'll have to pay for it."

"Are you telling me I have a fat ass?" He puts a hand over his heart and fakes cries. "That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me, Princess."

You shove him off, chuckling when he almost doesn't save his fall and trip over his own two feet.

"So dramatic like always and Y/N is still my name." You point down at your nametag. "Y/N. Not Princess."

"What do you guys want today?" Steve asks.

JJ glares at him but smirks when you pick up a scoop. He leans over the counter and says, "I'll like a lick of that."

You tell Pope thank you for slapping JJ in the back of the head, making his gray and red snapback fall off.

He runs his fingers through his hair and you barely catch it when throws it towards you.

"You would look better in it than that." He reaches over to tap on your uniform hat wear.

You blush at the hidden complaint and slap his hand away.

"Stop flirting." John B says as he hands over JJ his ice cream.

Kiara slightly pushes him towards the table, they always sit at.

Steve smirks as he leans against the counter. "Princess?"

In the corner of your eye, you see JJ giving himself whiplash. You know Steve is on a mission to find a nickname for you, especially something that you hate as much as he hates 'mom'.

But JJ doesn't. "It's a long story."

"I'll love to hear it someti-"

JJ claps his hands together as the chair slides across the floor as he stands up. "Once upon a time, little miss Y/N dressed up as a princess one Halloween. There was a picture of proof that her mother gladly showed me. Ever since, I've called her Princess and one day she'll call me her Prince. The end."

Sarah 'awwws' and says, "That's actually really adorable."

"Thank you, I know." JJ says proudly and you both smile at each other.

─────

During your next shift, it's only John B and JJ.

"Well hello there boys."

JJ takes off his sunglasses off slowly and puts his arm on the counter. "Princess."

You try not to pay attention to how good his arms look with his gray tank top.

You're the one who breaks eye contact. You don't miss the little fist pump he does but you miss how his shoulders drop when you look at him after seeing how panic John B looks.

Oh, right.

"We need to get the biggest bowl of Sarah's favorite ice cream. Her monthly came to visit and John B, the sweetheart idiot he is, doesn't remember her flavor."

You make 'o' shape with your mouth. "Got it. It's the end of the world for him. Well lucky for you, I know it."

John B screams out, "I owe you one" as he grabs the cup container from you and runs out to the Van.

JJ puts money in the tip jar. "From future Sarah."

After you watch him put his sunglasses back on and the door bell rings when the door closes, Robin pinches your leg.

"Are you going to start helping me again with this or am I going to have to restock everything myself?"

Blushing, you say, "I'm not Steve."

She stops laughing after a few seconds to say, "I bet you that JJ knows his Princess favorite ice cream flavor."

"Shut up."

─────

Pope, Kiara, and JJ all give you a pointed look when they stop by the shop before seeing a movie. The movie you agreed to go to one minute but then the next you said "wait sorry, I have to work." and hanged up on JJ.

"I'm about to drag you and your cute stubborn ass out of here for once and all, Princess."

Kiara has a hand on her hip, when she says, "You need to take a break."

You close your eyes and throw your head back, annoyed that she's right. "You guys know how much I need this job and the money."

A look of understanding crosses JJ's face but he straightens himself and says in a stern voice, "You are also supposed to have fun with your friends once a while."

"I know that!" He doesn't flinch at you raising your voice.

Thinking he's used to it, your heart and face fall.

"I- I'm sorry. How about we all hangout tomorrow at the Chateau and relax? Or we can do anything you guys want to do. Let John B and Sarah know and-"

JJ strides behind the counter and pulls you in a hug. No one words are needed when you shove your face against his chest and catch your breathing.

Pope puts a hand on his shoulder. "Come on, JJ. We're going to be late."

"You know what? I'm actually in the mood for ice cream not theater popcorn. Go on without me."

Kiara tells you both goodbye and Pope mouths "whipped" and does the wrapped around a finger hand's motion as she pulls him away.

You look up at JJ. "You didn't have to do that."

"Do what?" His cocky grin becomes bigger when you roll your eyes before helping a costumer. He leaves the counter to sit at the table, hands on the bottom of his chin as he does silly faces from behind the stranger's shoulder.

─────

Steve looks up when he hears the bell ring and watches as JJ loses his step.

Before he can walk away, Steve says, "She will be back shortly. I sent her to the bank real quick for more change."

JJ lets the door close behind him. He takes a big breath in as he turns around. "You trust her that much, huh?"

"Don't you?"

JJ lets out a dark laugh. "It's different. You get payed to see her, I do it because I want to."

That's Steve's breaking point. "Okay, I don't understand why or how you started hating me the first time you met me but I think I can get a wild guess why. A attractive, couple of years older comes into her life. You're jealous over nothing, dude. I see her as annoying little sister. And yeah, I get payed to do this shitty job but when she's working too, she makes it fun."

"Are you done?" JJ is looking at anything but him.

"One more thing, don't waste anymore time."

Steve looks at the clock on the wall and figures you'll be back any minute.

"I have to get to work." JJ looks over his shoulder.

He opens his mouth but changes his mind, and closes it and walks out.

On the other side of the sidewalk, he doesn't stop when you call out his name.

──────

"Funny seeing you're here."

JJ slams his tray down on the table next to yours. "I work here."

He stops wiping it down and gets the sudden urge to squirt you with the cleaning product bottle when he hears you tapping your feet against the chair across on of your table.

When he looks around and notices there aren't a lot of people in the dinner room he sits down and huffs and puffs. "Why are you here?"

"What? You can come visit me at work but I can't?"

When you both notice another bus boy, you let JJ grab the nearest glass pitcher and pull you some water.

"Now you can't walk away and ignore me, like how you did a couple of hours ago."

"I'm sure Steve told you all about it." The biter in his voice makes you lean over the table to grab his hand.

He jumps but doesn't pull away.

"He told me that you came in the shop, you looked like a little lost puppy when you made eye contact with him instead of me. You guys actually had somewhat of a conversation, which, I'm surprised actually happened."

JJ smiles a little as you start spinning one of his rings. "Steve didn't tell me what it was about...at first."

JJ can't sit still.

He stands up and as he talks, he walks in pace. "He, he uh- shit. Fuck, okay. He got in my head. I couldn't talk to you cause I didn't want to say something that would ruin our friendship. I didn't even know how I would say it-to be honest, still don't but you're smart, I think you know where am I going with this-"

He stops talking, mid-sentence when you laugh. "JJ, just say it or I'll crush your ego by saying it first."

"I love you." He says it over and over again in the middle of the kisses after you say it back.

He stops when someone yells his name and tells him to get back to work.

You give him a quick peak and have to put your hands on top of his to move them off of your hips.

"I'll see you later, JJ. We can go watch a movie?"

"Sounds like a date, Princess."

[imaginationintowords]

Folklore [song series]

this is me trying

Modern Day AU! Steve Rogers x OC!Reader; Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff

Plot: Inspired by Taylor Swift’s new album folklore. The story follows the timeline of Bucky and Elizabeth’s life throughout the years.

word count: 3592

[a/n: I’m so sorry that it’s taken me so long to update this and my other story. i’ve been busy with school and work. thank you for your continued patience and support]

previous part

Series Masterlist

Age: 20 Year: Dec. 2014 Location: Brooklyn, NY

"How have you been James?”

Bucky looks out the window to his right. Hands grasped together in his lap as he sits on the dark green sofa across from the woman he's been seeing for the last 5 months.

He ponders the question, making sure to answer it honestly. He looks back at her giving her his full attention again.

"Good," he answers truthfully, a small smile planted on his face. Life has been good. School is going incredibly well. My job is going better than I could've imagined. Really learning a lot."

"How are things going with Natasha?" The older lady asks.

“Great. Really great," Bucky says with a slightly bigger smile.

"Good. I'm glad to hear that," she smiles back, proud to the see progress James has made since his first visit moths ago.

After the blow up he and Steve had, Bucky fell into a depressive state. He refused to talk to anyone about what had happened. It wasn't until his younger sister Rebecca came to talk to him:

"I get you don't want to talk to any of us about what happened last week," she said as Bucky laid in bed looking out the window, his back facing her, "But you can't just stay in bed, hiding for the world. Starving yourself isn't going to solve anything.

"Sulking is only going to make you worse. It's not healthy, Buck. We're all worried. Ma is incredibly worried. She's barely been eating. I hear her wandering the house at all hours, because she can't sleep."

"You don't want to talk to us, fine. But you need to talk to someone. If not for yourself, but for Ma. Please," she begs, before leaving Bucky alone to ponder what she said.

He knew he wasn't coping the healthy way. He hadn't realized how much he was affecting his family by shutting down. The last thing he wanted to do was worry his mother. So he got himself up, took a shower, ate breakfast with his family. They were surprised to see him come down, but tried not to draw any extra attention to it. Rebecca gave him an understanding nod, which he reciprocated. After breakfast, he began his research. He decided to listen to Rebecca's advice and find someone to talk to someone to help him make sense of what is going on in his mind.

And that's how he ended up in Dr. Abraham's office.

"Have you contacted Steve yet?" She asks.

"No," he answered fiddling with his fingers, "I feel embarrassed about the way I reacted."

