#but others I'm convinced it's just like patriarchy nonsense that has bled into every aspect of society including gender

[queenofthursday6599-blog]

The older I get the more and more I realize I'm what can only be described as gender blind about a lot of things.

Mostly because I'll hear like a transvastigator say something is a trait that only happens in one sex, or a trans person saying something gives them dysphoria and I'll be completely caught off guard because I had no clue that was even like something tangentially thought of as associated with one gender over the other.

Like eyebrow ridges. I had no idea a lot of people consider a brow ridge that like sticks out and makes your eyes look shadowed a masculine thing, and a flatter brow ridge feminine, until like a few weeks ago.

Mostly because I a cis woman have an eye brow ridge that sticks out and makes my eyes look shadowy, along with a large number of other women in my family also having this trait.

I've also similarly met multiple men with flatter brow ridges a number of times in my life.

So the idea that how much your brow bone sticks out of your face being a gender thing was a complete surprise to me.

Or certain nose shapes.

I still don't understand why a lot of transwomen get nose jobs as part of facial feminization surgery.

So you don't have a tiny little button nose, neither do most women, not naturally anyways.

Also it happens very frequently that I'll start watching like a new youtuber, who I'll have no idea is trans until they either mention it directly, or someone else mentions it directly.

Like there's been multiple instances of me watching a youtuber for a while, and me finding out they're not cis by way of them saying they don't pass very well. Or them returning from facial feminization surgery with a new face and then explaining the things they got done during the surgery and why.

And I'll just be completely shocked because it didn't even cross my mind mind to even guess they were AMAB.

I'm like the opposite of a transvestiagtor. I just tend to take people at face value when they tell me what gender they are, and not really give it a second thought.

Like when I heard Lily Orchard's voice for the first time (I think it was a clip of her talking in a video of someone responding/reacting to one of her videos), and heard her referred to as a woman, I just kind of defaulted to "oh a deep voiced lady" and then thought nothing more of it.

And was then surprised when it was mentioned she was trans later that same video.

And it's not like I'm oblivious to trans people existing, or anything. It's more that I don't tend to be terribly curious about people's past unless they themselves bring it up, which inadvertently can include their past as an egg.

I'm nosy in a lot of ways, but not that way specifically. I feel like it's because I was raised in a family where we were encouraged not to try to pry into people's past because my family has a large number of both addicts and recovering addicts (because generational trauma), and it's seen as rude to try to dig into someone's past which can potentially trigger them to backslide.

So I tend to just assume whatever version of you I meet first is the default and anything that happened before is irrelevant until you bring it up to me personally.

But learning someone is trans isn't like earth shattering, just surprising to me.

I'd say the surprise level is roughly equivalent to the surprise I feel when I learn someone can juggle, or skate board, or any other skill I personally do not have.

There's a long list of things that would shock me more than finding out someone has been trans this whole time, and I'm apparently too gender blind to clock them.

Like if I found out you're trans and you have a pet savannah cat the same day, the bigger shock is that you own a savannah cat. Because only crazy people want to bring a wild animal into their home and treat it like a domestic cat.

Does that make sense?