"That's normal, James," she assured him, "But in order to repair any damage that's been cost, you need to talk to Steve. To move forward. From what you've told me he's a very understanding person. I'm sure once you've apologized and explain to him the steps you've taken to help your mental health, I'm sure he'd be willing to accept you back into his life."

"I'm not so sure," he looked down at his hands.

"You won't know until you've tried. Listen, I'm not here to tell you what to do or what not to do. I'm just here to help you navigate your thoughts a little better. In a more healthy way. If you're really serious about living a more healthier mental life, I think you should talk to him. You don't want to really throw this lifelong friendship away, do you?"

"No, I don't," he shakes his head.

"Good. Remember to be honest," she tells him, "Vulnerability isn't a bad thing. Your feelings aren't a nuisance. it's how you handle them is what matters. I'm not saying you have to talk to him as soon as you walkout of here. I just want you to start making the notion of doing so. Our time is just about up, how about we do this. Some homework for the week.

"I want you to write a letter to Steve. Bring it in next week, you don't have to read it. But I would like to discuss it. What do you say?"

"Okay, I could do that," he agreed.

Christmas week

Steve and Elizabeth flew back home a few days before Christmas. They put their bags in the trunk of their rental car.

The car ride was silent for awhile, both tired after a long flight, now sitting in traffic on their way back to their parents' place. This would be their first time back to Brooklyn since the whole Bucky situation. The road trip back to California was fun, but there was a looming sadness over Steve. It's not like he regrets standing up to Bucky he doesn't. He just wishes thing would've played out differently. He really wished Bucky would've talked to him before he left back to California.

"How are you feeling about being back?" Elizabeth asks, while they sat in traffic.

"I don't know," Steve sighs, "Feels weird going back home and not talking to Bucky."

"Maybe you should try calling him. It's been a few months. I'm sure he'd be willing to hear you out," she said, rubbing his right arm.

"I don't want to push him," Steve said through gritted teeth, his grip on the steering wheel getting tighter.

Bucky had been a touchy subject the last few months. During the first month Elizabeth would ask Steve if he'd heard from him, the answer always being no, followed by Steve shutting down. After that Elizabeth stopped asking, noticing how much it was affecting Steve, but the constant reminder of it wasn't helping. She knew that if Bucky ever did call, Steve would tell her. The only thing she could do was be patient and be there for Steve whenever he needed her.

The holidays kept everyone busy. On Christmas Eve. Steve spent it with Elizabeth's family at her grandma's house. Elizabeth found herself watching Steve play with her younger cousins, she couldn't help but giggle when they roped him into a tea party. She found herself imagining a future where Steve would do the same with their own children. She quickly shook the daydream away. Reprimanding herself a little for even thinking about kids at their young age.

On Christmas morning Elizabeth and Steve spent it with his parents. It was a nice peaceful day just lounging around in their pajamas. For dinner, Elizabeth's parents went over to have dinner at the Rogers' house. It was a nice little send off dinner for their parents who were leaving for Mexico to spend the New Years for a couples' getaway.

Elizabeth and Steve were heading to the Hamptons to spent NYE with Wanda, Thor, Loki, and Scott. They had planned to have a nice, peaceful trip.

While Steve and Elizabeth were at the Hamptons, Bucky and Natasha were spending their NYE at his family's beach cottage in Port Washington.

They were cuddled on the couch surrounded by take out containers, watching the New Years Eve special waiting for midnight to happen.

Bucky got up about 15 minutes to midnight to grab something from the kitchen. He walked back into the room with a new bottle of champagne and two champagne flutes.

"Got some champagne," he said holding it up for Natasha to see.

"Um," Natasha awkwardly shifted in her seat, "Actually about that."

Bucky looked at Nat confused, putting the bottle and flutes down on the coffee table before sitting back down next to her.

"What's wrong" he asked, grabbing the tv remote to mute the tv, and give Natasha his full undivided attention.

"So there's something I haven't told you," she says looking down at her fidgeting fingers.

"You're worrying me Nat," Bucky said, grabbing her hands to help ease her nerves

She looked up to meet his worry filled eyes.

"I'm pregnant," she announced.

Bucky eyes widen at her announcement, instantly dropping her hands. The look on her face showing she was telling the truth.

"How is that possible?" He asks in disbelief, "We've been so careful. We use double the protection. Condoms and you're on the pill."

"Actually about that," she nervously shifted under his intense gaze, "I haven't been on birth control in a little over two months."

"What?" Bucky yelled, quickly rising from his seat, "What do you mean you haven't been on birth control in a little over two months?"

"I got off of it," she shrugged trying to play it off, "It's my body and I can do what I want with it. And I just wanted to give my body a break, I've been on the pill since I was 15."

"I get it's your body, Natasha, I'm all for you doing whatever you want," he stresses, "but you should've told me. I'm your boyfriend, we have sex frequently. You should've at least had the respect of your sexual partner, letting him know that you were no longer on birth control. So in that case I could've been a tad more careful."

"We were using condoms," she half heartedly defended herself.

"They aren't 100% effective Natasha," he gripped his hair, in complete disbelief over this entire conversation, "You even know that. That also doesn't defend yourself for not telling me. You should've told me."

"I'm sorry. It's not like I was planning for this to happen," she yelled.

Bucky just stared at her like she just grew two heads. How is she not freaking out, he thought. They were clearly way too young for this. Which is why they took precautionary measures.

After a few moments of silence Natasha spoke up, "I'm keeping the baby."

Bucky didn't know what to say. He felt the room closing in on him. He started having a hard time catching his breath.

"James," Natasha quietly said, getting up to check on him. He raised his hand, silently telling her to stay where she's at.

He headed for the back door, the house felt too suffocating for him. He walked through the the small yard to the gate that led to the beach. Stumbling around.

To a stranger they would just think he's drunk. In reality he was just having a panic attack.

It was all too much. His mind was racing.

She's pregnant. With a baby. My baby. I'm going to have a kid. I'm going to be a dad. I'm not ready to be a dad. My dad was shit. God I can't be like my dad. I'm not ready for all of this.

He put his hands on his knees, hunched over trying to catch his breath. But he just couldn't. He did the only thing he could think of. He pulled out his phone and dialed the only person he knew would help.

Steve and Elizabeth were laughing with their friends, waiting for the countdown to begin. Steve felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He moved his shoulder off of the back of the couch, where Elizabeth was cuddled up against.

He pulled his phone out and his heart dropped at the name that appeared. He quickly got up and walked out of the living room and upstairs to the room where he was staying in for the week.

Wanda raised her eyebrow at Elizabeth, who just shrugged her shoulders, equally as confused.

"Bucky?" Steve answered the phone, closing the door behind him. He could hear Bucky hyperventilating on the other side.

"Steve," he tried to get out.

"Buck, what's wrong?" Steve asked, pressing the phone even closer to his ear the sound of everyone downstairs counting down to midnight.

"Steve, I-," Bucky was struggling to get out.

"Buck, please try to calm down," Steve stressed, "Inhale, hold it for a few seconds and then exhale. You need to calm down. I can't help you, if I can't understand you."

Bucky tried his best to calm himself down, with Steve talking him through it.

"Now, can you explain to me what's wrong?" Steve asked, hearing Bucky's breathing leveling out more.

"I-I'm not re-ready Steve," Bucky stutters, sniffling his nose.

"It's okay take your time, I'm here whenever you're ready."

"No, it's Natasha.”

"What's Natasha? Is she okay?" Steve questioned, getting more concerned.

"Yes, she's fi-ine," he stuttered again, trying to say the words.

"Where are you Buck?" Steve asked, looking around for his shoes and keys.

"I'm at the beach cottage."

"I'm in the Hamptons. Is there any way you can meet me back at my place?"

"Yeah, I think I can," Bucky said a bit more calmer now.

"Okay, I'll see you soon."

When midnight struck Elizabeth went upstairs to check on Steve, making sure everything was okay. She could hear him on the phone talking to Bucky, trying to calm him down. She waited outside of the door to give them some privacy.

Twenty minutes later Wanda went to go check on them, to find Elizabeth sitting on the floor.

"Is everything okay?" She whispered.

"I don't know," she answered, "I'm waiting for Steve. You can head back down, I'll be down shortly."

"Okay. We're here if you guys need anything," Wanda said before walking back down.

After another 25 minutes Elizabeth heard Steve hang up the phone. She softly knocked on the door, and let herself in. She walked in to see Steve frantically going around the room collecting his things.

"Steve is everything okay?"

"It's Buck. He called me while he was having a panic attack. Something about Natasha," he tells her.

"Is she okay?"

"I think so. I was able to calm him down. I need to get back home," he said putting his things in his suitcase.

"Okay. I completely understand. Do you want me to go with you for the drive?" She asked.

"I don't want you to have to cut your time here short," he says, feeling guilty for bringing this on her.

"Steve, something is clearly going on with Bucky. I want you to go to him, but maybe it's best if I drove. I haven't had a drink in hours, and you seem too frantic. Please let me help," she pleaded, placing her hand on his stopping him.

Steve looked up and noticed the worry on Elizabeth's face.

"Okay," he gave in, "We'll need to leave as soon as we can."

Elizabeth nodded, quickly grabbing her weekender bag and start shoving things in. If they forgot anything's he knew Wanda would bring it back.

They said their quick goodbyes and were on the road within 5 minutes, with Elizabeth behind the wheel and Steve fidgeting in the passenger seat.

Bucky took a few minutes to himself on the beach, trying to make sure his anxiety was at rest before he headed back inside. When he entered the house, Natasha shot up from her seat.

"Happy New Years," she awkwardly said, trying to cut the obvious tension.

"Umm," Bucky scratched his head looking everywhere but at Natasha, "We need to leave."

"What?"

"I mean, you can stay if you want and I'll pick you up tomorrow," he rephrased, "But I can't stay here. I need to go. Steve is meeting me at his house."

"Steve?" She was taken back by that mention, not expecting to hear Bucky say his name. He hasn't mentioned Steve in months.

"Yeah, I called him," Bucky says rubbing the back of his neck.

"Well that's good right?"

"Yeah, listen. I really need to go, so are you going to stay or come with me?"

"To see Steve?"

"No. I would drop you off at your place," he tells her, "I'm seeing Steve alone."

"Will she be there?"

Natasha didn't really know exactly why Steve and Bucky weren't talking, at first. Then she heard that Steve and Elizabeth were dating, and it all made sense. The only person that could tear Bucky and Steve apart. She never told Bucky that she knew. Figured it wasn't worth the fight. Especially not now when she was carrying his child.

To an outsider it might seem like she got pregnant on purpose, but that wasn't the case. She knew they were too young for this, at least that's what she thought when she first found out about the pregnancy a week ago. But now that she's sat with it she's taking it as a sign that this is meant to happen. She's just really hoping that Bucky would see it, if not now but eventually.

"Listen, Natasha, I don't have time for this," he looks her in the eyes, "Are you coming or not?"

"I'll get my bag," she remarked with a snark tone, walking passed him to their shared room.

A couple of hours later Bucky was pulling up in front of the Rogers' house. 2:15 am read the clock in his car. He looked to his right, out the passenger side window to see a dark figure sat on the front steps of the house.

Bucky took one last breath before exiting the vehicle.

As soon as he opened the front gate Steve stood up from where he was sat on the stairs.

Once Bucky approached him both young men threw their arms around each other. Gripping each other tightly, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. They stayed like that for awhile. Relishing in the comfort of being back in each other's arms. Their silent fight no longer important. All they knew in that moment was everything was going to be okay, because no matter what they'll always have each other.

Steve walked into his parents' living room holding two mugs of coffee. As he rounded the couch, he handed one to Bucky.

"Sorry, if I ruined any of your plans," Bucky apologized, "Tell Elizabeth I'm sorry for taking you away."

'Buck, don't worry about it," Steve waved him off, "She completely understands. And truth be told, I wasn't necessarily feeling in the New Year's mood."

"Yeah," Bucky sighs.

"Do you want to talk about what happened tonight?" Bucky nods his head, placing the coffee mug on the coffee table in front of him. He shifted his body to the left to face Steve.

"She's pregnant," he announces.

"What?" Steve asked, not expecting that to be the reason, he quickly placed his mug next to Bucky's.

"Yeah, my reaction exactly," Bucky said.

"What? How?"

"Apparently Natasha hasn't been on the pill in a couple of months," Bucky explains, "And even though we always used condoms, they aren't exactly 100% effective."

"Did you know she wasn't on the pill?"

"Nope," Bucky tells him, "If I knew I wouldn't been a bit more cautious."

"So she told you she was pregnant?" Steve said getting back to it.

"Yeah. She was so nonchalant about it. Like it was no big deal," Bucky stressed,

"How is she just so calm. We're not prepared for this. I'm not ready for this Steve. I can't be a dad. I don't even know how to be a decent human being."

"That's not true Buck," Steve disagreed.

"Come on Steve, we haven't talked in months, and we both know it's not because you didn't try," Bucky says, "I was so caught up in my own jealousy. And selfishness, that I never even considered your feelings or Elizabeth's. And I don't think I can ever make it up to you for treating you like you're nothing to me."

"You were hurt," Steve tried to excuse.

"Doesn't excuse the way I behaved," Bucky says, "I know that now."

"I've been seeing a therapist," Bucky informs him, "I never realized how much my mental health was taking a toll on those around me. So after our fight, I found someone to talk to. To work through the shit that's going on in my mind."

"How's that been going?" Steve asked.

"Good," Bucky gives a half smile, "Really good. She's good. I've realized a lot about myself that I didn't know. Working through all the issues I've had with my father leaving."

"That's good Buck. I'm proud of you, truly," Steve beamed, patting Bucky on the shoulder.

"I really am sorry for the way I behaved," Bucky repeated again.

"Buck, you really don't have to apologize again," Steve told him.

"I need to Steve," he said, "I can't believe I acted that way. I should've been happy for you and Elizabeth. I'm glad you two have each other. Seriously. I couldn't imagine her with anyone better, same goes for you. I won't cause any more issues for you two. It's not worth not having you in my life. You're my brother Steve, and I don't want to miss anything."

"Thanks, Buck. It really means a lot to me to hear that," Steve smiles, "Because I don't want to miss anything in your life also."

"Yeah, especially now," he says, the reality of why they're there dawning back.

"How are you feeling now about the baby?"

"I don't know, man," Bucky shakes his head, "I'm afraid I'm going to screw this up, like everything else."

"But now you're working on that," Steve reminds him, "And you're not going to be doing this alone. You have people who are always going to be there. I may be in California now, but I'm just a phone call away. You're not alone. But you do have to try Buck. That's all that you can ever do. Try your best, no one's asking you to be perfect, but as long as you're trying your best, that's what's important."

Age: 21 Year: 2015

The sounds of a baby crying woke Bucky up from his sleep in the early depths of the morning. He quietly and quickly got out of bed, making his way to the small New York kitchen to make a bottle.

He walked into the small nursery where the two-month-old baby wailed from hunger.

"It's okay," Bucky shushed gently, picking up the small baby, "Daddy's here."

He adjusted the small baby in his arms before placing the bottle in the baby's mouth.

"There you go," he encouraged the small one, as soon as he heard the sounds of the baby drinking.

Bucky sat down on the chair in the corner of the room, opposite of the crib. He just stared as the newborn drank their bottle, while simultaneously falling asleep. Even though he was completely exhausted, he had never felt more happier. More at peace with where his life was at.

As long as he kept trying his best, he knows he can do this for the rest of his life.

[sweet-as-battery]

genuine reasons

Oh BOY! Here we are. This is my first foray into fanfic in over ten years. Please bear with me. Thanks to @twistedboxy​ and @jeffreycombseverything​ for encouraging me to post. This is super OOC for Herbert, but I like to hc that he avoids drinking because he gets soft. Also, even though Bride is one of my favorite movies, I won’t accept that Meg is dead. :) Anyways, I'm just gonna post this before I chicken out. Happy Holidays, y'all!

-----

Summary: Your date for your family holiday party drops out, so you ask Herbert to pretend to be your date for the night. After a couple drinks and some ego boosting, Herbert realizes there might be a reason the two of you are good at this game... 2.8k words (YIKES!)

You pulled your car up to the curb and turned off the ignition, glancing up at the house to your left which was decked out in lights. You snuggled into your scarf as you shifted your view to the other side of the car where Herbert silently seethed in the passenger’s seat. Fidgeting with the steering wheel for a moment, you offered him a small, “We don’t have to stay long.”

The man tutted and waved you off. Like that changed the fact that he had to be here at all. You had come to him two days ago, telling him how you’d told your family that you’d be bringing home a guy from class you’d been seeing. Then just days later, said guy decided that he’d rather go home to celebrate with the other girl he’d been seeing. When you didn’t have the heart to tell your family what had happened, you’d begged West to stand in for the dinner. 

He’d initially scoffed and made a cold remark about you having excellent taste in men. The disheartened look on your face immediately told him he had made a mistake, but when you just nodded and walked away as opposed to starting one of your famous arguments, he began to feel a sense of guilt creep in. 

As he vaguely recounted the incident to his other housemate, Dan didn’t hesitate in letting Herbert know just how much of an ass he was. It was after that stern push he got from Dan that had gotten him to give in and agree. 

“Herbert, you need to go. She’s given you how much of her spare time since you took her on as your assistant? The least you could do for her is pretend to be her date for a couple hours.”

But, Herbert doesn’t do family, or more so, dating. What a trivial waste of time. Even during the holidays, Herbert really only had himself. Dan always goes to visit family with Meg, and this was his first year with you around. Dan would always invite Herbert to come home with the two of them, but he would just scoff and tell him that science never stops to celebrate the holidays. 

Luckily for Herbert, your family only lived about a half hour outside of Arkham, but his overarching sense of dread at having to socialize increased ten-fold when you had parked in front of the brightest, most sickeningly decorated house on the street. You suddenly twisted and reached into the backseat before producing a bottle of wine and a cake. 

“Could you carry these if I get the gifts?” you asked Herbert, and he hesitantly took the items from you. 

You grabbed the bag of gifts from the backseat and the two of you walked together to the front door before you rapped against the wood with your free hand. After a moment of the two of you standing there in silence, Herbert could feel your eyes on him. He took a second to glance over and saw you smiling at him. He sent a small, false, fleeting grin back before the door swept open and your mom cried out your name lovingly.

She pulled you quickly into a hug and ushered the both of you in the door. She gestured to the table with other desserts and dishes on it and Herbert sat the items in his arms down as you made introductions. When he turned back, your mother wasted no time pulling him into a hug as well. He froze, absolutely taken aback by the contact. 

You chuckled. “Mom I know you’re a hugger, but Herbert’s not.” 

She pulled away and looked at him apologetically. “I’m sorry, dear. It’s just lovely to meet you.”

“You as well, Mrs Y/L/N,” Herbert responded politely. As she insisted he call her by her first name, you heard two sets of sneakers padding closer against the hardwood floors. Your two nephews came into view and you pointed at them excitedly. 

“Y/N!” The smaller of the two boys wailed out, running to you before you scooped him up into your arms and snuggled against him. 

“Are you getting into trouble?” you asked him and he smirked, shaking his head. “That looks like a lie to me,” you told him before tickling him and getting a loud giggle in return. 

“Y/N, who’s this?” the older brother asked, pointing at West. 

“This is my friend, Herbert,” you told him as his little eyes connected with Herbert’s. The pre-teen boy waved and introduced himself. 

Wonderful, Herbert thought, there’s children too. 

—-

Dinner had gone better than you had expected, and most of your relatives seemed to be comfortable in Herbert’s presence, which shocked both of you. After your insistence, non-drinker Herbert had also indulged in a couple glasses of wine, and you found he had begun to soften ever so slightly. While you stood with your elder cousin against the kitchen island, drinking and snacking on desserts, your eyes were fixed on the sight going on in the living room. 

Herbert sat on the floor in front of the coffee table, telling tales from his time in Switzerland (minus the illegal experimentation) to the kids, as well as your grandparents. Every so often, he’d gesture wildly and the children would break into fits of laughter. You felt your stomach do a flip at the sight, and while you told yourself over and over that it was the wine doing it to you, you knew it wasn’t. 

He caught your eye, shooting you a very uncharacteristic smile, and that’s when you knew you were done in. An hour ago, you’d sat silently in the car with the classic neurotic and insensitive Dr. West, but after a few drinks, a meal, and some ego stroking by your relatives, he’d turned into smiley, Mr. Sociable Herbert. As he took a moment to excuse himself and stand from his criss-cross-applesauce position on the carpet, your cousin mused, “I wish I could find someone like him.”

You chuckled at her, and as Herbert walked toward where you were in the kitchen, eyes locked on each other, you replied, “Don’t let him fool you. He’s usually a prick.”

She raised her eyebrows and looked between the two of you as Herbert perched himself right next to you. “Ah,” he began to retort, “and I take it that’s why you’ve been ogling at me for the past fifteen minutes.”

You scoffed at him as he continued looking down on you with those condescending hazel eyes of his. Your aunt came barging into the room suddenly with your mother in tow, obviously having had a few more drinks than the three of you combined. She came to stand in front of you and Herbert and attempted to make a cutesy noise. 

“So, how long have you two been together?” she asked, leaning back on the counter next to your cousin. 

You hadn’t really thought over this answer, figuring you’d make something up on the spot, but as your brain blanked in the heat of the moment, Herbert simply answered, “It’ll be eight months on the third. Our mutual colleague introduced us when we all decided to become housemates.”

Your mother squealed. “Oh! How is Dan? Are he and Meg still together?”

You nodded, “They’re staying with his family for the holidays.”

“So the two of you get the whole house to yourselves for a couple of days,” your aunt slurred, wiggling her eyebrows at the two of you. 

You could feel your face flush and Herbert shifted uncomfortably next to you. “Mom, don’t be like that,” your cousin scolded her, sensing the shift in the room.

Your own mother attempted to help as well, exclaiming that she needed a picture of the two of you. She fetched the camera from the closet in the hall and ran back in before gesturing for you and Herbert to move in closer to one another. You sighed and stepped, making it so your hands were now brushing against each other. 

Herbert suddenly pulled his away and you felt a momentary bit of disappointment before his arm wound its way around your shoulders and pulled you in tighter. You took this as your initiative and if he was going to go all in, then so were you. You wrapped one arm around his lower back and brought the other to rest on his abdomen. 

The sweater he was wearing over his normal white shirt and tie was soft, and you couldn’t help but nestle your face against it. You breathed in and noticed that his normal smell of chemicals and musty books had mixed with the warm cinnamon that filled the house. You sighed and the moment you looked up, you heard the click and flash of the camera, followed by a coo from your aunt, then another click and flash. 

After a minute of pointlessly shaking the two photos, your mother looked over them and handed you one. “Remind me to thank Dan the next time I see him. I owe him at least a cake for getting you two together.”

You looked down at the photo and seeing the seeming warmth shared between the two of you made your heart yearn. You knew that after tonight, Herbert would burn the photo if given the opportunity, so you decided to tuck it in the pocket of your cardigan and never let him get the chance. 

The two of you were skirting on the edge of something dangerous, and while you knew that Herbert was just playing the game, you were spiraling fast. What you hadn’t realized in that moment though, was just how tight Herbert was still holding you against himself. 

—-

Once everyone had finished opening their gifts, and continued chitchatting, you figured you’d subjected the doctor to enough of the charade. As you began to say your goodbyes, Herbert went to retrieve your coats. On his way back, he was suddenly stopped by your cousin from earlier. 

She pulled him aside before announcing, “I know this is weird and I’ve only observed you two for a few hours, but I want you to know that she’s crazy about you. She barely listened to five words I said earlier. It was 100% tunnel vision tonight. I just hope you feel the same because i've never seen her like this before.”

Herbert nodded in reply, too stunned by the words to find any of his own. He knew you weren’t an actor by any means. He felt your panic when your aunt began asking questions. Yet, the smiles and the touches felt genuine. As he continued mulling internally, your cousin smiled at him and walked past on her way to get her own coat. 

“See you next year, Herbert.”

He found you in the foyer with your mother and handed you your jacket before slipping into his own. Your cousin’s words still bounced around in his head as he watched the two of you embrace goodbye. After pulling apart, she began to come in for a hug with him, but stopped when she remembered. 

“Not a hugger. That’s right,” she reminded herself with a chuckle before joking, “Y/N’s the only one entitled to your hugs.”

While he could feel your almost worried gaze boring into the side of his head, he just smiled back at your mother before thanking her for having the two of you over. You really were bad at this when put on the spot. You opened the door and the two of you inched out into the cold as you shared goodbyes. Yet, as you were just about to turn and close the door behind the both of you, your mother gasped and pointed to the top of the doorframe. “I completely forgot!” She yelled out. 

Both of your eyes met and traveled slowly up to find exactly what you’d expected and dreaded. Your eyes met again and you let out a nervous laugh that Herbert mimicked. He took in the look on your face and once again thought about what your cousin had said as well as the feeling he got when you’d embraced him for the photo earlier. He had too much important work going on to twiddle around with feelings. He was defeating death. Yet, as he peered down into your eyes, he found he couldn’t recall anything at the moment. None of the formulas or correct dosages or chemical components. 

So he decided, to hell with it. 

His hands came up to hold the sides of your face and he brought his lips down to meet yours fleetingly. When he pulled back, he could see a sparkle in your eye and looked away quickly. The two of you needed to leave before he let anything slip, so he quickly gave one more goodbye before ushering you out the door and to the car. 

—-

The two of you sat in silence for most of the drive home, neither knowing the words to say. Both of you were thinking the same thing, but while Herbert had a sense of hopefulness, you were feeling the exact opposite. Yet, when you pulled into the driveway of your shared home and turned off the engine, neither of you made a move to get out. Looking at your lap, the only thing you could think up was a small, “Thank you. I know it was probably torture, but I really appreciated it.”

He made a hmm noise before announcing, “Actually, I’d be willing to do it again next year.”

You felt your chest flutter at his words and your eyes darted up to meet his. The same hazel eyes that looked upon you with contempt just hours ago now seemed softer, but on edge. Your gaze narrowed skeptically before asking, “Just how much did you drink, West?”

“Not nearly enough,” he answered and you studied his worried expression. “Let’s go inside.”

The two of you gathered the gifts and leftover cake and made your way into the house. As you tucked the cake in the fridge, you had expected Herbert to make a beeline to the basement just as he always did. To your surprise, the man was instead still in the living room, poking and prodding at the fire he’d just started. 

You sat down onto the sofa, picking at the ragged arm. “Don't you have work to do?” You asked, the tension in the air becoming palpable. 

He let out a curt sigh before coming over to sit next to you. “I don’t believe I would be able to focus after all of the distractions.” There was a beat of silence before he decided to go for it. “I would say your family believed our story. Your cousin definitely did, at least from what she told me. I believe she said you were ‘crazy for me’.”

You cringed inwardly and felt your pulse quicken before letting out a nervous chuckle. “I guess we’re just good actors.”

“See, that’s what I’ve been having trouble with.” He removed his glasses from his face and used them to gesture. “Because, you weren’t a great actor, by any means.”

You scoffed at him. “Thanks a lot. I suppose you’re gonna say you pulled the load with your magnificent performance.”

He shook his head. “Not at all. In fact, I think what saved us were your genuine feelings for me. All those looks and smiles, very convincing because they were real.”

Your panic shot through the roof, but you attempted to play it off with a loud laugh. “Don't flatter yourself, West. I feel more for some of the things we create downstairs.”

“I think you’re lying,” he retorted, emphasizing the last word with a point of his glasses. 

The dejection spread through you like a wave. You knew he’d be blunt if he ever found out how you felt, but now he was just taunting you. He shook his glasses, his lips pursed, before he sat back down next to you. He was much closer this time though, so much so that your knees kept brushing together. 

With the proximity and without the glasses, you could see his eyes perfectly, the intense green-grey staring back at you and making your heart patter. He allowed his free hand to reach out and cup your face gently. You sighed and leaned into the touch, letting your eyes close. He murmured very quietly, “And as convincing as you were, I was on the same level. Equally good at pretending, for all the same genuine reasons.”

Hearing his admission caused a lump to form in your throat. You swallowed to try and push down the feelings, but it all flew out the window as soon as you felt his lips on yours for the second time that night. His lips were chapped and the kiss was awkward, but you had expected nothing less. He was a man of science, not romance, after all. 

After eventually pulling apart for air, you rested your forehead against his and let out a small laugh. “I guess next year we don’t have to pretend,” you joked. 

“I don’t even think we can consider this year as such.”

...and now I will spend forever cringing about actually posting this. 

[slapshot-to-the-heart]

veracity - v. dunn

As promised, here’s one of our many resident himbos, Vince Dunn, in “I didn’t realize wer were dating.” As I’m sure a lot of other writers have experienced lately, reblogs have definitely been down, so I would love it if you’d give a reblog if you like it. I also read the tags! Alternately, feel free to keysmash in my inbox or let me know what your favorite parts were. 

word count: 4.9k+

warnings: light sexual content (brief)

Aly Kalinski had never bothered leaving her home town. Why would she? She loved St. Louis. She was born there, went to public schools in the city, and barely moved ten miles away from home for her art degree at SLU. For all its faults, she loved her city. Aly met Vince her sophomore year of college, an accidental run-in at her favorite sandwich shop that had turned into a friendship that had turned into a relationship. So it was a no-brainer decision for Aly to stay once she graduated, getting a position teaching middle and high school art at a school in the suburbs and a loft in downtown. She didn’t want to leave her parents, or her city. Or Vince. 

They had just gotten together, and it really hadn’t come as a surprise to anyone but them. Her older sister rolled her eyes when Aly told her, saying that “it was only a matter of time. You two practically act like an old married couple already.” Her parents were shocked even less. Vince’s teammates had actually been some of the biggest perpetrators in the first place, not-so-subtly leaving them in rooms together at parties and encouraging Aly to admit the feelings she wasn’t even sure she had until a few months ago. But it had happened organically, so naturally that Aly really couldn’t even put a pin on the point where their friendship had turned into romance. All she knew was that she was falling hard for Vince Dunn, and for once in her life, she wasn’t trying to stop herself. 

September

Clashing teeth and her hands running through his hair and his fingernails digging into the backs of her thighs was all Aly felt as Vince held her up against the door. “Vin, bedroom,” Aly gasped, pulling away for air. 

“Mhm,” he said absentmindedly, his lips trailing kisses down the column of her neck as her legs wrapped around his waist. He walked backwards into his room, dropping her down on the bed. She fumbled with the buttons on her shirt as he frantically pulled his belt off. God, it had been too long since they had touched each other. Vince had only recently returned to St. Louis for training camp and the start of pre-season, but he had been so exhausted from drills and scrimmages that all he could manage on nights they got together was curl into Aly’s side with some take out and turn on reruns of Kitchen Nightmares. She had visited him in Toronto for two weeks in July and August — it didn’t always work out so perfectly, but she was thankful that teaching meant most of her summers were free — and they had obviously had sex while they were there, but she had been missing it more than she wanted to admit. Missing him. 

So when they went out to a downtown bar with the rest of the team to celebrate the end of training camp, and Aly didn’t have work the next day, they were both more than happy to indulge in a little liquid courage. Which meant a couple of  drinks and a few more flirty touches later and the pair made their excuses to the rest of the group, Vince pulling up his Uber app before they were even out the door. And they weren’t exactly subtle about it  — Sammy had definitely shouted “USE PROTECTION” while Vince threw him a middle finger  — but they they needed each other too much to really give a fuck. 

Vince trailed his fingers up her now-bare sides, the clasp of her bra falling open with a well-practiced flick. Aly palmed him over his jeans, trying half-heartedly to reverse their positions. Vince groaned. “Not tonight, baby. I need you.” Well, it’s not like she was going to argue with that. Her leggings came off in record time. His jeans followed. Aly dropped her head into the crook of his neck as he slid into her. God, they could do this a million times and she’d never get used to how good he felt. “You’re fuckin’ incredible, Aly, you know that?” Vince gasped out. 

She pressed a kiss onto his shoulder. “You might've mentioned it once or twice, but feel free to keep going, Dunn,” she said. 

He quickened his pace. “I will.” Ten minutes and two orgasms later, she was wrapped in Vince’s arms, trying to savor every last moment before she had to get up and use the bathroom. “I meant what I said, you know?” Vince said, one hand carding through her hair. “You really are incredible, Aly. And when we’re together…” He paused, searching for the right words. 

“There’s only a few things in my life that have always come easy. Hockey, never being able to say no to ice cream, and you. I never feel like I have to be anyone other than exactly who I am when I’m with you, and I don’t know if you know just how meaningful that is for me. I need it, and I need you.” Aly smiled, turning over and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. This was the closest he’d gotten so saying he loved her, and she’d take it. 

January

Aly sipped her champagne, her eyes surveying the downtown St. Louis ballroom where she found herself on a Saturday evening. Her free hand fingered with the sequin-adorned cloth of her dress, brushing up against the thigh-high slit. It wasn’t something she would have ever bought for herself, but she loved it. It caught the light like nothing she’d ever seen and Vince’s jaw had nearly fallen off the second he saw her when he picked her up for the gala. He had bought it for her, too, insisting that if he had invited her the least he could do was spare her the expense of going out and buying one on her own.

Her job paid well for a teacher, especially one in their first few years, but she wasn’t about to complain when Vince gave her his card and sent her into the shopping district to find a dress for the night. He had told her to get something stunning, and she had delivered in spectacular fashion. It was the Blues’ big fundraising gala for the year, an annual charity event to benefit the children’s hospital. Essentially, the night was an opportunity to party on the team’s dime while wining and dining Midwestern elite in a bid to get them to open up their checkbooks. It was something that Alexandra Kalinski was proving surprisingly adept at; even though she didn’t have nearly the rapport with some of the businessmen and philanthropists as most of the players and their partners did, she was able to turn on the same “teacher” charm she used on back-to-school nights, lay the accent on a little thicker than she usually would, and tug at the heartstrings of multi-millionaires with a story of a seventh grader in one of her intro painting classes who had been treated for leukemia in the hospital’s oncology ward. They couldn’t write the checks fast enough. 

But Aly found herself at the bar a few hours in, next to Sammy as Vince smooth-talked someone she vaguely recognized as an exec for the Cardinals. Transitioning from friendship to being a couple, at least in regards to their social lives, had been much easier than she had thought. It had all just been so natural that people probably wouldn’t have even noticed if it hadn’t been for the looks she gave him, or her now-permanent spot on the “good chair” in the family box — that everyone else claimed was too lumpy but Aly swore up and down was the most comfortable place in the whole room  — or the time Colton had walked in on them hooking up in a supply closet at the Enterprise Center during a wine tasting with season ticketholders. But she had loved everything in their relationship so far, loved how welcoming all of the other WAGs were and how happy everyone had been for them when they finally got together. “God, it was about time,” Sammy had said. 

She could see that the person Vince was talking to had started making his way over to the reception table, where all the donations were being collected, and caught his eye just as he was being swept into yet another conversation. Vince liked people, there was no doubt about it, and he loved being able to help out a cause as incredible as the children’s hospital, but after almost four hours of schmoozing and small talk it was beginning to take a toll on even him. Aly gave him a tiny nod, a signal that anyone else probably would have missed, but one that Vince understood instantly. She was coming to get him. Alexandra was by his side in thirty seconds flat, her hand resting between his shoulder blades while she smiled apologetically to the man across from them. “I’m so sorry to interrupt, but I’ve got a headache and have had a bit too much to be driving myself home. Would you mind taking me?” 

Vince nodded, trying to keep his enthusiasm dampened. “Of course, babe. No problem.” He gave the businessman his best PR smile. “Sorry to have to leave so abruptly, but duty calls. Thank you so much for coming out tonight and supporting such a great cause, it really means a lot to me and the whole team.” With a perfunctory handshake, they began heading towards the exit, his hand gripping hers as they wove through the crowd. “Thanks for that, Aly,” he said as he opened up the passenger door for her. “I really was running on empty there.”

She smiled softly back at him. “Always.”

May 

Vince’s arm was draped casually over the back of Aly’s chair, his fingertips dancing over her shoulder. She was beaming up at the couple under the flower-covered wedding chuppah at the end of the aisle, leaning into Vince’s side. Her cousin Olivia was getting married, her and her soon-to-be wife Yara had been together for years and had finally decided to take the next step. When she got the invitation four months earlier, she hadn’t hesitated to invite Vince as her plus one. They had been dating for a little under a year by that point, but seeing as how most of her family was local — some of her mom’s family was in Wisconsin, but nobody really aside from that — he had already met everyone important. 

The ceremony went by in the blink of an eye, Yara and Olivia broke the glasses, and everyone began milling over towards the barn for the reception. Olivia and Yara had already met Vince some six months before, and had immediately taken to each other. The brides came over to their table after thanking everyone for coming, and dinner was served. She had never seen anyone eat as many dinner rolls in one sitting as Vince did.

---

“Alexandra!” Aly heard an excited voice from the other corner of the room over the cacophony of the music, and barely turned her head quickly enough to see who had called her name before she was pulled into a warm hug. 

Aly laughed when she saw who it was. “Nice to see you, Aunt Ruth. Aunt Ruth, this is Vince. Vince, this is my Aunt Ruth,” Aly said, gesturing to the woman across from them. 

Vince held out his hand, but Ruth waved it off. “We’re huggers here, Vince. She brought you to the wedding. You’re practically family.” She raised her eyebrows at the couple. “When’s it going to be your turn, hm?” 

Aly groaned. “Aunt Ruuuth.” 

Ruth shrugged. “I’m just saying. Your bubbe’s not getting any younger, and I’m sure she’d love to see some of her grandchildren with kids of their own.” 

“How about we, uh, get off of that subject,” Aly said, her cheeks burning. “That’s up to this one, after all,” she said, patting Vince on the arm. Vince ducked his head, understanding the grip of Aly’s hand on his arm as I love this woman but I swear to God if you don’t get me out of here I think I might combust.

He smiled apologetically to the older woman, feigning a glance at his watch. “The ceremony was amazing, Ruth, but I think I’ll have to be taking Aly home now. We’ve got early breakfast plans tomorrow and I’m sure you know how this one gets when she doesn’t get a full night of sleep.” Aly squeezed his hand in appreciation. 

“Of course,” Ruth said, smiling at the pair. She winked as they turned towards the door. “But think about it.” 

Aly ran her hand through her hair as soon as they turned the corner into the dirt parking lot. “Thanks for that, Vin. We don’t have breakfast plans, though?” 

Vince shrugged, an impish smile on his face. “Guess we do now.”

October

“I bought that tea you like,” Vince said from his spot on the couch. “I didn’t want you to be over here while you’re looking after Henry and run out.” Henry was Vince’s rottweiler, a rambunctious eleven month old that he had adopted at the middle of last season. 

Aly smiled as she opened the cupboard, seeing her prized brand of Irish Breakfast next to his favorite type of coffee. “Thanks for that, Vin.” 

He shrugged as the corner of his mouth twitched. “Don’t mention it.” 

The Blues were about to leave for their first real road trip of the year, and it was an unspoken agreement by this time in their relationship that Aly would stay over at his apartment while he was away. Early on in the relationship, she’d just stop by a few times a week to water his plants, and then he got a few fish, and then Henry came along. It didn’t take much convincing from Vince for Aly to agree to look after them; Henry loved her almost as much as he did Vince, and getting to see him before and after school helped to curb some of the loneliness she felt in Vince’s absence. 

She turned down the hallway, taking her bag into his bedroom. He had a guest room that would have been just as convenient to stay in, but she had grown used to the feel of his sheets and liked having the ensuite bathroom. Plus, she had already not-so-subtly taken over one of the drawers in his dresser. Her bag had the jeans, button downs, and blouses she’d need for work — her school mostly adhered to a smart casual dress code, plus she was an art teacher — but there were plenty of sleep shirts, underwear, and leggings in the dresser. If push came to shove, she also wasn’t above stealing Vince’s old sweatshirts. He always said she looked better in them anyways. 

Even when Vince was back in town, she slept over enough for it to make sense for her to have a space of her own; it just wasn’t practical for her to have to drive fifteen minutes to her apartment and back again just to grab a shirt if she wanted to spend the night after a movie date ran long. They hadn’t broached the conversation of moving in together yet, though. It was something that had crossed Aly’s mind, and if she knew Vince as well as she thought she did, he had thought about it too. But she wasn’t in a hurry to break her lease and he hadn’t said anything about it, so she had decided to let sleeping dogs lie. 

She tucked her bag into the corner of his closet, padding into the bathroom and closing the door. She cursed herself as she pulled down her shorts, realizing that her period had started and, conveniently, her purse was out in the living room. Biting her lip, Aly decided to rummage around in the vanity, praying to God that she’d left something from the last time. It wasn’t like she thought Vince would be weird about it if she asked him to bring her something from her purse; he never had been before, even when she had bled through a pair of his sweats one night staying over. “Not a big deal,” he had said, shrugging and tossing them in the washing machine. “I needed to do laundry anyway.” But she’d rather not ask if she didn’t have to. She crossed her fingers as she pulled out the last drawer, her head turning to the side in confusion as she saw an unopened box of tampons. Her eyes softened in realization. He had bought them without her ever having to ask. 

January 

It was bye week for the Blues, which meant everyone who hadn’t been picked for the All Star Team suddenly had an extra week in the middle of the season and nothing to do to fill it. Or, rather, had a week in the middle of the season and had to find something to do to fill it. In Vince and Aly’s case, that something turned out to be a trip to the Bahamas with some of his teammates and their wives. It had been a no-brainer for him to invite Aly; everyone else was bringing their partners and Vince knew she had a few vacation days saved up from work. They had been planning it for months, Aly having requested the time off as soon as she was able, and had blissfully traded in the chilly winters of Missouri for a balmy week on the shores of Nassau.

Vince had wanted to go to Iceland originally, half to do with the hiking and half to do with the ponies he saw in a National Geographic article as a kid, but one Google search from Sammy led them to the unfortunate realization that being so far north, there were only about six hours of daylight each day and the temperature topped out in the mid 30s. Vince looked a little deflated when he read the forecast. “Don’t worry,” Aly had said, squeezing his arm in reassurance. “We can go in June, after school lets out and before you head home for the summer. I’ve heard amazing things about their hot springs.” Sammy wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Aly hit his shoulder. 

But the Bahamas were proving to be one of the most beautiful places she had ever been. “Better than home?” he asked as they lay stretched out on the sand while they watched the sun dip below the horizon. 

She scrunched her nose at him. “Unfair comparison. St. Louis is hovering around freezing and perpetually covered in a layer of slush this time of year. And, to be fair, it’s an endearing layer of slush and I love it. But right now I think I’d rather be where it’s 75º and sunny and I can lay outside looking hot as hell in a bikini without worrying about freezing my tits off.” 

Vince choked on his rum punch. “Worried about that, are you?” 

Aly shrugged. “I’d rather deal with a sunburn. Which, speaking of,” she glanced over at Vince, “you’re looking a little red. Don’t worry, though. I’ve got as much aloe vera as I could pack in a single quart bag. Would have tried to sneak in a whole bottle, but didn’t want the feds after me.” 

Vince laughed, a whole body laugh that all but consumed him for a few moments, before pulling Aly in to rest against his chest. “I’m really happy you came, Aly. You know that, right?” 

“Why wouldn’t I? All-expenses paid trip to the Carribean with you and our friends, getting to hang out on the beach all day and drink cocktails without having to worry about driving home after?” 

Vince gasped in mock offense, the hand that wasn’t wrapped around her waist coming to clench at his heart. “You’re killing me here, Aly! You mean to tell me this whole time you’ve only been using me for my money? I expected more from you.” 

“Not just your money, Vin,” she giggled, settling into his touch. “I tried to pay for my share of the expenses, you wouldn’t have it. But seriously, I do really love it here. It’s gorgeous, and so peaceful, and there’s really not anything I think we could do to make it better. I love you, Vince Dunn.” 

“I love you too, Aly Kalinski.” 

April 

“One sec, I’ve got to go grab something,” Vince said, smiling at Aly as he pushed his chair back from the table. It was the day after he had come home from a two week road trip, and he had invited her over for dinner, told her to dress nice, and made what actually turned out to be a very respectable dinner of ravioli and roasted vegetables. 

She nodded as her heart started to pound faster and faster, coming to a peak when she thought her chest was going to burst as Vince returned from the bedroom, turning a blue velvet box over in his hands. “I know it might seem unexpected, but I saw this the other day while I was downtown with Sammy and I don’t know, just somehow knew you were meant to have it. Knew it was meant to be yours. Something I hope you’ll see as a sign of how much I love and care about you and how even though we might not always physically be together, you’re the person I trust most in this life.” 

He slid the box across the table to Aly, who opened it with shaking hands. Inside was a silver necklace with a pendant of an olive tree on it. It was absolutely gorgeous — and Vince was right, very her — but it was not what she had been expecting.

Aly snorted, burying her face into her hands. “Oh my God, I’m going to have to call my mom.” 

Vince was confused. “Why?” 

Aly rolled her eyes. “I told her I was coming over here for dinner and you told me to dress nice. She thought you were going to propose.” 

“Propose?” Vince asked, dumbfounded. “Why would I propose?” 

She tried to wave him off, but Vince could see the shimmer of hurt behind her eyes. “I mean, we’ve been together for almost two years. It wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility.”

“Together?” He looked over at her. “For two years?” 

“Yeah?” she said slowly, thinking he had forgotten their anniversary. “Come June, two years.” 

Vince swallowed hard as it began to dawn on him, looking down at his hands. “Together...She thinks we’ve been together for,” he looked up at the ceiling, “twenty-one months.” 

“You keep repeating that word, babe. Together. What’s confusing about it?” Aly said, giving him a weird look.  

God, how was he supposed to tell her? “I didn’t know we were together. Are together? Let alone that your mom was expecting a proposal.” 

Aly’s blood ran cold. “Let me get this straight,” she said, pausing. “You didn’t know we’re together? What did you think we’ve been doing for almost two years?” 

“Being really good friends?” 

She shook her head. “Why did you tell me to dress up when I came over, then? Why did you make dinner?”

He fixed his eyes on a chip in the coffee table. “I knew you’d been having a rough week and I wanted to do something nice for you.”

“What about the vacation?” She questioned.

He shrugged helplessly. “Everyone else was going in couples, and you’re my best friend down here regardless.” 

“Me coming to all the games? Sitting up in the box?” 

“You’ve become friends with all the WAGs, and I love having you there to support me,” he tried. 

“The sex?” Aly asked incredulously. 

Vince winced. Okay, that  one was a little harder to explain away. “I just always thought that we were both single, both hot, both too busy to get into relationships. Each other’s best options.” 

God, Aly felt like a fucking fool. She felt like she’d been played, because in a weird, sort of twisted way, she had. “You said you thought it was because we’re both too busy to be in relationships now. But Vince, I know you have no think energy out your ears, but I need you to concentrate for a minute. Think about most couples you know. They get together a few times a week if they don’t live together. We do that.” He nodded. 

“They have a drawer or a part of a closet at each other’s places, they look after each other’s plants and dogs when they’re out of town. We do that. They become friends with each other’s friends, they visit each other’s families, they take weekend trips together and fly to the Bahamas with friends when they have a week off. We did that.” She looked up at him, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. “They dance around in the kitchen together and make love and go to the zoo at least once a month because I love seeing the otters. They comfort each other when they’re at their worst, encourage each other at their best. You said you didn’t have time for a relationship, but you didn’t realize that that’s what we’ve been doing, Vince.” 

Now it was Vince’s turn to be struck speechless. Aly wasn’t meeting his eyes. And honestly, he couldn’t blame her. He turned to look at her, but she had stood up abruptly from the couch, pacing nervously as she slowly made her way to the door. “I, uh, I think I should go,” she said, looking down at her hands. 

Vince stood up, taking a half step towards her before deciding that it was best to give her space. “No, Aly, you don’t have to go. We can talk. I think —”

“No, I think. I think you don’t feel the same way, and I’ve been misreading things for two years. And that’s fine, I can’t force you to fabricate feelings that aren’t there, so um. I’ll go,” Aly said, shaking her head stiffly. She opened the door and shut it, and Vince was suddenly stuck in the loudest silence he’d ever heard. It was like he couldn’t move for a minute, as if all of his muscles were paralyzed, and then he came back to reality. Aly had only been gone for maybe a minute at most, but it felt like an hour. 

Vince bolted out of the door, not even bothering to lock it, running straight past the elevator. Stairs would be quicker. He caught her just as she was exiting the front door, one of her hands coming up to wipe a stray tear off her cheek. “Aly!” Vince called. She hesitated for a moment but kept walking. Vince ran across the lobby, not even caring about his complete lack of shoes. “Aly! Wait up, please.” 

She turned around, eyes watering, and sighed, walking over towards one of the chairs with a defeated look on her face. She didn’t even sit down, just perched on the arm like she wasn’t quite comfortable with actually settling in, like she needed to be able to up and leave at any given moment. “Please, Vince. Don’t make this any harder than it has to be. I’m not mad at you for not feeling the same way, it wouldn’t be fair of me and people can’t control their feelings, but I feel like a fucking idiot right now. Like I spent so long misreading all sorts of signs and signals and words —”

“What if you didn’t?” Vince asked breathlessly. 

Aly looked startled. “What do you mean?”

“What if you didn’t misread anything, Aly? What if you didn’t have to be mad at me for not feeling the same way, because I do?”

Aly sunk into the chair, her eyes meeting his for the first time since she had left his apartment. “Then why...Why did you not say anything? How did you not know we were in a relationship?”

Vince ran a hand through his hair, squeezing his eyes shut. “Because I thought that’s all you were going to give me. And if that was it, that was enough for me,” he smiled sadly. “I thought everything, the sex and the wedding and the Bahamas, was just me being a good friend and you needing a stress relief and someone who’d always be in your corner. I never knew this was supposed to be a relationship. I didn’t think you wanted anything serious. And I had resigned myself to that, come to terms with only getting stolen kisses on late nights and early-morning coffee runs before you had to head to school. If I only got you halfway, I was okay with it, because I love you and that was better than nothing.” 

“You what?” Aly’s breath caught in her throat. 

“I love you,” Vince said. It was the easiest thing he had ever admitted. Because it was true. 

He had told her he loved her before, but as Aly searched his face, she could tell that he meant it in a different way. In the way she always wanted him to. “You love me?” she asked, voice cracking. 

Vince nodded. “I do. I’m in love with you. And you don’t know how good that feels to admit.”

Aly gave an airy laugh, reaching up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear before Vince had a chance to get it for her. “I think I might.”

“I’ve just got one question, though,” Vince asked. 

“Which is?” 

He cracked a smile. “You’re not going to make us change our anniversary date, are you? It would be pretty weird to explain to everyone and I really don’t want Aunt Ruth to find out and show up at my door to chase me around with a chainsaw.”

Aly giggled, leaning over and placing an exhilarated kiss against his lips. “No.”

[thevividgreenmoss]

My grandfather was awake and lucid for a longish while between late Friday night and Saturday morning apparently first time since this past Sunday when we all thought that was It and crammed ourselves seven people in one sedan that got a flat on the way over of course (as we were leaving the handle of the screen door came off in my hand as I was closing it behind me so the vibe was very on the nose things farcically falling apart that whole goddamn day lol) but then when we made it he was smiling and laughing and talking to and teasing everyone that was there, albeit with much more effort than it would have taken him even just a week earlier when he was already in a really frail state because of his hip surgery. My sister happened to be up later than she usually ever is and got to video call and chat with him for a bit I wanted terribly for my cousin in Colorado to be able to also but by the time he could get through my grandpa's blood pressure had suddenly spiked or something and he'd drifted back into that borderline unconscious state so they didn't get a chance to talk which makes me want to claw my fucking skin off of my face but who knows maybe another opportunity will present itself hopefully it does like he suddenly became really talkative and energized the other day after not having said more than maybe a couple sentences over the few previous days like I was there with him for several hours on Thursday and the entire time he didn't say a word and only opened his eyes once for like half a second and even that I might have been imagining after sitting there sleep-deprived and holding his hand trying not to cry because then my mom would start crying and then my aunt and on and on and if he's conscious at that point he'll start to get worried and his heart rate will destabilize but after that for this one stretch without anyone expecting it he was really talkative and alert and joking around with the nurses and doctors and all that for a while but then later yesterday afternoon he started to get disoriented and drift in and out of the present in between dreaming and waking again at one point apparently he kept saying 'look at my shoes' to my mom and her sisters and they thought it was just just the medication/pain-induced delirium talking but he kept insisting and eventually said 'you're not taking me seriously' and I guess gave up? Or said it a few more times I'm not clear on the course of events I only heard all this secondhand when my younger aunt, who also got diagnosed with cancer late last year but thankfully is more or less in the clear now, got back home last night and she and I went into his room and took all the shoes out of the cabinet he keeps them in and like looked inside and turned over and examined the soles of every pair, took the cushion insert things out of the ones that had them, checked for scooby doo-esque hidden doors, all that but there was nothing there just shoes. Her kids flew back out yesterday morning, the older one's tentatively returning to Toronto in the next week or so she had a painfully rough time in some ways her first couple of years and then abruptly had to be uprooted and leave because of covid then everything with her mom and in time honored eldest daughter tradition bearing the brunt of the familial frustration and insanity associated with that and now everything with our grandpa I really really want her senior year to go smoothly and be enjoyable and memorable in a manner opposite to how this past year+ has been I'm so worried about her and her little sister's starting freshman year there in the fall and I'm terribly worried about her in a whole different way like she's still really attached to her parents in this innocent way that still strongly resembles like a baby's adoring my mom hung the moon type attachment and it can be especially hard being away for the first time ever when that's the case...like she's hyper hypersensitive even by my family's standards lmao but she does have this sort of self-possession and inner groundedness that no one can quite pin down but it's

definitely there and maybe that

could carry her through I really hope so...they were saying to come up to visit them in the fall hopefully I can find a job soon after returning to Texas and like be able to afford to do that and also like keep paying the bills and shit lol in either case I hope so so badly that they'll be okay like I think they will be the women in my family are all really strong but they've also had to be because of various fucked circumstances and I don't want that to keep having to be the case...my grandpa's a Strong Woman in a certain way also honestly lmao like my mom's aunts have always been like your father raised you in a way beyond even most mothers which like who fucking receives let alone genuinely deserves that kind of praise from their in-laws lmao let alone a man from a notoriously patriarchal culture of a generation when fathers from any culture barely had any involvement in their children's upbringing at all which I mean most still don't but even more so back then and like literally everyone we've been hearing from or seeing drop by at the hospital has a story of how at one point or another my grandpa was there for them when no one else was like distant cousins variously removed and loose family friends all with something about how he comforted me when no one else could, I remember word for word what he said to me when I suffered some loss of my own, he's the strongest man in our family, the best times we ever had were when he was near us, when he'd take us out, his youngest brother's children saying he cared for and spoiled them as if their were his own after their dad died suddenly when they were just kids, my mom's third cousin whose own father was with her till a late age saying that he was even more of a father to me than my own father, his other brother's son who was ostracized for decades by his immediate family on some straight up racist ass bullshit on the part of his mom and older brother because he married a black woman but my grandpa stayed in touch and made sure my mom and uncle did as well and made sure we all got together when he'd came to the states, like even now lying there on what very well might be his literal deathbed when he can barely talk he was telling my uncle he's worried about him and he needs to go home and rest, asking who's taking care of the house, are the kids all okay even at this point his thoughts are for others. After I put his shoes back in the cabinet I closed it and opened the one beside just in case I guess just in case what I don't know but it was just like standard cabinet stuff clothes a shaving kit and a couple of what I assume are photo albums that I didn't feel like I should open for some reason and a few old books, a collection of Ghalib's which I can't really read very easily if at all because it's in Urdu lol, a history of government college of Lahore where his father was teaching at the time of his death and the two philosophy textbooks my great grandfather had written himself, Inductive & Deductive Reasoning, and inside the latter I found a handful of yellowed pages torn out of an old notebook upon which mostly seem to be translations of french poems and I think maybe a song or two? I guess old coursework or just for funsies I'm not sure whether written by my grandfather or his own father. My khala was mentioning just the other day that she'd kept one of my grandpa's old notebooks marked as having been designated for biology but inside it were no actual notes just urdu poetry which she wasn't sure whether it was his own original tossed off work or something the lifelong frustrated creative transcribed while bored in class. The night I got here I was looking through his bookshelves after everyone had gone to bed and then a couple of weeks ago I was sitting in the living room by myself watching archer when my cousin came and sat down next to me upset and unable to sleep on her own first night here and I held her and tried not to cry and then went through the same bookshelves again, this time with my cousin who we came to Pakistan for the first time after moving to the US

to see being born who turned three

the day we arrived on what until this current trip was the last time I was here her little sister having just been born earlier that same year (whose life I may or may not have saved when I caught her after she was dropped by the person holding her (the fact that (parentheticals within parentheticals!) I may or may not have been the one who dropped her in the first place is immaterial imo not that I'm the one on trial here but what's important is that I caught her and if anything this would be an even more athletically impressive and frankly heroic incident if I'd been the one that was holding her to begin with since I was 8/9 years old at the time and there wasn't much of a distance for her to fall and yet I kept her from hitting the ground like talk about reflexes like that's what's important and what's more important than even that @ my year older cousin (whose younger sister was the first baby in the family after myself whose arrival in this world when I was three had me positively giddy in the way that young children get when witnessing the miracle of even younger children, who's the only other one of the cousins that's been here during all this, just me and the three I got to see as darling little babies) who was the only other person in the room with me at the time, is that we take this to our fucking graves no one can hear a word of this least of all any adults in the house who like not that they're the ones on trial here either but like who allowed for this scenario to transpire in the first place where two children and an infant are in a room by themselves unsupervised in retrospect that's somewhat irresponsible not that I'd ever hold it against them or even mention it because then they might get mad and not let me hold my little cousin anymore and I do love holding my little baby cousin and carrying her around everywhere, mostly without incident)) neither of whom I'd see in person again until we visited them in Canada the summer after I graduated college the trip during which I finished the last of the Neapolitan novels the day after landing and turned 22 the day after their mother, my younger khala, turned 43, looking through my nana's bookshelves with my baby cousin no longer a baby but a U of T classics major entering her senior year, noting the overlaps with our own, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, George Eliot, the same exact copies of Cheever and Kafka's collected shorts, Umberto Eco, Proust, wondering what the various titles meant to him or what they might say about him, wondering how much of even the version of him that can be hypothesized based off his library I'm missing now that I'm limited to the much reduced version of what had been in his old home in Lahore (when he visited us after my junior year of hs and my mom was trying to convince him to downsize and move in with my other aunt with whom he's been living the past several years, the one who most resembles my grandfather the only one that has his cheekbones my khala whose eyes have sunken all the way into her skull before my eyes with exhaustion and grief over the past two weeks, when my mom was like what's the point of just hanging onto a bunch of books that you've already read: I look at them [dramatic pause], and I feel happy [my mom sighing equally dramatically in.exasperation, me cracking up in the background]) the city I was born in the house where I spent the first almost five years of my life before we moved to the US to join my dad who'd moved back shortly after my mom became pregnant with what turned out to be me, abu nana's house with the garden we'd walk through every morning holding his hand and following along as he puttered around with his plants in the garden in the house in the city he had to leave to move into my khala's house in Islamabad where I've been the past almost a month now where two weeks ago he suddenly came down with pneumonia and had to be dragged to a hospital in Rawalpindi where he's been since, not in his house, my nana's house, with the garden in the city I haven't seen since the last time I was in this country the

summer I

turned nine the day after my khala turned 30 the day before my other khala turned 32(?) the summer I first remember obsessive compulsive disorder becoming an overwhelming aspect of my consciousness although it was there before, the first summer of the Iraq war and being terrified watching the Iraq war unfold on the BBC evening news my nana would turn on

at dinner time and hearing for the first time or maybe just the first time I remember the night we left the phrase 'the rich will get richer and the poor will get poorer' from my younger khala talking to her sisters and some family friends that had come over to see us off feeling terrified and cold then embarrassed because she noticed my face visibly fall from across the room and told my mom and I was like godammit everyone knows I'm scared now smhead then crying the entire flight back home because I missed everyone and maybe had a little kid premonition that I wouldn't return to my nana's house and I would be years and years till I saw any of them again some I still haven't or maybe there was nothing premonitory about it but in either case that's the way it turned out. I do feel grateful I got to see him again at all, when he last came to the US late 2016-early 2017 I was sure it would be the last time we would be in the same room. I'd make breakfast for us every morning and we'd eat together and the entire day I'd sit next to him inhaling secondhand smoke and talking and reading. I was in the midst of my initial aborted attempt to read Swann's way when he arrived. I'd gotten to Guermantes way last summer but I couldn't find a secondhand copy so I had to read it via ebook and that didn't feel right so I abandoned it until now I've been reading a copy pulled from his bookshelf. Last he visited was the first time I learned we were both Garcia Marquez-heads which I'd kind of assumed before and I showed him Mad Men which he heavily fucked with and also every John Le Carre adaptation I could track down online. From the first time I read one hundred years of solitude the summer after freshman year of college the passage describing Colonel Aureliano Buendia's death already absolutely and unbearably heartwrenching enough immediately brought thoughts of my grandfather, aching aching sorrow over the solitude that he himself existed within in all the fucking pain his life has been inordinately filled with grief over the knowledge of this inevitable final separation from him after so many years and so much distance already having separated him from the people he loved and cared for and he loved and cared for so many people so deeply with such sincerity and beauty and endless endless warmth and compassion and humor when Gabo wrote of the colonel trying to reach back through to his memories and being unable to after previously recalling that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice even years later, as he faced the firing squad, at the moment of his death like a 'baby chick' my poor frail beautiful grandfather appearing exactly the same way when he'd take off his dentures and curl over to the side to sleep, then when awake but still half asleep hearing your voice having brought his apple cider vinegar and garlic concoction or a cup of tea or just coming by to hold his hand or play with his beard the way all of his grandchildren have at one point or another and smiling with his eyes still closed smiling bright and wide the expression of a precious little cat purring as you scratch under its chin always the most beautiful smile and even as his hair turned white and his body withered and wrinkled and shrunk his cheekbones while still not bad long ago ceased being the way they were in that picture from his wedding day back when he he looked like young Robert De Niro's much much prettier Kashmiri cousin from then until now always that same radiance and those same quick-witted and kind and bright bright bright sparkling eyes. The past month and a half I've been feeling like I'm seeing my own mother dying before my eyes along with her father, my adorable beloved abu nana, I can't even begin to comprehend how she must be feeling right now I feel like I'm witnessing her death in advance through all of this and losing the part of her that is him even though I know that's not actually the case. Things have been so fucking painful and complicated between us but the one thing we've shared that's never

been painful is our love for him. When he left after his last visit four years ago I spent the next two days barely able to even talk. Compliments or like any positive comments directed in my directions have almost always caused me this reflexive discomfort and uneasiness but whenever he or anyone else would say that I'm his favorite grandchild I'd want to hold on to that as closely as i possibly can. I don't want him to leave us and more than that I want for whatever happens to at least happen with him back at home but neither of those things seem likely right now although who the fuck knows. I hope his last thoughts can be of flowers, like Kafka's, and Lispector's, or of love, wherever he is I hope it's not asking too much to hope for that at least. For someone that spent his life so deeply immersed within that Garciamarquesian solitude he never made those around him feel any way other than at home, safe and warm and loved and adored and adorable and lovable and at home not because of a place not even the garden at the house in Lahore but with him always always I've never felt more at home than during the times I spent near him, and his love and his flowers